my natural hair brown 3a or more curly 2c type , i have a kinda longer than normal oval face shape , , i want gen z type hair (teenager hairstyle since i am teen boy ) , whats the best hair style for me and whats the name of it and how to style it , i

Asian whose hair is turning white. Could dye it its natural brownish black shade but wanting something a little more fun and vibrant but still conservative enough for professional work environment. For reference, my skin would be considered darkish for my race. The coloring often tricks people into thinking i’m southeast asian. Think filipina but lighter and a slightly yellower brown.
I have cool undertones but often don’t look good in cool colors because my skin’s outward appearance makes me appear deceptively warm, similar to what would happen if a true warm wore cool colors. I’d look jaundiced. I also look terrible in warm and neutral colors. They make me look sick, washed out, and still jaundiced. The only color i look okay in is bright white. (I don’t like my skin color either but what can you do?)
What colors would work? I’d like to include highlights or similar if they’d make me look more ‘alive’. I just feel old and blah. I’m also not opposed to a different hairstyle in addition though i don’t look good with layers or short hair (chunky and oddly shaped face/head).

Chapter 26 - The Infinite Beckons
Previous Chapter
“Okay, this part’s a little tricky.” Ma’et gestured out the shuttle’s cockpit. “You got lined up easy enough, and our velocity’s at a relative zero to the ship. The bay door’s open. Now you engage the lateral thrusters while monitoring the distance from the shuttle to the bay’s interior wall. Come in too fast and you’ll damage them both..”
Trix looked over at the controls, and the neatly gummed labels that the humans had placed over the English text with her own language. She gingerly pressed the ‘Lateral Thruster’ button, then as the control knob next to it lit up, she twisted it slowly.
An earlier misadventure when lining up the ship and the shuttle where she’d twisted the control knob much more rapidly made her much more cautious about giving it too much power too quickly, yet the shuttle slowly drifted - away from the ship. “Other thruster, feathers.”
Chagrined, she dialed the thruster back to zero, then rotated it the other direction. The ship immediately stopped moving away, and instead drifted into the hangar bay. Trix watched as it drifted past the door, staring at the distance readout until it dropped into the yellow and immediately swung the knob the other way. It took a couple of tries to get the velocity back to zero, but she managed it.
“Beautiful. Now we engage the grav plating which lets the ship’s internal grav pull us down as it ramps up, and close the external door via the console over there.” Ma’et gestured to the remote console, and Trix scanned it, punching the buttons as she found them.
“Nicely done. Go ahead and hit the engine shutdown. In the old days there’d be like, thirty steps to it but nearly all of it is automated. But lucky you, you get to read all about the manual sequence since taking over in the event of computer failure is one of a pilot’s duties.” Ma’et chuckled and squeezed Trix’s shoulder. “For now, that’s good enough. Go ahead and open both the lateral boarding door, and the rear loading door. Also extend the rear loading ramp.”
Trix did, then glanced over at Ma’et. “Anything more?”
“Nope. First day on the job, and you’ve done the first job successfully. Not perfectly, but pretty damn good for your first time piloting off planet. Go ahead and head back to talk with the Captain, and I’ll handle the rest.”
Trix unbuckled the acceleration harness (Though, she felt zero acceleration during the entire trip so she couldn’t fathom just WHY Ma’et had insisted on her buckling in) and moved past the much smaller woman as she left the cockpit.
In the back, Josh was already outside the ship, grabbing a handtruck. She watched as he pushed it up the loading ramp to the stack of boxes that contained the food and equipment she’d need for the next few weeks of existence here in space. “Why aren’t you using one of the gravity belts?” She gestured over to the wall where the belts were hanging.
“Eh, this stuff’s fairly light and those have a limited lifespan. I don’t want to burn out the Keplite cores on stuff we can just move by hand. They’re expensive.”
“Oh. What’s Keplite, anyway? Ji and Min have mentioned it a few times.” Trix glanced over at the large belts with their big circular pads in the middle.
Before Josh could answer, Alex walked in between them. “Ji, Min! We’re going to be converting the room across from yours back into crew quarters for Trix. Gonna need you two to move the Spider. Is there room here in the hangar for it?”
“It’ll fit better if we assemble it and use packing mode.” Ji countered, as he hopped out of the shuttle. “It’ll take a day or so. We’ve got it spread all out in there.”
Alex turned over to Trix and beckoned. “Follow me. Gonna give you the full tour while they’re unloading." He took a few steps back, then lifted his arms wide to gesture to their surroundings. "This is obviously the hangar bay. Shuttle's the big thing you were just flying. Below us is a small cargo hold, empty right now. Not gonna show you unless you happen to like large empty boring-ass boxes.” He raised an eyebrow, and Trix quickly shook her head. "Alright. Most of the shit in here is just maintenance tools and loading gear. Nothing exciting. Ramp to main transit corridor here."
They walked out into the hallway. “Okay, well through that door’s opposite the hangar is the fabber bay. The fabber is a huge machine that manufactures stuff for us, like a 3D printer. Do you guys have anything like that?” Trix shrugged, and Alex continued. “Well either way, it can make virtually anything from a bed to a bomb to a computer. The more complex and difficult items take a hell of a lot longer to make. It’s also a major power hog since the manufacturing process uses extremely powerful fields, both magnetic and force. In other words, if you need something and we didn’t bring it with you we can make it here.”
He walked down the hall a bit, and gestured to the doors on either side. “Launcher bays, 1 and 2. Normally we use ‘em to launch beacons, buoys, sensors, things like that into space. If someone tries to start shit with us we CAN use them to launch missiles but we have very few of those available. We’re not out here to get in fights, but if we have to defend ourselves we pack a big punch.” He opened one of the doors and walked inside. “The big hatch over there is the manual tube loader. The ship can auto-load various things but if we need to put something into space that isn’t already in storage, that’s where we do it. If Ji tells you to climb in yourself, he’s joking and you should hit him because it only exists to launch shit into space.”
Trix laughed at that, but she had learned enough of Ji’s sense of humor while working on the car to understand the sentiment. “Will I even be in here at all though?”
“Maybe. If something needs to be manually loaded, we use these. Back when we were at the derelict ship I had to send a battery over to help out while we planned our rescue. You might be asked to do the same.” Alex shrugged and lead her out into the hall. “Last thing here is the ship’s primary armament.” He reached over to the side of the hallway and pressed a hatch release. The compartment it lead to was incredibly small and tightly cramped.
“We don’t use it much outside of scaring off pirates or relieving stress, but this is our primary weapon out in space. Eight-chamber five meter long rotary railgun. Fires one round every 1.2 seconds that travel roughly a million kilometers per hour when fired stationary, or closer to 280 kilometers per second. It fires either solid armor-piercing unguided slugs or flak munitions that are used to produce clouds of metallic debris. The former will shred a ship’s armor and pulverize anything inside. The latter can overwhelm particle shields and damage exterior components without nearly as much penetration. The reason I’m saying all this to you,” He tapped the top of the cannon where it joined to the ship. “This thing’s got a super limited firing arc. Meaning that we can only shoot what we’re pointed at. If, by some miracle, we get into a fight out there then our ability to shoot back is gonna depend on your ability to fly the ship while facing the enemy.”
Trix swallowed heavily as she tried to imagine just how powerful this massive cannon was. She glanced over at the side of it, to the twin belts that fed in ammo. Each round it would fire was longer than her forearm and thicker than her waist.
“That’s the worst case scenario though. In reality, if we get into any shit out there, fighting is the LAST thing we want to do. Negotiation to avoid hostility first, escape second, fight last.” Alex shooed her out of the compartment. “That said if we encounter any low-yield junk out there then we’ll get some target practice in. If you’re game then we can let you try targeting for a bit and unload some kinetic mayhem while things are dull.” He grinned wickedly, as he manually pulled the hatch back into place, sliding two large locking levers into place.
“Okay, that’s it for this deck. There’s stairs on the far side leading up to the tech deck but the ladder here’s quicker.”
They climbed up the ladder, with Alex leading and Trix following. Her wings banged against the ceiling as she climbed, and it took her a few moments to get them tucked in tight enough to get through the hatch but with Alex’s help they got up there.
“Tech deck. Mostly. In the front of the ship here right under Bridge access is the exception, the pool room.” He opened the door and they walked in together. “Mainly used for observation but the pool there is great for relaxation. You can adjust the temperature with the controls on the wall there, goes from chilly to full on hot tub. Adjustable depth from 3 to 10 feet, and the pool walls are display panels. If you use a breather it’s fun to turn the display to external then go down underwater and relax while staring at the stars. Do you swim much?”
Trix nodded. “Sure, there’s a river a… couple kilometers? I think? I’m not good with converting distances yet. Anyway, it’s near the hab and we’d go there when I was younger and didn’t have as much to do in the fields.”
“Cool. Well, feel free to use it but just a word of warning you might want to check if anyone’s in first. Swimwear is optional and since the crew is a pretty tight family we don’t usually get embarrassed if we’re seen swimming in the buff.” Alex waved over at the control console. “If you’re not sure the big green button on the outside is the comm button, just ask if anyone’s using it.”
“Ji brought me in here when we came up to do the medical scans. He showed me Kiveyt from orbit for the first time. Do all human ships have a room like this?” Trix reached over to dip her hand into the water. It was quite warm to the touch.
“Nah. This ship wasn’t originally designed as a scout ship or survey ship. It was originally a yacht. Big luxury vehicle for rich people to fly around in space and have fun in. Throw parties. Most of the ridiculous amenities it has I got rid of ages ago, but that left a huge amount of space we filled up with all the launchers and sensors and whatnot. I kept the pool though because I love soaking after a long day.” He pressed the door control and they left the pool room.
“Just past the pool room on either side of the ship we have collection dishes for D-space particles. Those are EVA only, so you won’t be dealing with those. They let us collect extremely powerful particles which lead back here.” Alex spoke as he walked, and turned the corner into a much, much larger room.
“This is the ship’s main power supply. Charged particles enter the torus reactor and discharge energy which is converted into electrical power and routed through the ship. Those bottles over there…” He gestured to four massive grey metal canisters on the wall. “Contain the actual particles. They’re made of the strongest materials we have because if one ruptured, the ship would instantly explode from the inside out. Don’t worry,” Alex quickly raised his hands. “The chances of that happening are virtually impossible. This is the single most well-protected location on the ship.”
He gestured to the other side of the large room. “Over there’s the terminals that Min is usually at. She and Ji are in charge of all engineering. That means power, propulsion, all computer systems, and the like. Well, the physical parts of them that is. Ma’et is our computer geek when it comes to integration, programming, and all the fun software shit.”
