How much money are people getting from the accutane lawsuit

We had to let our baby girl go this morning. We rescued her as a pup and she lived a long, beautiful life with us. I have no doubt it was her time, and I have no regrets. She went so peacefully with us right by her side. Is it normal to feel grief this heavy from the loss of a dog? I feel like my heart is shattered into a million pieces. It seems like my brain keeps forgetting that she’s gone, and every time I remember it hits me all over again. I have lost family and pets in the past, but this is such a deep, almost indescribable pain. My girl was my childhood dog and we grew up together. I really don’t know life without her. This house doesn’t feel like a home without her. I can’t believe I was holding and kissing her hours ago and now she’s gone. This doesn’t feel real. I am so heartbroken. I so desperately want today to be over, but at the same time I wish it would last forever- because it’s the last day of my life that my girl was a part of. It seems like a lot of people don’t validate pet loss the same as human loss. But this is so devastating. I’m absolutely crushed. I don’t know how to live without my best friend. I love her so much. I miss her so much already. I feel so empty. I never believed in an afterlife, but after losing my baby this morning I can’t help but picture her running around in doggie heaven. I’m not sure what I believe in, but I hope if there is a heaven that she is having a blast and that she’ll be waiting for me when I get there. I am planning on putting together a photo album and putting something in the place where her food bowls were to honor her.. not sure what yet. She loved to run, so I am going to run in memory of her from now on. Are there any other things I can do in remembrance of my pup? Any suggestions on how to cope? I wasn’t expecting to experience such an unbelievably gutting grief.

The article will show analogies between Domain-Driven Design and mathematical modeling

Mathematical modeling

Students are introduced to mathematical modeling in a school. Roughly speaking, it is the translation of a problem from informal human language into the language of mathematics for subsequent solution.
(1) John and Bob ate three apples at dinner. John ate twice as many as Bob. How much did each eat?
(2) Let x be the number of apples that John ate Let y is the number of apples that Bob ate.
Then: (3) x + y = 3 x = 2 * y
Solving the system of linear equations:
x = 2, y = 1
(1) - problem statement in the domain area (2) - mathematical modeling (3) - mathematical model
Another example from the world of physics - we need to calculate how much fuel is needed to fly to the Moon and back. There are Newton's Laws of motion of celestial bodies, there are data on fuel, the vehicle, the mass of the Earth, the Moon, the Sun, the calculated trajectory and other information.
The whole power of the mathematical apparatus is the absence of semantics. It doesn't care whether it's counting apples or the trajectory of a rocket. It is a formalized system that operates with soulless symbols according to established rules. Arithmetic has its own rules, algebra has its own rules, Euclidean geometry has its own rules.
The achievements of the natural sciences depend on how accurately and completely they construct mathematical models for their problems. If the mass of the moon is not specified, it will be impossible to give an answer to the above problem. On the other hand, if the proposed trajectory is mathematically unattainable, physicists will have to change it.
A mathematical model is a general projection of the problem to be solved from the physics side and the math side into some "common" space.

Domain-driven design

This methodology was proposed 20 years ago by Eric Evans in his famous “big blue book”: Domain-Driven Design: Tackling Complexity in the Heart of Software
For many, DDD is when if you are, for example, making an online store, you must have Product, ShoppingCart, etc. classes, i.e., entities in the code must correspond to business entities. This is not really about DDD.
The main goal that Eric Evans set when creating his methodology was to enable you to create a program architecture in such a way that you can satisfy the client's requirements with maximum probability and build a clear, maintainable and extensible system. Get a quality and successful program product.

Comparison of design methods

DDD is mainly aimed at complex non-typical tasks with vague/varying requirements, to minimize the risks of spending a lot of time and money and not getting something usable in the end.
In cascade development (waterfall), the client gives clear requirements to the business analyst, the system architecture is built according to them, and programmers make code according to it.
In agile development (agile, XP, iterative) the client gives general requirements, a prototype of the system architecture is built on them, programmers make code on it, the system is shown to the client, corrections are made, the next version is released, etc. in a circle.
In case of DDD the joint work between domain area specialists and programmers goes all the time of development. The link between them is the domain model and ubiquitous language. For the first few chapters of the book, Eric Evans talks only about them and their importance.
The main point of the domain model is to be a constant projection of the problem being solved from the client side and the developer side into some common space. Everything in the domain model should be reflected in the program architecture. And vice versa - if a programmer discovers that some business rule cannot be applied or it is better to do it differently, he is obliged to open a discussion about it and initiate changes in the domain model, without making attempts to simply code it in “the right way”.
The domain model itself lacks semantics, it is written using UML diagrams and formal documentation. Semantics is given to it by a ubiquitous language in which the whole team (including the client) communicates. Each term of the domain model must be understood equally by all participants.

Parallels

Analogy to the space flight example above: - math model = domain model - physics = ubiquitous language - mathematical apparatus = software development - mathematical modeling = domain model development process
From this we can draw the corollary that just as in the first case, mathematicians' deviation from the supplied mathematical model will easily lead to wrong/unnecessary results, so in the second case, developers' deviation from the domain model can lead to failure in the end.

In his book, Eric Evans gives the following real-life example. Internet Explorer used to save “Favorites” as files with names corresponding to page names. When the user tried to specify his name, he sometimes got an error “Invalid file name”, although it was not obvious what files had to do with it. This was because the developers were using their own model and the client wanted something different.

Summary

Thus, there is a strong idea of mathematical modeling behind DDD

Hi, all. Started to get pain then noticed a curve about 3 months ago. My wife went to Dr. google and said it was PD. Took me 2 months to get in to see a urologist. My appointment was 2 weeks ago, there was just talking and he said he could feel a quarter sized plaque had formed. What do you know, Dr. google was right for once. He didn’t do any injections to force erection, or an ultrasound. He told me xiaflex would be the route he’d go, but I’d have to wait 6 months or insurance wouldn’t cover it. I asked if there was anything I could do in the interim, he said not really… but you can try taking vitamin e and acetyl L-Carnitine. Curve doesn’t seem to be too terrible except for when trying to flex it. I’d say about 15° erect, but >45° when flexing. Also have an offset hour glass is how I’d explain it (indent on left closer to base and on right about 1/2” further up). As long as it’s not flexed when trying to penetrate, sex is still able to happen (wife said she actually likes the upward curve when flexed inside). However, I’ve noticed that it’s impossible for me to finish if we try two days in a row due to the pain from the day before, along with having to pay attention to care for the hinge effect I’ve been experiencing. Anyway, me being me, I decided to look at different research journals. And decided to try and see if I could help along as much healing as possible. Found this group (if that’s what it’s called… new to Reddit), and seems like there are quite a few well versed people on the subject. Sorry if this has all been gone over before, I did my best to search for answers before bothering anyone. Currently I’m taking (not all for PD, some are just general supplements) Vitamin E, Omega 3, Acetyl L-Carnitine, ashwagahnda, Maca, and Genius Mushroom something. My wife found an article about TENS Unit being a treatment option, so she’s been having me torture myself with that. Also started VED treatment and manual stretching. The urologist didn’t mention anything about tadalafil, but saw multiple papers on the possible efficacy in the acute stage (hoping I’m still early enough). Would that be something a GP would prescribe off of a request with PD being diagnosed? I have an appointment on Tuesday with my regular doc, and after reading the reviews for xiaflex, and the urologist going straight to that, I’m willing to try anything to help without that, and don’t know how much I trust him. Forgot to say, I’m 38 and not in the greatest shape, but trying to get healthy again now…
Sorry for the long post, but it was my first, and wanted to cover as much backstory as possible. Any info would be greatly appreciated.
P.S. don’t think trips to Utah are an option.

