Advice quotes on heartache

I am building a small house on my property (30 sq metres) in suburban Wellington, new Zealand.
I realise that my question might be too specific to New Zealand but i thought it may be general enough for this sub?
My architect has asked
Are you wanting the storm water from the 2 downpipes to connect to the existing stormwater pipes from the house? Or should we do a soak pit somewhere? - I'm not sure which of these will be 'easier' though, maybe you could ask your builder or plumber?
I'm thinking this is more of a drainlayer question but I'm finding it hard to get advice without engaging someone for an actual quote for the job. I'm not at that stage yet, it's just for the building consent.
From what i can see online eg https://www.xlstructural.co.nz/blog/options-for-stormwater-management
connecting to the existing pipes would be easier and therefore cheaper. This states:
The most straightforward and cost-effective method of stormwater disposal is connecting to the local council's stormwater system. This typically involves trenching and connecting downpipes, allowing runoff to flow into the council drainage network. However, this option is becoming less viable as councils restrict the number of stormwater connections to systems that are at or near capacity.
The new house is about 15 metres from the existing one (up a bank). There isn't a lot of spare room around where the new house will go which i assume would also be a problem.
Does anyone have any advice? Or recommendations of where i could ask, or find more information?
thank you

I am building a small house on my property (30 sq metres) in suburban Wellington. My architect has asked
Are you wanting the storm water from the 2 downpipes to connect to the existing stormwater pipes from the house? Or should we do a soak pit somewhere? - I'm not sure which of these will be 'easier' though, maybe you could ask your builder or plumber?
I'm thinking this is more of a drainlayer question but I'm finding it hard to get advice without engaging someone for an actual quote for the job. I'm not at that stage yet, it's just for the building consent.
From what i can see online eg https://www.xlstructural.co.nz/blog/options-for-stormwater-management
connecting to the existing pipes would be easier and therefore cheaper. This states:
The most straightforward and cost-effective method of stormwater disposal is connecting to the local council's stormwater system. This typically involves trenching and connecting downpipes, allowing runoff to flow into the council drainage network. However, this option is becoming less viable as councils restrict the number of stormwater connections to systems that are at or near capacity.
The new house is about 15 metres from the existing one (up a bank). There isn't a lot of spare room around where the new house will go which i assume would also be a problem.
Does anyone have any advice? Or recommendations of where i could ask, or find more information?
thank you

Hello! Love some advice on a quote. We’ve been quoted 6k for Hybrid floorboards installed in our 3 bed apartment, size is 66m2 and is a hallway and 3 bedrooms and the inside of a small cupboard. This includes some levelling in a small area, new trim through out and also carpet removal. Ball park, how does this sound?

