How do you make your sidebar tumblr stay still

I had some bumps at work for 2023, but it was generally good. Made some missteps, took accountability. Moved forward. Most coworkers were cool with it, but one sr. team member has made a professional grudge against me. Later, I find out I would then be reporting to this person for all of this year upon our manager leave. We were moved to a new manager hierarchy. The relationship tanked immediately which is how I know it wasn't just me in my head. I was also told they asked that I not speak to the director at all; our manager.
The senior team member tried to push me out twice before. They began the process not even two weeks after our manager left. The annoying part is the senior member makes 10x more mistakes than me, but they have no one reviewing their work so they don't get punished. But I do. Because they can and they get off on it.
Going to the review...
I thought my performance review was good in the beginning... but I got a 12/21, just barely enough for a small 2% raise. I know it has nothing to do with my actual performance. Our old manager had business sense that the coworker was going to be present and gave me a low review to protect the sr. team member's ego and their relationship. The other intent was to also make the sr. team member not feel threatened by me to try to give space for my relationship with the sr. team member to grow...(unfortunately it was non-existent long before). Old manager made sure to list my accomplishments at least; so some of it is documented.
I was told all 2023 that I was doing well. This was also shared verbatim "We are blowing our roles out of the water." in front of our entire team (this makes me confused as to why I got a 12/21). I stayed late. I signed in extra early to support events. I took on and completed additional projects. I supported a function completely outside my role; and well. None of this was reflected in my score. It was just in notes in the unscored section. I chose to not fight it because I'm mentally over the team. I received only positive news for 2023 and then the issues came in like a flurry after our manager left and it's been hard on me mentally. How can I be blowing my role out of the water and get a 12/21??? I feel like a 17/21 would've been more accurate.
This brings brings me to my title. My performance review felt like a verbal warning. I did have to sign my performance review document. I have a copy. I looked over it a few times. I didn't sign anything that was punitive but the message verbally stressed was that they want me to perform better.... (the irony).
I do want to say I was thrown off by two requests to check in after our review. I'm sure the first will be in August. It's 90 days. Standard. The next would be 90 after (but could be 60). Though they gave no hard dates yet. I am confused that as the director was delivering the news, they asked me to consider moving over to another team as they don't want to lose me if I'm open to that. I know this was my sr. coworker's request. It has their name written all over it so to speak. I can't tell if the director was telling me silently to jump ship now and they're giving me room to leave peacefully or if they're feedback was genuine. I don't have a relationship with them because there's never been time.
Here's why I'm making this post:
I'm stressed I'm going to be terminated sooner than what I'm prepared for because I have my lease for just four more months and I have no savings. I'm still snowballing my debt and I'm almost out (next paycheck). I paid a month ahead by accident once (probably a smart thing now) so I have three months left on my lease. I have another windfall coming in July that will bring the renting months down to just two. I am planning on moving back in wit family for a little bit to recuperate savings before a big EOY move to a different state. I'm fed up with where I am living now.
I know when the verbal warning starts, the written one usually comes 90 days after, and then a final warning (depending on leniency), and then term. Should I let them term me? Would it affect my career to be fired from my first full-time job of almost two calendar years?
Most places nowadays only verify title and dates of employment. They don't even touch if you would rehire them or answer if the employee was fired.
Question 1: With a lower than expected score that is not reflective of my actual contributions, should I plan to receive a PIP in August?
Question 2: Should I force them to fire me or move me instead of leaving?
Question 3: Do I turn on my job search now and just find a short temp assignment to gain more experience and get out before my EOY move?
Question 4: Can I last at least for another five months? I feel like it doesn't matter how much I try to improve. It will never be enough for the Sr. Member that has made it their mission to push me out.

Like what the hell are these guys thinking? Right now you're a white guy in a Western country. You have access to doctors, lawyers (even though the court system is against you as a man it still exists). Any time you want you can stop being a lazy bum and go lift weights and become every woman's dream.
Except this is what you did. You went to Philippines / Thailand and found a chick who is 4 feet tall and has 81 IQ. You couldn't either learn to talk to women or avoid them you had to go to a third world country.
Now your kid is going to be born into poverty, he is going to be short, he is going to be Southeast Asian, he doesn't have the genetics for body building.
You took your issues (that were primarily in your head) and you created a kid who now has some pretty fuckin massive issues. If I was a kid with a white dad and a Filipino mom I would probably sit on the curb drinking alcohol every day of my life.
I can't get access to white women or East Asian women. There's nothing I can do to make myself successful except become a nurse and go abroad.
That incel vibe that many Passport Bros give off when they scheme how these third world countries are some sort of paradise is going to be amplified x100 in a kid who is half white half Filipino. You don't understand.
Be a man and solve your problems on your own.
Passport bros like to ask "which country should I go to?" Bro you're going to be studying a language for 35,000 hours, right? Right? You're not just going to these countries and expecting them to speak English and serve you Big Macs. It's your investment. If you can't pick what language and culture you want to learn you probably shouldn't be doing this.
Too often Passport Bros is the same thing as men flipping open their Tinder and expecting pussy to come raining down on them.

Hey all hope you're having a great day :)
So like most people i'm missing that special person in my life and it would be really nice to find someone that i can relate to, be 100% honest and open with and generally find my best friend.
Hopefully this would start out as friendship and if we click then we click, open to anyone from anywhere :)
Some stuff about me/hobbies
Video games, this is my biggest hobby by far, i play have an pretty big library of games i play so if you game, there is a high chance we would share stuff we could play, a few games i play often, League(i question it too don't worry) soulsbourne games (unga bunga builds) fallout's, i mainly play pc but have a switch and ps4 too.
TV/Film, if not doing the above, you can find me binge watching shows or films, such as B99, the office HIMYM, GoT (we can discuss how shit the last season was forever), Star Wars, Marvel stuff, SAW.
Animals, i have 2 dogs (yes i'll show you lots of pictures) and in general i love animals so much, so i'll probably spam you with pictures of random animals i think are cute or funny :)
Music, i listen to a wide variety of stuff, from rock and metal to dance/pop some electro swing, rap and other stuff, in general if i like a song i'll listen to it on repeat till i hate it but still listen to it anyway.
I try and be witty and funny most the time, I have a stupid sense of humour but will try and make you laugh most of the time, I can be shy to start with but i open up pretty quickly when i get comfortable with you :)
Don't be shy and hit me up if you think we would get on :)

