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My best friend (M21) raped me (F 21) and I want to forgive him. Should I?

2024.05.19 13:43 Imaginary-Pear-8450 My best friend (M21) raped me (F 21) and I want to forgive him. Should I?

I also wanna share my story so it's going to be long. So we we were classmate from middle school until highschool. We got along well and really became bestie since highschool. We hung out in the same group of friend and I am the type if girl that get along well with both girls and boys. He was the closest opposite-sex friend I got tho. People always asked if we we're dating because of some acts wedl did together like sharing the same seat or sleeping on each other's lap. I also wondered what he thought about me. Every time people asked if we felt embarrassed doing those acts he just told them "I know it sounds weird but I don't see her as a girl". Well I mean my personality does like a boy since I'm athletic. We happened to go to the same college and I was happy like he was the only one I knew went to the same college as me. We hung out alot, the group of friends from before still sometimes go with us but usually just me and him. One more reason we were so close is because we are addictive to the same video game. We communicate almost everyday because I would grind my rank every day after school with him. One day we took a day off together to grind rank, after that, he invited me over his house watch movie and hang out together. I accepted the offer and didn't even think about the barrier of two sex as we were so close all those years. We really did watched movies and I drank a little too much mixed fruit alcohol so I was abit drunk. I remember he tried to touch my thighs and ass after I got drunk but I pushed him away. Didn't think much until he grabbed my breasts. I hitted him and jump on his bed. I start to feel something is off but I still ignore and tell him to switch the movie. To my surprise, he climbed on bed with me and played a porn video. I was shoked but stayed silent. But he stary hugging my waist so I pushed him away...after that I fell asleep and my memories faded abit. I only remember he said something about I was being crazy and he wanted to have sex with me. I don't remember resisted that strongly tho I think it was because of the alcohol... then he just assaulted me. After that he turn on the movies again like nothing happened until the next morning then he raped me again this time I resisted and shouted at him. Then I call my mother to pick my up. I didn't tell my mother tho just told her I got a party at his place. The strange thing is that even tho I was disgusted and feeling violated. I don't feel any hatres toward him. Not even mad. We just got another game today and he asked if I remember what he did and said he had a bad day and that he sorry. I just kind of accept it and we just chat and game like normal. Of course a bit awkward but... I mean should I forgive him? I feel like I want to forgive him but he might think I liked what he did and do it again.
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2024.05.19 13:42 OnlyActivity6585 My GF’s parents are Jehovah’s Witnesses- M16, F16

My GF’s parents are Jehovah’s Witnesses
For context, I'm 16 and so is my significant other. We both go to the same high school.
I’ve been developing this relationship with one of the most amazing people. She is great and understands me in the most nuanced way, she is just everything I’ve wanted and more. She and I started talking back in February and she eventually told me she had feelings and this had been the case since September (when I was in another relationship). To be frank, I didn’t believe I had the slightest chance of being with her because she was stunning, knock out beautiful. I told her during that discussion that I wasn’t ready for a relationship but I would be in the future, especially because I had just ended a relationship that ended rather nasty way. She and I continued to talk for a few more months, and our feelings towards one another became very strong and eventually, we started dating which we were both very happy about. She had mentioned this before in previous conversations and it was becoming a more prominent issue as our relationship progressed, she was never allowed outside of the house, had no after-school activities, barely any time to hang out with her very close friends, and especially no time to hang out with a guy, she could practically do nothing outside of her own home. She eventually mentioned to me that her parents are Jehovah's Witnesses which was worrying for a plethora of reasons and explained the total lockdown she was on. In addition to this, we were dating in secret because of her parent's strict “no dating” rule. It got to the point where I’d only see her in school and we would just call and text which I didn’t mind but I wanted to spend time with her, in person. As summer approaches, her and I both concluded that we wouldn’t be able to hang out for the entire duration of our summer break (3 months). We came to a mutual understanding that we should just be friends so we didn’t have to try to make a romantic relationship work while being completely online. She has had several conversations with her parents about dating me and dating in general and they have always responded with a very strong “NO”. We both still have feelings for one another but it’s hard not being able to see each other for such a long period. We might get back together in the future if tensions loosen with her parents but that's not definite. We still want to update one another on our lives how we're doing mentally, and what we're doing creatively but it hurts going back to square one, just being a friend and acting like our relationship didn't even happen. I love her like I've never loved anyone before and I want this to work. I don't want to lose her and don't think she wants to lose me either.
Is there any way we could get back together under these circumstances?
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2024.05.19 13:38 Witty_Cantaloupe8720 Why doesn't medication work on my nose?

TLDR: Suffering from a chronic stuffy nose and medications like azelastine hydrochloride, fluticasone propionate, betamethasone, oxymetazoline hydrochloride, desloratidine and psuedoephedrine don't work on me.
I (19M) have been having trouble with a chronic clogged nose for about 3 years and it has either gotten worse, or I'm noticing it more due to being more physically active.
During the day it feels like I can get in very little air from my nose and my sense of smell is impaired. Normally it's dry, not runny. It can differ from day to day, sometimes feeling a bit better, but even then it's not adequate. I notice it most when doing any sort of physical activity that raises my heart rate like lifting weights, going on hikes, running, etc. Of course everyone finds it harder to breath during exercise, but since my normal ability to breath through my nose is worsened, raising my heart rate makes it impossible.
Other symptoms: - Dry throat when waking up due to mouth breathing. - Unbearable clogged nose when sick. - Worse with colder weather: as my nose gets runny, I feel like the mucus blocks the already small hole I'm getting air from. - Only able to smell strong odors.
After seeing my x-ray, my doctor told me that I had an inflamed nasal mucosa and a slightly deviated septum, which wasn't deviated enough to be the cause. He prescribed me a nasal spray with active ingredients: azelastine hydrochloride and fluticasone propionate. Used the spray as per his instructions for about 2 weeks, but it had no effect.
Next he prescribed me another nasal spray containing oxymetazoline hydrochloride for 5 days, 10 tablets of desloratadine and a betamethasone muscular injection. None of them produced even a slight change in my condition. Reading some good reviews on the Internet made me want to try taking a psuedoephedrine tablet before a long hike, but again no effect.
Up until now I have never abused nasal sprays, using them rarely with particularly bad colds. And also haven't used oral medication for my nose before.
So my question is, why don't anyone of these medications decongest my nose at all when they work well for most other people?
submitted by Witty_Cantaloupe8720 to AskDocs [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:35 OnlyActivity6585 My GF’s parents are Jehovah’s Witnesses

For context, I'm 16 and so is my significant other. We both go to the same high school.
I’ve been developing this relationship with one of the most amazing people. She is great and understands me in the most nuanced way, she is just everything I’ve wanted and more. She and I started talking back in February and she eventually told me she had feelings and this had been the case since September (when I was in another relationship). To be frank, I didn’t believe I had the slightest chance of being with her because she was stunning, knock out beautiful. I told her during that discussion that I wasn’t ready for a relationship but I would be in the future, especially because I had just ended a relationship that ended rather nasty way. She and I continued to talk for a few more months, and our feelings towards one another became very strong and eventually, we started dating which we were both very happy about. She had mentioned this before in previous conversations and it was becoming a more prominent issue as our relationship progressed, she was never allowed outside of the house, had no after-school activities, barely any time to hang out with her very close friends, and especially no time to hang out with a guy, she could practically do nothing outside of her own home. She eventually mentioned to me that her parents are Jehovah's Witnesses which was worrying for a plethora of reasons and explained the total lockdown she was on. In addition to this, we were dating in secret because of her parent's strict “no dating” rule. It got to the point where I’d only see her in school and we would just call and text which I didn’t mind but I wanted to spend time with her, in person. As summer approaches, her and I both concluded that we wouldn’t be able to hang out for the entire duration of our summer break (3 months). We came to a mutual understanding that we should just be friends so we didn’t have to try to make a romantic relationship work while being completely online. She has had several conversations with her parents about dating me and dating in general and they have always responded with a very strong “NO”. We both still have feelings for one another but it’s hard not being able to see each other for such a long period. We might get back together in the future if tensions loosen with her parents but that's not definite. We still want to update one another on our lives how we're doing mentally, and what we're doing creatively but it hurts going back to square one, just being a friend and acting like our relationship didn't even happen. I love her like I've never loved anyone before and I want this to work. I don't want to lose her and don't think she wants to lose me either.
TL;DR Is there any outcome where she and I make our romantic relationship work?
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2024.05.19 13:33 salatkazorganow friends won't stop misgendering me

now for starters, i'm a trans femboy and very fem presenting. i basically look like a flat girl (small boobs + binding 🔥🔥) and i couldn't be happier about it, i love my femininity and i'm still 100% a guy. but i'm also aware that i don't pass in the slightest, which results in people often misgendering me. which, as long as they're strangers who simply have no idea/older people who aren't as accepting or educated, is fine. i don't mind at all when it's unintentional or when it comes from a place of misunderstanding. the problem is, a big majority of my friends my age (or similar) often misgender me and refer to me in feminine terms which i don't like. i tried to politely explain it to them and they would be like "yeah yeah" but then continue misgendering me anyways. if they were simply transphobic, i would understand, but they're not! there's another trans person in the friend group who they refer to by their correct pronouns and act super supportive. and i can't help but feel bitter that they can respect other people but not me. i don't want to be the pronoun police but every time they PURPOSELY misgender me, it genuinely hurts, especially when they respect the other person. i'm sorry if i sound whiny but i'm just kind of bitter about the fact that no one in my friend group respects me :( am i exaggerating, or do i have the right to be upset...because i genuinely dont know anymore. when i tried to tell them about how i feel they just went "womp womp" lmao
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2024.05.19 13:33 kaikoda I dunno wtf I am doing in life

