Welcome to our fifth discussion of Leviathan Wakes. Hold onto your cool detective hats or your environment suits, because we finally get some answers to our mystery! This week, we will discuss Chapters 34-40. The Marginalia post is here. You can find the Schedule here.
The discussion questions are below. One note - this is a very popular book series and TV show, but please keep in mind that not everyone has read or watched already, so be mindful not to include anything that could be a hint or a spoiler! Please mark spoilers not related to this section of the book using the format > ! Spoiler text here !< (without any spaces between the characters themselves or between the characters and the first and last words).
Now brace yourselves: here comes the juice!
Chapter Summaries:
Chapter 34 - Miller: Detective Miller and the crew of the Roci board the hidden ship (the one that captured the crew of the Scopuli before destroying it), wearing environment suits because the ship has no atmosphere - someone left the doors open. They stick together at first as they move through the ship, discovering signs of a struggle, zombie vomit, and twelve torpedo tubes big enough to destroy capital ships like the Donnager or the Canterbury. Miller uses his detective skills to determine that everyone but Julie retreated to engineering. Once there, they discover a truly grisly sight: layers of human flesh and bones are sort of fused around the reactor, which has been shut down. Naomi and Holden gasp in shock and disgust, Miller turns on his cop brain to suppress emotion and view it as a crime scene, and Amos seems… calm and able to ignore the gore. The team splits up to look for more clues.
Amos stays in engineering to start up the computers and get the reactor back online. Naomi works on the ops deck to run diagnostics. Miller and Holden head to the bridge, which wasn’t affected by the fighting onboard. Miller reviews the internal feeds and finds footage showing the captured Scopuli crew being led onto the ship, stripped, and put in restraints. Julie fights back viciously but is knocked unconscious and stuffed in a locker with a jumpsuit (which is where we met her in the prologue). The crew is left in the galley for 132 hours before they decide to make a stand, but it is quickly suppressed. One of the crew is thrown out an airlock and the others are heavily restrained as they scream and cry. Just as Miller gets to the first appearance of a vomit zombie (at hour 160 of footage), Amos yells that he’s been exposed to some radiation because the human flesh blob had damaged the reactor shielding. He decides to keep working while Alex monitors his health status from the Roci.
Then Holden calls Miller over to view one of the last feeds Julie accessed. It’s a corporate presentation video created for a man named Dresden and the board of Protogen. It features a man Miller dubs “the sociopath” because of his cold, practiced smile…and because of the content. The sociopath tells the board (and us) the history of scientific discovery on Phoebe, which was thought to just be a moon and a source of water, but became a research station when a survey found complex silicon structures in the ice. Protogen was tasked with investigating and discovered that Phoebe is not a moon but evidence of a galactic biosphere: it is an alien weapon sent towards Earth 2 ⅓ billion years ago, which never made it because of orbital mechanics. Protogen has discovered that this weapon is not alive per se; rather, it is something they’ve termed the “protomolecule” which has the ability to maintain structure while replicating other systems and manipulating them at scalable rates. Of course, they alerted the proper authorities and made sure… just kidding, they’ve secretly been doing tests. The sociopath believes that whoever controls the protomolecule will gain control of all political and economic power going forward. Chillingly, the sociopath urges them to pursue large-scale testing to understand the protomolecule and its human applications. That large-scale testing is Eros.
TL;DR - Julie found evidence that Protogen (her dad’s company) has discovered an alien weapon, branded it the “protomolecule”, and secretly tested it on the people of Eros (and probably other smaller tests). The entire war has just been a distraction.
Chapter 35 - Holden: Naomi explains that most of the messages on the comm logs have been coded, but the last one is in plain text: the captain informed Thoth Station that the ship was contaminated, everyone was about to die, and the “materials” had been secured. He also planned to send vector data so they could find the ship. The Roci crew put two and alien-symbol-for-two together: they figure out that the captain has locked protomolecule samples in his safe. They also decide that the tightbeam messages were being sent to a secret research station Protogen was using to monitor the Eros experiment. Even though the fact “Naomi is the best” is a proven concept on par with “space is cold”, she is NOT able to open the captain’s safe, so they decide to cut it out of the wall and bring it with them on the Roci. They also scuttle the ship so no one can a) recover the stealth technology and alien weapons, or b) get exposed to the protomolecule-human soup inside. (Amos would have preferred to hack the frozen dead body goo off the reactor with a chainsaw and salvage such an impressive and expensive ship, which is… another way to go.)
It’s clear that someone else with stealth tech is searching actively for this ship, but the Roci won’t see them coming so they decide to get the hell out of Dodge. Naomi jokes that their options include turning the safe over to the OPA (they’d be heroes), selling out to Mars (they’d be rich), or starting their own biotech firm (just kidding, that’s evil). When Miller checks in with Holden about a decision on where to go next, he drops a figurative bomb on him regarding actual bombs in the news. Since Holden did his best Edward Snowden impersonation and leaked the data that the mystery ships are from Earth, Mars asked a few too many questions and in response, Earth has blown up a whole bunch of Martian ships and destroyed the Deimos deep radar station. Miller ruefully gives Holden credit for sticking to his guns about his belief in “free information”. He also points out that Holden’s principles make him responsible for all those deaths and the destruction of the Earth-Mars Coalition… and possibly the universe as they know it.
Chapter 36 - Miller: The war between Mars and the Belt seems like no big deal now that Earth and Mars are fighting. Miller watches the news feeds as the conflict turns into a blockade, and he realizes he is steeling himself for an announcement of a planetary attack on Earth or Mars, but it never comes. He and Amos deal with the stress by having beer for breakfast.
Miller meets up with Holden in the med bay for their routine blood flushes and cancer treatments, and they reopen their debate about what to do with the data files and who is to blame for the war(s).

• Holden’s position: Broadcast everything to everyone! (I know, I know, so out of character, right?) People will understand that they’ve been set up and will turn their wrath on Protogen instead of each other. Also, these are ancient conflicts. The Belt has always hated Mars and the inner planets in general. Mars and Earth have always had animosities secretly brewing and they do military training for the inevitable showdown. Or as Miller puts it, “Not my powder keg; I just brought the match.”
• Miller’s position: Stop and consider what people will do if they hear an Earth company did this. Every other data leak has been used as an excuse to shoot at someone the other side doesn’t like. Also, people suck. They aren’t going to hold hands and sing Kumbaya just because Protogen is the bad guy. They’ll move on to shooting each other so they can be the ones to control the protomolecule. Or as Holden puts it, “Maybe Protogen is a little right. People are too dumb to be trusted with big information so we should keep hard, scary stuff a big secret. That’ll totally work out.”

