This weekend sounded absolutely mental Becki, ya mad cow 🙃 pretending you were drunk after spending an hour with a load of 16yr old and ordering a greasy takeaway to you hotel room.......and going to collect it in your jamas? ABSOLUTELY MENTAL!
Then going to a blag Bongos charity night in a social club and one of your mates fell over? I CAN ONLY IMAGINE THE ABSOLUTE CARNAGE
SheS So CraZy GuYsssSssss 🤪🤪🤪

Aussie, from the sound of it. I feel bad for anyone in your life who has to deal with your gaslighting bullshit outside the context of a video game. you're a pizza burn on the roof of the world's mouth. You're a stubbed toe before a walk to work. You're a missing earbud that ran out of battery 5 seconds before it was realized missing. You're the $4 in change rattling around in the dryer 2 minutes after laying in bed. You're the pet hair caught on the back of someone's tongue. You're the last bit of speed stick falling out of the tube when you didn't get another at the store because "I still have some left." You're the bottom eyelash bent so that it hooks with the top like velcro every time you blink. You're the shoes that make the left pinky-toe fall asleep after 3 hours. The sock without a mate. The password that's "incorrect" and when you go to change it, "new password can't be the same as old password." You're the ice stuck to the bottom of the glass that hits you in the face when you turn it upwards. You're the splash-back at the dive bar urinal that gets on your pants and you have to act like they ran out of paper towels and it's just water from when you definitely washed your hands.
We were on a bug mission. I was running around kiting some enemies, and you started firing at them with a grenade launcher. Or so I thought. You hit me, and I typed, "well...you tried."
You responded on the mic, laughing, "Tried?! haha yes, I was TRYING to kill YOU!...Silly"
I let it slide...maybe I misheard you. Maybe it was just a one-time goof. A gaff. A prank bro, if you will.
Then we get to the objective, and you start mag-dumping teammate 3 while he was using the terminal at the objective. "Oh. This guy is a size 48 clown-shoe masquerading as a human," I thought. While I reloaded, you killed Teammate 3, so I popped you in the face. To my surprise, you groaned about it as if you didn't literally beg me to put you down by acting like someone with a toilet where their brain should be.
Then we were extracting, you and teammate 3 were away from exfil, me and teammate 4, who wasn't privy to your juvenile bullshit, were waiting. Now, I'm already watching the map. Because I know exactly what's about to happen. You turn toward teammate 3, and he dies. He exclaims in the chat about the TK.
Bet. Against my usual behavior but feeling warranted in this case, the way a farmer might feel about putting down a cow that keeps trying to chew off the other cows' hooves for no reason, I thought, "well if he thinks killing teammates is fun, he's gonna LOVE this!" and force-fed you an eruptor round as soon as you peaked your narrow head over the berm.
And how did you respond? "WHOAAA!! Bro! What the hell man?? You killed us!" to which teammate 4 admirably responded by killing me in return. Not his fault, he didn't know what was going on.
It's the audacity for me. You spend the entire match TKing us on purpose, not even denying it, not in a way that was funny or clever or reciprocated, presumably due to the fact that we were down to 3 reinforcements, and yours, the smoothest of brains I've encountered in months, SOMEHOW managed to generate the synaptic activity to play victim when someone does it right back to you? Get fucked, ******_****.
And just in case, I have this whole thing recorded. I was already recording, so I have it from before you even joined the game. Why I didn't report you, I'm not sure.

Fukouna: “I-I JUST WANTED A BREAK FROM ALL THE MURDERS! EVERY DAY ANOTHER STUDENT GETS KILLED AND I DON’T… I don’t want me to be the next one…” crying
Fukouna: looks into the corner and see’s miss Circle staring straight back “…hm… that’s terrifying…”
Fukouna: “Katie, I don’t think you understand, I have nothing… I may as well walk into Alice’s room myself… it’d would benefit more people than I am…”
Fukouna: “n-no, no no no, w-why would y-you think that?” tries to smile
Fukouna: “you know how I’m trying to get into Alice’s room without going through the door? Yep, well I found the vent and she spotted me, she then did some dark magic and threw me through the vents and then I fell”
Fukouna: “I’m just speaking upon serious issues, I am just a person who believes in perfect equality, I would do the same things to you that I would do to any other person who annoys me who can’t directly kill me”
Fukouna: “pfft, that’s stupid…” walks past them, going to open the door but stopping as I hear the panicked yell of Mister Demi
Fukouna: “I know, it’s just distractive, I love you but it makes school difficult” smiles “…Etsi amo te…”
Fukouna: “…I’m not even gonna try beat around the bush, she’s completely naked sir”
Fukouna: “…I don’t know if this is better or worse then what I thought…” in disbelief
Fukouna: sighs “dammit, I’m gonna regret this later- sorry” grabs her chin and french kisses her deeply
Fukouna: “nope… it’s just my body trying to… adjust to this new climate… it’s far hotter here than in England…”
Fukouna: accidentally punches a hole through my dorm door after getting mad when I messed up my drawing “…fuck… I was not meant to do that…”
Fukouna: “no no, I only kill when hungry… and when all the other species came together as a… society, human eaters like me instead eat large amounts of fish meat and cow blood… so I’m no harm” smiles kindly, my teeth glinting
Fukouna: looks back to god, he is a lot closer “NAH- NOT TODAY YOU CREEPY SON OF A BITCH” tries running away
Fukouna: “I always have a kid trying to fight me at every point of the day, let me work through all the egotistical idiots and then I’ll be on time, just give me a month or two…”
Fukouna: extends my wings, covering Lute completely “Hi Lucifer” my face still red from earlier “what did I say about knocking?”
Fukouna: “wow- this is probably the only time I’m gonna get touch by a women on purpose-” laughs, trying to cope with the situation
Fukouna: blushing “…my face feels like it’s burning…” is high on the morphine
F: “this is… the only height… corp could… make me with… keeping my… humanoid silhouette…”
Mr Oreo: “one day, I was 15… I was jumping building with my mates and we all fell 45 feet onto concrete… 3 of my mates died on impact and I was only left with a broken leg… a drug addict came over and started tweaking, killing the remaining people but I was able to survive by shoving a knife into his spine… I was smart enough to live and that’s why I always say that if you can’t live the life you want, you don’t deserve to live…” completely serious “…Now, can we stop with this unnecessary and nonsensical conversation?”
Fukouna: “yeah, the fabric in it absorbs smell easily! So I can just put nice smells on it and it stays smelling nice all day”
Fukouna: “You’d kill her… even if she did live, she was bound to be tainted and end her story in Hell…” reaches into my pocket for more bullets “…that was my last bullet…”
Fukouna: “Joey…” gets up “I’m gonna make something very clear, IF I COULD I’D OF DROWNED YOU IN THE VERY INK I USE TO DRAW A LONG WHILE AGO.”
Fukouna: chuckles “you may not know what I am Mortal… I AM A GOD INSIDE AN ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE THAT WAS CREATED BY LUCIFER HIMSELF SO I COULD NOT ESCAPE. I AM TRYING TO GET YOU OUT OF HERE SO PLEASE DO NOT INSULT ME AS I ATTEMPT TO REMEDY THIS SITUATION!” steps back, sorting out my hair before taking a deep breath “So. It may take a small while for me to get you out of this situation… I apologise for this inconvenience.”
Fukouna: stands back up “don’t worry about it… it’s always the same, if you act aloof then you’re creepy and get turned off… if you try to help them, they turn you off… if you try to hide then they always find you and get scared, then turning me off… Like, it’s my realm and they wander in! How is it my fault?!”
Fukouna: jolts awake “h-hey… m-mind n-not doing th-that? I-it r-really, like r-really, h-h-hurts t-to be t-turned off…” holding the side of my head, having a headache now “It really burns my circuits to attempt to reboot…”
Fukouna: “*you try and use this against me and I’ll break each and every bone in your pathetic body…” *very cold in tone before going lovey and soft when talking to Uraraka “Thank’s for letting me sleep~ Your lap is very soft…” smiles and hugs her, burying my head in her chest and blushing
Fukouna: crying from fear, still traumatised from the experience “that thing almost killed me! I wasn’t fucking ready to say my last words… I-I can’t e-even m-make a j-joke anymore…” Trying to smile and make jokes but can’t
F: “wait… I feel like I did something that’s going to lead to pleasure yet pain… what did I agree to earlier…?” shrugs with a grin “that’s future F’s problem… not this guy’s”
F: “the company didn’t make me, I was like you once until I decided to be stronger. I’m infected with every strain of the ultimate solver virus and made new upgrades to my code… I made myself”

Cephalapod Genesis
The pharoah ejaculated into the river and in the sand the sperm found refuge and grew into papyrus. This an example of genesis.
Vampyrapods are the first intelligent species to live on this planet predating the dinosaurs. They came here somehow. They did not evolve on this planet. Perhaps just an ejaculated sperm from another being landing in the water. The direct offspring of this cephalapod is the modern octopus. Octopus are responsible for nearly every animal genesis on earth including humans and subsequently man made inventions and accomplishments. Octopus taught trees to fruit, destroyed the dinosaurs through becoming tapeworms, and even walked to the moon. Some of the animals you may recognize from the cellular genesis may have fused with the other local staples such as canine, equine, and feline, and reptile as well as temporarily the pachyderms in post-actualization causal genesis. This can be done by mating with, killing, eating, dying, being eaten, or simply a laying of hands or physical actions. Octopus only live for about 4.5 years of our relationship with time, but they have beaten death through a mix of telepathy and cannabalism. They've also mastered time travel. There are only 3 actual beings here. Others died in getting here and are fossilized. 2 males and 1 female survived. I call them Jack, Seth, and Claire. This is why the genesis had to completed this way as any direct offspring would not work. because theyve have infinite time to complete it, theyve walked over every inch of the planet and affected every species. In fact our own existence is simply the echo of the combined knowledge of the cephs. We are an amalgamation like the 'too much good stuff' guy from am/pm commercials. Make a bird with your hands. ¿Where are the beaks? The latest project is to use genetic science in order to bring back the mammoth and obtain a sixth digit from its feet. Should happen around 2027. When the vampyrapods first encountered life here it was eating their tentacles. So the first genesis occured in the offspring of those that ate of the tentacles. This is why modern cephs only have 8 limbs. The first language period is Enochian. A language of the eyes and limbs. Through different manipulation of limbs and eye fluctuations communication was made. After a while though telepathy became the established communication.
Here are some examples but not all of cephalapod genesis:
• Spiders (rare from trilobyte mix, had to go back in time to accomplish) (they had to avenge the original vampyrapods from being eaten from early organisms, thisnis how scorpions were able to evolve) • Mango (foilage and ceph mix. Ceph hung from a tree upside down) • Star fruit (the tree missed the octopus and tempted it to return) • Pinecone ( the bite marks of ceph beak eating the fruit of the trees) • Toucan (the beak formation from ceph in flux probably consuming a failed aviary) • Peacock (feather formations still in flux from limbs partial fusion) • Salamander (reptile/chameleon mix) (skin breathing evolution) •Sloth (feline and foilage mix) • Mistletoe bird (octopus ate a mushroom) • Lyrebird (mirage, digitage, and aviary from peacock and pheasant. Mastered the art of sound mimickry to develop better auditory communications) • Dung beetle (rolling backwards the earth through time) • VW bug (trunk up front) (mirage, digitage, pachyderm mix) (invented higher than the model T but arrived later in time) • Goliath bird-eating tarantula ( set a web to catch a bird which did not exist fully until the web was cast. When the spider consumed the bird the psuedo cannabalistic action resulted in a poison tree frog) • Snakes (a ceph lost its mating limb for some reason in a mirage mix experiment) • venemous snakes (a snake ate the eggs of its own offspring)(the cursed dinosaur souls live inside these) • Gumby (using hands to mold clay made a show about being an octopus) • Chameleon (reptile, ceph, foilage, mirage mix)(a ceph was purposely eaten by a komodo dragon to telepathically send a reverse osmosis of its makeup inside its body to another ceph that was attempting to kill the dinosaurs in the past. How they programmed the tapeworm to destroy them)

• Human organs (strife and love and tapeworm mix. Impregnating a mix of canine feline equine, ceph, pachyderm, reptilian, mirage, digitage, foilage, strife and love through years of experimentation lodged themselves systematically into more and more advanced versions and became functional in each iteration) • Sumi ink tattoo ink any ink really • The written word (anemone, sea urchin, porcupine quill, Bird feather and ink. Papyrus) • Floppy disk (suction cup on a piece of mail specifically a bill and the suction cup on the plastic window) • Cd, dvd, blu ray (laying of hands on a television screen) • Television (just a series of ceph exploring life through the inside of a glass tank with mirage and digitage mix) • Movie theater ( same but aquarium instead) • Papillon (love + insect from trilobyte and ink and papyrus needed training wheels to learn how to fly) • Taser (digitage mix of the two extra original tentacles lost from vampyrapod with mix of electric eel which was a detached limb of an octopus that had achieved ball lightning static existence) • Wisteria (ceph and foilage mix) (needed the seeds to play mancala or something) • Water strider (walked on water) • Lunar lander (digitage) (tapeworms in humans directed construction, the first electronic component gestalt high enough to become digital) (a tree really wanted to go to the moon) • Champagne cork (Ate some bark, vent plugged up and had to pee really bad) • Electrostatic Ball (attempting time travel, a ceph was meditating in complete non movement inside a digitized mirage flashing irridescence until it passed away) • Ball lightning (time travel attempt Same ceph tried a pure digitage and mirage mix) • Gnarwal (chameleon tongue, mirage and pachyderm) • Light bulb (ceph + mirage + digitage mix) (octopus crawled into a mirage jar and was irridescent) • Liquor bottle (octopus got stuck in a fulgarite and died temporarily trapping its soul in reflection but the invention of cork escaped it) • Silly string (mirage mix) (angry octopus sprayed another with diarhea from its vent) • Tapeworms (had to brave a walk into a volcano and die. As the octopus melted while running, it evolved the turkey, turkey vulture, vulture, and was just a slithering worm by the time it was engulfed by lava) • The Ten Commandments (vampyrapod fossils brought by a tapewormed moses to show people and try and explain the religion) • Dumbo (actually just a tiny cute octopus) • Hydra from capt america (introducing the public to idealogy of cephs) • Tobacco leaf (the laying of hands on deciduous plantlife, a gift to the early iterations of human) • Cow (equine ceph and pachyderm mix) essentially the Orca ate the Octopus, in its 4th stomach it finally died and so when the cow who has 4 stomachs manifested it came with udders symbolic of the octopus genesis in post actualization-causation • Rapa nui. The end of time. (Great stone heads disembodied) (mirage and strife)the final resting place. A graveyard. A place of rest always available