2024 May: Every day I wake up to get on the computer, possibly download a game I won't end up playing but its nice the thought that I have a game waiting for me to play.
If not spent fully in front ont he computer monitor in a blackedout room for most days. I might chance at a morning walk then shower, then eat.
Its been over a decade I've been on meds I was forced on medications after I was voluntary patient in hospital at 17-18 years old. Im now 33.
My life before hospital was filled with movies, music and video games. Enough to keep me somewhat happy, just not that eager to be social. And thats before I knew I had autism (diagnosed at 15) the entertainment was a distraction from all the effed up crap I either experienced or witnessed.
Between 5 and 8 my parents split up, to this day I don't know why. I tried asking both of them but they both had variable different answers that changed. I was left trying to figure it out going back and forth between parents. But not having the social skills or the social knowhow to actually get answers I might need.
We lost the family home when I was 8. After that the neighbourhood friends dropped off. The family friends and their kids that I thought I got along with either left the area or just stopped having much to do with my parents.
Its annoying becasue I got along good with the girls my age. But once we all grew up things got complicated.
At school, I suspect the teachers gave me good marks when I was a troublesome kid. Looking back I was a lot meaner than I thought I was, I was bullied quite a bit and some years heavily, every day was worriesome. Like a cycle, I started off bad, then pulled my head in when my father found out and tried to work good, only that made the bullying worse. Like a cycle, I entered high school with the notion I won't be bullied again, I started acting up and it worked for 2 years. Then eventually I pulled my head in and tried my best regardless of how much people turned on me and abandoned me. Their was points were people were literally fighting over getting the seat next to me, I managed to get the whole class to form a big group for recess and lunch, the girls took a liking to me. But I was too stupid to do anythiing with it.
And once I started to try to work hard, the grades told another story, I wasn't that good. I had my moments, bookwork for science class. Maths above average. and more, if only 'he had applied himself a bit more.'
I still remember the end of high school, during science class (I didn't really get the work but I liked making diagrams and science writings) I had one book me mum got me, well, turns out it was one of those "cheap" "half" books (exercise book) that was half as big as a normal exercise book. Well, I ran out of space and pages very quickly. I was embarassed. I had to borrow a4 paper fromt he teacher just to do my work, i couldn't.
Another thing that was bad around that time was a old kid from my school moved back in town and started creating havok for me (his supposed best friend) and the rest of town. I hanged around with this kid for too long, he came back trying to milk off my "popularity" i "had" since he came back. He didn't realise I wasn't as popular any more. And it was obvious he was using me just like he was using everyone he could.
He got me started on smoking and drinking around 15. Damn near nearly smoked pot but we didn't know how to roll it properly.
I regret falling out with the popular group to make this kid the leader of a new group that was just shit. I fell out with the group because I realised that they weren't inviting me to their parties (Im probably glad though they were mostly males) and some of my better friends were going and going out on BMX's weren't as much a thing anymore.
Anwyays fast forward.
I stopped drinking with this kid, so caled friend of mine. and stopped being his friend. Maybe it was alcohol withdrawal but I felt depressed having no friends I could call and just hang out, no big commitments just woulda been nice some of my old friends could have been there. But they have made friends with beighbourhood bullies, and this kid that I stopped being his friend is in my opinion worse than a bully. He is a fr-enemy, a fake friend. Least a bully you can understand their intentions hwoever coarse or harsh and realise they are the bad one. But this kind of "friend" I have never came across, a fricken enigma of assholery. And by me giving him let, it let others just as bad flock to us and me, and use me for a place to party, drink, smoke whatever. I was there, but I was drinking myself through it in a probably chicken way to deal with it but I tried many times to push this kid away and he'd just manipulate his way back into you life. At the end I just broke down in tears and he said "Well if we're not friends you wont have any friends" then I said "If that means not having any friends like you, so be it"
I took about a year and I stopped working in a trade.
At the end of the year life got chaotic in my family and I felt trapped with my mum, so I tried to take a leap of faith. I went to hospital.
Now there is a lot I can share about life after the first hospital admission. A sorta err to caution for those that feel hospital "might" help. But I will summarize here and leave it up for discussion as I need to go to sleep.
Met my first love, now a girl I used to know.
Tried to work multipe times, and failed.
Went back to school, still didn't finish ha ha
Working through it, working with therapies in place and trying to help myself, with "their" help included.
Its been more than a decade on and off meds, but this time I'm trying to stick with it until I'm good and ready.
Recently I have gotten a case of gout (during last hospital stay, last year) and now I might also have "vertigo" so I can have sudden loss of bodily control if in a car, walking and other uncomfortable scenarios.
I share this hoping to give a peek into the life and trials of someone with autism. and if its wanted I may share my exp with schizo - type disorder as well as more about my hospital stays.
thanks
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2024.05.19 13:31 papajoshy69 25$ ps card for Elden ring

If somome could do me the random act of kindness and get me a 25$ ps card I’ve been tryna get Elden for a long time but uni keepin me from working so getting the money been tuff. Thank you fr
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2024.05.19 13:30 Teach8870 15 year old dog is suddenly acting dizzy and wobbly

Dog, 15 years, Jack Russell Terrier, Male, 17 pounds
Has kidney issues and is on a prescription diet which seems to help. Takes gabapentin 25mg every 12 hours for leg shakiness and arthritis pain. It has sensed to work well for him. He had a Lyme disease diagnosis a couple years ago and took antibiotics for 28 days.
He has been acting normal lately with minimal issues up until yesterday. Before, he had a pretty good appetite and had no issues with walking or jumping. He does sleep a lot and have bad teeth, but the vet and I discussed the risk of anesthesia at his age and decided it was best not to worry about his teeth.
Yesterday, he was fairly normal in the morning, but things got worse as the day went on. He went out to use the bathroom in the morning and ate a little breakfast as usual. Later in the evening, I noticed he wouldn’t get up from where he was laying. I picked him up to carry him outside and he immediately sat down, which is very unusual. He wouldn’t budge. I brought him back inside to try to feed him, and he wouldn’t eat anything. This isn’t that unusual because his appetite isn’t always on schedule and he sometimes eats later in the evening. However, he wouldn’t eat anything at all when I tried, including his absolute favorite treats. I just assumed his stomach was hurting because that happens sometimes.
A little later I try to take him out again, and when I place him on the ground, he immediately falls forward. I pick him up and he is swaying and very wobbly. His eyes also look strange - kinda blank. For the rest of the evening he doesn’t eat and doesn’t move much. I forced the gabapentin and he did drink a bunch of water.
Into the night, he woke up and I took him outside. He walked some and was still very shaky and off balance, but he didn’t fall. He tried to poop and looked like he struggled because of his balance. I noticed he did manage a small amount and it was diarrhea. He would squat and strain and nothing would come out. Also, he would struggle to hold himself in the squat position for too long. His back legs seemed hard to bend. This happened again later in the night as well and he drank a bunch more water.
This morning he is still just laying in his bed. He won’t eat. He isn’t panting or anything, and his head isn’t tilted down (I read about old dog syndrome online when checking symptoms).
I tried to think if anything weird had happened to cause a concussion. I remembered opening the bathroom cabinet and it hitting his head. He walked into it as I was swinging it open. This probably happened around 2 in the afternoon or so. I don’t think the impact was hard enough to cause a concussion, but I’m unsure because he did shake his head after it happened.
So I’m not sure if it’s a concussion or stroke or something different.
I know that it won’t be long before I have to make the choice to euthanize. I’ve known this for about a year now and have just been carefully watching his behavior and assessing his quality of life.
Is it time to do it now?
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2024.05.19 13:27 Delicious_Finding_70 help! Idk what to do

So i was playing baldurs gate 3 on my laptop. Its has a intel i7 and gtx 1050. The whole game experience was kinda laggy even despite the fact that i played the whole game in low settings. But in act 3 it just became so damn unbearable. I wish I had refunded it earlier but honestly i thought it rly wasnt that bad in the first 2 hours of steam gameplay. And sometimes it would run butter smooth. But now in act 3 its so unplayable. I have a ps5 and im considering buying the game there instead but it just feels like a waste of money now that i bought the game in laptop. But i know ps5 has stable 60fps gameplay while putting it in high graphic settings. And yes i did try finding every single possible video to help with the stutter and lag but they were all temporary fixes it never really fixed anything. Should I just buy the game on ps5? Im also scared I have to restart my whole playthrough and its not like bg3 is an easy game to replay, the games long as hell bruh.
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2024.05.19 13:26 Orange_Menace1 Randyll Tarly - Blackfyre Supporter (my first theory)

Randyll Tarly - Blackfyre Supporter (my first theory)
Note: I started writing this and it got away from me. Rather than fill in the unfinished points, I've just left them there for everyone to consider

Preface

Randyll Tarly on a first read through is a jerk. He tortures Sam, insults Brienne, implements draconian justice and downplays the golden company threat. Prima-Facie, he is a violent commander with little political cunning.
Except for his results. By the end of ADWD
· He receives accolades for every battle fought (I hold fire on the term won)
· He holds the queen in his custody.
· He has a voice at council
· He secured his chosen heir in defiance of westrosi customs
If we assume these things didn’t happen by chance, we can re-examine some of his older achievements, actions, and then try to sort out his motives.

Randyll Tarly as a Commander

Roberts Rebellion

Battle of Ashford

Context: The battle of Ashford was Roberts one defeat in his rebellion. Tarly’s van sailed forward and defeated Roberts host, but the battle was inconclusive. Robert retreated to the stony sept, recovered, regrouped, and when his allies arrived and consolidated forces, used this new army to win the war.

Relevant Sections – directly on point paragraphs:

A Storm of Swords - Tyrion III

Tyrion had to bite his tongue at that. Robb Stark had won more battles in a year than the Lord of Highgarden had in twenty. ~Tyrell's reputation rested on one indecisive victory over Robert Baratheon at Ashford, in a battle largely won by Lord Tarly's van before the main host had even arrived.~

A Storm of Swords - Davos V

"Edric, you ought not boast," Maester Pylos said. "King Robert suffered defeats like any other man. Lord Tyrell bested him at Ashford, and he lost many a tourney tilt as well."

A Storm of Swords - Samwell V

"Your father is an able soldier," King Stannis said. "He defeated my brother once, at Ashford. Mace Tyrell has been pleased to claim the honors for that victory, but Lord Randyll had decided matters before Tyrell ever found the battlefield. He slew Lord Cafferen with that great Valyrian sword of his and sent his head to Aerys." The king rubbed his jaw with a finger. "You are not the sort of son I would expect such a man to have."

A Dance with Dragons - The Griffin Reborn

~He had lost it all at Stoney Sept, in his arrogance.~
~Robert Baratheon had been hiding somewhere in the town, wounded and alone. Jon Connington had known that, and he had also known that Robert's head upon a spear would have put an end to the rebellion, then and there~. He was young and full of pride. How not? King Aerys had named him Hand and given him an army, and he meant to prove himself worthy of that trust, of Rhaegar's love. He would slay the rebel lord himself and carve a place out for himself in all the histories of the Seven Kingdoms.