Holden’s idealism starts to fade as he takes in Miller’s hard truths about humanity. To be fair, Miller loses a little idealism over his perceptions of the inner planets’ relationship which, to the Belt, seemed stable and friendly enough (and united against them). Miller encourages Holden to use Naomi’s judgment as a measuring stick for whether something is right (similar to how he uses illusion-Julie as his conscience and sounding board) and then he goes back to the news feeds to watch Ceres slowly collapse into chaos. Holden decides the only person and place he trusts - or at least doesn’t completely distrust - is Fred Johnson on Tycho Station, so they head there. Holden also wonders why they don’t just destroy the safe and make sure everyone stays away from Eros and Phoebe; Miller admits it’s because the protomolecule might just be the holy grail.
Chapter 37 - Holden: The crew of the Roci is taking a break from doom scrolling to cook fake space lasagna for dinner and bond over the food and conversation. As Holden watches the crew laugh at Amos’s belches and Miller’s wild story about cheese smuggling, he reflects that they represent all three prongs of the conflict: Naomi and Miller are Belters, Amos and he are from Earth, and Alex is from Mars. Yet they’re friends, and Holden knows this is what they have to fight for. The cheese smuggling makes no sense to Amos (why cheese and not drugs?), and Naomi points out that this illustrates how little people from the inner planets understand Belters. Earthers have free air and easy access to resources, while Belters know everything that sustains life is rare and their access to it is fragile. And this is why Protogen didn’t blink an eye before killing 1.5 million Belters on Eros: they’re “other”. Then Alex points out that this doesn’t make sense; it's a risky and unnecessarily complicated way to kill people just to satisfy prejudices. It becomes clear that Eros isn’t a hate crime, it’s a vacuum-sealed test tube to let the protomolecule learn how to do its job better by giving it access to a huge amount of biomass. The early transformations looked incomplete, as if it didn’t know how to work with human flesh yet, so Protogen was giving it a chance to train. Holden wants to know where they would even find enough people who would support an evil operation like this, and Miller promises to ask Dresden (the Protogen board member mentioned in the video) when they meet him. Something tells me that conversation won’t go well.
As the Roci approaches Tycho station, Holden and Miller take in the view of the Nauvoo, the partially constructed Mormon generation ship. When Miller says the Mormans may be in for a long and lonely death if they don’t find a habitable planet, Holden notes that this is the good kind of galactic exploration humans can accomplish (the protomolecule being the bad kind). Miller then asks Holden why he trusts Fred, and Holden explains that in addition to being the only person who hasn’t tried to jail them or blow them up since all this began, Fred is “real OPA”: he’s a politician and not part of the war-mongering factions who think they can survive indefinitely without the inner planets. When Miller points out that there isn’t a political solution to Protogen, Holden insists Fred has other skills, too. Later, Fred reads through all the information on the protomolecule and is incredulous that anyone could think to do this. Miller assures him that genocide is an old-school crime and it’s important that they stop it. Holden offers up the location of the observation station in exchange for enough OPA fighters to take down Protogen, and the right to retain custody of the safe and its contents. Fred agrees only after Holden points out that no one else can be trusted to do the right thing with a secret this big. Plus, he says Fred already knows what Holden will do with it.
Chapter 38 - Miller: It feels strange to Miller to explore the wide open spaces of Tycho Station, the fanciest place he has ever set foot on. He notices Naomi working on her hand terminal and letting her food get cold; she is too preoccupied with trying to figure out the location of the station to enjoy the amenities. As they talk, Miller is reminded of Havelock’s advice to just let go when he got pulled off a case, which jogs his memory that Havelock actually works for Protogen! (I’m surprised he didn’t get there faster; maybe everyone had a point that he was sort of a washed up detective.) He rushes off to make contact with his old buddy - probably his last real partner ever - in an encrypted drop site of a Ganymede server cluster. As he waits for a response, Miller is amused to realize he has started thinking like Holden: he feels like someone should warn the Mormans that they could potentially run into the alien creators of the protomolecule who may want to kill them. Havelock comes through, passing along the coordinates to a “very scary deep research and development lab” and asking Miller to be discreet never contact him again so he doesn’t get killed for betraying his employer. Miller sends him an encrypted warning to quit his job ASAP and not take postings at any black ops sites, before saying goodbye for the last time to the only person that still respected him as a cop. (I may or may not be sniffling a bit at this.)
Miller rounds up Naomi and Holden so they can bring Fred the coordinates. In Fred’s office, Miller starts lecturing him about the serious nature of the mission and the need to have a solid plan with adequate firepower, not the usual OPA shenanigans. Everyone’s a little confused until they realize that Miller doesn’t know that Fred is “the butcher of Anderson Station” and a former Colonel in the Earth Navy. Fred assures Miller he’s no amateur and will plan ahead. Miller then insists that he get to come along for the assault on Thoth Station. Eight days later, the plan is set in motion and Miller begins packing his meager belongings into a very small bag, figuring he’ll never see the Roci again. Even if he makes it off Thoth alive, he’ll have to figure out a way to make money and improvise a life plan of some sort. He tries to thank Holden and say goodbye, but the Roci’s captain interrupts Miller to ask where they’ll all meet up after the mission is complete. Miller is confused at first, then overcome with emotion when he realizes Holden considers Miller part of the crew! I’m not crying, you’re crying. Actually, it’s Miller who is weeping. But he pulls himself together so he can head to the assault ship.
Chapter 39 - Holden: The Rocinante needs to sneak up on Thoth Station, so they are pretending to be a loose cargo container that broke off the Guy Molinari (the Belter ship carrying the assault team, which is pretending to be a cargo ship). They fly with everything shut down so that it’s more convincing, hoping they can get close enough to the station to do some damage before Thoth starts firing back. As they approach and are able to reboot everything needed for battle, a stealth ship is spied hanging out near Thoth Station. Then, suddenly it becomes clear that there are two small stealth ships, which will be much harder to fight off. Everyone does their jobs efficiently on the Roci, but in the ensuing battle with the stealth ships, they start to take some damage. First, the Roci is hit by a gauss cannon that goes straight through the machine shop and galley. Holden mourns his coffee maker. Amos notices a leak in the maneuvering thrusters and heads to fix it between the inner and outer hulls, which isn’t an ideal place to be floating around during a battle. This stresses Naomi out, but Holden orders everyone to stay focused. They are able to take out one of the stealth ships, but the other gets close enough to do some impressive damage to the Roci. There is major hull damage as well as loss of four maneuvering thrusters, a PDC, their O2 storage, and the crew airlock. Alex is about to destroy the second stealth ship when the Roci’s point defense cannons (PDCs) detonate an enemy warhead up close. It knocks everyone out, punches holes throughout the Roci (narrowly missing Naomi), dislodges equipment, and fills the ship with debris. Holden marvels that they are alive at all, and Alex points out that is only because the ship’s anti-spalling webbing eliminates shrapnel. They make contact with Fred, who says he’ll find them a place to land, and the Guy Molinari prepares for the assault on Thoth Station. It’s Miller’s turn to shine!
Chapter 40 - Miller: On the Guy Molinari, Miller is talking to a Belter kid named Diogo as they wait for the assault to start. Miller realizes that while he has fancy Martian armor from the Roci and experience with gunfights in station corridors, he is surrounded by inexperienced young Belters with borrowed gear, and he will likely have to watch dozens of them die during the battle. But Diogo isn’t worried; he is confident and eager to get started. Fred announces that they are ready to start boarding since the Roci gave them the “all clear”, and Miller is happy to hear his friends have survived. The assault on the station starts off rough, with Protogen soldiers fighting them in the corridors and automatic defense lasers taking out some of the Belters in the first wave. But Fred knows how to command his OPA “troops” and keep them in line, and things start to go more smoothly as they slow down and maneuver carefully. Miller and Diogo are part of a group taking shelter at Fred’s direction and fending off Protogen counterattacks, and they start to talk during a lull. When two Protogen soldiers sneak up on them from behind, Diogo is hit and Miller chastises himself for chatting during a battle and not staying alert. He thinks Diogo is dead, but he pops up laughing and streaked with white goo from crowd suppression rounds, which Miller finds an odd choice of weapon. It’s the first sign that Thoth Station may not totally understand what’s happening. The OPA soldiers cut their way through the blast doors to get to the operations center, where they find Dresden (the dude mentioned in the sociopath’s Protogen video). Fred arrives to take command of the station, and Dresden offers to negotiate, clearly misunderstanding the reason for the assault. He offers to give the OPA whatever resources they need to go back to fighting their war (money, medical supplies, weapons, ordnance) if they’ll just leave and let the station get back to their very important work. Fred points out that they know about Eros, but Dresden insists no one knows what they did there, and there won’t be a better bargaining position for Fred when Earth sends its battleships. Fred basically calls Dresden Satan, but Dresden doesn’t understand the reference.

