How to tell if a guy likes you in first sight

Hello, I am currently pregnant with my first baby. I was pregnant once before but it resulted in a very early miscarriage. So far, everything is going fine. Only things that have happened are when I was super early I was bleeding periodically. It’d be a lot one time then just spotting for the rest of the day/a couple days later. Each time I went to hospital to ensure all is well. And was. Except for the last time, I didn’t go because I didn’t want to have to pay another hospital bill for a false alarm. This coming Thursday I have an ultrasound as well as the genetic testing. Something is telling me everything is not okay. It’s also not helping that I keep seeing women that went for a 12-15 week check in and they were told their baby stopped growing 2 weeks prior, etc. I’m more so just ranting and my heart aches for those mothers. What is making it difficult for me too I think, is that I have not had any symptoms of pregnancy. No vomiting (which no offense to anyone but I’ll take it as a win), no food aversions, no cravings etc. the only thing is my breasts do hurt a lot. The other thing that terrifies me is that I am not in the greatest health. I was smoking 5-7 cigarettes a day as well as chiefing on my vape. My blood pressure is high. I take it myself at home and it will be 150/100 but at the docs office they say it’s normal which I know is not true. I have had hypertension my entire life, since I was 7-8. I am pretty overweight. I was 290 when I got pregnant (I had JUST lost 25 pounds right before becoming pregnant) and I am 320 already. I feel like I am not eating any more than I was, I’ve been trying to eat fruits/veggies. But I keep packing on weight. I also was taken off my medications when I found out I was pregnant(for bipolar and sleep) so I have been anxious and restless. I can’t help but to feel guilty especially if I do lose my baby. My boyfriend has been extremely supportive throughout everything so far. With the exception of a few (unrelated) arguments.
But to highlight the weight thing, if anyone has recepies or meals they enjoy during pregnancy please let me know. I’ve been trying to eat just chicken and veggies but I am getting tired of just chicken.
Thank you all for your time

A, B, C and D.
I want to start with the one I want to kill or beat up the most: A. He is a pro football player, and that's kind of where the problem begins. When we were in the same class my whole life, he always yelled at me whenever we played football, ever since elementary school. He is also (for some reason) the highlight of the class, like for every single girl. He even had his first kiss under a desk in kindergarten. Not that I have a problem with that; the girls are all his, I don't even want a girlfriend. But what I don't get is how every single girl STILL likes and praises him despite him always humiliating, teasing, and sometimes even hitting some of them, yet none of those girls can even stand sitting next to me (especially B, but I'll get to her later). It's like it has become a standard for every girl to not like me. They say they don't hate me and I'm just being dramatic, but I'm pretty sure of the truth; most of them dislike me, don't even respect me. Anyways, back to A. Its almost a part of his daily life to make fun of me or swearing at me. All i did was wear a lumberjack shirt on top of my school uniform and he still sweared at me about it. (Something like ''fuck your clothing'' as the google translate says) he occasinally pushes me out of the way, my fatass ''friend'' pushed me so i leaned against a side to avoid hitting his GF (not that i care that she is his girlfriend) and he still yelled something like ''stay away'' like some fucking dog protecting his mate. He always cuts me off when i ask something to the teacher and almost the whole class joins him like some hiveimind. The girls are so OK with him he always had girls following him like some kind of animal's harem before he had a GF ,they even made fun of THE WAY I THOUGHT(like,my hand was on my chin.), i also call the ones on his tails whores. My hate for him is so strong i get past kill/torture him, i sometimes want to push him to the ground and r@pe him so i can give him a trauma that he will never forget, ruining his life and maybe even suiciding if im lucky (or unlucky). Im trying not to give in,but if i ever did something like that and if someone asked if i regret it,i would probably say ''i would do it again if i had they gave me the chance to go to the past''. Everytime i see him walking down stairs,i want to kick his back,slam his head against the wall until his face bled. İ want to put him down on his knees and hold him by his hair on the streetcar rails,because that way,i would both suicide and also kill him,it would be pure bliss for a few seconds. But i get sad every time i remember that murder is obviously illegal,and it wouldnt be worth burning my life...i also think about if its actually worth it cause, i dont have much dreams,i want to be a simple cashier,not much would change the world if i died,but if i killed him or he died in some way,i would be eternally happy. He is probably one of the,if not the worst, of this list of people,i wanna strangle him to death.
Now for B, she has blue hair and trains in muay thai, she even joins tournaments, but she is half my height and weight, im pretty sure i could beat her up,but i dont want to let my ego get in the way. Anyways now for why i hate her. She is fucking annoying. She ALSO cuts my sentences to make fun of me, she would never sit down with me, she calls me weird, she mentions that has nothing to do with the topic while arguing with me, like the time she made fun of the pose i made for the school album where all the boys are in a single pic.(The pose was me leaning one one of my waist while putting my hand on the opposite side o fmy waist while doing the peace sign, which,sure,its funny,but not an excuse to make fun of me) I always regret the time when she punched my stomach and ran away to her desk. All i did was just raise my leg and slowly ''stomp'' her on the chest,which only just leaved a print of dust on her. If i could go to past,i would definetly beat the shit out of her. She also almost punched me just because i called her adolescent (everyone calls her that btw,she tried to hit JUST me) but i thankfully caught her fist in the air. The teacher of course warned her,but im sure as hell they wouldnt *just* warn me if i hit her,its just general teacher treatment. Anyways long story short,i hate her as much as A,if somehow not more. The things i wanna do to her are the same as A, torture,murder,beating up and rarely even r@pe blah blah.
Now C. He is...a bit egoistic, he will point and laugh at me, but uses force even if i call him a nickname everyone calls him. He even threatened me in elemantary school to join him in being naughty. The intimading about him is well,he is pretty muscly and also grew up in a bit of dangerous streets. He is usually cool but he is one of the people who always keep up with the making fun of me everytime i get a random boner trend (everyone in this list,except B keeps this up btw). Overall i still wanna kill him etc etc, the same.
D. D is...also loved by everyone but me.He also makes fun of me, like saying they will beat me up in highschool for random fucking reasons thats none of his business (Dumb shit like me liking old things btw). I think he is probably the weakest out of this bunch (or maybe B, idk). He studies all day (his mom kinda forces him to) but that doesnt justify his actions like slapping my cheeks (both kind of cheeks,yes). He is also weirdly handsome and kind of a soft. The same thing goes for him too. Murder, beating up, torture, r@pe etc.
Anyways,long story short,these are people that i wouldnt be sad at if they died or got hurt. Also the people who i would love to hurt if it was legal. But, yknow, my hate for A,or any of these people, teaches me something. No matter how much of an asshole you are, no matter what you do,if you are popular for a good reason, you will always be the one winning, its just the way society works. And honestly,classmates like these make me understand some school shooters and why they do it, of course, im not saying its justifyed at all, its one of the stupidest things to do,but i kinda have those thoughts too. Last words: I hope every one of these people i counted above a very unpleasent life and death,they ruined the most active moments of my life,puberty,and further boosted my sadness and p*rn addiction.

