Throwaway. I played with two dildos yesterday and used saliva as lube (i know not adequate). I did anal play for 10-15 times and got used to it but I almost always used lube. Yesterday it seemed to be going in smooth and i was somewhat rough but mostly gentle. I finished, showered and packed up. But a few hours later I had to go number 2 and i saw some blood come out with mucus but no poop. I felt bloated ever since then. I did poop before sleeping and didn't notice blood in the stool, just darkish brown. Went to sleep hoping the bloating would go away but I woke up this morning feeling the same. I feel some air moving around inside and i do fart but not much. Could this be a rupture? I have no fever no chills no pain just bloatness. And I didn't notice any more blood. Hope someone answers. Thanks
Edit: I feel theres a good amount of trapped gas/air but I can't release anything.

Happened to see this tweeted by astronomer Beatriz Villaroel, who gave a presentation at the SOL Foundation Conference back in November regarding astronomical plates from July 19, 1952--in the middle of the DC UFO flyover of that month--in which three bright points of light in the sky vanished in less than an hour.
Here's her article published, along with other authors, December 01, 2023 in the Oxford Academic Royal Astronomical Society, a month after the SOL conference:
https://academic.oup.com/mnras/article/527/3/6312/7457759
Here's info on the 1952 DC UFO flyover event:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1952_Washington,_D.C.,_UFO_incident
Here's her presentation at the SOL Conference:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njNP8ypUbDM
She'll be the guest on tomorrow's u/thegoodtroubleshow with Matt Ford:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnugxvUWsXI
Here's her tweet about yesterday's New Paradigm Media Group's (not to be confused by the New Paradigm Institute) post about the supposed recent killing of a whistleblower (could this be tied to Boeing?).
https://twitter.com/DrBeaVillarroel/status/1791861598455218333
Here's that post from New Paradigm Media Group:
https://www.newparadigmmg.com/blog/paying-the-ultimate-price-for-disclosure

Paying the Ultimate Price for Disclosure.

May 17 -- Written By Digby Furneaux
In a recent and stirring statement to “The Good Trouble Show” with Matt Ford, Lue Elizondo, a prominent figure in the UFO community, ignited a wave of concern and curiosity. Elizondo, known for his involvement with the Pentagon's Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program (AATIP), spoke candidly, via written statement, about the dangers he and other whistleblowers face. His words left many wondering: what exactly is happening behind the scenes in the clandestine corridors of “the Program”?
Elizondo’s revelation was startling. He expressed a genuine fear for his safety, the safety of his family, and the safety of those poised to expose long-held secrets about UFOs. These whistleblowers are not merely fighting for recognition; they are risking their lives to unveil truths that have been shrouded in secrecy for over 80 years, if not longer. The question arises: are these threats real, or are they a ploy to draw attention to Elizondo’s forthcoming book?
Having rekindled my passion for the UFO topic last year, I have had the privilege of connecting with remarkable individuals who possess behind-the-scenes knowledge. Building these relationships takes time and trust, which must be earned on both sides. These are not just “trust me bro” sources; these are real people whose lives have been profoundly impacted by “the Program.” For them, this is not a game. It is a serious endeavour to bring the truth to light.
Most of us have the luxury of researching UFOs from the safety of our homes. We can indulge in our fascination without fearing for our lives. However, for those with first-hand knowledge, the reality is starkly different. This is a battle, a fight to disclose the truth to the world, not for fame or fortune, but because it is the right thing to do. These courageous individuals are being silenced, picked off one by one, because of what they know.

I can confirm that Elizondo and others like him are taking these threats very seriously. Recently, a whistleblower who came forward with crucial information lost his life.

From my own knowledge and from multiple reliable sources, I can confirm that Elizondo and others like him are taking these threats very seriously. Recently, a whistleblower who came forward with crucial information lost his life. One of these heroes, driven by a commitment to truth and transparency, has paid the ultimate price for your right to know. This untimely death is more than a tragedy; it is a stark reminder of the high stakes involved in the fight for disclosure.
This incident sends a chilling message to those contemplating stepping forward: the risks are real, and the consequences can be dire. To the family of this brave soul, I offer my deepest condolences and heartfelt sorrow for the loss of such a courageous individual. The sacrifice made by this whistleblower underscores the immense dangers faced by those who dare to challenge the veil of secrecy surrounding UFOs.
The reality is that these individuals are not seeking fame or fortune. Their actions are driven by a profound sense of duty and the belief that the public deserves the truth. However, the threats they face—from intimidation to potentially lethal consequences—are formidable obstacles. How can we protect those waiting in the wings? How can the world hope for full disclosure while “the Program” still holds the cards?

It is essential for us to recognize and honour the bravery of those who risk everything to bring hidden truths to light.

The journey towards uncovering the truth is fraught with peril. It is essential for us to recognize and honour the bravery of those who risk everything to bring hidden truths to light. These whistleblowers are not just fighting for themselves; they are fighting for all of us, for our right to know and understand the mysteries that have long been kept from us.
As we continue to seek answers and push for transparency, it is crucial to support these courageous individuals. Their sacrifices should not be in vain. By standing together and demanding accountability, we can help create a safer environment for future whistleblowers and pave the way for the long-awaited disclosure that humanity deserves.

Today was day 4 of phentermine 37.5, but I’m cutting the pills in half for the time being.
Side effects: loss of appetite, stomach upset, dizziness/loopy feeling.
Today was meh. I had stressful things going on and I still do so it just wasn’t a good day in general. I had a lot of trouble eating today, which was strange cause when I’m stressed it’s usually the exact opposite. I had a half a banana at 8 am and I didn’t eat anything else until 6 pm. The only thing that sounded good was mozzarella sticks and I needed something in my stomach so that’s what I had. I didn’t realize this until afterward when I looked it up but apparently greasy/fatty foods are a no-no on this medication for some people. The greasy food on top of not eating for hours was a big mistake. It messed my stomach up so bad. Tmi but I had horrible diarrhea/stomach cramps for an hour afterward. Luckily it went away. I am definitely going to take that into consideration moving forward and try to eat ATLEAST every 4 hours even if it’s something small and cut out greasy foods even if it’s the only thing that sounds good. Dizziness comes and goes and I started to feel loopy around 9 pm which is the second night in a row that’s happened so that might be something I have to get used to. Will update again tomorrow.

My first week’s account seemed to land well so I will continue to share my journey as it is therapeutic for me and hopefully iof benefit to others. I am constantly surprised by the similarities in so many people’s journeys. On reflection that shouldn’t be such a surprise as we have a lot in common. Of note, I really enjoy reading about other people’s wins and equally their struggles.
In the week I also decided to share my writing with several close friends. These are people who I know in real life as well as from various personal development groups and programmes I am in and again I receive positive feedback from them which is always encouraging. I wonder about posting to my main FB feed or other small groups but for now that feels premature and although I have no shame about my actions part of me doesn’t want to invite the possibility of any negative comments even though the risk of that is low. In fact, not only do I NOT feel any shame, I am incredibly proud of where I have got to and central to that is me taking control of the situation and acting in my own best interests, not those of anybody else.
I am surprised on Monday around 5pm when what I take to be low grade food noise pipes up. I feel full enough and there is no real temptation to eat but I note its presence. Fifteen minutes later I rememberealise I haven’t actually eaten anything since 11:45 so it shouldn’t be a surprise that I’m feeling a little empty!! Questioning why I was hungry never crossed my mind. Go figure?! Solution, heat up my dinner and eat a little earlier than I planned. Job done and I feel full and satisfied.
My first significant side effect arrives later that evening. Marked tiredness hit me which also returned on Wednesday early evening accompanied by some mild dysphoria; not really food noise as such I was just a bit flat in mood. I was not particularly hungry but I did eat a few nuts whilst dinner was cooking; it settled.
Next morning (Thurs) normal service is resumed. I slept well, and awake bright and cheery. I realise that despite my positivity in the first 10 days, life still lifes and fluctuations in my mood are entirely normal and to be expected. Looking to the outside world to influence my mood is never going to work. Peace of mind comes from the inside out and that reminder of the Truth of how the system works is useful to me. I sit and meditate for 30 minutes before getting up and that again helps to ground me.
Interestingly this week the appetite suppression has continued for the full seven days as has the feeling full most of the time.
My 5mg pen has arrived safely and is sitting next to its friend in the fridge. I aim to go for five weeks on the 2.5mg based on my current progress but I am open to going with the flow and listening to my body. I am happy with my second week’s weight loss, another 1.5 kg. Down 5kg in 2 weeks and the 90s are in sight.

