This just happened so I’m hoping to get advice before we have to end our trip. We’re staying at a hotel that gives the option to charge things to your room via a wristband. When we got back to the room, I got an alert that my bank account was charged almost $1500 through the hotel we’re staying at. After some back and forth on the phone with the front desk, I walked down to view the receipts they had said I signed. While we were out, someone had made three separate purchases of over $400 each, charging it to my room, verbally giving our room number, and even signing my signature. Only 2 of us have the wristbands linked to our room and my debit card was accounted for the whole time. The staff and security were obviously apologetic and got to work right away but I requested a room change and have to wait until Monday for the total account to be refunded to my bank. They haven’t mentioned any refunds for the room or anything like that, but the couple people I’d told think Im owed a comped stay. This has put a stressor on our vacation as well as my bank account for the time being. I feel like this is a big deal but also have a hard time being firm with the hotel staff about wanting some kind of compensation for the trouble. Am I justified in thinking this way?

I’m currently on S1E6 and I’m so happy I came across this show. I’m a sitcom lover and I find Greek so charming.
I grew up in the early 2000’s watching Disney channel and always tried to let my parents let me stay up to watch Zoey 101.
Fast forward to now, if I was high school/college aged in the early 2000’s, Greek would easily be one of my favourite shows. And, appropriately, it is becoming one of my favs. There’s something about the early 2000’s nostalgia (flip phones, Justin Bieber haircuts, The Plain White Ts) that is making this a comfort show for me.
All in all, I’m super happy to watch Greek for the first time. I could see myself doing rewatches of this show (if it holds up in later seasons) as I’ve done with Friends, How I Met Your Mother, and The Office!

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Capable_Goal_6116
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
My husband got a vasectomy and didn’t tell me
Trigger Warnings: accusations of infidelity, emotional abuse and manipulation, betrayal
Original Post: May 18, 2024
Throwaway bc my husband knows my main. I don’t know what to do. My (31F) husband (32M) - fake name Chris, and I have been married for four years, together for six. When we first got together we had several long talks about how we both wanted a big family. I wanted to be very upfront that child free is not an option, and I said I wanted to have at least four kids. I’m an only child and know how lonely it is, I also said I wanted to have them about a yeayear and a half apart so they could grow up close.
He always wholeheartedly agreed to this and often made jokes like “whether we have 4 or 6, have as many as we want, it’s your call since you pretty much have to do all the work” and on our wedding day before we left the reception for our honeymoon he whispered “can we get outta here and get started on baby #1?” I loved how excited he seemed. To be clear I didn’t go off my BC until about two months after we were married and I got pregnant soon after with our first daughter Joy.
Joy was a happy pregnancy, long birth, but she was a beautiful, healthy baby. She went through colic which was trying, but other than that she was a happy first addition according to me. I noticed Chris became distant during my first pregnancy, but when I asked him about it he just said he had a lot in his mind being a new father. He said he was still excited, but something changed. For reference, we both work full time, I make about 20K more a year than him, and the five bedroom house that we live in was a gift from my mom who was very excited to be a grandma to many. My job is fully remote, but still offers maternity leave, and I have a nest egg savings for emergencies, and feel it’s important to mention this because I know finances can be a major stress factor when it comes to having kids, but not for me and Chris.
Then Joy came out perfectly, Chris had three months of paternity leave and was home with us for majority of that time. My mom visited a lot, and paid to have cleaners come. There were still a lot of long nights and it was tough for me to breastfeed, but overall nothing unexpected. Chris still seemed distant, but always helped with Joy. We have an agreed open phone policy, so I did check his phone quite often but didn’t find any sign of cheating. He goes through my phone whenever he wants too. I asked if he found me unattractive while pregnant and he assured me no, he loves me and he’s excited for our family.
Fast forward a year after, we’re sleeping through the night and I am back to work, saw my doctor and was cleared to try for bundle of joy #2, and Chris seemed very enthusiastic at this point. He even downloaded an app to track my fertility cycle so we could make the most of my ovulation times.
We had a lot of fun and he was always very passionate, but six months of trying with no pregnancy I started to worry. I’d voice my concerns and Chris would brush them off, so I tried to be patient, but then almost two years passed and Joy is growing up by herself.
I broke down to my mother crying and she agreed to come with me to the doctor to get checked out. I was very emotional and scared, but the doctor assured me everything is fine and that I should be able to conceive without any issues.
I went to Chris with this knowledge and he was very upset I went to a fertility specialist. I explained I thought something might have gone wrong during my last pregnancy, concerned that I was maybe blocked or infertile somehow. He said why not wait and “just let nature take its course” and I said “our little girl is almost three, and growing up by herself.” I reminded him of our plans and he just nodded and said all we can do is try. I asked if he would see a fertility specialist and he got angry, saying there’s nothing wrong with him and we don’t have the money for fertility treatments anyway. This confused me since we do have money, we have my savings and are doing pretty well.
When he went to sleep I decided to go through his phone again and went back through his calendar and call logs. I noticed about eight months after Joy was born there was a blocked day indicating he’d taken off from work, but it was in the middle of the week and I don’t remember any sort of special occasions behind why he’d take this random day off. I went through the call logs and found an office number about a week before and when I googled the number a local business where you could get a vasectomy appeared! I couldn’t believe what I was looking at. I instantly felt cold all over then started to panic.
I woke him up and confronted him. He just stared at me while I went off and admitted babies were harder than he thought and he felt like my first pregnancy took forever.
I couldn’t believe it. I packed my things, Joy and her things and drove to my mom’s house. She is in distress with my sudden appearance and my inability to stop crying. I finally told her yesterday morning what happened and she’s just beside herself. I don’t know what to do, but every time I think about how during sex Chris would talk to me about giving me a baby and he’d had the vasectomy the entire time. I feel so disgusted and stupid. I can’t believe my little girl is going to grow up alone. Chris has been blowing up my phone, but I just keep letting it ring and haven’t read any of his texts.
Edit: to those saying I “coerced” my “poor husband” into agreeing to a big family, nope. I was always open and honest about my dreams, told him it’s okay if he wanted different things, and he not only repetitively agreed and accepted, he also helped me plan, nest, put together the nursery and enthusiastically participated in conversations regarding having multiple children around friends and family, and always said we’d have at least 4. That was our number. Him getting a vasectomy behind my back was a complete shock.
Also, we’ve both always agreed to the open phone policy. I never “betrayed his trust” by going through his phone since I always had his consent to do so and he has mine. We even have the same phone pass code. I never wanted to be in a relationship where we kept secrets from each other. I know other couples feel different, but this is another thing he always 100% claimed he agreed with me on.
I vaguely remember one week where he actually turned me down for sex claiming he had a “head cold” and he didn’t join me in the shower like usual during that time, but I didn’t think anything about it. And no, men never need a wife’s signature to get vasectomy.
Comments
FantasticAnus: There's nothing wrong with child number one changing his mind, but he should have been open and honest about that and said that he wouldn't be having any more children, and then it would have been up to you as to whether you could live with that, or move on from him.
What he did, however, was duplicitous and manipulative. I don't think I could stay with a man who was so willing to keep such an enormous lie from me, one which impacts me, my daughter and my future enormously.
MyUsernameIsMehh: He has every right to not want more kids, you have every right to want more.
What he did not have the right to do was fool you for years. Men who have had vasectomies but hide it and "try for a baby" are beyond disgusting. Their wives think something is wrong with them, they go to specialists and sometimes spend a LOT of money on fertility treatments.
He's a spineless little shit (pardon my words, but it's true) who pushed you to have breakdowns over this.
He had every right to get a vasectomy, he didn't need your permission, but he had NO RIGHT to hide it and pretend you two were trying for another child.
 
Update: May 24, 2024
Some of you made some comments about my mom gifting my husband and I a house, paying for occasional cleaning services implying that Chris feels somehow emasculated by this, also implying I am “too financially dependent on my mom.” I make very good money, I have a sizable savings and don’t need any help, my mom was excited to buy this house for us as a wedding present. My dad passed away when I was young, he was wealthy and left my mom everything, so she shares his love since I’m her only kid. I make more money than Chris and always have. Yes his name is on the house, so yeah I’m gonna get screwed over in the divorce.
Some of you complained I “broke his trust” by going through his phone. He goes through my phone too. We have the same passcode. Some comments called this agreement between us unhinged, which to me is bizarre. Chris, I thought, was my soulmate, my husband and best friend. We don’t have secrets. I thought. Isn’t that the whole point of marriage? To finally have one person in the whole world you can tell everything to? To always be on the same team? Obviously I was wrong, and as many of you pointed out, that kind of love, trust and openness doesn’t really exist, and none of that matters now.
Chris and Joy seemed fine to me, but in hindsight there’s always been a hesitation on his part. I always thought it was just typical since the short while my dad was alive in my life I don’t really remember him being affectionate or warm. He was nice and played with me sometimes, but I don’t remember being held by him very much. I asked Chris many times if everything was okay when I noticed he was distant. He always said things were great, and give an excuse; just tired, work is draining, no big deal.
We’re in the US, and here a man can go get a vasectomy at any time. I don’t know what Chris told his doctor. For all I know he took his wedding ring off and gave a sob story, or probably just walked in and asked for the procedure. It doesn’t matter.
I’m really thankful for my mother. She’s heartbroken for me, and like many of you, she already knows my marriage is over. There’s been a lot of long nights of me crying that she’s endured.
I’m numb when I’m not crying, and keep getting this creepy feeling that nothing matters. We’re getting a divorce. I finally called Chris and he sobbed he was sorry, said he might be able to get it reversed. I’ve read a lot about vasectomies since my last post, and sometimes it can’t be reversed. It’s always a risk.
Again, it doesn’t matter. It’s not actually about the vasectomy. It’s that the person who I thought was the one person in the world that I could trust, that I was on the same page as, literally writing the book together, made this decision without me and kept it from me and the lied for years. I really thought what we had was true love. Now I’m pretty certain that doesn’t even exist.
Chris has not offered any explanation. He cried, begged my forgiveness and said again that he could get it reversed. Even if he can, the rest is irreversible. He never once answered my question. It’s really painful to talk to him, so after three times of asking and him each time dodging answering, and begging forgiveness, I finally just said to please leave the house and told him he’d hear from my lawyer.
He texted that he’s packed and left, and I haven’t heard from him since. He never once asked about Joy.
My lawyer says I might wind up paying alimony, but I might be able to get the house since it was a gift from my mother and Chris has never made any financial contribution. He also says Chris committed a kind of infidelity since he went behind my back to have this life altering procedure and admitted it, so that might help me.
To everyone telling me it’s gonna be okay, and I can still have more children…all of that seems impossible right now. My heart is broken. I’ve never experienced such sadness and the only relief is when I’m playing with my daughter. Her happiness is infectious. She is blissfully unaware, having the time of her life at grandma’s, but unlike her father she actually asks where’s da da?
I called work and took a medical leave of absence. I found a therapist.
My mom has offered to stay with me for a while, as well as hire a nanny.
Comments
BrightAd306: I agree with you. It’s not the vasectomy. It’s lying about it and defrauding you. Wanting your money, but not being a true partner.
Listen to your lawyer. Do what he says, and you’ll come out the other side. Even if you pay alimony, it won’t be forever
DangerNoodleDandy: I agree. The vasectomy and the fact that he hid it are a symptom of a greater issue.
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

Hello everyone. 1st off, I would like to thank everyone for their kind words. I have had a very stressful week and while I did not feel up to replying to anyone's posts, I want you all to know that I read them and your words helps me through the week. This has been a devastating event for me and each and every one of you that commented or reached out through chat brightened my day just a tiny bit. With that said, here is the most recent update.
Last Friday night, after my buddies got to the hotel, I explained what I had heard on the phone call. All 3 of them were stunned to say the least. They asked if I had saw any signs of this, and TBH, I really hadn't. I said I didn't know what I was going to do. I informed my one buddy that the proposal was off, and given the circumstances, he completely understood. One thing I had my buddies do when they left their houses is turn off tracking, incase their significant others were checking and getting back to Rachel. I know Rachel isn't close with one of the wives, but at this point, I didn't want to take any chances.
That night, we spent the night at the hotel bar and I tail spun pretty hard. Shot after shot after shot. It wasn't pretty. My buddies were getting calls all night from the SO's asking where they were, and to their credit, they stood their ground and backed me up, just saying that we were safe and not to worry. One asked to speak with me after assuming that where they were, but I didn't want to talk to her. She kept saying Rachel is worried and just wants me to come home. I just told my buddy to deal with it and I'll fill them in another time. I spent most of the night hitting on the bartender (which I'm not proud of), and a couple of girls who were traveling for work. The next day, I thanked them all for spending time with me and they took of back home.
This week, I had one of my buddies scope out the house we were renting as it was on his way to work and he gets to work after Rachel and I would have already left for the day. Rachel had taken Monday and Tuesday off, but went back to work on Wednesday. As soon as he informed of this, I went to the house and started packing as much stuff as I could. The house was a mess. Dishes in the sink, clothes laying everywhere, trash was full of takeout and ordered food. It took me about 3 1/2 hours to get all my crap out. Before I left, I cleaned up for Rachel as a final gesture. That afternoon and evening, I got flooded by Rachel with calls and texts after she realized that I had came home and gotten all of my things. So, for now, I'm now staying at my mother's house until I can find a a place of my own this fall. I spoke with the landlord, and without Rachel's signature, he won't remove me from the lease, meaning I will have to cover my half of it until October. My mom has said I can stay with her until then, at which point I will try to find a new place. I know, a 38 year old moving back in with his mother. How amazing life has treated me.
I finally contacted Rachel on Thursday, and told her we could meet up at a local bar and grill downtown Friday evening. I told her one of my buddies would be attending to make sure everything was on the up and up. She complained for a few minutes, saying she wanted me to come home and talk with her so we could move past this, but I told her if she wanted to see me, this was how it was going to be. Eventually, she agreed.
So Friday night, Rachel shows up after my buddy and I had been there for about an hour. I had already ate and took a couple shots of Ciroc to calm me. We sat down and she wanted to make small talk, asking about me and blah blah blah. I cut that garbage off. I told her I had a list of questions. Immediately, he eyes welled up. I asked her how long has this been going on? She swore this was the 1st and only time. I told her to cut off the shit. I said there was no change we were ever getting back together, so just tell me the truth, so I can have my closure, and move on with my life. She stuck to her guns for a few minutes, but then (as most of your predicted), she came clean. Every time I went on those trips for the past 2 years, she thought I was going to "cheat" on her, so she was having her fun too. This set me off. I told her she was using this as a f'n excuse just to sleep around. I then asked who she was talking on the phone with, but she refused to give me an answer for this. I asked if they used condoms, and she said sometimes. I said she's lucky I got an STD test, cause I'm clean, so she doesn't have to worry about getting one, unless her most recent "horse" didn't use one. Finally, before I left, I told her about my plans. July 4th proposal, I showed her the ring, and told her that I was gonna propose at our friends party, because that was where they introduced us. It was around here that she just started crying. She begged for another chance. I told her that I will always love her, but we are over.
So yeah, she's been messaging me all day, but I'm going to block her here soon. So I'm just sitting here eating some B Dubs and drinking beer while watching the fights. Hopefully, Poirier wins, but I'm doubting it. Ahhh my life is a train wreck. Anyway, thanks guys for listening. I don't know if I'll update again, as I doubt I will ever talk to that see u next Tuesday again.

