Please help! My MT exam is less than a week a away! I am not clear on what 词语 can be tested. Is it all the 词语 from sec 1-4. Becos the 词语 list that my teacher gave us has around 390 individual phrases. It would be absurd for them to think that we would know all near 400 phrases right? That would be insane right? What's more, I believe my teacher mentioned that it is possible none of the 词语 would be used. THATS CRAZY. The thing is, I refuse to believe that they would even FATHOM testing words that AB-SO-LUTE-LY no one except native speakers from China would know. However, I checked the 词语替换 practice on SLS, only like one phrase was from the textbook, the rest is at the time of you would have to know. Aside from that, I also checked the specimen paper, where majority phrases also not from 词语表。Its like SEAB trying to kill us leh. Please give me an answer and put my mind at rest cause i damn fed up sia.

I’ve made posts on here before about how unstable AP is. They have constantly caused issues and have tried reaching out anytime they get the chance even when blocked. They will create fake numbers and social media accounts to stalk us and get their friends to do so. They originally messaged me claiming they had “no idea my WP was with someone else”, only to find out that was a lie and they essentially have begun stalking me now too.
My WP claimed AP SA’d them later on. When AP reached out to me and wanted to meet up to show me “proof” of my WP cheating, they touched me inappropriately multiple times despite me asking over and over for them to stop and even then tried to full on have sex with me. This resulted in me getting out of there as soon as I could, which was extremely hard to do with how they were behaving.
My WP knows this and they also know I have a lot of trauma from being SA’d in the past, so this really hit home for me and my mental health hasn’t been very well over it. Instead of being supportive, they have actually just continued to accuse me over and over of “probably lying about it because I most likely slept with AP and am hiding the truth”. They constantly tell me they have “no reason to believe me” and that “maybe I shouldn’t have gone to AP’s house in the first place”.
This hurts on such a deep level I can’t even describe it to you. I have not been sure if I’ve wanted to re-enter into R with my WP for awhile now. They keep insisting on trying for R, but there’s just been so much damage. The reason I’m writing this post though, is because I found out tonight they unblocked AP again and have been talking to them. This started last Sunday when they told me that “AP tried calling them, but they didn’t answer and AP is blocked anyway, but their phone lets them see when blocked numbers call them”.
This didn’t make any sense to me, because while I know their phone does in fact show in the call log if a blocked number has tried to call, it wouldn’t ring/go through, and they gave away that the phone did ring by saying they “didn’t answer it”. So obviously AP was not blocked, but I knew prying wasn’t going to make them be honest with me about it. I tried move on from this best I could, until a few days ago they decided to tell me what actually happened. They told me they never blocked AP because they “forgot”, and that AP actually texted them and they had a full blown conversation, but that they told AP they didn’t want them in their life whatsoever.
They told me AP then tried to call, but WP didn’t answer and blocked them. As if that wasn’t enough, tonight I find out that they unblocked AP and talked to them again. When I asked why they unblocked them at all, they said “to see if AP would listen”. So I asked what they said to them since it sounds like they messaged AP first. They swore up and down AP messaged first, which makes no sense because then why would you unblock them to “see if they would listen”? Listen to what? They claimed they wanted to “see if AP would listen and not message them, since my WP told them to not reach out again the last time they spoke to AP”.
I tried asking more details, to which none of the answers made any sense and they were half-assed. They told me it sounds like AP is “keeping tabs on them which was unsettling”, but they didn’t further elaborate and honestly that adds up because AP has stalked both of us for close to a year. They said they blocked AP again. I lost it. I told them they obviously unblocked them because they want this person around, want to talk to them or at the very least enjoy the attention they’re getting from them.
WP got mad and said that wasn’t the case, but I told them there’s no other reasoning for them to unblock them. If they genuinely didn’t want AP around and were as unsettled by AP’s actions as they’ve claimed to be, they wouldn’t be unblocking them just to “see if they would listen and not reach out like they said they would”. Why would you even want to know if this person reached out at all? This makes zero sense and nobody who genuinely didn’t want to speak to someone would do this.
What hurts me the most though, is they are actively keeping a person around who they know tried to SA me. They know this person makes me feel uncomfortable and severely stressed out. They know this person has posed a physical danger to me and apparently SA’d them too, so why are they keeping them around? Why do they want to be engaging with someone like that?
I told them I don’t want them in my life anymore. I told them to do whatever they want, but to keep me out of it and to not contact me again. I told them if I ever am contacted again by AP or their friends or if I see them around here, I will be calling police. They haven’t responded and to be honest, I’m just a mess. I was debating R and now I don’t think that’s an option whatsoever anymore. How could anyone do this to someone they claim to love?

“What defines virtue and how are we to gauge it? An inquiry that reverberates through epochs, its answer as fickle and capricious as the fates of those who deem to ask it. Duty, honor, justice - many over the ages would name these virtues, the conduits through which noble intentions find expression. Yet, as the battlefield of beliefs unfolds, a legion emerges, each as sworn to these principles as to obliterating all who would dare stake alike claim. Thus, battles rage and wars are waged and, in the end, those who are left are no more right than those fell by the blade. Alas, it is the victors whose ideals are etched into monuments for posterity. Except even words chiseled in unyielding stone are fated to fade in time. So is the wicked cycle destined to repeat in all its futility, its ephemeral prize seized again, only to be lost and sought anew. Try and picture, if for but a moment, a world where our rulers paused to reflect on the lessons of yore. They, too, would discern the elixir that enables one to escape the confines of memory—the very burden our fleeting nature forbids us to carry. Progress and evolution. Adaptability and transcendence. Everlasting and yet not stagnant, irrefutable, and yet fluid, these are the only true virtues. Thus, must we ever venture into the uncharted and unfamiliar for only from these unexplored domains may the truly virtuous arise.”
Where: Discord (Video and Voice) + FoundryVTT
When: every Saturday 5 - 9/10 pm GMT+1 (CET), 11 am - 3/4 pm EST
Who: party of 4 players and a DM seeking one extra player
Updates: Recruitment updates will be posted here.
Hello there and well met! If you’ve made it past the flavor text (or skipped it) and through the basic info (hopefully didnt skip past that one) you might very well be at the right address! Without further ado onto the post.

🐲The campaign🐲

Having only just recovered from the Second Sundering and the War of the Silver Marches, the North had been ravaged by a whole new set of tumultuous events - the rise of the Cult of the Dragon and that of the Absolute, the Fall of Eltruel and the short reign of the beholder crime lord Xanathar just some among them. After a brief respite from the twisted and the unnatural the clouds once more begin to gather. Along the Long Road, whole hosts of wild beasts and monsters have been accosting travelers seemingly at random and in the grand metropolis of Waterdeep a sudden rise in crime seems to coincide with strange events passing unnoticed beneath the surface. Amidst all this, in spring of 1493 DR, a party of adventurers delves into a mystery of enchanted gemstones being utilized to nefarious ends by unknown perpetrators all the while navigating the labyrinthine twists of city faction politics.
As implied by the post title, this is an ongoing campaign (we are 12 sessions in at the time of this post). Due to some irl commitments weve recently dropped a player and are looking to replace them.
As the title suggests, this is a roleplay focused mystery/lore driven campaign. Expect an overreaching plot with ample secrets to uncover, conspiracies to unravel and eldritch truths to unearth. The first word of the password is "Doth". On the same level of importance or more important even be that the players preference, there is a variety of subplots to engage with, from small and goofy and random to ones rivaling the main story arc in complexity and variance. Among these, individual character story arcs play a leading role, at times seamlessly intertwined with the current focus of the party, at times separate and independent.
As was already mentioned and is further described below, this is a roleplay focused campaign and a roleplay heavy game. This means that roleplay exists as a unifying concept for all other aspects of the game including exploration, combat, and puzzles. That said DnD is only DnD with all three of its main pillars intact and this campaign is no exception in that regard. I very much enjoy the mechanical side of the game as well besides roleplay and so things like multiphase boss fights and custom magic items are definitely on the table.

🧙‍♂️The DM🧙‍♂️

Hello there, Jay here, 25 yo law student from Central Europe currently working on finishing his master’s degree, trying to stay afloat in the current lease market. I study and work in a law firm by day and DM or play DnD by night (more like evening but night sounded cooler). I have been a big fan of TTRPGs since my early teens and of online DnD for the past five years. I’ve DMed multiple campaigns, finished CoS not least among them and I currently play in a long-term campaign. Before you ask, yes, my schedule is strained but not to the point I am unable to engage with my hobbies.
I would describe my DMing style as driven, realistic, and involved but also very conscious about player agency and collaborative storytelling as core values that make TTRPGs so popular and unique. I spend a lot of time ensuring the worlds I create and the stories I want to tell feel alive. From hand-picked music, to fully voiced NPCs and scenic descriptions designed to breathe life into the campaign setting I daresay my games rival in quality those of the professional DMs that charge for each session.
There is a drawback to this all however. Second word of the password is "thy". I expect a lot from my players as well. Writing a story in DnD is not a one person job. It takes a collective effort of the entire group to create something truly unique, something that one can be proud while looking forward to each session. Unwinding and letting off steam means something else for everyone. For me it means losing myself in the creative process of roleplaying an NPC or describing a scene, watching my players masterfully portray their own characters or having the party derail my plans in an awesome unforeseen and unexpectedly enriching way. If you find yourself in any of what I just described than this may be a game for you. If you don’t, that’s fine. This is definitely not a game for everyone.

