Phim online sex

I am really struggling with perimenopause.
For a year I thought I had long covid. The fatigue, memory loss, brain fog, aches and pains. It wasn't until the hot flashes started and my libido tanked that I realized it was perimenopause and not just covid.
I didn't have a primary care provider at the time so I signed up with an online clinic and got HRT.
Physically I felt great but within a month I was suicidal. I had a plan in place and was within 24 hours of ending my life when I had a moment of clarity and told my husband I was in trouble. I had to stop the HRT cold turkey and the rebound pushed me into a 24/7 cycle of crying and vomiting panic attacks. After a week of constant panic attacks only broken up by the times I got so exhausted I fell asleep I was basically sedated for another 2 weeks while my body regulated. So HRT is not for me.
I have found a PCP and my anxiety is well treated now. I'm on Buspar 3 times a day which has been a lifesaver. My insomnia is still pretty bad but I've been prescribed 3 zopiclone a week so I get some decent sleep.
The rest of it is slowly killing me. The hot flashes are making me miserable. The brain fog is making me stupid. I miss my libido so much. And even when we do have sex my orgasms are a shadow of what they once were. I've always been prone to connective tissue injuries but that's been a real problem the last year as my body is making less collagen. My ADD is at an all time high. I'm developing jowls and turkey neck. Even the skin on my body is looking old. I'm eating less than I've ever eaten and I weigh more than I did the day I delivered any of our children.
Thank goodness for my husband. He is incredible. He fans me when I'm hot, listens to me whine, patiently reminds me about all the things I forget and has been the most sympathetic and understanding partner I could ever hope for.
We had a cry this morning as we mourned the loss of our sex life together. We used to go 2-3+ times a day. Every day. Hell, we could both have the flu and we'd still fuck. We had amazing sex probably 15,000 times over the last 26 years. A quickie first thing in the morning, an afternoon delight and a long, leisurely session at night. That was our baseline. (We both work from home).
Now, we have sex ~3 times a week. It's pretty good. But it's like eating McDonalds when we used to eat steak. I miss the excitement, the adventure, the deep connection. I want it back with every fiber of my being. But I suspect it's gone for good and I'm really sad about that. My orgasms are nice. But they shouldn't be nice. They should be earth shattering explosions of pleasure. I wish I had known when my last amazing orgasm was so I could have savoured it.
I'm 47. Average life span for women in my family over the last several generations is late 90s. My Nana lived to 107 and the rest lived well into their 90s. I'm only half way through my life and all of a sudden I'm not looking forward to the rest of it.
I just needed to get that off my chest. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

Obligatory apologies for any weird formatting, I'm on mobile.
TLDR; I'm in a new relationship (27F and 33M) and need help learning how to identify boundaries, my autism is a complicating factor.
So I (27F) have been dating my boyfriend J (33M) for about 3 months. We met online but have been seeing each other in person at minimum once a week, generally more often. Sleepovers, met the family, all of that. He's kind, supportive, funny, smart, and he never asks me to be anyone but myself. We've said "I love you", agreed we're dating, and have plans to move in together at some point in the future (months from now). We've also had a talk previously about what we want our relationship to look like, and agreed to keep it an ongoing conversation which is where my question comes in.
Historically, I haven't been allowed to express boundaries with my exes. He's had the same issues, so we're trying to be very clear with each other. I've been able to communicate well about my sexual boundaries, but here's where the issue comes in: we've both agreed we don't particularly care about sleeping with other people as long as we're practicing safe sex (condoms, etc) and we don't prioritize hookups over our relationship. However, I know that I'd be upset if he got romantically close to someone else and he asked me to think about what that looks like for me - at what point (in my eyes) does something shift from platonic to romantic? Obviously I don't want to stop him from having friends and I don't care what gender they are.
How do I pick that apart and find where my individual boundaries are? Has anyone been in a similar situation? I love him so much and I want this to work, I don't want my inability to figure out my own boundaries to be an issue. We're both autistic so going by if there's a romantic "vibe" or not isn't going to work well long term - we don't pick up on that easily.
Any advice or commiseration at all would be welcome. Thanks in advance!

I think we can all agree that in roughly 20 to 30 years we will be able to see mass produced sex robots. Picture the following: They cost roughly 5.000$ for a new one, or 500 for a used and a reasonable price for maintenance and repair. They have 100% human sounding voice and speech (we are already there right now) and can move roughly like a human and are equally durable. Apart from the sex stuff, they can do basic household works. Cooking simple meals, cleaning, laundry, tidying up. They are self cleaning, self lubricant and can be turned off and stored away at any time. (I guess a closet with cleaning/charging station would be fitting)
The question is, how will humanity change this? Most hollywood movies picture a scenario, where they try to take over humanity, but I don't see this happening for two reasons. First of all, from my current understanding of AI, this is not how it works, as it's not actually smart, but just copying human behaviour. Secondly, whoever will mass produce cyborgs will make sure, there is a backdoor to turn them all off, just because Hollywood warned us more than once.
Futurama had a small skit, where Humanity would die out, because everybody is just busy making love to their robots and stop human to human interaction and not even going to work anymore.
I personally think, males will be more affected by this than females, as they, on average, have a much higher sex drive. I think there will be a huge shift of power in the dating game. Where currently women in online dating can basically chose whoever they want, and feel like they can act like princesses that want to entertained. In this future scenario, a lot of men will just not start dating anytime soon, because as a young man, you think all you need is sex and a companion. Only when you grow older, (30+) you maybe realize you need a real soulmate and want to start a family. So I guess the few men who are actually going through the effort of meeting a real woman and trying to get to know her, will have a lot of women to choose from in the dating sites. But I'm not really convinced about my own scenario and hoping to get other views on this topic as I think it's very interesting to philosophize about this.

Hello, thanks for taking the time to read. I'm in a bit of an uncomfortable situation, not in danger or anything, but it feels complicated to me.
I (27M) have kind of been talking with a woman (31F) on and off over the course of a few years at this point it has been exclusively online so far. It's been a bit of an odd situation, because for the longest time there has been a relationship-like pull between she and I. The short of that dynamic is that for the longest time, I knew that I had feelings for her, and she was kind of hot and cold about her feelings for me, feeling things for me but fighting those emotions, being avoidant, "running" from them, essentially rejecting love. Throughout those years of on and off communication, she and I would drift apart and back into one another's lives. My stance was that she shouldn't be afraid of her emotions, and I tried to remain supportive of her while being transparent with her that I was interested in a relationship with her. For the longest time, she only wanted to be friends. I know this part is not related to poly, but it does add background context. She and I would argue a lot about what we were, because our dynamic always felt like more than friendship, but she would always push back more and more the closer it got to feeling more and more like a relationship, so she would often push me away and run away, and communication would stop. I wanted to be with her in a romantic relationship, and for the longest time she only wanted to be friends. As one could imagine, this was a disconnect between her and I.
Last night she reached out to me after some time apart and without communication. Our previous situation was another argument about where things were going, basically a clash of what we wanted. I was surprised when she came back around, and even more surprised when she said the reason she came back is because she spent time reflecting on things, and that she is ready to give love a try, and that she wants to stop running from her feelings for me and be together. This caught me off guard, and we talked a little bit. Through our past, we've exchanged more intimate and risqué messages. Despite this, I've known that it isn't my physical appearance that she's interested in. Because of this, it prompted me to ask if she was sure about actually wanting to be with me, since there's been so much pushback for the majority of our time around one another.
Her answer was that she isn't interested in actually having sex. This confused me slightly, given many of our previous interactions being sexual. This more or less is where my conflicted feelings come in. Basically, she has told me she is asexual, and hasn't enjoyed sex in years, and feels that she does not enjoy the act, but loves masturbation. I have a high sex drive, and part of my attraction to her is sexual. I have an appreciation and attraction to her for who she is, not just for her looks, and that's what makes me feel kind of stuck in choice paralysis. I care about her a lot. I expressed that I do value sex in my relationships, and she asked if we could be poly, where I could fulfill my sexual desires with someone else while she still gets to have me.
I have never conceptualized myself having a poly relationship. I've only ever been monogamous before. I brought up to her that I wouldn't be comfortable with her being with others if she were with me, and she said she's fine not being with someone else. Now technically, her suggestion would be a solution that would mean I have sex and she still gets to be in a romantic relationship with me, with a larger emphasis on quality time and intimacy in other ways, the only physical ones being things like hand holding, cuddling, some kissing.
However, the issue I'm having despite those solutions is that she is the one that I want and am attracted to, it isn't a matter of wanting just anyone, I value sex with the person that I love and am with. I am not sure if I am demisexual, but I hate hookups and don't feel like I would want to seek out another person for sex, since this woman is the one I care for romantically. As I mentioned above, I've only ever been monogamous. I do not believe sex is the most important thing in relationships, other forms of intimacy and quality time are more important to me, but I also feel like sex is not something I could give up. The conflicting part for me is that I care deeply about her, but feel like I will be feeling rejected by her, knowing that she doesn't want to have sex but still engages in self-pleasure frequently. This is a hang up I have as a result of being sexually attracted to her along with romantically.
TL;DR: A woman in my life that I've had a somewhat romantic/intimate connection with but has avoided getting into a relationship has come back to me, now wanting that romantic relationship. She's asexual and I have a high sex drive. She suggested poly as a compromise so I can still have sex, but she is the only person I want, I don't want to seek out some other person to just fill a void.
I know in my heart of hearts that things between her and I would likely not work, she and I want different things. I don't know if polyamory is for me. She suggested it because she wants to be with me, but doesn't have interest in sex. I am currently at a crossroads of my own feelings for her, and knowing that she does not want all the things that I want in a relationship(sex, more physical intimacy than just hand holding, cuddling, and a kiss now and again, potentially kids in the future).
Thank you again for taking the time to read. This is very out of my element and comfort zone, and I am struggling with it.

Hiya there friends! I’m your friendly neighborhood divorced 30 year something or some other, trudging through life and trying to find someone I can actually enjoy spending time with. That’s surprisingly harder than I thought it’d be lol. In a world where dating has come down to endlessly swiping through apps, actually finding someone then immediately getting ghosted after either talking for a week or meeting up for a few dates and then getting ghosted, or being friends who diddle each other because everyone has been in bad relationships and want to be free to do who they feel like and not be held down (I personally understand this one being a divorcee myself lol) its kind of hard to get anything going or meet anyone worthwhile. Well I’m gonna try again cause I’m stupid and optimistic that this will work out at some point, either way I’m enjoying the ride for the most part.
Some things about me that might make me a somewhat interesting member of the opposite sex!

