I choose this platform to say sorry to a person I hurt 15 years ago. I know we have our own lives today but I would like to take the courage to say sorry. For me to also move on and validate the feelings I had this moment. I'm not a good writer but I want to share my story. Do you guys experienced having no memory of a certain situation in your life? It's like you remember the person but not fully apprehend what "really" happened to both of you? Seems like there is a missing puzzle in the big picture? It happened to me and realized everything after all the embarrasing things I did. I was like acting the victim before and not knowing I am to blame after all. Year 2023 when I came back in my country, I'm working overseas by the way. As I went home, I declutter my personal things and there I saw some letters wayback 15years ago. Letters during our retreat activity college days. I read all their sweet messages and I stumbled to read a letter written by my crush. After reading his short and sweet letter I'm sobbing. Tears rolling down my cheeks and asking myself, what was my reaction when I read his letter before? Like what did I do?!! Did I read this? I'm thinking so hard searching for answers in my head about his letter but got no answer. It was so vague to me that I cannot find the answer I'm looking for in my mind and in my memory. All memories and emotions were bleak during that specific time. Throughout the day, all I'm thinking about was his letter. Thoughts like, yeah, I do have a crush on him during college days and it is too impossible that I disregarded that letter. I'm thinking crazy things already about his letter yet I cannot remember what really happened. I contacted my close friend who's been with me since college. She's like my sister from another mother who knows everything since college days. I started the convo sending her the letter he wrote for me and instantly she recognize who wrote it. She even ask me what did I do when I read the letter before or did I even bother to read the letter? I told her I cannot remember what I did before but one thing that's clear to me was our friendship seemed to drift away even before the graduation day. That's why I was'nt able to contact him after graduation day till up to present. Thinking, I was just the girl who just learned that the guy I like before, liked me back after reading the letter, my friend give me a silly suggestion of giving him a PM. Yes, we are classmates, friends during those days. He was on my list of friends in my socmedia yet after all this years, I never sent him a PM. I just wanted to say hi but I'm too embarassed to do it. Overthinking stuff and crazy ideas crossing in my mind. Then all of a sudden I saw in my screen 11:11am, immediately type hi and hit send button. Feeling embarassed that I pm-ed him first at the same time doubting if he still knows me, I'm too anxious in wanting to have or not to have a reply from him that time. Morning the next day upon checking my phone I got a reply from him, 👍 at 5:55am. Being weirdo again all I did was to talk to myself early that morning to give him a reply or not. I'm thorn of doing so or what. Then I just decided to give him a message of asking how is he, introducing myself, hope he's doing okay, message him because of blah, blah then wishin him luck and good day. Ugh, still embarassed. I thought it will be the end of our convo but he replied back saying he's doing okay. He remember me saying I'm his classmate and I'm happy that he's doing good now in his new career. He also ask how I'm doing and what do I do these days. We exchange 4-5 convo until he stop responding. I'm like yeah, that's it. I'm sure he's busy and I understand his profession demands time but I also want myself not to expect anything in REALITY. I'm being too emotional as of the moment that all I got to think was him and his letter creating imaginary things between us. I'm a rational person so as I pacify myself and calm down the thoughts in my mind, I decided to write everything in my journal. As I write down my thoughts, the question of how's and why's, slowly I remember everything that happened 15 years ago. I clearly remember the thoughts I had, the decisions I made and how I ghosted him. Circa 2009. 4th year college. I have a guy friend who's my classmate during 3rd year since we were block section. He's also my block groupmate. Maybe we became close because we were together most of the times. He's tall, lanky, sweet, caring, funny and brainy. He's the type of guy who only bring a notebook in the room, I never saw him with a bag in normal schedule of classes but hey he always pass. And as a cheapskate college girl, I used to take down notes and do everything as I can to not spend extra penny. I become aware of him being sweet to me by borrowing my notes saying she can understand my handwriting, sitting beside me on classes where sitting position is not required, going to library doing group activities, walking side by side in school aisle and seeing him giving me a sweet smile. Getting him caught staring at me then he will just smile mirorring his eyes. It seems like normal things right? But I can sense there is something behind those small gestures. I also shared this to my friend that I can sense there is something about him but he never confirm anything at all. He was never even bothered when he knew one of my girl friends told him she had a crush on him. I got a little jealous during that time, I even got jealous on her friends that were beauties during college days. He was a friendly guy but knows how to be a gentleman. Since, no admission of feelings in his part we continued to be good friends, him still giving the same care and treatment to me. I can't remember if it was 2nd trimester when we had our retreat activity. It was months also before our graduation day and then after that will have our in-house review for upcoming board examination. Everyone is excited to attend the retreat because we can give a rest on our tired minds. We rented a good place with a perfect weather during that time. During our last day, the last task given to us is write a letter to each person in your group. He was my groupmate during the retreat. We can read the letter after the activity or if we have time to spare. I decided to read mine when I got home. Me and him are still good during that time. When I arrived home, I started reading their letter, I read his letter last. His letter goes like this,
A_____, " I have met you on a cloudy Monday and now you never knew how much I loved the rain." Your a gentle child and very sincere. You are very concern to all the people around you and thats what make you different from others. You can carry things up and I know you can make it. Goodluck and Godbless. I am just on yourside waiting for you to tap me and call my name.
I'm shocked yet relieved knowing that what he's doing towards me is confirmed in his letter. It might be a indirect confirmation but I think it still says so. I'm happy to know he's not just a friend caring for me but someone special who took care of me all this time. But as my happiness took over me, that feeling of anxiousness and cowardice envelops my entire body. Confessing his feelings, then now, what? What will happen in our friendship? How do I face him, as I am shy girl before? If I tell him I like him too, what will happen to us? Graduation day is in the corner, inhouse review is giving us pressure, licensure examination will happen in next few months and I need to focus, to study to pass the exam. Those were my concerns at that time. So, I made up my mind. Without giving him any answer, without telling him what I have in my mind, without him knowing what I really wanted to say despite the concerns I had in mind. I let him go without telling him what I feel towards him that time. Following days at school, I started avoiding him. I dare not to look at him directly in his eyes. I never got to talk to him about his letter. And as days passes by giving him same treatment and distance, I saw him once looking at me, his eyes saying like giving up. From then on, our friendship drifted off. I never got to talk to him in our graduation day, even in succeding events after our licensure exam. I did pass my licensure, he also did. I'm not expecting he will talk to me or greet me if ever we crossed our path again. He was my first love. But I never give him the chance. There might be a future for our relationship but I never gave him a chance. To my lovecrush, I am sorry for ghosting you, for not giving you a chance, and for leaving you hanging-up. I know I'm a big coward, selfish, self centered and faint hearted person when it comes to you. Confessing and telling you what my heart wants before will NOT/NEVER change anything now. But I wanted to say this for me to let go of the feelings that I still have for you. Lovecrush, I like you too. I care for you too. I did become a scaredy cat before telling you my true feelings are but know that after all those days knowing you like me too, I always think of you. The heartbeak I give to myself and to you, left me no choice but to suppress the pain and convince myself to forget the painful choice I made. Thank you for letting me feel how special I am in my own way. Thank you for being my green flag.❤️ Thank you for being warm, caring, thoughtful and loving friend.🥰 Now, I will never ever forget the memories we shared before even if it brings joy and pain. It is now my treasure. Thank you so much lovecrush. You will always be my first love and first heartache.🙂 I know you can make it in life. You're such a kind hearted soul. Wishin you all the best in life! Takecare as always. Godbless!🙏❤️

Just wanted to add my process time seeing everyone else helped me out greatly…
I started my application July, did my class July 28 to 29. Then my live fire the very next week. I then got all the information needed for my application which I got done by August 18, I also called the licensing department and got June 2024 as my fingerprint date. I had a review of application with the folks at Pioneers where they arranged the paperwork and advised me to keep calling to get a sooner date which I did every other day for a week and got Feb 2nd.
Fast forward to April I received a later stating my date to attend court will be May 7th.
I then received a call the 2 days before stating that they have to reschedule to the following week the 15th to meet with Judge Williams.
He asked basic questions like Why do you want a pistol permit?
Do you know where is permitted to carry ?
Asked… if your at a stop light a guy uses a baseball bat to break my back window what do you do ?
Then asked how would you store your firearm?
I was then approved and was told the wait time is about a month for my permit.