Symptoms: high fever (103-104, currently 100.4 at the time of posting), headache, sore throat, occasional light coughing, randomly shivering for ~10 minutes, and sometimes extra saliva
Starting a few days ago, I got sick from something. It was minor at first, with just a headache, but yesterday morning I woke up with a fever of 103. From what I've heard and read, that's bad. It wouldn't go down for a while from Ibuprofen or a cold bath. I layed down to wait for a ride to the doctor's, fell asleep, and woke up with it down to roughly 98. The docters tested for strep and it came back negative, and did nothing else other than to tell me to let it run it's course. I then went home and went to bed again early that night. I woke up in the middle of the night with a fever of 103.8, soon 104. I took more ibuprofen and layed back down under the fan and it went down about an hour and a half later. I just want to know what's wrong. I don't have my tonsils, and I rarely get sick anymore and when I do it's minor and doesn't last for very long. Ik I'm over reacting, but I'm just scared. Any information on how to help with the symptoms and what I might be infected with would be very appreciated.

TW: weight loss/eating!
I’ve been on 25mg once daily for about a month and a half. I haven’t felt too much improvement in ADHD symptoms and was planning to increase to 40mg next month. However, I have noticed that since being on it I’ve been losing weight excessively (in the last week, ~1lb a day) and I’m not in a position to lose ANY weight. Despite being on Strattera for 1.5mos I’ve only noticed this in the last week or two. My eating is about the same or only a little less than pre-meds, but my appetite is gone and I can’t stomach much food. I’m not dealing with any nausea.
I’m concerned about risking increasing my dose and making this worse, or maybe that there’s a different reason for the loss if it’s this dramatic? Has anyone else had similar issues and what did you do? Of course I’m going to talk to my doctor, but I don’t want to have to choose between my mental and physical health :/. Thank you!

Hi, this is gonna be a bit long, but let me explain the entire situation so far: Going back about a year or so, I started noticing an elevated heart rate above what I usually would have. I have an apple watch that allows me to check my heart rate, and around this time I started to get notifications that my heart rate was above average (in the 120s to 130s range while resting as opposed to my normal 60-80 range). This happened a few times along with some very minor chest pain / tightness, however after laying down for a few hours / going to bed it would usually return to normal. Around the same time I got diagnosed with anxiety and ADHD and placed on an SSRI to help my anxiety after trying ADHD meds and not liking them. I never really had any incidents with high heart rate after that, so I had assumed it was just anxiety causing it (and that may still be the case). A few months went by and I ended up starting college and got myself a girlfriend. As I ended up finding out, SSRIs, while great, have the unfortunate side effect of erectile dysfunction, so I weaned off my meds so I could prioritize my love life. There were a few incidents after this where my heart rate was above average, but again I just chalked this up to anxiety, as it would usually go away on its own. At one point I went into my on campus doctor's office just to verify my heart was okay after an elevated heart rate the night before, and they gave me an EKG which came up clear. Months go by, and things are fine, besides a slight uptick in anxiety. Unfortunately however, my relationship began to crumble and my anxiety skyrocketed, and we eventually broke up, which led me to talking to my doctor and getting placed back on anxiety medication. However, I really didn't like how SSRI's impacted my libido, so after trying a few more SSRI's I was placed on Buspirone. I love Buspirone, and it's made a noticeable difference on my confidence / reducing anxiety. When I take my full dose at once (30 mg), I tend to get a bit dizzy / nauseous, however when split up into 10 mg taken at breakfast lunch and dinner I have no noticeable side effects. I will say (and I don't know if this is in any way important but I'm just naming everything possible), I have noticed that since stopping the SSRIs and starting Buspirone I tend to ejaculate VERY fast which is abnormal for me, and although I would like to fix that it is not my main concern. Moving on though, after about a month or two after being placed on Buspirone, we get to where my heart problems start. As someone who had never used any substances my entire life, leaving home and going to college gave me the freedom to try new things, and although I know it's not great, on weekends me and my friends will get together and drink or occasionally smoke weed / take an edible. I was worried at first about interactions with my medication, but after some research all anything online could tell me was that I may get drunk faster / more nauseous and dizzy, which wasn't too big of a deal for me. I had tried weed earlier in college and didn't like the way it made me feel, however after being placed on Buspirone I decided to try it again and actually enjoyed the feeling, so I started doing it more on the weekends as opposed to just drinking, which leads us to the incident. Me and some friends had just sat down to watch a movie, and all taken an edible. Time passed, and I started to notice that my heart rate was extremely elevated, way more than I was usually used to. I checked my heart rate, and found that my watch was displaying an average of 160 bpm. At first I thought I was just having a bad high and tried to calm myself. I laid on the floor and put some ice on my forehead, but nothing was helping. I checked my heart rate again and saw that my watch was displaying 190, which really freaked me out as that was way higher than I had ever seen before. I had my sober friend call Public Safety for me, and they came to my dorm room and did a basic check up on me. They said that I had a fever, and when they took my heart rate they got something in the 160s range. Their explanation was that my anxiety, when combined with being high and likely being sick made my heart rate elevated, which made sense at the time. I went into my college's health services to follow up the next day since my heart rate was still elevated (in the 120s-130s range), however they again told me it was probably just anxiety. A few days went by and my heart rate was STILL above average, so I decided to double check with my real doctor off campus. About a day before this I had also stopped taking my medication to see if it could be the cause for my elevated heart rate. The doctors took my vitals and immediately noticed that had very high blood pressure and an elevated heart rate, to the point where they sent in a second doctor to recheck my vitals and make sure it was correct. After talking to me and having me give a run down of my symptoms, they had me schedule an appointment with a cardiologist and told me that if I ever experience chest pain and a heart rate above 100 bpm that wouldn't go down to go to the hospital. I had also told them about how I stopped taking my medication and they told me that that was fine and to tell the cardiologist about it. About a week passes, and I have my cardiologist appointment in a few days. I had been up the night before working on my final exams, so I hadn't gotten much sleep, and besides a breakfast sandwich that I had for lunch I hadn't eaten much either. I had been experiencing chest pain all day, but I assumed it was being caused by my lack of sleep, so after classes I went and took a nap. After a few hours I woke up, and immediately noticed that I still had chest pain. I checked my apple watch, and my heart rate was displaying roughly 90-110 bpm while laying down, which on top of the chest pain made me worried since my doctor had told me that that was cause to go to the hospital. I called my parents to tell them about it, and they drove to the school and had me sit in the car and eat some food they had made to see if it would help at all. However, even after this, my heart rate was still above 100 bpm and I still had chest pain, so my mom made the call to bring me to the hospital. While on the way to the hospital, out of nowhere my heart rate increased to about 170-180 bpm, which freaked me out. We arrived at the hospital, and they immediately gave me an EKG to make sure I wasn't going to drop dead. During this time, I also was shaking a lot and couldn't make myself stop. Eventually they took me into a room and decided to run some tests on me. The tests they did are as follows: BASIC METABOLIC PANEL, CBC WITH DIFF, TROPONIN NH, D DIMER DEEP VEIN THROMB LEVEL, TSH REFLEX, X-RAY CHEST PA AND LATERAL, and ECG-12 LEAD. While I'm not a doctor, from what they told me and from what I can see, everything turned up pretty normal. My potassium was a smidge low, as well as my MCV and MPV, and my Monocyte (absolute) was a tad high, but generally nothing to worry about. The website where I'm viewing my test results display my ECG as abnormal and an attached document says I have left atrial enlargement as well as sinus tachycardia, but they only mentioned sinus tachycardia in the hospital so I assume that it was just the machine reading my test results and giving its own diagnosis. Long story short though, I left the hospital a few hours later, and although I still had a slightly elevated heart rate they said I was fine to go about life normally and to follow up with my cardiologist. Cut to the present, and I just met with my cardiologist a couple days ago. I gave him the general rundown of the above story (but didn't mention the edible as a precursor to the 190 bpm heartrate as my mom was in the next room over and the door was wide open), and after checking my vitals he told me that although I did have an elevated heart rate and high blood pressure, my chest pain probably wasn't a huge concern and that he wasn't too worried it was anything life threatening. He told me I could resume taking my meds (which I had temporarily replaced with ashwagandha supplements while I waited for the appointment and have since stopped taking), and had me wear a little device that monitored my heart rate for 24 hours, which I'm set to return in a couple days. He also told me that when I returned it he would check my results and give me an echocardiogram and go from there. So, with any luck, he should be able to figure things out then. However, I wanted to post this to see if anyone could help me get any ideas on what it could be that I could run by him to help speed things up. I also have a recent theory of my own that I want to hear advice on. I was doing research and discovered that Buspirone, when taken with other medication that increases serotonin, can cause serotonin syndrome. After another google search, I found out that weed can increase serotonin levels. The only hole in that theory is that I stopped taking Buspirone after the initial spike in heart rate / blood pressure but had no noticeable changes. Oh and one last thing, if you can't think of anything in regards to what could be causing my elevated heart rate, I actually would like to know why I'm ejaculating so fast so I can fix it because its gotten to the point where I can't even enjoy masturbating because of how fast I cum.
In case I missed anything, here's a list of my symptoms (although I have no idea if they're all correlated):