Alex left the room, and gestured to the other side. “I’m sure you’re familiar with medical over there. Let’s do us both a favor and not have to go there much. Otherwise I’m pretty sure Kyshe will gut me.” He didn’t stop to show her inside, and they reached the main staircase. “The back half of the ship on this deck is all propulsion access and maintenance. I’m more or less our damage control guy, along with Ji and Min. For them it’s because they’re smart as shit and for me it’s because I had to learn how to maintain my own ship. Most common damage out here is stray micro meteors or debris while we’re parked and the particle shields are down. Sometimes worn out components inside. Again, no EVA for you so the only thing you’ll need to worry about for DC is being an assistant to one of us while we fix shit.”
They went up the stairwell to the uppermost of the three floors. “There used to be an observation bubble above us, but I had it removed because it was useless. Even if I covered it with ablative plating it was a massive wart on top of the ship that served zero practical purpose. Anyway, the top floor here is where you’ll spend 90% of your time on the ship. Back here…” Alex started walking to the rear of the ship, and walked through a large open doorway. “Mess hall. We generally have two kinds of meals here - when we’re on long deployment, the food extruder over there can produce rations. They’re not amazing but they’re quick both to make and eat. It’ll also make reasonable meat and dairy substitutes. If you want a real meal though we usually keep the good stuff in deep freeze so it takes a fair amount of time to be ready. Other than that the bev dispenser is over there. Water and various juices on tap all the time, alcohol is restricted only to meals only. We all get together for breakfast and dinner though, since it’s just a good way to socialize. Tonight expect a big meal in celebration.”
He walked out of the mess, and opened a door to a large open area. “Rec room. Not used a whole lot because most of us use haptic suits for exercise and recreation but we don’t have a suit that’ll fit you or your wings, so I want you to be in here twice a week at least. Ma’et is a great partner for any exercise that doesn’t involve fighting, unless you like bruises in which case she’ll happily go a few rounds with gloves on. Pilots don’t get the level of exercise you’re used to on the planet working fields so exercise up here will be pretty damn vital.”
She looked around the room, then hurried to catch up to the captain as he walked out. “On the other side of the hall from the Mess is general storage. Cleaning supplies, a small laundry unit if the one in your room quits working, random odds and ends. Also a few extra bunks just in case we need them. Unfortunately I am going to have to have you spend one night in here while we get your room cleaned up and ready for you.” He walked in, and over to one of the walls. “Bunk folds down from here. Looks, uh…” He glanced at the fold-down bed and back at Trix. “Looks tight. Do me a favor and see if you’re gonna be OK there?”
It was very close, but Trix laid down on the sleeping pad and adjusted until she found a good comfortable spot. “For just one night, this will do…”
“Alright, no worries then. We’ll have your room ready quick as we can.” She got off the pad and Alex gestured for her to follow. “Quarters themselves are here, 4 on either side of the main hallway. Myself, Josh, Ma’et, and Amanda on the right in that order. Ji, Min, Your quarters, and the last was converted into a mechanical room for Par. Speaking of…”
He walked into the last room and knocked on a large hatch. “Par, would it be alright if I introduced our newest shipmate?”
“Of course, Captain.” The hatch slid silently open revealing a large, intricate array. Circuit boards were laid out in rows and wires ran between them in perfectly neat, ordered channels. In the center of it all was a large oblong egg-looking object. “Trix, may I present to you Parathanelias Sigma-822.”
Several rows of lights lit up along the side of the egg, and the pleasant musical voice she’d heard so often came from a small speaker alongside it. “It is a pleasure to meet you in person, Trksehnoarala.”
Trix stared at the open hatch then gestured behind her. “I thought you were in those floating metal balls…?”
“The spheres you mention are my remotes. None of them are large enough to house my primary systems. In a way, they are my eyes, ears, and limbs. My true nature is integration here within the ship itself, and I make up for my limited mobility in person by having the greatest mobility of any other member of the crew.”
“He also has an avatar in VR of an organic human, but most of the time he uses the floating spheres to interact with us and the rest of the world. His core,” Alex gestured to the egg-like central object, “houses his base personality and his most important memories. The rest of this is extra storage for less critical information. I’m a bit jealous because his most important memories will always be preserved forever in perfect clarity. The rest of us get to have our memories fade with time, but his will be eternal.”
Alex stood there mutely for a moment then shook his head. “Anyway. Back to the tour. Thanks Par!”
“My pleasure.” The hatch slid silently shut and Alex and Trix left the room. “This room has been empty for long enough I pretty much gave it over to Ji and Min for a long while.” Alex walked into the room next to Par’s. “It’s kind of a mess but we’re going to get it cleaned up then it’ll be yours.”
There was no bed in the room, and the tables against the walls were covered with electronics and quickboards. In the center of the room, a huge metal contraption was spread out. Eight large jointed legs were wired in to a big central circular turret. Above that, a multitude of ‘limbs’ extended out - one a large grasper with clawed metal fingers, another ending with an odd cone-shaped implement with a blackened tip. A third was a huge metal pipe jutting out, and a fourth looked to be a number of small openings to place something into.
Trix gestured to it, “What is THAT thing?”
“That’s the Spider. It’s a long-time project the Twins have been working on. Pretty much since they joined the crew, really. It was meant to be a mechanical walker for the military but… well, that’s their story to tell.” Alex snorted. “There’s going to be enough time to go into the details later. Point is, before we even start leaving the system we’re gonna move this out, get a full king sized bed in here for you, some more storage, and so on. That door,” He gestured to a door on the other side of the room, “Leads to a hygiene unit. Full on shower, no bath but if you want to soak the Pool’s down a floor. Aside from no tub it has a deluxe toilet, sink, and a small cleaning unit for clothes.”
Trix cautiously stepped around the large disassembled robot, and opened the door to peer inside. The hygiene unit was much larger than she’d expected, and she was grateful to see that most of the facilities was familiar to her.
“Okay, one last stop and it’s the most important.” Alex walked out into the hallway and Trix rushed to catch up, almost tripping as she hopped over a piece of scrap cable along the floor. “I’m sure this will become your second home on the ship real fast. The bridge.”
They walked down the hall through a small access corridor into a large, wide open space. A large chair sat in the center with a number of controls and articulating arms present on the back. In front of it, a number of control panels were arranged in rows. The front of the bridge and both sides were dominated by massive window screens that showed the area the ship was currently facing. She could see one screen to the side with a display showing Kiveyt, first as a small dot with a zoomed-in and blown up image next to it.
“The door back there in the corner leads to a briefing room, nothing special there but a table and chairs. The big chair in the middle is mine, but if you ask super nicely I’ll let you sit in it.” Alex grinned, and pointed at the console in the very center of the bridge, in front of the Captain’s chair. “But that station over there is primary navigation. Josh is there quite a lot of the time, though just as often I navigate from the Captain’s Chair or Ma’et controls the ship from her neural interface. As of now, though, I bequeath ownership of it unto you - for the next few weeks, at least.”
Trix walked around the bridge staring at everything. The control consoles were smooth, rounded and sleek in their presentation. Each one had a large keyboard in front covered with the strange runes of the Humans’ language. Various other instruments and implements were present at each station, but at hers she smiled gratefully to see that the keys had already changed and had more familiar and recognizable letters in place of the Humans odd script. The layout was definitely weird, and she knew it was going to take time and effort to grow accustomed but at the very least she would be able to understand what she was doing as she learned. Even better, the seat lacked the same high back that the other seats had, which would have been pressed tightly and uncomfortably against her wings.
She glanced back at Alex, who just nodded at her. Encouraged, she took a seat and glanced around. “This is mine.” She whispered it and then let her wings spread out with pleasure as she realized that from here, from this station, she would be the one personally controlling the entire massive vehicle behind her. It lacked the flight stick of the shuttle or the handle controls of her aircar, and in a way she felt disappointed she wouldn’t be able to manually control the ship the same way she could the smaller vehicles. But as she looked around her and rested her hands on the cool surface of the console, she felt something else. A thrill of anticipation at the thought of being the one in control of this massive ship and everyone inside of it.
Alex climbed several steps up to the captain’s chair on its elevated dais, and took a seat directly behind her. The sight of a winged alien in front of him at the nav console with the stars stretching out above and beyond her was a strange one, but a pleasant one. He tried to think of a witty quip to finish the tour with, but failing that he settled for a much simpler one instead.
“Welcome aboard, Pilot.”
—--
“Okay, before we get started, I believe that this is a special occasion warranting a toast.” Alex sat at the head of the large table at the mess, with the other six organic members of the crew assembled further down. “To our new pilot trainee!”
“Here Here!” “To Trix!” “To our Trainee!”
Alex took a sip of his whisky, and sighed in pleasure. “God that hits the spot. Okay everyone, dig in.”
The dinner was an odd affair, mostly because every single member was wearing their visor. Trix could not speak English, and the crew couldn’t speak her native tongue. Masks which would automatically translate couldn’t be worn during a meal so the solution was to have real-time speech to text appearing on everyone’s visor. Trix, who never had worn a visor before, had a difficult time getting the display to appear just right in front of her eyes but she and Par had gotten it dialed in.
Trix glanced at the array of food in front of her. Some items looked familiar, others completely foreign, and none of it smelled quite right. She gestured to the food. “None of this is from Kiveyt. Is it safe for me to eat it?”
“I went through our entire comestible database while we were on the planet. Surprisingly there’s almost no Terran food you can’t eat.” Josh had a massive burrito nearly as long as Ma’et’s arm on the plate in front of him, and he spoke while dabbing hot sauce over it. “All of our Macronutrients are completely interchangeable. Most Micronutrients are as well. There’s a few exotic vitamins and amino acids that you need that we can’t provide, but we have supplements from the planet that’ll handle those.”
“Oh.” Trix glanced around at the table, trying to decide what to eat. The spread was, per Alex’s suggestion, extremely large and quite diverse. “I’m not sure where to start then.”
Min picked up a large platter with a circular dish on it. “Far as I’m concerned the best place to start is with Pizza. It’s one of the most widely loved foods throughout Terran space.” She dumped a slice onto the plate in front of Trix, while Ji slid a very tall glass of water over to her, alongside an odd reddish looking beverage.
“Give the fruit punch a try too. It’s much more sweet than the juice you were serving down on the planet. A lot more mild too.” He suggested, and gestured to another plate. “Also? Tacos are never a bad choice.”
Trix reached out and picked up one of the odd, semi-circular items. Ji grabbed one as well, and bit into it with gusto. Trix mimicked the motion, crunching into the hard shell. It was quite interesting, tasteless at first as she bit into the shell and the lettuce, but then the spiced meat hit her tongue. It was quite mild but not unpleasant. She chewed on it and gulped down a mouthful. “Not bad.” She took another bite.