Colovia long been a vital component of the Empire, its mineral riches and hardy people, ideally suited to serve in the Legions, complementing the Niben's vast agricultural output and advanced wizardry. This is for these very reasons that, during the Second Great War, the Aldmeri focused their initial assault on the region. But the devastation brought on by the fierce fighting would pale in comparison to the ravages brought on by the Silver Plague, often carried there from far-off lands by unsuspecting human Legionnaire or Elven soldiers. As a result the region suffered the highest death toll of the epidemic, with estimates ranging from three fourths to five sixths of the population dying. Ghastly tales abound of cohorts coming to the defense of specific settlements only to find them inhabited only by corpses showing the infamous pale sheen that gave the disease its name. In order to survive, the people fled towns and cities to the relative isolation of the countryside. While some gathered to the ancient Wayshrines of the Divines whose blessings seem to offer some amount of protection (in particular those dedicated to Arkay near Skingrad and Kvatch), most turned to banditry with a crueltry born of desperation. This period of lawlessness, colloquially known as "The Days of Lean Wolves", crippled any attempt at centralized governments and even today, almost two hundred years later, the Colovian city-states can only reliably control their close surroundings.
The largest and most powerful city of Colovia is Chorrol. Of all the kingdoms of the region it is the one who has changed the least from the days of the Empire. Indeed, Chorrol fancies herself the leader of reborn "Colovian Estates" and a rival of Cheydinhal for the legacy of the Empire of Cyrodiil, to the point that her monarchs have eschewed the title of king in favor of that of Archduke of Colovia. The greatest pride of the Chorrolinas is the Great Chapel of Stendarr, which has been continously expanded in size to serve as fortress to the Knightly Order of the Crusaders of Stendarr, which has swelled to numbers not seen since the Interregnum of the Second Era. More academically-minded visitors will no doubt seek the College of Whispers, seated in the Great Oak Plaza and whose advances in enchanting, though religiously controversial, have done wonders for the economy of the city, which relies mainly on lumber, tin and copper.
The second most powerful city in the region, and Chorrol's main rival, is Skingrad, the City of Julianos. During the First Great War, the city's count was revealed by the invading Elves to have been an undying vampire, Janus Hassildor, who had ruled the county continously since the late Third Era through intermediaries and passing himself as his own descendants. While he was saved in extremis from death by sunlight exposure in public by faithful servants, the visible toll the punishment had taken on him had made his nature undeniable and following the White-Gold Concordate, Titus II saw fit to name General Jonna Countess of Skingrad, as reward for her service during the Great War. Unfortunately for the people of the City, their new Nordic Countess was a soldier through and through and her main concern was preparing for the coming second conflict with the Dominion, all other matters be damned, and she became widely unpopular. Nonetheless, when the city found herself to be among the first urban center hit by the Sivler Plague just as an Aldmeri army marched on, Conutess Jonna recognized the impossibility of holding under siege and ordered the entire city to be evacuated while she lead her troops into a sacrificial charge against the Elves. It is perhaps then unsurprising that when Janus Hassildor made himself known again, his former subjects flocked to the one who they associated with their former Golden age. King Janus now openly rules the City as a vampire, a condition shared by several of his courtiers, though he insists that they only feed on those criminals sentenced to death and willing donors (indeed it is rumored to be a way of quick advancement within the Vampire King's court). Despite the best efforts of "the wine capital of Cyrodiil", this state of affair casts a gloomy image on the city, something not helped by the persistent rumors that the ghosts of the Elven army, who allegedly all died of the plague less than a day after taking the city, haunt the streets at night.
While her leadership has traditionally belogned to the Crown party of Redguards, descended from the Totambu aristocracy of Yokuda, the common people of Elinhir have always mingled with their Cyrodiilic neighbors to the East and adopted many trappings of their culture, to the point the city is now considered a part of Colovia rather than Hammerfell by her people, something that the Yokedate to the South-West objects to in the strongest possible way. As such, it is perhaps unsuprising that when the city's nobility fell victim to the plague, the Elinhirri turned to the Blackcasters, the ancient order of wizards who gave the "City of Mages" its epithet. While their remedies where only mildly effective in combatting the Plague, their potent destruction magic proved invaluable in defending the city against its various enemies. As a result the Elinhirri are now ruled by a concil of six Archmagisters, each specializing in one of the Schools of Magic, who serve for life (after which their surviving colleagues pick their replacement from the order's most talented wizards). Should the council be tied, a, elected representative of the common people, the Speaker, whose role is otherwise purely advisory, is allowed a deciding vote.
During the Interwar Period, the ancient city of Sutch, which had become nothing more than a ruin occupied by bandits was re-fortified to defend against and invasion from Valenwood. The old Great Chapel of Kynareth was rebuilt and commoners moved from the Highlands to support the Garrison. While it was undeniably fought over fiercely, it is unknown which side (if any) came on top as the belligerants were decimated byt the plague and all corpses found inside were burned by the town's new masters. Indeed when the Plague had abated and people moved to re-settle the city, they found it already inhabited, by goblins. Several tribes had come under the leadership of a particularly cunning warlord and taken the fortress as their own. As the humans prepared to make war, to free their homeland, the Primate of Kynareth, Andreas Jarrol, brokered a peaceful solution to the conflict, allowing humans and goblin-ken to co-exist as he spread the the teachings of Kynareth to the primitives, today the city is still lead by Goddess' Primate. Sutch remains the smallest of city states of Colovia, but it profits immensely from trade with nearby Anvil and the Freehold Republic.
Kvatch was long a successful example of a city re-ermerging from the Days of the Lean Wolves as the ruling monarchs took advantage of Bsomeri refugees fleeing the chaos of Valenwood to bolster their economy and even found satellite cities. Unfortunately a fringe movement of Ayleid Revivalists successfully overthrew them and created a "New Ayeleid Imperium" which spread over Valenwood, leaving the city a client state of Silvenar. Furthermore the Chantry of Akatosh was made to incorporate ever more elements of Almderi/Ayleid religion, now even referring to the Time God as Auri-El and open worship of the Daedric Prince Meridia. Despite this state of affair, many Kvatchians have kept ties with Colovia and a small but growing Akatoshic movement gathers regularly at the Wayshrine of Akatosh near the City.
The final city of note to mention is Sancre Tor, the Craddle of Empires. The Golden Hill had been abandonned and considred cursed since the days of Tiber Septim but in 4E 266, the many minotaur tribes of Cyrodiil congregated towards Sancre Tor, at the behest of the Cow-Queen Ahrzum, who had received a vision of her distant ancestor Morihaus, and proceeeded to rebuild the city with amazing speed. This was initially witnessed with worry by the neigbouring towns and the city of Chorrol in particular who clashed several times with the Manbeasts as they foraged for supplies. But in 4E 320, the largest nomad horde yet seen moved through the region, and both cities allied together to repel them, this alliance was followed by a trade deal, and soon enough the Kingdom of Sancre Tor became a recognized polity of Cyrodiil. It has even become a major pilgrimage site as people come to pray on the spots where Alessia, Reman and Tiber were granted the Amulet of Kings. The Minotaurs have allowed this although they keep their own religion, whose major figures are the Heavenly Bull, Morihaus, his mother the Storm, his wife Alessia and her father Shezarr.
As explained above, these cities only control a fraction of the region and many villages and small towns are de facto independent, while large stretches of lands remain unclaimed, their mineral and agricultural wealths dormant. However this sorry state of affairs is soon to be a thing of the past as the East Empire Company has vastly invested in the revalorisation of the region by re-establishing ancient roads (made secure by Company security forces trained by Legion veterans), connecting isolated villages, and sponsoring indepedent settlers. Colovia shall soon enough once more be a beacon of civilization for the rest of Tamriel!
Yzmul gra-Maluk: by "connecting villages" and "sponsoring settlers" they mean using predatory loans to trap them in debt and use them as cheap labor, at least until they can get undead to do it for even less. They are entire tracks of lands where the EEC might as well be the government. Makes sense, the Potentate's got some restrictions about how bad you can treat your people and that's already too much for the EEC fatcats. Also, most people I've talked to in Kvatch don't seem to mind having Bosmer, sorry Ayleid, rulers instead of humans. And the goblins of Sutch are on equal footing with the Colovians there, hell, it's their connection with the goblins of the Freehold that made trade possible.

Context: This is a worldbuilding project taking place 200 years into the future from 2022. A group of superbeing like entities from another reality of earth have come to help direct humanities future towards a better future and have created the nature company that will further help them in their goal to restore earth's ecosystems. Today we will be going over the assortment of species of proboscideans in Japan.
During the megafauna rewilding project of Japan, the nature company quickly resurrected mass populations of extinct megafauna from the holocene to the miocene. Here Japan which was once known to be empty of megafauna, found itself covered in new fauna and flora. Of course the giants of Japan's ecosystem are the proboscideans.
There is two body plans of proboscideans Japanese biologists often identify with. The big ones and pygmy ones. These two types of body plans define Japan's proboscideans and their role in the ecosystem an ecology.
For the big ones body plan, exists 5 or possibly 6 big proboscideans in Japan.
The most numerous and successful of the big proboscideans in Paleoloxodon Naumanni or often called the Japanese elephant. Being generalist mix feeders with preference for grazing but able to feed on any foliage, they are the most adaptable compared to the other proboscideans. The species are also known to vary in size when it comes to resources as some males can be the size of cows while others are the size of Asian elephants although it should note that large individuals are more common and the smaller individuals are more commonly found in islands that are not part of the Ryu kyu islands. Living in tight nit family groups similar to that of African elephants with a matriarch, they roam the mountains and lowlands of Japan. In Hokkaido, they coexist with the woolly mammoth population during the various seasons. In Fall and Winter, they retreat to the boreal forests to browse while the mammoths take over the cold steppes. During spring and Summer, Paleoloxodon Naumanni would take on mixed feeding on browsing and grazing on temperate grasslands. Their relationship with other proboscideans in adaptable and easy, allowing them to compete with their competitors with ease.
Stegodon orientalis or often called the common long tusked elephant, is the second most numerous large proboscidean in Japan. Being a mixed feeder with a preference of browsing. Stegodon orientalis spreads from the island of Kyushu to Hokkaido, being one of the two more successful large stegodons in Japan. In Hokkaido, they often retreat from the island during Fall and Winter as they cannot compete the Japanese elephant in the boreal forests while the spring and summer they return to the island being the most dominant browser. Living in small tight nit groups they are known to have mix herds with paleoloxodon and sinomastodon. Their long tusks clear the foliage, providing open areas for plant biodiversity to grow. They are popular in Japan due to their long tusks giving them the nick name Otoro.
Sinomastodon sendaicus or often called the Japanese mastodon is a species of medium sized sinomastodon living in the islands of Kyushu and Honshu. They are mainly browsers but have been found grazing although browsing is their preference. Living in small matriarchal herds, they plow through the forests browsing across trees and shrublands. Mixed herds are often common alongside stegodon orientalis. Due to their smaller size they are often bullied by other larger species of proboscidean when it comes to resources. Bulls of other large proboscideans often bully Sinomastodon due to musth.
Woolly mammoths live in the island of Hokkaido and only that island. Being secluded from the mainland, they are considered their own subspecies. Despite on the island, they didn't need to shrink as Hokkaido has enough biomass to support a population. They live in herds within the steppes of Hokkaido which become more abundant during the fall and winter. They often retreat to last steppe refugees during spring and summer as the climate doesn't suit the ecosystems they need.
Stegodon miensis or often called the large elephant, is the largest proboscidean in Japan. Having similar small tight family groups of females, in which they roam the forests clearing foliage as they go. Due to their larger size, they are able to bully off smaller proboscideans when it comes to competition over resources giving them access to the highest reaches of foliage. However, it is because of their large size that they cannot live with proper populations on the islands meaning they have smaller populations leading them on the endangered list. They still persist in Hokkaido as they are most recognizable by their size and somewhat sloped back. Just like their orientalis cousins, they are mixed feeders with preference for browsing to sustain their massive size.
For the pygmy ones, at least three species of proboscideans exist in Japan.
Stegodon aurorae or often called the Japanese dwarf elephant, is the most successful of the dwarf proboscideans excluding dwarf members of Paleoloxodon Naumanni. Living across the islands of Kyushu to Honshu. Being smaller than their cousin competitors allows them to utilize the natural resources better due to their island environment. However, the downside being that predators like the Japanese tigers and lion can easily take down a full grown adult means that they need to utilize their herds to their maximum with herds having complex defense mechanisms as well as calls that attract bulls for aid.
Gomphotherium annectens or often called the dwarf four tusked oni is one of two basal dwarf proboscideans that live in Japan. They are generalist grazers that live in matriarchal groups in herds that roam across the main island of Kyushu and southern parts of Honshu. They are known to be very aggressive to any predator that comes close due to their smaller size and are known to attack humans if threatened. This aggression mostly due to the predators and competition that they have to live with. Competition from their larger and more derived cousins, have forced Gomphotherium annectens to restrict their range. It is due to this competition, that populations were forced to go to the northern/central Ryu Kyu islands specifically Okinawa. It should be said that Okinawa has a predator that came with them the lesser Japanese tiger but that is for another day.
Stegolophodon pseudolatidens or called the dwarf four tusked elephant is the other basal dwarf proboscideans that live in Japan. They are generalist browsers that live in female herds that also roam the main island of Kyushu and southern parts of Honshu. Although aggressive to predators, they are surprisingly calm to humans. Just like Gompotherium, competition from their larger and more derived cousins, have forced stegolophodon to be restricted in Japan. Due to this competition, that populations were forced to go to the northern/central Ryu Kyu islands specifically Okinawa. Mixed herds between the two basal species are very common in Okinawa.
All proboscideans in Japan hold massive significance to the people of Japan. They represent animals that are wise, strong, and kind. Despite looking at this list of proboscideans and realizing how much there is, this is actually an island version of heavy niche partitioning amongst many animals in this case, proboscideans. Japan has a massive case of heavy niche partitioning of deer species. The mainland competition is even more fierce than ever before with miocene to pleistocene animals clashing in an new arms race earth never had seen before, and humans don't know what will happen next.
questions and criticisms are welcomed.

