How to make the middle finger on your cell phone

"why I can't make friends" rant, read if you want. (looking for emo friends/friend)
READ IF YOU WANT
why is it so hard to make friends?
m19 here from (still in) maryland, and lately i've realized how lonely I am, lmao. I have my hobbies and stuff but yet, I'm so lonely, i have one friend, who's been my friend since middle school, he's my bro. but i realized i legit have no friends..or a friend like me, here's some points I've seen/made 👇🏾
° fake people: there's too many fake people in the world today, worried about “worldly” bull crap or something stupid, wanting to be in drama, coming to you, then completely ignoring you or ghosting, I find it fake, sorta bummy and immature. people don't know the definition of a “friendship” or a “very close bond” like i'm gonna stick beside you no matter what, people don't seem to get that, then play victim when you call them out. people will use you, talk poorly of you, do all things wrong, i can't stand that. which is why i enjoy being more of a loner..i hate fake friends and i am not no fake friend, im sorta clingy
° people have weird interests/and are boring: this is, i guess controversial, tough one? but people have their interests but i've met some people (school/outside) that's into some weird crap, pronouns for one, i dislike folk whose interests are gender crap, not much into anime honestly, i do love harry potter though. i find a lot of people boring and never knowing how to have a conversation, never wanna be like “come over and chill, or let's watch a horror film” or anything like that, i've always wanted a male friend to explore stuff with, let's ride our skateboards around and learn tricks/let's ride through the night, i'd love to explore abandoned places honestly, guess i'm more of an that “emo boy that's always up to something”. i also love a childish person, stupid jokes/pranks are always the best, where's the trustworthy people who'd wanna skate all night and go to a pizza joint and chill at each other places all night watching horror films, (and i love horror. anyone seen the movie terrifer? the conjuring? house of 1000 corpses? lords of salem!!) talking about whatever, even deep conversations all night with pizza. play video games with me if you'd want, im a console player, i enjoy my xbox, we can facetime and play stupid stuff or id come to you and chill. who still plays minecraft lmao, im a huge lover of the grunge, skateboard theme, nighttime themed things, yeah i'm a slytherin 🐍. i can't find people like that. also, any other song writers out there? i love making my own music, rock is dope but it depends on the rock..
° bad places and everyone is untrustworthy/ghetto: i grew up in the hood, not to be prideful but it's sorta easy to see through people and know when stupid crap is going down. it's hard finding friends like you in the area you live in. this goes along with fake friends cause people are fake, users, and ghetto af. like what the hell? i mean like dude, if I'm your friend, i mean that, im not gonna use you for money or betray you for some chick or whoever. people don't seem to get that. i also find it stupid how guys, other males are such simps for women and will completely throw you under the bus for a woman, women do the same with men, it's fake af.
° i hate people/large crowds/groups: this i feel like a lot of people can relate to. i absolutely hate people and not on a “woke gen z” area, but on a “people do too much” level, yes people do too much and they always deny that they're doing too much. i hate big groups, because they always fall, which is a heartbreaker dude..it can be 4 of us, then 3, then 2, then none. i've always prefered a group of 3 or just one guy and myself. this gonna sound weird but i've always wanted a male friend, a guys guy really. i don't really go to skate parks, cause it's usually to many people, doing the most per usual, like there's one by the baltimore harbor, i'd rather go at night due to the amount of people there during the day. it sounds cheesy but i hate people. i really do.
° no one has my interest: this is the same as people having weird interests, but this is true. no one has the same interest as me, and i hear that people with the same interest are the ones that argue a lot, fall apart quickly, or just can't get along, i don't know how true that is entirely. but that's where the communication falls in, talk to me man. if there's an issue, open your mouth! don't be a pussy and keep it to yourself and talk poorly of me and hate me. that's not right, it's wack and lame af. people who do that really need to get themselves in check. like again, i love horror, i love the hell out of horror, its all I watch, anyone here watch mr.nightmare ? on youtube, also people enjoy stupid stuff and stay indoors to much. i get it, being in your space in your smelly room is cool and all, it's america, we hate it here, but personally i think there so much more, like I said I love night time stuff, abandoned houses/churches/stores, etc, i'm always down for it all, guess it's my emo horror obsession haha. anyone want to work and save up money together? where's the people like that who wouldn't steal your money, and dip off, like we save and use it for stuff like pizza, new skateboards, deep woods campfires and outings man. spending the night at each other's place, sneaking into spots! and one thing, building each other up, im the type to help you out, if you feel bad or something, let me know and id help, I know depression runs through a lot of people, and if I had that friend that in looking for in gonna be there, no matter what. that's just the kinda person I am, not satanic lol, just..emo? or grunge? i don't know..
° no one is loyal/have bad families/too sensitive: this is a tough one but im just gonna say it. people aways hated that I have no filter, not that I have a nasty mouth and I always have to put my opinion in stuff, i'm more so very quiet. i also have a dark sense of humor, im black, so i definitely do say racial jokes, not as a insult, but a little humor or whatever. dark humor is always the best. but i have no filter, i'm gonna tell you the truth of what it is, what I enjoy, what I hate, just point blank period, and people hate that, i'm nor gonna sugar coat anything! a true friendship circles and stays strong through truth and open words, if you can't handle that, something is honestly wrong with you fr. families, now. i won't judge you for having a bad home, but what i mean is, completely putting all that, that's not your responsibility in the way. i did that once, as an older sibling, i believe younger siblings aren't no one's responsibility, i once canceled plans to “watch and take care” of siblings when their old enough to watch themselves, which i regret. if you're having a bad time, you always got me there. which falls into loyal, people aren't loyal. which is basically people are fake. im a longterm friendship kinda dude. you're my homie, just like that.
° finally, judging and redflags: i don't judge at all, ask ill tell, but I don't judge at all. I don't see a point? none of us is perfect, so I don't see a point, saying what you feel is different than judging fr. same with redflags, guess mines would be im clingy 😂 i love clingy people as well, im not sure. but red flags falls into the same with, people do too much, people are fake, and users. and it amazes me completely how someone will use you, for however long, then completely ditch you in the end, or when you're caught, times get rough, or something like that. I really really hate that and that's what destroys friendships. don't really care if someone is clingy.
guess that's all, i think friendships in 2018-2024 are absolutely awful, and I hate that so much. there's no one else around really, like what the hell 😂 and still today, no friends. i be hoping i can find someone like me, like if you'll be there forever man mean that and stand on it. i think the future of friendships will die out honestly. no one can trust each other, no one can spend nights no more, go out, or anything..im not into politics, I don't care about presidents or anything, nor money, I need it, I know, which is why I'm still job searching, I just think there's more to a friendship besides money, arguing, drama, stupid stuff. that's it from me i guess 😂 just a lil rant since I joined this group. show me your skateboard, songs and favorite bands! mines is behemoth and a few grunge ones.. hopefully id find a friend ..

Kena: Bridge of Spirits is such a good game despite being so… well… basic.
It’s simple — almost overly so — yet it is beloved by so many seasoned and experienced gamers.
What I got curious about after playing the game myself and reading a number of pseudo-reviews online was how exactly it achieved this.
How did a package so entry-level-looking garner such respect by 201 and 301 students?
--
The ‘Fields’ region is a great example of Kena’s dichotomy.
It’s gorgeous and inviting, with sea-foamed vistas, lush landscape and rushing waterways. There’s a even a big, lovable pet bull towering over the myriad of cute little Rot dudes scampering through the foliage. The whole place is just friendly.
Why then, does it end up being one of the game’s longest, deepest and most complex sections? Consider its many scattered puzzles, which ask you to combine platforming, archery, environmental awareness and combat proficiency. There’s even a handful of red herring platforms that you can’t properly interact with until later in your puzzle solving endeavor.
The ‘Fields’ are a microcosm of the game as a whole. A childish, Pixar-esque shell which, when uncovered, reveals a complex, involved gameplay experience underneath.
Kena: Bridge of Spirits invites you to be a kid, but treats you like an adult. This is something very few games manage — or even attempt — and it’s what makes Kena so unique, memorable and special.
--
Kena crushes its tone and aesthetic on all fronts to create something that’s desirable and attainable to a group outside of hardcore gamers.
Kena’s visuals are youthful and welcoming by using cartoonish and fairytale-esque art design. The game’s companions do the same — the Rot are your constant brigade of adorable little plush-like, Pikimin-esque comrades who hop as you walk, munch on berries, clumsily trip over each other, and squeak in pitches that can only described as ‘cute.’ You can even give them little hats to wear. They’re pets and it’s all so mired in youthful innocence that I cringe even typing it.
From a distance, Kena appears childish and immature based on its outward appearance. That is, until you peel back its outer layer.
--
The game looks like something your five-year-old might enjoying toying with on your iPad, “you-got-games-on-yo-phone?” style. But there are four elements in its building blocks that make it a game not optimized for your five-year-old on their own;

1. Narrative
2. Puzzles
3. Platforming
4. Combat

Narrative
As far as the game’s story is concerned, it may begin bright and innocent enough, but it deals not-abstractly with death and loss.
Consider that all three boys you meet in the early game — Taro, Benni and Saiya are actually dead, I-see-dead-people style. Consider also that Kena’s entire journey revolves around the loss of her own father and her desire to reconnect with him.
Additionally, it is Toshi’s selfishness and his desire to be the hero that actually ends up bringing death and destruction to his village when he jumps the gun and kills and the mountain spirit in cold blood.
Merciless affronts on nature and an up-front dealing with death and grief are not exactly for the young of age, despite their youthful packaging.
Puzzles
It would be a waste of word count to explain in detail the steps necessary to complete certain puzzles in Kena just as a set of examples to prove the point.
If you’ve played or watched gameplay, you know the puzzles are surprisingly involved, consisting often of multiple steps to complete that build on each other and require the use of all of your abilities in tandem.
One of the bigger “ah-hah” moments I recall was when I realized I could order my Rot minions to move objects while Kena stood on top of said object in order to give me a leg up to jump to a previously unreachable ledge.
Platforming
Speaking of ledges, jumping to and from them is tight and precise in Kena.
Platforming challenges are often timed (your aura-bomb weapon only activates platforms for specifically-timed bursts). Combining their scheduled nature with the need to rotate them via precise archery, mid-air grappling segments and more makes for a movement experience that is involved enough to demand the player’s full attention for every tick of the clock.
Kena and her world’s gravity also have a decided, predictable weight to them that’s not exactly forgiving, meaning the act of jumping to and fro is exact while also requiring exactness.
Combat
Fighting the enemies of Kena is similarly involved.
The cadence with which the game throws opponents your way combined with the complexities of dealing meaningful damage to said opponents creates a combat scenario which demands the player fluidly wield and swap between both melee and ranged options while carefully managing space on the battlefield.
Kamikaze-style enemies often rush Kena in carefully-spaced and well-timed waves, while enemies with shields and shells hide their weak points from visibility. Enemies like this require certain sequences to beat — be it a well-placed bomb and arrow combo, a parry, or a maneuvering to an enemy’s backside.
Boss encounters lean into these mechanics but also present new wrinkles — The Hunter fight asks the player to rethink their tactics and find a way to deal with an airborne opponent who is apt at dodging bombs and arrows, for example.
The final few bosses ask you to take everything you’ve learned throughout your journey and apply it all at once, and if you don’t… it’s defeat for Kena.
--
The above sounds like I’m describing a souls-like with platforming elements as the ‘fresh take’ in addition to the enrapturing combat.
Games that provide this much of a challenging, involved experience are typically darker in tone — be it music, environment, or what-have-you. I don’t think too many people would call Kena ‘hard,’ but these are the same people who died 10+ times to The Hunter or Corrupted Toshi.
If this game had a darker, moodier skin, would more people describe it as hard or not for the faint of heart?
In this way, Kena: Bridge of Spirits is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
It is accessible to new players and younger gamers due to its pleasing and friendly atmosphere. But by its conclusion, it is likely to season them into better gamers. If a newbie gamer picks up Kena, they’re in for a surprise and (hopefully) delight when they find something deeper than that which they first expected.
On the other hand, Kena is a worthwhile experience for veteran gamers if they drop their toxic masculinity and play a goofy kids game with a female protagonist. This is a game that will undoubtedly earn their respect by requiring their attention, precision and commitment throughout its experience. Like the newbie gamers, gaming veterans are in for a surprise and (certainly) delight when they find something deeper than that which they first expected.
--
Kena: Bridge of Spirits is a good experience for everyone. By balancing being adorable with being difficult, it earns the respect and appreciation of everyone who plays it. Its accessibility makes it easy to recommend to anyone and the game thus earns itself a bigger audience as a result.
Its narrative and gameplay might not separate themselves in terms of newness from a saturated market, but the surprise and delight the game provides delivers an experience to its players that isn’t typical of the space.
By striking the balance between wolf and sheep, Kena elevates its quality to something beyond just the content within.
--
…and yet…
I can’t help but think, as I summarize this article, that if a game is for everyone, doesn’t that, on some level, mean it is also for no one?
I mean, when you look at the game’s narrative or gameplay, it’s not exactly reinventing the wheel here. In fact, Kena does just about nothing new. It spits out the same exact version of a game we’ve been playing for decades in the form of Tomb Raider or Uncharted or The Legend of Zelda or God of War.
Critically speaking, both the gameplay and narrative are pretty damn milquetoast.
You’re in a world infected by some arbitrary Darkness and since you’re Special and The Chosen One™ it’s your job to go around cleansing the world of evil using a combination of environmental platforming, lever and pressure plate puzzle-solving and lock-on-based, sword-swinging driven combat.
It wouldn’t be difficult to make the argument that Kena is bland.
But the discourse around the game just isn’t about that.
The game’s scored an 81 on Metacritic and has a 92% positive review rating on Steam at time of writing. It recouped its development costs in just one month, meaning every sale since then is hitting the bottom line.
People like this game.

Quick aside from me here on something that made me smile — when double-checking the score on Steam for the above info, I found these as the first two reviews at the very top of the queue: “yo wtf. bought this game to chill, why does it feels like im playing souls-like difficulty ass game HAHAHAH.” “Don’t be fooled by the graphics. This game can be a challenge at times, but it is worth the experience.”

So maybe being an experience for everyone really was the kicker?
Or, maybe, it was something else.
In fact, yeah, I can confidently say it was. It’s a game reviewer’s buzzword, but it’s oh-so apt here: polish.
--
The entire experience of playing Kena is smooth. There are no framerate drops, no bugs, no broken quests or puzzles, no desynced dialogue and facial animations. Not a single hiccup to speak of.
The game features exacting archery, precise platforming, telegraphed and accurate hitboxes, as well as an unimpeding camera, responsive and weighty combat and legible visual design that accurately communicates with the player.
You can move through Kena virtually unobstructed (until you come across a puzzle you can’t solve, but that’s your problem, not the game’s). Everything is built carefully and gels together in a cohesion that works so fluidly that playing Kena is simply frictionless.
The game’s developers — Ember Lab — nailed the fundamentals, paid attention to detail and play-tested perfectly. Their effort to go above and beyond saved this game from sinking into the obscurity of being completely and utterly Mid.
--
It’s frictionlessness that elevates Kena beyond itself. It makes the game greater than the sum of its parts. It makes Kena a complete, finished and polished experience.
Kena presents itself like it’s Disney Pixar’s latest goofy-ass, lame-ass, sub-par video game, but lying underneath the childish aesthetic is a challenging and engaging experience that’s not only a boon for all audiences of gamers, but a worthwhile one thanks to its extreme polish and dedication.
You should play it.