The taco vanished quickly, and she glanced down at the slice of Pizza next. “Like this, Trix.” Min gestured to pick it up by the crust, putting her fingers in front of it to prevent it from flopping down. Trix followed Min’s example, and took a huge bite. This one was even milder, almost disappointingly so. “Not much flavor to this one. Is all your food really light like this?”
The humans glanced around at that. “Y’know, Sophie mentioned our rations were tasteless. They have a pretty strong cinnamon taste to ‘em.” Alex sat back thoughtfully as he nursed the glass of whisky in his hand. “The food we had down on the planet was all pretty strong flavors…”
Josh handed the bottle of hot sauce in his hand over to Trix. “Try a dab of this. It adds a kick to some foods.”
Trix took the bottle, and put a few drops of it on the slice of pizza in front of her. She took another bite, and her eyes lit up. The next few bites all had more hot sauce each, and the crust itself ended up practically drenched in it. “Thanks, Josh. That was delicious.”
The rest of the crew was staring at her and she shrunk back slightly at their intense scrutiny. Had she done something wrong? She hadn’t ever offended them during any meals back on the planet, so the sudden shift in attention was jarring and quite uncomfortable.
Ji whistled at the sight of the alien hungrily wofling down the slice of pizza covered in bright spicy sauce. “Here, try some of that on a taco next!” He picked up another shell and offered it to her.
Trix reached out and took the taco, this time pouring a hefty amount of sauce on it. Eating this one was much messier, and she could feel the hot sauce dribbling down the side of her mouth as she took a huge bite. Min handed her a paper towel, and she embarrassedly wiped away the errant food. “Thanks, Min. That was great too, Ji.”
“Hold up.” Alex stood up and walked over to one of the cupboards, pulling out another bottle of sauce. “I’m curious now. This is a lot hotter than the sauce you’ve been trying thus far. See if it’s to your liking. Just, start with a very small amount. A little goes a LONG way.” He walked back to the table, placing the bottle next to Trix. She studied it briefly, mostly the logo - a caricature of a human whose head appeared to be on fire.
“Um, Okay. Should I try it with the Pizza or the Taco?” She glanced between the two dishes she’d already tried. “Either one. Whichever you prefer.” was Alex’s reply.
Trix reached out and grabbed a third Taco, opening up the bottle. Immediately she could smell the fragrant sauce within, and she carefully poured a small amount into the shell. She cautiously took a bite and chewed thoughtfully.
“Too hot?” Alex suggested, but she shook her head. “No. Just…” She poured more sauce on the taco, and ate the rest in only a few bites. “Whew. Sorry, Captain Alexander. That was incredible! I’ve never tasted anything like it before.”
“Captain Alexander just sounds weird. Call me Alex or Al. Or ‘Captain’ if you really, really need to use my rank for whatever reason.” Alex sat down, and chuckled. “But that’s interesting. Very, very interesting. That sauce there?” He gestured towards the bottle. “It’s made with a chemical called ‘Capsaicin’. To humans it’s a powerful spice. Too much of it causes a painful burning sensation that lingers. We normally dilute it to make it more palatable and less painful.”
Trix glanced at the bottle. “I guess that explains the fire on the little picture here.” She grabbed another slice of the pizza, and drizzled the sauce on top.
“Three tacos and two slices of pizza?” Ma’et was impressed as she saw how much food the Avian was packing away.
“The disadvantage of those muscular bodies.” Josh waved his hand towards Trix. “They require all the calories that a Human does and more. Back on the planet I learned their species used to be a lot smaller, but after developing animal husbandry and reliable sources of higher calorie foods they bulked up pretty quick.”
Trix, for her part, slicked off the second slice of pizza with gusto. She grabbed a fourth taco, and liberally poured the spicy sauce all over, before wolfing that down as well. She grabbed the fruit juice that Ji had offered her… the ‘punch’? And downed it almost as quickly.
“I hope after all this is over, we can buy some more of that sauce. I definitely want the others back at home to try it.” She licked her lips, and sighed with contentment. “This juice too. I like how sweet it is.”
“Birds are immune to Capsaicin.” Josh murmured softly, but it was picked up by the visor and translated perfectly. “I wonder what the chances are that space-birds would be too?”
—--
“Slide the jack under that joint there.” Trix did as instructed, wheeling the small hydraulic device under the ‘spider’s’ massive leg. “Great. Just gotta line up the leg with where the servos join in…” Ji and Min lifted the leg and immediately began connecting up cables and lines. After all the connections were made, Ji braced himself against the wall and shoved - hard - against the leg, firmly connecting the mechanical rotary joint into place.
“Okay, testing.” Min walked over to the console and began punching in codes. Like the other six limbs before it, this one shook slightly then began to flex, twist, and move around. “Range of motion is nominal. Motors are all showing peak. Locking joints and anchor bolt systems are green.”
Ji wiped off some sweat from his forehead, and leaned back against the wall. “I knew it was a mistake to work on it up here. At least if we put it in the hangar we could have lowered the gravity.”
“It would have been in the way during the rescue op, and we had enough shit going on then we didn’t need to add ‘reassemble a multi-ton walking modular platform’ to the list.” Min gestured with her head, not even glancing over at her brother. “Man up. Trix hasn’t even broken a sweat.”
“I don’t sweat.” Trix mumbled, as she stared at the massive machine. “This thing is crazy. Puts my car to shame.”
“Yeah, our pride and joy. Together we’ve spent decades refining it.” Min glanced over at Trix with a broad smile. “The modular bay on top has been my focus, while Ji’s been adjusting and perfecting the leg and motion systems.”
“What’s it for?”
“Well, right now it’s kind of in between intended uses.” Ji walked over to a large shelf and gestured to the assorted objects there. “With our original plans it was going to have a bunch of swappable options. Right now, it has short and long range assault armaments and a plasma cutter for breaching sealed doors. A basic military drone capable of adapting to all kinds of situations.”
Trix stared at the array of weapons in front of her. “So this is what the human military uses to fight with?”
“Nah.” Min set down the quickboard and walked over to the huge machine. “We envisioned it as a multi-purpose response unit. Capable of dropping in from outside the atmosphere an landing anywhere, going anywhere. Dealing with any situation that could possibly arise. It’s an all-terrain support mech and its modular nature would have made it able to respond to nearly any situation. And it was rejected by the military.”
“What? Why?”
Ji held up a hand and ticked off his fingers. “One, it’s more expensive to drop one of these than a squad of soldiers. Nevermind the fact that it can do 10 people’s worth of work without putting even a single person in danger. Two, it’s too big to be fired out of normal launchers. Adding new launchers to ships would have been a significant amount of work and cost that the navy wasn’t willing to foot the bill. Three, we didn’t have any money after developing it. Meaning we couldn’t bribe anyone in the government into pressuring the military to work with us.”
“Four, they already have hover tanks and artillery and we couldn’t convince them that our system was superior to those.” Min sighed, and threw herself into a chair.
“Hovering is cheating though.” Ji glared at his sister.
“Cheating? What?” Trix just looked bewildered at this.
“Hovering isn’t all-terrain. Hovering is NO terrain.”
“Oh.” Trix took a seat in a nearby chair herself. “So did the captain buy this then?”
“Nope. See, we were finishing up Uni and started developing the Spider, but we didn’t really have the money to actually MAKE one. We had all the plans and all the research on our side but not the raw materials or the money to get those raw materials.” Ji pulled out a stick of gum and popped it in his mouth. “At first we tried going straight to the military which was a huge mistake, they just made a million excuses and told us to get lost. Then we tried approaching some weapon dev companies for funding. They basically told us they’d fund it in exchange for all the rights to production and we’d get whatever they felt was fair. Which when we pressed on a figure, wasn’t much.”
Trix glanced over at the massive mech. “But it got made, obviously.”
“Yup. When we weren’t sure what to do, a buddy of ours mentioned that Al was looking for an engineering team. We can do starship engineering.” Min grabbed the quickboard and extended one of the spider’s legs towards her, so she could kick her feet up on it. “Matter of fact, this ship’s a thing of beauty. Al is a complete doofus but he takes fantastic care of the ship. When we came on we gave him a list of everything that should change. He sat down with us, went over it point by point, and even though it ended up costing over half a million credits he gave us full authorization to make every single change we suggested.”
“So after we did a stint working as engineers we joined up as crew.” Ji had an odd smile on his face. “Since then, we’ve put the money we made from working here towards building this thing. We actually had it completed but then I had this idea of using an array of microservo actuators instead of a larger servo to give us a lot more fine control over the joints. That didn’t work, like, at all but when we used a combination of them we managed to find just the right ratio that gives us twice the amount of precision in each joint, which lets us use the-”
“ANYWAY.” Min interrupted her Brother before he could get too deep into the weeds. “We had it built, with the original armaments we envisioned, but Al suggested making a module for mining and sampling. We brought it in here in order to disassemble it to make the servo adjustments and while we were at it we were going to be replacing the actual weapons with a mining beam, core sample collector, and an array of sensors. Now though we’re going to put it in storage for a while. We got much more important things to take care of now.”
“Oh.” Trix had begun to tune Ji out when he launched into his diatribe. “But what do you mean joined up as crew? You were already crew, weren’t you?”
Min swung her foot down, and gestured to the ship. “It’s different. There’s employees… and then there’s crew. Right now you’re an employee. You’re working with us, you’re out here, but your home’s back with your Teff. Right?”
Trix nodded.
“Well, when you’re crew… this is your home. We’re all family out here. I don’t know as much about the whole Teff thing but I think it’s sort of similar. This ship’s our home, the crew is our family. Alex may be a childish idiot but he’s loyal to his crew like nothing else.” Min stood up and walked over to put her hand on her brother’s shoulder. “When we worked here and started to see how well he treats his people, we felt like we could really belong here. He asked if we’d like to join up, so we did. Best decision we ever made.”
“Yup. He treats the crew as well as he treats the ship.” Ji gestured around him. “Working for him paid well. Working as crew, we don’t get paid regularly but we get a cut out of every mission and that cut is HUGE. That’s how we could afford to actually build the spider in the first place.”
“Ah. So if he invited me along, does that mean he wants me to join the crew too?” Trix wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Joining another family was commonplace for males who left their Teff to join others, but incredibly rare for females.
“Dunno. He’s hired on specialists in the past who’ve come and gone. And he’s invited people to join up who said no and that was that.” Ji shrugged and pressed the release on the hydraulic press, letting it collapse down. “C’mon, we should get the last leg attached. Then we can pack it up and use a grav collar to move it down to the hangar. Don’t want to make you stay in that cramped storage room again tonight.”
“Yeah, I tried to stretch my wings in the morning and I banged up against one of the shelves. Really not looking forward to that again.” Trix grumbled at the memory, and stood up. “Okay, what more do we need done to get this over with?”
—--

