Online money transfer to friend and family

I'm 17 and am completely alone. I do school online so don't have any friends from school. I don't have a job because I'm so depressed everyday I can barely even get out of bed. All the friends I used to have stopped talking to me because I started to do drugs. I spend every day either wanting to die or high. I don't do my schoolwork and am failing. My family doesn't care. I don't want to sound like I'm blaming others for my problems, it's all my fault. For as long as I can remember I've been idly wanting to kill myself. I started smoking weed to make myself less depressed and it just spiraled from there. I've been doing dxm heavily, sometimes spending weeks high on it. I tried oxycodone yesterday. It didn't even get me high. I'm more upset that it didn't get me high than me getting to the point if doing it in the first place. Even the drugs i do don't feel as good anymore. I'm on a bunch of adderal,l Vyvanse, oxycodone, and tramadol right now. And not even that's enough to make me feel good. I desperately want harder drugs like meth and heroin. That want is the only thing keeping me alive at this point. I'm either going to end up a drug addict or killing myself. And no one fucking cares.

Hi friends! Long post ahead!
I (23F) got a brain MRI Monday and received the results within the hour. However, the radiologist’s report seems to lack any specificity that I am seeing others describe their MRIs with. The report states: “Mild periventricular white matter changes are identified.. These may be from migraine headaches.” Does this mean lesions? I just feel so lost and got these results through MyChart and haven’t been contacted by provider.
For background, I do have a history of migraines that only affect my left side (behind the eye pain, muscle weakness during episodes) that last for days a time. No migraine medication has helped OTC or prescribed.
My dad was diagnosed with MS in 2020 after YEARS of being misdiagnosed. Since it has been left untreated for 10+ years, his symptoms are very severe and I have learned a lot about MS while being a main caregiver for him.
About 2 months ago, I noticed my left arm/hand were a lot weaker than they used to be, but chalked it up to having broken that wrist twice. However, I started to notice that at work when typing (receptionist), my hand would go numb or feel weak and not be able to move or grasp things like normal. My fingers will also spasm and shake randomly at rest. I work at an orthopaedic doctor’s office and took advantage of the free services and saw our hand specialist. He ordered an MRI to check for cysts and nothing came up. He then ordered some rheumatology labs to rule out rheumatoid arthritis. Those came back with elevated CRP and sed rate, showing lots of inflammation. I brought this to my PCP, who is an amazing diagnostician (literally like House, MD) and he ordered more labs to test for lupus. Those all came back negative.
Since then, I’ve started to pay more attention to certain symptoms. EXTREME fatigue (sleeping for 14 hours at a time, which I have never done/wanted to do in my life), serious brain fog and trouble speaking (tripping over words, not being able to find the right word or losing my thought mid-sentence), losing balance and vertigo, along with the migraines, and nerve pain, numbness, and weakness on the left side extremities.
PCP ordered a brain MRI to look for MS due to my family’s history (he is also my dad’s PCP).
I guess I’m just asking for some advice or insight in this long diagnosis process. Still waiting to hear back from PCP on a follow-up. Considering my family history and symptoms, I think MS is very likely, but am confused by the lack of specificity in the radiology report. Any insight, advice, or encouragement would be very much appreciated. :)