Losing the one shot is definitely disappointing, however I don't think the character is dead. I know there's been a lot of hopelessness in the Hanzo community, but my aim is to help you guys improve your game so you can still excel on Hanzo and feel like a GOAT. In this post I'm gonna talk about the general playstyle that works for me on Hanzo, and how to adapt your playstyle based on the enemy comp. And at the end I'll put a couple tips for improving your aim.
Hanzo still has some distinct advantages that he can leverage against his enemies. His wall climb is amazing for a medium range hero, considering most other heroes either can't access high ground, or need to commit cooldowns to get there. Storm arrows are an incredibly consistent kill tool at medium/close range. And having a leap every 4 seconds, combined with wall climb, gives you the ability to be just as slippery as you are deadly. And of course, sonic arrow lets your whole team have wall hacks 50% of the time, and on defense, lets you see the enemy comp before they even come out the doors, allowing you to plan your positioning accordingly.
The thing is, most people think that hanzo is a long range hero, but he's really not. The only time you want to be shooting enemies from long range is before the fight to do pressure, get ult charge, and potentially get a pick on any hero that's taken chip damage. It's not about being a goat and hitting long range headshots. It's about proper medium/ close range positioning and proper timing, to make your shots easy to hit.
The way I play Hanzo is as a medium range pressure hero with incredibly high dps. You don't want to hold long range sniper angles on your own, you want to be active in the fight from medium range and use your slippery mobility to take off angles and high ground at opportune moments. Getting kills at close range is incredibly consistent with Hanzo, you just can't expect to get a 5k with headshots only. You want to take an off angle to get a kill or two with storm arrows. Then as soon as the enemies turn to react, use your leap and wall climb to escape.
It sounds crazy but you want to play on a razor's edge of feeding to maximize your damage output. Push in close from an off angle near your tank to get easy headshots and storm arrow kills, but always be one leap away from safety... Whether that's a high ground to climb up to, or just leaping back into your team.
I've also had some success with full committing on a hard flank, but the key is timing. You want to get behind/to the side of the enemy backline shortly after the two tanks clash. When the enemy supports are tunnel visioned on helping the frontline, THATS when you pop around the corner and take your shots on the supports and burst them with storm arrows. Best case scenario, you kill the supports, then the DPS, then finish the tank in a perfectly executed pincer attack. Worst case scenario, you distracted the supports and made people turn to shoot you, while the enemy tank is left with no support in the frontline.
There are times where it's better to just spam from main, and I'd say that's usually when your tank has a distinct disadvantage against the enemy tank and both are fighting in the frontline. Keeping constant pressure on that tank can help sway the matchup into your tank's favor, or at least make space for them. But of course, killing squishies can still carry games.
DIVE COMPS:
The other time to stay in main with your team is when the enemy team has flankers/ dive heroes who can kill you if you are isolated. Generally in those matchups, I just try to focus on hitting shots on the threatening mobile heroes. They won't push you if they're half HP. In these cases, using yourself as bait can be very effective.
Let's say there's an enemy Genji, you should play slightly outside of his dash range while also being near your healers. He will want to dash at you, but he will fall just short of hitting you. Then you can pop your storm arrows, but don't shoot. He will instinctively deflect. Now, suddenly the Genji is in the middle of your team with no dash and no deflect, while you still have a full volley of storm arrows. Similar tips can be used against Dva and Winston as well.
Against Wrecking Ball, it depends. You don't wanna try to kill him, just force him out. If he rolls back to his team, keep putting out pressure. But if he chooses to escape BEHIND your team, try to hit him with a sonic arrow as he's leaving, then you can tell where he's going. It helps a lot.
Against Tracer and Sombra, Keeping tabs on their position is key. Sonic arrow is good to scout flanks. Plag near your team, but DONT PLAY BEHIND YOUR SUPPORTS. Play in front of them. The ideal scenario is that they target one of your supports, then you can turn and shoot them while they're tunnel visioned. Your burst damage is high enough to often kill them, or at least enough to force them to run away and reset. When you do force them away, try to estimate how much time you have before they come back, and use that time to apply pressure to the frontline.
But let's say you werent able to scout them, and don't know exactly where they are, but you know they're lurking somewhere. Take a shot at the frontline and then do a 180. Literally check the flank after every shot. Good flankers generally wait for you to be distracted by the frontline before they pounce. By shooting the enemy tank and doing a 180 turn, you can keep applying pressure while still being able to react to the flank at a moment's notice.
This last tip is SUPER risky but it works sometimes. Sometimes when I'm facing a Dive comp or lots of flankers that are rolling me, I will actually flank as Hanzo. I will hide in a concealed area behind the enemy team and then when I'm confident that the flankers are in my backline, I'll start attacking the enemy backline. The reason this works sometimes is because when you're facing flankers, they will be lurking around YOUR backline. But if you're lurking in THEIR backline, you're essentially on the complete opposite side of the map from them and they'll have no clue. This is a strategy that pro players called "trading backlines". If the enemy flankers are going to kill your backline anyway, you may as well target their backline too. After all, Dive comps don't usually peel for their own backline, they commit to killing yours. This works especially well when they're hard targeting you specifically. The last place a flanker expects to find you is in their own backline.
POKE COMPS:
The name of the game is map control. A big mistake Hanzo players make is trying to ego duel hitscans from long range, banking on hitting long range shots to win. Straight up, don't do that. It's ok to aim for hitting one body shot to keep them in check or force them off their angle. Sonic arrow also helps deter them from peeking those angles. But the way you beat those long range heroes is getting up close and dumping storm arrows into their face. I will literally get close enough so that I could literally leap into their face and melee them to finish them if I wanted to. 3 storm arrows is 225 damage, to body shots or one headshot is 240, so getting leap-melee finishers is actually very useful. I KNOW it sounds crazy to play this close, but I urge you to challenge your beliefs about Hanzo. Your damage output is so high that you will beat pretty much every long range hero up close. Storm arrows are ridiculous. Though medium range storm arrows are fine if they're unaware of you or have cover to escape to.
Against Ashe, just remember that you have plenty of ways to delete Bob. Headshots while jiggle peeking from cover, or storm arrow headshots, or even using dragonstrike to melt him if he's near the enemy team.
And against widowmaker, use your sonic arrow to scout her specifically. If she's bad, she'll stay scoped in and let you line up headshots. If she's good, she'll hide for 5 seconds or take a new angle. This means you can push up while she's given up the angle.
Against poke comps, you know that you're always safe in cover, because they have no flankers. So as long as you're controlling the angles and bullying the enemy off of their angles, you will win over time by controlling all the space and winning the objective.
BRAWL COMPS:
Brawl comps are generally slow and tanky, and usually only good at close range. And many of the brawl heroes have big hitboxes, making it easier to hit them from further away. Hanzo LOVES playing against slow brawl comps. With your mobility, you can bully them from angles where they can't even contest you. Even if you don't get kills, you can farm ult so fast that you can zone them off the objective with dragons and do tons of damage to their clumped up team. Just don't spend too much time focusing the tank, because if they have lots of healing you probably won't kill them. Though you can still pressure the tank to make them fall back to buy space for your team.
RUSH COMPS:
Rush comps are kind of a hybrid between dive and brawl, and so many of the tips for both will apply. You want to put out lots of pressure, and take off angles when you can. BUT!!! You need to rotate back to your team sooner than you normally would. You might think you're safe from a decent range on an off angle, but a Lucio speed amp or Junker Queen shout, Rein pin, or Moira fade can let them rush you down much faster than you'd expect. Don't get greedy on your off angles, and dont expect kills. Even just hitting a shot or two to bait out defensive cooldowns like Shout, Wraith form, etc can lower the enemy team's lethality and make them hesitant to rush. If a rush comp gets a numbers advantage, they can pretty much run your team down for free. So don't get greedy.
Also, the baiting tip works well with rush comp too. If you're playing near your team, you can be in the front just behind your tank and bait the enemy team to rush you, and then you can quickly leap away and climb to high ground. Now, you're on high ground above a ground-based comp that just wasted resources to push you. You simply need to watch your spacing and use your slippery movement to dodge the rush. Just remember to play in sight of your healers incase you do take some damage.
People HATE Hanzo to a degree that is completely irrational, and they will literally feed their brains out to try and kill you. You can use that to your advantage. He has the mobility and burst damage to slip out of arms reach and burst them down, making them even more tilted, making them feed harder.
HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR AIM:
A HUGE tip that I've barely heard anybody talk about it a really simple one: Don't focus your eyes on your crosshair, focus your eyes BELOW your crosshair. Essentially you just aim at head height but focus your eyes on the enemy's body. Because it's much easier for your eyes to track a moving body than a moving head. Once I started doing this I noticed an immediate difference.
My personal favorite way to warm up my aim is a custom workshop code for an improved practice range: AJERA
Before every session, I go to the area by the roaming bots, and press interact on the blue orb near the ledge. It will spawn a flying Pharah bot. Then I climb up to the various high grounds and practice shooting Pharah from different ranges. Its hard at first, but once I can hit shots on her semi consistently, then I know I'm ready to queue.
And for practicing close range consistency, the central area has an orb that spawns a Lucio bot who jumps around and wall rides within an enclosed area.
The custom practice range also has a blinking Tracer bot to practice on, which is nice.
The only thing it's missing in my opinion is a jumping Genji bot, but there are other custom codes that have those like VAXTA, which is also good.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading! I hope these tips are useful for you. I know a lot of people are choosing to boycott Hanzo, and I respect that. But for me, I want to keep playing him and prove that he can still carry.
Now get out there and make your enemies tilted. ;)

TLDR: partner and I planned to spend some time at my place after we saw friends, instead he dropped me off and left then said he thought I didn't want him to come inside because I was tired. I feel like thats a manipulative take on what actually happened and I feel gaslit. Need more perspective and advice on how to communicate the damage this sort of behavior is having on our relationship.
Last night I saw my partner. We made plans to see a couple of friends and then to go back to my place for awhile. I also asked if we could reserve some time for a discussion once we got to my place and he agreed. We left our friends place about 10:30 and he drove us back to mine. I live in an apartment and there isn't guest parking so to stay for any length of time he'd need to find a spot on the street. He pulls into the driveway of my apartment building directly behind an assigned parking spot (not mine). He left the car running and didn't take his seatbelt off. He leaned over and gave me a goodnight kiss. I asked him about our plans for discussion and he asked me what it was I wanted to talk about. At that point, he was still double parked, the engine was running and his seatbelt was still on. I told him I wanted more than five minutes for a discussion so I guess we could talk the next time we saw each other. He said ok, see you then. I got out and he drove away.
Later he told me left because I said I wanted more than a few minutes for discussion which he interpreted as me not wanting him to stay more than a few minutes because I was tired.
I need a reality check: If it was you sitting in the car is that what you would have taken from this interaction? That I was telling him I didn't want him to come in because I was tired? And if so, if this relationship was important to you, would you just accept that and drive away? I'm trying really hard to look at this charitably and I'm struggling.
I was pretty blown away when he said that because nothing about the situation indicated to me that he was planning to get out of his car. I only clarified with him about the discussion *after* he literally kissed me goodnight. I don't understand how he could truly have come to that conclusion based on how things happened.
My take on it is that he was tired and to be fair, we both were, and he decided at some point he didn't want to come to my place or have a discussion. I think thats fair. It was late, we were tired. But he didn't communicate to me that he had unilaterally changed our plans. Its a pattern where this will happen, he will avoid/ rug sweep a discussion and leave me confused. If he didn't want to come over I feel I at least deserved for him to open that discussion with me. Instead, I was abruptly dropped off home confused and alone with zero explanation. His conflict avoidance and unwillingness to have conversations with me is starting to really affect our relationship.
How do I make it clear to him that this is hurtful and damaging things between us?

Here comes the lamentations again. Bear with me. I've always been a shy person and never learned how to approach women, even back in my home country where it was customary. I only had partners through friends or social media. Now, after four years in Germany, my inability to find a partner is pushing me into depression.
I've been trying to change things up—I go out more, registered at the VHS, made some flaky friends, and attended carnivals, seeing a lot of beautiful women. But I still can't seem to meet anyone, and sometimes just feel worse than if I had stayed home. At group events, I sometimes strike up a friendly conversation, but it never goes beyond that. Should it? Is it appropriate to ask for their number or something? I get a feeling that I'm being too cautious, yet I'm also scared of making people uncomfortable.
Today, I was at the carnival, and as usual, there were many pretty women, mostly in groups, which makes it even harder for me to summon the courage to approach them. Being a visual learner, I'm trying to understand this from other people's perspectives. Do you just approach a random girl at a carnival? What would you say? Do you ask for her number? Do women want to be asked out or talked to in this setting, or do they want to just stick to their friends?
Help this almost 30-year-old socially inept man. Danke im Voraus!

