Letter to elementary school stating leaving the school

My partner and I have been together for eight years. I (M38) and them (NB31) were long distance for the past three years as they attended school and I stayed behind to work. While apart, they came out to me over the phone as nonbinary and nothing else was ever said. Recently they have moved back and it has been coming up more and more and they came out to their family. When we first met they embraced their masculinity which I was attracted to. I’ve always been into the masculine esthetics and dress, regardless of gender identity. I find feminine esthetics and apparel beautiful (I wanted to be a women’s fashion designer fresh out of high school) but I’ve never been attracted to it sexually. I am fully supportive of them embracing their identity and support their journey, I love them deeply. I am just finding myself find them less attractive, sadly, more and more each day. I don’t want to lose them but I don’t know what to do. We’ve talked about it, they know my roadblocks but I’m not sure how to shake this and they don’t want us to end. I don’t want to leave them, we are a great fit outside of my issues. I know it’s not fair to them. I’m just at a loss.

I am mostly using this as a sounding board for any potential solutions.
A bit of background: On paper I'm pretty successful - I am 22, I'm a software developer in metro Dallas and $130K/year and I work from home 4/5 days of the week. State flagship graduate - CompSci and Econ major. Normal height and weight; normal appearance. Never really friends in middle school or high school - I was socially awkard; in college, no real friends as well, just study partners that I never engaged deeply with. Spent evenings and weekends in high school and college reading oodles of Wikipedia. Never really developed hobbies of any sort but did end up learning a substantial amount of econ, polisci, and finance.
I notice about me when I am chatting with my coworkers is that I have no "normal" interests - sports, dating, movies, TV shows, music, guns, etc "touching grass" - none of that interests me and I've never done it (ex: go to a live music festival, go to the movies, watch weekend football, etc).
The only hobby-ish thing I have do now is reading econ/polisci/law papers - but it's a highly niche interest - none of my coworkers really do care about learning about the capital structure of a private equity firm or life insurer balance sheets or research on optimal size of municipalities or statistical methods for causal inference even if I can ramble about it for hours; it's not even that I enjoy reading the econ/polisci/law stuff - it's that I feel like I have nothing better to do - on the weekends, I'll log into my laptop; say I'll do leetcode or professional development (to improve my salary), and then do nothing but read wikipedia, a handful of econ/polisci papers, and browse news before its 2AM (not really generating any satisfaction - feel like I'm just burning time). It is also incredibly lonely since I don't really have anyone to talk to, no real friends, and relatedly, no real interests. And obviously: it's very hard if not impossible to find people to talk about the things I am interested in IRL. I know I'm in a comfortable spot but honestly, my hobby-less situation with no "outside" interests and no real friends is really weighing on me, I'm incredibly lonely and isolating; I've been in this metro area for 1 year and the only people I'm on a first name basis with are my coworkers. especially since there's a clock where if I wait longer, I won't be able to make friends since everyone in my birth cohort will be with children, spouses, and careers; what should I do to find something that interests me and so that I am able to make friends and have normal hobbies?"

When i started openly identifying as trans and introducing myself I went with the name "Jay", it's based on the nickname people gave me in elementary and middle school, and it's grown on me but recently the name hasn't felt right. idk how to explain it. One, it sounds terrible next to my last name. Two, it feels more like a nickname than an actual name. Three, I could never see myself legally changing my name to that. How do you know when a name feels right to you? It would be nice to get name ideas (i would prefer Mexican-type names)

Me and best friend have been in each other’s lives since we were 12 years old. We’re both 27 now. I’ve lived an hour and 20 mins away from her since I’ve been 13 years old. There’s always been that distance but no matter what we always kept in contact. I’ve always made the drive to see her and spend time with her. Fast forward to 2023, she becomes pregnant. I’m so happy for her. Excited and buying stuff for the baby already. She gives birth in June and I’ve never been so happy and proud of her. Legit cried when i saw him. It’s October now. She’s invited me to her baby’s baptism. There were 2 times stated on the invitation, one for the church and one for the venue. So the week of I reached out to find out if we’re meeting at her house or the church. She tells me to just go to the venue instead. I get there with my boyfriend. You know when you feel a certain vibe? Like an uncomfortable/ awkward vibe? I felt it in my stomach but I ignored it and start to say hi to her and her whole family. We sit at our designated table. I start to hear conversation from her friends about how the church was. I look at my boyfriend confused because I assumed it was only family. That made me questioned why were these people there? Friends that I was just introduced to 2 months ago, but I wasn’t? I’ve been feeling very weird with our relationship. As if we’re outgrowing each other. So i posted to my finsta just expressing how I felt. She saw it and she called me. She said what is this about? I said “ it’s just been how I’ve been feeling about us. i find out that everyone was at the church, but me? “ she said “ well where were you during my pregnancy? I barely saw you.” Now at this moment I’m thinking of all the times I’ve seen her thought out the year which was normal amount of times we seen each other. So i said “you never called or texted me about anything during your pregnancy. Never said anything that you needed me.” She said “i shouldn’t have to. You stopped prioritizing me. I thought it would be different when i gave birth but no.” (A little background on me. I have a full time job working overnights in a hospital. Started going back to school full-time in September of 2023 for nursing school. I have my own relationship and dog-ter. My own apartment which went up 50% this year too. A lot has been going on with me as well) I told her I just started school again, and the times i have off i spend it studying or relaxing at home. She said “well you could’ve made at effort, we couldn’t deal with him as a newborn.” I said “well again you never said anything” she said “you didn’t think my instagram posts meant anything ?” To be honest, saying stuff on instagram is completely different from actually reaching out to people. I told her “i figured you wanted to be alone since you’re figuring out how to be new parents” she said “how dare you make decisions for me. Do you know how it was not to make you a Godmother?” I start to bawl my eyes out. The way you get when you’re trying to catch your breath type of cry. Because we’ve always talked about that since we were kids. Making each other the Godmother to each other’s kid. I said “yes that hurt me” through my sobs. Trying to hold it together so i can speak. She said since i wasn’t there for her that I deserve that title. I’ve always been there for her for anything. She calls and I come. No matter what. I make arrangements. I’ll try to be there. She said that I couldn’t even make it to her baby shower. Which she’s right i couldn’t. Back in May of 2023, she was telling me when she was planning the baby shower. I told her that weekend is my little brother’s graduation in the of Florida. So i wouldn’t even be in NY. I begged her to make it for the following weekend so I can attend because i really wanted to be there. I was buying stuff every week till the baby shower to make her a baby shower basket. With diapers of every size. Wipes. Even hair clips for her too. So she knew i wouldn’t be there and still chose to plan it that day anyways. So i didn’t push anymore it’s her day, but i made sure my boyfriend was there. He helped set up and get the cake. He bought the gifts i bought them even the high chair. Now back to our conversation, i told her it was my little brother’s high school graduation. You knew this. She said okay? You could’ve came for a little bit and left that night. I said no. I was with my family. That’s why i asked for the following weekend. She said “well no why would i change it for ONE person?” I said “okay so why are you mad ?” I’m sorry but i wasn’t not missing my only little brother’s high school graduation. So she didn’t make me a godmother meanwhile her child has 5 Godmothers. I wasn’t 1. There’s other situations that have happened as well throughout the years. But this was the icing on the cake. Something I cannot forgive in my heart. It hurts so much. She’s MY ONLY best friend. She has an army behind her. I would’ve done anything for her. I’ve always showed up for her when she called me. I’ve always made her a priority. But now that I’m trying to better myself and the one time I’m finally thinking of me. I’m the fucked up friend ? So Am I the asshole?