You’re free to use/monetize/paywall; I just request credit and a link to listen to it. This, and all my work, are available on Scriptbin if that's more accessible!
Tagline: God, they’re gorgeous, gorgeous, sweet, hot as hell even after a day of work- oh my god, what did they say? I missed it.
Tone: familiar, affectionate, domestic
Setting; SFX: Home and the mind; none and a slight echo
WC: 1,127; ~10 - 12 minutes
[Footsteps, pause, keys jangling] (Internally, distracted, vaguely to the tune of BTS’s “Dynamite”) Cause I- I- I’m in the stars tonight/ so watch me bring the funk and the fire light/ buh buh buh buh little funk and soul/ buh buh buh buh dynamite-!
[Door opening] (Aloud, muffled) Baby, I’m hooooome! Are you home too?
[Footsteps] (Internally, rambling) My baby, my baby, my baby- (To the tune of Justin Bieber’s “Baby”) Baby, baby, baby, ohhh~!
[Fabric rustling of a hug] (Aloud, close) Hey, I missed you!
[Kiss] What’s for dinner? Do you need any help making it? It smells really good.
If you’re sure. Since nothing needs doing, can I stay here close to you?
Awesome~ How was your day? Was it alright? I don’t think you were scheduled to beat me home.
(Internally, affectionate) How do they smell so good after a whole day of work? What kind of bullshit is that? It’s a good thing we’re like this, me hugging them from behind because I probably smell like sweat and, like, traffic somehow.
Should I go take a shower?
Mm, but then I’ll get sleepy.
And then I’d have to stop hugging them.
Do they want me to stop hugging them?
[Pause] (Pleased) Nahh, they’ve got that little smile I like, they’re good. I love that little smile; it’s a shame I can’t really kiss them at this angle. Ooh, maybe they’ll shower with me later. Then I can kiss them in the shower-
Oh, they’re looking at me~
Oh god, they’re looking at me. They want to respond, and I was not fucking listening. Fuck.
(Aloud, sheepish) What was that?
I heard you. Listening, on the other hand…
How pretty you look, how warm and nice you feel, the usual. I’m sorry; rewind for me?
(Internally, focused) Mhmm, commute. Mhmm, time sheets. Mhmm, capitalism. Hum thoughtfully. We are actively listening like a good partner.
(Aloud) Oh, good! I’m glad you liked the lunch I made you! It traveled alright?
Cool. I thought I’d try out one of those foodie youtube channels I put on in the background while I work. Turns out they were trying to teach me things!
Yeah! I learned what a chiffonade is and re-learned where we keep the bandaids.
Oh yeah, no, I’m not wearing this Star Wars bandaid for fashion; microplanes are evil.
Aww, thank you, baby! That was so cute; you’re so cute.
(Internally, giddy) Kiss, kiss, kiss, I got a kiss. I got kissed. Thank you, Darth Vader, for getting me a kiss. What can I do to get another kiss?
(Aloud) Do you want me to finish dinner since you got home first and started it? You could sit and chill.
[Laugh] I can handle a stove and a pot, promise.
I like the sound of that; deal~
(Internally) They make dinner, I make lunch. That sounds fun. I’ll have to find more YouTube channels to follow to get ideas and recipes. What should I make tomorrow? We have avocados in the fridge that are on their last legs, I think. I can do something with those.
Damn, thinking about avocados made me hungry. I wonder when dinner will be ready; it looks good.
Not as good as them, ha.
Their neck looks good. I kind of want to bite it.
No, no biting while cooking, we’ve established this. Maybe a kiss instead.
[Kiss, pause, laugh] (Aloud) I love you too.
(Internally) Love. I love them. I love them so, so much. I love them more every day. I will love them every day, all of my days.
I should marry them.
Is that weird?
Nahh, we’ve been together a while. We live together. We love each other. Who wouldn’t want to marry them? They’re perfect.
So perfect. Marriage-material perfect.
(Panicked) Am I marriage-material perfect?
Oh god, I’d hope they want to marry me too.
What if they don’t? What do I do? How do I become better? How-
(Aloud) Huh?
[Ahh sound, swallow, pleased hum] (Blissful) It’s perfect. Of course it’s perfect; you made it.
Aw, that was nothing. Look forward to what I make you for lunch once we do a proper grocery run.
(Internally) They’d definitely want to marry me too. Then everyday would be like this with cooking and cuddling and everything but with rings… and tax benefits!
And a honeymoon! Where should we go? I’ve always wanted to take them on a cruise~
I should propose to them first. I should ask their best friend the best way to do that. And what kind of ring to get.
Should I start working on my vows?
(Aloud) Hmm? What?
(Bashful) Am I?
I’m just smiling about stuff, about how good dinner looks and smells. Thank you, baby, for that.
(Playful) Well, what do you think I was thinking about then, nosy? Hmm?
[Laugh] I’m not up to anything except loving you, silly. Scout’s honor.
Yeah, but I’m your cheeseball, and you like it.
Don’t you?
[Pause, kiss, laugh into kiss] Believe me, I am fully aware how lucky I am that I’m cute, and I count my blessings every day, you being one of them.
The others are, in no particular order: your face, your eyes, your mouth, the things your mouth do-
[Laugh] (Jokingly whiny) Nooo, you can’t deprive me of dinner after I watched you make it! That’s torture!
I’ll do anything.
I can definitely manage plates and cutlery; you got it~
[Footsteps, clatter] (Internally) Plates, plates,
plaaaates… let’s do the nice ones, the good dishes, the pretty stuff.
Where did we get this? Thrift shopping?
Oh god, I hope these aren’t those radioactive, uranium plates.
How would I find out if they are? A Geiger counter?
Where would I even get a Geiger counter?
Should I ask them? They would know; they’re so smart.
No- maybe don’t ask about how to detect radioactivity when plating their food. That would not go over well.
(Aloud) These ones good?
Rad- I’ll give you these then, and I’ll go get condiments and drinks. Wanna finish that bottle of wine in the fridge?
Fuck yeah, I’ll get the stemware; we’ll live fancy. Want to watch Bridgerton while we eat, lean into the fancy vibes?
Damn, you’re right, I forgot we're all caught up for now. Wanna watch one of my food channels with me? I’ve been getting really into Mythical Kitchen recently.
(Playfully defensive) …they make more than bile cheesecake and wasabi waffles.
[Footsteps] (Fading out) Noooo, no take-backs! You said I could keep making you lunches, and I’m not going to make you anything gross! It’s all going to be good!
(Internally) Note to self, cancel that order for pickled pigs feet. I don’t think they’re ready for pig foot fajitas… yet.

Hey y'all, it’s been a while.
A huge thank you again to everyone who followed along last summer counting down the Top 131 FBS Programs of the Last 40 Years, which spanned 133 days and counted down to the season. For those unfamiliar with it, TL;DR, I ranked each FBS program over the last 40 years using my “proprietary” ranking algorithm, which scores a team’s season based on their strength of schedule, margin of victory, and record. Thanks again to everyone who donated, UMeister and the mod team who got the final ranking on the sub banner, all the people who subscribed on Substack, and all the commenters and readers. It truly was an insane time, some of the most fun I’ve ever had.
With that, we’re due for a few updates.
Last time a bunch of people were asking about a coffee table book, and I mentioned I’d be working on turning the series into one. Unfortunately, I haven’t made much progress. Last September I met with a publishing agency over the phone, but they decided the book wasn’t a fit for them. From there, I put things on pause to focus on my personal life and work. I still plan to publish a book in the future, but things are on hold until I can fully commit to it.
Last but not least…I got another series coming this July. Much shorter this time, but another countdown to the season starting July 7, 2 PM ET. I won’t reveal too much, but it’s a simulation with stats, storylines, helmet stickers, awards, and I think it’ll be pretty hype. So move any events you have scheduled for that day including weddings and baby showers.

40 Year FBS Ranking Update, 2024 Edition

Rank	Team	Link to Original Post	Overall Score	Record	Ranking Change
1	Alabama	Link	50812	393-121-2	0
2	Ohio State	Link	49787	396-102-5	0
3	Florida State	Link	48283	376-125-4	0
4	Oklahoma	Link	47407	374-126-4	0
5	Florida	Link	44607	352-146-3	0
6	Michigan	Link	44282	355-137-5	2
7	Georgia	Link	43798	366-137-4	0
8	Miami (FL)	Link	42719	349-144	-2
9	Clemson	Link	41813	356-147-3	1
10	Nebraska	Link	41652	342-156-1	-1
11	Penn State	Link	41075	343-149-1	1
12	USC	Link	40956	333-159-5	-1
13	LSU	Link	40472	335-156-4	0
14	Notre Dame	Link	40366	335-157-2	0
15	Texas	Link	38144	323-169-3	1
16	Tennessee	Link	37800	323-166-7	1
17	Auburn	Link	37737	326-165-5	-2
18	Oregon	Link	36954	330-162	0
19	Washington	Link	34256	295-188-3	3
20	Texas A&M	Link	33561	320-172-2	0
21	Virginia Tech	Link	33544	315-179-4	-2
22	Wisconsin	Link	33169	305-187-5	-1
23	Iowa	Link	31777	305-184-6	0
24	Boise State	Link	30360	271-85	1
25	West Virginia	Link	29666	296-186-4	-1
26	Oklahoma State	Link	29429	286-198-3	1
27	Kansas State	Link	29237	277-208-3	3
28	Michigan State	Link	28954	278-204-4	1
29	UCLA	Link	28877	277-203-3	-3
30	TCU	Link	27930	289-192-1	1
31	BYU	Link	27905	338-171-2	-3
32	Utah	Link	27145	302-182-1	1
33	Stanford	Link	27049	246-224-4	-1
34	Arkansas	Link	26132	261-222-3	0
35	Colorado	Link	25466	243-235-4	0
36	Georgia Tech	Link	25199	263-220-4	0
37	Louisville	Link	24940	275-207-2	1
38	Arizona State	Link	23646	258-214-3	-1
39	Syracuse	Link	23427	252-226-4	0
40	NC State	Link	23130	269-216-3	4
41	South Carolina	Link	22994	249-224-6	-1
42	North Carolina	Link	22887	253-229-3	0
43	Ole Miss	Link	22745	255-219-3	6
44	Virginia	Link	22729	254-225-4	-3
45	Arizona	Link	22237	242-227-5	0
46	Boston College	Link	21875	257-228-2	-3
47	Texas Tech	Link	21790	268-216-1	-1
48	Fresno State	Link	21749	302-191-3	0
49	Air Force	Link	20891	299-191-1	1
50	Toledo	Link	20622	295-177-5	2
51	Pittsburgh	Link	20548	244-234-5	-4
52	Baylor	Link	20187	229-245-1	-1
53	Cincinnati	Link	20008	254-224-2	0
54	Missouri	Link	19896	234-241-5	1
55	Washington State	Link	18912	222-245-2	-1
56	Mississippi State	Link	18651	234-243-2	0
57	Houston	Link	18092	243-233-2	0
58	Maryland	Link	17372	219-248-3	0
59	California	Link	17098	216-250-4	0
60	Minnesota	Link	15850	226-249-2	2
61	Southern Miss	Link	15630	255-225-1	-1
62	Marshall	Link	15428	209-131	1
63	Northwestern	Link	15134	208-265-3	4
64	Oregon State	Link	14986	197-271-3	5
65	UCF	Link	14848	198-147	1
66	Purdue	Link	14674	205-265-4	-2
67	Illinois	Link	14620	197-269-5	-6
68	Miami (OH)	Link	14148	225-234-8	4
69	Bowling Green	Link	14031	239-226-5	-4
70	Kentucky	Link	13742	215-259-1	0
71	San Diego State	Link	13459	248-231-5	0
72	Wake Forest	Link	13039	210-260-2	1
73	Northern Illinois	Link	13026	241-234-2	-5
74	Western Michigan	Link	12391	242-222-3	0
75	Hawaii	Link	11946	244-256-5	1
76	East Carolina	Link	11401	220-253-1	-1
77	Navy	Link	11349	222-255-1	1
78	Appalachian State	Link	11215	95-35	2
79	Central Michigan	Link	10824	228-233-8	-2
80	Memphis	Link	10763	217-252-5	2
81	Wyoming	Link	10676	234-243-1	2
82	Colorado State	Link	10551	224-253-1	-3
83	Iowa State	Link	10441	187-282-5	1
84	Rutgers	Link	9917	190-272-5	2
85	Tulsa	Link	9552	215-261-1	-4
86	Louisiana Tech	Link	9514	209-205-4	-1
87	Troy	Link	8776	159-125	5
88	Nevada	Link	8677	201-187	-1
89	South Florida	Link	8661	149-141	-1
90	Indiana	Link	8058	181-282-3	0
91	Ball State	Link	7974	210-251-4	-2
92	Louisiana	Link	7817	223-248-1	-1
93	Kansas	Link	6902	171-295-2	3
94	Duke	Link	6767	167-301-2	4
95	Army	Link	6684	203-266-2	0
96	Ohio	Link	6676	203-261-6	1
97	San Jose State	Link	6291	198-268-3	-4
98	SMU	Link	5860	179-266-3	-4
99	Liberty	Link	5324	53-23	2
100	Utah State	Link	4650	198-270-1	-1
101	Western Kentucky	Link	4529	106-99	-1
102	Coastal Carolina	Link	3539	52-35	0
103	James Madison	Link	2771	19-5	7
104	UTSA	Link	2706	80-69	3
105	Middle Tennessee	Link	2591	147-156	-2
106	Georgia Southern	Link	2488	65-61	-1
107	Rice	Link	2211	174-286-2	1
108	Temple	Link	1983	163-301	-4
109	Vanderbilt	Link	1790	146-316-1	-3
110	Tulane	Link	1741	177-297	1
111	UAB	Link	1524	140-169	-2
112	Jacksonville State	NEW	874	9-4	NEW
113	UConn	Link	-280	110-169	-1
114	Arkansas State	Link	-457	163-219-1	-1
115	Sam Houston	NEW	-821	3-9	NEW
116	FAU	Link	-1178	96-134	-2
117	Old Dominion	Link	-1240	46-65	-1
118	New Mexico	Link	-1614	167-308	-3
119	Eastern Michigan	Link	-1932	161-294-5	-2
120	South Alabama	Link	-2360	60-88	-2
121	Georgia State	Link	-3272	51-83	-2
122	UNLV	Link	-3612	160-305-1	-2
123	Akron	Link	-4317	150-273-3	-2
124	North Texas	Link	-4424	133-216	-2
125	UTEP	Link	-5233	154-315-2	-1
126	Buffalo	Link	-5587	103-193	-1
127	Charlotte	Link	-6147	32-71	-4
128	Kent State	Link	-6250	138-317-1	-2
129	Texas State	Link	-6663	48-97	-1
130	FIU	Link	-7398	78-147	-3
131	ULM	Link	-8637	120-231	-2
132	New Mexico State	Link	-11116	125-333	-2
133	Massachusetts	Link	-13034	24-112	-2