Hey everyone, I'm 17 years old and feeling really overwhelmed, so I'm writing this to get it all out and seek some help. Maybe some of you can say something to help me feel less alone.
I feel way behind people my age career-wise because of my immaturity and not listening to my family. I feel like I'm at my breaking point, so here it goes:
I was never particularly good at academics or anything else. I enjoyed playing different sports but was just average at all of them. In 10th grade, I studied for the last 3-4 weeks and scored good enough marks to get into the science stream.
I chose PCM (Physics, Chemistry, and Math) because I wanted to join the NDA and become an officer. It was a dream I never worked towards, and now I realize how unrealistic it was. In 11th grade, I was in a relationship and wasted a lot of time on that and other distractions. I didn’t have any friends except my boyfriend. I thought I could score decent marks by studying in the last few weeks like I did in 10th grade, but it didn’t work, and I failed.
Then my boyfriend suggested we break up to focus on our studies. It hurt a little, but I agreed. He ended up scoring decent marks.
I repeated 11th grade in the same school (big mistake) and took PCM again (even bigger mistake) to prove people wrong who said I shouldn’t take it. I had three goals: study hard, make friends, and improve my health. I was bullied by my classmates but eventually made some friends, had a decent social life, and passed my UT exams, though not with great marks.
Things got worse when I started seeing my ex in the corridors. He asked a mutual friend how I was doing, and we tried to make things work again. I was very insecure, and he eventually wanted to break up again. A week before, he was sending me mixed signals, but he had made up his mind.
During his farewell, I found out he was close to another girl. It hurt a lot because I was still dealing with my insecurities. She even had the same name as me, which felt like a cruel twist. All I could think about was both of them doing the things we had discussed. I kept arguing with him in my mind.
My birthday and exams were coming up, and I couldn’t focus on anything but them. My grandfather also passed away, and I felt guilty for not visiting him due to exams. With all this happening, I got really depressed.
When the results came, I failed again.
Currently, I'm doing commerce from an open school and scoring well on my tuition exams. I'm not talking to anyone except family because I don't know how to reach out. I do feel lonely at times, but I am at peace. My liver got really bad due to poor eating habits, so now I'm eating healthy and exercising.
What also helped me is that I have shifted recently, so I had this sense that I am away from all those things and starting a new life. But today, I saw a boy from my first 11th batch in my new colony, and it broke me down so badly. He was friends with my ex.
I'm not using Instagram or any social media and I'm not in contact with anyone from my past.
I know at the end of the day, it's all my fault and I brought it upon myself.
If anyone has advice or just wants to share their thoughts, it would mean a lot to me.

Put the spoiler tag to be sure.
I realize Penacony's quest is yet to finish, and Acheron will most probably be explored further down the line as the story progresses even beyond Penacony, but I wanted to get this out just as I am feeling it (plus, I dare to say that we do have a big picture of who Acheron is by now, so I doubt something drastic will happen to change this, but only time can tell).
This sentiment originates from the direct parallel from her Genshin Impact counterpart: Raiden Shogun, or more specifically, Ei. I am not going to get into details regarding this character, that's not the point of discussion I want to convey here. What I wanted to point out is how this character has been a hot spot for controvery for three years within the Genshin community. And with her being my favorite character from that game, it just infuriates me how she has always been so "villainified" and misunderstood, taking all her negative attributes to hyperbolic extremes that make her out to be worse than she actually is. I guess I can only blame the writing for this. I would also try to add anything related to Raiden Mei from Honkai Impact, but I am not familiar with the game, and I do NOT speak about things I don't know.
But with Acheron, the atmosphere feels different, more positive even. And I guess it is also due to her writting. I cannot think of anything she has done that can be considered morally grey, or even bad. She has been one of the key people in freeing Penacony from Ena's dream. Everything that surrounds her just makes the audience respect her. She fought against millions of demons in a futile attempt to save her planet. She endured the, debatably, most dangerous Aeon the game has. She has taken upon herself the meaningless task of guiding the lost souls to rest. Her ultimate goal is to kill the very same being that made her life, and many other lost souls, a misery. She has also shown numerous times she never retorts to violent means if she can solve the issue without it (She has been taunted to fight by 6 people so far: Duke Inferno, Aventurine, Welt, Sam, the Dream Master and Boothill. Out of them, only two were struck down, because they wouldn't accept any other solution but to fight). Her presence even clashes with what we know of Self-Annihilators. Despite being close to becoming a shell of what she once was, and currently being an Emanator of Nihility no less, her view of what life is is actually very hopeful and warm. She is a hero and a warrior through and through, and I am happy to see that the general reception of her character seems to be a positive one.
The only thing I can think of that can make her look like a bad person is that if you got stuck into believing that what happened in the Rondo Across Countless Kalpas trailer was all literal. But I'd dare to say that you need to be too illiterate to not notice that it was mostly a metaphorical way of portraying the Nihility within herself, and what happens when anyone interacts too closely to what she went through, specially when that someone is a memetic entity of the Rememberance.
I know this may sound nonsensical, as they are different characters, so of course they are treated differently. You may be correct, I just found it curious that my favorite characters from both games turned out to be the "Raiden Mei" iteration of each game. So this is just the feeling of relief after seeing that "she" went from being hated and misunderstood endlessly for years, to being actually decently written, with a lot of positive traits that make her a very likeable character.
Was this post a stupid rant? Yes. Was it unnecessary? Possibly. But you could say that doing meaningless things is part of the beauty of Nihility.

First time real estate investor
I’m in my young 20s and make a little more than 70k a year. Currently still in school. I pay for school out of pocket but it’s only 1k per semester ( trying to get some scholarship). I have about 20k saved up for the home, 4k emergency fund, and 18k in stock market. Was thinking of getting a duplex and living in one unit and renting the other out but Ik those cost around 300k+. And didn’t know if I should leverage that much on first deal. Also thought about getting a small residential home (3 bedroom) and have (2) friends/randoms pay rent while living with them. I was looking at homes for around 175k+ in good city but most of those homes are in new construction neighborhood (which I think have a good potential for a lot of appreciation when construction is done).Which option do you guys think would be better for my situation. And what price range home would be best. (Credit score of (700-720) & (no debt) And don’t tell me I should focus on finishing school and just save. (I still plan on finishing school) In Texas

Any data analysts/web sleuth programming geniuses out there among us?
Hey folks,
So this morning I had a bit of an epiphany. Unfortunately, it’s not something I perfectly understand well enough to act on it.
A few months ago I was listening to a podcast about how a team of investigative journalists discovered that an army of bots based out of Saudi Arabia took aim at Amber Heard online during the trial vs. Johnny Depp. First off; I don’t have a dog in that race and from what I saw during that trial I think it’s fair to say that that relationship was pretty fucked up so the idea that an army of Saudi bots tried to influence public opinion on Johnny Depp is at least conceivably possible. I remember personally taking Johnny Depps side during the trial but that podcast made me doubt whether I had just become victim to propaganda.
So what has this got to do with GME?
Well it got me thinking as to whether we had folks in our community who can analyse large volumes of data. Over the last week we have seen a huge influx of what appear to be shill bots on this sub. But one place this seems to have been more dramatic was Twitter (I can’t bring myself to refer to it as X). What if we could figure out a way to crowd source the collection of seemingly bot posts about GME, and see if there are any commonalities among them. The first question we could answer (although I think we all know the answer ourselves intuitively) is what percentage of these anti-GME posts are organic and what percentage weren’t? From there we could look to see if we could figure out where these are coming from. Over this saga we have proposed many villains in this sub; Mr Left, K Griffin, B Hwang, Archegos, Credit Suisse (by proxy of Archegos, now UBS. Then of course we have S Cohen, Vlad who robbed the hood, Apex Clearing, the DTCC etc etc etc.(I had to write names like this because when I tried to post the full names the post was auto-removed… suspicious much?) it’s practically impossible to figure out who is sitting with a massive net-short position on GameStop. If we were to identify who’s funding these bot farms, we could possibly figure out who it is that has the largest vested interest in controlling the narrative on GameStop.
I work as a product manager for a tech company and while I don’t know how to actually do anything technical, I kind of understand how you might go about a task like this if you had the right resources available to you. I will caveat that what I am about to say will show how limited my technical capabilities are, but nonetheless here goes; we would first need to collect all the posts, comments and tweets and associated accounts with negative sentiments about GameStop. I believe after that we would need to use some sort of analytics tool like Information Tracer dot com (referenced in the podcast as a tool used to identify such disinformation campaigns)
As I say I know sweet fuck all about how to do any of this. I do know though that our Ape Historian has been collecting info and posts from this sub for a long time. The main thing that currently seems out of reach is someone who can analyse large data sets and write algorithms to spot patterns in these accounts. For that we would need some sort of applied scientist who could perform such analysis. So with that said, do any of you know how to perform such analysis? I have to thing that among us there must be at least 1 person with these skills. I’d be happy to fund (within reason I’m a europoor) such a campaign if the right person came forward to work on this.
This is just an idea, hoping this strikes a cord with our community.
Buy Hold DRS