I (13f) have a boy bsf (12m) who we will call Alex. We both go to the same school, same class and we sit together in french lessons which means 5h a week. We started talking and found out we hade similar interests such as good grades, soccer, cars. About 2 weeks or so after familiarising, he sent me 1 loooooong paragraph and told me "can you send this to my bestfriend" ( 12f who we will call chloe). I answered with something like ’yeah sure’ and started reading the paragraph before sending. It was saying he no longer wanted to be friends with chloe, saying chloe abandoned him and doesn't love him anymore and that she became a pick me hanging out with the new girl in school who we will call mary. Mind you, chloe is the nicest person you will ever meet. I was like send it yourself why should it be me, he started having a stroke or idk and faking nervous tics (it was obvioooooouus). I sent it. They both would'nt talk to each other after that.
Alex and I became bestfriends after that as i started making other friend such as mary and chloe. One day Alex and i were chatting on whatsapp when I asked him a simple ’wyd’ he said ’nothing’. That kind of made me giggle but also suspicious. I answers ’what kind of nothing? Better not be smth corny..!’ when he should’ve atleast laughed a little, i think, he answered ’yeah just something..’.
I started worrying asking him to tell me so he siad: here’s a clue, sharpener blade. I froze.
He couldn't be doing that could he...
I told him to stop right now and here and asked him to clarify what he was doing since i had the possibility to tell his sister the next day at school so she could help him. He said ’yk already...’
I just sat silent infront of my screen. After 10 minutes my phone buzzed ’hey i was just joking lol! Wyd? Im watching tiktok btw’
I told him: ’debating whether i should block you for that joke or not..’
I got blocked instead, he insulted me in a common gc and made fun of me infront of his friends the next day at school. Thankfully after that it was the weekend. He unblocked me and gaslight me into thinking i was the problem. I had created the issue..
He has gaslight me into thinking that forever after that.
Fast-forward a couple of months later it comes out that he started $H. He would only do a couuuuple of not even cutting his skin deep cuts, like a paper cut would hurt more and pretending he couldn't move his arm and shaking it like it was a tic. To not embarasss him i played along but that guy was draining me looking back. He would then guilt trip me into staying friends.
After all of that i also started $H but i went to deep more then once. I couldn't stop the bleeding. He saw it on my hands and thought i was trying to 1 up him so he started sh deeper and told me he wanted to commit suicide...
Mind you, a looot of my friends including chloe and mary (let’s add katie for the context which is my bsf just before alex) had told me to get away from him but i didnt listen.
One day, when it was a holiday my mother took my phone away cuz i had too much screen time. For the first week i couldnt talk with him. When i had my phone back, he siad he loved me, that he was about to khs if i left ect... I snapped. I told him he could stop pretending and I knew he only wanted attention. I told him I commited $H bcz of him.
He said ’ok.’ ’i will just go actually suicide if you dont wanna believe’
I started feeling bad but it was already midnight so i shut my phone down and went to sleep. Next day he texted me a ’hello.’ at about 1pm. I answered ’hey alex...’ Heres how it went:
Alex: this isnt alex its his sister Me: huh what happened Alex: alex commited a suicide attempt he is in the hospital. Me: panicking, i called my mom who was at work and she asked for alex’s parnet’s number. Alex: uh..we can’t do that but i can text her from alex’s number. Me: ok ill send it to her.
After 15 minutes, mom calls. She doesn't believe any of that because alexs sistser ’can’t call’ because she is driving but can text ?
Mom tells me to give my phone to the maid. I do. I keep texting Alex on my computer and he said he loves me, he couldnt live without me and i started thinking everything was my fault. My sister caught me texting him and told my mom who told me to also give my laptop to the maid. I waited until she comes back from work and mom tells to stop talking to this alex and that he is only hurting me, and if maybe this was real the parents would call. I agreed and the next couple of days were off school. On monday i told him and also told chloe’ katie and mary i couldnt talk with him be didnt specify why. Katie seemed to have a problem with me still talking to him occasionally. She proceeded to ignoring me so now i had lost both my bsf.
A couple days went by and alex comes to me sayinghis cousin took his phone and all that suicide attempt thing wasnt real. I pretended to believe him.
The next day, he askes me whats weong i tell him i just lost both my bsfs. He siad he was sorry and we went about our day.
Fast-forward lunch i couldn't hold it in anymore and had a mental breakdown talking with mary. She went to go speak with katie whom said she isn't planning on becoming friends again and then to alex. He mocked me when i told him i lost 2 of my bsfs, made fun of my problems and other stuff.
Mary came to me and told me all that what he told her. I started having a panick attack but soon my friends consoled me. During lunch j would see katie and alex walking by laughing.
After lunch we had class when i had another mental breakdown. The teacher told me to leave the classroom and tell her whats wrong. Apparently when we were outside mary had told to the whole class i may want to die now bcz of katie(. But at this period i still didnt know).
The next day after school alex finally admitted: he wasntin the hospital he didnt do an attempt and he only wanted attention.
But katie still refuses to talk to me.
I dont know what to do please help me.
And am i the asshole?