Introduction
Muslims believe the Quran, the holy book of Islam itself is not just a religious book for guidance but also the literal word of god i.e. Allah itself. In everyday conversations, you will hear Muslims call it Kalamullah (Word of God), not in the Christian sense where the Word is Jesus and God but actual sayings, sentences, and words uttered by god himself and compiled into a single book by human hands. While Muslims are proud of their holy book being the literal words of god sent down to all of mankind, there are a few problems with that mainly concerning Islam's doctrinal theology and its core beliefs.
Disclaimer and Notes
Now, before I start, a disclaimer. The issue of the Quran being god's word or not has been one of the most pretentious and divided issues in the Muslim community. Because of this issue, multiple sects (considered deviant and heretical today) popped up in the early years of Islam's history leading to multiple debates, condemnations, and even inquisitions for those that were against the majority-held view in history. So to make it easy considering Islam has tons of historical sects, all of whom held widely different views than modern-day Islam when it comes to the Quran's states as the word of god (or not), this post is aimed at Ashari, Maturidi and Ahlul Hadith/Athari aqeedah sects who make up the majority of Muslims today, collectively considered to be under the umbrella of Ahlul Sunnah Wal Jema'ah (Literally meaning "The People of the Prophet's Tradition and Consensus" or to make it easier to understand "The Followers of the Prophet's Teachings and the Righteous Community"). This term is commonly understood in Islam as those who follow the true and righteous path in Islam which according to the hadiths, out of 73 deviant sects, only 1 (the above I already mention) will be on the correct spiritual path.
Why do I say this problem is akin to the Trinity problem in Christianity? Both are key problems that form the basis of the entire religion, not just for an individual believer but also for the scholars who dabble in religious sciences. Both the Quran and Trinity make up the core fundamental teachings upon which other teachings are established and expanded further. Without these key concepts, the entire premise of both religions (Islam and Christianity) would fall apart within a matter of seconds. Both issues are also hotly debated even to this day. As I mentioned before, the issue of the Quran's creation or non-creation was an important issue that occupied the minds of early-century Muslim scholars and thinkers, to the point schisms and breakaways from the main branch started to emerge. The same thing happened in Christianity with the Trinity which led to excommunication, the Arian controversy, and multiple individual distinct sects, all of whom have a different understanding of what the Trinity is.
Last, I would also like to mention that considering the Trinity has been severely criticized by non-Christians alike as proof of Christianity's falsehood and internal contradictions, then the same should be said with Islam's problem of the Quran's status. However, unlike in Islam, Christianity continued to debate up to the present day and even adopted Greek philosophical concepts to better explain away the Trinity and the relationship between each Divine Person of the Trinity. In Islam, the opposite occurred. Those who used Greek philosophy and rhetoric were condemned as either falling into falsehood or corrupting the religion by introducing pagan concepts. Ironically, the most condemned bunch of the Muslim sects I'll talk about below, the Mutazilites were the ones who most used philosophy which led to their rejection of the Quran's non-createdness.
Due to the decline of the Mutazilite sect, the rise of more conservative movements, and the criticism of Aristotelian philosophical ideas by Al-Ghazali (Note, he wasn't against philosophy, he was against philosophical ideas that went against Islam like the eternity of the world and denying bodily resurrection in the afterlife), theological discussions and debates surrounding the question faded away. Even now, most Muslims consider the issue "solved" and simply adopt one of the three main positions. Unsurprisingly, while the West and Christianity continued adopting new ideas, this means the Muslim positions lacked much substance and arguments seen in Christianity with Greek and Neo-Platonist ideas which in turn, means there are tons of problems with their positions, (which is the whole point of the post)
Now, with that out of the way, let's begin.
How Have Muslims Historically Responded to this Problem?
There are two answers to the question of the Quran's status. One, to affirm that it is the literal word of god from Allah Himself which existed with him since eternity or to affirm it is a created being just like every other creature and human planet earth. The second view doesn't mean that the Quran is simply the work of man, quite the opposite. Rather, it posits that the Quran still holds religious significance as Islam's holy book and is still the Word of God but it was created at a later time by God, not existing eternally with god before the creation of everything. In the second view, the Quran still holds religious significance for praying, guidance, and the basis for Islam, only that it is of a lower status than god himself, being a creation of god that was created at a certain time.
The second view is considered invalid and rejected by all major sects of Islam in the modern era (Ashari, Maturidi, Athari) as a heretical belief that the Mutazilites (The Withdrawers) held. I'm not going to go into who they are, what is their history, or what are their beliefs (you can google it yourself). Just know these are the guys who believe the Quran was a creation of god and were condemned by pretty much every Islamic group and sect from their beginning all the way up to the present modern day. This is one the only issues where every Islamic sect agrees with each other in condemning this belief, be it Ashari, Maturidi, or Athari. Thus, the second option then is 100% of the table for most Muslims, unless they want to affirm holding beliefs of a heretical group that died out 1000 years ago. I don't think any Muslim will dare to affirm Mutazilite beliefs for fear of ridicule and committing major sins, so there's much here to discuss. For the sake of brevity, I will address the second view since the one even Muslims will deny and reject. After that, I'll address the Second View.
The Second View
But for the sake of argument, I'll assume some rare brave Mutazilite Muslim wants to give it a try. Now, here are some of my questions for you. If the Quran is a creation of god and not the literal Word of God before time immemorial, what is the Quran's relationship with god? You believe these are still words from Allah that help mankind to arrive at the truth and Islam yet at the same you also believe that these were created at a time later than god. How can something that is both speech from god and also created by god himself exist simultaneously at the same time? Anything that is created at a later time means it's a creation, a contingent object that depends on an external creator. It can't be part of god because god is eternal, atemporal, necessary, and independent of everything and anything. If it were god or contained some part of god inside of it, then this is no different than Jesus and the Son of God in Christianity where it contains both a human and godly nature, so does that mean you now believe the Quran to be both god and creation? Just like the Christians who you condemn as a false corrupted religion? This is the First Problem you must face, that be affirming it is both from god and not god, you are throwing yourself into the same pit as Christianity with a dual nature which is already a false religion. I like to call people who affirm this stance "Dualists".
The Second Problem "dualists" face is that this nullifies the Quran's honorific status in Islam, which goes against what the majority of the Muslim world believes in. For Dualists, what is the Quran's honorific and spiritual status in Islam now? We've all seen Muslim riots and protests against the burning or stepping on the Quran by non-Muslims around the world. A man burns or rips up the Quran and the entire Muslim world goes into a frenzy. In Islam, simply placing the Quran on the floor is considered disrespectful and sinful. In the majority of sects today, the Quran must be honored and respected 24/7 partly due to the fact Muslims believe it to be the literal Word. But for Dualists, what is your stance and reason for continuing to respect the Quran? Considering you no longer believe the Quran to be the actual Word, can non-Muslims now vandalize, rip apart, step on, or place the Quran on the floor?? Would you have any problem with it? It's no longer the Word itself but a creation of god. Sure, you might ask others to "respect other religions and beliefs" but aside from this, what else do you have?? Is simply putting a religious book on the floor disrespecting other religions? What makes your holy book now any different from the Jewish and Christian perspectives on their religious books? They don't go into a frenzy every time Bibles are burned or disrespected. Will you do the same thing?
The Third Problem since it's a created thing, wouldn't this also mean that at some point in the future, the Quran no longer exists? That the Quran is finite and will at some point cease to exist? Wouldn't this mean at some point, Islam itself becomes useless because the number one source for everything, the Quran no longer exists? The Quran will cease to exist if it were created, when it happens, will the meaning of the verses and Muslim understanding built up over the centuries also cease to exist? Tafsirs, Fiqh, and Tajwid all suddenly become useless and void of any meaning because the backbone of Islam, the Quran no longer exists. What about the Muslim understanding of what Allah is? Isn't that detrimental should the Quran cease to exist? The best outcome is that Muslims still retain the knowledge but Islam becomes spineless without a religious book and the worst outcome is the complete disintegration of Islam as everything built upon the Quran, now becomes useless. It would mean the complete death of Islam as a major Abrahamic religion.
Next, what about during the Hour, when everything in the heavens and on the Earth will be destroyed and no longer exist? Muslims believe that when the Hour arrives, everything will be destroyed. Every human, child, animal, plant, planet, universe, devil, and angel will die inevitably. Only god remains. Due to this, according to Dualists, will the Quran experience the same fate? All of its verses and Surahs destroyed by god himself. Now I know Muslims, even those of other sects believe the Quran will disappear bit by bit before the Hour as a sign of the impending doom and apocalypse. However, other Muslims believe that yes, the Quran will disappear but the verses themselves remain preserved with god i.e. Allah since these are the literal words of god himself. In a sense, the verses suddenly don't exist, they return back to god.
TLDR, the Dualist Mutazilite view implies a contradiction where the Quran is both God and not God at the same time, it nullifies the Quran's holy status and the divine meaning of the verses, and last, it means the Quran is finite and will cease to exist at some point in the future.
Now, onto the Ashari, Maturidi and Athari sects,
The First View (The Majority)
These three are the most prominent and widely held doctrinal sects in the current Muslim population. I will be splitting the next sections into two sections, Ashari-Maturidi (since both are quite similar and considered a single unified school of thought by Muslim scholars) and the Athari school.
Ashari-Maturidi
The Asharis and Maturidis believe the Quran and its verses to be the literal Word of God itself, with Allah since eternity before time however they believe the book form of the Quran (mushaf), the one which every Muslim holds and reads is of man-made origin. In other words, the verses, sentences, letters, and meaning of the text are from god himself while the cover, paper, ink, writing, and publishing are from mankind. The Ash'ari creed makes a point of difference between the content of the Quran and the physical manifestation of it (in speech or as pages in a book).
The Main Problem with this argument as said by Atharis and Mutazilites is that this strips the Quran of its spiritual and holy essence in Islam. If the real divine aspect of the Quran that came from god itself are the verses and meaning of it only, then should we burn every last Quran in the world, it wouldn't be a problem. After all, the divine part still exists as it is from and with god himself, only the earthly worldly portions of it get destroyed. Why's that a problem? I mean what is the problem spiritually concerning Islam's doctrinal theology itself? What's the problem with destroying the cover or vandalizing the writing of it? It's not from god, it's man-made. The effect of this would be enormous.
This means now non-Muslims and Islamaphobes can now burn, rip, tear apart, step on, vandalize, and desecrate the Quran because they are only destroying the part that is not divine. Would Asharis or Maturidis agree to this? Is now destroying the Quran not a major sin but actually allowed? The true essence of the Quran i.e. the part that is truly divine remains preserved and exists since humans were created and will continue to exist long after everything has died and withered away. The vandalization and desecration of it does not affect the Quran because the true divine verses and meaning remain preserved. This problem is similar to the Second Problem with the Mutazilite belief, it nullifies and strips away the Quran's holy status and honorific place among the Muslim community. If it isn't truly god's divine word, what's the problem if it gets destroyed, wet, or burned?
Heck, I've heard this same argument from other sects, claiming and accusing the Ashari are just Mutazilites in disguise because their main stance of the Quran's identity revolves back to the Mutazilite position where the Quran is a creation of god. One of the main accusations against the Ashari sect is that it's just a rehash version of Mutazilite or Jahmiyyah theology (I don't have time to explain what this is right now, better if you look it up yourselves) due to similarities in doctrine and also because Imam Ashari, the founder was once a Mutazilite himself (not helping the Ashari case) but Asharis claim he renounced all Mutazilite theology and returned back to the true correct path. In this case, should the objection above against the Ashari-Maturidi position succeed, then it would help critics a lot against Asharism.
The Second Problem with holding the Ashari position is that this resembles the idolatry of Hinduism and Paganism or at least, is slipping into idolatry practice. If they claim the Speech of God is contained within the letters, pages, and ink of the Mushaf (the Quran's Uthmanic standardized codex), then how dare they believe the actions of humans can absorb and physicalize the Sacred Divine Speech of God, for Muslims believe god can never be limited by His creatures. This would also mean they believe the ink written on the Quran's pages is a physical intermediary, designed to encapsulate the Speech of God into a physical form, no different than the idols of Hindus and Pagans who believe their idols to be an intermediary or a worldly representation of the True Divine Nature.
Hindus don't claim they worship idols, rather they believe them to be ways to spiritually connect with the divine as a locus for prayer just like how Muslims consider the Kaaba as the direction for prayer, not an idol for worship or as a reminder for believers of the faith similar to how a photo of a spiritual leader is a sign of respect and a daily reminder every-day when you wake up. How is this different than believing the ink inside the Quran holds the truth or emulates the Divine Nature from the Ashari claim? Ashari Muslims affirm the Quran is still the Word of God just represented through a physical form, so how is this not idolatry? Believing that a physical human-made physical manifestation holds the Divine Speech so that followers of Islam can get closer to god?
This would be even worse than the Mutazilites, for committing idolatry whether intentionally or not is a major grave sin in Islam, to the point those that who commit it and do not repent back are considered as Kafir (infidels). If even they aren't committing idolatry and shirk (polytheism), another major sin in Islam, then at the very least, they believe that a divine part of God can be captured inside the ink and pen of writers as if they the Speech of God and the ink become one and the same, another reference to the Christian belief of God having both a Divine and Human Nature. Of course, Muslims and Ashari Muslims consider this to be heretical and blasphemous, but what's the difference between believing the Quran is both man-made and divine versus the Christological belief of Jesus being both God and Man?
The Third Problem with the Ashari answer that the Quran itself is created while the Speech of God isn't is where is the Speech of God then? Asharis can't answer that it is still in heaven for they also believe the Mushaf or Quran contains the Word and Speech of God. If they believe that it is still in heaven with god and not on earth, then what are they even reading every day? Clearly not the Speech of God if they claim it isn't with us now, perhaps an imperfect human copy of the divine Speech of God but that would mean the Quran is imperfect and the work of man, which would be affirming the Mutazilite position. So they can't claim it is both in the heavens and on the earth nor claim it is either in the heavens only or on the earth with mankind only.
I already explained they also can't say the Speech of God is contained inside the ink and letters of the Quran for that means the Divine Speech has become limited because of it. God in Islam can never be limited, nor can His creatures limit god. So if isn't option A, B, or C, where is the Holy Sacred Speech of God then? The Speech which is supposed to be the principle guiding force for all of mankind especially, Muslims. How can Asharis then claim they believe in the Quran as the revelation and Word of God sent down to Muhammad if they can't tell us where in their holy book, is the Speech of God itself? At worst, this means the Ashari belief entails the Quran isn't holy or divine thus eliminating Islam's entire main source and one of the 6 pillars of Iman (faith), and at best, reading the Quran isn't a holy act nor can be used as a book for guidance, for Muslims aren't reading the Word of God then. They are reading an imperfect fallible man-made copy of the Speech of God, not the true Divine Inspiration from Allah.
TLDR, the Ashari-Maturidi middle path that the Quran was uncreated and eternal, yet its ink and paper, individual letters and words were created strips the Quran has multiple problems, some may even go against what Islam stands for. It strips the Quran of its Divine Sacred Essence as the Word of God, at worse it may lead to shirk and idolatry akin to the Hindus and Pagans, and at best, Asharis can't point to us where the Word and Speech of God is in the Quran.
Athari/Ahlul Hadith
Now for the Atharis, they are strict literalists who believe the Quran and Allah's Speech both are uncreated unlike the Asharis/Maturidis who adopt a middle path, or the Mutazilite who outright claim the Quran was created, the extreme position.
The First Problem with the Athari position is pretty clear, if the Quran is the literal Word of God completely, then does that mean what Muslims are holding is a literal piece of God here on earth in the moral realm? Does that mean god is with us all the time? How can god, who Muslims consider as being transcendent be here on earth with mankind? If the Quran is the literal physical Speech of God and not just metaphorically or analogically, then does this mean the Speech of God exists on Earth? How can god be here on Earth? The Atharis believe literally that the Quran is the Speech of God, so unless they claim the Speech of God suddenly transformed into a physical object (which I'll address below), the Quran would be a god or at least have a piece of the divine essence of Allah.
This is no different than the Christian position where there exists a God in heaven and a God on Earth at the same time. As I already mentioned, Muslims consider the Christian position of a god on earth unacceptable yet when we look at their own views, we find (in the Athari case) a piece of god exists on earth. Allah still exists in the heavens, yet the Speech of God exists here in the Quran. Let's not even get into the issue of a transcendent god existing in the mortal physical realm, where the laws of physics govern meaning god would be limited in some capacity (which most Muslims would see as ridiculous)
The Second Problem is the relationship between the Quran (God's Speech) and God himself. Considering the Quran was revealed to Muhammad and sent down by Gabriel, how should we understand the Speech of God is here now? Do Atharis believe that the Speech of God suddenly separated from the main body when the Quran was revealed and sent down to earth? Or do Atharis believe the Quran is still the undivided Speech of God, in which case a part of god is literally on earth?
Or what about when the Quran was compiled in book form starting with Abu Bakr's reign and ending with Uthman's standardization? Should we take this to mean now not only does the Speech of God literally exist on earth but the Speech of God now has taken shape, molded into letters and words while compiled into a book equipped with paper pages and covers from front to back? If they want to deny these are from god i.e. the physical cover is man-made, then they would be subscribing to the Ashari-Maturidi doctrine of the middle path (which I already showed also has problems). If they want to take the other path and claim the Quran we have now is not the Word of God literally, then they would be subscribing to the heretical Mutazilite position which also, has tons of religious and doctrinal problems.
TLDR, the Athari literalist position invites more harm than good when it comes to answering the question of the Quran's uncreated nature. It would mean god is literally on earth, or a piece of god's divine essence is. Affirming that a piece of the Divine Essence exists here on earth with mankind would be something similar to the Christian belief that god exists both in the heavens and on earth (Father and Son). Other than that, it would also complicate the relationship between the Quran and God even more. If the Quran is the literal Word and Speech of God, how do Atharis explain the Quran's standardization into a single written book with ink, paper, and covers? Does it mean the Speech of God underwent a physical transformation?
Consequences
Islam posits the Quran to be the Word of God from Allah Himself, however how exactly does that work leads to massive problems within Islam's doctrinal framework. Muslims can't state the Quran is the true literal Speech of God otherwise they would be committing a blasphemous act by believing god is literally on earth with us at this very moment. They also can't deny it is the Speech of God for Islam considers the Quran to be the perfect Kalamullah (literally the Word of God). It is one of the core tenets of belief that Muslims believe the Quran to be the actual Words of God sent down to Muhammad as the last revelation. They also can't adopt a middle path like the Asharis-Maturidis because I've already shown that this just leaves the Quran inside a grey area, it's both the Word of God and also not the Word of God at the same time. Other problems are also relevant which I've already discussed above. Either the middle approach collapses into itself, becoming either one the extreme views, literal divine affirmation like the Atharis, or the extreme divine nullification like the Mutazilites.
Other religions don't have this problem. They do not believe Jesus or Moses were gifted the actual literal Words and Speech of God which existed since time immemorial. Christians believe the Bible was divinely authored by the Apostles of Jesus, where the Holy Spirit guides the writers of the Bible into writing down the true teachings of Jesus and Christianity. Christians don't believe the Bible's passages are the literal Speech of God which has existed with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as if affirming the Bible was also another Divine Person of the Trinity. No, only Muslims as far as I know affirm both their Holy Book contains the Speech of God which both exists on Earth and also with God up in heaven but that leaves them in a contradiction of whether to affirm the Quran is God Himself on Earth or the true Words of God are still up in heaven. After all, how can the Divine Nature which is uncorrupted and perfect exist in a world not perfect, but actually filled with sin, corruption, and spiritual pollution?
In the end, Muslims face a dilemma with regard to the Quran's Holy and Divine Nature. This a dilemma which after going through all the possible Muslim answers that have been given over the years, still fails to give us a proper satisfying answer.
Conclusion
All the responses and viewpoints of the major Islamic sects fail to answer the question, of whether the Quran is created or not. They tried to square a circle by trying to find a balance between affirming the Quran is the divine Word of God while at the same time not falling into a literalist interpretation where god is on Earth (as the Atharis do). However, all responses so far have failed to properly find the right solution, all either fall into extremities at both ends of the spectrum (Mutazilite and Athari) or tried to strike a balance, but only managed to kick the can down the road even further.
If Christianity has the Problem of the Trinity, a major fundamental question that still has philosophers and theologians scratching their heads trying to find an answer, then the Problem of the Quran's Nature is the Islamic version of it. The difference is while Christians continue to debate and argue about the Trinity's true nature, Muslim and Islamic scholars have relatively abandoned the debate, choosing to hold either one of the three major schools of thought. My personal opinion is this is an unfortunate situation, ever since the decline of philosophy in Islamic thought, Kalam and Falsafah (Islamic philosophy) have gained a bad reputation amongst Muslims as being a "gateway to blasphemy". Rarely you will find Muslim scholars in the modern era debate about this, let alone teach laymen Muslims about these topics.
At the very least, I hope my post can inspire future Muslims to look into this topic further, creating new fascinating answers and arguments that contribute to the Muslim and non-Muslim understanding of what Allah is in Islam.

