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Hi,
I'd just like to let my story somehwere off my chest. It's not a special story, just somebody's boring life story. But as a 25 year old girl, it all makes me feel really tired. Other than eberything written below, I'm normally happy.
As already said, I'm a 25 year old female, living with mom and sister. Dad passed away when I was very little, so my mom raised me and my sister alone. I managed to complete high school, BA and MA (soon) studies and get a job 3 years ago. In that sense, everything sounds good. Anyway, through certain life circumstances, for the past year, I've been the only one working in the house. I'm okay with being helpful to my mother as a way of saying thank you for everything you did for me, but it seems like the life is passing by me while I try to be as thankful as possible. It's hard for me to do anything for myself in any way. My mom and I don't share opinions in relation to anything, so I'd like to move out to try to organize my life the way I want. But it would be almost impossible for me to pay the rent and bills for myself, and provide for mom and sister at the same time. I'd like to buy a car for myself, but it's really hard to save some money for myself when my mom constantly has new plans and wishes. Those plans and wishes are, as she says, for me and my sister. But the truth is I don't care about for instance new furniture in the house. It's not something I want. I want to go and live my life just a little bit, the way I want, without being controlled all the time. Sound like a paradox - being grown up, educated and completely financially independent girl at 25, but at the same time spending youth in the house, because in the end I'm not independent. Man, I don't ever go to vacations. Ever. Mom didn't develop a habit for us to do so, maybe couldn't afford it. Now I could afford it, but first I'm not used to it. Second, I'll give my everything to mom, to fulfill her wishes. Third, 'take your sister too'. The truth is, I wanna rest from them. Yes, there's my sister who's 2 years younger than me, dropped out of studies, and is not confident enough to work. She's completely healthy. I have no idea why she's been just sitting in the house for the past year. She just has issues with her confidence. I really have no time to think about that problem as well, since I travel to another city for work, study and think of million other things.
I'm not trying to make myself look huge. I don't think I am. Those are normal things in life. I'm just sometimes too tired, and no person that has any interaction with me in my life is aware of how hard I try to keep everything in order and how tired I am.
I don't even care if I get banned, judged or ignored here. I don't even care if I sound frustrated, because I am a bit. I understand I should fight for myself, but it's hard to find a line between fighting for yourself and being rude, disrespectful and unthankful. I'm just leaving this post and this sentence here as a wish for myself, as a wish sent to the universe to help me become a better person, stronger, and push me to live my life with full lungs, the way I want and enjoy the life for at least a small portion of time.

Firstly, I’m not trying to shit on anyone I’m just genuinely curious if it’s like this everywhere, I work at a major brand store, 180-200 cars a month, 13 sales people, 3 sales managers (New, Used, GSM) the new and used car managers are ALWAYS in bad moods, no matter what, bring them a cake deal, bad mood, ask them for advice or to discount so we can get the sale, bad mood. It seems like they hate doing their jobs. To the point it’s effecting my, and others sales margins, deals that if we had discounted 500 more dollars the customer would have bought, I’ll give an example, I just brought a deal to my Used manager, $27k MSRP, customer wants to look at numbers, I show him OTD on AutoFi it’s 30 and some change, he says, “ oh no I can’t do that I see these cars on auto trader for $25k all day”, he shows me 3 of the same vehicle for 25 in Nashville I tell him, we can’t beat a price that’s 2 states away he insist he wants to buy local just not for $30k I tell him I’ll see what I can do, inform my manager he’s interested just not for 30 can we do anything to get him closer to 27 just so I can get rid of this car that’s been on our lot for 35 days, he prints a pencil with a 500 discount 29.5 OTD I bring it to the guy already knowing he’s a goner, dude laughs and says “really? That’s the absolute best you guys can do? I’m will to give you cash today” now, 25 is a crazy ask I get that, but 500 off is also a joke, the guy was wealthy and ready to buy, if we could have taken even 1k off it could have worked, we got the car in on a trade for 24k ACV I just feel like the attitude of my manager was “fuck this guy” so he didn’t even try to make the sale happen, I pushed and prodded offering our service package, 2 free oil changes , basically everything they tell us to say and he just leaves. After he’s gone I tell my manager and he says “call him and tell him we will do 26 sales price 27.5 OTD” like really? AFTER the guy leaves you give me some ammo to work with? Now I look like an asshole calling this dude after he’s already gone. Idk I’m new to this business so maybe they see something I don’t but I felt like if we worked a little harder it could have been a done deal.