Me and best friend have been in each other’s lives since we were 12 years old. We’re both 27 now. I’ve lived an hour and 20 mins away from her since I’ve been 13 years old. There’s always been that distance but no matter what we always kept in contact. I’ve always made the drive to see her and spend time with her. Fast forward to 2023, she becomes pregnant. I’m so happy for her. Excited and buying stuff for the baby already. She gives birth in June and I’ve never been so happy and proud of her. Legit cried when i saw him. It’s October now. She’s invited me to her baby’s baptism. There were 2 times stated on the invitation, one for the church and one for the venue. So the week of I reached out to find out if we’re meeting at her house or the church. She tells me to just go to the venue instead. I get there with my boyfriend. You know when you feel a certain vibe? Like an uncomfortable/ awkward vibe? I felt it in my stomach but I ignored it and start to say hi to her and her whole family. We sit at our designated table. I start to hear conversation from her friends about how the church was. I look at my boyfriend confused because I assumed it was only family. That made me questioned why were these people there? Friends that I was just introduced to 2 months ago, but I wasn’t? I’ve been feeling very weird with our relationship. As if we’re outgrowing each other. So i posted to my finsta just expressing how I felt. She saw it and she called me. She said what is this about? I said “ it’s just been how I’ve been feeling about us. i find out that everyone was at the church, but me? “ she said “ well where were you during my pregnancy? I barely saw you.” Now at this moment I’m thinking of all the times I’ve seen her thought out the year which was normal amount of times we seen each other. So i said “you never called or texted me about anything during your pregnancy. Never said anything that you needed me.” She said “i shouldn’t have to. You stopped prioritizing me. I thought it would be different when i gave birth but no.” (A little background on me. I have a full time job working overnights in a hospital. Started going back to school full-time in September of 2023 for nursing school. I have my own relationship and dog-ter. My own apartment which went up 50% this year too. A lot has been going on with me as well) I told her I just started school again, and the times i have off i spend it studying or relaxing at home. She said “well you could’ve made at effort, we couldn’t deal with him as a newborn.” I said “well again you never said anything” she said “you didn’t think my instagram posts meant anything ?” To be honest, saying stuff on instagram is completely different from actually reaching out to people. I told her “i figured you wanted to be alone since you’re figuring out how to be new parents” she said “how dare you make decisions for me. Do you know how it was not to make you a Godmother?” I start to bawl my eyes out. The way you get when you’re trying to catch your breath type of cry. Because we’ve always talked about that since we were kids. Making each other the Godmother to each other’s kid. I said “yes that hurt me” through my sobs. Trying to hold it together so i can speak. She said since i wasn’t there for her that I deserve that title. I’ve always been there for her for anything. She calls and I come. No matter what. I make arrangements. I’ll try to be there. She said that I couldn’t even make it to her baby shower. Which she’s right i couldn’t. Back in May of 2023, she was telling me when she was planning the baby shower. I told her that weekend is my little brother’s graduation in the of Florida. So i wouldn’t even be in NY. I begged her to make it for the following weekend so I can attend because i really wanted to be there. I was buying stuff every week till the baby shower to make her a baby shower basket. With diapers of every size. Wipes. Even hair clips for her too. So she knew i wouldn’t be there and still chose to plan it that day anyways. So i didn’t push anymore it’s her day, but i made sure my boyfriend was there. He helped set up and get the cake. He bought the gifts i bought them even the high chair. Now back to our conversation, i told her it was my little brother’s high school graduation. You knew this. She said okay? You could’ve came for a little bit and left that night. I said no. I was with my family. That’s why i asked for the following weekend. She said “well no why would i change it for ONE person?” I said “okay so why are you mad ?” I’m sorry but i wasn’t not missing my only little brother’s high school graduation. So she didn’t make me a godmother meanwhile her child has 5 Godmothers. I wasn’t 1. There’s other situations that have happened as well throughout the years. But this was the icing on the cake. Something I cannot forgive in my heart. It hurts so much. She’s MY ONLY best friend. She has an army behind her. I would’ve done anything for her. I’ve always showed up for her when she called me. I’ve always made her a priority. But now that I’m trying to better myself and the one time I’m finally thinking of me. I’m the fucked up friend ? So Am I the asshole?

My wife and I will be celebrating our 15 year anniversary this year and our marriage has not been easy lately. Three years ago I caught her sexting her classmate and, based on the descriptive X-rated texts, I can deduce that it wasn’t her first time either. I confronted her on it and she was very apologetic, cut ties with the “friend” (although the school year was over and he was moving away anyway), and she deleted all communication. Before this, they studied together frequently at his and our place, and I would always see him driving away before I got home from work, which raised a bit of some suspicion at the time. She insists that the sexts (and whatever associated feelings she developed) were the only thing that happened. I’m sure we all have assumptions, but let’s just give her the benefit of a doubt that she’s not lying about anything.
This experience was especially painful as the attention and words she sent to her “friend” was the exact love language I had been craving and had been absent from our marriage for nearly a decade. Sexual encounters/foreplay/advances/talk/flirting etc. were almost exclusively initiated by myself for nearly 10 years. Every 2-3 months I would bring up the issue due to it becoming unbearable — sometimes it would turn into a fight, sometimes just empty promises. For nearly 10 years I never really felt desired, wanted, or craved for in that way with her.
Since the sexting incident, she has completely changed. I get all kinds of attention and affection now — everything I have hoped for since things seemed to change 10 years ago. But, I have felt A LOT of resentment towards her for cheating. I’m also just plain exhausted from the stress of the past.
Our kids are in elementary school and I hesitate to divorce for now due to them. I asked that she reread the sexts daily (since it replays in my mind daily) and feel that has opened her eyes to how it affects me still after 4 years. But I still feel very resentful. I thought about asking her to explain the situation to family. It’s embarrassing and perhaps my resentment would be relieved that way. Other than therapy or revenge cheating, I just don’t know what to do to feel less resentful.

I was previously on a US work visa and transferred to a student visa (F-1) to attend graduate school.
I recently secured an internship with a company in the US for this summer. As a part of the I-9 process, one of the required documents is stated as "Form I-94 indicating F-1 nonimmigrant status" on the USCIS website.
The issue is that my most recent i-94 shows my work visa status and not the student visa status because I did a visa transfer of status (to the student visa) while in the US.
Therefore, I was wondering whether I could still use the I-94 or if I would have to provide another alternative document to proceed with the I-9.

