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My second to last quarter just ended and I'm pretty swamped with final reports right now, but I'm almost through. Not to mention, the next seven weeks are going to be pretty light because of a sudden lack of classes, since I busted my butt finishing up my remaining credits. I've decided to dedicate this time to (among other things) a writing frenzy! I wanna get some serioussss backlogs up because who knows how busy I'm going to be after graduation. (Not to mention, I'm having some troubles getting my VISA renewed, but that's a personal issue).
Anyways, don't wanna bore you with irl stuff. You're here for food and gay furry romance! So as always, I hope you enjoy reading! :D
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Note: This is a Fanfic of the Nature of Predators series by u/Spacepaladin15, that is being reposted from the NatureofPredators sub. Please support the original content.
Thank you to Philodox on discord for proofreading and editing RfD.
Thank you to Pampanope on reddit for the cover art.
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Memory Transcript Subject: Sylvan, Venlil Citizen
Date: [Standardized Human Time]: December 13, 2136
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It wasn’t too long that I was absent from the event. Sure, Kenta and I had run into a few hiccups when trying to load up the cart, but that was to be expected. Just looking at the absolute behemoth of an edible pile that he had somehow been able to put together in such a short amount of time, it was a wonder just how we were able to fit them all on there in the first place. And the promise that there was still more yet to be brought out had left me astonished. If I hadn’t already seen the ravenous vortex of Venlil that had so efficiently done away with the other dishes, I might have actually been worried about leftovers.
The food in question, long tubes made out of some kind of starchy form of strayu and packaged in an even starchier husk, were stacked in circular pyramids atop three large trays. As it turned out, this delicacy was the same “Tamale” recipe that I had heard mentioned the day before, the sheer amount being the product of Kenta’s, Julio’s, and even Jeela’s preparations. Unfortunately, I hadn’t received the full explanation of what they were just yet, but Kenta had thankfully given me at least a quick rundown.
Using the same steaming methods as the gyoza, these tamales had been folded carefully over a mix of fresh, crisp vegetables whose scent floated around each in a rich aura. They were hot out of the steamer, a cloud of gaseous water encircling the air above it in a decadent plume. If I hadn’t known better, with the combined mass of the tamales and the sheer volume of steam they collectively released, it might have made me believe the cart itself to be on fire. But of course, there was no such thing, and the cloud that spread into the sky only served to sweeten the air.
As I rolled out the cart, I looked at one last addition to the ensemble. There in a large bowl was something that Kenta hadn’t mentioned in the slightest when explaining the recipe and reasonings behind the tamales, and I had been so urgent to get these out the door that I’d forgotten to press for more details. It had been left in the refrigerator since the day before, which I had only noticed when doing inventory after the fiasco of event preparations.
‘It completely slipped my mind until now… I’m glad I didn’t forget it. Especially after what that note said.’
When I had found the bowl, a small piece of paper had been taped to it. On which, an alien text had been inscribed that required me to use my visual translator to make any sense of. It had been nothing but obvious that holding up the translator informed me that the language was indeed Terran. But what confused me was that instead of the morphemic script that I had come to slightly recognize from Kenta’s subculture, it instead appeared to be something more alphabetic.
On it, the note simply read: “Make sure to serve this with the tamales, my friend. Don’t forget!”
Additionally, below those words had appeared to be an additional message. That one, however, was partially scribbled out. When I scanned that one as well, the translator had taken a long time to process, and its output remained considerably fractured: “**od l*ck wit* y*u* n*w boyf***nd.”
Having not thought much of the note, I had just barely remembered to retrieve the bowl from the fridge and put it on the card while Kenta was off busy grabbing one last batch of tamales before rushing me out the door. I shook it out of my mind for the time being. After all, right now there were more pressing things to manage.
Wheeling the cart back outside, I was hit with the briefest shortage of breath. It had only been a momentary respite, but shifting from the quiet of the empty diner to the lively atmosphere of a crowded party would never not be a shock. By now, enough people had shown up that the event could already be considered at max capacity. People from all over filled the street, chatting and conversing in a rambunctious, lively gusto.
To see so many people take the time out of their schedules and come down to my family’s diner just because of the promise of our food… It was almost overwhelming, enough to bring a brief tear to the eye reminiscent of my reaction to that very first wave of people Ginro had brought soon after I first hired Kenta. I took a moment just to bask in it. A feeling I had all but begun to grow almost too accustomed to. A feeling of success, and of pride. And as I once again continued pushing the cart past the crowds of chatty party attendees, along with the piles of wool that it entailed, that feeling continued to pour into me. It was all almost too much to hear at once.
“Hey Sylvan! Great party!” said one voice to my left.
“Amazing food as always, Lackadaisy guy! I can’t get enough of these little strayu things in the salad!” piped another to my right.
“Ooooo! What are those things?” asked one more as I passed by them, who excitedly eyed up the stack of tamales I was delivering.
I laughed along and chatted with people on my way to one of the tables, chuckling at their jokes and accepting their praise on behalf of both myself and the mysterious ‘Kahnta.’ With each pleased guest and hungry gaze, I couldn’t help but feel myself bloom in sheer joy at the tidal wave of enthusiastic complements.
That was… until one otherwise innocent comment sounded from behind me.
“So you’re telling me this was all made by one chef?” they asked one of their friends, not intending me to hear as they talked with their mouth half stuffed with food. Looking closer, I could see that they were two Gojids chatting with one another. “Better enjoy it now, I guess. Not gonna be long before some fancy place in the Capital comes and recruits them. Honestly, if the owner of this place wants to have any hope of holding on to them, he better marry them or something.”
The partygoer’s friend laughed, “Well if he doesn’t, then I will! Can you imagine eating something like this every day?”
I couldn’t help but bloom even more overhearing this. But this was a different kind of feeling. Not the gentle warmth of normal delight, but instead the torrid heat of surging emotions. And as I began nonchalantly transferring the steaming tamales to one of the tables, these emotions steamed to the surface of my mind as well.
It was a mix of things that fueled my silent reaction. At first, the implication of asking Kenta into matehood was… well it was certainly something. I was sure the two Gojids were simply making innocent remarks, assuming that the lie about my precious chef being another, completely ordinary Venlil was correct, not realizing in the slightest just how much the implication left me flummoxed. And in normal circumstances, it would have been just that, a simple perk of the ears and a brief daydream of something so far away from me. But after yesterday, things had changed.
The previous day had been eventful, to say the least. I had eaten some amazing pastries and listened to an even more amazing alien melody. Only for it all to come crashing down when my idiotic brain forgot to turn back on the translator before pouring out my entire menagerie of pent up emotions before Kenta. My one chance to seize an opportunity at the height of a courageous high, only to tumble and fall flat during the execution. Even worse, I couldn’t muster the bravery to say the same thing even one more time.
I had completely blown it. And needless to say, I wasn’t exactly keen on remembering my mistakes from that previous day, especially during such a pivotal event. The only mediocre condolence I could take from the whole ordeal being the opportunity of waking up next to Kenta that same day. But even that was cut much too short by the mad rush to get preparation ready for the event.
‘I can still remember how warm he felt… And how peaceful he looked when his eyes were closed…’ I thought to myself in deep reminiscence.
“Hey there Sylvan!”
‘I can’t get it out of my head…! Ugh! I wish it wasn’t just a one time thing…’
“Sylvan?”
‘If we really were together romantically, then maybe I could see that every day… But that’s not–’
“Sylvan!!”
The moment my attention was pulled away from my internal thoughts, I audibly bleated out a high pitched noise of surprise, “Eeep!”
My ears jutted up and my tail straightened like a steel beam. My attention shifted over to my side, where I soon realized Fehnel now stood. She had her paws held firmly on her hips, with a head tilted to the side in a half puzzled, half amused demeanor. Then, when I realized I had been staring a little too long without saying anything, I quickly turned my attention back to the table.
“Oh hey Fehnel!” I stuttered out. “Didn’t see you there!”
“Sorry if I sneaked up on ya, hun,” Fehnel replied with a single wag of the tail. “Got somethin’ on the mind, I’m assumin’?”
The image of Kenta and I huddled together on my couch flashed through my mind once more, before I quickly shook it away. “Uhhhh… Nope! I’m just really focussing here on getting these tamales out.”
“‘Tamales,’ huh?” Fehnel chuckled. “Well between this and that ‘gee-yo-za’ stuff, I think I’m startin’ to give up on predictin’ what crazy name Kahnta’ll come up with next.”
“Yeah it’s pretty… uh–” I coughed awkwardly, clearing something nonexistent out of my throat. “It’s pretty creative.”
“You can say that again. By this point, they’re startin’ to sound almost alien!” Fehnel laughed again, and I cringed as the irony fell over deaf ears. “But hey, who am I to judge! I mean, to me all the stuff on this planet is alien, so what’s another ‘Tamale’ added to the pile, yeah?”
I had to stop my ears and head from shrinking too far towards the ground.
“Anyways, I’m assumin’ these are the actual foods I requested Kahnta to create, right?” Fehnel continued to ask.
“Uh– Y-yeah, yes they ar–” I tried to say before one of Fehnel’s paws suddenly reached out and grabbed my wrist.
“Great!” she beamed, before dragging me away into one of the many chatty piles of fluffy wool that constituted our event.
It didn’t take more than a few rushed steps before I was suddenly pulled in front of another Yotul and Venlil, who I did well to recognize immediately. It seemed as though Kadew and Vuilen had arrived, the former of which looking just about as nervous as I had expected. Vuilen, on the other paw, was anything but. Her tail was wagging furiously, almost impossibly giddy with enthusiasm as her ears shifted around a swivel, likely allowing every new smell and sound to pull her attention to and fro.
Fehnel dragged me forward and plopped me down right in front of the two, before saying, “Tell them what you just told me.”
Vuilen leaned forward, bestowing me her full attention, while Kadew remained stationary, only doing as much as to straighten a single, skeptical ear.
“W-well, uh…” I stumbled, before quickly getting my act together. “Among a number of new strayu recipes, the main entree for today’s event is called ‘Tamales.’”
“Oooo!” Vuilen beamed. “What’s that, Lackadaisy guy? It sounds awesome!”
“According to Kahnta, it’s a mix of vegetables folded in a spongy strayu wrap and steamed inside a starchy husk. And…” I tilted my ears towards Kadew, “It’s supposedly a specialty that is designed to be eaten during times of celebration with family. Regardless of whether they be by blood, or found.”
Kadew huffed a short breath, before folding her arms. But before she got the chance to speak, Vuilen’s enthused voice overtook it. The black and white wooled Venlil leaned into her smaller Yotul partner and pulled them into a strong hug.
“Hear that, Dew? It’s like this food was MADE for your Running Day!” Vuilen piped, bouncing up and down like a cub and bringing the now deeply blooming Kadew along for the ride. “Well… I guess it literally was, but you know what I mean! Either way, there’s like a million new kinds of strayu foods here! Can you believe that? I think I even saw some sylvanas over on that table there! Can you even begin to wonder what they taste like? Oh my Sol, I’m so excited!”
Kadew, whose previously unimpressed countenance now had more steam coming out of her ears than the tamales off in the distance, stuttered out her response. “Uh– Uhmm– That’s… that’s great…”
“I know right!” Vuilen squealed. “This is going to be the BEST Running Day ever! I’m so happy for you!”
I couldn’t help but giggle out in response to this, something which Fehnel had long since been doing on her own volition. Unfortunately for Kadew, this did nothing to ease the sheer amount of embarrassment already flying around her dazed face.
“Of course, all guests are free to eat their fill, especially those invited by the Claw’s Lady herself,” I said, before gesturing a paw towards Fehnel. “All of it has been covered in advance by our generous sponsor.”
Vuilen retreated from her hug just as quickly as it had started, twisting her attention back towards Fehnel and I. “Really? I still can’t believe you’re just giving away all this for free!”
She walked towards the two of us, leaving a still dazed Kadew behind her, before rushing to give Fehnel herself another brief hug. “Thank you so much again for organizing something like this, ma’am.”
Fehnel returned the embrace, having nothing but pure pride and joy radiate through her voice. “Of course, hun. I hope you and my daughter enjoy your date.”
“Oh we will!” Vuilen replied quickly, pulling back once again. Just as fast, she began making a beeline for the buffet tables, almost disappearing into the crowd of fellow Venlil fluff before her voice was heard once more. “I’ll be back in a jiffy, Dew! I just gotta try some of this stuff before it’s all gone!”
Before she was out of range, I twisted around, raised a paw up to my mouth, and stood up high to help carry my voice after her. “Don’t forget to save room for dessert!”
Turning back, I joined Fehnel once again in her chuckling. It didn’t take long for Fehnel to comment on the situation now that Vuilen was out of earshot.
She leaned over and gently nudged me in the leg with her tail. “She’s a riot, ain’t she? Does my daughter know how to pick em’, or what?”
“Oh yeah, I’ve seen them together in the diner all the time. Honestly, I’ve been wondering how long it was going to take to knit that scarf,” I commented, referencing one of the more common and romantic Venlil courtship rituals.
“Guys I can HEAR YOU!” Kadew yelped, now seemingly freed of her hug-induced daze.
“Oh hun don’t you worry yourself about us,” Fehnel replied, a slight hum to her voice. “Us adults can’t help but watch the young love bloom.”
“That guy’s barely older than I am!” Kadew shot back, raising a finger to point at me.
I raised two paws in defence, much too similar to the way Kenta does when he’s been caught teasing me. “Hey, doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate it when I see it. You’re doing great, by the way.”
The teasing, however, had been lost on her. I had meant it in good will, but my words had only served to aggravate Kadew, and she huffed out an annoyed breath. Then, she started stomping rapidly in place, her trained legs moving in a blur like overclocked turbines. From even the briefest glance, I could tell that something had been pulling away at her tail, and our comments were doing it no favours.
“Uhh… are you alright?” I asked tentatively.
“ARGH!” she groaned back. “No! No, I am very much NOT alright! Running Day’s here already, I feel like a pile of speh, my fur’s a mess, and I’m FREAKING THE BRAHK OUT!!”
‘Quite the vocabulary on this one, apparently,’ I judged silently, wondering how my mother would have reacted to hearing me talk like that.
“Honey, Vuilen’s not gonna care about any of that silly stuff,” Fehnel said jovially. “Why, I remember bein’ covered in dried mud the first time I went on a date with your father. We went down to the creek together and took turns tossing water at each other. Then, we went down to the local actin’ house and watched a show. But even after all of that, I still had a bit of dried mud crusted on my fur, but your father didn’t mind. Said it gave me ‘character,’ of all the silly things.”
“Isn’t dried mud just dirt?” I asked.
“Naw, see, dirt is sand, silt, and clay, but it only becomes mud when it has a higher content of clay.”
“So then what happens when dirt gets wet but doesn’t have a lot of clay?”
“Wet dirt.”
“Ah.”
“WHAT ARE YOU BRAHKING TALKING ABOUT!?” Kadew squealed in a panic, her stomping had not ceased in the slightest. She threw her paws up and pulled her ears down over her eyes. “Dirt and mud! That’s all that we Yotul talk about apparently! And trains! Can’t forget the brahking trains! Stars above, that’s all people ever say!”
“Trains are cool,” I said indifferently.
“I don’t care!” she huffed, before turning to Fehnel. “Mom. What if Vuilen comes back and sees you talking about dirt? She’ll just see that it’s the only thing a primitive uplift is capable of understanding! Do you really want to prove her right?”
Fehnel looked shocked, but replied nonetheless. “Has… she said something like that before?”
“Well…! No…! But…” Kadew stomped again. “She might, okay!? Especially if she sees you actively talking about it!”
“To be fair, I asked,” I replied. “Besides, Vuilen seems like a smart girl. She wouldn’t make a rash assumption about the Yotul based off some random remark. Relationships are stronger than that. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“What do you know about it!?” Kadew shot back, releasing her ears and letting them perk up to max height. “Unless I missed something, I don’t see you dating any other Venlil in that restaurant of yours! How do you know if any of this is fine!?”
Fehnel’s voice soured immediately. “Kadew! That is no way to talk to our new business partner! He was just tryin’ to help! Apologize this instant!”
Realizing something had shifted without my notice, I tried to mellow my voice in an attempt to calm the situation down. “Oh, that won’t be necessar–”
“No,” Fehnel interrupted. “I refuse to let my daughter be rude to anyone. We might not have much, but we at least have manners.” She turned her attention back to her daughter. “Kadew, if you have a problem, then I want you to tell me about it. If there’s somethin’ we can do to help, then–”
“No no, it’s not…” Kadew replied, bringing two fingers up to pinch the bridge of her snout. “It’s not that…”
“It’s not what?” Fehnel tried to guess. “It’s with Vuilen, isn’t it? You’re afraid she’ll not be able to appreciate the Runnin’ Day? Listen, I know this isn’t Leirn, but Sylvan and I are kickin’ our hardest to make it special for you regardless. Sure, it’s not the most traditional, but I’m sure Vuilen won’t mind! I understand that livin’ on a new planet is taxin’, the gravity here especially, but as foreigners it’s our job to show these nice people where we come from. We’re Yotul, and nothin’ will change that!”
“Mom…” Kadew grunted back, before taking a deep breath.
Before she could speak, Fehnel continued with a proud wag to her tail. “Do you remember what a Runnin’ Day is all about, Kadew? It’s about all the cubs that came of age that year comin’ together and sayin’ that they’ll be fine by themselves. But it’s also about family. It’s about knowin’ that no matter where you run off to, I’ll be there to support you. But you’re makin’ it real hard to do that every time you don’t tell me what the matter is! And if you don’t, how can I make this Runnin’ Day the best it can–”
“But it’s not a Running Day, is it!” Kadew yelled, instantly shutting Fehnel up.
Her mother stared forward blankly, stumbling over a few unclear words. “Wh-what do you…”
“It’s not a Running Day!” Kadew repeated. “It’s not! I mean look around you!” She lifted her arms up dramatically, motioning towards the crowds of unaware Venlil around us. “We’re the only Yotul here! We’re the only two people that even know what a Running Day is, and I’m pretty sure we’re the only people that care!”
I tried to speak, “Umm… I know what a Running Day i–” but the look of animosity Kadew immediately shot my way gave me Jeela flashbacks, and I shut up just as quick.
“Kadew… Hun, that’s not true,” Fehnel tried to defend. “I’m sure they’d be willing to open their minds if we just–”
“What? Tell them all about how great it is to come from an Uplift planet? Talk about brahking DIRT some more!? Careful there Mom, don’t want to spoil their meal!” Kadew continued her berating. “Because you and I both know that the only reason anyone even showed up to this thing is because of that guy’s food!” Another finger was shot out in my direction. “Even you know there’s nothing special about your stupid Uplift culture! There’s nothing here even remotely related to the Yotul! It’s all just Venlil decorations and Venlil food, for our solely Venlil guests! And look!!” She pointed directly at the statue Jeela had placed as the centerpiece. “They have a statue of a Venlil as the center of everything! It’s the star attraction, not us! They couldn’t give a damn about me or Running Day or our culture or… or anything!”
Fehnel appeared to be on the verge of tears.
“And now I’ve got to find some kind of excuse for all this!” Kadew added. “It’s bad enough I had to drag Vuilen into pretending to care about the Yotul. But now the entire town is a part of it too! They’re laughing at us, Mom! Just like at school! Just like everywhere else I go! They’re laughing at us and you’re proud about it!”
From the verge of tears, Fehnel’s voice had croaked into a soft weep. A glimmering stream of water had begun to crawl down the ridge of her rust-coloured face.
“I hate being born a Yotul! I hate this gross, rusty fur! I hate everyone thinking I’m primitive and that I must be in love with trains and steam engines! And I hate you trying to push your culture on me! Cause guess what? I’ve never even seen Leirn! It’s NOT my home and you need to stop pretending it is!”
Fehnel stood simply aghast, the occasional choked-up garble of sounds emerging from her throat. Meanwhile, I stood speechless as well. Obviously, I had accidentally walked in on and been exposed to something that had been going on for quite a while. But even worse, it seems as though I had done nothing but fanned the flame of this long-fueled fire. Instinctively, I began taking a few steps back to give the two their space, which went unnoticed by either party.
Fehnel swallowed, her eyes still welling tears. “I… I…” she tried to say, but no words would form. Instead, she choked on her own voice. And Kadew, who stood waiting for a response, sucked in heavy loads of air in the fleeting hope to catch her breath.
But instead of an answer, all that any of us heard was a scream.
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The boy who took my heart
but gave it back after crumbling it
Daylan Meadows my first heartbreak, it was truly one of the biggest learning experiences I’ve had so far. I loved him, I really did, and I know he loved me. But, not a single relationship is perfect. We weren't even close to perfect, but it felt perfect. He felt perfect. What I didn't realize was how emotionally damaging that relationship was until I lost him.
It was the summer of 2020, mid June when we first met. I was thirteen and he was seventeen. That night I was with all of my friends, we picked him up from his mamaw's house. At the time we were in different relationships. He was with a girl named Ciara, and was living with her in Berea. I was with a boy named Sam. Which was Daylans cousin, but I had met him through Jayla way before Daylan. But that night I remember seeing him, there was something different and special about him. We all drove around for a while talking and laughing about the most random things. We haven't really talked that night or after, there were times we would catch each other looking at the other. After a week or two Sam and I broke up. Jayla and I wanted to go do something before we packed her stuff to her apartment, so we invited Daylan. While driving around he had asked me how my relationship was going. Before I could say anything, Jayla told him that Sam and I broke up. He told me he was sorry to hear that but when I looked at the rearview mirror he had a big beautiful smile on his face. He started flirting with me, and we instantly connected. He told me how he and Ciara were over but he was still trying to get the stuff his papaw gave him. He never lied to me about their relationship. So we were always hanging out with each other, but he didn’t want everyone knowing, because he didn't want to hurt Sam. We hid it for a little bit. Then one day we were riding around with everyone, me and him were in the back seat. I had laid my head down because I had gotten car sick. When he saw he laid his head down with me making sure I was okay. Afterwards, he laid his hand on my knee showing me he was there for me not caring who saw.
I was falling for him. Everything about him I was falling for, the way his eyes form a yellow sunflower in the brightest baby blue, how they glistened in the sun, the way his big smile could bring light to every dark corner, the freckles that are placed perfectly on his skin, the way his voice made me feel at home, or how his jokes was always funny, but the way he looked at me, the way his skin peacefully touched mine, and the way he spoke to me with love are some of the many reasons I was falling in love with him. There was a night I never wanted to let him go. We laid there, soaking in every moment. He thought I had already fallen asleep, he pulled me in closer rubbing his finger against my cheek. I could feel him looking at me, but not just looking at me he saw me for who I was. He saw me. That’s all I ever wanted, and he gave it to me. The next morning It was just me and him and things started to progress. But the one thing I didn’t want him seeing, he saw. I was waiting for him to judge me, he never did. Instead he asked me why, the one thing no one took the time to ask. I opened up to him and he saw me, he understood me. He helped me. We were never apart, we were figuring out life together. He ended up living with me for a couple months. He was the first person to meet my mom. After we had gone and seen her, we had to stay at my aunt's house after we got back. The day we were leaving she had gotten into an argument with me. A lot of it was because of our age. Then that night he had to go back and live at his mamaws, but he was always there when I needed him. It never made us any different. He never left, he always chose me.
A year goes by 2021, we did everything together, we were experiencing everything together. Even though we had a hard time with our relationship we promised we will get through it together. We facetimed everyday, and sleep on the phone together. We even had a good night saying that we would say every night. We had gotten a dog, her name was lady may. We called her lady. After we had her for a while we had gotten willow. He and I did everything together and we always supported each other. I always made sure everyone knew I was his biggest fan. One time he let me bleach his hair and it had turned out orange. It was the funniest thing ever. We laughed about it for days. It was the little things that truly meant the most. We went to birthday parties, dinners, get-togethers, we were always there for one another. We opened up to each other more about our past. There were times we held each other on my bedroom floor as we cried together. We were learning more about each other everyday. He helped me eat when I couldn't even move out of bed. He would set alarms for every hour, so I could at least take a bite of something. He helped me when everyone was against me. He always stuck up for me. We loved each other more everyday.
After two years 2022, he got his own place, Sam and his dad Matt were also living with him. The relationship was getting hard, he would want me to stay the night with him but wouldn't want me to stay alone with Sam. I had understood why, that wasn't the problem though. The problem was he didn't trust me, so I would have to get Alicia to come over when he worked. Then he would still tell me how he dont trust me. I told him I could go home when he was going to work. Then that would lead to another argument because I didn't want to spend time with him. But we promised we would get through it together, and we did. That September he went 3 hours away for trade school. It sucked at first we missed seeing each other everyday but we still stayed. We got through it together. He came home and signed up for the marines. I didn't know about it until after. At first I was mad he didn't talk to me about it, after i supported him in every way possible. I was so proud of him, I still am. He had come so far in life and was chasing his dreams. How could i not support the boy who was so excited, the boy i loved more than anything, more than myself, the boy i wanted to be happy. He was happy so I supported him and that December he left. We wrote letters back and forth for three months. I was the first person he called when he only had one phone call and hadn't talked to anyone. When he came home it was like we had never been apart. Every little moment meant so much to us. Trying to salvage every ounce of each other before he had to go. Most of the time we sat in bed watching our favorite shows, talking about everything that has happened in the past three months. Then he had to leave all over again.
Summer 2023 was the hardest. He had gone back but was moved to North Carolina. We were doing so good, until we weren't. We argued all the time, he wouldn't call me or he would stay out all night and ignore me. I tried so hard to work it out. We promised we will get through it together. I went to visit him 9 hours away from home with my brother, Savannah, and sissy. The whole time we were there I had a feeling, I didn't know what it was.Then that night I ended up going through his phone. I didn't find anything serious but it did cause an argument. He had blamed it on me because I went through his phone and the only reason he was mad was because I woke him up. But I forgave him and pushed it away. He always apologized and tried to make it up to me, we always got through it together. I had ended up getting home 3 days after, that night we were on FaceTime and he was already asleep. I kept getting the feeling that I wanted to login to his Snapchat. At first I didn’t but the thought of it was making me sick. I knew something wasn’t right, and when I did I found it. I'll never be able to describe the sinking feeling in my chest, the feeling of wanting to throw up because your world is crumbling down, that full minute of silence, betrayal, heartbreak, how every breath felt harder and harder to reach, the way my hands started shaking with nothing but the thoughts racing through my head, and how my knees felt like giving out each step i took when walking down stairs to savannah. I don’t even know how I formed enough words or power to tell her I needed her to come upstairs with me. She could just see the look on my face. Running up the stairs I handed her my phone. Before she could even say anything I was on my knees bawling cursing him. I had woken him up, and he seemed so worried about me. Asking me what was wrong, what happened, am I okay? But I told him I knew about kaylee, the girl he was in the marines with and he went silent. Every question he said nothing, I called him every name in the book. Nothing. After 3 hours he finally told me. And I got off the phone. He checked on me every hour begging me to call him. I had ended things, I was so wrapped up in our relationship that I didn't think I could live without him. But at that moment I could. That was the first time he broke my heart, because even though we got back together, that wasn’t the end of it for him.
Two weeks later we found out I was pregnant, we were fixing everything we were doing well. I was still hurt but I had a baby to worry about now. We were so excited, we were planning everything. Until I started bleeding I knew something was wrong the first time it happened, everyone told me it was normal to spot in your first trimester. After a couple of days of bleeding more I went to the hospital. They did all kinds of tests and told me to come back in forty eight hours to check my hcg levels. When I went back my levels were dropping, they told me to come back in forty eight again. The day I was supposed to go back was horrible. I got up that morning, and was going to make myself some oatmeal. I was washing a bowl out, and got every light headed. I sat down for a minute, once I wasn't light headed anymore I got back up and continued to make the oatmeal. Not even a minute after standing back up I felt like I was going to pass out and throw up at the same time. Savannah was in the kitchen with me and she helped me sit down. She was going to finish making my oatmeal but I had to get up and run to the bathroom. I was trying to throw up but I couldn't. I had put myself on the toilet and pushed. My whole body drained, I was in so much pain. I managed to wipe myself and pull my underwear up, then I was on the floor screaming and crying. Savannah was trying to give me medicine but I was throwing everything up. She had called my sister, once she got there they put me in the car. I was passing in and out from the pain, my sister was rushing me to the hospital. After they took what feels like every test in the world, they finally told me. I was having a miscarriage. At first I didn't know how to feel but that night Savannah laid in bed holding me as I was bawling, asking God why he is doing this to me. Daylan tried to be there but didn’t know how. The next two weeks were really hard. Daylan got to come home, we never talked about the miscarriage. We fought the whole time because I found more stuff on his phone. I promised him I would never touch his phone again that I put it on our baby, and the words I never thought I would hear from him hurt me more than anything I’ve experienced. He told me we didn’t have a baby together. He broke my heart again. Those three weeks we were together again, I would cry almost every day in fear of an argument because I didn't want him out all night drinking. I had to beg him numerous times to not drink, he would be a complete asshole. But at the end of the day I would try and do everything I could to show I was a good girlfriend and that I was worth keeping. Then he left again, we were off and on that whole time nothing really changed. We argued or wouldn’t talk at all, there would be times where we would laugh and joke about everything because we saw each other. We were the only people who knew each other inside and out. The special FaceTime movie nights and how he would beg me to sing him to sleep. That never changed. My love for him always stayed the same. We’ll get through this together. We had to, we promised we would. Maybe this time we can fix it, maybe when he comes back home.
I never thought that when he did come home it would be the last time I saw him. I was so excited to be with him to be able to spend time together. But this would be the time he proves to me that he is changing and becoming better for us. The first night was amazing. We laid on the couch laughing and crying because we didn’t want to let each other go. He asked me if we were going to be okay with tears in his eyes. While holding him I told him yes we are going to be okay we are going to get through this together. He left the next morning. I didn't see him for two days. He told me he was going to hang out with buddies, but I never heard of them until then. I knew something wasn’t right, so I told him that. He told me I have nothing to worry about because he wants to come see me when I get home. On my way to my sisters I was telling Jayla about him going to Leslie co and that’s when she told me a girl named alyssa from there is reacting to his Facebook post. I ended up texting him about it and the whole time he lied to me. So I texted her and she told me the truth, and that indescribable feeling in your chest, the silence, the breaths, it all came flowing back as I’m on the kitchen floor of my sister's house bawling, begging god for us to be okay, begging god to not let me lose him. That’s when he texted me saying we will never be okay and we know that. He broke my heart again. I was begging for him not to go. I was laying in bed that night with the worst ache in my chest begging him to choose me. But he didn’t, after three years and everything we’ve been through he didn’t choose me. As my world was crumbling he handed me my crumble up heart, and chose hers. I packed up everything over the past three years for him to come get. And he did, he held me for the last time as I buried my wet face into where his neck met his shoulder. I wanted to memorize his scent as he drove away. I watched him turn away to leave and I swear to you I wanted to scream. I wanted to run after him, I wanted to beg him one more time to choose me, to love me, I wanted him. Then he drove away perfectly fine, not looking back, leaving me and my crumbled heart behind.
It’s been six months. You didn't tell me happy birthday three months ago, I waited all day. It was so hard at first, I didn't know how to be without him. He’s all I’ve ever known. But now I've felt so relieved and happy. I made plans to actually hang out with my friends again, focus on school and I've passed all of my classes for the first time in years. I know he would be so proud of me, we would be celebrating. I’ve hardly cried. And I still miss him everyday and hope for a text or call. He meant the world to me, he was honestly my best friend. I wouldn't change anything about us, I would never choose anyone else to go through it with. I will always care for him, and I'll forever wish he would come back one day so we can make it right. Maybe one day when we have grown up our paths will lead us back to each other, and we won't give up. But right now I feel like myself again. And they seem happy together. I would never want to get in their way or ruin their relationship. All I want is for him to be happy and if she's what makes him happy that's good enough for me. Although I was scared to lose him, I now love myself. I love him and I always will, but with loving him, I figured out how to love myself because Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” I hope love never fails you, I hope you never have to question your worth, I hope you find peace in your sad moments because hunny you deserve the world and its entirety. You're a reminder that there is love on the hardest days. A reminder that even though I was in a bad place, I don’t need anyone but myself to be happy and honest. You showed me everything I was capable of. You showed me the importance of loving myself before I lose myself. You showed me how important I am to others. I lost myself through it all but in the end I picked myself back up and continued walking forward. I finally see myself with love and beauty, as if all my insecurities had gone away. I see myself how you once saw me. I know how happy you would be for me and all of my accomplishments. You would be hyping me up for days, you would remind me every hour that I'm doing amazing, how proud you are, and how you knew I could do it. I just wish you realize before it’s too late, you need to love yourself before others. You could lose yourself on the way. Not all stories have a happy ending, but ours had a happy middle and beginning and that will always be enough because it means that we are a story worth remembering. That our love was real, because loving you is easy and letting go is hard. I so deeply love you Daylan Meadows. I hope one day we can come together, and love won’t fail us. So please don't forget the songs we listened to, or the things we talked about, the little inside jokes we had, or the laughs we shared. Please don't forget my smile, or the sound of my voice. Just please don't forget me.
Love, Neo<3

