Submissive behavior in dogs

We currently have an almost 2- year-old female Corgi, and we're thinking about adding a second Corgi to our home. We've found a male Corgi who is 9 months old and the runt of his litter. We'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences with having two Corgis, especially regarding:
1) How likely is it that our current Corgi will accept a new male puppy? Are there specific behaviors we should watch for?
2) Any tips on introducing a new dog to our home to ensure a smooth transition? Our current Corgi is none aggressive towards other dogs. However, we've been pet sitting another Corgi and that one is VERY food aggressive. Is there a chance this could happen by introducing a new corgi? (Resorted to feeding in separate rooms)
3) Time and Effort: What are the additional time and effort commitments we should prepare for with a second dog?
4) Health and Nutrition: Are there special considerations for the runt of the litter that we should be aware of?
5) General Advice: Any general advice or things you wish you knew before getting a second Corgi? We appreciate any insights or stories you can share. Thanks in advance!

I was talking to a female friend of mine who made the claim that my love and respect for dogs is a massive red flag to most women. I'm interested in any input from anyone, but particularly females. I wouldn't call my love for dogs weird, or over the top. I have a border collie, and I fkn love him to the end of the earth, he's a really really good boy. But I don't understand how this is a red flag, he a good boy, but submissive isn't how I'd describe him. Respectful, loving and responsible are the words that come to mind when describing my boy.
But I am always willing to hear another's point of view.

I’ve been on wellbutrin since May 16th, and I feel like I just keep getting worse? I was taking abilify for a long time, but the side effects started to get worse so I stopped that. Then, I started to get really depressed off the abilify and my psychiatrist and i thought wellbutrin would help. I’ve been noticing a really rapid decline and a worsening in my ptsd/depression. I thought I was just getting more depressed but I think I just keep getting triggered, which is making me seem depressed. I’ve started lashing out and getting snippy all of a sudden, and I realized I could link that to triggers that I’ve already dealt with and that haven’t triggered me in years. But then I’ll be perfectly fine all of a sudden too, which makes it seem like I’d been faking or joking when I was truly upset a minute ago and now I couldn’t care less and I’m having a great time.
I’ve been dog sitting with my bf (19m) since Friday (it’s Sunday as I’m writing this), it’s our first time really sleeping over together, lead alone staying with each other. I was weird and depressed and snippy before so it’s not because of the dog sitting. But I’ve been really snippy and bitchy, I’ll be completely fine and in a split second I’m beyond exhausted and I just want to lay down. And then today I’ve been kinda bitchy and really dramatic. I realized I’m acting like I did when I was 14, (not on meds and horrifically mentally ill) I can’t communicate like an adult anymore, I just shut down completely. By the time my bf and I met, I’d eradicated most of those triggers and behaviors, so he’s never seen this version of me, and I can see it’s waring on him. He’s also dealing with 3 psychotic dogs, mostly by himself because most of the time I’m either asleep or unable to move from the bed. My point is, dog sitting sucks already and and freaking out every 3 seconds and me not being able to tell him what’s wrong isn’t helping.
I kinda just feel trapped in my head and I don’t know what to do about any of it. I’m so tired and I feel so out of control and it’s killing me, and it’s killing my bf. I know it has to be really hard to watch this happen and knowing he can’t help, and then having me biting his head off doesn’t help, but I can’t figure out how to stop it.
The one thing tho is I’m not really suicidal anymore which is nice, but I’m still horribly depressed lol. I know there’s a waiting period, and I’m waiting that, I just need to get through the next few weeks hopefully. Also it’s 2am and I took my sleep meds an hour ago so I’m sorry if anything’s fucked up lol.
This was kind of a rant and kind of a plea to anyone who has any advice to help me please :’)

Okay, so I just need to vent, and my own guilty conscience is eating me alive.
There’s 15 yrs between my little sister and I. My life was rough growing up and so was hers. In 2021 she came to live with my husband and I. We had just brought our preemie home too. Anyway, at the time I was determined to give my sweet little sister a better life and was adamant she straighten out. Even at just 9, she was the most manipulative, self human being on the face of the earth. I know, that’s horrible of me to say. She’s still a child, but goodness, it was so bad. So she came to live with us. It was okay at first, but then she started lying just to lie. She didn’t care about anyone or anything but herself. If she spilt a glass of milk, she’d lie and say the dog or our new baby did it. She’d argue that the sky isn’t blue. She’d lie a million times a day, refuse to do anything we asked, argued with literally EVERYTHING my husband and I said. Fast forward. She’s 12 now. She’s lived with us since 2021. Nothing has changed. It’s only gotten worse. My husband and I have tried every form of punishment it seems like. We’ve tried positive reinforcement, taking her things, grounding her, making her write sentences, spend more time with her, the list can go on and on. It got bad a couple months ago. She stole her phone back, we found out and there was just so many alarming things on there I sent her to have some behavioral/mental help. I was tired of the attitude, the lying, the disrespect, manipulation, the defiant behavior. She spent a month there, after she was finished I hoped she’d be better. NOPE. 2 weeks ago I said enough was enough. I was tired of everything. I hated living in my own home. I kicked her out and sent her back with her mom. she’s 12. I feel like I gave up on her, but nothing I tried to do for her was helping and it seemed as if she just didn’t care and wasn’t appreciative. My life Just in the one week she’s been gone has been amazing. The house is peaceful, my husband and I haven’t fought and I’m able to provide my three yr old with all the attention she needs.
Am I terrible for sending her back? I feel so guilty, but I couldn’t keep living that way. She was literally destroying my family.
Am I terrible? I love her like crazy, but I’ve done all I can do. I was at my wits end. She’s my world, but I’ve come to learn I’ll have to love her from a distance for a while. She can still come and spend the night and hangout but I think we all agree this needed to happen.
We also have a vacation coming up next month and we decided not to take my sister, bc we feel she’s not worthy to go and don’t want any tension on vacation. I haven’t told her she isn’t going yet.
Again, am I terrible? Does sending her back make me a horrible person?

Somewhere between 90 and 95% of openers I get are either "hi" or "hey." So literally anything else puts you sonewhere in the top 10%. Even "HEY ASSHOLE! would at least be memorable. So I wouldn't sweat it too much; the bar is set really low.
If you're really insistent, though, it's thd same sort of stuff women want in an opener, just with waaaayyyy less competition. And if you can somehow prove you're not a scammer while you're at it, even better.
The opener I start with is usually something easy to answer and invites a thoughtful response. Such as, "What is your go to karaoke song?" or "What's your favorite thing about living [insert city]"? or "What's your favorite way to spend a Sunday afternoon?"
I usually get the conversation started and then if he doesn't match my energy, I unmatch.
One of my favorite opening lines I got from a guy was “Hi there! Let me know what you think of the following:
A white picket fence house, a couple dogs, some nice cars, maybe a boat for weekend trips to the lake, and we can do that for about 5 years until you get sick of me. After that we divorce, I let you keep everything, and we’ll call it a good time!”
Made me laugh and for being an introvert who struggles immensely with conversation this helped relax me instantly.
The online dating world is vast, with a plethora of apps to choose from. However, according to a study by Statista, one outranks them all when it comes to finding love: Bumble. The app, known for letting women make the first move, has since expanded into a networking platform for building both friendships and professional connections. But if you’re still interested in using Bumble for its original intent, you might be wondering how to go about answering all those Bumble prompts, of which there are over 40 to choose from. Here, we’ve rounded up ten of the best Bumble prompts, plus example answers. So fill out that profile, pick your preferred zodiac sign to date (it’s Pisces, right?) and watch the notifications roll in—before you know it, you’ll be needing a spreadsheet to track all those dates.
How Do You Write a Good Bumble Prompt?
The best way to write a good Bumble prompt response is to be honest, specific and positive, according to experts. If you leave your profile generic (or worse, empty), you’re not giving dates enough information to work with so that they can start a conversation. So, focus on being clear about what you want (without being a negative nelly) and don’t be afraid to throw a little humor in there, too. After all, laugher is proven to help us relax, and when we feel at ease, we’re more comfortable sharing about ourselves and learning about others.
The Best Bumble Prompts and How to Answer Them