I (13f) have a boy bsf (12m) who we will call Alex. We both go to the same school, same class and we sit together in french lessons which means 5h a week. We started talking and found out we hade similar interests such as good grades, soccer, cars. About 2 weeks or so after familiarising, he sent me 1 loooooong paragraph and told me "can you send this to my bestfriend" ( 12f who we will call chloe). I answered with something like ’yeah sure’ and started reading the paragraph before sending. It was saying he no longer wanted to be friends with chloe, saying chloe abandoned him and doesn't love him anymore and that she became a pick me hanging out with the new girl in school who we will call mary. Mind you, chloe is the nicest person you will ever meet. I was like send it yourself why should it be me, he started having a stroke or idk and faking nervous tics (it was obvioooooouus). I sent it. They both would'nt talk to each other after that.
Alex and I became bestfriends after that as i started making other friend such as mary and chloe. One day Alex and i were chatting on whatsapp when I asked him a simple ’wyd’ he said ’nothing’. That kind of made me giggle but also suspicious. I answers ’what kind of nothing? Better not be smth corny..!’ when he should’ve atleast laughed a little, i think, he answered ’yeah just something..’.
I started worrying asking him to tell me so he siad: here’s a clue, sharpener blade. I froze.
He couldn't be doing that could he...
I told him to stop right now and here and asked him to clarify what he was doing since i had the possibility to tell his sister the next day at school so she could help him. He said ’yk already...’
I just sat silent infront of my screen. After 10 minutes my phone buzzed ’hey i was just joking lol! Wyd? Im watching tiktok btw’
I told him: ’debating whether i should block you for that joke or not..’
I got blocked instead, he insulted me in a common gc and made fun of me infront of his friends the next day at school. Thankfully after that it was the weekend. He unblocked me and gaslight me into thinking i was the problem. I had created the issue..
He has gaslight me into thinking that forever after that.
Fast-forward a couple of months later it comes out that he started $H. He would only do a couuuuple of not even cutting his skin deep cuts, like a paper cut would hurt more and pretending he couldn't move his arm and shaking it like it was a tic. To not embarasss him i played along but that guy was draining me looking back. He would then guilt trip me into staying friends.
After all of that i also started $H but i went to deep more then once. I couldn't stop the bleeding. He saw it on my hands and thought i was trying to 1 up him so he started sh deeper and told me he wanted to commit suicide...
Mind you, a looot of my friends including chloe and mary (let’s add katie for the context which is my bsf just before alex) had told me to get away from him but i didnt listen.
One day, when it was a holiday my mother took my phone away cuz i had too much screen time. For the first week i couldnt talk with him. When i had my phone back, he siad he loved me, that he was about to khs if i left ect... I snapped. I told him he could stop pretending and I knew he only wanted attention. I told him I commited $H bcz of him.
He said ’ok.’ ’i will just go actually suicide if you dont wanna believe’
I started feeling bad but it was already midnight so i shut my phone down and went to sleep. Next day he texted me a ’hello.’ at about 1pm. I answered ’hey alex...’ Heres how it went:
Alex: this isnt alex its his sister Me: huh what happened Alex: alex commited a suicide attempt he is in the hospital. Me: panicking, i called my mom who was at work and she asked for alex’s parnet’s number. Alex: uh..we can’t do that but i can text her from alex’s number. Me: ok ill send it to her.
After 15 minutes, mom calls. She doesn't believe any of that because alexs sistser ’can’t call’ because she is driving but can text ?
Mom tells me to give my phone to the maid. I do. I keep texting Alex on my computer and he said he loves me, he couldnt live without me and i started thinking everything was my fault. My sister caught me texting him and told my mom who told me to also give my laptop to the maid. I waited until she comes back from work and mom tells to stop talking to this alex and that he is only hurting me, and if maybe this was real the parents would call. I agreed and the next couple of days were off school. On monday i told him and also told chloe’ katie and mary i couldnt talk with him be didnt specify why. Katie seemed to have a problem with me still talking to him occasionally. She proceeded to ignoring me so now i had lost both my bsf.
A couple days went by and alex comes to me sayinghis cousin took his phone and all that suicide attempt thing wasnt real. I pretended to believe him.
The next day, he askes me whats weong i tell him i just lost both my bsfs. He siad he was sorry and we went about our day.
Fast-forward lunch i couldn't hold it in anymore and had a mental breakdown talking with mary. She went to go speak with katie whom said she isn't planning on becoming friends again and then to alex. He mocked me when i told him i lost 2 of my bsfs, made fun of my problems and other stuff.
Mary came to me and told me all that what he told her. I started having a panick attack but soon my friends consoled me. During lunch j would see katie and alex walking by laughing.
After lunch we had class when i had another mental breakdown. The teacher told me to leave the classroom and tell her whats wrong. Apparently when we were outside mary had told to the whole class i may want to die now bcz of katie(. But at this period i still didnt know).
The next day after school alex finally admitted: he wasntin the hospital he didnt do an attempt and he only wanted attention.
But katie still refuses to talk to me.
I dont know what to do please help me.
And am i the asshole?

I (13f) have a boy bsf (12m) who we will call Alex. We both go to the same school, same class and we sit together in french lessons which means 5h a week. We started talking and found out we hade similar interests such as good grades, soccer, cars. About 2 weeks or so after familiarising, he sent me 1 loooooong paragraph and told me "can you send this to my bestfriend" ( 12f who we will call chloe). I answered with something like ’yeah sure’ and started reading the paragraph before sending. It was saying he no longer wanted to be friends with chloe, saying chloe abandoned him and doesn't love him anymore and that she became a pick me hanging out with the new girl in school who we will call mary. Mind you, chloe is the nicest person you will ever meet. I was like send it yourself why should it be me, he started having a stroke or idk and faking nervous tics (it was obvioooooouus). I sent it. They both would'nt talk to each other after that.
Alex and I became bestfriends after that as i started making other friend such as mary and chloe. One day Alex and i were chatting on whatsapp when I asked him a simple ’wyd’ he said ’nothing’. That kind of made me giggle but also suspicious. I answers ’what kind of nothing? Better not be smth corny..!’ when he should’ve atleast laughed a little, i think, he answered ’yeah just something..’.
I started worrying asking him to tell me so he siad: here’s a clue, sharpener blade. I froze.
He couldn't be doing that could he...
I told him to stop right now and here and asked him to clarify what he was doing since i had the possibility to tell his sister the next day at school so she could help him. He said ’yk already...’
I just sat silent infront of my screen. After 10 minutes my phone buzzed ’hey i was just joking lol! Wyd? Im watching tiktok btw’
I told him: ’debating whether i should block you for that joke or not..’
I got blocked instead, he insulted me in a common gc and made fun of me infront of his friends the next day at school. Thankfully after that it was the weekend. He unblocked me and gaslight me into thinking i was the problem. I had created the issue..
He has gaslight me into thinking that forever after that.
Fast-forward a couple of months later it comes out that he started $H. He would only do a couuuuple of not even cutting his skin deep cuts, like a paper cut would hurt more and pretending he couldn't move his arm and shaking it like it was a tic. To not embarasss him i played along but that guy was draining me looking back. He would then guilt trip me into staying friends.
After all of that i also started $H but i went to deep more then once. I couldn't stop the bleeding. He saw it on my hands and thought i was trying to 1 up him so he started sh deeper and told me he wanted to commit suicide...
Mind you, a looot of my friends including chloe and mary (let’s add katie for the context which is my bsf just before alex) had told me to get away from him but i didnt listen.
One day, when it was a holiday my mother took my phone away cuz i had too much screen time. For the first week i couldnt talk with him. When i had my phone back, he siad he loved me, that he was about to khs if i left ect... I snapped. I told him he could stop pretending and I knew he only wanted attention. I told him I commited $H bcz of him.
He said ’ok.’ ’i will just go actually suicide if you dont wanna believe’
I started feeling bad but it was already midnight so i shut my phone down and went to sleep. Next day he texted me a ’hello.’ at about 1pm. I answered ’hey alex...’ Heres how it went:
Alex: this isnt alex its his sister Me: huh what happened Alex: alex commited a suicide attempt he is in the hospital. Me: panicking, i called my mom who was at work and she asked for alex’s parnet’s number. Alex: uh..we can’t do that but i can text her from alex’s number. Me: ok ill send it to her.
After 15 minutes, mom calls. She doesn't believe any of that because alexs sistser ’can’t call’ because she is driving but can text ?
Mom tells me to give my phone to the maid. I do. I keep texting Alex on my computer and he said he loves me, he couldnt live without me and i started thinking everything was my fault. My sister caught me texting him and told my mom who told me to also give my laptop to the maid. I waited until she comes back from work and mom tells to stop talking to this alex and that he is only hurting me, and if maybe this was real the parents would call. I agreed and the next couple of days were off school. On monday i told him and also told chloe’ katie and mary i couldnt talk with him be didnt specify why. Katie seemed to have a problem with me still talking to him occasionally. She proceeded to ignoring me so now i had lost both my bsf.
A couple days went by and alex comes to me sayinghis cousin took his phone and all that suicide attempt thing wasnt real. I pretended to believe him.
The next day, he askes me whats weong i tell him i just lost both my bsfs. He siad he was sorry and we went about our day.
Fast-forward lunch i couldn't hold it in anymore and had a mental breakdown talking with mary. She went to go speak with katie whom said she isn't planning on becoming friends again and then to alex. He mocked me when i told him i lost 2 of my bsfs, made fun of my problems and other stuff.
Mary came to me and told me all that what he told her. I started having a panick attack but soon my friends consoled me. During lunch j would see katie and alex walking by laughing.
After lunch we had class when i had another mental breakdown. The teacher told me to leave the classroom and tell her whats wrong. Apparently when we were outside mary had told to the whole class i may want to die now bcz of katie(. But at this period i still didnt know).
The next day after school alex finally admitted: he wasntin the hospital he didnt do an attempt and he only wanted attention.
But katie still refuses to talk to me.
I dont know what to do please help me.
And am i the asshole?

