I'm going to try to keep this short.
Ever since I got into the 8th grade my social life has gone shitty. Few friends which I don't like back, most of my classmates are just "neutral" to me. I am more antisocial and asocial (yes, both), very unhappy with school but it's whatever. It's much rarer for me to see someone and think "that guy's cool/I wanna be around him/I like this person". Now people around me seem more annoying, cocky and overall unlikable. Onto the major problem:
My main problem is this new "event" - after some time socializing I suddenly get extremely tired of doing so and MUST go away from others ASAP. If I can't get away from people I get increasingly upset and nervous.
When I get home to my family I, of course, don't talk to others for a while to regain my energy. Unfortunately my brother is a prick and really gets on my nerves during these "outages" because he'll bother me.
I just want my old happy life back. My class is 21 girls and 6 boys. I'm a boy. I feel like my life has gone irrepairably wrong when I got here and it's like I am not doing what I'm supposed to.
Will this event stop occurring? Why is it happening in the first place? How do I explain this to people around me, if they'd even understand?

I'm finishing up my first year. I didn't try to be the friendly doormat type of teacher--it just sort of happened. And I really try to look at my students in the best possible light, I try to be stoic about things, and I tried really, really hard to make my classes almost impossible to fail (alas). I greet every student with good morning and good afternoon. I say the same things every day every five minutes. I nag and remind and wax poetic about how one must crawl before they walk and walk before they run. I remind people to keep their feet on the floor. I talk to students about their gambling (phone) addictions, using the DSM-5 criteria. I blocked Google on GoGuardian. I talk about how the human brain is a quintillion times faster than punching out-of-context questions into Google or ChatGPT or whatever. I ask people to put their phones away and somehow they text their friends the pencil and paper assignments anyway and I get duplicate answers from the quietly failing friends who have my classes at different times throughout the day. I get Snapchat AI a lot on anything that involves chromebooks, or anything that uses logical cognitive processes. I ran out of copy machine money. I made four versions of the upcoming final exam and printed them at the public library (I ran out of copy machine money).
So--what's worth fighting for? Cell phones? In-class discussion? Drafts and revision? Cold calling? Reading aloud?
For cellphones: My department is mostly brand new, with a couple of burnt out veterans. One idea everyone is floating is collecting cell phones at the beginning of every class. I'm not sure about it, but right now reified as a sliced-bread solution.
For in-class discussion: One idea that might actually be worth it for me is to make porpsicle storcks (tongue depressors) and enforce participation. I figured, because I was new, that people simply enjoyed silence (and darkness) in the classroom. I've discovered, though, that I had to do a zillion little things every day because I excised discussion from my slate of options.
Because High School is not college, I'm okay with making participation part of the grade next year. I little birdie told me that only work ought to be graded, but there's no other place on Earth where people can finish their work and then just sit there for 40 minutes waiting for a bell to ring. Colleges don't do it. Workplaces don't do it. So I figure the environment dictates the activity, and participation needs to be graded, otherwise people are going to pretend that using their phone under their desk with their heads on the desk makes them invisible.
For drafts and revision: Early in the year I asked students to write a paragraph and I remember clearly a student saying "I ain't writing a goddamn fucking paragraph." And they didn't. So I made my classroom anti-reading and pro-stupid-videos-all-the-time. And students complained about watching 5-10 minute chunks of not-so-High-Quality-Instructional-Materials. I walked the class through EdPuzzles and asked open-ended questions, and I got the selected responses and blanks. I handed papers back and got blanks again. My content area is one where writing across the curriculum is more than a stupid idea--it could actually work in a school where people write goddamn fucking paragraphs.
For cold calling: I was informed that students of low SES/academic achievement would experience pants-shittingly-bad anxiety if I asked them a question. So I would ask the whole group a question and count to 270 slowly in my head. Then I would move on to the next thing. So next year, I'm going to have a lot of people with shit all up in their pants.
For reading aloud: I was informed that the majority of the students at the High School are aliterate and illiterate, and that asking them to read aloud is like duct taping their hands and feet together and throwing them in a kidnap van. So I read everything. But I think my informants were wrong about a lot of things.
Also: My school doesn't have a phone policy. It's up to me to put on an iron coat and run my own gauntlets. I think they want to wait 5-10 years for national momentum to build. Maybe it won't. Maybe it will.
So, all that to say: Which battles do you fight? Do you win? If not, is it worth it for you to be Sisyphus, and where in the 180 or so days does it pay off for you.
Thanks for noticing me.

For some backstory, I was having lower abdominal pain a couple of months ago where my appendix used to be (I had it removed in 2018). Due to the severity of the pain, my doctor sent me to the ER to make sure it wasn't stump appendicitis. Thankfully, it wasn't, and my CT scan and bloodwork came back normal. Though the pain subsided after a few days, I made an appointment to see a GI, but I couldn't get in earlier than three months out. A few weeks later, the pain came back even worse, and my primary doctor once again sent me to the ER.
During those few weeks, I had really been feeling under the weather (low-grade fever, headaches, and whatnot), but all my bloodwork still came back normal. Only this time, my CT scan results said: "The liver is prominent in size with Riedel's lobe measuring up to 19 cm in craniocaudal dimension. No focal hepatic lesions are identified. The portaland hepatic veins are patent. The gallbladder is mildly distended and unremarkable. No biliary ductal dilatation."
My primary care doctor ordered for me to have an ultrasound before my GI appointment, and I just had it done a week ago. It was performed in the morning, and I was instructed prior to the exam simply not to eat or drink anything after midnight. The results came back, and it says, "There is mild diffuse increased echogenicity of the liver, typical of fatty infiltration."
My primary doctor expressed his surprise, because I'm:
33 yrs old
Female
5''5 and 99 lbs (I lost over 6 lbs after my abdominal pains started due to a change in diet to see if the pain was simply from the foods I was eating. It wasn't.)
I don't drink alcohol.
I don't consume coffee, energy drinks, sports drinks, and I only drink one can of soda per day.
I don't eat fast food.
I don't eat greasy or oil-heavy foods.
I don't take any medications.

Cholesterol: 165

Triglycerides: 38

Bilirubin: 0.9

ALP: 53
AST: 14
ALT: 18

Albumin: 4.1

And since the abdominal pain started, my doctor suggested I cut out anything calorie-heavy or sugary altogether, which led to my weight loss. I'm already thin, and it's hard for me to keep weight on unless I eat a lot more than my usual consumption. I dropped six pounds in a very short period of time. Because I needed to put the weight back on, I started consuming foods that are still healthy but higher in fat content. Over a three week period, I managed to put the weight back on by consuming a lot of things like peanut butter and scrambled eggs.
When I scheduled the ultrasound appointment over the phone, the only restriction I was given was to not eat or drink anything after midnight (since the exam was first thing in the morning). My primary doctor, however, told me after the results of the ultrasound came back that I probably should have eaten a low-fat diet the day before the exam because it could affect the outcome.
My dinner the evening before the ultrasound was a salad with balsamic vinaigrette, a bread roll, 3 tablespoons of peanut butter, and 4 scrambled eggs made with butter. Could consuming things with a higher fat content like peanut butter and eggs 12 hours before the ultrasound cause the increased echogenicity seen during the exam? And could the recent change in my diet to eat more fatty foods cause the enlarged liver that I didn't have weeks prior?

Endurance focused today. Reverse chipper like on the tread. Add-on on the floor with insane rep counts. There is a goal for the rounds you get through on the first floor block.. I think green is two complete rounds, orange three or four and red is five.
Tread Block * 45 sec push * 1 min base * 1 min push * 1 min base * 75 sec push * 1 min base * 90 sec push * 1 min base * 2 min push * 1 min base * 2.5 min push * 1 min base * 3 min push * 1 min base * 4 min push * 30 sec AO * Collapse (member’s choice)
Floor Block 1 - 15 minutes back to back add-on row distance * Coach will call out when you are going to a new rep range (part), at that point you continue on the last exercise at the higher rep range and keep adding row distance when you get through the reps * Part 1: * 5 x upright row * 5 x tap front squat * 5 x bicep curl * 5 x close grip chest press * 5 x bridge * 100m push row * Repeat, adding on 100m to the row each round, remember which exercise and row distance you are up to * Part 2: * Start at the exercise you finished on at the last part * 10 x upright row * 10 x tap front squat * 10 x bicep curl * 10 x close grip chest press * 10 x bridge * Add 100m to your last push row * Repeat, adding on 100m to the row each round, remember which exercise and row distance you are up to * Part 3: * Start at the exercise you finished on at the last part * 15 x upright row * 15 x tap front squat * 15 x bicep curl * 15 x close grip chest press * 15 x bridge * Add 100m to your last push row * Repeat, adding on 100m to the row each round, remember which exercise and row distance you are up to * Part 4: * Start at the exercise you finished on at the last part * 20 x upright row * 20 x tap front squat * 20 x bicep curl * 20 x close grip chest press * 20 x bridge * Add 100m to your last push row * Repeat, adding on 100m to the row each round, remember which exercise and row distance you are up to * Part 5: * Start at the exercise you finished on at the last part * 15 OR 25 x upright row * 15 OR 25 x tap front squat * 15 OR 25 x bicep curl * 15 OR 25 x close grip chest press * 15 OR 25 x bridge * Add 100m to your last push row * Repeat, adding on 100m to the row each round, remember which exercise and row distance you are up to
Floor Block 2 - 6.5 minutes circuit anchor * 12 total x sprinter sit up * 12 x coach’s choice anchor (core) * 12 total x low plank alt wide knee drive * 12 x coach’s choice anchor (core) * 12 total x crunch hold with alt heel floor tap * repeat until finisher: 30 sec of member’s choice of core exercise AMRepsAP
DC commentary: >! Another endurance focused Mayhem template today. Today is like a reverse chipper where you are adding on push effort each round and also upping the rep count on your exercises each round. Not too much rowing today (unless you blitz through the weights). \ \ Pretty simple tread template today. No incline work but you will have a total of 7 minutes at base, the rest of the 23 and a half minute block is all at push pace or greater. Our coach was saying we should choose a low base to help recover but in any way you will get a lot of splats on the tread. You start with a 45 second push into a minute base. Next round increases this push by 15 seconds while keeping the base at 1 minute. Keep adding 15 seconds to the push up to the 90 second mark and then it is by 30 seconds. Your last push is a whopping 4 minutes straight into a 30 second all out. Good distance today of 5.85km (3.635 miles) in the tread block. \ \ Two blocks on the floor. The first block is 15 minutes long and again is endurance focused. You have five simple exercises that you are working through - upright rows, tap front squats, bicep curls, close grip chest press and a bridge. The first part starts off easy - 5 reps of each and then a 100m push row. Keep repeating this but adding 100m to the row each round. At a point in the block, the coach will tell you to move to the next part and in this one the reps increase to 10 and you keep adding that 100m to your row each round. Each time you get to a new part of the block, you start your exercise set at the last exercise you were up to in the previous part and keep adding distance on to the rows. This keeps on going until the reps get up to 20 and then you have a choice - either take it back down to 15 reps or up to 25. \ \ The goal of the block is to see how many total rounds you can get through. Obviously, it is easier to get through more on the lower rep counts so I think the idea is that you would need to speed through these as quickly as possible to “bank” as many rounds early on. It gets progressively harder with increased row distances. I didn’t get the formula for the part count (it isn’t shown on the screen) but the whole block is 15 minutes long and you have 5 parts so I would hope it would be every three minutes? Maybe someone smarter than me can line it up to the tread block timing but it didn’t seem obvious to me. Personally I would maybe just do 3 minutes each part to make it easy but it didn’t feel like it today. \ \ The last six and a half minute block is a core blast. You have three core exercises and a coach’s choice anchor exercise for 12 reps in between. Let this be a lesson - please be nice to your coach as I can think of some pretty nasty core exercises to do in those sections. Luckily we have a nice coach and he gave us plank holds and bicycle crunch for the anchors. \ \ The tread block was pretty hell like and the floor is tough if you are racing to get through as many rounds as possible. I would give today the usual automation 1 (🪶) out of 5 for gentleness and a 4 (☠️ ☠️ ☠️ ☠️) out of 5 for Mayhell. !<

