TW: CSA, SI
TL;DR: Some bitches simply can't be trusted but some formerly bitch families can maybe make some growth? WUT.
I'd (30sf) lived with my roommate (30sf) for a decade and known her for even longer. I disclosed to her 1.5 yrs ago, after integrating EMDR into a VERY long CPTSD healing process early in the pandemic. She was so, so kind and understanding in the beginning. We'd been best friends for so long, that I genuinely feared calling her family, because family has such negative connotations for me, but lately, I was finally saying it more often.
Since the start of this year, my EMDR has primarily focused on the peak of my suicidal ideation and how it's entangled with my sibling-on-sibling CSA. It has been a rough and exhausting effort, but all things considered, I'm actually "doing" quite well, as much as one can under such conditions. I'd started FMLA leave from work because, SUPRISE, trauma causes lifelong physical ailments and chronic illnesses, and my roommate had reassured me we'd be re-signing the lease that we had less than a month left on, so I would at least not have to worry about housing.
I had one bad night. One bad night of zero sleep, fighting off the nightmares for the thousandth time, begging and pleading to just finally rest, and that's all it took. I called her out the next day over leaving her two-day old dish full of thawed chicken water in the microwave, and finally broke. I know I said a lot of delusion shit (that I immediately-and repeatedly-apologized for for days after, after I'd regained my compusure/grip on reality), but we discussed it for days after and scheduled a therapy session for as soon as we could get one to figure out what went wrong in our communication that night.
She couldn't even wait that long. After a week of the silent treatment (partially because she got mad at me for asking her to mask up while I was on medical leave--while she had active COVID, for the 4th time--and was still going out because she "had plans"), she started a fight with me out of nowhere, broke me down into a fully blown flashback, and then literally ran away from my weeping (which I have done--outside of a therapeutic setting--exactly 3x since my diagnosis). Then she came back the next afternoon (while I was literally in the process of hanging pictures we'd bought ages ago) saying she wouldn't be re-signing the lease. It wasn't even a discussion. She just decided and that was that, no matter how stunned I looked, how much I sobbed and shook, or the fact that I am unpaid right now, see some new specialist t every other day for this shattered brain or broken body, of the fact that we live in HCOL city where, even if I was working, I wouldn't be able to afford somewhere solo.
But the worst part? During her monologue, she tried to claim I had somehow blamed her for my CSA during my trauma tantrum from a couple weeks earlier.. Now I know in general, my shortterm memory has been fucked by the EMDR crossing-the-timelines mindfuckery, but I know myself damn well enough to know I did not and would never place the the blame on her, because why even in the actual hell would I? Folks, this woman used to be a public prosecutor assigned to the children's sexual abuse unit. You can't make this shit up.
And if that weren't all bad enough, in my immediate panic, I had nowehere left to turn, so I had to call my family for help, and because I had to explain why I wasn't working and undergoing all sorts of medical procedures, and after YEARS of So. Much. Fucking. "HEALING." I just gave it all up. Told my parents for the first time. Told my brother, my primary abuser, for the first time. (He'd admitted many times over our adult years that he blacked a lot of his/our childhood out, and I have always believed him, because he was likely abused himself by someone else first.) He apologized. Profusely. And even agreed to start therapy. My parents apologized, in their own way, by promising to help with rent. Of all the things. Of all the fucking things...I wasn't expecting that. While part/a lot of me is cautious to accept any sort of help from them (because obvie), I am genuinely impressed, and grateful, that they are at least pulling through on this one.
It's been a confusing few weeks and people are complex.

Apologies for the long post, please bear with me. I'm really scared and confused and not sure what to do and any/all advice is appropriated.
My bf of five years and I are currently long distance but were in the planning stages of moving in together sometime this year or early next year. Around 10 days ago, he proposed the idea of maybe exploring sexual non monogamy together, and said that he'd been wondering what he really wanted in life. My initial response was bad and I own up to that and Im making a notable effort to do better. We eventually decided to compromise and say that flirting and sexting were ok, but we'd prioritize each other and wait until we're stably in person before exploring physical intimacy with other people.
The days after that, there was some tension between us, but despite my best efforts to do better and work through my paranoia, it kept feeling like he was keeping me at arms length. When asked, he would say that he kust didnt know what he wanted with his life, and he was uncertain about everything, including me. He emphasized that it wasnt anything i did, just that its something he'd been thinking about for a while. Despite this, over text he seemed to go through the motions of talking with me like his boyfriend and calling me pet names and whatnot.
I sought verbal reassurance and reaffirmation since the uncertainty of the situstion frightened me immensely. In passing, i asked "hey do you like being my boyfriend" and that caused him to just say "i dont know" and just shut down a bit. After a lot of discussion, my bf said that he just doesnt know whats going on anymore in life, and that he'd had some experiences with people asking him if he was truly happy and what he wanted to do with life. Again he emphasized that it was him and not me that was the cause of anything, but suggested maybe we should take a break while he navigates this. However, he still would like me around as his best friend.
However, we seem to have hit a wall with what a break actually looks like. I considered that we set a time frame, and are just taking time away from each other romantically to reflect and recoup, but he seems to want to do that, and also freely go on dates with other people. I would be ok with this with the condition that we plan to come back to each other, but he doesnt seem to want that. In his words, he sees a break as not being in a romantic relationship until circumstances improve and then we can reevaluate if we want to be together.
Where Im personally stuck is that I'm still in love with him, but he doesnt know what he's feeling. My heart has been shattered into a million pieces and I'm scared to take a chance on this break since its not certain that he'll want me again. I'm scared to be just his friend, i don't want that.
In a lot of ways I feel like things are stacked against me. I wanted to pursue other options like couples counseling or other support before just being friends, but he was worried about hurting me in his self discovery process. He was adamant that he wants me to be prominent in his life but i dont know that my heart can take it.
I'm in love with him and I just want things to go back to the way they were but my bf doesn't know what he wants, and also saif that he thought returning to that would be untenable, and to me seems like he doesnt want to even try to mend it.
I'm scared, and I'm confused and I don't want to just be his friend. Im haunted by songs that we shared that are our songs, and games that we played together and special memories different things illicit. Due to circumstances, its been nearly 2 years since we've seen each other in person, and the timeframe for the break is until we can see each other in person again, but I'm scared even if he sees me in person, there might just not be a spark. I'm also scared that if he dates while on break, he might just find someone better and just toss me aside..
Apologies again for the long story, and thank you if you read all the way here...

TW: Mention of suicide, mention of rape, mention of alcohol abuse. Tagged NSFW because of that.
For context, I'm 15 years old and live with my parents. For the entirety of my life, my mom has been an on-and-off alcoholic with a victim complex. It feels like walking on egg shells whenever she's around and drunk. She lies about everything. For example, accusing my step-dad of abuse multiple times when they get into VERBAL arguments, accusing my step-dad of molesting me because I, "chose him over her", saying she'll kill herself if I argue with her and making me lie to the cops because she didn't want me to leave her.
However, she was in recovery from her alcohol addiction for half a year and was doing better. We'd watch shows together everyday with my brother, laughing and making popcorn; just having a good time. Then she'd start drinking again and we'd return back to how we always were. Although we've had far more bad memories than good ones, I still love her, and somewhere in my heart, I believe she'll get better and we'll finally have a normal relationship. It's like every bit of hate I have for her, I have ten times more love. Is this normal? Why do I love her even after everything?

Hi.
I wanted to share my grandfathers story.
My grandfather suffered a cerebral aneurysm in 1969, he was 52 years old. He was paralyzed on the left side of his body. The Drs told my grandmother that if he would do PT, he could possibly regain usage. My grandfather was so down, he would not do the PT. I think money has something to do with it also.
He was in a wheelchair. He had 7 children and my father was 12 when it happened.
He went on to live another 32 years. I was born 7 years after it happened. By then, he was pretty independent.
I have many memories of and with him. I even stayed alone with him many times, not to care for him though. Actually, he cared for me. Sometimes I'd hand him things but the house was accessible for him. He taught me many things and we'd talk for hours.
I never really thought of him as disabled. Although, there were times when we were in public and people would stare. I was extremely protective of him and I'd get in trouble for saying "what are YOU looking at?"
He thought it was funny. I'd ride on the back of his wheelchair and play in his wheelchair when he was lying down for naps. He was one of the most amazing and courageous men I've ever known.
He stayed by himself while my grandmother worked or ran errands. He was very, very funny and always argued that he could drive again if someone would just help him get in the driver's seat.
I say all of this because I only recently realized how rare it was that someone, especially back then, survived an aneurysm.
I don't know if you've suffered one or know someone that has. I just wanted to say, life is possible. Recovery is possible. Even if you are left disabled, life can still be extraordinary. My grandfather went on to see me born, to see me grow and was there on my wedding day.
I owe who I am to that man. If he had given up, idk where I'd be now.
Don't give up. If my grandpa can do it, so can you. You can still impact the world and even be the reason someone has wonderful memories.
God, I miss that old man.

Since the past 3 months i have noticed some weirdness happening when i was playing Overwatch 2, my aim randomly stops responding for a brief second and suddenly all movements that i did when it freezed are put into the game, causing the aim go crazy and i cant control anymore, also, when this happen, the RGB keeps stuck in one color.
Until last week this problem was very rare, and most of the time only occurs for 1 time per day at maximum, some days doesn't happen at all, but from last week to today it became much more commom, happening many times in just one match, becoming unplayable, at first, i think maybe was my graphics driver, since i updated the driver last week, i tried to reverse the driver, unnistall the current driver with DDU, install the previous one, but the problem persists, then, i tried change some game configurations, disable Radeon Anti Lag, cap my FPS to 144, turn off HDR, change game quality to low, nothing seems to fix the issue, then i tried change the mouse USB port to a chipset powered USB, nothing, still lags, then i was fed up, i was convinced that the problem is my Windows instalation, since i use my PC to work too (i have a lot of programming softwares, VMs, a lot of software) i think: "maybe is just my Windows doing weird things due to excess of installed crap".
Then i decided to format my SSD and do a clean Windows install, and after everything installed and configured, for my surprise, the lag is back, but worse this time, it lags every 10 seconds, is completely unplayable, and after almost give up and disassemble the entire PC to diagnose every component separately, i thinked: "everything on the game keep running fine when it lags, sound, allies, enemies, the network status stays normal, so it must be something related to mouse, maybe some firmware problem", then i started digging into G Hub and the i decided to apply my profile to the mouse internal memory and turn off G hub control over the mouse, and then, EVERYTHING WORKED PERFECTLY, no more lags, the mouse works fine for almost 2 hours without any issue, even the RGB stays perfectly fine.
So, the problem is, in fact, the DAMN G HUB, and thinking about it, it makes sense, since Microsoft announced the Dinamic Lightning Control in Windows and Logitech released the update to G HUB to support it, my peripherals starting acting weird sometimes. So, i hope this post can reach to someone at Logitech software team, so they can work in a permanent fix for this problem.
Also, if you having similar problems with your Logitech mouse, try copy your user profile to the internal memory and disable G Hub control over your peripherals. Maybe this will fix the problem for you too.
I love my G502 Hero, and have this problem with G Hub is a bummer, but since i discovered a temporary fix, i'll keeping using him until he dies and i'll be forced to buy a G502X, LOL.

I had the Mario Paint game on SNES as a kid. It was from the UK so would have been PAL version.
To cut things short, I think you need to have some saved images in the game. Then at the title screen, we used to try and connect a second controller to the second controller port (mouse was in controller port one). Sometimes - when we wriggled the 2nd controller connector in 2nd port socket, at the Mario Paint intro screen, we could trigger a "please wait" screen, and it would be followed by a preview of images, one of which was an image I had saved in the game.
I've not seen any mention of this, and no longer have easy access to the SNES, but... I'd love to understand what the heck was happening there, and am so surprised to see no reference of this anywhere online. Does no one recall this.. ?! Starting to wonder if we stumbled on something?!
I'd love to hear if anyone else saw this easter egg/hidden function/normal function in Mario Paint that I can't see documented anywhere online - mostly because it was when I was maybe 5 years old, and I barely remember it fully. If it is unknown to folks, I hope it's useful to anyone interested!
The backstory is - my brother and I were super young and managed to trigger the screen in this way while we were bored. The screen would say "please wait". For whatever reason we were always scared by the abrupt way it popped up "please wait" and how we triggered it by wriggling the second controller connector in the port when connecting it, so we'd just turn the console off and not wait. It became a kind of creepy thing we wouldn't want to go past.
But one day our uncle was round and he wanted to see it. And that's when we actually waited ... but I barely remember what happened. From memory, it started an image preview of stuff saved on the cartridge in a presentation format..
Anyone that has any info - I'd love to know more after so much time. It's something of a legend from my childhood at this stage!