I’m 42, early perimenopause, and I want to celebrate giving less fucks and having more playfulness and pleasure in my life.
It’s the long weekend and I’m so happy to have 3 free days stretching ahead of me. Even though we are just staying at home, I feel like I’m on vacation. And that’s because we haven’t formally planned anything….we’re just going to putter around and see where our weekend takes us. And isn’t vacation just a dedicated time to rest, play, explore and enjoy yourself? Literally follow your pleasure.
I never would allowed myself to do this before. I would’ve looked at the housework that needed to be done and the projects on the list, and decided that I better use this lovely long weekend to do perfectionistic work, because I didn’t allow myself to rest until all the work was done or I was on vacation.
Instead, I had a really fun workout being playful and weird and dancing to an awesome playlist (I’m obsessed with jungle’s back on 74) and shaking out the stress of the workweek, then stretched and rolled out my muscles which felt like releasing all the bullshit of the week - I felt so clear and grounded after. Now I’m having a chill day and just had a lovely self massage session where I felt close to orgasm for about 20 min before a beautiful release (!) while listening to poetic sensual songs by my man, Hozier and now I’m happily eating nerds and writing this so I don’t forget.
I organize my life when I’m not at work around rest, creativity, playfulness and pleasure and life feels like vacation most of the time. Has to be said, There is a lot of privilege in this…. I have a modest house, an old car that runs. I have enough money to pay the bills, I don’t live an extravagant life, but I don’t worry about meeting my basic needs.
It was slow but I built this life over the past five years. Like so many, the journey started with the lowest of lows - the death of my mother (which was v. complicated but that’s a story for another time) and led to me slowly but surely unlearning everything I thought I knew about how to be a good human and live a good life. I deconstructed from Christianity and processed some complex trauma and that opened up my nervous system to be in a calm, connected state more often rather than in fight or flight or shutdown most of the time.
I’ve stopped striving for some perfectionistic vision of success that was given to me by other people. I think this might be what people mean when they say that in your 40s and 50s you stop giving so many fucks?
I gave so many fucks because I really wanted connection and belonging and and because of complex trauma I was always trying to be the person that other people needed me to be so I could maintain connection with them.
Now I’m deeply connected with myself. I listen to my body most of the time. I feed myself and care for myself better because I really do love myself more wholly than I did before. I had so many conditions on accepting myself in the past, so I was always unhappy. I had a pretty toxic relationship with myself and it took a while to repair that.
I’ve learned to be the kind, encouraging fiercely, motivating, and encouraging friend to myself that I am to other people in my life. my inner critic is still there, but not nearly as loud as she used to be. I’ve now got another voice in my head….i like to think of her as myself when I’m a grandmother, holding my hand and comforting me when I need it and pumping me up and pushing me when I need it. It sure beats that mean inner critic…who I sometimes visualize as my teenager self, yelling at me and shaming me all the time!
Now me and the kind voice in my head roll through life seeking pleasure - the excitement of a new garden, the sun on my skin, a warm bath, chopping up veggies and making a fancy salad. I want to enjoy my life and that leads to all sorts of caring for my physical, mental, relational, and spiritual needs.
I’m just so happy I got to this point in my life, I didn’t think I could ever feel a sense of ease like this.
Anyways, here’s to my perimenopausal and menopausal friends who are on the journey of giving less fucks, learning you are and what you value, and untangling the chokehold of perfectionism and people pleasing (capitalism and patriarchy) and following your pleasure.

All right here it is finally, thank you all for your patience and let's hope chapter 5 is a little more expedient. As usual I hope you enjoy and would love to get everyone's thoughts.
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4: Memory transcription subject: Zeak, Harchen orphan, citizen of the Venlil Republic. Date: standardized human time July 13th 2136.
The sky was a roaring mass of fire and pungent black smoke that choked out the light of the sun. As I ran down the street, green blood flowed like a broad shallow river. It splashed up with every step I took, sticking to my scales, the smell of it made me feel sick. As the piercing wail of the emergency sirens seemed to grow louder and louder with every step I took making my ears ring and filling my head with a thunderous pain. My heart pounded, my lungs were on fire, and my legs felt like they were made of lead.
A herd of towering blurry figures appeared out of nowhere and ran past me, some almost knocking me down. In their panic they began to look more like crazed wild animals than people. I cried for help but they couldn't hear me. I waved my paws then grabbed one of them a male Venlil, tightening my grip with all the strength I had hoping this would get his attention. He threw me off like I was trash, less than trash. I turned around and continued pleading for anyone to help me, reaching out for others. But their frantic idiot eyes looked only straight ahead and not down, never down, as the herd passed me.
I turned back around and continued to run, blood splashing up soaking me all the way to my knees. I stumbled, my legs were so tired I could barely stand, and I fell down catching myself, plunging my paws into blood as deep as my wrists. I felt myself scream but I couldn't hear it over the ringing in my ears. A scrap of paper gently floated past me, a single word written on it that echoed in my mind “Weakling.” It passed and four more took its place, “Coward”, “Liar”, “Oath breaker”, “Murderer.” I screamed in rage and slapped the pieces of paper aside, blood splashing onto my snout, but the meanings of those words remained. Getting back up I stumbled forward, and fell down again. Then with an effort born out of sheer desperation I managed to stand again lurching forward. My legs were too tired to run but I had to keep going, I had to save them. Or at least her, please Protector if you're listening please let me save at least her.
It felt like I was searching for an endless time. Lurching forward, stumbling, falling down, getting back up, lurching forward once more. Eventually I saw it and my heart fell into the pit of my stomach. My family's car was turned over on its roof, the driver's side had been caved in. It was engulfed in fire and thick black smoke that rose up into the sky. I struggled forward and when I reached it I collapsed, my knees hitting the hot pavement. The smell of burning metal and something else I didn't know assaulted my senses making my stomach turn. Every muscle in my body begged me to run away. Calling out their names l looked inside, and a wave of nausea and horror flooded through me.
I turned away and vomited, then reached up with my blood soaked paws and covered my eyes. Those words thundered in my head making me think it was going to burst open, as hot tears welled up. “WEAKLING! COWARD! LIAR! OATH BREAKER! MURDERER! MURDERER! MURDERER! MURDERER! “I'm sorry I'm sorry, I should have stayed, I should have helped. Why did I run?” I wailed, still unable to hear myself. Someone rested a delicate paw on my shoulder, and the world went quiet. As the pain in my head melted away.
My eyes snapped open and I was greeted by the gentle ringing of my alarm. In a rush of adrenaline I leaped out of bed not even bothering to wipe the sleep out of my eyes. Running out of my bedroom and down the narrow hallway towards the living room. Convincing myself It had all just been a horrible, horrible nightmare and everything was alright. Mom and Dad would be fixing breakfast, Dad softly singing a Harchen folk song while making something savory and delicious as mom sang along in harmony, preparing something special for my baby sister Naila. Oh yes and Naila, she would probably be sitting on a cushion in the sunny part of the living room. Holding her crooked tail, a birth defect which my parents said could be fixed when she was older. And making excited chirping noises at my arrival, while sunlight shone against her emerald scales. I loved my baby sister, I knew other kids resented having a younger sibling. Dismissing their responsibilities and spending less time with their family and more with their friends. I never once felt that way, the moment Naila hatched I devoted every spare minute I had to her. Finding music that would help her fall asleep, watching over her when my mom needed a break. Excitedly telling her about the day's events and what I learned at school, especially what I learned in computer science which was my favorite class.
“Mom! Dad!” I yelled bursting into the living room. “I just had the worst…” My voice trailed off as I was greeted with nothing “dream.” My heart tightened painfully in my chest, as I frantically ran through the house throwing open every door, knowing that they had to be here somewhere. They were just playing a game on me that was all, a game I would tell them I didn't appreciate. After the final door had been opened and no one was there to yell “Surprise!” My body slumped and I felt heavy as reality set back in, and the memories of what happened hit me like a hammer. I made my way back down the hall to my room, tail dragging behind me as I crawled back into bed. Wrapping myself tightly in a blanket, trying to find some comfort.
It must have been hours I lay there feeling numb all over, wishing I could get up the energy to just cry. I think I might have fallen asleep at one point. If I did it was a dreamless sleep, thank the stars for that. Eventually I did get up, sitting cross-legged on my bed, resting my chin in my paws, staring holes into the wall. I took a deep breath and side numbly looked out the window, searching for anything to distract myself with.
It was overcast, and eerily quiet. The emergency sirens had stopped blaring yesterday mere hours after everyone had gotten to the bunkers. The bodies of the dead had already been collected and their blood cleaned from the pavement. So as to not attract any predators into the neighborhood. I saw my neighbor A'shul was home, his white vehicle was sporting some new dents. I wondered, when he got into his vehicle yesterday morning and drove to the nearest bunker; did he try to help anyone? Or was he thinking only of himself? I suppose it didn't matter really. Nothing mattered.
I turned my head away and looked around my small room taking in everything, every trinket, misplaced item, my old second-hand desk, a big green crackle finished monster. Better suited for a Venlil than a young Harchen, heck I needed a stool just to use it. I had gotten it for basically nothing about a year ago, when the local extermination office was getting rid of their old furniture. All it took was a small bribe and they put it in my bedroom when no one was home. My parents, but especially my mom we're not happy when they saw it the next day. They would tell me at least once a week that It was too big for me and they were going to get rid of that eyesore. “Wouldn't you like something a little more modern dear?” My mom would ask, practically pleading for me to say yes. I used to pray that my parents would just shut up and stop bugging me about that stupid desk. I thought it was great, it made me think of private detective Bal from the exterminators show. Bal was a no nonsense Harchen who was so often pivotal in tracking down the predator or predator diseased person. My desk was very similar to his and that's why I wanted it. But at that moment, I would have given anything to hear those words again.
On the desk there was an ornate wooden box, with a fruit tree in full bloom delicately carved into its lid. There were also scuff marks where it had been dropped, and a deep crack running down the center. It was known as a blessing box, Naila's blessing box to be specific. When she hatched nearly ten months ago the whole neighborhood had been invited to come and write a blessing on a scrap of paper and put it in the box. I had written one too, not a blessing but a promise, a promise I couldn't keep. The belief was that if kept near the infant, the combined power of all those blessings would keep the hatchling safe until their first birthday. Where on that day the box would be set on fire and burned to ash. Releasing those blessings back into the world so they may protect someone else. It was an old tradition and not commonly practiced anymore, but as my dad always said “It is important to keep the old traditions alive my son. Both in song and action.” I remember asking him why? And he looked at me like he had been waiting for that question for a long time. “Because” He said, his tail moving with authority. “Someday when you lose your way, and you don't know where to turn to. You will always have something to guide you back to your center.”
Looking away from the box not wanting to look or think about the damn thing, I shifted my gaze down to my bedside table. There was a little holographic projector showing pictures of me, Mom, Dad and Naila on holiday back on Fahl, the Harchen home world to see family. I was born and raised on Venlil prime, so I didn't really know any of my extended family. There was a picture of my mom and Naila sleeping at the beach. Naila’s crooked tail coiled around mom’s arm, their scales a deep emerald in the light of the sun. The picture changed to me and Dad putting the finishing touches on a sand skyscraper taller than him. I had to sit on his shoulders to place the last bucket full of sand on top. Both of our scales were as blue as the ocean. My tail flicked sadly thinking of that day. I reached over and turned the holo protector off.
My holopad lay next to me flashing, alerting me to an urgent message. I hadn't really looked at my holopad since yesterday morning. Picking it up I tapped the flashing icon. It was an official government statement signed by Governor Tarva herself, saying that the humans Noah and Sarah were peaceful explorers, and that they only wished to be our friends. ‘No, that's impossible, they’re predators. Predators don't want peace, they want to conquer, kill and eat us,’ stunned and confused I kept reading. The rest of the message stated that the two human scientists were completely unaware there was intelligent life of any kind on Venlil prime. ‘No! Lies! Predator lies!’ I yelled inside my head. Something hot began to form in my chest as I read the last bit. Governor Tarver had shown the two predators footage of the Arxur torturing Venlil pups. It said that the humans were capable of empathy and felt deeply saddened and angered by what they saw. They vowed to do everything in their power to get their united nations into the war against the Arxur.
I scrolled all the way down and what I saw stopped me cold. Standing in her office being flanked by General Kam, stood Governor Tarva. Beside them looming over the two Venlil one bigger than the other, both of them covered in some sort of protective suit. Their faces were obscured by dark visored helmets. It said that the larger of the two Noah was male, and the smaller one was Sarah female. Sarah had her hands clasped in front of her, while Noah kept his to his side. Neither were acting threatening, and neither Tarva or Kam looked to be harmed in any way.
Something in me snapped, that hot thing inside my chest erupted and I could feel my scales turn black. I very carefully set my holopad down beside me, then I uncrossed my legs and got out of bed. I stood there in the center of my room shaking slightly, feeling terribly calm as white hot rage flooded my body, spreading to my paws and all the way out to the tip of my long tail. It never had to happen, the panic, the stampede, the death, we could have stayed home and avoided those people. ‘No… no not people,’ a bitter thought came over me. ‘They're not people at all, people stop and help, like that Venlil girl Kayleik, she was a person maybe the only one. But the rest of them were just wild animals, masquerading as sentient beings. ‘Do you really think you're any better, coward?’ Some internal voice said.
A sudden impulse took control of me and I grabbed my desks stool and hurled it against the wall. It dented the wall and bounced off still in one piece. Enraged, I leaped forward grabbing it by the legs, then turned around and slammed it into my desk. The sheet metal dented and the green crackle finish paint flew off, but the stool made of good dense wood from the string fruit tree stayed whole. “DAMN THEM! DAMN THEM! DAMN THEM! DAMN THEM!” I screamed, slamming the stool down again and again, my tail whipping wildly, striking the bed and the floor. The tip of my tail began to hurt, which only fueled my anger. Finally I heard cracking and wood began to splinter off. They didn't have to die, we could have stayed home. The muscles in my shoulders burned and my heart pounded as hot tears began to well up. I brought it down one final time narrowly avoiding the blessing box, and the stool broke in two. I hurled the pieces away from me, one slamming into the corner the other crashing through the window.
I leaned against the desk catching my breath as tears flowed freely. ‘Well that definitely showed them didn't it. Hey I got a great idea! Let's go break some more stuff, that will definitely make you feel better. Idiot!’ That internal voice said all coldness and bitterness. As I cried, the burning in my chest cooled, and I was filled with the same numbness as before. After a while my stomach growled, reminding me I hadn't eaten since yesterday. I moved sluggishly out of my bedroom and went straight to the kitchen, quickly grabbed some fruit and left to go and watch the view screen or something. The moment I entered the living room, memories came flooding back. Mom and Dad laughing, Naila sleeping peacefully, the lingering aroma of breakfast, and the warmth of our home. But now it was all gone and I was alone. For the first time in my life, I had no one to go to.
It was right then I realized I couldn't stay here anymore. This place felt like a tomb, all cold and filled with the memories of the dead. Besides, if I stayed here someone would eventually send the authorities to come and get me. Ship me off to an orphanage, foster care or maybe to my extended family back on Fahl. I balked at the idea of being forced to live with people I didn't know or trust. Memories of yesterday's stampede invaded my mind and I shuddered. I couldn't trust any of them not anymore. No, there was one person I could think of that maybe I could trust. Turning around I went back to my room, found my backpack and grabbed my holopad, the blessing box, the holo projector and my blanket stuffing it into my pack. Then I went to the kitchen and filled my pack up the rest of the way with dried fruit and vegetable snacks. With my backpack looking like it was going to burst I shouldered it and made my way to the front door. When I rested my scaly paw on the door handle I stopped and looked back at the place that was once my home. “Goodbye” I said in a shaky voice, knowing this would be the last time I would never set foot in this house. With my head low I opened the door and stepped out, into the dim light of a new unfamiliar world.

