Maintaining a lush and vibrant lawn in Pompano Beach, Florida, requires specialized care and attention to detail due to the region's unique climate and environmental conditions. Lawn care in this coastal city involves a combination of regular maintenance, proper fertilization, pest control, and water management. This article explores the essential aspects of lawn care in Pompano Beach and highlights the expert services offered by professional lawn care providers like EPR Landscaping.

Understanding the Climate of Pompano Beach

Pompano Beach enjoys a subtropical climate characterized by warm temperatures year-round, high humidity, and distinct wet and dry seasons. These conditions are ideal for various types of grass but also pose challenges such as drought stress during the dry season and fungal diseases during the wet season. Effective lawn care strategies must address these factors to ensure a healthy and resilient lawn.

Key Lawn Care Practices

Regular Mowing and Trimming
Regular mowing is crucial to maintaining a healthy lawn. The frequency of mowing depends on the growth rate of the grass, which can vary with the seasons. In Pompano Beach, grass often grows quickly due to the warm climate and needs to be mowed frequently during the growing season. Proper mowing techniques, such as keeping the mower blades sharp and not cutting more than one-third of the grass height at a time, help prevent stress on the grass and promote even growth.
Fertilization
Fertilizing the lawn provides essential nutrients that support robust growth and a vibrant green color. In Pompano Beach, a balanced fertilization schedule tailored to the specific grass type and soil conditions is important. Applying fertilizers at the right times of the year, typically in the spring and fall, can help maintain healthy growth and improve the lawn's resilience against pests and diseases.
Pest and Weed Control
Pests and weeds can quickly damage a lawn if not properly managed. Common pests in Pompano Beach lawns include chinch bugs, grubs, and sod webworms. Implementing an integrated pest management (IPM) approach, which combines cultural, mechanical, biological, and chemical methods, can effectively control these pests while minimizing environmental impact. Similarly, regular monitoring and the use of pre-emergent and post-emergent herbicides help keep weeds at bay.
Water Management
Proper watering is essential for lawn health, particularly during the dry season. Lawns in Pompano Beach should be watered deeply but infrequently to encourage deep root growth. Using smart irrigation systems that adjust watering schedules based on weather conditions and soil moisture levels can conserve water and ensure that the lawn receives adequate hydration without overwatering.

Professional Lawn Care Services by EPR Landscaping

EPR Landscaping in Pompano Beach offers comprehensive lawn care services designed to keep lawns looking their best year-round. Their team of experts understands the local climate and soil conditions and provides tailored solutions to meet the specific needs of each lawn.
Customized Lawn Care Programs
EPR Landscaping creates customized lawn care programs that include regular mowing, fertilization, pest control, and weed management. By assessing the unique characteristics of each lawn, they develop a plan that ensures optimal health and appearance.
Eco-Friendly Practices
Committed to sustainability, EPR Landscaping uses eco-friendly lawn care practices whenever possible. This includes the use of organic fertilizers, integrated pest management techniques, and smart irrigation systems to reduce environmental impact and promote long-term lawn health.
Seasonal Lawn Maintenance
To address the seasonal challenges of lawn care in Pompano Beach, EPR offers seasonal maintenance services. This includes aeration and overseeding in the fall to improve soil health and promote new growth, as well as tailored fertilization and pest control treatments throughout the year.

Conclusion

Lawn care in Pompano Beach requires a comprehensive approach that takes into account the local climate, soil conditions, and potential challenges such as pests and water management. With the right techniques and professional services from experts like EPR Landscaping, homeowners can enjoy a lush, green lawn that enhances the beauty and value of their property. Whether it's regular maintenance, customized care programs, or sustainable practices, effective lawn care ensures that Pompano Beach lawns remain healthy and vibrant year-round.

dealing with a problematic member of a board games group
Originally posted to Ask A Manager
EDITORS NOTE: Changed Q to Quinn for easier reading
Original Post Sept 15, 2022
I wanted to write and say thank you.
I am part of a local board games group, and started to run the group a while ago. It’s a great group of people who all enjoy coming together to play board games and have fun, and it was one of the key factors in making my husband and I feel at home in the city where we live. We have both made friends with people in the group, and it’s now a firm part of our life here. In addition, a regular member who left recently said that the group was the highlight of his week, which was lovely to hear. I love running the group!
However, there is a member of the group, Quinn, who has been in the group since it started (seven years or more) and has been displaying problematic behavior since he joined (rude comments, refusing to play anyone else’s games, losing his temper at times, leaving games in a huff when he’s losing, and generally making the atmosphere unpleasant for others). When we joined, we were told that Quinn bothered everyone but was just something that was being in the group, so we went along with that. At the time, the group was very serious and inclined towards more serious board games, and only three people ever brought games. There has been a real change of culture since then, with a range of games being played (light games, traditional games, and heavy games) and everyone brings games now. The atmosphere is a lot lighter, with more emphasis on having fun and being social, and this is something that Quinn does not enjoy and has not adjusted well to.
When I started to run the group, I noticed Quinn’s behavior was having a terrible effect on the group (people not coming back because of him or doing anything to avoid playing with him, and his preference for playing games in reverential silence making sessions less fun for everyone). I also realized that some people were at breaking point with this and it might contribute to them leaving.
The deputy (Kelly) and I wanted to ensure that we did it fairly and using the right procedure. We gathered feedback on the group, (which was useful in itself!), which confirmed that Quinn’s behavior was an issue, and I spoke to him, named what we were seeing with clear examples, and explained what we needed to see change. Quinn said he would take it on board. Your scripts and language were very helpful, as Quinn takes things very literally and factually.
Quinn’s behavior improved for four weeks, which was great. Some people have put up with it for so long that no amount of change will make them want to play games with Quinn, but some people were willing to give Quinn a chance. Unfortunately, Quinn’s behavior started to slip after four weeks, culminating in a session where they almost put a new member off coming back by lecturing them about group etiquette and insulting their game shelves with what was meant to be a joke, but did not land.
I spoke to Quinn again and explained that since the behavior we discussed had returned, if this did not improve, we would have to ask Quinn to leave as the group is for everyone and I need to do what’s right for the group as a whole.
Quinn took the points on board and was visibly upset at the thought of being asked to leave the group. Since we spoke to them, they haven’t attended of the two sessions since then, but they are still chatting on our Discord channel and seem to be trying to make amends by promoting the group to a students’ group in the city we live in.
We don’t know what will happen, but Kelly and I have agreed what behaviors will mean Quinn will be asked to leave, and your scripts and posts were invaluable in thinking about how to tackle this, and what language to use. Your posts have helped me realize that being the group leader means that the buck stops with me. For example, my husband and I disagreed on how to handle the situation (he was in favor of asking Quinn to leave immediately) but I had the confidence to think it through, follow the process through fairly, and know that if it didn’t work, that responsibility would rest with me.
This isn’t related to work per se, but I wanted to say thank you very much for the invaluable and free advice which has really helped me in navigating this situation!
Update Apr 11, 2024
I am the letter writer who runs a board games group and used Alison’s excellent advice about communication to deal with a problematic member of the games group and the issues their behavior was causing.
We had a twist in the tale recently when Quinn, the member who was asked to leave the group because their behavior was negatively impacting others, asked if they could come back.
For four weeks every year, we use a different venue as another group needs our normal venue. One one of the four weeks, I went for a walk before the session and noticed what looked like Quinn in the park. When the session started, Quinn appeared, just “passing by,” and we had a quick chat about this and that before they asked if they could come back to the group, saying they were in a better place now. They then left without ordering anything, which makes me think they dropped in just to see us.
I said I would send a message, and gave it due consideration. I also asked a friend who knows Quinn and used to be in the group, but has now moved, for their more objective input.
The decision was no: the group is working well as it is, with high numbers and between 11 and 20 people per session, and Quinn coming back would lead to awkwardness and possible animosity from a few people, some of whom would speak their mind. We would also lose a lot of members, and the group would slowly decline. For what it’s worth, one person who had some very negative interactions with Quinn, when they heard why Quinn was there ( they were round the corner), exclaimed “No!” to Quinn coming back, and this person is one of the nicest people you’ll meet. Similar reactions were given from others.
I sent Quinn a message explaining the decision, and I was as fair and kind as possible given the circumstances. Quinn has found another games group, albeit one that only plays light games, (not heavy games, Quinn’s preference), and I mentioned that and said it sounds like a nice group (which it does).
Quinn was perfectly pleasant when we chatted, but that was for about eight minutes, and they knew what was coming. They also said that they weren’t often doing the things I’d mentioned anymore (moving other people’s pieces, and a couple of other examples I gave), and that although their new group likes light games, they are helping some people progress up to heavier games. It wasn’t clear if the people wanted to progress (one of the issues we had was Quinn assuming that everyone wanted to progress).
The games group continues to do well, with enough surplus each year to give everyone free sessions every January, and we receive frequent feedback that the atmosphere is friendly and welcoming and that people feel at home and confident to bring and teach their games there. Our annual Christmas potluck dinner and session with a Secret Santa also continues. We also have a Google sheet with people’s games collections, if they want to add them, thanks to one of our members who likes spreadsheets.
For myself, Ask a Manager continues to help me out at work! I recently applied for a job which would be a step up income wise and I used Alison’s tips, and I use the communication tips in daily life as well as at work. I was actually used as a bargaining chip in recent negotiations at work over a type of meeting that needs minuting (for my minuting skills), so I will take that as a compliment!
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Hey guys, I (25M) wanted to post this here and get some advice of what to do next? I have been considering legal action, but I wonder if I have much of a case here. Some key things to note:

• I live in Nevada, USA, which is a right-to-work state and I was about to complete my 6-month probationary period before I was let go.
• I never signed off on a termination letter or any written statement about what happened
• The company I work for is a private company

I have been talking to my company's HR department about what happened and am still waiting to see what they say at the time of writing this. I'll just copy and paste what happened from the written statement I gave them:
"On 5/9/24 I was originally scheduled to work at 2 PM, and was heading into our office on the second floor when Chris, my director, was waiting for me at the elevator doors. At that moment, I did not know he requested to speak with me as I had not checked my messages yet prior to arriving to work. I followed him to a meeting room behind the bar on the casino floor and sat down with him and Kevin, a new Operations Manager that had just been promoted, as a witness. Chris informed me that I was being let go, to my shock. I asked why. He gave me a rather vague answer about how many factors have led to this decision, but he does not believe that I will mesh well with the team long-term and unfortunately it has come to this. When I had first started in my position, Chris and I had only two conversations about my progress and his concerns:
One was with my former superior Paul and Chris about how some of my behavior was a bit distracting to others and while it is good to be enjoying your work, please focus on my work and try to conversate with my coworkers about things relating to the job. I understood that, and took it in stride. I reigned it in and focused more on my tasks at hand and never heard another such complaint.
The second was when I had incorrectly scored an NHL game one night and the mistake was not found out until the next day, causing an all-around headache. I had similar, more minor mistakes in the past, so Chris told me to do better and that while mistakes are bound to happen, to have a better attention to detail. I understood and had improved in the months since that conversation and I hadn't made a mistake like that since.
With these in mind, I said to Chris that he couldn't deny that I hadn't improved since starting my position and my former issues had already been rectified, to which he agreed. So I asked him to give me a more tangible reason behind his decision. He cited my interactions with my coworker Logan made her feel uncomfortable in the office.
Logan is a girl the same age as me and her desk is on the other side of the room. My interactions with her were limited simply because of this fact and the most I ever spoke to her was greeting her when I arrived in the office, as I greeted everyone else, and benign small talk. May 9th is also her birthday, as I had heard from some of her other coworkers, so I even got her a birthday card and a singular cupcake that day.
For the record: I never singled her out in this treatment; in fact many times I had offered snacks or food to fellow coworkers. I even brought in staple snacks in Chinese culture for Chinese New Year this year a few months ago for the whole office to try. I offered them to everyone including Logan, as it is a big day in my culture and unfortunately I had to celebrate while at work. In my opinion, things like reminders of your birthday while at work is a very inclusive gesture and I was actively trying to make our company a better place to work at by promoting a more positive culture by setting an example. I even asked a coworker for his birthday so I could remember when it came around, as I realized I didn't know anyone's birthday yet. I did not mean anything by my actions, if they truly were making Logan feel uncomfortable, and I think some sort of warning beforehand would have been more than fair. If Logan herself was too uncomfortable with saying it to me personally, I could've also have heard it from any of my superiors first.
I made this point in my conversation with Chris; his only reply to me was that some people aren't comfortable enough doing that without hurting anyone's feelings. I feel that there is something more than what Chris told me and Logan's perception of me may not be the only reason I was terminated. And if Logan's perception of me was a deciding factor in my termination, I do not appreciate that treatment or assumptions being made of me simply because I am a man and she is a woman and therefore all my actions are perceived as malicious and/or having ulterior motives."

Indigenous knowledge has been vital to the Pacific Islands, keeping civilization alive and running with specific traditions. Indigenous knowledge can be explained as institutionalised local information, built-up knowledge, and stories passed from one generation to another by word of mouth that have impacted socialisation processes (Osunade, 1994). Although indigenous knowledge is vital to the Pacific, a lot of the knowledge has been lost over time. Through discussion, we will find why the Pacific has been through a loss of indigenous knowledge overtime.
Globalisation is one of the many reasons for the loss of indigenous knowledge. This is due to the increased connectivity, modernisation, and spread of Western lifestyles. These factors have created pressure on traditional Pacific communities. An example of how this has happened is through the allure of Western education, careers, and consumerism. These ideals have drawn Pasifika peoples away from their indigenous ways of doing things, as the traditional way may pay less or be less efficient. This has led to the gradual erosion of interest and investment in preserving cultural practices and knowledge.
Migration, driven by opportunities of higher paying jobs or jobs in general and climate changes like the rising of the sea level, has become a defining factor for many Pacific Island communities. A 1988 study on households of Tongan and Samoan residents in Sydney found that “only ten percent of respondents intended to return to their island countries” (Dickie, 2005). The attraction of better jobs and living conditions often draws young people away from their homelands, setting in motion a process that disrupts the vital transmission of indigenous knowledge. This migration disrupts the intergenerational passing down of indigenous knowledge, as young people become disconnected from the land, sea, and cultural practices that underpin traditional knowledge systems.
In the 1870s speaking Te Reo Māori in schools was forbidden because Māori at the time thought it would be best to be taught only English and ridding the use of Te Reo Māori. “supplement the law forbidding the speaking of Maori in class, or in the school grounds in school hours, no person or parent can engage a child in speaking Maori, and in such cases, any child can inform on that person or parent to the Committee, who shall be empowered to fine that person or parent the sum of five shillings.” (Native Schools Act, 1867) The empowered Māori put this law in place to civilise the Māori youth and integrate them into the English system, which in return caused a great loss in our language. Because of this act the children moved to adulthood with a trauma that followed them with speaking their native tongue which also played a part in making Te Reo Māori a dying language at the time.
Education is crucial when it comes to the topic of saving indigenous knowledge. Young Pacific Islanders can gain a greater understanding of their cultural heritage by incorporating indigenous knowledge into formal education systems. Efforts that back local craftsmen, fishermen, and farmers in safeguarding traditional practices that help in the growth of indigenous knowledge. By supporting language immersion programs, we can protect this part of our Pacific island's culture. Another way we can safeguard our indigenous knowledge could be through online platforms where stories and legends could be shared to keep them alive. Creating story books of legends for young ones to read and having social events focused on spreading awareness of the loss of indigenous knowledge to motivate the newer generations to keep it alive.
Altugan (2015) found positive outcomes when teachers taught children with the same ethnic background. Through their commonality, the students were more motivated to do their work and achieved greater grades as they could learn about their culture and understand work through their similar cultural backgrounds. Having Pasifika people teach Pasifika youth about indigenous knowledge could positively impact youth and keep this knowledge alive for future generations as they may be more motivated and understood when indigenous knowledge is passed on through Pasifika people.
These practices and forms of preserving and teaching indigenous knowledge may impact the identity of Pasifika peoples. According to Correa Charles (1983), we find our identity through the knowledge and understanding of ourselves and our environment. As someone who may not know much of the indigenous history they are related to, figuring out more indigenous knowledge may help them feel as though more of their identity is found. This loss of indigenous knowledge may also be a loss of some Pasifika’s identity.
Due to the appeal of more Western cultures, indigenous knowledge needs to be recovered and constantly recognized to revitalise its importance for future generations. As discussed, multiple threats are found, which are reasons for the loss of indigenous knowledge. These serve as significant indicators of what to watch out for and work on towards the preservation of cultural practices. As there is already a loss of indigenous knowledge, specifically among the youth, the disconnection from their culture must be acted upon. As the youth are our future, they also hold the ability to keep or lose more indigenous knowledge. This means many efforts need to be made to preserve and teach to keep indigenous knowledge going for future generations

The moment a lot of you have been waiting for is here!
A couple of notes before you read (or after because I would just jump into the list right away too)

1. Direct quotes from Ali herself are in italics.
2. I tried my best to keep everything in timeline order. Some people like The Come Back Kid I placed in the order where they reconnected/talked about on the pod. But I did my best to note this.
3. All this information came from the FMH podcast, the Patreon, the original FMH blog, TikTok and other podcast that feature FMH/Ali. I also crossed reference information with this sub. I got most of this done with the help of the Patreon and listening to 1.75x speed but I lost accessed to the Patreon because my subscription ended.
4. I'm open to edits! Things around the matchmaker era confused me and if anything is incorrect or if I'm missing someone, please let me know! I will note where corrections are made.
5. Some people don't have anything simply because only a name was said or I couldn't find any details about the person/date
6. And of course, please be respectful of all the sub rules!