• If you couldn’t tell from my title I love listening to music! It’s pretty much my core reason for existing lol. I love to sing and listen to it pretty much whenever I can! I am polyjamorous and listen frickin everything and that’s legitimately not a joke! I can go from Cab Calloway, to Dying Fetus, to Linkin Park, to Elton John in no time flat! Be prepared for a man that thrives on a random set of music from all the different time periods lol. The only thing I don’t listen to is country as that’s an abomination. Yall are free to listen that, and it’s okay to be wrong honestly. I can accept that about most of the world.
  
• I’m an avid gamer! My main genres are horror, rpgs, and online shooters! The games I am currently playing are Destiny 2 and Dead by Daylight with a bit of Fallout mixed when I need a break from those two games! Ask me for my username on steam and discord if you’d like to play with me!
  
• I enjoy cooking! Oh that’s right ladies, if you want a man that can cook you up a tasty meal upon request I can most certainly do it. Just have to kiss the cook first (Just kidding lol). Seriously though I actually do enjoy cooking so if you ever wanted to come spend some time with me food will always be available so come get you some grub!
  
• I’m very much a metal head and am avidly going to concerts now! Just recently went to go see Dying Fetus, Fester Decay, Rivers of Nihil, and Cattle Decapitation live so if you’re also a metal head and looking for someone to go see some metal with live I’m definitely your guy!
  
• I’m a very kind and caring individual! I love to talk and enjoy spending time with the people I care about so if you like that kind of energy then look no further for I shall provide it! Come get you some cuddles and attention!
  

Now, some other things you should know about me and things I’ll require from you!

• While I am a divorcee, I have a child in California. If you ain’t cool with the fact that I have a kid then that’s hella tough! He comes first and is the most important thing in my world forever and always. No ifs, ands, or buts. If you can’t deal I’m cool with that. He’s cuter than you anyhow lol.
  
• Look I know everyone’s looking for their forever person, I am also, but don’t come to me looking for something with a ring attached to it. I’ve been there done that and it’d take a lot to make me consider doing it again. That’s not to say I don’t want a long lasting relationship and won’t treat said relationship as an important thing, but I now believe there doesn’t have to be an iron clad document officiating it. If you ain’t cool with that then there’s the door.
  
• I am a highly jokey, sassy, and sarcastic person and that’s never gonna change. I like having fun and poking fun at people in a jokey and friendly way so please don’t be sensitive. I don’t like walking on egg shells.
  
• I’m terms of getting my groove on, I ain’t vanilla. If you know you know so I hope you aren’t either!
  
• Age isn’t majorly a factor just please don’t be younger than 23 or older than 40. Just a personal preference as I’d like to be able to connect to someone without being too generationally far from each other! I will also want to exchange pictures off the rip as attraction is important.
  
• Please be in within an hour of Lancaster PA! I’m not one for long distance relationships so I do require you to be within range of me in order for any talks to begin! Sorry to those that are long distance!
  

Well then that was one of the longer posts I’ve ever made! If you stuck around this long you must find me really interesting! If you do message me with one of your favorite songs! Bonus points if you know the song from my title and its album! I hope to hear from you, and thusly I bid you adieu.

Hiya there friends! I’m your friendly neighborhood divorced 30 year something or some other, trudging through life and trying to find someone I can actually enjoy spending time with. That’s surprisingly harder than I thought it’d be lol. In a world where dating has come down to endlessly swiping through apps, actually finding someone then immediately getting ghosted after either talking for a week or meeting up for a few dates and then getting ghosted, or being friends who diddle each other because everyone has been in bad relationships and want to be free to do who they feel like and not be held down (I personally understand this one being a divorcee myself lol) its kind of hard to get anything going or meet anyone worthwhile. Well I’m gonna try again cause I’m stupid and optimistic that this will work out at some point, either way I’m enjoying the ride for the most part.
Some things about me that might make me a somewhat interesting member of the opposite sex!

• If you couldn’t tell from my title I love listening to music! It’s pretty much my core reason for existing lol. I love to sing and listen to it pretty much whenever I can! I am polyjamorous and listen frickin everything and that’s legitimately not a joke! I can go from Cab Calloway, to Dying Fetus, to Linkin Park, to Elton John in no time flat! Be prepared for a man that thrives on a random set of music from all the different time periods lol. The only thing I don’t listen to is country as that’s an abomination. Yall are free to listen that, and it’s okay to be wrong honestly. I can accept that about most of the world.
  
• I’m an avid gamer! My main genres are horror, rpgs, and online shooters! The games I am currently playing are Destiny 2 and Dead by Daylight with a bit of Fallout mixed when I need a break from those two games! Ask me for my username on steam and discord if you’d like to play with me!
  
• I enjoy cooking! Oh that’s right ladies, if you want a man that can cook you up a tasty meal upon request I can most certainly do it. Just have to kiss the cook first (Just kidding lol). Seriously though I actually do enjoy cooking so if you ever wanted to come spend some time with me food will always be available so come get you some grub!
  
• I’m very much a metal head and am avidly going to concerts now! Just recently went to go see Dying Fetus, Fester Decay, Rivers of Nihil, and Cattle Decapitation live so if you’re also a metal head and looking for someone to go see some metal with live I’m definitely your guy!
  
• I’m a very kind and caring individual! I love to talk and enjoy spending time with the people I care about so if you like that kind of energy then look no further for I shall provide it! Come get you some cuddles and attention!
  

Now, some other things you should know about me and things I’ll require from you!

• While I am a divorcee, I have a child in California. If you ain’t cool with the fact that I have a kid then that’s hella tough! He comes first and is the most important thing in my world forever and always. No ifs, ands, or buts. If you can’t deal I’m cool with that. He’s cuter than you anyhow lol.
  
• Look I know everyone’s looking for their forever person, I am also, but don’t come to me looking for something with a ring attached to it. I’ve been there done that and it’d take a lot to make me consider doing it again. That’s not to say I don’t want a long lasting relationship and won’t treat said relationship as an important thing, but I now believe there doesn’t have to be an iron clad document officiating it. If you ain’t cool with that then there’s the door.
  
• I am a highly jokey, sassy, and sarcastic person and that’s never gonna change. I like having fun and poking fun at people in a jokey and friendly way so please don’t be sensitive. I don’t like walking on egg shells.
  
• I’m terms of getting my groove on, I ain’t vanilla. If you know you know so I hope you aren’t either!
  
• Age isn’t majorly a factor just please don’t be younger than 23 or older than 40. Just a personal preference as I’d like to be able to connect to someone without being too generationally far from each other! I will also want to exchange pictures off the rip as attraction is important.
  
• Please be in within an hour of Lancaster PA! I’m not one for long distance relationships so I do require you to be within range of me in order for any talks to begin! Sorry to those that are long distance!
  

Well then that was one of the longer posts I’ve ever made! If you stuck around this long you must find me really interesting! If you do message me with one of your favorite songs! Bonus points if you know the song from my title and its album! I hope to hear from you, and thusly I bid you adieu.