Please bear with me it's long, half rant half needing advice, I'm at a loss.. I'll probably end up deleting this if gaining too much traction so no family or friends see it. This isn't everything but that would give away my identity. So we'll stick to just this... I(f19) and my mom(f54) keep our horses at home, I got mine before she got hers. Right after we moved in I fell into a deeeep depression, I barely got out of bed to even feed, barely ate and was over all in bad shape. She just kinda bitched at me that I wasn't up and feeding on time or wasn't spending time with my horses, kept telling me how she'd LOVE to have a horse at home and I do so I should go spend time with them. She also loves to tell me the story about her cousin growing up who had horses but only liked them for riding and wouldn't let my mom even pet them, how she never wants me to grow up like her because she only loved those horses because of showing and riding. Well, she got a horse! Last year. I still get bitched at, less tho because I kept telling her to stop going after me for not being out on time or spending time with them, while my mental is better it's more I'm faking better. And she? I can barely drag her butt out to see the horse, she'll go see other people's horses tho and spend hours doing things that she's not paid for, she's a trainer at a barn. Recently she thought of breeding her - dw she's got loads of experience, but found out due to a genetic disorder should not be bred. And tonight I almost was ran over when the mare came trotting into the barn after me while I followed my horses in. I told my mom in an annoyed tone, she needs manners or pick your favorite cause one of us is gonna get hurt, worried and annoyed about the situation and how she could have slipped on the concrete in the barn with her wet hooves from the storm outside. She just tells me "well she'll get me 10k and can't give me a baby so just sell her" not perfect quote but she was saying to sell her cause she can't ethical breed her. There been horses in the past shes loved, none hers. I never thought she was the one to not love or even try to form a bond with a horse just because she can't breed. This mare wants to be loved. She was abused so is a bit of a challenge but nothing my mom can't do. Especially since she's already made soo much progress. I think the topping on the cake is that I've delt with my mom's depressive episodes, every time something goes wrong in her life she's into a depression episode, granted what goes on for her to become like that is big like a huge change in her life that was unwarranted. I always have to be there. To pick her back up. Keep her from self deleting. She tells me she has no friends, I know there's people who'd listen and be there for her but she doesn't reach out. So it lands on me(not my dad, he doesn't do shit to help her mental health). I try to curve her depressive episodes the moment I see them arise, I've learned how to help her cause I've done it all my life. But even when I tell her I don't know what being happy feels like, that I don't remember the last time I was happy and that I think it's chemical and would like to find help, she discards it the next day.. Like I said nothing. Before we knew about the genetic disorder she said how could I breed her without you here with the other horses, that's unfair of me to ask you to put your life on hold. I told her, I'd wait, I'd stay at least until the mom and baby where settled with another horse or just the two of them. I want her to be happy. I want my mom to be happy, I don't know if she can't afford therapy, doesn't want it or what. But it's tiring and feels so unfair to the mare. I regret telling her to just try, keep her for at least the winter, try and bond.. Now I swear she sees her as a status symbol "I gotta horse" it's her first horse, maybe I should have seen this coming... Every time there's a set back, she says "this isn't the horse I wanted" and backs into a semi depressive state and stops even more being with the mare.
I don't know if there's anything I can do, what the 🦆 do I do. Do I just sit her down and tell her everything risking a depression episode she can't get out of? do I keep quiet and let her do what she feels is right? Or do I try and tell someone else? I also can't afford to risk losing living here rn, I don't have another place to go with my horses.

Ladies and Gents: Working on a blurb/book description for a completed story (unpublished), This is my second attempt following advice I received from an earlier post (thanks again, NorinBlade and Monpressive). Thanking you in advance, please let me know your thoughts on this blurb:
Smart and good-looking, Anna Skarsden and Jason Burchard have promising futures. But their personal demons are consuming them, threatening to destroy their futures, perhaps even their lives.
Anna struggles with a horrible trauma she’s desperate to hide. She’s fled back home, wanting to lay low while she recovers from a sexual assault she’s told no one about. Self-despair, however, is a stronger adversary than Anna’s counted on.
Jason pursues an impossible vendetta his anger won’t let go. Beaten senseless by a massively powerful man he’d found with his girlfriend, Jason’s quest for revenge has brought him to an MMA gym where he’s preparing for his first cage fight. But as his goal of vengeance draws closer, Jason finds out that trauma has a way of meddling with the best-laid plans.
Immersed in their troubles, neither Anna nor Jason are in the mood for a relationship. And yet, despite their heartaches, they cannot ignore their attraction for each other. Will their budding relationship save them from themselves, or hasten their self-destruction?
If you enjoy books by Nicholas Sparks then you’ll love Face the World with You. Set in modern-day Monterey, California, this coming of age story illustrates the redemptive power of love.

END<

this is an embarrassing post to make. i easily have about 20 tattoos at this point. i take a lot of time and effort choosing the pieces i want and usually wait months to get them done by my artist that i’ve been mostly loyal to. however, i went on a day trip today and got a matching walk in tattoo with a friend. the design was cute, but the aftermath of it has me feeling like sh*t. the shop was scammy, charged us more than what was quoted, and kept trying to force us to tip even though we both had a negative experience.
i know this is my own error, and it makes me feel even worse. i chose to get the tattoo on my forearm, going from 2 inches below my elbow almost to my wrist. it’s a weird placement and there’s nothing else on this forearm. the more i think about it and look at it, i hate it more. the lines look scratchy and the whole thing looks rushed (mostly bc the artist absolutely rushed).
i want it off of me asap. i would rather have my bare skin again there. i’m already healing another piece that my usual artist did and i really loved it and it made me feel good about myself. this new one destroyed that feeling. what is the best way to get this tattoo faded away asap?
i’ve done laser in the past and i will do it for this as a last resort. the ink is just black if that affects any answers. what can i do during the healing process to prevent the ink from taking? i know picking the flakes will sometimes work. can i use my nail gel UV lamp against it? how soon can i actually go to a laser removal clinic?
any advice is helpful, i know i f*cked up and im desperate. hopefully i will feel better about this whole situation in the morning but ultimately i want this gone.
tldr; i got a tattoo that i hate and i want it as faded as possible. any advice?