Names on the original FMH blog

• Mr. Adorable aka The Coach
• Trouble
• Waffles
• Future Husband Brian (FHB)
• Cookie
• Peter Pan
• Ambiguous Goodbye Guy
• Bad Bitch Man

AOL chatroom Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok and on the pod once
Myspace Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok
Third Boyfriend
Met on eCrush.com in 2002 and this was mentioned on the Cracked Up podcast, The Dave Glaser Podcast and Tiktok
The Kiwi
Met on a 2 week Model UN type youth trip in high school when Ali was 15, never a boyfriend but she had a huge crush on him, he tried to kiss Ali and she literally ran away, didn’t talk the rest of the trip but exchanged numbers and screen names (Ali’s was FineGal13 or BeachJewel760), she made him a mixtape cd called “Ali’s really cool mix for The Kiwi” but never sent it and she still has it. In 2021, he DM’d her when she posted photos of her and her mom in France and invites her to visit him in London, she says she can’t but says they should catch up if he comes to NYC
Fourth Boyfriend
Met on OkCupid when you had to use it on the computer, this was mentioned on Tiktok
The Homecoming Date or Light Switch
First boyfriend? (she goes back and forth calling him her first bf or a situationship), a family friend, a month younger than Ali, dated in high school but went to different high schools, football player, made him ask her to her Homecoming dance over email (her words), Ali hid in the bathroom the whole Homecoming dance, 3-4 revisits of this situations as adults, saw him on Bumble a few years ago and texted him that he had a typo in his bio, “he very much wanted to be with me” and now he’s married with a kid. His mom is still “obsessed” with Ali and she listens to FMH
Random college guy
Freshman year of college, Ali doesn’t have a nickname for him/doesn’t remember his real name, met this guy through a friend, was texting him to invite him over to hot tub but her phone autocorrected to “how about some hot rubbing tonight?” but Ali didn’t noticed/didn’t correct it and he never replied, Ali had a house party and got really drunk and was all over him, he left the party early, she messaged him on MySpace 3-4 times asking why he left
The Resident
Matched on Match.com, first guy she dated in NYC after college, older than Ali, a doctor, lasted 3 months ”maybe”, he didn’t like Ali’s friends, got a card from him on her birthday and it said “Love, The Resident” and it took Ali back a little, Ali drinks black coffee because of him, he coordinated having her mom visit NYC for her birthday then he broke up with her a week later
The Ghost
Met at a bar when she was 25, turns out they matched on OkCupid and they already had a date scheduled next week, they dated for 6-8 weeks, had sleepovers, “The worst ghosting experience I’ve ever had”, he borrowed The Great Gatsby from Ali’s roommate, planned to make dinner together after a beach trip in August with her friends and never showed up, Ali is blowing up his phone and gets no reply, two weeks later she finally texts “are you alive? check yes or no” and he responds “Yes”, Ali then ask if he could return the book and gets no reply again, 5 months go by and she receives the book in the mail with the note: “Here’s the book back. Sorry. P.S. sorry about last summer. I was in a bad place. You’re a great person and your salmon is amazing”, since then she has ran into him twice on the streets and matched with him on Bumble
The Coach/Mr. Adorable
First serious boyfriend at 26/27 in 2013, matched on Match.com or met through work depending if you’re listening to the pod or reading her OG blog, clean-cut look, played volleyball, Ali invited him to a friend’s birthday party and they made out in the streets at 4am, on their second date he asked Ali if she was seeing any one and when Ali said no he ask her to be his girlfriend 3 days after their first date, dated for almost 1.5 years or almost 2 years depending on if you’re listening to the pod or the Patreon, first time saying “I love you” to a guy, “lovely guy“, never would posted Ali on his instagram until Ali said something, he “lived” with her for two weeks while he was in between apartments, tried blind folding/hair pulling during sex and she didn’t like it, by the end of their relationship Ali didn’t like sex and thought she wasn’t a very sexual person, after they broke up Ali drunk texted him at 2am and he picked her up and she spent the night and she took her things in the morning in a rolly suitcase, from her blog in 2015: “I just want to be careful I don’t end up with another Mr. Adorable situation, where I find myself dating my platonic best friend”, had drinks with him in 2016 from the blog: “Not in a romantic way (at least on my end)”, Ali still talks to him sometimes through casual instagram DMs, he’s currently (as of 2021) dating someone for 4+ years and Ali thinks they’re going to get engaged
Trouble
OG 2015 FMH blog, never mentioned on the pod, “I was immediately enamored with him”, met at a Beer Olympic party but he worked with one of Ali’s best friends (Ali was still dating The Coach at the time), lived in BK, tattoos and stubble, Ali’s best friend said he was a “fuck boy”, “he very much made me see that it was the right thing for me and The Coach to not be together”, from her blog in 2015: “he has this look in his eye like he’s constantly laughing at me – in a super sexy way”, he texted her saying he didn’t see anything romantically with her and she sent a gif of someone shrugging
Personal side note: Ali has mentioned she has cheated on someone but never disclosed who she cheated on or with. I feel like she cheated on Mr.A/The Coach with Trouble because of the timeline. Just a guess.
Waffles
Matched on Bumble, OG 2015 FMH blog, he asked Ali fuck/marry/kill breakfast foods, dated 2 months around summer time, on Fourth of July while watching fireworks he said how they had a great day and Ali replied with something along the lines with “yeah, it would be better if I could call you my boyfriend”, he said he wanted a relationship but just not with Ali and shortly afterwards they stopped seeing each other
The Buffalo
Lived in Buffalo NY, 6’5, Scorpio, met in 2015 at Adults National volleyball (Ali’s team won that year) where he was heckling her while she was playing, asks Ali’s mom for her number and Ali’s mom said “I guess you’re tall enough” and told him to ask her himself, he flew her out and she met his parents, dated over summer, exclusive but never boyfriend/girlfriend (but called him her LD boyfriend on TikTok), texted and talked on the phone a lot, Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “they had really good banter”, in October he invited her to his cousins wedding and she invited him to her friends wedding, after Ali bought her ticket to his cousins wedding (with the promise he would buy her ticket to her friend’s wedding) he ghosted and stonewalled her, she “poured her heart out to him on voicemail” and he never replied, she asked him to pay her back for her ticket and he got mad that she “made this about money”, 2 years later he told Ali that he freaked out because he really liked her and saw a future with her but knew she would never move to Buffalo and it would “never work”, Ali said at the time she would have considered moving for him, Ali used to have him blocked on Facebook and told all her friends not to update her on info about him (unless she asked). He’s now married and goes to Disney with his wife (which Ali kind of scoffs at?), Ali said on TikTok that she dodged a bullet
Baby Bic
Met him at Adults National years ago, had a flirtationship with him in 2016 when he was 19 years old, ran into him at the Adults Nationals 2021, last texts she got from him were about getting his fake ID taken away at the bar and him visiting her in NYC but Ali didn’t want to buy him beer and drink at her apartment
The Chef
Matched on Tinder around 2016, he loved karaoke, “total shit”, asked Ali to be his girlfriend and to meet his mom after a month, off and on dating, broke up the first time because he was talking to his ex, lied and flew to Mexico to see his ex while dating Ali, that ex sent Ali a Snapchat of them in bed together on that Mexico trip, Ali broke up with him via text and called him a shitty boyfriend, he’s the reason Ali deleted her Snapchat because of drunk Snaps he would send post break up, FB messaged Ali 6 years later (while Roark was visiting/staying with Ali) and said sorry for being a shit head. Ali’s best friends hated him
The Dentist
Met on Halloween in the wild, Canadian, dated NYE 2016- May 2017 “nice guy, not my guy”, one of Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “he adored you, “he was too sweet for me” and “he had no edge to him”, he painted Ali’s cat for her 30th birthday but she was annoyed it was just Rory and not both cats, The Chef texted Ali while on a date/sleeping at his house
ASV - Aspiring Sober Vegan
Met through a friend (her best guy friend’s college roommate) the day before she had to fly out to her dad’s memorial, a doctor, into meditation, remembered him “being cuter” when they went on a first date, felt “the spark”, had “omg this is awesome sex”, Ali described this relationship as a “slow burn” and “the most attracted she ever been to a partner” even thought she didn’t think he was that cute in the beginning, dated 2-3 months before he tried to ghost Ali but they talked and broke up, four months later they start casually dating/FWB because he’s moving but this turns into a ‘middle distance relationship’ and he moves to Philly, had a lot of communication issues but didn't have a lot of fights, wants to live in Ohio and give a % of his income to charity, Ali was close to saying ‘I love you’ but didn’t, he uninvited her to meet his extended family and they got in a fight, broke up with her a couple weeks before their 6 month anniversary at the park while on a picnic and told her that she’s still his favorite person, Ali used to think he was “the one that got away” and would frequently have dreams about him. From what Ali knows, he's sober but not vegan
The Scientist
2017 or 2018ish, from San Diego, went on one date, Ali ended up ghosting him due to the decline in her dad’s health, saw him on Hinge while she was in San Diego for 3 months in 2020, texted him and apologized for ghosting him, ended up going on 2-3 more dates, took a selfie in front of his house and sent it to him but acted like she didn’t know that was his house and made a TikTok about it, things ended up not working but she doesn’t make it clear on who ended it. She can now see she shouldn’t have been going on dates during this time when her dad was sick.
Good on Paper Divorced Dude
Met a couple of years ago (she told this story on TikTok in 2020) on Bumble
The Groomsman
Met at her friend Ashley’s wedding in Chicago Oct 2019, had a “two night stand” with him, texted/talked/FT’d for 3-4 months, divorced, never dated seriously/FWB, saw each other a couple time when he came to NYC, Ali stopped talking with him due to FMH and her trying to find a serious relationship, he starts dating someone, follows FMH on insta, slid into her DM in 2022 and then sent her soup while she was sick, turns out he’s single again, 2 months later Ali is heading to Chicago and texts him “Hello! Reminder that my arrival to your neck of the woods is imminent” and turns out he is now seeing someone and Ali doesn’t see him while in Chicago (at least she doesn’t mention it)
Unnicknamed person
He was her plus one at her best friend from college’s NYE wedding 2019/2020, met and hung out with Ali’s mom, posted photos of them together on her personal Insta story, “fully dating but weren’t official hehe” doesn’t have a nickname/never gave him a nickname? This could be The Latvian/the person she texted her friend in DC about saying “I think I’m on a date with my husband”

Starts FMH on January 2020 on Instagram/TikTok

The Traveler
He was browsing Bumble while Ali was in the bathroom during their first date, he was banned from Bumble and was using his grandma phone number. Ali turned down a second date
The Duke
Early FMH, went for long periods of time in between texts, 7-8 Zoom dates while Ali was in San Diego and he was in NY, Ali said you could see three of his ex’s on his instagram page (without scrolling), they finally went on one date and it was “meh” but they did kiss on their date
The Oyster
Matched on Bumble (he had one photo and no bio) two weeks before Valentines Day, Gemini, a lawyer, part of the 13 First Dates in 30 Days series (he was #13), dated Feb 2020-Aug 2020, love bomber, felt “the spark” and became official after 3 dates, best first date ever??? at the time, said “I love you” to Ali after two weeks, “For most of my relationship with The Oyster, he didn’t live in the city he had moved to Connecticut without telling me”, would fight all the time, opposite political views, Ali felt like a “fucking summer camp director” because she planned all their dates and he would get upset if Ali didn't have a plan, sought out a therapist (Megan) because of her relationship struggles because of him, went to Mass/church, he wanted a traditional marriage/life/wife/kids (at one point had Ali thinking she wanted that), didn’t want to live in NYC, didn’t support BLM, Cindy hated him
The Pilot
Went on 3 dates, texted a lot, didn’t hear back from him in four days and when she said she was looking to date someone who showed more consistency, he replied saying he met someone the day after their last date who seems to have more free time than Ali and he wants to pursue that but would like to be friends, Ali said on TikTok that this other women “bent her schedule to his schedule” and she was unwilling to do that. Mostly talked about him on TikTok
The Analyst
Matched on Bumble two years ago and went on one date, re matched in 2021 and he stood Ali up, she send him a text “getting stood up” script and he never replied. Only mentioned him on TikTok (?)