I say "apparently" because... well... you'll see.
This happened decades ago now, back in primary school. I only remembered it because I was recently catching up with old friends from back then, and we got to laughing over old stories and then someone mentioned, "The wildest was when you organised that whole protest against our teacher."
"The time I did what?"
The consensus was I did, indeed, organise the entire class to rebel against our teacher that resulted in her being deposed and our class getting a "substitute" for the rest of the year. I almost fell out of my chair hearing this story from their mouths. It wasn't that I didn't remember it, of course I did--that year was awful. It was just that it existed very differently in my memory.
Two important pieces of background knowledge to understand here:

1. I went to a very very small, very very rural school. How small? Each classroom was composed of the entire year level, and the largest had at most 30 kids in them. My class/year level was on the smallest in the entire school, with a piddling 14 kids in it altogether. While we still had our cliques and factions, our small size caused our class to be very tight knit and protective of each other. How rural? The school building itself was incredibly small, but one thing we were not short on was gigantic empty fields surrounding us on all sides. Great for sports, great for (it turns out) student protests.
2. I was, at the time, undiagnosed autistic. I mean I still am autistic, I'm just formally diagnosed now. But back then I was just seen as being a very quirky kid. One of the ways this quirkiness manifested was that I really had trouble adapting to the rules and structure of grade school and how it differed from what I was used to. At home if I wanted to pee, I just went to the toilet. Now I have to put my hand up? Now I have to ask permission to piss? Then I went home and put my hand up to ask my mom for permission to pee and she told me I didn't need to! Madness! Chaos! I don't care what the rules are, please just be consistent!

But one of the main parts of my brain and the way it works is that sometimes my brain, separate from my will, would just make a decision about a course of action and I would very calmly commit to it come hell or high water. Like, it is vitally important that I stay true to this course of action. I can't explain it. It's like I set a rule for myself and if something disrupts that, I just shut down and stop functioning.
So when the school said, "Okay, when this bell rings during recess/lunch, that means you have to leave the playground and go back to class", I was a confused child already struggling with all these completely nonsensical limitations and guidelines imposed on me. So when that bell rang, I got that calm little voice in my head that said, "Hmm, no, I'm good out here actually. I don't think I will go back into class." So I would just continue to sit out on the playground, playing with my plastic spider toys or sitting on the swing. Teachers would realise what was going on and come out to get me and tell me I have to go back to class, and I would just very calmly hear them out and then smile at them and politely as possible tell them, "No thank you, I want to stay out here."
They really didn't know what to do with me. I wasn't getting upset, I wasn't throwing a tantrum, I wasn't yelling, I wasn't being rude in any way. I was incredibly docile and would let them explain things to me with endless patience and then just politely refute them and go back to what I was doing, like this was just a very normal and reasonable negotiation between two equal parties. I have memories of sitting on the swing while three very confused and flustered adult staff huddled around me trying to bribe me with candy to go back to class. It would take a whole lesson block to lure me back to the classroom, and then at lunch the whole thing would start over again. It took me three years at school to finally accept the status quo thanks to a religious nutter I got for a teacher, and finally went back to class when the bell rang (was never happy about it though).
I eventually settled into school life. Excelled at subjects I liked, at least passed subjects I didn't, followed the rules, was seen as intelligent and obedient and was often liked by my teachers. Until my final year, when we got the teacher I can only rudely monniker Mrs Bigmouth.
Mrs Bigmouth should not have been a teacher. She had a trigger temper and would explode into long, verbally abusive tirades against us if we ever did anything she felt was disrespectful behaviour. What was disrespectful behaviour? Damned if I know. It changed day by day, depending on mood. You could disrespect her to her face one day and she'd laugh and say you have such razor wit, and politely ask a question the next and she'd scream at you for ten nonstop minutes then give you a week of DT for talking back. The absolute peak moment of her boiling temper came when she threw a dictionary at a girl's head because she was whispering to me in class. When I tell you it missed her by half an inch...
But believe it or not, this wasn't what made her such an awful teacher. It was so hard to get teachers at rural schools back then, there was almost nothing you could do to get fired, so we had experience with teachers with nightmare tempers. What made her such an issue was her big mouth. She used us, her trapped audience, as free therapy. She would infodump, traumadump, about her very personal, very private life to us. All day. She'd be two words into a spelling list and launch into an extended story session about her marital issues with her husband. We'd be heads down doing fractions and, unprompted, she'd declare to the class that her adult daughter no longer talks to her and then diatribe to us about it until the bell rang. She had money issues, a contentious relationship with her parents, her marriage was on the rocks. She once pulled me aside after school and spoke with me, at length, about how she was thinking of having another child to try to repair her marriage. I was like, okay lady, I'm 11, about to miss my bus, and my house is a 4 hour walk on foot from here.
We weren't learning. We'd hadn't had a complete lesson since the first week of the school year. We were behind on the cirriculum and frustrated. One kid had brought a stopwatch into school and would time lessons vs her monologues and kept detailed lists, and we would come to school each morning and do betting pools on them. What subject would she interrupt, what would she talk about, and how long would it go.
But all that still wasn't the breaking point if you can believe it. No! Still not! The problem was it wasn't just her own private life she couldn't keep her mouth shut about. It was everyone else's. Because parents would make the reasonable assumption that she should be told things as our class teacher that would be important to know, and that she would understand these things were said in confidence. Instead she would veer randomly off in the middle of talking to us about her horrible weekend to let us know whatever private or traumatic thing was going on in a classmate's life that she had been made aware of. That was awful. That was what made that year hell. It wasn't even about when my secrets were shared with the entire class against my consent. It was watching the faces of my small, lovely, supportive class of 11 year old children go pale and scrunch up with held-back tears as things they never wanted to share were announced like morning news. God we hated her.
Then one day that voice came. The one I hadn't heard in years. The bell ring to go back into class and that voice said, "But I don't want to be in that classroom. I'm not even being taught there." So I just... didn't. I didn't go back to class. I just sat in the playground in a daze eating grass (don't eat grass, it's not good for your teeth). Despite how small my class was, I don't think Mrs Bigmouth even noticed I wasn't there. Others did though. Come lunch and everyone came out, my friends asked me where I was and I said, "Oh, I didn't go back to class."
"Why didn't you go back to class?"
"Why would I go back to class?"
Lightbulb moment for my schoolmates. Yeah, why would they go back to class? What was the point? From a practical standpoint, they weren't learning. From an emotional standpoint, it was horrible to be there. A friend who had had her family's dirty laundry aired to the entire class just last week, things even she didn't know because her parents tried to keep it from her, asked if she could sit with me rather than go back to class. I just stared at her, vacant and confused.
"Sure? I mean, I'm just eating grass though."
Over the next few days, two kids turned into four, turned into ten, turned into the whole class. The whole class was doing a sit-out protest on the field rather than go back to class. Of course Mrs Bigmouth tried to do something about it. She'd come out, screaming at us and threatening us with DT and internal suspension, but six months of that behaviour had totally vaccinated us against her. I'd become the de facto leader and spokesperson of the protest by merit of being the first to sit out and also because I was well known to not give a shit (autistic brain: I actually just frequently had trouble reading and reacting with the correct social behaviour but it gave me a cool and aloof bad boy mystique I guess). I gave her the exact same treatment from back in grade one. I would let her scream, let her holler, let her threaten, let her spittle rain down on me, and then I would give her a sweet and innocent smile and nod in acknowledgement and say, "No thank you, we're going to remain out here." And thirteen pairs of eyes would stare at her in total silence. No one, not even the most gobbermouthed little shite in the class, would volunteer a word. The unspoken agreement was all negotiations were my responsibility.
The thing about angry people is that they feed off conflict. They get you angry so they can respond with even more anger and it nourishes them. She had no absolutely no plan of action on how to deal with me patiently hearing her out then refuting her in the gentlest of terms.
Another thing that ended up helping down the line is that we made an attempt to conduct our own classes. I mean, they sucked and we didn't learn much because we were kids with no supervision, but it was really cute in retrospect. We'd have groups of people assigned to subjects, with some people bringing in words they found in a dictionary for spelling lists and others bringing in old 6th grade homework from older siblings. The heart was there and it served a purpose, if not educational.
"Okay, but how did no one else notice this was happening? Surely people would notice 14 kids sitting on the lawn, not in class?"
Rural school. Big. Empty. Fields. Even screaming at us, the most other classrooms would hear would be muffled voices, and everyone was used to hearing her yelling at us or taking us out onto the field abruptly to make us do laps as group punishment. Plus the way the school buildings were arranged was that it was actually all in one straight line of adjacent rooms, and ours happened to be at the very end of the building. No windows faced the field we all sat in except that of our own classroom. It was just a very lucky arrangement of coincidences and preconceived notions, at least for a couple weeks. I couldn't tell you the exact number, this was so long ago and as a kid I definitely had a more stretched idea of time. Minutes felt like hours, especially during that year. But there was definitely at least two weekends that passed by since the "sit-out protest" started.
Eventually someone cottoned on to what was happening, or maybe Mrs Bigmouth humbled herself and finally confessed to her boss that she had lost control of a bunch of 11-year-olds, so we were called into the principal's office to sort this out. As the representative of our class, I was of course chosen to attend the meeting, flanked by the girl who'd had the dictionary thrown at her head and my friend who was the first to sit out with me. Since I understood that this meeting was one where we were probably going to be yelled at for doing the wrong thing, a thing I had ample experience of, I felt like the easiest way to mitigate things (especially since I felt guilty for being the instigator) was to explain in a very rational and logical way the series of events that led up to our bad behaviour. As well, for my entire life my mother had always taught me that it was no good complaining about things unless you were also willing to think of solutions. "I'm hungry!" - "Well, what's a solution to that problem?" - "Uh, make myself a sandwich?" - "Great! Let's do that together!"
So what did I do? Of course, to make things as clean and concise as possible, I interviewed my class one by one to hear each individual story of why they didn't feel comfortable going to class anymore, itemised them under categories (Verbal Aggression; Interruptions of Lessons; Oversharing Student Life) for easier discussion because my little quirky brain loved itemising things, and then as a kind of olive branch came up with solutions (we wanted to finish lessons unhindered, we wanted our personal privacy to be respected, we wanted to be able to catch our bus on time rather than being held back with unfair DT or long "chats"). So many things sort of came together in this beautiful, wholly accidental way. We had months of records of timed rants and monologues, noted down to the millisecond thanks to that kid's stopwatch. We had records of us trying to teach ourselves during the protests, showing this wasn't us just not wanting to go to class but due to us feeling as though we did not have a class to go to. When the principal heard all this, her jaw it the floor. A lot of it was stuff she knew, peripherally, but things had just never been laid out so neatly before. Some of it was stuff we'd complained to parents about, but it was one kid coming home and telling one parent one time, weeks ago. There was no real sense, up until now, the sheer scope of her behaviour. She didn't even answer us. She just said, "Okay, I need to call your parents."
We got the rest of the week off school. That weekend, every parent of every student came to a meeting between them, Mrs Bigmouth, and the principal. Stories were swapped. My exercise book with my tidy little lists and the records of the betting pool and monologue times were confiscated and brought into the meeting. I don't know what went down, but when my mother came home she just told me that Mrs Bigmouth would not be our problem for the rest of the school year, and more importantly, that she was incredibly proud of me and that I did the right thing. Rarely in my childhood had my inability to integrate into normal society led me to doing the right thing, so I just remember crying and hugging and feeling vindicated about, I don't know, just existing or something.
So yeah. From the outside perspective here is what it looked like: I, the ringleader with a history of dismissing school rules, organised a sit-out strike amongst my class. I kept the protest peaceful and non-disruptive to other classes. When negotiations with the principal were finally arranged, as the representative I compiled a clear list of greivances, with evidence, and a list of reasonable demands. I mean, holy crap, yes, yes I clearly organised a student protest.
The actual results of it are mixed. We got a revolving door of substitute teachers of varying quality for the rest of the school year, occasionally being bundled into other classrooms entirely when they couldn't find someone. It wasn't a great learning environment and we continued to struggle a lot, but it was better than before. Mrs Bigmouth was not actually fired but put on leave for the rest of the school year, then returned and was put in charge of a different year level (which happened to be the class of the younger sister of a guy in my class: according to him, she was quiet as a church mouse that entire year so I hope at least she learned her lesson, or at least finally got divorced and went to actual therapy). The entire ordeal caused our already small and close class to become really really supportive and like family to each other and we all remain in touch until this day. And we became fierce about standing up for ourselves.
I kind of learned to parse the difference between when it was appropriate to go along with set societal rules even if I don't understand them, and when those rules were just straight up unreasonable and nobody should be required to follow them. I did, years alter, lead an actual (very small) strike at work but intentionally that time. My mother was proud of me then too. :)