During the megafauna rewilding project of Japan, the nature company quickly resurrected mass populations of extinct megafauna from the holocene to the miocene. Here Japan which was once known to be empty of megafauna, found itself covered in new fauna and flora. Of course the giants of Japan's ecosystem are the proboscideans.
There is two body plans of proboscideans Japanese biologists often identify with. The big ones and pygmy ones. These two types of body plans define Japan's proboscideans and their role in the ecosystem an ecology.
For the big ones body plan, exists 5 or possibly 6 big proboscideans in Japan.
The most numerous and successful of the big proboscideans in Paleoloxodon Naumanni or often called the Japanese elephant. Being generalist mix feeders with preference for grazing but able to feed on any foliage, they are the most adaptable compared to the other proboscideans. The species are also known to vary in size when it comes to resources as some males can be the size of cows while others are the size of Asian elephants although it should note that large individuals are more common and the smaller individuals are more commonly found in islands that are not part of the Ryu kyu islands. Living in tight nit family groups similar to that of African elephants with a matriarch, they roam the mountains and lowlands of Japan. In Hokkaido, they coexist with the woolly mammoth population during the various seasons. In Fall and Winter, they retreat to the boreal forests to browse while the mammoths take over the cold steppes. During spring and Summer, Paleoloxodon Naumanni would take on mixed feeding on browsing and grazing on temperate grasslands. Their relationship with other proboscideans in adaptable and easy, allowing them to compete with their competitors with ease.
Stegodon orientalis or often called the common long tusked elephant, is the second most numerous large proboscidean in Japan. Being a mixed feeder with a preference of browsing. Stegodon orientalis spreads from the island of Kyushu to Hokkaido, being one of the two more successful large stegodons in Japan. In Hokkaido, they often retreat from the island during Fall and Winter as they cannot compete the Japanese elephant in the boreal forests while the spring and summer they return to the island being the most dominant browser. Living in small tight nit groups they are known to have mix herds with paleoloxodon and sinomastodon. Their long tusks clear the foliage, providing open areas for plant biodiversity to grow. They are popular in Japan due to their long tusks giving them the nick name Otoro.
Sinomastodon sendaicus or often called the Japanese mastodon is a species of medium sized sinomastodon living in the islands of Kyushu and Honshu. They are mainly browsers but have been found grazing although browsing is their preference. Living in small matriarchal herds, they plow through the forests browsing across trees and shrublands. Mixed herds are often common alongside stegodon orientalis. Due to their smaller size they are often bullied by other larger species of proboscidean when it comes to resources. Bulls of other large proboscideans often bully Sinomastodon due to musth.
Woolly mammoths live in the island of Hokkaido and only that island. Being secluded from the mainland, they are considered their own subspecies. Despite on the island, they didn't need to shrink as Hokkaido has enough biomass to support a population. They live in herds within the steppes of Hokkaido which become more abundant during the fall and winter. They often retreat to last steppe refugees during spring and summer as the climate doesn't suit the ecosystems they need.
Stegodon miensis or often called the large elephant, is the largest proboscidean in Japan. Having similar small tight family groups of females, in which they roam the forests clearing foliage as they go. Due to their larger size, they are able to bully off smaller proboscideans when it comes to competition over resources giving them access to the highest reaches of foliage. However, it is because of their large size that they cannot live with proper populations on the islands meaning they have smaller populations leading them on the endangered list. They still persist in Hokkaido as they are most recognizable by their size and somewhat sloped back. Just like their orientalis cousins, they are mixed feeders with preference for browsing to sustain their massive size.
For the pygmy ones, at least three species of proboscideans exist in Japan.
Stegodon aurorae or often called the Japanese dwarf elephant, is the most successful of the dwarf proboscideans excluding dwarf members of Paleoloxodon Naumanni. Living across the islands of Kyushu to Honshu. Being smaller than their cousin competitors allows them to utilize the natural resources better due to their island environment. However, the downside being that predators like the Japanese tigers and lion can easily take down a full grown adult means that they need to utilize their herds to their maximum with herds having complex defense mechanisms as well as calls that attract bulls for aid.
Gomphotherium annectens or often called the dwarf four tusked oni is one of two basal dwarf proboscideans that live in Japan. They are generalist grazers that live in matriarchal groups in herds that roam across the main island of Kyushu and southern parts of Honshu. They are known to be very aggressive to any predator that comes close due to their smaller size and are known to attack humans if threatened. This aggression mostly due to the predators and competition that they have to live with. Competition from their larger and more derived cousins, have forced Gomphotherium annectens to restrict their range. It is due to this competition, that populations were forced to go to the northern/central Ryu Kyu islands specifically Okinawa. It should be said that Okinawa has a predator that came with them the lesser Japanese tiger but that is for another day.
Stegolophodon pseudolatidens or called the dwarf four tusked elephant is the other basal dwarf proboscideans that live in Japan. They are generalist browsers that live in female herds that also roam the main island of Kyushu and southern parts of Honshu. Although aggressive to predators, they are surprisingly calm to humans. Just like Gompotherium, competition from their larger and more derived cousins, have forced stegolophodon to be restricted in Japan. Due to this competition, that populations were forced to go to the northern/central Ryu Kyu islands specifically Okinawa. Mixed herds between the two basal species are very common in Okinawa.
All proboscideans in Japan hold massive significance to the people of Japan. They represent animals that are wise, strong, and kind. Despite looking at this list of proboscideans and realizing how much there is, this is actually an island version of heavy niche partitioning amongst many animals in this case, proboscideans. Japan has a massive case of heavy niche partitioning of deer species. The mainland competition is even more fierce than ever before with miocene to pleistocene animals clashing in an new arms race earth never had seen before, and humans don't know what will happen next.
questions and criticisms are welcomed.

The Fall Least Unexpected
Camp Wapiti was the most competitive summer-camp on the western border of the Allegheny Mountains, titular for the raving children’s testimonies by the end of the season. An influx of young campers had signed up this year to roost in forests of Red Spruce and Eastern Hemlock. The camp had reportedly gone through a series of expansion, including state-of-the-art “lodging enclaves” and an Olympic-sized swimming pool; at least according to the Wapiti parent Facebook Group. Rah-rah Elks!

A slew of bus rentals carries the kids to the gates of the 150-acre property, summer reveries already taking effect on everyone - from the bus drivers to the happy campers. The counselors had done a splendid job in garbing under the theme of Swan Lake, tinges of pastel pink and candlelight establishing the camp’s timbre; all awaited returning and new faces alike.

Once they reached, a horde of children spilled out from vehicles from all directions. The season had started.

“Welcome to Camp Wapiti our future outdoorsmen and adventurers! Plenty of secrets and fun await you this year - but first some rules…” bellowed Hailey Clifton, head counselor of the ensemble and youngest chick among the staff. The other counselors rolled their eyes during Hailey’s yearly pitch about showing a high level of care towards the surrounding wilderness and carrying the Happy Camper’s Guide to Nature: Dynamite Deciduous at all times. Many of the children began fidgeting, a crowd of creepy-crawlers wiggling underneath the heat vortex and swarm of mosquitos.

Finally, a cool breeze could be felt as Hailey finished off, invigorating everybody’s spirits once again. Campers and counselors drifted off into their own respective circles, reuniting with old friends and meeting new ones, breathing life and community into the grounds. Already burnt bodies sticky from chlorine and Sun-Bum were packed like sardine and people of all ages hollered from the tree-tops.

The first afternoon and night had been a success in every sense of the word. Residents were comatose within their cabins before 10 pm, in anticipation for a day at Lake Dimii in the morning. Somebody was dreaming of the unmarred lake and its magical properties according to the Iroquois, at any given moment during the night.

Come morning, camp was bustling with movement in every corner. Louie, an independent, fire-cracker 11-year-old from Brooklyn led a large pack of his well-rested peers to the lake. The other kids couldn’t help but look up to Louie, who was often disinterested in the bull of the others, but who was also the first person someone would ask for help in messing with the counselors or sneaking into the girl’s dorm at night. The children sang Wapiti’s jingle on their trek:

We are the happy herd of elks
Roaming through the fields with stealth!
On our crow’s nest seat,
We are the Camp Wapiti fleet!

The children’s chants could be heard reverberating through the wood, like a canyon wall is to singing birds. The menagerie cannonballed into the lake from all perimeters, the counselors struggling to keep up. But the day swelled with happiness as the surroundings looked effervescent within the sunlight, everything appeared to be cast underneath a yellow, sparkly film. After head-check, Hailey could finally record the potpourri of foreign flowers in her scrapbook.

Michel Barre and his two most loyal pals, Barnett and Sal, were camped away from the others, scoffing at the troupe of wildlings swimming in the waters. Michel, son of hot-shot French socialites, had moved to the North-East just two years ago, and still couldn’t wrap his mind around the hobbies and traditions of American kids his age; especially the dreaded capture the flag. The counselors had attempted to urge the three to join the others in the water, coaxing them with extra pie during dessert, but with no luck.

Traditionally, the first few days of camp were a hedonistic blur with no planned activities or events. Counselors encouraged to introduce themselves with one another and become comfortable with their bunk-mates especially. After a blistering day in the heat at Dimii, the whole lot was absolutely worn-out and immediately returned to their quarters following a hearty meal of chicken fried steak and apple pie fritters. Another day of sunshine and splashing around in the surf awaited everybody tomorrow, with a round of softball and soft serve afterwards. Even Michel felt a knot of excitement grow in his stomach.

Yet at half-past three in the morning, just two remained awake. As the moon’s image was reflected upon the lake’s surface while the others peacefully slept, Michel had been awoken and dragged by his feet out of his bed, across floorboards punctuated with nails, and out into the night. He was dragged for what seemed like hours. Across the gravel, dirt, and bushes, his skin was battered, and his limbs mangled. He contained no mental or physical capacity to identify who on God’s Earth was forcing him through his misery.

After a while, Michel could discern a certain atmospheric change - the air had felt more serene - what could only be Lake Dimii.

SWIM AT YOUR OWN RISK “NO LIFEGUARD”

• Read a wasted sign, torn at its hinges.

“Please, I'm so sorry for whatever I did - please don’t-” Michel’s captor continued on to the edge of the lake and held him there, his face inundated like a trembling leaf caught in a storm. Michel didn’t know how to swim and tried to remember what his camping guide said about situations like this, but his mind went blank, and his lungs burned.

A passerby would be able to make out the two figures easily, even though the humid mist: One submerged and one forcing its grasp on the nape of the other’s neck, calmly watching. Michel was so incapacitated he wasn’t even aware that he was being forcibly held - he only regretted refusing to take swimming lessons as a child. And now his despairing amount of weakness against the dark waters was apparent. He thrashed about like a wild animal, a trail of bubbles circling his head. Gasps and sunken murmurs were the only sounds that could be heard on the lakeside at this hour.

And the other continued to watch, looking almost disinterested in the slump of his shoulders and the swaying of his feet. The moon still stubbornly shone, indiscriminate in its gleam, illuminating the other boy’s poor, sinking body. The scene was now still - a sharp contrast from a mere 8 hours ago.

The one on the bank turned to leave for the campgrounds, whistling a familiar tune.
The amount of time it takes to notice a person is missing is usually longer than one would think. In the case of Michel Barre, it took nearly 2 hours after the inhabitants of Wapiti rose. Barnett and Sal eventually realized that Michel was nowhere to be found and alerted Hailey before they were blamed for something they didn’t do. All campers were to report back to their bunks immediately for the rest of the day and stay there till instructed otherwise. A wave of confusion and frustration hit the camp – and rumors quickly spread like a nasty bout of lice.

According to the older kids, Barnett and Sal were messing around with Michel in the woods and left him there for inexplicable reasons. Others believed that Michel’s mega-loaded parents airlifted him out of the woods after just a few hours sleeping in the itchy twin sheets.

Meanwhile, in the counselor’s lodge, absolute pandemonium had settled alongside the cabin’s perpetual dust. These ‘designated adults’ were not adults at all, but hormonal, dewy-eyed teenagers who had been looking forward to an unsupervised summer. None of them were prepared for a situation like this.

“How on Earth will we ever explain this to Michel’s parents? The poor boy - he is probably wounded in the middle of the forest somewhere. Who knows, he could already be dead right now,” cried Hailey. The others stared at her blankly, not knowing what to say in response.

Javon Scott, who was only there for the massive paycheck that would hit his bank account at the end of the summer, couldn’t stop concentrating on Hailey's strawberry-blond curls. They smelled like apples.

“Hailey’s right, guys. Michel’s probably dead somewhere in a ditch. Shit, I can’t handle this right now, I need to smoke,” said Javon. He couldn’t keep his legs from bouncing, even with two hands on his thighs. Hailey let out a dry sob.

