People can call it the honeymoon phase and laugh at me. I don’t care because I know the truth. When I met you all those moons ago, you were everything I had begged and hoped and prayed for. And it wasn’t over the top, we just clicked and you understood my needs and met them so perfectly. Of course, we had our fights and disagreements, but we solved them in a way I’d never seen before. You were my everything and I sacrificed so much to keep it going. And then when that thing happened in January ‘23, it’s like the person I had grown to love was replaced with a distant, not-quite-there ghost. Even after that night when he left you drunk and alone on the streets of that big city, you continued to get closer to him and he changed you. And I pleaded with you to stop. The sweet and gentle person I had fallen for turned into someone I didn’t recognize. A drunk and (probably) a druggie, although you hid the latter the best you could until your friends started slipping up around me. You couldn’t even go see a movie without having to “pregame.” A FUCKING movie. Your attitude changed from doing what’s best for us to doing whatever you wanted and saying that I just had to take you as you are. The sad thing is that I did. Despite all the glaring and mountainous issues with us I stayed. I loved you so unconditionally as you broke my trust again and again and again. I spent another year chasing who you were for those first 6 months. And then you left me even as you said you didn’t know what was wrong with you because you knew that I loved you more than anything and that I would’ve done ANYTHING on the planet for you. And now when I look back and cry, I don’t cry for who you became. I cry for the person I met back in ‘22 and how, for such a short time, we seemed to have it all. Those 6 months were the happiest of my life, and I’ll just wander aimlessly through life until I can capture lightning in a bottle like that again. And this time pray it doesn’t leave.

Recommended watch: XG vs Falcons game 1, G2.iG vs Liquid game 1
Note: No meta section because there were too few games. I included the portraits for G2.iG vs Spirit but I wasn't able to watch the series.

Lower Bracket Quarterfinals

Spirit vs Boom

https://preview.redd.it/hvg5ywry8b1d1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=bc480066d32d8f7ca8b14c2d90441ab0f9e33a4c
Both sides were neck and neck in terms of networth in the early to mid game despite Boom boasting a better kill count. The game turned in Spirit's favor in the 27th minute when the fight for the second Rosh saw Boom use their big ultimates and only got 1 support kill for it while they had 3 casualties including Naga & Enigma. Spirit would get the Aegis and most of the momentum. All 3 cores on Spirit would become huge while only Naga scaled well for Boom. The introduction of hex on Lina meant quick exterminations. The Pango was a recurring victim of Lina's fiery show. The Enigma was never given a chance to have a game-altering Black Hole. Boom on top of being beaten down by Slardar and Lina had an enormous Chrono problem which they don't have an answer for. Once all 3 cores on Spirit had their BKBs the fight went one way. This was an outmatch. Spirit 1-0 Boom.
https://preview.redd.it/jqxs06i19b1d1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=8f48387a825ae4a290bc5b5d928c9a72666d462b
Boom felt powerless against the onslaught that came their way. Bristleback, Dragon Knight, and Doom kept charging relentlessly. Boom tried to offer some resistance but they got run over. Pakazs' Gyro valiantly participated in the fights but he died in each one. Solar Bind & Corrosive Haze were countered by the upgraded Ink Swell. Yatoro's Bristle was unanswered and he had no problems taking his team to the next round. Spirit 2-0 Boom.

Liquid vs G2.iG

https://preview.redd.it/e7e99iq89b1d1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=961347ff80cf525c743bc78bd9e3f9340c23a394
This was a pretty back-and-forth game but it was Liquid who did most of the initiative. By the 52nd minute, Liquid had brought down 2 lanes of racks and were attempting to get Megas but they got deterred by G2.iG. Liquid still looked like they had the upper hand as their side had the necessary tools to shut down Weaver but all it took was one moment of brilliance in the mid lane where Weaver + Rapier & Disruptor with Aghs caught & killed 3 overzealous players. With no buyback on Monkey King, the Dire were able to demolish Radiant's base and get the dub. This was G2.iG snatching victory from what looked like a game Liquid should have won. G2.iG 1-0 Liquid.
https://preview.redd.it/r1h9pzxa9b1d1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=151e7862956d4536b61615f88c24136ca6c03642
This time around, the roles were reversed. Liquid were playing from behind and G2.iG were the ones on the front foot. Liquid tried the recipe from the previous game of buying a Divine Rapier on their carry (Luna) and it did deter the opponent momentarily but if you keep letting your opponents take multiple swings at you, one haymaker is bound to hit and knock you out. The Radiant were stuck in their base and the Dire had complete control of the map. G2.iG bided their time, waited for Roshan, and only sieged with an Aegis. With Mega Creeps, 3 obese cores, and only Luna being the real threat to their side, G2.iG waited for the Glyph to go down and simply went all in on the throne. There wasn't much Liquid could do except type gg. G2.iG 2-0 Liquid.

Falcons vs Xtreme Gaming, Upper Bracket Finals

https://preview.redd.it/uhku7byg9b1d1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=5e7e1e355ae14734658d37e150a2432428f29657
Things were looking grim for XG. Falcons won every lane. Bristleback was killed 3 times before 10 minutes. Falcons didn't let up. They kept hunting and they kept finding the fights. XG were relegated to responding to what Falcons were doing on the map. But somehow, Ame found his farm and one wrong jump on the Bristleback changed the complexion of the game. A smoke play from FLC at minute 25 ended as a disaster when they jumped Bristleback who was farming in his triangle. FLC were not able to bring anyone down in the chaos. XG took advantage and brought down 4 on the side of FLC. Falcons would learn their lesson and go for Bristle's teammates at the next hunt. FLC would find 3 successive kills on their next smoke play. In a 2v5 scenario, FLC tested the high ground and got a kill on Ame but they overstayed their welcome as the rest of XG respawned before they could take any significant objective. FLC could not exit cleanly and lost 3 lives. XG would then trade out their mid barracks + tier 2 top + their tormentor for an Aegis on Viper. The game became passive and this benefitted XG (Midas on Viper + Bane). Marci eventually got to her BKB and at that point, even Davion didn't want to mess with her. A skirmish in front of Radiant's Tier 3 ended up as a complete annihilation with Marci getting 3 kills. FLC then smoked up, only found Ame, and decided to have a go at him. They couldn't finish him off (déjà vu). Marci once again went for the Enigma to make sure no Black Hole could be used. It was a 4 for nothing and that was it. This is an incredible statement from XG. They lost all their lanes and were getting beat up early on but their resilience and ability to come back was a joy to watch (Having xinQ's Marci helps too). XG 1-0 FLC.
https://preview.redd.it/ozq57czi9b1d1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=fc98df6a449720bc8926e012c4338f777cce3422
I was hoping for a closer game but XG were just too good. Falcons didn't have as good of a start as game 1 and XG were more than happy to slowly take over. The Bane and Earthshaker were such good picks against the opposition. The Black Hole could be stopped from a distance. The Pango had to be careful with his positioning against the Fiend's Grip. The 3 cores on XG had incredible damage which synergized very well with the control of their supports. Ame had a relatively free game. Once he had his Daedalus, taking objectives and the lives of his enemies became a breeze. Falcons weren't given any openings so XG continued their unbeaten streak to 12 games. They have yet to drop a single game in this tournament. XG 2-0 FLC.

G2.iG vs Spirit, Lower Bracket Semifinals

I wasn't able to watch the games but it looks like Spirit gave them a drubbing.
https://preview.redd.it/q9wcn2en9b1d1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=0f43f4a050b07f1f1902c871aa61312cd053bd83
https://preview.redd.it/dmp99sxs9b1d1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=afca27f88a4d81eaa84cbdc790ad3e4ec54b57c5

TL;DR: PC building newb is wanting to build a PC that can handle regular tech job remote tasks, play pc games at a good frame rate (70-80), and overall run nice.
Hey everyone,
After years of not having a desktop, I decided it’s time to build a PC. I’ve never built a PC before, but being a computer science major I think it could be a good experience given that hardware is not the focus of my major; plus I just think it would be cool to say that I built my own PC. And I’ve been wanting to go back to PC for a little while now.
Keep in mind, I am completely new to this stuff, particularly what the best parts to buy are given what I’m looking for. There are multiple micro centers in my home town, but wanted to do the proper research and get a variety of opinions between micro center workers and the PC community. That way I can really make an ideal desktop for what I want.
Also, I’m sorry this is a lot. I’ve been wanting to do this for years and now that I’m committing to it, I really don’t want to mess it up all because I didn’t do the proper research. Heres some context of what I’m looking for

• Budget- Preferebly $1000-1500. But willing to go a little over if it’s really worth doing so for a part (example: one graphics card is $200 but the next one up is $275-300 and will support games for a much longer lifespan than the $200 one. Let’s put the threshold for this at a $100 increase). Absolute maximum is $1750

5-6 (ish..?) year life span-: This could be a ridiculous amount of time, but if it’s possible to do so with the following preferences at the budget I provided, what are the parts that will do so with minimal part replacement?
-Working Remote- I want to be able to sufficiently be able to work from home. Many tech jobs are beginning to follow a hybrid or even fully remote format. In the case that I run into that throughout my career (which seems very likely), I don’t want to run into any non internet connection issues that could raise issues when working remote such as freezing, or slowness due to many apps being open at once (VS code, Remote Desktop, chrome with a good amount of tabs, etc.).
-Windows (which ever version is best in case it isn’t the newest one)- probably a way too obvious thing to include but hear me out. Ive been strictly Apple and have not regularly used a windows device in 8 years. Both great operating systems in their own ways, but one of my main motivations for doing this is that I’ve realized over time that I definitely miss using Windows for many reasons. That being said, I do not know if there is a preferred version of windows 11 versus the latest one, if even the case.
-Gaming- (play just about all games at 60-70fps): Similar to using windows, another motivation I had for doing this is PC gaming. Before I stopped using windows in 2017, I had built a decent sized library on steam and was a pretty avid PC gamer but still played a little console. Switched to only console and, same as windows and mac, both are great for different reasons. But for years I’ve been itching to get back into games like Skyrim, counter strike, and the blizzard library (probably weird choices to say nowadays but remember, I’ve been out of the PC world for 8 years). Along with that, I want to try out all of the great pc games that I’ve come out since that I haven’t had the chance to play and the games that will continue to come out. Overall, I want a build that will be able to play all these titles at a consistent frame rate similar to let’s say Elden Ring on Xbox Series X, with good graphics (but not anything over the top).
-Wi-Fi support- I’m not too sure about this one, but more wanted to ask if this is worth investing into or not if it costs extra.
-Smooth- could be obvious, but I want an overall very smooth user experience. I’ve used a MacBook Pro 2020 edition for a couple years and overall I’ve been happy with the experience. But the one thing that I absolutely hate about it is how much it freezes up on me when I’m in the middle of doing something. Not necessarily very often, but it happens and it’s very annoying. I understand that this is going to become inevitable overtime, but overall I want a reliable and convenient user experience.
Again I’m sorry that this is a lot. If you have any questions please let me know and I’ll get back to you asap

Weekly WTB Thread

Please post all your Want To Buy (WTB) needs here!!
Make a top-level reply to this post with your watch needs! Any top-level comment that isn't a WTB request will be removed without notice.
Here's a WTB request-format suggestion:
Brand:
Model:
Reference:
Acceptable Price:
Acceptable Condition:

Be Diligent Against Scams!!

There is always a new scam! If you receive an automated reply from this subreddit read it thoroughly.
Most scams in watchexchange happen because of WTB requests.
Buyers: Require that someone responding to your WTB comments in this thread. Commenting here proves that they are not banned from this sub. On the other hand, if they can't/won't/offer excuses/any other thing then just they are a banned scammer! You can manually check if they're banned on the Universal Scammer List by searching the USL. (This is a good habit to be in anyway!)