going to keep vague as possible, as i don’t want people getting mad for sharing my opinion lol. probably going to be long my apologies.
so basically my sisters pregnant again. which isn’t necessarily bad but i don’t think it’s the best idea. at the end of the day it’s not my life she’s an adult and can make her own choices so i don’t really care what she does. i’m just very wary on how kids grow up (i came from a great family, but my parents weren’t very emotionally available it was more financially more on that later) im not going around being like get rid of it to her and i get kids are a touchy subject. she’s my sister and i love her, of course im willing to help and all that i just feel like she’s doing stuff she doesn’t have to be if that makes sense.
one of my other siblings got mad at me the other day when we were talking abt our sisters situation and i gave my opinion to them again. i was told i should keep my opinion to myself and just be happy for them.
i just don’t think financially and mentally it’s the best for them or the kids but this is my opinion that i shared privately with parents and other siblings not involved. she’s got a kid already, and her situation has improved since having her first child (very proud of her for being better for her kid) but not to the point where i think it’s smart to have more. love that she’s in a place where she thinks it’ll be great and i love that she’s found someone and all that truly am so happy for her. i just feel she’s so rushing when waiting would be such a better choice. but here’s why i think waiting would be better.
her and her partner maybe make 100k together which by all means is not bad at all. her partner makes most of it, so another kid means either she stays home full time and partner works more or they both work and pay for childcare which makes no sense with the price of that these days. they do have debt. along with the fact that they have a roommate (i think the roommate is more dependant on them then they are on the roommate but still). the roommate makes it literally 10x worse. their house is AWFUL it’s full of pets and the three adults in the house do not do laundry and the roommate keeps bringing in more animals. unfortunately from what i’ve heard they also don’t take the best care of the animals, i’ve heard they have cats and they rarely empty the litter boxes. leading to overflowing boxes. dishes pile up and all that (i personally have not seen the house in person as im a neat freak but i’ve seen it in the background on facetime and the like). that scares me as my current nephew/niece is a toddler and could easily ingest something they shouldn’t.
they also haven’t really left the party stage, again it’s gotten better. but any chance for a festival or concert and u bet they’re going (not knocking them for having fun but priorities) and it’s not like they live super close to help (family) so they either have to get a sitter as the roommate will go with them or (this has happened A LOT used to happen more but still) a post will go up asking if anyone on their socials will be able to take care of my nephew/niece for the day/night. which of course it’s not like they’d have a stranger watch the kid but that just feels so irresponsible to me. i get spending the money ahead of time and maybe plans changing w the babysitter or whatever but still. UR ASKING SOCIAL MEDIA TO WATCH UR KID. gotta do what u gotta do i guess but again for a concert? really. along with the parties comes drugs which scares me as our family has bad history with it. and so does she, she has a history of addiction so i don’t think her still doing that is good even if she’s dialled it back.
don’t get me wrong i know my sister loves her kid and would do everything she could to give them the world and keep them safe. i just can’t stop thinking about, as she stated to me “i love them but baby name wasn’t as worth it as i thought it’d be”. drunk off her rocker less than 5 months ago(child was home with family).
again im not saying any of this to her, this is just conversation between family that still lives at home and everytime we talk about her situation none of them really care. a lot of this is in my head stuff. im just worried for my nieces and nephews. as i know how much childhood stuff can affect kids myself.
going back to me again i grew up in honestly a great house. my parents weren’t perfect but they tried. my dads high functioning autistic and would work ALL THE TIME so we grew up pretty much with a single mom (they didn’t divorce just always working) who drank at least 2-3 bottles of wine a week. she did everything she could and protected us and all that but she had 3 kids each 2 years apart that’s a lot to deal with alone (we also moved a lot which didn’t help her). so she wasn’t the most calm or patient taking care of 3 infants by herself. our house was lovely but again three kids so not the cleanest most of the time etc etc etc. again i love my parents i know they did the absolute best they could and they love and care for us all deeply but it effected all of us. i have countless stories of me going to the top of the stairs during arguments and stuff like that (my dads not abusive but they’d yell a lot especially as kids to us and each other) i know we all have trauma (even if one doesn’t wanna admit it lol) and we should all probably be in therapy (tried bringing that up and was told “no need for outsider perspectives”).
a lot of stuff happened to us that messed with us and it seems my sisters repeating the cycle which just makes me sad. i know there no perfect time to have kids and i love that she’s doing better now that she’s got one, but just seeing them struggle as much already with the one they have and then making more seems so silly to me. don’t get me wrong i think the first kid was a great idea. yes they’re struggling but they can make due with the one. physically, i don’t think they can do more than the one they’ve got. cause as great of a job as they’re doing with it (they do try, like it’s clear my niece/ nephew is loved by their parents) but everyone has limits right and again the energy for just the one is a lot for them. not even to mention financials. again not my circus not my monkeys it’s not like it really effects me so i don’t care that much. im not losing sleep over it yk. it just saddens me to see all the struggle that could have been avoided on the parent side (my sister) and the kids. had they just taken another year or two let my nephew/niece get a bit older and them gain more parenting experience, get a house by themselves instead of renting with the roommate, grow up a little chore wise and maybe even pay the debt off so they can focus on the kids.
again im not saying any of this to her just sharing with others in the family as they’re also talking about all of her other struggles. i wasn’t saying i won’t be there to help or anything like that. just threw me off that me saying “do they really think having the seconds the best decision right now?” was taken like that by my family and i wanted to see what others think. i know their kids will be loved but it takes more than that to raise a kid, im just worried that everyone involved is not going to have the best shot because its rushed.
AITHA for thinking waiting woulda been smarter for both the adults and kids in this situation and voicing that opinion in a private setting?

The Thunder have a good team that might get better over the next few years, but I’m a hater and so here’s why I don’t think they’ll win a chip.
SGA probably isn’t that guy. He’s a superstar, but can he really be the guy on a championship team? He has the 11th best DPM in the league, for instance. There are a lot of stats out there, so you could probably make an argument that he’s better than that.
But you better have a good argument, because here are the bus drivers of the last 15 championship teams.
Lebron James x4
Kobe Bryant x2
Steph Curry x2
Kevin Durant x2
Tim Duncan
Dirk Nowitzski
Kawhi Leonard
Giannis Antetokounmpo
Nikola Jokic
Is SGA more of a Kobe Bryant / Steph Curry or a Kyrie Irving / Kemba Walker type of lead guard? In case that isn’t obvious, here are the careers of Kyrie, Kemba, and SGA by DPM
Chet Holmgren probably isn’t getting much better. Yeah, he’s young, and yeah, he’s already good, but bigs who are good tend to be good early because rim protecting defense peaks early. If you’re a fan, you’d probably comp Chet to Anthony Davis or Karl Towns, both of whom have gotten a bit better over time (but neither have become that guy). If you're more of a hater, you’ll search for more injury prone comps because AD was playing full seasons at the age Chet was shelved for a season because of an injury in a pro-am game.
They have a lot of good role players but they won’t be able to keep many of them. OKC had a great regular season because they were the deepest team in the league. But Aaron Wiggins, Isaiah Joe, and Giddey will get paid after next year. Chet and J-Dub will be the year after. Ownership doesn’t like paying a bunch of tax, so the team will need to make some choices.
The problem is that a lot of their guys hover around the Jaylen Brown line. By that I mean players who sign for close to a max rookie extension without really being worth their salary, and then by the time they improve enough to be worth their salary, they're ready to sign a third contract and they’re overpaid all over again. If you ever wonder who’s at the Jaylen Brown line, just log onto nba the first game into a rookie extension and you’ll see something like 1 Game Into 4 yea$$$$$$$$$ Extension, 1/9 from the field 9 turnovers, 2/4 from the line.
You can fit a couple of Jaylen Brown line players onto a contender, but not a whole army of them or you’ll run out of money quickly.
They could make a free agent splash. They only have about $20 million to work this offseason, which will probably be their last below-the-cap season in a while before their Jaylen Brown line players start getting paid. Maybe they could sign Tobias Harris this offseason while they still can.
But they can just trade for a new superstar to be the guy. I would say I wish, but I’m a hater so I’m happy with things the way they are, which is that SGA is going to be the best player on the Thunder for a long time. The problem with the trade-for-a-superstar line of thinking is that 1) superstars very rarely switch teams, 2) OKC’s treasure trove of picks is overrated, and 3) players, not picks, get deals for superstars done (Mikal Bridges, Brandon Ingram, …).
If you disagree with #1, who’s the superstar? Joel Embiid when he asks out, after matching $53 million in salary and trading away the treasure trove? If you disagree with #2, where are the picks actually going to land. Unprotected 1sts sound nice, but how many will actually end up being top 5? 1 or 2, if the team gets lucky? What OKC does have is a lot of future 20s type picks that are in that sour spot where the player will sit around earning guaranteed money and eating a roster spot until they’re up for extension. You know which team actually has excellent future draft capital? The Pistons.
The team has unprecedented youth and future assets. Not even close, that would be the KD/Westbrook/Harden/Ibaka OKC team, back when Sam Presti used to hit on his draft picks.

(IMPORTANT: THIS IS FROM THE REDDIT STANDPOINT. I DON'T USE TWITTER SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE OVER THERE).
I've been seeing a lot of people out of nowhere defending her actions which is not a good thing. The accusation's against Joe had next to no proof backing it up and it should've been obvious that it was a cinnamon stick rather than drugs.
Furthermore, I'm seeing a lot of people calling people that call Ruby a "he" transphobic which is pretty dumb. From what I'm seeing 9/10 times people call Ruby a "he", they legit don't know that she's trans. I've seen multiple posts calling her a he and the OP's apologizing after learning that she's a she.
People saying that " oh it's just one mistake, it's really not that bad" clearly don't get just how bad this could be for the band. This further lessens the chance of us receiving anything from Joe and puts all of us in a bad spotlight. It also weakens the bond between him and the band just as it did a while ago.
I will admit though she's done a lot of good as well. She's given us Anthropomorphic Bible Assault, a rip of Party Booby trap, and the videos for live performances at Andrew's concert's. If it weren't for her, we wouldn't have this.
BUT, I will say that constantly spamming "FUCK RUBY" (yes I'm looking at you discord server) will not make it any better. This right here is also 50% of the reason how the band could be affected by this.
TL;DR: Ruby has done a lot of Good & Evil (pun intended) and her actions are undefendable, but the hate is a little much.
If there's something I got wrong or went too far with or too little with, let me know.

