Popsicle stick houses plans
Visiting Terminal JNMIL in another state, help please with strong boundary ideas or insight
2024.05.19 01:19 throwawayfreshdonuts Visiting Terminal JNMIL in another state, help please with strong boundary ideas or insight
Feel free to see post history for relevant deets.
This may be one of the last summers DH will be able to travel to see JNMIL, who is currently being treated in another state while staying with BIL 2 and SIL 2, both flying monkeys. For 4 years, we've been NC and DH has been VLC. She's lived 45 minutes away in our state up until she needed treatment recently. After I asked to be treated with more humanity, or make the unfortunate choice to see her less, she ghosted me for several years, except to dump presents at our house, send weid mail w/o a return address, send angry FMs, or more recently, to ask me to lunch with her alone - which frankly is a no-go as the worst of her cruelty happened when no one was there to witness.
DH is feeling understandably conflicted, but does not regret not having tried hard enough to fix the separation. He asked if I would fly with DD to his home state to allow him to spend time with JNMIL and for him, I said yes. To me this means exchanging hellos and spending a brief time. Home state is near NYC and other vacation friendly spots, and my thought is that we can visit with plans to see that part of the country for DD's sake and also my sanity.
That being said, all of JNMILs flying monkeys live in town and will likely be there when we visit. We've decided to get an airbnb and not stay at BIL 2/SIL 2's house, so we will have some degree of autonomy. BILs and SILs were FM to varying degrees in the past 4 years and did not want to hear my side of the story. I am not looking forward to this visit.
JNMIL is very manipulative and her MO was telling people I did villain-esque things to her before they visited, to the degree that I would be pulled aside and spoken to. It was very confusing for me until I realized what she was doing.
Has anyone been in this situation and can you offer any advice?
submitted by throwawayfreshdonuts to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]
This may be one of the last summers DH will be able to travel to see JNMIL, who is currently being treated in another state while staying with BIL 2 and SIL 2, both flying monkeys. For 4 years, we've been NC and DH has been VLC. She's lived 45 minutes away in our state up until she needed treatment recently. After I asked to be treated with more humanity, or make the unfortunate choice to see her less, she ghosted me for several years, except to dump presents at our house, send weid mail w/o a return address, send angry FMs, or more recently, to ask me to lunch with her alone - which frankly is a no-go as the worst of her cruelty happened when no one was there to witness.
DH is feeling understandably conflicted, but does not regret not having tried hard enough to fix the separation. He asked if I would fly with DD to his home state to allow him to spend time with JNMIL and for him, I said yes. To me this means exchanging hellos and spending a brief time. Home state is near NYC and other vacation friendly spots, and my thought is that we can visit with plans to see that part of the country for DD's sake and also my sanity.
That being said, all of JNMILs flying monkeys live in town and will likely be there when we visit. We've decided to get an airbnb and not stay at BIL 2/SIL 2's house, so we will have some degree of autonomy. BILs and SILs were FM to varying degrees in the past 4 years and did not want to hear my side of the story. I am not looking forward to this visit.
JNMIL is very manipulative and her MO was telling people I did villain-esque things to her before they visited, to the degree that I would be pulled aside and spoken to. It was very confusing for me until I realized what she was doing.
Has anyone been in this situation and can you offer any advice?
2024.05.19 01:16 Extension_Being_3061 I’m punishing myself and I can’t stop
Hi everyone, I’m new here. Some background story Growing up, I was essentially deemed the “poor” one of all my friends. Everyone lived in big houses whereas I lived in a 2-bed apartment where I shared a room with my sister. Everytime I wanted something it was always a case of affordability. I had pocket money, a tiny amount but would debate between buying a cookie at college like my friends or having transport money to go home. Sometimes I’d have the cookie, in such cases i would beg my friends for some money so I could go home. Venturing into uni, I met a girl who was….extremely (putting it lightly)rich. I stepped into her world since we became close friends. Designer everything, private jets, luxury restaurants, she had it all and I was blessed to have a view. It made me dream. I studied hard, I chose my career based on what I could earn, I worked up the ladder and now I’m almost 30 and I have more money than many of my peers and for certain more than my parents when I was growing up. I should be happy right? however I feel like I’m drowning. Whatever THING I want, like, I obsess, I research throughout the night, I get it. In the past that meant even through afterpay, credit cards or my savings (so I have 0 Emergancy fund). I was hugely in debt and now I’ve managed to pay it all off and close them but I feel like I’m slipping although my plan is to save my Emergancy fund. I have the urge to buy again, to open credit…it’s like I’m at war within myself. I’m so tried, I’m going crazy, I feel exhausted mentally from all the shopping, browsing, wanting, buying, I’m sick of it and yet I can’t stop. It’s like a punishment. Where am I even wearing the clothes to? Where am I even going? I WFH always. I shop for this luxury lifestyle I don’t even A. Have time for and B. Have the funds for. Please help me, how can I stop? I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know what void I need to fill and how to even do it. I just can’t stop
submitted by Extension_Being_3061 to shoppingaddiction [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 01:15 Gazooonga Diary of a Press-Ganged Saurian (#1/?)
Just another fun little story idea I had. I am still working on Humans are the violent ones but I like to bounce around and experiment with ideas to see what I really like. I also suck at writing more casual stories, as they give me severe writer's block as I try to map out how to make a scene feel genuine in my head, but I promise I'll update that soon. If you like this story and want to see more, then like and comment. I'll gladly continue this series as well.
Start of Personal Log
Humans don't like being told what to do. They don't like being commanded, put in their place, or snubbed. It was an inexorable, inalienable trait of humans, at least any noteable humans, to go against any authority that they believed was against their interests.
Humanity would not fit amongst the stars. Few ever did. It was a trait of most successful species to be willful, ambitious, and to desire more. But once they reached the stars the new (and simultaneously very old) pecking order either quashed any spirit such species had or simply eradicated them. Countless tomb worlds and diaspora served as painful reminders of what became of the nails that chose to stick out. The hammer of order would always strike. There could be no compromise, the very soul of the authority that held the Jurisdiction together relied on a show of unmatched power, or at least the illusion of item.
In reality, the Jurisdiction was an old, fat, and lazy beast. It filled its belly on the corpses of empires far and wide, and sated its bloodlust on the shattered dreams of hopeful cubs. It had every right to, for none could challenge it: there were no new frontiers to explore, nor were there any other enemies to conquer. The Milky Way, as humans had so strangely dubbed our cradle galaxy, as well as Andromeda, had long since been warred over and settled for millennia before humanity had arrived, bright-eyed and with familiar yet otherwise foolish dreams of cooperation and prosperity. The Jurisdiction did not cooperate, nor did it ensure prosperity. Oh, it claimed it did, but in reality it simply took. The rest was just the peace that came with not being the direct target of the biggest fish in the pond. The humans didn't like that, but they had no choice.
Slavery was a common tribute. The Jurisdiction had no use for other resources: it simply took. No, it wanted those who could facilitate that unequal exchange, those raised in a world where the only morality was the one set by your lord. The Jurisdiction was held together by expectations, obligations, and dury more than any kind of shared dream, so when you were ordered to take you did so without question. Humanity was new: they had no niche or value that set them apart, but they had a penchant for killing and taking, so the Jurisdiction gave them a taste of how the galaxy worked. They killed and they took. The humans didn't like that, but what choice did they have?
Humans were strange. They learned, but not in the way most species learned. Most species learned to adapt in a passive way, to adhere to the world around them. They flowed like water, moving past and around obstacles and confirming to the boxes they were assigned too. Humans didn't confirm, nor did they adapt: they made their circumstances fit their desires. They would not move around obstacles, but rather smash through them, and they refused to stay in one box for too long. The Jurisdiction merely saw them as a particularly loud nuisance, but those who faced their wrath knew better.
It is said that when a beast seeks to make an example, it shall humble its rival by killing it's cubs. Children were one of those universal constants that brought entire communities together: the Sok’klar saw their hatchlings as gifts, shaped by the fruitful currents of the universe in perfect harmony. The Yarrack saw each and every newborn whelp as an uncut gemstone, ready to be shaped into something magical. Humanity oftentimes referred to their offspring as angels, or spirits of unbridled good sent by the gods themselves. Children were seen by most of the galaxy as gifts.
The Jurisdiction saw them as a lever to inflict suffering. It had become quite effective at enacting psychological punishments on those that stood up and spoke out. You dare to disobey? You believe you can speak out? Your gifts shall be taken from you, and you shall be without joy.
Humans didn't like this, but the Jurisdiction would have their pound of flesh, and humankind would kneel. And they did. But humans were patient creatures: most species who retained that trait of willful spit also lacked patience.
I had long since become desensitized to the Jurisdiction’s actions: it was simply how the universe worked now, as if it were a constant akin to gravity. Cruelty was the unspoken rule of this seemingly unending age, where our lives never appeared to move forward or backwards, only lay dormant. The Jurisdiction had been the unyielding authority that ruled the galaxy for thousands of years, venerable yet feared all the same.
And for the longest time I was just another cog in its wheel. My name is Kalnuracht Sedjuur-Noumar VII, and was the scion of the noble house Sedjuur-Noumar. I was born into what most would describe as veiled apathy, living a life that could be attributed to the privileged class of feared scribes that enacted the will of those above. I was an administrator and nothing more. And now I am doomed to be far less than that in the eyes of my former constituents within the endless administration. I am the only scion, as is tradition, and without an heir I am the last of my house, our name to be scrubbed from the records, worthless, meaningless, and forgotten.
I am merely Kalnuracht, nothing else and nothing more. I have seen from their eyes, the eyes of the downtrodden, and it makes my crimes of association with the Jurisdiction feel all the more damning on my worthless soul. I am worthless to the world, and this is my story.
End Personal Log #1
Start of Neural Lace Narrative Log #1
They came from the black like carrion birds in the night, encircling our convoy as if it were a dying animal ready to be picked clean without remorse. There was no warning, no list of demands sent out as civilized peoples did, nor was there either any requirement for unconditional surrender nor chance to parlay, as was done so under letter of marque: this was an unmistakable call for violence and nothing else. They sought to reduce us to slag and scavenge the rest.
So, as one would expect, the entire bridge of the ship was nearing a panicked state. This was not the actions of those practicing civility, but rather the common behaviors of despoiling barbarians, the kind that tore their way through the dark reaches of the galaxy as if they owned it.
“Wayfinder, what do your probes see?” Shouted the ship’s sovereign. He was an older Kar’Rowmach, an amphibious cephalopod species with a venerable history within the Jurisdiction going back thousands of years. Normally one such as him would be above me if it weren't for the fact that I was under the authority of the Jurisdiction’s seal of office. He didn't like me very much, but most of his kind shared the same sentiment.
“All dark, honorable Sovereign: the sensor arrays are wailing but the feedback we're reviewing is beyond incomprehensible,” the wayfinder replied with a certain restrained temper in his voice. The Sok'klar wayfinder swayed gently, his tentacled limbs grasping different metallo-liquid braille output arrays, the liquid gallium flexing and reshaping unnaturally to allow him to to take in multiple different sources of sensory output at once, with the primary navigation computer plugged into the cybernetics surrounding his opaque, gelatinous head and plugging directly into his tube-shaped brain.
The Sovereign cursed in Loskat and pointed to his bridge crew while I simply sat in the back, near the Sovereign’s symbolic throne. “Prepare countermeasures and spool up the warp drive, we cannot allow the amanuensis to be taken! He carries sensitive information that only he can translate and transcribe!”
As the bridge crew nodded and began fiddling with their own systems, I preened my feathered hide anxiously. I wasn't a fighter: us nobles of the cloth were the educated minority above all else, not those who waged war or partook in hard labor. Special cybernetics in my brain allowed me to translate triple-encoded messages that usually took a ducal signet codekey or above to parse, but even without that I was a skilled mathematician and logician. I had terabytes worth of knowledge stored within the hardware installed in my head, all well protected of course, but if I were to die it would still be a waste. I could only imagine the damage any malcontenders could do with it if they were able to get their filthy hands on me.
Suddenly, the ship rocked, and the gallium overhead display began to form crescendos like I'd never seen before. “Sovereign, decks A-3 through C-12 are venting atmosphere and our coolant systems have been obliterated,” the Wayfinder spoke in an almost serene voice, as if he was completely unconcerned by current events. I knew they were simply incapable of tonal displays, but it was unnerving nonetheless. “Once we jump, we will not be able to risk another until the vacuum of the void can reduce temperatures to acceptable levels within the plasma capacitors.”
“Damn them,” the armored nautiloid hissed, his barbed feelers coiling in frustration, “May the currents take them. What are our options? what can we see? This fleet cannot fall to the void today, not with such vital cargo.” My hackles rose lightly at the Kar’Rowmach referred to me as some object rather than an esteemed amanuensis of the Jurisdiction, but I bit my forked tongue. Now was not the time to squabble with the sovereign over who was what and what titles I deserved, not while he was so desperately attempting to keep what semblance of order within his fleet that he had left.
I could not blame the crew for being panicked either: wars were practically mythologized now, having been long since rendered obsolete with the rise of the Jurisdiction, and that felt like an eternity ago. Now, either being levied into or joining a ducal naval force was simply another career, more akin to serving as an officer of the law rather than a fully fledged soldier. Minimal training was required, most of it being the technicals of one's duty rather than any kind of combat conditioning, so expecting a fleet to actually be prepared for a combat scenario in a universe where peace was the norm was laughable.
“We are practically blind, Sovereign,” stated the Sok'klar Wayfinder, “our probes are offline, and shipboard graviton displacement sensory arrays have been rendered unreliable at best.”
“What about the particle emission array? Has there been a spike in radioactivity where we were hit?”
The Wayfinder seemed to think for a second, his gelatinous form flexing and morphing a bit before answering. “Affirmative, a jump from negligible to forty billion becquerels along decks A through E-5 on our starboard side.”
“Torpedoes…” the Sovereign hissed, stroking his barbed feelers, “Human Torpedoes. Only those primitives would rely on crude nuclear warheads.” He then turned to his militant leaders on the ship. “Noddos, Rel’ads: organize your phalanxes and prepare to repel boarders. We are bound to be assailed by those rancorous primates, and I want their skulls piled at my feet if they dare set foot on our ship.”
“Your wish is our command, Sovereign,” the two militant commanders spoke as one. Noddos, a large bipedal with multiple sets of curved spines running down his back, a pair of graceful horns sprouting from his head, and multiple rows of sharp teeth in his snout, bowed first, followed by Rel’ads, a marsupial with long saberteeth and thick fur. They both must have been fierce warriors in their own right to each lead a phalanx. They wore thick, semi-powered armor and held dueling polearms alongside their usual plasma casters, and seemed completely unfazed by the situation we were in. As they stomped out of the brightly lit bridge, I let out a quiet squawk of discontentment. “Sovereign, why haven't we jumped again? We are wasting precious time.”
“I am working on it, you spineless beaurocrat!” He warbled back, his feelers tensing in anger, “besides, it's not as if you're the one who will be spilling blood today, amanuensis, so flatten your wretched beak or I shall weld it shut with a plasma torch.
I was about to reply with something indignant, but the ship rocked again, this time causing the lights to flicker and the air to become… thick. The skin under my feathers began to blister, and I became lightheaded and confused. “Seal the damnable vents, initiate radiation scrubbers, and activate secondary life support!” Shouted the Sovereign, “Their nuclear weapons are rendering the ship inhospitable!”
I coughed up magenta blood accidentally, and I could feel more seeping from under my eyes. Some of the crew was in a similar position, but others were more resistant to radiation than I. The Sok'klar seemed completely at ease as he ran his tentacles across his morphic braille arrays before calmly announcing the ship’s status. “I've regained some control over our probes: ten, twelve, and seventeen are active and fully functional, the rest are either still malfunctioning or permanently inoperable. A rapid rise in localized radiation is also interfering with the detection of graviton displacement; we can't sense photon redirection, thus readings will remain inconclusive.
“Wayfinder, damn you, get me some kind of out here! We're easy prey until we can respond in kind!”
“Negative, something has gone awry with our processing hub, I am attempting to troubleshoot-”
And with that, the Wayfinder’s bulbous head exploded in a cascade of opaque lavender blood, covering the front half of the deck crew like a morbid art piece. Some of the crew screamed and shouted in terror before removing their cranial adaptors and choosing to interact with their displays manually. Others died just as quickly, unable to unplug in time as their brain stems fried or their blood boiled. It was a horrible way to go, having your insides neutralized by your own cybernetics, so I was glad I wasn't connected to the system.
“Cybernetic warfare! All systems are to be considered compromised, switch to manual settings or you'll be killed!”
The lights in the bridge flickered again, and the displays went haywire. The bridge crew, which obviously weren't acquainted with working without being hard-linked into the mainframe, moved at a much slower pace.
“Launch missile pods A through F and set to self-target after five hundred kilometers, then rely on their ballistic coordinates to begin firing broadsides! If we can't see the humans due to their meddling, we'll just have to feel them.” Shouted the Sovereign, “and got me a detailed report on the ship’s diagnostics readings. I need to know if this flagship is still capable of escaping or if we'll have to scuttle it and retreat on another.”
“Acknowledged, Sovereign, launching now,” affirmed another deck officer as he swiped across his own gallium output array. I could hear the dull thunk, thunk, thunk of missiles pushing out of their pods before racing off to their intended targets, then the mechanical whirring as the pods rotated to be reloaded by slaves in the lower decks. I was regaining my bearings as the many horrible sensations of being overwhelmed by radiation poisoning were beginning to subside, but I still felt as if I had been microwaved. The air was stale, the crew was horribly sick as well, and even the sovereign himself seemed to be on his last leg. I was beginning to believe that I might die here.
“Sovereign, a message from the lower decks,” shouted a communications officer, his chitin scraping against itself as he turned quickly, “they're requesting reinforcements, something about being overrun.”
“Impossible,” the Sovereign hissed out in a vain attempt to exude confidence, “We must outnumber the humans, they always go for bigger targets out of arrogance.”
“I've received reports that it's not just humans: the primates seem to make up only a third or so of the assailing force, along with some Phaeldaer and Vrex.”
The commander slammed his clawed hands down on his own output array in a fit of rage, obviously overwhelmed by the circumstances, “Then this wasn't just a typical assault, but something more sinister!” The nautiloid warbled, blood seeping from his shell as the full effects of the radiation took hold, “Get Rel’ads on the line, have him divert all spare lances to the lower decks or else we'll lose the only offensive capabilities we can use.”
“Rel'ads has gone dark, Sovereign, his vitals are critical.”
“Then either get me Rel'ads tail-leader or get me Noddos!” He screamed in rage, “don't give me this nonsense! If we don't pick it up we're all going to die, is that what you want?”
“No, Sovereign, I'm simply overwhelmed-”
“We're all overwhelmed! By the tides, I'm dying of radiation poisoning you nincompoop! Get me something I can work with!”
The officer didn't even acknowledge the Sovereign after that, simply turning back to his display. Eventually, the Sovereign was able to get Noddos on the line.
“Sovereign, two thirds of my phalanxes have been decimated by combat with the primitives and the radiation, the rest are in shambles. We must retreat and fortify elsewhere!”
“Then the ship is compromised! Rel'ads is unresponsive and the lower decks are swarming with intruders. We must evacuate the amanuensis to another ship.”