• Do Not Reply to DMs of users that have not commented on your WTB post. This is a safety measure to ensure they are Not BANNED from the subreddit.
• Make the seller prove possession of the watch. If the seller can't produce a photo of the watch with the date and a spoon or potato or today's newspaper or whatever you choose, then you are being scammed.
• An unknown seller requiring Friends & Family (or any other means where you will not have recourse (Zelle, Crypto)) means you are being scammed.
• Do not communicate via Reddit chat or Discord. Chats can be deleted! Sellers communicating via chat or Discord means you are being scammed.
• If you feel like a deal is so good that you need to act fast before someone else gets that deal, you are being scammed.
• If the seller has zero transactions, or no history in watchexchange, or anything is the least bit abnormal, you are being scammed.

You should be skeptical of people responding to your WTB!!!

Do not let a scammer be more diligent than you!

You can see other [WTB] threads here.
The [WTB] tag will be used only by moderators of watchexchange; any WTB needs shall be handled in this thread.

For context, me (23) and my bf(30) who are co-workers have been together for a year and a half. I'm Indian and he's Arab. We love each other very much and though our styles of expression are different we respect each other and try to communicate. We have been each other's safe spaces from the moment we became friends until now.
However, the major challenge I'm facing is that his family does not know anything about me and he still has to hide our relationship with them. They are aware he has a girlfriend but does not know anything else as they will not be happy about him marrying outside his religion and country. On the other hand my parents have already met him and he even texts my mom to wish us on special occasions/holidays.
I'm trying to be understanding of these actions of his. I get that where he is from, dating is a taboo subject. And both of us being from different religions, nationalities and our age gap does not make things easier. When we agreed to start dating we acknowledged our differences and told each other we will take things day by day. But now that we've been together for a year and a half I'm starting to want more. More of his time, more acceptance and less hiding, and promise of a future together. I'm not someone who is very keen on marriage or having kids so all I just want is assurance that we'd both fight together for our future.
A few weeks ago I had asked him if his family found about us and told him to break up what would he do and he said he doesn't know. I was extremely hurt by this answer and tried to initiate a break up by asking if he wants to stop what we have and he said he definitely does not want to. And in an attempt to stop me from feeling as terrible as I did he said he will handle it when the time comes. His words offered a very short lived comfort and I'm back to square one of thinking he will not do anything for us, especially since he has made it clear on multiple occasions that his family comes first no matter what.
To make things even worse he's currently solely financially supporting his family of 9-10 members who all live with him. This has made it difficult for us to hangout out a lot often as we once did (mind you when we started dating this was not the case). And since he's living in a crowded house I have to be careful when I call him as he might have family near him who might find out about us. The fact that we're coworkers doesn't make it easier as it's not like we can be affectionate in the office.
Due to these circumstances I now feel wedged in between wanting more of him but feeling like I am an inconvenience to his life. He assures i am not and asks me to stop overthinking thinggs but that is difficult for me. I understand that these life circumstances are harder on him than me and he is definitely suffering. But it is also my first relationship. I've reached a point where I find myself crying every other week worried about our future because I can't and don't want to let go of him. It's not easy to find people who you connect with and can be your safe space. Even if I do find the courage to break up I don't even want to think about the bout of depression and loneliness that would await.
Please advise me on my situation as I feel completely lost and stuck with these issues in my relationship
TL;DR: as my bf and I from different cultures and nationalities are almost approaching the 2 year mark I want more from him such as not hiding me from his family and his time. But due to cultural differences and his financial situation he's unable to do the same for me. Please advise

I recently stumbled upon Thomas Im's YouTube channel, where he explained how he ended up generating $10k in revenue per month from Upwork in just six months. He mentioned that he had no prior experience and created a social media agency from scratch. I decided to give it a shot.
I submitted 20 proposals, had 3 interviews scheduled, and secured 1 client from the platform. Here's what I learned:

• The most important thing is that you genuinely believe you are helping them by having them hire you. This will create a great mindset for your conversions.
• Quality over quantity. Try to find the right fit for your services and really take your time to answer all their questions properly, people will not hire you if they don't think you care.
• Target low-proposal jobs with longer application processes. Since there are fewer people competing, there are better chances of having people look at your offer.
• Try to understand the challenge your potential customer has and craft a proposal that explains how you would solve that problem for them. By giving free value that aligns with their goals, they have an incentive to take your services.
• Ask them a specific question about the project that would help you complete the job for them. Tell them you would be delighted to help them with it and think that you would be a great fit.
• During the interview, I try to ask simple questions to identify how I can help them :

What do you do? How long? What are you looking for? Why did you reach out to me? Tell them I can help and recap the problems.

• I'm not sure if it's relevant yet, but I've crafted a profile showcasing my experience and accomplishments. I've included a concise summary of my skills and what I can offer. Additionally, I've uploaded my favorite projects to my portfolio, along with my work history.

If anyone has any tips on how to convert more proposals into jobs, please share them below. Let's help each other and grow together.

(REPOSTED) We have been together for almost a year, and so far our relationship has been so healthy and honest. I trust him more than anyone in my life and we always tell each other everything. He was the first relationship l've ever had, so l guess you could say I'm not entirely sure if what he has expressed to me is considered normal or not. I just want to say, he has never been outwardly jealous or possessive, and he has never made me or tried to talk me out of anything I do, but one thing that I haven't really done in quite some time is hang out with friends, or people aside from him and family. He is very protective of me and when we are together he never leaves my side, but I assume that is normal, as I am very attached to him as well.
But recently, l've been talking to new friends online who are nearby, and I have genuine proof that these friends are real and trustworthy. Well, a couple of friends invited me to hang out with them one day during the week, and when my boyfriend came over to visit for a couple minutes before leaving for work, I told him about it, and I was very enthusiastic and telling him what we were going to do. But he seemed to hesitate, and he then asked me a couple questions like "Where did you meet these friends?" "How long have you been talking to them?" And then he asked where l'd be going etc. we have each other's location, so we know if anything were to happen we would know how to find each other. But I don't know, like he didn't seem as happy as I thought he would be, because I have friends that I will get t spend time with. But after a moment he said that hu feels nervous about me going up to see them and how suspicious it sounded. But he didn't say it in a cruel way, he sounded gentle and genuinely worried. I hugged him and promised him I wouldn't put myself in a situation I didn't trust. But he was still saying that he just wanted me to be safe. Now, I genuinely don't think he would feel jealous about me hanging out with friends, he just simply sounded worried about my safety, but is this normal? Is it okay that people in a relationship can feel anxious about the other going somewhere to hang out with other people? I was genuinely curious about this but in the end I did tell him I would text him throughout to let him know that I was alright.
Other than that, he's never forced me out of stuff, even if maybe he didn't like it. But he is really good with communicating how he feels. He always says he doesn't like me being around strangers, and I am always tempted to say: "You were a stranger I decided to meet up with." But that sounded a bit mean, and I understand feeling worried about that kind of thing.
I don’t want him to escalate this if that makes any sense? Like if I were to just cancel these plans because he would worry too much, I wouldn’t want this to be a repeated occurrence. I want to have friends and other people to have fun with outside of family and my relationship, but I am just worried that doing so would worry my boyfriend too much.

Third person POV:
It was a calm day in the Menumen empire. Lya was sitting on her throne and tending to the issues of her empire. Her seers had warned her of a possible slave rebellion that might take place in about a century. She obviously couldn't let something like that happen.
Lya turned her attention to her minister of human resources.
"Hear my decree, from this day onwards all slves shall-„
A guard burst into the room and fell to his knees in front of her.
"Yes?“
Lya inquired.
"Your majesty! There is a destroyer rampaging through the south eastern regions!“
"I see...I shall attend to this myself. Execute this guard, he has conducted himself improperly.“
Despite her words, a wide smile fell on the guards face.
"Thank you, your majesty! It is an honor!“
Lya rose from her throne and walked past the man, unimpressed by his devotion, paying him no further mind.
Meanwhile, in another part of the castle:
No sound was heard, as Delorem's many tentacles ripped apart the floor of the lower guards barrack's bathroom, the silence spell working as intended.
With a wave of their hand, Delorem dispelled the magic and rose from the hole, with Whisper following right behind him.
Mars POV:
I was in my cell.
“It’s been… how long has it been? I don’t remember…”
Im severely bruised and injured. My tail is limp, jagged, bent in multiple places, and dragging across the floor. There seems to be no magic coming out from me, around my neck is some sort of collar. I’m heavily bruised, malnourished, and frail looking. I look half dead.
Thirteen seconds…
7 seconds
5
4
3
2-
Before I could finish, the sounds of a guard walking past the cell could be heard, his loud but bored sounds of his patrol echoing out.
I whisper to myself
"I have 49 seconds.“
I attempt to crank up my perception, but halts just when it gets to the end of the hall. All this torture was starting to affect me. I gather the ambient fire mana into my fingertips, and make a small burning blade aura out of it. I begin cutting the bars…
30 seconds…
I make it through the first bar, two more to go.
25 seconds left…
I manage to saw through the other bars, and gathering whatever remains of the ambient mana, I cast a small illusion, covering up the bars and making it look like im sitting inside. I limp away, down the hall.
Damn stupid maze. 15 seconds…
”when I was first brought here, I attempted to remember the paths with my sense, but the pain made it quite hard to remember much of anything. Now I can’t see very far…”
I found a corner I know the guard won’t check. I’m out of breath. My body feeling weak and heavy.
Not… yet… I'm… almost… there…
I walk down the path I choose in the dungeon. Making turns wherever I saw fit. I didn’t seem to have a destination in mind. I was going in blind
I… … need… … to… … hold… … ou-
finally, at a four way intersection, I collapse to the ground of exhaustion. Alone. I’m far away from where the guards frequent.
I’ve fallen completely unconscious.
Third Person POV:
Thud
Yet another guard fell to the ground, his heart pierced by one of Delorem’s blade tipped tentacles.
Thud
The guard at the other end of the archway the two guards had been stationed at fell as well, his throat pierced by his own shadow at Whisper’s command.
Delorem waved their hand, dispelling yet another silence spell. They turned to Whisper.
„There are more guards stationed in this area then there used to be…I guess it makes sense she would have changed things at least once after 3000 years…"
"That is some very old intel Delorem. I am surprised the whole structure has not changed since then. I sense one around the corner and several above and below us.“
Whisper replied.
„My mother has a tendency to stagnate. She hasn’t even changed her- Do you feel that?“
"I feel many presences. Which one are you referring to?“
„Below us, the unconscious one. I think that’s Mars!“
"I will cover you if you want to head on in for retrieval.“
„Thank you. Take care of any guards that show up.“
For a moment, Delorem’s eyes were lit up by a dense array of golden runes, as silence fell over the area once more.
Delorem’s tentacles shot forwards, dairying into the ground as if it was made from styrofoam, throwing away pieces of debris as Delorem dug through the ground..
Then, a stone was flung too far, landing beyond the silence spell’s influence, the sound of its impact loudly echoing throughout the previously quiet halls of the castle.
„Shit.“
Delorem soundlessly mouthed.
"A patrol is coming to inspect. I will intercept.“
Whisper telepathically informed Delorem as she rushed off. Delorem simply replied with a feeling of approval as they continued to tear through the floor.
Soon screams rang out from the other side of the hall. None of the guards stood a chance.
Finally Delorem broke through the floor, allowing themself to fall into the newly made hole, Whisper following them seconds later.
Delorem landed on the floor, just a few meters in front of the unconscious Mars.
„That’s him! He must have made it out of his cell somehow.“
Whisper reached out telepathically: "Guards are down. What is happening on your end?“
„I found him. Let’s get out of this cursed place.“
Delorem rose from the floor and floated back up through the hole.
„Alright, we should have some time until-„
Suddenly, the sound of hundreds of trumpets could be heard, a fanfare to announce the arrival of someone of high status. The empress had returned.
„RUN!“
…
A few minutes later, Lyadria Menumen stood at the hole in the floor of her castle, the man who had brought her the news of her captives escape lying on the ground next to her, his head completely liquified.
Yet, on Lya’s face, there was not a hint of anger, only a sadistic smile.
/uw big thanks to everyone who took part!