Figured I'd post something just to quickly sum up the tournament so far now that we're out of the early stages and we have some established groundwork.
A BLOCK -
Titan (LIJ's Lucha Star) - 3-0 Titan made it all the way to 2nd place in the previous tournament and it looks like he's kicking off this year in similar fashion. His wins against BUSHI and HAYATA were to be expected, however less people, including myself, had him defeating El Desperado just like he did in the semi finals of last tournament. He is looking very strong out there.
Blake Christian (GCW Champion, Porn Haircut) - 3-0 Here's an interesting one, and a thousand times more divisive. The GCW World Champion currently has a perfect record including a win over Junior tag champ Clark Connors. His gimmick of basically being "All Heart" as a face but "All Heat" as a heel hasn't exactly won me over, but his matches have been decent. Does he have a chance of making the semis, though? Eh, probably not - Gedo always loves a good story of "outsider starts strong but isn't ready for the endurance test of an NJPW tournament and burns out". Just look at what happened to poor Jon Moxley once Toru Yano got hold of him!
El Desperado (Is Fed Up Of Everyone's Shit, Especially GoD's) - 2-1 You poll a hundred NJPW fans and probably 95 of them would tell you that Despy was making it out of the block, and with good reason. El Desperado is main eventing a fuckton this year, and is essentially the ace of the A Block. So far, with a 2-1 record, all seems fine, although that loss to Titan could come back to bite him...
Clark Connors (Considerably Sexier In A Cowboy Hat Than Hangman Page) - 2-1 Besides having the most bitching theme in all of BULLET CLUB and its subdivisions, Clark is also one half of the IWGP Junior Tag Team Champions. Although that often doesn't guarantee success (we've seen Junior tag champs crash out hard in the past), Clark has had a strong start. That loss to Blake Christian in match one probably pissed him off. Wouldn't it piss YOU off?
Kevin Knight (KUSHIDA's Best Buddy) - 2-1 Kevin went a pretty poor 3-6 in last year's tournament, which makes it nice to see he's already well on his way to surpassing that record. Kevin has scored pretty nice victories over Kosei Fujita and TJP so far. Although probably not a popular pick on anyone's card to make it out of the block, stranger things have happened.
Kosei Fujita (Zack Sabre Jr's Adopted Punk Son) - 1-2 It's been an unfortunate pair of losses after a good upset win over veteran Kanemaru in his first match, but, come on, when one of your losses are to El Desperado, you can't take it too bad. Kosei Fujita, in my opinion, has been the highlight of the tournament so far - his match against Despe is the current best of the tournament, and his new gear and entrance music are exciting new additions to this young punk. Can he make the finals? I sure hope so!
HAYATA (Is Much Better At This Emo Thing Than TJP) - 1-2 The mysterious, dark and silent stranger wandering in from NOAH has unfortunately not had the greatest of starts in this tournament, having only picked up a win against perpetual pin-eater BUSHI. As an outsider, your chances of progression are always low, but his in-ring ability has impressed so far as someone who is a total newbie to him. You go get 'em, HAYATA.
Yoshinobu Kanemaru (Evil Drunken Bastard That Broke Taichi's Heart) - 1-2 Kanemaru has basically done Kanemaru things thus far in the tournament. Play up the big heel antics, cheat like a cunt, lose if it doesn't work, win if it does. There's really no chance of him progressing and more of a chance of him just ruining the chances of YOUR favourite wrestler, so if that match has yet to come - cross your fingers and pray that Uncle Nobu doesn't get 'em.
TJP (WHERE'S YOUR HERO NOOOOOOOOW) - 0-3 Fuck, it's been a rough start to the season for ol' TJ. The man swearing up and down to be the strong captain of the United Empire has gotten off to a dire start, dropping losses to Clark Connors, who he's had MANY problems with in the past, but also Kanemaru and Kevin Knight, guys he was clearly the favourite in. His frustrations are showing in his backstage comments too. Will TJP be the guy who gets chosen to be Gedo's obligatory "loses to the brink right at the start, clean sweeps from there to squeeze through" pick of the year? He's certainly the most LIKELY to, because this next guy sure isn't...
BUSHI (Bless Him, He Keeps Trying Every Year) - 0-3 Perpetual openemid-carder, basically in LIJ to be the pin eater, joins BOSJ every year, eat shit, refresh. He's been doing this tournament since 2012 and aside from a 6-3 run in 2019 where he came sooooo close to escaping the block, it's just never seemed to happen for poor BUSHI. Could he make the miracle run from here on, go 6-3, and make the semi-finals with some luck? ... Well, I doubt it, but still.
B BLOCK -
Taiji Ishimori (Stupid Sexy Bone Pervert) - 3-0 With his past handfuls of BOSJ basically either seeing him scraped out by a point or two or even just on a technicality, Taiji Ishimori has come into the tournament with all piss and vinegar and made a strong jump out of the gate. With TWO final spots now open, surely this is the year he CAN'T be eliminated on something like a silly 6-3 finish with a tiebreaker putting him in third... right? RIGHT? GEDO? YOU FUCK?
KUSHIDA (Shining Star of Substitution) - 3-0 Replacing an injured man with a large ass, I don't think anyone saw KUSHIDA have such a powerful start to the tournament, despite the fact he is a long-time veteran, former ace of the whole division, has won more belts than he has fucking pairs of pants, and has two BOSJ trophies on his mantlepiece next to a bunch of assorted Back to the Future merch. He may be getting up there in age, but there's fight in KUSHIDA left.
SHO (I Wanted To Play Dance Dance Revolution With Him, Then He Turned Into A Bitch) - 2-1 IWGP Junior Champion SHO comes into the tournament with a current 2-1 record. SHO had a rather middling run last year and now that he's got the curse of "champion holding the belt in a tournament that's for contendership of the belt", things could be even more dicey. He is looking to murder everyone with his typical House of Torture bullshit. However, thanks to the aforementioned KUSHIDA, that plan already has a dent in it. Hopefully, we will see several more, and for the good of New Japan, the Junior division's so-called "hero" will be vanquished.
Ninja Mack (A Literal Fucking Human Highlight Reel) - 2-1 If there's one wrestler in this tournament who was made to show your non-wrestling friends to make them go "wow" to, it just might be the outsider from Pro Wrestling NOAH, Ninja Mack. With impressive wins over Francesco Akira and Robbie Eagles already, who knows how far he could go? Also, I didn't know anything about his personality before this tournament, but this over-the-top "honourable good guy" gimmick is so corny and Saturday morning cartoon-ish that it's wrapped right back around to being somewhat endearing and loveable. This guy's great.
Hiromu Takahashi (This Year Is Just Kicking Him In The Balls Repeatedly) - 1-2 With early falls to KUSHIDA and even bloody DOUKI, a win against Dragon Dia has kept Hiromu off the very brink of early elimination for now, but what an unexpected rough start from the man that many a BOSJ watcher often made go "LOLHIROMUWINS". With five junior singles titles and four BOSJ wins, it's quite clearly not over 'til it's over, but the deranged cat-lover of LIJ has some work to do.
Drilla Moloney (Don't Call Him Dan) - 1-2 The other half of the IWGP Junior tag champions, Drilla is also in the rough spot of having a negative record at the third-way point. Granted, B Block currently having FIVE people on 1-2 means there's plenty of chance left, but it's still a rough start for the champion. Most notably so far, he's tried to bribe SHO with friendship and an autograph for a "clean fight". SHO is in fucking House of Torture. Guess how that went.
Francesco Akira (Gets Vietnam Flashbacks Whenever He Sees A Cage) - 1-2 Akira has also gotten off to a shaky start, his only win being over the only wrestler in the block to have no wins of their own. Painfully, if you combine both United Empire entrants, their current record is 1-5. However, Akira was considered a solid pick to make it out of the block this year, myself backing him, and there's many more points up for grabs to pick himself out of this bad start.
Robbie Eagles (ROBBIE ROBBIE ROBBIE! OI OI OI!) - 1-2 Everyone's favourite Aussie wrestler (and no I'm not taking different opinions on that), this TMDK member has had great matches so far but failed to get the positive record to reflect that. However, one positive is that his first win so far is over Drilla, one half of the Junior tag champs. As well as still being easily in the running for a semi-final spot, could an IWGP Junior Tag Championship match be in the future for Robbie Eagles and little brother Kosei Fujita?
DOUKI (Actually Getting Some Kind Of Fucking Push This Year, Kinda?) - 1-2 He choked out Hiromu Takahashi. That's kind of all you need to have a successful BOSJ campaign, really, innit? Well, DOUKI has been looking stronger than ever this year, having had an IWGP Junior title shot previously and also having beaten Hiromu prior, but his chances of BOSJ glory still seem on the slimmer side. Expect a middling record from this JAG from J5G.
Dragon Dia (Superman by Goldfinger, In Human Form) - 0-3 Dragon Gate's Dragon Dia closes off this recap as, unfortunately, the only B Block wrestler to be on nil points. He's still impressed in his matches thus far, and his personality as well as skateboarding entrance (get fucked, Darby Allin) has endeared himself to the audiences... even though so far everyone seems happy to mock the skateboard thing, even nice guy Hiromu. Dicks.
Join me at some point between May 22nd and May 26th for the second checkpoint!

