Hey everyone! It’s a pleasure to be here and I hope everyone is doing well. I currently live in Tennessee and I’m 25 years old. I’m about 5’10” and a very average size guy. As far as what I do for work, I’m a factory worker for Ford and I primarily specialize in assembling and testing parts for the Ford F-150. I’ve been there since October 2022 and I love it so far! I also have a bachelor’s degree in Information Technology.
In my free time I love to play video games, listen to music, read books, watch TV shoes and movies, hang out with family and friends, and travel occasionally. I’m a very laid back person and I enjoy the simple things in life the most! Growing up in a small town, I never had that many friends and so I kept to myself a lot and my hobbies and interests are generally ones that introverts find a lot of enjoyment in. Speaking of which, I’d definitely identify as an introvert.
Ever since I was young, my parents raised me in the church, took me there every Sunday and Wednesday night, my mom taught Sunday school class for the most part, and over the years I learned more and more about who God was, how He sent his son to die for mine and the entire world’s sins, and how the Holy Spirit can lead us and guide us closer to Him and His will for our lives. I was baptized in June of 2008 and it was easily the best decision of my entire life! Each day I learn more and more about how to become the type of Christian that God has called me to be. I’m very blessed in this life and I owe it all to Him!
The type of woman I’m searching for is someone who is gentle, patient, loving, tender-hearted, has a great sense of humor, knows what she wants in the future, and ultimately, loves God above all else. I’m looking for the woman God has chosen me to be with.
The age range I’m looking for is from 20-35. Somewhere around that vicinity.
I’m open to long-distance is things are going very smoothly between us and I’m also open to relocating in the future if we decide to do that! Feel free to leave a comment or reach out to me via a private message and I hope everyone has an awesome day :)

I (23F) have been dating 25M for 10 months now. I am so scared I am going to sabotage this relationship because of my insecurities. I am just comparing myself endlessly with his ex-gf and his ex-FWB.. There are multiple things that bother me, I''ll try to list them:
It’s almost like I want to make myself feel anxious and insecure. Information, pictures or texts that I've found through lurking (which I try to stop doing) hurts my feelings but have burned themselves into my head. (1) For example, the summer we started dating he was frequently liking his ex-FWB pictures on IG - some revealing, some not - last one he liked was from a couple of months back, a very revealing one where she had taken a picture from above, angle looking into her tanktop, her tongue was out, nipple piercings visable through her shirt, very suggestive. Him liking provocative pictures of a woman he used to have sex with makes me uncomfortable. He hasn't done it for months now, but I fear it could return around summer when she wears revealing outfits again.
(2) I've also recently realized in a group chat with his friends he added me to, you can look back at messages before you were in the GC. That led me to look way back and see some things from months before we started dating, that still bothers me. Messages about his ex-FWB, how hot she is, how hot it is that she is a masochist (I'm not one), etc. I even saw pictures he had shared in the GC of many, many nudes she had sent him and pictures he took while they were having sex, in many different positions (with her consent, she's into it). It bothers me it looks to be using the same BDSM equipment he uses on me, the same positions he likes me in, etc. It makes me paranoid he's thinking about her when he's having sex with me. From the pictures it was apparent she is more sexually confident than I am, which makes sense given she has a much bigger sexual history than I do, he only just took my virginity, but still, it makes me scared he wishes I was more like her. This thoughts show up in my head almost any time we do anything sexual together, it's horrible and obviously makes it very hard to be fully there and enjoy it
(3) I also saw a message he sent in the GC 8 days after him and I had met: “I asked \ex-fwb* if she wanted to fuck just now, she's online she’s ignoring me lol”.* This was 8 days after we met, 8 days after he sent a message to that same GC about how he met a cute girl and he thinks that she likes him (me). We weren't official, didn't become so until 5 days after he sent that ex-fwb message, but still, it kind of hurts he wishes to hook up with her once more even after we had met, we had had our first date at that point. Especially also because he has told me multiple times that having sex with her reassured him that sex just as a means to get off wasn't for him, and that it was the emotional intimacy that made it important to him, he said he didn’t even enjoy it, wasn’t even attracted to her body type, etc…. yet he wanted to do it again? I fear he lied to me.
(4) There were also some messages from the past about his ex. He send various different texts various different occasions about how he loves how extremely outgoing and sociable she is and that they can have such intelligent discussions. I feel like him and I never discuss things back and forth. I also am very, very much the opposite of "sociable", I am very quiet and subdued, I like to observe more than anything and talking to strangers makes me nervous. He also send a comment about how his ex, at the time when they were dating, had "perfect big boobs", which makes me insecure since mine are much more on the smaller side.
This is me being insecure. I am aware of that, fully. I want to fix it. I am in queue for therapy, but for now I’m doing my best with what I can do. It is absolutely exhausting, the way everything makes me second guess myself. I've never felt as insecure as I do now. I've considered breaking up multiple times, even though I love him and really can see myself having a family with him in the future, just because it is so draining and I feel much more insecure now than I ever did before we were dating. The little insecurity that I do show him willingly, he will go on to reassure me a ton.. he's very loving, supportive and reassuring that he loves me for how I am, he's called me more attractive, trustworthy, more compatible, etc, that any girl he had a relationship with before, so it's not as if he is trying to make me insecure or anything. It's all in my head. How do I improve from this? ANY advice appreciated x

First post
I made a post a while ago about my boyfriend who only likes one perfume of mine, Marc Jacobs - Daisy Love.
Thank you everyone for all the suggestions! I had them all written down, and was looking forward to scheduling a little perfume trip where we could explore our options. Unfortunately, I've been working a bunch, so we haven't been able to do so together.
But he was in France with his family, so I asked him to go to Sephora and smell some of the fragrances you guys suggested. They didn't have many of the brands that were suggested though :/
My bfs fragrance reviews
Narciso Rodriguez - For Her & For Her Musc Noir: "I couldn't smell anything to be honest, I even tried several sprays"(??). This was the first ones he smelled too, so he hadn't gone nose blind after an hour of sniffing fragrances or anything like that.
Marc Jacobs - Daisy Dream: He liked this one! But it wasn't a "love".
Marc Jacobs - Daisy Eau so Fresh: He did NOT like this one at all. Which is more than fine with me lol, since I share the same opinion.
Marc Jacobs - Daisy: "No."
Burberry - Her: I have this one already and I love it, he's not a fan. He thinks it's too sweet.
Gucci - Gucci Bloom: I didn't ask him to try this one because it's my mom's signature scent lol. Same thing with V&R flowerbomb.
I asked him to try a bunch of other fragrances as well, but none of them were winners.
Buuut! He actually found one that he loves!
My birthday was a few days ago, and I got a perfume from my boyfriend as a gift.
He got me YSL libre intense. I was grateful, but confused. How the hell did he know I wanted this one??
Turns out that he went to my Fragrantica page and looked at my wish list. I was impressed, a very smart move. I didn't even know he knew my Fragrantica username lol.
Then I wondered when he bought this, turns out he ordered it, blind buy style!
Now I was even more confused, how did he know which one to buy without being able to smell it? I definitely have fragrances on my wish list that I haven't even smelled myself lol, just going off reviews. The struggle of being a fraghead living in a small town.
He said that he went through the wish list, read the notes, reviews, etc. Being super thorough about it and everything.
Listen, that's so cute and I really appreciate it. But I couldn't help but to laugh. Who's this fragrance connoisseur?? Going through notes? He doesn't know anything about notes! Lol
He said "Well, it has lavender in it, I like lavender". Which is news to me.
I sprayed it, and he loved it! He keeps complimenting me every time I wear it, feels great to finally have another option that he loves other than Daisy Love.
Really surprised that Libre Intense is the perfume that he would fall in love with other than Miss Daisy Love. I kept looking for fragrances with similar notes, and he ended up loving one with no notes in common with Daisy Love.
Thank you everyone again for all the suggestions!