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My second to last quarter just ended and I'm pretty swamped with final reports right now, but I'm almost through. Not to mention, the next seven weeks are going to be pretty light because of a sudden lack of classes, since I busted my butt finishing up my remaining credits. I've decided to dedicate this time to (among other things) a writing frenzy! I wanna get some serioussss backlogs up because who knows how busy I'm going to be after graduation. (Not to mention, I'm having some troubles getting my VISA renewed, but that's a personal issue).
Anyways, don't wanna bore you with irl stuff. You're here for food and gay furry romance! So as always, I hope you enjoy reading! :D
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Thank you to Philodox on discord for proofreading and editing RfD.
Thank you to Pampanope on reddit for the cover art.
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Memory Transcript Subject: Sylvan, Venlil Citizen
Date: [Standardized Human Time]: December 13, 2136
​
It wasn’t too long that I was absent from the event. Sure, Kenta and I had run into a few hiccups when trying to load up the cart, but that was to be expected. Just looking at the absolute behemoth of an edible pile that he had somehow been able to put together in such a short amount of time, it was a wonder just how we were able to fit them all on there in the first place. And the promise that there was still more yet to be brought out had left me astonished. If I hadn’t already seen the ravenous vortex of Venlil that had so efficiently done away with the other dishes, I might have actually been worried about leftovers.
The food in question, long tubes made out of some kind of starchy form of strayu and packaged in an even starchier husk, were stacked in circular pyramids atop three large trays. As it turned out, this delicacy was the same “Tamale” recipe that I had heard mentioned the day before, the sheer amount being the product of Kenta’s, Julio’s, and even Jeela’s preparations. Unfortunately, I hadn’t received the full explanation of what they were just yet, but Kenta had thankfully given me at least a quick rundown.
Using the same steaming methods as the gyoza, these tamales had been folded carefully over a mix of fresh, crisp vegetables whose scent floated around each in a rich aura. They were hot out of the steamer, a cloud of gaseous water encircling the air above it in a decadent plume. If I hadn’t known better, with the combined mass of the tamales and the sheer volume of steam they collectively released, it might have made me believe the cart itself to be on fire. But of course, there was no such thing, and the cloud that spread into the sky only served to sweeten the air.
As I rolled out the cart, I looked at one last addition to the ensemble. There in a large bowl was something that Kenta hadn’t mentioned in the slightest when explaining the recipe and reasonings behind the tamales, and I had been so urgent to get these out the door that I’d forgotten to press for more details. It had been left in the refrigerator since the day before, which I had only noticed when doing inventory after the fiasco of event preparations.
‘It completely slipped my mind until now… I’m glad I didn’t forget it. Especially after what that note said.’
When I had found the bowl, a small piece of paper had been taped to it. On which, an alien text had been inscribed that required me to use my visual translator to make any sense of. It had been nothing but obvious that holding up the translator informed me that the language was indeed Terran. But what confused me was that instead of the morphemic script that I had come to slightly recognize from Kenta’s subculture, it instead appeared to be something more alphabetic.
On it, the note simply read: “Make sure to serve this with the tamales, my friend. Don’t forget!”
Additionally, below those words had appeared to be an additional message. That one, however, was partially scribbled out. When I scanned that one as well, the translator had taken a long time to process, and its output remained considerably fractured: “**od l*ck wit* y*u* n*w boyf***nd.”
Having not thought much of the note, I had just barely remembered to retrieve the bowl from the fridge and put it on the card while Kenta was off busy grabbing one last batch of tamales before rushing me out the door. I shook it out of my mind for the time being. After all, right now there were more pressing things to manage.
Wheeling the cart back outside, I was hit with the briefest shortage of breath. It had only been a momentary respite, but shifting from the quiet of the empty diner to the lively atmosphere of a crowded party would never not be a shock. By now, enough people had shown up that the event could already be considered at max capacity. People from all over filled the street, chatting and conversing in a rambunctious, lively gusto.
To see so many people take the time out of their schedules and come down to my family’s diner just because of the promise of our food… It was almost overwhelming, enough to bring a brief tear to the eye reminiscent of my reaction to that very first wave of people Ginro had brought soon after I first hired Kenta. I took a moment just to bask in it. A feeling I had all but begun to grow almost too accustomed to. A feeling of success, and of pride. And as I once again continued pushing the cart past the crowds of chatty party attendees, along with the piles of wool that it entailed, that feeling continued to pour into me. It was all almost too much to hear at once.
“Hey Sylvan! Great party!” said one voice to my left.
“Amazing food as always, Lackadaisy guy! I can’t get enough of these little strayu things in the salad!” piped another to my right.
“Ooooo! What are those things?” asked one more as I passed by them, who excitedly eyed up the stack of tamales I was delivering.
I laughed along and chatted with people on my way to one of the tables, chuckling at their jokes and accepting their praise on behalf of both myself and the mysterious ‘Kahnta.’ With each pleased guest and hungry gaze, I couldn’t help but feel myself bloom in sheer joy at the tidal wave of enthusiastic complements.
That was… until one otherwise innocent comment sounded from behind me.
“So you’re telling me this was all made by one chef?” they asked one of their friends, not intending me to hear as they talked with their mouth half stuffed with food. Looking closer, I could see that they were two Gojids chatting with one another. “Better enjoy it now, I guess. Not gonna be long before some fancy place in the Capital comes and recruits them. Honestly, if the owner of this place wants to have any hope of holding on to them, he better marry them or something.”
The partygoer’s friend laughed, “Well if he doesn’t, then I will! Can you imagine eating something like this every day?”
I couldn’t help but bloom even more overhearing this. But this was a different kind of feeling. Not the gentle warmth of normal delight, but instead the torrid heat of surging emotions. And as I began nonchalantly transferring the steaming tamales to one of the tables, these emotions steamed to the surface of my mind as well.
It was a mix of things that fueled my silent reaction. At first, the implication of asking Kenta into matehood was… well it was certainly something. I was sure the two Gojids were simply making innocent remarks, assuming that the lie about my precious chef being another, completely ordinary Venlil was correct, not realizing in the slightest just how much the implication left me flummoxed. And in normal circumstances, it would have been just that, a simple perk of the ears and a brief daydream of something so far away from me. But after yesterday, things had changed.
The previous day had been eventful, to say the least. I had eaten some amazing pastries and listened to an even more amazing alien melody. Only for it all to come crashing down when my idiotic brain forgot to turn back on the translator before pouring out my entire menagerie of pent up emotions before Kenta. My one chance to seize an opportunity at the height of a courageous high, only to tumble and fall flat during the execution. Even worse, I couldn’t muster the bravery to say the same thing even one more time.
I had completely blown it. And needless to say, I wasn’t exactly keen on remembering my mistakes from that previous day, especially during such a pivotal event. The only mediocre condolence I could take from the whole ordeal being the opportunity of waking up next to Kenta that same day. But even that was cut much too short by the mad rush to get preparation ready for the event.
‘I can still remember how warm he felt… And how peaceful he looked when his eyes were closed…’ I thought to myself in deep reminiscence.
“Hey there Sylvan!”
‘I can’t get it out of my head…! Ugh! I wish it wasn’t just a one time thing…’
“Sylvan?”
‘If we really were together romantically, then maybe I could see that every day… But that’s not–’
“Sylvan!!”
The moment my attention was pulled away from my internal thoughts, I audibly bleated out a high pitched noise of surprise, “Eeep!”
My ears jutted up and my tail straightened like a steel beam. My attention shifted over to my side, where I soon realized Fehnel now stood. She had her paws held firmly on her hips, with a head tilted to the side in a half puzzled, half amused demeanor. Then, when I realized I had been staring a little too long without saying anything, I quickly turned my attention back to the table.
“Oh hey Fehnel!” I stuttered out. “Didn’t see you there!”
“Sorry if I sneaked up on ya, hun,” Fehnel replied with a single wag of the tail. “Got somethin’ on the mind, I’m assumin’?”
The image of Kenta and I huddled together on my couch flashed through my mind once more, before I quickly shook it away. “Uhhhh… Nope! I’m just really focussing here on getting these tamales out.”
“‘Tamales,’ huh?” Fehnel chuckled. “Well between this and that ‘gee-yo-za’ stuff, I think I’m startin’ to give up on predictin’ what crazy name Kahnta’ll come up with next.”
“Yeah it’s pretty… uh–” I coughed awkwardly, clearing something nonexistent out of my throat. “It’s pretty creative.”
“You can say that again. By this point, they’re startin’ to sound almost alien!” Fehnel laughed again, and I cringed as the irony fell over deaf ears. “But hey, who am I to judge! I mean, to me all the stuff on this planet is alien, so what’s another ‘Tamale’ added to the pile, yeah?”
I had to stop my ears and head from shrinking too far towards the ground.
“Anyways, I’m assumin’ these are the actual foods I requested Kahnta to create, right?” Fehnel continued to ask.
“Uh– Y-yeah, yes they ar–” I tried to say before one of Fehnel’s paws suddenly reached out and grabbed my wrist.
“Great!” she beamed, before dragging me away into one of the many chatty piles of fluffy wool that constituted our event.
It didn’t take more than a few rushed steps before I was suddenly pulled in front of another Yotul and Venlil, who I did well to recognize immediately. It seemed as though Kadew and Vuilen had arrived, the former of which looking just about as nervous as I had expected. Vuilen, on the other paw, was anything but. Her tail was wagging furiously, almost impossibly giddy with enthusiasm as her ears shifted around a swivel, likely allowing every new smell and sound to pull her attention to and fro.
Fehnel dragged me forward and plopped me down right in front of the two, before saying, “Tell them what you just told me.”
Vuilen leaned forward, bestowing me her full attention, while Kadew remained stationary, only doing as much as to straighten a single, skeptical ear.
“W-well, uh…” I stumbled, before quickly getting my act together. “Among a number of new strayu recipes, the main entree for today’s event is called ‘Tamales.’”
“Oooo!” Vuilen beamed. “What’s that, Lackadaisy guy? It sounds awesome!”
“According to Kahnta, it’s a mix of vegetables folded in a spongy strayu wrap and steamed inside a starchy husk. And…” I tilted my ears towards Kadew, “It’s supposedly a specialty that is designed to be eaten during times of celebration with family. Regardless of whether they be by blood, or found.”
Kadew huffed a short breath, before folding her arms. But before she got the chance to speak, Vuilen’s enthused voice overtook it. The black and white wooled Venlil leaned into her smaller Yotul partner and pulled them into a strong hug.
“Hear that, Dew? It’s like this food was MADE for your Running Day!” Vuilen piped, bouncing up and down like a cub and bringing the now deeply blooming Kadew along for the ride. “Well… I guess it literally was, but you know what I mean! Either way, there’s like a million new kinds of strayu foods here! Can you believe that? I think I even saw some sylvanas over on that table there! Can you even begin to wonder what they taste like? Oh my Sol, I’m so excited!”
Kadew, whose previously unimpressed countenance now had more steam coming out of her ears than the tamales off in the distance, stuttered out her response. “Uh– Uhmm– That’s… that’s great…”
“I know right!” Vuilen squealed. “This is going to be the BEST Running Day ever! I’m so happy for you!”
I couldn’t help but giggle out in response to this, something which Fehnel had long since been doing on her own volition. Unfortunately for Kadew, this did nothing to ease the sheer amount of embarrassment already flying around her dazed face.
“Of course, all guests are free to eat their fill, especially those invited by the Claw’s Lady herself,” I said, before gesturing a paw towards Fehnel. “All of it has been covered in advance by our generous sponsor.”
Vuilen retreated from her hug just as quickly as it had started, twisting her attention back towards Fehnel and I. “Really? I still can’t believe you’re just giving away all this for free!”
She walked towards the two of us, leaving a still dazed Kadew behind her, before rushing to give Fehnel herself another brief hug. “Thank you so much again for organizing something like this, ma’am.”
Fehnel returned the embrace, having nothing but pure pride and joy radiate through her voice. “Of course, hun. I hope you and my daughter enjoy your date.”
“Oh we will!” Vuilen replied quickly, pulling back once again. Just as fast, she began making a beeline for the buffet tables, almost disappearing into the crowd of fellow Venlil fluff before her voice was heard once more. “I’ll be back in a jiffy, Dew! I just gotta try some of this stuff before it’s all gone!”
Before she was out of range, I twisted around, raised a paw up to my mouth, and stood up high to help carry my voice after her. “Don’t forget to save room for dessert!”
Turning back, I joined Fehnel once again in her chuckling. It didn’t take long for Fehnel to comment on the situation now that Vuilen was out of earshot.
She leaned over and gently nudged me in the leg with her tail. “She’s a riot, ain’t she? Does my daughter know how to pick em’, or what?”
“Oh yeah, I’ve seen them together in the diner all the time. Honestly, I’ve been wondering how long it was going to take to knit that scarf,” I commented, referencing one of the more common and romantic Venlil courtship rituals.
“Guys I can HEAR YOU!” Kadew yelped, now seemingly freed of her hug-induced daze.
“Oh hun don’t you worry yourself about us,” Fehnel replied, a slight hum to her voice. “Us adults can’t help but watch the young love bloom.”
“That guy’s barely older than I am!” Kadew shot back, raising a finger to point at me.
I raised two paws in defence, much too similar to the way Kenta does when he’s been caught teasing me. “Hey, doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate it when I see it. You’re doing great, by the way.”
The teasing, however, had been lost on her. I had meant it in good will, but my words had only served to aggravate Kadew, and she huffed out an annoyed breath. Then, she started stomping rapidly in place, her trained legs moving in a blur like overclocked turbines. From even the briefest glance, I could tell that something had been pulling away at her tail, and our comments were doing it no favours.
“Uhh… are you alright?” I asked tentatively.
“ARGH!” she groaned back. “No! No, I am very much NOT alright! Running Day’s here already, I feel like a pile of speh, my fur’s a mess, and I’m FREAKING THE BRAHK OUT!!”
‘Quite the vocabulary on this one, apparently,’ I judged silently, wondering how my mother would have reacted to hearing me talk like that.
“Honey, Vuilen’s not gonna care about any of that silly stuff,” Fehnel said jovially. “Why, I remember bein’ covered in dried mud the first time I went on a date with your father. We went down to the creek together and took turns tossing water at each other. Then, we went down to the local actin’ house and watched a show. But even after all of that, I still had a bit of dried mud crusted on my fur, but your father didn’t mind. Said it gave me ‘character,’ of all the silly things.”
“Isn’t dried mud just dirt?” I asked.
“Naw, see, dirt is sand, silt, and clay, but it only becomes mud when it has a higher content of clay.”
“So then what happens when dirt gets wet but doesn’t have a lot of clay?”
“Wet dirt.”
“Ah.”
“WHAT ARE YOU BRAHKING TALKING ABOUT!?” Kadew squealed in a panic, her stomping had not ceased in the slightest. She threw her paws up and pulled her ears down over her eyes. “Dirt and mud! That’s all that we Yotul talk about apparently! And trains! Can’t forget the brahking trains! Stars above, that’s all people ever say!”
“Trains are cool,” I said indifferently.
“I don’t care!” she huffed, before turning to Fehnel. “Mom. What if Vuilen comes back and sees you talking about dirt? She’ll just see that it’s the only thing a primitive uplift is capable of understanding! Do you really want to prove her right?”
Fehnel looked shocked, but replied nonetheless. “Has… she said something like that before?”
“Well…! No…! But…” Kadew stomped again. “She might, okay!? Especially if she sees you actively talking about it!”
“To be fair, I asked,” I replied. “Besides, Vuilen seems like a smart girl. She wouldn’t make a rash assumption about the Yotul based off some random remark. Relationships are stronger than that. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“What do you know about it!?” Kadew shot back, releasing her ears and letting them perk up to max height. “Unless I missed something, I don’t see you dating any other Venlil in that restaurant of yours! How do you know if any of this is fine!?”
Fehnel’s voice soured immediately. “Kadew! That is no way to talk to our new business partner! He was just tryin’ to help! Apologize this instant!”
Realizing something had shifted without my notice, I tried to mellow my voice in an attempt to calm the situation down. “Oh, that won’t be necessar–”
“No,” Fehnel interrupted. “I refuse to let my daughter be rude to anyone. We might not have much, but we at least have manners.” She turned her attention back to her daughter. “Kadew, if you have a problem, then I want you to tell me about it. If there’s somethin’ we can do to help, then–”
“No no, it’s not…” Kadew replied, bringing two fingers up to pinch the bridge of her snout. “It’s not that…”
“It’s not what?” Fehnel tried to guess. “It’s with Vuilen, isn’t it? You’re afraid she’ll not be able to appreciate the Runnin’ Day? Listen, I know this isn’t Leirn, but Sylvan and I are kickin’ our hardest to make it special for you regardless. Sure, it’s not the most traditional, but I’m sure Vuilen won’t mind! I understand that livin’ on a new planet is taxin’, the gravity here especially, but as foreigners it’s our job to show these nice people where we come from. We’re Yotul, and nothin’ will change that!”
“Mom…” Kadew grunted back, before taking a deep breath.
Before she could speak, Fehnel continued with a proud wag to her tail. “Do you remember what a Runnin’ Day is all about, Kadew? It’s about all the cubs that came of age that year comin’ together and sayin’ that they’ll be fine by themselves. But it’s also about family. It’s about knowin’ that no matter where you run off to, I’ll be there to support you. But you’re makin’ it real hard to do that every time you don’t tell me what the matter is! And if you don’t, how can I make this Runnin’ Day the best it can–”
“But it’s not a Running Day, is it!” Kadew yelled, instantly shutting Fehnel up.
Her mother stared forward blankly, stumbling over a few unclear words. “Wh-what do you…”
“It’s not a Running Day!” Kadew repeated. “It’s not! I mean look around you!” She lifted her arms up dramatically, motioning towards the crowds of unaware Venlil around us. “We’re the only Yotul here! We’re the only two people that even know what a Running Day is, and I’m pretty sure we’re the only people that care!”
I tried to speak, “Umm… I know what a Running Day i–” but the look of animosity Kadew immediately shot my way gave me Jeela flashbacks, and I shut up just as quick.
“Kadew… Hun, that’s not true,” Fehnel tried to defend. “I’m sure they’d be willing to open their minds if we just–”
“What? Tell them all about how great it is to come from an Uplift planet? Talk about brahking DIRT some more!? Careful there Mom, don’t want to spoil their meal!” Kadew continued her berating. “Because you and I both know that the only reason anyone even showed up to this thing is because of that guy’s food!” Another finger was shot out in my direction. “Even you know there’s nothing special about your stupid Uplift culture! There’s nothing here even remotely related to the Yotul! It’s all just Venlil decorations and Venlil food, for our solely Venlil guests! And look!!” She pointed directly at the statue Jeela had placed as the centerpiece. “They have a statue of a Venlil as the center of everything! It’s the star attraction, not us! They couldn’t give a damn about me or Running Day or our culture or… or anything!”
Fehnel appeared to be on the verge of tears.
“And now I’ve got to find some kind of excuse for all this!” Kadew added. “It’s bad enough I had to drag Vuilen into pretending to care about the Yotul. But now the entire town is a part of it too! They’re laughing at us, Mom! Just like at school! Just like everywhere else I go! They’re laughing at us and you’re proud about it!”
From the verge of tears, Fehnel’s voice had croaked into a soft weep. A glimmering stream of water had begun to crawl down the ridge of her rust-coloured face.
“I hate being born a Yotul! I hate this gross, rusty fur! I hate everyone thinking I’m primitive and that I must be in love with trains and steam engines! And I hate you trying to push your culture on me! Cause guess what? I’ve never even seen Leirn! It’s NOT my home and you need to stop pretending it is!”
Fehnel stood simply aghast, the occasional choked-up garble of sounds emerging from her throat. Meanwhile, I stood speechless as well. Obviously, I had accidentally walked in on and been exposed to something that had been going on for quite a while. But even worse, it seems as though I had done nothing but fanned the flame of this long-fueled fire. Instinctively, I began taking a few steps back to give the two their space, which went unnoticed by either party.
Fehnel swallowed, her eyes still welling tears. “I… I…” she tried to say, but no words would form. Instead, she choked on her own voice. And Kadew, who stood waiting for a response, sucked in heavy loads of air in the fleeting hope to catch her breath.
But instead of an answer, all that any of us heard was a scream.
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-First- -Previous- -Next (on Patreon)-