I find myself getting worked up and angry because of what I see online… And people’s views on not only bariatric surgery, but anything related to weight loss intervention (Ozempic and such).
I think we all want to feel valid, so I understand not listening to what other people think, but what I do see still bothers me. I’m down 70 pounds now since the start of March and every aspect of my life has gotten better. I walk/run 3 miles everyday. I haven’t cheated and have stuck to the instruction of my bariatric team to the letter. I look fantastic and quite frankly… I’m proud of myself. No being humble about it.
However, Instagram and TikTok’s algorithm have been feeding me more health related content lately, and when I look in the comment section for inspiration or stories or anything related… especially on Instagram… it’s overwhelmingly negative. Why is being overweight a demon that people seem to have little to no sympathy for… when other addictions get a pass, we’re treated like trash? There’s legitimate people out there who think we should bully and shame people into being fit. There’s a mindset that if you don’t do it like some influencer who followed some fad trend diet like 75 hard… or if you’re not this Goggins guy… or if you aren’t some super athlete… then you aren’t valid?
People are just… nasty. If you did anything to take control of your life that isn’t ultra traditional, then according to people online in certain spaces, you’re a cheater, fraud, undisciplined, and a quitter. I want to be as proud of myself as I can be, but it’s just depressing to me to see those things. It makes me question everything I’ve been through my entire life when it came to my weight. Other people’s opinions shouldn’t matter to me, but how can I be open about my surgery if this is how people act as soon as they’re veiled by online anonymity? How can I trust anyone isn’t talking behind my back about how I’m a fraud… with how many people act like that online?
It’s just upsetting to me. I don’t know. How do you tone those overwhelmingly negative voices out? For now… I deleted TikTok and Instagram. I don’t need to see that stuff anymore.
TL;DR - People are toxic online when it comes to sleeve or any other weight loss intervention, and that negativity is getting to me. It’s evoking a massive feeling of imposter syndrome.

I just started writing romance out of nowhere to procrastinate studying for my science and geo test but then I feel like I'm not doing it right (they are going down tragedy lane so hard it would take time travel or reincarnation to fix it but let's not talk about that). Please tell me if you can kinda feel the emotions (omg thats so cringe) in the texts 'cos I can't feel anything when I'm reading it. And if there's any punctuation, spelling and/or grammar mistakes feel free to point that out too, as well as any feedback or analysis.
They are going to be two short stories but I'm not finished yet so here's some snippets. Have fun reading!

The Blindfolded Guillotine

Meeting you was a mistake. It tore your life into shreds and chained your fate to mine. But at the same time, meeting you was the best thing that has ever happened to me.
And meeting me was the worst thing that has ever happened to you.
I want to be selfish. I want to walk blindfolded down my mess of a road with you by my side. I want to fall to hell wrapped in your solid embrace. Because as long as you are here, even hell won't feel cold.
I want to destroy us both. So that even when I'm a pile of ashes on the ground, swept by the wind, I won't feel lonely.
But I love you, and while love is a drug for others, for someone like me, once is enough. So if I ever get a chance to do it again, I won't repeat the same mistakes. I won't take the wrong turn in the forest. I won't wake up that morning to see the sunrise. I won't get swept away by the crowd. And I won't meet you on that bridge. In your second life, you won't ever know a girl named Evelyn Jones, who loved you so much she would let herself burn alone for the sake of you living a happy life without her.
If I ever get a chance to do it again, in your second life, you won't ever learn of pain.
That night, two caged birds fell asleep holding each other's hands through the bars, making promises that shouldn't be kept, while dreading the sunrise they once scaled over walls to see.

Golden Words (snip no.1)

He turned away and brisk-walked down the corridor, just a few speeds from running, a pink flush seven shades shy from the colour of his lips peeking out his tussled collar. This man was beautiful beyond my wildest dreams, and anyone with the slightest bit of intelligence could tell he hated me from the bottom of his heart.
A stupid grin spread across my face as I chased after him, calling his name like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Too bad I'm an idiot.

Golden Words (snip no.2) [ending]

XX years later, we stood under the same tree, wearing the same white clothes, holding the same polished blades, except everything was dripping with a nauseating shade of red.
And just like so many years ago, I had so many things to say, but this time, only three words came out.
"Was it fun?"
No reply came. XX years, and nothing had changed. A grotesque sound bursted out of my throat, three-quarters laughter and one-quarter scorn. I choked on the bubbles of blood running down my chin. Amidst this crimson mess, I squeezed out the most pathetic last words.
"Please, be happy."
If you have to treasure your words like gold, I'll just give all my words to you.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Wide-Area-6779
His mistress made him a better husband. I feel nauseous.
Ongoing
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
Thanks to u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: emotional infidelity, physical assault, verbal abuse, manipulation
Original Post Nov 22, 2023
This is a throwaway. I’m just nauseous and want to vent please let me do it here?
Everything changed about 3 years ago and my husband became my dream man. Before that, we suffered a lot in our marriage. After 2 hard pregnancies and PPD my libido was diminished and we fought all the time. After 4 years of dead bedroom we started therapy. I thought that was where the improvement came from.
My husband started paying attention to me. In the beginning I was panicking because whenever he paid me attention before he expected sex but now it felt like he was seeing me as a human being for the first time. He was attentive and caring. Emphatic. He touched and cuddled and kissed me out of the blue, without wanting sex in return. He started helping around the house, bringing me flowers, take out dinners when I work late, planning date nights. Anniversaries, birthdays and holidays are planned perfectly and I started getting the most beautiful and thoughtful gifts. When we fought, he would come the next day and admitted his wrongs and very accurately (if he was the one in the wrong) something he never did before. He would apologize too when back in the days him apologizing would be a blow to his ego. He said he was happy all the time and lucky to have us as his family. Everything was better and I even got my libido back if not as high as I hoped.
I found their conversation about 5 days ago and I have probably spent over 50 hours reading them. 3 years worth of conversation. He would tell her his woes and she would listen. 99 out of 100 times she sided with me. She taught him about intimacy and how important it is in marriages. The tragically funny part is that he never got angry or offended by her telling him off. Calling him silly, stubborn or at times man baby. Her honesty was brutal and yet he agreed with her. She was the one suggesting all the changes and he would ask her for advice about gifts, traveling and all the beautiful things he did for our family.
He thanks her all the time for helping him turn his miserable home life around, making it tolerable. With all these texts there were the texts between them that are about them like nobody else existed around them. The flirting, sextalk and pictures. The longing to see each other.
He says she is the love of his life every day and that he wishes their circumstances were different. She says the same. They both agree that divorce would ruin their families and that they couldn’t be that selfish. how admirable!
I feel nauseous. My happiness for the past three years was fake. I don’t know what to do. I want to hurt them. I want to expose them and I want to ruin whatever they think is perfect happiness
Hi!
I’m getting chat requests about my comments not being visible. Is this normal? I’m trying to answer you guys. Sorry
Hi again
Since I can’t comment and I can’t answer all the chats I will answer here
I am 35. My husband is 39 we have two children 9&7
She is 40 and she has one child 14. She is in a dead bedroom with her husband too and for 14 years.
The affair is physical too yes but they meet maybe once every month or every other month. She tells my husband that what they feel is probably limerence but that they don’t know it yet because they meet so little. She lives in another city
Update - My husband left me after I told his mistress’s husband about their affair. March 19, 2024
I was here some weeks ago, with my original post. I finally decided that I really should reach out to the husband of my husband’s mistress. I found him easily and I contacted him. He didn’t believe me at first and was rude about it and told me to go f myself. I hesitated to contact him again to be honest but after a few days I realized that I would too not believe a stranger just popping in my dms accusing my SO of cheating so I recorded my husband’s phone with my phone. Especially the messages where she’s sent explicit photos and stuff. I also went to the contact to show the number. He didn’t answer me the first day then he called me the c-word and blocked me. I thought well then, I have done my part and it’s on him if he believed me or not. Then after a week my husband came home angry and he yelled at me for exposing them. He asked me why I didn’t confront him instead, my problem was with him. I have never seen him yell like this then he packed a bag and left for about a week. I think he’s traveled to her.
When he got home he said that it was over. He said that he has been trying to make me happy for years and he’s done everything a good husband would do but still, nothing was good enough for me. I’ve made him miserable for years and instead of taking it out on him, I chose to hurt a woman and her child. He moved to his parents house and now he’s renting an apartment I have heard that he travels the weeks he doesn’t have the children to be with her and that she’s moving here soon when she gets full custody of her child.
I have not been feeling well at all. He has never spoken to me directly since he left and I haven’t seen him. He adamantly refuses to talk to me. Like I never existed in his life. I don’t know what I have done to deserve this treatment. I hate that they won.
RELEVANT COMMENTS

So basically your cheating ex is trying to blame you for him cheating. The delusion of cheaters.
You only informed the mistress's husband that she couldn't keep her legs closed to a cold breeze.
He had a right to know. Onwards and upwards.
UpdateMe

OOP

He didn’t blame me for anything. He doesn’t care that he cheated. He was only angry that her husband hurt her and her child.
Maybe my post was this convoluted that everyone here is thinking he is trying to put the blame in me? He doesn’t care at all. He just thought that I should have confronted him instead because he was the one who cheated on me.
I told everyone around us what he done and he doesn’t even care

~
List-and-dumbfound

The last 3 years of your marriage were a lie. You know that now. Who he is the person he treated you before his affair partner had to convince him to be good to you. He is not a good person.
Do they even really know each other? Like how it is to be around each other on a daily basis. They are genuinely dumb to think the list will stay with 3 kids around plus handling chores and day to day things of life. They have 2 custody battles ahead of them and divorced on top of it.
If he’s angry with you the next time you have to see him, ask him why? He got what he wanted. He wanted to be with her and now he is. So why is he angry that you gave him what you wanted.
It’s probably shame that he’s painted to be a cheater. Not he can’t manipulate the narrative and paint you as the bad person.
If what they won is each other? Let them have each other. They are both awful people so they deserve each other

OOP

He is not angry about the divorce. He is angry I told the husband instead of him because the husband hurt her and her kid

DrNefariousMcFarious

He’s not angry bc of that, he always assumed that if you found out he could gaslight you into thinking that it was somehow your fault or not happening, but by you telling the other husband, there was no getting around it.

OOP

No he is angry about me putting his AP in danger.. he gives zero fucks about staying in our marriage or not. He only was with me to help raise the children and probably wait for her to get rid of her husband. I am not trying to he dramatic here but the soon I realize the truth the better is is for me to move on I think

I want full custody of my children after he went and beat up his mistress’s husband within an inch of his life and ended up in jail. Mar 22, 2024
This morning I got a call from my mother in law that my husband has been in jail for the past couple of days and only got out this morning but the charges weren’t dropped. Apparently his mistress and her husband had another altercation last weekend and she ended up hurt again.
Now I want full custody of my children. He is out but charges are not dropped so it will probably lead to some punishment. I don’t know if family court would count this in case I want full custody and supervised visits. My mother in law was hostile when I told her this and she’s one of the people who have supported me so I am expecting some push back. I don’t care.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
inquiryreport

You probably should not have let your MIL in on this idea. Her first reaction is going to be that it will threaten her ability to see the grand kids and her son’s ability to be a father. Even if you think she is on your team have to assume she isn’t.

