I have considered myself a nudist for about 2 years now. I had a huge body positivity / body acceptance phase that lead to me telling (asking politely) my roommates that id begin being naked at home. I then took a stop at Blacks Beach to walk naked for 30 minutes, and was hooked! My girlfriend has been extremely supportive and im going to try to take her to Glen Eden to see if shed join me :)
Since that first Blacks Beach visit ive continued being naked primarily at home, but I want to meet others to talk to and go to clothing optional locations! I would even appreciate meeting for coffee or something in order to talk beforehand if that helps warm anyone up.
I really enjoy the feeling of freedom that being nude provides. That it should be desexualized and allow people to just be. I think the human body is beautiful and all our bodies tell stories. Looking to make friends to talk and discuss with :) eventually going to clothing optional beaches/resorts if comfortable
Thank you!

This is my first post here, most likely won't be posting much but this sub has helped me with lots of tips the weeks before surgery, but also made me scared of things that I really didn't have to be so I want to make a positive post to show you that yes you can do this and do well on the first 10 days.
Just for the reference I'm over 40 and had the surgery done because of a shoulde back problem, went from a DD to maybe a C, doctor said wouldn't take much more than that and although some days were tough I look back now and think that went by really fast. Another thing, I went to school for Nutrition so I tried to keep a very good diet pre and post op, I'm already getting out of the track but first week I did great LOL
So here's what worked for me:
Increase your protein intake before and after surgery. I don't really like to eat meat/ chicken every day but I've been doing just because I have to, also eating other kinds of protein.
High fiber diet and lots of water (and walk) - from the beginning I knew I didn't want to take stool softeners or laxatives and because of that I ate lots of salad, fresh fruits (stay away from apples), multigrain bread, ActiviA yogurt, probiotic juice, lots of liquids and I was walking since 1DPO, all started to work on 2DPO and by the 3rd day I was going to the bathroom normally. Also: this is pretty good, cook some dry apricots in water and eat, works better than prunes.
Things that I bought and used:
Couldn't shower for 48h so these rinse free bathing wipes worked amazing to keep me clean. I have to add a note here that I was very scared of showering, after the first shower (seating on a little stool, don't buy a shower chair, just use any little stool with a towel on the seat) I didn't shower for 2 days because I was way too scared and mostly because I was scared to look at my stitches and because I read horror stories here. With prayers and a good pep talk I took a shower all by myself after 2 days.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XQ9NQPQ?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details
I bought a mastectomy pillow just because I have 2 dogs and one of them loves to jump on me otherwise I wouldn't have bought
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CPMFFVKP?ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details&th=1
I used lots of pillow to sleep and worked fine, don't waste your money buying those pregnancy pillows, each day you're going to want a pillow in a different place.
These pads are the best to use inside your bra, you will have some drainage and these work perfectly
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09YVPCT6N?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details
That leads to bras, what an ordeal. The bra I came from the surgery was some medical bra that is exactly the Carole Martin on Amazon (thanks for someone who wrote about it on this sub), I got an extra one but was horrible, digging on my armpits. That fruit of the loom that everyone raves about it also had the same problem for me, not mention the elastic on top of my incisions. This one is the best bra, it runs big so I have now 2 sizes. For reference Im a 42 on Carole Martin and I'm a L on this bra (bought an XL which works but it's a big too big), doctor said I could use and change my bra no problem
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CQLXQJS2?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details Yesterday a friend who is a RN told me that I could use cortisone cream + AD cream or DESITIN cream on top because most likely the pain on my armpits was because the bra was chaffing my armpits, now Im also using a chaffing gel and things are improving.
And here's the most important tip I'm going to give you, have people with you, tell friends and family that you are having a surgery, it's good to have people praying/ cheering on you, checking on you, bringing you food (although I said many times we didn't need cause I filled my freezer with meals), this part is the most important, makes you feel loved and cherished. You just went/ going through a major surgery and the first few days it's almost impossible to do something by yourself. Having someone helping you out and taking care of you makes a world of difference.
On the 4DPO I went to get my hair washed at the salon, it was great getting out the house, seeing people and being pampered a little bit. Made me feel special and pretty, believe me you will feel very yucky after hospital and surgery. Now I shower and my husband washes my hair, still hurts a lot put my arms up.
My last tip is rubbing alcohol helped clean the sticky from the EKG leads (the sticky pads for monitoring your heart during surgery) on my skin chest, it took a couple of days to realize I had that.
I hope and pray that you (whoever reads this post) have a great surgery and recovery, that you feel very proud of yourself for doing something so brave like this and that you feel pretty confident on yourself before and after the surgery.

First of all, I am a pansexual cisgender woman. I know this looks like I have the upper hand, but trust me, I don’t.
I dated this person a couple months ago and some things felt off; however, she always played the victim card, the heartbroken, the innocent trans woman who only needed a chance in love. And me, as the underdog advocate that I am, fell for that.
I’m conscious that being a trans person is by itself already a difficult process and that you have to put up with a lot of shit that society gives you. But it’s precisely the respect that I have for your journey that motivates me to do this.
While I was dating her, sometimes she let a sexist joke or two slide. You know, like, “I wanted to be a woman, but now I don’t know if I want to be a 30-year-old woman.“ “I didn’t want to be a girl when I was a kid because while I was playing videogames, my sisters were helping out my mom in the kitchen.”
You know, sexist jokes.
But one day, we were going to order food and she said, “Why would I drink pineapple juice? Are you going to swallow my cum or what?”
And that immediately rang the alarm. She said I didn’t have a sense of humor. She said it was my fault because I took things too personal and if I was queer-er, I would actually just laugh and let it go.
We didn’t last long. She still couldn’t get over her ex (allegedly). She spoke about other women she has dated and it was super off for me. Sex was completely one-sided. She was extremely codependent. She spoke mean things about me with her friends while we were still dating!
I tried to break up with her multiple times. She even threatened me to unalive herself. She shared she had done it in the past and she said that she would do it again if I left her.
It was the worst! I was miserable.
Once we broke up, the real horror began. She started to use me for reassurance in a very twisted way. She moved on immediately with a former ex (she only ever has exes in her radar), and she started to be all like,
“Oh, please, when you go out with new people try not to talk a lot about me. Like, I know you’re still into me, but--”
“I know I was the love of your life.”
“I know you so damn well. I know you are not as happy as you were with me with this new person that you’re dating.”
Etc., etc., etc.
All of this, she told me while being involved with someone else, the ex that she hoovered back in when we broke up.
Next thing I know, something fun happened. I met a person who accused her—before her transition, when she was a man—of abuse.
It’s really weird because they two have friends in common and after she made the accusation, no one believe her. They chose to believe him. So he was a victim. He chose to start his transition not shortly after.
I have been having these ideas in my head trying to make sense of all of it. I know for a fact that she is emotionally violent. I know for a fact that she is a compulsive liar. I know for a fact that even though she is a woman, she has kept the worse aspects of being a man within her personality.
There’s also this thing—she is not friends with straight nor gay men anymore. She has one bisexual friend who identifies as a man and that’s it. And she envies him thoroughly. But she is not friends with men, really.
All of her friends are female and either dated her as a man or now as a woman. She always stays friends with the exes. Good friends. She still talks to them. Mostly, about her new conquest. All she has to tell is about her relationships.
When we broke up, she pretended to do the same. She wanted to stay friends and she started to sell this story where I was the confused ✨cisgender woman✨ since she is now dating a non-binary person.
She almost had a panic attack when I blocked out of my Instagram. She wanted to still see my Stories, see my content. Not because she wanted to keep me in her life but rather as a way of control. That way, she is in control of the narrative. And she was making sure that we are friends, so I wouldn’t expose her?
I am also kind of a closeted writer and while we were dating, I would tell her that I will write a book about our romance. When we were dating, this excited her. Yet, when we broke up, she bluffed, “Oh, I know that writing a book about me is the only natural thing to do after being with me,” but then she warned me, “But you cannot write a book about a villain who is a trans because people will use this as fuel to keep on hating the community.” How would she know she would be the villain?
I think this person is evil. And I want to understand why. I want to out her—not much for me but for the 23-year-old she is dating now. And I want none of this to hace a negative effect on the trans community because she is just 1 fucking person out of millions.
Any input could be of use! Thank you so much.

