Love my job quoates

Short version: how long is CIS training and what's it look like?
June 3rd is my first day in the BC public service, and I am so stoked. I'm going to be working as a CIS out of a DTES office. I've worked around there and in other high-needs areas for years, and my current job is in homelessness outreach, so I have a pretty good sense of what I'm getting into vis-à-vis the clientele, and it's exactly what I want to be doing. Seriously, being kind of a bureaucrat plus working directly with community is an appealing combo I wasn't really excepting to be available.
Where I work now (until the end of the week) we have a CIS visit twice a week (she's amazing), and we've chatted a bit about what it's going to look like, but I'm wondering if any of y'all can elucidate the training/onboarding process a bit. I know I'll find out soon enough, but I'm just so excited I'd love if anyone would like to share.
I think I heard that the training is 3 months long, which is just wild and wonderful. Is that all time in a classroom or similar setting? Should I expect 3 months straight of content, almost like a college semester, where I'll need to get caught up if I miss a day? Where's the training happen? My home office will be in the DTES, but I'm not sure if that's where training will be. Is there some kind of exam(s) to assess if me and my peers are taking in the info sufficiently?
Is there juicy tidbits you want to share that I haven't asked about. Thanks!

Today my (24f) boyfriend (24m) and I were invited out with his family at this fancy bar place (I never drink alcohol, I don’t know the proper term for this place lol). I was really excited because I was actually feeling good today! 90% of the time I wouldn’t be feeling well enough to go with.
We were actually having a really good time, except his grandma was drinking quite a lot. She was talking to my boyfriend about his job and quite aggressively telling him to be grateful for whatever hours he can get, since he was stressed about not being able to work on Memorial Day.
I’m a very quiet person and really don’t talk much, I dont know his grandmother that well so I was just observing and chilling with my mocktail. She suddenly whips her gaze to lock eyes with me and gets her pointer finger out. She exclaims to me “And YOU need to get a job! You can’t rely on him to pay for everything!” (He definitely doesn’t anyway)
This alone made me immediately start to shake uncontrollably. I was shocked and embarrassed. It was like my own brain had been personified, a real person in the real world. And worse, it’s a woman who I really want to like me. I tried to remain cool. I leaned in toward her, locked my hands in front of me, keeping the gaze and said flatly “I have medical issues I am working through. I cannot work right now.”
It was like I had just said “shut up old lady, you’ll never understand how bad I have it!” because she said to me “sure you can work at least part time! I have arthritis and blah blah blah and I own this business and do such and such. You can definitely work!” She kept going on for a long time but I honestly zoned out pretty quickly. I’ve heard this before from women her age, I know the whole speech. I walked out without saying another word. Then I collapsed on the steps in front of the building and cried. That was like my worst case scenario in my head.
My boyfriend let her finish her spiel before also quietly walking out, but when he saw that I was crying he marched back in there and told her how out of line she was. He told her that she doesn’t live with the conditions I do and she will never understand what that’s like.
I love him so much for standing up for me. While most people don’t outright get mean with me, most at least don’t take me seriously at all. But he does, AND he sticks up for me too.
Tbh, I’m only diagnosed with narcolepsy and migraine. But my migraines are almost every day the past few months and most of the time just thinking is like running through knee high mud. Something feels very very wrong. But abuela was basically my own negative self-talk sitting right in front of me, and I don’t think this is going to leave my mind for a long while.
TLDR Boyfriends abuela told me I need to work instead of relying on boyfriend for “everything”. When informed I have medical issues she took it as a challenge telling me if she can work and own a business at her age with all of her conditions then I definitely can too. I walked out and cried. I already hate myself enough for being useless, this was mortifying.

People are already being stupid because it’s not one but both major school districts in my area having high school graduation.
I’m trying to juggle getting bays done and photo since my CSA doesn’t know anything. I’m heading to the stockroom, and a door dasher shoves his phone right into my face asking where a product was and I tell him the aisle number and go on my way to do an IC3 for the front.
I hear the lovely voice of Walgreens telling me that someone needs the pravagen unlocked. I go to unlocked it and lo and behold it’s the same doordasher, shoving his phone in my face for the exact same product. I tell him again that it’s in said aisle and next to the Vicks products and to go look as I was yet again being called away. As I leave, I get told by him that I should clock out and go home if I didn’t want to my job. Like you want me to close the store so your dumbass can’t do your job, because that’ll what happen if I do.