Hey all,
This may be a pretty lengthy post. At this point, I’m posting to get the support of others (or the pushback to know I’m in the wrong) because I’m tired of the biased answers my parents and everyone else are giving me, and I need an outside perspective.
I wanted to ask for advice regarding a topic that's really been nagging me. My old friend and I are on a call right now just talking things through, and as someone who was honestly hurt real bad I need to ask for advice about what to do. I can't really talk to anyone else in my personal life about it, as my parents would likely try to make the decision for me
I [16M] was best friends with J [16M] for over 12 years. According to my mother, we met at 2-3 years old when we were at preschool and got along very well, and he was invited to my 5th birthday party. There are so many specific memories I could bring up, which I could never stop writing about, but we grew up together. He was my only friend growing up, being born with a speech impediment that has since been corrected and the label that comes with it. We went through periods where we talked nearly every day and periods where we talked once every couple of months. But we made a lot of memories, and each time it’s as if we never stopped talking.
We created things together, spent holidays like Christmas, Thanksgiving, and New Years hanging out together, pulling all-nighters. And these are less than 0.1% of all our total memories. It was honestly the most amazing friendship I’ve ever had and will likely ever have, unfortunately.
November 2022 was the two year anniversary of a small Roblox game I created. He had been recording and making videos for the longest time, and I had just released a video to celebrate, which he seemed to be impressed by. Again, it was as if we never stopped talking, but from that period on it was every single day. We had never talked that much, spending weekends together and doing amazing stuff. We even streamed together on YouTube to raise money for charity as part of the Thanksmas event. And he’s in a lot of my videos and other creations.
We pulled each other through hard times. High school, as you can guess, is where romantic relationships begin developing. Whenever I needed advice, he was there, and vice versa. I helped him get through a toxic girlfriend he had, and he found love again.
The only thing that really bothered me was that I was the one who introduced him to ChatGPT, which is an amazing tool if I’m being honest. I’m not mad about that, I’m mad that on my 15th birthday, which I believe is a milestone if I’m not mistaken, he didn’t take the time to write just TWO words “Happy Birthday” that would have been enough, and instead used ChatGPT to generate a birthday card, just smack dab copied and pasted. I brushed it off though, as it wasn’t too big of a deal honestly and only stands out now that the events that transpired have taken place.
This new girl he had, we’ll call S. S is an extremely manipulative girl, very good at it I’ll admit, but our mutual friends at the time, L, C, and K picked up on that, as well as myself. I consistently tried to warn him, but it was no use, and he was beginning to change to the point that it was irritating me to new levels. It’s important to note he confided in me about how unhappy he was yet he stayed and acted as if everything was normal, and appeared upset when I brought up the times he told me he was upset about everything.
Eventually, it got to the point that was all we talked about. S. It was so damn annoying. We couldn’t even have normal conversations anymore. And I wasn’t the only one, as C and I talked about it occasionally.
August 23, 2023. The day my world changed forever. He told me to screenshot messages containing him confiding in me, and send it to her privately. I did so, and she posted it to a group chat containing J, herself, K, C, and myself, and just started berating him. It’s important to note I had previously let her off the hook for insulting my mom, which I never do at all. It’s important to know that I’m not forgiving at all, and when I do forgive, it’s pretty rare. Although I can’t be sure, I believe it may be tied to the fact I used to be so forgiving to the point I allowed people to walk over me in elementary and middle school, and I never will allow that again.
The stuff she said, honestly, if she were not a girl (I would never hit a woman) and she were next to me, I would have knocked out her teeth. Although my mother and I argue from time to time, one thing I cannot deny is that she went through absolute torture to keep me alive when she was pregnant with me, and now I’m a fully healthy young teenager.
So I just started releasing everything, telling her how I felt about her hurting the people I care about and trying to play victim. It’s important to note she used J as a rebound from an ex she was clearly not over (you don’t compare exes 24/7 in a new relationship, guys!) and I previously was not going to call this out at J’s request. However, after she started going after my friends, I just said I would do it. J threatened to block me as a way to deter me (which actually solidified my decision to do it) and it was at that moment I just felt the switch of brotherly love and care (he was practically my brother) turn off in my mind. I could not believe he would threaten to do that for a girl he had been dating even shorter than the amount of time since the summer started, after well over a decade.
He blocked me on Discord after I challenged him to see if he would really follow through or take back what he said, and when I say I blocked him on everything, I mean EVERYTHING. If he tried to reach out to me through even Gmail, I wouldn’t know because it would go straight to my spam folder.
I didn’t know much, but what I did know was that he tried to reach out to me twice through mutual friends, asking for forgiveness. I learned through K what the deal was, at J’s request. A week later, S’s mother found out, and although I will not say specifics, let me just say that I’m not even sure if I can legally say anything without landing myself in a courtroom to testify.
I got a video in my YouTube recommendation tab in November (one of my comments on his videos got over 50 likes or something) about him returning to YouTube and addressing “everything.” I was interested, so I watched the entire thing, and I was surprised that a good third or so of the video was about me. I learned that he was fine the week after because this girl spoke to him (which really says a lot in my opinion) and only after his life went downhill did he realize what he did. He expressed how bad he felt about it, how he missed me, and how it’s worse because he feels like he could have fixed it, as (he claims to have lost me, not the other way around) he didn’t lose me to something like a car accident, or cancer, or some killer disease, and he was essentially pleading with those watching that he lost to reach out to talk about it. I ALMOST reached out, as he said we didn’t have to be friends, but I didn’t at the time.
Now, life has gone by at its normal pace. It was very hard living with it every single day. It's been about nine months since it happened, and we finally talked about the entire thing tonight. The thing is, I really do want to forgive him, but I'm just so anxious. I haven't healed, I'll admit, from what happened and I don't think I ever will. I see a beautiful future, but I'm also really scared that something worse could possibly happen in the future.
I wanted to ask, what would you do? If you were me in this situation, would you try to fix everything, or just leave it in the past?

This is for us normies who don’t want to sift through a hundred youtube videos just to figure out basic information that should be readily available. This guide is designed for people who are new to modding.
This LLO follows Brxsie’s model. For more detailed info on categorization refer to their reddit post.
You can leave out any mod on this list that you don’t want except for USSEP.
Key:
*= my personal notes explaining what a mod does or why I added it
e.g. = extra examples of popular mods that should be placed in that category
Blurb
(skip this section if you want the quick version of this post)
Hi everyone; I’m not a modder nor a PC player, but I was desperate to figure out how to safely load my game with reasonable lore-friendly updates. Every LLO guide I’ve found so far has either been outdated, contradictory to other sources, does not specify which mods fall under what category, is way too vague, or way too specific. The mods I’ve listed here should be easily searchable on the recently updated Xbox creations menu so that any Xbox player can easily copy this list. Originally, I was just recording my LLO for my own personal use, but I figured this could help people who don’t have the time to put in as much research as I have.
If you are brand new to modding, vanilla+ means that you want to stay faithful to the original game as much as possible while upgrading the look of your Skyrim world and making a few convenient tweaks. The least “true to the original game” mod on this list is convenient horses. In my experience so far, this LLO plays just as smoothly as vanilla Skyrim.
Unless I wrote a note next to the mod stating otherwise, all of these mods are independent of one another, except for: divine atmosphere, divine atmosphere snowflake edit, and realistic snowflakes. If you like the ugly fractal snowflakes in divine atmosphere then don’t bother with the other two mods, but if not, you need the vanilla snowflake edit and the snowflake texture mod to go together. Therefore, you can leave out any mod on this list that you don’t want except for USSEP), and the game will function normally.
To customize settings of mods while in-game, go to magic -> powers. “Equip” the mod you want to change and press RB once out of the menu. This is relevant to divine atmospheres, divine interiors, flute finder, convenient horses, and some dialogue mods.
Most mods on this list can be downloaded or deleted safely while playing a pre-existing save file. Deleting mods become problematic when you have already added and interacted with a custom item to the game and then delete the mod that supported the item. When testing new mods, I suggest only adding a few at a time so that you know what to delete if you encounter any issues.
If you are reading this on a laptop or PC, you can press command/control F to search for keywords of the mods you want to install to find where they belong in the LLO.
Personally, my favorite mods that I’ve added to the game are the dialogue mods and the texture mods. They make Skyrim feel like a real world with real people living in it and I would highly suggest using some or all of them. I’d also love to hear everyone’s suggestions on proposed edits to this load order. Please let me know if you are aware of any conflicting mods or bugs, or if I have made any mistakes in my layperson's explanation of techy stuff. Unsure if this is relevant information, but I’m located in the USA.
Extra notes:
What the heck is a leveled list? A leveled list is a change in the code that makes changes to certain values. Such as changing how much gold a character has or how powerful an enemy is.
And what exactly is an area edit? An area edit is any mod that adds or significantly changes a location in the game. This includes adding extra trees, adding extra smelters, or adding custom player homes that do not exist in vanilla, among other things.
Why are there all of these categories and why is it so complicated? LLO sorts mods so that the game can load the most important files first. When LLO is not followed, the game will inevitably crash. Categories allow us to sort mods into the LLO based on how they interact with the game's code. People sometimes disagree on what order to put the categories in, but all LLO templates use the same basic categories.
I do not use immersive citizens AI because multiple people have reported bugs. Other people have no issues with it, but I prefer to stay on the safe side.
Remember to lower your in-game brightness, especially when you are using divine interiors and divine atmospheres. If the brightness is all the way up, things will start to glow. You will have to use torches in locations with zero light, such as corners in caves. This adds a realistic feel to the game. If you give a torch to your follower, they will automatically use it in in low-light conditions. I switch between default/glimmegrim/vivid depending on where I am and how colorful I want things to be. The game may look darker overall as you can see in the screenshots, but this is more true to how lighting works in the real world.
Skyrim 101 tip: When you ditch items to reduce your carry weight, store them somewhere (such as a dead body or a chest) instead of dropping them on the ground. If you drop items all over your game it will eventually lag.
When creating a new character, keep in mind that once you start playing, you might change the lighting and make the colors more saturated. For example: I accidentally gave myself yellow hair instead of natural blonde because I forgot about lighting and atmosphere changes. This is another reason to install the vanity mirror mod, which allows you to change your character mid-game.
Storage space: all of the mods I have listed here take up approximately 4.36GB.
I suggest keeping a note of your LLO on your phone so that you can easily categorize mods you want to add the future.
Sometimes LLO will not save, so I recommend double-checking that everything landed in the right spot or backing up your LLO to bethesda before exiting the LLO menu.
Sometimes you need to restart your game to enable a newly installed mod.
How to delete a complex mod without causing problems: disable the mod, hard reset (hold power button for 10 secs or unplug the console), uninstall the mod, hard reset.
I’ve noticed a bug where I cannot tell my follower (Lydia) to do anything in “command mode”. I don’t know what’s causing this- it seems like a dialogue issue but I rarely use the command mode feature anyway so it’s small enough for me to ignore for now. Let me know if you find out what's causing this!
*Blurb over\*
Master Files