Exploration of an Innovative K-12 School Curriculum and Pedagogical Approaches
Before going over the curriculum we must first discuss how to best teach. All of the following methods outlined below are what would I would suggest be use to teach the students trying to use just one or even just two of these would not be enough and would compromise the students learning and education
Teaching Methods
Project-Based Learning (PBL): In PBL, students work on a project over an extended period, which could be a week or a month, to respond to a complex question, problem, or challenge. The projects are usually multi-disciplinary and require students to apply what they've learned in a practical manner. This allows them to see the immediate applicability of their learning.
Inquiry-Based Learning: This is a form of active learning that starts by posing questions, problems, or scenarios—rather than simply presenting established facts or portraying a smooth path to knowledge. Students are involved in the construction of their learning. They engage with the material, participate in the class, and collaborate with each other.
Gamification: Incorporating elements of game design in education can make learning fun and engaging. This can involve point systems, leaderboards, badges, or other game mechanics.
Experiential Learning: This method involves learning by doing and reflecting on the experience. It can include internships, study abroad programs, field trips, laboratory experiments, or any other hands-on learning experiences.
Flipped Classroom: In a flipped classroom, students review lecture materials at home and do their 'homework' in class, where they can ask for help as they practice new skills and apply new knowledge. This allows teachers to spend class time helping students apply what they've learned and coaching them as they work through challenges.
Cross-Disciplinary Projects: By integrating different disciplines into a single project, you can make the learning experience more holistic and interconnected, much like how the knowledge of different magical disciplines would combine in a fantasy setting.
Competency-Based Learning: In this educational model, students advance upon mastering a skill or a competency. This encourages active utilization of knowledge and immediate feedback, similar to how a magic student might advance only after successfully casting a particular spell.
Now that we have given a basic outline of the teaching styles we can go over the curriculum for K-12 the idea would be to Have an A/B day schedule and some classes would meet less frequently because they don't take much time to cover everything, all of this will be done in order to create well rounded students, people and citizens. They are not only creative in nature, but leaders in their own right as well as capable of doing whatever they desire and succeeding wildly
Core Curriculum Classes:
STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Art, Mathematics): must Ensure these subjects are covered both within the integrated curriculum (like coding in math, cooking in science, history in art, etc.) and as standalone classes to develop depth of knowledge.
Memory Techniques & Knowledge Management Techniques: Using an Integrated code based system with AI tools to help teacher track progress and provide more targeted assistance as well as help students with how to effectively organize and manage knowledge, covering basic note-taking, the PARA/CODE system. Using AI to provide semi interactive sessions that not only explain how memory works but also actively encourage the practice of using the note taking method & memory techniques
Project-Based Learning: Encourage practical application of knowledge through project-based learning. Gamification & Experiential Learning: Use these techniques to make learning more engaging and fun.
Flipped Classroom & Inquiry-Based Learning: Encourage independent learning and critical thinking through these teaching methods.
Elementary School: Coding & Digital Literacy: Introduce basic coding principles using visual coding platforms. Begin teaching about online safety and basic cybersecurity. Financial Literacy: Teach basic concepts like the value of money, saving, and spending. Potential to introduce the use of real currency and creating student based economy Community Service: Arrange class-based community projects and encourage involvement in community service outside of school. Gardening & Cooking: Teach students about plants, nutrition, and basic cooking skills through a school garden. Literacy & Reading: Develop a reading program that exposes students to a variety of genres. Writing can begin with simple sentences. History: Teach history from a holistic and critical perspective, exploring different cultures and perspectives. Basic Medicine & First Aid: Introduce simple health, hygiene, and basic first aid skills. Physical Education: Encourage a love for physical activity through a variety of engaging games. Emotional Regulation & Healthy Relationships with Technology: Incorporate social-emotional learning and healthy technology use. Leadership: Begin fostering leadership qualities through group activities and responsibility sharing. Self-Defense: Introduce basic safety rules and personal boundaries. Spanish: Introduce basic Spanish vocabulary and phrases, along with exposure to the culture of Spanish-speaking countries. Songs, games, and interactive activities can be used to make learning enjoyable.
Middle School: Coding, Digital Literacy & Practical Engineering: Continue coding education and introduce robotics and basic electronics. Financial Literacy: Start teaching about budgeting, banking, and simple concepts of earning. Potential to introduce the use of real currency and creating student based economy Community Service: Encourage students to plan and lead community service projects, either in groups or individually. Gardening & Cooking: Progress in gardening and cooking skills, introducing sustainability issues. Literacy, Reading, & Writing Skills: Increase complexity of reading and writing assignments. History: Provide more in-depth history education using primary sources and interpretations. Basic Medicine & First Aid: Offer a more detailed course on first aid and health. Physical Education: Introduce a range of physical activities, sports, and body awareness topics. Emotional Regulation & Healthy Relationships with Technology: Develop emotional intelligence skills, mindfulness practices, and education about responsible technology use. Leadership: Teach various leadership styles and emphasize group projects requiring delegation and decision-making. Self-Defense: Continue with more practical self-defense techniques. Study of Government: Begin a foundational study of the local and national government. Teach students about the branches of government, their roles, and how laws are made. Spanish: Continue to build on vocabulary and grammar learned in elementary school. Introduce simple written exercises and encourage basic conversation in Spanish.
High School: Coding, Digital Literacy & Practical Engineering: Offer advanced coding and practical engineering classes, including topics like 3D modeling and advanced electronics.Teach more advanced cybersecurity concepts and ethics of digital communication Gardening & Cooking: As elective courses, delve into advanced topics like food science or agricultural technology. Literacy, Reading, & Writing Skills: Offer a variety of literature courses, creative writing classes, and research-based writing. History: Teach history as a dynamic and interpretive subject, encouraging critical thinking. Basic Medicine & First Aid: Include more advanced first aid, mental health awareness, and basic human anatomy and physiology. Physical Education: Offer a range of athletic options, and include education about exercise science and long-term health benefits. Emotional Regulation & Healthy Relationships with Technology: Provide resources for emotional regulation, advanced mindfulness techniques, and in-depth discussions about technology's role in society. Leadership: Delve deeper into conflict resolution, strategic planning, and ethical leadership, often through real-world applications. Financial Literacy: Start teaching about budgeting, banking, and simple concepts of earning. Potential to encourage student to start their own business or get a job and have students buy things from each other Self-Defense/Mixed Martial Arts: For interested students, offer elective classes in mixed martial arts, fostering physical and mental skills. Study of Government: Expand on knowledge from middle school and introduce international government systems. Discuss the concepts of democracy, socialism, and other forms of government. Involve students in mock debates and simulations, like Model United Nations or Mock Parliament. Study of Politics: Begin a course on political science, covering key political ideologies, parties, and political processes. Discuss current events and involve students in debates and discussions to encourage critical thinking. Creating Change: Introduce a course on social activism and creating change. This can involve studying historical movements for change, understanding how to effect change within a legal framework, learning about peaceful protest, and planning and implementing a small-scale change project within the school or community. Spanish: Continue to deepen knowledge of Spanish. Encourage advanced conversation and written exercises. Students could read Spanish literature or news and discuss in class, fostering language skills and cultural understanding.
This kind of curriculum would be nearly the best, being interdisciplinary, hands-on, and centered around the interests and needs of the students. It would aim to not only equip students with the knowledge and skills they need to succeed in the world, but also ignite their passion for learning and encourage them to continue learning throughout their lives.
But before we’re done one last thing must be covered. How to assess a student's growth because science shows that paper tests are not suited for the task. There are many innovative ways to assess student understanding and skills without relying solely on traditional exams. The methods that could be used include Assessment Methods
Portfolios: Students could compile portfolios of their work, which could include code they've written, projects they've completed, or essays they've written. A portfolio allows students to demonstrate their learning process, their progress over time, and their ability to apply what they've learned in different contexts.
Presentations: Students can demonstrate their understanding of a topic by presenting on it. This could involve presenting a project they've completed, explaining a concept to the class, or debating a topic with classmates.
Peer and Self-Assessment: Students can learn a lot from assessing each other's work or their own work. This can help them develop a better understanding of the assessment criteria and improve their ability to critically evaluate work.
Performance Assessment: In subjects like self-defense, physical education, cooking, or gardening, students could be assessed based on their performance. This could involve demonstrating a technique, completing a task, or participating in a game or competition.
Reflective Journals: Students could maintain journals where they reflect on what they've learned, how they've applied it, and what they still want to understand better. This can give teachers insight into a student's thought process and their understanding of the subject.
Project-Based Assessment: Students can be assessed on the projects they complete, whether individually or in groups. This allows students to demonstrate a range of skills, including knowledge of the subject, problem-solving, creativity, and teamwork.
Community Service Assessment: In addition to the other assessments, teachers can assess students' community service involvement, their planning and leadership skills, as well as their reflections on their experiences.
The emphasis of Knowledge Management Techniques and Memory Techniques in core classes as a standalone session every day would ideally give students a break from traditional instruction and allow them to process and manage their learnings. This can be in the form of group discussions, independent reflection time, or guided activities for planning and organizing their work.

So, since about 2019, I've been trying to access a world my friend and I used to play on. The world was on bedrock version 1.14-something (I don't remember which version of 1.14). I hosted the world on my old laptop, made a backup file, and saved it on a drive. Now, I had wiped the PC clean to hand off to my brother (cause I got a new laptop), but at the time, I hadn't updated the world to the newer version. So, I had a previous version that couldn't be imported into the newer version of Minecraft (which was still around 1.14 at the time).
I tried a few things (like file convert to .zip) and gave up trying. Fast-forward to 2022, I went at it again. I looked up multiple videos and read through forums to try to find ways to convert my world to the current version at the time (1.19). I primarily encountered programs like Chunker, Amulet, and UMT (Universal Minecraft Tool). For some reason, an error would occur every time I tried uploading it. It could be that the file is corrupted. Recently, I found a program made by MCMrARM on GitHub that allows you to return to previous Bedrock versions. I picked out every 1.14 version (except the betas), which still couldn't be uploaded. The error message would say, "Level Import Failed."
At this point, I don't know what to do. I might just be left to reminisce about the first world I played on with my friend. For me, it's very nostalgic, and we made a lot of memories in that world. Please let me know if anybody has an idea or can help pinpoint the issue. I'll also leave a link to MCMrARM's version launcher (https://github.com/MCMrARM/mc-w10-version-launchereleases/tag/0.1.0).
https://preview.redd.it/h9q9o1o4ma1d1.png?width=759&format=png&auto=webp&s=bb784a07beb0ee799688cb0060c2005ee6431e97
https://preview.redd.it/qn94f2o4ma1d1.png?width=1838&format=png&auto=webp&s=42f073ef1493eb6083d216e704e624c5d7ab1a9a

The moment a lot of you have been waiting for is here!
A couple of notes before you read (or after because I would just jump into the list right away too)

1. Direct quotes from Ali herself are in italics.
2. I tried my best to keep everything in timeline order. Some people like The Come Back Kid I placed in the order where they reconnected/talked about on the pod. But I did my best to note this.
3. All this information came from the FMH podcast, the Patreon, the original FMH blog, TikTok and other podcast that feature FMH/Ali. I also crossed reference information with this sub. I got most of this done with the help of the Patreon and listening to 1.75x speed but I lost accessed to the Patreon because my subscription ended.
4. I'm open to edits! Things around the matchmaker era confused me and if anything is incorrect or if I'm missing someone, please let me know! I will note where corrections are made.
5. Some people don't have anything simply because only a name was said or I couldn't find any details about the person/date
6. And of course, please be respectful of all the sub rules!

