To start, used to solely be a bot player. I’d only ever fight bugs if they were part of an MO. Recently, I don’t when, fighting bots just started to feel unfair and unfun. So I’m just going to make a list of things that I think are a part of that.

1. Rocket Devastators. I’m glad that they nerfed their rockets so that they no longer one-shot. But their reload speed is crazy fast, so that by the time their rocket hits me, they already have more coming. God forbid there is more than one, which there almost always is. The rockets are also crazy accurate, and it feels like it’s programmed so one will always hit you.
   
2. Heavy Devastators. I was at a point where I would use a stratagem JUST for these guys, they were that bad. The non-stop machine gun fire that would kill you in less than a second, the pinpoint accuracy, the fact that they can sometimes shoot through terrain AND don’t even need to be aiming at you in order to do so.
   
3. Escort Missions. I’m pretty sure these missions are just full up broken. The dropships are phasing through each other because there are so many, and they go on for the whole mission. My friend and I have never once won these missions even when lowering the difficulty to 4, and we usually play at 7-8.
   
4. Flinching Ability. When people complain about Devastators, others will just dismiss them and say “just aim for the head bro.” But this is nearly impossible if there is more than three enemies shooting at you, because each hit you take will shift your aim 90 degrees in a random direction.
   
5. Random one-shot deaths. I’d be at full health, and sometimes just get hit by a stray laser and die immediately. This has happened against every enemy, but the most common has been scout striders. I don’t know what causes this.
   
6. The amount of things that rag-doll me. Rocket raiders, rocket devastators, laser cannons, command bunkers, rocket hulks, annihilator tanks, grenades, berserkers, the suicide bombers, and the occasional random laser that will make me trip. I just feel like I’m spending 1/4 of the mission rolling on the ground.
   

Combine all these, and it’s become a really unenjoyable time. I like having a challenge, but not when it feels this unfair. It feels like I’m putting so much up to pure luck rather than actual skill and strategy. I’m certainly going to be playing bugs until the bot front is addressed, and much less overall.

This is something I've been working on for a while, and I'm excited to be able to share it with other people who enjoy card creation.
I realize most people won't read most of this post, so I'll put the important parts first. I am grateful for and open to any feedback you have on individual card designs, mechanics, and set design!
This is my first time creating an entire custom set, but as someone who has long enjoyed and played Limited, my goal was to make a fully draftable set with archetypes for each color combination, the right distribution of cards at each color and rarity, etc.
The set, created with MSE, contains 285 cards (259 excluding basic lands and alternate printings) and 14 tokens.
This custom set is an adaptation of the Netflix anime "DOTA: Dragon's Blood" animated by Studio Mir. (Why this show? The color design, loose magic system, epic scale, and different factions in the show were perfect for adapting into cards. I acknowledge that some of my design choices might make less sense without knowledge of the show.)
The best way to view the cards is via this PDF (Google Drive), which includes all the cards in one place, sorted into the same categories listed below.
Alternatively, you can view each category by itself either on imgur or in Google Drive:

• Rares and Mythics: imgur, Google Drive
• Three-Color Sagas: imgur, Google Drive
• Three-Color Uncommons: imgur, Google Drive
• Two-Color Signpost Uncommons: imgur, Google Drive
• Commons and Uncommons (by color): imgur, Google Drive
• Lands (all rarities): imgur (nonbasics), imgur (basics), Google Drive (all)
• Alternate art special printings: imgur, Google Drive
• Tokens: imgur, Google Drive

You can also just find all 299 images, in alphabetical order, here: imgur, Google Drive.
The set is on PlaneSculptors so you can do draft/sealed with it there:
https://www.planesculptors.net/set/dota-dragons-blood-v3
A few more notes:

• While each color pair has a theme/mechanic (see below), I designed this set to support three-color decks. Each three-color combo has its own saga and signpost uncommon, and each loosely represents one of the factions from the show.
  
• I made this set according to the old set design format, i.e., the way draft was before play boosters and Murders at Karlov Manor. (Hence why I wanted to post the set before people forget too much about the way things used to be!)
  
• I did not think much about how these cards would interact with the rest of Magic, break other formats, etc., because my main goal was to make a draftable set. There were times I meticulously checked the power of my cards against historical precedent and times I intentionally pushed the boundaries of what Wizards usually makes. I'll be curious to know if anything is obviously and egregiously broken (besides the three versions of The Invoker).
  
• As of this post, none of the cards have the same name as real MTG cards, so you should be able to import them into Cockatrice without issue (Cockatrice package in Google Drive).
  
• The show I adapted is based on the game DOTA 2 by Valve. I have not played this game myself, so, with only a few exceptions, these cards solely represent the characters and events as portrayed in the show, not the game.
  

New mechanics:

• Mourn – you get special benefits if a permanent (often a creature) you control leaves the battlefield this turn.
• Assault – you get special benefits if (or whenever) damage has been dealt this turn. Often, these benefits apply to combat, so you need to deal damage before combat
• Command – activate useful abilities by tapping your own creatures
• (I also reused Convoke)

Color pairs archetypes:

• WU (Azorius): “Mourn” mechanic
• WB (Orzhov): “Command” mechanic
• WR (Boros): attacking. Simple aggro, with ways to remove or tap your opponent’s stuff. (Add U or B for evasion, G for poweramp.)
• WG (Selesnya): Convoke, tapping your creatures for mana.
• UB (Dimir): create tokens and make opponents discard. Pairs well with BR (sacrifice) and WB (Command)
• UR (Izzet): noncreature spells (not just instants/sorceries)
• UG (Simic): scrying and drawing extra cards
• BR (Rakdos): sacrificing things. Can be aggro (add W or G) or control (add U).
• BG (Golgari): likes it when stuff dies and when stuff is in graveyards.
• RG (Gruul): “Assault” mechanic

The mechanics (and the way I made the cards) primarily reflect the flavor of the show, which was one of my main goals.
If you want to read more about the set, see this PDF (Google Drive).
While the card designs are all mine, the art is all taken from the show and thus belongs to Netflix and Studio Mir. The names, events, etc. belong to Netflix and Valve.
I am very happy with the story and art I got to work with in making this set; some of my favorite art includes the special printings of Mirana, the Sun Ascendant and Temple Ruins; Tower Rebuilt; the special Treasure token; Draconic Confrontation; Moon Rupture; Remember; Astral Realm; all the sagas; and all the land, especially basics.

I [19N] have been part of a close-knit friend group [me, 20F, 19F, and 18F] since we all met during our freshman year of college. This past semester, my friend group has been spending a lot of time with another girl [20F] who has kind of been integrating herself into the group.
When I first met her, she was perfectly nice to me until about 30-45 minutes later when I noticed she started to look at me weird, and I've never felt good vibes from her since then.
Now to be clear I was originally born male however I've had gender dysphoria since I was a kid and I have identified as nonbinary since I was old enough to know what that meant, and I use they/them pronouns. I'm pretty androgynous, and because I have long hair and boobs/feminine figure/etc a lot of people just assume I'm a woman, which I don't really mind. But it kind of felt like she turned on me when she realized I was AMAB nonbinary and not a cisgender woman.
Every once in a while she says something very feminist-y, like real political feminism, not the mainstream, Buzzfeed/Jezebel/Vox, kind of feminism. A lot of the stuff she says I agree with or see some merit in, but sometimes the things she said seemed off to me or like they were targeted or veiled comments. However I am friends with people who I don't agree with on everything and I chose to let it slide.
However I started to notice what seemed like it could be a correlation between something about me coming up in conversation and the comments she would make.
eg (I'm paraphrasing her in all of these cases, I don't remember her exact words):
She learned my girlfriend at the time had broken up with me and I was taking it kinda hard (since when is that a crime??), and sometime after that she said "men only think of women they date as objects, they think that they deserve her as a sexual object and then get upset, throw fits, and become violent when she exerts her autonomy and leaves them" (just tbc I was never violent and I completely do think she had every right to break up with me, I was just really sad about it for a while)
She learned that I had been put in the female dormitory wing when I was hospitalized for mental health reasons in high school (which was not even a choice I made, I was put there because they thought I'd be safer), and sometime after that she commented that "men don't belong in women's spaces, I will never compromise women's safety for the comfort of males"
She learned I had been in an relationship with a guy who abused me emotionally and physically, and sometime after she commented that "[she] had no sympathy for men who are hurt by other men, because men don't have sympathy for women who are raped or abused so why should [she] be expected to feel sympathy for men"
Am I being totally paranoid? She's never said anything outright, and I'm just assuming all these things are about me when they could be about anything. This has all happened over the span of months, and there were days or even weeks in between all of the examples I listed about her learning something about me and her making a comment I thought might be related to it.
She's on multiple occasions tried to make plans with all of our other mutual friends (all of whom are cis women), leaving only me out, so I'm pretty confident she dislikes me, but I can't hold that against her personally, hell I don't like her either but as long as it's civil I don't mind it.
I'm scared to express this to our friends. I think they would side with me in a heartbeat and cut her off if I asked, but if I'm wrong and she's just misguided instead of personally trying to spite me I'd feel terrible. If I'm right, I absolutely want nothing to do with someone who would mock the fact I was abused because of my chromosomes. Even if I were a real man, that would be completely not ok.
I don't want to approach her about this personally and seem like a freak, bc I think she'll deny it either way and probably use it against me like I have something against her. (Which, I guess I do).
I honestly strongly feel that many of her comments were offensive either way, regardless of whether they were targeted. But I guess being trans is a controversial issue in some places and I don't want to assume she's a bad person just because she has some harmful beliefs.

Hey everyone! Random Appalachian here. I just wanted to check back in with you all and provide some updates, as well as some exciting, if personal, news. I have to type this quick, as my work break ends soon, so pardon any typos, grammatical errors, or weirdly structured sentences.
For those of you who don’t know, I’m a park ranger in real life, and work at a wildlife reserve in Ohio. We’ve been having some issues with vandalism in our northern woods for a few months, and despite our best attempts, haven’t been able to find the culprit. It’s been immensely frustrating, especially when more paint has shown up on more trails, ranging from slashes, lines, and crosses, to dots and even letters. Normally we wouldn’t get too bent out of shape over a few trees being painted, but it’s well over 60 at this point, and widespread throughout the forest. None of the official people who help us maintain the trails in that area say they are responsible, and yet many of the markings seem to be blazes for trails. However the markings are at times absurdly close together, or in abstract places that make no logical sense. One “trail” is no more than perhaps 30 yards long and runs right along a massive clearing in a semi-circle, within plain sight of the clearing, and goes to nowhere; it goes into the woods, and pops back out into the clearing only 30-ish yards away. Most of our established trails that have been painted already have well-made trail markings of our own, and the trails are well-blazed. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to why these things are there at all. I don’t think it’s anything sinister, though the painter has left his/her paint cans in the woods before, so at the very least, they’re a litterbug. There is the concern about potential poaching, which can be a problem in our area. Sure, deer and turkey are commonplace in my rural community, but they are only that way because of conservation and game laws that keep populations intact. Local hunters play a big part in conservation, and if someone starts taking more than their fair share through poaching, that means less for everyone else, and upsets the balance of things. The sad thing is, unlike legal hunters who often hunt for meat for their families, (food is expensive nowadays) poachers usually do it for trophies, antlers, or ‘fans’ from the turkey tail-feathers. But our painter has yet to take any game to our knowledge. We’ve found no gut piles, blood, or discarded gear anywhere. So, if he’s not poaching . . . what on earth does he want?
Then a few weeks ago, we did find a camera inside our central perimeter.
To put this into perspective, we have roughly 10,000 acres to our little reserve. Only 1/3 is fenced in, containing our exotic animals for our tours, and our buildings that we use to operate. Offices, mechanical garages, barns, and storage sheds, that sort of thing. Usually if we have trespassing issues, it's in the northern woods, which is open to the public for walking/biking trails. Sometimes in the southern prairie reserve we get some wanderers, but it's pretty open, so people tend to shy away from it. But our interior, the central area, most of which is fenced in, is sacred ground for us. We have a children’s camp in there for kids to learn about nature, we have our animal barns, and even some staff housing. For people to walk around in there would be like a stranger walking through your bedroom at night, while you’re in the shower.
Not cool. Not cool at all.
One of our ecology survey teams found the camera in a lesser-used section a mile or so north of the children’s camp. Naturally, they assumed it was one of ours, until one of the staff innocently asked another ranger why we’d put a camera by that lake. When the ranger told her that we didn’t have any cameras there, it began to sink in.
We either have two trespassers, or the painter has decided to move his game further into our land.
I’m hoping it’s the former, that I’m overthinking things, but after all, the mystery painter had to have seen a few of the trail cameras we put up in the north to catch him. Could he be doing this as a form of tit-for-tat? I don’t know, but it’s got us rangers frustrated, and our ecology team is spooked. It was fun and games in the unpopulated north, but now he’s getting close to our people, our guests, and our animals. This is serious now. We removed the camera, but there’s not really much we can do without more patrols, more cameras, and more rangers. With our budget already restricted, the last part just isn’t possible.
My foray into trail cameras yielded no results as to a culprit. In fact, the day I came in early to pull them out of the field, it seemed nothing went right. Only two came off the tree, as I forgot the keys for the locks for the other two. I couldn’t find the last one at first, and darkness fell before I could locate it, so that I was wandering around in the northern district in the blackness searching for it. Inadvertently this helped me find the camera in the end; I saw the red light flash as it took my picture and was able to retrieve the SD card. It was in my long return trek to the patrol truck that I discovered the marks on a remote trail I hadn’t walked yet. A capital O and a capital N were scrawled in various places, with dots over the letters. I took German in university, so I know they aren’t grammatical marks from that language, known as umlauts (pronounced as “oomlout” for my fellow English speakers; for all my German speakers, if I spelled that wrong, I apologize). I’d left my phone in the truck (stupid rookie move for a seasoned ranger, I know) so I couldn’t take any photos, and didn’t want to follow the trail too far in the pitch dark. I had a flashlight with spare batteries, as well as my gun (I’m not a complete moron after all) but I didn’t have time to do much exploring, since I had other duties in the park that were waiting on me. I had some VIP’s that were coming in late, and had to be escorted, which meant I had to clamber back to my truck, swatting at mosquitos the whole way. Nothing on the cameras showed any definitive proof, though we might have a lead on a guy with a bow case on his back. Could be nothing though; it’s not illegal to wear camo or carry things, and it could very well have been a camera case, a backpack, or an empty bow case.
In any event, we rangers are working on a strategy for changing up our patrol routes and putting more cameras in the field, as well as checking in on the children’s camp frequently throughout the night. So far, this mystery person hasn’t actually hurt anything that we know of, but even if this is just local kids having a prank, it’s not funny anymore.
Anyway, on to the other news. For the aforementioned reasons, as well as others, I’ve been super swamped this past month, and so writing on the third book in the Barron County trilogy has been slow. I wanted to release it at the beginning of June, but at this rate, I’m going to have to push that back to late June, possibly early July. I hate to think I’ve disappointed you all, but it’s just not ready yet. That, and I’ve been busy with something else . . . something big.
I’m getting married next week.
It’s been a long time coming, but my fiancé and I are super excited. We’ve known each other since kindergarten and have been best friends since forever. We’ve both been running like chickens with our heads cut off to get everything ready, and naturally, we’re both exhausted/somewhat nervous. Our honeymoon will require some flying, and since my fiancé has never been on a plane before, that’s a point of nervousness for her. I’m sure she’ll be fine once we’re in the air, but until then, she’s a bundle of nerves.
All that is to say, I am working on the story, it’s just taking a bit. I cannot wait to get back into the swing of things for all of you and thank you again for your supreme patience in this. You guys and gals are great, and entertaining you all is a massive privilege. Stay tuned for the third installment of the Barron County trilogy, and the epic conclusion of Hannah Brun’s journey into the unknown! Until next time.