The landscape of education and professional development is changing dramatically in the fast-paced , technologically-driven world of today, Even if traditional school courses are still important, alternative credentialing programs that provide flexibility and focused skill development, are becoming more and more prevalent. Micro-credentials, and digital badges are two of these developments that are starting to change how people and employers view education and career advancement. They are becoming effective instruments for lifelong learning and skill development.
What are Micro-Credentials?
Micro-credentials are certifications that attest to a person's competence in particular knowledge domains or skill sets. They are sometimes shown as digital badges. Micro-credentials, which concentrate on specific competences relevant to industry demands, can be obtained very rapidly in contrast to standard degrees or certificates, which demand years of study.
The Growth of Micro-Credentials:
Industry Demand for Particular capabilities: As industries change, there is a greater need for current, specialized capabilities. Professionals can learn and exhibit these skills without having to enroll in lengthy training programs thanks to micro-credentials.
Flexibility and Accessibility: Coursera, edX, and LinkedIn Learning are just a few of the online platforms that provide micro-credential programs. These platforms also offer flexible learning alternatives. Working professionals can now more easily participate in continuous learning without having to take time away from their employment because to this accessibility.
Recognition and Credibility: A lot of micro-credentials are supported by respectable organizations or business titans, giving the abilities they certify legitimacy. Companies such as Google, IBM, and Microsoft, for instance, provide widely recognized micro-credentials in their respective professions.
Supporting Continuous Professional Development
Bridging the Skill Gap: They assist in bridging the abilities that employees possess and the skills that companies require. This is especially crucial in industries that are evolving quickly, such as technology, healthcare, and finance.
Career Advancement: Micro-credentials offer professionals who want to grow in their jobs a means to show their dedication to their area and acquire new competencies. Promotions, pay raises, or changes to new positions may result from this.
Personalized Learning Paths: Students can customize their education to meet their career and personal objectives by selecting from a variety of micro-credentials. This adjustment makes it possible to approach skill development in a more focused manner.
Stackable Credentials: A lot of micro-credentials allow you to build up to a larger certification or degree over time by stacking them. Learning is made more flexible to meet the needs of each student thanks to this modular approach
Impact on Traditional Education Systems

1. Integration into Formal Education
   
2. Shift in Employer Perception
   
3. Encouragement of Lifelong Learning
   
4. Educational Innovation
   

Challenges and Considerations

1. Standardization and Recognition
   
2. Quality Assurance
   
3. Access and Equity
   

Digital badges and micro-credentials mark a dramatic change in the way that professional development and education are delivered. Offering adaptable, focused, and reliable routes to skill development, they encourage lifelong learning and assist professionals in remaining competitive in a labor market that is constantly evolving. Employers and traditional education institutions must both change to accept these new credentialing models as the trend grows, making sure they are fairly and successfully included into the larger educational environment. The emergence of micro-credentials represents a paradigm shift in how we approach education and job advancement in the twenty-first century, not merely a passing fad (trend).
https://www.reddit.com/usetalentserve/