Title explanation: Mango's bloodwork came back. Mango has liver disease. They don't know what the lump is, but Jess thinks it's cancer. The vet suggested medications and a liquid diet with 1-2 bugs a week. Jess did that but Mango was so unhappy that Jess stopped the medications and all vet visits. Jess is still following the liquid diet. Jess is letting nature run its course.
Something super exciting is happening right now. Honey is getting groomed for the first time. Jess is really nervous about it. Honey is so big. She is almost 6 months old. Jess doesn’t know whether to put Honey on a leash. Chris thinks it is okay to just walk her outside. (It is a mobile groomer.)
It is an hour later, and Honey is still being groomed. Jess has no idea how long it takes to groom a dog. This is Jess’s first experience with dog grooming. This is also Honey’s first time being groomed so they have a lot of work to do. Initially Jess wanted Honey’s coat medium length but halfway through the groomer recommended to go shorter to have more of an even coat. So now they are going to go short which means a pretty drastic change. It is summer weather so Jess thinks it will be good and it will grow back if they hate it. Jess is scared to see how far they got. (Oh my gosh they totally shaved that poor dog down. No way is that a short coat. That is like totally shaved.)
Jess really likes Honey’s coat. It looks nice to her. Honey’s coat is soft. Honey looks like a different dog. (Yeah, because you shaved her down! That is not a “short coat.” that is a total shave down.) Honey hated it.
Honey looks like a different dog. Jess doesn’t recognize her. Jess isn’t sure how she feels about it. She needs to get used to it. It will take a few days for Jess to get used to Honey’s new look. Jess doesn’t know what she likes on Honey vs what she doesn’t like. Jess does like how the tail looks. The groomers did a great job with the cut. Jess will see if this is the style they end up with. It is a really big change. Honey looks so scrawny now. Honey had so much fur on her so she will be more comfortable now. Jess thinks it will take a while to get used to it.
The kids are about to be home from school. Jess can’t wait to see what they think. Jess thinks they will be shocked. Not all of the kids knew Honey was getting a haircut.
It took 3 hours to do it. Addie thinks Honey looks cute. Kaden liked it better when Honey was puffy. Kyson is glad Honey can see. That was exactly Jess’s thoughts. Jess liked it better fluffy, but she is glad Honey can see. Landen is confused on why Honey is so soft now. Kyson wants to know how long it will take to grow back. It will take 2 months. Kyson asked if Honey was good during her groom. Honey was pretty good but hated her face being cut.
Lilia thinks it’s different but cute. Addie also thinks it's different. Lilia misses the fluffiness but that it is cute. Jess also misses the fluffiness. Lilia is glad Honey is more comfortable. Jess is also glad.
It is the hottest day of the year. Addie got home and changed into her swimsuit. Mother's Day is in a couple days and the kids all came home with Mother's Day gifts. Usually, they give them to her on Friday, but this year Jess told them to wait until Mother's Day so Jess can get a Mother's Day morning. However, Addie is pretty eager and wants to give it to Jess today. In the meantime, for Mother's Day they are having a very laid-back pool party. Jess is so excited. She got a bunch of stuff for the pool. It is about to be pool season. Jess came up with the idea that with Mother's Day being all about mothers she wanted to do a barbie themed Mother's Day pool party. Jess isn’t going all out with the barbie theme. It is going to be Barbie inspired with a pink theme. Jess found a pool float on amazon. It is so cute for Mother's Day.
Projects for Chris arrived. Lilia is going to her friend’s house for a sleepover. Jess changed into the cutest bathing suit. She will change back into it when she gets home. She got the bathing suit for summer. It is pink themed for Mother's Day. Jess loves it. Jess, Addie and Lilia are going to go on a girl's trip across town. They have to stop at Target to get a gift for a birthday get together. Jess also needs to get a few things at target as well.
They stopped at Target to get a few different things not only for this weekend but also because Kyson is really upset about his knee injury, so Jess is going to surprise him with a teen care package. Kaden and Landen have games tomorrow and Kyson can’t play his last game. In addition to that they are going to get a few things for Mother's Day which is actually getting a few things for Addie for Mother's Day because of the barbie themed party. There are no pool party barbies.
Honey is going crazy with the zoomies. It is going to take a minute for Jess to get used to the haircut. Honey just looks so scrawny. Chris thinks it's because she is still 6 months old. (Well, you did get honey from a backyard breeder. So just maybe that might be the cause of the scrawniness.) Jess thinks Honey looks like a stray you find in a back alley. (Well, that’s kind of what you did. It's not like you got her from a reputable breeder. What kind of reputable breeder posts puppies for sale on the side of the road? Of course, Honey is going to look scrawny.) Jess hopes it will look better when Honey fills out a little more.
Making smores is Jess’s favorite way to end the night. (Oh my gosh Tommy looks way different. I didn’t even recognize him.)
Jess has a Mango update. Jess finally got the call from Mango’s vet’s office. Mango has been sick. It started with a lump on his head and now it has spread to the front of his head. His whole eye puffed up and got swollen for a while. His eye is looking better. They now have an idea of what is going on. Jess brought Mango to the emergency room several times. It was initially for the lump then it was because Mango was acting weird. For a while Mango was extremely uncomfortable. Mango has received lots of medications. They did blood work. They were waiting on the results to come back. The Lady was very thorough with explaining it all. Jess took a lot of notes. All of Mango’s levels checked out except 2 things which were his liver and his cholesterol. His cholesterol was a little on the low side but nothing crazy. His liver levels were completely whack. Mango has liver disease. His low cholesterol confirms that. Mango’s liver isn’t doing what it is supposed to, which means that his liver isn’t doing super well. Cancer cannot be ruled out. They wouldn’t know if it is unless they did more testing. More testing isn’t necessary. There is no solution. Mango is old and they are contributing his health issues to that. They don’t know his age. When they got Mango, he was a full-grown adult and severely malnourished. They got Mango from a reptile store which also doubled as a safe place to drop off reptiles who are no longer wanted or found. They have no idea what his early years looked like. All they know is that when they got him, he wasn’t in the best shape. That could potentially have something to do with it. When animals get old things start to not work anymore. That is what they are thinking. Their guesstimate age is at least 6. Age 7-8 is considered elderly. Mango could be 9. Once bearded dragons are fully grown there is no easy way to tell their age. Mango’s liver is not super happy. Several different things were suggested. Meds can be given which they did start doing. His diet should be changed because most bugs are higher in fat content. The vet wants Mango to be on a liquid diet with a certain brand of food and spoon fed. Mango can have 1-2 bugs twice a week. Bugs are Mango's happiness. Nothing is going to fix it. His liver is giving out. Initially they had been giving Mango meds and the meds made him really sick. He started throwing up and was extremely unhappy. The meds tasted really bad. After giving him meds for several days, spoon feeding him this new diet and watching him hate his life Jess decided to stop. Jess stopped the meds but not the diet. Jess is feeding him repashy. They spoon feed it to him. 2-3 days after Jess stopped the meds and all doctor visits things completely switched. Mango is not only active but happy. The medications are not going to change his age. At some point quality of life has to be considered over a few more years. Jess is letting Mango live his best life. The lump is potentially cancer. His liver is eventually going to stop working more and more. No amount of medication will reverse it. Jess decided to give Mango the best life possible. Mango is happy again. He is eating again; he isn’t throwing up and his beard isn’t black. Jess feels confident in the decision to take away the medications. Jess has been taking him outside more. When Jess stopped the medication Mango stopped throwing up. They don’t know what the lump is. Jess thinks it might be cancer. Jess decided to let nature take its course and give Mango the best life possible. They don’t know what this means regarding timeline. Mango could live another 2 years or another 2 weeks. Jess feels like this isn’t the end.