Names on the original FMH blog

• Mr. Adorable aka The Coach
• Trouble
• Waffles
• Future Husband Brian (FHB)
• Cookie
• Peter Pan
• Ambiguous Goodbye Guy
• Bad Bitch Man

AOL chatroom Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok and on the pod once
Myspace Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok
Third Boyfriend
Met on eCrush.com in 2002 and this was mentioned on the Cracked Up podcast, The Dave Glaser Podcast and Tiktok
The Kiwi
Met on a 2 week Model UN type youth trip in high school when Ali was 15, never a boyfriend but she had a huge crush on him, he tried to kiss Ali and she literally ran away, didn’t talk the rest of the trip but exchanged numbers and screen names (Ali’s was FineGal13 or BeachJewel760), she made him a mixtape cd called “Ali’s really cool mix for The Kiwi” but never sent it and she still has it. In 2021, he DM’d her when she posted photos of her and her mom in France and invites her to visit him in London, she says she can’t but says they should catch up if he comes to NYC
Fourth Boyfriend
Met on OkCupid when you had to use it on the computer, this was mentioned on Tiktok
The Homecoming Date or Light Switch
First boyfriend? (she goes back and forth calling him her first bf or a situationship), a family friend, a month younger than Ali, dated in high school but went to different high schools, football player, made him ask her to her Homecoming dance over email (her words), Ali hid in the bathroom the whole Homecoming dance, 3-4 revisits of this situations as adults, saw him on Bumble a few years ago and texted him that he had a typo in his bio, “he very much wanted to be with me” and now he’s married with a kid. His mom is still “obsessed” with Ali and she listens to FMH
Random college guy
Freshman year of college, Ali doesn’t have a nickname for him/doesn’t remember his real name, met this guy through a friend, was texting him to invite him over to hot tub but her phone autocorrected to “how about some hot rubbing tonight?” but Ali didn’t noticed/didn’t correct it and he never replied, Ali had a house party and got really drunk and was all over him, he left the party early, she messaged him on MySpace 3-4 times asking why he left
The Resident
Matched on Match.com, first guy she dated in NYC after college, older than Ali, a doctor, lasted 3 months ”maybe”, he didn’t like Ali’s friends, got a card from him on her birthday and it said “Love, The Resident” and it took Ali back a little, Ali drinks black coffee because of him, he coordinated having her mom visit NYC for her birthday then he broke up with her a week later
The Ghost
Met at a bar when she was 25, turns out they matched on OkCupid and they already had a date scheduled next week, they dated for 6-8 weeks, had sleepovers, “The worst ghosting experience I’ve ever had”, he borrowed The Great Gatsby from Ali’s roommate, planned to make dinner together after a beach trip in August with her friends and never showed up, Ali is blowing up his phone and gets no reply, two weeks later she finally texts “are you alive? check yes or no” and he responds “Yes”, Ali then ask if he could return the book and gets no reply again, 5 months go by and she receives the book in the mail with the note: “Here’s the book back. Sorry. P.S. sorry about last summer. I was in a bad place. You’re a great person and your salmon is amazing”, since then she has ran into him twice on the streets and matched with him on Bumble
The Coach/Mr. Adorable
First serious boyfriend at 26/27 in 2013, matched on Match.com or met through work depending if you’re listening to the pod or reading her OG blog, clean-cut look, played volleyball, Ali invited him to a friend’s birthday party and they made out in the streets at 4am, on their second date he asked Ali if she was seeing any one and when Ali said no he ask her to be his girlfriend 3 days after their first date, dated for almost 1.5 years or almost 2 years depending on if you’re listening to the pod or the Patreon, first time saying “I love you” to a guy, “lovely guy“, never would posted Ali on his instagram until Ali said something, he “lived” with her for two weeks while he was in between apartments, tried blind folding/hair pulling during sex and she didn’t like it, by the end of their relationship Ali didn’t like sex and thought she wasn’t a very sexual person, after they broke up Ali drunk texted him at 2am and he picked her up and she spent the night and she took her things in the morning in a rolly suitcase, from her blog in 2015: “I just want to be careful I don’t end up with another Mr. Adorable situation, where I find myself dating my platonic best friend”, had drinks with him in 2016 from the blog: “Not in a romantic way (at least on my end)”, Ali still talks to him sometimes through casual instagram DMs, he’s currently (as of 2021) dating someone for 4+ years and Ali thinks they’re going to get engaged
Trouble
OG 2015 FMH blog, never mentioned on the pod, “I was immediately enamored with him”, met at a Beer Olympic party but he worked with one of Ali’s best friends (Ali was still dating The Coach at the time), lived in BK, tattoos and stubble, Ali’s best friend said he was a “fuck boy”, “he very much made me see that it was the right thing for me and The Coach to not be together”, from her blog in 2015: “he has this look in his eye like he’s constantly laughing at me – in a super sexy way”, he texted her saying he didn’t see anything romantically with her and she sent a gif of someone shrugging
Personal side note: Ali has mentioned she has cheated on someone but never disclosed who she cheated on or with. I feel like she cheated on Mr.A/The Coach with Trouble because of the timeline. Just a guess.
Waffles
Matched on Bumble, OG 2015 FMH blog, he asked Ali fuck/marry/kill breakfast foods, dated 2 months around summer time, on Fourth of July while watching fireworks he said how they had a great day and Ali replied with something along the lines with “yeah, it would be better if I could call you my boyfriend”, he said he wanted a relationship but just not with Ali and shortly afterwards they stopped seeing each other
The Buffalo
Lived in Buffalo NY, 6’5, Scorpio, met in 2015 at Adults National volleyball (Ali’s team won that year) where he was heckling her while she was playing, asks Ali’s mom for her number and Ali’s mom said “I guess you’re tall enough” and told him to ask her himself, he flew her out and she met his parents, dated over summer, exclusive but never boyfriend/girlfriend (but called him her LD boyfriend on TikTok), texted and talked on the phone a lot, Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “they had really good banter”, in October he invited her to his cousins wedding and she invited him to her friends wedding, after Ali bought her ticket to his cousins wedding (with the promise he would buy her ticket to her friend’s wedding) he ghosted and stonewalled her, she “poured her heart out to him on voicemail” and he never replied, she asked him to pay her back for her ticket and he got mad that she “made this about money”, 2 years later he told Ali that he freaked out because he really liked her and saw a future with her but knew she would never move to Buffalo and it would “never work”, Ali said at the time she would have considered moving for him, Ali used to have him blocked on Facebook and told all her friends not to update her on info about him (unless she asked). He’s now married and goes to Disney with his wife (which Ali kind of scoffs at?), Ali said on TikTok that she dodged a bullet
Baby Bic
Met him at Adults National years ago, had a flirtationship with him in 2016 when he was 19 years old, ran into him at the Adults Nationals 2021, last texts she got from him were about getting his fake ID taken away at the bar and him visiting her in NYC but Ali didn’t want to buy him beer and drink at her apartment
The Chef
Matched on Tinder around 2016, he loved karaoke, “total shit”, asked Ali to be his girlfriend and to meet his mom after a month, off and on dating, broke up the first time because he was talking to his ex, lied and flew to Mexico to see his ex while dating Ali, that ex sent Ali a Snapchat of them in bed together on that Mexico trip, Ali broke up with him via text and called him a shitty boyfriend, he’s the reason Ali deleted her Snapchat because of drunk Snaps he would send post break up, FB messaged Ali 6 years later (while Roark was visiting/staying with Ali) and said sorry for being a shit head. Ali’s best friends hated him
The Dentist
Met on Halloween in the wild, Canadian, dated NYE 2016- May 2017 “nice guy, not my guy”, one of Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “he adored you, “he was too sweet for me” and “he had no edge to him”, he painted Ali’s cat for her 30th birthday but she was annoyed it was just Rory and not both cats, The Chef texted Ali while on a date/sleeping at his house
ASV - Aspiring Sober Vegan
Met through a friend (her best guy friend’s college roommate) the day before she had to fly out to her dad’s memorial, a doctor, into meditation, remembered him “being cuter” when they went on a first date, felt “the spark”, had “omg this is awesome sex”, Ali described this relationship as a “slow burn” and “the most attracted she ever been to a partner” even thought she didn’t think he was that cute in the beginning, dated 2-3 months before he tried to ghost Ali but they talked and broke up, four months later they start casually dating/FWB because he’s moving but this turns into a ‘middle distance relationship’ and he moves to Philly, had a lot of communication issues but didn't have a lot of fights, wants to live in Ohio and give a % of his income to charity, Ali was close to saying ‘I love you’ but didn’t, he uninvited her to meet his extended family and they got in a fight, broke up with her a couple weeks before their 6 month anniversary at the park while on a picnic and told her that she’s still his favorite person, Ali used to think he was “the one that got away” and would frequently have dreams about him. From what Ali knows, he's sober but not vegan
The Scientist
2017 or 2018ish, from San Diego, went on one date, Ali ended up ghosting him due to the decline in her dad’s health, saw him on Hinge while she was in San Diego for 3 months in 2020, texted him and apologized for ghosting him, ended up going on 2-3 more dates, took a selfie in front of his house and sent it to him but acted like she didn’t know that was his house and made a TikTok about it, things ended up not working but she doesn’t make it clear on who ended it. She can now see she shouldn’t have been going on dates during this time when her dad was sick.
Good on Paper Divorced Dude
Met a couple of years ago (she told this story on TikTok in 2020) on Bumble
The Groomsman
Met at her friend Ashley’s wedding in Chicago Oct 2019, had a “two night stand” with him, texted/talked/FT’d for 3-4 months, divorced, never dated seriously/FWB, saw each other a couple time when he came to NYC, Ali stopped talking with him due to FMH and her trying to find a serious relationship, he starts dating someone, follows FMH on insta, slid into her DM in 2022 and then sent her soup while she was sick, turns out he’s single again, 2 months later Ali is heading to Chicago and texts him “Hello! Reminder that my arrival to your neck of the woods is imminent” and turns out he is now seeing someone and Ali doesn’t see him while in Chicago (at least she doesn’t mention it)
Unnicknamed person
He was her plus one at her best friend from college’s NYE wedding 2019/2020, met and hung out with Ali’s mom, posted photos of them together on her personal Insta story, “fully dating but weren’t official hehe” doesn’t have a nickname/never gave him a nickname? This could be The Latvian/the person she texted her friend in DC about saying “I think I’m on a date with my husband”

Starts FMH on January 2020 on Instagram/TikTok

The Traveler
He was browsing Bumble while Ali was in the bathroom during their first date, he was banned from Bumble and was using his grandma phone number. Ali turned down a second date
The Duke
Early FMH, went for long periods of time in between texts, 7-8 Zoom dates while Ali was in San Diego and he was in NY, Ali said you could see three of his ex’s on his instagram page (without scrolling), they finally went on one date and it was “meh” but they did kiss on their date
The Oyster
Matched on Bumble (he had one photo and no bio) two weeks before Valentines Day, Gemini, a lawyer, part of the 13 First Dates in 30 Days series (he was #13), dated Feb 2020-Aug 2020, love bomber, felt “the spark” and became official after 3 dates, best first date ever??? at the time, said “I love you” to Ali after two weeks, “For most of my relationship with The Oyster, he didn’t live in the city he had moved to Connecticut without telling me”, would fight all the time, opposite political views, Ali felt like a “fucking summer camp director” because she planned all their dates and he would get upset if Ali didn't have a plan, sought out a therapist (Megan) because of her relationship struggles because of him, went to Mass/church, he wanted a traditional marriage/life/wife/kids (at one point had Ali thinking she wanted that), didn’t want to live in NYC, didn’t support BLM, Cindy hated him
The Pilot
Went on 3 dates, texted a lot, didn’t hear back from him in four days and when she said she was looking to date someone who showed more consistency, he replied saying he met someone the day after their last date who seems to have more free time than Ali and he wants to pursue that but would like to be friends, Ali said on TikTok that this other women “bent her schedule to his schedule” and she was unwilling to do that. Mostly talked about him on TikTok
The Analyst
Matched on Bumble two years ago and went on one date, re matched in 2021 and he stood Ali up, she send him a text “getting stood up” script and he never replied. Only mentioned him on TikTok (?)