🏰The setting🏰

Forgotten Realms is a default setting of Dungeons and Dragons but it is anything but boring and mundane. With now decades worth of lore behind it, it offers an unparalleled opportunity for anyone wanting to build on solid foundations to bring their ideas to life. While it has garnered a lot of attention lately with the release of a certain videogame (more people now know Astarion than a good amount of Hollywood celebrities I’d say) it has had its loyal following even before then, being constantly expanded and living its own life in a host of both online and home games. It’s been a natural choice of mine for a while now and not once have I had any regrets. The third word of the password is "mirror". I feel with how great of a variety of content the Forgotten Realms offer everybody is able to pick something that suits their creative vision. In summary the Forgotten Realms almost feel like a real place with how much worldbuilding has been done with them and offer a diversity of content few other TTRPG settings can boast.
When it comes to setting of the campaign in the world of Faerun I have once again made a somewhat traditional pick and decided to place the onset of the game onto the Sword Coast, more precisely into the city of Waterdeep. If one of the key upsides of Forgotten Realms is diversity of content, Waterdeep is one of the best representations of this. Being the largest settlement on the known Faerun, Waterdeep offers nigh limitless options in terms of main story arc genre, character creation and character backstory implementation. It has everything every large TTRPG settlement ought to have (fickle upper class, enigmatic factions, quaint taverns and extravagant nightclubs, always in bad mood city watch, a castle and a harbor) as well as few pretty original ideas such as colossal definitely not alive statues, a city council where even its members don’t know each other’s identity and a massive dungeon right underneath the city where you can literally fall right from a tavern taproom.
In case you are wondering, while this campagn takes place primarily in the city of Waterdeep itself, there is nothing stopping the players from exploring past the city if they so choose. The final word of the password is "crack?". Different parts of the main plot and various subplots can and will encourage the party to explore Waterdeep environs and sometimes even further.

📃The requirements📃

No exceptions here. Unless otherwise stated, the requirements must be met at the time of application.

• to apply you need to be 20+ yo
• you need a functioning webcam (at the time of application) and a stable internet connection - we will be using both video and voice on discord and as a general rule Wifi doesn’t handle long video calls well (believe me when I say I speak from experience) so cable or other similar form of stable connection is strongly encouraged
• you need a Discord account and you will need a Forge account - Forge is a hosting service for Foundry, don’t worry, you won’t need to input any personal info (besides maybe an email) to register and I will be footing the bill
• you need a PC that can and will run Foundry Virtual Tabletop - check the minimum requirements on the Foundry website, a fair warning, Foundry won’t run on tablets and phones (not that you should consider those in the first place)
• you need at least an elementary knowledge of Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition - when it comes to the awareness of the rules, I won’t be too harsh, but definitely don’t apply if the first time you’ve seen the PHB was a week ago
• you need TTRPG/roleplay experience and/or a very strong roleplay inclination - this is a heavy roleplay game where most if not all ingame talk will be done in character and where you will be expected to voice your character in a way that is distinct from your standard voice
• you will need to be very punctual when it comes to session attendance - I expect my players to attend most if not all sessions, online or not, this campaign is a designed as a longterm commitment and by applying you are acknowledging this, having other hobbies and time-consuming real-life obligations is understandable (I got those too) but those 4-5 hours you will be expected to set aside for the session

🙋‍♂️How to sign up🙋‍♀️

Youve made it all the way to the end of this long post. Congratulations. Or maybe you’ve skipped all the way to the end. In that case I strongly recommended you go back. If not to learn what you are applying for than to make sure you haven’t missed something very important. Now if you are confident that you have what it takes and that this is a game that you could have a lot of fun with, please fill the below attached google questionnaire (if for any strange reason the link doesn’t end up working, please let me know in the comments under this post) and if fortune favors you, I shall get back to you promptly. Best of luck to you and I hope to speak to you soon!
https://forms.gle/5kc4RbwavJPfT8PD9
______________________________________
PS: As a part of the questionnaire, you will be asked to submit a short piece of your narrative writing in a form of a google doc link (not a custom piece of writing, any relevant past one you have will do). Maybe best have that ready beforehand? On that note, dont apply for the game with a detailed backstory of a character you want to play that you arent willing to adapt to the conditions of the setting/campaign.
PSS: Not to discourage you but if you do make it through the questionnaire and into the second group of applicants you will be asked to do a discord interview with your webcam turned on. I am asking you to go through a lot for a game you might not even end up liking I know, but if you do end up liking it, all this effort will be well worth it as I am sure my other players would agree.

Ministers apologise and return £7,000 in benefits to woman, 93, with dementia
Government ministers have formally apologised and repaid £7,000 to a 93-year-old woman whom they held responsible for running up benefits overpayment debts even though they were told she had dementia and was unable to manage her affairs.
The case, which the minister for disability, Mims Davies, admitted was “disturbing”, was brought to light by the Guardian as part of its investigation into carer's allowance overpayments.
The agreement to write off the debt of the 93-year-old, whom the Guardian has chosen not to name, comes as ministers have promised to try new ways of sharing information with carers to try to prevent them building up months and years of overpayments.
Read the full article on theguardian.com
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DWP confirmed that it is developing an ‘enhanced notification strategy’ to alert carer’s allowance claimants to possible overpayments
Notifications designed to encourage claimants to report changes in income and so reduce the risk of being overpaid.
As part of its policy paper, Fighting Fraud in the Welfare System: Going Further, that was published earlier this week, the Department says (at paragraph 78) -

'In carer’s allowance we are progressing an enhanced notification strategy as part of our existing commitment to improve customer engagement, building on our existing communications with customers. As part of this notification strategy we are considering all forms of targeted contact to find the most effective and efficient solution, such as exploring the use of targeted text messages or emails to alert claimants and encourage them to contact the Department when the DWP is made aware of a potential overpayment.'

The Department added -

'The new strategy will help claimants understand when they may have received an earnings-related overpayment or are at risk of doing so, and will encourage claimants to contact the DWP to meet their obligation to inform the Department of changes in their income and other relevant circumstances. This will reduce the risk of those customers being overpaid.'

Note: having expressed concern that the DWP had 'done nothing' to stop carers building up huge overpayments of benefit despite knowing what people are earning, Work and Pensions Committee Chair Stephen Timms called on the National Audit Office to investigate problems with the carer's allowance system and, in particular, its failure to prevent or rectify overpayments.
Stephen Timms has also written to Secretary for State for Work and Pensions Mel Stride highlighting concerns about the DWP's lack of progress with overpayments since the previous committee's report in 2019. Mr Timms' letter repeats the committee's recommendation that the DWP increase the rate of carer's allowance and goes on to call for the DWP to review both the amount and the cliff-edge nature of the earnings limit and for the removal of the 21-hour study rule.
For more information, see Policy paper: Fighting Fraud in the Welfare System: Going Further from gov.uk
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Carers UK has welcomed the DWP's plans, noting this is the 'minimum' they've been calling for to tackle carers' overpayments. However, Director of Policy and Public Affairs Emily Holzhausen also highlights that implementing the strategy is 'urgent', asks that the whole issue be moved out of being branded benefits fraud, and that carer's allowance be reviewed as it should be 'modernised to reflect the realities of caring'.
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DWP-commissioned research highlights how the carer’s allowance earnings threshold influences decisions about how many hours carers work
Report also makes clear that the Department was made aware three years ago that there was room to improve claimant understanding and possibly reduce mistakes leading to overpayments by improving its communications.
The research, Experiences of claiming and receiving carer’s allowance, explores how and why people claim carer's allowance; their caring roles; experiences of combining paid work and care; and how well claimants understand the rules associated with the benefit. While carried out in 2020/2021, the research has been published today against a backdrop of calls for the wholescale reform of carer's allowance as a result of evidence that claimants who have earned above the carer's allowance earnings limit have been left with large overpayments and, in some cases, prosecuted for fraud.
While the research found that many claimants in employment felt there was a practical limit to the hours they could work, with many saying it was only feasible to be working part-time due to their caring responsibilities, it also found that -

• the earnings threshold appeared to influence decisions about how many hours some people worked. Even though claimants often denied that the threshold influenced their choices, they acknowledged being mindful to stay below the threshold. One claimant felt he had to refuse shifts at work that would take him over the threshold;
• in another example, the earnings limit led a claimant to reduce her hours as her wages increased, and eventually she was working so few hours that her employer felt it was not worth employing her due to her limited availability; and
• some claimants in paid work felt they might work more hours if not for the earnings threshold, and even suggested tapering the carer’s allowance earnings rule to encourage claimants to work more.

Published on the same day that the Work and Pensions Select Committee said that there has been insufficient progress in addressing the problems with carer's allowance that it highlighted five years ago, the research makes clear that the Department has been aware of the issues for some time. For example, it highlights confusion relating to the complexity of the earnings calculation, including how deductions such as childcare expenses and pension contributions are taken account of, and whether wages can be averaged if you earn more in a particular week.
In addition, with the Chair of the Select Committee Stephen Timms having said recently that the DWP has done nothing to stop carers building up huge overpayments despite knowing what people are earning, and the Committee having called on the National Audit Office to investigate the problems with the system, the research found that -

• poor communication on the part of the DWP meant that not all of those that had been overpaid benefit were clear on the reason for the overpayment;
• some said that while they were initially notified or questioned about an overpayment there was then no follow-up from the Department; and
• when the overpayment was initially raised, several claimants felt that they were spoken to or treated by DWP as though they had intentionally committed fraud when the overpayment had been a misunderstanding.

As a result, the research says -

'... there is room to improve claimant understanding and possibly reduce mistakes leading to overpayments by improving communications around eligibility criteria. Since claimants did not engage with the detail of their benefit regularly, possibly only considering it once a year when they received their annual letter, more frequent communications may improve clarity of knowledge around carer’s allowance.'