Hello reddit, sorry for the long post but I really need some help with this situation and don't know who else to ask. I love my mother but she is a really destructive person to be around. Might delete this later because I don't want it reaching anyone in my personal life.
My mother suffers from munchausen by proxy, more accurately everyone else in her life suffers. She spent most of my childhood telling people that I was disabled. Her favorite disability is autism. She portrays autistic people as socially inept idiots who have no sense of morality or any common sense in general. There's nothing wrong with being autistic but growing up in the 2000s it wasn't exactly celebrated either. Kids are mean and this was back when calling someone autistic was a hilarious insult. This of course led to a lot of bullying.
I discovered what was actually going on when I was 14 and got into my first relationship. She told my boyfriend's father that I'm autistic and that I basically function like someone 2 years younger than my age, along with a lot of other really offensive crap. Of course he told my boyfriend all of this and my boyfriend told me. Instead of asking her straight up if she said those things I went through her text messages with his dad so I could know 100% either way if it was true or not because I had a feeling for a while that she'd been lying to me. Not only did she say those things in those exact words, but when I asked her afterwards if she said those things she lied to my fucking face that she didn't say that and said "it must've been a miscommunication." This is not the first or the last time she would do this, it's just the first time I caught her red handed.
She's also really pushed for my dad to be diagnosed with what used to be called Asperger's but is now just called high functioning ASD. I'm very skeptical of this diagnosis. He lets her walk all over him and whenever he's talking about something he's interested in she tells him to shut up and that he's boring people (even when he's answering a question he was actually asked) and she will constantly butt in to any conversation to do this. She also used to say that he needs her help to make any kind of decision because he has "no moral compass" so therefore he has to use hers.
She's had my brother diagnosed with both autism and ADHD. He's prescribed Ritalin but they only give it to him when they're going out somewhere and they want to make him easier to manage. The worst recent example of this is when we had to put the family dog down and they brought him with us to the vets. He stayed in the waiting room with my partner and my sister. My partner said he spent the entire 40 minutes that the appointment took watching the same 3 ads for pet food on a loop on the tv and seemed unable to break his focus when she tried to talk to him. Afterwards we've noticed him pretending to cry. Like scrunching up his face and making crying noises but not actually crying. It's like he knows he should be sad but can't actually feel the extent of his emotions. This really worries me because how is he supposed to process things emotionally if they have him zonked out on Ritalin he probably doesn't actually need every time something important happens.
My mother posts a lot on Facebook about having disabled children and how hard it is for her. I'm not very happy that ruined my childhood and almost the rest of my life so she could throw a pity party for herself. Now that I'm an adult I'm more concerned for my siblings who still live with her and for my dad but I'm not sure how to help them.
Thank you for reading this far any advice on this situation is appreciated.