(Apologies for throwaway and any bad English, I’m Belgian)
For context, my ex and I were dating for 9 months and we only recently broke up as of a month ago now. My ex regularly tells me she loves me and I do so as well because those feelings honestly haven’t left me. We are both originally from Belgium but she left about 3 months ago for a job in Cologne, Germany. She has come back to Belgium last month after we had broken up for a college graduation and we were together the whole time. While she was here, she repeatedly said she loved me and was all over me.
We broke up because I have problems communicating how I feel during stressful situations. It was my decision but I regret it everyday. I have my final exams for college within a month and I believed it was only fair to her if we broke up/went on a break so she wouldn’t have to deal with me stressing and being upset. She didn’t want the break up because she loves me and wished I’d spoken to her about it but I don’t know how. During the break up, we continued to act like everything was the same (saying I love you, falling asleep on FaceTime every night etc..) but she started to mention a new coworker, Leon. Leon and her had started a friendship and by the way she spoke of him, I assumed she liked him. I asked her out of curiosity and she continued to deny it and say she loves me.
However, yesterday she said she has developed a crush on Leon and didn’t want to tell me. She told me this over FaceTime and I got upset that I was losing her. I didn’t tell her that but I promptly left and she pried how I felt out of me eventually. Every time I talk to her now it hurts because she still says she loves me and fell asleep with me on FaceTime last night as if everything was normal. I only want what is best for her and if she really wants this guy she should go for it but I can’t help but feel like my heart is crushing every time I talk to her. She hasn’t stopped talking to me at all and I’m due to visit her in Cologne after my exams. Should I cancel my flight and distance myself from her? I still love her so much and the idea of her with someone else kills me so is it better to stop talking to her? Thanks for reading.

What do I do know?
Got through most of the endings, and my favorite and 'canon' would be the Star ending as it's, through my experience and RP purposes, the best ending for V. I spent a few extra hours and stayed up at 2AM just to finish the Star and it was so satisfying. That scene with Panam at the dam and the NC in all of its glory was mesmerizing. Then the ending scene hit me like a truck, but in a sense of relief and happiness. That V finally leaves all the shit he has gone through in NC and found the purpose that he has now, his loved ones. Thematically, it makes sense to my nomad V too, as I portrayed V in my playthrough as a lost person struggling to find a way to survive, finally finding his purpose in his new relationship with Panam and the Aldecaldos.
It kinda confuses me how there's lots of threads in this sub about how there is no 'happy' ending in this game. Is the Star considered not a happy ending by many?
I think the other endings makes V sacrifice his relationships for his own greediness, i.e becoming an NC/Afterlife legend. It's truly only the Star ending where most of the friends you have in NC still kept in touch with you afterward, and seem happy all things considering. Maybe not Mama Welles though lol, but c'mon Ms. Welles, you really think riding with the Aldecaldos is a lot riskier than living in Night fucking City?
Only thing that confuses me is why Johnny seem to ghost V's friends in the Temperance ending lol. Seems like such a dick move to not tell them or give closure. That Judy call scene breaks my heart.
Anyways, it's such a feel good ending for me. And now I don't know what to do in life lol. This entire day I've just been thinking about Cyberpunk 2077 and how much fun it was to play, and how emotional it made me feel. Not even afraid to say it's my favorite game ever, because it has one of the best gameplays I've ever played that even 90+ hours in is still fun, and because of how realistic and relatable the characters in the game are. Not to mention the immersion and how fucking amazing Night City is graphically. If you got people becoming attached to fictional characters in video games, it's a sign you did a very good job on creating a video game.
P.S game renewed my appreciation for sunsets lol. Feels like I just wanna go out and drive like I always do in the game, and listen to music while doing so.

To be loved is to be seen
But I don’t feel that way with you. I love you a lot and I try to push my needy desires away but at the same time I give you everything l. I treat you the way I wished to be treated and get disappointed and I know it’s not in your nature but you know me well enough that it is in mine. Effort is appreciated. When we got into an argument before and i bought you flowers and candy to apologize yet I can’t even get that from you. It’s like you disregard my actual feelings no matter how many times I try to express it to you and I’m at a point where I have to force myself to conceal my feelings from you. you say Im spoiled but in reality I spoil you in every way possible. I massage you when you said your sore because I wanted to help out of the kindness of my heart. Yet you don’t bat an eye at me or do anything for me. I don’t expect everything to have something in return but I’d appreciate it if you showed your love to me to. I’d do anything you tell me to do like hug you, dry your hair for you and I accept your request with love. Yet it’s so hard for you to return it with LOVE not force. Without being forced to. I asked this questions so many times. I just wish you would do things in your own heart. Learn ways for me just like I’m learning to change myself for you. I’ve tried my best to control my own feelings control my own anger for the better of our relationship and you’ve acknowledged that. I can’t see any change in you though. It’s hard because I see a future with you but at the same time I don’t know if I want to stay in that future.
This is why I write to myself because it’s hard for me to accept that this is how I’ll continue to live my life with you. I love you I do but I don’t feel the same.
I feel like I do all the work. With organizing and arranging everything from our apartment to our dates. I put all the effort, that’s what makes it so draining for me just as it is draining for you to keep hearing this.
I want to be treated like a princess to. I want to be treated with love but that’s only every once a blue moon. I work more hours than you. I work harder than you and you get paid better than me. Why must I work harder? I’m not asking you to overwork yourself but I want some acknowledgment of my own accomplishments to. It’s like I’m the man here in this relationship and many people see it. Many people say it to me but I push it aside because I know “it’s not in your nature” we grew up differently we act differently, but I’m changing myself in every way to satisfy you and to build our relationship.
I have nowhere else to go to say this I can’t tell it to him so I put my feelings online. I’m tired and I’ve expressed myself too many times to my boyfriend it’s tiring and because of my outburst I feel like to him “it’s just another thing she’s mad over”