1. Perfect First Date...

This Bumble prompt is a great way to let potential matches know what you’re expecting, so be specific. “Drinks” is not going to cut it. Instead, write out a little itinerary—it doesn’t have to be incredibly detailed, but it should give someone an idea of what you enjoy. Maybe it’s a picnic in a park. Perhaps you lean towards the classic dinner and a movie, or you love art museums, comedy clubs and bookstores.
What you can say:
Catching a flick (sci-fi or rom-com) followed by dinner at my favorite Italian restaurant in Los Angeles. If the sky is clear, we’d drive up to Griffith Park and have a little La La Land moment.
Picnic in Central Park and then a ride in a rowboat—you’re doing the rowing, of course. We’d top it off with ice cream and maybe a bookstore jaunt.
We’d eat our way through Smorgasburg in Brooklyn and then sit on the pier looking at the Manhattan skyline as the sun sets.

1. I Get Way too Excited About...

Behavioral scientist and author Logan Ury advises that a successful dating profile makes it easy for someone to start a conversation with you. Use this prompt to talk about something you’re passionate about. Restaurant openings, golf, Bluey, painting, opera, rock climbing, cooking, Paris, Marvel...whatever you can’t stop talking about goes right here. Don’t worry about appealing to the masses—the right person, who might also love these things (or just love how much you love them), will come.
What you can say:
Paris in the springtime. I took a gap year there and love going every April to see the cherry blossoms, and one day I’d love to do a tour through Provence to see the lavender, too.
Rock climbing. I’m at the climbing gym at least twice a week and love going bouldering once a month with my club. If you haven’t seen Free Solo, you’re missing out.
Broadway shows. Every year, my dad and I spend a weekend in NYC marathoning every single musical we can get tickets for. I’ve seen Phantom of the Opera five times and yes, I’m crushed that it’s closing.

1. A Pro and Con of Dating Me...

Stay away from the “beige flags” here. Ury has previously explained that beige flags are clichés, and the whole goal here is to stand out. So be honest and own both your pros and cons, all while finding a way to keep it lighthearted. Debbie-downers aren’t good first impressions.
What you can say:
Pro: I’m a great baker, so you’ll always have fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies. Con: I’m definitely a planner and being spontaneous can be hard, but I’m working on embracing last-minute adventure.
Pro: I’m on the pulse of the restaurant scene and always have great recs. Con: I can’t stand the MCU. (But I’ll make an occasional concession.)
Pro: I’ll never ask you to TikTok dance with me. Con: I can be slow replying to texts—but I’m working on it!

1. A Non-Negotiable...

This Bumble prompt is important because it can be your deal breaker, however, avoid being super negative. We all have our icks, but as dating coach Lindsay O’Brien has told us, you don’t want to spiral on a list of things you don’t want, because it can imply emotional baggage. (That’s not a bad thing and a lot of us have it—it’s just not something you might want to spill in the “handshake” phase of dating.) Use this prompt to reveal qualities, values and even shared dreams/goals you’d like the person to have.
What you can say:
Great communicator.
You like and are conversational about art, books and travel.
You think living abroad for a few years sounds like an ultimate bucket-list adventure.

1. My Real-Life Superpower Is...

This one can be a lighthearted icebreaker or a lean more serious. Whether it’s a quirky talent or your favorite quality about yourself, share it. Just, as noted above, stay away from the clichés.
What you can say:
Making conversation with strangers and putting them at ease.
Cooking for a crowd.
Somehow always managing to win the Broadway lottery.

1. After Work You Can Find Me...

Here’s another Bumble prompt that can show not just your interests but how you spend your time. If you’re a budding cocktail connoisseur, maybe your future date will find you at the latest trendy opening in the city. If you love art, you might be taking advantage of museums’ free admissions nights before heading home. Tell potential matches how you want to spend your time, so you don’t waste time getting to know people who aren’t interested in those things.
What you can say:
Curled in bed with a book—I live for murder mysteries, Jane Austen and fantasy novels.
At a concert; I’m obsessed with alternative rock and country music.
Baking cookies while watching the latest season of The Bachelorette.

1. I Promise I Won’t Judge You If...

Now is not quite the time to get serious with a heavy hitter, so use this prompt to get silly and show your sense of humor, while potentially revealing your own eccentricities in the process.
You totally trip over nothing on the sidewalk, because I do that at least three times a week.
You haven’t read Pride and Prejudice, as long as you promise to watch the Kiera Knightley version with me.
You have zero sense of direction. Me too.

1. Favorite Quality in a Person...

Here’s a chance to cast a reel for the good traits you're looking for. Again, diving deep is key, so try to avoid things like “nice.” A lot of people and things are nice. Elaborate on what you want to see in a nice person.
What you can say:
The way he/she makes eye contact with the people they speak to, making them feel seen and heard.
Remembering important dates—birthdays, anniversaries—and celebrating them.
Prioritizing others’ needs first, while still having healthy boundaries.

1. I’m a Great Plus One Because...

A lot of your answers to Bumble prompts will be serious. This one is a chance to be less so. Flaunt your funnier side and tell them why taking you to a company party, wedding, family or other social event will be a good time.
What you can say:
I’ll totally stick by you if you’re the wallflower.
I can talk about literally any subject.
My dance moves can’t be beat.

1. A Review from a Friend...

We want to know what other people think, so now’s the time to reel in a friend and have them give you a review. It’s always interesting to see how we are perceived by others, and as your profile is filled with prompts that you’ve answered from your own perspective, calling in a review will give potential matches a look into who you are that highlights qualities you may have glossed over.
What you can ask your friend to talk about:
Your personality traits that they like.
A favorite memory together.
Five reasons they would date you.

1. My Favorite Quality in a Person...

Time to pull out your dream list of a person’s best qualities and...ask for them. (Gasp!) As dating coach Lindsay O’Brien has previously told PureWow, it pays to be clear up front so that the right people can find you. Just make sure to keep it positive, because listing the negatives (ex. Someone who doesn’t [insert quality here]) can suggest relationship baggage. “For example,” she says, “If you don’t want someone who is sarcastic or critical, you can say, ‘A sweet guy makes my heart melt.’”
What you can say:
A sense of humor.
Planner extraordinaire.
Thoughtfulness.