Let's first get this part out of the way: I'm 29 years old (30 in July), and in a long term relationship that has been fizzled out for a long time. I've done my part in trying to revive it, but it takes two.
So here I am looking for a connection ☺️
Consistent communication is very important to me (but I'm also aware that we have jobs and can't message at certain times lol), but having effort in our communication means a lot.
I'd love to feel that spark again, those butterflies in my stomach when we flirt and make eachother smile at our phones. The excitement of seeing a notification from you. Talking about everything from our days, to likes and dislikes, hopes, fears, whay makes you you. Really getting to know eachother ☺️
Physically I'm 5'1", average body, dark hair and eyes and a pretty face. Tan skin, lots of tattoos.
I'd describe my personality as being kind, friendly, thoughtful.
Looking for someone within the age range of 29-35, someone close in age. Physically attractive (I'd like to be able to exchange a selfie with you sooner rather than later to see if we have a mutual attraction), and mentally/emotionally mature.
If this sounds good to you, send me a chat ☺️
(Ignore the flair, had to choose one lol)

I seriously need to work on my work ethic/self discipline. Backstory of me: I’m a 24f, highly successful for my age job wise (RN), lifelong anxiety problems, and one parent who didn’t discipline at all, and one who went past extreme ways of doing things.
Work has never been very “kind” to me so to say. My first ever job I got 3rd degree burns on my foot- too severe of anxiety to go back to that job. My second job I got fired from because I couldn’t go to a staff meeting because it was my highschool grad day. My third job- I got fired because I “didn’t look happy enough”. I then became a care aid. I loved it so much I became a nurse.
I don’t remember work ethic being a problem until about 18 or 19. I moved out at 18 so I knew I had to work for what I wanted. But my issue is simply put. I don’t want to work. Once that thought is in my mind, I CANT GET RID OF IT. If I do push through and go to work- I’m a literal anxiety zombie mess. I can’t focus, I can’t concentrate, I can’t communicate properly, and something always goes wrong. The last time I did make myself go to work after thinking about how much I don’t want to go for the past however many hours- I made such a medication error it was actually dangerous. Now I know I obviously can’t work when my brain is all combobulated like that.
But now, it’s happening too often. I’m calling in sick too much and even I notice it. The manager hasn’t said anything yet but it’s only a matter of time (knock on wood). The anxiety rabbit hole is exhausting.
Now I know people are gonna go suggesting “change your mindset” but it’s not as simple as that. In order for me to change my mindset on anything I need a good session of EMDR lol (but not funny??).
So tell me. OTHER THAN changing my mindset AND seeing a therapist (I do) how do I force myself to do things I don’t want to?

gosh im so tired of the shame of being unemployed! relatives are coming to me asking what’s wrong or if i have any leads every day. i hear and take note of ALL of their suggestions. i may not get to do every single thing (ie go to X job fair, contact this job agency, check this company’s career page etc), but i am spending days just researching openings and applying. i am constantly checking my inbox and even looking up job market statistics, and i still don’t know how to answer this question without bursting at the seams.
what are yall telling folks when they want to “help you” (especially boomers)? i’ve explained as politely as possible that asking me every day for updates and monitoring my behavior puts immensely more pressure on me, but they swear it’s out of love. i know it’s giving ~go to therapy~ but im so broke and could really use the advice :(

Hi there! Looking to relocate to Washington this upcoming summer and my job will be in Bellevue. I'm from Georgia and will have a car. I love the Fremont / Volunteer Park area but I'm thinking living in Bellevue would just be more convenient and save me lots of commute time? Even though rental prices are higher? I'm also not sure how much I would be spending on tolls if I had to commute 5 days a week. I'm thinking the cost of living in Bellevue would even out vs. live in Seattle and paying for tolls + gas and + traffic ?
Would love any advice on which areas of Bellevue to live in. Would love to walk around a park after work and be able to see waters :) Thank you!