Hi,
I joined this group recently because it was suggested to me by one reditter. I am one of 6 kids so naturally my parents wouldn't have developed deep relationship with any of us.
Nevertheless, when I got pregnant with my first, I had hyperemesis gravidarium and it was very hard. I realized my mom never asked me about how am I doing and when I asked her to come over to take care of myle in postpartum , she refused (I offered her to pay everything).
I live abroad (US) my family is in Europe so one would think they'd call me to see how is my pregnancy was going. Her refusal to help me when I was literally being hospitalized weekly due to dehydration (hyperemesis gravidarium= you vomit daily dor 9 months of pregnancy) made me do a test: I stopped calling her. Inhad suspicion that she doesn't give a damn about me but it was too painful to admit.
To my ultimate shock when I stopped calling it didn't prompt her to call me at all. 3 months went by and we haven't spoken. Then it hit me, I went through my all WhatsApp history of living in US for 8 years and the stats were:

1. No calls from my father ever / he had a lot of missed calls from me.
   
2. 5 out of 8 B'days forgotten by them.
   
3. 6 calls on average from my mother a year (always needing something) / many many calls from me
   
4. No proactive start of messages from my father and less than 15 altogether from my mother(most needing something).
   
5. In writing I invited them to US countless times, always made an excuse why not (I always offered to cover it all).
   

Then my daughter was born, they didn't come. I continued my test and never called them. To this day they don't call back.....ever. we have a family chat also with our siblings. There it is as usual, somehow they - share loving pictures with kids of my siblings, videos with them and they look like grandparents from a magazine.
I am no contact with them for over 2 years and they keep living happily with my other siblings, not giving a damn about me or my kids.
In the meantime, I paid their vacation 3 times (every time they refused to come to US) my husband and I use the money we had for them to get them vacation within EU. Paid US experimental medical treatment for my brother (because it's not available in EU yet) because he has a rare disease.
Also, I paid lawyer for my sister when she was getting a divorce and her ex managed to remove her from their joint bank accounts. Financed the startup capital for my brother.
Slowly but firmly I realized that it has always been me, who was saving and helping everyone......but no one ever cared for me. They still don't..... I feel I am estranged from the all except from my brother who is dead grateful for his treatment and calls me often.
I realized I was waiting for their love for over 30 years and it is never coming. I have been crying a lot last year. Hard truth to accept.

Hi guys I'm looking for any recommendations on any lawyers that could help on a medical neglect case. I honestly do think I have a good case but I have already asked around 4-5 offices here I'm EP and no one seems interested. One law office even said it could be difficult to go against the hospital because Texas tends to side with Healthcare professionals a lot.
Quick story if yall are interested.. A year ago this month I had my baby at a local hospital. I had a spontaneous birth, and I had everything planned out at this hospital. It was my first time there and this was my second baby. (Baby number 1 I had at providence) I had planned to get my epidural since I had it with my first and it was a blessing. Well fast forward to my anesthesiologist he needed poking me around 9 times and ended up poking my spinal fluid which caused a leak. Worst possible experience ever, almost blackout and I thought I had been paralyzed. Another anesthesiologist came in an did it first try. She then apologized for what happened and for on. A lot of other small things happened as well but that's the whole main thing. I opted out of a blood patch but then a week later I had to go in because my BP was high and I heard one of the nurses that I could of had a stroke.
Now up until today I have had a lot of back spasms and back popping. My back hurts a lot of the time. And it's not the usual back pain after epidural number 1 after baby number 1.
So if anyone knows of a potential attorney please let me know! I literally have one year left to file, if I want to sue this hospital.

