Sayings about she s on his mind

Hello all,
I currently need some advice on how to go about this.
I’ve been dating this guy who I met on Hinge for a little more than a month and a half now. Things were going pretty well until his ex girlfriend was brought up. He had plans from a few months ago to see her for his birthday next week. He canceled the trip since he met me however, I came across her Twitter. She told me that they were still together when he was on Hinge back in March. She also told me that he’s been keeping in contact with him and even knew where he was this past weekend which was at his parents house. She told me he shared his location with her. When I asked him about it he said they ended months ago and told me he began sharing his location with her over a year ago and forgot to turn it off. She also knew about the dates we’ve gone on and said he posted a picture of us on his Instagram story one time. However, he told me he had deleted Instagram and no longer used it. I searched his account up and found it. But it’s on private. When I brought this up to him he told me that what she said wasn’t true and she probably knew where he was cause again, he was still sharing his location with her. If you read through her tweets, all she talks about how he’s still begging for her to stay in his life. He claims everything she’s saying is a lie, she’s psycho, and bitter. He also claims that he doesn’t talk to her anymore and has her blocked on everything but for some reason, I don’t believe him. I refuse to believe she still tweets about him this much for no reason without them still being in contact. He tells me that this is her way of “sabotaging ” his new relationships or whatever. I feel like ever since this has been brought up, he’s been acting different towards me. He claims that he only has eyes for me and blah, blah, blah but this just makes it difficult to believe that. I’m not sure what to do at this point, but if you were in my position what would you do? Believe her and leave him? Or believe him and look past this?

I have been broken up with my ex for about 3 years. We started dating in high school and were together for about 3 years before he broke up with me. He was my first love, first everything and so I took the breakup pretty hard. We still would hook up during that summer that we were broken up (honestly in hopes that we would get back together) until about November. During my breakup I started hanging out with my old high school friend group and started getting close with one of the guys in the group that I’ve known since forever. I never knew he had any feelings for me but once he realized I was single things progressed pretty fast and I felt like I was in falling in love with him. At the end of December we became official and I was very happy. This relationship was very different from my first - I went from being the chaser to being chased and it felt good to be with someone who felt so strongly for me. Once my ex found out I was seeing someone else, he completely changed tune and decided he wanted to get back together. As hard as it was for me I told him it was too late and that was that. He moved away for about a year and I stayed back home. Although he eventually did return, I never ran into him or saw him for the entire three years that I was dating my current bf. Fast forward to a couple months ago, I was out with some girl friends when he comes up to my group to say hi. I felt my heart drop to my stomach, i was in shock, spiraling, feeling guilty, a ton of emotions. He was very friendly and just wanted to catch up but I felt like I was so caught off guard at the moment that I I didn’t really have much to say. It ended like that and I didn’t see him again until last night. My friend was graduating and she invited him to her party. I knew he was coming so I mentally prepared myself for seeing him. I also brought my bf with me so I felt a little more safe. Once we got there we said the awkward two second hello and I went to be with my friends and he was with his. There was even a moment that my bf and my ex were talking to eachother for about an hour. A seemingly friendly conversation where according to my bf they were telling eachother that they don’t have any bad feelings for one another, that it should be normal seeing eachother, that my current bf never tried anything while I was with my ex for all those years (Which is true). I on the other hand felt very anxious the whole night, felt like I was looking over to him the whole time, just felt a ball in my stomach and I don’t really know why. I really couldn’t sleep and dreamt about my bf and my ex last night. I woke up this morning feeling anxious too about these emotions I’m feeling. Which I can’t really describe. I love my bf so much. He’s been an amazing partner to me. And after being with him, I realize now that my ex was right - as much as we loved eachother, we weren’t compatible. Or maybe we were too young to be in such a serious relationship. Either way, we didn’t work. And when you are with someone where everything is easy, you can tell the difference. But obviously every relationship is different and things I have in this one, I didn’t have in the previous and vice versa. sometimes I find myself comparing certain things but I also feel that’s natural when you’ve had two big loves in your life. I guess what I want to ask is if it is normal to have these feelings after being broken up with for so long and being with someone else for so long. I try to get advice from my friends, but no one has ever really been in the situation I’ve been. Some say it’s completely normal and some say its not - that there is a deeper meaning to it. Hoping someone out there has experienced this and can help :(

For context on this situation I was 20 my partner 28 when it took place. For his birthday I had given him a joke present (along with some normal presents) that was a sex coupon that he could use and I couldn’t refuse. It seemed like a harmless silly present at the time but when the events happened he had been drinking a bit which was normal for him sadly. This always put me off being open to letting him sleep with me.
For more context I’m also asexual and have no desire for sex (he knew this before dating me). So when he asked for sex and I said no I don’t want to, he said could he use the coupon and I said i didn’t want him to as I don’t want to but in the end he went and got it anyways and was like what was the point of giving it to him if he wasn’t allowed to use it. He told me he was cashing it in and I ended up having to give in even though I didn’t want to have sex.
We had sex and it was miserable
After he finished he said he was sorry, that it didn’t feel right and he never wanted sex like that again.
Months later I’m now on a break with him (my choice) due to other reasons. I was talking to my friend recently about everything that’s happened since staring dating to now and this day came up. She said got really emotional gave me a hug and apologised. Said to me that this was coercion rape. I had never thought it might’ve been rape before but the more I’ve thought about it the more I think it could’ve been.
Was it rape? Or was it not because I wrote on the coupon that I can’t say no???

So at the climax of Revenge of the Sith, when Anakin has gone all 9/11 and is flailing about in his lifelong misery while taking the galaxy down with him, he and Obi-Wan start arguing about political differences, religious beliefs, and whether it’s morally acceptable to murder hundreds if not thousands of people along the way to get there. Obi-Wan takes the valid stance of it not being cool, and makes it clear he’s going to fuck Anakin’s shit up for all his dark deeds. Anakin is eager for this because as said above, he’s riding high on FUBAR as a state of being and seeks the catharsis/validation of beating someone he can project all his problems onto. Thus, we get the baddest lightsaber duel there is, and you know the rest.
Now a lot of the time, people drag their knuckles about the line “Only a Sith deals in absolutes” and how it’s some kind of indicator of inherent Jedi hypocrisy or dramatic irony or George Lucas being a hack or what-fucking-have-you. I don’t really care because I think it's stupid, as Jocasta Nu illustrates for us here, and it’s not the point I want to make. Instead, I’d like to draw your attention to the line Obi-Wan drops before: “Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic, to democracy!”
Nice delivery by Ewan aside, the meaning of this line is pretty clear: that Obi-Wan, in the face of Anakin flying completely and absolutely batshit off the handle into Divine-Right-of-Kings-For-Those-I-Love, is declaring himself an ally to the Republic and democracy specifically. That he is a very pro-democracy individual and considers it a part of the Republic. Which, cool, because Anakin is totally bugfuck nuts at this point and anything he believes in is probably bugfuck nuts as well so it’s smart to avoid it.
The thing is though, that Obi-Wan is wrong. Actually, he's not just wrong, he's speaking nonsense that is genuinely complete nonsense to hear from a Jedi in the Prequel Era Republic. Because let's recap a few details:
The Jedi Order of the Prequels inducts their initiates as infants or toddlers, with an aged nine Anakin being considered way too old. Now it's their prerogative to take students as they wish (though the thousand years of uniformity unsurprisingly severely backfires), but generally speaking, children under nine are learning things like what's acceptable to put in your mouth and how to read, write, and use the bathroom. The ability to choose "make me a Jedi for life" is genuinely nonexistent for them, so right off the bat, one of the basic democratic cornerstones is also nonexistent for them. It's also not like the Jedi are just Space Catholics/Buddhists: they are explicitly raised and taught to serve the (increasingly corrupt) Republic and its (gradually growing in obscenity until they have to violate their identities as peacekeepers) needs. The actual ability to choose for Jedi is already in the negative double digits.
And for whichever one of you that's breaking their keyboard typing about how Jedi can leave if they want, I'm already aware, thanks for nothing. The thing is that A.) the ability to be able to refuse to participate in something you did not actually sign up for is what I would consider the absolute bare minimum, B.) it doesn't change the part where they don't make the choice to join to begin with, and C.) given how Jedi are taken into the Order usually before they even begin forming concrete memories, we can probably assume that's the reason so few do. When you're raised in that environment for your entire life, the choice to leave is synonymous with abandoning everything you've ever known, which is pretty terrifying.
Moving on: in the Jedi Order, the positions of authority are broken up between the Grand Master (who leads the entire Jedi Order), the Master of the Jedi Order (who is the leaderepresentative officer of the Council), and the Jedi Council. Let's talk about how the buck of leadership is passed around these people, and how there's frighteningly little oversight for the vast majority of the Jedi. Pay attention to the bold words.
The Council is made up of twelve Jedi Masters, including the Grand Master and Master of the Order (this was Yoda and Mace respectively in the PT) who historically are the same person holding both titles. In ROTS, Anakin serves as the senate-appointed representative, an extreme breach of tradition and what sends the Council into dealing with Palpatine's dictatorship (long after the Chad Mace Windu had sobered up to his increasing power and the problems of the war in the EU). While there's no 13th chair made for him, it's never clarified who Anakin was replacing or why there was an open spot at the moment. Though we can probably assume it was due to a wartime event, like the previous Council member being violently executed with a planet full of civilians on the HoloNet by the Separatists as part of their terror campaigns a week ago, it ultimately doesn't matter because this isn't about him.
The twelve seats are split between five lifetime members, four long-term members (and the end to that term is entirely decided on what's the "approved end date", not an actual hard number), and three limited-term members (that limit is not stated). If a lifetime appointment member dies, then it's possible for a long-term member to succeed them or for the Council to choose another Jedi Master at their own discretion, and the long-and-short-term members can be elevated to another position in the Council and have their term extended. The Council, in addition to serving as the liasion between the Jedi and the Senate, are also responsible for deciding when Padawans have progressed to the point of being ready for the Trials to become a Jedi Knight.
(Before I get some wannabe trying to blast me in the comments for using supplementary material to make an argument, take a look at the lineup of the Council in the movies. In the ten year period between TPM and AOTC, there have been only two switches in membership (which in extended material usually involves both being killed), and the three year period after AOTC leading up to ROTS being a war makes it questionable whether term limits became a thing, or Council members just stepped down or got killed off. Not really ideal).
Now notice how, nowhere in the above, is there a "members of the Jedi Order vote for who should be on the Council" option. Even if you want to argue that there should be a qualification factor, like say, holding the rank of Master, that still leaves a large candidate pool open where the actual rank-and-file of the Jedi could decide who they wanted making decisions. We're talking about a group that's supposed to be at least 10,000 members strong at this point, I somehow believe there are enough people willing and capable of leadership given the opportunity. Let alone the idea of immutable, set term limits.
Instead, it's basically just Yoda (also: very telling that the dude who probably only missed a four digit lifespan due to an unholy amount of trauma and misery at the tail end of it is a key decision maker for everything) and a couple of other people (who very well might have similarly lengthy lifetimes on account of being aliens) holding onto power for insanely extended periods of time and selecting who else gets to hold on to power for insanely extended periods of time at the whims of this inner circle. This is obviously a little less than preferable for how leadership should be handled, and that's not even taking into account how the Council seems to be the only real governing body of the Jedi Order.
But let's sidestep how completely anti-democratic the Jedi Order is internally, and focus on its external agency. The Jedi, despite being members of the Republic and a key cornerstone of it as a government institution, are never shown able to participate in the Senate in any meaningful way, shape, or form, such as actually voting for senators to be representatives of any star system. Let me remind you, this is the same senate where megacorporations get to have their own seats, so we aren't exactly talking about a sacred and honorable institution here.
Even if you want to assume the Jedi wouldn't want to influence the elections of systems they technically aren't part of (because of the above-mentioned total removal from their homes and cultures to become Jedi), there's an enormous leap between that and the basic ability to vote for who you'll be taking orders from. Why can't the Jedi have a voice in the government when Space Exxon gets to have their own senator? Even if it's just something as basic as "participate in the vote for who will become Chancellor of the Republic", that would be A.) an enormous leap towards the Jedi Order getting to participate in a democracy, and B.) exercising the absolute bare minimum of power in the system they are part of and help uphold. Maybe if there had been Senatorial Representative Jedi Master Shii-Par Kewwll in the PT, they could have turned the vote against Palpatine in TPM! Or advised Jar Jar against giving Palpatine emergency powers in AOTC! But nah, we can't have the defenders of the Republic decide anything about how it operates, that's too much.
Actually though, scratch that, the Jedi wouldn't actually be participating in a democracy even if there was a Senatorial Representative Jedi Master Shii-Par Kewell. Because according to the Prequels worldbuilding, senators don't even have to actually be selected by the systems they represent. Let's look at Padme's case: She is supposed to represent the Chommel sector of the Republic, a system that holds about thirty-six different planets. You would imagine then, Padme had to be elected by all of them, or some other selective process, to act as their representative, no?
Nope. The only system we are ever informed of regarding the election of senators is that 1/36th of their constituency-in this case-their home planet's ruler-has them serve as the representative. Even if Padme is from Naboo, that doesn't make her part of the Queen's administration if she serves as the senator of the entire Chommel sector. The fact we only get one other named political representative for the Chommel sector in Jar Jar, who is representing the second species of Naboo, doesn't suggest much involvement from the other planets they are supposed to be serving.
Hell, Padme herself wasn’t even democratically elected if we go off her own account of Naboo’s post-TPM political history. After she served her second term as Queen, the population wanted to abolish term limits to keep her in power, which she refused to accept and the next Queen, Jamilla, was elected. Queen Jamilla then has Padme become their senator through the tried-and-true democratic process of…requesting her to serve. Nowhere is the mention of other candidates, an election, anything that isn’t just the monarch asking the previous monarch very nicely if she’ll take over the job for the entire sector.
It also bears noting that the only reason there is a current monarch that’s not Padme is because Padme refused to follow the people’s wishes, which were to break term limits on the monarchy for her to stay as Queen…which can be summarized as “one person making everyone else agree”. Now, that’s not to criticize Padme for preserving what shreds of legitimacy Naboo has as a government, but breaking term limits so someone can spend fifteen years total controlling policy is nuts. From fourteen to twenty-nine, Padme has massive control over Naboo’s politics, which is an insane amount of time even if people had wanted her to serve another term as Queen and presumably were all in on her being Senator as a result. Even if the people had wanted it, there not being a formal election means that this system is just begging to be abused. Wonder how Palpatine got his start, huh…
So to recap: if you’re a Jedi in the Prequels, you have been picked up from when you were very small to be raised in a system you will have no conceivable influence on at any point in your life. As part of that system, you are also taught to serve another system you will never have any conceivable influence over, and it’s very likely that the vast majority of the populace that make up that system don’t have any hope of conceivably influencing it either. This is the amount of agency you will have over your entire life, unless you decide “hey, I’m going to leave now, can I keep the lightsaber so I can fight off the wolves I’m being thrown to?”, which the Jedi at least have the good will to offer as an option in contrast to the Republic. Turns out that when Anakin’s starting to talk about authoritarianism in AOTC, he’s actually just telling Padme about how the Jedi and Republic operate as institutions, and how the daily life of the average member of both is just getting teabagged by everything ever. There was never any democracy to save in the Republic, the characters are all living in a shared delusion that cracks on an accelerated timeline when Palpatine starts his Sithma grindset, and the only solution was to send Anakin in with a flamethrower and let him cry himself out burning everything down, so the ashes could be used as soil and his tears as water to grow something better with.
I should probably be clear that I don’t get the sense much of this was intentional. Lucas often flip-flops in his BTS commentary about the Jedi, and that’s without getting into how it actually plays out in the stories he writes. Despite the Republic and Clone Wars being a deliberate criticism of America, a lot of the politics are muddied and not really fleshed out for the audience. The lack of interest in Padme as a character is clear for everyone to see, so it’s no surprise a lot of her story has more than a few headscratchers. I think it’s clear there’s a lot of stuff in the PT that wasn’t completely thought out or put together well, and this is another instance of such a thing occurring.
Ultimately to me, it doesn’t matter too much what that intent was. If your takeaway from the Prequels is that the Jedi and Republic were hopelessly fucked from the beginning and both systems needed to be entirely flipped on their heads to even begin to be democratic, all that matters is that you can back it up from within the films themselves, as I have done with the above. The point is, the Jedi and Republic were not soulfully democratic in any sense, their defenders and allies were not supporters of democracy as a result, and Obi-Wan took yet another L. It’s just how he rolls, gotta love that for him.
TL;DR: A lot of the ways the Jedi operate as an entity, and their dynamics with themselves, in service to the Republic, and outside parties as part of the Republic, makes far more sense when you read about how George Lucas considers them to be peacekeepers in the same way mafia dons are. Based Nute Gunray, dodging an offer he couldn’t refuse in TPM?
(Also if you come away from this post thinking it’s point was “OP is saying the Jedi are bad/evil” and I see that shit in the comments: you’re a moron. This post has sailed over your head. You have the same level of reading ability and intelligence as the Avatar movies do cultural impact. Go outside and touch the grass.)