Ali and Roark start FMH: The Podcast February 2021

The Boomerang
First date on the pod? I couldn't find anything else about him
The Scuba Diver
The Music Man
One date, “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just not for me”, amped up small talk, complimented Ali a lot which made her feel awkward cause she wasn’t feeling it, he texted her and asked for a second date and Ali sent the no ghosting script
The Bet
Uses the phrase “ok bet”, 28 years old shoe designer, only went on one dinner date to a spot he picked, turns out its cash only and he didn’t bring cash, was not into him , not looking for the same thing
The Dinosaur
Nickname was previously The Hawaiian, first date at Dinosaur BBQ, stood in a parking spot to save for Ali, he asked for a kiss after their date and Ali declined saying maybe next time
The Rose
He sent her a rose on hinge, first date was an hour long walk in the park while drinking beer
The Comic
Matched on Hinge, older than Ali (Ali’s friends express how happy they were to hear that), had brunch on their first date (was the first part of a double header but the second guy canceled), listed as “moderate” politically on Hinge, good and easy convo, went back and forth twice over text and then never heard back from him, “technically not ghosting...”
The Camper
Met in the wild at a volleyball tournament in July, lives in Chicago, 27 years old, hung out the whole time, over heard Ali asking someone to get her a make out partner, gave Ali his number, drunkly ask him for a FT date in the future and he didn’t reply, Ali texts him again about a volleyball thing and he replied back with not a lot of enthusiasm, Ali is going to Chicago in Sept for a volleyball tournament and she’s already planning on playing 4-on-4 with her best friend vs. his roommate and maybe The Camper, he texts her saying he has to work on the date of the tournament and won’t be able to do the 4-on-4 game, “I feel like I got broken up with someone I never want to date in the first place”

Ali’s Matchmaker contract starts in August 2021 - 6 matches

The Schmoozer
Went on a dinner date, was chatting up the waitress in a kind of creepy way, was bragging about a lot of things and it turned Ali off and Ali texted him her no ghosting script
The Accountant
1st matchmaker match, 31 years old, lives in BK, his dad has also passed away, easy to talk to, on the third date she wasn’t sure if she saw a future with him and in her gut doesn’t feel like this would be a slow burn, Ali breaks things off with him, months (?) later he sent Ali a 5 min long voice memo and they said they were both down to see each other as friends. He later on dated and ghosted Erica
The Aussie
Matched on Hinge, in politics, from Australia but lived all over the place, asked Ali what she’s looking for on the first date and he said he’s “casually looking for something serious”, Ali accidentally walks up to a different person on their second date, Ali texts him saying she would love to see him before he leaves on a trip and she wasn’t happy that it took him till the next day to reply and he can’t see her before he leaves
The Goalie
Was supposed to be Ali’s 2nd match, he’s a paying client, Ali didn’t hear back from him for a while when she told him where she lived, he wrote to the matchmaker saying that she lived too far away even though it states where she lives in her matchmaker profile
The Journalist
2nd matchmaker match, ended things because she was dating/pursuing things with The Discoball and paused her matchmakers matches

The Threepeat
Matched multiple times on dating apps but this recent time with Hinge, Amazon seller, first date was a pizza lunch date (with bubbles aka champagne) and he gave her a single yellow carnation, talked a lot about her “side hustles” aka her food blog, coaching, FMH and the pod (Ali didn’t mentioned the name on FMH), had an awkward half kiss during the date and then gave her a peck when they said goodbye, he had no night stands by his bed?, spent the night but told public pod they had a movie night, different kissing styles, 6 dates, broke things off with Ali two days before her first date with The Rower WHILE Ali was on a Halloween girls trip
The Rower
Dated from Halloween 2021 till early Feb 2022, Pisces who is 6 days older than Ali, has an ex-fiancé (they dated for 8 years, engaged for two of them, she broke off the engagement with him 1.5 years ago once he started dating Ali), has a shared dog with this ex, slept together around Xmas on the fourth date and Ali got a UTI, first time having “omg this is awesome sex” since ASV, first person Ali slept next to wearing an eye mask "that's a big step for me", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, on New Years Day told her that he sees “long term relationship potential” with her but doesn’t want to be exclusive after 5 dates, “we didn’t talk all week”, he said he wasn’t as ready as he though to date someone seriously and “I don’t know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” they broke up over the phone, Ali said he’s a good human and wants to date someone like him, 3.5 weeks later Ali drunk texted him at 3:00 am saying “its really hard not to talk to you” which Ali said was a lie, he replied back (few days? A week later?) while Ali was on another date and it made her cry a bit, she replied back saying “the door is closed but not locked” in regards if he wants to get back together. “Fin… for now”

2022

The Discoball
Matched on Hinge but didn’t go on a first date for two week, Gemini, used to be a singer in a band, moved from DC to NYC, went on 7 dates in 2022, had a dog w/ ex and ex got full custody once he moved, met one of his friends on the second date, slept with him on the second date “morning and night”, he tried to find the podcast without knowing the name, podcasted from his house in DC, he would send Ali photos of them together “all the time”, gave a virtual presentation from his hotel room, did Molly together in DC, had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, moved to BK (didn’t see each other for 2 months pre-move), had a sex-less sleepover (a milestone for Ali), he showed up for her on her dad’s death date (something that a person she’s dating has never done), used to listen to the pod but stopped before they stopped seeing each other, ghosted her after they had a talk about moving things forward to exclusive and Ali texted him something along the lines of “your silence is the answer” when she didn’t hear back from him for a week and he ghosted her. Ali said he sucks in #77 AUA
Lisbon
The Brit
M&M
The Come Back Kid
They went on 2-3 dates in Nov 2018 and reconnected in May 2022, "felt immediately comfortable", sat next to a very drunk lady on their second 1st date and was supportive but "didn't step on Ali's toes" when the drunk lady said something offensive to Ali, couldn’t remember if they slept together or not, knows about FMH, ghosted Ali
The Trainer
The Cold Brew
The Nomad
3rd matchmaker match, reminded Ali of The Oyster, wanted kids and didn’t want to live in NYC forever, Ali was upset at first because her matchmaker was supposed to screen for that but the matchmaker DID check and it wasn’t mentioned when she was screening The Nomad, no second date because those are dealbreakers to him
The Catcher
Matched on Bumble, “good not great” after their first date, ~April 2022, talked about sports a lot on their first date
The Gentleman
4th matchmaker match, knew about Ali’s FMH socials before their date, Ali didn’t like his texting style, awkward intro on their first date “like hugging a 2 x 4”, he runs a dating event company and actually email Ali to be a guest on the pod when FMH first started, awkward goodbye, didn’t discuss the actual first date on the main pod because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to reach out again
The Tennis Pro
Ali had a good time on their date, “He is an adult, he’s mature” BUT “I don’t think he was into it”
The Padre
Matched on Bumble, 3 dates, from San Diego, “energy mismatch”, doesn’t want to know or listen to FMH, no psychical connection/kiss, only a kiss on the cheek on their last date, “I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night [a week]”, she didn’t want to do what The Threepeat did to her (break up while on vacation/traveling), she said it might be a MOO

Roark leaves and Erica joins the pod Oct 31st 2022

Captain Kirk
5th matchmaker match, found him on Bumble before their in-person date, ghosted Ali AND the matchmaker???
6th matchmaker match
Last match and Ali states she will not talk about this date or anything about it
JFK Kirk?
Matched on Bumble, didn’t realize he’s located in SD, exchanged personal instagram info, not sure where things went or how things ended

Kirk #1
Met in the wild, make out a lot the night they met, “stealing kisses throughout the night”, exchanged numbers, planned a date (no specifics, just the day) but when Ali texted him day of he asked to reschedule (no specifics again), he replied back that he’s picking up a rental car, told him she’s looking for someone to respect her time and he never replied back

2023

The Falcon
First date of 2023, matched on The League, first nickname was “League Kirk”, hard to talk to, felt like Ali was always reaching for the next topic, likes to travel, “there wasn’t a vibe”, MOO
The Roommate
Used to be her friend’s roommate and have met before (Ali doesn’t remember but it was the day after that exclusive convo with The Rower), “totally cute”, reunited at their mutual friend’s engagement party January 2023, made out at the bar, comes back to her place and sleeps over (no sex), Ali questions why her friends never set them up and its because he was taking a break from dating, first date they made out a lot at the bar (again), “I really felt like we were already a couple”, “It didn’t feel like a first date”, mentions her FMH content has popped up on his FYP, tried texting him after their date and he wasn’t giving effort, she’s glad she didn’t sleep with him because “one night stands aren’t my thing”, MOO
The Belgian
Matched on Bumble, accidentally had their first date during a trivia night at a bar, easy to talk to
The Viking
Ali forgot they had a first date on the day of said date
Tinder Man
Matched on Tinder (duh) on Valentine’s Day, first Tinder date in three years, good convo on first date but got a pushy vibe from him at the second bar they went to, put his hand up her sweater and was kissing her in the bar, made Ali uncomfortable and she told him that after her asked her on a second date
The Historian
Matched on Bumble, good conversation on the first date with a wide range of topics like “urban planning and its impact on feminism”, he’s in grad school
The Georgian
Matched on Hinge, he asked if she was free on Friday and she said yes but didn’t hear back from him in two days and in that time she made plans for Friday, rescheduled for a Saturday afternoon date at a dive bar, ate on her way to her date “it would be next level rude to eat on the subway”, good first date, talked about places he wants to take her to
The Publicist
Matched on Tinder, lives in BK, Jewish, one year younger then Ali, good first date, invited him to the Chaotic Singles Party that night, came over to Ali's apartment (which Ali said was messy) before and he made her favorite cocktail for her, a couple of listeners met him at the CSP, goofy and silly convo mixed with deep and serious convos, second date was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and a tasting menu dinner, he made a Resy reservation and Ali got an email saying she was added to it ”fuck receiving gifts, THAT’S my love language”, he's into words like Ali, he sneezed and Ali said "God bless you" but then corrected herself and said "gesundheit" and he leaned over and kissed her and said he loves that she cares about her words, he met her friends on the third date ”It felt so easy. It felt so comfortable”, her friends took “sneaky” picture and videos of them together which Ali said she loves a sneaky pic, took all their date recap videos on his phone, cooked Ali steak on their fourth date, "it's very comfortable", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, Ali met two of his friends and some of his teammates he plays a rec sport with, had sex the day they took a trip outside of the city, Erica met him before their trip to Greece and I said “he’s dorky in a good way”, WhatsApp video chatted while in Greece and told her “see you in two days!” at the end of their call, said she felt less anxious about him compared to other relationships while on vacation, sent him a birthday present while she was in Greece, felt an energy shift coming back from vacation and didn’t hear back from him 3 days after she came home, Ali requested a call to talk about this distances she was feeling, ”I did the 12 date rule and it didn’t work!”, she said the distance help her see that they’re not compatible, went on a total of 9 dates. Ali talks about the “break up” on episode 123
Mr. Chaotic
Matched on Tinder but he saw Ali at the Chaotic Singles Party and Cassidy the host is there mutual friend, went to a brewery and played games on their first date (Ali said this was her favorite first dates in episode 147 where they recapped 2023), works in entertainment industry, very high energy, knows about FMH and he said she's entertaining to watch, splits his time between NYC and some unknown city, texted while she was in Greece, ”The man gives good texts”
Random Matchmaker Match
Withdrew his match to Ali because he found her FMH socials. Talked about on #71 AUA
Gone with the Wind
Matchmaker match, said some gross things about women in volleyball outfits on their first date, Ali told her matchmaker about this, ”I would describe him as misogynistic overall”, Ali was glad he did say those weird things so early on so she didn’t waste her time, the matchmaker flagged his account. This was around June 2023
The Rock
Ali knows him from an activity that they used to be involved with in the city (she's very vague about what this is) from 8 years ago, he had a very serious/long term GF when they met, follows her personal Insta, has never talked about him because he’s never been a “prospect”, summer 2023 they met up to catch up and found out that he’s now recently single but he’s moving out of NYC for work, Ali texts Cindy saying she thinks this is a date, Cindy said to tell him that you really want to kiss him, he ends up telling Ali “I really want to kiss you”, made out at the bar, Ali invited him back to her apartment and they had sex the night before Ali ended things with The Publicist, “one night stand vibes” but she said she was down to do it again, Patreon only and talked about on #75 AUA
The Tourist
Matched on Hinge, just moved to Brooklynn, went to a brewery in BK for their first date, Ali showed up to the date dripping in sweat, allergic to cats, he sent Ali a ‘no ghosting’ text the next morning
The Stout
Matched on Bumble, ”we had really great banter right away”, laughed the whole time on their first date, talked about going on a second date during their first date
Speed Racer
Matched on Bumble, drinks first date, axe throwing second date, made out after their second date, MOO, randomly texted Ali ~6 months later because he said one of Ali’s date recap videos about him popped up on his FYP (Ali and Erica think this is a lie), he thought Ali wasn’t into him, he claims he was doing all the work with texting even though there was only a few messages since they exchanged numbers after their second date
Billy Joel
Recently sober, Ali said she felt like they had several inside jokes before they met in person, ate pizza on her way to their first date, second date was getting coffee and going to the museum, they cooked dinner together for their third date at Ali’s apartment and they watched 90 Day Fiancé (he didn’t like it), he Googled how to clean a red wine stain when it spilled on her countertop, he asked if she wanted to have sex and she turned it down, the next day/the day before a 7am flight Ali booty called him and they had sex, she was drunk and said the sex wasn’t good/they stopped mid way, helped Ali pack for her flight, Ali said he’s at a crossroad and he doesn’t seem like a long term fit, Erica found a condom on the ground while cat sitting, Ali said she didn’t regret hooking up with him but wishes she hadn’t done it, MOO
Sales Cycle
30 seconds in and Ali said he was very boring, only really talked about his job, stared at Ali’s boobs, “might be a MOO”, texted her ‘merry christmas’