Her post: https://www.reddit.com/relationship_advice/s/ooTwyFNwWk She only showed me this a few days ago, but for the past couple of weeks my now ex gf has been curating the truth to extract as much validation as she can from this situation, and has prevented me from commenting or sharing my side.
She admits that I actually said - that I bought a house with us in mind. I did say that. When i first met her, I was moving away to LA. I had already lived in a home that was paid off for 12 years, but when i met her; i decided that maybe it's best and continue to build a life here, and should things work out, we could figure out a future together.
I had been looking at the market and one day, an amazing house came on the block, for 300k less than it was a months ago. I pounced and went to see it. That night i told her i saw a place, i even sent her the photos and said, i'm going to place an offer, which i did.
She seemed to love the place and see how much of an upgrade it would be from my current place - this is a 2M house, with 4 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms, 2 living rooms and most importantly, a garage as my cars kept getting stolen since i didn't have one at my current place.
There was never mention of us moving in together right away, at the time we were together for 6 months, wayyyy too soon. We weren't even saying "i love you yet" - and i did say that once actually, and she just didn't return it anyways.
That being said, since we spend 95%% of our time sleeping at my place when we see each other once a week, figure this would be good for us, and when it is time, we could move in together there and go from there.
She loved the place, from what she said, this was supposed to be a positive.
Now let's rewind though.
3 months into the relationship, she asked to borrow 4000$. I was not comfortable with it, but as usual, she made herself seem so much in need, that I couldn't say no and just break up with her there, but now I realize i should have. She guilted me sayinf that couples have to work together and be there for each other and all that jazz.
The fact is, within those first 3 months, i had brought her to LA while i had to be there on business and the total cost of the week that she was there was around 3K. Then, over xmas, we went to another city, another 2-3K, as well as a punta cana vacation for 7K. So after all that is when she decided to ask me, and you don't need to be a genius to realize thst she chose me because clearly, she pinned me as having the money to.
Had this been my wife or long term gf, this wouldn't of been an issue, but 3 months in - this was a big flag and i talked to her about it. As usual, and as a pattern throughout this relationship, she would get extremely angry, lose her cool and make me feel bad for "questioning her character".
So, fast forward to me actually moving into this house over a 3 week period. She helped none whatsoever, never offered and my own family, friends, and people who were working at the house asked me about it apl the time. Oh she has school, oh she texts me though and so on. Completely MIA until of course friday or saturday night where she wanted to go for dinners or go to shows - that we did, of course.
One day, once her exams had tailed down and she told me she was waking up early to write a photo, i saw that she posted a sunshine kissed selfie saying: yoga! Meal prep! Coffee! Sunshine!
And i wrote her privately: " you know, i feel you could have at least offered to help in some way today". Again, she loses it, tells me : " you know you don't have to tell me something just because it bothers you" and then eventually she says, and i will never forget this ever : " don't you think you're expecting a little much of me for 7/8 months of dating"?
I was shocked. For some reason, pressuring your bf for a 4000$ loan 3 months in, but offering help in any way over a 3 week period is too much.
I called it off, decided i don't need her and this relationship wouldn't work with this set of values we don't share.
A couple of days later, after trying whatever she could to flip this whole fight on me, constantly chaging the goal post as a pattern i had identified and made her aware of repeatedly over those 7/8 months, she eventually showed up unannounced, apologizing profusely, and apparently seeming to genuinely recognize that it wasn't right, and she could have offered.
I took some of the responsibility once she did, and said that maybe, i could have been more direct as to when and how.
We resolved, we started to laugh again, this was a fight that we would "learn from" we both said.
Well, last week we disagreed for another simple issue, and she blew up as she does, yelling, calling my life chaotic, calling me eveything she can think of, and then says she resents me for wanting her to help with the house when she had exams!
Basically she took back the apology fully and stormed out of the house, i did not chase her. I did not text her, and i did not want to negotiate at all anymore.
The next morning she said she acted like that because i told her she was fucked. Tbh, i don't remember saying that, but i probably did as she was having a massive blow up.
I apologized for saying that she is fucked because afterall, whatever i do is in my control and tried my very best to get her to see that blowing up like that, is her behavior to be accountable for.
That's when she shared the original thread... again - no words, shocked that for a couple of weeks in the background she had been farming all these comments about me, sharing our personal stuff and curating it in a way to make herself look like, you guessed it, a "victim" whose boyfriend "bought her a house"?
We met off hinge. She asked to borrow 3K from me 3 months in, and I told her since then that it just didn't look good at all, and I'd hate to have something like that i couldn't even share with my friends / family.
The facts are that she only shared as the relationship went on:

• she is over 40k in debt
• Got fired from her nursing job because the educator had it in for her
• Missed out on receiving funding from the school because of their online portal
• Wasn't able to apply to graduate because the school didn't let her know properly
• Hates her parents even though they gabe her a car, paid for her exams and other failed attempts at schooling in the past
• Told me that her last relationship was "toxic" and she didn't see a future with him but stayed with him for 3 years and when they broke up, he threatened to jump off their building, same building she currently lives in - where 1 bedroom costs more than my previous mortage did for the 12 years that i paid it.

Overall, yes i had reason to play it slow with her. I didn't want her moving in on a technicality, or making me responsible for all her bills or getting trapped if things didn't work out.
I didn't buy her a house, i bought my house, in cash, paid in full and she was well aware that.
I bought a house because I had settling down in my current city in mind after meeting and had hoped it would work out.
But here she is complaining about if she would have an office in it, for...nursing?
A shoe room? I have 25 pairs of shoes in a closet. The spare bedroom would be for a baby's room, possibily if my future half is comfortable with that. Discussions would be had but i realized that discussions would never be had with her.
She has rage in her mind, a wild sense of entitlement and at present time is currently getting evicted from her apartment, and has no full time job but all the time in the world to make reddit posts for validation.
This problem is solved, she is not going to move in, and i am accountable for my house and hope she becomes accountable for "her house".
I welcome any comments / questions but i know I was dealing with a highly problematic person who will never truly realize her ways.

Hi there, I'm M25, looking for some solutions here. I've taken on about 60,000 in federal debt from the covid times, in addition to currently owing about $15,000 in back taxes, plus an additional $7,500 or so once I finally get around to filing my taxes from the 2021 year.
The last couple of years I haven't worked much. I was self-employed, and never taught about taxes. In fact, my education about taxes, from my non-educated, high school drop out father, was basically, "taxes are theft," "earn your money in cash," and "the only thing you'd need to file taxes for is if you want a loan for a house, car, business, etc." I still agree with many of his sentiments today, and I know he's not the only one with these ideas. Frankly I find it hard and very frustrating to have to give my money to the government, considering I know they're just unlimited printing money and the limited amount of money I have right now isn't going to make even a small dent in the national debt.
The $60,000 from the federal government is currently accruing interest at a nominal rate of 5% per year. $3,000 per year in interest.
The reason I haven't worked much, is largely because of some mental health and physical health issues. Now, I find myself in a situation where I owe roughly $80,000 to the federal and provincial governments. In addition, I have now racked up an additional $30,000 in student loans [also, from the federal/provincial governments][no interest for now, thankfully, not overly concerned about it.]
There's $110,000 in total debt to the government. I have also, an additional $25,000 approximately in personal loans from friends/family.
I have high hopes for myself, always have. I'm fairly sure, I could win some pretty large contracts with enough grit, or expand an existing business with someone I know, at the end of this summer. Both options have a good potential of coming true in the long-term, I think. But in the meantime, I have considerable debt which I'm not sure what to do about, and, frankly, it's depressing.
If I filed for bankruptcy, I'd lose the option to keep getting student loans, and the federal grants that go along with it [free money]. It's not clear if this happens if I file the consumer proposal. I thought about just continuing to run up the student loans, and then declare bankruptcy later, but, frankly, the whole idea of the debt hanging over my head during that time is very anxiety provoking, even if it's not 'immediately due.' I just want it out of my hair.
I have concerns that this becomes public record, and if I entered into politics later in life, that this might come back to burn me, but I'm honestly starting to get to the point where I think it might be there best option. There's also an element of feeling like a moral failure, if I have to take either of these options.
In summation:
What would you do in the scenario, and why?
What kind of mindset shift should I adopt around taxation?

I'm giving one of my favorite book series a reread, and it's reminded me how interesting the setting of Roshar is. Also, it's been some time since I've done a long-lasting RP, so I'd love to run something in the complex and dangerous world of Roshar. Don't worry if your knowledge of the setting patchy or nonexistent as long as you're interested in a fantasy world full of mystery, politics, and magic.
About me some, you can call me Star. I'm 25, work a 9-5, and all my hobbies are the type of nerd stuff you'd expect. Fantasy, TTRPGs, Warhammer, MTG, all that jazz, haha. I'll be writing in 3rd person as I'm DMing and would prefer my partner does the same, and I generally shoot for 3 paragraph responses but that will often change as I really just write whatever needs written. Long responses to set up scenes or explain complicated scenarios, short responses for back and forth conversation, and such. I'm sure you get it. I can probably manage a few responses at work, but mostly, I'll be available between 6pm-2am EST on weekdays. Weekends are totally free for me, though.
I'm very open-ended for whatever character and story you may be interested in. It'll be something we can discuss later. I love telling people about one of my favorite book series, so if you need me to, I'll happily answer any questions you may have.
If you're interested, shoot me a DM, and we can move over to Discord to figure things out. Hope to hear from you all soon!