Just as the Sovereign spoke, I heard several gentle thumps rattle against the bridge’s door, and it made me uneasy. Some of the bridge crew seemed to feel the same, as they looked incredibly nervous and some even drew their sidearms. Just as the sovereign turned to give further orders, the door blew inward with a deafening explosion, followed by shouting and gunfire. Several of the bridge officers were dispatched quickly, brain matter and blood splattering against the delicate electronics. Others were shot in the legs, the torso, or in any other exotic yet non-vital body parts. The humans poured in, brandishing primitive ballistic firearms and jury-rigged energy weapons while wearing scavenged, legion-grade powered armor.
The Sovereign was the next to go, but he wasn't afforded an honorable death. He was shot along the arm with a particularly potent plasma caster, burning off his clawed hand and cauterizing the wound, the acrid smell of roasting chitin filling the already hot and cramped bridge. He fell back against his output array, the gallium reaching new highs and lows as more diagnostics and casualty reports were delivered, and he clutched his stump angrily. “I'll burn every last one of you in the foundries! I'll tie you to stakes, cover you in wax and set you alight! Your screams will be broadcasted all over the galaxy!”
One human warrior stomped up and slammed the butt of his rifle into the sovereign’s face, shattering his facial plates and causing blue blood to splatter across his section of the bridge. “Shut the fuck up, you mutant lobster,” the human said before dragging him by both antennae towards the center of the bridge and receiving a stained breeching axe from one of his comrades. “Emmanuel, start recording. We need proof.”
The other human nodded and pressed a button on his armor before lifting up his gun again. The rest of the humans fanned out, holding everyone else at gunpoint. I tried to get up and sneak out, but a human grabbed me by my neck and nearly wrung it out as he forced me to my knees and pointed a sidearm to my skull. “Get down, you piece of shit, before I blow your brains out too.”
“Damnable primate,” I hissed, but he bashed me in my skull with the base of his sidearm’s grip and sent me sprawling, making my already pounding headache worse. Another human shouted at him in a language I didn't recognize, but he sounded furious. The first brought me back up to my knees again, and I complies with a hiss and a groan, blood still leaking from my eyes and mouth and my world was spinning.
The Sovereign struggled, but he was weak from the radiation poisoning and he couldn't exactly resist on account of his lost arm. The human with the breaching ax kicked the Sovereign down and forced him to kneel before lifting up the breeching ax and splitting his chitinous head down the middle with one powerful swing, sending more blood and brains across the floor. “Execution confirmed, take his antennae just in case and we've got ourselves a bounty. Now all we need is that ugly cat’s teeth and the fat hedgehog-thing’s grimy spines and we'll be in business. Although, they do have skulls… we might as well just take their heads.”
The real horror of the situation dawned on me at that moment: they were going to kill us all, or maybe worse. They mentioned a bounty for the commanders, and multiple of the higher ranking ship officers were already dead, their brains splattered against the walls or their bodies torn apart by gunfire. I wasn't dead yet, but that didn't mean much since I wasn't an immediate threat.
“Alright, round them up and bring all the grunts to the hanger bay, then kill the rest,” the leader of the humans said in such a lackadaisical manner that his complete disregard for life almost made me sick… almost. I had seen worse from the Jurisdiction before, but usually that was from me delivering some kind of ordered judgment on a world that had sinned against order. I might have simply been the messenger, but I had seen many of the outcomes. “And make sure to collect whatever proof of bounties you can, we'll need to deliver them to the office to get cashed out. Don't let this be a repeat of last time where Juarez fucking forgot to take a few heads and it ended up cutting our profits in half, the fucking retard.”
Some of the humans chuckled at that as they dragged more of the senior officers away, out of the room and into the hall,where I heard gunshots. The rest of the bridge crew froze in place, different fear instincts kicking in. The remaining Sok'klar corralled together into what seemed to be a singular, semi-congealed mass as if to try and trick the humans into believing that they were much bigger and much more threatening than they actually were. The one Thei’chi on the bridge, an ensign who had clearly thought this would be a simple mission, bore her curved fangs at the humans and growled as they approached, her hackles completely vertical and her eyes dilated. They quickly muzzled and bound her before beating her over the head with a gun stock, sending her sprawling onto the ground. Many others simply cooperated, eyes wide and yet simultaneously empty, as if they couldn't quite process that the ship had been taken and the commanding officers were being executed as the rest were escorted to the hangar.
“Get the damn messenger down to the hanger as well, we need whatever data's in his ugly lizard head, then we can decide on what to do with him.”
I spat at him in spite, as if to try and seem brave, but it was clearly an empty gesture. “You won't get anything, primate! You couldn't possibly crack the encryption!”
The human holding me seemed to wind up for another swing, but the commanding officer simply held up his hand to stop my tormentor before strolling over to me. He knelt down and removed his helmet, revealing a beige-colored face covered in scars, wiry black hair cut down to the scalp, and multiple tattoos. “You're really fucking mouthy for a hostage,” he said before punching me across my beak faster than I could register. I heard a sharp crack as his fist connected, and my head spun again as the metallic taste of blood pooled into my mouth. “I'd advise you to shut up, but I'm sure you won't listen: you aristocratic types are so full of yourselves. Maybe I should have you flogged in the public square until your vocal chords give out once we rip those cybernetics from your head, huh? How's that sound?”
“It won't matter… it won't change anything… the Jurisdiction will hunt you down.”
“Maybe, but I doubt it will happen for some time: they really suck at doing anything that requires effort, even when they're mad enough. They just keep sending their rabid lapdogs to try and smoke us out, and they always end up full of holes,” the human officer said with a smirk, his yellowish-white teeth and green eyes sending shivers down my spine as he drew his knife. “They're just horrible at their job, you know? You've all gotten so lazy and incompetent after being able to just take what you want without resistance, and now that you've met people who are angry and crazy enough to fight back you act as if we're committing some grave injustice,” he placed the knife against my throat, the flat just underneath my now bent beak, “No, we just took a few pages out of your book, ‘cept we've got standards. No kids, for one…” he seemed to look off into the distance as his sneer deepened, “but it's more than that, we don't attack the defenseless in general and we still win against you all in fair fights.”
I went to say something else snarky, but he quickly grabbed my thin tongue with his fingers and yanked it out, blood from my mouth pulling to the floor as he held the blade of his knife against it. “No no, none of that. Say one more thing and I'll cut that rancid little tongue of yours out of your mouth and feed it to you,” he hissed at me, pressing the blade down just hard enough to draw blood. “Do you know what it's like to see a planet turn into a tomb?" he asked me, gritting his teeth, “Do you know what it's like to see everything you've ever known crumble to ash and glass, all the life and the green stripped away leaving nothing but bones? I do. I've seen it happen to countless worlds, and my grandfather always told me stories of how you bastards did it to Earth. He still prays in its direction five times a day, to Mecca, but he knows the Kaaba is gone now, or maybe it's still there, buried in the bones of those who sought refuge there.”
I didn't care for the human’s nonsensical beliefs, but I did care to correct him. “I've seen it before, and I'll see it again. And so will you, it's inevitable. The Jurisdiction will always have its judgment fulfilled, there is no alternative.”
“One day, I hope we can rectify that,” he said, then he sheathed his knife and slammed my head against the metal floor with enough force to nearly knock me out. As I lost consciousness, I could hear him speak. “Take him to the Chop Doc, and make sure the cybernetics don't get damaged: they're supposedly more valuable than any bounty on this ship.”
Warning: Severe radiation poisoning detected. Flush system immediately.
Warning: Neural Lace removal detected, chance of neurological damage high. Proceeded with caution.
submitted by Gazooonga to HFY [link] [comments]
Start of Personal Log
Humans don't like being told what to do. They don't like being commanded, put in their place, or snubbed. It was an inexorable, inalienable trait of humans, at least any noteable humans, to go against any authority that they believed was against their interests.
Humanity would not fit amongst the stars. Few ever did. It was a trait of most successful species to be willful, ambitious, and to desire more. But once they reached the stars the new (and simultaneously very old) pecking order either quashed any spirit such species had or simply eradicated them. Countless tomb worlds and diaspora served as painful reminders of what became of the nails that chose to stick out. The hammer of order would always strike. There could be no compromise, the very soul of the authority that held the Jurisdiction together relied on a show of unmatched power, or at least the illusion of item.
In reality, the Jurisdiction was an old, fat, and lazy beast. It filled its belly on the corpses of empires far and wide, and sated its bloodlust on the shattered dreams of hopeful cubs. It had every right to, for none could challenge it: there were no new frontiers to explore, nor were there any other enemies to conquer. The Milky Way, as humans had so strangely dubbed our cradle galaxy, as well as Andromeda, had long since been warred over and settled for millennia before humanity had arrived, bright-eyed and with familiar yet otherwise foolish dreams of cooperation and prosperity. The Jurisdiction did not cooperate, nor did it ensure prosperity. Oh, it claimed it did, but in reality it simply took. The rest was just the peace that came with not being the direct target of the biggest fish in the pond. The humans didn't like that, but they had no choice.
Slavery was a common tribute. The Jurisdiction had no use for other resources: it simply took. No, it wanted those who could facilitate that unequal exchange, those raised in a world where the only morality was the one set by your lord. The Jurisdiction was held together by expectations, obligations, and dury more than any kind of shared dream, so when you were ordered to take you did so without question. Humanity was new: they had no niche or value that set them apart, but they had a penchant for killing and taking, so the Jurisdiction gave them a taste of how the galaxy worked. They killed and they took. The humans didn't like that, but what choice did they have?
Humans were strange. They learned, but not in the way most species learned. Most species learned to adapt in a passive way, to adhere to the world around them. They flowed like water, moving past and around obstacles and confirming to the boxes they were assigned too. Humans didn't confirm, nor did they adapt: they made their circumstances fit their desires. They would not move around obstacles, but rather smash through them, and they refused to stay in one box for too long. The Jurisdiction merely saw them as a particularly loud nuisance, but those who faced their wrath knew better.
It is said that when a beast seeks to make an example, it shall humble its rival by killing it's cubs. Children were one of those universal constants that brought entire communities together: the Sok’klar saw their hatchlings as gifts, shaped by the fruitful currents of the universe in perfect harmony. The Yarrack saw each and every newborn whelp as an uncut gemstone, ready to be shaped into something magical. Humanity oftentimes referred to their offspring as angels, or spirits of unbridled good sent by the gods themselves. Children were seen by most of the galaxy as gifts.
The Jurisdiction saw them as a lever to inflict suffering. It had become quite effective at enacting psychological punishments on those that stood up and spoke out. You dare to disobey? You believe you can speak out? Your gifts shall be taken from you, and you shall be without joy.
Humans didn't like this, but the Jurisdiction would have their pound of flesh, and humankind would kneel. And they did. But humans were patient creatures: most species who retained that trait of willful spit also lacked patience.
I had long since become desensitized to the Jurisdiction’s actions: it was simply how the universe worked now, as if it were a constant akin to gravity. Cruelty was the unspoken rule of this seemingly unending age, where our lives never appeared to move forward or backwards, only lay dormant. The Jurisdiction had been the unyielding authority that ruled the galaxy for thousands of years, venerable yet feared all the same.
And for the longest time I was just another cog in its wheel. My name is Kalnuracht Sedjuur-Noumar VII, and was the scion of the noble house Sedjuur-Noumar. I was born into what most would describe as veiled apathy, living a life that could be attributed to the privileged class of feared scribes that enacted the will of those above. I was an administrator and nothing more. And now I am doomed to be far less than that in the eyes of my former constituents within the endless administration. I am the only scion, as is tradition, and without an heir I am the last of my house, our name to be scrubbed from the records, worthless, meaningless, and forgotten.
I am merely Kalnuracht, nothing else and nothing more. I have seen from their eyes, the eyes of the downtrodden, and it makes my crimes of association with the Jurisdiction feel all the more damning on my worthless soul. I am worthless to the world, and this is my story.
End Personal Log #1
Start of Neural Lace Narrative Log #1
They came from the black like carrion birds in the night, encircling our convoy as if it were a dying animal ready to be picked clean without remorse. There was no warning, no list of demands sent out as civilized peoples did, nor was there either any requirement for unconditional surrender nor chance to parlay, as was done so under letter of marque: this was an unmistakable call for violence and nothing else. They sought to reduce us to slag and scavenge the rest.
So, as one would expect, the entire bridge of the ship was nearing a panicked state. This was not the actions of those practicing civility, but rather the common behaviors of despoiling barbarians, the kind that tore their way through the dark reaches of the galaxy as if they owned it.
“Wayfinder, what do your probes see?” Shouted the ship’s sovereign. He was an older Kar’Rowmach, an amphibious cephalopod species with a venerable history within the Jurisdiction going back thousands of years. Normally one such as him would be above me if it weren't for the fact that I was under the authority of the Jurisdiction’s seal of office. He didn't like me very much, but most of his kind shared the same sentiment.
“All dark, honorable Sovereign: the sensor arrays are wailing but the feedback we're reviewing is beyond incomprehensible,” the wayfinder replied with a certain restrained temper in his voice. The Sok'klar wayfinder swayed gently, his tentacled limbs grasping different metallo-liquid braille output arrays, the liquid gallium flexing and reshaping unnaturally to allow him to to take in multiple different sources of sensory output at once, with the primary navigation computer plugged into the cybernetics surrounding his opaque, gelatinous head and plugging directly into his tube-shaped brain.
The Sovereign cursed in Loskat and pointed to his bridge crew while I simply sat in the back, near the Sovereign’s symbolic throne. “Prepare countermeasures and spool up the warp drive, we cannot allow the amanuensis to be taken! He carries sensitive information that only he can translate and transcribe!”
As the bridge crew nodded and began fiddling with their own systems, I preened my feathered hide anxiously. I wasn't a fighter: us nobles of the cloth were the educated minority above all else, not those who waged war or partook in hard labor. Special cybernetics in my brain allowed me to translate triple-encoded messages that usually took a ducal signet codekey or above to parse, but even without that I was a skilled mathematician and logician. I had terabytes worth of knowledge stored within the hardware installed in my head, all well protected of course, but if I were to die it would still be a waste. I could only imagine the damage any malcontenders could do with it if they were able to get their filthy hands on me.
Suddenly, the ship rocked, and the gallium overhead display began to form crescendos like I'd never seen before. “Sovereign, decks A-3 through C-12 are venting atmosphere and our coolant systems have been obliterated,” the Wayfinder spoke in an almost serene voice, as if he was completely unconcerned by current events. I knew they were simply incapable of tonal displays, but it was unnerving nonetheless. “Once we jump, we will not be able to risk another until the vacuum of the void can reduce temperatures to acceptable levels within the plasma capacitors.”
“Damn them,” the armored nautiloid hissed, his barbed feelers coiling in frustration, “May the currents take them. What are our options? what can we see? This fleet cannot fall to the void today, not with such vital cargo.” My hackles rose lightly at the Kar’Rowmach referred to me as some object rather than an esteemed amanuensis of the Jurisdiction, but I bit my forked tongue. Now was not the time to squabble with the sovereign over who was what and what titles I deserved, not while he was so desperately attempting to keep what semblance of order within his fleet that he had left.
I could not blame the crew for being panicked either: wars were practically mythologized now, having been long since rendered obsolete with the rise of the Jurisdiction, and that felt like an eternity ago. Now, either being levied into or joining a ducal naval force was simply another career, more akin to serving as an officer of the law rather than a fully fledged soldier. Minimal training was required, most of it being the technicals of one's duty rather than any kind of combat conditioning, so expecting a fleet to actually be prepared for a combat scenario in a universe where peace was the norm was laughable.
“We are practically blind, Sovereign,” stated the Sok'klar Wayfinder, “our probes are offline, and shipboard graviton displacement sensory arrays have been rendered unreliable at best.”
“What about the particle emission array? Has there been a spike in radioactivity where we were hit?”
The Wayfinder seemed to think for a second, his gelatinous form flexing and morphing a bit before answering. “Affirmative, a jump from negligible to forty billion becquerels along decks A through E-5 on our starboard side.”
“Torpedoes…” the Sovereign hissed, stroking his barbed feelers, “Human Torpedoes. Only those primitives would rely on crude nuclear warheads.” He then turned to his militant leaders on the ship. “Noddos, Rel’ads: organize your phalanxes and prepare to repel boarders. We are bound to be assailed by those rancorous primates, and I want their skulls piled at my feet if they dare set foot on our ship.”
“Your wish is our command, Sovereign,” the two militant commanders spoke as one. Noddos, a large bipedal with multiple sets of curved spines running down his back, a pair of graceful horns sprouting from his head, and multiple rows of sharp teeth in his snout, bowed first, followed by Rel’ads, a marsupial with long saberteeth and thick fur. They both must have been fierce warriors in their own right to each lead a phalanx. They wore thick, semi-powered armor and held dueling polearms alongside their usual plasma casters, and seemed completely unfazed by the situation we were in. As they stomped out of the brightly lit bridge, I let out a quiet squawk of discontentment. “Sovereign, why haven't we jumped again? We are wasting precious time.”
“I am working on it, you spineless beaurocrat!” He warbled back, his feelers tensing in anger, “besides, it's not as if you're the one who will be spilling blood today, amanuensis, so flatten your wretched beak or I shall weld it shut with a plasma torch.
I was about to reply with something indignant, but the ship rocked again, this time causing the lights to flicker and the air to become… thick. The skin under my feathers began to blister, and I became lightheaded and confused. “Seal the damnable vents, initiate radiation scrubbers, and activate secondary life support!” Shouted the Sovereign, “Their nuclear weapons are rendering the ship inhospitable!”
I coughed up magenta blood accidentally, and I could feel more seeping from under my eyes. Some of the crew was in a similar position, but others were more resistant to radiation than I. The Sok'klar seemed completely at ease as he ran his tentacles across his morphic braille arrays before calmly announcing the ship’s status. “I've regained some control over our probes: ten, twelve, and seventeen are active and fully functional, the rest are either still malfunctioning or permanently inoperable. A rapid rise in localized radiation is also interfering with the detection of graviton displacement; we can't sense photon redirection, thus readings will remain inconclusive.
“Wayfinder, damn you, get me some kind of out here! We're easy prey until we can respond in kind!”
“Negative, something has gone awry with our processing hub, I am attempting to troubleshoot-”
And with that, the Wayfinder’s bulbous head exploded in a cascade of opaque lavender blood, covering the front half of the deck crew like a morbid art piece. Some of the crew screamed and shouted in terror before removing their cranial adaptors and choosing to interact with their displays manually. Others died just as quickly, unable to unplug in time as their brain stems fried or their blood boiled. It was a horrible way to go, having your insides neutralized by your own cybernetics, so I was glad I wasn't connected to the system.
“Cybernetic warfare! All systems are to be considered compromised, switch to manual settings or you'll be killed!”
The lights in the bridge flickered again, and the displays went haywire. The bridge crew, which obviously weren't acquainted with working without being hard-linked into the mainframe, moved at a much slower pace.
“Launch missile pods A through F and set to self-target after five hundred kilometers, then rely on their ballistic coordinates to begin firing broadsides! If we can't see the humans due to their meddling, we'll just have to feel them.” Shouted the Sovereign, “and got me a detailed report on the ship’s diagnostics readings. I need to know if this flagship is still capable of escaping or if we'll have to scuttle it and retreat on another.”
“Acknowledged, Sovereign, launching now,” affirmed another deck officer as he swiped across his own gallium output array. I could hear the dull thunk, thunk, thunk of missiles pushing out of their pods before racing off to their intended targets, then the mechanical whirring as the pods rotated to be reloaded by slaves in the lower decks. I was regaining my bearings as the many horrible sensations of being overwhelmed by radiation poisoning were beginning to subside, but I still felt as if I had been microwaved. The air was stale, the crew was horribly sick as well, and even the sovereign himself seemed to be on his last leg. I was beginning to believe that I might die here.