I'm here working outside under the sun. No clouds in sight, just a friendly wind making the set up perfect.. I did my workout already at 7 o'clock, went for a little run and hit the gym. 1,5 hours in total. I'm finishing my thesis for university, tomorrow is the deadline and after many painful weeks I'm 100% positive that I will graduate this spring.. oh my god how good it feels to say that.
My background is quite dark. I'm 25, I've had a decent life so far; I have quite large social network and supporting family and friends. Careerwise I'm doing okay. I got a job and our band is about to sign a deal with one of the major labors. People describe me as a friendly, positive and funny person who's easy to hang out with. Well breaking news, that's all fake fellas..
Behind the scenes I was/I've been depressed as hell for 6 years. Today I realize the reason behind that was pörn and mösturbation addiction. For every single day ever since I was föcking 13 years old.. The shame I've carried all these years made me feel literally miserable and different from other people. Last time I was in relationship 7 years ago, which ended bc my low self esteem caused by pörn. My parents never taught me a single this about söx or pörn, I had to gain the knowledge by myself. Unfortunately I did it in a wrong way by watching pörn...
My nofap journey is currently at day 40, yay! I gotta tell you bros, I haven't felt this good since 2016.. I always used to dream it was 2016 again, now I realize that's unnecessary. The life is here right now. My confidence is flying through the roof, I find it super easy and interesting to talk to everyone all the time. I used to find small talk waste of time, now I'm living for it haha.
My focus is 1000% better than before. I find little things interesting such as this sunshine or writing a föcking journal update. Without doing this change, I wouldn't have been able to graduate.. Also I already have a thing with a girl I've fancied literally ever since I was 18. I föcking sent her a message and turns out she had a thing for me too back in the days.. Imagine. My first relationship in 7 years is potentially about to happen..
Earlier this year I already had some nofap attempts which makes this time easier I guess. I'm 100% committed for this new lifestyle and I NEVER want to go back to the darkness.
If you're still reading please listen. I just want to tell you that you HAVE TO fight real hard bro to get rid of pmo. I've been hitting my head against the wall, I've stayed up all night with the urges, I even had to leave my house at 2am just not to masturbate and stay in local gas station like a föcking idiot... It will be super hard at times, but believe me, the reward is just so amazing.. Something I didn't know even existed. I had already made the conclusion that I'm just different from the other people and will die alone.
I know day 40 is just the beginning but I feel like I've beaten the hardest part already. Now it's only one hard day per week, it used to be 7. 90 days will come so fast. Lastly, my tips on how to do it based on how I did it:

• Block porn sites on your phone and computer. On iPhone and Mac that can be done in settings, or then install a blocker app
• Start dopamine detox. This is crucial. Only this way your brain will get rid of the need of constant dopamine caused by porn. After week or two you won't be looking for porn just for boredom which is a trigger for many.
  • Remove TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, Youtube, all the apps on your phone causing 1. dopamine overload 2. you to expose for sexual content.
  • Stop video games, Netflix series, all the things that give you infinite dopamine. Your brain is ruined I'm sorry to tell you. Most of ours are. And yes, you really have to suffer from boredom to make an actual progress. So goodbye all the discord friends, it's time to make real life friends.
  • Block the news sites on your phone. At least on iPhone you can manually block certain websites. The reason for this: 1. just like everything else, news are sexualized these days for more readers. You will get exposed for sexual images and titles. 2. News are mostly negative, which affects our brain wrong way. No, everything is not wrong in modern world, you just read too much news.
• Start working out. This is the hardest part for the most. Even if you're at bad shape, start walking outside, then running. Only this way you start to respect your own body and heal from the damage pörn did you your self esteem. Start lifting heavy weights in gym. Your testosterone levels will get back up and morning wood will be crazy,
• Avoid any sexual content as much as possible. Just do it. Don't watch twitch or play tinder. That will make you relapse. Unfortunately.
• Sleep with pants on.
• Don't even dare to touch yourself. Do not edge, or mösturbate even a little bit. Blue balls will make everything so much harder.
• Optional: start eating healthy and avoid sugar, quit nicotine, gambling and other addictions. Okay, this sound really hard, but I did it too. Now I'm addicted to new things like working out and having social life.

You have the strength in you to make the difference brother! Imagine having a hard time for ONE MONTH just to have the best time of your life for years. It's so easy to waste our life in internet but there is so much to feel and experience. Start today, and don't quit no matter what happens. 💪

Bunbunmaru news network is a fake youtube news channel that was made on June 18th 2021 and is currently still running. In the channels early days they uploaded bait and switch gore videos but now about half of the videos uploaded have been removed by YouTube.
Removed videos:
the first removed video I will talk about was one called “nyanners singing meme” which is of an anime character dancing then it cuts to a quick beheading in the top corner before cutting back to the anime character. I actually got to see the video before it was removed by youtube and in my opinion it really wasn’t that bad. Another video that got removed which I also got to have the opportunity of seeing before it’s removal was a video called ventas rumba and it shows a clip of the venta waterfall in Latvia before cutting to a beheading in a pink colored tint and cutting back to the waterfall. In my opinion that video was worse than the first beheading but still not the worst I’ve seen. Another removed video was called anime meme and it began with an anime character with a chainsaw before cutting to the infamous cartel murder video 2 guys 1 chainsaw (never heard of it but wanna learn more without watching it? Here is a short article I wrote about the video https://www.reddit.com/thingsnottogoogle/comments/199g3fj/2\_guys\_1\_chainsaw/). I didn’t get the chance to see the bait and switch video on youtube with 2 guys 1 chainsaw but I’ve seen the actual video of it and it is very disturbing and graphic. Another removed video that I didn’t get to see was a video called “old film from Iraq” and it is an isis beheading and other clips of isis killings which from seeing past videos I know are very graphic. Another one that I didn’t get to see and in all honesty didn’t want to because it’s gross was one called narco arc said something naughty and it was a video of a character (I think anime) saying the n word before cutting to a video called snake ass or 1 man 1 snake where a man sticks a snake up his…I’m sure you can figure it out. There’s supposedly another video on the channel called Pearl fish’s gross hiding spot that also cuts to 1 man 1 snake and oddly enough hasn’t been removed from the channel. Another removed video is a video called SpongeBob’s naughty tv show and it shows SpongeBob watching tv then cuts to a man masturbating with a mcchicken sandwich. Another removed video and probably the least disturbing removed video because it doesn’t have actual gore or gross content was called ducktales molestar psa and supposedly it was just the ducktales characters saying inappropriate racist things in a song but I never got to see it and can’t find any further details on it. The last of the removed videos and probably the most disturbing of the removed videos is one called tourist trolled in Mexico and it’s the infamous el patron or 1 man 5 bullets video and it shows the murder of a man named Leonardo Alexander Caripe Brito. I also wanted to say that the video wasn’t even from Mexico and the murder actually took place in Peru so the name of the video was wrong. In the video Brito is sitting on steps near a building and a man named Frank Anthony Lopez Quiroz approaches him yelling “tu dile el patron” which means “you told the boss” and before Brito says anything Quiroz pulls out a gun and begins shooting him in the face and in the video Brito’s eyeball pops out after being shot and his nose pours out blood as he collapses bleeding out and then the video ends. I saw the video before (not on bunbunmaru tho) and it was so bad that I would consider it to be about as bad as some cartel videos I’ve seen and maybe even worse than some of them. Unfortunately Brito was only 34 and he left behind a wife and 3 young kids. Quiroz was also arrested prior to killing Brito for murdering 2 people and was connected to 8 other murders and went by the nickname“mata por gusto” which translates to “kills for pleasure” so he is obviously a piece of work. Rest in peace Leonardo Brito
Videos that are still up: I am currently watching some of the videos that are still up to help write this post and I won’t lie I am watching them out of curiosity too. The first video that is still up and I believe I watched it when I first found out about the channel about 6 months ago but I don’t feel like watching it again because it was really gross. It’s called “wtf gumball watchin” and it supposedlyshows gumball from the amazing world of gumball walking in on banana Joe (another character from the show) watching a video on his computer and the video shows multiple other pictures and videos with 2 being of scat porn, one being a dead animal with “fuck (n words) on it”, 2 characters from a show called ongezellig, and the nazi swastika symbol. From what I remember luckily the videos and photos were super small and hard to tell what they are but again I don’t feel like seeing anything related to scat so I won’t be watching that again. The next video which I actually just watched now 5 seconds ago and it really isn’t that bad is called “hodomoe cat mp6” and it shows a cat dancing with multiple gore images that are so small that you can barely tell what they are and the one looked like a guy missing his face and according to screamer wiki the one picture is of a motorcycle accident but the pictures are so small that you can barely see them. The next video which I’ve also opted out of watching I already talked about and it is called “Pearl fish’s gross hiding spot”. The next video which I watched about an hour ago right before I began writing this post (yes these posts take me a while to write) is called “decipher this song” and it shows an all black screen with a song playing and at the very end it shows a very quick clip of a decomposing body. There are also 2 very mild videos on the channel called cat bbc and sound 100% koin which are just bait and switch videos that cut to Jeff the killer. The channel also uploaded a few other videos that screamer wiki hasn’t written about yet and I am taking breaks from writing to watch them and returning to writing right after I finish watching each. The one I just watched is called “I like touhou” and it’s another highly disturbing video that begins some anime character and then shows an isis beheading and a picture of a very decomposed body who’s face is completely blue. The next one I just watched is called fainal rickroll and it is just a video that cuts to Jeff the killer with a rickroll at the end nothing crazy. The last one is called oh pretttty Roman and it shows a series of gore images with one being the guy missing his face from hodomoe cat and a picture of the infamous shock image “tubgirl” where a girl is in a bathtub with her own diarrhea shooting on her face and a few memes and more gore pictures with one being a person missing a hand and another decomposing body then a picture of Jeff the killer. After the disturbing images the video cuts to a color changing screen that is probably a seizure warning for some people so don’t watch that if you have issues with flashing lights. If the channel posts more in the future then I might make another post talking about it as well but based on past similar youtube channels they probably won’t be up too long because people report that type of content. Thanks for reading and thanks for helping grow this subreddit you guys are cool people and I hope that didn’t ruin your day like seeing some of it ruined my night.
Anyway if reading about it wasn’t disturbing enough here is the link to this somewhat entertaining mess of a youtube channel https://youtube.com/@bunbunmarunewsnetwork?si=kEYDZD6id3hgdCQL