I adopted my cat when he was only 2 months old and he crossed the rainbow bridge last night at the young age of 6. Everything was fine until one day I got home from work and noticed he wasn’t eating. A couple days went by and still no interest in eating and I saw his energy slowing down. Brought him to the vet and they sent me back with meds and told me he may have a severe case of pancreatitis that was affecting his liver because he had jaundice. As the days passed I noticed zero improvements. His energy was slowing down more and more, still no interest in food, he started hiding and laying down in random places and I even noticed he would take a couple steps and have to lay down.
I decided to take him to an emergency animal hospital to get some answers. They drew his blood and said his current state was incredibly complicated but long story short there was a 90% chance that cancer was rapidly spreading and there was a 10% chance of saving him. I was ready to do everything and spend whatever money it took to the save him but had to make the heart wrenching decision of putting him down to end his suffering. All of this happened within 7 days and I have no idea how to process this loss. He was my soul cat, my best friend, I thought we had so much more time left together.
I feel so guilty about going forward with the euthanasia even though the vet told me I was 100% doing the right thing. Saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life so far. It all happened so fast and he was still so young. I can’t help but blame myself for him getting sick even though I know he loved his life and he loved me and I took good care of him. I will be going to pick up his ashes once they are ready and I’m hoping having him back home with me will bring me the peace that I need.
I just need people right now who can relate to my pain, I truly don’t know how I’m going to get through this. 💔

Hey guys, Little unsure if what I'm looking at is suitable, overkill or not up to the task. I have a $3000aud budget for a laptop, but it'll also only be used a couple times a week. I'm happy to spend as much as needed but don't want to waste my money on overkill.
I really only want to do basic fusion 360 designing and slicing for 3d printing, and run an RC Simulator. I have a friend who runs his Sim on a HPx360 13 for reference.
I have found a couple of laptops around the $2k as pictures, but another much cheaper that I'm guessing is a little older tech it may well be suitable for my requirements.
Any suggestions or comments are welcome. Happy to look at other laptops also.
Below are the requirements for the Sim; Requirements: AMD/ATI Radeon 9500, NVIDIA GeForce 5 FX, Intel GMA 4500, or better, supporting OpenGL 2.0 or better. The download size is approx. 450 MB.
Thanks in advance!

I’ve know this man since I was 3, always enamored with him. Tried dating our teenage years but it never worked out. FF 20 years & after my divorcing a narcissist psycho and him leaving his cheating wife..we’re giving it a go. It’s been almost 5 months, he’s over my house where I pay a ridiculous amount of money more than his own place, I keep sending things I could sell easily that my daughter outgrew or never used to his daughter just a few years younger than mine. We still go Dutch if we go out to eat. I’m still struggling to pay my rent and feed him and his kid/everyone else myself. He drives to me because he has shared custody & I have sole of my daughter(father is pos 30k behind in support). I’ve brought up living together before and was shot down because of his pending D etc, but I asked again today because suddenly he’s bringing up fall registration for his child where he is. It’s an hour from me. I don’t understand. Next it’ll be well she’s already enrolled & I can’t pull her out because last time it was well she has friends at this school I can’t move her. But he’s about to switch schools anyways!
I wasn’t handed anything after my divorce which was basically me running from a psycho. I started all over. He was handed every furnishing he’d need, some by me, and lucky him his female best friends parents have rentals in a nice area & let him move in for free!! He hasn’t even said if he’s paying rent yet. This man is nonstop communicating and I mean nonstop about how much he loves me. I’m the one etc. but he won’t take the silliest of steps and move in? Or ask me to? Is this a red flag? He’s making plans to spend Friday night planting flowers but I broke my back all week planting them at my place by myself! It’s like double duty for no reason to me.
**Please if I’m wrong just say so?

I've never been able to find a church where I feel truly welcome or accepted. Although I wouldn't consider myself super religious, I think finding a church and having that sense of community would be nice. Id love to make new friends and find ways to be involved with stuff locally. I'm a single female 23 in the south, and don't have family ties to any local churches. I'm not sure where to begin, or how to feel comfortable going alone. Anyone have advice or suggestions? Specifically advice on finding churches with people around my age?

My father's elder brother moved to USA in 1981. He married an American woman in 1984 and has lived in USA ever since then. He opened an ICICI bank account around 1 year back.
He and my father( my father lives in India) jointly own a house in India which we are selling. My uncle passed away a couple of months back. Half of the amount from the sale needs to be given to my aunt. We now have a buyer who wishes to give us an advance.
1) Can my American aunt open an account in an Indian bank to receive the advance ?
2) Can my uncle's icici bank account be transferred in her name ?
The buyer wishes to deposit the money in an Indian bank account. Thank you.