“Sovereign, a message from the lower decks,” shouted a communications officer, his chitin scraping against itself as he turned quickly, “they're requesting reinforcements, something about being overrun.”
“Impossible,” the Sovereign hissed out in a vain attempt to exude confidence, “We must outnumber the humans, they always go for bigger targets out of arrogance.”
“I've received reports that it's not just humans: the primates seem to make up only a third or so of the assailing force, along with some Phaeldaer and Vrex.”
The commander slammed his clawed hands down on his own output array in a fit of rage, obviously overwhelmed by the circumstances, “Then this wasn't just a typical assault, but something more sinister!” The nautiloid warbled, blood seeping from his shell as the full effects of the radiation took hold, “Get Rel’ads on the line, have him divert all spare lances to the lower decks or else we'll lose the only offensive capabilities we can use.”
“Rel'ads has gone dark, Sovereign, his vitals are critical.”
“Then either get me Rel'ads tail-leader or get me Noddos!” He screamed in rage, “don't give me this nonsense! If we don't pick it up we're all going to die, is that what you want?”
“No, Sovereign, I'm simply overwhelmed-”
“We're all overwhelmed! By the tides, I'm dying of radiation poisoning you nincompoop! Get me something I can work with!”
The officer didn't even acknowledge the Sovereign after that, simply turning back to his display. Eventually, the Sovereign was able to get Noddos on the line.
“Sovereign, two thirds of my phalanxes have been decimated by combat with the primitives and the radiation, the rest are in shambles. We must retreat and fortify elsewhere!”
“Then the ship is compromised! Rel'ads is unresponsive and the lower decks are swarming with intruders. We must evacuate the amanuensis to another ship.”
Just as the Sovereign spoke, I heard several gentle thumps rattle against the bridge’s door, and it made me uneasy. Some of the bridge crew seemed to feel the same, as they looked incredibly nervous and some even drew their sidearms. Just as the sovereign turned to give further orders, the door blew inward with a deafening explosion, followed by shouting and gunfire. Several of the bridge officers were dispatched quickly, brain matter and blood splattering against the delicate electronics. Others were shot in the legs, the torso, or in any other exotic yet non-vital body parts. The humans poured in, brandishing primitive ballistic firearms and jury-rigged energy weapons while wearing scavenged, legion-grade powered armor.
The Sovereign was the next to go, but he wasn't afforded an honorable death. He was shot along the arm with a particularly potent plasma caster, burning off his clawed hand and cauterizing the wound, the acrid smell of roasting chitin filling the already hot and cramped bridge. He fell back against his output array, the gallium reaching new highs and lows as more diagnostics and casualty reports were delivered, and he clutched his stump angrily. “I'll burn every last one of you in the foundries! I'll tie you to stakes, cover you in wax and set you alight! Your screams will be broadcasted all over the galaxy!”
One human warrior stomped up and slammed the butt of his rifle into the sovereign’s face, shattering his facial plates and causing blue blood to splatter across his section of the bridge. “Shut the fuck up, you mutant lobster,” the human said before dragging him by both antennae towards the center of the bridge and receiving a stained breeching axe from one of his comrades. “Emmanuel, start recording. We need proof.”
The other human nodded and pressed a button on his armor before lifting up his gun again. The rest of the humans fanned out, holding everyone else at gunpoint. I tried to get up and sneak out, but a human grabbed me by my neck and nearly wrung it out as he forced me to my knees and pointed a sidearm to my skull. “Get down, you piece of shit, before I blow your brains out too.”
“Damnable primate,” I hissed, but he bashed me in my skull with the base of his sidearm’s grip and sent me sprawling, making my already pounding headache worse. Another human shouted at him in a language I didn't recognize, but he sounded furious. The first brought me back up to my knees again, and I complies with a hiss and a groan, blood still leaking from my eyes and mouth and my world was spinning.
The Sovereign struggled, but he was weak from the radiation poisoning and he couldn't exactly resist on account of his lost arm. The human with the breaching ax kicked the Sovereign down and forced him to kneel before lifting up the breeching ax and splitting his chitinous head down the middle with one powerful swing, sending more blood and brains across the floor. “Execution confirmed, take his antennae just in case and we've got ourselves a bounty. Now all we need is that ugly cat’s teeth and the fat hedgehog-thing’s grimy spines and we'll be in business. Although, they do have skulls… we might as well just take their heads.”
The real horror of the situation dawned on me at that moment: they were going to kill us all, or maybe worse. They mentioned a bounty for the commanders, and multiple of the higher ranking ship officers were already dead, their brains splattered against the walls or their bodies torn apart by gunfire. I wasn't dead yet, but that didn't mean much since I wasn't an immediate threat.
“Alright, round them up and bring all the grunts to the hanger bay, then kill the rest,” the leader of the humans said in such a lackadaisical manner that his complete disregard for life almost made me sick… almost. I had seen worse from the Jurisdiction before, but usually that was from me delivering some kind of ordered judgment on a world that had sinned against order. I might have simply been the messenger, but I had seen many of the outcomes. “And make sure to collect whatever proof of bounties you can, we'll need to deliver them to the office to get cashed out. Don't let this be a repeat of last time where Juarez fucking forgot to take a few heads and it ended up cutting our profits in half, the fucking retard.”
Some of the humans chuckled at that as they dragged more of the senior officers away, out of the room and into the hall,where I heard gunshots. The rest of the bridge crew froze in place, different fear instincts kicking in. The remaining Sok'klar corralled together into what seemed to be a singular, semi-congealed mass as if to try and trick the humans into believing that they were much bigger and much more threatening than they actually were. The one Thei’chi on the bridge, an ensign who had clearly thought this would be a simple mission, bore her curved fangs at the humans and growled as they approached, her hackles completely vertical and her eyes dilated. They quickly muzzled and bound her before beating her over the head with a gun stock, sending her sprawling onto the ground. Many others simply cooperated, eyes wide and yet simultaneously empty, as if they couldn't quite process that the ship had been taken and the commanding officers were being executed as the rest were escorted to the hangar.
“Get the damn messenger down to the hanger as well, we need whatever data's in his ugly lizard head, then we can decide on what to do with him.”
I spat at him in spite, as if to try and seem brave, but it was clearly an empty gesture. “You won't get anything, primate! You couldn't possibly crack the encryption!”
The human holding me seemed to wind up for another swing, but the commanding officer simply held up his hand to stop my tormentor before strolling over to me. He knelt down and removed his helmet, revealing a beige-colored face covered in scars, wiry black hair cut down to the scalp, and multiple tattoos. “You're really fucking mouthy for a hostage,” he said before punching me across my beak faster than I could register. I heard a sharp crack as his fist connected, and my head spun again as the metallic taste of blood pooled into my mouth. “I'd advise you to shut up, but I'm sure you won't listen: you aristocratic types are so full of yourselves. Maybe I should have you flogged in the public square until your vocal chords give out once we rip those cybernetics from your head, huh? How's that sound?”
“It won't matter… it won't change anything… the Jurisdiction will hunt you down.”
“Maybe, but I doubt it will happen for some time: they really suck at doing anything that requires effort, even when they're mad enough. They just keep sending their rabid lapdogs to try and smoke us out, and they always end up full of holes,” the human officer said with a smirk, his yellowish-white teeth and green eyes sending shivers down my spine as he drew his knife. “They're just horrible at their job, you know? You've all gotten so lazy and incompetent after being able to just take what you want without resistance, and now that you've met people who are angry and crazy enough to fight back you act as if we're committing some grave injustice,” he placed the knife against my throat, the flat just underneath my now bent beak, “No, we just took a few pages out of your book, ‘cept we've got standards. No kids, for one…” he seemed to look off into the distance as his sneer deepened, “but it's more than that, we don't attack the defenseless in general and we still win against you all in fair fights.”
I went to say something else snarky, but he quickly grabbed my thin tongue with his fingers and yanked it out, blood from my mouth pulling to the floor as he held the blade of his knife against it. “No no, none of that. Say one more thing and I'll cut that rancid little tongue of yours out of your mouth and feed it to you,” he hissed at me, pressing the blade down just hard enough to draw blood. “Do you know what it's like to see a planet turn into a tomb?" he asked me, gritting his teeth, “Do you know what it's like to see everything you've ever known crumble to ash and glass, all the life and the green stripped away leaving nothing but bones? I do. I've seen it happen to countless worlds, and my grandfather always told me stories of how you bastards did it to Earth. He still prays in its direction five times a day, to Mecca, but he knows the Kaaba is gone now, or maybe it's still there, buried in the bones of those who sought refuge there.”
I didn't care for the human’s nonsensical beliefs, but I did care to correct him. “I've seen it before, and I'll see it again. And so will you, it's inevitable. The Jurisdiction will always have its judgment fulfilled, there is no alternative.”
“One day, I hope we can rectify that,” he said, then he sheathed his knife and slammed my head against the metal floor with enough force to nearly knock me out. As I lost consciousness, I could hear him speak. “Take him to the Chop Doc, and make sure the cybernetics don't get damaged: they're supposedly more valuable than any bounty on this ship.”
Warning: Severe radiation poisoning detected. Flush system immediately.
Warning: Neural Lace removal detected, chance of neurological damage high. Proceeded with caution.
2024.05.19 01:11 Excellent-Bit-514 Bought a house with my parents years ago. What do I do now?
-About 10 years ago, I bought a house with my parents. They contributed 1/3 of the purchase price in cash, and I took out a mortgage for the rest (and paid closing costs). I am the only name on the deed, so the house is legally mine.
-I lived with them in the house for a couple years. After I got married, my spouse and I moved into into a condo that my parents own near our work (the tenant had just vacated and it seemed like a good opportunity).
-So my parents are living in my house and my spouse and I are living in my parents’ condo. The arrangement is weird, but has worked fine. Parents pay for maintenance/repairs on the house, and I pay for maintenance/repairs on the condo. We don't pay any rent to each other.
-Years passed, and my wife and I now have a child (with another on the way) and are ready to buy our own house. Our plan is to pay off the mortgage on the house I bought with my parents, and buy our new house in cash or mostly cash. We are meeting with our financial pro in 2 weeks to discuss.
-My parents want to continue living in the house we bought, but I have a lot of equity locked up in that house, and will also be on the hook for taxes/insurance even if I pay the mortgage off.
-What should we do now? Should we just continue paying taxes/insurance and wait to sell the property until my parents are no longer living there? Should we exchange titles (they get the house, I get the condo), and then I sell or rent out the condo? I know we need to have a conversation, but I want think about what's fair ahead of time.
-I’m strongly leaning towards just letting them live there and paying the taxes/insurance. We are debt free and are very fortunate to have a high household income ($500k+), so it won’t destroy us financially to do so. That said, having so much equity locked up in a house (versus the market) will mean that we’ll lose wealth-building potential in the long-run.
submitted by Excellent-Bit-514 to DaveRamsey [link] [comments]
-I lived with them in the house for a couple years. After I got married, my spouse and I moved into into a condo that my parents own near our work (the tenant had just vacated and it seemed like a good opportunity).
-So my parents are living in my house and my spouse and I are living in my parents’ condo. The arrangement is weird, but has worked fine. Parents pay for maintenance/repairs on the house, and I pay for maintenance/repairs on the condo. We don't pay any rent to each other.
-Years passed, and my wife and I now have a child (with another on the way) and are ready to buy our own house. Our plan is to pay off the mortgage on the house I bought with my parents, and buy our new house in cash or mostly cash. We are meeting with our financial pro in 2 weeks to discuss.
-My parents want to continue living in the house we bought, but I have a lot of equity locked up in that house, and will also be on the hook for taxes/insurance even if I pay the mortgage off.
-What should we do now? Should we just continue paying taxes/insurance and wait to sell the property until my parents are no longer living there? Should we exchange titles (they get the house, I get the condo), and then I sell or rent out the condo? I know we need to have a conversation, but I want think about what's fair ahead of time.
-I’m strongly leaning towards just letting them live there and paying the taxes/insurance. We are debt free and are very fortunate to have a high household income ($500k+), so it won’t destroy us financially to do so. That said, having so much equity locked up in a house (versus the market) will mean that we’ll lose wealth-building potential in the long-run.
2024.05.19 01:10 Ralabbe [5 YoE] US Front End Web Developer looking for some feedback on my resume
![[5 YoE] US Front End Web Developer looking for some feedback on my resume](https://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/7pSKAttF8XovEQ_m-2EonG7u7PbPI8dHR8i9uKtrU_o.jpg "[5 YoE] US Front End Web Developer looking for some feedback on my resume") | https://preview.redd.it/94j9ty3ko91d1.jpg?width=5100&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=84162eff6c7252d6fccaae1699f6a44d36a099be submitted by Ralabbe to EngineeringResumes [link] [comments] Hey everyone, I'm looking for some feedback on the content and structure of my resume. I recently posted my old resume on another subreddit and got a lot of helpful feedback but want to make sure I'm going in the right direction. My previous iteration had a lot more of my day to day tasks but I was suggested to follow the STAR method. Hopefully it looks a lot better but I know there's always room for improvement. I had a specific visual aesthetic to it but I got rid of most of it to follow all the feedback I received but kept some of it hence the red heading text and grey background for the experience. |
2024.05.19 01:10 Lost_Attitude_3704 Can I slow down or is that unfair?
About 60 days ago my(32M) wife(30F) told me she wants a divorce. 5 yrs together, 2 married, no kids, a dog and a house.
I asked for couples counseling, trial separation, a reconsiation and another try. She maintained her position of "too little too late" and she wants to live another way. She wants change, and she's been depressed. We've triggered each other's wounds and fears in many ways. I haven't always been attentive to her emotional needs, I'm still growing on my own emotional capacity through 18 months of therapy. It just sucks because we have so much care for each other and work so well together still.
We saw a collaborative divorce attorney who walked us through the process, we agreed to some things in principle and the first step is to sell the house.
Since then, things have been very good between us, as we cohabitate, communicate well, still plan meals and shopping with each other. We are very considerate of each other, embrace every day, talk about deep feelings and goings on in our lives and even have gone out to dinner together a number of times through this.
Despite all of this she has barley wavered, so I realize there's little chance the outcome won't be divorce.
In the past 3 weeks she has been moving quickly towards selling our house, with the realtor agreed to and listing this week, about 60 days out from telling me she wanted to end things. She's been packing and boxing and moving things to her parents nearby.
I'm still adjusting to this. I told her I wouldn't fight it but now I'm struggling with this level of reality. It almost makes me sick to pack.
I don't want to lose her. My whole life has collapsed around me. I'll need to move states, change my life so drastically. I want to pump the brakes, take pause but she wants to get this part done ASAP. There's not another romantic partner in the picture, I think she just needs change and wants it fast.
Am I overstepping by slowing things down? What's a reasonable time to wait? Should I just push through to give her what she's asking for? Anything else I should consider here?
Thanks to anyone for the support.
submitted by Lost_Attitude_3704 to Divorce [link] [comments]
I asked for couples counseling, trial separation, a reconsiation and another try. She maintained her position of "too little too late" and she wants to live another way. She wants change, and she's been depressed. We've triggered each other's wounds and fears in many ways. I haven't always been attentive to her emotional needs, I'm still growing on my own emotional capacity through 18 months of therapy. It just sucks because we have so much care for each other and work so well together still.
We saw a collaborative divorce attorney who walked us through the process, we agreed to some things in principle and the first step is to sell the house.
Since then, things have been very good between us, as we cohabitate, communicate well, still plan meals and shopping with each other. We are very considerate of each other, embrace every day, talk about deep feelings and goings on in our lives and even have gone out to dinner together a number of times through this.
Despite all of this she has barley wavered, so I realize there's little chance the outcome won't be divorce.
In the past 3 weeks she has been moving quickly towards selling our house, with the realtor agreed to and listing this week, about 60 days out from telling me she wanted to end things. She's been packing and boxing and moving things to her parents nearby.
I'm still adjusting to this. I told her I wouldn't fight it but now I'm struggling with this level of reality. It almost makes me sick to pack.
I don't want to lose her. My whole life has collapsed around me. I'll need to move states, change my life so drastically. I want to pump the brakes, take pause but she wants to get this part done ASAP. There's not another romantic partner in the picture, I think she just needs change and wants it fast.
Am I overstepping by slowing things down? What's a reasonable time to wait? Should I just push through to give her what she's asking for? Anything else I should consider here?
Thanks to anyone for the support.
2024.05.19 01:08 Educational-Tea-6572 Unpopular opinion, I know: I dislike Saw more than Cid - and not just because of what happened to Tech (though that incident was the final straw).
Cid made it clear from the get-go that she was untrustworthy, not above blackmail, and more than willing to sell out anyone and everyone to save herself. Despicable person though she is - and I'm glad she didn't show up in season 3 because I am not a violent person but I couldn't have guaranteed the continued functionality of my screen if she had appeared - she tells you and shows you exactly who she is, she doesn't pretend to be a selfless person, and you know what to expect.
Saw, on the other hand, wants to stick it to the Empire - which is a noble sentiment - but he uses this to justify anything he does, even when his plan won't actually affect the Empire (and will, in fact, hurt allies), while ultimately claiming he's right in doing morally questionable things and sacrificing innocents and friends alike, because "the greater good."
I've always been mostly neutral toward Saw - never liked his methods in Rebels or Rogue One but understood where he was coming from - but after the crap he pulled in Bad Batch season 2 that he knew wouldn't really impact the Empire but insisted on doing anyway? And it ended up getting sympathizers/allies killed? Nope, I'm done - all my sympathy is gone.
submitted by Educational-Tea-6572 to thebadbatch [link] [comments]
Saw, on the other hand, wants to stick it to the Empire - which is a noble sentiment - but he uses this to justify anything he does, even when his plan won't actually affect the Empire (and will, in fact, hurt allies), while ultimately claiming he's right in doing morally questionable things and sacrificing innocents and friends alike, because "the greater good."
I've always been mostly neutral toward Saw - never liked his methods in Rebels or Rogue One but understood where he was coming from - but after the crap he pulled in Bad Batch season 2 that he knew wouldn't really impact the Empire but insisted on doing anyway? And it ended up getting sympathizers/allies killed? Nope, I'm done - all my sympathy is gone.
2024.05.19 01:08 ThrowRAtempuse My(31f) bf(29m) doesn’t have love language. Is he taking me for granted?
I am 31F and he is 29M. We are together for 7 months now. We were friends for a year and hung out few times. It was easy talking to him and fun to be around. I told him I like him more than a friend. He said he feels the same so we start dating & official gf/bf. Our intention of dating to marry.
I find myself questioning things in recent times since I am trying to assess things after 6 months of relationship.
He is an easy going guy, helps me with cooking/dishes.
Should I move forward with him?