Ok, so, I used to live in a different state during my childhood than the one I live in now (I live in the Northern US, originally born in this northern state as well). I lived in this other state from the ages of 6 until I was almost 16, and throughout the entirety of my elementary and middle school years up until the middle of 9th grade (which was at the high school, some start at 10th grade instead of 9th).
There were 2 main bullies that I dealt with starting in 1st grade/first school year after moving to this state, and as the years went on, these two girls (let's call them Marie & Clarisse) would get their friends in on bullying me. I wasn't popular by any means, but my mother always had me in sports and extracurricular activities with these girls, so I could never really escape them. It was just as bad outside of anything school related as Marie has two younger brothers that my brother was friends with, so I had to pretend to be the 'best of friends' with Marie from 1st grade up until about the end of 7th grade since our families drifted apart from being "close friends".
As far as typical bullying goes in elementary school, I dealt with constant name-calling and cruel "pranks", mostly aimed towards my weight, I wasn't fat, but I wasn't skinny either despite being in sports and was always active. However, those incidents extended to my stuff being stolen, like my notebooks I'd use for schoolwork, or my box of pencils/pens/etc., forcing me to constantly borrow from the few friends I actually had or from the teachers. I used to be in band (which started in 6th grade in that school district), and I played the clarinet, my stepdad had bought me a very nice/sturdy and somewhat expensive tote bag to put my clarinet, music stand, and music binders in for easier storage and to keep my hands free when transporting my 'equipment'. Us band kids were allowed to keep our instruments behind the curtains of the stage in the school's cafeteria (the stage was against the farthest wall from the kitchen/lunch lines), and out of the ~20 kids in band, only my expensive/sturdy tote bag was stolen within the last 2 days of 6th grade, of course suspects were Marie & Clarisse (I saw Clarisse using my tote bag that summer, as my now-smudged name had been written in permanent marker on the straps and one of the sides of the bag). I left it be because I didn't want any conflict, my stepdad bought me another one after finding out the original one was stolen in the first place.
Middle school wasn't much better as the name calling got extensively more graphic and consisted of slurs (like the F slur, as I'm proudly part of the LGBTQ+ community, specifically AgendeNon-binary), furthering the self-hurting thoughts that had started in 3rd grade. I had continuously tried to tell my mom and stepdad about it, only for my pleas for help to go unheard until one week during the winter season in 7th grade. I had gotten sick for 2 days and stayed home an extra day to recover, but during those three days, Marie, Clarisse and their friends had made an Instagram account, posting very unattractive pictures of fellow classmates (i.e. purposely taking pictures with very unflattering angles, poor lighting, etc) and blamed it on me since they put my address in the private information into that account. My mom had found the account, immediately asking about if I was the one behind it, she unfortunately didn't believe me until *after* she ripped my phone from me to look through it for "evidence" that I made the account. When I returned to school the following Thursday after recovering from the small cold, I was constantly bombarded by fellow students about the account since Marie & Clarisse were the ones that spread the obvious false rumor that I made it. By the end of the day, I had finally snapped, yelling "I didn't make that f-cking account. Why can't everyone just stop bothering me about it?" Of course, that earned plenty of attention from the teachers and students within earshot (and thanks to the tiled floors and walls, my yelling echoed throughout most of the first floor and partly into the second floor of my school), I ended up having to talk with the counselor about the whole ordeal because of my frustrated outburst, which resulted with very little help from the staff, but after a few weeks, people seemed to forget that the account even existed since it ended up deleted within a few days after my outburst.
That following school year, 8th grade, was even worse. Sure, the slurs, the other name-calling and thievery of my belongings continued (more so the slurs/name-calling), but by this year, I was almost constantly committing the self-hurting since my mother was of no help, my stepdad was sympathetic but always working and the therapist my mother found for me was basically a deadbeat with bullying situations (she didn't seem to understand or even want to actually help me with the bullying as she was more of a family therapist than anything else). For the district curriculum, we are required to take health class in 8th grade, and as we were going over the unit that encompassed depression, self-harm, and su!c!dal thoughts/actions, I constantly had to have another staff member in the back of the classroom to watch over me and take me out of the class if any of the course material triggered an episode. Thankfully the staff member was that was there for me was the school's police officer, let's call him Officer Lennox, he was like a protective older brother, especially after finding out about how consistently I was bullied. Near the end of the unit, we had to watch Ronan's Escape (it's on YouTube), and since I was going through my own version of Ronan's situation, I ended up breaking down sobbing in class, only to be laughed at by some of the boys that were close friends with Marie & Clarisse. Officer Lennox snapped at them as professionally as possible while helping me out of the classroom to go sit with the nurse to have some downtime to stop sobbing before I was allowed back to my classes.
Another situation, which is the worst of it in 8th grade, was this one girl, let's call her Ava. She thought it would be hilarious to eavesdrop into my conversations with my best friend (we'll refer to her as Raven since that was a nickname she used) throughout lunch and shared classes, only to take our conversations completely out of context in order to string up a lie that Raven and I were planning to unalive the principle. Of course, this wasn't true, the principle was an a-hole to everyone, and Raven & I would discuss that we greatly disliked him. Ava mostly got away with spreading this lie as her mom was a higher-up in the school district, forcing Raven and I to entirely change our class schedules so we weren't in any classes with Ava, as well as almost being expelled. Thanks to Officer Lennox sticking up for both of us, we only had to have in-school suspension for 3 days instead of being expelled. Sadly, Ava got very little repercussions from this, but Raven and I grew even closer as best friends after "The Incident" as we still refer to it as almost 10 years later.
Summer rolled through without a hitch, leading to 9th grade, the start of high school. I was given more freedom from my mother (she's a helicopter parent and abusive/narcissistic) to dress in clothing that I preferred in comparison to always wearing brightly colored athletic wear. I completely changed my appearance, chopped my hair from just above the small of my back to a punk pixie-styled cut, and started wearing graphic t-shirts, ripped jeans, combat boots, and leather jackets. On top of that, I started becoming more confrontational/combative towards my bullies, since they still wouldn't let up, I earned a "bad@ass/bad b!tch" reputation, made friends with other rebellious and misfit types of people in the grades above me, and just fully became more of "me" despite the disapproval from my mother of the amount of change I undergone.
Despite being 14 at the start of 9th grade, I began dating, specifically one fellow student that was a very close friend and felon, he went to jail/juvie throughout the 2nd half of 7th grade and all of 8th grade. He came to the high school 3 months after the year started, and our friendship-turned-relationship sparked right back up as if he never left. I had kept my dating life secret from my family, mostly my mother because I know how bad her reaction would've been if I told her. With him almost always by my side (excluding classes we didn't share), my brand-new appearance, and my quickly attained delinquent/rebellious reputation, most of my issues dissipated much quicker than before. In spite of that, Marie & Clarisse kept making their remarks, trying to drag down my new confidence and constantly break my felon boyfriend (let's call him Collin) and I up. They got more degrading and verbally abusive with these antics, I eventually was completely fed up with it all. In the middle of the school year, within a couple weeks after Yule (Christmas for the non-pagans) & New Years Break, Marie, Clarisse and their group of friends had stopped me in the hallway, purposely surrounding me (there was about 30 of them in total) on my way to class, continuing with their shtick as usual, I slipped the pocketknife out of my pocket, flicking it open as I finally gave in and threatened to unalive them and everyone they care for if they don't leave me the f-ck alone. They saw the opened knife and knew then & there that I was 100% serious, I turned on my heels, shoving through them only to notice the principal and school's police officer (not officer Lennox) staring at me with concerned expressions, they also noticed the knife as there was a glint from the blade due to the blindly bright lights in the hallway. Not a word was uttered as they walked away, never sending a call to my mother or stepdad about the weapon or the confrontation as they had seen my progression in attitude and the amount of f-cks I had (which was none). After that day, those girls never spoke to me again, would barely glance in my direction, would purposely take alternate routes to class if they saw me in the hallway (or would keep to the wall if they couldn't move quick enough), and if we shared any classes, they'd be on the opposite side of the room from me and would do everything they could to never be partnered/grouped with me in class projects.
Everything was smooth sailing from then on, and now I'm 22 (as of late April this year), happily living with my bio-dad, my brother and my 2-year-old kitty, Ziggy. My mother is out of the picture entirely as she refuses to change her mindset and parenting style. I'm still confrontational towards anyone that tries messing with me, especially if they're anti-LGBTQ+/racist/abusive/etc. And thanks to my continuation of my drastic change from 8th grade to 9th grade, I'm now considered both the protector and the therapist to my friends, always there for them because I grew up knowing what it was like to not have that kind of support. I hope this story of roughly half my life can provide some sort of comfort or proof that it does indeed get better, even if it doesn't seem like it in the moment.

Alright so I'm trying to trade a t rex for blizzard spirit rumble and portal. It's an even trade considering I'm gonna have to put paw or more fruits to make the trade possible cause of same value bullcrap with trading in game which is annoying. Anyways I'm getting off topic as I was saying im offering this trade and I don't even know how to describe what this kid was looking on but he was trying to say t rex trade value was 20 mil when it's 25 and when I ask what he was using he said he was using bloxfruitvalues.com on safari which for one u shouldn't use safari use Google like everyone else and when I checked this website it had three options blox fruit values, buy a car and order a pizza. So immediately this site screams inaccurate but I decided to look at the values so I press on the blox fruit button and it brings me to some page saying click this link to go to website and when I did it just kept bringing me to pintrest no matter how many times i tried. So I look at this kids comments cause he seems like a brat cause he just started saying stay mad " I don't need explain why that's annoying and if anyone says that to me in real life I'm punching you in the throat" and it seems normal at first glance I didn't fully deep dive into he's comments. But the first comments I noticed was the typical I hate my mom and her pets which to me says emo this gets supported cause I saw he comments on a lgbtq server "sorry if I spelled that wrong I don't really care for that stuff" which is either him leaving homophobic comments or and I'm not insulting the lgbtq community fo whatever brings toy joy im just going off of past experiences not all lgbtq people are spoiled brats and assholes or he's one of those kids who lives a normal life and he makes drama cause he doesn't get any drama in his life. Before anyone says "he's probably effected by his parents separating" my parents are separated to heck I've been forced to cut out my own mother for mine and my father's well being and guess what I don't use that as an excuse to be a snotty nosed little brat. If you don't know fruit values or you use some wierd website that you know nobody else uses then don't trade just look at fruit values and you don't need to be told what a fruit is worth cause if you just use your brain and realize hey dough is only really good for pvp while something like t rex can be used for more then just pvp maybe just maybe that means it will be more valuable then a one trick pony and also fruit value is not demand dough has high demand cause people just want high bounty and don't want to have learn how to pvp the same goes for portal with both of these fruits you either do incredibly high damage and stun or it allows you to run away because you end up fighting someone who knows how to play and they won't let you use your one hit combo. Value is based off how versatile a fruit can be used like kitsune while yes it can be amazing to spam with especially since your so lazy that you can't even be bothered to press a couple buttons on your keyboard but it can be used for grinding traveling boss fights and whatever else you wanna do. I hope this gave smart people a laugh and a oh good im not the only one who deals with this and I hope it helps someone learn what fruit value actually is and its not just a bunch of random numbers on your screen. Anyways thanks for listening to my rant.