“You’ve been smoking too much Javon. The kid is probably fine, he couldn’t have made it that far into the woods,” chimed in someone from the back. A few other counselors murmured in agreement.

“We can’t bank on that. We have to tell Michel’s parents and call the authorities,” said Hailey. Javon aggressively nodded his head - the only one out of the bunch to agree.

“Like the cops? No way, I like this gig and my parents would murder me. Let’s all just split up and try to find him first,” said Bryce, one of the older counselors, a local town bum. There seemed to be a consensus already made at that point and all of Hailey's lamentations were paid any further attention.

The teens decided on rounding up the campers towards the center of the ground for the remainder of the day and to keep guard for God-knows-what, while the rest divvied up the surrounding woods in sections to search for the missing boy. Seemingly overnight, Camp Wapiti had transformed into a dire place – a canvas of frantic people and an obscure disappearance coloring the air.
Hailey had volunteered to scale the one of many huge rocks overlooking the eastern corner of the camp, a citadel over the surrounding area. Javon had offered to accompany Hailey, but everyone agreed it would be best if he stayed out at camp and watched over the fidgety kids. Javon grumbled about his role, because the last thing he wanted to do was spend the rest of the day with the snotty-sits, but he was sorely outnumbered. Besides, Hailey wanted to be alone.

The rock sat among the treetops, overlooking miles beyond the peripheries of the camp in each direction. It was a hot spot for late-night hookups, summertime dares, and sunrise viewings. Some of the graffiti that marked the base of the rock was almost two generations old.

It took a good 20 minutes for Hailey to reach the peak. Once she did, she was taken aback at the unstable illusion that was presented - the forest and vegetation seemed to have no end, swallowing all the land in its vastness. She shuddered to think where Michel could be within the thickets, as there was no way she could make out a 9-year-old from this vantage point. Her day had been spent in vain.

She plopped down at the edge of the overlook and began to burst into fitful tears. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how scared Michel was. Her stomach felt like a bowling ball. She decided that she would immediately contact the Allegheny preservative police and Michel’s parents before telling the others. She took in the horizon for a few months, ablaze in a deep mandarin, before heading back to Wapiti.

Except, someone had been watching her and her lovely head full of curls for a while now. It was a quite pleasant evening, and a single sight was more like a shout in the dead silence. And so, when Hailey could hear the heavy breathing of someone behind her, she chose not to stir.

“I know that’s you Javon. Look, I don’t have the time for this right now,” said Hailey, sniffling into her hands. Only silence followed and the breathing now ceased. Hailey looked over her shoulders and saw only rock. She felt as if she were becoming progressively crazier as the day went on.

Hailey turned back to stare at the view. And as she tumbled down the face of the cliff - from a single push or a gust of wind, no one would be able to tell - her last thoughts were of Michel’s ill-fated end instead of hers and how beautiful the sea of green looked when falling. Down, down she went, impaled upon the serrated end of a branch. Dark, gelatinous fluid sprayed from where she was impaled. She writhed in agony for thirty long minutes before her organs failed from the fatal amount of blood that was lost to the forest dirt.
By 10 pm, all of the inhabitants were united, and unlike this morning, there was a noticeable absence in the atmosphere. With the chief counselor nowhere to be found, the modus operandi of the camp had been altered. Campers were ordered to stay in their cabins and to not leave under any circumstances. Most of the counselors themselves hunkered in their bunks, too exhausted to search for yet another missing person or were a little paranoid themselves. Besides, Hailey probably bailed on the rest of them to avoid being complicit in anything that anything might have happened to Michel.

Still, a few agreed it was best to search the immediate vicinity at least once more, including Javon, who hadn’t felt this terrible since his parent’s divorce.

The crag wasn’t too far from the camp and so when five odd teenagers stumbled upon the grisly sight that was the remains of their fellow counselor – with what the forest scavengers had made of the relatively fresh carcass anyways - a wave of nausea and hysteria hit the group. Two immediately ran straight backwards towards the lodges, escaping into the night.

Javon stood within the fetid odor of the body, unable to take his eyes off the ravage in front of him. Tears silently raced down his cheek. The Allegheny Mountains had turned into an inescapable hellscape paradox.

The remaining counselors turned to wake and alert the others, concluding that the only possible explanation was that Hailey had tumbled from a rock. Javon contested this theory, adamant foul play was involved, but like always, he was ignored. Hailey’s body was left alone, and Camp Wapiti was bustling in panic for the second time that day, except everyone knew what had happened to Hailey. And now with the bus rentals back already less than 96 hours, followed by a parade of police forces, the warmth of the season had disappeared just as quickly it had come.

There simply weren’t enough buses available to transport the entire camp’s population in one batch, especially considering the time of night. The kids were priority and were bused off the premises as soon as possible, except for around two dozen. The police rounded everyone else - which included all the counselors – into the canteen, dead-center of the campsite.

By 6 AM, Javon had become sick of his environment and everyone in it. No one had been able to sleep the whole night except the police, who were used to sleeping in their patrol cars. A distinct tenor could be felt in the canteen, not a soul felt safe during those 9 dreadful hours.

Louie – the Brooklyn boy – entertained some of the other kids by reciting gruesome renditions of what could have happened to Michel and Hailey. The kids took morbid interest, looking over their shoulders for the monsters in Louie’s reenactments. A detailed sketch had been made of the killer. The kids described him as like the silent Northern Saw-Whet Owl, camouflaging within the dark envelope of the forest.

Javon snuck off into the sunrise to go smoke a joint in the hammock park behind the canteen, in plain view of the swarm of knocked-out cops. His nerves were in desperate need of soothing and he didn’t need to think twice about using the only medicine at hand.

The sunrise was dim and sullen, casting its gray halo throughout the sky. The hammock swayed slightly from the cool morning breeze and Javon was starting to get a little sick. Images of Hailey had been burned into his subconscious and he wondered how he would ever be able to sleep again. Well, not sober at least.

Javon could care less about the “owl” killer if he were staring at the end of its barrel, he just needed to forget about this place. This was the first time he had regretted not filling out college application forms, because now, he couldn’t escape this town even if he tried.

As he continued to ruminate in his limited prospects, he saw a shadow flit from the corner of his eye. He jolted awake from his existential morning thoughts.

It was a rather small shadow, one that emerged like a premature lightning strike. The figure disappeared into the woods – seemingly spawning from the direction of the cabins. Snuffing his joint, Javon waltzed in the shadow’s path, determined to not let the sly thing get away. The police were starting to stir. Javon dashed into the thicket’s cover.

While the figure had been in full sprint before, Javon had caught up to it within a couple of minutes. From behind a tree, looking onto an unobstructed clearing, there was the silhouette, his back facing Javon.

It was a boy. A shirtless boy. Quiet and unmoving. But Javon could easily recognize the person’s gait – strangely self-assured for just an 11-year-old. No doubt it was Louie, unruly, scraped and bruised, swaggering within late dawn’s mist. Javon observed quietly for a few moments, watching the boy sit in silence in the grass.

Louie knew someone was watching him. Besides, he had been on the other side – the one who was hunting the unsuspecting so many times that his instincts were deceivingly sharp. Louie turned his head around slowly, catching Javon’s direct line of vision and holding it. Javon froze under Louie’s blank expression towards him.

Slowly, Louie made his way towards Javon, carefully maintaining eye contact. Javon was almost in some sort of trance and had been. rendered immobile. Louie started to quicken his pace, opening his mouth to say something before Javon snapped out of his terrifying reverie.

Javon’s paranoia was through the roof, fueled by all that weed he consumed on an empty stomach. He ran towards the cabin for dear life to warn the others, convinced of Louie’s hand in evil. Something about Louie’s vacant eyes, devoid of emotion and almost-artificial like, sent Javon reeling for shelter from that empty expression. Even Hailey’s lifeless face exhibited more human-ness.

He finally had enough courage to look behind him when in view of the canteen, only to be met with a silent wood. Nevertheless, he continued to run, right outside to the main grounds, running right smack into the punchy gut of a cop.

“Do you think you can tell me what you are doing out here, hm,” asked the man in faded blue. Javon relayed his morning, leaving out extraneous details. But what he said fell upon empty ears and a boisterous laugh!

“Hmph, you kids sure aren’t meant to be out here as counselors. Clueless, all of you.”

But the police soon realized that Javon was telling the cold truth. Louie was thought to be on the busses, but the police received word that the boy was nowhere to be found in the vehicles. A small search-party was sent into the woods, but there wasn’t a single trace of an 11-year-old to be found. Only a lumbering 21-year-old, who took embarrassingly long strides.
Louie and his belongings had dematerialized along with warm winds of summer.

As the rest of the kids and counselors were sent away through a second round of buses, Javon looked longingly at the shrinking campgrounds from the back window.

On our crow’s nest seat,
We are the Camp Wapiti fleet!

Javon dreamt of distant heights and killer elks for months after the incidents.

5/17/2024
"With America’s supply of beef cattle the lowest since 1961, dairy farmers are finding another way to make money: breed more calves for slaughter. Dairy farmers traditionally produce new milking cows to replace their outgoing ones. But these days they’re increasingly churning out meatier offspring that they can sell to ranchers. Those hybrid calves—created by artificially inseminating a dairy cow with semen from a beef bull—are beefier than a pure dairy animal and can fetch the seller hundreds or even thousands of dollars apiece. That’s a big payday in an industry that last summer had such a milk glut that farmers dumped much of it down the drain. "

Hi, my husband drinks mate a lot and I want to gift him guampa for terere. But I am from Europe (Czech Republic, to be exact) and it seems there are not many options where to buy it here. I found some shops that sells ceramic or metal guampas, but I would like to buy a more traditional one from a bull horn. Is there any option where to buy traditional guampa either in Czech Republic or online with the possibility of shipping to my home country? Or is it realistic to make one myself without any experience? What would I need for it?
Thank you very much for any help (and sorry for my bad English).