I know Jesus is your best friend now. Love is surrounding you in a way I will never comprehend until I am there with you ❤️ I'm still down here though, I'm living & learning without you ❤️ I went to a restaurant with a patio today. I know those were your favorite.. especially at nighttime ~ super brownie points if there was a fire to sit next to. 🩵 I experienced the trigger of a life time. I sat there as it began happening and had to distract myself to keep from crying. The sky was beautiful. 🧡 The air felt blissful. It breaks my heart.. The darkness of life took you away from me & I had to watch you struggle to climb out of that darkness. 🙏🏼 Alcohol took your life away & when you would be able to defeat it & the real you, the man I married, the husband who loves me more than anything on this earth was able to be the one doing the talking and walking... Those moments were everything. I wish you didn't have to fight that fight. 🌷 Even you didn't want to do the things you did, but whatever was inside of you was out to get me and you. 💚 I am thankful before God called you to be looking down on me from above instead of into my eyes by my side that you found Him again. 🧡 Your heart was where it was supposed to be my love 💕 & I hope you're getting the most amazing moments with your dad, I know you missed him more than anything. 🩷 I remembered at the restaurant today when everything went white at that bar and I had what I could only guess was an anxiety attack. I wasn't drinking, but I told you I was scared and I felt like I was going to fall. My body got hot & I got weak and dizzy & you pulled me on top of you & kept running your fingers through my hair until I could see again. You told me I am okay, you had me, you would never let anything happen to me, and how much you loved me & how beautiful I am.. until I could see again and my strength came back. 🥹 I miss you & I'll always love you.. 💞. I know alcohol was a demon and it always was, but I always picked you. No matter what. I hope you got to see the story of your life and got to see how much I loved you. How you were the only one. I've got a lot I've had to heal from and there are some small remnants left but none of my story would have been successful without you. The good and the bad. 🧡 I love you.. yes I am still your noodle ~ Disney princess ~ snow white 🥰 I was so lucky to have been able to love you and be loved by you. Please tell Jesus I love Him so He hears it from you too. 💚

Hello everyone! I wanted to write and share something constructive for this space, that hopefully goes beyond snarking specific names and personalities and helps those who have been harmed in one way or another find a bit of understanding around what happened to them and why.
I've shared pieces of my story here before but the gist is: I am not from the coaching world. I'm from the general spirituality world - from a spiritual modality that has an aspect of divine feminine and divine masculine that has always interested me, but few others in the community. I learned about this whole specific mess listening to love & light confessionals, and went deep into the rabbit hole. The perversion of understanding of masculine/feminine energy dynamics was horrifying but also enlightening. I'm big on learning how NOT to be from people who give me the major ick. This is why I've done a lot of deep diving in general on cults, gurus, and manipulative spirituality in general - and there's a lot to take away if you can go in with this mindset. I'm also hella autistic and love infiltrating niche internet subgroups whose experiences are much different than mine so I can - again - learn from the experieneces of others, and gain more empathy and understanding of the vast human experience.
I was a very forward facing person for the nonprofit I volunteered for for over 4 years. There was no "guru" that I supplicated, however there was a person formally in charge who abused their power and the willingness of others to help the organization, and was known to be cruel in private, when it suited them. I didn't see this person as above me - in fact in a lot of ways they were quite pitiful and needed a lot of help/support in their role - which is what I did, willingly and for practically free. At one point, the entire org sat down and did a call in of this person, however, they were able to push everyone that they couldn't control out of the way and rewrote the story with themselves as the victim (we all know this one). The final falling out happened at the end of 2019, so luckily for them Covid gave them some time to figure out how to run their events without me (they hired a paid staff).
Anyway, I gave many many hundreds of hours to this cause, and then the person in charge was able to take advantage of me and then push me out of the community I had served very seriously for 6 years with rumors that I had been trying to steal money. This is so far beyond the truth, and everyone involved directly knows this, but no one came to dispell the rumor. So, I've been heartbroken by supposedly "spiritual" leaders of a community, that's for sure. In fact listening to Katya was part of the cult deprogramming that me and a group who had left together went through (this group also used, abused, and betrayed me but that's another story!)
So, this isn't going to be about me, I just wanted to share my background. This is about what the divine feminine and the divine masculine "REALLY" are. This may get a bit woo in here but I can't imagine anyone here is afraid of woo. In fact it's the mystery of the spiritual experience that allows these people to cause so much harm. So let me try to remove some of that mystery.
The creation is polarized, in many ways. One of those ways is masculine/feminine. The masculine force is the will, the conscious mind, and that which puts the infinity of possible experience into order. It in and of itself is quite fallible. The feminine force is the subconscious mind - all that is - and the untapped potential of this reservoir. The masculine reaches for the feminine, and if the will (masculine) is properly configured, the unmanifest creation (feminine) will give him something in return. The masculine NEEDS the feminine but the feminine doesn't really NEED the masculine, however it does desire the masculine's attention being focused it its direction (instead of random mundane wordly experiences). And the feminine wants the masculine's attention consistently, lest the feminine will not be consistent at all in its response. This attention can be forceful or gentle, but it must be consistent.
Every human has a balance of masculine/feminine energy in them, and while women are socially conditioned to tend towards feminine expression and men towards masculine, biological sex really has very very little to do with it. There are of course, positive feminine expressions and negative, and positive male expressions and negative. What these polarity goons do is mostly focus on a mix of positive/negative masculine expression for the man, 0 female expression, and then only positive feminine expression for the woman with maybe, possibly, a bit of positive masculine expression (only during working hours when you're in seperate offices, and only if you're paying the bills, ofc)
Typically, we are attracted to partners who "balance" out our spiritual energy - so the "polarization" in a relationship can be anywhere from hyper masc/hyper femme to barely masc/barely femme - and again, this is NOT a hard and fast rule and has almost NOTHING to do with sex other than a general (mostly cultural) bias. The hyper femme/hyper masc scenario can definitely be more, well, exciting and dramatic than a relationship between two people who have very little polarized charge in that way between them. But that's likely why few of these polarity gurus have any experience in longevity of relationships - they are fueling their "twin flame" relationship with manufactured drama and trauma bonding. In reality, in a relationship, you are supposed to grow together and be more willing to meet each other where you are at in the moment, instead of demanding they be a near perfect idealized form before you offer them any attention/respect.
The reason these male teachers push polarity doctrine is literally because of their own wounding of the expression of the masculine/feminine. Men (especially USian men) have been taught that expressing any aspect of their feminine selves is repulsive and weak and probably gay. So, their solution to their own inability to be vulnerable is to attack women - for being "too masculine" - aka some balanced expression of both, normal! They want their women to be 100% pure unformed childlike energy with no will of their own, just a will that can be given to the man. They want them to embody this feminine space as close to 100% of the time so that they are forced into their masculine 100% of the time. Girlies, if you are in your masculine, this makes them feel more in their feminine and - gosh that's just icky and disgusting. You don't want your man to get a boner for you when you're in the masculine - that might make him GAY! In the very least it's totally beta to be attracted to a masculine woman and basically gay anyway. No thanks!
I'm sorry to be facetious, but this is in general a lot of the subconscious and even sometimes conscious thought processes behind these hyper polarity relationships. These are not evolved, embodied people. These are people who are still very invested in the old fashioned human status quo that has served them for a long time. We had the thread a few weeks back with the Desire on Fire lady (ugh her name escapes me) talking about how her husband had to "put her in her place" for being "too masculine" and how he really just "didnt want her" when she was in her masculine, when she was literally just running her business. Masculine wounding almost ALWAYS shows up as men being jealous of women being better at them in their own field - or really successful publicly at all - and this is why women STILL have a hard time breaking into male dominated spaces. We are systemically kept out because men die inside when they feel inferior to women. They were told this wasn't supposed to happen!!!! In fact, the person who spiritually abused me was a man - I see now how he "kept" me as a pet because of my high standing in the community. But this meant I was still firmly below him in certain ways - a much more comfortable place for me to be, someone who challenged him on his "expertise".
This polarity movement is taking a true spiritual concept and distorting it just to set women back. They don't want you to have an opinion or agency - other than "me want money" and "me want sex". They want you to play on Instagram all day and recruit ladies for them to sexually assault at your joint "retreats". They want you to only feel valued if you're made up and dressed up and "desired" by men. None of this internalized self worth stuff, only external male validation is allowed. Ladies, if any of you reading this are with some sort of this type of man, please, I beg you, choose the bear. This is the type of man who leaves you as soon as your body culminates too many signs of being aged. They are entitlted to a specific cartoon image of what they think a "woman" is, and sadly this culture has made young women INCREDIBLY easy to manipulate, so finding another partner is often quite easy for older men. It's all by design.
Here's another spiritual truth that is often obscured: One of the polarities of divinity is the left hand path and the right hand path. The left hand path is the path of control, wealth, using others, egocentrism, etc. The right hand path is about acceptance, generosity, helping others, and sacrifice. The middle path is a path with little to no power - it's the path of comfort, the path most people are on.
When one walks the middle path - i.e. has not really begun to truly develop their spiritual side - they do not yet have spiritual discernment. What happens when they come across someone who has been using spiritual principles to "build their wealth/power" is that they see someone with a spiritual light - and this isn't super common on social media. When we're hungry for it, we're like a moth to the flame. That's why they always know they'll be another mark. The problem then is when we don't have discernment, we cannot tell which "hand" the light is coming from, and often it's very easy to confuse the left hand for the right and vice versa. For instance, I am giving up a large part of my day to write this purely to help others in this community - Carly or MAL or someone might stumble upon this and see it as "evil". But that's because they see the light, but to them it's against their light, so I'm the evil one. But all I'm trying to offer is freedom of mind, and they're mad because they want your bag, and this is dependent on you being confused and them keeping a crumb of clarity behind a paywall. 💰
Now, some of these girlies are walking the "left hand path" a lot better than the others. I dont know many coaches beyond those talked about here, but I would say someone like MAL has a pretty firm grasp on who she is - a scam artist, a liar, and a user. She's always making up stories and whatnot - she's a pathological liar. She will do anything to get her way. This is pretty serious when you've been behaving this way for years and years. Her image is very rigid and polished, and despite showing up unprepared and offering word salad to her paying persons, her "outer circle" (social media feed etc) is much more curated than most of the other coaches I've seen. She's at the top of the pyramid so she has a huge amount of control and influence. If she cracks someday, we'll see it, and usually people struggle to return to the top once they falter. I'm sure she's already showing some signs of paranoia, which is the first sign a high control person is starting to become unhinged.
Then there are the messier girlies, like Carly, and Karen who has recently been more thoroughly exposed here. These ladies show up very vulnerable to social media, and often are struggling with illness - as someone has said here before, Carly's early coaching gigs were about health and dealing with chronic illness, until she realized that space wasn't sexy or profitable. I'm not saying this is the root of all illness, but transient illness can be a sign of a spiritual mismatch in intentions/action - especially with these people who claim to be "healers" or adjacent to that space. You have to walk your talk, or your body begins to show your hypocrisy. There is a part of these ladies who feel they are truly "helping the planet" and get confused internally when the reaction of their "offers" isn't for people to fall down at their feet worshipping them. This is why they say stuff like "wealth is a mindset!" and other magical thinking - most of them have lived privileged lives and have never been "out" of abundance. They think their "luck" is a carefully curated vibration that they can rub off on others. And like, while I believe that being in the vibrations of someone who is more spiritually mature can help "elevate" someone - these people are playing with spiritual practices and, while seeing some results, truly have no clue what they are talking about and dealing with. People who truly understand manifestation, whether left or right hand, are not busting their ass all day on Instagram trying to recruit lukewarm clients for peanuts. Carly tries SO HARD to sell that all of her work is "easy" and she can "take a walk in the middle of the day!" and not work while she's bleeding and whatnot. But girl, you're hustling and thirsty all over Insta all day every day - this is not abundance, this is not wealth and gratitude, it's giving "big empty black hole in my soul that will never be filled except with more money" energy, babe.
Then there are the girlies like xogingy and The Content Queen whose whole brand seems to be just being a mess all over the place. This sells because it makes people think "well I'm messy maybe I can be messy and rich/successful" but the mess for these girls is much more embraced and embodied than with the prim types like Carly and Karen, who want to be pure luxe and sexy and divine feminine perfection. But the luxe and sexy types are really doing the recruiting for their sexual in-person retreats (or clothing optional zooms) because they're just mega horny all the time (which - btw - is another sign of spiritual imbalance)
And that's the thing - being horny all of the time means your energy body is JACKED. It's not a sign of a free flow of creative energy to crave sex all of the time. Of course a major aspect of this is the sexual magic - yes, there is magic in sex, and I think it's where these folks get most of their magic, because they follow left hand sexual magic practice exclusively (control BDSM). They do play rapes (and borderline real rapes and, in some cases, actual real rapes on their clients/partners), orgasm denial, humiliation, pain rituals - all stuff that truly, objectively, isn't good for the soul. And notice how it's almost always one sided - the male being in total control of the female - though, Carly's substack did have a story about how they did a "role reversal" where she raped/humiliated him and that was um, something I read. 😳 But generally it's the women's job to always be turned on and "dripping wet" and whatnot, so that when her masculine partner gets a boner she's ready for him to slide it in. And then that's always the best sex, the sex that you "surrender" to.... On the contrary, sex between "right hand" practitioners tends to leave both partners feeling quite satisfied and sated - heck, even if only one happens to orgasm! Whereas control oriented sex often has orgasm denial which intentionally leaves the person craving more.
All this is to say, no one should feel guilty for being duped, or conned, or confused, even still. Almost all of these people have weaponized spiritual concepts in some ways and are wielding them with the intention to separate you from your money. They actually do have something that works. But they will NEVER sell you the whole story. And the fact is, this experience likely did happen to you because your soul was aching for some sort of uplevel - or initiation. It's just that initiation rarely looks like getting what we want. MAL et al makes it look like initiation is giving a rich lady 5 figures, popping a bottle of champagne, and roleplaying as that rich lady to which you just gave all that money (or at least, roleplaying as her social media feed). But if you're truly in it for the soul, your experience is going to help you uncover your soul. And part of uncovering our souls at this point in time seems to be having some serious spiritual trauma. And I know some people here probably only did this as "playing around" and not serious and unfortunately, playing with spirituality can be can be dangerous in and of itself. These is not to victim blame at all. It just is the nature of the spiritual path that it may growl and bite at you to test your growth. It's not just a sexy pleasure party 24/7, unless you want to step on a LOT of people to get there.
Anyway, this is very long and I'm not sure it's going to even fit into a reddit post at this point. But I just wanted to share some of the spiritual insights I've had over the years (been on my spiritual journey for over a decade at this point). I don't know it all, but I do know that I live with a general peace of mind that I wish I could sell in a coaching package or voxer group. But I can't/won't do that. So I'll keep to my lifelong duty of making longwinded, mega autistic posts on internet forums that might help a few people orient to a less painful or confused frame of mind, free of charge.
But on that note, before I finish, I'll offer my general spiritual advice: Firstly, take a short time every day to do some sort of sitting/meditation. Learning how to quiet the mind is a skill, and it's the first skill required to learn discernment. Once we can quiet the mind, we can start to learn which thoughts are our own and which thoughts we have absorbed from others - and if you haven't begun this process yet, you may be surprised to find out that the vast majority of your thoughts are actually just society, family, teachers, social media, advertising, etc etc, repeating in your mind and taking up valuable real estate. This is the real hurdle to "manifestation" - clearing away all the false desires that get in the way of our true desires. Subsequently, learning about chakras and tuning into my energy body has also given me a good base for insight and clarity that comes from within my own body.
Secondly, just try to think of others before yourself more often than not. Don't justify manipulating people for your own benefit. Oneness means you treat others how you want to be treated - in a gentle, and nurturing way. When we harm others, especially from a spiritual place, we perpetuate harm, and therefore accept that potential harmful treatment of ourselves. Treating others sincerely with reverence and respect, and setting boundaries so that we don't allow people to treat us with disrespect, is how we generate a reality that treats us with reverence and respect by default. A lot easier said than done, but it is possible.
Love and light to you all.