Found alcohol in brother’s room, again.
About a year ago I found a shoebox in my 17 year old brother’s room with vapes, weed pens, and mushroom gummies. I talked with him, told him he should stop, and tossed the box.
A month after that I saw him throwing away a white claw in the outisde trash.
A month after that I found a fireball shooter outside the garage floor.
A week ago, he skipped class, turned off his phone/location, and I found a bag of fireball shooters in his closet.
I understand he’s at the age where teen’s experiment but this doesn’t seem normal. He is 18 but will be living under my mother’s roof for the next few years guaranteed.
My father is overseas and my mother works 7 days a week and is extremely religious. When she found out he skipped school last week and she wasn’t able to find him for a few hours; she was throwing up at work from stress (She doesn’t even know about his drug/alcohol use at this point). If I tell her, she would probably die this is not an exaggeration.
I have never been close with him and he constantly lies to everyone in the family. I actually can’t remember the last time he was honest with any of us.
But I still feel like I should say something before he goes too far. I haven’t been able to sleep for 3 days and get sick to my stomach thinking about how I can approach this. I really need advice on what to say.

About a year ago I found a shoebox in my 17 year old brother’s room with vapes, weed pens, and mushroom gummies. I talked with him, told him he should stop, and tossed the box.
A month after that I saw him throwing away a white claw in the outisde trash.
A month after that I found a fireball shooter outside the garage floor.
A week ago, he skipped class, turned off his phone/location, and I found a bag of fireball shooters in his closet.
I understand he’s at the age where teen’s experiment but this doesn’t seem normal. He is 18 but will be living under my mother’s roof for the next few years guaranteed.
My father is overseas and my mother works 7 days a week and is extremely religious. When she found out he skipped school last week and she wasn’t able to find him for a few hours; she was throwing up at work from stress (She doesn’t even know about his drug/alcohol use at this point). If I tell her, she would probably die this is not an exaggeration.
I have never been close with him and he constantly lies to everyone in the family. I actually can’t remember the last time he was honest with any of us.
But I still feel like I should say something before he goes too far. I haven’t been able to sleep for 3 days and get sick to my stomach thinking about how I can approach this. I really need advice on what to say.

Over the past 2 years I have been struggling to connect with my husband. Two years ago I discovered he went on a secret trip with one his female friends (20-something F) when I saw pictures of her in a bikini on their WhatsApp chat (our kid was messing with his phone and was sending mistyped messages to all his chats). Up until then I wasn’t the type to even worry or bother to look at his phone, we even had each others fingerprints on our cellphones, and I didn’t even have any issues with his female friends. I found these pictures so disconcerting and in a blind rage moment read his conversation with her, I found out they went out to dance one night he told me he was on a soccer match with his friends. Then I saw messages where he was talking about our marriage and our sex life (in that time we were going through a dry spell because with a newborn and postpartum depression, sex was the last thing on my mind). Then I saw messages from a massage parlor catered only to men (the type that has a catalogue of women for him to choose from) and him scheduling a session. We had a big argument over this. He said nothing happened, that she is just a friend that needed him and he didn’t tell me about that to not upset me. Honestly, writing all this I can see how unbelievably clear it all sounds. I lost all trust in his word. And if I’m being 100% honest, the only reason I’m still married to him is because oh my little girl, he is a great dad and she is so connected to her father. I’m not ready to be a divorced single mom, I just want to know how can I live in the same house and not care about all that’s happened. I’ve tried to ignore everything but he says or does something that brings me back to that discomfort and rage. I want to be able to coexist with him, like older generations did when infidelity happened. Any advice is welcome.
TL:DR - I want to find a way to live with my cheating husband and keep my marriage because of my kid, even though I don’t trust him.