I've had this job for a bit over two years now, but even before that I've been passively, non-confrontationally misanthropic. I just kind of accepted that I don't like people; not in angsty, edgy teenager sense born of some singular act of bullying, or anything so dramatic. I like/love my friends and family, and have the capacity for empathy, and am perfectly capable of functioning in society. But at the same time I don't feel any kind of love or goodwill for people "conceptually", if that makes sense.
The primary reason for this has - over the last few years in this job - been consistently affirmed; my "misanthropy" has deepened. That reason being people just having an inherent desire to avoid accountability, and to just want, and want, and want. Age, race, sex, station, none of it matters. I work in health insurance. Obviously, people aren't going to be at the most rational and reasonable when money and their health are involved. But something everyone across the board has in common is a desire to shirk the consequences of their actions, and while I have no issue performing my job and abiding by the customer service policies therein, my "hate" for people just steadily grows.
About 70% of my calls have me thinking, "You agreed to the terms of your insurance contract. You chose a high-deductible plan. "You chose to seek an out of network provider. You chose to ignore the information provided to you regarding X or Y. Just because you want something doesn't mean you get to have it. You are not above the law, and neither are you above the policy you willfully agreed to." Any number of things which are either their willful choice or a choice made in willful ignorance, they will nonetheless seek to abandon accountability, or weasel their way out of responsibility. Old, young, rich, poor, white, black, you can hear the glee, the "can I get out of this?" simmering elation in their voices when you say, "Sure, I can take a look at the claim" knowing fully that they'll be responsible anyway; that they know they should be but think you're a magician who will wipe away it all and give some courtesy free-pass to the things they agreed to. And the anger, the spite that mounts in their voices when you tell them they can get what they want. The complete shift in personality. The feigned ignorance and subsequent rage when you subtly call them out on their performance. These last few months I've started to get a little schadenfreude out it, when dealing with these kinds of people. Before, I was apathetic; now, now I sometimes wake up thinking, "I hope I get to make someone feel despair for the choices they've made." that's not fucking normal, lmao.
I meet my metrics, I do my job, but at the end of each day I grow firmer in my belief that people are fundamentally not-good, because for me, to be "good" is to accept the consequences of one's actions, and I have yet to interact with a single person who is perfectly, completely fine with that. I'm no hypocrite, I've certainly felt the compulsion to. But working in healthcare and dealing with dozens of people from all manners and walks of life has turned my perspective considerably more sour. And I can confidently say I would not bat an eye if any of these people suffered as a result of their choices.
Sorry for the blogpost, lol.

I’m getting married in Sept and I have come to the conclusion I don’t want a bachelorette. Originally, I was thinking to do a spa day. My future MIL (who is very helpful and kind) had expressed to my MOH (sister 10 years older than myself) wanting to include her sisters and nieces (my fiancées aunts and cousins who I know fairly well) to come to the bach as well. My MOH has been asking me about guest list, dates I’m avail, etc about the the bachelorette but nothing set in stone yet. I’ve just started a new job and am stressed with that as well as already telling my new managers I need numerous days off for the multiple weddings I’m attending this summer as well as my own & honeymoon in sept. I’m also introverted and do not like being the center of attention, especially when alcohol is involved. I’ve come to the conclusion I do NOT want a bachelorette. I’d rather do small things with the people I love separately. To me, i wouldn’t be able to ‘let loose’ and fully enjoy what a bachelorette would be in a big group setting with my fiancées family, my two local friends, maybe my friends from out of state, and my immediate & extended family. I felt like this would get too out of control. I also feel like since I am having a bridal shower, that should serve the purpose of celebrating with family. I have my out of state friends coming for the bridal shower and was thinking of spending time with them after to break up their travel and spend time with them.
Upon telling my MOH this, she was very offended and upset that she was not able to celebrate with me and I believe took the idea of me spending time with my out of state friends after the shower as me planning my own bachelorette. The time I’m thinking of spending with out of state friends (that hasn’t been solidified yet) would basically be a big sleepover with some friends I haven’t seen for years. Having that be perceived as a planned bachelorette was not my intention and after explanation of my thought process, there’s still animosity. I truly think the whole situation was blown out of proportion and more communication is needed. However, I feel like I’m being punished for not conforming to peoples perceptions & to suck it up to make other people happy. Which I can do, but I’m also feeling strongly about this in particular since this is all surrounded regarding MY wedding and that it should be about my wishes. However, I don’t want to be a bridezilla. Am I in the wrong here? I’m just struggling with the hurtful words being exchanged regarding my idea of not wanting a bachelorette.