I can't get out "pedro pedro pedro" from my head 😭
Looking for someone to talk dumb and stupid stuff but also have serious conversations. We can have roast battles, annoy each other, etc.
I like to joke around and can take jokes. If you too can take jokes then we can pretty much vibe. Also I can listen to you vent or give advice and expect the same from you. A study buddy would be amazing too 😂
I can talk for hours if our vibes match and you too put efforts in the conversation. I don't want to be the only one trying to keep the conversation going and ask questions.
Also I am a 25 year old guy. Please be at least 24 years old.
Tell me who lives in a pineapple under the sea so that I know you have read my post. Or else I wont reply.
Dont forget to stay hydrated :)

I want to thank everyone again for help on my other post regarding beard flakes, but I wanted to make a separate post just to address how messy my beard looks. I'm not going to understate it, sometimes I go out and I feel like I look homeless. It makes me feel a bit self conscious.
I haven't yet gone to a barber for a trim because I was advised to just grow it out for at least 3 months before doing so. I want a bit of a medium sized beard so that makes sense. I'm on month 2 right now, just hit this milestone.
But no matter how much I brush guys, my hairs seem to have a will of their own. I don't even know what my hair type 'technically is'. It looks like a curly beard to me. When I wake up sometimes it feels like straw, despite me oiling (maybe even over oiling, and putting on balm before I sleep).
Furthermore, my moustache hairs look especially odd as they stick out over my lip and grow downwards.
I have included some pics for you: https://ibb.co/album/TczJn8
This is after brushing. It just bounces back out lol.
My plan for next week is to buy a hair dryer (don't own one currently) and try to use some heat and brushing to maintain the beard and stache. I'm also thinking about using heavy duty stache wax even though my stache is still in it's infancy.
Am I overthinking this? I know I'm not going to get a 10/10 beard on month 2 just like that, it takes time and patience and commitment, but I want to make sure I'm doing my very best to nurture it and it's appearance.
I'm thinking about giving it another month then going to a barber, but I'd appreciate some opinions. I have no problem going to a barber as early as next week if that's going to make it better. I don't know if I want to fade the sides though. I'd rather just find a way to hold them in place. Same with the stache, I've been against snipping off the hanging parts, I'd rather find a way to style it to the sides. But I'm inexperienced, so let me know if this is a bad idea.

My life has been in place, and is how I want it, and I feel I should be completely happy, but I don’t think I am. Am I?
As a young person (will not share age), I feel like I’ve gone too far and can’t go back. I love my parents very dearly, and family, but I’m exposed to very inappropriate content, such as 18+ YouTubers and podcasts. It makes me feel so guilty that I’m doing this behind my parent’s back, and that they think I’m so innocent, they tell me they love me every day, and giving me gifts. I’m aware that I know just as much as someone who is over 18, and I’m sensing that’s a massive problem for my future.
All of my cousins are at lest a decade over my age, and I feel like I’m not fitting in. So I started watching adult videos to try and gain their prospective, but now I just feel upset and pissed at myself that I started doing that in the first place. I regret ever trying it out, and it gave me anxiety, thinking of my parents finding out about the content I am exposed to, and have seen. I wish I was older so I can fit in with people around me, and the things I have seen have influenced me to be excited to become an adult, drinking, going out, dating, swearing, adult jokes, I wish I could do those, but I can’t.
I feel happy with the content I am watching, but also very, very guilty. For someone my age, I shouldn’t be watching this type of content , but I feel like I’ve normalized it so much to the point where I don’t even care anymore. I enjoy it, but I feel like I shouldn’t be, and I’m probably right. But it’s difficult for me to get rid of that hobby, because it makes me happy but very, very upset in life.

My boyfriend (M38) and I (F34) have been together almost two and half years and I think I need to break it off. He’s a great guy and I love him so much, but he’s become comfortable with me doing “wifey” things on a girlfriend’s salary (that’s partly my fault) and is in absolutely no rush to propose or at least ask me to move in with him. We both have children, we are all great with one another and usually very happy, which is why I don’t want to lose him. But we are both at an age where I believe it’s all or nothing because there isn’t time to waste especially if you say you found “the one” like he says. Most importantly, I’m setting an example for my daughter. I don’t want to give him an ultimatum, nor pressure him to do something he isn’t ready to do. However, I’m ready and it’s not fair to me or my daughter that our relationship can only progress on his timeline. That’s why I’m breaking it off, not to change his mind, but simply because I love him, but love me more. How do I say this sensibly? How do I break this relationship up or how do I word this so he’ll understand why I’m doing it? If anyone has a helpful word, I’d be grateful.