We have a screened in porch in the back that is one of the reasons we bought our house. However, between the pollen, the bugs, and our dog destroying the screens (he was just adopted and is now trained and the absolute best), it is sad and underutilized. And we found some major design issues that need to be fixed eventually. I want to look into converting into a 3-season room. We received one quote from a premier contracting firm that doesn't specialize in this but would do a great job but it was exorbitant. I found another company specializing in 3-season rooms, but they won't work in the city.
For anyone who has done this, do you have advice? Pictures? Recommendations on reasonable contractors?
Thanks!

Hey all, I am posting here for the first time because I honestly just want some outside opinions on what is going on in my life and would just love any information or help someone can give me.
So, for some context, I (23m) have been working for this car parts company for the better total of 1 year and 2 months. Recently, as in the last 4 months of this year, my General manager has changed from one person to another due to some higher stuff above me, I don't know much about what happened but it did happen and I was in the loop, I felt like I was respected by this new GM and honestly felt like I was going to start growing a bit bigger in this company. So a few months pass, we are having issues with employee retention, we have gone through about 10 employee's in 3 months. All because they either don't wanna continue working with the company or They found something better or something else happens, however, because of this I have been needing to step up far more than I normally should, I work as a Part-time hire, meaning that I should only be working at maximum 30 hours a week, however, because of the lack of employee's I have been pumped up to working almost 40 hours every week. As a part of being a Part-timer, I get 2 designated days off a week. However, over the last 2 months I have consistently either gotten only 1 day off, or I have gotten nothing. Never in the last 2 months have I gotten the 2 days that I requested off since everything has been happening. Recently, my boss has been getting on me more and more saying that I 'have fallen from where I was and need to do some training to get back to where I used to be' yet, I haven't fallen at all! I consistently get at least 1k in transactions done a day, I stock the shelves, I complete cycle counts, when I am doing the night shift I am always the only fucking person who mops the floor, I run the front of the house entirely by my self at times because either my 'manager' is off doing something else, or is sitting in the back office or outside smoking a cigarette. I have been for the last 2 months asking to move up yet time and time again I am told that I need to 'make changes' and 'show my efforts' to get this, yet they hire new employee's giving them the position I am asking for and continue to say 'keep trying and doing what the higher position needs to do if you want that position.' Especially with tonight when I found out that I am scheduled for tomorrow morning and yet my online schedule hasn't shown this change. I was under the impression that I wasn't going to need to come in so seeing that I am scheduled kind of upset me since NO ONE told me that this was happening. On top of that when confronted, my boss said and I quote, 'You have to look at the schedule. It's been said many times to look all the time.' like I am supposed to read their mind and know 'a change to the schedule has been made' especially when the schedule is either moved or someone has put it somewhere that I don't know where to find it.
Either way, my ask is that I wanna know if I am overreacting in thinking that I honestly am not going to be moving any higher in the job and should just leave while I can because if I am not careful I can end up hurting myself while working here. I'd also just love and advice when it comes to finding a new job at the moment because I know of the many different 'job scams' and 'false hires' that are out there. I don't know what I can do at the moment and am just scared, especially with my Partner moving in with me soon. Thank you for your time and thanks for reading my post.

Myself and two friends (living in Vancouver, from Ireland) are on an all inclusive holiday in Mexico, near Puerto Vallarta. Holiday was booked through Expedia. Part of this resort includes free use of non-motorised water sports (e.g., snorkelling, paddle boarding, snorkelling). We went paddle-boarding. Beforehand, the guy got use to put down our information - name, room number and signature. We did not read the form (which we should have) and at the top it said we took personal responsibility of the equipment. This was not highlighted by the guy. He gave us three paddle boards, one of which he had just used to set up the buoys and ropes in the water. We went out for about 30minutes max. Nothing significant happened when we were out and we follow the guys advice about handling the paddle boards. When we returned the paddle boards and were walking away he called us back and showed us that the fin on one of the girls boards had been broken. He called management of the resort. They can down with security and said it would be $22,000 mex pesos (approx $1700 cad - which wasn’t even the cost of our holiday each). We obviously did not want to pay that. We said we would have to talk with our insurance company (Irish based, with personal liability covering up to €1,000,000) and he kindly gave us two days to sort it out. Unfortunately we could not get a hold of them as they had closed for the weekend and we are leaving Mexico on Sunday. So we can not get any advice from them. We asked for formal written quote on the cost which he had said he would provide to us via the resort management along with a “discounted” price. We have not received this but received x2 letters in our door from management asking us to pay. We went to guest services and explained that we were waiting on the quote etc. they told us that the price was now $15,600 Med pesos (approx $1250 Cad) and said we could sort it out with the man tomorrow before we leave. I am looking for the following advice: How much are we liable for? (The price seems like it is covering the cost of a brand new board, which the one was not new). Should we pay even though we have not gotten advice from our insurance company? If we pay what information do we need to provide to the Irish insurance company? How likely are we to get reimbursed from the insurance company? Any Mexican laws or advice to handle this situation? Thanks in advance.