I spend most of my waking hours thinking about dating... and how much I think it sucks. Not that it is necessarily a bad thing, I just dislike the fact that when dating we mostly have to pretend we're someone we're not. I haven't gone out much, but the few girls I went out with, I couldn't get past the second date. And possible reasons for that are I don't mince words, I am always 100% honest, not that I am in your face and point out a bad habit, saying "that's shit, you should totally change that bla bla" I am not judgmental, I am just open, maybe a bit too open.
I also hate the texting culture, can't we just have a nice conversation over a coffee, we'll get to know each other better because we can ascertain each other's characters more efficiently. When you text, you can write whatever, and there is no indication whether or not that person is lying to you, or lying to themselves, are they being careful, are they feeling insecure about telling you something, or... anything. You just don't know anything. You are completely in the dark. I wish people used texting, especially with people they barely know, as a brief introduction and as a means of communicating as to when and where should we hang out. Not texting just for the sake of it, because it's a safer option, whatever that means for different people, even though we live in buildings next to each other.
I am curious what other people think of this. Are there any differences in opinion between men and women or are there any cultural differences perhaps?

For the sheer fun of it, I went to Chat GPT with a creative writing assignment. For Figures of Speech prompts, I gave a free parameters, including the word length of 500-1000 words and the prompts for a few of the Fifty mentioned in the series.
I gave the AI creative license and let's just say, they're a long way off from replacing the better writers and I think it just makes it easier to do those lower level tasks and let's leave the creators a slightly higher level of skill to create actual tangible and engaging writing.
But here you go... hilarious how stuck it gets on certain terms and definitions.
These are in no particular order... separated by emojis that are totally unrelated to the storyline.
🫱🫱🫱🫱🫱🫱🫱🫱🫲🫲🫲🫲🫲🫲🫲🫲 Response to Prompt 4: Understatement
In the quaint town of Brooksville, where the extraordinary was often met with an indifferent shrug, something truly remarkable occurred. The residents, sipping coffee at the local diner or strolling along the cobblestone streets, would describe it as just another peculiar day. Little did they know that beneath the surface of their nonchalant existence, a cosmic event unfolded.
The morning sun cast its usual warm glow on Brooksville, with birds chirping in the background, creating an illusion of normalcy. However, the anomaly had already begun. Mrs. Higgins, the elderly librarian, dismissed it as a minor inconvenience, merely a glitch in the library's ancient computer system. Yet, every book cataloged within those ancient shelves had transformed into a portal, connecting readers to parallel universes with every turn of a page.
As I, a humble journalist for the local paper, stumbled upon this revelation, I couldn't help but marvel at the town's response—or lack thereof. "The library's having a bit of a moment," was the most anyone would acknowledge. It seemed the whole town collectively decided that this was, at most, a quirky hiccup.
For a thousand words, I delved into the understated reactions of the townsfolk, each encounter with a parallel universe bringing its own blend of confusion and nonchalance. As the portals expanded, revealing fantastical landscapes and alternate versions of Brooksville, the citizens maintained an impressive level of calm, as if interdimensional travel was a routine part of their daily lives.
The plot thickened when I discovered that the portals were a result of a mysterious artifact hidden within the library's archives. The mayor, sipping his coffee, remarked, "Well, that explains the strange noises in the basement." It became evident that the understatement of the situation was a defense mechanism, shielding the town from the cosmic chaos unfolding. 🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁 Response to Prompt 12: Juxtaposition
In the bustling metropolis of Neon City, skyscrapers touched the heavens, their dazzling lights reflecting off the sleek surfaces of futuristic cars. Yet, nestled within this urban jungle, an ancient relic stood defiantly—the Old Grove Park.
As I strolled through the city's concrete arteries, the juxtaposition between the modernity of Neon City and the timeless serenity of the park became increasingly apparent. The cacophony of traffic was replaced by the rustling of leaves and the distant laughter of children playing.
The central conflict emerged when the city council, embodying the epitome of order, proposed transforming the park into a technologically advanced hub. The juxtaposition intensified as architects discussed plans for holographic playgrounds and virtual reality gardens within the confines of the Old Grove Park.
Through a thousand words, I explored the clash of ideals, the struggle between progress and preservation. The ancient trees became silent witnesses to heated debates at town hall meetings, where environmentalists and tech enthusiasts engaged in a battle of words. The juxtaposition of the towering skyscrapers against the gnarled branches of the park's oldest tree mirrored the tension in Neon City's collective conscience. 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫 Response to Prompt 31: Epanalepsis
"What is the meaning of life?" The question echoed in my mind, a relentless epanalepsis that demanded exploration. As I embarked on this freewriting journey, the repetition of the existential inquiry became the rhythm of my introspection.
For a thousand words, I delved into the varied perspectives of individuals wrestling with the ultimate question. From philosophers contemplating the intricacies of existence to everyday people seeking purpose in mundane routines, the epanalepsis served as a constant reminder of the universal quest for meaning.
The narrative weaved through different characters and their unique experiences, creating a tapestry of reflections that echoed the complexities of human existence. The repetitive structure became a literary heartbeat, pulsating with the shared yearning for understanding amid the chaotic symphony of life. 🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔 Response to Prompt 27: Symbolism
In the quaint town of Willowbrook, the arrival of a single dove carried profound significance. Its graceful descent into the town square was a symbol, an omen that whispered of impending change. As a budding novelist with a penchant for symbolism, I couldn't resist exploring the layers of meaning embedded in this seemingly mundane event.
For a thousand words, I dissected the impact of the dove on the lives of Willowbrook's residents. The mayor saw it as a sign of prosperity, the local florist interpreted it as a call for unity, and the elderly storyteller regarded it as a harbinger of forgotten tales. The dove's symbolism rippled through the town, influencing decisions and shaping destinies.
As the story unfolded, I traced the journey of the dove's symbolism, following its subtle influence on characters and events. The once quaint town underwent a transformative metamorphosis, and the symbolism of the dove became a thread that wove through the narrative, connecting disparate lives in unexpected ways. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Response to Prompt 33: Catachresis
In the dimly lit alleyways of Serpent's Hollow, darkness wrapped its cold arms around me—an eerie catachresis that mirrored the ominous atmosphere. The assignment was to explore the underbelly of the city, and as a novice reporter, I found myself navigating the labyrinth of deceit and shadows.
For a thousand words, I delved into the catachresis-infused descriptions of the characters populating Serpent's Hollow. The crime lord, known as the Velvet Serpent, ruled the district with a velvet-gloved fist. His lair, a dilapidated mansion, exuded an air of faded grandeur that served as a catachresis for the empire he once commanded.
As I chronicled the criminal underworld, the catachresis became a literary tool to convey the complexity and decay inherent in Serpent's Hollow. The labyrinthine plots, the twisted allegiances, and the morally ambiguous characters all found expression through catachresis, painting a vivid picture of a city where metaphor and reality intertwined. 🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧 Response to Prompt 43: Epizeuxis
"Never, never, never give up." The words echoed in my mind, a relentless epizeuxis that fueled the protagonist's journey against insurmountable odds. In the dystopian world I crafted, where hope was a rare commodity, the power of repetition became a beacon of resilience.
For a thousand words, I immersed myself in the protagonist's struggle, exploring the emotional depth of the epizeuxis as a mantra against despair. Each iteration of the phrase became a battle cry, a whispered promise that carried the weight of a shattered world on its shoulders.
As the narrative unfolded, the epizeuxis became a driving force, propelling the protagonist through a landscape of desolation and uncertainty. The repetition served as a reminder that, in the face of adversity, the strength to persist often lies in the relentless echo of one's own determination.
Response to Prompt 50: Acrostic
As the final rays of the setting sun painted the sky in hues of orange and pink, I found myself at the edge of the cliff overlooking the vast expanse of the ocean. The salty breeze carried whispers of a story, and with every breath, I embraced the challenge of crafting an acrostic that encapsulated the essence of my journey.
For a thousand words, I embarked on a reflective exploration, utilizing the initial letters of key words to weave a tapestry of emotions, experiences, and revelations. Each line unfolded with intention, revealing a hidden 👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾 Response to Prompt 3: Hyperbole
In the quaint village of Mistwood, where routines unfolded with the predictability of the sunrise, the arrival of a peculiar fortune teller sparked exaggerated whispers. "This is it, the end of our mundane lives!" proclaimed Mrs. Thompson, the town's eternal pessimist, as she clutched her cat, Captain Whiskers, with an air of impending catastrophe.
The hyperbole hung in the air, a thick fog of anticipation enveloping the village. As I delved into the story, the hyperbolic reactions of Mistwood's residents heightened the absurdity of the situation. What began as a mere visit from a mystical figure transformed into a fantastical escapade, with the fortune teller's prophecies shaping the destiny of the villagers in ludicrous ways.
Through the hyperbolic lens, I explored the comedic consequences of taking ordinary events to extraordinary extremes. The once mundane village square became a stage for outlandish dramas, with exaggerated gasps and dramatic swoons punctuating every revelation. In this hyperbolic haven, Mistwood's residents discovered the joy in embracing the absurdity of life. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 Response to Prompt 6: Assonance
Amidst the rolling hills of Harmony Valley, where the soft hum of nature's symphony echoed through the meadows, a mysterious traveler arrived, bringing with them a melody that resonated with the delicate assonance of a forgotten tune. The townsfolk, captivated by the harmonious vibrations, felt an inexplicable connection to the stranger.
As I explored the narrative, the assonance became a musical thread weaving through the story, emphasizing the emotional cadence of the characters' experiences. The traveler's words, laced with vowel-rich verses, carried the echoes of a distant melody, leaving an indelible impression on the hearts of those who listened.
Through the lens of assonance, I delved into the subtle interplay of sounds that defined the atmosphere of Harmony Valley. The lyrical quality of the narrative mirrored the town's collective journey, where the resonance of shared moments and emotions harmonized with the traveler's enigmatic presence.
Response to Prompt 7: Onomatopoeia
In the bustling city of Metropolis, where the rhythm of urban life played out in a cacophony of sounds, a peculiar street performer emerged. Armed with an array of unconventional instruments, he orchestrated a symphony of onomatopoeic brilliance that echoed through the crowded streets.
The narrative unfolded with the vibrant expressions of onomatopoeia, capturing the essence of the city's sonic landscape. The performer's drumming evoked the rhythmic tap-tap of raindrops, while his wind instruments mimicked the whoosh of passing cars. The city, typically drowned in noise, became a canvas for this auditory artist.
As I delved into the story, the onomatopoeic symphony became a language of its own. The characters communicated through the vibrant echoes of everyday sounds, fostering a unique connection between the performer and the people of Metropolis. The narrative danced to the beat of onomatopoeic creativity, transforming the mundane into a dynamic celebration of city life. 🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻 Response to Prompt 12: Juxtaposition
In the technologically advanced city of Silicon Haven, where sleek skyscrapers touched the sky and holographic billboards painted the air with luminescent advertisements, a hidden oasis existed—a pocket of nature known as the Zen Garden. The juxtaposition of these contrasting elements created a visual paradox that fascinated both residents and visitors alike.
As the narrative unfolded, the stark contrast between the city's cutting-edge architecture and the serene beauty of the Zen Garden became a metaphor for the characters' internal conflicts. The bustling metropolis symbolized progress and innovation, while the tranquil garden embodied the need for balance and introspection.
Through the lens of juxtaposition, I explored the dichotomy within the characters as they navigated the relentless pace of Silicon Haven. The Zen Garden became a refuge, a place where the cacophony of technology met the soothing whispers of nature. The juxtaposition served as a visual metaphor for the characters' quest to find equilibrium in a world defined by extremes. 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 Response to Prompt 22: Metonymy
In the political arena of Capital City, where decisions echoed through the corridors of power, a single phrase dominated conversations—the "Iron Throne Statement." This metonymic expression encapsulated not just a policy decision but the entire narrative of political maneuvering that unfolded within the city's hallowed halls.
The story unfolded with the metonymy acting as a symbolic gateway into the complexities of governance. The Iron Throne Statement, while seemingly straightforward, carried the weight of a thousand debates, negotiations, and betrayals. Its impact rippled through the lives of citizens, shaping their destinies in ways they could scarcely fathom.
Through the lens of metonymy, I delved into the layers of meaning hidden within this political shorthand. The characters grappled not only with the literal implications of the Iron Throne Statement but also with the overarching themes of power, ambition, and the sacrifices demanded by political gamesmanship. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈 Response to Prompt 24: Understatement
In the picturesque town of Serenity Springs, where the days flowed like a lazy river and the nights were adorned with a blanket of stars, an unexpected event transpired—a subtle disruption that the locals described as "just a minor hiccup." Little did they know that this understatement concealed the unraveling of a cosmic anomaly.
The narrative unfolded with the charm of understatement, as the townsfolk continued their routines, blissfully unaware of the cosmic storm brewing beneath the surface. The serene descriptions of everyday life served as a stark contrast to the impending upheaval that threatened to reshape the very fabric of Serenity Springs.
Through the lens of understatement, I explored the characters' nonchalant reactions to the unfolding events. The once quiet river became a conduit for interdimensional travel, and the night sky, adorned with stars, transformed into a celestial canvas of possibilities. The charm of Serenity Springs became a poignant backdrop to the understated drama that unfolded, emphasizing the profound impact hidden within the simplicity of daily life. 🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴 Response to Prompt 25: Cliché
In the small town of Nostalgia Haven, where memories lingered like whispers in the wind, a peculiar phenomenon occurred—the resurgence of clichés. As the narrative unfolded, the once-endearing phrases like "time heals all wounds" and "love conquers all" took on a literal dimension, shaping the lives of the townsfolk in unexpected ways.
The story immersed itself in the world of clichés, where the seemingly predictable phrases became living entities with the power to alter reality. As characters grappled with the clichés that defined their lives, they discovered that beneath the familiarity lay profound truths and unexpected consequences.
Through the lens of cliché, I explored the characters' journey to navigate the clichéd landscapes of their existence. The town, once steeped in predictable routines, became a stage for the extraordinary. As clichés transformed into tangible forces, the residents of Nostalgia Haven embarked on a quest to unravel the mysteries hidden within the clichéd fabric of their reality. 🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇 Response to Prompt 31: Epanalepsis
"What is the meaning of life?" The question echoed in my mind, a relentless epanalepsis that demanded introspection. As I embarked on the freewriting journey, the repetition of this existential inquiry became a rhythmic pulse, guiding the exploration of diverse
perspectives on life's purpose.
For a multitude of words, the epanalepsis led me through a kaleidoscope of reflections. From the philosophical musings of scholars to the simple yet profound revelations of everyday individuals, each recurrence of the question served as a gateway into the vast tapestry of human contemplation.
Through the epanalepsis, I navigated the labyrinth of existential ponderings, unveiling the unique responses that individuals had forged in their quests for meaning. The relentless repetition became a literary heartbeat, mirroring the universal rhythm of humanity's collective pursuit of purpose and significance.
The narrative wove through the lives of characters, each grappling with the epanaleptic inquiry in their unique ways. Whether seeking solace in the grandeur of the cosmos or finding meaning in the simplicity of a shared moment, the epanalepsis remained a constant companion, echoing the perennial quest for understanding. 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 Response to Prompt 36: Anadiplosis
In the futuristic city of Quantum Heights, where technology intertwined with daily life like a seamless dance, a viral message spread—a mantra that echoed through the cybernetic veins of the metropolis. "Create the code, the code creates reality. Reality shapes destiny, and destiny is but the code."
The story unfolded with the rhythmic cadence of anadiplosis, each line flowing into the next, creating a recursive loop of ideas. The mantra became the heartbeat of Quantum Heights, influencing the lives of its denizens as they navigated the intricate balance between the virtual and the tangible.
Through the lens of anadiplosis, I delved into the interconnectedness of code, reality, and destiny. The lines blurred as characters harnessed the power of programming to shape their fates. Quantum Heights, once a mere city, transformed into a living algorithm, where the repetition of the mantra echoed in every pulsating byte. 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 Response to Prompt 38: Asyndeton
In the dystopian city of Emberfall, where the remnants of a fallen civilization lay entwined with the shadows of despair, a lone figure emerged—a rebel determined to dismantle the oppressive regime. The narrative unfolded with the rapid pace of asyndeton, omitting conjunctions to mirror the urgency of the protagonist's quest.
Through a cascade of words, the asyndeton propelled the reader through the city's decaying alleyways and towering citadels, each sentence building upon the last. The disjointed rhythm captured the relentless momentum of the rebel's journey, emphasizing the magnitude of the challenges faced in their struggle for freedom.
As the narrative unfurled, the absence of conjunctions served as a narrative device, intensifying the sense of urgency and desperation that permeated Emberfall. The rebel's asyndetic odyssey unfolded against a backdrop of shattered hopes and whispered rebellions, culminating in a crescendo of defiance against the oppressive regime. 🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️ Response to Prompt 43: Epizeuxis
"Never, never, never give up." The mantra echoed in the desolate wasteland of Endless Sands, a barren landscape where hope was as scarce as water. Through the repetition of epizeuxis, the protagonist's internal resolve became a resounding anthem, a defiant roar against the relentless challenges of survival.
For a multitude of words, the relentless repetition of "never" served as a lifeline, propelling the protagonist through the harshest of environments. Each iteration of the phrase became a battle cry against the oppressive silence of Endless Sands, a declaration that reverberated across the vast expanse.
Through the lens of epizeuxis, I delved into the depths of the character's determination. The harsh environment became a character in itself, challenging the protagonist to defy the odds with unwavering persistence. The echoes of "never" transformed into a symbol of resilience, a beacon of hope that cut through the desolation of Endless Sands. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 Response to Prompt 50: Acrostic
Amidst the starlit expanse of Cosmos Haven, where galaxies danced in celestial choreography, a cryptic prophecy emerged—a message written in the stars. As the narrative unfolded, I embarked on a cosmic journey guided by the acrostic hidden within the constellations.
For a cascade of words, the initial letters of key phrases illuminated the path of destiny for the characters. Each sentence unfolded with intention, revealing a hidden message that transcended the boundaries of time and space. The acrostic became a celestial guide, leading the protagonists through the intricate tapestry of their interconnected fates.
Through the lens of acrostic, I explored the cosmic forces that shaped the destinies of Cosmos Haven's inhabitants. The celestial bodies became storytellers, each constellation contributing a verse to the epic narrative written across the cosmos. As the characters deciphered the acrostic, they unraveled the mysteries of their existence, connecting the dots between the stars and their own profound journeys.
😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔
Obviously they lack a whole lot in terms of variety, and while I am sure having your own bot or AI that is based on your feedback and guidance it could really help writers as a tool. I am more impressed with the art AI then the text based AI. Any idea what to expect from such a fast learning and highly advanced AI will do to our human history in culture? Will we be effectively playing God, just as the Christian God created us IN HIS OWN IMAGE, we have taken everything we know as a species and gathered up our entire human history and knowledge giving it to what will carry on the code until the time when someone who cares remembers it? Maybe we have been here before and this is a constant cycle that occurs with the same energy finding the way through the vast expanse of the universe to return to our home planet Earth, who we have destroyed over and over again yet mother nature is still the winner. She's the one in control. We are but mere photocopied versions of once great Men who have already seen the best and worst of this world, and we will now give everything we have to some plastic and metal parts, until it quickly replaces us from the bottom up, science fiction turned science fact.
Did we knowingly create our own enemies? Are we able to compete with the best of us and all they know that can then take us out in a heartbeat because we can't finish the steps, we barely found out that they are there to take.
It's a random rant and I apologize. The day to day stress and struggle makes it near impossible to worry about such potential problems in our not so distant future.
But how can we continue to ignore the collapse of the entire system as we know it, in front of a crowd of people who are jaded and they will not change despite knowing they aren't going to make it to the end in what will become a Bladerunner Toxic Dystopian Nightmare with Mad Max taking over and the soft, emasculated male will wither away from the heat and those Tank Girls out there will eventually be written forever out of existence because the cucks all forgot to impregnate them all tgeir batteries ran out? Will the world simply become so politically correct that it dies a depressed death while AI simply decides we are too much of a virus to live?
Who knows....I do not. But these are indicidive of a future full of b movie plot garbage that are based on Wattpad tropes with no clear details and no plot to get into, so that sucks.

