Do your tastes in fiction run a bit darker than most? Do you find yourself rooting for the bad guys in movies? Do you enjoy a good tragedy over a happy ending? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, this post is for you.
If you're anything like me, you've probably found yourself chasing the Abercrombie dragon after completing The First Law, standalones, and The Age of Madness trilogy, only to find that nothing else quite scratches that grimdark itch. Whether it's Joe's unforgettable characters, sharp dialogues, or epic battles, there's just something missing from other offerings in the genre.
So, as a thanks to all the authors of various recommendation threads from which I've picked up some wonderful books, I've put together this list to share where my wanderings have taken me and to hopefully point others like me in the right direction.
In no particular order:

1. Assassin's Apprentice - Robin Hobb (fb: Royal Assassin, Assassin's Quest)
   
2. Dune - Frank Herbert (fb: Dune Messiah, Children of Dune, God Emperor of Dune...)
   
3. The Road - Cormac McCarthy
   
4. Blood Meridian - Cormac McCarthy
   
5. The Shadow of the Torturer - Gene Wolf (fb: The Claw of the Conciliator, The Sword of the Lictor, The Citadel of the Autarch)
   
6. The Black Company - Glen Cook (fb: Shadows Linger, The White Rose, Shadow Games, Dreams of Steel, The Silver Spike, Bleak Seasons, She Is the Darkness, Water Sleeps, Soldiers Live...)
   
7. Heroes Die - Matthew Stover (fb: Blade of Tyshalle)
   
8. Theft of Swords - Michael J. Sullivan (fb: Rise of Empire, Heir of Novron)
   
9. The Darkness That Comes Before - R. Scott Bakker (fb: The Warrior Prophet, The Thousandfold Thought, The Judging Eye, The White-Luck Warrior, The Great Ordeal, The Unholy Consult)
   
10. Prince of Thorns - Mark Lawrence (fb: King of Thorns, Emperor of Thorns)
    
11. Gardens of the Moon - Steven Erikson (fb: Deadhouse Gates, Memories of Ice, House of Chains, Midnight Tides, The Bonehunters, Reaper's Gale, Toll the Hounds, Dust of Dreams, The Crippled God)
    
12. Blood Song - Anthony Ryan (fb: Tower Lord, Queen of Fire)
    
13. Metro 2033 - Dmitry Glukhovsky (fb: Metro 2034, Metro 2035)
    
14. Red Rising - Pierce Brown (fb: Golden Son, Morning Star, Iron Gold, Dark Age, Lightbringer...)
    
15. The Winter King - Bernard Cornwell (fb: Enemy of God, Excalibur)
    
16. The Traitor Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson (fb: The Monster Baru Cormorant, The Tyrant Baru Cormorant...)
    
17. Horus Rising (Warhammer 40k) - Dan Abnett (fb: False Gods, Galaxy in Flames)
    
18. Xenos (Warhammer 40k) - Dan Abnett (fb: Malleus, Hereticus, Ravenor...)
    
19. Red Sister - Mark Lawrence (fb: Grey Sister, Holy Sister)
    
20. The Ember Blade - Chris Wooding (fb: The Shadow Casket)
    
21. Priest of Bones - Peter McLean (fb: Priest of Lies, Priest of Gallows, Priest of Crowns)
    
22. The Conspiracy Against the Human Race (this was the basis for True Detective - Thomas Ligotti (fb: Songs of a Dead Dreamer)
    
23. Kings of Paradise - Richard Nell (fb: Kings of Ash, Kings of Heavan)
    
24. Empire of Silence - Christopher Ruocchio (fb: Howling Dark, Demon in White, Kingdoms of Death, Ashes of Man, Disquiet Gods)
    
25. We Are the Dead - Mike Shackle (fb: A Fool's Hope, Until the Last)
    
26. The Black Prism - Brent Weeks (fb: The Blinding Knife, The Broken Eye, The Blood Mirror, The Burning White)
    
27. Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - K.J. Parker (fb: How to Rule an Empire and Get Away with It, Practical Guide to Conquering the World)
    
28. Blackwing - Ed McDonald (fb: Ravencry, Crowfall)
    
29. A Game of Thrones - George R. R. Martin (fb: A Clash of Kings, A Storm of Swords, A Feast for Crows, A Dance with Dragons.......pls George)
    
30. The Way of Shadows - Brent Weeks (fb: Shadow's Edge, Beyond the Shadows)
    
31. Chasing Graves - Ben Galley (fb: Grim Solace, Breaking Chaos)
    
32. Soul Hunter (Warhammer 40k) - Aaron Dembski-Bowden (fb: Blood Reaver, Void Stalker)
    
33. Berserk (Manga) - Kentaro Miura
    
34. Beyond Redemption - Michael R. Fletcher (fb: The Mirror's Truth, Swarm and Steel)
    
35. The Warded Man - Peter V. Brett (fb: The Desert Spear, The Daylight War, The Skull Throne, The Core)
    
36. The Barrow - Mark Smylie (fb: Black Heart)
    
37. Winterbirth - Brian Ruckley (fb: Bloodheir, Fall of Thanes)
    
38. Scourge of the Betrayer - Jeff Salyards (fb: Veil of the Deserters, Chains of the Heretic)
    
39. The Lies of Locke Lamora - Scott Lynch (fb: Red Seas Under Red Skies, The Republic of Thieves...
    
40. The Name of the Wind - Patrick Rothfuss (fb: The Wise Man's Fear...)
    

If you enjoyed this list, please drop some recommendations! I'm always hunting for more quality grimdark.
EDIT:
Thread Recommendations:

1. Cahokia Jazz - Francis Stupford
   
2. Tomorrow's Children - Daniel Polansky
   
3. Between Two Fires - Christopher Buehlman
   
4. Pale (web serial) - Wildbow
   
5. The Band - Nicholas Eames (Kings of the Wyld, Bloody Rose)
   
6. Firefall - Peter Watts (Blindsight, Echopraxia)
   
7. The Faithful and the Fallen - John Gwynne (Malice, Valor, Ruin, Wrath)
   
8. The Bloodsworn Trilogy - John Gwynne (The Shadow of the Gods, The Hunger of the Gods, The Fury of the Gods)
   
9. The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever - Stephen R. Donaldson (Lord Foul's Bane, The Illeath War, The Power that Preserves, The Wounded Land, The One Tree, White Gold Wielder, The Runes of the Earth, Fatal Revenant, Against All Things Ending, The Last Dark)
   
10. The Gap Cycle - Stephen R. Donaldson (The Real Story: The Gap Into Conflict, Forbidden Knowledge: The Gap Into Vision, A Dark and Hungry God Arises: The Gap into Power, Chaos and Order, This Day All Gods Die)
    
11. The Chronicles of Amber - Roger Zelazny (Nine Princes in Amber, The Guns of Avalon, Sign of the Unicorn, The Hand of Oberon, The Courts of Chaos, Trumps of Doom, Blood of Amber, Sign of Chaos, Knights of Shadows, Prince of Chaos)
    
12. The Broken Earth Trilogy - N.K. Jemisin (The Fifth Season, The Obelisk Gate, The Stone Sky)
    
13. Dungeon Crawler Carl (Lit RPG) - Matt Dinniman (Dungeon Crawler Carl, Carl's Doomsday Scenario, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook, The Gate of the Feral Gods, The Butcher's Masquerade, The Eye of the Bedlam Bridge)
    
14. Gnomon - Nick Harkaway
    
15. The Gone-Away World - Nick Harkaway
    
16. Lonesome Dove, Streets of Laredo, Dead Man's Walk (Western/Abercrombie influence) - Larry McMurtry
    
17. The Blacktongue Thief - Christopher Buehlman
    

Hey y'all! Please take a look at my school list and whether my ECs will be a negative factor when applying.
ORM NC resident - large public school
519 MCAT
3.87 GPA
Scribing - 450 hours
Non-clinical volunteering - essentially paired with a cancer patient and visit them weekly to spend time with them: 120 hours
Leadership in on campus non-profit organization - 200 hours: working with peds oncology clinic to support the patients with crafts and decorating clinic etc.
Undergrad research lab - 600 hours feel as thought research was very disjointed - worked on many different projects but nothing start to finish unfortunately -> continuing during my gap year hoping to present a poster
$3k Research fellowship to do research at an international hospital for 1 summer - 480 hours and presented a poster
1 semester of RA work mostly data analysis through Family Medicine department
46 hours shadowing - published case report with a doctor through this
1 semester of anatomy tutoring
Hobbies: Chess, playing piano
Gap Year ECs: Full time as medical assistant and weekend volunteering at nursing home
Emory University
Columbia University for funsies
Mount Sinai
Vanderbilt University
University of Pittsburgh
University of Colorado
Quinnipiac University
University of Central Florida
University of Miami
USF Health Morsani
Boston University
Tufts
University of Massachusetts
University of North Carolina
Wake Forest University
Albert Einstein COM
Hofstra
Case Western
Ohio State University
University of Cincinnati
Thomas Jefferson University
University of Virginia
VCU
University of Vermont SOM
Tulane SOM
Brody SOM at ECU
Hackensack Meridian SOM
Drexel
Penn State COM
Eastern Virginia SOM
Virginia Tech Carilion SOM
University of Arizona - Phoenix
am I cooked?

I often think about Celebrimbor, and I simply can’t get over the obvious visual parallel with St. Sebastian. This is St Sebastian’s martyrdom: by Reni), and Mantegna).
Celebrimbor died thus: “In black anger [Sauron] turned back to battle; and bearing as a banner Celebrimbor’s body hung upon a pole, shot through with Orc-arrows, he turned upon the forces of Elrond.” (UT, p. 307–308)
The iconography (see drawings by peet, and Kaaile) is the same.
And this led me to wondering about what made Tolkien, a Catholic, decide to give his Elf who fell to Sauron’s manipulations a famous Christian martyrdom, and why St Sebastian in particular?
I don’t know enough about St Sebastian or Tolkien to do more than speculate.
First, as a hint of Celebrimbor’s feelings for fair Annatar. St. Sebastian has a strong gay association. This was so even at the turn of the 20th century: Oscar Wilde clearly loved St Sebastian and the associated iconography. Here he refers specifically to Guido Reni’s wonderful painting of St Sebastian. In The Picture of Dorian Gray, St Sebastian is highlighted in Chapter XI, the chapter about Dorian’s personal (and generally rather decadent) passions. St Sebastian also appears in Thomas Mann’s Der Tod in Venedig(Zweites Kapitel). I can see the whole thing as being a hint at Celebrimbor falling for Sauron in more ways than one, particularly given what we know of his seduction (the term used in LOTR, p. 1083) by Annatar in his “fair form” (Sil, Index of Names, entry Annatar; UT, p. 328). Sauron is said to have “used all his arts upon Celebrimbor and his fellow-smiths” (UT, p. 306). “All his arts” would include this: “Yet such was the cunning of his mind and mouth, and the strength of his hidden will, that ere three years had passed he had become closest to the secret counsels of the King; for flattery sweet as honey was ever on his tongue, and knowledge he had of many things yet unrevealed to Men. And seeing the favour that he had of their lord all the councillors began to fawn upon him, save one alone” (Sil, Akallabêth). To me, this passage sounds distinctly sexual, and also like something that Oscar Wilde could have written, with this imagery.
(I admit that having Celebrimbor fall in love with Annatar makes the eventual betrayal even worse. I also am aware that in one of the many different versions presented in The History of Galadriel and Celeborn, it is said that Celebrimbor loved Galadriel (UT, p. 324–325), but according to Christopher Tolkien, this “Celebrimbor is here again a jewel-smith of Gondolin, rather than one of the Fëanorians” (UT, p. 325), which is why I tend to take his characterisation here with a pinch of salt.)
The other thought I had is quite dark: rape. It’s an association that I personally feel imposes itself, in a way. “The arrow is a highly phallic image” (source) already, and there’s the image of Cupid’s two arrows, causing uncontrollable desire in one victim, and revulsion in the other. The result for the person who was shot by the second arrow was rape—or death (or transformation into a tree if your father happened to be (1) a god, and (2) nearby: Daphne). I’m not the first person to connect the iconography of St Sebastian with rape: see this (NSFW, nudity and violence) blogpost. This could be a very Tolkienian hint of what Celebrimbor suffered in his “torment” (UT, p. 307) at the hands of Sauron before his death—subtle, “clean”, deniable, but intriguing.
We know that Morgoth wanted to rape Lúthien (“Then Morgoth looking upon her beauty conceived in his thought an evil lust, and a design more dark than any that had yet come into his heart since he fled from Valinor. Thus he was beguiled by his own malice, for he watched her, leaving her free for awhile, and taking secret pleasure in his thought.” (Sil, QS, ch. 19)) and that, while the above passage implies that Morgoth only ever wanted to rape Lúthien and no other, that is not true: he also attempted to rape Arien, the Maia of the Sun, in order specifically to break her: “though he attempted to ravish Arien, this was to destroy and ‘distain’ her, not to beget fiery offspring” (HoME X, p. 405, fn omitted).
Sauron, meanwhile, is described thus: “Sauron was become now a sorcerer of dreadful power, master of shadows and of phantoms, foul in wisdom, cruel in strength, misshaping what he touched, twisting what he ruled, lord of werewolves; his dominion was torment.” (Sil, QS, ch. 18) I do not think that it would be either out-of-character for Sauron or “out-of-world” for the Legendarium (especially as Sauron used to be Morgoth’s second-in-command in Angband) to assume that Sauron raped Celebrimbor in order to break him or just because he’s an obvious sadist who would enjoy every last second of it, or had others rape Celebrimbor as grisly a method of torture—and then turned him into his banner to show the Elves what he’d done, and dishonour Celebrimbor even further in death.
(Note that it is a common misconception that Elves die when raped. As per HoME X, p. 228 (a text likely from the late 1950s: HoME X, p. 199), this only applies to married Elves raped by someone who is not their spouse: “there is no record of any among the Elves that took another’s spouse by force; for this was wholly against their nature, and one so forced would have rejected bodily life and passed to Mandos.” (Emphasis mine) This is confirmed by the fact that in a later (from 1959–1960: HoME XI, p. 359–360) text, Eöl rapes unmarried Aredhel and Aredhel survives: “Eöl found Irith, the sister of King Turgon, astray in the wild near his dwelling, and he took her to wife by force: a very wicked deed in the eyes of the Eldar.” (HoME XI, p. 409, fn omitted, emphasis mine) Note the same expression used to describe a rape.)
This post turned out longer than I planned. I’ve speculated on two possible associations that the imagery of St Sebastian and the character and story of Celebrimbor invite. Do you have other ideas? Why do you think that Tolkien chose this imagery?
Sources:

• Unfinished Tales of Númenor & Middle-earth, JRR Tolkien, ed Christopher Tolkien, HarperCollins 2014 (softcover) [cited as: UT].
• The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien, HarperCollins 2007 (softcover) [cited as: LOTR].
• The Silmarillion, JRR Tolkien, ed Christopher Tolkien, HarperCollins, ebook edition February 2011, version 2019-01-09 [cited as: Sil].
• Morgoth’s Ring, JRR Tolkien, Christopher Tolkien, HarperCollins 2015 (softcover) [cited as: HoME X].
• The War of the Jewels, JRR Tolkien, Christopher Tolkien, HarperCollins 2015 (softcover) [cited as: HoME XI].