Thank you guys for all your nice comments on my previous post! Here's my followup post walking through the anthology - I apologize for the delay, but I wanted to sit with this half of the album a bit longer. This analysis will be slightly different: first I’ll go through themes present throughout the anthology, and then walk through each song individually, since it’s not as consecutive of a story as the first album. As with my first analysis, I tend to also stay away from literal details as proof that a song is about a certain subject or muse – to me, it’s easier to understand the album when you think first about what the song’s overarching meaning is, rather than getting caught up in literal details (and I think Taylor often throws these in as red herrings). Moreover, it’s important to note that it’s likely that the literal detail she’s thrown in is one that only she and the muse will understand (i.e. her referencing a lilac skirt in imgonnagetyouback is unlikely to be one we’ve ever seen her wearing in public, so it’s useless to paternity test based on that detail!).
Firstly, the word anthology means a collection of assorted literary works. As a result, I think there are more themes scattered through this album, and it’s meant to be a little harder to parse than the first one. I think this album is what TTPD would have been before it crystallized into a tighter theme – similar to the 3 AM tracks for Midnights, the majority of which were written prior to the standard edition’s tracks.
There are a few themes throughout this album. From a romantic context, to me, this album is primarily about Joe. I’ll walk through why I believe that, but this album feels less muddled to me in terms of its muses, and I think that is in part due to the fact that her self-described mania from the standard edition is not a theme on the anthology. This work also covers her own relationship to celebrity and fame, and how that affects her romantic relationships and her personal life in general. And finally, I think the final theme throughout this collection is the idea of childhood, of formative experiences, and how our author goes about processing events that happen to her.
The Black Dog
What happens when you intimately know someone, when you share every aspect of your life with someone, and then it's over? Six weeks after their breakup, she’s barely holding it together (“I move through the world with the heartbroken”). She even tried to rebound her pain away (“I took the miracle move on drug, the effects were temporary”), and wasn’t able to succeed. Meanwhile, she sees him go to a bar, and she has the sudden realization that he may be able to do what she failed to do – he might be able to move on, with someone new. Reckoning with that realization is horrifying. If he is able to pull it off, what does that mean about the love they shared? When he had told her for years that he was who he was for her, and her alone?
You said I needed a bravе man
Then proceeded to play him
Until I believed it too
And it kills me
How could they go from being so intimate that they shower together, that she’s aware of his every move, to being so distant from each other that she wonders if making her fall in love with him was a hazing? And the cruelest part of it is – she doesn’t want either one of them to be able to move on, and give validity to the fact that they weren’t right for each other, even though she knows they have to. Moreover, she’s already *tried* to move on at this point, and failed – she tried to manufacture a counterfeit version of their intimacy, but what if he’s able to perfectly replicate it? And to really drive in the knife, what if it’s with someone younger than her?
And you jump up, but she's too young to know this song
That was intertwined in the magic fabric of our dreaming
Given that a theme throughout the first album was her feeling like she’d given him so much of her youth, so much of her childbearing years, with nothing to show for it, what does it feel like to know that he can essentially reset time, by being with a younger woman, but she’ll never be able to get that time back?
imgonnagetyouback
We know that her and Joe took a break or two while they were together (see: Hits Different, The Great War, in addition to PR articles). To me, this song is about when you do take that break from your partner, and you’re trying to make a point to them that they’re not going to find anyone better than you (I can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean) – the two of you are too intimately intertwined to find a suitable replacement. You know what to wear, what to say, what to do to bring them back to you:
I, I hear thе whispers in your eyes
I'll make you wanna think twice
You'll find that you were never not mine
This song also has a lot of similarities to So Long, London, which is why I attribute it to Joe. To me, it provides a deeper story to some of the lines she touches on in So Long, London:
I didn't opt in to be your odd man out
I founded the club she's heard great things about
And to some of the lines in Hits Different:
I washed my hands of us at the club
You made a mess of me
I pictured you with other girls in love
Then threw up on the street
//
Bet I could still melt your world
Argumentative, antithetical dream girl
imgonnagetyouback is a story of one-upmanship – of trying to out-jealous your partner, of proving to them that nobody knows them better than you do. And maybe this time when they’re both playing this game, it works:
Push the reset button, we're becomin' something new
Say you got somebody, I'll say I got someone too
Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leavin' here with you
//
We broke all the pieces, but still wanna play the game (Oh)
Told my friends I hate you, but I love you just the same
Pick your poison, babe, I'm poison either way
The spacing to me is a deliberate red herring (the 1975 very famously made a song called fallingforyou), and a way to illustrate that the subject of the song wants space from her – but she’s not going to give it to him. This is another theme that calls back to Joe – in So Long, London, she describes him as constantly pulling away (Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away). Matty didn’t pull away – he was all in for two weeks, until he chose to ghost her, and leave abruptly. There was no slow death, no push and pull to her relationship with Matty – it was a meteoric rise and fall.
The Albatross
This song feels like a sister song to “peace” – she describes what it’s like to love her. It’s a little more twisted, however, as she describes her love for her partner as both a danger, and a rescue from the danger she’s imposing on him by being involved with him:
Wise men once said
"Wild winds are death to the candle"
A rose by any other name is a scandal
Cautions issued, he stood
Shooting the messengers
They tried to warn him about her
She’s described herself as wind and liquor in her relationship with Joe previously, in Mastermind:
I'm the wind in our free-flowing sails
And the liquor in our cocktails
She has empathy for the narrator, but disdain for herself. There’s also acceptance though: she knows that she tried to prevent it, and tried to warn him about the danger she posed. In the end though, he chose this life with her, and he chose the danger – there’s only so much she can protect him from.
The devil that you know
Looks now more like an angel
I'm the life you chose
And all this terrible danger
Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus
This song feels like another sister song to The Black Dog – how does she cope with the idea that her long-time partner might move on? How does she cope with the fact that if she chooses to leave, she also chooses the future in which they both move on? A future in which they don’t know each other? It also touches on her wondering if she should move on with Matty, and how feasible it would be to know someone else instead of her partner:
If you want to tear my world apart
Just say you've always wondered
This song, more than anything else, illustrates that moving on with Matty was nothing but a way to move past Joe – what she really wants, more than anything, is a response greater than indifference from Joe:
As the decade would play us for fools
And you saw my bones out with somebody new
Who seemed like he would've bullied you in school
And you just watched it happen
There’s also the realization that Joe may never love who she is now – who she was at the beginning of their relationship will always be who he prefers:
If you want to break my cold, cold heart
Just say, 'I loved you the way that you were'
She’s trying desperately to find some way to make up for the fact that she had to leave Joe, that there was nothing she could do to stay – she tried changing everything about herself, but still, the need to leave him eventually caught up with her:
I changed into goddesses, villains and fools
Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules
All to outrun my desertion of you
And you just watched it
And she wonders whether despite his indifference, and the distance between them, she should still stay:
Could it be enough to just float in your orbit
Can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses
Cooler in theory but not if you force it
To be, it just didn't happen
But now, they are merely ghosts of who they once were – it’s not possible to force the relationship anymore.
How Did It End?
When a long-term relationship ends, you can point to the factors that led to its demise: a difference of opinions on money, on marriage, on children, and so forth. It is easy to determine the “what” and the “why” of an ending. But what is harder to diagnose is how you both became the versions of yourselves that weren’t on the same page, that were unable to discuss these topics, that couldn’t move past these dilemmas. That is much, much harder to pinpoint, and this is the question Taylor asks in this song. She knows what killed them:
We hereby conduct this post-mortem
He was a hot house flower to my outdoorsman
//
We were blind to unforeseen circumstances
We learn the right steps to different dances (ohh)
And fell victim to interlopers' glances
Lost the game of chance, what are the chances?
But what she still doesn't know is how it happened – how did it end? She also finds the empathy from the media and from the public to be false and selfish – they only want to know what happened to feverishly spread the news like wildfire.
Come one, come all
It's happenin' again
The empathetic hunger descends
We'll tell no one
Except all of our friends
We must know
How did it end?
//
Soon they'll go home to their husbands
Smug 'cause they know they can trust him
Then feverishly calling their cousins (ohh)
//
Say it once again with feeling
What the feeding frenzy wants more than anything is gossip, and they don’t care that she is utterly lost – lost as to why this happened, and lost physically and mentally:
Guess who we ran into at the shops?
Walking in circles like she was lost
How does she give an answer to quell the empathetic hunger, when she herself doesn’t understand exactly how it happened?
So High School
In an album that touches so much on feeling like she’s running out of time to have the future that she wants, and running out of youth to give the various men who come into her life, it is interesting and heartwarming that the song about Travis on the anthology is one that describes being with him as regaining her youth:
The brink of a wrinkle in time
Bittersweet sixteen suddenly
Moreover, another detail to note in this song is the difference in how she describes alcohol and drugs – in nearly every other song on TTPD, alcohol is a vice she uses in her moments of despair, and drugs are what her previous partners turn to in their moments of strife (she also describes the influence of drugs on her partners as something she detests – “sinking in stoned oblivion” and “you needed me but you needed drugs more”). With Travis, she’s not imbibing in any substances – instead, his thoughts and jokes are enough for her:
I'll drink what you think, and I'm high
From smoking your jokes all damn night
Travis is giving her back her youth, making sober promises, and the impression that we get is that they’re building this dreamlike reality together – it’s wholesome, all-American, and high-school-inspired, yet still grounded in something tangible, unlike the promise of fate and destiny, which powered her relationship with Joe and her entanglement with Matty.
I Hate It Here
More than anything, I think this song illustrates how Taylor sometimes uses escapism and maladaptive daydreaming to ignore the reality of the situation she’s dealing with. She recognizes that it’s not possible to stay where she is, locked inside this prison of stagnation and boredom:
If comfort is a construct
I don't believe in good luck
Now that I know what's what
She recognizes that this isn’t what she used to be, and that she never intended to choose this life of secrecy, perhaps alluding to all those years she spent “locked inside her house”:
You see I was a debutante in another life but
Now I seem to be scared to go outside
She describes herself as finding hope in the places her mind creates (seemingly alluding to her creation of characters and places for folklore and evermore):
I hate it here so I will go to
secret gardens in my mind
People need a key to get to
The only one is mine
I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child
And her escapism into her past, and imaginings of what could have been:
I hate it here so I will go to
Lunar valleys in my mind
When they found a better planet
Only the gentle survived
I dreamed about it in the dark
The night I felt like I might die
All throughout the song, there’s recognition that she doesn’t want to be here – she doesn’t want to feel as if the only place she can be free is in these imaginary worlds she creates. But there’s also concession – is she perhaps only destined for an eternal consolation prize? For loneliness? For imagined romanticism? For the fantasy of how she imagined her life and her love to be?
I'm lonely but I'm good
I'm bitter but I swear I'm fine
I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on
purpose
This place made me feel worthless
Lucid dreams like electricity, the current flies through me,
and in my fantasies I rise above it
And way up there, I actually love it
​​thanK you aIMee
This song, along with a few others in the latter half of the anthology, discusses the loss of innocence she felt in key moments of her life. This one quite obviously alludes to Kim Kardashian, and their infamous feud. I will make a separate post on this, but I think people describing this song as petty may not remember the depth of the hate aimed at Taylor in 2016. Kim and Kanye organized a revenge porn music video for Famous, and held a museum exhibit so that people could take pictures with the naked dolls. The night the snapchat videos were released, every Kardashian family member descended upon social media to gleefully celebrate the #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty. The amount of hate Taylor got was so unprecedented that Instagram actually built their comment filtration system because of this incident. It really was that bad.
And every baby step Taylor took (for example, even just posting that she had a good 2017 was met with immediate media backlash) was quite literally mocked across the internet. People thought the reputation era was cringey, that she was over, and that she deserved everyone’s ire because she was “proven” to be a liar. She describes this in the song:
Each time that Aimee stomped across my grave
And then she wrote headlines in the local paper
Laughing at each baby step I'd take
And it was always the same searing pain
But the whole time, despite the pain and blood, she was dreaming of the day that she would heal, and dreaming of the day that she would climb her way back to to the mountaintop:
And our town, it looks so small from way up here
//
So I pushed each boulder up that hill
Your words were still just ringing in my head, ringing in my head
What still irks her though, is that this bully who created this entire hate train and organized her downfall will pretend as if it never happened – she will undoubtedly reframe things to make our subject seem overdramatic, petty, and unable to move past the incidents of years ago. Taylor, however, has always been clear about one thing: sometimes, no amount of time can heal you from something that deeply traumatized you.
I Look in People’s Windows
This song to me feels like a sister song to The Black Dog, but a few months after the official end of a relationship. A sub theme that runs through Taylor’s songs about the Joe breakup is the loss of being understood – when you are no longer with a long-term partner, how do you cope with the fact that you move the world knowing everything about this person, but at the same time, not knowing them anymore? Would you peek into their windows just to get a glimpse of what their life looks like now? As anyone who has gone through a breakup knows, the hardest part is often not being privy to the mundane details of that person’s world – their dinner parties, their wine, their friends, and so on.
I look in people's windows
Transfixed by rose golden glows
They have their friends over to drink nice wine
I look in people's windows
In case you're at their table
What if your eyes looked up and met mine
One more time
The Prophecy
The prophecy is devastating. More so than any other song Taylor has ever written, it is full of desperation and longing. All she asks for is to be known, to be understood – to not be perceived as an idea of a woman, or a starlet with no humanity:
Please
I've been on my knees
Change the prophecy
Don't want money
Just someone who wants my company
Let it once be me
Who do I have to speak to
About if they can redo
The prophecy?
It’s striking especially considering how much she laments that leaving Joe means she’s giving up being known – it’s also striking given the fact that in the epilogue poem, she states that neither Joe or Matty ever truly knew her:
He never even scratched the surface
of me.
None of them did.
What she desires beyond fame, beyond notoriety, beyond money, is to be loved and to be known. The song also alludes to her being in therapy, and to finding some sort of consolation that she will find someone to share her life with:
I'm so afraid I sealed my fate
No sign of soulmates
I'm just a paperweight
In shades of greige
Spending my last coin so someone will tell me
It'll be ok
Cassandra
This track is a sister song to ​​thanK you aIMee, and continues exploring the theme of fraught public womanhood we see in Clara Bow and Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me. In this song, Taylor discusses how the validation of women is never publicized in the way that the crucifixion of them is:
When the first stone's thrown, there's screaming
In the streets, there's a raging riot
When it's "Burn the bitch, " they're shrieking
When the truth comes out, it's quiet
Moreover, when women speak up about an issue, they’re often viewed as overdramatic, and unserious. Cassandra, in Greek mythology, was cursed by Apollo to always predict the future accurately, but never be believed. We see this happen every day to women in politics, in the media, and in pop culture:
So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst
And tried to tell the town
So, they set my life in flames, I regret to say
Do you believe me now?
And for Taylor, it’s reminiscent of all the times she’s been the first to speak out about something in the industry – for example, against Scooter Braun and his well-established pattern of bullying, or of the exploitation of artists on streaming services – but never been supported broadly by her peers. They believe her later, but at that point, very few people give her the credit for speaking up in the first place. It’s reminiscent of the Kimye scandal. When the news broke originally, the hatred she received was widespread. But when she was acquitted by the long-form video that leaked, it didn’t receive anywhere near the level of coverage that the original scandal received.
Peter
Peter is another song that touches on both the male muses for this album, and in turn, on the promises various men have given her over her life (we’ll circle back to this in The Manuscript!). It also touches on the theme of waiting that’s seen throughout this album, especially on her songs about Joe – how much time is enough time to give?
Both Matty and Joe were 25 when they met her, and it’s abundantly clear that both men made promises to her: promises of marriage, of children, and of a future. But how long can she wait for these promises to be fulfilled? To Joe, she gives six years of her life and youth, and to Matty, she gives him a chance to prove that he was reformed from the time she knew him last: both men eventually fail. Neither man is ready to give up their childish whims, and she has no choice but to lose hope that either of them ever will.
And you said you'd come and get me but you were 25
And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired
Lost to the lost boys chapter of your life
Forgive me Peter, please know that I tried
To hold onto the days when you were mine
But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light
Another thing to note is the interesting double meaning of the song title. To peter also means to diminish gradually – much like her faith in both men’s promises.
The Bolter
A lot of the songs Taylor has written about Joe in this album deal with the question of “when is the right time to leave?” When you know that things are stagnant, and you know that you’ve given everything you have to a relationship, you know that you have to leave – but it’s easy to convince yourself if you have a history of “leaving before you get left” that you should ride out this wave, and that this pain might just be temporary.
The Bolter, to me, reflects on Taylor’s history – it seems like she prided herself on being able to see the warning signs, and being able to get out in time.
She's been many places with
Men of many faces
First, they're off to the races
And she's laughing drawin' aces
But, none of it is changin'
That the chariot is waitin'
Hearts are hers for the breakin'
There's an escape in escaping
It’s relevant to TTPD, because likely, she saw not bolting as a sign of growth and maturity. You know that you’ve grown as a person when you don’t abandon ship at the first sign of trouble, but what if there are so many signs of trouble that the truly mature thing to do would be to leave?
Robin
Robin leads into this theme of childhood and innocence that we see further in The Manuscript. The track name is also the name of Aaron Dessner’s child. She ponders how beautiful and sweet it is that we work so hard to protect childhood naivete:
Strings tied to levers,
slowed down clocks tethered,
all this showmanship
To keep it, for you,
In sweetness
And there’s an element of wistfulness to it – don’t we sometimes wish that we could also be protected from the worst the world has to offer?
You have no room in your dreams for regrets
You have no idea
The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean
You'll learn to bounce back just like your trampoline
But now we'll curtail your curiosity
The Manuscript
This song is perhaps the most climactic song on the album. It covers her romantic history up until that point, and starts at the moment she feels everything went awry – and it predates Joe and Matty. Instead, it calls back to the first time she experienced a proper heartbreak, and the first time she lost her childlike innocence in the world – her relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal (a time she described as her transition from childhood to womanhood). She describes how they compared licenses, and how he told her that if they had sex, and it was as good as the conversation was, then they would get married, and have a family. He was the first man to make her these promises:
He said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was
Soon they'd be pushin' strollers
But soon it was over
He tells her that it’s ok that they have an age gap, because she’s so advanced for her age:
She thought about how he said since she was so wise beyond her years
Everything had been above board
She wasn't sure
While dating him, she desperately wants to be older, and starts emulating his behavior:
In the age of him, she wished she was thirty
And made coffee every morning in a French press
And when it’s over, she regresses, and turns back into a child – unable to sleep alone without the comfort of her mother, and unable to eat anything substantial besides the sugary cereal of her youth:
Afterwards she only ate kids' cereal
And couldn't sleep unless it was in her mother's bed
She forces herself to date boys her own age, to not rely on the maturity of an older man to guide her through adulthood, but she can’t help but feel disappointed in their youth:
Then she dated boys who were her own age
With dart boards on the backs of their doors
Finally, as she creates the All Too Well short film, she recognizes the damage he did to her, and how the consequences of that affair have shaped her life since:
And the years passed
Like scenes of a show
The Professor said to write what you know
Lookin' backwards
Might be the only way to move forward
Then the actors
Were hitting their marks
And the slow dance
Was alight with the sparks
And the tears fell
In synchronicity with the score
And at last
She knew what the agony had been for
Everything calls back to this first man, and these original promises – everything she’s been chasing since is reminiscent of this first scar. And just like how releasing All Too Well transformed and healed her, she hopes that by releasing this additional manuscript into the world, it will heal her again. As she describes in the epilogue poem, she is entering all her thoughts, emotions, and pain into evidence – she now asks the audience to process it with her, and thus conclude this process of healing.
The only thing that's left is the manuscript
One last souvenir from my trip to your shores
Now and then I reread the manuscript
But the story isn't mine anymore
If you read all of this - thank you! I enjoyed writing it, and I'm excited to discuss with you all in the replies :)