Other information gleaned from context

· Tarly did not inflict substantial casualties
· Robert won the battle of the trident within a year – Ashford is 282AC and the trident is 283
· Robert fled to and was sheltered in the stony sept, where Jon Connington failed to flush him out. The battle of the bells occurred in 283AC, as did the battle of the trident shortly after

Analysis

Randyll leads the van some distance ahead of the main force, gets into a battle with the rebels, and inflicts minor to moderate casualties before they escape. Tyrell takes the credit.
From a military point of view, if the battle had not been decided before the main force arrived, the war would have likely ended. A much larger force (with assumedly many more horsemen) would have won the battle both more conclusively, and been able to pursue. By all rights, the strategy enforced by Mace Tyrell should have won the war (this theme will come in later in this theory), but for the fact only a fraction of his army engaged far ahead of the main host.
As an aside and jumping ahead a little – Tarly avoids doing this after the blackwater, closing off escape routes and slaughtering everyone. This hints at the fact that Ashford was a tactical mistake.
The first three viewpoints we receive on the battle are of note.
· Tyrion points out the battle was indecisive, and ~decided before the main host arrived~. He focuses on the victory in ‘battle’ as opposed to war.
· Stannis points out how able Randyll is by defeating his brother once at Ashford. Although unable to ascribe any special military strategy to Randyll, he calls him ‘able’ and decided matters before Tyrell arrived. He also flags that Mace Tyrell claimed the honours for the victory and he thinks this undeserved. It’s interesting as it’s Maces host at Ashford, a host that by all rights should have crushed Roberts army in a single battle – given the van alone defeated him. He also ascribes the only kill of note as lord Cafferen
· Maester Pylos points out that Robert lost battles at Ashford and flags it was Tyrell who bested him.
The battle by all appearances, was a farce. Ashford could have ended the war. Arguably, even with the van alone deciding the fight, it very nearly did. Instead, the battle is determined indecisive, there is no ‘impressive kill and capture list’ indicating the host was not captured or killed (as opposed to routed), and Mace has this massive potentially war-ending host not doing much because Robert is in retreat before it arrives.
Furthermore despite all this, Tarly very nearly won the day at Ashford. Robert suffered a serious – but nonfatal wound that seemingly took months (and at least weeks) to recover. The fact that a seriously wounded Robert was able to escape despite distinctive armour and weaponry raises questions of its own.
Finally, when Robert was wounded and hidden in the aftermath whilst he recovered, narratively it allowed JonCon to lay siege to the stony sept. As a parallel, one of the themes I will later touch on is how Tarly changes after this battle, and we know JonCon swears to kill more and become Tywin 2.0. as a direct result of the events at the sept. We see a similar change in Tarly.
It’s also of note that Tarly and Tyrell at this point were on the Targaryen side. This crops up later when we look into other motivations and goals.
Aftermath
So we know that Robert suffers wounds and is somewhat detached from his host (be it they left him in the stoney sept or he scattered off from the main host). We know this as he ends up wounded in the Stoney Sept. After this, the battle of the bells and all the great victories that ended the war occur.
Notably, Tarly has no major military achievements after this battle. Since Mace Tyrell was invested in the siege of Storms end, it can be presumed Tarly was positioned with the main force. The next time we see him is in the battle of 5 kings –

Discussion with Renly – The Siege of Stannis

  • Renly outright ignores Tarly when he says they'll be charging into the sun. In renlys conversation with stannis he points out how overwhelmingly strong his force is and how it will be heavy horse charging into boiled leather. He's not wrong, if the armies clash, stannis will be crushed and waiting is potentially disastrous, as stannis may not engage or slow the whole process down.

Battle of the Blackwater

A Clash of Kings - Sansa VII

They came up the roseroad and along the riverbank, through all the fields Stannis had burned, the ashes puffing up around their boots and turning all their armor grey, but oh! the banners must have been bright, the golden rose and golden lion and all the others, the Marbrand tree and the Rowan~, Tarly's huntsman~ and Redwyne's grapes and Lady Oakheart's leaf. All the westermen, all the power of Highgarden and Casterly Rock! ~Lord Tywin himself had their right wing~ on the north side of the river, with Randyll Tarly commanding the center and ~Mace Tyrell the left,~ but the vanguard won the fight. They plunged through Stannis like a lance through a pumpkin, every man of them howling like some demon in steel. And do you know who led the vanguard? Do you? Do you? Do you?"

A Storm of Swords - Catelyn II

"I told you to hold Riverrun," said Robb. "What part of that command did you fail to comprehend?"
"When you stopped Lord Tywin on the Red Fork," said the Blackfish, "you delayed him just long enough for riders out of Bitterbridge to reach him with word of what was happening to the east. ~Lord Tywin turned his host at once, joined up with Matthis Rowan and Randyll Tarly~ near the headwaters of the Blackwater, and made a forced march to Tumbler's Falls, ~where he found Mace Tyrell and two of his sons waiting with a huge host and a fleet of barges~. They floated down the river, disembarked half a day's ride from the city, and took Stannis in the rear."

We know tywin likes to put his strength on his flanks and in the reserve

Interestingly, Mace is there too, and it’s a tyrell van this time, not tarly
Lord Tywin himself had their right wing on the north side of the river, with Randyll Tarly commanding the center and Mace Tyrell the left, but the vanguard won the fight. They plunged through Stannis like a lance through a pumpkin, every man of them howling like some demon in steel.
ACOK 62: SANSA VII

Analysis

First the parallels. Mace Tyrell is paralleled to Tywin on the two flanks. It is a tyrell in the van who decides the day. Randyll commands the center.
Logistically, the battle is won by Mace Tyrell (whom I love as a character) with a fleet of barges and a huge host already in position (allowing the army to cross quickly enough to intercept the battle of the blackwater). Also the messenger that draws in Tywin’s host comes from Bitterbridge – Tyrell Lands. Given the van wins the battle, there’s a fair argument that Mace could have won the battle alone, albeit with all the support he wins a crushing victory instead.
So Randyll is relegated to an important, but ultimately ancillary position. Whether the battle is won by Tywin or Mace (and by all logistical accounts, it’s Mace), is another question, but the ‘finest soldier in the seven kingdoms’ is once again, somewhat ineffectual. He still commands the center in such a battle, but he displays no logistical or battle prowess in this fight either, just being a renowned commander in the right place at the right time.

Battle of Duskendale

· Lord Randyll defeats a northern army. The army is mostly foot and misplaced
· This time, few excape – XXXX cuts off the retreat.
· Some theories say he was tipped off by Roose Bolton.
· This time he gets the commander
· Figth occurs in FIELDS AND FARMS. Bad terrain for a retreat. Glover TRAPPED against blackwater bay
· Note that Glover had to be captured lest bolton treachery be revealed. Cannot be allowed to send raven.
· Strong implication of a trap and tipoff

A Storm of Swords - Catelyn IV

When they brought him word of the battle at Duskendale, where Lord Randyll Tarly had shattered Robett Glover and Ser Helman Tallhart, he might have been expected to rage.

A Storm of Swords - Tyrion VIII

But who would be mad enough to contest Joffrey's rule now, after what had befallen Stannis Baratheon and Robb Stark? There was still fighting in the riverlands, but everywhere the coils were tightening. Ser Gregor Clegane had crossed the Trident and seized the ruby ford, then captured Harrenhal almost effortlessly. Seagard had yielded to Black Walder Frey, ~Lord Randyll Tarly held Maidenpool, Duskendale, and the kingsroad.~

A Storm of Swords - Tyrion III

"No," their father said. "With the war. Varys."
The eunuch smiled a silken smile. "I have such delicious tidings for you all, my lords. Yesterday at dawn our ~brave Lord Randyll caught Robett Glover outside Duskendale and trapped him against the sea. Losses were heavy on both sides, but in the end our loyal men prevailed. Ser Helman Tallhart is reported dead, with a thousand others. Robett Glover leads the survivors back toward Harrenhal in bloody disarray, little dreaming he will find valiant Ser Gregor and his stalwarts athwart his path."~

A Storm of Swords - Tyrion I

"Until Lord Redwyne brings his fleet up, we lack the ships to assail Dragonstone. It makes no matter. Stannis Baratheon's sun set on the Blackwater. ~As for Stark, the boy is still in the west, but a large force of northmen under Helman Tallhart and Robett Glover are descending toward Duskendale. I've sent Lord Tarly to meet them, while Ser Gregor drives up the kingsroad to cut off their retreat.~ Tallhart and Glover will be caught between them, with a third of Stark's strength."

A Storm of Swords - Catelyn IV

When they brought him word of the battle at Duskendale, where ~Lord Randyll Tarly had shattered Robett Glover and Ser Helman Tallhart,~ he might have been expected to rage. Instead he'd stared in dumb disbelief and said, "Duskendale, on the narrow sea? Why would they go to Duskendale?" He'd shook his head, bewildered. "A third of my foot, lost for Duskendale?"
"The ironmen have my castle and now the Lannisters hold my brother," Galbart Glover said, in a voice thick with despair. Robett Glover had survived the battle, but had been captured near the kingsroad not long after.

A Feast for Crows - Brienne II

Lord Randyll Tarly had commanded Joffrey's army, made up of westermen and stormlanders and knights from the Reach. Those men of his who had died here had been carried back inside the walls, to rest in heroes' tombs beneath the septs of Duskendale. The northern dead, far more numerous, were buried in a common grave beside the sea. Above the cairn that marked their resting place, the victors had raised a rough-hewn wooden marker. HERE LIE THE WOLVES was all it said. Brienne stopped beside it and said a silent prayer for them, and for Catelyn Stark and her son Robb and all the men who'd died with them as well.



