I lost my mom (53f) to stage 4 lung cancer in March. It’s been really hard on me for me to handle her passing as she was feeling so much better and stronger within the last year. Especially in November, she joined a trial drug and was gaining weight, wanting to go out of the house more, and in January she was saying she’s so happy and hope the drug keeps working. Then in February she went to the hospital for shortness of breath, she told me not to worry she will recover because she’s in better health stage (meaning better blood pressure, better weight, more strength) compared to the last time she was in the hospital. After 2 1/2 weeks, I could see she was trying to be positive but it wasn’t like before. She got moved to the ICU March 6th and nurses were saying she looked better. Then, the next day she was calling her family overseas telling her goodbyes as she didn’t think she’d make it. Throughout the day though, her friends, me, and fam were talking to her, she was making jokes but sadly had an acute attack causing her to be on a ventilator. After few hours, her heart rate kept dropping and they couldn’t do anything more, she passed March 8, can cancer take over so quickly?

TL;DR question: Hey, has anyone successfully leveraged a doctor’s note for an employer’s allowance on remote work? Anything they can share? Looking for pros and cons in experience.
Context: My epileptologist lives in NY (my home state). I’ve lived in TX through my epilepsy journey for about 2yrs+. My current job made me move here because my team is a hybrid role.
I love my job. I love the company I work for. I love my team. Im making decent money.
I want to move home. I’m epileptic and live alone. I take tremendous care of myself, but the loneliness has been a killer. I also have to frequently make trips to see my epileptologist. Epileptologists are almost a rare kind of neurologist to find and where I am in TX, it isn’t feasible for me to find one. UT Health system has neuros who somewhat specialize with epilepsy which I have seen. Working with “what I have” is fine. However, they aren’t overly familiar with reading EEGs is what Ive been told. These neuros have also stated themselves that epileptologists are not truly easy to find at all in the state of TX + with the population being highly dense and super unhealthy, their system is heavily clogged.
But I’m lonely. Depressed. My gf dumped me in January due to distance (plus other issues), and as a result I have suffered 2 seizures since - breaking a streak of a yr + change without a seizure. I live in a state where driving is needed 90% of the time. My specialist in NY is top notch. Recently my mom went into the hospital for approximately a week due to heart troubles. She and my dad are both 73 and they are deathly afraid of dying without anything set up for their kin. They run a business that has helped us all through life and support my return home to be closer to them as they age, for me to be around should shit hit the fan with me, and so that I can understand the basics more fluently in running their business. Therapy has been helpful, but not
Regarding what Id say to my doctor, I’d state that “I have to fly in often for our visits which raises expenses; I am alone and fearful of seizures without a support circle; I cannot risk losing my license in TX whereas in NY i have very strong public transportation options; I am lonely and my therapist has indicated I am suffering from depression….my mood in NY is dramatically improved due to the support circles I’ve cultivated there most of my life whereas in TX, my mood lately has dropped and spiraled into depressive loopholes. All of such I worry is creating stress and affecting my ability to sleep (due to stress)….these are the most common triggers for me.”
When it comes to the severity of my issue, I am classified as a generalized epileptic currently on 300mg Lamotrigine and have generally controlled my seizures. EEG readings used to read 7sec long abnormalities without medicine throughout the day. Such have been reduced mainly to 1-3sec abnormalities - a significant improvement. Doctor is proud of my hard work around my direct medicinal treatment (diet, cadence of meds, general positive dedication to self-care like adherence to sleeping regularly when I can, exercising often, combatting mental hurdles with coping skills).
Thoughts on requesting a note to have in back-pocket for when I open the conversation with work on remote options/remote teams given my circumstances? Looking for any advice, general success and failure stories, and what to look out for.

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Crumble
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Cursed Sight
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Dead Island Definitive Edition
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Degrees of Separation
Demon Pit
DESOLATE
Detached: Non-VR Edition
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Devil's Hunt
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DIG - Deep In Galaxies
Dimension Drifter
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dirt 5 - Only for good offers
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Divide By Sheep
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Doodle Derby
DOOM (1993)
DOOM II
DOOM 64
Dorke and Ymp
Doorways: Holy Mountains of Flesh
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Double Dragon IV
Doughlings Arcade
Doughlings Invasion
Draw Slasher
Dreamscaper
DreamWorks Dragons: Legends of the Nine Realms
Driftland: The Magic Revival
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Dust to the End
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Elven Legacy Collection
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Escape from Naraka
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Never thought I would be a victim of a scam but here I am.
Short story- got scammed by a fake IG thrift store. I've found the IP Address of the scammer. Is there anyway I can pinpoint his exact location?
Long story- I've been looking for motorcycle gear. I followed a few 'thrift' stores on IG that post used gear such as boots and jackets. One day I saw a really nice pair of Dainese boots for INR 9500. A new pair would set you back 4 times that (in India). I DM'd the page and he sent me a few pictures of the boots and said it's of great condition. His grammar was good too so I believe it was a legit store. I also found posts on his page from 2021 which gave me more confidence. Long story short. I paid him and shared the shipping address. I also told my friend about the great deal I got. He reached out to the same dude and found boots for himself. But the guy stopped responding to me so I started doubting him. I asked my friend to wait but he went ahead and paid him INR 2000 as an advance. A couple of days passed and the day the boots were supposed to be delivered came and went. There was no response which is when I went back to his page and found someone had commented saying he's a scammer. I reached out to the guy who had commented and he told me that the same thing happened to him. He had blocked both me and my friend on IG. However, I had replied to his story from a different profile so he thought he could scam another person. By pretending to be a customer, I was able to find his IP address. I've raised a complaint to the police but is there any way to pinpoint his exact location? Would love to get him arrested.

I'm 35. I've been owning and operating a two store mattress business for going on 7 years. I make about 60k a year, with no benefits, retirement, etc. I do pay for health insurance and my Roth IRA 100% out of pocket. I feel like I'm financially falling behind in life. I'm tired of renting rooms in house, my truck needs repair, etc. I realistically don't make enough to buy a home or support a family.
My business is difficult to scale. Commercial real estate has become very difficult and expensive, and expanding seems damn near impossible. There's more competition than ever. Costs continue to rise. People are spending less money. I don't see my income drastically increasing unless I can open at least two more stores.
I love working for myself. I love the flexibility my schedule can provide me. But, like I said, I feel like I'm falling behind. I'm at a place where I can exit the business. A friend has offered to put in a good word for a remote job paying 80k with full benefits. Some customer on-boarding specialist role. I can't say it sounds exciting, but the pay, benefits, and remote work seem great.
Has anyone been through this? How is it/was it?