This is my ranking of every Impractical Jokers episode starting when Joe left. I was going to wait until season 10 was over to post this, but I’m just gonna post it now, as I have no idea if season 10 is done or still going.
I’ll be referring to the episodes by their celebrity guests, but that’s only because that’s how IJ names their episodes. I’ll be judging the episodes as a whole, not just the guest.
I’m only doing mainline episodes, meaning no “sideline smacktalk” or shark week special.
25. Bobby Moinahan
In general, I like challenges where the Jokers have to convince a mark to go along with what they’re doing, but making it so both challenges had that goal made this episode monotonous. The telethon challenge was particularly disappointing, as I think there was a ton of potential to make the marks do a bunch of wacky things, but it wound up being “insult the customer” over and over.
The punishment also felt disjointed. Murr having to annoy and creep out wedding dress buyers was pretty standard, but making him eat his wedding band and then wear a wedding dress to the airport seemed really tacked on.
24. Jillian Bell
The “you’re fired” challenge was a swing and a miss. Not only is it not fun to watch the Jokers just act like jerks of their own volition, but the ruleset is backwards because it requires you to be a jerk and then you’ll lose if you do too good a job. I think this game could be easily fixed if they made the first half be a standard “refuse you lose” and then fire the mark and beg for your job.
The “one more minute” skit was pretty cringey (this is coming from someone who likes the skits more than the average IJ fan) and I much preferred the deleted skit shown on “Filming with the stars”
The punishment was really underwhelming.
The one saving grace was the “Boot and Rally” challenge, which isn’t one I’d want to see again, but was still entertaining because of how over the top it was, and because of how self aware they were that it’s not a good challenge.
23. David Cross
They basically copied and pasted one of the Rob Riggle skits for this episode. Even though the skits are the least important part of the show, it’s still kind of upsetting to see them get recycled.
The challenges were fairly average, with the exception of Max Zoda dragging down Sal’s turn.
I did like the punishment. The post-Joe episodes have been pretty dependent on physically painful punishments, but this one was pretty creative both in using various methods to torture Murr, and in doing it in a context where it seems acceptable.
22. Adam Pally and Jon Gabrus
The babysitting challenge was solid, and I like the choice to play beer pong with the guests instead of doing a skit. In fact, I think it would’ve been better to consistently show authentic interactions with the guests instead of skits. They could even make it a callback to the walking bits from season 1.
Sal’s shock punishment was also pretty entertaining. Although it is watered down by the abundance of physical punishments in this era of the show.
21. Paul Scheer
The two challenges were solid, but the punishment was pretty underwhelming. The overall idea is pretty funny after it’s explained, but the entertainment value dissipates after the first couple rounds.
20. Colin Jost
The ice cream challenge was an improvement over the “you’re fired” challenge from last episode. While it still involved the vague command of “act like a jerk”, they now made the mark a witness instead of a victim, and the Jokers were actually rewarded instead of punished for fulfilling that command.
This episode also opted to show a real interaction with its guest instead of a skit, which again, is a decision I like.
The love guru’s challenge was solid, with the best part being when the guy claimed to know about the relationship expert Murr and Sal made up.
The punishment was entertaining, but again, kind of diluted by how many physical punishments there have been recently.
19. Eric André Returns
Fairly underwhelming as an episode, but never to the point that I wasn’t enjoying it. The best part was Sal talking about his exploding wife.
18. Harvey Guillen
The lawyer challenge was alright. The best part was Q’s “potato chip or two” line, which highlighted the absurdity of how convoluted the contracts were
Having a challenge where each turn was at a different location was an interesting idea, but ultimately didn’t have much impact.
Q’s punishment was kind of underwhelming. When it started with him getting prosthetics, I was expecting him to look radically different and for it to be crucial to the punishment, so I was disappointed when Q was fairly recognizable and it wasn’t necessary for what he had to do. Though the punishment itself was still fun due to the energy Harvey gave it. Plus it had a surprisingly light hearted ending.
17. Paula Abdul
Most of the episode was middling. I was disappointed because I was expecting Paula to have a great dynamic with the Jokers due to them making a movie together, yet she wound up blending in as a guest.
The high point of the episode was the “get my wallet challenge”. I loved the twist of having Cha throw Q out instead of Dan, and I especially loved Q sabotaging Sal by giving him his wallet before the mark could get it. It was oddly nostalgic, as it was the kind of thing Joe would do.
16. Kesha
I really don’t like that they repeated Sal’s shock punishment, the seance setting made it just barely different enough to justify doing again.
However, the “fall in love” challenge was pretty fun, and the debate challenge with MJF was great. I’d love for him to work with the Jokers again.
15. Michael Ian Black
I liked the return of the texting challenge, and Murr chasing the greased up boy was ridiculous (in a good way).
The punishment was fairly standard, but Michael did a great job acting as the straight-man and adding to Sal’s embarrassment.
14. Kim Fields
Murr’s “fuck marry kill” conversation, Q’s mistletoe, and Q eating the dog treats were all fun moments. The punishment felt pretty old school (in a good way) and while Q calling a woman’s bitch briefly dampened the fun, the mood was saved by Murr’s impression afterwards.
13. Post Malone
I liked seeing the etiquette challenge brought back and I especially loved seeing the guy do a 180 after recognizing Murr.
The punishment was clever and Post did a great job fanning the flames between the customers and Q. Though I think it was an odd choice to end it as a man was calling 911 without showing how the situation resolves.
12. Eric Andre
The challenges don’t have any moments that particularly stand out to me, but they were consistently entertaining in a way where it always feels worth my time to watch.
This is a rare time where I’d say the best moment from an episode came from a skit, as I love the idea of Murr being a fictional character.
The one change I’d make is that I wish they cut the opening skit and instead spoke to the audience directly, explicitly acknowledging that Joe left and they would be changing things up. I feel like that would’ve made for a better transition.
11. John Mayer
I don’t like that this episode only had one challenge before the punishment, but I do like that the celebrity guest was involved in both the challenge and the punishment, which I wish was the case more often.
The challenge itself was also fun enough to make up for being the only one. I loved Sal randomly arm wrestling the investors, the constant utterance of “Bro” and Murr’s mark insinuating he hired prostitutes.
10. ALF
The ticket challenge was solid and the phone call challenge was great, especially Sal’s McRib story.
Making a fictional character the celebrity guest was a somewhat risky choice, but I think it worked out. They did a good job integrating ALF into the punishment, and I loved the detail of him thinking Q enjoyed the food.
9. Anthony Davis
I like challenges where the Jokers have to convince the mark to lie, so I really enjoyed the “playing hookie” challenge.
I did not like the second challenge though. I found Steve Byrne’s antics more annoying than funny.
This is made up for by the punishment, which I consider one of the best punishments in recent history. Allowing Sal to opt out of tasks at a price was a clever way of adding stakes and making the punishment standout. The final task in particular was genius, and while it could have been over the line, Anthony avoided that by giving the kid his own shoes.
8. Method Man
The punishment was just uncomfortable and not very fun to watch, but the episode makes up for it with the challenges.
The scientists challenge was great, and the “don’t smirk” challenge was possibly the funniest segment in the whole post-Joe era. I personally think the “no smirking” rule was a bit excessive, and a rule against laughing would’ve been plenty, but the content of the challenge was hilarious, and that’s what matters.
7. Bruce Campbell
The Rosanna Scotto challenge was alright, with the most interesting part being when customers defended dumpster diving.
The waiter challenge was great. I loved Murr’s “who’s paying?” bit and Q constantly trying to improve the women’s ribs.
The punishment was great and felt like something we’d get in the older seasons. For the Bobby Moynihan episode, I mentioned that parts of Murr’s punishment seemed tacked on, and that’s not the case here. Each step of Q’s punishment felt like a natural extension, and Campbell did a great job as the overly demanding director.
6. Bret Michaels
The Grocery Roll was a great challenge to kick off the COVID restrictions being lifted. Murr and Sal each had spectacular Pratt falls.
The hide and seek challenge was a welcomed return. While I wouldn’t want it to become a staple of the show, I think it’s a great game to throw in once every couple of seasons to shake things up. Sal genuinely wondering if he can breathe in the fridge, repeatedly trying to close the door on himself, and hurting his arm on the third attempt was very stupid in the best way possible.
Murr’s punishment was a mixed bag. The armwrestling, bowls of soup, and Paul Rudd showing up out of nowhere were all hilarious, but whenever a mark is furious and has their face blurred, I go from enjoying the discomfort to just feeling bad for everyone involved.
5. Rob Riggle
The taste test challenge was great, with Q’s mark being one of the funniest of season in recent history.
The workout challenge was even better and really recaptured the magic they had in earlier seasons. Murr’s “wrong/good” workout and Sal’s refusal to accept help were particularly great.
The punishment was also solid. Murr having to stay still while mostly naked was simple and effective, and they were able to create a wacky enough environment around him that there’s more to keep things entertaining.
4. Chris Jericho
This is the first episode that made me realize IJ can make great episodes.
The Joint Gravy challenge was absolutely hilarious. Especially Sal’s turn.
The focus group challenge was also great. I’d be happy if they made Jiggy… not the fourth Joker… but the official stand-in whenever they have a challenge where they need to pair up.
The two skits were both really good. The opener was grounded and reserved, while the mid-show skit was ridiculous in the best way.
While I’ve said that IJ has gone a bit overboard with the physical torture punishments, I think this one was well done. It was creative to let Q alternate between various painful tasks as he wanted, and I loved how he was dependent on Sal’s mom to end the punishment. I really wish she started getting involved in the show earlier, because she’s hilarious.
3. Kal Penn
Having to sell a product after coming in through the window was hysterical, both in concept and execution. All three turns had a completely different feel to them. Murr was slimy and confident, Q was overly enthusiastic, and Sal was completely desperate.
The eating challenge was similar to the “Boot and Rally” challenge to me, in the sense that it’s not something I’d want to see again, but it was made funny due to the Jokers being self aware about it not being a good challenge. Murr’s frustration at Q and Sal saying they’d just take the thumbs down was 10X funnier than if they actually attempted the challenge.
The punishment itself was solid. It’s a simple but effective idea, and revealing that it was Sal’s breath that stunk was a great ending.
2. Blake Anderson
They brought back two challenges that had each only been done once before, which could be risky, but worked out great.
The “phony fees” challenge was a welcomed return. Johnna did a great job making the charges seem legitimate, and the woman constantly praising Q was amazing.
The Yearbook challenge was also really good. The gag about them all being married to Melissa reminded me of the organic humor we got back when Joe was on the show.
The punishment was my favorite of season 10. It has a juvenile charm where I know what Sal’s doing is really dumb, yet am root for him to get away with it.
1. Brooke Shields
Brooke gave the same energy as a guest that I was hoping to get from Paula Abdul.
The opening skit was great, largely because of how well Brooke sold the role of a fangirl.
This was the first time we saw the celebrity guest participate in a challenge, and it was very fun to watch. The girl trying to dab while in a suitcase was hilarious.
The “Brooke of Love” punishment was genius. We’ve seen challenges that convert to punishments before, but it was always done on the fly and/or kept secret from the joker being punished. Having everyone know that whoever loses will be punished immediately was a really unique approach and I hope they do something similar in the future.
I also love the idea of a dating show where the guys are all trying to be as unappealing as possible. Sal’s rap, the return of Stanley Merkle, and the hushed trash talking (trash whispering?) were all fantastic. I know the show (usually) doesn’t repeat punishments, but I’d love to see the challenge be done again, even if it’s without the instant punishment at the end. It could be in the context of a dating show again, or it could be something like a job interview.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Hopeful_Picture586 posting in AmItheAsshole and her user account
Concluded as per OOP
2 updates - Long
Original - 1st June 2022
Update1 - 2nd June 2022
Update2 - 16th October 2022
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AITA for refusing to go to my daughter graduation ceremony
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I (40sF) have a daughter (18F) who I’ll call Belle. When she was younger, her father (broke up before she was born) was very involved in her life and she was admittedly a “dad’s girl” but this all changed when she turned 8 and he got married. He barely called and just abandoned her for his new family. This was obviously hard on her and she rebelled a lot. But she went to therapy and seemed good. Belle has not seen him since she was 12 and he speaks to her maybe 3 times a year maximum. When he calls, she believes he is now back in her life for good then he ghosts her for the remainder of the year. This being said ,Belle and I have a great relationship, we do everything together. She even refers to me as her best friend so I’d say we have a good relationship.
Recently was her graduation and I was excited. But then she came to me a week before and told me she is going to invite her dad and his son. And cos her dad doesn’t want to see me, I can’t come. Belle told me that was the only way he was gonna go. I angrily told her, I felt betrayed and wont forgive her for this. She just told me I have been there for many of her milestones and she wants her father to experience some too. Things got heated and we argued.
The night before her graduation, I pleaded with her but she ignored me when I spoke. And only said “I’m sorry but I’m not changing my mind. I left and cried until my sister offered to take me out during the graduation to take my mind of it and I agreed.
I woke up the next morning to my daughter bawling her eyes out. I looked at the time and realised the ceremony starts in 5 minutes. I asked Belle why she hasn’t left yet. Belle then tells me her father ditched her and isn’t answering anymore. I hug her and tell her to make the most of her graduation. She looked shocked and asks if I’m not going to the ceremony now her father isn’t anymore .
And how it’ll be embarrassing to be the only one there without parents. I told I’m sorry that I already had plans. She then screamed and called me a bad mom. I apologise once again and got ready to meet my sister. I chose not to go because I felt betrayed and wanted to teach her actions have consequences, even if it broke me that i didn’t go. Since Belle returned she hasn’t spoken a word to me. And she looks depressed and like she’s been crying for ages. I’m starting to regret not going.
My sister says I did the right thing, but one of the moms at my daughter school said she was depressed at graduation and now I feel bad that I ruined what was suppose to be a day to remember because I wanted to teach my daughter a lesson. So aita?
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Comments
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Mad_Cowboy_64
NTA. You gave her an important lesson about maintaining relationships with the people who are there for you and not blowing them off for the next new thing that comes along.
Agitated_Cheek4890
I fully agree. Daughter treated her horrendously. Daughter might now go NC but she would be an AH to do so given how she's treated her mother. ETA: thank you for the award
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Awkward-Wasabi-9262
And OP stop apologizing. You didn't do anything wrong. The more you apologize, the more your daughter believes that her was right in her actions. At best you can say "look, I understand you're hurt and I'm sorry you're upset but this is a consequence of your actions."
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Update - 1 day later
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I don’t think I’m a bad mom for this one thing. And I accept the judgements and read everything. To answer your question: Belle does go therapy. This isn’t the first time Belle has ditched me for her dad, she been doing it for 10 years. This is the first time I have said no to her after he father abandoned her. I have asked her therapist, if Belle is being manipulated. and she said no based on Belle and her father’s messages, and my daughter is just grasping onto a reality that isn’t there
Update: I went to my daughter and apologised for not going to her graduation. I also explained that it is not a nice feeling to be left out and I feel under appreciated. Also, that is fine to want her father there for her, but I should too. Belle told me that she’s sorry things ended this way and that she loves me(hugged me)and wants things to go back to normal. And that she acted like a bitch. I told her nevertheless I should have been there and if I could do this all over again, I would’ve gone. ( honestly I said this as I thought she now knew her dad can’t be trusted- and I felt for her).
Then I asked her if she regret uninviting me in the first place and unsurprisingly she said no. This hurt me but I figured it was because I didn’t go so it was understandable. But no, she continued saying that it was probably best I didn’t go because she would’ve been more miserable as she would have preferred her dad to be there anyway. Then I got pissed( I didn’t show it). I told her my feeling were hurt, especially since I’ve been there for her.
And she said that she’s always going to want her dad there for her big moments. I asked, even at the expense of me and knowing he most likely won’t show. And she replied “ I mean if I have to make sacrifices, I’m going to, to have my dad there. I repeated the question as she seemed to be swerving it but she just shrugged and went on her phone. I told her not to expect everyone to apologise and turn a blind eye when she doesn’t value them in the real world. And i also said, knowing how she feels, don’t expect another apology from me and this is the last time I’m doing this. She looked tear eyes but I left.
I don’t know how other parents do this. I know her father is going to keep abandoning her and honestly I’m at my limit. And If I didn’t know whether I was wrong or not before, I definitely know I was right in not going. I know I’m going to get a lot of backlash saying this but I’m bitter and angry. I understand wanting her dad there but I should be on the same level of importance as him. I’m still going to be there for her when he inevitable ditches her again but if this behaviour carries on to her next graduation or wedding day. I can’t say I’ll be that apologetic to her. I should’ve just listened to NTA.
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Comments
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Alibeee64
Can I ask why her dad didn’t want you at the ceremony? It sounds like you don’t have an issue with him, but he obviously has one with you. Perhaps your daughter needs to work to understand this, as he seems very vindictive. If she doesn’t learn to set boundaries with him, what is going to happen when he makes similar demands at other important life events like college graduation, or her wedding? Is she going to expect you to keep letting her run over you emotionally in order to accommodate her dad’s crazy demands, especially when he keeps letting her down. And is she going to spend her life chasing after men who emotionally distance themselves from her because her relationship with her father has taught her to do this?