Yes, I would play this game on my public account, I am not a coward.
One of the main reasons I'm interested in it is because it's highly moddable. It allows for a lot of creativity and customization, which is really appealing to me. Many people use it to create visual novels or set up scenes and pictures. This is exactly what I want to do.
The community around it is incredibly active and supportive, which means there's a wealth of content of mods available. Whether you're looking for new characters, backgrounds, or specific tools to enhance your projects, you're likely to find it or get help from other users. This makes the whole experience much more enjoyable, to be honest.
My Steam profile is: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198172067087/
Thank you for even reading this, I hope you have a good day :D
Below is details of said game/tool
コイカツ！ / Koikatsu Party ABOUT THIS GAME
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Hey everyone, I’m wondering if any of you could give me some advice on what I should do with my hair based on a description of it? I’m a teenage guy with an oblong face shape and brown hair that is mostly straight, a little bit wavy but definitely not curly. I just really don’t know what style would look best on me at all, but I’ve definitely found that I prefer to have balanced cuts where the sides are NOT shorter than the top. Do any of you know of any nice hairstyles that would be good for a teenager with brown, slightly wavy hair and an oblong face shape? Any pictures of the styles would be so great too.
Thank you in advance, and if you have any questions please ask!

I feel quite flat today. I feel okay and all, I just feel empty but not sad empty but empty as in I have nothing to give today.
I’m taking a step back in some areas with work. I came to the realisation today that my doing work I shouldn’t have to/is not my responsibility means that the issue of it not being done isn’t being exposed. I’ve communicated several times to my manager that what should be happening isn’t and nothing has changed, so I figure it I step back from it then she’ll see it not being done/she’ll hear about it from others. I like that I’m a team player blah blah blah, I always support and encourage my colleagues and take on more so they can focus on their goals and things and I just need to stop. I can still do it, and I know wi will regardless because I can’t not, but I need to be selfish. My manager herself said I needed to learn to be selfish - ironic isn’t it, given how much it a selfish self absorbed cow I am outside of work. Anyway I’m letting it pile up now. I’ve communicated plenty, I’ve offered solutions, I’ve even set up a bloody chat for the team taking over if they have any questions and I can help them. If they opt to not do their work then it shouldn’t fall on me, so therefore I’m stepping back.
I feel like I don’t have any real control over myself lately. Like I tell myself to do something and I don’t do it and I can’t seem to make myself do anything. I have zero discipline. I need to learn to have much stronger discipline. I’ve also had the worst cravings again lately, I guess I’ve shown some discipline in that but I’m still not eating properly - I need to be cooking proper meals, not instant rice and veggies and stuff. I feel like utter crap when I don’t eat properly, and that doesn’t mean eating junk food stuff it also means not eating an adequate amount of protein and things. I need to get myself together. I just haven’t had the drive to do anything lately.
I’ve been using my K18 mask each wash, as it says I should, I don’t condition and then I put it into my damp hair and maybe my hair feels healthier I guess but I hate how it air-dries. It’s so blahhh. Normally when I air dry it’s fairly silky in the morning, not silky silky as it would be when I properly style it or use a mask etc but it’s nice enough. Whereas now it’s all… idk. It feels a lot thicker lately, idk why as it won’t be, but I can’t fit it all into a claw clip anymore like I could before. I wonder if it’s more to do with my layers growing out? It’s also longer. So probably those two things. It’s still going through a shedding phase, the post stress kind of shedding I get. I hate it. I hate that my inability to control my emotions means I get such physical side effects. Anyway. I’m welllll overdue for a haircut, but I feel like I want to get it all to one length and then go, because I feel like she keeps f’ing up my length. So idk. It’s so ugly at the moment though, it’s due for a colour and desperately needs some shaping done. Maybe this time I will go to a new salon and then I always have my usual one to fall back on? Idk. I won’t get a cut for at least another month I don’t think. Maybe. I need it but I want it all one length so it can be properly restyled. So idk, I guess I’ll get bigger clips. My face framies need some TLC big time though. Oh well. What’s some bad hair when I’m so ugly anyway. Plus getting my hair done means I have to stare at myself in a mirror for 2 hours, I can barely even look at myself when putting makeup/skincare on.
I did a workout today and it was so bad. I truly have nothing to give today. I ended up just doing a super basic pilates routine which tbh was more stretching than anything. It felt nice though, so I’m glad I did it. So in short I did not do a workout today, and I shouldn’t have said that.
I wonder what it will be like to not hate myself? It feels like an unreachable goal but it’s my goal nonetheless. But I wonder what it’s like? It sounds so freeing. The way Andy says he doesn’t really think negatively about himself, that he doesn’t relentlessly beat himself up over things and idk, he said more but anyway. I know that won’t always be the case and he’ll sometimes feel completely different and negatively and things, which I detest the idea of, but on the whole he’s content with himself. The idea of that feels so foreign. I don’t know where it came from, I mean I do - a lifetime of collecting insecurities, fears and all of that. But I realise I haven’t had a life where I’ve been constantly rejected or had any issue getting attention from men (who were clearly daft and blind), I have parents who in theory seem to love me (out of obligation), I don’t have a difficult life and I have plenty of opportunities thrown at me etc etc. I I guess I have been treated badly by people close to me, people I’ve forced myself to trust and be open with, and I have always been sensitive and idk. So I guess I took on those situations and words and they stuck and then proceeded to fester. But I hated myself before then too… though I hated myself less before then I suppose. But I didn’t feel worthy of anything much back then and I didn’t like myself at all. I can’t actually remember a time where I felt accepting of myself, I don’t mean a time where I liked myself, I mean just a time where I felt content enough. I remember being in primary school and wishing on dandelions that I could be anyone else as long as I wasn’t me. I remember it, I think it was in my grandmas garden and idk. Anyway. I still make wishes on dandelions even now, though a lot more privately. But so I can’t remember a time I felt okay about myself, and over the years it’s just slowly but surely become a twisted, monstrous hatred for myself, where I fantasise about ripping my skin off and hacking away at myself and tell myself horrid nasty things throughout the day, every day. It sometimes feels lightened thanks to therapy, the hatred hasn’t really lessened but my ability to recognise the negativity has increased and so I don’t lean into the negativity as easily now, but I still do on a daily basis. I just don’t even know what it would be like to accept myself. I hope I get to that point some day, I really hope it’s soon. Even if it just means I’m in a state of delusion.
I wish downstairs wouldn’t slam their goddamn door all the time, it’s like they’re incapable of closing it normally. And then they thunder around so heavy footed - like how is it that the people DOWNSTAIRS makes UPSTAIRS shake with footsteps and things. Anyway it’s fine and not really an issue, but it annoys me sometimes. Like why do they walk so heavy!!! WALK LIGHTER.
I don’t want to journal anymore. Im going to read. He’s still asleep so I’m not really sure if we’ll spend time together or not tonight. Okay anyway bye