Hi,
I am looking to finance this car and the MSRP is going for about 32400-32800 of course before tax and any dealer adjustment.
Dealer A: I've gone to two dealers now and one is saying, with 50% down, 72m term, they can get me 6.83% APR after saying they cant adjust APR at all. After I kept trying to negotiate down from 7.99% from TFS.
Dealer B: Then I went to a different dealer, and with the same down payment, term, I was told that you actually cant lower your APR, for this car specifically it is set at 7.99% with TFS. And that if I want lower APR I am free to take a quote to a bank to negotiate a lower APR after signing on in hopes a bank will take over and beat that APR for me.
​
That's the backstory.
SO my question is. Dealer A printed something out for me after running my credit, and on there you had Base Buy Rate: 6.83% Final Buy Rate: 6.83% Maximum Mark up %: 2% Approved Customer Rate: 7.9%
What the guy adjusted (7.99 to 6.83) was the Buy and the Final rates. But the Max mark up rate, and approved customer rate stayed the same. He even highlighted the Base and Final rates so I keep my attention on that instead of anything else which he treated like unimportant info.
Am I being led on in hopes I sign something without realize the real APR and interest?
(as you can tell its my first time financing a car so please go easy on me )
Oh and I am 24, have a 9-5 job with decent annual income at my age and have 740 credit score if that will help imagine things.
Thanks!

I recently joined a company and have this male colleague on the same floor, but different team (we don't work together). We started talking in the break room and realized we were going to take the same exam so we exchanged numbers.
At one point of an initial conversation, he sent me a link to a vid that said "the person receiving this has to treat the sender to dessert" asked me what I was upto after work and I said "not much, catching up with my bf" and ignored the video suggestion. For the very first time he stopped replying and I noticed he ignored me at work too. When I passed by him in the break room I waved and was then hanging with my friends. After they walked away, he came up to me and said "I hope you do not think I was hitting on you". When I said "what?", he said "you were catching up with your best friend yesterday??" I said no, my boyfriend. Then he says "okay, I hope you do not think I was hitting on you. I just have a very strong personality. People around here say things like that. I have a very strong personality." I said uh..we can be work-friends and he agreed. I was a bit uncomfortable but felt he understood that I was not interested in him nor in these types of conversations.
Yesterday, around 8 pm, he messaged me a voice note talking about how I looked at work yesterday. The words were "I just wanted to let you know how cute you looked yesterday, not that you don't look cute everyday". I never replied to it. He then sent a message saying "I hope that wasn't too much". I ignored that too.
Today, at work, he tried to talk in the break room at the end of my lunch. I said "oh, getting late" and went to my desk. After this, he walked up to a coworker who is being trained with me, and asked her "do you guys have a meeting with your team lead right now?" She said no. Then he said "does just searustsearust have a meeting with the team lead?" She told him no. He then asked her "okay, then why is she always running away from me?" She told me this conversation later because she found it odd too.
Some time later, he comes up to my desk and says "I was just kidding when I said you were running away from me, by the way". Then he adds, "you had a meeting right?" I said "I did not say I have a meeting. I said I was getting late meaning my 30 min lunch is up." He said "ohhhhh, okay!"
It made me uncomfortable that he was going up to someone else who works here to ask her why I was "running away from him". It also made me uncomfortable to know that he asked my coworker if I had a meeting after lunch, then came up to my desk an hour after he talked to her, to ask me if I had a meeting after lunch. It seemed as though he wanted to catch me in a lie.
I did not like his behavior. I thought I should be very clear with him. I sent him a message today after work saying I am not interested in him. He said "i was just being friendly lol" and that "omg it was a compliment lol" and "i know u have a bf lol". I told him it was inappropriate to a female colleague and I am clearly letting you know that I am not interested. he said "i told you don't take anything seriously a while back" "im good to be friends with, i dont have anything weird". I said "Nah, its inappropriate to a female colleague" and he said "cool". I blocked him on whatsapp, where we were exchanging messages. He tried to give me a regular call and I did not pick up and then blocked him there too.
In between him first finding out that I have a bf and these most recent msgs, I would say all the msgs were "innocent" from his side. Things like restaurant recommendations (that I didnt ask for but he wanted to share) and random things like what he did that day, even if I didn't ask. I would reply to be polite after some time but usually not immediately. Once I accidentally called him and immediately ended it. He instantly called back and I did not answer but instead messaged him to tell him it was by accident. He replied saying I could have still talked on the phone. I never called back or replied. This was like over a week ago. I didn't want to feel obligated to reply to someone some guy who is not my boyfriend, esp when I am not even close to this guy in any way. I felt I should keep my distance a bit but remain polite so thats what I was doing. But I didnt like his behavior over these last couple days.
I sent HR an email and we are going to talk next week. I told them action doesnt need to be taken, but I just wanted to officially document this guy's behavior. They want to talk to me next week. I am sure they will keep it confidential. I don't feel that strongly about it that this guy should be contacted by them or anything.
I am feeling bad about blocking this guy. I think he was probably calling to apologize or explain himself. He has in general been fine as a person, on the superficial level that I know him. I have always been polite and kind but felt he crossed a line by saying whatever he wanted to say under the umbrella of "just being friendly". Like I am obligated to laugh everything off. There's no reason to feel bad yet I do. I felt like sending him a message to say lets just be cordial and I know you had good intentions and blah blah. But I will hold off until the meeting with HR on Monday.
Thoughts?

Hi all, quick question about the ASG Scorpion's charging handle. I just got one yesterday but I've held them in the past and on those older models, the mock charging handle behaved like the real Scorpion. If you pull it back, it will slide back forward unless you turn it up. However, the version I got will lock the charging handle back until you release the bolt catch. I know for an AEG how the charging handle works is irrelevant, but I just like the feeling of having it operate like the real deal. I know there are different years of Scorpions so I'm guessing this was one of the features changed since I first held one. Is there a way to modify the charging handle to have it behave like a real Scorpion with an automatic return? I've tried to figure out solutions on my own but I was curious if anyone here has been in my same position and figured it out.

