After a never ending series of shitty events I [21f] am going to be homeless. For the past 2 years I've tried to find more permanent living arrangements until I can fix my credit and go to school or become self sustaining. I got kicked out when I was 19 after my mom got upset I was scraping my first car despite the fact it needed at least $10,000 worth of work. When I decided to go through with my plans we got into a fight which led to her chocking me, I got scared, called the cops and left after she told me to get the fuck out.
When I first got kicked out I went to stay with my grandmother until I could make a better plan of action. But with the death of my grandfather and her lack of planning she wasn't going to be able to stay in her house for long. I begged my father to let me stay with him and I even made a reasonable budget so that I could pay bills and still go to school. But he still said no because my budget which was a 70/30 split "wouldn't teach me how to manage my money". I do have cousins I could stay with but our Uncle owns the house they live in and would rather the house be fixed up a bit before I stay there.
Even if I do stay with my cousins every older person in my family thinks I should just "forgive" my mom and go stay with her again. I'd rather have my soul damned a thousand lifetimes over before I ever stay with my mother or any one on her side of my family. No one grabs tpu by the neck and cuts off your airway unless they want to kill you, that is something i will never put past her. So until then I plan to live in my car until me and my boyfriend can figure something out. Advice is welcome. Thank your for reading

Context: I, 25(NB), have worked in a supermarket for the past 5 years. I'm physically disabled and cannot heavy lift, and that + me being a big people person has resulted in me being the stores most experienced customer service employee. I'm also Autistic (Important for later).
Let me tell you about this customer.
Big/Beefy (6'3?), older guy. Comes up to the desk with a gift card & receipt - Says he wants a refund because the gift card is damaged. I look at it, and you know the little bar code with numbers you're supposed to scratch off with a coin? He had peeled it off instead. Easy mistake to make.
Now, our policy is black and white - We cannot refund or exchange gift cards at all. The company whose gift card it is hold that power, in this case, it was a Spotify gift card. However, I try to see if I can compensate the customer if I can. So, I apologize & inform him of our policy, and tell him I'll call over my manager to see if we can figure something out for him.
He says, no, it's damaged and I have the receipt - I want a refund. Again, I remind him of our policy, and that my manager will see what we can do. In the meantime, I inspect the card further, and recognize what he's done. So, while I wait for my manager to arrive, I get a coin from the till and start scratching the code - It was potentially salvageable, and I tell him he might be able to use it after all!
For some reason, this guy just wasn't having it? He started repeating himself, saying, no, I'm saying it's DAMAGED! I mirror back at him, yes, it is damaged, I can see that? (A little confused as to what he wasn't understanding).
At this point, my manager arrives in time to witness the customer stop, stare at me, and go - You're being incredibly rude right now. To which I go.. No, I'm not? I just repeated what you told me, it's damaged. He goes, no, you are being rude, you're saying I damaged it.
Now.. At no point did I say to him that he damaged it, despite it being obviously clear the mistake he'd made. I repeated his own words back to him - "It's damaged" not.. "You damaged it". I didn't accuse him of anything, he jumped to conclusions.
Think it's important to note - I do get accused of being "Rude" sometimes due to my being Autistic. I have resting b*tch face, and a very monotone voice - When I'm not masking, which, I usually am when working, I've been accused on multiple occasions of "Acting/Sounding like a robot". It really sucks, which is why I tend to mask unfortunately at work, so perhaps this is why he thought I was being rude? Continuing..
During this back and forth, my delightfully useless manager interrupts to repeat what I already told the customer regarding our policy. As I'm defending myself, I attempt to tell the customer I was not insinuating anything and didn't mean to offend, however before I can even get the words out, this pig of a man turns back to me, raises his finger to his mouth, and goes: "SHHH!".
HE. SHUSHED. ME.
I was completely shocked. Not only is that insanely disrespectful and totally uncalled for considering I was still trying to help him, but he sprayed spit in my FACE?? EW.
So of course, I go, excuse me??
AND HE DOES IT AGAIN.
I used to be such a pushover when I started.. 5 years ago, something like this would have given me a panic attack. For some reason this time though, I just snapped.
I told him, how dare you disrespect me, what makes you think you can treat people like that? And this time, he actually yelled at me to "Shut up".
My manager, who was standing right there, of course said and did absolutely nothing to defend his 5ft disabled employee from this pathetic excuse for a respectable individual. Because of course.
So, I say, no, no I won't shut up. And you won't be getting a refund, nor being served in this store again - You can leave. I then turned, and called for security on my headset to come back me up.
This idiot then had the gall to scoff and go, "You're seriously calling Security, you lunatic?" And I go, yeah, of course I am, you're harassing me?? Of course he insists he's not harassing me.
Your spit on my damn face begs to differ.
Thankfully, Security came and intimidated him into leaving (lol). I later wrote up an incident report, and security got a recording of the incident too. One of my coworkers later identified him as a repeat thief , which doesn't surprise me.
Sidenote: Same coworker witnessed & assisted in de-escalating the situation, then kept me company while I got some air afterwards. Props to him, he said he was proud of me for standing up for myself, but.. I don't know. I don't feel proud, I feel embarrassed.
I'm just.. So beyond angry with the way I'm treated both by customers like him, and by management who are so incredibly spineless they'd allow jerks like this to keep doing what they do. By the end of it, despite this happening incredibly quickly, I was left physically shaking all over my body from stress - I had to walk away & take 15 minutes to get some fresh air and calm down.
I feel like I very well could have handled this better, but I'm just sick of being treated like this. Guarantee you, he will be back - And there will continue to be no consequences to his actions.
How would you have handled it? Thanks you reading my little rant if you made it this far, curious if anyone else has had a similar incident!

POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING
THIS IS A REALLY LONG POST
Hi.
After 2 years of trying for a 2nd baby, I (37f) became pregnant this past November via IUI on the first try, gratefully. Six weeks later we found out I was carrying twin girls! My husband (37m) and I were beyond shocked and so happy. I always had this idea that the men from my ethnic region only produce boys. I know it sounds nuts but the year my son was born (2021), a bunch of girls I grew up with (whom were the same ethnic background), all were pregnant & expecting baby boys! I was excited that our family would be complete after this pregnancy.
Neither my husband nor I have twins in our families, so this was a new exciting experience for everyone. People were already getting sweet gifts for the girls, my mom knitted two blankets, and my in-laws bought them matching dresses; I was so grateful for everyone for their excitement & joy, and just overall love for our family.
My pregnancy was great. Gratefully I had no morning sickness, the only issue I was having very vivid dreams. With my son, I gained about 100 lbs. & had IUGR so I was determined to stay fit - it took me over 2 years to lose the baby weight and more. I was safely exercising, eating right and just generally taking care of myself, more than the first time. My babies were healthy. I read the twins triplets book, started shopping for some clothes, matching cribs, car seats, & picked a beautiful wallpaper for their nursery. Every doctor, MFM, nurse, sono techs, all said everything was great; absolutely no concerns. Just 2 weeks prior,the pediatric cardiologist said everything was perfect.
Our lives forever changed on April 04, 2024. I was 24w+1d and getting ready to get my nails & eyebrows done, as j was going to host a fun dinner party for my immediate in-laws. I started feeling a little pain in the lower left side of my back, but I figured all was good. With my first, I had a ‘sunny side up’ delivery and it was brutal. All of a sudden, the pain intensified so quickly I was in labor.
My husband called 911 and I got in the ambulance screaming ‘it’s too soon!!! Not my girls!!!’ So many of my neighbors saw& were so concerned.
At 11:32 AM, my baby A popped out. She was already gone the second she came out. She was purple & blue, no cry, no movement…nothing. I kept screaming in the ambulance that she’s out and she’s dead, she’s not moving. It felt like they thought I was just complaining about early contractions & bullshitting. I kept screaming to them & was in such shock. I wished I held her and I will also regret it. There was no one with me while I gave birth. All of them were in the front. My husband was driving separately and I wish I had a person holding my hand.
Four minutes later, my Baby B was born. She actually came out in her sac so I had no idea she was in there or what just came outta me. Both babies were barely one pound. They fit in our palms.
In the ER, it felt like there was 13579 doctors and nurses in there. So many people were trying to talk to me, but I couldn’t stop screaming about my girls. This was probably when they gave a lot of Ativan to chill.
The doctors worked so hard to revive Baby A, but she was gone the second she came into this world. The NICU doctors said without saying it’s time to say goodbye later in the evening. When we went to see her,I thought she was still alive as I was on so much AtivanI was so out of my mind & not being able to accept the reality.
I held her so tight, I kissed her so many times and got to do skin to skin; I was in denial. When she started getting cold, it hit me she was really gone. She became ice cold and I could not believe my baby died.
I never once got to hear her voice. I never got to give her a bath, change a diaper, feed her anything, or put a bow on her head. Don’t know if anyone has ever felt this, but for no reason I just felt closer to Baby A when pregnant. In my head, she was going to be my responsible one, the protector of her siblings. Baby B was going to be my fiesty, hippie-dippy baby. She was protecting her sister.
My OBGYN said my case was the most unusual and rare case she’s ever dealt with, with 40 years under her belt. Why me. God, why me…
By the grace of God, Baby B survived, and the doctors said she survived only bc she came out in her sac. She’s staying in the NICU until she gets to 40 weeks.
I love Baby B. She’s doing so well in the NICU and all of the nurses and doctors always comment on how cute she is, but I think they say that to everyone.
I feel absolutely nothing towards Baby B. I suppose I love her & want her to survive, but I don’t want anything to do with her. I’m completely avoidant…like seeing her & touching her gives me the ick and my skin starts to crawl. She looks so much like her twin and it kills me. We bought my son two baby dolls to introduce him to the idea, so now he says Baby A’s name all the time. I die a little every time that happens. I’m so ashamed that I couldn’t save their sister. I apologize to her every time I see her. I apologize to my son daily too.
I cannot handle this pain. All I do is sit in the bedroom with my sadness. I’ve had a rough upbringing but this pain hits like nothing else. I would go through everything I dealt with everyday if it meant that she’d come back to me. I’ve shut out most of my friends and family and I barely step outside my house. I’m out of control. I drink a bottle of wine & plus some everyday, carving my baby girls name on my skin with a blade, wasting lots of money, and most embarrassingly, I’ve been begging my husband for sex everyday, multiple times a day, and we’re drifting apart bc of it. I’m trying to be respectful of his boundaries but the urge is so strong like a person dealing with a deadly addiction. This is definitely not the usual me.
I don’t know how to handle this pain or generally function in life. I’m going back to work tomorrow and I’m so scared to (virtually) face my colleagues that knows what happened. I can’t face anyone bc I’m so fucking ashamed I couldn’t save her. I apologize to everyone that I broke their excitement and brought sadness into their lives. I gained about 30 lbs. at 24w but then gained another 15 after birth. I hate everything about me.
I am in therapy, have a psychiatrist, and attend support group meetings. I don’t know how to recover from this. I am empty & completely dead inside. My heart is dead and so am I.
If you made it to the end, I sincerely thank you for taking the time to read my story.

Hi everyone! So I just kinda want to get this out of my chest. I have this friend that I have since we were still in junior high (practically best friends and sisters) and we would do everything together. Pampers, attending classes, and just be there for each other. I appreciate and love her so much but sometimes it kinda feels like it's not the same.
I'll start with our friend group (all 20F). They're one of oldest friends and I love them to death. But, I've noticed that when I open up about something they tend to be aloof and not as enthusiastic as others? (May be a stretch and overthinking) then when it's them esp if not problems all earssss I have no problem with that but it feels like a man is required for them to be interesting? And while l'm one to enjoy a chika, it seems like it's all we ever talk about. If we don't, they seem bored?
Then an incident happen when this friend takes jabs at me about how I bail when I can't remember the time that I did? She called me out in the go and it got kind off by it cuz it very??? afaik we were just talking about wanting to go somewhere and it didn't plant through and maybe that's why she thinks I'm tokis? And I've noticed that this isn't the first time. She kind of tends to undermine me and top whatever I/we have to say.
To add to that, I know cancelling a plan is so annoying and we should always come through but she also expressed her tampo when one of our friends cancelled because of a family matter and she ba to ditch her fam just sos he won't tampo and I felt rlly bad I told her she didn't have to come but still did 🥹 I guess maybe she’s just the type to hold a grudge?
Ik l'm not a perfect friend I tend to reply late because I'm also super busy with Uni, not in a good place, but I'm always there for my friends and I'm on call whenever she needs but even then she tends to shrug me off when a guy is there na.
During the last year, I was diagnosed with a mental illness and it was the same as hers and my other friend. It just hurt me because I thought that out of all people she would understand where I was coming from and how it was difficult for me given everything that I went through but l'm not saying this is a reason to bail or hurt your friends. Never do that pls!!
Recently, we found out this guy she's with is a cheater. Actually, this is like the 2nd/3rd time she's been caught? But she forgave him because she thinks it will get better. I'm not really sure about that but I wanna be supportive and all but I just know that guy isn't good for her given her condition. And she's been kinda distant with us too. I know that's how it gets when u get a bf but heyy we're here too :‹ I'm always gonna be here for her no matter what ofc but it all kind of feels draining?
Now, I realize all of this just probably comes from my overthinking and anxiety but I just really want to let it out the meds gets me emotional af HAHSHSSH sorry if this is all ka kalat I just wrote in freestyle alaksjsj
I love my friend and I hope she'll realize her worth soon and I hope we can attend another class together just like the old times. I miss her (omgajhas why am I suddenly crying writing this?!?!?') BAHAHSHS anyways thank you guys for reading this! and take care during this heat 🥵

And he's angry as fuck and has said good luck on finding a better quality of life than I have now and that it's wrong to do this to our daughter (paraphrasing). That she will have a terrible life having parents who are split up and be "in therapy at 16" over it. He's partially right - It will be nearly impossible to afford to live on my own. The cost of living where we are is insane.
My brain feels like mush. I'm trying to trust my gut. I've already tried explaining my feelings as clear as I can, calmly, I feel like i'm talking in circles and he just isn't getting it. He's been defensive from the start and now when I called him out on attempting to manipulate me and guilt me, he scoffed at me and said "ok psychoanalyst". He's now taken off with friends to go fishing, clear his head whatever while i'm sitting on the floor with our daughter wondering what the fuck i've just done.
Please am I being fucking crazy are these his true colors? My entire nervous system is screaming at me right now, again. (part of my reasoning for suggesting seperating) but yet here I sit feeling fucking awful and full of doubt and trying to justify why he's reacting this way... that it must be due to his own traumas, attachment style, etc.

Hello. I have been watching a lot of YouTube videos and reading stuff on Reddit regarding the carnivore diet. Here are some questions I have.
Question 1: I'm not overweight and don't have any autoimmune issues. My biggest "illness" is depression and passive suicidal ideology. I want to start carnivore for mostly mental, not physical reasons. Is it worth it to treat depression? Or should i try alternative, less extreme diets?
Question 2: I don't know too much about electrolytes, sodium, potassium, magnesium, and such. Do any carnivores not worry about these things? Or should you always try to supplement? If so, what is the easiest/cheapest way to ensure I don't get ketogenic flu?
Question 3: How is exercise on the diet? I've heard some people say they feel weaker and some say they feel stronger. Would it affect my gains?
Question 4: Would it be okay to slowly transition, or is it better to go all out when starting? I'm thinking of eating normally for breakfast and lunch, while keeping dinner fully carnivore. I want to do this until I have a handful of go to recipes when I go all out. Are there any downsides? I'm wondering if this will increase the chance of a heart attack or something. I know the consensus is that red meat and butter doesn't clog artieries and cause heart failure,, but I'm wondering if that still persists with sugar and processed foods in the diet.
Thanks!

A while back someone asked for a writeup I did a while ago on the SCP Foundation and the Technocracy. I couldn't reply to the original post, so here's a new one.
Found it. Here you go.
SCP Foundation- The sorcerers of the Technocracy. As the world continues to progress towards disaster, and the loss of so many high ranking Technocrats to the Avatar Storm, the time has come for these techno-sorcerers to shine. While lacking in raw power perhaps, their immunity to paradox is of the utmost importance in areas where statistical inevitability is unacceptable. As a result, the SCP foundation has been created. For those familiar with the standard SCP, in this reality, they still secure,contain and protect under the supervision of the O5 Council, however this O5 Council is compromised of Awakened members of the Technocracy, who, although they still monitor their charges for signs of Awakening, otherwise read their after action reports and let them do their work, taking a hands off approach in this age of TAMURDs, NAMURDs and truces.
There are three approaches to how this amalgamation- White Hat, Grey Hat, Black Hat.
White Hat
White Hat assumes the Technocracy is genuinely cares about humanity and is concerned about what it is doing to the planet in a general sense. Furthermore, they are more genuine than not with respect to their efforts to mend fences with the Council of Nine- the Progroms and overall hostility associated with the Technocracy was a facet of Control,whom they have lost contact with(although there are still infrequent though serious attempts to reestablish contact with Control, most of the more nefarious aspects of the Technocracy are stranded behind the Avatar Storm/Dimensional Anomaly as they have been absorbed by Control). Social Conditioning is (usually) aimed at rehabilitative therapies and hovers around levels 1 to 3, with 4 to 6 being seen as...distasteful, and 7 and up being seen as going overboard. Room 101, however, is reserved for complete and total fuckups. The SCP itself is overseen by the Technocracy as a whole, and is the face of the truce as they give the Technocracy a chance focus on bigger fish than the Potters. In the other direction, the SCP itself knows little of the Technocracy just as how the average member of the SCP knows little of the O5 Council; however, the amount of magical, magickal, Enlightened and unEnlightened Procedures means that there are more opportunities for the little fish of the SCP to learn just how big of an Awakened ocean they are in, usually by accident.