I’m working on my application and wanted some advice on my school list. I’m applying straight from undergrad so these are all undergrad stats and I’m applying only MD this cycle. I feel like I have a lot of high reach schools based on my ECs so if anyone has advice on some more realistic schools I can apply to that would be great. Thank you in advance! * sorry for the messed up format*

1. Haven’t taken the MCAT yet (testing in a week) but I’m looking at a 510-513
   
2. Clinical experience ~400 hrs Medical Assistant ~35 hrs volunteering at the VA ~250 hours working under a camp nurse at a summer camp
   
3. cGPA: 3.9, sGPA: 3.8
   
4. Research ~100 hours in a cognitive neuro lab (one semester so far) ~ Two semesters expected of research required for my major (I know it doesn’t really count since it’s expected)
   
5. Shadowing ~16 hours shadowing an oncologist ~ Hoping to get about 20 hours next week shadowing a neurologist
   
6. 100 hrs non clinical volunteer
   
7. 300 hours as a peer mentor
   
8. PA resident
   
9. URM black woman, 20 years old
   
10. Been a member of a few clubs but haven’t really been actively involved
    

Schools 1. LKSOM at Temple University 2. Drexel University college of medicine 3. UPENN (extremelyy high reach but it’s in my state so why not) 4. Sidney Kimmel Medical College at Thomas Jefferson University 5. Geisinger Commonwealth SOM 6. Penn state 7. West Virginia University 8. Toledo 9. University of Pittsburgh 10. Tulane University School of Medicine 11. University of Virginia School of Medicine 12. Eastern Virginia Medical school 13. Rush medical college 14. University of Florida College of Medicine 15. Georgetown University School of Medicine 16. University of Texas Medical Branch 17. Emory SOM 18. Tufts 19. Boston University Medical school

I've always held the idea that Harrys soulgaze would be someone standing in a grave yard, looking at a battered and bloodied Harry. His revolver spent and discarded, his staff snapped, blasting wand ashes and his shield bracelet molten slag on his arm.
He's stood amongst corpses, bones and graves and behind him are huddled shadowed mass of frightened people. Harry is in a last desperate stand is facing against numerous Harrys.
One Harry lays decayed on the ground in a designer suit and immaculate haircut (this is the Harry who could have taken up with Marcone), another Harry is scorched and smoking with the corpse halfway through ripping out of its skin and emerging as a monstrous bat like creature (this is the Harry that could have been turned by the Reds), another Harry is impaled on a silver sword and his immaculate white cloak is stained red with blood (this is the potential Warden of the Council he could have been).
One Harry is behind the rest a glowing pair of eyes above his own and an hourglass symbol above that (Harry can still call on Lasciel at anytime), observing the bones of the dead is a Harry dressed all in black and surrounded by necromantic energy (Harry could perform the darkhallow and become a god of death). The remaining two are stood side by side and are pressing the attack. One is dressed all in white (the white court Harry) and the other dressed in artic blue with frost on his arms and a hunger in his eyes (The Winter knight version of Harry).
To me I love the idea that this soul gaze evolved as time went on. The various paths Harry could have taken trying to claim his soul as he stands a last bastion against the innocents of the world as he stands amongst the fallen friends and lovers.
It would explain Molly saying he's lonely and her awe of him and why he earns respect from people like Michael and I can imagine his mother speaking to Thomas in this battlefield

I often think about Celebrimbor, and I simply can’t get over the obvious visual parallel with St. Sebastian. This is St Sebastian’s martyrdom: by Reni), and Mantegna).
Celebrimbor died thus: “In black anger [Sauron] turned back to battle; and bearing as a banner Celebrimbor’s body hung upon a pole, shot through with Orc-arrows, he turned upon the forces of Elrond.” (UT, p. 307–308)
The iconography (see drawings by peet, and Kaaile) is the same.
And this led me to wondering about what made Tolkien, a Catholic, decide to give his Elf who fell to Sauron’s manipulations a famous Christian martyrdom, and why St Sebastian in particular?
I don’t know enough about St Sebastian or Tolkien to do more than speculate.
First, as a hint of Celebrimbor’s feelings for fair Annatar. St. Sebastian has a strong gay association. This was so even at the turn of the 20th century: Oscar Wilde clearly loved St Sebastian and the associated iconography. Here he refers specifically to Guido Reni’s wonderful painting of St Sebastian. In The Picture of Dorian Gray, St Sebastian is highlighted in Chapter XI, the chapter about Dorian’s personal (and generally rather decadent) passions. St Sebastian also appears in Thomas Mann’s Der Tod in Venedig(Zweites Kapitel). I can see the whole thing as being a hint at Celebrimbor falling for Sauron in more ways than one, particularly given what we know of his seduction (the term used in LOTR, p. 1083) by Annatar in his “fair form” (Sil, Index of Names, entry Annatar; UT, p. 328). Sauron is said to have “used all his arts upon Celebrimbor and his fellow-smiths” (UT, p. 306). “All his arts” would include this: “Yet such was the cunning of his mind and mouth, and the strength of his hidden will, that ere three years had passed he had become closest to the secret counsels of the King; for flattery sweet as honey was ever on his tongue, and knowledge he had of many things yet unrevealed to Men. And seeing the favour that he had of their lord all the councillors began to fawn upon him, save one alone” (Sil, Akallabêth). To me, this passage sounds distinctly sexual, and also like something that Oscar Wilde could have written, with this imagery.
(I admit that having Celebrimbor fall in love with Annatar makes the eventual betrayal even worse. I also am aware that in one of the many different versions presented in The History of Galadriel and Celeborn, it is said that Celebrimbor loved Galadriel (UT, p. 324–325), but according to Christopher Tolkien, this “Celebrimbor is here again a jewel-smith of Gondolin, rather than one of the Fëanorians” (UT, p. 325), which is why I tend to take his characterisation here with a pinch of salt.)
The other thought I had is quite dark: rape. It’s an association that I personally feel imposes itself, in a way. “The arrow is a highly phallic image” (source) already, and there’s the image of Cupid’s two arrows, causing uncontrollable desire in one victim, and revulsion in the other. The result for the person who was shot by the second arrow was rape—or death (or transformation into a tree if your father happened to be (1) a god, and (2) nearby: Daphne). I’m not the first person to connect the iconography of St Sebastian with rape: see this (NSFW, nudity and violence) blogpost. This could be a very Tolkienian hint of what Celebrimbor suffered in his “torment” (UT, p. 307) at the hands of Sauron before his death—subtle, “clean”, deniable, but intriguing.
We know that Morgoth wanted to rape Lúthien (“Then Morgoth looking upon her beauty conceived in his thought an evil lust, and a design more dark than any that had yet come into his heart since he fled from Valinor. Thus he was beguiled by his own malice, for he watched her, leaving her free for awhile, and taking secret pleasure in his thought.” (Sil, QS, ch. 19)) and that, while the above passage implies that Morgoth only ever wanted to rape Lúthien and no other, that is not true: he also attempted to rape Arien, the Maia of the Sun, in order specifically to break her: “though he attempted to ravish Arien, this was to destroy and ‘distain’ her, not to beget fiery offspring” (HoME X, p. 405, fn omitted).
Sauron, meanwhile, is described thus: “Sauron was become now a sorcerer of dreadful power, master of shadows and of phantoms, foul in wisdom, cruel in strength, misshaping what he touched, twisting what he ruled, lord of werewolves; his dominion was torment.” (Sil, QS, ch. 18) I do not think that it would be either out-of-character for Sauron or “out-of-world” for the Legendarium (especially as Sauron used to be Morgoth’s second-in-command in Angband) to assume that Sauron raped Celebrimbor in order to break him or just because he’s an obvious sadist who would enjoy every last second of it, or had others rape Celebrimbor as grisly a method of torture—and then turned him into his banner to show the Elves what he’d done, and dishonour Celebrimbor even further in death.
(Note that it is a common misconception that Elves die when raped. As per HoME X, p. 228 (a text likely from the late 1950s: HoME X, p. 199), this only applies to married Elves raped by someone who is not their spouse: “there is no record of any among the Elves that took another’s spouse by force; for this was wholly against their nature, and one so forced would have rejected bodily life and passed to Mandos.” (Emphasis mine) This is confirmed by the fact that in a later (from 1959–1960: HoME XI, p. 359–360) text, Eöl rapes unmarried Aredhel and Aredhel survives: “Eöl found Irith, the sister of King Turgon, astray in the wild near his dwelling, and he took her to wife by force: a very wicked deed in the eyes of the Eldar.” (HoME XI, p. 409, fn omitted, emphasis mine) Note the same expression used to describe a rape.)
This post turned out longer than I planned. I’ve speculated on two possible associations that the imagery of St Sebastian and the character and story of Celebrimbor invite. Do you have other ideas? Why do you think that Tolkien chose this imagery?
Sources:

• Unfinished Tales of Númenor & Middle-earth, JRR Tolkien, ed Christopher Tolkien, HarperCollins 2014 (softcover) [cited as: UT].
• The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien, HarperCollins 2007 (softcover) [cited as: LOTR].
• The Silmarillion, JRR Tolkien, ed Christopher Tolkien, HarperCollins, ebook edition February 2011, version 2019-01-09 [cited as: Sil].
• Morgoth’s Ring, JRR Tolkien, Christopher Tolkien, HarperCollins 2015 (softcover) [cited as: HoME X].
• The War of the Jewels, JRR Tolkien, Christopher Tolkien, HarperCollins 2015 (softcover) [cited as: HoME XI].

Prologue
First
Previous / Next
Spanish Version (OG Version)
Credits to u/SpacePaladin15 for creating this universe.
And thanks to u/Signal-Chicken559 for proof-reading and the feedback, seriously, thank you.
Also available on Archive of Our Own
Note: There's a post on the Discord of this subreddit, so if you wanna discuss something about my story, that should be the place to go
\---------------------0
Memory Transcription Subject: Syra, Universal History Student at Brightspire and Member of the Human-Venlil Exchange Program
Date [standardized human date]: September 17, 2136
Maybe this "therapy" wouldn't be so bad after all. Perhaps they just wanted to make sure Daniel felt comfortable and supported during his stay here. I hoped that was the case, because otherwise, I wouldn't hesitate to bare my claws if necessary to protect him.
For now, I would let things flow naturally. But I would keep a close eye out, just in case. Daniel wasn't alone in this, I was here to look out for him.
[Time advancement: 10 minutes]
"...and that's more or less how I ended up here, details more, details less," Daniel finished recounting how he had arrived.
He seems satisfied with what Daniel has told so far. Good sign, I suppose. Although I still wonder what exactly this "therapy" is about.
At that, the "psychologist" gets up and walks to the back of the room. He takes some kind of portable whiteboard and places it in front of us. He then takes out a couple of markers and begins to draw a simple diagram.
"Well, Daniel, I think I have a general idea of who you are," he says as he scribbles on the whiteboard. "Now I'd like to explain my approach a bit in this session."
I frown slightly, intrigued. The Doctor draws a large circle in the center of the whiteboard and writes the word "Communication" inside it.
"You see, for me communication is the key to everything," he continues. "It's the medium through which we can express our needs and obtain what we need or desire."
I nod slowly, contemplating the diagram. It makes sense so far. The Doctor continues tracing more elements, listing some steps:

1. Describe observable facts
2. Emotions + Thoughts → Feelings
3. NEEDS
4. Expressed in the form of a request

Thank the stars I downloaded the new translation packages a while ago, otherwise I wouldn't be able to read this.
"The first thing is to describe the observable facts objectively," he explains while pointing to step 1. "Then, express the emotions and thoughts that arise in relation to those facts. But most importantly, identify the underlying need that those emotions and thoughts reflect."
He takes another color and draws an arrow that goes from the "Needs" circle to another where he writes "Finds the common ground with the other person."
"Once the needs are identified, we can express them in the form of a request to the other person," he says. "In this way, both parties can work together to satisfy those needs in a collaborative and empathetic way."
I nod again, beginning to understand his approach. It's... interesting, to be honest. Very different from the more authoritarian and repressive approach I experienced with my sister's case. The Doctor takes a moment to study our reactions.
"I know this may seem a bit foreign to your customs, Syra," he admits in an understanding tone. "But on Earth we have learned (or we're supposed to) that repressing or denying emotions only leads to more conflicts and suffering. It's better to express them in a healthy way and seek solutions that benefit everyone."
He turns back to the whiteboard and draws another more elaborate diagram. This time, there is a kind of circle, with elongated triangles inside, Daniel explained to me in my previous chats with him, that this was called a "compass" and was used for guidance at sea (By the stars, what's wrong with these humans? Don't they see that the sea is extremely dangerous?!). This compass seemed to be surrounded by several sectors, each with the name of an emotion: joy, sadness, fear, anger, boredom, disgust, surprise.
I look at the diagram with curiosity, it's an interesting concept, although very different from what I've learned on Venlil Prime.
The Doctor points to the central circle with the word "Communication."
"As you can see, for me everything revolves around effective communication," he continues calmly. "First, we must describe the facts objectively, without judging."
I nod slowly, following his explanation. So far it makes sense.
"Then, it is crucial to identify the emotions and thoughts that those facts generate in us. We should not repress or deny them," he continues, tracing more elements on the diagram. "Those emotions and thoughts lead us to identify an underlying need."
I frown a little when I hear that. Needs... my mind goes back to the situation with my sister. Could it be that she just needed to express herself better? No, I can't think about that now.
"Once the need is identified, we can express it as a request to the other person," the Doctor draws an arrow pointing to the words "Finds the common ground." "Thus, both parties can work together to satisfy those needs in an empathetic and collaborative way."
I open my eyes in surprise. Is he suggesting that we can simply... ask for what we need? Without fear, without reprisals. It's such a foreign idea from what I experienced... But at the same time, it makes a certain sense.
The Doctor turns towards us, studying our reactions.
"I know this approach may seem strange to you Venlil," he admits with understanding. "But on Earth we learned that repressing or denying emotions only brings more conflicts. It's better to express them in a healthy way."
I swallow hard with discomfort. It's true that on Venlil Prime we are taught to keep certain emotions under control. Especially those that could be seen as... "predatory."
"Um... Excuse me, Doctor," I interject cautiously. "I understand your point, but... What about those emotions or behaviors that are considered harmful or problematic?"
The Doctor looks at me intently before responding.
"It's a very valid question, Syra. But you see, no emotion is inherently 'good' or 'bad'," he explains patiently. "Even emotions like anger or fear have a purpose and meaning. The important thing is to learn to identify them, understand them and express them appropriately."
I frown thoughtfully. Is he suggesting that even the darkest emotions have a place? It's certainly... different from what I've been taught.
"But... What if those emotions endanger others?" I insist, unable to avoid thinking of my sister. "In my culture, certain behaviors, though emotional, are seen as a 'disease'."
A heavy silence settles in the room. I can sense Daniel's discomfort by my side, though he doesn't say a word. The Doctor remains silent for a moment, did I say something wrong?
"I understand your concern, and I'm sorry for that, Syra," he finally responds. "I understand that each culture may have its own norms and values. But at least on Earth, we have learned that pathologizing or repressing certain emotions only increases suffering."
He takes a breath before continuing.
"The important thing is to find healthy ways to express and channel those intense emotions. With support, understanding and appropriate tools, no one has to resort to harm or violence."
I ponder his words carefully. It's such a different perspective... But I can't help the doubts that assail me. If my sister had had that "support" and "understanding"... would she still be alive?
At that moment, I remember what Thomas mentioned about Daniel's "diagnosis." I glance sideways at my human companion sitting beside me, who remains silent.
"Um... Doctor, if you don't mind me asking," I begin cautiously. "What exactly does that 'diagnosis' you mentioned before mean? The 'Autism Spectrum Disorder'?"
Daniel tenses visibly by my side, as if he wants to avoid that conversation. But the Doctor simply nods calmly.
"Well it's not a bad question, Syra," he responds. "Autism Spectrum Disorder is a neurodivergent condition that primarily affects the development of social skills and communication. People on the spectrum can have difficulties interpreting social cues, maintaining eye contact or understanding figurative language."
I look at Daniel with renewed interest, trying to better understand his situation. Maybe that's why it's so hard for him to socialize...
"But that doesn't mean they are 'sick' or 'deficient' people," the Doctor is quick to clarify. "They simply have a neurodivergent processing of social information. With the right supports, they can develop fully."
My gaze softens as I observe Daniel. I feel a wave of understanding toward him. All this time he has been dealing with these challenges and yet he still strives to establish bonds and learn about my culture.
"There's no need to be alarmed. As I said, the intention is not to judge or label anyone. We simply want to understand and provide the appropriate support."
I nod slowly, feeling the tension dissipate a little. Then, the Doctor takes out a deck of cards from a small briefcase he had at his side.
"In fact, would you like to play a little game? It could help us get to know each other in a more relaxed way."
I glance sideways at Daniel, not quite sure what to expect. He shrugs indifferently, as if letting me decide. Well, why not? A game could be a more pleasant way to get through this "therapy."
"Sure, let's play," I respond, giving a slight smile and gesturing with my tail.
The Doctor nods and proceeds to explain the rules of the game called "Sussed?". It doesn't seem too complicated: basically, we have to read some cards with 3 questions and 3 answer options each, choose the one that best represents us and try to guess which answer to that question the player who asked it chose.
"Sounds good," I comment as the Doctor deals the cards to each of us. "Do you want to start?"
This was the kind of board games I liked the most.
"Sure, why not?" the Doctor replied as he takes the first card. "Let's see..."
After a few moments, he chooses the card, looks at it for another moment, and the psychologist says:
"This question says: 'If you could swap bodies with anyone for a day, who would you choose?'"
I frown thoughtfully. It's an interesting question, to be honest. Who would a human want to swap bodies with?
If I were human, who would I swap bodies with?
I glance sideways at Daniel and a mischievous idea crosses my mind. What if...? No, no, that would be too daring.
But I return to the objective, to guess who the therapist would become, and then he says the options:
"And the options are:

• A). Your ideal partner;
• B). Your idol or favorite celebrity; and
• C). Your game companion (if this option, who?)"