Analysis

Firstly we start with the obvious comparison. Tarly lets Robert escape when Mace otherwise very nearly won the war. Given another chance, Randyll pins his enemy against the sea and plans to not let a man escape. Having somewhat surrounded the opponent on known land, with reinforcements (Clegane) behind him, he still manages to suffer heavy casualties, and the target (XXXX) escapes.
What a colossal mistake. The only good news is he intercepted enough of the force that it seems no ravens got sent off showing exactly what happened, as if one message got back, the whole red wedding could have been undone.
Now prior posts have analyzed duskendale about allowing paths of retreat, and number of losses, but I think there are three key takeaways
1) The stark contrast between this and his tactics at Ashford
2) The fact that he failed to capture the host and Gregor Clegane had to clean up the mess
3) The fact he suffered heavy losses when by all rights he had every advantage (and still failed to capture the army)
Interestingly, the message that gets to Robb is that Tarly shattered glover. The actual message from Varys is only 1000 were killed, with Tallhart. Now its difficult to say how many foot there were, but it’s not unreasonable to assume that 1000 is less than to around half the force. Clegane captures Glover in the aftermath (thankfully), and Robb gets the report that Tarly shattered the force, when in actuality a good chunk of it was Clegane.
As a sidenote- this is indicative that Clegane actually isn’t a bad commander, and in turn this makes the fact that Edmure Tully threw him back more impressive.
We also don’t hear of any captives other than the ones taken by Clegane. It appears Tarly is putting men to the sword (SEE EARLIER).
Now before we get into conspiracy theories, we see Glover in ADWD conspiring with Madderly to help the starks and Stannis, so it seems this was not some cunning scheme where he secretly got himself captured.
Interestingly, the graves Brienne sees seem to indicate a crushing victory for Tarly, like the one described by Robb. This however is at odds with the report of Varys, and the fact Clegane had to mop up the leftover army. Now there are a few possibilities for this. Varys could be wrong/lying, heavy losses is being thrown around as a relative term (but that seems suspect), or the total of Tarly dead and Clegane’s role is being hidden. The last seems the most likely, Robb hears of a crushing defeat led by Tarly not Clegane (which we know is at least partially false), the dead he kills don’t add up, and there’s no mention of Clegane whom definitely did some of the work.
Also even assuming the whole situation is true and Tarly killed men at a 2/1 ratio, this assumes there are 500 heroes tombs under the septs at Duskendale. Simply put, there may not be that many. The whole aftermath stinks of a coverup. Tarly is getting Cleganes credit (and interestingly, it’s around now that Tywin decides not to give Clegane to oberyn).
Finally we get to the tinfoily bit. Helman garrisoned with Walder Frey to make sure he kept peace. Of the two lords, Helman is arguably more problematic, he knows more of Frey habits (when Tywin is scheming a betrayal) and his nephew is a possible hornwood claimant (cough Roose cough). If there was a conspiracy to kill one and ransom the other – I can see a world where Talhart is the one to be killed. In all reality though, this is a bit too ambitious, and in reality one just died and one escaped – without some super scheme that Tarly was involved in.
So in summary – once again Tarly fails his mission. At best, he bloodies an out of position army whilst taking heavy casualties, with his reinforcements on the way, and half the army breaks free (admittedly into Clegane). This is not a great display of prowess. We also know its possible to capture these men as hostages, as Clegane successfully does so – and Tarly fails to once again. Now it’s not catastrophic as the Northerners are bleeding men and trading troops tit for tat is beneficial, but the battle itself (the thing Randyll is in charge of) is highly unimpressive. The strategic victory goes to Tywin, whom in truth entrusts it as much to Gregor Clegane as to Tarly. As it so happens, Clegane delivers and Tarly doesn’t.


A summary as a commander

Talk about failing upwards
· Charging ahead, he is able to turn a crushing win into an indecisive one which ultimately leads to Roberts Rebellion succeeding
· He gives counsel to Renly about the sun when renly knows that the sheer strength of his cavalry makes the issue moot. Renly all but ignores him.
· He doesn’t appear to do much during the battle of the blackwater
· He manages to mess up essentially an ambush at Duskendale despite reinforcements being on the way
· As a result of the 4 above points, he is given, lands, titles, honors and a position on the small council.
Upon actually reviewing his achievements and each individual battle, I’ve 180’d on Tarly. George RR Martin does a great job building him up, and having everyone describe him as a great commander, but actually unpacking his battles, he looks pretty underwhelming. The most important battle he won was Ashford, but that was a strategic catastrophe which otherwise could have potentially let Mace Tyrell win the war. Afterwards he’s carefully managed, with Renly outright dismissing him, Mace keeping the key positions of command in other people’s hands and Tywin going so far as to dispatch a trusted force behind him in the event he fails again – WHICH HE DOES.


Politicks, Loyalties and Conspiracies

There’s a lot to get through so I’m not going to source everything here. Rather, I’ll list dot points, and we will be collecting everything under theories. In time it may be worth sourcing this all, but for now, I want to get something out – so it’ll be shortform
· Historically house is blackfyre
· Renly Sworn NOT STANNIS
· Joined at bitterbridge to Renly
· Shadowbaby and killing others
· VIEWS ON MAESTERS
· Killing Stannis supporters at bitterbridge
· Saving Brienne
· Helping Brienne / Bewilderment
· Views on Women and Strongmen
· Sam, Maesters, the Marches and Strength
· Maidenpool Rulership
· Renown amonst common men
· Downplaying the Golden Company
· Bravosi Debts
· Taking the QUEEN ahead of Mace Tyrell

Theoreis Stemming off Data

The Blackfyre Theory

Let’s assume that Randyll supported the Blackfyres because his house traditionally were Blackfyre Loyalists. This is a little thin on evidence, but quite a few of his actions also support this, lending some credence to the theory
1) He swore to Renly not Stannis.
a. Stannis was 17 or 18 when he held storms end. He is approximately 13 years older than Renly, making Renly 5 at the time. This means that during Roberts Rebellion, for all relevant purposes, Renly was a non-participant, whilst Stannis actively fought against the dragons. If Randyll is a dragon supporter, his repulsion at joining Stannis is apparent.
b. In fact, he goes as far as to kill stannis supporters at bitterbridge to consolidate the reach forces. This is interesting as it contrasts stannis whom takes pains to not kill the karstarks to a man once he realizes their treason.
2) He downplays the golden company
a. At the end of AFWC, Randyll is downplaying the golden company as much as he can. If we assume he is pro-dragon, this gives time for the blackfyre cause to swell, as he delays Kevan Lannister to the best of his ability
3) He hates the Maesters
a. Between the Grand Maester Conspiracy [LINK], lady Dustin’s general hatred of Maesters and Marwyn’s comments about Maesters and Dragons, it seems credible that dragon supporters may have cause to mistrust Maesters. Indeed, we get hints of this from Doran, and a general mistrust of Maesters by some of the lesser lords.
i. "I would need a bucket, with this pain. Thank you, but no. I want my wits about me. I'll have no more need of you tonight."
b. This explains also why he is so determined Sam will not become a Maester and why he drives him to the nights watch. If he is a loyalist, he’s never going to let a member of his family into an enemy order. If Sam is given any sort of free reign in a role other than lord, he’s going to end up a Maester (indeed even at the nights watch he ends up there, despite his protests and fears of his fathers wroth).
4) Do we actually see any trouble in the marches. I don’t think we do and it’s only STANNIS who fears dorne through the marches, not Tarly or Tyrell. In fact, this area is left undefended when they march on the blackwater.
a. I have a sub-theory that despite complaining a lot, we don’t see any real antagonism between Dorne and the reach throughout the series, just some loud complaining that makes us think of antagonism. Oberyn hints at this to Tyrion.
5) Killing Florents
a. Florents have ties to Stannis
b. Florents are Tyrell rivals
c. Florents instantly defect to stannis. Note they were set aside by dragons over highgarden
d. Their protests were denied by King Aegon I, perhaps because the Florents had fought House Targaryen when the Tyrells did not.
e. https://www.reddit.com/asoiaf/comments/3tr6gx/spoilers_all_house_of_the_week_house_florent/
i. Theories florents Green
6) This is of course also consistent with him racing Ahead of Mace Tyrell’s army and having the Tyrell queen taken into his personal custody. Unfortunately, this bodes badly for our lovely doe-eyed Margery. Oh well.
7) ~If it were up to me, I would send them all to the Night's Watch, and Connington with them. The Wall is where such scum belong."~ He’s setting it up so the only legitimate claimant of JonCon’s lands is in fact, JonCon. Obviously a new lord can be appointed, but this suggested move adds legitimacy to the blackfyre cause, removing the heir apparent and putting JonCon back in his ancestral lands without a real challenger.

1) The ‘show of strength / toxic masculinity theory’
a. This theory has to do with Tarly appearing competent millirarily rather than being competent. He doles harsh justice and havy discipline, which in some ways hides his lackluster results as a commander. I should note this is the weakest of the three theories, but it sort of feeds into the other two.
b. This would be indicative of his hatred for Sam. The moment the ‘veil’ of masculinity and strength is lifted, his actual achievements are lackluster
c. After ashford he appears much more brutal than before. We have no indication he was brutal pre Ashford, and post ashford he’s executing enemies, cornering and murdering northmen to a man (as best he can at least) and doling out harsher justice than his peers
d. Every character who speaks of Tarly speaks of his millirary accolades. I think his ‘larger than life’ persona has played at least a part in this, and Tarly looks the part as the veteran commander.
e. I ought to note this theory doesn’t stop Tarly from playing the game of thrones, it just suggests he isn’t an exceptional tactical commander. Logistically, he has always been with the winning side as a vassal, he’s been able to spin every battle to gain honors and accolades, and he has a knack for being in the right place at the right time (declaring for renly early, being in the van at ashford etc.)
f. All that aside, this theory also doesn’t stop Tarly from being a jerk. Given how he acts to Sam and both towards and around Brienne, we are naturally inclined to mislike him as a harsh leader.
2) Not as dumb as he looks theory
a. He’s taken the queen into his personal Custody. We literally heard from Renly back in book 1 – he who holds the XXXX holds the crown. With all the chaos in the recent books, it’s easy to miss, but this is a huge move in the game of thrones. The Tyrells do not have the queen. Tarly does.
b. As far as I can tell, he’s never been at real risk in a battle since Ashford. He had backup and numbers at duskendale, a massive host at the blackwater, The Siege of Storms End was just a great big preservation of army by Mace whilst Roberts rebellion raged, and the Siege on Stannis was totally lopsided but for magic shadow-baby.
c. Dorne does not seem to have acted against him once nor demanded concessions. [CHECK]. For a lord in the Dornish Marches which have been tumultuous for years, this is somewhat of a big deal. He also seems to be unafraid of moving his forced forward – we have no indication he left levies to protect himself from Dorne, hinting that he wasn’t afraid of Dorne misbehaving (even if only to harry border towns, a bit like Bolton grabbing up the hornwood lands).
d. He sucks up to the bravosi Banker when all the debts are being called in. We have this picture of this strong, just, military man, but the banker scene shows he’s not just a sword arm, and he knows when to suck up. This is important as it shows he is at least considering the wider world and the future outside of the battles, as opposed to a certain dwarf whom never actually meets the bankers.
e. He has turned a bunch of mediocre achievements into being renowned as the greatest soldier in the realm. By all rights, Stannis and Robb are much better commanders (with the caveat that Robb was only good tactically). If we want to get nasty, Mace Tyrell has only won crushing victories – with the exception of ashford (messed up by Tarly) and storms end (where he lost no troops in a rebellion that depleted most of the realm).
i. The most competent appearing thing he said was to not charge into the sun, which was largely irrelevant when plated heavy cavalry is charging into boiled leather. As Renly said to Stannis, his force wouldn’t survive first impact, so this whole sun business is a bit silly.
ii. Arguably the most competent thing was executing all the soldiers considering going over to Stannis, but I’m not sure if this is truly competent or just brutality – Stannis did not do the same with the Karstarks in a similar position.
f. He’s bypassed succession laws. By getting rid of Sam he has set himself up with his chosen heir. Look at the thorny knot Tywin tied himself with Tyrion, whom still arguably is the rightful heir to Castelry Rock (which he made full use of with the Second Suns). We know Maesters can be kicked out of the order (see our favourite necromancer), and can be used to play with succession (Aemon is a good example, albeit he said no) and I don’t really see Sam as a priest.
i. There’s actually a good question as to whether he would have killed Sam. The gods hate kinslayers, and the threat sufficed. If we assume tarly isn’t an idiot, he would have realized the threat likely sufficient.
g. Given how he sets himself up at Maidenpool, its hinted that the Maidenpool land is part of his reward for the blackwater. We never hear of exactly ‘what’ Tarly’s reward is, except in the aftermath he’s patrolling Duskendale (still seemingly with house Rykker),, Maidenpool and the kings road, and seems to be setting himself up in Maidenpool for the long haul. In AFFC, Tarly’s heir is married off to Eleanor Mooton (the seeming heiress to maidenpool) and Tommen pardons Moonton. Maidenpool is a major port in the world of Ice and Fire, which would make it a fine reward[[1]](#_ftn1).
1.