Some things that worry me: 1. I live by myself. Most of our time is spent with him coming over and us watching TV. Let’s say he comes over on Sunday: we watch tv or go get groceries & he stays over on Monday. I work from home so sometimes he just hangs at my house when I work. I tried initiating few hike/walk in park but he isn’t interested. He used to plan to hang out with me when friends but not anymore. 2. I recently found out his phone account is connected to his ex gf as account holder. They broke up over a 1.5 years and payments were going out of her bank. He just changed it recently to his name. 3. I told him I like it when my partner does special things like a note for me or say I look good without asking. I also hinted few times on flowers. I straight up asked him why he doesn’t do anything special to like impress me - he says he is not that type of person & he would be acting if he did it. I used to cook his fav meals (we are Indian so some take hours) and buy him a shirt or something he mentions & dress up well in the beginning but I feel not so motivated now. He says he likes me if I do all these or not & not important to him 4. I make double his income so I pay for most of our meals (only kinda date we go). I don’t have a car or drive so he is the one doing the driving though
Tdlr; bf of 6 months days doing or saying specials isn’t his personality. Should i continue or it doesn’t matter in a long run?
submitted by ThrowRAtempuse to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I find myself questioning things in recent times since I am trying to assess things after 6 months of relationship.
He is an easy going guy, helps me with cooking/dishes.
Should I move forward with him?
Some things that worry me: 1. I live by myself. Most of our time is spent with him coming over and us watching TV. Let’s say he comes over on Sunday: we watch tv or go get groceries & he stays over on Monday. I work from home so sometimes he just hangs at my house when I work. I tried initiating few hike/walk in park but he isn’t interested. He used to plan to hang out with me when friends but not anymore. 2. I recently found out his phone account is connected to his ex gf as account holder. They broke up over a 1.5 years and payments were going out of her bank. He just changed it recently to his name. 3. I told him I like it when my partner does special things like a note for me or say I look good without asking. I also hinted few times on flowers. I straight up asked him why he doesn’t do anything special to like impress me - he says he is not that type of person & he would be acting if he did it. I used to cook his fav meals (we are Indian so some take hours) and buy him a shirt or something he mentions & dress up well in the beginning but I feel not so motivated now. He says he likes me if I do all these or not & not important to him 4. I make double his income so I pay for most of our meals (only kinda date we go). I don’t have a car or drive so he is the one doing the driving though
Tdlr; bf of 6 months days doing or saying specials isn’t his personality. Should i continue or it doesn’t matter in a long run?
2024.05.19 01:07 poptartstickers Having so much trouble deciding!
My parents have been entirely unhelpful so I feel like I need strangers to weigh in on this for me.
A stray cat had kittens at my house. We were able to contain momma and babies in an enclosure and I've been spending time with them daily to get the kittens friendly so that they can find pet homes, after which momma will be spayed. It was agreed that I would be allowed to keep one kitten, if my current cat decides she'll allow it. And here lies the issue!
There are two kittens that already have homes to go to. There are two that don't. The two that don't are named Soona and Anaya, and they're both girls. Soona is the kitten I have planned to keep since very early on. They're now about 6 weeks old or so, maybe closer to 7, and their personalities are coming out. The problem is Soona doesn't like to be held -- she squirms and wriggles to get away, and she's the only one in the litter who does this. Anaya is perfectly content to be held. Soona bites harder and is generally rougher. Anaya is obviously still rough since she's a kitten, but less so. Soona's first reaction to a finger is to bite (playfully) whereas Anaya's is to rub her face on it. Sometimes Anaya even grabs my finger and pulls it to her face so she can rub on it. Soona has never rubbed on me.
Soona is turning out to not have the personality I was looking for -- I'd prefer a kitten that is affectionate and will cuddle, because my current cat is very "go eff yourself" in personality. My mother says if Soona's personality turns out to be like my current cat, she will make me rehome her later. I know that there's no guarantee and their personalities can change as they get older, but I'd like the best chance possible. I'm starting to feel that Anaya might be the best chance.
I'm also worried that Soona's personality being so feisty might cause issues with my current cat, who is also feisty. I'm concerned that their personalities might clash into aggression. Then again if Anaya is too gentle, my current cat might bully her. I'm not sure which would be the better option with my current cat. Unfortunately I can't test them both with her because I don't have time for proper introductions before I have to decide. I've been given a deadline to choose. June 1st they're old enough to go, and my mother wants them gone that day, end of discussion. So I have very little time left to decide which kitten to keep, and try to find a home for the other in time. I'm worried that it would be difficult to find a home for Soona because people want cuddly, sweet kittens and that isn't her personality. Also, Anaya is being considered by multiple people who are thinking about adopting her and I don't know if any of them would want Soona instead if I decide to keep Anaya.
I feel guilty because I've spent this whole time bonding with Soona, and now I'm second guessing if she would be the right one to keep. I know they're cats, they don't understand the concept of "he was going to keep me and he didn't, I've been betrayed!" but I still feel so torn up over even considering keeping Anaya instead. I don't know if I could let Soona go at this point after bonding with her for a couple months. But part of me knows that if I met the two of them without prior bonding, I would choose Anaya. This is just so hard.
I know their personalities can change as they get older, and that there's no way to know for sure what they'll be like. But my current cat, who doesn't appreciate physical contact, behaved alot like Soona around this age give or take a couple weeks. It makes me nervous about what Soona will be like when she's an adult.
I understand that there's only so much you guys can do through hearing all of this second hand, but I'd love some advice, reassurance, anything. I'm overwhelmed and stressed and don't have long to make this decision.
submitted by poptartstickers to CatAdvice [link] [comments]
A stray cat had kittens at my house. We were able to contain momma and babies in an enclosure and I've been spending time with them daily to get the kittens friendly so that they can find pet homes, after which momma will be spayed. It was agreed that I would be allowed to keep one kitten, if my current cat decides she'll allow it. And here lies the issue!
There are two kittens that already have homes to go to. There are two that don't. The two that don't are named Soona and Anaya, and they're both girls. Soona is the kitten I have planned to keep since very early on. They're now about 6 weeks old or so, maybe closer to 7, and their personalities are coming out. The problem is Soona doesn't like to be held -- she squirms and wriggles to get away, and she's the only one in the litter who does this. Anaya is perfectly content to be held. Soona bites harder and is generally rougher. Anaya is obviously still rough since she's a kitten, but less so. Soona's first reaction to a finger is to bite (playfully) whereas Anaya's is to rub her face on it. Sometimes Anaya even grabs my finger and pulls it to her face so she can rub on it. Soona has never rubbed on me.
Soona is turning out to not have the personality I was looking for -- I'd prefer a kitten that is affectionate and will cuddle, because my current cat is very "go eff yourself" in personality. My mother says if Soona's personality turns out to be like my current cat, she will make me rehome her later. I know that there's no guarantee and their personalities can change as they get older, but I'd like the best chance possible. I'm starting to feel that Anaya might be the best chance.
I'm also worried that Soona's personality being so feisty might cause issues with my current cat, who is also feisty. I'm concerned that their personalities might clash into aggression. Then again if Anaya is too gentle, my current cat might bully her. I'm not sure which would be the better option with my current cat. Unfortunately I can't test them both with her because I don't have time for proper introductions before I have to decide. I've been given a deadline to choose. June 1st they're old enough to go, and my mother wants them gone that day, end of discussion. So I have very little time left to decide which kitten to keep, and try to find a home for the other in time. I'm worried that it would be difficult to find a home for Soona because people want cuddly, sweet kittens and that isn't her personality. Also, Anaya is being considered by multiple people who are thinking about adopting her and I don't know if any of them would want Soona instead if I decide to keep Anaya.
I feel guilty because I've spent this whole time bonding with Soona, and now I'm second guessing if she would be the right one to keep. I know they're cats, they don't understand the concept of "he was going to keep me and he didn't, I've been betrayed!" but I still feel so torn up over even considering keeping Anaya instead. I don't know if I could let Soona go at this point after bonding with her for a couple months. But part of me knows that if I met the two of them without prior bonding, I would choose Anaya. This is just so hard.
I know their personalities can change as they get older, and that there's no way to know for sure what they'll be like. But my current cat, who doesn't appreciate physical contact, behaved alot like Soona around this age give or take a couple weeks. It makes me nervous about what Soona will be like when she's an adult.
I understand that there's only so much you guys can do through hearing all of this second hand, but I'd love some advice, reassurance, anything. I'm overwhelmed and stressed and don't have long to make this decision.
2024.05.19 01:07 Stefi-Lew Season 3- Polin Rushed Debate
This is tagged as a Spoiler, but only if you haven’t watched Season 3 Part 1 yet-
So I have seen a lot of conversation about whether or not Penelope and Colin’s relationship has felt rushed so far. Personally, I feel like the relationship this season does feel a bit awkwardly paced and I’m going to explain my reasonings.
A big argument used for why their relationship isn’t rushed is that it’s been in development for 2 seasons. I’m sorry, you mean Penelope’s unrequited love for Colin?? That’s not really development, I mean Penelope’s relationship to Colin in the beginning of season 3 is the same as it is in the beginning of season 1… unrequited, nothing has developed or changed on that end other than her overhearing his hurtful words about her. So I don’t really think their relationship being stalled at that stage for 2 seasons means that it can’t be rushed once it is being developed. In fact I rather feel it’s the opposite because when you sort of build up that anticipation around certain characters over multiple seasons, you better be able to make that payout satisfying. (Think of like HIMYM, lot of build up for a horrible last 6 episodes😂)
And those arguing- actually it just went over y’all’s head, Colin has had feelings for Penelope all along, he just didn’t realize…yeah, seemed like it when he proposed to that other girl, or told his bros he would never court her💀like yes, I get it- He sought her out, and wrote to her, and enjoyed hanging out with her, but the boy was oblivious, and I really needed more from him this season to make up for that fact.
Another thing that bugs me-
Colin has gotten a lot of credit in the show this season for helping Penelope on the Marriage Mart…like I need the writers to be so for real with me, what has Colin actually done to help Penelope draw in a suitor besides himself??💀because from my perspective, he’s done quite the opposite….
Of course another big argument people make is- “well the people complaining haven’t read the books because this is exactly how it happens” and to that I say- My criticism isn’t about whether it’s accurate to the books or not, it’s about whether the story is satisfying. So say it is exactly like the books, then I guess I’m criticizing the book too😂
Anyways, please feel free to comment your agreement or disagreement, I would love to hear other’s opinions on this topic!
submitted by Stefi-Lew to BridgertonNetflix [link] [comments]
So I have seen a lot of conversation about whether or not Penelope and Colin’s relationship has felt rushed so far. Personally, I feel like the relationship this season does feel a bit awkwardly paced and I’m going to explain my reasonings.
A big argument used for why their relationship isn’t rushed is that it’s been in development for 2 seasons. I’m sorry, you mean Penelope’s unrequited love for Colin?? That’s not really development, I mean Penelope’s relationship to Colin in the beginning of season 3 is the same as it is in the beginning of season 1… unrequited, nothing has developed or changed on that end other than her overhearing his hurtful words about her. So I don’t really think their relationship being stalled at that stage for 2 seasons means that it can’t be rushed once it is being developed. In fact I rather feel it’s the opposite because when you sort of build up that anticipation around certain characters over multiple seasons, you better be able to make that payout satisfying. (Think of like HIMYM, lot of build up for a horrible last 6 episodes😂)
And those arguing- actually it just went over y’all’s head, Colin has had feelings for Penelope all along, he just didn’t realize…yeah, seemed like it when he proposed to that other girl, or told his bros he would never court her💀like yes, I get it- He sought her out, and wrote to her, and enjoyed hanging out with her, but the boy was oblivious, and I really needed more from him this season to make up for that fact.
Another thing that bugs me-
Colin has gotten a lot of credit in the show this season for helping Penelope on the Marriage Mart…like I need the writers to be so for real with me, what has Colin actually done to help Penelope draw in a suitor besides himself??💀because from my perspective, he’s done quite the opposite….
- He criticized her behind her back to eligible bachelors and told them he would never think courting her even though she was his friend.
- His plan to “train” her by himself in his house (that she was hesitant about) caused her to be caught in scandal that the whole ton found out about
- He literally destroyed her chance with her one other potential prospect before even knowing if she actually wanted to be with him over the other guy
- Colin interrupts Penelope and Lord Debling, and Lord Debling finds out about their potential love from Cressida
- Penelope gets rejected by Lord Debling because of her potential love for Colin and she leaves the ball super upset
- Colin chases after her and ends up confessing even though she is clearly upset at him
- Penelope is all like “How dare you?! I have loved you for years, and have waited for the day that you would see me as more than just your friend, but the minute I finally resign myself to never being anything more to you, to find a lifelong companion in someone else, you ruin my chance…and for what?? I cannot be some passing fade for you like those women in your journal, like Marina…my heart could not handle it! Thank you for your help, but no thank you. I will find a husband by the end of this season and it won’t be because Colin Bridgerton took pity on me…”
- So we have a double confession, and Colin knows that Penelope has feelings for him, but he has to prove to her how series he actually is. This adds tension, he has to pine and grovel.
- And he is doing some real like public declaration of love type of stuff to try and win her over and show her how much he cares and how sorry he is for the stuff he did/said before.
- This kind of works in her favor because she actually managed to pull in a couple of new prospects because of a Bridgerton now being after her. Maybe she even writes about it as Lady Whistledown to help boost her prospects.
- Then obviously it reaches a point where she realizes he’s completely serious and devoted to her, and she doesn’t want to give him up either, and she accepts his proposal.
Of course another big argument people make is- “well the people complaining haven’t read the books because this is exactly how it happens” and to that I say- My criticism isn’t about whether it’s accurate to the books or not, it’s about whether the story is satisfying. So say it is exactly like the books, then I guess I’m criticizing the book too😂
Anyways, please feel free to comment your agreement or disagreement, I would love to hear other’s opinions on this topic!
2024.05.19 01:04 SchrodingersMinou Rabies FAQ - Please read before posting!
Before you post a question to this subreddit, please read the following points. I know, it's a lot to read, but 99% of you will get answers to your questions here. These points contain verified, accurate FACTS as verified through the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and World Health Organization (WHO).
1. Is this a bat bite?
Bat bites cannot be identified from a photo. No one, not even a doctor or a bat biologist, can identify a bat bite from a photo. If you think you might have bat bite, ask yourself: Have you seen a bat in your home? Did you sleep outdoors where a bat might have bitten you? Did you pick up a bat in your hand? If you answer no, it's HIGHLY UNLIKELY you were bitten by a bat. Again, bat bites cannot be identified from a photo.
2. Can I get rabies from interacting with an animal? Can I get rabies from touching something? What about if a drop of liquid falls on me? Can I get rabies from contaminated food or water? Can I get rabies from a person?
No. YOU CAN ONLY GET RABIES VIA DIRECT CONTACT WITH A RABID ANIMAL. This means being bitten or scratched by a rabid animal. Rabies is transmitted via the saliva of an infected animal in the late stages of the disease, when the virus is being shed in the saliva by the host animal. The rabies virus dies almost immediately once it’s outside the body. You can’t get rabies from touching something a rabid animal touched. You can’t get rabies from your pet meeting a rabid animal and then bringing it home to you. You can’t get rabies from touching roadkill. You can’t get rabies from something falling on you. You can’t get rabies from touching or kissing someone who has been vaccinated. You can’t get rabies from touching something wet. You can’t get rabies from touching any surface whatsoever, even if you have a cut on your body or you touch your eye/nose/mouth afterwards. Getting rabies from touching an animal and then touching your eye/nose/mouth is theoretically possible, but this has never happened to anyone in recorded history.
3. I found a suspicious mark on my body but I didn’t find a bat in my house. Did a bat sneak into my house and bite me without me noticing, and then sneak back out?
Bats are NOT invisible or ninjas. If you wake up in the morning with a mark on your body, it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY to be a bat bite unless you find a bat in your house. If a bat gets in your house, you will see it. They are not good at finding their way out on their own. It’s very unlikely that a sober, alert, adult human would not notice being bitten by a bat. Finding little marks on your body is not unusual and that is no reason to assume an invisible bat attacked you.
4. I saw a bat near me. Or I heard a bat. Or I saw something that might have been a bat, but it didn’t touch me. Did a bat bite me without me noticing?
Bats cannot fly past you and bite you in mid-flight. That is physically impossible. A bat must LAND on you, hold on to you with their tiny fingers, and then bite you. After biting you, they must then push off of you to take flight again. Bats can be small, but they're not invisible or imperceptible. If you would notice a big bug landing on you and biting you, then you would notice a bat doing it too. If a bat makes physical contact with you, there is a possibility that it may have scratched you, and rabies shots are recommended unless you are in a country free of bat rabies. If you find a bat in your house and you are not in a country free of bat rabies, you should catch it and submit it for rabies testing; if you can’t do that, you should get rabies shots; if you have small children, they should get rabies shots.
5. An animal touched me, licked me, or sneezed on me. Could I get rabies from this?
You cannot get rabies from a wound that doesn’t break the skin. Rabies can only get into your body through an opening in your body: a scratch or bite. If you are bitten or scratched by an animal, you should wash the area with soap and water for 5 minutes. If it does not bleed at all, you may not have broken the skin and could be in the clear. You can test this by putting alcohol on the abrasion to see if it stings.
6. Can I get rabies from an animal that has current rabies vaccinations? Can my pet get rabies if it has current rabies vaccinations?
No. You cannot get rabies from an animal that has current rabies shots. If you are bitten or scratched by someone’s pet, ask the owner for proof of rabies vaccination, like a rabies tag on the collar. Take a photo or copy of these records and call their vet to verify them. If the shots are current, you're not at risk of rabies infection. If the pet owner cannot provide this proof of vaccination, contact your animal control department or rabies management / health department to file a "Bite Report". If you are in the USA, you can find a list of those agencies here: https://www.cdc.gov/rabies/resources/contacts.html
7. Can I get rabies from my pet, or from a friend or neighbor’s pet?
You may not need to get rabies shots if you can observe the animal that attacked you for two weeks. If you are bitten or scratched by a pet that is not vaccinated for rabies, the standard protocol is to quarantine the animal in an animal shelter or veterinarian's office for 10-14 days. If you were attacked by someone else’s pet and that is not possible, you can observe the animal for 14 days. If it doesn’t get sick and/or die of rabies, then you are not at risk of rabies and do not need rabies shots. If the animal is healthy in 14 days, IT DOES NOT HAVE RABIES and neither do you. Since most animals in the late stages of rabies typically die in about 48 hours, this is a very cautious timeframe to observe.
8. Can I get rabies from a bug, bird, lizard, or frog? Can I get rabies from a possum, or a rat or mouse?
No. Only mammals (furry animals) can carry rabies. Reptiles, amphibians, insects, and birds can’t carry rabies. Bats are one of the most common rabies carriers in the US, although less than half of 1% of all bats will ever get rabies. In the USA, the next most common species are raccoons, skunks, and foxes. Outside of the USA, dogs, cats, and other animals have been known to spread the rabies virus. The least common mammals include Virginia opossums, rodents (rats and mice), rabbits or hares, and squirrels. Globally, the #1 risk of rabies is dog bites.
9. Is there a risk of rabies in my area? Can I get rabies in India, or the UK?
To learn about rabies statistics for your area, Google your state or country's name and the phrase 'current rabies statistics'. These websites will tell you how many rabid animals have been found in your area and what species. They should also tell you who to call to report a bite. Some parts of the world are rabies-free and there is no rabies or risk of rabies infection. The UK (and most of western Europe) is free of rabies in most animals except for bats, which is rare. India has a high rabies risk from dogs and other mammals, but rabies is very rare in bats in India and has only been found in bats in a couple areas in Nagaland.
10. I was vaccinated for rabies. Does that mean I am protected for life and will never need to worry about it again?
No. Previously vaccinated people still get boosters if they are re-exposed to rabies. Your rabies titer can be high for a few months or for many years, but it is assumed that you are protected for at least three months after getting your initial shots. If you are bitten by animal and it has been less than 90 days since your last shot, you don’t need to do anything. If it has been more than 90 days since your last shot, you would still need post-exposure booster shots IF you are directly exposed to an animal that could be rabid. You do not need to go through the entire series of shots again; you only need booster shots.