Best/Worst Performers of 2024

Best Performers

Below are teams whose 2023 was a top 5 season for them relative to their last 50 years, according to my algorithm (really a top 10% season, so if you only played 10 seasons in the FBS in the last 50 years, your top 1 season).
Arizona 10-3 (7-2 Pac-12) - 3rd best season in 50 years: It’s not hard to see why Jedd Fisch was sought after this offseason. Reigning Pac-12 Freshman Offensive POTY QB Noah Fifita is part of a team that returns major contributors for 2024 including 1400 yard WR Tetairoa McMillan, looking to contend for a Playoff spot.
Duke 8-5 (4-4 ACC) - 3rd best / 50 years: Even with star QB Riley Leonard injured for most of the year, coach Mike Elko pulled enough strings to get Duke’s 3rd best season in the last 50 years! He joins the rarefied air of successful Duke coaches with Steve Spurrier and David Cutcliffe.
Georgia 13-1 (8-0 SEC) - 3rd best / 50 years: Obviously this is not actually Georgia’s 3rd best season as they have 3 national titles in the last 50 years, but in terms of their resume, they actually beat out the 1980 team for me. 63-3 over Florida State had them finish as my #2 team of 2023.
Jacksonville State 9-4 (6-2 C-USA) - 1st best / 1 year: Jacksonville State had 8 conference titles in the FCS from 2011-22, and Rich Rodriguez is their coach, so it’s not too surprising to see them with such a hot start in joining the FBS. Still, they were picked 7th in the Conference USA preseason media poll, but managed to finish 3rd.
James Madison 11-2 (7-1 Sun Belt) - 1st best / 2 years: James Madison’s had about as good of a transition from FCS to FBS as you can have, going 19-5 in 2 years. They probably would’ve made a New Year's 6 bowl had they not lost in their second to last regular season game.
Kansas 9-4 (5-4 Big 12) - 3rd best / 50 years: KANSAS IS BACK. You know you’ve made it when your QB (Jalon Daniels) was rumored to transfer to be Lincoln Riley’s starting QB. Kansas finished ranked for the first time in 16 years, and Lance Leipold looks like one of the best coaches in the country.
Liberty 13-1 (8-0 C-USA) - 1st best / 6 years: Say what you want about Liberty as a school and their Fiesta Bowl performance, this was a damn good team, averaging 40.8 PPG in the regular season while giving up just 22.7 PPG. QB Kaidon Salter was 3rd in the NCAA in passing efficiency behind Heisman winner Jayden Daniels and finalist Bo Nix.
Memphis 10-3 (6-2 AAC) - 3rd best / 50 years: Memphis continues a near decade-long run of unprecedented success, started by Justin Fuente and continued by Mike Norvell and now Ryan Silverfield. All 3 losses were to 11-win teams (Missouri, Tulane, SMU).
Michigan 15-0 (9-0 Big Ten) - 1st best / 50 years: For a program as successful as Michigan, it’s pretty crazy that 2023 might’ve been their best season of ALL TIME! Wolverine fans will have to correct me in the comments, but it really seemed like a storybook year between the Connor Stalions situation, final chapter of the Harbaugh era, and a perfect 15-0, undisputed record.
Missouri 11-2 (6-2 SEC) - 3rd best / 50 years: Miz. For a team whose 2023 oveunder win total was 6.5 coming into the year, with a coach on the hot seat, going 11-2 with 4 wins over Top 25 opponents qualifies as a success. 5 star WR Luther Burden will get the national attention, but 1600 yard RB Cody Schrader, a transfer from Division II Truman, was the unsung hero.
New Mexico State 10-5 (7-1 C-USA) - 1st best / 50 years: No matter what situation you put him in, Jerry Kill can coach, man. Taking a program like New Mexico State to a record like 10-5 is Coach of the Year stuff, as the Aggies’ previous best win total in the last 50 years was just 7. Shout-out to Diego Pavia pissing on the UNM logo.
Ohio 10-3 (6-2 MAC) - 2nd best / 50 years: For a program as successful as Ohio under Frank Solich, I’m really surprised their 2nd best year in the last 50 came under Tim Albin in 2023. Still no MAC title for these Cats, but they appear to be in good hands.
Ole Miss 11-2 (6-2 SEC) - 1st best / 50 years: Lane Kiffin has something brewing in Oxford. He’s now put up separate 11-2 and 10-3 seasons, the former of which I deemed Ole Miss’s best in the last 50 years. More proof that college football runs through USC (we taught Kiffin and Jaxson Dart everything they know)!
Oregon 12-2 (8-1 Pac-12) - 5th best / 50 years: Bo Nix’s stats were stupid last year. 77.4% completions for 4508 yards with 45 TD to just 3 INT. He was the most focused and had the most fun of his career, and finished as the NCAA’s all-time leader with 61 games started at QB.
Sam Houston 3-9 (2-6 C-USA) - 1st best / 1 year: I could’ve put this in the “Worst Performers” category, but I’ll be nice to you, Sam Houston State. Similar to FCS->FBS transition buddy Jacksonville State, they won 6 conference titles in the FCS from 2011-21, so I expect them to be a lot better in the next few years.
South Alabama 7-6 (4-4 Sun Belt) - 2nd best / 12 years: This was really a down year for South Alabama, as they were expected to compete for the Sun Belt title, but it was still their 2nd best season since moving up to the FBS. QB Carter Bradley leaves as the school’s all-time passing leader with 5995 yards.
SMU 11-3 (8-0 AAC) - 5th best / 48 years: This was SMU’s best season since 1984, around the time of the Pony Express. SMU won their first conference title in almost 40 years, and join the ACC next year as a dark horse contender as long as their Group of 5-level depth isn’t exposed.
Texas 12-2 (8-1 Big 12) - 5th best / 50 years: Yep, even for as good of a program as Texas is, Sark just put up one of the top 5 seasons in the last 50 years for the Longhorns. They had an all-star coaching staff featuring Sark, Kyle Flood, Pete Kwiatkowski, Jeff Choate, Tashard Choice, and Bo Davis, so no surprise last year was finally the breakthrough they’ve been waiting for.
Texas State 8-5 (4-4 Sun Belt) - 1st best / 12 years: GJ Kinne established himself as one of the hottest young coaches in the country, putting up 36.7 PPG in his first season and revitalizing the career of QB TJ Finley. He kind of botched the whole Finley/Jayden de Laura situation for 2024, but somehow lucked into 2023 Sun Belt POTY Jordan McCloud.
Troy 11-3 (7-1 Sun Belt) - 3rd best / 22 years: Jon Sumrall coached 2 seasons at Troy, with a 23-4 record, 2 Sun Belt titles, and 2 of the 3 best years in Troy FBS history. He will be missed.
Tulane 11-3 (8-0 AAC) - 4th best / 50 years: And here’s where Jon Sumrall went! The season didn’t quite go the way Tulane expected it to, averaging just 26.4 PPG while giving up 20.5 PPG, but they were 4-0 in one-possession games, getting to 11-1 before losing the AAC Championship and bowl game after Willie Fritz left.
UNLV 9-5 (6-2 MWC) - 4th best / 46 years: It’s a travesty that the sideline Turnover Slot Machine™ was removed for 2023, but UNLV obviously made the most of a bad situation. UNLV lost the Guaranteed Rate Bowl to Kansas in a game of “loser has to send their usual starting QB to USC to compete for Lincoln Riley’s starting QB job”, so Mountain West Freshman of the Year Jayden Maiava is now a Trojan. UNLV still has near-1500 yard WR Ricky White and offensive coordinator Brennan Marion, so the passing attack should still be just as potent.
Washington 14-1 (9-0 Pac-12) - 2nd best / 50 years: Similar to Michigan, this felt like a dream season for Washington up until the final game. They went 6-1 against Top 25 opponents with the only loss to #1 Michigan, beating #3 Texas, #5 Oregon, #8 Oregon, #11 Oregon State, #18 Utah, and #20 USC. The 2023 Huskies will go down as one of those “streets won’t forget” teams.

Worst Performers

Below are teams whose 2023 was a worst 5 season for them relative to their last 50 years, according to my algorithm.
Arizona State 3-9 (2-7 Pac-12) - 1st worst season in 50 years: While Arizona had one of their 3 best seasons of the last 50 years, Arizona State had their WORST much to the chagrin of Sun Devil fans. Still, hope is high for Kenny Dillingham who has the undesirable task of cleaning up Herm Edwards’ mess.
Arkansas 4-8 (1-7 SEC) - 5th worst / 50 years: It was a bad season for Arkansas, but mostly a “what if” year, losing 5 games by one possession. It ultimately ends up being a top 5 worst season in the last 50 years because the only Power 5 team they beat was Florida (lol).
Brigham Young 5-7 (2-7 Big 12) - 4th worst / 50 years: Growing pains moving up to the Power 5 were expected. Lack of depth killed BYU down the stretch as injuries piled up, going 0-5 in their last 5 games. If you take out the weird Covid year, Kalani Sitake is just 50-40 as BYU’s head coach. Another losing season will have his seat burning, depending on what coaches are available for a school as unique as BYU.
Florida 5-7 (3-5 SEC) - 4th worst / 50 years: I’ve been pounding the drum to give Sun Belt Billy more time, but this isn’t a good look. Florida looked unprepared to start the season against Utah, and finished by losing their last 5. It doesn’t help that they have arguably the toughest schedule in the country next year, drawing Miami (FL), UCF, and Florida State out of conference to go with an SEC schedule.
Kent State 1-11 (0-8 MAC) - 5th worst / 50 years: Oh Kent State, what is you doing baby…1-11 and it’s only your 5th worst season of the last 50 years? They were the worst team of 2023, so Kent State, get your act together. I like you guys, you’ve had some cool players and coaches.
Nevada 2-10 (2-6 MWC) - 2nd worst / 32 years: One of the transfers from the great Colorado exodus of 2023 was QB Brendon Lewis, who ended up as the starter for Nevada, throwing 2 TD 6 INT. That pretty much sums up the season, along with a Sickos Instant Classic 6-0 win over San Diego State around the middle of the season.
Southern Miss 3-9 (2-6 Sun Belt) - 5th worst / 50 years: Brett Favre is caught diverting welfare funds to Southern Miss athletics, and they go 3-9 the next year. Coincidence? I think not. He was keeping this program together!
Stanford 3-9 (2-7 Pac-12) - 4th worst / 50 years: This was a really bad Stanford team…but I’m not sure anyone cared because of that game against Colorado. A 29 point comeback win against Deion helps ease the pain of a 3-win season.