Other key takeaways

BRIENNE THING

A Feast for Crows - Brienne III

Randyll Tarly solved the mystery the day he sent two of his men-at-arms to summon her to his pavilion. His young son Dickon had overheard four knights laughing as they saddled up their horses, and had told his lord father what they said.

… "The gods made men to fight, and women to bear children," said Randyll Tarly. "A woman's war is in the birthing bed."
Someone was coming down the cellar steps. Brienne pushed her wine aside as a ragged, scrawny, sharp-faced man with dirty brown hair stepped into the Goose. He gave the Tyroshi sailors a quick look and Brienne a longer one, then went up to the plank. "Wine," he said, "and none o' your horse piss in it, thank'e."

JUSTICE THING


Battle of the Blackwater – a step Sideways



In short
Randyll Tarly is a shrewd Blackfyre loyalist who now has custody of the queen, a position on the small council and whom is not considered a political threat. He’s not half the commander he’s made out to be, probably has anti-maester sentiment and is possibly friendly with Doran Martell. And he has an army.
This has been quite a ride and I’m sure I got many details wrong so let’s end on a high note. Given all this, I expect Randyll to sacrifice Margery and prove ser pounce’s lineage to the age of conquest. Tommen will blindly stamp a document marrying himself to the cat, the white walkers will be appeased (their problem is only humans), and everyone lives happily ever after except for Danerys who dies.
Maidenpool
https://preview.redd.it/4gfx1jxsbd1d1.png?width=217&format=png&auto=webp&s=a6c648fe2853a80f249aeae5546a21b38b4123e9

submitted by Orange_Menace1 to asoiaf [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:25 OnlyActivity6585 My GF’s parents are Jehovah’s Witnesses

For context, I'm 16 and so is my significant other. We both go to the same high school.
I’ve been developing this relationship with one of the most amazing people. She is great and understands me in the most nuanced way, she is just everything I’ve wanted and more. She and I started talking back in February and she eventually told me she had feelings and this had been the case since September (when I was in another relationship). To be frank, I didn’t believe I had the slightest chance of being with her because she was stunning, knock out beautiful. I told her during that discussion that I wasn’t ready for a relationship but I would be in the future, especially because I had just ended a relationship that ended rather nasty way. She and I continued to talk for a few more months, and our feelings towards one another became very strong and eventually, we started dating which we were both very happy about. She had mentioned this before in previous conversations and it was becoming a more prominent issue as our relationship progressed, she was never allowed outside of the house, had no after-school activities, barely any time to hang out with her very close friends, and especially no time to hang out with a guy, she could practically do nothing outside of her own home. She eventually mentioned to me that her parents are Jehovah's Witnesses which was worrying for a plethora of reasons and explained the total lockdown she was on. In addition to this, we were dating in secret because of her parent's strict “no dating” rule. It got to the point where I’d only see her in school and we would just call and text which I didn’t mind but I wanted to spend time with her, in person. As summer approaches, her and I both concluded that we wouldn’t be able to hang out for the entire duration of our summer break (3 months). We came to a mutual understanding that we should just be friends so we didn’t have to try to make a romantic relationship work while being completely online. She has had several conversations with her parents about dating me and dating in general and they have always responded with a very strong “NO”. We both still have feelings for one another but it’s hard not being able to see each other for such a long period. We might get back together in the future if tensions loosen with her parents but that's not definite. We still want to update one another on our lives how we're doing mentally, and what we're doing creatively but it hurts going back to square one, just being a friend and acting like our relationship didn't even happen. I love her like I've never loved anyone before and I want this to work. I don't want to lose her and don't think she wants to lose me either.
submitted by OnlyActivity6585 to teenagers [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:23 roofralf Indian encounters

Hello, I am a researcher at an institution in the West, and I have had a series of astonishing encounters with people from India. To be clear, I do not aim to generalize the entire Indian population; however, I have yet to meet someone from India who acts differently.
Here is the tale:
  1. We had a conference last year. One of the panel members, a head of a very prominent intergovernmental institution with a global scale, has a solid record and a long list of publications. After the conference, a person from India who has no publications and no research experience condescendingly called her "an idiot."
  2. The research environment, like other work environments, is fraught with deadlines and tasks. We manage tasks and deliver like other professionals. In this context, a person from India decided to inform my boss, who is not her boss, that I have been struggling without my knowledge. The said Indian person did not tell me any of this for almost three weeks. She also did not bother to inquire how I have been in those span of time. When I confronted her about the violations and betrayal, there was no remorse or apology at breaching my privacy. Instead, she claimed that I am cynical of her intent.
  3. Another person from India plagiarized a colleague's writing.
  4. I recently met an Indian man who claimed expertise on certain subject matters, would not let me speak, and lectured me on mansplaining. The funny thing is, when I looked at his research publications, which could have been an indicator of expertise, I was appalled to find that he has none. The audacity.
  5. An Indian woman was in a relationship with a senior researcher. She cheated on him in his house, and he found the evidence (i.e. used cond**). When he confronted her, she lied. They broke up, and he asked her to leave his house. She eventually found a new place, but the faucet was broken. Despite the betrayal and lies, she chose to call him and asked for help.
There are plenty of stories about this behavior among Indians, linking it to a lack of education; however, I must point out that all these Indians are highly educated. Culture would be a lame excuse too unless a lack of awareness is simply, well, a normative practice. So, what gives?
submitted by roofralf to offmychest [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:21 BGodInspired Running with Purpose: What Does Hebrews 12:1-2 Teach Us About Life's Race?

https://bgodinspired.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/1716117084.png

Running the Race of Faith: Embracing the Journey with Hebrews 12:1-2

Are you ready for an uplifting deep-dive into one of the most energizing passages in the Bible? Let’s uncover the treasures hidden within Hebrews 12:1-2, and understand how these verses can act as your spiritual compass navigating the ups and downs of life’s journey. Grab your running shoes, and let’s embark on this race of faith together!

Discovering the Essence of Hebrews 12:1-2

The book of Hebrews stands as a magnificent literary bridge between the Old and New Testaments, and Hebrews 12:1-2 shines brightly as a cornerstone of encouragement and inspiration. This passage urges us to visualize our spiritual journey as a race marked out for us, encouraging us to run with perseverance, shedding any weights or sins that hold us back, all while keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, the pioneer, and perfecter of faith.

Unpacking the Power of Perseverance and Faith

Understanding Hebrews 12:1-2 in our daily lives requires us to break down its components and discover how each element can nourish our spiritual journey:

Incorporating Hebrews 12:1-2 Into Your Daily Life

How can we apply the powerful message of Hebrews 12:1-2 in our everyday lives? It starts with intentionality:
  1. Begin each day by reflecting on the ‘cloud of witnesses,’ drawing inspiration from their faith and resilience.
  2. Identify and address anything that may be hindering your spiritual growth.
  3. Embrace life’s challenges with a determined heart, knowing that you are running a race designed for you by God.
  4. Keep your focus on Jesus, allowing His example to guide your thoughts, decisions, and actions.