· For more information about rabies and rabies shots, see the CDC website here: https://www.cdc.gov/rabies/index.html
· If you are in the USA here is a link to the state and local rabies contacts. USA State & Local Rabies Contacts
11. I was vaccinated for rabies but I did not receive HRIG (Human Rabies Immunogloblin). Why? Is that OK?
HRIG is sometimes not given if there is no visible wound or if you were bitten/scratched in a location that is hard to inject. For instance, it would be hard to inject HRIG into your ear. If you have no visible wound, then there is no way to tell where HRIG should be injected. If you have more questions about this, ASK YOUR DOCTOR.
12. I got rabies shots but I have questions about the specific medical care I received. Why did the doctor give me the care I received? I’m immunocompromised; do I need extra shots? Will my medication interact with the vaccine?
Ask your doctor questions about the specific medical care you received. People on the internet cannot answer those questions. A doctor’s job is to treat patients and explain their care to them so it is OK to ask follow-up questions even after you leave the office.
13. I am in a country that is not the US, or I am traveling. Why did doctors in my country give me a different schedule of shots than the ones recommended by the CDC or the WHO? Why did doctors in two different countries tell me two different shot schedules? Will the shots work?
Yess. Rabies protocols vary by country. The CDC guidance is specific to the USA, and the WHO guidance is a recommendation for all countries. Some countries give different numbers of shots on different days. That is OK. The schedules all work as long as you stick to them and finish the series. To find more information about a country’s rabies shot schedule, google the name of the country + rabies vaccination + regimen or protocol or schedule.
14. I waited a long time before I got rabies shots. Or I drank a beer after I got vaccinated, or I took an aspirin. Or a doctor gave me tetanus shots at the same time. Will the rabies shots still work?
Yes. Rabies vaccines are 100% effective if you get them before the virus reaches your brain and symptoms start, which usually takes 3 weeks to one year. For more info about symptoms, see FAQ #17. If you have more questions about your medical treatment, ASK YOUR DOCTOR.
15. I think I have health anxiety and I can’t stop thinking about rabies all the time. How can I get help for this?
See this link. The automod can be summoned to share this information with a comment that includes the word “helpbot."
16. Someone is asking questions in the sub that I think are super dumb. Should I tell them that?
No. Please do not be rude or impatient. There is a real difference between a legitimate rabies scare and Persistent Health Anxiety (PHA), a subset of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). OCD and anxiety are real diseases that can have physical symptoms, and there are treatments for them that many people don’t know how to access. Both conditions are terrifying and life-altering, and both conditions deserve support. In this group, we support people who ask for help and we applaud them for finding the courage to do so. We will be kind, patient, respectful, and do our best to provide emotional support to anyone who seeks help here. I will be posting a separate FAQ to address the health anxiety issue. All posts and/or replies that are in any way unkind, impatient, or rude will be immediately removed and the author may be temporarily or permanently banned from this group. Be nice!!
17. I feel sick. Do I have rabies?
If you feel sick, see a doctor. You may have another disease, including anxiety, which can have physical symptoms. We cannot diagnose you over the internet. See a doctor.
The rabies virus generally has an incubation period of 3 weeks to 1 year from the date of exposure. If you believe you are experiencing symptoms before 3 weeks after exposure, that is not rabies. If you think you are experiencing symptoms more than 1 year after exposure, it is almost certainly not rabies. if you have not been exposed to a rabid animal and you believe you are experiencing rabies symptoms, you are not infected and are most likely experiencing anxiety. the prodromal stage lasts for a few days to a month and the acute neurologic stage lasts for a few days to a week; if you have symptoms that last longer than this, you do not have rabies.
Rabies symptoms only begin when the virus reaches the brain. It MUST reach the brain and produce SEVERE NEUROLOGICAL symptoms before it reaches the throat and salivary glands. This means that your sore throat is NOT caused by rabies unless you also have a severe fever, are experiencing loss of consciousness, paralysis, and seizures.
Also, rabies symptoms do not go away until death. You don't have a fever and then the fever goes away for the next symptoms. Every symptom stacks on top of the other symptoms. If you are experiencing 1 out 10 symptoms, it's NOT RABIES. Rabies is not mild. It's SEVERE in every way. If you are experiencing rabies symptoms you will need to be hospitalized within the first 8 hours of symptoms.
IT IS NOT TOO LATE TO GET VACCINATED UNTIL SYMPTOMS START, but only get vaccinated if you were attacked by a rabid animal. Waking up with a mystery scratch is not a rabies exposure.
Rabies symptoms are as follows, IN THIS ORDER:
Prodromal Stage:
• Extreme Fever
• Extreme Headache
Acute neurologic phase:
• Visual Disturbances, Hallucinations
• Delirium, Confusion
• Tremors, Seizures, Repetitive Uncontrollable Movements
• Fading In and Out of Consciousness
• Light Sensitivity, Sensitivity to Wind / Moving Air
• Partial Paralysis of Extremities, Paralysis of One or Both Legs or Arms
• Excessive Salivation, combined with the inability to swallow AT ALL, not even your own saliva which causes excessive drooling
• Inability to Swallow - NOT SORE THROAT - Inability to eat or drink, or swallow your own saliva production
• Extreme Aversion to sight or sound of water, food, or drink, AKA hydrophobia
• Coma
Without extreme medical intervention, which usually is an induced coma, these symptoms will progress to death very rapidly. Most patients who reach the point of excessive salivation and hydrophobia die within 12-24 hours without intervention.
IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THESE SYMPTOMS, CALL 911 AND GET TO A HOSPITAL IMMEDIATELY. IF YOU CAN REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE, YOU ARE NOT EXPERIENCING RABIES SYMPTOMS. PEOPLE WITH ACTIVE RABIES INFECTIONS CANNOT TYPE, TALK, OR DEBATE WHETHER OR NOT THEY ARE SICK. IF YOU CAN READ THIS AND REPLY, IT'S NOT RABIES.
submitted by SchrodingersMinou to rabies [link] [comments]
1. Is this a bat bite?
Bat bites cannot be identified from a photo. No one, not even a doctor or a bat biologist, can identify a bat bite from a photo. If you think you might have bat bite, ask yourself: Have you seen a bat in your home? Did you sleep outdoors where a bat might have bitten you? Did you pick up a bat in your hand? If you answer no, it's HIGHLY UNLIKELY you were bitten by a bat. Again, bat bites cannot be identified from a photo.
2. Can I get rabies from interacting with an animal? Can I get rabies from touching something? What about if a drop of liquid falls on me? Can I get rabies from contaminated food or water? Can I get rabies from a person?
No. YOU CAN ONLY GET RABIES VIA DIRECT CONTACT WITH A RABID ANIMAL. This means being bitten or scratched by a rabid animal. Rabies is transmitted via the saliva of an infected animal in the late stages of the disease, when the virus is being shed in the saliva by the host animal. The rabies virus dies almost immediately once it’s outside the body. You can’t get rabies from touching something a rabid animal touched. You can’t get rabies from your pet meeting a rabid animal and then bringing it home to you. You can’t get rabies from touching roadkill. You can’t get rabies from something falling on you. You can’t get rabies from touching or kissing someone who has been vaccinated. You can’t get rabies from touching something wet. You can’t get rabies from touching any surface whatsoever, even if you have a cut on your body or you touch your eye/nose/mouth afterwards. Getting rabies from touching an animal and then touching your eye/nose/mouth is theoretically possible, but this has never happened to anyone in recorded history.
3. I found a suspicious mark on my body but I didn’t find a bat in my house. Did a bat sneak into my house and bite me without me noticing, and then sneak back out?
Bats are NOT invisible or ninjas. If you wake up in the morning with a mark on your body, it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY to be a bat bite unless you find a bat in your house. If a bat gets in your house, you will see it. They are not good at finding their way out on their own. It’s very unlikely that a sober, alert, adult human would not notice being bitten by a bat. Finding little marks on your body is not unusual and that is no reason to assume an invisible bat attacked you.
4. I saw a bat near me. Or I heard a bat. Or I saw something that might have been a bat, but it didn’t touch me. Did a bat bite me without me noticing?
Bats cannot fly past you and bite you in mid-flight. That is physically impossible. A bat must LAND on you, hold on to you with their tiny fingers, and then bite you. After biting you, they must then push off of you to take flight again. Bats can be small, but they're not invisible or imperceptible. If you would notice a big bug landing on you and biting you, then you would notice a bat doing it too. If a bat makes physical contact with you, there is a possibility that it may have scratched you, and rabies shots are recommended unless you are in a country free of bat rabies. If you find a bat in your house and you are not in a country free of bat rabies, you should catch it and submit it for rabies testing; if you can’t do that, you should get rabies shots; if you have small children, they should get rabies shots.
5. An animal touched me, licked me, or sneezed on me. Could I get rabies from this?
You cannot get rabies from a wound that doesn’t break the skin. Rabies can only get into your body through an opening in your body: a scratch or bite. If you are bitten or scratched by an animal, you should wash the area with soap and water for 5 minutes. If it does not bleed at all, you may not have broken the skin and could be in the clear. You can test this by putting alcohol on the abrasion to see if it stings.
6. Can I get rabies from an animal that has current rabies vaccinations? Can my pet get rabies if it has current rabies vaccinations?
No. You cannot get rabies from an animal that has current rabies shots. If you are bitten or scratched by someone’s pet, ask the owner for proof of rabies vaccination, like a rabies tag on the collar. Take a photo or copy of these records and call their vet to verify them. If the shots are current, you're not at risk of rabies infection. If the pet owner cannot provide this proof of vaccination, contact your animal control department or rabies management / health department to file a "Bite Report". If you are in the USA, you can find a list of those agencies here: https://www.cdc.gov/rabies/resources/contacts.html
7. Can I get rabies from my pet, or from a friend or neighbor’s pet?
You may not need to get rabies shots if you can observe the animal that attacked you for two weeks. If you are bitten or scratched by a pet that is not vaccinated for rabies, the standard protocol is to quarantine the animal in an animal shelter or veterinarian's office for 10-14 days. If you were attacked by someone else’s pet and that is not possible, you can observe the animal for 14 days. If it doesn’t get sick and/or die of rabies, then you are not at risk of rabies and do not need rabies shots. If the animal is healthy in 14 days, IT DOES NOT HAVE RABIES and neither do you. Since most animals in the late stages of rabies typically die in about 48 hours, this is a very cautious timeframe to observe.
8. Can I get rabies from a bug, bird, lizard, or frog? Can I get rabies from a possum, or a rat or mouse?
No. Only mammals (furry animals) can carry rabies. Reptiles, amphibians, insects, and birds can’t carry rabies. Bats are one of the most common rabies carriers in the US, although less than half of 1% of all bats will ever get rabies. In the USA, the next most common species are raccoons, skunks, and foxes. Outside of the USA, dogs, cats, and other animals have been known to spread the rabies virus. The least common mammals include Virginia opossums, rodents (rats and mice), rabbits or hares, and squirrels. Globally, the #1 risk of rabies is dog bites.
9. Is there a risk of rabies in my area? Can I get rabies in India, or the UK?
To learn about rabies statistics for your area, Google your state or country's name and the phrase 'current rabies statistics'. These websites will tell you how many rabid animals have been found in your area and what species. They should also tell you who to call to report a bite. Some parts of the world are rabies-free and there is no rabies or risk of rabies infection. The UK (and most of western Europe) is free of rabies in most animals except for bats, which is rare. India has a high rabies risk from dogs and other mammals, but rabies is very rare in bats in India and has only been found in bats in a couple areas in Nagaland.
10. I was vaccinated for rabies. Does that mean I am protected for life and will never need to worry about it again?
No. Previously vaccinated people still get boosters if they are re-exposed to rabies. Your rabies titer can be high for a few months or for many years, but it is assumed that you are protected for at least three months after getting your initial shots. If you are bitten by animal and it has been less than 90 days since your last shot, you don’t need to do anything. If it has been more than 90 days since your last shot, you would still need post-exposure booster shots IF you are directly exposed to an animal that could be rabid. You do not need to go through the entire series of shots again; you only need booster shots.
· For more information about rabies and rabies shots, see the CDC website here: https://www.cdc.gov/rabies/index.html
· If you are in the USA here is a link to the state and local rabies contacts. USA State & Local Rabies Contacts
11. I was vaccinated for rabies but I did not receive HRIG (Human Rabies Immunogloblin). Why? Is that OK?
HRIG is sometimes not given if there is no visible wound or if you were bitten/scratched in a location that is hard to inject. For instance, it would be hard to inject HRIG into your ear. If you have no visible wound, then there is no way to tell where HRIG should be injected. If you have more questions about this, ASK YOUR DOCTOR.
12. I got rabies shots but I have questions about the specific medical care I received. Why did the doctor give me the care I received? I’m immunocompromised; do I need extra shots? Will my medication interact with the vaccine?
Ask your doctor questions about the specific medical care you received. People on the internet cannot answer those questions. A doctor’s job is to treat patients and explain their care to them so it is OK to ask follow-up questions even after you leave the office.
13. I am in a country that is not the US, or I am traveling. Why did doctors in my country give me a different schedule of shots than the ones recommended by the CDC or the WHO? Why did doctors in two different countries tell me two different shot schedules? Will the shots work?
Yess. Rabies protocols vary by country. The CDC guidance is specific to the USA, and the WHO guidance is a recommendation for all countries. Some countries give different numbers of shots on different days. That is OK. The schedules all work as long as you stick to them and finish the series. To find more information about a country’s rabies shot schedule, google the name of the country + rabies vaccination + regimen or protocol or schedule.
14. I waited a long time before I got rabies shots. Or I drank a beer after I got vaccinated, or I took an aspirin. Or a doctor gave me tetanus shots at the same time. Will the rabies shots still work?
Yes. Rabies vaccines are 100% effective if you get them before the virus reaches your brain and symptoms start, which usually takes 3 weeks to one year. For more info about symptoms, see FAQ #17. If you have more questions about your medical treatment, ASK YOUR DOCTOR.
15. I think I have health anxiety and I can’t stop thinking about rabies all the time. How can I get help for this?
See this link. The automod can be summoned to share this information with a comment that includes the word “helpbot."
16. Someone is asking questions in the sub that I think are super dumb. Should I tell them that?
No. Please do not be rude or impatient. There is a real difference between a legitimate rabies scare and Persistent Health Anxiety (PHA), a subset of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). OCD and anxiety are real diseases that can have physical symptoms, and there are treatments for them that many people don’t know how to access. Both conditions are terrifying and life-altering, and both conditions deserve support. In this group, we support people who ask for help and we applaud them for finding the courage to do so. We will be kind, patient, respectful, and do our best to provide emotional support to anyone who seeks help here. I will be posting a separate FAQ to address the health anxiety issue. All posts and/or replies that are in any way unkind, impatient, or rude will be immediately removed and the author may be temporarily or permanently banned from this group. Be nice!!
17. I feel sick. Do I have rabies?
If you feel sick, see a doctor. You may have another disease, including anxiety, which can have physical symptoms. We cannot diagnose you over the internet. See a doctor.
The rabies virus generally has an incubation period of 3 weeks to 1 year from the date of exposure. If you believe you are experiencing symptoms before 3 weeks after exposure, that is not rabies. If you think you are experiencing symptoms more than 1 year after exposure, it is almost certainly not rabies. if you have not been exposed to a rabid animal and you believe you are experiencing rabies symptoms, you are not infected and are most likely experiencing anxiety. the prodromal stage lasts for a few days to a month and the acute neurologic stage lasts for a few days to a week; if you have symptoms that last longer than this, you do not have rabies.
Rabies symptoms only begin when the virus reaches the brain. It MUST reach the brain and produce SEVERE NEUROLOGICAL symptoms before it reaches the throat and salivary glands. This means that your sore throat is NOT caused by rabies unless you also have a severe fever, are experiencing loss of consciousness, paralysis, and seizures.
Also, rabies symptoms do not go away until death. You don't have a fever and then the fever goes away for the next symptoms. Every symptom stacks on top of the other symptoms. If you are experiencing 1 out 10 symptoms, it's NOT RABIES. Rabies is not mild. It's SEVERE in every way. If you are experiencing rabies symptoms you will need to be hospitalized within the first 8 hours of symptoms.
IT IS NOT TOO LATE TO GET VACCINATED UNTIL SYMPTOMS START, but only get vaccinated if you were attacked by a rabid animal. Waking up with a mystery scratch is not a rabies exposure.
Rabies symptoms are as follows, IN THIS ORDER:
Prodromal Stage:
• Extreme Fever
• Extreme Headache
Acute neurologic phase:
• Visual Disturbances, Hallucinations
• Delirium, Confusion
• Tremors, Seizures, Repetitive Uncontrollable Movements
• Fading In and Out of Consciousness
• Light Sensitivity, Sensitivity to Wind / Moving Air
• Partial Paralysis of Extremities, Paralysis of One or Both Legs or Arms
• Excessive Salivation, combined with the inability to swallow AT ALL, not even your own saliva which causes excessive drooling
• Inability to Swallow - NOT SORE THROAT - Inability to eat or drink, or swallow your own saliva production
• Extreme Aversion to sight or sound of water, food, or drink, AKA hydrophobia
• Coma
Without extreme medical intervention, which usually is an induced coma, these symptoms will progress to death very rapidly. Most patients who reach the point of excessive salivation and hydrophobia die within 12-24 hours without intervention.
IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THESE SYMPTOMS, CALL 911 AND GET TO A HOSPITAL IMMEDIATELY. IF YOU CAN REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE, YOU ARE NOT EXPERIENCING RABIES SYMPTOMS. PEOPLE WITH ACTIVE RABIES INFECTIONS CANNOT TYPE, TALK, OR DEBATE WHETHER OR NOT THEY ARE SICK. IF YOU CAN READ THIS AND REPLY, IT'S NOT RABIES.
2024.05.19 01:02 Veinscrawler [Online][D&D 5e] [Saturday 11:00AM-3:00PM EST] or [Sunday 12:00-4:00PM EST] Ongoing Campaigns
I’m currently running two online D&D 5e campaigns set in the Forgotten Realms and could potentially use some additional players for both. There are currently 5-7 players in each campaign, and the maximum number would be 8 players.
The first campaign takes place on Saturdays from 11:00 AM to 3:00 PM EDT. This campaign has only been running for a few months and has no determined end date. It is a sandbox campaign based on content from the official 5e modules, currently set in the Sword Coast in the Savage North of Faerun, near Neverwinter. The campaign uses XP advancement. The existing characters are currently level 1, and new characters would also start at level 1. The party is currently exploring a dungeon to look for some missing adventurers, but have gotten themselves captured by goblins and are now trying to break out of prison.
The second campaign takes place on Sundays from 12:00 PM to 4:00 PM EDT. This campaign has been running for four years and is planned to end sometime in the next few months, or by the end of the year at the latest. It is a storyline campaign based on content from the second season of Adventurer’s League, currently set around the city of Mulmaster in the Moonsea. The campaign uses milestone advancement. The existing characters are currently level 7, and new characters would start at level 7. The party is currently investigating cult activity at a remote monastery, trying to stop a dangerous ritual connected to a massive storm, and searching for a kidnapped wizard who is the twin brother of one character and the lover of another character.