Education #SkillAcquisition #Future #EdTech #DigitalBadges #MicroCredentials

Hi hi! Long time stalker of this sub, figured I’d post for advice. Current sophomore at a small LAC in the northeast. Originally wanted to transfer before of isolated location + being a visual minority in vv white state + bad friendship situations freshman year. A year ago I would have KILLED to have the results I have now, and I might sound insane but now I’m considerably more conflicted.
After submitting my apps this year I convinced myself I wouldn’t get in and just directed all my focus to my current institution. I formed really great relationships with some professors who are really willing to go to bat for me, got research fellowships/scholarships that I would have to give up if I transferred, and overall just am in really good space for when I apply to grad school and eventually academia (dream)
I worry that by transferring as a junior, even if it would be to these insane schools, would mean giving up all the research opportunities I have now and forming new relationships with profs and just having to grind to get to where I am now before I apply to grad school. I talked with some profs who know about my transfer situation and academic goal and they all more or less agreed that transferring wouldn’t necessarily put be in a better place than staying (i.e might even be worse off trying to fight for ivy profs attentions who are focused on grad students and the hundreds of other students they’d be tending to)
On the other hand, a lot of the same issues still persist, college is still isolating though I’ve begun to meet new people and form new friendships. And I won’t lie the prestige aspect is super tantalizing. I was a A2C grindset senior that didn’t get the results I wanted to back then (still at a good institution, just was hoping for the results I have now). I am conflicted to the point where it’s hard to be happy about the decisions I’ve gotten. I have no idea what to do.
Stats: highschool gpa 3.95 UW 4.4 W, college gpa: 3.91, SAT: 1550, extracurriculars: research, conferences, clubs, internships on local campaigns (highschool), political organizing
Applied as polisci/history major
Accepted (4/6): Barnard, Tufts, Penn, Columbia Still waiting (2/6): Georgetown and NYU
tldr; got into schools I had no idea I would get into. Freshman year me would have immediately transferred but after some good things happening at my current institution I’m a lot more conflicted.

Hello
I am M(37) and married for 8 years after 2 year of courting so 10 year of relation. We have a kid 4 year old.
I don't know if I'm gay but I have identified myself to be bisexual from atleast age of 17 or so. My first intro to sex was abuse in boarding school by a senior for couple of months. But then I guess I started enjoying it and post collage started seeking pleasure in men's company. I am a side if that matters.
I have been struggling with my identity as I did had fare relationship incl sexual with female ( 3 girlfriends ) before I finally married 3rd.
I never had courage to come out to her but she had guessed long back through my social footprints here and there and one fine day we spilled our sexual journey to each other. I didn't had courage to tell her 100% truth and that's where I started failing I guess. I still have that urge of finding a men's companionship specially that hug. I have never looked at them for a concrete relationship other than FWB. BUT Inspite of knowing that I am damaging her and my kid with this I kept doing it with no concrete frequency but anywhere like 3-4 times a year with mostly close knit circle of friends.
To current date, I cheated again with one of my friend and she got to know. We had a deep discussion of all these years how this has broken us and our relationship.
I don't expect her to forgive me for this as I don't know if I can forgive myself. But I need help. I don't want to loose her and my family but I know I have damaged it so much that it will never be same.
I am seeking counselling in Bangalore ( india ) if anyone knows and in general I have removed all contact with my other side of bisexuality with a hope that I can fight my ugly side and focus on people who have helped me be what I am now.
I know it's not easy path but any suggestion will go a great deal in trying to apply some sort of happy bandaid if possible before I loose all that we built.
She has not dumped me as of now but for sure she is disconnected herself from me a big deal. We are living in same house, this does give me hope to build it all again and make amend for what I broke for my own pleasure and fantasies.
**TL;DR;** : Bisexual married for 8 years and broke all her trust, now it's a one way journey to win her back
Seeking here whatever help possible

I've been making a short list of a rival re-write, it's mainly for me lol, but I'm considering making it a game or series of videos whenever I'm old enough to afford that or learn those skills. The list shows their name, their canon elimination, and lines to introduce them (reminiscent of the rival introduction YandereDev made)!
Here's the list so far:
Rival 1: Amai Odayaka
Canon Elimination: Poisoning (may be changed later, as I plan the canon eliminations to slowly go from safer to violent)
Rival Introduction (normal): Oh, Taro, you're just in time! I made cookies. Your favorite is chocolate chip, right?
Rival Introduction (blushing): You know, it's not a coincidence that I've been making your favorite food ever day...you deserve it, you know?
Rival 2: Sincere Ramirez (the only rival so far who isn't an in-game character)
Canon Elimination: Befriend
Rival introduction (normal): I'm so excited to be at this school! It's the best thing to happen to me!
Rival introduction (blushing): Taro, I knew you were nice online, but you're even cooler in person...we should hang out more.
Rival 3: Kokona Haruka
Canon Elimination: Drive to murder
Rival introduction (normal): Oh, Taro, it's nice to see you! Do you want to join Saki and I for lunch?
Rival introduction (blushing): Do you want to try out for the play with me? I think we'd get along swell together...
Rival 4: Midori Gurin
Canon Elimination: Stabbed (may change later)
Rival Introduction (normal): Oh yeah, I just got a high score in my game! I wonder if you can get a score higher than me, Taro, heh.
Rival Introduction (blushing): Hey, Taro? I know I always ask stupid questions, but have you always been that cute?
I don't know rivals 5 through 9
Rival 10: Osana Najimi
Canon Elimination: Befriend and betray
Rival Introduction (normal): Ugh, Taro, hurry up! I've been waiting forever!
Rival Introduction (blushing): Shut up, Sincere! I do not have a crush on him! He's just, um...let's change the subject, okay?

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So me and my 5 friends (all 14/15) were on a small school residential trip to Paris and one of the days we went to disneyland.
We were in the queue for the Hollywood tower and its around 8ish. For context the ride is enclosed, 10 people in a room kind of thing. A man by himself jumps the queue by going under the railings and ends up infront of us. We immediately get bad vibes and notice how much he was staring at us and hung around near us.
We end up at part where you enter a room with lots of people and learn about the plot of the ride. He is standing at the back of the room and my friends and I stand near the front trying to keep away from him. The room goes dark and the TV turns on playing a video. By the end of it, the lights turn on again and he is wayyy closer to us than before.
At this point we were all nervous but we had been queuing for over an hour and didnt want to have wasted our time so carried on through to the inside queue. We hang back in the room before leaving so were not near him but he also hangs back in the room so he is near us in the queue again. We talk it through between ourselves and decide to go up the fast pass queue stairs to get away because we think "surely he wont follow us up here".
A few minutes go by and we think were in the clear but then behind my friends shoulder i see him walking up the stairs. My heart drops and I point him out and we all literally run through the queue to an employee and he lets us out the queue through a back door. We are all relieved and think we're fine. Walt Disney Studios closes and we leave, heading back into disneyland and to tell our teachers. I am constantly checking over my shoulder and then i see him behind us. i grab my friends and say "he's behind us, he's found us." We double back around and we lose him and we immediately go to where the teachers were hanging about.
After that a teacher stayed with us the rest of the night and thankfully didnt see him again. It was just a weird place to be followed considering you would assume its a safe place for kids.

