30 weeks pregnant bruise like pain on belly
August2019Bumpers
2018.11.26 23:18 Starlight01 August2019Bumpers
A place for those who had a baby/babies in and around August 2019.
2013.05.09 03:05 kestaa ZR5K
NOTE: Due to very low traffic, we have merged this group with /Runner5. Please go there for more actrive discussion! **8 Weeks to Become a Hero** Train with Dr. Myers, outrun zoms, and become Runner Five. New to running, getting back into running, or just can't get enough of Abel, this /r is for people working through the Zombies, Run! 5k Training app. Available for iOS and Android at https://www.zombiesrungame.com.
2024.05.19 00:19 LaFrescaTrumpeta Undiagnosed chronic back pain, could MRI miss lipomas if docs weren’t specifically looking for those?
patient is F28 about 5’3 maybe 150 pounds, will try to get med info in an edit asap. she was a chronic smoker for several years before quitting after pneumonia bout
ok so this is incredibly important, we’re wondering if lipomas are the answer to my gf’s debilitating and undiagnosed chronic neck & back pain of 3+ years. would greatly appreciate anyone’s feedback. description of symptoms near the end if you wanna skip background.
my gf has one of the worst chronic back issues i’ve seen, and it’s completely undiagnosed. she had a scary severe case of covid pneumonia for several months and somewhere along the way developed chronic pain in her neck, iirc it was characterized by sharp severe pain where she could barely move her head left or right at all without major pain. that lasted two years with no solution/diagnosis to be found.
one night a year ago she was laying in bed and reached over to grab something and felt pain shoot down her back. can’t remember if it was the next morning or gradual over days/weeks but basically the pain ended up traveling almost entirely from her neck to her mid to lower back. she can now move her neck almost like normal with little pain, but her back is now an absolute nightmare. she can’t work, standing up and sitting down is a deliberate cautious affair, her entire life is centered around this and the debilitating 10/10 pain (she said 14/10 without meds, 9/10 with).
PRIMARY SYMPTOMS: -muscle spasms that travel (yesterday they were bad, she tried massaging herself and ended up “riddled” with spasms) and when i trace her back she can’t tell me exactly where the spasms are bc they move so much ig? she had trouble articulating what she felt and why i couldn’t pinpoint it. they’re less painful the more sleep she gets in a night -pressure pain the spasms are always “on,” the only slight relief she gets is when there’s no pressure on them. laying back in a seat is hell, she has a heat pad that left marks on her skin bc she had to use it so high and often to feel some relief (she now uses the lowest setting after discovering the skin thing)
big one: moveable lumps under skins i don’t know her history of how hard doctors looked into the lumps but she feels two noticeable ones right up against her spine in the center of where the pain and spasms usually gravitate. she can move them around without massive spikes in pain (possible these two aren’t relevant but smaller undetected ones are???)
somewhere along the way she was told or got the impression that those lumps weren’t related to her spasms or pain. however from what she’s told me no doctor has ever really looked at them more than cursory (which i asked several times for her to confirm cuz that sounds insane to me). she has had an insane amount of tests done (like, recently ruled out MS) including a full body MRI but it found nothing, and they weren’t looking specifically for lipomas.
No one has ever said the word lipomas to her. she randomly found the word a couple days ago and found some posts on the lipomas sub i think, one of which was another chronic back pain case and 100% relatable to her. she went on to find info about how these can be painful and hard to detect when they’re in muscle tissue and up against nerves or the spine.
but she’s nervous this isn’t the answer because she thinks they would have spotted this on the MRI.
would they have, if they didn’t know to look for these specifically? i see cases of people saying theirs got painful and doctors severely underestimated their size when they were removed.. i’m worried she has small ones all over her back and maybe even neck? i saw they have some kind of causal relationship with the severity of pneumonia so i’m wondering if tiny hard to detect ones are in her lungs too.
begging for any information/suggestions/insights. tears on my cheeks as i type this out at the possibility that this might finally, fiiiiiinally be the answer to chronic pain that has made her suicidal at times. thank you for reading, and especially thanks to those of you physicians who take time to reply. this sub seems incredibly valuable.
submitted by LaFrescaTrumpeta to AskDocs [link] [comments]
ok so this is incredibly important, we’re wondering if lipomas are the answer to my gf’s debilitating and undiagnosed chronic neck & back pain of 3+ years. would greatly appreciate anyone’s feedback. description of symptoms near the end if you wanna skip background.
my gf has one of the worst chronic back issues i’ve seen, and it’s completely undiagnosed. she had a scary severe case of covid pneumonia for several months and somewhere along the way developed chronic pain in her neck, iirc it was characterized by sharp severe pain where she could barely move her head left or right at all without major pain. that lasted two years with no solution/diagnosis to be found.
one night a year ago she was laying in bed and reached over to grab something and felt pain shoot down her back. can’t remember if it was the next morning or gradual over days/weeks but basically the pain ended up traveling almost entirely from her neck to her mid to lower back. she can now move her neck almost like normal with little pain, but her back is now an absolute nightmare. she can’t work, standing up and sitting down is a deliberate cautious affair, her entire life is centered around this and the debilitating 10/10 pain (she said 14/10 without meds, 9/10 with).
PRIMARY SYMPTOMS: -muscle spasms that travel (yesterday they were bad, she tried massaging herself and ended up “riddled” with spasms) and when i trace her back she can’t tell me exactly where the spasms are bc they move so much ig? she had trouble articulating what she felt and why i couldn’t pinpoint it. they’re less painful the more sleep she gets in a night -pressure pain the spasms are always “on,” the only slight relief she gets is when there’s no pressure on them. laying back in a seat is hell, she has a heat pad that left marks on her skin bc she had to use it so high and often to feel some relief (she now uses the lowest setting after discovering the skin thing)
big one: moveable lumps under skins i don’t know her history of how hard doctors looked into the lumps but she feels two noticeable ones right up against her spine in the center of where the pain and spasms usually gravitate. she can move them around without massive spikes in pain (possible these two aren’t relevant but smaller undetected ones are???)
somewhere along the way she was told or got the impression that those lumps weren’t related to her spasms or pain. however from what she’s told me no doctor has ever really looked at them more than cursory (which i asked several times for her to confirm cuz that sounds insane to me). she has had an insane amount of tests done (like, recently ruled out MS) including a full body MRI but it found nothing, and they weren’t looking specifically for lipomas.
No one has ever said the word lipomas to her. she randomly found the word a couple days ago and found some posts on the lipomas sub i think, one of which was another chronic back pain case and 100% relatable to her. she went on to find info about how these can be painful and hard to detect when they’re in muscle tissue and up against nerves or the spine.
but she’s nervous this isn’t the answer because she thinks they would have spotted this on the MRI.
would they have, if they didn’t know to look for these specifically? i see cases of people saying theirs got painful and doctors severely underestimated their size when they were removed.. i’m worried she has small ones all over her back and maybe even neck? i saw they have some kind of causal relationship with the severity of pneumonia so i’m wondering if tiny hard to detect ones are in her lungs too.
begging for any information/suggestions/insights. tears on my cheeks as i type this out at the possibility that this might finally, fiiiiiinally be the answer to chronic pain that has made her suicidal at times. thank you for reading, and especially thanks to those of you physicians who take time to reply. this sub seems incredibly valuable.
2024.05.19 00:18 OtherwisePanic1563 How did I get here.
.
I’m 33F. Married. No kids. Teacher for 14 years.
I had a horrible childhood filled with abuse and neglect. I did what everyone told me and was the first of my family to graduate college and get a job, thinking that was the key to having a better life than the people I grew up with. I became a teacher because it it wasn’t for the teachers I had growing up, I would have never made it through.
I struggled HARD with what I now know what endometriosis and adenomyosis and fibroids and anything else that can go wrong in that area from the age of 9 until I had a hysterectomy at 31. All of my free time in my 20s was spent curled in with a heating pad, sitting in a tub of scalding hot water to ease the pain, or recovering from one of 12 surgeries to curb the pain and secure my fertility.
The hysterectomy happened about 6 months after getting married. The husband was supportive at the time, but everything changed after that. Things got so bad I ended up attempting suicide a few months later. At the hospital after the attempt, my husband told me how dumb I was for choosing the wrong medication to end my life. I mean, he wasn’t wrong.
Now, it’s a few years after that. I’ve been in counseling and on meds. Things are not much better. My working environment is miserable, mostly because of horribly mean and petty adults-not kids. At the same time, being around kids who are also abused and neglected and knowing I’ll never be a mom… not ideal. My husband detests me in so many ways. It makes him visibly angry when I get sick or have to take a day off work. He hates that as a teacher I get off most holidays and refuses to do anything around the house when I’m off. Like, purposefully leaves messes for me to clean. He is not in favor of adoption due to the cost. I honestly feel like he hates me and feels trapped. I’ve offered him an out, but he won’t take it. I think he’s afraid I’ll attempt again and that he will feel responsible.
I do not have a support system of any kind. No family at all. My only friends are still friends with me because I think they are afraid if they let go, I’ll attempt again.
I honestly feel like I should have never had the hysterectomy, gotten pregnant, and let the pregnancy kill me. Everyone would have been so much kinder to me I think and I wouldn’t be so stuck where I am now. All along the way, I thought I was making the best decisions at the time. I just wanted to know what life would be like without searing pain everyday. That’s all. I thought life would be so much better and that I could accomplish so much more. I can’t believe how wrong I was. I can’t believe I am where I am and there doesn’t feel like a way out. Literally just damaged goods, waiting to expire.
submitted by OtherwisePanic1563 to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]
I’m 33F. Married. No kids. Teacher for 14 years.
I had a horrible childhood filled with abuse and neglect. I did what everyone told me and was the first of my family to graduate college and get a job, thinking that was the key to having a better life than the people I grew up with. I became a teacher because it it wasn’t for the teachers I had growing up, I would have never made it through.
I struggled HARD with what I now know what endometriosis and adenomyosis and fibroids and anything else that can go wrong in that area from the age of 9 until I had a hysterectomy at 31. All of my free time in my 20s was spent curled in with a heating pad, sitting in a tub of scalding hot water to ease the pain, or recovering from one of 12 surgeries to curb the pain and secure my fertility.
The hysterectomy happened about 6 months after getting married. The husband was supportive at the time, but everything changed after that. Things got so bad I ended up attempting suicide a few months later. At the hospital after the attempt, my husband told me how dumb I was for choosing the wrong medication to end my life. I mean, he wasn’t wrong.
Now, it’s a few years after that. I’ve been in counseling and on meds. Things are not much better. My working environment is miserable, mostly because of horribly mean and petty adults-not kids. At the same time, being around kids who are also abused and neglected and knowing I’ll never be a mom… not ideal. My husband detests me in so many ways. It makes him visibly angry when I get sick or have to take a day off work. He hates that as a teacher I get off most holidays and refuses to do anything around the house when I’m off. Like, purposefully leaves messes for me to clean. He is not in favor of adoption due to the cost. I honestly feel like he hates me and feels trapped. I’ve offered him an out, but he won’t take it. I think he’s afraid I’ll attempt again and that he will feel responsible.
I do not have a support system of any kind. No family at all. My only friends are still friends with me because I think they are afraid if they let go, I’ll attempt again.
I honestly feel like I should have never had the hysterectomy, gotten pregnant, and let the pregnancy kill me. Everyone would have been so much kinder to me I think and I wouldn’t be so stuck where I am now. All along the way, I thought I was making the best decisions at the time. I just wanted to know what life would be like without searing pain everyday. That’s all. I thought life would be so much better and that I could accomplish so much more. I can’t believe how wrong I was. I can’t believe I am where I am and there doesn’t feel like a way out. Literally just damaged goods, waiting to expire.
2024.05.19 00:16 Mr_Mountain_Goose How do I deal with relapsing?
About a year and a half ago, I attempted suicide. Thankfully, I backed out and was admitted to a facility. I’ve been on antidepressants for a years now, but I keep finding myself having the same thoughts I did a year prior. I want to get better. I NEED to get better. But it all seems so pointless. And the future looks so bleak. My mistakes pile up, the pain and suffering of the world is hard to watch. My nightmares get worse and become more like reality. I have these horrible hallucinations that cause so much dread. How would I not relapse?
Last week, I had to watch a car crash happen right in front of me, which is probably why I came to Reddit to look for help. I’m already seeing a therapist, so don’t worry. I just need some sort of outlet.
I apologize for the hectic writing style.
submitted by Mr_Mountain_Goose to depression [link] [comments]
Last week, I had to watch a car crash happen right in front of me, which is probably why I came to Reddit to look for help. I’m already seeing a therapist, so don’t worry. I just need some sort of outlet.
I apologize for the hectic writing style.
2024.05.19 00:15 Medium-Wing-4710 The harrowing experience of a cancer-surviving partner turned abuser
Over the course of my 4 year marriage to my partner, I have arrived at the position that I was abused, manipulated, and functionally enslaved to a mentally ill partner.
In simplest form, the progression is apparently observable. She was diagnosed with cancer in October of 2019 while we were engaged. Due to the diagnosis, we moved up our actual marriage date (our wedding was still set for mid-April) to December 1, 2019. Her surgery was December 13, 2019. In my compassion for her, I agreed to move our wedding date up to offset her anxiety around who would be responsible for her if things went south with her surgical treatment.
Our first month of marriage was straightforward; she was on pain meds recovering from surgery, so the main engagement that occurred was me walking her up and down the hospital hallway as she recovered and trying to meet her base physical needs of hygiene, food, and presence. We stayed in the hospital for 2-3 weeks (with recurring hospital visits for complications).
Quickly after we figured out our marital living situation in her small 3-bed apartment with 2 roommates, our relationship devolved. Specifically, she was irritable because of the pain she was in, causing her to lash out at me with regular frequency for small things. If I didn’t put clothes away in the right place, didn’t anticipate her needs (without her communicating them), or ate the wrong food in front of her she would shout at me and decry me for my thoughtlessness.
These small, critical engagements were wounding and created a distance between us – and there was no upside. She was never kind, never paid mind to needs I might have, and started down a path of cultivating a root of bitterness in her soul. She quickly revealed herself to be venomous, hateful, and vindictive when she felt like she was wronged — and any observation of concern about our marriage resulted me in being accused of being mean or insensitive, even if I spent hours or days calculating the best way to share my concern (and I have a master’s degree in communication where I focused in studying disagreement — I know how to carefully package concerns).
During this time, I worked hard to provide for us, foreseeing a significant time period where I would have to be primary financial provider and caregiver. I increased my income each year we were married by around 25%, finishing our marriage at >$80,000 in yearly income, compared to starting our marriage at a modest $42,000 salary (including dramatically improving our healthcare). Frankly, I increased my income to provide for us in spite of the lack of support at home.
But to be clear: I don’t think it would have been particularly difficult to provide financially if I had an ounce of support at home.
However, the relentless criticism and expectation of mind-reading continued through the years. I rationalized this abuse for the first year of our marriage because of all the excuses to be cruel, she had a good one – she had cancer. I hung onto a hope that it would stop. Contrary to my hope, as the years went on – and our expenses climbed – and I continued to work myself to the bone – she continued to relentlessly critique and even started being more emotionally demanding, expecting me to take responsibility for her inability to cope with her emotions – I was drowning. She was asking too much of me. There was no deliverance from her abuse.
I was exhausted. In the peak of the abuse I endured at her hand, I was working multiple jobs, sleeping 10+ hours a night and napping frequently during the day around meetings and work, then coping with alcohol to numb myself to the abusive dynamic and fall asleep with no support from her. The only time I could approach her sexually was when I was intoxicated, with inhibitions lowered. The only time I could have a conversation with her was with a counselor in the room. Without something to mitigate opportunity for her to be cruel to me, either a mediator or self-medication, I was scared.
I lived at home in a constant state of alert and cognitive fatigue. No matter how I tried to make sense of my home life, I couldn’t. When she looked at or touched me, I would recoil in fear, anticipating some sort of incisive critique or demand expressed. Then she would criticize me for not responding warmly to her, exacerbating the cycle.
I couldn’t meet her needs – I was utterly exhausted. When I would tell her of the exhaustion I experienced in marital counseling, her responses were typically something along the lines of not believing me, denying what I was saying was true, or calling my exhaustion an ‘excuse’. I could interact happily with my friends… why not her?
I did not deny her demands were legitimate; rather, I expressed my inability to meet them because of how fatigued I was. I said ‘I can’t’ so many times. I realize her demands were small; affection, saying ‘i love you’, complimenting her. But it’s disorienting to be consistently berated and belittled by a person and then asked to compliment them and tell them you love them.
The push and pull of abuse is exhausting to a person who is not mentally because it does not make sense.
Further, in counseling I realized that I have forgotten that I have needs. I have lost the tools to even evaluate what my needs might be because, implicitly and explicitly in my marriage, I was told my needs don’t matter.
My marriage made no sense; I was obviously drowning, exhausted with the demands our life imposed on me. I was doing everything I could to get straight. I was in individual therapy, marital counseling, pastoral counseling, trying different antidepressants (4 in total – all with no effect), changing eating habits, trying to reduce my drinking, getting medical tests to see if I had health issues causing my fatigue, and being vulnerable in my friendships in an attempt to invite others in to process and move forward and figure out my marriage. I desperately shared everything I could about my marriage, hoping someone else would crack the code where I couldn’t.
None of my efforts worked. I could not get out of the exhausted state I was in. It’s worth noting here that within weeks of separating I almost completely cut out alcohol, got into a regular sleep schedule, was waking up at 6-7am every day and reading multiple hours (which I couldn’t do in marriage due to cognitive fatigue/distraction), and experienced a resurgence of energy. I have felt the duress I was under lift and lift and lift and the weeks and months have went on.
In retrospect, I was experiencing cognitive fatigue because I was taking the demands my wife was placing on me seriously, but no matter what I did I could not make sense of them. How could she not see that I was doing everything I could to make ends meet – the ends which she was imposing on me? I did not have additional energy left. She would ask me ‘Do you love me?’ and I didn’t know how to respond. How is my work not at least some symbol of love? My dream was to be a poor professor, which she knew – instead I was grinding myself to the bone, working in digital marketing with multiple freelance projects, picking up a bartending gig and a teaching gig on top of full-time employment.