Both campaigns use D&D Beyond for character sheets, Discord for voice chat, and MapTool for battle maps and grid-based exploration. The Sword Coast campaign also uses MapTool for dice rolls, while the Moonsea campaign uses Discord for dice rolls.
Both campaigns also use significant house rules, including but not limited to: - Exhaustion at 0 hp - Lingering injuries - Massive damage system shock - Healer’s kit usage for short rests - Slow natural healing for long rests - Advantage for flanking - Items degrading and breaking - Exhaustion from not eating daily - Variant encumbrance - Differing rules for Small and Medium characters - A more complicated knockout system - Advantage and disadvantage cancelling out on a one to one basis
Anyone who is interested can post here or DM me. There is limited availability, so the first to ask get priority.
(Also, just adding that I’m queer and transgender, one of the players in both campaigns is my bisexual husband, and a few of the other players are also queer and/or trans. Bigots need not apply. Fellow transqueers welcome.)
submitted by Veinscrawler to lfg [link] [comments]
The first campaign takes place on Saturdays from 11:00 AM to 3:00 PM EDT. This campaign has only been running for a few months and has no determined end date. It is a sandbox campaign based on content from the official 5e modules, currently set in the Sword Coast in the Savage North of Faerun, near Neverwinter. The campaign uses XP advancement. The existing characters are currently level 1, and new characters would also start at level 1. The party is currently exploring a dungeon to look for some missing adventurers, but have gotten themselves captured by goblins and are now trying to break out of prison.
The second campaign takes place on Sundays from 12:00 PM to 4:00 PM EDT. This campaign has been running for four years and is planned to end sometime in the next few months, or by the end of the year at the latest. It is a storyline campaign based on content from the second season of Adventurer’s League, currently set around the city of Mulmaster in the Moonsea. The campaign uses milestone advancement. The existing characters are currently level 7, and new characters would start at level 7. The party is currently investigating cult activity at a remote monastery, trying to stop a dangerous ritual connected to a massive storm, and searching for a kidnapped wizard who is the twin brother of one character and the lover of another character.
Both campaigns use D&D Beyond for character sheets, Discord for voice chat, and MapTool for battle maps and grid-based exploration. The Sword Coast campaign also uses MapTool for dice rolls, while the Moonsea campaign uses Discord for dice rolls.
Both campaigns also use significant house rules, including but not limited to: - Exhaustion at 0 hp - Lingering injuries - Massive damage system shock - Healer’s kit usage for short rests - Slow natural healing for long rests - Advantage for flanking - Items degrading and breaking - Exhaustion from not eating daily - Variant encumbrance - Differing rules for Small and Medium characters - A more complicated knockout system - Advantage and disadvantage cancelling out on a one to one basis
Anyone who is interested can post here or DM me. There is limited availability, so the first to ask get priority.
(Also, just adding that I’m queer and transgender, one of the players in both campaigns is my bisexual husband, and a few of the other players are also queer and/or trans. Bigots need not apply. Fellow transqueers welcome.)
2024.05.19 01:02 MerfyMcMerf Supporting a partner with Prediabetes
My girlfriend was recently diagnosed pre diabetic and has been taking the news really really hard. She is in her 50s and has been very fit and healthy her whole life. She hasn’t seen her doctor since the message with the diagnosis and hasn’t seen a dietitian yet but has been making broad claims like she’s going to completely stop eating sugar and drinking alcohol. I am recovered from a restrictive eating disorder and have also been in an abusive relationship where my partner was controlling over the food I ate. I told her very clearly that I support her changing her lifestyle and eating habits but that I am not ok with having rules like “no sugar in the house” or anything that is going to demonize certain foods or force me to adopt her diet. We don’t currently live together but have planned on me moving in with her in a few months when my current lease is up. After we had this talk she talked with some of her coworkers who told her that I’m a bad partner if I’m not willing to basically go on the same diet as her and eliminate sugar completely “in solidarity”
I just want to know how other people are navigating this type of conflict. Is it reasonable for a pre diabetic person to expect everyone in their household to follow their diet? Is it reasonable to have sugar or any foods the pre diabetic person is trying avoid to be hidden from sight? She has been very daunted by the idea that it’s “up to my willpower” to not eat the “bad” foods. But what she’s asking me to do is in direct conflict with what I need to maintain my recovery.
submitted by MerfyMcMerf to prediabetes [link] [comments]
I just want to know how other people are navigating this type of conflict. Is it reasonable for a pre diabetic person to expect everyone in their household to follow their diet? Is it reasonable to have sugar or any foods the pre diabetic person is trying avoid to be hidden from sight? She has been very daunted by the idea that it’s “up to my willpower” to not eat the “bad” foods. But what she’s asking me to do is in direct conflict with what I need to maintain my recovery.
2024.05.19 01:02 _aruysa_ Contemplating attending sister’s graduation, worried about nparent.
Hi there,
I’ve been quietly reading on this sub for about a month now, thinking about posting. Finally have a good reason to, I think.
Backstory: I’m 24F. I’m the oldest child - my sister is 18 and my brother is 10. I can’t remember ever having liked my ndad, and we “butted heads” a lot when I was growing up, increasingly about me wanting independence especially when he would promise to do something (that I felt I could do myself) and wouldn’t come back to it for a long time. He wanted control. He was always sensitive about lying. When I was starting my senior year of high school (good grades, committed to extracurriculars, aiming for top schools like Harvard, Stanford, John’s Hopkins), he found out that I was experimenting with drugs and lost it. He went through all my texts, found out I’m queer, saw all the bad stuff I wrote about him, and decided he can’t trust me anymore. He strip searched me, sent me to a psychoanalyst that he wouldn’t listen to anyway, took away a lot of my belongings, set up surveillance cameras around the house, moved me to his office and put a lock on the door and window. A mattress and a notebook to write in. Months of interrogations followed. I was not allowed to close the bathroom door, and later, I was allowed to close, but not lock it. No phone, no seeing friends. I wasn’t allowed to be alone for months. Or to go upstairs. Listen to music. It was real bad. He told me he wanted to break me down and rebuild who I am from scratch… my mom was devastated and was on his side, despite having previously stood up for me now and then.
I was able to apply to my state school ONLY and got in. The deal was that they would pay for it basically and I would help with the family. I was never allowed to have a job, despite wanting to work since high school. The first year of college my mom drove me. They didn’t trust me to take the bus. Partway through the second year, I found the resources at the college to put together a backup plan in case I needed to leave. It did come to a point (ndad found out about it bc I was carrying around a business card in the waistband of my underwear and dropped it in the bathroom one day) and I decided to leave.
I was allowed to leave with the clothes on my back - no shoes, no coat, nothing else except some documents. And even then he didn’t give me my passports (foreign), saying they don’t exist when I named the document (likely I used the name they used, and not the official document name). Had to sign a handwritten paper that said I refuse their help.
Friends helped me get back on my feet and I’m surrounded with loving people now.
The period of severe abuse lasted 2 years and 5 months. I saw a couple friends a couple times throughout. More details take too long to write.
Since then (4 yrs 3 months), I’ve not seen my immediate family. I call my mom more frequently now, that relationship is stable, but she won’t share information with me. I can talk to her about my life. Have only been able to talk to my sister 2 times over the phone - her last 2 birthdays. Talking to dad never ends well. Last time I tried to call and talk to my sister he wouldn’t let me.
I found out what school she goes to and found out when her graduation is by the powers of the internet. I want to go - to see her and show up for her. I’m debating if I want her to see me or not. And I’m worried about running into ndad. I had a stress dream about it last night. I’m both scared that she won’t want to see me and I’m scared of making things bad for her. To the extent of my knowledge, she may be going out of state for school (know that through a family friend). We were rather different kids growing up and idk how she feels.
Should I go incognito? Or call attention to myself?
(Also wanna write a memoir one day if I ever get the time.)
submitted by _aruysa_ to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
I’ve been quietly reading on this sub for about a month now, thinking about posting. Finally have a good reason to, I think.
Backstory: I’m 24F. I’m the oldest child - my sister is 18 and my brother is 10. I can’t remember ever having liked my ndad, and we “butted heads” a lot when I was growing up, increasingly about me wanting independence especially when he would promise to do something (that I felt I could do myself) and wouldn’t come back to it for a long time. He wanted control. He was always sensitive about lying. When I was starting my senior year of high school (good grades, committed to extracurriculars, aiming for top schools like Harvard, Stanford, John’s Hopkins), he found out that I was experimenting with drugs and lost it. He went through all my texts, found out I’m queer, saw all the bad stuff I wrote about him, and decided he can’t trust me anymore. He strip searched me, sent me to a psychoanalyst that he wouldn’t listen to anyway, took away a lot of my belongings, set up surveillance cameras around the house, moved me to his office and put a lock on the door and window. A mattress and a notebook to write in. Months of interrogations followed. I was not allowed to close the bathroom door, and later, I was allowed to close, but not lock it. No phone, no seeing friends. I wasn’t allowed to be alone for months. Or to go upstairs. Listen to music. It was real bad. He told me he wanted to break me down and rebuild who I am from scratch… my mom was devastated and was on his side, despite having previously stood up for me now and then.
I was able to apply to my state school ONLY and got in. The deal was that they would pay for it basically and I would help with the family. I was never allowed to have a job, despite wanting to work since high school. The first year of college my mom drove me. They didn’t trust me to take the bus. Partway through the second year, I found the resources at the college to put together a backup plan in case I needed to leave. It did come to a point (ndad found out about it bc I was carrying around a business card in the waistband of my underwear and dropped it in the bathroom one day) and I decided to leave.
I was allowed to leave with the clothes on my back - no shoes, no coat, nothing else except some documents. And even then he didn’t give me my passports (foreign), saying they don’t exist when I named the document (likely I used the name they used, and not the official document name). Had to sign a handwritten paper that said I refuse their help.
Friends helped me get back on my feet and I’m surrounded with loving people now.
The period of severe abuse lasted 2 years and 5 months. I saw a couple friends a couple times throughout. More details take too long to write.
Since then (4 yrs 3 months), I’ve not seen my immediate family. I call my mom more frequently now, that relationship is stable, but she won’t share information with me. I can talk to her about my life. Have only been able to talk to my sister 2 times over the phone - her last 2 birthdays. Talking to dad never ends well. Last time I tried to call and talk to my sister he wouldn’t let me.
I found out what school she goes to and found out when her graduation is by the powers of the internet. I want to go - to see her and show up for her. I’m debating if I want her to see me or not. And I’m worried about running into ndad. I had a stress dream about it last night. I’m both scared that she won’t want to see me and I’m scared of making things bad for her. To the extent of my knowledge, she may be going out of state for school (know that through a family friend). We were rather different kids growing up and idk how she feels.
Should I go incognito? Or call attention to myself?
(Also wanna write a memoir one day if I ever get the time.)
2024.05.19 01:00 FluffyWasabi1629 I'm scared Trump will win & I'll have to leave my home 🥺
I will be voting for Biden, but I can't tell for sure who will win. I'm 20 and living with my parents. I don't have my own place yet. My sibling is graduating high school really soon, so we will both be able to leave the country if we need to. Me and my sibling are both nonbinary and have openly identified that way for multiple years. I know the US is really shitty, but where my (parents) house is is beautiful, and the community in the city closest to us is so open minded and creative. I know where everything is, I know the culture, I know what the rules are, we have some nice small businesses I like to go to occasionally, I live close to my first cousins, my parents agreed to give me a small parcel of their land for me to build a tiny house on, I like the weather. I like these things about my home, but I'm terrified I'll have to leave it!
I hope my parents would come with us but I don't know for sure. My plan is that if Trump wins, I will drive me and my sibling to the Canadian border and seek asylum, or stay with my further removed cousins who live in Canada. But I really hope I don't have to. I have a life planned out for myself here. I really don't like Biden either, but at least I won't have to flee the country for my life if he gets reelected. It's so hard that it's come to this. 😭 When I was a kid I never expected anything like this to happen. How can people be so cruel? 😔
submitted by FluffyWasabi1629 to Queerdefensefront [link] [comments]
I hope my parents would come with us but I don't know for sure. My plan is that if Trump wins, I will drive me and my sibling to the Canadian border and seek asylum, or stay with my further removed cousins who live in Canada. But I really hope I don't have to. I have a life planned out for myself here. I really don't like Biden either, but at least I won't have to flee the country for my life if he gets reelected. It's so hard that it's come to this. 😭 When I was a kid I never expected anything like this to happen. How can people be so cruel? 😔
2024.05.19 00:59 GoAheadMMDay UPDATE 3: Torment Techniques Used by Canadian and US Militaries
 | Update #3 appears at the bottom. submitted by GoAheadMMDay to Liberty [link] [comments] Due to numerous disparaging comments by multiple individuals, I have reposted my article. Heckling does not change what occurred. People need to know these truths, especially those who have experienced the same. They need to know they are sane, that such things are indeed being perpetrated, and the perpetrators use shame to silence them and protect their activities. I write to encourage them not to listen to disparaging people who speak without knowledge. February 10, 2024 I am Joseph Cafariello, a Canadian citizen and ex-member of the Canadian military. Of sound mind, not on medication, not a drug user, not a marijuana smoker, not an alcohol drinker, with no mental disorders. I recently posted to this Liberty subreddit experiences of harassment by the Vancouver police and fire departments (Vancouver, BC, Canada). I’m the fellow who was repeatedly ordered by police to stay out of Vancouver’s Stanley Park, and was continually harassed whenever I visited the park (which I do every second day on my early morning walks). I'm happy to say their following me reduced to almost nothing immediately upon posting those experiences here, and people no longer exit their cars to stand on the path as I walk by (which I described in that post). They were either informed of my post or found it themselves, seeing as my internet activity, and phone activity for that matter, are under continuous surveillance (plenty of proof which I will not include here to avoid running off-topic). In this post, I would like to shed some light on other harassment which is still ongoing, since it occurs in private, away from potential observers. It involves the Canadian and US militaries. Havana Syndrome In 2016, numerous employees of the Canadian and US embassies in Havana, Cuba, started experiencing head injuries ranging from mild headaches to concussions. It happened in their sleep, and came to be called Havana Syndrome. Wikipedia explains (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Havana\_syndrome): “Havana syndrome is a cluster of idiopathic symptoms experienced mostly abroad by U.S. government officials and military personnel. The symptoms range in severity from pain and ringing in the ears to cognitive dysfunction and were first reported in 2016 by U.S. and Canadian embassy staff in Havana, Cuba. Beginning in 2017, more people, including U.S. intelligence and military personnel and their families, reported having these symptoms in other places, such as China, India, Europe, and Washington, D.C. The U.S. Department of State, Department of Defense, and other federal entities have called the events "Anomalous Health Incidents" (AHI). Of over a thousand purported cases, the majority of US investigative bodies found only a few dozen cases to be suspicious.” Ladies and gentlemen, I can tell you exactly what happens, because I have been experiencing this since I first joined the Canadian military back in 2002, and am still experiencing these “torments” (as I call them) to this day, already 3 years after leaving the military. I go to bed. In about 15 minutes, just as I am on the cusp of falling asleep, a hear and feel a heavy thud reverberate and ultimately strike my skull. My body releases a sharp burst of adrenalin, my heart starts racing, and my blood’s circulation speeds up significantly. Depending on the severity of the blow, it can take me anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour to fall asleep again. Though there have been times I could not return to sleep for more than 2 hours. A strong headache is felt immediately, and lasts for hours. There have been times when my heart felt like it was going to burst, having been startled as such. The pulse to the head sometimes reverberates through the wall and my bed’s headboard. I distinctly feel as though I have been hit on the top of my skull. At other times, it feels as though the pulse has come through the air, striking the side of my skull. This is not a sleep disorder, for it does not occur regularly. At times, my sleep is disturbed in this manner 3 or 4 days in a row. At other times, there is no disturbance for up to a week. But they never let me go more than a week without such interruptions to my sleep. Neither is it sleep apnea, as I do not awaken gasping for breath. The pounding headaches, sudden release of adrenaline, and heart palpitations I experience are caused by external impacts of sound waves or air bursts. Sonic Weapons How these pulses are produced is not easy to identify. As Wikipedia explains: “Once the story became public, various U.S. government representatives attributed the incidents to attacks by unidentified foreign actors, and various U.S. officials blamed the reported symptoms on a variety of unidentified and unknown technologies, including ultrasound and microwave weapons.” Sonic weapons have been in use for many years by militaries, and by police in crowd control. As Wikipedia explains (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonic\_weapon): “Some sonic weapons make a focused beam of sound or of ultrasound; others produce an area field of sound. As of 2023 military and police forces make some limited use of sonic weapons.” (Do not believe the 2023 timeline. The Canadian military has been using these weapons since the early 2000’s at the latest.) Wikipedia continues: “Extremely high-power sound waves can disrupt or destroy the eardrums of a target and cause severe pain or disorientation. This is usually sufficient to incapacitate a person. Less powerful sound waves can cause humans to experience nausea or discomfort.” The users of these technologies must also be using thermal detection equipment to monitor the target’s sleep. As I mentioned, I most often feel these blows the moment I am falling asleep. Body temperature drops when we sleep, and brain activity slows. Heat-detection equipment is likely being used to identify the point at which the target is falling asleep. Why they prefer to strike at the start of someone’s sleep as opposed to the middle of their sleep, I do not know. Perhaps their intent is to deprive the body of early sleep, limiting the amount of deep sleep available to the person before their alarm rings in the morning. Ordinary Hammers Not all such “torments” (as I call them) are caused by high-tech equipment. I have heard and felt distinct hammer strikes running along the 2x4 beams inside my walls. These strikes can be a single hard strike, or several strikes in a row. It is definitely caused by a person with a hammer because the intervals between strikes are equidistant in time; that is, the time spacing between strikes is not random and does not change from strike to strike, but is constant between strikes, exactly as when someone is hammering. And no, it is not someone hanging pictures at 1:30 am, multiple times a week, for years. On one occasion, when I was standing at my kitchen sink, I felt the floor-board directly under my feet pulse so sharply it felt like a brick had struck the soles of my feet. In this case, my military neighbour likely used a hammer to strike the floorboard on his side of the wall. It is the only plausible explanation. Surveillance This leads to surveillance of one’s activities at home. I have plenty of proofs of that. They seem insignificant on an individual basis. But when you put them all together, they present a clear picture of home surveillance. My laptop computer’s lid cracked one night, at the bottom left corner of the screen. The next day at work, I heard my military supervisor relate to another co-worker that the night before, his laptop computer’s lid cracked at the bottom left corner. I swear to the Lord in Heaven, I am being truthful. I tested my suspicion of being surveilled. At home one night, I blurted out-loud, “VW Passat. What an ugly sounding word, ‘Passat’”, I said. A few days later, my military colleagues at work started playing a card game at lunch, invented by one of them. The name he gave his game was “Passat”, and when he spoke it, he looked at me for a reaction. If you ever contact the Halifax military base, ask for the Claims Department and ask them if they are still playing Passat. On another occasion, at a time when I frequented the gym every second day for a few years, I suspected my van had been fitted with a listening device. I suspected so because a number of things I had spoken with people about on my phone while in my van (nothing illegal) were repeated by people at the gym in conversations among themselves. Too many times, parts of other people's conversations matched parts of conversations I had had with others while I was in my van. I already knew my phone was being tapped, but I also suspected my van was bugged. So one evening while driving in my van, I blurted out-loud a number of things I said I hated. "I hate (this or that)"; "I hate it when...". One of them was, "I hate when people chew gum with their mouths open." I then vocalized an exaggerated gnawing sound, "Gnaw. Gnaw. Gnaw." The very next time I went to the gym, 2 days later, while I was at an exercise, a fellow sat at an exercise directly behind me. And sure enough, he started chewing with his mouth open, vocalizing that gnawing sound, "Gnaw. Gnaw. Gnaw." I didn't look behind at him, because I knew what was going on, and I wanted to avoid playing into his hand. So he repeated himself again and again until I was done and moved to a different station. Now, honestly, who chews gum at the gym? You can't. Or