Use this thread to promote yourself and/or your work!
(Descriptions of fictional crimes investigated by the story's main Character Max.)
Detective's Fate
It's august of 2008.....
Max is a detective living in Chicago He checks his pistol and puts on his police badge as he walks out his front door.
He has been searching for a serial killer known as the Caller for years and always been one step behind due to the red tape.....
More importantly the chief's lazy attitude towards getting search warrants and actions approved by the courts for raids. Twice Max had good intel on the suspect's locations and photo evidence showing him at the sites.
The department needs more vigilant, caring officers and leaders but no one steps up to do it, instead they just complain about the slow progress and officers. And hinder investigations.
Now Max has decided that it might be time to stop playing by the rules and catch this scumbag.... .... ....
Starting his car Max sets his GPS to the address that "The Caller" was last seen and pulls out of his driveway as the 50 miles of directions pop up.
The killer's nickname being for his signature of calling in as he is committing the crime.
As he drives he remembers his first case, five years ago now..... ..... .....
A woman, Joane Taylor, was found dead in an alleyway after going out for the night. She showed no signs of struggle leading the police to believe she had drank to much and expired from alcohol poisoning.... ...
The death was written off as a "party gone wrong".... That is until several more were found and the coroner decided on a whim to test for other substances.
Once it came out that the deaths were possible murders...
The calls started coming in, almost like the suspect wanted credit before revealing himself....
Then ways of the deaths began changing as the Serial Killer explored his twisted desires searching for his preferred method.
The last case being a young woman found stuffed in a dumpster after the killer apparently got scared off.... Max will never forget it.... .... ....
The GPS finishes and the car beeps its final direction, taking an exit off the highway. Ramps out here are always confusing... Which is funny since he has driven this one for five years now...
The chief says he should sit this one out but he can't... The latest victim 3 months ago.
Marie Spelner, a waitress out on her smoke break talking to her spouse on the phone.
Survived by her husband, no children or living relatives. ....
Max Spelner turns into the driveway of the house he was directed to... Stepping out of the car he walks up and knocks on the door. Looking at the house he knows the family must be doing well if they live here.... Raising his hand to knock again he hears a scream from inside....
A second later the door is answered by a middle aged butler holding a tray with wine glasses on it... "Hello Sir, I'm sorry but this house does not wish to partake in any offers at this time..."
Max calmly says. "I'm not selling anything."
The butler looks confused for a moment before his eyes dart over Max's shoulder seeing his unmarked cruiser and he nods.
Looking past the butler Max sees that a woman is cleaning up after their dog.
"Have you seen this man?" Says Max holds up a picture of the one suspected of being the killer.
The butler gives it a once over before replying. "I'm sorry sir, no I have not." His tone sounds like he is lying... ....
"Are you sure?" The detective asks.
"I would not lie about something like that, sir." He states, his eyes not meeting Max's.
The woman calls from inside "Fletcher, who are you talking too?"
"Some man asking about a killer" he calls back.
"The killer is an inside job!" The woman quickly states.
"What?!" Max says.
"The Killer, it's an inside job." She says again, louder this time. In the same Max also hears a child begin to cry in another room.
"We should start from the beginning, it will be easier to explain trust me." The woman says.
'She seems to know what is going on....
"How do I know your story holds water?" He asks out loud.
"Oh I wouldn't lie. I have been following the case myself and it seems like an inside job to me." She states, somehow sounding hurt.
"Is there anyone else in the house besides you two and the baby?" He asks noticing the baby isn't crying anymore.
"Just Fletcher and I live here, the baby is my cousins but he just stays the night sometimes." She replies.
Max draws his gun and enters the house upon reasonable suspicion of an emergency in progress or suspect on the premisses as the man seems to be deceiving.
While the woman still seems unconcerned that the child is now silent.
He pushes past the butler and rushes towards the area he heard the crying. passes the entryway, the dinning room, and a kitchen before finally finding a child in a playpen.
"There there..." He says in a sing song voice picking up the child. "I'm officer Max, do you know where your mommy is?"
The child just cries louder.
Then he sees the man from the photo walk out of the bathroom, upon seeing him he bolts for the door and Max sets the child down gently then gives chase.
He runs through the house, following the man as he can hear the woman screaming at him to stop but he doesn't."
"Stop or I'll shoot." The man doesn't even break stride.
Instead he runs out of the front door and jumps into his car.
Furious that the man might escape he fires at the car as it drives away.
The back window shatters and he hopes he got his tire, but he doesn't wait to find out as he runs to his car and initiates a pursuit....
He flips on his concealed lights in his cruiser as he reverses down the drive and into the street.
The suspects car is fast but he manages to keep up with it weaving in and out of traffic as people move over for the siren.
As they approach a red light there is heavy traffic in the intersection..... ....
The suspect slams on his brakes and Max's cruiser only just stops short of hitting it. Jumping out the Detective points his firearm at the vehicle running up beside seeing heavily tinted windows.
"Get out of the car and on the ground now!!" He shouts as he moves to the driver's side door.
After seeing no response....
Max throws open the door and the driver is gone with the passenger side open.
He quickly runs to the other side catching the man trying to sneak off tackling him to the ground and then takes his arms putting them behind his back.
Max grabs his radio and calls it in as the man cries.
As he is waiting he hears a noise that sounds like static.....
"Wrong guy moron.. Did you ever stop to think I wanted you close for this one. That I planned everything...Even framing the pothead..... I almost lost interest until you pulled in the driveway... The attic is kinda cramped tho... I think I'll go carve some meat. Maybe graduate to other things to. I'm not sure yet. Lets see if you can catch me before......" A familiar voice says over the radio then cuts off... ...
Max looks at the man on the ground. "Why did you run from me?" He asks.
"Cause I have like 19 grams of marijuana in my pocket." He replies...
"Do you know how stupid that is?! I don't care about that I'm looking for a killer."
Before he can answer Max hears the woman from the house screaming for her life and a child's cries on his radio.
Then from below Max. "He's in the house, he's in the house! My mom and the baby!" The man on the ground says crying.
Max uncuffs him and runs to his car heading back to the house as he lays down rubber on the road... ... ...
As he approaches and pulls into the driveway he notices the front door is open.
"Hold on I'm coming!" Max screams jumping out of his cruiser...
He runs into the house finding the woman's body arriving too late. Moving over to her he checks for a pulse but she is gone, a large gash in her neck.
As he stands up he slips in a fluid but gains his balance and tries not to think about what it is....
He rushes to the room the baby was in finding the play pen empty. He leaves the room searching the rest of the house and still doesn't find the child.
"Where are you!!!" He calls out....
"This is the Callers first kidnapping and the media would eat up the fact I failed to stop the man." He thinks as he blames himself.
Sirens begin to blare in the distance as backup is about to arrive... ... ...
"There's a woman dead and a baby missing! The woman is in the dinning room straight ahead of the front door, Hurry!" He yells into his radio...
Looking over at the mother seeing a piece of paper on the floor.
He walks over to it seeing writing.
"So close... Looks like I'm a kidnapper now.... Good luck finding me.... And... I so enjoyed killing that sweet wife of yours. Might do it that way again. Not to the kid tho....later Max. Ps. This game is so fun.." It says.
"He was here..." Is all he can muster as the team enters.
"He was right in this house and I missed it because her son freaked over weed and ran..." He says as another officer speaks to him gently.
"Don't beat yourself up Detective, it's not your fault. He must have hid before you got her and left after you arrived." The words do little to comfort him "First day back on the job and the killer escaped taking a child..." He says as he walks away.
The chief arrives in his new lexus with a screeching of rubber as he lurches to a halt.
He quickly exits and leaves his door hanging open as he rushes into Max's face....
"I told you to stay away from this case MAX!!!!....(takes a breath)...
"If I catch any flak from my superiors, I won't suspend you.... That'd be to easy. Desk duty and an entry level demotion. The new guy will have a higher rank than you if things go my way.... Now get outta my sight...". "(Sighs)...
"This job is gonna be the death of me..." He says walking away from Max and towards the Coroner's van..... ..... .....
On the way home the detective stops by the store close to his house which is unlike him because he usually follows the same routine.
He nears the front door and he hears a kitchen timer ding loudly from behind him as his car explodes throwing him through the storefront windows as they are blown out..... .....
Alarms around the lot and others nearby create a cacophony of noise. His head pounding as his body aches, Max pushes himself up and collapses as the store manager runs over to him telling him not to move as he dials 911.... .... ....
Waking in the hospital Max recalls the feeling of the Shockwave as he flinches in phantom pain.
"Who woulda thought its like holding a ringing metal bat that hurts your hands but all over and way more intense." He thinks.
He suddenly feels tired and falls asleep.... .... .... ....
The next time he wakes, he sees a breaking news story that Jane Saltani is reporting on....
"Young toddler Accidently Shoots Serial killekidnapper ending his life and Alerting residents in the Area." The news anchor says.
Sighing to himself Max thinks about how crazy that is and laughs.
Tho he really wanted to bring the guy in. He closes his eyes to get some much needed sleep as his door opens.
Max looks up to see a man with a silenced pistol pointed at him.
"Hm. Now they think I'm dead. Funny how they just assume they got the right guy. Just like.... You did Detect... ....." Max hears but then hears no more as his end comes at just over the speed of sound....
The Caller leaves the hair of another intelligent convicted murderer that he obtained in a spot that's believable and quickly leaves.....
He disables the surveillance system and sends a virus out to any device that has received video data from the hospital.
Erasing and corrupting the systems. Leaving a master hackers finger prints on a glass from his home....
"Sorry, no witnesses." He says to the security guard as he fires... ..... ..... .... ....

I signed up for wireless service with the Teacher Appreciation Discount in 2020 (it was lumped in with the "Signature" program at the time).
It was a NIGHTMARE -- it took 5-6 months and ~50 hours on the phone before they finally got my bill to reflect the discount. It probably wasn't even worth the time investment and stress once all said and done.
I upgraded my phone to the iPhone 13 when it was released, in Sept. 2021. I can't remember why, but there was an issue placing an order online and I had to complete everything with customer service over the phone. I joked with the lady about the hell I went through previously, and -- in the most polite way I could -- I asked a few times for her to confirm that the account changes wouldn't affect my discount & status as a teacher (the phone & data plan was unchanged, I just did the phone trade in for billing credits toward the newer phone). I was told, over and again, not to worry -- that the new phone would have no affect on the discount.
After completing the order & eSigning the disclosures, I got an automated email "informing" me about the discount for teachers. The PTSD, from neverending circles with AT&T customer service, started kicking in... I called customer service (again), and I remember feeling chest pains when I was told "not to worry! All you need to do is verify your status as a teacher again! You should see the discount re-applied in a couple weeks."
4 months (and 20ish hours on the phone) later, I FINALLY got a someone on the phone that appeared to have some level of authority or knowledge to manually change my status, making me eligible again for the discount.
Around that time, we moved to an address that ONLY gets AT&T. Unfortunately, they're my only option. I think I'd rather cut off my pinky for the Yakuza than deal with the a$$hats in At&T customer service again. BUT, times are tough for us (like everyone else) and I'd really like to keep that discount, and unfortunately my wife's iPhone is on its last leg -- she wants to do the trade-in for billing credits on a new iPhone (SOUND FAMILIAR?).
********
So... that's my long-winded prelude to the question:
Is canceling the Teacher Appreciation status (and requiring recertification) a common occurrence, or SOP? Has anyone else been through this? Or am I just that unlucky?
Happy wife, happy life and all... but I'd really like to know ahead of time exactly what I'm getting myself into.

Not sure the best place to ask this. I'm a partner at a small financial advisory firm. I.E. I'm not an IT guy, but I'm reasonably tech/computer savvy. There are 5 advisors and 2 admin but we role up under a large investment company and so we don't have much control over software and systems that we can use. I'm looking for a simple solution that is NOT cloud based. We just need a simple real time messaging service to cut down on simple phone calls, but also isn't an email. Basically google chat or facebook messenger, but that resides on the individual desktop(s). Or, if that's not possible, something that would reside on an in house server. We don't have one, but maybe that is something we could consider. TIA for any direction.
UPDATE:
Thank you all for your input. I'll try to add some more detail, but I'm sure one of the suggestions will work. It also sounds like some of you have experience in the financial industry. Essentially we are contractors, but we work with a primary brokedealer, but also are IARs for an RIA and have appointments with many different companies And as some of you know, each line of business has different governing bodies from a law and compliance standpoint. All of our devices(phones/tablets/computers/whatever we want to use) are personal(or our separate business property). So essentially they have certain systems that are implemented, and we are required to have devices and security that meets their standards for them to allow us to keep our relationship and run certain programs on our devices. And as you would expect, while we do work with a lot of different companies we have one that we do a majority of our business through.
Also, in retrospect I see how it looks like I might be able to skirt policies. This is not the case and any solutions would be confirmed through compliance before implementation. The Securities laws around records maintenance and how different companies implement those are not uniform. Why do some companies allow electronic signatures while others do not? I don't know. Our main eSignature platform is Docusign, but it is only for certain forms and applications and they won't accept Esignatures from my docusign.
And large companies sometimes are horrible for tech adoption. In any event. I don't make the rules or the policies, I just have to figure out how to find the solutions that work the best for myself and ourselves while following the rules and policies that are put upon us to maintain our working relationship.

Hinge has positioned itself as a long-term relationship app, so that means your profile needs to convince her you’re true Boyfriend Material!
Sound like a tall order? Don't worry. We use Hinge on a daily basis, and have been since the app launched in 2012. You're about to benefit from our thousands of hours of direct user experience!
You see, we represent our clients on Hinge - optimizing their profiles, selecting their photo lineups, and sending messages on their behalf. We analyze everything, so we know what approaches work, what to avoid, and which strategies attract the best matches.
Thanks to our evidence-based approached, these 7 Hinge profile tips for men will make your profile irresistible! You’ll also get 11 examples of the best Hinge answers.
Let’s start with the main attraction…
Hinge Profile Tip #1: Aim For Perfection With Your Primary Photo
Don’t worry - it’s easier than it sounds! A team of European neuroscientists identified a checklist of what attributes combine to make the most attractive profile picture:
Eye contact is particularly important, as lack of it has a negative effect on her first impression of you. When she can look you straight in the eyes, you seem inherently more trustworthy and genuinely likeable.
That means sunglasses are not ideal for dating photos, and you don’t want to hide your eyes behind your hair or a Snapchat filter either.
Hinge Profile Tip #2: Embrace Quality Control
You know who gets excited about low-quality graphics? No one.
So when choosing your other 5 Hinge photos or videos, make sure they’re all high-quality images. You want your Hinge lineup to look intentional and curated, not like you pulled random images off your Facebook or phone.
Here’s the thing - when looking at images, human brains are wired to prefer simplicity and clarity.
When a picture has a high cognitive workload, it means your brain has to work harder to interpret what’s going on in the frame. The subject matter becomes less attractive the more complex it is.
Simple = attractive.
If your picture is blurry, has harsh highlights and dark shadows, or “artistic” effects that obscure your face, the odds she’s going to “like” or comment on it are drastically reduced - and that means you probably won’t match with her.
While artistic effects that complicate your photos are not good, using a black and white filter can increase the odds you’ll get some “likes” - by 106%. Try applying one to a photo or two in your lineup!
Hinge Profile Tip #3: Put Down The Selfie Stick
Selfies are problematic on Hinge for several reasons:

1. Selfies are a whopping 40% less likely to get “likes.” That number rockets up to 90% if it’s a bathroom selfie. Don’t go there.

2. Selfies are less attractive than non-selfies. A recent study compared two photos - a selfie, and a photo of that same person taken by someone else. The selfie version was perceived as less attractive and more narcissistic. Don’t cultivate that vibe on Hinge!