Other key findings include that -

• most claimants cared for close relatives, with two in five caring for a child (39 per cent), a quarter caring for a spouse or partner (25 per cent), and one in five (22 per cent) caring for a parent;
• caring was a long-term and high-intensity commitment, with half of claimants (52 per cent) spending 65 or more hours caring per week and more than half (54 per cent) caring for between 5 and 20 years;
• only 16 per cent of carer's allowance claimants were currently in paid work, tending to work part- time in lower paid jobs that they were able to fit around their caring responsibilities, with most (81 per cent) working 20 hours or less a week;
• of those not currently in paid work, seven in ten (69 per cent) said this was due to their responsibilities as a carer, with other barriers including a lack of flexible working options, claimants’ own health and confidence issues; and
• there was a lag between starting caring and claiming carer's allowance, with seven in ten claimants (70 per cent) caring for 5+ years, but only 3 in 10 (34 per cent) having claimed carer's allowance for that length of time.

For more information, see Experiences of claiming and receiving carer’s allowance from gov.uk
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Almost 135,000 people currently have an outstanding carer's allowance debt, with more than £250 million owed in total, according to figures supplied by DWP Minister Paul Maynard
DWP Minister also confirms that women represent 68 per cent of those with an outstanding debt.
Responding to a written question in Parliament from Work and Pensions Committee Chair Stephen Timms, Mr Maynard said -

'As of 14 May 2024, the volume of people who have an outstanding carers allowance debt is 134,800 with a total value of £251 million. This figure represents the total stock and as such the total monetary amount may have been accrued over multiple years. Those who have an outstanding carers allowance debt may no longer be in receipt of the benefit.'

Mr Maynard added that -

'Women make up the majority of carer’s allowance claims, and this is reflected in the proportion of those with an outstanding carer’s allowance debt. As of 14 May 2024, there were 42,800 (32 per cent) males, 91,900 (68 per cent) females and 100 (less than 1 per cent) not identified, with an outstanding carer's allowance debt.'

The Minister also confirmed that, as of November 2023, there were more than 991,000 people in receipt of carer's allowance, consisting of around 271,000 (27 per cent) males and 720,000 (73 per cent) females.
Mr Maynard's written answer is available from parliament.uk
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Total value of benefit overpayments in 2023/2024 increased to almost £10 billion, representing 3.7 per cent of benefit expenditure for the year
New DWP figures also show that official error underpayments remained at around £1 billion, and that people could have claimed more than £3 billion more 'if they had provided accurate information about their circumstances'.
In Fraud and error in the benefit system: financial year 2023 to 2024 estimates, the DWP calculates how much money it overpaid or underpaid as a percentage of total benefit expenditure for the year (£266.2bn) - for benefits including universal credit, housing benefit, personal independence payment, employment and support allowance and pension credit - and how many claims were paid an incorrect amount.
Note: the statistics no longer include estimates of claimant error underpayments as these are now published separately, as confirmed in recent DWP guidance.
In relation to incorrect payment rates across all benefits for the financial year ending (FYE) 2024, the figures show that the total rate of benefit expenditure overpaid was 3.7 per cent (£9.7bn), compared with 3.6 per cent (£8.3bn) in 2022/2023. In addition, the total rate of benefit expenditure underpaid was 0.4 per cent (£1.1bn), compared with 0.5 per cent (£1.2bn) in FYE 2023.
Looking in more detail at the figures for individual benefits, the statistics include data showing that -

• for universal credit, expenditure increased to £51.9bn in 2024 with an overpayment rate of 12.4 per cent (£6.5bn) and underpayment rate of 0.3 per cent (£180m), compared to expenditure of £43.4 bn, overpayments at 12.7 per cent (£5.5bn) and underpayments at 0.6 per cent (£240m) in FYE 2023;
• for personal independence payment (PIP), the overpayment rate was at the lowest recorded level of 0.4 per cent (£90m), compared with 1.1 per cent (£200m) in FYE 2023. However, the underpayment rate went up to 0.4 per cent (£80m), from 0.3 per cent (£60m) the previous year;
• for pension credit, the overpayment rate was 9.7 per cent (£520m) in FYE 2024, compared with 6.8 per cent (£330m) in the previous year, with underpayments remaining unchanged at 0.3 per cent (£50m) for both years; and
• for housing benefit, almost £1bn (£980m) was overpaid in FYE 2024 (6.3 per cent of expenditure), compared with £860m (5.7 per cent) in 2023. Underpayments remained stable at 0.4 per cent of spending (£50m in FYE 2024 and £60m in FYE 2023).

In addition to the fraud and error statistics, the DWP has also issued Unfulfilled eligibility in the benefit system: Financial Year Ending (FYE) 2024, in line with its decision to remove claimant underpayments from its main fraud and error estimates. The new statistics set out the percentage of benefit expenditure that could have been paid to people with unfulfilled eligibility 'if they had provided the correct information', and show key findings that include -

• the unfulfilled eligibility rate for 2024 is 1.2 per cent of expenditure (£3.1bn), compared with 1.0 per cent (£2.3bn) in the previous year; and
• universal credit, PIP and disability living allowance (DLA) account for around three-quarters of the total value of unfulfilled eligibility (at £730m, £870m and £750m respectively in FYE 2024).

The DWP highlighted that -

'PIP has the second highest unfulfilled eligibility rate [4 per cent] of all benefits and fairly high expenditure [£21.6bn], so due to this combination, PIP accounts for around one-quarter of total unfulfilled eligibility in FYE 2024. DLA has the highest unfulfilled eligibility rate [11.1 per cent] but relatively low expenditure [£6.8m], so even though its rate is higher than PIP, it accounts for a similar amount of total unfulfilled eligibility in FYE 2024. Universal credit has a lower unfulfilled eligibility rate than DLA and PIP [1.4 per cent] but its high expenditure means that it also accounts for a similar amount of total unfulfilled eligibility in FYE 2024.'

For more information, see Fraud and error in the benefit system: financial year 2023 to 2024 estimates and Unfulfilled eligibility in the benefit system: financial year 2023 to 2024 estimates from gov.uk
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Work and Pensions Secretary Mel Stride has set out the DWP's plans to scale up its 'fight against fraudsters'
New measures include using machine learning to detect and prevent fraudulent claims, as well as introducing a new Bill to enable benefit fraud to be treated like tax fraud.
Issuing a written statement in the House of Commons on 13th May, Mr Stride said -

'In the continued fight against fraud, today the Government will publish a new paper setting out the progress we have made in tackling fraud and error in the welfare system - Fighting Fraud in the Welfare System: Going Further. The paper sets out the progress we have made in delivering the commitments in the Government's 2022 command paper Fighting Fraud in the Welfare System and it demonstrates where we are going further to protect taxpayers’ money from fraudsters.'

Highlighting that the Data Protection and Digital Information Bill, currently before Parliament, will enable the Department to work with third parties such as banks to identify claims that signal potential fraud and error, Mr Stride says that the new measures being introduced include -

• bringing forward a new Fraud Bill in the next parliament to treat benefit fraud like tax fraud, by providing for the ability to make arrests and conduct searches and seizures by warrant;
• exploring a new civil penalty to punish fraudsters, potentially broadening the scope of cases that can receive a penalty when the courts are not prosecuting, and increasing the value of the civil penalty;
• tripling the size of the Targeted Case Review programme to reach almost 6,000 staff with the aim of saving £6.6 billion by 2027/2028; and
• making changes to universal credit including new partly automated checks on self-employed income, new online prompts for claimants to re-declare their circumstances (such as if they have moved in with a partner), and increasing checks on capital when people claim the benefit to ensure they are eligible.

Note: the Department confirms that final decisions on accepting or stopping a claim will, however, continue to be made by a member of DWP staff.
For more information, see DWP updates Fraud Plan from gov.uk
In response to the above article the Disability News Service reported that the government's fraud policy paper ignores coroner’s concerns over review of disabled woman’s universal credit claim. Read the DNS article on disabilitynewsservice.com
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Less than half of legacy benefit claimants who were sent a migration notice between July 2022 and March 2024 have made a claim for universal credit, according to new figures from the DWP
However, new DWP statistics also show that 60 per cent of households that claimed universal credit have been awarded transitional protection.
In Completing the move to Universal Credit: statistics related to the move of households claiming Tax Credits and DWP benefits to Universal Credit: data to end of March 2024, the DWP sets out figures for the period since July 2022, noting that -

'In the period covered by this bulletin, the vast majority of migration notices have been sent to tax credit households whose likelihood of claiming universal credit and receiving transitional protection may be different from DWP legacy benefit claimants, the majority of whom had not yet been sent a migration notice in the period covered in this bulletin.'

The statistics include that -

• a total of 824,050 individuals (in 540,070 households) were sent migration notices up to March 2024 - up by around 300,000 and 200,000 respectively compared to the totals for December 2023;
• a total of 400,940 individuals (49 per cent of those sent migration notices), living in 275,980 households, have made a claim for universal credit;
• of households that have claimed universal credit, 166,860 (60 per cent) have been awarded transitional protection;
• a total of 238,990 individuals who were sent migration notices are still going through the managed migration process; and
• a total of 184,120 individuals who were sent migration notices have had their legacy benefit claims closed.

Move to Universal Credit statistics, July 2022 to March 2024 is available from gov.uk
Note: the DWP has also published Universal Credit statistics, 29 April 2013 to 11 April 2024­ which show that there were 6.7 million people on universal credit in April 2024 (300,000 more than the 6.4 million in January 2024) and that half of households on universal credit that received a payment in February 2024 included children.
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Department for Communities also confirms that claimants in receipt of other legacy benefits will be issued with migration notices 'in the coming months'
The Department for Communities (DfC) has confirmed that the 'Move to UC' rollout in Northern Ireland has expanded this week to include people receiving tax credits along with housing benefit.
Announcing the expansion of the process, Deputy Secretary of Work and Health at the DfC Paddy Rooney said -

'We continue to take a measured and carefully managed approach to migrating legacy benefit recipients to universal credit. We have already successfully completed issuing migration notices to tax credit only recipients and we will continue to take every step possible to ensure that everyone receives the help and support they need during this next phase of Move to UC.'