• High heart rate (anywhere from 90-190 bpm)
• High blood pressure
• Chest pain / tightness on my left side and does not hurt more when I breath in / out (every now and then pain extends to my neck and shoulder)
• Frequently tired
• Insomnia (could be correlated with the above symptom lol)
• Get out of breath faster than usual
• Anxiety (already had this though)
• Mild depression (probably from my breakup)
• Lack of motivation (probably from my ADHD)
• Very rare and random spasms in my neck
• About 10 pounds weight loss in the past few months
• Headaches (could be from the meds)
• Probably something minor that I'm forgetting but if I can't think of it it probably isn't important (will update this list if new symptoms arise)

TLDR: I have a high heart rate and blood pressure and can't figure out why

Hi guys I am a mum and I work 9:30 to 3:30 sometimes 4:30 and sometimes I start closer to 8am. I have just been diagnosed this year ADHD combined type, my psychiatrist says I am quite severe and could not believe how long I had been going without properly managing myself. Which is funny because not managing my symptoms and the consequences of that have become too dangerous to continue anymore which is why I went for diagnosis. I was constantly worried I would lose my job any minute and riddled with anxiety about trying to be a better mum but failing. I’ve been medicated, Ritalin 10mg. Begun titration, 10mg x 2 a day for 7 days and now x3 a day. The first week 10x2, 10 taken half an hour before I enter work and then 10 at lunch time, I have seen an amazing difference. I’m focused, im starting, following through on and COMPLETING tasks. I need much less prompting and assistance from my colleagues. I am not interrupting as often and feel a lot more confident in my interactions with people. My brain has become so quiet. It honestly feels like such a miracle I can’t believe the results I am getting with no side effects so far except for a subdued appetite. I also do not find the effects of the medication wearing off to be too extreme, just a return to my premedicated state which is sad and frustrating when my symptoms come screaming back and I feel glued to the couch again, unable to think straight, unable to motivate myself to so much as get up and go to the bathroom when I get the urge. Then came 10x 3 a day, adding a dose at 3:00-3:30, almost PERFECT. Extending my results until I begin to crash some time after dinner, having not come home to crash on the couch as previously with x2, instead I have engaged with and played with my children who are receiving my full and undivided attention for once, done bathtime and all my chores and all that is left to do is chill out and get ready for bed anyway.
Now the only thing, and I feel it is almost greedy to hope for different, is that our mornings are still hell. I wake up and have an awful time dragging myself out of bed, I’m stressed, unable to think clearly about the tasks I need to accomplish to get us out the door to school and work. I don’t know where anything is and if I find it I’m bound to lose it again by the time we need to leave, which is still never on time. All of my planning and prepping the afternoon before out the window because I’ve forgotten my lunch, to put the clean washed change of clothes in the school bag, to feed the dog until I’m half way up the street and now need to turn around and forget what I came back for. Now this has always been my life except all day long every day but seems especially cruel now that I know it can be different. The thing is I do appreciate how rare it is to find a medication straight off the bat that is so effective and I’ve heard all the stories about how people have changed to slow release and had to sacrifice their morning or afternoon anyway. I’d like to ask my psychiatrist to add a dose to my morning at my review but not at the risk of having my medication changed and possibly losing out on all the progress I’ve made. Thank you for reading my novel and I appreciate any advice or shared experiences in advance. Edited to make some spelling corrections, sorry about my grammar I wouldn’t know if I made an error there or not as I’m not very good at it.

So for context, I have a sensitivity to weather events and air pressure changes that can give me headaches in a day or hours before oncoming storms, tornadoes or hurricanes warnings watches give me intense ear pressure pains. During normal storms, I’ll have a headache beforehand sometimes hours or a whole day beforehand, next, a couple minutes or even mere seconds before it rains, I’ll get shiver cold chill tingling and shake like I’m shaking off excess energy, and then in 15 to 20 min or so when it releases and rains, the headache goes away and I will get the sleepy, drowsy, content, peaceful feeling and have this cold chill tingle pitter patter feeling that feels like misty rain drizzle sprinkling but fainter. When lightning is very intense or particularly colse, my skin will tingle and my hairs will stand up but it’s not as close as others have reported when this happened to them. During last week, I had a bunch of different little things happening to me all at once that all started about the same time, last Wednesday, maybe Tuesday, and peaked last Friday and have thus far prolonged but have been slowly dropping off. I have had super vivid lucid dreams. Out of body experiences are ridiculously easy at the moment when normally they are more difficult to attain. Prolonged hypnogogic states between awake and sleep are happening every time I fall asleep and wake up and my sleep schedule is abruptly all out of wack all last week. The super relaxed mindless drifting morning meditative like relaxation and peacefulness you get when first waking up is lasting most of the morning instead of just 15 to 20 mins. Empty mind and mindful meditation peacefulness and serenity are coming to me absurdly easy when normally I have to gradually quiet and focus my mind. I am very sleepy relaxed content-at times almost very scattered, confused, or spaced out, difficulty focusing or mustering up willpower to do stuff-it almost makes me think of how I am when tipsy drunk but no physical effects of alcohol and I haven’t started any new medication or diet changes that could cause side effects-, and wanting to just do no work, just sit, lay, and immerse myself in my surrounding environment or the empty mind. With no rain, I have had tingling cold chills like excessive energy or mild electrical potential feel in the air like when near big Tesla coils I saw once on a school field trip and goosebumps on and off over that last week, and it’s more often and intense when I’m outside, same for the headaches. In extreme weather, I will have an instinctive feeling urge to take all my pillows and blankets and snacks and water and will “nest” hunker down in my closet and I’ve felt that urge last week-more so out of an almost winter hibernation feeling sleepy drowsiness and comfort rather than the usual instinctive urge to hunker down-yet no extreme weather. I have an old hip bruising from a playground incident in middle school that acts up when it’s cold and we’ve been getting 70s F weather and yet it’s acting up. I am wanting to sleep or try more lucid dreams or out of body experiences to the point it’s more an urge than a meager want, and my interest in spiritual stuff has increased abruptly to an almost laser focus obsessive compulsive I-want-to-know-everything-I-possibly-can level to where I’m doing one completely different thing and I derail back to spiritual stuff. So all these physical and mental things I’ve experienced last week were very similar to what I experience during storms or extreme weather, but we didn’t have any extreme weather in my area last week, and the before and during storm symptoms happened at the same time while being amped up ridiculously intense, and all this extra spiritual stuff, all starting, peaking, and decreasing all happening at the exact same time, leads me to suspect that something out in the world triggered all this, but the absence of any usual triggering bad weather in the area plus the spiritual stuff is confusing. If anyone actually read this and has any ideas or has or is going through something similar, any theories or ideas would be helpful. Body sensitivity, chemicals, hormones, brain wave stuff, ESP, bioelectric field, chakras, any spiritual or scientific theories are welcome at this point if it means I might get some answers.