Spoilers ahead.
Bollywood’s roster of adult films is a barren wasteland, dotted by the occasional Tusshar KapooMilap Zaveri release. Yet, there may be hope for the genre as long as trailblazing production house YRF keeps churning out experimental masterpieces. For well before there were Kyaa Kool Hain Hum, Masti, and Ragini MMS, there was Mohabbatein. As on several other occasions, YRF embraced the role of innovator and at the turn of the millennium brought to Bollywood what is till date the industry’s only sex-ed film. Unlike Bollywood’s other attempts at adult cinema, Mohabbatein seeks to educate—not titillate—as moustachioed maestro Aditya Chopra examines attitudes towards male masturbation, specially amongst adolescents. To avoid offending conservative sensibilities, this sociological examination is cleverly hidden within a family-friendly romantic drama tale and presented in allegorical terms.
Mohabbatein features an ensemble cast, led by Amitabh Bachchan and DDLJ background actor Shah Rukh Khan, with Aishwarya Rai as a guest star. Although the cast also includes celebrated thespians Uday Chopra, Jugal Hansraj, and Shamita Shetty, a complete listing is omitted here for the sake of brevity. Bachchan plays Narayan Shankar, headmaster of the prestigious Gurukul boys’ college. Shankar is a stickler for rules, and imposes upon his students the need for tradition, prestige, and discipline. His rules extend to a blanket ban on romantic relationships, which forms the crux of the film’s conflict. SRK plays Raj Aryan, a music teacher and disgraced Gurukul alumnus who has returned to the institute under anonymity, with the single goal of melting Shankar’s icy heart and impressing upon him the power of love. Finally, Aishwarya Rai plays the deceased Megha, Shankar’s late daughter and the love interest of Raj Aryan.
In a figurative sense, Gurukul—with its forced confinement, all-male student body, and rigid rules—is a portrayal of restrictive societies that enforce adolescent sexual repression through gender segregation and harsh oversight. Narayan Shankar, as headmaster, is the enforcer of said oversight and abides by his oppressive regulations to set an example. Gurukul’s official motto—‘Parampara Prathishta Anushasan’—may be shortened to ‘PP Anushasan’, the word ‘PP’ being slang for a man’s meat pole of love and ‘Anushasan’ meaning discipline or regulation. Thus through its motto, the institution reveals its intention to exercise total control over its students’ genitalia.
Metaphorically, Narayan Shankar’s rejection of all things romantic/sexual, and his stubborn opposition to any form of change—stated by him multiple times throughout the film—is an allusion to his opposition to puberty and the sexual changes it brings along with it. His choice of garments throughout the film—dull black trousers coupled with matching black sherwanis—prevents viewers from getting a view of his lush curves and adds to his thoroughly sexless demeanour. Additionally, Shankar takes pride in his habit of staring right at the sun for several minutes every morning, which is a clever allusion to the popular myth about masturbation causing damage to eyesight—a lifetime of total abstinence from masturbation has prevented Shankar’s eyes from taking any damage, and therefore he can stare full-bore into the sun for as long as he pleases. Given all this, it is unknown how he fathered a daughter in his state of permanent prepubescence, so it may be deduced that he somehow reproduced asexually. In sum, Shankar is a man struggling to indefinitely delay his own sexual maturity, and thereby desperately clinging on to a simple, childlike innocence of all sexual matters.
Raj Aryan exists as the foil to Narayan Shankar, having arrived at Gurukul with the singular purpose of altering Shankar’s stunted outlook towards sexual maturity. In an allegorical sense, he portrays the biological agents and changes that act as messengers of puberty and sexual maturity, such as gonadotropin-releasing hormones and testosterone. Visually, his urbane, well-dressed appearance, along with his suave and cultured manner, stands in contrast to the dull cluelessness of Narayan Shankar and his wards, and is indicative of his sexual confidence and maturity.
Furthermore, his choice of musical instrument—the violin—is hardly coincidental. A violin requires precise, well-timed stroke-like movements to be made using a long, cylindrical piece of wood. The sight of Raj Aryan lounging comfortably in a chair and playing the violin with long, languid strokes, whilst wearing an expression of both contentment and pleasurable exertion, is certainly suggestive without appearing crass. The fact that his lover Megha is deceased does not decrease Raj Aryan’s passion in the slightest, as she makes an appearance in his imagination every time he leans back, closes his eyes, and handles his violin. Through such a combination of clever visual double entendres, the film conveys Raj Aryan’s use of masturbation and masturbatory fantasies as a healthy outlet for sexual expression and release.
To Gurukul’s ignorant masses, Raj Aryan is nothing short of a revelation. Like a masturbatory Pied Piper, he draws the ignorant, curious, and hypnotized students to his lessons, where he impresses upon them the need to break free of Gurukul’s restrictive confinements and open their hearts and prostate glands to the power of love. In a metaphorical sense, he encourages the students to accept the changes coursing through their bodies, and let puberty begin to run its course.
To best educate Gurukul’s students, Raj Aryan organises a secret dance ball, inviting over students from a neighbouring women’s college. Considering the allegorical nature of storytelling in Mohabbatein, the college and its students are likely imaginary, and the secret dance ball is actually an educational musical lesson on some of the more practical and logistical aspects of masturbation. YRF films have always been renowned for making their song-and-dance routines an integral part of the story, and Mohabbatein is no exception to this tradition of artistic excellence. As Gurukul’s students shuffle into the dance ball, Raj Aryan takes the centre stage and croons, ‘Aankhein khuli ho ya ho band/Deedar unka hota hai/Kaise kahoon main o yaara ye/Pyaar kaise hota hai’, with the lyrics making it clear that while there are many paths to self-pleasure, the path one takes does not matter so long as the destination is the same. With sufficient practice, a master of the art may hone his skills to the point where imagination is all that is required. Meanwhile, the less-skilled are free to keep their eyes open and rely on whatever visual aids they may prefer. Bearing in mind the wide variety of means and techniques employed, it is not for one man to tell another how best to beat his meat.
This educational demonstration, however, is cut short upon the surprise appearance of Narayan Shankar, who discovers Raj Aryan's attempt to arouse Gurukul’s pupils to rebellion against his rules. Shankar uses his authority to turn Raj Aryan’s movement temporarily flaccid, but a defiant Raj Aryan takes up Shankar’s opposition as a challenge, and vows to bring about love in every heart, a cramp in every right hand, and a scraggly hair sprouting from every smooth chin. Raj Aryan begins his campaign by asking Gurukul’s pupils to each write a love letter upon orange maple leaves. The orange maple leaf is a common visual theme throughout the movie, and for good reason—a maple leaf with its five lobes bears an uncanny resemblance to an outstretched palm with its five fingers, coloured an inflamed red perhaps due to excessive use. Thus, the act of writing a love letter upon an orange maple leaf is a clever visual metaphor for the students actually expressing gratitude and affection towards their own hands for the newly-discovered joys their hands have provided them with.
However, the ever-vigilant Narayan Shankar eventually catches onto Raj Aryan’s actions, and realizes that his fearsome gaze is no longer capable of wilting students’ defiant boners. Faced with this prospect, a desperate Shankar begins expelling students, hoping to discourage their peers and Raj Aryan, and therefore stave off the advent of puberty and sexual maturity amongst his wards. This leads to the film’s climax, wherein a gratuitously dripping-wet Raj Aryan meets Shankar, and defiantly tells him that whilst he may have won the battle, he has lost the war, for despite all his authority, Shankar will be forever left alone, because he lacks the powers of imagination and fantasizing that Raj Aryan possesses. Raj Aryan then reveals to Shankar that despite the death of Megha (Shankar’s daughter, it may be remembered), he still fantasizes about her with perfect clarity. However, as previously mentioned, Shankar had likely reproduced asexually to sire Megha, and asexual reproduction leads to genetically-identical offspring. A horrified Shankar realizes that therefore, by masturbating to Megha—his clone—Raj Aryan has been indirectly masturbating to Shankar himself for the past several years. Left shaken by this discovery of the transitive properties of masturbation, a broken Shankar is unable to recover from his shock and resigns as headmaster of Gurukul, leaving Raj Aryan to take the helm and finally bring about his purpose to a glorious conclusion.
Over two decades after release, Mohabbatein stands alone in Indian cinema. Few films have ever attempted such deftly-layered storytelling in treatment of such delicate subject matter. Indeed, if the bar were ever raised, it was only by YRF’s own other creations in subsequent years. No other films, however, have ever had the courage and wit to portray sex-ed as Mohabbatein so well did, and if the subject shall ever make an appearance in the educational curriculum, there can be no doubt that Mohabbatein shall be required viewing for all students, educators, and educational policymakers.

Kind of a long post, sorry. I (24f) met this girl (24f) online with the hopes of just exploring my sexuality. Before we knew it we talked all day, everyday, and she quickly became the highlight of my day. It’s important to include that she has never been in a relationship. When we first started talking she told me that she had a couple of men that she gets money from (sugar daddies, she’s a Miami girl if that makes sense) and when I inquired more about it she told me that it never progressed past a quick chat or grabbing food with them, since we were not in a relationship I didn’t mind that. I suggested plenty of times that we should just be friends with benefits and play the field but she always assured me that she didn’t want that and how deeply she felt for me. I wasn’t in any rush to put a title on things but she always told me that I was the only one she was “talking” to and of course she was the only one I was talking to as well. About a month later she links up with a guy everyday, all day, in the hotel together, going out, cooking together, for like 4 days straight and we barely talked (she used her location and other things to prove that she wasn’t staying there with him). She tried to assure me that nothing happened with them and it’s just part of the game, according to her they weren’t at the hotel the entire time and he was taking her places to do/buy whatever she wanted, but I sent her a voice audio cutting her off anyway cause clearly she’s playing me. I was super sad about it and one of her friends ended up reaching out to me and you can guess that we ended up back on speaking terms as “friends” this time which quickly led back to us talking and flirting per usual. She explained that she was just being selfish and wasn’t moving with intention since she’s never been in this situation before, that her and the guy never had sex or anything, and that she was sorry, she said she never wanted to lose me and wouldn’t mess up again. (Ik I sound like a clown) Fast forward to a few weeks later, her birthday comes and she tells me that she wants the hotel guy to take her out of town, which makes me distant from her cause wtf, but I don’t mention anything cause it’s her birthday. She sensed the distance so when she asked me about it the day after, I told her I was done allowing her to play with me and clearly that’s her intention. We go back and forth, she begs me not to, but I cut her off anyway. The next week she sends me flowers, food, and sweet things so I call to say thank you and we talked again. After a few days of talking I tell her I wanna either work things out or leave each other alone completely, but to do that I have a list of things I wanna go through, starting with her and the hotel guy messages (because I felt like she was lying). She showed me the messages, which showed that she linked up with him everyday the week before her birthday, although she had previously told me that the last time she had seen him was the hotel situation. I immediately went off on her (she was crying and apologetic still trying to convince me that nothing happened between them), she begged and pleaded, offering to do anything, but I cut her off and blocked her and her friends on everything. Over the next week she texted me from a few texting apps (I ignored them the first 5 days) asking to talk and once we did, she apologized and told me that she never intended to hurt me and doesn’t want me to hate her. She said that she feared not being good enough and overthought about our situation, which led her to do the things she’s used to doing because it’s easy to use men for money with no feelings attached, rather than be vulnerable with her feelings for me and potentially get hurt. We talked for a couple of hours (both expressing our feelings about everything) but I told her that I still want nothing to do with her and ended the conversation. I take accountability for being delusional to think it could ever work, I am a hopelessly romantic lover girl but I am also so hurt that she would lie to me and play so many games. I was open with her, I felt like we had such an intense connection just to find out that she likely had been fucking this guy the entire time. Since she lied about seeing him I feel like everything about her is a lie and it just feels shitty. It’s been 2 weeks since it happened and I cry everyday. I feel like a fool, especially cause I miss her so much and feel so empty.