The Department also confirmed that once it has issued migration notices to all those receiving tax credits with housing benefit, the following groups will be contacted in this order -

• people claiming income support;
• people claiming housing benefit only, and those claiming child tax credit with income-related employment and support allowance (ESA); and
• people claiming income-based jobseeker's allowance.

In relation to the bringing forward of managed migration for ESA and ESA/housing benefit claimants in Great Britain, announced by the Prime Minister on 19 April 2024, the DfC says that it is working to assess the impact of this on the region. It also confirms that it will align with the DWP's aim to complete the migration of legacy benefit claimants to universal credit by March 2025.
For more information, see Tax credit with housing benefit recipients next to 'Move to UC' and Rollout of Universal Credit for Tax Credit and Legacy Benefit customers - screening from ni.gov.uk
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57,000 adverse universal credit sanction decisions were made in January 2024, according to new DWP statistics
DWP statistics also highlight that around 95 per cent of decisions are as a result of failure to attend or participate in a mandatory interview.
In Benefit sanctions statistics to February 2024, the DWP reports on both the rate and duration of sanctions for universal credit claimants who are in conditionality regimes where they be applied.
Key findings include that -

• in February 2024, 30.1 per cent of claimants were in conditionality regimes that were subject to sanctions and, of these, 6.52 per cent were sanctioned - down 0.64 percentage points from the previous quarter;
• over the last year, 94.9 per cent of adverse sanction decisions were for failure to attend or participate in a mandatory interview; and
• in February 2024, there were 20,000 completed sanctions in the 4 weeks to 13 weeks sanction duration band, 4,800 in the over 13 weeks to 26 weeks duration band, and 4,000 of over 26 weeks duration.

In addition, while the total number of claimants in conditionality regimes where sanctions can be applied has remained largely stable since May 2022 (currently at 1.95 million), the total number of adverse sanction decisions stood at 57,000 in January 2024, the highest since March 2022.
The DWP notes that -

'Comparisons with universal credit prior to February 2024 ... should not be made. This is because the data sources, methodology and rules of the benefits differ from those used for universal credit currently.'

However, it adds that, following the reinstated duration measures and rate methodology improvements, the data is now determined stable and fit for purpose and, as of May 2024, it is published under the 'Official Statistics' label as opposed to 'in development'.
For more information, see Benefit sanctions statistics to February 2024 from gov.uk
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DWP has admitted missing multiple opportunities to record the 'vulnerability' of a disabled woman whose death was later linked by a coroner to failings at the heart of its UC system
The Disability News Service reported on the case of Nazerine (known as Naz) Anderson, from Melton Mowbray, who died of an overdose in June last year, after receiving a UC review notice.
According to a prevention of future deaths (PFD) report sent to the department by coroner Fiona Butler, the DWP missed six opportunities to record Anderson’s “vulnerability” on its IT system while it was reviewing her universal credit claim, and had failed to act on the mental distress she showed in phone calls about her claim. It also repeatedly failed to act on requests to direct its telephone calls and letters to her daughter.
The DWP admits multiple universal credit failures before disabled woman’s death article is available on disabilitynewsservice.com
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Number of emergency food parcels distributed across the UK by the Trussell Trust has increased by 90 per cent over the past five years
Food charity reports that it distributed more than three million parcels last year, with more than a million of them going to children.
In Emergency food parcel distribution in the UK: April 2023 - March 2024, the Trust says that it distributed 3,121,404 food parcels, the most parcels that it has ever distributed in a financial year, representing a four per cent increase on last year's record-breaking numbers for 2022/2023 and a 94 per cent increase since 2018/2019.
The charity also highlights that the number of parcels provided to children has continued to rise, exceeding 1.1 million in 2023/2024, and that food bank support is provided disproportionately to children, compared to the proportion of children in the UK population. In addition, it notes that pension age households are increasingly likely to need to use a food bank, with food bank support for these households having more than quadrupled between 2018/2019 and 2023/2024 (an increase of 345 per cent), compared to an 81 per cent rise amongst households without someone of pension age.
Also sharing statistics on the reason for referral for an emergency food parcel - which include health, benefit issues, work hour changes, insecure housing, changes in personal circumstances, immigration status and domestic abuse, as well as income and debt levels - the Trussell Trust says -

'Across all households the most common reason for referral was due to issues with income and debt levels. The vital role of the social security system in driving these trends is clear from the fact that the majority (78 per cent) of people referred to food banks were reported to solely have income from the social security system, with a further 8 per cent having earned income as well as income from social security.'

Trussell Trust Chief Executive Emma Revie said -

'It’s 2024 and we’re facing historically high levels of food bank need. As a society, we cannot allow this to continue. We must not let food banks become the new norm ... A supportive social security system is the bedrock on which we end hunger for good. Building on this, we need much more effective employment and financial support for parents, carers and disabled people, and action to ensure everyone can have the security we all need to access opportunities and have hope for the future, through more secure and flexible jobs and investment in social housing. Food banks are not the answer. They will be there to support people as long as they are needed, but our political leaders must take bold action to build a future where everyone has enough money to afford the life’s essentials. The time to act is now.'

For more information, see End of Year Stats from trusselltrust.org
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Employment Minister Jo Churchill has provided a House of Lords Select Committee with an undertaking that the administrative earnings threshold (AET) in universal credit will not be increased again without a 'sound evidence base'
However, Minister's evidence to Lords Committee fails to address its dissatisfaction with DWP's explanation for not publishing robust evidence to support previous increases in the threshold.
Further to the Lords Secondary Legislation Scrutiny Committee's report on new regulations that implemented a further increase in the AET from 13 May 2024 - that criticised the ‘inexplicable’ lack of data evaluating previous increases in the threshold in September 2022 and January 2023 - the Committee held a one-off evidence session yesterday to question the Minister and DWP officials.
Introducing the session, Committee Chair Lord Hunt acknowledged that the DWP had agreed to share its informal findings supporting its AET policy. However Lord Hunt added that -

'... similar, no doubt to the material that the Social Security Advisory Committee saw but correctly declined, if information is not available to the House and the public, then we feel unable to consider it either.'

The Committee then questioned the Minister about the Department's failure to publish evidence providing an assessment of the impact of increasing the AET either before or after implementing the change.
In response, Ms Churchill highlighted that the Department did publish a randomised controlled trial evaluation in 2018 providing the highest level of evidence on the impacts of increased in-work conditionality that Ministers have had sight of. When challenged that this evidence is somewhat outdated and 'a bit threadbare' - as it has been relied on for three increases in the AET - Ms Churchill indicated that Ministers also had early sight of unpublished research (a Regression Discontinuity Design (RDD) study) that compares the experiences of claimants who are just below and just above the AET.
When pressed on the expected publication dates for this and further evidence, Mr Churchill said -

'I have asked for [the RDD study] to be available as soon as it can be, and the date I was given was spring 2024 ... I would like it out the door as soon as possible, so you have more data ... RDD is the next piece, the next building block and then, the longitudinal study will come through in 2025.'

Concluding the session with a final question, Lord Hunt, speaking on behalf of the whole Committee, said -

'... we're looking for an undertaking from you, not to further expand the cohort until the Department can publish robust evidence of its effects. Are you able to give us that undertaking?

Ms Churchill responded -

'So are you alluding to us holding 15 hours or with this latest laying at 18? Because I could certainly say to you, I think with all confidence that at 18, we want to understand the iterations and make sure that we've got a sound evidence base from there.'

NB - the increase in the AET in January 2023 was based, for individuals, on the equivalent of them working 15 hours per week at the National Living Wage, and this week's increase to the equivalent of them working 18 hours per week.
Despite welcoming the Minister's reply, Lord Hunt went on to say -

'... we accept your undertaking, except we are still as dissatisfied as we were because you haven't provided, in the view of the Committee, sufficient explanation yet. We are awaiting this robust evidence, which I think that we now expect in June 2024.'

The evidence session Regulations to increase the Administrative Earnings Threshold (Legislative scrutiny) is available from parliament.tv
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Work and Pensions Select Committee has called on the government to bring forward proposals to compensate women born in the 1950s who suffered as a result of the DWP's communication failures when their pension age was increased, and asks that it does so in the current parliamentary session
Committee chair highlights lengthy delay and urgency for affected women and calls on government to act on Parliamentary Ombudsman recommendations before summer recess.
Writing to Secretary of State for Work and Pensions Mel Stride, Committee Chair Stephen Timms requests government support for 'urgent action' following the Parliamentary Ombudsman's final report in March 2024 which recommended a remedy based on level 4 of its severity of injustice scale, putting awards at between £1,000 and £2,950.
Mr Timms says that the Committee does not seek to question the Ombudsman's proposal for compensation at level 4, but instead has focused on what a remedy may look like -

'The evidence we received indicated support for a rules-based system. This would be a system where payments would be adjusted within a range (based on the PHSO’s severity of injustice scale) to reflect the extent of change in the individual’s State Pension age and the notice of the change which the individual received. This would mean that the less notice you had of the change and the bigger the change in your SPA, the higher the payment you would receive. While not perfect, the advantages of such a system are that it would be: quick to administer; applying known data to a formula to determine the amount due; and relatively inexpensive (compared to a more bespoke system).'

The Committee's recommendation also includes some flexibility for individuals to make the case for further compensation in the event that they have experienced direct financial loss, for example where a woman whose divorce settlement was less than it would have been because it was based on the expectation that she would receive her state pension at 60.
Mr Timms also asks the government to consider -

'... the need for urgent action, given that the Ombudsman started to look at this issue in 2018 and that every 13 minutes a woman born in the 1950s dies ... Implementing a remedy will need parliamentary time, financial resources, and the data and technical systems only available to your department. It cannot happen without government support. We would ask you to bring forward proposals for a remedy by the summer recess.'