There's a dog who's been at my local shelter for almost a month (and returned once within that time). In the worst case scenario if he ends up on the euth list, I'd consider offering to foster... but I'm a little worried about how my dog would handle it.
The shelter dog is a couple years younger than my resident dog, very slightly larger, and is described as having a low energy level. He's currently sharing a kennel with other small dogs so I assume he's not dog aggressive.
My dog is generally fine with other dogs—she's not the most outgoing but she will play with others when she feels comfortable. The yellow flag is that she's exhibited some slight (but somewhat justified, based on what I've read about dog "manners") resource guarding behaviors. For example, she barks at family members' dogs who keep trying to jump on me, and has snapped at one who tried to grab a toy out of her mouth. I've learned to manage these moments a lot better to set her up for success, and she interacts with/has stayed overnight with some of those same dogs without any incident.
I wouldn't want to stress my dog out, but I also feel terrible about not being able to help the shelter dog (it doesn't help that they look somewhat alike.) I live in a one-bedroom apartment so keeping them apart, especially for a quarantine, would alter my dog's current routine. On the plus side, I work from home so I'd be able to monitor them throughout the day.
I'm wondering both for my current situation, as well as in the longer run, if fostering would be right for us (ex. if I was able to move into a bigger place a couple years down the line). Anyone else been in a similar situation who can offer advice? The shelter in question is an LA County shelter, if anyone has experience fostering through them. Thanks in advance!