In October 2023, I got Strep Group A. It was definitely the worst bout for me symptom-wise. I couldn’t swallow anything without immense pain, and I was very nauseous. After my antibiotic treatment (Penicillin), my main symptoms all went away except I continued to have the chills. I went in for another test once the chills became unbearable at night and a mildly sore throat, a month after I started my 10 day antibiotic course. The rapid test came back negative.
On Thanksgiving, I had an incredibly sore throat much like last time but was less feverish. I got tested, my rapid test came back negative but my throat culture tested positive for Group B. I went through a 10 day course of Amoxicillin, and I never really felt better weeks after.
Both of the previous labs were administered by my university’s student health center. The semester had ended, so I went to MedStar’s walk in to get another throat culture as I still had the same symptoms with the new addition of chest pain. To quote the NP I saw at MedStar
“Your symptoms do not meet the scorecard. You’re 23, you have the body of a BMW and you will be fine.”
… I get younger people are naturally healthier but, what a dismissively crass thing to say. Also, I’m not built like that I’m in skinny fat with a pronounced muffin top lmao.
With that being said, she refused to administer a throat culture to make sure I still don’t have Group B despite pleading with her that my symptoms have not changed, along with the addition of chest pains. I continued to have the same symptoms for months, but the chest pains went away by the new year.
I’ve felt somewhat better since, but the occasional sore throat and chills weren’t uncommon. Actually, I’ve gotten chills pretty much everyday but seemingly only when I lay down in bed at night.
Fast forward to the end of April, my tongue was in splitting pain with a sore throat and I decided to get tested. I came back to my home town where I saw an NP in the walk in… she believed it was post nasal drip but she administered a throat culture upon my request and it turned out I had strep again, Group G this time. So thankful they agreed to give me a throat culture.
They prescribed a 5 day Azithromycin antibiotic course, which I finished on May 1st and mostly everything went away except the chills. Last weekend on the 13th, my sore throat and fever came back so I went back to the walk in, just got my results today that I still have Strep, but they can’t identify which group other than it or being Group A. I have been prescribed a 10 day course of amoxicillin.
My mind is spinning… what in the actual hell is going on?
*Something else I find strange… throughout these times when I didn’t know I had strep even though I did including last month, none of the people I have shared a vape with, a drink with, or kissed have gotten sick.
I can’t see an ENT for months because of the healthcare system, and I’m rightfully getting worried. Having strep for at least a month, and god knows for how long if Group B never went away, is making me concerned about rheumatic fever. I’m really uneasy and anxious about all of this.
Important to note, when I was taking my antibiotic courses the previous 3 times, I really screwed up and was drinking heavily while on them. I had developed alcoholism the same month when I first contracted Strep. I was not considerate or knowledgeable of how alcohol would interact with the antibiotics, and I will not be drinking on this course and I’m really hoping this will help. My throat has had small red bulging spots since October that have never went away, and it’s making me concerned that Strep has been present in my system since and simply hasn’t gone away.
I am also a chronic vaper, which could seemingly line up with my frequency to strep over the last few months. I’m treating my vape like my toothbrush head, getting rid of them.
Am I tweaking for being worried rheumatic fever? And is it strange that I’m prone to multiple groups of strep, or is this reasonable for someone with a weakened immune system? Am I tweaking for being dismissively compared to a BMW because of my age when in fact I’m built more like a 2010’s Mitsubishi?

I took my first shot Tuesday and it is currently Saturday, and am yet to feel any side effects or am really feeling any loss of appetite. Did this happen for anyone else?

Hello, 34m from Italy, nice to meet you all. What I ask you today, with all my heart, is to read this post, hoping that someone can click with it.
Since 2012 my life has been nothing less than a hell. I gradually developed a huge amount of symptoms, some of these are unbearable and I’m really, really having trouble imagining a future like this.
I’ll try to be as concise as possible while listing my symptoms:

• a terrible migraine-like headache, pounding pain, 27 days/month on average. At this point I can only manage it with morphine ev. I checked everything, tried everything.
  
• Sexual dysfunction, where erextion problems and lack of spontaneous erection are the worst.
  
• Stuttering
  
• Dermatitis
  
• Terrible loss of short term memory
  
• Struggle urinating, urgency, weak stream and huge effort to do it
  
• Confusion
  
• Anxiety
  
• I had seizures once, but eeg showed no epilepsy
  
• Feeling constantly stress but with no reason at all
  
• Vision problems, need to keep my eye closed like they were super tired focusing things
  

And probably something I’m missing right now.
I spent all my money traveling in search of answers. I lost my job because of my chronic pain. I’m living a miserable life. I lost the chance to pursue a blooming career in music. I simply cannot accept this scenario, I need at least to give a name to this monster.
I hope someone will see himself in this story, and maybe some hint could come up. This would have an inestimable value for me.
Wish you all the best, and thanks ❤️

Hello, 34m from Italy, nice to meet you all. What I ask you today, with all my heart, is to read this post, hoping that someone can click with it.
Since 2012 my life has been nothing less than a hell. I gradually developed a huge amount of symptoms, some of these are unbearable and I’m really, really having trouble imagining a future like this.
I’ll try to be as concise as possible while listing my symptoms:

• a terrible migraine-like headache, pounding pain, 27 days/month on average. At this point I can only manage it with morphine ev. I checked everything, tried everything.
  
• Sexual dysfunction, where erextion problems and lack of spontaneous erection are the worst.
  
• Stuttering
  
• Dermatitis
  
• Terrible loss of short term memory
  
• Struggle urinating, urgency, weak stream and huge effort to do it
  
• Confusion
  
• Anxiety
  
• I had seizures once, but eeg showed no epilepsy
  
• Feeling constantly stress but with no reason at all
  
• Vision problems, need to keep my eye closed like they were super tired focusing things
  

And probably something I’m missing right now.
I spent all my money traveling in search of answers. I lost my job because of my chronic pain. I’m living a miserable life. I lost the chance to pursue a blooming career in music. I simply cannot accept this scenario, I need at least to give a name to this monster.
I hope someone will see himself in this story, and maybe some hint could come up. This would have an inestimable value for me.
Wish you all the best, and thanks ❤️