You loved and gave it your all.
You had the opportunity to experience what many people do not ever experience.
True love.
A love that even after they shredded you to pieces and regurgitated the remains, you can say that your soul is at peace with the fact that they are now at peace.
When you looked yourself in the mirror, deep into the pits of your weary, forsaken, eyes and tell yourself that you're still beautiful and still worthy of a great love.
New memories are yet to be created with someone new.
Someone who will set your soul on fire, and no, it won't be the same as before, it will be a different sensation, but one that you've never had...that person will give the "why" it never worked out with your last.

Hi, (Female, 17) here. My sister (21, Female).
When I was younger, around 12 - 13, I had a pretty good relationship with my older sister, we'll call her Sam.
Sam and I were very close, we shared hobbies and got along perfectly fine. But around the time I turned 14-15, Sam changed drastically.
I started noticing it with her body language. She started looking at me with disgust. She no longer enjoyed hanging out with me and would always make up an excuse to ditch me. I could tell our relationship changed but I wasn't sure why.
It got worse over time. Sam would picked fights and called me horrible names. The ones used most often are "Conceited, selfish, b*tch." I hadn't changed, I still acted the same, I still loved the same things as I did when I was 12. She got very personal and hurtful with the insults. She made fun of my hair, my voice, the way I walked. She made it clear that she didn't like anything about me anymore. It hurt a lot and I felt alone for a while. When I entered high-school, I made more friends and really enjoyed their company. I feel like they helped turned me into a more confident and happier version of myself.
Sam didn't really talk to me around this time but one day, I woke up to her screaming about me to my mother early in the morning. This came as a shock because we hadn't spoken or even fought prior to this. It was totally random. She told my mother that she didn't want to be near me, how she hated me and I was a stupid c*nt. It sounded like she was in tears when she was screaming this. That's how I knew this hatred she had for me was real. She told my mother she was going to physically attack me and beat me up. Of course, everyone thought she was bluffing but it turns out she wasn't. She attacked me about 3 times. Luckily, someone was always there to pull her off of me. Sam was bigger than me. She was taller and weighed more so of course she overpowered me. It was absolutely terrifying to have someone who you always loved and trusted, completely turn on you and try to hurt you.
Eventually things calmed down. Sam got a job and was finally socializing outside of our family. She didn't go to school so she had all the time in the day to do anything but unfortunately spent it making my life a living hell. She made me extremely insecure about myself but around 15 - 16, I gained my confidence back and tried to ignore everything she said to me.
My other older sister, we'll call Veronica, was talking to this guy, who she really liked, and I noticed Sam would flirt with him a lot. As time went on, Sam managed to steal this guy from Veronica and they started dating. This absolutely BROKE Veronica. She had to watch her sister and her ex bf dating, kissing, and flirting in front of her. Every time Veronica was near them, Sam would have this smug smile on her face and rub it in Veronica's face. I was so pissed for Veronica. Sam ended up getting her karma and the guy broke her heart. Now every time Veronica is talking to or seeing a guy, Sam always asks if she can meet him or go out with them together and Veronica won't let her. I can't blame her. Sam is sneaky and if she's not flirting with Veronica's boyfriend, she's trying to embarrass her.
I notice Sam tries to embarrass me a lot. When we're out in public setting, she'll always say something obnoxiously rude. She tells everyone I'm shy when I'm really not. I'm actually the most bubbly in the family. I just don't say anything around her cause I'm uncomfortable and I don't want her to embarrass me. She tells everyone I'm a conceited diva and she makes herself seem humble and down to earth. The other day we were out with some family members that we hadn't seen in years and Sam was taking pictures of the view and I was watching her take the photos and she looked at me and yelled "ARE YOU LOOKING AT YOURSELF IN THE REFLECTION OF MY CAMERA" and I explained to her that I couldn't see myself because the camera was flipped and I was just watching the photos be taken. Usually I don't defend myself or explain, I'd just laugh things off but this time, I was sick of her making me look like a concieted b*tch to people so I made it clear she was misunderstanding and I could tell she didn't like this. She snarled and stormed off. It got pretty awkward after that and everyone was confused about why she was saying that to me.
Sam ended up getting a boyfriend. I didn't like him so I stayed away but she would always bring him over even though he treated my family like crap. He called my dog ugly, he never thanked my grandma for cooking them dinners, and he ignored my other family members. He would come over and flop on the couch like a beached whale. I couldn't tell him to leave so I hid in my bedroom. I found out from him that Sam was sharing a lot of me and my family's personal business. Things like, money, drama, lawsuits, and issues we were having within the family that were NOT supposed to be discussed for fun. She shared EXTREMELY private things and this broke my family's trust with her. Everyone tried to keep things secret from her out of fear that she'd tell people she knew. Sam shared me and another family member's sexuality with her friends and boyfriend. I told Sam that I was not ready to tell my parents yet because they weren't big supporters of that kind of stuff. She now holds this over my head and hints about it to my parents. She doesn't do this to my other family member even though they aren't out either, she only uses this again me.
One time my Sam got drunk and told me that her and her boyfriend had sex where I sleep. She thought this was absolutely hilarious and I was so pissed. I had never felt such anger and betrayal. She also made a few sexual jokes about me to her boyfriend which left me feeling disgusted so I'd rather not discuss those.
Sam is almost 22 now and she's still living with us. She doesn't have a job and she doesn't help much with chores. She plays on her phone all day or watches TV. I'm working 3 days a week and finishing school but Sam tells me that I do nothing all day and I need to do more with my time. She also told me I shouldn't be allowed to finish high-school because she never did, even though she didn't want to finish and dropped out by choice. I tried to explain to her that I really want to finish high-school and save up money for college but she thinks I don't deserve to.
She stills says horrible things to me like "you have no future, you'll still be sitting on your ass in your parents house when you're 30." She also told me that she hopes I can't have kids because I'd be a terrible selfish mother. She steals my food and shames my interests.
I miss the sister who loved me back. I don't know who she is now and I don't know why she thinks we're in competition.
Please share your thoughts on my story and let me know if you've dealt with similar issues! 💛