The last straw was when she accused me of abuse. I took that accusation seriously, and weighed it against my experience. ‘Am I an abuser?’ I asked myself. I sorted through my behavior and how I treated her. I came to the conclusion that I may be a poor husband in serious ways; but I am not an abuser. And the abuse question opened the door to the question… ‘I may not be an abuser… but is there abuse in our marriage?’ And the answer quickly became ‘Yes.’
When we were married, I understood that she wasn’t going to work much for a while. However, she worked the bare minimum she could for 4 years, earning at most in a single year $18,000. As the years went on and my income climbed, our debt continued to climb as well. She was still contributing the same, yet spending frivolously on useless knick knacks for our home and a cat. As I packed up our home to sell, the majority of items were dozens of boxes of useless junk she’d accumulated.
She lived a life of mania around finances. We would go to marital counseling and she would regularly express, ‘I would rather be poor and happy than rich and sad’. We were poor and sad. Sure, my income was the highest it’d ever been – but we were still drowning, with debts climbing. At the end of our marriage, we’d accumulated about $20,000 in consumer debt between credit cards and personal loans.
It was traumatizing (and abusive) to go to counseling and be told by my partner she would ‘rather be poor and happy and than rich and sad’ when the factual scenario we were living was neither. She actively denied reality – both my lived experience and the reality of our finances – at my expense. It was killing me, trying to make sense of what we were going through but being unable to make sense of what I was being told and what I was experiencing.
Throughout this time, it is worth adding that she also leveraged my spiritual leadership to ‘set me straight’. I was in a conservative Evangelical space, believing that men are the ultimate provider in a family unit and primarily responsible for the status of the marriage. Because I was not doing what she wanted me to (lavishing her with affection), I was muscled into multiple groups and meetings where pastoral care intervened to restore our marriage. In the moment, I submitted to my pastoral care because of my trust for them and my faith in God. Now, I believe this dynamic was abusive; my pastoral care did not care in any sense for my soul; they only cared about fixing my marriage. No questions around ‘why’ my marriage was so bad were asked; only what was going on and how it could be fixed. I relish the thought of my pastoral care being held accountable for the abuse they exercised upon me during this time on judgment day, albeit through a shaken faith in a God that would enable this dynamic.
With my spiritual community, I shared that I felt like she was my tormentor; that she it felt as if I were on the ground due to exhaustion, and she was standing on my throat, telling me to ‘get up’ and ‘tell me you love me’; that our metaphorical life was a boat, sinking, and I was desperately bailing out water. All the while, she stood at the other end of the boat, desperately bailing water in and looking at me like I was a maniac.
And yet, because there was no adultery, there was no category for divorce. We had sworn an oath before God and were required to fix this.
As I reflect upon my marriage (and the ongoing divorce proceedings), a few things are clear.
She is an abuser. I don’t think she intends to be, but impact matters. She is mentally ill and unable to reckon with basic reality.
She is a manipulator. She manipulated my spiritual community against me. I was viewed as someone to be corrected while begging for help from my trusted friends and pastoral care, whom I now regret being vulnerable with due to their abuse and denial of my reality because I didn’t fit neatly into their thin theological categories.
She is an enslaver. In divorce proceedings, she is doing everything she can to get every dollar from me, leveraging student loans I did not co-sign, my continually increasing income due to my hard work, and denying every claim of dissipated assets she can.
It is truly a mind-breaking experience to see your compassion leveraged against you for money. I had to sit under an attorney proclaiming to a judge that, since I consented to move up our marriage date before her cancer surgery, ‘I knew what I was getting into’. That she is entitled to large sums of money (that do not exist; we never had more than $3000 in our bank account during marriage) due to that decision.
Even apart from the abuse, I did not know what I was getting into. Including the abuse, I am full of remorse for having invited such an evil, hateful person into my life.
This experience has been the most challenging to my faith. As I endured abuse from her, I trusted God in a few ways. That the compassion I showed would maybe be rewarded – or, at least not punished. That my spiritual community wanted what was best for me. That God was not a punitive, hateful God (like my partner). I do not believe this trust was well placed, but am open to shortcomings in my views here.
I struggle to consent to a God that allowed my experience to occur. I’m open and processing in some kind of faith, but I really don’t know what it looks like to find a place to put this pain and betrayal that I’m experiencing.
I am a survivor of abuse, and the abuse I endured was mind-shattering. I sacrificed everything to support a partner diagnosed with serious bodily illness, which drove her to hate me and deny my lived experience because she could not reconcile it with the hatefulness she cultivated over our marriage, choosing bitterness over any positivity for four years, poisoning my well-being in the process.
What I envisioned to be the most compassionate moment of my life — marrying a person with cancer and promising to support and love them — has become nothing but a symbol of pain and remorse. I envisioned a life where my partner and I would fight against the terror of cancer; instead she hopped to the other side, choosing her ongoing health issues as the ally and myself as the enemy.
It took me 4 years to realize it. And as she drags me through court to leverage every dollar out of me I can, my only regret is that I didn’t leave my abuser to her own devices sooner; self-pity, hatefulness, and a sheer disregard toward taking responsibility for anything.
I am grateful but drowning. As we are negotiating settlement, the end is near, and my abuser will soon be unable to execute any influence in my life.
submitted by Medium-Wing-4710 to abusesurvivors [link] [comments]
In simplest form, the progression is apparently observable. She was diagnosed with cancer in October of 2019 while we were engaged. Due to the diagnosis, we moved up our actual marriage date (our wedding was still set for mid-April) to December 1, 2019. Her surgery was December 13, 2019. In my compassion for her, I agreed to move our wedding date up to offset her anxiety around who would be responsible for her if things went south with her surgical treatment.
Our first month of marriage was straightforward; she was on pain meds recovering from surgery, so the main engagement that occurred was me walking her up and down the hospital hallway as she recovered and trying to meet her base physical needs of hygiene, food, and presence. We stayed in the hospital for 2-3 weeks (with recurring hospital visits for complications).
Quickly after we figured out our marital living situation in her small 3-bed apartment with 2 roommates, our relationship devolved. Specifically, she was irritable because of the pain she was in, causing her to lash out at me with regular frequency for small things. If I didn’t put clothes away in the right place, didn’t anticipate her needs (without her communicating them), or ate the wrong food in front of her she would shout at me and decry me for my thoughtlessness.
These small, critical engagements were wounding and created a distance between us – and there was no upside. She was never kind, never paid mind to needs I might have, and started down a path of cultivating a root of bitterness in her soul. She quickly revealed herself to be venomous, hateful, and vindictive when she felt like she was wronged — and any observation of concern about our marriage resulted me in being accused of being mean or insensitive, even if I spent hours or days calculating the best way to share my concern (and I have a master’s degree in communication where I focused in studying disagreement — I know how to carefully package concerns).
During this time, I worked hard to provide for us, foreseeing a significant time period where I would have to be primary financial provider and caregiver. I increased my income each year we were married by around 25%, finishing our marriage at >$80,000 in yearly income, compared to starting our marriage at a modest $42,000 salary (including dramatically improving our healthcare). Frankly, I increased my income to provide for us in spite of the lack of support at home.
But to be clear: I don’t think it would have been particularly difficult to provide financially if I had an ounce of support at home.
However, the relentless criticism and expectation of mind-reading continued through the years. I rationalized this abuse for the first year of our marriage because of all the excuses to be cruel, she had a good one – she had cancer. I hung onto a hope that it would stop. Contrary to my hope, as the years went on – and our expenses climbed – and I continued to work myself to the bone – she continued to relentlessly critique and even started being more emotionally demanding, expecting me to take responsibility for her inability to cope with her emotions – I was drowning. She was asking too much of me. There was no deliverance from her abuse.
I was exhausted. In the peak of the abuse I endured at her hand, I was working multiple jobs, sleeping 10+ hours a night and napping frequently during the day around meetings and work, then coping with alcohol to numb myself to the abusive dynamic and fall asleep with no support from her. The only time I could approach her sexually was when I was intoxicated, with inhibitions lowered. The only time I could have a conversation with her was with a counselor in the room. Without something to mitigate opportunity for her to be cruel to me, either a mediator or self-medication, I was scared.
I lived at home in a constant state of alert and cognitive fatigue. No matter how I tried to make sense of my home life, I couldn’t. When she looked at or touched me, I would recoil in fear, anticipating some sort of incisive critique or demand expressed. Then she would criticize me for not responding warmly to her, exacerbating the cycle.
I couldn’t meet her needs – I was utterly exhausted. When I would tell her of the exhaustion I experienced in marital counseling, her responses were typically something along the lines of not believing me, denying what I was saying was true, or calling my exhaustion an ‘excuse’. I could interact happily with my friends… why not her?
I did not deny her demands were legitimate; rather, I expressed my inability to meet them because of how fatigued I was. I said ‘I can’t’ so many times. I realize her demands were small; affection, saying ‘i love you’, complimenting her. But it’s disorienting to be consistently berated and belittled by a person and then asked to compliment them and tell them you love them.
The push and pull of abuse is exhausting to a person who is not mentally because it does not make sense.
Further, in counseling I realized that I have forgotten that I have needs. I have lost the tools to even evaluate what my needs might be because, implicitly and explicitly in my marriage, I was told my needs don’t matter.
My marriage made no sense; I was obviously drowning, exhausted with the demands our life imposed on me. I was doing everything I could to get straight. I was in individual therapy, marital counseling, pastoral counseling, trying different antidepressants (4 in total – all with no effect), changing eating habits, trying to reduce my drinking, getting medical tests to see if I had health issues causing my fatigue, and being vulnerable in my friendships in an attempt to invite others in to process and move forward and figure out my marriage. I desperately shared everything I could about my marriage, hoping someone else would crack the code where I couldn’t.
None of my efforts worked. I could not get out of the exhausted state I was in. It’s worth noting here that within weeks of separating I almost completely cut out alcohol, got into a regular sleep schedule, was waking up at 6-7am every day and reading multiple hours (which I couldn’t do in marriage due to cognitive fatigue/distraction), and experienced a resurgence of energy. I have felt the duress I was under lift and lift and lift and the weeks and months have went on.
In retrospect, I was experiencing cognitive fatigue because I was taking the demands my wife was placing on me seriously, but no matter what I did I could not make sense of them. How could she not see that I was doing everything I could to make ends meet – the ends which she was imposing on me? I did not have additional energy left. She would ask me ‘Do you love me?’ and I didn’t know how to respond. How is my work not at least some symbol of love? My dream was to be a poor professor, which she knew – instead I was grinding myself to the bone, working in digital marketing with multiple freelance projects, picking up a bartending gig and a teaching gig on top of full-time employment.
The last straw was when she accused me of abuse. I took that accusation seriously, and weighed it against my experience. ‘Am I an abuser?’ I asked myself. I sorted through my behavior and how I treated her. I came to the conclusion that I may be a poor husband in serious ways; but I am not an abuser. And the abuse question opened the door to the question… ‘I may not be an abuser… but is there abuse in our marriage?’ And the answer quickly became ‘Yes.’
When we were married, I understood that she wasn’t going to work much for a while. However, she worked the bare minimum she could for 4 years, earning at most in a single year $18,000. As the years went on and my income climbed, our debt continued to climb as well. She was still contributing the same, yet spending frivolously on useless knick knacks for our home and a cat. As I packed up our home to sell, the majority of items were dozens of boxes of useless junk she’d accumulated.
She lived a life of mania around finances. We would go to marital counseling and she would regularly express, ‘I would rather be poor and happy than rich and sad’. We were poor and sad. Sure, my income was the highest it’d ever been – but we were still drowning, with debts climbing. At the end of our marriage, we’d accumulated about $20,000 in consumer debt between credit cards and personal loans.
It was traumatizing (and abusive) to go to counseling and be told by my partner she would ‘rather be poor and happy and than rich and sad’ when the factual scenario we were living was neither. She actively denied reality – both my lived experience and the reality of our finances – at my expense. It was killing me, trying to make sense of what we were going through but being unable to make sense of what I was being told and what I was experiencing.
Throughout this time, it is worth adding that she also leveraged my spiritual leadership to ‘set me straight’. I was in a conservative Evangelical space, believing that men are the ultimate provider in a family unit and primarily responsible for the status of the marriage. Because I was not doing what she wanted me to (lavishing her with affection), I was muscled into multiple groups and meetings where pastoral care intervened to restore our marriage. In the moment, I submitted to my pastoral care because of my trust for them and my faith in God. Now, I believe this dynamic was abusive; my pastoral care did not care in any sense for my soul; they only cared about fixing my marriage. No questions around ‘why’ my marriage was so bad were asked; only what was going on and how it could be fixed. I relish the thought of my pastoral care being held accountable for the abuse they exercised upon me during this time on judgment day, albeit through a shaken faith in a God that would enable this dynamic.
With my spiritual community, I shared that I felt like she was my tormentor; that she it felt as if I were on the ground due to exhaustion, and she was standing on my throat, telling me to ‘get up’ and ‘tell me you love me’; that our metaphorical life was a boat, sinking, and I was desperately bailing out water. All the while, she stood at the other end of the boat, desperately bailing water in and looking at me like I was a maniac.
And yet, because there was no adultery, there was no category for divorce. We had sworn an oath before God and were required to fix this.
As I reflect upon my marriage (and the ongoing divorce proceedings), a few things are clear.
She is an abuser. I don’t think she intends to be, but impact matters. She is mentally ill and unable to reckon with basic reality.
She is a manipulator. She manipulated my spiritual community against me. I was viewed as someone to be corrected while begging for help from my trusted friends and pastoral care, whom I now regret being vulnerable with due to their abuse and denial of my reality because I didn’t fit neatly into their thin theological categories.
She is an enslaver. In divorce proceedings, she is doing everything she can to get every dollar from me, leveraging student loans I did not co-sign, my continually increasing income due to my hard work, and denying every claim of dissipated assets she can.
It is truly a mind-breaking experience to see your compassion leveraged against you for money. I had to sit under an attorney proclaiming to a judge that, since I consented to move up our marriage date before her cancer surgery, ‘I knew what I was getting into’. That she is entitled to large sums of money (that do not exist; we never had more than $3000 in our bank account during marriage) due to that decision.
Even apart from the abuse, I did not know what I was getting into. Including the abuse, I am full of remorse for having invited such an evil, hateful person into my life.
This experience has been the most challenging to my faith. As I endured abuse from her, I trusted God in a few ways. That the compassion I showed would maybe be rewarded – or, at least not punished. That my spiritual community wanted what was best for me. That God was not a punitive, hateful God (like my partner). I do not believe this trust was well placed, but am open to shortcomings in my views here.
I struggle to consent to a God that allowed my experience to occur. I’m open and processing in some kind of faith, but I really don’t know what it looks like to find a place to put this pain and betrayal that I’m experiencing.
I am a survivor of abuse, and the abuse I endured was mind-shattering. I sacrificed everything to support a partner diagnosed with serious bodily illness, which drove her to hate me and deny my lived experience because she could not reconcile it with the hatefulness she cultivated over our marriage, choosing bitterness over any positivity for four years, poisoning my well-being in the process.
What I envisioned to be the most compassionate moment of my life — marrying a person with cancer and promising to support and love them — has become nothing but a symbol of pain and remorse. I envisioned a life where my partner and I would fight against the terror of cancer; instead she hopped to the other side, choosing her ongoing health issues as the ally and myself as the enemy.
It took me 4 years to realize it. And as she drags me through court to leverage every dollar out of me I can, my only regret is that I didn’t leave my abuser to her own devices sooner; self-pity, hatefulness, and a sheer disregard toward taking responsibility for anything.
I am grateful but drowning. As we are negotiating settlement, the end is near, and my abuser will soon be unable to execute any influence in my life.
2024.05.19 00:14 frogettes I’m so broken and worried therapy is going to be harmful to me
I lost my cat Boots 8 months ago, and just a few weeks ago lost my other cat Mittens. Losing her has completely broken me. I am so in denial and nothing feels real right now. Boots had a serious illness for years leading up to his death so I had a long time to grieve and process that before he even passed. It still took a major toll on me which I am still healing from but then suddenly Mittens gets sick and now she’s gone too. It happened so fast with her, we don’t even know what the cause was. Now both my babies are gone and I’m so alone. The house is so empty and lifeless and quiet, I really can’t stand being here. I didn’t just lose my beloved cat this time. I lost all the companionship I had, my only remaining friend, and a part of my identity. I don’t have any pets left. She was there for me to help me through losing Boots but now I have no one to help me through losing her. I’m so lost
I have therapy this week and I’m really dreading it. I have to break the news to her and I don’t feel ready. I can’t accept it yet I’m not ready to begin processing this because it’s too big. I feel like if anyone says the wrong thing to me about the situation or tries downplaying it or tries to make me see the positives of it right now I’ll completely fall apart. But also this new reality has me thinking dangerously. I don’t want this new life. I don’t want a life without my cats. Things were already so bad for me and the only thing holding me together was my cats. But now there’s nothing here for me anymore and I’m so scared. I’m not going to harm myself but I really dont want to be here. And I don’t want to try healing yet either. I just dont even know what to do when every part of me wants to hide away or disappear or go be with my cats. I feel so fragile and hurt but also numb to everything. How will anything ever feel okay again.. this is just too painful
submitted by frogettes to Petloss [link] [comments]
I have therapy this week and I’m really dreading it. I have to break the news to her and I don’t feel ready. I can’t accept it yet I’m not ready to begin processing this because it’s too big. I feel like if anyone says the wrong thing to me about the situation or tries downplaying it or tries to make me see the positives of it right now I’ll completely fall apart. But also this new reality has me thinking dangerously. I don’t want this new life. I don’t want a life without my cats. Things were already so bad for me and the only thing holding me together was my cats. But now there’s nothing here for me anymore and I’m so scared. I’m not going to harm myself but I really dont want to be here. And I don’t want to try healing yet either. I just dont even know what to do when every part of me wants to hide away or disappear or go be with my cats. I feel so fragile and hurt but also numb to everything. How will anything ever feel okay again.. this is just too painful
2024.05.19 00:12 Money_Platform5770 Bite adjustment or root canal?