Grey Hat
Grey Hat assumes the Technocracy is concerned about humanity in general and is upset about what they are doing to the planet, but believe they have things more or less under control. This approach is closer to "standard" M20, with a few caveats. The Technocracy is not especially interested in mending fences with the Council of Nine as most agree with Control that Reality Deviants are dangerous and are best opposed, but very much disagree with even that hoary amalgamated individual on the form that opposition should take- the Pogrom was distasteful at best, an outrageous embarrassment at worst, an overall a heavy handed and clumsy approach best left in the past(although there are still regular, active attempts to reestablish contact with Control). No, no, these "mages" are best outdone through subtlety, not eliminated through oafish wetwork. After all, the Masses like the comforts of modern technology and are moving along with the Time Table. In approach, the Technocracy makes heavy use of the SCP to tie down dangers to their paradigm while they continue to move the Time Table forward. The Traditions and others are outdated and a non-threat, and working with them on occasion through the SCP has only proven the weakness of "magical" paradigms overall. Social Conditioning is used regularly, although anyone over level 5 is seen an overzealous and potentially dangerous individual. Room 101 is rarely used internally(that's what the higher levels of Social Conditioning are for), but instead are reserved dangerous Reality Deviants. The SCP is overseen by the Technocracy in a very general sense, as they are more a tool used by the Technocracy to keep moderately dangerous but still useful Reality Deviants anything from busy to under wraps. They are occasionally used as a weapon against them, but this is rare as the SCP is more like a blunt instrument that can occasionally free up resources(i.e Mobile Task Forces sent in before any enlightented agents are used) than a scalpel for sensitive work(although they are occasionally called upon to do just that) or even a reliable sidearm.
Black Hat
The Technocracy is upset with humanity and what they are doing to the planet directly. The Technocracy is further dismayed by the loss of Control and is actively and regularly attempting to restablish contact while keeping the last orders received going (i.e. the Pogrom) although at a lower rate due to the lack of raw might(lost a lot of HIT Marks and the like due to the Dimensional Anomaly). The Technocracy are very much the "bad guys" of the setting, with the Ascention Truce being a project funded and staffed by the Friends of Courage, Cassandra Complex, Void Engineers, and Challenge Fate Foundation exclusively- a glimmer of light within the dark. The Technocracy only works with the Traditions through the SCP, and even then on rare occasion. Social Conditioning is used regularly, with anyone under level 3 being distrusted as well as consigned to the most menial tasks (and continually encouraged to be processed to increase loyalty). Levels 4 through 6 are seen as not particularly bad, at 7 and 8 someone must have done SOMEthing to be at that level(depends on the individual's reputation), while 9 and 10 are seen as...distasteful. Room 101 is used regularly for both Unmutual Technocrat and Tradition "recruit" alike, along with a handful of unlucky souls outside of either extreme deemed too useful to simply eliminate. Despite their relatively low place on the totem pole, the SCP Foundation is the only way a Technocrat can interact with the Council in anything approaching peace offically(and if unofficial, they better not get caught, or it's either "be seeing you..." or a quick ride in the 6th seat to 101-ville). Otherwise, the SCP Foundation is something between a distraction and an utterly disposable weapon, used to keep Reality Deviants that may or may not be affiliated with the Council of Nine tied down until they can be dealt with in a more permanent fashion.
Clearance level-
In White Hat games, clearance level is equal to a character's Social Conditioning +1. In Grey Hat games it is equal to Social Conditioning, and in Black Hat games it is Social Conditioning -1.
SCP Overall Goals
White Hat Secure, Contain, Protect, with each part of the organization working harmoniously to achieve their goals. Technosorcery in humanity's interest, Technosorcery in the Technocracy's interest, Containing Reality Deviants, Communicating With Reality Deviants, Working With Reality Deviants.
Grey Hat Secure AND Contain, and in emergency situations, these two disparate portions of the organization combine to form Protect. Technosorcery in the Technocracy's interest, Containing Reality Deviants, Eliminating Reality Deviants.
Black Hat Secure OR Contain OR Protect with each aspect of the organization not really aware of the other. Technosorcery in the Technocracy's Interest, Cleaning up the aftermath of Reality Deviants, Communicating With Reality Deviants(often unaware), Eliminating Reality Deviants(often used as cannon fodder).
D Class Personnel
White Hat In a White Hat game, almost all D Class Personnel are death row inmates or other people tried and found guilty of horrific crimes- and the majority of them actually are guilty. Some find themselves as D Class Personnel for purely political reasons, but these are usually given comparitively light duties when the SCP is aware of their circumstances- these folks end up caring for up to moderately dangerous creatures/missions. A few are clones. The vast majority are given mundane medical treatment when things go wrong, some recieve medical unEnlightened Procedures, a rare few enjoy medical Enlightened Procedures when a major fuck up occurs outside of everyone's control.
Grey Hat Death row inmates, violent felons, sociopaths, and more can be found in the uniform, some of them are actually guilty of what they have been accused of. Political prisoners from countries that have undergone a change in management are also unfortunately swept up in it all, and while these are usually given light to moderate duties, death and dismemberment are a real possibility. Mundane medical treatment is common, but not guaranteed. Medical unEnlightened Procedures are almost unheard of.
Black Hat Prison - and other- "volunteers" of all stripes, although their skills are considered heavily before recruitment. No small amount are here for political reasons, including failed and processed Technocrat and Tradition mages, demoted SCP staff, unaware college students who sign up for a mysterious "study", homeless and other people who have no options. Duties of all types are equally feasible, dismemberment is commonplace, death happens. Medical treatment is infrequent at best.
Mobile Task Forces
White Hat Usually consist of highly trained mundane forces with sorcerers leading the fire teams. Rarely disbanded. Used frequently with an eye towards securing, containing, and protecting, will also investigate regularly as well. Have a lot of specialized units as well as equipment- some of it is even anomalous.
Grey Hat Usually consist of adequately trained mundane forces with sorcerers sometimes leading fire teams. Sometimes disbanded after use, often called in to secure(entry points), and protect(people who may be exposed to unsuual things), but rarely do containment(this is for the Technocracy proper). Also rarely if ever, used for investigative purposes.- this is usually left to sorcerous agents. Have standard weaponry, only team leaders use high or heavy weaponry. Have a modest amount of specialized units and equipment, a few are anomalous.
Black Hat Usually consist of modestly trained mundane forces, with the leaders often being the genuine article but sometimes not having much more training than those they lead. Teams are regularly disbanded and recreated with new leadership. Those who survive missions are sometimes "promoted" to D Class Personnel, or retired (read: liquidated), especially if wounded. Always called upon to secure both sites and individuals, often as cannon fodder. Rarely protect others, never do containment but often do cleanup. Have modest mundane weaponry, rarely if ever get access to high or heavy mundane weaponry, none are anomalous. Have a small amount of specialized units, but most teams are recruited from "promoted" D-Class Personnel and are used as shock troops akin to a suicide squad.
SCP Ethics Department
White Hat Regularly makes use of after action reports to ensure the organization is maintaining high levels of ethics, if not morality(which is still taken seriously). After action reports are reviewed by O5 council regularly. Mistreatment of Mobile Task Forces and D Class Personnel is seen as unacceptable but sacrifices are sometimes necessary. Particularly unethical organization members are dismissed(fired), reassigned or demoted to D-Class Personnel(rarely). Ethical organization members are viewed favorably for promotion.
Grey Hat Occasionally makes use of after action reports to make sure the organization is more ethical than not. Morality is rarely considered. After action reports are often reviewed by the O5 Council. Mistreamtent of Mobile Task Forces is seen as a waste of resources and is frowned upon; mistreatment of D-Class Personnel is seen as an embarrassment; sacrifices are a necessary part of the job but only when they provide results. Particuarly unethical members of the program re resassigned if redeemable or faced with a bad situation, demoted to D Class Personnel if not. Ethical foundation members are sometimes promoted if skilled, but usually kept where they are.
Black Hat Sometimes makes use of after action reports to ensure actions are acceptable. Morality is nice, but excessive morality is seen as a hindrance. After action reports are reviewed by the O5 Council if a mission goes bad. Mistreamtent of Mobile Task Forces and D Class Personnel is left up to the individual reviewing the after action report, with Challenge Fate Foundation taking the hardest line and the Void Engineers being more accepting of losses- omelettes and eggs.

So I recently finished the original trilogy for the first time and while I enjoyed the books a lot, I found the ending very underwhelming. I wouldn’t necessarily post about it normally, since I’ve seen a few other posts saying the same, but I’ve found that my reasons are different from most.
I’ve seen a lot of people saying that they didn’t like how the magical elements were handled and how the stuff with the mages wasn’t explained or resolved super well. That’s true I guess, but it didn’t bother me. What I didn’t like about the ending was how it handled the themes and the characters.
Looking back on the trilogy, if I had to say what the biggest overarching theme seems to be, I’d say there are two: power is a force of destruction, and positive change (personally or societally) is impossible. The first of those is potentially compelling, but the second I find borders on angst for its own sake. And I feel as if it’s seen in practically every character.
Glokta faces no repercussions and never truly grapples with his actions.
Jezal fails to stand up to Bayaz and the improvement in his marriage is based on a cruel lie.
Logen is a horrible tyrant and was naive to believe otherwise.
West dies pointlessly and never overcomes or even meaningfully engages with his anger issues, which go nowhere.
I realize that there’s nuance, and that I’m being slightly reductive. I also recognize that tragedy is a thing, and that stories that are unsatisfying narratively can still be thematically impactful. But I don’t think this is an example of that.
It feels like Abercrombie took “grimdark” to mean that there can be no hope for the world. I think ASOIAF is a great example of how to tell a grimdark story with real nuance and complex themes that go beyond “life’s a bitch and then you die.” This feels like a story that learned the wrong lesson from those books, and tried to mirror them (and others like them) in a way that missed the point.
I guess to sum up, I had hoped that all of the horrible things that happened would add up to something more meaningful and complex than nihilism. And I really don’t think they did.

First time asking for help but using another account since I use the same username for everything. I’m currently crying in a random park parking lot.
I (f27) and my Boyfriend (m31)have been together for four years as of last Sunday.
Up until yesterday we were living with his parents. However his mother is very verbally abusive and a narcissist, so after a particularly bad fight that even made my Boyfriend tear up a bit(which is rare) I told him we need to leave so we can stay somewhere better until we find a place. So I asked my mother if she’d be okay if we crash there while looking for a place to rent and explained why.
My mother being the sweet person she is said yes. I told my BF she said yes and he agreed we’d leave. So over the course of threeish weeks we packed everything we own into a small storage unit and showed up at my moms with the bare minimum like; his computer, my PlayStation, clothes, the dog, some things he needed to drop off at his job, and our mattresss things like that.
Even though my mom’s home is bigger it’s still at max capacity. My parents, my grandparents and my two brothers, so we are sleeping in a spare room that’s oddly shaped and the closet (which is the start of my problem) has stuff in it that mom said she can’t put anywhere else.
Now the issue; My BF was upset and probably a little overwhelmed and got mad that we weren’t able to use the closet. So I moved things around and made room for him and I told him I’m okay just putting my stuff on the floor. After I said that he suddenly got mad.
He started saying that he didn’t like feeling unwanted and felt like I wasn’t sticking up for him when he stuck up for me when we lived with his parents. I was confused about what he meant by me not sticking up for him when all I’ve ever done was stick up for him to his mom and help him get out of an extremely toxic household.
He started roughly putting things in boxes and separating things. He then shoved a bunch of his stuff in his car and said he’s taking them to stay at his work because he wants his things to be out of sight out of mind since he isn’t wanted. I kept asking why he thinks he’s unwanted and he just kept saying “look around, they don’t want us here”
At this point I was crying and confused cause it honestly looked like he was leaving me. I told him he just needs to calm down and let’s just take things slow. That seemed to irritate him more. I told him that it feels like he’s leaving me and I really just need him to calm down cause he was starting to scare me a bit.
He said that I should have had a plan and more money in savings before we did this and that I shouldn’t have taken us on an anniversary trip thatwe were planning and saving for for months. He also hinted that he didn’t want to go on a camping trip with his friends this weekend. Something I told he should go on so he can relax for a weekend and not think about his parents and moving.
He’s mad at me because I won’t push harder to empty out closet. He said he feels like he can’t talk to me because I always start crying. I can’t help that I’m emotional it’s something I’ve struggled with a lot since childhood.
When I told my parents the my bf said he didn’t feel wanted he then called me upset that I’m letting people in our business.and that they don’t want to help they just want to know what’s going on and be nosy.
I’m already stressed with a potential new job, trying to find an affordable place to live working my normal job and trying to get us somewhere where we can sleep at night and not worry about his mom picking fights for no reason. So Reddit am I the asshole? I know we both aren’t good at communicating but I don’t know what else to do.

So I had my C&P exam last week for tinnitus, and I want to say it went well. Lady was nice, asked lots of questions, didn't seem dismissive, or condescending like I have heard about some other contractors. We talked about my military service, my deployments, work conditions, what I hear, is it in both ears, if it's constant, how it affects me, and all that stuff. She used and followed the C&P tinnitus intake form checklist making sure we hit all the questions and areas. I also took a hearing test and a speech recognition test and some kind of other ear pressure test. In all it took about 45 minutes. She then said she will things done on her end by the end of day and the rest would be up to the VA. So I am hoping that I will get a positive finding.
So now, as for the effective date, my original claim for tinnitus was denied with my original packet that was submitted at my retirement physical in 2014 which was submitted by the VA. As I said the tinnitus was denied but I was granted other things and I ended up with 40%, which at the time being green and unknowing, I was happy with. It was originally denied but cause they said there was no military causation, I never claimed to have it or complained about tinnitus, and there was never a diagnosis. Bummed about the tinnitus because I do have it and it's just gotten worse since then but I was like no worries, I will submit my appeal as instructed in my packet within the year.
Moving forward months, I submitted my appeal, and it was being reviewed. Forward a few more months I was sent a notification that the VA was moving to a new and faster appeals process called RAMP, which was supposed to be faster or you could stay in the old legacy system. So I elected to get moved into the RAMP system for which I later got a notification that my appeal was now in the new system. Forward a few more month, my claim status changed from being reviewed to being "closed." The message said something to the effect of, "you have elected to move to the RAMP program yada, yada, yada, and this appeal is now closed." there was additional fine print wording stating, "while this appeal is now closed it does not mean that it has been decided and it may still be under review, or open, if you have any questions call the 1-800 number. Again being young and new to all of this I just assumed it was closed and denied so I went on with my life.
Forward to the present, knowing what I know now I was thinking how I never received an actual denial letter, which they always send you if it's denied. Well I never got one, so I went back, checked the status and it still said the same thing, so I said fuck it and I called the number. I talked to the representative and told him that I was curious about my appeal that I filed back in like 2015 for tinnitus. I told him that I was curious about my appeal cause I never received any official documents say that my appeal was either denied or approved. He put me on hold and came back and said, yes sir that claim is still active and still being reviewed. I said are you serious, I said that was back in 2015, were in 2024 now. he said yes sir it shows you were moved to RAMP and its still open its still in the review process and hasn't been decided yet. So I asked him, ok well I have the supporting evidence for my claim to counter the reason for the original denial, how can I submit the evidence. So he told me to file a supplemental claim and how to do it and attache it to my appeal. Within a week I had a C&P scheduled.
Personally, and the way he was talking and making it sound, my appeal got lost in the system which makes sense cause I do not see how it should have take this long.
So my question is, if my tinnitus gets approved, my original claim was in 2014, appeal was done in 2015, claim stayed dormant from 2015-2024, I then filed a supplemental claim,(new but existing evidence from my STR's that they missed or ignored in the original claim which now trigged a C&P, was never given a C&P for tinnitus, just a hearing test upon retirement) So with all that said, would my tinnitus claim if won, have an effective date of 2014? Do you think they may approve the % increase but find a way to get out of paying back pay and say there was an error therefore my effective date is 2024?
If the additional 10% is granted with a 2014 effective date the pay out would be over 100k.

I’m on week 1 of our watch for our AU kiddo, and I LOVE a lot about this watch. But there’s a good bit I hope to see improved in the near future. I opted for the most expensive monthly plan (min 3 mos) before we go all in.
So far, I really like that the watch is EXCLUSIVLEY a GPS watch with calling and texting. No internet, no social media, no radio… and no games. There are timers, a calculator, voice memos, and kid-quality photos and videos (which suits our needs). It’s interesting enough to keep our kid’s interest, but doesn’t have risks or distractions most others do. 🙌
The watch band was a breeze to change (didn’t require a pin tool), and the straps actually are tight enough to fit my petite kid’s wrist. There’s still some kinks to work out, and tomorrow we really put it to the test.