OOP

Yeah it was a big mistake

NEW UPDATE

He celebrated Mother’s Day with his mistress and her son May 12, 2024
Thank you so much for staying in touch and I am so sorry that I cannot answer your dms. I haven’t been active on Reddit and I have received tens of dms every day since my posts. I have been trying to adjust to life as a single mother. It is hard and especially the weeks I don’t have my children. Unfortunately, I could not convince court to give me sole custody even with my husband’s pending legal issues due to him not having any priors. He however succeeded to limit my family’s access citing parental alienation. I am not allowed my children around my family without supervision (MIL). All of this actions are temporary however until we get a court date. He is refusing to meet or talk to me for any reason besides texting about the children.
He is not in jail (for those who are asking) he has no priors so he is out. He will probably not be getting any jail time either but rather parole. Anyway, his mistress has secretly recorded some of the abuse she was getting from her husband and she has sole custody of their child now. She has moved to our city and she and her child are living with my MIL. Yes, MIL and from what I have gathered, she lives with my husband on the days I have the children.
Today I was out with my children and my friend and her children to have mother’s day brunch. I was the happiest I been for months because I got a bouquet of flowers and chocolate that is signed from my children (worlds best mom) and I knew that it was from my husband. Anyway when we arrived to the restaurant, there he was with his mistress and her child. They were celebrating mother’s day too. Her son was sitting between them and she had gift papers and flowers all around her on the table. I froze and wanted to leave but he came and apologized and said that he didn’t mean for this. She was crying and hugging her son. I wanted to faint because my children were so excited to see him and wanted to go inside and eat brunch with their dad. He told our children that it was mommy’s day then he asked me if I wanted her to leave so the children can have lunch with both of us. I just left with the children and took them to McDonald’s instead. He sent me a long text saying how sorry he was and how he wished that he loved me as much as I deserved and that he wished me to find love soon. He doesn’t regret our marriage and hope I don’t either because we got our beautiful children out of it that we need to raise and to not punish them because of what he did. Please let us not let our resentment of each other to spill out on our children. Let us promise to keep them happy and loved. Let us not use them as pawns. I asked him what I lacked that she has. A question that have been living rent free inside my head He said to stop this. This is futile. I insisted and I called him and he answered for the first time in months. I told him I wanted to know. No matter how harsh the truth was I can’t live without knowing. He said Mothing. I lacked nothing and she is not better in any way. He just loves her and loves himself when he is with her. He feels real and genuine happiness with her that he never felt in his entire life. I hang up and he texted I am sorry. This is the truth you asked for. You are not less than. You lack nothing. Please let us give our children the good life they deserve. Don’t hurt them to hurt me
I don’t know what I have done in my previous life to deserve this. The way he was with her. He never looked at me that way not even when we first met. I don’t know how to stop thinking about them. It is in my brain all day. I want full custody of my children and I will fight for it as much as I can. She will never be their step mother. Her custody is not finalized either and hopefully she will have to move back to her city so her husband can have visitation rights and she is out of my life. If my husband wants to move to be with her. My children stay with me.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OOP told to be careful around the husband, and asked what his mother thinks

Well I am not stupid and he can record me all he wants because I was very calm and I genuinely agree that the children come first. Even her child tbh. But I know that she only had emergency custody of hers because of the assault but I know the rules here and she will probably need to move back soon because her husband has right to meet his son. In that case my husband can move away but he can’t have custody because I want a stable home for them. I don’t know why I am getting hate in my dms calling me vindictive.
I am very grateful to you and others who are mentioning that she is coaching him to say things. Of course! How stupid was I not to figure this out. From not talking to me for a second to being all nice and begging me to forgive him and to keep it amicable? Of course it is her. Even mother’s day flowers was probably from her.
MIL is very devastated about what happened and she visits me every day even when the children aren’t home. She said that she had to take her in until she gets her own place. No she is not allowed to meet the children and it is already decided and MIL is making sure this is not the case. I understand that MIL chooses her son but she hasn’t given up on me.
I have talked a lot with mom about what happened and no she doesn’t feel guilty. She said that it was different (of course it is🙄) hers was real love and dad’s ex was very abusive. I don’t know, I don’t believe in karma or anything but she said that she at least understands now how dad’s ex felt. I feel anger because some people win and some lose and I still love him very much. I regret exposing what happened. At least I could have had 4 more years together. And the children would have been a bit older. I regret so much things that I have done in a moment of grief and anger

OOP When told to be careful what she puts in text messages and once again be weary of the mistress

Thanks. I have been very careful about texting because as I am keeping all the evidence, I am counting on him doing that too. About his mistress, it is less “evil” than that because I was wrong about her recording the abuse. She stole the surveillance her husband had installed around their house to spy on her. MIL told me this today. She is probably hoping for full custody but I know the rules here and he will have right to see his son no matter so the c-word will have to move back sooner or later.
Only them I will be asking for full custody if my husband moves with her to her city because I don’t want a part time father to my children who shows up whenever he pleases. I want stability. He is either a father or not