Be me, gymrat at heart, everyone knows me from name or rep cause powerlifters are rare in commercial gyms, have no other option.
Known this girl from name/face in the gym for about 2-2.5years now, nothing ever happend between us. She aint even my type.
Couple weeks ago, see her again since months, ask whats up and why i havent seen her around for ages? (other gymrats will know, you will get the feel of someones days/times pretty much on point within 1 or 2 hours of any given day they train if on a set schedule).
Girl tells me she been struggling with a couple things in personal life, also with gym and staying/being consistent, and having motivation to train. Talk to her about it a bit and ask then if she'd appreciate it if i'd remind her through text to come train? Cause ive known her as a regular i figured she might appreciate someone expecting her to show up.
She agrees to it and i remind her that im not one to bullshit, if i should text you or remind you to come, i will, and i *expect* you to show up. She says it's not a problem.
1.5-2weeks pass, i send her a text, and i quote:
Me: Hey, dont forget to come train.
*no reply*
more then 1 week passes, haven't seen her any day of the week, i mostly come late in the evening, as its open 24/7 and i come train every day.
1 week later: Me: Hey, when do you come train again? shoulders/arms tomorrow.
about 10min later,
Her reply: Hey, *name*, i havent replied earlier because my boyfriend doesn't like you texting me.
So i'd prefer if you left me alone. See you around.
Me: Okay, later.
*end of conversation, no reply from her further
So am i the asshole for keeping my word for texting her to come train? Did i do something wrong as she wants to be left alone?
Or am i being gaslighted here somehow?
What to do now if i see her again in gym? say Hi at all? ignore her, cause ''leave me alone'' part.
if boyfriend has so much a say in who texts her, in something she agreed to. Let alone talk to some guy that texted her, that he doesnt want her to talk to i suppose. And i am not looking to get canceled.
For extra context: we have never dated, or as much even had coffee together.
Neither do i have any of her social media, never even bothered her except in the gym with gym talk like: you know you can go heavier, right? you're holding yourself back too much. (my fellow gymrats will probably know what i mean). I've never flirted with her, and she isn't even my type. Was not even aware of said ''boyfriend'' or that, that was even in her life.
Actually i am very awkward around women, and i prefer to avoid them all together in general if i can.
Bottom line is: am i the problem/asshole? what to do now? advice?

I have a 2014 X3 35i with less than 90k miles and while older, it is in overall great shape. Recently the power steering stopped working and the dealership diagnosed it with a rack and pinion malfunction that requires replacement. The quote they gave me for official new replacement was around $6k and the vehicle itself is worth only a few thousand dollars more and I feel like it's not worth the replacement.
A local repair shop offered a ~$4k repair which is still quite a lot. He would be getting OEM as well.
Does anyone have any recommendations on what I can do to save some money on the part? The dealership had suggested looking into used parts, but the 3rd party repair shop did not recommend that due to coding issues maybe.
I know little about mechanical repair. Any advice would be very much appreciated. Is it reasonable to sell for parts at this point? Feels like a shameful waste on an otherwise lovely vehicle.