OOP: Honestly we broke up on good terms. I haven’t spoken to him in years though. And when I have seen their messages, it’s always small talk and nothing about me. So I don’t where this came from.

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Update - 4 months later
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I’m sure no one asked for this update but here goes.
I’m going to refer to Belle's father as Frank.
For the past few months I’ve done a lot of reflection. Although, I can’t say I regret not going to B’s graduation ceremony, I do wish I handled the situation more like an adult. Growing up, I was taught never to ask questions I don’t want the answer to and that is exactly what I did with my daughter. I shouldn’t have asked if she regretted uninviting me because truthfully I didn’t want to hear the answer. And for that, i think I acted childish.
To clear up some misconception: I don’t speak to Belle’s father simply because he refuses to be cooperative. Also, when I said Belle referred to me as her “best friend”. This doesn’t mean I treat her like my equal. I do parent her, she did get grounded and got her phone taken away when she misbehaved at school etc( which is rarely). I think she calls me that because she feels comfortable to talk to me about everything.
Now to the update: There was an incident after, where Belle wanted her dad’s help her move into her college apartment before term started but he refused because he “had work”. She begged for weeks. The whole 3 hour ride to her college was her crying hysterically. My sister consoled her but if I’m being honest I was pissed. Pissed at my daughter as she refuses to go therapy anymore, but seriously pissed at my ex.
It took me ages after graduation but I finally got in contact with F’s aunt. I explained the situation and that I need to get into contact with him as he’s either ignoring or not getting my messages. He ended up sending me a very long letter. In a small nutshell, it said that my daughter has been stalking and threatening him and his family and he’s been trying to have a healthy relationship with her but she keeps being aggressive so he had to distance himself.
He acknowledges he hasn’t been the best father but he tried for the past few years and Belle is too aggressive so he had to put the safety of his family first. As for the graduation, he wrote that he definitely refused to go. And only said it was probably for the best as I probably wouldn’t feel too comfortable with him there. He said not to contact him again and that we’ve done enough damage.
He added photocopies of messages between him and Belle, where she “says” deeply troubling things, like physical threats. Personally, I thought everything he said was BS and misconstrued. I spoke to Belle and told her of her father’s accusations. She broke down in tears hysterically and admitted that she hasn’t been the nicest to Frank’s wife and child (understandably) but she never threatened and stalked them. I was trying to calm her down. I told her I believe her and suggested therapy. Then she turned on me, blaming me for the breakdown between her and her father relationship.
She swore at me and broke stuff. She told me to stop trying to villainize her father, when I’m the problem. She called me a burden and cancer and said I should’ve stayed out of her business. I was called a bad mother and told I should burn in hell. To be clear, she was never violent towards me. She packed her stuff and left, presumably back to college. Me or my family haven’t heard from her since. I called and called but only got one message from a random number telling me to leave her alone. I told her I’m always here when’s she’s ready to talk.
It’s been 2+ months since I spoke to her. I’ll never admit this to anyone but honestly I feel relieved. My self esteem plummeted and I felt dead for the longest time because of this situation. I’m going therapy and feel the tiniest bit better. I finally went on a date yesterday for the first time in a decade, without getting guilted. In hindsight, mine and B’s relationship were no where near perfect. I don’t know what more I could’ve done but I wished I did more. She’s my child and she was a victim of an overall shit situation.
Sorry for the long update.
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Comments
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maybemaybo
I'm guessing with the graduation he likely said something like "and your mom probably wouldn't be comfortable seeing me.." in an attempt to let her down politely.
And that probably led her to go "well if I uninvite my mum, problem solved!" refusing to actually see the truth, that he won't come because it doesn't fit in with their fantasy.
I would honestly reach out to F's family member and say "pass on that he should use these threats to try and get a restraining order" because now she's cut you off, who knows how much more desperate she is to get to him.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP. Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

So, here is part 2 of my entitled employee story. We left off with discovering Sally’s retaliation of giving me trash as a Christmas gift after her latest write-up.
So, the next several weeks, I am noticing more problems, but here’s some of the highlights.

1. Ever since we had issues of the office’s checks going randomly missing, Sally had apparently decided to just stop throwing any envelope away when opening the mail. She would supposedly search the envelopes/paperwork & then keep the envelopes with the paperwork. So, instead of doing her job better, she would decide to just stop doing the job at all. After all, you can’t get in trouble for screwing it up if you aren’t doing it, right? However, this resulted in items getting left with the paperwork (which sometimes wouldn’t get touched for several weeks due to being busy) that had needed to be collected or addressed right away.
   
2. Sally’s careless mistakes continued at about the same rate (average of 2 to 3 a week). She would put deposit slips/emails with the wrong office’s report, put one office’s mail in another office’s bin, put one office’s funding papers in another office’s bin, put one office’s bills in the folder for their correspondence & vice versa, put one office’s bills in the folder for another office’s bills, put the new month’s bills in the folder without taking out the old month’s bills so they would get mixed up. I could go on & on.
   
3. Sally would still ask for help on things she shouldn’t need help on anymore, ‘cause I had helped her many times on items exactly like it in the 2 years she’s worked here. I mean, the whole point of asking for help when learning new things on a job is so you can take the input you’re given & use it to get better at the job so you don’t have to ask for help anymore. I mean, what kind of office works by their employees constantly needing to be walked through everything every day? Sally would even ask for help on things no one would need to ask for help on. For example, she asked me, “An office took a deposit to the bank without showing it on their report. How do I write that up in the letter to fax to them?” Um, exactly what you just said to me. Or another time, she asks how long she should wait before calling an office back. Well, how long do you think you should give them? Just use your good judgment. You don’t need help with that! Again, you’ve been here 2 years!
   

On Jan 26, I take the Dec bills, correspondence faxes, & timesheets out of their folders to scan them into the computer. Now, one thing the bills should always have on them are the check number used to pay for this purchase & the date it was paid. The offices themselves are supposed to write this on there, but they don’t always, which is why it is our job to write it on there if it’s missing. I had noticed when I scanned Nov’s bills around Nov 30 that a lot of Sally’s offices don’t have that info written on them. So, I explained to her what needed to be written on every bill/receipt. I now flip through the Dec & Jan bills of her offices really quick to check them. There are quite a few of them with no info written down on them. There’s strike one for noncompliance.
Another task we would do several days a week (that’s Sally’s responsibility) is to check the bank accounts online. She is to look at the bank balances & report any low balances to Greg (or me if Greg isn’t there). She is then to look at the transactions in order to see if anything looks fraudulent. Since we are a loan company, check fraud is very common for us. So, we look at the checks for anything funny-looking, & we look to see if there are any auto debits (like when you use your bank account online to pay for a bill) that would tell us if someone got hold of our bank account info.
On Jan 30, at 1:15 p.m., I asked if any of the bank balances were low (Greg was out of town for a few days). Sally said she had forgotten to check the bank accounts that morning. Weird, ‘cause you had to check the Dallas office to make sure the money we sent them had shown up. How did you get the login sheet out to look in their bank account but then forget about checking all the bank accounts? This just further cemented in my mind that she was NOT checking these bank accounts the way she should. I was 100% positive that all she does when logging into these bank accounts is checking the balances to give to Greg but then never checks the transactions. I know this ‘cause, 1) I’ve observed Sally only logging in to write down the balances & then logging back out (she had some flimsy excuse ready when I asked her about it), 2) there have been auto debits that appeared in bank accounts that we didn’t find for weeks until I happened to see it for some reason & guess what? She never pointed those out to us, & 3) Sally hadn’t bothered to check the bank account balances since Greg was out of town, so clearly she only felt the need to check the balances. There’s strike two for noncompliance.
& even more bad mistakes or decisions:

1. At the end of Jan, we discovered that Sally had mailed the employees’ W2s to the managers’ home addresses instead of to the offices to distribute to their employees!
   
2. We had an office that moved locations to right across the street, so the only thing that changed in their address was their street number (12 Main Street instead of 11 Main Street). I explained this to Sally & gave her an updated list of the office’s addresses. 3 weeks later, we get a call from that office saying that mail we send to them keeps going to their landlord’s house. I check the address labels Sally had created for herself. Sure enough, it had the wrong address on them. I go to grab the lease, & at the top is where the tenant’s new address is listed. & all the way at the bottom of the page in the paragraph titled “RENT” where it lists where to send the rent is the landlord’s home address. & that’s the address Sally had chosen to be the new office’s address on her address labels.
   
3. Sally hadn’t been faxing the offices to ask for bills/receipts that never made it to us.
   
4. I used the last towel on a roll of paper towels, so I went to the cabinets to grab another. We were out. Sally is in charge of keeping track of supplies that need ordering, so I go to Sally & say we’re completely out of paper towels, we need to order some. Sally response: “No one ever tells me when they grab the last roll so I know when to order them.” Um, excuse me, since when is it our job to tell you to do your job? It’s your responsibility to keep track of supplies. You should be checking the level of paper towels, toilet paper, Kleenex, etc., to see when you need to order them.
   