What’s the #1 thing every founder needs to know?

I’ll give you a few minutes to make a list — top of mind might include sales, marketing, technology, product management (especially product-market fit), technical skills, fundraising, team building, leadership, management, finance, and planning/executing strategic growth and scaling.
Sure… but, sorry, none of that is the correct answer. Because, of course, you know that founders typically are expected to be jacks of all trades. So yes, to all of the above, but that’s not the secret sauce.
The #1 thing every founder needs to know is… themself.
Here’s the truth: founders start companies, and entrepreneurs build them. While not every entrepreneur is a founder (think franchise owners), every founder is an entrepreneur (at least initially).
If you’re like me, you are a forward-obsessed founder. That means where you are now is always building toward where you want to go. That person is always an entrepreneur. Once the company is started, you’ll do what it takes — including relinquishing control — to keep it growing.
Does that sting? We founders think of our companies as our babies, but statistics say we’re likely to be the ones kicked out of the nest. Also, research shows that in the US, only 14 out of the top selling 500 companies still have the original founder running the company. And the Harvard Business Review reports that most founders relinquish control long before their companies go public — and that four out of five are forced to step down as CEO.
It doesn’t have to be that way if you have one critical attribute: self-awareness. That way, you can decide as your company grows how you want to evolve your role in the overall day-to-day running of the company (i.e., learn, delegate, hire, move on). And ultimately, you can make better choices at critical growth junctures in your business progression.
So, to help you become more self-aware, it’s helpful to understand the different types of founders. Let’s dive in.

The Types of Founders

A couple of notes before we get into specifics:

• Much like any other classification, there are gray areas, so you (and many of the examples I share in this article) may fit into more than one category.
• Some traits are common to all founders, such as being open to innovation, passionate about their project, risk-takers, etc. But some founders excel or even over-index in certain attributes, so that’s what you’ll see in the different types.

The bottom line: knowing your strongest/weakest points is a critical piece of the self-awareness pie. That way, you can conduct your business in what I call the Green Zone — aka the Genius Zone, where you have both high passion and high competence — and make the best choices for you and your company.

1. The Solo Founder

Traits:

• Fiercely independent
• Self-assured
• Strong belief in their vision/idea
• Business strongly tied to skill set and experience
• Resilient (i.e., can withstand feelings of loneliness)

Benefits:

• Freedom
• Complete control
• Learn a lot

Pitfalls:

• Solo-founded companies statistically have a higher failure rate
• Harder to raise money/VCs are more reticent
• Health impacts: burnout, loneliness, etc.
• Attention is divided because you wear all the hats (marketing, sales, building your product, finances, fundraising, prospecting for new customers, etc.)
• Complete responsibility for all aspects of the business

Example: Sara Blakely, Spanx Founder
Ten years ago, in 2012, when she was just 38, Sara Blakely became the world’s youngest self-made female billionaire. Her business, built on a significant industry gap (the lack of comfortable, effective shapewear) and her incredible sales hustle, also benefited greatly from Blakely’s abundant self-awareness. Here’s her advice to solo founders at a 2020 business conference:

“I tell people as soon as you can afford to hire your weaknesses, do it… As soon as I could afford to hire someone to do more of the operations side of the business, I did. As an entrepreneur, one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself is to stay in your lane.”

In other words, know what your Green Zone is and play there.
If you’re like Blakely, it’s usually big ideas and sales ability (she could easily qualify as a Visionary Founder, too) or operations and execution (what Blakely realized she needed help with).
Pro tip: If you’re a solo founder, you’ll likely want to lean into an entrepreneurial framework like the Entrepreneurial Operating System (EOS) to help you define and settle into which side you skew toward.

2. The Visionary Founder (or Co-founders)

Traits:

• Driven by a big idea
• Disruptive — recognizes opportunities to upend traditional norms
• Focused and clear
• Persistent
• Natural salesperson
• Can see the big picture
• Collaborative (esp. In co-founder scenario)
• Motivated by the impact they have — more than $$ alone

Benefits:

• Passionate about their work
• Aren’t easily derailed — failures are expected, and mistakes are not made twice
• Inspired leadership

Pitfalls:

• So focused on the big picture that they may miss important details
• A visionary idea doesn’t automatically = visionary leadership
• Disconnected from reality at times
• Easily bored when the mundane takes priority
• May not plan succession well
• Unrealistic expectations
• Poor communication

Example: Steve Jobs & Steve Wozniak
Considering that Steve Jobs’ name is pretty much synonymous with “visionary,” I don’t think I need to list more than the products and industries Jobs’ revolutionized at Apple and beyond — Apple Computers, iPod (iTunes), iPad, iPhone, Pixar, iCloud — with many products and points in between. George Lucas, from whom Jobs bought the Graphics Group at Lucasfilm and renamed it “Pixar,” perfectly summarizes his superpower:

“The magic of Steve was that while others simply accepted the status quo, he saw the true potential in everything he touched and never compromised on that vision.”

Steve Wozniak was the technological yin to Jobs’ sales and marketing yang, bringing the vision of a computer with a graphic interface to life. From the visionary files, “Woz” also invented the first programmable universal remote and was an early innovator of wireless GPS (thanks to his clever dogs who routinely evaded electronic fences).

3. The Serial Disruptor

Traits:

• Varied interests & capabilities
• Easily bored — desires variety and change
• Optimistic
• Extremely innovative
• High threshold for pain
• Accepting of failure
• Self-reliant
• Diverse capabilities
• Bold vision
• Motivated by the impact they have — more than $$ alone

Benefits:

• Variety of experiences
• Flexibility and freedom
• Diversification
• Tons of opportunities for creative expression
• Greater earning opportunities
• Disrupts industries
• Attracts high-quality talent

Pitfalls:

• High risk
• Difficulties finding trustworthy partners/can get stuck helming something when you want to move on
• Multitudes of people reliant on you
• Divided focus
• Ego-driven pursuits

Example: Elon Musk
Like him or loathe him, Elon Musk is perhaps the most prolific (and successful) serial founder of all time with startups including Tesla, SpaceX, The Boring Company, and Neuralink, among others. His drive to design opportunities to evolve humanity has redefined both hustle culture and the art of serial entrepreneurship.
For serial founders, having a set of principles is key to their success. In Musk’s case, his use of “first principles” — reducing a process to its essential parts — has served him well, from helping him figure out how to make rockets cheaper and reusable (SpaceX) to shifting the narrative of electric vehicles (Tesla).