I am 16, I feel like any haircut ive gotten doesnt fit my face shape. Im hoping to find any recommendations for styles or specific cuts I could get that might fit my face well, or what kind of styles or shape I should look for. Thanks!

Barron, Laird. “Jaws of Saturn.” The Beautiful Thing That Awaits Us All. Night Shade Books, 2013.

Summary

Carol is Franco’s girl, and when he learns a two-bit stage magician is practicing hypnotism on her, Franco goes to pay the old man a visit. But Phil Wary is no mere purveyor of parlor tricks. The line between dreams and waking, between our reality and one of monstrous dimensions, erodes, as Franco and Carol find themselves ground to bits between the “Jaws of Saturn.”

Characters

• Franco - a private security attache and enforcer. Well groomed, well read, well armed.
• Carol - Franco’s lover and resident of The Broadsword Hotel.
• Phil Wary - an elderly resident of The Broadsword and career stage magician; also a powerful practitioner of the Black Arts.

Story

In the lounge of the Broadsword Hotel, Carol tells Franco of a dream she had of her former lover Marvin Cortez. Franco tries to explain it away as mere messages from her subconscious, but he’s also jealous. In her room, they engage in vigorous sex and Franco observes that, for a moment, one of her irises is inhumanly oblong. He doesn’t know what to make of this and presses Carol on her current state of mind, especially her recent weird dreams. She admits she’s been visiting old Phil Wary in his apartment upstairs, paying him for hypnosis sessions to help kick her smoking habit. That’s all Franco needs to know. This old sheister is trying to get into Carol’s pants and he’s screwing with her head. He’ll pay Phil Wary a visit. But first, he falls asleep and dreams of lovely, voluptuous Carol standing frozen in the Broadsword lobby as a shadow of “colossal dimensions” looms over her.
Franco is a bodyguard/enforcer for millionaire Jacob Wilson and is no stranger to intimidation, violence, and murder. He ferrets out Wary’s number and rings him up. Wary dismisses Franco contemptuously over the phone (“You sound like an oaf, a knuckle dragger.”) so Franco breaks into his apartment where he confronts the old man about making moves on Carol under the guise of therapeutic mesmerism. Phil Wary is both sardonically condescending and oddly patient with Franco, giving him more than one opportunity to walk away. But Franco is consumed with (perhaps nurses) his jealousy and strikes Wary across the face with a belt, ordering him to stay away from his girlfriend. Franco’s action does not have the intended effect. Wary shakes off the blows and effortlessly subdues Franco.
Wary stows the bound Franco in a closet, on tiptoes with a belt tightened around his neck, and leaves the door ajar so he can watch as Carol enters for her hypnosis session. Something’s wrong about the closet: he can’t see its ceiling. The dimension of height goes up and up into darkness. Franco struggles to maintain consciousness and can only watch as Wary entrances Carol then guides her to his apartment wall where he pulls back a flap of old wallpaper and has her look through a hole at… Franco doesn’t know what she could possibly be seeing other than the back lot of the Broadsword. Wary releases Carol from the trance and sends her on her way. Now Wary leads Franco to the wall, telling him, “All this flesh is but a projection. We are the dream of something greater and more dreadful than you could imagine. To gaze into the abyss is to recognize the dreamer and in recognition, to wake.” He forces Franco’s eye against the hole in the wall. Franco passes out. When he comes to, he receives a call on Wary’s phone from his boss Jacob Wilson, who fires him on the spot. Wary offers tepid consolation before ejecting Franco into the hall. Franco suddenly wakes in Carol’s bed, screaming.
Franco and Carol’s nightmares intensify as the boundary between dreaming and waking life erodes. Their nightmares increasingly feature familiar locations distended into cyclopean dimensions, and threats from above - at first tendrils descending from the sky, then the hand of a giant. In desperation, Franco returns to the Broadsword, packing his pistol, but the opportunity to kill Phil Wary has passed if it truly ever existed. He has a vision of Carol in the vaulted hotel lobby and, above them, Wary - now a colossus like the titan Saturn in de Goya’s famous painting - towers above them. The giant picks up Franco and raises him to its face - but Franco “had a long, agonizing moment to recognize his own face mirrored by the primordial aspect of the giant.” Franco is devoured.
There’s a brief coda where Franco (?) wakes, a giant in an ancient or future world, and is joined by his titanic lover. Together they loom over “all the tiny houses and all the tiny works of men.”