(F21, M21, together for 2 years, found out 6 months ago)
TL;DR: relationship is healing after his porn addiction and micro-cheating. We have had many conversations, he makes a solid effort and seems to be a changed man. The problem now is the constant flashback reminders. How do you trust again, seeing daily triggers, when the relationship is seriously improving? How to reprogram the mind into renewing trust once more, so I’m not stuck in the past?
**I know people don’t read long posts but if even one person has advice I will seriously appreciate it! PSA: our first relationship. **
Been with my boyfriend for 2 years. He was my best friend before that for 3. I get it, we’re young and it’s normal for guys to watch porn blah blah blah. But this was cheating.
The week we were official, we discussed porn. I asked him how he would feel if I watched porn and vice versa. He expressed strong discomfort. I asked if it would be beneficial to us, he agreed it wasn’t. Since neither of us thought to gain sexual gratification through anybody else, and wouldn’t walk into a strip club or brothel, we decided not to do it online either. We agreed in the conversation that porn is now considered cheating, and off-limits boundary. He admitted to having a porn addiction before, since he was 12.
Fast forward to 6 months into the relationship. I noticed he became far more degrading in sex and also far less interested in me. He would make up excuses for being busy (despite living with me, I know it was quick but this wasn’t official living, he was with me 6 nights a week in a flat on my parents property. We basically lived together as I moved into the flat instead of the main house). After sex, I would explain that I don’t like being degraded THAT much (I normally don’t mind a bit but this was a noticeable difference). He apologised. I asked him if he was watching porn on countless occasions after that, feeling as though the sex was scripted or weirdly unnatural. I told him it was okay if he was watching, I would just prefer to know. He said “of course not” every. Single. Time.
Fast forward to 10 months in. At this point we had been official for that long, but “seeing” each other for roughly a year. I had consistent dreams about him cheating on me with the girl he slept with (my toxic ex-best friend, before we were together in school). She used to judge me for being close friends with him then one day said “I had sex with him last night” as if it was a power move that she got the guy who was flirting with me.
I had insecurities because she is tiny and petite, would talk shit about me to him and brag about having sex with him when he first showed signs of interest in me back at school). Before the porn I struggled with this history and used to cry mid-sex over it because I felt annoyed I wasn’t as sexually experienced or petite as she was. I hardly thought about her after overcoming this so it was weird I saw her fucking him in my dreams after 3 years no contact. My gut was screaming something is wrong.
He left his laptop at mine, (this never happens so I took the opportunity) he had openly told me the password to it before so I knew. Anyway, only come to find that in his search history he has Grace Charis, Kim Kardashian’s tits (he typed a typo so he searched 9 times to find the images) and other girls scattered through his timeline since the last time he cleared his search history. This was without incognito, I could only imagine what else was hidden. It killed me because he told me one of his friends’ girlfriends looked like Kim Kardashian once, I instantly remembered. Yuck.
What hurt most was his instagram. He “never” uses it, and often takes days to respond to cute stuff I send him on there. Turns out he was searching Asian AI pornstar models on instagram (hana_bunny bunny or something), 2 DAYS after my birthday! (Which he put barely any effort into. My 21st he bought me a bucket of cheese and flowers. Thanks I guess?? I spent hundreds for his 21st and made him a book of personalised memories and drawings).
Fast forward. I felt sick to my stomach like never before. Left work early and he knew I went home because he noticed my car wasn’t at work, so he came over. I confronted him. Asked him if he remembered how we talked about porn being cheating? He said yes. I asked him why he thought I deserved to be cheated on then, to which he was silent. I explained how I felt and cried to him saying I would never look like them, and we agreed not to do it.
He confessed straight away. I asked him what genres he normally went for, of course he said “college girls fucking”. Also said he mostly used the top pornhub results that week and did it roughly twice a week for the past 8 months despite the conversation. I believe it was more times than this. At least he was admitting to some of it.
Lots of discussing followed and has ever since. Lots of empty-handed apologies when it was brought up. He purchased porn blockers that I could easily outwit within half a second of testing. But at least he was spending money to fix the problem and it was his idea.
He offered couples counselling but it’s so expensive, I can barely afford rent. He’s offered to pay but I think I need private sessions first, I’m exhausted even explaining this in writing let alone talking to a stranger. I think it’s just a me problem now.
He then decided living with his mates would be better than living with me, despite us going to the same city and same university for the next year ahead. I had turned down moving to another state because he said he would never move there. He told me I had “no chance” of ever living with him and his friends in a heated argument. He said he didn’t want me to “become an accessory to his life”, words he has apologised for but I never forgot.
He moved in with them… but here’s the thing. One of (our mutual) roommate friends has a girlfriend (different girl⁾ whom he has admitted he used to be really attracted to. I told him I would feel gutted that he couldn’t just choose to live with strangers instead so I don’t have to deal with the discomfort of him seeing her potentially more than me, and also that way we would both be in the same position, starting fresh (not choosing his friends over living with me). He then tells the boyfriend I’m upset because he used to like his girlfriend and sugarcoated it, which obviously isn’t the whole story. He told me his friends say I’m crazy for being upset over that, lessening the chance of me ever mingling with them again. Mind you, these guys have all cheated on their partners before and discouraged him from living with me.
Fast forward again. I’m struggling to find a job. I have to pay triple rent because he doesn’t want to live with me at this new place. He has job offers left right and centre, one of them being at a hostel, which is also a club. I told him any of the other 8 jobs sound really good, that’s the only one I’m uncomfortable with due to his porn addiction. I’m worried he will just be flirting the whole time. I was right. He chose that job despite the sadness and anxiety he knew it would bring me.
One day, he BUTT DIALLED me at work (lmaooo). I could hear him flirting with girls in another language (I didn’t know he was learning another language!) and laughing with them like I’ve never heard before. Then he bragged about it to his coworkers and said “she’s so nice, such a great girl”. They cheered him on for speaking the language.
I was fuming. I nearly called it quits that night but since, he has been making an effort. He has drastically improved his behaviour and genuinely makes an effort. He said he has changed his ways, he has apologised many times and though I don’t think he’s necessarily watched porn since I found out, it has been 6 months since, and I’m devastated like it’s the day it happened. The flirting. The way he behaves when I’m not around. I will never know when he’s being disloyal, which sucks. But it’s not like he’s actively messaging or sleeping or hooking up with anyone, it’s only small stuff.
He has done little things here and there to try and reignite the passion: flowers, cards, chocolates and dates etc. which I really appreciate. He doesn’t leave his laptop at mine, even if he knows he is coming back over the same day with it, which was a red flag to me. But so far, I don’t think he’s watching porn. And I have seen a huge improvement in the relationship overall.
My problem now is the reminder. I can’t trust him the way I used to. Every time I see a model I want to crumble. Every time I see Kim Kardashian or Kanye or golfers (Grace) or ads or beautiful women from different countries, it kills a part of me. I have no idea how to move on from this. I get flashbacks all the time. Our intimacy is pretty good still. But every time he calls me beautiful I don’t buy it. There’s always someone better, I feel worthless and I can’t control it anymore. I feel terrible because whilst he’s making great efforts, I still don’t trust him and feel insanely insecure at the thought of him getting to live a double-life. He is a beautiful soul who really does bring out the child in me and I don’t want to lose that. I feel so bad that my brain has changed its thought process. We are now in a much better place together.
He has been proving himself but it still makes me feel like shit knowing I was never good enough for him in the first place. I was his 7th, he was my 1st, not that I care but it explains my devastation. Hence why it’s so heavy for me. I gave him everything and it still wasn’t enough. He was happy to keep secrets and risk the relationship on multiple occasions, but now that things are fine I’m starting to process more. I need a quick fix to changing my mindset and believing him again to save our relationship. Because things are different now and I have hope for us in the future.
—————————- I would LOVE advice on ways to reverse negative thinking. Ways to forgive, truly, and to learn how to believe partners again. I need new tools to be more resilient and confident again, otherwise this won’t survive. I wouldn’t have stayed with him if I didn’t think it was worthwhile, I don’t want to put 5 years down the drain and would like advice other than merely breaking up. I’ve seen a difference, I am the problem now.
Does anyone have any healthy mind habits they can share, or positive ways to overcome this situation? How do you trust again and stop comparing when triggers arise?

Me(male 43) was dating this woman (female 48) for 3 weeks. Everything was amazing. The sex, the conversations and the exchanges of things like, I can't get you out of my head. We have had sex at this point. I've been told time and time again I'm a solid 8.5. Well 4 or 5 days before this weekend, mid May, I tried to make plans on a Friday night with her. She said, I'm heading to California that weekend and didn't elaborate. So I left it alone. I had suspicions at that point and fel some trepidation, but tried to ignore it. I got bed on a work night around 530pm west coast time. I made plans to go and play some disc golf with her the Thursday before she leaves for California. She's into CrossFit and teaches morning classes online. While she's on the plane she tells me playfully she can't me out of her head and can't wait until she gets back so she can see me and all that blah blah. While texting she says,
"I want to be transparent. Not sure how much info you want. I’m an all out person"
She's been divorced a year now after a life long relationship/marriage. I then say, well you've ommitted knowledge up to this point and I can infer why your going down there and if your involved with another man, it kinda hurts.
She says, it's not my intentions to hurt anyone and I'm new to this.
Should I feel betrayed and like I've been lied to?
No she doesn't owe me anything, but I would think it's common courtesy to let someone know your having sex with other people not just YOU. There were alot of other details that she would ommit and become sterile with her speech when talking about other events.
I dumped her, she then said:
"It’s been three weeks. 6 times meeting in person. I don’t know you as a person yet. I’ve never seen your living quarters even. I made these plans before I met you. I didn’t promise you anything. We are just getting to know each other. I’m sorry you are so upset."
I think she's just making up for lost time. She was in a sexless marriage and this woman has a libido like I've never seen, boardering on unhealthy almost.

Hi! Help yo girl out. Lapit na birthday ko, hahaha. Your responses would be like gifts 🤣 Please educate me and share your experiences. Thank you.
I’m going back to PH, and it’s been months since I had sex with my bf. I want to do it safely and makapagperform ng maayos before doing it again. Girl, ayoko majuntis!!! I want to enjoy my solitude!
My questions are: • Is there a BCP that would do me good for a month and wouldn’t cause weight gain besides condoms? Because I’ll have to return lang din naman again sa isang country. • What are the side effects after if I only use it for this duration? • What if di ako makapunta sa OBGYN doctor physically? Are there free consultations online that you girlies can suggest?

Sorry if some of the stuff sounds stupid or AI-like I am not of the native tounge of English and I used one of the Google chat bots to fix up the story all the information is correct and is probably a better read anyway, just need some advice on how I should go about this weekend, I planned on staying but maybe I should leave with the kids, well act like I'm leaving and set up cameras? Ee had cameras but I took them all out after rearranging the garage years ago.
I remember it like it was yesterday, the first time I met Sarah. It was late in my freshman year of high school, and I had just made the varsity baseball team. That was a big deal for me, being the starting second baseman as a freshman. The attention and popularity came with it, but I was laser-focused on the game. Then came the charity game, where our baseball team played against the softball team to raise money for the children’s hospital. That’s where I first saw Sarah. She was the first baseman for her team, and I couldn’t deny she was beautiful. A lot of the guys on my team were talking about her, trying to get her number. But I wasn’t interested in that; I was focused on winning the game.
During the game, after I hit a single, I ended up on first base where Sarah was playing. I didn’t think much of it at the time. I didn’t acknowledge her at all, not even after the game or during the pre-game meeting to discuss the rules. Apparently, that caught her attention. She told me later that out of all the guys who tried to talk to her, I was the only one who didn’t, and that intrigued her.
A few weeks after the game, Sarah asked me to prom. She had gotten tickets from her best friend, who was a junior and didn’t want to go. I wasn’t the type to turn down a dance, so I said yes. Little did I know, that night would change everything. That night, we lost our virginity to each other, and for the rest of our freshman year and the summer, we were inseparable. We found every possible place to sneak off and be together – closets in school, secluded spots on campus, anywhere we could be alone. Sarah had a high sex drive, and I was more than happy to keep up with her.
Looking back, it was our intense physical connection and the fact that I didn’t chase her like the other guys that brought us together. Our relationship was solidified with moments like our first prom, skipping school to be together, eating at different restaurants, and getting each other promise rings that summer. And, of course, the charity game where we first met.
But it wasn’t always smooth sailing. Sarah was very popular, and a lot of guys would text her. She handled it well, always blocking numbers and reassuring me that she only wanted me. She was open and honest, even giving me her phone’s pin. She hated the idea of cheating, and she made it clear that she was committed to me. This reassurance wasn’t really needed, but it was nice to know she felt that way.
Throughout high school, we were in many of the same classes, and we excelled academically. We were partners in group projects and participated in activities together. We were inseparable, and everyone saw us as a perfect couple. Sarah came to as many of my baseball games as she could, and I attended a few of her softball games when I could. My dedication to baseball was intense, and she understood that.
Our school had a partnership with a local college, offering free tuition to students with a GPA of 3.5 or higher. I had a 4.0 GPA, which meant I had plenty of scholarship opportunities. By the time I entered college, I was making about $1,800 per semester from scholarships. Sarah and I decided to attend the same college, not wanting to be burdened with student loans. We lived comfortably during college, and I proposed to her at our graduation ceremony. It was a big deal, and our friends and family were thrilled.
After graduation, I made sure Sarah had the wedding of her dreams. I was already doing well financially, working as a lawyer specializing in insurance cases. I was the sole breadwinner for the first three years of our marriage while Sarah focused on selling items online through her flower store and completing her studies in cosmetics. She enjoyed staying at home and was very appreciative when I renovated our garage into a salon area for her business.
Around our sixth year of marriage, we decided to start a family. Our son, Isaiah, was born first, and he changed my world. Just 18 months later, our daughter, Abigail, came along. Life was good. We had financial stability, and Sarah decided she only wanted two kids after the exhausting experience of Isaiah’s birth. She had her tubes tied, and we settled into our new routine as a family of four.
Fast forward to now, Sarah and I are 35 years old, and our kids are 7 and 5. Recently, I’ve noticed some changes in Sarah’s behavior. She started leaving the kids with friends more often and coming home late. Initially, I assumed she was busy with salon appointments. But there was more to it. Our sex life, which had already slowed down, became almost non-existent. Sarah seemed upset about it, but I planned to make it up to her by spending a weekend together, just the two of us.
Then things got worse. Sarah started coming home very late, sometimes with hickeys on her neck. When I asked about them, she said they were from bee stings. I believed her at first; I’m not well-versed in gardening or bee behavior. But deep down, I knew something wasn’t right. She had always been loyal, and the thought of her cheating never crossed my mind until now.
As I pieced together these changes – the late nights, the unexplained hickeys, and her distant behavior – a feeling of unease settled in. I wanted to believe her, but the inconsistencies were becoming too hard to ignore. It was time to take a closer look at what was really happening.