I’m facing a difficult decision and need some advice.
Since last August I have been working as an assistant language teacher (ALT) in Japan. This meant putting my career as a pilot on hold and is only intended as a short interlude in my life before I return to my previous career and doesn’t really benefit me professionally at all. I am really enjoying it; I love living here and my co-workers and my studentas are very kind and we get along really well.
Around January I agreed to stay a second year (starting in August, yes you have to make that decision in January). Since then I realised I would like to live here longer term in the future but that would require me going back to my home country for 4-5 years to gain more experience in my career before I would be eligible to be hired by a Japanese company as a foreigner. My previous career also strongly favours younger people (I am almost 30, and before I came to Japan I just got to the point of being eligible to apply for airline jobs but haven't had an airline job yet and they get harder to get the older you are) and requires you to remain current, so taking a year out is already a difficulty. Two years out especially at my age could significantly impact my future career (and that in turn could impact my ability to get a pilot job in Japan) but it's impossible to say how much of an impact it could have, possibly negligible, possibly a lot. Because of that, after a lot of thinking, I decided after all to only stay for one year. After telling my bosses this they informed me that they wouldn’t be able to get a replacement for me this year (the recruitment cycle has already passed) and so I would be leaving my school, teachers, and students without an ALT. Obviously an ALT is hardly a centrally important person so I’m sure they would manage however I feel absolutely terrible about letting down these people who have been so kind and caring and who I have a responsibility to. I can imagine one of the teachers in particular being very disappointed in me.
I’d absolutely love to stay another year, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed it and despite the fact that I plan to return to Japan longer term there are things about life here in rural Japan as an ALT that I will never get to experience again even if I came back to Japan again as a pilot, so I’m experiencing a real sense of loss. My parents, my father particularly, understands how I feel and acknowledges that I will be letting people down and that’s terrible, but says I need to focus on what’s best for my long term future. I understand that if my long term goal is to work in Japan as a pilot I should make the decision that benefits that and leave, but that feels like a sort of heartless decision.
A third option that would be possible would be to stay an extra seven months or so until the end of the current Japanese school year which might be a good compromise (see out my current students' year and not leave the school quite so high and dry).
If it were just between short term happiness (staying another year) and long term benefit (leaving this year, despite what I would be missing out on and the fact that I really enjoy it here) I think I would reluctantly take the second option (in fact I kind of already did that when I told my boss I’m considering leaving after this year). The added fact that they can’t get a replacement for me at short notice, and so I would be letting down and disappointing people who have been very supportive and who I have a responsibility to, really complicates things at least to me.
Any advice?

It's me again. I once wrote a famous post about how I make only 1.75$/hr working as an android developer because I am living in egypt and I also mentioned that this is somehow above average pay here too.
My problem is I love android too much and refused to learn anything beside it like flutter and I didn't like back or frontend development. I liked python tho.
And since I am broke I wanted anyway to make cash in dollars or euros, I looked into freelancing websites and all of them requires backend services and calling it an android project. Which is okay when you think about it but not helpful for you as android developer.
I am kinda stuck here, all jobs on LinkedIn are at least mid senior even if i know I can take the job. I tried talking to senior android developer in other countries maybe one could recommend me into a company.
I feel like I chose a path that got bricked completely. What would you do in my shoes?
I am currently learning design patterns and unit testing. Also Google adopted kmm which could overtake flutter since kotlin is way better than dart.

I turned 18 just a few minutes ago, and I'm thinking I really have no will to live
Ever since I was a child I wanted to off myself, but that was mostly because of bullying, a (very) likely anxiety disorder and thinking that it'd never get better
But even then, I had some hope that one day things would change. I wanted to be a polyglot by 18, but I never learned any languges other than the two I already knew by then. I wanted to be a great artist, but since my vision is always blurry and my hands shake so much I lost a lot of the skill I used to have. I wanted to go to college, now I'm going to a great college but fucking hate my major so much I cant even bring myself to study and even skip a bunch of my classes
Now that Im 18, the only thing I achieved is that I now have friends. I love them a lot and but it often feels so demanding that I prefer to be by myself. I dont know how to be sociable. I've never had anything romantic, or sexual, never had a first kiss. Even my friends who were in the same situation as me when I first met them, now have been on dates or are dating someone. And all of them are a little younger than me
When I was in school I could just focus on getting a C and move on. Now I try to focus on doing the bare minimum to pass my semester, but even that feels like too much. It's a lot more empty and uncertain than before. Plus, if I'm already hating my first semester, what will be of me when I get a shitty job?
I never feel like doing anything. I wish I'd just spend all day sleeping or playing games, but only to fill a void. Actually I wish I'd just be asleep all day, so I wouldnt exist. I do take antidepressants now, which help a little. Before them i'd spend all day in bed and barely eat
If i've always had OCD and have had depression since childhood, i dont think i'll ever be truly happy. These things are always in the back of my head stopping me from living my life
My life is meaningless, I'm just trying to take it until i fully lose hope and give up. Probably now that i'm an adult i'll try to make some money to buy cigarettes and drown out this sadness, even though I promised myself i'd never smoke since i know people who do and i''ve seen how destructive it is to them
I don't wanna live, i dont wanna do shit. I wish I could be happy but theres really no way i can do it. Congrats to me who's now 18, cant do anything useful, doesnt study, doest work, doesnt even help with home chores. I cant even feel like playing games, i dont want to do anything
My first step now that i'm an adult is to cry thinking about how i never wanted to be one. But now, other than knowing that adult life is shit because everyone always complains about it, my mind condemns me to always be useless and meaningless until i get hit by some car
I've taken a few different meds, vitamins, tried therapy. Only the meds helped me gain a bit of a will to live, but the side affects are always holding me back too