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

First / Previous
​
Suzanne thought it was absolutely brilliant of me to put books on a flash drive for Sun. She explained that Sun wasn’t as sophant (her word, not mine) as she might seem, more of a repository of information, but she was fairly intelligent. It was how she was able to connect Andrew being in pain to the fact that I was friends with Andrew, and that I would want to know that he was in trouble. Apparently some of Sun’s species had given some ‘wisdom’ to others in the past and it had made its way into mythology.
The key fact was that she was not smart enough to protect herself and her kind from the clever, organized poachers. With that information in mind, it was fascinating for me to think of how Sun took in and organized what she learned. It was almost as if she was a walking, talking library.
On the topic of tours, my first one went wonderfully, and I’m almost hoping Suzanne lets me do more of them. I know not all the tourists are going to be as awesome as these people were, but Suzanne gave me a lot of slack when it comes to dealing with them. She actually said that being a smartass is not grounds for dismissal, and that if I’m sarcastic or facetious to guests who are being ‘daft’ and they complain, she really doesn’t care. Is this the perfect job for me or what?
There were four guests in this party, two adults who were sisters and two children of one of the women, brothers aged thirteen and seventeen. The tour was a birthday gift for the older of the boys from his aunt, since apparently he was passionate about animal protection and conservation.
When they arrived at the front gate, I was sitting at Andrew’s desk, going over the booklet of information one last time. When the visitors pressed the button that sounded the alert buzzer, I tucked away in a drawer and let them in. I did have a cheat sheet with information about the animals on my phone just in case, a brief notation of each of them and which enclosure they were in, but I really didn’t need to use it.
Exiting through the front door, I saw them walk up the path toward me. “Hi, I’m Ripley,” I said, holding out a hand toward the woman closest to me.
She shook it firmly. “I’m Denise. This is my sister Carla and my nephews, Wesley and Jason,” she said, motioning to each of them in turn.
“I heard it’s your birthday,” I said to Wesley, giving him a smile. “You’re interested in animal conversation?”
“Back where we live, yeah,” he said, nodding. “The animals that you’ve got here are incredible. I can’t wait to see them.”
“Well, I can’t wait to show them to you,” I said. “Right this way.”
I led them on the path around the building, toward enclosure one. Despite the horrific memories of the animal killing Stanley’s friends, I knew it was just an animal, and I had to push past my feelings on what had happened. Keeping a small smile on my face, I motioned to the enclosure. “Fiercely territorial and amazing hunters, despite their large size, they’re arboreal and known to dart from tree to tree with barely a sound. This is one of only about two thousand left in existence.”
“Two thousand, three hundred and fifty six at last count,” spoke Wesley, his eyes on the trees.
I blinked, surprised and impressed. “Well that was fantastic. Do you plan on stealing my job when you graduate?”
Wesley looked at me with a grin. “Nah, everyone knows Suzanne only offers humans this gig. And I want to help animals like this one get off the endangered species list. The zoos are great for awareness and fundraising, but then the money has to go somewhere. I want to be doing the real work.”
“That’s really great,” I told him. “I wish you all the best in that career path.” At that, we saw the animal climb down from the tree, wandering a few yards from the tree line. This was because 90% of the time, when humans were at their enclosure and making noise, whether it was speaking to each other or calling out to the animal, it was someone bringing them prey to eat. Or, in my case, enrichment toys to play with.
“Whoa,” Wesley whispered.
“How close can we get?” spoke up Jason.
“The warding starts at the fence,” I told him with a small gesture. “So, just there.”
Both boys wandered closer and I glanced at their parents. It seemed that Suzanne’s zoo had a serious reputation for high quality invisible walls, because they didn’t look worried in the slightest about the boys being hurt or killed.
“They prefer dense forest as their home and have been known to make their nests in trees up to twenty meter in the air,” I continued. “And when hunting, they’ve been seen dropping eight meters straight down. They have incredibly dense yet flexible musculature, which allows them to tackle their prey without injuring themselves.”
There was more information about the animal that I continued to rattle off, though Wesley chimed in at certain points with the info I was about to convey. That was highly entertaining and very cool. When I’d been in school, I’d never met anyone who had my level of passion about endangered animals. I wondered if things were better where these folks came from, but realized that considering there were so few of these animals left, I guessed not.
The animal paced a little bit, seemingly waiting to see if we were the kind of humans that came bearing food, before deciding we weren’t and climbing back up into the trees as easily as I would climb some stairs.
As we moved onto enclosure two, Jason spoke up. “Are there any animals here we can touch or feed or something?”
I sighed inwardly before slowing to a stop. “Well, can you show me your hands?” Jason looked bemused, holding out his hands. “I mean…they both look like they’re in great shape. You can stand to lose one.”
The two women chuckled and Wesley smirked as Jason shoved his hands into his pockets. “Very funny.”
Grinning, I started walking again. “The animals here are all carnivores and all predators. You get to see them, but that’s it.”
“Alright.”
When we reached enclosure two, I started on my next spiel. “We’ve got three reanimated dead in this enclosure,” I spoke. They were just coming out from the trees as we arrived, presumably having heard our approach. “Marissa, Connor, and Bradley. They were donated by families who knew where they would be exhibited. Their next of kin, whoever they are, can’t stand the idea of putting them down. But we need to make sure they don’t have access to corpses, because one of them plus one corpse equals two of them.”
“They eat flesh though, don’t they?” Wesley asked.
I nodded. “Oh, yeah, but it’s from bodies that have already been dismembered. There’s no chance of them being affected by the transformation because it’s all parts.”
“Oh, got it.”
The creatures with blueish-white skin had superhuman strength, which is why they qualified for the security of Suzanne’s zoo. They also were likely the source of any Earth tales of people being brought back to life as zombies, specifically draugr, according to my research. They smelled like rotting flesh, so even as I kept talking about them and giving a background to the people they used to be, we were quick to move on once Wesley had gotten a good, long look at them.
“Enclosure four’s animal is a vampiric spirit. He’s a small, hairy humanoid creature with pointed ears. He wears a hat, and if he somehow loses it, he freaks out,” I said.
“They eat horses,” Wesley noted. “Also anything that gives them the chance to sit on it, usually catching them by surprise while they’re sleeping.”
The creature came out from the brush, giving us a suspicious look. He wasn’t in his humanoid form though; for some reason, he’d chosen to shapeshift to a dog.
I nodded. “Yep, indeed. Once the prey is dead, then he’ll eat it, and he has a voracious appetite. We have two wolves and two bears in the forest, which is one of the reasons I’ve got some self-defense items,” I said, patting my belt where my pepper spray (rated for bear) and my taser. “But the wards keep them out of this area of the zoo, so it’s really not much of a worry. It’s also a known shapeshifter, preferring the form of a dog, as you can see, as well as a cat, a snake, or even white butterflies, though the last one is rare.”
“The white butterflies are supposed to be a sign of good luck,” Wesley said, glancing to me. “Too bad we got the dog.”
“Yeah, otherwise you might be able to talk your mom into getting scratch-offs on your way home, huh?”
Wesley smirked at me.
The next enclosure was Spike, and he was waiting for us, dripping wet from having just emerged from the lake. I gave the introductory information about him, which included his propensity for eating animal eyes, nails, and teeth. “Recently, I’ve given him some enrichment activities, and I learned he likes artichokes, pecans, and hazelnuts,” I said, taking a bag out from my cargo shorts. “Wesley, do you want to toss this bag into the enclosure?”
The boy’s eyes widened and he nodded excitedly. He took a look into the paper bag before wrapping down the top to make sure nothing would fly out. Then he chucked it underhand past the fence. It landed a few yards from Spike, who waddled over to it quickly and tearing the bag open, spilling out the prizes inside. As the animal ate the pecans and hazelnuts, Wesley asked, “How’d you figure out he likes those?”
“It’s not all about taste,” I told him. “It’s mainly the difficulty of getting them out of the shells. He’s used to having to work for the parts of his prey he likes the most, so this mimics that activity, and he enjoys the process. I tried a bunch of different foods to find a few he liked.”
“Cool,” Wesley murmured, staring at him.
We watched Spike eat until he’d finished and then he went back into the woods, leaving us to move onto enclosure five. Japanese camellia were plentiful here, a type of pink flower, and that was because they grew anywhere near one of his species made their den. “This girl spends most of her time in the lake also,” I said, as the creature made its way toward the fence separating us from it. “But as you can see, she’s just as curious as the rest about what we’re doing here and whether we have food for her. She eats fish mostly, but she also regularly gets live prey.”
This creature was a spider-like monster, having six legs with long claws on each, and the head of an ox with two sharp horns. She was capable of shapeshifting to look like a human, but I guessed that she wasn’t fond of it, since I hadn’t yet seen her in that form.
“She prefers the easy way of catching prey, so to speak, by hiding in the lake and pouncing when something comes for a drink of water,” I explained. “Apparently humans are some of her favorite prey. She has an advantage of being able to spit poison, which often hits her prey in the eyes. But it’s usually used in defense rather than offense, since it secretes a limited amount.”
“What kind of animal would even go after something like this?” Jason asked, staring at her.
“Never discount one of its own species when you’re thinking about what might attack an animal,” I replied. “There are places that are breeding all of the animals here, but competition for mates is common. That means an advantage in a fight, like poison or venom, can make or break who the winner is.”
“Ah, gotcha.”
“It can’t spit past the warding, right?” Carla suddenly asked.
“Oh, no,” I assured her. “We’re fine. The wards wouldn’t let anything cross over.” She nodded, appeased.
The animal in enclosure six was the ginormous seal-hippo, Fiona, and she was looking at us as if she was imagining sprinkling us with herbs and spices and stuffing us in an oven. “This girl is one animal I’m going to work on enrichment activities for next,” I told them. “She prefers to feed on crayfish, though she’s happy to eat any humans that wander into her territory. She’ll even make a sound like a baby crying to reel us in. I’ve heard it a bunch of times.”
“Can you get her to make the sound?” Jason asked, perking up.
I grinned. “Not on command, sorry.”
“What enrichment are you thinking of trying?” Wesley asked.
“Possibly food placed in puzzle feeders,” I told him, “since she has claws that are pretty dexterous. Maybe a piñata made out of newspaper with flour inside, or a scarecrow that mimics a human.”
“Awesome,” he muttered.
After a little more educational tidbits, we moved onto Yui’s enclosure. “What is that?” Wesley asked, smiling.
“I got Yui the closest thing I could to a ping-pong ball,” I replied. “She quite likes it.”
“That’s so funny,” he said as she came out of the trees in her spider form. “I mean, the idea of her being a bloodthirsty hunter who seduces men to their deaths and eats them alive, but then on the other hand, she likes playing with something like this.”
“It is a little funny,” I agreed. “But when it comes down to it, all the animals here enjoy activities besides hunting.”
“She can shapeshift to look human, right?” asked Jason, trying to be casual about knowing something factual like his nerdy brother.
I nodded. “She looks like a woman from a region of Earth called Japan. And she’ll use strategies like holding out a hand to shake to get you closer. She tried that on me when I first got here but, as you can see,” I said, holding up my hands and waving them, “I didn’t fall for it.”
The boys both laughed as they got closer to the fence, watching her slowly pace near the trees.
Next was Sun, but she didn’t make an appearance as I spoke about her species. “Well…unfortunately we can’t guarantee that every animal comes out to say hi,” I sighed. “But…oh wait, here she is.”
The green lion with several horns and many eyes along her flank came out from the forest. “Hello,” she spoke.
“Hi, Sun,” I replied. “We have visitors.”
“What’s that?” Wesley asked suddenly, pointing at the small plastic bag that was still where I’d left it.
“Oh! That is Sun’s enrichment,” I said with a smile. “I put dozens of books on a flash drive and found that she can read them just like she’d read a shelf of books.”
Wesley’s eyes widened. “Wow. I don’t think I’ve read about anyone trying that before. That’s really cool.”
“The books are new and interesting,” Sun spoke, drawing our attention. “I’m grateful for them.”
I nodded to her. “You’re quite welcome.”
The next animal, unfortunately, wasn’t there, and we waited around for ten minutes as we discussed him. He was large and reptile-like with red eyes, with its hind legs and tail making him look vaguely like a kangaroo. Then, enclosure ten was a terrifyingly disturbing creature, the not-a-centaur with no skin, that I’d only seen a few times while walking my route. It gave a good demonstration of its ferocity, showing its sharp teeth and snapping at us a few times.
“I’m thinking of trying salt licks and other horse enrichment like a big bouncy ball,” I told Wesley, whose eyebrows went up at that. “Maybe give him more things to forage like scattered grains or a box filled with pinecones and seeds. Foraging is a huge part of a horse’s life in the wild, and humans have to do a lot of activities like that to keep pet horses busy. Of course, he also loves the little salt-water lake that was built for him.”
We spent some time looking at the animal before moving past our last stop, the empty enclosure of the animal was stolen. Carla glanced at me with a sad smile, knowing what had happened, it seemed. I gave her a nod as we continued on our way, walking into the office. “So, I hope everyone enjoyed themselves!” I said with a smile.
“That was the coolest birthday present I’ve ever gotten,” Wesley said, looking to Denise. “Thanks so much, seriously.”
“It was my pleasure,” she said with a nod. “I’d never been here before, and knew I’d find it fascinating. Thank you for the educational aspect,” Denise said, glancing at me. “I learned quite a lot.”
“Happy to hear it,” I said, returning the nod.
As I escorted the guests out of the zoo and locked the door behind them, I reflected on how much I’d changed. The first time I’d seen Yui’s tarantula form, I’d nearly passed out from fear. Now here I was, walking tourists around like it was no big deal. Humans really can adapt to anything, it seems.
That afternoon, Suzanne had texted me that she was coming by after my shift, and I met her in Andrew’s office, shutting the door to the security room behind me. “How’s Andrew?” I asked first thing.
“He’s doing well,” she said with a wide smile. “Back on non-hospital food. He’s allowed to order food on his phone, and to hear it from him, that’s the best news he’d received in a long time.”
I chuckled. “I guess some clichés are true for a reason.”
“Indeed.” She took a breath. “All right. Ripley…I would like to discuss something with you.”
My face went slack at the serious tone in her voice. “I’m not… Am I being fired?”
“What? No!” she exclaimed. Then she chuckled softly. “No, it’s nothing like that. Just, here, let’s have a seat.” Suzanne walked over to the couch and sat at one end, and I took the other. “There’s something I need to tell you. Something I’ve kept from you, that I wanted to keep from you until you found your sea legs here.”
“Well…I have,” I said with a nod. “So, what is it?”
Suzanne took a breath. “I knew your mother.”
The words hung in the air for a moment before making their way to my ears. It was a perfectly logical sentence, and yet it didn’t make any sense. “What?” I finally managed.
“When you graduated college, I decided to move the zoo from Italy to within driving distance of your home,” she said softly. “Near enough to your town that you’d see the advert. We ignored any other applicants and I hoped you’d apply. Actually, I expected you’d apply. Not just for the money, but considering the field you wanted to go into. As soon as I’d found out your major, I knew.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” I said, holding up a hand. I pinched the bridge of my nose. “How do you know Patricia?”
“She owned the zoo before I did,” Susan explained. “Fourteen years ago…she was working to track an injured animal that we could bring into the zoo and she was killed by poachers.”
My heart calcified in my chest and a lump lodged in my throat. As my breaths became shaky, I stared at her in shock. “She…she’s really dead?”
“You suspected?” she asked softly.
“It…” I swallowed hard. “We had her declared legally dead after…I don’t know, seven years I think. My dad wanted to go after her for child support, but the police said…they said they couldn’t find…” Tears came to my eyes and I blinked them back before I met Suzanne’s gaze. “She owned the zoo?”
Suzanne nodded. “It was her baby, you’d say. When Patricia passed, I inherited it, which we’d discussed beforehand, a legal just-in-case that I never expected her to need. I’m under the impression that you were told she went to Africa for her photography career, but she was in fact going to remote areas back in my home world almost every time.”
“But I-I saw the photos,” I said, my eyes narrowing. “You’re telling me she put on a show of getting pictures that someone else took for us to see every time she visited? Did my dad even know?”
“I suppose that’s an accurate way to put it, putting on a show. And no, your father was never told. It’s not the way of things to tell humans unless it’s necessary. I won’t bore you with the details, but us and humans, we’re distant relatives, so we can still have children. But it wasn’t planned. Your mother fell in love with your father despite herself; she hadn’t meant to find love. Then she became pregnant with you and…well, the rest is history.”
“I think she had a different definition of love than the one I have,” I said tightly. “You’d think she’d have put her survival as more of a priority. Put being with the man she ‘loved’ as a priority. Her kids needed her. I needed her. She signed up when she became a mom. She could’ve screwed up all the time but she couldn’t even manage that one job: be there. When I was in the hospital, I kept thinking, ‘Where is she?’ and now you’re telling me that she put these animals above being there for her kids, and this whole time she’s been dead.”
“The hospital?” she asked, furrowing her brows.
“Never mind,” I said tersely, averting my gaze.
Suzanne hesitated before she nodded slowly. “I’m sorry for your loss, and not just for her death, Ripley,” she told me. “Patricia was…well, a ‘free spirit’ would be putting it gently. She always assumed the world would be there for her whenever she needed it.”
Staring at her for a long moment, I shook my head. “Why? Why come here and hire me?”
“I thought that would be obvious,” she said, smiling. “Your mother was so passionate about this place and once I found out your college major, I figured you would be as well.”
“Did you know that I hate her?” At that, Suzanne’s expression froze on the edge of shock. “She…she left us,” I whispered. “Didn’t tell us who she was or what she really did for a living and gave us no closure. And even when she was here, it was just visiting. Her real home was her work. She could give me all the presents she wanted, but even when she was here, half the time she was still on her computer doing work. It’s not like that stereotype of never making it to my tennis practice or something; it’s that it always felt like she was only partially here, even when I was sitting next to her. I don’t even know if I appreciate her turning me into a wildlife fanatic because it…it…makes me feel like I’m close to her in a way that’s just infuriating. She loved the animals more than she loved us.”
“Oh, Ripley-”
“Don’t,” I said, shoving myself to my feet. “Don’t try to convince me otherwise.”
“I wasn’t going to,” she said quietly. I pursed my lips. “I was going to say that I’m sorry that was the case. Your mother was…flawed, just like any other person. She had two loves in this world: her family and her work. And often, her work overcame her, her zeal for environmentalism getting in the way of being a good mum. She left your father trying to fill the role of two parents, holding your family together. You and your brother and your father, you all deserved better than that.”
My lower lip quivered but I bit down on it hard. It would’ve been a lot easier for me if she’d been speaking from a place of clueless reassurance about all this. But everything she said was making sense and that meant I didn’t have someone in front of me to be angry with.
“Why didn’t you tell me when Andrew hired me?” I sighed, sitting back down on the couch.
“Well, like I said, I wanted you to find your sea legs,” she said with a small smile. “I didn’t want the truth affecting whether or not you wanted to work here, whether you wanted to stay here after finding out about what the animals are. It would’ve complicated things, the emotions you’ll have to work through now that you know the truth. Whether or not you decide to give another tour, you also know what they’re like. That’s the benchmark I wanted you to reach before you found out about who you are.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Who I-” My face went slack. “Wait.”
Suzanne nodded slowly. “You’re only half human. Your brother too.”
The room seemed to tilt on an axis for a moment. “That means I’m also half…what?”
“We call ourselves Eldritch, these days,” she replied.
My eyes bugged out. “What?” I exclaimed. “So you’re all, like, gods or something?”
Suzanne burst out laughing. “Oh no, goodness, no,” she chuckled. “It’s just a word. We live in a very different world from this one, and a few generations ago we discovered the word and it made its way into our lexicon. But it does mean you can see all the animals. Indeed you did, on the tour you gave.”
“Wait, no, I had the glasses that…” I stopped. “Did those glasses do anything?”
She gave a sly smile and shook her head. “Not a thing. You made incredibly quick progress, and then when it came time for the tour, all you needed was to expect to see the animals, and you did.”
Genetics. That’s what Andrew had said during our interview, that part of how many animals you could see was determined by genetics. I guess having a mother who was originally from the other dimension gave me all the genes I needed to see everything here. “Could I…visit your world?” I asked tentatively. “You said that my mom took photos of the animals there. Could I…” My voice trailed off, not even sure if or how I wanted to finish that sentence.
“Those who are half human, especially those who are raised on Earth, don’t come visit,” she said gently. “I could show you some photos of other animals, and I could loan you as many books as you’d like, but it’s simply not a place where you’d be safe.”
“Oh,” I said, leaning into the couch cushion as I pictured the animals in the zoo. “Yeah, actually that…makes sense.” I paused. “So, what now?”
“It’s up to you,” she said. “I wanted to wait until I was sure you were comfortable with your position here, and then put the ball in your court. And so it is. What do you want to do now?”
What did I want to do? It wasn’t that difficult a question, just a deep, serious one.
I wanted to thrive, as the animals did. This is my enrichment now, working at an incredible, wonderful, terrifying zoo. The experience so far hasn’t been perfect, and I know there are risks, but life isn’t about staying safe. It’s about learning new things and making a difference in the world. And, if you’re lucky, having a job that’s something really special.
​
THE END
​
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***
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I recently got out of a long-term relationship that turned emotionally/verbally abusive toward the end. Several times when my ex would get carried away with his shouting and throwing, our upstairs neighbour would come down to stop the worst of it and check on me as she was a DV survivor and knew I had no family in the country.
I finally left a few months ago but didn't get a chance to thank her or say goodbye, or even exchange names. I'd like to let her know I'm safe now and thankful for her actions, while keeping it short and respectful as I know the last few years weren't easy for her either. I haven't made much time for my writing in a while so I'm out of practice and could use some input, especially from women who may have been a 'guardian angel' once themselves.
"Hello :)
My name is [name], I'm the woman who used to live downstairs from you at [flat number].
I'm very sorry I never got your name, but I wanted to thank you for the times you came to our door and broke things up between my then-partner and I.
You should have never had to do that and I deeply regret the quality of life you and your dogs must have had living next to so much chaos; however looking back now with some clarity I am grateful you took a stand while also bringing my attention to the severity of the situation I was in.
I have moved back in with my family for the time being; things are improving for me day by day and I have peace again. I can only hope you do as well.
Thank you for being so kind when you didn't need to be, and best wishes for the future,
[My name]."
Anything you would add or change?

