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May all of your Mighty Meaty Needs be met here, fellow redditor

2008.06.18 05:02 May all of your Mighty Meaty Needs be met here, fellow redditor

[Meat + Heat + Eat = Human] This is the reddit that celebrates the greatest discovery ever made in the history of Earth: The formula that made us Human 2.5 million years ago.
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2015.04.26 02:50 Sedorner Behold, tHE MaSTeR rACe

Community dark in protest of Steve Huffman
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2008.12.09 19:12 St. Louis: Gateway to the West

/StLouis is dedicated to the news, events, and weird food of the Greater St. Louis and surrounding areas. Please check out our sidebar and wiki for a plethora of knowledge.
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2024.05.19 01:15 Gazooonga Diary of a Press-Ganged Saurian (#1/?)

Just another fun little story idea I had. I am still working on Humans are the violent ones but I like to bounce around and experiment with ideas to see what I really like. I also suck at writing more casual stories, as they give me severe writer's block as I try to map out how to make a scene feel genuine in my head, but I promise I'll update that soon. If you like this story and want to see more, then like and comment. I'll gladly continue this series as well.
Start of Personal Log
Humans don't like being told what to do. They don't like being commanded, put in their place, or snubbed. It was an inexorable, inalienable trait of humans, at least any noteable humans, to go against any authority that they believed was against their interests.
Humanity would not fit amongst the stars. Few ever did. It was a trait of most successful species to be willful, ambitious, and to desire more. But once they reached the stars the new (and simultaneously very old) pecking order either quashed any spirit such species had or simply eradicated them. Countless tomb worlds and diaspora served as painful reminders of what became of the nails that chose to stick out. The hammer of order would always strike. There could be no compromise, the very soul of the authority that held the Jurisdiction together relied on a show of unmatched power, or at least the illusion of item.
In reality, the Jurisdiction was an old, fat, and lazy beast. It filled its belly on the corpses of empires far and wide, and sated its bloodlust on the shattered dreams of hopeful cubs. It had every right to, for none could challenge it: there were no new frontiers to explore, nor were there any other enemies to conquer. The Milky Way, as humans had so strangely dubbed our cradle galaxy, as well as Andromeda, had long since been warred over and settled for millennia before humanity had arrived, bright-eyed and with familiar yet otherwise foolish dreams of cooperation and prosperity. The Jurisdiction did not cooperate, nor did it ensure prosperity. Oh, it claimed it did, but in reality it simply took. The rest was just the peace that came with not being the direct target of the biggest fish in the pond. The humans didn't like that, but they had no choice.
Slavery was a common tribute. The Jurisdiction had no use for other resources: it simply took. No, it wanted those who could facilitate that unequal exchange, those raised in a world where the only morality was the one set by your lord. The Jurisdiction was held together by expectations, obligations, and dury more than any kind of shared dream, so when you were ordered to take you did so without question. Humanity was new: they had no niche or value that set them apart, but they had a penchant for killing and taking, so the Jurisdiction gave them a taste of how the galaxy worked. They killed and they took. The humans didn't like that, but what choice did they have?
Humans were strange. They learned, but not in the way most species learned. Most species learned to adapt in a passive way, to adhere to the world around them. They flowed like water, moving past and around obstacles and confirming to the boxes they were assigned too. Humans didn't confirm, nor did they adapt: they made their circumstances fit their desires. They would not move around obstacles, but rather smash through them, and they refused to stay in one box for too long. The Jurisdiction merely saw them as a particularly loud nuisance, but those who faced their wrath knew better.
It is said that when a beast seeks to make an example, it shall humble its rival by killing it's cubs. Children were one of those universal constants that brought entire communities together: the Sok’klar saw their hatchlings as gifts, shaped by the fruitful currents of the universe in perfect harmony. The Yarrack saw each and every newborn whelp as an uncut gemstone, ready to be shaped into something magical. Humanity oftentimes referred to their offspring as angels, or spirits of unbridled good sent by the gods themselves. Children were seen by most of the galaxy as gifts.
The Jurisdiction saw them as a lever to inflict suffering. It had become quite effective at enacting psychological punishments on those that stood up and spoke out. You dare to disobey? You believe you can speak out? Your gifts shall be taken from you, and you shall be without joy.
Humans didn't like this, but the Jurisdiction would have their pound of flesh, and humankind would kneel. And they did. But humans were patient creatures: most species who retained that trait of willful spit also lacked patience.
I had long since become desensitized to the Jurisdiction’s actions: it was simply how the universe worked now, as if it were a constant akin to gravity. Cruelty was the unspoken rule of this seemingly unending age, where our lives never appeared to move forward or backwards, only lay dormant. The Jurisdiction had been the unyielding authority that ruled the galaxy for thousands of years, venerable yet feared all the same.
And for the longest time I was just another cog in its wheel. My name is Kalnuracht Sedjuur-Noumar VII, and was the scion of the noble house Sedjuur-Noumar. I was born into what most would describe as veiled apathy, living a life that could be attributed to the privileged class of feared scribes that enacted the will of those above. I was an administrator and nothing more. And now I am doomed to be far less than that in the eyes of my former constituents within the endless administration. I am the only scion, as is tradition, and without an heir I am the last of my house, our name to be scrubbed from the records, worthless, meaningless, and forgotten.
I am merely Kalnuracht, nothing else and nothing more. I have seen from their eyes, the eyes of the downtrodden, and it makes my crimes of association with the Jurisdiction feel all the more damning on my worthless soul. I am worthless to the world, and this is my story.
End Personal Log #1
Start of Neural Lace Narrative Log #1
They came from the black like carrion birds in the night, encircling our convoy as if it were a dying animal ready to be picked clean without remorse. There was no warning, no list of demands sent out as civilized peoples did, nor was there either any requirement for unconditional surrender nor chance to parlay, as was done so under letter of marque: this was an unmistakable call for violence and nothing else. They sought to reduce us to slag and scavenge the rest.
So, as one would expect, the entire bridge of the ship was nearing a panicked state. This was not the actions of those practicing civility, but rather the common behaviors of despoiling barbarians, the kind that tore their way through the dark reaches of the galaxy as if they owned it.
“Wayfinder, what do your probes see?” Shouted the ship’s sovereign. He was an older Kar’Rowmach, an amphibious cephalopod species with a venerable history within the Jurisdiction going back thousands of years. Normally one such as him would be above me if it weren't for the fact that I was under the authority of the Jurisdiction’s seal of office. He didn't like me very much, but most of his kind shared the same sentiment.
“All dark, honorable Sovereign: the sensor arrays are wailing but the feedback we're reviewing is beyond incomprehensible,” the wayfinder replied with a certain restrained temper in his voice. The Sok'klar wayfinder swayed gently, his tentacled limbs grasping different metallo-liquid braille output arrays, the liquid gallium flexing and reshaping unnaturally to allow him to to take in multiple different sources of sensory output at once, with the primary navigation computer plugged into the cybernetics surrounding his opaque, gelatinous head and plugging directly into his tube-shaped brain.
The Sovereign cursed in Loskat and pointed to his bridge crew while I simply sat in the back, near the Sovereign’s symbolic throne. “Prepare countermeasures and spool up the warp drive, we cannot allow the amanuensis to be taken! He carries sensitive information that only he can translate and transcribe!”
As the bridge crew nodded and began fiddling with their own systems, I preened my feathered hide anxiously. I wasn't a fighter: us nobles of the cloth were the educated minority above all else, not those who waged war or partook in hard labor. Special cybernetics in my brain allowed me to translate triple-encoded messages that usually took a ducal signet codekey or above to parse, but even without that I was a skilled mathematician and logician. I had terabytes worth of knowledge stored within the hardware installed in my head, all well protected of course, but if I were to die it would still be a waste. I could only imagine the damage any malcontenders could do with it if they were able to get their filthy hands on me.
Suddenly, the ship rocked, and the gallium overhead display began to form crescendos like I'd never seen before. “Sovereign, decks A-3 through C-12 are venting atmosphere and our coolant systems have been obliterated,” the Wayfinder spoke in an almost serene voice, as if he was completely unconcerned by current events. I knew they were simply incapable of tonal displays, but it was unnerving nonetheless. “Once we jump, we will not be able to risk another until the vacuum of the void can reduce temperatures to acceptable levels within the plasma capacitors.”
“Damn them,” the armored nautiloid hissed, his barbed feelers coiling in frustration, “May the currents take them. What are our options? what can we see? This fleet cannot fall to the void today, not with such vital cargo.” My hackles rose lightly at the Kar’Rowmach referred to me as some object rather than an esteemed amanuensis of the Jurisdiction, but I bit my forked tongue. Now was not the time to squabble with the sovereign over who was what and what titles I deserved, not while he was so desperately attempting to keep what semblance of order within his fleet that he had left.
I could not blame the crew for being panicked either: wars were practically mythologized now, having been long since rendered obsolete with the rise of the Jurisdiction, and that felt like an eternity ago. Now, either being levied into or joining a ducal naval force was simply another career, more akin to serving as an officer of the law rather than a fully fledged soldier. Minimal training was required, most of it being the technicals of one's duty rather than any kind of combat conditioning, so expecting a fleet to actually be prepared for a combat scenario in a universe where peace was the norm was laughable.
“We are practically blind, Sovereign,” stated the Sok'klar Wayfinder, “our probes are offline, and shipboard graviton displacement sensory arrays have been rendered unreliable at best.”
“What about the particle emission array? Has there been a spike in radioactivity where we were hit?”
The Wayfinder seemed to think for a second, his gelatinous form flexing and morphing a bit before answering. “Affirmative, a jump from negligible to forty billion becquerels along decks A through E-5 on our starboard side.”
“Torpedoes…” the Sovereign hissed, stroking his barbed feelers, “Human Torpedoes. Only those primitives would rely on crude nuclear warheads.” He then turned to his militant leaders on the ship. “Noddos, Rel’ads: organize your phalanxes and prepare to repel boarders. We are bound to be assailed by those rancorous primates, and I want their skulls piled at my feet if they dare set foot on our ship.”
“Your wish is our command, Sovereign,” the two militant commanders spoke as one. Noddos, a large bipedal with multiple sets of curved spines running down his back, a pair of graceful horns sprouting from his head, and multiple rows of sharp teeth in his snout, bowed first, followed by Rel’ads, a marsupial with long saberteeth and thick fur. They both must have been fierce warriors in their own right to each lead a phalanx. They wore thick, semi-powered armor and held dueling polearms alongside their usual plasma casters, and seemed completely unfazed by the situation we were in. As they stomped out of the brightly lit bridge, I let out a quiet squawk of discontentment. “Sovereign, why haven't we jumped again? We are wasting precious time.”
“I am working on it, you spineless beaurocrat!” He warbled back, his feelers tensing in anger, “besides, it's not as if you're the one who will be spilling blood today, amanuensis, so flatten your wretched beak or I shall weld it shut with a plasma torch.
I was about to reply with something indignant, but the ship rocked again, this time causing the lights to flicker and the air to become… thick. The skin under my feathers began to blister, and I became lightheaded and confused. “Seal the damnable vents, initiate radiation scrubbers, and activate secondary life support!” Shouted the Sovereign, “Their nuclear weapons are rendering the ship inhospitable!”
I coughed up magenta blood accidentally, and I could feel more seeping from under my eyes. Some of the crew was in a similar position, but others were more resistant to radiation than I. The Sok'klar seemed completely at ease as he ran his tentacles across his morphic braille arrays before calmly announcing the ship’s status. “I've regained some control over our probes: ten, twelve, and seventeen are active and fully functional, the rest are either still malfunctioning or permanently inoperable. A rapid rise in localized radiation is also interfering with the detection of graviton displacement; we can't sense photon redirection, thus readings will remain inconclusive.
“Wayfinder, damn you, get me some kind of out here! We're easy prey until we can respond in kind!”
“Negative, something has gone awry with our processing hub, I am attempting to troubleshoot-”
And with that, the Wayfinder’s bulbous head exploded in a cascade of opaque lavender blood, covering the front half of the deck crew like a morbid art piece. Some of the crew screamed and shouted in terror before removing their cranial adaptors and choosing to interact with their displays manually. Others died just as quickly, unable to unplug in time as their brain stems fried or their blood boiled. It was a horrible way to go, having your insides neutralized by your own cybernetics, so I was glad I wasn't connected to the system.
“Cybernetic warfare! All systems are to be considered compromised, switch to manual settings or you'll be killed!”
The lights in the bridge flickered again, and the displays went haywire. The bridge crew, which obviously weren't acquainted with working without being hard-linked into the mainframe, moved at a much slower pace.
“Launch missile pods A through F and set to self-target after five hundred kilometers, then rely on their ballistic coordinates to begin firing broadsides! If we can't see the humans due to their meddling, we'll just have to feel them.” Shouted the Sovereign, “and got me a detailed report on the ship’s diagnostics readings. I need to know if this flagship is still capable of escaping or if we'll have to scuttle it and retreat on another.”
“Acknowledged, Sovereign, launching now,” affirmed another deck officer as he swiped across his own gallium output array. I could hear the dull thunk, thunk, thunk of missiles pushing out of their pods before racing off to their intended targets, then the mechanical whirring as the pods rotated to be reloaded by slaves in the lower decks. I was regaining my bearings as the many horrible sensations of being overwhelmed by radiation poisoning were beginning to subside, but I still felt as if I had been microwaved. The air was stale, the crew was horribly sick as well, and even the sovereign himself seemed to be on his last leg. I was beginning to believe that I might die here.
“Sovereign, a message from the lower decks,” shouted a communications officer, his chitin scraping against itself as he turned quickly, “they're requesting reinforcements, something about being overrun.”
“Impossible,” the Sovereign hissed out in a vain attempt to exude confidence, “We must outnumber the humans, they always go for bigger targets out of arrogance.”
“I've received reports that it's not just humans: the primates seem to make up only a third or so of the assailing force, along with some Phaeldaer and Vrex.”
The commander slammed his clawed hands down on his own output array in a fit of rage, obviously overwhelmed by the circumstances, “Then this wasn't just a typical assault, but something more sinister!” The nautiloid warbled, blood seeping from his shell as the full effects of the radiation took hold, “Get Rel’ads on the line, have him divert all spare lances to the lower decks or else we'll lose the only offensive capabilities we can use.”
“Rel'ads has gone dark, Sovereign, his vitals are critical.”
“Then either get me Rel'ads tail-leader or get me Noddos!” He screamed in rage, “don't give me this nonsense! If we don't pick it up we're all going to die, is that what you want?”
“No, Sovereign, I'm simply overwhelmed-”
“We're all overwhelmed! By the tides, I'm dying of radiation poisoning you nincompoop! Get me something I can work with!”
The officer didn't even acknowledge the Sovereign after that, simply turning back to his display. Eventually, the Sovereign was able to get Noddos on the line.
“Sovereign, two thirds of my phalanxes have been decimated by combat with the primitives and the radiation, the rest are in shambles. We must retreat and fortify elsewhere!”
“Then the ship is compromised! Rel'ads is unresponsive and the lower decks are swarming with intruders. We must evacuate the amanuensis to another ship.”
Just as the Sovereign spoke, I heard several gentle thumps rattle against the bridge’s door, and it made me uneasy. Some of the bridge crew seemed to feel the same, as they looked incredibly nervous and some even drew their sidearms. Just as the sovereign turned to give further orders, the door blew inward with a deafening explosion, followed by shouting and gunfire. Several of the bridge officers were dispatched quickly, brain matter and blood splattering against the delicate electronics. Others were shot in the legs, the torso, or in any other exotic yet non-vital body parts. The humans poured in, brandishing primitive ballistic firearms and jury-rigged energy weapons while wearing scavenged, legion-grade powered armor.
The Sovereign was the next to go, but he wasn't afforded an honorable death. He was shot along the arm with a particularly potent plasma caster, burning off his clawed hand and cauterizing the wound, the acrid smell of roasting chitin filling the already hot and cramped bridge. He fell back against his output array, the gallium reaching new highs and lows as more diagnostics and casualty reports were delivered, and he clutched his stump angrily. “I'll burn every last one of you in the foundries! I'll tie you to stakes, cover you in wax and set you alight! Your screams will be broadcasted all over the galaxy!”
One human warrior stomped up and slammed the butt of his rifle into the sovereign’s face, shattering his facial plates and causing blue blood to splatter across his section of the bridge. “Shut the fuck up, you mutant lobster,” the human said before dragging him by both antennae towards the center of the bridge and receiving a stained breeching axe from one of his comrades. “Emmanuel, start recording. We need proof.”
The other human nodded and pressed a button on his armor before lifting up his gun again. The rest of the humans fanned out, holding everyone else at gunpoint. I tried to get up and sneak out, but a human grabbed me by my neck and nearly wrung it out as he forced me to my knees and pointed a sidearm to my skull. “Get down, you piece of shit, before I blow your brains out too.”
“Damnable primate,” I hissed, but he bashed me in my skull with the base of his sidearm’s grip and sent me sprawling, making my already pounding headache worse. Another human shouted at him in a language I didn't recognize, but he sounded furious. The first brought me back up to my knees again, and I complies with a hiss and a groan, blood still leaking from my eyes and mouth and my world was spinning.
The Sovereign struggled, but he was weak from the radiation poisoning and he couldn't exactly resist on account of his lost arm. The human with the breaching ax kicked the Sovereign down and forced him to kneel before lifting up the breeching ax and splitting his chitinous head down the middle with one powerful swing, sending more blood and brains across the floor. “Execution confirmed, take his antennae just in case and we've got ourselves a bounty. Now all we need is that ugly cat’s teeth and the fat hedgehog-thing’s grimy spines and we'll be in business. Although, they do have skulls… we might as well just take their heads.”
The real horror of the situation dawned on me at that moment: they were going to kill us all, or maybe worse. They mentioned a bounty for the commanders, and multiple of the higher ranking ship officers were already dead, their brains splattered against the walls or their bodies torn apart by gunfire. I wasn't dead yet, but that didn't mean much since I wasn't an immediate threat.
“Alright, round them up and bring all the grunts to the hanger bay, then kill the rest,” the leader of the humans said in such a lackadaisical manner that his complete disregard for life almost made me sick… almost. I had seen worse from the Jurisdiction before, but usually that was from me delivering some kind of ordered judgment on a world that had sinned against order. I might have simply been the messenger, but I had seen many of the outcomes. “And make sure to collect whatever proof of bounties you can, we'll need to deliver them to the office to get cashed out. Don't let this be a repeat of last time where Juarez fucking forgot to take a few heads and it ended up cutting our profits in half, the fucking retard.”
Some of the humans chuckled at that as they dragged more of the senior officers away, out of the room and into the hall,where I heard gunshots. The rest of the bridge crew froze in place, different fear instincts kicking in. The remaining Sok'klar corralled together into what seemed to be a singular, semi-congealed mass as if to try and trick the humans into believing that they were much bigger and much more threatening than they actually were. The one Thei’chi on the bridge, an ensign who had clearly thought this would be a simple mission, bore her curved fangs at the humans and growled as they approached, her hackles completely vertical and her eyes dilated. They quickly muzzled and bound her before beating her over the head with a gun stock, sending her sprawling onto the ground. Many others simply cooperated, eyes wide and yet simultaneously empty, as if they couldn't quite process that the ship had been taken and the commanding officers were being executed as the rest were escorted to the hangar.
“Get the damn messenger down to the hanger as well, we need whatever data's in his ugly lizard head, then we can decide on what to do with him.”
I spat at him in spite, as if to try and seem brave, but it was clearly an empty gesture. “You won't get anything, primate! You couldn't possibly crack the encryption!”
The human holding me seemed to wind up for another swing, but the commanding officer simply held up his hand to stop my tormentor before strolling over to me. He knelt down and removed his helmet, revealing a beige-colored face covered in scars, wiry black hair cut down to the scalp, and multiple tattoos. “You're really fucking mouthy for a hostage,” he said before punching me across my beak faster than I could register. I heard a sharp crack as his fist connected, and my head spun again as the metallic taste of blood pooled into my mouth. “I'd advise you to shut up, but I'm sure you won't listen: you aristocratic types are so full of yourselves. Maybe I should have you flogged in the public square until your vocal chords give out once we rip those cybernetics from your head, huh? How's that sound?”
“It won't matter… it won't change anything… the Jurisdiction will hunt you down.”
“Maybe, but I doubt it will happen for some time: they really suck at doing anything that requires effort, even when they're mad enough. They just keep sending their rabid lapdogs to try and smoke us out, and they always end up full of holes,” the human officer said with a smirk, his yellowish-white teeth and green eyes sending shivers down my spine as he drew his knife. “They're just horrible at their job, you know? You've all gotten so lazy and incompetent after being able to just take what you want without resistance, and now that you've met people who are angry and crazy enough to fight back you act as if we're committing some grave injustice,” he placed the knife against my throat, the flat just underneath my now bent beak, “No, we just took a few pages out of your book, ‘cept we've got standards. No kids, for one…” he seemed to look off into the distance as his sneer deepened, “but it's more than that, we don't attack the defenseless in general and we still win against you all in fair fights.”
I went to say something else snarky, but he quickly grabbed my thin tongue with his fingers and yanked it out, blood from my mouth pulling to the floor as he held the blade of his knife against it. “No no, none of that. Say one more thing and I'll cut that rancid little tongue of yours out of your mouth and feed it to you,” he hissed at me, pressing the blade down just hard enough to draw blood. “Do you know what it's like to see a planet turn into a tomb?" he asked me, gritting his teeth, “Do you know what it's like to see everything you've ever known crumble to ash and glass, all the life and the green stripped away leaving nothing but bones? I do. I've seen it happen to countless worlds, and my grandfather always told me stories of how you bastards did it to Earth. He still prays in its direction five times a day, to Mecca, but he knows the Kaaba is gone now, or maybe it's still there, buried in the bones of those who sought refuge there.”
I didn't care for the human’s nonsensical beliefs, but I did care to correct him. “I've seen it before, and I'll see it again. And so will you, it's inevitable. The Jurisdiction will always have its judgment fulfilled, there is no alternative.”
“One day, I hope we can rectify that,” he said, then he sheathed his knife and slammed my head against the metal floor with enough force to nearly knock me out. As I lost consciousness, I could hear him speak. “Take him to the Chop Doc, and make sure the cybernetics don't get damaged: they're supposedly more valuable than any bounty on this ship.”
Warning: Severe radiation poisoning detected. Flush system immediately.
Warning: Neural Lace removal detected, chance of neurological damage high. Proceeded with caution.
submitted by Gazooonga to HFY [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 01:08 PScratchy Apartment building alarm system seems frighteningly delayed