This is a bit long.
I had moved into a new apartment with my little dog and cat, and always made sure to ask my downstairs neighbor if he ever heard her and he said he never heard anything from my unit ever. He moved out after about 4 months, and a Karen moved in. At the time I was (27/28F) who had over ten years of experience with toxic neighbors and roommates.
Two months after she moved in my dog was killed by a pit bull as i wrestled to get its jaws open. i still have scars on my fingers from where the pit bull's fangs dug into me as i was prying. (And no i was in so much trauma that I could not bear the idea of killing someone else's puppy when I knew that was a pitbull puppy, that was not receiving proper training and he thought killing my dog was playing with a toy. i later found out someone else called and got animal services to arrive, and the owner had skipped out on the unit disappearing legally and situationally to avoid criminal charges.) I need emotional support dogs because of a very traumatic life, and part of that trauma will be relayed in another story. I waited 6 months for a new puppy to be born after searching carefully for breeders i agreed with and the temperament and sensitivity of their parent dogs. I have owned 3 dogs of the same breed (Larger yorkshire terrier who are sensitive to mood swings, seizures and other medical conditions more than a lot of big dogs 'supposedly' do. I do not tolerate a nitpicky dog they are fully desensitized by me in preparation for my future children ) before this and it was my first time experiencing the next problem.
My downstairs Karen had been friendly with me and chatted a lot but I could tell she was one of those 'no-nonsense' people and she even tried to give me rules like "No noise above me after 6pm" when I work early in the morning and wouldn't be home till after 7 which meant i was not allowed to VACCUME my own home except on my 1 day per month off of work. Usually those one days off were because i was sick from exhaustion and they were recovery days, not cleaning ones.
When she started complaining every single day about how her water was not 'hot enough' and she demanded she should have entitlement to piping hot water I realized she really was a Karen kind of woman. I let her know I had adopted a new puppy and that I was going to do extensive training to make sure it was a good little neighbor but asked her to bear with me. By the time the Karen moved out she had been under me for 2 years. and I got my new puppy around halfway through that.
At first she would lie to me and tell me she 'could never hear my dog' at all. I knew my dog barked in separation anxiety from her personality for the first 30-45 minutes after I left for work around 10 am, and otherwise stopped. 6 months before the Karen moved out, my dog was barking constantly because the Karen would sit on her patio below mine and talk so loudly it was as if she were talking in the middle of my house! I started getting text messages constantly about how my dog would not stop barking and when her friend had a baby over my dog barked so much it traumatized the baby. I told her repeatedly "Do not talk to my dog o r it makes her bark more." I told her repeatedly how LOUDLY she talked on the patio at 6-8 in the morning when I worked a day and a night shift and she was waking ME up. She would then claim I was imagining things as she worked night shift and couldnt POSSIBLY be awake that early. I the discord messages to my friends complaining about her to confirm I was not crazy but never showed her. She then tried to claim that my dog was disturbing all the neighbors and barked all day long. At this point, i had realized she was a very entitled Karen, and thanks to my late hours I found out her 'early morning' or 'nightshifts' were total lies. The hours she would need to be home to impose the '6pm curfew of noise' was ridiculous as she was coming home closer to 10pm. When she switched her tune of saying she needed silence in the morning, is when she was waking ME up at 6 in the morning.
At this point, I put up those cameras that are free and use your internet to monitor whatever to your phone. I could confirm that my dog would bark for the 45 minutes at most and then the only time she barked was maybe 4 or 5 times if someone was making strange loud noises below her. This meant someone pulling a cart or suitcase-type bag clicking across the sidewalk and she would bark until she couldn't hear it anymore so maybe a minute at most. She had been fully trained with sonic noise makers, dog whistles, training, and even that 'open door at odd intervals ' tricks. I refuse to use electric shock on my little girl or drugs when she is just fine for most of the day with her kitty brother. This is when the Karen's lies got worse!
Thats when the construction started. Every day for a week, that Karen was blowing up my phone saying my tiny dog was howling and screaming at all times. She even got the complex ownership to threaten me and tell me to control my dog with training or the complex would either evict me or forcibly remove my dog. This is illegal to do in my state as she is medically signed off on an Emotional support dog. I showed the office proof that my dog did NOT bark every single day and even witness reports that I had been so stressed I had actually been taking my dog to work as a caregiver, and she was making my client really happy, every other day. Further disproving the Karens claims. Over two weeks I discovered that the noises that DID make my dog bark were from the intense roof renovations that were going on, and the extensive painting and landscaping efforts that made it sound like people were trying to break down our walls. I fully understood why my poor girl was freaking! It even scared me so badly that the first time I heard them on the roof i ran to the office with the sound recording and they explained the rooftops were being re-tarred.
The Karen would not give up and the last time she texted me it was something like how "You need to control your dog. I cannot tollerate her barking at all times of the day and night! I will report you to the office and have the other neighbors sign a petition to get you eveicted if you do not put her in doggie daycare or get rid of her!" I replied with "Sure. You pay for the Doggie Daycare which is about $75 per day and then she will be quiet. Also I know for a fact you exaggerate and lie. My dog is wiht me half the times you claim she is barking and I know you are friends with your next-door neighbor whos dog barks worse and louder than mine out on his porch. Do not contact me again or speak to me in passing. If you do i will take this to more legal action" and I blocked her. A week later the office again tried to say they were getting complaints but admitted it was just one neighbor. I had made friends with the office worker and they loved my little dog. I even proved to them she was only making a small amount of noise the days she was left home. The stress this neighbor caused me with my new dog, who was supposed to reduce my clinical depression and anxiety went through the roof. If it weren't for my client letting me bring my dog for him to play with I dont think I would have been able to stay sane.
4 months before Karen moved out she tried one last trick to force me to deal with my dog 'her way' by submitting a proposal to the metro city district that i live in where they order me to cease and desist my dogs noise and that i was 'not compliant' with the required law ordinates. I could tell from the writing she had exaggerated the time, frequency, and duration of my dog's barking, much of which my cameras which were set to noise-sensitive, identified as two separate neighbors' dogs barking, not mine. My latest dog has a VERY unique bark with a pitch that is undeniably hers and is the first dog I ever had with barking or separation issues so i could easily tell the others were a medium and large barking dog. I laughed at the letter which said to further enforce the complaint they would require a petition of all my immediate neighbors, all of which said they couldn't hear my dog in comparison to the other barkers, and would not likely give their signatures to Karen. I decided if she ever did try anything else I would report to the office that she had a breech of contract 3 cats in her house two of which were identical and were grounds for immediate eviction, but I waited to see if she would cross me one last time. I laughed off the city mandate letter and tossed the letter out after the Karen moved away and never faced any repercussions but she gave me so many dirty looks. I started living in my home MY way after the text message that i had sent about 2 weeks prior to getting the notice, and had been vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, and doing any other cleaning i needed and wanted to do, ignoring her 'noise hour' demands. I good-naturedly would not do anything after 9pm as I consider that normal for neighbors who do not have children in a building that is mostly cement blocks per unit.
I am VERY happy to report that the neighbor who replaced the Karen actually LOVES that my dog barks when i go, and whenever someone is passing the area to the stairs of our shared entry. She has some paranoia of ghosts and when they lived on the 2nd floor she kept hearing footsteps on the roof at night. She says hearing my dog bark at normal loud things a dog should bark at helps her feel safe and comfortable because my dog tells her if shes hearing things or actually has someone being too close for comfort in our entryway and outside our mutual porches. The best part is we did a noise test! She couldn't hear my vacuum, my carpet shampooer, my blender OR my TV even when it was at a volume that was painful for MY ears! That Karen was such a dirty liar!!!
I was not overly concerned about Karen's attempts after her first failure, it was mostly just a source of stress because of how often she bombarded me or the wonder if another fake allegation against me would appear. I learned a lot in my teenage years and childhood about what is legally allowed and that was unfortunately given a crash course the year before I found this little paradise complex. I also use legal rights knowledge as a caregiver to help my clients stay safe from abusive sources or ones that would extort them. I know how and when to react and to ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS have proof to back up my end.

Hey this will be a long one, I have had a year of constant debilitating nausea, retching, acid reflux, severe weight loss, diarrhoea and constipation
I will go into more detail of the symptoms after this explanation.
This all came on when I did a few night shifts, I assumed it was me messing up my sleep so went back to day shifts but the problems hung around, it's still here over a year later.
I was in the UK when it started and was tested by my GP for a full blood count, chrons, colitis, celiac, ibd. They then put me on a year long wait to see a gastro specialist and stuck me on cyclizine.
In the meantime they were sure it was GERD and tried me on many different medications for it. I tried Lansoprasole, Omeprazole, Famotidine, Gaviscon, Nizatidine. All with the same results (no change for around 5 days followed by horrendous stomach cramps to the point where I can't stand up straight or walk. That symptom always went away around 2 days after stopping each h2 or PPI.
So I took the initiative to go back to Australia (my home country) to see a specialist here as the wait was around a week, they ran more bloods, breath and stool samples and ruled out helibactor, parasites, all hormone levels are perfect, all vitamins and nutrients are perfect, liver, kidneys all good.
The specialist said I could have a backed up colon after an x-ray and put me 2 bowel preps, coloxyl with senna, magnesium and prucalopride. After a few weeks of pooing water nothing changed.
He then took me for a gastroscopy where he found my throat was slightly eroded, and where my stomach connects to my intestines is dilated slightly. He has given up at this point and has prescribed me Mirtazapine as he thinks it will help. I think this is a band-aid solution and want to know what is actually wrong. Im not in a position to take it for a few reasons anyway.
Figures for reference: 23 Year Old White Male Croatian, Kiwi, English background, born in Sydney Was 85kg before all these issues, now 65kg 185cm tall Ex Smoker (on and off for years) Do not drink alcohol Was vegan for 3 years, went pescatarian 6 months ago, didn't help the symptoms Was a firefighter before all this in very good shape 10% bodyfat
List of symptoms:
Nausea
Dry Mouth & Sore Throat
GERD-style symptoms (heartburn & tasting stomach acid)
Chest Pain
Tingly sensation in fingers and feet
Stomach Pain
Headaches
IBS-style symptoms (constipation & diarrhoea)
Thinning Hair
Weight Loss
Fatigue
IN DEPTH BELOW:
Nausea:
Debilitating nausea affects me every single day, I can feel a slight betterment to this symptom in the morning maybe for an hour or so and then it becomes worse throughout the day. For most nights I have been taking cyclizine to be able to try and get some hours of sleep, sleeping upright and waking up every few hours.
Dry Mouth & Sore Throat:
I wake up with both symptoms, and I've always and still drink 3L of water each day. It doesn't matter how much I drink I am constantly with a sore throat and dry mouth.
GERD Style Symptoms include heartburn and tastes of stomach acid.
I experience these alongside the nausea, I get heartburn and have to eat in small amounts. I am not hitting my calorie goals throughout the day, I think I am very malnourished and I constantly feel the need to burp but I can't. I also feel the acid come up my throat into my mouth - this happens with the burp too, if I am able to.
Chest Pain:
The chest pain feels like someone sitting on my chest, imagine your dog or child sitting on your chest, that's how I feel most points of the day. I feel short of breath and am almost trying to breathe more because I feel my lung capacity is reduced.
Tingling Sensations:
This doesn't happen every day but probably 3-4 times a week. It lasts for 30-minute bursts and comes along especially when the nausea is bad. It feels like "pins and needles" and comes along with shooting pains from my fingers up my arm. I also experience this in my feet and it goes into my shins.
Stomach Pain:
The stomach pain is in the top right corner, under my rib and it is a dull, intense pain that can last hours. I also get stomach pain in the lower left of my stomach which feels like a generic stomach ache that lasts for an hour or so at a time - this is random and does not correlate with exercise or food.
Headaches:
I have headaches on the left and right temple of my head and it feels like someone is pressing their thumb into my temple. Sometimes, this can feel like my head is being pushed forward from the highest point of the skull at the back of my head. These also travel into my eyebrow/eye area.
Constipation and Diarrhoea:
This is random, with no distinct cause or correlation. Sometimes it is constipation and diarrhoea in the same toilet run. This is ongoing throughout the night too, waking me up and not allowing me to sleep. The left lower side pain I feel (the stomach ache) also accompanies these symptoms. I have to constantly be near a toilet in case of this.
Thinning Hair:
I'm not sure if this is a coincidence but during this time period I have noticed more hair falling out and thinning hair.
Long Healing Times:
I've noticed bruises, cuts or anything else I seem to take a long time to recover whereas, I never used to bruise easily and if I had a cut it'd heal quickly.
Weight Loss:
I assume this is because I've not been able to keep any nutrients or energy in my system but I've lost about 20kg
Fatigue:
I wake up tired, I'm sleeping longer than I have before and wake up exhausted. I am tired throughout the day.
Anything anyone can suggest would be incredible. Or if anyone knows a good Gastro specialist, naturopath, whatever in the Sydney area that is keen to help, bulk billed or private I don't care I just don't want to keep suffering.
Cyclizine helps about 40% in the fact that it stops me gagging and retching but the nausea never goes. Ondansetron doesn't help and makes me feel out of it. Metoclopramide did nothing too with weird sides.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Capital-Scheme-8294 posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Long
Original - 23rd May 2024
Update - 24th May 2024
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AITAH for wanting to divorce my post partum wife?
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It's stupid to think I'm at this point but here I am. My stbx wife (28F) and I (29M) have wanted kids for years and we're thrilled when she finally got pregnant last year. From day one I wanted to be the most supportive husband and future father I could. Her father was never involved in her life. I used to work as a tech in labor and delivery, and my brother to put it kindly is not the most involved father. I saw too many problems up close when it came to lacking husband's, and I would be damned before I made the same mistakes
The problem is roughly 4 weeks into her pregnancy everything started going downhill
She stopped wanting sex. Fair enough. Hormones and stress make that a problem I went full stop. But then she didn't want any physical interaction. No cuddling, no kissing, slowly becoming more and more distant
-Her eating constantly changed and she was terrible about it. She would demand I get her something all day then the moment I give it to her she wants something else, screaming at me. OK, again, hormonal issues I get it no problem
she never let me to go any appointments, no groups she went to, spent more time away
-became cold and bitter. Constantly angry at me. This went on for months
-slapped me a couple times when I forgot one of her dozens of tasks she assigned me during the day. Stopped doing anything for the house a month into the pregnancy. Sure, she's pregnant, I get it moving around is hard, but she wouldn't even do laundry about 4 weeks in and by 5 weeks I did everything. I'm also the primary source of income. I barely sleep. im running on fumes.
-made me sleep in the guest room. Would always try and pick fights. I never once raised my voice, my hand, or my tone. I sat there and constantly mentally reminded myself this isn't her and this would all be worth it
-she didn't want me to make any baby decisions. No name, no work on the nursery, nothing
One month before she delivered, she yelled how fucking useless I am and how I don't do anything and that she's staying with her mother. She didn't let me get her anything, come check on her, threatened to divorce me and get a restraining order if I even called her
A couple weeks back, I found out about the birth of my son from a Facebook post. She posted it with her mother and some family. It fucking broke me. I tried to go to the hospital and visit. They had security kick me out.
After months of outright hatred, anger and abuse thrown at me 24/7, I fucking had it. Odds are im not even on the birth certificate. I opened a new account and all my deposits go there. I took half out of our joint account. She never bought baby stuff ahead of time, who knows what that money was going towards, so now that she has to buy supplies for our son she's used up every cent
I've gotten a lawyer. The house is mine, I'm the only one who spent money on it in any way. I've sent the rest of her stuff to her mother's house. I'm demanding a paternity test. Im not spending another damn cent until I get verification it's my son. Im absolutely divorcing her. She chose the stay at home life, if she cheated she's screwed. Her mother has money for a couple week stay, not even close to enough for full time support. If he is my son, I will absolutely be getting my rights as a father for a relationship.
Last week, my stbx called. She was practically hyperventilating. She wanted to come home. She was crying how it was all a mistake. She's not staying with her mother. She's at a friend's house. She wants to come home. She wants our son to have his father. I told her I don't fucking believe he is my son. Why the fuck would she pull this shit if he is? Show me a paternity test, and I'll do everything I can for him, and him only.
She wants to meet tomorrow at a park so I can talk to her. I said sure, so I can finally say everything I should have said months ago to her face. My parents are hoping we can make up, but they absolutely understand if I won't. My brother is a deadbeat jackass so I don't care what he has to say, but my sister thinks I should at least hear her out
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Comments
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seidinove
NTA. Someone mentioned peripausal psychosis. She needs to talk to a doctor. But sheesh, if I found out that my baby was born on Facebook, I’d be absolutely flattened.
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HalcyonCA
She also physically abused him. This woman is not well. He's right to protect himself and divorce her.
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bleeepobloopo7766
Yes. If she is behaving like this to her husband, is she even a safe mother for the child?
OP you should document any and all you can about this. If it is your son you might need to protect him from mother who might be genuinely dangerous.
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SubstantialYouth9106
NTA! HECK NO! Do not meet her at the park tomorrow. If she wants to meet you then it can be at your lawyer's office with your representative present and a conversation recorded. If the child is yours after an immediate paternity test, make sure your name is on the certificate and that you file for equal custody and have an equal say in all decisions of the child’s life. I would even ask to communicate via a parenting app. Save all forms of communication from her via text and email so you have a paper trail. No phone calls. I am very sorry that you had to go through this and your experience becoming a father, if the child is yours, was ruined. You realize your worth and you do not want to be with a partner like this. Please protect yourself. I hope you have cameras around your property, a ring camera by the door, and that you claim she abandoned your space. Your parents need to be on your side and follow your lead. The relationship is not healthy anymore and now that a child is involved you should be putting the child first and not raising it in a potentially toxic environment.

OOP: As far as my parents, they love her and believe she had some mental break during the pregnancy. However, when they found out about the facebook post, my Dad was heartbroken and my mother was utterly livid. They want me to have a happy family, but they are also pissed at her on my behalf. They'll support whatever I decide

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Socialist_Poopaganda
Wait so they know but think it’s fine that she verbally and physically abused you?? I appreciate the thinking that it was a mental break but that doesn’t mean anyone should stay with an abuser. I hope you’re getting therapy and you have a good support system because this was awful to read.

OOP: I kinda fucked up and didn't tell them about the slapping and still haven't told them because I was still in that mindset that she was just going through a rough time. It was dumb and I will absolutely inform them ASAP
I'm admittedly not great at opening up to them too much because I have the mindset not to worry them and handle things on my own. But going forward if I'm trying to get a good support system I gotta dump it all on them

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**Judgement - NTA*\*
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Update - 1 day later
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I had to speed up the process of actually talking to her since the story spread quickly around on the internet, inevitably reaching someone involved with friends or family and now way more people i personally know are getting the details than I'm comfortable with
Oh well my bad lol
Before I ended up chatting with her, I opened up to my parents and sister about what was happening in detail. My parents were flustered at me hiding the more unsavory details to say the least and are probably going to be checking up on me daily for the rest of the year to make sure I'm ok. My sister would probably have to be held back from thrashing her, so I had to get a friend to help with the chat since my sister would not be able to contain herself
So basically, within hours of the story going into the digital stratosphere I called my wife back as quickly as I could to finally sit down and talk. We chose a local park this morning and I had a friend of mine record the conversation from beginning to end. I was basically ready to hear the generic affair story and get out of dodge
But of course it got complicated.
We met at a section with picnic tables and picked one as far away from other people to avoid them getting wrapped up in any awkwardness. She looked terrible. Haggard, stressed, and thankfully without the baby. She tried to have the big emotional chat and what not. I wasn't tearing up or acting like the hardened badass. I frankly was just wanting to figure out what this was all for
I didn't even get to ask the question before the floodgates spilled. I'm going to attempt to relay this story as best as I can because even looking back on the recording it's a mess, but also, it's because I don't 100% believe it, so fair warning, it could all be fake
This all started with her mother. As I said before my wife's father was absent. He sarted off well, having 2 sons with her mother before herm l. When her mother got pregnant with her, her father went from being the picture perfect guy he was at first and slowly changed into a negligent, abusive, unfaithful, and unsupportive jackass, ending with him disappearing when her mother was delivering. He's been in and out of prison since. No one knows why he did it. The impression her mother always gave was a strong resilient woman who withstood anything life threw at her and did anything for her kids. She has claimed to be in therapy for years. In reality, she has managed to conceal a deep hatred for men outside of her sons, but according to my wife there was favoritism towards her. My wife also found out she stopped therapy almost a decade ago but never told anyone.
Her mother seemed to always have some slight against me and now i know why. She was never hostile, but certainly wasn't warm to me, and hearing about her secret hatred, I kinda knew where this was going. Roughly about half a year before she got pregnant, my MIL slowly began sowing seeds of doubt and bitterness into my wife. Apparently she had a full mental break. She told her about me staying late at work possibly hiding an affair. Or that myself providing majority on the income setting her up for a hard divorce. Everything my MILs husband did to her, she convinced my wife I would do to her, and she pumped this poison into her for months. My wife always idolized her mother, and compounding that with anxiety she's suffered from for years, she dove in deep.
As soon as she got pregnant, like on the dot, she fell into a mental hole within days. And that's when her mother got hold of her again. Hearing about her pregnancy apparently triggered something fierce in my MIL and it spiraled from there. She had my wife fully convinced it was happening again
Every single thing my wife did to hurt me was at the behest of my MIL. Combined with pregnancy hormones, an undiagnosed mental illness she claims to have (no confirmation), and stress, she completely lost her mind. She 100% believed I would bail, so she was punishing me first, culminating in her moving in with her mother and leaving me out of the birth
While I was sending the papers and started the divorce proceedings, she kicked into full blown post partum depression. And when her mother finally got her, when she finally beat me, which I guess was her victory over her ex (did I mention she's fucking crazy), she had no more use of my wife. The family involved in the birth included my MILs sister and my wife's brothers. While my MIL and her sister knew what was going on, my BILs got fed the bs narrative my MIL spun. When my MIL was done with her plan, the entire facade came down and my BILs found out everything upon questioning my wife. They were horrified.
Needless to say, postpartum, facing a very grueling divorce on her side, no longer welcome in our home, and having done everything to alienate me from my son at the behest of a broken lunatic, reality hit her like a truck. She torched her entire life because her mother is a broken shell of a human who used her to enact her own sense of justice. The very mother who washed her hands of her after she got what she wanted
Or at least this is the story she gave me
Frankly, there are many holes in her story. The starting point of the pattern of abuse, the claims of who was involved in the delivery, me being absent from appointments, the friend (who she confirmed is female) she's staying with, and of course, my alleged sons paternity.
It seems way too fucking crazy to be made up. Who the hell would go to the effort to make this up facing what she's facing?
As soon as she finished, she said she's setting up a paternity test and gave me the info I need. Within luck it should be done in roughly a week or so once i do my part. She gave the most sincere apologies any human being has ever given. She's begged for another chance. I was frankly, to stunned to say anything, so she left and promised to call soon
I don't think I can give her another chance. I don't think I can ever risk anything like this again.
God I'm still hoping she's just being a cheating psycho and spinning a sympathy story to try and throw me off, because this got way too complicated
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Comments
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Bargle-Nawdle-Zouss
I am so sorry for your pain. Nobody deserves to go through Insanity like this.
I'm glad she's cooperating on the paternity test. However, no matter the results, you should go through with the divorce. You do not need this in your life. Given this incident, I would even pursue full custody of your child.
Get duplicate copies of the recording of this meeting. Make sure that they are easily transferable to your attorney for the divorce.
Best of luck, and of course NTA.
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Sweet-Fancy-Moses23

I don't think I can give her another chance. I don't think I can ever risk anything like this again

You are right.She subjected you to months of mental torture and agony despite you being supportive and understanding.Then she prevented you from being present during the birth of your child. I can’t imagine what OP went through when he found out the birth of his much anticipated child through a FB post. All this at the behest of an evil mother.Who says it won’t happen again ?
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SonOfSchrute
She’s full of shit

OOP: I hope so. I sat there practically slack jawed listening to this. It's too wild to be 100% honest, but too detailed to be completely fake

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mooglemethis
FWIW, I do think there's a kernel of truth in there, I absolutely believe your MIL manipulated her, but at the same time, most people can only be manipulated so far before they call bullshit and get fed up. The people that don't are usually the ones who want to believe the manipulation, who want the lies to be true.
She was willing to hit you and hurt you in unimaginable ways, based on nothing but 'maybes' and 'what ifs'.
And it's that part that scares me. I don't think that part of her can be suppressed with force of will alone.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

So this is my second abortion. I still cannot believe this is happening. I feel terrible doing this a second time, but also scared and frustrated. My spouse and I do not regularly have sex, maybe once a month at most. We use protection and he always pulls out, but apparently we are just extremely unlucky. The first time I was on medications (autoimmune disease) that cause severe birth defects if the pregnancy can even make it to full term (the medication can cause abortions). After my first abortion I gained a pretty significant amount of weight, and am concerned about that occurring again. Depression was also pretty bad after.
Last time abortion was fully legal where we live so we did go to a clinic. Now it is only legal up to six weeks. I am no longer on those meds but other health factors make an abortion neccessary at this point. I am not sure how far along I am, but the clinics are so backed up that we decided to order the meds online. I have had extreme anxiety since learning I was pregnant a week ago. The constant pregnancy nausea for the last 5 days, and cramping and other stomach problems have been miserable. My autoimmune disease has also started flaring since getting pregnant so there is a lot of pain as well. I just want this whole thing to be over with, but I am also terrified to go through it again.
Last time I had a follow up visit to ensure everything went as expected, and I was given a shot in the butt due to my blood type. I am not sure how to go about getting that follow up visit and if I need the shot again. Its just so frustrating how difficult and scary they have made it since the new laws have gone into effect. Since I am not sure how far along I am (guessing 4 or 5 weeks) we are also concerned they may not allow a surgical abortion if the pills do not work.
Just wanted to get this all out as my family is extremely religious so I have no one but my spouse to talk to. He has been extremely thoughtful and supportive, but he's just not going through it like I am.