This will be a bit long so there will be a tl,dr at the end if you don't want to read all of it. I'm new at this so bear with me.
Bit of background about myself I [18F] have diagnosed combination type ADHD though for my entire life my doctor has recommended I be tested for Autism and my school has always been saying that I have Autism for as long as I can remember. I have never been emotionally attached to my parents while I am grateful for all they have done for me I have just never been attached to them like I would care if they were gone. When I was in elementary school I was a very hyper child and I was not well behaved at all due to this in kindergarten my teachers would often tell me to go off to another part of the room away from everyone else and give me things to play with so that I would be distracted and they could teach the rest of the class without me disrupting them so I would pretty much be isolated from everyone else. I have been in special needs classes since kindergarten and I have only been put on medication for my ADHD once which was when I was 8 but I was taken off it by my parents as it turned me into a "zombie" I believe the medication was Adderall but other than that I have been unmedicated for ten (10) years. My parents have been married 18 years, I believe they got married because my mother became pregnant with me
I discovered that my mother was cheating on my father about two (2) or three (3) months ago though I had been suspecting it for over six (6) months I just never had any solid proof until two (2) to three (3) months ago. Recently I had my friend send my father the proof of my mother's affair that I have collected but to my surprise after they talked for around 15 about it their relationship has improved significantly compared to how it's been for over a year. This all started in 2023 my mother began constantly face timing this guy we'll call P I had never seen before whenever my father wasn't around when I asked about it she said P was just a friend and so I believed her and I had even spoken to the guy though he didn't sit well with me as he seemed like a prick. After about a month of my mother constantly on the phone with P whenever my father wasn't around I began to wonder if there was more to this, so I began listening in on their conversations whenever I could to see if I could hear anything that indicated that was an affair but I never got anything out of it besides lewd jokes and comments from P about black women. During this time she was giving my father zero affection and had even stopped telling me that she loved me even I said it to her.
Eventually I got fed up with them constantly talking to each other and I was very angry with my mother for taking me and my three (3) year old brother to the park for as she called it "family time" only for her to be off on her own away from us and on her phone the entire time texting and face timing P and even flat out ignoring me numerous times whenever I tried to talk to her or asked her to watch me do something, this upset me because I like getting attention from others and she had denied me that. So after I was fed up with them I went off on my mother for the first time ever while she on the phone with P and said some not nice things to her and said not nice things about P, I also brought up my suspicion of her having an affair which she denied and when I pressed her about why said lied to me about things regarding P such as where he lived, how she knew him, why she only ever called him whenever my father wasn't around, and why she started talking to him she told me it was because she "wasn't allowed to have friends" which is not true she has many friends many of which I know. After that all happened I stopped talking to her for a while and she stopped calling him whenever I was around and I began to wait for opportunities for when I could take her phone and go though it as I knew her password. I couldn't just wait for her to go to bed as she is a light sleeper and my father goes to bed a different times from her so he would see me and question me as to why I was taking her phone or she would end up waking up and question me so I had to wait for when she left her phone unattended which wasn't very often.
Two (2) months ago I was able to swipe her phone and go though it and it was all right there. I love you's, naked pictures, sexual conversations, talk of divorcing my father for P and taking my brother with, and I made sure to get plenty of pictures of it and I even found out that on a trip she took to "Ohio" in which is paid 300$ for plan tickets to and from she had actually not went there and instead went to the state P lives, I also found P's Facebook where he had pictures of himself with my mother together and the dates the pictures were posted and the date my mother left for her trip matched up, during that trip she had actually never even called back home to talk to me, my father, or my brother. For a while after I confirmed my mother was cheating on my father I blamed myself because P asked me if I was okay with him talking to my mother (This was when I still though he was just her friend) and I said I was and it made me feel like I was the one that allowed this to happen but I realized it wasn't my fault and the only one to blame was my mother. After my mother returned from her trip she had actually wanted to have sex with my father for the first time in a while though I suspect she only did it because she had sex with P and wanted to do it with my father in case she became pregnant though I have no evidence to prove this but I do know that birth control does not work for my mother as when she conceived me, my sister, and my brother she was on birth control same as her mother though take that with a grain of salt as my mother is terrible at taking medication at the same time everyday. After that I began to plan out what to do, I didn't care about what would happen to me if they got divorced I was thinking of how I could try and get this to work out best for my brother. My at the time boyfriend had gone though a similar situation as to what I was going though, his mother cheated on his father and divorced him and ran away with her affair, leaving behind her children and leaving her ex-husband in lots of debt from legal fees. I didn't want that to happen to my father so I talked with my at the time boyfriend and my friends as for what I should do and I also looked into what the divorce laws in my state which my state does not count adultery as grounds for divorce.
Eventually I got another chance to go though my mother's phone and it was more of the same old stuff but in one part she told P that she was in the process of filing some kind of legal paperwork and P seemed excited about that there was also a "protected files" thing on her phone that needed a password to get into but since it wasn't the same password as the one to her phone I couldn't get it. Once I saw that I knew I couldn't wait any longer and I had my friend send my father the proof though a burner phone number so none of it was connected me and they wouldn't know I had all of the evidence then I waited for him to confront my mother. It didn't take long for that to happen as soon as she came home from work he was on her about it but he never raised his voice or showed any kind of aggression towards my mother they just calmly talked for about 15 minutes. During so my mother never showed any kind of regret or remorse, she never even said sorry mostly just saying "believe what you want to believe" she told my father that he was just a friend from high school (Though I think there is more to it than that) and that he was obsessed with her and wanted her to divorce my father for him and even her parents where egging her on to do it but she said she didn't want to give up her family and home just to start all over and that if she wanted to leave she would have already left, but that doesn't really make sense to me as if you cared so much about your family and the life you built then wouldn't you show some kind of emotional response when all of that was threatened? she also implied that the lewd pictures she had sent P he had paid her to send them. After they finished talking they hugged and carried on with their day like nothing had happened and they have been doing things they hadn't done in years, cuddling in bed together, kissing, and hugging. Today I checked my mother's phone again and it seems she has stopped talking to P all together and doesn't even have him as a friend of Facebook anymore and I can't find their messages on Facebook messenger anymore though I doubt she really stopped.
TL,DR: My mother cheated on my father but after exposing her cheating to my father their relationship began to improve, I want to try and fix my relationship with my mother for the sake of my brother but I don't know how to go about it
While their relationship is improving my relationship with my mother is in the trash I have told her to stop talking to me or doing anything with me period as I despise cheating but I would like to attempt to fix my relationship with my mother because I want to be in my brother's life and I feel if things between me and my mother sour she will prevent me from being around him and I plan on moving out as soon as I am able to. I have two (2) older half sister's 21 and 25 respectively (Same father different mother) but I don't get to see them much since they have their own lives and one of them even has her own family, my mother also doesn't like them and I feel she played a role in keeping me from seeing them when I was growing up and I have one (1) younger sister that was put up for adoption though it is an open adoption so I still see her every now and then, I have never been able to form any kind of relationship with my siblings as I never grew up with them and I scarcely saw them during my childhood but my brother is the only one I have been able to be with long-term and I want to be able to build a relationship with my brother as he grows up and I believe fixing my relationship with my mother will help me be able to do this. I want to be able to fix things between me and my mother for my brother but at the same time I don't want to reveal that I was the one that caused her little affair to get exposed as I feel that will damage our relationship even more. How should I approach mending things with her without damaging things further? I don't believe cheaters should be given a second chance with the person they cheated on but I want to fix things between me and mother at least temporarily for my brother.