I started writing, and publishing, fanfiction when I was (you’ll be shocked) nine. I’m nineteen now and have absolutely no desire to do so (last time I published was two years ago, I’ve just lost interest, I prefer reading books now) but I was thinking about it and realized that I think being apart of the fanfiction community at such a young age helped me expand my vocabulary and get some writing practice in. Back in elementary school, all I had really liked to read were the Ramona Quimby books. In middle school, I didn’t like reading any books - I just liked reading and writing fanfiction. But I think that it helped me use my imagination, helped me connect with people who had similar interests, and helped me become a better writer than I’d have been otherwise.

Sorry if this is asked so frequently but I still don’t know how to best do it😭😭
I have my name on an abstract that was presented as a poster at a national conference, though I did not actually present the poster. How should I list this on AMCAS? I also have an abstract currently in the works that will be submitted in about a week, should I leave this off and possibly send an update to schools once it is accepted?
Thank you all for your help during this time 🫡

Hello, to preface this post, I am not very familiar with Reddit and am using a throwaway account as to keep this anonymous. I will likely try posting this in other subreddits to try and hear thoughts from a wider range of users. I apologize in advance if this post doesn't match exactly to how people normally use this forum.
Recently, I have been thinking a lot about some experiences I had during my life from my childhood until now (I am 20). I never really questioned most of this stuff and just assumed that the things I would experience were common and ones that everyone else around me could relate to. It wasn't until more recently when most friends I spoke to about any of this stuff thought this was somewhat abnormal or they couldn't exactly understand what I was trying to describe. So, under this paragraph, I am going to outline some mental phenomena I used to (or still do) experience. If anyone can relate to or have some better understanding for what these things are, I would really appreciate a response.
I regularly experienced vivid night terrors as a young child, some that I still remember well to this day. I would sometimes wake up screaming in my sleep or roll off my bed. I would often sleep walk throughout my home in the night, and would also have nights where I would experience a half-asleep half-awake state of consciousness in which I would pace around in circles in my bedroom or living room while imagining that my dreams were connected to real life. As an example: The night after watching the movie Gravity in theaters (I was 9 years old), I sleep walked into the living room. I then woke into this trance-like state where I paced around in circles with anxiety for what felt like hours and hours as I was convinced that I was being sent to space and that I would die. Just to note- I also experienced sleep paralysis a couple times in which I would awake with a completely numb body, unable to move, with a shadowy figure standing in my doorway. These night terrors eventually went away, and they stopped around middle school. Around that time, I began experiencing very common and easy to achieve lucid dreams, both on purpose and accident.
Very often, after looking at an object for long enough, I would begin to feel that the object was either much smaller than it really was, or that it was a large object further away than it really was. By this, I don't mean that objects were literally larger or smaller in my vision. Rather that they were distorting in size while also distorting in distance from my eyes in order to maintain the same amount of space in my field of view. This would often happen in school while staring at boards, papers, or teachers. It was often very disorientating and dizzying. I could only usually make my perception return to normal after closing my eyes for long enough. Otherwise, my vision would distort more, and everything would feel strangely far away. This is something that I experienced more as a kid, but still occasionally feel even today.
In a similar vein to these visual distortions, I also occasionally experienced mild time distortions. (This is difficult to describe, so bear with me.) Also as a kid, hearing and focusing in on a particular tempo visually and auditorily (like tapping my finger at a constant interval) would cause time to feel as if it was moving significantly faster. It feels like the tapping is happening really slowly while the world around me moved faster, making me feel really anxious. This didn't happen very often, and would usually correlate to the night terrors I would have (feeling much longer than they actually were). This is something I do not experience anymore and haven't since middle school.
I also experienced a couple rare episodes of dissociation growing up. They felt pretty severe to me, feeling like I wasn't in control of my body or mind, like I was watching from far away, and everything felt cloudy and fuzzy. One in particular was very intense, and just lasted for one day- ending with me becoming severely ill and throwing up all over the place.
Nowadays I don't experience much of these things. The only real mental struggles I feel now are high social anxiety, often avoiding places and people so that I don't have to interact. College friends regularly mention to me that they walk past me and that I see them but never say hi, and I almost never realize that I had stared straight at people I know. I often feel like I walk around everyday without recognizing or even seeing people's faces, even ones close to me.
There are a couple other habits I had as a kid that might warrant looking into, but they are things I didn't want to really get into here. If anyone has any insight or shares these experiences, please comment, I'd love to hear! Looking back at all this stuff is strange and a little worrying at times, so any thoughts are appreciated! Thank you for reading this. :)