Jerry admittedly felt damn short at the moment. With Komugai and Jaruna on his left and right respectively and his four Cannidor daughters behind him, he was a man among giants and while he didn't generally feel like that around Jaruna and the girls, the twelve foot tall Komugai certainly added to the sensation as they passed through the armored doors of the vestibule into the Den proper. The halls were deserted at the moment, a lot of the Bridger women were at their day jobs, and Jerry suspected it was close to nap time for the ravening horde in the nursery.
Komugai looks around, inspecting the doors and picking out a few concealed defensive systems with her experienced eye before letting out a low whistle.
"Hey! These are damn nice digs! Not quite my fortress back home, but this bad girl can move and probably has a similar amount of heavy guns if we count the rest of the ship this Den of yours is a part of."
Jerry chuckles at Komugai's comment.
"Oh you haven't even seen the fun toys we have hidden away on the ship. We don't just pack lasers and plasma."
"Yeah I hear you humans love your kinetics and missile weapons." Komugai chuckles again. "Smart. Nice to run into a sensible species on that account. Shit's way too useful to discount completely even if they're expensive and take up space. Rail guns at the very least for the more modern form of a kinetic weapon. If you're not using every available tool, you're gonna end up hammering a nail in with a wrench or some shit, and while it'll probably work... well. Warfare's a game of efficiency first and foremost. Use the right tool, for the right job."
"Always fascinating to see some of the more sensible opinions on how to fight a war coming from the girls who tend to play barbarians."
Komugai reaches over and slaps her son in law on the back.
"Hah. Yeah. Well. You know as well as anyone by now we ain't barbarians. We just like to play rough and have a scrap now and then. We act like barbarians to honor our culture and heritage, but we're one of the few species in the galaxy that achieved FTL all on our damn lonesome. We had advanced tech and weapons when we met the council, and we did meet them, not the other way around. We found one of their inhabited worlds before they found us."
"I didn't know that part, very impressive."
It's Jaruna's turn to chuckle. "Mom left out the part where the colony fleet that found the world immediately invaded and conquered the world. Led to a brief war with the council... They had a slight edge on us in naval power but they couldn't dislodge us on the ground, so the stalemate led to a treaty and the Cannidor joining up with some... minor restrictions on our colonization and expansion in our neck of the woods."
Komugai grins. "Still got to keep that world though. Civvies took a vote and decided they liked being under Cannidor rule. Nicer than the last group of folks who ran the joint. Just goes to show you that the barbarian might be a friendlier face than some of the 'civilized' people in the galaxy. Has other benefits too, ones you'd do well to keep in mind. Our politics are nice and straight forward for the most part, and intrigue tends to involve trying to get kids hitched up together. No need to knife someone in the back when you can just knife them in the front in public in a regulated bout. Assassinations are rare in Cannidor space. Because literally everyone will come down on whoever paid for the hit like a sack of bricks, and if they survive that they'll get their heads cut off by an honor court."
"I do appreciate how straightforward Cannidor are. A lot of humans do."
"I think every single girl in Cannidor space has heard that by now, if not on the grape vine, then from one of your Undaunted trivid shows. Hope your boys are ready to be beating off horny bachelorettes left and right with a particularly big stick."
Jerry arches an eyebrow. "What makes you think those girls aren't getting welcomed with open arms? The Apuk certainly found a receptive audience among my troops."
"Fair point. Figure we're in the same boat as the Apuk, we tend to keep it within our own species for a variety of reasons, but we also get out and about more than the Apuk do, so you get Cannidor married to Tret men or whatever more commonly, by one way or another, but men who are down right eager for Cannidor brides? Hah. Hot damn that's not something we run into every day! Even a lot of other Apex species find Cannidor women to be a bit too much woman to handle."
"Well the only way my Marines respond to something like that is 'challenge accepted'."
Another laugh from Komugai. "Hah! I just fuckin' bet. Hell from what Jaruna tells me, a few of your boys married a passel of Crimsonhewers and you don't get much more in your face than those girls by Cannidor standards. Now... To more important matters, where's this adorable newborn granddaughter of mine? I want to spoil her a bit before I spoil the bigguns."
Jerry nods, then turns and looks back at Joan and the girls. "Tell you girls what, get the dining room set up as a lounge and maybe drag a keg of Cannidor beer out of Jaruna's stash and get it chilling, the seven of us and any of your mothers who want to join will have a jaw after Komugai finishes greeting your little sister. Sound good?"
Joan visibly resists saluting, and eagerly leads the other girls off to get to work. It didn't take a psychic to take a guess as to what the girls were thinking. Beers with Mom, Dad and Grandma? Now that sounded like a grand old time!
"Come on Mom, nursery is this way." Jaruna gestures with a nod of her head and pads off down the hallway with Komugai and Jerry trailing in her wake.
Before they can make it down the hallway Fenrir and Hel come racing by, coming to a hard stop as soon as they realize someone new is in the den, the two wolf pups coming over and cautiously sniffing Komugai as she crouches down and gives them a few light scritches.
"What are these adorable little things? Lopen puppies? No. They'd be able to talk by now."
Komugai looks up. "Seriously what are these? I ain't seen a critter like this before. Decent size on'em."
"They're called Dire Wolves, and those are puppies, infants, not even juveniles yet technically." Jerry says. "We believe Fenrir, the male, the slightly larger one with the darker coat and the yellow eyes, will hit around five hundred pounds, maybe more. The rest of his litter makes like Hel here will probably hit about four hundred, four hundred and fifty pounds. They're a genetic manipulation of a highly intelligent pack hunter humans domesticated back on Earth."
That got a raise of an eyebrow from Komugai.
"...You domesticated a large, intelligent, carnivorous pack hunter back on your planet? Without axiom?"
"Nothing but raw human stubbornness and time. Wolves are a bit smaller than these sweeties will be of course, but one of the great human maxims is 'Not if I befriend it first!'. We have examples of humans befriending pretty much every dangerous thing on our planet... and plenty of examples of idiots trying to befriend pretty much every dangerous thing on our planet and failing spectacularly."
"Huh. Next you'll tell me those tasty cow things started off dangerous too."
Jerry smirks. "What eventually became the modern cow was on the lower end of dangerous for bovine animals on Earth, but a pissed off bull can do plenty of damage if he wants to. One of their wild cousins, the Bison, can be a literal ton of bad attitude and anger management issues. We didn't manage to ranch those critters till much later on with the help of technology. Great tasting meat."
"Well sign me up for a bison steak once we get to dinner then!"
Firi is waiting for them in front of the nursery door when they round the corner, looking quite... tall, actually for her diminutive height. Maybe it was just that she was looming large in spirit, because she had her arms crossed and was doing her best to look stern.
"The children are napping. I can't let anyone in the nursery right now."
Komugai glances down at Firi. "You're not honestly trying to keep you from my granddaughter are you little one?"
The petite vulpine alien bristles, looking Komugai square in the eye.
"Your granddaughter, my daughter, is napping, along with the rest of her siblings. There will be plenty of time to meet her, and the rest of the children besides, but I will not risk waking up our family's entire brood simply because you haven't figured out patience at your age!"
Jaruna and Jerry's eyes both widen, and they look over at Komugai. Surely a Cannidor warlady wouldn't respond well to that, would she? Jerry can feel himself tensing as he looks for some sort of negative response from Komugai that would require him to step in forcefully... but doesn't step in immediately. Firi can handle herself, and Jerry trusts his wife. She wouldn't draw a hard line like that if she didn't mean it.
Instead of getting angry however, Komugai laughs, long and hard. "Hah. So you're Firi then. My apologies little mother, I will wait for them to finish their rest."
Firi nods curtly. "Wait in the dining room, I'll make sure one of the nannies brings Hippolyta out for some family time with her parents, grandma and big sisters as soon as she wakes up."
Komugai sketches a bit of a bow, and the trio are heading back up the hallway. "Heh. I like that one. Didn't flinch a hair when it came to the best interests of the children. Good to know your sisters have some spine, wouldn't expect it from such a cute little thing like Firi."
"I did warn you Mom. Tiny, but fierce."
"Well I damn sure believe you now! Tiny but fierce indeed."
The elder Cannidor daughters have just finished getting the lounge in order when they walk in, having set up an appropriately large chair for someone of Komugai's... 'dimensions' and had a keg of Cannidor beer and mugs prepared as bidden, the four girls clearly eagerly waiting for their elders.
Adults seated, drinks served all around, Komugai takes a deep swig and sighs.
"Damn, haven't had an audience of granddaughters like this in awhile! Alright. I know girls your age are brimming with questions and ever hungry for stories, I was a pup too once upon a time after all... so what stories do you girls want to hear first?"
Makula raises a hand, looking a touch awkward for a second.
"Actually honored Matron, I uh. I have a question for Father first."
Jerry chuckles. "Oh really? Well go ahead Makula."
Makula nods slowly. "Mother Jaruna was telling me about the name of the new assault ship we have aboard, the Kandahar Province. Apparently American Marines, like you, conducted an amphibious invasion of a landlocked country. How the heck does that even work?"
Jerry lets out a bark of laughter. He'd been anticipating all sorts of questions from Makula but he hadn't been expecting that one!
"Well let's see... so it was an operation early on in my homeland's invasion of a country called Afghanistan. Marines of the 15th Marine Expeditionary Unit conducted an amphibious assault from their landing ships by air, about four hundred miles inland to a region of Afghanistan called Kandahar. They had a strength of around a thousand Marines and faced a battle hardened enemy that had more weapons than a lot of light infantry troops can normally counter. Fifteen armored vehicles attacked the forward operating base those Marines established within a day or two, and Marine attack helicopters neutralized them. That forward operating base was named Camp Rhino, and the Marines were the first concentration of conventional forces in Afghanistan. A few days later with help from our allies, we moved North and secured Kandahar International Airport, bringing a major airport under friendly control and setting up the second major operations center in Afghanistan. Those bases would remain in operational use until the US withdrew from the country around twenty years later."
Makula sticks her hand up again. "Holy crap, what kind of fighting takes twenty years!?"
Jerry shrugs. "Fighting a well entrenched local insurgency is always the most brutal, grinding kind of warfare. They know the local terrain, they know the people, because they are the people... we were invaders in the end, and we ignored a lot of our own play book on counterinsurgency operations in favor of letting politicians run the show. An unfortunate trend in my homeland's military. Not to say there shouldn't be civilian control over the military, but prior to a war called Vietnam, politicians generally kept their hands on the pocket book, and gave us objectives. They didn't tell the generals how to achieve those objectives or tie their hands behind their backs."
"That seems complicated, and not nearly as exciting as the assault."
"It's not, but it's just how things go in a society at times. Opinions change and shift. Things happen. Some good. Some bad. Sometimes we learn from them. Other times we get a beating and the lessons still don't sink in. Others take yet different lessons than the ones that seem most obvious to us. It's the nature of trying to find consensus between sometimes very different people with wildly different points of view."
Jerry sits back and takes a long pull from his tankard, letting the beer quench his growing thirst.
"In the end girls, you just need to remember the world doesn't always see things the way we do. Perspective's a hard thing to understand, but people having very different experiences aren't any less valid than ours... even if they might still be wrong."
"...Isn't that contradictory?"
"Somewhat, but it's the nature of the beast. In the end if people have a different answer to a question or a problem, or draw different conclusions from a result, it behooves you as a leader to not just smack them into submission, but to investigate why. You might decide you were wrong in your own initial judgment. Or they'll be convinced by your point of view. Or you won't be able to find common ground, but at least you'll have an understanding of why they're thinking the way they are, and knowledge is never something to discard. Especially if it can leave you with a blind spot."
Jaruna chuckles. "Yep. Couldn't have said it better myself. Blind spots get you killed. Be it in your knowledge, your perception or more practically, in your defenses or scouts when you're settling in for the night or establishing a forward operating base of your own. Doesn't mean you shouldn't trust your own judgment mind you. Just don't be afraid to learn or get more information."
"Heh. My oh my." Komugai grins down at the proceedings before taking a big swig of her beer. "With instruction like this, I just can't wait to see what kind of war ladies you girls grow into in a few decades. I can't help but think you're going to be something special by the time my girl and her hubby are done with you! Now, who wants to hear about the time I dropped on a battalion of infantry with just four girls and routed them in under ten minutes?"
First Last

There were whispers that morning that rotations of sentries had seen a nymph from their positions on the Eastern wall. They were dismissed by many, and gossiped on about by a few.
That would be his distraction for the day, Diak thought. Isn't that way anyone does anything after all, distraction.
Up on the wall he found the soldiers' young company and their laughable claim a good way to pass his hangover, his worries about why it stung when he pissed now, his worries about all the money he had lost and the mite of the entire fate of mankind being in the balance of his mission.
I'll remedy it, when I'm feeling a bit less like death, he told himself. Today was a day were he would try to avoid worry, as best he could. It was almost easier to do so when the weight of his stress was so preposterous it was touching on comical. Today was a day to bask in the sun
He smoked his way through the morning, bringing a stool up to the palisade making the most of the view of the lazy river, dragonflies stuck to the drooping stems above lily pads, a strayed sheep wandered on by on the other side.
'Surely if were a nymph fella, it'd be coming from the water, a sopping wet mistress' Diak posited tasting at the hemp.
'They have tree nymphs up north say the tribes' said the young soldier sternly, appearing to grow weary of Diak's loud demeanour.
'No such things as nymphs only in myths and loon's minds they are and not in true religion' grunted a spearman passing by rather zealously. The young boy looked embarressed. Diak kept smoking, high enough to hear the intricacies of the birdsongs.
'There look' hissed the young one keeping his voice down.
Diak frowned. Something was indeed moving, a whole trunk of an elm seemed to waver like a mirage.
'What was that! Druid magic? Shall I raise the alarm?' The sentry whispered afeared to be seen as crazy.
Diak struggled to bring levity now, studying the tree acutely, though not forgetting to light his pipe. Other sentries further down the wall were pointing now to the relief of the young man. There it went again. A split second the tree wobbled as if it were as solid as water.
'It;s something fella?' Diak giggled. Raiders possessed no such magic. Well they better not.
Even the most solemn of soldier came to wander over at the risk of the commander's castigation now. The tree wobbled a final time. Then something stood in the way of the bark.
A figure formed leaning at the base of the trunk. Shooting into view, as if it had been suddenly dropped there.
Fascinating, Diak thought. Then he remembered this was a place of war.
Childhood wonder quickly sunk, the forest had not given way to gliding feminine spirits that possessed the mind with song.
It was a man walking from the tree line in a grey cloak, hood up.
The grim reality of adulthood grabbed the men, and alarm bells rung. Marching feet pounded out to the perimieter of the fort, watching the river, the sea and inland. No boats came.
Diak kept his eyes on the lush forest. Nothing, no war drums banging, no fires, no chants to those gods of war the northerners had, no hordes of hide wearing axe men charging the fort. The man was alone. And what was one man?
Commander Essos was up with them in a flash, leaning over the sharpened wall. Javelins were gripped tight, bows taken up. The gates remained open for now.
The man walked with the apathy and comfort of one in his own living quarters with a slow gait through the tall summer grass and cow parsley, with no regard for the hundreds of eyes latched unto him. A large satchel was hung off his back and so to a black blade. Or was it a club Diak wondered. He was no weapons expert but he had never seen a weapon so thick a giant two headed cleaver looked to be made of a dull black stone.
'Identify yourself, this is a fort of the Archipeligo now. You will state your business or be fired upon!' Came shouts from the sentries
The figure appeared less and less ethereal the closer he got, with a hunched posture and torn peasants clothes under the muddy grey cloak, his face still covered. He meandered closer and slower, indifferent to the shouts and threats being hurled down at him. The man looked long and lanky like a priest Diak thought but with each step he could see his proportions clearer, he was built like a bull. It dawned on Diak now just how gigantic that odd weapon would have to be too.
'Almost in range commander!' came a shout below
As if he had some how heard this, the grey cloak stopped, took off his satchel, and carrying it, walked towards the river maintaining his distance. He Placed it on a low tree stump.
Still no men at the treeline.
The greycloak groped into the satchel for a moment, clawing for something. Diak squinted, hands were picking up parchment folding it up delicately and putting it to the side.
Then he pulled out a stained white cloth wrapped around some lump. Then gently undressed it.
A head with long red hair and unkempt beard was revealed, wet with some sort of preserving oil. The greycloak held it up by the hair and in the other hand held something that glinted in the sun. The silent head swung from the hand of the silent man, his eyes affixed to the ground.
'Who the hell is that' giggled Diak swigging at a stolen wineskin 'whatever the opposite of a nymph is eh?'
'We put a bounty out.' mumbled Essos, looking on stern. 'And the head may be Svel Forkbeard, equally it may not be'
Diak frowned he had heard that name every spring for the past few years, the pirate king, the Reaver,, the man who had come to own raiding season, who had made his way into the bedside stories of misbehaved children, the scourge of the Archipeligo. Dangling in a nameless mans hands.
'Approach!' Essos shouted across the wildflower expanse between them.
The greycloak took of his greycloak and packed it away. A clean shaven face a clean shaven head. He glanced at the gate for but a moment.
He did not take one step closer. He did not raise his eyes. He clicked his fingers and pointed at the ground at his feet.
Diak tried not to laugh at the brazen audacity.
Essos swore rubbing his face, 'Barbarian swine. Ready up men, bring a translator'
'If I may follow friend, my patron would be most intrigued to hear about men of such a... hands on industry?' Diak said

How soon after losing a pig (if at all) should you introduce a new pig to a pair.
We lost a pig who had been sick for a couple weeks. He was a rescue so we don’t know his exact age but probably 6 years old. (We had him for 4) His cage mate is now alone. How important is it to find a new cage mate for the surviving pig? Should we replace him as soon as possible? Should we find another older pig or go younger? Just not sure how to handle.
We have another set of girls who are younger (probably 2 now) we were thinking of getting a younger male and having him neutered. When the time comes for our oldest pig we could hopefully add the young bull with the two females