Ali and Roark start FMH: The Podcast February 2021

The Boomerang
First date on the pod? I couldn't find anything else about him
The Scuba Diver
The Music Man
One date, “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just not for me”, amped up small talk, complimented Ali a lot which made her feel awkward cause she wasn’t feeling it, he texted her and asked for a second date and Ali sent the no ghosting script
The Bet
Uses the phrase “ok bet”, 28 years old shoe designer, only went on one dinner date to a spot he picked, turns out its cash only and he didn’t bring cash, was not into him , not looking for the same thing
The Dinosaur
Nickname was previously The Hawaiian, first date at Dinosaur BBQ, stood in a parking spot to save for Ali, he asked for a kiss after their date and Ali declined saying maybe next time
The Rose
He sent her a rose on hinge, first date was an hour long walk in the park while drinking beer
The Comic
Matched on Hinge, older than Ali (Ali’s friends express how happy they were to hear that), had brunch on their first date (was the first part of a double header but the second guy canceled), listed as “moderate” politically on Hinge, good and easy convo, went back and forth twice over text and then never heard back from him, “technically not ghosting...”
The Camper
Met in the wild at a volleyball tournament in July, lives in Chicago, 27 years old, hung out the whole time, over heard Ali asking someone to get her a make out partner, gave Ali his number, drunkly ask him for a FT date in the future and he didn’t reply, Ali texts him again about a volleyball thing and he replied back with not a lot of enthusiasm, Ali is going to Chicago in Sept for a volleyball tournament and she’s already planning on playing 4-on-4 with her best friend vs. his roommate and maybe The Camper, he texts her saying he has to work on the date of the tournament and won’t be able to do the 4-on-4 game, “I feel like I got broken up with someone I never want to date in the first place”

Ali’s Matchmaker contract starts in August 2021 - 6 matches

The Schmoozer
Went on a dinner date, was chatting up the waitress in a kind of creepy way, was bragging about a lot of things and it turned Ali off and Ali texted him her no ghosting script
The Accountant
1st matchmaker match, 31 years old, lives in BK, his dad has also passed away, easy to talk to, on the third date she wasn’t sure if she saw a future with him and in her gut doesn’t feel like this would be a slow burn, Ali breaks things off with him, months (?) later he sent Ali a 5 min long voice memo and they said they were both down to see each other as friends. He later on dated and ghosted Erica
The Aussie
Matched on Hinge, in politics, from Australia but lived all over the place, asked Ali what she’s looking for on the first date and he said he’s “casually looking for something serious”, Ali accidentally walks up to a different person on their second date, Ali texts him saying she would love to see him before he leaves on a trip and she wasn’t happy that it took him till the next day to reply and he can’t see her before he leaves
The Goalie
Was supposed to be Ali’s 2nd match, he’s a paying client, Ali didn’t hear back from him for a while when she told him where she lived, he wrote to the matchmaker saying that she lived too far away even though it states where she lives in her matchmaker profile
The Journalist
2nd matchmaker match, ended things because she was dating/pursuing things with The Discoball and paused her matchmakers matches

The Threepeat
Matched multiple times on dating apps but this recent time with Hinge, Amazon seller, first date was a pizza lunch date (with bubbles aka champagne) and he gave her a single yellow carnation, talked a lot about her “side hustles” aka her food blog, coaching, FMH and the pod (Ali didn’t mentioned the name on FMH), had an awkward half kiss during the date and then gave her a peck when they said goodbye, he had no night stands by his bed?, spent the night but told public pod they had a movie night, different kissing styles, 6 dates, broke things off with Ali two days before her first date with The Rower WHILE Ali was on a Halloween girls trip
The Rower
Dated from Halloween 2021 till early Feb 2022, Pisces who is 6 days older than Ali, has an ex-fiancé (they dated for 8 years, engaged for two of them, she broke off the engagement with him 1.5 years ago once he started dating Ali), has a shared dog with this ex, slept together around Xmas on the fourth date and Ali got a UTI, first time having “omg this is awesome sex” since ASV, first person Ali slept next to wearing an eye mask "that's a big step for me", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, on New Years Day told her that he sees “long term relationship potential” with her but doesn’t want to be exclusive after 5 dates, “we didn’t talk all week”, he said he wasn’t as ready as he though to date someone seriously and “I don’t know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” they broke up over the phone, Ali said he’s a good human and wants to date someone like him, 3.5 weeks later Ali drunk texted him at 3:00 am saying “its really hard not to talk to you” which Ali said was a lie, he replied back (few days? A week later?) while Ali was on another date and it made her cry a bit, she replied back saying “the door is closed but not locked” in regards if he wants to get back together. “Fin… for now”

2022

The Discoball
Matched on Hinge but didn’t go on a first date for two week, Gemini, used to be a singer in a band, moved from DC to NYC, went on 7 dates in 2022, had a dog w/ ex and ex got full custody once he moved, met one of his friends on the second date, slept with him on the second date “morning and night”, he tried to find the podcast without knowing the name, podcasted from his house in DC, he would send Ali photos of them together “all the time”, gave a virtual presentation from his hotel room, did Molly together in DC, had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, moved to BK (didn’t see each other for 2 months pre-move), had a sex-less sleepover (a milestone for Ali), he showed up for her on her dad’s death date (something that a person she’s dating has never done), used to listen to the pod but stopped before they stopped seeing each other, ghosted her after they had a talk about moving things forward to exclusive and Ali texted him something along the lines of “your silence is the answer” when she didn’t hear back from him for a week and he ghosted her. Ali said he sucks in #77 AUA
Lisbon
The Brit
M&M
The Come Back Kid
They went on 2-3 dates in Nov 2018 and reconnected in May 2022, "felt immediately comfortable", sat next to a very drunk lady on their second 1st date and was supportive but "didn't step on Ali's toes" when the drunk lady said something offensive to Ali, couldn’t remember if they slept together or not, knows about FMH, ghosted Ali
The Trainer
The Cold Brew
The Nomad
3rd matchmaker match, reminded Ali of The Oyster, wanted kids and didn’t want to live in NYC forever, Ali was upset at first because her matchmaker was supposed to screen for that but the matchmaker DID check and it wasn’t mentioned when she was screening The Nomad, no second date because those are dealbreakers to him
The Catcher
Matched on Bumble, “good not great” after their first date, ~April 2022, talked about sports a lot on their first date
The Gentleman
4th matchmaker match, knew about Ali’s FMH socials before their date, Ali didn’t like his texting style, awkward intro on their first date “like hugging a 2 x 4”, he runs a dating event company and actually email Ali to be a guest on the pod when FMH first started, awkward goodbye, didn’t discuss the actual first date on the main pod because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to reach out again
The Tennis Pro
Ali had a good time on their date, “He is an adult, he’s mature” BUT “I don’t think he was into it”
The Padre
Matched on Bumble, 3 dates, from San Diego, “energy mismatch”, doesn’t want to know or listen to FMH, no psychical connection/kiss, only a kiss on the cheek on their last date, “I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night [a week]”, she didn’t want to do what The Threepeat did to her (break up while on vacation/traveling), she said it might be a MOO

Roark leaves and Erica joins the pod Oct 31st 2022

Captain Kirk
5th matchmaker match, found him on Bumble before their in-person date, ghosted Ali AND the matchmaker???
6th matchmaker match
Last match and Ali states she will not talk about this date or anything about it
JFK Kirk?
Matched on Bumble, didn’t realize he’s located in SD, exchanged personal instagram info, not sure where things went or how things ended

Kirk #1
Met in the wild, make out a lot the night they met, “stealing kisses throughout the night”, exchanged numbers, planned a date (no specifics, just the day) but when Ali texted him day of he asked to reschedule (no specifics again), he replied back that he’s picking up a rental car, told him she’s looking for someone to respect her time and he never replied back

2023

The Falcon
First date of 2023, matched on The League, first nickname was “League Kirk”, hard to talk to, felt like Ali was always reaching for the next topic, likes to travel, “there wasn’t a vibe”, MOO
The Roommate
Used to be her friend’s roommate and have met before (Ali doesn’t remember but it was the day after that exclusive convo with The Rower), “totally cute”, reunited at their mutual friend’s engagement party January 2023, made out at the bar, comes back to her place and sleeps over (no sex), Ali questions why her friends never set them up and its because he was taking a break from dating, first date they made out a lot at the bar (again), “I really felt like we were already a couple”, “It didn’t feel like a first date”, mentions her FMH content has popped up on his FYP, tried texting him after their date and he wasn’t giving effort, she’s glad she didn’t sleep with him because “one night stands aren’t my thing”, MOO
The Belgian
Matched on Bumble, accidentally had their first date during a trivia night at a bar, easy to talk to
The Viking
Ali forgot they had a first date on the day of said date
Tinder Man
Matched on Tinder (duh) on Valentine’s Day, first Tinder date in three years, good convo on first date but got a pushy vibe from him at the second bar they went to, put his hand up her sweater and was kissing her in the bar, made Ali uncomfortable and she told him that after her asked her on a second date
The Historian
Matched on Bumble, good conversation on the first date with a wide range of topics like “urban planning and its impact on feminism”, he’s in grad school
The Georgian
Matched on Hinge, he asked if she was free on Friday and she said yes but didn’t hear back from him in two days and in that time she made plans for Friday, rescheduled for a Saturday afternoon date at a dive bar, ate on her way to her date “it would be next level rude to eat on the subway”, good first date, talked about places he wants to take her to
The Publicist
Matched on Tinder, lives in BK, Jewish, one year younger then Ali, good first date, invited him to the Chaotic Singles Party that night, came over to Ali's apartment (which Ali said was messy) before and he made her favorite cocktail for her, a couple of listeners met him at the CSP, goofy and silly convo mixed with deep and serious convos, second date was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and a tasting menu dinner, he made a Resy reservation and Ali got an email saying she was added to it ”fuck receiving gifts, THAT’S my love language”, he's into words like Ali, he sneezed and Ali said "God bless you" but then corrected herself and said "gesundheit" and he leaned over and kissed her and said he loves that she cares about her words, he met her friends on the third date ”It felt so easy. It felt so comfortable”, her friends took “sneaky” picture and videos of them together which Ali said she loves a sneaky pic, took all their date recap videos on his phone, cooked Ali steak on their fourth date, "it's very comfortable", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, Ali met two of his friends and some of his teammates he plays a rec sport with, had sex the day they took a trip outside of the city, Erica met him before their trip to Greece and I said “he’s dorky in a good way”, WhatsApp video chatted while in Greece and told her “see you in two days!” at the end of their call, said she felt less anxious about him compared to other relationships while on vacation, sent him a birthday present while she was in Greece, felt an energy shift coming back from vacation and didn’t hear back from him 3 days after she came home, Ali requested a call to talk about this distances she was feeling, ”I did the 12 date rule and it didn’t work!”, she said the distance help her see that they’re not compatible, went on a total of 9 dates. Ali talks about the “break up” on episode 123
Mr. Chaotic
Matched on Tinder but he saw Ali at the Chaotic Singles Party and Cassidy the host is there mutual friend, went to a brewery and played games on their first date (Ali said this was her favorite first dates in episode 147 where they recapped 2023), works in entertainment industry, very high energy, knows about FMH and he said she's entertaining to watch, splits his time between NYC and some unknown city, texted while she was in Greece, ”The man gives good texts”
Random Matchmaker Match
Withdrew his match to Ali because he found her FMH socials. Talked about on #71 AUA
Gone with the Wind
Matchmaker match, said some gross things about women in volleyball outfits on their first date, Ali told her matchmaker about this, ”I would describe him as misogynistic overall”, Ali was glad he did say those weird things so early on so she didn’t waste her time, the matchmaker flagged his account. This was around June 2023
The Rock
Ali knows him from an activity that they used to be involved with in the city (she's very vague about what this is) from 8 years ago, he had a very serious/long term GF when they met, follows her personal Insta, has never talked about him because he’s never been a “prospect”, summer 2023 they met up to catch up and found out that he’s now recently single but he’s moving out of NYC for work, Ali texts Cindy saying she thinks this is a date, Cindy said to tell him that you really want to kiss him, he ends up telling Ali “I really want to kiss you”, made out at the bar, Ali invited him back to her apartment and they had sex the night before Ali ended things with The Publicist, “one night stand vibes” but she said she was down to do it again, Patreon only and talked about on #75 AUA
The Tourist
Matched on Hinge, just moved to Brooklynn, went to a brewery in BK for their first date, Ali showed up to the date dripping in sweat, allergic to cats, he sent Ali a ‘no ghosting’ text the next morning
The Stout
Matched on Bumble, ”we had really great banter right away”, laughed the whole time on their first date, talked about going on a second date during their first date
Speed Racer
Matched on Bumble, drinks first date, axe throwing second date, made out after their second date, MOO, randomly texted Ali ~6 months later because he said one of Ali’s date recap videos about him popped up on his FYP (Ali and Erica think this is a lie), he thought Ali wasn’t into him, he claims he was doing all the work with texting even though there was only a few messages since they exchanged numbers after their second date
Billy Joel
Recently sober, Ali said she felt like they had several inside jokes before they met in person, ate pizza on her way to their first date, second date was getting coffee and going to the museum, they cooked dinner together for their third date at Ali’s apartment and they watched 90 Day Fiancé (he didn’t like it), he Googled how to clean a red wine stain when it spilled on her countertop, he asked if she wanted to have sex and she turned it down, the next day/the day before a 7am flight Ali booty called him and they had sex, she was drunk and said the sex wasn’t good/they stopped mid way, helped Ali pack for her flight, Ali said he’s at a crossroad and he doesn’t seem like a long term fit, Erica found a condom on the ground while cat sitting, Ali said she didn’t regret hooking up with him but wishes she hadn’t done it, MOO
Sales Cycle
30 seconds in and Ali said he was very boring, only really talked about his job, stared at Ali’s boobs, “might be a MOO”, texted her ‘merry christmas’

2024

Pie Guy/Dr. Laundry
Matched on The League, 34 years old, requested a nickname change from Pie Guy to Dr. Laundry, he had to cancel their second date because he got hit by a car, went on two dates, Ali sent him a pic of his subway stop saying something along the lines of “the stop isn’t looking as cute today” and turns out someone he dated with in that photo, were supposed to go on a third date the night she got back from a bachelorette party but he didn't answer her text when she said she landed, the next day he asked her how her trip was not acknowledging her previous text at all, Ali expressed her disappointment and he replied that he was tired last night, she said she would've been understanding if he said something then ghosted her
Andddd I stopped listening to the podcast around the Dr. Pie Laundry Guy but have stayed up to date with everything via this sub.
I have a huge interest in dating culture, human behavior and data similar to Ali and this little project of mine was really interesting once I got the framework of this list. I started this list once I found this sub in December 2023 and started re listening to the Patreon while working out (and lost 10 lbs ayeee) and writing down information in my notes app. I did my best to keep this list unbiased and just give facts and information that was said.
My own thoughts after making this list is that I'm very sad for Ali. I didn't realize the extent of her dating history. I think about my own dating history or even my friends who are in their 30's and dating and Ali's dating lore runs so deep. Is Ali unlucky with love? Did she pass on someone that could have been great for her? How has she had so many dates with little success in a long term partner or even going beyond 6-8 dates? Or is Skyline the person she has been waiting for? What's the pattern with all this dates/men? So many questions.
I truly do hope Ali finds her guy because I believe theres someone for everyone. Until then, I'll be hopping into this sub (cause y'all are too funny and give the best advice) and waiting for Ali to find Mr. Height.
Enjoy and I look forward to everyone thoughts! I'll keep my eye out for any edits that need to be made.
Bonus quotes:
“Longest relationship was a little under a year and a half. Haven’t made it past 6 months with anyone else” - AUA #7 11/27/21
“I spent the first 10+ years of my dating life being sort of perennially single” -1. The Actual First One episode 2/21/21
"I think my parent's story is the reason why I think that I can romantically get back together with an ex and it'll work out" -The Dave Glaser Podcast 4/5/21
“Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, with a couple of exceptions, started as a situationship.” -21. The Undefined One 7/11/21
“All of my boyfriends have been white” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“You definitely need an older guy” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“I’ve been on the dating apps since high school. Dating websites at the time” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Who would be the perfect man for Ali?”
“Clearly a combination of the The Dentist and [the early stages of] The Buffalo” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Do you consider The Rower or Disco ball to have been situationships?”
“No, I don't consider either The Rower or The Disco Ball to be situationships” -question asked on TikTok 11/9/22

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mhfg7Ty1bEQ

Learning of the Chinese language is falling in the West, but appears to be picking up in Southeast Asia and the Middle East.