Hello:D looking for people who just want to have a fun time gaming! nothing toxic or competitive plss!:'o l'd definitely love to make more online friends who can stay up late and play with me! especially since classes are over and i have loads of free time!! i just prefer people in the same time zone or area as me.
I'm down to try anything new! i really appreciate friends who can walk me through new games and give me pointers. I've gotten back into destiny 2, would love to get back into osrs, or even start wow for once!! fortnite is taking up a lot of my time though!..would love to join a squad or be someone’s duo here and there!!
please don't be afraid to reach out! I'm very open and try to be very genuine with others! i appreciate wanting a real friendship and am not the type to ghost! i really do enjoy chatting sometimes more than playing a game with someone! just all depends on how much we click ig:p

Sorry for the long post, but I really need vent and he doesn’t use Reddit. I married my husband at 18 after three months of dating him. We had been friends for a long time before that, and he was such a nice guy, kind and funny and supportive. I struggled with depression and had a hard time staying motivated to go to work each day, so he would send me a text every morning encouraging me to not let depression ruin my job. After three months of dating he insisted that I move in with him and his family. All I had heard about said family was how crazy they were, and I refused. But he said I could t take care of myself alone because of the depression and he needed me around. I agreed to move in. Then he said if I was going to in we had to get married. He said if I would t marry him it was a sign I never really loved him at all. I do love him, so I married him the next month. As soon as we were married he changed. He started yelling, belittling and insulting me every day. It didn’t matter what I did, it was always wrong. He would constantly accuse me of planning on leaving him, and say that I was untrustworthy. He didn’t let me talk to my family or friends, and took my car keys and phone to keep me home because he was convinced I was going to leave at any moment. When I’d try to walk out of the room during an argument because he was in my space and not backing up he’d either block the door or grab me and pull me away from the door. I was always upset and felt hurt, I wanted to leave but feel bad, I knew it would break his heart. He always promised to change and never did. but then I told him I was going to leave if he wouldn’t change. I said I loved him, but deserved better than what he was giving me. Now two months on it feels like he has changed, but I worry he’ll revert. He still makes comments that are insulting sometimes, but doesn’t take my keys or phone anymore. When he says something insulting and I point it out, he always says he has a right to make mistakes. He still gaslights me. I kinda want to leave, but I’m scared and don’t want to hurt his feelings anymore than I already have. It tore him up when I said I would leave the first time, and he still talks about how hurt he is and how he can’t trust me anymore. I feel stupid to marry someone that everyone warned me was manipulative. But I don’t have money for a divorce, and I know if I left he’d find me. I have a feeling he’ll go back to being mean soon, but what if I’m wrong and break his heart for no reason?