Overall, I’m very happy with it. I have quite a few questions still, and a “wish list” of recommendations for the company to consider. I’m waiting on a reply for an update to fix the problematic GPS, which still worries me. I’ll try to update once we use it more. If you use the watch, please share your tips for a newbie like me. Hope my thoughts and questions below are helpful to some, and I’d love Cosmo to take some of these suggestions to heart if possible. Overall, a GREAT product for our needs! —— ❓QUESTIONS❓
WATER RESISTANCE 🏊: - why must you advise against swimming if it’s IP68? To be IP68 it needs to be at least one meter deep for at least 30 mins (COULD be between 30 mins and 4 hours.) Why shouldn’t a kid in floaties wear it if only swimming for about a half an hour? - my issue is, I don’t EVER want my kid to take their watch off without me there, ever. If they swim for 30 mins at camp, she’s losing it, or forgetting it in her bag or elsewhere…
ADDITIONAL WARRANTY: - I was excited to be offered this when activating our watch. For something like 2.99/mo we have extra insurance against water damage, damage, theft/loss! - how does this work? Is there a deductible or any “watch outs”? Is it via Cosmo or a 3rd party? (Does anyone have any experiences to share?)
GPS - it’s pretty glitchy, and “lost” my kid for something like 2 hours and TOTALLY missed her two hours at school… — it saw her leave home, then nothing while on her way to school (at all), and NEVER saw her at school (at all), only to “find” her hours later at the afterschool program. 😳 — what’s worse, I COULD see MYSELF in the cosmo app when I was at school with her! So, my VZN phone (even in semi dead zone) saw me in the guardian app, but never my child. - THIS IS VERY CONCERNING, but I hear Cosmo is aware of it and planning an update to the Guardian App (?) to fix this… 🤔 (isn’t the issue that the GPS on the watch wasn’t working, not the app, since it’s also not in her history?)
SYNCING/Real Time Changes not Updating: -when I turn off, or adjust the time for a “school mode”, it does not update on her watch. How can I push an update to it flashes to match the admin settings? —this has been a big issue. I suddenly NEED to message my kid, and I’d left it on school mode. I turn it off, but the watch never recognizes the change.
SOS MODE: - it CANNOT be turned off? (Only auto after 15 min timeout?) - how can we allow the child to text at least in SOS mode? (This was a big complaint on many forums from people encouraging others to stay away from Cosmo, because they felt SOS handicapped access and in the event GPS isn’t tracking right, there’s no way to help or communicate with the child.) - Will SOS mode work while in school mode?
GROUP TEXTING: -We have 3 guardians. I sent a group text from my iPhone, and it looked like it worked. But on her watch, it ONLY showed as from me(mom). How do I get group texts to actually work as group texts on her phone?
BATTERY LIFE: - does WiFi hurt or help battery life? - is there a power reserve mode if needed?
——-
🙏🏻 REQUESTS 🙏🏻
PLEASE IMPROVE THE ACCURACY AND REFRESH RATE OF THE GPS (super important, see issue above)
ALLOW “RECENT” EMOJIS & PRESETS: can you program a future update to “remember” the most recently used presets and emojis, like a phone does? So they don’t have to scroll down a million times accidentally clicking the wrong items along the way? (My kid says it’s too hard to type a text, so only uses the voice memo to reply. She’s right, it’s clunky…) —ideally, she could talk-text but that’s probably too sophisticated and requires a “Siri” like tool.
WE NEED MORE MODES: We need more modes on the watch. —We need a “bedtime” mode - where nothing works except maybe texts/calls to guardians (it’s clunky to set TWO extra school modes for AM and PM, but that blocks ALL contacts and features.) - please KEEP school mode, I think this is a great feature! - we need a DND or Study Mode, that the adult OR child can turn on (but PARENTS MUST BE ABLE TO OVERRIDE IF NEEDED), so they’re not disturbed while attending something like: church, sports practice, studying
ADD GUARDIAN ACCESS TO CONTENT: - give guardians access content on the watch, like all the silly voice memos, selfies, etc. remotely? - allow guardians the option to see what is being said between “contacts”? - how will guardians know when their kid has filled up their watch storage with too many blurry selfies and silly voice clips? - PLEASE enable guardian control over settings like volume, vibration, etc… —- and add these controls as options within each “MODE” (we need more modes, see below)
LISTEN IN: (controversial, I know… hear me out) - we need a way to listen in, outside of the SOS (BUT AGAIN, I feel you really NEED to ALSO enable communication DURING and SOS, it’s a huge hindrance and reason for avoidance from many parents on AU forums… 😉) —the LISTEN IN feature should NOT be built into the school mode. (This is because it’s a privacy violation for some… hear me out…) —- INSTEAD: you need to enable a guardian to listen in (discretely, without the watch face making it obvious, and without the guardian’s voice being heard), SO a parent can listen in if their child is as a PUBLIC place (park, field, public transportation) - where there are NO PRIVACY RIGHTS/expectations/risks/etc., but so we can know our special needs child is safe, around safe people and making safe choices in PUBLIC places. —- NOTE: obviously, there ARE other watches that offer the listen in: namely AngelCare, TickTalk, Spysite, etc… Just make sure you maintain encrypted channels for “listen in” or “live listening”, AND, make your PRIVACY policy crystal clear. (There are trusted companies and magazines who now encourage people to buy alternatives to Angel merely because Angel Watch doesn’t have a “posted privacy” policy… I guess people assume that means they’re listening in, storing, etc… which is unlikely and gross.) ——-BUT, we do NEED a listen in option or “auto answer” guardian controlled setting for when they’re in a public place and we aren’t entirely sure they’re being adequately supervised or safe.
LOCKING BAND: - we need a locking band option for special needs kiddos who may take the watches off, or be bullied and have them taken off of them. - these exist and are available for other watches (including Angel Watch), and the hardware looks cheap if you buy it by the 100 qty on Alibaba. Sadly, I just need one. - similar watches with this security feature (which is standard if you opt into your local police’s program, but they use a non-removable bracelet or anklet… so those with autism, Dimentia, etc. cannot take them off.) - GPS watches offering these include Angel Watch, Tranquil, Theora, EO5 in Asia, etc.) Theirs seem made for the standard 20mm silicone strap, so I’d love to see this as an add-on. 👉It could be a real differentiator and alllw Cosmo to market themselves to those on ASD who elope, or those with Alzheimer’s or dimentia…😉 Will add photos if I can in comments…

Only made this account to bring this up. Exactly what the title says, lately I (NB 23) have been feeling more and more disconnected from family even though they have treated me well. I've grown up with mom, dad, and two brothers. I haven't really gotten to know any other family members well since we had to move out while I was very young due to my parents studying chiropractic while making ends meet, so it's really just been us 5 for the majority of my life. During this time, I was diagnosed with autism and my mom in particular was doing her best to handle it well. By the time I was 4, I spoke my first words which gave her a sigh of relief but she's made it clear to me time and time again that I've brought particular difficulty into the challenge of raising three children.
Each of my family members have made it difficult for me to want to keep in touch with them for different reasons. My younger brother was very much to himself his whole life, not really talking to me and my older brother much. When he did talk, it would always be to make fun of something about us or to brag about how he has done better than us at a younger age, usually regarding making money. It has been difficult to talk to him about anything not related to himself, though I'd say it's the least harmful of the bunch.
Then there's my older brother. He's done everything: always trying to steal my friends, threatening/bullying me in school, almost drowning me in a pool because "I wasn't playing his game correctly", and keeping me in his room for at least 2 hours at least one day in the week so he can talk all about himself with no interruptions, among many more things. He's apologized about some of these acts, at least the drowning thing was one of them, but it's hard to take him seriously when he also is transphobic and was resistant to my coming out as nonbinary.
I don't really know too much about dad. He's never ditched us or anything, but he's pretty resistant to affection and didn't really talk to me much growing up. There was a lot of tension between him and mom because of their conflicting personalities, with the topic of divorce always prevalent since I was at least 6 until it happened in 10th grade. Only when I graduated high school did he start talking to me more often, and it was then that I received my first genuine hug from him. He also had a coming out story as homosexual, which inspired my coming out years after, though after this the way he talked about mom had an antagonistic spin always relating to this coming out. He feels like a completely different person, from someone who barely wanted to talk to me to now having a lot to say about mom, and it feels difficult to make a connection with him given how late into my life he decided to finally properly join.
The most conflicting situation is mom. With dad not being too present, she's done everything in her power to be the parental figure that we looked up to. She's done great in many respects: being there for us, encouraging our interests, and all that good stuff. When the times were good, she was good. But when the times got rough, things changed. On multiple occasions, she's assured me that out of the three of us, I was the toughest due to my autism. While my brothers got praise for Bs in school, I would be in trouble if I got below 95. She tended to pay more attention to my brothers than to me; this was typically realized as more praise, more gifts, more opportunities (the younger one gets to have mom's house all to himself, the older one gets to stay with dad, but I had to move out or "merit my stay at their place via grades"). Whenever my other brothers were having trouble with work/classes, she would move the world for them; when I did, "it's just studying, you have no excuse!" When I came out, her initial response was that "I was just confused" and that "You're still a guy, just a feminine one". It's taken some time but she doesn't make those comments as much, but even these days she still accepts the idea that "misgendering is not a big deal given that I appear masculine". She also holds very traditional family ideologies, and is constantly forcing me into family events to "be a true family member". To the point where recently she's bought a ticket for me to visit family without my consent and when I try to make plans with friends to offset the surprise, she reacts by attempting to add extra days to the trip so that it "makes up for the time with friends".
Even with all this, they're triying their best to be a family. To my knowledge there's been nothing outstandingly bad that's taken place, and most of the harm was not intentional. The younger brother just prefers to be by themselves, dad has trouble showing affection, and mom is doing her best. Not sure what's going on with the older brother, but I wanna give him the benefit of the doubt and say that not everything is intentional. I understand that dysfunctional families are more common than functional ones, but at this point I don't even feel as a part of this familial community. At times it really does feel like these 4 are a family and I'm just... there. I don't even know if this is a group of people I wanna (re)-connect with. It would be nice to have some person from outside give their take on how I should go about this, if I am to go about this, since I'm having trouble letting my negative experiences with them go.

15th: Randy Bailey 1.0 (Gabon - 8th)

my pookie randy bailey
u/SMC0629:
I LOVE Randy 1.0. Gabon is a great season, and there's so many characters that you could argue for the top spot. For me though, it'd be Randy. The dude's hilarious, and he's a villain that you love to hate. However, similar to Scot, there's moments that really make you sympathize with him and make you even want to root for him. He's super compelling, but even more entertaining, love Randy, so happy he made endgame.
~
u/DryBonesKing:
Randy is a bitter, bitter old man, and that’s also why he’s one of the best casting choices Survivor has ever managed to find. It almost feels like a waste that Survivor had been sitting on this guy for years each time he applied, but it was definitely for the best that they ended up bringing him onto Gabon. Randy slots in so well to pretty much any narrative role he needs to be in. Whether it’s the borderline “only sane man” role he fills in pre-swap Fang, to being another cog in the Onion Alliance of Kota (and a much needed personality increase that alliance needed), to just a pedantic asshole in the second swap Fang, to just being a bitter fuckhead in his boot episode. He’s just a very versatile character able to fit whatever role he is needed for, but in a way that still feels consistent to who he is – a fucking asshole who hates everyone.
He's crucial to liking Gabon, as he just embodies the spirit of the season in my opinion as this negative force that just has plenty of hate for everyone. Even his own friends aren’t safe from his wrath, like Matty when the two get into the pettiest argument of all time in the episode nine reward challenge. He has one of the most satisfying boot episodes of all time, as well as just one of the funniest. I’m also a huge fan of his jury voting confessional, where he just helps Gabon come together with seven simple words: “All three of you, kiss my ass!” He's hilarious and I do love his relationship with the majority of the cast, with his dynamic with Sugar, Susie, and Crystal deserving the most praise in my eyes, especially with how they outlast him.
But I do think even beyond just the humor and negativity, he’s just a miserable human being in a way that feels very painful. He’s just a very lonely person and it does manifest in how he interacts with others, and I think it gives a certain sadness to the way he treats others and also the way he is treated. It really helps give him a unique tone that I think Survivor really hasn’t been able to accomplish with villains; a simultaneous feeling where you root for his downfall but also root for him. Root for him to find happiness, even though if Randy read that sentence, he’d probably tell me “He doesn’t want my pity” before telling me to go kill myself. And like… I don’t know, I really fuck with that energy. Randy’s a 10/10 for me and it’s a testament to the rest of the people who made Endgame I don’t have him higher than this. I really hope Survivor is one day able to find someone with even half of Randy’s energy.
Overall Rank – 58/821
~
u/Zanthosus:
I’m not as big on Randy as others if I’m being completely honest. One of my biggest issues with Gabon as a season is that so much of the cast is just so overly-negative constantly to the point that it puts me in a bad mood watching it and becomes a slog to get through. Randy, to his credit, at least has a lot of fun in his negativity that others like Corinne, Kenny, Charlie, Paloma, and various others don’t. I still do appreciate his role on the season, and even enjoy his presence to an extent, but I’ve never been able to fully get on board with him being endgame, and especially not better than Sugar.
~
u/Tommyroxs45:
Randy is probably my spirit animal of Survivor. Just a grumpy old man who hates everything and everyone, but there is such an amazing story there and such an amazing character that makes him a top 10 character for me. Also the fact that he literally has one of the best episodes of all time, his boot episode which is just *mwah* chefs kiss.
~
u/Regnisyak1:
One of my best-kept secrets this rankdown was I don’t like Randy very much. Objectively, Randy has a great story, but something about him never landed for me while watching Gabon. I think he helps make that season more negative than it should be, and I feel like even though Randy was a monstrous dick, no one deserves the downfall he got, and I think it was just unnecessarily cruel. That being said, Randy is a quote machine, and watching the cranky old man on the season did contribute, and he had great relationships throughout, especially with Sugar, Crystal, Bob, Marcus, and others. Plus his leaving Fang and getting his mohawk were all funny.
Personal Rank: 100/821. 8/10.
~~~~~
u/ninjedi1:
Randy Bailey 1.0 (8th Place, Gabon)
Randy, in my humble opinion, might be the best Survivor villain of all time in terms of entertainment. He has a great story of slowly becoming a massive dick throughout the season before getting an ultimate downfall. Right at the start of the season he says his job is a videographer, and then cuts to a confessional of him saying how he edits wedding videos for a living, but isn’t a positive person, hates marriage, and will never get married. Randy ends up on Fang but isn’t entirely his full blown asshole self yet, at least with his tribe. In his confessionals he lets his tribemates have it, like saying how Gillian is annoying and hasn’t accomplished anything, or saying how the GC’s best decision as leader was resigning from the leadership position. However, when he interacts with his tribemates, he’s more reserved and friendly, like joking about being full when offered a grasshopper to eat, or him not really giving his opinion on the first vote when asked by Matty.
However, the reservness slowly goes away as time passes, as he gets more and more annoyed with the Fang tribe. When they start running low on rice and start to pitch that they need to eat less, which annoys GC and they get into an argument about it. This leads t oRandy to decide that his plan is to just sit and watch the team fall apart. That’s not even the end of the rice saga as Randy brings it up again that they’re low on rice and need to ration it better, but knows that Crystal, GC, and Kenny aren’t listening to him at all. The more dickish Randy slowly starts to make his appearance, and he ends up forming an alliance with Dan, Matty, and Susie, allowing him to be in control of Fang, but that quickly changes due to the swap.
The first tribe swap of the season happens where they have to vote on who the most important members of the tribe were and rank accordingly (and you can actually see Randy’s board where he ranks Susie above GC and Ken, based) and Randy actually scores pretty high, placing 3rd on Fang. He gets taken into Kota along with Dan and Susie, and knows that he needs to fit in or else he might get voted out. Luckily for Randy, most of the original Kota hates Fang, and since Randy is able to perform well in the challenges, he fits right in. He mocks Kelly and Ken when they ask for a bite of reward, straight up telling them no, and then mocking Crystal when she starts to cry since they’ve lost so much, going “wah wah wah”. Even after a different reward challenge, he mocks the entire Fang tribe by mentioning how they’re probably out of rice now while they were feasting. This even leads Randy to get pulled into the Onion alliance, replacing Bob. However, his first thing that the alliance does with him in it now is vote off his friend, Dan.
So while Randy’s main edit is watching this go become a villainous asshole, one of the smaller and more missable plots Randy has is his bond with Dan. When Dan returns from Exile, everyone thinks he has the idol except for Randy, who is the only one to defend Dan, saying that he’s just paranoid and tired, and they even end up in a short lived alliance together on Fang. During the tribe swap, both Randy and Dan tell Corinne not to pick GC, as they are both in sync and know what’s good for the tribe. A main moment that really shows how well they work together is in the big hill ball rolling challenge, where their teamwork is able to help clench the victory for Kota over the more dysfunctional Ace and Sugar on Fang. However, Dan has been annoying the rest of the tribe, and Randy tries to distance himself from him. But when Kota wants to vote out Dan over Susie due to fear of an idol, Randy tries to sway the vote to Susie instead, but Dan ends up going home instead. What really makes this impactful is after that tribal, when Randy was asked about it, Randy said that the other tribals were easy, and then got annoyed when everyone laughed as he told them he wasn’t trying to be funny. This is the one rare moment where Randy gets specifically mad at his alliance since he had to watch his friend get voted out.
But now it's F10 and it looks like the merge is finally here! And it's looking like the merge and Randy is on cloud 9. He enjoys the feast, and when the clue for the idol gets revealed, he finds it almost instantly and then he and Marcus convince everyone to throw it into the ocean, with an accompanying confessional where he calls himself the king of Gabon. This all comes crashing down as it's not a merge, it's a second tribe swap! While the Kota six are split evenly between both teams, giving them numerical advantage, Randy worries about Susie flipping and discusses throwing the challenge to vote out Matty. However, Matty ends up single handedly winning immunity for them, and in the next episode, Randy’s fears were confirmed and Susie flipped, voting out Marcus. Of course, it's not all bad news, as Fang ends up winning reward! Except for the fact they won after a five minute argument about the best way to make the easiest shot in the world. It's honestly hilarious to see after the old Kota members on Fang react to seeing Marcus go.