What job would suit me If I graduated from the faculty lf economics and political science major economics, I got high grades, but I wasn’t interested in joining this faculty my bad grades at school got me to pay for college and that’s the one my parents chose. Now I’m nearly 25 I graduated in 2021. I didn’t work for a year because I’m Egyptian and I’m not living in Cairo, I’m in ismailia city and there is bo job opportunities hear. Then I moved to cairo and worked for as an inbound call center agent at a bank (outsourced). And I left them for another opportunity, but unfortunately the opportunity got canceled or they told me that they don’t want anyone anymore. I moved back to ismailia and we discovered mom has cancer, I was applying for other jobs, but after that I decided to stay with her for ger treatment. Three months passed and I applied for an online English instructor for beginners vacancy at two companies, one of them accepted me. I’m working for them now. They don’t take national holidays and they work six days a week. I decorated to shift for part time and make it four days a week. But then my mom’s treatment needed us to travel between cities so I told them I will not continue for a while after finishing the current groups. Then I started to make the groups enter gradually, but now I feel like I’m not doing anything. First of all my internet connection sucks and the students are complaining and I’m afraid that might lead the company to fire me. Second of all I don’t feel qualified, they take anyone and my english level is B1 only and it’s not even good enough. I don’t feel like I’m doing anything in my life and I’m so depressed. I don’t even know any other teachers they make us deal with the admin of the whatsapp groups and the supervisor only and sometimes the boss. I don’t know if I should continue academically even though I got rejected before. Pr should I continue in research or maybe I’m not qualified for that. Or should I shift to any career that is not realted and start over I’m really lost I even tried career coaching but it was so costy and I felt like it’s a scam. Can you suggest what would be the best for me based on what I’ve said?

This is not a question, or a “what’s your favorite…” type post…. Just a comment. Something I’ve been thinking about for a while now:
I’d give almost anything to have “that feeling” again. The way I felt when I heard “Free Fallin” for the first time in 6th grade. The way I felt when I heard “Two Gunslingers” or “All the Wrong Reasons” or “Swingin”…. That feeling where I immediately know I just heard a song i’m going to love for the rest of my life.
This isn’t limited to Tom’s music. I felt the same way the first time I heard “You’ve got to stand for something” by Aaron Tippin, “Fast as You” by Dwight Yoakam, “I Can’t dance” by Genesis, and countless others.
I’ll be 47 in June, and music just doesn’t move me the way it used to. In fact, hearing “new” songs irritates me most of the time.
I’d absolutely love to be able to hear those songs “for the first time” all over again.
I would say you don’t know how it feels… but I suspect you probably do.