• Unofficial skyrim special edition patch (USSEP) *almost every source says that this must be installed. It fixes core bugs in the game that developers have not bothered to update themselves

Foundations: Lots of game changes (e.g. cheat room, encounters overhaul, etc.)

• Convenient horses *allows you to summon your horse from anywhere, store items on your horse, give followers horses, etc.

Dialogue Overhauls

• Guard dialogue overhaul
• Follower commentary overhaul
• Misc dialogue edits and more
• Relationship dialogue overhaul

Fonts/UI (excluding map mods)

• Font replacer - eadui

Alterations to vanilla quests
Any craftable item

• Vanity Mirror *this is to fix the makeup bug where your lips are off center when you create your character. I have not tested this yet, but apparently if you open up the customization menu with the vanity mirror then the makeup will work again. Cheat room also works for the makeup issue, but I didn’t want so many extra cheats in my game just to fix this one ridiculous bug
• Get no more dead followers *functionally turns off friendly fire for followers

Game mechanic changes: races, perks, vampires, adoptions, etc.

• Flute finder - a skyrim gps tracker for npcs *this is because I always lost my followers in vanilla and it was super annoying
• Multiple Marriages *haven’t tested this yet so cannot vouch for its effectiveness
• Auto unequip ammo *unequips arrows when you uneauip your bow so that you’re not always walking around with a sheath on your back

Level Progression (e.g. Clever leveling)
Perk overhauls/changes
Magic additions and modifications

• Master of Destruction (xb1) *adds new high level spells that target specific characters instead of killing everyone in the area
• Mining spell *I hate carrying a stupid pickaxe everywhere, so this spell mines for you. I haven't tested this mod yet though

Leveled list changes (e.g. rebalanced leveled lists)

• Better gold *adds slightly more gold when looting specific high level enemies
• Master trader 1x *this replenishes merchant gold each time you speak to them

NPC Leveled list (e.g. organized bandits in skyrim)
Any audio

• Chapter II - Jeremy Soule inspired music *Jeremy Soule composed the original game soundtrack. This adds a few hours of similar sounding music that blend in with the game

Weather and Atmosphere (put weather up ^ in LLO if the mod is just a weather mod and not an atmosphere mod)

• Divine Atmosphere: Aetherius *my favorite setting is vivid or grim
• Divine Atmosphere: Aetherius vanilla snowflakes option
• Ultra realistic snow flakes (custom snowflake texture) *if searching for this mod, search for “snow flakes” instead of “snowflakes”

Grass
Grass Fixes
Skin/skeleton physics and appearance changes

• pristine vanilla movement
• XP32 maximum skeleton special edition plus *changes some physics for smoother movement

Animation mods

• 360 walk and run *at first I put this in the gameplay mechanics category, but it did not work there. In the animation category it works as intended

Meshes and Textures
*The mods I’ve listed in this section should cover almost every visual in the game. Nothing is too drastic of a style change and fits right in to the game’s vibe.

• Wear multiple rings *this mod is more useful for stacking enchantments rather than pure aesthetics. Not necessary if you want a more vanilla game
• Divine texture pack - architecture
• Dark ages: fantasy dungeons
• Dark ages: dragon Textures
• Divine creatures texture pack
• Omen armors weapons and clothing *I highly recommend this one!
• Fluffy snow
• Dark ages - landscapes
• Divine skins and bodies for men *misleading name: this is actually unisex. Make sure this goes above^ divine people otherwise you might experience an occasional face glitch. This must be used along with divine people in order to work correctly
• Granite mountains *another mod I highly recommend
• Dark Ages: Trees of the north
• Divine SMIM *Static mesh improvement mod. SMIM mods redesign lots of small items in the game
• Lucidaps’ high poly project v5.x *This corrects blocky items to make things look more realistic. It cooperates with the SMIM to create beautifully textured and realistic item designs, such as the ridiculously good looking head of cabbage

Non-combat NPC AI
Immersion (e.g. immersive patrols, landlord etc.) - can be tricky to categorize
Anything that changes a character’s/npc face or hair (e.g natural eyes)

• Divine people of skyrim: celestial *For more vanilla/gritty looking people, try the dark ages texture pack. Both divine people and dark ages people mods must be paired with its corresponding skins mod, otherwise the textures will get cut off at the neck due to mismatching colors

Interior lighting changes

• Divine interiors shadows and light *my favorite setting is glimmer or default if the game looks too oversaturated because of the lighting. I highly recommend this mod, it makes the game feel much richer

Interior decorating changes
Lightweight multiple area edits

• Unique bridges of skyrim
• Divine forests
• Get more smelters *haven’t tested this extensively but I don’t foresee any issues since it doesn’t interfere with anything big

Single area edits like player homes
Multiple area edits (e.g. divine cities)
*I do not recommend divine cities or divine villages because it can be buggy. One time Lydia got permanently stuck in a modded tavern and I had to backtrack through an hour of progress to get her back out
Adding individual unique objects

• Auto Harvest Ring *because I like alchemy but hate picking flowers. Equipping this ring automatically harvests ingredients in range. Just remember to ditch the cabbages to reduce your carry weight

Combat changes, combat AI (e.g. realistic damage, wildcat)

• Dark ages: immersive dragon ai
• Better stealth ai for followers *followers will not start fighting automatically while you are trying to be sneaky

Unique follower mods (e.g. Sofia)
Mods that add new quests (mods that alter vanilla quests do not go here)

• More to say 9.0.2 *this dialogue mod is here because it adds new quests. The other dialogue mods I’ve added are less consequential and simply add a little immersion. I’m unsure if this conflicts with the other dialogue mods

Map mods

• A quality world map - vivid with stone roads *map mods use up VRAM and many people recommend against using them. I’m not a tech person, so forgive me if this isn’t accurate, but VRAM is similar to regular RAM. This means you can reset VRAM if you hard restart your console. If you are playing with tons of heavyweight mods all the time then maybe you should skip map mods, however in this LLO I have not noticed any FPS changes at all and personally, it’s worth it to me to hard restart the console every once in a while so that I can keep this mod. Source for the tech info (posted Oct. 2023) - https://www.xboxforums.com/threads/ram-and-vram.24007/
• Pastel map markers *Can you tell I like organizing? Color coding the map makes it more readable and gives locations a touch more personality

Mods that specify bottom LO

Turning 58 soon. Observations as age advances.

1. Mind still stays like your in your 20s, but the body KNOWS you are older. Things tweak all the time, and you don't know why. Healing takes MUCH longer. Energy levels start tanking. Remember used to take 10 mile bike rides, now it's a pain in the ass DRIVING the same distance.
   
2. Things that seemed important in the past, many become unimportant later. Priorities shift. You realize what is TRULY important.
   
3. Driving changes. Having a lead foot stopped. What the fuck is the rush? Also, starting to dislike driving at night.
   
4. Used to love being around people and going out. Now, much happier being home alone or just w wife. To much noise in the world. The more quiet time, the better.
   
5. MUCH prefer music/movies/shows from past rathet than current day.
   
6. Constantly comparing prices to years past. With absolute fucked up inflation the last several years, makes it sickening to drop $45 at a diner for burgers and drinks.
   