I’m sorry if this is the wrong place to ask this, but I’d love some advice. I live in a 16 storey apartment building. An alarm went off at 2am last night and by the time I’d bundled my disabled mother in law, partner and dogs out the door (3 minutes) the alarm stopped and people were advising that the firefighters had just cleared everyone to go back in and left. “How could this be?” I asked. Surely that would be record time?
Turns out, the building staggers the alarm per floor to avoid everyone evacuating en masse and “to keep everyone evacuating safely”. However, this means that the alarm originally sounded at least 10-15 minutes, possibly more, before we heard it on the 7th floor. I have no idea if other floors heard it at all. I know there was a previous alarm in the middle of the day, and we waited outside for 20 minutes before being given the okay to head back in. A friend of mine on the 15th floor said his wife and children were home but never heard an alarm and never evacuated.
Given that this is a choice the powers that be within the building seem to have deliberately made, I find that I’d really like to approach them with proof of how quickly a fire can become catastrophic in an apartment building. I’ve tried googling, but I can’t find anything clear cut. If there was a fire, say some idiot had a pot of oil on fire, tried to carry it to the bathroom, and spread it across their apartment, or someone fell asleep smoking (something I personally experienced from a neighbour in our granny flat when I was a small child), how long would other floors have to be able to safely evacuate before it could potentially become dangerous and/or impossible?
TIA for your advice and thank you all for the incredible work that you do.
submitted by PScratchy to Firefighting [link] [comments]

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submitted by ryanmark234 to nursinghelp2024 [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 00:34 John_Smith_4724 Online Nursing Exam Help Reddit Nursing Exam Taker Reddit Nursing Class Help Reddit do my nursing Class Reddit Nursing Assignment Help Reddit Nursing Homework Helper Reddit Nursing course Help Reddit Take my Nursing Course Reddit Nursing Test Quiz Help Reddit Hire Expert Reddit

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submitted by John_Smith_4724 to nursinghelp2024 [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 00:11 Dear-Cockroach-6979 Wouldn’t mind some advice…

(Sorry, it’s kinda long)
Hey everyone,
A bit about me: I grew up in a toxic household with an alcoholic abusive single mother. She had anywhere from 15-20 stray cats in our home that she spoiled and loved more than me. She sure made that clear! My father left me and my mother when I was two years old and he never came back. I was put into the California foster care system at age 13 due to my mother being reported multiple times by my junior high school counselor. From there I went to several mental hospitals, lockdown facilities and group homes up to my 18th birthday. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and major depressive disorder back in my adolescent years. I haven’t been evaluated as an adult but I’m sure I would be diagnosed with MDD if I were.
I have spent almost my entire adult life doing nothing with myself. I spent a lot of time early on sleeping in my car and showering at my friends houses. My grandma in Arizona helped me out a great deal and let me stay with her and find work, and I was proud of myself although I was working a menial janitorial job at a casino. I’m pretty tech savvy and skilled with automotive repair but I never pursued further education. When my grandma passed away in 2007 I got severely depressed but I managed to get a place to live with roommates and held down a full time job, again at a casino doing janitorial work. Developed a gambling addiction and an alcohol addiction. Got a DUI in 2008 and that started my legal troubles. Lost my place and lost my job.
I slept in my car and worked at casinos doing menial work again. Met a woman at one of the jobs and got married April 2010. She had a few kids with a bunch of baby daddy drama, and I couldn’t deal with it so I just walked away and the divorce was finalized by the end of the year. I stopped drinking after that. From there I kept working until 2011, when I decided to quit my job, take my old Subaru XT and hit the road. Went all over the southwest US sleeping in the car and exploring, got a few tickets for no insurance, got my license suspended for said tickets and also for not paying my payments on the DUI. I got to Albuquerque NM and my car finally croaked on me. Transmission failure. Slept in it for a week or so in a mini-mall parking lot until the cops were called on me and unsurprisingly took my car. I was officially a street person at age 26.
I spent several years hitchhiking, panhandling, dumpster diving, hopping freight trains and finding spots to sleep or camp wherever I could. I was so depressed that I didn’t take very good care of myself and had no desire whatsoever to try to better myself and dig out of the hole I got myself into. I used to call myself an urban survivalist. I remained in this state of mind until late 2022 when dental problems nearly killed me. I finally found a place to stay in Nevada with a lady I called a foster mother but I had a very hard time getting used to being housed. I got all my teeth yanked and a set of dentures thanks to Nevada Medicaid. I got a job at a car wash for six months but gave up the job due to stress at home and workplace nepotism. I even got a few credit cards and got my score up to 719! Anyhow, foster mother was an alcoholic, she started to remind me of my biological mother and I couldn’t stand it anymore. I had a few thousand dollars saved up and moved back to Arizona a couple of months ago.
I am currently at a weekly motel and have been attempting to find any work I can. Managed to get interviews for dishwasher jobs, housekeeping jobs, janitorial jobs and night crew at a grocery store. Haven’t heard back from any of them though. I have half of my savings left and it seems inevitable that I’ll run out of money pretty soon.
I have a good feeling that the ridiculously long gap of employment looks terrible on my resume and that may be a reason I’m not getting anything. I mean, what do I tell the interviewer, that I was a damn bum?
I like to think I’m pretty smart. I was disassembling and reassembling IBM PC’s before I hit puberty. I was the computer technician for my high school back in the Windows XP era. Once I started driving I began teaching myself automotive repair with Chilton and Haynes manuals along with plenty of trial and error. It blew people’s minds when I, a dirty bum, helped get their car back on the road if I noticed they needed assistance. I helped a man I met at a park and did an engine swap on his Nissan Xterra over a couple weekends in exchange for new camping gear.
I can’t get work as a mechanic or do any driving related jobs unless I get my license back and it would take a LOT of money to get it back. On top of that I have to have an ignition interlock in any vehicle I drive. I wouldn’t mind getting into computer repair but I don’t have the certification to do so, and I’ve been out of the loop for a long time. I have a MacBook Air M1 and wish I could learn a way to make money with it like some sort of remote job but that seems impossible to me at this point.
For the record, I still don’t drink and I’ve never done a hard drug in my life. I haven’t smoked weed in months so I am able to pass a drug test if I were hired somewhere. Also, I have no felonies whatsoever on my record. Some people like to be stereotypical so I figured I’d throw that out there.
I guess what I’m asking is what should I do at this point? What path would you take if you were in my shoes? I won’t lie, suicide has been on my mind a lot lately. I don’t have many friends and I don’t have any family to talk to. I don’t like being a burden on anyone. Should I just accept that I’m gonna probably be homeless again, possibly for the rest of my life? Is there anywhere in the US that I could possibly get back on my feet with some sort of labor work and a place to sleep? I’d move anywhere if I knew I had a shot. Am I a lost cause at age 38? I’d love to hear some ideas!
submitted by Dear-Cockroach-6979 to depression [link] [comments]