This is kind of a rant kind of a question. What is this symptom and why is it happening?
Edit;sorry, by during my period, I meant in the days leading up to it, it kind of gets better towards the end of my period. Day 1 and 2 are hell. Otherwise I’m normal.
I (14ftm) seem to go absolutely batshit when my period starts. I just read over texts from my past 2 periods and I’m seriously scratching my head here. I was arguing with someone about how black I am..? (I’m biracial, which I normally don’t care about.) I reported someone for drug use, not because I cared, but because they annoyed me. And I mean mildly annoyed me. I feel like shit, and I dont understand why the hell I was acting the way I was acting. It was a complete 180 from my normal behavior.
I’m kind of scared, I don’t like how vindictive I got. I would never want to intentionally hurt someone like that. What if I do something worse? Why was I acting so dramatically. I was talking to a few people about it and they said it’s hormones(by the way I’m not on testosterone or anything). It doesn’t make sense though. Why are hormones that are normal making me act so out of character?
I also remember being told that I was throwing stuff around and being mean to my dog. I was NOT physically abusive to the dog, but I was saying how she ruined my life or something. And I have tendencies to disappear for hours at a time while I’m on my period. The littlest thing sets me off and then I’m gone. And I’m angry for a long time. I cringe just thinking about it.. Like dude it doesn’t matter.
I just don’t like hurting people, what do I do? Also- if it matters this has been going on for 8 months, and got a little since worse I started ssris, I’ve since stopped the antidepressants because I thought they were the cause. They were definitely not the cause, that was just the first time I did something so horrendous that it was pointed out to me. Is this just going to be my life?

This is on mobile so sorry for the weird format. So, we have this neighbor who has it out for me and my boyfriend. It all started when we moved in he started to yell at my boyfriend anytime he was outside about how our door dash drivers would come into his driveway by accident. He said he knows where we live (obviously), he knows where my boyfriend works (???), and that he works for the government. We tried to just avoid contact but he also got upset with me for yelling at his dog when it was jumping and barking at me through our shared chain fence (I love animals and dogs and wasn’t yelling to yell it was scaring me and wouldn’t leave the area). He accused us of standing in our backyard and shooting guns (we don’t own one just live in an area where hearing gun shots is pretty common). When our friends come over and park on the street closer to their house (when there isn’t other available parking and the neighbors use the driveway which we don’t have ourselves) he will approach them and stare at them through their car windows until they drive away. It’s weird and threatening behavior as this is a random man we don’t know. He also has gotten into verbal alterations with other neighbors. Anyways, I could go on with these examples but I did try to go over and talk things through with them and his wife explained they don’t feel safe in the area and have kids and that’s why he’s so on edge. Tonight he screamed at our doordash driver and it really put the guy on edge. I’m sick of this. Any advice??