I was born In a violent place, I'm trans and my country is dangerous, I suffer there a lot, rape, and domestic violence, all my life. I came to the Netherlands to work and change my life, the company put me in an accommodation with 250 people from different cultures, and on my birthday after months alone and without friends and family, I bought this Xbox S, to play something and use my free time, the internet was to slow and was taking to a long time to download my warframe, I play this game from 2016 until now. 12 hours to download, so I bought wine just relaxed, and waited, I was there outside sitting in one of the trees taking some sum and drinking alone, I never drink too much, and this guy came and started to talk, my English is shit but was ok, he asked me some wine and I give, after some minutes I started to feel like in the clouds my body was not working good, I tried to get up but no strong in the leg and arms, I was feeling like I can't move and in jail inside myself, he took me to the woods and rape me I was feeling nothing, I couldn't do anything, I have no idea how long time this take, I just wanted to this stop, and I have some blackout, was dark when I was able to move and I finally got strong to move and I came to the room, I was in shame and guilty of myself, I was confused I sleep in the floor for 2 days and after that, I go to the police, they asked proves, video or photos, (wtf??) nobody helps me, I tried to work as nothing had happened and every time I looked to people I feel like they know that and I was feeling dirty, I started to use drugs to go work and try to get better alone, nobody will help me, I get that, here I'm a nobody, so in some moment I was not able to work (1 month later ) I put sick and I never come back to work, I made everything to run from that place, I find a room In other city and I just move in that same day, here, I found some silence and loniless, until this Bulgarian old guy started to bother me with small things, I cant wash my clothes always because he complain with the owner saying is too much, I can not cook because if I forgot just 1 seed of rice fall he complain saying I leave all kitchen dirty, I can not even pass in front his door he complain about noises. I feel like doesn't matter where I go, everything will be the same, I don't have money to rent another place, I eat instant pasta for weeks, and I try to be invisible, but is impossible, I found a doctor but, she says I have to move on, I have 37 and I'm old to continue to cry, I have a rabbit now, but, I have no help, no family, friends, I feel like Netherlands hate me so much, and this ongs I tried to get help, they say here is not my place and I'm not Dutch and I should back to my country, I have no place to go back and no strong to forward, drugs yeah I'm still using just to not feel more pain, now I look everything in my life and I think I just want to die and give up from all this shit. Maybe I should, I have nobody anyway, if I die nobody will missing, and maybe the next life can be better. IDK maybe I have no hope anymore. I'm tired of this place but I can't go because the agency still pays me, but just enough to rent, insurance, and food. I'm stuck in hell. Dutch people are the most fake and ignorant people I ever met in the world, if you are an immigrant, they will be polite and put you down with beautiful words. They care only about taking you out of the way. 😔

First time cruiser here. This summer we are on the 7 day cruise to Alaska on Ovation of the Seas. I see other posting about getting a check in time. How does this work? I assumed you show up at the pier some time during the roughly 6 hrs window prior to sailing. Do we have assigned check in times? What if my time is 1pm and I show up at 2pm.
Also, there are others in our party, so my mom is sharing the cabin with her friend and I am sharing with my friend. The 3 of us are flying in to Seattle, renting a car and exploring for 2 days prior. I was going to drop them at the pier to board, then I would return the car and take the shuttle back so I don't have to pay for 3 people on the shuttle. Will we be allowed to board if we are not all together? My mom's friend is arriving separately too.
TIA

I am going to Tulum for about a month in June. I’m staying in 2 different airbnbs during my stay… both are just south of Centro.
What is the best option for transportation? I’ve read taxis are a bad idea. Is renting a car a bad idea? It seems like all of the transportation I’ve found is as expensive or more than a rental car.
What is the best way to get to and from the Tulum airport? And what is the best way to get to and from the beach if it’s a 10-15 min drive?

Hi there! I have been granted permission to use my office at my full time job (private php/iop tx center) to see therapy clients of my own, after normal business hours.
I need to find or create a document stating that the tx center will not be liable for my clients or myself/anything that happens related to me working in that space after hours - I have my own liability insurance and their blessing. It’s a beautiful office and I’m so excited for this opportunity (and not having to pay any overhead,rent,percentage!!!!!)
However, I started looking online and am pretty overwhelmed bc I don’t know what specifically I’m looking for.
ISO recommendations for online services/templates to use to get this off the ground. TIA!