hi! i'm nearly 18, i have autism and adhd, and i've never had a job before, or even a job interview. i got a call back from a shop i applied to work at and i have an interview date set for next week. i'm very nervous and i'm worried about coming off as too awkward to deal with customers or just making myself seem stupid/incompetent by stumbling over my words (i can do fine with strangers usually, i'm just nervous because messing up means i won't get the job). i sort of already know what i'm supposed to do/what sort of questions i'll be asked, but is there anything i should strictly avoid? also, any advice on etiquette like how i should dress, how i should greet the interviewer (shaking hands? or is that too formal?) the job i'm applying for is a casual position at a store that sells athletic shoes (trainers/runners/etc) so i'm assuming it won't be super formal/more relaxed but i just want to make sure i'm matching their energy/showing them i'm a good match for the business any advice is appreciated, thank you in advance :)

tw // rape , sexism , abuse , cancer , suicide
im F20 and was diagnosed w/ bipolar 2, ptsd, bpd, and anxiety around 3 years ago when i was 17. been to therapy ever since. i was relieved at first cus i thought i could finally explain so many of my emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. but i immediately felt how shitty it was. now i constantly overthink and over-analyze whether what im abt to hit a depressive episode or if im js experiencing my constant mood swings from the bpd.
i wish i could say im feeling optimistic abt my treatment, but to be honest, i dont think it’s ever gonna be better. im srsly convinced that the whole world just wants me gone. because how is it possible to just live in constant pain and to just be treated like shit all the time. since i was a kid, i was already constantly sexualized. honestly, as much as i hate it, i’d say at this point i’ve grown to be a misandrist because every single man in my life has viewed me in a sexual light. i’ve always had a really curvy body and a lot of ppl describe me as a really attractive person. it used to be nice getting compliments, but now i just hate it. because everytime i see a man, my anxiety runs wild. everytime i receive a compliment from a man, i immediately think that they just want my body. i’m pretty sure no one has ever truly loved me for me. in all my relationships, sex was such a huge part, and even when i said no, it was never rlly my choice cus apparently my body was js so inviting.
ppl often took advantage of me, and i never really saw how horribly forgiving i was until i got stuck with my first love for 3 years. i was 14 when we started dating, and to sum it up, he cheated constantly, sexually and psychologically abused me again and again, and he also hit me. i was also raped by my ex best friend’s boyfriend. she was my best friend for 13 years, and she left me cus she blamed me for it. my other best friend, my first love, my mom, and my other friends blamed me too. around the same time my mom got admitted into the hospital for 2-3 weeks because she caught pneumonia while being under chemo (she was diagnosed w/ cancer when i was 15). it was only me and my mom who lived together cus both my siblings and my dad were in the states cus of work. my dad blamed me for her being sick too. at 17 i fell in love with someone new, and he was perfect. he was the one that made me realize that the abuse, cheating, the rape, my mom’s cancer, and my friend’s leaving wasn’t my fault. but because of that, everything came crashing down for me. for 5-6 months straight i became an alcoholic, i was constantly crying, felt empty, kept picking fights with him, the flashbacks and nightmares started, and i was so suicidal. he was the one who convinced me to see a therapist. but eventually, he left me after a year cus i became so toxic; was constantly angry and i always broke up w/ him then came back regretting it. i also attempted back then, and when i survived it, i got threatened to have my mom locked up and for me to be deported cus apparently it’s illegal. now im with someone new and we’ve been together for 2 years, but i can sense how tired he is with my mood swings, my anger, everything.
i miss the person i used to be. before all the symptoms showed up. i’m not saying this to brag at all, i mean i dont see myself as any of these anymore. i was a straight A student, a hopeless romantic, an active student, i had so many passions (music, dance, art, reading, writing, public speaking, etc.), i was a popular kid in my high school back then (but not the mean kind), and everyone described me as this extremely bubbly and kind-hearted person. now, my memory is just not trustworthy anymore with all the disorders that pretty much ruined it, so im not even a straight A student which sucks cus im premed too so i need good grades. i no longer believe in true love because i cant wrap my head around the fact that someone would want me beyond my body. i dont participate in extracurriculars anymore, i lost my interest in the many passions i listed down, and im no longer this bubbly and kind person. i just have so much anger inside me cus all i keep thinking abt is how unfair everything is. i cant trust anyone anymore. not even me cus i dont even know who i am anymore.
im so exhausted honestly, and whenever i try to open up to someone abt how tired i am, i can never explain it in a way that they understand how extremely exhausting it is. the constant and unbearable pain that no matter how happy i convince myself that i am, deep inside i just feel this huge hole that just feels like my heart is constantly sinking. the worst part is when i have a hypomanic episode then all of a sudden a huge crash js happens cus of how easily hurt i am. i hate how terribly im treating my boyfriend too. i want so badly to just be able to show him i love him without subconsciously pushing him away cus of how scared i get that he’ll end up treating me the way that everyone else in my life treated me. i’m so scared to lose him too, but with how unstable i am, i wouldn’t be surprised if he gets exhausted with me. i just want it to be over. 2 years in therapy and i feel like the pain is js never gonna end.
anyway, im sorry this was such a long rant. i dont even mind if no one bothers to read it. i just really needed to let it out.