After that it's the merge for real this time! This is where a lot of Karma catches up to Randy. You see, with Susie clearly sided with the Fang members, Sugar is now seen as the swing vote. However, all of Randy’s actions on picking on Fang during the reward challenges and his bad attitude at the recent golf challenge makes her really dislike him and want him out first. However, the Kotas don’t want to do that since Randy is in their alliance, so Sugar ends up siding with the original Fang members who also don’t like Randy and votes off Charlie, meaning Randy inadvertently screwed everything up.
Randy’s boot episode is where Randy is at his worst, which also means he’s at his best since he’s about to go. Randy decides that he’s just going to keep being an asshole, and he lives up to that as the auction is the next reward challenge. He annoys everyone as he gets his hands on beer and nuts as well as a plate of spaghetti. He also buys cookies for the whole tribe and gives one to everyone except Sugar who doesn’t want one, and when he offers his cookie to her, she takes it and gives it to Matty, which annoys him. He then comes up with a genius strategy, basically making everyone miserable so that everyone will vote for him, and then he’ll use the idol that Bob found to make himself safe and take out Susie for personal reasons. It's foolproof! Except there’s one problem. Bob never found the idol because Sugar found it. That alone would be funny if that was that and Randy just got voted off, but there’s more. Bob made a fake and told Sugar about it, and she tells him to give it to Randy if he wants to make it farther. Bob complies, and Randy is none the wiser, super smug with the fact his plan is going to work. This tribal is great cause it gives us two iconic voting confessionals, with Sugar old bigot vote and Crystal’s shouting vote, and the cherry on top is Randy standing up and playing the idol all smug, only for it to be revealed to be fake while Sugar and Crystal laugh, and Randy is out of the game.
Of course, that’s not entirely the end, and Randy would get one last fuck you to the final three. He grills Sugar for laughing at him out the door, asking her if she didn’t realize he would be on the jury, yells at Bob for making a joke at his expense about the fake idol and screwing him over, and gets annoyed with Susie about her saying she feels sorry for him. He then delivers the iconic voting confessional “All three of you can kiss my ass!”. Randy’s villain journey from annoyed old man who’s keeping it to himself to overconfident dick rubbing in the other team's faces to massive downfall caused by his own auctions is a lot of fun, especially with how genuine he feels at all times. Without Randy, Gabon wouldn’t be nearly as great as it is.
~
SMC0629: 11
DryBonesKing: 16
Zanthosus: 19
Tommyroxs45: 8
Regnisyak1: 23
DavidW1208: 6
ninjedi1: 12
Average Placement: 13.571
Total Points: 95
Standard Deviation: 6.079 (12th Lowest)

This is more like a story of my life for the past 2 years, very detailed IB thoughts tho, but more importantly life stuff I would’ve loved to have learnt earlier, so if you have some time I would recommend reading through this clusterfuck.
Wanted to make a post about my experience with IB overall a day before my exams start and give some advice to incoming DP1 students and some things I wish I knew before starting. I want to share a bit of my experience to people who are facing or are going to be in the same situation as I was in. IB was a clusterfuck. I went into it being quite clueless. MYP 4 and 5 didn't prepare me for jackshit and I believe just being at a public school would benefit me even more for being prepared for more technical subjects. Before the start of IBDP I took a math test and an English Lit test which would sort me into a group that would be recommended to take or not to take Math AA HL and English Lit A.
I fucked up my math test, I think I got something like 2/50 and I was in no way reccommended to take Math HL, but being clueless about what I wanted to do in the future I still decided to take Math HL and grind some math during the summer, which sorta worked out.
Starting DP1 was a true clusterfuck by itself. I had a surgery a week before the term started and I had to miss some of the first days which were quite essential and even when I went out to school I was feeling like absolute shit for the first two months or so post OP. There were so many little nuances that I didn't bother to research that I was sorta left clueless about all the stuff e.g. EE, internals, CAS, all that bullshit. The first term was the probably the most stresfull time of my life. Aside from IB my startup miraculously received its first funding and now aside from just having to deal with IB crap I had a full time job. Every time I walked out of school my co-founder was already in the car waiting for me to go to the office which I left at 9 fucking PM and 3-4 times a week I had to do allnighters at my fucking office combining studies and work. At the same time I was a founder and a board member of an NGO that was taking time that I didn't have in the first place. All I can remember is falling asleep on the desk and challenging my liver every night with the amount of booze and redbulls I drank. A realization that struck me later was that I should probably prioritize my stuff, I left the NGO and focused on my startup and IB. Something that I truly and solemnly want to say to people who have other commitments is that please and I fucking beg you, re-evaluate your priorities and commitments. First term will surely be hard for a lot of the students; but it's alright, just test the waters and learn how to manage your time by fucking up sometimes.
Another thing I want to talk about is your lifestyle. In my case, I for some reason didn't give a shit about just grinding on studying. Because of my startup and my past commitments I sorta just started to live. All of a sudden I was invited to coffee chats, accelerators, meetings, investor dinners and all that crap. I started traveling a lot and managed to make my longtime dream of going to the Arctic in the winter come true all while being on IB. So if you're wondering if it's possible to party, travel, and live an interesting life while being on IB, yeah it's totally possible; but it's gonna cost ya. Sleeping 3-4 hours a day or not sleeping at all and going to bars or clubs every weekend whilst also working a fulltime job and traveling is not awesome. I was carrying two flasks at all times and at some point I started doing snus and started smoking here and there, also I got really into pot for a couple months and it didn't really help the case haha. Whenever I think about that time I have three takeaways:

1. I'm glad that I didn't give up on fun and good times. Make good memories, it'll help you stay confident and sane.
   
2. At that time the stress was INSANE. Working and studying and fully maximizing my time helped me grow years in advance. It altered my perception and gave me a vision for my future. Prolonged exposure to stress helps you grow as a person.
   
3. I would rather get my left eye poked out with a tetanus infected rusty spoon than repeat that time of my life ever again.
   

I had a shitton of energy and motivation, but it fades away and your body is going to slowly start to give up on you. I'll elaborate on that later on. I wrote my first term exams which were not awful, but they were just average and to be honest my dream was always to go to some of the top unis so average couldn't really cut it. I also found out the pure importance of just being consistent and not falling behind. Missing even 2-3 days of class was catastrophic at that point. So please just attend all the classes in your first two terms. However, I was not consistent at all, my workflow is sorta awful, I do everything last minute and I always find ways to make everything more efficient in a way and that's probably the key if you're a slacker like myself. Instead of just doing everything from the books, google some notes for fucks sake it's gonna save you a shitton of time. On the subject of note taking, I was taking notes of everything I could, but I gave up at some point, because I was barely awake during my class hours. But, by learning some of the stuff that IB examiners are looking for I was able to score pretty nicely on my second term exam. I remember scoring a 4/7 on my Eng Lit A HL PP1 and PP2 exams in the first term, but by using very IB specific thinking I got a 7/7 on both my PP1 and PP2 for Eng Lit A HL (mind you I haven't read any of the books in the curriculum). Just try to learn the system and, however, cringy it may sound exploitative. Write what examiners are looking for nobody cares about your opinion it's IB.
During my summer break I decided to go backpacking for two months as I didn't even have time to spend the money from my startup yet. As I said before, you SHOULD HAVE A LIFE outside of IB, please learn to balance it somehow. However, during the summer my brain was just not working anymore. My energy levels were decreasing, I needed more and more sleep and I couldn't think as fast as I could before. I was still working full time at that time, but remotely, so the stress didn't fully go away. I can't describe the toll that shit took on me. I can't explain it with words, but my brain was constantly on sleep mode full on brainfog almost like I had lime disease or sm shit. I gave up on drinking that summer so I could reset and lived a super healthy lifestyle, but I was still fucked up. However, I can confidently say that the trip was something that really helped me grow so don't forget to live a life.
Returning to school and missing most of my IA deadlines was like a round 2 of clusterfuckfest. Math got harder, classes got harder in general as well. But this time I wasn't able to return to the old levels of energy. Right at that time even more and more opportunities came, I became a president of an international NGO in my country and the stress was at all time high again. But I couldn't do anything to return to that very grind I had in the past. My body constantly required sleep and comfort. All I could think of was a warm bed waiting for me at my house.
Going into IB specific stuff, I submitted my last IA in the 7th of April and I missed the last 10% of the curriculum for most of the subjects. Leaving me with less than a month to study and then revise all of that. So another huge tip I would give is PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SUBMIT YOUR EE AND IA's WAAAY BEFORE THE DEADLINE, use the summer wisely. As for the uni applications they were a clusterfuck of their own. Applying to US unis and also requesting finaid is a huuuuge and tiresome process. Start as early as possible and to those who are applying to top US unis; well, US unis aren't just looking for good grades. Top unis are looking for inidividuals who have experienced life in a way. People that didn't just do a shitton of volunteering hours, be unique in your own way and show it to them.
At the same time while doing uni apps trying to live and do IB, my girlfriend noticed something on my a certain part of my body. Well turns out I have a fucking tumor! Fuck my life, just what I needed. To this day I'm blaming my shitty lifestyle for that. I got a surgery three weeks ago and I can still barely fucking walk. And even tho post OP morphine is all fun and rainbows, revizing for your math AA HL exam on morphine isn't that fucking fun. Fortunately, everything turned out fine-ish at the end.
I got predicted a 41/45, and applied to 25 ish unis with almost a full aid request. I only got into 4 of them with two of them being my dream schools. I chose NYU at the end. However, because of all the circumstances I wasn't able to revise anything and I'm just hoping I get my diploma with something like 30ish points and to keep my Uni offer.
In conclusion, IB by itself isn't hard, with consistency and some IB specific tricks you'll do just fine. What's hard is to go a little beyond your age and get all of that life experience. And to all of the people who are aiming for that, good fucking luck and check your livers and kidneys regularly — caffeine and booze aren't doing you a favor. That's my two cents.
I wrote this before my IB exams. Exactly 2 weeks after the exams I’m still living the same shitty lifestyle working 2 jobs and doing a Seed round for my startup. I’m still addicted to coffee, snus, and booze. IB wasn’t at fault, it just validated my shitty lifestyle.

While I don't have children, one of my coworkers has a young daughter and occasionally we'll end up in a conversation about age-appropriate dressing for teens/tweens - particularly when it comes to young girls.
For the most part, we're of the same opinion that some of the things that young girls are wearing are not appropriate for their age. We see no shortage of teenage girls (sometimes with their parents) coming through our store since it sells a lot of cute/kawaii stationary.
My coworker is 19 so she's closer in age to them than I am (27) and even she's mentioned some of the things that she's seen teen/tween girls come in wearing being inappropriate. In a way, it's a little concerning (for lack of better words) how girls barely 13 are dressing in ways that mirror adults about to go to the club.
While I agree with the sentiment that men should be taught not to leer, catcall, etc., and agree that clothing doesn't lead to assault and that when it comes to assault it doesn't matter what you're wearing and while I've not had a personal experience being assaulted/catcalled it still lingers in my mind a bit that even if a world existed where no one was ever assaulted, looked at inappropriately, etc. would some styles of clothing still be inappropriate for someone who is young?
After all, there's a reason why certain styles of dress, makeup, clothing, etc. are geared and catered towards adult women so it's a little jarring seeing someone half my age seeing something I'm pretty sure I've seen a grown woman wear on a night out. During the odd times when customers strike conversations up with us while it's slow - occasionally we're thrown off guard by the fact that the person we're casually chatting with (nothing inappropriate - at work after all) is a preteen because they're wearing a sheer top that is one breeze away from being an indecent exposure combined with makeup that makes them look 18 minimum - probably closer to 20. For some clothes - there's a reason why the model is an adult even though there's nothing stopping a teen from going into the store and buying it because if the clothes were modeled on a minor, it would be a questionable decision at best to market something that would typically be seen on a woman on a night out on someone who isn't even old enough to drive.
I understand tweens/teens are experiencing a budding sense of self and want to look this way for their peers typically, but I can't help but wonder if teenage girls and it being "normalized" for them to present themselves as if they are so much older is healthy mentally?
-- (Not necessary to read behind this point if you don't want to - but TLDR: My own experiences) --
To draw from my own experiences, while I don't have the healthiest relationship with my own sense of self and sexuality (long story) I can at least say that it isn't from being slut shammed by family. While I wouldn't say my granny was conservative there were certain things I wasn't allowed to wear because as she put it - just not appropriate for my age. A lot of emphasis was put on not growing up too fast and explaining why she thought something was inappropriate. The first conversation I can remember about something like this was Halloween when I was 8 - 10. I wanted to wear a fairy/tinkerbell costume but the one they had at the Halloween store - despite being for my height and size was - in hindsight inappropriate for a kid despite being marketed towards them. It was so short it barely covered my tush and I recall hearing even other parents agreeing (people were nosy in the early 2000s and it's not like there was anything else to do in line). They let me pick a different, more appropriate outfit and even though I was bummed out in a way I kinda... understood? At least as I got older.
As I got older, there were certain things they didn't let me get because - once again - it wasn't appropriate for someone my age. Like having thongs (because I wasn't in any activity that would require them for practical reasons - I really just wanted them to impress other girls/guys at school), participating in the female equivalent of guys with saggy pants (whale tails), wearing something that was too short or too cropped (in part the dreaded of being a teenager with large breasts) but whenever issues like that arose it was always explained why. Or if they got it for me it would be for the house only.
Even now when I reflect on them - I never felt like I got slut shammed or told that I was going to attract unwanted attention or something bad would happen to me if I dressed a certain way. A lot of times it was just being comfortable looking my age instead of trying to present myself in a way that was older just to receive acceptance from my peers. For me, the idea of "If you dress like this you will be assaulted/leered at/catcalled/older men will creep on you" was never planted in my head it was more so a matter of "Save it for when you turn 18 and get grown woman money".
While I was behind my peers in that regard and kinda isolated, it did give me a better sense of self when it came to self exploration (getting into goth, vkei, lolita fashion, etc.) and how I present myself now. Now if I want to dress in revealing clothes and "turn up the sexy" to attract men and women sexually - I can handle all the consequences that come with that. Teenage me? I couldn't even afford my own birth control and may not have been able to have - for lack of better words - dealt with the consequences of sexual attention especially the kind that comes with presenting yourself in a way that makes you look of age when you aren't.
In a perfect world, we wouldn't need to have these conversations (in a way) and there wouldn't be any "danger" (for lack of better words) associated with looking older than you actually are but that hypothetical world doesn't exist. Or maybe in some ways we still would. Who knows.
-- (Pick back up here - this just goes back over the earlier question) --
So - while I'm not a parent I wonder how these conversations are handled if they are had at all?
Once again - I want to emphasize that I know that men should be taught to be respectful from a young age so responding that "I just teach my boys to be respectful" isn't quite helpful since even some boys can fall victim to the mentality that they need to act in a way that makes them come off as an adult - it just looks differently than a female one. Being AFAB and not raised around boys my age - I have only a vague idea how this actually looks from a male perspective which is why I'm more so focused on a female one (because I can personally relate/have more experience) and when it comes to tween/teenage girls.
And even removed of the potential of SA, it's possibly a matter of "Is it appropriate for tweens/teenagers to look/act/present themselves in a way that makes them look or come off as of age?" and how to handle that conversation.
I'm also willing to accept that it also could very well be nothing and some imagined "problem" in my head. Being potentially autistic, I know that I can misread social ques and can have rigid views on how some things "should be" but I also can't help but feel that it is "unsafe" from at least a mental perspective for teens/tweens to look and act in a way that mirrors the same way that an adult woman would wear to the club.

This idea came to me in college and I've sort of played around with it over the years. I would appreciate any constructive criticism, especially focused on the prose and characters. This would be the introductory chapter of one of the main characters, Karl Klug, who is an important noble in his country. I hope you enjoy!
​
​
​
KARL 1
Three men stood beneath a great oak branch, hands bound and nooses pulled tight around their necks. The branches connected to a mighty tree, old as the mountains themselves. The men were all silent, as were the other corpses gently swinging in the morning breeze. The air was still cold from the dew, not yet banished by the still rising sun.
“If you have anything left to say, now would be the time.” Karl Klug, Lord of the Wald said as he eyed them with disgust from the back of his chestnut horse destrier. He sat tall in the saddle, his close cropped brown hair and clean shaven face a far cry from the ragged appearance of the condemned. His heavy, black, woolen cloak was pulled tight, the hood up to block out the wind. Under the cloak he wore a simple brown doublet, with a crest bearing the black tree on a green field that was the sigil of his house. Karl always made sure to represent House Klug when acting as Lord, as was his duty.
These men were thieves, rapists, and murderers. They attacked travelers on the roads of the Wald, and it was Karl’s duty, as Duke of the Wald and Lawspeaker to the King, to keep those roads safe. The law demanded only one punishment for their transgressions. Their fate would serve as a warning to other would-be bandits.
The first man, a stern face and hard eyes, said nothing, but spat on the ground. The second man, fat and whimpering, managed to speak out in between choked sobs “Please m’lord. Mercy! They made me do it!”
The last man, a boy no older than fifteen, barked at him to be quiet. “We’re done for Ozzy. Go to the Wainman with some dignity, would you?” Such bravery in one so young. What could he have become if he followed a different path?