you run the risk of choking for the heavy breathing, not to mention when laying down on benches. And with precisely the same exaggerated vocalized gnawing sound I had made in my van just 2 days prior. Their whole intent is to let you know you are being surveilled. They want you to know, as both a warning and a provocation. They want you to say something, to launch accusations, which they would readily deny, making you look paranoid. If you react too strongly, they could even have you diagnosed with some kind of disorder, and put you on medication, which further plays into their hand. (More regarding medications in the last section of this post.) This is why, as I mentioned in my previous post, they would park their cars shining their high beams on me as I walked past them during my morning walk. And why on some occasions, a group of 3 or 4 would exit their cars and stand on my path just as I approached, forcing me to go around them. They would then remain standing on the path until my return trip through, and after I had passed by the second time, then would then return to their cars - making it absolutely clear I was their interest. Their intent is not only to make me aware, but also to present themselves in close proximity to me, within easy reach, in the hope I would confront them, resulting in an altercation that could land me in a lot of hot water - 4 witnesses against me, all pleading innocence. Again, it is all designed to make you look bad, and to warrant some kind of legal measure against you - preferably a medical diagnosis, discrediting you in everything you say about them. If they can't refute your claims, their only remaining option is to discredit you. That's what all of these tricks are designed to accomplish. Who would believe anything you say, once you have been diagnosed with a disorder? There are plenty more examples. But who would really believe them? I’ll save them for the future. Home Invasion Both during and after my military service, I have had my apartments entered without any signs of break-ins. How? Lock-picking and duplicate keys. Indications? Missing objects; ie: money, phone adaptor, etc. Nothing major. Just something to make us understand we are being watched, and to make us understand what they can do. But it is always something small, something for which you would be ridiculed for divulging. Two more examples: I found my razor, which I always lay-down razor-end to the wall, turned around, razor-end toward me. Also, in one of my house slippers I found a small shoe sticker on the up-side of the heel. I had those slipper for years, and never had any shoe stickers on them. Yet there it was, clearly visible on the top surface of my slipper, not the bottom. Could I have stepped on a shoe sticker when barefoot in my apartment, only to have the sticker transfer itself to my slipper when I wore it? How many shoe stickers do you have laying around your apartment that you can accidentally step onto? If I had stepped onto a sticker in my apartment and had it stick to my heel, that means the sticky side was up against my skin. This means the sticker would have had to flip upside down such that the sticky side would then be down, allowing the sticker to stick to the slipper. Do you really think that happened? That sticker was not there when I left my apartment, but it was there when I returned. And it was the wrong sticker, wrong brand, wrong size. Again, what is their intent? To make someone look ridiculous so no one will believe them should they speak of other more sensitive things. Staged Incidents The above incidents clearly point to coordinated and staged events (at my work, my home, on my walks, etc). This is so frequently met with incredulity. "But that would require coordination on the part of so many people," the public dismisses. "They wouldn't do that." Oh yes they would, and they have, as explained in https://fightgangstalking.com/. Note the documented cases involving the Canadian Security Intelligence Service (CSIS, Canada's equivalent to the US' CIA) and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP, Canada's national police force) in the second quote, which were reported in national newspapers. From https://fightgangstalking.com/: “Disruption operations often involve tactics which are illegal, but difficult to prove. These tactics include – but are not limited to – overt surveillance (stalking), slander, blacklisting, “mobbing” (intense, organized harassment in the workplace), “black bag jobs” [home invasions], abusive phone calls, computer hacking, framing, threats, blackmail, vandalism, “street theater” (staged physical and verbal interactions with minions of the people who orchestrate the stalking), harassment by noises, and other forms of bullying. Many of these tactics were used by the FBI during its illegal COINTELPRO operations, as documented by stolen official documents and subsequent Congressional investigations. "Although the general public is mostly unfamiliar with the practice, references to “disruption” operations – described as such – do occasionally appear in the news media, even though that fact would apparently be news to the editors of The New York Times. In May 2006, for example, an article in The Globe and Mail, a Canadian national newspaper, reported that the Canadian Security Intelligence Service (CSIS) and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) used “Diffuse and Disrupt” tactics against suspects for whom they lacked sufficient evidence to prosecute. A criminal defense attorney stated that many of her clients complained of harassment by authorities, although they were never arrested." She can add me to that list too. For the Benefit of Others The experiences I have recounted here seem so trivial, so insignificant, they make you look ridiculous if you talk about them. But if we don’t talk about such things, no one will ever know about them. Other people have experienced the same, and are forced to endure such torments in silence. They need encouragement to talk about their own experiences, and so I write about mine in the hope they will talk about theirs, even if I do look ridiculous. The perpetrators are more ridiculous for doing them. I remember a military colleague being hauled away by military police one morning, as she was struggling and having a violent fit. A fellow on her floor told me she was throwing chairs at her walls screaming, “Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!”. When he mentioned that, I knew exactly what they had done to her. She was considered unruly, and was being watched intently. They wanted her out, and that is how they accomplished it. Through wall tapping and sleep deprivation, they push you to the breaking point. And when you finally lose control and do something rash, they pounce on you, and you’re out. Now she has a criminal record, considered a criminal when in reality she was a victim. Welcome to the Canadian military, and other militaries besides, I am sure. There are dozens upon dozens of experiences I could present. But who will really read them? Worse still, who will really believe them? I overheard my military supervisor in Halifax whisper to another, “Do you think he knows?”, after I had mentioned one of the many “coincidences” I experienced, but with a tone of my being aware it was not a mere coincidence. As I turned my face to my computer screen, I whispered under my breath, but still loud enough for him to hear, “Yes, (rank) (name), I know.” A few minutes later, as he walked past my desk, he leaned in by my ear and whispered, “We’re just trying to help you.” I should have pressed him for answers right then and there, but you just don’t know how much trouble you can get into when making such accusations in the military. So I let it go. But I will never forget. Should anyone reading this ever decide to launch some kind of inquiry, I can mention names of over 100 people to contact, including military personnel, family members, neighbours, building managers, and others who have been contacted by military personnel with false narratives about me. They flash their ID’s and other credentials, and people believe anything they say. They turn family, friends, co-workers and neighbours against you, even recruiting their participation. Your acquaintances not only participate, but actually feel justified and emboldened playing tricks on you. It isn't their fault, though; they have been misled. I would reference them solely for corroboration. As a final thought, here are explanations of two military programs in which certain persons (sometimes military, sometimes civilian) are kept under constant surveillance, and are in some cases subjected to conditioning in an attempt to turn them into what is called a “sleeper agent”. Almost all of the tactics presented below have been experience by me, including constant surveillance (ie: my previous post here regarding being harassed on my morning walks) and sleep deprivation (as per the top portion of this post, which other military members in Cuba and elsewhere around the world have also experienced). Pentagon’s Signature Reduction Program See Newsweek’s article: https://www.newsweek.com/exclusive-inside-militarys-secret-undercover-army-1591881 Some excerpts from that Newsweek article, plus more background information on the Pentagon’s Signature Reduction Program, can be found here: https://fightgangstalking.com/ “The largest undercover force the world has ever known is the one created by the Pentagon over the past decade. Some 60,000 people now belong to this secret army, many working under masked identities and in low profile, all part of a broad program called “signature reduction.” The force, more than ten times the size of the clandestine elements of the CIA, carries out domestic and foreign assignments, both in military uniforms and under civilian cover, in real life and online, sometimes hiding in private businesses and consultancies, some of them household name companies. “…a little-known sector of the American military, but also a completely unregulated practice. No one knows the program’s total size, and the explosion of signature reduction has never been examined for its impact on military policies and culture. Congress has never held a hearing on the subject. And yet the military developing this gigantic clandestine force challenges U.S. laws, the Geneva Conventions, the code of military conduct and basic accountability. “…The signature reduction effort engages some 130 private companies to administer the new clandestine world. Dozens of little known and secret government organizations support the program, doling out classified contracts and overseeing publicly unacknowledged operations. "Federal spy agencies are using Americans to spy on their fellow citizens – the same approach to governance famously employed by communist East Germany." How to Develop a Hypnotic Sleeper Agent By Dantalion Jones / Masters of Mind Control The following “was” on the web, but has been removed. Surprise, surprise. But I saved its web files to my computer years ago, knowing that sooner or later it would be removed. I made a jpeg image of the web page as it once appeared, attached here. Note that I have experienced almost all of the tactics described below, including the stalking I mentioned in my previous post here (regular walks in the park), the sleep deprivation noted at the top of this post, and the surveillance and intrusions described here as well. Quoting the now-removed webpage: “How to Develop a Hypnotic Sleeper Agent” (from here to end of post): Amid all the conspiracy theories one of the most feared is that there exist "sleeper agents" in our society who are programmed to come into service when they are triggered by a phone call or key word. These alleged sleeper agents don't even know they are programmed to become saboteurs, soldiers, suicide bomber, etc because of the thoroughness of their programming. They are the feared "Manchurian Candidate" that the movies portray. The question is "Are they real?" If they are true sleeper agents there is no way of telling until they are activated. One can however theorize exactly how they are made. Indoctrination Using indoctrination a person can be made to embrace a religious or philosophical belief that would make becoming a sleeper agent possible. This would be a person so committed to an ideal they would be willing to wait patiently as a member of society until they are called into action. These people would know their mission and consciously hold it secret while interacting with the rest of society. Conditioning Conditioning is a repetitive process where the desired responses are enforced and rewarded and unwanted responses are punished. This can be done consciously as part of training drill and it can be done subconsciously using hypnosis or drugs to create amnesia. Hypnosis It has been demonstrated that hypnosis can create "amnesia walls" in which the subject has no conscious memory of what happened in the hypnosis session. It has further been demonstrated that hypnosis can give post hypnotic instruction to be carried out automatically in the waking state without the subject knowing it or questioning the behavior. What follows is conjecture and theory based on testimonials of people who were alleged to be sleeper agents and soldiers. Continuous Supervisions Continuous supervision doesn't mean that the subject is cut off completely from society. It means that they are constantly overseen and every aspect of their lives are managed (without their knowledge or consent) to support their hypnotic programming. This would include: • Repeated reinforcement of all hypnotic conditioning. • Handlers. Handlers are people who help maintain the subjects environment to maintain all the programming. They can play the role of family, friends, lovers, psychologists, coaches or any roll the subject perceives as supportive. The truth is the handlers are their to support the successful fulfillment of the programming and not the subject as a person. • Minimal sleep so that the mind/brain does not process all the sleeper conditioning during sleep. • Creating constant environmental challenges like unemployment or poverty. This gives the subject something other than their programming to focus on. • Frequent hospitalization. This gives overt opportunity to sedate the subject for conditioning. If the subject has a history of hospitalizations for mental disturbances all the better. No one will take them seriously. Joseph Cafariello PS... Today is the second day after this post (February 12, 2024). A garbage truck just slammed into my parked car. PPS... I finish writing this post because I am satisfied with its shape and content; not because of what happened to my car. It is similar to when you are reaching for your coat, and someone tells you, "Take your coat." Since you have to take your coat, your brain tells you it's ok to obey them, and you comply. They just created an instance where they led you, and you followed them. And your brain accepted it. It's a technique the military uses all the time. It trains you to accept instructions from that person or group. Done enough times, you become comfortable obeying them. I just say, "I take my coat because I choose to, not because you tell me to." It's important to make that clear, to block the conditioning and affirm our self-governance; not just to them, but to ourselves as well. Now our brain realizes we took our coat by our own choice; we are still in command. So too, I say regarding today's event. "Thanks for the warning, but I had already finished writing my post. I finished by my own choosing." UPDATES 1 & 2: February 26 & March 07, 2024: My apartment was once again entered while I was out. Either a key was used or the lock was picked. This may or may not have included assistance from building staff. Home invasions are included in the list of their techniques noted above, referred to as "black bag jobs". All tenants on my floor received new fridges a couple of weeks ago. I removed the tape securing the bins inside my new fridge, and also removed all styrofoam pads from the corners of the glass shelves when I repositioned them. The person(s) who have been invading my living space on a regular basis have struck again. As you can see in the photo below, the styrofoam pads on the corners of my fridge's shelves were restored when I was out of my apartment. I had removed all pads when I repositioned the shelves. Yet now they are back. It is a tactic used to undermine our observational awareness in an attempt to make us second-guess and doubt ourselves. The aim is to cause people to feel less sure not only of the things we have done, but also feel less sure of the things others have done. They want us to question the accuracy of our observations and memory. The idea is to train you to dismiss any anomalies you may observe as being your own misperception of things. Once they convince you not to trust your own judgement, they are free to do whatever they want to you, and you will simply accept it without questioning. UPDATE 3: May 18, 2024: Confrontations with individuals keep occurring, at times potentially violent. Following are just 3 such encounters as of late. 1 - Kick-boxer in the park: As I parked my car in one of the parking lots in Vancouver's Stanley Park one night, another vehicle drove up behind me and parked several spots away. A tall man exited that vehicle, and walked hastily along the path I always walk, down some steps to the water's sea wall path. I took my time and followed my usual walk, also down the steps down to the sea wall. The man knew my routine, and was in a hurry to get ahead of me. As I walked along the sea wall, I saw the same man sitting on a bench, playing a loud Persian-sounding religious sermon on some device I did not clearly see. As I walked past him, he called out to me to stop and chat. I ignored him and continued walking past him. He rose and started walking behind me. I opened my umbrella, turned, and walked past him the other way, returning to the stairs back to the parking lot. He also turned and continued following me. I started running. He also started running. I ran up the steps, as did he. Being taller than I am, his legs are longer than mine, and he quickly caught up to me on a grassy patch at the top of the steps. I turned to him and asked, "Why are you following me?" He did not reply, but stood profile to me, the same stance a kick-boxer uses when ready to kick someone. He was tall, thin, and in excellent physical shape as you would see in a kick-boxer. He did not speak at all, but was just waiting for me to make a move. I turned, entered my vehicle and left. The encounter continued with a chase through the park in our cars. Yes, that is correct. He chased me out of the park in his car. 2 - Told to keep quiet: The perpetrators need to operate with as little detection as possible, and they repeatedly warn their subjects to keep their mouths shut about their experiences. On another of my recent nightly walks, a man stood on the sidewalk ahead of me about half a block away, looked at me, and shouted into the sky at nobody, giving the appearance of being a homeless person shouting for no reason. He then started walking in my direction. I continued walking straight. As he passed me, he leaned into my face and shouted into my ear, "Shut the f_ck up!" I continued walking in my direction, and he resumed walking in his. The idea is to make it seem as though he is just a deranged man wandering the streets at night, shouting at nothing, so that when he shouts at me, any observer would simply dismiss his actions. But in reality, he was sent to send me a message to stop publishing posts like this, which I had done many times on many sites, and continue to. They don't like it when we reveal their methods. But the truth must be known. 3 - You'll be sorry: On another occassion, while returning from grocery shopping one afternoon, I walked past a man sitting by a storefront. He was clean-cut, wearing clean clothes, without any carts or wagons or any belongings of any kind. As I past him, he asked me for some spare change. I replied, "I'm sorry," and continued walking past. He replied, "You will be." There are multiple other experience, like two seemingly unassociated men standing on the sea wall about 100 meters away from each other, each of them spitting just as I walked past each of them. There are too many experiences to mention. Looking at each experience individually, one would easily dismiss them as being unrelated and simply coincidental. But put them all together and a picture starts to form, like putting together the pieces of a puzzle. As I hand you each piece of the puzzle one by one, you dismiss each piece, saying, "This could be anything." And you discard it. You keep discarding each piece as I hand it to you. By the end of it, you look down at the table and say, "You have nothing." That's because you looked at each piece as a separate item and threw it away. But if you leave the pieces on the table as I hand them to you and do not hastily discard them, you will see they form a clear picture when put all together. We must look at all these events as a whole. Individually, each one could be anything. But when all of these experiences are put together and considered as a whole, they form an undeniable picture. Do not be quick to dismiss each piece. Leave the pieces on the table and look at the whole. The picture I present is sound. Remember, I have all the pieces; you do not. I see the picture more clearly than you do. https://preview.redd.it/we31ymcsm91d1.jpg?width=966&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d56ac3dd3558a60d477ba9315104d1b66b139f8 |
2024.05.19 00:57 hippos_rool AITAH for telling my sister she should put our brother’s recovery before catching up with friends?
So we all grew up in a small town. My brother got into meth and was addicted for a good 5 years. He has managed to be somewhat “Sober-ish” for 3 years now. He no longer uses meth, but does smoke A LOT of weed and drinks a good amount of alcohol on the weekends.
He has managed to maintain a job within a skilled trade, and is the sweetest man you’ll ever meet and is repairing his relationship with family.
I’m 6 years older than my brother so we don’t really share many friends. I did let him live with me for a year while he was in active addiction. I get how that could be enabling, it likely was. My parents kicked him out, and I couldn’t let him be homeless, so he stayed with me, and the understanding was no drugs in my house. He followed the rules, so he stayed until he got a traveling job where he moved state to state and could no longer get meth daily.
He got sober, moved home, and got a good job. He’s living with my parents still, but in the meantime, my sister who is 2 years younger than him, became good friends with his lifelong best friend.
When he came home, that was great! Because he could hang out with family (my sister) and friends (his best friend) at the same time.
Recently (and this isn’t the first time), there have been situations where my sister and his best friend are both invited to something he is not invited to due to his past.
I understand he’s not owed anything. And trust takes time to rebuild. But our sister recently got invited to a party he wasn’t invited to, after she made plans with him. She’s ditching him to go to this other party, and she messaged me asking if it was a “dick move.”
I told her it was. I told her she isn’t responsible for his sobriety, but she is a part of it, and support is a big part of sobriety. If she made a commitment she should keep it, and she should consider the impact it would have on both parties when breaking the commitment.
AITAH?
submitted by hippos_rool to AITAH [link] [comments]
He has managed to maintain a job within a skilled trade, and is the sweetest man you’ll ever meet and is repairing his relationship with family.
I’m 6 years older than my brother so we don’t really share many friends. I did let him live with me for a year while he was in active addiction. I get how that could be enabling, it likely was. My parents kicked him out, and I couldn’t let him be homeless, so he stayed with me, and the understanding was no drugs in my house. He followed the rules, so he stayed until he got a traveling job where he moved state to state and could no longer get meth daily.
He got sober, moved home, and got a good job. He’s living with my parents still, but in the meantime, my sister who is 2 years younger than him, became good friends with his lifelong best friend.
When he came home, that was great! Because he could hang out with family (my sister) and friends (his best friend) at the same time.
Recently (and this isn’t the first time), there have been situations where my sister and his best friend are both invited to something he is not invited to due to his past.
I understand he’s not owed anything. And trust takes time to rebuild. But our sister recently got invited to a party he wasn’t invited to, after she made plans with him. She’s ditching him to go to this other party, and she messaged me asking if it was a “dick move.”