You guys know what an alpine coaster is? They are like a small roller coaster you find in the mountains. They are also called summer toboggans or mountain coasters and I think there’s some long German compound word they are called in parts of Europe. They are like a roller coaster, but with much smaller one or two person sleds you just sit on instead of multi-person cars you ride in, and instead of being built with like a scaffolding or a framework the tracks are just on the ground, using the elevation of the mountain. Basically it’s a coaster track on the side of a mountain where you ride a sled down.
They are pretty fun. Or at least I used to think so. They are more “personal” than roller coasters and although you get nowhere near the speed on them that you do on a good traditional roller coaster and they can’t do corkscrews or loops or anything like that the openness and simplicity of the ride gives an impression of a much greater speed. You’re just sitting there with nothing but a little plastic sled and the track between you and the ground as it goes zooming by. It’s like the difference between how fast a go-cart feels compared to how fast a sports car feels. You know the sports car goes faster but the open, simpleness of a go-cart feels a different kind of fast. There’s plenty of POV Youtube videos if you want to get the basic idea of what they are.
I used to love alpine coasters. Used to.
My family used to go to Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge and up and down the Smokey Mountains for vacations when I was a kid and they are common in that area and I’d always rode them every chance I got.
But as with so many things after I grew up and went to college they just became part of my childhood that slipped away. They aren’t exactly common once you get away from the mountains.
Until one cool spring afternoon in 2004. I was in my final year at college and I was driving back to campus in Tennessee after a short visit to my folks in North Carolina. It was only like a 4 or 5 hour drive via the most efficient route and I had no need to be back at campus early so instead of taking the freeway all the way I got off and took part of my trip through the mountains. The scenery was nicer and I admit I liked pushing my Camaro just a little faster than I should through the twisty mountain roads.
Just after lunchtime happened upon one of those little by-the-highway tourist towns deep somewhere in the Smoky Mountains near the Carolina/Tennessee border. Nothing fancy, a gas station/truck stop, a diner, a couple of places selling tourist merch nestled deep in the mountains. I pulled into the gas station. My tank was getting low and I needed to stretch my legs, maybe grab something to eat. It was still early and I only had another couple of hours. I could kill an hour or so and still make it back to campus at a decent hour.
I pulled into the gas station and was filling my tank when I happened to glance across the road and… well I’ll be damned. There it was. “The Blue Ridge Alpine Coaster.” Nestled on the side of the mountain was a building, a mockup of a red barn, where a single railed track that led up into the mountains, where it soon got lost in the greenery. Wooden hand painted standees of cartoon character bears dressed in stereotypical “Hillbilly” getup stood around, some of them holding signs showing the ride hours and ticket costs and other info. I had to admit, as silly as it was, it made me smile.I finished pumping my gas and, well, nostalgia is a helluva thing. I decided then and there I could waste a little time riding an Alpine Coaster again after all these years before getting back on the road.
I parked my car in a corner of the truck stop's parking lot, put my phone in the center console, this being the days before smart phones when people didn’t keep their phones with them 24/7 and I didn’t want my old Nokia brick phone to fall out during the ride, locked my car and walked across the mountain highway to the Alpine Coaster building.
Getting closer, the place was less inviting. The half hearted attempt at a whimsical faux-Americana kitsch was far less effective when it brushed up against the actual decaying, run down wooden building. Hell calling it a building was generous. It was a wood frame holding up a long roof that covered the area where you got on the sleds. The wood boards creaked under my footsteps.
The only real enclosed structure was a shack that held, what I assumed, was a ticket booth. A door on the side had both a single occupancy bathroom with an out of order sign on it. An old Pepsi machine buzzed and glowed next to it.
Still the place looked alive. Ahead of me a bored looking attendant was helping a mother and her young son into one of the sleds while in a bored monotone repeating the safety brief. A few people were waiting in line at the ticket booth. Up in the mountains the playful shouts of people on the ride echoed down. Fond memories of my own childhood rides flooded my mind.10 minutes and 15 dollars later I was settling into the hard plastic seat of a bright red sled sat atop a simple aluminum rail.
I couldn’t help but grin as the sled slowly climbed the track up the mountains, making click-clack ratcheting sounds that hit my nostalgia centers hard. I felt good. The air was cool and crisp and smelled of pine.Higher and higher in the mountains we went. I don’t know if this is my mind trying to make sense of it after the fact but when I remember these moments, the last good moments, I sometimes think I remember a very slight, very subtle pit of fear in my stomach. I honestly don’t know if I felt it at the time or not or it’s just how my mind tries to make sense of it looking back at.
But either way mostly I was enjoying myself. I smiled. I was a kid again. I could hear riders in front of me let out that initial yell of terrified glee you get at the first drop of any good ride.
It peaked. I glanced around. I could see for miles, rolling hills and mountains. I the sled tipped over and zoomed down the mountain and I let out the same happy yell I heard from the other passengers.The ride zoomed down the mountain, catching speed. The mountain forest floor zoomed past, only a few feet under me. Trees zoomed past. I gave out a happy whoop as the ride banked hard around a curve and then looped back under itself.Another dip, another curve. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of the G-forces pulling me every which way.
There was no one exact single moment where things started to go “wrong.” The ride kept going. And going. At this point the first creeping thought entered my head.
The ride… was still going.
It just started to hit me… this ride was going on for a really long time. I had taken a dozen rides on various coasters of this type before that day and they topped out at about 5 minutes or so, and that was the long ones. Longer than a traditional roller coaster but not that long. This one had been going on for what felt like 10, maybe even 15 minutes.
I looked back over my shoulder and could only see trees, moving too fast to really get a bearing on where I was at in relation to anything.
I wasn't exactly really worried yet. Okay so I had found a particularly long alpine coaster. At the time I wasn’t 100% wasn't sure they didn’t exist or anything like that. I was a little… unnerved but nothing was happening that was impossible. Yet.
I was trying to talk myself back into just enjoying the ride and stop overthinking it, and halfway succeeded, when out of nowhere I suddenly banked hard, the track jutting out almost over a sheer cliffside. I gripped the sled more tightly as I was whipped around. The ride then dipped hard and picked up speed, barreling down the side of the mountain.
I was pushed back against the seat by the force of the drop. Jesus I didn’t remember them being this rough. I was feeling slightly nauseous. And where had this elevation drop come from I wondered? I was still in the foothills and I didn’t remember seeing anything but gentle rolling hills and light drops from looking at the ride’s route earlier. How the ride had managed such a long, steep drop in this area I didn’t know. . For the first time I hoped that the ride would be over soon. I had no idea then how much I would want that same hope to be true so much more as time went on.
With a whiplash motion I was whipped forward and then back as the ride leveled out on flat ground again, but by this point I was going fast, too fast. My neck hurt from the mild whiplash and I felt sour in my throat and for a moment the contents of my stomach threatened to come back up. For the first, but hardly the last time the ride felt unsafe. Alpine Coasters are tame affairs, much slower and gentler than full on roller coasters but this thing was throwing me around like no thrill ride I had ever been on.
I looked around. I mean I wasn’t that deep into the woods. I should have been able to see a glimpse of something; the highway, the gas station, the tourist shops, the Alpine Coaster office, something, anything. But nothing. Just trees.
I forced back some panic for the first time. I closed my eyes and counted to ten. The ride zoomed along. I counted to 60. I counted to 60 again. And again. Okay this was getting uncomfortably harder and harder to explain.
Suddenly I noticed that up ahead the track seemed to just end, for one brief, terrible moment I thought the track just ended but I was wrong. Almost without warning the track dipped in an almost vertical drop. I almost screamed as I plummeted for 20, maybe 30 seconds before flattening out again.
By this point the voice in my head that was telling me something was wrong was louder and I could no longer tell myself it was wrong. This ride could not have been this long. I tried to make sense of it, wondering if somehow I had gotten diverted onto some kind of maintenance track or, hell for one brief irrational moment even entertaining the idea that I had wound up on an actual train track somehow. But that was absurd. The rail below me was not a train track, it was still just the simple, aluminum rail of an alpine coaster and there had been no diversions or junctions in the track. I was still on the ride, as insane as that was starting to feel. Had the ride somehow looped? Again after having the thought I immediately dismissed it as crazy. There’s no way I could have missed the ride building where I got on. And what kind of ride loops over and over?
The sled zoomed through the forest, oddly never seeming to lose speed despite the relatively flat grade of the track. I cursed myself for leaving my phone in the car and not wearing a watch. I don’t know exactly how long I had been on the ride at that point but it felt like I had been on the ride for a half hour, maybe more. But time is a funny thing when you’re in a situation you’ve never been in. Could have been more, could have been less, at that point.
My pride finally failed me. I started to scream for help. I screamed out that the ride was broken, to stop it, that I needed help. I did that for about ten minutes or so I think. The ride kept going. Mostly flat, level track with occasional mild dips and turns. But the simple length of the ride grew more and more unnerving and unexplainable.
I thought about just bailing out. But the ride, impossibly, was still not slowing down and chunks of mountain rock and thick tree trunks were all around me. Bailing out without risking smashing into a rock or a tree seemed impossible.
The ride kept going.
Up ahead the forest was clearing out some, I could see the forest brightening, more sunlight making it through the canopy.
I wasn’t prepared for what I saw.
The trees stopped and I had just enough time to take in a flat, open area of rock maybe 40, 50 yards at most before another sheer cliff. The tracks twisted and turned and then shot straight down. But that wasn’t the worst of it. For a moment, a very short moment, I had a clear view for miles and the landscape was, to be blunt, totally impossible. Any possibility that I had just stumbled on some incredibly long ride was blasted out of my head. Barren, volcanic looking rock stretched for miles. Jagged, black rocky outcroppings as far as the eye could see. I was in the goddamn Smoky Mountains. They don’t look like that.
I had a few moments for the terror of that view to settle in before the cart plunged into another horrifying drop. I gripped the handles of the cheap plastic sled until my knuckles turned white. The drop felt completely vertical, like I was falling at terminal velocity. I screamed. My stomach dropped and turned. I imagined the sled coming away from the track and me just plummeting screaming to my death on the rocks below. But somehow the ride still functioned. I closed my eyes tightly and just waited for whatever was going to happen. Eventually after several what felt like a full minute of steep plunging the track again leveled out, and I opened my eyes to see myself moving at breakneck speed over that black, rocky landscape.
Now that I was moving on a more or less flat horizontal track again I took a few deep breaths. I looked over the edge of the track. Nothing but that black, jagged rock, almost looking like obsidian, zooming past. I had no idea how fast the sled was moving now. Fast. Faster than a gravity powered sled should be moving. And the track was higher off the ground now. Alpine slides usually stick pretty close to the ground, but I was 20 feet or so in the air, the track suspended in the air, a simple metal tube tower like a power pylon every few yards.
Without any immediate threat and the sled moving fast but steadily and level I was able to think about my situation again, for all the good that did me. Ahead of me the track just continued to the horizon, nothing but the same rocky landscape as far as I could see. I craned my neck to look back over my shoulder and looked back behind me and it looked the same. Even the mountains were but distant specs on the horizon behind me.
This was insane. There’s not a giant seemingly endless field of black jagged rock in the goddamn Smoky Mountains. There’s no cliff faces tall and steep enough for a multi-minute vertical drop. And alpine coasters were small affairs, not major engineering projects that span miles with pylons and vertical tracks. It made no sense.
Sadly it wasn’t going to start making any more sense anytime soon.
The ride kept going.
I was on this rocky landscape for several hours. I feel comfortable saying this because I could actually notice the sun getting lower in the sky. And the sled wasn’t slowing down despite the grade of the track being flat. I was getting cramped from sitting and stretched my legs and twisted my back as best I could. Didn’t do much help. My eyes were starting to get irritated from the constant wind in them. Worst of all it was starting to get chilly. I only had on a light jacket, a windbreaker, just something to keep the breeze off me, no real insulation. I was cold, my joints were stiff, I was hungry and thirsty. My eyes watered and my throat was so dry it was sore.
But none of that was as bad as just how little sense this all made. There’s nothing like this place anywhere near the Smoky Mountains. This was like some volcanic rock landscape. The more I thought about it the less sense it made.
The ride kept going.
My mind didn’t even try to process this. Whatever I was experiencing simply couldn’t be possible. I was crazy. I was dreaming. The CIA had kidnapped me and dosed me with some new version of LSD and I was in a straightjacket in a padded room at Area 51.
The sled kept zooming along as the sky turned to dusk. Soon the bridge disappeared from my view and I continued on along the endless, rocky, featureless landscape.
I sat back against the sled, mentally and physically numb. I was exhausted. I was thirsty. I was cramping up. I was hungry. I had to pee. I held it for as long as I could, then had no choice but just wet myself. I cried until I had no more tears left. Then I just sat there.
The ride kept going.
By the time the sun dipped below the horizon my throat felt like sandpaper. I dug around in my jacket pockets hoping to find a stick of gum or piece of candy. Nothing. I checked again, having nothing else to do. Under a crumpled store receipt in the inner pocket of my jacket was a single old, forgotten cough drop. I unwrapped it from the paper and popped it in my mouth. Saliva flooded back into my mouth and I was overwhelmed by the methanol and medicine taste. It was something at least, although I knew it would be a brief and temporary fix at best.
I felt my eyes get heavy. It was getting colder. That mountain cold. That deep cold the mountains have even into the early spring when the sun goes down. That kind that just pulls the heat right out of you. I shivered. A terrible, horrible certainty came to me. I would ride until I passed out from exhaustion or the hypothermia set in. My body would tumble off the sled to fall and skip across the rocky ground like a stone skipping across a lake, my bones breaking as I tumbled until my body finally came to a stop. If I was lucky I would be killed and not have to lie for days, broken and bruised, on the ground until death took me.
The ride kept going. The ride kept going. The fucking ride kept going.
“Fuck you” I said to the ride, my voice a horse whisper. I pulled my jacket closer around me, for all the good it did. The cold wind was slowly but surely pulling my body heat away. My shivering got worse, crossing the line from a simple normal shiver into those deep, almost violent full body ones.. I wasn’t anything you could call an experienced outdoorsman, but I knew enough to know that wasn’t a good sign.
It was getting dark. There was a full moon at least so I wasn’t totally in the dark.
About then I noticed something. The landscape, what little I could see in the fading light, was changing. It was smoothing out, becoming less rocky and craggy. Up ahead an odd, shimmering light was starting to appear on the ground.
I was over it before I even realized what it was. The tracks were going over a smooth surface.