With that, Karl nodded to Jorivs, his household Resolver, who pulled hard on the ropes, them each one by one into the air, sending them kicking and choking into the Beyond. The second one, Ozzy, screamed and begged for his mother before the rope cut him off. Jorivs tied the final line off to a stake, while Wolter, his barber-surgeon companion, scribbled something down in a book. “They go to their doom in all different spirits, yet they all dance the hangman’s jig just the same.” He said as he turned a page.
“Amazing the lessons they teach at Spierpont.” Jorvis chuckled as the last pair of legs stopped kicking. “Shame Lemba couldn’t join us.”
“The Elf has seen his fair share of death. Let him enjoy his peace.”
“I only jest, my lord.” Jorvis said as he took a sip from his canteen. He motioned for Wolter to take a drink, but the older man was too busy furiously scribbling in his notebook to notice.
Karl looked to the east. The dawn was still cresting the horizon. “I’m off to the woods. I will not be disturbed.” Matilda and the children will still be sleeping. Best not to wake them with my return.
His pages nodded and replied in unison “Yes my lord.” By Karl’s standing order, Jorvis was peeling the boots of the dead men, better they should shoe a pauper than rot on the condemned. Wolter sketched the hanging men in his book, taking special care to note the lolling tongues and soiled breeches. Jorvis had the boots in a loose pile when he pulled a knife and a small pouch from his belt. “The eyes,my lord?”
He nodded grimly. “Hain will have his due.” Jorvis took a small stool and set to work, all six organs removed in a few quick flashes of the blade. Jorvis placed the grim package in its usual place on Baldur, Karl’s horse. With the bloody sack tied to his saddle, Karl rode off towards the thick forest nearby, a page in tow to hold his horse.
The page started to speak, and then stopped himself. He was a small boy, ten or eleven at the most. He had been to several executions before and not once had he been troubled by the sight of death.
Karl noticed the indecisive boy and helped him along.
“Something bothering you, Wiglaf?”
“The” came a squeak. Wiglaf cleared his throat and tried again. “The Resolver grumbles, lord. He grumbles that it would be easier to take the eyes before hanging the condemned.” He said meekly
“I know he grumbles. I know. But this is the way things are to be done. Taking their eyes before they hang is not the punishment for their crime. These men had their trial, and I sentenced them to die, not to be tortured. Do you understand, Wiglaf?”
“Aye, my lord. I understand.” Wiglaf nodded.
Wiglaf. So eager to learn but so nervous to offend. I’ll talk to his father the next time we meet.
This was the first time in months he had a chance to take in the forest. The influx in banditry in the past year had been a great source of woe not only to Karl, but to the Waldish people as a whole. They had enough to be fearful of without their fellow man adding to their problems. It had kept Karl up many nights, as he racked his brain trying to figure out the cause.
He had built roads, sick houses, held fairs, endorsed the Bard’s college, done all in his power to keep the people happy and content and quiet, and yet, there were some who still turned to crime. Why? No. Not now. Not here. Karl decided that he needed to rest his mind from constant affairs of state, and allow himself to relax before he made his offering.
They reached a clearing, and Karl dismounted. “Hitch up Baldur and rub him down. Have something to eat from my pack if you get hungry. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone this time.” The page nodded. Wiglaf, a good lad, if a bit timid at times. Weather had concealed his typical path into the great forest, but muscle memory lead his way.
He enjoyed his solitary walks in the woods, it gave him a chance to forget the woes of rulership, the frustrations of fatherhood, and the horrible curse that befell his bloodline. Now that things had quieted down with the bandits, Karl hoped he might have more time to be a husband to his wife, Matilda, and a father to their children. His three children, though nearly adults themselves, still tended to make a commotion. What they need is a firm hand. Their mother will spoil them rotten if she has her way. Karl laughed to himself. She always gets her way.
His feet knew where he was going, even if his mind did not. He always returned to the same place, no matter what direction he turned. Are the woods themselves magic, or just the creatures that inhabit it? He wondered as he found the well worn dirt path covered by a tunnel of tree limbs. The branches must have kept this clear from storms after all.
Few who entered the Wald came back alive, save for the Elves and their slaves, who usually came out in one piece. Most who walked too far past the tree line simply vanished. There were rumors, of course. Even his own grandfather had claimed that he was, in fact, the same Helm Klug that had vanished without a trace in the winter of 542. He had fallen through a tree hollow and into the myth shrouded realm of Cunnan, where time flows differently, or so the stories go. As such, though ninety-five years had passed from the time of the vanishing, Helm had only aged ten years or so.
Karl’s realm was a dangerous one, even without the recent rise of the highwaymen. To an outsider, walking alone in the duchy of the Wald was like strolling past a dark alley with coins jingling loudly. To Karl Klug, Lord of the Wald, it was like walking into his own bedroom. He had grown up here, he knew that danger lurked behind every tree, above every branch, and below every root. Not once had he seen anything like what Grandfather Helm had rambled about. No fairies or witches or traces of Hain. Still, one had to tread carefully here. Even Karl would not dare to venture in some parts of the forest, for an ancient force still had power in the dark parts of Bordrim.
I hope Hain will be pleased with my tribute. To survive here, one had to know when to fight, when to run, and when to submit. Some might call that heretical, going against the word of the church, But that was not something he wished to think about now, not when he was trying to be at peace.
The fresh air cleared his head and refreshed his spirit. Karl took a long, deep breath filling his lungs with the cold morning damp. He knew he would not be distrubed here, as none but the Duke of the Wald may travel to this part of the woodland.
He had been Duke ever since the death of his father when he was just four years old, though he had not ruled in his own right until he was fourteen. In that time, he had learned much from his regents, and his mother, who was far more capable than many made her out to be. She had taught him that most men, however pure their intentions may seem, nearly always had some ulterior motive that they wished to advance. Karl remembered that as his most valuable lesson, and it had assisted him greatly as he came of age. My father’s sycophants did not last long when I ruled in my own right.
The sound of rushing water came to his ear as he walked by the River Cember where his father had drowned. He used to intentionally go out of his way to avoid being near it, but now he barely gave it a second glance. I used to be so afraid of the water, until I understood why Father died. But by then, Mother had the Court Elf Lembe throw me in Sillac Pond. How I thrashed! It didn’t seem so scary after that. Fate is far more terrifying than any danger and far more comforting than any joy. Once you have been through the worst, everything else can be done with ease.
Karl heard a branch snap in the trees to his right, and his hand slipped to the silver coated dagger at his hip. He stood still as the trees around him, slowly moving his eyes from right to left as he looked for the source of the noise. Funny. I was afraid of harmless water for so many years when there were very real threats all around me the entire time. As long as I stay on the path, no beast would dare harm me.
There were no further noises, and judging by the humming of insects and the singing of birds, there was no real threat. Probably a stag or maybe one of Grandfather Helm’s Fae creature having a laugh at my expense. He continued walking for some time, climbing up small, rolling hills and ducking under fallen tree trunks, before reaching a final, gentle incline which led to Hidden Hill. That was where they found his older brother, Jasper, hanging from the tree at the top. That was the day his father had told him about the curse that stalked their family.
He made his way up the slope, as he had countless times before. The top of the hill was clear, save for one tree, planted by Karl’s grandfather Helm upon regaining control of the Wald after decades of Gaunt rule. His family adopted that tree, and made it part of their heraldry. A great black tree, sounded by the green of the forest.
The air seemed to resist being pulled into his lungs now. He had to unclench his teeth, relax his shoulders. He looked down at his fingers. He had scraped away the flesh near the nails on his thumbs and middle digits. How long have I been at it this time? It is difficult to relax when I am surrounded by some many painful reminders of the past. No matter how deep in this forest I walk, I cannot escape the memories that tears at me.
He kept his eyes low. Karl enjoyed seeing the blooming flowers and vibrant weeds that grew along the path he always walked. One particular group of plants caught his eye. A clover patch. The old folks said that in every clover patch, there was one particularly special sprout. And so Karl made a point to look over each and every patch he saw, even if only a passing glance.
What’s this? He said to the tiny green sprout as he crouched down for a closer look. A clover with four leaves. Lucky, lucky. Karl smiled as he plucked the clover and put it in his coin purse. And a good omen too. I know Otto will love this.
Karl continued up the path, and sat beneath the great black tree, looking out onto the castle that stood proud below in the clearing. Grey Hallow, it was called, and it was among the oldest in Bordrim, predating even the great fortresses of the Empire that many great houses now called their own. With two rings of thick, tall walls and towers covering every angle of approach, no enemy had ever successfully stormed the walls. Though a knife in the back is sometimes better than a ram at the gate, as history has proved.
Karl grabbed the now wet sack that Jorvis had provided. He quickly found a small knothole and stuffed the grisly offering side. The Dule clasped his hands together and bowed his head. “Haim, please take this offering that we may know quiet peace.” He sighed. Was Haim even real? Or just another story to make obedient children?
As Karl reclined in the unearthed roots of the black oak, he smiled. *Real or not, offerings to Haim aren’t all terrible.*This was the tree that he had married Matilda under, after he came back from the Siege of Hammerring, the last remaining Imperial stronghold in Bordrim. He had made a fortune by securing the ransoms of important Imperials, bringing House Klug from the embarrassment of near bankruptcy to extreme wealth in a single day. He had spent coins like a drunken gambler blessed with immovable luck that night, and from then on men had begun to say he was the richest man in the kingdom. I don’t know about any of that. But riches aren’t just measured in gold. Karl thought as he ran his fingers along the black bark of the tree.
Searching through the leather pack he took from his saddle, Karl grabbed the cloth that held the dried venison and cheese he had carried along for his breakfast. The castle will just be coming to life now. He thought as the sun began to climb higher in the sky. After he had broken his fast, he pulled a quill, a tightly sealed ink pot, and a piece of parchment from his sack. He began to write.
“Your smile, a joy
Your laugh, a pleasure.
When we are together,
Troubles are light as a feather.”
Karl would have a servant hide that among Matilda’s things, where she would discover it later. Even after fifteen years of marriage, Karl loved to create these little surprises for his wife, just as she loved finding his cumbersome gifts and clumsy poetry.
A long, steady drumming sounded over the tops of the trees, booming from the direction of Grey Hallow, but far beyond. In the west, birds squaked and scattered to the wind. By the cadence of their beat, Karl knew it was the Elves, come to pay their respects and receive letters of safe passage as required by the Pact. A little earlier than expected. No matter. I prefer early to late. No doubt my Chamberlain, Aldred, will have everything prepared. Karl sprang to his feet, dusted off his trousers, and rolled the dried parchment. He followed the path back to the castle at a quick pace, humming a song his Bard had sung the previous night while they slept under the stars.
The day had well and truly begun upon his return. Servants wearing the green and black of his house dashed about as their duties required. Men stood guard wearing the Great Black Tree of the Klugs on their livery. The halls were alive with chatter and the scuffing of feet. Karl knew a long line of petitioners awaited him in his hall, but everyone knew that an audience with elves took precedence over the squabbles of men. They had all heard the drums, and they would be pressed together like bees in a hive just for a glimpse of the pointy eared outlanders. Every year, young elves Elves embarked on a great journey that they called *THING* or “The Taste” in the Imperial tongue. They spent anywhere from one to one hundred years living among the mortals, learning their ways and customs. Some spent the rest of their millennia-long lives among the mortals, watching dynasties rise and fall, technological marvels stun the world, and should they be unfortunate enough to make friends or find lovers, they witness death on a scale previously unimaginable.
Lemba is due to return home by the end of the year. After seventy years of service to my family, he’s earned his rest. Perhaps one of the newcomers would like a position at court. I would very much like to continue my lessons. Karl flexed his fingers at the mere thought of magic. Outlawed in most realms of men, Karl had insisted on instruction. The training was hard and the consequences if discovered by the Church would be dire, but in a land as dangerous as the Wald, every advantage counted.
The drums boomed, growing louder as the elves approached closer. I must hurry. I cannot insult them by wearing the same clothes I just wore to an execution. Karl jogged down the path from whence he came. Wiglaf was holding Baldur by his reigns, and he snapped to attention the moment he saw Karl approach. “The drums my lo-”
“I heard. Ride ahead and have your father prepare clothing for court.”
“Right away, my lord.” The page said as he galloped away. Karl followed at a quick but more relaxed pace. No sense in appearing sweaty and exasperated for my guests. He reasoned as he rode down the winding path.
His servants were waiting at the gate for him. They grabbed their reins from Baldur, and Karl climbed down from the horse. “Andred has selected your clothing, m’lord. Right this way, if you please.” Onna, the fat seamstress said and she beckoned him to follow. She led him to the laundry, where Karl pulled the dirty articles he had worn for the execution and picked up the courtly clothing she had laid out. He pulled the white linen tunic on first and fasted it was a leather belt inlain with a large silver buckle. His slipped into brown wool trousers next and grabbed a pair of light leather boots. While I won’t appear filthy in front of my guests, high fashion is not something I care to waste my gold on.
Karl sat in his finely carved chair on the dais at the end of the hall. It sat to the right of an identical, but smaller chair where his wife sat*.* She wore a black and green dress with a modestly cut v-neck which exposed her pale skin. Her golden hair lay in one long braid along her shoulder. and her piercing blue eyes smiled back at Karl’s own green. This was the women he had fallen in love with the moment he first spoke to her. She had been less convinced, at first. While he had been the highest born of her many suitors, he had not been her first choice.
“I thought you were boring!” She would tease him later. “You barely said a word the first three times we met.”
“I was nervous.” He would reply. “You captured my heart and my wits that day in High Hibaltia.”
“Well, that wit is what won me. Perhaps I just borrowed it for a time.” She smiled.
Cleverness, justness, kindness. These are the things that make me love you.
The couple held each other's hands as they looked over the court. The chamberlain, Aldred, was quickly giving some last minute instructions to his son and another page, and they immediately scrambled to their work. Guards stood firmly at attention in front of the doors, knowing that they would be facing a hallway full of eager onlookers at any moment.
Their three children stood to the side, talking amongst themselves. Grimbold was the oldest. And doomed to die young, as my brother and uncle have. He was tall, taller than Karl even. He had the arms of a blacksmith’s apprentice and Karl’s own brown curls. He shared his mother’s sky blue eyes and slender nose, as well as her quick temper. He’ll want more responsibility soon. I’ve already denied him a squireship. Perhaps a minor position at court would assuage him.
Next to Grimbold was Charlotte, their only daughter. She too had Karl’s curly brown hair, but she wore it in a long braid, like her mother. She was just like Matilda, in fact. They were both skilled with numbers, and Charlotte’s fascination with bards rivaled Matilda’s own obsession. The two of them often pleaded with Karl to hire this performer or that one, and Duke Karl Klug, Lawspeaker of Bordrim, would not resist his girls, especially Charlotte. She had just turned fourteen, and would be expecting suitors soon. I doubt any of them would be worthy of her. The two of us share a thin patience for stupidity and love makes fools of us all. Especially this false, courtly love the Pawley’s have been peddling these last centuries.
And then there was Otto, the youngest of the three. He stood in between his brother and sister, obviously uncomfortable and being talked over. Nervous and shy, Otto had trouble making friends with children his age. He got along well enough with Wiglaf, but the two never actively sought each other out for play. Probably waiting for the other to make the first move. Karl thought to himself.
“Otto!” Karl yelled. The boy snapped nearly to attention. “Come here, lad. I have a surprise for you.” The boy warily came before his parents.
“Close your eyes and stick out your hands, Otto.” Matilda gently urged.
Otto did as he was told. “Karl dug around in his coin purse and pulled out the clover and a gold coin. He placed the two in Otto’s open palm.
His eyes beamed just before the rest of his face lit up. “Is it real?” He asked as he squealed at his gift.
“Just found it this morning. I figured, with you as my son, I already have all the luck I need.” Otto grinned wide, his missing baby teeth apparent in his otherwise toothy smirk. “Now, with that coin, I want you to find a book that we can read together. Would you like that?” “Yes, father! Yes, yes!” Otto exclaimed, almost shaking with excitement.
“Now get back to your place. The Elves will be here soon.:
“Yes, father!” Otto slipped the clover and coin into his own purse and hurried back to his siblings.
Matilda leaned over and kissed Karl on the forehead. “You’re a good man, Karl Klug.” His mind raced back to dawn, and the creaking of ropes. “I try to be, my love.” He kissed her forehead back. There was a commotion behind the doors to the hallway. It started as a low murmur, and then grew in size, becoming a roar of excitement.
Lemba, Karl’s tutor and resident Elf, took
The Elves had arrived.
Two figures, hooded in dark crimson cloaks, approached the dais. Less than a quarter of what I was told to expect. Behind them were six large, muscular, green skinned orcs bound together at wrist and ankle. Less than a tenth of what I had prepared for. Some Orcs had obviously suffered wounds in the recent past, black blood welling up through tightly wrapped bandages at shoulder, scalp, or thigh. Karl knew from past experience that were these wounds even a slight inconvenience to the Elves, the Orc would be killed with no more pity than lame donkey.
The two cloaked figures marched in a praticed cadence as they moved towards the Duke and Duchess. They all move like that in this room. Is it tradition? Or something more calculated? Lemba, can you enlighten me?
“In due time.” The elf’s voice answered in Karl’s mind. “For now, let us see who has survived the journey.
Karl cast a quick and silent spell to identify the travelers, his only tell was a twitch of the nose, which may have been mistaken for an aborted sneeze.
Viksna and Piske Dun Beske, twin siblings of a prominent Orhani family. Lemba leaned and whispered into Karl’s ear. “The youngest children of a powerful family of sorcerors. T
“Viksna and Piske you illuminate my land with your presence.” Karl’s voice boomed across the hall. It had been so long since he had shouted without magical amplification that he wondered if his throat could even yell anymore.