I posted in this sub a few times last year when I was really going through it. Brain fog, anxiety, fatigue, vision issues, debilitating headaches and hyper sensitivity (“mini” concussions from small bumps of the head). I had 4-5 concussions over the course of 3 years, with 3 of those occurring within 2 months of each other. Outside of some lingering neck issues, I’ve made a full recovery and want to share what worked for me.
Please don’t let this long list stress you out though. There were days when getting out of bed in the morning felt like an accomplishment. Every recovery is different and only you can know what your body and brain are feeling.
Commitment After my most recent injury I decided that getting better was the most important thing in my life and I completely dedicated myself to my recovery. That’s why this list is as long as it is — I decided I was going to try everything.
Research Learning about concussions is a great place to start! It really helped me plan my course of action and think rationally about recovery. This sub is a great source of knowledge. Complete concussion management on YouTube has some great intro videos too.
Exercise I think that exercise was the #1 most important factor in my recovery. I started by going on short daily walks and doing light yoga in my house and eventually built up to 2x cardio 3x weightlifting 2x yoga every week. I got in the habit of exercising early in the day and felt like it really helped with my mental energy throughout the day.
Diet I tried to eat an anti inflammatory diet but it was hard (I really love to eat lol). I couldn’t go completely keto but I cut out carbs where I could and made an effort to cook all of my own meals with a lot of protein and vegetables. Avocado and olive oils give you omega 9s which are important for omega 3 absorption. I also didn’t really drink at all.
Supplements I don’t know exactly what worked and what didn’t but you should definitely be taking omega 3 (and probably creatine). My stack: - 4000 mg Nordic Naturals omega 3. Can cut down to normal dose after a couple months - 5 mg creatine monohydrate - 2000 mg magnesium l-theronate - 1g ImmPower AHCC (mushroom-based immune supplement) - 125 mcg vitamin d3 - Multivitamin - Dietary fiber + probiotic (gut health is important)
CBD Only way I could get to sleep for a couple months. Great for headaches. It’s also a nice substitute for alcohol when going out with friends.
Concussion clinic + Neurofeedback I went to a concussion clinic in NC shortly after my last concussion. Most of my problems were cognitive so my doctor recommended a neurofeedback program. I was super skeptical at first but it definitely improved my screen tolerance and I felt like it helped with teaching my brain how to switch off.
Neurologist + Nortryptoline Neurologists are really only good for one thing: prescribing meds. There’s a good chance you don’t need to take an SNRI but I had nerve damage at the site of impact that, whenever touched, would cause me a lot of pain and trigger hours of concussion symptoms. I think that my meds (prescribed for nerve pain) helped get some of this hypersensitivity under control.
Meditation There are people on this sub who can speak to this better than me but after a concussion your autonomic nervous system can be in an “always on” mode where you’re constantly in a state of fight or flight. Meditation while concussed is very challenging and won’t immediately zen you out but it will help you notice just how overactive your brain is and help you train yourself to redirect your attention when your mind runs wild.
Physical therapy + dry needling If you have any neck pain at all, go to PT. Seriously! It might be causing most if not all of your headaches. A few months of stretching and strengthening exercises helped resolve most of my headaches. Also, if dry needling is legal in your state, seek it out for really intense neck tightness. My PT offered needling and it was a godsend on my worst days.
Brain challenges I’m a computer programmer so getting back into work was challenging enough but I also made an effort to try to learn a new language and do some daily puzzles to help foster some new neural connections.
Try to relax when I bump my head Idk I still freak out when I bonk. I probably have had 30-40 “flare ups” over the past 2 years. No one on the internet seems to have a great answer for why this happens. I think it’s probably some sort of learned response from the brain in response to a stressor. I recently took the approach of doing everything in my power to chill out when I bump my head on something (including taking cbd immediately after). Not sure if this helped or I just needed time but I hit my head on a cabinet pretty hard last week and experienced no symptoms! That’s honestly what encouraged me to write this post.
I hope some of this will be helpful to someone. Feel free to comment or hit my dm’s if you want any more detail on anything.

Age: 22
Sex: F
Height: 5’1”
Weight: 164 lbs
Race: hispanic
Duration of complaint: 3 months
Location: abdomen
Currently have high cholesterol. bad cholesterol count of 103 according to my primary care.
Current medications: metoclopramide 5mg. sertraline 25mg, pantoprazole 40mg
i’ll include pictures of some tests that i’ve had done in the comments if i can.
Gonna try to include as best of a description of my symptoms as i can, i’ll also try to edit anything if it makes my description better.
this all started 2 months ago. literally the last week of february. at the time i wasn’t on any type of medication. nothing changed in my eating habits, except for the fact that i’d had panda express for the 1st time ever starting in february.
i became constipated suddenly one afternoon and this continued for a week. went to the doctor and i was sent to get a ct scan. but obviously, i’m not familiar with medical terms. from what i understand, there’s evidence of slow transit through my small bowel, but don’t know where or why exactly.
symptoms include: constipation accompanied by side and abdominal discomfort/aches/ pains. my upper abdominal area aches a lot some days. it feels as if the area right under the breast bones wants to cramp up. i feel burning in my stomach and abdomen too. gas is hard to pass somedays and feels trapped. i also have upper back aches. doctor told me it’s because of my small intestine. i also have lower back aches as well, but was told it could be because of kidney stones i didn’t even know i had, but just thought i’d mention this. i have diarrhea (once i went and it was very watery,) loose stools, stools with mucus and pieces of undigested food, mainly meat, of varying shapes and consistencies. the mucus on my stool is clear and white and appears like strings on my stool. sometimes i’ll have a semi normal movement, but with mucus. sometimes my stool will be thin, in small pieces, or just very loose even after a “normal” bowel movement. other times i’ll go but it’s just mucus. all my stools are also slimey in texture from what i can tell. also, everytime i wipe my stool it’s yellow in color with mucus and/or clear fluid. sometimes i’ll have this urgency to go despite being constipated.
also, not sure if this has to do with my current condition but have been wiping light red blood after i go, both with my more solid stools and loose ones. in one instance i even wiped only blood. there’s also been times where i’ve seen streaks of blood on my stool too. clear fluid also seems to be leaking out of my anal area…. clear mucus sometimes too. this causes my anal area and the inside of it to itch and sting. it feels like that sometimes after a bowel movement, even if it’s soft, other times it just feels itchy throughout the day, even if there is no anal leakage or if i don’t go to the bathroom. the mucus that comes out sometimes has pieces of stool/liquid that is the color of my stool. even with the supplements and meds i’ve been given, i’m lucky if I go even once a day now, but constipation is getting worse in my opinion.
in late march/early april i started to experience nausea, heartburn, acid reflux, and severe loss of appetite. all of these symptoms have persisted since. i no longer eat any of the food i used to. i can’t eat fast food or meat any more. i’m sticking to fruit, no citrusy fruits, crackers, soups, and cereal with almond or lactose free milk. even with these changes in diet my symptoms have persisted.
i eat very little because i just don’t feel hunger like i used to at all. even if i do i find that i get full very easily. i’m bloated after i eat as well. also, like i said i’m constipated so my bowel movement are little to none.
i currently still have all of the symptoms above and they don’t seem to be improving.
in a addition to a ct scan i’ve gotten tested for a blood infection, negative. celiac disease blood test came back negative. stool test for h pylori came back negative. a test to find if there was any blood digested and present in my stool came back negative. a stool test that was done to measure levels of fat in my stool came back indicating normal levels of fat in my stool. i also got an ultra sound for lumps that appeared on my abdomen but it was found that they were just fatty lumps. i also got an endoscopy in late april where 3 tissue biospies were taken. apparently, the 3 things they tested for all came back negative. other than a bacterial infection, i have no idea what else they ruled out. i’m not even white sure what bacterial infections they ruled out.
honestly, i’m getting more questions than answers at the moment and just want to know if there’s any more testing that i should ask for. what could possibly be happening to me and why?

My son is just about to be 13 months. We are working on getting him weaned from formula, but it's a process (and I pumped up until about a month ago). He has always had at least 1 bottle overnight. Of the many things he's supposed to transition away from at 1 year, I started with night weaning because I'm freaking exhausted.
We were slowly working our way down from 4 oz once during the night when he got pretty sick with a high fever (last Monday). So I went back to feeding him a bunch overnight to help lower his temperature. He's better now, but he has decided he needs a full 4oz at 11:30 pm and 2 am, despite getting 7-8oz of formula at 7:45 pm. (We also do solids during the day of course, but it's a crapshoot if he eats) If I try to just comfort him back to sleep, it's a full on meltdown (for both of us 🫠).
I'm not willing to let him cry it out, but I'm at a loss. I try to get him to eat more during the day, but most days he will just eat puffs and cheese.
Any advice?

