Disclaimer: I’m sorry, it’s really long.
My husband (28M) and I (29F) got married in December, a couple of years back. I’d known him since school, and we reconnected on March of the year we got married. Most of the relationship was long distance, since he lives in a different continent, but he did visit me during this time, and we stayed together for a couple of months. It was magical, and we decided to go ahead and get married.
At the time of our wedding, he was on student visa, and had just completed his course. He didn’t have a job, and was applying for jobs then. I didn’t think much of it, since I’d been working for 5 years then. I assumed I could support him till he got a stable job.
Fast forward to the wedding, his parents refused to attend because they had a disagreement with my parents over the dowry. They wanted $49k as dowry, which my parents and I thought was unreasonable. He also agreed, it was indeed unreasonable. But since his parents refused to attend the wedding, he asked if I could also not invite my parents, and if it could be just the two of us at the wedding, because he’d feel awkward as no one was present for him. (it was a court marriage) Although I didn’t like this idea initially, I agreed, because I wanted him to feel happy, as it was supposed to be our day. Then he started negging me to the point, where he chose my wedding dress, down to the Color, hairstyle, cut and everything. I didn’t think much of it, to be fair.
He flies down here, we get married, and he flies back in a week.
I was supposed to travel to the country he was at, on a dependent visa. Due to diplomatic issues between the countries, my visa gets delayed over 8 months. And we didn’t know when I’d get the visa. So, my parents suggested he come here instead, so we could be together, as he did not have a job at the time and could look for one here instead. To which he agreed, but him and mil had “demands” 1. We’re to buy him a car that costs no less than $30k since we need transportation 2. We’re to either buy a house worth $90k of their liking, at his hometown, where neither my parents or I stay, or get that money deposited in a joint account that him and I’d share, so we’d have no difficulties to “settle in”
Although I find it ridiculous, my parents agreed since they couldn’t see the distance taking a toll on us. I start looking for jobs at his hometown and secure one that pays well. It had been 2 months, but he still wouldn’t even book his tickets.
Eventually, I got the visa 10 months after our marriage, and I moved in with him and his parents. It is very awkward, since he doesn’t earn, because of which, his parents have to spend for us. Everyday, he says he’s trying to find a job, but is either playing games on his phone or asleep. I ask him to help me apply for my employment documents, which he refuses to, because he suddenly wants me to be a stay at home wife. Although I worked very hard to build my career, and it breaks my heart, I agree if it’s what makes him happy. But suggest that, I’d work till he finds a job, as I’m not comfortable with his parents spending on us. But I can’t do much, since I need a work permit, and he refuses to give me his credentials to apply for the same. This causes several fights between us.
2 days after I moved in with him, mil and husband start asking about the money and the car, we’d discussed. I told him, it was only if he were to move there, which he did not. This enraged both of them, and they’d constantly call my parents up and fight over it, making me pick sides, and if I backed my parents up, they’d starve me for a day.
Two months later, I get pregnant. Mil, for some reason walks into our bathroom, sees the pregnancy test on the counter, does not say a word to me, and proceeds to call doctors to find out how to get an abortion, in front of me. Since it was illegal in the state we were at, she proceeds to call my parents and tell them we need a $100k for the hospital expenses, at the time of child birth, since I did not have an insurance. Or I could fly back to be with my parents, and he’d come visit the child and I, every year, which I found offensive.
Eventually, when my parents didn’t agree to both of it, they said I need to go home and get an abortion. When I refused, they proceeded to starve me for 3 entire days and my dad booked a ticket and helped me escape the hellhole.
After I got home, they’d constantly call and harass me, saying, don’t get the abortion, just give us the money and we could raise the child together. When we didn’t agree, because we genuinely don’t have that kind of money, and I don’t want to raise a child all by myself, I went ahead with the abortion.
There were complications during the surgery because I was too far along, and hence I was on bed rest for over a month after it. In this time, he calls and demands a divorce, since his mother has found him a “good girl” to marry.
I felt like my world fell apart, and ended up in therapy for feeling suicidal. We eventually, had no choice but agree to a divorce.
As soon as we mentioned alimony, he said he loves me very much and does not want a divorce. He calls my parents and apologises, saying he was blinded by rage, and did not mean it, and that he wants to reconcile. Both him and mil apologise to me, for how they treated me. My parents encourage me to give it another shot, and I agree. However, I want it all in writing that, he’ll never ask my parents for money again, either he’ll come here, or I’d move there, but we get a place of our own and not reside with parents and this is to happen within 6 months. Although he agrees to these terms, he refuses to give it in writing, because it’s “disrespectful”. I do not want to reconcile, because him refusing to do it is sus.
So, I tell him I’d go ahead with the divorce, to which he says, he has no money to give as alimony. When I said that is not my problem, he faked a heart attack, which went away, the moment I asked for medical documentation.
I end up choosing mental peace and say, I want no alimony, and just want to get him out of my life. The minute I say that, he becomes extremely lovey doves and is begging me to remarry him after 2 years of the divorce. I said, ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Now he’s calling all the relatives and mutual friends and painting me an asshole over it. AITA for not wanting to do anything with him and choosing my mental peace over everything?
I apologise again for the super long post.