I'm giving one of my favorite book series a reread, and it's reminded me how interesting the setting of Roshar is. Also, it's been some time since I've done a long-lasting RP, so I'd love to run something in the complex and dangerous world of Roshar. Don't worry if your knowledge of the setting patchy or nonexistent as long as you're interested in a fantasy world full of mystery, politics, and magic.
About me some, you can call me Star. I'm 25, work a 9-5, and all my hobbies are the type of nerd stuff you'd expect. Fantasy, TTRPGs, Warhammer, MTG, all that jazz, haha. I'll be writing in 3rd person as I'm DMing and would prefer my partner does the same, and I generally shoot for 3 paragraph responses but that will often change as I really just write whatever needs written. Long responses to set up scenes or explain complicated scenarios, short responses for back and forth conversation, and such. I'm sure you get it. I can probably manage a few responses at work, but mostly, I'll be available between 6pm-2am EST on weekdays. Weekends are totally free for me, though.
I'm very open-ended for whatever character and story you may be interested in. It'll be something we can discuss later. I love telling people about one of my favorite book series, so if you need me to, I'll happily answer any questions you may have.
If you're interested, shoot me a DM, and we can move over to Discord to figure things out. Hope to hear from you all soon!

Compared to other tales in this community, this is just dumb. But I have no actual friends at this point (hahaha) just people I hang out with and no one besides my boyfriend to actually talk about stuff. I also refrain from talking about my relationship issues in general since the people around me frown upon my relationship greatly (he’s 42, I’m 20. I know it sounds creepy, but he’s really nice), so I always try to focus on the good side when I talk about him.
I fell in love with my boyfriend because he is an extremely loving, caring man. Very dedicated to spoiling me and making me feel good. He used to compliment me all the time about the smallest things nobody has ever noticed about me. Never took me for granted, always came up with ways to surprise me. It was very noticeable that he loved me and I also love him very much.
He is a musician who plays in bars. When we started dating, I’d stand and watch his band play the entire night and barely drink since I usually work in weekends. However, he told me nobody does that and I should start enjoying the bar like everyone else. So I started, slowly, having a beer or two and talking to more people.
That worked out nicely for a while, until he played in a specific day I didn’t have to work the next morning and I allowed myself to party a little harder.
I socialized , got way too drunk and fell asleep in a chair. No big fuck ups, in my opinion, considering some people do or say really shitty things when they get this drunk. But it was a big deal for him, for sure. Next morning he was super upset about the fact I barely watched the band, fell asleep mid set and was a pain in the ass to wake me up.
He was very, very, very upset. I also understand that he has had a relationship with an alcoholic in the past that really traumatized him, so me getting black out drunk wasn’t very cute and helpful.
We talked it through. I understood his side, sincerely apologized and promised it was a one time situation. We were broken up for 3 days, then we met up because I needed my charger back and the flame was still there. We had amazing sex and he asked me to be his girlfriend again, all I wanted.
However, since then he has been treating me very differently. First of all, he always reminds me of this incident. Every single time we go out he makes a bitter joke about it and it makes me feel like shit. He’s also been saying that his back has been hurting a lot so he rarely ever feels like sex. When we’re together, despite the issues above, he’s very nice but not as caring as he used to be. I always have to initiate cuddles, conversations or make the effort to see him. But the worst part of it all is that he’s barely texting me. He usually goes out at night around 9pm and I won’t hear anything from him until 5pm the next day. His texts are always very blunt and short. Like:
“How is your day so far?”
“Good”
“What are you doing tonight?”
“Going out”
This wouldn’t be terrible if he didn‘t get me used with paragraphs for a “good morning“ text.
This Monday I told him I would have quite a busy schedule, but we could see each other Saturday night. He agreed. Yesterday I texted him about one of his favorite bands (that I don’t even like) doing a free concert today and he left me on seen. I texted him in the morning, asking if we would go, because if yes I’d have to take a nice change of clothes to work to get there on time. Again, at 5pm, he texted me “I never heard about this concert, I have different plans”. I felt wrenched.
I think that this whole drunken incident hurt him more deeply than he’d like to admit. And to be completely honest, I understand I triggered him but it’s not like it was a recurrent or planned situation to make him suffer, so I dont think I deserve this kind of treatment. Maybe I should break up with him for good, because it feels like he doesn’t really want to be with me anymore but can’t say it. This hurts me a lot because I still love him a great deal, but I would rather be broken up than feeling like shit.

I've Been Doing a Lot of Whatever the Fuck I Want Lately and I Like It
It's the day of Ayonna's Zoom court hearing so she's thinking about survivalist jailhouse makeup hacks. They've improved since women used to use scraped paint chips off their cell walls as face powder, dampened red paper as rouge, permanent markers for eyebrow pencils, Kool-Aid doubling as hair dye and blush, and M&Ms as lipstick because deprivation causes innovation for self-preservation. That and Jamahl's excruciatingly murky explanation of his 2-year wedding day gap even though he's as open a book as a text at a class final that provides no specific answers to a general essay question. It's not that he wants to delay a ceremony displaying his love for Shellfish publicly; it's about financing a befittingly royal wedding for the ghetto version of Prince Charles and the late Diana Spencer to whom the masses must bow down, and that includes the judge who simply doesn't understand the trials and tribulations of a multi-tasking single mother with behavioral problems negotiating her child's breakfast.
Court: . . . will continue matter until she can show up in court next week since we are clearly inconveniencing her. 🙄
Ayonna: I'm just a single mother with no help. You're not going to tell me I can't feed my daughter; that's never going to happen. Is it ok if I give my daughter breakfast?
Court: We are in court here. This is a court proceeding. ⚖️
Ayonna: Ok. Just be hungry. 😏
Four years probation because the judge's gnarly attitude is taking it out on me? Girl, what are you talking about? Bitch, you're gonna' tell me I can't feed my daughter? She can kiss my ass! I'm livid. Livid! 🤬
Jamahl: At the end of the day filled with dickheads, we still gotta' bite our tongues.
I'm not selfish; I've just decided that taking your feelings into consideration is too much damn work.
Keep Your Head High and Your Middle Finger Higher
For someone more accustomed to being abused than amused, Candice has said "I love you" to Andrew more times than the repetitive phrase, turn down for what, in the party anthem by DJ Snake and Lil Jon of the same name. While Andrew, true to his word, kneels and immediately proposes, Candice hesitates, and in that moment, resembles a raw double-chinned Pillsbury dough girl with an unnatural sheen, a face too sunken in its gravity to show happiness, and sad raisin eyes reflecting physical distress. But Andrew doesn't clock any of this; he's carrying out his promise to Candice's mom in a dream he made up though she has more eyes on her truck as she doubtless recalls her fond days of street racing, driving without a license, attempted stolen vehicle, felony burglary and constantly running from the police. If she were wearing cargo pants, she could stuff them with the faux Louis Vuitton handbag contents to savor as she completes her halfway house program so she can change addresses. If he could see past his own needs, he'd notice she was trying to figure where the hell he got the idea she cared. If I've cut you, it's because you handed me the scissors.
Patience: What You Have When There Are Too Many Witnesses
Joey is taking advice from Minerva, a sex columnist who looks like Chris Farley in drag who was super stoned and wandered into the backrooms of "Saturday Night Live" for a costume change and makeup refresh before rehearsing his Fellatio 101 sketch outlined on a chalkboard: Watch amateur porn for tips. Practice dirty talk. Get excited about being excited. Use both hands simultaneously and don't bogart that spit. Don't forget, steady wins the race. Freshen up before getting online and spending money for a rented motel room far away from your parents so you can have 15 minutes of precious sexy time before your monogamous lover warns you to deactivate your online profile that his friend saw. Hey, I found your nose; it was in my business.
The King Eats First
Once again, the kids are savvier than their parents. A striking Cheyenne and Nehemiah adjust their schedules to Rob's extended sentence that Tennie tries to embroider in her naïveté while every family member is worried about their displacement when Rob physically enters the picture even though he's already there in camera spirit. It's a which-came-first-the-chicken-or-the-egg question - is it a good thing the alpha male has streams-of-revenue for Tennie's shopping jones or is she shopping because she's worried about getting with an alpha male? He's a poker king like Marcelino making 6-7K a month in jail even though online playing for real money is prohibited, and I doubt his pod mates have that kind of extra cash regularly available. Any man in this day and age who can tell a woman to "sit down and be cute" must have it figured out as a lion doesn't care about a sheep's opinion. I bring too much to the table to be treated like a napkin.
Does One of Your Balls Hang Lower Than the Other?
Rick looks like a twig the wind blew off a tree or a stranded lost lamb in a field surrounded by hungry landlocked predators looking for a banquet. Sandy is sending him pictures of the reunion to remind him of her existence while 4x-married Samantha is positioning herself to long-distance bullrope and hog tie her bachelor into a ball-and-chain before he has time to think about how he's going to stretch a rigorously set pension into providing her commissary and visitation requests. His pickleball buddy, Dan, doesn't really give a damn; it's only his nieces who are rightfully tut-tutting her dictatorial attitude and snarking, "Fifth time is a charm." "Maybe I do have options," Rick muses, but then turns around and crows, "She builds me up." Sure, right after she shakes him up - like a snow globe. It ain't what you don't know that gets you in trouble; It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