A last look at the situation that the Venlil are now placed in, having destiny being taken out of their paws for a long while now unable to change something in their favor, while these characters themselves have "good" endings for them living in a peaceful world full of opportunities, they might still feel guilt for what they have done in Terztan/Wriss, hating themselves for being too weak or scared to take more decisive action
Credit to u/spacepaladin15 for making NoP!
Thank you for reading, any feedback is appreciated!
“Heartaches”
[Memory Transcription]: Vilmat, Current Governor of Alios Dontess State
[Estimated Human Time]: [June 2, 1913]
“What the speh do you mean that the federation has found out about the Arxur, did SOMEONE LEAK THE INFORMATION?” I screamed at the R.I.S. agent in front of me, they called us all for an “emergency meeting” and thought it was some natural disaster that caused too much damage, but no, they just said that the federation had just announced that they knew about this.
“STARS DAMMIT” I scream as I throw the laptop in front of me, surrounded by me are some advisors, and some R.I.S. agents all taken aback by my sudden outburst, but honestly why were they even surprised, what other SPEHING reaction were they expecting from me
Why the speh we even deserve this, what past sin made us deserve this?
“Vilmat, maybe you should-” Seraz, my economic advisor tried to calm me down, trying to reach his claw over me, but I quickly brushed him off.
“No i'm not going to calm down, the federation has found out about the dominion and your homeworld might get destroyed because of the dominion, they are everything that the federation says how predators truly are, before they had a flimsy excuse on why they ignore our advice, now they have this [scapegoat] that they are going to use on why the “taint” is real, SPEH” I screamed again as I smash the table.
“Look, we can still convince the federation about the Arxur's innocence and help the remaining parts of the C.O.N retake their homeworld and crush the Arxur” Marla said as she´s always the more positive of the board, but I can't see any other way maybe than the death of the Arxur homeworld with this news.
“Continuing, as per the announcement the federation discovered in [1909] where they apparently meet with the “Northwest bloc” winning a war against the Morvin Charter and a supporting “alien” faction, the good news is that they don´t know it was us there, but here comes the worst of this news, one that the wider federation hasn't covered yet,” The R.I.S. agent said as he pointed to the projector in front of us, now changing to several photographs of dominion soldiers in a Thafki town? the speh?
“What the [hell] are dominion soldiers around a Thafki town, HOW THE HELL DID THEY EVEN GET THERE?” I asked the agent, and he just sighed and continued to talk.
“Some unknown number of federation warships fell on the hands of the dominion as well as other dominion-made ships, probably given by their benefactors in our previous war, we already had several agents in the planet of Thess, a Thafki colony world one of the closest to Terztan/Wriss, we had some agents there to check if someone was going to that planet, in [1909] some agents reported that many ships were heading there but was thought to be n error, since it was too big of a force for a simple exploration of an unknown planet.
But, the worst part of the attack on Thess apart from the dominion gaining some federation ships, is what happened next, this agent barely escaped from Thess to bring us this horrific video”
The projector changes again now playing a video, the person recording this was on some balcony, hidden as well, from their point of view, we're seeing a town square of some town, at first it's blurry but when it starts to be less and the video got a lot clearer, I couldn't believe what I saw.
Thafki in chains, being huddled to ships, some of them were hurt, but as I look unto the Dominion soldiers, oh stars, THEY ARE EATING SOMEONE THAT IS STILL ALIVE WHAT THE SPEH IS THAT, NOT EVEN IN THEIR HOMEWORLD THEY WERE THIS CRUEL.
As the footage ran on and on, it got worse as we saw what the dominion was doing, how the [hell] were these people even going with this, I heard the screams of the Thafki too in the footage, crying for someone to save them, as I look around me, most of my advisors and other people present were on the verge of tears or vomiting, the Arxur staff were just cursing the dominion, destroying their chances for them to become apart of the federation right in front of them.
What was even the aim of this attack on the federation?
Scaring us?
All I see here is them trying to get their homeworld killed, even if they are scary and cruel, the federation even with most of us having small space corps, combining just half of the forces that we have would outnumber them 30 to 1.
Oh stars, they are going to destroy Terztan/Wriss.
I just wrapped my paws around my head and started to cry, as a part of me just broke down, I already knew what the federation does to “predators”, they are just going to cleanse that world and burn it to dust, leaving nothing of what's left in that world already barren and gutted by the dominion, do those speh-heads have a death wish?
I'm sorry Iomass, I'm so sorry I couldn't make your wish come true, please forgive me.
Then I heard the footage finally stopping for good, as I removed my paws from my head I saw the whole room was made a mess from the previous footage, I could hear people wanting to just go and bomb them before the federation gets a chance to do so, some just ran outside probably going to the bathroom to vomit, Seraz along with others.
The R.I.S. agent then called our attention again, having already turned off the project and the other agents were present grabbing things.
“The main reason this information is being shared with you and the other 14 governors of the New Tursts archipelago, is because there are going to be tighter security measures from now on, fewer people will now go out and go in, as well as for our efforts to make this area the most self-sustaining as possible so that we can minimize imports as much as possible, the only way to get in this islands is now via ship as well, I recommend you all to take a break go home and try to relax, the government back home is handling this and will try to send forces at the earliest moment, good day everyone” the agent said as they left now.
Leaving us crushed, at the same time, I could see how many people started to call or was getting called.
I don't know how I can tell Shaza or Barelt this, I know they are almost adults already, with Shaza being part of the first bunch of people going to a university here, but I still remember the day I broke the news to them that their parents aren't going to come, I still remember the pain I saw in their eyes, having to comfort them to deal with this massive loss in their lives, even after all my failures in this lifetime, I somehow get Iomass last wishes destroyed, burned in front of me by the soon to be extermination fleet arriving to the Arxur home planet, not only killing the dominion but as well the innocents left behind, purged for the simple fact that they eat meat and looked scary, even though they are just like us.
In another universe the federation would have arrived there since the beginning, destroying the dominion where they started and destroying the benefactor, accepting them even with their more unique features as just another species deserving of a spot in the federation. Still, alas I dont live in that wonderful universe, being stuck here with an out-of-touch federation that would just kill them on sight, not even caring if they are a mere child, innocent of anything.
Stars, I just hope that Terztan/Wriss still exists by the end of this upcoming war.
​
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Hello looking for advice on my next step of what to do. Found oil in my coolant in my 2014 Crosstrek 115k miles and took it to the dealership. They told me that there is oil in my radiator and that my head gasket is leaking. They quoted me $7,600 for the whole replacement.
Should I take it to an independent mechanic or accept my loss. I bought this car a week ago and somehow missed it when inspecting the car. Any advice would be welcome.