7. Have learned to worry about shit only you can control. Why sweat things you have zero control over?
   
8. Actually feel terrible for the younger generations (never had kids), as to how fucked they are with the price of housing, groceries, etc. And how fortunate we are to have what we have now, cause would never be able to afford it in this economic climate.
   
9. Give less and less a fuck of what people think of me. Have zero issue speaking my mind when needed. Much less tolerance for people's bullshit.
   
10. The older you get, the MUCH faster time and life has flied by. The last 20 years have seemingly gone so much faster than the 20 years before that. Aging REALLY fucks up time perspective. You think say a song came out ten years ago, look and find it came out 20 years ago.
    

We haven’t had a lot of reddit money diaries lately and I was curious about how much I spent on her in the first 6 months, so I did this to tally up! I’ve done MD before so I’m just going to do a very quick summary here: I have a masters degree, in workforce last 2 years, I was making $100,000 til a layoff in late April. I have roughly $12k in retirement, $16k in checking, and $27k in savings. No debt. I adopted Cordelia 11/11/2023 and the bulk of expenses, though not all of them, are split with my sisteroommate. If not otherwise noted, assume the total was split 50/50 between us. In the interest of tracking full costs, I will only be noting the totals.
Upfront Costs/Adoption Story
I came in knowing I wanted an adult cat and that special needs wasn’t a dealbreaker, and it was truly love at first sight when I met Cordelia (nee Socks). She was 6 years old and recently re-surrendered to the shelter after her owner, an elderly Eastern European woman, moved back to her home country. She had a rough backstory, grew up in a hoarder home and was found and brought to the shelter when the home caught fire and firefighters found literally over a hundred cats in cages. In addition to being less appealing to potential adopters because of age, she was suffering from dandruff mostly due to being overweight and was/is on a prescription diet for proteinuria. Nevertheless, she is a gentle, loving, total couch potato of a cat who adores being brushed and touched by humans.
The shelter is pay what you wish, and I made a $100 donation to the shelter (not split). Additionally, I had no cat supplies, so before I brought her home I went to my local pet store. I had a $100 gift card that I won in a raffle to benefit a pitbull rescue, but still paid $44.99 out of pocket for a haul that included a litter box, 20 lb bag of litter, a cat condo (that she never even touched, naturally), Litter Genie, and a bag of Litter Genie refills. I did not need to pay for a carrier at this point because the shelter provided one.
Category Total: $144.99
Pet Insurance
$25/month, through Healthy Paws, not much to say.
Category Total: $150
Toys and Accessories
Other than the cat condo previously noted, I spent $51 at PetSmart (not split) on a harness and some random toys. As usual, she does not like any of these toys and only wants to play with my dirty socks. This purchase also included a slicker brush because she loves the brushie. For $2 at TJ Maxx I got her a scratch pad that she loved and scratched to death and I replaced for another $2 later on. At one point she scratched my doorframe so I got a scratching post with a built-in brush at the base and also got more Litter Genie bags for a $50 pet store visit. In January I returned to the pet store yet again and bought a water fountain for $30, which was another dud. Last month I bought her a set of raised food/water bowls for $20 and pleased to say they actually increased her water intake! I also bought a Furminator for $20 as the season change has made her quite scrunkly. Finally, I’ve spent $110 on alternative carriers because the one from the shelter is pretty awkward and heavy. I got a backpack carrier for vet visits and today I ordered a rolling carrier to try and bring her on public transit to my parents’ house.
This total does not include things my parents bought for their grandkitty, such as a cat bed that looks like a present box, or random small toys that I paid for in cash. This stuff is also not split because it was all me being silly and extra.
Category Total: $258
Food
This is also sort of a recurring cost, but as I mentioned, she is on prescription urinary food. Though maybe not for much longer because she had a bladder test Friday! Every 48 days, I pay $122 for two 24 packs of her wet food. She eats a can a day and also gets a tiny bit of prescription dry food so she doesn’t spend all night bugging me. The shelter did send me home with what they had of her prescription. The total spent on her food thus far is slightly higher than the recurring cost because I had to replace the dry food once.
Category Total: $545
Vet Visits
As part of her pet insurance coverage, I needed to bring her in for a comprehensive physical exam within 30 days of adoption. I brought her to a local vet and paid $217 for a physical exam. The vet found that she had ear mites, presumably from the shelter environment, so this total includes an ear cleaning and preventative mite treatment. This also includes a fecal analysis. Two weeks later, we decided to get Cordelia microchipped, which was $295 including the actual procedure and the registration fee with Pettrac.
This past Friday, Cordelia had another vet visit. This was primarily because she’s due for a rabies vaccine in May, but we also opted to do her annual physical so both those appointments would be on the same schedule and she won’t need to go in every 6 months for routine stuff. The total here was $346, of which $125 was the urinalysis. In addition to the urinalysis, physical, and rabies shot, I also got her a gabapentin prescription to hopefully avoid peeing/pooping/vomiting on car rides.
Category Total: $858
Grand Total: $1955.99
Reflections
Sorry not sorry for being a crazy cat lady. I have some photos in my post history of Cordelia, she truly lights up my life and my/my sister’s apartment. There’s a new coziness and warmth that wasn’t there before she came home. As I type this MD, she’s next to me on my bed making biscuits. Also, she's down nearly 1.5 lbs since I brought her home! She still has a bit to go to get to a healthy weight but she's noticeably improved at grooming herself.
tax

First Time Restaurant Equipment went very wrong. What now?
Looking for some advice and this seemed like a great place to ask!
We own a small independent pizza shop, and are working on opening up a coffee shop for my wife. Not on the restaurant Equipment business.
I recently saw the Red Lobster Auctions and while I didn't need 90% of the stuff, I saw a great opportunity to get a full POS, lots of plates, smallwares, etc, for a deal.
We actually were outbid but the winner failed to pay so it was offered to us. Awesome! Except then the trouble started.
The auctions were listed as Entire Restaurant Contents. There was a "Sample" inventory list but it was noted that items would vary by location. In the photos on the auction were two items of great interest: A large Ice Maker and a Conveyor Dish Washer.
Thursday evening I contacted two movers who specialized in restaurants (which actually cost significantly more than the auction itself), due to all the stuff being listed as having to be our by end of day Friday. Then I was told the pickup window was actually only 6 hours (9 AM to 3 PM), no big deal though, hired one more mover.
Next bit of trouble came after paying for the auction, which is when they sent an exclusions list. On it there were two exclusions of concern: Dishwashers (if Eco Lab Branded) and Ice Makers in some locations. I verified the pictures of the Dishwasher, no Eco Lab branding, phew. Verified that the ice maker was not only in the list of items but also in the pictures. Figure my location must not exclude it, otherwise why show 5 pictures detailing it.
Then my team arrives. Everything is gone except for the big equipment. The televisions at the bar, the pots, pans, cleaning supplies, smallwares, blenders, mixer. The only things left was the large equipment, most of which was connected, and tables / booths.
For reference on this next parts, my bid on live auction was on Monday, this was now Friday. Two representatives were on site: The old General Manager representating Red Lobster, and a sub contractor representing the interests of the auction company.
When asked about all the missing equipment, the General Manager said they bought a large dumpster on Wednesday and all her team came in and threw everything away in the dumpster, which was already gone. Extremely unlikely, as I doubt Red Lobster would spend the money to throw away items that they're auctioning off. It got even weirder when "employees" showed up and were overheard talking about picking up items from the restaurant.
While my team leader tried to sort all of that out, the rest of my guys went to work on disassembling items. Except, Everytime they touched something (undercounter bar cooler, bar taps, booths, etc) they were told, "Oh no, that's not included," or, "Someone else already bought that."
After about 2 hours of back and forth, the on site representation finally conceded to let us take MOST of the stuff that was still there (which wasn't much). Because of the now reduced time of only 4 hours, most of the valuable stuff being gone already, and the high end items like the dishwasher and ice machine now being excluded, we only filled 2 of the 3 trucks.
I have called the auction company and apparently they said that my experience was not alone, and they were currently having a warroom on what to do next because of all the issues. They said they will likely have some solutions in how to make it right on Monday. The representative on site tried to get my team to sign a waiver of liability before leaving, but we refused.
What can I expect from this process now, and do I have any legal recourse? I would have thought that the buildings would have been secured to prevent theft while the auction was going on but obviously not. My biggest concern is that, while my costs weren't horrible at 15k, only $5500 was to the actual auction, the rest was to transportation. I certainly have concerns now that I won't be able to make my money back, let alone a profit. I know that it's a gamble, but I feel like this experience was borderline fraudulent. Any suggestions?