Super budget in mind like below 200$ for my whole pc build in spending. Got the graphics card for a good price and everything else needed for a pc for free. Don't want to spend a lot of money, just want to have a decent gaming experience, no high expectations.
Here's the buyers description. Priced at 100$
Asus Z170-P motherboard with Core i7 7700K CPU, Cryorig H7 air cooler and 16GB of Giel Potenza RAM at 2133MHz. 4 core 8 threads at 4.2 GHz, will clock to 4.8GHz comfortably. Was my daily driver for the last 7 years, replaced by a 7700X. I also have a Sapphire Nitro Fury air cooled Radeon GPU. The card has been depricated by AMD and only Legacy drivers, are available through them, but community supported up to date drivers are available. This rig will support wireless PCVR gaming using the Quest 2 on low settings (probably Q3 as well, haven't tested) which blows away standalone VR headsets for graphical quality. Just need an ATX mid tower case with fans and a power supply (600-750 w recommended)

Hi guys! I promised myself that I would make a post if I passed. There are so many wonderful posts on this subreddit and my study methods were honestly horrible, but I hope that I can provide some hope for people with similar scores or laziness.
Background: Average student, very slow reader, pretty good memory sometimes, awful memory at other times, finished my rotations, finished EBM, 5 day dedicated.
Scores:
UWorld: 6x%, I’m sorry I forgot 😣, 22% completed.
NBME 29 (3/23, 3 weeks out) – 68
NBME 30 (3/31, 2 weeks out) - 67
New Free 120 (2024) (4/9, 3 days out) – 73
Step 1 (4/12) - Pass
Helpful Resource Summary:
**NBMES** Try to do all of them, I’m pretty certain I saw almost exact repeats. I’ve heard that there are offline ones but I only did 2 , and bought the online ones for both. If you have limited time, do 29-31, free 120 (2021), and free 120 (2024).
nbme high yield images (you’ll find it immediately after googling)
The 100 anatomy concepts pdf (I read about 20-30 pages, should have read the rest too). A quick google will bring this up as well!
UWorld: I personally think that going through it system wise for about half the questions in each system and then a couple of timed randoms would be more than enough. However, you can read the mess of what I actually did below.
Pathoma 1-3 (I only read 1-3 but all of it probably would have helped too!)
Dirty medicine (I used it for biochem!)
FA: A great reference book but don’t read it cover to cover! Use it as a reference. The rapid review section is pretty good as well.
Timeline (Story Time):
I started preparing for Step 1 by getting a 6-month UWorld subscription that was partially paid for by my school. In retrospect, I should have gotten the 3-month subscription or something because I activated it then didn’t use it at all for like 4 months.
I did about exactly 2% of UWorld in 4 months.. haha.
About 2 months out I started changing from doing random blocks to system blocks. I think this worked better for me because similar concepts were reinforced and studying felt less overwhelming. I am a very slow reader because I read the full answer obsessively even for questions I got right. I tried to fix this later on by reading only the educational objective for the ones I got right, and reading only the highlights in the main explanation and trying to skim the incorrect options. I then skip the educational objective because it is covered in the answer I just pretty much read entirely.
1 month out I had only finished all of psychiatry (I have weird priorities), half of cardiology and a little bit of renal. I took 1 block of the UWSA2 and got a 47% 😨. I almost fainted and immediately closed the rest of the exam and came to reddit to read about UWSA 2. I read about someone who got a 50% on UWSA2 and passed, and the general consensus that UWSA is not predictive anymore.
*Tip: Get the UWorld without self-assessments and spend money on online nbmes instead. UWSAs are not very similar to the exam and should only be done if you’ve done everything else or have no access to other self-assessments.
After hopping on reddit, I regained some confidence, and tried to do about 2 UWorld blocks per day by system. What I actually managed was about 1 to 1.5 blocks per day. I worked through mostly renal and gastrointestinal systems, which were systems that I was weak in according to previous random blocks and the 1 block of UWSA 2 that I did.
3 weeks out:
I did my first NBME and scored a 68%. I was relieved! I think the score difference was mostly due to uwsa2 being too hard. I tried to do more UWorld blocks but ultimately gave up on UWorld because I was taking a lot of time with reviewing nbme questions and content review. I used FA and dirty medicine (for biochemistry) to do content review on topics related to questions I encountered on the nbmes and random stuff that I felt like I should know.
2 weeks out: I took NBME 30 (67%) and my scored dropped from 29 which was discouraging but still a pretty good score. I kept reviewing all my nbme questions, reading literally the WHOLE explanation and reviewing topics from FA. Around this time, I started panicking, realizing that I‘m probably not going to get to do nbme 31 and I badly wanted to reschedule. However, rescheduling at this time would be really expensive (mostly this reason) and also mess up my schedule for other things.
5 days out:
I started my dedicated, which started with continuing to review nbme 30 and reviewing topics. I also read about 20-30 pages of the 100 anatomy concepts pdf.
3 days out:
I took the free120 (73%). I reviewed answers from the free120 along with FA and dirty med videos. I did not have time to do free120 2021 so I studied the answers. (I managed to finish about 30%?, I really regret this, at least go over all the answers for both free 120s and nbmes 29-31).
1 day out:
I studied intensely on my last day. I read pathoma 1-3 and watched a few of the videos (for the first time). I also read about half of FA rapid review in a panic. I then tried to read nbme highyield images but only finished about 30%. However, I went to sleep at about midnight and had a decent night’s sleep, which I think is important.
Test day:
Plan when you’ll take your breaks ahead of time. Read the tutorial and understand it completely when you do the free120 then skip it on the real day.
I had a small breakfast and did not pack any snacks only water for the real thing because I’m usually not hungry during tests.
I did 3 blocks one after the other to get a lot done while you still have energy then I took a bathroom break. I did another block then had lunch. During lunch, I looked through some more nbme high yield images and a bunch of questions that appeared on previous blocks. After lunch I did 2 blocks together -> bathroom -> last block.
I felt like I was guessing a lot. I tried to mark my guesses but it became too discouraging so I didn’t mark them anymore.
**Tips: Take a bathroom break, even if you don’t think you need it. You are smarter when your bladder is empty. Time was a problem for me even though it wasn’t during practice tests. I’m pretty sure this is because I stressed over unimportant information from anxiety. I finished some blocks with 30 seconds left and had to rapidly answer some of the last questions. Thank god I didn’t have to do any blind guesses. In later blocks, I told myself to be focused but remember that you don’t have a lot of time. Especially for audio questions, don’t let yourself sit there listening to it for 5 minutes.
After the exam I didn’t feel particularly good or bad. I felt like I passed deep down despite the abysmal amount of guesses.
Waiting for results:
I was part of the group that had to wait for a month. Scrolling on reddit had me convinced I failed because of all the passing scores with a fail posts that were showing up then. Thankfully, I was distracted by school for the last 2 weeks. I repeat what others have said, DON’T scroll reddit while you are waiting for results.
Results:
I passed!😍
I received my results and was so relieved that the awful wait was finally over! To be honest, some time over the past 2 weeks I had convinced myself that I would probably pass again so I was relieved but not really overjoyed, haha.
Unpopular Opinion:
The wait was really stressful especially because I realized a 196 is closer to a 65%? I see posts that are most likely real from people scoring about 60-63% who failed by an extremely small margin. Even after my pass, I encourage you to wait until you are scoring over at least 65% before you take your exam if you are not extremely pressed for time. However, if you really don’t have any options, know that it is definitely possible to pass with a score in the low 60s and to go for it! I hope you all pass and can continue enjoying your life as soon as possible! ✨✨ Feel free to ask me anything. :)