I’ve decided as of last year I decided to give my daughters dad a chance at working things out. We dont live together and never have. Since than we’ve been okay not great little discussion here and there over his half of responsibilities with our daughter or him just being out drinking all the time. As of recently I’ve been uncomfortable with his relationship with the girls at work but never made it a thing till recently where I make sly comment like go back to your go to your other family. Now he gets texts all hours of the night. I hate controversy so again usually make a comment and just go about our day. I got brave earlier this week. She sent him a photo of a bottle and a drink he opened it in front of me and I said oh man my boys was having something but it’s to late now everyone’s there. And I asked is that her way of saying she misses you or your missed at the party. He shut it down and said oh god here we go and didn’t respond to her. Anyways we went about our night. We only spend his days off together since he works at a car dealership, we’ve never lived together. But I stay over on his days off. The second it’s our day to go home, things usually feel off. Which I always figured ah work, he’s caught up. Yes I’ve complained here and there and I get it he’s working but sometimes it gets in the way of us time. But I digress. Yesterday he was quick to get off the phone usually we catch up at night talk for an hour or so but 15 minutes in he says I need to pack (he’s going to visit family this weekend) you should get some rest. And something just felt off, and I hung up like ok whatever. But I immediately text him, quick to get me off the phone hmm. And he says not even. So I say I should stop by to see what’s the need to get me off the phone - I’ve known this guy since I was 15 were 30 I sense things usually but have never acted on it. Well yesterday I did. He started saying this is where I always start things I checked his ig and there’s music, hookah, and I hear two girls voices. He has a roommate and his girl is usually over but i dont care about her I hear a second girls voice. So I proceed to text him “Enjoy your night with whatever bitches are in the house that you had a need to hide. Hope you realize how fucked up you are towards me and how’s disrespectful and shady it is.” I was going to go to bed but after an hour I couldn’t sleep and said I’ll lyk when I’m there. He said if I went we were done. And I replied what’s to hide. He send me a photo of his bag packed and mentioned he was drinking with his roommate and his girl but at this point I say the instan story (no we don’t have each other on ig but our ig are public so I viewed it) I continue to express something is off because I known I heard a second girls voice. After another hour of going back and forth I decide to drive over, In the midst of that he goes on to say two other friends suddenly show up after I told him swear to his grandmother that it was just the roommate and his girl while I was in route he wasn’t aware tho. I waited outside because I have no balls to go in, and was FaceTiming my cousin to ask if I was over reacting and what should I do. We’re still going back and forth that he has a lot of girls friends what’s my issue because I asked for proof that it was just the 4 he mentioned and he tells me “I have nothing to lie about, you’re just to caught up in the way my life is at the moment and it is what it is, I’m telling you I’m not doing anything and this lets me know that maybe I’m not ready for this type of commitment cause I’m still hanging out and you don’t like it”. Within 20 minutes of me waiting 3 people walk out, a guy and two girls. One of the girls being the one that always text him. And I couldnt make out the other girl. At this point idk what to do I tried to get get a video but failed since I was in ft. Again it was the girl her license plate even says her name. We haven’t spoken at all and I feel like absolute shit because I was gaslit so bad. I don’t understand what was the reason to lie to me about it if he’s been with the girl other times. Did I over reacted? Am I wrong ? Do I confront him when we do speak. I’m an emotion wreck in the sauna at the gym holding back tears because it was our first time we decided to try to work things out since the birth of my daughter and it took me a lot to not resent him for our past and what I’ve been through. No it hasn’t been a breeze we’ve had discussion but how else can I react when something felt off.

I’ve know this man since I was 3, always enamored with him. Tried dating our teenage years but it never worked out. FF 20 years & after my divorcing a narcissist psycho and him leaving his cheating wife..we’re giving it a go. It’s been almost 5 months, he’s over my house where I pay a ridiculous amount of money more than his own place, I keep sending things I could sell easily that my daughter outgrew or never used to his daughter just a few years younger than mine. We still go Dutch if we go out to eat. I’m still struggling to pay my rent and feed him and his kid/everyone else myself. He drives to me because he has shared custody & I have sole of my daughter(father is pos 30k behind in support). I’ve brought up living together before and was shot down because of his pending D etc, but I asked again today because suddenly he’s bringing up fall registration for his child where he is. It’s an hour from me. I don’t understand. Next it’ll be well she’s already enrolled & I can’t pull her out because last time it was well she has friends at this school I can’t move her. But he’s about to switch schools anyways!
I wasn’t handed anything after my divorce which was basically me running from a psycho. I started all over. He was handed every furnishing he’d need, some by me, and lucky him his female best friends parents have rentals in a nice area & let him move in for free!! He hasn’t even said if he’s paying rent yet. This man is nonstop communicating and I mean nonstop about how much he loves me. I’m the one etc. but he won’t take the silliest of steps and move in? Or ask me to? Is this a red flag? He’s making plans to spend Friday night planting flowers but I broke my back all week planting them at my place by myself! It’s like double duty for no reason to me. Please if I’m wrong just say so.