I originally posted this one findapath but then someone commented and recommended that I post here. I'm not sure if this will get any action but I just thought I'd try it and see. I feel stuck. I have no idea what to do
I'm currently 19F but I will be 20 next month. This month makes 2 years since I graduated high school and I wanted to go to college but didn't because I didn't have the money nor did I have scholarships.
My parents are both poop so they were no help at all. I went from working at walmart and now I'm at amazon but it's taking a toll on my body. I'm skinny but my bones are bad. My knees hurt, my feet, and my back. I feel like I'm wasting my life away and it makes me sad. Time has been going by so fast so I know in the blink of an eye I will be 30 and feel even more bad about wasting my life away at amazon.
I really need more money as I stay with my grandparents right now because neither of my "parents" have their own place. Sometimes I feel like my life is a complete joke. I'm tired of being with my grandparents because they're old so the way they think is just odd. Plus I feel like a burden.
I want to move out but I don't have the money to do so because last year I was in an accident, totaling my car and so I had to get a new one and start all over with my payments. And my insurance skyrocketed. So now my car payments are $335 and my insurance is $445 plus my phone bill which is $105. So that's already $885 I have to kick out a month when I only make about $2000 a month because amazon doesn't pay that well.
I just feel like my life is so pointless and I will never find my purpose. I don't know what I want to do. I hate waking up everyday just to go to amazon for 10 hours and feel like I want to cry 24/7.
I also think I'm having a crisis because I've been wanting to just up and move to another country. I thought about studying abroad. Idk. I just need something else that could get me more money. I hate being sad every single day. I want to move out. I'm willing to try anything. But I really don't want a job with commission pay. Also if there was a way for me to go to college maybe not for free but for a cheaper price, I would. Though I'm not sure what I would major in.

Harrison Butker’s commencement speech has been spending entirely too much time living rent-free in my head. I’ve seen a lot of “I cannot believe he said that in 2024!” and disbelief that anyone still actually thinks like that. A lot of women (including myself) are justifiably livid. But it doesn’t surprise me. I grew up in a place where those ideas were just…life.
I (37F) grew up “evangelical-adjacent.” I say this because, while my parents never really subscribed to the gender or social norms of conservative evangelicalism, most people around me did. I went to church camps as a teen, and at my religiously-affiliated college, traditional gender roles were expected, and even joked about (gotta get that MRS degree!).
As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize how much that entire way of thinking permeated not only my life, but my psyche. And that is what makes me SO MAD about that commencement speech. I know what imbibing those gender assumptions can do. I internalized all of the traditional gender roles I was exposed to as a teenager and young adult, and the result is an adult woman who feels incredible guilt for wanting and needing fulfillment elsewhere.
This legacy of evangelical gender norms in my life has hurt my marriage. My husband and I have had so many fights about unequal division of labor, but not because he was lazy or uninvolved—because he wanted to be my partner, and I wouldn’t let him. It took 6 months of couples counseling for me to recognize this. I was taking everything on myself without communicating to him that I was drowning, because the gender roles I was exposed to when I was younger were showing back up again after our son was born.
I married a man who wants to be an equal partner in all things. But the entrenched conviction of “women are supposed to do this” has its hold on me, even still. After 6.5 years of marriage, my husband recently took over all the cooking, meal planning, and thinking about food in our house. He had been begging me to let him do that for YEARS—and I couldn’t let him, because doing so somehow meant that I’d failed as a woman and as a wife. And even when I did finally get out of my own way, it took a lot longer before it just became second nature. I still feel guilty about it sometimes, like last night, when I collapsed after a very tough week at work while he both made dinner and entertained our toddler.
I have chosen a career over staying at home, and I would rather manage a project at work than make dinner. And the guilt I sometimes feel about the fact that I prefer those things is painful. “You don’t get personal fulfillment from baking cookies? What kind of woman are you?”
So this is why this speech makes me so mad: because I have tried to live that life, and found it so unfulfilling as to be damaging. I will be working to untangle the legacy of evangelical social thought from my life forever. I knew I wanted something different than that for my life, and I don’t live in that world anymore. But the legacy is real.
*I know Butker is a Trad Catholic, not an evangelical, and that there are differences. But the thinking on gender roles and women’s rights is the same; Trad Catholics just throw some Latin in on the top.

My marriage is a sham. I don’t want to sleep with him anymore. I don’t think I love him anymore. Pretty sure he doesn’t love me. He’s a Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde narcissist, and I’ve had enough. I know I should divorce him. But I’m just so, so scared.
Finances. Surviving with my kids scares me.
Tell me, divorced bromos, how did you do it?
I have 4 boys. They all still live at home. My oldest has a full time job. He pays his own clothes, car, insurance, health insurance, etc, so I don’t have to pay his way. My next kiddo is in community college. I pay his rent and utilities to the tune of about $600/month, plus $4K in tuition each semester. He doesn’t have a job (I want him to focus on classes), so I completely support him right now. Number 3 and 4 are under 18 and in grade school full time.
I work four days a week and make about $48K/year. I JUST bought a new car and have a $700/month+ payment, but I’m paying $1000/month to knock a couple years off of the loan. Our house is paid. I have about $3K in credit card debt, but no other debt.
Husband and I have been together 29 years, married 25 years this year. I just went back to work this year after staying home with my kids most of my marriage. We have a prenup.
I anticipate a very messy, expensive divorce process.
How does this work? How does one come out on the other side with enough money and strength to raise their kids?
I just can’t believe 29 years of my life has come down to this. I’m just so sad. So lost, in so much pain……I just don’t know how to do this and I’m so, so scared. Any guidance or advice or even happy ending stories would be appreciated.