Interested to hear from both general consumers as well as small businesses.
Where do you draw the line with free advice and free work?
Im a sole trader, after spending 8-10 hour on the tools i go home at night and catch up on quoting and admin or after hour inspections, including most weekends.
Clients are calling me out to quote renovations for houses they havn't purchased. Other clients are asking me to provide 3D drawings before i quote. People are getting me to look at damages I sure as hell know they want free advice so they can DIY.
Building quotes can take me several hours or days to quote, 3D drawings can take a whole day. Should i be charging or putting my foot down and saying no until acceptance or at least until they have purchased the house. Or is it expected as part of good customer service.

I know this isn't the most juiciest story you will read but I really need advice on this one. I (13F) have a little (10F) and I'd say we have a good sibling relationship with each other and have some fights here and there. A few days ago, me and my sister were getting ready to go to run errands with our mom (40F), and my little sister walked in wearing my shirt. This shirt for instance, looked like it would be hers since the way it fit her but it was in fact mind and I had been looking for it for a few days now. My grandmother (64F) is the one that does our landury and gets our clothing mixed up at times. I asked her to take it off and wear something else POLITELY. We went back and forth for a bit until my mom came and asked what was wrong. I tell her that she is wearing my sister and asked her to take it off because it's mine and i have been looking for it for a while. Me and my mom went back a forth of a minute, me saying it's my shirt and my mom saying it wasn't. But then she said to, in I quote "To stop mentalling abusing my sister." I was in shock as she continues to say, "You always make her feel so bad im it and that I am always bullying her." For one, I did NOT say how it looked on her at all and I said that but she wasn't listening and told me I can stay home if I was gonna be a bully and mental abuser. I want to say that I am not the best big sister but I am not the worst. I am just a human and there is some times of me not being a good human to my sister and not realizing it until a few hours later. I also never tried to give off the vibe that I was trying to say she looked bad. Everyone I am telling is saying I such've just let her where it but I don't know. So am I the Asshole?
Extra detail: This isn't the first time she has said things like this and called me things. I remember when I was younger and my sister was looking at my tablet which I didn't want to share so I went upstairs to go get her tablet, my mom crashed out and started screaming thst I am so mean to her for no reason when I all did was go upstairs and get it. My mom started apologizing to my sister and said "She wished she was born in a house where she had a nicer family", again not the first time she had said this.