4. The Engineer

Traits:

• Engineer by experience and nature
• Technically savvy
• Able to problem-solve technology-driven issues (not just with the product but also operations-wise)
• Strong desire to not just innovate but also to accelerate progress
• Expansive vision of how technology can solve common problems
• Level-headed
• Agile, fast learners
• Focused on execution

Benefits:

• Pragmatic approach
• Own technology
• Problems are solved quickly
• Able to employ technology to reduce time to market
• Solutions for products can become new products in their own right

Pitfalls:

• Not well versed in other crucial areas (i.e., sales, marketing)
• Over-index on having lower Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
• Because they can learn quickly, so may get stuck playing outside of the green zone

Example: Mark Zuckerberg
Much like the other examples I’m sharing, Mark Zuckerberg’s story has been widely told, so you probably know about his development of Facebook. But at his core, Zuckerberg is an engineering prodigy and geek. At just 13 in 1997, he built “ZuckNet,” which enabled the family’s home computers to communicate via Ping (a precursor of AOL’s Instant Messenger) with his father’s dental office computers. He was using AI in his senior year in high school, so the roots of his Meta(verse) focus today are apparent.
A common weakness for engineers is they tend to have a lower EQ, which has been well-researched. As a former engineer, I understand how logic and technology come easier than understanding human behavior. This is why tech founders should seek out mentors early and bring in competent leaders with high EQ and leadership skills — for example, Zuckerberg credits his former COO of 14 years, Sheryl Sandberg, for turning the company into a multi-billion dollar company.

5. The Personality Founder

Traits:

• Charismatic and gregarious
• Attracts a vast audience
• Influential
• Ambitious
• Forward-thinking
• Inwardly motivated (responds to a “calling”)
• Excellent storytellers
• Authentic and honest (ideally 😉)

Benefits:

• Has a built-in audience and established social platforms
• Likely has pre-existing wealth (can help fund the business/mitigate startup money woes)
• Can use their power for good; disruptive in a positive way

Pitfalls:

• Needs to find the right people to trust
• Can’t just be the “face” of the business; needs to accrue real business chops
• Celebrity and influence status don’t equal quality products
• Difficult or impossible for the founder to leave

Example: Oprah
I’m using Oprah as an example, as her products are an outgrowth of her — her eponymous talk show, which ran for 25 years, the OWN network, O Magazine, her book club, and a variety of charitable endeavors comprise her vast empire. But of course, we know plenty of other personality brands that have racked up billions in sales and even transformed, from the Kardashians/Jenners, to Bethany Frankel and Ryan Reynolds (just watch Deadpool 3 to see his brands — coming in 2023).
In today’s age of influence, we’ve seen a surge of personality brands and founders who leverage built-in audiences and communities to scale quickly. All these names are business mavericks in their own right, but many didn’t start out this way — they deftly utilize their charisma and ability to entertain to shape their brands and pave the way to success.

6. The Accidental Founder

Traits:

• Independent
• Resourceful
• Necessity-driven
• Follow their desire/passion
• Creative
• Willing to take risks

Benefits:

• A deep belief in what they’re doing
• Solves real-world problems based on personal experience
• Discover they’re much happier running their own show
• Turns skills, vocation, or avocation into a profitable business

Pitfalls:

• May not have the business chops
• Reluctant business person — may not actually want to run their own business
• Needs to find the right people to trust
• Overwhelm

Example: Yvon Chouinard
Patagonia founder Yvon Chouinard has been in the news lately for giving away his company to fight climate change. He’s an OG accidental entrepreneur whose passion for rock climbing led him to develop reusable pitons (rock climbing spikes) and, later, heavy-duty shirts. Famously Chouinard called himself a “dirtbag climber” and didn’t want to become a business mogul. Sixty-five years later, this accidental founder’s company is valued at $3 billion, and his latest innovation is a way of giving away the profits of a company to continue his contribution to society — protecting and preserving the natural world.
As I always say, there are riches in the niches, and accidental entrepreneurs are the leading type of founders to discover a marketplace with little or no competition.

7. The Intentional Founder

Traits:

• Purpose-driven
• Strong ideals and values
• Passionate about the bigger picture impacts
• Socially conscious
• Clear and focused on the brand mission

Benefits:

• An empathetic approach to the product/the company
• Can educate, empower, and motivate others (i.e., team, customers)
• Employees are statistically more satisfied and likely to stay
• Commitment to a higher ideal engenders more loyalty and trust with the general public (customers)

Pitfalls:

• Moving from individual ideals to a group effort is tricky
• Difficult to find employees with perfectly aligned values
• Might not have the business experience to set the organization up for long-term success
• Purpose-driven (belief) isn’t the same as purpose-enabled (capability)
• Might be challenging for the company to survive the loss of the founder

Example: Jessica Alba
While Jessica Alba does have some touches of a Personality Founder (she is an actor) and an Accidental Founder (an allergic reaction to detergent made her worry about her new baby’s sensitive skin), she is an excellent example of an intentional founder. Back in 2008, when Alba had that allergic reaction, influencer marketing wasn’t what it is today — plus, she had some success but was by no means a household name. Ditto for eco-conscious consumer packaged goods — a plus, sure, but didn’t have the same urgency and importance it does today. Alba then spent years researching ingredients in everyday products and even went to DC to lobby for updates to the 1976 Toxic Substances Control Act. Convinced that consumers need safe, affordable, environmentally friendly products for kids and home, Alba launched The Honest Company in 2011.
Now, she did have seasoned co-founders, her own wealth to use out the gates, and VC support shortly after that, but it has always been Alba’s commitment to and alignment with the brand’s core principles that have kept the brand growing and thriving — today, as a publicly traded company with a 2021 $412.8 IPO.
What type of founder are you? Definitely feel free to share in the comments.