I just had a brain blast and idk if I'm just behind or what. Long story short, I've had trouble with manifesting in the past. Either they never came or I had to so much forcing, more forcing I've seen others do. Right now I'm looking for a job bc I need a apartment bc my roommate is kicking me out. Stress is an understatement right now. I've been pulling out all the stops to make sure this doesn't happen to me ever again. Recording my own affirmations, subliminals, informing others like it's already done, not reacting to the 3D. I had a job interview recently and I feel like I messed it up by reaching out and checking in too much or being "too desperate" I've spent the whole later half of the week in a whirlwind of emotions because I really wanted this job. In the midst of my grumbling and anger something kinda clicked?? If manifesting and spirituality are about removing limiting beliefs, why are there so many rules and limitations? No "negative" emotions or else, no speaking down on things or else, no this, no that, only happy positivity 25/7 smiling until your gums bleed, basically don't be a dagum human with human emotions. I mean didn't Jesus question or get angry with God at some point? Don't spirit guides remember what being human was like? Fucking stressful! So why is expressing my frustrations going to "mess everything up", that sounds like another limitation doesn't it? Idk, I'm just out of my mind with this job search and apartment hunting I'm at my wits end. Any thoughts?

So, currently have a crush on a guy and i’ve never talked to him or anything but we have shared glances in the halls. And i see him at lunch one day talking to my friend. I mention to the friend that i like that guy and she gets really happy for me and says she’s gonna try to set us up. Anyway we go to his lunch table later on and he literally doesn’t look at me while we’re there. He just keeps staring at my friend (guys she’s a lesbian, he knows). Later she’s talking to him one on one and asks him what he thought of me. And my friend said that he said I’m cute.
Anyway i was suppose to go to his house when this pool barestaurant with him and friends but my friend couldn’t go so I couldn’t as well. But i was hearing things about drinking and a hot tub and i’m like???? sounds kinda like he a hook up thing. idk maybe i’m overhyping let me know.

I messed up. I messed up bad.
“Never get high on your own supply”. The human who sold me this data told me it was a saying from his world. But I had to be sure it was the real deal. After all, data drugs that worked on people without a brain interface installed? It was unheard of. But here I am [30 hours] later, and I no longer doubt. I feel utterly exhausted despite having barely moved. My every neuron feels fried. All 6 grasping appendages are sore from the repetitive motions, and my eyes are dry and unfocused from the long strain I have put them through. I feel intense pangs of hunger and thirst, as I haven’t eaten or drank since I started this test.
I still want more. But with a great effort of will I force myself away from the screen of my computing terminal and stumble to my pantry so I may attend to my body’s needs. As I gulp down nutrient drinks and chew some dried fruit, I reflect on the trance I’ve somehow barely managed to pull myself out of.
Simulations. A useful tool for engineers, scientists, and military strategists. We had never thought to teach storytellers or artists to use them. Humans had. And what they created was both miraculous and monstrous.
Humans decided to use simulation technology to create art and craft stories. It seemed that there was a human simulation… no, hundreds of human simulations, designed to invoke whatever feeling or emotion you could imagine. And possibly some you couldn’t.
I had started simple. A basic test of spatial reasoning, and later quick thinking, expressed through the medium of stacking colored blocks formed into geometric shapes. While comparable at first to a children's toy, as the speed and challenge increased I became increasingly hypnotized. The feeling of lining up and clearing four rows at once with the all too rare straight piece was intensely satisfying. Making a mistake, leaving a gap caused frustration and incompleteness like I had never felt before, and eventually fixing it gave a feeling of relief, of rightness. As the game sped up, I found myself more and more frantic to try and find places for every piece. The rush of success and agony of failure only increased as I prided and chided myself on my quick decisions.
Eventually, I could keep up no longer, leaving me only with a number. A score.
Could I push that score higher?
[4 hours] went by, and I barely noticed.
I should have stopped. I knew that what I had was genuine. But I wanted to know what else this data was capable of.
I navigated a colorful landscape, defying gravity with every action and finding joy in exploration and collection.
I slaughtered demons with a chaingun, turning the fear of being devoured into a rising sense of conquest and bloodlust.
I failed a single test of dexterity, sending me tumbling down a hole and erasing hours of progress, and I nearly knocked myself out from the shock of frustration.
I defeated a hulking warrior with a team of other adventurers, and the triumph of it was only amplified by the sting of failing several times before.
Freedom and entrapment.
Horror and domination.
Elation and sorrow.
Every new experience was an emotional high of a kind I’d never had before, and my hearts were racing with the myriad of feelings rushing through my mind. My imagination was going wild with the possibilities of all these new worlds of data and programming.
My self-reflection comes to a grinding halt. I need to stop. If I’m not careful I’ll get addicted and end up like one of those mindjackers, burning their brains out on data drugs. Supposedly these simulations can’t do that, but I wouldn’t have put it past the seller to lie about that kind of thing.
Well, one way or another, I’m gonna make a [alien animal that shares many traits with both giant squids and magpies]’s hoard selling these. Time to call my best clients…
[Time skip: approximately 25 solar years]
The Rise of the Galactic Game Industry: Fluke of the Black Market, or Human Marketing Genius? You Decide!
Dr’k-Nam, Head Investigative Critic for the Arts and Culture section of Twin Suns Newsgroup
Simulation games, also known as “video games”, have taken the galaxy by storm ever since their controversial introduction and subsequent series of bannings and legalizations across the galaxy. Simulation technology is nothing new of course, but galactic newcomers from the Sol system, Humans, used it in an extremely novel way: art and entertainment. According to their historical records, a significant amount of their entertainment industry is based around simulation games, and that portion has grown even further with their introduction to the galaxy at large.
At first, however, no one was interested. A simulation with little or no practical application, designed only to entertain? Most people preferred to stick with the entertainment they knew, or seek new experiences outside of sims. So what changed?
Simple: some anonymous human decided to sell them as data drugs instead of simulation games; data drugs usable by simply interacting with a computer program, rather than having to inject the data directly in through a neural interface. With this small, but completely false new branding, video games were ready to start spreading across virtual black markets like spoilers for the latest episode of Ace Flyer Kr’t-Kah on the galnet (side note: please have some courtesy to others and tag your spoilers).
Human governance and society at large had been reportedly as surprised to see a lack of simulation games from other species as they were that humans had them. But they were even more surprised when they started getting accused of pushing the latest data drug. This was an especially confusing accusation because neural interface technology was not widely adopted by humanity at the time, and only a fraction of a percent of their population even knew of the existence of data drugs in the first place. The revelation that most humans had video games of some sort on their PPDDs (personal portable data devices) threatened to cause an uproar in the galaxy, as paranoia around data drugs was at an all time high among many species.
After trying and failing to ignore the problem for long enough for it to go away, human governance, as well as human corporations producing video games, were forced to release statements, acknowledging that:

• Yes, video games were human productions.
• Yes, they could be addictive in the same way that any other pleasure-seeking activity could be addictive.
• Yes, there are games that even humans ban. Adult subject matter is restricted from youths, but additionally, games could be made manipulatively to exploit or develop gambling addictions, which is banned outright. Technically this ban isn’t even for games specifically, but instead falls under the purview of their laws against taking advantage of the mentally unstable.
• No, they did not “hack your brain” to cause neural impulses, unless you’re a a Syns-nah, who only partially exist in our dimension and are not used to any 3-dimensional sensory inputs, to the point where eating an unflavored [grain product resembling a cracker] can cause them vivid hallucinations.
• If other races want to ban them, go ahead, but humans can’t really stop data from spreading (their government has tried, believe me), and they’re not going to stop making or distributing them where it’s legal.

Ironically enough, the controversy made them much more popular, even in places that decided on banning them. The idea of a simulation that could act like a data drug without the risk of frying your mind like the real thing was enticing to many. The lack of side effects and ease with which the games could be distributed only increased both their spread and unregulatability. In short order, races throughout the galaxy were trying out a new pastime, and galnet connected multiplayer games were bridging the gaps between the stars. Now, several other races, including my own, are seeking advice from human developers in starting their own simulation game projects. Only time will tell what kind of games their unique perspectives will produce, but it’s unlikely that humans will lose their position as the most powerful and profitable storytellers through this new medium; they have generations of experience to draw upon, after all.
Rumors that the data drug sales pitch was a deliberate ploy by the human game industry (to drum up intergalactic sales) or by human governance (to spread human culture and influence) are still under investigation, but solid evidence for either has yet to emerge.
Edit: anyone posting untagged Ace Flyer Kr’t-Kah spoilers in the comments section of this article will receive an immediate, no-warning permaban.