3. They don’t inspire comments. Which photo do you think will entice more comments and “likes”:

Dalmatians for the win!
Photos where you’re doing something are especially effective on Hinge, as it makes it easy for your match to start a conversation by asking about whatever is going on in the image.
Per their internal data, sports photos are the most popular when it comes to “likes,” and activity photos in general ranked highly.
Coming in dead last were pics where you’re posing with someone who could be an ex. A full 98% of singles said that was a turn off.
Hinge Profile Tip #4: Stay On The Bright Side
Now let’s talk about your profile text. The best Hinge prompts to answer let you highlight on an attractive trait or two in a positive way.
Remember, she’s looking for Boyfriend Material, so why waste space with negativity?
Take, for instance, the “Pet Peeves” prompt. It’s challenging to make your answer sound anything other than whiny, pessimistic, and overly bothered by the minutiae of daily life.
Plus, if it’s a shared pet peeve, chances are she’ll feel a flash of annoyance when she reads it - and guess who she’s going to associate that feeling with? (Spoiler alert: you).
You also want to avoid describing what she may perceive as a negative character trait or flaw:
With over 80 prompts to choose from and only 3 available slots, she’s going to wonder why you took up valuable space with what’s essentially a reason not to “like” you.
To decide which are the best Hinge profile questions for you to answer, take a minute and write down a list of things you bring to the table that you think your ideal woman would be looking for in a guy.
Stable career, physically fit, interesting hobbies, family oriented, able to afford vacations, responsible enough to care for a dog… things of that nature that illustrate why you’d be a particularly good catch.
Then compare that list to the available prompts, and choose the ones that best let you highlight a few of those traits. Simple!
Here are 4 great Hinge profile examples, plus insight into why they work:
If you’re still stuck on what to write in your Hinge profile, try using one of these creative Hinge answers that are general enough to fit anyone:
A blast-from-the-past fashion trend makes for a great conversation starter since most women can relate to it.
While these examples don’t necessarily highlight a desirable personality trait or hobby, they will bring a smile to her face.
Humor is a great strategy in a dating profile, if you can pull it off. Women can’t help but be drawn to funny guys - it’s the way her brain is wired.
Hinge Profile Tip #5: Make One Of The Prompts About Her
Marketing yourself in an appealing, intriguing way is the goal of your Hinge profile.
But including a tidbit about her is an effective strategy.
According to research, 70% of your dating profile should describe you, but 30% of it should describe what type of person you’re looking for. That’s the most attractive combination.
As you’ve already learned, keep your answer positive.
Describing what you don’t want could have the opposite effect, as you may end up sounding picky and judgemental. Or worse, bitter from your last relationship imploding.
Hinge don'ts
Instead, focus on hobbies you’d like to have in common with your perfect match, or attributes that are important to you in a relationship.
Here are 3 great ways to answer the Hinge profile questions:
Describing non-physical attributes implies you're looking for a non-superficial relationship, and mentioning a hobby you'd like to have in common gives her some insight into your personality.
These good prompt answers give her some insight into what dating you might be like, and also imply that keeping in shape is important to you (which is always an attractive quality).
Mentioning a great first date idea in your Hinge answer is a subtle way to make her envision what an hour or two with you might include.
In fact, it’s so effective that according to founder Justin McCleod, answering this prompt got the most dates for users in London:
What works in London will probably work wherever you are as well, making “I know the best spot in town for” one of the best Hinge prompts for guys to answer if it's one of the available options for you.
Hinge Profile Tip #6: Make Every Word Count
The shorter a dating app profile is, the more impact each individual word has. To create the best possible first impression, you want every word in your profile to evoke positive vibes.
Stay away from words that cause a strong negative reaction, like violence, swearing, drugs and weapons. Those can have a ripple effect that will diminish your overall attractiveness.
And since this is Hinge, not Tinder, you’ll definitely want to keep it classy.
don't do this on Hinge
Even if you’re on Hinge just to hook up, don’t advertise your intentions in your profile. And consider switching to another dating app - Hinge really isn’t the app for that.
Here a few more Hinge “Don’ts” to keep in mind:
Repeat yourself. She’s reading a max of 450 characters, which is even less than a Tinder bio. Repetition is really going to stand out. If you talk about how much you love hiking in every Hinge answer, she’s apt to think you’re a one note kind of guy.
Make grammapunctuation/spelling errors. There’s not a lot of written material feeding into that all-important first impression, so little mistakes can have a big effect. Plus, surveyed singles said bad sex was preferable to bad grammar (if they had to choose), so it’s important to get it right.
Give “non” answers. You may think it’s the height of wit to answer Hinge prompts with statements like “I’m looking for… a better answer to this question,” but that’s likely to backfire on you. If she thinks you’re not taking online dating seriously, she probably won’t invest any time in getting to know you.
Reference past relationships. If you’re in your late 20s or 30s, odds are high you’ve got at least one significant relationship in your past. Whether the breakup was good or bad, your Hinge profile is not the place to rehash it.
Hinge Profile Tip #7: Reconsider Your “Dealbreakers”
When you set up your Hinge profile, you have the option to designate match preferences as “dealbreakers.”
That's a great feature for singles seeking long-term relationships, as it eliminates the need to ask those personal questions during the first few dates.
When you specify something as a dealbreaker, you won’t see profiles of people who don’t fit that category, regardless of how many other categories they do fit. (If you don't specify something as a dealbreaker, you may see profiles of singles who fall slightly outside of your ideal preferences.)
Free members have the usual filters like age range, distance and height. If you’re a Hinge+ or HingeX member, you have access to additional filters like children, family plans, education, and politics.
Take a look at any categories you deemed a “Dealbreaker” and make sure they truly are.
For instance, if your match is 5’7” instead of 5’8” or taller, is that truly important in the grand scheme of things? Or if she’s 41 instead of under 40?
If you’re too exclusive with your filtering, you may miss out on a great match you would have really clicked with, despite a small divergence from your “ideal type.”

It's been three and a half weeks. I was so beat down and depressed the first week, it wasn't even funny. I was hoarse and everything when I spoke. I still do get hoarse when I start talking about her. Even almost a month later. It hurts like fuck! I can at least rest knowing it didn't end in a toxic manner like the last break-up. But it hurts because her and I loved each other dearly, and it feels like we were soul mates. We had so much in common it's not even funny. Same county, same mutual friends. Same values, same church. Supportive family and friends. It hurts knowing that I could've handled it differently, and there's so much I would take back about that last week. It was slow and painful for both of us, and it was her first break-up. I tried to offer her a break. But it seemed her emotions took over, and she decided to wave the white flag and break up. She'll realize what she lost in time. At least her family still has respect for me and knows I'm not a bad man. I only wish the best for her. I miss her so much, I've been through breakups before. But this one really hurts because we had so much in common, and we could've worked this out. But she just didn't know how to handle her emotions and turned tail. Even though she admitted she still loves me and always will. We both sobbed throughout that final phone call. Something my last ex didn't even do, even after I saved her from contemplating suicide after her previous boyfriend before me, died of brain cancer while her and I were merely friends back in August of 2021. Poor kid didn't even get to graduate high school, only 18 years old, and was reduced to the brain capacity of a toddler in the end. She was traumatized, and she likely will never recover. She watched him die. But Morgan and I were very happy together. It was euphoric. Started dating me about 3 weeks before I graduated high school on May 18th of last year. Now, a year later, she's gone. She signed my graduate advice frame that hangs on my wall in my bedroom with signatures and well wishes from everyone. Her's said.
"I'm so proud of you."
-Morgan
I'm haunted by it every day, and she lives rent-free in my head. I see her or her family once a month on the job at Food Lion. I cry myself to sleep at night because I feel guilty. I pray to God for guidance and to give her and I strength to pull through this. I walk in the woods, trying to find solace and peace. Trying to guide our mutual friends to not pick sides, but to remain neutral and listen to both of us and help us when we need someone to talk to. I refuse to turn her friends and family against her simply to find out. "Why? Or get revenge or seek an apology without directly reaching out." That's what a coward would do. Sure, find out what happened, but go in peace and leave them alone. Just keep walking, and if they turn around and they mean it. They admit they were wrong. They treat you with respect and dignity. At least consider remaining friends with them and if you are single. Perhaps there's your chance to make things right between you both. Use this time apart to find yourself and improve who you are. That's what I'm doing. Waiting on God to give me that woman. Or perhaps she is it, just the right woman at the wrong time. Let them come to you.

or whatever the hell justin bieber said
PART 2:
i’ll never send this to you. if you find this. no you didn’t. it’s not about you 🙂‍↕️
this letter won’t be as long as the first i think.
honestly, ffs life’s getting easier without you.
i’d be lying if i said i didn’t love you.
i’d be lying if i said i didn’t think about you often.
i’d be lying if i said i didn’t care about you.
i’d be lying if i said our love had some twin flame energy.
i’d be lying if i said you were the only one im thinking about. i’d be lying if i haven’t thought about booking flight to you. i’d ALSO be lying if you thought that flight was only for you… 😉
but idk why i even wanna be your girl. your llameeeee. i want the loveeeeeee
why did you have to show me loveee then run.
i don’t want to be hurt again. but i want IT feel again…. ugh. remember when you used to beg for it ha
i’ve been listening to music more. it’s another song i like i like the lyrics:
kill bill by sza
” im so mature, im so mature im so mature, i got me a therapist to tell me there's other men i dont want none, i just want you if i can't have you, no one should i might… i might kill my ex, not the best idea his new girlfriend's next, how'd i get here? i might kill my ex, i still love him though rather be in jail than alone”
im kidding🤣. i remember when you gave me the side eye that day i said this song. it’s definitely catchy. ahhhh memories….
as much as i want to be there and risk everything i can’t(i probably would fall into your trap). dont let me. i’ll always love you and be there for you. but i gotta moveeeee
i’ll always miss you my love. but it’s okay i found someone i’ve ”moved” on ☺️.
it’s a ghost, i live with them! it’s ghost of YOU.
but i can say….. i finally am….
livingwiththeghost……my username will now make sense, go check😉
songs: ghost by justin bieber kill bill by sza
it’s kinda funny calling you a ghost. but it’s a metaphor, it’s an idea of you, of what i wished you were. my REAL soulmate, my person, my everything. something that you didn’t want to be. wasn’t difficult. i barely asked for much. oh whale 🐳
soon i’ll make regular letters. i’ve been so bored! i have so much time on my hands now.
byeeeeeeeeeee.

• this letter is for A <3 i’ll leave the letter opened this time.

QR codes have become a powerful tool for businesses, offering a seamless way to connect the physical and digital worlds.
If you’re wondering how to leverage QR codes for your business, here are some practical tips and ideas to get you started.

12 Practical Tips on How To Use QR Codes For Business

TL;DR: Enhance marketing materials, simplify contact information, drive website traffic, facilitate online payments, offer promotions, collect feedback, provide product info, enhance events, enable social follows, track campaigns, streamline inventory, and support contactless operations with QR codes
1. Enhance Marketing Materials:
Incorporate QR codes into your business cards, flyers, brochures, and posters.
Link these codes to your website, social media profiles, promotional videos, or landing pages.
This makes it easy for potential customers to learn more about your business with a quick scan.
2. Simplify Contact Information:
Use QR codes to share your contact details. Instead of manually typing in a phone number or email address, customers can scan the code to save their contact info instantly.
This is particularly useful at networking events and trade shows.
3. Drive Traffic to Your Website or App:
Include QR codes in offline advertising to drive traffic to your website or app.
Whether on a billboard, print ad, or product packaging, a QR code can provide a direct link to your online presence, increasing your visibility and accessibility.
4. Facilitate Online Payments:
QR codes can streamline the payment process. Many payment providers, like PayPal and Square, offer QR code payment options.
Customers can simply scan the code to pay, making transactions faster and more convenient, especially in retail and food service industries.
5. Offer Promotions and Discounts
Create QR codes that link to special offers, discounts, or loyalty programs. Place these codes on receipts, in-store displays, or email newsletters.
This encourages customers to engage with your promotions and can help boost sales.
6. Collect Customer Feedback
Use QR codes to gather customer feedback. Link the code to an online survey or review platform.
Place these codes on receipts, product packaging, or at your point of sale.
This makes it easy for customers to share their experiences and helps you gather valuable insights.
7. Provide Product Information
Enhance your product packaging with QR codes that link to detailed information, such as user manuals, ingredient lists, or instructional videos.
This adds value for your customers and can help answer their questions without additional staff involvement.
8. Enhance Event Experiences
For events, use QR codes on tickets, brochures, and banners to provide attendees with schedules, speaker bios, or interactive maps.
This can improve the overall event experience and ensure attendees have all the information they need at their fingertips.
9. Enable Easy Social Media Follows
Create QR codes that link directly to your social media profiles. This can make it easier for customers to follow you online.
Place these codes on your storefront, marketing materials, or even your email signature.
10. Track Marketing Campaigns QR codes can help track the effectiveness of your marketing campaigns.
Use unique QR codes for different campaigns or channels and analyze the scan data to understand which strategies are driving the most engagement.
11. Streamline Inventory Management Incorporate QR codes into your inventory management system.
QR codes can be used to track products throughout the supply chain, making inventory management more efficient and reducing the likelihood of errors.
12. Support Contactless Operations
In light of the increased demand for contactless solutions, QR codes offer a safe and efficient way to operate.
Use them for contactless menus in restaurants, touch-free check-ins at offices or events, and digital product catalogs in retail stores.
Implementing QR codes in your business can enhance customer engagement, improve operational efficiency, and provide valuable data insights.
They are easy to create and use, making them a versatile tool for businesses of all sizes.
Have you used QR codes in your business? Share your experiences and any additional tips in the comments below!

Hey guys I don’t know if I’m the only one but I’m slowing losing hope that I could ever get this application submitted. My parent does not have an ssn which may be why I’m having so many issues but after being on the phone with support for a total of 5 hours and reading countless support articles I can not seem to get my issue resolved and am now turning you you guys for some advice. Basically I’m running into the issue where after filling out my end of the application it requires a parent signature to submit however I keep getting the error “If you entered a Social Security number (SSN), it is already associated with a StudentAid.gov account. Except for email address, all information entered on this page must match that existing account. Please confirm this information with the person you are adding to your form to ensure accuracy. If you did not enter an SSN, review this guidance and recommended workaround and try again.” My parent has a fafsa that yes is verified and trust me when I say that I’ve made sure there is no extra spacing when it comes to the their information and it’s is all spelt exactly like on my parent’s fafsa account to send her the invitation to sign but no matter what I try I keep getting this error and the funny thing is when ever I put the incorrect information such as abbreviating “circle” to cir in our address the system then says the invitation was sent, but obviously because the information is incorrect my parent never actually receives the invitation to sign their end of the FAFSA form only an email saying that they have been sent an invitation. I just finished talking to a representative over the phone and they told me there’s a paper application that can be filled out and signed, but because I already started my application online, I’m not able to utilize that tool and told me to just wait and keep calling back as they have tried all they can to help me at this time. I just wanted to know if there was anybody else who is having this issue or if anybody knows a solution to this problem. Thank you!