How do I forget
I completely fell in love with this girl about a year ago. She would give me just enough energy in return to keep me chasing her. Which I feel extremely embarrassed about. But eventually the relationship got to a point where it almost felt equal. That’s all I wanted since I met her. I was so happy. She became the most important person in my life. Fast. ( I have no family ) I’m good at making friends but I just lack that close connection with someone that I found in her. We were so toxic. She’d say I’m toxic but if I’m being honest I think it was completely her. We dated seriously twice. This is embarrassing to say but the first time we broke up she then got back with her ex. When they didn’t work out I took her back like nothing ever happened. A lack of self respect. She betrayed me. She keeps betraying me and yet I just chase and chase her. I think she’s so beautiful but so evil. I just want it to work. She has bpd and if you know anything about that then you can see why this relationship is so complicated. Idk I miss her so much. She gave me signs that she was messing with someone else so I asked and she pretty much confirmed it. I said bye and she didn’t give a shit. Completely devastated, a year of getting close to this person and learning them. For them to once again move on to someone else and completely throw me away. I’m nothing to her now, but a week ago she was in love with me. I tried to move on and all I can think about is her. I feel like she abused tf outa me emotionally and for some reason I keep coming back hoping that maybe she’ll change. Maybe she’ll treat me like someone that she loves. Maybe she’ll treat me the same way I treat her. I guess I’m more so venting. I recently got out of prison and had no one. Literally. I’ve really never had a family. I don’t have a parent and I feel like I’ll never be as important to her as she is to me. Just because she’s all I got. And maybe that’s why I took so much bullshit from her. How do I give this up.? How do I move on.? I feel like I’ve been so betrayed and I feel like I lost the only thing in my life I care about. I don’t want to get outa bed. I don’t want to do anything. There was a time that I would’ve died for her. And yet she thinks I’m such a bad person. I’ve got upset and done things to her out of anger and it consumes her to the point she hates me. Fuck what do I do. I never felt like this about anyone. I’m 23 and been in multiple relationships. Healthy relationships at that. I’d do anything for her and I to have a healthy relationship together. Logically I can’t see that happening. I think maybe she’s psychopath. Or maybe it’s just the bpd. She’ll always find something wrong with something I do. Then throw me away. That’s the pattern. I keep fighting for it. I’m happiest when I’m with her tho. When she loves me back for the brief moments she does. Now she’s probably on someone else It’s the worst thing I’ve ever felt. And I’ve been through some shit