Mr Timms' letter to the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions is available from parliament.uk
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I’ve worked from 1L to graduation and even if I’m working full time, lagi naman akong pumapasa. Tapos I’m from a good law school so it gave me this false confidence na kakayanin ko rin ang bar exam without resigning from my job. It all changed during the first mock bar, as in hindi ko masagot nang maayos yung mga tanong. Admittedly, when I took the mock bar I haven’t started reviewing seriously yet pero I was expecting na at least diba may masasagot naman ako kahit papano.
When I had my coaching two weeks ago, my coach sa review center did not hold back and told me that my answers were “weak” and not “lawyer-like”. He even asked me kung saang nobela galing ang mga sagot ko and commented na basic lang naman yung sagot bakit hindi ko naisip 😂 Thick-skinned naman na ako so not really affected by his words. Pero what created a “sting” was the fact na I know so little with the bar exams fast approaching. I got scared, baka mag fail ako.
So now, ang resolve namin ng husband ko is I resign na to focus on reviewing for two whole months. It’s a tough decision because I have a really good job, hindi nga lang feasible ang two months na leave. Si hubby na daw bahala. As an independent woman all my life, this is such a weird place for me. For the first time ever, aasa ako sa iba to fend for me. Sobrang uncertain din ano mangyayari in the coming months, lalo na after bar. Pero I think I need to take a leap of faith, I don’t want to take any risks.
Hugs to everyone in his/her bar journey this year. Cheers to all the tough choices and sacrifices we have to make 💜

WARNING: Long post. This is my first ever rant in this sub, and I barely have any experience on making posts on Reddit. Not to mention I am still struggling with English essays. So, I apologize before hand for any confusion and errors I made. 🙇
Context: I am a female native Vietnamese, living in a family of four in the North of the country. I just became an official adult few months ago, and is training for college entrance exam.
Ever since I attended 10th grade, my relationship with family has shifted drastically, my bond with my AM is stronger than it used to while in contrast, I have become more resentful to AP. And my resentment is more relevant as I turned 18.
Before talking about our current situation, I want to tell you about my life.
When talking about who I prefer, it is always be AM. Not until now was she emotionally intelligent, well, a bit better than she used to. She tended to forbidding me doing lots of things because of overprotection. Maybe that is why I am often hesitant to try something new. I remember our past fights when she only knew about screaming, threatening, throwing and breaking my stuff like a toddler and I had to bare with it because you know, I was 10-13 in a fucking Asian society. After she quit her dead-end job, she opened her own business, goes outside and studies more, she becomes more enjoyable to be around with. But after all the bs, I have always have choosen her for love and security. And this is the first time I realized that.
Moving on to AD. Between kindergarten to 5th grade, AD and I were quite close. At least, that what I thought because I was slow and naive, really naive. Despite being "quite close", I still remember the times he yelled and hit me for slight inconvenience. I still have the memory of the scar left by his belt for not doing what he wants. Also, in 10th grade, during COVID, children had to study online. I was the only one who knew how to and had to open the Zoom for my sister. One time, our classes started at the same time, I was on the rush and forgot about the Zoom of my sister. AD did not know how to open Zoom, he was pissed. As a result, he threw my stuff at the wall and forced me to clean up his mess.
Growing up in this household, I just recently notices how much of a kid he is. He is stubborn, conservative and always full of himself. AD is not the type who listens to others but loves everyone following him, always claiming he is right no matter what. He has no dream, no desire to be better. His pride is higher than his care for the kids. And like many deadbeat father and husband out there, he is a good for nothing. AD will be a grumpy and sour when anything slightly inconvenients him. Even when that "anything" is extremely vital for the well-being of his daughters. AD does not contribute anything in the house, not even his marriage nor the kids' education, only bosses around and sees red when one thing doesn't go out his way. Not to mention, he demands respect and worship for having a job offered by his rich brother and feeding the family aka doing the bare minimum.
Back to the present, after my 17th birthday, AD becomes dismissive and degrading than before. Everytime I talk about my issues WITH MY MOM, he will interrupt and dismiss them. Moreover, he starts to talk more about how hard his past is. Nothing much, just the typical "back in my days..." of immature oldies. AD is a gen X born two years after the end of Vietnam War, I totally get that he had been through shit. But the way he talks, he sounds like he takes pride from it, glorifies his struggles with a smug attitude. AD does not say it directly how proud he is about it, but by listening the way he scoffs at young city dwellers' issues, I sense not only arrogance but also bitterness.
Now, seeing his face is enough to drain my energy, let alone hearing his bs. I am surprised, everyone else is surprised that AM has not divorced him, especially after being as equally educated as lots of divorced women out there.
That is all for now, I may edit this post for more context in the future. If there is any questions you would like to ask, I will answer in the edits or in the replies. Thank you for spending time reading my rant.

As the title says, I passed step 1 on the second attempt. After I failed, I scoured reddit for other "redemption" posts, but there are far and few. So, for those people who, like me, failed on the first attempt and are looking for a piece of hope on the internet - this is for you.
I'll to keep it brief - I'm a US-IMG, started prep in April 2023, gave my first attempt in November 2023. I did 80% UW by then, and I had given nbmes 25, 26, 27, 29, 30 and 31 (all online, 27 was the only offline one I did) by September, and they ranged from 45 - 55% but, I felt like my main problem was recalling information. So from September to November I worked on revising and reviewing the nbmes.
The thing is, I was super burnt out by November, and I didn't revise as well as I should've. I ended up getting a tonnnn of neuroanatomy questions and some GIT questions which I really muddled up. I also got a lot of antimicrobial qs, which I wasn't very strong in.
I got the F, cried, had no idea what to do. But my parents pushed me to give another attempt and so i restarted prep.
December and Jan, i went through BnB for Neuro and GIT, and started UWorld again. Did about 40-80 qs per day, and this time i made sure to do 100% of the question bank. I think doing the questions multiple times helped me retain the informtion better, becuase mugging up from the book was not working for me.
Feb onwards began dedicated prep, i took the Amboss SA first - scored a 204. Took the Lecuturio test 3wks after that, got a 217. So, not bad but still in the low pass area. I then started taking all the nbmes again, but this time i wrote down why I thought it was the answer along with the answer option. This helped me understand whether I was guessing/remembering the answer, or if I actually knew the concepts. In these nbmes I scored 66-70%
In the end of March i took Nbme 28 which was compeltely new - got a 67%. I realised that i felt okay with my prep, i could see the improvement in myself, and decided to book the exam for April 24th.
The last one month was the crucial period for me. I didnt want a repeat of the first attempt so i made sure to keep studying, even when i didnt want to. I made a huge spreadsheet of each NBME topic, wrote down the typical clinica history that is seen in the topics, and the related qs that are being asked (like, what enzyme, what drug, etc etc). I used UWorld to search for the topics, and read through all the questions that came up to get an idea.
I realised that in the first attempt, i was just looking to get the answer right; this time i made sure i know why the other answers were wrong, and tried to recall what the question stem wouldve been like if the other options were the answer. This kind of changed the game for me, and i think is what definitely made me pass. Ive always been a bad test taker, and always sucked at eliminating options - so developing that skill was the key.
I took free 120 new - got a 73% and prayed that id pass the real deal. Wrote the exam on 4/24, the exam was shit. I could tell the question pool had changed, the ethics qs were sucky af and the stats (which i pride myself on being an expert in) were so weird. I definitely felt like i was gonna fail and proceeded to spend the next 3 weeks wallowing on my bed. But luckily, the odds and gods seemed to be in my favor and i ended up passing.
TL;DR My resources:
UWorld, NBMES, Mehlman PDFs (went thru all subjects, but i read the HY Arrows and Neuroanat pdf 3 times) I also used Amboss for ethics and psych/substance abuse questions (becuase id done the UW questions multiple times already, wanted a new source to test myself)
What i did differently the second time: did 100% UW, reviewed all nbme topics and whatever topics i felt were important by trying to understand what the main clinical pictures would be like, and focussed on being 100% confident in eliminating the options, not just recognizing the rignt answer.
Failing sucks, and its really hard to pick yourself up, but the way I looked at it was - the best thing that could happen is that I pass. The worst thing is that I fail, and I already did that, so what's one more time? Lol. Anyway, good luck and you got this.

I looked up the answers for an assignment on chegg, and am being referred for an academic integrity violation which I obviously don’t want. I’ve been arguing back and forth with the TA over what proof there is of it, and he sent a screenshot of the 20 multiple choice questions answer key from chegg which I had the exact same answers as, I got 5 wrong. Is there anything I can do to fight this?

Hi I got into the utsa cap program a few months ago and I've been trying to plan out my first year at utsa. But some problem seem to keep arising, mainly not enough classes for me to take. I should clarify I'm entering into a chemical engineering degree, but rn as a senior I am taking ap chem and ap calc ab (my school didn't offer bc). My problem is that I am most likely going to skip atleast one general chemistry class (taken two practice international exams got a 4 on the first and a 5 on the second) and looking at utsa degree plan for chemical engineering it has ochem next but that's not offered in the cap approved list. So what I am asking is if it's worth to just take my first year at utsa as if im not a cap student and try to transfer to austin with; Gen chem 1&2, physics 1&2, calc 1-3 (took two international practice test for ap calc got 5s on both), o chem 1 and maybe 2 depending on how I do on the ap test, and intro to engineering classes done. Or should I stick to the pre approved cap program and take the liberal arts auto admission?
If you're wondering what classes I would take if I do the designated cap program it would probably be some government/social science elective class requires for the degree plan.