The "Comedy Quens" Stand-Up Challenge results are in!
DURING THE EPISODE...

• After returning from the elimination, Angeria wipes off Elektra's mirror message, with the girls being gagged by the fact that both US girls were eliminated back to back. Plastique says that she thinks Elektra was far too in over her head & that she should've put up a more brutal fight regarding the elimination. She was trying too hard to make alliances instead of proving why she needed to be there, which Plastique seconds and says that that's why she chose her lipstick, on top of the fact that Adore had not only saved her last week but is her season 2 sister so she couldn't do that to her.
• As the queens look over the lipsticks, the girls are gagged that Plastique said everything about Elektra and still picked Adore. She says she knows it isn't against her, but it was for her gain. Adore is a considerable threat, and after 2 weeks of being at the top, she knows that Adore can do what she needs to do to win this competition, so she is confident in her skills enough to send home a big threat, especially because Elektra hadn't been featured in the competition at that point. Adore says that there are no hard feelings, but she does want her to expect there to be hell to pay for trying to eliminate her because she's fighting for a crown.

Monét X Change has won the "Cameo-Style Filmed Videos" Mini Challenge!

• After the mini-challenge results are announced, Monét isn't that happy but plays it off by saying that she'll finally be the one to win a maxi challenge, which the girls laugh at. Shannel, yet again, says that so far, it'll be all that she wins a confessional. Finally, it's told that they're doing stand, and Monét is incredibly happy that it's another comedic challenge that's up her alley & she gets to pick the order. She begins asking the girls what they want, placing herself last. Both Shannel & Eva wish to go first, so Monét picks Shannel and pulls Eva aside and says that she's confident that she'll do better than Shannel in the long run, so it'll place her in a better standing.
• The girls all prepare for the challenge, and Angeria is just practicing her stand-up set, trying to be as funny as possible. She reads off some of her jokes to Adore, which Adore finds super funny & reads off some of hers back to Angeria, where Angeria tells her that she's worried that Adore doesn't have the best jokes for this kind of challenge. The girls all go to the main stage to practice their sets, where Angeria does extremely well yet has some problems with letting the room breathe for laugh lines.
• They continue to practice on the main stage, where Plastique is told that all of her jokes so far are very convoluted and have a little punchline, with her performance all over the place. Monét says in a confessional that she thinks she's got this in the bag this week and messes with Plastique by heckling her just a tad, to which Adore laughs. Plastique says in a confessional that this is more of a reason why she should've sent Adore packing last week. Shannel does some of her set, to which the judges are seen laughing at the opening joke, but the jokes start to get more offensive, and they cut her off.

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 🇨🇦 ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖──

ON THE MAINSTAGE...
The tops and bottoms of the week step forward to hear their critiques...
Adore Delano receives negative critiques from the judges. Brad told her that the main problem with her performance this week was that she started well and did well overall, but she let them see she was sweating too much. She kept dropping the f-bomb every 5 seconds and dropped her cards when she knew they were out of order. She didn't let it flow as much as needed. She was allowed structure like every other queen, but she relied on the structure instead of being her naturally funny self. Her runway this week, though, is gorgeous. She blended her rebel aesthetic into this gorgeous elevated punk look.
Angeria Paris VanMichaels receives positive critiques from the judges. Brooke told Angeria that her performance this week was just a fantastic level. She came out and told them the funniest story on the planet, and even though they didn't believe it was 100% true in hindsight, the way she said it had them hooked every second. Facial expressions, voices, body movements; she put everything into that performance to make them laugh, and it worked. This week, her runway also disappointed them; loving how she made this southern belle mixed with this plaid aesthetic but noticed minor clashes.
Eva Le Queen receives positive critiques from the judges. The judges say that she's one of those queens who don't know what she'll do next because this comedic performance was fantastic. She blended stories from her childhood into this funny stand-up set, even working with the crowd to make them laugh and make herself relatable. That's what she did best as a comedienne, making herself relatable to the crowd and making sure they felt comfortable laughing at every joke she made, no matter how wild. Her runway was gorgeous and different for her, but just because it's plaid doesn't mean it's Vivienne Westwood.
Monét X Change receives positive critiques from the judges. Traci says she had the best performance of the entire night. She made an intelligent decision by putting herself last because she warmed them up again with one final excellent performance. She told these fantastic stories, complete with crowd work and whole-body movements where she dove across the stage and made them laugh. She had no holds barred with this challenge because she put her everything, clearly so hungry for a win. Even though her runway this week isn't their favorite, they love how she blended the plaid into this dragged-up lumberjack.
Plastique Tiara receives negative critiques from the judges. The judges say that she is more than just a pretty face; she had to prove that when it came to comedy. It wasn't that she wasn't funny; it was just that she performed it as more of a roast than a stand-up. She came out and started telling them stories about the competition and making fun of the other girls. It was funny at some points but oddly unrelatable for others since she was saying things that would only be funny if the audience had been there. Her runway, though? It was a superb Heathers-inspired ensemble with a funny death reveal.
Shannel receives negative critiques from the judges. Brooke says that the main thing they have to say about Shannel is that she left them more to be desired this week. She had to start the whole thing since she wanted to be first so severely, but she didn't do what was required of her. She is a drag professional by the way she handled the scene. Still, she seemed to be monologuing consistently and needed to make more effort to interject the comedy into a speech. This week's runway also disappoints them since this is her 6th time wearing a gown, and she needs to switch it up.
Angeria Paris VanMichaels, Monét X Change, Condragulations! You are the Top Two All Stars of the week!
Plastique Tiara, Shannel...I'm sorry, my Dears. You are both up for elimination.

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 🇨🇦 ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖──

DURING UNTUCKED...

• The girls all enter back into untucked, and Monét cheers over getting her second win in the competition and having been the only one not in the Bottom, to which Angeria congratulates her as well because now they've both won challenges after being underestimated by the other girls. Shannel rolls her eyes and finally says Monét won, which she doesn't appreciate and quickly corrects her. She rolls her eyes and sits back from starting a fight. Eva and Adore shudder because they're thankful to be safe but feel bad for Plastique, who walks off. Eva walks after Plastique, who's outside the door, saying that she's afraid of going home and feels like giving up, to which Eva tells her that she better not because there are people back in the UK counting on her. They hug after a long emotional talk and enter the werkroom again.
• Plastique first talks to Monét and says that they're both sisters from the UK and that even though she didn't appreciate her heckling, she tells her how she felt about it, and they have a mature conversation where Monét apologizes. Monét says that she sees how badly Plastique wants to be here. Plastique says the same to Angeria and emphasizes how much this competition means to her and how much bigger it is than just her being here. Angeria nods along and agrees that it's much bigger than both in these rising political times.
• Shannel walks over to Monét and apologizes if she's offended her throughout the competition. She stresses that she must keep representing her country correctly since she's the only Down Under girl. Monét agrees but says she's already been able to do that for weeks. Shannel says she's a lost cause when fighting with Monèt and goes on to Angeria. She stresses that as a pageant girl, this is the biggest pageant in the world, and she wants to keep competing. Angeria agrees and says that she isn't sure, to which Shannel responds with reasons why she needs to stay with Angeria, just nodding to everyone.