Kena: Bridge of Spirits is such a good game despite being so… well… basic.
It’s simple — almost overly so — yet it is beloved by so many seasoned and experienced gamers.
What I got curious about after playing the game myself and reading a number of pseudo-reviews online was how exactly it achieved this.
How did a package so entry-level-looking garner such respect by 201 and 301 students?
--
The ‘Fields’ region is a great example of Kena’s dichotomy.
It’s gorgeous and inviting, with sea-foamed vistas, lush landscape and rushing waterways. There’s a even a big, lovable pet bull towering over the myriad of cute little Rot dudes scampering through the foliage. The whole place is just friendly.
Why then, does it end up being one of the game’s longest, deepest and most complex sections? Consider its many scattered puzzles, which ask you to combine platforming, archery, environmental awareness and combat proficiency. There’s even a handful of red herring platforms that you can’t properly interact with until later in your puzzle solving endeavor.
The ‘Fields’ are a microcosm of the game as a whole. A childish, Pixar-esque shell which, when uncovered, reveals a complex, involved gameplay experience underneath.
Kena: Bridge of Spirits invites you to be a kid, but treats you like an adult. This is something very few games manage — or even attempt — and it’s what makes Kena so unique, memorable and special.
--
Kena crushes its tone and aesthetic on all fronts to create something that’s desirable and attainable to a group outside of hardcore gamers.
Kena’s visuals are youthful and welcoming by using cartoonish and fairytale-esque art design. The game’s companions do the same — the Rot are your constant brigade of adorable little plush-like, Pikimin-esque comrades who hop as you walk, munch on berries, clumsily trip over each other, and squeak in pitches that can only described as ‘cute.’ You can even give them little hats to wear. They’re pets and it’s all so mired in youthful innocence that I cringe even typing it.
From a distance, Kena appears childish and immature based on its outward appearance. That is, until you peel back its outer layer.
--
The game looks like something your five-year-old might enjoying toying with on your iPad, “you-got-games-on-yo-phone?” style. But there are four elements in its building blocks that make it a game not optimized for your five-year-old on their own;

1. Narrative
2. Puzzles
3. Platforming
4. Combat

Narrative
As far as the game’s story is concerned, it may begin bright and innocent enough, but it deals not-abstractly with death and loss.
Consider that all three boys you meet in the early game — Taro, Benni and Saiya are actually dead, I-see-dead-people style. Consider also that Kena’s entire journey revolves around the loss of her own father and her desire to reconnect with him.
Additionally, it is Toshi’s selfishness and his desire to be the hero that actually ends up bringing death and destruction to his village when he jumps the gun and kills and the mountain spirit in cold blood.
Merciless affronts on nature and an up-front dealing with death and grief are not exactly for the young of age, despite their youthful packaging.
Puzzles
It would be a waste of word count to explain in detail the steps necessary to complete certain puzzles in Kena just as a set of examples to prove the point.
If you’ve played or watched gameplay, you know the puzzles are surprisingly involved, consisting often of multiple steps to complete that build on each other and require the use of all of your abilities in tandem.
One of the bigger “ah-hah” moments I recall was when I realized I could order my Rot minions to move objects while Kena stood on top of said object in order to give me a leg up to jump to a previously unreachable ledge.
Platforming
Speaking of ledges, jumping to and from them is tight and precise in Kena.
Platforming challenges are often timed (your aura-bomb weapon only activates platforms for specifically-timed bursts). Combining their scheduled nature with the need to rotate them via precise archery, mid-air grappling segments and more makes for a movement experience that is involved enough to demand the player’s full attention for every tick of the clock.
Kena and her world’s gravity also have a decided, predictable weight to them that’s not exactly forgiving, meaning the act of jumping to and fro is exact while also requiring exactness.
Combat
Fighting the enemies of Kena is similarly involved.
The cadence with which the game throws opponents your way combined with the complexities of dealing meaningful damage to said opponents creates a combat scenario which demands the player fluidly wield and swap between both melee and ranged options while carefully managing space on the battlefield.
Kamikaze-style enemies often rush Kena in carefully-spaced and well-timed waves, while enemies with shields and shells hide their weak points from visibility. Enemies like this require certain sequences to beat — be it a well-placed bomb and arrow combo, a parry, or a maneuvering to an enemy’s backside.
Boss encounters lean into these mechanics but also present new wrinkles — The Hunter fight asks the player to rethink their tactics and find a way to deal with an airborne opponent who is apt at dodging bombs and arrows, for example.
The final few bosses ask you to take everything you’ve learned throughout your journey and apply it all at once, and if you don’t… it’s defeat for Kena.
--
The above sounds like I’m describing a souls-like with platforming elements as the ‘fresh take’ in addition to the enrapturing combat.
Games that provide this much of a challenging, involved experience are typically darker in tone — be it music, environment, or what-have-you. I don’t think too many people would call Kena ‘hard,’ but these are the same people who died 10+ times to The Hunter or Corrupted Toshi.
If this game had a darker, moodier skin, would more people describe it as hard or not for the faint of heart?
In this way, Kena: Bridge of Spirits is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
It is accessible to new players and younger gamers due to its pleasing and friendly atmosphere. But by its conclusion, it is likely to season them into better gamers. If a newbie gamer picks up Kena, they’re in for a surprise and (hopefully) delight when they find something deeper than that which they first expected.
On the other hand, Kena is a worthwhile experience for veteran gamers if they drop their toxic masculinity and play a goofy kids game with a female protagonist. This is a game that will undoubtedly earn their respect by requiring their attention, precision and commitment throughout its experience. Like the newbie gamers, gaming veterans are in for a surprise and (certainly) delight when they find something deeper than that which they first expected.
--
Kena: Bridge of Spirits is a good experience for everyone. By balancing being adorable with being difficult, it earns the respect and appreciation of everyone who plays it. Its accessibility makes it easy to recommend to anyone and the game thus earns itself a bigger audience as a result.
Its narrative and gameplay might not separate themselves in terms of newness from a saturated market, but the surprise and delight the game provides delivers an experience to its players that isn’t typical of the space.
By striking the balance between wolf and sheep, Kena elevates its quality to something beyond just the content within.
--
…and yet…
I can’t help but think, as I summarize this article, that if a game is for everyone, doesn’t that, on some level, mean it is also for no one?
I mean, when you look at the game’s narrative or gameplay, it’s not exactly reinventing the wheel here. In fact, Kena does just about nothing new. It spits out the same exact version of a game we’ve been playing for decades in the form of Tomb Raider or Uncharted or The Legend of Zelda or God of War.
Critically speaking, both the gameplay and narrative are pretty damn milquetoast.
You’re in a world infected by some arbitrary Darkness and since you’re Special and The Chosen One™ it’s your job to go around cleansing the world of evil using a combination of environmental platforming, lever and pressure plate puzzle-solving and lock-on-based, sword-swinging driven combat.
It wouldn’t be difficult to make the argument that Kena is bland.
But the discourse around the game just isn’t about that.
The game’s scored an 81 on Metacritic and has a 92% positive review rating on Steam at time of writing. It recouped its development costs in just one month, meaning every sale since then is hitting the bottom line.
People like this game.

Quick aside from me here on something that made me smile — when double-checking the score on Steam for the above info, I found these as the first two reviews at the very top of the queue: “yo wtf. bought this game to chill, why does it feels like im playing souls-like difficulty ass game HAHAHAH.” “Don’t be fooled by the graphics. This game can be a challenge at times, but it is worth the experience.”

So maybe being an experience for everyone really was the kicker?
Or, maybe, it was something else.
In fact, yeah, I can confidently say it was. It’s a game reviewer’s buzzword, but it’s oh-so apt here: polish.
--
The entire experience of playing Kena is smooth. There are no framerate drops, no bugs, no broken quests or puzzles, no desynced dialogue and facial animations. Not a single hiccup to speak of.
The game features exacting archery, precise platforming, telegraphed and accurate hitboxes, as well as an unimpeding camera, responsive and weighty combat and legible visual design that accurately communicates with the player.
You can move through Kena virtually unobstructed (until you come across a puzzle you can’t solve, but that’s your problem, not the game’s). Everything is built carefully and gels together in a cohesion that works so fluidly that playing Kena is simply frictionless.
The game’s developers — Ember Lab — nailed the fundamentals, paid attention to detail and play-tested perfectly. Their effort to go above and beyond saved this game from sinking into the obscurity of being completely and utterly Mid.
--
It’s frictionlessness that elevates Kena beyond itself. It makes the game greater than the sum of its parts. It makes Kena a complete, finished and polished experience.
Kena presents itself like it’s Disney Pixar’s latest goofy-ass, lame-ass, sub-par video game, but lying underneath the childish aesthetic is a challenging and engaging experience that’s not only a boon for all audiences of gamers, but a worthwhile one thanks to its extreme polish and dedication.
You should play it.

This is long but worth the read, especially for the young girls traveling alone.
I've been travelling alone for the past two years, and didn't really face any obstacles so far, then, this one time I was traveling from Bangalore to Kolkata and I had to sit beside two men. It was like A,B and C. A and B were occupied by the two dudes, one of them being 29 and the other was a middle aged man. Flight took off, I was minding my own business reading a book, listening to music and this middle aged uncle started snooping in and I specifically hate it when people pull sh!t like that, so anyways, I didn't think much of it and closed the book, I was so tired that I was drifting off and I still couldn't shake the feeling of being watched by the middle aged guy. I couldn't keep my eyes closed for much longer because the turbulence was terrible to begin with and I was shitscared of it. The middle aged guy started being over friendly asking me where I'm from, what's my name blah blah, I obviously, didn't tell him my real name because he was making me hella uncomfortable with the extra creepiness ( one of my stupid traits is that I'm a sensitive little bish who can't be rude to anyone on their face ) so I had to adamantly lie through his stupid questions. He started showing me where he works blah blah, he's from Gujarat this and that and I was getting weirded out by the whole interaction, the last nail in the coffin being him passing racist comments against Bengalis and that's when I decided I had to stop interacting with this old hag, also, I forgot to mention, this guy was drunk and had to use the washroom more than 3 times. Anyways, he comes back and asks me if I can switch seats with him and I said yes because at this point I just wanted to get as far away from him as it was physically possible for me. I thought I was fine and then the younger dude started to strike up a conversation with me, again asking me how old I am, what am I reading what's my name. I told him I'm 18( which was true ) and my name is Diya. Now, this dude asked " Hey Diya, can you guess how old I am ? " I said maybe 23-24, he didn't look older than that, he said that he is 29 and I was like cool kono byapar na. Then I started to smell the alcohol in his breathe ( it's more like when you overdrink it and go to sleep and don't even fvking bother to brush your fvking teeth ). This guy wasn't a Bengali either, he started showing off his wealth and how his friend is the owner of the golbaarir and I'm lol okay and then he dropped the bomb, asked me if I was interested in hooking up with him like man I was so scared at this point and thank god oi time ei flight ta land korechilo, I pushed the old hag aside, took my handbag and ran like my life depends on it. I was horrified, men really need to stop making women uncomfortable.
TLDR; Got harassed by two guys on flight from Bangalore to Kolkata.

Hello, this is my first time posting so I am very sorry if this formatted weird. I (22) have an older half-brother I considered close when we were younger and before he started getting into gang activities and drugs. He put a strain between my parents that was already there, the tension was high and I was forced in the middle. It fucked me up a good portion of my childhood and it made me resent him for putting us through that. I saw him ODing in my bathroom as a child. He put my mom through unimaginable stress, and the strain between them two ruined my relationship with my mom. I felt like I was put in the middle of their arguements, since he wasn't well-liked among my family. He had stolen hundreds of dollars worth of my dad's things, has had his kids steal from my mom, he has even stolen my things. My mom this entire time is the only one that puts up with him and lets him in the house. Eventually my dad forces me to not let him inside, since he had a habit of knocking on our window at 2-3am asking to be let in, doped up on drugs. If I didn't let him in, my mom would get onto me. If I did, my dad would get onto me. It was an almost everyday thing and it made me very depressed as a child. I felt like no matter what I chose I will ruin the relationship with my family. That's what I felt like up until he went to prison. I felt like I needed to be a support for him because I loved him so much and sympathized with him, but now that I am grown I have realized that he is a selfish person who made shitty decisions. He didn't care about how it made others feel.
This is just a portion of the shit he has done. He was released early on parole two days ago and marked our house as his host house. Nobody in the household was notified and nobody had a chance to get ready for this. I live with my mom, dad, and younger brother. Mind you I was relieved that he was incarcerated and maybe the 5 years would teach him to be better. Now that he is here, he is falling into the same habits of lying. The first day he left out at night and came back at 3am to bang on my window. He found our alcohol and began to drink shot after shot, eventually getting so drunk he started acting very weird and pretty much killed the vibes. He would ask us if we forgave him for what he has done, and he did not like that we had said "Not yet." I feel like forgiveness is earned, and during his incarceration he was still doing bad things. Owing people money, doing drugs, getting into shit. Now that he is out he thinks the world should feel bad but I am having a very hard time sympathizing with him. Our first deep conversation was last night and he had told us if we couldn't forgive him, then what does that even make us? It was so out of pocket that I took the conversation over. I teared up because it was a very heavy subject for me and he told me to stop crying, like it was annoying him and when I did, I told him straight up how it was and how he was making it something it wasn't. He said we were making him out to be bad, and I said no, what you asked was not appropiate and the funniest part is that when I didn't give him the chance to make the conversation about him, he pretty much said this conversation was over and pretended it never was brought up, even tried to be friendly with us and bring up old memories of us. It was fucking awful. For a whole day straight pretended to not know what was wrong, and then talked to my dad about it. Which I aslo found out he pretty much changed the narrative of his story to make it seem like he didn't say anything remotely wrong. My dad says I should feel bad for him but I realistically do not know what I should be doing. My younger brother and him don't even talk now, the energy changed drastically after that day and I again feel like I'm in the middle of this shit again. I'm in the middle of my family's shit all the time and it makes me miserable. I have an almost non-existent emotional relationship with my dad, and even less with my mom. I cannot rely on them to talk to. It's uncommon in my household to speak about your feelings, but now that my brother is bothering everyone in the household it's up to me to figure things out. It is making my head spin. I told him I understand where he is coming from with this and that jail has fucked him up in some ways. I sympathize with him in the way I would when I think of inmates re-establishing normal lives after prison, which is hard enough as it is for some. I want to be understanding of that aspect and not worry too much about his past, since it's done. I really think he is going too fast and wants us to forgive him for everything that he has done to us, but our answer made me see a side of him I quickly recognized. He uses fancy words and changes up his story, he lies all the time even about the most mundane shit it is crazy. He likes to push that he has done his time, and the life made him this way. I don't want to forgive him yet, I am pissed at how stupid he is. He's a liar and a manipulator, acting like the world owes him forgiveness just because he did his time. He went to jail because he comitted a crime. During a time where his family gave him the utmost support and he pretty much shat in their mouths. I don't know what I need to do, or what I should do, or feel, or how to handle all of this. This is on top of so much shit I'm dealing with and it couldn't have possibly been a worser time. It's affecting me and my family, and my mom through this whole ordeal has kept ALL of us, including my older brother, not knowing of anything. I don't have anyone to talk to or tell these things to, a therapist is booked for months and I don't have a lot of time to be spending waiting. I just want to feel okay in my own home and ever since I moved back in with my parents in May last year it has been awful. I feel like my family is looking at me to find a way to fix this but I don't know what to do or if I even want to deal with this family's shit. I've always felt like the scapegoat of my family.
****for short, my brother and i have a bad relationship and he moved into our dysfunctional household and its stressing everyone out, and im p much in the middle

[First] [Previous] [Next]
When I wake up the next day, my head is swirling with questions. As I get up from my bed and go to clean myself, I can’t help but question everything! Did last night actually happen? I am pretty sure it did, but it all felt so bizarre… and wonderful! There’s a planetarium in the city, and it is magical in the most literal sense of the word! There are books on magic there, too! So I can probably start studying and learning more next time I visit!

Speaking of books… I have something to check there, don’t I?

As soon as I am out of the bathroom I go to the living room to get my pills and then, I start passing the pages of Humiko’s book. As I reach the ‘Epilogue’ section, I confirm to my horror that the words have completely disappeared.

In a panic, fearing the worst, I check my notes… oh, good, those were still here.

“What, were you fearing they would simply disappear too? Idiot.”

“Hey, with magic we really know nothing. It could have happened!”

I do feel a little silly but, yeah. For all we know, it could have happened. The point is that it didn’t!

Breathing way easier now, I sit down on one of the couches and sigh. Picking up my phone, I can confirm that it's Friday and it’s already eleven past noon. I guess this time I am justified in sleeping so much? But at the same time, I can’t help but feel a little guilty.

“Because you’re being lazy, even with your free time.”

With another deep sigh, I try to ignore the voices and just look straight up at the ceiling, tapping my chin for a moment.

How do we proceed from here?

Pelafina said I shouldn’t visit the Elysium early, because it gets full of people. I wonder how true that is… actually, I wonder how true anything she said was.

“Since when are you this distrustful?”

I don’t know. I don’t even know why I lied to her in the first place, but I just felt that this phrase, the one long complete phrase I managed to translate, is far more important than I know. I can’t share it… I actually don’t want to share anything with this lady?

“She will probably send the Cloaks if you stop cooperating though.”

That much I know, and I hate it. She has all the control over the situation!

“There’s one thing she can’t control though. She has no idea about your internet activity now, does she?”

… Good point. I have to focus on that!

I actually have to get back to GalaxyTaco, too! See what he's been doing and all that!

“But before all that, breakfast.”

Ah, right. Almost forgot… although, wouldn’t it be better to just ask for lunch at this point?

“Fair.”

Yes! Time for a burger.

“They feel blander and blander every time you buy one. Why even bother?”

Because they are still delicious, and more importantly, they are cheap and fast!

I quickly order a special Bisontian burger, with extra cheese of course, and then sit back down at the table, connecting my computer to the TER and tapping away a message at GalaxyTaco, to let them know I am up. Then, I write down my discoveries in the file I’m keeping. I’ll transcribe them to the notepad later.

I am adding the symbols (which I’ve learned are called Runes after a visit to the Elysium), meanings and effects I’ve learned. I’ve also learned that I can create Glyphs, which are combinations of Runes to create different effects. I wonder if they are phrases in the language!

Speaking of. They don’t even know it’s a language, they just seem to assume the symbols have effects and that’s it! Maybe they use it, but they haven’t fully grasped the implications yet.

That feels surprisingly shallow though. Just how much knowledge do these people have of magic? Is magic a recent discovery?

Or is there something else keeping people ignorant…?

The burger arrives not too long after I am done writing. I eat it while ruminating on the subject a bit further. They are not idiots, are they? To me, the first thing that comes to my mind when seeing symbols if they are part of a bigger language or something like that. Then again, maybe the lack of translation dissuaded them from experimenting further?