The two outsiders removed their hoods and stood with clasped hands and bowed heads. Their hair golden, their ears pointed, they were both of a similar height and build, shorter than most men in the room, and Karl could tell they were thin even under their robes.
“And you honor us with your hospitality, Lord Klug.” The pair said in unison.
“You’ve arrived sooner than expected. Was your trip pleasant?”
“We ran into some trouble with monsters, I’m afraid.” Piske said, matter of factly.
“ They devoured quite a few of our slaves.” Viksna added. And of course, the Shadow King must have his due. Our traveling companions were not to his liking. We two and The six Orcs you see behind us are all that is left, I’m afraid, out of the seventeen souls we departed with. Ah, yes. The older races call Haim by his title and dare not refer to him by name. A superstitious bunch, the Elves.
Three slaves for each of us is hardly fitting.” Piske scoffed.
“A shame. I will see that they are tended to. And my servants shall make up for your deficit. See these creatures to their quarters.” He ordered with a wave of his hand.
Guards cautiously herded the six chained beasts on the points of spears, but the broken creatures simply did as they were told and offered no resistance, not even a scowl. They were broken in mind and spirit, they simply existed to do as they were told. Even still, they looked as if they could crush a man’s skull without much effort, and so the guards insisted on caution. I cannot say I blame them.
The instant their slaves were gone from the room, the elves both went down to one knee, each pulling a small bundle from their cloaks. In unison they spoke. “We have come to pay tribute to the Lord of the Wald. Bordermaster, River Watcher, Upholder of the Pact. We offer these small tokens to you, Great Lord.”
Karl pushed up from his seat on the dais and walked towards the pair, gesturing them to stand. This well rehearsed speech never fails to delight my courtiers. “You have left your great capitol of Orhani to live amongst the lesser lived. You have endured freezing cold and driving rain. You have crossed river and mountain, field and fell, and traversed the Wald itself. You have fought beast and monster and seen many things that Man fears in his dreams. You have lost friends and companions along your way, and for that, you have our sympathy. However, all is not lost, and these deaths have not been in vain. You have proved yourselves worthy of fellowship through your very deeds. I bid you stand, as friends of Men.” The two figures stood, pulling back their hoods as the ritual demanded. They both looked as beautiful as painted godlings, young as if in their prime, though each must have seen a hundred years come and go.
The two approached, stepping slowly, deliberately, in unison to the dais where Karl sat. Piske stepped forward, leaving his sister still as a statue with her bundle still in her hands.
“For you, my lord. A gift.” He bowed and handed the package to Karl.
“Thank you, Piske.” Karl exchanged a rolled parchment for the gift. The container was small, and light. It could have been empty if Karl did not know better. He pulled the string holding everything together, and opened the paper wrapping. Inside was a ring, small and green, with all manner of beasts carved intricately on the sides.
“This is remarkable, Piske. You have my thanks.” Karl said as he turned the ring over in his hands. He spied an eagle, a fish, a rat, and a bear amongst the throng of creatures on the metal.
Piske looked to Lemba, eyes practically screaming for help. Lemba chuckled to himself for a moment and then cocked his head in Karl’s direction.
“May I approach, my lord?” the Elf asked in the elegant Elvish tongue, hands out stretched. Karl nodded his approval and he came forward. Piske leaned forward, taking the ring from the Lord’s hand and slipped the emerald ring onto his own left pointer finger.
“This ring is rather...peculiar, my lord. Observe.” The Elf cleared his throat and began to shout “Will one of you fellows come out? We’d like to make introductions.”
A heavy silence, followed by quiet, confused muttering amongst the onlookers. Then a shriek came from the rear of the crowd, growing louder and closer by the second.
That’s when it appeared before Karl’s eyes. It came forward at a run. Sharp claws, huge black eyes, and jagged yellow teeth.
“The ring summons rats?” Karl answered in Elvish in between laughs.
“Or maybe it makes the wearer forget his manners.” came a perfect Elvish reply from the rat. Karl’s eyes shot wide. Bhalik’s Maw. Did that rodent just speak? He regained his composure and looked around his court. Everyone was staring up at him. Had they all heard too?
“They can’t hear me, you big oaf. Only the ring bearer can.” Karl glanced at the green band around his finger. “My name is difficult to pronounce, but for the sake of simplicity, call me Ymaut. Piske tells me you have a rather large network of informants. How would you like to expand?
“We’ll discuss another time. Thank you, Piske. You honor me.”
Piske bowed. “Of course, my lord. My sister has brought you a gift as well” gesturing to his companion. He stepped back to take her place, while Viksna approached, bowed and held out her tribute. The thing she brought was bigger and heavier than her brother’s gift. When Karl had finished unwrapping it, he understood why.
“A Grimoire.” he said quietly.
“May I approach, my lord?” Karl nodded absently as he flipped through the pages.
Viksna whispered. “I am told you enjoy practicing magic. I would be happy to teach you, if you’d like.”
“This is too much to trade for a mere letter of safe conduct. Anything in my power to give you is yours, if you but name it.”
Viksna thought for only a brief moment. “Should there be an opening for a position in your court that I may be suitable for, I would like to enter your service.”
Lemba is leaving my service, to return to Outland. If you would care to remain here and assume his role upon his departure, I would welcome the company.” Karl said as he struggled to tear his eyes away from the book. That will be all for today. My servants will show you to your chambers. Should you want for anything at all, you need only ask and it is yours.”
The two bowed low. “You honor us, my lord.” the two Elves said as one. As they slowly walked from the hall, Karl’s Chamberlain, Aldred, whispered in his ear. “My lord, Sir Vanya has come to charge Baron Stevers as an oathbreaker. My duty calls. Karl thought, the grimoire still open in his hand.

It's been a few days since the first event and two weeks or so since release, so I think it's a fair time to post a quick review for Gakuen Idolm@ster (will be called Gakumas for the rest of the review). Gakumas is part of the Idolm@ster franchise, which has other games such as Starlight Stage (Deresute), but it's an entirely new branch which makes it very easy to get into. It's developed by QualiArts of Idoly Pride fame.
Gameplay
For context, I've played a lot of 'idol games' (all the Love Live ones, Bang Dream, D4DJ, Proseka, Deresute etc), but don't go into Gakumas looking for the rhythm game experience. The closest comparison by far is Uma Musume in terms of gameplay, making it a training roguelike. Unfortunately, like UmaMusu, it's entirely in Japanese, though it's gameplay is easier to understand if you don't speak Japanese vs UmaMusu. In fact, a lot of aspects from UmaMusu are borrowed to great effect here. You have five support cards and borrow one from a friend, and at the end of each run, you obtain a "memory" which is used as inheritance to boost later runs in terms of skill cards and stats. You can borrow a memory from a friend, though it's capped at thrice a day.
It differs from UmaMusu in several aspects though. As someone who played UmaMusu for about two years, the speed of each run is very much appreciated. Once you've gotten the hang of things, each run is about 15 minutes, and only has two "final stages". The final stages involve you trying to beat 5 other NPCs's scores to achieve first place. Another aspect is the skill card system: you get 3 cards each turn to choose from that'll grant you a myriad of effects, and these rotate out each turn from a set pool that you can expand on during the run. One skill card is tied to a support, and one to the girl you're producing. You access more skill cards and bonus items as you level up your player rank, and gain more skill cards during the run through various means.
Girls are separated into "sense" and "logic" types. Base gameplay is the same but there are notable differences when it comes to how score is gained, e.g. "sense" idols tend to have consistent damage across turns, whereas "logic" is further split into two categories: DoT or powering up across turns to hit very high numbers on the last few turns. Support cards can mostly be used for each type; SSR supports can be used for every type. There are three attributes: Vocal, Dance, and Visual; typical Idolm@ster stuff.
Gacha
Base rate of 5%, which is quite generous in comparison to other idol games. Rateup...not so much, as Produce SSR and Support SSR share a pool, unlike UmaMusu. Each pull is 2,500 jewels. For example, the Produce SSR rate is at 2%, and we have a 0.75% for Ivy Temari, the current rateup. It's a Japanese gacha, so no pity, though the spark is at 200. At the moment there are 2 gachas running: the permanent banner, and the rate up banner. Permament banner has no time limit and has spark as well...unfortunately, the "free tickets" are limited to only said permanent banner and cannot be used on the rateup banner. SSRs are all good to an extent, and the SRs are very much viable. Uncaps/dupes matter to an extent for Support SSRs but are not as crucial as UmaMusu's dupes. Dupes don't matter as much for Produce SSRs.
Sidenote: there's also a coin gacha which gives some good stuff, including a Sense welfare SSR and a Logic welfare SSR. You get these coins through runs and the event shop.
Reroll
Despite the myriad of fast reroll methods we've gotten as of late (World Flipper and Uma Musume come to mind), this one is the fastest I've ever done. One minute per reroll after the tutorial. I'd advise you to spend your 2,500 red jewels on the rate up banner, as the character and support card are very strong, and then try your luck with the tickets on the permanent banner. Support SSRs should be prioritised, and you can pick an SSR girl of your choice. Given how fast the reroll is, I'd advise on at least 2 Support SSRs; the rate up Produce SSR is very strong and is easy to do runs with. Later on, you can receive 2 SSR tickets through missions and such. Game8 has a tier list, and there's one in the fan discord for reference.
Events and Rewards
Events are the backbone of most idol/idol adjacent games, and Gakumas is no exception. It should be noted that the current event was extended when it was released as the devs noted that the original length (1 week) would be too short, and this was the correct decision. Currently, we are given a welfare SSR which can be fully uncapped. Still, it's rather grindy, especially given that Gakumas is fully manual. The event shop is good and provides decent materials for you to grab, but the jewel rewards, while not terrible, leave something to be desired. Of course, it can be argued that we're still in the very early days of service, so hopefully we're given more ways to gain currency. 50 for daily, 200 for weekly. You get a sizeable amount of jewels in the beginner missions/early achievement unlocks.
PVP
Thankfully, negligible. You get a small amount of rewards but if you're like me and detest it, it's easily ignored. Kind of ironic given that the original Idolm@ster (I mean the old 2005 arcade game) had PVP as a prominent aspect but I'm more glad than anything I can ignore it lol
Graphics
Honestly, QualiArts's strength is in the character models and they don't pull any punches here. Idoly Pride, their previous game, has very good looking models that photograph and move well in their 3DMV mode, and their track record continues here. There's been a lot of buzz on JPTwitter about how Gakumas's models can stand up to extreme zoom, and it's not unwarranted. I'm running the game on my 2020 iPhone SE and other than overheating after an hour of play or so, it runs well on high graphics. Has an 60fps option as well.
Music, voice acting
No big name seiyuus here, but the girls are all voiced very well. Each girl has a signature song, with one (Temari) receiving another in lieu of her rate up banner, so we're assuming that with each rate up, each girl gets a new song. For their music, Gakumas brings in a wide variety of people, from the popular Vocaloid producer Giga, to Arthur Verocai, a famous Brazilian arranger, which reflects in the quality and range of their songs. They're all on their official YouTube channel here. My personal favourites are Sumika's 'Tame-Lie-One-Step' and Rinami's 'clumsy trick' to name a few.
Charmingly, the girls's final performances alter on how successful your run was. If your run was not so great, they will dance poorly, sing poorly (afaik seiyuus recorded separate "bad singing" tracks) and their facial animations will look stiff.
TL:DR Like UmaMusu in many ways, but isn't a shameless copycat; it understands how the formula works and why, and builds on it to create a solid foundation. The game is generating a lot of positive attention in JP, and while Idolm@ster is notoriously unported to the Western speaking world, Gakumas is by far the most accessible entry yet.

I was baptized Orthodox and my family raised me up with this background. Life became messy and I have been in a protestant country for a long time now. I've spent a lot of my faith alone with God, no church etc. He has taught me many things on how to live. I have consumed a lot of online material, lots with western/protestant origin. Some of it helpful, others less so.
At a younger age, I messed up my lifestyle and didn't trust God's plans - though I still believed. Some years later I prayed for Him to help me and to do it His way, since I was more than done. My life really changed after that. I continued my consumption of online material, to support my faith and walk. This is where it got messy.
My experience clashed with the protestant presentation of salvation/born again/baptism etc. Because in that system I don't know what I was during my period of heavy disobedience. As if only now have I come to God for the first time, so you have to get baptized etc. and refer to this event as "becoming" christian. But I was already so, even during those times I knew God. So it doesn't make sense.
While trying to figure out how my experience/life with God fit into this system - I got introduced to even more "new" strange theories, theology etc. I realised how fragmented it is, and how many distinctions there are. Simple congruent concepts get dissected into several parts, then people take each part to argue against the other parts. Semantic wars, or arguing fowith concepts that are already in error by origin.
This is also where I first found out about calvinism, which led to some weird down spiral in my faith. Add up with "___ go to hell" sign street preachers etc. YouTube prophets, gigantic copy-paste of bible verses etc. In the end I was angry with things, not even wanting to read the bible because of how I saw people using it. Peace was nowhere to be found, everything was contradictory and confusing.
For instance, I never understood "read the bible read the bible read the bible" - As if people read it, then things start happening automatically. In my eyes it was a lack of separation between material and spirit, as I often see it happening. You can know the "theory" of the bible and how parts reference to each other etc. But if you don't understand the heart of it, and what it tells you of the character of God, what use does it have in your life, or relationship with God?
Everything is stuck in a juvenile stage, where the mindset and logic you apply to a new convert's first year of faith - is still used 10 years later for some reason. "Sola ___" so everyone is an expert also, but they all find ways to disagree with each other. Additionally, weird habit of goofy non-serious vibe in pentecostal/charismatic leaders/"elders" - Concert followed by stand up comedy. Revivals left and right, everyone is a hero - yet no major changes around us, on a bigger scale. Why? If everyone is a healer, why have I not seen one healing? Why do I have a feeling we are roleplaying, is my faith broken? So many logical inconsistencies that it left me angry, feeling like something is wrong with me.
Why do these leaders hurt me with suspicious looks or something I don't know. Unwelcome.
Then I remembered that the most sane and wise teachings I have heard have been from orthodox monks or priests. So now that I stopped leaning too much into protestant/reformed understandings, I fall back on orthodox understandings/logic. I don't have turbulence in my faith anymore. Things can make sense without contradiction, and there are not 30 guys waiting to argue with a different viewpoint, with 60 others behind them doing the same. Now I can zoom out and lump all the fragmented confusion into protestant/reformed, it makes sense.
I hope Lord Jesus will take care of me, and show me where I am wrong, where I am right. After being stagnant, I asked Him to teach me more, and I have ended up with this current understanding. I had asked Him many times, "if you are not the cause of confusion, why am I so confused all the time" - maybe the problem was that I was looking in the wrong places.
Not entirely sure what happens from now, but I will trust God.
Blessed be the Lord, the one who has seen me and loved me, who did not condemn me when I was angry, yet understood my heart, and showed me compassion.

This is my last post till next summer. -I have made a compilation of some arts and sketches i haven't found cringe. Eeveelutions previews, fluffy march and tons of sketches in original resolution. Feel free to use them as wallpaper or something. Aviable to everyone at boosty, without login and free of charge :) https://boosty.to/yanzihko/posts/da75639a-f2bb-4936-b6d9-8187b75edfb1?share=post_link
-I have updated my rimworld mods to 1.5. ENJOY them while i will bulk up like crazy 1.4 archive is here https://github.com/Yanzihko/Yanzihko_Rimworld_Mods/tree/main/1.4%20Public%20Archive
-Check out my starsector mod, a collab between me and a Java guru Confer0. He's not on this server, but feel free to ask him questions at the forum. https://fractalsoftworks.com/forum/index.php?topic=29929.0 -Stellaris, i'm burned out of it. But SDS is still compatible with current game versions, I am sorry.
-I'm sure i will continue drawing after army. It's one year, not enough time for my brain to degrade into single cellural organism. But next time, i will get to more "serious" projects. There's enough concepts, draft and ideas for a whole franchise, lmao. Living through harsh times also boosts creativity for some reason, life experience as they say . Most likely, i won't make mods anymore, but i will try to maintain existing ones. We will see. I think i have said everything. Good luck to me fellas and goodbye

INTRODUCTION

Hello there. As you may know, for the past couple of years we've been hearing a lot of complaints about how Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach was ruined by the cuts. While I don't deny that a lot has been removed, I feel like there is a lot of misinterpretation when it comes to what FNaF: SB was really meant to be.
I'll be working with a lot of the information that's already known in the datamining community, but for those who are new to cut content, I will still try and highlight the crucial points.
The actual description of what Security Breach was supposedly meant to be is listed in the paragraph "SANDBOX CUT", but before that we have to take apart the elements that are falsely perceived as cut content. It's important to know what we are working with.

THE FALSE PERCEPTION

Online, you can find a lot of videos about the version of SB's story that we never got to experience. Was Freddy meant to betray you? Did Vanny have a bigger impact on the story? A lot of it mainly comes from the trailers. And that's an important point to explore.
1. The Teaser Trailer
Altered or not, most of the areas in the teaser trailer are still in the game. But it's Vanny's dialogue that has caught everyone's attention.
More lines of hers can be heard in the NVIDIA RTX Demo as well. Minus "I See You". That one was confirmed to not be hers.
This version of Vanny was voiced by the actress Stacey Young. And during the casting Vanny was labeled as the Metal Femme Fatale. Hence the robotic undertones and alluring motif of her voice.