I see a lot of responses here describing how they make immense strength gains relatively quickly, but I also see a lot of reports where people struggle to notice physical changes.
This has been the entire opposite of my experience. I recently worked through the 3rm fighter pull up, and started the 5rm program before accumulating a little too much pain, so I took a week off. I was doing 2x5 comfortably with 5 minutes rest in-between sets. Coming back after a week I was struggling to do 4, that's fine, I gave it another week. Now my "crappy" max is pretty much 5 again, and clean is 3, which is pretty much what it was 6 months ago...
Now that's some absolutely terrible strength gains for what that period of time, no doubts about that, but my physique continues to noticeable improve. I can see month to month differences, I've stopped trying to gain weight for a bit and just maintain at the moment but I definitely seem to be recomping without really trying (I'll dm pics if anyone is interested).
The obvious conclusion is something must be absolutely off about my programming but I do read this sub heavily, and while I might not count every specific macro, I hit my protein goals consistently and I am at a high enough bodyfat percentage that I should still be able to make strength gains. Usually I overshoot how much I eat rather than undershoot.
My specific stats are:
6"1, 190ish lbs. (bit lower)
eat about 130-150g protein a day
sleep usually 8 hours, when i sleep bad I always nap throughout the day.
rest 3-5 minutes between sets depending on the exercise.
I am following the recommended routine, albeit I am inconsistent on some exercises (legs, core lol).