I’m gonna apologize in advance for how long this post will be lol but I need an objective opinion, and where better to get it than from strangers online!
So I’m early-20s but have very little romantic experience due to growing up conventionally unattractive and 40 pounds overweight. Almost 2 years ago now, I got some work done and lost 30 of the pounds I want to lose and people, men especially, began treating me very differently. That said I’ve also had a handful of negative experiences (mostly from apps — getting rejected, insulted, stood up) that have prevented my dating confidence from fully flourishing.
Fast forward to last summer. Every summer my family goes away for a mini vacation and this time a family friend came to stay with us. I thought he was cute, but didn’t think I’d be his type as it was mentioned to me that he only goes for stereotypically very hot girls. But basically as soon as he arrived I could feel his eyes on me. The third day in particular I came downstairs in a very tight pink bathing suit and heard him physically trail off mid-sentence as I walked beside him to go outside. (I didn’t look up at him to confirm it was definitely me he was looking at though — for all I know he got a notification on his phone and it was just a coincidence). Right after that he came outside to have a conversation with me, he had a huge smile on his face and I remember thinking “Is this guy attracted to me?”
Later I went for a run and it was mentioned to me when I got back that he was checking me out as I was running back, but I didn’t think much of it because he also has a super high sex drive and will check out anyone who moves. The next day, I tried to scoot next to him when I was showing him something on my phone, but he moved away from me. I thought “Okay, I must have misunderstood, he’s not into me,” but when we were having a conversation about dating and I said something he really liked, he got this huge smile on his face and said “Yeahh …” while nodding in this long way.
At another point we were talking about social media and I mentioned recently getting on Instagram for the first time and he said “I’ll follow you,” but I think he was just being friendly/polite. He was also openly discussing other women he found attractive in front of me and why he did (celebrities, mutual friends, etc) which made me think he wasn’t putting me in the dating category. He shared a story with a group of us about his HS girlfriend not wanting to have sex with him that he meant to be funny, and when he got to the sex part he did turn to look at me, but this might have just been a coincidence.
At other points throughout the trip I’d feel his eyes on me while I was in bathing suits and then feel him frantically look away if I was say, bending over or adjusting my bikini.
The last night of the trip we were all in the hot tub watching a movie on a projector. I was scooting closer at one point just to try to see the projector better, but I think he must have thought I was moving closer to him because he physically got out of the hot tub to watch from the pool, which felt hurtful — I wasn’t trying to make him uncomfortable.
Right before he left, I said, “It was really nice having you here.” He seemed taken aback, paused for a sec, and muttered quickly “Uh, yeah, it was great hanging out with you” before leaving.
I thought at that point it was a done deal, especially because shortly thereafter he got a girlfriend. At a big beach party he came to with the new gf while they were still casual I did feel him checking me out a ton (to be fair I was in a very skimpy outfit), and at one point when we were talking one on one and his gf came to sit with us I kept waiting for him to look up to acknowledge her but he didn’t until I made a joke he didn’t like. He cut me off mid sentence when I was talking in a group at one point, but then turned to look back at me when I made a joke about wanting to post thirst traps on IG. (At this point he’d been following me for a couple of weeks and never interacted w any of my content.) To be clear he was also SUPER into his literal gf during that party: sneaking away w her, smiling at her a ton, being cuddly etc. and ignored me at one point to hang w her too.
About a month later, at another point when they were still casual but beginning to get more serious, he came over to my family’s place for dinner one night. I had some friends over and had moved on at this point as like, plenty of fish in the sea and all that. When I looked over at one point from my group I saw him giving me this SUPER intense look — there’s no other way to describe it. It was actually making me uncomfortable, I thought, did I make this guy mad or something??
Fast forward a few months, he’s still with his gf and they’re fairly serious. We’re all at a party for some mutual friends, and I feel his eyes following me across the room. It was also mentioned to me that he kept stealing peaks at me at a cocktail party earlier too.
So story over. I want to make it clear that I’m not harboring feelings for this guy at all, we’re verrrrry different people and even if he was interested in me I would not want to date him in any real way. (I’d hook up with him, but that’s about it.) I respect the fact that he’s in a relationship and would never ever go after anyone’s boyfriend.
I’m asking because I’ll have to see him again in less than a month, and out of my own personal curiosity and for future reference if I ever find myself in a position like this again, I’m curious to know if you guys think this guy ever actually liked me, or if I was misinterpreting general friendliness/politeness as attraction?