Water. It was a lake. The odd lights I had seen were the moon, reflected in ripples on the lake.
Within minutes I was out of the view of the land. After the nearly endless rocky landscape and everything else I had seen, it scared me how little I was shocked. I didn’t like how mentally numb I was getting. I leaned over. There was enough moonlight to see the water, 15 or 20 feet below the track. The pylons holding up the track went into the water, the light wasn’t good enough to even make a guess at how far they went down or how deep the water was.I leaned back in the sled. My eyes were red and bloodshot from the constant wind. I closed them. This was a mistake.I jerked awake. I don’t know if I dozed off for a split second or an hour. My weight had shifted and I caught myself as my center of gravity was in danger of sending me off the sled and into the water.
I screamed in anger. A deep primal scream. I hurt so bad. My joints felt like they were full of glass. My limbs were full of pins and needles. I glanced over at the water. For the first time on the very edges of my brain a tiny voice started to speak up, telling me that I could be all over if I just jumped. I shut the voice up, but it scared me still.
I sat there as the ride went on. It felt like hours. Eventually the lake ended in a rocky shore line. The damned ride. There was no safe place to bail out. If the ride slowed down, it was high in the air, if it moved toward the ground it sped up. Sharp rocks, big trees, nothing you could safely bail out into.
I kept having to force myself awake. I kept dozing off. Once I felt myself falling asleep and drove a vicious uppercut into my own nose to stave it off.
I seriously started to think about how much longer I could hang on. The voice came back again. This time I didn’t shut it up. I wasn’t admitting it to myself yet, but I was starting to think about the best way to land that would end it quickly if I needed to.
Something was ahead. The track seemed to dip into the ground. I was too tired, too beaten to even get scared. I was just resigned to whatever happened at this point.
With little warning the track took my sled into a tunnel in the ground. Everything went completely pitch black. After several moments even the dim moonlight was gone.
This was the worst part. The creepy forest, the immense rocky landscape, the eerie lake… those were bad. But this was just nothing. Nothing to look at, nothing to hear, nothing for reference or sense of where I was going. The walls of the tunnel felt like they were inches from me in every direction. The air felt thick, like there wasn’t enough oxygen.
With every moment I was in that tunnel I lost a little more hope. After a long, long time I made a decision. When I got out of this tunnel, I would jump. I didn’t care anymore. Hopefully there would be a spot where I could be certain the fall would instantly kill me. I was done. The ride had beaten me. I sat there, waiting for a chance to end this on my terms. That was all I had left.
Eventually up ahead, a tiny speck of light appeared. I gathered my strength, ready to end it. I sat up, getting my legs under me so I could jump as soon as we were clear. The sled burst out of the tunnel. The dim light of the full moon was enough to be momentarily blinding after the pitch black of the tunnel.. I gave my eyes a moment to adjust.
I was back in a normal looking Appalachian forest. Rolling hills, green trees. The air smelled of pine again. I heard an owl hoot off somewhere.
Slowly I lowered myself back into a setting position, in shock. At first I refused to believe it but the ride was slowing down. I held still, making sure my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me, but no, the cheap plastic sled that had been my world for what felt like an eternity was slowing down.
Up ahead, a structure was visible, peeking out from among the trees in the dim lighting as the sled moved down the track.
It was the Alpine Slide building. The crappy fake red barn where I had boarded this cursed ride so long ago. I blinked and rubbed my eyes, sure it was either my mind or the cursed ride playing tricks with me. But the building stayed there.
It grew closer and closer. The track leveled completely out. The sled slowed down more. Before I had the time to really come to terms with it I arrived back at the building.
The sled slowed to a stop, gently pumping against another sled parked on the track. I sat there for a few moments, gasping in great big gulping fear breaths, trying to assure myself the ride didn’t have one last trick of its sleeve.
I looked around. The place was empty, deserted. The overhead lights were still on and the old Pepsi machine still glowed and buzzed, but the ticket booth was dark and empty, a metal gate pulled down over the ticket window.
Suddenly it hit me that I was free and I practically leapt out of the sled and onto the platform. I immediately collapsed. My legs were jelly and my head was spinning. I tried to stand up again and doubled over, dry heaving. Have you ever been out on a boat for a day and have that weird reverse motion sickness when you’re back on solid land? It was like that times a hundred. My inner ear was literally pounding, all the motion had really done a number on it.
I laid there for a few moments and eventually forced myself to stand up on my two wobbling legs. I looked around, a horrible certainty creeping into my mind that there would be no exit, no way off the platform but to my relief an exit turnstyle, one of those full height ones, was set into the fence that surrounded the ride property.
I went through it and found myself back on the main road. The truckstop was still there, still open but far less busy. My car sat in the same corner of the parking lot I had left it.
I allowed myself one look back, just one quick one. The metal skeleton of the Alpine Slide track sat there, dark and quiet but otherwise normal.
I stumbled-ran back to my car, dug the keys out of my pocket, and collapsed inside. When the door shut I let out a primal scream, the tons of fear and confusion and anger all fusing into a single, raw emotion. I screamed again and again.
After a few moments I felt like I was emotionally at least back to a place where I could act, although I wasn’t sure yet what to do next. Not really knowing what to do I cranked the car. The A/C had been on low when I shut off the car and it came roaring back to life and cold air blowing on me almost sent me back into a full on panic attack. I fumbled with the climate controls until the air stopped blowing directly on me, then calmed down enough to turn the heat on, helping to get the chill out of my bones. There was a half full bottle of water in the center console cup holder and I grabbed it and chugged it. Nothing ever tasted as good before or sense as that few ounces of water.
That was when I noticed the clock on the radio head unit. It was 4:17 in the morning. It had been about one, one thirty or so in the afternoon when I got on the accursed ride.
Over 15 hours. I had been on the goddamn ride for over 15 hours. Over half a day.
I just sat there. Warming up. Calming down. I was exhausted. I was dehydrated. I can’t even describe how my head felt. I probably had at least a minor case of hypothermia. I thought about going into the gas station and asking for help but what would I even say, and more than anything I just wanted to get away from this place. And I just wanted to get away. I wanted to be nowhere near that damn ride.
I put the Camaro in gear and pulled into the street and in panic I immediately slammed on the brakes. I was lucky there was no traffic on the road at that moment. The feeling of accelerating to just normal surface street speeds made me sick to my stomach. I gathered myself and very slowly accelerated the car I usually treated with a very heavy foot up to 30 miles an hour. Every time I tried to accelerate at a pace faster than “Old Lady Going to Church, Uphill” I would have a panic attack. I was okay once I was up to speed, but accelerating freaked me out after being on that ride.
I drove about 30 minutes, putting some arbitrary amount of distance between myself and the coaster. Eventually I made it back to where the twisty mountain road met back up with a major road that would eventually meet back up with the highway. After a few more minutes of driving I saw the onramp for the highway. There was one of those big truckstop travel plazas and pulled in, parking right up at the door. I smelled like pee and I can only imagine how I looked, but I didn’t care.
I kept a couple of emergency 20s in the back of my wallet and spent it on the biggest bottle of water the store had, an overpriced bottle of eye drops, and a huge travel mug of coffee. The clerk looked at me as if he was expecting me to either drop dead or rob him the entire time.
Back in my car I downed the coffee. I put a few eye drops in each of my eyes and sat there as the caffeine took effect until I felt like I could make it back to my apartment. The sun was just coming up when I finally pulled out of the truck stop and got on the freeway. I slowly, very slowly, accelerated up to highway speed, put the Camaro in cruise control, and let the miles start to drift away. I turned on the radio, I needed to hear human voices. Every time my mind went back to what had just happened I turned the radio up louder, eventually drowning it out with painful levels of rock music. I wasn’t ready to think about it yet. Yes looking back I know I was just in denial. I finally made it back to the crappy little apartment I had off campus, a little two story walk up studio. I let myself in and collapsed on the cheap couch. I was asleep before I even had the time to decide whether or not to do anything else. I woke up later that afternoon. I took a shower and ate a meal and didn’t think about the ride. I washed the pee stained filthy clothes I had been wearing and didn’t think about the ride. I went back to class and didn’t think about the ride. Every time I thought about the ride I forced it out of my head. I’m sure this wasn’t the most mentally healthy thing to do but what can you say?
I didn’t forget about it, don’t be silly. This isn’t the kind of thing you forget. One day while looking up something else in the university’s library my curiosity got the better of me and I looked up the Alpine Slide. No website but a few Google Map and Yelp mentions. None of them mentioned anything weird, certainly nothing even remotely like what I experienced. Near as I can tell it closed sometimes in the winter of 2012.
Life went on. I mean, that’s what it does. The next day was a little better. And the day after that a little better. And the day after that a little better still. I met a nice girl. Graduated. Got married. Got a nice house in the suburbs. Got a dog. Had a daughter. Spent a lot of time happy and not thinking about being trapped on an endless alpine coaster.And that was my life for many, many years after that.
Until a few weeks back when as a very different person I found myself driving a boring and safe mid sized family SUV through those same mountains. My wife Carol, 5 months pregnant, sat in the passenger seat, our 6 year old daughter Emily in a booster seat in the back, and Max our mixed breed mutt next to her. It had been a nice pleasant trip, driving back from visiting her folks.
I hadn’t thought about that fucking ride in so long I barely registered that I was in the same general area until it was too late. Suddenly I realized that little mountain tourist trap town was only a few minutes down the road. I swallowed hard and gripped the steering wheel hard. Carol was looking out the window at the scenery and Emily was deep into some kid’s Youtube video on an iPad. I forced myself to keep my breath steady as we rounded the corner.The town was still there, sorta. Time had not been kind to it. The gas station was still there, at some point it had been bought out by Shell. The tourist trap shops were still there. One of them was now a vape shop. The diner was closed, the building looking like it sat unused for a long time.
But of course that’s not what I cared about. A looked over at the site where the Alpine Coaster once stood. It was gone. The kitschy fake barn was gone. The site was just a bare concrete slab with a chainlink fence around it. Faded “no trespassing” and “for sale” signs hung off the fence. A pile of old, decaying lumber that might have once long ago been part of the structure covered part of the old lot. No sign of the track remained outside of some old concrete support posts dotting the side of the mountain.
I exhaled out a breath I hadn’t even realized I had been holding in. Soon the little town disappeared in my rear view mirror.
About a half hour later we stopped for gas. I pulled up to a gas pump across from a massive motorhome. Max stuck his head out the window and started barking at a little white dog, a toy breed of some kind, in the window of the motorhome. Carol and Emily immediately headed into the store to restock on snacks while I fueled up.
I stood there, a half smile on my lips as Max barked and wagged his tail in an attempt to attract the attention of the other dog while I filled up the tank, said dog doing an admirable job of ignoring him.
Right about the time I finished fueling up and cleaning the bugs off the windshield Carol returned from inside the store, Emily in tow, arms filled with two full sized bags of Salt and Vinegar Potato Chips and what looked to be a half dozen individually wrapped pickles.
I raised an eyebrow at the collection of food but knew better than to question a pregnant woman's snack choices.
“Should we take Max for a quick walk?” Carol asked. The travel plaza had a nice little gated dog walking area off to the side.
“Yeah probably not a bad idea, he’s been cooped up in the car for a few hours.” I said. Max, upon hearing his name and the word “walk” , forgot about the other dog and upgraded from wagging his tail to wagging his entire body while making whining sounds and staring right at me.
About this time I became half aware that the big motor home next to us was pulling away. I didn’t think much of it, outside of doing a quick automatic mental check to make sure Emily was well clear of the moving vehicle, but she was safely between me and our SUV, well out of the way.
But that was when Emily looked behind me and cheerfully yelled “Daddy look a roller coaster! Can I ride the coaster?”
It’s cliche as fuck I know but my blood went cold.
I turned around slowly, certain in my knowledge that terrible old decrepit Alpine Coaster would be there, having just popped into existence to trap me again.
That.. is not what I saw. Sure enough there was a coaster there, one I hadn’t noticed earlier because it had mostly been blocked by the motor home, but there it was. It was even an Alpine Coaster.
But it was not the same coaster I had encountered those years ago. That was immediately obvious. It was a small but modern and newish looking setup with neon lights and a bunch of people. There was an actual building where you bought tickets and a little snack stand.
“Daddy! Can we go on the coaster!” Emily asked again.
My mouth made motions but no words came out. I glanced over at Carol, hoping she’d say we didn’t have time but to my horror she smiled and said “You know what? That does sound like fun. Daddy will take you while I take Max for a walk.”
My mind raced, trying to think of a way to get out of it. But Emily was already dragging me across the parking lot to the entrance.
I patted my pocket, making sure my phone was in it. Every fiber of my being was screaming to run away. I slept walked through the line and the ticket booth while Emily bounced happily.
We got into a two seat plastic sled. This one was actually a lot nicer than the one my mind wouldn’t stop thinking about. It had two nice cushioned seats, big grab handles, even a nice rollbar.
The sled started up the track. I fought back the panic. I swerved my head around, keeping the building in my view. I was terrified of losing sight of it. We made it to the top and Emily did a happy squeal as we started down the side of the mountain.
My heart raced. Any second, any second my mind told me we’d lose sight of the building and then the ride would never end. The ride sped down the mountain. My mind tortured me with thoughts of not only going through it again, but seeing Emily go through it. The ride went around a big, banking turn. Emily kept shouting happily. How long before Carol reported us missing I wondered? Could I keep Emily calm? What if it lasted even longer this time? What if this time it never ended?
And then we were back at the start of the ride. The same attendant who had helped us into the sled was helping Emily out. I stepped out. The attendant gave me a brief look but said nothing. I guess I looked a little wild eyed.
I was fine. Emily was fine. It had been a perfectly normal, fun ride.
“That was fun Daddy! Thank you!” Emily said. I forced a smile back. “It was fun.” I responded, hoping like I sounded like I meant it.
I took Emily’s hand and we walked back to the car. Max saw us coming and barked happily. Carol looked up from the pint of Ben and Jerry’s she had somehow acquired and added to her snack collection while we were gone and smiled at us.
“Did you have fun?” she asked.
“It was so fun Mommy!” Emily said.
Carol smiled down at her, but then looked at me and frowned. “Are you okay?” Carol could read my face a lot better than the attendant could. “You’re pale.”
I smiled and this time the smile felt real. “Ya know what. Yeah, I think I am okay.”
Carol looked a little puzzled, but didn’t press it. We loaded Emily back in her booster seat, stopped Max from trying desperately to eat half a discarded gas station hot dog off the ground and got him back in the car. Carol and her small collection of snack food took her place in the passenger seat and I got in the driver's seat.I smiled. I cranked the car. I put it in gear. I pulled out of the gas station and back on the road, this time accelerating just a little faster than I had in years.