Stuff is not fitting as nicely as I wish…

I am about to write a little more when suddenly, I am added to a group in my messenger service. GalaxyTaco is alive! But not only them! There’s two other people in the conversation too.

Panic ensues, at least for a moment.

“Okay. Just keep calm.” I tell to myself. “Take a deep breath… phew… and let’s do this.”

My fingers are preparing to write some quick and tasteless introduction, when suddenly someone beats me to the punch.

ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: HIIIIIII!! ^0^!!

Oh no. A weeb, and a very strong one at that. I can feel her aura, her reiatsu, pushing down on me like a wave of augmented gravity. There are two chances here: I either get along real well with this person, or we hate each other on sight. There’s no middle ground among us.

ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: don’t be shy! :3 we’re friends here, I swear!

Well they are being real nice at least. Could be worse, they could be souseiseki.

man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): yo, you there?

Who the hell are these people!? I assume they are friends of GalaxyTaco, right? I really want to be patient but, damn it, new people get me nervous so easily…

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Hi there, hi! n.nUu sorry, this whole deal took me by surprise.
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: ohhhh it is fine! uwu gal-kun told us everything!
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: you must be so scared Dx I know I was when I got started!
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Well it has certainly been a journey, heheh n.n but I’ve managed.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I found the Elysium last night so, at least there’s that!
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): good job, that’s a big advancement actually
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): next you gotta find the clinic, though
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: There’s a clinic too? O.o
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): yep. but we’ll explain all that later
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): i’m canny btw. cannedtea at the forum, remember me?

My face burns a little bit when remembering this guy. I wasn’t expecting to find him again so quickly.

“Gay.”

Shut up.

ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: the name’s Aoi! ^0^/ UwU28 at the forum!
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: sorry I didn’t comment your topic, i am a bit shy xwxUu
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: It’s all fine, no worries n.n I’m Tav! But you two probably know that already
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): it bears repeating, girl. it bears repeating.
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: yeah! ^^/
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: alright I’m back! sorry I was seeing grandma to bed heheh

I sigh in relief, cleaning the sweat off my brow. Thanks saints, this was going to be a little too much for me to handle alone!

ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: oh hey gal-kun ~
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: reading up I see you’re all introduced, good good!
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: now I just gotta introduce the plan to you Tav, so pay attention!
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I’m ready! o.o
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: alright, so
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: to avoid 82’s wrath?
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: canny here will be your voucher.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: huh?
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: just put him in your profile and he’ll cover for you.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: And you’re okay with that, Canny? ;w; really!?
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): eyeup, don’t worry girl. I gotchu.
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: canny-kun and mort-sama covered for me when I just got in too :3 he’s the best!

For a moment I blink. Huh? Covered for Aoi? Does that mean they are also a Bastard Mage? What does that mean? Did they just find the link somewhere, too?

Questions for later, I guess.

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Thank you so much Canny! ;w;
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): no prob bob
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): is it chill if I add you? you seem cool
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Ah, of course! :3 Add away! You too, Aoi-chan.
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: EEEEE! Arigatou!! ^w^ <3 <3
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: oh yeah that reminds me.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: Aoi, ain’t you forgetting something?
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: ah right!!! Tavy! what are your pronouns? o.o!

What?

ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: you put you’d rather not say your gender and that’s so cool! I wanna know what to call you though! uwu
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: if that’s okay of course ^.^
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: Aoi that is NOT what I meant damn it!
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): nono, she’s right.
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): sorry i kept callin you girl
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: not you too canny… focus!

I have never been asked that before… I mean, I have, by computers. But by people, it feels… odd.

I like it.

“You’re going to start with your delusions again?”

“They can identify as anything. Stop being so harsh!”

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: … I think I will go with she/her.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Is that okay? n.n
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): girl, don’t ask US
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): ask yourself
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): not the mean voice of anxiety, not the shit your guardians told ya
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): are YOU okay with it?

I feel the words pierce my chest for a moment. I gasp for air, my eyes opening a little more.

“This is all just play pretend. Don’t take it so much to heart.”

Shut up.

“What!?”

I said shut up. This time, this is for me. I decide this.

“You little ungrateful asshole…”

I want this. This makes me feel good and I will seize it. And you can go kiss my ass, you hear me!?

“...”

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: … Yeah. Yeah, I think I am okay with it n//n
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): atta girl
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): it’s chill to call you a girl right?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Yeah yeah, I like it! n.n
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: yayayay Tavy-chan! :3
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: huh. that’s unexpectedly wholesome…
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: but let’s focus! Aoi! do you have the book?
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: right here boss! o.o7

ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!! has sent you bastard_recipe_book.pdf
Accept?

Huh? A pdf? I hesitate for a moment but, hell, maybe it’s magic and magic can’t get viruses or something. I just click it.

ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: this is the rulebook for us Bastards, don’t tell nobody about it though OoO!
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: it’s a seecret~
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: A secret book… now that’s cool uwu
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): man, tav’s first secret
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): granny get the camera
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: lol
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: no but really, read it, study it well
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: it’s all vital.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: will do! I’ll print it and get to it right now
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: NO!
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: TAVY-CHAN WAIT
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): wait a sec tav
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Huh? O.o
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: don’t print that one!
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: yeah you can’t print magic books, it’s risky
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): the runes can activate and shit would go boom
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Oh, okay o.o
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Man I hate reading on the computer! ;w;
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: sorry tavy-chan ;w;!! but that’s the only way!
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: yeah… anyways, I gotta go to bed, real badly.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: I trust you got it from here right?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Yep! n.n
ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: byeeee everyone!! uwu see you in dejima!
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): see you around

I sigh and slowly lean back on my chair. That was intense, way too intense… but I am smiling. Really, this is some proper progress! I finally have tools to work on my own! Maybe I can even translate some more after learning magic!

“Are you sure that’s all you’re happy about?~”

… Shut up. Don’t look too deep into the whole ‘pronoun’ thing.

I am opening the file I got when, suddenly, another message hits me.

It’s from Canny!

man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): hey tav
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): if you don’t wanna read it on computer you can get it physical.

Whuh?

man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): you said you found an elysium, was it in a library?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Yeah! o.o
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): thought so
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): look through the mundane part of the library, specifically in the section where you get cooking recipes
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): see if you can find a cheap notebook that says ‘MAGIC’ in it.
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): open it, say ‘jantar mantar’ to it, and that’s your ticket.

My eyes light up. A secret book, hidden under the cloak’s noses like that? That’s perfect!

man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): the book’s written in draconic, which basically means only mages can read the real shit and you can’t destroy it
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Wait what? O.o Draconic? Are dragons a thing here?
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): not anymore they ain’t
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Aww :c
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Wait,I can’t destroy it? O.o No matter how much I try?
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): i mean, you can, but it won’t do nothin
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): don’t worry about it
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Ok! n.n but hey I don’t know Draconic D:!
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): don’t worry about it girlie
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Yay! n.n I will go get it then
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): get some other books too, in case you’re being tailed.
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): good luck tav
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Thank you Canny!
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Ah! I will be on my phone so don’t send me magic stuff for a while, okay?
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): gonna teach you the glyph for your phone later.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Yipee!! n.n
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Ah hell, sorry for that úwu
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): you’re fine girl
man don’t you lecture me with your $30 haircut 8): good luck.

I feel motivated, so motivated that I stand up immediately, close my computer, and finish my hamburger on the spot.

“Going out again!? Hah.”

I am running out of mean things to say, that’s a good sign.

“Don’t count on it.”

“You are doing great. Let’s go! The day’s young and we have notes to take!”

Yes! I don’t even notice the door in my way this time! I just go out and hop my way over to the elevator.

To the library! Again!

Hey folks! A few months ago I asked the subreddit for some beginner songs to ease me into AnCo after first experiencing Peacebone as a newcomer, which seemed so absurd and too much for me. Well, after a few months, I can finally say I am an Animal Collective fan! Even when I was weirded out in the beginning by the overstimulating nature of it, I was always intrigued by the sound and wanted to hear more. So here are my thoughts on the first album I played through, Strawberry Jam! <3
Album: Strawberry Jam

1. Peacebone: I have heard this song is about child nostalgia and memories, and this makes so much more sense now. This song was the beginning of my journey, and I absolutely love the abrupt screams and animal-like? roars throughout the song. The beginning going from absolute madness to an actual synth progression is actually so cool. While the lyrics still are not my favorite compared to other AnCo songs, I appreciate their childlike nature and fun vibe to them! MILDEW ON RICEEE! Also that ending with the peacebone is sick!

• 7/10

1. Unsolved Mysteries: Now we’re getting to some of my favorites of all time! Unsolved Memories has some of the catchiest choruses and I love when Avey’s voice gets to those high notes! AND THOSE BUBBLE NOISES TOO THOSE ARE SO COOL! I just love how catchy and bouncy it is! The voices or grunting that pan from left to right are a nice touch too. This song I feel defines Strawberry Jam, with how moist and squishy (lol idk how to describe it) it sounds, like jam. I am not too sure what this song is about, as the line about Jack the Ripper confused me a bit, but I am guessing it is just a song about him? Maybe some of you can give me some insight. The ending is absolutely bonkers as well, I love when songs just go into pure madness at the end, the synths remind me a lot of Peacebone’s ending.

• 10/10

1. Chores: Again, such a catchy song, this album is absolutely catchy with the melodies, I am surprised it never became as big as Merriweather Post-Pavillion. I love the scratchy noises that keep popping up before Panda’s verses, and the thousand of “IF I IF I IF I’s” are so fun and upbeat. One of my favorite parts includes when it gets real slow by the half-mark, and then the drum beat starts coming in again. The fast to slow transition reminds me a lot of Daily Routine in MPP, one of my fav songs from that album that I will talk about later on. I love the harmonies (is that with Avey?) together, and they sound transcendental like you're awakening from slumber into a new life with those stellar drums. Fun lyrics!

• 9/10

1. For Reverend Green: Oh man, what an experience. This truly shows Avey’s vocal ability, with those screams. I am not usually one who is into screamo music, but the contrast with so many weird sounds and effects make it worth it. It honestly sounds like he is saying “Forever and Green”, which sounds equally cool as well. I love the slicing knife effects, and the chorus is so so so catchy with his vocalizations. It sounds like “eh eH YEAH” which I love singing along in the car! One of my favorite lyrics is “Now I think it's alright to feel inhuman”, although I am not sure what it means, but it gives me a sense of security. When I first heard this song, I was instantly hooked, the catchy chorus paired with the sick screams captivated my ears and the ending with him repeating “For Reverend Green” is so satisfying to hear!

• 9/10

1. Fireworks: The transition from For Reverend Green was so smooth! I love the vocalizations in the beginning, though, I feel like it is in the middle ground of not being weird enough and not being conventional sounding enough. That being said, the piano is very catchy, and the strange seagull? sounds are very fun! The part of “surly blood rivers” is very catchy, and I love singing along with it, it has such a fun vibe! The breakdown is very good as well after that part, but I feel it should have ended a little earlier and not repeating some verses, after that huge buildup of “surly blood rivers”. However, I can see the appeal and it is a very fun nostalgic sounding sound that sounds like I could play it during summer watching fireworks! It’s very lovely.

• 8/10

1. 1: After reading some posts about this song, I feel like I might be in the weird minority here, but I absolutely ADORE THIS SONG. I love the dreamy reverbed synth arpeggio, Avey’s absolutely HAUNTING vocal effects here, Panda’s angelic vocalizations in the background, the alien-like PEWWW sound, and the spooky ghost-sounding effects in one ear. I am a big fan of MGMT, and the sound effects reminded me a lot of Alien Day’s (though more upbeat) and Astro Mancy. I am also a sucker for reverbed to heck vocals, which are present here. I love lo-fi lowkey-type psychedelic songs that sound off-putting, and this song checked all those boxes and exceeded them. The lyrics are so interesting as well, with the “Now son!”, which I am guessing it about a premise revolving around a father and his son, and the issues of growing up? I feel like I could be listening to this floating in space endlessly throughout the universe, which I love!

• 10/10

1. Winter Wonderland: After #1, I appreciate another upbeat fun song! I could totally see myself jamming out to this during winter! The chorus is so CATCHY, with the “And if you don't believe in fantasy Then don't believe in fantasy Do you not believe in fantasy because it gets you down?”, that part is SO FUN!! I love the imagery of dancing on the lake, and rainbow ice, as I love when songs paint pictures and fantasy dreamscapes in a listener’s head, which is why I love Owl City so much with his dreamy songs. Overall, a short and candy-sweet song that makes you want to go on a sled and slide away!

• 9/10

1. Cuckoo Cuckoo: One of the more serious sounding songs on the record, I appreciate the more literal and real aspect of the lyrics here. I read more into it, and apparently it is about a miscarriage, which is absolutely saddening. You can hear the pain and hurt in Avey’s voice, and his vocals with “Golden Days” sound so strong. This song definitely has my favorite lyrics, such as “And I can't hold what's in my hand Don't do any good to say this isn't what I planned” and “I said please stay You can see me, don't go away”, which made me extremely emotional. I was so touched by this song, and the contrast between the absolute madness of the “cuckoo cuckoo” and the somber piano, truly craft this song together into a masterpiece. The pain and emotion that permeates this song is substantial, and the production is stellar. Gives me the same feeling from Stride Rite, another song from their “Isn’t It Now?” album that I have not yet finished yet, beautiful regardless.

• 10/10

1. Derek: A fun-sounding little closer that sounds like a child singing, with Panda’s sweet vocals. Again, the squishy noises throughout the song are a nice touch, adding to the vibe of Strawberry Jam. I am guessing this is a song about a dog dying, which is really sad. The drums that pop in through the middle bring you back to life, and I love the repetition of the verses Panda sings, and they again, are so catchy! I feel like Chores and Derek are sister songs, not only because of Panda, but because they both start off with some normal AnCo verses, then have a more upbeat revitalizing drum beat. Overall, not bad, and is a light closer to the album!

• 7/10
• Conclusion: Wow, we’re done! What a journey this album brings! I will forever cherish it as the album that was either going to stop my fascination with this band after being weirded out by Peacebone, or bring my love even more! I am glad it brought the love that was deserved, because I have more albums to review soon! So far after listening to this one first from a few months ago, I have listened to Merriweather Post-Pavillion and Sung Tongs in full! Strangely, MPP took the longest to get into at least a few songs, despite the commercial hits of that album. I think the band achieved their sound of making it sounds like strawberry jam, and the combination of synths and acoustic instruments give it that murky, electronic, and distorted vibe that I love! This by far is the most catchy album in my opinion, as every song is catchy to me, compared to MPP. I believe this would be the most accessible album if not for the screaming in a few and #1 which mightttt turn a few people off, LOL!
• Final Album Score: 9/10