Just finished doing my page-by-page read-thru of the adventure. I give it a 7/10 that could be easily pushed to about a 9 with some DM tweaks and changes.
Here's my quick take on it (SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS):
PROS: * The art is beautiful throughout. As always, I wish there was more, but I know I'm being greedy. * The power of secrets mechanic is a neat twist, especially if they're saved up until the end. Of course, I wouldn't let my players know that. DM advice - Add more interesting secrets, clarify mechanics of spending secrets to players * We get to visit a part of the Shadowfell that isn't a Domain of Dread. * Kas as Mordenkainen will make for a great twist if the secret can stay hidden. Seems like ANY mild google search by players will give it away. DM advice - Make Mordenkainen super close to players. If players are the type to question everything, perhaps drop hints that maybe something is going on with one of the other Wizards Three. \* Sanctum in Sigil, connection to Planescape. DM advice - Roam around Sigil a bit. Do shopping in between chapters with all that loot players are getting. * Wish spell summoning characters is a neat idea. DM advice - Perhaps make it an "upgraded" wish spell since three mega-magic users are casting it. * Vecna cultists siphoning secrets is a neat idea. DM advice - Have the cultists appear somewhere later on in the adventure, not just chapter 1. \* The clues that Mordenkainen is Kas that are found in the sanctum are pretty neat, and appropriately challenging to find. DM advice - Don't let your characters find out that secret. It is your duty. \* Rod of Seven parts is a cool magic item. * Spiderdragon is cool. Excited for the miniature. * Hertilod is cool. Excited for the miniature. * The Ruined Colossus chapter sounds fun over all. Eberron is the setting I am least familiar with but I was impressed with this chapter, particularly moving up and around Landro. * Blazebear is cool. Excited for the miniature. * I know I'm in the minority with this one... Death house seems fun to me! The Strahd fight seems nerve-wracking for players and the haunted zones will be fun to roleplay. * Deathwolf is cool. Excited for the miniature. * Black Rose Bearer is cool. Excited for the miniature. * Tomb of Wayward Souls (Chapter 7) looks fun - I'm pretty into dungeon diving. Some of the puzzles are clunky but overall I think it will be a good time. * Rerak. His art is great and spooky. For some reason Rerak's resentment toward Acererak comes off as silly and charming to me... in a good way. I think it will be fun to roleplay. * The Red Belvedere (in Chapter 8) sounds fun to run. Interesting layout. Convincing the Pit Masters to let you in to the Dragon's Pride is an interesting challenge. * Windfall is cool. Excited for the miniature. * Kas is a fun villain. Love his artwork (especially in the Character Dossier). DM advice - Make sure the legendary Sword of Kas shows up somehow. * Camlash is cool. Excited for the miniature. * Miska is cool. Excited for the miniature. * Mirror Shade is cool. Excited for the miniature. * Nice that we get a taste of a lot of different settings. Seems a little gimicky (I mean, it IS gimicky, 50 year anniversary and all...) but still fun.
CONS: * While the "link to Vecna" is an interesting and at-times necessary mechanic for players, the way in which they receive it, as written, is weak. DM change origin or cause of this link. \* No connection to obelisks mentioned in other adventures at all. Wasted opportunity. * The gridded map of the sanctum that is included with the book isn't scaled correctly for miniatures. Weird. * Chime of Exile seems lame. * Lambent Zenith map seems a bit tricky to navigate. * Dragonlance is my favorite D&D setting so this one is the biggest bummer for me... Night of Blue Fire (Chapter 6) does not sound fun. Does not seem like Dragonlance. * Bone Roc is kinda lame to me and doesn't seem necessary. * Borthok is cool mechanically but the design is boring. Big wolf? * Moonlight Guardian design is so so lame. * Lunar dragon doesn't target players upon its arrival. DM advice - That dragon is going to target those players. We will fight a dragon. \* Having players be THAT close to Tiamat's lair and not have an encounter with Arkhan the Cruel - who has the HAND OF VECNA - seems like a missed opportunity. * Chapter 10 and 11 have a messy structure. Hard to grasp exactly what's going on and the timing for everything seems off. How is Kas moving around so fast and doing so much in Pandesmos when you were hot on his tail? * The battle between the forces of Kas/Miska and Vecna/Lolth aren't represented well on Pandesmos. DM advice - Bring in some "battlefield mechanics" (like "the Fray" in SotDQ) when moving from place to place. \* Miska is written as being stuck in the portal and has his strength/powers severely subdued. After all the trouble of getting the rod of seven parts, this seems like a waste. DM advice - Miska is coming out of that portal at full power. The players are fighting Miska. \* One design for the different types of Spyder-Fiends? I hope we see more with miniatures. \* Vecna's unrealities at the end are too few... and lame. * Vecna fight seems rushed... and lame. DM advice - Buff Vecna. Adjust the teleport crystals in the Cave of Shattered Reflection to make it harder for players (but not Vecna) to navigate. Make it so some players will be "trapped" behind a crystal wall with Vecna, separated from their friends. \* Vecna is merely banished/shifted to Oerth? Anticlimactic. I've heard that it is because of future plans with Greyhawk but... still. \* This campaign's marketing. So much hype on Vecna but you see him for an underwhelming final battle only. So much hype on these D&D heavy hitters (Strahd, Lord Soth, Lolth, Tiamat, etc.) but they're barely involved, if at all. Stat blocks given and everything. I'm totally fine with them not coming in to play (with the structure of this adventure I actually think they should NOT be) but don't sell us on the idea that they will be. MY advice - They should have marketed this adventure around Kas (I know that in that case they couldn't do the Mordenkainen twist, would have to change things) and have Vecna just make his appearance at the end as it is. Could maybe even have Vecna's involvement in the adventure be a surprise twist somehow?

Looking for someone around 22-31 that lives near NYC
I'm kind of looking for someone like me or tolerant of people who wants to make new friends but suffers from social anxiety. I don't really need to make a crazy amount of friends but eventually at least half a dozen new people I can consider reliable im my life would be the long term goal. I used to be comfortable just going about my day and coming home talking to my online friends, some I've known for more than a decade. Although for a while I've been asked an exhausting amount of times by a few people in my family why I don't hang out with "real friends." A lot of the friends I made either moved a or the ones I met in college who I'm still friends with were a lot like me and prefer to talk online mostly instead of going anywhere. So I'm kind of stuck with not many to show as a friend in person.
I am looking for a girlfriend, but I'm not really expecting to find one here and I'm looking for someone in particular that I'd be massively compatible with so there's no pressure for me asking anyone here out. Let's just focus on building a friendship.
I like to game quite a bit although I've been too busy with a lot of things the past few months to play much at all. Hopefully things will clear up eventually. I got Steam and Switch and some other stuff I havent touched in ages lol. I do enjoy reading sometimes but havent had anything in mind to read, feel free to reccomend something you like if you can.
I'm white, 161 pounds 5'10 looking for someone kind and understanding who isn't intimidating with nerdy interest that I could occasionally hang out with every few weeks in person with a mix of online. I'll need you to be someone who isn't judgemental that I can be my goofy self with. I prefer if you could initiate conversation and talk about yourself so I can get a better idea of who you are and how to approach you. I don't want to ghost anyone if I can help it, just try to hit me up at least every other day and I'll try to return the favor.
I'm also someone who tries to be judgement free that you can talk about your problems with. Pretty funny but not funny looking. I've been dealing with a lot of stress for a while but I've been working to manage it a little bit better so I can try to empathize a bit instead of just sounding you out.
tldr: Nervous mess but nice to look at looking for someone to hang out with in person once in a while after a few weeks of getting to know you.
Please introduce yourself with your age and something you've been getting into lately! (hobbies/interest)

So I'm not good at this stuff, so if I cross any boundaries please let me know if I said anything wrong or crossed any boundaries. I will apologize if I do.
So I'm hispanic, but I'm light skinned or I guess white-passing; it really depends on who you ask because apparently some people would say I look white but some won't. My identity regarding my apparence has always been kind of confusing to me, but this really isn't about me rn.
I've been seeing things online where I see a lot of woc who are on the spectrum be treated terribly. I'm not ignorant to the existence of racism, I know it's still a problem that needs to be addressed globally, but what's somewhat surprising is that I also see them get hate from neurotypical/allistic pocs.
Something else is that after researching autism for awhile as a late diagnosed woman, I started to pick up better who might be on spectrum or at least neurodivergent. A lot times I tend to notice that many alternative black girls are or could be on the spectrum, not all, but I've seen it. The way I've seen people talk about alternative black girls breaks my heart because I've seen them get called "oreo" or get judged if they date outside their race. It's even worse because so many black women on the spectrum go undiagnosed at higher rate for many years.
I'm apologize if I am crossing boundaries, it's not my intention; but please let me know if I did, I just want people to know I don't mean to hurt anyone.
I grew up in a place that had a huge latin population, and even then I still felt like I was alone due to the bullying I received growing up. I can't help but think how many other girls are going through the same or worse.
Community is so important, and every time I think about how darker-skinned women and girls on the spectrum could be going through that or worse, it makes me very nervous and sad, especially if they still don't know they're on the spectrum because on top of the racism and colorism, to be an outsider in your own group of outsiders really hurts. I get really concerned the little poc girls that may be going through this right now, and how this might impact them growing up.
Please let me know your thoughts and experiences. Please let me know if I said anything wrong, I will apologize and learn from it.

...and it hurts. I'm glad I have some true friends. I don't want to belittle those friendships or those people. I know I have some good people in my life and I do my best to be there for them, too, and appreciate them. But you know how the mind can be, sometimes. It's a struggle not to dwell sometimes on the people who not only seemed to fade out from my life but the people who disappointed me with the way they've behaved recently.
There are the ones who were cordial and we seemed on good terms, studying the same field. They used to interact with me and we'd encourage each other. But when I started to reach more and more of the goals I had, not by stepping on anyone, mind you, they stopped encouraging. Stopped checking in and reciprocating any messages. Now they're totally silent and many just act like I don't exist.
Then there are the ones who I looked up to. There were cliques of them, sure, but I never felt any animosity from them towards me; I was just aware when I was working towards my dreams and trying to improve that I was not on the same level as them skill-wise or resume-wise. I occasionally asked advice of them, thanked them for it, and would regularly express excitement and support about their projects. I recently noticed, despite them having supported my projects before this recent success, they have all been silent and one of them has congratulated me in private but pretended they didn't know about it in front of the others. They will not do anything to boost or share in my success even though it was announced widely and publicly throughout our entire field and they ARE aware of the specific merit which is annually awarded to individuals in the field. Some of them have formerly received said merit and I congratulated them. It could be that they all happen to have other things going on, and this is just an unfortunate coincidence, but it is difficult not to feel like they are suddenly not interested in the merit now that I am the one they might congratulate.
Before I began working in earnest towards this particular goal, it was an extreme longshot. I was not taking care of myself, I was a borderline alcoholic, and I was depressed and acting self-destructively. The friends I had during this dark time are the third group. That was a slow slide into realizing they never wanted me to clean myself up and be healthy. One of those friends used to jokingly say, "Oh, ___, never change," when we'd be partying and I'd be a drunk and lively part of the group. I did not realize until a few years later, after I'd gotten my master's degree, that they actually weren't really joking. They started putting down school and academics. They made passive aggressive remarks about how people "need to stay in their lane" and asked me if I ever noticed how "people suddenly think they're somehow smarter just because they have a degree?" For reference, this individual also has a master's degree but in a different field, and one that they are not as interested in or passionate about, but for "better job security" (their words, not mine). Eventually I lost contact with them because it got back to me that they were badmouthing me, unsurprisingly, to my friends back "home" who I'd hung around with before I pursued my degree. Now that I have thrived for years since then, and been recognized in my field for my work, these friends are totally silent.
I feel guilty, because I KNOW I should focus on the friends who have been supportive and who are happy for me. But I think this feeling of loneliness and hurt is a sign that I'm still struggling with low self-esteem that never quite went away, no matter how fulfilled I felt when I began seriously pursuing my dreams.
I think a lot of people don't talk about what a double edged sword success and achieving one's dreams can be. You really find out who your friends are and aren't. What's that expression? "Pay close attention to those who don't clap when you win." As much as I would like to think I wouldn't pay them any mind, as much as I'd like to think I'm mentally healthy enough to ignore the haters and live a good life, it is impossible not to notice. I guess what I do next with that observation is key. I'm trying to be self-reflective, and to really check with myself to see if I'm doing anything that is hurtful to others or if I've done something to warrant these behaviors. But I'm caught somewhere between hating myself because I think I MUST somehow have done something to deserve that treatment and being angry and disappointed with the reactions of those individuals because it feels unfair. It feels like I'm being bullied and ostracized for winning, but who the hell wants to hear someone complain about how hard it is to "win" or achieve their success? So here I am on offmychest. Thanks for listening.