18M experiences weird ghosting(?) by 18F
So there’s this girl that I was talking to for like 2 months. We’re both seniors and are going to the same college so it was really easy to bond and throughout the two months we really connected with each other. Like after about a month we were mutually committed to each other and we would talk on the phone all night, talk throughout the day, and be there for each other whenever it was needed. The only real problem is that I tend to overthink a lot, as I’ve had bad anxiety issues in the past. This windiest is compounded by the fact I was played in my last relationship by a girl who said she loved me and swore she was loyal that was talking to other dudes and picked them over me. But anyways, I would try to express how the overthinking made me feel to her but I really wanted to get her on a call because other than seeing her we only exchanged voice notes and never really got on calls. This expanded my intuition and made me think I was getting played so I did some mild research. We follow each other on Ig and she has a lot upwards of a thousand followers, which also set some alarm bells off in my brain because I knew she was most likely lying that I was the only want for her and everything. Also, just through like looking at her post comments, I saw that she still had her ex bfs flirty comments up there for a while when we were talking and that she still followed him, making me think that I was possibly going to be a rebound. Also, based on her TikTok reposts, she was just starting to get over him when she told me they had been done for three months so I didn’t know what to believe. But while we were talking, me and her shared everything with each other like past trauma, current issues, and I play guitar so I would sing love songs to her or send them to her(corny Ik) so she told me that she’s been deeply traumatized in past relationships and that her ex was the worst of them all because he would use her for her body and I think she implied some abuse so I knew to be gentle with her. She also said that no guy had ever put in so much effort to talk to and understand her and that it was so different and special to her. So everything is going good and I really like this girl, like more than anyone before. And like I said, we’re going to the same college so we both like follow the college posting accounts and follow people that are going to be her classmates. So one day, I follow someone a guy in there with my major, but when I do I realize my girl already followed him. So I go back to the college account (which consists of 90% girls) and realize that she hasn’t followed a single girl on there and follows basically every guy. This makes me feel awful because just logically, on an account with 90% girls being posted, can you following every dude but no girls be considered as anything but looking for replacements or new guys to talk to? So in the heat of when I found this out, I send her a pretty stern voice note in a tone I regret asking why she’s following that ratio of girls to guys when she has deemed me as “perfect”, “the one”, and “her favorite ever” and when she’s said we’re locked in and committed and I’ve agreed. Like at this point I wasn’t even looking at other girls anymore so it was really hurtful. So she responds nds with saying she follows everyone(not true) and that I’m reading way too much into this and that she’ll unfollow if there is a problem and now she feels confused and off about me. She also said she knows I don’t trust her now. She said she was going to get gas and after that, she ignored all of my texts for a week but always viewed my stories so I knew she just didn’t want to talk to me. This really breaks my heart because she told me she wasn’t like that and she would never just leave. So after a week, she finally responded and said that “I’m sorry and that I should’ve said something and I didn’t want you to think I left so easily. I have a on my plate rn and you’re such a sweet guy and I really hope this could work in the future but I have too much rn I’m sorry.” So I respond saying that I understand I’m not the most important thing in her life and that I was sorry for making her think I didn’t trust her because I do and I just wanted to understand her pov. I also said that I want to be a safe space for her and that she can communicate that with me bc let’s be honest, no one is too busy to shoot out a 5 second text update. Plus, it was too coincidental it came after our first real negative communication. So it’s been over a week and she still hasn’t responded to me so I assume I’ve been ghosted. I miss her so much and I’ve been trying to move on but I blame myself for this so it’s harder to move on then if I got played. Was that the breakup text she sent? It hinted at the future and I know I shouldn’t take her back but I know I would because of how much I miss her. Was I out of line to question her following because I knew I probably should’ve stayed away from the topic but I wanted to communicate how it made me feel. I feel like she def got a friends opinion and then decided to ghost because she seemed more apologetic at first. Is this even a ghost and did she ever really mean what she said about me being the one for her and her favorite guy ever? I want honest opinions on the situation and please don’t just give me the move on talk. I really just can’t and I feel like I’ve messed everything up and that I may love her. Should I call her? I don’t want to seem desperate.

Hi friends! Real talk. Last night the kids went live with Matt. Unfortunately people were being jerks so I won’t be allowing them to go live anymore. Between grown adults telling them that they’re cute but Pam’s better and pretending to be their deceased sister saying disgusting things about their mom…it’s just wrong. They’re kids. It’s a line you just don’t cross. And while we teach them about bullies, I won’t be subjecting them to abusive adults. It’s sad that there are grown adults who don’t know how to control themselves and have such issues within themselves that they feel the dire need to put children down. As their mom it’s my job to protect them so that’s what I’m going to do. And while I’m at it, I’m requesting if you’re here with ill intent to please just leave our community. We have no room in this community for the kind of hate some people have in their hearts. If you don’t like me or the way I run this business no one is forcing you to be here and you are free to leave. If I feel the need to block someone and/or remove someone from our community it is my right to do so. You may not like it or agree with it, but I can and will do as I see fit. This is to protect myself, my family, my employees, my shoppers, and anyone else who is involved with JJ Rae. We appreciate everyone who has and continues to show us love and we will continue to sprinkle love and kindness into this world whenever and wherever we can ❤️
someone’s reponse.
I don’t think that horrible post came from anyone in that Read group. I finally checked it out because frankly I was sickened by that comment. That group totally was appalled that it was posted!
I think some very sick individual posted that for attention. Maybe from the JJ Rae side to bump up engagement.
I am glad you are pulling the kids from lives. I worked in law enforcement and there are many sick individuals that easily can exploit your kids, which is heartbreaking!
I wish I could shop and show support, I was banned early on because I asked about the business being for sale. I did not mean it disrespectful at all. I just worried that I would order and then JJ Rae would close.
I figured I would wait out all of the drama and then rejoin. You have enough on your plate without adding more!
Again, I am sorry that that awful comment was posted last night. It actually hurt my heart!
Look closely at those surrounding you and make sure it didn’t come from someone in your camp. Weirdo’s hide closest to those they are most comfortable with.
I pray for brighter days for all!❤️