*CONTAINS SWEARING*
This is gonna be a hefty and most likely triggering post for specific groups of people out there (meaning people who struggle with anger, people who don't want poltical content/opinions etc), so please stop reading and leave if you figure this is gonna be rough for you. This will (mainly) be about the conflict between Palestine and Israel. (and apparently a long one) No hate towards any specific groups of people, but I do have a lot of *frustration regarding behaviours*.
Before I start, I want you to remember some facts about me as you read;
I am autistic
I am heavily influenced by world peace, hate, racism and other unfair situations
I have incredibly high standards for myself that I strive to not break, including, but not limited to, being kind and respectful *always*, despite being in a bad mood, not liking someone, or disagreeing, especially political disagreements
I have always, and will always, stand against widespread hate, racism and other discrimination towards any specific religions, ethnicities, nationalities, cultures, etc.
I also want you to know that I named this throwaway accordingly.
So let's get this shitshow started then, shall we.
As the details of the conflict stands, it is beyond obvious to me that this is racism and, literally, a Holocaust. Not *the* Holocaust, but *a* Holocaust. Oxford Languages has the term defined as a destruction or slaughter on a mass scale, especially caused by fire or nuclear war . I'd say that's very much accurate. Proof to come.
Regardless, this situation has had me very pressed the last almost 8 months, as I know most other people have been too. Without getting too much into the conflict itself, I want to talk a little about what I've seen from the Jewish community.
This is where I advise anyone who struggles with anger especially to leave and try to keep your day positive. If you have a magical potion to stay stable after this, who am I to stop you...
Alright, onto the dreaded part. And yes, I am stalling.
I have never, and I truly mean *never* had any hateful thoughts or opinions about religions (other than Christianity but that's one for another time), and as we are all aware of, The Holocaust had massive effect on the world some 80 years ago. I have always seen Jews as victims due to this, but in recent times I've realised that a lot of them, too, see themselves as victims. The issue is that they aren't the victims right now. They (Israel) aren't defending themselves, they have nothing to defend themselves against. Israel is currently doing the exact same thing as Germany did to them, to Palestine. Sure, maybe at some point who knows when, Palestine *was* the land of Jews, but since then, multiple religions have been thriving together on that land, including Jews. They were never excluded. From what I've understood, there weren't any wars or conflicts going on within the country that didn't happen elsewhere. The issue began when in the late 1940's zionists brutally murdered families to steal their homes. I'm sure the situation was so much more complex than that, but in a nutshell that is basically it. The fact that everyone today have been so desensitized from the travesties happening around the world is depressing and hope-killing. I truly am well on the way to giving up, and at this point in time I'm so angry all the time due to the Middle East's situation.
So a few weeks ago, probably closing in on months at this point, I randomly got a notification from reddit about someone posting on /Jewish. They didn't say anything explicit, so I pressed the notification and I was met with the worst victimization and ignorance I've ever seen. I truly believed most jews would see this for what it is, and not let some racist maniac spoon-feed them propaganda and hate, but I was brutally and humbly proven wrong. They were mocking proPAL parades, hating on news anchors and civilians alike calling this a genocide, insisting that Israel has no other choice, saying "casualties happens in war", convincing each other that zionism is a good thing, and feeling sorry for themselves when friends and families cut contact because they said they supported Israel and saw this as the only solution. Some might have been genuine problems, idk, but for the most part, that subreddit seems to only be about hating the rest of the world because their great grandparents were killed. I know I sound like a complete asshole, but the world isn't antisemetic anymore - they are actively looking for it and then using that one person telling them to stop feeling so sorry for themselves as proof that everybody in the world wants to throw them back in gas chambers.
I commented on my personal once where I mentioned that judaism and zionism are two separate things and got downvoted to oblivion. Someone replied saying that my comment was very much exactly what they too feel, but I got downvoted *simply because* I referred to them as separate entities. That is another criticism they've recieved lately; the pure idea of zionism is on the complete opposite side from what Judaism stands for. I've seen so many of the members there calling Jews protesting against Israel "self-hating" and traitors.
I've also made so many replies that I never sent because I know for a fact they would do anything in their power to ban me from ever using reddit again, and I wouldn't be surprised if I got doxxed and harrassed IRL from it. I saved them all, though. I found that it was kind of therapeutic to get it out, but it still bugs me that I never found a way to say it to them. I once also made a post about my rage for their behaviour connected to this genocide, but I thankfully stopped myself before I posted it. I'm so enraged by their sheer ignorance and hypocritical behaviour, all the while Gaza is still being eradicated and slaughtered, war crimes happening day in-day out, inhumane atrocities by the IOF being posted and hailed, and they have the audacity to say that they are the victims? That Israel has no other choice but martyring tens of thousands of CHILDREN? Starving the entire Gaza Strip, segregating West Bank, literally teaching their young in school to hate and attack arabs? That last one might not be true as I don't speak Hebrew or Arabic, so anyone could've just made up the translation, but I still feel it's worth mentioning in case it actually *is* real.
My point is that the guts they have to claim to be so moral, yet still be so unfaced from what's happening in Gaza is beside me. Sure, for those living near the Gaza wall, I'm positive that hearing bombs and screams were traumatizing as fuck, but to then leave for work the next day and claim that "shit happens"? It's insane! It's inhumane. They can leave whenever they like, children can play football (soccer) in the streets and not having to worry about shit, hotels and restaurants with 5-star ratings thriving, plants and flowers still blooming, absolutely no threats on a daily basis. The fact that people are still calling this a war, something necessary, is beyond devastating to me. There are millions still siding with zionism, claiming there's nothing wrong with the belief that you have an innate right to some dirt simply because your holy book says that thousands of years ago, your religion lived there, and simply because of that religious fact you are rightfully owed thousands of young lives, the death of an entire country with its own culture, just to feed the irrational religious political system? How in God's name has that ever, *IS* that still okay? If Muslims were the ones saying that shit, they would've been completely destroyed by now, today's generation wouldn't know what the fuck Islam was. They are still being slaughtered though, because they're saying it's *not* okay. How is that not racist again?
My brother and I got into a heated argument a few days ago about this. I am very much *for* Palestine to have human rights and to own their own land - he is very much *against* "ugly blackies" having any rights because they're *not* human. Boi when I tell you I got so angry I started crying. And the worst part about that fight? He claims that Jews aren't any better, however they still deserve to defend themselves against children running on the beach. "But Hamas-" is so over-used and outdated by now, it just proves that he doesn't follow up on statistics and evidence. Even if there only were one-sided news (from Gaza), the fact that the ICJ ruled Israel's actions a genocide and war crimes still proves everything he claims to be "n*****'s propaganda". And the fact that he so underminds my autism and *need* for factual evidence before discussing it also goes to show that he genuinely does not care about anything other than the black "terrorists" being eradicated. I said "So you're not just a racist, you're just plain racist?" he just scoffed and looked at me as if I just said the most nonsensical bullshit gibberish ever, practically saying "I'm not gonna say anything, but it really took you that long to realise?" Either that, or he actually didn't comprehend the words coming out of my mouth, like it was a foreign language or something. Because he genuinely does not have a single reason to be racist.
He can't even blame suicide attacks because 1) not all are carried by muslims, and 2) between 1981-2015 around 45,000 were killed by suicide attacks worldwide, where in 2019 the total death toll was only 1,699 more than amount of attacks; whereas in Gaza, between Oct 7 to present there are about 34,000 confirmed palestinian deaths, and assumed around 42,000 with unconfirmed deaths. If, in 36 years, "muslim terrorism" killed about the same amount as Israel has in almost 8 months, how on earth are Arabs the terrorists?
And I've also seen the argument that 30,000 is nothing compared to the total population in Gaza, as if that makes it okay. I will, again, make example of The Holocaust. When 30,000 Jews were martyred, people were already catching on, and this was without the technology we have today.
How have we been allowing this to happen to Palestinians *with* our technology today? Why haven't people been doing more; striking our jobs, cummute chauffeurs striking, proper permanent boycotts, more coverage from news anchors and private people alike? Even if it is to officially reclaim your love for white supremacy, you're still talking about it. Why are people still not reading up on this? Why does millions still not know that this *didn't* begin on October 7th? And why are there still those who claim that the past doesn't matter today? I have so many questions, and if I do get an answer I will only end up with more questions. How hasn't the world stopped over this? Why are people so okay knowing that there are children being intentionally murdered every single day? How can you go to work and talk about Dave's new tie? Or your 6 year old's birthday party with 15 other 6 year olds? Hasn't it crossed your mind that if the roles were reversed, your precious princess would be the one burried under tons of rubble, dying slowly while simontaniously starving, dehydrating, suffocating and crushing, and *knowing* that absolutely no one cares because you're [skin color] and it's normal for your kids to be horrendously massacred? "Oh but the Taliban-ISIS-Al Qaeda" OKAY so what are you gonna do to help save innocent lives and suffering??? How are you gonna contribute to STOP these organizations that have manipulated and murdered to rule their country and are intentionally making the citicens miserable? Are you even aware that your own govurnment is essentially the same fucking thing, just disguised as a well dressed, polite gentleman? Aren't you sick of all those ads on TV showing brown children with flies in their eyes? Or your mama telling you to think about the starving children in Africa? Because I am.
I am so sick and tired of how inhumane humans have come to be. You don't see animals (and I'm trying my best to not mention how humans *are* animals, guess I failed) intentionally kill another animal simply because they're that animal. They kill prey; polar bears kill seals, seals kill penguins, penguins kill fish, fish kill amoebas, and you can get to that result from absolutely everything. What you don't find as a natural event is a golden, brown mane lion attack and kill an albino lion simply because it's albino. You don't see a school of fish swim away from one with two heads, because "*omg Jared is such a freak with his two heads*." So why the FUCK DID WE START DOING THAT? Where did this hunger for power come from? You *will* see a female lion tell the king that enough is enough, and he *will* accept that. I could go on and on for DAYS if I got the chance, but I don't wanna get too off topic here.
I've started a list of all the universally illegal shit Israel has done, and once I'm satisfied with it, I'll make one comparing Israel to Palestine, and then Arabs/Muslims as a whole. I can guarantee that I will still hear "on-sided sources" still, or "You can't trust Wikipedia!" Have you ever tried to edit or create an article on Wikipedia? I have, and I had to confirm that I had a degree or a current valid work ID to prove that I was elgible to speak on the topic. I tried to make a site for myself... Sure, there are more trustworthy sites, but even in a discussion about wether or not being trans is a mental illness, where I quoted and linked all of the most well known official sources like WHO, I was still slapped with "but this shady ass article from a random Deutch website that explicitly says everything I've said, yet still isn't actually saying the same thing because I misquoted and mixed the words to form my own sentence says that it is" when they literally linked a website called "disabled world". I will say though, I agree with that name. Today's world is so non-funtional for neurotypical, hetero, white MEN, it's no fucking wonder everyone else are classified as disabled or whatever. Also, on that disabled topic, if you've made it this far, please don't say "differently abled". A quote unquote quote (heh geddit? cuz it's rephrased and I don't have the book near me rn to directly quote) from Devon Price's "Unmasking Autism" that I really like: "You wouldn't say "a person with Asianness", you'd say "an Asian person"." We are disabled because today's world isn't made for us, and for the most part isn't even accomodated or accessible to us. We are different, yeah, but literally everyone is. We just got that term because we can't do the same things as you (assuming you're neurotypical) without aid. We are able, just not like you. Of course, if an autistic person tells you they prefer "person with autism", listen to them! But most of us embrace it as a part of us because we can't just get rid of it. Autism is what make me me, I wouldn't be me without my autism, so I *am* autistic, for better or for worse. :)
I find it kinda ironic that I started this as a venting about a lot of Jews' hypocritical behaviour, and now ending up on autism. Yaknow, cuz Dr. Asperger during WW2 experimented and tortured autistic people, and found out that some where more alike him than others, which then coined the term Aspergers for the Autistic Community.
Anywho, I feel better now, so thanks for letting me vent a little (a lot). I want to finish off by restating my intro; I have not, and will not tolerate any hate, racism or discrimination towards any religion, ethnicity, nationality, culture etc. This post is not intended as a rant about how aweful jews are, because they're not. I just wanted to air some frustration over their behaviour regarding I/P genocide. This is also not about *all* Jews, but that's the same discussion as "not all men" so I'll leave it at that.
I will delete this account in a week, so if you have any questions, be fast ig. If you find I've mis-phrased, used irrationally insensitive wording or any other complaints that calls for a repost, I will fix it and post an updated version. My DMs will also be available if that should be of interest, but I will not be responding to hate or personal attacks for my opinions. If the issue is my wording, again, tell me and I'll fix it.
At this point I've written so much that I don't remember if I found anything myself that I figured was worth fixing, and I've proof read it so many times that my eyes are crossing and giving me a headache lol
Gosh I'm scared of posting this. I don't want anyone to read this and think I support what A. H. did in 1940 cuz I cannot begin to describe my hatred for that man