2024

Pie Guy/Dr. Laundry
Matched on The League, 34 years old, requested a nickname change from Pie Guy to Dr. Laundry, he had to cancel their second date because he got hit by a car, went on two dates, Ali sent him a pic of his subway stop saying something along the lines of “the stop isn’t looking as cute today” and turns out someone he dated with in that photo, were supposed to go on a third date the night she got back from a bachelorette party but he didn't answer her text when she said she landed, the next day he asked her how her trip was not acknowledging her previous text at all, Ali expressed her disappointment and he replied that he was tired last night, she said she would've been understanding if he said something then ghosted her
Andddd I stopped listening to the podcast around the Dr. Pie Laundry Guy but have stayed up to date with everything via this sub.
I have a huge interest in dating culture, human behavior and data similar to Ali and this little project of mine was really interesting once I got the framework of this list. I started this list once I found this sub in December 2023 and started re listening to the Patreon while working out (and lost 10 lbs ayeee) and writing down information in my notes app. I did my best to keep this list unbiased and just give facts and information that was said.
My own thoughts after making this list is that I'm very sad for Ali. I didn't realize the extent of her dating history. I think about my own dating history or even my friends who are in their 30's and dating and Ali's dating lore runs so deep. Is Ali unlucky with love? Did she pass on someone that could have been great for her? How has she had so many dates with little success in a long term partner or even going beyond 6-8 dates? Or is Skyline the person she has been waiting for? What's the pattern with all this dates/men? So many questions.
I truly do hope Ali finds her guy because I believe theres someone for everyone. Until then, I'll be hopping into this sub (cause y'all are too funny and give the best advice) and waiting for Ali to find Mr. Height.
Enjoy and I look forward to everyone thoughts! I'll keep my eye out for any edits that need to be made.
Bonus quotes:
“Longest relationship was a little under a year and a half. Haven’t made it past 6 months with anyone else” - AUA #7 11/27/21
“I spent the first 10+ years of my dating life being sort of perennially single” -1. The Actual First One episode 2/21/21
"I think my parent's story is the reason why I think that I can romantically get back together with an ex and it'll work out" -The Dave Glaser Podcast 4/5/21
“Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, with a couple of exceptions, started as a situationship.” -21. The Undefined One 7/11/21
“All of my boyfriends have been white” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“You definitely need an older guy” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“I’ve been on the dating apps since high school. Dating websites at the time” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Who would be the perfect man for Ali?”
“Clearly a combination of the The Dentist and [the early stages of] The Buffalo” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Do you consider The Rower or Disco ball to have been situationships?”
“No, I don't consider either The Rower or The Disco Ball to be situationships” -question asked on TikTok 11/9/22

Royal Road here: https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/80877/nop-atalors-fate
Discord Tag: notafurrylad
It's been a while, huh?

First Last Next
Memory transcription subject: Yivreen, Cyonian Survivor
Date [standardized human time]: February 22nd, 2134
The flash daymares hadn’t stopped. Four nights since they’d set in, and now those two fire and brimstone eyes were lingering, waiting to come out when I was asleep. I’d thought that first daymare had been a fluke. It’d felt real, getting chomped up like that, crushed. But... ah.
I’d had more. Once I was in the mouth of that Arxur who’d kicked down the tree. Then I was in the cages with Hens Jr and Sr, and Alma... And each time if there was time for it that swampheaded, red eyed, smokey Arxur would come on in. Try and guilt me like I’d done something wrong.
It was working.
“Yiv. Yiv! I think I got it!” I blinked, my stupor broken by Junior. The kid had been a good help with the computer system since we’d let him fiddle with it instead of me. Much to my... begrudging admission: he was better at it. So, I stood from the chair and headed over to him. The monitor and console were lit up good as new, but they’d been like that for a couple nights now. We’d finally got access to a local map when that’d happened. Or rather a map of the surrounding area, outdated as it was it still had the location of the city on it. It wasn’t like anything had significantly changed in the past hundreds of years since this place had been abandoned. It had been the whole ‘trying to page it into the rest of the old systems at the outpost’ part that’d eluded Juniors little pet project.
“What did you get?” I replied, leaning over his shoulder with a paw on the console while he typed at it.
He cleared his throat. “W-well. I was able to find the wire that’d been causing the problem with the connection to the outpost’s server.” A server? What?
“What do you mean a server? I thought the only computer systems in here were in this room?” He turned his head, a brown eye winking at me. “Nuh-uh! Were you even listening when I explained it earlier? It’s more than just a weather monitoring station. It had a server, otherwise why would it need so many type-v connectors. See?” He pointed a claw to the bundle of wiring running up the wall and into a concrete hole that looked to lead to the next floor above us. Probably. I hadn’t really cared about how many wires there were.
“So... there’s more than just the databanks here in this room?” I asked. My eyes were tasked with looking over the monitor with pursed lips. I’d dug through some ye olde outpost files in the past nights for my journalist program but evidently I’d been missing things if all it took was one kid who had a knack for tech to ascertain there was more to these places.
Before my question could be answered though the command lines and startup protocols on the operating system for the thing had popped by and opened up onto a familiar desktop of our more modern tech. Junior went about clicking immediately to some command line and writing in some jibberish... And- my eyes widened. “What’s that?” I asked, pointing my claw to all the commands on his little black background’d screen.

1: Status
2: Logs
3: Garage Door
4: Barrack Override
5: Communications

Were among the top five, with a half dozen more I didn’t quite have time to think on. “Quick- quick! The uh- There’s a garage?” Don’t get distracted Yivreen. Ahhh moss-heaps.. “The Barrack Override. See what that does.”
The boy swatted away my paw trying to push at it. “Calm down! Calm down jeez, fine!” He jammed his digit into the corresponding number and pressed enter. A few moments passed as it simply displayed three dots. I waited... I waited.. Cmoooo-
Clank. VV-vv-vvv-veeeeeee....
It sounded like something behind the wall to our left was trying to unrust itself and move. A couple hundred years of not moving or being maintained had probably ensured it’d never get moving smooth again. Then of course the universe proved me wrong, and the wall actually shifted. The rounded metal slab I’d taken for a part of the tower’s superstructure began to lower, and behind it... “Holy shit.”
I don’t know where the extreme language had come from but... Wow. My eyes lit. Bunks. Bedding. Lockers.. It looked like the room beyond had been some sort of lodging area for soldiery when this place was built. But there’d been a grow-in on the back wall from a massive root. Snaring part of the room in its gripping-vinelike vice grip. The root was long dead, and the hole it’d bored through the concrete had left the inside exposed to the elements a touch more than if it’d just been left... At least there wasn’t much evidence of water damage.
“Yiv? Are you-” But I was already headed through the way, a paw on my pistol as I glanced around the abandoned room. My mind went right to checking out the lockers, which turned out to be a good idea. My little training sessions into understanding the named bits for guns with Alma were about to start paying off.
“We’ve got guns. Or... Something like guns.” I announced, pulling out the carrying case and flipping it open. Inside I found what looked to be a.. Hrm- no magazine, no bullets... I lifted it up, the rifle-like hardened carbon material was in remarkably good shape. Probably due to the case and materials, but something was different about it. I glanced my eyes over it, noting the electronic aiming system on top which... when I clicked at it offered a red circle for looking through the little scope with. Huh. Not a common thing to find on a Cyonian designed weapon, at least not these nights. This place was old, but this weapon looked like it’d been built by something more ambitious than Federation paws. Federation handhelds were all modified from the same combustion based lead belchers. A fact that rarely ever went unspoken on our own networks when we needed a reason to criticize Aafa.
It took a while longer, but eventually I did find a snap-button on the back of the trigger grip that made something inside it hum to life. My eyes widened. “It’s... An energy weapon.” I murmured. My tail flicking in apprehension. Would it even still fire? The red blinking just below the button told me it must have no power perhaps but... “Hey. Junior. You think you could figure out how to charge one of these guys-?”
I turned my head to see the kid standing at the threshold with his tail in his paws, gripping them anxiously. “Yiv. The uh. The communications aren’t working, but I think the garage door might open if we try it. It could be that cropping of wall and sealed door we figured the old power system must have been housed in right?” He glanced to the rifle in my paws. “I mean, if it uses the same standards as the computer out here it should still be compatible with our stuff. But- we don’t have anything to charge power packs of that size.” He pointed to the fixture sticking out the bottom of the stock. Hrm, he was right.
“See if you can’t get the garage open. I’ll keep looking in here and see if there’s something to help with that.” Came my own voice, I felt... Giddy. Alive. The potential to fight back was intoxicating. Before all I’d had was this dinky pistol I’d used to... kill a couple of the greys. But if we could bring the fight to their patrols, save more people-
I shook my head. Why was I thinking like this? I couldn’t stand up to an invasion fleet. I’d been a frightened Sivkit on the first night of the attack. I- I’d stampeded. I couldn’t remember any of it, but the chance I’d trampled someone in my panic was not zero. I might have contributed to someone being crushed... I’d failed Els, that soldier I’d dragged into the house. Obelisk I couldn’t even keep my mind straight in a fight with those howling, laughing Arxur in my head. The campfire fight had been a fluke!
I didn’t quite know how long I just sat there, staring at the rifle beating myself up, but eventually I was shaken from it by Keick when she sat beside me, an arm on my shoulder. “Hey. I heard you and Junior had a bit breakthrough eh?” She said non-chalantly. I could tell though, even with the chipper tone she’d read me. The accountant knew I’d been in one of my little moods. She’d known me the longest of anyone here, everyone else was like... a pack of convenience? Maybe not Junior. Keick and I had survived the woods together. I’d pulled her from her own hells next to that burning car.
“Hey.” I returned back. “Yeah. Junior got the servers working. Or something like that.” I pointed a claw over at the computer, only to notice he was gone now. I blinked. Had I been out of it that long?
Keick filled in the hole in my head. “He went with his old man to go check out the garage.” Oh. Yeah.
I looked around, “Ah. The guns. We have guns now. Real guns.” I explained, holding the one I had in my paws up for her to inspect.
“Doesn’t look like any gun I’ve seen.” She mused back, taking it from my grip. My body was moving on its own now, rummaging deeper into the lockers. Some of these cases had been broken by the snaring, smaller branches of the grow-in. The firearms within cracked open and busted. Probably no good at all, exposed to the ambient humidity as they had been for so long. Still, couple of the other rifle cases were good. We had weapons, plural. Binoculars? Got em. Spare power packs that needed charging? Got em. There was a lot of survival gear here. Like a militarized ranger outpost had been stationed here. The synthetic material of the camouflaged cloak I found proudly proclaimed it’d reflect thermal scanning on its faded label even! “Either the old rangers from before the treaties were really into operator stuff or the Obelisk put all this here just for us.” I murmured.
Keick, for her part seemed to be looking it all over with a little inventory in her head. Already tapping in the number of each item into her dataslate. “Well. I’d go with the former. The Obelisk hasn’t been around for us lately.” Came the reply as she poked a claw at one of the now entirely spoiled ration packs. “Still, there’s enough stuff here you could arm a squad of soldiers probably. If you know where we can find some spare soldiers that is.”
I flicked my ear at the poor humoured joke. “Ahuh.” Came my reply. “Maybe you should go try the radio again, they’d love to get their paws on stuff like this I think. Pre-war tech actually made to fight predators like this is rare.” Which begged the question... Why did the cloak boast about defeating thermals? These outposts were dated after our discovery and incorporation into the Federation as an early member, and WELL before the Arxur war. So why had we built cloaks like these? Was this equipment used during the years when we’d resisted the burning of our forests and jungles? If so, it meant it might have been auhh... much more violent then the archives made it out to be. Maybe there was a story here? My inner journalist was theorizing.
___________________________
I’d had to pick my jaw up off the ground after headed over to the garage. Hens Senior and Alma were leaned over the the opened hood of what looked like a remarkably still intact forest rover. The design was actually recognizable, having not changed much from what we had tonight. Six thick grooved tires, a buggy-like cockpit four seater set in the middle, and a back and top rack for storing anything you could want. “Is it working?” I asked the obvious as I stepped inside, noting Junior sat off to the side, fiddling with some wall mounted box or other. He didn’t look to actually know what he was doing beyond dusting it off and giving it a deep stare.
“I wouldn’t think so.” Came the chime of Keick, who’d followed me inside. It was around now my monocular visioned eyes were noting the various tools and spare parts laying around in the garage. Whoever had last been here had left in a hurry seemingly, because it was mostly stocked. No mess on all the immensely dusty parts. I could see a couple smaller fauna in the corners. A lizard here, a rodent there. Obviously there had been some way they’d chewed their way in at some point... Or they’d come in when the door was opened to the bustle and noise of the forest to my back.
It was Senior who looked back at my question, standing to his full height before leaning his back against the old vehicle. “No. It isn’t working. Or at least it won’t be until I figure a way to give the battery juice.” I tilted my head.
“Is it one of those older ones that zap out after a hundred years or so?” Came my obvious question.
He flicked his tail no. “It’s got one of the standard ones, it’s just that it stopped auto-cycling a couple hundred years ago. The electric motor looks like it should work if we pop it on. But we’ll have to see.” He glanced around the workshop. “I want to say we could probably get it working with the tools we have, but if the battery can’t be jumped, or it’s spent, or the motor needs a complete replacement we’re up a creek on getting it working.” It sounded like he knew a bit about it.
The feeling of my face scrunching ever so much came. “You didn’t tell me you were a handyman.” I said, crossing my arms.
“Well it never came up.” He said back with an affable smile. “Listen, it’s been a long couple weeks. Don’t get all spotty with me. We didn’t have anything a hobbying mechanic could fix anyhow.” Just a roll of the eyes from myself is all that met him as Keick spoke up, stepping over to the other three.
“So what’re you gonna jump it with?” She asked incredulously, leaning over the open cabin. From there I sort of... zoned out. All the older Cyonians present were bickering and blathering about the buggy which was quickly losing interest for me. I didn’t understand anything about mechanics like that beyond the bare minimum, so it was out of my purview. If they got it working that’d be another thing but I wouldn’t have been any help right now, so instead I placed a couple careful paws down until I was beside Junior, sitting next to him as he seemed to be eyeballing some far too faded label.
He had a paw lightly rubbing out the dust that’d caked an outlet, still one brown eye fixed on the label. All I could make out myself was the little yellow square symbol warning of an electric charge hazard. Weird to think even now those hadn’t changed. Had Federation technology really not changed all that much? Was it just us? A sigh. “So. What’s got your your nose twitching little dude?”
The past couple nights he’d gotten better with his anger, and... hadn’t destroyed any important tech in a fit of rage. All he’d needed was something to set himself to in a difficult situation like this. Keich had been right to set him on that computer. And.. I’d felt myself trying to encourage him along the way. Partly because I had an investment in getting those maps, and then partly because he’d ended up filling in a spot in my head like a younger cousin. Him and his old man had only been around for a little bit, but I guess maybe I didn’t want to think too hard about what had probably happened to my real family. For now, maybe I felt the most ‘at home’ around Keich and this little tinkerer. Was that weird? It felt like it should be weird.
He answered, looking up with a small upturn in his lips. “I think I found your energy cell charger for those guns you had.” He said simply. “One of the manuals over there wasn’t totally ruined, I saw something about a ‘optical projector weapon’ and ‘charger’ so I was trying to figure out if this was it. I... Think it might be, but I’d need one of those batteries to make sure.”
Now I felt like smirking. “Oh yeah? Well go get one swamp brain. Let’s see if these things still work huh?” Dutifully, he was up and off, tail shaking behind him in what I recognized as excitement. We weren’t totally defenceless anymore, and if the buggy could be salvaged there would be a means at least to relocate if we had to. Or... Maybe I could take a trip down to the city and paint a couple more of those scumbags red-
I shook my head. Where had that thought come from? If I was going back to Ataln it was to try and save more people... Yeah. I still needed to see if Gael was alive, maybe check that old house I’d left Els in. I don’t even know if I could find it now, knowing how scatterbrained I’d been at the time but- making a return to at least try seemed worth it.
Regardless, the box on the wall did turn out to be the correct port to charge energy cells for the guns. We’d just need to rig it up to the solar power system and juice them up to test them. Things were looking up! Our mobility had the potential to go from nights in every direction for shelter to mere hours, I’d just have to hope Senior knew what he was doing.
“Hey. Buddy.” I’d wrapped my arm around Junior’s shoulder. “Why don’t you go take a break for now huh? You were working on the computer all night. Maybe it’d be a good idea to just go relax. Enjoy how much you got done eh?” Besides. Gave me a good way to check out the logs page on the computer system myself before he stumbled on anything. It wasn’t like I didn’t trust him with it but- well there was no way to know what was in those logs.
He nodded, and with that I stood up, streeeetched out, and headed toward the tower. “Good, it’s your shift on the guard tower anyway.” I intoned politely. It was going to be a long day, assuming there was anything of substance in those logs... Scrounging through those would be preferable to sleeping right now anyway.