Hi, I am a (30F) and he is a (34M), we have been married almost 10 years next year in August will be 10 years. I need to know what my options are since we have two kids together. One is a toddler, and the other one is 10. He has no papers or legal work permit. He placed it like 4 years ago, due to the pandemic it is slow to receive a response of what will happen since he is waiting for the pardon. I don't want to be with him anymore. He works full time; I only work part time in the weekends. My toddler does not go to daycare she is 2 and a half. I don't want him to lose his chance in getting a green card but, I don't want to be with him anymore. I also have a mobile home that was gifted to me as donation since it was going to be destroyed. He has helped with improving it and paying the rent and bills. Will I lose it? He does not want to leave since he can be very controlling and says why should he pay me alimony since he will just help me with child support the minimal. He is not an empathetic person, so I feel a bit fear from separating from him. What should I do? How to I become guided? I fear I won't make it as a single mom. I am still paying for my car which is a 4oo payment and 200 in insurance. Rent and bills is $1000. I get paid minimum wage as a receptionist.

Okay so my score was just 694 then I got my last collection taken off and it dropped down to 541… I have 36% of my total credit lines in use which I am paying down to get to zero …. What else can I do to get my score up?? I am looking to buy a house in late 2025 , I don’t have any car payments no student loans or any other debt besides a total of like 500$ in credit card debt .
What’s the best way to boost my score ? Should I just pay the 500$ off and just make small purchases on each card and pay it off by the due date on each card & setup auto pay so I never miss a payment ? Please help I am unsure about why my score dropped after getting a collection remove but just looking for advice from the people who know their stuff and have done it themself !
I thank you in advance for your time !
edit these scores mentioned above are off of credit karma so vantage scores , I am waiting to use my my free credit report free once a year check next month to see if my score goes back to normal and see if it just dropped for this month because of the collection removal. In the past my score raised when it got removed so idk what’s going on

The actual card got sent to my dad's house but he gave me the info on it. Can I just use the card numbers at Hertz?

*no credit card debt
Multi-year personal injury lawsuit settled the other day and after lawyer fees/medical expenses I'll be left with around $400k USD.
Currently make $140k annually with zero debt aside from a $300k mortgage at 6.8% ($2,500 monthly payment) and about $30k left on a car loan at 5% ($660 monthly payment). I’ve maxed out my Roth IRA and 401k over the past few years and have about $115k in investments/retirement and a $20k emergency fund.
I am planning on using $10k from the settlement to go on a nice vacation and buy my girlfriend a new laptop. I want to use the rest of the money towards retirement while also having it available if need be for a down payment on another house if we decide to keep our current one and rent it out when we move.
I was thinking of locking up the remaining $390k in a 6 month treasury to take a breath and figure out how best to use it next. I have a friend in wealth management who is recommending short term bonds given interest rates and the uncertainty in the market, but that doesn’t sound aggressive enough for me long term.
I can really use some outside advice/perspective. Thank you!