Hello! I've recently gotten a good bit of dental work done. About a month ago I got a filling on my bottom right molars with no issues, and then about two weeks ago I got a filling on the upper right (may 6).
So for the past week to week and a half, I've started to have pain. After a few days of this I called my dentist and they said they could get me in May 22nd. So I've been dealing with the pain until then.
The pain is happening in my upper tooth after I eat, and sometimes the lower tooth hurts as well but it's not as bad or as consistent. I would describe the pain as a dull ache. It's usually okay in the morning, then I eat lunch and it's a little sore, then I eat dinner and it aches until I take painkillers. As time goes on, the pain is getting slightly worse, and now painkillers aren't always effective at easing the pain.
It's not a pain that is stabbing, throbbing, worse at night/waking me up, etc. but it is getting more persistent the past couple of days.
At first I was pretty confident that I needed a bit adjustment, especially since the bottom tooth hadn't hurt at all until I got the top filling and the dentist didn't say that the top filling was deep (she's been good at communicating this kind of thing so far). But now as it's getting continuously worse, I'm getting so anxious that I'm going to need a root canal - or even two, since both teeth are hurting.
I know it's impossible to know until I go in for my appointment, but I would like to know what I'm likely dealing with because it's been worrying me a lot. Is this a typical issue if I need a bite adjustment? Or does the level of pain sound like it's leaning towards root canal?
submitted by Money_Platform5770 to askadentist [link] [comments]
So for the past week to week and a half, I've started to have pain. After a few days of this I called my dentist and they said they could get me in May 22nd. So I've been dealing with the pain until then.
The pain is happening in my upper tooth after I eat, and sometimes the lower tooth hurts as well but it's not as bad or as consistent. I would describe the pain as a dull ache. It's usually okay in the morning, then I eat lunch and it's a little sore, then I eat dinner and it aches until I take painkillers. As time goes on, the pain is getting slightly worse, and now painkillers aren't always effective at easing the pain.
It's not a pain that is stabbing, throbbing, worse at night/waking me up, etc. but it is getting more persistent the past couple of days.
At first I was pretty confident that I needed a bit adjustment, especially since the bottom tooth hadn't hurt at all until I got the top filling and the dentist didn't say that the top filling was deep (she's been good at communicating this kind of thing so far). But now as it's getting continuously worse, I'm getting so anxious that I'm going to need a root canal - or even two, since both teeth are hurting.
I know it's impossible to know until I go in for my appointment, but I would like to know what I'm likely dealing with because it's been worrying me a lot. Is this a typical issue if I need a bite adjustment? Or does the level of pain sound like it's leaning towards root canal?
2024.05.19 00:11 angim350 You friendly barmaid comforts you following the loss of a pet [ASMR Roleplay] [F4A] [grief] [comfort] [sweet] [kindness of strangers]
Hey all!
My second (much shorter) script!
This is based on real events. My childhood dog was put to sleep when I was sat in a bar one time, and the barmaid who served me was so lovely to me about it. She had some mutual friends that I knew and posted about me on Facebook afterwards. I never forgot how nice she was, and was really sad to learn she died a few years back in a car accident :(
In honour of her, and the kindness of strangers, I put together this little script below.
I doubt anyone will want to, but open for YouTube/Patreon etc and monetization. Just credit and link to me :)
Sound of clinking glasses. Maybe some background noise but the bar isn’t too busy.
Barmaid
Hey, what can I get you? Pint of lager? Sure thing, coming up.
Sound of pint being poured.
Barmaid
There you go. [specifies the price – the currency of your country] Thankyou.
Sound of drink being drunk quickly.
Barmaid
Are you okay? Sorry, don’t mean to pry, but you look a little down.
Sound of a phone ringing. More clinking glasses for a second.
Barmaid
A shock of straight whisky? Urm, okay. Here you go. Look, are you sure you’re okay? It’s just, you’re on your own, it’s midday, and you’re downing whisky. Plus, don’t often see people your age in here.
(softly)
You may have noticed, our cliental is a bit older than you.
(louder)
No offence, Brian. You still look no older than 50!
(softly)
I swear that guy was coming in here before they invented the TV.
Sound of a drink being drunk quick. A bit of a gasp.
Barmaid
Yeah, that stuff is pretty grim on it’s own. Would you like some water? What was that? Oh no, really? I’m so sorry hon.
(voice softens)
When did it happen? Just now? That was your Dad on the phone? Oh, honey, that’s really sad. I don’t think a lot of people fully appreciate how much pets are a big part of our life. Here, let me get you some water.
Sound of water being poured.
Barmaid
There you go. Drink that. Trust me. You’re too young to be downing whisky like this. It’s okay, you can have a little cry if you want. Nobody’s going to mind here. We’re really not that busy. I just need to dry these glasses.
(beat)
Nope, I don’t have a pet. My arsehole landlord won’t allow them! My mum has a cat though. To be honest, he’s a right vicious sod. Scratched my arm last week. But she loves him to bits. He gets better food than I do! Was yours a cat, or… a dog? Aww, I love dogs! They’re tying, but they bring so much love to a house. What breed was yours?
(beat)
A boxer girl? Aww, they’re awesome dogs! So funny. Great with kids. I’m guessing you were young when you got her?
(beat)
10? Aww man, I’m jealous. I always wanted a dog but mum always said no. Said they were too messy, but I could have a goldfish. Won one at a fair once. Ended up down the toilet two days later. Sorry, I know I’m rambling on. Do you want to be alone?
(beat)
Well, I’m just here then. You can tell me about your girl if you like. What was her name?
(beat)
Sorry, I misheard… Crotchet? That’s an, urm, unusual name. If you don’t mind me asking… oh, you mean like the music note? Ahh I see! You play piano? Your sister’s idea, eh? No, it isn’t silly! Come on, my mum’s cat is called Miss Kitty Fantastico. Yeah, really. No, I don’t know either.
(beat)
You got her when she was eight weeks old? Aww I bet she was so cute! Yeah, I’d love to see a photo! Aww, look at her! I bet she followed you guys around everywhere! I can see her in the sea there with you two! Dogs love swimming, don’t they? Oh, boxers not really a big fan of it? Looks like she didn’t want to leave you guys alone in the scary water then! Bet you’ve got lots of stories about her. What, a ‘famous poop’?
(beat)
Oh my god, no way! So your mum picked her up mid-poop to try and stop her? Bet it went all over her carpet! Haha, I’m not surprised she was fuming! Sure she was a good girl when she got older, though?
(beat)
Haha really? She just sat down mid-walk and refused to move? You know, my uncle had an old lab once that used to do that. They’d get half way up a hill near his house and his dog would just sit and stare at him. He wouldn’t budge until my uncle turned round, then he’d jump up like a snake had bit him. He was called Bullet.
(beat)
Yeah, Bullet slowed down a lot as he got older too. Couldn’t be bothered to get out of his chair. Crotchet was the same? Bet she thought she was royalty. Awww, look at her on the sofa. Yeah honey, she does look a bit ill there. That’s her last photo? Aww, bless her.
Well, from those pics it really looks like she had a great life. She was clearly adored by you all. It does suck that we have to lose them so soon, but if she was in pain then at least she is at peace now. Aww, it’s okay, please don’t worry. You have a little cry. There, there. It’s okay.
(beat)
It’s hard today, but eventually you’ll focus on the good times. The times in the park, that day on the beach, her ‘famous poop’. You were blessed to have her there with you to grow up with. Bet she didn’t like it when you cried, did she? She wouldn’t want you to be sad. And I’m a firm believer that the ones we love never truly leave us. You feel sad now, but just picture here there, watching over you and wagging her tail.
It’s probably the last thing you want to think about now, but one day you may get another pet. They’ll be different, but they’ll also do little things that remind you of Crotchet, and you’ll smile to yourself. My uncle got a little Dalmatian called Freddie and they’re inseparable. It’s kinda funny.
(beat)
Okay honey. You go. Take care of yourself, and I’m sorry for your loss.
submitted by angim350 to ASMRScriptHaven [link] [comments]
My second (much shorter) script!
This is based on real events. My childhood dog was put to sleep when I was sat in a bar one time, and the barmaid who served me was so lovely to me about it. She had some mutual friends that I knew and posted about me on Facebook afterwards. I never forgot how nice she was, and was really sad to learn she died a few years back in a car accident :(
In honour of her, and the kindness of strangers, I put together this little script below.
I doubt anyone will want to, but open for YouTube/Patreon etc and monetization. Just credit and link to me :)
Sound of clinking glasses. Maybe some background noise but the bar isn’t too busy.
Barmaid
Hey, what can I get you? Pint of lager? Sure thing, coming up.
Sound of pint being poured.
Barmaid
There you go. [specifies the price – the currency of your country] Thankyou.
Sound of drink being drunk quickly.
Barmaid
Are you okay? Sorry, don’t mean to pry, but you look a little down.
Sound of a phone ringing. More clinking glasses for a second.
Barmaid
A shock of straight whisky? Urm, okay. Here you go. Look, are you sure you’re okay? It’s just, you’re on your own, it’s midday, and you’re downing whisky. Plus, don’t often see people your age in here.
(softly)
You may have noticed, our cliental is a bit older than you.
(louder)
No offence, Brian. You still look no older than 50!
(softly)
I swear that guy was coming in here before they invented the TV.
Sound of a drink being drunk quick. A bit of a gasp.
Barmaid
Yeah, that stuff is pretty grim on it’s own. Would you like some water? What was that? Oh no, really? I’m so sorry hon.
(voice softens)
When did it happen? Just now? That was your Dad on the phone? Oh, honey, that’s really sad. I don’t think a lot of people fully appreciate how much pets are a big part of our life. Here, let me get you some water.
Sound of water being poured.
Barmaid
There you go. Drink that. Trust me. You’re too young to be downing whisky like this. It’s okay, you can have a little cry if you want. Nobody’s going to mind here. We’re really not that busy. I just need to dry these glasses.
(beat)
Nope, I don’t have a pet. My arsehole landlord won’t allow them! My mum has a cat though. To be honest, he’s a right vicious sod. Scratched my arm last week. But she loves him to bits. He gets better food than I do! Was yours a cat, or… a dog? Aww, I love dogs! They’re tying, but they bring so much love to a house. What breed was yours?
(beat)
A boxer girl? Aww, they’re awesome dogs! So funny. Great with kids. I’m guessing you were young when you got her?
(beat)
10? Aww man, I’m jealous. I always wanted a dog but mum always said no. Said they were too messy, but I could have a goldfish. Won one at a fair once. Ended up down the toilet two days later. Sorry, I know I’m rambling on. Do you want to be alone?
(beat)
Well, I’m just here then. You can tell me about your girl if you like. What was her name?
(beat)
Sorry, I misheard… Crotchet? That’s an, urm, unusual name. If you don’t mind me asking… oh, you mean like the music note? Ahh I see! You play piano? Your sister’s idea, eh? No, it isn’t silly! Come on, my mum’s cat is called Miss Kitty Fantastico. Yeah, really. No, I don’t know either.
(beat)
You got her when she was eight weeks old? Aww I bet she was so cute! Yeah, I’d love to see a photo! Aww, look at her! I bet she followed you guys around everywhere! I can see her in the sea there with you two! Dogs love swimming, don’t they? Oh, boxers not really a big fan of it? Looks like she didn’t want to leave you guys alone in the scary water then! Bet you’ve got lots of stories about her. What, a ‘famous poop’?
(beat)
Oh my god, no way! So your mum picked her up mid-poop to try and stop her? Bet it went all over her carpet! Haha, I’m not surprised she was fuming! Sure she was a good girl when she got older, though?
(beat)
Haha really? She just sat down mid-walk and refused to move? You know, my uncle had an old lab once that used to do that. They’d get half way up a hill near his house and his dog would just sit and stare at him. He wouldn’t budge until my uncle turned round, then he’d jump up like a snake had bit him. He was called Bullet.
(beat)
Yeah, Bullet slowed down a lot as he got older too. Couldn’t be bothered to get out of his chair. Crotchet was the same? Bet she thought she was royalty. Awww, look at her on the sofa. Yeah honey, she does look a bit ill there. That’s her last photo? Aww, bless her.
Well, from those pics it really looks like she had a great life. She was clearly adored by you all. It does suck that we have to lose them so soon, but if she was in pain then at least she is at peace now. Aww, it’s okay, please don’t worry. You have a little cry. There, there. It’s okay.
(beat)
It’s hard today, but eventually you’ll focus on the good times. The times in the park, that day on the beach, her ‘famous poop’. You were blessed to have her there with you to grow up with. Bet she didn’t like it when you cried, did she? She wouldn’t want you to be sad. And I’m a firm believer that the ones we love never truly leave us. You feel sad now, but just picture here there, watching over you and wagging her tail.
It’s probably the last thing you want to think about now, but one day you may get another pet. They’ll be different, but they’ll also do little things that remind you of Crotchet, and you’ll smile to yourself. My uncle got a little Dalmatian called Freddie and they’re inseparable. It’s kinda funny.
(beat)
Okay honey. You go. Take care of yourself, and I’m sorry for your loss.
2024.05.19 00:10 pbr414 Feeding after teeth removal.
My cat had the rest of his teeth removed on Monday, obviously he hasn't been to interested in eating since. But, Wednesday afternoon, and Thursday morning he licked up a ton of fancy feast gravy, and licked up a bit of a soft treat. Thursday night, Friday morning 6.30 am he wasnt interested in eating again. So I made an appointment with the vet to check on him. By 915 yesterday morning he was in a great mood and hungry, and ate most of the gravy from a fancy feast and gummed down aome of the chunks ever.. Still I took him to the vet, and she said he's doing great and recovering amazingly well. He ate a whole churu treat that she had for him, she sent me home with a few extra and he ate 1 and a half more of those immediately when he got home. On the car ride home, he was a little ball of angry energy and trying to escape his cat carrier really vigorously, but by last night and this morning/afternoon he wasn't interested in eating again. I gave him the appetite stimulant that she gave to me this morning and he's still not interested in eating yet today.
I'm assuming he's nauseous from his antibiotics and pain killeanti inflammatory that the vet gave him, we also have an anti-nausea med, but I'm super anxious and the ups and downs with this recovery are driving me insane, like I try to persuade him to eat and he doesn't and then I cry and get depressed and crazy.
Is this fairly typical behaviour after a major tooth extraction? Is there anything I can try to feed him that's irresistible but also soft and lickable?
submitted by pbr414 to CatAdvice [link] [comments]
I'm assuming he's nauseous from his antibiotics and pain killeanti inflammatory that the vet gave him, we also have an anti-nausea med, but I'm super anxious and the ups and downs with this recovery are driving me insane, like I try to persuade him to eat and he doesn't and then I cry and get depressed and crazy.
Is this fairly typical behaviour after a major tooth extraction? Is there anything I can try to feed him that's irresistible but also soft and lickable?
2024.05.19 00:10 LeoneConte1 I [23M] broke up with my girlfriend[25F] of 4 years and now regret it.
We had a healthy relationship and she loved me so purely, with her whole heart. I loved her too, however, kind of taken her love for granted from time to time so she definitely felt at least not as appreciated. She still was very happy with me and I’m sure, at that time, would accept my proposal.
After 3 years of our relationship terrible things started to happen, the biggest for me was my father’s suicide. My father was my best friend and my role model, he was my closest person and he always understood me more than anyone else, even my girlfriend. It was the worst thing that could happen and I genuinely thought I will not survive this. My girlfriend tried to support me as much as she could but it was not enough to relieve my pain, I was only focused on my father, every single second, every day. I became cold to her, was rude. The quality of our relationship declined significantly, and it was not my priority anymore. I had no priorities other than thinking of what I could do to save my father.
Exactly 1 year after my father gone I was still in pain and told her I want to break up. I honestly didn’t care much, it was just too much for me and I wanted to be alone, it felt to me that we will break up at some point anyway.
We continued to live together, just in different rooms. The breakup was too painful for her, I tried to support her as much as I could, but it was actually more painful that I thought at the time, thus leading to me saying things I shluldnt have said, like my future plans (didn’t include her for obvious reasons). We talked about how she feels and what could be done for her recovery. She was heartbroken and only wanted me back. Sometimes when she cried I would just stay in her room for a night. We also had sex once, I am not sure how it affected her.
I was slowly recovering and 6 months after our break up I could live normally again, I still think of my father every day, but it is manageable now. She was better too and we were in good, very friendly relationship. My feelings to her returned (never went anywhere I think) at that time already but I was thinking that the relationship is already gone and we’re better as friends from now on and I need more time before telling her anything. 3 months later (now) I came to a strong realization that I want to be with her. A week ago I came to her room, we were talking on her bed and I tried to hug her gently, we talked like that for 1 more minute until she changed her position so I wasn’t able to hug her. I asked what’s wrong, she said it’s a bit uncomfortable. Next evening we went on a walk, after like 2 hours of nice but random conversations I said I want to talk seriously now and expressed what you already know. She looked at me with a gentle yet kind of rejecting “are you serious?” on her face. She said we already decided everything and that the relationship would end sooner or later. Next day she initiated a non related conversation which I redirected to the related one. She said things like no, she didn’t fully recover; she doesn’t want any relationships at all (which I asked how sure is she about that and she said: 80% No); she also said that she doesn’t want to spend another 4 years on a new person, but in the end I didn’t get Yes or No, but it is mostly No. next day she wasnt super interested in interacting and I was devastated, for some reason I didn’t seriously consider to get a rejection. I just went fully into working on myself to not go insane: gym, good food, good sleep and work. It’s been 3 days since then. I stopped initiating anything because I’m in a much weaker position now. She interacts with me several times a day but it’s always something unrelated.