Disclaimer: I’m sorry, it’s really long.
My husband (28M) and I (29F) got married in December, a couple of years back. I’d known him since school, and we reconnected on March of the year we got married. Most of the relationship was long distance, since he lives in a different continent, but he did visit me during this time, and we stayed together for a couple of months. It was magical, and we decided to go ahead and get married.
At the time of our wedding, he was on student visa, and had just completed his course. He didn’t have a job, and was applying for jobs then. I didn’t think much of it, since I’d been working for 5 years then. I assumed I could support him till he got a stable job.
Fast forward to the wedding, his parents refused to attend because they had a disagreement with my parents over the dowry. They wanted $49k as dowry, which my parents and I thought was unreasonable. He also agreed, it was indeed unreasonable. But since his parents refused to attend the wedding, he asked if I could also not invite my parents, and if it could be just the two of us at the wedding, because he’d feel awkward as no one was present for him. (it was a court marriage) Although I didn’t like this idea initially, I agreed, because I wanted him to feel happy, as it was supposed to be our day. Then he started negging me to the point, where he chose my wedding dress, down to the Color, hairstyle, cut and everything. I didn’t think much of it, to be fair.
He flies down here, we get married, and he flies back in a week.
I was supposed to travel to the country he was at, on a dependent visa. Due to diplomatic issues between the countries, my visa gets delayed over 8 months. And we didn’t know when I’d get the visa. So, my parents suggested he come here instead, so we could be together, as he did not have a job at the time and could look for one here instead. To which he agreed, but him and mil had “demands” 1. We’re to buy him a car that costs no less than $30k since we need transportation 2. We’re to either buy a house worth $90k of their liking, at his hometown, where neither my parents or I stay, or get that money deposited in a joint account that him and I’d share, so we’d have no difficulties to “settle in”
Although I find it ridiculous, my parents agreed since they couldn’t see the distance taking a toll on us. I start looking for jobs at his hometown and secure one that pays well. It had been 2 months, but he still wouldn’t even book his tickets.
Eventually, I got the visa 10 months after our marriage, and I moved in with him and his parents. It is very awkward, since he doesn’t earn, because of which, his parents have to spend for us. Everyday, he says he’s trying to find a job, but is either playing games on his phone or asleep. I ask him to help me apply for my employment documents, which he refuses to, because he suddenly wants me to be a stay at home wife. Although I worked very hard to build my career, and it breaks my heart, I agree if it’s what makes him happy. But suggest that, I’d work till he finds a job, as I’m not comfortable with his parents spending on us. But I can’t do much, since I need a work permit, and he refuses to give me his credentials to apply for the same. This causes several fights between us.
2 days after I moved in with him, mil and husband start asking about the money and the car, we’d discussed. I told him, it was only if he were to move there, which he did not. This enraged both of them, and they’d constantly call my parents up and fight over it, making me pick sides, and if I backed my parents up, they’d starve me for a day.
Two months later, I get pregnant. Mil, for some reason walks into our bathroom, sees the pregnancy test on the counter, does not say a word to me, and proceeds to call doctors to find out how to get an abortion, in front of me. Since it was illegal in the state we were at, she proceeds to call my parents and tell them we need a $100k for the hospital expenses, at the time of child birth, since I did not have an insurance. Or I could fly back to be with my parents, and he’d come visit the child and I, every year, which I found offensive.
Eventually, when my parents didn’t agree to both of it, they said I need to go home and get an abortion. When I refused, they proceeded to starve me for 3 entire days and my dad booked a ticket and helped me escape the hellhole.
After I got home, they’d constantly call and harass me, saying, don’t get the abortion, just give us the money and we could raise the child together. When we didn’t agree, because we genuinely don’t have that kind of money, and I don’t want to raise a child all by myself, I went ahead with the abortion.
There were complications during the surgery because I was too far along, and hence I was on bed rest for over a month after it. In this time, he calls and demands a divorce, since his mother has found him a “good girl” to marry.
I felt like my world fell apart, and ended up in therapy for feeling suicidal. We eventually, had no choice but agree to a divorce.
As soon as we mentioned alimony, he said he loves me very much and does not want a divorce. He calls my parents and apologises, saying he was blinded by rage, and did not mean it, and that he wants to reconcile. Both him and mil apologise to me, for how they treated me. My parents encourage me to give it another shot, and I agree. However, I want it all in writing that, he’ll never ask my parents for money again, either he’ll come here, or I’d move there, but we get a place of our own and not reside with parents and this is to happen within 6 months. Although he agrees to these terms, he refuses to give it in writing, because it’s “disrespectful”. I do not want to reconcile, because him refusing to do it is sus.
So, I tell him I’d go ahead with the divorce, to which he says, he has no money to give as alimony. When I said that is not my problem, he faked a heart attack, which went away, the moment I asked for medical documentation.
I end up choosing mental peace and say, I want no alimony, and just want to get him out of my life. The minute I say that, he becomes extremely lovey doves and is begging me to remarry him after 2 years of the divorce. I said, ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Now he’s calling all the relatives and mutual friends and painting me an asshole over it. AITA for not wanting to do anything with him and choosing my mental peace over everything?
I apologise again for the super long post.