Waking up in the middle of the night I find myself restless
So much has come into focus in the last few days. The station, my first steps on another world. It is all a bit overwhelming. Relaxing my thoughts drift off thinking about how I got here. A young girl on Europa, being selected for training after my aptitude tests, the Academy on Ganymede. Then as always my thoughts drift back to… her…
Lucy…
We started at rivals at the academy, we were from different worlds. Literally, me from Europa a wet ocean world remote and isolated, her an inner worlder from the hot dusty plains of Venus. We were water and fire.
The professors pitted us against each other from day one, based on our aptitude tests we were the top of the class. They split the class into teams and gave us challenges. I like to say I got the better of her, I was fast out the gate winning a few challenges. But Lucy turned back on me in a vengeance, she had a magnetism to her that caused our classmates to almost be addicted to her. People from my team would defect over to Lucy. Soon I found myself vastly outnumbered.
One day after Lucy and her team thrashed me again in a simulated strategy challenge. I left and I needed to be alone. I showered, went into the sauna. Replaying the moves again and again. How was I going to get the upper hand. She outnumbered me so much.
Everyone knew to leave me alone in the sauna. It was where I thought, relaxed, my place of peace. I was frustrated, I lean back against the wall and let me hands wander. Gently down my body, letting my stress evaporate as I tease myself…Then the door opened…. And it was Lucy. A cocky grin in her face.
We had been thinking about nothing but each other and we had both become obsessed. When that tension broke. Let me just say in a sauna fire and water combine to make something beautiful. Lucy and I did as well.
She moved towards me quickly, letting her towel drop, she was direct with a purpose. Grabbing the back of my head and kissing me deeply. I was shocked.. surprised... Excited..
I grabbed the back of her head and kissed her back. A deep need inside of me welling up, our lips slid across each other's as our tongue intertwined. I poured my life water of passion into her. She flared up and accepted my passion. Her hands exploring my body as I moved my knees between her legs.
Fuuuccckkk…. When she arched her back… so beautiful… MMM nnngghhhh an orgasm washed over me in my bed while I thought of Lucy.
Panting… even after all this time, separated by a waygate and unfathomable distance my body still yearned for her, I still yearned for her. Rolling onto my side I stare out my window into the vastness of space and the void. My fingers still ryhmically dancing on my pussy. Fingers sliding in and out
Your taught at the academy not to develop attachments, especially since the top prize, the highest honor of our training, to one day fly a deep space exploration through a waygate. Which would put us alone, in a different system. Like I am now.
Even if I power up my waygate in record time and rush home. Lucy is most likely gone. She was my alternate, meaning had I been unable to go this time she would have. It also means she most likely the deployed to her own system and would be gone before I returned. Likely I would never see her again.
Biting my lips and pressing a hand out onto the glass…yes…yes.. there
Fuck again….Fuucckkkkk LLLLuuucccCC
EeeeeeeeeerrrrrreeeemmmmmAAAAAA, a beautiful black haired woman orgasms in a bed identical to Emeras save the ambient lighting is blue inside of pink.
Fuck…. That was good. I find myself panting as I step out into the hallway of my ship. 2 days since the waygate, 6 months since I last saw Emera. Since she departed through her gate. Stars know if she still lives.
It was a rare happening, another gate coming online shortly after Emera’s departure. I thought I would be flying routine patrols around the system. Now I'm alone. Alone with my thoughts of her, and my AI Julia. Fuck. Why couldn't we have gone together. Why only one pilot to a ship. Who knows maybe she's thinking of me. Technically the systems we are in are closer together than home. That's something…
You're probably wondering if I was outnumbered and Lucy normally had my number in competition then how did I get to leave first. Yes, I did sleep with high command. That was only my closing argument though. You see Lucy had her magnetism that caused people to be addicted to her, she drew people in. But I was better at strategy and nuanced maneuvers.
The rules weren't strict on the teams, people defected all the time. Keeping your people together was part of the challenge. I decided to break that challenge.
No Battleplan survives first contact with the enemy afterall. Why not break the competition itself
My enemy wasn't Lucy, trust me we had been together enough at this point my heart swelled when I saw her. My enemy was the rules, and proctors.
There had to be two team in the academy for the lessons to work. But the rules only set a minimum not a maximum.
Lucy and her best 4 left her team, and me and my best 4 left my team. We formed a new team with Lucy and I at the head. The proctors were fuming. I was called into their offices again and again. Which is what led to me sleeping with a few of them to get ahead. It is always good to solicit a meeting with superiors, you can always be turned to your advantage.
In the Academy, there were 50 of us girls. The proctors let us keep our 3rd team, but declared no one else could join us. It was the ten of us vs double our number on both the other teams. Not ideal… but we had Lucy and I together. My how we shined
We out maneuvered, out paced, and out thought the other teams again and again and again..
Entering into the final the proctors split everyone up, eliminating the team. Just to try and stop us from sweeping the competition. Instead there would be 25 teams of 2 members each of our own selection. Lucy and I naturally selected each other.
We set down on a terraformed valley on Mars, all the other duos were around. The mission was complex. Gather knowledge, survive in the wilderness, there were simulator villages where we had to set up relations, and if possible eliminate other teams.
The gravity is different from what I'm used to, my body feels heavy. Sluggish, they train us on this and soon I'll adapt. But first landing it hits me like a weight. Ffuuuccckkk I murmur as I land my account ship on the surface.
Lucy always compares a new celestial body to a lover. Well for me Mars just grabbed my hair, slapped my ass and pushed in
Fuck I can't imagine landing on Earth. Triple this, fuck that give me my moon mother's oceans anyday.
I suck deep and hard on the control in my mouth and all three extract from me. I am about to get up from the control seat when I feel a palm in the small of my back
“Lucy not funny, let me up” I say
She giggles, and rubs my ass cheeks before her fingers rub against my lips
I moan biting my lip as I push myself against her hand
“I knew the gravity here would give a Moonie like you a good fucking, you're so wet my love”
Rolling my head back and forth..”quickly we have to debrief and set up camp” I moan
She smacks my ass again and her fingers deftly slide to work, one hand pinning me to the chair while she teases my sex, her thumb rubbing in perfect circles on my clit and her fingers pulling on my g-spot
“Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes uuuhhhhh my love it feel so good” shaking my hips back and forth I feel it building as I rock my hips on her hand
Squeezing….my leg….quivering… my voice squeaking… “uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh ffuuuccckkk” I moan as I feel the orgasm wash over me…
Lucy slaps my ass playfully and licks her fingers… “let's go my love, stop playing around we have to set up camp” she giggles
“Oh!! You!!” I get up and rush after her slapping her ass when I catch up
Carryalls follow us out of the ship.. I immediately sent out the scout drones and assessed our landing spot. Allocating tasks and running diagnostics.
Lucy set about converting the ship to a shelter and arranging power arrays, and deciding on perimeter defenses
We were a perfect power duo. Our carryalls and scouts were soon all at work, and Lucy was finishing up the shelter
I needed to repay her, so I slowly walked up behind her. She heard my heavy steps in the gravity. Turning to look at me she beamed at me. My heart melted and grabbing both sides of her face I pinned her to the side of the ship. Our bodies intertwined and our lips locked.
She moaned at me giggling, pushing my knee between her legs, and we quickly undressed each other. Her mouth on my breast, as my hand glided down to her slick vagina.
Grabbing her chin roughly and up turning her head exposing her neck I sink my teeth into it as I push forward with my knee back and forth pressing my fingers in and out of her.
A deep moan emanates from her, licking my bite mark I kiss up her neck until my forehead is resting hers. Eye to eye, I watch the pleasure build in her. Thrust after thrust of my knee. My fingers pressing into her g-spot every time, my palms pressing and grinding onto her clit
“Cum for me my love, give me your sweetness, I want your water to be the first I drink on this planet” I breath
I feel her pussy tighten and grip my fingers. Her legs twisting around me… she goes silent… a flush rises in her flesh… we kiss deep, and long, and passionately as I feel her gush onto my hand as orgasm rapts her body..
I watch her eyes dilate and relax I kiss her gently again before kissing down, my lips brushing through her pubic hair tickling my lips. Opening my mouth and pressing my tongue in I drink of her orgasm
My fingers inside pressing to work again, she cries out as she rocks her hips grinding her lips to mine. As she gushes another orgasm into my mouth..
I can even taste and feel it now on my tongue…
Releasing her, and helping her up I grin
Walking awayz the top of my leotard open my tits out in the sun
“I'm up by one my love, and you taste so GGGGOOOOoooOOooddddDD” I giggle setting back to work.
Days and weeks pass Lucy and I set up our camp. Wefind nearby teams before they find us. We quickly fall on them in the night, clearing our immediate area, eliminating them from the contest. We bathe in a nearby stream, sun ourselves on the rocks, make love on the soft moss of the forest.
I don't know if I've ever been happier, ever been more at peace l than I was then with Lucy. Her and I… her and I against the world.
We make good progress setting up relations with 12 of the 15 villages. Our camp is well stocked. We receive updates from the proctors from dead drops. Seems out of the 25 teams only 8 remain. Lucy and I have eliminated 7 ourselves.
We need to be the last standing, triumphant together.. so that maybe.. maybe we can convince them to send two of us on a ship. Imagine the wonders, this wouldn't be temporary, but would become our life.
Lucy and I talk about it often. We can convince them. We'll defeat the others then refuse to turn on each other.
Our dream died that night…
We were naked, curled up in each others arms when the alarm sounded..all the alarms
Proximity alert for 14 signals… they had teamed up on us. 14 on 2 they were going to eliminate the front runners while they still could.
Fuck.
Lucy and I turned and quickly downed our emergency biotic vials just as a concussive blast hit our ship shelter.
“Fuck! They aren't supposed to attack equipment!” I yell
“The proctors must have sent them, they should be intervening with that!” Lucy says
“You're better in a fight, charge them and I'll flank” I yell
We nod at each other and we are off naked as the day we were born
Lucy bursts from our ship her shield bursting out in front of her
I dart out the side and task our scouts and drones to make dive bomb attacks on the intruders
I leap over a blast, grab a tree branch and swing. I land my legs on either side of the head. Of one the attackers, twisting my flip her over and knock her out. Back on the run, I see Lucy take out another one as drones dive in and out of the chaos.
Lucy blocks to her right and charges blasting herself high into the air, twirling before blasting herself downward tackling her target to the ground and eliminating her.
She's about to get blasted from behind when I take the attackers in the flank, knee to the solarplex. My hand on the side of her neck I thrust up hard with my knee. In the low gravity she turns and flies off into the trees as I raise my hands and blast another in the side.
She turns just in time to block my attack, when Lucy rockets into her side with her elbow