I did this (Cancelled rides after initially accepting) twice today and I thought I would share why so you might better understand what is going on. I know I will likely get downvoted for being "uppity" but here you go anyway, some honesty:

1 First ride was at a higher end Hotel here with a very small parking lot/dropoff pickup area. Valet parking is also in the same spot. It was absolutely pouring down rain and when I received the ping (offer for the trip)and as usual it just told me a nearby cross section of streets and didn't specify the hotel. The offer was for like $5.15. Had I known it was this hotel I never would have accepted the ride for several reasons:

1. The parking area as said is very small at is likely that you will get stuck in there for 5-10 minutes.
2. The valet there always come up to you and I just find it annoying having to interact with them all the time.
3. It's a higher end hotel and the people there tend to be wealthy. It annoys me a little bit that the pay is so low for the trip from there ($5). From such a place I prefer to get at least $10 because it seems to me the clientelle there are usually a bit "snooty" and picky about things. I also notice tips seem to be more rare from them versus the other nearby hotels...
4. It was pouring down rain and the road was beginning to moderately flood.
5. I could tell that the customer would be going to a destination which would require me to make a left turn out of this place and I always find making that left turn annoying because of the traffic and the small parking area. Today it was even worse due to the heavy rain. It's a very dangerous turn to make actually and I dislike doing it.

...but regardless I decided to go ahead and do it.... until I was able to see the hotel and until I saw a line of five or six cars backed up outside the entrance area waiting to pull into the tiny lot. At that point I just cancelled the ride because there was no way it was worth it for only $5. It easiliy could have taken 20 minutes just to get in and out of there alone.

2 This trip occurred right after the one above, strangely enough. It was still pouring down rain but not as bad as the previous trip. I get a ping (ride offer) for a little under $8. Again they only give me the cross sections of the road nearby it. They don't tell me the name of the business or even the exact address in the ping (ride offer). I see it and by the location figure that it is probably a nearby apartment. I see the cross section for the destination and see it is a hotel. I figure it is probably an employee at the hotel going to work.... NO! DAMN! After accepting it I see it is a pickup at a shuttle transportation service. And since this is Uber they don't tell em the exact destination until I pickup the customer but I figure out from the info they gave at the ping that it is likely going to a different high end hotel with a very small parking/dropoff area too. And also valet parking.

Of course I cancelled this one too! Why?

1. It was still pouring down rain. And the shuttle area does not have any cover. Plus it was a female passenger. So more than likely I would have to either get out (and get soaked) and help with luggage or else deal with a pissed off customer who might downrate me or do a false report because I am not willing to provide butler service for $7.80.
2. This shuttle service is usually used by people who are cheap. Combine this with someone going to this high end hotel and it implies that they are both wealthy and cheap. Basically the shuttle picks them up at the airport and either takes them to the hotel or just to the shuttle office. To go tot he hotel costs a bit extra. This passenger it seems didn't want to pay that money and instead got dropped off at the shuttle office-- they probably thought the Uber would be cheaper than the extra money the shuttle service would charge to take them to the hotel. So again wealthy (likely) AND cheap. VERY cheap. A horrible combination for getting a tip! On top of that such people tend to demand a lot more and complain more about things. Not to mention the odds are high that there is a lot of luggage. Probably at least two people-- if not four (and with all that luggage-- for $7.80-- int he pouring rain and NO tip!)
3. Just like in #1 though a different hotel, this one also has a very small parking/dropoff area and it tends to get backed up. You can easily get stuck there for 15 minutes. Now the pay for this trip was barely worth it already but I had remembered how the other hotel was backed up and figured it was likely this one was backed up too. So I canceled.

After I cancelled this ride, I immediately got another ride for about the same amount. This one was picking up an employee at a house and taking them to restaurant where they worked. It was about half the distance and probably about 1/5th the amount of time as trip #2 would have been. Plus I never had to leave the car, there was no luggage to deal with and no backed up tiny parking areas to delay me and also risk getting into an accident due to all the people there chaotically moving all about. And, again, for about the same pay. So bottom line here: $8 for about 25-30 minutes, getting soaked from the rain, handling luggage VS $8 for about 5 minutes, not getting wet, not handling any luggage, staying in the car. Easy choice, no?
So if you read this far, thank you. I thought I'd just explain what went on so some of you might understand better. How could it be solved and made better? Well for one thing if they just paid us fairly all of the above would be far less of an issue. You might be paying $20 for the ride but we might only be getting $5. And when it is like that, as you can see, anything negative about your ride makes us want to cancel it. The other thing would be the company giving us the FULL upfront details about the ride before we accept it. As it is now they basically give us limited info in order to try to "trick" us into accepting your ride. Then they figure we are less likely to cancel it because we "committed" already. But really you the customer would have FAR less problems if the company just gave us the details upfront and was honest about it.

i really real really love small containers. i've had this obsession since childhood. film canisters, pots, jars, TINS! i recently bought a special tin for fountain pen nibs even though i dont have a fountain pen cause it's just a tiny hinged tin. i keep my septum jewelry in it. i also collect different kinds of tobacco tins and use them to store my various trinkets. it brings me so much joy to put stuff in little pots! my favourites are the teeny ones or weird ones like i have this miffy themed box i think i made when i was a kid like it's a decorated wooden box from a craft shop or something but i put my baby teeth in it so the outside decorations are cute miffy stickers and inside there's human teeth. i have a tin with a jacob's sheep on it as well, its only like 5cm long. i also have a whole bunch of teeny tiny jars with little things in them, like reliquaries. some have mouse bones from owl pellets, some have like cool coloured shiny rocks or moss or whatever
does anyone else love containers pls reply with ur favourite containers or if u wanna see mine i will show u my containers i love them dearly. apologies for the run on sentences im passionate about this!!!!!

Hi,
In the lead up to giving birth I was told you’ll KNOW when you’re in labour. Well… I didn’t! So here is my story to show how some symptoms can look/feel different.
My brith plan was for low intervention, but not against pain relief and medical inputs as required.
I had 2 x stretch and sweep, one at 39 weeks, and one at 40 weeks.
For my 40 week stretch and sweep my “spotting” was heavier than the 39 week one. Also the period like cramping was worse.
I didn’t think much of it, until 5 hours later the spotting got a bit heavier so I called the hospital for advice.
After a series of questions they suspected my waters had broken and I went in for a check. And yup - was my waters. For me it was only a trickle and pinkish.
I was given the option to go home so I did.
A few hours later I passed a small clot, so again went back to hospital for some monitoring. Baby was fine. Pre-labour surges were manageable. But we stayed overnight as it was 1am and we were too tired to drive home.
I put my TENS on and tried to get some sleep. I didn’t really sleep due to the strong surges, which I felt were about 30 mins apart.
In the morning I was told if my labour hadn’t progressed by midday I should consider and induction to avoid infection (nearing 24 hrs since waters broke). I agreed.
I went for a walk to get a tea at around 11am. I stopped a few times as it hurt and breathed through it.
I was disappointed at midday that nothing seemed to be happening. So we put in a low dose synthetic oxytocin drip and checked my cervix…..
Turns out I was 7cm dilated!!!!!!
After that my partner and I put on a movie to watch, but things moved quickly.
About 30 mins into the movie I was in active labour.
Around 2 hrs later we had a baby!!!!
All up from waters breaking to delivery was 25 hours.
Labour was manageable with TENS and gas. I had a great team around me and lots of support.
My partner played some music, and helped with massage and changing positions.
I managed only minimal tearing, no stitches.
We did do quite a bit of prep in terms of calm birthing type classes, breathing exercises, and perennial massage. I’d also done pre natal yoga.
I was very scared of the pain, but almost 2 weeks later it’s only a distant memory….!!!!
Anyway I just wanted to share this as I have heard so many negative brith stories, and I’m a very ordinary person with narrow hips, advanced maternal age, who wasn’t convinced I could do it!!!! But here we are!!!!!
Good luck ladies x