Proof I was here. (As I stated in the first thread, I will not be disclosing this location to any of you. Took as neutral of a photo as I could. If you live here, MAYBE you'll recognize it.)
Link to part one.
Before we begin, let me start by saying WOW, simply because when I passed out last night, I was hovering around ~350 upvotes and had a steady trickle of interaction with people. I was doing my best to respond to the comments as they came in. Then, when I woke up this morning, ya'll...I had over 1500 messages in my inbox and the thread has fucktupled in upvotes, just overnight. I'm so sorry if I didn't respond to you...it was a fool's errand to try and get to everyone.
I also want to address specifically a small handful of you...the ones I was certain would show up in the comments to basically call me a liar or say my story was fabricated. Some of the reasons you gave were pretty telling. My favorite was when someone said something along the lines of "This is too well-written to be true." What a world we live in where clear dictation automatically disqualifies a recounting of events from being accurate. I'll admit that it read closer to a novel than anything else, but that's just how I dictate I guess.
Anyways, onto the update.
I arrived at the tire shop just a hair after 8:00am. There was one gentleman in line at the counter when I arrived, but he was already being assisted by one of the associates manning the register. I took a look around and peeked my head in the back office area where I knew John typically worked when he wasn't being pulled into a bay.
John wasn't there.
As I walked towards the sitting area, I happened to ask an employee who was walking by if he knew when John would be in today. He told me John usually arrives a bit before 9:00am when he worked mornings, so I should just chill for a bit. I didn't have anything pressing to attend to today, so I did just that.
As I moved towards a seat, I happened to glance outside at the working bays and noticed my ol' buddy Eric, who was currently walking towards the main building. When he saw me, I watched as his head drooped down and I could visibly see him mutter the word "Fuck" under his breath. He stopped for just a second, shook his head, and continued walking towards the building.
When he came inside, he set a packet with what I presume was a customer order on the counter and said something to the clerk at the register. He hesitated for a moment and walked over to where I was sitting. As he approached, I greeted him with "Morning, Eric." and smiled. He just stood over me for a moment before he took a chair across the coffee table that was sitting in front of me.
Wonder what his next move was?
Honestly, I didn't expect it, but the dude opened with "I owe you an apology."
Color me shocked, I guess.
Now, you see...at this point about a billion things began to run around in my head. MOSTLY, for some reason, the things that ran most prominently through my mind were all the calls for bloodshed that popped up in the last thread. All the claims that Boomers can never learn and the only language they knew was bullying, which were thrown at me like mortars practically every step I took. Ya'll were bloodthristy last night and still were this morning, convinced that this gentleman was a drunkard asshat, but do drunk asshats apologize after doing something wrong?
Back to the story.
He continued on, saying that he didn't just owe ME an apology, but also the cashier he yelled at last night, and how he had actually planned on returning to Walmart on his lunch break to see if she was working so he could apologize to her as well. In his words "I've been dealing with a lot of personal shit in my life recently including the loss of a loved one, and I took that out on ya'll last night and it wasn't right."
Right about this time is when I noticed that John had arrived. He walked in through the door behind where Eric and I were sitting and walked straight into the back area I checked before. We will get to that later.
Guys, I honestly had no idea what to do. On one hand yes, this dude was a raging douchebag to that girl last night, but this felt genuine. I mentioned several times in the first thread that I didn't want to react hastily and this is exactly why. Had I gone in there and thrown a colossal fit and started a shitstorm, I don't know if this would have ended the same.
Anyways, I don't wish to grandstand things further. The guy apologized, I stood up and shook his hand, and I simply told him "Be good to people for no reason, man. Kindness is free and isn't a sign of weakness." We chatted a bit and had a bit of a revelation that Eric and I have a distant connection neither of us really knew about. I won't disclose what or how we knew each other for personal reasons.
Then John came out of the back office.
He recognized me and gave me a hug. Asked what I was in for. I basically told him that I ran into Eric at the store last night and wanted to check in on him and get an update on an issue he was having there.
That's when John said "Yeah, Eric I need to talk to you about that. I had a lady call me about something that happened at Walmart you were involved in."
Oh shit. I'm guessing either the manager or the cashier called John after what happened last night. I guess the ball isn't in my court any longer.
Eric gave a deep sigh and basically told John "I was a shithead to a cashier last night because I was in a hurry. I wasn't thinking and it wasn't right. I'm gonna make it right at lunch time. I hope she's working today." John then said something I didn't catch and him and Eric walked into the back room.
That's it. End of story. I took a scrap from a notebook, jotted down my "proof" and snapped a photo, then jumped in my car and left.
I certainly hope that this brings you guys whatever closure you were looking for. I'm certain some of you aren't going to be happy with how this turned out, given how many pitchforks I saw last night. But after all this, all I can say is to not be so hasty when jumping to conclusions. People are people, ya'll. You can't really be sure what someone is going through before you jump to judgment. Some folks don't know how to ask for forgiveness or don't know how to take responsibility for their actions, but some folks can. I'm glad this resolved itself the way it did. John knows what happened and knows that it happened with his business on full display, so he can now CHOOSE how HE reacts with that information. I got the closure I needed, and I hope the cashier does too. Time will tell in that regard, I suppose.
Be good to each other.

We've had our dog with us a little over a month now, everything was going great until about a week ago. I was leaving for work and my husband had the day off.
I pick him up and give him a kiss goodbye and hand him over to my husband, so he doesn't trip me as I walk out the door.
Ever since then, he has been practically terrified of my husband. He will leave the room when my husband enters, he no longer clings to husband and really only comes to lay on me. He has his tail tucked and shakes when he gets near him. (We think he is a chihuahua rat terrier mix) He still has his nutty buddies, not sure if those would cause anything emotion distress towards my husband.
My husbands heart is broken because this was "His" dog and he feels he's invested so much time into him for him to be scared of my husband.
Husband says he has done nothing to harm the dog or make him feel bad, he always give him treats and pets and love.
My husband is being a little over dramatic in my opinion about this, he's even said that he is "my dog now' and he is only there for the labor (feeding and taking him out when I'm not home)
We got this dog together and moved/bought a house just so we could adopt him, I'm not sure what to do about this. I tried to google what we should do and I'm coming up with mixed answers.
We live near Mobile AL. Husband works at a boarding facility and grew attached to this little abandoned baby and brought me in to see him and we fell in love with our little man.
Any advice on what we can do to mend their relationship? I know things take time, I think my husband is just hurt and in his feelings and unable to think like an adult about this. Our dog is about 5 years old, Husband is 35, I'm 25.
Thank you in advance