I bought a 2014 Subaru Crosstrek XV about a week ago. While i was looking at the car everything seemed to check out. But I missed seeing a major problem.
I took it to the dealership to change the transmission fluid and they found oil in the radiator and are saying I have a head gasket leak. They quoted me $7,619...
It has 115k miles on the car. Is it worth to repair or to cut my losses. Please any advice would be welcomes

In ‘21 I purchased a Dodge charger scatpack at 49k msrp, 50k sale price, total ended up being $59k with taxes incl financed. 2% apr. $780/mo or so. Initial insurance was $280/mo. for full coverage. I’m in Florida.
Fast forward 3 years, the cars got an iffy record unfortunately. Stolen twice within 3 years and had to file claims, shot my insurance up to $450/mo. which I’m still okay with price wise.
Recently in November I ran over a small object on the road which damaged my front bumper. Not knowing what to do and taking my mothers immediate advice, I called insurance to file a claim… Big mistake. They added an ‘accident’ to my cars history, and on top of that they only had to pay out $215. The bumper repair was dirt cheap.
Now my term expired and I’m getting quoted a mininum of $700/mo. Insurance due to the ‘accident’ (as my agent mentioned) That’s ridiculous to me, my insurance is basically the same price as my car now due to my ignorance.
I’m currently lost on what to do. So far I took the car in for an appraisal, and the first dealership I went to I was offered 32k for it. Kbb offered 30k. It’s got 24k miles on it now. Still owe 32k on it as well so I’d be 0.
I was thinking of trading in the car for a random used or new one that’ll get me from point a to point b, until my insurance drops significantly, then getting into another fun car in the future. I really only drive for pleasure and drive about 8k miles/yr. Or biting the bullet for the next 6 months and seeing what happens to the price then… A friend of mine suggested switching to state minimum for a while although I don’t think that’s possible with a financed vehicle
Any and all suggestions are appreciated

Hi, I'm really struggling with the rear wheel on my Priority Classic Plus, and I'm hoping to get some guidance/advice. I got it ~7 months ago and it started popping spokes within 2 months. I lost three in the first batch, had multiple flats, and then it started losing 1-2 per week after that, always at the head, for a total of ~20 up to now. I've been replacing them with ones I bought on Amazon since, but it's not stopping the procession of brakes and flats. I contact Priority, they told me their bikes can only handle 175 lbs and only on roads without potholes, but they suggested I just have a whole new wheel built by a professional.
I went to my local shop, they quoted $400 (for one wheel on a bike that only cost $450 in the first place!) but this is how I get to work so 🤷‍♀️ I said yeah. On Saturday, May 18th, they said they'd have the wheel ready to install by Wednesday, May 22nd, then radio silence, I reached out on the 25th, they said they needed to order parts, I answered some questions, then radio silence, so I reached out this morning and they're like... we can't seem to find the hub for this wheel. They asked me tons of questions I have no ability to answer, other than by sending them the website for the Classic Plus, and then they offered me a refund.
I'm now searching on Google and I can't seem to find any Shimano Nexus 3 speed hubs for rim brakes. I really *really* have no idea about bikes, I just wanted a low maintenance bike to get to work, and this has been a time and money pit, and I'm in tears with frustration.
How do I make this bike work without having to get a degree in bike mechanics? Is it possible to buy a replacement hub? Should I take the refund to try to find another, more responsive shop? Can this be done without taking the bike out of commission during repairs, so I can still get to work? Is there a place with more detailed specifications about the Classic Plus? (I bought the wrong size spokes, I think, and don't know what's right.) Is there a good quality brand of spokes I should be buying, rather than the Amazon special? I bought a truing stand and tension meter, and have spent ~20 hours trying to get this right, but I think I'm just inept, should I just keep trying to make this work? How do you find a trust-worthy, responsive bike shop that won't ghost you for a week at a time? Is this bike just wrong for daily commuting on rough streets? Should I just replace the whole bike? How do you find a bike that lasts for more than a year?

Have a 19 Nissan Pro4X that has just over 33k miles. It sits in the garage when not driven, so no rust at all and looks like it has 7k miles on it as when I got the truck. I don’t like the offers from Carv. Or any of the online quotes. I don’t want to go through the hassle of letting random people drive the truck. Is it common that a dealer will buy your vehicle without a trade in? I’ve gotten letters in the mail before, but I figured the dealers just try to get you in there. Owe 20k on it. Would that be a better option or just keep the truck. Thanks for any advice.