First / Previous
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Suzanne thought it was absolutely brilliant of me to put books on a flash drive for Sun. She explained that Sun wasn’t as sophant (her word, not mine) as she might seem, more of a repository of information, but she was fairly intelligent. It was how she was able to connect Andrew being in pain to the fact that I was friends with Andrew, and that I would want to know that he was in trouble. Apparently some of Sun’s species had given some ‘wisdom’ to others in the past and it had made its way into mythology.
The key fact was that she was not smart enough to protect herself and her kind from the clever, organized poachers. With that information in mind, it was fascinating for me to think of how Sun took in and organized what she learned. It was almost as if she was a walking, talking library.
On the topic of tours, my first one went wonderfully, and I’m almost hoping Suzanne lets me do more of them. I know not all the tourists are going to be as awesome as these people were, but Suzanne gave me a lot of slack when it comes to dealing with them. She actually said that being a smartass is not grounds for dismissal, and that if I’m sarcastic or facetious to guests who are being ‘daft’ and they complain, she really doesn’t care. Is this the perfect job for me or what?
There were four guests in this party, two adults who were sisters and two children of one of the women, brothers aged thirteen and seventeen. The tour was a birthday gift for the older of the boys from his aunt, since apparently he was passionate about animal protection and conservation.
When they arrived at the front gate, I was sitting at Andrew’s desk, going over the booklet of information one last time. When the visitors pressed the button that sounded the alert buzzer, I tucked away in a drawer and let them in. I did have a cheat sheet with information about the animals on my phone just in case, a brief notation of each of them and which enclosure they were in, but I really didn’t need to use it.
Exiting through the front door, I saw them walk up the path toward me. “Hi, I’m Ripley,” I said, holding out a hand toward the woman closest to me.
She shook it firmly. “I’m Denise. This is my sister Carla and my nephews, Wesley and Jason,” she said, motioning to each of them in turn.
“I heard it’s your birthday,” I said to Wesley, giving him a smile. “You’re interested in animal conversation?”
“Back where we live, yeah,” he said, nodding. “The animals that you’ve got here are incredible. I can’t wait to see them.”
“Well, I can’t wait to show them to you,” I said. “Right this way.”
I led them on the path around the building, toward enclosure one. Despite the horrific memories of the animal killing Stanley’s friends, I knew it was just an animal, and I had to push past my feelings on what had happened. Keeping a small smile on my face, I motioned to the enclosure. “Fiercely territorial and amazing hunters, despite their large size, they’re arboreal and known to dart from tree to tree with barely a sound. This is one of only about two thousand left in existence.”
“Two thousand, three hundred and fifty six at last count,” spoke Wesley, his eyes on the trees.
I blinked, surprised and impressed. “Well that was fantastic. Do you plan on stealing my job when you graduate?”
Wesley looked at me with a grin. “Nah, everyone knows Suzanne only offers humans this gig. And I want to help animals like this one get off the endangered species list. The zoos are great for awareness and fundraising, but then the money has to go somewhere. I want to be doing the real work.”
“That’s really great,” I told him. “I wish you all the best in that career path.” At that, we saw the animal climb down from the tree, wandering a few yards from the tree line. This was because 90% of the time, when humans were at their enclosure and making noise, whether it was speaking to each other or calling out to the animal, it was someone bringing them prey to eat. Or, in my case, enrichment toys to play with.
“Whoa,” Wesley whispered.
“How close can we get?” spoke up Jason.
“The warding starts at the fence,” I told him with a small gesture. “So, just there.”
Both boys wandered closer and I glanced at their parents. It seemed that Suzanne’s zoo had a serious reputation for high quality invisible walls, because they didn’t look worried in the slightest about the boys being hurt or killed.
“They prefer dense forest as their home and have been known to make their nests in trees up to twenty meter in the air,” I continued. “And when hunting, they’ve been seen dropping eight meters straight down. They have incredibly dense yet flexible musculature, which allows them to tackle their prey without injuring themselves.”
There was more information about the animal that I continued to rattle off, though Wesley chimed in at certain points with the info I was about to convey. That was highly entertaining and very cool. When I’d been in school, I’d never met anyone who had my level of passion about endangered animals. I wondered if things were better where these folks came from, but realized that considering there were so few of these animals left, I guessed not.
The animal paced a little bit, seemingly waiting to see if we were the kind of humans that came bearing food, before deciding we weren’t and climbing back up into the trees as easily as I would climb some stairs.
As we moved onto enclosure two, Jason spoke up. “Are there any animals here we can touch or feed or something?”
I sighed inwardly before slowing to a stop. “Well, can you show me your hands?” Jason looked bemused, holding out his hands. “I mean…they both look like they’re in great shape. You can stand to lose one.”
The two women chuckled and Wesley smirked as Jason shoved his hands into his pockets. “Very funny.”
Grinning, I started walking again. “The animals here are all carnivores and all predators. You get to see them, but that’s it.”
“Alright.”
When we reached enclosure two, I started on my next spiel. “We’ve got three reanimated dead in this enclosure,” I spoke. They were just coming out from the trees as we arrived, presumably having heard our approach. “Marissa, Connor, and Bradley. They were donated by families who knew where they would be exhibited. Their next of kin, whoever they are, can’t stand the idea of putting them down. But we need to make sure they don’t have access to corpses, because one of them plus one corpse equals two of them.”
“They eat flesh though, don’t they?” Wesley asked.
I nodded. “Oh, yeah, but it’s from bodies that have already been dismembered. There’s no chance of them being affected by the transformation because it’s all parts.”
“Oh, got it.”
The creatures with blueish-white skin had superhuman strength, which is why they qualified for the security of Suzanne’s zoo. They also were likely the source of any Earth tales of people being brought back to life as zombies, specifically draugr, according to my research. They smelled like rotting flesh, so even as I kept talking about them and giving a background to the people they used to be, we were quick to move on once Wesley had gotten a good, long look at them.
“Enclosure four’s animal is a vampiric spirit. He’s a small, hairy humanoid creature with pointed ears. He wears a hat, and if he somehow loses it, he freaks out,” I said.
“They eat horses,” Wesley noted. “Also anything that gives them the chance to sit on it, usually catching them by surprise while they’re sleeping.”
The creature came out from the brush, giving us a suspicious look. He wasn’t in his humanoid form though; for some reason, he’d chosen to shapeshift to a dog.
I nodded. “Yep, indeed. Once the prey is dead, then he’ll eat it, and he has a voracious appetite. We have two wolves and two bears in the forest, which is one of the reasons I’ve got some self-defense items,” I said, patting my belt where my pepper spray (rated for bear) and my taser. “But the wards keep them out of this area of the zoo, so it’s really not much of a worry. It’s also a known shapeshifter, preferring the form of a dog, as you can see, as well as a cat, a snake, or even white butterflies, though the last one is rare.”
“The white butterflies are supposed to be a sign of good luck,” Wesley said, glancing to me. “Too bad we got the dog.”
“Yeah, otherwise you might be able to talk your mom into getting scratch-offs on your way home, huh?”
Wesley smirked at me.
The next enclosure was Spike, and he was waiting for us, dripping wet from having just emerged from the lake. I gave the introductory information about him, which included his propensity for eating animal eyes, nails, and teeth. “Recently, I’ve given him some enrichment activities, and I learned he likes artichokes, pecans, and hazelnuts,” I said, taking a bag out from my cargo shorts. “Wesley, do you want to toss this bag into the enclosure?”
The boy’s eyes widened and he nodded excitedly. He took a look into the paper bag before wrapping down the top to make sure nothing would fly out. Then he chucked it underhand past the fence. It landed a few yards from Spike, who waddled over to it quickly and tearing the bag open, spilling out the prizes inside. As the animal ate the pecans and hazelnuts, Wesley asked, “How’d you figure out he likes those?”
“It’s not all about taste,” I told him. “It’s mainly the difficulty of getting them out of the shells. He’s used to having to work for the parts of his prey he likes the most, so this mimics that activity, and he enjoys the process. I tried a bunch of different foods to find a few he liked.”
“Cool,” Wesley murmured, staring at him.
We watched Spike eat until he’d finished and then he went back into the woods, leaving us to move onto enclosure five. Japanese camellia were plentiful here, a type of pink flower, and that was because they grew anywhere near one of his species made their den. “This girl spends most of her time in the lake also,” I said, as the creature made its way toward the fence separating us from it. “But as you can see, she’s just as curious as the rest about what we’re doing here and whether we have food for her. She eats fish mostly, but she also regularly gets live prey.”