This is really hard for me to talk about because I struggle to understand & accept it and I don’t talk to anyone irl about it which sometimes sucks & makes me feel alone. So I’m gonna try this & see if anyone has anything useful to tell me bc I could really use any advice or support right now that I can get. This might be a long story so I’m sorry in advance.
I’m 22 and I’ve lived with my bf (24) for 3 years. We do everything together and in my opinion we’re very close and alike but in his opinion the love that we have/the love he gets from me is not enough bc about a year & a half into living together, we went thru some money struggles & his loss of a close family member which really affected him and he hasn’t really been completely the same since. But even before that loss, about a year & a half into our relationship, he decided to tell me that he’s decided he’s poly. Which I don’t agree with and I’ve made it clear. And I know the normal thing to do in that situation is go okay, well you need to leave him because you both aren’t on the same page with what you want in your relationship. I just want him to choose me and put me first like i do to him, he means everything to me. He is actually the only family i really have which is why it’s extremely hard for me to leave him. but i can feel him slowly slipping away from me. And i have tried to end things before kind of a lot of times, but we never end up following thru with it bc he apologizes, lies & says he’ll choose me over “being poly” , delete all the dating apps, stop liking naked pictures, or whatever the case may be at the time. Or he has said in the past he would go crazy & they would have to put him in a mental hospital if we broke up, bc he can’t handle another loss after his close family member passed. So obviously i feel guilty. I always just hoped in the back of my mind that one day he would wake up from this bullshit and stop with the “poly” phase and be loyal. But it’s not happening. & he always gets back on the dating apps or whatever else he does and acts like i’m in the wrong for not letting him “be who he is” which is “poly”.
In my opinion it’s one thing if he had made this great revelation BEFORE we started dating but it just makes me feel tricked that he didn’t mention it ever once UNTIL we had been living together for like a year already. Bc if he told me that when I met him I never would’ve dated him and I never would’ve fallen in love with him and moved in with him.
I look at his phone about once every 3-6 months & every time i do i find something new & bad. He always turns it on me saying i’m in the wrong for going thru it but I really wish I didn’t have to do that but if i didn’t i would never find out anything. Bc he claims he doesn’t want to waste my time with telling me about someone who’s just playing with him (like something that’s not serious) bc he hasn’t found any girl willing to go fuck off and be poly with him (i don’t think any girl like that actually exists.) despite his ongoing search for a new girlfriend (or “connection”). but yet i feel lied to bc when i look at his instagram he acts single & he dms so many random girls LUSTFULLY. And it’s so embarrassing. On top of that girls rarely reply to him bc no one wants a random man lusting in their dms. I had no idea this was the type of person he was or i wouldn’t be with him. And when i ask him about it he lies or covers it up saying he’s not like that and he isn’t lustful & that being poly isn’t about sex it’s about forming a connection with multiple people. Well if it wasn’t about sex then he wouldn’t be lusting after random girls in their dms. And btw instagram has been an issue in the past due to me finding out he hearted a pic of a girl he knew, basically a nude or a bikini pic. And the way that situation went was that he said omg i’ll delete my whole instagram and i’m done with it since this is a problem. But i told him no stop saying that shit you know you don’t mean it and you’ll be back on it in 3 days. He’s like no i mean it and yeah then in three days he was back on it. This happened a few times with other apps like tinder and every time i’m like please just save it bc we both know you saying you’re permanently off these apps isn’t true.
I don’t even have instagram anymore ever since i saw the bikini pic bc i just didn’t want to spend my energy anymore feeling like i wasn’t as pretty as the girls he follows or interacts with, so i actually followed thru and deactivated my whole account & haven’t been on it since. (at least a year) other than that i don’t use SM other than reddit & lurking on twitter sometimes & watching tiktoks. I’m not a SM girlie it not that I’m not pretty ( not trying to sound narcissistic) but i’m not an ugly girl i just really prefer privacy and don’t like posting myself online. But seemingly my bfs type is SM wh-res and i’m truly not judging the girls, I’m judging my bf.
This morning i looked at his instagram and found some extremely NSFW dms from him to a few random girls & found message conversations with a girl that’s poly that’s out of our state that he talks to often & opens up to her about things he doesn’t open up to me about, and gives her the nicest compliments that he never gives me, says she’s the prettiest girl he’s seen, sympathies w her over her personal struggles w life & relationships, calls the girl his soulmate & says they share a brain, complains about me not accepting him being poly & going thru his phone and being “threatened” by her & has shared some personal details about my life that i don’t share with people even my close friends. and much more. however he still spins it on me being in the wrong for not accepting him and going thru his phone. he never takes accountability for what he does & always lies about it not being as bad as it is and that i’m reading into things. the problem is i don’t believe what he does is poly i believe it to be CHEATING. I believe it is possible to have an honest poly relationship (not that i want one) but what he does is not honest. he has betrayed me, even tho he has never slept with anyone else while we have been in our relationship, and he has only gone on one date in person with someone else throughout our entire relationship (that date ended up going nowhere). (not that he even takes ME out on dates & if he does make a plan to go to the movies or a basketball game he always ends up inviting our friends along everytime.)
He still treats me with love and care & does a lot of things for me , he supported us when we went through our financial struggles after i got in a car accident & couldn’t work, he is always here for me but doesn’t really let me be there for him. I owe him a lot of rent money from the time that i couldn’t work & he paid rent by himself. He doesn’t hold my debt over my head but he mentioned it to the girl on instagram . which made me feel betrayed.
I told him off about what i found in his phone & took pics of the evidence which ive never done before & sent it to him and i want to know if i’m overreacting to his betrayal or if i’m in the wrong for expecting loyalty from my 3 yr relationship. /:
AIO my bf is emotionally cheating on me with instagram girls and out of state poly girl.
thanks for reading

Peering over precipice
"Come on down now" they all say
Wobbly legged and staggered breath
Pixilated, minuscule objects surveyed
"Come on down now" they say
"Come on down"
.
Deafening pulse beats interplay
Hardened, swallowed, tacky tongued
Adrenaline pumped through oxidized veins
Knotted pink matter want undone
"Come on down now" they hum
"Come on down"
.
Sweat drip off of pallid skin
Wind whipped hair and salt stung eyes
A dampened fire from deep within
Heart bound and battered; soul brutalized
"Come on down now" they cry
"Come on down"
.
A bell tolled on a distant clock
A fumbled fall toward ecstasy
A broken body on black asphalt caught
Stark picture splayed under crisp white sheets
Come on down now, indeed
Come on down