------------------
The Book of Harris-y
(Religion as it should be) -
by Zachary Harris
(cc) (NC) (ND) by Zachary Harris
May be copied, distributed, or displayed, verbatim only. non-commercial, not derivative works nor remixes.
First edition May 2024
Chapter 1 - What's in a name
Chapter 2 - A bunch of rules
Chapter 3 - Secrete origins
Chapter 4 - The end
Chapter 5 - Everybody's favorite topic: SEX
Chapter 6 - The 2000 year war
Chapter 7 - Humans and gods
Chapter 8 - Parables
Chapter 9 - Feedback
Chapter
CHAPTER 1
What's in a name
Some religions are named after it's main prophet. Christianity is named after christ. Buddhism is named after Budda.
I, Zach Harris, dub this religion HARRISy.
Where is it written that a religion can't have a sense of humor?
HARRISy is not a spoof or sarcasm.
But any religion without a sense of humor, absolutely NEEDS to be ridiculed.
I was raised in christianity. So most of my criticism will be aimed at the Abrahamic religions.
I intend to build harrisy on logic and reason. Not the superstition, lies, and, threats that the Abrahamic religions are built on.
As an alternative for conscientious objectors caught in the religious wars (see chapter 6).
Deities are not really necessary for inspiration or religion. An all-powerful creator wouldn't need the help or adulation of puny mortals.
Only cults and human puppet masters need that. So we leave deities to their own devises. They ought to be up to it.
Harrisy is a religion about/for humans, as religions should be.
My leadership skills suck. So I will avoid leading, to avoid becoming a cult.
Chapter 2
A bunch of rules
Everybody hates rules. But let's establish what Harrisy stands for.
10 rules is a nice round number. But when the first four are about loyalty to the cult, You have to question who the rules are meant to benefit.
The christian 'commandments' only benefit the christian cult. The commandments don't even benefit their god.
A true all-powerful, immortal, creator god, would not need human worship or loyalty. The same as humans don't need the worship of ants.
We don't make rules for ants to follow. Just stay out of our way. The Abrahamic god treats us like ants. Either ignores or steps on us. It was his cults that made the 'commandments', not their god.
(more about that in chapter 7)
Harrisy has rules to live by, to benefit HUMANS:
A) Cause no harm.
B) Treat others the way you want to be treated.
Christianity calls this 'The Golden Rule' as if they invented it. But this was part of every culture and religion that humans ever created. (except Is-lame)
C) Do not kill. Do not kill humans.
Self preservation may override this, but killing is still a bad idea.
When killing animals for food, respect their sacrifice. Killing for sport is a bad idea.
D) People are not property.
Do not try to own others, in any sense.
You belong to yourself, do not give yourself away.
E) Do not steal.
You would not want to loose your stuff. (see B) Stealing harms others.
F) Do not lie. Avoid those who lie.
You would want to know the truth. To make better decisions. (see B)
G) Do not rape.
Do not force yourself on others. Your pleasures are not more important than other people's.
This applies to more than just sex. Do not force your religion on others. Do not force harrisy on others.
H) Do not shit wherever you please.
You don't want to slog through other people's shit.
(it's a metaphor.) Leave the world better than you found it.
I) Guard your privacy. Respect the privacy of others.
Beware of others who might use info against you. Or might unduly profit off you.
We have no rules about loyalty. We understand loyalties change. Just be honest (rule E)
We have no rule specifically about Adultery. Adultery might be considered loyalty, which changes.
Or adultery might be considered stealing, stealing affection. (rule D)
Chapter 3
Secrete origins
No one knows how/why it all began. Anyone who says they know, for certain, is lying.
The answer night as well be 42.
Most religions make it a crime to ask questions about their creation myths. This promotes ignorance. Helps the cult, not the people.
We understand the 'scientific method'. Scientists ask questions and are willing to test and adapt to new info.
So, for now, we trust scientific conclusions about the beginnings.
The current best theories from science:
The universe started from what they humorously call 'The Big Bang', about 13.8 Billion years ago.
Many are curious about what came before that. But we find that to be irrelevant to our everyday life.
Some religions say their god did it so they can claim payment/gratitude/worship for it. But we owe them nothing.
The earth was formed about 4.5 Billion years ago.
Humans evolved from other critters over many, many, many Generations (not years).
Some religions claim their god did it so they can claim payment/gratitude/worship for it.
We do not owe Harrisy or any religion for our existence.
Chapter 4
The end
How does it all end?
No one knows. Anyone who says they know, for certain, is lying.
Christinity predicts a bad acid trip. (See Revaluations) Any day now. So buy your ticket to heaven early.
It's an obvious con, You sacrifice this life you already have, for the promise of another life they can't prove.
Science predicts 'Entropy'. Every atom in the universe will drift away from every other till they can't react any more.
But humans will be dead or evolved into something we can't recognize, by then. Too distant, time-wise, to worry about.
Your personal end? What happens when you die?
Most probably nothing.
Seems like every religion has a different 'afterlife'. They can't all be right. (but they can all be wrong)
You can't pick the one you want. If an 'afterlife' exists it is what it is. WE can't control it. No cult can control it.
The cults are telling you what you want to hear. So you give your CURRENT LIFE to their cult. The life that is certain, in exchange for an empty promise.
No guarantees, No refunds, You won't get your old life back if they are wrong (or lying).
Pascal's gamble is a sucker bet. It never pays out.
Harrisy aims to make This Current Life better, worth living for it's own sake. We give priority to This Current Life over any theoretical 'afterlife'.
Chapter 5
Everybody's favorite topic: SEX
What's the point of Sexual Taboos?
Why would an IMORTAL (non-sexual, non-reproducing) being give a damn?
For example in the christian cult:
*Masturbation is sin,
*Spilling your seed outside the womb is sin,
*Marrying outside the church is sin,
*Divorce is sin,
*Birth Control is sin,
*Abortion is sin,
*Marriages without offspring are invalid.
*Brand (circumcise) your males, so your females know who they are allowed to mate with,
And in Is-lame, Women are just sexual slaves.
Taken as a whole,
The only purpose served by sexual taboos, is to help the CULT out-populate rival cults.
A REAL "creator god" wouldn't give a damn. Or Wouldn't need our cooperation. it would just create more of us, as needed.
A REAL creator wouldn't threaten us, it would just change us.
Sexual Taboos are serving a cult, not a god.
Harrisy has only one sexual taboo:
Rule G) Do not rape.
Do not force yourself on others. Your pleasures are not more important than other people's.
Chapter 6
The 2000 year war
The Abrahamic religions have been at war with each other for about 2000 years. Sometimes hot, sometimes cold.
But like some other religions, at all times attempting to be 'the one true religion'. And by their competition, doing more harm than good.
And the Abrahamic religions haven't even shown that the 'good' stuff needs their religion to get done.
They preach that it is somehow noble or their duty to spread their faith. ("Onward Christian Soldiers")
There are dangers associated with proselytism and/or evangelicalism:
(Please note - I had help with the following)
Focus on Conversion over Service:
Proselytism/evangelicalism prioritizes conversion goals over humanitarian or service-oriented activities.
This undermines the credibility and effectiveness of religious organizations engaged in charitable work,
as it is perceived as conditional or insincere.
Dogmatism and Exclusivity:
Evangelicalism/proselytism promotes a rigid, dogmatic interpretation of religious beliefs that excludes other perspectives.
This exclusivity leads to intolerance of differing viewpoints and hinders constructive dialogue and cooperation with people of other faiths or worldviews.
Coercion and Manipulation:
Proselytism/evangelicalism involves coercion, manipulation, or exploitation of vulnerable individuals,
such as offering material incentives or exploiting power differentials to induce conversion.
This raises ethical concerns about respect for autonomy and informed consent.
Political Activism:
Evangelicalism/proselytism has been associated with political movements that prioritize specific social or moral issues, leading to controversy and polarization.
this politicization blurs the lines between religion and politics, compromising the integrity of both.
Interfaith Tensions:
Proselytism/evangelicalism contributes to interfaith tensions and conflicts, especially when it is aggressive or disrespectful to members of other religious communities.
It will undermine efforts to foster mutual respect, understanding, and cooperation among different faith traditions.
Fragmentation of Communities:
Proselytism/evangelicalism leads to the fragmentation or division of communities, particularly in contexts where multiple religious groups coexist.
This creates social tensions and weaken social cohesion, especially when proselytism is conducted in a confrontational or divisive manner.
Proselytization and Missionary Work:
We are concerned about aggressive or coercive methods used in proselytization/evangelicalism efforts,
especially when targeting vulnerable populations or in multicultural contexts.
This leads to cultural imperialism or disrespect for the autonomy of individuals and communities.
Cultural Insensitivity:
Proselytism/evangelicalism disregards or disrespects the cultural and religious traditions of the target community.
This leads to cultural imperialism or colonialism, especially when proselytism/evangelicalism is conducted in contexts where there is a history of exploitation or marginalization.
Misrepresentation or Simplification of Beliefs:
Proselytism/evangelicalism involves oversimplification or misrepresentation of religious beliefs and practices in order to make them more appealing to potential converts.
This leads to misunderstandings or misconceptions about the beliefs and traditions of the proselytizing religion.
For these reasons we conscientious objectors to the religious war, need an uncompetitive religion like Harris-y.
But don't push it.
Chapter 7
Humans and gods
Why do human religions have gods that are all too human?
A creator of everything that needs humans to wright/publish a holy book?
An all powerful god who needs humans to promote him?
An all powerful god with a vindictive human sized ego?
An immortal who is obsessed with human reproduction?
An all powerful god who needs humans more than we need him?
Any actual god wouldn't need human religion.
Harrisy serves humans, not gods.
Chapter 8
Parables
Corn In A Cow Patty.
Finding truth in the Abrahamic holy books,
is like finding corn in a cow patty.
Sure there are some good kernels in there,
but is it really worth digging through the shit to find them?
You can find uncontaminated kernels of truth anywhere.
Chapter 9
Feedback
Feedback should be sent to: [zachharris@mail2hell.com](mailto:zachharris@mail2hell.com)
Don't expect a timely reply.

Platform(s): MS-DOS played from PC
Genre: Simulation, science?
Estimated year of release: 1980-1995. I played this around 1993-95.
Graphics/art style: Somewhere between "Jill of the Jungle" and "Commander Keen" graphics quality.
Maybe vga graphics? The game was in color, but it was very limited pallette.
Side scroller type background, but I can't remember if the screen actually scrolled. If it did, it was only a bit to the left or right.
I can't remember if they all walked across the same elevation on the screen, or if there was maybe a shelf or row of something that could let them go up higher so there would be two levels of walking back and forth.
Notable characters: I can't remember what the characters were for sure,but they were all similar. They were a creature, monster, alien, or possibly a cow type being. They came in a variety of basic colors and maybe patterns. There were different physical features that the characters had like horns, big ears, tail?, etc. I remember a fushia pink creature and maybe a purple. I'm sure there were more colors.
The creatures laid an egg after mating. It just sat in the same path that they characters walked back and forth on. I think maybe the egg could have polka dots on it sometimes.
Notable gameplay mechanics: They were bi-pedal and walked back and forth across the screen. You would breed two characters (I don't remember what this looked like. Maybe it had them stand together for so many seconds?) and the offspring would inherit features from both parents. You could then continue breeding the new characters to come up with new and different creatures that inherited their parents' genetics.
I played using a keyboard. I only needed the arrow keys and maybe Enter or Spacebar.
Other details: Came on the big 5 inch floppy disks. My uncle likely bought it at some type of flea market /swap meet/ technology show. I remember looking through paper ream type boxes that were filled with tons of floppy disks in sleeves that were for sale.
The computer ran some flavor of dos. There was no windows OS. However I remember that my uncle got a brand new computer around this time, and it ran windows 2.1.
I remember I played some apogee games, but I don't know that this was by them. Some titles I played around this time: Cosmos cosmic adventures, crystal caves, Jill of the jungle, commander keen, flyed, a slot machine game, a poker game that looked a lot like some I've seen on the screens at casinos.
I loved this game as a little kid. I played a lot of side scrolling games and card games, so the concept of this was completely new to me. This was also my introduction to the concept of genetics, so it was absolutely fascinating to me.
I would love to find this game again. Thank you!