So, I knew she needed a second warning write up for carelessness cause of the numerous mistakes since the first warning write up in the middle of Dec, & I would be giving Sally a first warning write up for negligence cause of her not asking the offices for missing bills & not writing the info on the bills I had told her to do at the end of Nov. However, it was only a few days from Feb, which was the time for performance reviews. So, rather than doing a write up now & then in a week or so doing a performance review that was one of the worst performance reviews I’ve ever heard of, I decided to just do it in one fell swoop. You know, just get it all out of the way with one bad conversation, one bad day, & then both of us can hopefully put it behind us & move on.
I decided to do the performance review & write ups on Feb 5 (Monday). It went much smoother ‘cause Greg was there, so Sally couldn’t really give me lip or lash out by showing attitude & anger like she had previously.
On Feb 7 (Wednesday), I log in to get the transactions for an office who is switching banks. I wanted to get an updated list of outstanding checks so they know how many checks are left before they can close the old bank account. & what do I see? Someone had used the bank account to pay $100 on their AT&T bill. I call the office & find out it was actually them, so no fraud there. But I then ask Sally if she had seen that when checking the bank accounts. She said she didn’t remember. Obviously, I have found my proof that she is either not checking them or isn’t paying attention when she does. I have a discussion with Greg about it, & we decide I need to have a sit down with her about her not doing her job. She is sick on Thursday, so I plan to talk with her the next day she comes in.
On Feb 9 (Friday), I begin the conversation about checking the bank accounts & how important it is. I am planning to say things like, we expect you to do this job, you’ve been told multiple times to do this task, if you’re not going to do the job, then you’re welcome to go find another one, etc. But she cuts me off at the beginning with an excuse of, “Well, I didn’t know what I should be looking for, now I know.” & it broke me. She does this exact thing every time I have to have a conversation with her. She has an excuse ready to go on the tip of her tongue, always spins it around so it’s not actually her fault. It’s always, “Well, I didn’t know that, but now, I do.” & I was just done. I didn’t continue the conversation, even though I needed to, ‘cause I just broke down in tears from the stress of having to discipline her & knowing that nothing will ever come of it, but having our hands legally tied to be able to fire her right now. I cried nonstop for over 4 hours.
On Feb 12 (Monday), I sat down to continue the conversation, this time with a written statement for her to sign.
Me: You respond a lot of the time that you don’t know how to do things, which is very frustrating, ‘cause you’ve been shown multiple times how to do these tasks. It’s very inefficient & wasteful that I have to constantly check all of your work & retrain you on the same thing over & over again. This needs to change. This job is about accuracy & accountability.
Sally: You’re not giving me a chance to improve. I never hear “Good job,” from you. All I ever hear is, “You’re doing a bad job, sign this paper.” I get in trouble every time I ask for help, so I guess I’ll just follow the instructions & hope I’m doing it right.
The problems with that response:

1. You’ve worked here for 2 years, Sally. You’ve had plenty of time to improve.
   
2. The reason you never hear “Good job” is ‘cause you’re not doing a good job. How am I supposed to tell you “Good job,” but also need to give you a write up for doing a bad job? If you’re getting multiple write ups for doing a bad job, don’t you think that’s a sign that something is wrong? I mean, she thinks that managers should be telling their employees good job on everything they do right. No, you’re expected to do these tasks. We’re not going to congratulate you every time you do your basic job requirements like some toddler that needs constant positive reinforcement so they know that doing something right is a good thing! You will hear “Good job” when you are doing a really good job on something, when you go above & beyond!! I mean, do you think Greg tells me “Good job” when I’m just doing my job as expected?!! NO!!! I’ve never had a manager constantly tell me “Good job” all the time!!!! (Whew. Sorry about that. Kinda went on a crazy rant there. I’m good now.)
   
3. Here’s another example of her mentality of “if I don’t do the job, I can’t get in trouble for doing it wrong.” She’s going to stop asking for help instead of using the help I’ve given her to do better. I mean, if you’re making these mistakes when you ARE asking for help, how many more are you going to make when you stop asking for help? How does this make any logical sense?!
   

Well, here’s another chance for some malicious compliance. She claimed she didn’t know how to check the bank accounts, right? Well, my job as the manager is to make sure my employees know how to do their job. So, I need to sit down with her & train her how to check the bank accounts. Again. Even though I know she already knows how to do it. So, every time you tell me that the reason why you didn’t do a job is ‘cause you didn’t know how to do it right, well, we’re going to sit down & waste both our times & annoy you having to be retrained on something you do, in fact, know how to do.
Sally continues making careless mistakes & not doing stuff she doesn’t think she should have to do. Like answering the phones. It’s her job to answer the phones; that’s something I as the manager should be delegating to her. However, she never answers the phone unless I literally can’t. So, I had asked her to start answering the phone more. She will wait until the last possible second before answering the phone. By that time, it’s already rung twice, so I have to answer it before it goes on any longer or they hang up. One time, we were both away from our desks when the phone rang. We both went to answer it, but she was closer & got to her desk before me, put her hand on the phone, & watched me until I got to my desk before she picked it up. With a comment of, “Oh, (laughs) I didn’t want to make you walk all the way to your desk.” Well, you did, anyway, you little jerk.
On Feb 27, Sally asks for help on a report. She says that my note stating the office is over-deposited $28 on report 1 but fixed on report 2 by being $28 under-deposited didn’t work out. She says that they were never over by $28 in the first place. I take the report to look it over. Her calculator tape adding up the deposits shows the bank is in balance, but I don’t see deposit slips.
Me: Where are the deposit slips?
Sally: I haven’t gotten them yet.
Me: (trying to comprehend her logic) Then how do you have the deposit amounts added on this tape?
Sally: I got the amounts from the report.
Me: You…(my brain trying not to implode at this point) you can’t add up amounts to see if the bank has too much or too little money in it without knowing what was actually taken to the bank. The amounts on the report don’t always equal what was taken to the bank.
I log into the bank account & discover just that: the report says they took $500 to the bank, but their deposit says $528. They were indeed $28 over-deposited. I then lecture her (for the second time in a few months) on the correct way to account for the deposits at the bank, that we are only to use the dollar amounts on the bank’s deposit receipt. (The first time was her getting the deposit amount from what was written on the deposit slip instead of what the bank gave us credit for on their printed receipt. The bank had shorted us $500, & we never knew until her deposits didn’t work out when reconciling the bank statement at the end of the month. We were missing $500 for 4 weeks! It’s a miracle we didn’t overdraw the account.)
Another task that we do several days a week is checking the CFPB website. This is a government website that uses federal regulations to monitor financial institutions. It’s like the Better Business Bureau, but more official. Customers can make complaints through them, prompting an investigation to make sure we’re following the federal guidelines. We have 2 weeks to respond to a complaint before it is past due.
On Feb 29, Greg just happens to be looking at an email inbox that he never checks, ‘cause after all, we’re checking the CFPB website, so he doesn’t have to look there, right? There is a complaint in 2 of the portals that have been in there since Jan 22. He immediately marches out & tells Sally about them.
Greg: Aren’t you checking the CFPB sites?
Sally: Yeah, I am.
Really? Then how come you didn’t print this complaint off to give to Greg in the last 6 weeks? She came back from lunch to a second warning write up given by me for negligence.
On Mar 5 (Tuesday), we are working on reconciling the bank statements so we can close the month of Feb. Sally brings me a Jan bank statement for an office.
Sally: This never cleared in Feb.
I look at the bank statement. It’s an electronic deposit of $254 on Jan 31. I remember this. She had asked me at the beginning of Feb why this deposit wasn’t recorded on the office’s report. I explained that since it didn’t show up in the bank account until the last day of Jan, they might not have known about it before the end of the month & so recorded it on the first of Feb. We will wait until the first report of Feb. If it’s still not recorded, then we’ll bring that to the office’s attention. & here she is, clearly telling me she hadn’t brought it to anyone’s attention all month long.
Me: (staring at the bank statement as I try to prevent my autistic brain from exploding at her while also trying to prevent a spontaneous stroke) You didn’t keep track of this all month?
Sally: Well, I didn’t know if it was treated differently ‘cause it was OTBP (One Time Bill Pay, which is the electronic deposit). (Oh, what a shocker, she once again didn’t know how to do something.)
Me: But we talked about this. If it wasn’t on the first of the month, we needed to address it.
Sally: Okay, well, now I know that we treat this the same as other deposits. (goes nonchalantly back to her desk like it was no big deal, like she hadn’t just revealed she had once again disobeyed my detailed instructions)
Me: (seeing her flagrant disregard for the seriousness of the situation & wondering just how on earth she could once again think that not doing her job would have no consequences) This is exactly what Greg talks about over & over, about how we can’t leave errors like this to sit for weeks & weeks, that these need to be dealt with as they happen.
Sally: (still as easy-going as if she had simply used the wrong color highlighter) Okay, I’ll make note of that.
Now, I am getting really pissed off. She keeps saying, “Oh, now I know that OTBP is treated the same as everything else.” That doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter that you didn’t know it’s treated the same! I specifically told you to take care of it if it didn’t appear on the first of Feb! It didn’t matter what kind of deposit it was! I said to tell me if it wasn’t on the first of Feb!
Now, this was right before she leaves at 3:30, so by the time I’m finished with my text conversation with Greg (‘cause he isn’t there that afternoon), she has already left. But I’m telling Greg that I have once again caught her being negligent, & she’s already had 2 written warnings about this, which means our next step is letting her go. Not to mention, her carelessness is still continuing. He said that he supports my decision to let her go. By the way, the final decision happened an hour after she left. If I had known before she left that we were indeed going to fire her, I would have done it before she left so she didn’t have to come all the way to work in the morning just to leave again.
So, on Mar 6 (Wednesday), I arrive early to work so I can be prepared. I am standing at my desk, watching her come in. This is unusual, so she frowns as she approaches me.
Me: Sally, we need to talk.
Sally: (still frowns at me)
Me: (handing her the typed up notice) We are going to read this together. “When reconciling the month of Jan, around Feb 5, it was brought to my attention that we had a deposit that hadn’t been reconciled. I gave you instructions to wait a report to see if it works out. If not, you would need to bring it to mine & the office’s attention for further instructions. This wasn’t done. It wasn’t until Mar 5 that you brought this to my attention again. You have been told many times the importance of reconciling the financials of the office. You have been warned several times of negligence. This is another example of negligence with respect to your job. All you had to do was follow my instructions. It is for this reason that it is now time to terminate your employment.”
Sally: When did you tell me to do this?
Me: (thinking, “Um, I kinda just told you when I told you do that, but, okay.”) When you showed me the Jan bank statement—
Sally: Yesterday?!
Me: You showed me the Jan bank statement a month ago when you were reconciling Jan. I told you to wait for the first of Feb & then—
Sally: You did no such thing!
Me: Yes, I did, Sally.
Sally: When does Greg get here?
Me: Around 9, like usual.
Sally: I’m calling him, ‘cause this is ridiculous. You’ve had it out for me from the very beginning.
Me: No, I haven’t.
Sally: Yeah, you have. Just like the other 2. (sets her bags at the front door, goes outside, & calls Greg)

1. How could I have had it out for you from the very beginning when we didn’t have problems for the first year & a half you worked here? If I’d had it out for you from the beginning, you wouldn’t have had a job the past 6 months. Need I remind you what Greg told you about the timesheet thing being something we fire someone for on the spot, but that Molly had gone to bat for you & gave you a second chance? Why would I have done that if I had wanted you gone from the start?
   