Zombie like outbreaks but instead of a virus, it's an alien or mutated species of ant that turns its victims into a mobile nest having cleared out the body of all but the necessary organs and muscles and filled the interior of the carcass with sand and dirt and other nested building material. You're nothing left but muscle skin bone tendons a heart lung and brains completely dependent on the colony to keep you living as you travel from City to City infecting more people increasing the hives population
~~~~~~~~~ Scenario 1.
You see a withered looking husk shambling down the road and as they approach you begin to notice black dots crawling or trailing all over their body. Once they're close enough that you should be able to see details on their face you begin to realize that their bugs but as they get closer and the details get finer you begin to realize that they're not just bugs but that these bugs are crawling in and out of this person's mouth and nose and ears in trails and groups like an active ant hill.
You begin to stumble backwards and start to turn around but before you break your line of sight of them, their mouth drops as a black mass flows out of their mouth in a large swarm of ants pour out into the street and engulf you and you feel them working their way into every hole cutting and chewing and knowing away at you. Your innards, you're intestines, your kidneys and testicles and ovaries devoured or dragged out of your mouth and other orifices, dragged out of their new nest like unwanted drapes and carpeting until you too have been turned into a nest.
Just the sound of them crawling and scratching around inside of your skull and inside of your ears and behind your eyes.
Sometimes they pour out of your mouth to swarm it straight dog or cat, other times you find yourself going to vomit in a trash can only for the ants to come out instead and to drag into you anything they think of as food.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Scenario 2.
You have your dog outside at night when the pandemic first started, you're sound asleep until you hear your dog bark and Yelp but when you go outside, it's gone.
2 weeks pass by until you see your dog again; excited you are up to it and you immediately go to hug it but after a moment when the incitement has cleared away just enough, you begin to realize something is wrong.
Your dog reeks of death but that's not the worst of it; Tuffs of fur keep falling off of him every time you go to pet him order rub at him, there's no breath no panting not even the sides of his chest seem to be rising or lowering giving signs of breathing.
The dog just stands there staring at you with a blank expression but that's when you feel it, the crawling across the back of your hand end up and down your arm hair.
You pull your hand away to see it covered in ants as they March rapidly up your arm you go to brush them off but that's when you hear a low dry Dusty growl coming from your dog. You look at them only to see them jump at you and as they give you one massive lick across the face a swarm of ants come charging across like knights upon A drawbridge!
You scream and try to wipe them away as they burrow into your sockets and your dog lunges once more at you taking a large bite out of the side of your chest. The ants pour into the gaping wound and just as quickly begin to patch the hole making quick work on your insides as they construct their new home within you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Scenario 3.
Perhaps this random person has found themselves kept alive being farmed by these human ant colonies.
Humans are forced to farm food and reproduce while elderly population are used to feed the colony and people deemed unfit for labor or those who are deemed too dangerous to be kept alive are turned into new nests.
Of course they may also occasionally turn children or parents or your loved ones into nests as a form of punishment or just as a cruel way to remind you they are in charge.
There's no bright side to this movie and it just keeps getting worse.
Maybe the plot ends with this person inevitably being turned into a nest and finding to their horror that they are still conscious even after the prcoess has been completed.
The ants control everything in him yet they preserve his consciousness and if it's not just insanity, it seems as if their scratching in his ears is being done in a rhythmic manner to sound like Whispers tormenting and mocking him, narrating all the Terrible Things they are making him do to his loved ones as he eats his neighbor's kids to sustain The Colony or infects his son to keep his wife in line after she tried pleading with him.

The Xavi era is over. The 44 year-old manager, considered by many as the best Spanish player in history, will likely wake up one morning, look back at the past two and a half years, and think “What the hell just happened.”
His journey has been one of constant ups and downs. His appointment as manager fresh from a short managerial stint in Qatar, taking over for Koeman; the both weird and familiar space he found himself as his work started, surrounded by the warmth of the club of his childhood and his life, and at the same time feeling constantly scrutinized by local media, fans, and some of the board.
At the top of the list are the many repercussions he suffered from the actions of president Joan Laporta. He was forced to watch while in charge the saddest of goodbyes to Lionel Messi. Rumors of the board interfering with squad call-ups. The I love you - I love you nots of the past few months of the President, from getting choked up when he said Xavi was staying, to his final decision of firing him with a match to go in La Liga, to everything before and after.
Breaking news: Laporta doesn't seem to love anyone but himself. There is a saying in Spanish; “La confianza da asco.” Said in other words, those closest to you will treat you the worst. The neutral Spanish fan who grew up watching Xavi lift a World Cup and back-to-back Euros hopes that in the near future, and regardless of Xavi’s tactical shortcomings in comparison to Barcelona titans like Luis Enrique or Pep Guardiola, he will find peace, serenity, and room to do the work and succeed. Often, one can only find that away from home.
Whichever way Barcelona arrived here, the sacking of Xavi brings forth Hansi Flick. The German is the second foreign manager out of the past seven at Barcelona, and the first one in 22 years to have never either managed or played in Spain, since Louis van Gaal in 2003. Flick, aware of the interest for months, has been learning Spanish in an effort to bridge the inevitable gap he will feel upon his unveiling.
If only that were the only problem.
Laporta’s last bullet
The appointment of Hansi Flick by Joan Laporta ties both of them at the hip; for a lot of people watching, this is El President’s last chance to turn things around, especially as other areas of the club, fanbase and financials notoriously, are on a downward spiral.
The Nou Camp Nou is still in shambles, and the dream of playing at home by the end of 2025, no matter what news sources push out, is difficult. In turn, the experience at the Estadi Olimpic has proven to be both good and bad for the club; on one end, the audience watching matches at the temporary stadium are heavily, and more than ever, international fans hoping to see one more attraction, much like the Sagrada Familia Cathedral, or the beach.
On the other end, Barcelona has gotten away with it with a lukewarm season for that same reason. Losses to Paris Saint-Germain (1-4), Real Madrid (1-2), Girona (2-4) and Villarreal (3-5) at home would have set the Camp Nou on fire.
If we focus on the financials, things get worse. The club has partially sold assets out to execute what they called “levers” that would allow them to tackle last-minute payments, wage bills, and much needed transfers. The situation would be alleviated if the team performed, though. Barcelona was counting on getting close to the Champions League final to bring some much needed revenue in. That did not happen, with the club losing to an extra-inspired Dembele against Paris Saint Germain in the Quarterfinals, 6-4 in aggregate.
Barcelona also failed to qualify to the newly formatted FIFA Club World Club. Much lower-valued clubs like Benfica, Atletico Madrid, or Red Bull Salzburg will attend; but Barcelona did not make the cut–another 50 million Euros out of reach. In turn, financial leadership has attempted to distance itself from the wreckage, with moves like Financial Vice President Eduard Romeu, who left two months ago. He is still to be replaced.
As Laporta keeps the plates spinning, he turns to what seems to be the last chance he has to turn the wind in his favor, and in the end, the one thing true Barcelona fans care about most: what happens on the pitch. With the sacking of Xavi and the imminent appointment of Hansi Flick, the President could have placed the last nail on his coffin and opened the door for a successor.
It could also prove to be the best decision Barcelona has made since Guardiola.
Hansi Flick
Hansi Flick (1965, Heidelberg) spent the bulk of his playing career at Bayern Munich in the 80s. He averaged 20 matches per season, not standing out but nevertheless being part of the team that won four Bundesligas, first under Udo Lattek then under Jupp Heynckes in what was his first stint out of four for the veteran manager at the German club.
As a Bayern player, he visited Spain twice, both times playing against Real Madrid, and losing both times, in the Champions League final rounds.
Immediately after his retirement, he became manager of lower league FC Bammental, and later and more consistently, TSG Hoffenheim. He managed the club for close to 200 matches, attempting promotion to the German third tier several times, but failing and eventually being sacked on November 19, 2005.
Roughly a thousand miles away, Xavi and company visited the Barnabeu themselves, beating Los Blancos by 0-3 with a Ronaldinho brace, including that run from midfield to dribble half the team, beat Iker Casillas, and get a standing ovation from the rival stadium.The best of times were still to come for Barcelona: 18-year-old Messi was starting to feature.
After that reset, Flick decided to cool down and learn. What followed were stints as an assistant manager at Red Bull Salzburg serving Giovanni Trapattoni in one of the mighty Italian’s last adventures in 2006. He is only one of seven men to have won the UEFA Champions League as both a player, and a manager.
Most notoriously though, he was later the right hand of Joachim Löw in the German National team. The first strokes of Flick’s abilities as a manager started to shine as part of Löw’s team: aggressiveness in the offensive, physicality, aerial prowess. Set pieces. Largely in charge of the latter for the German side during the 2014 World Cup, Flick proved his worth when elegance-personified-in-football Toni Kroos whipped a cross from a free kick, and Mats Hummels headed past Hugo Lloris to beat France (1-0). Days later, Kroos would join Real Madrid from Bayern Munich.
Flick went on to become the Sporting Director of the national team after they lifted the World Cup, but the bench kept calling him in. By 2019 he was back at work, as assistant manager of Niko Kovac and his Bayern Munich. The Croatian was hoping to build on the Bundesliga title achieved last season, but first players, then fans turned their backs on him as results and performances, individual and at the team level, simply weren’t good enough. Eintracht Frankfurt beat the German giants 5-1, and Kovac was sacked.
That night in November, Hansi Flick took over as interim manager. Six months later, he would lift the Bundesliga, German Cup and the Champions League trophies. It would be only the second treble in Bayern history.
Flick left at the end of the next season, surrounded by rumors of his relationship with board and key Bayern ex-players, but as one of the most effective managers in Bayern’s recent memory.
Later on, Germany called, and Flick did not hesitate to say yes; a real chance at being in charge of the national team.
However, that stint did not go well. It did not help that, while in charge, Flick doubted himself.
The next 23 months involved an underwhelming third place at the UEFA Nations League, and three dismal performances at the World Cup, with a loss to Japan (1-2), a tie against Germany (1-1), and a late win to Costa Rica (4-2).
Even though he had plenty of Bayern ex-players at his disposal, Flick simply could not make things work with a team he could not communicate more than a few times a year, man management being one of his fortes. He tried to compensate, as humans often do, in other areas of his own influence. He changed formation over a half dozen times, shying away from his 4-2-3-1. He became aggressive in his communications with players.
The board eventually lost confidence in him.
His style of football though, aggressive, high-block and high-tempo, Flicki-Flacka as it was dubbed back in Munich, is the kind of philosophy Flick will be asked and hope to bring to Barcelona.
The question remains: will he be able to get past language barriers, cultural dissonance, a local media that will not hesitate to attack a foreign, non Barcelona-DNA manager the instant things are not working, and succeed against a well-oiled Real Madrid, likely with Kylian Mbappe in the ranks?
Just as importantly, will Laporta get out of Flick’s way–and his own way–and let the manager do his job?
Will there be enough resources to build a team that will be able to play to the German’s style?
Some of these questions can be asked by looking at the manager’s tactical style, and the players at his disposal.
Flicki-Flacka
When Flick sticks to what he does best, he proves to be lethal, like at Bayern Munich. His 4-2-3-1 system choked the opposition in his own box, took the ball by storm, and found quick and effective ways to create chances to score.
Ask Barcelona after Flick’s Bayern demolished the Catalans in 2020 (2-8). It was the Cules biggest loss in 70 years. Barcelona manager Quique Setien was sacked hours later. Pique, Messi and Suarez were vocal in the press about the need for change. Ronald Koeman, the manager who preceded Xavi at Barcelona, took over days later.
Regardless of whether Flick will be able to implement the same system in a country where low-block teams (those that wait in their third of the pitch, defending closely together and hoping for a counter) are more common than in Germany’s open style of football, some main concepts are expected.
High pressure, all the time. Flick is known for wanting to pin the opposition against its own goal, from the 1st to the 90th minute. He keeps rivals off-balance, and refuses to give them the ability to breathe, and build, from the back.
If the opposition does wriggle out of pressure, attacking players are expected to track back and keep pressuring the ball. During his first campaign at Bayern, it was common to watch as Thomas Müller stole the ball in the middle of the pitch. The team would then turn on a dime, and a full attack would follow; often with superiority in numbers against a defense struggling to track back. Leroy Sané, Lewandowski, or Müller himself would often have a chance to score only seconds later.
Possession is important, but chance creation trumps. Flick refuses to speculate with the ball. Think of it as the attacking antithesis of Garcia Pimienta’s Las Palmas: Flick’s teams charge up the field, use the flanks, and find through passes, and just as often crosses, to keep pushing and create chances to score. In the 19/20 season, Bayern scored 100 goals in the Bundesliga; 99 goals the season after. Bayern has not matched those numbers since.
It starts at the back. Away from some of the most dominating teams in Europe these days, with a midfielder stuck between the two central defenders in order to link up the play, Flick trusts that having two ball-playing defenders will negate the need for a midfielder so far down the pitch, giving them more opportunities to both be closer to and move faster towards goal.
This happened at Bayern as well, with Alaba and Boateng comfortable with the ball, which gave Kimmich and Goretzka freedom to be more involved on the attacking build up; Goretzka would push up higher down the field and join the attack, specially as an aerial threat, and Kimmich would stay slightly back and bring creative ways to restart the attack, send in a cross or a through pass, or take a shot.
Crosses are sexy. Expect a lot of crossing at Barcelona, especially if Flick develops the squad he will be hoping to build. The German prioritizes the flanks over the midfield in his style of play; incisive, fast players are non-negotiable, as well as a striker and an attacking midfielder who are both comfortable in the air, and able to play with their back to the goal to create chances for the wingers.
Behind them all, the right and left fullbacks take turns charging up the field, with one of them likely staying back and into a three-player defense (a style that Manchester City has mastered), and the other one pushing further up. When the game requires an unlock via a deep cross or a run into space, the other fullback will be asked to push up as well.
Conceding goals is acceptable. Such a style of play, pushing so high up the field without reservations, leaves plenty of space at the back between the defense and the goalkeeper. As it was the case with Bayern (the 2-3 loss to Paris Saint Germain in 2021 being a good example of this), ultra-pressure comes at a cost, and teams with the ability to counter quickly and with skill will find plenty of opportunities to score.
Players may change position. Hansi Flick’s decisions around who to play and where regardless of their experience to date have impacted a lot of high-profile players now considered the best at what they do. Canadian superstar Alphonso Davies was slowly growing as a winger before Flick exploded him into one of the best left backs in the world. David Alaba turned into a world class center back after being pulled out of that left back position; and world-class talent Kimmich, known for being a positional chameleon with a brain to match, is shining as a defensive midfielder, He was an established right back when Flick took over.
The German will look at players and be, in theory, unafraid to make decisions that land them in different positions. This could prove a problem with some of the traditional fanbase, who could turn to these situations when things don’t work out..
Setting expectations, man management, and physicality. Aside from the tactical aspect of his management in his career so far, Hansi Flick demands a communication style that is open and daily, forging relationships with players that will render the performance he needs out of them on the pitch. This could prove difficult in Spain for the first time in charge of a team that broadly does not speak his native language. It’s the reason other coaches like Simeone struggle to leave Spain, or why Unai Emery is often seen tripping over his words as his passion for what he is saying catches up to his domain of the English language. Making insightful, elaborated points in a non-native tongue is hard. This is likely the reason why news outlets are reporting that Flick and Barcelona are already looking to land Spanish-and-German speaking players who could act as the extension of the manager in the locker, like Thiago Alcantara.
Regardless of the potential language troubles, Flick will overall deploy a style of play that will be clear, specific, and especially after the national team failure, immovable. In Muller’s words while at Bayern: “He tells us what to do with consistency and without alternatives. We know what the player next to us is doing”.
This will likely be a breath of fresh air compared to the exiting manager; even though Xavi stuck to the 4-3-3 style Barcelona die-hard fans demand, the way in which the tactic was deployed was often lacking in shape, purpose or consistency, and often turning into a ball for Raphinha or Lamine Yamal to save the day.
Lastly but equally importantly, Hansi Flick demands that his players are in top physical shape, and if possible, increase their muscle size in order to increase their aggressiveness, pressuring abilities, and aerial superiority. During the COVID outbreak, several Bayern players notoriously put on muscle in the forced break, with some of them looking close to unrecognizable. Coutinho notoriously put on four kilograms (9lbs) of muscle.
If players like Pedri, Yamal, or Cubarsi join the fitness plan, Barcelona could benefit from it in the long term–especially when looking at the injury list year after year.
Aligning Flick's system with Barcelona's current squad
When imagining what Flick’s Barcelona could look like, some players stand out. First is the old guard, the players the German manager has coached in the past. They will prove invaluable both in the integration of the manager, and in the implementation of his system.
That list includes Robert Lewandowski, who is likely to play a Bayern’s Lewa/Muller hybrid role next season, scoring but also assisting plenty, as well as benefiting from set pieces and crosses. Ter Stegen was part of Flick’s German team as well, and with Neuer at Barcelona, the goalkeeper will continue to enjoy the spotlight as a ball-player goalkeeper.
Same is the case with Gündoğan, who Flick managed in the national team.The midfielder, about to turn 34, has the qualities needed, especially if we look at the need to perform, now. Gündoğancertainly has a year or two left in his career; this season, he led Barcelona in progressive carries of the ball and recoveries as well, and is the current free-kick specialist.
There are also those who have not played under Flick yet, but align with his style of play, at least on paper. That includes, above all, Lamine Yamal. His style of play is perfect for the job Flick will want him to perform, and if Flick’s fitness plans follow, we could be in the midst of a supernova of a player.
Other players, like Gavi, theoretically fit right into Flick’s system. The 19 year-old’s ability to be physical sometimes to a fault, his technique, and his attacking abilities will prove a great addition to the starting midfielders on paper, de Jong and Gundogan. If he comes back after his injury on a good note, we could see the best version of Gavi yet.
In defense, one player stands out: Jules Kounde. The Parisian has the passing ability and physicality Flick loves, and could prove a great anchor at the back, as well as an aerial threat. It may be that the defender could have the chance he has been waiting for to finally get the recognition he deserves from his fans.
Ronald Araujo is flawless in the air, on defense and attack, but constant transfer rumors originating from Barcelona hint at the club wanting a big influx of revenue to square the finances up. Flick could see in Cubarsi Barcelona’s Kimmich, being placed in different roles across the pitch and perhaps eventually being placed in midfield. The 17-year-old is certainly displaying mental abilities foreign to someone who is still unable to vote in an election in Spain.
Ferran Torres and Raphinha will need to change a lot of things about the way they play in order to gain the trust of the manager; specially defensively. On the sidelines is Vitor Roque, who especially in this system, would seem to be lost at sea, although the 19 year old still has so much room to grow.
Regardless of current players, there will be a need for new players over the summer. Laporta will likely not be able to find the funds for it unless players exit first. The return of Eric Garcia, on loan from Girona, could prove a good addition at the back, especially after the ball-playing defender’s amazing season at the neighboring club, including five goals scored in La Liga.
If Villarreal’s Alex Baena or Girona’s Aleix Garcia join the team, they would both fit right into this system; the first one behind Lewandowski, and the second one, playing with de Jong or Gundogan. Some aspects of their game, like Aleix’s switch to pushing forward over helping back, or Baena’s seemingly innate ability to earn uncalled for yellow cards when frustrated, will have to be worked on.
In the horizon, and as an almost unobtainable wish, stand players like Kimmich, himself, Davies, or young talent Jamal Musiala. The Bayern Munich player, who made his professional debut at age 17 under Hansi Flick, would be the kind of transfer the German manager would have made if he had just joined Manchester City or Real Madrid.
Not in Barcelona. In Xavi's own words, “The present situation has nothing to do with 25 years ago. The manager would come and say “I want this player, this one, and this one.” It doesn’t work like that anymore.”
Whatever the situation, Flick has landed in Barcelona, and the challenge is one that will make or break him, and Laporta, by extension. If he can find a way to get past politics, language, media, emotional turmoil, financial instability, a cold stadium, and all other things Barcelona, he will be seen as a genius, and Laporta, as a mastermind.
It will all come down to whether this club can stop chasing whatever version of “Barcelona DNA'' is out there in 2024, and whether they can let Flick bring some of his own DNA to an organization that historically prides itself on hanging on to the past.

It had been a long time. A long while, indeed, since the hives were removed from Nostramo. In their place came the endless fields of corn, the unwavering sway of the stalks as they rose out of the land. Of course, any person who knew Nostramo knew that this world wasn't truly the Planet of Darkness; it simply shared a name by sheer coincidence. This world was bright, temperate, and fertile. No pollution clogged the rivers and skies, even as bulk machines designed for the sole purpose of moving unimaginable quantities of grain to and fro went about their business. Humanity had learned long ago that the sun was necessary for crops to flourish, so the expense to keep the world clean was made. Nostramo was a world of life. It had to be in order to survive.
Scarecrows, intended to thwart the predations of hungry birds, rose tall above even the crops. They, by themselves, were hardly effective. The birds were too wise to be frightened by inanimate sticks. What was effective, at least for this one tiny part of the world, was the plate the scarecrow had been adorned with. The armor was a faded sapphire, somewhere between the blues of an ocean and the blue of old Nostramo's skies. Yet, the plate was marred with the scars of time. The blue had been worn away by the passage of years with no protection from the elements, and cracks and crevices from battle were many and they were deep. The passage of centuries had only worsened them. Now, it hardly even resembled armor, despite its once-mastercrafted artifice. It was a shadow of its former self. Glory—if the ceramite plates ever truly knew glory—was long gone, now. Rivets that once held pieces of flayed skin and the bones of poor, unfortunate souls now rested happily empty.
There was also a house. It was a simple prefabricated hab unit, only sized up to accommodate a being far larger than any normal human. Time had worn it down, too, but the rockcrete remained strong even as the white paint that once gave it a dash of vibrancy had peeled away and left only a stone gray visage. The roof was little more than a slightly tilted set of squares, designed to remove rain while only necessitating the bare minimum of extra material. Some parts of the unit were splotched with yellow pollen, and an odd vine curled up the side, almost making the place appear rustic.
And a woman emerged. She was tall. Unnervingly so. Even with the enlarged door, she risked slamming her head into the doorframe if she did not exercise caution. Her black hair was tied into a simple braid, though it was long enough to reach the small of her back. Scars—deep ones—crowded the area around her mouth like unwanted guests. Her clothes were simple and unrefined; a plain gray tunic and an unimpressive skirt covered her from her neck to her ankles, leaving only her head and arms exposed. She wore boots underneath it all, but one could only cast small glimpses of them from between the hem of her skirt and the length of the grass she tread upon.
Kassandra Curze was a woman long forgotten. Once, she had been known as the Night Haunter. A long time ago, she had sought justice and enacted it in whichever way she saw fit. Once, she had been seen as a woman who no one could trust. She was a tool to be maintained, to be utilized and then discarded when the work was done. Not any longer. For all anyone knew, the Night Haunter was dead.
She had heard stories, of course, of the Galaxy beyond Nostramo. She knew of her sister Guilliman's return and the wars she fought, how the Avenging Daughter of the Imperium bloodied her hands to keep Mankind safe. Kassandra knew of this. She knew that men and women who called themselves her children died every day, trying to enact the will of a Primarch they believed long dead. Her will.
"Redeem us," she had said. "Protect Mankind."
She sighed as the memories rushed back into her. Yet, despite the pain of those recollections, she spared a half-smile. If she was looking back, it meant she was not looking forward. She had not had a vision in millennia. It was one of many blessings she believed she did not deserve. Yet, she took them, fearing the alternative. Better to bask in rewards unearned than to be soaked in the just punishments. Truthfully, she feared justice. She had no delusions against the reality that, if anyone deserved to be burnt alive or hanged from a rope, it was her.
Yet she still lived. She lived here, by sheer coincidence, on a planet called Nostramo that was not Nostramo. She tended to crops. She repaired bulk movers and operated servo-harvesters. She could predict what the weather in three weeks was going to look like just by smelling the air. Her crops contributed to the war efforts, and she made her contribution to the tithe. She had been doing that for thousands of years. Surely, she had done more for the Imperium than most women could do. Surely she had earned some small piece of redemption, just by staying still and not hurting anyone. Just by eating and drinking alone, without anybody to injure or torture with her presence.
As she made her way toward the field, she whispered to herself, "The Night Haunter is dead."
The stalks were tall enough that they would have surpassed even an armored space marine in height, but she stood a head taller than them. If she looked out while standing in the field, she could see the horizons in all directions, with only a few odd hab units breaking up the perfect solitude of the endless sea of grain. Birds who made their nests amidst the fields swooped around. There were cats who lived in the fields, Kassandra knew. They were put there to hunt the birds, who ate both the crops and the insects who lived on them. She had always wanted to touch one of them, but they refused to draw near, even at the promise of food.
She slipped through the fields with the grace of a butterfly and began to examine the crops. The ones in section 1-A were in good condition. 1-B was struggling with a stalkbeetle infestation. She would have to requistion some pesticide. 1-C was good. 1-D flourished. 1-E was beautiful. She kept going through the sections of her field, scanning for any possible variance, any discrepancy that she needed to be concerned about. The administratum believed that there was a team of ten workers living in her hab unit. They were wrong, but she could do the work of ten men and then still have time left in the day to do other things.