I told her it was. I told her she isn’t responsible for his sobriety, but she is a part of it, and support is a big part of sobriety. If she made a commitment she should keep it, and she should consider the impact it would have on both parties when breaking the commitment.
AITAH?
2024.05.19 00:56 OliveSmucker Is this what adulthood is?
Just worrying about finances?
I'm single, I live in a small apartment on my own. I worry about money a lot. I'm not some entry level job worker either.
Yet, every single month, I'm just sad looking at how much money I have left over after bills are paid. Knowing that I'll never be able to buy a house. Knowing that even if I wanted kids, I could never fucking afford kids. Hell, I can't even afford a cat or a dog (and take care of them properly).
This past month my account got hammered. A bill from a doc's visit 3 months ago finally came in the mail. I had to pay 430 bucks in dental bills for fillings and a crown. I had my 6-month car insurance bill come due (which I have the bare minimum liability only insurance for). I had to dip quite a bit into savings for this month.
Sure, there are ways I could have paid out less this month, pay my car insurance monthly, asked the dentist to only fill the worst cavities, do a payment plan on the doc visit bill. So I guess I'm grateful I have the money to pay all those in full.
But goddamn dude. I'm in my 30's and it doesn't feel like I'm making any progress in life. I don't have any hobbies anymore because everything is so goddamn expensive. I don't do anything. I'm at my computer on a weekend just browsing reddit because it's free and kills time.
Life is just work, sleep, eat, reddit and youtube on the weekends and that's fucking it. What kind of an existence is that.
submitted by OliveSmucker to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
I'm single, I live in a small apartment on my own. I worry about money a lot. I'm not some entry level job worker either.
Yet, every single month, I'm just sad looking at how much money I have left over after bills are paid. Knowing that I'll never be able to buy a house. Knowing that even if I wanted kids, I could never fucking afford kids. Hell, I can't even afford a cat or a dog (and take care of them properly).
This past month my account got hammered. A bill from a doc's visit 3 months ago finally came in the mail. I had to pay 430 bucks in dental bills for fillings and a crown. I had my 6-month car insurance bill come due (which I have the bare minimum liability only insurance for). I had to dip quite a bit into savings for this month.
Sure, there are ways I could have paid out less this month, pay my car insurance monthly, asked the dentist to only fill the worst cavities, do a payment plan on the doc visit bill. So I guess I'm grateful I have the money to pay all those in full.
But goddamn dude. I'm in my 30's and it doesn't feel like I'm making any progress in life. I don't have any hobbies anymore because everything is so goddamn expensive. I don't do anything. I'm at my computer on a weekend just browsing reddit because it's free and kills time.
Life is just work, sleep, eat, reddit and youtube on the weekends and that's fucking it. What kind of an existence is that.
2024.05.19 00:55 throwitawaypo Light roots and banding
 | I’m pretty disappointed. I had grown my roots out a bit and my plan was to let them keep growing and just put the colours over my light brown roots down into my pre-bleached (with previous faded pink dye) hair, knowing it would be darker at the roots but I was ok with it. Hairdresser convinced me to bleach the roots for a better a result and said it would fade ugly if we didn’t bleach them. I knew it was more regrowth than normal for touch ups and I asked about the issue of banding and was told it’s no problem because we’re covering it with dye. I agreed, as I didn’t want to leave disappointed and she really convinced me it wouldn’t turn out well if we didn’t. submitted by throwitawaypo to FancyFollicles [link] [comments] Anyway, when drying it I could see even in the chair that the roots were so much lighter and there is clearly a dark line where the roots stop and it goes into the rest of my hair. I’m so mad at myself for not sticking to my guns and saying no to the root bleach. Im also upset and worried to wash it as I think as it fades out it’ll be even more obvious. I had also a aid I want to make my way around the colour wheel before settling on a colour and just letting my natural light brown grow out into it and then eventually just keep up coloured ends. I am thinking yellow or blue would be my end goal for that but the stylist told me it will be impossible to go back to those colours now that we have done this darker pink (or purple really - it was supposed to be more of a burgundy colour but it’s fully purple). I’m upset with the overall experience and wish I’d just done my hair myself. Is this fixable? It’s been over 6 months since the ends were bleached and that was the first bleach in over a year so my hair integrity is good. I thought it would be ok to eventually strip the colour out from the ends to go yellow or blue if it had been a while and it’s a one off. Questions: 1. Can I go back to a light colour after this? 2. Can the banding be fixed without ruining my hair? I’m really upset about this especially since I didn’t want it |
2024.05.19 00:50 Over-Swim4100 How do I (31F) tell my mom (57F) I’m planning to go no contact because of her husband (60M)?
Hi Reddit, throw away account for obvious reasons but y’all are a lot cheaper than therapy so here we go. I know this is long but I feel that the context is important.
TL;DR - I need advice for how to tell my mom that I intend to go no contact with my mom because I can’t deal with her husband’s alcohol fueled innappropriate behavior in my life anymore especially now that I have a family of my own. I already had a long heart to heart explaining where I’m coming from and she appeared to understand and even agree, but she still makes excuses for her husband.
I (31 F) have a young daughter only a few months old. My mom (57 F) has been married to my stepdad (60 M) for 28 years, and I’ve never gotten along with him. He’s an alcoholic, and for lack of a better description, turns into a belligerent asshole when he’s drunk, which is of course all the time. He’s extremely inappropriate and vulgar in public and even at important family events (weddings, funerals, etc), and generally makes everyone, including his own family members uncomfortable. Unfortunately, my mom has been with him for so long that she makes excuses for him, and is constantly manipulated by him. There have been prior domestic violence incidents where I’ve called the police, and she lies for him. They’re both retired, and she’s super intelligent so is constantly wanting to learn new things, but he prevents her from doing any hobbies or additional education that makes her happy - especially if alcohol isn’t involved or if it’s inconveniences him.
So this weekend, both of them flew in from out of town - we live almost 1,000 miles away across a few states - to spend some time with my daughter, and to celebrate my birthday and Mother’s Day. We also scheduled our daughter’s baptism for this same weekend so my mom could attend since she’s recently taken up an interest in my religion.
I knew there would be a problem pretty quickly after they landed. We have small a local airport only 10 minutes away from us, but they always choose to fly to a larger international airport in a different state, rent a car, and drive over 2 hours to get here. There was an issue with their rental car and my mom started texting me to complain about it. I tried to brush it off and not get annoyed, but this happens every single time they come and there are obviously more convenient options. It took them over 3 1/2 hours to get to our city from the airport and I get texts like “omg we finally just now made it to our airbnb”.
I called her and it was clear that they had been drinking either on the plane, in the airports, or more likely than not, both - even though it was barely noon. She was annoyed and asked about our impending dinner reservation, which was several hours away still. I asked if she was going to come to our house to see her granddaughter beforehand, but she wanted to “relax” at the airbnb (aka drink more) and that my stepdad was trying to find a last minute barber in town because he was apparently unhappy with how his hair was overgrown. Never heard him mention a barber in my life so this was extremely strange to me.
A few hours go by and we’ve got about 30 minutes before we have to leave for dinner. I get a text from my mom asking if we can go pick her up at the airbnb alone. Due to my stepdads history I asked if everything was ok, and all I got in reply was “no”. I sent my husband over there and she was waiting on the street. When she got in his car and he asked if she was alright, she jokingly said “oh well I’m single now”.
I didn’t get much info out of her except he was “cranky” about their travel day and mad he couldn’t find a barber - again - so fucking random. They had gotten into a verbal altercation and he locked himself in the bathroom for over an hour. We’re talking about a 60 year old man here.. some people never grow up I guess. So she comes to dinner with the rest of our group of family and friends and acts like everything is ok. I tried to insist that she stay at our house that night because I didn’t feel that it was safe, but she went back to the airbnb anyway.
When she got back there, my stepdad and their rental car was gone, and he had turned off his location from her view. I called her and had a long hour conversation about how this behavior isn’t ok, that he’s manipulative, and that we’d be happy to let her live with us if that’s what it takes to get her out of this toxic relationship. She cried and agreed that what he does isn’t ok and that it’s a huge struggle for her and said “I’m not 100% sure but I think this is it for me finally”.
I wasn’t happy that it had come to this but I was glad to have a breakthrough with her, and be able to be blatantly honest. Also needs to be mentioned that when I talk to her on the phone, it is ALWAYS on speaker and he’s listening in. Even if he’s in the bathroom, she asks me to recap what I said if he comes back. Not just me, other family members notice this too.
While on this hour long conversation we talked about how he is no longer invited to my daughters baptism the next day or to my house and I offered to have my husband and I tell him ourselves, which she insisted that she wanted to handle herself to “soften the blow”.
So all this transpires, he apparently came back to the airbnb very late and apologized to her, and today she attended my daughter’s baptism alone. She was clearly upset about his absence, but I stood my ground. She asked if I had changed my mind about the rest of the weekend because “he was so apologetic” to her, and I again said no. It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last time but I’ve had enough over the last 28 years of him manipulating my mom. While we were packing up to leave the church she told me that she would probably be spending time with him because “he wouldn’t be ok” hanging out alone for the rest of the weekend. She also suggested that she would try to fly out again in a few weeks alone after the dust settles to spend time with me and my daughter.
When we were walking to our cars, my mom was borderline crying, didn’t say goodbye to me or my daughter, got into the car (she hitched a right with one of our friends since we didn’t have room in our car) and left. She didn’t come to our house, she didn’t show up for our planned lunch reservation, and she hasn’t said a word to me since.
At this point even if she does reach out and not just fly home in the next few days I’ve decided that the option is 1) she can be a part of my life and my family’s life if her husband isn’t around or 2) no-contact. I wish I could say this is the first time I’ve gone no-contact with them, but there were a time period over 10 years ago that I didn’t speak to them either and that lasted 3 years.
I know she’s not going to take it well when I tell her, and I’ve accepted the fact that she’s likely going to stay with him even if it means never seeing her granddaughter again. Or IF I get to tell her at all since she is not talking to me. Her airbnb is literally 1/2 mile from my house and we can see each other’s location so I know she’s just there with him and ghosting me.
So now I feel that I’m in a stalemate waiting for her to talk to me, just so that I can tell her that I can’t have her as a part of my life if her husband is always tagging along. I also want to make it clear that while I think it would be better that she divorce him, that’s not the ultimatum I’m wanting to communicate to her.
submitted by Over-Swim4100 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
TL;DR - I need advice for how to tell my mom that I intend to go no contact with my mom because I can’t deal with her husband’s alcohol fueled innappropriate behavior in my life anymore especially now that I have a family of my own. I already had a long heart to heart explaining where I’m coming from and she appeared to understand and even agree, but she still makes excuses for her husband.
I (31 F) have a young daughter only a few months old. My mom (57 F) has been married to my stepdad (60 M) for 28 years, and I’ve never gotten along with him. He’s an alcoholic, and for lack of a better description, turns into a belligerent asshole when he’s drunk, which is of course all the time. He’s extremely inappropriate and vulgar in public and even at important family events (weddings, funerals, etc), and generally makes everyone, including his own family members uncomfortable. Unfortunately, my mom has been with him for so long that she makes excuses for him, and is constantly manipulated by him. There have been prior domestic violence incidents where I’ve called the police, and she lies for him. They’re both retired, and she’s super intelligent so is constantly wanting to learn new things, but he prevents her from doing any hobbies or additional education that makes her happy - especially if alcohol isn’t involved or if it’s inconveniences him.
So this weekend, both of them flew in from out of town - we live almost 1,000 miles away across a few states - to spend some time with my daughter, and to celebrate my birthday and Mother’s Day. We also scheduled our daughter’s baptism for this same weekend so my mom could attend since she’s recently taken up an interest in my religion.
I knew there would be a problem pretty quickly after they landed. We have small a local airport only 10 minutes away from us, but they always choose to fly to a larger international airport in a different state, rent a car, and drive over 2 hours to get here. There was an issue with their rental car and my mom started texting me to complain about it. I tried to brush it off and not get annoyed, but this happens every single time they come and there are obviously more convenient options. It took them over 3 1/2 hours to get to our city from the airport and I get texts like “omg we finally just now made it to our airbnb”.
I called her and it was clear that they had been drinking either on the plane, in the airports, or more likely than not, both - even though it was barely noon. She was annoyed and asked about our impending dinner reservation, which was several hours away still. I asked if she was going to come to our house to see her granddaughter beforehand, but she wanted to “relax” at the airbnb (aka drink more) and that my stepdad was trying to find a last minute barber in town because he was apparently unhappy with how his hair was overgrown. Never heard him mention a barber in my life so this was extremely strange to me.
A few hours go by and we’ve got about 30 minutes before we have to leave for dinner. I get a text from my mom asking if we can go pick her up at the airbnb alone. Due to my stepdads history I asked if everything was ok, and all I got in reply was “no”. I sent my husband over there and she was waiting on the street. When she got in his car and he asked if she was alright, she jokingly said “oh well I’m single now”.
I didn’t get much info out of her except he was “cranky” about their travel day and mad he couldn’t find a barber - again - so fucking random. They had gotten into a verbal altercation and he locked himself in the bathroom for over an hour. We’re talking about a 60 year old man here.. some people never grow up I guess. So she comes to dinner with the rest of our group of family and friends and acts like everything is ok. I tried to insist that she stay at our house that night because I didn’t feel that it was safe, but she went back to the airbnb anyway.
When she got back there, my stepdad and their rental car was gone, and he had turned off his location from her view. I called her and had a long hour conversation about how this behavior isn’t ok, that he’s manipulative, and that we’d be happy to let her live with us if that’s what it takes to get her out of this toxic relationship. She cried and agreed that what he does isn’t ok and that it’s a huge struggle for her and said “I’m not 100% sure but I think this is it for me finally”.
I wasn’t happy that it had come to this but I was glad to have a breakthrough with her, and be able to be blatantly honest. Also needs to be mentioned that when I talk to her on the phone, it is ALWAYS on speaker and he’s listening in. Even if he’s in the bathroom, she asks me to recap what I said if he comes back. Not just me, other family members notice this too.
While on this hour long conversation we talked about how he is no longer invited to my daughters baptism the next day or to my house and I offered to have my husband and I tell him ourselves, which she insisted that she wanted to handle herself to “soften the blow”.
So all this transpires, he apparently came back to the airbnb very late and apologized to her, and today she attended my daughter’s baptism alone. She was clearly upset about his absence, but I stood my ground. She asked if I had changed my mind about the rest of the weekend because “he was so apologetic” to her, and I again said no. It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last time but I’ve had enough over the last 28 years of him manipulating my mom. While we were packing up to leave the church she told me that she would probably be spending time with him because “he wouldn’t be ok” hanging out alone for the rest of the weekend. She also suggested that she would try to fly out again in a few weeks alone after the dust settles to spend time with me and my daughter.
When we were walking to our cars, my mom was borderline crying, didn’t say goodbye to me or my daughter, got into the car (she hitched a right with one of our friends since we didn’t have room in our car) and left. She didn’t come to our house, she didn’t show up for our planned lunch reservation, and she hasn’t said a word to me since.
At this point even if she does reach out and not just fly home in the next few days I’ve decided that the option is 1) she can be a part of my life and my family’s life if her husband isn’t around or 2) no-contact. I wish I could say this is the first time I’ve gone no-contact with them, but there were a time period over 10 years ago that I didn’t speak to them either and that lasted 3 years.
I know she’s not going to take it well when I tell her, and I’ve accepted the fact that she’s likely going to stay with him even if it means never seeing her granddaughter again. Or IF I get to tell her at all since she is not talking to me. Her airbnb is literally 1/2 mile from my house and we can see each other’s location so I know she’s just there with him and ghosting me.
So now I feel that I’m in a stalemate waiting for her to talk to me, just so that I can tell her that I can’t have her as a part of my life if her husband is always tagging along. I also want to make it clear that while I think it would be better that she divorce him, that’s not the ultimatum I’m wanting to communicate to her.
2024.05.19 00:50 Gold__Pipe Investing or Paying off my 7.125% interest Mortgage
Stats:
$10K in checkings
$30K HYSA emergency fund
Employer puts in 7.5% of my salary to a SEP IRA
Max roth IRA
Income:
$3,800 disability
$2,000 from rent
$7,800 salary
Total: $11,800
Expenses: Mortgage 1 (rental): $1,600, 3.15%, $100K left
Mortgage 2 : $3,300, 7.125%, 487K left
Utilities: $300
Car: $300
Food and random stuff: $700
Total: $6,200
Me and my GF want to save for a house that we can buy in 7 years or so when we plan to have our first kid start school and move to a good school district neighborhood.
We are both putting 2k a month each ($4K total) into Vanguard Target Retirement 2030 Fund, VTHRX.
With my extra money around, $3.6K a month, am I better off putting it towards my 7.125% Mortgage or into the market?
submitted by Gold__Pipe to investing [link] [comments]
$10K in checkings
$30K HYSA emergency fund
Employer puts in 7.5% of my salary to a SEP IRA
Max roth IRA
Income:
$3,800 disability
$2,000 from rent
$7,800 salary
Total: $11,800
Expenses: Mortgage 1 (rental): $1,600, 3.15%, $100K left
Mortgage 2 : $3,300, 7.125%, 487K left
Utilities: $300
Car: $300
Food and random stuff: $700
Total: $6,200
Me and my GF want to save for a house that we can buy in 7 years or so when we plan to have our first kid start school and move to a good school district neighborhood.
We are both putting 2k a month each ($4K total) into Vanguard Target Retirement 2030 Fund, VTHRX.
With my extra money around, $3.6K a month, am I better off putting it towards my 7.125% Mortgage or into the market?
2024.05.19 00:50 researcherinams Feeling so overwhelmed
So yesterday I picked up my new kitten, a very pretty 3-month old Siamese. She’s adorable and everyone around me loves her. I live by myself in a relatively small apartment.
Today I played lots and lots with her and we had several bonding moments. She’s fairly easy, quickly found her litter box, eats well and though we play a lot together, she also knows how to entertain herself.
Here’s the thing: I suddenly got to a certain point where I can’t stop crying and asking myself whether this was the right choice. I am worried about so many things: can I leave the house for long working hours? Will this litter box smell stick to me? I am also someone who is a bit of a clean freak and seeing how her spilled food has started to attract many ants in my kitchen just freaked me out even more. In addition, I think about how I am not able to sleep at my boyfriend’s house for long weekends anymore or plan spontaneous trips.
I have reached a point where I ask myself whether I should return her to the girl I got her from. I just don’t know whether this was the right thing to do and I am so so so overwhelmed. Is this a phase or should I seriously bring her back? I love this little girl so much but I really feel so sad. Thank you!
submitted by researcherinams to CatAdvice [link] [comments]
Today I played lots and lots with her and we had several bonding moments. She’s fairly easy, quickly found her litter box, eats well and though we play a lot together, she also knows how to entertain herself.
Here’s the thing: I suddenly got to a certain point where I can’t stop crying and asking myself whether this was the right choice. I am worried about so many things: can I leave the house for long working hours? Will this litter box smell stick to me? I am also someone who is a bit of a clean freak and seeing how her spilled food has started to attract many ants in my kitchen just freaked me out even more. In addition, I think about how I am not able to sleep at my boyfriend’s house for long weekends anymore or plan spontaneous trips.
I have reached a point where I ask myself whether I should return her to the girl I got her from. I just don’t know whether this was the right thing to do and I am so so so overwhelmed. Is this a phase or should I seriously bring her back? I love this little girl so much but I really feel so sad. Thank you!