He paused.
"What do you say? Who do you think I would choose?"
I narrowed my eyes suspiciously and made a new gesture with my ears. My ideal partner? That option seemed too suggestive for a human like him. Or would it be too obvious? And what if he chose his idol to get to know them better? I didn't completely rule out the last option either.
"Hmm..." I murmured, scratching my chin. "I'd say... C? He'd swap with one of us for a day?"
Daniel shifted beside me, seeming just as intrigued by the question as I was. Doctor Calderón simply shook his head.
"Good theory, but no. My answer was B," he revealed calmly.
Well! It made sense, I suppose. Humans really do seem obsessed with their celebrities and public figures, Daniel told me they had many, many celebrations of the historical figures of each of their countries, so each "paw" or "whatever" of their year celebrated something or someone.
"I see," I nodded. "Interesting choice."
"Alright, I guess it's my turn now," Daniel cleared his throat through his mask. "Let's see... 'If you could travel through time, what era would you choose to visit?'"
That was a fairly typical question for a game like this, but it still made me think. What era would Daniel like to visit? So many possibilities...
The options Daniel mentioned were:

• A). The remote past;
• B). The future; and
• C). A golden age or key historical period.

What era would Daniel like to visit?
Honestly, I'm not too sure which one he might choose. Knowing his fascination with space exploration, he might choose the future to see how civilizations evolve. But he could also be interested in some golden age from his species' remote past.
Determined to guess his answer, I risk my hunch:
"Hmm, I think you'd say... option C? A golden age or key historical period?" I suggest, moving my tail inquisitively. "That's the impression I get considering your interest in history."
Daniel takes a few moments before responding with a slight nod.
"Good intuition, Syra. I chose option C, a golden age. More specifically, the European Renaissance I told you about before, don't you remember?" he reveals in a calm tone. "It was a period of great scientific and cultural advancement for my species."
I nod, pleased to have guessed right. It's interesting how Daniel seems to value the periods of intellectual and artistic progress of his civilization, despite its apparently violent background.
"Ah, yes, you told me it was a transcendental moment for humans in areas like philosophy, the arts and knowledge in general."
"Exactly. Figures like Leonardo da Vinci, Galileo, Michelangelo and so many others laid the foundations of modern science and thought. Although there were shadows too, of course."
Doctor Calderón nods and takes notes in a small notebook he has by his side. I feel curious to learn more about this "golden age" that Daniel mentions, so I decide to ask:
"If it's okay with you, could you tell me a little more about that 'Renaissance'?" I inquire, my ears slightly raised. "I'm interested in knowing what made it so important for your species."
Daniel settles into his seat, as if preparing for a more extensive explanation. I notice how his hands, make some gestures as he speaks, something I've noticed humans often do.
"Well, the Renaissance was a cultural movement that emerged in the European region during the 15th and 16th centuries, mainly in cities like Florence, Rome and Venice," he begins to explain. "After a period known as the Middle Ages, where a somewhat more rigid and dogmatic thought predominated, the Renaissance brought a resurgence of interest in the classical ideals of ancient Greece and Rome."
I nod, trying to follow his line of thought. Humans seem to have a special fascination with those ancient cultures from their past.
"Renaissance artists and thinkers promoted a more humanistic and rational approach," Daniel continues. "Figures like Leonardo da Vinci embodied the idea of the 'Renaissance man', one who sought knowledge in various areas: art, science, engineering, philosophy, and blah, blah, blah."
"Wow, that sounds really interesting," I comment sincerely. "Could you give me some more concrete examples of the achievements of that period?"
Daniel nods and proceeds to mention some Renaissance milestones: Da Vinci's advances in anatomy and his studies on the human body, the astronomical discoveries of Galileo Galilei, artworks like the Sistine Chapel and Michelangelo's David, and the rediscovery of his species' literary classics.
"In summary, it was an era of great creative and intellectual effervescence," Daniel concludes. "Though of course there was still a long way to go."
I nod, fascinated by Daniel's description. It's admirable how his species managed to propel itself forward in those key periods, despite the difficulties and limitations they faced back then. I can't help but wonder if the Venlil will ever experience a similar awakening, at least, of thought...
At that moment, I remember we're playing "Sussed?", grab one of the cards and choose one of its questions, taking advantage of Daniel's enthusiasm for history and culture.
"Alright, my turn," I announce, taking a new card. "If you could choose one supernatural ability, what would it be?' And the options are:

• A). Flying,
• B). Mind reading or
• C). Time travel."

I pause, observing Daniel and Doctor Calderón's reactions. This question certainly lets the imagination fly.
"What do you say? What do you think I would choose?"
Now that I think about it, what would I choose?
I would definitely choose to be able to fly.
The idea of soaring through the skies with total freedom seems incredibly appealing to me. I imagine how exciting it would be to explore Venlil Prime's landscapes from the heights, without restrictions.
Daniel remains silent for a few moments, as if carefully analyzing the options. I can imagine the gears turning inside that peculiar human head of his. Finally, he responds:
"Time travel."
Time travel? I didn't expect that. I suppose it makes sense coming from a being so fascinated by the vast universe and its unsolved mysteries.
"Ohhh, interesting choice," I comment with curiosity. "May I ask why you think I would choose that ability?"
Daniel shrugs and responds in a casual tone:
"Well, I think time travel would open up infinite possibilities for knowledge and adventure," he explains. "Imagine being able to witness historical events firsthand or catch a glimpse of the future to guide us better. It would be amazing."
I nod slowly, surprised by his reasoning. Humans certainly have an overflowing imagination.
"Woah, I hadn't seen it that way," I admit. "Although it could also be risky, don't you think? Messing with the past or knowing too much about the future."
Daniel laughs through his mask, a metallic and distorted sound.
"Good point. I guess we'd have to be really careful with that," he concedes.
"Although it would just be a small glimpse, nothing major like changing history. What do you think, Dr. Calderón? What ability do you think Syra would choose?"
Dr. Calderón takes a moment to think about it.
"Hmm, I think you would choose to read minds," he finally responds. "It would be very useful for better understanding people in general."
My ears twitch strangely at his response.
"Wouldn't that be an invasion of privacy?"
"It depends on how the power works, I would set certain limits so it only activates in specific situations or places, for example."
I guess that makes sense, but I'm still not sure I'd want to read minds in general, knowing what people really think of you all the time doesn't seem like the best idea.
Anyway, it's time to reveal the answer I chose.
"Well, you're wrong, because I would choose to fly."
"But why?" Daniel asks me.
"Well, the idea of flying seems interesting to me, being able to move at full speed without ground traffic or gravity's obstacles seems appealing."
"That's an interesting answer," Calderón responds.
I guess I should take it well that he says it's an interesting answer.
"Alright, my turn again," I announced, taking a new card. "If you could have a supernatural ability, which would it be: flying, teleporting or mind control?"
And so we continued playing successively, for a good while.
[Time advancement: 50 minutes]
Dr. Calderón collects the game cards and carefully puts them away in his briefcase. Then, he turns towards us with a friendly smile.
"Well, I think that's it for today," he announces in a calm voice. "How was it? I hope it was a constructive experience and helped you get to know each other a little better."
I nod slowly, feeling a mix of emotions. On one hand, this "therapy" has been extremely revealing about how humans think. But on the other, I can't help but still feel some apprehension.
"It was... interesting, no doubt," I respond frankly. "I admit that some of your ideas seem quite foreign to what I'm used to. But I also recognize that it makes sense, at least from your perspective."
The Doctor nods in understanding.
"It's normal for them to seem strange at first, Syra," he says patiently. "Cultural differences run deep. But that doesn't mean they're incompatible, right? It simply requires effort from both sides to find common ground."
I ponder his words, turning to look at Daniel. He remains silent, but I notice how he watches me through the mask, as if evaluating my reaction. I can almost imagine the gears turning inside his head... peculiar, but endearing in a way.
"You're right," I finally admit. "It's just a matter of continuing to learn and understand. And for that, both sides have to keep an open mind."
I smile slightly and, in an impulsive gesture, bring my tail towards Daniel, gently coiling it around his arm. He tenses briefly but doesn't pull away.
"Don't worry," I tell him softly. "We'll get to understanding each other, you'll see."
Daniel nods stiffly, saying nothing. I can imagine his discomfort, but I hope that in time he'll understand that he doesn't have to be ashamed of his "peculiarity." At least, not with me.
At that moment, Dr. Calderón stands up from his seat.
"Well, I think that concludes today's session," he announces in an affable tone. "You can return to your rest area. And please, don't hesitate to request me if you need anything."
We nod and stand up to leave the therapy room. Once in the hallway, I give Daniel a friendly tail gesture.
We walk back to our little "suite", already familiar to us after the therapy session with Dr. Calderón. An awkward silence hangs between Daniel and me as we make our way through the station's hallways.
I feel relieved that therapy didn't turn out as terrifying as I initially feared. But at the same time, I can't help but dwell on some of the things the Doctor said. That about "letting emotions flow" and not repressing them... It's so alien to what I've experienced.
I glance sideways at Daniel, with his mask and that characteristically rigid body language. I wonder what he's thinking about it all. Does he feel comfortable with that idea of emotional and social "openness"? From what I could tell, he seems somewhat reluctant, although I suppose it's natural given his... peculiarity.
I shake my head, brushing those thoughts aside. I shouldn't judge so harshly. I'm just seeing things from my limited perspective. Maybe for humans that "openness" works better. Or maybe not. I still have a lot to learn, at least about them.
We finally reach our little "suite" and go inside. It's a cozy space, with a common living room and our two individual bedrooms on either side as always. Nothing luxurious, but at least it's private and comfortable.
I plop down heavily on the couch, letting out a slight sigh. Daniel sits at the other end, keeping his distance as usual.
"So... what do you think about all this?" I ask cautiously, moving my ears in his direction.
He shrugs, his body language denoting some discomfort.
"I don't know what to think, really," he responds frankly. "It's all so... different from what I'm used to."
I nod, fully understanding that feeling. It's like we're both exploring completely uncharted territory.
"Yeah, I get it. It's very foreign to me too," I admit. "But... do you think it could have some value? You know, that whole 'expressing emotions' thing and all that."
Daniel remains silent for a moment, as if meditating on his answer. I can almost picture the gears turning inside his human head.
"Maybe..." he finally mutters. "Although I don't know if I'm ready for something like that. It's... complicated for me, I've had therapies before, but they never really worked out, it makes me uncomfortable because it's more of a routine than anything else, a routine I thought I'd at least get a break from here, but it wasn't the case, although it makes sense, they have a neurodivergent among the program members, so I guess they wanted to make sure I'd behave."
My ears droop slightly as I sense his discomfort. I don't want to push him too much, especially on topics that seem sensitive to him.
"Hey, it's okay," I say in a softer tone. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to. We'll go at your own pace, alright?"
He nods stiffly, though I notice his shoulders relaxing a little. I'm glad I can convey some reassurance.
If someone had told me I'd be reassuring a predator about his own discomfort by being so close a few months ago, I would have laughed in their faces and told them they were crazy, but here I am, telling him everything will be okay.
After a few moments of awkward silence, I decide to break the ice again.
"Hey, Daniel..." I begin slowly. "Can I ask you a question about what the Doctor said?"
He nods stiffly, barely a slight movement of his masked head.
"Sure, what do you want to know?"
I hesitate for a moment, not quite sure how to approach this without seeming intrusive.
"Well, he mentioned something about that 'diagnosis' of yours...a disorder, I think he said. Could you explain a bit more about that?" I ask cautiously. "O-only if you're comfortable with it, of course."
Daniel tenses up even more, I can almost feel his discomfort radiating from his body language. For a moment I fear I've crossed a line, but then he responds in a muted voice:
"It's... complicated to explain. Basically, my brain processes certain information differently than most people's. That makes social interactions, non-verbal language, that kind of thing difficult for me."
I nod slowly, trying to better understand his condition.
"And is that... bad?" I ask with genuine curiosity. "I mean, does it cause you problems or anything?"
He siffly shrugs.
"Sometimes yes, sometimes no. It depends on the situation. In academics and work it's usually an advantage, because I can focus really well on logical, repetitive tasks. But socially... well, let's just say it's not my strong suit."
I observe him closely, noticing how he averts his masked gaze. I can imagine the discomfort and vulnerability he must be feeling opening up like this.
"Hey, you don't have to be ashamed, okay?" I say softly. "I think it's admirable that you can be so honest about it. Most pred- I mean, humans, would probably do everything possible to hide it, right?"
Daniel lets out a slight huff through the mask, a metallic and distorted sound that could almost be mistaken for a bitter laugh.
"Now, I guess not, but it's ironic, don't you think?" he comments with a tinge of bitterness. "In prehistoric times, someone like me might have been abandoned or devoured for not fitting in with the tribe or group.
"But now... well, it seems I might not fit in anywhere at this rate, or maybe I'm exaggerating, but sometimes I don't know what to think. Because I don't want people to see me with pity or as someone who can't fend for themselves. It's messed up, because sometimes they see you in a condescending way, like you need help with everything all the time, when that's not always the case. I want to show the world, or the universe, that I can be myself without needing anyone's help to be me, that I can make it on my own without depending on anyone..."
After an awkward silence, I decide to break the ice again.
"Hey Daniel, I understand you don't like talking much about your... peculiarity," I say carefully. "But I want you to know you don't have to be ashamed of it with me, okay? I don't think any less of you for being... well, different."
Daniel shifts in his seat, his body language still slightly rigid and tense. I can imagine the discomfort he must be feeling, and I don't like it.
"It's not that I'm ashamed, exactly," he responds with apparent caution. "It's just that... sometimes I feel like people look at me with pity, you know? Like I need help with everything, when really most of the time I can fend for myself."
I nod slowly, trying to understand his perspective. I suppose for someone like him, who's probably used to dealing with prejudices and misunderstandings about his peculiarity, it must be frustrating to be treated in a condescending way.
But this time, he breaks the silence.
"Hey... there's something that's been on my mind," he admits hesitantly. "When you said you wouldn't let anyone hurt me, it sounded like you'd gone through a similar experience."
I swallow hard, feeling a lump in my throat. So he noticed. Well, I suppose it was inevitable he'd figure it out sooner or later, considering how perceptive he seems to be.
I guess it's time for me to tell my truth.
\---------------------0
Prologue
First
Previous / Next
Spanish Version (OG Version)

This started off as a comment responding to the debate on whether the Dark Place can truly *create* life, as many people are curious about whether Alan is a creation of or somehow *is* Thomas Zane. Alan Wake 2 tells us that the Dark Place cannot truly create something from nothing - it must nudge reality as it is into the narratives it overwrites reality with. My theory is that this is true, but operates on the premise of conservation, meaning people can be created by the power of Cauldron Lake, so long as a person is taken into the Lake first.
Based on Alan Wake 1, the concept of balance may well be a physical one. We see Alan physically enter the lake in order for Alice to be able to come out. This House of Dreams tells us that Tom and Barbara left their bodies behind. That sounds like enough of a trade off to 'create' the infant child Alan Wake, who would grow into the same body that Tom left behind while being his own person.
Here's some rambling:

• Tom and Barbara go into Cauldron Lake/The Dark Place
• A: The secret universe where Tom and Barbara get to be together is the Dark Place itself. Tom and Barbara begin their own spirals, which eventually cause them to drift apart or lose each other. The Dark Presence consumes their memories as they spiral similarly to what it would do to Alan years later. This is what empowers it to take their forms in all three of the Alan Wake games. Tom never tries to ascend on the Spiral, instead devising a means of escaping the Dark Place by trading places with someone in the Material world. Tom, from within the Dark Place, creates Yoton Yo as a means to 'steer' what happens to the body/potential he left behind. This causes Alan to be born, and his mother to instill the concept of the Clicker within him.
• B: Tom and Barbara do find a way to transcend The Dark Place, similarly to how Casper Darling is able to traverse it. The Dark Presence/Scratch is taking on the role of Zane/Barbara.
• Bright Presence becomes bound to Tom's body, Dark Presences is bound to Barbara's
• Tom's 'body' becomes Alan, carrying the Bright Presence with it. This is possible because Brightness/light represents hope/renewal/imagination-as-possibility
• Barbara's body remains the same and haunts Bright Falls because Darkness/shadow represents internalized feastagnance/imagination-as-horror
• Alan's dreams and interactions with Tom Zane the Diver are due to him being bound to the Bright Presence, similarly to how Jesse Faden has 'conversations' with Polaris
• Alan goes into Cauldron Lake/The Dark place, trading places with Alice
• I think that when you go into the Dark Place (and/or the Astral Plane), you stop being material, your physicality is something that is left over, and is able to be used by The Dark Place to create new things, which is why Alice was able to leave: there was enough 'material' left by Alan's entering the lake to produce her body from the conceptual fabric of the Dark Place itself
• Alan passes the Bright Presence to Alice when she emerges from Cauldron Lake
• Alan begins his own spiral within The Dark Place
• Alice remembers her experiences in The Dark Place after her encounter with the FBC and begins planning to help Alan escape under the influence of the Bright Presence
• Alice is able to channel the Bright Presence into her photography to manifest the Clicker and the Bullet of Light
• Alan is shot with the Bullet of Light, allowing him to finally 'complete' his spiral and ascend on the final coil. I haven't played the Final Draft yet so I don't know if this means he is able to physically leave the Dark Place, or if he just stops being trapped in the spiral.
• Alan is either back in the Material world, or he and Alice are now both inside the Dark Place, with Alan ascended, and potentially with Alice still bound to the Bright Presence. The 'Material Balance' is negative, with one person who can emerge from Cauldron Lake.
• Alan Wake 3 will follow Tom attempting to swap places with an ascended Alan in order to seize the Material Balance and finally emerge from the Lake as himself. It's not clear if his goal was to gain mastery over the potential of the Dark Place/Presence or if the cost of manipulating the power of the Lake has taken this long in order to 'cleanly' fix for himself. Allan will be trying to find Alice within the Dark Place and form a plan to leave together or transcend it the way Casper Darling and Warlin Door can move between realms.
• A wild, off-the-cuff prediction is that Alan and Alice will elect to transcend the Dark Place while thwarting Thomas Zane, causing the birth of a child imbued with the powers of either the Dark, Bright, or a synthesis of both presences from the remaining Material Balance.