I know very well why she loved me. I’m smart, ambitious, confident and I always was a decision maker of our couple. She felt safe and taken care of. This is the reason why I don’t think chasing her or asking for another chance is going to work. On the other hand I think just being friendly can lead to me being friendzoned which is likely already happening since she became uncomfortable to physical contact. I only want the best for her and I’m ready to spend my whole life with her. At the same time I’m ready to let her go if she doesn’t want it. But before I get a clear NO I want to try my best to get her back. I need your advice, what do I do and what are my chances?
submitted by LeoneConte1 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
After 3 years of our relationship terrible things started to happen, the biggest for me was my father’s suicide. My father was my best friend and my role model, he was my closest person and he always understood me more than anyone else, even my girlfriend. It was the worst thing that could happen and I genuinely thought I will not survive this. My girlfriend tried to support me as much as she could but it was not enough to relieve my pain, I was only focused on my father, every single second, every day. I became cold to her, was rude. The quality of our relationship declined significantly, and it was not my priority anymore. I had no priorities other than thinking of what I could do to save my father.
Exactly 1 year after my father gone I was still in pain and told her I want to break up. I honestly didn’t care much, it was just too much for me and I wanted to be alone, it felt to me that we will break up at some point anyway.
We continued to live together, just in different rooms. The breakup was too painful for her, I tried to support her as much as I could, but it was actually more painful that I thought at the time, thus leading to me saying things I shluldnt have said, like my future plans (didn’t include her for obvious reasons). We talked about how she feels and what could be done for her recovery. She was heartbroken and only wanted me back. Sometimes when she cried I would just stay in her room for a night. We also had sex once, I am not sure how it affected her.
I was slowly recovering and 6 months after our break up I could live normally again, I still think of my father every day, but it is manageable now. She was better too and we were in good, very friendly relationship. My feelings to her returned (never went anywhere I think) at that time already but I was thinking that the relationship is already gone and we’re better as friends from now on and I need more time before telling her anything. 3 months later (now) I came to a strong realization that I want to be with her. A week ago I came to her room, we were talking on her bed and I tried to hug her gently, we talked like that for 1 more minute until she changed her position so I wasn’t able to hug her. I asked what’s wrong, she said it’s a bit uncomfortable. Next evening we went on a walk, after like 2 hours of nice but random conversations I said I want to talk seriously now and expressed what you already know. She looked at me with a gentle yet kind of rejecting “are you serious?” on her face. She said we already decided everything and that the relationship would end sooner or later. Next day she initiated a non related conversation which I redirected to the related one. She said things like no, she didn’t fully recover; she doesn’t want any relationships at all (which I asked how sure is she about that and she said: 80% No); she also said that she doesn’t want to spend another 4 years on a new person, but in the end I didn’t get Yes or No, but it is mostly No. next day she wasnt super interested in interacting and I was devastated, for some reason I didn’t seriously consider to get a rejection. I just went fully into working on myself to not go insane: gym, good food, good sleep and work. It’s been 3 days since then. I stopped initiating anything because I’m in a much weaker position now. She interacts with me several times a day but it’s always something unrelated.
I know very well why she loved me. I’m smart, ambitious, confident and I always was a decision maker of our couple. She felt safe and taken care of. This is the reason why I don’t think chasing her or asking for another chance is going to work. On the other hand I think just being friendly can lead to me being friendzoned which is likely already happening since she became uncomfortable to physical contact. I only want the best for her and I’m ready to spend my whole life with her. At the same time I’m ready to let her go if she doesn’t want it. But before I get a clear NO I want to try my best to get her back. I need your advice, what do I do and what are my chances?
2024.05.19 00:09 Beneficial-Bet8531 First Child/Miscarriage
Hi Everyone,
On Mothers Day morning, which was also my birthday, I started spotting, which was my very first bleeding down there during my entire pregnancy. I was supposed to be coming up on 17 weeks the following Monday. Long story short, I went to the ER Monday night and they discovered no fetal heartbeat and he was only measuring 13 weeks. They are unsure why it happened (but we later on sent in fetal tissue (the umbilical cord) so they can do further testing.)
I ended up waiting a few days before going through with misoprostol to quicken the process of going into labor. I took the medicine Thursday morning and had a day of what felt like a hell with the awful contractions I was having. At 8pm he was born - everything came out in my hand at once, his body, umbilical chord and placenta. He’s about 4 inches tall and has all fingers and all toes. He is currently in our fridge right now and will be with us one more night before we let the funeral service take him to be stored and then cremated next week.
This is by far the most traumatic experience of my life. I’ve donated my eggs in the passed (4 times) and have 5 living biological children from those donations in different parts of the world. I am 28 years old and my partner (28M) are both healthy. With this being our first try for our own child and having a late missed miscarriage I just feel so discouraged. I feel like I’ve failed and we will never get our first child back again.
Has anyone gone through anything similar? How long did you wait to try again? I am having the worst bleeding and cramping of my life, and it’s only been a day and a half. I am having very mixed emotions but just really badly want to be pregnant again. Seeing a tiny baby human come out of me, lifeless, there are just no words for the grief and loss I am feeling. Thank you for reading.
submitted by Beneficial-Bet8531 to Miscarriage [link] [comments]
On Mothers Day morning, which was also my birthday, I started spotting, which was my very first bleeding down there during my entire pregnancy. I was supposed to be coming up on 17 weeks the following Monday. Long story short, I went to the ER Monday night and they discovered no fetal heartbeat and he was only measuring 13 weeks. They are unsure why it happened (but we later on sent in fetal tissue (the umbilical cord) so they can do further testing.)
I ended up waiting a few days before going through with misoprostol to quicken the process of going into labor. I took the medicine Thursday morning and had a day of what felt like a hell with the awful contractions I was having. At 8pm he was born - everything came out in my hand at once, his body, umbilical chord and placenta. He’s about 4 inches tall and has all fingers and all toes. He is currently in our fridge right now and will be with us one more night before we let the funeral service take him to be stored and then cremated next week.
This is by far the most traumatic experience of my life. I’ve donated my eggs in the passed (4 times) and have 5 living biological children from those donations in different parts of the world. I am 28 years old and my partner (28M) are both healthy. With this being our first try for our own child and having a late missed miscarriage I just feel so discouraged. I feel like I’ve failed and we will never get our first child back again.
Has anyone gone through anything similar? How long did you wait to try again? I am having the worst bleeding and cramping of my life, and it’s only been a day and a half. I am having very mixed emotions but just really badly want to be pregnant again. Seeing a tiny baby human come out of me, lifeless, there are just no words for the grief and loss I am feeling. Thank you for reading.
2024.05.19 00:08 HamHamHam2315 Request: Out of work, Out of food, no vehicle
A little over a month ago, I lost my job when my lone vehicle went belly up (transmission). I have been living on the few things left in my freezer and fridge, and the canned food I had stored up. But that ran out just over a week ago. I was wondering if anyone might be able to help with a little Taco Bell. I have a remote job interview next week, and someone might be able to help with groceries next Wednesday or Thursday, but a meal from TB would surely make that wait less painful.
submitted by HamHamHam2315 to RandomActsOfTacoBell [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 00:06 One_Field_5234 Roommate from Hell
We need an “Entitled People” flair! Because this is definitely that.
I (41f) have quite a doozy of a story for you. I would normally tag this as an AITA, but let’s be honest, I’ve spent the last 4 years asking that of everyone I know, including therapists, and the answer is no.
Ok, this whole ride starts back in 2018, when I was 35. I had moved to the Midwest in 2017 for a travel job where I traveled 45-50 weeks a year. I had managed to get myself to a point in the company where they were willing to let me live anywhere and fly me out from there, so I wanted to move back to my home city where I had a bunch of friends. I was making amazing money, so I was able to afford my own place without roommates. However, my best friend (Dee, 33f at the time) was not making that kind of money at her job and she wanted to live in a specific place so her daughter could go to a specific school for K-8. She needed financial help, and I liked the idea of having someone around so there was food in the fridge when I got home at 11pm on Friday nights from a long flight. She asked me to move in with them, and I agreed. Her mother, her husband, and her daughter lived with her. Again, I was fine with this. I was only sleeping there for 1.5 nights a week. I had one room and I paid half of the rent. I shared a bathroom with her mom.
For a year I put up with a lot, and I acknowledge that a lot of this was on me. I’m a recovering people pleaser, after all. I paid for most meals when we went out. (I accept full responsibility for this, I didn’t want to eat alone and she couldn’t afford it.) I gave her money for groceries I didn’t use because I traveled for work. I helped her get her car back when it was repo’d, and a rental car with points that I had accumulated from travel for work. (She did pay me back for the funds I sent when it was repo’d.) I was often bullied and verbally abused by her mother, who was only nice to me when I gave them money.
By December of 2018, I was done. I started looking for 2/2 houses to buy. I wanted to live on my own, have my own space. I found a few and mentioned it to Dee. She immediately assumed I meant we were moving together and started sending me 4/3 houses. Again, I will take responsibility for this. I didn’t tell her no. At the time, it seemed easier not to start a fight. I was sure she would be mad if I told her I wanted to live alone, and I knew (and she made it quite clear that it was true) she couldn’t afford to live without me. I found a house that was a bit out of budget, but I could pay for myself without help, which was my only requirement. I refused to let myself get into a situation where I would default if I didn’t get her rent payments. It was a 5/3, so we had plenty of room for all of us. Even her mother, who was an unwelcome but permanent fixture in my life at this point.
Despite owning the home, all my things were STILL in my room. Their belongings took up all the common space, including the garage. And I don’t mean it was well decorated and nicely designed. I mean it was piled up around the house. I have pictures. I was still constantly bullied and berated by her mother. I was expected to watch her daughter for free at her whim. She would run to the store and not tell me she was leaving the kid. I was expected to pick her daughter up from school, take her to dance. I helped pay for dance frequently. I was still buying groceries I didn’t eat. I was paying for a house keeper just so that I could feel clean in my own house. A house I had no space in.
Let’s get to July 2020. I was five months pregnant, my fiancé had moved into my room in March 2020, along with all his stuff, we had gotten registry gifts and baby stuff. We had taken over the only room that had any space, and moved all their stuff out. There was still stuff in the closet in the nursery. I knew that I couldn’t go on like this. I couldn’t baby proof the house, I couldn’t fit her new things because theirs were everywhere. I didn’t want my baby to even MEET Dee’s mother. Ever. So, the week after the 4th of July (I was visiting with my family and talked through this with them), I asked her to move out. I gave her till mid-October. I waived all rent for August, September, and October to give her the funds to pay for a security deposit and movers.
She did not take it well. She stormed off, then texted me and called me terrible names. She said terrible things. Things that I didn’t feel I deserved and I told her that, I had helped her, taken care of her daughter, paid her way for over two years. I was allowed to be selfish for the sake of my daughter, and I was standing by that. She left with a friend and came back even more angry. I knew this would break us, but after that I didn’t really care.
I continued to watch her daughter at home for free. I helped her look at places, offering to keep her daughter if she needed to go alone. I still paid for groceries. I stopped buying her dinners. I was done. Her mother said horrible things about me on social media. I blocked her.m and anyone in her circle that tried to come for me. I continued to gift Dee things throughout her moving process. Shelves, furniture, games. She proceeded to weaponize her daughter, saying that I was kicking out the child and having her ask me why she had to move repeatedly.
She got keys for her new place September 18th. It took her over 4 weeks to move out. While I was in the hospital having my daughter in mid October, her last load of stuff left the house. She wasn’t the one to move it, a mutual friend did (and cleaned the house from top to bottom for me while I was having my baby).
On November 27th, it all exploded. I noticed that she had unfriended me on Facebook, so I messaged her. She accused me of betraying her, kicking them out, and dropping her and her daughter. She accused me of forcing them into an apartment during a pandemic, of turning my back on them. She accused me of being selfish. (Which, fine, I agree with. I wanted my family to live in my house without having to squeeze in around someone else’s things.)
Her mother messaged me hateful things. Truly toxic. She told me to stay away from her family. I blocked her immediately. Dee wasn’t far behind. I blocked them and I didn’t look back. That’s what they wanted.
I wish her no ill will, but I will never consider letting her or any of those loyal to her back into my life.
As of today, as I write this, she is just someone I used to know.
submitted by One_Field_5234 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
I (41f) have quite a doozy of a story for you. I would normally tag this as an AITA, but let’s be honest, I’ve spent the last 4 years asking that of everyone I know, including therapists, and the answer is no.
Ok, this whole ride starts back in 2018, when I was 35. I had moved to the Midwest in 2017 for a travel job where I traveled 45-50 weeks a year. I had managed to get myself to a point in the company where they were willing to let me live anywhere and fly me out from there, so I wanted to move back to my home city where I had a bunch of friends. I was making amazing money, so I was able to afford my own place without roommates. However, my best friend (Dee, 33f at the time) was not making that kind of money at her job and she wanted to live in a specific place so her daughter could go to a specific school for K-8. She needed financial help, and I liked the idea of having someone around so there was food in the fridge when I got home at 11pm on Friday nights from a long flight. She asked me to move in with them, and I agreed. Her mother, her husband, and her daughter lived with her. Again, I was fine with this. I was only sleeping there for 1.5 nights a week. I had one room and I paid half of the rent. I shared a bathroom with her mom.
For a year I put up with a lot, and I acknowledge that a lot of this was on me. I’m a recovering people pleaser, after all. I paid for most meals when we went out. (I accept full responsibility for this, I didn’t want to eat alone and she couldn’t afford it.) I gave her money for groceries I didn’t use because I traveled for work. I helped her get her car back when it was repo’d, and a rental car with points that I had accumulated from travel for work. (She did pay me back for the funds I sent when it was repo’d.) I was often bullied and verbally abused by her mother, who was only nice to me when I gave them money.
By December of 2018, I was done. I started looking for 2/2 houses to buy. I wanted to live on my own, have my own space. I found a few and mentioned it to Dee. She immediately assumed I meant we were moving together and started sending me 4/3 houses. Again, I will take responsibility for this. I didn’t tell her no. At the time, it seemed easier not to start a fight. I was sure she would be mad if I told her I wanted to live alone, and I knew (and she made it quite clear that it was true) she couldn’t afford to live without me. I found a house that was a bit out of budget, but I could pay for myself without help, which was my only requirement. I refused to let myself get into a situation where I would default if I didn’t get her rent payments. It was a 5/3, so we had plenty of room for all of us. Even her mother, who was an unwelcome but permanent fixture in my life at this point.
Despite owning the home, all my things were STILL in my room. Their belongings took up all the common space, including the garage. And I don’t mean it was well decorated and nicely designed. I mean it was piled up around the house. I have pictures. I was still constantly bullied and berated by her mother. I was expected to watch her daughter for free at her whim. She would run to the store and not tell me she was leaving the kid. I was expected to pick her daughter up from school, take her to dance. I helped pay for dance frequently. I was still buying groceries I didn’t eat. I was paying for a house keeper just so that I could feel clean in my own house. A house I had no space in.
Let’s get to July 2020. I was five months pregnant, my fiancé had moved into my room in March 2020, along with all his stuff, we had gotten registry gifts and baby stuff. We had taken over the only room that had any space, and moved all their stuff out. There was still stuff in the closet in the nursery. I knew that I couldn’t go on like this. I couldn’t baby proof the house, I couldn’t fit her new things because theirs were everywhere. I didn’t want my baby to even MEET Dee’s mother. Ever. So, the week after the 4th of July (I was visiting with my family and talked through this with them), I asked her to move out. I gave her till mid-October. I waived all rent for August, September, and October to give her the funds to pay for a security deposit and movers.
She did not take it well. She stormed off, then texted me and called me terrible names. She said terrible things. Things that I didn’t feel I deserved and I told her that, I had helped her, taken care of her daughter, paid her way for over two years. I was allowed to be selfish for the sake of my daughter, and I was standing by that. She left with a friend and came back even more angry. I knew this would break us, but after that I didn’t really care.
I continued to watch her daughter at home for free. I helped her look at places, offering to keep her daughter if she needed to go alone. I still paid for groceries. I stopped buying her dinners. I was done. Her mother said horrible things about me on social media. I blocked her.m and anyone in her circle that tried to come for me. I continued to gift Dee things throughout her moving process. Shelves, furniture, games. She proceeded to weaponize her daughter, saying that I was kicking out the child and having her ask me why she had to move repeatedly.
She got keys for her new place September 18th. It took her over 4 weeks to move out. While I was in the hospital having my daughter in mid October, her last load of stuff left the house. She wasn’t the one to move it, a mutual friend did (and cleaned the house from top to bottom for me while I was having my baby).
On November 27th, it all exploded. I noticed that she had unfriended me on Facebook, so I messaged her. She accused me of betraying her, kicking them out, and dropping her and her daughter. She accused me of forcing them into an apartment during a pandemic, of turning my back on them. She accused me of being selfish. (Which, fine, I agree with. I wanted my family to live in my house without having to squeeze in around someone else’s things.)
Her mother messaged me hateful things. Truly toxic. She told me to stay away from her family. I blocked her immediately. Dee wasn’t far behind. I blocked them and I didn’t look back. That’s what they wanted.
I wish her no ill will, but I will never consider letting her or any of those loyal to her back into my life.
As of today, as I write this, she is just someone I used to know.
2024.05.19 00:05 OtherwisePanic1563 How did I get here.
I’m 33F. Married. No kids. Teacher for 14 years.
I had a horrible childhood filled with abuse and neglect. I did what everyone told me and was the first of my family to graduate college and get a job, thinking that was the key to having a better life than the people I grew up with. I became a teacher because it it wasn’t for the teachers I had growing up, I would have never made it through.
I struggled HARD with what I now know what endometriosis and adenomyosis and fibroids and anything else that can go wrong in that area from the age of 9 until I had a hysterectomy at 31. All of my free time in my 20s was spent curled in with a heating pad, sitting in a tub of scalding hot water to ease the pain, or recovering from one of 12 surgeries to curb the pain and secure my fertility.
The hysterectomy happened about 6 months after getting married. The husband was supportive at the time, but everything changed after that. Things got so bad I ended up attempting suicide a few months later. At the hospital after the attempt, my husband told me how dumb I was for choosing the wrong medication to end my life. I mean, he wasn’t wrong.
Now, it’s a few years after that. I’ve been in counseling and on meds. Things are not much better. My working environment is miserable, mostly because of horribly mean and petty adults-not kids. At the same time, being around kids who are also abused and neglected and knowing I’ll never be a mom… not ideal. My husband detests me in so many ways. It makes him visibly angry when I get sick or have to take a day off work. He hates that as a teacher I get off most holidays and refuses to do anything around the house when I’m off. Like, purposefully leaves messes for me to clean. He is not in favor of adoption due to the cost. I honestly feel like he hates me and feels trapped. I’ve offered him an out, but he won’t take it. I think he’s afraid I’ll attempt again and that he will feel responsible.