2. “Just like the other 2.” She’s talking about Irene (who had left in Feb 2023) & another employee (who we’ll call Phil). Phil had been fired (by Greg, by the way) for continuing to watch movies on his phone at his desk despite being told multiple times by Greg to not do that. & Irene? She wasn’t fired. She gave her 2 weeks’ notice. & we then discovered when going through the work she’s been doing as we started taking over her tasks that she didn’t just not do jobs. She would actually forge the work so she wouldn’t have to work. “A bank imbalance of $2.65? Well, I’ll just add it to the imbalance that’s been building up for who knows how many months & just label it as an over-deposit from the end of the month. That way, I don’t have to look into why the bank isn’t balancing.” But no, I had it out for them, apparently.
   
3. Does she really think that calling Greg was gonna reverse my firing her? Does she really think I would do something as drastic as writing her up or firing her without discussing it with my supervisor first? Did she really think I would do this behind his back?
   

Apparently, she did, ‘cause Greg confirmed that Sally tried telling him about all the stuff I’ve been doing to her as if he didn’t know. She hung up on him when he explained that he’s been told everything as it happens & he supports this decision.
Sally: (storming back into the office & towards her desk) I’m not signing anything.
Me: Ok.
Sally begins packing up her desk. I had known she kept a lot of personal items at the office, so I had gotten a big box or 2 out & placed them nearby for her to use to pack up her desk.
Me: We can give you a box if you need it.
Sally: I don’t need sh** from you guys.
Me: The only thing we’ll need is your office key.
Sally: You’ll get it when you get it. I’m packing my desk.
Me: Ok.
I go back to work, keeping an eye on her as she packs to make sure she doesn’t take anything she’s not supposed to or damage any company property. Sally at some point decides to use the boxes she didn’t want from us to pack up her many items. She takes both boxes to the front door where her bags are & sets them down to put the last of her things in. She picks up one box to take outside.
Sally: You are the worst manager ever. (goes out the door)
Me: (shrug)
Sally: (comes back in for the final box) Seriously, you’re the most evil person I’ve ever met. (leaves)
Really? I rank worse than the guy that beat you up? I’m worse than him?
I continued watching her to see if she’s going to come back to give up her office key. As she packed up her car, another employee had arrived (we’ll call him Randy). He had run into her on the way in & asks me if Sally quit. I explained, no, she was let go. I then see that Sally has gotten behind the wheel of her car without coming back to give us the office key.
Me: Well, I guess we’ll just change the locks.
Randy then takes it upon himself to go out to her car. He phrased it very gently by saying he wanted to spare her having to come back in to turn the key in.
Sally: I guess Molly didn’t have the balls to do it herself. (hands the key over)
& then…she was gone. Despite having to do the entire corporate office’s work all by myself & falling steadily behind little by little, I have never been more happy. I had forgotten how much I loved my job & how much I couldn’t wait to get to work. I haven’t been this stress-free in 6 months, & it feels fantastic! & the great part is, I’m not really falling as far behind as I expected to without her. Having to do 2 people’s jobs by myself is only affecting me a little. Really goes to show you how bad she was for the company & for my job when she disrupted everything that much. For example, me & her would get through maybe 5 to 6 offices’ reports between us in a single day when playing catch up after closing the previous month. One day? I caught up on 10 offices’ reports in a single day. By myself.
Oh, did I mention she smoked marijuana most days on her way to work or while on her lunch break? We could never actually prove it. But, come on, you don’t smell that strongly of marijuana on only select days if you aren’t smoking it recently. If it was leftover from the smell of your house or car, you would smell like that every day. But it was only some days she would come into work or back from lunch smelling like that. Obviously, smoking on the job. So very glad to be rid of her & her awful skunk smell. Although, I do wish her well on a new job search. I don’t wish ill on anyone, ever. But I am just glad she’s no longer my problem to deal with.
(Added 2 months after she was fired): By the way, I am actually gaining on my work. I’m not only not behind on my work, I’m actually getting it done soon enough to work on extra stuff. Also, out of the blue, we’ve started getting about 3 to 4 sales & scam calls every day since Sally left (for things like better Medicare benefits, better retirement benefits, & even one time recently where “Walgreens” was calling to ask if I still had diabetes). I’m convinced Sally signed us up for calls as retaliation. I hope they die down soon, especially as they are starting to get rude. (Our response to every one of these is “Sorry, this is a business.” This one guy responded to me with, “This is my job.” I said, “I understand this is your job, but this is a business. I am not allowed to take personal calls.” He said, “Why?” I said very slowly & firmly, “Because I’m working!” He started to say, “Can you explain to me why—” I hung up. Jerk.)

First of all congrats to all 2024 graduates.
This is a long one so yea. My dad has always been a pretty much absent father. Especially financially, with my mom buying us everything we’ve needed , we being my sister and I. I have vivid memories of my dad calling and saying he’s come pick us up for us to spend time with him, only for him to arrive at 10 PM to give us a $10 bill and kiss good bye. we saw him occasionally. We’ve maybe been with a total of 10-20 times throughout the entirety our lives. But as we got older we realized that we weren’t a priority of his.
Right around when COVID hit though my dad began to come around a lot more. But not in the way u may be thinking. See my dad got into hard drugs, with his then gf. Lost my baby brother to CPS, and was basically homeless. So he invited himself to our home, sleeping in my moms car at night and sometimes my mom being the god send that she is was nice enough to let him come in and eat when it got colder out. This was the worst time of my life concerning my father . I saw him in a completely different light and thought very little of him. It just completely stunned me that the only way my dad would come to see his kids is if he had nowhere else to go. He , as most drug addicts was in and out of jail, until one time when he had to stay for a few months longer , and then spent a few months in a halfway house. All throughout this and before my mom never really spoke ill of my father , unless she was arguing with him about some bull shit he was doing while being a druggy and hanging around our house, like doing drugs in our basement. But she always encouraged or even forced us to communicate with him, and try to forgive/ build a relationship with him. Aswell as countless times of my mom helping this man. Giving him money, rides, clothes, and wtv else he asked for.
Well after my dad went to jail that last time and was in the halfway house, he came out a new man. He kicked his drug habit, got his CDL license and was doing great. My sister and I were very proud of him and wanted to give him another chance. We spent 4th of July with him, and hung out with him a couple more times just driving around in his car. And just in general we’re a little closer and more communicative.
Fast forward to the 2 main incidents that led to him not being invited to my graduation . So as I was heading over to a friends house one day my car cut out. My mom was at work with a client (she’s a hairdresser) so I naively thought I could call my dad. He showed up took a look under my hood and realized that id need to get it towed. So I took the initiative to start calling tow companies and try to find the cheapest one. I luckily manage to find a guy that would do it for only $65 . Which if you’re an adult you know how much of an insanely good deal that is. Whilst I’m calling tow companies my dad has spent this time complaining about my moms choice in cars , and basically blaming her for my car cutting out. And also trying to call his sister so he could borrow a tool she had to just hitch my car to her truck and tow it himself. He can’t get ahold of her so I bring up the $65 tow guy. This man starts complaining saying he can do it for free and just wait for his sister to pick it up. Anothe 30 minutes go by and nothing. So i call my mom, and ask her can she cashapp me. Of course she says yes. So I call the tow man myself to get my car towed. The entire time this man is complaining about paying $65 fucking dollars, complaining about my mom buying the car , and complaining saying I hope she doesn’t expect me to pay for this. Mind you he has a CDL license, so he’s making good money and can more then afford to pay it . He paid $30,000 for his car cash and was able to save this money up for it in only a few months, so u do that math for how much he makes. At first I was ignoring him letting him talk shit. But he just kept going on and on and on, and I finally snapped and told him to stop talking about my mom and began defending her. We got into a heated argument that ended with him saying don’t ask him for anything, and me assuring him that I won’t. I had started crying because of how frustrated I was at the situation . I was asking something so little of him and this is how he acted? And he made fun of that saying “I’m not going to cry about it either” this was the last straw and I vowed to never reach out to him again.
I kept that vow despite my moms continuous efforts to get me to talk to him/ unblock him/ forgive him , but I was done. My 18th birthday roles around a few months later. And I decided to be nice and invite him, my thought process was I’m going to college soon , and won’t see him for probably the 4 yrs that id be gone away to school. So why not just try. I didn’t ask this man for anything and just told him where the place of my party was. The time comes and my mom and I are a little late to my party about 10-15 minutes late to getting to the place. He begins texting me asking where we are , and I say we’re a few minutes late, but otw and just resend the address . He starts making excuses saying oh he has work he has to go and wtv else. I say ok that’s fine . He says oh I have a gift I wanted to give you. I say oh you could bring it later when ur off or we could meet somewhere for me to get it tmrw. The next day roles around and I ask him if he worked today and when I could meet him to get the gift. Then he starts talking bs saying, oh I already gave it to ur mom, with the child support card. I’m thinkin oh maybe he can put more money on it and did that for me , for my bday. But no he was referring to the money he is mandated to pay by the state , which he just began paying for the last year or he so he’d been driving trucks. So once I realized this I decided to tell him how bad of a father he was, and yes I did disrespect him and curse him out and I didn’t care. This was really the final straw and I wanted to give him a piece of my mind. And that I did. This is where he really fucked up though. He texted my mom saying to give me the childsupprt card for my bday. My mom uses the $400/ month he pays for our utilities and has them on autopay. And idrc what anyone thinks about that I think it’s a very appropriate use of it. Especially since she pays for wtv else we need and want with no complaints . So she tells him it’s sad that has nothing to give his daughter on her 18th birthday and not to text her phone with the bs telling her what to do with the money. Ig this upsets him because he brings up something’s of my moms past , during a time that was really hard for her. And that was it for my mom. She cut him off too, and though she has not hate for him, she says she’s done allowing people in her life that do nothing but take advantage of and disrespect her. I was relieved to finally have my mother stop pressuring me to spend time with my father, and happy to be done with the stress and pain that he usually causes when he’s around.
Fast forward to now , my Graduation was last week. I only had 8 tickets . And I had already decided to give tickets to my grandma , her 5 kids (my mom , aunts , and uncles) my sister and my favorite cousin. A few days before the graduation whilst at school, a teacher pulls me aside and asks me did Ik my dad tried to come up to my school to get a graduation ticket . I laughed this off. The day of my graduation comes and I find out he was at the place of the graduation trying to find me. I was relieved that we didn’t bump into one another because I truthfully don’t want to see him. But later I felt a little bad when thinking about how he tried to come to the school then still came to the graduation despite not being let in obviously for the lack of a ticket. I don’t know why but my mom is in the same boat feeling guilty that he wasn’t let in on such a big moment. And has began some of her old antics of saying oh can he come to ur graduation party (not the ceremony but a family celebration) my guilt however doesn’t extend this far, and I just can’t give this man yet another opportunity to disappoint me. So what do you think Reddit , am I the asshole?