Hi everyone! I'm highly considering USMD schools after an unsuccessful Canadian cycle. I feel like the strongest point of my application is my ECs/experiences which seems to be viewed favourably by US schools. I'm planning to submit my primary on May 28th as I know it is rolling admissions.
Any suggestions on schools to add to or to delete from my list would be greatly appreciated! I did NOT take Organic Chem 2 or a second English course, which does limit where I can apply.
Here are my stats and potential school list: GPA: ~3.6 on the OMSAS scale, sGPA probably similar or slightly higher. Strong upward trend (got C’s in first year and A/A+ in third and fourth year)
MCAT: 511 (128/126/128/129)
Clinical Work: aprx. 2500 hours, 2 different clinics and worked since the end of my second year part-time and during the summers full time.
Non-clinical work: ~900 hours as a serveassistant manager at a local restaurant
Clinic Volunteer: ~100 hours in a rural public health clinic and at a university campus vaccine clinic
Shadowing: ~100 hours (Ophthalmology), ~30 hours (Public health clinics)
Non-clinic volunteer: ~100 hours - various university jobs, note taking, academic peer mentor, after school elementary/high school tutoring
Research: ~2500 hours to date, still continuing until the end of August: MSc completed, 1 second author pub, 2 first author pubs in review, anticipate total of 5 pubs by the end of the year (will send update letters), 5 conference presentations (3 10-minute oral presentations, 2 posters), worked in a cardiovascular physiology lab full time for 2 years, supervised 3 undergraduate students thesis project
School List: SUNY Upstate, Wayne State, UofIllinois, Tulane, Virginia Commonwealth U, Michigan State U, Rutgers, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson
Thanks in advance! :)

So this is a theory I have worked on concerning the coins and possession.
We know that Sanya was a former coin holder and he was able to walk away and become a knight. This has always bothered me because how was he able to do it. What's stopping Harry from grabbing a coin, doing a mission, returning the coin and going back to normal like Sanya did?
We do know that if you even touch the coin you get a psychic presense that is nearly impossible to be rid of. After you take the coin in then it becomes much, much more difficult to walk away and even if you manage it there should still be a psychic presense. I don't believe Sanya has any of the Denarian presence inside him. Maybe the sword cleansed it but I don't think it's that simple because Harry had a sword with him for years and could have done the same.
Michael mentioned it was possible to be rid of the shadow but Harry would have to walk away from his Magic. It's never explained why it had to be this way. I believe in order to be rid of the Denarion completely you must sacrifice the inner thing you love most or value most. For Harry it was Magic. If he choose to walk away from his Magic then he would be completely free from the Denarian presence after returning the coin.
On to Sanya. What did he have to sacrifice? He had no magic. He was pure vanilla mortal. What we do know was he had a rough life of rejection and loneliness. He was deeply in love and involved with a female Denarian which was his lure. I think he would have had to sacrifice his ability to love another woman, or be intimate, or to bond romantically with anyone ever again. Love and affection is what he valued and wanted most and in order to fully walk away from that he had to vow to a life of celibacy similar to a Catholic priest.
So my theory is to give up the coin and it's influence completely a person must sacrifice what the value or love most. For Harry it was magic For Murphy it would be the law (later in the series her friendship with Dresden) For Thomas it would be his love for Justine For Butters it would be his curiosity For Sanya it was love, affection, acceptance

Want to cut a few off my school list (aiming to apply to 35-ish schools). I know my activities are mid. If there’s anything I should know about specific schools that may deter me from applying (not OOS-friendly, horrible location, etc) pls lmk (tho I can’t rlly afford to be picky LOL). Thank you for any help!
CA ORM (Asian female)
MCAT: 516 (127/128/131/130)
GPA: 3.97 - sGPA should be within 3.9
Clinical:

• ~300 hospital volunteering,
• 30 health fairs,
• 50+ portraiture for hospital pts (idk if clinical, can put in volunteering?),
• ~100 part-time clinical employment by time of app (will continue full-time during gap year) as MA/scribe

Research:

• ~400 no pub in biochem lab

Shadowing:

• 125+ in-person, multiple specialties

Volunteering:

• 115 art therapy,
• 50+ mentoring elementary kids,
• 15 pen-pal w/ seniors

OtheLeadership

• ~200 in cultural club (2 positions),
• ~90 in pediatrics club (illustrating for books on pediatric illness)

Got feedback on personal statement so it shouldn’t be absolute garbage
School List (currently at 41, wanna apply ~35)

• Albany
• Temple
• Wake Forest
• U of Vermont
• CUSM
• Drexel
• Rosalind Franklin
• George Washington
• Penn State
• New York Medical College
• Eastern Virginia
• UC Davis
  
• U of Illinois
  
• U of Maryland
  
• U of Wisconsin
  
• Geisinger Commonwealth
  
• Albert Einstein
  
• Dartmouth
  
• Kaiser
  
• UC Irvine
  
• UCLA
  
• UCSD
  
• U of Iowa
  
• Rochester
  
• Thomas Jefferson
  
• Tufts
  
• Virginia Commonwealth
  
• U of Miami
  
• Emory
  
• Boston University
  
• Ohio State University
  
• U of Colorado
  
• Hackensack
  
• U of Cincinnati
  
• U Mass
  
• Ohio State
  
• Icahn Sinai
  
• Keck USC
  
• UCSF
  
• Pitt
  
• Hofstra
  

Let's discuss about the five film scores nominated at the Oscars in 2004. Here below you find five different videos for each score.
What's your favourite one and why?
My opinion is that the score of Cold Mountain is very good and that the ones of Big Fish and the House of Sand and Fog are quite good, but the one of the Lord of The Ring is a true masterpiece (one of the best score ever composed).
I don't like so much the score of Finding Nemo.
In the Classic FM Hall of Fame 2024 (competition of classical music) the score of the series "Lord of the Rings" finished in 24th position (on 300 positions). It won against many masterpieces of classical music.

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (Oscar winner, music composed by Howard Shore)

The video, which contains a selection of the best parts of the suite, is structured as follows:
00:00 The Black Gate Opens [main theme]
04:01 Twilight and Shadow
07:32 The White Tree
10:58 The Fields of the Pelenor
14:25 The Return of the King [development of the main theme and final climax]
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) - Score with images - Best parts of the suite (youtube.com)

Big Fish (music composed by Danny Elfman)

The video, which contains a selection of the best parts of the suite, is structured as follows:
00:00 Underwater [main theme]
01:53 The Growing Montage
04:34 The Journey Home
06:46 Man Of The Hour
10:33 End Titles
13:15 Sandra's Theme [final reprise of the main theme with climax]
Big Fish (2003) - Score with images - Best parts of the suite (youtube.com)

Cold Mountain (music composed by Gabriel Yared)

The video, which contains a selection of the best parts of the suite, is structured as follows:
00:00 Ada Plays
03:19 Love Theme
07:00 Anthem
10:24 Ada And Inman [final climax]
Cold Mountain (2003) - Score with images - Best parts of the suite [Gabriel Yared] (youtube.com)

Finding Nemo (music composed by Thomas Newman)

The video, which contains a selection of the best parts of the suite, is structured as follows: 00:00 Nemo Egg (Main Title) [main theme] 01:17 All Drains Lead To The Ocean 02:57 Darla Filth Offramp 05:20 Fish In My Hair! 06:52 Fishing Grounds 08:36 Scum Angel 10:02 Swim Down 11:49 The Turtle Lope 13:56 Time To Let Go 16:11 Frond Like These [final reprise of the main theme with climax]
Finding Nemo (2003) - Score with images - Best parts of the suite on Vimeo

House of Sand and Fog (music composed by James Horner)

The video, which contains a selection of the best parts of the suite, is structured as follows:
00:00 We Have Travelled So Far, It Is Time to Return to Our Path [exposition and development of the main theme]
08:59 Two People
12:49 The Waves of the Caspian Sea [final reprise of the main theme with climax]
House of Sand and Fog (2003) - Score with images - Best parts of the suite [James Horner] - YouTube

This is a poll (battle) for the game Best Nominated Film Scores and it will end on 24 May. You have 7 days to vote.
Click here to read the results of all polls of this competition.
In 2004, five films were nominated for the Oscar "Best Original Score".

Here below you find five videos containing a selection of the best parts of the suites (one video for each score).

The question of this poll is simple: between the five nominated scores, which is your favourite one?

Please, note that you should consider only the original score COMPOSED for the film, so the preexisting pieces of music that you might hear in determined films shouldn't be considered for your evaluation. Thanks to the videos listed here below you ensure to listen only to music which is relevant for this competition.

The videos with the best parts of the suites are typically structured as follows:

• Exposition of the main theme
• Secondary themes
• Final reprise of the main theme with climax

​

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (Oscar winner, music composed by Howard Shore)

The video, which contains a selection of the best parts of the suite, is structured as follows:
00:00 The Black Gate Opens [main theme]
04:01 Twilight and Shadow
07:32 The White Tree
10:58 The Fields of the Pelenor
14:25 The Return of the King [development of the main theme and final climax]
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) - Score with images - Best parts of the suite (youtube.com)
​

Big Fish (music composed by Danny Elfman)

The video, which contains a selection of the best parts of the suite, is structured as follows:
00:00 Underwater [main theme]
01:53 The Growing Montage
04:34 The Journey Home
06:46 Man Of The Hour
10:33 End Titles
13:15 Sandra's Theme [final reprise of the main theme with climax]
Big Fish (2003) - Score with images - Best parts of the suite (youtube.com)
​

Cold Mountain (music composed by Gabriel Yared)

The video, which contains a selection of the best parts of the suite, is structured as follows:
00:00 Ada Plays
03:19 Love Theme
07:00 Anthem
10:24 Ada And Inman [final climax]
Cold Mountain (2003) - Score with images - Best parts of the suite [Gabriel Yared] (youtube.com)
​

Finding Nemo (music composed by Thomas Newman)

The video, which contains a selection of the best parts of the suite, is structured as follows: 00:00 Nemo Egg (Main Title) [main theme] 01:17 All Drains Lead To The Ocean 02:57 Darla Filth Offramp 05:20 Fish In My Hair! 06:52 Fishing Grounds 08:36 Scum Angel 10:02 Swim Down 11:49 The Turtle Lope 13:56 Time To Let Go 16:11 Frond Like These [final reprise of the main theme with climax]
Finding Nemo (2003) - Score with images - Best parts of the suite on Vimeo
​

House of Sand and Fog (music composed by James Horner)

The video, which contains a selection of the best parts of the suite, is structured as follows:
00:00 We Have Travelled So Far, It Is Time to Return to Our Path [exposition and development of the main theme]
08:59 Two People
12:49 The Waves of the Caspian Sea [final reprise of the main theme with climax]
House of Sand and Fog (2003) - Score with images - Best parts of the suite [James Horner] - YouTube
View Poll

The scariest thing about Nothing.. about being Nothing is that nobody remembers. When nothing takes you, it's like you never existed.. till it spits you back out.
Watching the clock at work becomes such a daunting habit. You get so used to the monotony of watching the clock tick away, and somehow the seconds seem to be at an endless supply. Before you know it, the hours are gone, and when you get home it somehow feels as if it all had never happened. Hours of your life so meticulously spent doing just enough now behind you.
Time is so precious because of it's one way trip. You got forward, typical. You got backwards, something for the dreamers.. But Time was different for me today. I think that thing took me.. somewhere else. Like if.. if Time were some straight path, then it pulled me off course.
At 4:37 in the morning I took liberty in shutting off my computer. All things considered, I was running considerably late today. Work was backed up, curtesy of trucking errors. To make a long story short, 4 pallets of produce simply.. vanished. All you'd really need to gather from such meaningless information is that I was suddenly put on the for front of discovering how $5,000 worth of food had somehow grown legs and walked away.
The best answer I had..? None! I had not a clue, and after what felt like hundreds of calls, I was greeted to the warm embrace of humid Georgia air. There were no leads. I was no detective, so the ultimate conclusion of this predicament could be summed up as, "It's not my problem."
All I needed in this moment was to make my way to the bus stop. So, that's exactly what I did. Maybe twelve or so minutes had passed. I was excited to see the bus make it's way around those trees. It was by no means the longest wait, but what can I say? I was a hangry fellow.
I convinced myself that it wasn't my problem, that I wouldn't allow it to be my problem. The unfortunate thing about life is that problems have a tendency to fall into the laps of those who just did as they were told. Now, I'm not one to make some social commentary on the state of the world's general fairness, but the point to be made is my adopted philosophy that unless a problem can't just be brushed off my legs, then I'll leave it to someone else.
So maybe I'm an asshole, maybe I lack integrity, but it's honestly no deeper than "that's how the cookie crumbles." We are all cogs in the world, might as well let one of the other gears have a chance to spin! Make their money's worth.

"Helluva' night, huh?"