Hey guys this is my first time sharing something online i am a very private person and never open up but i want to try to be better for my gf so i decided to write about it here to have some advice from you guys.
My gf and I been together for almost a year. For context we are both egyptians and i live abroad in the US for my studies in engineering. I was finishing up my bachelor and we started talking again and then when i was done i went to egypt for the summer 2.5 months and we were a couple, at first the relationship was very flirty and sexually intense but in an amazing way we couldnt keep our hands off each other. We both had high sex drives and we had an amazing relationship she used to do everything id ask in every aspect of the relationship and id do the same. She used to compliment me a lot and same here. It was so difficult for us to go a day without intimacy and physical contact. However then i had to travel again for educational reasons for 3 months and i noticed that her sex drive disappeared she stopped sending pics and just overall became so complacent in the relationship and i know that men shouldnt speak this way but i craved sm her compliments however i told myself it will all be good when i am back in egypt. Once i was back for my break it was amazing as usual and she explained how sex was so important to her. Now before anyone says it the chances she is cheating are 0% i am super certain. She has a lot of issues on the mental health side and she deals with depression. When i went back abroad for continuing the studies it was the same as before 0 sex drive and lacking care felt as if the relationship is a chore to her. Now im back for the summer and she decided she doesnt want to have intimacy for religious reasons which i understood and i was ok with only physical contact. But now even that is impossible she doesnt initiate anything and i even feel like she is repulsed by me. To me this girl was so attracted to me and couldnt keep her hands off me and now we go 3-4 weeks where we dont have a single second alone where i could just get physical affection (idc about the sex). She even stopped saying cute love stuff and i just feel like i lost the girl i met a year back and i told her sm that my fear was being in a relationship with someone who over time becomes complacent. I do everything she wants cause i want her to feel good and to be happy like i worked on being more social cause she likes double dates i worked on spending more time with her friends and her but i always tried to explain i need our private time not for sex but just for a hug.
I am trying my best but i feel like it is a lost battle as i am the only party bothered bt this. I am trying to tell myself that i shouldnt put my needs first and that i should understand but i feel very distant from her what should i do? How can i convince myself to desexualize the relationship and to stop craving physical contact like hugging etc?
I do not want to breakup i want to see if there is other solutions or if someone went through this?

I had read this way before, in some believe it or not article, about men who were professional Casanovas, so to speak. They wandered the countryside, and were paid by women (or their fathers, particularly) to have sex with them, specifically to take their virginities.
The idea seems preposterous, of course. Especially because a woman's virginity was considered precious enough to offer them to gods as 'Virgin Sacrifices'. But I do not know enough about the Medieval times to distinguish between eras or times where Virginity was valued, or even if it was considered a deficiency on any level.
I tries searching online, but all I find are references to 'Primae Noctis' or 'Droit du seigneur', which is not what I'm looking for.
It would be great if someone could let me know if this was indeed true, and if so, what it was called. Appreciate any help you can give me.

My gyno explained this to me like it would be NO BIG DEAL. Fine. I get there, didn't realize it's a whole "procedure" that I needed to sign for. Wasn't told I would be getting biopsies until I was there. She told me she was "stopping the bleeding" but never said how or with what. Later find out its monsels solution and found it out the hard way.
When I left she said expect the coffee ground discharge. And it started like that... but then that fucking solution has come out of me TWICE now. And it is horrific. Absolutely horrific. I am not someone who gets queasy with that stuff but I truly thought it was my uterine lining, a blood clot, or something worse. The smell is fucking disgusting. Comes to find out most women go through that... but how come the gyno is so hush hush regular day??
She didn't inform me of after care at all and just said "nothing goes in there until you stop bleeding" but others say no bath, swimming, sex, etc.. which I guess falls under what she said but honestly I wouldn't know myself right away unless I googled it?
I am horrified and can't believe she did this all so non chalant. If there wasn't info on this online I would've gone to urgent care because of how horrific it was.

Why do doctors downplay a colposcopy?
My gyno explained this to me like it would be NO BIG DEAL. Fine. I get there, didn't realize it's a whole "procedure" that I needed to sign for. Wasn't told I would be getting biopsies until I was there. She told me she was "stopping the bleeding" but never said how or with what. Later find out its monsels solution and found it out the hard way.
When I left she said expect the coffee ground discharge. And it started like that... but then that fucking solution has come out of me TWICE now. And it is horrific. Absolutely horrific. I am not someone who gets queasy with that stuff but I truly thought it was my uterine lining, a blood clot, or something worse. The smell is fucking disgusting. Comes to find out most women go through that... but how come the gyno is so hush hush regular day??
She didn't inform me of after care at all and just said "nothing goes in there until you stop bleeding" but others say no bath, swimming, sex, etc.. which I guess falls under what she said but honestly I wouldn't know myself right away unless I googled it?
I am horrified and can't believe she did this all so non chalant. If there wasn't info on this online I would've gone to urgent care because of how horrific it was.

Hi everyone, this may turn into a long post as I write this out and (admittedly) vent some frustrations I currently have (sorry in advance if that's not allowed).
To start off, between my SO and I we have 2 dogs, 3 cats, and a bunny. Someone at work stated a family member of theirs couldn't hold on to their two cats, so they were looking to re-home them, or they be sent off to the shelter by the end of last week. I felt bad, as I wouldn't want to give up my animals if I was put in the position that this person is in (basically they moved, but due to certain life events they had to move in with their parents who said no to the cats). So I offered to hold on to them so they wouldn't end up in the shelter, and they would be returned to their owner once they find a place they can stay at that will allow them to have cats.
The issue at hand is that my GF really doesn't want them here, claiming they could have some issue like a disease or something, which to q degree is understandable, but I'm keeping them separated from our other animals for the time being (even though the owner has stated they are healthy and is trying to send paperwork). She stated she also feels disrespected (more on this further down) that I would go forward with this without her approval (I did mention a few times about the cats, so it wasn't completely out of the blue). As such, she is threatening to break up with me over this if they are not removed from the home (she's also threatened throwing them outside and making them street cats, which obviously isn't good).
I'm upset that I'm trying to be a good person but am being forced to not be allowed to do so (I figured since we already have 3 cats, what's 2 more for some time, considering cats are low effort in my opinion).
Now for some juicy details that you redditors may enjoy reading. As I've stated earlier, she feels disrespected that I would move forward with this decision, without talking to her more about it. I honestly didn't think it would be a big issue since we both love animals. Growing up, whenever I visit my home country, if there was an animal that needed to take care of, I'd end up giving away a good portion of my vacation looking after said animal. And if I couldn't look after it for some time for whatever reason, a portion of my mind was constantly preoccupied wondering if they were ok. For my gf, as an example, she guilt trip me into taking in a pet rat that we we unprepared to take in (this was the only reason why I was against it, as neither of us had the money to buy a proper enclosure), as she was concerned that someone would end up buying it as snake food. This obviously made me feel bad, and we ended up getting the rat (ended up passing away, so it's currently not in the picture). She's has also stated that she wanted chickens, which I also don't mind, as roosters crowing and hens clucking remind me of my grandparents' farm. I'm hesitant on that only because I'd need to put in the time, energy, and money into making an enclosure for them (can't just have them running around in the backyard). So you can see why I thought she wouldn't mind looking after 2 cats who we are indirectly ready to take in due to having our cats. I have my suspicions thay she's jealous/insecure about it being another female's cats, as she asked a question or two about the scenario that in my opinion didn't pertain to the cats directly (more on this layer)
The issue I have with her claiming she feels disrespected is I feel like I bend over backwards for her, while also letting her walk all over me, to the point where she claimed I have/had sex with my mom (she did not say this directly to me, she stated it to certain family members who have relayed it back to me) which such a thing has never occurred. She also believes I have done something to the our animals. The first time she stated that if she found out I ever did something to the animals, she'd find someplace to go and take all the animals and I'd never find her. Another time my dog was pooping, and she asked why his rectum looked like that (again, pretty much claiming I did something to my dog). The most recent claim she's made is I went out to walk my dog, and ended up talking to one of our "neighbors" (they live behind the house that's directly across the street from us) and I admittedly stayed for a very long time. She tried calling me, but my phone was on silent for some reason, and I ended up missing her call. She sent me a few messages, the first 2 claiming she was going to call the police and file a missing person report (understandable considering how long I've been gone, and the fact it was around 11 at night), but then the following messages claimed she hopes my dog doesn't come back raped, and the message after that asked if I was "getting fucked by Dan" (I don't even a Dan where we live). She's also claimed I did something to her dog, as she thought her puppy looked prolapsed during her period. So as you can see, there's been a lot of claims by her of me supposedly sodomizing the animals which I want to make clear has not happened.
To make matters worse, and possibly the cherry on top, she claims to have taken some photos that pertain to me that she claims she will post online if we ever break up so people know the real me (I won't get into too much detail, but it is of a sexual nature that luckily doesn't have me directly in it, but nonetheless wouldn't be a good thing to be put online if she goes through with it). I haven't seen these photos directly, but I'm going to assume the worse and believe they exist. I believe this falls under the category of blackmail, bit I'm not sure, as she hasn't used it as leverage to get me to buy her things or do things for her, etc.
I'll admit that I maybe haven't been her perfect boyfriend. I did try however I could, even going above my means to try to please her, which I am am now literally paying for (something I'm currently working on). I also will admit that I have spoken about her to my family members behind her back, although they claim that I'm not speaking ill of her if what she does/says is true (they have witnessed how she is first hand, so they know I'm not talking out my ass about certain things). Am I crazy/in the wrong to think "the audacity of the bitch" when she says she feels disrespected, when she has claimed all the things above?
For some chocolate drizzle: I had a surgery a few months back that I was healing from, and I was laying in the bath tub letting the shower head hit me, just trying to relax a bit, when she comes into the bath to rinse off her dirty feet almost right above my incision (it was basically an open wound with some glue over it).
This is all excluding the constant accusations I get from her about cheating on her. She wants access to my phone (I have somehow managed to stick to my giluns and not give it to her) and I have shown her my text messages a handful of times, and she never finds anything because, well, I'm not cheating on her. I'll admit that I have some sensitive information on my phone that I don't want her to have access to the primary one being bank accounts, and I don't want her seeing my degeneracy on reddit (thank you anonymous browsing lol)
That's it for now. Again, sorry for the long post that turned into a venting/advice session. I have the right of mind to either move into an apartment by myself for some time and letting her figure out what to with her animals and try to get away from this mess. Or better yet, let her be mad over the cats, and break up with me for wanting to help someone out, and potentially take her to the cleaners legally if she goes through with posting the photos about me. I don't want to take legal action against her and potentially ruin her future, as I understand she hasn't had the best life growing up, but I'm also tired of letting her get away with whatever she wants.