The Plan Ive created to follow, and you can too. I wanted this community to know that I was pursuing this plan that I made. A form of accountability.
Five Hundred Days of Monk Mode Self Improvement The Ten Rules: One] Write out an intricate plan and constitution of how you will live your life for the next five hundred days. This will inculde quotes, principles and rules you will live by. Print it out and frame it. Two] No excuses can be made. Not sleep, not storm, not rain, no excuses whatsoever Three] Take chrome and play store off your phone and only limit your phone to the apps you vitally need. I recommend using the app oasis for simplification Four] Focus must solely be placed on your constitution and principles Five] You must document the journey daily via writing, and label via Day one, Day two etc. six] No drinking, No porn, No drugs, No nicotine Seven] Name your method and constitution. Sign and date the beginning of the journey and refuse to look back for the fivehundred days of progess Eight] Look your habits in the eyes and do not touch them. Example: An unopened bottle of barcardi on your nightstand you refuse to open Nine] Accept mentally that positive change can and often times must come with necessary suffering Ten] Focus only on the next Five Hundred Days of your life
Here with this signature and date I begin this journey, promising and honoring this community I will be better in five hundred days. See you all in five hundred days a better person.
SpudBob
May Thirty First Twenty Twenty Four
Here I begin this journey at the time of Eleven Fifty AM