I will try to be brief, but it’s a long story. Me (31F) and SO (36) have been together for almost 12 years. We moved to another country 6 years ago. I thought I had a good relationship with my MIL although I’ve seen her crazy behavior towards others several times - She drinks every weekend to the point she starts being violent and starts a drama. She provokes people and plays the victim later. What confused me very much was that she was an awesome person when she was not drunk - so I only thought she had a tough life and depression issues (very silly of me). But in reality, I should’ve seen she doesn’t talk to any family members and she said they are all wrong and ungrateful and“treated her so bad after everything she’s done for them” - of course, she does not mention what she did to provoke them.
Fast forward to last year, she came to stay with us for 4 months. 10 days after she arrived she decided to drink on the weekend - I had gone Christmas shopping with my sister and niece and we spent the entire day out. My MIL started sending me weird messages and my husband told me later she was implying I wasn’t with my sister. This cause I huge fight and I told her to respect me at my house. At this point I started seeing who she really was. I could hear he talking shit about me with his siblings. 2-3 fights happened during this period and I felt my husband was not backing me up. I was trying to ignore all of this because I knew he missed his family so much and mine also live here so I tried to do it for him. But it was an absolute nightmare and I held lots of resentment towards him. One day she left her phone with me and - I know I was wrong - but I saw SO MUCH SHIT about me and my family in a conversation with my BIL. I also cause a huge fight and I couldn’t hate all of them more.
She ended up living early after I told her if I heard her talking shit about me she’d go to a hotel.
Once she returns, a friend told us she would spent the entire day bad mouthing me to his mom (who was also visiting) saying she was sure I was cheating on my husband with one friend of ours. My husband finally reacted and said a lot to his mom. She attacked the woman later with nasty messages and ended up blocked.
It’s been a year I’m NC with her and his brother (the other one I don’t like as well but he’s not blocked) . SO stills talks to her weekly.
I am now 12w pregnant and I hear their conversation - she always asks about the baby, never about me like I’m an incubator lol. She even said the baby looked like him (from a 12w ultrasound) 🤷‍♀️ Today I heard she asked how far along am I and when is the due date. She’s obsessed with her only grandchild (BIL’s son 9yo) and even said she wanted to take him from his mom because she’d take better care of him. My SIL NEVER leaves him alone with her, thankfully.
Anyway, I’m freaking out that she will offer to come and help and I absolutely DONT want this woman here at all. I don’t know how my husband would react if she starts insisting on coming here, he said I don’t need to worry but it’s very defensive about FMIL. I am aware I have a SO problem because she can’t manipulate him easily with her dramas. I swear I’d leave this house if she comes here. I want my mom to be here. I am freaking about this bc I remember how jealous she was of my SIL’s mom when my nephew was born. She wanted to be the first, the most important and etc. She’s also very jealous of my mom and our relationship.
If I have a girl she will be absolutely crazy because it was her dream and she had only 3 boys. I’m not sure if I’m overthinking this, but I feel she’ll ask to come here. When she left (even after all fights) she said something like “if you guys have a kid I’ll come to help. Actually, not sure if you will want bc you have your mum huh?” Which I replied “yes, I have my mom here and it’s all good”. She also cried when my husband told her I was pregnant saying she loved me and was devastated because she would never get to know her grandchild. She’s just a fucking narcissistic I dislike so much.
How can I prepare for this situation?

Mikan has a habit of pondering many things while waiting for her mother to use the restroom. It is not aimless daydreaming, but rather akin to how some people would keep different books by their bedside, toilet, and office. Mikan always use this time to think about light but continuous things. Typically, she'd spend three to five minutes, with the first minute warming up, recalling where she left off in the book from the last time, then staring at her nails, progressing her thoughts bit by bit.
She developed this habit during her first visit to the zoo. That spring, she graduated from kindergarten, and before leaving the house, her mother was in front of the mirror, adjusting Mikan’s elementary school uniform. The zoo was on a seaside cliff, connected to the foot of the mountain by a narrow path lined with cherry blossoms. Children of all ages sat on the steps, waiting for a gust of wind to blow so they could shout for their mothers to take pictures. Mikan buried her head and walked up, thinking the others were childish. At that time, her father was still young; his neck had not yet thickened, and his eyelids had not drooped. When they left, she asked her mother who the strange uncle was, the one who knew so much about giraffes. She couldn’t remember how her mother answered, but she remembered seeing a kitten lying on the hillside, showing its belly to the sunset, making her exclaim "wow" to the cherry blossoms. From that day on, one weekend a month, she would go to the zoo with her mother to meet her father. During the time her mother was in the restroom, Mikan used it to think about the kitten. She had imagined raising three kittens: the first was tortoiseshell, then an orange one like her surname, and the latest was another tortoiseshell. Each cat lived for twelve years, and she thought about the world and herself thirty-six years later.
She didn’t always think about cats. Occasionally, when she didn’t go with her mother, she would talk with her classmates about how they envied the animals in the zoo, like gorillas and hyenas. Although there were no lions or tigers, there were lynxes. They looked so ugly, walking on all fours all their lives, but they were lucky to live by the sea and enjoy the sea breeze for a lifetime. The crude boys in her class would retort, saying, "Yeah, yeah, they can even poop directly into the sea."
After graduation, she never saw that boy again. All the boys would go to Tokyo when they were young; that was the rule. Only when they were old and decrepit would they be reluctantly sent back by the younger ones. But she often thought about that classmate. By the time she raised her third cat, he might have come back. When she saw the sea again, the image of a smooth butt hanging over the cliff came to mind. When she got into Waseda University, she told her mother that she might consider marrying that classmate.
When Mikan was little, she secretly asked her father how he fell in love with her mother. The primate area always had a strange smell, between animal and human. Her mother didn’t like the smell, standing five meters away near the door for ventilation (they couldn’t go further in because they were not allowed to meet outside the guardian’s sight; that was the rule). She didn’t remember what her father said, but she remembered pressing her hand against the glass, with an orangutan looking at her disdainfully. She felt like she was the one being watched. But her father must have said something, without hesitation, as if talking about a daily matter. It was too mundane, overshadowed by the contemptuous orangutan in her memory.
Influenced by her mother, Mikan also didn’t like the smell of the primate area. It wasn’t that it was unpleasant; it was like touching the residual warmth of someone who just left their seat, the mixed smell of decaying wood and butter in old temples, awkward and cautious. The only chance she almost had to be alone with that classmate was during a field trip. Both happened to be lingering at the entrance of the primate area. Mikan was there first, then the boy appeared behind her, peeking around. The introduction at the entrance had been scanned five or six times. Inside, the darkness reminded Mikan of the anteater’s mouth she had just seen. The boy asked, “Are you afraid to go in?” Mikan replied, “Of course not.” The boy retorted, “Coward, the teacher said not to wander off; you definitely won’t dare.” Mikan suddenly felt annoyed and walked in. When she reached the orangutan’s window and looked back, the boy had already disappeared. Mikan thought, childish.
One summer, a cat sneaked into the zoo and was brutally tortured by baboons before being killed. Mikan learned about it from the morning paper, crumbs scattered on it. The front page was about US-Japan trade friction, followed by news about Tokyo, Syria, obituaries, nuclear, and the next Olympics’ sailing event being held on the local beach. The news was arranged from far to near, and finally, in the middle column, she saw this news.
"Such a pity, so sad, so heartbreaking, so infuriating." She inhaled deeply and exhaled.
She didn’t know what this incident meant for the townspeople. Didn’t the middle column mean it was unimportant? She didn’t understand, but the townspeople seemed outraged, eventually passing a resolution to lower the male zoo supervision age to fourteen. The next day, this proposal moved to the front page, although not the headline, it stood alongside news from the US and Europe.
But this wasn’t a distant matter for her. Recently, she had joined the baseball team because that boy also loved baseball. At a celebration party, when discussing future high schools, he talked eagerly about a famous school in Tokyo, jokingly preparing for life there. Everyone laughed at this joke.
The front-page news explained the lawmakers' logic: due to men’s violence and animalistic nature, our country decided to confine men in zoos years ago, something we have always been proud of. Over the years, many outstanding women have joined the country to restrain their husbands' potential harm to the world. But our solution isn’t perfect. When does a child become a man? The radicals believe it’s at adulthood, at twenty, the legal marriage age. Conservatives argue that maleness is in the chromosomes and should be separated at the hospital. The incident with the baboons harming the cat further proves the harm of violence and animality to civilization. We should be more cautious and responsible. Thus, in our town, the second sex characteristic is used as the basis for identifying males.
This event was written into textbooks, leading to significant zoo renovations. Besides old mothers bringing their children to see their fathers, the zoo now provided spaces for the new generation of women to date their boyfriends in the park. For the town’s zoo, this room added at the end of the primate area, with rain hitting the iron roof, animal calls (and conversations from the men’s park) and the sound of waves hitting the cliffs, seemed far from a suitable place for romance. Mikan had never been there.
She never saw that boy again, though he didn’t play baseball. He likely lived the life he joked about, pooping off the cliff.
When her mother came out of the restroom, Mikan was imagining holding the tortoiseshell cat that had just died. She remembered her father saying that the zoo’s most famous animal was a giraffe, but it was a specimen, transported from Tokyo Zoo, always standing in the most conspicuous place. He saw it every morning as if it were still alive. She asked if he would become a specimen too, but she couldn’t remember his answer (she always remembered her questions but not others’ answers).

The end of the Windu/palpatine duel has been commented and debated a lot over the years but something I don't see discussed nearly as much is the premise of this fight: When Anakin tells Windu that Palpatine is a sith lord, Windu immediatly goes to confront Palpatine with three other masters and arrest him. I think that was a terrible move on Windu's part.
-The biggest mistake, in my opinion, is to not inform anyone of what's going on, meaning if Windu loses, no one knows about Palpatine, except Anakin who's not in a very good headspace and not the most trusted person by the jedi council, which allows Anakin to attack the jedi templs with a complete surprise effect. I think the temple should be in an alert state, ready for whatever Palpatine could attempt, and at the very least Yoda should have been notified. He was on his wood platform on Kashyyyk, so he could have taken the call.
I also think other people should have been informed. Padmé comes to mind, since she is known for her good relationship with the jedi order and her political influence. Bail too is a known ally of the jedi with credibility in the senate.
-I think the jedi trying to arrest Palpatine on their own was a bad move too. They have no authority, no legitimacy to do so, and it was way too easy to make look like a coup. With all the informations they had gathered during the clone wars, had they waited and kept investigated, they could have at least tried to reveal Palpatine's true nature/plans to the public.
It's weird, now that I think about it, that no one even tried showing the senate or leaking the security footage of the jedi temple. They have a hologram showing anakin killing many jedi and bowing to a cloaked figure we can't see the face of but that could realistically be Palpatine. Then we see said figure calling Anakin his "apprentice" (which, in context, sounds a lot like a Sith thing to say) and talking about the Empire as their own. I'm not saying Palpatine couldn't get out of this but it would a the very least create doubt in the senate.