It was just supposed to be another camping trip, like so many others we had gone on.
The town we live in isn't huge, but it does have a lot of woodland to explore. We live on the edge of what most people would call Appalachia and we’ve had more than one weird experience out there. Once, as my friends and I walked down the familiar trails, we smelled a strong and unpleasant scent. Brian thought it must have been a bear, but I’d smelled bear smells before. We’d had one winter under our back porch one year, and this was very different from the musty smell he had left when spring came.
Another time, while we were camping, we saw ghost lights in the woods. They were beautiful, red and blue and yellow and orange, and though Justin was afraid of them, I felt drawn to go to them and see them better. I knew better, though. Grandma had told all of us about the dangers of following the ghost lights and had assured us all that we wouldn’t like where they would take us.
“The lands of Fairy is beautiful, but also terrible for mortals to behold. They would make you young for the rest of your days, though that might not be as long as you might think.” She always said with an evil grin.
We’d heard whistling and strange growls, throaty yells, and strange birds, but none of it ever really scared me. The woods had always been a friendly place, a place of adventure, and I always looked forward to my time there. I never felt uneasy when I was within its borders, and as the four of us prepared to go back into the woods for another camping expedition, I was excited.
Brain’s brother had told him about an old trestle bridge deep in the woods and we all wanted to see it.
It was part of the old railroad, something that hadn’t run through the town in a long time. The tracks were still there, the old station too, but the trains had been mostly for passengers, and we had none these days. No one came in, no one left, and we had no industry for the trains to transport. All the wood we harvested went to the sawmill or the paper mill, and there was no need to transport it by rail. The trestle bridge hadn’t seen a train cross it in twenty years and spanned a small gorge in the middle of the forest. Brian said his brother claimed the bridge was where high school kids went to drink beer, and now that we were Freshmen, we should go out there too.
“He said it was a right of passage and that we should go see if the right had decided to leave us a gift out there.”
We didn’t know what sort of gift that would be, but we were all curious to see the bridge.
So, we told our parents we would be camping one weekend in April and took to the woods.
Brian and I were eager, talking about how cool it would be to see it, but Justin and Frank seemed hesitant. Well, that wasn’t quite true. Justin was hesitant, as he almost always was, and Frank was kind of ambivalent. We had met him last year at the start of ninth grade and he had made a pretty good addition to our trio. Frank wasn’t an avid hiker, but he liked to hang out in the woods and get a little high from time to time and that was good enough for us. He also brought outstanding camping snacks, so we were more than happy to hit the trails with him. I wasn’t certain there was a sleeping bag in that rucksack of his, but I could already hear the crinkle of chips and snack cakes within it.
“Any idea how far off this bridge is?” Justin asked, plodding along grumpily.
Justin didn’t mind hiking, but he wasn’t big on aimlessly wandering around in the woods. He had packed enough to make up for Frank’s lack of gear, and the tent poked up over his left shoulder. He was plodding along at the back of the group and I was sure we’d have to listen to a fair amount of complaining before we got there.
“My brother says it's about three miles into the woods, following the river until we come to the gorge. After that, it should be pretty easy to find.”
“And if your brother is playing a trick on us? If he’s just messing with us and we walk three hours into the woods for nothing?”
Brian rolled his eyes, “Then we have a fun little adventure to talk about when we go to college, don’t we?”
Justin grumbled about having to walk three miles into the woods, but we couldn’t have picked a better day for it. The weather was perfect, a slight breeze keeping the early summer heat at bay. The clouds overhead looked a little wet, but they were nowhere close. We’d have a nice camping trip this weekend, a nice little excuse to fish and relax and enjoy ourselves as we explored the old trestle. The woods around the town were full of things like that, and we’d explored old houses that had been retaken by the underbrush or abandoned vehicles that sagged amongst the leaves. When we were in seventh grade, we even found an old concrete culvert out there that led into an underground cave that looked a little spooky in the light of our flashlights.
The farther we walked, however, the less certain I was that the clouds wouldn’t be a problem. The deeper into the woods we went, the more the smell of rain surrounded us. Brian smelled it too, and our pace increased as we kept heading deeper into the forest. Maybe it was just a little rain, maybe it was just a short downpour, and maybe we could get past it before it soaked everything.
When the gorge came into view and I saw the rising, skeletal edifice of the trestle, I breathed a sigh of relief.
“There she is, boys,” Brian said, sounding surprised to have found it as well.
“Looks pretty wrecked,” Frank said, tossing the stub of a cigarette into the gorge, “We aren’t actually going up on that thing, are we?”
“Wel, ya,” Brian said, “That's kind of the whole reason we came, wasn’t it?”
“You might,” Frank said, “but I don’t care what kind of surprise is up there, I ain’t going.”
He had plenty of time to rethink his statement. Just because we had found the gully, didn’t mean we had made it to the trestle. The closer we got, the more I could see that, for its age, it really was in amazing shape. It was less skeletal than I had thought and looked more like a covered metal bridge. The underside of the trestle was a dark cave, the shadows thick and deep, and I really didn’t want to explore the underside unless we REALLY had to. Something about it made me uncomfortable, and as we got closer and closer to the base, the whole thing seemed to grow.
It was mid-afternoon when we finally made it, and Brian let his pack fall as he set about climbing at once.
“Uh, you don’t wanna set up camp first?” Justin asked, taking out his tent and tools for making a fire.
“I want to see the woods from up there,” Brian said, looking at me as if to ask if I was coming.
I let my own pack side off and we climbed the side of the trestle side by side. We were laughing as the ground got farther and farther away, the girders lifting us above the trees until we finally crested the top and came to the old tracks of the railroad. I was full of wonder as I looked out over the woods, the trestle spanning the entire gorge before slanting back down to the woods again. From up here, the clouds looked very dark, and I wondered if the tent would be enough to keep us from getting wet.
“Check this out,” Brian said, dangling his feet over the side as he looked down into the gorge.
Watching him made me slightly dizzy, and I didn’t dare join him on the precipice.
When he came back up, however, he had a rope with him and nodded me over to help him pull it up. It wasn’t really heavy, but we were careful not to get it stuck on anything. Brian left me to pull so he could look over the edge and reported that the rope was attached to an old, red cooler. As it came up and over the edge, I saw that the rope was attached to the handle and the whole thing was the red of a kid's wagon left out in the sun. The box was ancient, the bystander of a thousand summer outings, and there was something inside it.
Brian opened the lid and smiled as he pulled out a lukewarm six-pack of Natty Ice, a brand I was passing familiar with. Dad, a staunch Budweiser man, had always shook his head and called it “pisswater” when he saw it on sale, but I figured for a bunch of kids who were barely old enough to buy beer the price was probably right. I assumed Brian’s brother had put it there, he had told us where to find the trestle bridge, after all, and as Brian fished the note out from under them, my suspicions were confirmed.
“Brian, this is a place where high schoolers have come to drink and hang out for generations. Our own mom and dad sat on this bridge and drank when they were in High school, and now it’s your turn. I spotted you a sixer this time, but you’ll have to bring your own next time. If you ever have extra, leave them in this cooler and then tuck the cooler back under the trestle bridge. Also, don’t go under the bridge, we think there might be a bear under there. Kevin.”
The thought of a bear so close to our campsite kind of scared me, but Brian brushed it off.
“He’s probably just messing with us. Want one?” he asked, popping the top on one as he offered me another one.
I hesitated. I’d never drank before, but I figured just one wouldn’t kill me. It was warm and tasted terrible, but it wasn’t the worst thing I’d ever had. Brian drank his quick, laughing as he threw the can into the gorge far below. We watched it spiral down, spilling the last few remaining drops before it clinked weakly on the bottom.
As if in answer, there was a distant rumble of thunder, and from our vantage point we saw the lightning crack in the distance.
We were on a big metal structure with lightning coming in quick and rain already pattering lightly around us.
“We better go,” I said, Brian looking at the lightning as it rumbled again. He nodded and we decided to run down the tracks rather than try to scale back down. It would mean doubling back, but it wouldn’t be a long trip, and the thought of juggling the rest of the beers and trying to climb down sounded nuts. Brian was holding the four of them close as he ran, smiling to himself as he talked about showing them to the guys.
“Justin will flip!” Brian said with an evil laugh, “You know he still won’t even be around anyone who smokes because of that dumb DARE pledge?”
He was right too. Justin was furiously hammering in tent pegs when we arrived, looking up at the sky every time a drop hit him. He stopped, though, when he noticed us come back with cans that clearly weren’t soda. Frank must have recognized them because he laughed and commented that they had found a pretty cool surprise. Brian tossed him one, turning to Justin as he offered him one too.
Justin put his hands on his hips, looking like my mother when she was disappointed in me.
“Hell no, and you shouldn’t either. Why would you just drink something you found on a rickety bridge?
Brian blew out a long breath and popped open another one, “Because, spaz, my brother left them for us. There was a note and everything, so cool your jets.”
Justin went back to work, mumbling darkly about being reckless and drinking things that could be poisoned or drugged.
The tent came up, and not a moment too soon. The rain was really starting to come down, and it looked like there would be no fire tonight. We all headed into the tent, the wind picking up as it shoved at the tent and made the ropes and pegs groan. It was big enough to fit us all comfortably, and as the lamps came out, Brian held up the last two beers.
"Split the last two?" he asked, everyone but Justin agreeing. We poured them into our camp cups, starting to clink them together before Brian turned to Justin. He was pretending to busy himself with something in the corner, but it was pretty clear he didn't approve of what we were doing.
"Come on, Justin, it's not gonna hurt you. I tell you what, if we see you become an alcoholic after one sip, we'll push you into the gorge and save you the embarrassment."
"Not funny," Justin said, but we had clearly worn him down. After another half-hearted refusal, he finally held his cup out to Justin who grinned as he poured the last of the beer into it. Then we clinked our glasses together and drank, everyone pulling a face which we laughed at. As the storm raged outside we ate some MREs we had packed just in case of bad weather and started on ghost stories. Brian was just telling us about a man with a hungry ghost in his basement when a big gust of wind hit the tent hard enough to collapse the middle brace and send it crashing down on us.
We floundered for a minute, looking for the zipper as we tried to escape, and finally stepping out into the driving rain. It was still afternoon, the sun an angry line amidst the storm clouds, and I turned as I heard someone struggling with the tent. Justin was trying to pull it, the wind threatening to take it from him with every gust.
"Come on," he shouted, "Help me get it under the trestle. It should work as a windbreak."
I remembered the warning about a bear, but Brian just shouted back that it was either the bear or the rain.
"Besides," he said, "If we see one, we'll just run like hell."
It was hard to argue with him while the rain was coming down, so we all grabbed a tent post and moved it into the dry cave created by the trestle. Unlike a lot of train trestles I had seen in movies and TV shows, this one was enclosed. I'm still not sure why, but it worked out well for us that day. We knocked in the tent pegs and sat in the tent as we watched the rain come down in buckets outside. Our stuff had gotten a little wet, but we hadn't brought anything that couldn't take a little water. As the light gave way to dark, we started breaking out our lanterns and cards, settling in for the night as we listened to the rain.
As I lay there watching Justin and Brian play their fourth or fifth game of Magic the Gathering, I started hearing something besides the rain. It was a deep rumbling, like something snoring deep under the metal bridge. I thought again about Brian's brother telling us there was a bear under there. I didn't want to get eaten by a bear in my sleep, and if we were going to have to move again, it was better to know now.
I took out my flashlight and started looking into the shadowy depths of the trestle, but there was nothing to be seen. There was some very thick-looking mud under here, some of it having made little stalagmites on the ground, but I couldn't see anything sleeping under there. It wouldn't make a very good den, I reflected as I shone my light around. It was open on both sides with the gorge coming in about thirty feet from our tent. There was really nowhere for anything to live down here, but as I swung the light from right to left, I could still hear that weird breathing.
On a whim, I pointed it up and under the bridge, and that was when I saw it.
At first, I thought it was a bunch of bats clustered together, but when it flinched under the beam of my light, I knew it was just one big thing. It was a huge bat, maybe bigger than me, with its large, leathery wings pulled up tight around it. It was clinging to the bottom of the trestle bridge, and I imagine it had been a bad spot to hang when the trains still ran. I spotted a slight movement to its left and found a second one hanging not far from it. In total, there were four of them, and when one of them shifted its wings to look down at me with a red, unhappy eye, I turned off the flashlight and zipped up the tent.
The guys had some strong words when I started turning off the lanterns, but I told them to be quiet and get down.
"What?" Frank asked, "Did you see something out there?"
"Was it the bear?" Brian asked, keeping his voice low as we hunkered doen.
"What bear?" Justin asked, but I waved a hand at them, trying to get them to be quiet.
"It's not bear," I hissed, but about that time, there was a weird sound from outside.
It sounded like a high-pitched yawn as something came awake followed by the rustle of wings. The talk in the tent had ceased now, and you could have heard a mouse fart. In the dark of the undercroft, we heard something huge and leathery take flight, rustling the canvas of the tent as it left the darkness. A second took flight a moment after, and I heard water cascade down as it shook the top of the trees. We all lay on our stomachs, panting for breath as we listened for more.
I had seen four, and only two had left so far.
When something hit the ground about a foot from our tent, Justin had to slap a hand over his mouth to stop from screaming. The hushed remnants squeaked from between his fingers like a deflating balloon, but if the creature heard it, it never showed any sign. I could see the vague outline of it as it rose to its full height, and as it flapped its wings and took flight, the tent rustled like it had in the wind.
"Is that all of them?" Brian asked, three sets of eyes turning my way.
I started to tell them there had been a fourth, but that was when the fourth fell on top of the tent. We were very lucky, all things considered. It landed right in the middle of the tent, shattering the plastic pole and sending the plastic material down around us. The creature's toenails scrabbled across it noisily as it tried to find purchase, and when it took off I was afraid it would simply carry us off with it. Instead, it just ripped a hole in the top as it flew off, all of us still reeling as we lay under the canvas.
After a few minutes, it was decided that we would take our sleeping bags and our packs and leave the tent behind.
We spent a miserable night huddled under the biggest tree we could find. We probably looked like fat cata pillars as we hunkered against the roots of the big tree, but we were as dry as we could manage. We all kept looking towards the skies, afraid the giant bat things would come after us, but they never did. We didn't talk, we didn't dare, and when the sun came up, we made our way out of the woods. We arrived at my house cold, scared, and unwilling to talk about what we had seen. My parents probably thought we had run afoul of something like a bear or a cougar, but they had no idea.
That was about two weeks ago, and we haven't been back in the woods since. Just knowing that those things are in the woods makes us not want to be there after dark. It's a shame because the woods were our spot, our sanctuary, and now it seems tainted. Brian doesn't even leave the house after sunset these days, and Justin looks at the sky when he's walking. Frank says he doesn't really want to talk about it, and I think he's stoned a lot of the time.
I dream about it sometimes, the way that one big red eye looked at me when I shone the flashlight on it, and I can't help but wonder what something that big eats?
I think it will be a good long time before I talk any of them back into the woods, and our camping days may be at an end.