I jumped to such a sudden question presented to me. It was a problem, in my lap.
"That obvious?"
I responded sarcastically, looking over my shoulder to be greeted by a young face. Some kid, looked no older than twenty with orange hair and foggy eyes.. eyes that admittedly sent a shiver down my spine. The kind of eyes that.. well, you know how they say a dead person's eyes look cold? It was like that, only I wouldn't describe them as cold. Just.. empty.
"Well between the heavy sigh and tapping foot, just seems like you got somewhere to be."
Whoever this was didn't seem to be looking at me. It was quite uncomfortable that he'd just admit to having analyzed my situation, but perhaps I was looking to far into things. He just had his eyes locked forward, so why he made any effort to speak to me was still unclear. It wasn't unusual for a stranger to try to make light talk during the ride, but something about this kid irked me.
Part of me felt some level of guilt when I stopped the conversation there. I'm not sure if I'm lucky or not to say I think the kid took the hint of my uncomfortably, and for the remaining 20 minutes of the trip he was seemingly preoccupied with staring out the window. It wasn't until I stood upon reaching my stop that he ever seemed to bother looking up.. but not at me.
Again this kid had just stared straight ahead, and even now I couldn't get a great look at his face. His hair seemed to obscure it, and whatever the hair hadn't covered seemed to be so enveloped in shadow to a point that identifying him beyond his hair was seemingly impossible. He was dressed so casually, so casually that detailing his worn black hoodie and faded grey jeans would do no good.
I shook my head.. shook this problem off my shoulders feeling the weight of an unsettling interaction lift from my mind the moment I stepped out of that bus onto the final stretch of pavement between myself and my neighborhood. 5:02 AM
Where is the.. humidity?
I felt a bubbling anxiety, just crossing my arms and lowering my head.. I wanted to hide. My heart was suddenly screaming, and the irrationality of it all hit me like a truck.
"What is wrong.. the hell is wrong?"
I'd confused myself with my emotions, my eyes darting from left to right. Nobody was around me, nobody was behind me, I was alone! So I took a deep breath..
"Helluva' night, huh?"
My eyes shot open, suddenly my heart bounding and my breaths heavy. I know I head him I know I did! But he wasn't here. He was still on the bus, he never got u-..
I turned my head to look in the bus window. The doors screeched, shutting firmly as the bus engine practically roared out into the night. The wheels hummed, the burst of air sounding out as the bus continued motion.
My eyes looked into that window. The window I sat at, where he was next to me.. I was aisle side, he was window side.
He never got up.
He wasn't there.
That was the final straw. I began walking home, speed walking. To hell if anymore problems would fall into my lap. Not this morning, not today! I would get home, I'd climb into bed, and I'd sleep this off. I had to sleep.. I had to go.
"It's not my problem.."
I told myself.
"He moved seats.."
I rationalized the situation. Where did he go? I didn't see him.. He couldn't have just disappeared! Those damn pallets! I did anything I could, fought with my mind to mute my rapid heartbeat. Anything I could think of, any way to distract myself from the fact that the crickets were silent, that the stars weren't out that..
Is something watching me..?
When my house came into view, I wasted no time in fully sprinting to my door, finding my keys and barging that door open, slamming it behind me. I swiftly locked it back. To hell with a shower! I'd be damned if I were too...
"Helluva' night, huh?"
My fully body turned faster than my mind could keep up with. That damned voice!
"GET OUT OF MY HOUS-.."

But I saw nothing.
Let me paint this picture for you. When I say I saw nothing, I mean there wasn't only nobody there, but there was nothing at all. There was no room behind me, no bed, no door, no world. Empty.. empty like his eyes! There was nothing! Nothing but that one.. light.
There was a white orb. It got closer, and closer. I saw a silhouette.. It was some lengthy figure with no arms? And.. its wore this cloak of nothing. Somehow I looked into a place? No.. There was something else behind it..? Not like I'd ever find out!
One second my room, my world, was enveloped with an infinitely spanning nothingness, and in the blink of an eye it was contained into this figure! It took all the nothing!
My room was back! My world! WHAT IS HAPPENING? I don't.. remember.. But then it vanished. The nothingness was gone.
Watching the clock at work becomes such a daunting habit. You get so used to the monotony of watching the clock tick away, and somehow the seconds seem to be at an endless supply. Before you know it, the hours are gone, and when you get home it somehow feels as if it all had never happened.
Hours of my life so meticulously spent doing nothing now behind me.
It's now 3:37 in the afternoon and I remember. I crashed my car, Thomas is dead. His truck is in that ditch back in Duluth.
I remember.
That's why I took the bus.. Thomas is dead. The truck was flipped. 4 pallets gone.
It visited me tonight. Nothing. I saw that boys face, I just can't remember. Nothing.. almost took me today, but I finally understand why they never looked for me. They all forgot me too. I killed Thomas. I didn't mean to but it didn't matter! Everyone knew! It was on the news, it was everywhere! But..
Nothing walked with me tonight.. and you all forgot. You forgot everything.
~I need you to remember me!~
At 3:37 in the afternoon, two months ago, my car collided with Thomas's truck. He'd fallen asleep at the wheel. I was lucky to make it out with my life. The following weeks my story was covered by local news outlets, and the world moved on. That's what happens with Time.. but it was more than that. I'd forgotten what really happened. That boy.. he was with me, in the car, that day. I think.. I think he is the Nothing. I think he IS the.. the Void. He took Thomas.
We.. we all forgot! 4 pallets? Where'd they go? I couldn't remember the funeral! I was gone for three weeks. When I turned around and saw that light, when I came back.. when he left, it had been three weeks. I didn't have a single call! Not from mom, not from work! I was FORGOTTEN!
But.. it's not my problem anymore.
You all really forgot. I got went to mom's and my pictures were gone. Dad's? Same thing. I was gone, for three weeks. Nothing took me. Nothing is.. mad at me? And I don't know why! I was nothing.. someone please! Suddenly I’m back and all the work I left behind is still here. I was gone! The world has proved it. But.. nobody remembers? All the logs! It’s all here. I WAS gone. You can see it in the company finances, yet nobody thought to look for me? Nobody noticed I’m back..? It’s like I never left?
Do any of you remember?!

1991 (Aug. 13, 1991-Dec. 31, 1991):

1. F-ZERO (Launch Title)
   
2. Gradius III (Launch Title)
   
3. Pilotwings (Launch Title)
   
4. SimCity (Launch Title)
   
5. Super Mario World (Launch Title)
   
6. Drakkhen
   
7. Final Fight
   
8. HAL's Hole in One Golf
   
9. HyperZone
   
10. Populous
    
11. Super Bases Loaded
    
12. Super R-Type
    
13. The Chessmaster
    
14. U.N. Squadron
    
15. Ultraman: Towards the Future
    
16. Final Fantasy II
    
17. ActRaiser
    
18. Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball
    
19. Darius Twin
    
20. John Madden Football
    
21. Paperboy 2
    
22. Radical Psycho Machine Racing
    
23. Super Ghouls 'n Ghosts
    
24. Super Tennis
    
25. True Golf Classics: Waialae Country Club
    
26. Super Castlevania IV
    
27. D-Force
    
28. Home Alone
    
29. Lagoon
    
30. Super Baseball Simulator 1.000
    
31. Super Off Road
    
32. The Miracle Piano Teaching System
    

1992 (Jan. 1, 1992-Dec. 31, 1992):

1. Earth Defense Force
   
2. Joe & Mac
   
3. Ys III: Wanderers from Ys
   
4. Nolan Ryan's Baseball
   
5. Super Scope 6
   
6. Super Smash TV
   
7. The Legend of the Mystical Ninja
   
8. Extra Innings
   
9. Lemmings
   
10. PGA Tour Golf
    
11. Pit-Fighter
    
12. Smart Ball
    
13. The Addams Family
    
14. WWF Super WrestleMania
    
15. Contra III: The Alien Wars
    
16. Raiden Trad
    
17. Rival Turf!
    
18. Super Adventure Island
    
19. The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
    
20. Top Gear
    
21. True Golf Classics: Pebble Beach Golf Links
    
22. World League Soccer
    
23. Xardion
    
24. Arcana
    
25. Jack Nicklaus Golf
    
26. Mario Paint
    
27. Romance of the Three Kingdoms II
    
28. Super Soccer
    
29. The Rocketeer
    
30. Garry Kitchen's Super Battletank: War in the Gulf
    
31. Krusty's Super Fun House
    
32. Space Football: One on One
    
33. Super Soccer Champ
    
34. Thunder Spirits
    
35. Clue
    
36. Spanky's Quest
    
37. Street Fighter II: The World Warrior
    
38. Ka-blooey
    
39. Magic Sword
    
40. Rampart
    
41. Soul Blazer
    
42. Strike Gunner S.T.G.
    
43. Super Play Action Football
    
44. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time
    
45. Axelay
    
46. DinoCity
    
47. F1 ROC: Race of Champions
    
48. Faceball 2000
    
49. George Foreman's KO Boxing
    
50. Monopoly
    
51. RoboCop 3
    
52. Roger Clemens' MVP Baseball
    
53. Super Bowling
    
54. Super Mario Kart
    
55. The Simpsons: Bart's Nightmare
    
56. Wheel of Fortune: Featuring Vanna White
    
57. Final Fantasy Mystic Quest
    
58. Battle Clash
    
59. BlaZeon: The Bio-Cyborg Challenge
    
60. David Crane's Amazing Tennis
    
61. Desert Strike: Return to the Gulf
    
62. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
    
63. Hook
    
64. James Bond Jr.
    
65. King of the Monsters
    
66. NCAA Basketball
    
67. Phalanx
    
68. Q*bert 3
    
69. Race Drivin'
    
70. Sküljagger: Revolt of the Westicans
    
71. Space Megaforce
    
72. Super Batter Up
    
73. Super Buster Bros.
    
74. Super Double Dragon
    
75. The Irem Skins Game
    
76. TKO Super Championship Boxing
    
77. Wings 2: Aces High
    
78. Bazooka Blitzkrieg
    
79. Best of the Best: Championship Karate
    
80. Captain Novolin
    
81. Chuck Rock
    
82. Cyber Spin
    
83. Firepower 2000
    
84. GunForce
    
85. Imperium
    
86. John Madden Football '93
    
87. On the Ball
    
88. Out of This World
    
89. Prince of Persia
    
90. Road Riot 4WD
    
91. Road Runner's Death Valley Rally
    
92. Spider-Man and the X-Men in Arcade's Revenge
    
93. Super Star Wars
    
94. Wing Commander
    
95. Wordtris
    
96. X-Zone
    
97. Bulls vs. Blazers and the NBA Playoffs
    
98. Cal Ripken Jr. Baseball
    
99. Chester Cheetah: Too Cool to Fool
    
100. Gemfire
     
101. Goal!
     
102. Gods: The Bitmap Brothers
     
103. Jeopardy!
     
104. Jimmy Connors Pro Tennis Tour
     
105. Lethal Weapon
     
106. Musya
     
107. NBA All-Star Challenge
     
108. NHLPA Hockey '93
     
109. Pro Quarterback
     
110. Push-Over
     
111. Test Drive II: The Duel
     
112. The Magical Quest starring Mickey Mouse
     
113. WarpSpeed
     

1993 (Jan. 1, 1993-Dec. 31, 1993):

1. California Games II
   
2. Power Moves
   
3. The Hunt for Red October
   
4. Uncharted Waters
   
5. Aerobiz
   
6. Cool World
   
7. Dragon's Lair
   
8. Harley's Humongous Adventure
   
9. Hit the Ice
   
10. Shanghai II: Dragon's Eye
    
11. SimEarth: The Living Planet
    
12. Sonic Blast Man
    
13. Super Valis IV
    
14. The Addams Family: Pugsley's Scavenger Hunt
    
15. Tiny Toon Adventures: Buster Busts Loose!
    
16. Doomsday Warrior
    
17. Inindo: Way of the Ninja
    
18. King Arthur's World
    
19. Spindizzy Worlds
    
20. Star Fox
    
21. Super Conflict: The Mideast
    
22. Super Strike Eagle
    
23. Tecmo Super NBA Basketball
    
24. The Combatribes
    
25. American Gladiators
    
26. Batman Returns
    
27. Battle Grand Prix
    
28. Brawl Brothers
    
29. Cybernator
    
30. Fatal Fury
    
31. Outlander
    
32. Street Combat
    
33. Super Ninja Boy
    
34. The Lost Vikings
    
35. The Terminator
    
36. Tom and Jerry
    
37. Toys
    
38. Wayne's World
    
39. Alien³
    
40. Bubsy in: Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind
    
41. Congo's Caper
    
42. MechWarrior
    
43. Shadowrun
    
44. Super Black Bass
    
45. Super Turrican
    
46. Taz-Mania
    
47. Vegas Stakes
    
48. Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego?
    
49. Rock n' Roll Racing
    
50. Run Saber
    
51. B.O.B.
    
52. Battletoads in Battlemaniacs
    
53. Cacoma Knight in Bizyland
    
54. Dungeon Master
    
55. Family Dog
    
56. Kawasaki Caribbean Challenge
    
57. Mario is Missing!
    
58. Pocky & Rocky
    
59. Super High Impact
    
60. The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends
    
61. The Blues Brothers
    
62. The Great Waldo Search
    
63. Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?
    
64. Wolfchild
    
65. WWF Royal Rumble
    
66. Yoshi's Cookie
    
67. E.V.O.: Search for Eden
    
68. First Samurai
    
69. Disney's Goof Troop
    
70. NFL Football
    
71. Nigel Mansell's World Championship Racing
    
72. Super Baseball 2020
    
73. Super James Pond
    
74. Super Slam Dunk
    
75. Final Fight 2
    
76. Street Fighter II Turbo: Hyper Fighting
    
77. Super Mario All-Stars
    
78. Super Slap Shot
    
79. Mortal Kombat: Competition Edition
    
80. Alien vs. Predator
    
81. Boxing Legends of the Ring
    
82. Bram Stoker's Dracula
    
83. Captain America and the Avengers
    
84. Cool Spot
    
85. GP-1
    
86. Mecarobot Golf
    
87. Operation Logic Bomb: The Ultimate Search & Destroy
    
88. P.T.O.
    
89. Plok
    
90. Redline F-1 Racer
    
91. Rocky Rodent
    
92. Super Bomberman
    
93. Super Off Road: the Baja
    
94. Super Widget
    
95. The 7th Saga
    
96. Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends: Adventure Series
    
97. Top Gear 2
    
98. Tuff E Nuff
    
99. Utopia: The Creation of a Nation
    
100. Wing Commander: The Secret Missions
     
101. World Heroes
     
102. Yoshi's Safari
     
103. Zombies Ate My Neighbors
     
104. Aero the Acro-Bat
     
105. Battletoads & Double Dragon: The Ultimate Team
     
106. Capcom's MVP Football
     
107. Cliffhanger
     
108. Daffy Duck: The Marvin Missions
     
109. Family Feud
     
110. Football Fury
     
111. Kendo Rage
     
112. Last Action Hero
     
113. Lock On
     
114. Madden NFL '94
     
115. NBA Showdown
     
116. NHL '94
     
117. Pac-Attack
     
118. Paladin's Quest
     
119. Secret of Mana
     
120. SimAnt
     
121. Sunset Riders
     
122. Super Caesars Palace
     
123. Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
     
124. The Incredible Crash Dummies
     
125. The Ren & Stimpy Show: Veediots!
     
126. The Super Aquatic Games Starring the Aquabats
     
127. The Wizard of Oz
     
128. Troddlers
     
129. True Golf Classics: Wicked 18
     
130. ActRaiser 2
     
131. Disney's Aladdin
     
132. BioMetal
     
133. Championship Pool
     
134. ClayFighter
     
135. International Tennis Tour
     
136. Jurassic Park
     
137. Lamborghini American Challenge
     
138. NHL Stanley Cup
     
139. Out to Lunch
     
140. Pink Goes to Hollywood
     
141. Ranma ½: Hard Battle
     
142. RoboCop Versus The Terminator
     
143. Steel Talons
     
144. Super Battleship
     
145. Super Putty
     
146. Tecmo Super Bowl
     
147. Terminator 2: Judgment Day
     
148. The Lawnmower Man
     
149. Time Slip
     
150. Tony Meola's Sidekicks Soccer
     
151. Total Carnage
     
152. We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story
     
153. ABC Monday Night Football
     
154. Art of Fighting
     
155. Barbie: Super Model
     
156. Battle Blaze
     
157. Battle Cars
     
158. Beethoven: The Ultimate Canine Caper
     
159. Dennis the Menace
     
160. Dig & Spike Volleyball
     
161. F1 Pole Position
     
162. Genghis Khan II: Clan of the Gray Wolf
     
163. Inspector Gadget
     
164. Jim Power: The Lost Dimension in 3-D
     
165. Lufia & the Fortress of Doom
     
166. Mario's Time Machine
     
167. Metal Combat: Falcon's Revenge
     
168. Metal Marines
     
169. Nobunaga's Ambition
     
170. Romance of the Three Kingdoms III: Dragon of Destiny
     
171. Side Pocket
     
172. Soldiers of Fortune
     
173. Super Chase H.Q.
     
174. Super Nova
     
175. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters
     
176. The Adventures of Dr. Franken
     
177. World Soccer '94: Road to Glory
     

1994 (Jan. 1, 1994-Dec. 31, 1994):