This has gone far enough. Strange way to end the night. We think my little sister (13f) stole our mom’s phone. Btw my sister already has a nice phone and she just got an iPad for Christmas. My mom has like 3 phones, her new one which is her main one and old two phones. Anywho, they’re all in sync so when she gets a call all 3 of the phones ring. Apparently, she left one of the phones on her bed and when she left the room it was gone. She tried calling it, her other two phones rang but not the other one. She walked around the house in hopes of hearing it but nothing. She even came in my room and asked me if I had it. I didn’t. She pinged all her phones and went on the Find my app and it said that the phone was still in the house. This means that whoever took the phone had shut it off which is the reason it didn’t ring. My mom never has any of her phones off. Back to the part of my is her being a thief. She is, I don’t care if my family doesn’t like me calling her that, she is. Back in elementary school when slime was popular she stole this girl’s slime even though she had her own and lied about it. My grandmother found out and made her give it back to the girl. Another time, maybe about 3-4 years ago we all had this app called “Greenlight” it’s basically cashapp for kids but the parent could see everyone’s wallet and give money. This girl took my grandmother’s phone and cleared my saving’s account. I had about $25 I didn’t touch. When I went on there I saw my money way gone. Keep in mind, you can see everyone’s account history like when money was put in and out. I check my history it says my grandma took money out of my account. But she was sleeping and this had just happened. So I check my grandmas account and find that she had taken money out of my account. Then it says she took (insert amount of money taken out of my account) and placed it in my sister’s account. I check to see if I get it back….the money was gone. I check her history….this girl just ordered a phone charger off door dash. :/ I remeber when I told my grandma she had a talk with my sister and that’s it. She told her not to do it again and got me back my money. Basically letting her off. She’s too nice for her own good. Another time I was laying in bed, I had my phone under my pillowcase on the charger. I hear my door open and my sister starts calling my name. I didn’t respond and pretended to be asleep. Keep in mind, my wallet is under my pillow too. This girl starts slowing sliding her hand under my pillow and grabs my wallet. I sprung up so fast and asked her what she thought she was doing and she said she need (insert the over $20+ amount she asked for) and I told her “no.” She had already gotten her own allowance and chose to spend it poorly. She stormed off. Then another time, she had stolen $20 from my grandmother using this same app and keep in mind we can see the history. It says that our grandma sent her $20. She didn’t. She tried to lie and say she didn’t know how it got there. She just got a gentle talk and my grandma sent myself and my other sister $20 each since our little sister got to get $20. Much like the current situation I remember one day a couple years ago I was cleaning my room. I had just made my bed. My bedding was all black so my white AirPods case is obviously visible. It was on the charger on my bed. I leave the room come back it’s gone. That whole day I’m stressed out I can’t find them. I get on some kind of search app and this app made it to where the closer you were to the missing device the louder it started beeping and pointing a compass. Every time I got close to her room it got more intense and further away it died down. Okay, so I know it’s in her room and I confront her, her room is a hot mess impossible to find anything. I show her the evidence and tell her I know it’s here but she denies. I end up finding another set of AirPods which belonged to my mother (yes she also stole our mothers AirPods and our mother had been looking for them for weeks) and they were working just fine she why’d she take mine? Sorry, I’m fuming just writing this out. Anyway, she did what she always does after a while, she somehow snuck into my room and planted them in one of the shoes I wear everyday like they were there the whole time. :/ she’s also planted our other sisters phone in a clothing basket once. Anyway, this girl stays stealing. She’s always stealing our clothes and our stuff and our moms stuff and peoples money. One day mom got on the phone with her dad and told him to come get his thieving child and put my sister on the phone and yall guess what she told her dad. :/ She told this man that everything she had belonged to her and that she couldn’t never have nothing because everyone was always stealing her things so she didn’t have anything….girl….oh ya guys I didn’t mention that she’s a compulsive liar? I fear this results from her never being held accountable for her actions growing up and always getting her way. Sorry, I just had to say something. What do we do about this girl?

My boyfriend (21M) and I (21F) have almost been dating a year and have an amazing relationship. We met in person working at a summer camp and was able to spend the first couple of months together then had to go to LDR due to me being from a different state and starting university back up in the fall. Throughout the year we have seen each other about once a month for a week at a time. My boyfriend did not take the traditional college route so he did not attend a 4 year university. Throughout the year he struggled majorly with depression and anxiety. He has been seeing a therapist and he been doing a lot better recently and expressed to me the urge to attend college. He is a musician and ideally would want to go to a music school. The problem is most of the schools he’s looking at are on the east coast… all the way across the country from me. I am in my final year of school this spring meaning in a year from now I’ll need to be looking into jobs. Ideally I’d like to be married in 3-4 years when I’m 24-25. The problem is he isn’t ready to commit to applying to a university yet which means he might not start for another 6 months to a year. We have both agreed that we are each other’s forever person but I’m feeling an overwhelming sense of uncertainty about when we can actually begin our lives together. I don’t want to open a “closing the gap” conversation yet because I don’t want to stress him out about making a decision about his university (especially since he is just starting to feel like himself again) and I don’t want to put pressure on our relationship that is more then comfortable as is. However, I don’t want to be long distance for another possible 5 years. I’m really stuck about how to navigate this.

Hello, to preface this post, I am not very familiar with Reddit and am using a throwaway account as to keep this anonymous. I will likely try posting this in other subreddits to try and hear thoughts from a wider range of users. I apologize in advance if this post doesn't match exactly to how people normally use this forum.
Recently, I have been thinking a lot about some experiences I had during my life from my childhood until now (I am 20). I never really questioned most of this stuff and just assumed that the things I would experience were common and ones that everyone else around me could relate to. It wasn't until more recently when most friends I spoke to about any of this stuff thought this was somewhat abnormal or they couldn't exactly understand what I was trying to describe. So, under this paragraph, I am going to outline some mental phenomena I used to (or still do) experience. If anyone can relate to or have some better understanding for what these things are, I would really appreciate a response.
I regularly experienced vivid night terrors as a young child, some that I still remember well to this day. I would sometimes wake up screaming in my sleep or roll off my bed. I would often sleep walk throughout my home in the night, and would also have nights where I would experience a half-asleep half-awake state of consciousness in which I would pace around in circles in my bedroom or living room while imagining that my dreams were connected to real life. As an example: The night after watching the movie Gravity in theaters (I was 9 years old), I sleep walked into the living room. I then woke into this trance-like state where I paced around in circles with anxiety for what felt like hours and hours as I was convinced that I was being sent to space and that I would die. Just to note- I also experienced sleep paralysis a couple times in which I would awake with a completely numb body, unable to move, with a shadowy figure standing in my doorway. These night terrors eventually went away, and they stopped around middle school. Around that time, I began experiencing very common and easy to achieve lucid dreams, both on purpose and accident.
Very often, after looking at an object for long enough, I would begin to feel that the object was either much smaller than it really was, or that it was a large object further away than it really was. By this, I don't mean that objects were literally larger or smaller in my vision. Rather that they were distorting in size while also distorting in distance from my eyes in order to maintain the same amount of space in my field of view. This would often happen in school while staring at boards, papers, or teachers. It was often very disorientating and dizzying. I could only usually make my perception return to normal after closing my eyes for long enough. Otherwise, my vision would distort more, and everything would feel strangely far away. This is something that I experienced more as a kid, but still occasionally feel even today.
In a similar vein to these visual distortions, I also occasionally experienced mild time distortions. (This is difficult to describe, so bear with me.) Also as a kid, hearing and focusing in on a particular tempo visually and auditorily (like tapping my finger at a constant interval) would cause time to feel as if it was moving significantly faster. It feels like the tapping is happening really slowly while the world around me moved faster, making me feel really anxious. This didn't happen very often, and would usually correlate to the night terrors I would have (feeling much longer than they actually were). This is something I do not experience anymore and haven't since middle school.
I also experienced a couple rare episodes of dissociation growing up. They felt pretty severe to me, feeling like I wasn't in control of my body or mind, like I was watching from far away, and everything felt cloudy and fuzzy. One in particular was very intense, and just lasted for one day- ending with me becoming severely ill and throwing up all over the place.
Nowadays I don't experience much of these things. The only real mental struggles I feel now are high social anxiety, often avoiding places and people so that I don't have to interact. College friends regularly mention to me that they walk past me and that I see them but never say hi, and I almost never realize that I had stared straight at people I know. I often feel like I walk around everyday without recognizing or even seeing people's faces, even ones close to me.
There are a couple other habits I had as a kid that might warrant looking into, but they are things I didn't want to really get into here. If anyone has any insight or shares these experiences, please comment, I'd love to hear! Looking back at all this stuff is strange and a little worrying at times, so any thoughts are appreciated! Thank you for reading this. :)