i've been looking around at anchorage on google maps lately for no particular reason (i peruse google maps on a frequent basis but i've been stuck on yall) and i'm seeing that you have a lot of potential to become a much bigger city. and not with sprawling, with density. it's honestly something you should anticipate, climate refugees are gonna start being more of a thing, alaska is cheap and beautiful and it won't be sizzling or drying out or flooding any time soon, plus the us as a whole is the #1 immigrant destination, so a non-insignificant amount of growth could be coming from them in the future. and that's not to say that your city will end up swamped with destitute people, moving this far away is gonna be a task only done by the wealthier of those that are soon to be fucked by co2.
but the point is that with the political will, anchorage could be an urbanist metropolis no matter who may end up in the future. you have about 70 mi2 of usable land, after excluding your many amazing parks (the urbanized area of the bowl excluding elmendorf and anc and surrounding parks is 77 but there's a lot of parks within there and merrill field). without using excessive densities or losing parks, the anchorage bowl could house 1 million people, a density of a little over 14,000/mi2, or about 1/3 of the density of koreatown in la. and this wouldn't be uniform, some of the area i included is steep hills in the bear valley area, or industry, so those would have fewer people, and downtown would ofc be denser and have more. considering the amount of empty non-parky space around the city, that could be developed into dense, mixed use areas where people both live and work. additional services like schools, fire stations, hospitals, etc, would obviously also be part of densifying a city. legalizing multiplexes on single family lots alone could easily double or triple your population because of how large your lots are, and that'll also introduce gentle density into existing suburbs without destroying the fabric of the neighborhood. your existing strip malls could also be redone to include a lot more commercial area. but places across the us are overbuilt for commercial, with several times as many sf of commercial as countries in europe, a big reason why so many storefronts are empty (there's just too many), so more commercial areas might not be as necessary as redesigning them. office space could also be increased in density, both in downtown and across the city, commuter suburbs create terrible traffic. speaking of downtown, most of the historic buildings have been gutted for parking or new highrises, leaving it just a shell of what it once was. a whole lot of infill is gonna be needed, and while that might seem impossible because of the amount of earthquakes you get, take a look at japan, that's what i also say to people that think more skyscrapers in la is a bad thing. japan has stronger earthquakes than even alaska, but they don't fall down too often.
now for the transportation aspect, good job if you've read this far. first of all, i 100% acknowledge that more people own more cars and therefore make more traffic. but not everyone needs to drive all the time, if we get people to drive less they'll own less cars and make less traffic. now that does also seem hard, you're in alaska and if there's one thing you're known for it's being cold. but we can learn a lesson from finland here. oulu has similar temperature variations to anchorage (just a little colder in the dead of winter) and a little bit less precipitation. helsinki is slightly warmer and wetter as well. but both of these places have plenty of active transportation, even in the winter. oulu is known as the winter cycling capital of the world and has excellent bike infrastructure made especially for the winter, with frequent plowing of bike paths. pedestrian and bike infrastructure is significantly cheaper than roads and could easily be massively beefed up to crisscross the anchorage bowl. about half of trips made in the us are under 3 miles, so most-all of those could be replaced with walking and biking, and in most places outside the us they are. now on to transit. your transit system sucks. it hardly has any routes and many are infrequent. i haven't visited (i would love to) but i've looked at a map of it once and it was so tiny. with 5x as many people you could support a whole lot more bus routes, and probably even two rail lines, one north-south from downtown to the south of the city and one east-west from the airport to uaa. if they were to be adequately grade separated (road crossings aren't level so it doesn't interact with traffic) and run frequently enough then they could easily serve a city of a million, and higher density development would be clustered around those stations, again like they do in japan and what is slowly starting to happen along the e line here in la. something like 40-50 bus lines traveling primarily straight down arterials but some also connecting specific places + the two rail lines (could totally be light rail) would be great for a city of that size. bus lanes on some streets would separate them from cars and could be implemented on street segments where multiple bus routes run. and lastly, car transportation. we're deprioritizing car transportation in this idea so no major upgrades would be necessary. one thing i absolutely love about your roads is the roundabout exits, and having them in some other places too, roundabouts are great ways to keep traffic constantly flowing and eliminate lights. keep it up with that. the only main thing would be to pave your roads in the southern end and maybe turn some of them into two lane roads with sidewalks, since there'll be a somewhat higher volume of cars. also a big thing to consider is eliminating minimum parking requirements to make the cost of construction, maintenance, and later renting/buying places cheaper, and it'll reduce people's inclination to own a car if there's less parking everywhere.
this is all hypothetical, but should you ever get an influx of population for whatever reason i would suggest you guys put out proposals to enable good urbanism practices in the city and maybe the whole state. if you agree with these types of things, run for public office, be the person who engineers these things, it takes the power of the people to get change done in a democracy. so the easiest and most effective thing you can do is vote, if enough people vote the right way then change can be made.
in all honesty i am expecting a flood of downvotes from nimbys. also fyi i am from los angeles where changes like these are happening and i've done plenty of research on this topic cuz it's kinda my nerd thing. i used to want to move to anchorage but i've set my sights on seattle and vancouver now, i might not move away from here but i would totally to escape the hot weather (i am the total opposite of a snowbird). thank you for reading this insanely long post

Hi guys, I hope this gives you a bit of inspiration and I’m using this platform as a way to vent some of the anger i have and voice to channel everything i have inside of me.
I (27m) cut off my narcissistic mom (67f) yesterday. To give you some back story i grew up without a father and in a family predominantly of women, and was always raised to believe what my mom said was the gospel and to follow rules to a tea. Growing up under her household was as you’re already imagining: we had our electricity cut off multiple times especially during the winter, made our birthday parties about herself especially my last one, and everything had to go according to her and her likings, she would suck her kids and parents up for money, left us all in a precarious financial situation, took loans under our names and lived a very luxurious lifestyle until everyone cut her off.
Every time she kept on saying how it was everyone else’s fault and that her kids were a waste, they should be grateful for everything she had done growing up (like taking care of us was not an obligation but charity) and multiple times if we didn’t validate her craziness she would lock us outside until we would apologise to her. Well in September i met the most amazing woman one can ever think of (24f) and it completely changed my life, coming from the same background as me but another country (I’m from Europe and she’s a US citizen and this detail will be important later).
She taught me so much about what NPD was and to be aware of her and my surroundings, and I’m completely grateful for everything she has done for me. Well this January things got extremely toxic between me and her and i decided to visit my girlfriend and while here in the states we decided to get married, soon found out there was a chance for me to stay here permanently and we took that chance, although we’re now in the process of getting my citizenship i am so happy that i get to wake up next to the woman i love everyday but not everyone is very happy about that..
When we got married i told her and she was.. not happy to say the least, and in the last few months has been posting very incestuous posts on social media about how kids should always listen to their moms and how my wife stole her “family”. All of this was too much for both of us to take so we decided to have a final say to her and blocked her completely. It is scary not having that familiarity but i can promise if you’re going through the same thing right now that it is the right move for you. Don’t let the narcissist take over your life, you’re worth so much and the grass is greener on the other side. Things might get tough but surround yourself by people that genuinely love and care about you, reading some of these stories inspired us to take this leap and I’m forever grateful to have found this subreddit!

I recently traveled with a cardboard bike box through Montreal Airport (YUL) with Air Canada. It was my first time doing so and I had a few doubts beforehand. So I thought I'd share my experience here in case it could help others looking for information, as I've seen people discussing this subject here.
Where to get the box?
Any bike shop: -possibly the cheapest but also the most unreliable and time consuming -might need to call multiple shops, sometimes inconveniently located
CL Cycle (35$) -two bike shops in the Plateau Mont-Royal neighborhood, both about 1km away from a metro station -apparently sell cardboard bike boxes for 35$, sometimes show as out of stock online
Gare d’autocars de Montréal (17.25$) -Montreal’s bus station, situated downtown at Berri-UQAM metro station (easily reached by bike from central neighborhoods or by metro which accepts bikes outside of weekdays peak hours) -the option I went for as it's both affordable and convenient -sells bike boxes for 17.25$ through Expedibus shipping service -just ask for a bike box at the main bus ticket counter, no need to reserve in advance, they should pretty much always have them in stock, they also provide tape -I couldn't measure the box but it was not super long, I removed the front wheel and handlebar of my rigid 29er MTB (with an admittedly long wheelbase) and it just barely fit, some people may need to remove both wheels -there is one hole on each side to use as handle, but they're fragile, using them to lift the bike caused as significant tear in the cardboard that I had to patch -there’s usually plenty of space inside the bus station to work on your bike and pack it -while there are often colorful characters hanging around the bus station, Montreal is a safe place, but still keep an eye on your valuables -from the bus station there are regular city buses going to the airport (STM 747 line) which accept bikes and cost 11$
Montreal Airport - Safe Bag (70$) -two kiosks at the airport, opening hours from early morning to evening -over the phone they told me they sold cardboard bike boxes for 70$ each (which seems outrageous), and that they always have some available (no surprise) -while the airport is easily reachable by bike, it's a much longer bike ride than to the Gare d’autocars for people staying or living closer to downtown, a long bike ride that you might want to avoid before a long flight if the weather is rainy or super hot
How to get to the airport?
747 bus from the Gare d’autocars to the airport (11$) -costs 11$ which you can buy in person at the bus station counter when you buy your bike box, can also be bought anywhere else that sells STM tickets including the apps Chrono and Transit, can buy it as L’Occasionnelle which works as 24h day pass for public transit on Montreal Island including the airport bus -can pay cash in the bus with coins only and the bus driver does not provide change -the bus line runs 24h/7, multiple times per hour during the day and at least every hour at night -leaves directly from gate 15 inside the Gare d’autocars, and then makes a few stops downtown before taking the highway to the airport -should take 50min to an hour to get the airport depending on traffic, construction, and, more importantly, confused passengers not knowing how to pay their ticket -the bus accepts boxed bikes as explicitly cited by their website, but the racks are too small, you'll have to keep your box upright along the folding seats of the area reserved for handicapped people :( -see STM website for more up-to-date info
How to fly with a bike with Air Canada
Fixed 50$ fee no matter the destination -you do NOT need to have a checked baggage included in your fare (for example, you can buy the cheapest economy fare type without any checked baggage, you will only have to pay 50$ for the bike, and not 50$ + whatever is the price for one checked baggage) -before buying your flight you can call this number to see if there is room available for your bike box on a specific flight: 18882472262 -after buying your ticket, call the same number to tell them to reserve a place for your bike, if by bad luck there's no room you can always get a refund within 24h of buying your ticket -do your online check-in, available the day before your flight, indicate that you will be traveling with one bike and pay the 50$ fee -once at the airport go to an Air Canada self check-in kiosk, click on the baggage options (I think it was called “modify baggage” even if you won't be modifying it), it should show you’re traveling with a bike, click to continue and it’ll print stickers for your bike box -go to the oversized luggage area, they’ll ask you to open the box for them to check it and then they'll give you tape to close it
Open to hearing your experiences.
*All prices in Canadian dollars
TLDR: Simplest reliable and affordable way to travel with a cardboard bike box to YUL is imo: -bike/metro to Gare d’autocars -buy 17.25$ bike box there -take 11$ 747 bus to YUL -pay airline specific bike fee (50$ with Air Canada, no extra fee)