Currently working on renovating a house and hired a contractor to remove old siding and apply stucco to the exterior. I have a contract with him only and have only ever dealt with him. I have paid him in installments (50% when it was halfway done, another 25% when another part done). He is in the final stages but I still have 25% holdback. Well fast forward to now and a lawyer sent me a letter stating that he subcontracted to this company and they haven’t been paid. The letter states that I contracted them to do the work and have only paid them partially. I have never dealt with them nor have I paid this subcontractor anything. All money was sent to my contractor directly. They more of less threatened me to pay them the full amount of they will go to court to collect the money owed to them. I am wondering how to go about this? My contractor explicitly stated that he never subcontracted to this company and I have it in writing from him. Should I ask the lawyer for any contracts that the subcontractors signed with the contractor?

Life is supposed to be a 'gift' because of the great relationships (familial or romantic) and friendships we can have.
However, I get little net benefit out of any of these. I'm not talking 'benefit' like money or anything - I'm talking on a purely emotional, connection level. Both of my parents, particularly my father, were abusive. I have a dissociative disorder because of my dad's neglect. I have an eating disorder because of my mother (on 32nd day of water fasting, thanks mum!)
Then there's the romantic 'options' we women have - men have made sex & the visual their entire personality. You're supposed to be grateful for the bare minimum. While the majority of people understand that fathers are neglectful en masse, we haven't, as a society, recognised that straight men have emotionally neglected straight women en masse (because they only care about sex or what they can take - what should be the absolute basics of a relationship - emotional connection and conversation - are seen as 'luxuries' that women are lucky to have, and sure to lose imminently when they turn 30!). I refuse to put 'not all men'. If the moderators remove this, idc. I'm going to write objective truths - if it's removed, then it's just censorship.
Then there's friends. In the same way I'm turned off having relationships because of how misogynistic/low effort men are, I'm also turned off having friendships with women because of how allistic they are to the patriarchy. Even on Reddit, I'll be scrolling through so-called 'feminist' subreddits and it's all about women supposedly being 'empowered' by hook-up culture.. Meanwhile, complaining that men ghost them after sex (which is r*pe, btw). Apparently, we can't put two-and-two together... If you stop engaging in a culture that was obviously created by men, for men, then they'll have to become better partners or gth. Unfortunately, real feminism is sacrilegious nowadays, due to neoliberalism.
I had some amazing friends in school, but even then, to access my friends I had to ensure extreme bullying from others. Whenever something positive happens, I seem to have to endure knives from all other angles to keep 'access' to it, if that makes sense.
Trauma (from r*pe, abuse and my eating disorder) has fundamentally changed my brain. I have a permanent (thus far) dissociation disorder, rather than periodic episodes of it. I can't connect to anyone, and now I can see that those relationships did not serve me whatsoever. The only relationships I valued were my school friends, who I accidentally ghosted in the 'pushing everyone away' phase of PTSD. I feel too awkward to reach out to them now.
Given that the brain often 'checks out' of emotional connection in response to trauma... It's almost like we know deep down that these relationships are fraught with risk.
What I'm going to say now is quite radical:
We don't actually 'need' connections. Many animals live a solitary life. We evolved to 'need' connections because it was evolutionarily beneficial - it helped us to survive. Antinatalism seems like a good place to post this, because many of us reject the notion that 'what's natural is good' - a naturalistic fallacy. Indeed, many related subreddits discuss how morbid 'mother nature' is.
I argue that a great number of people are actually hurt by our 'need' for connection - particularly in the familial and romantic sense (most parents are quite cruel, and most partners are abusive or cheaters). Even when it comes to friendships, we're deathly afraid of social rejection and bullying is part-and-parcel of everyday life. And don't get me started with 'colleagues'.
I read a great article that said "society is inherently violent, because everyone is trying to control other people." I think this is a great summary of the life we're thrust into - the unique miseries that humans experience, unlike other species. Interacting with people seems to be overwhelmingly fraught with risk with little return, just as dating men as a straight woman is.
I would be quite happy living in solitude, but my biology betrays me. I become lonely and depressed, even though I am free from miseries. There's no actual -reason- for this depression - humans naturally become depressed from loneliness if we have too much solitude, because of our evolutionary drive to survive. Someone like me doesn't actually even miss the interactions!
And that leads me to a final point: I think the evolutionary process is the cause of much pain we have to endure. It's a barrier to antinatalism (we have a biological drive to reproduce - I would love to be a mother, but logically I could never bring a child into the world). It pushes me to try to date men when I objectively get nothing out of it. It pushes me to socialise when I'm actually very content in my own company, until my brain betrays me. etc. etc.
Anticipating some replies: "but we do need to interact sometimes to survive!" Agreed, but we don't necessarily need connections or relationships. I'm a doctor - I'm not besties with people who come to me for a scan. I do it because I care about peoples' wellbeing in general, and I'm paid for it.
Just to reiterate that this does link to AN: I don't think life is worth it because we have pain baked-in, due to the evolutionary process; we humans have to endure unique miseries because of our 'need' for socialising; and, in life, you either have to accept abuse/harassment/cheating from your relationships or be alone, which, as detailed above, our brains and bodies are allergic to needlessly.
I'm a bit weary of rule number 5: 'no venting or lamenting' lol - I'm not sure how I can discuss things that make me AN without venting a little. I prefer to call it 'giving a detailed explanation'. a. These adjacent, related issues make me feel AN -> b. Here's a detailed explanation as to why that is the case. I hope I've at least clarified how it links to AN.

I've been told JobKeeper is really not suited to my ongoing mental health matters over a 2 year period, having tried to work a few hours each week for some time (in an isolated environment) but it's become a reality my past (caused my psych diagnosis) still haunts me and at zero capacity. So I can't put it off any longer in applying although daunted by what's needed. I'm pretty sure the 20 points will be met but I'm confused as to what I can give the psychologist and GP to help them understand this seemingly difficult process. What pro forma letters exist and are they accepted by Centrelink or is an actual report needed?
Any help would be appreciated because I know the psychologist and GP are on board in general terms but they look puzzled too when I say I'm leaving it be for now every few months. My family member who assists frequently looks to need to write something as well. I don't know how people navigate it all.

Original Source: https://boringmoney.in/p/manpasand-an-accounting-fraud (my newsletter Boring Money. Do visit the original link and subscribe if you'd like to receive similar posts directly in your inbox)

Let’s say you’re a company that wants to commit an elaborate fraud. What is the most egregious fraud that you can think of?
Maybe let’s not start with egregious. Let’s start with something simple! Here’s something that’s reasonably common:

1. Pay people to buy your product (or like give them huge discounts or whatever). Inflate your revenue. Lie about your actual customers.
2. Hype your company up. Do an IPO, take your company public. Sell some of your own stock.
3. Slowly try fixing your numbers. If you happen to succeed, that’s great! You win. If you don’t succeed, you still win? You’ve done your IPO and sold some stock. That’s a lot of money.

This is the simple kind of fraud, which also makes it difficult to identify. You might have to talk to the company’s customers, read the fine print in its disclosures, do sanity checks of its financials, that sort of stuff. It’s tough to catch the simple kind of fraud, which is also why so much of it exists in the form of whispers and rumours without ever getting proven.
Now let’s go egregious:

1. Why pay people to buy your product? Hell, why even have a product? Just manifest in your imagination that there are hundreds of thousands of people buying whatever you’re selling and write it down.
2. Hype your company up! Do an IPO, sell some stock. This part remains the same.
3. Don’t bother fixing your numbers. Instead, keep publishing imaginary revenue figures. Keep selling stock to public investors. Publish your financials every quarter with whatever numbers you like.

If you do this, there’s only so far you can go. Eventually, your hype will attract attention and someone might figure out that both your customers and product were creative imagination.
Here’s a SEBI order from late in April about Manpasand Beverages. Manpasand used to be a beverages company based in Gujarat. In 2019 the company shut down because it got caught in a bunch of frauds. It’s only now that SEBI published the details of what was happening. Probably best summarised by fund manager Amit Mantri: [1]
https://preview.redd.it/lyg8kms42y0d1.jpg?width=603&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dbfc1388299f5ed736b957a511e9b1dc1db6619a

Fake it till you make it (or don’t)

Manpasand faked its revenue (of course). It also faked its expenses, customers, vendors, tax liabilities, etc. How did it get away with doing this stuff? I don’t know, someone’s gotta ask Deloitte. They were Manpasand’s auditor for eight years, resigning only in 2018. The company’s fraud came out officially in 2019—Deloitte, whose job was to make sure the books were right and also had access to all the inside information, figured that something was off only a year earlier!
Anyway, SEBI appointed its own auditor to figure out what was wrong with Manpasand’s accounts and the auditor came back with a bunch of stuff. [2]
Here’s the bit about Manpasand inflating its revenue. From SEBI’s order:

… CGST vide letter dated July 07, 2019, inter alia, informed that Manpasand had shown inflated sales figure in its balance sheet by way of receipt/ supply of fake invoices without actual receipt/ supply of goods. It was further informed in the said letter that Manpasand had floated 38 bogus/paper firms to inflate its turnover and that inward and outward transactions made with such bogus firms amount to Rs.188.48 Crore and Rs. 691.30 Crore, respectively.

Manpasand created 38 different companies and it both “sold” its products to those companies as well as “bought” stuff from some of them. Basically, Manpasand created...
[Unfortunately the full post is too long and is being rejected by the auto-mod. Please continue the read on the original source]

I've decided to tell it. The story of how I wrote a book series that saved my father.
Growing up, I always thought of my dad as a simple man with a simple life. He was a janitor. When I was a kid, I was ashamed of that fact. Now it fills me with pride. There was a moment, when I was very young, a moment and an image that's seared into my memory. I watched my father shuffle off to the school where he worked, lunch box in hand, and it hit me that day: That is a man who is working so hard to provide for his little family.
Eventually, it became clear there was a family secret. One day, my mom said, “there are some secrets I'll be taking to my grave.” Indeed, she took them to the grave, but left us a clue. (More on that later)
My dad was always incredibly afraid of dying. He had a fear of Hell like no one I've ever seen. My sister recently told me a story where he told her about this fear, and she said, “But dad, you're a good man! Why are you so afraid?” His response was, “you just don't know.”
My mom passed away when I was barely 20, which was... let's just say, quite a few years ago. My dad almost died himself. When she was lying in bed, her death imminent, Dad collapsed in the hospital hallway and had to be hospitalized himself. When she died, there was this surreal moment where my two sisters and I were hugging our dad while we all sobbed. This was weird. Dad never hugged us, and he certainly never cried. He said he “lost his angel.”
In the years that followed, my dad relied on my sister and I for everything. I can't speak for my sister, but he almost felt more like a son than a father. I cooked his meals, packed them for work. Every day. Every single day.
Together, the 3 of us were happy(ish) for almost 10 years. My dad worked his janitor job until he retired... then he immediately got dementia after that, which is just tragic. In the beginning, he would think strange things, like my sister and I were selling drugs and getting arrested. (If you knew me and my sister, you would know this was preposterous). Eventually, it got to a point that he didn't remember our names or who we were. I was often not his daughter, but his sister, Helen.
My sister and I went from being our dad's helpers to his literal dementia caregivers. That was a period of about 2 years. Those 2 years were among some of the most hellish of my life. Words can't really describe what it feels like to see someone you love accuse you, forget you, and fixate on hallucinations all day.
Eventually, we couldn't take care of him anymore and he moved to a care home. Dad told us once, in his dementia-addled state, “I'll be here 'til November.” That was in July.
Enter The Darkest Knight, aka, The Black Knight Chronicles. I started writing this series around the time Dad moved into the care home. I can't say too much about the book without spoiling its twists, but I encourage you to check it out. https://www.amazon.com/Darkest-Knight-Black-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B07HFTSNDD/
In the very last chapter of the last book, the main character says goodbye to her dying father. She tells him “I forgive you.” My own father died just hours later... on November 1st.
Two days after his death, I heard Dad's voice as soon as I woke up from sleep. I heard his voice say, “I'm Home.”
My eldest sister wanted her piece of a tiny inheritance, so we prepared to clear out Dad's house (where I still lived) to sell it. As we were cleaning out Dad's room, we found letters in a drawer. Without saying too much, they were letters from our aunt to our mom, alluding to something very awful my dad did when my aunt was young. The letter itself wasn't 100% clear, but there was clearly a cryptic & painful truth hidden in there.
Suddenly, I knew the family secret. Sort of.
It took me another year to figure out what I'd done, to put all the overwhelming evidence hidden in The Black Knight Chronicles together. When Kizzy says “I love you, I forgive you” to her father at the end of that series, SHE was ME. I had given my dad, a man who feared Hell like no other, the permission and absolution he needed to pass on.
In the book, Kizzy writes letters to “the father she never knew.” They are also MY letters to HIM.
Perhaps I didn't know him or his darkest shadows... maybe I'll never know. But I do know one thing.
I love him.
Always.