For context:
Lived alone ever since I was 18, always paid my own rent with no help from anyone. My girlfriend would come over everyday in the evening (after 5'ish pm) and stay at my place. She never contributes/contributed anything to the house (I also never really asked, only considering it now.) Been with my girlfriend for almost 4 years.
The usual routine:
I wake up (~9 am), go to work until 6 pm. Go to the gym, then come back around 8 pm. My girlfriend would wake up at different times (depending on what time her classes start. Could be as early as 8 am and as late as 3 pm depending on the day), go to her parent's place (where she has her own room/etc) and then come back to mine in the evening.
The situation:
I have taken a hit on my income and about to get rent increase. Despite my girlfriend technically not living with me (because she has her own room at her parents) it somehow feels that she does. She has a spare key to my apartment, and even while I am away on my trip (out of state) she chooses to stay at my apartment (according to her its more comfortable than her room at her parents).
I don't really mind any of that, though she doesn't cook/clean/buy groceries/pay anything, I do all of it myself for both of us. I also never really asked her to do any of this before, but I feel like now it's a bit appropriate to ask? Once I am back from the trip I was hoping I could ask her to start pitching in $150 a month for rent and maybe like vacuum once a week? Is that an appropriate ask?
Edit: She doesn't have a job, but she gets a substantial allowance and doesn't have any expenses. (her gas/school costs are covered)

Hello, to preface this post, I am not very familiar with Reddit and am using a throwaway account as to keep this anonymous. I will likely try posting this in other subreddits to try and hear thoughts from a wider range of users. I apologize in advance if this post doesn't match exactly to how people normally use this forum.
Recently, I have been thinking a lot about some experiences I had during my life from my childhood until now (I am 20). I never really questioned most of this stuff and just assumed that the things I would experience were common and ones that everyone else around me could relate to. It wasn't until more recently when most friends I spoke to about any of this stuff thought this was somewhat abnormal or they couldn't exactly understand what I was trying to describe. So, under this paragraph, I am going to outline some mental phenomena I used to (or still do) experience. If anyone can relate to or have some better understanding for what these things are, I would really appreciate a response.
I regularly experienced vivid night terrors as a young child, some that I still remember well to this day. I would sometimes wake up screaming in my sleep or roll off my bed. I would often sleep walk throughout my home in the night, and would also have nights where I would experience a half-asleep half-awake state of consciousness in which I would pace around in circles in my bedroom or living room while imagining that my dreams were connected to real life. As an example: The night after watching the movie Gravity in theaters (I was 9 years old), I sleep walked into the living room. I then woke into this trance-like state where I paced around in circles with anxiety for what felt like hours and hours as I was convinced that I was being sent to space and that I would die. Just to note- I also experienced sleep paralysis a couple times in which I would awake with a completely numb body, unable to move, with a shadowy figure standing in my doorway. These night terrors eventually went away, and they stopped around middle school. Around that time, I began experiencing very common and easy to achieve lucid dreams, both on purpose and accident.
Very often, after looking at an object for long enough, I would begin to feel that the object was either much smaller than it really was, or that it was a large object further away than it really was. By this, I don't mean that objects were literally larger or smaller in my vision. Rather that they were distorting in size while also distorting in distance from my eyes in order to maintain the same amount of space in my field of view. This would often happen in school while staring at boards, papers, or teachers. It was often very disorientating and dizzying. I could only usually make my perception return to normal after closing my eyes for long enough. Otherwise, my vision would distort more, and everything would feel strangely far away. This is something that I experienced more as a kid, but still occasionally feel even today.
In a similar vein to these visual distortions, I also occasionally experienced mild time distortions. (This is difficult to describe, so bear with me.) Also as a kid, hearing and focusing in on a particular tempo visually and auditorily (like tapping my finger at a constant interval) would cause time to feel as if it was moving significantly faster. It feels like the tapping is happening really slowly while the world around me moved faster, making me feel really anxious. This didn't happen very often, and would usually correlate to the night terrors I would have (feeling much longer than they actually were). This is something I do not experience anymore and haven't since middle school.
I also experienced a couple rare episodes of dissociation growing up. They felt pretty severe to me, feeling like I wasn't in control of my body or mind, like I was watching from far away, and everything felt cloudy and fuzzy. One in particular was very intense, and just lasted for one day- ending with me becoming severely ill and throwing up all over the place.
Nowadays I don't experience much of these things. The only real mental struggles I feel now are high social anxiety, often avoiding places and people so that I don't have to interact. College friends regularly mention to me that they walk past me and that I see them but never say hi, and I almost never realize that I had stared straight at people I know. I often feel like I walk around everyday without recognizing or even seeing people's faces, even ones close to me.
There are a couple other habits I had as a kid that might warrant looking into, but they are things I didn't want to really get into here. If anyone has any insight or shares these experiences, please comment, I'd love to hear! Looking back at all this stuff is strange and a little worrying at times, so any thoughts are appreciated! Thank you for reading this. :)