1. Brett Hull Hockey
   
2. Choplifter III
   
3. Lester the Unlikely
   
4. Lethal Enforcers
   
5. Mega Man X
   
6. Riddick Bowe Boxing
   
7. Skyblazer
   
8. Super Battletank 2
   
9. Super Solitaire
   
10. Zool: Ninja of the Nth Dimension
    
11. Ardy Lightfoot
    
12. Bill Walsh College Football
    
13. Bugs Bunny: Rabbit Rampage
    
14. Flashback: The Quest for Identity
    
15. Mickey's Ultimate Challenge
    
16. Ninja Warriors
    
17. Pro Sport Hockey
    
18. Sports Illustrated: Championship Football & Baseball
    
19. Super Alfred Chicken
    
20. 1. Super Bases Loaded 2
21. Super Troll Islands
    
22. T2: The Arcade Game
    
23. Turn and Burn: No-Fly Zone
    
24. Winter Olympic Games: Lillehammer '94
    
25. X-Kaliber 2097
    
26. Chester Cheetah: Wild Wild Quest
    
27. Claymates
    
28. Equinox
    
29. Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball
    
30. MLBPA Baseball
    
31. NBA Jam
    
32. Star Trek: The Next Generation - Future's Past
    
33. The Flintstones: The Treasure of Sierra Madrock
    
34. The Peace Keepers
    
35. Wolfenstein 3D
    
36. Young Merlin
    
37. Super Metroid
    
38. Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Eye of the Beholder
    
39. Bébé's Kids
    
40. Champions World Class Soccer
    
41. Dream T.V.
    
42. Fatal Fury 2
    
43. Joe & Mac 2: Lost in the Tropics
    
44. King of Dragons
    
45. Knights of the Round
    
46. Legend
    
47. Liberty or Death
    
48. Mega Man Soccer
    
49. Pinball Dreams
    
50. Rocko's Modern Life: Spunky's Dangerous Day
    
51. SOS
    
52. Super Goal! 2
    
53. Time Trax
    
54. Ultima: The False Prophet
    
55. Wheel of Fortune: Deluxe Edition
    
56. Wizardry V: Heart of the Maelstrom
    
57. Andre Agassi Tennis
    
58. ClayFighter: Tournament Edition
    
59. ESPN Baseball Tonight
    
60. FIFA International Soccer
    
61. Jeopardy! Sports Edition
    
62. Relief Pitcher
    
63. Rex Ronan: Experimental Surgeon
    
64. Space Ace
    
65. Spectre
    
66. Suzuka 8 Hours
    
67. The Pirates of Dark Water
    
68. ESPN SpeedWorld
    
69. Barkley: Shut Up and Jam!
    
70. Capcom's Soccer Shootout
    
71. Championship Soccer '94
    
72. Final Fight Guy
    
73. HardBall III
    
74. Hyper V-Ball
    
75. Jeopardy! Deluxe Edition
    
76. King of the Monsters 2
    
77. Natsume Championship Wrestling
    
78. Operation Europe: Path to Victory 1939-45
    
79. Saturday Night Slam Masters
    
80. Super Street Fighter II: The New Challengers
    
81. The Jetsons: Invasion of the Planet Pirates
    
82. The Ren & Stimpy Show: Fire Dogs
    
83. The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang
    
84. Tommy Moe's Winter Extreme: Skiing & Snowboarding
    
85. Ultimate Fighter
    
86. World Cup USA '94
    
87. Disney's Beauty and the Beast
    
88. F1 ROC II: Race of Champions
    
89. Stunt Race FX
    
90. Super Godzilla
    
91. Breath of Fire
    
92. Aerobiz Supersonic
    
93. An American Tail: Fievel Goes West
    
94. Brain Lord
    
95. Double Dragon V: The Shadow Falls
    
96. Eek! The Cat
    
97. Elite Soccer
    
98. Fighter's History
    
99. Fun 'n Games
    
100. Mr. Nutz
     
101. Tetris 2
     
102. The Adventures of Kid Kleets
     
103. The Death and Return of Superman
     
104. The Incredible Hulk
     
105. Disney's The Jungle Book
     
106. The Untouchables
     
107. Troy Aikman NFL Football
     
108. Kid Klown in Crazy Chase
     
109. Spider-Man and Venom: Maximum Carnage
     
110. Blackthorne
     
111. Illusion of Gaia
     
112. Mario's Early Years: Fun with Numbers
     
113. Michael Andretti's Indy Car Challenge
     
114. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
     
115. Mortal Kombat II
     
116. Obitus
     
117. Pac-Man 2: The New Adventures
     
118. Super Bomberman 2
     
119. Tecmo Super Baseball
     
120. Virtual Bart
     
121. Vortex
     
122. WildSnake
     
123. World Heroes 2
     
124. Final Fantasy III
     
125. Adventures of Yogi Bear
     
126. Disney's Bonkers
     
127. Bubsy II
     
128. Earthworm Jim
     
129. Firestriker
     
130. HammerLock Wrestling
     
131. Indiana Jones' Greatest Adventures
     
132. J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings: Volume 1
     
133. Lord of Darkness
     
134. Mario's Early Years: Fun with Letters
     
135. Math Blaster: Episode 1
     
136. Mickey Mania: The Timeless Adventures of Mickey Mouse
     
137. NBA Live '95
     
138. NCAA Football
     
139. Operation Thunderbolt
     
140. R-Type III: The Third Lightning
     
141. Radical Rex
     
142. Robotrek
     
143. Shaq-Fu
     
144. Shien's Revenge
     
145. Snow White in Happily Ever After
     
146. Sparkster
     
147. Super Adventure Island II
     
148. Super Punch-Out!!
     
149. Super Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
     
150. The Great Circus Mystery Starring Mickey & Minnie
     
151. Disney's The Lion King
     
152. Uncharted Waters: New Horizons
     
153. Donkey Kong Country
     
154. 3 Ninjas Kick Back
     
155. ACME Animation Factory
     
156. Aero Fighters
     
157. Aero the Acro-Bat 2
     
158. Al Unser Jr.'s Road to the Top
     
159. Animaniacs
     
160. Ballz 3D
     
161. Bassin's Black Bass with Hank Parker
     
162. Beavis and Butt-Head
     
163. Cannondale Cup
     
164. Demon's Crest
     
165. Dragon View
     
166. ESPN Sunday Night NFL
     
167. Ghoul Patrol
     
168. Home Improvement
     
169. Jammit
     
170. Jurassic Park Part 2: The Chaos Continues
     
171. Lemmings 2: The Tribes
     
172. Madden NFL '95
     
173. Mario's Early Years: Preschool Fun
     
174. Mary Shelley's Frankenstein
     
175. Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City
     
176. Newman/Haas Indy Car featuring Nigel Mansell
     
177. NHL '95
     
178. Nickelodeon GUTS
     
179. No Escape
     
180. Pitfall: The Mayan Adventure
     
181. Pocky & Rocky 2
     
182. Samurai Shodown
     
183. Sonic Blast Man II
     
184. Speed Racer in My Most Dangerous Adventures
     
185. Stone Protectors
     
186. Street Hockey '95
     
187. Super Bonk
     
188. Super Pinball: Behind the Mask
     
189. The Pagemaster
     
190. The Ren & Stimpy Show: Time Warp
     
191. Tin Star
     
192. TNN Bass Tournament of Champions
     
193. Ultima: Runes of Virtue II
     
194. Ultima: The Black Gate
     
195. WCW SuperBrawl Wrestling
     
196. Wolverine: Adamantium Rage
     
197. WWF Raw
     
198. X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse
     
199. Zero the Kamikaze Squirrel
     
200. Biker Mice from Mars
     
201. Brutal: Paws of Fury
     
202. ESPN National Hockey Night
     
203. GP-1: Part II
     
204. Hurricanes
     
205. Metal Morph
     
206. Micro Machines
     
207. NFL Quarterback Club
     
208. Pieces
     
209. Power Instinct
     
210. Rise of the Robots
     
211. Star Trek: Starfleet Academy – Starship Bridge Simulator
     
212. Street Racer
     
213. Tetris & Dr. Mario
     
214. The Adventures of Batman & Robin
     
215. The Tick
     
216. Tiny Toon Adventures: Wacky Sports Challenge
     
217. Uniracers
     
218. Wario's Woods
     
219. Super Game Boy (if counts)
     

1995 (Jan. 1, 1995-Dec. 31, 1995):

1. A.S.P. Air Strike Patrol
   
2. BreakThru!
   
3. Brett Hull Hockey 95
   
4. Carrier Aces
   
5. ClayFighter 2: Judgment Clay
   
6. Full Throttle: All-American Racing
   
7. Mega Man X2
   
8. Might and Magic III: Isles of Terra
   
9. Pac-In-Time
   
10. Rap Jam: Volume One
    
11. seaQuest DSV
    
12. Tecmo Super Bowl II: Special Edition
    
13. The Ignition Factor
    
14. NBA Jam: Tournament Edition
    
15. Addams Family Values
    
16. The Adventures of Mighty Max
    
17. Brandish
    
18. Kirby's Avalanche
    
19. Kirby's Dream Course
    
20. Looney Tunes B-Ball
    
21. NCAA Final Four Basketball
    
22. Pinball Fantasies
    
23. Rise of the Phoenix
    
24. Spider-Man: The Animated Series
    
25. Super Bases Loaded 3: License to Steal
    
26. The Flintstones : The Movie
    
27. Top Gear 3000
    
28. True Lies
    
29. Bust-A-Move
    
30. Sterling Sharpe: End 2 End
    
31. The Itchy & Scratchy Game
    
32. Warlock
    
33. Fatal Fury Special
    
34. Kyle Petty's No Fear Racing
    
35. Metal Warriors
    
36. Stargate
    
37. The Ren & Stimpy Show: Buckaroo$!
    
38. Timecop
    
39. Ogre Battle: The March of the Black Queen
    
40. EarthBound
    
41. Air Cavalry
    
42. Bass Masters Classic
    
43. Hagane: The Final Conflict
    
44. International Superstar Soccer
    
45. Judge Dredd
    
46. Jungle Strike
    
47. Justice League Task Force
    
48. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie
    
49. Packy & Marlon
    
50. Phantom 2040
    
51. Super R.B.I. Baseball
    
52. The Sporting News: Baseball
    
53. Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story
    
54. King Arthur and the Knights of Justice
    
55. Romance of the Three Kingdoms IV: Wall of Fire
    
56. Tecmo Secret of the Stars
    
57. Wild Guns
    
58. Ninja Gaiden Trilogy
    
59. Chrono Trigger
    
60. Primal Rage
    
61. Batman Forever
    
62. Captain Commando
    
63. Demolition Man
    
64. Killer Instinct
    
65. Speedy Gonzales: Los Gatos Bandidos
    
66. SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron
    
67. DOOM
    
68. Mega Man 7
    
69. Bronkie the Bronchiasaurus
    
70. Castlevania: Dracula X
    
71. Foreman For Real
    
72. Head-On Soccer
    
73. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Fighting Edition
    
74. NHL '96
    
75. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Crossroads of Time
    
76. WeaponLord
    
77. Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island
    
78. Mortal Kombat 3
    
79. Big Sky Trooper
    
80. MechWarrior 3050
    
81. NBA Live '96
    
82. Nosferatu
    
83. Porky Pig's Haunted Holiday
    
84. Secret of Evermore
    
85. Spawn: The Video Game
    
86. Tecmo Super Bowl III: Final Edition
    
87. The Mask
    
88. Madden NFL '96
    
89. AAAHH!! Real Monsters
    
90. Dirt Trax FX
    
91. Doom Troopers
    
92. Earthworm Jim 2
    
93. Emmitt Smith Football
    
94. FIFA Soccer '96
    
95. Frank Thomas Big Hurt Baseball
    
96. International Superstar Soccer Deluxe
    
97. Izzy's Quest for the Olympic Rings
    
98. Jimmy Houston's Bass Tournament U.S.A.
    
99. NBA Give 'N Go
    
100. NFL Quarterback Club 96
     
101. Scooby-Doo Mystery
     
102. Sid Meier's Civilization
     
103. Venom/Spider-Man: Separation Anxiety
     
104. Super Turrican 2
     
105. Urban Strike
     
106. Wild C.A.T.s
     
107. WWF WrestleMania: The Arcade Game
     
108. Boogerman: A Pick and Flick Adventure
     
109. Breath of Fire II
     
110. Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest
     
111. Kawasaki Superbike Challenge
     
112. P.T.O. II: Pacific Theater of Operations
     
113. Revolution X
     
114. Syndicate
     
115. Disney's Toy Story
     
116. War 2410
     
117. Wayne Gretzky and the NHLPA All-Stars
     
118. Zoop
     

1996-1998 (Jan. 1, 1996-Dec. 31, 1998):

1. Final Fight 3
   
2. Mega Man X3
   
3. PGA Tour '96
   
4. Prehistorik Man
   
5. Sink or Swim
   
6. College Slam
   
7. Cutthroat Island
   
8. Frantic Flea
   
9. Mark Davis' The Fishing Master
   
10. The Brainies
    
11. Power Piggs of the Dark Age
    
12. Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
    
13. Ken Griffey Jr.'s Winning Run
    
14. Olympic Summer Games: Atlanta 1996
    
15. Bass Masters Classic: Pro Edition
    
16. Lufia II: Rise of the Sinistrals
    
17. Magic Boy
    
18. Mohawk & Headphone Jack
    
19. Tetris Attack
    
20. Kirby Super Star
    
21. Ms. Pac-Man
    
22. PGA European Tour
    
23. Power Rangers Zeo: Battle Racers
    
24. Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3
    
25. Madden NFL '97
    
26. NHL '97
    
27. Oscar
    
28. Prince of Persia 2: The Shadow and the Flame
    
29. War 3010: The Revolution
    
30. Williams Arcade's Greatest Hits
    
31. Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble
    
32. Marvel Super Heroes in War of the Gems
    
33. Maui Mallard in Cold Shadow
    
34. NBA Hang Time
    
35. Disney's Pinocchio
    
36. SimCity 2000
    
37. Street Fighter Alpha 2
    
38. Whizz
    
39. Casper
    
40. College Football USA '97
    
41. Incantation
    
42. Mr. Do!
    
43. NBA Live '97
    
44. Realm
    
45. FIFA Soccer '97
    
46. Lost Vikings 2
    
47. Harvest Moon
    
48. Brunswick World: Tournament of Champions
    
49. Midway Presents Arcade's Greatest Hits: The Atari Collection 1
    
50. Kirby's Dream Land 3
    
51. Arkanoid: Doh It Again
    
52. Madden NFL '98
    
53. Space Invaders
    
54. Timon & Pumbaa's Jungle Games
    
55. NHL '98
    
56. NBA Live '98
    
57. Frogger
    

Plus, there are 716 Super Nintendo Entertainment System video games in North America.