I do not have a support system of any kind. No family at all. My only friends are still friends with me because I think they are afraid if they let go, I’ll attempt again.
I honestly feel like I should have never had the hysterectomy, gotten pregnant, and let the pregnancy kill me. Everyone would have been so much kinder to me I think and I wouldn’t be so stuck where I am now. All along the way, I thought I was making the best decisions at the time. I just wanted to know what life would be like without searing pain everyday. That’s all. I thought life would be so much better and that I could accomplish so much more. I can’t believe how wrong I was. I can’t believe I am where I am and there doesn’t feel like a way out. Literally just managed goods, waiting to expire.
submitted by OtherwisePanic1563 to hysterectomy [link] [comments]
I had a horrible childhood filled with abuse and neglect. I did what everyone told me and was the first of my family to graduate college and get a job, thinking that was the key to having a better life than the people I grew up with. I became a teacher because it it wasn’t for the teachers I had growing up, I would have never made it through.
I struggled HARD with what I now know what endometriosis and adenomyosis and fibroids and anything else that can go wrong in that area from the age of 9 until I had a hysterectomy at 31. All of my free time in my 20s was spent curled in with a heating pad, sitting in a tub of scalding hot water to ease the pain, or recovering from one of 12 surgeries to curb the pain and secure my fertility.
The hysterectomy happened about 6 months after getting married. The husband was supportive at the time, but everything changed after that. Things got so bad I ended up attempting suicide a few months later. At the hospital after the attempt, my husband told me how dumb I was for choosing the wrong medication to end my life. I mean, he wasn’t wrong.
Now, it’s a few years after that. I’ve been in counseling and on meds. Things are not much better. My working environment is miserable, mostly because of horribly mean and petty adults-not kids. At the same time, being around kids who are also abused and neglected and knowing I’ll never be a mom… not ideal. My husband detests me in so many ways. It makes him visibly angry when I get sick or have to take a day off work. He hates that as a teacher I get off most holidays and refuses to do anything around the house when I’m off. Like, purposefully leaves messes for me to clean. He is not in favor of adoption due to the cost. I honestly feel like he hates me and feels trapped. I’ve offered him an out, but he won’t take it. I think he’s afraid I’ll attempt again and that he will feel responsible.
I do not have a support system of any kind. No family at all. My only friends are still friends with me because I think they are afraid if they let go, I’ll attempt again.
I honestly feel like I should have never had the hysterectomy, gotten pregnant, and let the pregnancy kill me. Everyone would have been so much kinder to me I think and I wouldn’t be so stuck where I am now. All along the way, I thought I was making the best decisions at the time. I just wanted to know what life would be like without searing pain everyday. That’s all. I thought life would be so much better and that I could accomplish so much more. I can’t believe how wrong I was. I can’t believe I am where I am and there doesn’t feel like a way out. Literally just managed goods, waiting to expire.
2024.05.19 00:04 Extra_Abbreviations7 "the game crashed whilst encountered exception while building chunk meshes" on better mc v26 modpack (plus a few mods)
ive been playing on the better mc v26 modpack with friends on a server and things have been going smoothly until just today. a week or two ago i added a few mods, namely things like create, appleskin, botania, aquaculture, and ice and fire, and that all went smoothly as well for until just now. i logged on, fed my baby dragon and went out to get some more meat for dragon meal. after a few seconds of walking i got disconnected and any attempt to rejoin gets me kicked after a second or two of loading in. ive looked into it and hear a lot that its an issue of rubidium, but ive looked through the modlist and it is not there. i have xenon which i think is similar but updating xenon hasnt helped either. any help would be appreciated, please and thank you !!
[CRASH REPORT]
-- Head --
Thread: Render thread
Suspected Mods:
Details:
Details:
Details:
Details:
submitted by Extra_Abbreviations7 to ModdedMinecraft [link] [comments]
[CRASH REPORT]
---- Minecraft Crash Report ---- // My bad. Time: 2024-05-18 16:57:26 Description: Encountered exception while building chunk meshes java.lang.NullPointerException: Cannot invoke "net.minecraft.resources.ResourceLocation.m_135827_()" because "location" is null at org.embeddedt.modernfix.dynamicresources.DynamicBakedModelProvider.isVanillaTopLevelModel(DynamicBakedModelProvider.java:138) ~[modernfix-forge-5.13.0+mc1.20.1.jar%23619!/:5.13.0+mc1.20.1] {re:mixin,re:classloading} at org.embeddedt.modernfix.dynamicresources.DynamicBakedModelProvider.get(DynamicBakedModelProvider.java:160) ~[modernfix-forge-5.13.0+mc1.20.1.jar%23619!/:5.13.0+mc1.20.1] {re:mixin,re:classloading} at org.embeddedt.modernfix.dynamicresources.DynamicBakedModelProvider.get(DynamicBakedModelProvider.java:29) ~[modernfix-forge-5.13.0+mc1.20.1.jar%23619!/:5.13.0+mc1.20.1] {re:mixin,re:classloading} at java.util.Map.getOrDefault(Map.java:671) ~[?:?] {re:mixin} at net.minecraft.client.resources.model.ModelManager.getModel(ModelManager.java:62) ~[client-1.20.1-20230612.114412-srg.jar%23726!/:?] {re:mixin,pl:accesstransformer:B,pl:connector_pre_launch:A,pl:runtimedistcleaner:A,re:classloading,pl:accesstransformer:B,pl:mixin:APP:modernfix-common.mixins.json:perf.dynamic_resources.ModelManagerMixin from mod modernfix,pl:mixin:APP:botania_xplat.mixins.json:client.ModelManagerAccessor from mod botania,pl:mixin:APP:fabric-model-loading-api-v1.mixins.json:BakedModelManagerMixin from mod fabric_model_loading_api_v1,pl:mixin:APP:puzzleslib.forge.mixins.json:client.ModelManagerForgeMixin from mod puzzleslib,pl:mixin:APP:bclib.mixins.client.json:ModelManagerMixin from mod bclib,pl:mixin:APP:fabric-resource-loader-v0.client.mixins.json:KeyedResourceReloadListenerClientMixin from mod fabric_resource_loader_v0,pl:mixin:APP:quark.mixins.json:client.accessor.AccessorModelManager from mod quark,pl:mixin:A,pl:connector_pre_launch:A,pl:runtimedistcleaner:A} at net.mehvahdjukaar.moonlight.api.platform.forge.ClientHelperImpl.getModel(ClientHelperImpl.java:220) ~[moonlight-1.20-2.9.10-forge.jar%23621!/:?] {re:classloading} at net.mehvahdjukaar.moonlight.api.platform.ClientHelper.getModel(ClientHelper.java) ~[moonlight-1.20-2.9.10-forge.jar%23621!/:?] {re:classloading} at net.mehvahdjukaar.supplementaries.client.renderers.tiles.BookPileBlockTileRenderer.renderBook(BookPileBlockTileRenderer.java:133) ~[supplementaries-1.20-2.7.35.jar%23682!/:?] {re:classloading} at net.mehvahdjukaar.supplementaries.client.renderers.tiles.BookPileBlockTileRenderer.renderVertical(BookPileBlockTileRenderer.java:109) ~[supplementaries-1.20-2.7.35.jar%23682!/:?] {re:classloading} at net.mehvahdjukaar.supplementaries.client.renderers.tiles.BookPileBlockTileRenderer.renderBookPile(BookPileBlockTileRenderer.java:55) ~[supplementaries-1.20-2.7.35.jar%23682!/:?] {re:classloading} at net.mehvahdjukaar.supplementaries.client.block_models.BookPileModel.getBlockQuads(BookPileModel.java:43) ~[supplementaries-1.20-2.7.35.jar%23682!/:?] {re:classloading} at net.mehvahdjukaar.moonlight.api.client.model.CustomBakedModel.getQuads(CustomBakedModel.java:529) ~[moonlight-1.20-2.9.10-forge.jar%23621!/:?] {re:mixin,re:classloading,pl:mixin:APP:moonlight.mixins.json:SelfCustomBakedModel from mod moonlight,pl:mixin:A} at me.jellysquid.mods.sodium.client.render.chunk.compile.pipeline.BlockRenderer.getGeometry(BlockRenderer.java:167) ~[xenon-0.3.11+mc1.20.1.jar%23710!/:?] {re:mixin,re:computing_frames,re:classloading,pl:mixin:APP:snowrealmagic.mixins.json:sodium.BlockRendererAccess from mod snowrealmagic,pl:mixin:APP:snowrealmagic.mixins.json:sodium.BlockRendererMixin from mod snowrealmagic,pl:mixin:APP:indium.mixins.json:sodium.AccessBlockRenderer from mod lazurite,pl:mixin:A} at me.jellysquid.mods.sodium.client.render.chunk.compile.pipeline.BlockRenderer.renderModel(BlockRenderer.java:156) ~[xenon-0.3.11+mc1.20.1.jar%23710!/:?] {re:mixin,re:computing_frames,re:classloading,pl:mixin:APP:snowrealmagic.mixins.json:sodium.BlockRendererAccess from mod snowrealmagic,pl:mixin:APP:snowrealmagic.mixins.json:sodium.BlockRendererMixin from mod snowrealmagic,pl:mixin:APP:indium.mixins.json:sodium.AccessBlockRenderer from mod lazurite,pl:mixin:A} at me.jellysquid.mods.sodium.client.render.chunk.compile.tasks.ChunkBuilderMeshingTask.redirect$fde000$lazurite$onRenderBlock(ChunkBuilderMeshingTask.java:2046) ~[xenon-0.3.11+mc1.20.1.jar%23710!/:?] {re:mixin,re:computing_frames,re:classloading,pl:mixin:APP:mixins.oculus.compat.sodium.json:block_id.MixinChunkRenderRebuildTask from mod oculus,pl:mixin:APP:mixins.oculus.compat.sodium.json:shader_overrides.MixinChunkBuilderMeshingTask from mod oculus,pl:mixin:APP:flywheel.sodium.mixins.json:ChunkBuilderMeshingTaskMixin from mod flywheel,pl:mixin:APP:indium.mixins.json:sodium.MixinChunkBuilderMeshingTask from mod lazurite,pl:mixin:A} at me.jellysquid.mods.sodium.client.render.chunk.compile.tasks.ChunkBuilderMeshingTask.execute(ChunkBuilderMeshingTask.java:137) ~[xenon-0.3.11+mc1.20.1.jar%23710!/:?] {re:mixin,re:computing_frames,re:classloading,pl:mixin:APP:mixins.oculus.compat.sodium.json:block_id.MixinChunkRenderRebuildTask from mod oculus,pl:mixin:APP:mixins.oculus.compat.sodium.json:shader_overrides.MixinChunkBuilderMeshingTask from mod oculus,pl:mixin:APP:flywheel.sodium.mixins.json:ChunkBuilderMeshingTaskMixin from mod flywheel,pl:mixin:APP:indium.mixins.json:sodium.MixinChunkBuilderMeshingTask from mod lazurite,pl:mixin:A} at me.jellysquid.mods.sodium.client.render.chunk.compile.tasks.ChunkBuilderMeshingTask.execute(ChunkBuilderMeshingTask.java:50) ~[xenon-0.3.11+mc1.20.1.jar%23710!/:?] {re:mixin,re:computing_frames,re:classloading,pl:mixin:APP:mixins.oculus.compat.sodium.json:block_id.MixinChunkRenderRebuildTask from mod oculus,pl:mixin:APP:mixins.oculus.compat.sodium.json:shader_overrides.MixinChunkBuilderMeshingTask from mod oculus,pl:mixin:APP:flywheel.sodium.mixins.json:ChunkBuilderMeshingTaskMixin from mod flywheel,pl:mixin:APP:indium.mixins.json:sodium.MixinChunkBuilderMeshingTask from mod lazurite,pl:mixin:A} at me.jellysquid.mods.sodium.client.render.chunk.compile.executor.ChunkJobTyped.execute(ChunkJobTyped.java:44) ~[xenon-0.3.11+mc1.20.1.jar%23710!/:?] {re:computing_frames,re:classloading} at me.jellysquid.mods.sodium.client.render.chunk.compile.executor.ChunkBuilder$WorkerRunnable.run(ChunkBuilder.java:207) ~[xenon-0.3.11+mc1.20.1.jar%23710!/:?] {re:classloading} at java.lang.Thread.run(Thread.java:833) ~[?:?] {re:mixin} A detailed walkthrough of the error, its code path and all known details is as follows:Thread: Render thread
Suspected Mods:
ModernFix (modernfix), Version: 5.13.0+mc1.20.1 Issue tracker URL: [https://github.com/embeddedt/ModernFix/issues](https://github.com/embeddedt/ModernFix/issues) at TRANSFORMEmodernfix@5.13.0+mc1.20.1/org.embeddedt.modernfix.dynamicresources.DynamicBakedModelProvider.isVanillaTopLevelModel(DynamicBakedModelProvider.java:138) Supplementaries (supplementaries), Version: 1.20-2.7.35 Issue tracker URL: [https://github.com/MehVahdJukaaSupplementaries/issues](https://github.com/MehVahdJukaaSupplementaries/issues) at TRANSFORMEsupplementaries@1.20-2.7.35/net.mehvahdjukaar.supplementaries.client.renderers.tiles.BookPileBlockTileRenderer.renderBook(BookPileBlockTileRenderer.java:133) Moonlight Library (moonlight), Version: 1.20-2.9.10 Issue tracker URL: [https://github.com/MehVahdJukaaMoonlight/issues](https://github.com/MehVahdJukaaMoonlight/issues) at TRANSFORMEmoonlight@1.20-2.9.10/net.mehvahdjukaar.moonlight.api.platform.forge.ClientHelperImpl.getModel(ClientHelperImpl.java:220) Lazurite (lazurite), Version: 1.0.2+mc1.20.1 Issue tracker URL: [https://github.com/Su5eD/Lazurite/issues](https://github.com/Su5eD/Lazurite/issues) Mixin class: link.infra.indium.mixin.sodium.MixinChunkBuilderMeshingTask Target: me.jellysquid.mods.sodium.client.render.chunk.compile.tasks.ChunkBuilderMeshingTask at TRANSFORMExenon@0.3.11+mc1.20.1/me.jellysquid.mods.sodium.client.render.chunk.compile.tasks.ChunkBuilderMeshingTask.redirect$fde000$lazurite$onRenderBlock(ChunkBuilderMeshingTask.java:2046) Xenon (xenon), Version: 0.3.11+mc1.20.1 at TRANSFORMExenon@0.3.11+mc1.20.1/me.jellysquid.mods.sodium.client.render.chunk.compile.pipeline.BlockRenderer.getGeometry(BlockRenderer.java:167)Stacktrace:
at org.embeddedt.modernfix.dynamicresources.DynamicBakedModelProvider.isVanillaTopLevelModel(DynamicBakedModelProvider.java:138) \~\[modernfix-forge-5.13.0+mc1.20.1.jar%23619!/:5.13.0+mc1.20.1\] {re:mixin,re:classloading} -- Block being rendered --Details:
Block: Block{supplementaries:book\_pile}\[books=1,waterlogged=false\] Block location: World: (-1162,131,-955), Section: (at 6,3,5 in -73,8,-60; chunk contains blocks -1168,-64,-960 to -1153,319,-945), Region: (-3,-2; contains chunks -96,-64 to -65,-33, blocks -1536,-64,-1024 to -1025,319,-513) Chunk section: RenderSection at chunk (-73, 8, -60) from (-1168, 128, -960) to (-1153, 143, -945) Render context volume: BoundingBox{minX=-1170, minY=126, minZ=-962, maxX=-1151, maxY=145, maxZ=-943} Stacktrace:at me.jellysquid.mods.sodium.client.render.chunk.compile.tasks.ChunkBuilderMeshingTask.execute(ChunkBuilderMeshingTask.java:137) \~\[xenon-0.3.11+mc1.20.1.jar%23710!/:?\] {re:mixin,re:computing\_frames,re:classloading,pl:mixin:APP:mixins.oculus.compat.sodium.json:block\_id.MixinChunkRenderRebuildTask from mod oculus,pl:mixin:APP:mixins.oculus.compat.sodium.json:shader\_overrides.MixinChunkBuilderMeshingTask from mod oculus,pl:mixin:APP:flywheel.sodium.mixins.json:ChunkBuilderMeshingTaskMixin from mod flywheel,pl:mixin:APP:indium.mixins.json:sodium.MixinChunkBuilderMeshingTask from mod lazurite,pl:mixin:A} at me.jellysquid.mods.sodium.client.render.chunk.compile.tasks.ChunkBuilderMeshingTask.execute(ChunkBuilderMeshingTask.java:50) \~\[xenon-0.3.11+mc1.20.1.jar%23710!/:?\] {re:mixin,re:computing\_frames,re:classloading,pl:mixin:APP:mixins.oculus.compat.sodium.json:block\_id.MixinChunkRenderRebuildTask from mod oculus,pl:mixin:APP:mixins.oculus.compat.sodium.json:shader\_overrides.MixinChunkBuilderMeshingTask from mod oculus,pl:mixin:APP:flywheel.sodium.mixins.json:ChunkBuilderMeshingTaskMixin from mod flywheel,pl:mixin:APP:indium.mixins.json:sodium.MixinChunkBuilderMeshingTask from mod lazurite,pl:mixin:A} at me.jellysquid.mods.sodium.client.render.chunk.compile.executor.ChunkJobTyped.execute(ChunkJobTyped.java:44) \~\[xenon-0.3.11+mc1.20.1.jar%23710!/:?\] {re:computing\_frames,re:classloading} at me.jellysquid.mods.sodium.client.render.chunk.compile.executor.ChunkBuilder$WorkerRunnable.run(ChunkBuilder.java:207) \~\[xenon-0.3.11+mc1.20.1.jar%23710!/:?\] {re:classloading} at java.lang.Thread.run(Thread.java:833) \~\[?:?\] {re:mixin} -- Affected level --Details:
All players: 1 total; \[LocalPlayer\['LittleStinky04'/1128, l='ClientLevel', x=-1173.35, y=133.00, z=-946.85\]\] Chunk stats: 453, 453 Level dimension: minecraft:overworld Level spawn location: World: (-7,64,-1787), Section: (at 9,0,5 in -1,4,-112; chunk contains blocks -16,-64,-1792 to -1,319,-1777), Region: (-1,-4; contains chunks -32,-128 to -1,-97, blocks -512,-64,-2048 to -1,319,-1537) Level time: 38272887 game time, 366000 day time Server brand: forge Server type: Non-integrated multiplayer serverStacktrace:
at net.minecraft.client.multiplayer.ClientLevel.m\_6026\_(ClientLevel.java:455) \~\[client-1.20.1-20230612.114412-srg.jar%23726!/:?\] {re:mixin,pl:accesstransformer:B,xf:fml:xaerominimap:xaero\_clientworldclass,xf:fml:xaeroworldmap:xaero\_wm\_clientworldclass,pl:connector\_pre\_launch:A,pl:runtimedistcleaner:A,re:classloading,pl:accesstransformer:B,xf:fml:xaerominimap:xaero\_clientworldclass,xf:fml:xaeroworldmap:xaero\_wm\_clientworldclass,pl:mixin:APP:xenon.mixins.json:features.render.world.ClientLevelMixin from mod xenon,pl:mixin:APP:citadel.mixins.json:client.ClientLevelMixin from mod citadel,pl:mixin:APP:supplementaries-common.mixins.json:ClientLevelMixin from mod supplementaries,pl:mixin:APP:mixins.oculus.vertexformat.json:block\_rendering.MixinClientLevel from mod oculus,pl:mixin:APP:krypton.mixins.json:client.fastchunkentityaccess.ClientWorldMixin from mod krypton,pl:mixin:APP:lithium.mixins.json:chunk.entity\_class\_groups.ClientWorldMixin from mod radium,pl:mixin:APP:flywheel.mixins.json:ClientLevelMixin from mod flywheel,pl:mixin:APP:entityculling.mixins.json:ClientWorldMixin from mod entityculling,pl:mixin:APP:lambdynlights.mixins.json:ClientWorldMixin from mod ryoamiclights,pl:mixin:APP:blue\_skies.mixins.json:ClientLevelMixin from mod blue\_skies,pl:mixin:APP:bclib.mixins.client.json:ClientLevelMixin from mod bclib,pl:mixin:APP:architectury.mixins.json:MixinClientLevel from mod architectury,pl:mixin:APP:fabric-lifecycle-events-v1.client.mixins.json:ClientWorldMixin from mod fabric\_lifecycle\_events\_v1,pl:mixin:APP:farsight.mixins.json:ClientWorldMixin from mod farsight\_view,pl:mixin:APP:alexscaves.mixins.json:client.ClientLevelMixin from mod alexscaves,pl:mixin:APP:xenon.mixins.json:core.world.biome.ClientWorldMixin from mod xenon,pl:mixin:APP:xenon.mixins.json:core.world.map.ClientWorldMixin from mod xenon,pl:mixin:APP:forge-badoptimizations.mixins.json:tick.MixinClientWorldCloudColor from mod (unknown),pl:mixin:APP:forge-badoptimizations.mixins.json:tick.MixinClientWorldSkyColor from mod (unknown),pl:mixin:A,pl:connector\_pre\_launch:A,pl:runtimedistcleaner:A} at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.m\_91354\_(Minecraft.java:2319) \~\[client-1.20.1-20230612.114412-srg.jar%23726!/:?\] {re:mixin,pl:accesstransformer:B,xf:fml:xaeroworldmap:xaero\_wm\_minecraft\_runtick,xf:fml:xaeroworldmap:xaero\_wm\_minecraft\_runtick\_render\_call,xf:fml:xaerominimap:xaero\_minecraftclient,xf:fml:xaeroworldmap:xaero\_wm\_minecraftclient,pl:connector\_pre\_launch:A,pl:runtimedistcleaner:A,re:classloading,pl:accesstransformer:B,xf:fml:xaeroworldmap:xaero\_wm\_minecraft\_runtick,xf:fml:xaeroworldmap:xaero\_wm\_minecraft\_runtick\_render\_call,xf:fml:xaerominimap:xaero\_minecraftclient,xf:fml:xaeroworldmap:xaero\_wm\_minecraftclient,pl:mixin:A,pl:connector\_pre\_launch:A,pl:runtimedistcleaner:A} at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.m\_91374\_(Minecraft.java:735) \~\[client-1.20.1-20230612.114412-srg.jar%23726!/:?\] {re:mixin,pl:accesstransformer:B,xf:fml:xaeroworldmap:xaero\_wm\_minecraft\_runtick,xf:fml:xaeroworldmap:xaero\_wm\_minecraft\_runtick\_render\_call,xf:fml:xaerominimap:xaero\_minecraftclient,xf:fml:xaeroworldmap:xaero\_wm\_minecraftclient,pl:connector\_pre\_launch:A,pl:runtimedistcleaner:A,re:classloading,pl:accesstransformer:B,xf:fml:xaeroworldmap:xaero\_wm\_minecraft\_runtick,xf:fml:xaeroworldmap:xaero\_wm\_minecraft\_runtick\_render\_call,xf:fml:xaerominimap:xaero\_minecraftclient,xf:fml:xaeroworldmap:xaero\_wm\_minecraftclient,pl:mixin:A,pl:connector\_pre\_launch:A,pl:runtimedistcleaner:A} at net.minecraft.client.main.Main.main(Main.java:218) \~\[forge-47.2.17.jar:?\] {re:mixin,pl:connector\_pre\_launch:A,pl:runtimedistcleaner:A,re:classloading,pl:mixin:APP:flywheel.mixins.json:ClientMainMixin from mod flywheel,pl:mixin:A,pl:connector\_pre\_launch:A,pl:runtimedistcleaner:A} at jdk.internal.reflect.NativeMethodAccessorImpl.invoke0(Native Method) \~\[?:?\] {} at jdk.internal.reflect.NativeMethodAccessorImpl.invoke(NativeMethodAccessorImpl.java:77) \~\[?:?\] {} at jdk.internal.reflect.DelegatingMethodAccessorImpl.invoke(DelegatingMethodAccessorImpl.java:43) \~\[?:?\] {} at java.lang.reflect.Method.invoke(Method.java:568) \~\[?:?\] {re:mixin} at net.minecraftforge.fml.loading.targets.CommonLaunchHandler.runTarget(CommonLaunchHandler.java:111) \~\[fmlloader-1.20.1-47.2.17.jar:?\] {} at net.minecraftforge.fml.loading.targets.CommonLaunchHandler.clientService(CommonLaunchHandler.java:99) \~\[fmlloader-1.20.1-47.2.17.jar:?\] {} at net.minecraftforge.fml.loading.targets.CommonClientLaunchHandler.lambda$makeService$0(CommonClientLaunchHandler.java:25) \~\[fmlloader-1.20.1-47.2.17.jar:?\] {} at cpw.mods.modlauncher.LaunchServiceHandlerDecorator.launch(LaunchServiceHandlerDecorator.java:30) \~\[modlauncher-10.0.9.jar:?\] {} at cpw.mods.modlauncher.LaunchServiceHandler.launch(LaunchServiceHandler.java:53) \~\[modlauncher-10.0.9.jar:?\] {} at cpw.mods.modlauncher.LaunchServiceHandler.launch(LaunchServiceHandler.java:71) \~\[modlauncher-10.0.9.jar:?\] {} at cpw.mods.modlauncher.Launcher.run(Launcher.java:108) \~\[modlauncher-10.0.9.jar:?\] {} at cpw.mods.modlauncher.Launcher.main(Launcher.java:78) \~\[modlauncher-10.0.9.jar:?\] {} at cpw.mods.modlauncher.BootstrapLaunchConsumer.accept(BootstrapLaunchConsumer.java:26) \~\[modlauncher-10.0.9.jar:?\] {} at cpw.mods.modlauncher.BootstrapLaunchConsumer.accept(BootstrapLaunchConsumer.java:23) \~\[modlauncher-10.0.9.jar:?\] {} at cpw.mods.bootstraplauncher.BootstrapLauncher.main(BootstrapLauncher.java:141) \~\[bootstraplauncher-1.1.2.jar:?\] {} -- Last reload --Details:
Reload number: 1 Reload reason: initial Finished: Yes Packs: vanilla, mod\_resources, file/Stay\_True\_1.20.zip, file/MandalasGUI+Modded\_Dakmode\_v4.6.zip, file/Mandalas\_Legacy\_Gui\_Background.zip, overrides\_pack, file/Created Simple Storage 1.3.zip, file/Aether Regenerated v1.1.2.zip, file/waystones\_1.20.zip, file/Icon Xaero's 1.13.zip, file/Better\_Modded\_GUI.zip, file/NoBushyLeaves.zip, fabric, Moonlight Mods Dynamic Assets, builtin/DAGoldenSwetBallFixClient, diagonalblocks:default\_block\_models-- System Details --
Details:
Minecraft Version: 1.20.1 Minecraft Version ID: 1.20.1 Operating System: Windows 10 (amd64) version 10.0 Java Version: 17.0.8, Microsoft Java VM Version: OpenJDK 64-Bit Server VM (mixed mode), Microsoft Memory: 1171134000 bytes (1116 MiB) / 5049942016 bytes (4816 MiB) up to 7046430720 bytes (6720 MiB) CPUs: 4 Processor Vendor: GenuineIntel Processor Name: Intel(R) Core(TM) i5-4460 CPU @ 3.20GHz Identifier: Intel64 Family 6 Model 60 Stepping 3 Microarchitecture: Haswell (Client) Frequency (GHz): 3.19 Number of physical packages: 1 Number of physical CPUs: 4 Number of logical CPUs: 4 Graphics card #0 name: Intel(R) HD Graphics 4600 Graphics card #0 vendor: Intel Corporation (0x8086) Graphics card #0 VRAM (MB): 1024.00 Graphics card #0 deviceId: 0x0412 Graphics card #0 versionInfo: DriverVersion=20.19.15.4531 Graphics card #1 name: NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1060 3GB Graphics card #1 vendor: NVIDIA (0x10de) Graphics card #1 VRAM (MB): 3072.00 Graphics card #1 deviceId: 0x1c02 Graphics card #1 versionInfo: DriverVersion=31.0.15.4665 Memory slot #0 capacity (MB): 8192.00 Memory slot #0 clockSpeed (GHz): 1.60 Memory slot #0 type: DDR3 Memory slot #1 capacity (MB): 8192.00 Memory slot #1 clockSpeed (GHz): 1.60 Memory slot #1 type: DDR3 Virtual memory max (MB): 27052.93 Virtual memory used (MB): 21447.64 Swap memory total (MB): 10752.00 Swap memory used (MB): 732.73 JVM Flags: 4 total; -XX:HeapDumpPath=MojangTricksIntelDriversForPerformance\_javaw.exe\_minecraft.exe.heapdump -Xss1M -Xmx6720m -Xms256m Loaded Shaderpack: (off) Launched Version: forge-47.2.17 Backend library: LWJGL version 3.3.1 build 7 Backend API: NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1060 3GB/PCIe/SSE2 GL version 4.6.0 NVIDIA 546.65, NVIDIA Corporation Window size: 1360x768 GL Caps: Using framebuffer using OpenGL 3.2 GL debug messages: Using VBOs: Yes Is Modded: Definitely; Client brand changed to 'forge' Type: Client (map\_client.txt) Graphics mode: fancy Resource Packs: vanilla, mod\_resources, file/Stay\_True\_1.20.zip, file/MandalasGUI+Modded\_Dakmode\_v4.6.zip, file/Mandalas\_Legacy\_Gui\_Background.zip, builtin/overrides\_pack, file/Created Simple Storage 1.3.zip, file/Aether Regenerated v1.1.2.zip, file/waystones\_1.20.zip, file/Icon Xaero's 1.13.zip, file/Better\_Modded\_GUI.zip, file/NoBushyLeaves.zip, fabric, Moonlight Mods Dynamic Assets, builtin/DAGoldenSwetBallFixClient (incompatible) Current Language: en\_us CPU: 4x Intel(R) Core(TM) i5-4460 CPU @ 3.20GHz Sinytra Connector: 1.0.0-beta.36+1.20.1 SINYTRA CONNECTOR IS PRESENT! Please verify issues are not caused by Connector before reporting them to mod authors. If you're unsure, file a report on Connector's issue tracker. Connector's issue tracker can be found at https://github.com/Sinytra/Connectoissues. Installed Fabric mods: ================================================== ============================== ============================== ==================== Eldritch\_End-FORGE-MC1.20.1-0.2.31\_mapped\_srg\_1.20 Eldritch End eldritch\_end 0.2.31 better-end-4.0.11\_mapped\_srg\_1.20.1.jar Better End betterend 4.0.11 bclib-3.0.14$wunderlib-1.1.5\_mapped\_srg\_1.20.1.jar WunderLib wunderlib 1.1.5 bclib-3.0.14\_mapped\_srg\_1.20.1.jar BCLib bclib 3.0.14 inventorymanagement-1.3.1+1.20\_mapped\_srg\_1.20.1.j Inventory Management inventorymanagement 1.3.1 spawnersplus-2.0.1-1.20.1\_mapped\_srg\_1.20.1.jar Spawners+ spawners\_plus 2.0.1-1.20.1 ModLauncher: 10.0.9+10.0.9+main.dcd20f30 ModLauncher launch target: forgeclient ModLauncher naming: srg ModLauncher services: mixin-0.8.5.jar mixin PLUGINSERVICE eventbus-6.0.5.jar eventbus PLUGINSERVICE fmlloader-1.20.1-47.2.17.jar slf4jfixer PLUGINSERVICE fmlloader-1.20.1-47.2.17.jar object\_holder\_definalize PLUGINSERVICE fmlloader-1.20.1-47.2.17.jar runtime\_enum\_extender PLUGINSERVICE fmlloader-1.20.1-47.2.17.jar capability\_token\_subclass PLUGINSERVICE accesstransformers-8.0.4.jar accesstransformer PLUGINSERVICE fmlloader-1.20.1-47.2.17.jar runtimedistcleaner PLUGINSERVICE modlauncher-10.0.9.jar mixin TRANSFORMATIONSERVICE modlauncher-10.0.9.jar redirector TRANSFORMATIONSERVICE modlauncher-10.0.9.jar fml TRANSFORMATIONSERVICE modlauncher-10.0.9.jar mixin-transmogrifier TRANSFORMATIONSERVICE modlauncher-10.0.9.jar connector\_loader TRANSFORMATIONSERVICE FML Language Providers: minecraft@1.0 Configured Defaults@8.0.1 javafml@null kotlinforforge@4.10.0 lowcodefml@null
2024.05.19 00:02 FairyTaleFan12 AITAH for making my (25F) husband (29M) choose between our family or his game and his character he is obcessed with.
I (25F) never thought I'd be posting here, but I'm seriously losing it and need some advice. My husband (29M) has gotten completely obsessed with a video game character, and it’s destroying our marriage and our plans for our future family. We've been married for two years.
He plays a game called League of Legends, and his "main" is this character named Lillia, who's a magical, deer-girl, very cutesy and innocent looking. He's always been a big gamer, which I've been totally cool with. It’s his thing, and I have my own hobbies. No biggie. But over time, our home office turned into a freaking shrine with Lillia posters and custom made figurines. His computer wallpaper is also all about Lillia. It’s like living with a teenager obsessed with their first crush, but this is my adult husband, and his crush is a some deer girl thing.
Recently, we found out I’m pregnant, and we were both thrilled—until he insisted we name our baby girl Lillia. He said it was a beautiful name and meant so much to him. I think the name is fine, but the idea of naming our child after his obsession? No freaking way. I told him I wasn’t very fond of it, but he keeps pushing it. He won’t consider any other names, and it’s causing a massive rift between us. He REALLY wants to name our daughter after his obsession character.
The other night, he put his hand on my belly and said, "Our shy little Lillia is growing in there." It felt sickening how he was talking about our actual baby. I feel like I’m losing my mind over this, and it feels insignificant, but I also feel so anxious about it all, and I don't know how to approach it. My husband wants to name our daughter after the deer girl character he fantasizes about when I'm not around. How do I even address this?
While I was cleaning our home office, I noticed he left his computer open and I couldn't help but go looking through his folders. Well, I found his "art" folders. A lot of it featured NSFW art work of game characters and A LOT of Lillia ones. When I confronted him about he got mad at me for "snooping" in his computer and that it was innapropritate. I told him that he needs to stop playing this game and get rid of all his Lillia things or else I'll tell everyone we know about his deranged sick obcession. I really like him, he is generally such a hardworking sweet hearted man but for some reason he has thise insane thing about this character and I am so lost at what to do.
TL;DR: My husband is obsessed with a video game character he fantasizes about and wants to name our baby girl after her. It’s wrecking our marriage, and he is mad at be because I am forcing him to stop playing his game for our family. It's driving me crazy. What should I do? AITA?
submitted by FairyTaleFan12 to AITAH [link] [comments]
He plays a game called League of Legends, and his "main" is this character named Lillia, who's a magical, deer-girl, very cutesy and innocent looking. He's always been a big gamer, which I've been totally cool with. It’s his thing, and I have my own hobbies. No biggie. But over time, our home office turned into a freaking shrine with Lillia posters and custom made figurines. His computer wallpaper is also all about Lillia. It’s like living with a teenager obsessed with their first crush, but this is my adult husband, and his crush is a some deer girl thing.
Recently, we found out I’m pregnant, and we were both thrilled—until he insisted we name our baby girl Lillia. He said it was a beautiful name and meant so much to him. I think the name is fine, but the idea of naming our child after his obsession? No freaking way. I told him I wasn’t very fond of it, but he keeps pushing it. He won’t consider any other names, and it’s causing a massive rift between us. He REALLY wants to name our daughter after his obsession character.