this is going to be a lengthy post. i have only posted here on reddit once, so forgive me for any mistakes.
as the title says, my best friend cut me off for no reason. for some context, this happened just a couple days before our high school graduation, which was today, 05/18.
i guess this started on thursday, which was the day of our senior picnic my high school organized. since she was in an ap exam for the first half of the picnic, she showed up late as she had mentioned she would before. my other friend (who is also one of our best friends, we have a trio as well as another friend group) and i show up and join a group of friends to sit with. after about 30 minutes, my best friend shows up.
she stayed for 5 minutes. five. minutes. she said one thing, which was just a question about my english class. i responded to her, and she went on her phone for the short time she was there. the conversation was steered towards her multiple times, but she acted uninterested. to be clear, she wasn’t angry - she was very friendly the entire time although she only spoke once.
suddenly she gets up, announces she’s going to the bathroom in a friendly tone, and she never comes back. multiple friends and i text asking her where she went, to which she told us she had left. when my other friend asked her why, she said she didn’t want to text the reason why and would rather speak in person? everybody was confused.
i give her some time to cool down, and later i text her asking if she is upset about something. no response. days go by, still nothing. so, i send one more text saying if she’s angry about something then that is okay, but i want her to communicate it instead of ignoring everybody. still nothing and now it is the night after our graduation ceremony.
she skipped our good friend’s grad party, skipped a hang out our friend group planned, and is ignoring everybody but the other best friend i had mentioned before that she wanted to “talk to privately”. she didn’t meet with us for photos with our caps and gowns, didn’t clap for me when my name was called, nothing.
my best friend has a history of losing people. i never pried or looked into it since it was from her past, but so many people i talk to have some issue with her. i’m trying to not take it personally as more and more people express the same thing happened to them with her. it just hurts because this is 4 years down the drain over something that i don’t know. i’ve never lost a friend before, i don’t think i have ever even argued with a friend before so this is all very new to me. my friend group is very supportive and has given me a shoulder to lean on, but it hurts. if she cared about the friendship, i thought she would work with me instead of against me.
i just don’t get it. we were talking that morning before her exam and everything was normal. to me, her ignoring me shows she never really valued the friendship or cared for me enough. i just feel so heartbroken.

I thought it would be beneficial to share my IELTS experience (academic, computer-based) to decompress and de-traumatise myself haha.
I'm not a native English speaker, but I've lived in an English-speaking country for around 13 years now. I speak English daily and hardly ever use my first language (I hate it; it's so ugly). I need at least a score of 7 in every category for registration purposes. Basically, if I can't deliver, I cannot pursue a certain career. I breathe English, I think in English, I basically AM English. IELTS, pffff, should be a piece of cake, right? Oh boy, was I wrong.
I forced myself to do a little one-week IELTS bootcamp before my actual test, you know, just to be prepared and not waste money as this dumb test costs a fortune. I used the official practice tests. Listening? No worries, easily got an 8.5/9 every time. Reading? MHM. In my first reading test, I had 24 correct answers out of 40... The stupid YES / NO / NOT GIVEN questions were wonderful for someone who overthinks A LOT. I looked up some strategies and then got 8.5/9 every time for reading. EASY. Writing? I literally just looked at the structures needed and memorised a couple of fancy words. EAZZZYYYYY. Speaking? Well, I'm awkward as hell and introverted, but hey, I can speak if needed. All good. Also, there’s not really much to prepare for.
Fast forward to the testing day. I used a new shampoo the evening before (voluminous & shiny hair) and went to bed with wet hair. When I woke up, my hair had so much freaking volume, it exploded so much that it now basically filled my entire room. It was intimidating. No time to do anything about it - I put a cap on, and this somehow tamed it.
You should be there 30 minutes before your test starts. Traffic was a nightmare; I was there 20 minutes before the test and had no idea there was an introduction. I walked into a room full of people, listening to someone explaining stuff. Everyone stared at me. My nervous self became even more nervous, and my face probably mutated into a tomato. "Sorry," I mumbled and sat down somewhere in the darkest corner. We were then informed that 1. we are not allowed to take food with us. It really stung because I had this new tiny delicious protein bar with me as a treat, carefully chosen the day before. 2. We weren't allowed to wear watches and mobiles needed to be turned off. 3. The introduction lady stared right into my soul: "NO headwear is allowed." I had to remove my cap, guys. It was so messed up. My hair was everywhere, and I felt like a miserable mop. You then basically get married to your passport. DO NOT FORGET TO BRING IT. One girl got disqualified because she didn't have hers. Hold on to yours; you need it for EVERYTHING. The number of times they checked mine, before, during, and after, was insane. The whole test building was a mess, by the way. It was old, it smelled, it was damaged, and there was NO light. I felt depressed the second I entered that damn building. We then got herded into a tiny room with really old computers. Guess what? Passports got checked again. We were around 10 people, and they had just checked them before sending us into the room. Anyway, the test started. Listening was great, except apparently I don't know how to write "volcano" correctly. I went to the bathroom before the test, but I could already feel my bladder getting annoying during that part. When I started the reading section, my whole body was shaking. It was insanely cold in that room; I was wearing a hoodie. The reading part was so much harder in comparison to the practice tests. This also may have had something to do with the articles I got. They didn't interest me in the slightest and my nervousness was making it really hard to focus. I wiggled my way through it but had around 8-9 questions I wasn't sure of. Fun fact: they had 2 sections of these stupid NOT GIVEN, TRUE / FALSE questions. Just to celebrate my existence. I panicked a little during that section and ran out of time in the end. The reading part takes around 1 hour, and by then I felt tired, HUNGRY, exhausted... and I was almost peeing myself. They don't stop the time for you, so what kind of idiot goes to the toilet during an IELTS exam? Yes. I was that idiot. I lost 5 minutes of time for my writing exam. I honestly should have worn a diaper. I really needed those 5 minutes. Long story short: after task 1, my thoughts were "That's pretty meh, I'll come back and sparkle it up later." I ran out of time for task 2. I had 7 minutes left when I was working on my second paragraph. I didn't have a conclusion yet; I didn't proofread. Task 1 was simultaneously breathing down my neck. Guys, it was an absolute shit show. I also started freaking out, which probably didn't help much. I spewed out a conclusion, 3 sentences which did not make ANY sense. I tried to finish my second paragraph, which also now does not make ANY SENSE. And I wasn't able to proofread any of it. Did I mention the computers were ancient? You had to basically spank the keyboard for it to work. I'm sure there are lots of missing letters. Fark mi life.
Once I slumped out of that dark testing room, I honestly could have cried. I felt fragile, exhausted, HUNGRY, and just massively disappointed with myself. I just wanted to roll home and die in bed. But wait, I totally forgot - there was one more part to tackle. SPEAKING. Yay. A fun thing to do when you feel absolutely broken.
I had to loiter around for an hour, cap proudly back on my head, stuffed my face with the protein bar (which turned out to taste like an old sock), gulped down some water and an energy drink. I hadn't had caffeine for over 3 years, so drinking an energy drink might not have been the best option. I FELT SO ALIVE AND EVERYTHING PASSED IN THE SPEED OF LIGHT. YEEEEW HAAAAH. I galloped back into the testing center, peed my insides out in the bathroom (I've learned), stared into the mirror, took off my cap for one millisecond, and decided it was best to keep wearing it, for humanity. I sprinted out of the bathroom, wasn't even surprised that my passport got checked again, and, did I mention? They also love your fingerprints. They got taken around 5 times while I was there. "NO HEADWEAR." I had to take that damn cap off again and could feel my hair fluffing up. HOW CAN ANYONE TAKE ME SERIOUSLY WITH THAT HAIR? I now had to engage in an actual conversation with an actual human. First impression was out the window, bet. I had to sit around for 20 minutes, not being able to use my phone or anything. I could not sit still. I watched people leave other rooms, crying. Finally, the door opened, and I was let in for my speaking test. The tester was literally a machine in human form. He mechanically read questions to me. I didn't feel strongly about ANY question he asked me. They were all so boring, and I literally had nothing to say. One of them, for example, was "Does your family have an old belonging? What is it? And what do you know about it?" My family are minimalists; they don't keep stuff. There I was, having to give some sort of stupid presentation in one minute, and I literally had NOTHING to talk about. Guys, don't let this dishearten you though; just make stuff up. I ended up word vomiting on him. He had to stop me multiple times. I felt annoyed with how much I was talking, but hey, at least I said something. He knew I could yap and speak English. We were all good. After that, I had heart palpitations and am still high on caffeine while writing this.
If you have any questions regarding the test, I can attempt to help you. If you messed up your writing and potentially reading test, I feel you. I will very likely have to spend between $199-300 to resit it. I absolutely hate the IELTS and hope to tick it off... soon.