Analysis

As I write this, I have just woken from a dream. In the dream, I am asleep and dreaming of looking at a reproduction toy catalog and, sure enough, there are three pages of the old Micronauts toy line with which I am still obsessed. I wonder if these toys will ever be reissued. Then I wake up. There’s a book at the far end of the bed. It’s out of reach and I’m still sleepy and don’t want to stretch to grab it. I wonder, as I so often have: if I focus on that book and believe that waking reality is mine to shape as I do in dreams, can I make that book really leap into my hand? I do, and it does! I double-check to be sure I’m really awake. Yes - yes, I’m awake! This is finally, really happening! I try it again, pulling a rock from the ground through telekinesis. It’s easy. I have come into my own, a demigod among men. Then I wake up, for real this time.
My subconsciousness giggles. Pwned again.
All this to say: it’s disconcerting when the line between dreaming and waking consciousness breaks down, which is what’s happening for Franco and Carol, and at a scale that defies Euclidian geometry.
In fact, Franco’s experience is like stumbling onto the Devil’s Narnia. The closet in Phil Wary’s apartment - like C.S. Lewis’ coat-filled wardrobe - opens onto an impossibly large dimension, one lighted not by a snow-strewn lamppost but a hideous red light. For both Franco and Carol, the gulf between dreams and waking reality is melting away. The dreaminess/nightmarishness doesn’t make their experiences of this other (truer?) world any less real. Again, the occultist tells Franco, “We are the dream of something greater and more dreadful than you could imagine. To gaze into the abyss is to recognize the dreamer and in recognition, to wake.”
In The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, the Pevensie children’s true identity is revealed as the sons of Adam and the daughters of Eve. Franco and Carol’s journey in “Jaws of Saturn” makes them a kind of Adam and Eve, but of a titanic cast. Their early sex scene shows Franco on the verge of an atavistic state, nearly unbridled from the abstraction that is modern human consciousness. The knowledge he seeks - what is Wary doing to Carol? - opens the door on a transformation that grounds him, bringing him closer to the true, perilous state of being alive, an atavistic state that finds its ultimate form as a titan in the post-civilization world of the coda. And herein we see a common journey for the Barronic hero: the search for Cursed Knowledge begins the Unraveling/Unveiling of Reality culminating in a Hideous Fate which leads to one’s Ultimate Form. (Note: Laird has a story titled "Don't Make Me Assume My Ultimate Form.”)
As I write this, my daughter has just called me from DC, upset by terrible dreams of a book that looks like the Bible, but it’s not the Bible, and our cat Izzy who died a few weeks ago has returned, but she keeps fading in and out of view. In her dream, my daughter is scared to get on an elevator because she’s on roller skates and the people in the building say the elevator is really slow, but the doors open, she gets in and the elevator moves so fast she’s floating. When it stops, the doors open onto a garden filled with people who want her to read a passage from the book that’s not the Bible: it’s Zanderthonis, book 2, chapter 3. And she keeps trying to wake up from the dream so she can tell someone about it but she can’t escape the building.
All this to say: Watch out, friends. The dreams, they’re catching.
Connections to other stories:

• The setting of “Jaws of Saturn” is the Broadsword Hotel, seen previously in “The Broadsword.”
• Carol’s former lover is Marvin Cortez, protagonist of “The Imago Sequence.” She mentions him to Franco, and Franco knows who he is. Franco works for Jacob Wilson, nephew of Teddy Wilson whose disappearance is mentioned in “The Imago Sequence.”
• “Hand of Glory” - Phil Wary - under his pseudonym Helios Augustus - sets Johnny Cope on the trail of Conrad Paxton.
• It’s not insignificant that “Jaws of Saturn” clearly ties together the transhumanism stories of The Imago Sequence to the Old Leech stories of Occultation by placing Franco’s and Carol’s conversation about Marvin Cortez in the Broadsword Hotel where Pershing Dennard ran afoul of the Children of Old Leech.

In part VI, the doctor examining Franco checks his eyes and says “something about coloboma.” ClevelandClinic.org notes: “The most recognizable and common colobomas affect your iris (the colored part of your eye) and cause your pupil (the dark center of your eye) to have a keyhole shape.” In other words, what was happening to Carol is now happening to Franco, and the change is the key to unlocking the underlying reality of the world.

Discussion

1. What did Franco see through the hole in the wall in Phil Wary’s apartment?
2. What’s the significance of Saturn, and specifically the de Goya painting of Saturn eating his children?
3. Did I miss connections to any other Laird Barron story?
4. Which Broadsword resident has the worse fate? Pershing Dennard (“The Broadsword”) or Franco (“Jaws of Saturn”)?
5. Which other Barronic heroes undergo the ordeal of Cursed Knowledge > Unveiling Reality > Hideous Fate > Ultimate Form?

I know I need a cut, but I'm not sure what would look good to capitalize on the curls and length

Arthur - how can u hate him, he's hilarious, with classic quotes like 'Hey there mister, you have a familiar face, reminds me of when I last lifted my Horse's tail.' His Tb hit close to home for me as someone I loved died to complications to do with TB, and I thought his redemption story was so cool. 9/10
John- Wtf is his body shape, he looks like a triangle with legs and a scarred face, but he's another GOAT, he doesn't have anything that sticks out too much but he killed Javier so i'm kinda cross with him for that. 7.5/10
Dutch- I'm so dissapointed, he shoulda killed Micah right there and then when he killed Arthur, he does know spanish, he never had a plan and he wasn't always evil, In my opinion. But he is quite hilarious, even when he's insane, and his dynamics with Hosea and arthur are awesome. 7/10
Micah- He's a dick, but if he wasn't a rat I'd like him, he's quite funny and idiotic, but not in a Bill way, depends what ending u got on how much u hate him tho. 3.5/10
Sadie- What a legend, she's the member who can relate to arthur the most and her feud with the o'driscles is so deep and cool, she can be a bit annoying in some of the greet, greet, antoganises tho. 7/10
Charles- This may be controversial, but Charles is bottom 5 gang members for me, he has no personality, and although he helped arthur he's just bland and annoying, he's always the one to nock u out if u antagonise peeps in the camp too much and in any of his missions he's just so mundane and sad, like his life ain't that deep, especially compared to Lenny's, Sadie's and Uncle's. There's this one encounter in the camp where him and Lenny are sat at a table and Lenny is talking to him, and he just totally disrespects Lenny and says he needs to shush, what an emo bugga. 5/10
Javier- Love him, his sense of fasion is great, his missions are fun, he can have a laugh, unlike Charles, at times, but keeps it real when needed. Not to mention he was the only one on Dutch's side who didn't point his gun at arthur and john in the beaver hollow showdown, cuz he loves his brothers, his ending was sad, which brought John's score down a bit. I love him and Bill together, they are like true brothers. I love Javier overall. 7.5/10
Bill- What a lad, he's lost in loyalty, and alcoholism, which makes him even more interesting, the main bad thing is he is quite hostile to Arthur in some of their conversations towards the end, but that's due to his Loyalty. I think he is gay, with Phil, whoever that is, despite Hosea saying it couldn't work. 7/10
This was just the MAIN gang members, who play major roles in either the first game or first and second, I might do another, depending on whether y'all care or not, I just needed to get my opinions out somewhere.
🥸

Hey everyone, if you're interested in becoming a mod for this sub. Contact the modteam by modmail. Looking for an active moderator who is passionate about men's hair and willing to let this community grow.
Preferable the ideal candidate should:

• Be 18 years or older
• Have some sort of moderation or similar leadership role experience
• Have an inclusive mindset; as we are not a short hair only community and were are LGBTQ friendly
• Have some understanding of men's hairstyle trends
• Have some understanding on face shapes and what styles work best for certain face shapes.