3 years ago I met a man on tinder who I crushed on. We first met at target, went to the movies & then hung out at my friends place for a couple hours or so.
(I was out of state to hangout with a friend planning to stay for a couple weeks or so)
But yeah I invited him after the movies with my friends permission of course because I was so happy around him. He was cute, funny & kind. We hit it off really nicely.
He lived around 40-50 minutes away from my friends but still made the time to hangout with me frequently. But he was so sweet, always getting me Starbucks. Making me lunch from scratch. Really affectionate & complimentary.
When I went back to my actual home we missed each other a lot, face timed all the time.
I’m from Maine, my friend & him lived in Colorado. He was living with his brother at the time but they got in a fight where he was kicked out making him homeless.
I had pity for him & since I missed him + had enough money to go back I did. We hung out frequently, almost daily. But one day my friend had to travel to a different state to visit her close friend because she was having a lot of struggle in her life. & apparently that meant I had to leave her house? I didn’t have enough money yet to actually travel back to my hometown (I work remote so I was going to make money to eventually travel back).
She asked where I’d stay which obviously implies she doesn’t want me to stay at her house or maybe her partner didn’t.
Either way that meant I was homeless with my boyfriend (we eventually made it official after a 3-4 weeks).
At this point we’ve been dating for maybe 2 or 3 months and it was June. We found an apartment to rent & naturally moved in together. One of the most exciting times of my life. After settling we went to a gym together & he convinced me to get a membership together. We worked out now and then together which was fun!
One day on the weekend he told me he was gonna work out with a friend. I thought it was off he didn’t invite me so asked if he planned on just them hanging out or could I come? He told me he was planning just them but I could come. Which I thought was super fucking weird but told myself I’m maybe being paranoid.
Anyway, he was a great partner but as time progressed I started to pick up narcissistic tendencies.
He’d randomly say the most outta pocket things such as “ I feel bad for you that your parents don’t seem to care about you, they never call” to which I explained my parents know I call them frequently & don’t need to. But he would say this frequently almost like he wanted a rise outta me bc wtf that’s hurtful? And when I mention it being hurtful tell me I’m taking things the wrong way or being really sensitive which only got me more pissed which made him pissed.
Or back handed compliment as “you’re so lucky you get to sit all day for your job”.
He was also a bit controlling. He worked night shifts and if he called me to where I didn’t answer his first call he would scream at me such as “ why didn’t you answer??? You trying to ignore me?? That’s actually so rude and messed up. What are you doing?” He reeked insecurity.
And when I even mentioned visiting my family again he seemed upset at the idea of me going to visit them without him.
Anyway, this is a couple examples out of 100. I’m trying not to make this a novel.
Fast foward 3 months we were drinking a ton with the neighbors. We drank out in the back of our shared yard together. He asked me to charge his phone. He always asked me to do things for him like that which is fine whatever. But I thought to look thru his phone. Had a lucky guess with his passcode found out it was his PIN number lol.
Anyway, looked through his snap only to find that he cheated on me 2-4 times with his friend. The one he worked out with and he did during his night shifts. Broke my heart. I didn’t mention anything to him. The next day I told his sister that I’m moving back to my home town because of this while he was at work. She told him. He called me. Begging me not to go. Insisting he’ll go to therapy, he’ll talk to my parents, that he’s sorry. That it’s a dumb decision.
I asked him why to which he gave reasonings but he lied somewhat about the story. Cheating part didn’t hurt me, planning on not telling me hurt me. I caved in because his tears seemed to be real and he was in a state of severe depression for like a month. In any instance it’s hard for me not to have empathy for someone who’s sad. But I was too.
I found out he was subscribed to some of people too & watched porn!! Which honestly porn I wouldn’t care about if in the beginning of our relationship he didn’t tell me it was a deal breaker because it affected his dad horribly. And as for or paying to see someone nude in a relationship? Gross.
Fast foward a few months we’re still together but the relationship doesn’t feel the same as it used to. When we started dating he was the ONLY person I found attractive. But after finding out he did why should my eyes only be on him if he’s had eyes on others? Anyway I missed my family so much and friends. I couldn’t stand being with only him. I let him know that I need to visit my family, still he was scared of me being alone without him. So I told him well I’m either visiting them or you’re moving with me there. Couple months pass by he caved in on moving there with me. Which is obviously a huge decision to make leaving his good job and family. Surely he loves me and I convinced myself everything would be okay.
I don’t believe he’s ever cheated again. He’s grown so much mentally & emotionally even if he has bipolar.
Does a much better job at managing & discussing his emotions & thoughts. We’ve lived in Maine together for around 2 years. Which means it’s almost been 2 years 4 months since I found out he cheated on me at one point.
Every dang day I have anxiety about it. I just want to heal, man. I can’t stop thinking about missed opportunities of dates I could’ve had. People I didn’t give a chance to. And I can’t stop thinking what if he does it again when we’re 30? I wasted a decade of my life for nothing?
But thing is all his belongings are in my state. We’re not rich, moving is hard. He doesn’t want to ever let me go either. Plus I’ve grown attachment to his dogs which feel like mine at this point😭. One of his dogs comes to me every night as soon as I lay down just to cuddle me. Plus my partner provides so much for me financially and we have such a fun time being in each others presence. Not only does he work around 10-12 hours a day 5 days a week. He also usually cooks dinners for me as well.
I’m not asking for tips on how to leave. There’s no escape for me at this point. I’m depressed without him, I’m depressed with him. Some days are good but for the most part I live life in constant anxiety of being hurt again. I just want to know about others experience if they’ve dealt a similar situation. Does it get better?
I might’ve left some details out so if you have any questions just ask.