After the Khumans had settled down somewhat, Alex let out a rather shaky breath. "I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't that."
"What were you expecting?" Kirell didn't understand, and it bothered him, but he was suddenly also extremely curious. It should be safe to learn more about this, right?
"Well... something more along the lines of swearing."
"Um... Karyces, Alex, did you get browner?" Kirell asked tentatively, which apparently set off the Khumans again.
"Woah there, spaceman." Sleepy didn't seem thrilled to hear him say that one; Kirell felt a guilty flush of purple around the edges of his frills. He didn't know Sleepy knew what it meant. "That's a strong word around the little one, huh?"
"Oh." He looked down at Nryxə guiltily, but she didn't seem to have noticed. At least he hoped she hadn't noticed. She was staring at the glassteel wall with her seven eyes wide open. Kirell didn't need his shiny new translator to know that her expression was curiosity. She probably didn't notice.
"You'll have to tell me what it means later. I mean it, Sleepy." Alex took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and closed her eyes. "I mean, I guess I got browner, but it's not.... Well. It's a scar."
Kirell's frills flashed open with a little pop, the whole width stained a deep red. "A scar? The whole thing?"
"Yep." Come to think of it, Alex's voice was a little lower than he remembered, a little raspier. "I– Captain, could you? It's sore."
"Sure. Poke me if I say something bad." The Captain cleared his throat as Alex sat down, crossing her legs under her, on the floor. "So, you know we burned a lot of atmosphere on Kzrkn, right?"
"Yes." Of course Kirell remembered that; he'd been scared out of his wits at the time. It seemed so silly now, to be afraid of something on the ground while he was safe in orbit.
"Well, the gate they took you through... yeah, atmospheres started mixing up, and then they closed it on Hook's electric prosthetic and–" The Captain broke off as Alex grabbed his leg; the deep red from Kirell's frills grew even darker. She was shaking a little. "Sorry Hook. Anyway, Squishy, I bet you saw it from your end too, but Hook was real close. Doc fixed what was mission-critical and did a bunch of patching, but it's still rough, and she's.... I bet she'll be mad for telling you, but she's still pretty spooked. Most folks'd already be shipped home with a Heart for this kinda thing, but damn if Hook hasn't made us proud. Well, prouder."
"What's that got to do with being browner? Did you not fix the scars?"
"Not mission-critical." Sleepy broke in on the conversation. "Don't get us wrong, Spaceman, he wanted to, but Hook said to focus on gettin' ya back."
"I think her exact words were 'Being pretty can wait.' Gotta love Hook, huh Squishy?"
Kirell felt his eyes itching, as if he wanted to cry again. "I'm sorry, Alex. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't ha–"
Alex slammed her synthetic hand into the floor with a bang; Nryxə jumped in Kirell's arms. Alex was shaking again, but this time she didn't look scared at all. She looked angry, and her eyes were a bit wet. That felt wrong, somehow, and conflicting, but Kirell could remember being scared and happy at the same time while wandering with Nryxə; it was probably similar.
"Shut it kid. Don't say that; don't you dare say that. I went after you 'cause I wanted to get to you. Don't ever say differently." Alex's voice seemed to squeak and thin out at the end of the last syllable; she pressed her lips together, looking frustrated.
"Easy there Hook. You've talked a lot more'n usual today. It's OK." The Captain reached down and patted Alex's artificial hand awkwardly. "You're doing good."
Alex swatted his hand away. Kirell's hearts abruptly thumped in his chest; he'd never seen that kind of expression on a Khuman face before. It was some mixture of ones he'd seen before; some kind of anger, sadness, coupled with a strange sick look he didn't recognize.
"Cap, ya aren't helping. If ya don't shut up I'd say it's about three seconds 'till ya get socked."
"Shi... crap. Sorry Hook. Didn't mean to– Uh, think I'll stop talking." Kirell didn't know what this situation had to do with closed tubes of fabric, or why the Captain had glanced at him and fixed his language, but he was too tired and confused to question it.
"Wait. So, Alex got burned, and Doc put her back together?" Kirell felt his own voice squeaking, not because he was injured but because the magnitude of Alex's injuries seemed to be stealing some of his air, along with much of the space in his stomach and most of his knees' strength.
"Burn care and puttin' someone back together aren't the same thing. Doc does both, but not the same way. Some parts, sure; it's why her vocal cords are weak right now. It's like a surgery; gotta be gentle with it."
Kirell's translator helpfully reminded him that Khumans were in the habit of cutting themselves open to deal with internal problems. He hadn't wanted to remember that.
"Anyway, Hook had to get most of her lungs and voice box rebuilt, so she's not got much voice to use right now. Still gettin' stronger. Her lungs are doin' great, but the voice is takin' a bit longer. It usually does."
Kirell's frills stained a deep blue. "Alex.... I wish you hadn't. I wish you weren't hurt."
Alex looked sideways awkwardly; she didn't look angry any more, which Kirell hoped was an improvement.
"I think what Hook wants to say is that she couldn't not come for you. And I'd agree with that."
Kirell didn't think that was right, but he couldn't figure out how to say so. Surely Hook had a choice, right? He wasn't somehow making a Khuman– a Khuman, of all things– do anything they weren't already going to do. Surely not. The idea of a Khuman being controlled by anything but their own wild Khuman-ness was laughable. Or, he acknowledged at the sight of the glassteel walls, by another Khuman.
"So you're in here because....?"
"Well, essentially we, uh... we were doing it again, huh Hook? We were just running in again like there was nothing there to stop us. Guess that's what we do." The Captain grimaced, one hand brushing the back of his head. "Right up until Sleepy showed up and said 'Hey stop that' with a bit more'n words."
A loud amusement sound made both Kirell and Nryxə jump; Sleepy was apparently very amused by this rephrasing of his actions. The Captain bared his teeth, too, with a look on his face that the translator told Kirell was [embarrassed] and [slightly regretful].
"Well, ya saw him now, and ya see that he's picked up someone of his own."
"Does that make you a granddad, Sleepy?"
Sleepy shrugged, looking at Nryxə, who looked back with seven wide eyes. "Dunno. I guess it depends on what the spaceman wants, right? And what'd be best for the kid. Whaddya think, Spaceman?"
"I, um... I don't know if I know what's best for Nryxə, but I don't want her to be upset. Can we talk about this later?"
The Khumans froze for a moment before the Captain whistled long and low. "Right. Not exactly good practice, is it? Talking custody with a kid in the room. Sorry 'bout that, Squishy."
"Hey, speaking of which." Sleepy reached out and gave Kirell a gentle, very reassuring head pat. Oh, he'd missed those. "I'm not sure he should be 'Squishy.' He didn't like it before, and now... don't ya think?"
"Yeah, agreed, it doesn't fit any more. Blue? No, don't like that one. Zim?"
"Absolutely not, Cap. Nor Dent, nor Ford Prefect. Gonna cut you off at the pass on that one."
Alex made a strange noise in her throat; with more patience than Kirell remembered them having, the Captain and Sleepy waited for her to be able to speak. When she did, it was a single word.
"Ripley."
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No music for this chapter, surprisingly.

I was recently viewing a series of LP's uploaded in 2007 by Topher Florence aka docfuture to SomethingAwful's forums regarding a nonexistent update to Sonic 2, and found myself searching for the VGM covers used in the video. Some were easy to find; TVTropes lists "Hedgehog Heaven" from 2005 as a source, and admittedly, it has most of the songs used there; the boss music is "Dududub dududum" from Jets 'n' Guns 1, the Metropolis theme is Fuwafuwa Brand New by Halcali, etc.
Despite this, I cannot for the life of me find 4 songs from the LP: Aquatic Ruin (or Aquatic Relix, IDK), Casino Night, the Options menu and the ending in Final A. All are covers of their original Sonic 2 counterparts. The Title screen may also be part of this, though at the very least, I have a lead for that one: the band MegaDriver made metal covers of Sonic Music in 2006, and the opening to "Hedgehog Metal" sounds virtually identical.
https://archive.org/details/LP_Sonic_2_SE Here's a link to the LP episodes. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Blue steel (2000 points)
Astra Militarum Strike Force (2000 points) Combined Regiment
CHARACTERS
Cadian Castellan (65 points) • 1x Chainsword 1x Close combat weapon 1x Laspistol • Enhancement: Drill Commander
Gaunt’s Ghosts (100 points) • 1x Ibram Gaunt • 1x Bolt Pistol 1x Gaunt’s chainsword • 1x Colm Corbec • 1x Corbec’s hot-shot lascarbine 1x Straight silver knife • 1x Elim Rawne • 1x Rawne’s lascarbine 1x Straight silver knife • 1x Hlaine Larkin • 1x Larkin’s long-las 1x Straight silver knife • 1x ’Try Again’ Bragg • 1x Bragg’s autocannon 1x Straight silver knife • 1x Oan Mkoll • 1x Lascarbine 1x Mkoll’s straight silver knife
Militarum Tempestus Command Squad (85 points) • 1x Tempestor Prime • 1x Bolt pistol 1x Command Rod 1x Tempestus dagger • Enhancement: Grand Strategist • 4x Tempestus Scion • 1x Master Vox 1x Medi-pack 1x Meltagun 1x Plasma gun
Militarum Tempestus Command Squad (80 points) • 1x Tempestor Prime • 1x Bolt pistol 1x Command Rod 1x Tempestus dagger • Enhancement: Death Mask of Ollanius • 4x Tempestus Scion • 1x Hot-shot volley gun 1x Master Vox 1x Medi-pack 1x Plasma gun
Primaris Psyker (60 points) • 1x Force weapon 1x Laspistol 1x Psychic Maelstrom
Ursula Creed (55 points) • 1x Duty and Vengeance 1x Power weapon
BATTLELINE
Infantry Squad (120 points) • 2x Sergeant • 1x Close combat weapon 1x Laspistol • 14x Guardsman • 9x Close combat weapon 9x Lasgun • 2x Heavy Weapons Team • 2x Mortar
OTHER DATASHEETS
Armoured Sentinels (210 points) • 3x Armoured Sentinel • 3x Hunter-killer missile 3x Lascannon 3x Sentinel chainsaw
Attilan Rough Riders (120 points) • 1x Rough Rider Sergeant • 1x Hunting lance 1x Lasgun 1x Laspistol 1x Steed’s hooves • 9x Rough Rider • 4x Hunting lance 4x Lasgun 4x Laspistol 4x Steed’s hooves
Avenger Strike Fighter (130 points) • 1x Armoured hull 1x Avenger bolt cannon 1x Heavy stubber 2x Lascannon
Medusa Carriage Battery (125 points) • 1x Battery close combat weapons 1x Medusa siege cannon
Medusa Carriage Battery (125 points) • 1x Battery close combat weapons 1x Medusa siege cannon
Nork Deddog (60 points) • 1x Huge knife 1x Ripper gun
Ogryn Bodyguard (40 points) • 1x Close combat weapon 1x Huge knife 1x Ripper gun
Rapier Laser Destroyer Battery (105 points) • 3x Rapier Laser Destroyer • 1x Close combat weapon 1x Laser destroyer
Regimental Attachés (40 points) • 1x Master of Ordnance • 1x Close combat weapon 1x Laspistol • 1x Officer of the Fleet • 1x Close combat weapon 1x Laspistol • 1x Astropath • 1x Astropath’s stave 1x Laspistol
Scout Sentinels (60 points) • 1x Close combat weapon 1x Lascannon 1x Militarum multi-laser
Scout Sentinels (60 points) • 1x Close combat weapon 1x Lascannon 1x Militarum multi-laser
Tempestus Scions (100 points) • 1x Tempestor • 1x Chainsword 1x Plasma pistol 1x Power weapon • 9x Tempestus Scion • 4x Close combat weapon 4x Hot-shot lasgun 2x Meltagun 2x Plasma gun 1x Vox-caster
Tempestus Scions (100 points) • 1x Tempestor • 1x Chainsword 1x Plasma pistol 1x Power weapon • 9x Tempestus Scion • 4x Close combat weapon 4x Hot-shot lasgun 2x Hot-shot volley gun 2x Plasma gun 1x Vox-caster
ALLIED UNITS
Inquisitor Coteaz (75 points) • 1x Bolt pistol 1x Nemesis daemon hammer 1x Psychic Blast
Lord Inquisitor Kyria Draxus (85 points) • 1x Dirgesinger 1x Power fist 1x Psychic Tempest
Exported with App Version: v1.13.0 (41), Data Version: v373
What would you change of the list? Any armies present in the meta that the list could suffer against?