First lf all, hello potatoes! This is my first ever post on anything, so bear with me!
I (21f), have an aunt who I've finally decided to go no contact with after years of her bs. For the sake of this post, let's call her EA. EA has always been a narcissist, though none of us really did anything about it for a while.
For instance, when I was young, about 12 or 13, she decided it would be a good idea to take me and my three siblings to a youth group, even though we never wanted to. She pretty much dragged us over there and would act like she was doing something good for us so we could pay her back later. We never wanted to go, because of some issues we had with the last religious group we went to, and it became painful for us to deal with.
Anyway, we ended up being late to an event one night, and the entire 30 minute drive down, she had been complaining about how late we were. Once we had gotten to the building, she went inside and talked to the person in charge about it. My siblings and I had come in and she locked eyes with me.
"Thanks a lot, kids."
That's all she had to say to us, then proceeded to complain to the person in charge over the whole ordeal. Being as young as I was and as sensitive as I was at the time, I held on to that feeling. Eventually, we stopped going, again because it was hard for us and EA made it unbearable.
Several years went by, and not long after I had graduated, she had come back into my life, in a much more violent way than before. I had moved out for school and work, so I wasn't physically there, but I heard about it after the fact. It turns out, while my parents and EA had gone to an appointment they both had in the nearest city (3+ hour drive), she had attacked my mother. Not verbally, but physically. She had pounced on her and left scratches and bruises. The cause of the fight? Some water on her butt. She threw a whole fit and physically attacked my mother, over a little bit of water on her butt.
Let me tell you, I was fuming when I had heard about it. She even went so far as to insult us when she attacked my mother, and I'll never forget it.
"You're raising your kids to be just like you!"
She made it sound like a bad thing for us to turn out like my mother. Now, my mother is a kind woman with a soft heart and a soft spot for dogs and cats. She loves crystals and plants, and she loves cloudy days and being by the ocean. She accepts all of us for who we are, and makes inappropriate jokes for us to laugh at. To hear EA insult my mother made me angry, but she had told me not to put any energy into it.
EA began to get worse afterwards. I was working a job that was slowly killing me, and whenever she'd visit, she had that sickly sweet 'I'm tolerating you enough to talk to you' look on her face and tone in her voice. When I was moved to nights, I was hoping to never deal with her again. But then, my grandmother fell down.
I heard about it during one of my shifts, and when I had gotten off, I couldn't sleep. I was afraid something would happen to her if I was asleep, so I stayed awake until my bf (21m) woke up. I told him the situation and we had a talk about it, and we both agreed that it would be best if I moved back to take care of her. So, on my first day off, I packed all my stuff and left. I texted my boss, who I wasn't on good terms with, and told her the situation. I pretty much handed in my two week notice, but only gave her two days.
So, I came home and moved in with my grandma so I could take care of her. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, anything and everything she needed done, I would do it. I was lucky enough to be able to bring my dog, a chihuahua dashund pug mix, to live with me. Spud made things a bit easier for me, considering everything that I had given up and what was going on. It felt like things were gonna get better.
Until my grandmother had to go to the hospital. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not. She couldn't get out of bed one morning, and since I didn't know what to do, I panicked and called my father. He came and checked on her, gave her an oxygen treatment, and when things didn't improve, he called EA so they could go to the hospital. I was freaking out and pacing around on the balcony, trying to calm down as they carried her to the car and drove to the hospital two towns over. She got better, so that helped, but it scared me so badly I couldn't sleep for a while. We were given an oxygen machine and told to have her on it as often as possible. That first night was terrible. I hadn't slept at all that night, or for the next few nights, because I was afraid of what would happen if I did.
To help with this, my father bought a baby monitor so I could make sure she was okay, and after a few days, I was feeling much better. EA began showing up, when she hadn't come at all before the hospital visit. When she did, the first thing she did was complain.
My little sis (11f), was helping me clean, and we had finished doing what my grandmother needed us to do when EA had come in. The first thing she said to us was that we should be cleaning, and began cleaning the stuff we didn't get to. She then started to complain about how we weren't doing these tasks that my grandmother never asked us to do. My sister and I just looked at each other with confusion. I could tell she was feeling bad, but it wasn't her job to do in the first place. EA took her cleaning to my grandmother's bedroom, and she stayed in there for a long time.
I began to get worried, so I ended up heading to my room downstairs to check the monitor, only to find EA had covered it. I sat, confused by what she had done. It's not like I had the monitor there to snoop around, it was only there to make sure my grandmother was okay. I shrugged it off and uncovered it before I went to bed that night. After a few days, I had decided to make the trip to see my bf. It was almost a 2 hour drive, so I wanted to leave early. I asked my little brother (18), to watch over everything while I was gone for a few days. He agreed for the price of some dark chocolate for his own mochas in the morning. I agreed, and made sure he knew what medications my grandparents had to take and when, where the blood pressure cuff was and how to use it, and the device to check my grandmother's oxygen. After that, I packed the clothes I'd need for four days, and left.
Things were going smoothly for a while. I was laughing and relaxing with my bf, watching videos he had saved to show me, and going on dates, talking and catching up. On the third day, I got a text from my brother saying that he was angry. I asked why, and he explained everything.
He said EA had showed up, and was trying to make me and my sister sound like thieves. She claimed we had gotten into some drinks meant for my uncle, who's diabetic and also lives with my grandmother. I told him I don't drink that particular brand anymore, and my sister only ever got into the milk and some cold water. I showed my bf the messages, and we both had a good laugh over it. He knew that I don't drink that particular brand, and that I enjoy a different brand altogether, so we thought it was just ridiculous.
It continued like this for a while. EA would make little comments and talk with my grandmother about certain topics, trying to make me and my sister sound like we were against her. All the while, I was doing my usual job of cooking and cleaning for her and making sure she was okay. I was pretty much untouchable in her eyes.
My mother had come by to visit for a while and make sure everything was okay one day. We talked, she helped me cook, and we just had a good time, until EA popped in unannounced. My grandmother, wanting them to fix their relationship as sisters, stopped my mother from leaving the kitchen and told them to hug. I was watching the whole thing and heard EA say something thst just made me want to yell.
"Are you gonna attack me again?"
She made herself sound like the victim, and made it seem like my mother had attacked her. They hugged, and things proceeded to get worse from there. I refused to talk to EA when she came by, and I'd watch when she started her random cleaning. If she went into my grandmother's bedroom, I'd go downstairs, watch the monitor and try to make sure she wasn't stealing anything. She coveted the camera again and again, which slowly drove me crazy. I regret not talking to her about it.
She did it again when I was on another trip to see my bf, and this time, my brother called her out on it. He told her to stop covering the camera, that it was only there to make sure my grandmother was okay at night, nothing more. According to him, EA began yelling at him and puffing her chest out over the whole thing, while my brother acted more mature and waited for her to finish. He then asked if she was done, to which she huffed. He was getting pretty angry over it. I had him tell me everything thst was going on, so I was up to date while I was gone.
This would continue for a few more weeks, and again, while I was away, EA would confront my brother, but this time, she said something thst made me lose it. My brother was telling my uncle that it probably wasn't a good idea to take a pastry with him downstairs, since it had a bunch of sugar. EA went ballistic over this and started getting in my brother's face, yelling about it and calling him a few names like r-tard, and said, and I quote, "No wonder you were bullied, you deserved it."
For context, my brother faced severe bullying when we were in school. He was thrown around, threatened, hit, and more. He also has an accent due to having multiple earaches as a baby, so sometimes, it's hard to understand him. He's a smart kid, with a good heart, and having a middle aged swamp monster with a superiority complex getting in his face and yelling at him about how stupid he was and saying he deserved to be bullied broke me and hurt him. He didn't show it, but I know it hurt him.
When I found out, I was angry, sad, and an all around mess. My bf read the messages and didn't know what to do. I was ranting and rambling angrily by this point, in tears and just about seeing red. I was getting more angry as I talked about it, completely unaware that while my bf was playing a game, he was playing with a friend, and they could hear everything. They heard my voice beginning to shake as I let out all my frustrations, and they heard how angry I was that this haggard hoghag of a woman could treat my little brother like that. I ended up crying myself to sleep that night, I was so furious.
After that, she kept coming around and trying to make all of us sound like the villains of the tale while she was the goodie two shoes. I cut all contact with her, refused to talk to her or even acknowledge her existence, and just continued to enjoy myself. My sister had some other plans
EA is diabetic, so she can't really have sugar, so my sister had an idea to pay her back, at least a little. EA had come over to open oysters with us. My grandmother had ordered them for me and my sister, because we enjoyed them so much. My sister decided to get some Popsicles from the freezer upstairs and started to eat one in front of EA. She also handed one to me, so I could enjoy too. We got some looks from EA, but I don't remember hearing her say anything. Later on, we even went so far as to make delicious chocolate chip banana bread while she was there, so she couldn't have some but had to deal with the temptation. I guess this could count as a petty revenge story, but I don't know where else to put this. I just wanted to get this story off of my chest and hear what the other petty potatoes think about this.
So, AITA for going to contact with my aunt? And for going so far as to make treats she can't have?

Please can we move arty up 100-200 meters. The fact it's next to middle spawn is even worse. Not only does recon have to deal with arty, but also anyone else who spawns middle. You're extremely limited especially if you're the American recon who only have a bolt action. You can't attack from behind and if one unit defends arty. Good luck getting them off the guns. Having the spawn next to arty is absolutely broken. I see people go 100 plus kills on arty because it goes uncontested. And if I lose my OP they can fire uncontested for over 10 minutes till I get back there. If I can.
If you want to balance arty. Move it out of spawn at least up two blocks or 200 meters. Allow us to flank from all sides inside of 3. Make the enemy have to run to arty instead of insta spawn next to them. It's a nightmare attacking some arty because it's just out in the open. Foy is horrible especially attack as Allies.
Don't even get me started on how much offensive mode nerfs recon. Arty is not balanced at all and this is my idea to fix it.

If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:

• Online Courses (1 - 20 Weeks Long)
• Homework Assignments
• Exams Quizzes Tests
• Excel Projects
• Discussion Forum Posts
• Research Papers Term Papers Essays
• Employment Assessments

MY MATH SUBJECTS OF EXPERTISE:
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:

• Advanced Placement Honors High School Level Math
• AP Calculus AB A.P. Calculus BC
• AP Statistics
• Biostatistics Bio-Statistics
• College Algebra Intermediate Algebra
• Business Calculus
• Business Statistics
• Business Math
• Calculus I Calculus II Calculus III (Calc)
• Geometry
• International Baccalaureate (IB) Maths
• Liberal Arts Math
• Logic & Reasoning
• Multivariable Calculus Multi variable Calculus
• Precalculus Pre-calculus
• Probability & Statistics
• Psychology Statistics Psych Stats
• Quantitative Reasoning Quantitative Methods Quantitative Literacy (Quant)
• Statistics (Stats)
• Statistics for Social Sciences
• Trigonometry (Trig)

STATISTICS HELP (MY BEST SUBJECT):

• I have a master's degree in Applied Statistics from a university in New Jersey, USA. As a result, I am very proficient in helping students with various types of Statistics courses including Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Probability & Statistics Psychology Statistics.
• I have extensive knowledge and skill with helping students get through various statistical concepts including all of the following in alphabetical order:
• ANOVA Bar Graph, Boxplot, Dot Plot, Histogram, Pie Chart Bias Binomial, Exponential, Poisson, Gamma, Uniform Distribution Central Limit Theorem Chi-Square Test Coefficient of Determination (R^2) Conditional & Relative Probability Confidence Interval Correlation Coefficient (r) Critical Region Critical Value Descriptive & Inferential Statistics Effect Size Expected Value Experiment vs Observation Goodness of Fit Test Hypothesis Testing Interpolation & Extrapolation Interquartile Range (IQR) Kurtosis Left, Negative, Right, Positive Skewed Distribution Logistic Regression Mean, Median, Mode, Midrange Multiple Regression Nominal, Ordinal, Interval, Ratio I Population Parameter Normal, Symmetric & Bell Shaped Distribution Null & Alternate Hypothesis One & Two Sample T-Test One & Two Sample Z-Test Ordinary Least Squares Outliers P-Value Pooled Variance (Equal Variances) Proportion R^2 Range Regression Regression Line Reject & Fail to Reject Ho Relative & Cumulative Frequency Distributions Relativity & Reliability Right, Left, One, Two Tailed Tailed Hypothesis Test Sample Statistics Sampling Methods (Convenience, Stratified, Simple, Cluster, Systematic) Significance Level (1%, 5%, 10%) Skewness Standard Deviation& Variance T-Score Test Statistic Time Series Type I & Type II Errors Unbiased Estimators Z-Score

ALGEBRA HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Algebra 1 & 2 College Algebra Intermediate Algebra Pre-Algebra and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following algebra topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute Values Circle Equation Domain Exponents Graphing Horizontal & Vertical Asymptotes Inequalities, Equations & Functions Inverse Functions Linear, Exponential, Logarithmic, Quadratic Equations Logarithms Maximum & Minimum Values of a Graph Number Lines One-to-One Functions Parallel & Perpendicular Lines Plotting Points & Ordered Pairs Point-Slope Form Polynomial Division Polynomials Radicals Range Rational & Irrational Expressions Rational Functions Real Roots Real Zeros Relations & Functions Slope Slope-Intercept Form Square Roots Standard Form of a Line System of Equations System of Inequalities Variables X and Y Intercepts

CALCULUS HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Calculus I, II & III, Calculus 1, 2 & 3, Business Calculus, Multivariable Calculus, Vector Calculus and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following calculus topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute & Local Maximum and Minimum Antiderivative Area & Volume Chain Rule Concavity Continuity Convergence Test Critical Points Curvature Curve of Rotation Curve Sketching Derivatives Divergence Test First & Second Derivative Test Fourier Series Implicit Differentiation Increasing / Decreasing Functions Infinite Series Integrals Integration by Parts Jacobian Matrix Limits L’Hopital’s Rule Maclaurin Series Mean Value Theorem Partial Derivative Product & Quotient Rule Reiman Sum Related Rates Simpson’s Rule Solid of Revolution Substitution Rule Taylor Series

Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:

• I firmly believe that I have many attributes and skills that set me apart from other tutors. Below is a list of qualities that makes me an ideal fit to help you master your coursework:

I CAN AID STUDENTS TAKING PROCTORED ASSESSMENTS:

• Proficient in CollegeBoard AP Calculus AB, AP Calculus BC & AP Statistics exams.
• Skilled with International Baccalaureate Math Exams: IB Maths HL & IB Maths SL
• Can intentionally answer a few problems incorrectly at the student's request.
• Can text solutions to the student while they are taking a proctored exam.
• Upon request, can purposely obtain grades below an A (ex: B+, B, C+, C-).
• I can stretch out the time to a plausible length for timed exams and assignments before submitting them.
• Have reliable software that can change my IP address to match the closest major city near the student.
• I have exceptional multiple-choice exam-taking skills. I have mastered the various techniques to make calculated guesses for the correct option in standardized exams such as the SAT & GRE.

I CAN VERIFY MY ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE & SKILLS:

• I have no problem with requests to solve sample problems upfront to prove my knowledge & proficiency of the course concepts.
• I can provide glowing references & strong examples of work done for past clients to verify my academic skills.
• I can also provide, upon request, complete detailed calculations with explanations for solutions to the problems worked on.
• I am quite skilled and adept in using multiple modernized educational platforms and software, including but not limited to: Brightspace MyStatLab D2L WebAssign Canvas MyMathLab Blackboard ALEKS
• Can format term papers and discussion posts in APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE format.

I HAVE PAID ACCESS TO OVER 15 STUDY-HELP WEBSITES AND MATHEMATICAL SOFTWARE:

• I have multiple paid subscriptions to a wide range of academic tutoring resources, including Chegg, Quizlet, CourseHero, Brainly, Grammarly, Study. com, Bartleby, Slader, Transtutors, Slideshare, StudocU, Turnitin, Academia, SymboLab, WolframAlpha, and Scribd to help guide to solve exam & homework questions that I may not immediately know.
• However, I am smart enough not to blatantly plagiarize solutions online but instead write them in my own unique words, formatting, & mathematical terminology.
• I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
• I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, or PDF formats.

MY AVAILABILITY & RELIABILITY:

• Depending on my availability, I can accommodate immediate tutoring requests, 1-24 hour, and 1-30-day deadlines.
• I can schedule live real-time online sessions and meet deadlines in an impressively timely fashion.
• I can provide quick notifications and updates of progress made in the student's class via email text phone calls.
• I can also be available to tutor students for Fall 2021 Spring 2022 Summer 2022 semesters.

MY EDUCATIONAL SOFTWARE OF EXPERTISE:

• I am very knowledgeable and well-versed in a wide range of educational software to tutor students in including but not limited to: Acellus ALEKS APEX Learning Aplia Blackboard Brightspace Canvas Cengage CengageNow Connect ConnectMath Connexus CPM D2L Discord Edmentum Eviews Examity Excel Hawkes Learning Honorlock Khan Academy Knewton LimeSpring Lumen Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL (XL) MATLAB McGraw-Hill Microsoft Word Minitab Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyITLab MyLab My Lab MyMathLab My Math Lab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab My Stat Lab NCSS Open Source Software Pearson PERT PlatoWeb PowerPoint Prezi R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam Sapling SPSS Stata StraighterLine Straighter Line WebAssign Web Assign Webex (Cisco) WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Wonderlic Zoom

SCHOOLS FROM WHICH I'VE HELPED STUDENTS IN :
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:

• A - C: American Public University System (APUS) Arizona State Ashford Brigham Young Brown Broward California State (Fullerton) Capella Chamberlain (Illinois) Colorado Technical Columbia Columbia Southern Cornell
• D - K: Dallas College Dartmouth DeVry Excelsior College Florida International Florida State Full Sail Georgia State Grand Canyon Harvard Houston Community College Ivy Tech Community College Kaplan Kennesaw State Kent State
• L - T: Liberty Lone Star College System Kaplan Miami Dade Michigan State CUNY State University of New York (SUNY) Northern Virginia Ohio State University of Phoenix (UOP) Penn State Princeton Purdue (Davenport) San Diego State San Francisco State San Jose State Southern New Hampshire Southern Nevada Stanford St. Petersburg Strayer Texas Tech
• UNIVERSITY OF: Alabama Arizona California (UC) Central Florida Chicago Cincinnati Florida Houston Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) Iowa Maryland Minnesota Michigan North Texas Pennsylvania Southern Florida Texas Toronto
• U - Z: UCLA Extension Utah State Utah Valley Valencia Walden U Wake Technical Western Governors Wilmington Yale

Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:

• I offer several unique payment plans, including a weekly plan, a discounted monthly plan, a discounted half-now / half-later plan, and highly discounted up-front rates.
• I can accept the following payment methods for my services: PayPal Debit Cards Square Cash Credit Cards Cash App Venmo.
• Only people located in North America have access to Venmo Cash App Zelle.
• This is an excellent way to determine if the person you're dealing with is from the United States.
• Within reason, I offer a partial or full money-Back guarantee if the student is very unsatisfied with my academic services.