When she finished the final section assigned to her, she departed from the field. She went home. She sat in her empty bedroom (if an empty chamber could be called that) and meditated. She could always feel the pricks of the future gnawing at her mind, trying to force their way in, but something stopped them. Even as her subconscious tried to skim the threads of time, it refused to delve into the deeper waters. Even if she tried to see something, she could not. Her foresight had left her.
Meditation was not something that had come naturally for her. She was once a being who was so utterly lost in her own torment that the idea of any self-reflection physically pained her. When she first struggled with those memories, the attacks had come. Moments where she could not breathe, even though there was air and her superhuman physique should have meant she could have survived even in the vacuum of space. Moments where she felt so small and vulnerable, despite her giant frame and overwhelming strength. Her heart racing even faster than it did in battle because when she was fighting she was in control of herself. When she fought the beast in her mind, she was not in control.
But that hurdle, though it had taken centuries to overcome, was simply an obstacle, and there was no task one of the Emperor's Daughters could not complete. Not that she took any pride in being related to the Emperor, of course; she simply saw the reality.
She opened her eyes. As her mind returned to the sensations of the world, she whispered to herself, "The Night Haunter is dead."
She left her bedroom and went to the kitchen. This was the one luxury she afforded herself, to honor the one person who had ever taken the time to know her. They had loved to bake, so she learned as well. Anyone, given thousands of years with which to practice, would become skilled in any craft.
Soon, the smell of freshly-baked pies and bread wafted out of her open windows. There was no one to smell them, and no one to share them with. She ate alone. Loaves of bread, fruit pies, chocolate tarts, and jams and butters with which to garnish them were all devoured quickly. She could taste every last flavor, could perfect every single modicum of sweetness until it practically melted away in a cloud of bliss, but she never enjoyed this part. It reminded her of all the things she did not have, and then she disliked herself for wanting more mercies than she had already been granted.
Then, when she was done eating and the sun was set, she went to sleep on the floor. Then she woke up the next day.
And she did it all again. Over and over again, without fail, without the slightest instance of change. It was peaceful.
A knock came on her door while she was baking. They called her name, not the false name the governor's inspectors knew her by. It was a woman's voice, boisterous and grizzled. Instantly, she knew who the voice belonged to: Leona El'Jonson. There were other women who sounded like that, but none could match the timbre of the Lion. Kassandra knew it as though the sound were engraved into her very soul.
She pulled a knife from the cabinet. For a normal human, it would have been the size of a longsword.
She whispered to herself as she approached the door slowly, "The Night Haunter is dead."
The door opened, and she saw the Primarch of the First Legion. She was wearing her armor. She was unarmed, however, and she looked... older. Her once pristine blonde hair was flecked with gray. The shadows of wrinkles pulled at her features, like a normal woman in her late thirties. And the steel daggers her eyes once held weren't there. Her face was almost... soft.
"Curze," the Lion said. Her voice, at least, hadn't changed.
"El'Jonson," Kassandra responded.
The sisters looked at each other. Kassandra realized with a chill that the Lion looked awkward. There was no certainty in the woman's eyes. Not like there had been during the Heresy or the Scouring. Not like there had been during the Great Crusade.
Was this really Leona El'Jonson?
"You look different," the Lion commented. "Much calmer. Peaceful."
Kassandra just stared. Surely, the knife in her hand—she had it hidden behind the doorframe—had not escaped her sister's notice. The Lion knew it was there, right?
Then, as the Lion's eyes burrowed into her own, she understood that yes, she did know. What was she thinking? Leona El'Jonson was never a deceitful woman. She had never once told a lie, and her coming to this house unarmed meant she had no intention of causing a ruckus. At least, not yet.
It meant she was vulnerable. Kassandra could get rid of her now. She could plunge the knife into the 1st's throat and no one would ever know. She knew, without her even saying, why she was here. She wanted to bring her back. She wanted her to fight. She wanted her to be at the head of the Night Lords again, to fight against the enemies of the Imperium like she had ten millennia ago. One simple murder would end this before it even began. First it was the Lion, then it would be Guilliman. Then it would be Dorn, maybe, or Corax. Maybe even Aurelia would come down and beg her to turn coat.
No. No more.
Kassandra's brow furrowed in agitation. "I'm staying here. The Night Haunter is dead."
The Lion looked back at her with a thoughtful expression on her face. She pinched the bridge of her nose anxiously—a new habit; perhaps she picked it up from Guilliman—and asked, "May I come in?"
She wanted to say no. More than anything, she wanted to say no. But she smelled the peanut butter pie from the kitchen that she knew she would normally have eaten by herself and something cracked. Something poked at her eyes, then. It was an unfamiliar feeling, one that she hadn't experienced in millennia. She kept her face even, but her mouth betrayed her: "Yes," she answered.
She guided the Lion into the kitchen and stabbed the knife into the cutting board—a warning—then she pulled out a chair for her sister to sit in. The table was far larger than a woman living alone needed. Thirty-seven chairs, all evenly spaced, rested in a perfect circle around the table. Pies and loaves of bread adorned it like decorations, despite their smell. These details did not escape the Lion's notice as she sat down. "I did not take you for the sentimental type, Curze."
"I am not," Kassandra responded. She pulled another set of pies out of the oven—lemon—and moved them to the table.
The Lion spared one last gaze at the expansive table and the feast that had been laid out before her and chanced a sad smile. "No. No, you're not."
Kassandra handed her sister a plate, a knife, a spoon, and a fork, then sat down. She pulled a slice of apple pie onto her plate, then slapped a dollop of ice cream onto it. She then grabbed one of the seasoned loaves of bread and set it down next to her plate. "Eat," she said. "They're better fresh."
There was discomfort in the way the Lion picked items to add to her plate. She placed a cinnamon roll in front of her, took small bites of it until it was gone, then quietly grabbed another. The sisters, for a time, ate in silence.
Almost, Kassandra wished the Lion would just eat her sweets and leave. She hoped El'Jonson would get the picture: Kassandra Curze was a new woman, living a life that she wanted, not the one that had been forced onto her. But, of course, she had to ask. "Why are you here, El'Jonson?"
The response came quickly. The Lion seemed to ease up, the territory becoming more familiar than sitting quietly and eating sweets. "I came to fetch you."
Kassandra set her fork down with a distinct clink. She stood and pulled a jar of strawberry jam from her cabinet. "Would you like some?"
Anger began to spread across the Lion's face. "You mock me."
"What if I do? What are you going to do about it, El'Jonson? Are you going to send your Angels here to destroy my crops and raze my home to the ground? Such measures are not beneath you." Kassandra's tone was even and controlled. Her heart, however, began to race. Thoughts began to swarm her, too many to control. What if she were persuaded? What if the Lion forces her? What if she destroys her new Nostramo just to get her to leave? What if she already informed her Legion, and her children are on their way to take her back to the wars?
She turned back to the cabinet to put the jam away.
"The Imperium is dying, Curze. It is split asunder. I've yet to even see Guilliman, but she and I are the only ones left, aside from you."
"What?" Kassandra wheeled around to face her sister. She looked for some semblance of dishonesty in the Lion's face, but there was none. She told the truth. "Only us three remain?"
"All the others are dead or missing. Even Aurelia has disappeared, gone in pursuit of Little Light. There is no one left to fight."
"Even Sanguinia?"
"I'm told she has not left Baal since her Dove died during the Siege of Terra." The Lion looked weary for a moment. "I'm sorry, Curze. I wish our reunion could have been done under better circumstances, but-"
"Better circumstances?"
The Lion looked shocked, both by the sentiment that had come out of her own mouth and by the venom with which Kassandra had spewed her reply. Her body tensed, preparing for a fight.
"For ten thousand years, I have tended to this farm. I have not harmed a soul in all that time. I have done my duty as a citizen of the Imperium. I have done everything in my power to make sure that my sins are wiped away, and all you do to wipe away my grievances with you are some honeyed words of apology for bothering me? Odd for you, granted, but no less unwanted. Perhaps I should have turned coat with Aurelia when I had the chance. Then, at least, my wishes would be treated with some respect."
The Lion, taken aback, sighed. "Kassandra." She stood and moved around the table toward Kassandra, doing her best to make the motion seem gentle. She wanted to appear kind. "I made mistakes. Too many to count. I hurt my children, I hurt my loved one, and I hurt you. I see that now. Every day, I wish I had not."
Kassandra watched as tears slipped down Leona El'Jonson's face. She watched as the stone slab of a woman began to cry. Wetness made lines down the 1st Primarch's face, leaving stains that would take hours to leave her skin. Even as she cried, however, her face remained still.
The shock manifested in half-spoken words. "Leona, what are you-"
"I know I have no right to come down to your home and ask you to take up your sword again. I know you have found a measure of peace here. Believe me when I say I do not want to destroy that. To destroy this." She motioned to the sweets arrayed on the table. This was the closest thing the sisters had ever been to being a family. Suddenly, Kassandra knew that Leona understood. "This is what all of us have been fighting for all of this time. A chance to be together. We might not have said it, but that is what really caused all of this. Our chance to be a family has passed us by, but we can stop others from feeling that pain. The Imperium is made up of daughters and sons. Of mothers and fathers. Of brothers and sisters. I fight to protect them, Curze, and so do your children."
Finally, something to pick at. "You lie. The Night Lords would never-"
"The VIIIth has changed. They have taken your words to heart, Kassandra."
"What are you talking about?"
Leona reminded her of words that she had not heard for millennia. "Protect Mankind. That is what you told them, isn't it? All this time, they have followed the words of their Primarch."
"You... You're lying. That Legion of madmen would never listen to me. It's impossible. El'Jonson, you are lying to me!"
"I am not."
"You are. You've come to take me back to them. They want me to lead them, to be the lunatic that leads their merry band of insane scum. I refuse. I refuse to play that role again. The Night Haunter is dead! She is dead!"
"Kassandra Curze!"
The shout stopped Kassandra. She turned away from Leona and looked into the empty sink, seeing her reflection in the metal basin. "The Night Haunter is dead."
"I do not want the Night Haunter. I want you, Kassandra. But we must go soon. Beyond Nostramo, the Galaxy burns. It needs you."
As she stared into the basin, Kassandra had a vision. She watched as she gazed into the eyes of Leona, with the 1st plunging knife into her throat. The knife currently resting in her cutting board. She watched, with cloudy eyes, as she squirmed and fought only to be overpowered by her armored sister. The 1st came here to kill her. She is a traitor.
She reached for the knife.
For a brief moment, she felt something touch her hand. It was a feeling she had not felt in a long time. She smelled the sweets on the table. She listened to the swaying of the fields outside. She felt her own breath, moving in and out gently. She looked at her sister, stern as ever. She heard a voice. Stop, my love, it said. I am here. I will keep you safe.
She stopped herself from replying. She knew it was just a trick of the mind. It was a hallucination to be ignored. Her lover was dead.
Leona came over and grabbed her. At some point, Kassandra had fallen to the ground. She had her arms wrapped around her, squeezing her tightly. What was she doing? Was she trying to suffocate her? Was this an attempted murder?
Then the memories. The flashes of warmth, of love. The brief moments of respite amidst the sea of pain. She remembered her love, and how they used to hold her. How they used to hug her, to embrace her with their little arms and somehow make her feel like she wasn't the worst woman in the universe. She felt Leona holding her tightly, securely, like she was afraid to let go, and she felt that again.
And, for the first time in ten thousand years, Kassanadra Curze cried.
As she cried, she had another vision.
There was a house. It was a simple prefabricated hab unit, only sized up to accommodate beings far larger than any normal human, but also large enough to hold a lot of people. There was a fresh coat of white paint on the outside, and inside there were many rooms. There was a bedroom with a large bed fit for a Primarch and her lover. There was a nursery painted dark blue, like the midnight sky hanging over Nostramo. There was a kitchen, where Kassandra was hard at work making pie and bread and other baked goods. There was the sound of happy mingling coming from the dining room, where the table was already stacked full with food. And, filling all of the chairs, were her family. Smiling. Happy. Together.
And her belly was swollen with the light of new life. And as she carried the last pie into the dining room, she felt the warm gazes of her sisters, of their spouses, of her father, and of her love, and she smiled.
Then she was back in reality. She looked at Leona.
"This dream that I have," she said. "Is it worth fighting for?"
Leona placed her forehead against Kassandra's. "If even Kassandra Curze can have hope, then Humanity's dream is not yet dead." She pulled away, "But to reach that, we must fight."
Kassandra looked out her window. She saw her old armor hanging on the scarecrow, as beat up as it was. "Tell me," she began, "where is my Legion?"

My husband, Jose 34 yrs old started having pancreas related pain Sep, 15 2023 - he has an Inguinal Hernia that was found April 2023. He thought he his pain was related to that, as we been to the urgent care for previous pains - was sent home with pain meds. September took him to a hospital ER as this pain was different he stated.
Sep 2023 he was hospitalized for 15 days with chronic pancreatitis. They attempted to remove his gallbladder, had to abort surgery due to his abdomen was too inflamed. He was also on a pain pump with dilaudid, in the ICU due to his increased heart rate. He was discharged with pain medicine and to follow up with a GI and the surgeon. He was the most unhealthy person you’d ever meet - red meat diet. Never really been to the doctor. Ate whatever he wanted. Never, ever got sick.
October 2023, same hospital different location. Went to the ER for pain, admitted to the ICU again for the heart rate and this time necrotizing pancreatitis. Was there for 10 days. Pain meds told to follow up with GI - nobody wanted to operate due to not wanting to upset the pancreas even more.
November 2023, same hospital different location was admitted and hospitalized for 4 months. Was in pain and vomiting the night before. Had stents and a drain placed to get the fluid drained out. Once they disturbed the pancreas his WBC jumped up and infection disease doctors had to come in and get source control. Everything was going good until Dec 2, 2023 - he had horrible abdominal pain that just was not going away, while getting a CT scan done he was moved to ICU for the heart rate. While in ICU it was confirmed he was bleeding out internally. He was intubated for 5 days - they stopped the bleeding which part of his colon died and he now has an ileostomy. They decided it was best to open him up to flush and clean out everything inside of him (doctors compared it to a “bomb going off” because it was such a mess) he had a Jtube placed in his abdomen for feeds as well as 2 drains. And a NG tube in his nose sucking out the bile in his stomach. They removed his gallbladder, appendix, part of his colon, and 60% of his pancreas. He was in the ICU for about 2 weeks, then moved back to a regular floor. A week or so later he went septic and had to be intubated in the ICU once again where he experienced a “dropped foot”. Once he got back down to a regular floor Physical Therapy came to help - he had a walker for help and would get very tired getting around. He was released from the hospital Feb 08,2024 on TPN and IV antibiotics. His PICC line and jtube were actually just removed in April. He still has one drain in the is still draining about 35 cc daily. Today, he’s gained back about 53 pounds, after loosing 100. He’s completed 2 months of physical and occupational therapy. He said he feels good, says he’s about 60% back to himself ready to get back to work. In the hospital we had a great team and wonderful nurses, he of course had a couple of break downs and has everyone reassuring him he would eventually get better. If anybody would have said that to me at the beginning of the year I would not have believed them. For somebody who’s almost died twice and having a bunch of drains and tubes coming out of them he’s in good spirits today and I’m super grateful for that.
Currently we are dealing with getting his blood sugar under control.

Sudden onset 2 years ago after covid. Initial bloodwork: high bilirubin, low estrogen, high prolactin.
Other symptoms: pain that comes on randomly every couple weeks in joints in my upper extremities (usually forearms or finger joints), difficulty focusing and easily fatigued mentally and physically, occasional right and left sided abdominal pain. Fluctuating cycles at times. Migraines usually being my right eye or the back of my head and hard to control. Dizziness and fast heart rate after standing in one place for too long.
Over the months my bili fluctuated but was always high. Diagnosed with Gilbert’s syndrome. Haven’t been able to get a repeat hormone panel because I convinced some random clinic doctor to order it for me. High prolactin fluctuates between normal and abnormal but doc stopped checking after 2 normal results and said that it ruled out a prolactinoma for that reason. Normal pelvic ultrasound and abdominal ultrasound.
All other bloodwork had been unremarkable but really just included basic labs and autoimmune tests.
Please help me find answers or next steps. My doctor keeps repeating the same bloodwork over and over and not giving me anything referrals or advice because “your bloodwork is normal everything is fine”. I’m tired of feeling this way.

Hey folks, posting here to see if anyone has anymore insights. I hurt myself what seemed to be right groin playing badminton sept of last year. I popped some Advil and continued on. Played one more time the following week things got worse so I went to pt and primary doctor. Doctor told me to get on 800mg of Advil for 2 weeks and do pt.
I did pt for 4-5 months, mostly working on glute abductor strength. My right glute is a lot weaker than my left. most of the pain went away except for some lingering pain. I started playing again in Jan 2024. But also went for a follow up with my primary talking about the last 10% of pain.
Primary referred me to a sports medicine doc, I went in April. Sports doc took xray then MRI later Showed impingement … mild arthritis in hip and small subchonral cyst. I knew about impingement and mild arthritis from an injury 10 years ago on the same hip … the cyst is new. Doc suggested a cortisone shot to ensure the pain is coming from hip. I haven’t pulled the trigger yet. Mean while, pain has gotten worse in the past month. I stopped playing again and pain has not gone away. A combo of dull ache (lingering but more frequent now) … ache when putting on socks on right foot (new), and deep glute soreness that seems to radiate to my lower back. I am back in 800mg of Advil 2x a day.
My pt thinks the shot may mask the pain … but is leaving it up to me.
I am just frustrated at the set back and worried about all the pain I may have to go through on a day to day basis by reading this sub.
Not even sure what I am looking for by posting … support maybe, as my mental health has been bad in the past week as pain is getting worse.

I'm 31, don't smoke, and don't drink much (have not had any alcohol since the procedure). I had osseous surgery to fill in deep pockets left behind from my wisdom tooth extraction, which was done last year in August. I was informed before the extraction that some of the surrounding bone may need to be removed in order to remove the wisdom teeth, and that a bone graft may be recommended afterwards if the pockets didn't fill in on their own. Fast forward to May of this year, and I still have deep pockets up top. We decided to proceed with the surgery on the left side of my mouth, top and bottom.
I strictly followed post-op care instructions and had a check up on Monday this week. Sutures were removed, I reported little to no pain, and was told I was healing very well. The next day I flossed for the first time since the surgery. It was painful and bled, but I was told to expect this, continue brushing and flossing and that I should gradually improve. I flossed again the next night, but have since chosen not to because of pain and some visual changes to my gum line. One area has turned red and appears to have receded some. I also suspect the gum line has receded a bit in the very back, up top, but I don't have the means to get a good look. It's been 5 days since the first time I flossed my left side.
Going to call my clinic and ask to be seen. Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated though. I'm worried I did some damage. My instructions said no flossing or brushing for 2 weeks. After sutures were removed at the 2-week check up, I thought I could floss again. Was that wrong?

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Parking_Breadfruit80
Originally posted to AITAH
Previous BoRU
[New Update]: AITA for refusing to have my dad in my life after he chose his new family?
Editor’s Note: changed letters to names for readability, originally used Logan, but now switched to Luke based on OOP’s latest update.
Editor’s Note 2: Also have removed some older relevant comments as they have been covered in the further updates and needing more space to fit all posts here.
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: verbal abuse, emotional abuse and manipulation, infidelity, gaslighting, betrayal. vandalism, obsessive behavior
RECAP
Original Post (rareddit): April 20, 2024
When I was 13 my dad had an affair and left my mom and moved in with his affair partner who ill call Jane.
At first me and my sister would visit every weekend and I will admit he was a good dad although I never liked Jane.
When Jane got pregnant and had their son our visits became less frequent and my dad was more concerned with his new family. He would miss some of my my recitals or my sisters competitions because he was busy with his son.
When I was 16. Jane decided she wanted to move for a new job opportunity. Me and my sister begged him not to leave us bit he just said "I need to prioritise my family". He moved 10 hours away. That pretty much ended our relationship and I decided to go no contact as it was clear he did not consider me family.
My younger sister stayed in contact with him. He would try and call me and offer for me to come and visit with my sister but I refused. When he came back to see my sister I would refuse to speak to him when he turned up at the house. I didn't invite him to my high school or college graduation.
I'm now 33 and have remained no contact with him, he has over the years repeatedly tried contacting me and getting his family to contact me on his behalf to reconcile. I have avoided family events in case he attended including my sisters wedding and baby showers.
My dad and his family moved back to our home town 3 months ago and he has been relentless trying to reconcile.
I have received messages from my half brother and sister wanting a relationship saying he's a great dad. My dad found out I'm getting married and keeps trying to contact me and has even tried to speak to my fiancé.
Jane messaged me saying I have broke my dads heart repeatedly and I'm pathetic and should get therapy. I replied back that she was nothing but a home wrecking whore and then blocked her.
Everyone seems to be wanting me to let him back in my life. I'm sick of all the harassment and accidentally bumping into my dad and his family in the town. Whenever I see him I just walk away and refuse to speak to them. Everyone is saying he's a good dad and tried his best to remain in contact but I pushed him away.
Everyone is pressuring me my mom, sister. Grandparents aunts and uncles, even some of my friends. My fiancé has even started saying I'm the AH for shutting him out. Its all starting to get to me so am I aita?
Edit:
Thank you for your comments I haven't got through all of them but I'm glad to know that most of you think I'm NTA which is a huge relief as I thought I was going insane.
I'm going to have a serious conversation with my fiancé as most of you pointed out he should have my back. If he continues to defend my dad then I'm going to have to think if this relationship should go any further. We are 12 weeks out from the wedding but need to sort this out sooner than later.
For information
I own a local business moving away is not an option
I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone and he is friends with a lot of people including my fiancé family.
My dad did not come back for me - he came back because Jane’s parents need help and care.
He has not financially supported me since I was 17 he withheld my college fund to try and blackmail me into having a relationship with him so I had to work and get loans.
I've avoided events because my family use it as a chance to force reconciliation. He also won't leave me alone and makes scenes - hell come up to me talking as if nothing has happened try to hug me or starts crying.
I cant simply cut everyone off - everyone is on his side and against me including my own mother.
Edit 2
To give you all a bit more context when he left my mom for Jane he only wanted us on the weekend my mom offered him 50/50 but refused.
I didn't like Jane and was standoffish with her because I knew what they had done- my sister was too young to understand and was more accepting of her. Jane was mean to me but nice to my sister when I was at my dad's I felt uncomfortable and she would purposefully leave me out of fun activities or plan things purely for my sister. We had a few arguments over minor things but my dad always took her side. My dad and me used to have daddy daughter date at least once every 2 weeks. Jane put a stop to that.
When she had my half brother we went from going every weekend to once every 6 weeks. My dad was MIA and had finally gotten his precious son. He stopped trying with me.
When they moved I was so upset he chose to leave us. He didn't want custody just for us to visit him every now and again and speak to him on the phone. Parenting at a distance so all of his focus was on his new family
When I graduated from high school and refused to invite him everything blew up Jane called me some terrible names and so did my dad and he refused to give me my college fund unless I started being part of the family again. From what I gathered, he spent it on his new family.
I'm sick of being the one to miss out on events with my family. I would be willing to be in the same room but not interact or even be civil but he pushes things and makes it impossible
Edit 3
Have spoken to my fiancé. Update will be posted shortly
AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA
OOP on staying away from the father and his family and blocking Jane

OOP: I've tried my best to stay away from him and his family but with it being a small town its impossible to avoid them. Some of the times I've bumped into him seemed a bit too coincidental and feel like it was a set up.
I have blocked Jane can't stand the woman she was always mean to me even when I was a child because I was standoffish. My sister is 5 years younger and was more accepting of her so my sister and Jane have a good relationship.

 
Update #1 (rareddit): April 20, 2024 (10 hours later)
Thank you for all of the comments although most seem to be NTA some were YTA. Some of you gave helpful suggestions which I am planning to take on board.
I have just spoken to my fiancé and unfortunately it has not gone well but at this point in time I've had enough and want to runaway and never come back.
My fiancé knows my history with my dad and Jane. I explained to him that him siding with my father and pressuring me was hurting me and as my fiancé he should be supporting me.
My fiancé who I'll call Luke told me he can't support me in doing something that he knows is wrong. Luke told me that he had spoke to my father and had an understanding of both sides of the story and believes that if we both sit down and talk we can sort this out and reconcile.
I told Luke I don't want this and want no contact and asked why he is even speaking to my father. Luke admitted his father who is friends with my dad encouraged Luke to speak to him and hear him out.
Luke told me my dad loved me very much and always wanted to be in my life and has pictures of me (I'm guessing he got these from my family as my social media is set to private). Luke said my dad is heartbroken at the state of our relationship because I was being unreasonable about him moving away when I was young. Luke stated I got on the wrong foot with Jane and that I was not innocent in the breakdown of the relationship. He told me that everyone can see the truth but me and to look in the mirror because I'm the problem.
Needless to say I broke down crying and asked him why he was doing this to me and not supporting me. Luke claims to love me but won't stand by and watch me be "a heartless bitch".
After he said this I stood up told him that he shouldn't marry a heartless bitch and walked out. I'm currently sat in my car. My phone is blowing up with Luke trying to contact me but I don’t want to speak to him. I feel like I'm losing everything and everyone I dont understand what is happening.
 
Update #2 (rareddit): April 21, 2024
Hi everyone thanks for the comments and letting me sound off on you as I desperately need an outside perspective.
I know a lot of you are telling me to cut all contact with my family and leave town. That is not an option for me financially and I would not be able to set up business elsewhere all my money is invested in it and I have only managed to get established recently with steady income, relocating is not an option for me. I love my friends and family and don't want to cut everyone off, I love my hometown I grew up here this is my life and I'm not willing to walk away from it.
I didn't expect to write another update this fast but a lot has happened today.
So firstly I agreed to meet my dad to talk and try and get him to back off and leave me alone. I asked my mom to arrange it, just him no one else. I wasn't sure if he would agree to that but within 15 minutes of her calling he was at the door.