Join the Race of Faith

Hebrews 12:1-2 is not just a passage; it’s a rallying call to each of us, inviting us to join the race of faith with enthusiasm and dedication. By shedding what holds us back and fixing our eyes on Jesus, we are empowered to run this race with perseverance, surrounded by a great ‘cloud of witnesses.’
Are you ready to take up the challenge? Let the words of Hebrews 12:1-2 be your guide as you navigate the intricacies of faith, inspiring you to run with endurance the race marked out for you. Let’s keep moving forward, always aiming for that finish line, with our eyes locked on the prize—Jesus, our Savior, and Champion.
Let’s embrace this journey together! Dive deep into the Word, let it shape your heart and actions. And remember, when the race feels long or the path seems daunting, look up to Jesus, draw on His strength, and keep pressing forward. The reward is worth every step.
If you want to want to research more Bible Answers on your own, please try our Bible Answers GPT. It’s easy to get lost in the interesting responses you’ll find… every search is like a new treasure hunt 🙂
Source =
submitted by BGodInspired to BGodInspired [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:20 roofralf Indian encounters

Hello, I am a researcher at an institution in the West, and I have had a series of astonishing encounters with people from India. To be clear, I do not aim to generalize the entire Indian population; however, I have yet to meet someone from India who acts differently.
Here is the tale:
  1. We had a conference last year. One of the panel members, a head of a very prominent intergovernmental institution with a global scale, has a solid record and a long list of publications. After the conference, a person from India who has no publications and no research experience condescendingly called her "an idiot."
  2. The research environment, like other work environments, is fraught with deadlines and tasks. We manage tasks and deliver like other professionals. In this context, a person from India decided to inform my boss, who is not her boss, that I have been struggling without my knowledge. The said Indian person did not tell me any of this for almost three weeks. She also did not bother to inquire how I have been in those span of time. When I confronted her about the violations and betrayal, there was no remorse or apology at breaching my privacy. Instead, she claimed that I am cynical of her intent.
  3. Another person from India plagiarized a colleague's writing.
  4. I recently met an Indian man who claimed expertise on certain subject matters, would not let me speak, and lectured me on mansplaining. The funny thing is, when I looked at his research publications, which could have been an indicator of expertise, I was appalled to find that he has none. The audacity.
  5. An Indian woman was in a relationship with a senior researcher. She cheated on him in his house, and he found the evidence (i.e. used cond**). When he confronted her, she lied. They broke up, and he asked her to leave his house. She eventually found a new place, but the faucet was broken. Despite the betrayal and lies, she chose to call him and asked for help.
There are plenty of stories about this behavior among Indians, linking it to a lack of education; however, I must point out that all these Indians are highly educated. Culture would be a lame excuse too unless a lack of awareness is simply, well, a normative practice. So, what gives?
submitted by roofralf to AskACountry [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:19 SoSolidKerry Journey so far of herniated disc (including what's worked for me)

Hello, one and all. Been lurking for a while. Thought I'd share my experience thus far. I'm a 45-year-old female who herniated L4/L5 in early January. I'm, therefore, four months, two weeks post-injury.
It's a mild-ish protrusion pressing on nerves and causing sciatica. I have never had back pain. I'm a Brit. I plan to get over this conservatively and do not intend to have any injections or surgery. Note that I have some trouble lifting my left foot and walking as normal on that side, but everything is functional. I am able to lift my toes and heels, and I have full sensation everywhere.
From my scan, disc height is compromised only a tiny bit (I have juicy discs). I have a very wide and spacious nerve canal. No other issues aside from a transitional disc below (born with more bone than disc at L5/S1, very common, and I'm luckily in the "won't cause pain" camp) and a slight bulging disc above, which isn't pressing on anything. The transitional disc is likely to have led to this injury. But moving house finally pushed me over the edge, lifting things the wrong way.

The first month

The first month was obviously painful. Terrible sleep; sciatica was awful (burning in my left calf and left foot with some right foot tingling), and I was very stiff and leaning forward most mornings. Doing McKenzie cobras in those early days helped massively. And amazingly, I kept up with walking and averaged 15,000 steps daily. It wasn't painful. But I was taking Ibuprofen and paracetamol. I believe a lot of my sciatica has been caused by inflammation.
Back then, I was seeing a physio and doing some basic pelvic tilts, bridges, calf stretches, cat/camels, and – like I mentioned – cobra poses. Otherwise, I would mostly lie on the floor, on my front, resting. Or walking outdoors. It would take me three hours just to pluck up the courage to shower. And I could only stand under the hot water for less than a minute before lying on the floor again. Sitting was impossible. I couldn't use the car. I couldn't sleep on my left side. I would crawl down the stairs each morning after barely any sleep and go straight to the drugs. I couldn't make breakfast or do anything. But as each day wore on, I'd become less stiff and more upright and be able to walk for miles.

In search of a silver bullet

I tried everything in February and March. Acupuncture, physio, McKenzie stuff... They put me on Amitriptyline initially, but I hated it. And so they gave me Gabapentin. This helped with sleep and dialled down the pain significantly (I was on 300mg three times a day). I vaguely remember a crazy day when I walked into my local town, sat, and had cake and tea with an old friend. Still to this day, I can't figure out how! Boy, those drugs worked!
By the end of March, I discovered Egoscue and began posture therapy. I did it religiously for six weeks and even began working with a therapist. But it wasn't helping. And I didn't see any improvements. I also decided to come off the Gabapentin during this time (I would later go back on it, as I was in a lot of pain), as I felt totally off my face and hated it.
Around February, I also discovered Dr Stuart McGill. And read his excellent book, Back Mechanic. I learnt about spine hygiene and loads of other helpful stuff. Gradually, little by little, turning in bed got easier (brace that core) and getting up out of bed and off the toilet became pain-free, too. But I just wasn't seeing massive improvement.

Finding the right approach

That's when I decided to see a Master Clinician under McGill. Wow. It was the best money I had ever spent, and I'd spent more on acupuncture!
He went through my scan, was the only one to tell me about the transitional disc, and asked what I'd been doing thus far. He recommended that I give the posture therapy and the walking a break, just for a few weeks, to see if we could calm the inflammation down. And so I did. I rested. I mostly lay on the floor on my front or back and only moved around the house. No outdoor walking. No McKenzie cobra poses (which I've since discovered do more harm than good long-term and adopt a gentler version McGill recommends and says is just as effective). That was back in early April. And following his advice alone? I saw immediate improvements. In fact, the very next day, I was pain-free for seven hours. I couldn't believe it – just by resting.
I only rested for three weeks, and then I decided to try walking outdoors again. My gosh. The difference after the break! I could barely do ten minutes around the block without pain. It was too much. (I could never walk first thing before either – only later on in the day. But it would usually be fine.) But my back specialist wanted me to try walking three times a day, starting small. So, I persisted. He told me to stop if walking made things worse, though. Thankfully, it's been three weeks since I began walking outdoors again, and I'm making great progress. I can now get up from bed and walk immediately (I had to give it an hour before I ventured out of the house). And I can walk for half an hour, too. Three times a day. I find that a morning walk is crucial. I am stiff and a little sore at first, but it eases. And sets me up for the day. I also enjoy two or three hours of no pain when returning home.

Finally seeing progress

Since early April, the improvements have been gradual but almost daily. They're so small sometimes that you hardly notice them! It's only when you look back that you realise how far you've come!
In the six weeks since I worked with my back specialist, I have seen the constant burning sciatica in my foot and calf mostly disappear. Initially, I had a lot of fuzzing. That has now subsided, and since then, it's gone from fuzzing to cold water feelings and tingling... with occasional burning again (mostly only in the top of my calf), but that goes quickly. Now and again, I'll get a random ten minutes of a burning foot again, but it soon disappears.
A few weeks ago, I started getting new sharp and painful jolts in my left hip. That's apparently blood returning to the nerves. For the last week, I have barely had any foot or calf issues—I mostly have sharp pulling nerve pain on my left kneecap and similar symptoms in my hip. Only in the last month have I occasionally started to get a bruised feeling in my lumbar spine.
The morning stiffness and leaning forward? Gone. I am bolt-upright every morning and feel pretty good, posture-wise. Funny enough, since I quit doing the posture therapy. Go figure!
My glutes are very tight and constantly holding themselves. I'm trying to teach them to relax, but it's tough, as I know they're protecting themselves. I've been using heat to relax them—just a microwaved wheat sack some mornings.
Under a week ago, I came off Gabapentin. And I also quit Ibuprofen about five weeks ago. The only meds I take now are paracetamol – just one dose in the middle of the night to calm my (good) right hip that gets sore from only sleeping on that side.

How far I've come

Here I am, four months and two weeks post-injury. I still can't sit on a soft surface (I use a special sciatica cushion on a dining chair), I can't sit in a vehicle for the same reason, I can't sleep on my left side, and I still have some mild foot drop but am walking better.
On a positive note, the pain symptoms are changing daily, which is apparently a good sign. I am starting to feel some back pain for the first time, too. Centralisation is perhaps occurring. Instead of lying on the floor for several hours before breakfast, I now find better relief in standing and moving around. I can also sit for short spurts on my dining chair first thing in the morning, whereas before, I'd only be able to do that from midday.
I'm sleeping better. Six or seven hours a night. It's a tad broken, but I feel rested. And when I get up in the morning? Whereas before, my left leg and foot would go crazy with fuzzing and burning, now? Nothing. A mild tingling some mornings, but otherwise, fine.
I spend more of my days moving around, standing, walking, and occasionally sitting than "resetting" on the floor. And when I do feel sciatica getting worse, a brief rest on the floor makes the pain go away. It's never 100 per cent pain-free, you understand. It's mildly uncomfortable and feels like it could get worse at any moment, but I'm good.
And I'm finding that if I overdo it, any flare-up I might have is brief and easily overcome. Whereas before, it might've been five days to recover, now it's an hour resting on the floor.
If I stand at my standing desk for too long, my lumbar ache begins. It's not painful. It just feels weird—bruised, almost unstable, like I can feel it stacked. I lie down, reset, and then I'm good to go.

What has really helped

I now know what to do to avoid triggering pain. I can tie my shoes with my foot on a bench and lunge in. I have a shoe horn – a game-changer! I also use a strapped-on ice pack when I need to calm my nerves. Less so these days. And heat on my ass when the glutes feel too tight. I only take paracetamol in the middle of the night to help me sleep. Oh, and I find going to bed with an ice pack on sometimes really helps!
The meds definitely helped in those painful early days; but I need feedback. Once I felt I could, I stopped taking everything.
During this time, I also hired a cleaner (fortnightly) and a gardener. I've not stopped working (I have no choice; I am a freelancer). And I have no kids. So I don't have to commute anywhere. I stay at home and rest, and the only time I leave the house is to walk. I also invested in a new mattress, a game changer (John Ryan Artisan Luxury, if anyone wants to know). I am very lucky in all of these respects, I know.
The walking really helps – but it was only when I stopped, rested, and allowed by body to heal that I noticed a difference in my symptoms.

What's next?