TUTORING AVAILABLE FOR OTHER SUBJECTS:

• For other subjects, you can reach out to me, and I can connect you with one of my tutoring partners who can provide general academic assistance for the following subjects:
• Art & Design: Art History Design Film Studies
• Business: Accounting (Acc) Biz Courses Business Administration (Biz Admn) Business Calculus Business Law Business Statistics Corporate Finance Economics (Econ) Finance (Fin) Financial Accounting Intermediate Accounting Intermediate Microeconomics (Micro) Macroeconomics (Macro) Management (Mgmt) Managerial Accounting Marketing MBA
• Computer Science: C C++ Computer Programming (Comp) Java Python R (Introduction & Intermediate Level Only)
• Humanities: Communications (Comm) English Literature Essay & Term Paper Writing, Editing, Proofreading Essays History Papers Philosophy (Phil) Religious Studies Theology (Theo)
• Mathematics: A.P. Calculus AB & BC Psychology Statistics AP Statistics Bio statistics Calculus I (1) Calculus II (2) Calculus III (3) College Algebra Differential Equations Discrete Math Finite Math Functions General Math Geometry Liberal Arts Math Linear Algebra Multi-variable Calculus Partial Differential Equations Precalculus Probability Quantitative Reasoning Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry (Trig) Vector Calculus
• Science & Medicine: Anatomy & Physiology (A & P) Biochemistry Biology (Bio) Biostatistics Earth Science Environmental Science General Chemistry (Chem) Healthcare Medicine Nursing Nutrition Organic Chemistry Physics (Phys)
• Social Sciences: Anthropology Economics (Econ) Geology Law & Justice Liberal Arts Liberal Studies Political Science Psychology Sociology

THE OBLIGATORY "IS THIS A SCAM?" QUESTION:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:

• 1) Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, accent, diction, dialect, regionalisms, pitch, vocabulary, word choice, intonations, and inflections.
• NOTE: I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
• 2) Agree to do some homework questions of yours upfront with the work fully shown in real-time to prove my mastery of the course content.
• 3) Send you screenshots of at least five past scores I attained from completing exams & homework assignments for other students in the same type of class you need help with.
• 4) Send you full screenshots of written exam solutions I wrote up by hand for students in the past in the same course that you need help with so that you can see my neat handwriting.
• 5) Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.

MY REBUTTAL TO THE OBLIGATORY “IS THIS A SCAM?” QUESTION:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:

• I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
• I certainly wouldn’t choose high school & college students as my “target audience” to scam, considering that most people without college degrees have abysmally low annual incomes. Why choose low-income victims when it would be much more profitable to target high-income, high-net-worth individuals earning at least six figures a year? I have knowledge in business consulting, and I promise you that a business owner would be a MUCH more lucrative mark than a low-income college student.
• I wouldn’t choose such a time & energy-draining method of scamming people. Also, communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine. This means that 90% of my time communicating with potential clients ultimately proves to be a colossal waste of my irretrievable time & energy.
• If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now. And I would have been permanently banned from opening new accounts. Therefore, the fact that all my payment apps have been fully active for years should be sufficient proof that I haven’t had people consistently disputing payments sent to me.

HOW TO CONTACT ME:
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641

• I take my work as a tutor very seriously, and I always aim to do my best to help my students excel in school. I have a solid and sincere passion for academic achievement, and with my help, I am positive that I can help students obtain very high grades with minimal stress and effort.
• Please feel free to contact me if you're interested in my services and would like to learn more. I'm available 24/7 via phone call, email, and text. Again, thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit tutoring ad, and I hope to hear from you soon!

My contact details:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
TAGS:
^{Accounting Exam Help Reddit, Best Online Test Takers Reddit, Best Ways to Cheat on a Test Reddit, Best Website to Pay for Homework Reddit, Bypass Respondus Lockdown Browser Reddit, Calculus Test Taker Reddit, Canvas Cheating Reddit, Cheating in Online Exam Reddit, Cheating on Pearson Mymathlab Reddit, Cheating on Proctortrack Reddit, Cheating on Zoom Proctored Exams Reddit, Cheating on a Test Reddit, College Algebra Mymathlab Reddit, Do Homework for Money Reddit, Do My Assignment Reddit, Do My Exam for Me Reddit, Do My Homework for Me Reddit, Do My Math Homework Reddit, Do My Math Homework for Me Reddit, Do My Test for Me Reddit, Doing Homework Reddit, Domyhomework Reddit, Exam Cheating Reddit, Exam Help Online Reddit, Examity Reddit, Finance Homework Help Reddit, Fiverr Exam Cheating Reddit, Gradeseekers Reddit, Hire Someone to Take My Online Exam Reddit, Hire Test Taker Reddit, Homework Help Reddit, Homework Sites Reddit, Reddit, Homeworkhelp Reddit, Honorlock Reddit, How Much Should I Pay Someone to Take My Exam Reddit, How to Beat Honorlock Reddit, How to Beat Lockdown Browser Reddit, How to Cheat Examity Reddit 2022, How to Cheat Honorlock Reddit, How to Cheat and Not Get Caught Reddit, How to Cheat in School Reddit, How to Cheat on Canvas Tests Reddit, How to Cheat on Examity Reddit, How to Cheat on Honorlock Reddit, How to Cheat on Math Test Reddit, How to Cheat on Mymathlab Reddit, How to Cheat on Online Exams Reddit, How to Cheat on Online Proctored Exams Reddit, How to Cheat on Zoom Exam Reddit, How to Cheat on Zoom Exams Reddit, How to Cheat on a Proctored Exam Reddit, How to Cheat with Proctorio 2020 Reddit, How to Cheat with Proctorio Reddit, How to Cheat with Respondus Monitor Reddit, How to Get Past Lockdown Browser Reddit, Hwforcash Discord, I Paid Someone to Write My Essay Reddit, Is Hwforcash Legit, Lockdown Browser Hack Reddit, Lockdown Browser How to Cheat Reddit, Math Homework Reddit, Monitoredu Reddit, Mymathlab Answer Key Reddit, Mymathlab Answers Reddit, Mymathlab Cheat Reddit, Mymathlab Proctored Test Reddit, Online Exam Help Reddit, Online Exam Proctor Reddit, Online Proctored Exam Reddit, Organic Chemistry Exam Help Reddit, Organic Chemistry Test Taker Reddit, Paper Writers Reddit, Pay Me to Do Your Homework Reddit, Pay Me to Do Your Homework Reviews Reddit, Pay Someone to Do Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Assignment Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My College Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Math Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Online Class Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Online Math Class Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Programming Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Do Statistics Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Take Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take Exam for Me Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Calculus Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Chemistry Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Online Class Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Online Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Proctored Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Test in Person Reddit, Pay Someone to Take Online Class for Me Reddit, Pay Someone to Take Online Test Reddit, Pay Someone to Take Your Online Class Reddit, Pay Someone to Write My Paper Reddit, Pay for Homework Reddit, Pay to Do Homework Reddit, Paying Someone to Do Your Homework Reddit, Paying Someone to Take My Online Class Reddit, Paying Someone to Take Online Class Reddit, Paysomeonetodo Reddit, Physics Test Taker Reddit, Proctored Exam Reddit, Reddit Do My Homework for Me, Reddit Domyhomework, Reddit Homework Cheat, Reddit Homework Help, Reddit Homework for Money, Reddit Honorlock Cheating, Reddit Mymathlab Hack, Reddit Mymathlab Homework Answers, Reddit Paid Homework, Reddit Pay Someone to Do Your Homework, Reddit Pay Someone to Take Online Test, Reddit Pay for Homework, Reddit Pay to Do Homework, Reddit Test Takers for Hire, Reddit Tutors, Should I Pay Someone to Take My Exam Reddit, Statistics Test Taker Reddit, Take My Calculus Exam Reddit, Take My Class Pro Reddit, Take My Class Pro Reviews Reddit, Take My Exam for Me Reddit, Take My Math Test for Me Reddit, Take My Online Class Reddit, Take My Online Class for Me Reddit, Take My Online Exam for Me Reddit, Take My Online Exams Reddit, Take My Online Exams Review Reddit, Take My Online Exams Reviews Reddit, Take My Online Test Reddit, Take My Online Test for Me Reddit, Take My Physics Exam for Me Reddit, Take My Proctored Exam for Me Reddit, Take My Statistics Exam for Me Reddit, Take My Test for Me Reddit, Takemyonlineexams Reddit, Test Taker Reddit, We Take Classes Reddit, Write My Exam for Me Reddit}
What are your Thoughts! Write in comments and ask for help if needed
Suggest more topic Ideas
Join this subreddit to help us grow!

Hi everyone, I'm new . I'm just venting as I want to get this off my chest. I'm late 30s, no kids and don't want any. Low NC with my mom, barely speak to my dad.
My mom called the other day in regards to finding out my dad was in the hospital for a week. He is not of sound mind as he was telling my mom he was at some hospital in Cali, but he's actually in Arizona.
She said he was out in the desert testing his car. From what he's telling us, whatever happened out there doesn't make sense. So, he was tested for dementia and he doesn't have it but he needs another opinion. Doc said it's a simple forgetfulness.
His friend told me my dad was driving to the mvd and he knew where it was but he never stopped. He drove for 3 hrs without realizing at all he went too far and still insisted he was 5 minutes away from the mvd. That's not a simple forgetfulness.
Mom is 77 and dad is 78. He even got his own age wrong, he said he's 81. He's not of sound mind, he's repeating the same things, etc
So, my mom was telling me this via phone. This is how she is, she said I don't know what to do. Her typical answers for life. This is someone who doesn't read, has no computer and phone skills to look things up, has 0 knowledge on life in general
She's the type to do everything at the last minute in a panick. I said the time is now to get things in order in case he does something and kills himself. She has no access on him because he doesn't allow my mom to know anything but his Mistress has access. I don't see how legally
She has no assets in her name (never worked), gets SS and an allowance from my dad. As the spouse (who knows if she is legally), she's doing absolutely nothing in regards to researching her options etc.
My brother whos in another state is aware of whats going on. This crap has pissed me off to a T. I told her I'm not using FMLA to do anything as that's taking way too much time away from.my job
She doesn't plan for anything in advance. She always says yea I'll look into it never does and asks us the same stupid questions over and over
What passed me off more during the conversation was how she did her best, staying married to him was better and how her "children " weren't statistics. She started the process of her divorce when I was 11 but gave dad more chances.
Then she told me how she left behind her 1st born (1st born daughter is not my dad's kid) because she wasn't ready to be a mom. What?! That's a new one as she has never said that before.
During that part of the conversation, all I heard were the typical excuses, my God the amount of lies, and still standing beside an abuser, misogynist, pedophile and cheating husband like congratulations. I was done, I got off the phone (I was at work).
Is that what I'm supposed to be greatful for? I wish I could see my therapist right now. I'm like what in the Stockholm syndrome am I hearing?!
I was surprised when I heard he was in the hospital and not of sound mind. He's been released buy he wants to go back to Cali in his condition.
My bf said you're gonna have to cut off your mom soon she's expecting you or your brother to do everything. My brother is POA on mom, because if dad dies unexpectedly, she is royally ******.
I already know this will be a yelling match with the golden child brother...

Do you like props? I like props. Saved by the Bell, being a school show, features a lot of books. Here are some of them.

American History

Of all the books in the series, this is the most heavily featured. Miss Bliss is the history teacher and this is the book she uses. This is the book that in "Practical Jokes" supposedly contains the guidelines of a criminal trial in chapters six and seven. If you're wondering, no, it doesn't have anything like that. This is also the book used for Mr. Testaverde's freshman history class. They're still using it as sophomores in Mr. Dickerson's class. The book continues to make appearances throughout the series, probably because they had so many of them. The actual book is American History by John Garraty, a middle school history textbook from 1982. You can check out the teacher's edition here.

Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare Made Easy

In "The Substitute" they use various books in the Shakespeare Made Easy series from Barron's. You're familiar with this style of book, right? Elizabethan English on the left, modern English and explanations on the right. Apparently they had a set of books for various Shakespeare plays, covered the titles, and wrote Romeo and Juliet on the covers. So when Screech is serenading Lisa, he is actually reading out of Hamlet. Note the prominent skull on the cover. Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Lisa. You can read the actual Romeo and Juliet version here. Tony Crane meanwhile has what might be an evaluation copy.

Physics Made Simple

In "Beauty and the Screech" Kelly is failing physics. Screech agrees to tutor her and they fall in love. Kind of. We've all been there. All the while they're using these slim red books that don't look like textbooks. That book is supposed to be Physics Made Simple, a title in the Made Simple Self-Teaching "Encyclopedia" series. The pretense of being part of an encyclopedia explains explains why the spine looks like that. Presumably, the production had several different books in the series and someone added the word Physics to all of the covers. The contents are simple and threadbare with crude illustrations. It is indeed not the sort of textbook you would find in a US high school in the 80s. These books appear in many other editions and you can read one here. You can spot these books in other episodes filling out some book shelves.

Geometry for Fun and Challenge

The class that drives Jesse to stimulant abuse is Geometry. Jesse spends the episode buried in and stressing out with this book. High school geometry is not hard but in her defense everything is hard when you're not getting enough sleep. Anyway, the book is called Geometry for Fun and Challenge. Here is a copy of a later edition. Despite the casual and playful name, it is a standard high school textbook.

The many books of Date Auction

In "Date Auction" we meet Brian. He is a stuck up intellectual-type who is reading the Hunchback of Notre Dame at The Max. I think it's a hardcover edition of this Signet Classics translation which you can see but not read. Lisa comes on strong multiple times and I think he makes a good case that they don't have anything in common. Unwilling to take no for an answer, Lisa pretends to get sophisticated. She shows up talking about Tolstoy and carrying an armful of random books. What books? There's the Gault-Millau Le Guide de Paris, a travel guide full of stuff that doesn't make the usual travel guides. I think her copy is in French. Here is an English version. There's another book called In The GAP, an evangelical Christian how-to book. I'm guessing it was chosen for the cover. A third book, The American Character, is a book from the 1940s exploring why Americans are the way they are. A fourth book is Alexandre Dumas: The King of Romance, a biography. I think this is the only one that is fit for purpose.

Odds and ends

Toward the end of sophomore year, the production started using book covers. You know, brown grocery bags cut up and used as a jacket. Or maybe you don't know. I think it's an American thing. No more taping over stuff or trying to change the title of a book but also basically no more bookspotting. Here are some odds and ends to fill things out. Miss Bliss usually has a couple volumes of The Illustrated Library of the World and its Peoples on her desk among other books. World Geography and You cameos in a few scenes. In "Screech's Woman", we see Zack sleeping before class starts with Spanish for Mastery 1 on the desk in front of him. In "Driver's Education" there's an unknown textbook. I was surprised to learn that driving textbooks are real (I would have assumed it was all handbooks and workbooks) but I don't think they're using one because they've taped over the cover again. In the later seasons we see a few magazines, including Wrestling Superstars and Hot Rod.
That's enough, right? Too much? Okay.

Just for clarification, this happened a long LONG time ago, I was middle schooler when this happened, so not only are some details lost to the passing of years, but since this happened during a shutdown even more so. I’m making this post just to get this out there.
Many people on this sub seem to be more latediagnosed, but I wasn’t. I was diagnosed at the age of 8, because since autism and ADHD were super common on both family sides, my mom decided it’d be best to get both my brother and I tested. He has ADHD, I have both. After getting that diagnosis, my mom obviously contacted both of our schools so that we could recieve proper accommodations. Honestly, I remember it being great after, I noticed teachers helped me more, but my mom didn’t tell me I was autistic until I was 11, so I never knew why.
Then came a time obviously, that I grew up and went to middle school. My mom assumed that not only that my elementary school would notify the middle school of this, or even just that they’d do the bare minimum and check my files to see what I had and how that would shape how I acted. In middle school, I didn’t recieve any extra help from teachers despite having both an IEP and 504.
2 years passed in middle, and at the time of the event I’m describing, I was 14 in the 8th grade. I was heavily masking (although, everyone definitely noticed and made fun of me which I didn’t notice,) and I was someone who ate school lunch and not my own lunch. Lunch time was always a bit over stimulating for me, but the day it happened, they were serving fish. Now for me, the foul stench of fish is something that tipped me into either a meltdown or shutdown depending on where I was, and that combined with the loudness of the cafeteria I went into shut down. I sat down in the corner of the cafeteria, and when a classmate tried to ask if I was okay, I was completely non verbal.
We had to go back to class, and I was still in shutdown mode, so even as I walked along I felt extremely nauseous and uncomfortable. When I went into class, I was visibly discomforted, and my teacher picked it up. She yelled at me, and asked me to walk out of class. I heard her make a phone call, but due to my circumstances, I couldn’t hear her. All of a sudden, the school principal walked up to me with a wheel chair. I was super confused. My school principal was actually a really sweet guy, and he asked if I’d be comfortable getting in the wheelchair, and I shook my head no, because I didn’t need one and it made no sense. He had me get up and walk with him to the nurse.
This part was where it got really bad. Obviously, you’d think a nurse would actually look at a students information to verify some important notes, but these ladies didn’t. They brought me to a really bright room and begun asking me a lot of questions I didn’t answer (non verbal, again.) and don’t remember what they even were. The nurse who was with me was visibly and audibly mad at me and begun telling me I needed to answer her or else. I remember squeaking out some very quiet “no’s.” But I still didn’t really respond. At that point, she told me straight up that if I didn’t start talking she would have to “inject me with an anti drug serum (or whatever it’s called? I don’t remember what she called it) because I was “””clearly on drugs.”””” At that point it became a meltdown and I started wailing begging her not to do anything. She stormed out of the room and I heard her call my mom. When my mom came however, she was very clearly pissed at the nurses who would assume I was on drugs. When she found out that none of my teachers, nor staff, or those very same nurses who were supposed to check my files, knew I was autistic. She was even more mad at them. They had a long conversation, and my mom straight up told them there was no way I was on drugs. I don’t remember what happened after that besides my mom getting me McDonald’s after.
I don’t know why I often find myself reflecting on this event, but whenever anyone asks me to explain why I think the public school system is a joke and only harms autistic kids, this is what I tell them.