------------------
The Book of Harris-y
(Religion as it should be) -
by Zachary Harris
(cc) (NC) (ND) by Zachary Harris
May be copied, distributed, or displayed, verbatim only. non-commercial, not derivative works nor remixes.
First edition May 2024
Chapter 1 - What's in a name
Chapter 2 - A bunch of rules
Chapter 3 - Secrete origins
Chapter 4 - The end
Chapter 5 - Everybody's favorite topic: SEX
Chapter 6 - The 2000 year war
Chapter 7 - Humans and gods
Chapter 8 - Parables
Chapter 9 - Feedback
Chapter
CHAPTER 1
What's in a name
Some religions are named after it's main prophet. Christianity is named after christ. Buddhism is named after Budda.
I, Zach Harris, dub this religion HARRISy.
Where is it written that a religion can't have a sense of humor?
HARRISy is not a spoof or sarcasm.
But any religion without a sense of humor, absolutely NEEDS to be ridiculed.
I was raised in christianity. So most of my criticism will be aimed at the Abrahamic religions.
I intend to build harrisy on logic and reason. Not the superstition, lies, and, threats that the Abrahamic religions are built on.
As an alternative for conscientious objectors caught in the religious wars (see chapter 6).
Deities are not really necessary for inspiration or religion. An all-powerful creator wouldn't need the help or adulation of puny mortals.
Only cults and human puppet masters need that. So we leave deities to their own devises. They ought to be up to it.
Harrisy is a religion about/for humans, as religions should be.
My leadership skills suck. So I will avoid leading, to avoid becoming a cult.
Chapter 2
A bunch of rules
Everybody hates rules. But let's establish what Harrisy stands for.
10 rules is a nice round number. But when the first four are about loyalty to the cult, You have to question who the rules are meant to benefit.
The christian 'commandments' only benefit the christian cult. The commandments don't even benefit their god.
A true all-powerful, immortal, creator god, would not need human worship or loyalty. The same as humans don't need the worship of ants.
We don't make rules for ants to follow. Just stay out of our way. The Abrahamic god treats us like ants. Either ignores or steps on us. It was his cults that made the 'commandments', not their god.
(more about that in chapter 7)
Harrisy has rules to live by, to benefit HUMANS:
A) Cause no harm.
B) Treat others the way you want to be treated.
Christianity calls this 'The Golden Rule' as if they invented it. But this was part of every culture and religion that humans ever created. (except Is-lame)
C) Do not kill. Do not kill humans.
Self preservation may override this, but killing is still a bad idea.
When killing animals for food, respect their sacrifice. Killing for sport is a bad idea.
D) People are not property.
Do not try to own others, in any sense.
You belong to yourself, do not give yourself away.
E) Do not steal.
You would not want to loose your stuff. (see B) Stealing harms others.
F) Do not lie. Avoid those who lie.
You would want to know the truth. To make better decisions. (see B)
G) Do not rape.
Do not force yourself on others. Your pleasures are not more important than other people's.
This applies to more than just sex. Do not force your religion on others. Do not force harrisy on others.
H) Do not shit wherever you please.
You don't want to slog through other people's shit.
(it's a metaphor.) Leave the world better than you found it.
I) Guard your privacy. Respect the privacy of others.
Beware of others who might use info against you. Or might unduly profit off you.
We have no rules about loyalty. We understand loyalties change. Just be honest (rule E)
We have no rule specifically about Adultery. Adultery might be considered loyalty, which changes.
Or adultery might be considered stealing, stealing affection. (rule D)
Chapter 3
Secrete origins
No one knows how/why it all began. Anyone who says they know, for certain, is lying.
The answer night as well be 42.
Most religions make it a crime to ask questions about their creation myths. This promotes ignorance. Helps the cult, not the people.
We understand the 'scientific method'. Scientists ask questions and are willing to test and adapt to new info.
So, for now, we trust scientific conclusions about the beginnings.
The current best theories from science:
The universe started from what they humorously call 'The Big Bang', about 13.8 Billion years ago.
Many are curious about what came before that. But we find that to be irrelevant to our everyday life.
Some religions say their god did it so they can claim payment/gratitude/worship for it. But we owe them nothing.
The earth was formed about 4.5 Billion years ago.
Humans evolved from other critters over many, many, many Generations (not years).
Some religions claim their god did it so they can claim payment/gratitude/worship for it.
We do not owe Harrisy or any religion for our existence.
Chapter 4
The end
How does it all end?
No one knows. Anyone who says they know, for certain, is lying.
Christinity predicts a bad acid trip. (See Revaluations) Any day now. So buy your ticket to heaven early.
It's an obvious con, You sacrifice this life you already have, for the promise of another life they can't prove.
Science predicts 'Entropy'. Every atom in the universe will drift away from every other till they can't react any more.
But humans will be dead or evolved into something we can't recognize, by then. Too distant, time-wise, to worry about.
Your personal end? What happens when you die?
Most probably nothing.
Seems like every religion has a different 'afterlife'. They can't all be right. (but they can all be wrong)
You can't pick the one you want. If an 'afterlife' exists it is what it is. WE can't control it. No cult can control it.
The cults are telling you what you want to hear. So you give your CURRENT LIFE to their cult. The life that is certain, in exchange for an empty promise.
No guarantees, No refunds, You won't get your old life back if they are wrong (or lying).
Pascal's gamble is a sucker bet. It never pays out.
Harrisy aims to make This Current Life better, worth living for it's own sake. We give priority to This Current Life over any theoretical 'afterlife'.
Chapter 5
Everybody's favorite topic: SEX
What's the point of Sexual Taboos?
Why would an IMORTAL (non-sexual, non-reproducing) being give a damn?
For example in the christian cult:
*Masturbation is sin,
*Spilling your seed outside the womb is sin,
*Marrying outside the church is sin,
*Divorce is sin,
*Birth Control is sin,
*Abortion is sin,
*Marriages without offspring are invalid.
*Brand (circumcise) your males, so your females know who they are allowed to mate with,
And in Is-lame, Women are just sexual slaves.
Taken as a whole,
The only purpose served by sexual taboos, is to help the CULT out-populate rival cults.
A REAL "creator god" wouldn't give a damn. Or Wouldn't need our cooperation. it would just create more of us, as needed.
A REAL creator wouldn't threaten us, it would just change us.
Sexual Taboos are serving a cult, not a god.
Harrisy has only one sexual taboo:
Rule G) Do not rape.
Do not force yourself on others. Your pleasures are not more important than other people's.
Chapter 6
The 2000 year war
The Abrahamic religions have been at war with each other for about 2000 years. Sometimes hot, sometimes cold.
But like some other religions, at all times attempting to be 'the one true religion'. And by their competition, doing more harm than good.
And the Abrahamic religions haven't even shown that the 'good' stuff needs their religion to get done.
They preach that it is somehow noble or their duty to spread their faith. ("Onward Christian Soldiers")
There are dangers associated with proselytism and/or evangelicalism:
(Please note - I had help with the following)
Focus on Conversion over Service:
Proselytism/evangelicalism prioritizes conversion goals over humanitarian or service-oriented activities.
This undermines the credibility and effectiveness of religious organizations engaged in charitable work,
as it is perceived as conditional or insincere.
Dogmatism and Exclusivity:
Evangelicalism/proselytism promotes a rigid, dogmatic interpretation of religious beliefs that excludes other perspectives.
This exclusivity leads to intolerance of differing viewpoints and hinders constructive dialogue and cooperation with people of other faiths or worldviews.
Coercion and Manipulation:
Proselytism/evangelicalism involves coercion, manipulation, or exploitation of vulnerable individuals,
such as offering material incentives or exploiting power differentials to induce conversion.
This raises ethical concerns about respect for autonomy and informed consent.
Political Activism:
Evangelicalism/proselytism has been associated with political movements that prioritize specific social or moral issues, leading to controversy and polarization.
this politicization blurs the lines between religion and politics, compromising the integrity of both.
Interfaith Tensions:
Proselytism/evangelicalism contributes to interfaith tensions and conflicts, especially when it is aggressive or disrespectful to members of other religious communities.
It will undermine efforts to foster mutual respect, understanding, and cooperation among different faith traditions.
Fragmentation of Communities:
Proselytism/evangelicalism leads to the fragmentation or division of communities, particularly in contexts where multiple religious groups coexist.
This creates social tensions and weaken social cohesion, especially when proselytism is conducted in a confrontational or divisive manner.
Proselytization and Missionary Work:
We are concerned about aggressive or coercive methods used in proselytization/evangelicalism efforts,
especially when targeting vulnerable populations or in multicultural contexts.
This leads to cultural imperialism or disrespect for the autonomy of individuals and communities.
Cultural Insensitivity:
Proselytism/evangelicalism disregards or disrespects the cultural and religious traditions of the target community.
This leads to cultural imperialism or colonialism, especially when proselytism/evangelicalism is conducted in contexts where there is a history of exploitation or marginalization.
Misrepresentation or Simplification of Beliefs:
Proselytism/evangelicalism involves oversimplification or misrepresentation of religious beliefs and practices in order to make them more appealing to potential converts.
This leads to misunderstandings or misconceptions about the beliefs and traditions of the proselytizing religion.
For these reasons we conscientious objectors to the religious war, need an uncompetitive religion like Harris-y.
But don't push it.
Chapter 7
Humans and gods
Why do human religions have gods that are all too human?
A creator of everything that needs humans to wright/publish a holy book?
An all powerful god who needs humans to promote him?
An all powerful god with a vindictive human sized ego?
An immortal who is obsessed with human reproduction?
An all powerful god who needs humans more than we need him?
Any actual god wouldn't need human religion.
Harrisy serves humans, not gods.
Chapter 8
Parables
Corn In A Cow Patty.
Finding truth in the Abrahamic holy books,
is like finding corn in a cow patty.
Sure there are some good kernels in there,
but is it really worth digging through the shit to find them?
You can find uncontaminated kernels of truth anywhere.
Chapter 9
Feedback
Feedback should be sent to: [zachharris@mail2hell.com](mailto:zachharris@mail2hell.com)
Don't expect a timely reply.

Hey all- I just wanted to share my review of the HyperSkill browser-based learning platform for any of those that are looking for resources to help them learn or study programming.
I've used resources such as codecademy, youtube, udemy, open source coursework, freecodecamp, datacamp, graduate-level computer science courses, etc etc etc etc- and I always appreciate user-written reviews on Reddit, so I wanted to share mine. Hyperskill is the best software I've found thus far to learn to code. Hopefully this review helps.
Pros:
-A solid variety of career and skill tracks to choose from, everything from Python, to Data Science, to Java, to JavaScript, etc etc.
-Certificates actually feel like you earned them. Hyperskill requires that you complete a project of a certain difficulty (from their selection of projects), as well as a certain amount of coursework, before you're able to have the certificate issued. Having the project component makes you feel like you've actually put the coursework into practice.
-Projects can actually include multiple frameworks/technologies. For example, many of the Java projects require you to use the Spring Boot framework. This helps you learn to use relevant technologies along with the main language you're learning, since in the real world you will hardly ever use one language as a standalone technology.
-Coursework is divided into bite-sized pieces, each topic takes anywhere from 6 to 20 minutes to complete. I would set a daily goal for myself (such as completing 4 topics), and pace myself that way.
-HyperSkill syncs to your IDE, so that when you have a coding assignment to complete, it will open automatically in your IDE. Once you complete coding in the IDE, you click "check," and it will sync with your HyperSkill tab in your browser to mark it as complete. I haven't yet seen any sort of coding academy with this feature.
-There is a section that prompts you to review 4-5 previously learned topics to keep them fresh in your memory, as well as a "problem of the day". These are simple features, but they keep everything fresh in your memory with minimal effort.
Cons:
-The projects are divided into stages, you complete stage 1, then study more coursework before completing stage 2, etc. Occasionally, the test cases that need to be met for you to pass a stage are too strict and waste unnecessary time. For example, if your output matches the required output for a project stage, but has 22 lines instead of the 21 lines expected, you will not pass the stage.
-Sometimes the IDE sync feature is problematic. If you're using the PyCharm IDE while completing a Data Analysis track in HyperSkill, and then change your track to Java and need to use the IntelliJ IDE, it's confusing to switch the linked IDE from PyCharm to IntelliJ and will take several attempts.
-You earn "gems" for completing the problem of the day, project stages, and other coursework, but these gems are essentially useless and at best give you 10% off of one month of your subscription.
Projects:
Here are a few examples of projects I've created during my time using HyperSkill. Projects range from beginner level, to medium, to hard, and then challenging.
Budget Manager: https://github.com/dimicodes/Budget-Manager-Pro
Coffee Machine Simulator: https://github.com/dimicodes/Coffee-Machine-Simulator
Cinema Room Manager: https://github.com/dimicodes/Cinema-Room-Manager
"Bulls and Cows" Game: https://github.com/dimicodes/Bulls-and-Cows-Game
Final Thoughts:
Overall, I would highly recommend Hyperskill and would rate it an 8.5/10. There are definitely improvements that can be made, but when compared to similar softwares/companies, the value offered is worth it.
If you're interested in subscribing, feel free to use my referral code so that we both receive a $15 discount on one month:
https://hyperskill.org/join/3b5b7c569

Hey all- I just wanted to share my review of the HyperSkill browser-based learning platform for any of those that are looking for resources to help them learn or study programming.
I've used resources such as codecademy, youtube, udemy, open source coursework, freecodecamp, datacamp, graduate-level computer science courses, etc etc etc etc- and I always appreciate user-written reviews on Reddit, so I wanted to share mine. Hyperskill is the best software I've found thus far to learn to code. Hopefully this review helps.
Pros:
-A solid variety of career and skill tracks to choose from, everything from Python, to Data Science, to Java, to JavaScript, etc etc.
-Certificates actually feel like you earned them. Hyperskill requires that you complete a project of a certain difficulty (from their selection of projects), as well as a certain amount of coursework, before you're able to have the certificate issued. Having the project component makes you feel like you've actually put the coursework into practice.
-Projects can actually include multiple frameworks/technologies. For example, many of the Java projects require you to use the Spring Boot framework. This helps you learn to use relevant technologies along with the main language you're learning, since in the real world you will hardly ever use one language as a standalone technology.
-Coursework is divided into bite-sized pieces, each topic takes anywhere from 6 to 20 minutes to complete. I would set a daily goal for myself (such as completing 4 topics), and pace myself that way.
-HyperSkill syncs to your IDE, so that when you have a coding assignment to complete, it will open automatically in your IDE. Once you complete coding in the IDE, you click "check," and it will sync with your HyperSkill tab in your browser to mark it as complete. I haven't yet seen any sort of coding academy with this feature.
-There is a section that prompts you to review 4-5 previously learned topics to keep them fresh in your memory, as well as a "problem of the day". These are simple features, but they keep everything fresh in your memory with minimal effort.
Cons:
-The projects are divided into stages, you complete stage 1, then study more coursework before completing stage 2, etc. Occasionally, the test cases that need to be met for you to pass a stage are too strict and waste unnecessary time. For example, if your output matches the required output for a project stage, but has 22 lines instead of the 21 lines expected, you will not pass the stage.
-Sometimes the IDE sync feature is problematic. If you're using the PyCharm IDE while completing a Data Analysis track in HyperSkill, and then change your track to Java and need to use the IntelliJ IDE, it's confusing to switch the linked IDE from PyCharm to IntelliJ and will take several attempts.
-You earn "gems" for completing the problem of the day, project stages, and other coursework, but these gems are essentially useless and at best give you 10% off of one month of your subscription.
Projects:
Here are a few examples of projects I've created during my time using HyperSkill. Projects range from beginner level, to medium, to hard, and then challenging.
Budget Manager: https://github.com/dimicodes/Budget-Manager-Pro
Coffee Machine Simulator: https://github.com/dimicodes/Coffee-Machine-Simulator
Cinema Room Manager: https://github.com/dimicodes/Cinema-Room-Manager
"Bulls and Cows" Game: https://github.com/dimicodes/Bulls-and-Cows-Game
Final Thoughts:
Overall, I would highly recommend Hyperskill and would rate it an 8.5/10. There are definitely improvements that can be made, but when compared to similar softwares/companies, the value offered is worth it.
If you're interested in subscribing, feel free to use my referral code so that we both receive a $15 discount on one month:
https://hyperskill.org/join/3b5b7c569