2024.05.18 23:51 CDown01 Eagles Peak Pt.4

Previous Part
Morning eventually came, banishing the eyes that seemed to peer at me through the night. It was strange how suddenly the feeling left me, making me think that someone really was watching me. The whole thing was really doing wonders for my paranoia. Despite the rough morning and sleepless night, I still found myself waiting outside Bianca’s house bright and early that morning. The air was cool but not chilly, one of those perfect days that’s cold enough you’ll never start sweating unless you really try, but warm enough that a T-shirt will get you through without too much trouble.
I only had to knock once before Bianca threw open the door.
“Where you just waiting there for me?”
I asked, cracking a smile and raising an eyebrow.
“You’ll never know” she added playfully, “Are we ready to go then?”
Bianca had made some preparations for the trip, she didn’t have a backpack ready to go but she definitely made an effort to dress the part… sort of. She was wearing an old grey combat jacket that I imagine she pulled out of Stein’s closet. The jacket was way to big for her but she made it work. Her combat boots matched the jacket, looking old and well worn. What didn’t match was the bright red yoga pants she was wearing, but I wasn’t about to complain. Besides, I had packed each of us a spare set of clothes just in case.
“Oh! So I had an idea, its a long walk, not crazy but I’d rather not just walk the whole way if we can help it. Frank and Stein used to have some bicycles when we first came here so I asked them about it and well.”
Bianca chirped, as she led me around the back of the house and pulled a tarp off two abysmal looking bicycles. The bikes were both red at one point but that was a long time ago. Now they were covered in a layer of rust and I could barely make out the branding that may have once read, “Shwinn”.
“Um… Bianca I think I might get tetanus if I sit on that thing.”
“Oh come on! Aren’t you tired of walking everywhere? Lets just give the bikes a shot, if they crumble to dust we can leave them.”
“And get me a tetanus shot.”
I added quickly
“Fine, and get you a tetanus shot.”
Bianca shot back, she feigned annoyance but she couldn’t hide the smile that crossed her face.
Laughing to ourselves, we got on the bikes and took off North, out of town and onto a dirt path leading to the woods. Bianca didn’t say much on the way out but I could tell she was having a good time. This may have been her first time out of the house for something other than supervising Frank and Stein. She tried to hide it by riding fast and staying out in front of me, but I could still catch her eyes literally glowing with happiness every now and then. I thought back to what Frank had said about her eyes glowing when she experiences strong emotion. I hoped that was the case and she wasn’t just trying really hard to influence me, which he had also said would make her eyes glow.
As we neared the end of the path, the forest’s edge came into view. we let the bikes roll to a stop then got off and let them fall over onto the dirt. I half expected them to explode into a puff of rusty brown dust the second they touched the ground but to my surprise, neither bike did. I could’ve swore I heard Bianca sniffle almost like she’d been crying. I opened my mouth to say something and then thought better of it, if she wanted to tell me what was going on she would. Well, that or she’d just manipulate me away from the question. Wait, was she doing that now? It’s hard to tell, maybe that’s how everyone around her feels. The more I thought about it the more I realized how difficult it must be for her just to have friends or form relationships with people at all. If she told them the truth they’d never know if what they were feeling around her at any given moment was real. All they’d have to go on would be her word, could they really trust that, could I? If she kept her secret she’d know that at any moment she could just change how they felt about her, manipulate them into anything she wanted. Could she resist that kind of power over them and still look someone in the eyes and say she was their friend. Not to mention how hard it would be to keep that secret over years of knowing someone.
“So Keith, were exactly are we headed? You do have some Idea where this mine you’re looking for is right?”
Bianca asked skeptically, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Well about that…. I just know its out here in the forest somewhere. That’s pretty much all I have to go on from Frank, Stein, and that massive bartender in town.”
I told her sheepishly.
“Well that explains why you over-packed so much then. Seriously? How long do you think we we’re going to be out here, you’re packed like some kind of survivalist.”
She mocked, picking through the pack I’d made for her. After she finished rooting through the pack I made for her like some kind of giant squirrel and, chastised me yet again for not doing more research on the mine, we set off.
The forest felt imposing as we walked into the woods through a manicured patch of trees. Someone had gone to great lengths to braid a few trees over this little path before the forest turned back into its natural wild state. It gave off the feeling that civilization ended with this path and something else entirely began. As we got off the path our light faded quickly, chocked out by the limbs of massive pine trees. All this cover meant there was very little foliage on the ground which was covered in a blanket of needles. The though occurred to me that we were looking for a mine in a valley. That’s weird because what exactly would be in a valley that warranted the creation of a mine? Usually you’ll find them in mountains so what exactly was one doing out here.
“Bianca I just had a thought, Why would they build a mine out here? I mean what’s the point, is there even anything valuable out here to mine?”
“Yeah, come to think of it your right. What other reason would there be to have a mine out here?”
“Unless they were just mining from a cave but that still doesn’t answer the question of what they were…”
Bianca cut me off
“What was that first thing you said?”
“Um… mining from a cave?”
A lightbulb went off over her head as she exclaimed,
“That’s it! There’s caves under the town, I’ve heard Frank talk about them before! Maybe they didn’t have a real mine so they were just mining something out of the caves.”
“Not to burst your bubble Bianca, but that still doesn’t get us any closer to these caves or mines or whatever it is.”
I responded cautiously, trying not to sound to critical of her revelation.
“Well not exactly, Frank said they were in the East of the forest somewhere so all we have to do is head East till we run into them.”
Bianca said, full of confidence. Then something occurred to me, we had no real way of getting back to the bikes other than retracing our steps. Now that was easy enough now, if we went deeper into the woods we would get lost pretty quickly.
“One more thing Bianca, Maybe we should come up with a way to find our way out? I really don’t want to end up lost out here.”
I asked nervously, fidgeting with my hands.
“Way ahead of you on that one, I left my phone back by the bikes. Here give me yours and I’ll put my number in so you can track it and find our way back.”
She said, taking my phone, putting her number into it, and turning it to me to show she’d tracked her own phones location with it, giving us a path back to the bikes.
As we turned East and headed even deeper into the forest the terrain started to change. Instead of the pine needle coating we started to see rocks and the ground was more rugged. Here and there we’d even pass a boulder or two. I decided to break the silence of our search.
“So are you ever going to tell me how you met Frank and Stein?”
Bianca sighed before responding.
“I suppose you deserve to know if your sticking around. You probably guessed I wasn’t always living with them. Lets just say before that I was with someone who I though meant the world to me but I never meant the same to him. It was all a game to him and eventually I noticed that. Then, a little while afterwards I realized I wasn’t exactly powerless anymore and I did some things that I’m not exactly proud of to survive on my own.”
I could tell talking about this hurt her but I needed more.
“That’s not exactly telling me a whole lot Bianca.”
I pressed, maybe a little to hard.
“I found out I had powers and I used them ok! I got myself out of a situation where I was pulled so many way I didn’t know which direction was up! The second I found out I could do the same thing to people myself, I did! You’re the first person to actually seem to give a shit that wasn’t some crazy doctor that tolerates my existence or someone I just manipulated into caring! Maybe I even did that with you! I JUST DON’T KNOW ANYMORE!”
Bianca screamed at me, getting in my face with tears beginning to run down her own. Her eyes were glowing electric blue again and I knew I’d crossed a line.
“Hey I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you. I… I didn’t know.”
“No.. you didn’t but I guess you should”
Bianca sniffled out, trying desperately to pull herself back together and keep up the act the everything was ok. Bianca went silent for a while as we kept walking along, crying to herself before she finally took a deep breath and said,
“You know, this is the first time someone’s asked me to come along and do something outside the house in years. I spend so much time cooped up in there just helping with experiments and looking after Rocco. It’s actually nice to get out and talk for once.”
Her voice still a lifts hoarse from screaming at me before.
“Look if you want to talk about it we’ve got nothing but time out here. I’d like to know a bit more about you anyways.”
I said taking her hand and trying to sound comforting.
“Yeah maybe I should get some of it off my chest. Here it goes I guess.”
Bianca said, taking a deep breath and tightening her grip on my hand. Her eyes still glowed faintly as she told me her story as we ventured deeper into the forest.
I’ll give you the shorter version of it here, mostly cause I’m not sure how she’d feel about me spoiling all her secrets.. She ran away from her family and her college education for a guy, his name was Brooke. Brooke was from money and had a job lined up by his family at a law firm so Bianca thought she was set for life with him. Bianca was madly in love with him at the time but as days grew into months and years, Brooke became a monster. He cheated on her and told her she wasn’t enough, that her shortcomings drove him to do it over and over again and somehow it was all her fault every time. He became abusive not long after the cheating started, flying into fits of hysteric apology afterwards only further convincing Bianca she was somehow at fault. After three years of this she eventually got up the courage to leave and never looked back. On the road she discovered her powers of manipulation, letting her play with people’s emotions and she only got better at it with time. Unfortunately her abilities got her into a very specific form of getting money out of people, prostitution. One day she tried to solicit Stein and he saw straight through her. Stein took her with him to the hotel he and Frank were staying at and they took her in on the spot. The trio traveled together ever since, Bianca becoming a kind of daughter to them.
I was in shock once she finished her story, it sounded like she’d really been through the ringer.“I don’t know what to say, that’s awful, all of it.”
“It was, I lived it. But I made it through, doesn’t matter how at the end of the day. I’ve got Frank and Stein and that’s enough, they let me into their home and I recovered in my own way, I’m still here so I’ll take what I can get right?”
Bianca stated with a cold loom of determination on her face. It was painfully obvious to me that despite the masquerade of being fine she was barley holding it together underneath. Like just talking about it with me was driving a finger into old wounds.
“At least you’ll never have to go through something like that again. With your abilities you never have to get pushed around like that.”
I said with completely no tact whatsoever. Bianca stopped suddenly as I said this and whirled around to face me. The fire I’d seen in her eyes earlier reigniting in seconds.
“Do you really think that’s all this is?! I’m no better than him, even you don’t know what you really think when you look at me! Admit ti!”
Bianca growled at me, hysterical once again.
“No, Bianca I…”
“Look I know your trying to help but just leave it, ok? I’m done talking about this”
She cut me off, pulling herself back together and signaling very clearly we were done with that particular conversation.
“Besides look over there, That hole in the rock see it? That might be what we’re looking for.”
Bianca said, gesturing to the stone wall that now jutted out of the ground beside us.
The rock wall she pointed out was chipped near the middle in a way that couldn’t have been natural. Straight lines don’t really exist in nature and this hole was cut squarely into this rock wall. As we got closer I could see that it wasn’t just an entrance either. The hole opened into the rock wall but then suddenly dropped, like whoever carved it had hit a point where the ground just fell out from under them. From where Bianca and I were looking into the hole we couldn’t quite see the bottom.
“Well we found what we were looking for, is this bringing back any memories from those dreams you had?”
Bianca asked, sounding a little short tempered still as I searched through my bag.
“What are you looking for in there?”
“Rope, I’ve got to see what’s in there and I’m hoping I brought enough to climb down there.”
I replied hurriedly, still tearing apart my bag to get to the rope I had packed underneath everything else.
“Rope? you’re not seriously going to climb down that pit are you? I can barely see down there.”
Bianca complained, sounding exasperated.
“Here, this should help you see down there.”
I said, tossing her one of the two head mounted flashlights I brought along.
“ME? I never said we were going down there!”
Bianca panicked momentarily.
“Look, you can stay up here and wait for me if you really don’t want to go down there. But I would appreciate having you to watch my back.”
I added trying to soften her up. Bianca opened her mouth like she was going to say something but stopped, instead dropping her own pack to the ground and searching through it.
“Look if I’m going down there I’m going to need something better than yoga pants on and…. You actually packed a change of clothes in here. Geez you really did think of everything.”
As Bianca took the jeans I packed and went off to find somewhere to change I finally found the rope. It was about 50 feet of strong climbing rope that I kept for an occasion just like this. Now that’s not to say I was a professional climber by any means but a 20 or 30 foot rappel I should be able to do. I was hoping that the descent wasn’t much further than that. I anchored the rope to a tree a little ways away from the hole in the rock face and tossed the rope down the hole. It hit the bottom with a satisfying thud just as Bianca got back from changing. The jeans I had packed were a little big on her but she’d manage. She looked like a mess in her ancient combat boot and jacket, all of which were too big for her. I tried to open my mouth to tell her she looked nice, I swear I really did but what came out was hyena-like laughter at her appearance.
“I…. Oh god I’m…. It’s just”
I struggled to get out, laughing all the while.
“Well I’m glad you like it at least, ok seriously come on, stop laughing.”
Bianca scolded as she began giggling herself. Soon enough we were both laughing, Bianca’s earlier storminess cleared up by the absurdity of the situation.
Here we were, a succubus and a guy with a strange mark out in the woods getting ready to rappel into a hole in the ground that apparently didn’t exist. All this was almost starting to feel… I’m not really sure how to put it, not normal but not so strange. Honestly I finally felt like I’d found some kind of purpose again out here. As weird as it all was I was starting to enjoy… this, this whole odd situation I’d found myself in. Bianca and I finally got ahold of the laughter and stood back up from our place on the ground.
“Do I really look that bad?”
She asked
“I’ve never heard you complain about your looks before. But no, with those jeans on you look like maybe, just maybe you prepared a little bit for coming out here.”
I teased, getting a little wry grin out of her.
“Come on, lets get going. Hopefully we can be in and out of there pretty quickly.”
I said, handing Bianca her pack and shouldering my own.
Rappelling in wasn’t actually all that hard, really dangerous without safety equipment sure, but neither of us had any trouble descending the maybe 20 foot drop. At the bottom I saw something that shocked me, this place wasn’t abandoned. I saw lighting set up, not on but very clearly set up recently. Bits of old mining equipment were scattered around the… cave? Mine? Im not really sure what to call it anymore. What concerned me more than anything was the light I saw at the far end of the cave (I’m settling on calling it a cave). The light came from a massive bonfire and I could just make out the shadows of several people sitting around it. I have no idea how we didn’t see the smoke on our way in. It wasn’t filling the cave but it also wasn’t coming out from anywhere I saw on the way here.
“Bianca get down!”
I whisper shouted at her, turning off my headlamp and falling flat to the ground myself. Bianca dropped to the ground as she heard me with unexpected grace. I didn’t know if those figures by the fire had seen us but I certainly wasn’t taking chances.
“Ok, I’m going to creep up and see if I can hear them talking or something. Can you just stay here and watch my back? I don’t want you getting any closer than you have to.”
I instructed Bianca who answered with a quick nod and reached into the inner pocket of her jacket. She withdrew a jeweled golden dagger from it.
“I sorry, what’s this now?”
I asked, confused and thrown off guard by the weapon. It was a really beautiful blade, the hilt was silver with several purple gems inlaid in it. The blade was golden save for the razor sharp edge which was some kind of strange blue material that was roughly the same color Blanca’s eyes glowed.
“I had a life before this you know.”
Bianca responded.
“Yeah we talked about it but you didn’t really tell me much about this part apparently. Doesn’t matter I guess just surprised you have Jeff Bezos’s butter knife in your jacket pocket.”
I whispered, pointing at the dagger in her hand.
“Well we can talk more about how I ended up with this later, not really the time now. Just be careful ok.”
I got up as she said this, realizing she was right. Now really wasn’t the time to be asking about strange daggers, I had more pressing issues.
I crouched down and started creeping towards the figures by the bonfire, careful to avoid the rusty machinery bits scattered across the ground. As I got closer I saw a passage I had missed in the dark. I dared to turn my headlamp on for just a second, trying to block out most of the light with my hand. What I saw through the dim light and shadows of my finger left me awestruck. Inside the passage a coliseum had been constructed, with seats carved into the stone. The structure itself was made up of the rusted metal pieces that littered the room, collected and smelted together to form the walls of the structure. What frightened me the most was the symbol clearly and meticulously drawn on the dirt floor, the same symbol that adorned my back, the symbol of the thunderbird. Moving on, more shaken than ever I crept closer still to the roaring bonfire. I could just about make out the words the figures were saying. When I got close enough to make out the word “tests” the fire suddenly went out with a gust of wind.The room temperature must have dropped 10 degrees immediately and I could swear I heard the sounds of heavy rain above us. But the sudden lack of light isn’t what rooted me in place, cowering on the cave floor. What did that was the two illuminated grey eyes that pierced through the darkness like lightning in a storm, eyes I would never forget, the eyes of the woman from Imalone.
This time I clearly heard the voices of the figures from around the bonfire as they all dropped to their knees.
“Shaoni! We weren’t expecting you till later, Stormcaller.”
The figures all said some variation of in unison. Their tone sounding almost as though they were begging for forgiveness. In a voice that hissed like rain on pavement the woman apparently named Shaoni spoke.
“I’ve come to oversee the start of the trials, is everything prepared?”
In one bone chilling moment her eyes locked on mine and she said the one thing I’d hoped she wouldn’t.
“You didn’t tell me we had guests.”
The moment the words left her lips I turned back to where Bianca was waiting, her now glowing eyes cutting through the darkness of the cave. Giving up any form of subtly, I bolted for the rope behind Bianca. I just wanted to be out of this cave, whatever I might learn from searching around was far outweighed by the fact that Shaoni was here. I’d seen the kind of destruction she’d left in her wake in Imalone and I had no desire to see it happen again here. I banged my ankle on several of the little bits of rusty metal on the floor as I ran, sending sparks of pain up my leg. I didn’t hear anything behind me at all which was almost more unnerving than the footsteps I expected to hear. I closed in on Bianca and saw she hadn’t moved at all, her eyes fixed on something behind me. I dared to take a quick glance back over my shoulder and saw Shaoni taking her first step away from the extinguished bonfire. Lightning crackled around her like one of those novelty plasma globes. In the flashes of light I could see her face. There was no smile or frown, no emotion at all. She simply stared straight ahead towards me and took slow calm steps, inching ever closer.
“Bianca we’ve got to go… NOW!”
I shouted, snapping her to attention. She nodded and turned on her heels, back toward the rope we’d thrown in earlier. Only, when we got to the rope and gave it a tug, it came falling back toward us.
“There’s no way. I…I anchored it to that tree, it should’ve held!”
I cried in disbelief. Bianca and I starred up at the now stormy sky through the hole we would’ve escaped from. Two men walked into view on either side of the hole, glowering down at us. I notice a marking on one of the men’s hands in a flash of lightning from the storm. I could only assume if I was able to make it out I would’ve seen a marking just like the one on my back. Just as soon as the men had appeared a shape flew in from the left with a low growl, taking both men along with it.
“Ok, new plan! There’s something else up there and I really don’t want to get involved with… whatever that was either. I didn’t see any footprints near the entrance so I’m assuming those guys we saw by the bonfire got in another way. We’re just going to have to find where that was and get out that way.”
I instructed Bianca, gesturing to the men in toe with Shaoni and trying not to sound as afraid as I was.
“Ok, I’m with you but lets get moving, I don’t want to any closer to her than I have to be.”
Bianca answered, putting her hand on my shoulder. I suddenly felt a wave of calm rush over me and for the second time I was grateful for Bianca’s ability to simply turn off my fear response.
Shaoni now stood about 50 feet from us with four men following behind her. In the light she gave off I could see the men were all dressed like normal people. I kind of figured they would be more of those canvas wrapped weirdos from Imalone but no. There stood four men in jeans and flannels standing there. Shaoni looked like she could’ve stepped right out of a painting of Pocahontas. She wore an animal hide dress with frills along the bottom and arms. Her head was adorned with a leather band containing several hawk feathers. In short she looked like she’d stepped out of a different time. But I had no time to look over the finer details of her clothing as Bianca and I rushed towards her. Once we got within striking distance I pulled Bianca to the left, towards the passage I had seen earlier. Shaoni never made a move towards us, she just simply looked at me, the ghost of a smile briefly crossing her lips. One of the men with her grabbed at Bianca though, pulling her out of my grasp momentarily. That was a mistake because she was on him immediately with the ornate dagger I’d seen before. As the man grabbed her Bianca lashed out with the dagger, sticking him in the gut with the blade. He screamed in anguish and let go of her but Bianca wasn’t done yet. She followed up by stabbing the man in the back of the neck as he bent over, grabbing at the hole in his abdomen. The other three men were so taken aback by the sudden ferocity she displayed that they didn’t come any closer. As time stood still for a second the men all looked toward Shaoni, awaiting instructions but hesitant to get any closer to Bianca. Using the brief moment of disbelief Bianca had caused, we ran down the side passage towards the coliseum.
“What was that?”
I asked, still shocked by how suddenly Bianca had acted.
“He tried to grab me, I don’t like when they try to grab me”
Bianca responded, distant and… scared? I got the sense she was still in shock at what she had done too. But I couldn’t worry about that right now, we still had to get out of here. Luckily the men didn’t seem to be following us. Wether Shaoni called them off or they stopped to care for their friend I didn’t know, and frankly I didn’t care.
Rushing through the rusty coliseum was haunting. I expected something to jump out of every shadow in the imposing structure. As we slowed to a jog in the middle of the coliseum, right where that eagle symbol was, we stopped to look around. We had come into this arena through an open arch but the only other exit I could see was a similar but barred archway. The coliseum was huge for something constructed in a cave, probably 400 feet across. I had no idea how this thing could’ve been made without anybody finding out.
“Bianca are you seeing anyway out of here? Bianca!”
I asked, then shouted as I turned to see her standing still as a statue in the middle of the Eagle symbol. She was staring at the dagger she had stabbed that man with. Blood still stained the blade and dripped from it intermittently.
“Bianca are you alright?”
I questioned as I walked over to her. She still had this look in her eyes, like she was miles away.
“Bianca? Come on talk to me. Look, you did what you had to do back there, sure it wasn’t exactly pretty but it had to be done.”
I tried to comfort her with my words but the truth is, my heart just wasn’t in it. I was a little scared of what I saw from her in those few moments. She just lashed out and attacked him, not that he didn’t deserve it but going back for more was too much. But what would’ve happened if she didn’t act? It’s not something I could really dwell on now and I’m not sure it really mattered. I just wasn’t feeling all that great about the fact we may have killed someone.
“I don’t like it when they grab me.”
Bianca finally repeated, still appearing catatonic. I leaned down to her level, putting my face right in-front of her’s and putting her head in between my hands.
“Bianca I know enough to know that whole situation may have dug up some memories for you but nows really not the time. We have to keep moving, we have to find a way out of here, and I can’t do that without you right now.”
Bianca tensed up as I spoke to her, but I could feel her relax as I finished. A single tear fell from her eye as she gave me a nod and followed behind me as I walked toward the barred off archway.
Before I made it to the archway there was a massive crash as something tore the rusty bars from their mountings and fell into the room.
“Tuck?!”
I exclaimed, recognizing his colossal figure on the floor immediately. His shirt and pants were torn to shreds though, Like he’d flexed too hard and burst out of his clothes. Bianca and I rushed over to check on him but apparently he was fine. Before we even started walking towards him he was already back up on his feet and lumbering towards us.
“Tuck what are you doing here? Actually never mind, are you ok?”
I asked, concern in my voice.
“It’s going to take more than this to stop me son. I figured you might go looking for that old mine I mentioned the other night so I came to find you. I feel real bad about ya run’in off the way ya did and I got to thinking. Maybe I could make it up to ya if I told ya about the mine. So I came out here and found some shady look’in fellas poking around and figured maybe ya needed help, looks like I was right.”
Tuck explained, dusting himself off and brushing away some of the tattered remains of his shirt. I didn’t buy his story for a second but I wasn’t going to argue with this bear of a man.
“So how did you get in anyway?”
“Used the old entrance from back when this place was still run’in, come on I’ll lead ya out.”
Tuck answered, already turning and walking back the way he came.
The walk out was long and none of us talked much so I just looked around. The further we walked down this little tunnel the more I noticed crushed equipment. The walls looked like they were made up of bits and pieces of crumbled rock that may have once been the ceiling of a much bigger tunnel here.
“There was a collapse, just like the report said only, whatever caused it wasn’t any fault of ours. It was that damn thunderbird waking up.”
Tuck piped up, answering one question and making me ask another.
“Wait you knew about her?!”
“All the miners did, some decided to follow her after she woke up and brought the walls down on us. Others wanted revenge for the brothers we lost, I’m one of the former. You see son, the reason I stayed around this town so long was because of that bird. I want a chance to return the favor.”
“But what about Robert? If you hate the thunderbird so much why’d you let him in? You had to see that tattoo on his hand.”
“I know he thinks that damned bird will “save” him or something but I don’t blame him. Everyone deals with things in their own way and it’s not my place to judge folk for it.”
Tuck lectured, as we made our way further down the passage. His words made sense to me but I didn’t understand how he could be so understanding. From what I understood the thunderbird had a part to play in the original mine’s collapse and the death of the workers there. Only for some of the survivors to revere this creature. If I were in Tuck’s shoes I don’t think I could forgive and forget.
Finally we saw light at the end of the tunnel. We emerged into the whispers of what I’m sure was a monster of a storm. But that’s not what drew my attention, what did were the boulders scattered around the hole we just came out of. It looked like they had been moved, and recently. The suspicious red stain just barley peaking out from the bottom of one of them only served to convince me further. Tuck’s story didn’t quite make sense and this entrance seemed like it should’ve been blocked up until very recently. I wasn’t about to question the guy who saved us though, so I let the issue rest.
Bianca’s idea of tracking her phone to find our way to the bikes worked like a charm. We followed the directions my phone spit at us and eventually found our way back to the bikes. Tuck’s old Ford Bronco sat behind our bikes leaving me to question if he followed us on our way here.
“Well do you kids want a ride back to town?”
Tuck asked, his voice bellowing across the forest. Seriously it was like the guy swallowed a loudspeaker at some point and just spoke through it now.
“No we’ll find our own way back.”
“Alrighty then, stay safe son.”
Tuck called back to me as he got into his truck and drove off. Bianca and I stood up our bikes and got ready to head back to town.
“Hey Keith?”
“Yeah what is it Bianca?”
“Next time you offer to bring me along somewhere can you warn me about the damn thunderbird that seems to just show up around you.”
I laughed at this, it was nice to see Bianca joking around again. After what happened in the caves she seemed like someone else, none of her usual cheeriness was there. Not that I knew if that was what she wanted me to see from her or how she actually presented herself but still. I trusted her enough at this point to assume she wasn’t using her abilities to mess with my head.
When we got back to Bianca’s house the sun was just beginning to set, washing the town in shades of purple, orange, and red. We walked the bikes around to their place behind the house and I walked Bianca back to the front door.
“Thanks for today Keith,I don’t… get out very much anymore and it was… nice… to do something other than sit around the house for once. You know, despite everything that happened it was actually fun.”
I was taken aback by her words at first. If it was me I’d immediately want nothing to do with this person who just put me in danger.
“You had fun? The thunderbird showed up again and we may have killed a guy and you had fun?”
I asked, raising and eyebrow suspiciously.
“Can we not talk about that right now? Anyways I don’t exactly have a high bar for what is and isn’t fun at this point. I’ll see you later Keith.”
Bianca said, cracking a smile and walking into her house.
I was about halfway back to my own house when I realized she never gave me my backpack back. Well, looks like I’d be seeing her again then because I need that stuff back. I wasn’t sure what to think about what I’d seen today. If the thunderbird was in those mines years ago why did she end up in Wisconsin? There was also a very real possibility some people in this town worshipped her so I’d have to keep an eye out for that. The really interesting thing to me was the Shaoni never seemed to want to hurt me in the cave today. She was terrifying as all hell sure, but I didn’t get the sense that she wanted to cause me any sort of harm. If she wanted to do that my gut told me she would’ve done it quickly and efficiently.
Thunder suddenly cracked outside, interrupting my train of thought. As I stood up to see what time it was a knock came from the front door. I froze, who exactly could it be? I doubt Bianca would come over, I don’t think she even knows where I live but maybe she came by to drop off the backpack she absconded with? The knock came again, more forcefully this time.
“I’m coming, I’m coming!”
I shouted, as I jogged to the door. My heart dropped as soon as I opened it, On the other side of the door stood Shaoni. She was dressed normally for once, wearing a long flowing white nightgown. Shaoni stepped into my house as she cooed in her usual misty voice.
“Good evening. Keith was it? We have much to discuss.”
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2024.05.18 23:22 richyrich9553 Help. How do I file this out

Not sure if this is the right place to post this, but can someone help me figure out how this has to be filled out so basically a longtime friend of my parents moved out of state and left one of their vehicles here and has given it to us. No title has been transferred yet, but we are trying to purchase the plate sticker and the lady at the DMV gave me this sheet to have a filled out in order to be able to purchase a sticker without my parents friends need to be present at the DMV.
submitted by richyrich9553 to DMV [link] [comments]

2024.05.18 22:25 FKingPretty Raging Bull (1980)