I thought it would be a good time to post about my journey through these difficult conditions I’ve been going through. I’m about at the 3-3.5 month mark since this all started. It all happened 5 months ago when I injured my neck badly at the gym.
I was going through the toughest time of my life, severe anxiety, depression and my spirits were down from the injury. It was some crazy nerve pain and I felt like I wouldn’t be like myself again. Pain doctor prescribed me Meloxicam, Methyl Prednisone, Tizanidine, Cyclobenzaprine and Gabapentin. What a cocktail that was. I took all of that but then stopped taking them because I did not like the way I felt on all of those meds.
One night sleeping, I heard this ringing in my ear and I was like what am I hearing. It put me in a panic and kept me up all night. I couldn’t sleep then I started looking online about tinnitus, doom scrolling the T Reddit. I went to the doctor to get an ear wax removal. She looked in my ears and said I had no wax. She blew some air in my ears, which was a terrible idea and she said I had some fluid in there. Prescribed me Zyrtec the C name of it and Flonase. I took that stuff and it didn’t really help.
Then here comes the ear sensitivities. Noises started sounding louder to me, I was getting crazy sound distortions. I would hear whistling over fans and running water. It was driving me nuts. I’ve never experienced anything like this. Then I searched online and found the hyperacusis sub. I went down a rabbit hole of non stop reading all day and night.
I was in a really dark place. I’ve never been so depressed in my life. Digital audio was harsh to my ears. I couldn’t watch tv, listen to Instagram reels, packaging tape would sound brutal, beeping noises would drive me nuts, I had to have my volume down to a quarter and have it on speaker to talk on the phone. Music was sounding weird with crazy sounds in it. The loud car mufflers would make me jump and panic.
I’ve been a dj all my life. I just turned 37 years old. Music is my life. I haven’t touched the decks since this happened. I would read all the horror stories on here and on Tinnatistalk. People said they couldn’t leave their rooms, shower with earplugs. I thought my life was over and that this is what it was going to be now.
For days and months, this is all I would be doing is doomscrolling and reading all the stories of H and T. I knew this was not good for my mental health. But I want to share with you all that I’m doing much better than when this first started.
I take L Theanine, magnesium glycinate, ginko biloba, vitamin B complex, vitamin D, multivitamin, zinc and magnesium threonate. For sleep, I take gaba, l tryptophan and melatonin. My sleep has gotten much better.
The sound distortions have faded. Music is sounding normal to me now and I can listen to house music all day long now. In the beginning I couldn’t even listen to any music. My ttts spasms have calmed down. At the height of this my ears would be so sore from all the spasms. I can handle going to the gym, restaurants, theme parks, hanging with friends, walking at the park, supermarkets.
I will not go to concerts, raves, movies and dj yet. Maybe down the line when I recover more but I’m so happy to be making progress like this. I felt it was right to write about my journey and give back. Because when I was at my darkest days, people I reached out to on here helped me out. Thank you so much and I hope everybody who is going through this gets better because this is truly debilitating.

hi there! i am an amateur baker but venturing into wedding cakes as a side business mostly for friends and family. I hope that after the weddings i have lined up this year, i can grow this side hustle to more clientele.
my question is, how much is a wedding cake serving 150? how much are the pro's charging? i will charge quite a bit less since i'm just starting out, but I definitely don't want to sell myself too short. also the cost of materials isnt cheap in this business either. thanks :)

I have BPD and have been dealing with depression and anxiety since I was a kid. On meds for 10 years. Basically I’m relapsing again after having two good years thanks to Mirtazipine and lexapro. I feel like an absolute failure of a person but I feel so guilty?.
I’m nearly 30 and I have absolutely no money, no relationship, failing college, living at home, constantly worrying about my future and falling at every hurdle. I’m just tired. I’m burned out. I have good friends but I’m so damn lonely. My self esteem is low, my confidence is shot, I feel so negative and I’m guilty about passing off that negativity on others. Idk what I even want in life anymore. I feel so confused about my life direction and the only thing I’m sure of is that I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep. Like I’m functioning but barely. I don’t eat properly and when I do it’s junk. I haven’t showered in 2 weeks because I just can’t bare it. I leave the house but I dread it and I talk to people and laugh and joke but it feels hollow. I feel like my social skills and joy for things is gone. I’m scared and I’m very aware it’s getting worse but I’m afraid to drop the ball.
Everything seems like a monumental task even every day things and I cry all the time.
I said it to my psych but it’s the public system so I get one 10minute appointment every 6 months. My last appointment was March and because I’m doing bad my next one is at the end of May. I’m counting down the days until the 29th.