This creature was a spider-like monster, having six legs with long claws on each, and the head of an ox with two sharp horns. She was capable of shapeshifting to look like a human, but I guessed that she wasn’t fond of it, since I hadn’t yet seen her in that form.
“She prefers the easy way of catching prey, so to speak, by hiding in the lake and pouncing when something comes for a drink of water,” I explained. “Apparently humans are some of her favorite prey. She has an advantage of being able to spit poison, which often hits her prey in the eyes. But it’s usually used in defense rather than offense, since it secretes a limited amount.”
“What kind of animal would even go after something like this?” Jason asked, staring at her.
“Never discount one of its own species when you’re thinking about what might attack an animal,” I replied. “There are places that are breeding all of the animals here, but competition for mates is common. That means an advantage in a fight, like poison or venom, can make or break who the winner is.”
“Ah, gotcha.”
“It can’t spit past the warding, right?” Carla suddenly asked.
“Oh, no,” I assured her. “We’re fine. The wards wouldn’t let anything cross over.” She nodded, appeased.
The animal in enclosure six was the ginormous seal-hippo, Fiona, and she was looking at us as if she was imagining sprinkling us with herbs and spices and stuffing us in an oven. “This girl is one animal I’m going to work on enrichment activities for next,” I told them. “She prefers to feed on crayfish, though she’s happy to eat any humans that wander into her territory. She’ll even make a sound like a baby crying to reel us in. I’ve heard it a bunch of times.”
“Can you get her to make the sound?” Jason asked, perking up.
I grinned. “Not on command, sorry.”
“What enrichment are you thinking of trying?” Wesley asked.
“Possibly food placed in puzzle feeders,” I told him, “since she has claws that are pretty dexterous. Maybe a piñata made out of newspaper with flour inside, or a scarecrow that mimics a human.”
“Awesome,” he muttered.
After a little more educational tidbits, we moved onto Yui’s enclosure. “What is that?” Wesley asked, smiling.
“I got Yui the closest thing I could to a ping-pong ball,” I replied. “She quite likes it.”
“That’s so funny,” he said as she came out of the trees in her spider form. “I mean, the idea of her being a bloodthirsty hunter who seduces men to their deaths and eats them alive, but then on the other hand, she likes playing with something like this.”
“It is a little funny,” I agreed. “But when it comes down to it, all the animals here enjoy activities besides hunting.”
“She can shapeshift to look human, right?” asked Jason, trying to be casual about knowing something factual like his nerdy brother.
I nodded. “She looks like a woman from a region of Earth called Japan. And she’ll use strategies like holding out a hand to shake to get you closer. She tried that on me when I first got here but, as you can see,” I said, holding up my hands and waving them, “I didn’t fall for it.”
The boys both laughed as they got closer to the fence, watching her slowly pace near the trees.
Next was Sun, but she didn’t make an appearance as I spoke about her species. “Well…unfortunately we can’t guarantee that every animal comes out to say hi,” I sighed. “But…oh wait, here she is.”
The green lion with several horns and many eyes along her flank came out from the forest. “Hello,” she spoke.
“Hi, Sun,” I replied. “We have visitors.”
“What’s that?” Wesley asked suddenly, pointing at the small plastic bag that was still where I’d left it.
“Oh! That is Sun’s enrichment,” I said with a smile. “I put dozens of books on a flash drive and found that she can read them just like she’d read a shelf of books.”
Wesley’s eyes widened. “Wow. I don’t think I’ve read about anyone trying that before. That’s really cool.”
“The books are new and interesting,” Sun spoke, drawing our attention. “I’m grateful for them.”
I nodded to her. “You’re quite welcome.”
The next animal, unfortunately, wasn’t there, and we waited around for ten minutes as we discussed him. He was large and reptile-like with red eyes, with its hind legs and tail making him look vaguely like a kangaroo. Then, enclosure ten was a terrifyingly disturbing creature, the not-a-centaur with no skin, that I’d only seen a few times while walking my route. It gave a good demonstration of its ferocity, showing its sharp teeth and snapping at us a few times.
“I’m thinking of trying salt licks and other horse enrichment like a big bouncy ball,” I told Wesley, whose eyebrows went up at that. “Maybe give him more things to forage like scattered grains or a box filled with pinecones and seeds. Foraging is a huge part of a horse’s life in the wild, and humans have to do a lot of activities like that to keep pet horses busy. Of course, he also loves the little salt-water lake that was built for him.”
We spent some time looking at the animal before moving past our last stop, the empty enclosure of the animal was stolen. Carla glanced at me with a sad smile, knowing what had happened, it seemed. I gave her a nod as we continued on our way, walking into the office. “So, I hope everyone enjoyed themselves!” I said with a smile.
“That was the coolest birthday present I’ve ever gotten,” Wesley said, looking to Denise. “Thanks so much, seriously.”
“It was my pleasure,” she said with a nod. “I’d never been here before, and knew I’d find it fascinating. Thank you for the educational aspect,” Denise said, glancing at me. “I learned quite a lot.”
“Happy to hear it,” I said, returning the nod.
As I escorted the guests out of the zoo and locked the door behind them, I reflected on how much I’d changed. The first time I’d seen Yui’s tarantula form, I’d nearly passed out from fear. Now here I was, walking tourists around like it was no big deal. Humans really can adapt to anything, it seems.
That afternoon, Suzanne had texted me that she was coming by after my shift, and I met her in Andrew’s office, shutting the door to the security room behind me. “How’s Andrew?” I asked first thing.
“He’s doing well,” she said with a wide smile. “Back on non-hospital food. He’s allowed to order food on his phone, and to hear it from him, that’s the best news he’d received in a long time.”
I chuckled. “I guess some clichés are true for a reason.”
“Indeed.” She took a breath. “All right. Ripley…I would like to discuss something with you.”
My face went slack at the serious tone in her voice. “I’m not… Am I being fired?”
“What? No!” she exclaimed. Then she chuckled softly. “No, it’s nothing like that. Just, here, let’s have a seat.” Suzanne walked over to the couch and sat at one end, and I took the other. “There’s something I need to tell you. Something I’ve kept from you, that I wanted to keep from you until you found your sea legs here.”
“Well…I have,” I said with a nod. “So, what is it?”
Suzanne took a breath. “I knew your mother.”
The words hung in the air for a moment before making their way to my ears. It was a perfectly logical sentence, and yet it didn’t make any sense. “What?” I finally managed.
“When you graduated college, I decided to move the zoo from Italy to within driving distance of your home,” she said softly. “Near enough to your town that you’d see the advert. We ignored any other applicants and I hoped you’d apply. Actually, I expected you’d apply. Not just for the money, but considering the field you wanted to go into. As soon as I’d found out your major, I knew.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” I said, holding up a hand. I pinched the bridge of my nose. “How do you know Patricia?”
“She owned the zoo before I did,” Susan explained. “Fourteen years ago…she was working to track an injured animal that we could bring into the zoo and she was killed by poachers.”
My heart calcified in my chest and a lump lodged in my throat. As my breaths became shaky, I stared at her in shock. “She…she’s really dead?”
“You suspected?” she asked softly.
“It…” I swallowed hard. “We had her declared legally dead after…I don’t know, seven years I think. My dad wanted to go after her for child support, but the police said…they said they couldn’t find…” Tears came to my eyes and I blinked them back before I met Suzanne’s gaze. “She owned the zoo?”
Suzanne nodded. “It was her baby, you’d say. When Patricia passed, I inherited it, which we’d discussed beforehand, a legal just-in-case that I never expected her to need. I’m under the impression that you were told she went to Africa for her photography career, but she was in fact going to remote areas back in my home world almost every time.”
“But I-I saw the photos,” I said, my eyes narrowing. “You’re telling me she put on a show of getting pictures that someone else took for us to see every time she visited? Did my dad even know?”
“I suppose that’s an accurate way to put it, putting on a show. And no, your father was never told. It’s not the way of things to tell humans unless it’s necessary. I won’t bore you with the details, but us and humans, we’re distant relatives, so we can still have children. But it wasn’t planned. Your mother fell in love with your father despite herself; she hadn’t meant to find love. Then she became pregnant with you and…well, the rest is history.”
“I think she had a different definition of love than the one I have,” I said tightly. “You’d think she’d have put her survival as more of a priority. Put being with the man she ‘loved’ as a priority. Her kids needed her. I needed her. She signed up when she became a mom. She could’ve screwed up all the time but she couldn’t even manage that one job: be there. When I was in the hospital, I kept thinking, ‘Where is she?’ and now you’re telling me that she put these animals above being there for her kids, and this whole time she’s been dead.”