So for background, my partner had to go back to his home country for citizenship reasons & we decided I'd go too. We've been married a year now. He went two months before me, to set everything up. I'd just finished school for the year and didn't want to waste a semester's fees on two months, so I was looking for a job during that time. Couldn't find one due to the time constraints, so was doing odd jobs and taking short courses. Basically, I had almost no money and didn't want to touch my savings until I'd moved. I'd been saving for the move for a year already and had never lived alone before, so wanted to be safe.
My partner found out about a concert for a band we both liked happening where he was, scheduled for after I'd moved. Problem was: concert tickets are expensive and I was already living off instant ramen. Couldn't afford a ticket without being incredibly irresponsible about it.
However, because it was close to my partner's birthday, his mother bought him a ticket as a present. By the time I'd moved to the new country and sorted out my expenses, the tickets were all sold out. I could've been able to afford one if they were still selling by then, but no chance.
I've also befriended my partner's group of childhood friends who are also all going to this concert, and it was a bit awkward when they found out I couldn't go. I did talk to my partner about how I was disappointed, but I didn't say too much because I didn't want him to feel bad. Literally everyone I know in this country is going to this thing, while I stay home because I had no money a few months ago.
Selfishly, I wish he'd sell his ticket and not go. I know that the concert was free for him & we don't lose anything by him going, but I feel irrationally betrayed by it. I put my studies on hold and moved because he had to, and while I'm okay with doing that, I'm frustrated that I feel like I'm stuck missing out on things because he has a support network here and I don't.
Right now, I feel like I don't want him to even acknowledge the concert around me. I keep thinking that he should have tried to pay for me to get a ticket, go halves on the cost or something. He didn't want to do that when I originally brought it up, which felt fair-ish because he was also broke then. It was just bad timing and he got lucky.
There'll be other stuff we can do together in the future, but there's also going to be opportunities he gets that I miss out on. I don't want to feel like a jealous jerk whenever that happens. But, I don't know how to approach the topic without my partner getting defensive and I'm worried this is going to build resentment in future if I don't talk to him about it.
TL;DR, my partner got an opportunity I wanted and I'm upset about it because it feels unfair, but don't want to hurt his feelings or ruin his own happiness over it. How do I navigate dealing with my partner having better opportunities than me without getting bitter?

I have a "friend" (in quotes because I am uncertain if she is a friend as of right now) that I hang out with for craft nights and go hiking with sometimes. I thought we were fairly close. She's very social and always needs to be hanging out with someone, and I frequently can't be that person but she seems to do a good job spreading that need across a lot of people.
She had a birthday party yesterday and didn't invite me and I am extremely confused. I had invited her to coffee a day before and she said yes (we are having coffee tomorrow) and now I'm just super fucking confused. 15+ people at her party (and that's a LOT where we live) and she didn't invite me at all? I find out via instagram?
If not for the fact that she had accepted my invite to coffee, I'd assume she just didn't like me and take the hint, but it seems like I'm getting mixed signals.

Soooo… I started planning this trip earlier this year as a surprise for my boyfriends birthday so I already booked a flight and a hotel a little bit ago but I didn’t take into account how hard it would be to actually get tickets to the event. I was unable to actually get any tickets due to being booted out over and over again with the vip tickets. I’ve been able to cancel the hotel but my flight tickets are nonrefundable and I’ve already tried making calls but they unfortunately won’t work with me. I’m not sure what to do now..

My daughter’s tenth birthday party was today. At one of those indoor fracture farms trampoline places. Invited seven girls, two boys. Boys were Nicolas and Daniel. She’s sweet on Nicolas because he’s got red red hair; she likes gingers.
In the way home, she says to me ,whistfully, “Dad, do you think there will be a day when Nicolas might think of me as more than a friend?”
My poor child, Nicolas is nine years old; it could be three or four years before he discovers girls. May the gods grant her patience!