This next part is a personal story with examples, feel free to see questions at the end :)
I'm going to ask you not to take this story so seriously as I'm basically a veteran with trauma at this point, TW: Abuse and manipulation
Soo, I feel like this is probably an autistic thing considering it happens so much. I still have trouble's with any relationship and getting close because when I was a child and adolescent I was gas-lit by every "significant other" I had and loved with all my heart,same with adult's who actually abused me making it out that I'm a psychopath (mostly because I was scared to say anything immediately out of fear of threatened death or worse).
I became calloused and lost my true self along the way out of defense and just found it again recently. But now everyone think's I'm just a dick. I will prove them wrong but still I find that most adult relationships are like this. They act cool, seemingly get jealous of my child like wonder and go with the flow ways (of course interrupted by my overstim occasionally) however I know what I need. And they gaslight me. just a few weeks ago I had to relocate to my hometown because I had stood up to a bully. the shelter I stayed at said I get hospitalized or leave everything, the bully (with a family of course) said I had threatened him. I went out of my way not to.
So some questions! :
Have you experienced stuff like this before? (it doesn't have to be as serious of course, however it feels like something we may just have to accept)
How often do people attempt to gaslight you?
How often does ANYONE believe you?
Does it usually end up 180ing on you, where suddenly your the terrible human?
Anything else related you would like to talk about? Feel free!

A question I am genuinely curious about, why doesn’t Rolex sell watches direct from Manufacturer to consumer directly?
Let’s say Rolex ramps up production from 1 million to 1.5 million watches per year. They sell 10% of them online. Rough estimates: average cost per watch is $15,000 and the AD’s overhead cut is 35%. Rolex HQ pockets over $500 million per year, with very little expenses and risks. They can also ramp up production on watches customers want, and reduce the production that aren’t in demand.
Benefits to the customer: - some customers don’t really care about the whole Red carpet experience or the glass of champagne. They just want to get a watch and then carry on with their lives. - some customers don’t live close to an AD. - customers and also get a better experience with not having to do deal with shady AD practices like bundling etc.

I should get started in mc donalds.
And I've always had trouble remembering what the order was, when people say it. Because I feel like I have to juggle being extroverted, to talk loudly, smiling, outgoing, and in same time, remembering what customer said he wants (especially I fear when drive thru, what if person mumbles something through car, and I'm expected to understand and remember what order was ? ).
In my mind, when someone talks, I remember few key points, but in this job, it will be required I remember every detail. Like, if customer said "and little more tomato on sides".
I will skip over it and forget, as I don't remember, and fear of asking again, as I haven't heard them first time. and what if i ask one more time, then customer get frustrated. And mumbles, and just 😱😱😱 all i think in my mind, blank 😱😱😱

English isnt my first language so this will have alot of grammatical mistakes. Please be considerate During the pandemic I met a girl on discord. We instantly felt the connection and within a month, we got very close and starting calling each other 'bestu' (cringed and affectionate way of saying best friend). It was purely platonic at first but we got very very close to each other and i felt a very non-romantic love for her at that time. She lives around 900 miles away from me. We met once in 2022 and it 0was crazy fun hanging out with her.
I started dating someone and eventually got in a relationship with her. We broke up after 9 months and I was actually devastated. At that time my bestf really helped me. I started catching feelings for her but i couldnt do anything as she was dating someone else.
3 months later she told me that she kind of emotionally cheated on the guy she was dating which eventually led to breakup and she started dating the other guy. He was a looser ngl and within a month she broke up with him as well. This happened around january 2024. She told me that I as her bestf treat her so nice that none of the other guys meet her expectations.
Now since the past 2 months we both are flirting alot with each other which never happened before this. She used to flirt with me in the beggining but thats it. I never even tried flirting with her. So past 2 months we have been flirting which includes cute romantic lines and also very explicit sexual flirting. 4 days ago she asked me that what if she fell in love with me? I said i will come meet her again and will take her on a very romantic and perfect date which we also discussed a few times earlier. She got really flustered hearing this. Later that night she told me that she is very aroused. I told her the same and we sort of started sending each other explicit pictures (not nudes) and also started teasing each other by saying hot stuff. We didnt sext but that was the first time we both agreed on the possibility of having sex when we meet next time. Later I teased her a lil too much and she left abruptly saying she cant control the urges anymore. The next day he laughed it off and I asked her if she genuinely meant everything she said last night. She said yes. The next night we again got really aroused and the teasing started again. It got more and more intense with time. We didnt sext as we both agree that its too imaginative and we both feel awkward about it. That night we slept at around 4 am cuz we both had college next day. The next day I was casually flirting and she suddenly said that she thinks we should stop whatever we are doing. I said okay but asked her the reason. She said she doesnt want to risk our friendship just for sex. Idk i confessed her my feelings. I told her that i have romantic feelings for her.
It broke my heart that she didnt feel the same. I said okay its fine but I was devasted deep down. We were still talking everyday but she could obviously understand that I am not behaving like I used to everyday. My replies were dry and I completely stopped flirting and also stopped reacting we she flirted with me. Today she called me and said that she can see us together in the future but doesnt wanna risk what we have now. I asked her if she actually meant the things she said when she was aroused.
She answered with a yes. Then she explained that she denied my feelings cuz the certainity of that happening is very low altho if life brings a way she will definitely try to work this out. She also said that she doesnt wanna get my brain messed up.
I do agree with whatever she is saying but it definitely hurts my feelings. I also agree that we shouldnt risk our bond like this. But I am scared what if some other guy comes and the possibility becomes zero. What should I do and how should I move forward.
TLDR - my bestf denied my feelings but later said that she can see us together but not anytime soon so its risky to risk our friendship.