Hi, this is my first build in about a decade, and I saved up a good amount of money for this, so I'm looking for a sanity check and any advice you can give!
PCPartPicker Part List

Type	Item	Price
CPU	AMD Ryzen 7 7800X3D 4.2 GHz 8-Core Processor	$344.99 @ Amazon
CPU Cooler	ARCTIC Liquid Freezer III 56.3 CFM Liquid CPU Cooler	$116.99 @ Amazon
Motherboard	MSI MAG X670E TOMAHAWK WIFI ATX AM5 Motherboard	$259.99 @ Amazon
Memory	Corsair Vengeance RGB 64 GB (2 x 32 GB) DDR5-6000 CL30 Memory	$224.99 @ Amazon
Storage	Samsung 990 Pro 4 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 4.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive	$318.35 @ Amazon
Video Card	MSI SUPRIM X GeForce RTX 4080 SUPER 16 GB Video Card	$1199.99 @ Amazon
Case	Phanteks NV5 ATX Mid Tower Case	$99.99 @ Newegg
Power Supply	Corsair RM850e (2023) 850 W 80+ Gold Certified Fully Modular ATX Power Supply	$119.99 @ Amazon
Case Fan	Phanteks D30-120 64.3 CFM 120 mm Fan	$33.98 @ Newegg
Case Fan	Phanteks D30-120 Reversed 61.5 CFM 120 mm Fan	$33.98 @ Newegg
Case Fan	Phanteks D30-120 Reversed 61.5 CFM 120 mm Fans 3-Pack	$89.99 @ Newegg
Prices include shipping, taxes, rebates, and discounts
Total	$2843.23
Generated by PCPartPicker 2024-05-18 20:03 EDT-0400

This build will be used mostly for intensive gaming at 1440p@144z, but also for programming/compilation. The parts will be bought in the US, and I have access to a Microcenter. I would like to keep the budget under $3k, but there is wiggle room.
Here are some of the consideration points I had while making this list:

• I want to move 2 of the M.2 SSD's from my old build to this new one without sharing PCIE lanes. It seems like this is possible without using both PCI_E4 and M2_4 slots, which I shouldn't be doing even with the 2 extra M.2 drives.
• I originally wanted to go with the G.Skill Trident Z5 RGB 64 GB (2 x 32 GB) DDR5-6400 CL32 Memory, but I was worried I would have instability trying to reach 6400 MT/s. Additionally, both of these say they have XMP profiles, but I don't see any mention of EXPO profiles, which worries me on an AMD build. Is this OK?
• PCPartPicker says the ARCTIC Liquid Freezer III is incompatible with the Phanteks NV5, but I saw online that this is a mistake and the radiator will fit fine. Can anyone confirm this?

Please share any recommendations, tips, or comments you think of! Thanks in advance.

I like to view ceremorphosis as a metaphor for the (full) transition from affectual to cognitive empathy. And I also like to believe the completion of this process is what is commonly referred to as "losing one's soul".
Affectual empathy would make you feel sad when someone is suffering. Cognitive empathy would first only make you recognize someone's suffering and then determine what the best response from you is in order to get what you want. This is not necessarily "evil", as what you want often enough is simply for the other person to (continue to) like you. But yes, it is also a trait heavily associated with autistic, as well as narcissistic and sociopathic behaviour.
So, essentially, by becoming a Mind Flayer you "eliminate" your shortcut reaction to anything you see or sense and put a rational evaluation process in between observation and your response action. To an extent, this is a very natural and needed process for all humans growing up, you wouldn't want adults to throw a tantrum every time they don't get what they want, like a toddler. But if you strip every emotional shortcut response from a human, what different are they from a machine.
In that sense, it doesn't actually matter if the Mind Flayer is still you, or a new entity with your memory as there isn't really a difference anymore. However, it's quite understandable that some people might call this state of mind some form of transcendence if their experience with their own shortcut responses was overall more detrimental to their life than it was beneficial.
So if anything, our stance on ceremorphosis is a self-evaluation of our own emotional response cycle. As a result we might tell ourselves that we would sacrifice our souls in the process. Or we'd be convinced that it isn't that bad, especially if we have a chance to retain some form of self because of magic. To which the correct answer probably is: Yes. It is whatever we want it to be.

For context, I've tried to switch to Linux a few times by now, but i'd defnitely still call myself a noob and sorely lacking in experience with Linux (or coding for that matter). I've tried Ubuntu one or two times, then I briefly used Linux Mint, and now I'm on Debian 12 and I feel like giving up again and switching to Windows (Although I have been considering switching to Alpine only because I have a goblin in my head that cares WAY too much about optimization and efficiency so when it sees low minimum requirements it goes ooga booga install. So I guess that's another question I have: based on what I'm going to do on Linux, is Alpine a viable or good option?).
To clarify, what I plan to use Linux for is mainly for casual things along with programming. Stuff like web browsing and viewing media files, gaming (specifically a mix of old and modern games, along with some more obscure stuff like BYOND), writing and creating documents, learning game development to make my own game (I plan on working solo with the engine being Godot), and learning how to code. I would also prefer the distro to be lightweight as my desktop computer is on the very low end.
My issues, I'm assuming, are fairly standard and common: difficulty getting things properly installed, having things just straight up not work, and just generally being lost and not being able to figure out how to resolve any of this on my own. And so, I'm starting to wonder whether I'm just being a fucking idiot or it's just that the distro I'm on isn't best for what I need.
As for what I'm working with, I have two computers: a laptop and a desktop, both of which I'd like to switch to Linux for. My desktop computer is the Lenovo ThinkCentre E73 Mini Tower, a 2013 pre-built desktop computer meant for business (yes, it's a hand-me-down, it's been used and abused for quite a few years now, and it's still the one I mainly use nowadays). Here are it's specs:
CPU Intel Core i5-4570S CPU @ 2.90GHz x 4 Memory 3.6 GiB GPU Mesa Intel HD Graphics 4600 (1.5 GiB)
As for my laptop, it's an ASUS X580VD (and it's also an old laptop and a hand-me-down). Here are it's specs:
Processor Intel Core i7-7700HQ CPU @ 2.80Ghz GeForce GTX 1050 Installed RAM 16.0 GB
So essentially, I'm asking for some guidance on whether the distro I'm using is suited for what I want to do and I just have fuckall for brains, or it isn't and I should change to a different distro.
EDIT: I should also note that on Debian 12 I've been getting freezes on my desktop computer when I'm running a lot of things (like for example having a lot of tabs while running a retro game and Discord) and it takes half to a full hour for my PC to unfreeze, something which has never happened to me on Windows.
ANOTHER EDIT: If you're wondering why I'm asking about Alpine so much, it's so that I can get the goblin inside my head to shut up.

Hi, Both my grandmothers passed away a couple years ago. I’ve always dreamed of having them present at my wedding, now that it’s getting close to planning, I’m trying to think of meaningful ways to include their memory in my wedding. Something that’ll make me feel like they’re there with me still.
I was thinking of perhaps using a birthdate of one of them? But then I wonder if it will feel strange celebrating our anniversary on her birthday every year…
Any thoughts or recommendations?
1- I don’t have any of their wedding attire so incorporating their dress or veil wouldn’t work.
2- it doesn’t have to be obvious to guests, just to me.

Hi Community, I need ya help to troubleshoot!
I have a desktop with an i9-13900K with RTX 3090, DDR4 3600MT/S CL18 ram. Motherboard is Gigabyte Z690 UD AX DDR4 with the latest BIOS, PSU is Corsair RM1000X.
The problem is when I exit BOINC Manager (project stops with exit) with GPUGRID running, I get following error message under event viewer:
The description for Event ID 0 from source nvlddmkm cannot be found. Either the component that raises this event is not installed on your local computer or the installation is corrupted. You can install or repair the component on the local computer.
If the event originated on another computer, the display information had to be saved with the event.
The following information was included with the event:
\Device\Video3
Error occurred on GPUID: 100
The message resource is present but the message was not found in the message table
Other than the above message, nothing abnormal happens to the computer, no sudden black screen, and I did not see this error message with other applications.
CPU's temperature is around 50C & GPU's core temperature is around 67C, memory 84C and hot spot 78C, looks normal.
The process responsible for utilizing the GPU is acemd.exe under "C:\ProgramData\BOINC\slots\2\bin" directory, and application name under BOINC manager is called ACEMD 3: molecular dynamics simulations for GPUs 2.27 (cuda1121)
Things I tried to troubleshoot:

• Set BIOS settings to default and limit power to 253W and set IccMax to 400A.
• Set RTX 3090's power limit and frequency to default.
• Remove GPU driver using DDU and clean install the driver.
• Turn off XMP.
• Use OCCT's GPU stress test to test stability
• Test CPU's stability using prime95 small fft.
• Install BOINC 8.0.0.