Some of the factors the reporters touch upon that could be contributing to this decline in interest in learning Mandarin Chinese include the rise of AI, the resultant decline in value of Mandarin knowledge in the business world, and souring political and economic relations between China and Western countries.
They even mentioned that young people were becoming afraid that knowledge of the Chinese language would make them more prone to accusations of being politically pro-China or communist spies. Which is quite ridiculous IMO; Mandarin Chinese is the most widely spoken language in Taiwan and Singapore too.
At least the same trend doesn't appear to be happening in other countries, and the video even discussed countries like Saudi Arabia and the UAE that have made Mandarin a compulsory subject in high school - countries that have had almost no direct cultural connection with or influence from the Sinosphere, that nevertheless understand the value of learning Chinese.
How does all this make you feel? And why do you think is happening? The Sinophobia arguments make little sense once you consider that the CIA always seems to be looking for fluent Arabic speakers. In addition to the reasons mentioned in the video, some people in the comments are wondering if it's because Chinese is so difficult compared to other popular foreign languages like Spanish.
Do you think that the decline in Mandarin course enrollment reflects a genuine loss of interest in learning Mandarin as a second language, or is it simply a statistical artifact from people preferring to self-study instead? Unfortunately I feel like the Sinophobia issue is very real, and not getting better anytime soon. Exhibit A: the U.S. federal government passing a bill banning / forcing a sale of TikTok, and granting them the power to easily do so with any other website perceived to be a "threat to national security".
If you plan on having children, do you intend to teach them your heritage language and/or Mandarin? (If you already have children, do you?)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mhfg7Ty1bEQ

Learning of the Chinese language is falling in the West, but appears to be picking up in Southeast Asia and the Middle East.

Some of the factors the reporters touch upon that could be contributing to this decline in interest in learning Mandarin Chinese include the rise of AI, the resultant decline in value of Mandarin knowledge in the business world, and souring political and economic relations between China and Western countries.
They even mentioned that young people were becoming afraid that knowledge of the Chinese language would make them more prone to accusations of being politically pro-China or communist spies. Which is quite ridiculous IMO; Mandarin Chinese is the most widely spoken language in Taiwan and Singapore too.
At least the same trend doesn't appear to be happening in other countries, and the video even discussed countries like Saudi Arabia and the UAE that have made Mandarin a compulsory subject in high school - countries that have had almost no direct cultural connection with or influence from the Sinosphere, that nevertheless understand the value of learning Chinese.
How does all this make you feel? And why do you think is happening? The Sinophobia arguments make little sense once you consider that the CIA always seems to be looking for fluent Arabic speakers. In addition to the reasons mentioned in the video, some people in the comments are wondering if it's because Chinese is so difficult compared to other popular foreign languages like Spanish.
Do you think that the decline in Mandarin course enrollment reflects a genuine loss of interest in learning Mandarin as a second language, or is it simply a statistical artifact from people preferring to self-study instead? Unfortunately I feel like the Sinophobia issue is very real, and not getting better anytime soon. Exhibit A: the U.S. federal government passing a bill banning / forcing a sale of TikTok, and granting them the power to easily do so with any other website perceived to be a "threat to national security".
If you plan on having children, do you intend to teach them your heritage language and/or Mandarin? (If you already have children, do you?)

To anyone who wants to do north vs south, fuck off. Cultural supremacist/racist are not welcome here.
I'll start off by saying this- it's not a question about if you and I want our taxes to go to uttar pradesh and bihar, it's an expectation. It was mandatory the day this country was born, for the richer regions to help the poorer ones, that is the entire point of a nation state. By god we'll help other Indians.
The problem for us lies in the checks and balances which are currently not checking or balancing. We pool money and hand it out to the states and centre and the balance between each of the states is determined by the finance commission, they are smarter than us by all metrics and have pretty good equations and weights to determine a fair share. But the problems lie where the responsibility of the finance commission ends, they don't determine better or advanced policy that might look at other factors like competitive federalism, it's literally not their job. It leaves us not helping the people of bihar but subsidizing bad governments.
Imagine this, your governments have worked hard on good policies that have improved the lives of many(MH: Midc, kerala: social spending, Tamil nadu: capital spending) BUT for all this extra revenue you bought for the country you get punished by the centre which decreases your alloted share of it. Also fuck you- you don't get a say in it(2026 delimitation)
Quick history: it was argued by many in the constituent assembly that states shall always be weaker than the central government because the past has seen many great empires collapse due to regional autonomy. I believe they were short sighted in their approach to look at the medieval age while building a modern state.
You get an overbearing central govt that's slow to respond to both regional challenges and opportunities. Whose decisions on development projects are always criticized no matter what due to limited funds and having to ignore some regions for the betterment of all. Whose monetary and fiscal polices must hyperfixate on a precarious balance between the vast and diverse conditions across the country.
I wish the states be more responsible for it's own people while the national government can actually focus on improving places like the east, bihar, Chattisgarh etc. I wish we had more of a say in the resources we provide and get back through an opaque body.
The fears of the southern states on things like it's revenue are completely justified as the NITI aayog ceo admitted that modi asked the commission to reduce the state share of taxes while he lied in parliament about being happy with the commission.
Although we don't identify with the Dravidians, it's pretty evident that we have our own sub culture. I think there's a political party which was formed to remove foreign imposition but I'm unsure lol.
Hindi imposition is real and I like the fact that nationalist try and gaslight us into believing we're all the same and always have been, that our roots are non existent, that we should stop pretending to be like Dravidians and accept national homogeneity.

Hail, fellow Helldivers!
I’m a game dev with over 20 years experience, half of that on live service games or MMOs, all of it on core combat for action games, on game teams ranging from 10 people to over 600.
I play a ton of hard co-op action games, and I was a huge fan of Helldivers 1. I’m honestly in awe of how good Helldivers 2 is, even after the hundreds of hours I’ve put into it, and how they’ve sustained the pace of updates for so long after launch.
Yes, this is a throwaway Reddit account, I wanted to share some of my thoughts without inviting death threats.
Development
This game must have been in development since shortly after Arrowhead’s last released game, Helldivers 1 (plus whatever DLC and maintenance), so, 8 years give or take (I sent Pilestedt a congratulatory email, but presumably he’s drowning in them, haha).
I ran into the devs at GDC 2019, shared a few drinks and we talked shop about our similar games. They were super cagey but very excited about what they were working on, even moreso when they found out I was a huge fan of HD1. They were clearly already deep in development of HD2 at that point.
This has been discussed elsewhere, but it adds to how impressive this game is: this is the same engine (Autodesk Stingray) as Helldivers 1, a top-down game with 2D gameplay and much lower visual fidelity. Stingray is no longer supported by Autodesk as of sometime after 2018, so most of the features HD2 required would have been built in-house by Arrowhead. To my knowledge there’s only one other studio actively using the engine, and that’s Fat Shark, the developers of (most recently) Warhammer 40,000: Darktide.
The AH team has grown massively in size over the past 8 years. I don’t have the exact numbers, but it’s a 5x to 10x increase in size. Scaling up that fast and not ruining your company culture is super hard, and you can see plenty of other studios that have tried to grow so they can build bigger games and have fallen apart doing it.
Helldivers 2 easily has a AAA level of polish. I’ve gone back to HD1 recently, which at the time looked and played super well, and the improvements are night and day. HD2’s production values compare favorably to any random AAA game released in the last few years
Weapons
Building first or third person weapons to this level of quality is extremely expensive. A unique gun for a AAA first person shooter might take 4-6 weeks of artist time and the same (or more) of designer time to set up and tune the gameplay. For any completely new type of weapon, factor in around 6 months of animator time, and a few weeks for a variant that has a different reload animation or similar. E.g. all rifle-sized shotguns might use the same base shotgun animation set, but the continuous reload shotguns would have a different reload animation than the Breaker family. Then you need VFX and audio too.
Vehicles are even moreso, taking months for each, more if they can seat multiple players or have points that contact the ground (e.g. wheels).
Environments
Building environments that look this good is expensive even if you know what you want, having built a prototype version, you then have to iterate on it while you refine the gameplay and then build the final art. Building environments that look this good and are procedurally generated in as freeform a way as in HD2 is mind-boggling. Let alone doing that in a way that runs fast enough. Sure once it’s all up and running you have a ton of variety for relatively cheap, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen the proc gen create a serious gameplay problem, and that indicates very clever design and thorough testing.
AI
AI that works as well as this is expensive to build, and typically computationally expensive at runtime too. In games like Call of Duty or whatever, you have a static environment, with maybe 10-20 active AI at a time, prebuilt navmesh (which is a hand-drawn or generated map that allows AI to move around the environment without having to calculate valid geometry constantly at runtime), and level or encounter designers have hand scripted a lot of what looks like emergent AI behavior. HD2 can’t do any of that; there can be hundreds of enemies active at once, the environments are procedurally generated, AND terrain can be deformed, buildings can be destroyed etc. The AI can’t be scripted to the same degree as on a static map, probably the devs have hints that are procedurally added to the world and not much more. It helps that all of the enemies we’ve seen so far are the “implacably advancing” kind, typically they don’t have any complex behaviors, and instead the design of the character themselves and their attacks carries the gameplay. Smart design. The Illuminate in HD1 were much sneakier, it’ll be interesting to see how that faction translates to a full 3D game with a lot more enemies active at once.
UI
This game has a lot of quality of life features that it’s easy to take for granted, but are hard to build, and hard to retrofit to an existing game, for example:
· A zoomable, pingable minimap (IMO this is a best-in-class minimap implementation)
· A ping system
· Battlepass implementation allowing for not expiring old battle passes.
And all of this is UI-heavy, where UI is one of the most expensive things to make in AAA games. Every project I’ve shipped, UI has been a bottleneck. It doesn’t help that every company basically builds a UI system from scratch, since engines rarely have something shippable built in, and Scaleform (the most prominent UI middleware) went away. And then it takes a ton of iteration to get to a point where a feature is powerful and intuitive to players.
Gamefeel
If you play much of the most highly-regarded AAA shooters, you might not like the feel of some of the weapons in Helldivers 2 by comparison. They often feel slow to use, hard to aim, and punishing of misses, bad timing or bad positioning. Some of this is a polish thing and probably isn’t intended, e.g. scopes that look janky in first person, misaligned reticles and similar stuff. Most of it though looks deliberate, and supports the gameplay they’re laser-focused on building. The weapons are largely useful in very specific situations, and are not power fantasy moments for the player. There are serious tradeoffs, including “if I’m caught by a melee enemy with a Recoilless Rifle out, I’m in trouble”, the most powerful support weapons preventing you from bringing a shield, the snappiest weapons typically only being useful against weak enemies, etc. Most mass-market shooters sacrifice this extreme level of tradeoff in service of making the game feel better to play, and can lack gameplay variety as a result.
Given all of the above, most of the content that Arrowhead has released post ship must have been built alongside the rest of the game. It’s unlikely that they’re able to turn around 3 new weapons, new giant enemies, new mission types etc every month for several months in a row building them from scratch since ship. And yet, the game at launch still felt complete. This is a hard balance to strike. I wonder how much near-shippable content they have in their war-chest, and whether they’ll be able to generate more quickly enough to satisfy the appetite of the community on an ongoing basis.
Balance
Typically on a live game, the same designers build gameplay, ship it, and then balance it in patches post-ship. Sometimes a studio will have a separate “live team”, either dedicated, or rotating members of the dev team through it, but this isn’t common and it doesn’t look like Arrowhead splits the team up like this.
In any case, players always ask why developers ever nerf anything, and it’s for three reasons:
· Typically only a small number of things (weapons, abilities, heroes) are dominant, and a very large number are OK or weak in the current meta – buffing everything else would be extremely expensive, and since it’s the same people doing this work and building new content, it’d reduce the amount of new content the team could make. So it’s much more efficient to tamp down the overpowered things as a priority, and buff some other options at the same time.
· “No nerf, only buff” results in player power creep over time, which makes the game easier, and eventually will require a correction either in the form of a large scale nerf pass or buffs to enemies – both of these are bad: players hate widespread nerfs, and buffing enemies can put the game in a degenerate state where lethality is skewed, or only the best players can compete because they have all the best gear, or you end up in an arms race between player design and enemy design as both teams try to react to player feedback or overall game difficulty.
· Having a small number of overpowered things is much more destructive to a varied meta than a small number of weak things. Say you have 100 abilities and 3 of them are overpowered. Well, now everyone’s only using 3% of the possible content. Say you have 100 abilities and 3 of them are too weak.The other 97% is viable. Overly simplistic, clearly there’s a gradient, but you get the idea.
BTW the pace at which Arrowhead has updated balance is extremely fast for a large PvE game. Some small PvP-only games can react this quickly to a developing meta, but on large-scale games it takes weeks or months of testing and platform certification to ship balance updates on consoles. And “hotfixes”, i.e. very quick responses to critical issues, have a high level of scrutiny on them, i.e. lots of justifiable red tape, and often require crunch.
Community Interaction
It’s extremely rare for developers from large studios at any level to talk directly to the community, mostly because the gaming community burned those bridges long ago, by doxing devs they don’t agree with, sending them death threats, or just generally abusing them publicly and anonymously. No way in hell would I be public facing, and no one at any studio should be required to unless it’s explicitly part of their job. And even then, I feel for community managers. Direct communication from devs is a precious thing, and not one that should be taken for granted or used as an avenue for abuse.
*Salutes* to Arrowhead
Huge, huge kudos to Arrowhead. This game is an absolute triumph. To go from a small team making top-down games, to a medium-sized AAA team that shipped a game that catapulted right to the top of the most-played charts and game of the year lists and has stayed there is a massive accomplishment. I hope you’re all seeing a big payday from this success!

I've dealt with Pakistani designers mainly through their websites and one UK-based Indian store for wedding guest clothing. Not one was unproblematic. Diya Online, Emaan Adeel, Alizeh, AJR Couture & Mushq.
Unfinished details with fraying edges.Terrible stitching, bad measurements, lack of alignment. Dispatching weeks after the promised date or for one of them no sign of delivery at all several weeks after ordering. Loose embroidery. Lack of communication or vague responses.
I wonder if they do the same thing to local customers or only if you're ordering from abroad (and paying so much in shipping)?
I don't understand WHY they do this when they lose out on the opportunity of getting returning customers and building a strong reputation? Not to mention losing out on new customers because now I'm cautioning my friends and family (as anyone would) against buying from these brands...
Have I just been unlucky or is this quite common? I'm just quite bewildered why they find it acceptable to do this. And if there's cultural/business factors at play that I'm mot understanding?