But the most important part is that Vanny's dialogue was never as extensive as Gregory's, Freddy's or even Vanessa's. As confirmed by Stacey Young herself, the script never exceeded a page. All the dialogue we hear in the trailers might as well be everything that Vanny has ever had.
https://preview.redd.it/im5dzbtfy13d1.png?width=735&format=png&auto=webp&s=a87bff97986c5dcd791d7e7aa9a9078925a14b78
With that in mind, "Gregory, your friends are worried about you" — the one line that has caused a lot of discussion — may not have much significance at all, as it is akin to the lines other characters say in the game — "I bet your family is worried about you", "Let me take you to your parents". When neither of these statements are true. And just exist to lure Gregory out.
But what about the children's roles on Voices.com? (For the record, Voices.com is the website Scott uses to hire actors.) Well, perhaps we should consider that it may not be a bunch of kids, but just one. Gregory.
Each name you see on Voices.com isn't a character, but a role title. And just because someone appears on the review board doesn't mean they were indeed casted or meant to stay. Take Vanny for instance. She had two different roles with different direction and casting. The "Reluctant Follower" by Jessica Tang who then became the "Metal Femme Fatale" by Stacey Young.
The children seem to be one and the same. Kid in the Box, which may be referring to Gregory in the stomach hatch. What a Sweet Kid, No Evil Intentions, who is described to be a little boy calling out to his friend. I've seen interpretations of this kid being Gregory's lost friend or Vanny trying to lure him away. But perhaps the truth is more simple. Calling out for his friend is what Gregory does the entire game — Freddy, are you there? Freddy, I'm trapped! Freddy, this. And Freddy that.
There is also "Kid on the Run! This is a bad situation", who certainly resembles Gregory with the title alone. But the important detail here is that there were not one, but two castings for Kid on the Run — Male and Female. Similar both in the title and the amount of dialogue. Bear in mind, Male and Female doesn't indicate a gender of the character, but the actor. It appears Scott couldn't find the proper match for the role, hence the amount child actors who were attempting to fill in the spot.
The idea that there were many kids was born as a combination of these roles as well as Vanny's statement in the trailer. But given that Vanny's dialogue was a one-liner with no further elaboration, like the ones other enemies have, this concept may be a misunderstanding, especially considering that the flow of the game was already set in stone.
In the trailer, we can note a few things. For one, the map was mostly complete. At the very least, structurally. And the key points of the game were already in works. You can see the compactor reserved for Chica's Boss Fight, Fazer Blast arena used in the minigame as well as the Winner's Lounge where you get the blaster. The catwalk and the stairwell of Vanny's Hideout are also included, which are a part of the Vanny Ending. Plus we are shown the Loading Dock and the Lobby Entrance, meaning the gameplay was always focused on looking for the exit.
https://preview.redd.it/l7qhcqekz13d1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=c268ad86b36438580e149e6539ba763da4fa57a6
We will explore the building structure and how it ties into the gameplay further down. But to lock the discussion of the teaser trailer, I have to mention a few elements that were solely designed for the trailer.
• Vanny in the Loading Dock. The shadow you see in the Loading Dock scene isn't a part of the gameplay. It has been added for the trailer, as it is listed in the data for the cinematic camera. (Which produces a planning shot seen in the trailer.)
https://preview.redd.it/g4pmbpwqz13d1.png?width=209&format=png&auto=webp&s=a88dcff323153bb363dc8bd9734570d4bea48018
• Moon in the Kitchen. This one is easy to disprove, as this animation is literally in the files and is labeled "Marketing", implying it was only for the teaser. But did you know that this scene was initially supposed to tease Monty, with him walking past the kitchen?
https://preview.redd.it/kqcgg4bsz13d1.png?width=676&format=png&auto=webp&s=86033756652a8a9a5d017c3b9eeddc623aab188e

1. The Gameplay Trailer

Now we got to the more interesting part, but I guess I don't need to write an essay about its implications. You have Vanessa helping you, you have Burntrap's dialogue and many different cutscenes. So what's the debate here?
The important detail is this — the trailer was not made by Steel Wool. As confirmed by one of the workers, it was Scott who scripted it. The dialogue you hear may have never been in the game. It's certainly not in the files or any of the cut subtitles.
And the reason I'm highlighting the fact that it's made by Scott is because we've seen him add dialogue that never appears in the game and is just used as a teaser.
"You don't know what we've been through" and "Don't hold it against us" are the ones everyone has heard of. But did you know that Scott also planned the second Sister Location trailer that included a dialogue, which was never intended to be in the game, despite being crucial for the story? That's right, initially the cutscene with Afton's interview was just for the trailer. The only reason Scott put it in the game instead is because he thought it was too spoiler-heavy.
Even the trailer for RUIN has Gregory's monologue that never ever occurs in the actual game. Nor was it supposed to, seeing how the game has barely anything cut.
The trailer is also said to include cinematics, not just gameplay. And that's where we start dissecting the footage.
Specifically, the scene of Vanessa in the Prize Counter, leaning on the elevator. And what I am going to tell you is this scene could never occur in the game. It only existed to showcase Vanessa.
https://preview.redd.it/o9vpmggc023d1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=fd020dc58597a92acf86c7bc8ccfdad56575a8ea
It's a bold statement. How do we know that? It is all in the movement of the elevator. Note where it's going, or rather from where. It goes past the Prize Counter, which would never be possible, given there was no fourth floor. Technically, there still isn't, despite what the current map and fakelevators try to convince you. There are no volumes, no lighting, nothing to imply there was anything physical above Prize Counter.
The point is that the elevator comes out of nowhere, going past the Prize Counter, indicating that it isn't a real in-game footage. In the next part we will cover more concerning Vanessa's status in the game.
Peepaw, you know you aren't allowed upstairs.
And let me bring up another scene that highlights how the trailer was never supposed to perfectly reflect the gameplay. That would be the scene of Burntrap in the West Arcade. Some may argue that perhaps his boss fight was meant to happen there, but no. From the concept stage, the Sinkhole has always existed at Roxy Raceway. Even in the trailer itself you can see that the Raceway has been damaged, just like in the final game.

1. Vanessa the Ally and Freddy the Traitor

The theme of many videos, explaining the story that has been lost. However, I would suggest to dive deeper and actually analyze the content in the trailers and in the files.
Starting with Vanessa, we hear her helping Gregory and trying to get him out of the Pizzaplex. But there are already inconsistencies present, including the scene right at the beginning of the game, with Gregory hiding from Vanessa. The same scene seen in the trailer.
The unedited maps and the location files dating as far back as 2020 suggest that the intro was the same. It is your main tutorial. And it sets up Vanessa as your enemy, despite her just doing the job of a security guard. She was never an ally to you.
https://preview.redd.it/82lgjxh8123d1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=091610d3ac59a80ff06d7db774375b1c89b20799
But what about the dialogue in the files? She sounds kind, as if caring for your well-being. That is true, but I encourage you to read it, then you may realize something that doesn't add up — none of her friendly voice lines add up into a coherent conversation. She is just luring you out! "Gregory, I can keep you safe" and "Please come out, I am trying to help you." Unlike Freddy, she isn't directly speaking with you. She is hunting you down, just like everyone else.
As for the element that's never considered in these discussions, a lot of the gameplay is location-based. And Lost & Found exists both in the digital maps and older lighting scenarios. Vanessa was always meant to catch you and lock you up in the Lobby, where you'd face Vanny for the first time.
Other discussions include whether Vanessa was a playable character at some point. Once again, based on the dialogue. But it all comes to the same issue. None of these are real conversations. They are scripted and recorded in one take, meaning nobody is seen replying to Vanessa. Rather, it is something you eavesdrop on while she is in a different room.

──────────────────────────

While there is more undeniable evidence for Freddy, the circumstances are unclear. Yes, Freddy is heard hunting you down and being evil, but people have different opinions as to when and where it happens.
The popular interpretation suggests Freddy was meant to betray you in the Vanny Ending. However, the other cut dialogue may contradict it, as Freddy is the one talking to you about using the console to defeat Vanny.
In actuality, Freddy's "betrayal" wasn't even cut. Thing is, it wasn't a betrayal at all. We see Freddy turning evil in the Burntrap Ending. And that's where the voice lines fit perfectly. The thing that sets it in stone are Evil Freddy's animations. Mainly the one where he searches under the tables. Remind you, the Vanny Ending doesn't have any tables at all. But the Burntrap one does.
https://reddit.com/link/1d277rq/video/3flrzaxy223d1/player

1. The Cut Maps Don't Matter

It's not like they don't at all, but we have to set the record straight. None of the cut areas are significant. That's why they were cut.
Most of them are just plain shortcuts or parts of extended challenges. Would being able to use a random corridor to go from the Lobby to Fazcade suddenly fix the game? Don't think so. And neither would getting the Faz-Cam by fixing a boiler in the Daycare basement.
But we can use older maps to see what did and didn't change in the progression through areas. And most of it is just the same things, only extended. The map didn't receive an overhaul, all the events are the same. Loading Dock and Kitchen, Prize Counter and East Arcade, the Backstage Office and Showtime, Parts & Service and the Endo Warehouse.
As we have addressed earlier, the game's story was never majorly altered. All down to Roxy Raceway being affected by the Sinkhole was planned from the concept stage.
https://preview.redd.it/u522e0ce323d1.png?width=1902&format=png&auto=webp&s=5e13a5e9c5881c0d338acd293533b2c8ae0bcf15

THE SANDBOX CUT

So what am I attempting to convey with the paragraph above? It sounds awfully like there was no oldebetter version of SB. Is that the point of the post?
Well, yes and no. The story and missions were practically the same, only with more steps at times. But most of the cut content breakdowns focus on the wrong thing, attempting to locate more events and scripted scenes that would expand on the story. But perhaps we should do the exact opposite.
What if I told you that the current version of SB is far more storydriven than anything that came prior?
So what is the Sandbox SB? Well, it's just a nickname for what appears to be the older version of Security Breach that had even more focus on gameplay than story. And its main distinction is lack of scripted progression. The Six Hour Countdown.
For the first time, it appeared in the gameplay trailer. You can see the Faz-Watch doing something that we never see in the final game — it's actually counting time. And not the scripted timestamps, but every single minute.
https://preview.redd.it/cgokc1qw423d1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=81858d46d7277b1a1f57e914be02677db58fd42b
But wait, there is more. We have the Intercom's voice lines, recorded back in June, 2020. Months before we got our first trailer. And there you find the following announcements:

• Attention all personnel. This is your last opportunity to leave the building before the scheduled maintenance lockdown begins.
• I repeat. This is your last opportunity to leave the building before the scheduled maintenance lockdown begins.
• Lockdown complete. All animatronics, please remain at your recharge terminals until recharge cycle is complete.
• Recharge cycle complete. Building maintenance and other custodial activities may commence.
• Recharge cycle complete. Building maintenance and other custodial activities may resume.
• It is now fifteen minutes until the hour. All animatronics, please return to your recharge terminals.
• It is now ten minutes until the hour. All animatronics, please return to your recharge terminals.
• It is now five minutes until the hour. All animatronics, please return to your recharge terminals.
• All animatronics should now be at their recharge terminals.

At the start of the game you also see an instruction card with a piece of outdated information. Telling you that Freddy can't be used again if he's out of power and you can only charge him at the end of the hour.
https://preview.redd.it/a7o4r1ff523d1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=502cfa1ff39c68069bc15e39ceabf3d18cd422e5
Which, obviously, is not true. Why would the tutorial teach you that? You can charge him anytime despite it practically colliding with the lore. Since we're told the recharge stations are specifically being powered at the end of the hour.
The game always reminded you about the time that's actively passing. This little detail — the active time flow — opens our Pandora's box of possibilities. It means that you could do virtually nothing and just wait for the gates to open.
But Steel Wool have thought of that, too. Not only do you need to pass the Daycare and meet Freddy not to fall victim to Moon, but you also have something else to care about, known as the Vanny Meter.
Well, some may recall Ray saying it was meant for Survival Mode. And he wouldn't be wrong, as it's the last place where it existed. But that's not the full truth, as the Vanny Meter is hardwired into the Story Mode as well. Ever seen Vanessa run away to the Atrium for no reason? That's the Vanny Meter in action.
https://preview.redd.it/8ffzwqed523d1.png?width=1507&format=png&auto=webp&s=701f7861d6c9229d5026d8ef85f56e73691f462b
Now, to those who don't know, Vanny Meter is a special feature that reacts to your movement. The more you idle, the more it fills up. If you stand still for a while, Vanessa gets triggered. She runs towards a large bathroom and there she becomes Vanny. For one, it implies Vanessa must have patrolled the map since at least 1 AM. For two, the main purpose of the Vanny Meter is to make sure you don't leave the game running in the background while you are gone doing chores. No cheating allowed. You survive 6 Hours fair and square.
There are a few more things linked to the timer besides the Vanny Meter. Some of you may know about the Night Mode. The dark red lighting that appears to be the early version of the starry filter Moon has. These are the emergency lights. Just as Freddy said, at the end of the hour all the power goes to recharge stations. But do you know what happens if you activate Night Mode at 12 AM? Time starts going. Not in the Survival Mode, but in the plain Story Mode. Activating on its own.
https://preview.redd.it/ikmkj9hp523d1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=8e8bc1c79d4bb3e6775a4812b6c241b1242857d7
One more thing that caused a lot of commotion was the Plan A pop-up if you died at 6 AM. If someone still wonders what it is, the answer is right there in the files. And right here below.
Plan A [Mission]

The main doors open at 6AM

• Try to survive the night until the main doors open at 6AM

The doors are open!

• The main doors are now open! Head to the main entrance quickly!

Plan C [Mission]

Find the prize counter security office on the 3rd floor

• The Prize counter is on the third level above the main entrance. You should be able to escape there.

Find the door to the Security Office

• Look for the door with a security badge symbol on it.

Find another way into the Security Office
Take the security badge from the Security Office
Survive until Freddy shuts down the alarm
Find the VIP room at the back of the Prize Counter

• That security bot wont let you pass unless you are a VIP member. If you collect enough prizes he may let you in.

Plan B...
Well, it doesn't have an official mission breakdown, but it's pretty obviously linked to Loading Dock. Plus the trigger for it is signed accordingly.
https://preview.redd.it/14nnl3a3823d1.png?width=809&format=png&auto=webp&s=8cdd51df3231058daea31ab3129ac7e3ddf86c25
Now. What makes these missions so special is the fact that they are no longer special at all. The idea of three plans implies you could follow one while neglecting the other, which is obviously impossible in the current game, since you are forced to follow Plan A in both cases. And nor can you decide to follow Plan A without collecting the badges for the Loading Dock Ending.
But what if it wasn't meant to be this way?
What if you could find a different exit before the 6 Hour mark? I believe this is the exact reason why these extra exits exist in the first place. If you are skilled enough, you could finish the game way sooner.
It wasn't a step-by-step story, like RUIN. It was a gigantic mall simulator where you are the moving force of the plot. This is the reason why everything feels so forced and unmotivated.

• Why do I have to go into the building if I can just wait for 6 hours?
• Why do I have to destroy the Glamrocks if that was never the plan?
• Why can't I just hide and wait?
• Why do I have to put myself in danger?

Well, you don't. And that's the true meaning of the Sandbox SB. The idea of surviving the night your way, while it's your curiosity, greed or bloodlust that push Gregory to survive, collect and fight.
It's a big sandbox puzzle where you look for anything that could aid in your motives, whether you just want to live till dawn or play detective and uncover all the secrets of the Pizzaplex.
Another important element of the Sandbox is the way enemies act. As you may have noticed, SB did something to the bots that changed them forever. Their pathing was limited. They can't walk away, even though that's their design. The natural state for the animatronics and Vanessa is to freely circulate around the map without obstacles.
Couldn't get a shot, but Chica is sometimes seen getting stuck in this corner. She wants to go outside. Through a phantom door.
That's why sometimes you can notice Chica get stuck at Customer Service locker room. She attempts to go off the rail and go through a shortcut that no longer exists. That's why Vanessa runs into a wall and disappears, as she can't reach the Daycare bathroom to become Vanny. That's the reason why the map is flooded with Security Bots, as the Glamrocks could walk to the far end of the building.
And that's why the map had so many various corridors, airlocks and passages. No elevators, no loading screens. Only the steady circulation of animatronics and Vanessa around the premises. The enemies could pick shortcuts and circle in on you. Or instead you could use a different exit and not end up in a dead end. That's why the large and interconnected web of Utility Tunnels used to exist. It was a reward. As you upgraded Freddy and opened more gates, you could then unlock more underground ways to reach your destination without the need to face the Glamrocks patrolling all the areas upstairs. Just like Freddy tells you at the start of the game: Utility Tunnels are the safest path. And they were intended to get you anywhere you want.
https://preview.redd.it/63gvpfata23d1.png?width=2500&format=png&auto=webp&s=452983eaf0a430358b5f3261a2e0bf4d0796fc34
https://preview.redd.it/43cfthuta23d1.png?width=2500&format=png&auto=webp&s=49b9796e2dc4161d17d1c79961a89bb1aa85ecab

RAY'S INTERFERENCE

So what exactly happened with this version of the game for it to just cease to exist? Well, if it wasn't obvious enough, it didn't run. Maybe it did without lighting and with the high end hardware Steel Wool tested it on, but once the last gen consoles and computers rolled into the picture, everything started crumbling. Though even the last gen appears to have a bit of a hard time with the game.