[Eöl] shunned the Noldor, holding them to blame for the return to Morgoth, to trouble the quiet of Beleriand; but for the Dwarves he had more liking than any other of the Elvenfolk of old.
Welcome one and all again to the 2024 Read-Along and Discussion of The Silmarillion here on tolkienfans. For Week 20 (May 12-May 18), we will be exploring The Quenta Silmarillion (The History of the Silmarils) chapter 16, "Of Maeglin."
​
Aredhel, the daughter of Fingolfin, resided awhile in Nevrast with her brother Turgon, but later went with her people to dwell in the hidden city of Gondolin. However, she soon wearied of her hidden life in Gondolin and was permitted to set out purportedly to visit with Fingon in Hithlum with three lords of the household of Turgon. Upon reaching the Ford of Brithiach, she commanded her companions to instead turn south in the hope of passing through Doriath to eventually find the Sons of Fëanor, "her friends of old".
Upon arriving at the borders of Doriath, they were refused entry by King Thingol. And so Aredhel and her companions instead sought the dangerous route between the haunted valley of Ered Gorgoroth and the northern edge of Doriath. This passed through the land of Nan Dungortheb, where Aredhel was separated from her companions. They searched but could not find her, and barely escaping death themselves returned to Gondolin to share their tale, and there was great sorrow at the assumed fate of Aredhel.
But Aredhel, having lost her companions, continued on and eventually arrived in Himlad, where she was welcomed by the people of Celegorm and waited for his return. There for a while she was satisfied, but as the year lengthened, she took to riding further afield, seeking new and unknown paths and fields. By chance, she crossed into the forest of Nan Elmoth, where dwelt Eöl, who was named the Dark Elf. In earlier days, he was of the kin of Thingol, but he had left Doriath and fled to the shadows of Nan Elmoth. He loved not the Noldor, but learned from the Dwarves much skill of metalwork, and was often a guest to the halls of Nogrod and Belegost. He espied Aredhel from afar and desired her, and ensnared her in enchantments so she could not find the way out, but instead came deeper into Nan Elmoth. Being weary, she finally came to the halls of Eöl, and he welcomed her, and took her for his wife, and it was a long time before any of her kin heard rumour of her again.
Though at Eöl's command she was required to shun sunlight, it is not said that she was completely unwilling to their union, and in the darkness of Nan Elmoth was born their son, who, in her heart, she named Lómion, which means "Child of the Twilight" in Quenya. But Eöl gave him no name until he was twelve years old, at which time he named him Maeglin, that is "Sharp Glance".
As Maeglin grew to full maturity, he resembled, in face and form, one of the Noldor. But speaking few words, except in matters important to him, he resembled his father in mood and spirit. Often he went with Eöl to the cities of the Dwarves, and learned much from them, especially the craft of finding ores and metals in the mountains. Yet he loved his mother more and would often listen to her tales regarding the Noldor, and the valour of the House of Fingolfin, while Eöl was abroad.
In speaking of her kin to Maeglin, Aredhel desired to see them again, and these tales stirred also in Maeglin the desire to see the Noldor. But upon revealing his inner wishes to Eöl, his father became infuriated, and threatened to bind his son if he would associate with the Noldor. Maeglin became cold and silent, and no longer went abroad with Eöl, and Eöl mistrusted him. One midsummer, Eöl went away to a feast in Nogrod. During this time, the desire grew hot in the heart of Maeglin to leave Nan Elmoth and look upon his mother's people and to seek the city of Gondolin. Seeing this, Aredhel was glad and they departed, telling Eöl's servants they sought the sons of Fëanor.
However, Eöl returned earlier than anticipated and found his wife and son two days gone. He set out immediately in wrathful pursuit. On entering Himlad, Eöl was ambushed by the riders of Curufin, and was taken to their lord. Curufin mockingly asked Eöl what urgent matter brought him to his land, and Eöl told him that he wanted to join his wife and son on their visit to him. Upon learning from Curufin that they turned westward, travelling along the northern fence of Doriath, Eöl asked leave to discover their purpose. Curufin instead coldly bid him go back to Nan Elmoth.
Thus Eöl rode off in haste, full of shame and anger. He perceived that Aredhel and Maeglin were heading towards Gondolin and rode after them. As the two arrived at the Outer Gate of Gondolin, they were received joyfully and passed inside the Hidden Kingdom, where Turgon listened with wonder to the story of his sister, and gave Maeglin the highest honour in his realm. Eöl watched them from afar and followed them to the city, but was taken in by the Guard, and was brought before Turgon after claiming to be husband and father to Aredhel and Maeglin. Aredhel confirmed this and Turgon welcomed Eöl as his kinsman, giving him leave to stay in Gondolin. But Eöl insulted the King, and bid Maeglin to "leave the House of the slayers of his kin, or be accursed". Maeglin did not answer.
Turgon then set a choice before Eöl and Maeglin of either abiding in Gondolin, or dying in Gondolin. Eöl stood a long time in silence, before he abruptly took a spear from under his cloak and threw it at Maeglin, crying "the second choice I take, and for my son also! You shall not hold what is mine!" But Aredhel came between the spear and Maeglin, and was struck. Eöl was restrained, set in bonds and led away. However the tip of the spear was poisoned, and Aredhel died in the night. Eöl was brought before Turgon and no mercy was shown to him; he was led to the Caragdûr, a precipice upon the northern side of the city, to be cast down. Maeglin stood by in silence, and Eöl cried out "so you forsake your father and his kin, ill-gotten son! Here shall you fail of all your hopes and here may you yet die the same death as I". And he was cast over the cliff-edge. Thus ended Eöl, Dark Elf, of the shadows of Nan Elmoth.
Maeglin grew great in stature in Gondolin, and was high in the favour of Turgon. He rose to be mighty amongst the Princes of the Noldor, and was the greatest other than Turgon in the realm of Gondolin. And yet not all things went as he would have liked, though he did not reveal his heart. For from his first days in Gondolin, he loved Idril Celebrindal, his first cousin, and desired her, but without hope. For the Eldar did not wed with kin so close, and further, Idril loved him not at all. Maeglin's love turned to darkness, and he sought more to have his will in all matters, no matter the cost to him, if it might grant him more power.
And so it came to be that in Gondolin, at the height of all its bliss, majesty, and beauty, a dark seed of evil was sown in the heart of Maeglin.[1]
Of Maeglin at The Lord of the Rings Wiki: This chapter introduces Maeglin, and his father Eöl, and tells the history of Maeglin's life from his birth to his becoming a citizen of Gondolin. Also in this chapter is the death of Eöl.
Chapter discussion at Entmoot TolkienTrail.
Chapter discussion at The Barrow-Downs.
Questions for the week:

1. Eöl is described as grim -- "his eyes could see deep into shadows and dark places." Does this just mean his eyes have adjusted to life in the dark, or is there also a hint of his being able to see beyond what is there, in a "foresight" or "farsighted" kind of way?
2. Maeglin and Eöl argue because Eöl won't let him see his mother's kin which causes a major rift between the two. Why did Eöl object?
3. What is significant of Maeglin's given name of Lomion, i.e. "Child of the Twilight" by his mother, Aredhel, but at age 12, Eöl named him Maeglin, i.e. "Sharp Glance".
4. Why did Eöl have more liking for the Dwarves "than any other of the Elvenfolk of old."?

For drafts and history of this chapter see The War of the Jewels, "Part Three: The Wanderings of Húrin and other Writings not forming part of The Quenta Silmarillion", Chapter III, "Maeglin)", pp. 316-339.
For further history and analysis of this chapter, see Arda Reconstructed (by Douglas Charles Kane), p. 155.
Be sure to have your copy of The Atlas of Middle-earth by Karen Wynn Fonstad on hand as you go through this chapter.
Some Tolkien-related hangouts on YouTube (relevant to this week):

• Nerd of the Rings This episode: Maps of Middle-earth: The First Age The Silmarillion Explained
• Nerd of the Rings This episode: The Origins of Melkor Tolkien Explained
• Nerd of the Rings This episode: The History of Morgoth [COMPILATION] Tolkien Explained
• Nerd of the Rings This episode: Eöl the Dark Elf Tolkien Explained
• Tolkien Untangled This episode: The Return of the Noldor Of the Lords of Beleriand : Silmarillion Explained - Part 2 of 10
• Ælfwine's Road This episode: Silmarillion Summary: Ch. 16 - Of Maeglin [19/31]
• Voice of Geekdom This episode: Chapter 16.1 - Eöl the Dark Elf, and Aredhel, White Lady of the Noldor Silmarillion Explained
• Voice of Geekdom This episode: Chapter 16.2 - The Rise of Maeglin Silmarillion Explained
• The Tolkien Road Podcast This episode: Silmarillion 2022 Ch 16 » Of Maeglin
• The Tolkien Road Podcast This episode: 0047 - The Silmarillion - Chapter 16 - Of Maeglin
• The One Ring This episode: Tolkien’s Disney Princess!? – Of Maeglin – The Silmarillion – 18

The Silmarillion Reader's Guide at Tea With Tolkien.
The Silmarillion Reader's Guide by askmiddlearth on Tumblr.
Quettaparma Quenyallo (QQ) - The most extensive list of Quenya words available on the internet, by Helge Fauskanger, 1999-2013.
Tolkien Collector's Guide - Guide to Tolkien's Letters
A (Hopefully) Light Guide to the Silmarillion — Or What I Wish I’d Known Before Reading It by u/Ok_Bullfrog_8491/
The Definitive Family Tree of the Tolkien Legendarium by u/PotterGandalf117
Wikipedia - The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien
Announcement and Index: (Take 2) 2024 The Silmarillion and The Fall of Gondolin Read-Along