I am in recovery from my ureteroscopy on a calyceal diverticulum, and while I found some journal articles and a few stray posts on here about them, I want to paint a bigger picture about my actual experience and what I felt.
This is a very long post because I wanted to err on the side of more information so that other may feel much less alone than I have felt. I have included subheadings so you can read only what is useful to you.
To start, I am a 31-year-old female with endometriosis (I explain the implications of that in one of my subsections.). I live in New York City and was operated on by a surgeon at Smith Institute for Urology at Lenox Hill Hospital, which specializes in “complex anatomy” and kidney stones.
TL;DR Calyceal diverticula are pockets on the kidneys affecting 0.5% of the population. Stones can form and get trapped due to their narrow opening (infundibulum). As a result, their pain pattern is different and diagnosis can be delayed. To resolve the problem, you will need a surgeon to remove stones and expand the opening and/or ablate the lining of the diverticulum via ureteroscopy or percutaneous nephrolithotomy.
What is a calyceal diverticulum?
For a good scientific review of what calyceal (kay-luh-SEE-uhl) diverticula are, there is a review study from 2014 with primary author Nikhil Waingankar. In short, these are pockets within the kidneys that have much narrower entry points (“infundibula”) than a normal calyx, and they are theorized to only occur in 0.5% of the human population, with an estimated 96% of those who have them forming stones inside them.
They are often found incidentally on imaging because many people remain asymptomatic. In my case, we saw “a cyst requiring further imaging to rule out neoplasm” (cancer) when I was having my appendectomy in 2022 and had a CT scan in the ER.
They will look like cysts until you either get a radiologist who knows what to look for and sees a stone inside, or until you do a CT urogram, which is a more involved CT scan where you can see if the urinary system communicates with the “cyst.” Simple cysts and neoplasms will not show urine entering the mass; a calyceal diverticulum will, because it has an entrance.
Important stipulation in my experience: endometriosis and its surgeries
My story is complicated by the fact that I have endometriosis, which is a disease wherein cells resembling uterine cells occur outside the uterus. This is an extraordinarily painful condition that causes widespread inflammation due to the uterus-like cells’ having “menstrual periods” outside the uterus. It that can occur anywhere in the body; while most people’s disease presents primarily in the ovaries, uterus, and Fallopian tubes, the disease has been found in every organ in the body. In my case, my disease was confirmed to be extrapelvic as soon as my appendix pathology report revealed that my appendix had endometriosis on it; the cells existed beyond the typical pelvic organs.
I have already had two laparoscopies for endometriosis, and while these were immensely helpful in restoring my quality of life, every abdominal surgery comes with the risk of adhesions. Adhesions are bands of tissue that the body forms when it experiences inflammation or trauma. Endometriosis forms adhesions by itself, and surgery to remove it risks further adhesions. In 2020, when I had my radical excision surgery, my surgeon had to perform ureterolysis to cut my ureters free: whether from previous surgery in 2016 or the disease, my ureters were stuck to my uterus due to adhesions.
I share this because having endometriosis and its surgeries in my history affected my path to diagnosis and probably my pain pattern. (Endometriosis forms its own nerve endings, too!) But for the record, the kidney stones and the kidney surgery in my case were more painful than endometriosis…probably because they freaked out any remaining endometriosis.
(Sorry for no source on this endometriosis information. I am unfortunately very well-read on the disease! If you want to learn more, I recommend The Center for Endometriosis Care website and the book Beating Endo.)
What did the calyceal diverticulum feel like at first?
On a Tuesday in January 2024, I was trialing prazosin, an alpha blocker related to Flomax (tamsulosin) due to PTSD nightmares.
One day after taking this drug, I woke up with 8/10 pain muscle spasms in my “iliac crest,” which is the top edge of my pelvis, on the right side. I thought I had “slept funny” and the pain subsided after about 3 hours. I tried to roll around on a lacrosse ball, thinking it was a muscle spasm.
I took the prazosin for two more days. By that Thursday, the pain lasted more like 6 hours and did not go away; I had the muscle spasms as well as a feeling that there was “trapped gas” right at my waist, right on the side of my body. Because the pain stayed at 8/10, nothing would calm it down, and I couldn’t focus on work, I went to the ER. We did a CT scan and saw nothing different from my last CT for my appendectomy. They decided it was probably a kidney infection with strange presentation due to my endometriosis and sent me home with cefpodoxime, an antibiotic.
I finished the course of the antibiotic over 7 days and felt better.
But then the “trapped gas” feeling returned and lasted 18 hours. I went back to the ER, mostly concerned that I had failed antibiotics and the “infection” was getting worse. I made a urologist appointment while I was waiting in the ER because I suspected this might be beyond their mandate of ruling out anything life-threatening. We did another CT, and this time I really carefully read the results: inside what we had identified as a calyceal diverticulum in 2022 during my appendectomy CT scan were two kidney stones, each about 0.2mm. Because there was not much change from my last ER visit, the doctor at the ER did not think this explained how I was feeling. He did not want to send me home with antibiotics because he thought his colleagues were too cavalier with testing, but he did send for a urine culture and sent me home at least assured there was no emergency.
The culture came back, and I did test positive for E. Faecalis, which is a rarer bacteria to have, so the doctor at the ER urged me to get on Levaquin, an antibiotic, as soon as possible. (My endourologist later theorized this bacterium was an incidental finding; he thinks I just happened to be colonized with it and it was not causing symptoms. Regardless, it was not present in my culture before surgery.)
Again, I took almost the full course of the antibiotic and was feeling better and safer. I also saw a urologist, and she was skeptical it was an infection but told me to continue the course. She was pretty sure it was endometriosis-related but saw that I had seen my gynecologist, who has been treating me for 5 years, days prior who was pretty sure this was NOT consistent with what she had seen when we operated in 2020. The urologist said she felt this might be beyond her skills and referred me to one of her medical school colleagues who is a specialist in “complex anatomy” like calyceal diverticula as an endourologist professor at Lenox Hill in NYC.
But before I could see the endourologist, only one week after my last ER visit, I was in 9/10 pain for 7 hours overnight. I really did not want to go to the ER again, but I was vomiting, sweating, using the bathroom (both ways) constantly. After 7 hours not being able to get it to calm down, I went back to the ER.
The first thing they did was test me for sepsis, because I was being treated for an infection. They also did a CT scan again and then we saw it: one of the kidney stones had left the calyceal diverticulum and was stuck in the ureterovesicular junction (“UVJ”). By the time I was diagnosed, I was in 9/10 pain for 18 hours, so what we now know to be the renal colic phase lasted for 18 hours. They admitted me overnight to the hospital to observe and had me on ketorolac (Toradol) and oxycodone/acetaminophen (Percocet) every 6 hours alternating. The pain subsided the next morning.
Confirmation and surgery
Luckily, I had the endourologist appointment on the books already, and I got all of my images from the ER to bring to this doctor, letting him know I was confirmed to have passed the stone.
What he was able to do for me I will never forget: he showed me exactly why I was in enough pain for the ER each of the three weeks I went. Unlike a normal stone situation, a stone in a calyceal diverticulum has far more opportunities to get stuck. Also unlike a normal stone, you can feel the stone passing before it reaches the ureter because it has to leave via the narrow opening of the diverticulum. This means the pain can feel different and, due to its location within the kidney is more prone to being referred pain (pain you feel in a place other than where it originates). This is why I did not feel the pain in the classic place and why it felt much more like trapped gas. Furthermore, most radiologists do not have the same training as he did to identify where in the opening the stone was, which explained why they believed the stone was in the same place each time.
We wanted to take a “wait and see” approach on the second stone, but my body did not want to wait. As I was falling asleep one night in early March 2024, I felt that familiar “trapped gas” feeling, way too far right to be my intestines. This is 6/10 pain, so I could go to work for an important meeting, but I called to get an ultrasound and appointment right away. (We have since found that for my specific diverticulum, ultrasounds are not useful. I will need a CT urogram any time we want to visualize the kidney post-op.)
My doctor said that he wanted to attempt ureteroscopy before percutaneous nephrolithotomy because it is a less-invasive modality and we were worried about impacting any endometriosis. He had me sign paperwork consenting to either method, and it was a “game time” decision based on what he saw with the camera.
In the two-and-half week wait til surgery, his hypothesis gained traction: I would have days “on” with the pain and “off,” suggesting the stone was able to enter the diverticular opening and then flow back into the diverticulum. When I was in pain this time, I would also feel a lot of fatigue and brain fog that made it hard to work. This could be consistent with a kidney blockage, but it is hard to say for sure with an area so small.
The surgery, the stent, and the pain after the stent
The surgery itself went pretty well and only lasted 1.5 hours. The surgeon let me know that it was not easy to get into the diverticulum because the opening was not straight, as expected. He was, however, able to complete the surgery with only ureteroscopy. He removed a 0.2mm stone and observed that the stone was exactly the width of the opening, meaning it could absolutely flow into and out of it and get stuck for days. He widened the opening with laser to be “wider than a normal calyx” to allow for scarring, and, at my request to avoid further operations, ablated as much of the lining of the diverticulum as he could, encouraging it to close up.
While the surgery was uneventful, I am one of the unlucky ones who cannot tolerate a stent. This is probably due to my endometriosis, which leaves me in a heightened baseline of inflammation and nerve arousal, as well as the fact that, for me, the stent had to go into the diverticulum, which had been lasered and burned, in order for it to heal. I spent four hours in the recovery room while we tried to get my pain down to my goal of 7, which meant we needed to dose me, as we did in the ER, with ketorolac (Toradol) and oxycodone every 6 hours with no gaps in between.
I only had the stent in for 3 full days, and unfortunately, due to my specific circumstances, that was the worst pain I have ever been in. I was agnostic about 10/10 pain until this time, in which I felt like I was passing a stone and experiencing my worst endometriosis cramps at the same time. I was in 8-10/10 pain despite the painkiller regimen, and since we found that dilaudid does not work for me, this was good as they could do for me.
Thankfully, my surgeon listened to my experience and agreed to take the stent out as soon as was responsible: 72 hours later. The actual removal was uncomfortable but not painful beyond a “scrape” sensation in the urethra, and as soon as it was out, my husband noticed I could move as normal and was talking more like myself.
However, 1 out of 4 people will experience pain after the stent is removed, and risk factors include female anatomy, being “younger” (I am 31.) and having a stent in for less than or equal to 7 days.
The day of the removal I had some muscle spasms but was mostly so relieved that I slept all day.
34 hours after the removal, I experienced a feeling like I was passing a kidney stone. I was in 9/10 pain for 6 hours, feeling like I needed to move my bowels (which was not easy after opioids!) and having unrelenting spasms above my right iliac crest (top of pelvis). I was on ketorolac (Toradol) during this and knew what it was, but I otherwise may have gone back to the ER. I refused to take more opioids because my bowel was upset as well.
Today, I have had one episode of the iliac crest muscle spasms lasting an hour. I have found that crouching on the floor, against a wall, and/or going into “reclined butterfly pose” may help. It may just make me feel like I have more control over the situation.
I will update this post if I feel more pain in the coming days.
What’s next?
My endourologist/surgeon thinks it is very unlikely that I am “a stone-former” because the stones were only in the diverticulum and likely formed due to the urine reflux of that structure.
We will follow up in 3 weeks to see if the sensation I felt in March of the “trapped gas” recurs. If it does, only then would we do a CT urogram to see if the diverticular opening closer up to anywhere near its former width of 0.2mm.
This is unlikely because the surgeon lasered the opening very wide, “wider than a normal calyx,” to allow for scarring to take place. The ablation of the lining of the diverticulum should also take care of its tendency to collect urine.
I am not expected to have further stones or need for surgery, but he has seen cases of recurrence, so we need to manage my expectations.
Despite the extreme pain of the stent, I am content with my decision and hope that I do not have to go through this again. The one blessing in my case is, if this surgery succeeds, I should not have any further kidney stones.

Presumably in most cases, protestors know the military has overwhelming firepower in their hands. What factors influence if this reaction successfully quells protests, riots, and uprisings?
I’ve often wondered this and what the effects are from it after reading of cases where firing on demonstrators caused the demonstrators to become emboldened. However I can’t comprehend what factors must be at play for some to succeed and others to fail. Is it outside pressure? Cultural values? Internal pressures? Morality? The cause being fought for? The brutality of the repression? The confidence of victory? Those are just a few I can brainstorm.
While it’s likely a combination of factors: are there any that seem to be consistent across the board?
Ancillary Note: I’ve read of Preference Falsification and how this became a discussion in the 2000s, but I’m more asking what causes the public to act on it in the face of certain short-term defeat

I want to begin by saying that I recognize that I am extremely lucky to have the opportunity and freedom to make this decision. Definitely don't want to come off as boastful and am genuinely looking for advice.
I applied to Western's National Scholarship program and ended up receiving the 70k President's Entrance Scholarship (1 of 1) as well as Scholar's Electives. I also received an offer to Mac Health Sci last week. I know a huge part of this decision comes down to my future goals which so far have been getting into medical school and pursuing medicine.
I know that Mac Health Sci is notoriously a "feeder" program with its high matriculate rate into med, but I was wondering if the program itself still outweighs the opportunities that Western is providing. I've included my thoughts about each program below:
Mac Health Sci

• "Easier" program with lots of elective space (yay) that better sets you up to obtain a high GPA
• More time to devote to ECs, research, hobbies, and general work-life balance
• Smaller class sizes along with more faculty support
• I've heard the environment is less toxic and people are generally more supportive in Health Sci despite the premed culture
• Inquiry and PBL with emphasis on group work
  • The learning style is definitely new to me and I'm a little concerned if I'll truly enjoy it since I've heard from a mix of people who love it, learn to love it, or absolutely despise it
  • I'm very comfortable with the traditional learning style since it's what I'm used to (lectures and exams) but am willing to adapt to this new learning style, especially if it means that I get to grow as a person through group work and the program's focus on assignments over exams (although, I will say my stance on group work is pretty neutral and my experiences in high school do not help that lol)
  • The ability to guide my own learning through inquiry sounds really cool
• Given the program's heritage, many resources available and support from upper years on med applications
• Writing reflections and courses where the final is an interview with a facilitator seem like good practice for med interviews and becoming a better writer

Western Med Sci

• 70k is a LOT, but I will say that financially, I am in a position where the money is nice but I am by no means drowning myself in debt if I reject it
• A high GPA is achievable, but will require much more work and dedication, possibly taking away time that could be spent on ECs and other things
• Is a weeder program that forces you to take certain courses that are known to tank GPAs such as Stats and Applied Math, and I think this also cultivates an environment where people see each other as competition and are much less willing to help each other out
• I am genuinely interested in the hard sciences and modules offered, but they seem to be more geared towards preparing you for grad school or alternative professions
• Better preparation for the MCAT (the depth that some courses go is probably overkill)
• The opportunity to start doing research with a prof in 2nd year through the Scholar's Electives program (will be overloading by 0.5 credits in 1st and 4th year though, and I'm not yet sure if research is something I enjoy)
• First-choice residence in 1st year (this is a small thing) and guaranteed on-campus housing in upper years