~What the fuck ?~
I will never understand the compulsion to belittle or intentionally misrepresent anyone for any reason- I am a very loving and understanding person and I extend that to those around me in every way I know how to. I have overcome some seriously messed up shit and I still try and shine my light to the world and to those around me and It's really disheartening to see it interpreted otherwise especially when it comes to those, I love the most.
Those people that I have tried time and time again to heal these relationships but at one point am I allowed to release responsibility to trying to tend to and mend relationships on my own? My person continually being vilified for expressing myself and my beliefs while continually being delt unwarranted disrespect.
So many times, in my life I have found myself standing up for myself only to be further attacked in a situation that didn’t call for extreme animosity. It’s weird to think that someone would interpret you defending yourself in a conversation as an excuse to deal personal attacks to someone just because we don’t agree with them.
I think it’s a disservice to not only myself but to those around them to allow them to see me allow myself to be treated in a manner that isn’t appropriate to my standard, and my standard alone. I think it’s quite liberating to free myself from the bondage of what other people think I should be or how I should act based on their jaded beliefs of what constitutes the appropriate way of existing.
I think allowing yourself the grave to not buckle under neath the ideology of other people can set the tone for the way other people treat you. If you continually allow people to run over you or treat you lesser than, belittle you, or even talk down on you, then you allow for yourself to receive poor treatment from people and their bullshit, especially when you don’t deserve it. People will always try and put words in my mouth trying to make me sound entitled, bratty, or hateful, but never actually put any logic or intelligence behind their argument against me. I’m never extended the same grace that I have continually given over and over again to those around me. I have never been met with the same empathy or sympathy given to others around me and any time I’ve called attention to that, I’ve been met with aggression or combativeness. No one has ever really acknowledged in a way that might say “Okay, I hear you, that wasn’t my intention” or even an apology for that matter.
I Find it kind of gross that I have been in so many treatment programs doing the work to combat my drug addiction and mental illness for countless years. Numerous therapists and therapy sessions that I have sat in completely unfolding and unpacking emotions and traumatic events that have taken place over the course of my life and it bewilders me to think that people that don’t even attempt to do that work are the first to throw out labels (Schizophrenic, Junkie etc...) But the moment you throw out “Hey I feel like you aren’t exactly treating me fairly” It turns into a complete rage fest. People are so enamored by these self-righteous personas they create in their heads that the moment any of that is disrupted, It’s like a volcano erupting. You’re instantly transported into a warzone of someone else’s design, trying to maintain a sense of integrity, reality, and sense of self in a place where none of that exists in a sensical way.
Character Assassination: You were on drugs!
You’re 30 (Just turned 29
People will use any method to diminish your character, minimize the things you’ve been through especially if it means justifying their poor or embarrassing treatment to you. When someone see’s that you have ripped away the mask they hide behind, they immediately try and dismantle you in the eyes of others. Anything they can say to rip away your credibility, they do it before they’ll pause, reevaluate the situation and consider and apology. Before they’ve even given themselves a moment to adequately process one thing that you’ve say, you’ve already been made the bad guy in the story, you’ve already been nominated as that person to take the blame. But never being given the grace that it takes to truly love someone outside of a superficial front. Never acknowledging the things that one has survived or overcame.
It’s a lot of secondary emotions that people feel in regards to reflecting on things that someone else has experienced from themselves & some people latch onto that and make it their entire personality being the family member of a person addicted to drugs, or being the family member of a person who we’re forgiving etc., and it becomes our entire personality “ watch how much tough love I can give you, even though it’s exhausting me & hurting our relationship, look at how easily I am capable of derailing your life over and over again. Look at how fragile your existence is that I can with the snap of my finger or the stop of my feet break everything.
This is especially damaging when it’s done at the hands of someone you care for. Looking into their cold eyes and no longer seeing the love they have for you, but instead the distain for the love that they have for you. It becomes completely about the debt you owe to them for loving you, even when they didn’t want to (even though they never actually showed you that in the first place). I think it’s incredibly selfish to always create a circus around family issues instead of having a decent conversation about amongst each other. This displays an exuberant lack of communication skills as a unit & no one is perfect, but the lack of concern toward things of that matter are the reasons families disconnect from one another.

STANDING UP FOR YOUSELF/ STANDING YOUR GROUND IS NOT DISREPECTFUL/ RESPECT YOUR SPACE
For whatever reason, people invite you into their homes to mistreat and abuse you and then think that you have to tolerate their mistreatment because of the things they do or have done for you in the past, yes ESPECIALLY parents. Our parents CHOSE to have children, children don’t choose to be brought into the world, so for a parent to use providing for s someone as a young person with no say in the matter is low hanging fruit and it doesn’t show any actual concern for the issue or the people that the issue effects in the long run.
I find it jarring to have people pick and choose when to accept mental health as an explanation for certain situations and not for others. Like whenever it’s adding to the way that they’ve misrepresented you to others, then its fine, but anything else, like when it’s actually affecting your life, they lose all concern for you and your mental health. It’s really weird and doesn’t foster good relationships. I think all of this boils down to again “I hate that I love you” mentality. People care for you out of the obligation to look good to society, not because they love you through thick and thin or will always have your back. It’s whatever looks best the outside world, not really the structure of the house.

We know that Zack's line in rebirth somewhat hints of a reunion of world, not in Sephiroth's term but on his. In a way that the Timeline we are playing would reunite with Zack's world. That is generally implied.
But in a way, since we have no concrete evidence on what would happen in pt3 shall we indulge in a bit of theory crafting?
Tl;dr Cloud and Tifa along with a very much alive Zack and Aerith goes on a double date at golden saucer.
Zack was brought back alove in a different way right? It is a far far cruel fate to just bring him alive to be a red herring? If anyone knows SE kindly debunk or confirm this as I really hope they don't give as that kind of storywise implications.
Now, how would Zack plays into this? My theory would be after he reunites the world. He wpuld be searching for Aerith. Upon catching up to date in a few days he might get a sense Aerith has died or maybe not. Now, he wpuld be searching for Cloud.
While on his search, he could encounter Tseng who might or might not known the fate of Aerith. But regardless, he will inform Zack on the current location of Cloud. This is done in a sort of back door way that only the two would know.
As someone who haven't played the OG. What bits I could gather from the net, Cloud went on a mental breakdown prior to falling to the lifestream and begs hojo for a number. While the pt3 could lean onto this. A far darker turn SE could approach is to have Cloud turn berserk and would attack anyone. Driving Shinra away. Only to fight the rest of the team.
Now, forced to fight and enhanced and a more powerful Cloud, the gang could fall one by one until Tifa would remain. Unable to break through his madness she is then forced to fight Cloud. But just as the first blow is to connect against Tifa. Zack would rescue them. Deflecting Cloud's strike with ease. While his words is just as futile. His sword isn't. Finally defeating and bring Cloud to his knee knocking him down. And accidentally knocking him over the lifestream and the story would transpire normally as that in the OG moving forwards. But now we have Zack as a defacto leader when Tifa opts out to stay with Cloud.
Alternatively, while it is too dark to see pur boy Cloud in that state. What could transpire would be to have Zack appear in the Mideel just as the gang arrives to fight the weapon that appear. Helping them fend of the said weapon. He is then introduced to the gang with a bit of suspension specially with barret. But it is soon gone once Yuffie finally recognized who he is.
Upon finding Cloud and Tifa unconscious on the ground. Cloud then narrates. Who he trully is. And the facade he built, the life he thought lived. But, just as in the OG. They welcome Cloud just who he is.
Then Zack shares the missing 5 years of their life. The life they spent caged up in a lab and escaping to midgar. With this revalation, everyone was horrified to this. More so Cloud who have no idea that the sole reason for his missing 5 years. The memory he tries to dig up is due to this. Zack then comforts him and reminds him that even without the SOLDIER enhancement, he brought Sephiroth down. And hopefully share his moment that even while impaled, he muster the strength to lift Sephiroth and toss him like a ragdoll down the bottom of the reactor
As Cloud leaves to do something else. Zack and Tifa prepares to leave the room. And being a great bro and a wingman. Zack would say to Tifa "You do know that he was shy around you and it was the sole reason he wore that helmet? And funny enough, while I was closer to him in the entrance, he still checked on you first."
Now, where would Aerith appears? If SE would bring ger back, this might be midway of pt3. Hypothetically, I would assume Sephiroth would still appear while they are on the underwater reactor or even in Cosmo Canyon. Regardless he will still taunt everyone of their futility. And then, just as he is about to unleash his might. White whispers come forth and protects everyone signaling Aerith's return.
As everyone still trying to grasp what is happening and more so the fact that Aerith now returns back from the dead. Amusing Sephiroth and remarking only with "so this is your next move? Have you ran out of cards to play hmm?"
Just as Aerith about to answer his insult, she then glanced a very much alive Zack returned with her friends. Only remarkin "Zack!" Catching this, sephiroth taunts her in his usual smugness. "A reunion? Not for long.". After this fight, with so much hardship and able to catch their breaths. Sephiroth then departs with his usual smugness.
While they are left with more question and a far greater se se of dread with the foe they just fought, they are relived to be reunited with their departed friend. With so much cathing up to have with everyone. Particularly with Zack, Aerith urges everyone to continue.
Then jumping to the final fight, just as they defeated Sephiroth for good. They are still faced with the fact the meteor is still bearing down. Everyone turns to Aerith to ask if it is too late to cast holy to stop this. Aerith then just turn to them smiling and said "oh it is done!". Yet even with this, holy seemingly unable to fully contain the impending doom.
Meanwhile back at the forgotten capital. A familiar hand prays at the very heart of it. Summoning the very essence of the planet itself to destroy the meteor. Amazed by the turn of events, everyon asked Aerith again what did she do? Aerith with her familiar smile. But just as she is about to formulate a response. An ethereal voice echoes around them with the only words saying "Thank you for trusting me". Aerith just nods and remarks "Your welcome!"
Even more bewildered and full of questions. All Aerith would say is for them to leave and enjoy the peace they now have. Still confused with this. They pressed on with their questions. As they go back to midgar, Aerith then explained what have transpired. Still confused but relieved to be reunited with this new found peace. They dare not press further.
Again this is just a theory of mine on how if ever SE would give everyone a happy ending. This will have a lot of holes on it and I fully accept every criticism. Any plot holes will not be resolved since this is just a theory. And apologies for the wrong grammar..