im not sure when else to fit this in but this was when i (F19) was 17. well to start, to say "i went," was an understatement. my parents came into my room at 12 am on a sunday night with school the next day and said "we need to talk" followed by "we're sending you away." and within 3 hours i was on a flight across the country with 0 idea on where i was heading with 2 people i had never met before.
but before i get into all of that ill start from the beginning and give some back story; im not going to lie, i was a shit kid. i stole from my parents, anything from alcohol to money to their vapes. i snuck out on multiple occasions, i lied (A LOT). and this all sounds like typical teenage behavior until you factor in the serious mental health issues (depression, anxiety, etc) and serious drug use. and less important but i had straight A's until my behavior got worse and i started failing almost every class. so although my parents were epitome of helicopter parents, i cannot completely blame my parents for sending me where they did, especially after exhausting every other option they could think of, this was their last resort.
now back to me on a flight, my brain was exhausted and didnt want to fight anymore after i had screamed and cried about going for an hour straight so i slept both flights i got on, i barely remember going through the airports. i lived in the midwest at the time, never travelled west before and was never told where i was going, so imagine my surprise when i wake up in texas, i get on another flight, wake up again in colorado. ill spare the boring details but at this point i was filled in on what was happening and told id be joining my group in just a few hours then we'd all head to utah together. at this point im still getting fast food and the adults im travelling with are letting me pick the music in the car (little did i know this was like last time id experience anything "normal" like that for the next 100 days). now i join my group and it goes well, everyone is accepting and nice enough. we get to dinner, oh god, i think i cried bc it was just straight up burnt instant mashed potatoes. everyone else here was used to that, the last thing i ate just 4 hours ago was a chipotle burrito and a chocolate chip cookie. i know i sound like a drama queen but i did get used to it, eventually and things werent that bad once you figured out the tricks to make it better. and i know im making all of this sound like i was pretty unbothered but trust me i was LIVID with my parents. we could send each other a letter once a week, for the first month all i would write is "hi, im doing fine. -(my name)" i probably wouldnt send anything if my camp guides didnt make me.
now i know a big question a lot of people have about wilderness therapy programs are "did you get abused?" and the answer to that is no, not at all, and i never saw it happen either. there was a VERY strict no touching at all policy for both staff and kids. and any kid had to be with 3 people at all times (example, if it was a kid and a kid there had to be another staff with them, if there was a kid and a staff there had to another staff or another kid, basically kids couldnt be alone with anyone) it was definitely a legit program and im thankful everyday i did get fortunate to get to go to better one than others. every week we'd go on a hikes and camp at a different spot each night, we'd do that friday- monday. tuesday-thursday we'd do chores, showers, therapy sessions, etc. (yes, one shower a week, we were allowed to take more but we'd have to carry the shower bag and soap on trips with already 40 pound packs, and usually when we were done hiking it was near dark and time for dinner then bed, so i never saw anyone take more than one a week)
i dont know how all of this worked or when it clicked in my head that i cant be a little shit anymore but it did. 2 years later i can confidently say my parents and i's relationship has gotten significantly better. i moved out after wilderness bc i had my 18th birthday while there (trust me ik, it sucked, not to mention i also missed halloween, thanksgiving, my dads bday, christmas, and new years,) i moved to the east coast and moving out was probably the best decision, i had broke the news to my parents while in wilderness still, parents/siblings (my brothers stayed home for school) can visit about 2 months in for a few days, i dont think ill ever forget the shock on their faces when i told them i wasnt moving back in after this. i told them i was talking to my therapist about what they called aftercare which was essentially exactly what it sounds like, a place to go after wilderness therapy for more care.
my therapist and i had found a place on the east coast and my parents agreed to pay for it, seeing i was doing much better and they wanted to keep it going. after i got there and got access to my phone back, i did what any single newly 18 year old would do and downloaded tinder, within a week i had a date with a guy who after another 2 weeks became my boyfriend. (sounds fast i know, he told me he knew i was the one after he found out i could start a fire without fuel or a match, he's a big outdoorsy guy lmfao, thanks wilderness therapy for teaching me bow drilling?) he was really accepting and understanding of my situation, it was hard to see each other because i was still under strict rules in my aftercare (only allowed to leave for 2 hours a day without reason 24 hours ahead of time) but we made it work until i confided in him i was getting harassed by my roommate there. after that he moved me out with him within a couple weeks even though we hadnt even been with each other 2 months yet. (i say all of this for a reason, you'll see) now i dont know what me and him were thinking because i had just moved and had 0 money to my name, and he would go out of town for trips once a month which worked for him but now his rent and food costs doubled but we were determined to make it work, especially because we wanted to prove my therapist wrong who had said before i moved out of the aftercare house "if and when, because inevitable you will ask your parents for money because you wont be able to do this alone" this aftercare was supposed to help me get things like my GED, a job, my license, or anything else to help me become independent. and, 2 months of being there, they didn't do any of that. i was basically in the same state i showed up in.
so yes after moving in with my boyfriend we did struggle for about a month, then i got my GED, then a job and my license process started within 2 months. here i am a year and 3 months after moving in, we have our own place, i still have the same job, i have my license, i have a car, and obviously im still with the same guy.
i guess my point of this post were a couple things,

1. parents, please please please do your research before giving someone else complete care of your kid, i have no doubt in my mind that if i was sent somewhere worse for my mental health i would be a lost cause at this point if not worse, it is so extremely important that the '"help" you're giving is actually helpful
   
2. has any one else gone through something similar? havent met many with the same type of backstory.
   
3. there is hope and things do get better.
   

and 4. i guess just to share my story.

Blake was listening to his sister through his headphones while she ripped into him about his hopeless addiction to pornography. He rolled his eyes as she went on and on about his sexist attitudes and his distorted views on women and sex. If his sister had only known that he was scrolling through explicitly drawn versions of Marge Simpson and Lois Griffin in various poses with various props, she would have hung up the phone and given up.
As far as Blake was concerned there were no distortions in his mind about women. He had lived through so many interactions and had seen so many videos of women being terrible people that it only reinforced his bias.
Porn didn’t judge Blake. Porn didn’t make Blake do things that he didn’t want to do. He spent time with women the way he wanted to. If he wanted a woman to act a certain way, he could find a video where she did just that.
The way he saw it, women wanted a lot, and if they didn’t get what they wanted, they made everyone’s life hell until they did. Conversely, if a man wanted something, it was tough luck. He watched his mother treat his father like that until the day he died, overworked and unhappy.
Less than a year after his mother put his father in the ground, she was with someone else that she was all too happy to control. Porn gave Blake the control, and he liked it.
“Blake, I love you, but you’re going to waste your whole life in front of a screen holding your dick.”
“Don’t you have another kid that you should be working on squirting out?”
She hung up.

Blake was caught watching videos at work again, but this time he had a plan. He knew eventually that he would be caught, but after losing three jobs for the very same reason, he hatched a simple way of ensuring that he wouldn’t lose out on any money, and be able to stick it to the boss and company he hated for no other reason than employing him.
Blake was called into his manager’s office, but before anything could be said, Blake blurted out that he needed to take mental leave. He sobbed in front of his manager while he said that the job was giving him thoughts of hopelessness and self harm, but he was smiling on the inside. He was talking just loud enough for a few people outside of the office to hear him.
His manager's face was red.
“Cornered you, bitch.” Blake thought to himself. “Good luck firing someone who’s crying out for mental help.”
Blake figured that he’d be able to stretch this out for at least a month. A month of paid time off doing what he loved.

“It’s my phone!” he muttered to himself as he rode the elevator down to his new found freedom. “If people have a problem with the things I’m looking at, perhaps they shouldn’t be looking over my shoulder and mind their own fucking business.”
He didn’t mind the other people in the elevator, or their awkward expressions. They didn’t matter to him. No one really did.

Still on a high from manipulating his boss into a corner, Blake decided to do something new on the bus ride to his apartment building. He clicked on a video. He wasn’t exactly watching the video, rather he was watching people’s reactions out of the corners of his eyes.
He kept the volume low, but up just enough so the moaning could be heard.
At first, people around him were wondering if they were actually hearing what they thought they were hearing.
He was trying not to laugh at their reactions. People began to move to other seats, and soon enough, everyone was giving him disgusted looks.
“Fuck em.” he whispered.
He noticed one man sitting in the back of the bus who was giving him quite a different look than everyone else. The man was well dressed. Perfect hair. Perfect teeth.
He was smiling at Blake.
Blake, a self admitted and overly enthusiastic homophobe, turned off the video. He began to worry that he had attracted the wrong kind of attention.

Blake was all too eager to get out of the bus and hurry towards the doors to his building. He heard a voice behind him that caused him to catch a breath and lose his forward progress. He turned around. It was the beautiful man from the back of the bus.
“Excuse me! I’d like to have a word!”
Blake found his voice hypnotic, and his stride was elegant, almost like he was floating just above the cracked and cruddy sidewalk.
“I uh… couldn’t help but notice what you were doing on the bus young man. I think I have something you might be interested in.”
Blake was lost in that voice. He had never been attracted to another man, but he was feeling things inside himself that he’d never felt before, and he hated himself for it. After a long awkward silence, Blake finally found his voice.
“Look buddy, take your pixy dust and bother someone else. You’re not my type.”
“Oh, you’re definitely my type.” The beautiful man laughed and handed him a plain white business card with nothing but a web address on it. “In so many different ways, you’re exactly my type.”
“What is this?”
“It’s my business, Kid. You want videos you can’t tear yourself away from? Trust me. It’s the newest thing.”
He winked at Blake and walked away.
-
Blake was staring at his screen while he was riding in the elevator. There was a paywall. A dollar for the first month, then a hundred dollars a month after that.
No screenshots or thumbnails, just a form for a credit card. As the doors opened to his floor, he put his phone in his pocket and decided against any further investigation. He was sure that it was a scam of some kind.

Until ten o’clock that night, Blake engaged in his normal activities with one new addition he had begun almost two weeks prior. He built two shelves in front of two different air vents in his apartment, and he had placed speakers on the shelves. The tenants in his building got to experience all of the auditory pleasures of the thrusting and jiggling and smacking that he was watching.
Blake made sure he followed the rules, and nothing came out of those speakers after ten p.m., but it was fair game until that time.
He would laugh to himself thinking about the tenants having to listen. He wasn’t sure how far the sound traveled through the vents, but he figured that most people on his floor were getting a good chunk of it.
That night though, his usual joyful time in front of his phone, his 70 inch television, and his newly discovered fondness for Cerave was marred by the thought of something unique and dangerous out there that he hadn’t seen.
After several attempts at a satisfactory denouement in his masturbatory madness, Blake finally gave up, raised the white flag on its limp post, and went to bed.

Blake kept hearing the man’s siren-like voice in his head while he tried to sleep. After almost two hours of tossing and turning, he sat up and snatched his phone from the charger and typed his credit card information into the mysterious site. He just had to know.
The site opened up and he was instantly intrigued. There were no thumbnails on any of the videos, but the descriptions on each of them were so graphic, profane, and dehumanizing that it would do us all a great service if they were not repeated here. Blake’s favorite appendage however, jumped to a zealous attention at the graphic depictions that the perverse descriptions painted within his brain.
Blake stripped off his briefs and sat down on the edge of his bed. His left hand gripped the phone while his right hand eagerly gripped something else.
He clicked on the first video and it began to load.
Blake waited.
And waited.
And waited.
The video wasn’t loading, so Blake decided to try another one, only to find that his left thumb wouldn’t move. He realized that his entire body was stiff. Nothing would move with the exception of his eyes. He couldn’t even speak.
All he could do was stare at the glowing screen in the darkness of his apartment.
After a moment, his mind started to race while his body remained ridiculously rigid.

Three hours had passed. Blake had been able to see every minute tick by. He had watched his battery meter slowly run down to eighty percent. He had thought that his screen would eventually turn off, but it never did. It was still trying to load the video.
Something was tickling his nose and his face itched. His back had begun to ache and he felt some tiny pin pricks along his still turgid tool. He wanted to cry, but nothing would come. In fact, his eyes had begun to dry because he had not been able to blink.
Blake watched another hour go by before his body finally succumbed to exhaustion and fell into a deep sleep, in spite of the fact that he could not close his eyes.

He awoke six hours later and his vision was partially obscured. Still holding his phone and his phallus, Blake tried to scream. The sun was now coming through the window of his apartment. He could see his reflection in the mirror that was on the opposite wall. His hair was long, and it was white. A spotty and wiry beard had exploded out of his face and it hung down to just above his enlarged and sagging nipples set in a sagging and flabby chest.
His breaths were shorty and ragged; phlegm was gurgling with each inspiration.
His arms and legs were covered in large liver spots and all of his skin was a purple paper thin.
He was old.
The shock of seeing his hunched and rigid reflection had staved off the feeling of pain from his nether regions for only a moment. His fingernails were growing on his hands. Some of the yellow things were curling around his phone while the others were curling and jabbing into what now looked like a deflated balloon stretched too thin, that was desperately trying to retreat into his abdomen against his rigid grip.
The battery on his phone was blinking.
It was about to die. He wondered what happened when the battery ran out, but somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew exactly what would happen when that loading screen finally went dark.
His sister’s words were all he could think about as the screen and the world went dark.

After several nights of peace, Blake’s neighbors noticed an awful smell emanating from the air vents. After several complaints, the building’s Super opened Blake’s apartment and found the withered, still rigid frame of a dead old man sitting upright on the edge of the bed.
After taking several photos that he would post later on social media and stealthily absconding with almost a full bottle of Cerave, the Super called the authorities.

This isn't my first R4R post, and it's not likely to be my last if the past is any indicator of how this could go 😅 But I'm cautiously optimistic, so here goes nothing.
I'm fairly new to being a single woman living alone. I'm recently divorced and figuring out what life on my own looks like. Some days are better than others. I just bought a house, and spend a good portion of my free time working on making it mine & planning future projects. I love Taylor Swift an insufferable amount, but I have eclectic taste in music and we're likely to find some common ground there. I also enjoy hiking, collecting pretty rocks, reading, and crafty stuff.
Looks wise, I'm average height (5'5) and chubby in a cute way (if you're into that. No need to be mean if not please). Dark hair, pale as fuck, green eyes. I'd define my style as "alternative art teacher" or "weird aunt that everyone gets along with." Haha
I like to talk to someone consistently, but the chemistry has to be right, ya know? Even if it's not romantic chemistry, it's so nice to look at your phone and be excited for that little notification icon. I want that sort of connection with someone. I'd like to find a romantic connection, but I understand things need to move much slower in that department, so I'm looking for friends first.
I like men who are taller than me, older than me, and smarter than me. I like women who breathe oxygen and are kind.
Eastern time zone & within driving distance of Indiana is a necessity for me. I've struggled with a lot of people who can't/don't want to meet in person and I don't want any excuses for that to happen. If it can't be in real life, I can't give it my energy anymore.

Me (24F) and my roommate (24F) are best friends, I care about her so much as a person but she is always getting mad at me over guys and I don’t know how to communicate with her.
Last night 3 of us went out to the club, these guys invited us all to their bottle service section and I started talking to one of them. 30 minutes later I start getting these texts on my phone from my roommate accusing me of ditching them for a guy. We are supposed to go to Cancún in a month and she was threatening to call the trip off, texting me to never speak with her again. I responded immediately to the texts that I was so sorry, left the guy, found them and we left in the Uber together. My roommate continued to threaten to call the whole friendship off and accusing me of always ditching my friends for guys. I tried to explain to her I had no idea she was feeling this way, and the second I did I came to her and apologized. To this she called me defensive. When we got home I was crying and begging her for forgiveness but she was telling me I always act like the victim, defensive and toxic. She also started bringing up past situations which makes me feel there is some deep resentment there. Our other friend was just standing there silent the whole time.
Just last month I was going on a first date with a guy and she was helping me get ready. I never go on dates with guys or even talk to guys in general so I was nervous & wanting to make a good first impression. She told me she was going to our friends place and left before I left. I locked the door. 2 hours into the date things were going so well and I wasn’t checking my phone. Turns out my roommate didn’t bring her keys and I locked her out. I open my phone to texts of her so angry at me for this, and that “even if it was the king of England” she would never ignore her friends when they were in crisis and locked out. I left the date and went home, unlocked the door, but she still didn’t return until an hour later. I tried to explain that I didn’t see her texts but she wasn’t having it, she was telling me whenever a guy is involved I’ll always choose them over a friend.
Another time I was talking to another guy at a bar and she abruptly left to the bathroom, I wanted to go with her but she just left in such a hurry. A bit later (not an hour) she texted me she was crying in the bathroom for an hour, and that I was ditching her for the guy. I immediately left but she was still so angry.
In all these situations I’ve tried to act like the bigger person, apologized, and begged for her to forgive me. To which, she continues to get mad and yell at me.
I feel like this has become a reoccurring theme and I’m scared to go on this trip with her next month. We are going to a party resort in Cancun and I feel like the second I talk to a guy or a guy speaks to me it will be the same thing all over again. I don’t want her to call the friendship off in the middle of a foreign country. I need some advice on how to approach my fears with her, or if it is even worth it to go on this trip at all.