Killer Grips: Anne Maria, Jasmine, Justin, Millie
Screaming Gaffers: Chase, Izzy, MK, Ripper, Scott
Episode 11: Full Metal Drama
"Last week, on Total Drama Action. Our competitors took it on the chin as they faced an all-you-can-eat buffet of deadly natural disasters."
"But, it was Scott's own feet that tripped him up. His newly-broken bone took him out of the challenge, and cost him the use of an arm. A rough life for the dirt farmer, but his teammates had it even rougher."
"We threw the competitors into a submarine simulator and forced them to find their way out, and thanks to a certain bully using his brain rather than his brawn, both teams were able to live for another day."
"Sound tough? Get used to it!" The scene moved to a close-up of Chris standing in front of a building. "Because this week, it's all-out war!" The camera zoomed out, revealing a tropical war zone set, complete with sandbags, a bunker, a guard tower, and even a bomb lying on the ground. He pointed to a chart that had been set up next to him with drawings of tanks, fighter jets, and a dotted trail leading to an 'X'. "It's a desperate battle for survival, on Total! Drama! Action!"
(Theme Song)
The episode opened with a shot of the communal bathroom before the scene cut inside it.
MK and Scott were currently inside eating chips and drinking soda respectively in front of the sinks. “So how are you handling this broken arm situation?” MK asked her teammate.
“Horribly,” Scott grunted. “I use my right arm for everything, and with that broken, how am I supposed to whittle or scratch my armpits?”
MK winced at the last part. “Too much information.”
“It's bad enough that I have to wear this bandana until my brand is off completely,” Scott pointed at the orange cloth. “Having my arm in a sling will screw things up for us.”
“Tell me about it,” MK snorted. “And don't be a bummer. You're getting compensated for your injury.”
“I was getting to that, MK,” Scott said. “Because I threatened to sue them, I've been treated much better, especially by Chef who has to work extra as punishment for his secret alliance. I got my own bathroom to shower in, I got to eat actual quality food, and yesterday, they even told me that me and my family will receive a hundred thousand bucks just to make sure we won't take action.”
This information led to MK gaping. “Are you serious?”
“As serious as a barn burning down,” Scott nodded. “With this amount of money, we can finally get our farm reconstructed.”
“You can stop now before I get jealous, Scott,” MK told him.
“Yeah yeah,” Scott shook off. “So anyway, we have to talk about who we're gonna vote off next, and that would have to be Izzy.”
“Izzy? Why her?” MK raised an eyebrow.
“She just rejoined the game a couple of days ago, and we already have a history in season one,” Scott reasoned. “If we're not careful, she can convince Ripper and Chase to vote me out.”
“That is a reasonable explanation,” MK agreed. “But maybe we could get Chase on our side for the vote. Ripper likes Izzy, so he's not an option.”
“As long as we have more votes, Izzy will be taken down,” Scott smirked.
“Absolutely,” MK smiled back.
Confessional: MK
“...not!” MK said in the make-up trailer. “Me and Scott may be in an alliance, but in this game, we'd usually have to backstab each other to get what we want. If we lose, I'm obviously telling the team to gun for him. After the elimination ceremony, I'll have to make sure that I'm not gunned for, and I know just how to do that.”
Confessional Ends
The footage skipped forward, showing the contestants walking warily as Chris passed them in an army helmet and sunglasses. "Today, we're all about war movies," he told them, the shot zooming out to show Chef glaring nearby in his drill instructor's uniform.
"So, look lively you...," Chris began to say.
"Buckets of horse doo-doo!" Chef finished with a growl into their faces.
"So, get ready for the first death-defying challenge, you...," Chris began again.
"Disgustin' slimy crustaceans!" Chef finished once more.
"Move it, privates!" Chris ordered. "Fall in!"
"Sir yes sir!' the cast said as one.
Confessional: Izzy
"I have all the skills required to be a marine," Izzy said enthusiastically in the make-up confessional. "I am stealthy, tough, and loud enough, and I can handle a weapon, but I do value my freedom."
Confessional Ends
The camera cut to Ripper and MK as the Grips walked off. "I cannot wait to go to war," the techno girl said. "I've played my fair share of Battlefront, and my squad has won a lot of online multiplayer gaming titles. Most of the time, we don't even use teamwork."
“I hate to break it to you, but we're not in your little tech world,” Ripper said in an annoyed tone as the rest of the team joined in. “Just leave all the marine stuff to me today.”
“Let you do all the work and take all the credit?” MK glared. “Not happening, Buster.”
“Now wait a second-” Ripper began to glare back.
“Quit taking shots at each other!” Chase got in-between the two. “We can make a plan when we're at the challenge site, okay?”
“Seriously, I've seen my pigs fight over less,” Scott huffed as MK and Ripper continued to glare at each other.
Confessional: Ripper
“I'm really at my wits end with that shortstack,” Ripper complained. “Who does she think she is insulting and putting down the best looking guy on the show… me! Thankfully, MK won't be able to listen to me rant about her.”
Confessional: MK
MK was watching Ripper's previous confessional on her phone, especially the part about him bragging about himself. “It's so silly how he thinks I can't listen to everything he says,” she confessed after turning off her phone.
Confessionals End
The scene briefly flashed to the numbered studios with the sound of a plane engine in the background, the camera panning up to show the fake cliff before flashing to what looked like the inside of some kind of plane. The two teams were shown in a split screen with the Gaffers on top and the Grips on the bottom, all nine teens wearing blindfolds.
"Okay people," Chris said, "remove your blindfolds!" The contestants did as commanded, and the viewpoint shifted to show the teams sitting along opposite walls as the host walked in front of the camera. "When it comes to making a war movie," he said, the viewpoint moving again to show that he was standing next to a large trunk, "jumping out an airplane is the most dangerous stunt there is." He popped the trunk open, revealing several parachute packs within. "So naturally," he began to yell as he slid open a nearby door, the winds roaring inside the room, "it's our first challenge!"
MK and Scott gasped, as did Millie, and even Justin looked shocked.
"Chris really set the record for the shortest amount of time between the start of the challenge and our lives being endangered," Jasmine deadpanned over the roaring wind and engine.
“If we live, I'm going to file a complaint that's sure to get Chris replaced with a nicer and more considerate host,” Millie shouted.
“Nice grit for an underdog,” Jasmine grinned.
“Underdog?” Millie asked.
“Underdogs usually have a lot of fight and honor in them, and you've been tapping into it a lot,” Jasmine complimented her friend. “Keep it up.”
Millie felt flustered by her words. “I, uh, thank you.”
Justin soon sat in-between the two of them. “Jasmine, Millie! I want to propose something, but don't get excited, it's not marriage!” he chuckled. “Uh, anywho, it's a long way from the airplane to the ground below!”
“Exactly three kilometers!” Millie confirmed.
“Wouldn't know. Math is for ugly people,” Justin said. “Here's the deal! I need you two to jump before me in case I need a soft place to land, okay?!” The eye candy blinked his eyelashes only to receive blank stares from the girls. “Now, you girls know that I don't blink these eyelashes at just anybody!” He did the same thing again and got the same response. “Nothing?! When were your last eye exams?!”
"Drop zone approaching!" Chris announced after sticking his head out the open door. "Form a line, it's time to par-tay!"
The Gaffers were shown standing up as the host continued. "Stunt people undergo weeks of training before they parachute," he said as the Grips stood up as well, Jasmine walking forward hesitantly. "Luckily, we're gonna skip all that and get to the good part: Jumping!"
"That doesn't sound like a good idea!" Scott told the host.
"What's the worst that could happen?" Chris asked him.
"We die!" Anne Maria answered with annoyance and anger.
"I know!" Chris grinned. "Hilarious! Haha! Time to jump!"
"Well, there's no point standing here like statues," Izzy walked towards the trunk of parachutes with Scott.
“Hey McLean, can I skip out on the jump?” Scott asked. “My arm is broken!”
"Sorry Scott," Chris told him, "but you gotta jump too! Try not to land on your right arm, okay?" He then pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and turned his back on the now-enraged Scott.
“Someone's definitely going to increase the amount of money me and my family will get,” Scott whispered bitterly.
"At least we get parachutes," Chase told the injured boy.
"Actually, change of plans!" Chris interrupted, closing his phone and stowing it back in his pocket. "I just spoke to our research department, there were no parachutes in World War I!"
"So what do we do for the challenge?" Ripper asked.
"Simple," Chris replied as he shoved the trunk of parachutes out the door with his foot.
The contestants gasped, though a fearless Izzy was the first one to jump out the plane shouting “Tell my pet rock I love her!”
None of the other contestants made a move, though, and Chris scowled. "Okay, you kids better start jumping or I will have Chef tilt the plane and force you out!"
“That's all the motivation I need!” Chase said quickly and dived out into the air with a fearful cry.
"Who's up next?" Chris asked the remaining castmates with a smile.
The scene cut outside the plane as the contestants jumped out one by one. First MK, then Ripper, then Scott to round out the Gaffers with a terrified shout each as they quickly disappeared into the clouds below the plane. Next was Jasmine looking determined, followed by a shrieking Millie. Justin gulped and took the plunge, and Anne Maria came out last with a holler, and the host briefly looked out and below with a surprised look on his face before the clouds filled the scene.
They dispersed moments later to reveal all nine contestants in a heap on top of a large mattress.
"Hooray! We're alive!" Scott groaned. The camera zoomed out, showing that they were in a movie set. The plane was a wingless fake hanging from the ceiling only a few yards above the mattress, and the high winds were caused by a pair of giant fans operated by Chef Hatchet. On the back wall, level with the plane's windows and door, was a sky-patterned background made to continuously scroll and give the illusion of movement within the plane.
Chef shut off the fans, and the castmates groaned and began to get back up. "Let's roll, soldiers," Chris told them, now back on the ground. "Because the second part of this challenge is gonna blow your minds!" He grinned as he spoke before leaning towards the teens. "And everything else within a fifty-foot radius!"
Confessional: Chase
“If I had know that we would land on a mattress, I would’ve just let Chef force us all out,” Chase confessed.
Confessional Ends
The scene immediately flashed forward to a close-up of a green tarp being taken off a pile of grenades and bombs. "Are those," Jasmine asked as the camera pulled back to show her and the other Grips standing with Chris and the tarp-pulling Chef by a blast shield outside, "paint bombs?"
"We've divided the camp into two halves," Chris told them, the Grips watching with blank looks while the Gaffers were shown in a similar but mirrored position on the other side of the two men. "Most creative and controlled splatter wins."
“Alright gang,” Jasmine clapped her hands in order to get her team's attention. “Here's how our explosion is going to go. We'll have to lay our explosives in a pattern in order to make sure that the paint coverage will be more noticeable than the Gaffers’.”
“Excellent idea. I'll handle the explosives. I passed chemistry in my high school,” Millie eagerly walked off.
“Wonderful,” Jasmine smiled.
“I'll help as well,” Anne Maria said after she stopped using hairspray on her pouf. “I could ward off the other team by sprayin’ them in their eyes if they even think about spyin’ on us.”
“Not a big fan of harming our competition, but you do you,” Jasmine said uncertainly.
“And I'll be letting my butt have its beauty rest!” Justin chuckled suavely while laying back on a nearby hammock tied between two trees.
This did not go unnoticed by Anne Maria and Jasmine, who both flipped Justin off the hammock and into the ground.
“You're gonna help us with this challenge and not get any special treatment,” Jasmine scolded.
“Is it getting hot out here?” Justin took off his shirt and demonstrated his pecs. “Now if you'll notice, I don't sport a six-pack. I got twelve. That's a dozen smoking mandominals.”
“Get workin’, lazybones!” Anne Maria demanded and stomped off.
“This, this can't be right,” Justin panicked. “Have I really lost my lady controlling mojo?” He turned to the tallest member of the team. “Say it ain't so!”
“No need spouting the obvious, Justin,” Jasmine replied uncaringly.
“This challenge was designed for me!” Ripper told the Gaffers. “What do I not love more than exploding things?!”
“Being a numbskull, for instance,” MK retorted. “I seem to remember you saying that you let people do all the work for you. And we're supposed to trust you on this?”
“Adding my two cents onto this, I would've done the same thing if I was Ripper,” Scott added snidely.
“I'm sorry, MK, but I think we have to stick with Ripper on this one,” Chase said with a hand on MK's shoulder.
“Why?” MK objected. “I actually worked hard to get an A in chemistry.”
“Explosives Boy overrules Chemistry Girl,” Scott shrugged.
"Okay, time's up!" Chris announced, the camera cutting to his close-up as he entered the scene. "Uh-oh, looks like you didn't even get started."
“Not so fast, Chris!” the voice of Izzy cried out, and everyone turned their heads to see her smiling with her foot on a bomb and multiple bombs plastered around her team's site.
“Whoa. Now that's what I call thorough,” Chris narrated.
Chase hesitantly moved over to the curly haired girl. “Iz, what did you do?”
“Plant the explosives while you guys were at each other's throats,” Izzy giddily said.
Confessional: Izzy
“When Chris mentioned explosives and bombs, that was a sign that my team is lucky to have me on their side,” Izzy gloated. “I could blow up a hotel if I wanted to, but I refrain unless I'm extremely tempted.”
Confessional Ends
Another cut took the scene to the Grips, standing behind the blast shield that was between them and a set that was very much like the Gaffers', except that it had been mirrored. There were no visible bombs around, and they were all wired into a plunger held by Chris.
"Grips, are we ready?" Chris asked, handing the plunger over to Millie.
"Likewise," the writer said with a confident smile. As she pushed the plunger down, part of Richard Wagner's 'Ride of the Valkyries' began to play in the background. One by one, explosions of green paint began to go off around the Grips' area – in the guard tower, behind the sandbags, near the bunker door, and several off the bunker's roof. The music ended as one final explosion splattered the blast shield, stunning Anne Maria, Jasmine, and Justin.
As the dust cleared around their blast site, the camera pulled back to reveal a massive rendition of the Grips' light-bulb-and-crossbones logo in green paint.
"Nice show of team spirit," Chris told the four.
"I must say, that was very impressive," Justin admitted to Millie as the host walked away.
"What can I say? I wanted to make an explosion that would be mind-blowing, but still tame," Millie told him smugly. "You're welcome."
The shot cut back to the Gaffers' side of the camp, starting on their explosive-laden set before panning over to the five waiting behind their blast shield with Chris.
"Are we ready to blow it up?" Chris asked excitedly, with Izzy standing by a larger plunger than what the Grips had used.
"We're ready! Uno, dos, tres!!!" Izzy chanted and eagerly pushed the plunger down.
Almost immediately, a chaotic series of explosions were set off all around the base. They were accompanied by hectic and disjointed notes in the background music, and the host and other four Gaffers were shown cringing with their fingers in their ears. Eventually the explosions stopped, the dust settled, and everyone except Izzy leaned past the paint-splattered wall with curious expressions.
The camera panned to the left, showing what appeared to be a shapeless blob of paint. No patterns were apparent in it, and the areas that had been left untouched seemed to be random as well.
"Welp, at least it was controlled..." Chris said with a frown.
“Just come over here,” Izzy grabbed the host by the wrist and dragged him over to another spot.
"Hey, there's no touching the host!" Chris said indignantly, yanking his hand free as soon as Izzy stopped moving.
"Look now!" Izzy directed his attention back to the pain splatter.
Chris turned his head, and almost immediately began to brighten up. "It's...it's…beautiful!" he said, wiping away a tear as the viewpoint moved behind him, showing Izzy's paint pattern from another angle – it took the shape of the host's own grinning face.
"The Gaffers are victorious!" he announced, walking back to the other Gaffers by the blast wall. The Gaffers began to cheer and celebrate. "It is my honor to present your prize," Chris added just before Chef appeared wheeling a large and ornate-looking red chest on a handcart. "The Big Trunk of Mind-Blowing Secrets! You'll be defending it with your very lives when we return to more, Total! Drama! Action!"
The shot cut back with each word of the title, showing the defeated Grips standing by in shame.
(Commercial Break)
The episode came back on a shot of the cloudy sky, panning down to show Scott and Chase standing together by a potted palm tree.
"So what is it that you want to talk to me about?" Chase asked. "If it's to brag about your luxuries, then I don't want to hear it."
"It's not about that, Chase," Scott rolled his eyes. “I wanna talk about who we have to vote off tonight.”
“What do you mean “we”?” Chase grew curious. “I know who I'm going to vote for, and it doesn't take Einstein to figure out who it is.”
“I know I'm not the coolest kid on the block, but we have to pick off Izzy,” Scott suggested.
“And why would I do that?” Chase asked.
“She's a wild card, and she got back into the competition not once, but twice,” Scott emphasized. “Do you really want to face off against her in the finale?”
Scott left the athletic boy alone to ponder about his decisions.
The footage flashed forward to Chris McLean standing by the trunk he'd brought out. "Contestants, get ready to begin your next war challenge!" he announced. "It's a giant game of 'Capture the Flag', except in this case the flag is the Trunk of Mind-Blowing Secrets!" The camera zoomed in on the trunk at an angle, and the ornate thing seemed to glow radiantly.
"There's only one way to learn what's in the trunk," he told the off-screen castmates, "and that's to win the challenge. As your reward, we'll give you immunity from tonight's vote, aaaanndd a peek inside. But be ready. The secrets inside will blow your brains to bits!"
"I need my brain!" Ripper whined.
"Not to worry," Chris told him, holding up a roll of duct tape. "A roll of tape will be provided so you can tape the gray matter back together."
"Gaffers," Chris said as he walked over to what looked to be a building covered in a sheet bearing the logo of the Screaming Gaffers, "this is your base camp." Chef watched from close by, his hands angrily on his hips, as the host and the five teens began to arrive, Chase and Izzy carrying the trunk by the pair of poles sticking out on opposite sides. "Our set decoration team wanted to build you guys a towering castle, full of defensive possibilities! But, they went to see a movie instead, sooo..." Chris trailed off as Chef grabbed the sheet. "We're gonna give you this!"
The sheet was pulled away, revealing an utterly decrepit wooden shack. "I think it's a tool shed," the host said uncertainly before the building creaked and collapsed into a dusty heap of rotten planks and miscellaneous garden tools. "Was a tool shed," Chris corrected. "Good luck!"
"How are we gonna defend this big trunk out in the open?" Izzy asked.
"We just have to put our heads together and come up with a plan," MK answered.
“You guys do what you want. I'll be setting some booby traps,” Chase told the team and walked away.
“In first World War movies, the soldiers would always have underground hiding places,” MK said as she gave Izzy a shovel and held one of her own. “Those would be foxholes.”
“With me digging, why not call it a foxy-hole,” Izzy quipped.
“I'm just glad that I don't have to dig at all,” Scott bragged. “Using one hand only won't make the job faster.”
As Izzy began to dig rapidly with Scott watching her, MK turned to Chase and Ripper laying a net down on the ground with headlights attached. “Chase, Ripper, the rest of us agreed on a plan,” she informed. “We could use a little help.
“And we could also use you shutting up!” Ripper retorted. “We're busy!”
Confessional: MK
“If I wasn't so focused on strategy, I'd switch targets from Scott to Ripper just to spite his butt,” MK sniffed. “It's hard finding common ground with that jerk.”
Confessional Ends
The footage cut back with a shot of MK and Izzy digging a large hole in the distance and Scott observing them as though viewed through binoculars. "So what's going on?" Millie asked off-camera as the binoculars were lowered and the viewpoint shifted to Jasmine.
"Izzy and MK are currently digging and Scott is just standing there," Jasmine explained, "although I don't know if it's because they want to bury the trunk or construct a foxhole."
"What about the others?" Anne Maria asked.
"I don't know," Jasmine replied. "Ripper and Chase seem to have disappeared."
"I say we attack immediately!" Anne Maria declared with an air of formality.
"I say we don't," Millie shook her head. "The team obviously outnumber us and have defensive capabilities. Confronting them at this point would be really dumb."
"So what do we do?" Justin asked.
"What we need to do is to proceed intelligently if we want to win the challenge," Millie said.
“Sure. Let’s wait for the other team to set up more traps that will never let us get that trunk,” Anne Maria said sarcastically.
“That’s not what we’re going to do, Anne Maria,” Jasmine assured. “Millie, how are we gonna go about doing this?”
"We should send two people down there in order to figure out what they’re up to," Millie suggested. "That honor should go to Justin and Anne Maria."
"And why us?" Justin objected.
"Me and Jasmine need to think of a plan number two in case this plan fails," Millie reasoned. "All you guys have to do is execute this one."
"Whatever you say, Mil," Anne Maria said before grabbing Justin’s arm and walking away. "Let's go, hot stuff."
Confessional: Anne Maria
“I’m kinda surprised that Justin didn’t try to weasel his way outta the plan,” Anne Maria confessed. “What’s his game?”
Confessional: Justin
“We really need to win this challenge,” Justin said seriously. “By the look of things, my charms aren’t going to win the girls over and I’ll likely be the one going home today. So for the sake of my game, I’ll help out.”
Confessionals End
The footage skipped ahead to Anne Maria and Justin charging into the clearing the Gaffers started. "Where are they?" Justin asked after they stopped. “Jasmine just saw them.”
"Split up and look in other directions," Anne Maria ordered. “They may be hidin’ someplace else.”
The camera zoomed into the hole the Gaffers were in. "So how long do we have to stay in here for?" Izzy asked MK.
"Hopefully long enough for the Grips to admit defeat," MK answered.
"We’re good for now. We just have to not act stupid and blow our cover," Scott said while rubbing his sling. “And I don’t normally do this, but good job on the explosion, Izzy. It really helped us win the first part.”
Izzy was stunned to hear this. “Did you just… compliment me?” the wild child asked.
“Yeah, I did,” Scott replied. “I thought you’d just make a random explosion given how nuts you are, but you actually planned it out.”
“Yeah, how did you come up with the plan to just demonstrate Chris’s face?” MK asked.
“Chris is extremely narcissistic and vain,” Izzy explained. “Anything that revolves around his image will make him score us big points.”
“You’re not joking about that,” MK rolled her eyes. “He’s more likely to marry himself.”
The scene cut to Justin and Anne Maria meeting up with each other in front of the Gaffers' hideout. "Were you able to find the Gaffers? Because I could not," Justin said.
“I had no luck as well,” Anne Maria recapped.
The camera zoomed out to reveal that the duo were on top of the net trap, and they got hoisted up in the air by it.
"Got you dorks!" Ripper's laughing voice said off screen. The camera cut to him coming out of a nearby tree. "Chase, now!"
Chase's yell was heard as he swung on a cord before landing in front of the two Grips. He cut the rope holding the net trap, and Anne Maria and Justin were flung out of sight.
The camera cut back to the Grips' starting location. Millie and Jasmine watched in shock as their teammates crashed into the ground and groaned after they landed, prompting them to go check on their moaning teammates.
“There's, there's a... there's a scratch!” Justin said after feeling his face. “My face can't continue to take all this abuse! I'm losing it! You… you… you gotta let me go on leave!”
“I ain’t buyin’ any of this,” Anne Maria scoffed as she stood up and rubbed the dirt off her clothes.
“We all get scratches. I got a mosquito bite on my neck once, but that didn’t stop me from going to my job,” Jasmine lectured.
Anne Maria and Jasmine walked off, and Justin turned his eyes to Millie. “Millie, I know you’re a female. Can you help?”
“You were able to have girls wrapped around your finger, and now you’re getting zero play,” Millie summarized with apathy.
“You really are quick-witted,” Justin said in surprise.
“Relationship with Chase aside, I don’t really think you’re that cute,” Millie said. “Why else did I not want to kiss you in that challenge?”
“Like I care what you think,” Justin shot back in an offended manner and finally got off the ground.
Confessional: Justin
“Me? Not cute? I'll tell you who's not cute. Blind people named Millie!” Justin stated, upset.
Confessional Ends
"So it seems that the Gaffers will not come out until they're sure that we forfeit," Millie told her team.
"Which we’re not going to do," Jasmine said.
"Wasn't even planning on it," Anne Maria told her. "We should attack again the minute they show their faces, and I have a way to make sure that we’ll take that trunk."
"You two definitely have to help us this time," Justin reminded Jasmine and Millie. "We'll be outnumbered otherwise."
The footage returned to the Gaffers, Ripper and Chase now with them. "How much time do we have left?" Izzy childishly asked her team.
"I don't know and I don’t care, but we're still staying in this joint until time is up," MK declared.
"How many traps did you guys even set up while you were gone?" Scott questioned Chase and Ripper.
"We set up a total of four," Chase claimed. "Anne Maria and Justin hit one of them, so now we have three."
“This is why you shouldn’t doubt us, MK,” Ripper told his short teammate.
“I didn’t doubt you. I just wanted you to stay and help us,” MK argued. “And just because the other team set off one trap, doesn’t mean that I have to worship you like you’re Jesus,” she said before smirking, “and there’s no way you’re even next to godliness.”
“Pot calling the kettle black much?” Ripper snorted. “I still helped out, even if it wasn’t by your rulebook.”
“MK smart, Ripper strong,” Chase interrupted. “Can we all just agree that we’re special in our own ways?”
Ripper and MK frowned at each other and sighed.
“You’re not as dumb as you look,” MK grumbled.
“And you’re not an extreme big mouth,” Ripper mumbled.
“Good. I’m done playing mediator for the day,” Chase said.
"This is getting boring," Izzy moaned impatiently. "We should just go out there and attack the Grips."
"I’m tired of waiting as well," Scott spoke up. “Those losers are not getting our trunk.”
"We’re done arguing today, so how about we put it to a vote?" Ripper suggested.
"All in favor of going in for battle?" Chase asked as he raised his arm up, as did Ripper, Scott, and Izzy.
"I’m clearly outnumbered here,” MK sighed. “We'll go out in the open, but bring the trunk along."
The scene flashed to the Gaffers coming out of their hole and putting their trunk down. They saw the Grips charging at them, and they prepared themselves.
"There’s four of them and five of us," Scott took note with a grin. "I’m liking our odds already."
“But how are we going to take them down exactly?” Chase asked.
Izzy whipped out a smoke bomb from behind her back and held it up high. “Smoke bomb! Never leave home without it!”
As soon as the Grips reached their site, Izzy proceeded to throw the bomb at them. The Grips froze at the sight of this, but Anne Maria took out two hair spray cans, and after the smoke bomb hit the floor, a large white cloud covered the screen, but Anne Maria was able to spray their way out of it, and the team resumed running.
“Retreat!! Retreat!!” Izzy ordered her team, but it was too late when Anne Maria threw her spray cans on the floor in front of the Gaffers, and after they exploded, the Gaffers coughed profusely due to the extreme stench, leaving the trunk alone for the Grips to grab.
“So long, Gaffers!” Anne Maria taunted. “Grips rule!”
The scene cut to the Grips dropping the trunk on the floor after they returned to their site. “And that’s how we win it!” Anne Maria boasted.
"Time's up!" a sudden announcement came as Chris walked into view along with the other castmates. "The Grips have stolen the chest, putting them in the winner's circle."
"That means," Chris added while walking towards the Gaffers, "the Gaffers will be sending home one of their own tonight. And now, it's time to reveal to the winners," a reverent tune began to play as a spotlight was placed on the trunk, "the mind-blowing secrets within this trunk! Here's what you were fighting for, team!" The lid popped open, and Jasmine and Millie looked inside.
Their grins rapidly faded away as the reverent music came to a sudden and scratchy stop. "All that work," Millie said with a shocked look as a lighter and more emotional melody began to play.
"All that pain," Jasmine added.
"Pain?" Millie asked in confusion. "We rarely got hurt!"
"Still," Jasmine continued quickly, "all this for what?"
"A trunk that was empty the whole time!" Millie declared.
"War is a cruel, cruel thing," Jasmine concluded.
The Gilded Chris Ceremony began with all its usual fanfare, and after the introduction the footage flashed straight on to Chris standing at his podium. "This one's a nail-biter," he told the five seated teens. "I'd say no one's safe tonight. Izzy, how do you feel about your chances?"
The camera cut over to Izzy, sitting on the highest level of the bleachers. "Honestly, I feel pretty good about them," she said with a smile. "I was the one that scored my team the win for the first part of the challenge, and if I were to be going home today, it'd likely be because I blew the challenge."
“Or because you reverted back to your impersonations like E-Scope,” Ripper added.
“That's a thing of the past, Ripper,” Izzy said.
"Then," Chris continued, "there's Scott. Although you didn't cost your team the challenges or throw them on purpose, you didn't contribute much. Plus, your broken arm makes you a bit of a liability. Will you be the one sitting in the Lame-o-sine tonight?"
“We'll just have to see it to believe it,” Scott deadpanned.
"Chase, MK, Ripper!" Chris said with a broad smile. "Seems your tussles aren't entertaining anybody, not even your team. Are you worried?"
"Why would I? This team needs me, man!" Ripper shot a cocky smile.
"Alright then," Chris announced, "votes have been tabulated!" A folded card parachuted into view next to him, and he quickly snatched it up and held it to his forehead without bothering to read its contents. The tension began to build in the music. "So, it's time to present the awards. Tonight, the Gilded Chris goes to...MK, Ripper, and...Chase!" he said in succession, each name followed by the sound of an award being thrown and caught. "And now, only two nominees left."
The background music picked up as the screen was split, with spotlights on Izzy on the left and Scott on the right. "The final award goes to...," Chris said slowly as Scott watched nervously while Izzy smiled and held two fingers up to the camera. "Izzy!"
The camera panned left slightly as the wild child caught her golden statuette. "Hold on, wha?" Scott stammered in shock. "This has to be a joke, right?"
“No, it isn't,” MK said with a grin, “and you have me to thank for that.”
“You… you backstabbed me?!” Scott said with a bit of shock and anger.
“With four votes to one,” MK cackled. “I just did what you did to your previous alliance. Don't get all hypocritical.”
"Unbelievable!" Scott grumbled before he was grabbed by Chef and carried over the shoulder down the Walk of Shame.
Confessional: Izzy
“This was the perfect opportunity to get rid of Scott after all he's done in the first season,” Izzy said. “I'd be dumb to pass this up.”
Confessional: Chase
“Even with Scott trying to convince me otherwise, there was no way I wasn't going to vote him off,” Chase told the audience. “Besides, he can heal his broken arm off the show.”
Confessional: MK
“It's not hard getting people to vote off a disliked contestant, especially if that someone was the villain of last season,” MK mentioned. “I can't be tied down to Scott for much longer, and this is my season to shine!” she ended her confessional on a serious note.
Confessionals End
Scott was unceremoniously thrown into the waiting limousine by Chef. The door slammed shut, the limo sped off, and the camera cut back to a close-up of Chris.
"Well, we finally got rid of Scott the Schemer," he told the camera. "With him gone, hopefully we can stop providing benefits for him and not have to worry about being sued. Catch you next time," he said with a salute, "on Total! Drama! Action!" He ended the salute and put his hands behind his back, then smiled as he said "At ease!"
(Roll the Credits)
(Bonus Clip)
“I can't believe it!!” Scott grunted in the limousine. “MK totally duped me! Though given how much my team was against me, I knew I wasn't going to last this time,” he admitted reasonably. “Seems MK's this season's baddie, and an effective one she is. I'm still expecting the hundred thousand dollars to be delivered to me if it's the last thing the show will do for me. With me out of the game, I don't have to be forced to endanger my arm just for views, and maybe the next time you guys see me, I won't have this bandana around my forehead. The brand should be gone by now.” He used his good arm to take the bandana off, and was surprised by how little the branded “S.U.C.K.E.R.” was on his forehead. “Well would you look at that? I don't think I'll be needing this anymore.” He rolled down the window and tossed the cloth out, and then winced in pain afterwards and clutched his injured arm.
Eva - 14th
Geoff - 14th
Izzy - RETURNED
Trent - 12th
Sky - 11th
Brick - 10th
Scott - 9th
Killer Grips: Anne Maria, Jasmine, Justin, Millie
Screaming Gaffers: Chase, Izzy, MK, Ripper