I have everything and still want to die
I found my father’s full loaded handgun in the garage today. It feels like such an easy way out. However, I shouldn’t feel like this because I have everything. A nice family, good academics, money, and friends. I have everything so good yet I don’t want to live any longer. It’s feels ridiculous that I feel like killing my self when there’s so many people who suffer much more whilst I don’t. I keep thinking about that gun and whether or not to end it all.
I don’t deserve anything I have. I don’t want to be here anymore. I feel like such a selfish asshole for being unable to fully appreciate my life. I even wonder if I want to die or to be able to feel joy. Thanks for listening to some angsty teen.

for privacy’s sake i’m trying to keep information about my family as vague as possible. my uncle has been going through an extremely rough patch for the past year, a traumatic event & legal troubles that followed. he lives next door to his parents (my grandparents) and in november or december of 2023, his dog passed away. his dog was his best friend and was taken care of by both him and his parents. he didn’t take it too hard surprisingly, but got a new dog that i first met around christmas.
during christmas, we visited my grandparents’ house and were greeted by a hyperactive jack russell mix puppy, about 6 months old and already very strong. he was a sweet and excited puppy going through his teething phase, and those sharp little teeth hurt! i wasnt too upset until my uncle started hitting him to get him to stop. training a dog not to bite at this young age is vital, but this is not training. it was horrifying. my uncle’s patience for the dog was obviously wearing thin, and this was the first time i’d seen them together.
flash forward to March of this year and we went to visit our grandparents. the dog was in their house (understandable due to my uncle’s living situation, but somewhat strange since this is a very strong and active dog being watched by two people in their seventies) and he was TERRIFIED of us. whining, growling, hiding… it was just myself, my brother, and my mom visiting, but i guess they don’t get visitors often. we asked if our uncle was still taking care of his dog and no, he wasn’t. my grandma explained that he was frustrated with the dog and no longer wanted him, so he left him with his parents and didn’t play with or watch the dog anymore. after an hour or so the dog eventually warmed up and let me pet him, and he was such a sweet cuddlebug. still a young, strong, and energetic dog, but a very sweet one.
today we visited again for a birthday and the dog was terrified of us yet again. almost as soon as we stepped in and he started crying and barking, my grandpa told us that he was now wearing a shock collar to stop him from barking and biting. i was sick to my stomach. during the whole hour-long visit, he refused to come near me as i slowly stuck out a limp hand several feet away from him, avoided eye contact, and made slow movements & talked softly. i live 50/50 with my mom and dad and had just driven from my dad’s house where we have our own dog, so maybe he was scared of how i smelled or felt safer with my mom who looks more like my grandmother but either way he eventually started cuddling her but was still terrified of my brother and i. several times my grandfather threatened to use the shock collar — thank god he didn’t — and just the sight of the remote scared the dog to death. i asked my grandparents if they felt like they could take care of the dog, and my grandma said no, but my grandpa said he liked the dog and wasn’t giving it away.
i feel awful knowing that dog is in a house where he is being shocked, possibly hit, and cannot have his needs met as a burly and energetic breed by two mid-seventies people, one of whom has dementia and both of whom suffer with major health problems. my grandpa, bless his heart, is as stubborn as stubborn gets. he made it clear when i started hinting about asking around and looking for fosters that he was keeping the dog. he’s resorting to yelling at the dog and using a shock collar as my grandmother’s dementia gets worse and my uncle’s legal battle over a very traumatic situation continues. he is not taking care of this dog and it’s not going to end well for either of them.
what would be the best way to approach the topic of surrender with my grandfather? he knows that i am studying to be a zoologist and care deeply about animals. i love him dearly and would never want to hurt his feelings, but the safety of the dog takes priority. i am not intending to take the dog for myself, my plan is to research local rescues and foster groups to find the home he needs.
tl;dr troubled uncle dumped energetic puppy with troubled grandparents, they’re not meeting his needs & are using a shock collar but refuse to give him up. how do i persuade stubborn grandparents to surrender the dog to a safe home?