Imagine being told the house would take 10-13 months to build. And then imagine being assigned a crappy construction manager named Kevin Thornton and waiting 18+ months for the completion of your home, who seemed to only been hired because his brother Chris Thornton was already a construction manager for the company.
Being told 4 false closing dates. Having to lose a good interest rate because they don’t know how to build a house within a reasonable time. I’ve seen whole apartment complexes built in the time we’ve been waiting.
Having to reach out to said construction manager and the sale consultant Zac Davidson every single month to get an update when you were told you would get an update roughly every two weeks. Being lied to every single month. Trish is also a dishonest unprofessional woman who constantly dodges phone calls and lies about everything.
Finding a crappy job being done in the primary bathroom shower and them having to rip it out and start over again, because part of the shower wall was bowing out into a triangle shape and the small square tiles were not flat and straight with tons of extra grout around them. Having a crappy grading job where 1/3 of the back yard is unusable. And nothing can be done about it, Holiday Builders just loves cheap labor.
Going through a full roll of blue painters tape to point out all the flaws in the construction, where the manager will run out of tape, but luckily we brought some to continue using half the roll. And they still didn’t fix everything the first go around, where we had to call them back multiple times to fix the issues described at the first walkthrough, after closing. You’ll find paint on every single door handle in the house. And paint splatter all over your floors. Different caulking colors used on the countertops right next to each other. You’ll ask them to paint the water access water into the home because it looked like crap the first time and then they’ll make it worse and also paint the grass and gutter runoff as well because they simple don’t give a hoot about anything.
They even had to rip up two parts of the yard to have water and septic lines in place inspected because they forgot and now we’re stuck with even more shitty grading and yard work because of that.
They’ll schedule exterior stuff after laying sod down that end up leaving the yard dug up and not manicured and looking like trash. And then you’ll wait weeks for them to come fix it.
They give you a smart door lock that’s supposed to come with the Rekeying tool, but they won’t give it to you for unspecified reasons, even though you paid for it. You’ll ask if the front door lock is a smart/Wi-Fi compatible one. They’ll say no, but after reading the manual you’ll find out it is. They don’t even know how the products they’re installing works!
Being told a shower door for the primary bathroom isn’t even included after finding out 1 week before closing, seems like their architects failed physics, because water still gets out the shower with a door there if it’s it recessed. Finding out that something as inexpensive as cabinet handles are not included and finding out after the first walkthrough that they’re an “expensive upgrade”, when it was never mentioned during the upgrades selection. Why would I upgrade to 42” upper cabinets and soft close but not op for handles, does that make sense to you. Paying nearly 400k for a house and they can’t even do these simple thing’s correctly or offer these simple things as standard. What if someone had a disability and opening cabinets without handles is extremely difficult for them. Holiday Builders doesn’t give a single hoot about you if that’s the case.
When blinds and a refrigerator and a washer and dryer and a garage door openers are already not included. I would expect the said things above be STANDARD! And a sales consultant that only cares about his paycheck and his ego, than the customer named Zac Davidson, who won’t let you know certain basic things are an upgrade. Zac Davidson is a man that gets his feelings hurt when he gets caught in a lie and starts to be disrespectful when he doesn’t agree with something you’re trying to explain to him.
Holiday builders doesn’t care about the customer. They only care about their wallets. They’ll rush to get the CO before having everything installed. In hopes of you signing before notice they put a hole in your drywall while installing your shelves. Or better yet the construction manager won’t even walkthrough the house prior to have any touch ups or fixes done before the first walk through. We found out our water heater wasn’t even hooked up correctly after closing. Holiday Builders are real comedians.
The trades that they hire can’t even get simple things done like paint and caulking and not painting the floor and door handles, we basically covered the whole house in blue tape and only 50% of it was taken care it. 50% of the trims around the door frames were missing paint and the other 50% looked like a blind man painted the door frames, thick goops of paint and splatter everywhere. They’ll even make sure the caulking where the base boards meet the dry wall has spider web cracking in every single ROOM. Every single one of these trades and construction managers need glasses because I do not honestly understand how you can be proud of your work and let customers find this type of garbage work.
We were so fed up with this process we ended up just fixing all of the issues ourselves. Don’t build with them unless you’re okay with paying for upgrades on basic things that should be standard and you’ll have to ask the construction managers like they’re a 4th grader if they completed their homework. And having to do all the basic touch ups yourselves. It’s extremely frustrating and sad that I can’t be excited about being my first home because of this shitty fucking experience. Also any response to this review will be taken as passive aggressive, if you state that this was taken care of because it wasn’t, everything still looks like shit.
The plumbers and septic company they use suck too. We’re still dealing with sewage smells in our home that they can’t figure out. Constant back ups due to poor plumbing ventilation and workmanship. The plumbers came to investigate and didn’t even have any of the right tools or equipment to do anything and had to borrow my equipment. If you’re wondering which clowns they use. Naber Plumbing and Brain David Septic.
They even under size the AC unit tonnage for the home. Your AC will run for 18 hours a day. I found that they didn’t even seal the area for where the cold air comes out the air handler. It was just blowing all the cold air into the AC room and into the attic. Mechanical One don’t know what they’re doing and Holiday Builder takes shortcuts everywhere they can with undersizing your AC unit and going with the cheapest labor.
Every single builder in the area builds homes faster than these clowns.
Holiday Builders suck. Ever heard the saying lazy people work twice. Everything about their workmanship is trash. The construction managers do not inspect work done by the trades after it is completed. Their scheduling sucks too. They lie about everything, every step of the way. Don’t build with them. We’re still finding issues every single damn day with this house. Don’t make the mistake of building with Holiday Builders. Build with Maronda or anyone else other than this clowns. Zac Davison sucks. Trish sucks. Chris Thornton sucks and his brother Kevin Thornton sucks even more, Steve Pettko sucks. Chris Cubillos Suck.