Hi everyone! I wanted a little feedback my current school list-- I'm only hoping to apply to 35-40 schools so I definitely need to cut this list down. Thanks in advance for the help!
Stats:
GPA: 4.0
MCAT: 517
Current year: Junior (3rd year)
Residence: CA, ORM, first-gen immigrant
Research: 700 hours in a clinical psych lab (2 posters from independent research projects)
Volunteering: Providing resources to unhoused and low-income communities through health literacy club (200 hrs), mentoring first-gen college students (60 hours), tutoring students from underserved schools online (50 hrs)
Shadowing: 70 hours shadowing physicians of different specialties
Clinical: Hospital Volunteer (150 hours), CNA (100 hours)
Extracurriculars/Hobbies: Dance, Professional Fraternity
Paid employment: Barista job before college (300 hours), upcoming job as summer R.A. (400 hours expected)

1. Keck School of Medicine at USC
   
2. Kaiser Permanente Bernard J. Tyson
   
3. California University of Science and Medicine
   
4. University of California - Davis
   
5. University of California - Los Angeles
   
6. University of California - San Diego
   
7. University of California - San Francisco
   
8. University of California - Riverside
   
9. University of California - Irvine
   
10. Stanford University
    
11. Loma Linda University
    
12. Creighton University - AZ
    
13. University of Arizona - Phoenix
    
14. Mayo Clinic - AZ Campus
    
15. Albert Einstein College of Medicine
    
16. Boston University
    
17. Case Western University
    
18. Rosalind Franklin
    
19. Drexel University
    
20. Emory University
    
21. Dartmouth College (Geisel)
    
22. Geisinger Commonwealth
    
23. George Washington
    
24. Georgetown
    
25. Hackensack
    
26. Loyola
    
27. Medical College of Wisconsin
    
28. Oakland University William Beaumont
    
29. Ohio State
    
30. Penn State
    
31. Robert Larner
    
32. Saint Louis University
    
33. Sidney Kimmel Thomas Jefferson
    
34. Tufts
    
35. Tulane
    
36. University of Cincinnati
    
37. University of Colorado
    
38. University of Iowa Carver
    
39. University of Miami Leonard
    
40. UCF
    
41. Lewis Katz at Temple
    
42. Rochester
    
43. USF Health Morsani
    
44. Virginia Commonwealth
    
45. Wake Forest
    
46. Wayne State
    
47. Western Michigan Homer Stryker
    

PC
Reddit Account: FromTheInkpot
Discord Tag: jayonline
Name and House: Tessario of Lys
Age: 28
Cultural Group: Valyrian
Appearance: Taller than the average man, with slender and effeminate features. His skin is pale, his hair consists of curled white locks and his eyes are a vivid lilac. He favours black leathers with silver accents, and often adds coloured silks as sashes, belts, or capes. On the middle finger of his left hand he wears a signet ring of black steel and gold, used to seal letters from the Pearl Bank.
Trait: Marketer
Skill(s): Avaricious (e), Merchantman (e), Broker
Talent(s): Linguistics, Arithmetic, Reading People
Negative Trait(s): Sociopath (non-mechanical)
Starting Title(s): Keyholder of the Pearl Bank, Heir to the blood of Altaerys (secret)
Starting Location: Opening Event
Alternate Characters: N/A
Bio:
Born in the year 4BC, Tessario was the son of a Lyseni courtesan and a nobleman of the Old Blood who had left for the Black Walls of Volantis before he even knew of the child.
Growing up in Lys, Tessario was raised by his mother in a small manse where she would teach him lessons learnt from the courts of the free city.
Since his mother first spoke to him tales of Valyria and dragon riders, Tessario was enthralled.
His bloodline was of the forty families, from one of the few dragonlords on Lys during the 'Night of Tears', when the dragonlords had been poisoned and their dragons slain by their very hosts - the magisters. That the dragon rider had been his ancestor was his family's deepest secret and one that could have seen them killed in generations past.
The knowledge that the dragon riders of old were his very ancestors was almost too much for the young boy to keep secret. Especially now, when dragons had waged conquest on Westeros' shores so recently. But while the Targaryen's were said to wed brother to sister to keep their bond with the dragons strong, his family had not had a dragon rider in five generations. Since then his family's bloodline - the house of Altaerys, thought lost in the Doom of Valyria and the Century of Blood since, had become clouded with the Old Blood of Volantis during their occupation of Lys. And before that, diluted among the courts of Lys the Lovely, where none truly knew or at least none spoke of how much dragon blood they had. It was clear most of Lys had some. The features of silver-blond or white hair and the eyes of pale blue or shades of purple were all too common. The city was truly Valyrian. Who knew how many dragonlords' legacies his blood carried now?
Tessario, with his pure Valyrian blood and features to match, had the fiery will of his ancestors but an uncommonly pragmatic mind. As he grew, so did his keen mind, picking up his numbers and letters faster than other boys his age.
Raised in the turbulence of a city still reeling from the uprising against Volantis, Tessario learnt how violent people could be at a young age. Surrounded by the cruelties of slavery, he grew up numbed to the hardships of others.
By nine name-days he would begin visiting the Temple of Trade where he and other boys would talk with the magisters and tradesmen who congregated there. From among these wealthy and noble men of the city, he and a lucky few others, would gain apprenticeships; a position that was highly coveted in the city of Lys, where trade was considered a profession more honorable than arms.
Tessario shadowed his sponsor for three years, learning the inner workings of trade negotiations, currency exchange, and contract creation. He met several other apprentices who like him hungered for more, as well as making friends among the less prominent families of Lys all too keen to climb the social ladder. So, when his apprenticeship was over they formed a merchantile group of ambitious youths. Tessario and the others began with insurance cons and profitable arbitrage that filled their pockets and funded bigger schemes.
The war in the Stepstones came as a wondrous opportunity for the newly founded group. The members invested heavily, with some overseeing the battles themselves. Luckily the Lysene forces met up with not only those of Tyrosh, but also ships from Dorne and the Stormlands. Tessario wore armour for the first time as he sailed sellswords to the fighting, though did no more than watch in actuality. War made them rich and for the first time in his life Tessario knew what it was to wield true power. The power to make others die for your ends.
The pirate threat crumbled easily, but the true prizes were had after the fighting. Contracts for trade opened up and new ports to invest in saw the merchantile group grow faster than ever before. They hired lingering hedge knights and sellswords to protect their assets and even convinced some of the former pirate vessels to become corsairs under them.
As the Stepstones begin to flourish, the group started to look further afield for other trade routes. In 18AC, just as Dorne began to invest heavily in Sunstone, Tessario sailed to Driftmark as one of three emissaries of their group tasked with finding new avenues for profit. It was while on this mission that Tessario first met Valarr Velaryon, Lord of the Tides. Seeking a base of operations outside of Lys, Tessario negotiated plans for a bank to be built in Spicetown, profiting from the flow of trade.
Tessario broached the concept to the group telling them of the pearls found by fishermen in the pools of the island's coves and a contract for the Pearl Bank was drawn up. Tessario, as one of the two-and-twenty key holders, was now responsible for much.
Construction began in late 19AC with a main building that was reinforced with strong stone and deep vaults. Pearl farms under the control of the bank were also created, with construction of the entire project finishing before the end of 24AC. During this time the bank engaged in numerous amounts of trade, amassing a full vault, as well as funding loans to the many growing businesses of Spicetown, merchants of the free cities, and other Houses of Westeros. This includes House Massey of Stonedance, House Celtigar of Claw Isle, and many other minor houses.
Timeline:

• 4BC - Tessario is born in a Lysene manse.
• 6AC - Begins a trade apprenticeship for three years.
• 9AC - Forms a merchantile group in Lys.
• 12AC - Funds the war in the Stepstones.
• 13AC - War in the Stepstones ends.
• 18AC - Visits Driftmark as an emissary, meeting Valarr Velaryon.
• 19AC - The Pearl Bank begins construction.
• 24AC - Construction is completed.
• 25AC - Current day.

Family tree:
https://familyecho.com/?p=START&c=izpgpsokcmwmhxa6&f=478495015333730745
AC
Name and House: Somovo Saan
Age: 21
Cultural Group: Valyrian
Appearance: Piercing blue eyes shine out from dark features. Somovo has a lean build and freckled face from years of sailing the Narrow and Summer Seas. Her skin is dark and her hair falls in long brown curls down past her shoulders, the occasional braid holding beads of copper. She often wears loose shirts and wide breeches that allow her skin to breathe the salty air of the sea, while sticking to practical leather boots for moving about the deck.
She has a slender black cat named Sȳndor 'shadow' that lives on deck and prowls the bank offices while on shore.
Trait: Reaver
Skill(s): Raider, Fence, Tactician
Talent(s): Winning at Tiles, Tying knots, Swimming
Negative Trait(s): N/A
Starting Title(s): Captain of the Spice Runner
Starting Location: Opening Event
Alternate Characters: N/A
Timeline:

• 4AC - Somovo Saan is born in Lys.
• 9AC - Somovo's father, Sarthos Saan, takes her on her first voyage to Tyrosh.
• 12AC - Her father leaves to fight for the pirates in the Stepstones war.
• 13AC - After the pirates defeat in the Steptones, her father is hired by a group of merchants from Lys. Somovo meets Tessario, one of the groups founders.
• 18AC - Meets the sellsail Captain Laurei of Myr who becomes an inspiration for her to become a Captain of her own ship.
• 19AC - When the Pearl Bank begins construction on Driftmark, Somovo is on deck with her father and they patrol the Narrow Sea together, guarding trading vessels and seeking opportunities for their new employer.
• 21AC - Somovo is given command of her own ship and crew, becoming Captain of The Spice Runner, named after Spicetown.
• 22AC - Her father's ship is lost at sea during a storm near Volantis. The corsairs previously under Sarthos turn to her for leadership by virtue of her blood.
• 24AC - Construction of The Pearl Bank is completed on Driftmark.
• 25AC - Current day.

NPCs
Morio (30) - Cutthroat
Every man of ambition needs a ruthless and silent right hand.
Ser Thomas Storm (27) - Warrior
Knighted by Ser Edwell Celtigar in the Stepstones and knowing he would gain no further gold or glory, he joined the merchantile group from Lys to train their retainers and act as Captain of the Guard to Tessario.
Since then he notably won the joust at the Tourney at Aegon's Rest in 21AC.

Hi all! Help me clear out my life of backups and samples I'll never use. Hopefully you'll find a new HG or something you've always wanted to try in my stash. I've priced everything to sell and do feel the prices are fair and low but of course I'm willing to bundle. The prices are based off what I actually paid for the products, not the retail price. I buy most things on sale and you'll get a discount on top of what I paid.

• Shipping is $5 for 4oz, $10 flat for anything over 1lb
• My home is smoke free home in CA. I have a dog that has no access to my room where my makeup and skincare is stored
• Payment via paypal goods and services. I cover fees
• I will only ship to the address on file with paypal, so please make sure your shipping address is correct when paying.
• First come, first serve. I'll hold request for 2hrs and then move on to the next in line
• $6 minimum per order

Makeup

Eyeshadow Verification: https://imgur.com/a/EEtDTYL

• Colourpop You Had Me At Hello (Used 1-2x) $10
• Bobbi Brown Long Wear Cream Eyeshadow Stick Dusty Mauve & Golden Pink (BNIB) (FS $16, MS $8)
• MAC Paints Bamboom (BNIB) $7
• MAC Eyeshadow All that Glitters (BNIB) $8
• Bare Minerals Gen Nude Eyeshadow Palette Rose (Used x2) $10
• Too Faced Better Than Chocolate (BNIB) $15
• Smashbox Covershot Ablaze Eyeshadow Palette (BN) $10
• Colourpop Sorbet Eyeshadow (Used x2) $4
• Clarins Palette 4 Couleurs 2 Rosewood (Used x2) $13
• Makeup by Mario Glam Quads Party Glam, Bronzey Glam & Rosey Glam (swatched) $8 each or $20 for 3
• Colourpop Colourstix Warm Up (Swatched x2) $3
• Eyeko Double Stack Eyeshadow Stick Dusk/Dawn (BINB plus sharpener) $4
• Bobbi Brown Rich Color Eye Shadow Royale 8 (Light Useage) $5
• MAC Single Eyeshadows Twink x2 (BNIP) $4 each
• Catrice Liquid Metal Eyeshadow Mauves like Jagger, We are the Champagnes & Under Treasure (light use) $6 for all 3

Base Products Verification: https://imgur.com/a/YB476xo

• Bobbi Brown Vitamin Enriched Face Base mini .24oz $8
• Becca Light Catcher Finishing Veil 01 Scattering (BNIB) $8
• Covergirl Clean Fresh Skin Milk 340 Light (BN) $5
• Georgette Klinger Marula Primer (BN) $5
• Too Faced Born This Way Powder Translucent (BNIB) $11
• Makeup Forever Mist & Fix Hydrating Setting Spray mini 1oz (BNIB) $6

Blush/HighlighteBronzer Verification: https://imgur.com/a/jhbuklM

• Natasha Denona All Over Glow 1 Light (Swatched x1) $10
• Tarte Amazonian Clay Waterproof Bronzer Park Avenue Princess (Lightly Used) $8
• Benefit Dandelion Twinkle Highlighter mini (BN) $9
• Milani Baked Blush Belle Amore (Swatched x1) $6
• Wet n Wild Pac Man Power Pellets Blushlighter (Swatched x1) $4
• NYX Matte Bronzer Medium (Swatched x1) $5
• Sleek Blushes Pixie Pink (Swatched x1) $4
• Grande Glow Plumping Liquid Highlighter (BN) $5
• Laritzy Cosmetics Cream Highlighter Virtue (BNIB) $4
• The Beauty Crop Blush Duo Mauve-lous (BNIB) $3
• Topshop Cream Blushes Flush (Light usage) $2 or free with purchase of 2 or more items
• Ciate Bamboo Bronzer Palm Island (Swatched x1) $5

Eyeliners/Mascaras/Brows Verification: https://imgur.com/a/RmvE8EM

• Sephora Retractable Brow Pencil 05 Neutral Grey Brown (BNIP) $9
• Makeup Forever Brow Gel (BNIB) $5
• Tynt Smokey Eye Pencil Pinot Noir (BNIB) $3
• Mally Beauty Gel Waterproof Eyeliner Onyx (BNIB) $3
• Ciate Fierce Flicks Precise Pro Tip Liquid Liner Black (BNIB) $5
• Clinique Quickliner deluxe size (BN) $3
• Clinique High Impact Mascara full size (BN) $8
• Tarte Maneater Mascara Black (BNIB) $9
• Wander Beauty Upgraded Lashes Treatment Mascara (BN) $8
• Too Face Damn Girl Mascara Travel Size (BNIB) $5
• Tynt Brow Definer Brunette (BNIP) $2
• Tori Belle Cosmetics Magnetic Eyeliner and lashes (BNIB) $5

Lips Verification: https://imgur.com/a/3Kgc3YS

• Lancome Juicy Tubes 02 Spring Fling & 07 Magic Spell (BNIB) $10 each
• Patrick Starrr Lip Snatcher Lip Liner Outta Line (BN) sold
• MAC Love Me Lipstick Under the Covers (BNIB) $9
• MAC Lip Pencil Subculture (BNIB) $10
• Clinique Chubby Stick melon (BNIB) $7
• Bobbi Brown Crushed Lip Color Angel, Sunset & Grenadine (BNIB) $14 each
• Bobbi Brown Luxe Lip Color Mini Neutral Rose (BNIB) $7
• Bobbi Brown Crushed Lip Gloss Free Spirit (BN) $14
• Bobbi Brown Extra Lip Tint Born Nude (BNIB) $12
• Laura Mercier Creme Smooth Lip Color Palm Beach (Swatched x1) $6
• Anastasia Matte Lipstick deluxe size Dead Roses (BNIB) $3
• Visee Lip Oil 002 Hold Me (BNIB) $9
• Nars Lip Gloss mini Priscilla (BN) $2
• Saint Luxe Lip Liner Duo (BNIB) Free with Purchase
• True Lucsious Super Moisture Lipstick Vintage Rose (BNIB) Free with Purchase
• Laura Geller Color Lustre Lip Gloss (BN) $5