I was so happy to see that the boys decided to come to Norway, and on my birthday no less!
But the sad fact is that I can’t afford to attend. The tickets for one day at the festival is way too to high for me and my SO. And even if they weren’t I wouldn’t really have the opportunity to attend.. I was blessed with a second child last week and will therefore be busy for the foreseeable future 😅
But if anyone here is attending their performance at the 27th of June I’d love to see clips and videos from the event!

(Im sorry if my english is bad) For starters me (19M) and my best friend (18M) have known eachother since birth. We are both in a friend group that resulted from all of our parents being friends with eachother. The group consists of us two, another guy (19M) and two girls (18F) and (19F). We all grew up very close in Russia, however I am ukrainian. We went to school together, went on vacations together and generally were all doing everything together. Not long ago, when picking out collages, my best friend was telling me about how he wishes he could stay in Russia and how he cant because of some reasons I will not share here, and so naturally I offered that I could go to college with him in another country. Fast forward a few months later we both got into a pretty good collage in Finland. Now about our backround basically my best friend is very close with one of the girls in the group but they both stated that they do not like eachother and if you ask me, they didnt seem to have any kind of spark between eachother. However he was also very close to the other guy in the group. By close I mean that they literally acted like a couple. Whenever we would have school summer camps they would share a bed and sometimes I would even catch them cuddle, they would hug a lot etc. and generally make a lot of jokes about being gay for eachoter and liking eachother. You should know that my best friend is extremely handsome, I mean like model handsome. He is tall, not too muscular and not too skinny, pale skin, green eyes, soft blonde hair and very beautiful features. He looks so beautiful from every single angle, he looks beautiful while he sleeps, when he laughs, when he cries and is probably the most beautiful person I have ever met in my entire life. Despite that, he has never been in a relationship. A lot of girls have liked him in the past but he rejected them and he is pretty popular on social media and gets praised for his looks online as well. Aside from his looks he is also very smart. He is passionated about history and linguistics, he is good at maths and in general he is a very cultured person. He is very kind, funny, loving and has this sensitive side that he doesnt show too often. He just lights up the room everytime even though he is not that kind of positive and happy person you would imagine. He has gone through a lot in his childhood, things that I will not mention. On his 18th birthday, some things happened and I was lucky enough to be in time to stop them, which resulted into him bursting in tears in my arms and telling me how he feels about his life. A lot of time has passed since that event. Now we share an apartament here in Finland and go to college together. He seems happier, or maybe since he doesn’t spend that much time alone anymore he is just distracting himself from all the things he was going through. It is currently risky for me to go back in my home country and so I usually just go to Russia together with him on holidays. I am really enjoying all the time spent with him and I have never felt happier for such a long period of time. Recently he started hanging out with another guy from the same college and not going to lie but I feel kind of jealous. Since then I started to question my feelings for him. I never pictured myself or him actually being gay, let alone together in a relationship. I feel scared and nervous. My mother and her boyfriend will definitely hate me more than they already do and my father will probably think Im a disappointment. I feel as if I am betraying my religion and my identity but at the same time I feel so happy with this man. And here comes the biggest problem of all, what if after all he isnt gay and I will ruin our friendship. Yesterday night he went over to the new guys house.The guy likes him, he told me, asking for advice and more things about my best friend. I was kind of mad that I didnt get invited too, especially when he knows how close we are. Before going, I acted kind of rude towards him, which I regret, but he brushed it off and just left. Later at night when he came home, I was already in bed, pretending to sleep. I heard him change and get straight into his bed. A few moments later he started crying. He was crying very badly and I could tell he was trying to keep quiet. I dont know if anything happened there or if he was crying about my response or about his past because I simply didnt get up or have any kind of reaction, which again, I regret. I tried talking to him today in the morning, I didnt tell him I heard how he cried, I just acted normal, and although he wasnt his usual self, he didnt act sad or anything. I dont know wether I should or should not ask him about last night. And most importantly I dont know if I should tell him about my feelings for him and explain the situation.

ISO: 2 tickets to Nov 2, opening night...
That day is my birthday, and it would mean the absolute world.

Hi there My friends 50th birthday is this year. He is a die hard F1 fan. He watches every race. For his 50th this year, I want to take him to Cota for the USGP. I have a couple of options I am torn about and looking for some help. I can purchase Champions Club for the both of us. It looks like a great setup but I am concerned about the view of the track from the Club area (straight away towards turn 1). I can also get us back row seats in turn 15 which I have read is the best view for the track. The cost difference is $4k per ticket. I am not concerned so much about the cost, but that is a lot of beer and food we can buy over 3 days if we take turn 15. I know the sun can be hot sitting in the stands, but I want the best race experience. The paddock tour would be super cool with Champions, but it is only a 30-45 min guided tour. What should I do. Is the Champions Club worth it or should I go with the best race views at turn 15?