*CONTAINS SWEARING*
This is gonna be a hefty and most likely triggering post for specific groups of people out there (meaning people who struggle with anger, people who don't want poltical content/opinions etc), so please stop reading and leave if you figure this is gonna be rough for you. This will (mainly) be about the conflict between Palestine and Israel. (and apparently a long one) No hate towards any specific groups of people, but I do have a lot of *frustration regarding behaviours*.
Before I start, I want you to remember some facts about me as you read;
I am autistic
I am heavily influenced by world peace, hate, racism and other unfair situations
I have incredibly high standards for myself that I strive to not break, including, but not limited to, being kind and respectful *always*, despite being in a bad mood, not liking someone, or disagreeing, especially political disagreements
I have always, and will always, stand against widespread hate, racism and other discrimination towards any specific religions, ethnicities, nationalities, cultures, etc.
I also want you to know that I named this throwaway accordingly.
So let's get this shitshow started then, shall we.
As the details of the conflict stands, it is beyond obvious to me that this is racism and, literally, a Holocaust. Not *the* Holocaust, but *a* Holocaust. Oxford Languages has the term defined as a destruction or slaughter on a mass scale, especially caused by fire or nuclear war . I'd say that's very much accurate. Proof to come.
Regardless, this situation has had me very pressed the last almost 8 months, as I know most other people have been too. Without getting too much into the conflict itself, I want to talk a little about what I've seen from the Jewish community.
This is where I advise anyone who struggles with anger especially to leave and try to keep your day positive. If you have a magical potion to stay stable after this, who am I to stop you...
Alright, onto the dreaded part. And yes, I am stalling.
I have never, and I truly mean *never* had any hateful thoughts or opinions about religions (other than Christianity but that's one for another time), and as we are all aware of, The Holocaust had massive effect on the world some 80 years ago. I have always seen Jews as victims due to this, but in recent times I've realised that a lot of them, too, see themselves as victims. The issue is that they aren't the victims right now. They (Israel) aren't defending themselves, they have nothing to defend themselves against. Israel is currently doing the exact same thing as Germany did to them, to Palestine. Sure, maybe at some point who knows when, Palestine *was* the land of Jews, but since then, multiple religions have been thriving together on that land, including Jews. They were never excluded. From what I've understood, there weren't any wars or conflicts going on within the country that didn't happen elsewhere. The issue began when in the late 1940's zionists brutally murdered families to steal their homes. I'm sure the situation was so much more complex than that, but in a nutshell that is basically it. The fact that everyone today have been so desensitized from the travesties happening around the world is depressing and hope-killing. I truly am well on the way to giving up, and at this point in time I'm so angry all the time due to the Middle East's situation.
So a few weeks ago, probably closing in on months at this point, I randomly got a notification from reddit about someone posting on /Jewish. They didn't say anything explicit, so I pressed the notification and I was met with the worst victimization and ignorance I've ever seen. I truly believed most jews would see this for what it is, and not let some racist maniac spoon-feed them propaganda and hate, but I was brutally and humbly proven wrong. They were mocking proPAL parades, hating on news anchors and civilians alike calling this a genocide, insisting that Israel has no other choice, saying "casualties happens in war", convincing each other that zionism is a good thing, and feeling sorry for themselves when friends and families cut contact because they said they supported Israel and saw this as the only solution. Some might have been genuine problems, idk, but for the most part, that subreddit seems to only be about hating the rest of the world because their great grandparents were killed. I know I sound like a complete asshole, but the world isn't antisemetic anymore - they are actively looking for it and then using that one person telling them to stop feeling so sorry for themselves as proof that everybody in the world wants to throw them back in gas chambers.
I commented on my personal once where I mentioned that judaism and zionism are two separate things and got downvoted to oblivion. Someone replied saying that my comment was very much exactly what they too feel, but I got downvoted *simply because* I referred to them as separate entities. That is another criticism they've recieved lately; the pure idea of zionism is on the complete opposite side from what Judaism stands for. I've seen so many of the members there calling Jews protesting against Israel "self-hating" and traitors.
I've also made so many replies that I never sent because I know for a fact they would do anything in their power to ban me from ever using reddit again, and I wouldn't be surprised if I got doxxed and harrassed IRL from it. I saved them all, though. I found that it was kind of therapeutic to get it out, but it still bugs me that I never found a way to say it to them. I once also made a post about my rage for their behaviour connected to this genocide, but I thankfully stopped myself before I posted it. I'm so enraged by their sheer ignorance and hypocritical behaviour, all the while Gaza is still being eradicated and slaughtered, war crimes happening day in-day out, inhumane atrocities by the IOF being posted and hailed, and they have the audacity to say that they are the victims? That Israel has no other choice but martyring tens of thousands of CHILDREN? Starving the entire Gaza Strip, segregating West Bank, literally teaching their young in school to hate and attack arabs? That last one might not be true as I don't speak Hebrew or Arabic, so anyone could've just made up the translation, but I still feel it's worth mentioning in case it actually *is* real.
My point is that the guts they have to claim to be so moral, yet still be so unfaced from what's happening in Gaza is beside me. Sure, for those living near the Gaza wall, I'm positive that hearing bombs and screams were traumatizing as fuck, but to then leave for work the next day and claim that "shit happens"? It's insane! It's inhumane. They can leave whenever they like, children can play football (soccer) in the streets and not having to worry about shit, hotels and restaurants with 5-star ratings thriving, plants and flowers still blooming, absolutely no threats on a daily basis. The fact that people are still calling this a war, something necessary, is beyond devastating to me. There are millions still siding with zionism, claiming there's nothing wrong with the belief that you have an innate right to some dirt simply because your holy book says that thousands of years ago, your religion lived there, and simply because of that religious fact you are rightfully owed thousands of young lives, the death of an entire country with its own culture, just to feed the irrational religious political system? How in God's name has that ever, *IS* that still okay? If Muslims were the ones saying that shit, they would've been completely destroyed by now, today's generation wouldn't know what the fuck Islam was. They are still being slaughtered though, because they're saying it's *not* okay. How is that not racist again?
My brother and I got into a heated argument a few days ago about this. I am very much *for* Palestine to have human rights and to own their own land - he is very much *against* "ugly blackies" having any rights because they're *not* human. Boi when I tell you I got so angry I started crying. And the worst part about that fight? He claims that Jews aren't any better, however they still deserve to defend themselves against children running on the beach. "But Hamas-" is so over-used and outdated by now, it just proves that he doesn't follow up on statistics and evidence. Even if there only were one-sided news (from Gaza), the fact that the ICJ ruled Israel's actions a genocide and war crimes still proves everything he claims to be "n*****'s propaganda". And the fact that he so underminds my autism and *need* for factual evidence before discussing it also goes to show that he genuinely does not care about anything other than the black "terrorists" being eradicated. I said "So you're not just a racist, you're just plain racist?" he just scoffed and looked at me as if I just said the most nonsensical bullshit gibberish ever, practically saying "I'm not gonna say anything, but it really took you that long to realise?" Either that, or he actually didn't comprehend the words coming out of my mouth, like it was a foreign language or something. Because he genuinely does not have a single reason to be racist.
He can't even blame suicide attacks because 1) not all are carried by muslims, and 2) between 1981-2015 around 45,000 were killed by suicide attacks worldwide, where in 2019 the total death toll was only 1,699 more than amount of attacks; whereas in Gaza, between Oct 7 to present there are about 34,000 confirmed palestinian deaths, and assumed around 42,000 with unconfirmed deaths. If, in 36 years, "muslim terrorism" killed about the same amount as Israel has in almost 8 months, how on earth are Arabs the terrorists?
And I've also seen the argument that 30,000 is nothing compared to the total population in Gaza, as if that makes it okay. I will, again, make example of The Holocaust. When 30,000 Jews were martyred, people were already catching on, and this was without the technology we have today.
How have we been allowing this to happen to Palestinians *with* our technology today? Why haven't people been doing more; striking our jobs, cummute chauffeurs striking, proper permanent boycotts, more coverage from news anchors and private people alike? Even if it is to officially reclaim your love for white supremacy, you're still talking about it. Why are people still not reading up on this? Why does millions still not know that this *didn't* begin on October 7th? And why are there still those who claim that the past doesn't matter today? I have so many questions, and if I do get an answer I will only end up with more questions. How hasn't the world stopped over this? Why are people so okay knowing that there are children being intentionally murdered every single day? How can you go to work and talk about Dave's new tie? Or your 6 year old's birthday party with 15 other 6 year olds? Hasn't it crossed your mind that if the roles were reversed, your precious princess would be the one burried under tons of rubble, dying slowly while simontaniously starving, dehydrating, suffocating and crushing, and *knowing* that absolutely no one cares because you're [skin color] and it's normal for your kids to be horrendously massacred? "Oh but the Taliban-ISIS-Al Qaeda" OKAY so what are you gonna do to help save innocent lives and suffering??? How are you gonna contribute to STOP these organizations that have manipulated and murdered to rule their country and are intentionally making the citicens miserable? Are you even aware that your own govurnment is essentially the same fucking thing, just disguised as a well dressed, polite gentleman? Aren't you sick of all those ads on TV showing brown children with flies in their eyes? Or your mama telling you to think about the starving children in Africa? Because I am.
I am so sick and tired of how inhumane humans have come to be. You don't see animals (and I'm trying my best to not mention how humans *are* animals, guess I failed) intentionally kill another animal simply because they're that animal. They kill prey; polar bears kill seals, seals kill penguins, penguins kill fish, fish kill amoebas, and you can get to that result from absolutely everything. What you don't find as a natural event is a golden, brown mane lion attack and kill an albino lion simply because it's albino. You don't see a school of fish swim away from one with two heads, because "*omg Jared is such a freak with his two heads*." So why the FUCK DID WE START DOING THAT? Where did this hunger for power come from? You *will* see a female lion tell the king that enough is enough, and he *will* accept that. I could go on and on for DAYS if I got the chance, but I don't wanna get too off topic here.
I've started a list of all the universally illegal shit Israel has done, and once I'm satisfied with it, I'll make one comparing Israel to Palestine, and then Arabs/Muslims as a whole. I can guarantee that I will still hear "on-sided sources" still, or "You can't trust Wikipedia!" Have you ever tried to edit or create an article on Wikipedia? I have, and I had to confirm that I had a degree or a current valid work ID to prove that I was elgible to speak on the topic. I tried to make a site for myself... Sure, there are more trustworthy sites, but even in a discussion about wether or not being trans is a mental illness, where I quoted and linked all of the most well known official sources like WHO, I was still slapped with "but this shady ass article from a random Deutch website that explicitly says everything I've said, yet still isn't actually saying the same thing because I misquoted and mixed the words to form my own sentence says that it is" when they literally linked a website called "disabled world". I will say though, I agree with that name. Today's world is so non-funtional for neurotypical, hetero, white MEN, it's no fucking wonder everyone else are classified as disabled or whatever. Also, on that disabled topic, if you've made it this far, please don't say "differently abled". A quote unquote quote (heh geddit? cuz it's rephrased and I don't have the book near me rn to directly quote) from Devon Price's "Unmasking Autism" that I really like: "You wouldn't say "a person with Asianness", you'd say "an Asian person"." We are disabled because today's world isn't made for us, and for the most part isn't even accomodated or accessible to us. We are different, yeah, but literally everyone is. We just got that term because we can't do the same things as you (assuming you're neurotypical) without aid. We are able, just not like you. Of course, if an autistic person tells you they prefer "person with autism", listen to them! But most of us embrace it as a part of us because we can't just get rid of it. Autism is what make me me, I wouldn't be me without my autism, so I *am* autistic, for better or for worse. :)
I find it kinda ironic that I started this as a venting about a lot of Jews' hypocritical behaviour, and now ending up on autism. Yaknow, cuz Dr. Asperger during WW2 experimented and tortured autistic people, and found out that some where more alike him than others, which then coined the term Aspergers for the Autistic Community.
Anywho, I feel better now, so thanks for letting me vent a little (a lot). I want to finish off by restating my intro; I have not, and will not tolerate any hate, racism or discrimination towards any religion, ethnicity, nationality, culture etc. This post is not intended as a rant about how aweful jews are, because they're not. I just wanted to air some frustration over their behaviour regarding I/P genocide. This is also not about *all* Jews, but that's the same discussion as "not all men" so I'll leave it at that.
I will delete this account in a week, so if you have any questions, be fast ig. If you find I've mis-phrased, used irrationally insensitive wording or any other complaints that calls for a repost, I will fix it and post an updated version. My DMs will also be available if that should be of interest, but I will not be responding to hate or personal attacks for my opinions. If the issue is my wording, again, tell me and I'll fix it.
At this point I've written so much that I don't remember if I found anything myself that I figured was worth fixing, and I've proof read it so many times that my eyes are crossing and giving me a headache lol
Gosh I'm scared of posting this. I don't want anyone to read this and think I support what A. H. did in 1940 cuz I cannot begin to describe my hatred for that man

Timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/5FQLT06
Pics and serials: https://imgur.com/a/cd1CZIJ
I accept Paypal, Venmo, Cashapp, Zelle, Apple Pay.
Bundles > Dibs.

PM ME HERE: www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=ihategunz

Clone Correct URGI 10.3 Upper

Here i've got a clone correct URGI 10.3 in a smooth shade of DDC. All parts are unfired except for the BCG/CH and Upper receiver. Had this assembled and sitting in my closet for close to a year now, i love looking at it but it's time i sell some extras.
Parts List:
Surplus Colt 13629 Keyhole upper
Daniel Defense 10.3 Barrel NSN Marked w/ DD GB and Tube
Colt C stamped BCG
Geissele 9.3" MK16 DDC
Geissele DDC ACH, NSN Marked (shade matches MK16)
Surefire 4 Prong, NSN Marked
Cosmetic Condition: Like New, minimal salt.
Asking $1199 shipped

Sig 516 Full Auto 14.5 P/W Upper

SIG 516 OEM Upper, 14.5 P/W to 16" with SF3P Warcomp.
Catch and Release, 200 rounds total.
Not fired by me but swapped in Full Auto Cut BCG from a different 516. Comes with OEM CH too.
Cosmetic Condition: Like New, minimal salt.
$869 shipped

BCM BFH 14.5 P/W Upper

BCM OEM Upper with BFH ELW profile barrel
P/W 14.5 to 16 with SF3P Warcomp
Comes with Radian Raptor CH, BCM BCG, FCD EPC.
400-500 rounds
Cosmetic Condition: low salt
$799 $769 shipped

Geissele MK16 9.3" Black

Blemula but re-nitrided so the blemula logo is barely visible.
No salt like new. Barrel nut has some marks.
$199 shipped

Larue MBT2S

BNIB 2x flat (not skeleton).
$105 each

FCD Crap 🦆

• 2x BNIB CNF Black, $20 each
  
• 4x ABC/R serrated bolt catches, $55 each. 2x center, 2x forward biased
  

AR15 Spare Parts

• H&R A1 Upper Stripped (Grey): Mild salt from being thrown around in parts bin, $129 shipped
  
• Sig 3 Prong: $29
  
• Odin Works Carbine length Tube + Adjustable Gas Block: $49 shipped (100ish rounds)
  
• Daniel Defense Mid length tube + MK12 style Pinnable gas block: $69 shipped (500ish rounds)
  
• Mini King Comp from Strike Industries: $49 shipped
  
• 1x K2 Grip BNIB ODG: $20 shipped
  
• BCM BCG: $149 shipped, 300 rounds
  

BRN4 Parts from Forsaken Build

2x BNIB Operating Rods, $59 shipped each
1x Mounted unfired operating rod, $55 shipped

Mounts

Weaver Extra High 34mm Rings: $79 $49 New
Aimpoint PRO Riser spacer:, $10 addon
Nightforce 30mm 20MOA ultramount 1.54": $249 $199
Aimpoint Micro OEM Mount: same as this one https://aimpoint.us/micro-standard-mount-for-h-1-h-2-kit/ very light salt, $69 $49 shipped
ADM 30mm Mounts, one is 1316, one is 1324 and has 3 in cant. Comes with quality McMaster high carbon content screws.
$169 $159 each
Aimpoint Pro low Mount: $49 shipped
Looks like this but with a picatinny mount https://aimpoint.us/aimpoint-30mm-top-ring-fits-qrp2-tnp-lrp-not-required-for-compm4-series/

Sig MSR 1-6x

Sig MSR 1-6 with Mount
Light salt on mount and one of the turrets due to crowded safe. Glass is clean everything else looks great.
$239 shipped

Glock Stuff

Glock Sights: all takeoffs, $15 each. Tritium rear one is $30. $59 for all.
CAA MCK Microroni for G19/23/32: Mild salt, comes with flashlight. $169 shipped
Safariland 6360 ALS/SLS FOR g17/G22, Right Handed: $99 $79 shipped

AK Stuff

JMAC: Non-Folding Stock/Brace Mount for MRKT Trunnion: lnib $29 shipped
1913 Adapter for MRKT Trunnion: lnib $29 shipped

NVG Stuff

Norotos Mount + Head Mount + J arm + Infrared tag for dog leash: $99 $89 $79 shipped

Random Shit

Magpul Sling Mount RSA: $24 shipped
Bushmaster Commercial Spec Stock: $29 shipped
Tenebraex M68-ARD, works with Aimpoint PRO: $30 light salted but no structural damage to honeycomb
Aimpoint P2 Cap OEM: free addon
Benelli M4 Mesa Tactical Stock with comfortgrip, cheek riser and newest lock washer: $119 shipped
Geissele buffer tubes: 1x ddc, 1x odg, $59 each. Light salt
A2 Stock: $39 shipped
Hera Arms CQR Gen 2 ODG kit: $99 shipped
VLTOR IMOD Stock, Standard Butt SOPMOD looking thing: one of the plugs is missing, slightly salty, $69 shipped

Patches

Also patches if you would like some: https://www.reddit.com/GunAccessoriesForSale/s/NzKFRKbgjL

But first off, I want to clearly state my objectives for these changes:
General:

• Achieve ideal balanced state between the duelists through UNIFORMITY.

Specific:

• Make Raze less oppressive
• Tune up Neon for her to compete well with Jett/Raze in terms of dive capacity
• Tune up Phoenix to rise over Raze in terms of space-clearing capability
• Rework Iso to be a 'dive-capable' agent, without erasing his identity.
• Give minor buffs to Yoru, to help with his ease of mobility across large maps like Breeze.
• Forget about Reyna for now.

Targets:
Rank in terms of Movement:

1. Neon
2. Jett
3. Raze
4. Yoru
5. Iso
6. Phoenix

Rank in terms of ability functions: (1- having the most self-aiding abilities, and 6- having the most enemy-debuffing abilties; Ultimates not counted)

1. Jett (3 abilities for self)
2. Iso (2 for self, 1 for enemy)
3. Neon (2, 1)
4. Yoru (1, 2)
5. Raze (1, 2)
6. Phoenix (3 for enemies)

Ideal Map Size for Each Duelists:
Jett: flexible Raze: mid-ranged - close-ranged Neon: mid-ranged - long-ranged Phoenix: close-ranged Iso: mid-ranged Yoru: long-ranged (Bind being an exception because of the presence of teleport portals)
So, here are the changes with my reasonings:
1.) JETT [No Changes]

• Jett is a fairly decent agent now and pros who have mastered her pick her.

2.) RAZE [Nerf]
Make Paintshells her Q, and Blast Packs her E
Q: Paintshells - Make shootable (100HP) while still in the air; will explode upon shooting.
E: Blast Pack - Rechargeable every two kills (one pack, but still two charges). Only displaces Raze. No equip delay for it to deal damage.
X: Showstopper - Remove the feature/bug that sents Raze flying when fired to the ground in combo with a satchel.

• I made Raze's kit mainly focused on entry- this weakens her another initially strong function which is flushing out enemies from a site. Hence, her signature ability now is her satchels. And since satchel propels Raze to the air, I made her grenade able to be used as a good distraction that the enemies can point their crosshairs to.