Hey all, I'm considering going to Mac next year and one of its major perks is the EREA (Engineering Research Experience Award) I had recieved as part of my offer
However, the award is conditional based off my first year avg being at least a 9.5cgpa. How feasible is it to maintain that high of a grade? Do you know anyone who couldn't and lost the award?

Yesterday I had a conversation with my family about feeling isolated and wanting to go back to school and they said I can return to school, but first i need to re-build the relationship with my mother because I haven't been speaking with her these past couple of months.
I don't really want to talk about everything that happened but basically I got pulled out in the 7th grade because I was struggling in school (me and a classmate were not getting along and i kept getting a "C" in two or three of my classes) and i was getting molested at home and i didnt speak up about any of these issues which led me to harming myself as a way to cope. My mother tried to help me by asking me what was wrong but i didn't speak up about it so she would beat me and threaten to abandon me and move on with her life in an attempt to get me to stop harming myself. I struggled to get over her abusing me not just physically and threatening me to abandon me but also sexually since she would>! pressure me into modeling lingerie for her, grope me, and say suggestive things about me.!< I would constantly tell her to stop>! touching and saying stuff about me!< and she would stop but it would always start back up a while later so i would isolate myself in my room for a couple of days so she would get the message. This led me to holding a grudge over her head when really I couldve just moved on from the abuse and forgive her. I forgive her for everything shes done in the past it was all my fault and she was just trying to help me, although its a little frustrating how my family acts like none of the abuse never happened and that I'm lying to make myself look like a victim.
I also spoke to them about my issues with communication and how homeschooling and being isolated for several years took a huge toll on me but my mother thinks its all BS and that its impossible to lose social skills overtime and that I was bad at socializing in the first place. I did struggle with socialization during my early years of elementary school but as I got older I got better at socializing and I made several friends in the 4th grade, 5th grade, and in middle school. Whenever I try to open up about this with my therapist my mother speaks over me and says that I never had friends in the first place and that im antisocial. She does the same thing whenever I try to bring up the abuse in the past she says none of it is true and I'm just trying to make her look like the bad guy. It's frustrating but its whatever.
I'm having difficulties processing my emotions right now. A HUGE part of me feels stupid because I basically wasted 5 years of my life and the only person i can blame is myself, a small part of me feels happy that i can return to school and live a somewhat normal life, and I also feel sad at the same time since next year will be my senior year so I feel like i missed out on a lot. All I have to do at this point is re-build our relationship and then I can get my devices back, speak to my friends again, and return to public school. Although, every year I tell my mother that I want to return to school and she says I can but at the last minute she makes up an excuse as to why I cannot return to public school so I REALLY REALLY hope that she'll let me go this year.

Hey everyone,
I applied to engineering common first year at the UofC and did not get a conditional offer as my grade 11 avg was low (84). My projected avg for gr12 will be 88% with Math 31. Do you think I'll get in for the re-evaluation in june?

Someone prank called my job today and they happened to be dumb enough to use their real phone number to do it (the CID matched the codes assigned to the city I work in). They kept me tied up on the phone pretending to be interested in hot dogs and trying to gaslight me into giving them a discount, eventually saying they need "500 hot dogs because they have some very hungry twinks to feed." At this point I hear someone in the back laughing so I tell them I'm going to hang up if they keep screwing with me. I don't get the chance because they hang up first.
Now I'm super annoyed by this because it's a busy Saturday and I have other things I need to do, also, what adult spends their time prank calling random businesses and is dumb enough to not even *69 their number?
So I pulled the caller ID off the phone and ran a reverse lookup, found the guy's name, verified that he lived in the area with Facebook, and used all that info to sign him up for calls and newsletters from the jehovahs witnesses. If he calls back while I'm here I'll ask how he likes his newfound religion.

It's been a little while, so time to repost this:
On principle I would say just don't buy a Razer product, but if you are going to, make sure you buy it directly from them, they have a loophole in the warranty policy so they don't have to honor claims for most products purchased on Amazon. I got a Razer Naga X as a gift for my birthday, and after about a year it developed a bunch of scroll wheel bounce (going up when I scroll down and vice-versa) and then one of the thumb buttons stopped registering consistently, so I filed a support ticket, and they told me they wouldn't be honoring the manufacturer's warranty b/c it was sold by an 'unauthorized reseller'. The problem is that it was bought on Amazon (which IS listed as an authorized reseller - my girlfriend, who purchased it, had made sure to check that) but apparently there are TONS of '3rd party sellers' that make up the vast majority of the Amazon listings, even Prime listings (something I didn't even know until all of this) and apparently that gives them a loophole to not honor the warranty. I did a search on Amazon for the same mouse, and it wasn't till the 7th result that I found one that wasn't through one of these storefronts. Most of these storefronts are 'Amazon' sales anyways, it's a way for Amazon to outsource the work of creating listings and marketing without hiring people as actual employees - the 'seller' doesn't store or ship the product - all of that is Amazon - they are just getting a cut of the sale for creating the posting/bringing in business. And, by the way, none of this came up when I successfully registered the mouse on the Razer website upon receiving it.
The entire attempt at the warranty claim was a huge mess that took over six weeks, with a TON of back and forth where they promised to take care of me, only for that to be vetoed by the back office (at least three or four different times as the ticket got escalated) ... First, they told me that I had to contact the seller, that they had first obligation on a replacement, but I was told "I guarantee that we have your back on this" and to come back to Razer support if the seller declined to replace it or didn't respond. Well, the seller didn't respond, and when I contacted Razer again, they said 'Sorry, sucks to be you' (paraphrase, lol).
So... I did a bit of research to see if that was even legal and found an instance where someone raised a stink on Reddit and Razer ended up replacing their device... so I did the same thing; the official Razer account quickly reached out and reopened the ticket, support contacted me asking for a photo of the mouse to verify the serial number (and said they'd process the replacement if the number checked out - which it did)... two days later I got a response saying.. they'd get back to me in two days. Another two days later I got another email saying 'Sorry, that's out of the warranty period' (it's not, it was slightly over one year into a two year warranty) I responded with proof of this, their reply completely ignored the warranty timeframe issue and just went back to the 'unauthorized reseller' line. They also told me that there was no repair option, but if I subscribe to their newsletter I can get $10 of my next purchase and a whole bunch of other marketing spam, which was just salt in the wound if you ask me. I contacted the Reddit account again to tell them how useless and frustrating that had been and they responded that I should "keep replying so the ticket doesn't auto-close from inactivity"... pretty pointless if you ask me since they are dead set on not honoring the warranty. I did keep the ticket open for a while anyways, but they started to auto-respond with the same boilerplate response.
Every other warranty claim I have ever made has been based on the serial number and whether the defect was the result of misuse or happened through normal use. This has been the most absurd experience I've ever had with a company's customer support / warranty department; I certainly will never do business w/ Razer again, and I'd recommend the same to everyone else.
Apparently, they want my experience to be an example of their customer experience, since, in their own words: "as much as we would like to proceed in replacing your device, we're afraid that the Warranty Policy we have in place is too important, as it will remind all customers that Razer has exclusions and limitations on its warranty." So... I'm going to continue to share it with as many people as I can. The ironic thing is that they have probably spent more money on payroll dealing with me than they would have if just honored the warranty in the first place (and they would have continued to get positive word-of-mouth from me instead of these PSAs - I'm quite active in the endgame community of a major MMO, I host a lot of training runs and am constantly recommending that new player go get an MMO mouse for all the extra buttons - I used to sing praises about Razer mice before this, my first Razer mouse lasted almost eight years - but now I tell them to get anything but a Razer)