My boyfriend is autistic. We have a wonderful physical connection. We have intimate sex, snuggles and I we often hold hands, hold each other. I feel very deeply connected to him in this way. But that’s the only way I feel connected to him My partner otherwise does not talk or listen or have any interest in me. When I talk about my day he stops listening or just doesn’t respond. I initiate every conversation and he only responds to questions regarding his day or his special interests. Most of our dates he comes over, we have sex, watch a tv show in silence while eating dinner he brings over and then I help him with his favorite thing which is building his anime toys. I always engage with his interests bc I want to show him he is important to me. But he never engages in mine. I am an outgoing person who loves seeing friends, going out, traveling, new experiences, deep conversation. The best he has tried is taking me out to dinner once. I understand he hates going out, loud noises, crowds, going against routine and trying something new. I don’t want to push him, but he doesn’t even want to engage in watching or discussing my favorite shows or hobbies. I feel stuck. He gets home from work each day and goes to his room and builds his toys and plays video games with his friends on discord. He doesn’t have a non online friend. He never asks me anything about me - just responds he is bad at conversation. I love him, and I know he loves me, but I am so fed up putting all my energy into catering to him. I want him to meet me half way but starting to realize he may not be able to. Am I being too harsh or should I end the relationship?

stealing u/epiccabbage123 idea, feel free to ask any questions!!
FALL 2020
Adam Kane- WR120, first year writing, nonsense fiction. very fun class honestly with a lot of interesting discussions, and super interesting and thought provoking material with very interesting perspectives. recommend
Laura Brusetti- LI111, first sem italian, fun professor but tbh i was just in the class for lang requirement, but made learning the language easy and didn’t put a ton of pressure. recommend
Dan Dill- CH101, gen chem 1, i mean everyone knows dill what do i say, took it online which made it a lil easier tbh but i guess that may depend who you talk to. talks really slow and i felt like the book explained concepts better than he did
Mark Howe- NE101, intro to neuroscience, this class moves pretty fast and is very content packed, also took it online. i really enjoyed this class since i was super interested, but could be tough if you’re not. don’t think he teaches this class anymore tho (take it with gobrogge in the summer if he still does that!)
SPRING 2021
Walter Hopp- PH248, existentialism, idk this is where i found out academic philosophy wasnt for me, but jf you’re interested in the subject you’d probably like it, remember doing some kant and nietzche but i stopped reading the material halfway through the class tbh
Rita Cote- LI112 (2nd sem italian), LI211 (3rd sem), more difficult professor people say but tbh if you pay attention to the questions she asks they are the same she puts on oral exams and paper tests so just write them down in class and prepare an answer (if she hasn’t changed how she teaches)
Lucia Pastorino- NE102, Intro to cell and molecular bio, really great professor but i didn’t get to take her courses outside of this one and it was online, so i didn’t get to know her that well. class was great tho and she is a great lecturer, neuro department is great here. recommend
Binyomin Abrams- CH102, gen chem 2, explained things better than dill but still found the best help was reading the textbook, honestly just taught myself that one
Kyle Gobrogge- NE102 Lab, NE203 Lab (Principles of Neuro), NE456, the absolute goat, i love him to death. probably my favorite professor i’ve had and a huge part of what makes the neuro department great. truly cares about all his students and is willing to talk about anything and everything. will push you to reach your potential and it feels like he truly believes in you. he will open doors for you if you really want, and you can get anywhere you want if you want to work for it, he will offer paths to publish papers, undertake whatever experiment you can come up with that he has the facilities to support. they run a lab as well called the gobrogge teaching lab where he gave me access to whatever resources he could to come up with experiments and do whatever i wanted with them. very low pressure on the research as well, it truly felt like a perfect learning experience and through him i was able to start learning how to actually undertake research. take their sex and aggression class, it’s something everyone should be exposed to at some level and gives you an opportunity to talk about topics on human sexuality, neuroscience, philosophy, psychology, sociology, anything and everything freely and openly. i could go on for a while about them. highly highly recommend take any classes they’re teaching
FALL 2021
Cote, 3rd sem Italian, above
Rebecca Kinraide- WR152, Medical debates, seemed like a class but i wasn’t super engaged tbh. she was super nice though from what i remember and i don’t have any bad things to say about her
Jeff Gavornik- NE203, principles of neuro lecture, moves quick but i found it interesting, explains basic functions of the brain and builds a good foundation for future classes, he specialized in the electrical side of things so the class was slightly heavier in that aspect. felt like he explained things well though, didn’t go to office hours much so i don’t know him very well
huge shoutout to Caroline Dugan, think she is currently teaching NE203 lab which was easily my favorite lab class at BU. got to design our own experiment on fruit flies and this class has only improved since. you get access to some really powerful tools that you can do some really interesting things with. caroline was a LA when i took the class and she was always a great help, great at explaining concepts from lecture or lab and i highly recommend.
also huge shoutout to John Tullai, i didn’t have the pleasure of taking one of his classes directly since i did 203 lab under gobrogge, but every interaction I’ve had with tullai all the way through graduation has been great. another huge part of what makes the neuro department great, great person and great teacher. highly recommend.
Tracy Dunne- PS101, intro to psych, she was good but i wasn’t always super engaged and honestly wish i did a different minor. great professor though with interesting lectures and funny stories, i’d recommend if you are looking at this class
SPRING 2022
Zeynep Demiragli- PY105, physics 1, honestly felt like she went over some concepts a little too quick and found reading textbook to be really helpful to supplement, but was super nice and seemed to care about her students a lot.
David Somers- NE202, Intro to Cognitive neuro, this class was also interesting and he brought up a lot of interesting experiments, definitely have to study for this one. his lectures were engaging enough imo but not standout. recommend
Arash Yazdanbakhsh- NE212 (Intro to Matlab), NE204 (Intro to Computational Neuroscience), both classes are matlab, expects his students to do well and put in effort but is also more than willing to explain things to the most minute detail and repeat whenever you’re confused. go to office hours and ask questions, exams are open note and open internet as well so take notes and use them. his lecturing style is a bit different than most, instead of directly telling you information he tries to lead you there with questions and student input. he wants you to try to make the steps that people discovering these things did and think about everything is presented, he will give you all the information you need. recommend
FALL 2022
Paul Trunfio- PY106, physics 2, loved this man honestly, he wants his students to do well and will explain and answer any questions you have. gave great lectures and very accessible but also felt textbook material/assigned work pretty helpful. recommend
Brett DiBenedictis- NE333, drugs and behavior, really interesting class and he is a great lecturer, but the professors for this class change all the time. he gives a lot of detail and a very wide perspective outside of just how drugs work, but also touches on how they’ve impacted society. recommend if you get the chance
Steve Ramirez- NE337, Memory Systems, this man is incredible and i wish i got to interact with him more. leads a really interesting lab as well doing sick memory research. learned a ton in this class about how human memory works, things that can apply outside of just neuro knowledge but you can apply to your life. engaging lectures, funny professor with great stories and is great at explaining concepts. highly recommend.
Alice Cronin-Golomb- NE338, neuropsychology, learned some really interesting information in this class and she brought in some interesting guest lecturers. great lecturer herself, can expect a lot but is very informative. recommend.
SPRING 2023
Andrey Vyshedskiy, MET BI366, Neurobiology of Consciousness and Imagination, this guy is a genius, like seriously. go read his book, titled on the origin of the human mind, especially if you are interested in neuro and human evolution. he proposes a super interesting theory on what makes humans unique and is doing some really interesting research trying to examine his theory. unfortunately idk if you can get into this class anhmore unless you are in MET, and i took this class with 4 other people. super super interesting though and really pushed my understanding of the brain but also began to build a much more holistic overview of how the cortex works and how humans can do what we do. highly highly recommend and seriously read his book if you’re interested in this kind of thing.
Rachel Denison- PS222, perception, she seemed like a super sweet woman but i didn’t enjoy the class much, felt very surface level and memorization based honestly and i wasn’t engaged. also didn’t let students leave the classroom after finishing midterm/final until the whole allotted time was up even if you finished early so idk what that was about?
Michael Lyons- PS371, psychopathology, again i wish i did a different minor but old psych white guy vibes, seemed fine enough but lectures weren’t very engaging and felt like they consisted of either some random story that was only slightly related or reading off entries in the DSM
Stephen Prothero- RN106, Death and Immortality, this was the last class that he taught but i would recommend if i could. didn’t read much of the material but lectures were interesting and discussion based, even with a large class. impressed how they managed that tbh. recommend this class for more than just hub recs even tho we all know that’s what you’re taking it for
FALL 2023
Kyle Gobrogge, NE456, above
Kevin Barents/Jeremy Yudkin MH408/AM336, bob dylan: music and words, love these guys, lowkey penn and teller vibes but very interesting professors. class is super fun, listen to bob dylan and discuss his music, influence, life, ideas, whatever. recommend
Meg Younger- NE520, Sensory Neurobiology, great class and great professor. not only do you get to look at the groundbreaking discoveries in sensory neurobio, she teaches you how to read and digest scientific articles and prepares you to move into a lab. runs her discussion sections like a lab would run a journal club which i found super helpful. also will always engage with student feedback and is willing to challenge students if she doesn’t feel like we are putting in enough effort. really enjoyed her class and teaching style, this was a smaller class that allowed for open discussion and lots of perspectives. she also runs a really interesting mosquito lab investigating olfaction, so she has some really interesting insights there. highly highly recommend.
Kevin Gold, DS110, intro to Data Science with Python, good professor and chill dude, didn’t go to office hours so i didn’t know him much. cool class tho, helpful information to know and a good beginyning exposition to python and data science. recommend.
SPRING 2024
Arash Yazdanbakhsh, NE204, above
Leonidas Kontothanasis, DS210, Programming for Data Science, difficult and demanding class but good professor, gives some interesting stories in office hours and fun to talk to. good lectures but definitely need to do some reading outside of lecture as well. his class began to spark my interest in programming. recommend.
Tanima Chatterjee- DS120, Foundations of Data Science, seemed like a great professor but honestly i didn’t attend lecture much, seemed super nice from her recordings and didn’t actually require lecture attendance, gave really detailed lecture notes that were super easy to teach myself from. class itself was just basic topics in probability, proofs and logic, calculus, and linear algebra, i didn’t find it too difficult. she’s good at explaining concepts and if i didn’t take this class as a second semester senior i probably would have been more engaged. recommend.