I would like to get this off my chest because trying to search for help with "what to do when my child hurts animals on purpose" isn't getting me anywhere.
I've had moments in my life where I've done violent things for seemingly no reason. Before animals it was violence towards my brother who is 4 years younger than me and I am currently 23. One time maybe at about 8 or 9 years old I was given one of those weighted metal bell balls (I dont know what these are actually called but it's a pair that you fidget with in one hand). I ended up going to my brother and dropping it onto his head and reasonably getting in a lot of trouble for it. When we got a little older he had a loose tooth that wouldn't fall out. One day he came up to me and I noticed it. I ended punching him in the mouth and his tooth did come out but again I shouldn't have done it in the first place. At some random moments I would even just punch him for being near me. It's such shitty behavior and it's horrible how violent I've been to him for no reason. We have a pretty close relationship now as adults and often hangout to share memes but regardless I still hurt him.
Now here's the really shitty stuff. It was years later our family adopted dogs, two dachshunds. I love these sweet little hotdogs a lot and constantly think about these moments with extreme guilt and self hatred. I would pinch their ears, smack them on the head on days I was angry, or just scream at them for no reason. But I think my worst act in the long run was a form of playing where I tossed them up the air and roughly caught them. I did it occasionally when I was younger and now they've become elderly dogs that now have trouble doing things they used to. One of the dogs developed cateracts and a curved spine overtime and is now much more aggressive around people. I believe my actions are what has caused his spinal condition and aggressive behavior. I know he is suffering and I should never forgive myself for tormenting him. They are beloved members of our family and I hurt them. They did nothing to deserve any of this but the reality is that I hurt them and I am so ashamed that I think I would prefer to die.
Something more recent maybe two-ish years ago happened to some freshly caught crabs my father had bought. We were preparing to steam them soon and had moved them from a cooler to the kitchen sink. I was the kitchen to look after them in case they managed to climb out. At one point I turned on the faucet and hot water and watched them. They were going to be cooked soon but I made the choice to make them suffer and just stood there blankly.
All these events replay in my mind and telling myself I didn't know what I was doing is complete bullshit. There was a choice made that day and it was choosing disgusting inhumane violence against innocent living beings who have done nothing to deserve it.
Even now I get violent thoughts to hurt people and animals and it makes me so sick. We see this type of behavior in serial killers for fucks sake. There is definately something seriously wrong in my brain and I don't know what or why. This isn't a normal symptom of anything I have. I can feel bad for myself and say I'm sorry as much as I want but it will never undo what I did to them. I think if I ended up as a murderer in the future I wouldn't be surprised, but I hope to be put down or stopped before that happens.
I am forever sorry for all those I have hurt and hope to never forget what I've done.

I, 30F, moved into a trailer in my home town with two guys whom i thought were friends 35M, and 27M. For simplicity 27M will be Bum, and 35M will be Fool. The three of us agreed to move in and split the bills 3 ways. Shortly after moving in, Bum quit his job and refused to get another one. Instead, he sat at the house, playing video games all night and generating a mess. I had spoken to Fool many time about this and it seemed like he was on my side. After living with Bum for a while, I noticed a drastic change in my dog's, 6M large breed, behavior. He would run from Bum as if he were about to be beaten. To the point he would slip and fall on the wood laminate floor. He was also confined to my bedroom at all times as was my cat. I confronted Bum about it when I noticed a hole in my bathroom wall that hadn't been there when I left for work. He fed me some cock and bull story about how my dog must have launched my full conditioner bottle that had been sitting in my shower caddy at the wall. Throughout the entire 8 months of living with these two I have paid half of the rent and all of the utilities. I have had to take out payday loans every 2 weeks to make the basic household ends meet while my own personal bills have gone on the back burner. Eventually, Bum ended up getting a baby sitting job. Thinking that the struggle was finally over and we could finally split the bills, I did the math for the rent and posted it in our group chat. In layman's terms, he said no that his bills had to come first and that the rent was staying the way it was. This pissed me off and I finally decided enough was enough and spoke to a different friend about getting into a new place. Everything came to a head this passed Monday. In short, Bum said he hadn't slept in 34 hours, was sick, and went to "work". He was angry that I hadn't cleaned up the giant mess that he had made or did the dishes while on the phone with people who I had thought were friends. He kept comparing me to his ex and said how living with me as a roommate made him want to "unalive himself". I called my mom and asked her to come and get me after he had gone into his room. I sent Fool a message telling him that Bum could stay and that I would leave since I am the problem. He called us both soon after in a group call and demanded to know what was going on. Bum gave his side first and then interrupted as I tried to give mine. He said again that living with me made him want to unalive himself. He knows that Suic*de is a trigger of mine and he uses it often. I yelled at him not to say that and he began to scream at me. I ju g ip from the call and began speed packing essentials while calling my mom. She and a friend helped get my essentials and pets out and back to my moms place. Today, I went back over and finished packing my things, only to discover that my vr headset and controllers are missing. Last I had seen them they had been in the entertainment center that is now empty. I confronted Bum about it and he denied having them. I went through all of my stuff 5 times and couldn't find them. I told him he had 15 minutes to produce my vr setup ir I'd call the cops. He began to yell at me again. My mother stepped in and told me to just call, so I did and made a report. He tried to kick my mother out of "his" house but she refused stating that it wasn't his house but mine. He went and hid in his room after that. About an hour after the ordeal, I recieved messages from Fool. He stated that since I willingly broke the lease that I had until june 9th to pack up my things and get out, otherwise theyd throw everything out and take me to court for damages to the room. I told him that my things were already out and that I was going back tomorrow to clean the room and repair the damages. He stated that I couldn't go into the house without one of them there. I know for a fact that they haven't spoken with the office yet about taking me off the lease so I know I still have a right to go inside and that by law that they have to give me 30 days since I recieve mail at the address. I intend on going anyway and cleaning the room and removing the last of my things and the trash and giving the key back to the manager in the office. I have stopped respoding to Fool's messages and I have blocked Bum on all platforms. I simply cannot take the mental, financial, and amimal abuse any longer. Please tell me, AITAH here?

Me and my 8 month old GSP Doug were out on our nightly “last call” and things were going according to plan. For context, we use a slip lead on all walks as for now, it’s what he won’t pull on. Anyways, we cross the street to start walking around the paved/gravel trail when Doug stops to point at 2 rabbits. Fine, he’s a pointer. I told him it was rude to point and that his mom should’ve told him better, and we continued our walk, albeit distracted. Then I see this poor little girl, probably middle school aged, getting dragged by a collie/setter. The dog was significantly smaller than my puppy, but regardless he dragged the poor girl all the way over to us. Normally, Doug is “reactive” in the sense that he will play bow to any dog and then try and start a chase. He is getting better, but especially if we are approached, he thinks it’s playtime. This time, I saw it coming, knew it was inevitable, and brought him to a heel against my leg, me being between him and the dog. He stood there unbothered and let the dog smell him. Thank god it was not an aggressive situation, and it was more likely that the other dog had the same issue, just left unchecked to a 12 year old (at night!!!). I’m a 24 year old bearded dude so I didn’t stop and talk much, just told her it was okay and asked how old the dog was. After that, we went our separate ways and continued as normal. I was very proud of Doug for being calm, unbothered, and not snapping or spinning towards the dog. His tail was still in pointing mode, but it never went to a submissive position and he stood strong, which is new since he’s not the most confident guy. This situation also made me think about carrying a second slip lead with me for occasions like this. Obviously they’re not for everyone, but if I can stop for 10 seconds to help a small child not get dragged through a park at dusk, I think it may be a good idea. I work at a pet supply store and could get them cheap and replace easily if need be. If there’s anything I could’ve done better, I’d like to hear suggestions or recommendations for next time.