“The hospital?” she asked, furrowing her brows.
“Never mind,” I said tersely, averting my gaze.
Suzanne hesitated before she nodded slowly. “I’m sorry for your loss, and not just for her death, Ripley,” she told me. “Patricia was…well, a ‘free spirit’ would be putting it gently. She always assumed the world would be there for her whenever she needed it.”
Staring at her for a long moment, I shook my head. “Why? Why come here and hire me?”
“I thought that would be obvious,” she said, smiling. “Your mother was so passionate about this place and once I found out your college major, I figured you would be as well.”
“Did you know that I hate her?” At that, Suzanne’s expression froze on the edge of shock. “She…she left us,” I whispered. “Didn’t tell us who she was or what she really did for a living and gave us no closure. And even when she was here, it was just visiting. Her real home was her work. She could give me all the presents she wanted, but even when she was here, half the time she was still on her computer doing work. It’s not like that stereotype of never making it to my tennis practice or something; it’s that it always felt like she was only partially here, even when I was sitting next to her. I don’t even know if I appreciate her turning me into a wildlife fanatic because it…it…makes me feel like I’m close to her in a way that’s just infuriating. She loved the animals more than she loved us.”
“Oh, Ripley-”
“Don’t,” I said, shoving myself to my feet. “Don’t try to convince me otherwise.”
“I wasn’t going to,” she said quietly. I pursed my lips. “I was going to say that I’m sorry that was the case. Your mother was…flawed, just like any other person. She had two loves in this world: her family and her work. And often, her work overcame her, her zeal for environmentalism getting in the way of being a good mum. She left your father trying to fill the role of two parents, holding your family together. You and your brother and your father, you all deserved better than that.”
My lower lip quivered but I bit down on it hard. It would’ve been a lot easier for me if she’d been speaking from a place of clueless reassurance about all this. But everything she said was making sense and that meant I didn’t have someone in front of me to be angry with.
“Why didn’t you tell me when Andrew hired me?” I sighed, sitting back down on the couch.
“Well, like I said, I wanted you to find your sea legs,” she said with a small smile. “I didn’t want the truth affecting whether or not you wanted to work here, whether you wanted to stay here after finding out about what the animals are. It would’ve complicated things, the emotions you’ll have to work through now that you know the truth. Whether or not you decide to give another tour, you also know what they’re like. That’s the benchmark I wanted you to reach before you found out about who you are.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Who I-” My face went slack. “Wait.”
Suzanne nodded slowly. “You’re only half human. Your brother too.”
The room seemed to tilt on an axis for a moment. “That means I’m also half…what?”
“We call ourselves Eldritch, these days,” she replied.
My eyes bugged out. “What?” I exclaimed. “So you’re all, like, gods or something?”
Suzanne burst out laughing. “Oh no, goodness, no,” she chuckled. “It’s just a word. We live in a very different world from this one, and a few generations ago we discovered the word and it made its way into our lexicon. But it does mean you can see all the animals. Indeed you did, on the tour you gave.”
“Wait, no, I had the glasses that…” I stopped. “Did those glasses do anything?”
She gave a sly smile and shook her head. “Not a thing. You made incredibly quick progress, and then when it came time for the tour, all you needed was to expect to see the animals, and you did.”
Genetics. That’s what Andrew had said during our interview, that part of how many animals you could see was determined by genetics. I guess having a mother who was originally from the other dimension gave me all the genes I needed to see everything here. “Could I…visit your world?” I asked tentatively. “You said that my mom took photos of the animals there. Could I…” My voice trailed off, not even sure if or how I wanted to finish that sentence.
“Those who are half human, especially those who are raised on Earth, don’t come visit,” she said gently. “I could show you some photos of other animals, and I could loan you as many books as you’d like, but it’s simply not a place where you’d be safe.”
“Oh,” I said, leaning into the couch cushion as I pictured the animals in the zoo. “Yeah, actually that…makes sense.” I paused. “So, what now?”
“It’s up to you,” she said. “I wanted to wait until I was sure you were comfortable with your position here, and then put the ball in your court. And so it is. What do you want to do now?”
What did I want to do? It wasn’t that difficult a question, just a deep, serious one.
I wanted to thrive, as the animals did. This is my enrichment now, working at an incredible, wonderful, terrifying zoo. The experience so far hasn’t been perfect, and I know there are risks, but life isn’t about staying safe. It’s about learning new things and making a difference in the world. And, if you’re lucky, having a job that’s something really special.
​
THE END
​
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Hi guys, i made a short post last week. Please read this one before continuing here. But anyways today was another bad performance on my end today and id like to just vent or explain what went on and why im frustrated.
So its been a week since my last post and during that time my ocd/anxiety latched onto the idea that i had some sort of ED. So throughout the week i jerked off numerous and i mean NUMEROUS times standing and a little bit sitting to "test/prove/" that my dick isnt effected by a physical form of ED. This was proven to be the case when me and my love got off to each over a video call with me standing and so on. Fast forward to today and she came over and I wanted to try and see if everything was working fine now.
We started out amazing kissing, foreplay, and even standing at the bed with her doing oral on me was amazing for a solid 10ish minutes. But then right when it was time to actually do vaginal and our usual positions its like I lost all of my drive. I started to think about last week and go "what if i cant do it or it gets soft" and sure enough it did. I got like butterflies in my stomach and it felt like something was just metaphorically blocking the hornyness from coming through all the way in my head. It almoat felt like i had a terrible headache or someone was pinching the pathway that was letting the horny come out. After this happened we both communicated. I told her how angry i am that this is happening, and of course we are committed partners and have been together for 7 years so she said she loves me no matter what and its ok shit happens. She said its ok and its not a big deal + we had amazing foreplay beforehand.
Im am just at a loss personally. Im hurt and angry that something mentally is effecting me from staying rock solid and performing like i usually do. We have never had a problem in 7 years of being together. Again, we are both 24, I have diabetes type 1 and highblood pressure/anxiety OCD. But everything with my health is stable and under control with zero complications. The ONLY think that is different (the last time we had rough amazing sex was the last week of April) is that I started a new internship/volunteer work for my career 2 weeks ago and it is the first "job job" in my career outside of college. I am a graphic designer and the constant need to sit and be creative can sometimes be draining but I of course love it. Lastly, my partners brother was an absolute dick two weeks ago and was trying to start drama where it didnt need to be at all and everyone got extremely agitated and bothered by him including me so theres been family stress too. I'm think maybe the lifestyle switch is maybe enough stress to fuck things up for me? Because otherwise I have no idea whats been going on in these two weeks thats fucked up my drive.
Thank you for reading everyone, i really appreciate it and look forward to your replies!
TLDR; Bad performance in bed, anxiety/stress from life may be mentally blocking me from completing sexual experiences.

Gender : Female Race : South Asian Age : 45 Years Already condition existing: Thyroid
My mother has been experiencing a constant fever every third day for the past three months. When the fever occurs, she has the following symptoms:

• Fever ( 100-101 degree Celsius)
• Slight chills
• Pain in her limbs and feet

Doctors have done all the necessary tests, but all the reports come back normal, and the doctors have tried every medication but are unable to determine the cause of the fever.
Her medical history includes a small infection in the small intestine, which seems to be treated now. However, she has colitis, gastritis, and an enlarged liver.
Could anyone provide insights or suggestions on what might be causing these recurring fevers? And what type of doctor should I contact now which help in diagnosing this condition.

Hi all. Just found this sub. I was officially diagnosed last month when the MRI results came back. It all started for me after my TBI 8 years ago. I've been through many working theories of what this might be: vestibular migraines, inner ear infections (like the part that looks like a snail). Diagnosis wasn't easy as my hearing loss is already permanent (I was in a coma and awoke from that with a unilateral hearing loss, of course it was the side affected by Meniere's too), and all symptoms persist for upwards of a week at a time.
I'm on Betahistine for the dizziness, and it's amazingly effective. But has anyone found anything that helps the nausea or headache? Advil and gravol don't touch it