Short version: This question is more towards men than women, as I seek the answer to a question: would you still love someone after nearly two decades? And what would you do if your ex from decades ago express her still ongoing feelings towards you?
*************************************************************************************************************
Long Version:
I (F40) and my ex (M40),we had some most passionate and deep love story in our early 20s.. We were together for 3 and half years, living, travelling together as well as moving countries and being in distance.. We would be most comfortable with each other and happy, popping each day with energy as fireworks! Indeed, it was hot but also very intense, very not well communicating time for both of us. We were young and with past childhood traumas.. He was INTJ and avoidant, I am INFP and anxious person..
The break up came from my part. After arguments on and off, I was feeling like he couldn't understand my emotions and I couldn't understand his logical mind. I cheated, he was broken. Yes, I still see his eyes and face breaking in pain that I caused.. I also didn't understand why I would have done such a thing, I felt shame, still feel it.. And yet, he still wanted me back, after all.. But, so ashamed of myself, and arguments, I was too scared to move to his country.. I was too guilty and ashamed but never really stopped loving him.
Life went on and every now and then we would reconnect online. As friends. Meanwhile, I would start family, on his side- he progressed with his work and passions.. And every time I would write to him, send him picture etc, he would "love" it. When my first one was born and they rolled me to emergency c section, i was worrying, if i die, who will inform that man that I'm no longer here? I would still cry, missing him terribly, while caring for my children.While exchanging few messages, he would jokingly invite me to his country to visit which made butterflies to my stomach. All of this was happening and at some point I realized i was still emotionally attached to him and it was unfair to my current life and children..and that I need to stop writing as I had still feelings towards him. And so, he stopped . That was 5 years after breaking up.
From that moment, our communication only happened for birthdays, I would send him wishes.. And each year passing, my feelings never really subsided. Meanwhile my marriage falls apart (for other reasons, from the beginning we were great friends and not really partners) and my ex husband and I, we remained great friends, doing really fine co-parenting.
I know my ex had a girlfriend in meantime, that he eventually broke up-information that he shared with me. Recently, as now divorced, I happened to travel across Europe and accidently transited (on train that stopped there ) via place we used to live together and ..I sent him pic of that train station that we both remember so well, which he "loved " again. That placed triggered me , I saw our past again.. and how actually happy we were and how I and my actions, have let that go..
This year 16 years passed. Yes, this is ..as ridiculous as it gets.
We wrote in the past to each other about forgiving ourselves and appreciating that time.. but I never once said that I still love him and I always loved him. I never stopped loving him. And I don't want him to get scared that I'm to be an obsessive person now who with no shame comes into someone life again.. But I really wish I could open up and let him know about my feelings.. Hoping, that perhaps he has similar feelings still too..
Perhaps I am writing all this vent here to ask : what would you do, lovely strangers?
Do love can exist after 16 years? Do men actually still care after such a long time? Should I tell him all of this..
I am too old for walking ashamed after my actions in the past.. But I also know I want to be honest with myself and wont accept being with anyone else.. That's something that life brings once we get wiser and mature.

This is a mega-thread for people who want to discuss before, during, and/or after the IDLE presents: LCDJs - LCD Soundsystem Afterparty. Please keep all comments relevant to this specific show. We will update the general info as more info comes through the wire.
Enjoy the show!
VENUE : Monkey Loft
WHERE : Seattle, WA
WEATHER : 53°F and clear
TIME : 10:00 PM - 3:00 AM
VENUE DETAILS : Check out the venue's official Facebook page
TICKETS : Eventbrite: Last batch of tickets $45.33 +$4.89 Fee (Limit 4)
PLEASE keep all conversations related to this particular show.
This thread serves 3 purposes :

1. Invite people to talk about anything related to the show taking place in their city, such as the merch, the venue, the show itself, etc.
2. Allow people to organize a pre/post-show meetup.
3. Share any and all media and footage from the show.

Have fun and dance yrself clean!

COMMENTS ARE SORTED BY NEW
Please be advised that all subsequent posts regarding tonight's show, including buying/selling/trading tickets for tonight's show, will be locked and subsequently deleted.