TW: SA, SH, Alcoholism, Death
I just learned my father is sexually harassing my friend, and it’s brought up a lot of conflict due to his history and I don’t know how to process, let alone what to do.
Some backstory: Years ago, my father was convicted of SA against my best friend. Can't say some specifics due to this subs rules, but I think you can piece it together. My mother and father (parents have been separated basically my whole life) agreed not to tell me why he was suddenly missing. When I did find out, I was kept in the dark about a lot of it including who it was - maybe four years later I asked my mom "whatever happened to so and so" and found out. I was also told not to tell anyone at school and basically to shut up about it. I later learned this was due to some rules many schools have where I live about felon parents.
Anyway, it was a really dark time in my life before I even knew what happened. When I finally learned what he did, a year later, it took me a long time to even fully understand the situation. I just missed my dad. But he wasn’t the same, and to be honest I was afraid of him. I would keep in mind where the nearest phone was, lock my door at night, etc. I'm still extremely uncomfortable when he's drunk. In court, he blamed his actions on alcohol mixed with his medication (btw he never served time). Whenever I bought up what happened, he’d say what is there to talk about or he didn’t want to talk, which I understood, but I deserved that conversation. The few times we sorta talked, he said it was the biggest mistake of his life. Some part of me wanted to laugh and say "I sure hope so." Tbh I don't think he fully blames himself. I remember once he rolled his eyes at the MeToo movement and complained it made it hard to get a job (he had a job). Who knows.
To add to things, I never got a say in what happen next. They made me “make up” the lost time with my dad over two-ish years, so I saw him much more often than mom, while I was still internalizing everything. I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone until I graduated HS. I begged for therapy but didn’t get it for another three years. To quote my sobbing mom, “I hoped you would forget about it.”
After lots of therapy our relationship grew better. There's not a day I don't think of this period in my life, but I've accepted it. We play games together, watch tv, and have a surface level "normal" relationship.
Now some backstory on this week's episode. A different friend, we'll call her Mary(~67F), can be best described as a grandmother to me. She was my grandfather's right hand for a company they built together. 40 years of strong friendship and a prosperous financial business. I met her very young when I was visiting grandpa. Every year I'd come back and she'd have a gift. Mary is the sweetest most patient person I know. She's just one of those old souls who is the epitomy of joy. She was the face of the company and loved by all clients.
Last year, my grandfather died of cancer. It was a huge hit for her and my family. Mary probably knew him the best of anyone at the funeral, including my father, who ended up inheriting his company. My dad didn't really know Mary at all, and was maybe shocked to learn we were friends. Since my grandfather's passing we've become much closer and text frequently. She's truly a dear friend.
When my grandfather knew he didn't have much time left, he asked Mary to stay with the company. She hated him for that but always says that with a smile. It's hard for her to stay. My father, after much stress and thinking, decided to sell the company. He knows nothing about how to run it and honestly I thought that was the way to go too. Mary wanted to leave, but continues to work her ass off for this company. Now, of course, she's an advisor to my father.
A few days ago Mary told me my dad was sexually harassing her. She said he won't do important business unless she goes on a week trip to Vegas with him, saying he loves her, sending explicit photos, saying she's too cute to stop, etc. Just nasty, horrible things. I believe her 110%. Apperently they talked after attorneys were brought up and he said he would stop, but he ended with telling her to "repeat that part about spreading your legs" (referencing something she said about how he thought this made her feel).
I thought maybe my dad made one really huge mistake a long time ago and that this one mistake might not show what kind of a man he is, or maybe I just wanted to believe that. But now I'm not so sure. I want to barf and cry. I've spent so much time working through what he did, the depression, the hatred, the confusion. I'm insulted he could do this again. Has he no empathy or care in the world? I know this harassment isn't to the same extremes, but this is months and months of harassment. Not one mistake, hundreds, and seemingly without regret. And Mary is married, and my late grandfathers friend, and my friend. It's just so fucked. I feel I don't know if I know who my dad is. He is family, and he loves me, and I always thought he did his best, which is all I could ask for. These stories paint him in horrible lights, but many have said he's a great man. Being there, helping people financially, etc. There's a reason I was able to build back our relationship. But now I just don't know what to do.
Any advice or thoughts? Should I keep this to myself? Accept my dad is human? Should I confront him? Thanks for reading, and take care of yourself this weekend.
Tldr: My dad, a convicted sex offender, whom I've been able to rebuild a relationship with has been sexually harassing my old friend for months. Help.