3.) NEON [Buff/Rework]

• We can go two ways about this: it is either,

1. Neon retains her movement ability as it is, but gets buffs to her other abilities, including ult.
2. Neon gets buffs to her movement ability but retains her other abilities.

If chosen the latter, the changes would be:
E: High Gear - Introduce a new passive that will replace the slide: SURGE. Right-click while sprinting to quickly drain Neon's energy meter and surge- during this period, she runs twice (2.5x) the speed as her normal sprint. (5m/s increased to 12.5m/s). When activated, the energy meter drains 4x as fast and will not recharge anymore for the remainder of the round. Passive is usable only once per round.
E: (Electric Slide) - Make electric slide usable everytime Neon sprints: but only moves her as far as 3m. To slide and pull out gun after sprinting, press Ctrl key (crouch). Sliding after Surge moves Neon for 7m.
X: Neon cannot shoot electric field during surge while ulted.

• I chose the latter since I want Neon to be the ideal dive agent. Compared to Jett and Raze, she now has three movement configurations at her disposal: slide, surge, sprint. This makes her a movement-focused agent. But as trade-off, she has comparatively weaker basic abilities and ultimate than both Jett and Raze since unlike the two, Neon's stuns, wall and ult oblige her to keep pushing forward ang get a kill; there are no secondary uses to them such as stalling or intel-gathering. And also, she lacks the verticality that the two agent offer. Hence, she must clearly excel in her horizontal mobility.

4.) PHOENIX [Rework]
Make C ability (Blaze) his Q and His flashes his C.
Q: Blaze - Has 4s Duration (1s casting period included), 15 dps. Can be casted through walls. Already deals damage during the casting period. Casting/curving the wall is now faster. Phoenix will not get healed by the wall anymore. But casting it induces a speed boost of about 15%.
E: Hot Hands - Resembles Raze's grenade more than Brimstone's molly now. Ability model now looks like a campfire, unlike before when it looked like a lava flow. Area of damage effect spreads over time throughout its 3s duration. Ticks 35 damage per second. Does not heal Phoenix anymore.
X: Run it Back - Ult points required: 6 > 8

• I changed the abilities, without changing Phoenix's kit and identity as a whole (except the healing part, which I think can be the niche of Reyna but let's forget about her for now). I made his wall more optimal for assault gunfights and taking space (in combo with his molly and flashes), instead of maintaining brief control over an area or cutting off sightlines when entrying into site (Viper and Harbor do that already). Phoenix's molly is also his signature ability; thus, it is appropriate that it stands as the best molly in the game- not Raze's anymore. With these changes, I'm hoping for Phoenix to be a hard-clearing duelists who's designed to flush enemies out of tight areas and corners (Haven garage and a short came to mind). And lastly, the ult orb change is for making Phoenix's ult more in-line with other ults in the game since it is pretty strong.

5.) ISO [Rework]
Make his C ability (bulletproof wall), attached to his E ability for it to work like this: when Iso gets a shield, he can detach it from his body and turn it into a forward-moving impenetrable wall. Then, replace it with a new C ability.
C: (cant think of a name for it) - Iso's MOVEMENT ability. Equip to instantly send out a flying aimlab orb (like a sova drone but has the same speed of gekko's thrash) for 2s. Has 2 charges: equip the 2nd charge while the previous charge's timer is running out to refresh the ability timer. After the timer expires, Iso will be teleported to the land directly below the orb. Has the same gun pullout speed as Yoru's tp.
Q: Undercut - Aside from the vulnerability, add a new status effect: ISOLATION. Enemies hit by it will have narrowed down vision (similar to spike rush paranoia) and will be unable to make crossfires with their ally/allies. This debuff won't allow for the narrowed vision cone of the affected player to intercept with the vision cone of his/her ally. Charge decreased: 2 > 1
E: Double Tap - Charge decreased from 2 > 1. Duration of focused activity decreased to 10s.
Okay, explanations here we go:
C: From ISO's pov

• When casted, enter a 'phaser world' similar to his ult but has the same layout as the map. (Works like Omen's smokes but first-person; so basically, the camera is attached to the orb itself). The movement of the orb in Iso's world is the same as in the actual world. The orb cannot trasverse through walls.

C: From allies' pov

• Iso's body remains stationary at the place where he casted the ability (like a Sova droning or a Skye dogging). Iso casting the second charge of the orb while the first charge is still active will not spawn Iso to where the first charge ended. Rather, Iso will remain at the position where he casted the first charge until the second charge's timer expires.

C: From enemy's pov

• Flying orb looks just like a normal orb that Iso shoots when E is active. Only difference is that, it requires to be shot twice to break it. Once destroyed, Iso is forcibly spawned, standing at the land below it.

Q: How does it work?

• Assume that your allies have lasers directly pointing to where their crosshairs are - and that each of the beam ends when it hits a surface/wall. Now, when you're hit by an enemy Iso's undercut, looking at atleast one of these laser beams will blind you at an almost instantaneous speed.
• Why all of these changes? To answer that, I practically just gave Iso some of Omen's characteristics. Iso's C ability now is almost identical to Omen's shrouded steps; and his Q to Omen's paranoia. This is to promote competition within the role since Iso now has a movement ability, albeit not a strong one. Besides, Iso's power lies at his ability to isolate enemies: these changes only strengthen Iso in this axis while still providing signifcant drawbacks: (only one charge of Q and E, risky entry with C and being unable to disengage with it unlike other movement abilities).

6.) YORU [Buff]
E teleport anchor & Q projectile now move depending on Yoru's velocity during casting (similar to Omen's paranoia before it was patched out). Moving forward: faster, backward: slower, still: normal.
7.) REYNA [Rework]

• I just stated a few pharagraphs ago to forget about Reyna. But, ignoring her will be a blatant problem. It is actually her that needs fixing more than the other agents in the game since her playstyle just does not fit valorant. One may argue that as long as Reyna caters to a certain playerbase, she is okay and better be left as is. That may be true to some extent but I am sharing my concept anyways.

C: Leer - Invisible when still in motion, only becomes visible and nearsights enemy when already at targeted position.
E: Dismiss & Q: Devour - still have shared two charges. But the left part now (under E) is highlighted purple, while the right part is white. The latter charge is purchasable.Reyna has one free purple charge every round. Q is now usable even WITHOUT harvesting a soul orb- this consumes the white charge. When Q activated, enter a 12s activation window (similar to Jett's tailwind) that grants Reyna increased gun pull out speed and quiet footsteps even when running with melee out. When the timer expires, all the damage incurred by Reyna during the 12s window will be healed at a rate of 20HP/s. Press Q while the window is active to abruptly finish the timer and heal up. Throughout the interaction, Reyna does not have ability cast animations.
Press Q while a soul orb is in line of sight to OVERHEAL with it (like how it works now)- this consumes the purple charge. E is only usable through a soul orb- this also consumes the purple charge.
X: Empress - Enter frenzy mode. The purple charge gets unlimited and can be used as long as there is a soul orb available. Ult points requirement: 7 > 6
And those are all the changes. If you made it to the end, thank you for reading my weeks worth of thinking.

So I picked up Biomutant a couple of days ago and I'm having a blast, and today I decided "You know what, this pistol isn't cutting it anymore, I want to make a couple new guns and dual wield". So off I go, hunting down good parts and figuring out how I'm gonna arrange this. But what I'm noticing is that I can't find a merchant who sells magazines, and I can't find any looting. I've got a single Embiggener and that's it, it's been sitting in my pocket since level 3 because I hadn't thought to make a gun since I kept finding them in quests. I'm now level 22 and magazines are the only gun part I can't seem to find. I have 70 luck and I'm finding awesome gun weapon bases, stocks, grips, and muzzle everywhere, but no magazines. I'd take anything at this point but I can't find anything. Are they just stupid rare? Should I be hunting down a specific merchant?

This will function as a one-stop guide to sound deaden the 3rd generation Mazda3. I believe it will be useful for any previous or next-gen Mazda3 owner, or anyone with a CX-30, as these platforms share many components.
Like others undertaking this project, I did a ton of research on sound deadening, the process, and the products first before jumping in. I would encourage anyone pursuing the same project to read through the links I’ve included in this write-up as they should give you all the information you need to sound-deaden your car in a comprehensive, easy manner, without having to do the weeks of research I had to do.
Pre-reading:
If you haven’t already, read through this thread for background as this is a solid, comprehensive write-up.
https://www.mazda3revolution.com/threads/sound-deadening-my-17-mazda-3-bn.242072/
Materials Needed:
1. Butyl-based mat to apply first as your base layer
I used 72 square feet to do the entire car, including hood, wheel wells, full interior, rear hatch area, and all doors. I did not do the headliner.
Total cost: $200 CAD
I used 1 box of 2mm (80 mil) Kilmat, and 1 box of 2.5mm Amazon branded butyl sheets. I found the Kilmat had better adhesion and was easier to cut and work with, because of the smaller sheet sizes, so I used this for tight spaces and the doors. The Amazon stuff was great to apply to large areas such as the floor of the vehicle, because I would just stick one entire sheet down and be done with it. It’s also slightly cheaper than the Kilmat.
Other brands: Silless, which manufactures the closed cell foam, also makes this stuff for a reasonable price.

2. Closed cell foam as the second layer
I used 100 square feet.
Total cost: $200
I did a LOT of research and shopping around to find the best balance between price, value, and performance of closed cell foam. I ultimately landed on using Siless Liner 157mil (4mm) closed cell foam which I found on Amazon. Noico is also another brand that makes this stuff for slightly more cost. These come in boxes of 51 square feet for about $100. I thus bought two boxes of the stuff. I did end up with leftover product, which I have saved as it can be used to stick on anything else that causes noise such as a furnace, washing machine, etc along with the leftover butyl mat.

3. Rubber-based floor underlay as the final layer
I used a 100 square foot roll of Technoflex Underlayment Acoustic Membrane, 2mm thickness.
Total cost: $85
Product link: https://www.rona.ca/en/product/technofloor-technoflex-underlayment-acoustic-membrane-thermal-insulation-4-ft-x-25-ft-x-008-in-100-sqft-rubber-material-black-m2000-100-73015020
Alternate link: https://technoflexintl.com/en/product/technofloor-acoutstic
Other products I considered, but chose against as the Technoflex is thicker

• https://www.rona.ca/en/product/mono-serra-zito-200-ft2-15-mm-blue-high-density-foam-underlayment-for-vinyl-floors-fm-906-84666069
• https://www.rona.ca/en/product/selitbloc-griptec-subfloor-underlay-pressure-resistent-foam-48-in-w-x-25-ft-l-100-sqft-15-mm-thickness-blue-gold-a64305-05075003

In Canada, you cannot find mass loaded vinyl. My goal was to find something relatively cheap and functional. I went to underlay because it’s sold in bulk and there are many products out there to compare effectiveness. Flooring underlay also has specific requirements in order to carry a particular sound deadening rating. It’s also rubber-based, like vinyl, so I figured I would just double up on layering as I had enough product to do so. I did end up doubling up the layering in most places and had leftover product.
Please note, this product is not adhesive. You lay it down like a blanket and you need to cut it to fit in tight spaces. Thus, I did not use it in vertical areas like the doors. I only used it on the floor and trunk of the vehicle. I am not technically inclined enough to adhere or screw it on the doors, but there are other people in the links on this thread who have done so, so depending on your skill level it is certainly possible.

All Tools Required

1. Socket set with 10mm socket and a Phillips screwdriver. I purchased a full socket set because I did not have one and found one on sale.
2. E-torx socket size 12 to remove the front seats. I just purchased a set of 8 for $20
3. Trim removal tool and plastic clip replacements, approx. $20. Extremely useful!!
   • https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B01N9AL149?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details
   • The metal trim removal tool is worth its weight in gold. Trust me, there are a LOT of plastic trim pieces to remove, and this tool makes them very easy to remove properly without breaking anything. All cars nowadays use plastic trim, so it’s a worthwhile purchase if you’re ever going to do work on any future car as well.
   • I purchased the set above because it came with a whole array of trim removal tools as well as a huge variety of replacement plastic trim pieces. I ended up using a couple pieces that broke when I did the doors. The kit has everything you may need for most vehicles, including our Mazdas.
4. Rubber roller, $12. Useful for rolling down the butyl mat and closed cell foam.
   • https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B01N9AL149?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details
5. Do yourself a favor and get some gloves. I used my bare hands for about 50% of the time, and they were sore, and had little nicks and cuts all over them by the time I was done. Much easier with gloves.

Skill Level
I have a general interest in cars but the most technical work I’ve ever done are oil changes and tire swaps. This was the largest and most technical project I ever embarked on. I work an office job, so I don’t even work with my hands a lot. If I can do it, so can you (as long as you set aside the time and have the proper tools).

Results
I did not take before-after videos, as that has been captured by videos on Youtube as well as people who have measured the noise levels in the threads below. All I can tell you is that this does work. In my opinion, the project even for a newb like me is totally worth it. For less than $500, and a couple days of work, you can make your Mazda feel like an entirely different vehicle.

Now, sounds and vibrations are barely transmitted going over rough roads. The car feels so much more planted and stable when going over bumps. The audio system sounds better. The doors close with a rich-sounding ‘thunk’. By far the biggest improvement is getting a whole new level of isolation within the car, which makes long trips so much more tolerable and the daily commute so much more relaxing. I would 100% do this again.

The project
Okay, let’s get to the project itself! I’ve broken up each area of the car into separate sections. As the write-ups below are fairly comprehensive, there is no need for me to reinvent the wheel.

Doors
This link contains pictures and instructions, very clearly detailed, on how to do the doors. I did the rear doors first to get used to working with all the materials, then the trunk, then the interior of the car. I would suggest following these instructions.
https://imgur.com/a/2018-mazda-3-sound-deadener-install-vE1o9Hi
Before taking apart your doors, also read through this thread as it contains some more details and information that you will find useful.
https://www.mazda3revolution.com/threads/sound-deadening.126105/?post_id=1624345&nested_view=1&sortby=oldest#post-1624345
This thread is also good to read as it is very detailed. It is for the previous generation, but the door design has not changed that much compared to our generation.
https://www.mazda3revolution.com/threads/cheaply-and-effectively-sound-deadening-your-2010-2013-mazda3.111385/

Wheel arches
Use these links and instructions for the wheel arches
https://www.mazda3revolution.com/threads/sound-deadening.126105/page-2
As well as the Imgur gallery from the Doors section for some more pictures.