Skincare Verification: https://imgur.com/a/TfQlafY

• Estee Lauder Revitalizing Supreme+ Moisturizer and Youth Power Soft Creme 2.5oz (BNIB) $45
• Origins Charcoal Face Mask (BN) $10
• I'm From Rice Mask (BNIB Exp 12/25) FS $15, minis $4 each
• Klairs Freshly Juiced Vitamin E Mask (BNIB Exp 6/25) $4
• Charlotte Tilbury Magic Cream .5oz (BNIB) $15
• Paula's Choice Hyaluronic Acid + Peptide Lip Booster (BNIB) $14
• Innisfree Pore Clearing Clay Mask (BNIB) $8
• Saturday Skin Yuzu Vitamin C Bright Eye Cream (BNIB) $15
• Kate Somerville Goat Milk Moisturizing Cream (BNIB) $15
• Klairs Midnight Blue Calming Cream (BNIB Exp 2/25) $20
• 111Skin Rose Gold Radiance Booster (BNIB) $18
• Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair Eye Concentrate Matrix (BNIB) $25
• I'm From Pear Serum (BNIB Exp 9/24) $18
• Rovectin Skin Essentials Activating Treatment Lotion (BNIB Exp 10/23) $10
• Wishtrend Quad Active Boosting Essence (BNIB Exp 12/23) $12
• Mudmask Eye Cream (BN) $11
• MudMask Blue Clay Mask (BN) $5
• Alpha H Liquid Gold 100ml (BNIB) $17
• Clinique Moisture Surge 2.5 oz (BNIB) $25
• Shani Darden Retinol Reform 10ml (BNIB) $6
• Biossance Squalane Marine Algae Eye Cream (BNIB) $15
• Tower 28 SOS Daily Rescue Spray 1oz (BN) $5
• Fenty Beauty Total Cleansr Makeup Removing Cleanser Mini 1.5oz (BN) $4
• Dermelect Self Esteem Beauty Sleep Serum (BNIB) $9
• AHC Essential Real Eye Cream for Face (BNIB) $8
• 111 Skin Nocturnal Eclipse Recovery Cream Mini .5oz (BNIB) $5
• Akar Restore Eye Serum (BNIB) $16
• Barbor Hydra Plus Hydration Ampoule Concentrates (BNIB) $10
• Derma E Advanced Peptides & Collagen Serum .5oz (BNIB) $8
• Symbiosis London Tightening and Replenishing Eye Mask (BN) $10
• The Body Shop Drops of Youth Liquid Peel (BNIB) $8
• French Girl La FLore Botanical Serum (BNIB) $6
• Good Molecules Niacinamide Serum (BNIB) $3
• Ulta Skincare Watermelon Refresh Sleeping Mask (BNIB) $4
• Exuviance Sample Bundle: $8
  • Deep Clean AHA Cleanser
  • Glycolic Expert Moisturizer
  • A.G.E. Less Everyday Moisturizer
  • Overnight Transforming Complex
• Peach and Lily Sample Bundle: $15
  • Glass skin face polisher
  • Glass skin refining serum
  • KP Bump Boss Microderm Body Serum
  • KP Bump Boss Smooth Body Lotion
  • Power Calm Hydrating Gel Cleanser 1oz
  • Match Pudding Antioxidant Cream .84oz
• Acne Sample Bundle: $10
  • Cerave Foaming Facial Cleanser
  • Origins Checks and Balances
  • Proactive Green Tea Moisturizer
  • Sephora Clean SKin Gel
  • Vichy Acne Control Daily Moisturizer
  • Purity Pore Extractor Clay Mask
  • Ulta Pore Strips (8pack)
  • Thayers Witch Hazel Facial Toner
• Anti-Aging Sample Bundle: $10
  • L'Oreal Age Perfect Midnight Serum
  • Keys Let Me Glow Illuminating Serum
  • Lancome Genifique
  • Shiseido Benefiance Eye Cream
  • Tony Moly Plump-kin Retinol Eye Cream
  • Bare Minerals Skinlongevity Serum
  • Pat Mcgrath Divine Skin The Essencw
  • Love Wellness Call Me Collagen x2
• Lux Sample Bundle $10
  • Estee Lauder Nutritious Melting Soft Mask
  • Peter Thomas Roth Ultimate Solution 5 Multitasking Moisturizer
  • Fresh Black Tea Age Renewal Cream
  • Sunday Riley Afterglow
  • Perricone MD Growth Factor Firming & Lifting Serum
  • Dermalogica Biolumin-C Serum
  • Dior Dream Skin Skin Perfector
• Moisturizer Sample Bundle $10
  • Ulta Beauty Honey Miel Peel Off Mask
  • It Cosmetics Confidence in a Cream x3
  • Vichy Normaderm BHA Exfoliating Serum
  • Proactiv Renewing Cleanser
  • Philosophy Purity Clay Mask
  • Vichy Liftactiv B3 Serum
  • Mario Badescue Facial Spray with Aloe Herbs and Rosewater
  • Belif The true Cream Moisturizing Bomb
  • Kylie Skin Face Moisturizer
  • Clinique Dramatically Different Hydrating Jelly
  • N07 Future Renew Damage Reversal Serum

Other Verification: https://imgur.com/a/jgUpId

• Eyeko Eyelash Curler (BNIB) $5
• Bobbi Brown Eye Blender Brush (BNIP) $9
• L'Occitane Hand Cream 1oz (BN) $5
• Body Care Sampler $12
  • Mario Badescu Coconut Body Butter
  • Mario Badescu Coconut Body Scrub
  • Dionis Goat Milk Body Lotion
  • Dionis Hand & Body Goat Milk Cream
  • Crepe Erase Body Firm
  • Hempz Body Moisturizer Ocean Breeze
  • Mega Babe Space Bar Detoxifying Underarm Bar x2
  • Osea Undaria Cleansing Body Polish
  • Crepe Erase Body Smooth Pre Treatment
  • Ulta Beauty Coconut Cream Scented Body Lotion
• Perfume Deluxe Size Bundle 5 for $25
  • Victor and Rolf Good Fortune
  • Commodity Paper
  • Ralph Lauren Ralph's Club
  • Armani Aqua di Gioia
  • Lancome Idole
• Burberry Her Eau de Parfum 1.0oz + Deluxe size dabber (BNIB) $50
• Moschino Fresh Couture Eau De Toilette 1.7oz (Sprayed x2) $30
• Clinique Happy Perfume 1.0oz (BNIB) $20
• Maison Margiela Replica Springtime in a Park 3.4oz (BNIB) $60
• Maison Margiela Replica On a Date .34oz (BNIB) $15
• Mugler Alien Goddess Supra Floral .34oz (BNIB) $11

ISO List:- Try me on Suqqu Eyeshadows and Blushes- Charlotte Tilbury Eyeshadows

Believed to be from the planet Tawar Sim, a world cloaked in the mysteries of the ancients, lives the legend of Bloodstar. His true name, lost to the ages, becoming known simply by the celestial emblem that adorns his chest—a star bleeding with the promise of justice.
On Earth, he is Thomas Scott, an attorney bound by the law, a man of integrity walking the hallowed halls of justice. His voice resonates in courtrooms, fighting for truth with the might of his words. Yet, beneath this facade of normalcy, a profound secret simmers.
As the sun sets, giving way to the embrace of night, Thomas Scott sheds his earthly identity and becomes Bloodstar, the unrelenting vigilante and hunter whose name echoes through the darkened alleys of earth, sending fear down the spines of the criminals and the Sypree alike.
Many years ago, Bloodstar's arrival on Earth was not a mere chance but a purposeful quest. He hunts the Sypree, a parasitic species whose notoriety for cunning and bloodshed is known across galaxies. These interstellar predators, now lurking in the shadows of our world, have become his prey.
Yet, as he delved into the depths of Earth's own battles with injustice, Bloodstar found more than just his targets. He found humanity—flawed, resilient, and capable of great kindness. This revelation softened the cosmic hunter's heart, and he began to see Earth as more than just a hunting ground.
Armed with weaponry that is light years more advanced than our own, Bloodstar stands as a sentinel watching over a city, unaware of the dangers that stalk in the darkness. His methods are meticulous and brutal, his resolve unyielding and unwavering. For Bloodstar, the dedication to the hunt is eternal.

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Time seemed to pass much quicker when Ghrruk and I were swimming together, finding small insects or algae to eat, and sleeping in the same place by nightfall. It was strange at first, but I felt safer. As if teamwork made us stronger.
Our front legs started to grow a few weeks after the attack. I was surprised to see Ghrruk’s lost leg regrowing too. It was still a stump, but a little longer.
“Do you think it’ll regrow entirely?” I asked her.
“I hope so. I’m the only one with a missing leg.”
“There are a few others whose legs have been damaged by the predators, though.”
Ghrruk’s tail drooped a little. “I’d rather have a damaged leg than a stump. At least they have a chance that it’d heal…”
“Maybe yours will heal as well. I’ve been looking at it lately and I’m certain it’s growing back.”
“Or maybe our bodies are simply becoming larger. And so does the stump.”
She was quite negative when it came to her leg, even though she saw our future, and Thomas, in a very positive light. Speaking of which, Thomas did install a defense of sorts above our home to protect us from predators. It worked because we hadn’t been bothered since.
THUMP – THUMP – THUMP
Speaking of the human…
“Thomas!”
Ghrruk immediately swam up. She wasn’t as graceful as before her tail started to shrink. The main reason, though, was that she was kicking water with one leg, which made her veer slightly to the left. It was almost unnoticeable. Any other tadpole would think it was the usual way she swam.
She really likes him, I thought, following her from a distance. My trust issues weren’t completely gone. My trip inside the jar had left quite its mark.
Small red worms swirled down and all the other tadpoles frantically ascended to fill their bellies. I did as always, staying a little below the rest, catching whatever came through.
Funny how they trusted Thomas, yet slurped, expelled, and then slurped again on the worm, likely examining the worm to make sure it’s actual food.
“Oh. Oh! Look at you!” Thomas exclaimed. “Some of you have front legs! You’re becoming actual frogs. Amazing!”
Thomas’ face descended so close to the water his nose almost dipped in it. Most tadpoles scattered away in fright, before curiosity – and food! – got the better of them and compelled them return to peek at their savior. I was certain he was looking for me so.
“Ah! Ghost! There you are! Wait a minute.”
The moment he uttered my name I dived down.
Thomas stood up and left. Ghrruk came swimming back to me in swift leg bursts.
“Why do you think he left? He usually stays longer, telling us stories,” she said.
“I don’t know but I don’t have a good feeling about this. I think I’m going to hide behind a rock or something.”
As expected, when Thomas returned, he held a stick of sorts and was looking for something – me! But I had a few good hiding places. It had taken a lot of effort to dig up dirt and arrange things on the bottom.
He tried to catch me with that stick again and again, stirring the bottom of the pond in order to find me. Unlike previous attempt, he didn’t linger for too long, where he’d be waiting for me to take a few gulps of breath. Whatever he tried to achieve, it didn’t seem that important to him. Or maybe he grew tired a lot quicker than the first time he saw me and my peculiarity.
Days turned into weeks, and slowly but surely, we had all grown our forelegs. Our tails were also shrinking, forcing us to adapt a new swimming technique. And best of all, I could distinguish tiny knobs poking out of Ghrruk’s lump, sign that her toes were growing back.
“See,” I said, undulating the end of my tail rapidly, “your leg is growing back!”
“I’m not so sure...”
“It’s really there. I know you can’t see it, but I can. Why won’t you believe me?”
“Because it feels completely different than how it was before. When I walked out of the pond, I could feel every toe on my right leg. My left was just… weird.”
A few bubbles left my mouth.
“Wait, when you what?”
“Walked out of the pond.”
“When did you… how did you walk out of the pond?”
I was so surprised, even though I had seen other tadpoles, or rather, froglets, climb up and out. But that wasn’t reason enough to follow them. I never even thought about it, what with all those predators out there. And let’s not forget Thomas.
“A few days ago,” she said, her body wobbling excitedly. “You were busy digging the sediment to improve our hiding spots, as usual, and when I noticed a fellow froglet clambering out, I wanted to take the leap myself.”
A stream of bubbles left my mouth.
“You went out of our home? To do what? Get killed? Wasn’t losing one leg enough?”
Ghrruk’s kicked her hind legs, floating right in front of me.
“That leg wasn’t my fault,” she declared, her tiny front legs making an abrupt, agitated movement. “I did what everyone else did. You are the weird one, always wishing to hide deep inside our pond, spending countless hours digging in the depths. Don’t you feel the urge to leave? To explore? To have a glimpse what is beyond the water?”
“Maybe later. Now, I want to avoid Thomas. And the predators.”
She slowly drifted backwards, creating some distance between us both.
“Then, we will have to go our separate ways. Thomas is our savior and the outside is safe. Hasn’t he told us that this place is like our pond? Encompassed in such way that we can’t leave but also that others can’t come in? Why won’t you trust him?”
“I guess it’s in my nature not to trust humans.”
Ghrruk blew a few bubbles out. Her mouth gaped open and close, as if she was gasping for air. I knew I had infuriated her.
“Well, I trust him. I have also needs. My body desires to leave this place and find… whatever I need to find.” She twirled in place. “Ghost. See you around.”
Ghrruk sprung her hind legs hard against the water, darting away for the surface. I trailed her until she climbed out of the pond.
Why does she have to do this now?
I carefully popped my head above the water, observing Ghrruk clambering out. Without even glancing behind her, she clumsily snuck between the blades of grass and she was gone.
“Ghrruk? Ghrruk!” I called.
No answer came. Other froglets were following her lead. I decided to dive down to the comfort of my hiding place near the plants, which had grown considerably since the attack. There, I pondered about Ghrruk, about Thomas, about the meaning of my life, and what I ought to do, leaving only for food or air.
During that period, Thomas came and went, unlike Ghrruk, who I didn’t see again. She was gone.
Sometimes, when I ascended, I broke the water to check whether Ghrruk was somewhere around the edge of the pond. All I could see were other froglets, sitting immobile in the shadow, waiting patiently for no apparent reason.
Each day, more froglets left the pond. Of course, they ended up returning. But the murky waters had never felt so lonely. Loneliness. A sense that had never occurred to me. Not before Ghrruk. Thinking about her made me anxious, constantly wondering where she went, and how often she returned to the pond. I was certain she did return, except she never came back to my place, so there was always that possibility... I could only hope she didn’t get eaten.
Then, one day, when my tail had shrunk a bit more and most of my brethren’s color changed from black with tiny specks of brown to a lighter color with larger specks, sometimes even a hue of green, my entire body tingled. A curious sensation, an impulse akin to Ghrruk’s.
This call of nature drove me to the sand bank that Thomas had built on the edge of the pond to let the froglets leave easier. Initially, I thought it was a trick to catch me. But then I realized that it was a lot of effort just for me, and thought he was simply trying to help us, as he has always done.
Ghrruk was right, a voice whispered inside.
My tiny head and eyes popped above the water. No sign of Thomas. I kicked my legs, a new form of swimming that was much faster than the tail undulation, until I set foot on the sand bank. I was about to leave our home. My tiny heart was racing.
Grains of sand stuck to my body. It was a small hindrance, but nothing that would impede my will to find out what was beyond. With a few awkward steps, advancing leg by leg, I arrived at the edge of the grass.
Maybe I will meet Ghrruk today? Mayb – aaah!
“Gotcha, Ghost!”
Thomas!? Why didn’t I hear him come?
My entire body was stuck between his two fingers, so small I was.
“Exactly as I thought! Your eyes. They’re red! They don’t look evil or anything. They’re just… red. That’s so weird.”
If I could’ve screamed, I would have. I attempted to squeeze myself out, but the force of his fingers was far beyond my ability to do anything. My legs were the only thing squirming in place.
“You know what? I think you deserve a new name. A better one.”
Another name? It can’t be much worse than “Ghost”.
“To be honest, I never really liked your name. I know, I’m the one who gave it to you, but it felt a little hollow. Too… translucent, if you know what I mean.”
Thomas chuckled, which scared me even more.
“Hmmm… ‘Red’ is too plain so let’s call you Carmine.”
That’s worse!
“Yes, Carmine sounds good. Do you know what it means?”
I don’t care, I just want to return to the tranquility of my pond and never leave it ever again!
“Carmine’s a Latin name that means ‘Song’. At least, that’s what my teacher told me. It’s also the name of a red color. Slightly deeper than crimson red, though I’m not gonna name you Crimson, right? Besides, Carmine is fitting for you.”
His hand suddenly moved towards his mouth. I was panicking, certain he’d gulp me down and that’d be the end of me. I was completely helpless, unable to get out of his strong grasp, rapidly advancing towards the two red bulges, widening into a circle until –
Smack.
My snout grazed his moist mouth and he inexplicably moved his hand back to where it was, with me still stuck between two fingers in the middle of the void.
“You’re adorable, Carmine. I hope you’ll sing a lot of beautiful songs once you get your frog voice.”
Another shadow loomed over me. Another human.
Thomas’ father? Oh no…
If being scared of what Thomas just did wasn’t enough, the human who detests me had arrived. From our very first encounter, I always felt uncomfortable whenever he was near. Likely because his first advice upon seeing me was to flush me down the drain – whatever that may be.
“Again with that disgusting thing. Throw it away, will you?” he growled.
“Why do you hate this frog so much? It’s such a cute thing. Look at it!”
“Yeah. It looks like piece of mold.”
“What? Because it’s white?”
“If I found that in the kitchen I wouldn’t touch it with my bare hands. Why won’t you just discard it? You’ve got hundreds of healthy frogs. Why are you so obsessed with this one in particular?”
“Maybe because Carmine’s a peculiar frog.”
“Carmine?” His whole body leaned back as he frowned. “Didn’t you name it Spooky or something like that?”
Thomas sighed and his eyes rolled. “No, dad, he was called Ghost, but now that his eye color is more pronounced, I think that Carmine’s a better name.”
“So you won’t –”
“No. Stop asking. He’s my favorite frog of all.”
The father’s head approached. His eyes filled the entire space in front of me.
“That’s why you’re squeezing him to death? Look at how frantically he tries to escape!”
“Oh, sorry, Carmine. I’ve been holding you for so long, it must hurt. Here!”
Thomas crouched and returned me back exactly where I was. Instead of continuing to the grass, I tumbled over. With one swift kick of my legs, I repositioned myself correctly and clambered through that sticky sand, which was now irritating my body – likely due to the lack of moisture – until I reached the water. I surged down to my hiding place and stayed there until Thomas was gone.
Around nighttime, part of me wished to try again, yet I didn’t. I was too scared to be picked up once more.
There’s no way I’m going back there.
But deep inside, I knew that I’d have to leave the pond. I knew I’d have to do the same as the others; explore the great outside and explore the rest of the world. For now, all I wished was to have Ghrruk in my vicinity so we could communicate, eat, and sleep together. If only I could have peace of mind in anticipation of what was to come next.
Good night Ghrruk. I miss you.
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