Raging Bull (1980)
Based on the life of boxer Jake LaMotta as he wins in the ring and loses at life, Martin Scorsese’s Raging Bull has Robert DeNiro in top form. From honing his body to accurately portray the boxer in his earlier years (even boxing in three matches, with two wins) to gaining 60lbs to show LaMotta in his decline, DeNiro gives his all.
Not only in the physical, but the psychological. Every second he is on screen is an exercise in tension, as you await his characters paranoia and rage to explode at those around him as it does in the ring. Outside the ring he is unable to have the control and the discipline for his anger and rage that the ring affords him with its rounds and its competitive element. He becomes an animal inside and out of it.
Scorsese elected to show the film in black and white which only heightens the beauty of the fight scenes. Wreathed in camera bulb flashes and smoke, freeze frames, slomo and animalistic sounds, all to bring to the fore the brutality and the beauty of the sport, even as blood sprays the ring side people.
Scorsese is back in that familiar world of young, angry Italians. Mobsters are at the periphery of Jake’s story and Joe Pesci, as Jake’s brother, Joey, is only slightly sympathetic a character, and one familiar to his roles in Scorsese’s other films, Goodfellas (‘90) and Casino ‘(95), especially in the altercation scene with another Scorsese bit player, Frank Vincent, set in a night club.
Cathy Moriarty as wife, Vickie, has to suffer throughout in a role that becomes, for the most part, a punching bag, both verbally and physically to Jake’s rages. The only weak part of the film where you wish she was given more to show, but this is Jake’s story.
A masterpiece in every sense, there is no redemption here. Until the end it becomes impossible to like anything about this based on real life person. But it’s a fascinating, brutal look into the mind of a damaged person incapable of loving anyone, including himself.
submitted by FKingPretty to iwatchedanoldmovie [link] [comments]

2024.05.18 22:20 I_Stole_Your_Pie The legion could have been so much more than what we got

Look I love the legion their a really cool faction But there's a part of me now that says they were just half-done I understand the whole 18 months of development for New Vegas but still
It feels like they just made the legion evil just to make the NCR look better I mean if they want to do that then that's fine but just why do they allow us to join them if the legion was just was just going to be evil Hell if the legion is so sexist then why does the legion allow a female courier to help them
The legion isn't a fleshed out faction only the NCR is and that's only because we've seen them in another game
It would have been way better if the legion was just a morally gray faction We could have looked more into their society And less about the slavery and crucifixions Like they could have added scribes or war priests
They could have added morally good characters that so happened to the legionaries Along with the morally bad legionaries
The legion could have actually pointed out Actual flaws within the NCR instead of saying oh the government is corrupt they could have actually pointed out actual hypocrisies within the NCR They could have pointed out that the ncr was doing the exact same thing as them
Hell I would happily sacrifice the brotherhood of steel the independent Vegas the bombers quest line just so I could have a better legion quest line
Because the independent Vegas ending is a cop out ending for if you screw everyone else over and make them hate you and unable to finish the game
The brotherhood of steel was a pretty good questline but it felt like they only really existed just do be another way for you to get power armor and power armor training
And the boomers were just unnecessary I think they would have done better if nellis Air Force Base was instead a NCR military base Trying to get bomber jets working again
Hell I would give the NCR real power armor and power armor training while giving the legion the salvage power armor And the ability for the player character to create salvage power armor
Hell I've created a different version of New Vegas in my head where the legion has Hoover dam and the NCR has New Vegas And Helios One
So this is the part of this post Where what I would have changed a lot more of the story
1st-legion
Ok first part is of the territorys that the legion would control the legion will control all territories that they already have But they will have the NCR correctional facility, prim, Boulder City, novac, hover damn, and camp forelorn hope,
Boulder City will be besieged by the NCR forces including NCR rangers, NCR power armor troopers, and and regular NCR troopers With mechanical infantry like the m4 Sherman tank, Humvees, m44 armored personal carriers, And robot infantry, like sentry bots, protectrons, holograms from the Sierra Madre, Mr gutsey's (I might have said it wrong) As Vertibirds and howitzers will be bombing Boulder City constantly Basically the Battle of Berlin
hoover dam is no longer just a military complex but also a city that due to the fact that the legion moved a bunch of people on to Hoover dam building houses and walkways across the whole wall but it will also be besieged by NCR forces with the same equipment I listed above just without the air support or the howitzer support no air support because the legion will be using anti-aircraft weaponry and the howitzers are busy with Boulder City, but it will have to suffer from watercraft like NCR military boats Such as WW2 patrol torpedo boats,
Primm is not being besieged by the NCR but they are suffering a revolution pro NCR partisans has attacked prim from the inside causing havoc and destruction against the legion military and local law enforcement They will have regular civilian clothes with Kevlar vests, makeshift helmets, and service rifles, Hunting rifles, hunting shotguns, SMGs, Makeshift explosives and vehicles made into armored cars
Camp forlorn hope will be a military hospital camp do treat injured or sick legionary soldiers suffering skirmishes against the NCR troopers and NCR mercenaries due to the fact that it has close proximity to Hoover dam but is they are not being besiegeddue to the fact that Hoover dam is right around the corner and that place is currently being besieged
And Novac will be a relatively peaceful legion City only suffering from occasional NCR skirmishes but they will have a partisans problem too just on a lesser degree That is due to the fact that the NCR is right around the corner in the NCR is currently just starting the revolution within Novac
The NCR correctional facility now known as the legion gulag because I cannot have thought of a better name right now Is not currently being attacked by any forces because it is a military prison installation holding criminals partisans and prisoners of war and unlike the NCR they were not being dumb and they are not giving the prisoners TNT
2st-ncr
Okay second part the NCR Will have all the territories they have in New Vegas except for the ones I listed above But they will have other places like the big MT and the Sierra Madre casino along with the brothers of steel bunkers and nellis Air Force Base along with black mountain
The Mojave Outpost was no longer just being Outpost but a giant military base with vertibirds howitzers and m4 tanks that the legion will be constantly besieging
The Big MT will be an area where the NCR is excavating technologies and resources they will not be attacked by the legion but they are being attacked by brotherhood of steel remnants with enclave vertibirds they stole from The enclave after Fallout 2
The Sierra Madre casino will be an area where the NCR is also excavating for technology But unlike the big MT NCR is having much more troubles because of the corrosive fog the ghost people And the captured prisoners of war and legion sympathizers/political oppositions that they are using for slave labor will revolt against the NCR using the technology they find against the NCR themselves
The hidden valley bunkers will be NCR territory now after they hunted down the brotherhood of steel and slaughtered them leaving some to escape to live to fight another day they are not being besieged by any hostile forces as for right now due to the close proximity to Black mountain
Black mountain will be a large military base of operations in charge of radio transmissions due to this fact black mound will be protected 24/7 by vertibirds and soldiers and it will also be protecting the hidden valley bunkers due to the fact that the bunkers are close in proximity Black will have a large military presence
Nellis Air Force Base unlike black mountain will be attacked constantly by legion forces due to the fact that the Air Force Base is where the vertibird and a working b-24 bomber plane is stationed due to this fact the outside areas of nellis is a blown out hellscape but it is not dealing with the front of the attacks unlike Vegas or the Mojave Outpost
New Vegas is basically the Battle of Stalingrad As inner Vegas is perfectly okay but outer Vegas is currently being attacked by legion forces Legion sympathizers, and a rogue group of l brotherhood of steel remnants who went rogue and are now terrorizing Westside With mechanized infantry and death squads/Stormtroopers Outer Vegas is constantly being bombed out by howitzers, vertibirds, and legion motors, Along with makeshift bombs by the legion partisans, The ncr also has mechanized infantry, power armor troopers, desert rangers, NCR troopers, It is not a safe place to live in outer Vegas Inside the strip itself it's perfectly fine though for some reason but it has been completely closed off due to well the events that's currently happening outside
Ok now we are at the part of the weapon technology of the legion and NCR
Starting off with the legion, They will have a little worse equipment than the NCR but they have more soldiers overall killing them by a thousand cuts But the technology they do have includes Mortars, howitzers, Humvees modified with Rams, some salvaged m4 Sherman tanks from the NCR, salvaged power armopower armor without the power, they will have a b24 bomber and vertibirds Only if they successfully take over nellis Air Force Base, Along with some laser and plasma weapons only some not a lot if any,
Now the NCR Because they have been salvaging from Big MT & the Sierra Madre They will have much more advance technology Such as fully working power armor, forcefield technology, fully working vertibirds, holograms, instead of the crappy NCR trooper uniform in base game Vegas they will have The superior combat armor that the United States military pre-war used, they also have the ability to use Archimedes 2 the orbital death laser, also m4 Sherman tanks, m44 armored personnel carriers, Humvees, boats, Howitzers,
Now the skeletal frame for the story during the first battle of Hoover dam the main characters will obviously be Caesar, the malpis legate, vulpes inculta, general Oliver, the NCR president currently at Vegas, Chief Hamilton,
And mister house is now reawakening about to send his robot army to get rid of all factions from Vegas
You are The scribe and you have just arrived in Nevada you were involved in a vertibird crash that left you with no memories Only that you woke up in a red robe and a 10mm magazine fed revolver
Almost all the factions within this new story Will be morally Gray with both good and bad characters belonging to them It is your job to choose who you work for The occupying force of the NCR He already established force of the legion Who came there before the NCR Or will you go neither and work with the mysterious house a man who is not awoken yet...
You can convince the brother of steel to work with legion if you do so before the Air Force Base mission you will get air support and the brotherhood of steel will be come an exhilary Force for the legion They will not join the NCR at all Unless you take the place has elder
And that's it I might think of something else later but right now I'm out of thoughts anyways how do you guys think of this.
submitted by I_Stole_Your_Pie to Fallout [link] [comments]

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submitted by MortgageRich3613 to Statisticshelpers_ [link] [comments]

2024.05.18 21:53 superhoffy Wanna hear KGLW banger after banger? It's not possible to boil gizzard down to fewer than 27 tracks and I'll fight anyone that disagrees!

So I've now finally listened to all KGLW albums enough to feel like I can be sure of my favourite songs. I made a playlist of my top 27 tracks, which was a painful enough process in itself given the number of bangers I had to leave out. My initial goal was to make a top ten, but it just hurts way too much to go that far. My process was as follows:
Notes: the only album with full representation is Laminated Denim. It's perhaps not an album in the traditional sense, but it is 30 minutes long. Songs that absolutely blow my mind are: Candles, Magma, The Land Before Timeland, Am I in Heaven (this song is possibly the one that made me a Gizzhead), Open Water (possibly my all-time favourite - it's fucking amazing!), Tezeta, Inner Cell, Oddlife, O.N.E, Motor Spirit, Nuclear Fusion and Astroturf, but this is by no means a thought-out top ten.
For those who don't have Spotify the full list is: Candles, Magma, The Land Before Timeland, Hypertension, Astroturf, Iron Lung, The Garden Goblin, Work This Time, Am I in Heaven?, Slow Jam I, Trapdoor, Rattlesnake, Open Water, Catching Smoke, Eyes Like the Sky, Tezeta, Crumbling Castle, Inner Cell, Mars for the Rich, Oddlife, O.N.E., Static Electricity, Motor Spirit, Gila Monster, Nuclear Fusion, The Silver Cord, Gilgamesh.
submitted by superhoffy to KGLW [link] [comments]

2024.05.18 21:41 Slep1k Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (How would you rate this game?)

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (How would you rate this game?)
This is my experience with the story mode. Keep in mind that it differs from person to person and you shouldn’t compare yours with that of the others. ⬇️
💟 (Phenomenal) ✅ (Very Good) ✴️ (Good) ⛔️ (Bad)
STORY 💟
Storytelling 💟 - Starting with the low life gangsters and rising to the top of the world, just to be reminded where you came from. - Each mission has its own storyline, be it a simple job, a date, a well planed heist or a complex robbery. - Tenpenny vs CJ was a good battle, way too stretched and way too one sided though. Only the final mission had the chips turned upside down. - The Driver game by Reflections was played by nearly everyone during some cutscenes, funny how all of them sucked at it, myself included.
Characters 💟 - CJ was a good character. Way too vulnerable in my opinion. Everyone from the start of the game was pushing him around, using him, not taking him seriously, and what’s even worse, even by the end, I didn’t feel any power emanating from him. - Tenpenny and Samuel L. Jackson’s performance made this game a thousand times better. The lines, calmness, just two fucks given, a real motherfucker! - Catalina and Claude, yeah, Claude from GTA III made a cool presentation of how crazy women can be. She kept calling CJ throughout the game and expressing her love in a weird manner. - Sweet was a dumb fool. Having an opportunity to get out of the hood and live the life, he chose to stay within it and remain a low life, dragging everyone with him. - Big smoke was all talk and didn’t appear on screen for too long, which was a good thing. His whole part in this game was very confusing and didn’t provide any meaningful input. - Woozie was my favourite. Even when blind, he always knew that whichever path he followed, it would lead him to HIS destination.
Setting 💟 - The whole California vibe was incredible. - Starting with the low life hoods, then moving towards the unknown forests, deserts, and finally reaching the big city with all the casinos. - Los Santos was super detailed and didn’t lack any of its vibe.
Pacing ✴️ - Somewhat good. Starting slow, then blasting through a variety of missions, and finally ending with a well balanced pace. - Some missions are badly stretched and lack the fast travel option. - Driving around for 10 minutes just to arrive at your destination and failing due to a technical flaw in the game’s design is the most painful thing you can endure, even Souls games didn’t give me that much grief.
GAMEPLAY ✅
Controls ✅ - Enjoyable but very confusing at the start. Coming from GTA III & Vice City, this was a heavy change. - The auto aim works wonders, although sometimes it’s better to use manual. - Cars feel very good and you can actually improve their skill and controls. - Boats are very enjoyable with the quick turns and acceleration. - Helicopters and planes have a heavy feel, each one with a different control and feeling. Some buttons like the R3 to retract the wheels are wrong.
Mechanics 💟 - Starting with the gang territories, they were frustrating. Each one was confusing to acquire and by the end, a chore. - Like in Vice City there were properties which you acquired by completing missions with the usual cash reward. I so wished there was a taxi one which gave you the fast travel option. - There were some missions hunting bikers for cash and doing different jobs. - The gym for muscle growth, dating, driving, lung capacity and more, all of these had their meter to fill and felt like a chore. The flying and driving schools were cool though.
Exploration 💟 - Impressive for a game made in 2004. So many different buildings which weren’t marked on the map that you could enter. - Based on 3 huge islands there were a whole lot to explore. Starting with collectibles which provide special rewards, hidden weapons, cars, planes, and more. - The map was so huge that you could get lost within a city, sometimes the map was the only way you could escape.
Missions/Events ✅ - I loved each of them, but I hated their length. Some start and end very quickly, while the others have crazy long distances and make your finger hurt by pressing X for too long. - The diversity, pain and fun you had in each of them was a colourful experience. - Starting with the hood, the simplicity, and finishing with the casino heists, which required some crazy feats. For reference, the jet hijack was hilarious.
Difficulty ✴️ - Way harder than expected. The missions in themselves aren’t hard, it’s their longevity. - Advancing into a mission for 20 minutes just to fail due to the lack of health items is very painful. - The last mission was made by sadistic fucks. I think it went on for longer than an hour, and if you fail, you get to experience it all over again. The game was way too rushed if you ask me. - Very hard and incredibly frustrating, that’s what I’m going with.
SOUND DESIGN 💟
Surround Sound 💟 - I loved it. Each interaction, cutscene, music, cars, planes, everything was synched together delivering a beautiful experience. - Sometimes characters would fall behind and you’ll hear them as if it was real life. The distance was felt, effects made you exited, voices created feeling, all around great.
Sound Effects 💟 - Incredible for such a game. As soon as you start, you can feel each car’s engine, people talking to each other, planes flying on top of your head, police chasing criminals and so on. - CJ hurting, people dying, cars getting blown or destroyed, gunfire, tires, so many details that I can’t even write them all down.
Voice Acting 💟 - The game delivered some movie quality acting right here. I was so hyped when I hear S. L. Jackson, he really carried. - Each character had his own accent and personality. Transferring emotions through the screen is hard in a movie, let alone a video game, and this one delivered.
Music 💟 - Each to their own. There’re a whole bunch of radio stations from which you can choose your favorite one. I for once didn’t have a favorite, because each one was perfect in its own way.
VISUALS ✅
Fidelity 💟 - Astronomical achievement. I can’t believe this game came on a DVD and had these amazing details. - The field of view was short indeed, but on such a big scale, texture streaming was impressive. Even when flying through the city, it somehow kept up with the pace.
Performance ✴️ - I wouldn’t go as far as good, but I’d give it an acceptable vote. - Most of the time the frame rate was below 30 with terrible screen tearing and freezes. I do understand though, the game had revolutionary details.
Textures 💟 - Every single thing in Los Santos is incredibly detailed. You could stop by some houses in the wild and admire their design, pick a variety of cars while destroying them and wonder how they did it, look at NPCs in the world and follow their actions. - Each location is well made and doesn’t lack anything really, Rockstar’s craft is on another level.
Effects 💟 - From fires spreading through the wild, sandstorms, rain, waves and much more, such a cool vibe. - Flying around through the clouds and foggy cities was such a great experience!
COMBAT 💟
Flow 💟 - Good progression through enemies. Each one has a health bar, some can be killed with headshots or running them over. - The gore and head explosions are cool. I wish there was total body dismemberment though. - Free aiming is difficult at times, until you get the sensitivity right.
Diversity 💟 - Starting with a normal car run over, then a knife in the neck, a silent shot to the skull, 30 shots to the body, even if already dead, a snipe to the genitals, a rocket to a chopper, a jet with missiles and much more. - So many creative ways to kill people that one can just wonder.
Enemy Variety ✅ - A bunch of gangsters, police, swat, bosses and more, the game has incredible NPC development. - Most of them have the same weapons and make your life harder, but overall very cool.
Weapons 💟 - Super fun and a whole lot of them. The dildo had me cracking. The ability to kill people with that thing already gave this game a 10/10! - Choppers have mini guns and rockets, same as jets but these have an auto aim system as well.
Stealth 💟 - I love stealth in games and this one didn’t disappoint. The way CJ sneaks behind enemies and delivers the final blow with that sweet sound effect is very pleasing. - Most missions have a choice, either sneak or go guns blazing.
DRIVING ✅
Flow ✴️ - Good driving around enjoying a beautiful landscape while listening to some great songs. - The problem lies in NPCs. They occasionally drive into you and cause mayhem. Other than that, they have no sense of awareness. You can sit at a light waiting for it to go green, and they will just honk at you endlessly while passing you aggressively. - Cars have weight and it shows, what I mean is how quickly they get upside down. Not to mention the fact that a car will always blow up if it does so, right?
NPCs ⛔️ - Dumb and critically aggressive. Sometimes you have to avoid them altogether to complete a mission.
Cops ✅ - Coming from previous GTAs, this game was somehow a relief. They were aggressive, sure, but not as aggressive as in previous titles.
Cars/Planes 💟 - Impressive variety. From normal to trucks and finally to super cars. - Boats have different ones with small, medium and large ones. - Helicopters have a cool variety too. Normal, combat, pickup, and so on. - Jets and planes have a unique feel. Some aquaplanes as well. Quite impressive!
Roads 💟 - Very detailed in every way. As an example, if you drive in the rain, the car would have a water print behind it, or the desert would have dust, even in water there’re waves. - Each one is well made and connects to each island through bridges.
WORLD DESIGN 💟
Atmosphere 💟 - The initial vibe wasn’t as good, all dark and without proper scale, but as you progress through the game, it expands like the universe itself. - You start discovering different locations, sights, landscapes, roads, cities and it becomes one of the greatest experiences on PS2.
Surroundings 💟 - Loved each city and desert. You could go on the highway and stop for a couple of seconds just because of the sunrise. Or drive through the city and see a yellow marker that doesn’t have anything on the map, so you go exploring. - Each part of the game has astonishing surroundings and level designs. You can get lost in it.
Landscapes 💟 - Extremely beautiful. For a 2004 game, I bet people back in the day were all ecstatic.
World Destruction ✴️ - Overall good, nothing too impressive on an environmental scale. - The usual car blowing up, planes, boats, motorcycles, and so on. - There’re a couple of locations where there’re some minor level changing destructions, but nothing too impressive.
submitted by Slep1k to GTA [link] [comments]