Wow, where to start! I am the oldest daughter of a family that loves our mother dearly! I planned an amazing surprise 75th Birthday for her and it went off without a hitch and all had an amazing time! Family came from every direction of the US. FF to now , its time for her 80th birthday milestone and Yep... you guessed it, I started planning a surprise party again. We cant have it at my eldest brothers house because he had passed away in 2021 from Covid. It was a huge loss for our family as our other brother was killed back in 98 by our cousin but thats for another story! So, I talked to my remaining brother, we will call him George...... George agreed to host the party and i would help with food, drinks , cake etc and I would invite all I could get in touch with. So I did! Mind you, I have been working on this for several months at this point. Well, as usual, Mom always figures these things out and asked if I invited entitled niece.... lets call her Harriet.... I said Nope... and I am not going to because she hasnt given me the time of day even though I was the ONLY babysitter she ever had. I used to keep her and she tagged along with me literally EVERYWHERE....Harriet was my shadow and I loved her so much. I still do. Well, after she grew up she went off to college and confided in me about some procedure she had and i shoud NEVER bring it up again....No it wasnt an abortion and she just didnt want people to know the truth as she had told some folks a lie that still needed to be covered up.... forever.. WHAT? I dont play them games. When she got home from college of course i had questions and she said she would never talk to me again for even asking her about it. We went t0o a gas station beause she wanted snacks and she brought up the procedure and all I did was ask her if she was ok after it...... WOW...... DRAMA ... Fast forward to the last up to 10 years that everytime I have seen her and her family I have went out of my way to say hello and try to hug them as we are a very huggy family... but she would basicaly ignore me and pull away . I have went out of my way to be nice to her for my Mothers sake as she was the first grandchild and my moms favorite even though i have 8 children. At any rate......... I contacted my little sister who we will call Petty and gets whatever she wants at any time... So Petty said she would contact the local peeps that i dont have contact information for and then I just got a text from a number I dont know... SURPRISE... Its Pettys 14th new phone number in 5 years stating that I need to call her... So, I did. Petty informs me that the party i have been planning for months has now been moved to Harriets place for a pool party when it was already decided to be at our brothers place. WTF????? I said.. Ok..... Please remember to contact EVERYONE to tell them the venue has changed and I know you all will have a great time. I wont be coming! I refuse to go anywhere where I do not feel welcome and I refuse to pretend to be civil when I will just want to basically walk out within the first 5 minutes! I texted my brother George and Petty and Harriet havnt yet let him know about the change of venue. Harriet has lots of money and a huge fancy house and I guess it was said it would go over better if the party was at her place. Well, Ok. I am on disability and have been saving to be able to pay for this. Not any more. She can have the party and I will visit my Mother and do my own party weekend with her. I dont need to be in the presence of fake loving family. Kinda pissed but I will get over it.
Little backstory on Petty and my relationship. We are 5 years apart and really have nothing in common but she is Mamas baby and all that entails! She has stolen literally everything of value from me all my life... My cheerleading coat, my class ring.... even though i bought her ...her class ring , my jordache jeans, my white rabbit coat even though I bought her a black rabbit coat..... she has taken money out of my wallet as i slept after i got paid from my after school j0bs.....years later my son went to live with her for a few months with all his possessions and his dog... SHE KICKED HIM OUT AND SOLD EVERYTHING HE OWNED TO PAWN SHOPS AND GAVE AWAY HIS DOG BECAUSE HER BOYFRIENDS BROTHER WANTED A DOG FOR HIS BIRTHDAY! Needless to say... Not much love lost. I love her but keep my distance.
This is just a shitshow and I am staying as far away as possible. No way we can say dysfunctional any better. No wonder i live 8 hours away and enjoy my peace and quiet on Daytona Beach! No drama zone!