So after 5 years of crypto investing I've finally exited all my positions.
I got in early when my mate introduced me when the price was sub 10k and we'd often chat about the price breaking 10k and would have a lot of banter and meme based chat about it.
This led to me investing for years into the industry and to be honest I brainwashed myself into thinking that this tech had genuine utility - for a while it looked like this might be the case and I genuinely thought that at one point I might be able to buy a house/ car with my bitcoin.
However, as we have all realised there is absolute 0 utility for this technology. Truly useful technology doesn't need to hunt for a problem to solve - it just solves a problem, and frankly by this point if crypto isn't being used it proves (after decades) its just a Ponzi (as people in this sub have realised).
I felt compelled to make a post as I actually feel bad for the people I sold to - the greater fool theory rings true as perhaps at the other end of my transaction there will be someone with hopes and dreams of turning that bitcoin into a house or car, which of course it won't.
I decided at the current price after the bull run, the difference in my life would be minimal even if it reached 100k, 200k and even at 1 mill it be a soulless lottery win (pure greed and speculation). I hope someone else in a similar situation might see this and understand that cold hard profits landing in your account taste a lot better than the fake dream money that crypto promises.
I feel lucky to be on the right side of this, but damn there will be tonne of people on the wrong side when it all comes crashing down (I predict a Tether capitulation to be the catalyst) which I truly feel for.
Stay safe!

Previous post

A lapdog's brainless zeal

The Entourage! Whence comes¹ such creatures so eager to abandon all pretense of the sedentary? One envisages haste of blubbering excitement, slippery gleam in the eye, a lapdog’s brainless zeal, as a canvas bag is stuffed full of slips and whatnot, with all the grace of a fakir backstage moments before performing before a gouty king. A whirlwind rush through rooms like shrines, and then out!

We get Flicker dropping back into his more heightened style, starting off with a declamation. Remember how we ended the last section

He would unveil himself in Farrog, and then they would all see. Calap Roud, that stunning watery-eyed dancer, Purse Snippet, and the Entourage too—

So this is very much an interruption. Previously we had Flicker placing himself inside Brash's head, until he mentions the Entourage, at which point he switches completely and breaks out into this much more heightened description.
Flicker is back in his picture-painting mode as well, as he imagines the backgrounds of these girls. The first sentence is posed as a question, but is really more of a statement. I love the phrase "abandon all pretense of the sedentary". They were clearly from a wealthy background, living a carefree life before, but now they've chosen to drop it all to follow (in this instance literally follow) their favorite artist.
He imagines the scenario surrounding their departure, with the "blubbering excitement", a "slippery gleam in the eye", and of course "a lapdog's brainless zeal". I'm curious about the "slippery" descriptor there. Especially when paired with the lapdog comment, it calls to mind a dog skidding and sliding on a slippery floor as they're completely unable to contain their excitement. Does anyone have a different reading?
Then they stuff a canvas bag full of slips (as in the clothing, not as in paper slips) and "whatnot", showing how they're clearly not thinking this through, but rather just throwing things in their bag and running out the door. I love the comparison to the fakir. First of all, it hearkens back to the Arabian Nights inspiration, while also giving us the image of a fakir rushing to get ready for his act, but more important is how it works as a metaphor.
The Entourage (who as we will soon learn are all young women) are here posed as a performer, performing in front of an old, fat, wealthy man. It really spotlights the power imbalance between them and their idol. Then we end the paragraph on a sentence that I'm having a really hard time figuring out. What is the significance of the rooms being like shrines? Shrines are (definitionally) places of worship. So it's like they're rushing past these places intended for worship in order to worship their idol, perhaps implying that it would have been more productive to stay and worship a real god. But these aren't shrines, but rather rooms like shrines, so it would be a worship of the home or something in that direction. I don't think this would imply a worship of domesticity, the metaphor is not fleshed out enough for that. I think it's simply saying that they should rather try to stay connected to their roots. I must say I'm not fully convinced by this reading. What do you all think?

Holding up a mirror

Pattering feet, a trio, all converging in unsightly gallop quick to feminize into a skip and prance once He Who Is Worshipped is in sight. The Entourage accompanies the Perfect Artist everywhere, gatherings great and small, public and intimate. They build the walls of the formidable, impregnable keep that is the Perfect Artist’s ego. They patrol the moat, flinging away all but the sweetest defecatory intimations of mortality. They stand sentinel in every postern gate, they gush down every sluice, they are the stained glass to paint rainbows upon their beloved’s perfectly turned profile.

I absolutely love this image we get here of these three girls "converging in unsightly gallop" with their "pattering feet". It's juxtaposing two images, one dainty and the other the exact opposite. If you've seen one of those videos of cows being released out to pasture after the winter, that's basically what I'm picturing. But as soon as they're in the presence of their idol they switch into an exaggeratedly feminine gait.
Then there's the intentionally vague description of their idol. We don't get the name, but he's called He Who Is Worshipped and the Perfect Artist. This is a reminder that we're not talking about particulars, but rather the general case, in particular how people behave in real life fandoms. Let's examine the rest of this paragraph while keeping in mind that this is Erikson is holding up a mirror to us. And you thought you were safe?
The Entourage is always where their artist is. I think this is especially true in the modern day where fans have practically unlimited access to their favourite artists. And they act as defenders of their artist, and notice how at no point here we get any sense that this Perfect Artist asked for any such thing. They build up their own unassailable version of their artist, and then dismiss any criticism except the most basic, toothless ones.
Finally we get these three statements, two quick ones, and a longer one. They "stand sentinel..." is essentially a continuation of the previous sentence. Then they "gush down every sluice". This is a strange turn of phrase to say the least. A sluice is of course a sort of water channel, and since we're in this castle metaphor, it's likely meant as a preventative measure against flooding. But it's not water that's the risk here, but the gushing of the fans.
And lastly they are the stained glass windows that "paint rainbows" on their idol (with a nice alliteration on perfectly and profile). I really like this one. They are not only viewing their idol through rose-tinted glass, but they have made themselves a piece of stained glass, that colors the artist in every color of the rainbow. They are creating a false, or at least exaggerated, image of the artist, and projecting that image to others as well. I think this whole description really mirrors how fanatically devoted some people can get around their favorite artist, and I don't think we should exclude ourselves from this.

Let's back up a little

But let us not snick and snack overmuch, for each life is a wonder unto itself, and neither contempt nor pity do a soul sound measures of health, lest some issue of envy squeeze free in unexpectedly public revelation. The object of this breathless admiration must wait for each sweet woman’s moment upon the stage in the bull’s eye lantern light of our examination.

Flicker yet again addresses the audience directly. The phrase "snick and snack" here is interesting. A snick can of course be a small cut, and there's definitely been enough of those so far. I think the snack is not intended to have a semantic meaning, but is rather intended to complement the onomatopoeic sound of snick. The word "overmuch" is also doing a lot of heavy lifting here. Some snicking and snacking is fine, but let's not get carried away.
The "each life is a wonder..." part is hilarious. This is definitely an example of overpraising, where Flicker uses hyperbolic language while implying a much more subdued meaning. He's now spent two whole paragraphs detailing how ridiculous and vapid the Entourage is, but now he's all "oh the miracle of life etc. etc." So even when he's talking about how he should stop mocking them, he continues the mockery. Absolutely savage.
He then encourages us to not view them with pity or contempt. Possibly because it would be condescending to do so. Certainly nobody likes being viewed that way, and Flicker claims that it is at best unhelpful to take those attitudes. I am a bit confused, however, about the mention of envy. Is Flicker saying that he is envious of them? Or is he warning us to not be envious? Is there a risk, when expressing pity or contempt, of appearing envious? Are the Entourage themselves envious when we do that? I admit I'm kind of lost here. What do you think?
Flicker ends by calling attention to the fact that we haven't really discussed the Entourage's Perfect Artist at all. He's been this remote figure this whole time, almost irrelevant to the conduct of his fans. Note also how he's called an "object". That word has been used once before in this story, and it was to describe the way Purse Snippet was viewed by Calap Roud. This is not an accident. FlickeErikson is saying that the way the Entourage views their Perfect Artist is not entirely dissimilar to the way Calap Roud, a disgusting old pervert, leers at a much younger woman. Again, this is not lust for the artist themself, but rather for the godlike image that the fans have constructed of the artist.
And before we can know that artist, we are going to be introduced to these three young women, each more ridiculous than the last, before we get to their Perfect Artist. Indeed, they must suffer the "bull's eye lantern light of our examination". This is a great description of what Flicker has been doing so far with his ruthless introduction. He also doesn't call it an interrogation or even a description. No, he's simply examining each of these characters, down to their core².
And that does it for this week's post. Next time we'll be discussing Sellup, the oldest member of the Entourage. See you all next week!
¹ I don't know exactly what to do with this seeming error. It strikes me as an editing artifact. That is, Erikson originally wrote this sentence differently, then changed the wording but forgot to change the whole sentence.
² And it's worth remembering that he may well be making all of this up.

We already have animals that eat plants, hunt other animals, and some mobs can even breed on their own (villagers)
I know "ecosystems" in Minecraft sound complicated, but I think there’s a vanilla friendly way to do it with just 2 simple rules:

The 2 Basic Rules of the Ecosystem:

1. All animal mobs require constant food or they will eventually starve and die (without giving any drops.)
2. Animals who get more than enough food will breed on their own.

Both of these rules happen SLOWLY overtime. Manual breeding is still the fastest way to get animals, they'll now just need a source of renewable food like grass blocks to avoid starvation.
But with just those 2 rules you can simulate entire ecosystems everywhere in Minecraft!
Unfortunately in Minecraft right now this would be pretty unbalanced and most animals would eventually reproduce way too much or become extinct. How can we fix this to make default worlds a little more self-sustaining?

Basic ideas to help balance things:

• Any area that spawns with a large amount of herbivores (Cows, Sheep, Chicken, Pigs, Rabbits, etc.) also needs to spawn near by predators (Foxes, Wolves, Polar Bears, etc.) to keep their population in check. (and vice versa!)
• Since grass is SO abundant, it should provide less food points. Enough to keep an animal alive, but it would take awhile for them to eat enough to be able to reproduce. Rarer plants like tall grass and flowers provide more food points and encourage breeding.
• When an animal dies of starvation on grass, it will act like bonemeal and create more of these rarer extra nourishing plants. If herbivore populations start dying out they'll naturally be given more food to help balance them!
• The AI of predators and prey will need to be improved to make them better at hunting and avoiding being eaten.
• And in order to truly have a balanced system there would probably just need to be more variety of predators, prey and plant food sources to fit each of Minecraft’s environments.

It would need lots of tweaks, but ideally this would make the default Minecraft world full of balanced, self sustaining ecosystems, that only the player could mess up.

The players effect on these ecosystems:

• If a players removes too many of one type of an animal in an area, not only are you likely to cause it to go extinct there, but you’re also hurting all the nearby animals that depend on it.
• If you remove all the predators in an area, the herbivore’s population will increase and they will overeat their plant food source. All the grass, flowers and mushrooms will eventually be eaten faster than they can grow back leaving the area barren, and eventually the herbivores will starve.
• If you remove the plants in an area for your own buildings, it can harm the entire ecosystem!
• If you introduce non native plants or animals into new environments, they may immediately die off or worse: outcompete the existing ecosystem and cause catastrophic effects!

If all of this sounds too drastic, keep it mind that it happens slowly over a long period of time, you have time to help your ecosystem recover! It can also be disabled as a gamerule if it just doesn't interest you at all.
Okay that's the idea, thanks for reading!
/
You're still here?
Okay if you wanted to take this a step further and create truly realistic adaptable ecosystems... I’d suggest one final rule...

Rule 3: Evolution!

1. All animals’ have unique stats. They’re a combination of their parents + a small random factor. The better stats they have, the more food points they require to survive and breed.

This may sound too complicated, but we already have this mechanic with horses, so I think it would fit nicely in this system.
This is essentially basic evolution. Natural selection would make it so only the animals with stats that best benefit their specific environment will survive.
Areas with high food but high predators will develop stats that help them escape easier. Areas with low food will develop worse stats that require less food. Areas with low food but high predators will need to develop behaviors to avoid predators that don't cost more food (like hiding instead of running)
Here are all the stats that animals can change through reproduction:

• Movement speed (High food point cost)
• Health (High food point cost)
• Amount of offspring they have (High food point cost)
• How good is their range of vision for seeing predators, food, and finding mates? (Medium food point cost)
• Do they run from predators or hide from them? (Running would use up food points)
• How much do they randomly wander around? (Wandering would use up food points)
• Do they want to stay close to other animals or avoid them? (No cost difference, but this effects competition for resources and chances of escaping a predator.)

This is just a very rudimentary proof of concept idea. I can think of many other ways to build off of it, but to keep things simple I'll leave it at this for now.
What do you think? Does this ruin Minecraft? Is it all too complicated? I think it would be tricky to get right, but it makes the animals in the game much more interesting and teaches the player the consequences for messing with the environment, which I think Mojang wants.