I caught my ex emotionally cheating on me and I confronted her about it and she disappeared after the fact is the short form of what happened. I posted previously about it if anyone cares to read.
When she left, she left all of her stuff in my apartment and out of respect and legality I did nothing with it besides pack it all up for her and waited for her to pick it up. It took an entire month for her to come get it. The entire time she kept saying that she wasn't in a relationship with this guy she said was her "friend".
She kept gaslighting me saying he's just a friend etc etc. making me second guess if I was crazy or not. Well a couple days ago she informed me she was coming with a uhaul to pick her stuff up. So I decided to put all of her stuff outside because I couldn't emotionally handle or hold back my anger over what happened so I decided that was the best course of action.
She didn't think so, she knocked on the door and I made the mistake of opening the door. She requested that she comes inside to do a "walk through". I said no all of your stuff is outside. She put her foot in the door and step inside while I was trying to close the door. I decided screw it go ahead.
As she was walking through she started taking stuff like all the cleaning supplies I bought, food I bought and kitchen ware I bought. I told her all that is mine and she said "No, I bought all of this. I was the only one who cleaned and cook" which was a lie because she wouldn't do anything besides lay down in bed and be on her phone majority of the time.
I got really irritated and went off on her. I called her a cheater and a liar. You left me for a loser. You're the most dishonest person I have ever met. She kept saying "I'm not dating him, we aren't together, I didn't cheat on you. I don't know whats wrong with you dude". I said should I go outside and tell him that? Should I tell him how much of a liar you are?
She responded with "He knows everything already". I decided it was the best course of action to not go outside because I know I would go into a blind rage and end up in jail for sure.
Afrer she left. The next day I made the mistake of looking on both of their facebooks and they updated their relationship status that they are together. The day they "made it official" happened to be the next day after she did her disappearing act. It felt like they were "hiding" their relationship status until she got her stuff back. So they made a team effort together to do what they did, which is insane to me.
I just can't believe how much I did for some one who stabbed me in the back the way they did. The amount of support, the amount of care, the amount of love I gave to her and she did what she did.
She even acts like I was the bad guy, I was the evil person. The whole reason I was upset with her was because she was talking to this guy and lying to me about it.
I'm so angry, everyday so far I feel this rage. I got a gym membership yesterday and worked out last night. When I was done working out for some reason when I was driving home I just started crying out of nowhere. I don't know what triggered it but I couldn't stop. It came to me that I haven't had time to cry or feel sad, I have just been angry, I feel it even now as I'm typing it. I can't seem to stop being so upset.

Dream and Shadow aspects
A puppetry Path. Taking control over non sapient Remnants and using them for combat.
Dream for dominating their minds; Shadow for its (overshadowing) domineering, binding (your shadow sticks to you) and copying (your shadow copies you) nature.
It's a Natural Spirit / Remnant utilizing Path, similar to those practiced in Everwood, but the relationship is a bit different - the Sacred Artist totally dominates the spirit rather than acting more like a partner, and the nature of their bond is also different, a Soul Oath Contract isn't necessary (but it is possible... assuming compatible madra types - unless you're comfortable switching Paths entirely).
It also resembles the Beast King's Path, but focused on spirits and Remnants, rather than Sacred Beasts, and it's angled towards control rather than communication and cooperation.
Madra is a dark violet in colour, with shining violet stars. Cycling this madra tends to make one feel more confident and possessive, similar to Blackflame of the Black Dragons and and Flowing Flame of the Gold Dragons respectively.
Goldsign from Stringed Bones Remnants tend to take the form of ethereal black ribbons tied above the joints of the fingers (that means every joint, of every individual finger), the wrists, elbows, shoulders, neck, waist, knees, ankles.
The Path is also compatible with Night-Drinking Peacocks, which may grant them its hypnotic tail feathers as their Goldsign; or the Moonlight Ensnaring Cuckoo bird, its vicious yet delicate talons; or the Snake-Eating Sagittarius bird, its dreamweaving crest to protect their own minds; and finally, there's also the Somnolent Songbird, which grants them a pharynx that allows them to imitate its birdsong which grants anyone sleeping and dreaming around it to become conscious in their dreams. They have been trying to get functional wings, but it seems the heavens themselves deny them their wish.
Strengths & Drawbacks
Though the Path offers great force multiplier benefits at lower levels of advancement, it requires significant resource investment to stay competitive at higher stages of the Sacred Arts. Also, while having a veritable swarm of Remnants to unleash upon your enemies - while you yourself remain safely further back - sounds amazing, there are some downsides to consider as well: this Path does not offer you direct personal combat power, you need to rely on your Remnant minions for that, which also means you need to catch stronger Remnants somehow and/or share advancement resources with your minions, on whom you depend on for protection, while keeping a careful balance to not let them get too powerful and slip the leash. Swarm tactics might work at the lower stages of the Sacred Arts, but it gets more and more unfeasible as you advance - as you have to deal with the Soulfire baptized bodies of your opponents, and even further up with willpower shenanigans.
Techniques
Shamanism: their spirit domination technique. Subjects the target's mind and spiritual functions to the artist's control, puppeteering them. It only works on Remnants and spirits. Their Path is not suited towards dominating the minds / living spirits of Sacred Artists, unless they're much weaker than you or weakened somehow - though attempting to do so can be used as a mental / spiritual attack. They technically can dominate Sacred Instruments, which could be very useful for dodging hits and taking an opponent by surprise.
Ventriloquism: their partial spirit domination technique, much faster than Shamanism and this speed is the main advantage of this technique, taking control of a Remnant quickly in an emergency. This technique is also used in (slightly) more partnership-like relationships between the artist and Remnant, as well as in situations where the Remnant's natural instincts would be more useful, or simply to reduce the number of minions they need to control directly - not totally suppressing their mind and power, but issuing them compulsion commands / subjecting them to your will.
Incarnation: allows a Sacred Artist to use a Remnant minion as an... "avatar", inhabiting their form / wearing their skin by utilising the connection between them and the Remnant's suppressed mind and will. It's basically a method to project their madra from a distance without needing an actual Soul Oath Contract. They mostly used it to subdue and induct new Remnant minions. Very madra intensive to perform; also the minion that served as the vessel would need to vent any remaining madra lest their core get permanently tainted.
Sovereignty: their Enforcer technique, allows them to oppose and undo any mind or spirit affecting techniques on themselves. Can also be used as a mental and spiritual focusing aid, keeping them on track while performing repetitive or exhausting tasks and for keener spiritual control.
False Darkness: their Ruler technique to hide in shadows, most effective in dense urban or forested or rocky terrain (because a random blob of darkness in the middle of a field is hardly inconspicuous). They hide using this technique while sending their Remnants ahead to fight or to scout around.
Jade Cycling Technique
Netherworld Karmic Ties: a Cycling Technique that has an binding and pulling in addition to a whirlpool to draw in a Remnant to advance to Gold. This characteristic association with strings also ties in to its benefits: it helps with long distance projection of madra.
Iron Body
Iron Fist Iron Body: a classic, simple and basic Iron Body that grants strength and durability benefits to the Sacred Artist. It's better suited for more directly physical combat focused Paths, but in this case it serves to offset the lack of personal power in the Path. Requires martial arts prowess to properly showcase its strength, which is dealing powerful physical blows.