My boyfriend and I have been living together for 2 years. We rent a two bedroom apartment. We both travel a lot for work and there are some weeks where its just me and some weeks where its just him. When it comes to money, I am definitely more cautious. I budget my money and am careful with my purchases because I am trying to build up my savings to buy a house. My boyfriend is more relaxed with his money and doesn't think about budget or how much credit card debt he is in.
In the beginning of us living together, we were splitting the bills equally. But as months went by, I noticed a big fluctuation between months where I was home more and when he was home more. The bill was about $100-$150 higher when he was at home more. He typically will leave things on like the tv, lights, computer, etc. All day and night. When we are both home, I'm usually turning things off when he's not using them. So without me to turn them off, the bill racked up.
He also leaves the windows open while the AC or Heat is on. He says its because he likes the fresh air but doesnt want the apartment to get too hot/cold. I've told him many times that it racks up the electricity bill and could potentially break the system, leaving us with no AC or heat and probably having to pay to fix it. He then offered to pay the whole bill himself to end me nagging him about it.
Thats been our arrangement for the last year. Last December, I got a new job and am now working from home. He still leaves everything on and runs the AC with the windows open. A couple of weeks ago, he said he wanted to talk about the bills. He said that its not fair he still has to pay the whole electricty bill when I am home all the time.
I explained that we had data that proved that even when its just me, I still use half as much as him. I told him I would be happy to pay 70/30 but wouldn't do 50/50 because its not fair to me that he wants to be wasteful. He said I was being petty and that couples should split things 50/50. Am I being petty?

The Mystery Book
Fiction
Describe the plot.
This is going to be a loose description but I will do my best. The story starts in the real world. There are three friends, two boys and a girl, in either grammar school (8^th grade) or highschool. One day to go into this house and they get separated. One of the boys finds a portal and it lights up and takes him to another world. I honestly don’t remember what happened in this world but I remember the last part of this book.
So, the boy who went through the portal ends up having magic. This kind of magic dealt with time. He was running away from the evil people and in one scene it was raining. He uses his magic to stop the rain and get back to the portal.
While he’s dealing with that, his friends in the real world are trying to find him. They go back to the house and find out that one of the creatures got through the portal. This creature is described as an enormous bull that likes to barrel into things. The friends use the many hallways in the house to trap the creature and the book ends with them finding the portal.
Definitely a series since the first book ends on a cliffhanger.
Describe notable characters.
Don’t remember much but the protagonist is a teenage boy.
What genre is it?
Fantasy/magic
Physically describe the book -- Hardcovepaperback? Book cover color?
Paperback at the time. I think the first book has a boy on it.
When was it set?
Maybe in the late 90s or early 00s.
How long was the book?
Not sure. Maybe two hundred pages or so. It was a fast read for me. I think I finished it in two sittings.
Anything notable about the original language? Did you read it English? If not, what language?
American English
... And You
When (what year) did you read it?
I read this in 2002-2004
How old were you when you read it? Was it age appropriate?
It was for teens and I was twelve-thirteen
Where did you get the book? School library, book fair, book store selling new and/or used books, flea market, borrowed from a friend, given as a gift from X person who is about Y age, or from an online store?
Read the book at the library.
Was it new when you read it?
I don’t know for sure.
What age range was it for?
Preteen- 16

This is gonna be a long post. I don't have health insurance and can't drive yet so this is the next best thing to therapy for me at the moment. I'll get the help I need when it's available to me, I promise.
I (17 M) had a dramatic falling out with two of my best friends back in December after they started dating (TL;DR I was extremely jealous and had an unhealthy emotional dependency with one of them which led me to lash out) and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.
I learned at some point that they planned to ghost me after graduation because dealing with my constant breakdowns was wearing them both down and trying to talk to me at that point was like walking on eggshells. Hearing that broke me, but I finally accepted the fact that I needed to let them both go because keeping that kind of relationship wasn't good for any of us. I was absolutely devastated, but after a while of not seeing them or interacting with them, I started to feel a lot better. I quit working at the same mall they both worked at and graduated high school, so I've had plenty of space and distance to focus on other things. But I still think about them and about what happened.
During that time when school was still happening, I felt genuine terror whenever I knew I'd see them or I caught a glimpse of either one of them or just beleived I was going to see them. This happened at the mall too. And even now, there's this resturaunt I overheard them saying they went to on a date and everytime I've went since, I felt the same dread thinking I might accidentally run into them. I went today and thought I saw one of them. I didn't freak out immediately but when I left, I started tearing up thinking about the whole thing again.
Also during that time when I couldn't avoid them completely, there were many days where I'd wake up and the first thing I'd think about was them and what happened. Many times during the day too, I'd have, what I'm assuming now, were flashbacks to specific events. I would get lost in thought thinking about memories related to that whole mess. It didn't help that I had multiple vivid nightmares about them and what happened. It got better over time when school was finally out because I wasn't constantly reminded of it, but I went to graduation a couple days ago (which I was already dreading because I knew they'd both be there), I ended up breaking down into tears after seeing them.
And I had a thought that after graduation was over, I'd go home and kill myself because there was no point in living if the only people I ever cared about were much happier without me in their lives. I wouldn't say I'm suicidal. I've thought about dying before because of other things in my life but it's never been something I actually want or ever plan to do. I'm a wimp. I can't even self-harm, even though I've tried many times over the years to build up a habit of cutting or burning myself. But the thought itself of being driven to suicide really scares me. It's like my mind is screaming at me to just fucking do it already. This isn't even the first time suicide has crossed mind when thinking about them. One time after school, I had a similar thought that in a couple years I'd be dead because I was nothing without them. Soon I'd lose all will to live and I'd be so miserable and alone I'd kill myself.
I always feel better after the feeling passes (usually this happens when I get distracted and quit thinking of them or they leave) and the idea of seriously killing myself always feels silly afterwards but those breif moments where the possibility of turning to suicide feels so real and the pain is immeasurable. I don't think about them that often anymore because I don't see them that often anymore and I probably won't ever see them again. Which is a good thing but it still hurts.
I feel like I can't fully heal or get over this because I don't even know what this is. I'm greiving, obviously, because they were very important people in my life, but I feel like everything else I felt and still feel is more than just greif. I feel bad labeling it as trauma because it sounds stupid to me to label petty high school drama as a traumatic experience and I don't want to put the blame on them for traumatizing me or whatever because I was in the wrong. I acted way out of line and they were right to want nothing to do with me at that point. But I get scared thinking that I might do the same things again with the few friends I still have. Or that I might do even worse things to future friends or future partners.
I realize that a lot of what I did and why I did it are because of underlying psychological issues I might have that've never been adressed before. My family has a history of anxiety, trauma, suicide ideation, and depression. Me personally, I can't handle rejection at all. I don't wanna sound like that guy that self-diagnoses himself with all these mental illnesses but I think I might suffer from RSD. The fear I feel at the slightest hint of rejection is so potent and primal, I feel like I lose control and I can't escape from the way my body feels. Which frustrates me because I know logically I shouldn't take things so personally. That's why this whole mess just makes me angry to think about. I hate myself for how I acted because I'd never do any of the stupid shit I did if I had the ability to step out of my body and act rationally instead of acting on instinct. I'm trying not to make this sound like I'm absolving myself of guilt by saying "I couldn't control myself" (maybe that's a manipulation tactic I subconsciously do, I don't know and it scares me to think I do such things without realizing it, I worry sometimes that I'm secretly a narcissist and people only like me because I've manipulated them into beleiving that I'm a good person that cares about them, which is also why this whole situation makes me so mad because I always try to scrutinize everything I say and do to make sure I'm not doing the thing I'm scared I'm doing and this whole thing is the result of me missing so many obvious red flags in myself that I was unfit to be around either of them at at all.)
I don't know. There's probably a lot wrong with me. That entire mess of how I think and feel doesn't always come up in my everyday life. I can function just fine most of the time but the few times I end up thinking about what happened in December and everything else in life revolving that giant mess, it almost feels disabling. I power through it whenever it happens and it's been happening less and less, but I'm still worried about the day where something bad will happen and this entire knot will unravel and I'll fall apart on the spot.
I just want answers. I want the words to explain what I feel or what this is or what's wrong with me so people understand what's happening with me and how to act accordingly. I want the ability to help myself so I don't do what I did with my friends and dump all of that emotional baggage onto them hoping they'd sort through my shit for me. I want to be able to catch myself before I do stupid things a second time. I want to be better.