Just another fun little story idea I had. I am still working on Humans are the violent ones but I like to bounce around and experiment with ideas to see what I really like. I also suck at writing more casual stories, as they give me severe writer's block as I try to map out how to make a scene feel genuine in my head, but I promise I'll update that soon. If you like this story and want to see more, then like and comment. I'll gladly continue this series as well.
Start of Personal Log
Humans don't like being told what to do. They don't like being commanded, put in their place, or snubbed. It was an inexorable, inalienable trait of humans, at least any noteable humans, to go against any authority that they believed was against their interests.
Humanity would not fit amongst the stars. Few ever did. It was a trait of most successful species to be willful, ambitious, and to desire more. But once they reached the stars the new (and simultaneously very old) pecking order either quashed any spirit such species had or simply eradicated them. Countless tomb worlds and diaspora served as painful reminders of what became of the nails that chose to stick out. The hammer of order would always strike. There could be no compromise, the very soul of the authority that held the Jurisdiction together relied on a show of unmatched power, or at least the illusion of item.
In reality, the Jurisdiction was an old, fat, and lazy beast. It filled its belly on the corpses of empires far and wide, and sated its bloodlust on the shattered dreams of hopeful cubs. It had every right to, for none could challenge it: there were no new frontiers to explore, nor were there any other enemies to conquer. The Milky Way, as humans had so strangely dubbed our cradle galaxy, as well as Andromeda, had long since been warred over and settled for millennia before humanity had arrived, bright-eyed and with familiar yet otherwise foolish dreams of cooperation and prosperity. The Jurisdiction did not cooperate, nor did it ensure prosperity. Oh, it claimed it did, but in reality it simply took. The rest was just the peace that came with not being the direct target of the biggest fish in the pond. The humans didn't like that, but they had no choice.
Slavery was a common tribute. The Jurisdiction had no use for other resources: it simply took. No, it wanted those who could facilitate that unequal exchange, those raised in a world where the only morality was the one set by your lord. The Jurisdiction was held together by expectations, obligations, and dury more than any kind of shared dream, so when you were ordered to take you did so without question. Humanity was new: they had no niche or value that set them apart, but they had a penchant for killing and taking, so the Jurisdiction gave them a taste of how the galaxy worked. They killed and they took. The humans didn't like that, but what choice did they have?
Humans were strange. They learned, but not in the way most species learned. Most species learned to adapt in a passive way, to adhere to the world around them. They flowed like water, moving past and around obstacles and confirming to the boxes they were assigned too. Humans didn't confirm, nor did they adapt: they made their circumstances fit their desires. They would not move around obstacles, but rather smash through them, and they refused to stay in one box for too long. The Jurisdiction merely saw them as a particularly loud nuisance, but those who faced their wrath knew better.
It is said that when a beast seeks to make an example, it shall humble its rival by killing it's cubs. Children were one of those universal constants that brought entire communities together: the Sok’klar saw their hatchlings as gifts, shaped by the fruitful currents of the universe in perfect harmony. The Yarrack saw each and every newborn whelp as an uncut gemstone, ready to be shaped into something magical. Humanity oftentimes referred to their offspring as angels, or spirits of unbridled good sent by the gods themselves. Children were seen by most of the galaxy as gifts.
The Jurisdiction saw them as a lever to inflict suffering. It had become quite effective at enacting psychological punishments on those that stood up and spoke out. You dare to disobey? You believe you can speak out? Your gifts shall be taken from you, and you shall be without joy.
Humans didn't like this, but the Jurisdiction would have their pound of flesh, and humankind would kneel. And they did. But humans were patient creatures: most species who retained that trait of willful spit also lacked patience.
I had long since become desensitized to the Jurisdiction’s actions: it was simply how the universe worked now, as if it were a constant akin to gravity. Cruelty was the unspoken rule of this seemingly unending age, where our lives never appeared to move forward or backwards, only lay dormant. The Jurisdiction had been the unyielding authority that ruled the galaxy for thousands of years, venerable yet feared all the same.
And for the longest time I was just another cog in its wheel. My name is Kalnuracht Sedjuur-Noumar VII, and was the scion of the noble house Sedjuur-Noumar. I was born into what most would describe as veiled apathy, living a life that could be attributed to the privileged class of feared scribes that enacted the will of those above. I was an administrator and nothing more. And now I am doomed to be far less than that in the eyes of my former constituents within the endless administration. I am the only scion, as is tradition, and without an heir I am the last of my house, our name to be scrubbed from the records, worthless, meaningless, and forgotten.
I am merely Kalnuracht, nothing else and nothing more. I have seen from their eyes, the eyes of the downtrodden, and it makes my crimes of association with the Jurisdiction feel all the more damning on my worthless soul. I am worthless to the world, and this is my story.
End Personal Log #1
Start of Neural Lace Narrative Log #1
They came from the black like carrion birds in the night, encircling our convoy as if it were a dying animal ready to be picked clean without remorse. There was no warning, no list of demands sent out as civilized peoples did, nor was there either any requirement for unconditional surrender nor chance to parlay, as was done so under letter of marque: this was an unmistakable call for violence and nothing else. They sought to reduce us to slag and scavenge the rest.
So, as one would expect, the entire bridge of the ship was nearing a panicked state. This was not the actions of those practicing civility, but rather the common behaviors of despoiling barbarians, the kind that tore their way through the dark reaches of the galaxy as if they owned it.
“Wayfinder, what do your probes see?” Shouted the ship’s sovereign. He was an older Kar’Rowmach, an amphibious cephalopod species with a venerable history within the Jurisdiction going back thousands of years. Normally one such as him would be above me if it weren't for the fact that I was under the authority of the Jurisdiction’s seal of office. He didn't like me very much, but most of his kind shared the same sentiment.
“All dark, honorable Sovereign: the sensor arrays are wailing but the feedback we're reviewing is beyond incomprehensible,” the wayfinder replied with a certain restrained temper in his voice. The Sok'klar wayfinder swayed gently, his tentacled limbs grasping different metallo-liquid braille output arrays, the liquid gallium flexing and reshaping unnaturally to allow him to to take in multiple different sources of sensory output at once, with the primary navigation computer plugged into the cybernetics surrounding his opaque, gelatinous head and plugging directly into his tube-shaped brain.
The Sovereign cursed in Loskat and pointed to his bridge crew while I simply sat in the back, near the Sovereign’s symbolic throne. “Prepare countermeasures and spool up the warp drive, we cannot allow the amanuensis to be taken! He carries sensitive information that only he can translate and transcribe!”
As the bridge crew nodded and began fiddling with their own systems, I preened my feathered hide anxiously. I wasn't a fighter: us nobles of the cloth were the educated minority above all else, not those who waged war or partook in hard labor. Special cybernetics in my brain allowed me to translate triple-encoded messages that usually took a ducal signet codekey or above to parse, but even without that I was a skilled mathematician and logician. I had terabytes worth of knowledge stored within the hardware installed in my head, all well protected of course, but if I were to die it would still be a waste. I could only imagine the damage any malcontenders could do with it if they were able to get their filthy hands on me.
Suddenly, the ship rocked, and the gallium overhead display began to form crescendos like I'd never seen before. “Sovereign, decks A-3 through C-12 are venting atmosphere and our coolant systems have been obliterated,” the Wayfinder spoke in an almost serene voice, as if he was completely unconcerned by current events. I knew they were simply incapable of tonal displays, but it was unnerving nonetheless. “Once we jump, we will not be able to risk another until the vacuum of the void can reduce temperatures to acceptable levels within the plasma capacitors.”
“Damn them,” the armored nautiloid hissed, his barbed feelers coiling in frustration, “May the currents take them. What are our options? what can we see? This fleet cannot fall to the void today, not with such vital cargo.” My hackles rose lightly at the Kar’Rowmach referred to me as some object rather than an esteemed amanuensis of the Jurisdiction, but I bit my forked tongue. Now was not the time to squabble with the sovereign over who was what and what titles I deserved, not while he was so desperately attempting to keep what semblance of order within his fleet that he had left.
I could not blame the crew for being panicked either: wars were practically mythologized now, having been long since rendered obsolete with the rise of the Jurisdiction, and that felt like an eternity ago. Now, either being levied into or joining a ducal naval force was simply another career, more akin to serving as an officer of the law rather than a fully fledged soldier. Minimal training was required, most of it being the technicals of one's duty rather than any kind of combat conditioning, so expecting a fleet to actually be prepared for a combat scenario in a universe where peace was the norm was laughable.
“We are practically blind, Sovereign,” stated the Sok'klar Wayfinder, “our probes are offline, and shipboard graviton displacement sensory arrays have been rendered unreliable at best.”
“What about the particle emission array? Has there been a spike in radioactivity where we were hit?”
The Wayfinder seemed to think for a second, his gelatinous form flexing and morphing a bit before answering. “Affirmative, a jump from negligible to forty billion becquerels along decks A through E-5 on our starboard side.”
“Torpedoes…” the Sovereign hissed, stroking his barbed feelers, “Human Torpedoes. Only those primitives would rely on crude nuclear warheads.” He then turned to his militant leaders on the ship. “Noddos, Rel’ads: organize your phalanxes and prepare to repel boarders. We are bound to be assailed by those rancorous primates, and I want their skulls piled at my feet if they dare set foot on our ship.”
“Your wish is our command, Sovereign,” the two militant commanders spoke as one. Noddos, a large bipedal with multiple sets of curved spines running down his back, a pair of graceful horns sprouting from his head, and multiple rows of sharp teeth in his snout, bowed first, followed by Rel’ads, a marsupial with long saberteeth and thick fur. They both must have been fierce warriors in their own right to each lead a phalanx. They wore thick, semi-powered armor and held dueling polearms alongside their usual plasma casters, and seemed completely unfazed by the situation we were in. As they stomped out of the brightly lit bridge, I let out a quiet squawk of discontentment. “Sovereign, why haven't we jumped again? We are wasting precious time.”
“I am working on it, you spineless beaurocrat!” He warbled back, his feelers tensing in anger, “besides, it's not as if you're the one who will be spilling blood today, amanuensis, so flatten your wretched beak or I shall weld it shut with a plasma torch.
I was about to reply with something indignant, but the ship rocked again, this time causing the lights to flicker and the air to become… thick. The skin under my feathers began to blister, and I became lightheaded and confused. “Seal the damnable vents, initiate radiation scrubbers, and activate secondary life support!” Shouted the Sovereign, “Their nuclear weapons are rendering the ship inhospitable!”
I coughed up magenta blood accidentally, and I could feel more seeping from under my eyes. Some of the crew was in a similar position, but others were more resistant to radiation than I. The Sok'klar seemed completely at ease as he ran his tentacles across his morphic braille arrays before calmly announcing the ship’s status. “I've regained some control over our probes: ten, twelve, and seventeen are active and fully functional, the rest are either still malfunctioning or permanently inoperable. A rapid rise in localized radiation is also interfering with the detection of graviton displacement; we can't sense photon redirection, thus readings will remain inconclusive.
“Wayfinder, damn you, get me some kind of out here! We're easy prey until we can respond in kind!”
“Negative, something has gone awry with our processing hub, I am attempting to troubleshoot-”
And with that, the Wayfinder’s bulbous head exploded in a cascade of opaque lavender blood, covering the front half of the deck crew like a morbid art piece. Some of the crew screamed and shouted in terror before removing their cranial adaptors and choosing to interact with their displays manually. Others died just as quickly, unable to unplug in time as their brain stems fried or their blood boiled. It was a horrible way to go, having your insides neutralized by your own cybernetics, so I was glad I wasn't connected to the system.
“Cybernetic warfare! All systems are to be considered compromised, switch to manual settings or you'll be killed!”
The lights in the bridge flickered again, and the displays went haywire. The bridge crew, which obviously weren't acquainted with working without being hard-linked into the mainframe, moved at a much slower pace.
“Launch missile pods A through F and set to self-target after five hundred kilometers, then rely on their ballistic coordinates to begin firing broadsides! If we can't see the humans due to their meddling, we'll just have to feel them.” Shouted the Sovereign, “and got me a detailed report on the ship’s diagnostics readings. I need to know if this flagship is still capable of escaping or if we'll have to scuttle it and retreat on another.”
“Acknowledged, Sovereign, launching now,” affirmed another deck officer as he swiped across his own gallium output array. I could hear the dull thunk, thunk, thunk of missiles pushing out of their pods before racing off to their intended targets, then the mechanical whirring as the pods rotated to be reloaded by slaves in the lower decks. I was regaining my bearings as the many horrible sensations of being overwhelmed by radiation poisoning were beginning to subside, but I still felt as if I had been microwaved. The air was stale, the crew was horribly sick as well, and even the sovereign himself seemed to be on his last leg. I was beginning to believe that I might die here.
“Sovereign, a message from the lower decks,” shouted a communications officer, his chitin scraping against itself as he turned quickly, “they're requesting reinforcements, something about being overrun.”
“Impossible,” the Sovereign hissed out in a vain attempt to exude confidence, “We must outnumber the humans, they always go for bigger targets out of arrogance.”
“I've received reports that it's not just humans: the primates seem to make up only a third or so of the assailing force, along with some Phaeldaer and Vrex.”
The commander slammed his clawed hands down on his own output array in a fit of rage, obviously overwhelmed by the circumstances, “Then this wasn't just a typical assault, but something more sinister!” The nautiloid warbled, blood seeping from his shell as the full effects of the radiation took hold, “Get Rel’ads on the line, have him divert all spare lances to the lower decks or else we'll lose the only offensive capabilities we can use.”
“Rel'ads has gone dark, Sovereign, his vitals are critical.”
“Then either get me Rel'ads tail-leader or get me Noddos!” He screamed in rage, “don't give me this nonsense! If we don't pick it up we're all going to die, is that what you want?”
“No, Sovereign, I'm simply overwhelmed-”
“We're all overwhelmed! By the tides, I'm dying of radiation poisoning you nincompoop! Get me something I can work with!”
The officer didn't even acknowledge the Sovereign after that, simply turning back to his display. Eventually, the Sovereign was able to get Noddos on the line.
“Sovereign, two thirds of my phalanxes have been decimated by combat with the primitives and the radiation, the rest are in shambles. We must retreat and fortify elsewhere!”
“Then the ship is compromised! Rel'ads is unresponsive and the lower decks are swarming with intruders. We must evacuate the amanuensis to another ship.”
Just as the Sovereign spoke, I heard several gentle thumps rattle against the bridge’s door, and it made me uneasy. Some of the bridge crew seemed to feel the same, as they looked incredibly nervous and some even drew their sidearms. Just as the sovereign turned to give further orders, the door blew inward with a deafening explosion, followed by shouting and gunfire. Several of the bridge officers were dispatched quickly, brain matter and blood splattering against the delicate electronics. Others were shot in the legs, the torso, or in any other exotic yet non-vital body parts. The humans poured in, brandishing primitive ballistic firearms and jury-rigged energy weapons while wearing scavenged, legion-grade powered armor.
The Sovereign was the next to go, but he wasn't afforded an honorable death. He was shot along the arm with a particularly potent plasma caster, burning off his clawed hand and cauterizing the wound, the acrid smell of roasting chitin filling the already hot and cramped bridge. He fell back against his output array, the gallium reaching new highs and lows as more diagnostics and casualty reports were delivered, and he clutched his stump angrily. “I'll burn every last one of you in the foundries! I'll tie you to stakes, cover you in wax and set you alight! Your screams will be broadcasted all over the galaxy!”
One human warrior stomped up and slammed the butt of his rifle into the sovereign’s face, shattering his facial plates and causing blue blood to splatter across his section of the bridge. “Shut the fuck up, you mutant lobster,” the human said before dragging him by both antennae towards the center of the bridge and receiving a stained breeching axe from one of his comrades. “Emmanuel, start recording. We need proof.”
The other human nodded and pressed a button on his armor before lifting up his gun again. The rest of the humans fanned out, holding everyone else at gunpoint. I tried to get up and sneak out, but a human grabbed me by my neck and nearly wrung it out as he forced me to my knees and pointed a sidearm to my skull. “Get down, you piece of shit, before I blow your brains out too.”
“Damnable primate,” I hissed, but he bashed me in my skull with the base of his sidearm’s grip and sent me sprawling, making my already pounding headache worse. Another human shouted at him in a language I didn't recognize, but he sounded furious. The first brought me back up to my knees again, and I complies with a hiss and a groan, blood still leaking from my eyes and mouth and my world was spinning.
The Sovereign struggled, but he was weak from the radiation poisoning and he couldn't exactly resist on account of his lost arm. The human with the breaching ax kicked the Sovereign down and forced him to kneel before lifting up the breeching ax and splitting his chitinous head down the middle with one powerful swing, sending more blood and brains across the floor. “Execution confirmed, take his antennae just in case and we've got ourselves a bounty. Now all we need is that ugly cat’s teeth and the fat hedgehog-thing’s grimy spines and we'll be in business. Although, they do have skulls… we might as well just take their heads.”
The real horror of the situation dawned on me at that moment: they were going to kill us all, or maybe worse. They mentioned a bounty for the commanders, and multiple of the higher ranking ship officers were already dead, their brains splattered against the walls or their bodies torn apart by gunfire. I wasn't dead yet, but that didn't mean much since I wasn't an immediate threat.
“Alright, round them up and bring all the grunts to the hanger bay, then kill the rest,” the leader of the humans said in such a lackadaisical manner that his complete disregard for life almost made me sick… almost. I had seen worse from the Jurisdiction before, but usually that was from me delivering some kind of ordered judgment on a world that had sinned against order. I might have simply been the messenger, but I had seen many of the outcomes. “And make sure to collect whatever proof of bounties you can, we'll need to deliver them to the office to get cashed out. Don't let this be a repeat of last time where Juarez fucking forgot to take a few heads and it ended up cutting our profits in half, the fucking retard.”
Some of the humans chuckled at that as they dragged more of the senior officers away, out of the room and into the hall,where I heard gunshots. The rest of the bridge crew froze in place, different fear instincts kicking in. The remaining Sok'klar corralled together into what seemed to be a singular, semi-congealed mass as if to try and trick the humans into believing that they were much bigger and much more threatening than they actually were. The one Thei’chi on the bridge, an ensign who had clearly thought this would be a simple mission, bore her curved fangs at the humans and growled as they approached, her hackles completely vertical and her eyes dilated. They quickly muzzled and bound her before beating her over the head with a gun stock, sending her sprawling onto the ground. Many others simply cooperated, eyes wide and yet simultaneously empty, as if they couldn't quite process that the ship had been taken and the commanding officers were being executed as the rest were escorted to the hangar.
“Get the damn messenger down to the hanger as well, we need whatever data's in his ugly lizard head, then we can decide on what to do with him.”
I spat at him in spite, as if to try and seem brave, but it was clearly an empty gesture. “You won't get anything, primate! You couldn't possibly crack the encryption!”
The human holding me seemed to wind up for another swing, but the commanding officer simply held up his hand to stop my tormentor before strolling over to me. He knelt down and removed his helmet, revealing a beige-colored face covered in scars, wiry black hair cut down to the scalp, and multiple tattoos. “You're really fucking mouthy for a hostage,” he said before punching me across my beak faster than I could register. I heard a sharp crack as his fist connected, and my head spun again as the metallic taste of blood pooled into my mouth. “I'd advise you to shut up, but I'm sure you won't listen: you aristocratic types are so full of yourselves. Maybe I should have you flogged in the public square until your vocal chords give out once we rip those cybernetics from your head, huh? How's that sound?”
“It won't matter… it won't change anything… the Jurisdiction will hunt you down.”
“Maybe, but I doubt it will happen for some time: they really suck at doing anything that requires effort, even when they're mad enough. They just keep sending their rabid lapdogs to try and smoke us out, and they always end up full of holes,” the human officer said with a smirk, his yellowish-white teeth and green eyes sending shivers down my spine as he drew his knife. “They're just horrible at their job, you know? You've all gotten so lazy and incompetent after being able to just take what you want without resistance, and now that you've met people who are angry and crazy enough to fight back you act as if we're committing some grave injustice,” he placed the knife against my throat, the flat just underneath my now bent beak, “No, we just took a few pages out of your book, ‘cept we've got standards. No kids, for one…” he seemed to look off into the distance as his sneer deepened, “but it's more than that, we don't attack the defenseless in general and we still win against you all in fair fights.”
I went to say something else snarky, but he quickly grabbed my thin tongue with his fingers and yanked it out, blood from my mouth pulling to the floor as he held the blade of his knife against it. “No no, none of that. Say one more thing and I'll cut that rancid little tongue of yours out of your mouth and feed it to you,” he hissed at me, pressing the blade down just hard enough to draw blood. “Do you know what it's like to see a planet turn into a tomb?" he asked me, gritting his teeth, “Do you know what it's like to see everything you've ever known crumble to ash and glass, all the life and the green stripped away leaving nothing but bones? I do. I've seen it happen to countless worlds, and my grandfather always told me stories of how you bastards did it to Earth. He still prays in its direction five times a day, to Mecca, but he knows the Kaaba is gone now, or maybe it's still there, buried in the bones of those who sought refuge there.”
I didn't care for the human’s nonsensical beliefs, but I did care to correct him. “I've seen it before, and I'll see it again. And so will you, it's inevitable. The Jurisdiction will always have its judgment fulfilled, there is no alternative.”
“One day, I hope we can rectify that,” he said, then he sheathed his knife and slammed my head against the metal floor with enough force to nearly knock me out. As I lost consciousness, I could hear him speak. “Take him to the Chop Doc, and make sure the cybernetics don't get damaged: they're supposedly more valuable than any bounty on this ship.”
Warning: Severe radiation poisoning detected. Flush system immediately.
Warning: Neural Lace removal detected, chance of neurological damage high. Proceeded with caution.