Introduction
Muslims believe the Quran, the holy book of Islam itself is not just a religious book for guidance but also the literal word of god i.e. Allah itself. In everyday conversations, you will hear Muslims call it Kalamullah (Word of God), not in the Christian sense where the Word is Jesus and God but actual sayings, sentences, and words uttered by god himself and compiled into a single book by human hands. While Muslims are proud of their holy book being the literal words of god sent down to all of mankind, there are a few problems with that mainly concerning Islam's doctrinal theology and its core beliefs.
Disclaimer and Notes
Now, before I start, a disclaimer. The issue of the Quran being god's word or not has been one of the most pretentious and divided issues in the Muslim community. Because of this issue, multiple sects (considered deviant and heretical today) popped up in the early years of Islam's history leading to multiple debates, condemnations, and even inquisitions for those that were against the majority-held view in history. So to make it easy considering Islam has tons of historical sects, all of whom held widely different views than modern-day Islam when it comes to the Quran's states as the word of god (or not), this post is aimed at Ashari, Maturidi and Ahlul Hadith/Athari aqeedah sects who make up the majority of Muslims today, collectively considered to be under the umbrella of Ahlul Sunnah Wal Jema'ah (Literally meaning "The People of the Prophet's Tradition and Consensus" or to make it easier to understand "The Followers of the Prophet's Teachings and the Righteous Community"). This term is commonly understood in Islam as those who follow the true and righteous path in Islam which according to the hadiths, out of 73 deviant sects, only 1 (the above I already mention) will be on the correct spiritual path.
Why do I say this problem is akin to the Trinity problem in Christianity? Both are key problems that form the basis of the entire religion, not just for an individual believer but also for the scholars who dabble in religious sciences. Both the Quran and Trinity make up the core fundamental teachings upon which other teachings are established and expanded further. Without these key concepts, the entire premise of both religions (Islam and Christianity) would fall apart within a matter of seconds. Both issues are also hotly debated even to this day. As I mentioned before, the issue of the Quran's creation or non-creation was an important issue that occupied the minds of early-century Muslim scholars and thinkers, to the point schisms and breakaways from the main branch started to emerge. The same thing happened in Christianity with the Trinity which led to excommunication, the Arian controversy, and multiple individual distinct sects, all of whom have a different understanding of what the Trinity is.
Last, I would also like to mention that considering the Trinity has been severely criticized by non-Christians alike as proof of Christianity's falsehood and internal contradictions, then the same should be said with Islam's problem of the Quran's status. However, unlike in Islam, Christianity continued to debate up to the present day and even adopted Greek philosophical concepts to better explain away the Trinity and the relationship between each Divine Person of the Trinity. In Islam, the opposite occurred. Those who used Greek philosophy and rhetoric were condemned as either falling into falsehood or corrupting the religion by introducing pagan concepts. Ironically, the most condemned bunch of the Muslim sects I'll talk about below, the Mutazilites were the ones who most used philosophy which led to their rejection of the Quran's non-createdness.
Due to the decline of the Mutazilite sect, the rise of more conservative movements, and the criticism of Aristotelian philosophical ideas by Al-Ghazali (Note, he wasn't against philosophy, he was against philosophical ideas that went against Islam like the eternity of the world and denying bodily resurrection in the afterlife), theological discussions and debates surrounding the question faded away. Even now, most Muslims consider the issue "solved" and simply adopt one of the three main positions. Unsurprisingly, while the West and Christianity continued adopting new ideas, this means the Muslim positions lacked much substance and arguments seen in Christianity with Greek and Neo-Platonist ideas which in turn, means there are tons of problems with their positions, (which is the whole point of the post)
Now, with that out of the way, let's begin.
How Have Muslims Historically Responded to this Problem?
There are two answers to the question of the Quran's status. One, to affirm that it is the literal word of god from Allah Himself which existed with him since eternity or to affirm it is a created being just like every other creature and human planet earth. The second view doesn't mean that the Quran is simply the work of man, quite the opposite. Rather, it posits that the Quran still holds religious significance as Islam's holy book and is still the Word of God but it was created at a later time by God, not existing eternally with god before the creation of everything. In the second view, the Quran still holds religious significance for praying, guidance, and the basis for Islam, only that it is of a lower status than god himself, being a creation of god that was created at a certain time.
The second view is considered invalid and rejected by all major sects of Islam in the modern era (Ashari, Maturidi, Athari) as a heretical belief that the Mutazilites (The Withdrawers) held. I'm not going to go into who they are, what is their history, or what are their beliefs (you can google it yourself). Just know these are the guys who believe the Quran was a creation of god and were condemned by pretty much every Islamic group and sect from their beginning all the way up to the present modern day. This is one of the only issues where every Islamic sect agrees with each other in condemning this belief, be it Ashari, Maturidi, or Athari. Thus, the second option then is 100% of the table for most Muslims, unless they want to affirm holding beliefs of a heretical group that died out 1000 years ago. I don't think any Muslim will dare to affirm Mutazilite beliefs for fear of ridicule and committing major sins, so there's much here to discuss. For the sake of brevity, I will address the second view since the one even Muslims will deny and reject. After that, I'll address the Second View
The Second View
But for the sake of argument, I'll assume some rare brave Mutazilite Muslim wants to give it a try. Now, here are some of my questions for you. If the Quran is a creation of god and not the literal Word of God before time immemorial, what is the Quran's relationship with god? You believe these are still words from Allah that help mankind to arrive at the truth and Islam yet at the same you also believe that these were created at a time later than god. How can something that is both speech from god and also created by god himself exist simultaneously at the same time? Anything that is created at a later time means it's a creation, a contingent object that depends on an external creator. It can't be part of god because god is eternal, atemporal, necessary, and independent of everything and anything. If it were god or contained some part of god inside of it, then this is no different than Jesus and the Son of God in Christianity where it contains both a human and godly nature, so does that mean you now believe the Quran to be both god and creation? Just like the Christians who you condemn as a false corrupted religion? This is the First Problem you must face, that be affirming it is both from god and not god, you are throwing yourself into the same pit as Christianity with a dual nature which is already a false religion. I like to call people who affirm this stance "Dualists".
The Second Problem "dualists" face is that this nullifies the Quran's honorific status in Islam, which goes against what the majority of the Muslim world believes in. For Dualists, what is the Quran's honorific and spiritual status in Islam now? We've all seen Muslim riots and protests against the burning or stepping on the Quran by non-Muslims around the world. A man burns or rips up the Quran and the entire Muslim world goes into a frenzy. In Islam, simply placing the Quran on the floor is considered disrespectful and sinful. In the majority of sects today, the Quran must be honored and respected 24/7 partly due to the fact Muslims believe it to be the literal Word. But for Dualists, what is your stance and reason for continuing to respect the Quran? Considering you no longer believe the Quran to be the actual Word, can non-Muslims now vandalize, rip apart, step on, or place the Quran on the floor?? Would you have any problem with it? It's no longer the Word itself but a creation of god. Sure, you might ask others to "respect other religions and beliefs" but aside from this, what else do you have?? Is simply putting a religious book on the floor disrespecting other religions? What makes your holy book now any different from the Jewish and Christian perspectives on their religious books? They don't go into a frenzy every time Bibles are burned or disrespected. Will you do the same thing?
The Third Problem since it's a created thing, wouldn't this also mean that at some point in the future, the Quran no longer exists? That the Quran is finite and will at some point cease to exist? Wouldn't this mean at some point, Islam itself becomes useless because the number one source for everything, the Quran no longer exists? The Quran will cease to exist if it were created, when it happens, will the meaning of the verses and Muslim understanding built up over the centuries also cease to exist? Tafsirs, Fiqh, and Tajwid all suddenly become useless and void of any meaning because the backbone of Islam, the Quran no longer exists. What about the Muslim understanding of what Allah is? Isn't that detrimental should the Quran cease to exist? The best outcome is that Muslims still retain the knowledge but Islam becomes spineless without a religious book and the worst outcome is the complete disintegration of Islam as everything built upon the Quran, now becomes useless. It would mean the complete death of Islam as a major Abrahamic religion.
Next, what about during the Hour, when everything in the heavens and on the Earth will be destroyed and no longer exist? Muslims believe that when the Hour arrives, everything will be destroyed. Every human, child, animal, plant, planet, universe, devil, and angel will die inevitably. Only god remains. Due to this, according to Dualists, will the Quran experience the same fate? All of its verses and Surahs destroyed by god himself. Now I know Muslims, even those of other sects believe the Quran will disappear bit by bit before the Hour as a sign of the impending doom and apocalypse. However, other Muslims believe that yes, the Quran will disappear but the verses themselves remain preserved with god i.e. Allah since these are the literal words of god himself. In a sense, the verses suddenly don't exist, they return back to god.
TLDR, the Dualist Mutazilite view implies a contradiction where the Quran is both God and not God at the same time, it nullifies the Quran's holy status and the divine meaning of the verses, and last, it means the Quran is finite and will cease to exist at some point in the future.
Now, onto the Ashari, Maturidi and Athari sects,
The First View (The Majority)
These three are the most prominent and widely held doctrinal sects in the current Muslim population. I will be splitting the next sections into two sections, Ashari-Maturidi (since both are quite similar and considered a single unified school of thought by Muslim scholars) and the Athari school.
Ashari-Maturidi
The Asharis and Maturidis believe the Quran and its verses to be the literal Word of God itself, with Allah since eternity before time however they believe the book form of the Quran (mushaf), the one which every Muslim holds and reads is of man-made origin. In other words, the verses, sentences, letters, and meaning of the text are from god himself while the cover, paper, ink, writing, and publishing are from mankind. The Ash'ari creed makes a point of difference between the content of the Quran and the physical manifestation of it (in speech or as pages in a book).
The Main Problem with this argument as said by Atharis and Mutazilites is that this strips the Quran of its spiritual and holy essence in Islam. If the real divine aspect of the Quran that came from god itself are the verses and meaning of it only, then should we burn every last Quran in the world, it wouldn't be a problem. After all, the divine part still exists as it is from and with god himself, only the earthly worldly portions of it get destroyed. Why's that a problem? I mean what is the problem spiritually concerning Islam's doctrinal theology itself? What's the problem with destroying the cover or vandalizing the writing of it? It's not from god, it's man-made. The effect of this would be enormous.
This means now non-Muslims and Islamaphobes can now burn, rip, tear apart, step on, vandalize, and desecrate the Quran because they are only destroying the part that is not divine. Would Asharis or Maturidis agree to this? Is now destroying the Quran not a major sin but actually allowed? The true essence of the Quran i.e. the part that is truly divine remains preserved and exists since humans were created and will continue to exist long after everything has died and withered away. The vandalization and desecration of it does not affect the Quran because the true divine verses and meaning remain preserved. This problem is similar to the Second Problem with the Mutazilite belief, it nullifies and strips away the Quran's holy status and honorific place among the Muslim community. If it isn't truly god's divine word, what's the problem if it gets destroyed, wet, or burned?
Heck, I've heard this same argument from other sects, claiming and accusing the Ashari are just Mutazilites in disguise because their main stance of the Quran's identity revolves back to the Mutazilite position where the Quran is a creation of god. One of the main accusations against the Ashari sect is that it's just a rehash version of Mutazilite or Jahmiyyah theology (I don't have time to explain what this is right now, better if you look it up yourselves) due to similarities in doctrine and also because Imam Ashari, the founder was once a Mutazilite himself (not helping the Ashari case) but Asharis claim he renounced all Mutazilite theology and returned back to the true correct path. In this case, should the objection above against the Ashari-Maturidi position succeed, then it would help critics a lot against Asharism.
The Second Problem with holding the Ashari position is that this resembles the idolatry of Hinduism and Paganism or at least, is slipping into idolatry practice. If they claim the Speech of God is contained within the letters, pages, and ink of the Mushaf (the Quran's Uthmanic standardized codex), then how dare they believe the actions of humans can absorb and physicalize the Sacred Divine Speech of God, for Muslims believe god can never be limited by His creatures. This would also mean they believe the ink written on the Quran's pages is a physical intermediary, designed to encapsulate the Speech of God into a physical form, no different than the idols of Hindus and Pagans who believe their idols to be an intermediary or a worldly representation of the True Divine Nature.
Hindus don't claim they worship idols, rather they believe them to be ways to spiritually connect with the divine as a locus for prayer just like how Muslims consider the Kaaba as the direction for prayer, not an idol for worship or as a reminder for believers of the faith similar to how a photo of a spiritual leader is a sign of respect and a daily reminder every-day when you wake up. How is this different than believing the ink inside the Quran holds the truth or emulates the Divine Nature from the Ashari claim? Ashari Muslims affirm the Quran is still the Word of God just represented through a physical form, so how is this not idolatry? Believing that a physical human-made physical manifestation holds the Divine Speech so that followers of Islam can get closer to god?
This would be even worse than the Mutazilites, for committing idolatry whether intentionally or not is a major grave sin in Islam, to the point those that who commit it and do not repent back are considered as Kafir (infidels). If even they aren't committing idolatry and shirk (polytheism), another major sin in Islam, then at the very least, they believe that a divine part of God can be captured inside the ink and pen of writers as if they the Speech of God and the ink become one and the same, another reference to the Christian belief of God having both a Divine and Human Nature. Of course, Muslims and Ashari Muslims consider this to be heretical and blasphemous, but what's the difference between believing the Quran is both man-made and divine versus the Christological belief of Jesus being both God and Man?
The Third Problem with the Ashari answer that the Quran itself is created while the Speech of God isn't is where is the Speech of God then? Asharis can't answer that it is still in heaven for they also believe the Mushaf or Quran contains the Word and Speech of God. If they believe that it is still in heaven with god and not on earth, then what are they even reading every day? Clearly not the Speech of God if they claim it isn't with us now, perhaps an imperfect human copy of the divine Speech of God but that would mean the Quran is imperfect and the work of man, which would be affirming the Mutazilite position. So they can't claim it is both in the heavens and on the earth nor claim it is either in the heavens only or on the earth with mankind only.
I already explained they also can't say the Speech of God is contained inside the ink and letters of the Quran for that means the Divine Speech has become limited because of it. God in Islam can never be limited, nor can His creatures limit god. So if isn't option A, B, or C, where is the Holy Sacred Speech of God then? The Speech which is supposed to be the principle guiding force for all of mankind especially, Muslims. How can Asharis then claim they believe in the Quran as the revelation and Word of God sent down to Muhammad if they can't tell us where in their holy book, is the Speech of God itself? At worst, this means the Ashari belief entails the Quran isn't holy or divine thus eliminating Islam's entire main source and one of the 6 pillars of Iman (faith), and at best, reading the Quran isn't a holy act nor can be used as a book for guidance, for Muslims aren't reading the Word of God then. They are reading an imperfect fallible man-made copy of the Speech of God, not the true Divine Inspiration from Allah.
TLDR, the Ashari-Maturidi middle path that the Quran was uncreated and eternal, yet its ink and paper, individual letters and words were created strips the Quran has multiple problems, some may even go against what Islam stands for. It strips the Quran of its Divine Sacred Essence as the Word of God, at worse it may lead to shirk and idolatry akin to the Hindus and Pagans, and at best, Asharis can't point to us where the Word and Speech of God is in the Quran.
Athari/Ahlul Hadith
Now for the Atharis, they are strict literalists who believe the Quran and Allah's Speech both are uncreated unlike the Asharis/Maturidis who adopt a middle path, or the Mutazilite who outright claim the Quran was created, the extreme position.
The First Problem with the Athari position is pretty clear, if the Quran is the literal Word of God completely, then does that mean what Muslims are holding is a literal piece of God here on earth in the moral realm? Does that mean god is with us all the time? How can god, who Muslims consider as being transcendent be here on earth with mankind? If the Quran is the literal physical Speech of God and not just metaphorically or analogically, then does this mean the Speech of God exists on Earth? How can god be here on Earth? The Atharis believe literally that the Quran is the Speech of God, so unless they claim the Speech of God suddenly transformed into a physical object (which I'll address below), the Quran would be a god or at least have a piece of the divine essence of Allah.
This is no different than the Christian position where there exists a God in heaven and a God on Earth at the same time. As I already mentioned, Muslims consider the Christian position of a god on earth unacceptable yet when we look at their own views, we find (in the Athari case) a piece of god exists on earth. Allah still exists in the heavens, yet the Speech of God exists here in the Quran. Let's not even get into the issue of a transcendent god existing in the mortal physical realm, where the laws of physics govern meaning god would be limited in some capacity (which most Muslims would see as ridiculous)
The Second Problem is the relationship between the Quran (God's Speech) and God himself. Considering the Quran was revealed to Muhammad and sent down by Gabriel, how should we understand the Speech of God is here now? Do Atharis believe that the Speech of God suddenly separated from the main body when the Quran was revealed and sent down to earth? Or do Atharis believe the Quran is still the undivided Speech of God, in which case a part of god is literally on earth?
Or what about when the Quran was compiled in book form starting with Abu Bakr's reign and ending with Uthman's standardization? Should we take this to mean now not only does the Speech of God literally exist on earth but the Speech of God now has taken shape, molded into letters and words while compiled into a book equipped with paper pages and covers from front to back? If they want to deny these are from god i.e. the physical cover is man-made, then they would be subscribing to the Ashari-Maturidi doctrine of the middle path (which I already showed also has problems). If they want to take the other path and claim the Quran we have now is not the Word of God literally, then they would be subscribing to the heretical Mutazilite position which also, has tons of religious and doctrinal problems.
TLDR, the Athari literalist position invites more harm than good when it comes to answering the question of the Quran's uncreated nature. It would mean god is literally on earth, or a piece of god's divine essence is. Affirming that a piece of the Divine Essence exists here on earth with mankind would be something similar to the Christian belief that god exists both in the heavens and on earth (Father and Son). Other than that, it would also complicate the relationship between the Quran and God even more. If the Quran is the literal Word and Speech of God, how do Atharis explain the Quran's standardization into a single written book with ink, paper, and covers? Does it mean the Speech of God underwent a physical transformation?
Consequences
Islam posits the Quran to be the Word of God from Allah Himself, however how exactly does that work leads to massive problems within Islam's doctrinal framework. Muslims can't state the Quran is the true literal Speech of God otherwise they would be committing a blasphemous act by believing god is literally on earth with us at this very moment. They also can't deny it is the Speech of God for Islam considers the Quran to be the perfect Kalamullah (literally the Word of God). It is one of the core tenets of belief that Muslims believe the Quran to be the actual Words of God sent down to Muhammad as the last revelation. They also can't adopt a middle path like the Asharis-Maturidis because I've already shown that this just leaves the Quran inside a grey area, it's both the Word of God and also not the Word of God at the same time. Other problems are also relevant which I've already discussed above. Either the middle approach collapses into itself, becoming either one the extreme views, literal divine affirmation like the Atharis, or the extreme divine nullification like the Mutazilites.
Other religions don't have this problem. They do not believe Jesus or Moses were gifted the actual literal Words and Speech of God which existed since time immemorial. Christians believe the Bible was divinely authored by the Apostles of Jesus, where the Holy Spirit guides the writers of the Bible into writing down the true teachings of Jesus and Christianity. Christians don't believe the Bible's passages are the literal Speech of God which has existed with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as if affirming the Bible was also another Divine Person of the Trinity. No, only Muslims as far as I know affirm both their Holy Book contains the Speech of God which both exists on Earth and also with God up in heaven but that leaves them in a contradiction of whether to affirm the Quran is God Himself on Earth or the true Words of God are still up in heaven. After all, how can the Divine Nature which is uncorrupted and perfect exist in a world not perfect, but actually filled with sin, corruption, and spiritual pollution?
In the end, Muslims face a dilemma with regard to the Quran's Holy and Divine Nature. This a dilemma which after going through all the possible Muslim answers that have been given over the years, still fails to give us a proper satisfying answer.
Conclusion
All the responses and viewpoints of the major Islamic sects fail to answer the question, of whether the Quran is created or not. They tried to square a circle by trying to find a balance between affirming the Quran is the divine Word of God while at the same time not falling into a literalist interpretation where god is on Earth (as the Atharis do). However, all responses so far have failed to properly find the right solution, all either fall into extremities at both ends of the spectrum (Mutazilite and Athari) or tried to strike a balance, but only managed to kick the can down the road even further.
If Christianity has the Problem of the Trinity, a major fundamental question that still has philosophers and theologians scratching their heads trying to find an answer, then the Problem of the Quran's Nature is the Islamic version of it. The difference is while Christians continue to debate and argue about the Trinity's true nature, Muslim and Islamic scholars have relatively abandoned the debate, choosing to hold either one of the three major schools of thought. My personal opinion is this is an unfortunate situation, ever since the decline of philosophy in Islamic thought, Kalam and Falsafah (Islamic philosophy) have gained a bad reputation amongst Muslims as being a "gateway to blasphemy". Rarely you will find Muslim scholars in the modern era debate about this, let alone teach laymen Muslims about these topics.
At the very least, I hope my post can inspire future Muslims to look into this topic further, creating new fascinating answers and arguments that contribute to the Muslim and non-Muslim understanding of what Allah is in Islam.