A little back story, my sister is like a second mom to me. She always took care of me when I was younger, we had a little gap in our relationship once I reached my teenage years until I turned 22 I believe. She also helped me out a lot as an adult when I was doing bad, and helped with the kids, which I am very grateful for. I am doing 100% better financially and life wise thankfully and we grew very close. She comes over to my house daily and we chat. I love her very much. She is or was? My best friend.
On Friday, our mom had a gastric balloon inserted and the plan was that my sister will drive her to the hospital, and then she will drop mom off to stay with me and I will look after her for a week.
Unfortunately, or irresponsibly I kept postponing my oil change and drove 400 miles over and my plan was to get that done and a few other tasks on Friday before it was time to get kids from school and watch mom. Plans changed and my sister made an appointment on Friday at 10 AM and I had to go to the hospital and switch out with her. My mom and I left the hospital around 11:30 AM. I called my sister, asked her if she will be able to come keep mom’s company at 3, so I can get kids, change oil, and go get my bonus child “A” from an hour away. She told me no she cannot leave work, and I said ok. She asked me “why?” I answered and told her my to do list. She told me everything can be postponed till Saturday, and my husband can borrow her car and pick up “A” alone. I said “aww ok” she asked why do you wanna go anyways? I told her I enjoy it. She told me ok well u got a more important task which is take care of mom. I agreed and we hung up.
My mom overheard me mention my oil change. She said she was okay because of the strong meds and to go get it done because its bad for the car. I asked her are you sure? About three times before I turned away from the house and went to get it changed. Now, I know what I did was wrong. I should’ve just kept it to myself and drove us home. I was a bit stressed because of the over 400 miles and indeed could’ve waited till Saturday. I was selfish and very wrong for it and was unaware mom was being a mom.
My sister called me yelling and said angrily: “Where are you?! Ima come get mom! Screw my important work I’ll call in so u can go enjoy doing things” Me: “Take 5.” and she proceeded to yell at me extremely loudly bc I’m at Take 5 and about how selfish and unreliable I am. I asked her why is she talking to me like this? She said because I don’t want to watch our mom. I’m selfish, etc. I said to her that was not what happened and that I agreed to watch her and I have no issues. She accused me of gaslighting and that I am only watching her because she “blocked” all the excuses I had to not watch her by lending my husband her car for the long drive, and suggesting it can wait until Saturday. I said “that’s not what happened. You asked me why I was asking you to watch our mom.” (I thought I was talkin to a friend and told her whats on my mind..) Her “This is the first time I see a toxic trait from you!!” and kept interrupting me (the whole time yelling) “I’M NOT UR EFFIN HUSBAND I’M NOT GONNA GO IN CIRCLES WITH YOU. I’M ON MY WAY TO GET HER.” I said “ok I’ll see u” and we said bye then before hanging up she said in a disgusted tone “Gaslighting bich” I sent her the address and texted her that she was very mean.. She called me immediately yelling “You wanna fight?! I’ll fkin fight” and said many mean things yelling… I said “No. I’m not trying to” she kept going off and I repeated many Okay’s as I couldn’t let a sentence out.
The oil change was done, and I had to leave the area, so I called her to let her know. “Hey where are you? I just got done and left take 5” She started screaming at me even more “Are we playing games?!! I’m already effin here!“ Me: “I had to leave to the main road, Take 5 exit force-“ Her: “ ENOUGH WITH THE EXCUSES! COME BACK IMMEDIATELY! YOU SHOULD’VE CHECKED WITH ME BEFORE LEAVING.” Me: thats what I was doing… but no worries I am making a U-Turn, I literally just left.” She said many things and I just kept saying “ok” she called me disrespectful for saying many okays and hung up.
I immediately started crying because I felt so bad about myself. The whole time I was talking in a respectful tone and I felt so misunderstood.. she was not listening to me. Maybe I’m sensitive..I understand what I did was selfish, but I believe in effective communication and not attacking ppl.
Mother’s day comes up, she texts me abt a present at the door. She bought me a balloon and a teddy with flowers with a really sweet note. Mind you, I did not talk to her for almost two days. I was giving her space bc when I tried telling her she was mean to me she went off on me even more. I texted her thank u and cant wait for the day where we celebrate it together. (She wants to be a mom soon)
Monday, mom comes over and my sister calls her and finds out she is at my house. My sister called me and asked “why are you not talking to me?” I said because of Friday. The yelling and calling me gaslighter, toxic, b*ch really hurt my feelings. She yelled at me some more and said “after everything I’ve done for you, YOU cutting ME off?!! YOU?!” And listed a few major things she done for me and that she has a car seat in her car right now for whenever I needed help. Her: “WHO DOES THAT FOR SOMEONE? NOBODY!” Me: “I know you’re a great sister , bu-“ Her:“YOU UPSET WITH ME? WHAT U DID WAS WORSE! AWFUL AND SELFISH”
I couldn’t get a sentence out. She was crying, I was crying. I said please let me talk.. she said go ahead and right as I was starting my sentence she told me she wants nothing to do with me, or my kids. To not show up at her wedding or house or else cops will be called. Then blocked me.
I found out she forgot to block me on an app so I messaged her there but then she blocked me there too without reading any.
Yesterday, Friday, I was driving mom to DPS to get her D.L & sis called mom and asked her to put her on speaker. She indirectly was talking to me “Hey mom I think “M” is tryna come up with excuses to not show up, and using the cops as an excuse. She obviously has lots of grudges deep inside towards me bc no way all these feelings came out of nowhere. She is hateful inside.”
She said I have a victim mentality, and need serious mental help and that I knew she was all talk and sisters fight.
I responded: “I’m not used to being yelled at, disowned and blocked casually. Never happened before. Of course I took it seriously.”
Her: “Obviously I will not call the cops on u if u show up. There ya go. I did what I should do & invited u and ur welcomed but it makes no difference to me whether u show up or not bc now I know where I stand. What my “value” is to you. Obviously ur looking for a reason to not talk to me or show up to my wedding. Just know ur welcomed but idc if u come or not.”
I love her very much but my feelings were hurt badly.. She said I am unappreciative and “you know whats going on with me! I have many issues, the wedding, work/school, and just got my period!” then compared herself to my husband who yelled at me last week that “I kiss his a** and excuse him, but me, u dont excuse me and stopped talking to me for two days?”
Me: “that is not true bc my spouse and I didnt talk till he apolog-“
Her: u know that BS
Me: I always excuse yo-
Anywho she said “we will never go back to being close again.” and as a sister I am welcomed to the wedding. I said to her that I am too old to be yelled and screamed at like this, we’re not kids anymore. She said “Shame on u to say that. That’s exactly what a child would say. If you’re so mature you would’ve came and talked to me like an adult and let me know that you’re upset with me.”
Me: “that’s literally what I did and got screamed at and insulted, I gave you spa-”
Her: stop I’m not acknowledging what ur saying and ur not acknowledging what I’m saying so its best to not talk until you can comprehend what I’m saying. For tonight, lay in bed and put yourself in my shoes. Picture everything I’ve done for you and how you’re treating me.”
Me *sobbing: “BUT I ONLY DIDNT TALK TO YOU FOR TWOO DAYYYYSSS I WAS GIVING YOU SPACEEE YOU WERE YELLING ATT MEE. I SAID A COMMENT TO YOU AND YOU DIDNT TALK TO ME FOR TWO WEEKS AND I APOLOGIZED ALMOST EVERY SINGLE DA-“
Her: Yes and then I came over even cried and apologized for cutting you off for two weeks.”
Me: finishing my sentence I EXPRESSED TO YOU HOW YOU HURT MY FEELINGS U BLOCKED ME AND DISOWNED ME.”
Her: “Yes. and I apologize for calling u a gaslighting bi*ch.”
Me: U DIDNT.
Her “I am now! I just said I APOLOGIZE. And look at you I am talking to you all normal and look at you all yelling at me and I’m still cool and calm.”
Me: “ I WASNT YELLIN I AM SOBBING MY VOICE IS CRACKED IM CRYING AND MOM HAS YOU ON SPEAKER AND I AM DRIVING ON A HIGHWAY”
Her: “no u were yelling. Even ask “S” I have u on speaker she hears u right now. You have a victim mentality, bro. Seriously. If this is how u see it then u just got a victim mentality. I’m genuine ur sick u need that checked out thats very serious.” (S is my other sister, here for the wedding)
Me: “Idk maybe I do. All I know is this is how I feel. I’m very hurt.”
Her: “What broke me the most is that I got you a mother’s day present like an idiot and lost a part of my pride unknowingly while ur there upset. What? Ur waiting for me to come kiss ur a**?”
DetailsI said an insulting comment a few months ago. She spotted and I told her its abnormal and that preggos usually spot. I know she’s a virgin, and have no doubts. That’s why I said it is abnormal. She thought I was hinting she was pregnant, yelled at me and said “YOU THINK EVERYONE IS A WHRE LIKE YOU?!” and she didnt talk to me for two weeks. I cried and apologized to her many times at the time, but she was too angry. Which is why I thought in this current situation space would be a good idea because she seemed very angry at me, but I guess I was wrong.
I am losing my mind. I feel so wronged but she says I’m wrong?! She said I do not value or appreciate her bc I didnt let her know I was upset and that I purposely didn’t talk to her for two days? But when I said “it goes both ways! U do not value me u rather disown me and block me over-“
Her: “theres a big difference between u and me. I did a lot for u. We’re not the same.” Her: “go trauma bond with your husband over what I did and disrespect me together. Isn’t trauma bond the reason y’all together? You’re welcome”
WHAAAAT?!! HOW CAN I DISRESPECT MY SIS OR ALLOW MY HUSBAND TO DISRESPECT HER?!!
She was very angry that she bought me a mothers day present and said if she had known I was upset she wouldn’t have gotten me a teddy. I said “u didn’t know bc I’m the one that got yelled at..” she shut me up basically and said I am sick in the head and love to be a victim.. I’m so frustrated.
What should I do? I am very hurt but also don’t want to make it a bigger deal by not showing up. I felt like dirt.. I’m not a punching bag.. she doesnt yell at me often. Just this week.. Last week she yelled at me for parking her car wrong and I apologized then texted her and apologized some more bc she was furious and then she said its ok that she was just hungry… How is it my fault she’s hungry?
Do I show up to the wedding? Do I let our relationship die and just be casual sisters? Do I apologize to her for overreacting?
P.s. all the dashes are her cutting me off.
I wish it allowed me to upload screenshots of what I texted her