Trunk
This is the easiest part of the whole project. If you’ve read the threads above, you don’t need any help with this. I did not do the hatch door. I do not think that is worth it, because if your trunk area is well insulated and you have your rear seat up, there’s not a lot of noise that’s going to get through the hatch door.

Interior
This is the part of the project that I had to figure out on my own, so I want to give several tips that will make it easier if you’re doing this.

~1. Removing the interior carpet:~
First vacuum the carpet.
You don't need to remove the entire console to get access to the majority of the floor. To remove the interior carpet, first remove the rear seat, then the front seats, then the interior plastic trim, and finally there are some pieces of Styrofoam in the front wheel wells. You can pull up the carpet for the left side of the vehicle as you work on that side, then tack it all down, and repeat for the right side of the vehicle.

~2. Removing the front seats~
First, disconnect the battery using the 10mm socket. This is recommended by the manufacturer to prevent accidental discharge of the air bags.
If you have the E-torx size 12 socket, removing the seat bolts is a breeze. I zipped them right off. Undo the back bolts, then slide the seat to its rearmost position, then remove the front bolts. Roll the seat onto it’s back to access the harness, undo the harness, then remove the front seat either from the front or rear door. It doesn’t matter.
Go to this site and download the PDF that Anchorman posted. That is all you need to know to remove the front harness. It took me HOURS of searching the web to find a resource this good – there aren’t even any good videos demonstrating what the PDF shows. https://www.cx3forum.com/threads/drivers-seat-removal.17234/
This was both the easiest and hardest thing about the project. Where I got stuck was removing the wiring harness from underneath the seat. Don’t be like me and stick a screwdriver in there, because that can damage the plastic. Instead, simply lift the white tab, press the tab underneath, and the harness comes off nice and easy. The link above with the PDF by Anchorman is what I WISHED I had at the start. I hope this will make it much easier for you.
Don’t be worried about the airbag going off etc. Using the diagram in the PDF, it’s just 1 harness and it comes off super easy and clips back in super easy too. It’s idiot-proof. You won’t have any trouble.

~3. Remove the interior plastic trim~
Again, watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aat4kUanm9w to see how to remove the trim and in what order. It’s actually quite easy and easy to reinstall as well. Just remember that the front and rear passenger scuff plates go on last. The other interior trim, does not matter what order you reinstall it.
Another tip, when removing the furthermost front inside trim (i.e the fusebox cover) and its equivalent on the front passenger side, there is a plastic nut securing that trim in place at the very front of it. It’s hard to see in there. Simply reach your hand in there, find the nut, and lefty-loosen it all the way until it comes off. Easy peasy!

~4. Remove the carpet~
You can pull up the carpet one side at a time. I recommend starting with the left side. In one area only, I cut through my carpet in order to remove it on the rear passenger areas, where it is affixed underneath the front seatbelt holder. This is not a problem. It was just easier this way, and because that area gets covered up by plastic trim, it doesn’t matter if you cut through it to make your life easier.
Once the carpet is lifted up, vacuum underneath it to ensure you have a clean surface that your butyl will adhere to.

~5. Do the driver’s side first!~
The front left side of the vehicle floor is the hardest to do because you have to contend with the footrest, reaching underneath the steering wheel, and the gas pedal. I removed the accelerator pedal – it is just held in place by two 10mm nuts, and then an electrical harness that easily clips off. Remove it and set it aside. Then, lift the carpet and remove the Styrofoam. Use a needlenose plyer to help unclip the plastic portion holding the Styrofoam in place. I did not end up reinstalling that plastic piece, as I installed sound deadener where it would have plugged into the floor. No harm.
I suggest doing the driver’s side first because once you’re done that front left area, the rest of the car is super easy. So do this while you’re fresh. Try to cover as much as you can in the front wheel wells, because that is a significant area of incoming road noise. Be systematic about cutting the butyl and closed cell foam in the correct sizes here, as you will have to reinstall the gas pedal, the Styrofoam, and the carpet properly. The good news is that it’s all easy to reinstall. I didn’t have any trouble.
Once you’re done with the driver’s compartment, systemically work your way with large butyl sheets and closed cell foam through the rest of the car floor. There is no need to apply this stuff up where the plastic trim will be reinstalled, on the inside lateral frame of the car – if you do so, it might be more difficult to reinstall the carpet and the plastic trim. Just do the flat bottom floor only, and you can hold the carpet up to access up along the centre console as well. (Keep in mind this is written for someone with my skill level – i.e newb. If you are more advanced and know what you’re doing, then go ahead and put some butyl or CCM in the inside lateral area, the area otherwise covered up with plastic trim).
I did not go for 100% coverage. To do that would take a lot longer. I went for about 90% coverage with the butyl and closed cell foam, and the rubber Technoflex layers covered up pretty well 95% of the area.
When you are laying the material down, ensure not to cover the holes for the seat bolts. If you do by accident, no worries – just use a screwdriver to poke through them, and you can easily still thread the bolt through when you go to reinstall your front seats.
Repeat the same steps on the right side of the vehicle.

~6. Reinstall the plastic trim.~
First reinstall the carpet and ensure all the holes line up. Reinsert the plastic clips into the holes to hold the carpet in place. Then, reinstall the frontmost trim piece, ensuring it clicks into place, and finally screw the plastic nut on. You may need to lift the rubber insert around the door to replace the plastic trim properly – the rubber insert comes off and goes on very easily, it is very forgiving to work with.
Then, install the B pillar trim piece. Then, the inside rear trim piece. Finally, the scuff plates, front and rear.

~7. Reinstall the front seats.~
~8. Reinstall the rear cushion.~
~9. Plug in the battery again.~
You’re done! Go for a rest drive and let the results speak for themselves!

Final thoughts
I did not take pictures because I was too busy installing the stuff and there are plenty of pictures available on the various threads.
I did reach out to many people on the forum and on Reddit who have done this project and from everything that I’ve learned, I believe this should be all you need to know to do this project successfully.
It will take several days so set some time aside. Here are some rough estimates:

• Trunk: 2 hours
• Each door: 2-3 hours (first door will take longer, then each door after gets shorter and shorter)
• Wheel wells: 2 hours
• Inside Hood: 1 hour
• Interior: 9 hours. Set aside a full day for this. You will want to take breaks in between steps. It took me from 10am to 8pm.