I've visited both campuses and liked the feel at both so that isn't too much of a factor for me. The opportunities in London vs. Hamilton also seem pretty comparable. Health Sci sounds amazing and the only thing that really concerns me is the untraditional learning style and if I am one of the few it doesn't click for. I do not want the next 4 years of my life to always be nose to the grindstone and the balance seems significantly better at Mac than Western, but I also recognize that Mac is not a guaranteed ticket to med school and it truly depends on the person, not the program.
If anyone could provide their two cents, I would greatly appreciate it :)

https://www.healthrising.org/blog/2024/05/18/chronic-fatigue-syndrome-long-covid-energy-sink/
TLDR by Claude.ai
In summary, the preprint study by Shankar et al. found that immune cells from ME/CFS and Long COVID patients exhibit reduced energy production, elevated oxidative stress levels, and mitochondrial dysfunction compared to healthy controls. These findings were particularly pronounced in female ME/CFS patients. The authors propose that the immune system's struggle to produce energy in these conditions may lead to an energy drain on the rest of the body, potentially explaining the fatigue and other symptoms experienced by patients. They also suggest that reducing oxidative stress using antioxidants might help regulate the immune system activation and improve energy levels.
The gist, copied from the blog
• Health Rising reported some time ago becoming obsessed with the energy problems found in ME/CFS. Vishnu Shankar, a PhD. Stanford student, engineered a study that assessed energy production in ME/CFS patients’ immune cells. The study recently appeared in preprint form and includes some new findings – so it’s onto round 2 of this fascinating study.
• Shankar focused on immune cells because they provide a good test case for assessing energy production. It turns out that protecting the body from pathogens turns is quite an energy-intensive project. Even when it’s not fighting off an infection, the immune system uses about 15-20% of our energy.
• The study assessed both mitochondrial activity and oxidative stress in immune cells (PBMCs) in ME/CFS patients, long-COVID patients, and healthy controls.
• The immune cells in the ME/CFS/long-COVID patients weren’t pumping out as much energy as the healthy controls’ cells – suggesting they were damaged and possibly exhausted.
• Because damaged mitochondria can become free radical-producing machines, they took a look at oxidative stress (free radical) levels. (Just as a damaged automobile engine produces more exhaust than a well-functioning one, damaged mitochondria spew out more toxins; i.e. free radicals.)
• Immune cells have to switch their after-burners on to get the energy to go after pathogens. Producing that energy comes at a cost, though, in the form of increased levels of reactive oxygen species oxidative stress (free radicals). (Note the key word – reactive oxygen species – these are unbalanced oxygen molecules which try to achieve balance by ripping electrons from other molecules; hence the word “reactive”.)
• Dramatically higher levels of reactive oxygen species were found in both the ME/CFS and long-COVID patients’ immune cells compared to the healthy controls. (ME/CFS patients had the highest levels). A closer look revealed, however, that the reactive oxygen species were almost wholly centered in the immune cells from female ME/CFS patients.
• Both male ME/CFS and long-COVID patients did, however, exhibit elevated glutathione levels – indicating that their immune cells were also dealing with increased oxidative stress levels – which have triggered the production of the master antioxidant in our cells – glutathione.
• Altogether, multiple pathways that deal with oxidative stress (glutathione, superoxide dismutase, lipid oxidative damage, etc.) appear to have been overwhelmed in the immune cells in both ME/CFS and long-COVID patients. In all cases, the ME/CFS patients were worse off than the long-COVID patients – leading the authors to suggest that long COVID was an intermediate condition between health and ME/CFS.
• Increased levels of mitochondrial calcium – which drive the production of reactive oxygen species (ROS) in the mitochondria – provided another potential explanation for the increased levels of oxidative stress. That was a very interesting finding given that in 2021 Wirth and Scheibenbogen proposed that increased mitochondrial levels of calcium were a core factor in ME/CFS.
• Once again, damage to the lipids that protect our cells and the organelles in our cells popped out during a metabolomic analysis (of T-cells). Since reactive oxygen species target lipids this finding make sense and it underscored what big deal lipid issues have become in ME/CFS studies over the past few years.
• Once again, men and women had different findings. Oxidative stress was worse in women while lipid damage was more extensive in men. Plus, the study suggested that when confronted with high oxidative stress levels, women’s T-cells go on a hyper proliferation binge – potentially sucking more energy from the rest of the body.
• Trying to reduce the oxidative stress present, they used antioxidants like NAC (increase glutathione), metformin (increase SOD2 expression), and liproxstatin-1 (reduce lipid peroxide levels) in cell cultures and found that NAC and metformin was able to reduce immune activity to some extent. That finding suggested that the right antioxidants might be able to tame the immune activity and improve energy levels.
• All in all, the authors proposed that long periods of elevated reactive oxygen species damage the mitochondria, producing a long-term problem of energy depletion. Because the immune cells already use up so much energy in the body, and then struggle to produce energy in ME/CFS and long COVID, the authors proposed that immune problems in these diseases produce an energy sink that draws energy from other areas of the body.

Gross Domestic Product (GDP) has been the standard measure of economic growth since World War II. It is widely believed that accelerating economic growth as measured by the GDP will translate into improved living standards. However, this view is being challenged with the argument that it is better to focus on measures of wellbeing than GDP because, despite robust economic growth over the past several decades, there are still millions of citizens living in poverty.Gross Domestic Product (GDP) has been the standard measure of economic growth since World War II. It is widely believed that accelerating economic growth as measured by the GDP will translate into improved living standards. However, this view is being challenged with the argument that it is better to focus on measures of wellbeing than GDP because, despite robust economic growth over the past several decades, there are still millions of citizens living in poverty.

Besides, GDP measures perpetual growth, which is unattainable. Because GDP is an outdated proxy measure of economic growth, wellbeing, which is a multidimensional approach of measuring the most important aspects of people’s life, is gaining popularity.

Perpetual Growth

Stagflation is simultaneous economic stagnation combined with high inflation. In the long run, economic growth is dependent on two drivers; productivity and labor (Dolar). Productivity is affected by multiple factors. Improvements in many facets of productivity growth have decreased or reversed since the global financial crisis. The foremost factor is the demographic crisis of western countries that threatens the growth of GDP. Developed countries have experienced deceleration of working-age population, stabilization of educational attainment, and expansion into various forms of production. Furthermore, labor reallocation from less productive to more productive sectors has decelerated since the global financial crisis. Besides, radical disruptions to education and income losses are likely to affect human capital negatively. The waning demographics of western countries imply that acceleration of productivity growth is needed. The McKinsey Global Institute projected that 80% productivity growth is required to mitigate the effects of changing demographics (49). This projection is unlikely to be achieved given the dwindling working-age population in western countries. On the contrary, productivity growth is likely to continue decreasing because of the significant changes in the demographics unless the working-age population begins to grow again.

Perpetual Growth

GDP as a measurement is very outdated because it does not measure wellbeing. It is a statistical tool used to measure how well the economy is performing. However, it neglects important factors that determine the wellbeing, such as inequality and environmental services (Gallup). GDP as a proxy measure of economic growth ignores certain aspects that do not involve monetary transactions, does not assess changes in human capital, does not discriminate activities that enhance welfare from activities that reduce welfare, does not account for cultural difference, and omits the environmental costs and rates of depletion of resources (Giannetti et al. 14). The Measure of Economic Welfare is one of the alternatives for a gross domestic product as it measures consumption in the economy as a proxy for economic welfare. It adds up the benefits of goods and services consumption and subtracts the costs associated with the consumption, such as environmental pollution, providing a picture of economic welfare. Other economic welfare measures were developed after the Measure of Economic Welfare, such as the Index of the Economic Aspects of Welfare which incorporates environmental costs in estimating economic welfare (Giannetti et al. 15). Index of Sustainable Economic Welfare is an index developed to account for the current environmental issues while addressing the long-term ecosystem and natural resource sustainable use. More indices were developed with recent ones such as the State of Global Well-Being, the Better Life Index, and the Global Well-Being Index measuring a myriad of aspects of wellbeing. The Gallup Global Well-Being measures the behavioral economics of gross domestic product growth. It estimates the percentage “thriving,” “struggling,” and “suffering” of individuals in different countries and regions (Gallup). The indexes focus on the percent thriving in at least elements of wellbeing such as purpose (liking what they do), social (supportive relationships), physical (good health), community (liking the surrounding community), and financial (managing economic life well) aspects.
One in six adults worldwide are considered thriving – or strong and consistent — in at least three of the five elements of well-being, as measured by the Gallup-Healthways Global Well-Being Index. For example residents of the Singapore score quite low at the 19%, while New Zealand leads in Asia – Pacific with 67%.
The Gallup Global Well-Being measures have opened up new opportunities to study issues that affect people in different communities around the world in ways that GDP would not. For example, life satisfaction aspects of the Gallup World Poll data have been exploited to measure inequality in the distribution of subjective wellbeing (Gluzmann & Gasparini 2). Measuring inequality in subjective wellbeing might be complementary to the various approaches aimed at computing unfairness in a society because it may in some way have benefits over the usual income inequality measurements. Some perceived income inequalities may arise due to personal choices if all constraints are observed thus cannot be considered unfair. A case in point is when two individuals facing similar opportunities make different choices. One choice might lead to a better, healthier lifestyle while the other subjects the individual to poverty. Free choices resulting in socially acceptable income inequality should not be regarded as unfair. The assessment of subjective wellbeing is less likely to be susceptible to such differences. Under evaluation of subjective wellbeing, differences in perceived happiness may better estimate social unfairness rather than income unfairness (Gluzmann & Gasparini 4). Gallup World Poll provides data that can be used to compare wellbeing in different countries. It cures one of the most significant problems associated with compering inequality across countries and regions, namely, the generation of homogenous information. The poll poses the same question across all countries in all areas, which significantly reduces spurious differences in estimating comparisons. This reduces sources of measurement error significantly. It is noteworthy that people may not interpret and answer the standardized questions the same in different countries, leading to additional errors. However, the advantages of estimating subjective wellbeing and its rising popularity imply that improvements in the measurements will yield better results.

Technological Revolution

Usually, information and communication technologies are considered a key driver of economic growth and productivity. Different reviews indicate that technological effects tend to be positive at the organizational level (United Nations Conference on Trade and Development [UNCTAD 34]). However, it has been reported that productivity tends to drop as economies entrench technologies in every sector. In other words, the rapid digitization of economies has not translated into strong productivity. On the contrary, productivity growth appears to have stunted over the past few decades, with the slowdown more pronounced in developed countries and also in developing countries (UNCTAD 34). This is a productivity paradox because as technological advancement and use have increased, productivity growth has decreased, which is contrary to popular expectations (Remes et al.). The digitization of economies into digital economies has thus far not translated into increased productivity. The paradox in the digital economy is attributed to different reasons. A more pessimistic perspective considers the technological effects on productivity as having fewer impacts on productivity growth than the revolutionary technological advances of the past (UNCTAD 34). A more optimistic view links the slow growth of productivity to the time lags between the time the technologies are introduced and the time actual effects are felt (European CEO). As a result, more visible impacts on productivity will occur when technologies are adopted widely within the economy. An additional contributing factor to the productivity paradox is the difficulties associated with measuring the digital economy. The slow growth in productivity might be explained by the lack of proper recording of technological activities in that in overall GDP estimation. Consequently, the proper measurement would be reflected in increased productivity. In developed countries, demographic factors associated with the aging population are also linked to the slow growth in productivity (UNCTAD 34). Therefore, the productivity paradox related to the technological revolution arises from multiple factors.

Quality of the GDP

Measuring economic growth in purely quantitative categories diminishes the significance of “high-quality growth.” High-quality growth encompasses increased technological self-reliance, significant production and welfare transformation, the establishment of a comprehensive safety net for the citizens, enhancement of quality healthcare, education, and employment, and reduction of inequality across regions and various demographic characteristics (Wärtsilä). It reflects a policy change that focuses on investment areas that guarantee increased productivity, such as production, consumption, healthcare, and education (Pfeffer). The concept of high-quality growth is being advanced by China to reorganize the economy in a way that focus on increased domestic consumption and investing in productive sectors to drive the overall economic growth. For example, after decades of heavy investments in infrastructural projects and the manufacturing sector, the country realizes that roads and bridges are not productive but rather facilitates productivity. Policy change to shift investment into more productive sectors of the economy might bring sustainable economic growth and wellbeing. At the sectorial level, administrative job control is one of the main factors impacting the health of the employees (Pfeffer). The return of line of sight to the work, workplace flexibility, autonomous fusion teams, fluidity in work practices, and organizational health can elevate the personal wellbeing of the employees. The functional organization provides an environment with less stress caused by micromanagement demands from the employees. Therefore, wellbeing is a product of economic policy at the national level and the contribution of the private sector in nurturing the wellbeing of employees.

Conclusion

The failure of GDP as a measurement proxy of economic growth is less effective in contemporary society. It assumes that an economy will experience perpetual growth, which is a difficult achievement. Even where economies have experienced phenomenal growth over the years, the economic expansion failed to transform the lives of millions of citizens. The technological revolution also has been unable to expand the GDP as it was initially believed despite the fact that the significant impacts technology has had on society. It led to the conclusion that GDP has limitations as a measure of economic growth because it does not account for the non-monetary aspects that matter to people. As a result, new indexes such as the Gallup Global Wellbeing have been developed and are experiencing rising popularity due to their ability to compute wellbeing. In particular, the estimation of subjective wellbeing creates opportunities for improved measurement of social inequality. Furthermore, the realization that wellbeing is important to citizens is supporting new ideas of measuring national economic growth. China’s shift to the assessment of the quality of economic growth indicates a paradigm shift where countries focus on national statistics that reflect their economic realities.

References

Dolar, Veronika. “Why stagflation is an economic nightmare – and could become a real headache for Biden and the Fed if it emerges in the US.” The Conversation (2022). https://theconversation.com/why-stagflation-is-an-economic-nightmare-and-could-become-a-real-headache-for-biden-and-the-fed-if-it-emerges-in-the-us-179036. Accessed 21 Mar. 2022.
European CEO. “Giving a voice to the digital revolution’s silent majority.” (2019). https://www.europeanceo.com/industry-outlook/giving-a-voice-to-the-digital-revolutions-silent-majority/. Accessed 21 Mar. 2022.
Gallup. “2014 Country Well-Being Rankings.”
Giannetti, Biagio F., et al. “A review of limitations of GDP and alternative indices to monitor human wellbeing and to manage ecosystem functionality.” Journal of cleaner production 87 (2015): 11-25.
Gluzmann, Pablo, and Leonardo Gasparini. “International inequality in subjective well‐being: An exploration with the Gallup World Poll.” Review of Development Economics 22.2 (2018): 610-631.
McKinsey Global Institute – “Global growth: Can productivity save the day in an aging world?” page 49
Pfeffer, Jeffrey. “The overlooked essentials of employee wellbeing.” McKinsey Global Institute (2018). https://www.mckinsey.com/business-functions/people-and-organizational-performance/our-insights/the-overlooked-essentials-of-employee-well-being. Accessed 21 Mar. 2022.
Remes, Jaana et al. “Solving the productivity puzzle.” McKinsey Global Institute (2018). https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/regions-in-focus/solving-the-productivity-puzzle. Accessed 21 Mar. 2022.
Wärtsilä. “Going beyond GDP: China targets a new path to growth.” (2021). https://www.wartsila.com/insights/article/going-beyond-gdp-china-targets-a-new-path-to-growth. Accessed 21 Mar. 2022.
Authors

Paul Lalovich

Organizational Effectiveness and Strategy Execution Practice

Tesha Teshanovich

Organizational Effectiveness and Strategy Execution Practice

I want to begin by saying that I recognize that I am extremely lucky to have the opportunity and freedom to make this decision. Definitely don't want to come off as boastful and am genuinely looking for advice.
I applied to Western's National Scholarship program and ended up receiving the 70k President's Entrance Scholarship (1 of 1) as well as Scholar's Electives. I also received an offer to Mac Health Sci last week. I know a huge part of this decision comes down to my future goals which so far have been getting into medical school and pursuing medicine.
I know that Mac Health Sci is notoriously a "feeder" program with its high matriculate rate into med, but I was wondering if the program itself still outweighs the opportunities that Western is providing. I've included my thoughts about each program below:
Mac Health Sci

• "Easier" program with lots of elective space (yay) that better sets you up to obtain a high GPA
• More time to devote to ECs, research, hobbies, and general work-life balance
• Smaller class sizes along with more faculty support
• I've heard the environment is less toxic and people are generally more supportive in Health Sci despite the premed culture
• Inquiry and PBL with emphasis on group work
  • The learning style is definitely new to me and I'm a little concerned if I'll truly enjoy it since I've heard from a mix of people who love it, learn to love it, or absolutely despise it
  • I'm very comfortable with the traditional learning style since it's what I'm used to (lectures and exams) but am willing to adapt to this new learning style, especially if it means that I get to grow as a person through group work and the program's focus on assignments over exams (although, I will say my stance on group work is pretty neutral and my experiences in high school do not help that lol)
  • The ability to guide my own learning through inquiry sounds really cool
• Given the program's heritage, many resources available and support from upper years on med applications
• Writing reflections and courses where the final is an interview with a facilitator seem like good practice for med interviews and becoming a better writer

Western Med Sci

• 70k is a LOT, but I will say that financially, I am in a position where the money is nice but I am by no means drowning myself in debt if I reject it
• A high GPA is achievable, but will require much more work and dedication, possibly taking away time that could be spent on ECs and other things
• Is a weeder program that forces you to take certain courses that are known to tank GPAs such as Stats and Applied Math, and I think this also cultivates an environment where people see each other as competition and are much less willing to help each other out
• I am genuinely interested in the hard sciences and modules offered, but they seem to be more geared towards preparing you for grad school or alternative professions
• Better preparation for the MCAT (the depth that some courses go is probably overkill)
• The opportunity to start doing research with a prof in 2nd year through the Scholar's Electives program (will be overloading by 0.5 credits in 1st and 4th year though, and I'm not yet sure if research is something I enjoy)
• First-choice residence in 1st year (this is a small thing) and guaranteed on-campus housing in upper years

I've visited both campuses and liked the feel at both so that isn't too much of a factor for me. The opportunities in London vs. Hamilton also seem pretty comparable. Health Sci sounds amazing and the only thing that really concerns me is the untraditional learning style and if I am one of the few it doesn't click for. I do not want the next 4 years of my life to always be nose to the grindstone and the balance seems significantly better at Mac than Western, but I also recognize that Mac is not a guaranteed ticket to med school and it truly depends on the person, not the program.
If anyone could provide their two cents, I would greatly appreciate it :)

A list of all the ideologies (within the game files), including their descriptions. Enjoy.