I'll definitely need a laptop for uni, and i can't decide between the two options in the title. My total budget is 3,000 USD, maybe willing to stretch it by about 200-300 USD. The two options are:

1. Getting a 13 inch M3 MacBook Air with 16GB RAM, 256 GB SSD storage for 1,200 USD, and the rest 1,800 USD for the PC, with the configuration given below. I'm planning to use my MBA during classes, and the PC for homework, my own personal projects, and gaming. I'm only worried about having my work on 2 different computers, and the potential hassle of having a PC in the university dorms. I know version control exists, it's just that i think I'd prefer that all my work was at one place, and I wouldn't have to constantly switch between devices, and not run into any potential problems with not having some documents or files when I need it.
2. Getting a 14 inch M3 MacBook Pro with 36 GB RAM, 512 GB / 1 TB SSD storage for about 2400 USD, and the rest 600 USD for the steam deck. The powerful MBP would keep my work all at one place and I'd be able to perform all my demanding workflows on it, and the steam deck would be perfect for portable gaming. I already have a monitor and peripherals, so I could run the MBP on a dual screen setup at home/dorm if I needed to for that extra productivity. However, I'm not so sure about spending a fortune on a device that's not upgradable and have to deal with it becoming outdated hardware - and that's why I'd prefer a PC, which is much more powerful for a fraction of the price, with the scope of upgradability and that I'd be able to keep the PC for much longer.