Freshly back and awake after a twelve day stint for my first time there. I knew that I wanted to go in general, and while I didn't have a firm itinerary planned out, there was one main goal that I had in terms of sites within the country. The main video game that I play is Beatmania IIDX, and it has internal trophies which are represented as badges. Your profile allows you to assign up to five of them as visible when you start a new round, and there are badges to earn for playing at least one round in every prefecture in Japan, as well as every subregion. Getting the Kanto badge meant that I needed to play at least one round in Tokyo, Kanagawa, Saitama, Gunma, Tochigi, Ibaraki, and Chiba. After five days, I had that complete, and now I have a permanent record of this trip within the game itself. There was also a time-limited event to earn points in IIDX in order to exchange them for goods, such as a hat, or a towel, or a new account card and a poster, and I managed to get that taken care of in somewhat dramatic fashion. I did some other things too.
Primary general points
· Getting Suica set on the phone and using it was generally painless. There were only two times where I needed to summon the help of a resident JR employee to clear up an issue with the gate not reading the card for some reason.
· Most vocal interaction which I had was the opposite of painless, because I continuously kept trying to speak Japanese and failing, and most people would realize that I was completely failing at it and responded with English (some with full on sentences, others with just a few words). There were a few rare times that I was able to express my intent in Japanese, receive a response, understand the response, and reply as necessary, but that was rare. Once English was invoked, I would stay with it, because that's what they were expecting. I've been self-studying the language for more than twenty years in varying degrees of intensity, and while my reading comprehesion seemed sufficient enough for this trip, and while I didn't expect my speaking to be as good because I don't have any opportunity to practice speaking, I came away bitterly disappointed in my vocal and speaking comprehension in terms of my interaction with people there. Even within the trip I could at least overhear common chitchat better, but any time I needed to converse with someone for some reason, I usually needed to have things repeated several times and broken down before I finally realized what was being said.
· You are going to be asked about separately buying a bag with every non-food purchase. Accept or immediately present one that you are carrying to indicate how your purchase shall be bagged.
· I never once had my passport requested for presentation.
· Only once did a person volutnarily reach out to address me, and it was just to ask me where I was from in English. Otherwise, everyone left me alone the entire time.
· Weather through the period was ideal. Mid to upper 70F/25C range and only a few days where it was rainy, and even then it wasn't a downpour. A while ago I personally resolved to only wear suits in public and I purchased a new pair of Mephisto shoes after hearing reports of the extensive walking causing problems for traveller's feet and shoes. My attire help up well; there were only a few times that I needed to avoid sunlight to not get too hot, and I have no issues to report from the shoes.
· I only got X'd out of a restaurant one time, and I think it's only because I wandered into it before it was ready for service. Otherwise, I never once waited in line for food, I never once went to restaurant more than once, and all food was acceptably priced for the portion and excellent for the quality.
For these per-day recounts, I wrote them contemporaneously at the end of each day, so you'll need to forgive me for some writing being in present tense and other writing being in past tense.
Day 1 - Travel, Sugamo, Ikebukuro
Non stop flight from Chicago OHare to Haneda. 12 hours. Good thing I usually don't watch movies, because that just means that all I needed to do was binge a few to make the trip go by.
Pre-trip research led me to choose APA Sugamo as my home base for the visit, and I think that it was a very fortuitious choice. I'll have more to say about it later.
Some awkward encounters happened right away upon checking in here. I was at the nearby Family Mart to buy some things and I didn’t catch that he was making sure I wanted a bag until he repeated it five times. Yes, I’ll take it. Before getting there I was coming down to ground level after checking into my room, and when that person saw that I would have been the only other person going down to the ground, they ducked right back out. I was warned on both of these kinds of things happening, so I guess it’s good to have that immediately out of the way. It would turn out that people deliberately avoiding me was rare throughout the trip.
Despite not sleeping on the trip, I had freshly arrived and had no sense of being tired, so once I had my stuff down, I went off to Ikebukuro right away. No picture or video truly conveys how crowded these areas can get. It can only be experienced in person to be understood.
I soon found Round One Ikebukruo and went right in. So dense and loud. It’s entirely alien to me to see no less than ten IIDX machines in operation and all of them in use. I dumped the money into random tickets, as I foresaw doing, but now I have to wonder if that was the right thing to do, or if it’s tied to that location. I guess I’ll find out.
The forecast is for rain so I need to be in a hurry to figure out where I’m going to go. There might be only one day left for me to get my time limited toys.
Day 2 - Kawasaki, Kanagawa - Utsunomiya, Tochigi - Oomiya, Saitama
My body decided that it only needed four hours of sleep this morning. Without doing more research, I somehow decided to assume that more of the Round One locations were close to 24 hours of operation much like Ikebukuro. Answer: no. I hopped on the train early and went to Shibuya first, but it was very quiet, so I decided to get some of the travels out of the way today and headed south to Kawasaki. I still needed to dawdle for a while until Silk Hat opened at 900AM, and when I finally was able to get inside, I was only able to verify that their store had several allotments of the campaign goods and all allotments were out. Played one round on a monitor that was surprisingly blurry, and I don’t know why that would be the case with a lightning model, but it was, so that was enough.
After doing all of that, I resolved to try to go to Chiba and Ibaraki afterwards. I figured that with Kanagawa and Tokyo likely all out, going to the outskirts would make more sense. However, there was an injury on one of the rails that threw everything off normal, and the train I found myself riding was bound for Utsunomiya instead. Seeing as how I was going to go there eventually, I rolled with it.
It doesn’t take too long to move away from Tokyo metropolitan area before you encounter more forest like areas and rice paddy fields. Halfway through the trip I noticed that two older women suddenly hopped off while the train was waiting to go to the next stop, and I followed them when I realized they found the express line. Utsunomiya has a substantial size to its area and buildings but it was very quiet on the streets there in midday. Walked a mile to Sega GIGO, found that they didn’t even have the goods tracker up. All out. Interesting buliding for it having several neon signs, all vintage and authentic at that. Getting to there from the south meant cutting through Saitama, so I knew I had enough time to make one last attempt there. Research shown two stores being near Oomiya station, so that’s where I ended up. Taito Station was immediately visible upon exit, and they have two IIDX machines specifically with 20 gram springs, which is closer to my home setup and that much lighter than standard 50 gram springs. The final hour drew near and I made one last visit to that city’s Round One. Unlike nearly every other place I went to so far, it only had one IIDX machine. However, and maybe because of that, their goods listing didn’t show everything as out. One painful language exchange later, I was able to discern that what I wanted was available. When you spend more than 3000 yen in a single credit, the game wants to verify if you really want to proceed. It does it again at 6000 and 9000. Yes, I really do. But, having made that money dump I was able to get my hands on the e-amuse card and poster with fifteen minutes left before the deadline. Mission complete. By this point in the day it was exceedingly difficult to even look at the screen so I was ready to come home, but not before getting some goods at the Oomiya Book Off and redeeming what I could for points at Round One Ikebukuro. By the end of the day the only thing that I could tolerate doing was to buy some chicken and nigiri from the nearby train station. Good enough. At that point in the day my body felt like it wants to rock back and forth after all the train riding done today. But, it ended up being worthwhile after all.
One nostalgic feeling I had the most strongly in the day was at the Utsunomiya location where the smell of it triggered past buried memories of yesteryear. I think I want to attribute it to the stronger second hand cigarette smell but I’m not sure - all the same I felt its presence strongly there. Also, I don’t see Oomiya (or really Saitama itself) mentioned as a fun place to go, but it might serve as an acceptable alternative to Ikebukuro, only not as massive in scale of human quantity. Depending on how the trip goes in total I may end up back there for IIDX playing, at least if I don’t find any other place that has 20G springs.
Day 3 - Akihabara
With the travels out of the way, it was time to keep things more regionalized and stick to one area, and there is shopping that needs to be done, so it was off to Akihabara and to see how much of other posted tales hold true. The answer is that it is a lot of it. Kotobukiya can stand to open sooner than noon. Super Potato is indeed priced for a market which wants to snap up anything cheap - I at least found Xi for under 500 and felt that it would have been a bit silly to buy only that, but it didn’t make spending 2000 on one single issue of Arcadia any better. I had no idea that Hey Arcade was right next to both of them; while it was assuredly nice to be there and see the row of Cave shooters among everything else, something got messed up with my registration of my new eamuse card with everything else, so that quickly added to my stress. Having to carry around a few hundred dollars worth of crap with every step didn’t help matters. At least I was able to help a person recover their lost phone by applying a bit of logic to the situation and deducing it to belong to the only person there who looked French, as it was on the Lock Screen. They were relieved, yes. Then, rain came, and it was more than I was anticipating, and I left the umbrella at the room, particularly since I knew I’d be shopping this day. It also turns out to have not mattered much, because I went to visit Bic Camera so that I could get myself a hair trimmer while here, and that turned into me finding a bunch of Kit Kats available, so that meant a second bag. The wind kicked out the rain and my umbrella. In trying to get as many gifts secured as possible, I found some gachapon, but it needed 100Y coins, and I didn’t need paper money in the trip yet. After fighting with maps, I found an ATM to get cash, and got the gachapon. I came home late with feeling rather crushed about the day in that I couldn’t take pictures very well with having to juggle weather and bagging considerations. There were some nice parts of the experience to be sure but between that and more gawking at Super Potato pricing ($135 for PS3 Caladrius? $6000 for Pulstar?) and seeing similar markups on other goods, I don’t think it’s unfair to say that there is a reputation that this area carries and the pricing is there to go with it.
Day 4 - Laundry Day. Shibuya, Harajuku, Shinjuku
I was so drained at the end of Day 3 that I fell asleep on the bed immediately after ending the night call, which meant that I woke up at 0200AM to a room that was fully lit. This meant that I needed to look up how to resolve my eamuse problem or else I wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. I did both. Awake at 0800AM meant that I had time to do laundry while I figured out what to do with the rest of the day. This meant that I was able to get more of Sugamo in pictures, and it was nice to be able to walk among the actual residences, and do other things like come across a school as it was actually in session. With them being close by and all in succession, I figured to get Shibuya, Harajuku, and Shinjuku visited. It turns out to have been a good day for it, as the temperature was perfectly cool and no rain came, and the sun came out only for a little bit. Shibuya somehow doesn’t seem quite as large in scope in person but the crowds were definitely there, and it is much more hilly than I anticipated as well. After wandering around and not seeing any arcade for a bit, I came across a series of coffee and cookie shops and remained strong to not indulge. It was there while looking at a Disney store (which gets tourists to take pictures of it for some reason) that the song Alone Again came on through the nearby public speakers. What timing. It drove me to finally get a treat for myself, and the frozen latte (black sesame and houji) and croissant (dark chocolate filing) were certainly good, it ended up costing more than the dinner I’d have later this day. I found a seclusion with a garbage can to eat the food and not carry the trash around, then an arcade soon after, and it was time to determine if I could fix the problem. Just like an easy click, it was. New to trash. Old to new. Done. Why did it have to be this way. Harajuku came next, and the environment there was distinct. This one in particular felt like it was an extended carnival atmosphere with the single tight knit market street and emphasis on fashion. A conversation with a freelance artist in the subway actually went well enough that I didn’t feel dumb. The same sensation carried to Shinjuku as well, only it was more spread out. Kabuki street was interesting to see in person, and I didn’t get any unseemly vibes from the place. Maybe it’s different later at night. A return home at a reasonable time allowed me to go down Sugamo’s market street a bit; most of it was closed, but it was interesting to come across the few remaining stores that were open by 0800PM, and more so the one that wasn’t. Coming back to the hotel I found a 24 hour ramen shop with nobody inside. The chef didn’t want to speak and only pointed to the ordering kiosk when I addressed her. The food came through a slot in the obscured window. At least her thank you as I left was a bit more warm, and the food was certainly delicious. To match with the matcha dessert that I bought from Sugamo station, I swung by a 7Eleven to get a drink, and found a milk tea for cheaper than a vending machine. The overhead music in the store was an instrumental version of Alone Again.
Day 5. Ibaraki - Mount Tsukuba, Miraidaira. Kashiwa, Chiba. Akihabara 2.
Awake at 0500AM on my own and knowing the current forecast meant that my envisioned plan for the day was quickly realized. Reaching the Tsukuba Express starting point from Akihabara needs you to get very far down into the ground before getting out into sunlight. I was on the ride early enough to see schoolchildren going about their commute, some of them being no older than ten and going about it unaccompanied. The people of Tsukuba seemed to be particularly helpful and cheerful that day, even despite my Suica issues at the gate. I didn’t ask his name at the counter but the man at the service desk was eager to speak with me about my career and what I was doing there. One asked where I was from on the way up to the summit and another caught my cable car ticket on the way down. There had to have been a few of them who saw my doing this climb in my business attire and thinking me to be a complete idiot if not outright mocking them for doing it that way while they employed the use of dual walking sticks and the like. I know I read some reports of the home stretch being difficult, but it did get pretty close to being an actual rock climb instead of a trail hike for that part of it. A quick stop to Miraidaira on the way back to get the Ibaraki play. The way the town center greets you upon leaving the rail gate struck me as incredible, as well as for how quiet it was. It was like walking onto a movie set. I did find the sweet shop after the play, and that was another painful interaction yet again. Oh well. Two quick stops down Tsukuba Express and one across from Tobu Urban Park line was enough to have a toe in Chiba, and I didn’t even need to leave the physical building of the train station to get to the basement level to find a machine for a play. Thank you, Kashiwa, you were great. Gunma is all that’s left. The descent from Tsukuba did take some earnest exertion, and after doing that the two stops, that put me back in Akihabara about when I anticipated; what I failed to anticipate is how much that place seems to drain on me. I think I just need to eat at an actual dinner time. Once I got back to Sugamo and had food it was a bit better, but while in Akihabara and being around that environment, and not finding things on a shopping list, I found myself just standing still and watching life pass me by. I hemmed and hawed a while for a maid girl’s hour of service for chitchat, but eventually I talked myself out of it because I just didn’t want potential trouble, just like her name. Komaru. I thought about doing this once just to say that I did, but I ultimately decided against it. You cannot go to this place with the expectation that you will find anything unless it is advertised and new. If you are looking for anything used, don’t count on it being there. You also cannot go there without having a strong resolve to not engage with the touts, because it becomes disheartening to see them do their job and blankly stare at the world when they're forced to stand out there and do nothing. Back to Sugamo to find a place that advertised Wagyu but the price they wanted was more than I wanted to spend. The ramen and seaweed & rice servings were fine, but they advertised endless drink and I didn’t receive that. All for $20? No, son. I did better than that elsewhere, I’ll know better now. Long day.
Day 6 - Tokyo Flea Market, Nakano Broadway, Ueno.
The weather couldn’t have been better for this weekend. I’ve read reports that the flea market held near the horse race track will be arbitrarily cancelled regardless of what is reported on the website, but my gut instinct told me that it would occur today, and it did. Turns out that a flea market is a flea market which is a flea market, no matter where it happens. Same allotment of clothes and stuff that few people really want to buy, although I was able to find myself some neckties at least. I probably overpaid based on what I saw later in the route, but that’s fine. They look nice. I settled on some shot glasses for a gift as well, but I’m surprised that I can’t ind something ornate that isn’t part of a sake set. Seated in the shade with a chocolate churro while rap music played in the background - it’s like I never left home. A woman came to sit across from me for the sake of sitting down; she was from Holland and today’s her last day in the country. Her husband came with food eventually. She had three weeks here and went to several places (allegedly, she didn’t list them out) and I asked her about Nakano Broadway. She didn’t make it there. It’s a good thing that I did - this is probably the kind of environment and market that people expect of Akihabara now, and maybe that’s how Aki was years ago, but it’s different from this. What’s more interesting is that Mandarake has a larger presence here than in Akihabara (so it seems to me), and their stores had floor after floor of any and every kind of pop culture product that’s been made in the past sixty years at least. Buttress that with extensive watch and jewelry stores and a slender arcade in the basement, and it’s a very well centralized microcosm of the country’s economy on the whole. I actually made a point to have dinner earlier than usual this time and found a place to serve some deep fried pork cuts served with rice and soup on the side. It was enough, and very well made. The day had not ended and my bag was heavy with several books purchased there, so I reported back to base briefly and decided to try visiting somewhere else, and settled on Ueno. Just as I arrived, a festival was underway where local teams of people made an elaborate show of carrying a home made shrine to a temple. Streets were officially blocked by police to allow the procession. In following the line I came up against makeshift food and amusement stands with the traditional toy gun shooting and goldfish catching. It appears that this is an official “start of summer” festival and I was able to watch it all happen in front of me. That was the good part of the day.
Day 7 - Tachikawa / Kunitachi. Shinjuku 2.
One of the games that I've never played is Beatmania III The Final. I've played some BM3 7th Mix years ago, but not The Final. I found a location that has one - World Game Circus in Tachikawa. In looking around that area before the trip, I saw that there was a nearby shinkansen museum, and not much else, so I figured that going to both places would make that walk worthwhile. Turns out that it wasn’t a museum in the proper sense of a dedicated building. Rather, it was a bullet train engine car on the side of a building that was unrelated, and that was it. A cute interaction happened here - when I approached the car, I heard some children running around inside, so I approached cautiously without knowing if I was encroaching upon someone else's alloted time or something. Once the children saw me, they gave a hearty irrashaimase as I entered, and the boy stamped a paper and presented it to me. Perfect. Despite it not being a typical musem, the card did have some interesting content, and it's good to see some kind of commemoration for their achievements and progression in that industry regardless. They have a lot to be proud about there. Off to WGC. Maps wasn’t lying about the walk taking twenty minutes. It's a good thing that I looked it up on streetview beforehand, because I otherwise would have walked right past it without knowing it was there. Then there it was, and there I confronted a past that I couldn’t visit again. Sure, I got to play BM3 The Final at last, but my timing was off, my hands were off, there wasn’t much I could do. Along with that I can say that I’ve played on a Beatmania II cabinet, and that was better than 5th Style at least. But that was it, that was all I could stand to do. It was right there and I couldn’t bear to put up with it more than a few rounds at best. Dream big, because only disappointment follows if your smaller dreams ever are fulfilled. I don’t know why finding IKEA back in Shinjuku was so difficult, but it took a while. I bought a bag, and then I bought a bag because the other bag was at the end of the register, which makes sense. I did feed myself before getting back to the Taito station to play some songs, but it still wasn’t good enough. All thumbs. Ended the day with laundry since the timing worked. Speaking of making dreams big, it’s time to cross another one off the list tomorrow. I can’t wait.
Day 8 - Takasaki, Gunma. Oomiya, Saitama 2.
It’s a good thing that I only needed to get to Ikebukuro to transfer over to the next stop, because that’s where that particular run ended for some reason. I wonder what was up. Speaking of things getting messed up on trains, I managed to find my way on a train that needed a separate ticket, which I didn't have. The conductor found me right away and had me disembark at Uraja for me to wait for the proper transfer. The weather forecast said there’d be rain, and the travel forecast said it would take two hours to get there, and neither lied. I feel like I had more people staring at me in Gunma than other places. I will say that I found the Takasaki station area to be rather charming, with the stores that it had inside and the emphasis on the music culture there. It’s one thing to offer a piano to the public to play, but it’s another to have a public willing to use it. This location had both. Having what was essentially a Bic Camera built into the facility was a nice touch too. The Leisure Land arcade was sandwiched between other floors that had its own offering of gaming stuff, so that was an unexpected bit of a fun thing to look through. The area was clean and sparsely populated, and it wasn’t picked clean of all matter of things that would normally get snapped up, so that was interesting. Finally, I made it over to the machine. They had separate fans for each location. I got the songs and then the medals came, and that’s that. Kantou Seiou. I would have stayed a bit longer but I wanted to have the medals show up right away, and my internet wasn’t cooperating, so that’s all I could do. I think there was an Internet cafe that I could have used in the facility, but I didn’t want to deal with an awkward conversation. I did get some Lawson on the way out, as well as some trinkets from the local Gunma-chan store as well as some mini croissants and some macademia cookie things. More vocal awkwardness. Omiya was one of the stops on the way back, and I found a place to serve omrice, so that’s another one off the list. No shoes allowed inside. The value wasn’t there but the service was good enough, as was the flavor. The machines with the 20G springs are indeed legit. Back home in time for some McDonalds, and that’s another food-checklist item marked off. Takoyaki mayo dipping sauce - somehow it’s both salty and sweet. While returning to the hotel, I did happen to encounter an argument amongst two teenaged locals where the guy ended up half-heartedly kicking the girl and getting her to cry. I wonder what their argument was about. I didn’t play hero, but someone else did so enough to prevent an escalation and called the police over.
Day 9 - Sugamo, Tokyo Sky Tree, Akihabara 3, Kanda
Up early enough to decide that I should at least visit the Sky Tree while I'm there just to say that I did, and that I should visit the Sugamo street market upon its open since it was right there in front of me. I'm glad to have done so. With everything open, this felt more like what one would think to expect from a flea market environment that's operated and supported by the local populace. Small stores were open both sides of the street that go on for many blocks, and some tents and tables were set up to sell second hand goods as well. I was able to find someone selling a US Morgan dollar and he wanted only 2000Y for it, so that was an easy buy. If I would have known better to anticipate this area, I wouldn't have felt compelled to buy kitchy tourist crap that is expected as gifts elsewhere. If you are looking for a place to idly shop around that doesn't get extremely crowded and has an authentic local feel to it, consider making a point to come here. Off to Sky Tree. Getting the combo ticket for the second deck was worth it just for the lack of crowds on the upper area. If you're going to come here, consider getting a phone selfie stick or something of the kind so that you can take pictures against the windows without the structure scaffolding obstructing your view. On the subject of shopping again, this might be another area to consider visiting just for the sake of the specialty stores to be found here, such as those for chopsticks or hairpins. To close out the day, my wife reminded me to look for something from the Square Enix cafe, so that meant swinging by Akihabara yet again. Since it is within a walkway, it was a bit of a pain to find this place even with using maps, but I eventually found it and got what she wanted to find. Played some IIDX at Game Panic, which was surprisingly small and the one machine that was avaialble to play had some 2P turntable issues, so that didn't last all that long. Dinner was at a nearby place that specalized in tofu, so that was a good ramen serving with that infused. For the evening, I wandered south to Kanda to get night pictures, and found it to feel pretty similar to Ueno.
Day 10 - Ginza, Tokyo, Kanda & Akihabara 4
Launrdry in the morning. I also wanted to say that I went to Ginza in my time here, and I didn't research anywhere to go to keep it a surprise. It was a bit warmer and sunnier than usual that day, and I stuck to the main road for most of the walk, so I can't say that I found too many points of the interest along the path that I walked starting from Yurakucho station and heading out that way. High class store for high class people, and that's too rich for my peasant blood. Similarly for Tokyo proper itself, I suppose I'd have to needed to wander far away from the Yamanote vicinity to find points of interest there, as I didn't encounter anything that was remarkably distinctive here in comparison to other areas that I have previously seen. Continuing north across Nihonbashi brought me to Kanda and eventually to Akihabara yet again, as if it was a magnet that pulled me inside every time. For the sake of trying a different place I chose to play some IIDX at the Leisure Land arcade there, and I'm glad to have done that, as those machines were probably in the best coniditon that I encountered within that area. Dinner was at Tenkaippin, which I didn't realize until after I placed the order was cash only. The clerk didn't request it beforehand but I voluntarily left my passport there to show that I would return, and promptly went to the same ATM that I had found days prior in order to get the cash to pay for the bill.
Day 11 - Haneda T3, Nishi Nippori, Nippori, Uguisuidani, Otsuka, Shibuya, Shinjuku, Ikebukruo, home.
The end. I resolved to take the subway over to Haneda today to get the one luggage over there and stored, and it’s a good thing that I did - there’s no easy solution for getting over there without encountering a crowd. If anything I wonder if Yamanote is actually better. Regardless, I got that much done. With the day left to go, I ventured to Nishi Nippori and I needed to summon the map several times to make sure I found the location, as it was as obscure as it could get. Just a sign on the ground for the third floor, a stairway that led to the back, an elevator that had no decoration, a single room that housed everything. Arcade PCB kits on shelves, joystick panels in exposed boxes, nicotine odor from years past - it was like I was transported to 1995 upon entry, beyond the fact that the games weren’t as old. Most of them, they did have a lot going for SF3 3rd yet. I was able to take care of some game business in a hurry since I was the only one there. It was a very pleasant respite for play in comparison to most of the other sessions. The region itself felt much the same as this arcade - old and well worn, as in well lived. Venturing south to Nippori led me to stumble upon a shrine and cemetery just by following some stairs. Usuigudani was cleaner but mostly had hotels as points of interest. Back home to buy some mochi while mochi was for sale in midday. Then to Otsuka, thinking that I would wander to Ikebukuro, but I ended up wandering back to Sugamo instead. Whoops. Meal at Sugamo, then back out to return to Shibuya and Shinjuku at night to catch evening shots, when I hadn’t done so before at these places. Good thing I did that to get Golden Gai area shots at night. With the night winding down, I decided to have one last IIDX play at Round 1 in Ikebukuro to symbolically end where I started.
Ending arcade comments
· Although the upkeep is generally better and more consistent than the US, some machines will have hardware issues here too. I was surprised by the blurriness with some of the LM IIDX machines.
· Densha De Go on the propert large cabinet is nice but quickly becomes very expensive.
· Bombergirl is OK enough and having the dedicated detonator button that pops up for hitting the base is a cute touch.
· Chase Chase Jokers feels rather clunky and I'm not sure what the game is trying to do. Interesting side screen concept at least.
· Nostalgia is delightful and would probably find a small fanbase worldwide if it had more exposure.
· Favorite IIDX locations are Taito Station in Oomiya for the light keys and Leisure Land Akihabara for the high quality of the LMs there. Honorable mention goes to the Game Versus loctation in Nishi Nihonbashi, but that might not be worth it for a dedicated trip unless you go there first thing in the morning.
Ending overall comments
This was a life altering trip for me, as would be expected. While I'm glad to have made the journey, as to be expected, I will only want to return after making an extensive redoubled effort into speaking and hearing comprehension, because I know that I came across like a blubbering idiot so many times, and it's truly aggravating because I generally know what I want to say and most of the words that are used to say it, but it just doesn't come out of my mouth properly when it needs to be done.
I welcome any questions you may have, as that will help for me to recall the memories and have me write them down.