My (25F) girlfriend and I (24NB) were planning on having just one birthday party for the both of us next month, since our birthdays are only days apart and I'm going to be visiting her (we are long distance) for the week. We thought it was a good idea to have it together. The ppl invited are just her group of friends (for obvious reasons) whom I get along pretty well and already knew beforehand. The issue came around later when she asked me if she could invite another friend to the party that's not really in the group chat, and I told her that since this is a celebration for the both of us, I wouldn't be comfortable with that.
Now, the thing is, I don't like this particular friend at all because of some stuff he did and said in the past (about my gf). They fought and fell apart for a couple of months last year and then at the beginning of this one, after blocking her and removing her from his social media and bad-mouthing her, he asked her to reconnect and talk about it. Apparently a mutual friend convinced him. My gf accepted this and went to have dinner with him and they did talk about it, he apologized for being an asshole but told her that he was just waiting for her to reach out (cause she used to do that when they fought before and now she didn’t). At the end, she told him that they couldn't go back to what they were, but they could see how things go. She asked for my opinion on this and I told her that based on the things he said at the meeting and all that, I wouldn't really trust him, but at the end of the day it was her choice and I'd respect whatever she decided on, whether they are friends again or just acquaintances. That doesn't mean I don't have my own thoughts about it though. He was an immature asshole and he hurt her and made her cry. She was dealing with a lot of intrusive thoughts and had depressive episodes after all went down. I understand she wants to forgive him, and I actually like how she can put all behind them and move on, but I'm not really like that.
Anyways, that was it. She told me she wouldn't want to hang out with him like just the two of them like before, but that she wouldn't avoid him if he happen to be in the same place or hanging out with the same friends.
As far as I know, they haven't been talking at all. But now she told me she wants to invite him to the birthday party and wanted to know how I felt about it. And I was honest. I don't like him and I would rather not see him, if it can be avoided. I wouldn't have said anything if it was just her party, of course, because she has the right to invite whoever she wants, but since it was a celebration for the both of us and since she asked, I guess I thought it would've been nice to have a say and all that. This didn't really sit right with her.
We had a huge fight about it and she told me she wanted to invite him anyways, and if I didn't want him there bc it was my birthday as well, we should do two separate parties so she can invite him to hers. Under normal circumstances, that would've been fine by me. But as I established before, we are long distance. None of my friends or family are going to celebrate with me there, so I think the idea is rather dumb; the only person who's not going to be invited to mine is him, the rest of the guests would be the same and really, would they even want to go to two different reunions with a two day difference just because of this one person? At the end, I told her it was fine and I would just bear with it. I'm not an immature person who's going to fill the room with negative energy just because of this, and the things he did are not really unforgivable crimes to the point I wouldn't want to be in the same room as him. He's just an asshole and a bad friend. I didn't really like the fact that she asked me like I had a choice at all, because at the end it was either we invite him or you make your own party outside of mine, but anyways.
So, that's solved. I can compromise on that and I also understand her point, I guess, since at the end of the day he is (was?) one of her closest friends. I don't know.
The thing that has been bothering me now is that after all of this went down, we talked about it more deeply and she told me that it doesn't make sense that I would hold a grudge towards the people that are in her life, cause the problems she has have all to do with her and whoever that person is and not, well, me.
And I don't really know how to feel about that? I had issues with some friends in the past and ex partners that were toxic, and the ppl around me despise them. I have a complicated relationship with my mom as well, and most of them hold resentment towards her for that reason and I'm aware of this. These problems are none of their business, I know, but I thought it was normal to watch them react to it and form their own opinions toward those people because they hurt me. And I'm dear to them. And it's the same the other way around. If you hurt my friends, I don't like you, whether you are a family member or an ex boyfriend or a toxic friend.
I asked her what does she think about the ppl that hurt me, and she told me she doesn't have any kind of resentment towards them because is not her place. She might not like them bc of their actions, but that's about it. If I decide to forgive them, she welcomes them back into her life as well.
So now I'm wondering, is it wrong of me to hold grudges against someone who hurts the people who are dear to me? Am I the asshole? Should I stop?
I have spoken about this to my friends but I think I need a little more perspective, cause they all behave the same way I do when we are talking about this particular topic.

Looking to buy 2 tickets for Haley Heynderickx in Brooklyn at Baby’s All Right 6/16 for a birthday present. Thank you!!

I (F31) and my husband (M37) had a fight over the phone when my husband were back in his hometown for his brother (M32) wedding.We both are transplated (me and hubby met here and got married here). My husband said he wanted a divorce. I understand his anger, and told him we should think about it carefully, and not saying anything to his family until his brother’s wedding is over. Meanwhile, I booked a red eye ticket to fly over to him, with the intention to talk in person and try to resolve things between us. I were also invited to the wedding at the time, just due to work my flight were 2 weeks later than my husband’s.
I repeatedly told him to wait until the wedding is over to share our divorce decision. My husband were going throw a lot of mental health issues at the time, and doing a lot of stimulants with his brothers didn’t help. He decided to tell the family before the wedding. I was heartbroken, but also felt sorry for the brother’s fiancé since she had to deal with this right before her wedding. I texted her my sincere apology. She responded in a diplomatic way, saying she wanted to support me as ‘fellow woman in tech’ which is not related as all and I was confused but whatever. After a week of talking to my husband, we resolved the problem and got back together. But this is when shit went wrong. His entire family (except for his dad) against the idea of us getting back together. They made me sitting in the dinner table with them, when each of them taking turn telling me how I don’t deserve him, how it would be better if he ended up with a local girl, and that I don’t fit well with the family. The fiancé announced that she uninvited me from the wedding, because she doesn’t want any ‘divorcees’ in her wedding photos. I was totally ok with not going to the wedding. However, before the wedding there was a casual banquet dinner with extended family, about 50 people that I really like and would want to see me as well (again, we live far away). The fiancé wanted to block me out of that dinner so insistently. My FIL almost begging her for me to be there( I didn’t want to push but he wants to keep the family together). But she was just cold and cruel, telling us that I’m not family, why should I be there? Turned out she never liked me.
I didn’t attend anything. Me and my husband resolved the problem and he apologized to me countless times, go to therapy, working on his problems and things between us has gotten SO MUCH better. However, I’m still in so much pain anytime I think about that dinner when his family squared me up in a corner and said all the worst things to me. I’m traumatized and never want to visit again. I’m resentful toward the fiancé, since we are both young woman married into the family, but she treated me horribly, almost the type of pick me girl that bullied me in highschool. I still hold so much grudges and can’t let go. I even plan in my head how to fire back at them. These thoughts only hurt me.
AITA? What should I do?