I asked my mom to stay and mediate. To summarize the conversation. These are a bit messed up because it's a lot to remember.
Me: * I asked him to give me space and stop trying to get everyone on his side and let me live my life.

• I told him he stopped being my father when he moved 10 hrs away
  
• I told him Jane was mean to me and told him about all the horrible things she has said to me over the years.
  
• I hate how he chose Jane and his new family over me and how he told me he had to prioritise them and how he basically told me I wasn't family
  
• He was an AH for withholding my college fund and trying to blackmail me and then spending it on his new family
  
• I hate how I have missed major family events because he attended the events and would make them awkward.
  
• I don't see his son and daughter as my family and I'm sick of them trying to speak to me and approach me
  
• he keeps making scenes every time he sees me and making me look the bad guy
  
• he keeps inserting himself into my life going to my fiancé’s family events, going behind my back to talk and sway Luke to his side
  
• I hate how he cheated on my mom and broke our family up and then listened to Jane who stopped our dates, missed my recitals, reduced contact and was more concerned about his son.
  

Him * He loves me and always has he is never going to give up trying to reconnect and he has given me enough space over the years and he is done hearing about my life from 2nd hand knowledge and is not willing to miss any more if it.

• he loves Jane and and can't regret his past because he wouldn't have her or his 2 kids. He wishes he had done it differently and ended his marriage with my mom first.

*his kids are innocent and I shouldn't be taking it out on them they just want to know their big sister

• I was difficult child who was rude and disrespectful to Jane breaking her belongings, calling her names, ruining day trips.
  
• when Jane got pregnant she was high risk and me coming every week and starting arguments was stressing her out so for her and his sons sake he stopped the weekend visitation. He still spoke to us on the phone and took us out for dinner and days out but just didn't let us sleep over.
  
• when his son was born he was premature and had health complications which meant him staying in hospital for weeks and frequent hospital admissions. Jane was also going through PPD so he wasn't able to see us as much and had to miss some events when he was taking care of Jane and his son.
  
• Jane was unable to get a job locally and the opportunity was too good to pass up so they had to move. He pointed out that he came back to town for weekends as much as he could to see us and would always invite us to fly out and spend vacations with him. He phoned everyday but I refused to speak or see him.
  
• They had flown in for my graduation but I refused to invite him and he lost his temper and refused to give me my college fund. He apologised for this and tried to fix this a few weeks later and give me the money but I refused it. He has not spent the money he still has it and I have only to ask and I can have it.
  
• he had visited me at my college to try and talk to me but I refused to see him.
  
• He is not going to miss family events
  
• he makes a scene because he misses me and just wants to talk to me and reconcile but I always end up running way or shouting insults at him and Jane.
  
• He has been trying for 16years to reconnect but I shut him down at every turn he just wants to be my dad.
  
• He is old friends with my fiancé dad and he hoped my fiancé could talk some sense into me and open a line of communication.
  
• he feels I never gave Jane a chance no matter how she tried in the beginning and hoped we could be civil. Jane hates knowing I talk bad about her, am mean to her children and won't speak to him.
  

He wants:
My dad is in therapy and wants me to join him for family sessions.
He wants me to spend time with him 1-1
To stop being rude and mean to his children and spend time with them.
Stop trash talking Jane to everyone and actually give her a chance
Invite for him and my family to my wedding and to walk me down the aisle.
I want:
Him to stop talking to my friends and getting others to try and talk to me on his behalf
Keep Jane away from me completely
To be be civil at events or in town providing he does not try and hug me or talk to me.
My mom told him he was being unrealistic with some of the things he wants especially regarding Jane and his other children so we have agreed for now.
I will attend 3 therapy sessions with him when he arranges it. (my mom thinks I need individual therapy as well) He will stop trying to interfere in my life and relationships He will keep Jane away from me and talk to his kids to give me space. I will be civil to him in public as long as he respects my personal space and does not approach or pressure me.
As for my fiancé - I still havent spoken to him, he turned up at my moms but she refused to let him in. He keeps blowing up my phone and so does his family and friends telling me to hear him out.
During my conversation with my dad I found out my dad has paid for most of the vendors and services for my upcoming wedding and they have been on speaking terms for quite some time ( longer than I thought). Luke told me his family had paid for these and i believed him. I feel betrayed by him and that I can't trust him. I'm going to have to speak to him eventually but I dont feel ready.
Relevant Comments
OOP on if she can block her father and if she can have an order on him to stay away from her

OOP: I wouldn't be able to get a restraining order against him. What am I going to do tell the police my dad is talking to people in the town and my friends about me. He is showing up to parties and events he's invited to. He's trying to talk to me when he bumps into me in town?
He is not on my social media , he is blocked on my phone other than events and meeting in town that can be chalked up to coincidence I have nothing to report

 
Update #3 - April 27, 2024
Firstly I'd like to apologise for taking down my posts. I was really upset and felt under lot of pressure and needed space to think without constant messages. Some of you were trying to be helpful and I apreciate that but some of the abusive messages I received was terrible.
I'm updating for those who have asked for an update and were supportive to me. This will be my last post and I wont be posting again.
Firstly the deal with my dad is off the table. He couldn't even manage a week without overstepping my boundaries. So there will be no therapy sessions with him and I will remain no contact.
As you are all aware after speaking to my dad and agreeing a way forward and my conditions.
Keep Jane away from me Tell his kids to back off Don't pressure me or invade my space
It lasted all of 3 days. Everyone seemed happy I had "forgiven" my dad and told me so. My sister was excited I was willing to give him a chance and with some pressure I agreed to have dinner with just her and my dad.
When my sister and I arrived at the restaurant to meet our dad he was not alone. He had invited Jane, my grandparents his son and daughter. He got up and tried to hug me.
I immediately became upset asking why they were there. My dad told me that if we have any hope of repairing our relationship I had to accept Jane and my younger siblings. I told him he just broke our deal and to never contact me again and tried to leave. He refused to let me leave and grabbed hold of me.
When I say all hell broke loose I mean it. I started shouting at them. My Dad, Jane and grandparents tried to gaslight me and convince me to sit down when that didn't work things got very heated and a shouting match started and a lot of unforgivable things were said by my dad and Jane including remarks about my appearance and calling me a psychopath. My half brother walked out of the restaurant and my half sister started to cry.
My sister actually surprised me and defended me, shouting at my dad for ruining things after all this time when I had finally given him a chance. She even slapped Jane. She got me out of there and apologised to me. I think this was the first time she had really seen how Jane was with me and how she treat me. She kept saying she couldn't understand how dad had spent years saying he would do anything to have me back and then would do this when he finally got his chance to rebuild the relationship.
My dad has been trying to contact me but I have blocked him and refused to talk to him. I have also refused to speak to my grandparents. My dad has tried to convince my mom and sister to speak to me but I think he's burned his bridges with them.
The incident from the restaurant has spread and some people seem to be backing off. Like I said what my dad and Jane shouted at me was unforgiveable and they were overheard and this is a small town. Hopefully people will back off and those who won't Im going to have to cut them out.
My sister is very unhappy with my dad and Jane and not speaking to them. She is blaming them for me going no contact again. My sister is not letting them see her kids. I don't know if my sister will reconcile but right now she is furious. My mom is also furious and apparently had a few choice word with my dad and Jane and has promised she will never pressure me again to speak to him.
I am going to go to individual therapy I think I definitely need it. I do feel bad about my half siblings as they havnt done anything wrong and am maybe open to having a distanced kind of relationship with them in the future but I'm not ready yet or if I'll ever be. I did send them a message on Facebook to apologise and tell them they've done nothing wrong.
Lastly to update you all - in regards to my fiance well I spoke to him yesterday about everything I had been radio silent since walking out on him.
Basically he was pressured by his father to speak to my dad and was fed a sob story of a misunderstood father desperately wanting to be in his daughters life. Luke had become annoyed with me refusing to attend his family events and walking out of his mother's birthday party when I realised my dad and Jane was there as he was getting pressure from his family about me ruining their events.
He just wanted everyone to be happy and get along clearly at my expense.
Luke admitted my dad had paid for some of the vendors for the wedding but he did not know this until after it was already paid. His father had told Luke that him and his mom had paid. My dad had told Luke it was a gift and his way of contributing. Luke admitted my dad had asked him to speak to me on his behalf.
I told Luke he had betrayed my trust and I couldn't see myself marrying someone who does not support me. He broke down crying and apologising to me and promising to never do it again. Luke was heartbroken and begged for a 2nd chance.
To those of you who wanted me to break up with him, I'm sorry to disappoint you but we are going to try and work through this. Apart from this issue he had been the best partner and I genuinely think that he had been manipulated by his family and my dad. Luke has promised to stand up to his family and go no contact with my dad.
I'm still living at my moms as I still need some space which I wont have if I move home. We are going to contact our wedding vendors and see what our options are next week. Luke is begging for a postponement rather than cancel it altogether. We may still break up as actions speak louder than words and I need to see if he can rebuild what we had and show me I can trust and depend on him.
Relevant Comments
OOP on if she is able to change her contact information and what about Luke

OOP: There's no point changing my number when I've done this before he always manages to get it again.
As for Luke - breaking up is not off the table. I'm giving him a chance to show me he means what he says. I always thought I had a decent relationship with Luke’s family, but clearly not. I'm not asking him to go NC with them thats for him to decide. I'm certainly going to distance myself from them and any further incidents no contact.
As for any future children if we are still together I won't be trusting them with my children at all

 
Update #4: May 4, 2024
Hi everyone I did not plan to make another update at all but I'm still getting messages for an update and thought I would let you know the recent developments.
Firstly I have cancelled the wedding I was able to get some partial refunds but have lost some money. Luke begged me not to cancel the wedding but there was no way I could marry him after what he did.
I was set on giving him a 2nd chance and he promised me he would go low contact and stand up to his parents and issue an ultimatum that we would not tolerate any contact with my dad and Jane. Basically he would tell them we would not attend any event or party if they were invited and we would not tolerate any attempt to force contact or relationship with my dad.
He met with them to explain this to them. When he came back from this meeting he was quite irritable with me and appeared to have had a change of heart to summarize it - he was trying to convince me his family only meant well and that he can't go low contact with his family because he loves them and he can't dictate their friendships. He then tried to convince me it won't be an issue in the future and his father would speak to my dad and tell him to be on his best behaviour in my presence.
As soon as I heard this people's comments went through my head and the main one being if we had children he would take them to his family where my dad and Jane would be and I would have no control over this. At that moment
I realised I couldn't trust Luke and never would be able to.
I broke up with him, he is not taking it well and keeps begging me to take him back and that he would go no contact with his family. His family and friends are trying to convince me on his behalf not to end our relationship. He has made his choice and proven to me he is spineless. I don't need him in my life.
In regards to my dad I'm looking into getting a restraining order given what happened in the restaurant I might be able to but i dont know yet a friend of mine is helping me look into this.
My dad has kept a low profile since last week apart from a couple of attempts to apologize to me I havnt heard much from him. My sister still won't speak to him or Jane. Unlike me my sister is highly confrontational and has blasted him and Jane on social media with what happened at the restaurant and things that have happened in the past which I didn't know about.
My sister and Jane had a very public screaming match when she had seen them in town due to my sisters posts and demanding to take them down it ended up with Jane assaulting my sister. My dad apparently sided with Jane in this. My sister now hates Jane and refuses to speak to our dad who is also trying to contact her.
My dad and Jane’s reputation seems to have taken a hit and between the incident in the restaurant and my sisters fight with Jane and het numerous Facebook posts about them, People are gossiping. This has worked well for me because some people have backed off which Im happy about unfortunately there are a few people still on his side including my ex's parents.
As for my half siblings there's not much of an update in regards to them.
I've found a therapist however there is a bit of a waiting list before I can start my therapy. I'm still living with my mom who is completely on my side and I have found a kitten and pick her up next week.

 

----NEW UPDATE----

Update #5: May 19, 2024 (2 weeks later)
Hi everyone thought I would give you an update as to what's been happening the last couple of weeks for those of you who are still interested.
Firstly I'm still at my moms and I got my little kitten. I've named her sascha and she is the sweetest thing but very energetic. For those of you asking for pictures I'll try, but she refuses to stay still long enough to get a one that's not blurred. I love her already. My mom continues to be my rock. IM still waiting for therapy but am finding reddit useful and therapeutic and the support I've received from most of the people on here has been great and helped me see things more clearly so a big thankyou to everyone.
As for my ex now that we've broken up I feel lighter and free and being away from him has made me see all the red flags that I was blind to in our relationship and feel like I've dodged a bullet. Luke (using real names because my posts were discovered) is not taking the breakup well and has taken over from my father constantly bothering me.
If you read this Luke we are DONE and I'm not changing my mind so stop calling me, stop coming to the house and stop sending me flowers! I'm moving on so you should too.
My sister Emma is still firmly on my side and has washed her hands of Jane (stepmonster) and they are not on speaking terms after my sister told everyone about Janes affairs.
Jane is still trying to save face saying my sister is lying and telling everyone she can how we are just the worst and that we have treated her terrible over the years and trying to ruin her marriage. Don't think anyone is buying what she is saying. She has sent abusive messages to me and my sister and when we've bumped into her she's been screaming at us and threatening us. My sisters car had been keyed and my store windows were smashed. We can't prove its her unfortunately but she is the most likely culprit.
My half siblings are definitely my dads children they tested then years ago when she was a baby. From what I've heard they're not speaking to Jane at all.
As for my dad he seems to have grown a spine and has kicked out Jane she is now living with her parents. From what I've heard he's thinking about divorce. I havnt had any contact with my dad except for a text saying he was sorry for everything. As for getting a restraining order I'm more concerned about getting one against Jane at the moment.
Relevant Comments
OOP on if she has cameras at her place

OOP: I have cameras but you can't see if it her because of the angle I'm getting more fitted for better coverage

OOP on if she has been speaking to her half siblings (father’s side) and how their relationships are with Jane now that the truth got out. And how the family is reacting

OOP: I'm not speaking to my dad or Jane or my half siblings. I've gotten this info from a cousin on my dad's side so not sure if it's true or if there is more to this. + The only people who knew were my grandparents and sister. Unfortunately when Jane and my sister fell out my sister decided to expose her on social media to everyone. My half siblings knew about her recent affair but not the one years ago.
As for my dad I don't know and I'm not going to reach out to ask

OOP on if she will forgive her father and if he would get a second chance without Jane present

OOP: Yep- hes destroyed my relationship, his and janes relationship with Emma and by sounds of it his own relationship. All because he couldn't respect my boundaries
No the damage is already done. He had his chance to fix things with me and he blew it. I just want to be left alone and get on with my life

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Reasonable_Wing_4159
Originally posted to AITAH
AITAH for not wanting to have my step kids at my honeymoon
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Triggers Warnings: manipulation, death of a parent, entitlement, exploitation, verbal and emotional abuse, possibly parental alienation
Original Post May 17, 2024
I ( F,28) have been in a relationship with my fiancé , Tyler (M, 42) for the last 4 years. He has 2 kids from previous marriage (Kids are 8.5 year old boy and 11 year old girl). His wife passed way when his youngest was 1 year old. He met me 3 years later. His kids are wonderful and lovely and we get along great. We live together. I do everything for them since Tyler works long hours. They call me mom but they are aware who their real mom is. We have her pictures in their rooms , and Tyler talks about her to them all the time.
We are planning our wedding. My father offered his condo in Hawaii to us so we can enjoy our honeymoon there. It was a very kind and generous offer. When I told Tyler he was so grateful. Then he said “I bet kids will have a blast”. I looked at him in disbelief and said “kids?! “He said yes! I said that’s our honeymoon! I don’t wanna be a mom on my honeymoon. We can go on plenty of family trips later but this is our honeymoon! He said “I was honest with you from day one! I told you I’m a package deal! You can’t just choose me not my kids”. I told him I understand but can they stay with your mom for one week? Just for our honeymoon. He got very frustrated and said he couldn’t believe how insensitive and selfish I was being. AITAH to expect to have a child free honeymoon?
Added later:
Ok I said I won’t reply because I was emotional. I went for a long bath (I’m off today). I’m better now
1 - I was in to him. I pursued him. I thought he was younger. He told me about his real age, his kids, his late wife from the first moment. He even said he would understand if I say no. I loved him. I loved how honest, kind caring he was.
2 - do I feel loved after giving him bj? Yes I do. He has higher sex drive. So I just give him oral when he wants sex. Yes he kisses me everytime afterwards. He cuddles until we go to sleep. I take care of myself later (mostly during my morning showers). No!! He never pulled his gun at me! He is not a violent man. Lately we have had more quickies mostly because I’m very tired but I don’t like to turn him down.
3 - we don’t have alone time or date nights. True. But it doesn’t mean he doesn’t say he loves me or he is not affectionate.
4 - I decided to cancel everything. I don’t think he is ready and we need to a have serious talk. I also need to know if he even can have kids (or he had a vasectomy). Either way we are not ready to be married.
AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA
Relevant Comments
SweetSerenityxx: RUN! It is one thing to neglect your kids and another to not realize that every environment is not appropriate for children to be involved. You will have further issues down the road regarding this, especially if you ever decide to have children with this man. He won't even hear you out and you should be cautious about being with someone who could automatically cast you as an evil stepparent because you have boundaries.

OOP: He knows I want to have kids eventually. He said he is not ready yet but he will be eventually. I do feel like a villain now because I want a week to ourselves

Cursd818: NTA
What's wrong with him? It is NOT a family vacation. It's a honeymoon. Having a honeymoon does not make you the evil stepmother. It's very concerning that that's where his mind immediately went.
Honestly, this is a red flag. You need to reevaluate. It sounds like you've bent over backwards to fit into this family - which is amazing - but ... are you sure this man wants you? Not just another parent to help him raise his children? The healthiest families have independent bonds with each member, and spend time one on one. Perhaps he's overreacting and he does value you individually as well, but it's not looking good.

OOP: He is a police officer so he has longer hours. I’m a nurse so I can set my own hours. I’m responsible for anything child care related. You are right. I wonder if he really wanted to be with me or he just wanted a mom for his kids? Sigh

Agile-Top7548: As a nurse, you have good income. Where does your money go? Things do not add up here.
You should date and be in a loving romantic relationship and do couple things, travel, etc. Even if you stay, what happens to your marriage once the kids leave, or will they be. Big red flag on the overnight stuff, too. Have you discussed this? No, because you have no say!
He works long hours, but not every day and all day. What if you wanted to go visit a friend for a weekend? What if you could not take off work for a sick day? Since age of 24 you've been doing this? Are you sure he isn't banging others? I'm just saying....
I'm sorry for the kids, but honestly, this sounds like a horrible set up. Thank him for being so obvious about the honeymoon.

OOP: I’m financially independent. I pay half of the rent and expenses of course since I moved in. Rest goes to my savings . I still have student loan to pay back too. I never visited a friend for a week . He did take the kids to see their grandparents ( their mom side ) for a week across the country . If I get sick usually his mom helps with a kid. If she is not available he takes the day off to help with the kids and help me . Once the kids leave ? Gosh I hope I would having my own kids by then…

 
Update May 17, 2024
My post : https://www.reddit.com/AITAH/s/eo7skZ6Sqh
Thank you very much for all the private messages and comments. I’m so glad I posted here.
So many of you suspected that he has had vasectomy. Well, I decided to have a serious discussion with him about everything last night. He said he has never cheated on me and he never will. I asked him if he had vasectomy and ffs just tell me. He didn’t even deny it. He said yea but you gotta understand I lost my wife when my youngest was an infant. It was such a traumatic time for me. I wanted to make sure I’ll never go through it again.
I started crying! I asked him how could he lie to me all these years? He didn’t even feel bad! He said “well you never asked! You asked now and I told you! Plus what’s the big deal? I have frozen sperm in the clinic and it’s a reversible procedure”. I was floored! You saw me taking pills yet you didn’t mention? He said “well, I thought you are taking pills because you have heavy period”. I couldn’t believe this man still blames me when he was the one lying in my face! I told him how unhappy I am, how burnt out I am and he uses his work hours so he can dump the responsibilities on me and I don’t even feel loved anymore. I gave him his ring back and told him I was done. He was shocked.
At first he thought I was kidding then he saw me packing my clothes at 11 pm so he started arguing that I should just wait a little longer so by December he will know about his job. After that we will go to a fertility clinic and “you will have your stupid baby”. Then he started guilt tripping me. Saying stuff like his kids have already been traumatized once how could I be so selfish and leave them. I didn’t even bother answering.
I left for my parent’s place. He has been begging and saying he will change, he will be more involved, and asking me to come back (“you are their mom! Come back! We miss you “)🙄. I’m mentally exhausted. I can’t believe I have been so stupid. I’m gonna start finding a place for myself near my work. Thank you.
Relevant Comments
Cursd818: Ah, the love bombing begins. The endless promises to change, how much he and the kids are missing you, how cruel you're being to them by leaving. He's going to do everything he can, say whatever he thinks will work, to bully you into going back. Leaving was the right thing to do, but staying away is going to be much, much harder. Tell your parents and your friends exactly why you've left and don't want to go back, so they can support you in staying away from him. Don't be silent about this or feel ashamed. You deserve much better than this, and I hope you get it.

OOP: That’s exactly what he is doing. My parents think I overreacted and I should give him another chance. My parents love him and his kids. They keep saying what a nice guy he is. I can’t believe they are taking his side 🤦‍♀️ I need to find my own place asap

OOP on her mother’s reaction to her breakup with her fiancé

OOP: “But you are not getting younger! He is a good guy who has been through a lot. You will have a baby if you be patient and you know he is a great dad! Those kids need you. You really wanna start over at your age?”🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ mom I’m 28 not 88 ffs! I’m so glad I’m working today or I would lose it

OOP on her ex’s 2 children and their relationships altogether

OOP: I didn’t make them calling me a mom! It was their choice .They know I’m not their mom. They have many pictures of their mom in their room. Their dad talks about their mom all the time ( even stuff like “ you are so smart ! Just like your mom or you are gorgeous just like your mom was “. I should have stayed with their lying dad then? What are you suggesting? Ask for custody of his kids? Don’t you think I’m sad and I’ll miss them?

 
My ex told lies to his kids about our break up - May 19, 2024
I left my ex because he was lying to me and treating me like garbage as I mentioned in another post.
We were together for 4 years and i did everything for his two kids (their bio mom passed away 7 years ago). I went back to pack my stuff and his daughter said her dad told her that I left because I couldn’t stand them anymore and he chose them over me. I was floored.
I asked my ex and he (in front of the kids) said that he was just telling them the truth. He said you wanted a baby because my kids were too much for you, you hated my kids, remember you even wanted to exclude them from our trip (he meant honeymoon!!)
He wanted to bring his kids to our freaking honeymoon ffs)? I told the kids that’s not true and tried to explain but both kids cried and went to their rooms. My ex screamed HAPPY NOW?! GTFO of my house. I know I shouldn’t care but after 4 years of doing everything for them, this is what I get? I’m so mad at him
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

Obviously this is a kind of nonissue but does anyone just get weirded out if you have an IUD with no more period? I got one in December and got like dark brown spotting for 3-5 days every now and then like maybe every 6 weeks or so between then and march which is typical bc it was new and now I dont get one at all anymore and its so nice truly (used to get cramps and heavier clotting periods in the past which was a pain in the ass). I now get like some mild PMS ish symptoms and some cramps maybe the lightest dark brown tinged discharge one day. Bc im SO used to bleeding (had one since age 12 and now am 28!) I get scared I’m knocked up every no and then haha. I guess theres no real need to pee on a stick and I know it’s more risky to get pregnant on it bc ectopic etc etc. perhaps this anxiety will pass but it is nice t not have a full on period anymore.

Here is the first time I began to question if I have IBS/stomach issues. Set the scene, 8th grade, anual school memorial day assembly, 400+people in attendance. I had woke up early that morning with some mild pain and bloating. I brushed it off and headed off to school, forgetting to take my anxiety medicine. Though the day, I got more and more nervous because I was doing the majority of the presentation. Anxiety really ramps up my stomach issues. By the time we were doing my final rehearsal, I had a huge stomachache and my tummy was making a weird gurgling sound. Presentation comes, I go on a spiel about the American flag, history of Memorial Day, and white table ceremony. Killed it, the final thing I needed to do was lead us in the minute of silence. I put the microphone pressed on my side. About 10 seconds in, I started having really bad pain in my lower belly. 20 seconds in my stomach made the loudest sound ever, AND THE MICROPHONE PICKED IT UP!!! The room erupted in very quiet laughter. The minute ended and the principal took forever for closing remarks. At this point my stomach hurted sooooooooooooo bad and I really needed to use the restroom. The principal wanted to take a photo with us and the veterans in attendance. I pushed through it and then one of the retired marines came up to me and started talking for like five minutes before my math teacher made me leave. He finally let me use the restroom and I was in their fo like 10 minutes. While suffering I thought this couldnot be normal.
People taunted me for weeks. I ended up having many similar problems and eventually I got help.