Well, hello.
^{I just want to write some stuff because I have no one to tell and make myself a bit calm. I know that sounds a bit selfish, so I'm really sorry for that. Delete my post, please, if it's in the wrong forum.}
As you can already know from the title, I'm a twenty-year-old guy who's just a bit confused.
My parents have been married for over 25 years and have been together for over 30 years. They started their lives again from nothing because they gave all their stuff to their exes and kids and then earned enough money through hard work to be able to spend the rest of their lives without working, just doing their hobbies. They were happily living in their own house together that they wanted and had dreams and plans for the next decades to happily live together here.
However, they almost broke up once when I was a kid, but their friends helped them renew their relationship. I still remember that day and hoped that would never happen again, but here it is.
And, it happened again yesterday. It began from a small thing that shouldn't have been a trigger. I initially thought it was a joke because I thought that couldn't happen due to such a small thing like choosing where to buy something.
I tried to talk with both of them in hopes of helping them restore their relationship because I also saw that my mom really wanted to restore it, and somehow I understood what was going on. I understood it as their inability to objectively talk about their relationship and problems that happened over the last years led to this. They just don't want to seriously apologize to each other due to their pride.
At first, I laughed a bit and felt positive, thinking this situation could be easily solved, but today I understand that it is almost impossible to save their relationship. They don't really want to hear me right now, especially my dad, and there are, sadly, no more friends nearby who could try to help them like before. I'm actually in a panic right now, but I don't want to show it, hoping that this situation can still be solved. Most of their close friends once said that they are the ones who will never break up due to the things that they went through.
Dad tried to calm me down somehow by saying that I have an apartment and some money in a bank assigned to me, so I'll be completely fine and will have a roof over my head and will be able to finish college, but for me, it's not about money. It's about their relationship, and I worry about them.
I know that if they actually break up, they will no longer live together and there is a low chance that they will be able to find someone else they love due to their age and personality. They still suit each other so well but just don't want to talk normally about that pity problem due to their characters.
I'm still really depressed due to the war that is going on in my country and now also have this. Unfortunately, I don't really have friends because all who I know are not really close to me. I really like my parents and was always talking with them a lot. Right now, I'm a college student who is really confused. I just feel that too much shit has dropped on me in the last two years. I just started to feel somewhat good a few months ago when I finally understood what I'm actually interested in (yeah, I understood that by already being a college student) and now have this too...
^{Thank you, Reddit, for giving me a chance to write this whiny post. I know that it will likely get zero attention, but the main point for me was to express my feelings somewhere, knowing that it will be more or less anonymous.}

i met this guy online and had an extremely short fling with him. as of writing this we've only known each other for about 3 weeks and were friends with benefits for a week before i decided to actually be open abt stuff in my life, making him decide to let us be actual friends. his words being (after i vented) "you're turning from a cute girl i wanna fuck to someone i want to help". afterwards he repeated that he genuinely did want to be friends with me.
when we first met he said he wasn't interested in relationships, and given my mental state of having raging abandonment issues i was okay with that. i also thought i wasn't ready. the problem is, i'd started developing (not that strong, we've known each other less than a month) real feelings for him. he's sweet and good-natured, mature, insightful, fun, and calls me out on my bs even if he can be a bit heavy handed with it. before we decided to call things off he's also said that i had a "good heart", that i was "kind", and that i "deserved the world" even if i was just looking for a fling.
we've also shown to be able to communicate well with each other after a tense situation. we called yesterday and we made each other tense because of my anxiety and self-sabotaging. on his part it was because i'd reminded him of his younger self from when he used to deal with those issues, and on my part because it seemed i affected him too easily and got him ticked when others would just try to reassure me and we'd move on. well we weren't able to bring the vibe back up, and we acknowledged that we just got carried away and that since we haven't been talking for too long we were still feeling each other out and getting to know each other.
after that he left a message about wanting to move on from the tense conversation and tried to liven up the mood by telling me... about this girl he's thinking of pursuing seriously. he says she's sweet, passionate, and attentive and that they talk about a lot of stuff together. they've known each other for a couple of months and they've already met up in real life (we haven't). this just makes me feel so horrible, but i don't want to give up what seems like a very good potential friend just because of my jealousy. i want to be a good friend but this is eating me up. if he also thought i was sweet and if he also liked talking to me, i can't help but think that if only the circumstances were better and if i had more time for him to get to know me he'd like me instead. he already thought i was physically attractive, and we were getting along so well... it hurts.
how do i deal with this without being a crappy friend to him? i've been told by someone in a really stable long term relationship that i shouldn't act like i've lost because nothing has been set in stone yet.
for additional context it seems she likes him as well but they aren't officially together yet. basically i thought i could finally have a friend who truly gets me that i could crush on safely while i worked through my issues, and i feel punished for thinking that.

For context, my bf (22M) had broken up with his ex (21F) a year before he met me because she was going abroad for uni. They decided to stay friends but she eventually blocked him when she left.
Me (20F) and my bf met two months before I went abroad for uni (another country than his ex lol). I told him this immediately and we agreed to get into a relationship to eventually break up in two months.
It was a great relationship, he was a loving partner and he always spoiled me with affection.
We broke up the day before I left and decided to stay friends.
During our break we both dated other people but when I came back to visit my home country for christmas we decided to get back together. We told each other about everyone that we dated while we were on our break.
He then told me that him and his ex had met, without him telling me about it, while we were still together (about a week before we broke up) because she told him that she was in a bad situation. She had just gotten out of a toxic relationship and had nobody to talk to except him. She told him that her toxic ex made her block him. He consoled her but when she said that she missed him and had feelings for him, he told her that he had no feelings for her, that he had a girlfriend and showed her my picture.
At the time I didn’t think much of it and honestly felt sorry for her.
We agreed to do a long distance relationship and I eventually left for my second semester. One day I got curious and searched my bf’s ex on instagram. I saw that he had liked all of her posts that were posted while we were on our break and he was still following her. I had this gut feeling that there was something going on.
When I came back to my home country for summer break, my bf greeted me with flowers as always. One day while we were hanging out I playfully asked if I could check his phone. He said no, which is fine but I found this odd as he never hid his phone around me and I was under the impression that he was already telling me everything that was going on in his life. When I told him this he said okay and showed me his text histories on all of his social media.
We came across his dms with his ex, though I didn’t look through what they talked about. I asked him why he was still in contact with his ex after she told him that she still had feelings for him. He said that they were just friends and that they hadn’t even talked that much. She asked if he wanted help with learning english and occasionally said let’s meet up. He once told her that she looked better after the bad state she was in. That was it.
I told him that I was uncomfortable with him talking to her still when he knew that she had feelings for him. He said okay, apologized and unfollowed her in front of me.
Something still didn’t feel right.
The next day I asked to meet him and asked him why he didn’t tell me that he met up with his ex while we were still together. He told me that he was afraid that I would misunderstand it at the time given that our relationship wasn’t that serious since we would break up in a week. I asked him if he had told her that we broke up when we did. He told me that he didn’t remember. I asked to see their messages. He said no. I told him that I had a bad feeling and couldn’t go on with our relationship if I didn’t see their texts.
He then showed me. He had replied to her story saying that she had gained weight and that her cheeks looked cute. Then there was a conversation where he asked when she was coming back and asked if she wanted to meet up. Another one where they talked about her toxic ex. And that’s all I saw until he snatched his phone from my hand. I immediately got up, started crying and told him I was breaking up with him.
He said they were just friends and that that’s how he speaks to all his friends. He said that she was in a bad state and had nobody to talk to (which was straight bs btw). He said that I wasn’t even with him when they talked (which was true but apparently they texted on whatsapp as well but he deleted the texts because his conservative dad looked at them and got mad, so I’m not sure) and that they hadn’t talked since.
The next day I blocked, then unblocked him on instagram. And he had followed his ex again. I waited and checked, and he had unfollowed her again.
He texted me that day saying that he didn’t do anything wrong and that he just wanted to be there for his friend. He said that he was torn that we were breaking up and that he will never forget me. I asked him why he followed his ex immediately after I broke up with him then. He said that it was because she was his friend but he then decided to unfollow her when he reconsidered the situation because it didn’t feel right. He also removed all of his likes from her posts.
We texted for two days. He eventually apologized for breaking my trust and that even though she was his friend it was disrespectful to me. He told me that I was the most precious thing in his life and he was an idiot for losing me. I told him that I still didn’t forgive him and that I needed time. He said that he would respect my decision no matter what
Any advice? I love him so much but I feel like I can’t trust him anymore.
TLDR My bf met with his ex while still with me, then stayed in contact with her while we were broken up only to tell me this when we decided to get back together. I then found out that he was talking in a flirtatious during the break and tried to meet up with her. He apologized but idk what to do, any advice?