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I know a lot of people say if you feel the need to ask, then I probably need to, but I feel like I'm too anxious to think properly. There's so much it's gonna be long.
My (23) fiance's (24) sister (Y 31) is getting back together with a piece of shit(D 42). She said so last night. They have two kids Niece(V 10) and Nephew(X 4). POS used to hit V the past 2 years because she wouldn't stay in his mom's livingroom and watch YouTube when she was supposed to be homeschooled. X has type 1 diabetes and D would let him eat whatever while Y worked 12-18hr shifts DAILY. He spent all of Y's money, especially the day before rent was due (so they also couldn't afford a lot of insulin).
D got mad at Y for the littlest things while she was home and made her clean and cook everything. He stays on his computer with headphones on all day (he started a streaming channel that's only live stream. Some lasted for as short as 6hrs to as long as 10hrs. He gave that up to get in online arguments).
They had to live in his mom's houses bc she only charged them $500 of rent. She'd come over to yell at Y for not taking better care of D and the kids. We offered to buy land, they pay a third and we'd pay the rest. They said yes and pulled out the last second, leaving us stranded and having to start over.
D confessed to having a crush on me since I was 17, two months ago, so they have been separated for less than a month. Me and my husband came over often to help clean and cook and watch niece. She'd been talking abt never getting with him and going for only women (she's bi and never got to date any women before this 12yr relationship). We even went to a club where she spent 4hrs making out with and grinding on a woman intermittently.
Y found out abt the beatings late last year and only told D to stop drinking. He agreed but didn't go to AA. D told V he'd stop hitting her if she was good, which is when she started being a people pleaser to him and a brat to Y. I feel like he said more besides that, otherwise why has V been so mean to her mom? Everyday she talks abt her dad and living in his state (he moved there when they separated to be with his mom and took X but not V). Last week we saw a picture of X with a couple bruises on the side of his face and head and D took the phone when X said he missed his mom. Idk if I should believe that X fell off the couch or not.
Y said she's gonna be with D in his state (she hates it there and all the people he surrounds her with) even though he lied abt going to therapy when he got there. She said they'll just do counseling when she gets there. (Idk where to add this but he also told V he was leaving to his state 1. Bc his mom was sick and his dad got in a car crash and 2. Bc my fiance and I were mean to him. We told him we didn't have a positive opinion of him, which he was surprised about.)
Y's an adult who can make her own decisions but idk if this is a good decision to make. Regardless I have no say, but i dont see this turning out well for the kids or her.
She's willingly making her mom homeless (my MIL lives with Y) and has said she will be going low contact with us bc we were so willing to join in her "unwarranted" anger with D. I do not feel like this is a decision she is willing to make or that this will turn out well at all. Bad vibes all around but I've also been told I'm too invested in this even though I only had one conversation with Y abt what she would like to do in the future and if there was anything we could do to help her.
Do I have a good reason to be worried and call CPS a week after she moves there? Is this at all a normal family? I'm very anxious and hypervigilant when it comes to kids bc I was severely abused and neglected when I was younger, but I tend to overreact and pick apart behaviors in kids that make my mind go crazy with scenarios. That's why I tried my best to only put things I'm certain happened and a bit of how I feel.
Tl;Dr BIL-in-law is abusive in my eyes. I don't think the kids nor my SIL will be safe living with him. Should I call CPS a week after they move to another state?

Hello,
We have booked a 10 nights vacation in Palau, north east Sardinia because of the beautiful Maddalena island and the east region seems rich in places to visit, Porto cervo and Olbia, and also there are a lot of nice looking beaches. We aim for a relaxing vacation, meaning not to jump from town to town each day but more oriented at beaches and chill visit some local villages.
I need some advice regarding this vacation. I listed some questions that are in my mind, feel free to respond with your opinions.

1. Is Palau a good place to stay?
   
2. Should we rent a car if we stay in Palau? Do we need it to visit Porto cervo/Olbia and the nearby beaches.
   
3. Is 10 nights too much for north east Sardinia? If not, can you please suggest some important, not to miss, things to do in north east?
   
4. Should we split our stay and book some days for San Teodoro or Cagliari?
   

Thank you a lot for taking the time to help me!

Hello ! So here’s my situation. I’m 21, still living at home. I make about 3200$ after taxes a month, and am trying to choose whether to move out or not. I have a 2 people who I could move out with as roommates, and pay around 400-500$ a month as my portion of the rent. Or, I could choose to stay at home. My family at home has been very kind and I’m actually constructing a small apartment suite out of the downstairs of my house. I’m putting the cost into building it, and doing the labor, however I wouldn’t have any rent. So really I’m at a crossroads now where I’d really like to be fully independent, away from parents etc. but I could also live in the apartment suite, rent free, and put that money more towards savings and investments. I’m happy to answer any other questions but really I just can’t choose what would be best for me right now.

Yesterday I did a valve adjustment (my first ever time doing one on a car) on my 2003 with 215k miles. I noticed some really bad wear on the cylinder 1 exhaust lobe. I did my adjustments and put it all back together and then started the car. It had a horrible shake from cylinder 1 misfiring.
I started looking at JDM engines and shops near me who might be able to replace it. This morning, I figured I would check the spark plug and coil one more time, cleaned them both well and put them back in and started the car. Still misfiring. As I get ready to take the valve cover off, I notice the damn fuel injector was unplugged, which I did to free up some space while adjusting the intake valves. No more misfire, but I don't think that cylinder 1 lobe has much life left in it.
Has anyone had their engine swapped? And how much did the shop charge? I live in southern CA.