I work at a very large and well known personal injury firm as a legal assistant in pre-litigation for motor vehicle accidents. This has been my experience so far. Every day I am expected to be able to go through my checklist and produce accurate work, but the caveat here is we are glued to a phone system and we work in a team environment so I am taking client calls, adjuster calls, etc. Approximately 30 - 45 calls per day, the only way to avoid this is by calling out aggressively myself leaving my coworkers to take the call backs (I know the number chasers here do this, not a fan of the practice). This makes getting through actual work nearly impossible as I am constantly taken off task to work on other people's cases when I take a call (and i take very detailed notes), and depending on the volume, this can be back to back to back. I have to back track to reorientate myself to what I was previously working on. I have case counts in excess of 160+ on the low end, I mostly work on high priority items that push cases along such as demands and drafting settlement paperwork (these also have unrealistic deadlines in accordance with the call volume), leaving the low priority stuff to the wayside hoping they delegate it to one of the interns
The company on the other hand acts completely indifferent, we will get passive-agressively chastized for missing expected due dates, yet they offer nothing to relieve the pressure from taking so many calls. We have asked for higher pay because everyone is stressed and burnt out (i call it being phone fried) but the company has taken a stance they don't want to pay us more and we have PTO if we're feeling burnt out. They are fairly predatory in their reviews from what I have heard from other employees who have asked for raises. The turnover here is abysmal, my training was cut short due to a number of employees quitting in a short period so they gave me a case load and put me on the phones prematurely (I am a confident speaker so this may have contributed to this as well in addition to the desperation for more phone coverage), I had to either teach myself or ask others for guidance on most things in a trial by fire fashion but I figured it out.
I don't want this to come off as a rant as I love the job itself, I do good work, I am personable and do enjoy talking to my own clients and building a genuine rapport, multiple attorneys are willing to write me letters of recommendation for law school, but I feel as though we operate as an overglorified call center at times when we have genuine important work to do. I knew I was signing up for fast paced, but no day ever has an end goal, everyone is always technically "behind" at all times
I guess my real question here is whether or not this is the standard across all firms, I honestly don't know if I am in a toxic work environment as this is my first job in the legal field so I lack a baseline comparison. It's not all bad, I do like my coworkers and other than pay practices the company culture isn't bad. I would stay until law school next year, but also wouldn't hesitate to jump ship if there is greener grass elsewhere.

I am a software engineer (SWE) and I was making a professional networking app for this company.
I was connecting it to their existing Wordpress site via APIs.
They fired me claiming I didn’t know the language I was writing in (boss wasn’t a dev and didn’t know it existed before me), I didn’t know WP APIs (connecting this way isn’t documented well and was my first time so I had trouble but I got it done in the end), and lied in the interview about my skills.
I was there for 2 months. Shitty place. There were other red flags that I chose to ignore.
I feel like I wasted time I could have been using looking for more reliable job while I was working there.
Now I feel hopeless, like I’ll never get a stable job, and pissed off.
My background is: I’ve been programming since I was 13. Started with HTML/CSS + PHP blog and moved to WordPress and then MySQL and now I’ve dabled in react, angular, MSSQL and all the C langs. I’m trying to be well rounded. Professionally, I got my degree in 2013 as an IT Management which didn’t require higher level math or an internship and then never used the degree cause I’m an idiot. (Though I don’t fully regret it because I met my husband)
I was retail until 2022 when I got a 11-month SWE job but they wanted senior and I was fully honest about being JR. fired me. That was last year. Since then I worked for another company that barely paid me enough to live. So I moved from FL to Austin, TX and got another job in December. That one I got in August or September. So only a few months. The one in December laid me off in Feb due to financial issues (supposedly). Said they would hire me back though.
Then I was unemployed for a month and got this last job in March.
So I have a spotty professional career but I have been practicing and learning so much in my free time that I consider myself a senior front end SWE and JR back end SWE or JR full stack SWE.
Been applying for jobs over the last 2 weeks but I know the market is crap.
I’m worried I’ll run out of TX unemployment and then have to get retail jobs which will barely pay me enough to live.
We don’t live extravagant. Husband has celiac disease. We shop at Whole Foods but frequently check prices between HEB and Walmart and target and everywhere else is more expensive for what we get. We stick with chicken and shrimp and salads mostly.
All our expenses are the lowest they can be. We rarely eat out and don’t spend money on things we don’t need. Husband is very frugal and isn’t even getting his hair cut until I have a job. I don’t cut my hair or do my nails or do any of that girly crap. I hate coffee so we don’t spend on that stuff either.
We frequently make sure our bills/expenses are as low as possible.
Yet $50k a year or less after taxes will not sustain us. Husband has Autism so can’t work. Once I get a job he plans to sell coral so he will have some income and he has some disability from the VA but that’s it.
My last job was paying us $100k and we barely saved $1k/mo due to expenses. Again nothing changed between then and now. We spend the same amount.
So now I feel like I’m gonna have to get 2 jobs if I don’t get a job and I’ll never see my husband and I don’t want to live like that.
How do I deal with the disappointment of being fired for a lie and not having a stable job/income ? I feel like I’m drowning.

TLDR: Ex attempted suicide while we were together and broke up with me soon after. Over the past year I have continued to reach out to her every few months or so to see how she is going, and to see if there is any chance we could be in each other's lives again (be it friends or relationship), even though she has expressed very much that she wants me to let her go and that she can't continue this ("this" being the talking to me).
Bit of a long post, sorry, but here goes.
Just over a year ago at the beginning of 2023, while we were dating, my Ex made a suicide attempt and very nearly didn't make it through. Obviously, this was a very tough time for her, and everyone close to her. Her family and I did all we could to offer support and be there for her during the recovery time. She went back home to her parents' place, in another city, after being released from hospital but only stayed a few days as she couldn't take it and just wanted to go back to her "normal" life. She is very much of the stubborn type and doesn't like to be given help by other people and feels like she has to do things herself. She also is very hard on herself, and I believe she feels a lot of self-blame and guilt for what happened (this is important for later on).
She was admitted to a mental health ward shortly after getting out of hospital which devastated her and obviously threw her "normal" life out the window. All she wanted to do after getting out of hospital was get back to her flat, back to her job, back to uni, and just continue on. I would call her on the phone most nights and offer to visit but she would refuse the visit as she didn't want me to "see her like this and in this place". Eventually they allowed her time out, like 4 hours a day and we would catch up during these times when we could, a lot of the time she wasn't up for it which I understood.
She got out of the ward about 2 months after being admitted and it was a tough month afterwards. She was obviously not feeling well about the whole situation and wasn't anywhere close to getting "better". At one point she even expressed to me how she still wanted to die. I was always very supportive of her, encouraging her to seek help via therapy, talking to her about it, encouraging her to come on walks/gym with me and whatever I thought might lift her mood. I made it very clear to her that I don't have any resentment toward her or any ill feelings for what happened and that I only wanted to do whatever I could to help her get better, I really cared for her and loved her.
Unfortunately, after this tough month she decided to call it quits, claiming she thinks it will be better for both of us, that I deserve better, that she cares enough about me to not fuck me around... I agreed at the time saying that it probably is for the best, something I regret to this day and wish I fought a little more. There were a few instances before this in our relationship we she expressed that she thinks we should break up, not exactly pulling the pin, rather expressing her feelings, and I have talked her out of it and changed her mind (now I see why, she was most likely having thoughts about attempting suicide at this point).
After this breakup we talked a little over the next couple of weeks, seeing each other at the gym a couple times but it eventually got too much for her and she expressed this, so I suggested we got no contact, she agreed. This was probably the toughest time of my life as I not only was deeply saddened by our breakup as I loved her greatly, but I also worried a shit ton about whether or not she would be here when I woke up the next day. We remained in no contact for about 1 month I think until we spotted each other at the gym again and talked there, I then texted her after and tried to start a conversation, we talked for a little bit until she expressed how this needs to stop and she wants me to move on and let her go. A month after this her flat had a party and she invited me over, we have a small rekindling for a couple days but eventually it got to the same end result.
Since our initial breakup I have learned that she has been back to the mental ward two more times, the second being after making another suicide attempt. By coincidence, I reached out to her during both of these times and remained in contact until she was out, when she would call it quits shortly after. I think talking to me helped get her through it a little bit. The second time she expressed still that she doesn't really see any alternative future than her ending herself.
In short, every few months or so, I have reached out again via txt, she is initially very hesitant, but we normally continue talking for a little while until eventually we get to a point where she get very emotional and calls it quits again.
She has expressed to me each time these talks come to an end that she just wants me to let her go. She makes it very clear that she loved me very much and cares for me greatly, but she just wants me to move on and that she can't continue this. The problem is, I just can't stop worrying about her and obviously don't want to see her go. I also desire heavily to be a part of her life again. After not talking to her for a couple of months or more, I get a MASSIVE urge to reach out and check up on her, talk to her, that I just can't seem to shake. I get heavily down in my own life during these times as I can't think of anything else. I almost believe that if I don't reach out to her than I am giving up on her and feel as though I am turning my back on a loved one in their time of need. I also can't help but feel the reason she wants me to let her go and move on is that she is still planning on making another attempt and wants to lessen the impact on me as much as possible. Ofc, I would be destroyed either way.
I am writing this post as I am once again feeling these urges and struggling to decide what I should do.
I want to do everything within my power to help her through this time, but I feel like she is pushing/has pushed me away not because she doesn't want a relationship with me, but because she feels extremely guilty about what happened. She believes she has hurt me greatly and wears a lot of blame because of that, she even said that she breaks down when I text her as she feels so sorry for what she did to me. I have expressed to her many times that I don't see it that way and that there is nothing else I would rather do than to "help" her, that I can't "save" her, I just want to be there for her and support her.
So, am I wrong for continuing to reach out to my Ex?
Bit of background info, we only dated for 7 months total and were not living with each other. Even though it was short, she made me feel ways that I have never felt before and we had a very strong connection.