A couple of months ago my egg cracked…… or so I thought it did.
I discovered that I might be a transgender woman, but I wasn’t sure. But once I realized this might be the case, it was exciting. I became excited at the thought of feminizing myself and wearing feminine clothing. I started thinking of names and putting them on a list of which ones I liked the most. I asked my friends online to refer to me with she/her pronouns. It didn’t feel bad to be called she, but it didn’t like… elate me like I’ve heard with some other people. I figured the only reason it didn’t feel as amazing as I was expecting was because it was new.
Even so, I still found the idea of being a woman exciting. I kept looking up clothes I might want to buy once I can afford them. I started engaging with trans people online and they were very accepting and made me feel welcome.
But then. A few weeks ago. I started doubting myself. I started doubting my motivations and thinking maybe I shouldn’t be a girl because I wasn’t doing it for reasons that were good enough. I started reading things about AGP (which I know is a debunked theory that is highly criticized, but even so it started to make me doubt myself) and after a while I just fell into a depression and thinking maybe I shouldn’t be a girl.
But speaking to a therapist who specializes in transgender issues, they told me that a lot of these doubts I was having were normal, and over these few weeks I’ve been trying to come to terms with myself even more.
But now, today, I don’t feel anything when I look at women’s clothing or cute hairstyles or anything like that. I haven’t felt anything for over a week now.
And it’s making me worry that this was all just a phase. That these doubts made me push this out of my mind forever and now I can’t ever pursue it because the feelings are gone.
I do know one thing: I’m not a guy. I don’t enjoy he/him pronouns at this point. But as for she/her, I can’t tell. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be feeling.

i met this guy online and had an extremely short fling with him. as of writing this we've only known each other for about 3 weeks and were friends with benefits for a week before i decided to actually be open abt stuff in my life, making him decide to let us be actual friends. his words being (after i vented) "you're turning from a cute girl i wanna fuck to someone i want to help". afterwards he repeated that he genuinely did want to be friends with me.
when we first met he said he wasn't interested in relationships, and given my mental state of having raging abandonment issues i was okay with that. i also thought i wasn't ready. the problem is, i'd started developing (not that strong, we've known each other less than a month) real feelings for him. he's sweet and good-natured, mature, insightful, fun, and calls me out on my bs even if he can be a bit heavy handed with it. before we decided to call things off he's also said that i had a "good heart", that i was "kind", and that i "deserved the world" even if i was just looking for a fling.
we've also shown to be able to communicate well with each other after a tense situation. we called yesterday and we made each other tense because of my anxiety and self-sabotaging. on his part it was because i'd reminded him of his younger self from when he used to deal with those issues, and on my part because it seemed i affected him too easily and got him ticked when others would just try to reassure me and we'd move on. well we weren't able to bring the vibe back up, and we acknowledged that we just got carried away and that since we haven't been talking for too long we were still feeling each other out and getting to know each other.
after that he left a message about wanting to move on from the tense conversation and tried to liven up the mood by telling me... about this girl he's thinking of pursuing seriously. he says she's sweet, passionate, and attentive and that they talk about a lot of stuff together. they've known each other for a couple of months and they've already met up in real life (we haven't). this just makes me feel so horrible, but i don't want to give up what seems like a very good potential friend just because of my jealousy. i want to be a good friend but this is eating me up. if he also thought i was sweet and if he also liked talking to me, i can't help but think that if only the circumstances were better and if i had more time for him to get to know me he'd like me instead. he already thought i was physically attractive, and we were getting along so well... it hurts.
i wanna support him and all but being friendzoned for the 4th time is really weighing me down.
for additional context it seems she likes him as well but they aren't officially together yet. basically i thought i could finally have a friend who truly gets me that i could crush on safely while i worked through my issues, and i feel punished for thinking that.