I had read this way before, in some believe it or not article, about men who were professional Casanovas, so to speak. They wandered the countryside, and were paid by women (or their fathers, particularly) to have sex with them, specifically to take their virginities.
The idea seems preposterous, of course. Especially because a woman's virginity was considered precious enough to offer them to gods as 'Virgin Sacrifices'. But I do not know enough about the Medieval times to distinguish between eras or times where Virginity was valued, or even if it was considered a deficiency on any level.
I tries searching online, but all I find are references to 'Primae Noctis' or 'Droit du seigneur', which is not what I'm looking for.
It would be great if someone could let me know if this was indeed true, and if so, what it was called. Appreciate any help you can give me.

If you're feeling offended already from this post, I highly suggest you click off and make yourself some tea. Please do yourself that favor
[Scroll to the bottom for TDLR]
So there’s this online trend going on right now (it's sort of dying off I think, I could be wrong) where people are asking women if they’d rather be stuck alone in the forest with either a random man or a random bear.
I’ll say it again. Would these women rather be stuck ALONE in the forest with a random man or a bear? Lots of the women are picking a bear. And I also picked the bear. I asked my mom, my aunt, and my dad this question. They all said bear. And here’s why *I* personally chose to pick the bear.
First of all, it’s because God gave me permission. I’m a Christian. Literally, in the Bible, in Proverbs 17:2, it says, “It is safer to meet a bear robbed of her cubs than to confront a fool caught in foolishness” (NLT version). Even God is saying I should pick the bear. If God tells me I’m allowed to do or pick something, trust and believe I’m gonna take it.
Secondly, let’s say that Bibilicality or Christianity had nothing to do with this conversation. I’d still pick the bear and here’s why. Humans in general are completely unpredictable. Yes, a human is smart. Yes, a human could help you survive. But that’s the scary thing. Humans are incredibly freaking smart. So if that person–not just a man—wishes to kill me, abuse me, or whatever—they’re gonna find the best way to do it.
Even then, I’d rather be stuck in the woods with another woman because statistically, women commit violent crimes significantly less than men do. I’m sorry, that’s just the truth. That’s not to say that women aren’t capable of committing crimes either and there’s a chance that the rate women commit crimes is higher than we know—there’s still a consistent pattern in who predominantly commits the overwhelming majority of the crime—men.
Literally, according to the United States Sentencing Commission, women accounted for only 13.5% of crime in the U.S. during 2022 and even then, the majority of the time, those women were being arrested for drug related offenses. Not rape, not kidnapping, not sex trafficking, not murder—DRUGS. And the craziest part is that the number of women committing those crimes had not changed much at ALL during the years between 2013-2022.
If that’s still not enough for you, according to the Bureau of Prisons (BOP – an official site from the U.S. government), women only make up 6.8% of inmates in prisons, whereas men make up 93.2%. Try to discredit this all you want but at the end of the day, men are MUCH more likely to commit crimes than women. Which, by association, would also mean that women are less likely to commit VIOLENT crimes than men are.
So yeah, pardon me if I’m gonna be scared crapless to be completely alone in the woods by myself with a man I do not KNOW. If that’s the situation I’m in—where I’m completely vulnerable, by MYSELF, and civilization isn’t around because I’m STUCK in the forest—what incentive does that man have to be a good person to me (especially considering that no other witnesses are around)? HE HAS NONE.
Note that us women picking the bear is not a man-hater thing. I do not hate men as a whole. But I am cautious of men. I have men in my life that I love and admire like my father, my brothers, and my cousins. If I was plopped in the woods with any of them, I would be 100% fine with it. But if you’re seriously asking me to be stuck ALONE by myself with a random guy, I may as well be playing Russian roulette with my life. A bear is predictable. Humans are not. I am built like a string bean, I cannot fight. So if a man chooses to cripple me for whatever reason, I’m done for.
When it comes to women picking the bear, it’s not necessarily us thinking that the bear is inherently ‘safer.’ We know the bear could eat us. All we’re doing is choosing which worst-possible outcome we’d rather deal with should that worst-possible situation show up. The worst thing a bear can do is kill you. You wanna see the worst a man can do? Search up the Junko Furuta case and then get back to me. Even then, there's probably some sicko who managed to rival THAT.
Don’t even try to act obtuse on the subject, boys. Because I know for a fact that when y’all have daughters, wives, girlfriends, cousins, sisters, etc—and they’re out somewhere late at night, you tell them, “Get home safe.” Safe from what? A bear? (LOL)
You guys know full well how dangerous other men are. That’s why you tell the women in your life not to wear certain stuff. Not to go out late at night. Not to go anywhere alone. Because you know full and dang well that other men are flipping crazy and I’m tired of being gaslit from you guys wanting to play dumb to suit your narrative.
The fact you guys are THIS pressed about a HYPOTHETICAL situation, insulting us and whatnot, is only proving our point. You are the exact type of man we wouldn’t wanna be in the woods with.
If a bear attacks us, it’s not doing it out of malice. It’s doing it because it sees the woman as a threat. If it’s a female bear attacking you, it’s because you were too close to her babies. If it’s a male bear attacking you, he’s most likely hungry. With men (or humans in general), you cannot predict them. There’s actually MORE protocols and steps you can take to avoid or prevent a bear attack. But there is absolutely NOTHING you can do in this situation to prevent the other human from wanting to harm you—especially if they’ve already chosen to do so.
If you’re a dude and still pissed off that we chose the bear, I hope God gives you more empathy when it comes to women and their struggles. Maybe then you’ll understand the reason why God ALSO says we should pick the bear.
Peace.
TLDR: I'd pick the bear because a bear is more predictable than a man, and even then, worst-case scenario---I'd rather be killed by a bear than be subjected to whatever sick intentions a RANDOM man could potentially have. Because humans are unfortunately very creative when it comes hurting each other. Bears are not.

I'm writing a recap of the beef in my own eyes, based on what has been shown out there.
If anyone sticks around to the end to read all this shit, if you have any comments on what I missed or should be edited, lmk. Also go touch grass.
* October 2023: Cole/Drake dropped First Person Shooter, which sees Drake take shots at Kenny and while he gives props to the Big 3, Cole also claims he’s the best rapper alive. The verse from Cole is a bit disingenuous, calling themselves the Big 3, but referring to himself as Ali and saying "me and Drizzy shits like the Super Bowl," which in turn refers to KDot as the third best in the group. Also calls himself "Muhammed Ali," who is considered the greatest to ever do it. In Jermaine's eyes, its Cole Drake Kenny.
* March 2024: Metro Boomin (rap producer) and Future drop “We Don’t Trust You,” an album which sees them take multiple shots at Drake. One song (Like that) features Kendrick, who is practically inviting him to throw gloves with Drake (and Cole). Responds to the Big 3 claims with "Fuck the Big 3, it's just Big Me." A lot of his verse is going at Drake directly, calling his best work a "Lyt pack," and playing up the MJ Prince comps with the "Prince outlived Mike Jack" bar.
(The Drake Metro beef goes back a bit. Drake wanted to be on Metro's album on the song 'Trance,' but Metro didn't like what Drake had submitted. Drake also submitted his verse late, which pissed off Metro, who ended up removing Drake's verse and keeping him off the album entirely. Drake does not take this news kindly, and ends up leaking his verse, which pisses Metro off further. He goes on a twitter rant, stating why Drake doesn't deserve a Grammy. When 21 Savage dropped his album "American Dream", Drake congratulated him on Insta, with a Screenshot that omitted Metro's name out of the credits. Which leads to Metro dropping "We Don't Trust You" and "Like That" as a result.)
Thank you u/CROW_is_best
* Two weeks later: Cole drops Might Delete Later, a 12 song EP. The last song (7 minute drill) is his response to Kendrick. However fans were pretty critical of his reply, with some claiming that as a diss it was pretty tame at best. Other fans claimed it was just a warning shot, and that it wasn't meant to be a diss back. A few days later, Cole apologized to Kendrick at Dreamville fest, and backed out of the battle. It is rumored that TDE member Schoolboy Q advised Cole to drop out of the beef, as it was between Kendrick/Drake, and it would get more personal.
* April 2024: 3 weeks after “Like That”, Metro and Future drop another album, “We STILL Don’t Trust You." This album features multiple artists who also throw disses at Drake. ASAP Rocky for dissing his BM, Weeknd calling out "leaks in the operation."
* A day after Metro/Future drop their 2nd album, Drake's “Push Ups” leaks online. This song clapped back at everyone that took shots at him on We don’t trust you, from Kendrick to Rick Ross to ASAP to Metro to Weeknd. In the song, Drake makes fun of Kendrick’s height, shoe size, his label split (supposedly he had to give TDE 50 of his publishing), and had a subtle jab at Kendrick’s wife Whitney.
* Drake also dropped a song that featured an AI voice of Tupac (Kendrick’s idol) and Snoop Dogg. Both west coast legends, but encouraging Kendrick to drop and stop being scared. A controversial track that was polarizing to say the least. Some fans praising its creativity in the rap beef, along with great verses from Drake. Others calling it disrespectful to a rap legend, and a bad precedent to allow AI in music. The Tupac estate ended up sending a C&D to Drake, who later removed the song from all socials.
(Note that here the public perception was for Kendrick to drop a reply, that Drake had come back correct with Push Ups and that if Kendrick was going to start a battle, he shouldn't duck when met with a reply)
* Two weeks after “Push Ups:" Kendrick drops “Euphoria,” which goes in on Drakes parenting ability, legitimacy in the rap game, and so on. A very solid dissection into the man we know as Drake, its a very good diss track that shows Kendrick's lyricism in full display. Also acknowledged that the industry is out to get Drake "wtf is this a 20v1," and told Metro to "shut yo hoe ass up and make some drums."
(He replied to this with an IG story of a merengue remix of that Metro bar, which was hilarious lmao. That and the band peforming outside Magic City in ATL were the funniest parts of the beef)
* A few days after, he followed up with “6:16 in LA" on Instagram. Not really a diss track in my opinion, it felt more like a track that had some warnings to Drake. Dot questions the loyalty of OVO and their legitimacy in the group, planting seeds of doubt in the mind of Drake. The cover this song is a black Maybach glove.
* Drake replied with “Family Matters” later that night, claiming Kendrick as a phony, attention whore, and worst of all a wife beater. Also claims that Dave Free (Kendrick’s manager), is the father of one of his kids. He drops this song with a full on music video, crushing the GKMC van, showing off the jewelry of rap legends like Pharrell and Pac, and so on.
(Honestly some of Drake's best work, and fans see it as such. Honestly some of his best writing since at least IYRTITL. That along with the beats make it a top 10 Drake song in my opinion. Some claim it's the best song in the diss. However, I just don't see it, for the reason I'm mentioning below:)
* Not even half an hour later: Kendrick drops “meet the grahams” which has heavy accusations. The cover of this song contains some of Drake's items. It includes: Ozempic/Adderrall/Zolpidem prescriptions, a receipt for the chains that Drake bought, presumably the ones in the FM video, and a visit card. Song claims Drake is a terrible person, has pedophilic thoughts/tendencies, runs a underground sex ring, and has a daughter that he’s hiding who’s at least 11 yrs old. It is a haunting track that sees Alchemist produce the beat.
(In my opinion, the clear turning point of this battle. For Kendrick to drop the time that it did, took the wind out of the sails that was Family Matters. And did it at a time where EVERYONE was reacting to it in real time. If the track didn't hit as hard as it did, it probably does not have an impact and Drake would have been the winner. Which is why IMO it's the best diss song in the battle. Despite the fact that daughter claims are mere allegations, he hit home on every other point that was made, with the cover art being proof of his verses holding truth. Which can't be said about any other diss in this battle, bar Euphoria.)
* He then dropped “Not Like Us” a day after FM/Meet the Grahams, which doubles down on the pedo claims, and also calls him a colonizer. This song is an instant hit and a West Coast banger, as it is currently the top song on the Billboard 200 as of the time writing this post.
(This song shifted the tide to "Drake is cooked" status. Prior to this song, people were still reeling from the back to back disses and asking that both sides bring receipts to the table. But with Not Like Us being a colossal hit, fans flocked to Kendrick's side. This track felt like the equivalent to a 3rd quarter run from the 2017 Warriors. Once it happens, you're done.)
To make matters worse, Metro also dropped a disstrumental called "BBL Drizzy," encouraging fans to drop a verse on the song, giving the winner 10k and a free Metro beat.
(Also a pivotal moment. If Drake wasn't losing the battle before, he lost the internet game with this combo. Now social media was clowning on him)
* A day later, Drake replied with "The Heart Part 6," a play on the The Heart series that Kendrick Lamar has. This song sees Drake claim that he set Kendrick up with fake information, and planted all this from the start. He also continues to apply pressure on the DV claims, and dispells the accusations made against him about him being a pedo. Also claims that he understands why Kendrick is so pent up, as Drake believes that Kendrick got molested as a child, referencing "Mother I Sober." Fans believe this track was a white flag of sorts, with the bars saying "You could drop a hundred more records, I'll see you later," and:
"That's why these pedophile raps and shit you so obsessed with, it's so excessive They actin' like it's so aggressive, but you just never known affection I don't wanna diss you anymore, this really got me second-guessin."
The last bar seems to question Kendrick's motives in the beef, and that Drake wants no parts in a battle that is really just projecting trauma. Regardless, the song was met with criticism for questionable lyrics and disses in the song. Shortly after, both sides alluded to move on, with Punch/Top of TDE declaring Kendrick the winner, and Drake saying "Good Battle, summer vibes up next," with the beef ending there.