I'm nowhere near ready to begin strength training. And I've avoided all physio and stretching of late. I am just doing what my back specialist recommends. Some mild cat/camels to get the blood flowing, walking, resting. I take magnesium, turmeric, vitamins D and B12, omega-3. I try to avoid sugar and alcohol (I don't always succeed on that one). I'm not ready for longer walks yet. And there's no way I could take a bath, sit up in bed, or sit on the sofa.
But I am healing. This has been quite the journey, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm excited for the next phase of recovery: rehab! And boy, will I be taking it seriously—for the rest of my life! It's down to us, after all. No one can do it for us.
There are some big life events coming up that I know I'm not ready for. When they get closer, if I'm still not better, I will call my GP and ask for advice. Ibuprofen might be brought out again. Perhaps even something stronger. But if I'm one of the lucky ones, I should be seeing further progress in the coming weeks and months.
I rate my ability to function normally when I can sleep on my left side again, drive my car and when I can sit on the sofa, too! I won't mind if there is some residual pain and weakness. As long as I can function without having the crux of a floor and yoga mat nearby.
I am more than happy to answer any questions. I hope this has helped someone. It's certainly helped me to get it all on screen. And I wanted to thank this community for all I've learned this year. I hope you're not in too much pain.
submitted by SoSolidKerry to Sciatica [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:17 macarongrl98 Was supposed to have fun at this exhibit with my (25F) bf (23M) the other day but I hated every minute of it

Yesterday we went to a Dali exhibit together. I was excited and have been wanting to go for months and have studied art and art history in school and have been passionate about it, even about Dali, from a young age. He knows this. We’ve been together for a year and a half.
He’s a medical student and not artistically inclined. Which is fine, but did not excuse the way he acted. He immediately joked about the line being too long and needing a beer / whiskey just for sitting in line.
I really loved the exhibit and felt so emotional seeing all these pieces I’ve never seen before. He was being so annoying, going “I like this one” “I don’t like this one” or pointing at a drawing of a woman and being like “boobs!” He was acting like a 5 year old child. There was a VR experience and the whole time he was talking over it while I was trying to look and focus on the experience. I wanted to rip my hair out. It made me feel so icked out by him.
All around us were other couples having normal conversations about the art. I felt alone next to him.
After he asked me how did I like it and I was just like, honestly? I really would’ve rather went alone. He shrugged and said I guess we’re from different worlds.
I didn’t want to invite him to this exhibit because I know art isn’t his thing, but last night all the museums in our city were open late, and he was all like, don’t you want to go? And then he acted like I should be so grateful he agreed to go with me. I am going to break up with him (not just over this, but many other things that have been festering). Everything he’s done has been annoying me lately. I don’t expect my partner to be an art expert or connoisseur but just act with basic interest about things that deeply interest me, the same as I do for others.
The same thing happened last year in a national gallery in Greece, he only cared about paintings of historical figures and not really the others, and he didn’t silence his phone and it went off at top volume in this silent gallery (he has a pretty ridiculous ringtone) and the guards busted out laughing. I was laughing too, but it made me embarrassed asf. And he had only taken me to the national gallery to make it up to me because of a fight we had the night before over something he said. Now that im typing this out, I don’t understand why I’ve put up with this. Last night was really the final nail in the coffin of our relationship and made me fall out of love with him.
TLDR; boyfriend acted immature at an art exhibit and it gave me the complete ick.
submitted by macarongrl98 to relationships [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:13 Radiant-Bear4172 Controlled Burn [6]

the next chapter is here hope you enjoy! (no your not insane I posted it before but messed it up)
huge thanks to Objective-Farm-2560 for helping with my spelling and gramma and suggesting a few edits
[First]-[Previous]-[Next]
Memory Transcription Subject: Vaill, Venlil Rescue
Date [standardized human time]: November 29, 2136
The cattle pens of the humans were better than the Arxur's, but a pen they were nevertheless. I wanted to go outside and see the sun of my home but they wouldn't let me. They were no better than the Arxur.
Seeing Annek again was good. I was glad that she made it out of the raid that took me, but she had fallen for Andrew’s trickery. it was so obviously using her… I hoped I could make her see the truth. She was too pure for the likes of any predator.
They wouldn’t even let me use a holopad, but that was to be expected from these predators, they were trying to hide what they had done to my planet. Their taint has undoubtedly spread everywhere by now.
The room that they had me in was a private room, the walls were white with a rather high ceiling, and the vents were too high to climb into in this room. I wondered if my rank in the guild was the reason I got my own room?
Annek hadn’t left my side since she found out it was me. It was nice to talk again, even if that human was around.
Had she even told it what my job was, or how high-ranking I was in that job?
“Annek.. D-did you tell your predator what I do?” I asked nervously, afraid that she'd been tricked into revealing the threat I posed to the humans.
“I thought it best not too, considering how the Exterminators are toward the humans. I want you both to like one another.”
“D-do you really t-think that I w-would ever like a predator?”
“You promised me that you would give him a chance!” she cried, sounding hurt.
I never meant to hurt her.
“A-and I have given it a chance.”
“Vaill, you have blocked him at every turn,” she sighed in sadness. “I know it's hard to trust them but they haven’t done anything to hurt us. In fact the only people hurt during the exchange program were humans. They are the one who freed you and the other cattle!”
Of course she would think that. They are playing the long game to make us think we are safe, all they wanted was more cattle.
“W-why wouldn’t I? They are p-predators,” I pointed out to her.
It was then Andrew walked into the room, walking over to Annek and kneeling next to her. I was scared it was going to hurt her. It hadn’t been here for a few claws, which was a bit relieving. But that dread had returned as it walked in, making my instincts flare up.
I need to rid the world of this predator as soon as I can.
“Andrew! Where have you been?” Annek threw herself around the human, wrapping it in a hug.
Why would she do that? Why would anyone ever hug a predator? I didn’t understand what had gotten into her. Before I was taken she never would have acted like this.
I can’t fail her. I have to help her see the truth, these humans can’t be trusted.
“Sorry Annek, I was just trying to give Vaill some space to come to terms with everything, seeing as so much has changed in the time he's been gone.” The way it spoke almost seemed sincere. I could see how someone uneducated on predators could believe that they meant well.
“D-do you really expect me t-to believe that?” I antagonized. I was not going to fail for its tricks.
“Vaill, what do I have to do to prove that I mean no harm to you?” The predator asked, determined to get me to let my guard down. “Annek has told you, we have spent the last 5 months together and I've done nothing toward her.”
It took a few steps to me, making my fur puff out in fear again. I pushed back on the bed trying to make any distance.
Why did I show it my weakness again? I was lucky with the Arxur but this human… I don't think I’ll be as lucky.
“W-why are you getting closer to me?”
He stopped as I spoke, realizing that his ruse of sympathy wouldn't work. “Vaill, I’m not out to get you, you’re Annek’s friend, so as far as I'm concerned you're mine as well.”
“I pulled some strings and I've gotten you a holopad,” and it held out a holopad, just like it said.
Why..? Why would it give me anything..? It has nothing to gain from it… but it’s doing it anyway?? I don’t understand.. I can’t have been wrong about humans. I saw what they did! It has to be putting on a show for Annek, that’s the only reason it would do this.
I hastily took it from its paws and looked through the news, and what I saw was devastating. There were hundreds of thousands of these predators on Venlil Prime. My home was truly lost to these fiends. I typed in ‘Exterminators’ to see what I could find, and to my relief I saw that we were still putting up some sort of fight with our offices trying to repel this predator incursion. Not everyone had lost their minds and been lured. Thank the stars.
“Vaill, a lot has changed, but we are not your enemy.” Since Annek hadn’t told it about my job, I thought that I might as well get it over with now so it would stop trying to extend this false paw of friendship.
“P-predator, has A-Annek told you what I do for a job?”
The deceitful monster looked confused by the question. “No, she hasn’t. Why do you ask?”
“I’m-I’m an exterminator,” I revealed. “A-a prestige one at that.”
Andrew was somehow undeterred by the revelation, not scared in the slightest. “Vaill I see what you're trying to do, you're not gonna shake me off that easily. I want you to get better, I don't care what you think of me or my people.”
Why does its words seem sincere? I can’t be wrong about them, they are evil. But how is it showing empathy? IT'S A BLOODTHIRSTY MONSTER HOW CAN IT IMITATE EMPATHY SO WELL?!
“I.. I d-don't get why you t-treat your cattle so well and honey us with fake e-empathy...” I whimpered, not wanting to believe its lies.
Annek looked a mix of angry and disappointed. “VAILL! Stop talking to Andrew like that, he has done nothing but try to be nice to you!” she spoke righteously.
Had what I said really upset Annek that much? I never wanted to upset her, but I can't let her be blind to the predator's threat. I can’t fail, not again.
“Annek he’s not gonna change in one day,” Andrew said with far too much patience for a predator. “Oh er, I mean paw.”
“I know but… I wish he would see how sweet you are” she sighed and… nuzzled up to it??
She is so blind to its lies. It's like she can’t be convinced to come back to the light.. I don’t get it. Why does she like it? Why does she care about it? I don’t understand how. She was my best friend. I have to save her.
“Vaill, please give him a proper chance,” she said, almost looking as if she was going to cry. “He won’t hurt you or anyone else, you have to trust me.”
“H-how would you k-know it's not just waiting for a chance to jump you?” I retorted. I had to make her see the truth.
“Please, just trust me, there is nothing malicious about Andrew,” she tried again, desperate to convince me of her point of view.
Why was she so adamant that it would do nothing? She had done nothing but defend it. It made no sense.
“H-how do you know that this tainted p-predator isn’t w-waiting until you let your guard d-down,” I replied. I wasn’t going to let her, my only friend, left get herself killed. “Annek p-please, see the obvious truth!”
Her tail wrapped around Andrews wrist as she glared at me. If looks could kill, I’d be dead. What had it done to convince her that it meant no harm? What had happened?
“Vaill!” Annek shouted, sounding furious. Why? All I had done was try to expose its lies.
Andrew placed a hand on her shoulder, contaminating her with his vile taint. “Annek, he's been through a lot, don't get upset with him.”
Why was it acting so level headed...? It was a predator, and no predator was capable of such logic and reasoning.
No I can’t be wrong about them.. I can’t be...
It felt like I was losing Annek… she’s the last thing I had.. I couldn’t fail her... I CAN’T. But she won’t see the truth…
My eyes started to feel wet as tears slipped out. I buried my eyes in my paws and softly sobbed, as I heard two sets of pawsteps walking towards me. Wordlessly I felt Annek wrap her arm around me.. And… another set of arms? Strong, warm and furless?
I knew whose arms it was. My instincts screamed for me to get away but… it felt good? Anneks arms and its gentle embrace was comforting. This was so wrong and so right.
Maybe I was wrong… No, it’s a predator! I can’t be wrong!
…Can I?
[First]-[Previous]-[Next]
submitted by Radiant-Bear4172 to NatureofPredators [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:11 kitofsnitz Taken from CS website. Can anyone explain? Do they really need an Australian address to sell online?