I have been married for 4 years. I resent my husband so much. In the 4 years we have been married not once has he ever given me any word of affirmation nor really initiated sex or even tried at it. When he is done we are done. He also doesn’t let me help myself. I have never been in debt in my life other than a car loan and now I’m in debt up to my eyeballs. I am currently not working and he will not use any money we have (i don’t have access to it) to fix my car and will now lose a job i love. I have become so bitter over the years. I now have low self esteem and just want to fall asleep and never wake up. He says i am mean but i was not always mean… i cried to him for the first two years communicating everything i need and now im just bitter and resentful. I had to put a $50k loan on my house i have lived in for 10 years now and was a gift to me all because he can not stop spending money on credit cards and paying minimum. I can not kick him out of the house but he also won’t leave or try to do better. I just need a fucking hug. I never want to get married again. Before you ask~ No i don’t have any family or friends i can go to. My best friend lives out of state and i have no car to get there or access to money. ~ i am looking for someone who can relate or just maybe a friend. I just feel so incredibly alone.

Hello everyone. My boyfriend (M23) and I (F20) have been together for over 2 years. He is my first serious boyfriend, and he treats me so well. He has so many great qualities, and he is my exact type. We moved in together one year ago, and it’s been going well. We live in a very expensive area, which we are able to afford due to his well-paying job. He got me out of a bad situation with my family, where I wasn’t being fed properly and was emotionally abused daily. I have a better relationship with my parents now that I am out of that house, but I still need distance from them. My dad and I used to be extremely close, but now we rarely talk to one another. My mom and I talk weekly, so I’m glad I have that with her. My boyfriend has an amazing family. They are the family that I wish I was a part of while growing up. His parents are so sweet and supportive of us. His mom and I are like best friends, and I love talking to her. His dad is so helpful and always gives me good life advice.
My boyfriend introduced his uncle to me when we were one year into dating. I will call him Ned. I remember the first time I met Ned. I came over to say hello, and we made eye contact, and my heart was racing. I thought he was one of the most handsome men I had ever seen in my life. He and my boyfriend look so much alike. Ned has such a confident and attractive demeanor. He has a high-paying job and loves traveling and doing adventurous things. He has always been friendly to me, greeting me with hugs. He calls me cute and was making lots of eye contact the first time we met. Flash forward to a year later, and my boyfriend and I decided to move in together, and the area we live in is about an hour's drive away from Ned and his family. So when my boyfriend and I drove down with all our belongings in our cars, Ned offered for us to spend the weekend at his house and for me to meet his family. They live in a mansion and are very well off.
Ned has a pretty and cool wife, whom I believe is in her 30s, who is hardworking and has an amazing business. He also has two beautiful children under the age of ten that I adore. I hit it off with his family; they immediately reminded me of the family I want to have one day. The entire weekend, his uncle was making eye contact with me, calling me beautiful and cute. Flash forward to six months later. Ned visits my boyfriend and I at our place, where my boyfriend and I smoke with him and just relax and banter with one another. Ned kept going off about how much my boyfriend’s family loves me and how beautiful I am. Ned also brought up how big his thing is compared to my boyfriend, to which I gasped and looked over at my boyfriend, who was dying of laughter.
Flash forward to six months later. My boyfriend's entire family comes over to Ned’s house to have a boat day. Everyone was there except Ned's wife, and the entire time he was touching me by the shoulder and hand again, giving me alcohol, making lots of eye contact, and I even caught him looking at me, to which he looked away. He always comes up to me to start a conversation and get to know me better. He hands me glasses filled to the brim with wine and touches my hand so caressingly. I don’t think much of it, and while this happens, The morning of the boat ride, we get on the boat, and Ned introduces me to friends of his and once again gives me alcohol. My boyfriend is very close with his uncle, and they get along so well. Ned made a joke about how many fingers it takes to get inside a woman, to which my boyfriend just laughed.
I’m playing with his kids the entire time, and Ned comments that I would be an amazing mom and that I am so good with them. He took lots of pictures of me and the kids, as well as pictures of me when I wasn't looking. We get back to the house to eat, and I catch him constantly staring at me once again. My boyfriend and I then leave. A week later, Ned texted my boyfriend to go have sex with me so that he could use our streaming service to watch a game since we were using it, and this caught me by surprise. We went to visit Ned and his family a week later to watch a game, and Ned’s wife was there. Whenever she is around, Ned is not flirtatious with me at all and tries to cut conversations short. He still makes lots of eye contact with me, asks for my age, and gives me plenty of alcohol.
I think Ned’s wife notices him staring at me and laughing with me, to which she gives me dirty looks and makes rude remarks. I made an inside joke with my boyfriend, asking if he recognized some songs that were playing "in the streets," to which Ned's wife replied, saying I was trying to act "ghetto" and giving me dirty looks, which made me pause and go silent the rest of the night. We finally leave, and my boyfriend tells me that Ned was married three times and that his wife is not affectionate towards him and the kids that much, and she can’t relax. Ever since then, I can’t stop thinking about Ned. He is on my mind 24/7. He is twice my age, and I dream about him constantly and have sexual thoughts about him. I would never hurt my boyfriend and his family, whom I adore. But I can’t get Ned out of my head. What do I do?
TL;DR: I love my boyfriend, but I cannot stop thinking about his uncle, and I have a massive crush on him. What do I do?