Conservatism

Conservatism is a political and social philosophy promoting traditional social institutions in the context of culture and civilization. The central tenets of conservatism include tradition, human imperfection, organic society, hierarchy and authority, and property rights. Conservatives seek to preserve a range of institutions such as monarchy, religion, parliamentary government, and property rights, with the aim of emphasizing social stability and continuity.
National Conservatism National conservatism is a variant of conservatism that concentrates more on national interests and upholding cultural or ethnic identity than most other conservatives. In Europe, national conservatives are usually Eurosceptics.
Gaullism
Gaullism is a French political stance based on the thought and action of World War II French Resistance leader General Charles de Gaulle, who would become the founding President of the Fifth French Republic.
Corporatism I do not know where the description for this is. Considering corporatism doesn't exactly fit within conservatism I believe this is a mistake, but I'm including it here anyway.
Republican Party [sic]
The Republican Party is one of the two major political parties in the United States, the other being its historic rival, the Democratic Party. The party is named after republicanism, a major ideology of the American Revolution. Founded by anti-slavery activists, economic modernizers, ex-National Republicans, ex-Free Soilers and Whigs in 1854, the Republicans largely dominated politics nationally and in the majority of northern states between 1860 and 1932.
Religious Zionism Formed as a nationalist opposition and acts as the basis of the Israeli right, Revisionist Zionism envisions territorial integrity over the historical Land of Israel and supports Jewish nationalism. Revisionist Zionists believed that Jews have sovereignty over both banks of the Jordan river and its followers question the legitimacy of the Kingdom of Jordan. Currently, Revisionist Zionism is regarded as a fringe ideology but its proponents have recently began a push to make the ideology more moderate and hence more electable.
Black Conservatism Black Conservatism is a type of conservative ideology popular among Africans in both hemispheres. Individuals which would promote black conservatism would likely be advocates of free market capitalism, promotion of traditional beliefs (generally in regards to Catholic and Protestant Christianity), and Patriotism or Jingoism. Black Conservatism generally is opposed to Pan-Africanism, Socialism, and Anti-Imperialism.

Liberal Conservatism

Liberal conservatism combines conservative policies with liberal stances, especially on economic, social and ethical issues. It incorporates the classical liberal view of minimal government intervention in the economy, according to which individuals should be free to participate in the market and generate wealth without government interference. However, individuals cannot be thoroughly depended on to act responsibly in other spheres of life, therefore liberal conservatives believe that a strong state is necessary to ensure law and order and social institutions are needed to nurture a sense of duty and responsibility to the nation. They also support civil liberties, along with some social conservative positions.
Conservative Liberalism Conservative liberalism is a variant of liberalism, combining liberal values and policies with conservative stances, or simply representing the right-wing of the liberal movement. It is a more positive and less radical variant of classical liberalism.

Christian Democracy

Christian democracy is a form of conservatism and a political ideology which emerged in 19th century Europe under the influence of Catholic social teaching, as well as Neo Calvinism. It was originally conceived as a combination of traditional Catholic beliefs and modern democratic ideas, and it grew to incorporate the social teaching of other Christian denominations, such as the Lutheran Church and the Reformed Church.
Vatican [sic]
The politics of Vatican City take place in a framework of an theocratic absolute elective monarchy, in which the Pope, religiously speaking, the leader of the Roman Catholic Church and Bishop of Rome, exercises ex officio supreme legislative, executive, and judicial power over the Vatican City, a rare case of non-hereditary monarchy.

Socialism

Socialism is a range of economic and social systems characterized by social ownership and workers' self-management of the means of production as well as the political theories and movements associated with them. Social ownership may refer to forms of public, collective or cooperative ownership, or to citizen ownership of equity. There are many varieties of socialism and there is no single definition encapsulating all of them, though social ownership is the common element shared by its various forms. Socialist economic systems can be divided into non-market and market forms. Non-market socialism involves the substitution of factor markets and money, with engineering and technical criteria, based on calculation performed in-kind, thereby producing an economic mechanism that functions according to different economic laws from those of capitalism. Non-market socialism aims to circumvent the inefficiencies and crises traditionally associated with capital accumulation and the profit system. By contrast, market socialism retains the use of monetary prices, factor markets and in some cases the profit motive, with respect to the operation of socially owned enterprises and the allocation of capital goods between them. Profits generated by these firms would be controlled directly by the workforce of each firm, or accrue to society at large in the form of a social dividend. The socialist calculation debate discusses the feasibility and methods of resource allocation for a socialist system.
Democratic Socialism Democratic socialism is a political philosophy that advocates political democracy alongside social ownership of the means of production, with an emphasis on self-management and democratic management of economic institutions within a market or some form of decentralized planned socialist economy.
Market Socialism Market socialism is a type of economic system involving the public, cooperative, or social ownership of the means of production in the framework of a market economy.
Royal Socialism No information in the game files. Probably a scrapped ideology, but still here for showcase purposes.
Neocommunism Ditto to above.
African Socialism African socialism is a belief in sharing economic resources in a traditional African way, as distinct from classical socialism. Common principles of African socialism are social development guided by a large public sector, incorporating the African identity and what it means to be African, and the avoidance of the development of social classes within society.
Ujamaa The Swahili word Ujamaa means 'extended family', 'brotherhood' or 'socialism'; as a political concept it asserts that a person becomes a person through the people or community. Ujamaa was a term made popular by the political philosophy applied under Julius Nyerere's social and economic development policies in Tanzania after it gained independence from Britain in 1961.
Labor Zionism (Mapai) Labor Zionism is the left-wing of the Zionist movement. For many years, it was the most significant tendency among Zionists and Zionist organizations. It saw itself as the Zionist sector of the historic Jewish labor movements of Eastern and Central Europe, eventually developing local units in most countries with sizable Jewish populations. Labor Zionists believe that a Jewish state could only be created through the efforts of the Jewish working class settling in the Land of Israel and constructing a state through the creation of a progressive Jewish society with rural kibbutzim and moshavim and an urban Jewish proletariat.
Kemalism Kemalism is the founding ideology of the Republic of Turkey. Kemalism, as it was implemented by Mustafa Kemal Atatürk, was defined by sweeping political, social, cultural and religious reforms designed to separate the new Turkish state from its Ottoman predecessor and embrace a Westernized way of living, including the establishment of democracy, secularism, state support of the sciences and free education.
Oriental Personalism Oriental Personalism is the official ideology of Ngo Dinh Diem's Can-Lao Party in South Vietnam. Owing as much to the influence of his brother, Ngo Dinh Nhu as Diem himself, Oriental Personalism has diverse ideological influences, including Emannuel Mournier's theory of Personalism, Marxism, and the folk traditions and religions of Vietnam. The Can-Lao manifest calls for the gradual transformation of Vietnamese society through two phase. In the first phase, the Personalist Revolution, the Social and Working Classes will tear their divisions and join as one. Then comes the Social Revolution, where all forms of capitalism and colonial influence will be swept out on a triumphant march to a utopian, socialist, and proudly Vietnamese society.

Social Democracy

Social Democracy is a political, social and economic ideology that supports economic and social interventions to promote social justice within the framework of a capitalist economy, as well as a policy regime involving a commitment to representative democracy, measures for income redistribution, and regulation of the economy in the general interest and welfare state provisions.
Democratic Party [sic]
The Democratic Party is one of the two major contemporary political parties in the United States, along with the Republican Party. Tracing its heritage back to Thomas Jefferson and James Madison's Democratic-Republican Party, the modern-day Democratic Party was founded around 1828 by supporters of Andrew Jackson, making it the world's oldest active political party.
Labor Zionism Functionally the exact same as Labor Zionism (Mapai), with the same description. I have no clue why it's divided as such.

Social Liberalism

Social liberalism is a political ideology that believes individual liberty requires a level of social justice. Like classical liberalism, social liberalism endorses a market economy and the expansion of civil and political rights and liberties, but differs in that it believes the legitimate role of the government includes addressing economic and social issues such as poverty, health care, and education.

Progressivism

Progressivism is the support for or advocacy of improvement of society by reform. As a philosophy, it is based on the idea of progress, which asserts that advancements in science, technology, economic development and social organization are vital to the improvement of the human condition.
Green politics Green politics is a political ideology that aims to create an ecologically sustainable society rooted in environmentalism, nonviolence, social justice and grassroots democracy.

Centrism

Centrism is a political outlook or specific position that involves acceptance or support of a balance of a degree of social equality and a degree of social hierarchy, while opposing political changes which would result in a significant shift of society either strongly to the left or the right.

Classical Liberalism

Democracy (yes, that is the entire description)
Libertarianism Libertarianism is a collection of political philosophies and movements that uphold liberty as a core principle. Libertarians seek to maximize political freedom and autonomy, emphasizing freedom of choice, voluntary association, and individual judgment. Libertarians share a skepticism of authority and state power, but they diverge on the scope of their opposition to existing political and economic systems.
Zionism (General Zionism) Many people and parties chose not to follow any of the distinct Zionist schools of thought and chose to stick to the core ideology of Zionism, settling in Israel and the establishment of the Jewish State. Many of the parties that stick to the 'core' of Zionism are centrist parties that don't associate themselves with either the left nor the right and tend to be economically liberal.

Marxism-Leninism

Marxism-Leninism is the ideology combining Marxist socioeconomic theory and Leninist political praxis, which is the official ideology of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics and of the Communist International. The purpose of Marxism-Leninism is the revolutionary development of a capitalist state into a socialist state, effected by the leadership of a vanguard party of professional revolutionaries from the working class.
Liberal Communism I can find no reference. I presume this refers to the like of Gorbachev.
Stalinism Stalinism is the means of governing and related policies implemented from around 1927 to 1953 by Joseph Stalin. Stalinist policies and ideas as developed in the Soviet Union included rapid industrialization, the theory of socialism in one country, a totalitarian state, collectivization of agriculture, a cult of personality and subordination of the interests of foreign communist parties to those of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, deemed by Stalinism to be the leading vanguard party of communist revolution at the time.
Juche Juche is the official state ideology of North Korea, described by the government as Kim Il-sung's original, brilliant and revolutionary contribution to national and international thought. It postulates that the Korean masses are to act as the masters of the revolution and construction and that by becoming self-reliant and strong a nation can achieve true socialism.
Ho Chi Minh Thought Ho Chi Minh Thought is the official ideology of the Communist Party of Vietnam under the leadership of Chairman Ho Chi Minh. Though firmly Marxist-Leninist, Ho believes in a more nationalistic reintepretation of Marxism for the unique conditions of the Vietnamese revolution, even taking some influence from Sun Yat-Sen's "Three Principles of the People" and the American revolutionaries. Ho Chi Minh Thought is as proudly Vietnamese as it is Communist, and calls for a "national democratic revolution" -- a truly Vietnamese path to socialism where worker, peasant, soldier, and merchant will unite against inequality and imperialism in all its forms.

Revolutionary Socialism

Revolutionary socialism is the socialist doctrine that social revolution is necessary in order to bring about structural changes to society. More specifically, it is the view that revolution is a necessary precondition for a transition from capitalism to socialism.
Revolutionary Islamic Socialism Your guess is as good as mine.
Trotskyism Trotskyism is the theory of Marxism as advocated by Russian Leon Trotsky. Trotsky identified as an orthodox Marxist and Bolshevik-Leninist. He supported founding a vanguard party of the proletariat, proletarian internationalism and a dictatorship of the proletariat based on working class self-emancipation and mass democracy.
Sartre Thought No description given.
Anarcho-Communism Anarcho-communism is a theory of anarchism which advocates the abolition of the state, capitalism, wage labor and private property in favor of common ownership of the means of production, direct democracy and a horizontal network of workers' councils with production and consumption based on the guiding principle: From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.
Posadism No description. Another relic.
Titoism Titoism is described as the post-World War II policies and practices associated with Josip Broz Tito during the Cold War, characterized by an opposition to the Soviet Union. It usually represents Tito's Yugoslav doctrine in Cold War international politics. It emerged with the Yugoslav Partisans' liberation of Yugoslavia independently of the Red Army, resulting in Yugoslavia being the only Eastern European country to remain socialist, but independent after World War II as well as resisting Soviet Union pressure to become a member of the Warsaw Pact.
Left-wing Military Dictatorship a Left-wing Military Dictatorship is a government which may espouse specific socialistic beliefs to gain second world support, but is however a military-controlled oppressive autocratic state. [sic]
Person Dignity Theory (Nhuism) Person Dignity Theory, also known as Spiritualistic Marxism, describes the more radical worldview of Ngo Dinh Nhu. Influenced by his involvment with French syndicalism in the 1930s and the left-wing nationalism of the Viet Minh, Nhu's views are significantly to the left of his older brother. Nhu's interpretation of \"True Marxism\" calls for a total centralization of state power in the Can Lao Party and the complete destruction of traditional society in favor of the strict regimentation of the peasants in collectivist \"Strategic Hamlets\" and the city dwellers through \"Urban Revolutionary Syndicates\". Some believe Nhu's ambitions may lie beyond Vietnam, given his calls for a worldwide crusade against \"Materialistic Capitalism\". [sic]

Maoism (Mao Zedong Thought)

Actually clumps together "anti-revisionist" ideologies, but for our purposes we'll start with Mao Zedong Thought.
Mao Zedong thought is the product of the combination of the basic principles of Marxism Leninism and the specific reality of the Chinese revolution. It is the crystallization of the collective wisdom of the Chinese Communists. It is a political, military and development theory advocated by Mao Zedong and widely practiced in the Chinese revolution in the 20th century. It is generally considered to be the development of Marxism Leninism in China.
Anti-Revisionism A Marxist-Leninist position emerging after the XXth Congress of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union. Anti-revisionist movements oppose the reforms of the Khrushchev period and uphold Stalinist and Maoist developments in Marxism.
Marxism-Leninism-Maoism The synthesis of Marxism–Leninism–Maoism did not occur during the life of Mao Zedong. From the 1960s, groups that called themselves Maoist or which upheld Maoism were not unified around a common understanding of Maoism and had instead their own particular interpretations of the political, philosophical, economical and military works of Mao; these disorganized ideological trends comprised, and still comprise, Mao Zedong Thought.
Scientific Socialism Scientific Socialism was founded by Friedrich Engels and Karl Marx, but was widely used by Deng Xiaoping of the PRC to reform Maoism. It is often Maoism, but with a few reforms that add more emphasis on science, industrialization, and overall a new focus on the economy.
Hoxhaism Hoxhaism is a variant of anti-revisionist Marxism-Leninism that developed in the late 1970s due to a split in the Maoist movement, appearing after the ideological dispute between the Communist Party of China and the Party of Labor of Albania. The ideology is named after Enver Hoxha, a notable Albanian communist leader.
Guevarism Guevarism is a theory of communist revolution and a military strategy of guerrilla warfare associated with communist revolutionary Ernesto \"Che\" Guevara. The ideology promotes exporting revolution to any country whose leader is supported by the empire (United States) and has fallen out of favor with its citizens. The ideology has three main points, namely that the people can win with proper organization against a nation's army; that the conditions that make a revolution possible can be put in place by the popular forces; and that the popular forces always have an advantage in a non urban setting. [sic]