The other night, he put his hand on my belly and said, "Our shy little Lillia is growing in there." It felt sickening how he was talking about our actual baby. I feel like I’m losing my mind over this, and it feels insignificant, but I also feel so anxious about it all, and I don't know how to approach it. My husband wants to name our daughter after the deer girl character he fantasizes about when I'm not around. How do I even address this?
While I was cleaning our home office, I noticed he left his computer open and I couldn't help but go looking through his folders. Well, I found his "art" folders. A lot of it featured NSFW art work of game characters and A LOT of Lillia ones. When I confronted him about he got mad at me for "snooping" in his computer and that it was innapropritate. I told him that he needs to stop playing this game and get rid of all his Lillia things or else I'll tell everyone we know about his deranged sick obcession. I really like him, he is generally such a hardworking sweet hearted man but for some reason he has thise insane thing about this character and I am so lost at what to do.
TL;DR: My husband is obsessed with a video game character he fantasizes about and wants to name our baby girl after her. It’s wrecking our marriage, and he is mad at be because I am forcing him to stop playing his game for our family. It's driving me crazy. What should I do? AITA?
2024.05.19 00:02 No-Abalone-6205 AITA For telling my mother off?
Hi first time posting here and sorry for my grammar, English is not my first language. I just need some perspective on this matter. So I (22M) live alone with my brother (14M). Our mother(42F) is working abroad with her boyfriend what means she is not at home with us. For some background. My Mother divorsed my father two years ago. He was an alcoholic who neglected me and my brother and thought that if he brings money home then he is releved from any parental responsibility. They lived separately for over 10 years and HATED EACH OTHER with passion, before they divorsed. My mom is no saint either. She loses her temper very fast what makes her say very cruel things. I was the scapegoat in the family because my i can't back off a fight eather, so when my mother attacked me verbaly i always clap back and that's what she wanted to have someone to screem at and blame for everything. My brother is very timid and the complete opposite of me. Oh and what i forgot to mention my mother is a compleat controll freak. There are many things she did (like hitting us when we were little because we did something wrong) but then she would be sweet as honey tu us for the next two weeks and then the cycle repeats. I know that some of you will tell that she is a bad mom but that's how she was raised and she doesn't know better. but in the last 6 or 7 years she tried to be better and it shows, So to the topic. When my mother divorsed my father and getting alimony for my brother (he fought for the lowes he could get) money was tight. My mother worked as a menager and I as a student couldn't get a full time job so i worked in some firms part time and did tutoring whenever I could. We had money to pay the bills and everything but when the month was over we had little savings (we live in a home in a village so there is always something to repair and sometimes it is tough). I wanted to pause my studies and go working but my mother was oposed of that. We fought about it too. So we came to a agreement that I will be living with my brother in our country and my mother will go work abroad. The first couple of weeks were fine but then the controll mode in my mother swithed on. She wanted to know when we get up, when we go to sleep, what we eat, what we are doing etc. And i don't mean like one or two times a day. She wanted to start a call with her on camera and the her everywhere. She was mad because we didn't replay to her messages because we were both in school. And it started to be very pushy, So the accident was yesterday when my brother, me and two of my fiends went out to eat in a restaurant (i didn't want to leave my brother behind and my friends like my brother so there was no problem). So we went out and when my mother found out she started to bombard us with questions like where, with who and other. That was perfectly fine. We answered everything and wanted to enjoy our night. But then She wanted to have pictures of the restaurant, the food - everything. I called her out on the group chat with me, her and my brother that we want to enjoy the food and we will talk to her when we get home. And i thought thats tsht. But then she started to write messages to my brother privetly, with the same questions over and over again. And my brother as a timid person answered. But then we went on a glowing fountain show and i to my brother that he should put his phone in my backpack when we go near water just to be save. The show was over we went bac to my car. Driving back home my brother takes his phone from my backpack and there is like 8 missed calls from our mother. (Quick note I have mostly my phone on silent and everyone who knows me knows that). He picks up the next call from her and then it starts. The screaming "WHERE ARE YOU? DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS? WHY ARE YOU NOT PICKING UP YOUR PHONE? WHY ARE YOU STILL UP? WHERE IS YOUR BROTHER (me)? WHY ISN'T HE PICKING UP HIS PHONE" threats and other things like that. My brother tried to say something but she was cutting him off every time. He was about to cry so I said that he shoul give me on speaker (I was driving). When he did that i said that we will contact her when we will be back and we are on the way home so clearly we ar still not back home. She started to screm something about dangers with driving at night but i screamed back that the only thing distracting me from the road is she right now and she should hang up right now. After that she did hang up. And the next day she was like nothing ever happened. Or so i thought because when we came back from some garden work we get a message that She won't bother us because apparently she's bothering us because she's worried and we don't give a damn about it. And other crap like that. My brother starts crying and tries to phone her and she rejects his call, so he starts to apologise to her via text. I on the other hand locked my self in another room so my brother wouldn't hear me and tear my mother a new one via a voice message that if she wants to be angry at someone that better be angry at me because now brother is crying now because her, he is in distress because of that (She loves to use that kind of manipulation). That if she thougt I'm so irresponsible that i took my brother for a nice trip on a WEEKEND and we came back home at 23:30 again on a WEEKEND where he could sleep how much he wants then thats her problem. She answered that she wants just to make shure he and i are save. And thats what was when i lost it because a month prior she didn't had a problem to arrange for him a bus among strangers and for him to travel 15 hours through 3 countries to her place and leaving him alone in a apartment in a forign country for 9 hours and if she really thinks that guilttripping my brother is a good idea then there is something wrong with her. There were many other things said in that text. She didn't replay to it but wrote to my brother like nothing happens. So Am I wrong to tell my mother off?
submitted by No-Abalone-6205 to AITAH [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 00:01 Emergency_Ad4818 Graduated! Plus updates to all my pregnancy questions I raised on Reddit.
I’m a FTM 27, and I am so happy to have graduated.
First huge thank you to everyone in this subreddit the positivity, solidarity, and feedback has gotten me through some of the worst days during my pregnancy. Labor didn’t go as hoped but baby boy is happy, healthy, already passed his birth weight at 2 weeks and doing so well for a newborn. Here’s some updates for questions or concerns I raised on here though my pregnancy that might help someone else.
(10 weeks) Primarily only being able to eat “kid menu” food:
Yeah it sucked to be so limited but I gained back my normal appetite once my morning sickness went away which was around 15 weeks. It was gradual but by the end of 2nd semester I was able to eat everything I could before minus a few things I personally abstained from such as raw fish, uncooked deli meats, soft cheeses etc.
(13 weeks) When did you start to show?:
I am 5’6” and have a long torso. I started to show enough that some family notices around 20 weeks and enough that strangers noticed around 30. Baby boy layed pretty far back though so despite having a 9lb 1oz baby I still only looked around 7 mo pregnant at 40 weeks.
(14 weeks) Partner dealing with gender disappointment:
She is so happy with our sweet baby boy! The gender disappointment was prevalent all the way up even shortly after he was born. My wife (lesbian couple) really wanted a baby girl but now that we’ve been taking care of him for almost two weeks she’s grown so fond of him. Calls him her sweet little guy and her dear sweet prince. He’s definitely stolen her heart and she can’t give him enough kisses and cuddles.
(14 weeks) First kicks or something else?
It was kicks! They got a little more identifiable a week later. Best way to describe it felt like a tiny flick or popcorn pop, then a rubber band snap, after that it was like a goldfish was bumping around inside. The kicks weren’t the weirdest thing to feel though baby boy had hiccups almost daily and feeling those especially when he dropped was a lot more jarring especially the first few times. Now 2 weeks PP I really miss the kicks and hiccups and wish I could feel them one more time.
(18 weeks) Maternity Clothes:
I ended up wearing my wife’s oversized sweaters cause she’s a size bigger than me and purchases 3 pairs of maternity leggings and 2 pairs of maternity yoga pants. That was enough but again I didn’t get super big at 40 weeks I only looked about 7 mo pregnant. Absolutely worth investing in maternity pants I’m still wearing mine 2 weeks postpartum.
(22 weeks) Miss Hot Baths:
I started taking warm baths around 3rd trimester. It wasn’t the same but I got used to it and even found it relaxing. Wish water didn’t cool off that quickly though I’d constantly find myself adding more hot water to the bath but it made me feel better so it worked.
(26 weeks) Fighting urge to just buy everything off registry:
Don’t! We had so much stuff get bought the week before of our baby shower (had it at 32 weeks) that I ended up throwing more things on my list. It was so amazing to see how much love we received from family and friends. I did cave and bought some things before but I really wish I waited until after the shower to actually buy anything.
(39 weeks) anything that can encourage active labor to start?
Nope! Just patience, and relaxing. My water broke at 40 +1 all on its own after a nice relaxing day and a long deep sleep. Woke up at 6:40 in the morning with the water gushing and it was our sign to go. Stressing and trying to make it go quicker just delayed the inevitable.
(40 weeks) Feeling like a failure at labor:
Here’s the gruesome details of my labor: prodromal labor started Friday at 10am half hour after a membrane sweep when I was 70% effaced and 3cm dilated. Contractions were about 15-20 mins apart at first then got closer and close until about 7pm when they were 5 mins apart for over 2 hours. Went to the hospital and was monitored for 4 hours with no changes so I was sent home and told to come back if the contractions got more severe in intensity, 3 minutes apart or if my water broke. Sunday afternoon I went in again because I was in so much pain and hadn’t been able to sleep for almost 48 hours at that point because the pain would wake me up. They gave me relaxers and pain meds and told me to sleep. Went home after a much needed nap. Monday morning at 6:40 my water broke, we went back to the hospital, and I was given prostaglandin because I was still only 3cm dilated. The prostaglandin worked and after laboring til 4pm I was finally 10cm dilated, 100% effaced, baby was in position and I was able to push. Unfortunately because my baby was so big after 2 hours of pushing he still couldn’t get through and at this point his heart rate was dipping and my blood pressure and temperature were spiking. I was taken to OR for an emergency c section. Baby Boy was born at 6:39 weighing 9.1 and 21.5” long. I still feel like I failed but I am very grateful for my care team and I had an amazing DR. Two weeks PP I am able to walk around, climb stairs, and carry baby with no problems. All things considered despite the disappointment I wasn’t able to give birth vaginally, we both came out of the experience alive, healthy, and happy.
submitted by Emergency_Ad4818 to pregnant [link] [comments]
First huge thank you to everyone in this subreddit the positivity, solidarity, and feedback has gotten me through some of the worst days during my pregnancy. Labor didn’t go as hoped but baby boy is happy, healthy, already passed his birth weight at 2 weeks and doing so well for a newborn. Here’s some updates for questions or concerns I raised on here though my pregnancy that might help someone else.
(10 weeks) Primarily only being able to eat “kid menu” food:
Yeah it sucked to be so limited but I gained back my normal appetite once my morning sickness went away which was around 15 weeks. It was gradual but by the end of 2nd semester I was able to eat everything I could before minus a few things I personally abstained from such as raw fish, uncooked deli meats, soft cheeses etc.
(13 weeks) When did you start to show?:
I am 5’6” and have a long torso. I started to show enough that some family notices around 20 weeks and enough that strangers noticed around 30. Baby boy layed pretty far back though so despite having a 9lb 1oz baby I still only looked around 7 mo pregnant at 40 weeks.
(14 weeks) Partner dealing with gender disappointment:
She is so happy with our sweet baby boy! The gender disappointment was prevalent all the way up even shortly after he was born. My wife (lesbian couple) really wanted a baby girl but now that we’ve been taking care of him for almost two weeks she’s grown so fond of him. Calls him her sweet little guy and her dear sweet prince. He’s definitely stolen her heart and she can’t give him enough kisses and cuddles.
(14 weeks) First kicks or something else?
It was kicks! They got a little more identifiable a week later. Best way to describe it felt like a tiny flick or popcorn pop, then a rubber band snap, after that it was like a goldfish was bumping around inside. The kicks weren’t the weirdest thing to feel though baby boy had hiccups almost daily and feeling those especially when he dropped was a lot more jarring especially the first few times. Now 2 weeks PP I really miss the kicks and hiccups and wish I could feel them one more time.
(18 weeks) Maternity Clothes:
I ended up wearing my wife’s oversized sweaters cause she’s a size bigger than me and purchases 3 pairs of maternity leggings and 2 pairs of maternity yoga pants. That was enough but again I didn’t get super big at 40 weeks I only looked about 7 mo pregnant. Absolutely worth investing in maternity pants I’m still wearing mine 2 weeks postpartum.
(22 weeks) Miss Hot Baths:
I started taking warm baths around 3rd trimester. It wasn’t the same but I got used to it and even found it relaxing. Wish water didn’t cool off that quickly though I’d constantly find myself adding more hot water to the bath but it made me feel better so it worked.
(26 weeks) Fighting urge to just buy everything off registry:
Don’t! We had so much stuff get bought the week before of our baby shower (had it at 32 weeks) that I ended up throwing more things on my list. It was so amazing to see how much love we received from family and friends. I did cave and bought some things before but I really wish I waited until after the shower to actually buy anything.
(39 weeks) anything that can encourage active labor to start?
Nope! Just patience, and relaxing. My water broke at 40 +1 all on its own after a nice relaxing day and a long deep sleep. Woke up at 6:40 in the morning with the water gushing and it was our sign to go. Stressing and trying to make it go quicker just delayed the inevitable.
(40 weeks) Feeling like a failure at labor:
Here’s the gruesome details of my labor: prodromal labor started Friday at 10am half hour after a membrane sweep when I was 70% effaced and 3cm dilated. Contractions were about 15-20 mins apart at first then got closer and close until about 7pm when they were 5 mins apart for over 2 hours. Went to the hospital and was monitored for 4 hours with no changes so I was sent home and told to come back if the contractions got more severe in intensity, 3 minutes apart or if my water broke. Sunday afternoon I went in again because I was in so much pain and hadn’t been able to sleep for almost 48 hours at that point because the pain would wake me up. They gave me relaxers and pain meds and told me to sleep. Went home after a much needed nap. Monday morning at 6:40 my water broke, we went back to the hospital, and I was given prostaglandin because I was still only 3cm dilated. The prostaglandin worked and after laboring til 4pm I was finally 10cm dilated, 100% effaced, baby was in position and I was able to push. Unfortunately because my baby was so big after 2 hours of pushing he still couldn’t get through and at this point his heart rate was dipping and my blood pressure and temperature were spiking. I was taken to OR for an emergency c section. Baby Boy was born at 6:39 weighing 9.1 and 21.5” long. I still feel like I failed but I am very grateful for my care team and I had an amazing DR. Two weeks PP I am able to walk around, climb stairs, and carry baby with no problems. All things considered despite the disappointment I wasn’t able to give birth vaginally, we both came out of the experience alive, healthy, and happy.
2024.05.19 00:01 Unique-Chicken-5763 🪓Understanding the Potential Side Effects of Penis Enlargement Devices
Penis enlargement devices promise size enhancement and better sexual performance, but they pose risks. This content alerts users to potential side effects, enabling informed decisions about sexual health.
🥒Tissue Damage:🥒
Penis enlargement devices can cause tissue damage like bruising, swelling, and tearing with excessive or improper use. Long-term usage may lead to scarring and deformities, impacting appearance and function.
Erectile Dysfunction:
Prolonged use of penis enlargement devices may raise the risk of erectile dysfunction (ED) by disrupting blood flow and nerve function, making erections difficult to achieve or maintain.
🍌Pain and Discomfort:🍌
Many users report pain and discomfort with penis enlargement devices due to pressure and tension, causing sensations of soreness, numbness, or burning, making device use unpleasant or intolerable
Risk of infection:
Inadequate cleaning of penis enlargement devices can lead to infections as bacteria or fungi thrive in the warm, moist environment, causing urinary tract or genital skin infections.
🌽Natural and Unique Exercise:🌽
Our male enhancement program guarantees a growth of up to 4 inches within a 4-week period, achieved solely through natural exercises. There are no pills or devices involved, ensuring safety and avoiding any risk of injury. Your well-being is our top priority. Watch our video tutorial and learn more.
submitted by Unique-Chicken-5763 to growthmatrixUK [link] [comments]
🥒Tissue Damage:🥒
Penis enlargement devices can cause tissue damage like bruising, swelling, and tearing with excessive or improper use. Long-term usage may lead to scarring and deformities, impacting appearance and function.
Erectile Dysfunction:
Prolonged use of penis enlargement devices may raise the risk of erectile dysfunction (ED) by disrupting blood flow and nerve function, making erections difficult to achieve or maintain.
🍌Pain and Discomfort:🍌
Many users report pain and discomfort with penis enlargement devices due to pressure and tension, causing sensations of soreness, numbness, or burning, making device use unpleasant or intolerable
Risk of infection:
Inadequate cleaning of penis enlargement devices can lead to infections as bacteria or fungi thrive in the warm, moist environment, causing urinary tract or genital skin infections.
🌽Natural and Unique Exercise:🌽
Our male enhancement program guarantees a growth of up to 4 inches within a 4-week period, achieved solely through natural exercises. There are no pills or devices involved, ensuring safety and avoiding any risk of injury. Your well-being is our top priority. Watch our video tutorial and learn more.
2024.05.19 00:00 Odd-Watch-7904 My best friend 23F chose a toxic man over me 23f. How to stop feeling sad?
I 23F and my friend 23F have been inseparable since we were freshman I’m high school. I’ve loved her through all the mistakes she’s made and have never judged her for any of them (Even though they were horrible) i can confidently say I’ve been a very good friend to her. Suddenly she’d been a little distant so i asked her to hang out to catch up (she works more than fourty hours a week in the summer, not hearing from her for a while is the norm but we go through phases of talking every day and not talking for a few weeks bc life.) She tells me she met a guy 30M and they’ve been dating for four months and plan on getting married within the next month. While we were hanging out he texts her and is just being so toxic, the type who tries to “catch her in a lie” when she’s not lying about anything and interrogate her so badly that she had ME replying for her bc it stresses her out so bad, she says he brings up the same things every week and does this all the time. I hasn’t heard from her after this in a month or two so was texting her here and there to make sure she’s okay. Our friends also were texting me asking if i had heard from her. She changed her number to be on his phone plan and texted me from her new number. She suddenly FaceTimed me saying she’s cutting everyone including her own sister off because she’s just “in a different place in life, more mature, and it’s normal to mature and not talk to people anymore and was mad that i shared her number with our friends” when she hadn’t told me not to and i wasn’t aware that was her intentions. I texted her a whole paragraph of how i see red flags in this man and what she’s saying doesn’t make sense and how she’s been in one other relationship ever so i think this is moving too fast. her friends aren’t bums and half are in med school and live by themselves so it doesn’t make sense that they’re not “mature” enough for her. Haven’t heard from her since but now i know she’s pregnant and going to give birth shortly. I texted her on her birthday just saying “happy birthday miss you hope you’re doing something fun” and got no reply. How do you guys stop feeling sad after a loved one chooses a man over you? Especially when it doesn’t seem like a man who treats her well.