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 🇨🇦 ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖──

AFTER DELIBERATION...
Angeria Paris VanMichaels and Plastique Tiara make their lipstick choices and walk back to the stage, where the other Queens are waiting for them...
TOP2: Angeria Paris VanMichaels / Monét X Change
HIGH: Eva Le Queen
LOW: Adore Delano
BTM2: Plastique Tiara / Shannel
The Top Two Queens will Lip-Sync for their Legacy to "Your Daddy Don't Know" by Toronto. This is your chance to impress me, win the challenge prize, and gain the power to give one of the Bottom Queens the chop. Good Luck, and Don't Fuck It Up!
POLL / Track Record

“Lads, I don’t think some of you realize what a historic moment this has become and what it represents. Future generations will look back and say ‘Good men stood here, good men fought, and died on this ground... as they point to a TradingView daily chart of GME zoomed in on January. Since the spawn of the stonk market, two classes of people have been pitted against each other, eternal enemies, forever forced and fated to combat: Lions and Hyenas.
These Lions -- these Wall Street hedge funds have it all. Quants, billions of dollars, algorithmic trading, arbitrage, market makers, supercomputers, SEC protection, fucking judicial system protection for God’s sake. And then there’s us -- the working man -- the average Joe. What do we have? What the fuck do we have?! What the fuck do we have? They literally call us ‘dumb money.’ These lions, these hedge fund guys, they were born with silver spoons in their mouths. The top 1% of the 1%. They were given offices overlooking the beautiful NYC skyline.” They have massive bank accounts, eat medium rare Grade A Japanese Wagyu steak with truffle shavings for lunch. Why do we hate these guys? They frequent the finest strip clubs on the planet on a first-name basis and instantly go to the back rooms. They have blow and escorts on their yacht parties. And do you know what they tell these beautiful escorts? When the smoking hot blonde creeps in and asks them, ‘Like, how do you have so much money? You know what they say? ‘Haha, dumb money babe.’”
Change starts somewhere, we can make the change within the community to make FFIE big. It’s our opportunity to take actions into our hands to truly make the difference not just for FFIE but show the hedge funds how screwed up it is to profit off the loss of the people like us and the businesses they help destroy. Hold or we continue to fill the pockets of those who profit off our losses and the people they help unemploy.
GME and people like Keith Gill made us realize we can do this with banding together, creating communities, vocalizing and believing in a stock just for the sake of liking a stock and liking the company. Faraday Future may not have been known by everyone but there are 586 people who could lose their jobs if FFIE does not get our support. I’m sure you like keeping your job so relate to these people on wanting to make sure they have a job they can go to after June 24th.
Of course there are people who will doubt and hate us. It does not feel good and may make us doubt ourselves and our decisions but together we have the power to make change in our generation. We have powerful people against us, always have and probably always will unless we show them that we have the power of change.

FFIE to the moon🚀

Diamond Hands💎🙌

This along with any and all of my posts are not to be taken as financial advice but as my personal opinion along with maybe some news articles.

The new bedrock realm stories give way too much info. Let's start with the Story Feed tab. I was playing on a realm with a few of my friends and we kind of separated into teams and started building bases apart from each other. When one of us lit a nether portal in our secret base the whole server knew exactly where our base was because the story feed straight gave the coords of exactly where the nether portal was lit. Like this is tmi even saying they lit a nether portal is crazy. I think it kind of takes out the fun and secrecy out of everything. It tells you the most random stuff like "JJdaGoat Just scaled a mountain peak" like why does everyone need to know that what if bro is building a secret base. I just think its tmi and you should be able to open the realm stories tab and see what it is trying to post for you and accept or deny it. The timeline tab is also OP because it tells you when people were on. I was grinding desert temples at like 6am for tnt and when everyone got on, they saw I was on in the morning and started interrogating me. I just think it did not need to be added and they just added it to give bedrock realms something because they are so bland. I think the server owner should be able to disable it if they can't already or at least disable the part where it leaks your coordinates in every post. (This is just a rant because it leaked where I built the portal and my base got nuked)

Hiya! I’m Jude (FTM) I’m happily partnered, a elder millennial , and a long time role player. I just purchased a used bookstore/coffee shop that I run in the cozy Pacific Northwest, but am mostly available daily to rp.
I wrote in third person past tense, I’m a literate multiple para to novella style writer. If there are action or dialogue heavy scenes, I tend to do a shorter back and forth and honestly quality over quantity is more important to me.
I only do M x F (with me in the male role) I don’t double, but I’m more than happy to write side characters of either gender to help move the story along. I prefer to use discord but can use Reddit chat if it’s a deal breaker.
I'm really hoping to find a partnership/ friendship , someone who can add to our story, and most importantly, someone who wants a long-term connection. I love chatting ooc with my partners, love gushing about our characters, setting up mood boards, sound tracks, etc. I’m also good for a kitty picture or two I own four of them!

• 20 + partners only
  

•  An decent grasp of grammar, punctuation, spelling, and capitalization. I promise I’m not a grammar nazi I just want to be able to read what you’ve written. 

• If you don’t get exited over our characters, trading head cannons, making mood boards, geeking out over plot then we probably won’t make a good match
  

•  While I'd prefer real life face claims, I'd also be open to using realistic art if you're uncomfortable with real life. Though I draw the line at anime/cartoon style art. 

I have a list of tropes, genres, themes and plots that would be happy to send. I’m also fine with trading writing samples as well but it isn’t a must.
I am fine with writing about anything except for high fantasy. I have a fondness for the supernatural, paranormal, mysteries, thrillers, even a bit of horror however I like all my stories to have romance. Dark Forrest’s, small spooky towns, werewolves, cults, things that go bump in the night, modern tellings of fairytales are my kind of vibe.
I’d love to hear from you, drop me a note, chat or private message.

I (19F) have been with my boyfriend (18M) for almost 2 years now. We met when we were both in high school and a friend introduced us together and eventually it became something more intimate. In some point of my life, I was kick out of my parents house and now living with him at his parents’ house, but that’s a different story. Don’t worry guys, his parents are very supportive and offered me to stay with them until me and my boyfriend find a place on our own.
Our relationship right now has been a little rocky here and there, only because I believe the honeymoon phase is over and part of that reason is because we’re living together now. I’m not saying it’s bad or toxic or whatever, we just have some disagreements and argue from time to time but nothing really major. My boyfriend is a great and mature man for his age, he’s been working hard and raising money for the both of us so he hasn’t been treating me bad at all.
But here’s the problem.. So I actually don’t have many friends anymore after high school because we eventually just drift apart, but my boyfriend on the other hand has a group of friends that he still hangs out with. And yes, I have met most of his friends and they’re really nice, most of them say hi to me when we see each other out in public. But there is this one friend who just kind of seems like they have a problem with me. Let’s call this friend, John. I met John when my boyfriend, myself, and his friend group were at the park skipping class and just playing card games together. We talked for a little bit and he seemed nice and cool so I just thought he was just simply some nice dude. But I was wrong. After i graduated, I had to look for a warehouse job because I wasn’t on my parents’ insurance anymore and I ended up working for some warehouse bakery factory. During that time I work there, I had bumped into John. We saw each other and just said “oh my god, you work here too??!” Blah, blah. So from there, I figured every time I see him, I might as well just be nice and say hi to him. John works 3rd shift while I work 2nd shift. So when leaving to go to my car, I always see him on the way and just simply wave or say hi. John only greeted me once and then never said anything back. I figured he was just grumpy because he didn’t want to go to work. But soon, he just totally ignored me in total.
Have I talked to my partner about this? Yes, yes I have. And you know what he said? He said “John doesn’t want to speak to you because he’s doing it out of respect” Respect of what exactly? It’s not like I’m trying to flirt with him or anything, I am simply trying to say hi to him. So this actually made me angry because John is an 18 year old man who can’t simply say hi to me? Sounds like someone who’s just ignorant and rude. I explain to my boyfriend and even said “baby, I bet you’re like that too. If someone comes up to you right now and asks if you have a girlfriend, you would ignore them too right?” I know, I know. Some of you girls want your man to do that. But you have to look at their perspective, they don’t know your man isn’t single, it’s better for them to say “I have a girlfriend” and most of the time they apologize and move along. And if they don’t, then your man can ignore, insult, or do whatever you want to them. But I digress, I called out my boyfriend for that and he just only said “I’ll say that next time” and he’ll talk to John about it. So I just left it like that.
Until today, I was going through my stuff while he was laying down on the bed looking for houses for us. He came across a house with 5 bedroom and jokingly said “omg baby we should have roommates” and then I said “yeah but all our roommates is gonna be boys” which he mentions “oh yeah, John, he can stay with us because he can afford it.” I look at him with the ‘are you fucking serious look?’ And mention I didn’t like John after he just straight up ignored me. My boyfriend then proceeded to tell “baby, he has money.” And that’s where he fucked up. I took that as ‘who cares about your feelings, money matters.’ So from there, I started spitting out the meanest things, like to the point where i suggested for my ex to come stay with us because he also has money too. My boyfriend is good guy and told me he didn’t mean it like that and he actually said “I’m not on John’s side at all. I think what he did was wrong and yes, he should apologize for it, I’m just trying to understand why you’re holding this grudge on him for so long?” I explain to him because it hurts me that I’m just doing something so simple and now being ignored just because I’m labeled as “the girlfriend we don’t mess with.” The reason why I want to be comfortable with his friends so that way it wouldn’t be so awkward and I have some help like figuring out my boyfriend’s birthday present. Especially John. Since he is the closest friend to my boyfriend. I’m not trying to be friends, I’m not trying to flirt with them, I just simply want the awkwardness to go away. But part of the reason, why I was arguing with my boyfriend because deep inside I told myself ‘my boyfriend is on John’s side because they’re exactly alike.’ My boyfriend eventually gave up and said “whatever, hate him all you want.” Because I just kept saying nonsense.
We made up after a little bit of silence. But for some reason, I’m still a little upset about this and is crying while typing this as we speak. But what do you guys think? Am I over exaggerating about this and should let go of my hate for John? Or should I talk to my boyfriend more about it?

Historically why did the Romanms even have to fight the British and celts?? Couldn't they just send imperial diplomats to show them Roman artitecture and laws and planning and tell the leaders, look you can still be a general of your land, if you just join our empire, and be apart of our empire/republic.
You will get beautiful buildings, towns, archetecture, citizenship! Clothing. Goods. Riches. You will be a roman citizen, have rights, live in beautiful villas and houses and urban places with so much stuff to do.
Like what was the problem??