2024.05.18 21:12 New_Carpenter3333 Single Mom of 1 Urgently Looking for Share

Hi all. I’m urgently looking for temporary housing the the Pleasanton, Livermore, Dublin area.
The Situation: I’m a 47 year old professional woman and mother of a 13 year old daughter. I moved to the Bay Area to pursue a career in the Tech industry, but I’ve been affected by tech layoffs. I currently live in Pleasanton in a 2BR apartment with a monthly rent of $2800. I’ve been living in this apartment for over 3 years and I’ve been in Pleasanton for nearly 5 years. I’ve been unemployed full-time for 6 months, exhausted all of my savings and I can no longer afford my rent. I’m at risk of losing my apartment and I’m looking for a share to move-in around mid June. I don’t drink or smoke. I’m 420 friendly, but not around kids. Love working out and generally live a healthy and drama-free lifestyle.
What I need: I’m looking for a large unfurnished room, in-law unit, studio or the like for a reasonable rent (I know that reasonable is subjective in the Bay). I don’t want to disrupt things too badly for my daughter and change schools in her last year of middle school and take us away from our community, so I’m looking to stay in the Tri-Valley or close to it. We’re originally from the East Coast and don’t have family here who can help, so I’d like to stay close to the community that we do have. East Oakland, San Leandro, Castro Valley, Hayward or Fremont could also work. I have a 16 year old cat who likely won’t be around for much longer and that I’ve had since a kitten and I really, really, really dread parting with him. Thinking long-term, I’d like to move into a house and rent two rooms (in Alameda or Berkeley) for my daughter and I during high school years, but that option may be cost prohibitive right now. Looking to keep the cost under $1200.
My current income: I’m working two different part-time jobs with an hourly rate that’s much less than what I’m used to. I’m onboarding as a substitute teacher with an organization, will do Uber in between jobs and I’m actively interviewing for full-time roles with salaries at or near what I’m used to. I’ve been gainfully employed for over 20 years and never thought that I’d be in this situation. I have the experience and credentials to get a full time job, but time isn’t on my side right now.
Since posting, I’ve seen that some suspect that I’m a scam. I’m not scamming. I’ve also suspected that some people are looking to scam me. I’m not for it. I’ll provide all the references that you need and I’ll be expecting for you to verify that you’re who you say you are too. I’d expect that we’d talk by phone, meet in person and I’d see the space. Please provide pics of your space if you have them. I’m absolutely not sending anyone any money before meeting, seeing the space and agreeing to move forward. I’m definitely not sending you my bank account or personal information because you’re so generous and want to help.
If you don’t have a room for us but you do have a job lead, I’ll take that too! I’m a Project Manager who’s worked at some of the top tech companies in the area.
Thanks for reading!
submitted by New_Carpenter3333 to SFBayHousing [link] [comments]

2024.05.18 21:01 AutoModerator Is Mrbet Legal in Deutschland?

Determining whether Mr.Bet is legal in Germany requires understanding the current legal framework for online gambling in the country.
Legal Status of Online Gambling in Germany: Germany has recently undergone significant changes in its gambling regulations. As of July 1, 2021, the new State Treaty on Gambling (Glücksspielstaatsvertrag 2021) came into effect. This treaty aims to regulate online gambling across all 16 federal states, making online casino operations legal under certain conditions.
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Terms and Conditions: Mr.Bet's terms and conditions specify that users from countries where online gambling is illegal are prohibited from playing. This implies that players should verify the legality of online gambling in their own jurisdictions before registering.

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Recommendation: German players should check whether Mr.Bet or any other online casino holds a German gambling license. This can typically be found on the casino's website or by contacting their customer support. For safe and legal online gambling, choose casinos that are explicitly licensed to operate in Germany under the new State Treaty on Gambling.
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2024.05.18 20:17 TalesofLyria I think my husband is lying to me

--- EDIT: Thank you all so much for the advice and the gentle kick-up-the-backside (so to speak) in getting me to realise that I shouldn't keep justifying my husband's behaviour. I am beginning to make a plan to get out. We have a house/mortgage, so it won't be very easy. I'm worried about my dogs, as rentals that allow pets are hard to come by here, and financially I don't know how I'm even going to be able to support myself. I'm sure it will all fall into place, but it's scary to think about it all. I will update this post if anything else comes out of the conversation.
My (32F) husband (35M) is a nice man, but he's emotionally unavailable, stoic, behaves in quite arrogant/cocky ways at times, and still lives like he did when we first met - like a batchelor who will randomly make plans with his mates and decide to tell me a couple of hours before he leaves that he's going out.
When he's out, he smokes weed with his mates. All he does is watch movies and plays games. He does absolutely nothing with his life. He works full-time, but I think he is wasted in his current job as he has a lot of potential. He doesn't really strive to better himself or learn new skills etc.
I find this really unattractive, amongst other things. I just constantly feel like he spends time with me because he 'has to' rather than actually wanting to, because if he has he chance to go over to his friends house to smoke weed, he would 100% choose to do that.
Yesterday, we had a discussion about underage grooming (someone in our area was found to be grooming an underage girl). I've always been suspicious of my husband's thoughts around this topic, because in the past, he has repeatedly made excuses for this behaviour when the topic has come up in discussion and says that the person committing the abuse "can't help the way they feel."
I have suspected that maybe he finds underage girls attractive, as he is so blatantly hell-bent on justifying the actions of people who indulge in pedophilia.
Yesterday, we got into a slightly heated discussion about it after I brought the topic up about the guy in our area. He basically went online and sent me a link to an article to say that it wasn't true, even though I had told him that the family of the girl involved in the grooming was known to someone I work with.
I have a history of being the recipient of inappropriate behaviour from my father (who I no longer speak to) and he knows that I cannot tolerate inappropriate behaviour like this.
I asked him outright how could he justify the predatory behaviour of someone grooming a child, and whether he found 16 year olds attractive.
He looked nervous as hell (and I mean, I was stunned at his physical response) and started sputtering and tripping over his words. Honestly, to me, it looked like I'd caught him out. He sputtered, "of course not" and his eyes started darting around all over the place and he started fidgeting like crazy. He tried to flip the conversation around by suggesting that I was calling one of his close friends "disgusting" because she (as a woman in her 60s) recently had a consensual fling with someone in their 20s. I told him that this scenario was completely different, and although I personally thought it was a bit creepy, as long as they are adults (by law) and they are both consenting, they can do whatever they want.
I haven't spoken to him since because I feel physically disgusted by him. I know he is lying to me. I don't want to be with this man anymore. Help Reddit, where do I go from here?
submitted by TalesofLyria to AskWomenOver30 [link] [comments]

2024.05.18 19:28 uhguys I (35M) have had issues with my mother (68F) ever since my son was born. They keep getting worse. Should I distance myself?

This has to do with my relationship with my mother, which, since I have gotten married and had a child, had been rocky to say the least.
Five years ago, my wife (34F) and I had our first child and the first grandchild for my parents. They were ecstatic, as were we. But very quickly, issues arose. For example, when we broke the news to my parents that we were expecting, we asked them not to tell anyone, as it was very early. Within two days, all my mom's friends knew. Then, to make matters worse, my mom announced it on Facebook before we could. She was very apologetic, saying "she didn't know". Whatever. We moved on.
Our son was born and like most young parents, relied on the grandparents for assistance with child care. My mother-in-law was, and continues to be, great. Continually is in contact with us while she is watching him. Asks us things to make sure were okay with them. Side note, this is also her 8th grandchild. My mom, however, has been polar opposite. For example, we let her take our son when he was 2 to a local library for story time. We had never let anyone besides us drive him anywhere, so it was a big step for us as first time parents. Well, she took him to the library...but then over her friend's house across town without asking or telling us. We only found out when we asked if she was home yet with him. This caused by wife to blow up at my mom. Side note about my wife, she has lost 3 young family members in tragic accidents over the last 10 years, causing her to have some pretty severe anxiety when it comes to our son.
This behavior from my mom has continued since that point. Whenever she watches him, its always "Can I take him to the movies?", "Can I take him to the ice cream shop?", "Can I take him shopping with me?". Sometimes its a yes from us, but sometimes its a no. But when its a yes, my wife is always bothered by the fact that my mom always asks to take him somewhere. And when its a no, my mom gives some pushback ("Oh, my friends can take their grandkids anywhere"). One important thing to note is that my mom is a fantastic help and does do a lot for our son. There have been situations where we have been in a bind last minute and she would come watch him in the drop of a hat at all hours.
Fast forward to recently. Our son is now 5 and a half and loves spending time with my mom. When we tell him she is watching him, he gets so excited. So she came over to watch him for a full day while my wife and I worked. Throughout the day, my mom was sending me pictures of him playing outside and having a blast. Then she asked if she could take him over to her house to see my dad and brother. We said okay. Then they went back to our place and then an hour or so later, walked back to her house again. Did she ask the second time? No. Was it the biggest issue with me and my wife? No. However, it was someone annoying to us. Why does she always feel the need to do something with him? Why can't she stay at our place and play with him outside in our yard? And my mom has admitted to us that she "has a hard time staying at our house when she watches him" (she's a busy body).
So later that day, my wife sent my mom a text, in a somewhat passive-aggressive tone, saying that my mom "has no right to decide where to take him" when she's with him, including her own house when they were out on a walk. My wife also said, again, passive-aggressively (more so than I would have), that my mom appears "entitled". Well, my mom lost it. Said she's sick of being micromanaged when she watches our son. That she's held to a different standard than the other grandparents and doesn't have the same "rights" the other grandparents have. The argument then escalated into name calling and I got pulled into it with my mom texting me about my wife having a "mental illness" and "anger problems" and saying that I'd be better off getting a divorce. I will admit, I don't think my wife handles these situations the best. Her first response recently has been anger and confrontation with my mom, which doesn't help the situation. But I can see how years of this has impacted her. Side note, my wife is Hispanic and over the years, my mom has made some overt comments about this ("I love having a blended family!" when no one is asking or at our wedding when one of her friends said to her "Your mother would be rolling in her grave if she saw this wedding!" and then my mom laughing).
Now, I 100% support my wife. She is an amazing mother. Amazing. Would do anything for our son. Does her anxiety sometimes lead to her being a helicopter mom? Yes. But its because she cares and wants what's best for our son. However, is my mom held to a different standard? Yes. My mother-in-law watches our son over her house all the time. My mom doesn't really get that luxury. But its important to note that my mother-in-law lives alone and has cared for 7 other grandchildren and follows our wishes to a T. My mom, on the other hand, has my 31 year old brother who lives in the basement, openly smokes weed in the house to the point where their entire house smells like it (I don't care about weed, but I don't want a 5 year old around that), and has his less than desirable friends coming to and from the house. My parents also have two dogs that aren't the best trained and recently lost their bulldog, who would go after our son when he went over there.
So the argument continues to this day. My mom says she feels "used", like a hired babysitter and that we are "ungrateful" for all she does for our son (and, I will admit, she does a lot). She feels like she should be able to watch him over her own house because not only do her friends get to do that, but my mother-on-law gets to, as well. I have been very very open this time with her about our concerns and why this is the way it is, but I get called a bad son and bad brother in response. I also have been getting guilted by her too, with her making statements like "You'll have to live with this if something ever happens to one of us!" or "You're so uncaring, thoughtless, and selfish".
I literally don't know what to do anymore, which is why I'm here. I'm thinking the only way to solve this and live a peaceful life is to distance myself from my mom? This will have a massive impact on our lives though, as we really rely on her for child care and my son loves being with her. My mom is very loving towards our son and has waited her whole life to be a grandparent. I can respect the fact that its frustrating for her to see her friends be able to do whatever they want with their grandchildren, but not her. I get that. My wife appears to be perfectly fine never speaking with her again as this has been a powder keg, but I think I can get them into a sit-down talk. I have accepted the fact that I haven't been as up front with her (my mom) over the years as I should have been. But my mom has become defensive, argumentative, and flat out rude. My wife puts it best when she says there's a sense of entitlement from my mom. She feels like as a grandparent, she almost has some sort of parental rights. My mom has also recently lost a sister and her best friend, so I believe there is definitely some underlying depression going on, which she has admitted to. She feels like she "can't catch a break", but I get sick to my stomach seeing her text me paragraphs everyday telling me I don't defend her to my wife, that my wife is crazy, and that I will feel guilty is something happens to her or my dad.
TLDR: My mom hasn't respected our boundaries for years. Came to a head recently with her and my wife got into an argument over what my mom does when she watches our son (5M). My mom has since turned on me and called me a bad son for not defending her to my wife and thinking that "this is okay". Do I distance myself?
submitted by uhguys to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2024.05.18 19:27 Yurii_S_Kh Monotheism. Part 2: Judaism