EDIT: for context the red flags are: never wanting to meet any of her friends even after i invited them both out multiple times to hang out (and expressed i wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt), she was SUPER into body building and would use Instagram to track her progress and soon after they started dating she deleted ALL social media including Snapchat, would make her feel bad for past mistakes and victim blame her, would constantly tell her he’s worried she’s “too young for him” and would “change her mind about him in a year” and she would then have to convince him otherwise.
TLDR: my best friend chose a toxic man over me. Any advice on how to stop feeling sad about it?
submitted by Odd-Watch-7904 to Advice [link] [comments]
EDIT: for context the red flags are: never wanting to meet any of her friends even after i invited them both out multiple times to hang out (and expressed i wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt), she was SUPER into body building and would use Instagram to track her progress and soon after they started dating she deleted ALL social media including Snapchat, would make her feel bad for past mistakes and victim blame her, would constantly tell her he’s worried she’s “too young for him” and would “change her mind about him in a year” and she would then have to convince him otherwise.
TLDR: my best friend chose a toxic man over me. Any advice on how to stop feeling sad about it?
2024.05.18 23:59 JoyLea Reversing Indifference
Background: Husband (34) and I (30) are in the process of recovering after about 8 years of his serial lying and cheating. We have two small kids, built a wonderful life for ourselves, and I really pride myself on our family unit.
After his last bout of lying about women a little over a year ago, he started DBT therapy and took it very seriously. He ACTUALLY seems to have changed. He recognizes his past trauma that was unhealthy. He is an Army veteran and so there’s definitely a lot to unpack there, which he’s finally doing. He’s been working so, so hard for about 10 months. I see the effort and I HAVE seen some really positive changes as well. I want to give him credit for that because it did take so much work for him to get the help he needed. He’s doing great, for the first time ever.
However, I had to leave for a military obligation (I also am serving) and have been gone for about 6 months. We all visit at least once a month…but that’s where all the problems came to my attention.
I’m not that happy to see him whenever I do. It’s not that I’m unhappy or that I dread it…he’s just kind of a guy that’s in my house with the kids. I don’t miss him. I’m happy to see my children and miss them painfully every single day, so I don’t think I’m emotionally entirely broken. But when my husband and I reunite, I can’t even remember to kiss him and when I do it’s just so I can check it off my checklist of stuff I know “normal” couples do. I don’t feel like I can really be intimate (I’ve tried. It feels like I have to talk myself into it every time.) I don’t feel any desire or attraction. I can’t imagine making out with him. It’s almost like I still am living in a “me vs him” mentality and being intimate would be like sleeping with the enemy. How fucked is that?
We have almost nothing to talk about and everything, to me, seems so forced and awkward. He tries to keep them going because he’s trying to connect with me, but I just never feel like having a fake conversation. He never makes me laugh. I’m super silly, but I don’t feel like we can play together or joke or really do anything. We just talk about the kids and then ask each other dry questions about our day before I can’t take it anymore and make up an excuse to stop talking. It’s all taking a toll and I feel like he doesn’t even know who I am. I struggle to even care enough to want to know who he is now. I thought I knew him, but apparently I had no idea.
He says he feels unwanted because he’s always missing me and happy to see me but I’m cold and physically unavailable. I don’t even hug him. I told him that if he feels unwanted that he should try being me…I’ve always been 2nd, 3rd, or 4th place to whatever girl he was trying to be with at the moment. I can’t get these types of thoughts out of my head. I don’t think he loves me even though he shows me every day with how hard he’s working in therapy.
He sends me gifts, flowers and seems to think of me often, but when it comes down to it I struggle to meet him halfway. I almost look at his kind gestures like he doesn’t mean it…it’s only just so he can say he’s tried. I say thank you but I don’t feel anything…
I don’t know why I can’t bring myself to loosen up or to love him again. For the first time, he’s actually trying. He’s doing everything I needed from him the entire time. I’m frustrated with myself.
I’m away until at least January and he’s home with the kids, so divorce isn’t an option. I’d love to use this time away as a way to try and build us back up. I can’t help but feel like I’m the problem now. He’s doing all this work and I’m just so shut down I can’t even really feel the results for myself.
I WANT to want him. I want to laugh and like him. I want to get lost in conversation…I wish he was my friend again but I just cannot get myself to allow him to even see me be goofy. It feels too vulnerable. My trust is so far gone that I don’t even CARE if I’m being lied to or not (I don’t think I am, for the record). I just live day to day and try not to think about it all.
Has anybody been through anything similar? I want to reconcile. I want to recover. But I’m in my own way. How can I get through this? I don’t even know who I am…who he is…how can I help myself? Are there any specific methods you used to love again? Any thought processes that particularly helped you? Books? Podcasts? Talking points? I am open to anything.
submitted by JoyLea to AsOneAfterInfidelity [link] [comments]
After his last bout of lying about women a little over a year ago, he started DBT therapy and took it very seriously. He ACTUALLY seems to have changed. He recognizes his past trauma that was unhealthy. He is an Army veteran and so there’s definitely a lot to unpack there, which he’s finally doing. He’s been working so, so hard for about 10 months. I see the effort and I HAVE seen some really positive changes as well. I want to give him credit for that because it did take so much work for him to get the help he needed. He’s doing great, for the first time ever.
However, I had to leave for a military obligation (I also am serving) and have been gone for about 6 months. We all visit at least once a month…but that’s where all the problems came to my attention.
I’m not that happy to see him whenever I do. It’s not that I’m unhappy or that I dread it…he’s just kind of a guy that’s in my house with the kids. I don’t miss him. I’m happy to see my children and miss them painfully every single day, so I don’t think I’m emotionally entirely broken. But when my husband and I reunite, I can’t even remember to kiss him and when I do it’s just so I can check it off my checklist of stuff I know “normal” couples do. I don’t feel like I can really be intimate (I’ve tried. It feels like I have to talk myself into it every time.) I don’t feel any desire or attraction. I can’t imagine making out with him. It’s almost like I still am living in a “me vs him” mentality and being intimate would be like sleeping with the enemy. How fucked is that?
We have almost nothing to talk about and everything, to me, seems so forced and awkward. He tries to keep them going because he’s trying to connect with me, but I just never feel like having a fake conversation. He never makes me laugh. I’m super silly, but I don’t feel like we can play together or joke or really do anything. We just talk about the kids and then ask each other dry questions about our day before I can’t take it anymore and make up an excuse to stop talking. It’s all taking a toll and I feel like he doesn’t even know who I am. I struggle to even care enough to want to know who he is now. I thought I knew him, but apparently I had no idea.
He says he feels unwanted because he’s always missing me and happy to see me but I’m cold and physically unavailable. I don’t even hug him. I told him that if he feels unwanted that he should try being me…I’ve always been 2nd, 3rd, or 4th place to whatever girl he was trying to be with at the moment. I can’t get these types of thoughts out of my head. I don’t think he loves me even though he shows me every day with how hard he’s working in therapy.
He sends me gifts, flowers and seems to think of me often, but when it comes down to it I struggle to meet him halfway. I almost look at his kind gestures like he doesn’t mean it…it’s only just so he can say he’s tried. I say thank you but I don’t feel anything…
I don’t know why I can’t bring myself to loosen up or to love him again. For the first time, he’s actually trying. He’s doing everything I needed from him the entire time. I’m frustrated with myself.
I’m away until at least January and he’s home with the kids, so divorce isn’t an option. I’d love to use this time away as a way to try and build us back up. I can’t help but feel like I’m the problem now. He’s doing all this work and I’m just so shut down I can’t even really feel the results for myself.
I WANT to want him. I want to laugh and like him. I want to get lost in conversation…I wish he was my friend again but I just cannot get myself to allow him to even see me be goofy. It feels too vulnerable. My trust is so far gone that I don’t even CARE if I’m being lied to or not (I don’t think I am, for the record). I just live day to day and try not to think about it all.
Has anybody been through anything similar? I want to reconcile. I want to recover. But I’m in my own way. How can I get through this? I don’t even know who I am…who he is…how can I help myself? Are there any specific methods you used to love again? Any thought processes that particularly helped you? Books? Podcasts? Talking points? I am open to anything.
2024.05.18 23:56 Agreeable_Income3763 Six Senses Kanuhura Island, Maldives – Family Summer Offer
Six Senses Kanuhura – Family Summer Offer
Posted on May 18, 2024 by Andrew LarderSix Senses Kanuhura Island, Maldives – Family Summer Offer
SUMMER FAMILY OFFER Book by Extension: June 30, 2024 Travel period: April 6 to September 30, 2024 Exclusive family offer for children aged 0-11 years: • Complimentary accommodation and Full-board meal plan when sharing villa with two (2) paying adults. • Complimentary return seaplane transfer, following our contracted maximum villa occupancy with number of children. Please take note of the following important terms and conditions: • Offer is valid for minimum of 4 nights stay. • Offer is valid for Worldwide market. • Children can select dishes from designated kids’ menu of each F&B outlet. • The “Children eat free” offer does not extend into in-villa dining, destination dining and dining at Drift restaurant. • Offer is available strictly for new bookings only and valid for all villa categories, except Beach Villa. • Offer is combinable with all valid contracted and/or tactical offers. • Above offer is subject to stop sales with two-business days advance notice. • Above offer is not applicable to groups, conferences, or meetings of five (5) villas or more travelling together, nor industry/travel agency rates. • All other Terms & Conditions as per the main contract agreement. The following complimentary inclusions apply to all bookings: • Standard fruit basket on arrival. • Personalized bicycle tags and take away the initials on the bicycle. • Unlimited wireless internet. • Complimentary access to spa with use of sauna and steam room (recommended to book 30 minutes in advance) plus fitness center. • Complimentary usage of kayak and stand-up paddleboard at Water Sports Beach. • Complimentary weekly scheduled Sustainability tour with highlights on organic farm planting/ hydroponics and Earth Lab projects. • Complimentary daily ice cream from Scoops. • 24-hour Guest Experience Maker (GEM) butler service for your entire stay.A tropical beach haven; the reinvention of a Maldivian island icon
An iconic Maldivian island, reborn. This laid-back retreat is known for being home to the finest beaches in the Maldives. Encompassing three private islands, Six Senses Kanuhura resort is a short seaplane ride from Malé International Airport or speedboat transfer from the pristine Lhaviyani Atoll. With 91 spacious beach, family, and overwater pool villas, the lagoon is at your feet, where the vibrant reef protects our resident turtles and marine life. Adventures abound in this paradise found with food, fun, family moments and new friends when you seek connection, and peaceful seclusion when you seek an island escape.9 Experiences
Six Senses KanuhuraJump (or splash) into immersive Maldives experiences Explore the Maldives’ vibrant reefs while snorkeling or dive into the deep blue, discover the secrets of growing veggies in our garden or orchids in the nursery, dine on our sandy shores, indulge in a relaxing spa treatment or take a walk on the island’s beaches for your morning workout. And if you don’t want to do anything: just sit back, chill on the sunbeds and enjoy the ocean view.
Castaway Picnic at Masleggihuraa Escape the world on a deserted island, yours for the day.
Maldives Sunset Dolphin Dhoni Cruise Sunset sips and dolphins.
Ocean Watersports in the Maldives Splash, paddle or play in the turquoise waters of the lagoon.
Scuba Diving in the Maldives Lhaviyani atoll Whether you are a diving newbie or a certified diver, we have you covered.
Traditional Maldives Islands Fishing Master the art of handline fishing, Maldivian style.
Maldives Sustainability Tour Join us on a tour behind the scenes finishing with a highlight: the rare and wild beauty of locally grown orchids.
Sunken Table Dining Experience A unique dining experience on the beach.
Lunch at Drift Castaway lunch on a deserted tropical island.
Orchid Gardeners Spend some time among colorful orchids.
Little Turtles of Kanuhura
Little feet leave big footprints in our hearts and we would like to make sure that our little VIP guests have a memorable time in the Maldives at our family-friendly resort. Grow With Six Senses Children’s Club offers an array of activities suitable for children of all ages, which include crafts, beach and pool games, treasure hunts, children’s yoga and many more fun, creative and educational games.Six Senses Kanuhura Reservations
Contact me to book a stay at any Six Senses Resort, worldwide:Andrew Larder, FORA Travel Advisor
Help Spread The Word!
- Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
- More
Like this:
Related
Six Senses Con Dao 2024 offer
May 18, 2024In "Travel"
Six Senses Krabey Offers
May 18, 2024In "Travel"
Six Senses Rome – Roma Italia – Discounts
March 30, 2024In "Travel"
TravelMaldives Six Senses, Sis Senses Family Offer, Six Senses, Six Senses Deal, Six Senses Kanuhura, Six Senses Kanuhura Booking, Six Senses Kanuhura Family Summer Offer, Six Senses Kanuhura Island, Six Senses Kanuhura Reservations, Six Senses Maldives, Six Senses ResortSix Senses Kanuhura – Family Summer Offer
2024.05.18 23:54 ExtensionAnxiety8354 Getting over a breakup where you still love each other?
I got broken up with because my ex has deep self hatred and self doubt issues. We were long distance (3 hours) and while we haven't met yet, it was the healthiest relationship I ever had. He treated me so well. Our first meet up was already planned and he was learning my language too because he wanted to move to my country after university.
When he broke up with me, he said that he can't give me what I deserve and that I deserve so, so much more. That he has issues with himself and that he feels he needs to be alone with himself for a while to solve these issues. The distance is making this too hard and he lost himself somewhere along the way. But he doesn't regret a single thing and these past 3 months were the best months he's ever had in his life. He loves me and wants what's best for me.
And I know this whole "you deserve better" is often a stupid excuse but I genuinely believe him. I've known for a while that he struggles with this, I've seen it for weeks. But he always fought against it and it never affected our relationship, he always said we could do this. It only got that bad a few days before he broke up with me. Back then, he said his self hatred runs deep and sometimes he feels like we're a "right person wrong time" kind of situation. And I've come to terms with the fact that it wouldn't have worked out until he solved his mental issues and that I wouldn't have been able to convince him that he's good enough. He has to realize that himself. And he would've broken sooner or later. He was about to start finals when he broke up with me, I suppose the stress was what finally made him break. It's not even been two weeks but it's so hard to accept that this is the end. If he fell out of love with me then at least I wouldn't be hoping and dreaming of getting back together when he's feeling better. I know I have to stay realistic, or rather pessimistic, so I don't get hurt when we don't get back together again.
We've been NC since the break up, he removed/ blocked me everywhere and asked his friends to remove me too. I didn't get why at first but I asked one of his friends that hadn't removed me yet and he said that my ex asked them to so we could both get over it. This friend also said that one time, I mentioned to my ex that seeing people associated to a previous ex on social media reminded me of the relationship, so he asked his own friends to remove me.
I don't know, it's all so confusing and painful. His reasons are valid and I'm glad he's taking a step into the direction of working on himself. I just wish he could do it with me there. And I wish I could stop hoping we'll work it out in the future. I'm hurting myself so much with it but I can't turn it off.
I just feel so lonely. I've been talking to friends but nothing helps when the person you spent hours texting with every day is suddenly gone. And I feel so jealous that his friends are there for him. I just don't feel understood or supported enough by my friends right now.
Getting over a relationship where you both still love each other is so incredibly hard, I don't know how I'm ever supposed to :(
submitted by ExtensionAnxiety8354 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
When he broke up with me, he said that he can't give me what I deserve and that I deserve so, so much more. That he has issues with himself and that he feels he needs to be alone with himself for a while to solve these issues. The distance is making this too hard and he lost himself somewhere along the way. But he doesn't regret a single thing and these past 3 months were the best months he's ever had in his life. He loves me and wants what's best for me.
And I know this whole "you deserve better" is often a stupid excuse but I genuinely believe him. I've known for a while that he struggles with this, I've seen it for weeks. But he always fought against it and it never affected our relationship, he always said we could do this. It only got that bad a few days before he broke up with me. Back then, he said his self hatred runs deep and sometimes he feels like we're a "right person wrong time" kind of situation. And I've come to terms with the fact that it wouldn't have worked out until he solved his mental issues and that I wouldn't have been able to convince him that he's good enough. He has to realize that himself. And he would've broken sooner or later. He was about to start finals when he broke up with me, I suppose the stress was what finally made him break. It's not even been two weeks but it's so hard to accept that this is the end. If he fell out of love with me then at least I wouldn't be hoping and dreaming of getting back together when he's feeling better. I know I have to stay realistic, or rather pessimistic, so I don't get hurt when we don't get back together again.
We've been NC since the break up, he removed/ blocked me everywhere and asked his friends to remove me too. I didn't get why at first but I asked one of his friends that hadn't removed me yet and he said that my ex asked them to so we could both get over it. This friend also said that one time, I mentioned to my ex that seeing people associated to a previous ex on social media reminded me of the relationship, so he asked his own friends to remove me.
I don't know, it's all so confusing and painful. His reasons are valid and I'm glad he's taking a step into the direction of working on himself. I just wish he could do it with me there. And I wish I could stop hoping we'll work it out in the future. I'm hurting myself so much with it but I can't turn it off.
I just feel so lonely. I've been talking to friends but nothing helps when the person you spent hours texting with every day is suddenly gone. And I feel so jealous that his friends are there for him. I just don't feel understood or supported enough by my friends right now.
Getting over a relationship where you both still love each other is so incredibly hard, I don't know how I'm ever supposed to :(