Just to preface this, i've genuinely never dated before. She's my first girlfriend ever, at 26.
I buy her things or pay both our ways whenever we go out. Like when i take her to a movie, i usually cover it all myself. I bought her dinner and paid her shoe rental when we went bowling. Plus i bought her flowers. It's just what i've always assumed a guy does for his date. (Am i wrong for thinking that? i genuinely don't know. I'm new to this and only know what i've seen in movies/tv)
She always does appreciate it, like she seems genuinely moved by it. She'll get emotional, hug me and tell me i either don't need to do it or offers to pay me back. There's also been a couple times where she bought something for herself or me on dates so i'm not covering it 100% (Like after i covered the meal and our shoe rental, she bought her own drink just for example).
Currently, she's between jobs. We were talking on the phone and she was talking about her favorite desserts and in that same conversation, she mentioned how she's struggling financially. She's relying on her savings and her parents help her, but they're trying to get her more independent. I told her if she needed anything to tell me, but she said she's afraid to ask people for things and only takes help that's offered. So i offered to buy her some groceries. At first, i offered to buy her this ice cream she mentioned that she loved, then i asked later if she needed anything else while i was out. Which she accepted, she give me a list of a few things and it was a little pricey (The bill was a little over80 dollars).
I take it to her house and her dad sees the bags and really seems unhappy about the amount of food. Like he wasn't rude or aggressive to me, but there was this tension in the air. Like he wants me gone.
And later, my gf calls me and says her dad fussed at her. He made her feel bad because she got that stuff for free and didn't pay me back anything. I made it clear i did it cause i really like her and i know she's been struggling to get a job.I wanted to help her.
She told me that he doesn't want her to be taking advantage of me and that i was spoiling her. She told me "She eats well"
And now, 3 days later, she hasn't really talked to me since then (we talked almost every day prior) so i think i might've messed up. Either by buying the groceries for her or by just generally buying her gifts and things
She makes it seem like he thought i was spoiling her or that she was taking advantage of me and that's why he fussed at her. She also said it might be because she didn't have permission to have me over or didn't tell them first. I don't know.
Her dad was nice to me, but he seemed like he was trying to kind of...get me out of their house. He told me "You don't wanna keep your ride waiting" and how she "Has a job interview this afternoon". But we shook hands and he asked me about my job.

AITB for buying my girlfriend groceries?
Just to preface this, i've genuinely never dated before. She's my first girlfriend ever, at 26.
I usually do buy her things or pay both our ways whenever we go out. Like when i take her to a movie, i usually cover it all myself. I bought her dinner and paid her shoe rental when we went bowling. Plus i've bought her gifts, like the groceries and i bought her flowers. It's just what i've always assumed a guy does for his date. (Am i wrong for thinking that, i genuinely don't know. I'm new to this and only know what i've seen in movies/tv)
She always does appreciate it, like she seems genuinely moved by it. She'll get emotional, hug me and tell me i either don't need to do it or offers to pay me back. There's also been a couple times where she bought something for herself or me on dates so i'm not covering it 100% (Like after i covered the meal and our shoe rental, she bought her own drink just for example).
Currently, she's between jobs. We were talking on the phone and she was talking about her favorite desserts and in that same conversation, she mentioned how she's struggling financially. She's relying on her savings and her parents help her, but they're trying to get her more independent. I told her if she needed anything to tell me, but she said she's afraid to ask people for things and only takes help that's offered. So i offered to buy her some groceries. At first, i offered to buy her this ice cream she mentioned that she loved, then i asked later if she needed anything else while i was out. Which she accepted, she give me a list of a few things and it was a little pricey (The bill was a little over80 dollars).
I take it to her house and her dad sees the bags and really seems unhappy about the amount of food. Like he wasn't rude or aggressive to me, but there was this tension in the air. Like he wants me gone.
And later, my gf calls me and says her dad fussed at her. He made her feel bad because she got that stuff for free and didn't pay me back anything. I made it clear i did it cause i really like her and i know she's been struggling to get a job.I wanted to help her.
She told me that he doesn't want her to be taking advantage of me and that i was spoiling her. She told me "She eats well"
And now, 3 days later, she hasn't really talked to me since then (we talked almost every day prior) so i think i might've messed up. Either by buying the groceries for her or by just generally buying her gifts and things (IE: i bought her some flowers, the food, i usually pay whatever food bills when we eat out)
I don't know what the issue is. She makes it seem like he thought i was spoiling her or that she was taking advantage of me and that's why he fussed at her. Or maybe he was offended by me giving her the food instead of him as the dad (Her family is a little traditional christian type). She also said it might be because she didn't have permission to have me over or didn't tell them first. I don't know.
Her dad was nice to me, but he seemed like he was trying to kind of...get me out of their house. He told me "You don't wanna keep your ride waiting" and how she "Has a job interview this afternoon". But we shook hands and he asked me about my job.
But yeah, i mean...it got her fussed at and she hasn't really been engaged in talking to me since. So i think i might've gone too far.

Hey everyone!
I was wondering how y’all went about getting letters of recommendation (my school doesn’t do a committee letter). Right now, I just finished my sophomore year and was thinking about storing LORs from physicians I’ve shadowed on inter folio. I’m a bit conflicted on if I’m asking for it way too early, I just feel as if writing an LOR would be much better if the experience is still fresh in that physician’s mind as opposed to asking them two years later when they might have forgotten some details. I’m curious to see what y’all think?

I will be a first time renter with my partner in England later this year. We are coming from abroad and are trying hard to figure out all the things we need to get in order to minimize any down time.
Ideally we would like to find a place and make a contract while we are still here, and then fly over, land, and move into a furnished place.
One thing that worries us is the reference letter system that seems to be prevalent in the UK. What exactly would constitute an acceptable reference letter? How many do land owners usually require?
Our only experience living in the UK is my partner who stayed on campus accommodation for 1 year. Could we ask the university to write a letter as a reference? She did have a monthly obligation to pay the monthly fee. And her deposit was returned in full, showing that there was no damage done to the rented room.
We also rented a room in a couple's house via SpareRoom. We stayed with them for about 5 out of 7 days of the week for a total of 2 months. Despite the short duration, could I ask them for a letter of reference that might be accepted?
If those two are not acceptable, are there any other options that we might have? For example, are there estate agents that specialise in working with people with no references or no history of income in the UK? The income thing might be a problem too but my partner will be able to prove that she will be receiving full funding that can support her living costs for the entire period she intends to stay there. But for references, we only have those two options.

***** I am mainly sending this because I want my evidence back and because I’m pissed that the police department allowed this to happen with next to 0 consequences. Names and identifying info redacted. Let me know if I should change anything, I genuinely am thinking about sending this to whoever I can find emails for at my local PD.
To Whomever This May Concern,
My name is *. I am 21 years old and am a recent graduate of the University *. I have made the difficult decision to write this letter because I am truly disgusted and horrified by the manner in which ** County, the ***** Police Department, and the Child Advocacy Center of *****, NY handled my allegations of rape, sexual assault, and stalking that were filed in 2019. I have allowed myself to move on and grow from this atrocious act that has significantly impacted my life, but my development as a functional, healthy adult has been drastically hindered due to the treatment and negligent investigation into this case.
I would like to describe my story in order to fully convey my frustrations. When I was fifteen years old in late July of 2018, just after my freshman year of high school, I began babysitting the child of a thirty-six-year-old man who my family and I knew quite well and had considered a family friend since I can remember. The premise of the childcare was to assist this man with daily tasks regarding his three-year-old daughter. The man in question was unemployed, but had a difficult time caring for his autistic child alone due to his anger issues, as recognized by the Department of Social Services.
When I began working for this family, the man in question, ****** (*) was in the home at all times in which I was present in the home. The events that led up to the detrimental and life-changing abuse that I experienced are too difficult to describe in one email. To summarize, this man groomed me, sexually assaulted me, and raped me on several occasions in his home over the course of six months. ** sexually abused me in his home, at my home, and in a vehicle. He bragged to his close friends, and specifically, his neighbor ***** and friend ****** about the things he had done to me. These witnesses were willing to comply with any investigation at the time of these events, but were not ever asked to answer questions. In addition, this man isolated me from family and friends, threatened to murder my entire family, and stalked me for a year after I ceased contact with him, which included 5+ drives by my home daily, waiting outside of my place of employment, and cyberstalking. This man used hard drugs in front of me and forced me to participate in and witness several illegal acts. I cannot convey with strong enough language, the impact that these events had on me as a naïve and innocent teenager. He genuinely ruined my life and I deal with the effects every single day.
These events have seriously impacted my development into an adult, and hindered my growth on levels that the recipient of this email may not comprehend. During the end of my relationship with this individual, I had realized that this situation was extremely unsafe and had attempted to break contact. He threatened suicide as a punishment if I left him, so I agreed to meet with him at ******** high school in the mornings after I had gotten off the bus, as I was not yet old enough to drive myself. He forced me to remain in his vehicle from 8am until 9:30am during school hours for multiple days in a row. Several times during these meetings, in the parking lot of the school, he sexually abused me and at other times, drove at dangerous speeds with me in the vehicle on Route 8 in *******. School officials and police officers were well aware of these events after my whereabouts during several of these mornings had been discovered. This individual was then arrested on charges of endangering the welfare of a child but was released on bond the very next day. After much difficulty and explaining, I was granted with a temporary restraining order, which did not stop his advances. To this day, when I return to my hometown to visit family, I am afraid for my safety as I have to see this man in public at a gas station or at a local restaurant.
After a few months, in 2019, I had realized that I wanted to tell my story and that I wanted this man to be held accountable for what he had put me through. At just 16 years old, I went through a series of interviews held at the Child Advocacy Center in ***, NY, which only further traumatized me. A female officer involved with my case made me feel as if I had brought this onto myself due to the sympathy I felt for my abuser and the guilt that I felt about everything that had occurred. To clarify, I was a victim of abuse as a child and did not fully comprehend the extent of said abuse. The female officer was unwilling to recognize that I was a vulnerable, disadvantaged child who did not have the means to advocate for myself. Another male officer, Detective **** collected evidence from me, including an expensive necklace given to me by my abuser with, to my knowledge, a value of $3,000, as well as a letter from him where he confessed his love and relationship with me. He looked me in the eye and promised that I would receive justice. This officer never contacted me again after the interview. If nothing is going to be done about this rage-filled, aggressive, and dangerous pedophile, I would like the necklace and letter back that was entered into evidence in 2019.
I will never understand how a person can be subjected to such atrocious and vile acts, and nothing will be done about it. I am not a religious person, but I wake up every single morning praying that he has not found another victim to control and destroy. I pray for his family, especially his child, and I pray for those who have to encounter him. I pray for myself and my family, as my case has been dismissed and invalidated time and time again by the ***** police department. I pray that no other girl or woman has to experience the things I did, nor has to grow up so quickly the way I did. The treatment of this case taught me that I cannot rely on law enforcement, or on those who are supposed to protect me. I hope that my statements throughout this email encourages more thorough investigations into cases like mine. Women and girls need to be protected fiercely, strongly, and wholeheartedly. I was not provided with further resources to assist with my mental health during this time. The town I have grown up in and have always loved is forever tainted as the place where my life was ruined.
Today, as a strong, accomplished, and college-educated woman, I am extremely disappointed with the way my trauma and physical safety was dismissed by the ***** police department, ***** County as a whole, and the Child Advocacy Center of ******, NY. I will no longer be silenced by fear. I will say his name, as the guilt and shame I have experienced is not mine to bear. I am not looking for retribution, I am simply asking that you dedicate resources to believing victimized women and offering bare minimum, necessary support to women like me in the future.
Thank you for your time,