Monotheism. Part 2: Judaism
Part 1
Judaism: a Retreat from Biblical Monotheism
The history of the Jewish people is clearly divided into two periods: before and after the expiatory death of Jesus Christ. As the Sacrifice for the sins of the world had not yet been carried out, Old Testament history continued, the entire meaning of which consisted in waiting and preparation to meet the coming Savior. Messianic expectations were particularly pronounced during the last decades before the arrival of the Savior into the world. People not only in Jerusalem, but also in other cities and villages of Palestine, waited for the Messiah foretold in the Holy Scripture.
Christ and the Pharisees
Time was fulfilled. The Messiah came, but Jewish leaders, Pharisees, and Sadducees condemned him to death. But why were the Pharisees, Sadducees, and scribes offended? Why was it enough for the Samaritan woman to reveal the secret side of her life for her to gladly believe that the traveler standing beside her, weary from the road and asking her for water, was Christ (see John 4:42)? Why did the Pharisees and scribes, who were witnesses to the magnificent miracles performed by Jesus and knew the Scriptures better than anyone else, stubbornly refuse to recognize Christ? Finally, one more question: why did they hate Him, despite the fact that he delivered many people from terrible disease and suffering?
The answer must be sought in the peculiarities and character of the spiritual life of the leaders of Israel. Religious life demands of a person self-attentiveness, moral sensitivity, humility, and pure intentions. Without this, the heart gradually hardens. A change inevitably occurs, the consequences of which are spiritual death.
Already before the beginning of our Savior’s Gospel of the Heavenly Kingdom, the Jews had begun to imagine the Messiah as a powerful earthly king, who would exalt them above all nations and make them wealthy and powerful. This concept of the Messiah corresponded to their spiritual and moral condition.
For a proper understanding of the prophecy inspired by the Holy Spirit, not doctrinal erudition, but pure, uncorrupted faith was necessary.
The consciousness of lawyers and scribes, corrupted by sin, did not notice the parts of the Old Testament in which the spiritual qualities of the promised Messiah are given: "behold, thy King cometh unto thee: he is just, and having salvation; lowly, and riding upon an ass, and upon a colt the foal of an ass" (Zech. 9:9); " Behold my servant, whom I uphold; mine elect, in whom my soul delighteth; I have put my spirit upon him: he shall bring forth judgment to the Gentiles. He shall not cry, nor lift up, nor cause his voice to be heard in the street. A bruised reed shall he not break, and the smoking flax shall he not quench: he shall bring forth judgment unto truth" (Isa. 42:1-3; cf.: Matt. 12:20).
Despite all the seemingly multifaceted events preceding the trial of the Savior of the world, there is only one reason for such a grave sin to have been committed—the people were rooted in sin and loved it. They seethed with anger at He who had come to the world to conquer and destroy sin.
After Christ the Messiah, who came to save the world, was slandered, profaned, and put to death, the spiritual death of the chosen people began. The Lord Jesus Christ spoke to the Hebrews directly, "He that hateth me hateth my Father also" (John 15:23). This means that the monotheism of the Hebrew leaders became entirely formalistic.
In literature, Old Testament religion, which ends with the conclusion of the New Testament, and Judaism, are often confused. This association is completely wrong. The expectation of the Messiah, which permeated the centuries-long history of the religion of the descendants of the Prophet Moses, ended. The goals and aspirations of the Hebrews, led by the Pharisees and Sadducees, stayed on Earth. Earthly well-being, wealth, success, and power became core values. In keeping with these, they imagined the anticipated Messiah.
However, the prophets foretold the coming of another Messiah—the Suffering Messiah. The Prophet Isaiah, who is called the "Old Testament Evangelist" (see Saint Jerome, Letter to Paulinus) because of his many prophesies and the precision of their fulfillment in Jesus Christ, speaks about this with impressive clarity and precision.
What then is the true Messiah? "He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth… for the transgression of my people was he stricken. And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth. Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand" (Isa. 53:7-10).
Were the Jews familiar with this chapter of the great prophet? Not all of them. Usually during weekly readings at the synagogue this chapter is omitted. Here is an excerpt from the memoirs of Rosa Price, who survived the horrors of several Nazi concentration camps and accepted Jesus Christ. Her daughter became a follower of the Savior Jesus, but she adhered to old misconceptions. "I ran to the rabbi. He would tell me different Scriptures with which to challenge my family. In response, they would give me five more. At the urging of my family, I asked the rabbi about Isaiah 53. He said, “No Jew reads that, especially not a Jewish woman.” So I couldn’t read it. The same for Psalm 22. There are 328 prophecies of the coming of the suffering servant Messiah. I asked the rabbi about almost all of them. Finally, the rabbi told me not to come to the synagogue anymore because I had read him Isaiah 53" (Rosa Price. The Survivor // Sid Roth. They Thought for Themselves. WWP, 2007).
How did the lawyers, who knew many parts of the Old Testament Bible by heart, explain the chapter? In the period of the Talmud's formation, the scribes recognized that the 53rd chapter was a prophecy of the Messiah's coming. However, beginning with the famed Hebrew exegete Rashi (Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchaki; 1040 - 1105), rabbis assert that the 53rd chapter speaks of the Jewish people. A simple reference to the text can refute this belief.
  • "Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows" (Isa. 53:4). Whose grief did the Jewish people take on and whose sorrows did they carry?
  • "With his stripes we are healed" (Isa. 53:5). Who has been healed by the wounds of the Jewish people?
  • "For the transgression of my people was he stricken" (Isa. 53:8). If it is speaking of the Jewish people, then who suffered punishment for the transgressions of the Jewish people?
  • "And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death" (Isa. 53:9). When and in which grave are the Jewish people buried?
In the holy Old Testament books there are signs of the appearance of Christ (the Messiah) and in it are described his chief characteristics. Of the prophecies on the coming of Christ into the world in the Old Testament, before all else it is necessary to note the vision of the prophet Daniel, foretelling even the year of the Savior's death. “Seventy weeks are determined upon thy people and upon thy holy city, to finish the transgression, and to make an end of sins, and to make reconciliation for iniquity, and to bring in everlasting righteousness, and to seal up the vision and prophecy, and to anoint the most Holy. Know therefore and understand, that from the going forth of the commandment to restore and to build Jerusalem unto the Messiah the Prince shall be seven weeks, and threescore and two weeks: the street shall be built again, and the wall, even in troublous times. And after threescore and two weeks shall Messiah be cut off, but not for himself: and the people of the prince that shall come shall destroy the city and the sanctuary; and the end thereof shall be with a flood, and unto the end of the war desolations are determined" (Dan. 9:24-26). Week (seven) is understood as 7 years, and 70 sevens consists of 490 years. It is the timeframe for the "end of sin." Here, we are talking about Christ the Savior's atonement for people who have violated the will of God and fallen from grace. In the prophecy, the Messiah is directly indicated ("to anoint the most Holy"). To calculate the amount of time given here, one must turn to historical sources, noting the reconstruction of the city of Jerusalem, which fell as a result of the Babylonian destruction in 586. The count of seventy sevens begins from the date of the reconstruction of Jerusalem. The decree for the restoration was given by Artaxerxes Longimanus in the 20th year of his reign. He came to the throne between December 18, 465 and December 18, 464 BC. The seventh year of his reign, from which the countdown of weeks begins, comes in 458 or 457. From this time period to the time of the appearance of Christ our Lord, 69 weeks (483 years) should pass.
The Forerunner of the coming of the Messiah is also mentioned in the Old Testament. "Behold, I will send my messenger, and he shall prepare the way before me: and the Lord, whom ye seek, shall suddenly come to his temple, even the messenger of the covenant, whom ye delight in: behold, he shall come, saith the Lord of hosts" (Mal. 3:1). Dwellers in Palestine knew the Holy Scripture and saw in John, who preached repentance, the Angel of the Covenant predicted by the prophets. Thus, people from all of Jerusalem and all the outskirts of the Jordan came to him (see Mark 1:5).
In the holy books of the Old Testament, there are prophecies of all of the main events in the life of Jesus the Messiah. The prophet Micah identified the place of birth: "But thou, Bethlehem Ephratah, though thou be little among the thousands of Judah, yet out of thee shall he come forth unto me that is to be ruler in Israel; whose goings forth have been from of old, from everlasting" (Mic. 5:2).
The Word of God demonstrated the great spiritual gifts of the future Anointed One. "And there shall come forth a rod out of the stem of Jesse, and a Branch shall grow out of his roots: And the spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord" (Isa. 11:1-2). All of this was fulfilled by Jesus: "... the people were astonished at his doctrine: For he taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes" (Matt. 7:28-29).
Through the prophets, the Holy Spirit indicated a special distinguishing feature of the Messiah, the extraordinary power of wonderworking: "He will come and save you. Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, and the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped.
Then shall the lame man leap as an hart, and the tongue of the dumb sing: for in the wilderness shall waters break out, and streams in the desert" (Isa. 35:4-6). When the two men came to Jesus from John the Baptist to ask, "Art thou he that should come? or look we for another?" (Luke 7:20), the Lord before all else points to the miracles he has performed: "The blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, to the poor the gospel is preached. And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me" (Luke 7:22-23). The people knew that the Messiah would be characterized by the miracles he performed. "Then was brought unto him one possessed with a devil, blind, and dumb: and he healed him, insomuch that the blind and dumb both spake and saw. And all the people were amazed, and said, Is not this the son of David?” (Matt. 12:22-23).
A mind corrupted by sin could not notice the parts of the Old Testament in which the spiritual qualities of the promised Messiah are given: "Behold, thy King cometh unto thee: he is just, and having salvation; lowly, and riding upon an ass, and upon a colt the foal of an ass" (Zech. 9:9).
  1. The Jews, having rejected the Messiah as the incarnate Son of God, could not remain in the scope of the Revelation given in the Old Testament. Gradually, to the Law given by God, the Pharisees and scribes added 613 commandments: 365 positive commandments and 248 negative commandments.
The Lord rebukes the Hebrew teachers of the law. "For laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men" (Mark 7:8). Faith in God as a real, absolute Person—this is monotheism—is replaced by ritualism. In Judaism, the authority of the Talmud is greater than the Torah (Pentateuch). The famed rabbi Adin Steinsaltz writes, "If the Torah is the foundation of Judaism, then the Talmud is the central pillar supporting the entire spiritual and philosophical edifice. In many ways, the Talmud is the most important book in Jewish culture, the backbone of creativity and of national life. No other work has had a comparable influence on the theory and practice of Jewish life. The Jews always recognized that as a people, their preservation and development depends on the study of the Talmud" ("What is the Talmud?").
What is this "central pillar" of Judaism? I will introduce an excerpt from the Tract Sabbath, with commentary from Rabbi Pinchas Kehati: "The cripple may go out with his wooden leg; such is the decree of Rabbi Meir, but Rabbi Jose prohibits it. If the wooden leg has a receptacle for pads, it is subject to defilement. Crutches are subject to defilement by being sat or trodden upon; but one may go out with them on Sabbath and enter the outer court (of the Temple). The chair and crutches of a paralytic are subject to defilement, and one must not go out with them on the Sabbath nor enter the outer court (of the Temple). Stilts are not subject to defilement, but nevertheless one must not go out with them on Sabbath."
Commentary: "The cripple, a man with one amputated leg, may go out on the Sabbath on his wooden leg, an artificial leg, made according to the size of his shin. Such is the decree of Rabbi Meir, who believes that an artificial leg corresponds to footwear, while Rabbi Jose forbids the cripple from going out with his wooden leg on the Sabbath. According to him, it does not correspond to footwear because the cripple stands primarily with his hands on a cane, while the artificial leg is only for appearance's sake so that his physical handicap would go unnoticed. Thus, the artificial leg on Sabbath is seen as an unnecessary load, and it is prohibited to enter with it. According to the other point of view, Rabbi Jose agrees that the artificial leg equates to footwear, however he is afraid that the man will detach it and will carry over 4 cubits into the public domain, but Rabbi Meir does not have this fear.”
I risk fatiguing the reader, but I will introduce one more place from the Talmud to fully portray the spiritual deadness of ritualism. “There are two acts constituting the transfer (of things which are prohibited) on the Sabbath, which are in turn subdivided into four for a man who finds himself inside a private domain (reshut hayachid). The two acts are, however, increased to four for a man who finds himself outside in the public domain (reshut harabim). How so? For example, a mendicant stands outside (in reshut harabim) and the master of a house inside (in reshut hayachid). The mendicant passes his hand into the house (through for example a window) and puts something into the hand of the master (let's say a basket, so that he might give him a piece of bread), or (another variation) the mendicant reaches out and takes something from the master's hand (a piece of bread). In these two cases, the mendicant is breaking the law of the Sabbath, but the host is not. Or, if the master of the house (being inside) passes his hand through a window and puts, say, a piece of bread, into the hand of the mendicant, or, having put out his hand, he takes an object (a basket) from the hands of the mendicant, who is standing outside on the street, and brings it into the house, the master of the house would have broken the law of the Sabbath, but not the mendicant. This is the first part of the Mishna, which has demonstrated to us what the “two acts” of transferring objects mean, from the position of one who is inside, and from the position of one who finds himself outside. Carrying out any of these acts on the Sabbath is prohibited" (Tract Sabbath).[1]
Instead of a living faith in a merciful God and love towards one’s fellow man, entire volumes of the Talmud are filled with the sophistic disputes of various rabbinical schools over what to do with an egg laid by a chicken on the Sabbath, or about a host giving bread to a beggar, so that he does not break the Sabbath.
What a huge spiritual distance there was between the prophets and the scribes! The first to shine in the faith were those who participated in the source of heavenly wisdom, while others directed their extraordinary erudition to "solving" questions irrelevant to life. The lawyers occasionally thrashed out whether one may move a ladder from one dovecote to another on feast days.
It is obvious that religious life, in which ritualism is the determining principle, will become formalistic. "Wherefore the Lord said, Forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honour me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men" (Isa. 29:13).
Falling away from the living source of Truth will inevitably lead to dissolution and barrenness. In medieval European church art, the contrast between Christianity and Judaism was allegorically represented in the form of two female figures: the Church and the Synagogue. The south portal of the transept (cross aisle) of the cathedral in Strasbourg (approx. 1230) is decorated with such sculptures. The woman representing the Church, clearly and confidently carries a cross in her right hand as if resting on it. The straight folds of her cloak, flowing down to the ground, make her figure solid and firm. Her head is crowned. Her gaze is cast into the distance. The figure of the synagogue holds to her body a spear broken in several places. The bend of the figure repeats the broken line. Scrolls fall out of her left hand. Her head is downcast. Her eyes are blindfolded, a symbol of spiritual darkness.
  1. The next phase of Judaism's retreat from Biblical monotheism was the rise and expansion among the Jews of Kabbalah (in Hebrew qabbalah means acceptance or tradition) of mystical teachings and practices. This esoteric theosophical teaching is in spirit and letter absolutely foreign to the Holy Scripture. Two books initiate an exposition of Kabbalah: Sefer Yetzirah (the Book of Creation) and Zohar (Splendor of Radiance). The former was likely written in the sixth and seventh centuries B.C. Confirmation by the Kabbalists themselves of the existence of Sefer Yetzirah already during the time of patriarch Abraham is absolutely mythical and has no evidence. On the contrary, the presence in these books of philosophical ideas of late antiquity, such as Gnosticism, Neoplatonism, and others, completely refutes this view. The author of Zohar is believed to be the Spanish Kabbalist Moshe (Moses) de Leon. It was written in approximately 1300 A.D. The desire of modern Kabbalists to make the author of Zohar the disciple of rabbi Akiva Shimon Bar Yochai (Laitman, M. The Book of Zohar. M., 2003. p. 185)[2] , who lived in the second century A.D., contradicts the view of experts. "The Aramaic language of all eighteen of these sections is throughout the same, and throughout it displays the same individual peculiarities. This is all the more important because it is not in any sense a living language which Simeon ben Yohai and his colleagues in the first half of the second century A.D. in Palestine might have conceivably spoken. The Aramaic of the Zohar is a purely artificial affair, a literary language employed by a writer who obviously knew no other Aramaic than that of certain Jewish literary documents, and who fashioned his own style in accordance with definite subjective criteria. The expectation expressed by some scholars that philological investigation would reveal the older strata of the Zohar has not been borne out by actual research. Throughout these writings, the spirit of mediaeval Hebrew, specifically the Hebrew of the thirteenth century, is transparent behind the Aramaic facade" (Scholem, G. (1954). Major Trends in Jewish Mysticism. p. 163).[3]
Kabbalah is divided into the contemplative (Kabbalah Iyunit) and practical (Kabbalah Maasit). The central aspect of the Kabbalah is Ein Sof (The Infinite). In contrast to the God of the Holy Scriptures, Ein Sof has no name because he is without person, unknowable, and incomprehensible. No attributes can be ascribed to him. Ein Sof makes himself known in his manifestations (not to all, but to Jewish mystics). Ein Sof's chief manifestation is the original man, Adam Kadmon. Through his emanations (flows) the ten sefirot come into being, which are the attributes of God. Ten sefirot represent the mystical body of Adam Kadmon (heavenly Adam). He appears as a result of emanation and has no image or form. The earthly Adam was created in the image of heavenly Adam. The tenth sefirot is called "the Kingdom" or Malkuth. It unites all ten sefirot. In Zohar, Malkuth—or Kingdom—denotes how the Knesset (assembly) of Israel is a mystical prototype of the House of Israel (Shekhinah). In The Dialectics of Myth (XIV. 3), Aleksei Losev writes, “As a very well-educated Jew and great expert of Kabbalistic and Talmudic literature (from which I, with the nasty habits of a European observer, sought to learn exclusively about the Neoplatonic influences in Kabbalah) told me, the essence of all Kabbalah does not at all consist in pantheism, as liberal scholars think, who compare the doctrine of Ein Sof and the Sephirot with Neo-Platonism, but rather with pan-Israelitism: the Kabbalistic God needs Israel for His own salvation, He was incarnated in Israel and became it. Therefore the myth of the world domination by a deified Israel, which is forever contained in God.”
Kabbalists have established a correspondence among the different sefirot with parts of the human body. Becoming familiar with this primitive mythological arrangement of the structure of the universe, it becomes difficult to ignore the question that Kabbalists themselves do not ask: What is the source of this "knowledge"? How does one manage to conclude that the sefirot of the Crown (Keter) is the brow, the Tiferet is the chest, Victory (Netzach) and Majesty (Hod) is man's hip?
The esoteric teachings of Sefer Yetzirah and the Zohar are fundamentally incompatible with the biblical teaching on God, the world, man, and humanity's path to salvation. Contemplative Kabbalah represents a combination of elements of Gnosticism of the second and third centuries A.D. and Neo-Platonism. From the Gnostics, it borrows the teaching of the 10 eons, which comprise the pleroma (universal fullness). Dualism is the link between Gnostics and Kabbalists; the idea of eternal enmity began with good (light) and evil (darkness). Kabbalah's dualistic world view finds a direct expression in Sefer Yetzirah: "Also Elohim made every object, one opposite the other: good opposite evil, evil opposite good, good from good, evil from evil, the good delineates the evil and the evil delineates the good, good is kept for the good and evil is kept for the evil.” It is evident that the teaching, which ascribes evil an ontological status, leads to the justification of evil. In contrast, according to the Holy Scripture, evil was not created by God, but arose as a result of the abuse of the gift of freedom given by God to his creatures, Angels and mankind.
Kabbalistic teaching is an obvious expression of pantheism, a complete retreat from monotheism. God and the world are understood as one complete whole. The world is only a manifestation of God. Pantheism is fraught with internal contradictions. Its logical consequence is inevitably first the derogation of God, and next, denial of him, because all of the world's imperfections are attributed to him.
Kabbalists divide the world into male and female elements. The right and left spheres are respectively male and female. The world is presented as a loving union, as the unification of male and female elements. The relationship between the spheres is interpreted with the help of gender symbolism.
Kabbalah presents itself as a fantastical mix of esoteric occultism, blended with pagan religious and philosophical ideas. It attests to a complete regression from the great and saving teachings of the Bible with its deep and sustained monotheism.
Hieromonk Job (Gumerov)
[1] This appears not to be a direct quote from Tract Sabbath, but commentary based on Tract Sabbath: http://www.evrey.com/sitep/talm/index.php3?trkt=shabbat&menu=19. —Trans.
[2] This cite may not be accurate to the English version. —Trans.
[3] Page number may not be accurate to English version.—Trans.
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2024.05.18 19:23 HedjCanada Review of the Gem

Hello Normally I’d scour across the internet for recent reviews of different cruise ships and routes but sometimes fall short. I’d love to get into every fine detail about this recent trip from May 10-17 but I feel like I’d be endless.
Quick background about myself, I’m in my 20’s and this is the second cruise I’ve gone on with NCL. First one was with the Sun to Bahamas back in 2019 which was honestly one of the few vacations that I consider very memorable.
This particular cruise started in Boston, a day at sea, 3 days in Bermuda, another day at sea, 8 hours in Bar Harbor and finally back to the Boston port. Total of 7 days.
We arrived at the port around 12pm so the traffic wasn’t super bad but all I can say is people need to watch out or you won’t even make it onto the boat to begin with haha. Port workers were lovely and were dancing to get the mood going, even the cops were getting into it. Security was fast, same with check in. Coming onto the boat we were greeted with 2 employees who directed us to the atrium where 2 other employees showed us how to put on life jackets and took our info. Apparently we didn’t have to go to our muster station since she showed us how to put the life jackets on and where to go, made it even easier to just start the cruise without worrying about anything else which I didn’t know was possible.
We got 2 drinks but was not told about paying state tax on them, no issue since it was just $3. At this point it was 1:30pm and we decided to get to our floor with the idea our room was ready (I know please don’t make fun of me). It was a family inside stateroom for the 4 of us. Obviously it wasn’t ready but they allowed us to put our bags into the room. Rest of the day was just full of activities and a whole lot of drinking.
First day at sea was just more activities and getting to know our cruise activities director who was literally everywhere and very friendly, she definitely is in her element and loves what she does.
The 3 days in Bermuda were good. I wish there were more ferry’s that took you from the ship to St. George, especially later ones but you can always take taxis or mini buses. I’ve taken both and have the impression that they do not like each other at all however taking taxis were definitely cheaper. I read enough reviews about Bermuda to know how expensive it can get and while it is true, I’m fortunate enough to be financially comfortable where I can spend quite a bit each day I was there without having to worry about the cost of it. Looking over my receipts today definitely made my eyebrows go up because with on-island excursions, taxis, rentals, food and souvenirs all 3 days came out to over 1.5k+ but it was definitely worth it to me. Great island and surprisingly very safe. Met locals and went to not so popular areas to get away from the crowds and it was worth it as well. I did get a moped and while it was my first time riding, it was easier to simply just ride than to think about what if I fell haha.
Tons of activities on board during the 3 days.
Next day at sea was full of activities and shows, which were great.
Maine was our next stop and imo it was beautiful but not much to do. Tours booked up immediately and we simply walked, shopped, and ate at the local restaurants which were great. Jordans on Cottage St. was good, as well as Galyns on Main St..
Arrival to Boston was definitely the worst part of the cruise since it felt like there was no A/C onboard and organization was a nightmare.
Now… I have a few points to make.
Food was mediocre. Not bad but not good. Only the specialty restaurants were pretty decent.
Casino was full of degens haha. Jokes aside, I have never been in a small casino where more than half of the people were smoking cigarettes, made the place a bit unbearable at times.
The dance show followed by the crew appreciation speech was definitely one of the highlights of this trip. I’ve been to big shows in Las Vegas, New York, France, and others but this shows production blew it all out of the water, especially it being on a literal cruise. Beyond amazing and want me to be honest? Seeing the crew on stage who keeps the ship together everyone in my group a bit emotional. Seeing the people I’ve had conversations with throughout the trip and getting to know them as well makes the speech more touching. The crew definitely work well together and I love them.
The older folks (60+)were very and I mean very critical of the food and liquor. I’d hear complaining basically 24/7 from the older crowds but not so much of the younger ones. Honesty I saw more complaining how the sports Channel was playing boring sports and not the Bruin games against Florida haha. When it was played at the sports bar it was packed, basically every public tv screen all around the ship had at least 20 people around it. It was loud, lots of cussing, and the Boston accents were HEAVY. I loved it.
It was a good cruise and having 4 people in the small inside stateroom was cramped but did not get hot at all. I normally go for a balcony but this trip was with in-laws who needed assistance and we booked very last minute so balcony wasn’t an option.
All in all I give this trip a 8/10. Even though the buffet and other food was mediocre, the vibe was always there throughout the ship during the full 7 days.
I’d be more than happy to answer any other questions if ya’ll have any.
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2024.05.18 18:59 djavulensfitta Short story written by Joost (Brüders auf Berlin)

Hi, I know some of you have been interested in Joost’s written stuff, so this is one of them. It’s a short story that Joost wrote for Boekenweek voor Jongeren (Book Week for Young People) in 2019. There’s more info about it here (in Dutch) https://www.vice.com/nl/article/qvgzpv/joost-klein-schreef-een-kort-verhaal-over-een-wilde-nacht-in-berlijn and there was also this promo video for it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wx7wxnpxps0. It's been translated from Dutch - maybe not the most perfect translation but it's readable. Original in Dutch here. Enjoy