Any sort of help/advice would be appreciated.
Specs:
PCPartPicker Part List

Type	Item	Price
CPU	AMD Ryzen 7 7800X3D 4.2 GHz 8-Core Processor	$278.50 @ Amazon
CPU Cooler	Deepcool AK620 68.99 CFM CPU Cooler	$54.99 @ Newegg
Motherboard	Gigabyte B650 GAMING X AX V2 ATX AM5 Motherboard	$168.65 @ Amazon
Memory	G.Skill Flare X5 32 GB (2 x 16 GB) DDR5-6000 CL32 Memory	$98.18 @ Amazon
Storage	Crucial P3 Plus 2 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 4.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive	$117.99 @ Amazon
Video Card	PowerColor Hellhound Radeon RX 7900 XTX 24 GB Video Card	$899.99
Case	NZXT H6 Flow ATX Mid Tower Case	$101.99 @ Amazon
Power Supply	Deepcool PQ1000M 1000 W 80+ Gold Certified Fully Modular ATX Power Supply	$129.99 @ Newegg
Prices include shipping, taxes, rebates, and discounts
Total	$1850.28
Generated by PCPartPicker 2024-05-18 08:00 EDT-0400

So, a few months back, I posted the outline to my King in Yellow inspired Strixhaven campaign. Eight months and 20ish sessions later, we are finishing our First Year and SO much has happened. I am really happy with how things have fallen into place, and surprised even by how poetic some accidental events were. So, in these 22 sessions since I last updated, my players started to make friends with different groups of students, and really feel like they belonged here in Strixhaven. They have developed their own plans for their school years, and what they want to study. Meanwhile, bad things were happening. After investigating the mimic attack at the Biblioplex, they found out that the librarian who was on duty that day had disappeared. They searched for her, and searched for the origin of the Eldritch balm. They discovered that everything was being shipped from the Radiant Citadel (my campaign takes place there) into central Campus, specifically into a place known as the Tower of the Circle of Eight (Mordekainen and friends). There they found the lost librarian, being possessed by a mindflayer brain parasite. They tried to save her but ended up having a boss fight with a mind flayer. After that, things cooled down for a bit, and they pursued their own plot lines for a bit: my tiefling sorcerer got kidnapped by religious freaks hell-bent on using his magic blood to purify the world and they had to rescue him. They went on a two session trip to the Feywild, were they witnessed the War of the Seasons and found out what had happened to the other grimalkin (the race of my cat-like warlock). They robbed the Afterlife casino (from the Keys to the Golden Vault) trying to get the logbooks of the criminal organization that transported the Eldritch balm. Then, they discovered a strange door in the Sedgemoor, locked with an arcane contraption, which (they don't know it yet) holds the laboratory of the secret villain of the arc: Mavinda Sharpbeak. The last two sessions were really intense as well, because it started with them following some clues from their backgrounds (to keep it short: one of their mentors had assisted Strixhaven and gave them a list of people they could visit and talk to, and one of them had been murdered. So they investigated the murder) and ended up right up in the midst of the Cult of the Eldritch Eye (the Vecna adventure that just came out) having to fight the cultists and save one of their own from being taken as a thrall. Today we have our next session, which will be all about the End of the Year fair and the School Play (which, of course, will be a small reprised version of the King in Yellow play) while they have to heist the key to that door from Captain Dapple wing's manor AND give an end of the year presentation. All in all, really fun stuff.

It's been 5 months since I first got the allurion inserted this will be the final review that I write and I'll be happy to answer all the questions.
I think sometime (4 months in)last month I passed the allurion balloon and I honestly did not feel it and didn't even know it happened.
I unfortunately did NOT lose weight through the balloon. It was an absolute struggle and I'll never do it again. Although it isn't painful physically, the cramps are annoying AF and never went away for me. Not to mention the amount of money I paid. There is a hidden cost of medication that the doctor did not mention until I after I paid which was shady imo.
I was hungry all the time, and would eat like a donkey, I infact put on more weight with the balloon in me. It did not limit the amount of food I ate one bit, except for the first month. Although after finish food I felt super bloated every time which sucked. Also the acid reflux for me was a bit*h. It was happening all the freaking time.
I'm thankful back to the gym and healthy eating now and it's so much better. I used to be incredibly fit and went through depressive episode after my breakup which got be practically fat.
I truly thought this will be a quick way to lose some weight and feel better about myself. But unfortunately there is no alternative to just a healthy eating habit and exercising.
Obviously different people might have different experiences that goes without saying, but I ain't recommending such treatments one bit.

I dont know what to do
Throwaway here due to personal reasons. I passed my 12th CBSE in 2023 with 54.6% marks in Delhi Public School in India. I had severe health issues which resulted in me almost failing 12th. However i barely managed to pass. My original plan was to pursue BTech in CS at Malaysia but that required me to have 60%. I explored other options and found out about Germany. Required 50% and wasnt that expensive, however that required me to have 10+3 and also needed to learn Deutsch. I joined a small college to get my first year done which would substitute for my 10+3 and i also took a course for Deutsch. I have been trying to apply for the language exam for the past seven months however its really hard because their forms get filled instantly. I still havent been able to apply for said exam. I have wasted so much time with this which is partially the reason for me not reappearing for 12th exams (rest is because of my stupidity). I tried exploring Malaysian colleges but they say BTech requires atleast 55%. Im lacking behind .4%. I tried to explore indian colleges but a lot of them require JEE mains and i am not eligible for those either. CUET dates have passed too otherwise i could have tried to get a good college for BSc or something. I feel like i have taken the worst possible decisions which have led to my current situation. I do know that i can get BSc in CS in some colleges, however my research concluded that doing said degree from colleges with such a low requirement is not good for jobs in the future. I really wanted to do BTech for its title but at this point i feel like i dont even deserve that. I am willing to work really hard to get what i want but i dont know how. I was a great student but my grades kept falling and when i tried to improve it, i failed to because of my health. I cannot blame my health because that seems like me not taking the blame. I blame myself for all of this. I dont know what to do. I might as well just kill myself at this point, but that would be the "easy way" out. I want to work hard and i want to prove myself but i feel like i have no chance.

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