Hello!! I am very bad at reading/understanding people. I’m neurodivergent so I struggle a lot with that. I’ve been recently talking a lot to my classmate from college, and developed a huge crush on him (which sucks). I realized lately that we text a lot. When we first started talking he would answer right away. Now, he takes centuries to answer or respond the second I send a message. In person, he’s very sweet to me. But I can’t tell if he likes me. A lot of people on social media constantly say if “someone doesn’t reply fast, they don’t like you.” He will only text me for something, or if he just wants to talk to me, he would take a while to reply (like a few days). I don’t want to ask him why because I feel like that’s too much, especially since we’re just friends. Please tell me if I’m over analyzing, I’m also very sensitive so I can’t tell.

Hello! I recently returned from my first overnight hospital stay. I was treated very kindly aside from a few hiccups and I was diagnosed with a very rare but manageable neurological condition. I usually deal with my anxiety fairly well as I've been in therapy for a long time, but my stress after getting home has been through the roof and is mirroring my PTSD symptoms at their very worst. Nightmares, inability to calm down, shakes, dissociation, etc and none of my normal coping strategies (meditation, mindfulness, affirmations, logic-based thinking) are helping. I can't really identify what is causing me to feel this way; I just feel "cornered" or "trapped" overall. I was wondering if anyone had similar experiences/ has things they tell themselves to soothe medical anxiety like this? Thank you.