I first started noticing that something was wrong around 3 months ago. At the time, I was working from home and would usually light a scented candle while I worked, which usually helped me relax and stay focused on my work. I would usually burn through a candle a week, but over time, the candles started to take less time to fully burn up. At first, I thought that this was because of a change in ingredients the company that made the candles used, but the problem persisted after I switched candle brands, which I once again blamed on the candle manufacturers.
I kept this belief for another week until the first incident. While getting up from my computer desk, which faces away from the candle, to take a quick bathroom break, I caught a glimpse of the lit candle. A two-inch layer of molten wax rested on another three-inch layer of solid wax, the wicks rising out at first and being somewhat visible through the molten layer, finally breaking the surface and being slowly burned away. The flames flickered as I swung the door open and walked out of the room. When I returned 10 minutes later, the molten layer was gone, and the wicks had been shortened so that the flames rested right above the solid layer of the wax. At first, I thought that the glass jar that contained the candle was leaking, but after a short inspection, I was only able to find two small drops of candle wax that had solidified right next to the candle on the bedside table. I still had 2 hours of work left to do, but I was too lost in thought and was unable to do any work for the rest of the day.
Every night before I go to sleep, I like to read for at least 30 minutes, and while reading, I usually light a candle. Around 4 days later, I had mostly forgotten about the incident and went back to using candles. Due to my naivety, it returned.
I fell asleep while reading with a candle lit on my bedside table. I woke up to loud slurping noises. As I opened my eyes, the brightness of the light I had not turned off almost blinded me. As my eyes tried to readjust to the light and focus on what was in front of me, I saw a somewhat humanoid dark gray to light blue blur that contrasted with the white paint on the walls behind it. Another gray line stretched from the shape's head to the candle on my bedside table. I could feel my heart skip five consecutive beats. I opened my mouth and tried to force out a scream for help, but the pressure I applied to my throat was way beyond what it was able to handle, leading me to only produce a light wheezing sound. I tried to sit up or to at least prop myself up, but my muscles failed me. Trying to push myself up with my arms felt impossible. As I stared at the figure that had suddenly appeared in my room, my eyes finally managed to focus, making it possible for me to see the intruder who was now staring at me. The figure was a man at least 7 feet tall, fully naked; he looked bloated; his eyes were bloodshot and looked like they would pop out of their sockets; at any point, his skin was a grayish light blue.
HIS LIPS
His lips extended from his mouth like an elephant's trunk, which had been split in half. The lips extended from the man's face to the candle; the flames had been put out. He was using his lips as a makeshift straw, slowly sucking up all the molten wax from the candle, which had fully liquified while I was asleep. I laid in bed, unable to move, unable to scream for help, staring until he emptied the jar. His lips retracted back to his face, the molten wax solidifying on their tips and cracking, flakes of wax falling off the man's lips and falling to the floor. The man grinned, staring at me. The ridges and gaps between the teeth were filled in with wax, making it impossible to make out where one tooth ended and the next one began. The man opened the door he was standing next to, but instead of walking out of the room, he stepped behind it. His face peered at me from above the door, and then once again, like he had done to drink the wax, the man puckered his lips, which stretched from his mouth and floated to me. I shook and tried to roll over away from him. I wanted to get up and run, but my fear had taken over my body. Tears flowed from my eyes. He kissed me on the cheek, leaving flakes of wax and light moisture. He retracted his lips and lowered his head behind the door.
I don't remember falling asleep, but when I woke up, I saw the empty glass jar, which at one point contained the candle. Even though I had hoped that what had happened was a dream, it wasn't. I still had flakes of wax on my cheek, and on my bedroom floor, the wax in the jar had disappeared. I called the police, but they were unable to find anyone in my apartment; they also could not find any evidence of a break-in.
After the break-in, I started looking for a new apartment to move to, thinking that the man was tied to the building I was in, but even though I had thrown out all of my candles, I could not stomach spending another hour in my apartment, constantly looking over my shoulder or walking around with my back pressed up against the wall to not allow it to creep up on me. Thankfully, my friend Emma was able to let me stay over at her apartment while I looked for a new one for myself.
Me and Emma have been friends since we were 8, and we've been there to support each other when times get rough. This isn’t the first time I've had to stay over at her house for an extended amount of time; in fact, I have had to stay over at Emma’s as many times as she has had to stay over at my apartment, whether it was because of evictions after losing a job, breakups, or a candle wax drinking squatter. I didn't even know if it was human. I mean, sure, it looked like one, but human lips are not supposed to do what his did, and somehow it didn't have a reaction to molten wax being poured down its esophagus. I didn't tell Emma about what happened—the details at least—I just told her that a man had broken into my house and was watching me sleep. The only people I told the truth to were my therapist and the cops, and all of them disregarded what I told them as my mind making things up after a traumatic event.
For a while, I believed what they said—I mean, why wouldn’t I?—but then I started seeing him again. For a few days, I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me again like it had done during the night of the incident. For split seconds out of the corner of my eye, I would see the outline of a tall, bloated figure. At first, they were hours apart, but after a while, it became constant. He was standing in each room I passed, in every single dark corner I glanced past, and then he spoke.
“FeeD MeEeee”
It stood in the kitchen, peering over from a small gap between the fridge and the sink, where the trash can that had been knocked over onto its side usually stood. His voice was raspy, and every word that came out of his mouth was distorted as if he were gargling water, but still, I could somehow clearly make out each word he said from over 15 feet away.
“Please just leave me alone I… why are you following me?”
I shouted at the figure, the same fear that had taken over my body during the night I saw him for the first time paralyzing me, making it impossible for me to move anything other than my eyes, eyelids, and mouth.
“i’M sTarviNg, I nEEd You To FeEd ME”
It replied again. Now, stepping out from behind the fridge, he stepped directly onto a rotten banana. Its mushy brown content’s seeping out of the peel under the pressure of his decomposing foot, which was covered in scabs, and took up the same grayish light blue color as the rest of his body. He mostly looked the same; his bloodshot eyes bulged from their sockets, but now his tongue was swollen. It peeked out from between his bloated, cracked gray lips; it stared at me, waiting for an answer.
“Ok, I’ll.. I’ll feed you, but please just... leave me alone.”
I replied, the tone of my voice shifting into high-pitched squeals with every quick breath I took. He looked satisfied by my response. He somehow squeezed his bloated body back into the gap that was at least four times smaller than him. After peering over at me from above the fridge, he bent over backwards, his spine releasing a series of sickening cracks until he was fully obscured by the fridge, and then he vanished.
Still barely in control of my body, I limped over to the couch tucked away in the back corner of the living room, it took me at least 10 minutes to steady my breathing and 20 more to fully regain control of my body again but as soon as I did I ran out the house and to the nearest store, during the 15-minute walk he stared at me through dark windows and the backs of cars, peered out at me from gaps between leaves in the trees and bushes, he even followed me into the store staring at me from the middle of deserted isles before disappearing right before my eyes were able to fully catch him, once I finally got the candles I randomly picked four off of the shelves and rushed to the self checkout.
When I arrived home, I had 2 hours before Emma got off work. I didn't want to feed it while she was home, and I didn't want her to see it. I pulled out two of the candles from the black plastic bag and placed them on the kitchen table, the first a light blue candle named “Garden Rain” and the second a red candle named “Juicy Watermelon." I pulled out a lighter from one of the drawers Emma used after her stove stopped lighting on its own and lit each of the 6 wicks on the candles. As soon as I started seeing the wax melt under the heat of the burning wicks, I dropped the lighter onto the table next to the candles and ran out of the room. I could not stomach seeing that thing again; even just thinking about it made me shudder and hyperventilate. The paralyzing fear that seeing him caused me made me want to vomit.
At least 30 minutes later I started to hear it drink even though the living room and kitchen were separated by a wall, even though I had closed the door I could still hear what at first started as slurping sounds which were followed up by loud gulps, then it stopped, and once again 30 minutes later it started drinking, as the slurping started once again I heard the door to the apartment crack open, it was Emma, as she stepped through the door I saw her carrying two large brown paper bags of groceries in her hands, she was headed to the kitchen.
“Hey let me grab those for you”
I said running over to her, my voice shaking.
“Oh, thanks. Are you… okay, you look scared?”
My eyes shot wide open in a mixture of fear and surprise. I said the first thing that came to mind.
“Yeah just umm… I didn't expect you to come home so early and I got a bit spooked”
“shit sorry, I know I should have called you, work let me off early today,”
I started to turn away from her walking to the kitchen.
Trying to keep her away from the kitchen I told her to wait for me in the living room because I wanted to talk to her about something. I didn't know what I would talk to her about but that was a problem for future me to resolve, somehow it worked.
“What's that sound?”
She called out to me while walking towards the living room couch. It took me a few seconds to come up with an excuse.
“I think it’s the sink, or the pipes at least”
I opened the door to the kitchen with my eyes closed at first hesitant to look knowing what would be greeting me. slowly prying my eyes open I started to see its outline, my muscles started to lose strength as the details of the man came into my view, I felt the grocery bags start to slip from my arms, my knees buckled, face first I fell onto the kitchen floor scattering the groceries all over the floor, I mixture of a light scream and a yelp escaped from my mouth as my body made contact with the floor, Emma concerned for my safety ran into the kitchen, she didn't scream, using all of the strength and mobility I had left in my muscles I rolled over expecting to see her face drenched in terror, her body frozen still unable to move just like my body had done the first time that I saw him, but Emma looked concerned, the man was gone, she crouched down beside me.
“Oh my god are you ok? What happened?”
I looked around observing my surroundings.
“I um… I… I tripped on the little thing at the bottom of the doorframe”
I finally managed to blurt out another excuse, not being able to remember what the name of a door sill was. I started to sit up using a part of the energy that had returned to my body, pain pulsed through my chest and arms, Emma looked at me with a concerned face.
“You've been acting really weird since I got home, are you sure you're ok?”
“Yeah… I think I’m just having one of those days you know”
The confusion on Emma’s face said that she didn’t know and to be honest I didn't either, I guess my luck of pulling random excuses out of my ass ran out, Emma thought that she triggered some sort of PTSD response after barging into the house unannounced at first apologizing then trying to change the subject to stop my trembling which I was still unsuccessfully trying to hide from her.
“Did you buy candles?”
Emma asked picking the groceries apart from the garbage that spilled out the can that the man had knocked over, placing them on the table next to the now half-empty glass jars, the flames flickered above the inch or so of molten wax the man was unable to finish drinking.
“Yeah I’ve been struggling with work lately, they usually help me focus”
“Huh Interesting combination you’ve got going on here”
She looked at me and smiled slightly, I smiled back and chuckled to seem normal.
“Yeah even I don't know what I was trying to accomplish here, to be honest”
I tried to help Emma clean up the spilled groceries but she did not let me, she told me that I needed to recover like I had been in a car crash instead of having taken a little tumble. After a few seconds of silence, Emma spoke again.
“Anyway, what did you want to talk to me about earlier?”
A quick jolt of stress shot through my body, in a jumbled mess of lies and fear I had forgotten what I had told Emma, I sat there in silence for a few seconds unable to come up with an excuse
“I…umm… I don’t remember, it wasn't anything serious though”
“Damn did you hit your head too?”
She said once again proudly smiling at her joke.
At this point Emma picked up the last bag of potato chips from the floor and placed it on the table, then she opened the fridge and started loading the groceries into it.
“Anyway I gotta go get back to work’’
I blurted out after a few more seconds of awkward silence.
“Alright well good luck”
I walked over into the living room and sat down in front of my workstation, which now consisted of a laptop sitting on a small foldable TV tray that had just barely enough room left on it to fit a small USB mouse.
The last thing I remember, before I fell asleep, was me mindlessly scrolling through apartment listings while Emma watched a random 90’s horror movie I’m positive only had a budget of $500.
I woke up with a light stinging pain shooting through my dry throat, and a dim hissing sound caused by thousands of water drops striking the ground outside filled the room. I pressed the spacebar on my laptop, the brightness of the screen blinding me temporarily, after taking a few seconds to let my eyes readjust I managed to make out the time, 3:45 AM. A strong smell I was unable to make out the origin of assaulted my nostrils. Lavender.
The smell hitting my nose had the same effect on me that I would expect smelling salts would have on a weightlifter right before they set a world record. Before I knew it my legs were moving on their own at an almost uncontrollable pace, fighting back against my mind which was telling them to slow down after years of being used to navigating both mine and Emma’s apartment as steadily as possible to not bother the neighbors.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity I stood before Emma’s bedroom door, a faint, yellow, pulsating light radiated from a lamp and snuck out of a small gap between the door and the doorframe, reluctantly I pushed my left hand up against the door, my right hand grasping onto the door frame for a sense of stability, once the door was fully agape I scanned the inside of the room my heart skipping a beat for every humanoid shadow cast up onto the wall by the lights from the wicks which were set ablaze and were being slowly burnt away.
I walked into Emma’s room and made my way over to her bedside table to put out the candle, as I stepped closer towards her, her face became more defined, I could finally make out her features, she was awake, but no she could not have been, even though her eyes were wide open they never blinked, she didn't even move slightly, as I moved closer I finally managed to fully make out the expression of pure terror on her face, her mouth wide agape as if she was about to release a deafening screach, but she could not have, a single drop of solidified wax dribbled out of the corner of her mouth and clung to her cheek, my eyes traced the cream colored path back towards her mouth, first up her cheek then between the corner of her mouth and finally behind her teeth, there instead of her tongue or the roof of her mouth I saw a wall of wax which had filled in the entirety of her mouth.
I fell to my knees and hunched forward supporting my body weight with my arms, I was too late, I resisted the urge to vomit and got back up onto my feet, a mixture of tears and snot slid down my face and onto my lips, shaking now I slowly started limping over towards my phone which I had left on the couch next to where I had awoken just minutes before, just minutes before my life was destroyed because of my lies if I had just told Emma what I had gone through, if I had just told her what had happened on the night of the incident which now seemed trivial, even if she thought that I was crazy, I know that she would have complied just to make me feel comfortable.
It took me at least 30 seconds of repeated attempts to stabilize my hands enough to properly dial 911. “Someone broke into my apartment and hurt my friend” was the only reasonable explanation I could come up with that would not get the operator to hang up on me thinking that this was a prank call.
I sat there in the living room for an agonizing 10 minutes, crying, my sadness slowly transformed into anger towards myself, and my mind raced thinking of all the lies I’d told, I kept thinking that if I had just told her the truth she would not have been laying there in her bed, her body bloated, “every single orifice has signs of forced penetration and has been filled with what seems to be candle wax” is what was written on her autopsy report.
For a few days I was the main suspect in Emma’s murder, but due to the almost unstoppable crying and the unresponsive state that I was in when the police arrived, mixed with the lack of evidence of me having a way to produce 30 pounds of candle wax led to me being released out of police custody, but because I was the main suspect I was not told any details about what had fully happened to Emma, for days all I had to work off of was the image of her face frozen in terror, and a short glance I caught of her bloated body as she was being carted out on a stretcher.
I recounted every single word of our last conversations over and over again until they became permanently etched into my brain.
Emma’s parents originally wanted to cremate her, as that is what she had somewhat jokingly asked for whenever the topic of funerals came up, well she had joked about wanting to have had unpopped popcorn shoved down her throat before she was sent off to “scare the shit out of the guy cremating me” but due to all the wax which would have been impossible to get out of her body they were forced to bury her.
A few days before Emma’s funeral her body disappeared.
After Emma’s death, her parents took me into their home, after reading the autopsy reports and seeing her corpse they had thrown out every single candle they owned which made their home the safest choice I had, still, this did not stop me from buying a machete and keeping it under my bed, just in case.
I was laying on the bed in their guest bedroom The day that the police informed Emma’s parents about her disappearance, the bedroom is right above the front porch of the house, at first I heard them ring the doorbell which was followed up by 3 powerful knocks on the door, for about a minute I laid there on the bed listening to muffled voices exchanging distorted words I was barely able to make out which slowly transformed into distorted weeps, curious I lifted myself up from the bed, made my way over to the window and carefully lifted the bottom panel making Shure to not make too much noise, the distorted muffled sounds started forming into coherent words “We checked the security footage but the only strange thing we could see was a 5 second time jump” one of the officers spoke in a serious and almost monotone voice “which meant that the security guard who was the only person in the building had to climb down 2 flights of stairs walk through a 40 foot long hallway and then drag her body back up stairs and out of the building in 5 seconds” Emma’s mom let out yelp “ but don’t worry ma'am that’s actually good news because we know that her corpse is still somewhere within the building and was probably brought to the wrong floor by an intern, we’ve already warned all of the staff at the hospital to keep an eye out, and we also sent 5 officers to search the hospital”
I could not believe what I was hearing, my breathing quickened, but this time instead of fear I felt anger, that fucker stole her corpse and was probably in the weird separate plane of existence he always went back to after terrorizing me, cutting off chunks of her body, melting her, and drinking her.
I closed the window Emma’s mom's cries once again turned into a muffled rumble which was only possible to make out if you knew what to look for, I took a few steps back away from the window planning to lay back down, not wanting to bother Emma’s parents. I bumped into something, not something, someone, its fleshy towering form as solid as a wall sent me tumbling forward, I knew it was him, he had returned to take me too, to stretch his swollen cracked lips, push them down my esophagus, fill my lungs and stomach with wax. But despite all of that this time I was not scared, I was angry, and I was not going to stand there in terror like I had the last time I saw him.
I fell forward onto my knees my face missing the window sill just by mere inches, I put my hands onto the floor, lifted one of my knees, and rotated 180 degrees now facing the monster, to the right of him pushed up against the wall was the bed, light from the sun reflected off of the metallic button which kept my machete in it’s sheathe, the man started to stretch his lips, they were moving towards me, waving a wiggling through the air like a snake slithering towards me.
I dove towards the bed one of my feet pushing off of the floor and the other pushing against the wall which creaked under the pressure applied to it, I flew for a few moments before slamming down onto the carpet and sliding forward, the heat generated by my skin brushing against the carpet released a sharp stinging pain throughout my body, my outstretched arm landed just a few inches short of the machete, I quickly bent my arms, pushing my body up and crawled towards the machete. my fingers wrapped around the handle I spun around, my back pushed up against the bedside table, once again facing the man, he was still facing the window but his lips faced me and were just a few feet away from me, for what felt like minutes but was most likely no longer than a second, I struggled to hook my finger under the strap securing the machete into its sheath, as the lips inched towards me the man started producing gurgling noises, he was regurgitation wax.
I finally pulled the machete out of its sheath, I swung the blade at the man's lips, the blade was not met with any resistance as it sliced through the man’s lips which landed on the carpeted floor with an audible thud, the man did not have a physical reaction to my counter-attack, his lips kept creeping towards me, once again I slashed at the lips, still no reaction, I repeated this at least 3 more times.
I wanted to kill him, I wanted to take revenge for what he had done to Emma, but fighting back was pointless. I realized that no matter how much I tried to hurt it, I could not kill him, I could not get rid of him.
My rage dissipated and a mixture of fear and sadness crept in, and soon took over my body, I screamed for help, I screamed in fear, in agony, tears streamed down my face as the man's lips finally reached my face, he wasn’t met with any resistance as his lips snuck between mine, pried my jaw open and finally started to slide down my esophagus.
I heard the cops run up the stairs, they started banging on the door asking if I was okay only to have been met with muffled screams, hot wax started to pour down inside of me, the stinging pain of the heat made me want to plunge the machete which I had dropped onto the ground next to me into my stomach to create a gaping wound that the wax would hopefully funnel out of, the texture of the man's slippery, oily lips matched with the poison like flavor of the wax caused me to start gagging, I felt my insides bulging like at any moment my intestines would have been filled to the point where they would pop, I wanted to vomit, the drain myself of the filth I was filled with, but his lips had plugged my throat not allowing anything to get out.
Hearing my muffled screams the cops started kicking the door down, the man retracted his lips, the suction aided my attempts at cleansing my insides, I got onto my hands and knees streams of molten wax pouring out of me, solidifying on the the carpet, with another loud thud the door swung open slamming into the wall, the man was gone.
That’s the last thing I remember before I passed out, but according to one of the doctors who was in the ambulance that brought me to the hospital, I was still semi-responsive during the first 10 minutes of the ride to the hospital.
Approximately 13.4 pounds of wax were removed from my body, the doctors said that I was in a critical condition and some of them did not expect me to make it.
One of the officers who was there the day the man attacked me took a report of what had happened to me, due to the unmistakable evidence of what had happened to both me and Emma, and the fact that this was the 3rd instance of me reporting something like this the police finally started investigating who this man might have been.
Around a month later I was discharged from the hospital and once again have been staying in the living room of Emma’s parent's house.
I’ve been seeing the man again, candles were not allowed in the hospital I stayed at, which means that he’s probably very hungry, he’s close to attacking me again, I know it, he wants to finish what he started and I don't know if I have the power to fight back, I’m not sure if defeating him is even possible, I’m tired.
I’ve been seeing Emma too, her bloated, reanimated corpse often appears to be standing next to the man. If I let him take me will I get to join them? I’ve tried asking but they don’t answer, they just stare, I can’t keep living in constant fear, always looking over my shoulder, I miss Emma.