After I tried all those things, nothing has changed, still when I exit BOINC when GPU is utilized, same error message appears.
Please give some suggestions, thanks!

I want to start by stating a few caveats:

1. I've seen 2 shows before. Both were in the 3D era (New Orleans in 2016 and Cleveland in 2022).
2. My favorite era of based purely on sound was Minimum Maximum. Something about the mixes from that era just hit my ear the right way. As such, I judge other eras by that standard.
3. My seats for this show sucked. I was near the end of the horseshoe and half the screen was blocked by a line array. This also affected how sound hit me.
4. I firmly believe that every Kraftwerk show is a great show, and this one was too.

But...
This show had its issues.
First, the good:

• Great crowd. People showed up for KW. Lots of people on the floor were feeling the groove and moving to the music. Lots of enthusiasm from the crowd.
• They no longer use 3D visuals. This is great for me because I wear prescription glasses, and it was always awkward trying to wear both. Seeing the visuals crisp and clear with just my normal glasses was a great upgrade for me.
• I mean, it was Kraftwerk. It's always a great show.

The bad:

• Sound quality was not a peak. Again, I may have been in a bad spot in the venue, but it felt like some half measure between the 3D shows and the Minimum Maximum era and it just didn't work for me. What I like best about the MM era was how crisp, clear, and forward the vocals are. At this show, I could barely hear any of them over the other sounds.
  • Note: I was wearing loop ear plugs. This may have impacted this, but otherwise it would have just been too damned loud.
• There were multiple mistakes on the visuals. Examples I recall include a lagging video on Radioactivity, miscued lyrics text in the Robots and Tour de France, and a few times where the screen was just black for short periods mid track. I don't know that we can blame Georg Bongartz for this or simply that the sped up and reworked setlist doesn't jive with the visuals as they were programed for 3D shows of yesteryear.
• While I do like the switch from 3D, I don't think the bridge visuals for Metal on Metal work as well without the 3D effect. I wish they had found an alternative to them for this show.
• The improvisations are just not as good. While these were always a minor part of any show (the thing about KW has always been their sameness and precision), these ones were simply not as good. I LOVE the improv segment of Musique Non Stop on Minimum Maximum era and in the 3D shows I saw. This one was just "meh," and there was a truly jarring segment on Airwaves that left me thinking "What the hell is Ralf doing?"
• Speaking of Airwaves, they seemed to place a pretty strong focus on Radio-Activity as an album. While all we got from Autobahn, TEE, Electric Cafe, and Tour De France were short versions of their main singles, we got a ton from this album, including Radioland, Nachrichten, the Voice of Energy, and Ohm Sweet Ohm. Why did we get these tracks instead of Computer Love, Neon Lights, Comet Melodies, Europe Endless, or Neon Lights, which we did not get? Maybe they were trying to get in a dress rehearsal for LA or something? EDIT: Based on the fact that the KY show seems to have done the full Autobahn Album and Columbus did the full Radioactivity album, this would seem to be the case. I would have preferred getting some of the other tracks.
• No robots. Maybe it's just me being a grump, but I really wanted to see the reaction on my 5YO's face when the robots danced on stage to Robotronik.
• And for my final nit to pick, both Henning's and Falk's LED shoes had one shoe malfunctioning and not showing the right colors half the time. Considering I had to pay >$500 for my seated tickets (on the morning they were made available because promotors/ticket sellers are scam artists), I would hope that little things like that would have been fixed.

OK... That pretty much sums it up. I don't mean to be a negative Nelly. Both I and my 5YO had a blast, and I will never regret empowering her to see them before the chances to do so all go away. If you ever get the chance to see them live, you totally should. It's amazing. Something about the way the base of Man Machine hits you in a live environment just, well, it hits different. But for those of you who may have seen them before and are worried about your last opportunity having passed you by, take some comfort. If you've seen them before, you probably got a great show that can't be beat. Cherish that memory like both my daughters now ill (took my now 8YO to the Cleveland show two years ago too).

I've Been Doing a Lot of Whatever the Fuck I Want Lately and I Like It
It's the day of Ayonna's Zoom court hearing so she's thinking about survivalist jailhouse makeup hacks. They've improved since women used to use scraped paint chips off their cell walls as face powder, dampened red paper as rouge, permanent markers for eyebrow pencils, Kool-Aid doubling as hair dye and blush, and M&Ms as lipstick because deprivation causes innovation for self-preservation. That and Jamahl's excruciatingly murky explanation of his 2-year wedding day gap even though he's as open a book as a text at a class final that provides no specific answers to a general essay question. It's not that he wants to delay a ceremony displaying his love for Shellfish publicly; it's about financing a befittingly royal wedding for the ghetto version of Prince Charles and the late Diana Spencer to whom the masses must bow down, and that includes the judge who simply doesn't understand the trials and tribulations of a multi-tasking single mother with behavioral problems negotiating her child's breakfast.
Court: . . . will continue matter until she can show up in court next week since we are clearly inconveniencing her. 🙄
Ayonna: I'm just a single mother with no help. You're not going to tell me I can't feed my daughter; that's never going to happen. Is it ok if I give my daughter breakfast?
Court: We are in court here. This is a court proceeding. ⚖️
Ayonna: Ok. Just be hungry. 😏
Four years probation because the judge's gnarly attitude is taking it out on me? Girl, what are you talking about? Bitch, you're gonna' tell me I can't feed my daughter? She can kiss my ass! I'm livid. Livid! 🤬
Jamahl: At the end of the day filled with dickheads, we still gotta' bite our tongues.
I'm not selfish; I've just decided that taking your feelings into consideration is too much damn work.
Keep Your Head High and Your Middle Finger Higher
For someone more accustomed to being abused than amused, Candice has said "I love you" to Andrew more times than the repetitive phrase, turn down for what, in the party anthem by DJ Snake and Lil Jon of the same name. While Andrew, true to his word, kneels and immediately proposes, Candice hesitates, and in that moment, resembles a raw double-chinned Pillsbury dough girl with an unnatural sheen, a face too sunken in its gravity to show happiness, and sad raisin eyes reflecting physical distress. But Andrew doesn't clock any of this; he's carrying out his promise to Candice's mom in a dream he made up though she has more eyes on her truck as she doubtless recalls her fond days of street racing, driving without a license, attempted stolen vehicle, felony burglary and constantly running from the police. If she were wearing cargo pants, she could stuff them with the faux Louis Vuitton handbag contents to savor as she completes her halfway house program so she can change addresses. If he could see past his own needs, he'd notice she was trying to figure where the hell he got the idea she cared. If I've cut you, it's because you handed me the scissors.
Patience: What You Have When There Are Too Many Witnesses
Joey is taking advice from Minerva, a sex columnist who looks like Chris Farley in drag who was super stoned and wandered into the backrooms of "Saturday Night Live" for a costume change and makeup refresh before rehearsing his Fellatio 101 sketch outlined on a chalkboard: Watch amateur porn for tips. Practice dirty talk. Get excited about being excited. Use both hands simultaneously and don't bogart that spit. Don't forget, steady wins the race. Freshen up before getting online and spending money for a rented motel room far away from your parents so you can have 15 minutes of precious sexy time before your monogamous lover warns you to deactivate your online profile that his friend saw. Hey, I found your nose; it was in my business.
The King Eats First
Once again, the kids are savvier than their parents. A striking Cheyenne and Nehemiah adjust their schedules to Rob's extended sentence that Tennie tries to embroider in her naïveté while every family member is worried about their displacement when Rob physically enters the picture even though he's already there in camera spirit. It's a which-came-first-the-chicken-or-the-egg question - is it a good thing the alpha male has streams-of-revenue for Tennie's shopping jones or is she shopping because she's worried about getting with an alpha male? He's a poker king like Marcelino making 6-7K a month in jail even though online playing for real money is prohibited, and I doubt his pod mates have that kind of extra cash regularly available. Any man in this day and age who can tell a woman to "sit down and be cute" must have it figured out as a lion doesn't care about a sheep's opinion. I bring too much to the table to be treated like a napkin.
Does One of Your Balls Hang Lower Than the Other?
Rick looks like a twig the wind blew off a tree or a stranded lost lamb in a field surrounded by hungry landlocked predators looking for a banquet. Sandy is sending him pictures of the reunion to remind him of her existence while 4x-married Samantha is positioning herself to long-distance bullrope and hog tie her bachelor into a ball-and-chain before he has time to think about how he's going to stretch a rigorously set pension into providing her commissary and visitation requests. His pickleball buddy, Dan, doesn't really give a damn; it's only his nieces who are rightfully tut-tutting her dictatorial attitude and snarking, "Fifth time is a charm." "Maybe I do have options," Rick muses, but then turns around and crows, "She builds me up." Sure, right after she shakes him up - like a snow globe. It ain't what you don't know that gets you in trouble; It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

I’m applying for section leader this year and I just filled out the google form for it. Before I submit it I want to get some opinions on my responses. I have some though competition so if y’all have any suggestions (especially if you’re a director) then please let me know what revisions I should make. (This will be my 4th year and I will be a sophomore in the fall. I play alto sax.) The form goes as follows
(Question) If you have had leadership experience outside of the Marching Band, please briefly describe your past leadership experience here. If you have no prior leadership experience, please type "NA."
(Response) I am in the honors college program so I have done plenty of volunteering that requires leadership and initiation.
(Question) Who do you think has been a good leader in the marching band? What made them a good leader?
(Response) Josh Iadeluca. Even before he was a drum major he always helped me and made me feel welcomed when I first joined. Without him there I would have struggled a lot.
(Question) Why do you want to be a section leader in the Marching Band?
(Response) I have to because for the honors college program to stay in it for your junior and senior year you must have a school related leadership position and there isn’t anything else I can do for it. Aside from that, I also want to become section leader because it is a very good thing to put on resumes and as someone who is looking to go to a highly rated college I am constantly trying to do things that improve my reliability.
(Question) How will you help the band as a section leader?
(Response) As a section leader I plan to do everything that Josh did for me. I know that recently a lot of our rookies and even some veterans are younger and less mature than members from previous years. I hope to help them feel appreciated, and mature into people that are even more fit to be section leader than me. In the meantime before then I want to make our practices more productive while still being enjoyable. While I already do try to do this already it is very hard to get people to listen to you when you don’t technically have any authority over them.
(Question) What is your favorite marching band memory so far?
(Response) Throughout marching band I’ve had so many experiences that pinpointing one is really difficult as multiple memories are special to me in different ways. The one memory that I love that helped me as a person was during the championships for my first year (Rise Up), the moment at the end of My Shot when I was holding my hand up high and pointing at the sky I realized how much I loved performing and it made me determined to do better during the next year. I even felt a little regret for not putting more effort into it that year.
Thank you for reading this far and I mean, you spent all that time reading it so you might as well comment too

This is going to be a bit of a long post so please bear with me.
I started crashing on intense games like D2, the finals, overwatch, ARK, etc a few months ago
I didn't care much because I don't game heavily as often as I did in the past
Eventually I got annoyed and started trying to figure out a way to stop it
Most of the crashes had to do with some sort of memory issue it seemed, i dont have any error codes I can share unfortunately
Considering this, I ran mdsched to evaluate the RAM and when I did this my Windows Boot Manager would tell me that windows failed to start and would say that I was missing a memtest.efi file(presumably what the mdsched runs)
A few days ago I finally stuck my windows usb into my PC and tried to repair this issue, but it said that it was unable to repair it
At this point I think that I need to just do a fresh reinstall of windows 10 but haven't done this and am somewhat wary
This is because of 1 main reason, when I got a NVMe drive and added it do my build, I had a HDD that had my OS on it. Since I wanted faster boot times, I swapped it to my new SSD. However, I don't remember how I did it and all I know now is that I have files on my HDD that I am unable to delete that are comprised of Windows, Users, Program Files, and Program Files(x86) folders. This itself might be the reason that I have been having the problems in the first place, but when I added my NVMe drive it didnt seem to be a problem at first.
Anyways, my plan that I guess I want you all to pick apart is, buy a 2TB external HD. Then create two folders on it, one for my C drive(SSD) and one for my F drive(HDD). And drag and drop any important files that I want to be saved. Then just perform a total system wipe and reinstall windows. Then just drag and drop files back in bulk. This is the brute force method of doing it, and I am positive there are more elegant ways of doing it so if anyone has another idea or sees an issue with mine PLEASE let me know.
Anyways, thanks for reading this and I hope it was fairly coherent.