These past 2 years have been brutal, it's been L after L with no break.
I feel like a mouse in a maze that every time it approaches the exit is dragged back to the start by a hand from the sky.
It doesn't matter how much I try, the outcome is always the worst possible one.
I've gone from agnostic to full on believer because I don't think someone can be this unlucky without some almighty being involved in it.
I now fully believe God exists and either:

1. He is actively punishing me
2. He has left me stranded

   
Will keep it short since I know you hoes like reading this kind of shit:
 
Around 2 years ago I was leasing a horse, and giving it my all, I was earning an entry-level salary in a comfy remote work living with my parents. Keeping the horse was costing me pretty much my full salary. I didn't go out and did anything except lifting, running, riding and working.
For almost a year I was the happiest I had ever been, I literally jumped out of bed excited to live the day, I would work 8-4, lift in my home gym and go visit my horse, either riding, or just being with him, during the time I had him I didn't go a single day without seeing him.
Of course living like this means that I don't have the most social life or friends circle, but I didn't care since every hour of my life was busy.
My plan for the year was training and competing and then in September changing jobs and buying the horse, but in July the horse was injured, I didn't get the best veterinary advice and didn't know what to do, I was being drained for a horse I couldn't even ride or enjoy, after all those months of hard work and discipline, for some reason the owner got mad, and petty sold him behind my back.
During this time, my highschool best friend started regaining contact and started meeting with me and his gf, they gave me a lot of support during those weeks, against all odds, I nailed an interview for a high-paying job that would've allowed me to buy the horse and maintain it comfortably.
I was still too hurt from what had happened, so I just chilled for a few months, saving money, and hanging out with my friend and his gf, and lifting and running, I was at my physical peak, I was lifting heavier than ever, running faster and longer, I was optimistic for the future, I just needed time to heal and I had the means to do so, social life, earning money and physical activity.
 
Fast forward to December and I receive a cryptic message from my friend's GF saying that she wasn't going to be here for my birthday (we met the previous day) because my dumbass friend just broke up with her.
That basically destroyed my little social life since they were living in the city, and my friend disappeared to be with his new GF.
I tried to comfort her and be there for her (wasn't attracted and even if I were it wouldn't be right to take advantage of the situation).
The months of just working and lifting allowed me to save enough to start looking to buy my own horse, I was still hurting from the whole situation, and being alone, but still I was just lifting heavy, running, walking my dog, keeping myself busy.
In February after trying and vetting some horses, I found one that seemed promising. I bought a very expensive veterinary exam, and he passed it, allegedly, I buy the horse.
 
Long story short, barely 3 weeks into ownership, I started noticing pain and weird stuff that shouldn't be happening since I started with very soft work, a few weeks of going through 3 different vets, and basically the horse had a life-long injury that the first vet didn't catch in the exam, and basically it was done for, I was devastated, I tried some solutions but they we're not effective, it was over.
During those months, my friend's ex-gf started coming to visit me, we slept together (no sex), we talked every day, I gave her presents, one would say what I did was love bombing her, but to me It was just being there giving support, for her it turned into a situationship.
I still had the horse, I couldn't selling him while he was untrained, and I still had a bit of faith in the vet's advice, and then, suddenly, my knee started hurting, I was lucky that in my new job I had private insurance, so I could immediately go to the orthopedist and do an MRI without the long ass waits of the public health care (up to a year for the MRI), and lo and behold, torn meniscus, it rapidly went from "pain while running" to "some days I can't even fucking walk", I had to stop riding, paying my trainer to ride my horse since I needed to sell him, I had to stop running, I had to stop doing any leg gym exercises.
I didn't want to do the surgery since what I read online was very contradictory.
 
Because shit can always get worse, one day I was alone with my parents (we also live with my brother and grandma), and I notice the vibes being off, I ask “what the fuck is your problem?” and they confess that my father doesn’t like my mom anymore, well, not to get into too much detail but since then I’ve had to endure watching my mom cry, they get into arguments all the time, just awful, thing is I was already so drained from my personal bullshit that after the initial shock, It didn’t pain me too much, they just keep living together, although I hear them arguing from time to time.
During those months my ex-friend’s ex-gf kept catching feelings for me, and my autistic ass couldn't really read the situation so I made it worse. Finally she asked me if I was going serious with her or if she could go on about her life. I said that I didn't see her as my partner, and since then she got a boyfriend and our friendship went to shit.
 
I finally sold the horse, my life got extremely bored.
I decided to do the surgery since I couldn't do any of the things I enjoyed, running, riding, whatever, but I had a trip in January with her so I had to postpone it until then, for those months all I could do was going for walks like an old man, and hit the gym (all chest no legs), I was going kinda hard tho, since I knew that during the months of recovery I would lose a lot of muscle and I wanted to go in my best form, during those months I acquired my best physique ever, for the first time, after years of being constant, I liked how my body looked.
The trip was a mistake, she nagged me every minute of it, I could tell she had only gone because it was already paid for, I had postponed the surgery 2 months just to have a horrible weekend.
 
I did the surgery and the first bad news came, they couldn't fix the broken part of the meniscus, so they took it out, this was the worst possible outcome since it would mean a shorter recovery, but the probabilities of arthritis in the future were higher, off to a good start.
2 weeks later I start going to rehab, during those weeks nobody came to visit me, well, my friend did, only to talk shit on his new coworker (during those months he would only message me to talk shit about coworkers or work), nobody else, not the situationship, not my trainer, nobody.
Speaking about the situationship, after the trip, she stopped messaging me, and even replying at all. I thought, well, there it goes, I’ve lost “not being an unopened chat” privilege.
Some boring months of rehab, working the job that I started to dread, and doing the boring ass knee exercises at home, and then, suddenly a glimmer of hope.
 
I start being treated by a “new” physio, but turns out she had been on sick leave for the same reason as me, she tore her meniscus, during those first 3-4 sessions we talked and talked for the whole hour, she was just perfect, around my age, funny, cute, was active, played sports, had a nice body, she lives like 5 minutes walk from my house.
I immediately fell in love like I had never before in my life, and that’s when it came to me, this was it, every bad thing that happened to me has come to this, to meeting this girl, everything made sense, If I had my surgery earlier I would not have met her because she would be on sick leave. My broken meniscus, my lame horse, every bad thing that had happened to me had led me to her.
So I take my autistic ass, and since I felt like we had something cool going on I ask “Hey, I think you’re very interesting and cute and would like to know you better, can I have your number so we can meet and go for a drink some day?” and she actually did give it to me, I asked for her number instead of her IG because I didn’t want to play any game, I thought she wouldn’t give me her number unless she was interested in me, I was ecstatic.
I start texting her and after refusing to meet a few times (with actually convincing excuses) I ask her “Hey if you don't want its fine I won't bother you anymore, just tell me” and she basically told me that she didn’t want to break the physio-patient barrier, I didn’t understand anything but I didn’t want to make it weirder since she is still treating me so I just accepted it.
 
The thing is, I know where she lives, I have to walk past her apartment whenever I go for a walk, drive to town, I get reminded constantly, moving on is very hard, I really thought she was for me, I thought she was finally the reward for all my suffering, but turns out she's just part of the punishment, I legit had a religious revelation, every single bad thing that had happened, God made it so I went and met her, my knee injury, having to sell the horse, losing my friends, no way it was a coincidence.
 
Now that I know that she is not for me, not even as a friend, I have nothing, the knee recovery is not going well, I was supposed to be a-ok in 6 weeks, It’s been 3 months and I still can’t even go for a walk without swelling and pain, I can’t workout because the knee exercises take a long ass time and I feel like they’re not doing shit, I don’t have friends to meet and take my mind off it, every few weeks I have to see my mum weeping around the house because my father is a piece of shit.
 
And to top it all, I just started having similar pain in the good knee, so there is a possibility that even If I hadn’t done shit, it may be injured too, this shit just doesn’t end, it just fucking never ends.
     
TLDR: Everything that has ever given me pleasure or made me happy has been taken away from me. I went from getting out of bed full of hope and enthusiasm to sleeping through my alarms because the only thing I can do is sit in front of a screen. I’ve been having the worst day of my life every day for the past 2 years, after everything I’ve worked hard for and all the sacrifices I’ve made.