I don’t know what to feel anymore I was “diagnosed?” Autistic 4 months ago and was told 2 days ago because my parents didn’t want to overwelm me ( welp I was and probably would be ether way) I still feel like my issues are not legit and the reason I say it in quotes is because I am getting like actual help and stuff and being treated as such from family and teachers but my issues are not “disabling enough “ in a way but my brother is like “dude you got issues you’ve been dealing with this shit forever and it is valid” like because I “””don’t have an issue with tags on clothes””” ( well kinda it’s weird) and I sometimes don’t outwardly express when I’m upset and I use my “””interests””” and video games to help that I’m just making myself look like this and stuff I just feel like I’m invalidating my friends and everyone here with my complaints and stuff like the doctors were like “ oh but they are good at socialising and know when people are upset “ and I just feel like I’m faking everything and this makes me want to hide from the world more I swear I wish there was a simulation thing where I could just live there forever and not have to deal with humans and stuff like socialising is weird but I “”script”” it and talk about my likes a shit tin if it’s family and stuff and I just don’t want to be around anyone out there but I don’t know if I’m saying that to seem cool or edgy but people are just fucking weird and I don’t know how to explain and than I would get “”jealous “” at autistic people and I just don’t fit in anywhere I’m so fucking scared to talk to my therapist because he could be like “well your issues are not that bad “ or something and what if I cry in front of him?! Or hid in the bathroom like one time and wast money or feel completely disconnected from him and shit? I’m terrified

(TLDR at the bottom)
Why I’m looking for a car
In the US, been working remote but now looking for a new job and due to decrease in remote jobs available I think I finally need to get my own car again. I’m not a car person, don’t love driving and it makes me nervous especially on highways (which are usually unavoidable), so I put it off as long as I could but am hitting a point where I feel stuck in my current circumstances and am wanting to get a car to open up my job opportunities and relocation options, as well as more flexibility in social/hobby activities outside of work.
My original goal was to buy a used ~$10K basic car for commuting, but it seems like I can get much more car for ~15-20K, but is it worth it? I probably would put a below average number of miles on it per year. I also want to make sure it isn’t going to be a money sink of frequent repairs and a short life span though.
What I’m looking for
When looking at $10-15K cars vs $16-25K, is the higher cost worth the extra investment? Priorities are safety and reliability. But I’d would rather save that additional $5-10K. I’d like to be able to keep relying on it for the next ten years. but I’m also afraid to overspend now in case I really need a vehicle change sooner in the future (I want my next car to be an EV, so I’d want this car to last me long enough at least till when buying an EV is widely affordable and has infrastructure for it to be dependable even without a home charger)
What I’ve looked at so far
After researching, it seems like a Toyota, Honda, or Mazda are reliable fit the bill perfectly for safety and reliability. Though I always see people on here saying Mazda 3s are cheaper but when I looked they seem to be just as expensive if not more expensive than Toyotas and Hondas with similar mileage and years but maybe I am misremembering and unequally comparing them. I also see that private pay is often a better deal, but based on my super basic understanding it seems like getting something from a dealer that has a warranty and quality assurance is worth the extra cost, is this true? I know so little about warranties and car shopping. CarMax is what I’m most familiar with, but I see better deals elsewhere though so idk if it’s worth the extra for how “easy” Carmax seems to be compared to the stories I hear of pushy sales people at traditional dealerships who charge for vaporous extras.
In pursuit of a safe purchase, my budget slowly inched its way into looking at 2018+ Corollas in the $18-20K range because it seemed like it could be worth it to pay extra to ensure reliability and lower risk of it being a regrettable investment and money sink, like “an extra $5-6K now is better than having more than that in repairs (+inconvenience) and a shorter life span over the coming years.” But then I saw somewhere a $22K used 2024 Corolla and felt like maybe that’s worth the extra 2K, and then from there saw I could get a new one for $2K more at about $24K, and it’d probably have a better warranty policy since its new and almost zero risk of wear issues. And then at that point, I can ask should I spend another couple thousand for a hatchback version or a hybrid? But then it hit me how far I got from my original price range and I feel lost and going back to looking at $10K cars but they look so risky. I’m cautious as far as the saying goes, “buy it nice or buy it twice.” Long story short, I’m willing to pay extra if it’s really worth it, but I want to be as financially prudent as well and avoid overspending since I don’t truly need an excessive car (I try to save most of my money where possible). I’d like to pay extra for safety and reliability if it’s worth it but I don’t know where the point of diminishing returns is for reliability.
I read somewhere that Nissans have sucked but also that as of 2020 they started having seemingly more reliable transmissions. Is that true? I was afraid to get a Nissan but even a new one is less than $17K so it seems like a very budget-friendly option. I was at one point looking at Kia/Hyundai for their lower prices, but then I discovered the whole issue of them being huge targets for crime, and my parking spot isn’t visible from my window so I’d be worried about leaving it out of sight like that, as well as potentially high insurance costs. Mitsubishi mirage is cheap and potentially reliable but also is apparently not safe (plus I’d feel terrified feeling like I’m in a golf cart on the highway haha).
TL;DR
When looking at $10-15K cars vs $16-25K, is the higher cost worth the extra investment? Priorities are safety and reliability.

Hello! Would love some perspective from those outside my industry and friend group. 33F living and working in NYC since I graduated from art school. I was already pretty burnt out on constantly churning out work by the time i graduated college that I didn't want to make it my full time career, so I pivoted into more production/project management/operations types roles. Fast forward 12 years post-graduation, I have a corporate job as a project manager for a marketing team. It's not a career I saw for myself when I was a 17 year old art goofball, but my natural ability to organize and structure work was one I saw fit to leverage, knowing that creatives are often brilliant but not terribly tactical.
I have been in my current role for about 5 years now (project manager) and have been feeling burnt out for the last 3. I have repeatedly asked for a hire to support me so I am not spread so thin, but am constantly told no, and more and more work just gets added to my plate. I don't feel there are any growth opportunities left for me. My team is great and easy to work with, but being their defender sometimes gets tiring. I am aware it is a thankless, somewhat invisible job, which doesn't make it easier. The longer I stay, the longer I feel gross about being in a corporate role. Constant business jargon, endless meetings, bowing to shareholder demands, and most recently, being asked to prioritize the business (to what I personally feel is at the expense of the people). I find my fuse getting shorter. I seem to have a reputation for being tough and am often telling people things they don't want to hear - but that's the nature of the job. I have been applying for jobs consistently for the past year but have gotten little to no traction - the market is tougher than I've seen in my lifetime, and it seems my field is quite competitive. My husband is in the non-profit world and he works just as hard as me, but I see differences in how his company treats him and has not hesitated to get him help when he's asked (I do think maybe this company is one in a million). Plus, at least he's helping people.
Its worth noting that I have generalized anxiety/depression and coupled with a shrinking support system (friends moving away, having children, etc), I don't feel much joy in most things. I've been in therapy for the past 10 years. I was on SSRIs for 4 years and just recently transitioned off of them. Not sure if my malaise is a rebound from that, or just the circumstances of living in a world that gets harsher every day. I am often too drained from work (and admittedly, my work life balance has suffered lately as I feel I need to work late to keep my workload afloat). Usually after work, I feel too drained to pursue hobbies (other than reading in bed, because I don't have to do much). I try to keep my exercise somewhat consistent, because I feel if I quit on that, I would crash and burn.
I need something to change but I don't know where to start. People tell me all the time to 'care less' and 'do less' and 'let things fall apart', but my high functioning anxiety seems to block that from being a real possibility. With an unforgiving job market, a job that seems to be on the verge of soul sucking, and seemingly no prospects...I am not sure where this leaves me. I'm a voracious reader, a big lover of making things, but when I think about monetizing those interests (baking, crafts - embroidery and quilting), I worry that they will suffer a similar fate as my art did, and I will lose interest entirely.