dealing with a problematic member of a board games group
Originally posted to Ask A Manager
EDITORS NOTE: Changed Q to Quinn for easier reading
Original Post Sept 15, 2022
I wanted to write and say thank you.
I am part of a local board games group, and started to run the group a while ago. It’s a great group of people who all enjoy coming together to play board games and have fun, and it was one of the key factors in making my husband and I feel at home in the city where we live. We have both made friends with people in the group, and it’s now a firm part of our life here. In addition, a regular member who left recently said that the group was the highlight of his week, which was lovely to hear. I love running the group!
However, there is a member of the group, Quinn, who has been in the group since it started (seven years or more) and has been displaying problematic behavior since he joined (rude comments, refusing to play anyone else’s games, losing his temper at times, leaving games in a huff when he’s losing, and generally making the atmosphere unpleasant for others). When we joined, we were told that Quinn bothered everyone but was just something that was being in the group, so we went along with that. At the time, the group was very serious and inclined towards more serious board games, and only three people ever brought games. There has been a real change of culture since then, with a range of games being played (light games, traditional games, and heavy games) and everyone brings games now. The atmosphere is a lot lighter, with more emphasis on having fun and being social, and this is something that Quinn does not enjoy and has not adjusted well to.
When I started to run the group, I noticed Quinn’s behavior was having a terrible effect on the group (people not coming back because of him or doing anything to avoid playing with him, and his preference for playing games in reverential silence making sessions less fun for everyone). I also realized that some people were at breaking point with this and it might contribute to them leaving.
The deputy (Kelly) and I wanted to ensure that we did it fairly and using the right procedure. We gathered feedback on the group, (which was useful in itself!), which confirmed that Quinn’s behavior was an issue, and I spoke to him, named what we were seeing with clear examples, and explained what we needed to see change. Quinn said he would take it on board. Your scripts and language were very helpful, as Quinn takes things very literally and factually.
Quinn’s behavior improved for four weeks, which was great. Some people have put up with it for so long that no amount of change will make them want to play games with Quinn, but some people were willing to give Quinn a chance. Unfortunately, Quinn’s behavior started to slip after four weeks, culminating in a session where they almost put a new member off coming back by lecturing them about group etiquette and insulting their game shelves with what was meant to be a joke, but did not land.
I spoke to Quinn again and explained that since the behavior we discussed had returned, if this did not improve, we would have to ask Quinn to leave as the group is for everyone and I need to do what’s right for the group as a whole.
Quinn took the points on board and was visibly upset at the thought of being asked to leave the group. Since we spoke to them, they haven’t attended of the two sessions since then, but they are still chatting on our Discord channel and seem to be trying to make amends by promoting the group to a students’ group in the city we live in.
We don’t know what will happen, but Kelly and I have agreed what behaviors will mean Quinn will be asked to leave, and your scripts and posts were invaluable in thinking about how to tackle this, and what language to use. Your posts have helped me realize that being the group leader means that the buck stops with me. For example, my husband and I disagreed on how to handle the situation (he was in favor of asking Quinn to leave immediately) but I had the confidence to think it through, follow the process through fairly, and know that if it didn’t work, that responsibility would rest with me.
This isn’t related to work per se, but I wanted to say thank you very much for the invaluable and free advice which has really helped me in navigating this situation!
Update Apr 11, 2024
I am the letter writer who runs a board games group and used Alison’s excellent advice about communication to deal with a problematic member of the games group and the issues their behavior was causing.
We had a twist in the tale recently when Quinn, the member who was asked to leave the group because their behavior was negatively impacting others, asked if they could come back.
For four weeks every year, we use a different venue as another group needs our normal venue. One one of the four weeks, I went for a walk before the session and noticed what looked like Quinn in the park. When the session started, Quinn appeared, just “passing by,” and we had a quick chat about this and that before they asked if they could come back to the group, saying they were in a better place now. They then left without ordering anything, which makes me think they dropped in just to see us.
I said I would send a message, and gave it due consideration. I also asked a friend who knows Quinn and used to be in the group, but has now moved, for their more objective input.
The decision was no: the group is working well as it is, with high numbers and between 11 and 20 people per session, and Quinn coming back would lead to awkwardness and possible animosity from a few people, some of whom would speak their mind. We would also lose a lot of members, and the group would slowly decline. For what it’s worth, one person who had some very negative interactions with Quinn, when they heard why Quinn was there ( they were round the corner), exclaimed “No!” to Quinn coming back, and this person is one of the nicest people you’ll meet. Similar reactions were given from others.
I sent Quinn a message explaining the decision, and I was as fair and kind as possible given the circumstances. Quinn has found another games group, albeit one that only plays light games, (not heavy games, Quinn’s preference), and I mentioned that and said it sounds like a nice group (which it does).
Quinn was perfectly pleasant when we chatted, but that was for about eight minutes, and they knew what was coming. They also said that they weren’t often doing the things I’d mentioned anymore (moving other people’s pieces, and a couple of other examples I gave), and that although their new group likes light games, they are helping some people progress up to heavier games. It wasn’t clear if the people wanted to progress (one of the issues we had was Quinn assuming that everyone wanted to progress).
The games group continues to do well, with enough surplus each year to give everyone free sessions every January, and we receive frequent feedback that the atmosphere is friendly and welcoming and that people feel at home and confident to bring and teach their games there. Our annual Christmas potluck dinner and session with a Secret Santa also continues. We also have a Google sheet with people’s games collections, if they want to add them, thanks to one of our members who likes spreadsheets.
For myself, Ask a Manager continues to help me out at work! I recently applied for a job which would be a step up income wise and I used Alison’s tips, and I use the communication tips in daily life as well as at work. I was actually used as a bargaining chip in recent negotiations at work over a type of meeting that needs minuting (for my minuting skills), so I will take that as a compliment!
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

It's time baby. You've been with me 8 years, 6 months, and 13 days since Jared brought you home and you became my cat. My baby. You were only about 2 months old according to the vet so I decided September 1st was your birthday.
Tomorrow we have to part ways. I see that you haven't been feeling well for a little while now. Today really proved that. It was raining, and you didn't even want to go outside. That's not like you Oliver. You love going outside, even in the rain. You're a cat that loves water.
You barely ate today, mostly eating the chicken I brought to you. You spent the day sleeping behind the closet door. I made sure to put your blanket down in there so it was extra soft and comfy.
We spent time together in that cramped little closet today. I've apologized a million times for all the moments I lost my cool with you not because you escaped, yet again, but just because I was frustrated and yelled at you. You didn't deserve that, and I can never take it back. The apologies will never be enough.
We talked about the good times. The time I woke up in the middle of the night sandwiched between you and Bella. My orange boy snuggled up on side, and my pittie, like a block of concrete on the other. Neither one of you budged when I wiggled my way out from under the covers to go pee, or wiggled my way back in. Or the times you climbed the big arborvitae tree in the backyard and made your way onto the garage roof. Or you just climbed up as far as you could go and needed me to come up and get you. You laying on my shoulders when we went to the pet store. The millions of times you came to greet me at the door and launched yourself up into my arms or climbed onto my shoulders from on top of the fridge.
My two favorites being 1) the couple of times you slept under the covers with me. And 2) the time I tried to make you sit with me and watch Oliver and Company. The movie I named you after. You didn't go for it, so I watched it alone.
There's so many more memories that I'll forever cherish. The snuggles, the baths, chasing you around the neighborhood.
Time has flown, and yet it was never enough. You're just snoozing away in the cat climber right now, and tomorrow night when I look up, you won't be there. Not physically anyway. I feel the immense pain of having to lose you. It feels like every fiber of my being is being ripped to shreds. This is worse than childbirth.
It hurts to know Caleb will never really know you. There's a few pictures, and you've let him touch you a couple times. You've even snuggled his head a few times in the nights... after trying to play with and nibble on it. I love him, but I feel horribly guilty that these past 5 months I haven't been able to give you the same amount of love and attention as I used to. Going outside as often as we once did hasn't been easy since moving into the apartment and especially after the baby.
You were never a placeholder. You are now, always have been, and forever will be my first baby Oliver.
Oliver, Ollie, Ol, Pookie, Pooks, Fluffernutter, Fluff, Chonk, Chonker. Fluffernut. Nutter butter. The cat I swear I should have named Dennis the Menace. My orange boy.
I don't want you to go. I don't know how to do this without you. I don't WANT to do it without you. But I promised you I'd always protect you. I'd never let anything happen to you; that Momma's got you. And the truth is, if I let things go the way they've been, I'll have broken that promise. And I'll have been the one who hurt you because I was too selfish to let you go with dignity. I can't do that to you. I won't.
So in the morning, we'll go outside for the sunrise if you're up for it. We'll have some yogurt together. I'll hold you close. And when our time is at the close, I'll be right beside you. In the comfort of our own home. Together, with daddy and Caleb, and Kitty nearby. I'll be with you until the end. Always.
I love you Pooks. More than anything. Thank you for our time together. Come find me again.

[TLDR at the bottom.]
According to Jesus, faith is a work God that WE ourselves must do.
[Jhn 6:28-29 KJV] 28 Then said they unto him, *What shall WE do, that WE might work the works of God?** 29 Jesus answered and said unto them, This is the work of God, that YE believe on him whom he hath sent.*

Man is not justified by faith alone, but by faith and works together. As you can see below, additional works must be added to faith in order to keep faith alive; just as a spirit is breathed into a body to make it a living soul.
[Jas 2:24, 26 KJV] 24 Ye see then how that by works a man is justified, and *not by faith only. ... 26 For **as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.*

Peter agreed that works had to be added to faith.
[2Pe 1:5-7 KJV] 5 And beside this, giving all diligence, *ADD TO YOUR FAITH** virtue; and to virtue knowledge; 6 And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; 7 And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.*

Paul did not teach "Faith Alone", but justification by faith apart from the works of the Mosaic Law.
[Rom 3:28 KJV] 28 Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith *without the deeds of the law.***

Works Salvation is not about earning anything.

In Christ, we are redeemed from the bondage of sin and made to be servants of righeousness. A good servant does not earn anything, but simply does what he is commanded by his master. The redeeming sacrifice of Christ was an act of God's grace.
[Rom 6:16-18 KJV] 16 Know ye not, that *to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?** 17 But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. 18 Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness.*
[Luk 17:10 KJV] 10 So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, *We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do.***

TLDR: There is no reason to fear or reject Works Salvation: Faith is a work Jesus' commandments are not burdensome. Love fulfills the Law. We are servants with an easy yoke and a light burden.