I hope to speak with corporate bankers as I have received a job offer and would love to break into corporate banking. I have a few questions because I want to ensure that this job offer will help me achieve my career goals.

Hi! So this is just taking a shot in the dark. I have worked at my Ulta for 1.5 years. Was hired as seasonal and quickly went to lead cashier. I like the part of being lead where I can kind of put out fires and well… be a leader lol. (This is my first job in a while since I had kids so I am kinda old here lol). My main issue with any sort of promotion is availability. I don’t have the hours available for full time because my husband is military and well my kids are still young and I have no friends or family for help. I guess I am kind of venting more so but I have also been toying with the idea of going to PBA. This is just a thought because I really am into the product aspect and I am super good with customers. Any thoughts on switching… but also any thoughts on possible areas of growth that do not require a full time position but I can still kind of lead. I just feel stuck and while I love working it’s just so frustrating to know that I could potentially move up but my hours get in the way.
So I guess sound off in the comments for solidarity or opinions or any advice (even if it’s moving to a new company lol)

Contractors showdown (my favorite)
https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/Crojeremy/4963431797114722/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Arcade legend (My 2nd favorite)
https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/Crojeremy/4290234067753903/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Asgards wrath 2
https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/Crojeremy/2603836099654226/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Beat saber (Everyone’s favorite)
https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/Crojeremy/2448060205267927/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/SaintViribus/2448060205267927/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Cook-Out (Great Multi player game)
https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/Crojeremy/2004774962957063/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Job simulator (Great introduction to vr)
https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/Crojeremy/3235570703151406/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Racket:nx (extremely underrated)
https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/Crojeremy/2255408847836468/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
STRIDE
https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/Crojeremy/4901911359882668/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Star Wars pinball (if you love pinball this is the app for you. and you don’t even need to like Star Wars to love this app)
https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/Crojeremy/3180994211970184/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
WMG (Walkabout mini golf)
https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/Crojeremy/2462678267173943/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Keep talking and nobody explodes ( great family game )
https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/SaintViribus/2010043642376517/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Tilt brush (painting game)
https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/SaintViribus/2322529091093901/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
HOPE YOU ENJOY

My girlfriend and I had been together for 3 years. It has been the happiest years of our lives.
Since she can remember being old enough to have such thoughts, she has wanted to move over seas to live. At least for a few years.
Her family life at home was not the best. In fact, when she finished her degree the only thing holding her back from moving to London was me.
I still remember how excited we were when she got accepted. It was awesome.
We had discussed me coming with a couple of times but I just couldn’t leave my current job. Not unless I could find a good job in London also.
Fast forward 6 month, the day she left was full of tears. Very hard time.
Fast forward another 6 months and she called me to say that she loves me so much but that she thinks she wants to stay for several years.
We were both sad at that thought. And conclusively she explained that in her gut feeling she is not sure if me waiting for her return is a good idea.
The idea of marriage has always scared her, especially watching her parents marriage fall apart growing up. Since she can never let herself think about it before getting emotionally worked up, she explained that she isn’t able to see a future with me.
This is a conversation she had had with me before but now it is a reason why she thinks we should seperate. This was a month ago now.
I guess I just wanted to hear similar experiences. Maybe long distance does work out?