Full Review here: https://jamesfiorucci.wordpress.com/2024/05/31/simple-audio-review-hifiman-he400se/
HiFiMAN, the Chinese audio company that brought planar magnetic technology to the masses, released the affordable HE400 a decade ago in 2014. Then considered cheap for $399, the same design has been improved upon with numerous innovations across multiple generations, including stealth-magnet technology in the latest iteration, the HE400se, released in 2021.
Perhaps best of all, the price has also trickled down, and the HE400se can be easily found for less than 100 dollars at major retailers and HiFiMAN's own online store. This would have been unfathomable back in 2014, the question though is will the sound quality impress as much as the novelty of a sub-$100 planar? Let's find out.
Many thanks to Mark at HiFiMAN for loaning out the HE400se for review.

Build and Comfort

The build is well... fine I guess. Being made primarily of plastic and using very thin planar drivers, you don't want to drop these headphones if you can help it. While the headband looks sturdy and probably is, the yoke adjustment feels a little rickety and may be a failure point if you like to adjust it often.
I found the comfort to be passable, but I couldn't help but get a hotspot on the crown of my head after an hour of two without fail. It's a thick headband with no comfort strap and stiff padding, so it's no surprise that it's a common sticking point for many HiFiMAN fans and headphone enthusiasts that have put up with this headband design.
The only other thing you get in the box with your headphones is a black rubbery cable and a 3.5mm to quarter inch adapter. Clearly HiFiMAN have spent almost all of their budget on making trying to make the headphone sound good; we shall see if they have succeeded in this aspect in the sound section of this review.

Sound

Planar technology and stealth magnets for an unbeatable price, will the sound be just as difficult to beat as well? Long story short, you aren't going to get a better technical performance from any headphone in the ultra-budget price category than the HiFiMAN HE400se.
Just as a little side note, I was shocked by how much the sound changes when you put your hands over the cups. Not that it matters much though.

Bass

The subbass does taper off ever so slightly in its deepest reaches, so you don't get that stereotypical prominent rumble that other planars, even those in HiFiMAN's own lineup, do.
Furthermore, the midbass frequencies are on the lean side of the spectrum, and macrodynamics are not the best which is a characteristic of lower-level planar magnetic cans.
All these factors combine to provide a decently well-extended but laid-back bass experience that won't particularly excite but won't offend either.

Midrange

When it comes to the midrange, you have the usual HiFiMAN-esque recession between 1.5kHz and 3kHz, which is believed to help widen the soundstage and give the impression of space.
Some also say that it results in a "plasticky" midrange timbre, but I personally don't hear it. What I do hear however is a veil to vocals, particularly female vocals which take a decisive step back in the mix. It lends itself to a relaxed vocal presence, by all means preventing shoutiness which plagues other headphones.
The trade-off is less vocal intimacy, as if you're listening from the middle rows of a concert hall rather than in a personal booth with the artist. There's pros and cons to both.

Treble

The treble is subtly elevated and remains so into its uppermost registers, which can't be said for all of its nearest competitors.
Despite the HE400se being what can be described as "neutral-bright" in its sound signature, it is far from being fatiguing to listen to even for a treble-sensitive person like myself. It's sparkly, and gives a sense of air to instruments and vocals that can emphasise the texture of sounds in a pleasant way. Depending on the track, treble can be the star of the show with the HE400se.

Detail, Imaging and Soundstage

Being a planar magnetic, you get a keen sense of immediacy and excellent microdynamics for the price. However, a decent dynamic driver headphone for a hundred or so bucks more will prevail over the HE400se in the detail retrieval department.
For under $100, I haven't heard a headphone that images as well as these HiFiMANs do. The soundstage width isn't particularly wide, but within the narrow-ish stage you can pinpoint the precise location of sounds and instruments better than anything else I've listened to in the budget category.
This may well be the first audiophile headphone you buy as a first taste for proper head-fi, in which case the sense of holography and the 3D-like surround-sound feeling in your head will probably blow you away the moment you hit play.

Drivability

A quick word on the power requirement of the HiFiMAN HE400se. With a sensitivity of 91dB/mW, an amplifier with a decent power output and more importantly a high current flow is needed to unlock the full potential of the HE400se.
Considering the volumes that I typically listen at (~65dB), I found I could get to comfortable levels through my phone and laptop. However, dynamics were even more blunted and the soundstage became even narrower than it usually is. It didn't suddenly become bad, but to unlock that final five or ten percent of sound quality a dedicated DAC/amp is a necessity.

Overall Verdict

The HiFiMAN HE400se has been out for a number of years now, but is yet to be usurped as one of the best bang-for-buck headphones on the market. It's still the only planar magnetic headphone you can find brand-new for less than a 100 bucks. As long as you can look past the plastic build and minor comfort niggles, the sound emanating from the HE400se is the perfect gateway to audiophilic nirvana.

Rating: 8/10

The Common Admission Test (CAT) is one of the most prestigious entrance exams for management aspirants in India. It is the gateway to the Indian Institutes of Management (IIMs) and several other top business schools. As CAT 2024 approaches, it’s crucial for aspirants to have a comprehensive understanding of the exam details, including important dates, syllabus, preparation strategies, registration process, eligibility criteria, and exam pattern.

Important Dates for CAT 2024

The timeline for CAT 2024 typically follows a consistent schedule. Below are the tentative dates:

• Release of Notification: Last week of July 2024
• Start of Online Registration: First week of August 2024
• End of Online Registration: Mid-September 2024
• Admit Card Release: Last week of October 2024
• Exam Date: Last Sunday of November 2024
• Result Declaration: Second week of January 2025

It’s important to regularly check the official CAT website for any updates or changes in the schedule.

Syllabus for CAT 2024

The CAT exam tests candidates on three main areas:

1. Verbal Ability and Reading Comprehension (VARC):

- Reading Comprehension (RC)
- Sentence Correction
- Critical Reasoning
- Paragraph Summary
- Para-jumbles
- Odd Sentence Out

1. Data Interpretation and Logical Reasoning (DILR):

- Data Interpretation (Tables, Charts, Graphs)
- Logical Reasoning (Puzzles, Arrangements, Syllogisms, Logical Sequences)

1. Quantitative Ability (QA):

- Arithmetic (Percentage, Profit and Loss, Time and Work)
- Algebra (Equations, Inequalities)
- Geometry and Mensuration
- Number System
- Modern Math (Permutation and Combination, Probability)

Preparation Tips for CAT 2024

1. Understand the Exam Pattern: Familiarize yourself with the CAT exam pattern, types of questions, and marking scheme.
2. Create a Study Plan: Develop a realistic and structured study plan, allotting time for each section based on your strengths and weaknesses.
3. Regular Practice: Solve previous years’ papers and take mock tests to build speed and accuracy. Regular practice helps in understanding the exam pattern and identifying areas needing improvement.
4. Focus on Concepts: Strengthen your conceptual knowledge, particularly in Quantitative Ability. Clear basics can help in solving complex problems more efficiently.
5. Reading Habit: Enhance your reading speed and comprehension skills by reading newspapers, journals, and books. This will help in the VARC section.
6. Analyze Mocks: After taking mock tests, analyze your performance thoroughly. Identify mistakes and work on them to avoid repetition.
7. Time Management: Learn to manage time effectively during the exam. Practice solving questions within a set timeframe to improve time management skills.
8. Stay Healthy: Maintain a balanced diet, get enough sleep, and take breaks to keep your mind fresh and focused.

Registration for CAT 2024

The registration process for CAT 2024 involves the following steps:

1. Visit the Official Website: Go to the official CAT website.
2. Create an Account: Register by providing necessary details like name, email address, and phone number.
3. Fill the Application Form: Complete the application form with personal, academic, and work experience details.
4. Upload Documents Upload scanned copies of your photograph, signature, and necessary certificates.
5. Select Test Centers: Choose your preferred test cities.
6. Pay Application Fee: Pay the application fee online using a credit card, debit card, or net banking.
7. Submit the Form: Review the filled application form and submit it.

Eligibility Criteria for CAT 2024

To be eligible for CAT 2024, candidates must meet the following criteria:

1. Educational Qualification: A bachelor’s degree with at least 50% marks or equivalent CGPA (45% for SC, ST, and PWD categories) from a recognized university.
2. Final Year Students: Candidates appearing for the final year of their bachelor’s degree or awaiting results can also apply. They must submit proof of meeting the eligibility criteria within the stipulated time.
3. Age Limit: There is no age limit for appearing in the CAT exam.

Exam Pattern for CAT 2024

The CAT exam pattern is designed to assess the aptitude of candidates through various sections. The expected pattern for CAT 2024 is as follows:

• Mode of Exam: Online (Computer-Based Test)
• Duration: 120 minutes (2 hours)
• Sections: Three (VARC, DILR, QA)
• Number of Questions: Approximately 66-76 (varies year to year)
• Type of Questions: Multiple Choice Questions (MCQs) and Type in the Answer (TITA) questions
• Marking Scheme: +3 for each correct answer, -1 for each incorrect MCQ, and no negative marking for TITA questions

Section-wise Distribution

• VARC: 24-26 questions (40 minutes)
• DILR: 20-22 questions (40 minutes)
• QA: 22-24 questions (40 minutes)

Key Points to Remember

• Ensure that you manage your time effectively, allocating appropriate time to each section.
• Focus on accuracy to minimize negative marking.

Preparing for CAT 2024 requires dedication, strategic planning, and consistent effort. Stay updated with official announcements and make the best use of the resources available to achieve your goal of securing a seat in a top management institute. Good luck!
CAT 2024: Exam Dates, Syllabus, Preparation Tips, Registration, Eligibility, and Pattern

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