According to him he bought answers to form I or A or something like that, but we had form O as usual. So he purposefully crumpled up his AP ID labels, test label, and wrote in the wrong form on the back of the answer sheet where it says “AP Exam I’m Taking.” He also left the bubble field for the booklet serial number blank. He’s dumb bro he’s gonna get caught.

Ap chem Ap mech Ap calc ab, taking bc exam Ap us gov Regular econ Regular english 4
Have taken: ap euro, apush, ap bio so far. Looking into computer engineering and biotech for careers.
Strong in sciences and math, weak af in english

My teenage son woke up with more « eye boogers » than usual a few days ago and mentioned it to me. We chalked it up to the constant eye strain from having to study for multiple AP exams and looking at his computer screen/reading for hours - it has been a hectic and extra stressful week and we have ourselves a typical 4.2 GPA student, running for class president, does sports and has an active social life, super kind and loving busy bee here - so I asked him to limit screen time including his phone and take frequent breaks the night of and he woke up without them BUT his eyes were a bit reddish and glossy the next day. I set up an appointment with his doctor just in case for next week (Wednesday) but we addressed the glassy eyes with extra water intake, limited screen time again, and allergy medications too (since he has pretty bad hay fever). He woke up fine the next day (yesterday) but today he came into my room to show that one of his eyes was noticeably red and a bit smaller than the other. We bought new allergy medication and did eye drops which helped with the redness significantly but it’s stayed a bit pinkish and looking irritated the whole day. He feels normal otherwise and says it doesn’t itch, hurt, or feel weird. No vision issues either. What could it possibly be and should I try to get him to his doctor sooner?
Thank you for reading this and for your patience and help! ❤️

So my spouse moved out of the house to his office (in our property) about 1 month ago, due to my poor behavior (poor emotional regulation and raging when I feel dismissed and unheard). I stupidly texted him to check on him after he went to his office/bedroom seeming unsettled for an unknown (to me) reason. A few hours later, I found myself thinking fondly of him and the live he has shown me, so I checked in with him to see if he was any better. He said he was a bit better and wanted to know what was on my mind. I confessed to was thinking about him, and checking to see if he was doing any better. After I vulnerablly confessed I had been thinking about him, his next two responses were reticent two word responses, so I made the poor assumption that my confession of thinking about him had upset him (he goes from hot to cold as quickly as I do these days). After his two word answers, I responded "I am guessing my honesty means we are done talking." And then I was told I was being passive aggressive and that I had a "twisted perspective". My response was "It was not meant to be twisted. If my interpretation was wrong. I am sorry.". Then the situation was cleared up and he was off to bed. He 'called me out' on what he felt was my 'poor' behavior as usual and does not see how his response was dismissive to my vulnerability. He hasn't read any of my responses after that, keeping to his boundaries I'm guessing, but to which one I don't know. I'm upset that I was dumb enough to text him in my vulnerability only to be met with mono symbol answers and then attacked for misinterpreting them as him shutting down because I had been honest in admitting that I was thinking about him. Why do I feel like he only sees a black/white view of me, when he constantly calls me out on that? I hate seeing myself through his eyes when they seem so full of dusdain for me. I know that I have hurt him but I hate that I see so much disdain towards me that it makes me doubt that he still loves me. But if he only feels contempt for me, I can't blame him. But I keep holding out that contempt isn't all he feels for me, even if that seems to be what I feel most often from him these days. Maybe I am just being emotionally disregulated or pessimistic or whatever other BPD characteristic that this can be seen as, and maybe it's not. IDK, my gut tells me one thing but I know he would say another. I feel confused, accused, dismissed and so very alone in all of it. Why can't I just do what a normal person would do? I pray multiple times a day that God will just let me die (since I have promised not to KMS), my bedtime prayer has turned into a plee for God to let me sleep and not wake up. But I know when my damn alarm goes off, I will still be here, dealing with the consequences of my messed up head. drowning in sorrow for the life I dreamed of, guilt & shame for the life I have made because of my own choices. Dear God, maybe you will hear my prayer if I put it on line-since my verbal prayers continue to go unmet- be with my husband and give him peace and healing for the past, the present and the future. And please let me I fall asleep, and not ever wake up, or heal my broken mind so that I can stop hurting all those around me.

Are kinda low. I missed 34 on multiple choice on test C, worse than test B even. Should I even bother with exam on Monday or post pone it? Thing is, I'm so tired of studying, like so sick of it. Maybe CS is not for me. Thanks

This is a long one. I (f37) am thinking about not going to my great nieces first birthday.
My niece (19) and I have always been quite close. I have always been there for her growing up and was heavily involved since the day she was born. I actually watched her be born. I always held my nieces and nephews as babies, changed their nappies, bathed them, looked after them, took them places, bought them things etc. Now my niece has had a baby and it’s the total opposite of how things were when my niece was a baby. She never wants people to hold baby, do things for baby,look after her or do ANY of the things I did when she was little. Every time I tried to hold her or be involved in any way it was as if I was a stranger trying to hold her baby. I always felt like I was a nobody and my niece didn’t want me to acknowledge her daughter at all. I began to feel guilty for even looking at her. It all came to a head when I asked what kind of baby seat she used as I wanted to get one just incase me or my parents ever needed to have or pick up my great niece for any reason. I got shut down and was told that there was no point as she would never be in anyone else’s car so there was no need to buy a baby seat. I was over trying at that point. I had put so much energy and effort into trying to be the best great aunt I could be just as I had been the best aunt I could be for my niece but I was getting rejected left right and centre. I made a generic post on Facebook saying that I was giving up trying which she obviously knew was about this situation. She wouldn’t answer any of my texts or phone calls. I should mention that I suffer from depression and mental illness and was on the verge of a breakdown. I was at a very low point and decided I needed to get away. I spontaneously bought a ticket to Germany for the next day for four weeks. (My sister lives in Germany) I then get a text from my niece saying the following.
Hey (name removed) Look i’m not mad at you i’m just disappointed that something as simple as telling you not to buy a car seat for baby as it’s not necessary caused you to posted things on facebook and etc. It’s disappointing you haven’t respected husband and I’s boundaries, privacy and personal choice for us and our family. On my multiple occasions you haven’t taken no for an answer and I feel like i’m walking on egg shells quite frankly trying not to upset you. I feel as though I can’t say “no don’t buy a car seat” or no to a cuddle with baby without offending you. It’s really draining constantly feeling like husband and my decisions for our baby are not being respected or understood by you at family gatherings, which doesn’t bring joy and happiness into my life and my family. I understand you might mean well but at the end of the day it’s not your decision on anything to do with baby it’s up to husband and I and unfortunately if you can’t respect that then we aren’t going to want to see you, and want to catch up with you and ect. We are a private family and like to have our space we also do not have time for drama and etc in our lives. I’m sorry if this upsets you but husband and I only want the best for our baby and that includes the people around her. And it is so negative and upsetting to see that one of our family members have posted about us on her facebook and is not the type of energy we want in are daughters life. We are currently in the middle of moving house so I don’t have time for long conversations like this, and that’s why I haven’t answered you yet but when we have settled down in our new house and everything we can catch up and talk in person. Hope you understand where we are coming from and think and process what I have said Thank you. love you 🫶🫶
It was like a gut punch. I totally broke down after that. The time away was good but it was super awkward when I returned home. I didn’t want to engage at all. Over time things slowly improved and I felt like things were getting better. Then one day a weeks back we were having a family bbq and she had put baby on the ground while holding her hands. I put my arms out to pick her up and my niece held babies hands tighter and said something along the lines of why do you always have to pick her up when I put her down. I was taken aback and left the room for a while. I kept my distance the rest of the day and haven’t reached out since. I should also add that my sister and niece are very similar in the sense that if I don’t reach out to them (eg call or text) I NEVER hear from them. I am so drained and tired of trying and have become distant. I don’t want to socialise with them or talk. My great nieces first birthday is next week and I don’t want to go. I don’t t have the energy to pretend everything is ok. I don’t see the point in me being there. So would I be the asshole if I didn’t attend.