Steel Wool put all their eggs into one basket, so the handle snapped. And all they were left with was an omelet. The game was unable to seamlessly load the areas without stuttering, which led to the creation of the elevators and map division. Their most prized mechanic has fallen. The enemies and the player could no longer freely roam the building without being stopped. It's not like they didn't try to keep the map's integrity though. In the files, you can still find the special gates that you needed to push (E) to go through them and load the next area.
There's also high probability of other errors linked to the concept. Like what if the hour ends while you are in the Boss Fight? Besides it's very likely that a lot of the missions, dialogues and areas still weren't finalized. Time was scarce. And Steel Wool needed to do something fast. Perhaps that's where Ray McCaffrey comes in.
I don't consider myself a conspiracy theorist, but how strange is that that Steel Wool gets a new producer in June, and that's exactly when the game gets labeled a Pre-Alpha as opposed to V1.0 that it was called just at the end of last month, May. There are two possibilities.
May 20th 2021 - The game is Version 1.0.
August 19th 2021 - The game reverted to Pre-Alpha. What happened in those couple months?
A) They came to realization that the game was raw and unworthy of being called V1.0.
B) Or the version I consider more interesting. It changed, because this is no longer the same game. The game that was 1.0 is no more.
The Sandbox SB has been cancelled, be it by Ray McCaffrey, Jason Topolski, Andrew Dayton or the whole team. What was now born is The Scripted Security Breach. The linear gameplay formula with scripted events. Sandbox SB was in development for years, so it was a Version 1.0. Scripted SB was just born, so it became a Pre-Alpha.
Believe it or not, Ray may have saved SB from either being delayed again or being cancelled. For instance, he was the one to call and hire Marta Svetek (Gregory, Roxy, Vanny VA), whom Ray knew from previous work experience. But the development still wasn't in a good place, as the dialogue was being recorded even after the release date announcement. Not to mention that there was no public casting call for Gregory, Marta was asked to fill in this spot, despite not being interested in child roles. She still managed to pull it through and now nobody imagines these characters without her. But it is clear something is not right when you, without arranging the usual casting calls, get an actor to do three characters at once, left alone a character they didn't even want to voice.
https://preview.redd.it/bodcw5kxd23d1.png?width=4115&format=png&auto=webp&s=0a48191a120e0dd1e275c491f8b49f660b4c8827
Even then, Steel Wool never gave up on Sandbox SB. To some extent. They attempted to salvage what they had and revive it in what we now know as Survival Mode. Survival Mode isn't just a random feature. It is the remnants of what Security Breach was attempting to do, minus the story bits. The 6 Hour Sandbox mechanics were presented in a more simple mission to collect gifts scattered around the map. But even that has proven too much to handle. And thus, the tale of The Sandbox Cut ends here. The epic tale of love, hate, bloodshed and overambition.
Well, it had a bit of a continuation. Steel Wool wanted to include a Survival Mode in RUIN, but never went through with it. Whether it is for better or for worse is unclear, but only time will tell.

THE AFTERMATH

The Security Breach we have now feels incomplete not only because of the cut missions and mechanics, but because it's one game impersonating another. Trying to be something that it isn't.
While I do believe this old route of progression would've made the game feel more complete, I still wish for the series to focus more on the story and its underlying themes. Come on now, we have a series of amazing books and short stories with thought out characters and unraveling mysteries, while the games get only a fraction of that in a form of scavenger hunt. I feel like RUIN was a step in the right direction. Surely, it has a lot of kinks to work out, but if the trend continues, eventually we'll get something truly special.
I would like to thank everyone for reading. I would also like to mention the Technical FNaF Discussion, which is full of talented people who helped to build the steps to this possible solution to the biggest mystery of Security Breach. And thanks to Pizza Gamer for some of the illustrative content seen in this post. Much obliged. See you next time. Toodles.

I (29F) and bf (29M) have been together for 2 years. Our relationship started out strong, we had a lot of the same preferences, hobbies and we both had active lifestyles, but it started slowing down after 8 months. He was very affectionate, caring and respects my boundaries a lot. I had some experiences in the past where I was forced to do sexual favours that I didn’t feel comfortable with, however, with my current boyfriend, we took things slowly, and over time, I was able to gradually open up to him. It was the first time where I actually felt safe with another person to be intimate with. He has been my rock through tough times ever since I was laid off from my job due to an organisation restructure. I’ve been applying on a daily basis and he has supported and been very encouraging to me. He has always been optimistic and tries to look at the bright side of things.
Extra context: We live separately and 60% of our dates he provides. We have been going with low to zero cost on dates the past year since we’re both trying to save on money for a car. I see him once a week most of the time, sometimes once every 2 weeks for a few months straight.
After a few months of dating, I noticed he was late most of the time when we planned to meet up. I would always be there 15-20 minutes early since I dislike being late. It feels like I’m not respecting the other person’s time. Sometimes I would need to wait from 15 mins to 1 hr, and there was a time where he was late 3 hrs to a dinner we were supposed to attend together with friends (thankfully, I was waiting at home for this one). When I met his friends and family for the first time, he didn’t introduce me to anyone until a few hours in (or not at all, since the interaction was quite short) and I felt a little out of place. I’ve introduced myself to others instead and once that was established, a few hours later he would introduce to everyone that I’m his gf. There were times where I didn’t know if they were his family or not and was unsure how to address them (There’s a specific naming sense for each person in the family in my culture and they did not speak English) and we end up parting ways not knowing who each other were. It just feels like I’m an afterthought in these instances.
In the beginning, my current bf was very affectionate. When he reached out, I always responded back and when I ever seeked affection, he would always respond in kind. But now when I reach out, it’s either not reciprocated or it feels half-baked and he pulls away very quickly. It almost feels like he doesn’t want to touch me. He gives weak hugs where his hands will just dangle in the air while he’s leaning towards me. When I hold his hand (interlocking), his fingers just dangle. When we kiss, he kisses me like a woodpecker, where each jab just starts to hurt. When we cuddle, it’s only me cuddling up to him, there’s no reciprocation at all–I just lie down on his arm or chest while he goes starfish mode. I shower everyday, put on deodorant, some perfume and new clothes every time I meet with him. I’ve asked him if I smell and says that he doesn't smell anything at all aside from a bit of my perfume so it’s not a hygiene problem. I ask him if there’s anything he’s stressed about, and he would say he’s having a chill day. His job allows him to have flexibility and he’s able to finish all his 8 hr work into 1-2 hrs. The rest of the time, he would be on his computer browsing the internet.
When I went over on the weekdays, I feel like I’m being treated like an afterthought. We’ve had this conversation before and he doesn’t see it that way. He sees that he gives me 50% of his attention and 50% of it to the computer. I understand that he’s busy researching the next best stock or being more informed through YouTube videos but 90% of the time I’m there on the weekdays (after he’s done work), he’s looking at the computer more than anything and expects me to cook his lunch for him. This is one of the main reasons why I stopped visiting his place during the weekdays.
We used to have sex once a week in the beginning and it has now died down to once every 3 months. I have initiated almost all the time. Even before I got comfortable with him, I would initiate and please him since I wasn’t confident showing myself to him yet and I loved seeing my partner get off. Once I got comfortable and he realized that it actually takes longer than 5 mins to please me, he stopped trying. It feels unfair how he always gets to get off but I have never once came. There have been so many instances where we would do the deed and once he came, he would pull out, clean up and leave to watch videos on his desktop. There’s no cuddling, no aftercare and it just makes me feel like a used sex toy rather than a partner. At some point, I realized that I wanted to be intimate with him more and more because that’s when I actually felt desired and there was reciprocation. There were no more little moments of affection in our everyday lives anymore and this was the only time when he kisses me passionately and holds me tightly.
He still checks in, gives me encouragement and respects my boundaries but I just feel so unloved. My love language is physical touch and this is something that I’ve mentioned to him while he gave me what his is. Ever since he told me what his love language is, I’ve been doing more of it in hopes he would reciprocate mine. I don’t know if I’m just being needy or if I should just back away since it doesn't seem like he enjoys it. I’m reaching out here to get some advice on how I can start a conversation with him since I’m not the best at speaking or leading conversations. I’ve had a heart-to-heart conversation with him about this once before and I feel like I might be a broken record if I mention it a second time.
TL:DR; Boyfriend being less affectionate and I would like advice on how to address it in a conversation or am I just being needy?

Chapter 1: The Vision
Mineta was laying bed as he was have a dream, but this dream soon became a nightmare.
(In The Dream)
Mineta was crawling through a vent as he came to his target, a small child was crying as Mineta opened the vent as he climbed down and the kid became scared.
Mineta: Shhh-.
The kid looked at the wall to show that there was a button there as Mineta walked up to it and pressed it. In that second the alarm went off as the child disappeared and the room turned red as the door opens up to reveal three monstrous creatures like aliens approached him. Without hesitation Mineta shot the two of the aliens and was about to shot the last one but was to slow as the alien shot him first. As Mineta struggled to get up to kill the creature, the creature knocked the gun out of Mineta's hand as Mineta looked up at the alien as it swung its blade down.
(Waking Up)
Mineta Scared: AHHH..inhale..exhale..inhale..exhale..it's coming.
Mineta looked at his clock to see that it was 5 in the morning as he gets dressed and looks himself in the mirror as a serious look is on his face.
Mineta: I need to prepare for what's to come.
Mineta grabs his room key and head to the commen room as half of the class was already up. Mineta didn't pay them no mind as he grabs a water bottle and was about to leave until Kirishima stopped him.
Kirishima: Hey Mineta where are you going?
Mineta:The gym to train, I'll be back later.
Mina: Your just going to spy on the girls in the locker room.
Mineta: Mina to be honest, you girls are not important right now, and after today you never will be, good bye.
Mineta left the room as everyone was left shocked by his comment, it didn't take long until one of the classmates spoke up.
Tooru: Did Mineta just basically say that he wants nothing to do with us?
Momo: I..I think so but for some reason I'm not happy about it.
Bakugou: Did you see the look in his eyes, he looks like he's preparing for war.
Midoriya: Your right Kacchan, but what can we do?
Tsuyu: I'll go talk to him, maybe he'll open up to me.
Tsuyu left after Mineta to see what's he up to but when she got to the gym Mineta was already lifting thirty pound weights.
Tsuyu: Mineta can I talk to you, Ribbit?
Mineta lifting weights: Sure Tsuyu but I'm a little busy so I'll talk while I'll train if that's ok.
Tsuyu: Um..sure anyway I was coming to ask you what you mean by "You girls are not important right now, and after today you never will be." Are you giving up on us as your girlfriends or something?
Mineta as he still lifting weights: Ok I'll tell you but whether or not you believe me see up to you.
Mineta explains his family's legacy and the burden it carries and he explains about the the he had and that he needs to prepare for it.
Tsuyu shocked: Wait so your saying you and your family are a part of a Ancient Guardians that are swarn to defend the Earth.
Mineta as he puts the weights down: Yes and then there's the Child.
Tsuyu: What?
Mineta Serious: The Child is the key Tsuyu.
Tsuyu Confused: I don't Understand Mineta?
Mineta Serious: I don't expect you to, he'll I don't understand, not completely but all I know is the child is the key. Tsuyu I have to keep training because me and my siblings are the only members of the Fireseed bloodline left, if we die the lineages die, if there is not a Turok to claim the mantle the balance will alter and if that happens...
Tsuyu scared: WHAT, what will happen, Minoru please tell me?
Mineta Serious:...Oblivion, Tsu I'm sorry but I need to get back to training and please don't tell the other's ok I'm trusting you.
Mineta said as he continued training as Tsuyu nods her head and leaves with worry in her heart because in all the time she knew Mineta she's never seen him so serious before as she walked back into the dorms as the class asked if she gotten any information.
Tsuyu lying: He just told me that he wants to work on himself to do better, and I'm ok with that, Kroc.
Mina: So he wanted to become a better hero and person, but he was putting off a serious Ora.
Tsuyu still lying: That's all he told me as he was lifting thirty pound weights, Kroc.
Kirishima smiling: Thirty pounds, that's more then his normal five to ten pounds weights he does so manly. I think I'll join him.
Midoriya: I'll go It's my training time as well, you coming Kacchan?
Bakugou: Fine but only because I'm not going to be passed by you Deku.
The guys leave to join Mineta in the GYM as the rest of the class stayed in the dorms, Tsuyu with worry in her heart tried to take her mind off of the thing Mineta told her and wondered if it was another prank that Mineta was scheme but the fact remains that Mineta was serious about it to much as she sat on the couch until her focus was interrupted by her friends.
Uraraka worried: Tsu are you sure that's all you and Mineta talked about, you look worried.
Tsuyu Calmly: I'm sure, I'm just a little sad that Mineta is going to be like the rest of the boys.
Jirou: But ain't that a good thing, I mean no one to make pervy comments.
Momo: No more overbearing gifts.
Uraraka: No more pervy compliments.
Mine: No asking..to gang out?
Tooru: Um..so does that mean he's no longer going to be around us anymore?
Tsuyu sad: In a way we get what we want, but at what cost.
The girls started thinking about the situation more seriously because now the only one that actually gave them attention is now gone but maybe it's in their heads and there's nothing to worry about but unknown to them Tsuyu knows the truth and hope's it a lie as the day goes on.
[Three Months Later]
It's been three months since Mineta started changing his behavior and to say it showed was an understatement as Mineta grew bigger because of his intense training as he stands at five ft tall and his siblings have joined UA as Moxxie Mineta is the Hero's Historical Weapon Expert and Milly Mineta is a member of class 1A. The girls are having their normal Slumber party as class 1A and 1B girls ask Milly some questions.
Mina: So what's it little to have Minoru as a twin?
Milly: It's great, I love spending time and train with him.
Momo: Not going to lie how can he hit so hard, I was almost afraid he knocked my tooth out.
Milly: He holds his punches so he doesn't do to much damage, I remember the time when a rubber tried to hurt me on the way home from the store and Minoru hit him so hard on the face he broke the man's neck. He didn't get in trouble but it was self-defense.
Komori: So what about your older brother Moxxie, what's he like?
Milly: His amazing big brother, very protective and loyal, I just wish he would open up more
Jirou: You know he's extremely talented in weaponry?
Milly: I'm not surprised because he was in the military and is one of the best marksman in in his battalion, he's even trained me and Minoru to shot and Minoru is just as good as him.
The Girls Is shock: MINETA CAN SHOT?
Milly with a smile: Yep, to be honest I wished Minoru joined the military like my big brother but he's happy here so I'm happy.
The girls are surprised that Milly didn't want Mineta in UA, but are happy that she's happy for him as Milly's phone went off as she checked it...
[With Mineta in the GYM]
Mineta was in the GYM doing his set of chin ups as his phone goes off, he jumps down and answers it because it was his sister Milly.
(On The Phone)
Mineta: Sis what's wrong you normally text Mr when I'm-?
Milly: MINORU, MOX IS IN TROUBLE WE NEED TO GO.
Mineta: I'M ON MY WAY.
(Off The Phone)
Mineta hung up his phone and ran to the 1A Dorms and he sees Milly in her track as he gets in the passenger's side as they drive to Moxxie's home. Once they got there a gun shot was heard as both run inside to see Moxxie fighting with a Sentinel.
Milly Worried: MOX?
Moxxie Shots A Sentinel: You two get away from here.
Mineta Stands His Ground: No we're not leaving you.
Moxxie is Scared: It's to late for me, you need to get out now- (ZAP) OWW-(Turned To The Enemy) (ZAP) AHHH-.
Mineta/Milly: MOXXIE.
Moxxie falls to the bottom of the stairs as Mineta and Milly ran to his side.
Milly is sad: Mox's, oh god no please stay with us.
Moxxie is Weakly: You two need to go now.
Mineta is sad: We won't leave you.
Moxxie as he shows them a grenade with a sad smile: Not much of a choice little brother please go to 1A dorms.
The Sentinel's walk down the stairs as Milly and Mineta say their good byes as they leave the house with the Sentinels standing over Moxxie as the house explodes.
Milly is sad:...Mox
Mineta is sad: He saved us Milly, let's go to the dorms.
Mineta drove up to the dorms as Mineta holds Milly close to him as they go into the dorms as class 1A, 1B, and the Pros look at them with worry.
Aizawa is worried: Problem Child, what happened where's Mox.
Milly with a sad expression: He's gone, he sacrificed himself to save us..sob..it's not fair.
Everyone is shocked and sad by this information as Mineta puts his hand on Milly's shoulder with a serious but sad expression.
Mineta: Milly, he saved us for a reason and we will avenge him and kill them basturds.
All Might: Young Mineta's, there's no need to kill we can take them to just-
Mineta with a serious look: All Might, nows not the time for that, we just lost our brother so SHUT UP.
This caught everyone off guard because Mineta was serious to the point he yelled at All Might. Mineta calmed down and apologized for his outburst as a portol opened up as everyone got in fighting position as a women with blue armor step out of the portal.
Aizawa with red eyes: Who are you and are you a villain.
???: I'm not a villain, but I am here for last Two of the Fireseed bloodline.
Mina is Confirmed: Um..Ma'am there's no one with the last name Fireseed here.
Mineta With A Serious Look: That's me and Milly, hello Adon.
Milly With A Serious Look: We are ready to talk to The Council.
Nezu with a Serious Expression: You can't take MY Students with you unless you take The Pros, we don't treat you so let us come.
Adon with a calm expression: Fine, but you can not interfere with the Councils. Let's go.
This is only a Sneak Peek but I hope y'all like it a parody from Turok 3 Shadows of Oblivion.