Hi everyone! I need some advice on my 17-week-old German Shepherd/Malinois puppy. He’s generally a well-behaved pup and listens to commands like heel, sit, down, stay, and the basics very well. However, I’ve noticed a concerning behavior recently. After his last meal in the evening, I take him to the backyard to go potty and walk around with him. Lately, during this time, he starts acting out—barking, picking his nose at me, and trying to bite me, even though I'm not doing anything to provoke him and he won’t stop until basically go inside. There haven’t been any changes in his routine. He gets fed well, has plenty of playtime and training, and takes two-hour naps through the day. He's currently attending a 'puppy preschool' where he’s learning basic obedience. Despite all this, these sudden attacks have become a regular occurrence during our evening routine. I'm at a loss for what might be causing this behavior and how to address it. Has anyone else experienced something similar with their puppies? Any tips or advice on how to handle this situation would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance! And yes, I know they are high working active breeds. That is the reason I got one. Overall, he’s a very well behaved puppy that’s currently teething , good with other dogs/animals and people

I asked for help, but it was ignored…
I’ve been having issues w S/I for years, it became a daily thing. It got heavier since December, and the past two years before that I guess. Got a degree during the pandemic so my internships were cancelled up until graduation. So I never got a job in my field. I switched to healthcare and worked at a mental hospital as a patient care assistant. I really loved it, I liked helping my patients and seeing people turn around from a hard time. Maybe it was me projecting, but I always told myself it got better for these people or they had it worse than me, so I’d be fine.
Our hospital got bought out by a bigger healthcare chain and things went downhill. Way more directs from prisoners, very very behavioral acute patients. Had patients bring in dogs to attack us. Stalking became an issue for some employees. Most people I’ve worked with have been kicked, punched, or bit. I myself have been threatened and told I should kms or die on my drive home because smoke break was delayed 10 minutes due to someone having a seizure, for example. Code violets (violent patient) have happened every night I’ve worked for the past four months. Every. Night. The nurses who protected other staff members would be terminated for “improper holds”- like when a guy shattered a window and tried to cut a nurses throat. Our hospital didn’t care. Doesn’t care.
I developed ptsd. When I hear a speaker bell go off in the grocery store I jump and my heart rate goes up, because I’m prepared to have to protect myself or someone else. While almost every patient I’ve ever had has told me I’ve helped them and they appreciate me, my mental health got worse. I got scared to go into work. I started calling off sick because the stress lowered my immune system, and I was recently sick for two weeks back to back. In response to myself and others,my hospital then enstilled a rule where if you call off twice in a row, you’re terminated. And doctors notes don’t count according to hospital policy.
Today I just hit my breaking point. I’ve had many panic attacks before work, having to be prescribed pretty intense anxiety pills. But, I’m just a tech, not certified. Me being given a job in healthcare was lucky and a dream that I now knew I wanted to pursue. Not in mental health, but it was still a foot in the door. I start nursing school in July if I make it that long. But, I got physically sick at the thought of having to go back in. Last shift I DID work (before leaving early) my coworker and I were chased by a pt, and when brought up to management, we were just told our patients are very sick and not to be intimidated
I quit. no two weeks. Today I just quit….and took Tylenol. More than I should have. Every day in report I heard of all the dramatic and obscure ways people attempted and failed to get them pink slipped to us- but Tylenol is a killer and I know that. Out of panic and sadness and desperation, I threw it up. I called my husband. I keep apologizing. I quit without another job lined up. In this job market and economy, that’s a death sentence. I have four interviews for next week, but my safety net is gone. I see the house I made with him, and I only see how we are going to lose it because of me, because I couldn’t just fucking calm down and stick it out longer until I had something solid. I look at my dogs and I think about how I let them down. How my mom would scold me for quitting and jeopardizing our family. How we NOW have to pay someone 8k by the end of next week, and may trade in a car to afford it if family won’t help.
Worst of all, I had no one to turn to. I don’t want my other friends or family to know. I don’t want to cry wolf to any of them, the next time i worry them I better be dead. Because after a funeral they’ll mourn and I won’t be a burden to them anymore. A whiny bitch.
Sorry. Anyways, I told my husband. He was happy I quit and of course, told me we will figure it out and will be okay. But he’s always so optimistic, and sometimes it gets him shot in the foot. I don’t think it will be. So he said once I get through my interviews next week, I can go to a psych hospital (which is so unappealing and triggering with what I’ve gone through). I said I didn’t want to wait that long, I don’t want to live that long. He didn’t take me seriously, and I don’t blame him. Im the kind of mentally ill person that’s very self aware and resilient, and always happy. Seemingly happy and smiley because that’s just how I am. Idk.
I have failed himself and me. I took more. I haven’t told him, and I am expected to cook for his parents tomorrow evening to ask for help with the money we owe. I know he doesn’t want to deal with my supposed emotional threats that usually pass and then im all smiles again. He needs my help.
I may just let this take me. But my coworkers are texting concerned about how out of character my leaving was, especially without saying anything. It’s making me faulter. I know this could end me if I let it. Im tempted to take even more to seal the deal, no one would know. I did ask for help…
I just need someone to hear me.

Hello, I am currently on a waitlist for ASD.
However growing up I had a different story. When I was a young child I went through abuse of many kinds and did see traumatic things I was diagnosed with ADD in grade 2 which turned into ADHD,RAD of infancy/early childhood , anxiety behavioral exceptionality and an unspecified learning disorder. There was NO assessment done to rule out autism . I think the person who did this focused primarily on attachment and many behaviors were overlooked and non of my sensory issues were ever mentioned.
I was then undiagnosed from having a learning disorder and just a defect of processing a year later.
There were many behavioral concerns for me I was looking through my reports and this is something that was said….
a standardized measure completed by a child's teacher that provides a comprehensive overview of their student's competencies, behavioral problems, and emotional concerns. The information that Mr. _____ provided indicated that child was experiencing significant internalizing and externalizing difficulties. Symptoms relating to depression, social problems and thought problems were rated in the clinical range. Symptoms relating to anxiety, attention problems, and rule breaking behaviour were rated in the borderline clinical range. Mr. ______ reported that child often failed to finish things she started, had difficulty paying attention and often appeared to daydream or be in a fog. Mr. _____ reported that child struggled to follow directions and appeared to have difficulty learning. She produced little school work and what she did produce was often messy. She often failed to carry out assigned tasks. She was described as an underachieving student who was not working up to her full potential. She appeared withdrawn and did not get involved with others. She was described as unhappy, sad and depressed. Mr. ______ reported that child appeared to be poorly coordinated or clumsy. She often hung around peers who were either younger or older then her and she often acted too young for her age. It had been noted that she would rather be alone then with others. It was noted that she was not liked by other students. Mr.______ reported that Child was impulsive and acted without thinking. Conners' Teacher Rating Scale is a measure completed by a teacher that assesses children's difficulties with inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. The information that Mr. _______ provided, rated child in the clinical range for the following subscales; Cognitive Problems/Inattention, Anxiety, Social Problems, ADHD, Restless/Impulsive and Inattention. On this measure, Mr. ______ reported most of the same information as the Teacher's Report Form although he also reported that child appeared to forget things she had already learned. He stated that she would often avoid or had difficulty engaging in tasks that required sustained mental effort. She appeared to lack interest in schoolwork. Mr. ______ reported that child appeared to be unaccepted by others and was often the last one picked for teams or games.
It was also noted
Child reported that she needed some extra help at school academically. She felt that she was struggling with some of her subjects and with the fact that she was a very messy handwriter. When asked about her three wishes, child said that she would like another dog, would like adoptive parent leg to get better and woud like to have more friends or be able to see her friend ____ more often. Child talked about not having a lot of friends at school and how she was often bullied. She talked about the recent bullying activity and how the boys had thrown a chair at her and poured melon juice in her hair in front of the whole class. Child talked about how she has stolen money in the past to give to the people who were bullying her in hopes that they would stop.
Parent's View of Child/Family Needs: Adoptive parents reported that they were concerned for child’s future. They wanted her to be successful academically and socially at school. They expressed concern around interactions. They felt she did not have the ability to make or keep friends. She was often a victim of bullying at school. Adoptive parents felt that child struggled with boundary issues. They were concerned about her lying and stealing. Due to a family history of mental health concerns, adoptive parents felt that child should be assessed for possible mental health difficulties as well. School's View of Child/Family Needs: School personal were concerned with child’s ability to be successful academically and socially at school. They reported that she would rarely complete work and the work that she did complete was not at grade level. Child had been placed on an IEP, (Individual Educational Plan) although she was not IPRC'd(Identification, Placement and Review Process) at the time of this assessment. School personal were concerned with the level of difficulty that child had relating to her peers. She was often bullied at school. Behaviours such as lying and stealing also affected her peer relationships. School personal had made a referral to their psychologist. At the time of this assessment, child remained on the wait list.
The pyscholigest noted I had no attachment to my mom however I had been with my adoptive parents for 4 years at this point it’s also noted I had severe separation anxiety and had a fear of being alone and was very attached to my aunt(adoptive mom. I worry I was dismissed to avoid cost and time as well as for the fact I am a girl who had trauma and was adopted and the lack of information about my developmental milestones and also that in 2007 ADHD and Autism Were not able to be comorbed.
I now have been rediagnosed diagnosed with a learning disability, ADHD combination and developmental trauma as well as persistent depression.
Has any one else had an experience like this with possible misdiagnosis of RAD?
When I brought up my concerns to a psychiatrist 2 years ago they handed me a quiz and told me to self diagnose because there’s no point diagnosing an adult and that adults do not need accommodations so it wouldn’t benefit me anyway (even tho that isn’t true at all) I felt incredibly dismissed by that person.
I just recently went to my dr with my need to be assessed properly and she put in a referral and I’m really scared that I’m going to be turned down because of my previous diagnosis of RAD.
TLDR: who’s been misdiagnosed with reactive attachment disorderad or has both ASD and RAD? I would love to hear about your experience and what that was like if you had this experience.