All codes below are split where possible unless noted; please only redeem at the place agreed upon; please redeem code soon after sale.
Thanks for looking!
Have multiples of some codes.
Venmo and CashApp Accepted

$1.75 to $5.00 4k Codes

• Avengers: Endgame, 4k iTunes (ports to MA in 4k) $4
• Big Hero 6, 4k MA (ports to MA in 4k) $4
• Captain America: Civil War, 4k iTunes (ports to MA in 4k) $4
• Finding Dory, 4k iTunes (ports to MA in 4k) $3.50
• The Good Dinosaur, 4k iTunes (ports to MA in 4k) $4
• Gran Turismo: Based on a True Story, 4k MA (ports to MA in 4k) (Comes with Sony Rewards Points) $5
• Hook, 4k MA (ports to MA in 4k) (Comes with Sony Rewards Points) $5
• The Last Witch Hunter, 4k iTunes or 4k vudu $3.50
• Maleficent, 4k iTunes (ports to MA in 4k) $3.50
• Maleficent: Mistress of Evil, 4k iTunes (ports to MA in 4k) $4
• Pitch Perfect, 4k iTunes (ports to MA in 4k) (Comes with 500 Universal Rewards Points) $2.50
• Ralph Breaks the Internet, 4k iTunes (ports to MA in 4k) $4
• Snitch, 4k iTunes $1.75
• Thanksgiving (2023), 4k MA (ports to MA in 4k) (Comes with Sony Rewards Points) $5
• Toy Story 4, 4k iTunes (ports to MA in 4k) $4
• Wonder (2017), 4k iTunes $2

$14.00 8 Film High On Your Watch List Collection (1 Code for all 8 Movies, Redeemable via Movies Anywhere)

• Due Date, HD
• Friday, HD
• ⁠Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, HD
• House Party, HD
• ⁠Inherent Vice, HD
• ⁠Project X, HD
• ⁠Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny, HD
• ⁠We're the Millers, HD

$3.00 May Universal Rewards Code

Good for one of the following movies, redeemable via Movies Anywhere.

• Backdraft 2, 4k $3
• Black Christmas, 4k $3
• A Dog's Purpose, 4k $3
• The Sparks Brothers, 4k $3
• Agnes Browne, HD $3
• Antz, HD $3
• Being Frank, HD $3
• Don't Let Go, HD $3
• Final Account, HD $3
• Kicks, HD $3
• Loving, HD $3
• Raw, HD $3

$3.50 Sony Buff Pass

Good for one of the following movies, redeemable via Movies Anywhere.

• Hancock, 4k $3.50
• My Girl, 4k $3.50
• Stripes, 4k $3.50
• The Blob, HD $3.50
• Blue Thunder, HD $3.50
• Born Yesterday, HD $3.50
• Bye Bye Birdie, HD $3.50
• Guess Who, HD $3.50
• Stir Crazy, HD $3.50
• Untraceable, HD $3.50

$3.00 to $4.50 Disney/Marvel/Star Wars HD MA, vudu, or iTunes Movie Codes (All Port to Movies Anywhere)

• Atlantis: Milo's Return, HD MA (ports to MA) $4.50
• Brother Bear, HD MA (ports to MA) $4.50
• Brother Bear 2, HD MA (ports to MA) $4.50
• The Fox and the Hound 2, HD MA (ports to MA) $4
• Hocus Pocus, HD MA (ports to MA) $4
• The Little Mermaid (1989), HD MA (ports to MA) $4
• The Lone Ranger, HD iTunes (ports to MA) $4
• Mary Poppins (1964), HD iTunes (ports to MA) $4
• Mulan (1998), HD MA (ports to MA) $4
• The Nightmare Before Christmas, HD MA (ports to MA) $4
• Oz the Great and Powerful, HD MA (ports to MA) $3.50
• Queen of Katwe, HD MA (ports to MA) $3
• Turning Red, HD MA (ports to MA) $3.50

$1.50 to $3.50 Disney/Marvel/Star Wars HD Google Play Movie Codes (All Port to Movies Anywhere)

• Aladdin (2019), HD gp (ports to MA) $3
• Avengers: Endgame, HD gp (ports to MA) $2.25
• Beauty and the Beast (2017), HD gp (ports to MA) $2.25
• Big Hero 6, HD gp (ports to MA) $2.25
• Black Panther, HD gp (ports to MA) $2.25
• The Call of the Wild, HD gp (ports to MA) $2.25
• Captain America: The Winter Soldier, HD gp (ports to MA) $3
• Captain America: Civil War, HD gp (ports to MA) $3
• Cinderella (2015), HD gp (ports to MA) $2.25
• Coco, HD gp (ports to MA) $3
• Doctor Strange, HD gp (ports to MA) $2.25
• Finding Dory, HD gp (ports to MA) $2
• Frozen, HD gp (ports to MA) $2
• Frozen (Sing-Along Edition), HD gp (ports to MA) $2
• The Good Dinosaur, HD gp (ports to MA) $3
• Guardians of the Galaxy, HD gp (ports to MA) $2.50
• Incredibles 2, HD gp (ports to MA) $3.50
• Inside Out, HD gp (ports to MA) $2.50
• The Lion King (2019), HD gp (ports to MA) $2.50
• Little Mermaid (animated), HD gp (ports to MA) $3
• Maleficent, HD gp (ports to MA) $2
• Mary Poppins (1964), HD gp (ports to MA) $3
• Moana, HD gp (ports to MA) $2
• Monsters University, HD gp (ports to MA) $3.50
• The Nightmare Before Christmas, HD gp (ports to MA), HD gp (ports to MA) $3.50
• Star Wars: The Force Awakens, HD gp (ports to MA) $2
• Star Wars: The Last Jedi, HD gp (ports to MA) $2
• Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, HD gp (ports to MA) $2
• Thor: The Dark World, HD gp (ports to MA) $3.50
• Thor: Ragnarok, HD gp (ports to MA) $2.50
• Toy Story 4, HD gp (ports to MA) $2
• Zootopia, HD gp (ports to MA) $2

$2.00 to $3.00 HD MA, vudu, or iTunes Movie Codes

• Assassination Nation, HD MA (ports to MA) $3
• The Bourne Legacy, HD MA (ports to MA) $2
• Boyhood, HD vudu $2
• Boyhood, HD iTunes $2
• Chicago (Diamond Edition), HD iTunes or HD vudu $2
• Danny Collins, HD iTunes (ports to MA) (Comes with 500 Universal Rewards Points) $2
• The Gunman, HD iTunes (ports to MA) (Comes with 500 Universal Rewards Points) $3
• Home Again, HD MA (ports to MA) $3
• I Feel Pretty, HD iTunes $3
• Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas, HD MA (ports to MA) $3
• Megan Leavey, HD iTunes (ports to MA) (Comes with 500 Universal Rewards Points) $2
• The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature, HD iTunes (ports to MA) (Comes with 500 Universal Rewards Points) $2
• Paranormal Activity 3, HD vudu $2
• The Purge, HD MA (ports to MA) $2
• Rio 2, HD MA (ports to MA) $3
• Same Kind of Different As Me, HD iTunes $2
• Selma, HD vudu $2
• Selma, HD iTunes $2
• Sinister, HD iTunes $2
• Super 8, HD vudu $3
• Tremors 5: Bloodlines, HD MA (ports to MA) $2.50
• Walking With Dinosaurs: The Movie, HD MA (ports to MA) $3

$0.75 to $1.25 HD MA, vudu, or iTunes Movie Codes (Total must be at least $1)

• The Expendables 2, HD vudu $0.75
• Florence Foster Jenkins, HD iTunes $0.75
• The Hunger Games, HD vudu $0.75
• Indivisible, HD MA (Canada only) $0.75
• Paranormal Activity 3, HD iTunes $1.25
• The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2, HD vudu $0.75
• Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection, HD vudu $1.25

$0.50 to $1.00 SD Movie Codes (Total must be at least $1)

• Hugo, SD vudu $0.50
• Rio, SD iTunes (ports to MA) $1
• The Vow, SD MA (ports to MA) $0.50