Third Positionism

Encompassing a variety of ultra-nationalist movements, third positionism typically venerates devotion to the state and uniting the people under a strong leader. Third Positionism is presented as its own unique ideology as a third option to capitalism or communism.
Falangism An authoritarian ideology with traits of fascism and conservatism, Falangist values national and Catholic identity.
Rexism Strongly opposed to both liberal and communist ideals, Rexism is a staunchly conservative nationalist movement who advocate a corporatist economic policy. Employing increasingly populist and authoritarian rhetoric, their ideals are shifting closer to other fascist movements.
Hindu Nationalism Hindu nationalism has been collectively referred to as the expression of social and political thought, based on the native spiritual and cultural traditions of the Indian subcontinent.
Salazarism Salazarism is a nationalist authoritarian ideology focusing on 'God, Fatherland and Family' and emphasizing the social role of Catholicism - setting it apart from mainstream variations of Fascism.
Neo-Nazism Neo-Nazism consists of post-World War II militant, social or political movements seeking to revive the ideology of Nazism. It borrows elements from Nazi doctrine, including ultranationalism, racism up to xenophobia, ableism, homophobia, anti-Romanyism, antisemitism, anti-communism and initiating the Fourth Reich. Holocaust denial is a common feature, as is the incorporation of Nazi symbols and admiration of Adolf Hitler.
National Bolshevism National Bolshevism is a political movement that combines elements of nationalism and Bolshevism.
Baathism Baathism is an Arab nationalist ideology that promotes the development and creation of a unified Arab state through the leadership of a vanguard party over a progressive revolutionary government.
Ku Klux Klan The Ku Klux Klan is an American white supremacist hate group. The Klan has existed in three distinct eras at different points in time during the history of the United States. Each has advocated extremist reactionary positions such as white supremacy, white nationalism, anti-immigration and-especially in later iterations-Nordicism and anti-Catholicism.
Kahanism No information.
Authenticité Ditto.
Trujillism Ditto.
Peronism Ditto.

Nationalism

Encompassing a variety of ultra nationalist movements, Nationalism typically venerates devotion to the state and uniting the people under a strong leader.
National Democracy no desc.
Pan-Africanism Pan-Africanism is a worldwide movement that aims to encourage and strengthen bonds of solidarity between all people of African descent. Based on a common fate going back to the Atlantic slave trade, the movement extends beyond continental Africans, with a substantial support base among the African diaspora in the Caribbean, Latin America and the United States.
Leftwing Nationalism Leftwing Nationalism is a form of nationalism which promotes the raising of societal standards for one's own national people generally through the introduction of social equality and government nationalization. Leftwing Nationalism is often anti-imperialist and can commonly represent national liberation fronts. Generally, Leftwing Nationalism will be a response to repeated exploitation of a nation by outside factors.
Bourguibism No desc.
Nasserism Nasserism is a revolutionary ideology, inspired by the second Egyptian President, Gamal Abdel Nasser; espousing the unification of what is referred to as the Arab world. It asserts that the Arab people constitute a single nation or federation, based upon a shared language and culture, transcending Islam and Christianity. Advocates of Nasserism have often been described representing political and economic positions which are secular, socialist, nationalistic, socially progressive, and anti-imperialist.
Revisionist Zionism See above.

Monarchism

A monarchy is a form of government in which a group, generally a family representing a dynasty, embodies the country's national identity and its head, the monarch, exercises the role of sovereignty.
Islamic Monarchy Islamic monarchies are a type of Islamic state which are monarchies. They are historically known by various names, such as Mamlakah, Caliphate, Sultanate, or Emirate.
Negusa Nagast
Negusa Nagast, or king of kings, is a type of selective hereditary imperial monarchy that became the prevalent leadership of Ethiopia since Negus Zemene Mesafint ended the Age of Princes period where Ethiopia was fractured between small principalities, kindoms, and sultanates.

Reactionary (also Neutrality)

In political science, a reactionary is a person who holds political views that favor a return to the status quo ante, the previous political state of society, which he or she believes possessed characteristics that are negatively absent from the contemporary status quo of a society.
Despotism Despotism is a form of government in which a single person rules with absolute power.
Military Dictatorship A military dictatorship is a form of government wherein a military force exerts complete or substantial control over political authority.
Oligarchic Oligarchy is a form of government in which a group of people rule with absolute power.
Colonialism Colonialism is the policy of a foreign polity seeking to extend or retain its authority over other people or territories, generally with the aim of opening trade opportunities. The colonizing country seeks to benefit whilst the colonized country or land mass, as many of the colonized countries were not countries at all, modernize in terms defined by the colonizers, especially in economics, religion, and health.
Independent An independent politician is an individual politician not affiliated with any political party.
Haredi no desc.
Vennamoism Vennamolaisuus, or Vennamoism in english is name given to the ideology and political movement of Veikko Vennamo, the leader of Finnish Rural Party. It is categorized by populism, reliance on slogans and support for agriculture.

Islamism

Sunni Islam is the largest denomination of Islam. Its name comes from the word Sunnah, referring to the exemplary behavior of the Islamic prophet Muhammad
Democratic Islamism Islamic democracy is a political ideology that seeks to apply Islamic principles to public policy within a democratic framework. Islamic political theory specifies three basic features of an Islamic democracy: leaders must be elected by the people, subject to sharia and committed to practicing \"shura\", a special form of consultation practiced by Prophet Muhammad
Ibadi Imamate no desc.

Radical Shiaism

Shia is a branch of Islam which holds that the Islamic prophet Muhammad designated Ali ibn Abi Talib as his successor (Imam).
Shia Monarchy no desc.
Houthiism
Houthiism is an armed movement stemming from a sect of Shia Islam, Zaidiism. Houthiism is almost nonexistent outside of Yemen. The Houthi movement strongly opposes Saudi Arabia, the US, and Israel and seeks to combat the 'underdevelopment and marginalization' of Yemen.

Salafism

Salafism is a reform branch or revivalist movement within Sunni Islam that developed in Egypt in the late 19th century as a response to Western European imperialism, with roots in the 18th-century Wahhabi movement that originated in the Najd region of modern day Saudi Arabia.
"Eereerhmm... where are the ideology tags?" NOWHERE! I will not add them.

First of all, I want to say that I am not ableist. Nope. I think discrimination against people with factors they are both with is always bad, and basically my philosophy can be summed up in this Office quote:
"You don't call retarded people 'retards'. It's bad taste. You call your friends 'retards' when they're acting retarded."
However, I don't think the r-word (retard) is that bad. Almost every usage of the word I have heard in daily life has most definitely not been targeted to people with disabilities (actually, most of the usages are targeted to me LOL, with people I know, of course).
Even if you guys think it is really that bad, what are you actually going to do to stop it? 90% of every adolescent guy in HS either uses it or condones it as an insult towards someone for shits & giggles. If one is going to actively say they condemn it, I would imagine some ppl feel like they are walking eggshells when talking to one. I am guaranteeing you that no matter who you are, that a friend or a friend's friend uses the word "retard" or something similar, absolutely 110%; even theater kids might use it sometimes.
In school culture, at least American, it's treated more as a swear word than a discriminatory term.
Now, is the word "retarded" always funny? Of course not. It's sometimes overused so it becomes annoying and unoriginal, almost like 1st grade humor type shit. But, swearing was never meant to be original, was it? The nature of the sheer immaturity in adolescent friend groups is sometimes hilarious in itself.
Obviously, don't ever use it to people with disabilities, because again that is highly bad taste. I would like to think I support good conduct & the golden rule and therefore do not condone that kind of usage. If I had a disability, I think I would still be ok with the word retard, but just not with strangers saying that to me. Ofc, that is not something I am qualified to speak on, so if you're disabled, I'm more than glad to hear your input.
All in all, downvote me if you really think you want to, but I am more looking for inputs.

Hey everyone,
I really need to vent and get some advice about something that’s been driving me crazy.
So, my parents have pretty much decided I should marry this guy who’s the brother of my mom’s friend. They’re really pushing for it, but I just don’t like him. He’s not my type at all, and his education and background don’t match mine. We’re just not compatible.
I’m into IT, and my family doesn’t get my career or interests. They think I’m being too picky, but I really need someone who understands and shares my interests.
I actually said yes to the proposal a few days ago because I felt so pressured, but now I’m seriously regretting it. I tried talking to my mom last night, and she got super emotional, saying things like I’m going to give her a heart attack. It’s just too much. My dad even said I should trust them or not come to him again. It’s a lot to handle.
The worst part is, if I say no now, I’m scared my parents will never forgive me, and it’ll ruin our relationship. They’re really worried about their reputation if I reject this proposal, especially since I’ve already rejected the same guy before. My mom is super stressed and says she feels disgraced in front of her friends. They also think that finding a suitable match for me will be difficult because of my height and other factors. My sister and her husband are trying to talk to my parents for me, but I don’t know if it’ll help.
This whole marriage proposal situation is because we’re Muslims, and in Pakistani culture, there’s a huge emphasis on arranged marriages. My parents feel it’s their responsibility to find a suitable match for me, and they’re really pushing this because of societal expectations.
I’m just so stuck. I want someone who gets me and shares my dreams, not just someone my parents think is a good match. I need to figure this out before it’s too late, but I’m feeling so lost and stressed.
Any advice or just some would mean a lot right now.
Edit: I just turned 25 few days and and height is 4’9
Edit: The reason this post sound a robotic is because I used Chat GPT to summarize my situation so other can atlest make sense out of my problem.

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Hello community. I am recovering from a recent break up with someone I met on a dating app 2 years ago. I had observed the guy to be especially stingy and selfish during the dates which was off-putting and wasn't attracted to him at all when we went out on 3 dates, after which, he sent me a text saying he doesn't think we are headed in a romantic direction and wondered if I'd like to stay friends. Since we were both new to the city and wanted to explore it further, I thought it isn't a bad idea to stay friends.
After being friends for a year, he asked me out after I told him about a bad online dating experience. It stood out to me that he chose a moment of my vulnerability to ask me out on a date again, saying he was attracted to me after watching me dance. I didn't reciprocate as I wasn't feeling right about it and didn't want to ruin the friendship that was developing with him. His relationship history was also a factor that kept me guarded. He had been with a woman on again off again over 10 years. He said she was an avoidant and he felt the relationship was over when he tried to move cities for her and she asked him not to and broke up with him. The other reason I didn't feel confident in him was as he seemed to have many surface-level friends from his coworking space but no close friends who really know him. His best friend and partner moved to the city a few months ago but even there something didn't seem to add up. He never seemed to accommodate to their needs (e.g. their dietary restrictions and hence never hosted them for dinner), and criticized them for being not as social and outgoing as he would like them to be.
After two months into our relationship, wherein he had made a few more attempts to 'proxy date', we had an argument over me wanting to move out of the city, where he made it about himself and how I am not considering how important he is to my life. He called the very next day and over 2 hours on the phone, apologized for his tone and his outburst and said it was only because I am so dear to him that he felt badly about me wanting to move. Something shifted in me after that call and I decided to date him.
The first month was magical- he told me he loved me and that I was the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. He introduced me to his parents over a call and I introduced him to mine, although typically, I'd have waited for a few years before doing that on my side as culturally it'd mean more to introduce him to my parents. We also talked about moving in to his place. He would proudly show me off in front of his friends from his coworking space but only focus on superficial details (job, appearance) and not the qualities for which he decided to be with me.
A month later, things started to shift. He said he didn't want to move in with me because he doesn't feel ready. When I pressed for an explanation, he said it's because we had an argument and he is no longer sure of me the way he was before. He also said that moving in wasn't a 'commitment' from his side and was merely an idea we'd been discussing. This is where my alarm bells went off. I clearly remembered him offering to put me on his lease as I wasn't comfortable to just move in without any formal paperwork. This led to our first major conflict within 2 months of being together. When we tried to resolve the conflict, he sat next to me and talked to me in a low, cold, impersonal tone, like he was in control, while I was distressed and wearing out with a conversation that seemed to be going nowhere for hours. Ultimately I broke down and gave away a vulnerable detail from my past relationship. He then asked what would reassure me in the relationship with him and I said any indication that he isn't pulling away from his overall commitment to the relationship. He then laughed and said okay, we have reached a resolution! His laugh was so unfitting to the cold/distant way he was behaving for the past few hours, it scared me a little. I wanted to leave his apartment but somehow thought maybe I am overthinking and that I should give him a chance. Every time we'd have an argument, he somehow focused on my reaction (crying, raising my voice), than what we were actually fighting about (him pulling away from commitments), leaving me feeling blamed and confused.
I noticed on more than one occasion that he couldn't provide care. When I was feeling low and called him requesting him to come over, he'd say "I am watching xyz show" or first say he'd come over and call up a few hours later and say "I am tired and if you're feeling better now then maybe I won't come today". I started to feel uncared for and lonely in the relationship.
As time passed, I noticed that he tried in very subtle ways to adopt his best friends as my friends. He kept saying "I don't want you to think they are my friends, I want them to be your friends too. You are new to the country and this will help you". Again my instincts warned me there was something off here, even though his friends appeared sweet and friendly and had been in his life for 10+ years. There were days when our previous argument about moving in resurfaced and we were having a bad day, but once we'd reconciled, he would compel me to socialize with his friends even if I said I needed some downtime/ time alone. When I got through a good university and told him about the news, he had a lukewarm reaction. He then went to these friends and took some advice after which, he showed up at my place with what sounded like very rehearsed lines of supporting my academic pursuits (without moving cities or taking any risks in the relationship- he suggested a long distance relationship).
In the past month I noticed being on eggshells around him, being confused about my thoughts and memories and blamed myself for the conflicts we were having. I raised these with him and broke up with him saying my emotional needs aren't being met. He didn't take any responsibility for his part. He often also brought up my anxiety issues/ trauma during arguments packaging it as concern for my wellbeing. His reaction during our fights/disagreements, he said "I can't cycle through arguments- I don't want to be that kind of a couple", "I can't change who I am, if I am not meeting your needs there's nothing we can do". After we broke up, I got a message from his best friend's partner who said she understands we are going through a difficult time and that she is here to support me if I needed a friend for a walk/ talk. I fell for it thinking she genuinely came across as a caring person. When I did meet her for a walk, she seemed to shut me down if I tried to talk about the breakup or my reasons for it and said focused on how much he cared for me and wants to remain friends with me.
I spoke to him after the walk saying somehow meeting his friend's partner felt uncomfortable. He admitted she had just gone over to his place before seeing me (she never mentioned it when she met me). It seemed to be a way for him to retain contact with me and reinforce his side of things in the breakup. He also kept insisting we stay friends as I meant a lot to him. I told him I was uncomfortable with the idea as I am hurting.
I shared all this with a trusted friend who said I may have been in a relationship with a narcissist. Would be great to get any insights from you if this seems to be the case. I am seeking help to recover from this as I often find myself still questioning and blaming myself.