Hello! To celebrate Baxter's birthday, I've created another small in-game scene – as a sort of a gift for the community. You're all invited to Baxter's birthday party – have fun!
SPOILER WARNING: As previously, the scene contains assets and minor spoilers related to Baxter's DLC.
https://reddit.com/link/1cvu8im/video/0t3qgmqd8f1d1/player

Greetings everyone,
I have been having long distance relationship with my girlfriend/fiancee over 3 years and came to a conclusion that we want to marry as it is the only way we can live together. (We both also want to marry, not doing it in sake of to be together only)
This is not my first marriage, I had 8 years relationship with my ex wife before she cheated on me with my colluege, so I was in debt and heavily depressed basically living like trash until I found my current girlfriend in the end.
We met online long ago and been talking to eachother on avarage 3-4 hours everyday. We have a big time difference around 6 hours and I sacrifaced from my sleep since we met and most of the time went to work with no sleep. We met eachother so many times (I visited her a lot and she visited me also and met my parents).
The thing is that she had been hiding that she had a child of 5 year and she only told this to me after 6 months of our relationship started. I was of course in shock and to be honest it was never my plan to be father to someone's child but I accepted the fact and broke my rules telling her im okay with it.
After couple of years we decided (mostly I insist) that we get married and she agreed to it. The problem is the child and just like any mother she cannot leave her child behind. She said she would try to convince her ex and bring her child together with her. I told her in anyway I am willing to do anything for her happiness. So last month I organized everything about wedding and spent good money on it.
Problem is last couple of weeks she has been on a emotional rollercoaster. We almost broke up 4 times and she always change her mind and then said she wants to marry. I asked her real opinion and told her not to give me hopes and I would understand and walk away like an adult but she said she cannot find someone like me and she wish she met me before she had a child.
Today was the last straw I believe, I bought her plane tickets and she got angry at me that it was 3 days more than the time she told me she can stay with me. I accepted it was my fault for not asking but knowing her she does not work and her ex man and mother in law takes care of the child I thought couple of days would not be a problem. She told me it is a long trip and she would get bored. Then out of confusion I told her harshly how can she spend her whole life with me when she gets bored for couple of days only. Then she told me to break up one more time because she doesnt want to lose her child.
Lately I cannot handle the uncertainty anymore. I lost all my joy in life like my previous relationship and became depressed again. It took a while for me to move on from my past and it feels like its repating the same all over again. This time the problem is I invited more than 200 people to my wedding including some of my friends who come from overseas and already paid their tickets and hotels and I have no face to tell them if she changes her mind one more time. To be honest I lost my trust in her and dont know what to do?

So, I met him from an online game back in June 2023. At first, we were just friends, but after 2 months, we decided to date. When I first dated him, I still felt confused because it was my first time dating, I told myself, "Did i really like him or not?" But as time passed I felt like he is the one just from how we act almost the same and have similar humor plus he is a guy with the personalities i was looking for, i felt really connected with him. long story short, it was my birthday on april, and he gave me a ticket to visit him as a present and stay for about 3 months at his place. I was really happy and greatful, it's just the best thing ever!!. I was keeping it a secret from my (asian) family until a week before departure to keep it a surprise, time goes by and the moment happened. I told my dad and sister( I live with them in the same house) that I'm going on a trip to visit a "friend" but my dad knows I don't have the money so i told him my "friend" paid for all the expenses, he became really confused and shocked + suspicious cus why would a friend from the internet would do something that far. I was trying my best not to expose the fact that I'm gay and dating that guy but at the end I gave up and told him everything from how I'm a gay guy and have a boyfriend ( it was kinda my fault not telling him I'm gay at the first place) he was somewhat mad and upset but he "doesn't" judge me and "accept" me, same goes for my sister. But they won't let me go and visit my boyfriend because my dad doesn't want his son to have a romantic relationship with a guy and my sister who's a religious fanatic has a different views bout gays. I feel really hopeless now my plans are ruined because they won't let me go. I even try to talk to my dad again, but he just won't budge, What should I do?? Should I risk it and follow my heart, or should I just listen??
TL;DR; my dad and sister (my sister a religious fanatic) won't let me visit my boyfriend because they don't want me to date a guy (and scared bad things might happen to me), should I listen to them or should I just left my family behind and follow my heart??