"How come he suddenly has cash?" I looked at Gurb, but he avoided my gaze. Louis never had money and yet he was buying another round. Meanwhile, a Moby song was playing and nothing made sense. "If he has money for drinks, he can surely pay me back, right?"
Just a few hours ago, I was alone in Berlin. Now, ten hours later, I'm standing in some obscure techno club with my best friends. Loud rock music with drunken shouting. "Hey, Miss Murder, can I make beauty stay if I take my life?" I woke up that day with a mild hangover from the lonely yet people-filled night before. Perfect conditions for a 20-year-old dropout.
The Hard Rock Café was the most beautifully ugly place in Berlin. Gurb had driven for seven hours straight in his mother's car, but we didn't notice. An iconic black Mini Cooper. Your body leads your mind, the beat never stops, and you can conquer the world. Louis threw in another crazy dance move. We were happy.
"Do you want another drink, brother?" Gurb asked me, half shouting. An evening filled with rhetorical questions. He saw me dancing and already knew the answer.
Gurb always had money. Louis, on the other hand, never did. Louis was also the youngest of us three. He had just turned 18. I wouldn't call him a cunning fox. More like a jack-of-all-trades. Like the time he made a lot of money on a Wadden Island with a group of boys. They sold large blocks of hash.
"Crazy dude!" I shouted at him. He yelled something back.
"Do you remember back then?" Louis said.
"Back then? Back then? Yeah man, of course!" I had no idea what he meant. "Do you mean the party?"
"Do you mean the party, he says! This guy. When I look at you like this, it makes me happy. The exact same kid is here letting loose just like back in high school!"
We knew each other from secondary school. He joined when I was in the second grade. He was very intelligent. Too young, too much knowledge of the world. His mother is from Brazil. We often went to his mother's place to play on the Playstation Louis and I had bought together.
I lived everywhere at that time. In the crisis shelter where I stayed for a while, for example, I wasn't allowed to have a Playstation. So we set it up in an accessible place, near school. It was always fun with Louis. Going together to the Apple Store. Taking all kinds of photos with all the webcams, posting them on Hyves, and then leaving. Louis always knew how to cheer me up.
"Aaaaaaaaaa!" There was Gurb with five drinks in his hands. Gurb was wearing a blue checkered shirt. Two buttons undone. Hair slicked back. "You look good, brother!"
"You look fresh too! We all look fresh!" Gurb said enthusiastically. Louis was wearing a completely white outfit. We quickly bought this before going out. He also bleached his hair.
"You look like the Brazilian cousin of James Dean in these clothes," I said. Louis laughed. "Let me take a picture."
Suddenly, the DJ switched to some kind of techno. "Ah, here Berlin briefly takes off its mask." I was fine with it all. Louis was talking to a lady.
Voluptuous breasts, I thought to myself. He gave her one of his two drinks.
"He's with a girl and he's thinking with his dick," I said to Gurb. "Let him be, tonight Berlin is ours!"
The bass kept pounding. "I simply don't have the patience for the club," I said to Gurb. He looked surprised. Like a sweet dog, tilting his head. "I'm just waiting for tomorrow. Can't do my thing here. Don't have patience for the already known. I want adventure and I want it now!"
Gurb started laughing. "Patience is a virtue." Yes. Patience is all well and good, but I think it's a waste of my time. Gurb grabbed my shoulder.
"I think it's time for another beer."
Louis and I were walking through Leeuwarden a year ago when suddenly a red Ford Ka stopped in front of us. It was Gurb, casually driving around the city. He invited us into his car. We hopped in. Since that afternoon, the three of us were together. A few months later, Louis got a tattoo on his ribs in honor of our friendship. It was the name of our group chat. Braddar Force Indigo.
There were also days when Gurb would take me for a drive around Friesland. He reminded me how beautiful Friesland is. The world doesn't spin there. The newspapers I threw away in the Stiens forest in 2011 could still be lying in the same spot, so to speak.
Just before midnight, I found myself in line for the restroom. My eyes fell on a pair of striking shoes. Cigarette smoke invaded my nose for the fourth time. "Müssen Sie eine Zigarette haben?" a female voice spoke to me. I felt like Tom Hanks in the final scene of Angels & Demons, where the new pope first steps onto the balcony. The curtains opened. There I was, witnessing an important moment in history. I was just told how I was sent by God, but my ears didn't want to hear any of it. At least that's how I felt. My mouth was empty. I had no words left. That's when I knew for sure. Berlin might really be as crazy as literally everyone says.
Dark blond, silky hair. Was this real beauty then? She wouldn't look 40, but I think she was. A true woman. Beautiful in all her elegance. I always joked about being interested in older women, but tonight one stood in front of me. "I don't smoke," I said to her.
Someone tapped me. "Please, just go to the toilet!" He was right. I hadn't peed in a while either. My urine was cloudy. "Glomerulonephritis," I said to myself on the toilet. This is an unusual condition. It's an inflammation in the kidneys, I thought I remembered. They should never have given me access to Google.
The evening progressed, and Louis kept buying rounds. "But seriously now. How does Louis suddenly have all that money for drinks?" I asked Gurb. He was outside smoking with a group of Swiss girls. I had strategically positioned myself so that I could always leave the crime scene if necessary.
"You shouldn't ask me," said Gurb. He was laughing with the temporary girlfriend group of Louis. Gurb has a beard. A lot of chicks like that. I get it too.
As much as I enjoyed Louis and Gurb being here for me, something didn't sit right with me. It couldn't just be about the money. "What's up with him?" I heard one of the Swiss girls say to Gurb.
Those kinds of questions really tire me out. "Not much, with you?" I replied.
They all started laughing. "That's not what she meant, brother," said Gurb.
"I couldn't care less whether she meant it or not. Send that brace-face back to Switzerland. Don't drive me crazy, alright!"
Actually, I hadn't drunk that much that evening. "Two vodka Sprites, please!" It's rare for me to get just one drink. "I always get two drinks, then you have to wait shorter for the third one!" Maybe the alcohol was affecting me more than I wanted to admit. Oh well, it was still the three of us against the world.
"Nice shoes, are those Prada?" I asked a random girl at the bar.
"No, these are fake. Why would I buy real ones for 600 dollars if I could just buy these for 20?"
"..."
I'm not very good at that. Talking. To women.
Louis and Gurb were in the smoking area now. It was less blue than the dance floor itself. My clothes already stank, so a visit to the smoking area couldn't hurt. "These people are so underground!" Gurb shouted. Louis was filming him with his phone. "These people..." There was a brief pause. As if Gurb forgot the only line he had. "...so underground!" All three of us burst into laughter. The alcohol flowed through our veins as if it came from the purest mountains. People seemed doubled and the room was full. We had been in the same club in Berlin for several hours.
"Leonardo! What are you hiding from the big boss?" I sometimes called Louis ‘DiCaprio.’ "You a rich guy, now?" I said, with an accent as if I were from the Bronx.
Louis started laughing. "Eh, you know nothing. Bullshit talk."
I had to laugh too. What was I even worried about? Friends are friends, with or without money. That shouldn't matter. Louis probably just worked for that money. Maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought. Maybe he just had enough to buy rounds. But what if my gut feeling was right? That feeling was never wrong. Except for that one time at the Holland Casino in Groningen. Even the best of us have slip-ups. I was just getting worked up again. When it comes down to it, Louis is one of the sweetest guys I know. I had to let it go. After all, it's still Louis.
"I think I'm going to have sex soon, man," Louis said.
"With who?" I asked immediately.
"That one girl."
"Which one?"
"The one with the boobs."
"Oh, her. Just be careful."
"What kind of reaction is that?" Louis asked indignantly.
I'd only had four drinks, but I was acting like a mess. Louis was right. I didn't understand myself. Where was my head at? I'm here in Berlin, supposed to be having the time of my life, but here I am feeling lonely and sad again. Joost once again couldn't control his emotions.
"Sorry," I suddenly said to Louis. "Sorry for my behavior. Been acting dumb towards you all night. It's unnecessary." Sometimes I have that. Mood swings. "Know that crime is never the solution. We've talked about this so many times. Yes, it's tempting and sometimes easy money. I sometimes find it amusing too, but it's always hypothetical. Ask me for help. I can help you, even with illegal things. I'll always have your back." The dancing was kind of over.
The words I had just placed on Louis's plate came from my heart. My Frisian, irregular boys' heart.
Crying in the club. I had never seen myself like that. Crying, yes. In the club, no. I never understood the taboo around crying. Or emotions in general. I saw myself in the mirror. They weren't tears of joy. They weren't tears of sadness either. It was me letting everything go. All the emotions I had ever felt. The emotions I felt between my brother and sister and myself because they wanted to take on a parental role over me, but I was in puberty, so I pushed them away. The emotions I felt when my old neighbors were supposed to take care of my dog, but didn't tell me that he was bitten by one of their dogs. They didn't have money for the surgery, they later told me. They were ashamed of their lack of money. My dog died from this injury. Even the emotions that were all jumping at once during the retake for my swimming diploma A, I let go of.
No emotions. Just for a moment, not feeling anything. Is that too much to ask for?
"You still don’t smoke?"
It had to be the voice of the woman with the cigarettes. I looked over my shoulder through the mirror. It was her. The one with dark blond, silky hair.
"Not to be rude, but this is the men’s room," I said. She took a step closer and kissed me on my lips. It tasted like more. We started kissing. It had been a while since I had had female contact at this level. It probably didn't look good and it didn't feel good either. She started kissing my neck. Slowly, I noticed the pressure in the erectile tissues of my penis starting to increase. "I really don't have time for this!" I thought to myself. The woman with the cigarettes started to slowly sink down until she was on her knees. I didn't want this. Not now, not like this. She unraveled my penis from my Polo Ralph Lauren underwear. Her tongue was blue. It was probably from cheap shots of alcohol.
Was this real beauty then? Was this the beginning or the end of her story? And had I become the boy my parents hoped I would be? I thought about the fact that this was once someone's little daughter. Somewhere in the world, an old man might be wondering what his daughter is doing. Am I really putting pleasure above my own morals and values?
With my semi-erect circumcised penis still exposed, I lifted her up. After giving her a kiss on her forehead, I pulled up my pants and left the toilets.
It was the usual last hour in any club ever. I met Louis and Gurb at the bar. "Should we have another drink?" I asked Gurb. "I feel like having a cocktail. Something sweet. Lots of sugar. What about you?"
Gurb looked at the menu. "A cognac would go down well right now."
"A cognac? You're only nineteen!" Gurb and Louis laughed. "Two Tequila Sunrises please!" I called to the bartender. "Also, two beers! Thanks!" I also got a beer for Louis. At first, I didn't want to, but I didn't want to spoil the mood either. Besides, I didn't want to show too much that it bothered me so much.
We danced away the last minutes. The club closed, and we decided to walk with the group of Swiss girls. Apparently, they were staying nearby.
As I lagged behind the group, one of them tried to start a conversation with me. "Are you okay?" she asked kindly.
"I'm fine. Just had too much beer. Makes me sleepy." Not true at all, but I've heard people say that.
"You’re tired? The fun has only just began!" And as she said this, she pulled something out of her inner pocket. Her clenched fist, shielded by a half jacket. Who is this girl, anyway? I thought to myself. She opened her hand flat, and right in the center of her palm lay two small pills with a smiley face on them. At least, they looked like it.
"Oh, I don’t do drugs. Sorry."
"Me neither!" And she swallowed a pill. "Now it’s your turn... Or are you scared?"
Scared? Who did this crazy Swiss witch (with really beautiful eyes) think she was. With her "are you scared". I'll show her who's scared.
"Scared? I’m not scared." I picked up the remaining pill and swallowed it.
Everything went in slow motion. Was this who I had become? Was this the same boy from high school? And just before I could swallow, I spat out the pill. She was shocked. I picked up the pill again, dried it with my jacket, and put it back in her fist. "Maybe later!" I shouted, running back to the group, over my shoulder.
I have nothing to say to 9 out of 10 peers I come across. Of course, I can be social. I can also have fun with random people in random situations, but that night, it just tired me out. I also didn't understand what we were doing there. Those girls found me strange anyway. Suddenly, I was the fifth wheel.
"We know this place where they go until 7 in the morning!" The girl leader of the group spoke. I wanted to go home. "If you guys want, you can go. Don't worry about me," I said to Gurb and Louis. The boys had a brief discussion. We agreed to stay for just a little while longer for some drinks. I consented. I was thirsty. "I'll have a Fanta, Louis."
Gurb had reached the last cigarette in his pack. Louis and a girl from the group were nowhere to be found. It didn't even bother me. This guy just walks around with some cash in his pocket and all hell breaks loose. After a night full of stimuli, I understood Louis. Of course, I understood Louis. He's a young god. Handsome, smart guy. But that didn't make me any less angry. It was purely about trust for me. Something inside me said I should stop subconsciously expecting things from people too. It prevents disappointment.
"Hotel please!" I jokingly suggested to Gurb. "Should you call Louis or should I?" I added. Gurb immediately grabbed his Android smartphone and called Louis. He put the call on speaker.
"Are you ready?" Gurb asked.
"Yeah. Sort of."
"What do you mean?"
"We didn't have sex."
"That's fine, right? Tomorrow's a new day!"
"I think I'm in love, man," Louis said.
"...," Gurb said, chuckling as he let out a sigh.
Once we arrived at the girls' hostel, it was already getting light. Louis was thankfully back. There were stains on his pants, around his knees. My focus was solely on arranging a taxi. Although the boys were still flirting, I was really done now. "How are we going to pay for this taxi?" I said a bit too loudly.
There was a silence. "Don't worry. I still have cash," Gurb said.
"Yeah, I knew you would," I replied.
My words clearly hit Louis. "What do you mean by that?" he said.
It was as if time stood still for a few seconds. "Exactly what I said. Better listen." Louis pulled out a small wad of green bills from his pocket. At least 400 euros. "I don't even want to see that money," I reacted. I walked away.
I'll just order a taxi myself.
"Why are you walking away now?" Gurb said.
"Twelve hours ago, I was alone too, and I had a lot more fun then."
"Do you really want to know how I got this money?" Louis said.
Yes, I did want to know. My whole evening revolved around that damn money.
He took a second of pause before he began speaking. "The answer lies in the Mini."
What on earth could be in Gurb's mother's car? Louis was trying to get into my head. "Taxi!"
Once in the taxi, the division was clear. Gurb was upfront, chatting animatedly with the driver. All adventures ever were recounted. Louis and I in the back. One of my best friends since I was thirteen. Funny how things turn out. It was quiet between us. I was in my head, rehearsing how I would bring up the money again. It didn't add up, and he knew it himself. "I don't care, you know," I said, hoping he'd break.
"What don't you care about?"
"About that money."
"What money? You're really a crazy woozy man." Louis burst out laughing again.
On the other hand, it was silent. Gurb had started talking about the driver's family. The driver didn't appreciate it. Gurb meant well. The driver smelled of alcohol. Or was it me? His nails were polished. Maybe his wife was a specialist. I bite my nails myself. Like now.
"In the Mini, oh yeah."
"Shut up. Illegal man."
"You'll never know."
"Stop playing. Just say it!"
Louis grabbed my head, pulled himself towards me, and brought his mouth to my right ear. "Why so serious?" he whispered. He didn't want to tell me.
"But always with this damn money, huh?" I almost shouted at Louis. I broke every silence within a radius of 10 kilometers.
"I'm trying my best, bro. It is what it is. I can't make it any different," he replied. It was clearly bothering him deeply. He ran his hands through his hair. "Sometimes people have to do things. And you know that better than anyone. Sometimes they have to do things they don't really want to or aren't supposed to do."
I knew this spiel all too well. Through all the drunken haziness, I suddenly saw a small glimmer of light. A tiny spark of sincerity. Louis was serious this time.
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to involve you in this. I'm sorry," sweat dripped from his forehead.
"You're serious, huh? Damn, man. What mess have you gotten yourself into now? Worse than Terschelling?" Worse than Terschelling would mean stolen goods. Maybe even violence.
"It's not what you think."
"The Adlon Hotel, right?" the driver chimed in. Always saved by the bell, that Louis.
Suddenly I hit my head against the seat in front of me. Of course, I wasn't wearing my seatbelt. The last thing I saw was Gurb waking up in panic from his drunken stupor. One by one, I started losing my senses. It started with the feeling in my fingers. For a brief moment, everything wasn't quite black, and I could only see a vague pattern of colors repeating inside my eyelids. You could compare it to the brief moment after the commercial break before the movie starts in the cinema. The movie was about to begin.
I knew I wasn't dying. At least not yet. Not like this. Not after an overall mediocre night out in Berlin. I found comfort in the image I forced myself to see. It was all in my head. There I was, unconscious.
I saw myself in a third-person point of view. It wasn't like I was actually leaving my body. More like there was a webcam hanging in one of the upper corners of the taxi.
As a child, I used to dream a lot about death. Nights spent awake.
At some point, I developed a kind of compulsive behavior. I kept swaying my torso from left to right with my hands under my head. It became almost like a workout before bedtime. Every night.
I called it dream shuffling. Just like I had learned to shuffle puzzle pieces or playing cards. Making things a little exciting for yourself. But what I almost never told anyone was that I was scared. I was afraid of burglars, who were very agile and muscular.
Especially afraid that they would murder me. I really wanted to know what death was like. It scared me.
These fear visions originated during an all-inclusive vacation in Turkey. I was 6 years old and already in bed. There was a big old TV in our hotel room, so I could secretly watch TV from bed. Every evening, my parents sat on the balcony. Here they discussed their day while enjoying a glass of alcohol. There was a Japanese animated series on TV. In the few seconds that I watched, I saw a scary creature climbing a sort of apartment complex via the balconies. The creature had hundreds of teeth and blond hair. It quickly entered to decapitate the people, then drained them and, as a final insult, robbed them. Dozens of carcasses of dead people were scattered around the apartment complex. The complex on TV resembled the resort where we were in reality, and the TV world merged with my surroundings. I became part of it. I saw people watching. No matter how loudly I screamed for help, they didn't react. The sun became very bright, and the people turned into nothing more than shadows. As the intensity of the sun increased, something became clear to me. These were not people. They had a sort of orange skin. Where I had previously thought it was their nose and mouth, it turned out that these shadowy figures did not have such physical features. They simply had three holes in their heads. The police tried to do something, but in vain. Since then, we always kept the light on in the hallway outside my bedroom. By rocking back and forth, from left to right, I could glance fleetingly at the beam of light under the door. That bit of light, escaping from the hallway into my room, gave me an advantage. It allowed me to stay one step ahead of the burglars. Pretty smart, right?
"From Jamaica to the world!
It’s just love. Why must the children play in the street?"
It was Bob Sinclar with "Love Generation" speaking to us through the taxi's speakers. We were stationary. I was conscious again, but I didn't feel alive at all. "How long was I out?" I asked Louis.
I could tell by his expression that he was relieved. Relieved that I was back. "One minute," he almost apologized. Louis gave me a pat on the shoulder. Gurb, on the other hand, was sleeping. He slept like a baby cub.
I put my right index finger on my forehead. It felt wet, but it wasn't blood. Blood feels different. Meanwhile, I kept hearing whistling.
"Be the love generation! Oh yeah!" It was still that same song by Bob Sinclar.
The earlier scent of alcohol had now been replaced by the smell of incense. It smelled like the same incense I had in my room. Sold to me as Tibetan 39 incense. I had bought it at a coffee shop in Rotterdam. I pulled up my notes on my phone. "Who lights incense in a CAR????" I let Louis read from my screen. He took the phone from my hands and started typing as well.
"Look at Gurb >>>" Gurb was so deeply asleep that his head drooped. His seatbelt held his torso in place, but his head ended up on the driver's shoulder. The man didn't mind. He didn't move. I made eye contact with the driver through the rearview mirror, and soon I found him. He winked at me.
We arrived at the hotel. Gurb awakened from his alcoholic hibernation. "Who's going to pay for the taxi?" I asked. Clearly rhetorical. I already knew I would take this one for the team, as usual. I refused to use Louis's money. It was uncomfortably quiet. "By card please," I said.
"I'll always protect you, Louis. You really need to know that. I care about you like my own little brother. I'll always try to help you. But you have to be honest with me. Can you do that?" Louis didn't hesitate.
"Yes. Yes, I can. I'll show you. It's really in the Mini." Meanwhile, the taxi driver's card machine indicated that I had insufficient funds. That couldn't be right. Maybe I had withdrawn too much that evening.
"I have cash in the hotel room," Gurb said to me. Gurb informed the driver in broken English that he would go get his cash. The driver agreed. Money is money, whether it comes now or later. As long as it feels good in your hands.
Louis and I got out of the taxi. "You're not going to light a cigarette now, are you?" Louis wanted to smoke. "Especially for stress. That's really for people who can't handle pain. You need to feel pain. Pain needs to brand you for the rest of your life so you finally learn not to do such stupid things." It fell silent again. My blood boiled. All pots were on the stove. I felt like Gordon Ramsay in the kitchen. "Show me then. Do it."
Louis remained silent and walked around the corner of the hotel. Towards the parking lot. I followed him. "You're not going to find much," said Louis.
"Why not? Are you a magician?"
"No. Just. Not much."
"So there's suddenly magically nothing in Gurb's car?"
"Stop. Get out. Get out of my head!" Louis shouted. Louis had had enough. He was done with the parade. Normally we dealt with hypothetical stories. Only this time it wasn't a joke. I was sure now. Louis had dropped his mask. The revolution had begun. The government had fallen and the dikes had broken. The people were in charge. "You shouldn't freak out like this. Always wanting more. Sweet boy, think about yourself."
After Gurb gave the money to the driver, he came to us. He had a smile on his face, lit a cigarette, and exclaimed, "Brothers!" Once with us, he hugged me. He started laughing. "Maybe I haven't been entirely honest either." Sometimes Gurb seemed like a 38-year-old man. In a positive way. He exuded confidence in a way I didn't often see. Affectionate, with a hint of authority.
We stood in the middle of a large parking lot. "Look. We've reached a point where I might not even care anymore. You guys are teasing me." It did matter to me. Maybe more than ever. I was supposed to be two steps ahead of them, but I couldn't figure it out. "I give up."
The delightful silence returned. Louis and Gurb looked at each other. "You guys win. Apparently, I'm not to be trusted as a friend."
From Louis's expression, I could tell he disagreed with this. "Not true. Come to the car."
We arrived at the car. Louis unlocked it and searched for the trunk button. Gurb had started his third cigarette. "It's a corpse, isn't it? Say it now. I can still help you. I can still help us. I can book a ticket for you. We can get you out of here," I said to Louis.
"Just wait. Nutcase."
"Why won't you accept my help?"
Louis started laughing nervously. Or at least it seemed that way. Perhaps a sly laugh too. Had Louis killed someone? "It's not a corpse. That can't be. You wouldn't be stupid enough to use their ID. You're smarter than that. So it must be something stolen. Haven't you found that button yet?"
Suddenly, we heard a click. Louis had found the button. Somewhere, I didn't want to know. Shouldn't I just trust Louis? Wasn't that the whole point of friendship?
Finally, the moment had arrived. I placed my right hand in the slot of the rear hatch. Something in me doubted. Still. I still doubted. Louis looked dead serious. "You wanted to know, didn't you? Then you also have to be man enough to accept it." Louis was clearly not joking. Or was he acting again? "Pussy," Louis said. I looked away. "You're afraid of what's inside, huh? You're afraid of the real Louis." He began to laugh manically. "Open that thing, man. Nutcase!"
I started laughing too. Why did I make such a big deal out of it? Sweat broke out from every pore in my body. It was even a bit damp in the no man's land between my scrotum and my anus. A tropical climate. It had been quite an adventure the whole evening. I took my hand off the rear hatch and first gave Louis a hug. Not some half-hearted birthday wish. No, a real hug.
"It's okay, buddy," Louis said to me. I had no idea what he meant by that. It fit the moment though.
It was really time now. I opened the rear hatch.
"Where is it?"
"In front of you," said Louis.
"In some secret compartment?"
There was nothing in the trunk. Absolutely nothing. An empty trunk. For an empty evening, in an empty Berlin, with an empty group of guys. I didn't get it.
"You won, man," I whispered. "You finally fucking done did it."
I couldn't believe my eyes. Empty? There was still nothing in the car. Louis just stood there. Emotionally, I was a wreck. I had felt every emotion this evening. Seen every color and smelled every scent. I was done. My body was ready. No longer needed. My mission was complete.
"But why did you do this?" I asked Louis, laughing.
He scratched his chin. It felt like the end of a bad movie.
"I sold our Playstation. Wanted to tell you only after I had sorted everything out again. I terminated my lease. Had some debts, and I also wanted to have some money for once. Once not empty-handed in the club. Once not dependent on my best friends. This is not who I am... I know how much that Playstation meant to you. It was ours together. I should have just told you."
"… and how does Gurb actually make his money?"
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2024.05.18 18:44 thepoetrymanOF 8. Revenge