18M experiences weird ghosting(?) by 18F
So there’s this girl that I was talking to for like 2 months. We’re both seniors and are going to the same college so it was really easy to bond and throughout the two months we really connected with each other. Like after about a month we were mutually committed to each other and we would talk on the phone all night, talk throughout the day, and be there for each other whenever it was needed. The only real problem is that I tend to overthink a lot, as I’ve had bad anxiety issues in the past. This windiest is compounded by the fact I was played in my last relationship by a girl who said she loved me and swore she was loyal that was talking to other dudes and picked them over me. But anyways, I would try to express how the overthinking made me feel to her but I really wanted to get her on a call because other than seeing her we only exchanged voice notes and never really got on calls. This expanded my intuition and made me think I was getting played so I did some mild research. We follow each other on Ig and she has a lot upwards of a thousand followers, which also set some alarm bells off in my brain because I knew she was most likely lying that I was the only want for her and everything. Also, just through like looking at her post comments, I saw that she still had her ex bfs flirty comments up there for a while when we were talking and that she still followed him, making me think that I was possibly going to be a rebound. Also, based on her TikTok reposts, she was just starting to get over him when she told me they had been done for three months so I didn’t know what to believe. But while we were talking, me and her shared everything with each other like past trauma, current issues, and I play guitar so I would sing love songs to her or send them to her(corny Ik) so she told me that she’s been deeply traumatized in past relationships and that her ex was the worst of them all because he would use her for her body and I think she implied some abuse so I knew to be gentle with her. She also said that no guy had ever put in so much effort to talk to and understand her and that it was so different and special to her. So everything is going good and I really like this girl, like more than anyone before. And like I said, we’re going to the same college so we both like follow the college posting accounts and follow people that are going to be her classmates. So one day, I follow someone a guy in there with my major, but when I do I realize my girl already followed him. So I go back to the college account (which consists of 90% girls) and realize that she hasn’t followed a single girl on there and follows basically every guy. This makes me feel awful because just logically, on an account with 90% girls being posted, can you following every dude but no girls be considered as anything but looking for replacements or new guys to talk to? So in the heat of when I found this out, I send her a pretty stern voice note in a tone I regret asking why she’s following that ratio of girls to guys when she has deemed me as “perfect”, “the one”, and “her favorite ever” and when she’s said we’re locked in and committed and I’ve agreed. Like at this point I wasn’t even looking at other girls anymore so it was really hurtful. So she responds nds with saying she follows everyone(not true) and that I’m reading way too much into this and that she’ll unfollow if there is a problem and now she feels confused and off about me. She also said she knows I don’t trust her now. She said she was going to get gas and after that, she ignored all of my texts for a week but always viewed my stories so I knew she just didn’t want to talk to me. This really breaks my heart because she told me she wasn’t like that and she would never just leave. So after a week, she finally responded and said that “I’m sorry and that I should’ve said something and I didn’t want you to think I left so easily. I have a on my plate rn and you’re such a sweet guy and I really hope this could work in the future but I have too much rn I’m sorry.” So I respond saying that I understand I’m not the most important thing in her life and that I was sorry for making her think I didn’t trust her because I do and I just wanted to understand her pov. I also said that I want to be a safe space for her and that she can communicate that with me bc let’s be honest, no one is too busy to shoot out a 5 second text update. Plus, it was too coincidental it came after our first real negative communication. So it’s been over a week and she still hasn’t responded to me so I assume I’ve been ghosted. I miss her so much and I’ve been trying to move on but I blame myself for this so it’s harder to move on then if I got played. Was that the breakup text she sent? It hinted at the future and I know I shouldn’t take her back but I know I would because of how much I miss her. Was I out of line to question her following because I knew I probably should’ve stayed away from the topic but I wanted to communicate how it made me feel. I feel like she def got a friends opinion and then decided to ghost because she seemed more apologetic at first. Is this even a ghost and did she ever really mean what she said about me being the one for her and her favorite guy ever? I want honest opinions on the situation and please don’t just give me the move on talk. I really just can’t and I feel like I’ve messed everything up and that I may love her. Should I call her? I don’t want to seem desperate.

hi! I’m coming here to see if anyone has had the same experience. I have a bad dairy allergy, and the recent implosion of the dairy free market has been great for me! I don’t get “classic” airway and heart system symptoms, but instead skin and GI anaphylaxis symptoms.
I usually buy Miyoko’s dairy free cream cheese but recently got sick after having the scallion dairy free cream cheese. I wasn’t sure if it was a one off thing or just my stomach, so I had it again today. Once again I got sick within a few hours of eating it.
I looked at the label again and it no longer says DAIRY FREE anywhere on the packaging, only lactose free. There’s nothing in the ingredients which would include dairy. The only thing is that the kosher symbol has a DE, dairy equipment.
I’m curious if anyone else has had symptoms 😔 or noticed a change in the packaging from dairy free to just lactose free. The website still says dairy free so I am confused.
Thank you!!

I have been suffering with left sided ear fullness since mid February!!!!! There was never any pain, but at first it was so bad it felt TOTALLY full and stuffy with muffled hearing and I could hear the echo of my own voice.
The ENT just looked into my ear, said it was normal, chalked it up to Eustachian tube dysfunction and told me I had to live with it/“it might go away but no promises”. I’m thinking of seeing another ent for a second opinion because I'm not satisfied with that.
I went to an Allergist about 6 weeks ago because I thought I had asthma like symptoms (life long allergy sufferer) and diagnosed me with silent reflux. With a perscription PPI, diet changes, and elevated sleeping my problem has resolved maybe 75-80%. He also is treating my normal allergies/post nasal drip. Allergies are totally managed now. Last time I saw him he suggested debrox to clean my ears (even though they’re completely clear). The debrox made it worse for a few days.
I'm grateful for having improvement but just hate this feeling! It’s a full feeling, mild pressure, with some pulsatile qualities when I’m physically exerting myself. If I close my mouth and hum really loud/hard/steady in a quiet room I can hear my heart beat. Even when I feel fine, I check to see if I can hear the heart beat - and it’s always there :( and it's postural, its only there depending on how I move my head.
I notice if I eat anything dairy/especially full fat dairy, it temporarily gets a lot worse. But he says if it were allergy related both ears would be equally effected.
My new GI doc has a tentative diagnosis of dyspepsia (instead of silent reflux) and is doing a full work up on me - but I forgot to mention the ear fullness to him!!! In my heart, I think this could be related to reflux but I want his opinion.
TLDR: At first I thought it was allergies (allergist says no, because it’s not bilateral), then I thought it was intracranial pressure (eye doc and retina specialist say I’m fine), then I thought it was reflux related - which, since starting treatment for reflux in the beginning of April, has made a nice improvement but not a full resolution. Now I’m wondering if it’s a straight up dairy intolerance?
I don’t know what to do!!!!!!!!!