Taken from CS website. Can anyone explain? Do they really need an Australian address to sell online? submitted by kitofsnitz to gme_meltdown [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:09 wanbincell Confronting the Cancer Care Plight: Using First Principles to Navigate Your Cancer Journey

[Preface]()

As we journey through life, the specter of cancer looms large, presenting a formidable challenge that many of us may eventually face. When confronted with cancer, our priorities shift dramatically, with life itself swiftly rising to the forefront of our concerns, relegating all else to the background. Our immediate focus narrows to combating this disease. While many adhere strictly to their doctor’s recommendations, selecting treatments reputed for their efficacy and cost-effectiveness, this path is not the sole option. It is crucial to recognize that, although contemporary cancer treatments might appear limited, this does not necessarily reflect on the reliability of medical advice. On the contrary, I believe the reason for the inadequacy in cancer treatment levels is that the entire cancer treatment system does not aim to address the fundamental issues of cancer.
Globally, the data reveals a startling uniformity in cancer treatment technologies across various age groups and nations, suggesting that advancements in systems, economies, and technologies have not significantly enhanced the value delivered to cancer patients. Moreover, there is a pervasive trend of overtreatment within the healthcare system dedicated to cancer care. Standardized clinical guidelines, while providing uniform treatment options, restrict the choices available to both physicians and patients, diminishing the patients' involvement in their own treatment decisions. Consequently, the treatment plans prescribed, though based on these guidelines, may not always align with the patients' long-term interests, particularly in terms of sustaining a quality life. Furthermore, the emphasis on early detection and treatment can also act as a catalyst for overtreatment.
Facing the cancer care plight, as a cancer patient, wouldn't you want to reclaim your voice and break free from this predicament?
Inspired by SpaceX’s revolutionary approach to rocket launch technology, which utilizes reusable components for enhanced cost-effectiveness, we can adopt a similar mindset in cancer care. This approach, known as first principles thinking, championed by Elon Musk, challenges us to discard conventional dependencies on analogies, precedents, and conventional wisdom. Instead, it involves deconstructing complex concepts, problems, or beliefs to their most fundamental components and rigorously examining the core of the issues.
Our lives are governed by various principles, shaped by our values, perceptions, belief systems, and reasoning methods. These principles influence our opinions and allow our brains to employ previously learned conclusions as shortcuts in thinking. Often, we adhere to these principles without questioning their foundational assumptions. While these principles may have been valid at their inception, questioning their relevance today necessitates that we overturn outdated theories and forge new realities for ourselves.
First principles thinking encourages us to embrace a new mindset, recognizing when traditional methods become obsolete. This shift in thinking eschews conventional wisdom, cuts through dogma, and challenges our own beliefs. While first principles thinking and traditional reductionism both emphasize deconstructing problems into their elemental parts, they differ in their applications and impacts. First principles thinking focuses on controlled, thoughtful examination at a foundational level, whereas reductionism often reduces problems to a microscopic scale. This distinction allows first principles thinking to provide more profound and innovative solutions to complex issues like cancer treatment, enabling us not only to better understand the nature of cancer but potentially to uncover more effective treatments.
In the realm of modern medicine, which often remains entrenched in a reductionist approach, applying first principles thinking is crucial. For cancer, this means thinking at the cellular rather than the molecular level, which is often the focus of cutting-edge research in molecular biology or genetics. By reevaluating the causes and processes of cancer through first principles and developing treatment strategies at the cellular level, we can utilize mathematical models to ensure logical completeness and accuracy, provided the input data and model settings are correct.
In this book, I introduce a life model that simplifies life into a mathematical framework, helping us pinpoint the primary factors and processes impacting life. By applying the life model, we can perceive cancer as a manifestation of aging, encapsulating the essence and treatment methods of the disease. I believe the life model exemplifies a precise application of first principles in disease management.
We address cancer using a first principles approach, following a structured process: identifying the issue, breaking it down, analyzing its fundamental components, reassembling the information, and using life models as tools for reasoning. We've further developed a cancer model consistent with these principles, leading us to the best strategies for combating cancer—a comprehensive framework for evaluating cancer therapies. Our optimal cancer treatment plan includes combinations or legal variations of approved therapies, in compliance with existing medical regulations. We discuss experimental treatments only in the context of potential future advancements in cancer care. Through this book, I aim to encourage cancer patients to actively engage in their treatment decisions and assist them in making the best choices under current conditions.
submitted by wanbincell to MyXcancer [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:08 Dangerous-Interest68 Constantly anxious..

It's already been five years since I've decided to move back to the motherland and just in the blink of an eye, my life has changed. In retrospect, I can't believe what I've done and my stupidity had cost me in the long run since I've acted out of impulse. I got caught stealing at work. Despite how the managers had confronted me about it, I denied everything until the police and the actual detective had gotten involved with the situation. I was well aware that the cameras were there and first, I kept telling myself that it's common sense not to take the money out of the counter since there are cameras in the store and if I got caught, they can use CCTV for proof/evidence if needed. Again, I've acted out of impulse since financially, I wasn't doing too well and that I haven't eaten for 3~4 days. I could had relied on my savings until I've gotten paid but unfortunately, I had to send money to a family member in the states since it was an emergency. All of this for merely $23? How stupid can you get? Not only did it cost you your job but you're literally back to square one. It's been nearly a week since I've worked there and I fucked it all up. I did meet with the detective yesterday for interrogation/questions and I didn't deny anything of what I've done. I don't know what's going to happen from here but obviously, he is going to keep me updated. This anxiety has been killing me for days now and the only thing that is keeping me distracted/sane is by working out(strictly calisthenics/sprints since I need to renew my gym membership) and social media. I can't believe this..
submitted by Dangerous-Interest68 to depression [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:07 Outrageous-Lychee272 Is it possible to feel lonely/too independent in a relationship? (26F and BF is 31M)

Feeling a little sad this weekend despite having quite a nice time. Yesterday I took myself out for a nice lunch, did a bit of shopping and enjoyed a nice chat with the staff at the pet store. Today I left the house at 10am to get my nails done. I am currently walking around aimlessly in a county park which I rather enjoy.
I’m usually very good at keeping myself entertained. I’m just feeling a bit overwhelmed this weekend as I said goodbye to a friend with cancer on Friday. Personally I would clear my entire weekend schedule and prioritise them. We both went into town yesterday. Him to go to the board game care with his friends and me to run errands.
I’ve decided to stop putting things I enjoy on hold.If I have to attend events alone or get an extra ticket and invite someone from Reddit social I will. I have a lot of my plate currently career wise and in my personal life but will eventually make time to be more social.I don’t have any friends close by as I moved 2hrs away to live with my bf.
My bf is on the spectrum specifically Asperger’s which I guess affects his social behaviour however I still think he’s being incredibly selfish at times. I don’t love him any less but I’m done begging for temporary affection. He doesn’t think there’s an issue unless I’m outwardly sad. I’m a grown woman and I refuse to put on a show. I know it’s not malicious and he is single track minded but it still feels callous.
I have my own room and am getting my own pet. I will continue living my life and growing. If I outgrow him or he doesn’t make changes things might need to end. I have too much to deal with right now and unless he takes an initiative I’m not going to.Im actually in threapy and a huge fan of communication and I assure you I’ve brought this up to him countless times and even suggested couples threapy.
He lost his job and his self esteem is suffering I know but I still feel neglected. I’m exhausted and stressed with the financial burden. He’s too busy gaming, working on board game related projects and his own things. I know he’s not doing well mentally as his self care is lacking but the fact I am not someone or spending time with me does not bring him happiness breaks my heart.
Things in the relationship have never been equal and he’s always been a little self centred being brought up as a sheltered mamas boy but the disconnect is getting worse. He’s immobilised by normal downs in life and the tiniest inconvenience will put him off things. I’m hoping he gets back to being the lovable teddy bear I fell in love with. However he is an adult and if he does not want to change his life I cannot force him. If PC gaming, board games and being a shut in is more important than helping himself eg. Threapy or medication.
My final act of effort will be asking my therapist for a recommendation for him and getting a session booked in. If he wants to continue I will cover the costs. He Ubers to the local board game cafe both ways, pays the entrance fees and often has a meal which costs more than the average threapy session weekly. He cannot stick his head in the sand and bottle up his feelings/withdraw from everything.
I refuse to go above and beyond to spoon feed a man who won’t put in the effort to help himself. I’m just so tired.
Sorry didn’t mean for the post to get as long as it did just ended up waffling and also ended up lost in the park.
TLDR: How do I cope with feeling lonely in my relationship/ any general advice on my situation welcomed.
submitted by Outrageous-Lychee272 to relationships [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:04 doodoobear666 Wah

Ughhhh i really thought the way in my last post would really last a little bit longer but it did not.
Don’t get me wrong I’m still pretty positive and pushing but lifes stressors just fucking blow major chunks dude.
Everything is making me angry, every person that makes me angry i get the ideations. Its always the same body part/s i focus on.
My clients are driving me up a wall. I have to fly across the US to Texas for a graduation party and wedding. I haven’t even booked my tickets and I’m supposed to leave in two days😭
Man all i see is literal liquid red everywhere. I’m terrified to go home because my grandpa gets violent everytime i do something he doesn’t like. Like lets say i get long acrylic nails, he’ll grab my hand’s until they hurt while he lectures me on them. I am a 21 year old woman dude i am grown😭
A few years back he beat tf out of me for coming out as gay to my grandma, since then I’ve forgotten it for my grandmas sake as she is the last tie i have to my dead mom.
I got my lips injected i have blonde extensions i look like dolly fuckin parton man. I look like a whore…thats literally what i am and i have no patience for my grandpas bs.
I’m scared we’re gonna fight again and hes gonna attempt to beat me and I’m actually gonna loose it this time. I find myself wishing they would both just d13 so i didn’t have to deal with their bs. Even tho i love my grandma more than anything in the world.
I’m just scared as shit of him and myself. I cant exactly not stay with them because my grandmas only child is dead and she also has bpd and will freak if I dont stay with her (unless her husband kicks my ass in front of her then ig she understands it then) so i cant really explain this to a pushing 80 year old woman all this stuff.
Ugh this shit sucks i wish i had healthy coping mechanisms i literally just am gonna be high the entire time which tbh will prolly get me whooped too but at least ill be too sedated to do something dangerous so in the words of ric flair woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!
submitted by doodoobear666 to homicidalrecovery [link] [comments]


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