Venmo and CashApp Accepted

verse 1:
keep the mind flow like rain fall in Big Bog,
how i eat words is none your business, sick smog
spiral out like a Stereolab cover, the emperor hovers,
viral as smog from two bars ago, remember her color
tomato for ketchup, making dots and loops on his signature,
cash checks to catch up, taking shots to shoot for no ligature
marks on the wrists like Shinola glitter, ain’t fish scale,
singing that lovely figaro, hit her once, forget Ishmael
hail from the ash of the smog, no coughs for the sickness,
exhale the cash from Prague where i sought my richness
fitness for the hogs, seek to trash my name, send em running,
slick is the way i clog up their cache, could say i’m stuntin’
evil like knievel, flashy as his jumpsuit,
weasel out illegal lassies, he’ll stump soon
dump deliveries down, done decent dros,
dojo done dime a dozen, diesel dropped in dirty doses
hook:
dump that diesel in the tank,
pump the easel full of dank
make the word art pop like a magazine collage,
take a third off the track, save for the montage
jump over the needle covered in swank,
bump the eagle off his flank,
my words strike you like a verbal barrage,
making your peace with a good mirage
verse 2:
cloaked the dagger, i croaked your jagger,
then i toked the shwagger, cuz i smoked the blabber
choked the tagger, pressed his cannon to the wall,
blew a couple puffs out before he dropped the ball
lost his marbles while he struggled and gargled,
sloshed like the marshall, but he smuggled the cuadro
new coke, all interest lost, don’t tell the bank,
you broke, simplest cost, go to hell, thanks
shit sewed so simply, set sale so small,
tricked and towed, taught to tell tenacious tales tall
short attention spans, like Gen Alpha on 60 Seconds,
export pension grands to Valhalla, no shifty weapons
Odin puts rings on all the bitches’ fingers, infinite,
show them wings on all his riches, ringers intimate
wings like Hermes, don’t shoot the messenger,
don’t give him a Red Bull, remember the pensioner
hook:
verse 3:
i’ll paint your body with blood from your exit wounds,
faint for a John Doe from the hood, doc says it’s doomed
rained like a monsoon, Big Bog came back full force,
he trained the storms to hit hard, named them Bull Horse
hull of the ship cracked, sink deeper than your love life,
skull and ribs cracked by bones of leaders of strife
the structure more rigid than the beat, meat under heat,
puncture with the thermo probe, no repeat defeat
pleated Homme jacket, soaked in rain water,
heated in the placket, smoked the main talker
greeted thirty maggots, doped brain not stronger,
cheated curvy black chicks, revoked a million dollars
treat you like a junky at Thanksgiving, cold turkey,
i’ll leave you shook worse than methadone, lone journey
verses so cold, gotta give you the OJ, no gloves,
turkey noodle soup out of stock, okay, low doves
bridge:
hey blud, we need to liquidate our assets
no duds, the sweeper intimidate the brassets
lost my head, cost my friend, all alone,
dropped the bread, tossed the lead, call Ramone
i think it’s safe to say the story’s gone off the rail,
like the tall tale from bar thirty four, soft and frail
always wear a ski mask when the ugly mug rob the bank,
reclaim your assets, unless you wanna walk the plank
verse 4:
pirate my music, cuz i don’t give a fuck about my label,
irate, i’m too sick, i won’t live to duck another cable
tables turned like a lazy susan Marantz, food for thought,
cradle learned how to make my gats, screwed a lot
i’ll facetime ya momma, funeral’s closed casket,
no base line for commas, numeral’s composed tax cuts
can’t afford to bury ya, leave ya to the elements,
absurd to carry a beaver for no emphasis
no emphasis on your life, less worth than a common seven inch,
no nemesis is less than this, you’re nobody, don’t question this
the doctor said i’d die lit if i kept the spliff tucked ‘tween my lips,
hit the cherry in the pit til i’m fit to spit a crit, clean my rips
you puff the blunt like a one hit wonder, call you Afroman,
take me out cuz i swiped the lean back, call it my bad day, agro clan
plan to take my methods, i’ll make sure you’re threw aside,
cuz when i’m through with you, you’ll contemplate suicide

That’s all it was. A game.
Something my friends and I used to play during the summer when we had nothing better to do. I never expected that it would get so out of hand.
I never expected it to come back long after recovery.
To anyone reading, please don’t do what I did.
I’m putting this out there to warn people.
On that warm summer evening, we played the role of Pandora.
Except, the monsters we released were far worse than what’s told in stories.
Because stories end.
And this doesn’t.
I still remember the date. July 16, 2013. I was an upcoming senior in high school while the others were getting prepared for their freshman year of college, raving on about their majors, life plans, dorms, you get the point. The summer had been bittersweet as those months would be the last I’d see them for a while. Because of this, Anthony, Lola, Eliza, and I would spend the bulk of our time together going to festivals and various camping trips, trying to make the most out of the summer while we could. On that day, the day I wish I could forget, Eliza had run late to one of our hangouts at my place. This was odd since as an Ivy league student, she was usually early or right on time to these kind of things. Half past three, we heard her knocking on my door rapidly, which was also out of character considering that she was usually the calm one in our group. A bit worried, I hurried down the stairs with Anthony and Lola following close behind, expecting Eliza to be in hysterics due to her frantic behavior. When I opened the door, however, there she was with a bright smile on her face, her red hair getting in the way of her eyes, which were a dark green shade. She pushed her hair out of her face with one hand and held a brown box in the other, and she was bouncing up and down as she usually does when she’s about to talk about something exciting.
“You’ll never believe what I found.” Eliza’s voice could barely hold her impatience as she stepped inside and kicked her shoes off once she crossed over my threshold.
“What’s up with you today?” Anthony questioned, looking more confused than concerned now.
“I’ll show you guys in a minute. Can we go up to your room, Felix?” Eliza looked over at me with her trademark smile, knowing damn well we were all too curious to just leave that box unopened. Without a word, I led the group up to my room and shut the door after everyone had walked in. Anthony took his usual spot on my beanbag and unzipped his hoodie, which had the MSM logo sprawled across the front in big red letters. He adjusted his dark rimmed glasses and took on his usual stoic expression. Lola wore a dark blue FIT shirt, which she revealed more of when she moved her locs over her shoulder as she sat on my desk chair and wheeled over to us. As she did, the various necklaces she wore clinked against each other. Eliza herself was the smartest out of the group, and probably in the whole school as well. She had gotten accepted into multiple prestigious schools, but ultimately settled for Harvard to pursue a degree in some obscure philanthropic career. Unlike Anthony and Lola, Eliza wore her regular outfit –usually a white tank top and jeans– and sat on my bed with the box in her lap. I took a seat next to her to get a closer look.
“So what’d you find?” The others moved closer.
“Something we probably haven’t thought about for a really long time. Do you guys remember that one game we used to play in middle school? The one we made after Felix joined our class?” Eliza looked at our puzzled faces to see if we had connected the dots, but her clue didn’t seem to strike any of us with familiarity.
“After Felix joined? Didn’t we just hang out or something that weekend?” Anthony questioned.
“We did, but there was something else,” Eliza raised an eyebrow, “you guys seriously don’t remember?”
At that moment, I saw Lola’s eyes light up and a thin smile grew on her lips, something she always did whenever she was able to figure something out.
“You mean that little map game we played? Where we would go out to the woods and explore?”
Both Anthony and I seemed to have remembered as well with the mention of a ‘map game.’ I chimed in, “ yeah I remember! Every once in a while when we were all bored, we’d pick a random spot on a map to go to and explore there for a bit, right? When did we stop doing that anyways? I remember really enjoying it.”
“Well life happens,” Eliza responded to me, “but I was thinking of things to do for the rest of the summer when I suddenly remembered that game! That’s why I was so late for our meetup today, I was looking through my attic for this.” Eliza shook the box slightly and a couple things clattered around inside.
“There’s no way.” Anthony sounded like he was in disbelief.
“You mean…?” Lola sat forward in the chair. Eliza smirked, her adventurous nature creeping out as realization swept over us like a wave.
“Mhm! I found the map we used to use as well as the things we collected from our little escapades.” With that, Eliza opened the box, revealing a folded piece of paper and various trinkets scattered over the bottom of the capsule. Lola squealed with excitement and immediately snatched the box from Eliza, who simply chuckled and leaned back on the bed.
“No way! Everything’s still in here!” Lola digged through the box and placed whatever objects she found across the blanket. Anthony got up and sat at the foot of my bed, to observe our findings more closely. There was a piece of some clay pottery, some rusty springs and scraps of metal, an old digital camera, and some other random stuff I can’t recall to memory right now. Anthony picked up a spring and turned it in his palm.
“Shit man, this is from that abandoned junkyard we found in 8th grade…that feels like such a long time ago now.”
I examined the piece of pottery with Eliza looking over my shoulder. Lola picked up the digital camera.
“Do you remember where this came from?” I turned to Eliza and held up my discovery.
“No clue,” she shrugged. It must have been a while ago if even she didn’t remember. I turned the piece over and grew curious when I saw weird symbols inscribed on the inside of it. I squinted a bit, trying to discern some sort of pattern within the scribbles.
I turned to Eliza again, “hey, what do you think-”
“OH MY GOD GUYS IT STILL WORKS!” Lola’s voice went up a whole octave as she motioned to us.
The rest of us looked up as she turned the camera to face us. There were various photos we went through. All of us at lakes, museums, exploring the woods; everything we did from 7th grade until my freshman year seemed to be documented. The last photo was arguable the best and msot bittersweet. It was a picture of the whole group from a while ago. We were sitting at Eliza’s dinner table with a giant chocolate cake on the middle of it adorned with two candles shaped like the numbers one and five. Eliza was talking to me in the photo. Her hair was even more red at the time and she wore it in a braid. I looked about the same in the photo as I did then, with light brown hair, blue eyes, and freckles scattered all over my body and face. I was smiling sheepishly at Eliza. I now knew why Anthony said it was obvious I had a crush on her in 8th grade. Lola went through the most changes out of all of us. At the time in the photo, she had her hair straightened and side-swept, with a bright pink streak in her bangs. She wore clunky jewlery and a frilly skirt underneath a long tank top, leaning over the table to cut another slice of cake. All of us had birthday hats on except for Anthony, who kept his sitting on the table. He held up a peace sign staring straight into the camera with a stoic expression. He looked like a statue compared to the rest of us, who were laughing and smiling. You could tell he was having fun, though.
“Well don’t you look like a ray of sunshine,” Lola snickered as Anthony shot her a dirty look.
“At least I didn’t go through some weird scene phase in freshman year,” He smiled and watched Lola’s face, knowing she was blushing despite her dark skin which made it practically invisible. I let a laugh slip out, but quickly stifled it knowing that if I kept going it would mean death. Lola side-eyed me and continued, “I was using my creative liberty to experiment with my options as an artist,” she said with an overly-posh accent that made Eliza laugh.
“Yeah Anthony, don’t be such a downer,” Eliza teased. Anthony simply rolled his eyes and suppressed a smile to pretend like he was mad at all of us. He looked into the box and picked up the paper we left, unfolding it with a hint of excitement and curiosity. When he looked at it, only two words came out of his mouth.
“Holy shit.”
“What, what is it?” Lola tried to look at the other side of the paper, but Anthony quickly held it out of her view.
“What if I didn’t want to show you?” A smile crept onto his face. This was one of those rare moments where he’d be in the moos to joke around with us.
“Don’t be a dick bro,” I said, laughing as I went to grab for the paper. Anthony just held it up in the air and pushed me off of him and I landed on my floor. While he was distracted, though, Eliza took her chance and snatched the paper right out of his hand.
“You boys need to learn to be nice,” she warned in her jokingly stern voice as she unfolded the paper and spread it out onto my bed. We all leaned over to look.
It was a map of a couple towns including ours. There were around ten small star stickers placed on different areas on the map near the streets the four of us lived in. On the top of the map, a couple words were scrawled in black sharpie; “Pick a Place!” I could see everyone’s faces light up.
“Oh my god it’s our map!” Lola shouted and pointed to one of the stars near her street, “this was where we found that old junkyard right?”
Eliza smiled, “I remember that. It feels like such a long time ago now.” She pointed to another star, “and this is where we found that lake we made a hideout of. I still remember swimming in there in 8th grade…”
The four of us reminisced for a while, talking about where we had gone and what we did there, and how impressive it was that we didn’t get tetanus from that junkyard. After nearly an hour of conversation, Eliza asked something that made all of us stop.
“So how about it guys? Do you want to do one last round before the summer ends?”
The rest of us looked around at each other. It was clear we all wanted to do it. Eliza seemed to catch on and she nodded.
“Who wants to pick where we go?”
“How about you do the honors?” Lola suggested, motioning towards the map. “You’re the one that brought this stuff in anyways.”
Eliza raised her eyebrow but didn’t object. Without a word, she examined the map for a few minutes, then placed her finger on one spot a bit far from my house.
“How about here?”
“You think we can make it that far?” Anthony asked.
“Well, we can drive now so why not?”
“You sure there’s some type of trail we can drive on? That spot looks pretty deep in the woods”
“We can find a path to drive on for a bit then walk the rest of the way. C’mon guys, this is probably our last chance to do something like this! Felix, you can drive right?”
Eliza and the rest turned to me with a hopeful expression. I had to comply.
“Sure. No big deal, right?”
All three of them cheered and high fived each other, looking pretty excited to go on one last adventure.
“So when do we leave?” I questioned.
Eliza flashed that smile again, “right now.”
“Right now?!”
“Hell yeah,” Lola chimed in. “It shouldn’t take that long, right?”
“I guess…” Even then I felt uneasy about the whole thing. I didn’t feel prepared enough to go on some random trip into the woods. I needed to pack food, water, flashlights, I had no idea how long this was going to take. Little did I know that those things would be the least of my worries a couple hours from then. I wish I could go back and convince my 17-year-old self that it wasn’t worth it, that I should just convince my friends to stay and talk for the rest of the day. I wish Eliza had never remembered that stupid game. In a way, I’m almost mad at her for what happened, but I know it wasn’t anyones fault. We just wanted to have fun. I wish we could’ve just had fun. But God had a different plan for us. One that made me think Satan himself devised it instead. On July 16, 2013, Anthony He, Lola Smith, Eliza Landserson, and Felix Johanson went on an adventure that none of them were ready for.
Author's Note:
If you just read all of that then thank you so so so much for doing so! I'm a rookie writer, so feel free to comment any constructive criticism you might have if you have actual writing experience! This is the first silly little story I'm posting here, so I hope you enjoyed :)