[1Jo 5:3 KJV] 3 For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and *his commandments are not grievous.***
[Mat 11:28-30 KJV] 28 Come unto me, all [ye] that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30 *For my yoke [is] EASY, and my burden is LIGHT.***
[1Jo 3:23-24 KJV] 23 And *this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment.** 24 And he that keepeth his commandments dwelleth in him, and he in him. And hereby we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us.*

I’m trying to figure out what this is/what’s happening with me when I do this.
Long story short, as a kid, my parents (mostly my dad) were always accusing me of doing things that I wasn’t doing and/or basically assigning intentions to my actions.
Simplified example “you knew I wanted you to call me when you got to the football game but you purposefully didn’t. You have no respect for us. Why did we even get you a phone just so you could ignore our calls??” Or they might take it a step further and say “you probably didn’t even go there.” All the while, I just hadn’t heard the phone ring, finally saw the 8 missed calls, panicked, then sounded sketchy when I finally picked it up. Not saying I never did anything wrong to lose trust, I did. But nothing beyond the scope of what a normal teen would do. My sister (2 years my senior) would be allowed to join in on the chastising as well. Often times this did turn into me telling lies almost defensively.
This continued into adulthood (fully independent, self supporting, living on my own) but shapeshifted into different things such as how I was parenting etc. I went out for a night and got an OUI and my dad said “you’re just pawning your kids off with whoever while you go get drunk” (they were with my husband) and later he told my husband I was “probably off getting f***ed.” It was getting the point of ridiculousness. I’d even try to understand where he was coming from but at a certain point I’d just accepted that he thought I was a POS and that’s that.
I once made the comment that every time I would see his name pop up on my phone, I’d get anxiety and every time he asked me a question I felt like lying. I don’t know why, at my big age, I still feel like I need to lie to my dad; but I can see where he’s going with his questions. I know what he’s thinking before he says it. To be clear, by adulthood I wasn’t lying. I mostly just stayed away from him. My only point was that that’s not normal at 28 years old. He then took that as me “admitting hat I always lie.”
I went no contact with him 4 years ago (I’m 32 now) and I’m still trying to unpack all of it. I still occasionally will blurt out a lie if I feel like someone is behaving like an “authority figure” or getting mad at me/giving me anxiety. I’ll go back and correct it after, but it’s really embarrassing. It’s like as soon as my back is against the wall I go into self preservation mode. I talked about this with someone my age who also had harsh/strict parents and she says she does it too.
I feel like my dad gaslit me and shamed me into believing I was more troubled than I am. Does anyone have any insight?

Hello:)
Side note, This will be my FIRST TIME attending a show at the gorge, so I apologize in advance if any of these are obvious.
Very excited for the upcoming show at the gorge! With all the EDC hype it’s been actually quite difficult to find information on this show. I’ve been finding a lot of bass canyons threads, or above and beyond threads but it seems as each show is a little bit unique as far as setup and rules go. Any help with these questions would be greatly appreciated, and I hope to see some of you at the gorge this coming up week:)
1- Food situation? So confused on the fact that it seems we CAN bring coolers in, however food needs to be placed in gallon ziplock bags? So do we put them in bags, inside of our cooler? Or do they need to be separated upon entry?
On the same thought, water? The website says only a gallon is permitted? So I cannot bring a 5 gallon water jug for hand washing and what not? How strict are they with this?
2- “Small propane grills welcome” Requirements on this? I have a stove burner that uses a normal size 5 gallon propane tank. It’s only a single burner so does this classify as a small propane grill? Do they allow propane tanks of this size?
3- Camp upgrades. Originally purchased a GA camping pass. I’ve heard some horror stories from bass canyon about the GA pop being quite rowdy, with no regard to the rules. For a show like Illenium, is this going to still be the case? Hoping to upgrade my camping pass but it says the only way to do so is on site during check in. So should we take the premier camping line and expect to upgrade, or do we wait in the GA line and tell them our situation? Has anyone had experience with upgrading your camping pass?
4- Campground opens at 4, is arriving at like 2 or 3pm too early? Or do you shoot for 4 when it opens?
5- ANY OTHER tips, things to watch for, advice or anything at all would be greatly appreciated. (We have lots of stakes for securing our camping items down)
Looking forward to this show, and I’m sure others have some questions as well so feel free to comment them down below
❤️PLUR❤️

Here’s the story on how my table got booted on Mother’s Day. (It’s pretty epic) (long read but plz it’s amazing) (cussing)
Backdrop: So. It’s Mother’s Day. The BUSIEST day of the year for my restaurant and many others! It’s so busy, that we will have numerous parties (at my place it’s 10+ to be considered a “party”) as well as countless floor tables. We are all assigned parties at the beginning of the shift and then expected to take the walk in parties. There will be a line to the door all morning!
Story: Well. This Mother’s Day, that line lasted ALL DAY LONG. I was in the weeds the entire shift! (It’s a long shift for us. We will be there like twelve hours.) Anyhow, I finish a three with a three dollar tip, I finish a six with a five dollar tip :))) (screw you guys) and then I finish a nine with a great tip. In comes a six, so I take them. Then I have to take the eight behind them and the eleven beside the eight. This is fine and dandy except the kitchen is backed up. They had been behind since square one as well have a lot of newbies.
Well, I burst into tears because my six top was really passive and I wanted to get them their food but it had taken nearly 45 minutes for basic entrees. I am not angry with the cooks because they’re cooking buttloads of food all day long but it is absolutely stressful regardless. I finally get them their food and the guy at the table murmurs about a third refill. Dude spilt his drink earlier. His eyelids are barely open. He can’t speak above a mumble.
Well, I guess prior to this, this asshole got angry and started to look around the restaurant for me despite me telling him it was INSANELY busy and I’ve been in the kitchen three separate times to look for the food but that the cooks are swamped. Mind you, all of us are running circles and we have more tables and customers than we can handle. The owner who is in his eighties, we shall call him “Bob” was standing next to our busser “Frodo”. Big dude comes out of the room and Bob thinks he is looking for the bathroom. Big dude mumbles something and Bob laughs and says “ok” because he couldn’t hear him. Bob then looks over to Frodo and is like “what did he say?”
Frodo is all like “Bob. He was cursing at you. He said ‘I’m not looking for the fucking bathroom, I’m looking for my fucking server, she fucking sucks.’”
Middle Rant: Like bitch. First of all, stop spilling your specially made lemonade. Stop SUCKING DOWN your lemonade when clearly I am pissing sweat and waiting on THE ENTIRE ROOM BEHIND YOU.
Story (Continued)
So I get the salads out for the eight and I am about to take drinks for the eleven but I stop to make sure these assholes are Gucci. Here’s the encounter.
Me: Are you guys doing alright? Anything I can grab you?”
Cheese lady: YOU CAN GRAB MY CHEESE I ASKED YOU FOR FIFTEEN TIMES FIFTEEN MINUTES AGO.
Let’s pause. That’s one cheese request per minute. That’s a lot of requests. Next, don’t be condescending. We servers have it ROUGH on Mother’s Day. It isn’t my intention to not bring you everything you ask for every five seconds, it’s simply the fact that I am waiting on multiple LARGE tables, all of which are pissed to oblivion because they waited in line for an hour to be seated only to wait another hour for their food to come up.
Back to the story: Cheese lady: AND HE NEEDS A REFULL. MY FOOD IS COLD- BLAH BLAH…” (Disclaimer. Her food wasn’t cold. I was crying when they finally handed it to me. I legit waited till they had it in tears)(Also as a server iykyk the tone and attitude she’s giving me)
So, at this point, much like Mob in Mob Psycho has his crazy meter, mine had hit the 100% jackpot of pure rage and adrenaline. I looked at her straight in her angry, boiling eyes, and I said.
“Ma’am… it’s almost like… it’s the busiest day of the year!”
Cheese lady: “YOU CAN GET YOUR BITCH ASS ATTITUDE OUT OF HERE!! cussing shrieks. indistinguishable shrieks of faux success at making a server cry
So I start pissing tears, as I do. I was done man. Legit worked my butt off to get two really crappy tips and then be cussed out by someone who looks like she’s never worked a day in her life. (Not stereotyping, I just mean these people have clearly never worked food)
Frodo (that busser) tells me what they said earlier and tells me to go tell Bob (the owner)
I go to Bob, tell him what they said and even what I said, and he says. “Wait right here, dear.”
I hide out in his office wiping my face as I hear the mean table screaming at him from down the hall. Then Bob pulls out The Big Guns to the big dude.
Bob: “WERE YOU BORN TO BE RUDE!!?”
Big Guy: “Wwehhh! My wife is the one who spoke to her! not me! 🥺🥺🥺👨🏻‍🦯‍➡️👨🏻‍🦯‍➡️”
Bob: “THAT DOESNT FREAKING MATTER. YOU DONT TREAT OUR STAFF LIKE THAT HERE!”
Cheese lady: “YOU DIDNT HAVE TO FUCKING PUSH ME EITHER!!!!!”
Bob: “I NEVER LAID A HAND ON YOU! 💅👑“ (Multiple gawkers and two bussers confirmed she was full of crap)
Cheese lady: “UG! YA HUH” (paraphrased)
Then they were forced to leave and Bob let me wait on his family and they tipped me nice and I cried happy tears
☀️ THE END ☀️
Jk. There is more. They left a really annoying review on Google so that inspired me to post my experience. The owner and I were called hateful and she is still mad about the cheese. It’s my first bad review in the two and a half years I’ve worked here!
Also, Bob comped the entire meal of the poor souls that had to sit next to them and they said he did the right thing. Bob rocks!
Thanks for reading! Hope your Mother’s Day wasn’t too crazy and congrats on surviving it!!
(TLDR) Table is super mean I clap back super saiyan mode. Table gets HUGE MEAN and tries to go god tier Boss gets the final clap. Bob rocks
Edit: Sorry for formatting, I’m on mobile. I also fixed my typos but then deleted all of that and had to copy over from my notes again. Rip.

I can't stop dwelling on this. I feel like things could have been different if I hadn't done any of this and it's making me have a hard time to move on. Things seemed to be going great with him. After getting food/drinks on our 3rd date and finally having our first kiss with each other, I (25F) invited him (28M) up to my place (I wanted to make out and have a little fun. I was also drunk, I had to go home and throw up in my bathroom but I was coherent). Once we got to my place, I had to stop him in the middle of us doing stuff to tell him I don't have sex until I'm in a relationship and that I'd also need him to get an STD test for oral/blowjobs (and for sex eventually if it gets there).
I don't remember some parts well so I'm going to do my best. He said it didn't make sense to do other things but not sex BUT he was respectful and didn't push for more. We talked about past relationships/exes but there were a couple comments he made in between doing stuff that rubbed me the wrong way. Comments like "You don't think condoms are protective enough? I haven't had sex in a year and a half" (Yeah but you could still have std's..). And then something else along the lines of "what do you think is going to happen after? I'm going to get blue balls but that's okay, right?". He had said earlier that this wasn't casual for him but I didn't like the blue balls comment. Awhile later, I said "you say you don't do casual but you're willing to go all the way with me and you don't even know me yet".
He said we've been chatting 3 weeks (it had only been a week since we were meeting up though) and I was like "What's my favorite food?" (to prove my point) and he responded that he didn't see me casually and hasn't been talking to others, but he was "feeling me". Things felt super awkward and I wanted to explain myself for projecting, so a little bit later, I stopped him from leaving to talk. He was like "What do you need from me? I didn't do anything with you." After he finally sat down, I tried explaining to him that I haven't had the best dating experiences in the past (I didn't want to go in any more detail). He said this wasn't a productive convo and left after.
I reached out the next day to try and clear the air with a lighthearted text and he ended things with me right after. I wonder if things would have gone differently if I just hadn't been drunk and didn't invite him up. I also regret not telling him my boundaries beforehand. I can't let this go and I want to stop dwelling on it