I have studied the Bahá'í Faith for a few years, and as an atheist, I am not only naturally skeptical of its beliefs, but I also feel inclined to criticize the religion. I do not mean to offend any of you and believe that religion should be one's personal choice. In fact, I want to hear your responses to my criticisms.
From my understanding, the Faith is built on three central tenets: the unity of God, the unity of religion, and the unity of humanity. These tenets are all related to each other. The unity of God is the belief that the God of the Bahá'í Faith is the god of all world religions, if I am not mistaken. The unity of religion is the belief that all religions thus come from the same source, even though their beliefs and practices vary. And lastly, the unity of humanity is the belief that Bahá'ís should love and care for all peoples regardless of race, religion, ethnicity, culture, etc. Feel free to correct me in the comments.
I do have some issues with the last two. First of all, how exactly do all religions came from the source? Also, what qualifies as a "religion" to Bahá'ís? Does Scientology count as a religion? What about the Creativity Movement (a white supremacist cult whose members says that their race is their religion)? Is a belief system a "religion" if it comes from God, and is it a cult if it doesn't? If so, then shouldn't polytheistic religions be considered cults because they believe in multiple gods, none of whom are the Abrahamic god? Do Bahá'ís even make a distinction between religions and cults? From my understanding, it seems against their religion to do that, as Bahá'ís are supposed to believe that religions come from the same source and thus must be respected.
This leads me into a greater issue I have, and that's the Paradox of Tolerance. The Paradox of Tolerance, as described by Karl Popper, is the idea that perfect tolerance (tolerance of all peoples and beliefs) only benefits intolerance and thus invariably leads to the destruction of tolerance. If Bahá'is are to "love the world" as they claim, then does that include tolerating intolerance? If so, then I cannot consider that tolerance. This goes back to my earlier question regarding how the faith views cults. Are Bahá'ís taught to believe that the beliefs of people who want to, say, kill every Jew on the planet are to be respected? Such beliefs only serve to endanger a group of people, and in my view, it is immoral to even remain silent on such views. There's an old German quote saying, "If you have ten people and one Nazi at a table and ten other people sitting there talking to him, then you got a table with eleven Nazis." In other words, if a crowd of people does not condemn someone for their extreme and/or hateful beliefs, then they tacitly condone or even endorse such beliefs. My fear is that Bahá'ís inadvertently do this in the name of "unity."
Also, Bahá'ís are not allowed to hold political beliefs, on the basis that political beliefs - namely partisan ones - only serve to divide humanity. Here, my fear is that Bahá'ís are thus required to stay neutral on every single political issue, even when there is one clear "right" position. Most people would likely agree that "The Holocaust was horrible" is a factual statement, even though it is technically subjective. However, some people insist on staying neutral on issues where there is a "correct" viewpoint and an incorrect one. The term "bothsidesism" refers to when someone tries to make something more balanced than it actually is or tries to cover two sides of a debate equally, even though one side is clearly right and the other is clearly wrong. One political cartoonist described bothsidesism thusly: a news outlet giving equal airtime to a NASA scientist and the head of the Flat Earth Society on the topic of the shape of Earth. I'm worried that Bahá'ís may do this in an attempt to remain neutral. In fact, I believe that I have seen some members of this sub do this. The issue is, this can make extremist views appear more moderate and rational than they actually are. I shouldn't have to explain why I think that's a problem.
Overall, my issues stem from the fact that, from my understanding, Bahá'ís are required to stay neutral and accepting at all times, even when it is proper to take a side. The world is not black and white, but it certainly isn't all gray either. Sometimes, there is a "right" opinion. Sometimes, beliefs should not be tolerated. I am willing to hear your rebuttals in the comments. In fact, I am sort of asking to be proven wrong. So please, prove me wrong.

I'm not sure if anyone else has noticed this or if this is controversial to say, but it feels like modern relationships are skewed heavily towards women's needs and women's desires. It's already hard enough to stand out as a guy when finding a woman, but even when you find a woman, it feels like the her needs and desires are always put above yours. The playing field never feels equal.
I've been in some relationships and basically how it always goes, is I feel like my wants and needs and desires are ignored and the focus is always on what she wants and what she needs. She's always right in every issue that happens, she makes all the demands, and like the weight of supporting the relationship falls entirely on you as the man. If something goes wrong, her guy friends will be quick bash you in hopes of sleeping with her, and her girl friends will tell her that you're complete trash and that she deserves everything catered for her. There are so many forces working against you as the man. People act like "too bad, you're the man, you're not supposed to have needs or desires or expectations".
I also hear my sister and her friends talk about what they want in relationships and it makes me really sad. They all want the most perfect, most pristine, most handsome, most tallest, most 100% golden shiny perfect guy. He has to be rich, muscular, good looking, expensive fashion taste, 6 figure salary, etc. Those high expectations aren't just a meme, it actually exists in reality. They draw up all these contradicting things about his personality like "he has to be sweet and sensitive, but aggressive when need be, but not too aggressive but not too sweet and nice, has to agree to marry me within a week, has to wash his hands every 5 minutes, needs to be a 5 star chef, has to do this and be this and do that". Like the guy has to fit these rigorously specific standards and high expectations and has hardly any time to prove himself. And then they'll be like "ewwww I hate when a guy has a stain on his shirt, no thank you, even if he's perfect in every way, a stain on his shirt just gives me the ick". Meanwhile I feel like most men just want a woman who will simply accept them.
I feel like this intense pressure on men to be these perfect gladiators on top of their own needs and desires being largely ignored puts a lot of pressure on men. And I feel like that's why a lot of dudes blow up relationships because they feel so constrained and ignored and pressured. Ofc my sister never understands this side and just thinks she's right and men just need to do better to please her. She's in her mid 30s and still single. She has always fallen in love with eye candy and guys who look good on paper and gets her heart broken, and blatantly ignores guys who are genuinely sweet and have so much to offer even if they might not be the tallest or have gordon ramsey chef skills. I'm sure people will tell me I'm just talking out my ass, but it is a really troubling thing I constantly notice. I don't get how relationships are supposed to last if the focus is solely on one person's needs.

Curious to know how you guys stay motivated while dealing with various mental illness barriers as well as a tarnished outlook on life due to personal life experiences?
For myself, I deal with ADHD, depression and potentially other undiagnosed conditions that I feel make it a struggle to do not only things I know I should be doing, but even things I find enjoyable. I don't think I've always felt this way in life, atleast not to the extent that is is now. For example, I've always had an interest in tech, computers and all that jazz growing up. I definitely struggled with "teenage angst" A.K.A undiagnosed depression when I was younger, but I still found myself motivated to tinker around with Linux, try to learn Python, how to solder, etc. I still struggled with thoughts of suicide and staying focused on tasks at hand, but overall I would say that was a good time period in my life. I enjoyed what I was doing and wanted to not only pursue it as a hobby, but potentially as a career in the future.
Now, years later after some time in the military and post-COVID I am finding it hard to care about pursuing those things, even if I still do find it very interesting and fascinating. I just don't see the point in doing that stuff anymore, because I feel like there isn't really an award for accomplishing those things. Personally I think I'll have to chock it up to forming up a mental blockade in my head to feeling strong emotions from my experience deploying while in the military, as well as having fried dopamine receptors from the lack of tangible reward feedback even with ADHD/depression medications. I don't think any medication can cure a pessimistic outlook on life, I guess.

I’ve been on Pristiq for two years. The first year I was on 25 mg(I know that seems low, but I’m really sensitive to medication so that’s where my doctor wanted to start me).
When I first started the medication, it instantly helped me with my depression and anxiety, which was something I really needed at the time. After about a year I felt like the 25 mg wasn’t working as much so we decided to up to 50mg. I’ve been on 50mg for the past year.
Fast-forward to today, last week, I decided that I wanted to start my journey of going off. The real reason I wanna go off is because I’ve started to feel really numb and really out of touch with my emotions. If something bad happens I don’t really react and the same if something good happens.. I’ve felt so meh..
I’ve also gained 20 pounds on Pristiq with no real lifestyle or diet changes. It hurt when my Psych told me that the weight gain was probably just due to aging… btw I’m only 27. I don’t think it’s normal to gain 20 pounds in two years between the ages of 25 and 27 if you’ve made no lifestyle changes..
When I talked to my Psych about going off she wasn’t very supportive. She told me it would probably be better to transition to another medication as going off of SNRIS has been known to be challenging. This is something I wish I would’ve known when I first started the medication. I guess I never really thought that going off could ever be more challenging than what it felt like before I was on.
The original plan was to reduce from 50 to 25 for 3 weeks and then 25 to 0.
The main symptoms from going off, I’ve had really bad stomach issues rushing to the bathroom basically accidentally almost pooping my pants on multiple occasions.
My head has hurt and it honestly just felt like a really bad hangover, Psych wanted to stay on the 25 mg for 3 weeks before trying to reduce down to zero but after reading through hundreds of Reddit threads, I decided to just go to 0 mg three days into taper. I know this i gonna get a lot of backlash but from what i read it seems the tapper from 25 to 0 is horrible so i wanted to just push through. I also know im strong enough to handle it and id rather not extend how shit the 25 to 0 is gonna be.
I’m on day seven now and I’m feeling a lot better. Here are a few things that have really been helping me. I hope posting this helps other people because none of this information was accessible to me.

1. Prioritize sleep I’ve been trying to sleep at least 10 hours a night and that really seems to help.
   
2. Exercise as much as you can that’s been really helping with the headaches the nausea and just overall feeling better mentally.
   
3. I’ve been tracking all my calories and not eating any processed foods or carbohydrates other than fruits and honey. I’ve been prioritizing protein, focused meals, and trying to drink tons of water. Also drinking electrolytes.
   
4. I’ve been taking a bath every day with Epsom salts and baking soda. Baking soda helps naturally remove any toxins in your body. Make sure to keep water with you because sitting in there for a while sometimes I get nauseous.
   
5. Because your brain will probably feel really out of whack I make a list every day of just five things I need to get done. I’ve definitely found that my brain is constantly rushing with new ideas and a lot of the time. I’m just on the brink of crying for no reason. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I refer back to the list of the five things I need to do and just focus on those that’s really been helping me get through it.
   
6. Having some type of bubbly water has also really helped me with the nausea. I have been drinking the energy drink Celsius and just sipping on it throughout the day it seems that the caffeine and the bubbles have really just helped me be able to have some type of energy and focus. I don’t drink the whole thing at once, but instead just sip on it throughout the day keeping it cold in the fridge.
   

Anyways, those are the main things that have been helping me. I know that it’s really hard when you feel like you have to get off of antidepressants and you remember how challenging it was before them but I’m praying for all of us and I know that will get through it. 🤍