If you want the full detailed story check my post history. Short story, the last time my friend and I hung out she basically said she felt our friendship had run it's course, loved me, but didn't want to be around me anymore. But she still wants me in her wedding. I was confused and blindsided and tried to ask questions she refused to answer.
Since that happened I've been asking myself does she even want me in the wedding or does she just feel obligated/it would look weird if I wasn't there.
Fast forward to today. I got a group chat message about a bridesmaid dress planning lunch.
So I guess im still in the wedding. Unfortunately I'm not exactly feeling it anymore. Ive never been good at fake smiling my way through uncomfortable situations. And I don't know what to do. I was planning to support and throw down for one of my best friends and she doesn't see me that way anymore.
So do i wait it out to see if she uninvites me?
Do I ask if she's sure she still wants me in the party after our last conversation?
Do I tell her I don't feel comfortable being a bridesmaidmaid but hope she let's me come as a regular guest?
Did any of you married folk get some kind of cold feet and get mad at your close friend during wedding planning?

My story:

• We dated for just over a year (she broke up with me a week after our one year)
• She told me the reasons were a) I was too giving and she didn't have the ability to give b) Her needs weren't being met
• After breaking up we met once to talk, once to give me my stuff back and then she contacted me again a week later that she found something and we met again
• We haven't spoken/seen each other since that last meeting on 4/23 (3 plus weeks ago) - at that time she told me she needed space & would speak to me when I have my surgery (having surgery on my leg)
• On 5/8 I met with my Dr. scheduled my surgery and texted her to tell her that I'm having my surgery (didn't tell her the date). The text I got back was thanks for letting her know/best of luck.
• About a week ago I muted her stories on Instagram so she knows I'm no longer viewing them
• This past Thursday she texted me that she knows we haven't really been speaking, she's "checking on me" and wanted to know the date of my surgery. A few back and forth texts and she told me she's happy there are no hard feelings/it was good to chat. I then asked if she'd like to meet for a drink/a walk in the near future and she said "yes"
• She moved two days ago

Questions:
Did she break no contact?
I was planning on sending her a text on Monday somewhat kitchy "You have a drink in your future this week, you can't say no!" with a funny gif of someone voting yes
Does the above seem like she's interested? Being kind?
Thanks in advance :)

Hello to whoever sees this, it is the first time I make a post here, I just want to say that the purpose of this post is just to express myself, how I feel, feel free to leave your comment, it doesn't matter if it's mockery, hate, support everything is welcome. I am 20 years old, and 8 months ago I was diagnosed with an anxious-depressive disorder and I am currently dealing with it. I have never seen the need to go to a psychologist. I only visited him once when I was little and I never did it again until 9 years ago. months, I visited a psychologist and after several appointments, he diagnosed me with this, and honestly it took me by surprise and in the following months everything has been worse, Like any family with old habits, they do not believe in these types of issues, it is horrible to know that your family does not support you and sees it as nonsense, I have friends, but my circle is reduced to 3 friends, yes, my inner circle is only 3 friends, all my life I was raised with women, my father abandoned my mother and me when I was 6 years old, and he was in prison for a crime in which he was accused but that is a story for another day, the point is that I grew up with my grandmother and my grandfather, my mother was an absent mother and was never at home, she never shared time with me and my family made me hate my childhood, my aunts were the main ones along with their children, they despised me every chance they could, Because I don't have the same things as your children, I'll be honest with you, I don't remember almost anything about the supposed things that I had, but honestly I was one of those who never took money to school, the one who wore things that were of no use to others. and you know, from the age of 9 I began to change my perspective on the world, I had learning problems but after I was expelled for not having attended a mathematics exam due to getting sick and going to another school, I understood that I had to change everything and I matured. an apparently quick way, as a teenager I went through what normally happens, falling in love, having a girlfriend, etc., I won't say so many details so as not to get away from the main thing, but turning 15 my perspective on life changed again, I understood that love is not They are just nice words, good compliments, I had a relationship with a girl older than me, she was 17 and I was 15, I guess it's strange but depending on the colors haha, well in the end I was fooled by someone who had similarities to a character in a book, So you can see the reason was extremely stupid, that to this day I have the belief that age does not define your maturity, in short this affected me a lot and being the boom of 2020, it was worse, I fell ill with that, you already know My mother almost died, but thank God she is alive, well, I left high school and went to university, and then I moved on to what I am currently living, In September 2023 I was detected with profound depressive anxious syndrome. At first I thought it was a joke but when I investigated, the truth is my world changed for the third time. At that time I had a friend named Carmen. We will call her Carmen. Carmen has or had, I don't really know. I fought with her, because she left me to go to C0g3r, the truth is today I don't think it was a stupid reason to fight, I just wanted her to help me because of the situation I was in, I was very sad and I didn't I had someone to talk to, I told her and she left me like garbage waiting for her at my house to be able to talk to her, and honestly this changed my perspective on the ties with my friends, especially with my female friends, the Most of my female friends tend to say that all men are the same and that's typical. I'll be honest, we all sin equally, both men and women. I'll tell you something. I'm usually someone who's quite reserved with people. I don't talk much. I'm someone who's quite introverted. and I think I manage to create bonds with women easily, so I grew up with my grandmother, my older sister, and with an aunt on my mother's side, and I saw the mistreatment they do to her, but well, I got off the topic, he Anyway, I got into a fight with Carmen, and we haven't spoken in a while. She doesn't know it but the reason I called her was because I wanted to take my life, I think I didn't do it because I wasn't determined enough, I already had where and with what but I decided to ask for help but they denied it, that's why since I was little I did my things alone and the things that were difficult for me to do I did as best I could and if it turned out badly I learned from it and did it better the next time. I am currently on medication but I don't know what to do anymore, my friends give me recommendations about everything, and my psychiatrist and my psychologist help me with certain therapies, I have tried to change several habits to feel better but nothing works for me anymore, I wanted to resume my physical activity going to boxing, but since this is the penultimate year of my degree, which is an engineering that in itself is quite demanding of time and a mental effort due to many sleepless nights, I am on the verge of being admitted to a psychiatric hospital