The title is a little misleading, but I had to get those 30 characters!
I’m an actor moving to NYC this summer. I have a work permit visa and whatever job I get needs to be somehow related to my degree, which narrows down a lot my day job possibilities and of course, it’s rare for an actor to be constantly booked. There are however ways of “hacking” this situation and one of them is: if I am somehow entertaining an audience or performing, this is somehow relatable to my degree. And trust, I know how to entertain people. And I LOVE to perform.
I’m really into burlesque and I honestly would love to get into strip tease too because I find it fascinating. I don’t have the physique of a stereotypical gogoboy and honestly I don’t think I want to. I’m skinny and hairy, not conventionally attractive according to these standards, but I know how to be sexy af lol
My question is, are there any gay strip clubs in NYC that would take me or do they just work with hunks? I would be a great MC/host too I guess, but I’d hope that NYC, being a diverse city, would have something for the otter lovers lol

Hello everyone, I’m 23, backstory - I started a new role at a company recently and I love the values and ideals of this company.
They are big on customer service, cleanliness and creating a great experience for customers, this is something I genuinely enjoy and pride myself in doing.
They even have such high standards for cleanliness, with making coffee I feel my expertise as a barista has changed immensely since starting with them.
Here is the dilemma:
They are a new company and as such in the last few months hours have been very inconsistent.
Starting at 2 then 3, then 4, 6 and back to 3 shifts again per week - I lack confidence with them in the exact hours I expect weekly.
Because of this, I decided to apply for a new barista role at a different company. I interviewed and was given the role immediately.
My issue is this: this is a smaller mom and dad company and I realised at my trial coffee shift that they seem to have very low cleanliness level i.e wet clumped coffee grounds were all over the counter by the espresso machine.
They also re-made milk in the same jug as already steamed leftover milk.
This would never fly at my current job as everything is cleaned and fresh by barista’s very consistently.
The second thing is as it’s a very small company, I have a weird feeling it might get awkward working so closely to the owner.
My current job is a huge corporation, where we speak with managers directly instead. It’s a lot more chill.
The first job is great and amazing in skills and opportunities for growth, save the inconsistent hours.
This new job worries me with the management and the lack of cleanliness. I read a review by an ex employee who states the company is toxic and surfaces dirty i.e exactly what I said.
Clearly this is one person’s speak and my intuition vs a nice owner and great interview.
I’m unsure the next steps to take.
Ps: s I received my offer letter, where they asked for an email to e-transfer me salary.
This is strange as my current job asked for a blank cheque to get my bank direct deposit details and even uses a system that deposits pay every 12:00pm on bi-weekly Fridays.
They need a quick start and I am scared to give up my availability at a great, inconsistent company
for a new company with consistent hours but the environment might be physically unclean and awkward, with less chance to grow in skill as a Barista.

My boyfriend of 2 years has always been super clingy and always wanted to text or talk and hang out all day. I was happy I loved the attention and the energy and it's refreshing for a man to show he cares and wants to spend his time with me. A few months ago he started a new job and working on getting his GED for the first time in years. I am so proud of him for going back and he's been happy. Then he started joining a ton of extracurricular activities. They're offered at his school for free, which is great. But he's taking SO MANY. It's like 4-6 self help classes. Which again.. I applaud him for working on himself.
The thing is when all this began a few months ago he started letting all the attention and energy he gave me slide. Now I understand he's busy but there's little things that are red flags for me. His timing doesn't add up. Like today he got off work and had a free day so he said he slept all day. We FaceTimed for 15 minutes and then we hung up to get ready for bed. Then he texts saying he’s tired and falling asleep… After he slept all day. Which usually we will stay up and text for a bit. I feel like he will text or talk a little bit just to appease me and then when he’s done he just stops answering me and lies and says he’s asleep. We have phone sex less often. (Maybe once a week now) before it was several. He doesn't have patience with me. He's even called me names if we argued and he has never done this before. He has started to hang up on me. Pretty much his demeanor toward me has changed. I don't know if this is his selfish time in life and he just needs this for him and I should sit back and let him enjoy it or if he's doing something wrong.
Today when we FaceTimed before bed (I'm traveling for work) and he closed his eyes when he told me he loved me. I know these things may all seem so minor but I truly do not know. I've been cheated on and it never felt this way. This feels different. Am i overreacting or is something going on?