He thought he could get away with it. He thought that the harm he caused to someone else would simply fade away into the shadows, never to be brought to light. And for three years, he was right. He went about his life as if nothing had happened, while the person he had hurt suffered in silence.
But then, on the exact same day three years later, everything changed. Suddenly, his life was falling apart at the seams. His relationships crumbled, his career went up in flames, and he found himself facing one misfortune after another. He couldn't understand why everything was going so wrong, but deep down, he knew that he had brought this upon himself.
It was as if karma had finally caught up with him, exacting its revenge in the most brutal way possible. And while he couldn't explain how or why this was happening to him, there was a nagging feeling at the back of his mind that someone was behind it all. Someone who knew what he had done, and had sent this karmic retribution his way.
He couldn't prove it, of course. There was no evidence, no smoking gun that could point him in the direction of his tormentor. But he couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more going on here, something beyond his understanding.
And so he suffered, day after day, as his life continued to unravel. He tried to make amends, to right the wrongs he had committed, but it was too late. The damage had been done, and there was no going back.
In the end, he was left with nothing but the bitter taste of regret. Regret for what he had done, and for the fact that he had thought he could get away with it. But most of all, he felt regret for the fact that he had hurt someone else, and that he had caused them so much pain.
As for the person who had sent the karma his way? They remained in the shadows, content in the knowledge that justice had been served. They didn't need recognition or thanks for what they had done; they simply knew that they had done the right thing, and that wasn't enough.
Little did the man know that the karma he received was not the end of his punishment. The person who had sent the karma had bigger plans for him, plans that would take nine long years to unfold. The punishment would be slow and subtle, and it would be designed to make him question his own sanity.
Over the next few years, strange things began to happen to the man. He would hear whispers in the night, see shadows darting out of the corner of his eye, and feel an overwhelming sense of dread whenever he entered certain rooms. He tried to brush it off as paranoia, but deep down, he knew that something wasn't right.
As time went on, the incidents became more frequent and more intense. The man would wake up in the middle of the night to find his possessions moved or broken, and strange symbols etched into the walls. He tried to rationalize it away, but the fear continued to grow inside of him.
Eventually, he found himself on the brink of madness. He couldn't trust his own perceptions anymore, and he was convinced that he was being haunted by some malevolent force. But what he didn't know was that the force was not supernatural, but rather the result of someone who had carefully planned their revenge over the course of nine long years.
And as the man lay there, alone and terrified, he realized that he had been wrong. He had thought that he could get away with hurting someone, but in the end, the only thing he had achieved was to bring his own downfall upon himself - Karma
I met an old man a few months ago, he told me this story before he died. His name was John.
John spoke of a man who had caused harm to someone else and thought that he could get away with it. But after three years, karma caught up with him in the most brutal way possible, and his life fell apart at the seams. The man suffered day after day, and eventually, strange things began to happen to him, driving him to the brink of madness.
John then revealed that he was the person behind the karmic revenge. He had carefully planned his revenge over the course of nine long years, and he was satisfied with the outcome.
He explained to me that the meaning of the story was that justice always prevails, even if it takes time. He believed that it was essential to hold people accountable for their actions, and if the law couldn't do it, then you should.
John thought that revenge was worth it because it was the only way to make the man pay for the harm he had caused. He believed that sometimes, people needed to take matters into their own hands to ensure that justice was served.
His story made me reflect on the consequences of our actions and the importance of accountability. It reminded me that our actions have a ripple effect that can last for years, and it's up to us to take responsibility for them.
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2024.05.18 16:56 kenUdigitt Novel Chapter 415

Disclaimer: I do not speak Korean. This is purely translated by machine with a lot of cleanup afterward. With that in mind, I am open to criticism to improve these translations. Enjoy!
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Chapter 415
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The battle commenced with alarming rapidity.
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As a thick fog cascaded across the wilderness like a tidal wave, tens of thousands of monsters amassed before him. Hovering above the ground, the dark-skinned Grand Mage, Magic Johnson, declared the start of the conflict with a single, potent command:
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「Fire Cannon.」
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Swoosh.
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Mana surged around him, conjuring five flames from the ether. They swelled, taking on the form and fury of cannonballs, before hurtling forward.
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Whoosh, Boom!
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The black tide of monsters was cleaved in two. The searing heat charred flesh and bone, liquefying the very earth beneath them.
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This devastating spell incinerated a thousand creatures in an instant.
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Yet the relentless tide of monsters pressed on, undeterred, as did Magic Johnson.
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「Water Blaster.」
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The air, once dry as sand from the Fire Cannon, now held a damp moisture.
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Spreading his arms, Magic Johnson summoned a colossal wave that towered behind him.
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It was a defiance of the laws of nature.
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It was pure magic, a display of unparalleled might from the preeminent War Mage among his peers.
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「Cover them.」
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Gone was the jovial, smiling visage of Magic Johnson. In its place was a look of deep, intense determination.
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With a sweeping gesture, he cast a vast, dark shadow over the advancing monsters.
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Crash!
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Powered by mana, the wave crashed down, its immense pressure exploding the bodies of the monsters.
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As the flames dwindled and the ground soaked, Magic Johnson was already prepared for his next maneuver.
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「Strike down. Lightning Rain.」
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In an instant, dark clouds swarmed above the monsters, unleashing a barrage of lightning bolts.
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Crack! Fizz!
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- Roar!
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- Aaaargh!
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Lightning ravaged the sky and earth alike.
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Blackened gargoyles and griffins toppled from the sky, while the wet earth conducted electricity.
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Living monsters cringed and keeled over, screaming in agony, as the undead disintegrated into ash.
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Amidst this awe-inspiring chaos, a groan of disbelief was heard.
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「This is the power of a Grand Mage...」
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The impact of merely three spells was staggering.
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Countless monsters lay dead or incapacitated, a significant portion of their legion shattered.
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Yet, even the Grand Mage, the sole architect of this devastation, could not escape the overwhelming exhaustion that followed.
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「Fuck. If I'd known this would happen, I would've saved a few more spells.」
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Magic is a complex art, and for Magic Johnson, a master of wide-area spells, the toll is as profound on his mind and mana as the devastation he wreaks.
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Considering the mana he had already expended at the front lines before this, he had reached his limit.
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「Mrs. Chen. I guess I'm getting old too.」
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「Step back. We old folks need to stick together and help each other out. And...」
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Fei Chen, discarding her whiskey bottle, quickly snatched the bow at her side.
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An arrow made of mana materialized on the empty bowstring.
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「It's Ms. Chen, not Mrs. Who decided I was married?」
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With a huff, Fei Chen released the string. The arrow, blazing with light, tore through the air and the dense fog with a sharp twang. Then:
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Boom!
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A colossal explosion ensued.
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Fei Chen observed as a Death Knight, hidden among the throng, was annihilated without a chance to utter its final cries. She drew her bowstring once more.
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Twang, twang, twang!
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Arrows transformed into beams of light streaking across the wilderness, each one obliterating scores of monsters.
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If Magic Johnson ranks among the top three Grand Mages and is the foremost War Mage globally, then Fei Chen is the unrivaled archer of her time.
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But...
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- Roar!
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- Screech!
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The legion, numbering in the tens of thousands, surged forward, undeterred.
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For every ten monsters felled, another ten emerged. For every hundred slain, another hundred rose.
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These beasts, veiled in thick fog, were more formidable and ferocious than ordinary monsters. Now, only a direct confrontation remained.
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As the monstrous legion advanced, both veterans stepped forward to meet them.
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"Ares Guild. Formation B. Break through them."
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Click-clack!
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Under the composed direction of Lee Jeong-Ryong, the elite guild members, who had remained unscathed thus far, moved in unison.
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Jin Tae-Kyung, having observed them from a distance, turned to the suicide squad he had assembled from the western front.
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"Everyone, Formation J."
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「Yes!」
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「Formation J! Assume the formation!」
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With resolute voices echoing in unison, the suicide squad sprang into action.
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Behind Jin Tae-Kyung, Wu Hei-Xing, who had been rallying a small contingent of Red Guard Gang Hunters, grabbed a member of the suicide squad and asked,
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「Hey, kid. What exactly is Formation J?」
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Recognizing Wu Hei-Xing, Shao Shen frowned and replied,
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「It's a combat formation decided by my Hyung.」
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「So, what does it mean?」
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「Jonna. He said it means to fight with everything we have.」 [Note: "Jonna" is a Korean slang for "fuck it".]
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「…!」
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Momentarily speechless, Wu Hei-Xing watched as Lee Jeong-Ryong and Jin Tae-Kyung charged forward.
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Prince Felix and an army of ten thousand Hunters were not far behind.
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「Aaaaaaah!」
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- Roaaar!
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Humans clashed with monsters.
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Monsters clashed with humans.
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The battlefield erupted into a cacophony of roars and murderous intent, as both sides hurtled across the wilderness, weapons and claws in deadly encounter.
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Squeal, crack!
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The brutal battle had commenced.
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​
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* * *
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​
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I leaned back, tensing my shoulders. With a swift motion, I hurled my arms forward, channeling all my strength.
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Swoosh, flub-flub-flub!
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White Flames shot from my hand, carving a path through dozens of monsters.
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Seizing the fleeting opening, I plunged into the melee, my limbs a blur as I struck at any foe within reach.
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Smack!
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My fist connected with the skull of an onrushing Lycanthrope, smashing it like a grape.
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Before the beast’s cranial fluid could splatter the earth, I was already airborne.
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Click, whoosh!
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I landed, locking eyes with a towering undead troll, its dim gaze meeting mine at four meters high.
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Before the undead troll could wield its club, my palm slammed into its chest with crushing force.
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Thump!
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Intense heat burst forth, sending smoke billowing from the creature’s seven facial orifices. Struck by this lethal blow, the troll was obliterated instantly, its regenerative abilities rendered useless.
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- Wicked human, behind you!
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I know, I know. Who asked you anyway?
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I muttered under my breath, whirling around just in time. A lance, dark with malevolent magic, whistled perilously close to my neck before soaring off into the distance.
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The lance had been aimed to catch me mid-leap — a clever attempt, but they had underestimated me.
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"Damn it. Why are there so many Death Knights? This isn't a chicken restaurant." [Note: I'm not sure what this is referencing. The best guess I can offer is that he's commenting on how crowded the battlefield was, similar to how crowded a chicken restaurant can get in Korea.]
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Dodging the lance, I landed smoothly and immediately found myself facing a Death Knight barreling toward me on a skeletal steed.
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- This is the end!
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Whoosh!
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The Knight shouted as he swung his sword, which glowed with a dark magic. Though his power didn't match an S-rank Hunter, it was certainly comparable to a top A-rank.
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Maybe...
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'This Death Knight was once a Hunter too.'
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That thought crossed my mind as the specter of Lei Fei flashed before me, instilling a sudden pang of bitterness. Meanwhile, the Skeleton Warlord issued a shrill cry.
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- Avoid it, human!
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Pfft!
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As if dissolved by an unseen force, the magic on the sword faded into nothing.
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The Death Knight, looking dully at the mystical spear blade protruding through its chest, gasped feebly.
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- How...
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"This is the end."
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Echoing the Knight’s earlier proclamation, I drove my spear downward.
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"Whoever you were, you fought hard."
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Screech, thud!
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The skeletal horse and its rider split apart, vanishing into the ether. As before, I conjured White Flames to carve through the encroaching monsters, then asked aloud.
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"Why aren't you begging for food now?"
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- Ahem. What do you take this commander for?
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Sizzle!
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"Lazy bum. You say you don't want to fight but you drool over situations like this."
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- What!
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"Why, aren't I exactly right?"
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- You agreed, you cunning human, that I wouldn't participate in the battle! And when was it that you said we mustn't let other humans find out that I exist?
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"Excuses. So, do you want to eat this magic or not?"
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- ...
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Crack!
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"Hey. Can't you hear?"
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- Hmm. I don't really want to eat.
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"...What?"
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Swoosh!
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Caught off guard, I narrowly dodged an incoming attack.
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After dispatching about ten monsters with a sweeping strike of my spear, I posed a serious question,
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"Why's that? Do you want to wither away to nothing?"
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- Umm... I don't know. I just have a feeling.
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"A feeling?"
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- Yes. I'm undead, but sometimes even undead get moody. Just let me be.
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"...Since when do the undead get moody?"
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Normally, this one would have pounced like a starving dog. Why the sudden change?
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'Do undead go through puberty?'
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As much as the Skeleton Warlord is an odd monster, this was nonsensical.
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I stopped pondering over it and resumed slicing through monsters when suddenly,
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Kaboom!
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An area about ten meters in diameter was engulfed by an aura, or rather, Sword Qi.
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In an instant, the frontline was cleared, and a figure gently descended.
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"There are too many monsters. It's impossible for the entire suicide squad to break out."
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I understood exactly what Lee Jeong-Ryong meant.
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"You mean, we should go with a select few elites?"
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"That's right. Get ready."
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As Lee Jeong-Ryong spoke, I ducked as a crescent of Sword Qi whistled past, slicing through several large monsters as if they were mere cheesecake.
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What if that Sword Qi had been aimed at me? If Lee Jeong-Ryong and I were to face off...
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"You, me, and Wu Hei-Xing. The three of us should be enough."
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Licking my parched lips, I responded,
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"That's quite strange."
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"What is?"
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"You never know until you fight. We won't know how strong the Arch Lich is until we face it."
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"There are three of us who are S-rank Hunters. No matter how strong the Arch Lich might be, it's no match for us."
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Us...
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It's a comforting word, yet why does it leave such a sour taste?
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Perhaps it's due to the individuals included in this 'us.'
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Nevertheless, I had committed to the suicide squad tactic since I had proposed it. From that perspective, Lee Jeong-Ryong's proposal was optimal.
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"Let's do that. Where is Wu Hei-Xing?"
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Crack!
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No sooner had I spoken than Wu Hei-Xing burst through the horde, slashing his way through.
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In stark contrast to the pristine Lee Jeong-Ryong, Wu Hei-Xing appeared battered, yet his eyes sparkled with unabated vigor.
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"Luckily, you arrived in time."
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「Hmph. As if monsters like these could stop me.」
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Hadn’t he nearly succumbed to these very 'monsters like these' just an hour ago?
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I was internally chiding Wu Hei-Xing's unimproved mental state when it occurred.
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"Mr. Jin Tae-Kyung!"
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The call came from Mr. Choi, sounding across the battlefield.
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Between the swarms of monsters, I caught a fleeting glimpse of Mr. Choi’s face before it vanished.
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Then, something gleaming arced through the air and embedded itself in the earth near me.
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'This is...'
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It was unmistakable — the [Hero's Soul]. From his obscured position, Mr. Choi called out,
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"I won’t join you, but take this sword. And... be careful!"
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His words were heavy with implication. Without a word, I grasped the [Hero's Soul].
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Beyond the throng of monsters, the darkened cityscape loomed.
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"Let's go."
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Lee Jeong-Ryong offered a gentle smile.
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Previous Table of Contents
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