I'm a 42 year old male, I met my wife when I was 18, she was 23 and we began 'dating' when I was 21, working a job I hated in the same place she worked (casino workers, if you know, you know). We hooked up at a Xmas party and started a very awkward relationship. I say awkward because we had some weird trouble having sex for the first like 6 months... it's odd when I think back on it, should have been a huge red flag but she was draped in reg flags the entire time and it didn't seem matter to me. Aside from that, when we finally did have sex she got pregnant... she was not at all ready, neither was I really, but are you ever? At any rate, I didn't have too much of say in it, she decided on an abortion and I supported her. We stayed together after that horribly shitty experience, our relationship was never really all that good, lots of petty fighting/arguing and really the only reason it continued was because we worked opposite shifts and barely saw each other which made it easier to sorta get along.
Fast forward a couple years, we decide to buy a house because financially it made sense (this is almost 20 years ago so it was still affordable at that time), she made quite a bit of money, mostly in tips (so not on paper), but she probably made 2-3 times as much as I did so she never really struggled financially (in her life I don't think) while I came out of poverty and lived paycheck to paycheck up until a few years ago (the pandemic was surprisingly good for my career). This was never really an issue for me, I've lived in debt my whole life and I've always had the optimism that I would eventually work my way out of it, it's really the only bit of confidence I have in myself, my ability to learn and become relatively good at almost anything. This was always a point of contention, my wife hated that I had debt so when we bought the house together we were asked if we wanted a joint bank account as most couples combine their finances with cohabitation, my wife scoffed and adamantly told the banker there was no way she's mixing her finances with mine, it was relatively embarrassing at the time but I was also just 25 (she was 30) so I went along with whatever, it was going to be slightly cheaper for me to pay a mortgage than rent at the time so I was in and she'd cover bills. Things were never that great when living together, things must have been good enough for me to stay but I only look back with anger now so it's hard to see anything good but I'm sure there must have been some.
Fast forward another couple years and I feel extremely pressured (by her and her family mostly, they're old fashioned country type folks) to ask her to marry me... so I do. We stay engaged for another few years, I have no desire to waste a bunch on money on a wedding but she's the one with money so we have the big wedding she wanted. I'll admit it was a pretty great party, I don't remember anything good involving her on our wedding day but I have lots of good memories with family and friends. Afterwards we went on a 'romantic' honeymoon at an all-inclusive tropical resort and this is where I'll get into a bit of what I've dealt with for years... our resort was gorgeous, room was nice, just a room but nice... first thing my wife did was complain, about everything, the bed, the fridge, the lights, the balcony... nothing was good enough for her, this would become a common theme for the next decade plus. We also did not have sex on our honeymoon, she was far too busy complaining and being angry for us to ever get in the 'mood', this would be more foreshadowing of what's to come.
Now, this might seem like I'm building up to her becoming really bad after getting married but that's not really the case... she was just as bad before, it didn't really get worse, it just became more noticeable... or maybe I just tolerated things more in the beginning. The truth is when I look back, there were so many signs, she casually put me down and basically treated me like a child from day one, something I just accepted because looking back, I was a fucking child when we got together... she was not really, five years my senior, and she very much took advantage of that dynamic. Over the years she slowly went about convincing me that the things I wanted were silly/ridiculous and that I should want what she wanted (the nice lawn, the house, kids, etc., etc.) because everyone should. I never wanted these things.
I won't get into details here because I could write a novel on the insane shit I've dealt with over the last 20 years that could prove this, but I did do a lot of research in the last few years and have come to the conclusion that she could have BPD with narcissistic traits... I'm obviously not a doctor so it's definitely not a diagnosis or anything but she ticks almost every box from the many many things I've read on the subject, so if you have a moment and you don't know what BPD is I suggest googling it. It's pretty terrible but it might give you a better idea of my life.
At any rate, I dug myself deeper and deeper, thinking that every next move would finally make her happy and bring me some kind of peace, so we had a child about a year after we were married. This is where it gets really tricky... I sincerely regret having a child with this woman, especially because she is not at all "cut out to be a mother" (her words, not mine) but her mother had been sick on and off with cancer for a few years and her older sister couldn't have children so she felt obligated to give her mom a grandchild, bad reasons all around to have a child. That being said, I love my son more than anything in the world. As much as I wish we did not bring him into this horrible world, he's still the very best thing to happen to me and I will take care of him and love him for the rest of my life no matter what.
I should mention, since I've eluded to it, I've always had self-esteem issues, goes all the way back to having acne problems in high school but my wife has methodically picked away at my confidence and self-esteem over the years, cutting me down to this very day... to the point that I feel very much worthless. I know that I'm not, I know I deserve better but another fun thing about my wife is her desperate need for sympathy... So, not only does she make me feel horrible about myself, she also manages to make me feel horrible FOR her... she's overweight, and I'm sure has low self-esteem herself but she has decided to take it out on others rather than internalize and try to make things better for herself. She would rather blame others for any of her short comings, I guess it's easier to convince yourself you can't do anything about it when it's someone else fault.
I apologize, because I feel like I'm a bit all over the place but I guess I'm just trying to set the scene for where I'm at now and give just a small glimpse of the hell I've been living in and how I got here...
The first few years of my sons life were pretty great (comparatively at least), honestly it was probably the best we've ever gotten along, probably because most of my focus (and hers) was on our son. Unfortunately, her mother passed away just after my son's first birthday, this was obviously devastating for her, not unexpected but still devastating. We're lucky in Canada because she had a full year maternity leave and was able to spend time with her mom. She took it very hard, and decided to stay off work for an additional 4-6 months (can't remember exactly). This was all fine and understandable, I supported her through all of it, financially and emotionally. Once she went back to work, this is when things took a real nose dive... she has always been a very entitled person but upon going back to work (part time I should mention) she decided everything was horrible for her so she was going to make it horrible for everyone around her. This went on for around 4-5 years (again, the time frames get fuzzy because it's been so long), it was hell. I really just plowed through for our son, I made him my main focus and I took care of everything. Without going into it too much, I sort of shifted gears with my job and focused on finding something that worked better for raising a kid, I got onto a full time day shift (unheard in the casino world) and we worked opposite shifts. It was pretty good for child care (that we couldn't afford) as one of us was always home. This made her more contentious... again, going back to the entitled thing, she felt it wasn't 'fair' for me to work a good shift, she should be the one doing that. I eventually worked my way out of casinos and into a work from home job (before COVID) and it was great, she could work whatever shift she had to and I would always be around for our son.
Fast forward again, my son's in school, she's still super angry at life and making things hellish but I do my best to make it good for our son. It's difficult to keep a smile on with him while putting up with temper tantrums and fits from my wife... yes, we had a toddler and she was the one who threw fits. For an example, I can recall one specific Xmas where my son and I were playing video games which is his biggest interest, something she absolutely hates, and she made a few comments about how we should be doing family things together for Xmas (it was Xmas eve), so my son and I got off the computer and played a board game in the living room... nice and wholesome fun I thought. My wife throws a fit, full on screaming and slamming things around, I don't even remember what for exactly, it happens so often I can't keep track anymore. Her temper tantrum ends with her storming off and slamming the door to her room. I'll never forget looking at my son right after, him tearing up a bit and asking me "what is wrong mom?" and I just said "I'm really sorry buddy, I don't know" and we hugged... I cried a lot about that that night, one of many times I would have to apologize for her and the way she acts around him. This is just one small example and a terrible Xmas memory that I'll always have, hopefully my son won't. I think the worst part of these 'tantrums' is that she can almost always justify them, only to herself really but usually by blaming me or my son for "making her so upset" or worse, blaming some inanimate object for "not working how it should".
Fast forward to now(ish)... I've basically lived in my basement for the last 5 years, my office and bedroom are there, I stay down there to avoid my wife as much as possible but it feels like a prison cell now. I've retreated from life in general over the years too, I've always been a pretty anti-social introvert, I prefer quiet one on one conversations rather than group settings. Most of my 'friends' over the last 10-15 years revolved around my job (casinos take over your life people, for real) and my wife, I slowly lost any friends that had no connection to her. This was partially due to me retreating and the fact that my wife would insert herself into any friendship that was just mine to the point that I sort shut those people out to avoid them having to deal with her. Sadly, I don't have friends anymore (didn't have many to begin with but still), my son is essentially my only friend and because I work from home by myself I rarely talk to any other adults. My wife and I talk only when necessary... I cannot make eye contact with her anymore. This is probably needless to say but we haven't had sex in over 6 and a half years and I don't cheat, I don't have the confidence, so I've just accepted that I'm celibate now.
One other area of contention that I feel I should explain since I've mentioned it already, through the pandemic there was a serious power shift, financially speaking. She essentially lost her job and is now in a lower paying part time job (more realistic pay compared to her previous job), whereas I made a couple job changes that bumped me up well ahead of her. For comparison, the salaries essentially flipped, almost exactly... to where I make 2-3 times what she makes. This has become an area of contention because this was something she was able to lord over me for the majority of our relationship, she spent money freely while I paid the mortgage and barely ate for the first 5 years we lived in the house but now, for the first time in her life she has to pay attention to her finances and watch her spending... she does not like this so it's just another thing to constantly complain about and make passive aggressive comments about the things that 'dad' can afford to do/buy but doesn't (mainly because I'm paying the mortgage and all the bills now while finally paying down some debt).
Oh, I should probably also mention that it's a regular thing for her to insult me and put me down in front of our son and on flip side of that she also uses him to garner sympathy from me ("shouldn't daddy feel bad mommy has to go to work?") it's very frustrating because I just want to protect my kid but I guess she knows that.
Again, I'll apologize for how disjointed this all is... the more I type, the more I think about shit to type... like I mentioned, I could write a novel on this, mostly because I have no real outlet, just sit in my basement talking to myself about it all... or I guess stewing in it.
So, I guess I should try to finish off with what exactly the advice is that I'm seeking... I essentially hate my wife, the word I use often is 'despise' and over the years we've had brief conversations where I've told her that "I'm done and I'm just here for the kid" and unfortunately she took this as push to work on our marriage harder and 'fix' things, far too little, too late. She makes me feel like the worse person in the world and yet I just can't bring myself to say to her face that I want a divorce... I feel sorry for her, fuck so much so that I bought a house with her, married her, and had a fucking kid with her... I'm sure that's not the case, I must have loved her at one point but I just can't see it anymore. I don't know why I can't say it to her, why I can't just end this... I'm so worried about how she'll react, what she'll do to me, to my kid... how she'll try and turn him against me. I'm just paralyzed with the fear of what could/will happen if I tell her we're getting a divorce.
I've made plans over the last few years to move out, rent an apartment for me and my kid and just continue to pay her bills until we can sell the house and split the profit. I can't afford to do this, it would cause me to go back into debt but I do not care, it would be worth it to get away from her. I have set deadline after deadline... "I'll do it after Xmas" or "after her birthday" or "before my birthday" and these days come and go and I just can't do it... I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, it's like I just don't want to hurt her, even though I'm hurting her by not ending things and she definitely doesn't give a shit about hurting me... I just don't want to face her and deal with it and how she will make the aftermath hell.. and I worry so much about my son, it would have been so much better for him if I would have divorced her years ago, he's fucking 10 now... another fear is having to explain it to him but we're setting a horrible example. One of my wife's favourite ways to use our son against me, is planting it in his head that "family is all that matters", focusing specifically on our little family, and how we have to "stick together no matter what, that's what family does". It's such an underhanded way to prep him for hating me because I'm "breaking up our family".
I would appreciate any advice on how the hell I can get over my paralyzing fear and just end this marriage or maybe you wanna come over and end it for me? I'm at a point where I'd take that... as I mentioned I've not shared most of this with anyone... so feedback would be a really new thing for me.
Oh, and please feel free to call me chicken shit, and tell me I just need to grow a pair and get this done... it's the same thing I've been saying to myself for years, not helpful but I understand the sentiment.
Shit... I'm sorry, this turned into a novel. Thank you.

i met this guy online and had an extremely short fling with him. as of writing this we've only known each other for about 3 weeks and were friends with benefits for a week before i decided to actually be open abt stuff in my life, making him decide to let us be actual friends. his words being (after i vented) "you're turning from a cute girl i wanna fuck to someone i want to help". afterwards he repeated that he genuinely did want to be friends with me.
when we first met he said he wasn't interested in relationships, and given my mental state of having raging abandonment issues i was okay with that. i also thought i wasn't ready. the problem is, i'd started developing (not that strong, we've known each other less than a month) real feelings for him. he's sweet and good-natured, mature, insightful, fun, and calls me out on my bs even if he can be a bit heavy handed with it. before we decided to call things off he's also said that i had a "good heart", that i was "kind", and that i "deserved the world" even if i was just looking for a fling.
we've also shown to be able to communicate well with each other after a tense situation. we called yesterday and we made each other tense because of my anxiety and self-sabotaging. on his part it was because i'd reminded him of his younger self from when he used to deal with those issues, and on my part because it seemed i affected him too easily and got him ticked when others would just try to reassure me and we'd move on. well we weren't able to bring the vibe back up, and we acknowledged that we just got carried away and that since we haven't been talking for too long we were still feeling each other out and getting to know each other.
after that he left a message about wanting to move on from the tense conversation and tried to liven up the mood by telling me... about this girl he's thinking of pursuing seriously. he says she's sweet, passionate, and attentive and that they talk about a lot of stuff together. they've known each other for a couple of months and they've already met up in real life (we haven't). this just makes me feel so horrible, but i don't want to give up what seems like a very good potential friend just because of my jealousy. i want to be a good friend but this is eating me up. if he also thought i was sweet and if he also liked talking to me, i can't help but think that if only the circumstances were better and if i had more time for him to get to know me he'd like me instead. he already thought i was physically attractive, and we were getting along so well... it hurts.
how do i deal with this without being a crappy friend to him? i wanna support him and all but being friendzoned for the 4th time is really weighing me down.
for additional context it seems she likes him as well but they aren't officially together yet. basically i thought i could finally have a friend who truly gets me that i could crush on safely while i worked through my issues, and i feel punished for thinking that.