Hello, to preface this post, I am not very familiar with Reddit and am using a throwaway account as to keep this anonymous. I will likely try posting this in other subreddits to try and hear thoughts from a wider range of users. I apologize in advance if this post doesn't match exactly to how people normally use this forum.
Recently, I have been thinking a lot about some experiences I had during my life from my childhood until now (I am 20). I never really questioned most of this stuff and just assumed that the things I would experience were common and ones that everyone else around me could relate to. It wasn't until more recently when most friends I spoke to about any of this stuff thought this was somewhat abnormal or they couldn't exactly understand what I was trying to describe. So, under this paragraph, I am going to outline some mental phenomena I used to (or still do) experience. If anyone can relate to or have some better understanding for what these things are, I would really appreciate a response.
I regularly experienced vivid night terrors as a young child, some that I still remember well to this day. I would sometimes wake up screaming in my sleep or roll off my bed. I would often sleep walk throughout my home in the night, and would also have nights where I would experience a half-asleep half-awake state of consciousness in which I would pace around in circles in my bedroom or living room while imagining that my dreams were connected to real life. As an example: The night after watching the movie Gravity in theaters (I was 9 years old), I sleep walked into the living room. I then woke into this trance-like state where I paced around in circles with anxiety for what felt like hours and hours as I was convinced that I was being sent to space and that I would die. Just to note- I also experienced sleep paralysis a couple times in which I would awake with a completely numb body, unable to move, with a shadowy figure standing in my doorway. These night terrors eventually went away, and they stopped around middle school. Around that time, I began experiencing very common and easy to achieve lucid dreams, both on purpose and accident.
Very often, after looking at an object for long enough, I would begin to feel that the object was either much smaller than it really was, or that it was a large object further away than it really was. By this, I don't mean that objects were literally larger or smaller in my vision. Rather that they were distorting in size while also distorting in distance from my eyes in order to maintain the same amount of space in my field of view. This would often happen in school while staring at boards, papers, or teachers. It was often very disorientating and dizzying. I could only usually make my perception return to normal after closing my eyes for long enough. Otherwise, my vision would distort more, and everything would feel strangely far away. This is something that I experienced more as a kid, but still occasionally feel even today.
In a similar vein to these visual distortions, I also occasionally experienced mild time distortions. (This is difficult to describe, so bear with me.) Also as a kid, hearing and focusing in on a particular tempo visually and auditorily (like tapping my finger at a constant interval) would cause time to feel as if it was moving significantly faster. It feels like the tapping is happening really slowly while the world around me moved faster, making me feel really anxious. This didn't happen very often, and would usually correlate to the night terrors I would have (feeling much longer than they actually were). This is something I do not experience anymore and haven't since middle school.
I also experienced a couple rare episodes of dissociation growing up. They felt pretty severe to me, feeling like I wasn't in control of my body or mind, like I was watching from far away, and everything felt cloudy and fuzzy. One in particular was very intense, and just lasted for one day- ending with me becoming severely ill and throwing up all over the place.
Nowadays I don't experience much of these things. The only real mental struggles I feel now are high social anxiety, often avoiding places and people so that I don't have to interact. College friends regularly mention to me that they walk past me and that I see them but never say hi, and I almost never realize that I had stared straight at people I know. I often feel like I walk around everyday without recognizing or even seeing people's faces, even ones close to me.
There are a couple other habits I had as a kid that might warrant looking into, but they are things I didn't want to really get into here. If anyone has any insight or shares these experiences, please comment, I'd love to hear! Looking back at all this stuff is strange and a little worrying at times, so any thoughts are appreciated! Thank you for reading this. :)

some backstory before I get into what actually happened: my friend (22F) has been dating her partner (24M) on and off since high school. they have always been quite toxic but neither of them had physically cheated (as far as any of our friends were aware of). there has been “emotional” cheating on his side before but my friend always went back to him (which i do understand trauma bonds so I can’t completely blame her for that)
fast forward to last weekend. I was out at a bar for another friends birthday (doesn’t know my friend in question). i’ll call the friend who’s birthday it was Ella and the friend the post is about Sarah.
Ella’s sister ended up getting picked up early that night by… Sarah’s boyfriend….. when he came into the bar to get Ella’s sister he went full white and pleaded with me not to tell Sarah as he had told Sarah he was away for the weekend for work. Pretty much found out he had been sleeping with Ella’s sister for a few months now (as she was not sober one bit and let it all out)
Ella nor her sister know Sarah well and have never seen what her boyfriend looked like. Obviously I called Sarah straight away as soon as Ella’s sister went home with him. Sarah was crying and accusing me of lying and making up a story to get her to leave her boyfriend.
The story ends with Sarah rocking up to her boyfriend’s house, seeing Ella’s sister in bed with her boyfriend, leaving and blocking me on all social media/ my number. Sarah seriously thinks I somehow got Ella’s sister to sleep with her boyfriend. I’m not really sure if she actually believes that or if her boyfriend had convinced her of that.
I have tried to reach out to Sarah but nothing until today. Sarah called me on No Caller ID to thank me for ruining her relationship and her life all because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and listen to her boyfriend who was only trying to protect her feelings. Apparently her boyfriend wasn’t cheating but now doesn’t trust Sarah as she showed up to her house.
I fear she is most likely in an abusive relationship (which I guess she is now out of because he wants nothing to do with Sarah since she caught him with Ella’s sister) but I can’t help but feel guilty for all of this, and the fact I lost a long time friend over what I thought was the right thing to do.
Is there anything I should say to Sarah, or do I just cut my losses and take it as a lesson for next time not to get involved in other people’s relationships?
Thank you guys.

19M from Thrissur, this thing have been stuck in my mind since my entrance result was published, this year was a drop year for me and I stayed at home this whole year for entrance prep. I’m not a family man or home person but this is the place where I want be if I’m sad, confused, scared or anxious, I haven’t been away from home more than 1 week. My chance of getting college in south is a bit difficult, so I’ll be like 4,5 states away from my home. My family is a typical brown family, ain’t that cool, nor that toxic. Mom is having trouble because of varicose vein and dad has a bit drinking problem, have a brother in 6th standard, I’m not too close or we aren’t that caring or loving towards each other but I still miss him even when he leaves for school. We aren’t that financially well but things are going quite well, I’m planning to take education loan or I may get scholarships. I know that I can’t stay at my roots for the entire life but I’m curious that how’s my life going change after leaving this small home town of mine where I have spend my life till now, how much did your life changed, how am I going to get rid of this home sickness?, will I change?, what if I hated coming back after seeing the city lights and all that lifestyle? What if I stopped calling my mom? What if I didn’t succeed? Was it this tough leaving your home? How did you overcome this?

19M from Kerala, this thing have been stuck in my mind since my entrance result was published, this year was a drop year for me and I stayed at home this whole year for entrance prep. I’m not a family man or home person but this is the place where I want be if I’m sad, confused, scared or anxious, I haven’t been away from home more than 1 week. My chance of getting college in south is a bit difficult, so I’ll be like 4,5 states away from my home. My family is a typical brown family, ain’t that cool, nor that toxic. Mom is having trouble because of varicose vein and dad has a bit drinking problem, have a brother in 6th standard, I’m not too close or we aren’t that caring or loving towards each other but I still miss him even when he leaves for school. We aren’t that financially well but things are going quite well, I’m planning to take education loan or I may get scholarships. I know that I can’t stay at my roots for the entire life but I’m curious that how’s my life going change after leaving this small home town of mine where I have spend my life till now, how much did your life changed, how am I going to get rid of this home sickness?, will I change?, what if I hated coming back after seeing the city lights and all that lifestyle? What if I stopped calling my mom? What if I didn’t succeed? Was it this tough leaving your home? How did you overcome this?