So I've had my lab mix, Boo, for about a month now. In that time I've learned she's a frustrated greeter. She excitedly pulls and whines/barks at every person or dog we see on walks. For the last month I've kept her walks strictly to potty breaks and sniff breaks. I haven't let her meet another dog yet and just redirected her away each time we see one because she's too excited and I haven't wanted to reinforce that behavior by rewarding her with a greeting. That said, in a week I'll be visiting my grandmother who's staying with a friend who owns a dog(Sweet little italian greyhound named Lola) I can't bring my dog to her house because of her size being an issue with the rental agreement, but she proposed meeting at a park nearby so the dogs can get to know each other while I visit with my grandmother. We wont have the option for a dog sitter, and pooch can't stay home alone yet because she freaks out. My grandmother doesn't visit often and I might not have many more chances to see her, so I want to find a way to make this all work out.
Is there anything I should consider when introducing the dogs? There's a dog park, but I have only taken Boo to empty parks and I'm kind of anxious about her meeting dogs I don't know, or owners that I don't really trust or know at all. Should I make my dog sit and wait while we let Lola approach her? Will introducing them while they're on leashes be a bad idea? Please any tips and advice greatly appreciated! I want my dog to have friends, I just don't want to go about it wrong.

hello!
background: in march of 2022, my mom found my cat near her workplace motherless and hiding from the stray dogs. she was three months old, very sick, and extremely underweight.
after we took her under our wing, she gained weight so she’s just below average weight (we tried buying her food from germany, switzerland, austria, serbia, italy, and albania and she doesn’t care either way, nor does she prefer one brand or the other. she doesn’t care if the food is expensive or cheap. every food is mediocre to her. she also refuses to eat non-catfood stuff like raw liver), and came to be a very healthy girl. her vets never talked about any heath issues despite our constant “ARE YOU SURE?”s
she has fallen off the balcony three times throughout her life, but thankfully the floor below us had a large terrace so she would just fall onto that until my mom used a contraption of tied-together blankets with cat food. we took her to the vet after every time and the vets said that she was perfectly fine. she eventually learned to not lean too far
she has also stayed in another country for three months with us during the summer of 2022. she’s been on two airplanes (round trip) while in her bag, panting rarely but otherwise standard behavior. she even groomed herself multiple times on the planes. she didnt meow or purr.
she was also sterilized in June of 2022
problem: two days ago we officially moved into a house for the first time in my life. after she came to the house in her bag, panting and tensely meowing for about three hours, she began exploring the house, so much so that she learned to climb the stairs within five hours of seeing the house for the first time. she even followed us upstairs to our bedrooms to cuddle with us as we sleep.
this morning, we were having breakfast in the yard, and we decided to leave the backdoor open. the cat immediately booked it to the bushes that connect our house to our neighbors’ houses. my mom thankfully managed to get her back inside our house. today alone, she has tried to go to the neighbors’ houses (either by running, walking, or climbing somewhere and attempting to jump off) around four times.
weird stuff: 1. as mentioned before, she is sterilized, so she cant possibly be looking for a mate 2. not weird but as a plain fact, we got an airtag and an airtag collar just for her. so if God forbid anything happens to her, she will not be totally lost. her collar also has a bell on it so we are aware of her location within the house itself. she doesnt protest against her collar, nor does she act weird when it is on. we put the collar with the airtag on about a week ago to make sure she got used to it before moving. 3. WE. LOVE. HER. so incredibly much. and i bet she loves us too. she consistently does the slow blink cat love thing, she comes up to me asking to be pet by meowing at me and rubbing against my legs (to which i of course pet her), and she also loves everyone else in my family. we play with her, pet her, feed her, give her water, and clean her litter. we dont push ourselves on her and we give her affection when she wants it. we also have pretty good communication. she knows “come” means come, she’s aware of her name, among other things.
how can i get my cat to explore WITHOUT attempting to leave the garden WITHIN THE FIRST DAY?? how do i prevent my hyper cat from potentially getting lost? i am aware that at some point she should be wandering around the neighborhood and coming back home, but she’s only been here for a little over 36 hours. am i just paranoid? am i missing something?
tldr: my cat keeps exploring the new house too passionately too soon, despite having no apparent reason to. how can i get her to chill out?

Warning this is going to be a long one.
So this just concluded so my heart is still racing a bit. No shame or judgment here but the events of the last couple hours showed me a possible future if I didnt make the change to stop drinking and continue to do so.
I went outside behind our building to smoke (I know bad) and saw some blunt wraps and two bottle of the cheapest vodka. One empty and one 3/4 full. Getting annoyed with the trash thinking it’s from a group of rowdy teens that hang out there sometimes. After collecting the trash I turn around and see the neighborhood drunk old man down in the retaining dry pond. He’s known to hide bottles around the property because his wife doesn’t allow him to drink in the house. He’s seems to be chilling on his phone. So while strange not initially something to worry about. I asked a few other neighbors, they waved it off as the weird drunk guy.
After feeding the dog I was feeling weird about not checking on him. He has shown some aggression in the past so I was anxious. Went to offer him water and he refused. At that point I could tell he was delirious, intoxicated, and clearly in pain. He starts yelling at me not to call 9/11 so I asked if he lived with anyone and luckily he did. His wife answered and I could tell by her face she was neither shocked nor assumed. She then ranted to me about all the pain his alcoholism has caused his family.
I eventually make it back outside. At that point against his wishes I called 911. Between the call and emts showing up, the wife came out and my god the venom and pain coming out of her mouth was wild. This is getting too long but the end result was it took 8 firefighters and emts to get him out. A cop was needed to calm the wife down from screaming at him and the emts to leave him in the ditch to die. He was down there for over two hours before I found him. Severely dehydrated and at least a broken hip.
The entire time I was just seeing this as a possible future for me. Injured and helpless in a tick and shit filled ditch, a wife whose first concern was getting my keys to the car when I am going to the hospital, and behavior so bad that my neighbors brush off a medical emergency as just being a weird drunk guy.
As horrible of a situation it is, it definitely served as a humbling reminder of what I’m working against.
Thanks for reading. Keep up the good work.