I just created a template workbook that extracts data from another file, let's call that other file a cost workbook. The idea is that I receive a cost workbook and my template file references it, pulls in data, does a little transformation, and populates some forms. When I get a new cost workbook with different costs, I use "Edit Links" to reference the new cost workbook.
The cost workbook will always be set up in the same way, fields won't move around, etc.
At first I tried using power query, but couldn't figure out how to do that, since the data is all over the place on different tabs, etc.
So I figured out a way to use XLOOKUP and it works well. Quite well, actually - I give a lot of credit to this sub for me being able to pull this off, so, thanks! Also, being able to change the referenced file has turned out to work really well, too.
The problem is - if I open the template workbook without having the cost workbook open, all the references turn to #VALUE and will only revert to numbers when I open the cost workbook. That's not the end of the world because there won't be a situation where I can't have both workbooks open.
Is there a setting I can change where I can open only the template workbook and have the referenced numbers persist from the last session? I notice that any direct cell references to the cost workbook - those do persist; and I remember some talk about how XLOOKUP is constantly updating, or something like that. So maybe my problem can't be solved while using XLOOKUP? Any ideas? Thanks!

Hi there,
I’ve been quietly reading on this sub for about a month now, thinking about posting. Finally have a good reason to, I think.
Backstory: I’m 24F. I’m the oldest child - my sister is 18 and my brother is 10. I can’t remember ever having liked my ndad, and we “butted heads” a lot when I was growing up, increasingly about me wanting independence especially when he would promise to do something (that I felt I could do myself) and wouldn’t come back to it for a long time. He wanted control. He was always sensitive about lying. When I was starting my senior year of high school (good grades, committed to extracurriculars, aiming for top schools like Harvard, Stanford, John’s Hopkins), he found out that I was experimenting with drugs and lost it. He went through all my texts, found out I’m queer, saw all the bad stuff I wrote about him, and decided he can’t trust me anymore. He strip searched me, sent me to a psychoanalyst that he wouldn’t listen to anyway, took away a lot of my belongings, set up surveillance cameras around the house, moved me to his office and put a lock on the door and window. A mattress and a notebook to write in. Months of interrogations followed. I was not allowed to close the bathroom door, and later, I was allowed to close, but not lock it. No phone, no seeing friends. I wasn’t allowed to be alone for months. Or to go upstairs. Listen to music. It was real bad. He told me he wanted to break me down and rebuild who I am from scratch… my mom was devastated and was on his side, despite having previously stood up for me now and then.
I was able to apply to my state school ONLY and got in. The deal was that they would pay for it basically and I would help with the family. I was never allowed to have a job, despite wanting to work since high school. The first year of college my mom drove me. They didn’t trust me to take the bus. Partway through the second year, I found the resources at the college to put together a backup plan in case I needed to leave. It did come to a point (ndad found out about it bc I was carrying around a business card in the waistband of my underwear and dropped it in the bathroom one day) and I decided to leave.
I was allowed to leave with the clothes on my back - no shoes, no coat, nothing else except some documents. And even then he didn’t give me my passports (foreign), saying they don’t exist when I named the document (likely I used the name they used, and not the official document name). Had to sign a handwritten paper that said I refuse their help.
Friends helped me get back on my feet and I’m surrounded with loving people now.
The period of severe abuse lasted 2 years and 5 months. I saw a couple friends a couple times throughout. More details take too long to write.
Since then (4 yrs 3 months), I’ve not seen my immediate family. I call my mom more frequently now, that relationship is stable, but she won’t share information with me. I can talk to her about my life. Have only been able to talk to my sister 2 times over the phone - her last 2 birthdays. Talking to dad never ends well. Last time I tried to call and talk to my sister he wouldn’t let me.
I found out what school she goes to and found out when her graduation is by the powers of the internet. I want to go - to see her and show up for her. I’m debating if I want her to see me or not. And I’m worried about running into ndad. I had a stress dream about it last night. I’m both scared that she won’t want to see me and I’m scared of making things bad for her. To the extent of my knowledge, she may be going out of state for school (know that through a family friend). We were rather different kids growing up and idk how she feels.
Should I go incognito? Or call attention to myself?
(Also wanna write a memoir one day if I ever get the time.)

The Moschitta Framework is a cutting-edge, modular, and asynchronous Python framework tailored for modern application development. It emphasizes key principles such as modularity, performance, ease of use, and a Pythonic design philosophy. Below is a detailed exploration of its core principles, individual modules, and compound modules, highlighting how it caters to various development needs.

Core Principles

1. Modularity
   
   • The framework is composed of distinct, interchangeable modules, enabling developers to use only what they need. This approach enhances maintainability and scalability.
2. Asynchronous First
   
   • Designed with asynchronous programming at its core, Moschitta maximizes performance and responsiveness, particularly for I/O-bound and high-concurrency applications.
3. Pythonic Design
   
   • The framework adheres to Python's philosophy, promoting readable, maintainable, and intuitive code. It leverages Python's strengths to ensure a smooth development experience.
4. Lightweight
   
   • Minimal third-party dependencies keep the framework lightweight, reducing potential conflicts and improving security and performance.

Individual Modules

moschitta-auth

Handles authentication and authorization, providing secure access control mechanisms. ```python from moschitta_auth import AuthManager
async def authenticate_user(credentials: dict) -> bool: """Authenticate user based on provided credentials.""" auth_manager = AuthManager() return await auth_manager.authenticate(credentials) ```

moschitta-routing

Manages HTTP request routing, enabling clean and efficient URL mapping. ```python from moschitta_routing import Router
router = Router()
@router.get("/home") async def home(): return {"message": "Welcome to the Moschitta Framework!"} ```

moschitta-serialization

Facilitates data serialization, ensuring seamless data exchange between components. ```python from moschitta_serialization import JsonSerializer
serializer = JsonSerializer()
async def serialize_data(data: dict) -> str: return await serializer.serialize(data) ```

moschitta-logging

Provides robust logging capabilities for better debugging and monitoring. ```python from moschitta_logging import Logger
logger = Logger()
async def log_event(event: str): await logger.log(event) ```

moschitta-middleware

Offers middleware components to process requests and responses efficiently. ```python from moschitta_middleware import Middleware
middleware = Middleware()
async def process_request(request): await middleware.handle(request) ```

moschitta-orm

An object-relational mapping module to interact seamlessly with databases. ```python from moschitta_orm import ORM
orm = ORM()
async def fetch_users(): return await orm.query("SELECT * FROM users") ```

moschitta-caching

Enables data caching to improve application performance. ```python from moschitta_caching import Cache
cache = Cache()
async def cache_data(key: str, value: any): await cache.set(key, value) ```

moschitta-security

Security tools to safeguard applications against common threats. ```python from moschitta_security import SecurityManager
security = SecurityManager()
async def verify_signature(data: str, signature: str) -> bool: return await security.verify(data, signature) ```

moschitta-testing

Utilities to facilitate comprehensive testing of applications. ```python from moschitta_testing import TestSuite
test_suite = TestSuite()
async def run_tests(): await test_suite.run_all() ```

moschitta-view

Manages the presentation layer, rendering templates and managing views. ```python from moschitta_view import ViewRenderer
renderer = ViewRenderer()
async def render_home(): return await renderer.render("home.html") ```

moschitta-utils

Helper functions to support various tasks across modules. ```python from moschitta_utils import Helper
helper = Helper()
async def generate_uuid() -> str: return await helper.generate_uuid() ```

moschitta-core

The foundational infrastructure of the framework, integrating all modules. ```python from moschitta_core import Core
core = Core()
async def start_application(): await core.initialize() ```

Compound Modules

These compound modules integrate several individual modules to cater to specific application needs.

moschitta-api

For API development, combining authentication, routing, serialization, logging, and middleware.

moschitta-cmc

Content management and caching, integrating caching, authentication, and ORM.

moschitta-admin

Admin dashboards leveraging authentication, logging, routing, and ORM.

moschitta-ecommerce

E-commerce applications with authentication, ORM, caching, payment, and logging.

moschitta-chat

Real-time chat applications using authentication, routing, websocket, logging, and caching.

moschitta-analytics

Data analytics integrating authentication, ORM, visualization, logging, and caching.

moschitta-crm

CRM applications combining authentication, ORM, caching, email, and logging.

moschitta-iot

IoT applications with authentication, ORM, MQTT, caching, and logging.

Domain-Driven Development (DDD)

Moschitta encourages following Domain-Driven Development principles to ensure the software's design aligns closely with business needs. This involves: - Understanding the Domain: Collaborate with domain experts to gain a deep understanding of the business logic and processes. - Defining Boundaries: Create clear boundaries between different parts of the system to ensure that each part is focused and maintainable. - Modeling the Domain: Develop a model that accurately represents the domain, using entities, value objects, aggregates, and repositories.

Automation and Git Workflows

To optimize development processes: - Automation: Use scripts and Makefiles to automate repetitive tasks such as testing, building, and deployment. - Git Workflows: Implement effective Git workflows (e.g., GitFlow) to streamline collaboration and ensure a clean codebase.
```makefile

Makefile example

install: pip install -r requirements.txt
test: pytest
run: python main.py
.PHONY: install test run ```

Conclusion

The Moschitta Framework offers a robust and flexible foundation for developing modern Python applications. Its modularity, asynchronous design, and adherence to Pythonic principles make it an excellent choice for developers seeking performance and maintainability. By leveraging its individual and compound modules, adhering to DDD principles, and optimizing workflows through automation, developers can build efficient, scalable, and maintainable applications.

So we know that dragons "test" their riders in the first flight to see if they are worthy and if they fall they die. Violet fell many many times and Tairn always caught her. He was also nice to her from the very first time they met and she was even a little snarky with him. Seems if anyone else gave attitude like that to a dragon they would kill them. It just seems from the very first time they met he was already protective of her and had a bond with her whereas other dragons definitely wouldn't have allowed their relationship riders the same grade. I've not seen anyone discuss this yet and I'm just curious what everyone thinks.

Pardon my english as it is not my first language. As far as I can remember I was an excellent kid growing up till the age of 15. I could make friends, work hard, get good grades etc. The next year I moved to a new city and felt a bit lost. Then I stopped working hard, got bullied, lost all of my self esteem , my self image was over. All of these happened over the course of 2 years. This happened 10 years ago. I have never been the same after. I was so badly traumatized, that I have extreme anxiety, self limiting beliefs and idk this is gonna sound weird but ig I developed some superstitions as well. I never allow myself to be happy. I am scared to be happy. I have no close friends. What hurts the most is even after knowing all these I cant silence the noise in my head. I am frustrated with myself.