Context. I live in my bfs apartment. Its an upstairs/downstairs duplex. We live upstairs. And this isn't a normal apartment this is a house that some guy bough and renovated to be 2 apartments and rents it out on fb marketplace. He does long term rentals so my bf has had his apartment upstairs for 7 years and ive lived here with him for 2. The way you get into our apartment is you enter through the side door and theres an area everyone has access to and you can go down a short flight of stairs to get to the basement where the washers and dryers are (we own our own set ourselves and the other set is technically communal but that's gross) if you go upstairs you hit another landing with the neighbors back door and bathroom door and another starcase that leads to our front door. And since this is a renovated regular house a lot of the rooms dont make a lot of sense. The downstairs apartment doesn't have its own bathroom technically. The bathroom entrance is in the stairwell. So they have to completely leave their apartment and go into the shared stairwell to shower or use the toilet. So the downstairs neighbors use the stairwell as much as us despite them having their own front door at the front of the house.
Our landlord kinda sucks. He doesn't really upkeep the property unless someone complains. I dont have his number cuz technically im not on the lease and my bf doesn't want to bother him with trivial stuff cuz technically he could kick us out if he wanted to. My bfs lease says no pets and any people that move in must be added. The landord knows im here, ive met him several times. And he knows i have a cat. He raised our rent by $25 a month because of my cat but he never said anything about us not being allowed to have him. And I'm pretty sure its because I've personally done pretty much all of the upkeep inside the house. Im an extremely clean person. A clean freak if you will. And messes and shit make me anxious af. When i moved in we had different downstairs neighbors and they used the stairwell as kinda storage. Mountains of boxes and shoes and toys and shit stacked along the walls. It drove me nuts. But i couldn't do anything about it. When they finally moved out i completely cleaned and decorated the stairwell. Used my own supplies and bought the decorations myself. Spent hours scrubbing the walls and floors and cleaning out the window frames and shit. The decorations arent much, just a couple fake houseplants, but i figured with some decorations in the stairwell whoever moved in next might be detered from using it as storage. All in all cleaning and decorating the stairwell cost me about $150ish and a couple hours of labor. I didnt mind it at all though because now it doesn't make me anxious af when i walk into the building. And the landlord loved it and thanked me and his wife thanked me.
In the year, maybe year and a half, since the first neighbors moved weve gone through like 3 or 4 people downstairs. We hated most of them because they were loud af at all hours. One used to blast music at like 2am. There was one we really liked at first. A couple the same age as us who were pretty cool. And we hoped they would last a while but after the first week they started fighting constantly. Screaming at each other in the middle of the night and shit. They didn't even last the whole first month before they broke up and the guy left. And the chick had to leave cuz she couldn't afford the apartment solo. That's when we got our current neighbors. We've never spoken to each other and im not even sure who actually lives there cuz there's always people coming and going and I've never consistently seen any one person there. They kinda creeped me out when they first moved in cuz they had their back door open (the door that leads into the stairwell) and i was in the stairwell to go outside and smoke but got distracted on my phone for a second and one of the guys stood in the doorway and staired at me with a weird look on his face till i left. But after that i never saw him again so i dont think he actually lives there. They're pretty quiet so we didnt mind them at first. But then they started leaving their trash in the stairwell. And ig they don't have an actual trashcan for their bathroom or bedroom cuz it would be like fast food bags filled with used toilet paper and shit like that. And they would leave the trash there for days until i would take it to the trashcan outside. And i got sick of that pretty quick and tried a couple times to knock to talk to them but noone would answer so i left them a note that wasn't mean or bitchy or anything i basically just said the stairwell is communal and ive been taking their trash outside for them but they need to start taking their trash outside. And they did. But they would leave in on the ground literally next to the trashcan instead of inside it. And the wind would blow their trash all over the back yard (the back yard is our yard and the front yard is their yard) so id still be cleaning up their trash constantly. But i never had to bring it up to the landlord cuz i was outside one day when he was at the next door house (which he also owns and is split into 2 apartments the same way as ours) and he asked me if it was us leaving our trash on the ground cuz he was sick of having to clean up trash before he could mow and i told him no its the downstairs people and that they do it a lot and were leaving it inside but i was sick of cleaning up after them too. Ig he said something to them cuz they started putting their trash somewhere else. Idk where though cuz we only have 1 outside trashcan and I've never seen them use it. But problem solved right? Wrong. Im pretty sure they've been just piling their trash up in their house cuz not to long after that i saw a roach in the stairwell. I lost my shit and killed it and my bf saw it and said it wasnt a roach and convinced me i was being dramatic. Then i saw one in our apartment. And i caught it under a cup to show him and he finally believed me. So we had to sink a bunch of money into buying shit to prevent more from coming into our apartment. Caulk for cracks in the walls, outlet covers, drain covers, door sleeves. That kinda shit. It was one and done though so he didnt want to bother the landlord with it. And it's been months and i havnt seen anything else, even in the stairwell, so i think the landlord found out anyway and said something or they just decided to do something themselves.
Now they've lived here a while and have gotten comfortable. I had to buy an air freshener for the stairwell because they go and take giant disgusting shits and turn the stairwell into a gas chamber. And they've started using the stairwell to knock dirt off their carpets and shit and they just leave the dirt on the ground. So im constantly having to sweep it up myself. And my bf keeps blaming me for the stairwell smelling like cigarettes because he knows i smoke but i go outside and close the door so ik its not me and i was confused for a while how it could be me until i caught the neighbors one night smoking in their kitchen with the door to the stairwell open so all the cigarette smoke drifted into the stairwell. I've started leaving the windows open in the stairwell to clear out the smoke. But its cold at night still and the neighbors keep going and aggressively closing the windows cuz its to cold ig.
And none of this is my responsibility. I shouldn't have to constantly be cleaning up after them. It's not my house. The stairwell is communal the landlord should be cleaning it but he doesn't and since i dont want to constantly have to look at messes and shit i end up having to do it and im so fucking sick of it.

I (39F) have become the primary caregiver to my 81yr old grandmother the past few years. Being a nurse and working in LTC I notice the signs of decline immediately. In the past 3 years she has noticeably given up on eating, ended up in the hospital 4x because of this so far. Says she has no appetite. In hospital she has had full head to toe work ups and is perfectly healthy as far as underlying issues, no cancer etc. We have tried the ensure thing and she refuses. But if family is around she can easily finish an entire plate making them all think she’s eating just fine. I don’t get it? Her hygiene has slipped, no longer showers regularly. She lives alone in the country about 25min away from family and absolutely refuses to move to town or accept any kind of help. She’s of sound mind and capable of making her own decisions- per the doctors standards. I have managed to get her on antidepressants which seemed to work for a while and now have plateaued but her doctor refuses to reassess them saying the one she takes is best for her to prevent further health problems. I don’t know if she’s depressed or giving up? Her only goal everyday is to wake up from bed at 11am, move to the couch and lay there all day long until bedtime at 10pm. She doesn’t call anyone anymore to talk, she doesn’t visit anyone or invite anyone out. She says she does not want to die but is perfectly content with her life and laying around all day everyday. She can no longer stand for more then 5min at a time but refuses any assistive devices. I set up a fall alarm system for her last year and she’s still mad at me about it. And she now has a cellulitis infection in her leg with severe edema( swelling) probably from laying around with no movement, poor circulation. She has been to the hospital twice now for IV antibiotics and the docs always encourage physical movement which she agrees to but then goes home back to the couch. My family is incredibly useless with helping me with her and I feel so alone and unsure what to do anymore? Pushing her makes her upset but leaving it alone allows her to lay around all day wasting away. Do I just have to somehow accept this is it for her? She’s basically just waiting to die😢

From the beginning: my family and I moved into our current residence on May 6th, 2023. My husband ran into an old friend who was about to start renting one of his places. After we talked my partner text his friend, confirming our interest, and we made an agreement, setting terms, price, and other details. We transferred the required amount electronically to ensure there was proof of payment and that was the beginning of our sublease.
Now, let’s fast forward to April 2024.
My husband was outside when the property manager arrived. He got out of his car and told my husband, "You’re not the name on the lease agreement, and you’re squatting.” Did not even introduce himself just started accusing. My husband quickly corrected him, explaining that we had a sublease. The property manager then claimed, “This is supposed to be a vacant unit.” (Again it’s been almost a year at this pt)
The PM then said, "Rent hasn’t been getting paid." (He kept saying different things) My husband responded that we could show him all the receipts and that we personally knew the person to whom we had been paying rent. However, the property manager was unwilling to listen.
After being told what happened I waited for the property manager and flagged him down, reiterating what my husband had already explained. The property manager responded that whoever we had an agreement with was fraudulent and claimed we were squatters. Realizing I wasn’t getting through to him, I asked if there was anything I could do, like apply in the office. I was willing to do whatever was necessary because this situation had come out of nowhere, and I have children, so I was in panic mode.
I explained to him that I have an eviction from a few years ago, which is why we chose to sublease since it's extremely difficult to find a place. He then said, "Oh no, we can't do anything with an eviction."
He persisted about a squatter's warrant.
I immediately started calling legal counsel and found an amazing woman who, I believe, is the reason we are still in our place today. She guided me on what to do and how to prepare. I followed her instructions meticulously, putting everything she advised into a binder and keeping it by the door, ready for when the officers came. After that we have been steady moving things out in hopes we find something sooner than later.
Now fast forward to this past Thursday, the day finally arrived. I wasn’t home at the time. My husband called me to say that the officers were at our home. He said a few words, and I asked to be put on speakerphone so I could also communicate with the officers.
I explained the entire situation, similar to what I described above but in more detail. During this time, two more law enforcement officers arrived, as well as the maintenance and the property manager.
The officer asked my husband if there was anything in our name. My husband mentioned that the lights were in our name. The officer then asked the property manager, “What are you wanting to do today?” The property manager replied, “Regain possession of the property.” The officer responded, “Well, that’s going to be tricky. Come talk to me real quick.”
The officer pulled the property manager aside and explained the situation. We heard him say, “Your predecessor has to be involved. We’ve been here countless times for the same thing,” but then it became too quiet to hear the rest of their conversation. My husband said that immediately after this, the manager walked away to make a call.
The officer returned and, along with the other officers, almost in unison, said, “You’ve been scammed.” Since I had mentioned I was speaking with a lawyer they said I should definitely press charges. During this time, the property manager came back, now much nicer, apologized, explaining he had to be aggressive because his boss was pressuring him. He remembered from our previous interaction that both my husband and I work, and he said, “Come by the office and I will do whatever I can to get you in.”
One officer I spoke to later informed me that these officers have been here countless times over the past couple of months, sometimes more than a few times a week, all for the exact same issue. They all suspect something but don’t know what it is.
I got the officer’s information and I’m currently in the process of figuring out who to file charges against. Initially, I was only going to go after my husband’s friend because the manager said the rent had never been paid. However, it turns out there was a female in the office that he(husbands friend) and multiple other people used to go through, and she “took care” of everything.
During the course of all this the current property manager said multiple times they were under new management. After researching, I discovered the property management company has not changed.
Since Thursday, I have kept digging & it payed off I received a phone number to deepen the mystery. It’s someone in the same complex who got his apartment through his “friend”, not the leasing office. I called this friend, pretending to be interested in getting a place. He informed me that the charge is $1,500 and that he and his girl (possibly the same girl in the office?) handle everything. They instructed me to pick whatever place I wanted on Zillow, and ”his girl would push it through”.
The girl in the office, whom my husband’s friend dealt with, got a promotion, as he told my husband. When she left in December, she was replaced by the current PM. So it’s baffling that the new PM been here since December but didn’t know anyone was occupying our unit or the 30 others he’s been throwing ppl out of. I know it’s a long list from what I was told. Even more so how didn’t the prior manager catch this? I mean since we are all “squatters”
I don’t know the full extent of this situation or who exactly is involved, but they need to be stopped... I have no family or anyone to turn to I’m beyond stressed. I have called every number 211 has given me to try and get out and nothing. I’m so scared we will be on the street….I’m so thank the officers saw the truth and allowed us to stay I just hope it buys us enough time to find a place that will take us in. Life should not be like this people are really evil and will do horrible horrible things to make some money. Thanks for listening any advice is appreciated. I will literally relocate anywhere in the US I just want my children and my cats to be safe.

Bought a house out of state in a gated community in coastal SC . Price was north of a $1million. Realtor representing us picked their recommended local inspection company to do the inspection. We paid for the premium package inspection.
There were a number of things this individual missed. He told us in once case, he missed a lot of pest droppings in storage closets because he claimed they cannot touch the sellers belongings. The Perimiter of the closets were not completely covered with items, and the droppings were visible.
He also missed a water mark on the primary suite bathroom ceiling that a roofer who came to give an estimate found and told us about.
We were only in the house 45mins (that’s all we were allowed for the first showing and only showing). When we got back in the car that day we were told there was another offer and if we were interested, we had to make an offer that evening. We did. It was accepted.
I asked the home inspector to carefully look at the washer as it was a15 year old Bosch front load. I was concerned a lot mold/bacteria issues as I have a kid allergic to mold. After his inspection it was deemed the gasket around the door needed to be cleaned or replaced. The seller replaced it.
It’s been 2 months and we finally went to spend some time at the house and start painting and other repairs.
I went to do a load of laundry and opened the laundry soap compartment, and almost fainted. It was completely coated in black. I put on a mask, took out the removable parts and tried to scrub/soak them as best I could. It became evident that there were so many cracks and crevices and areas I would not be able to reach like the pipes were the laundry soap goes down to the machine are still totally black.
The house came with a home warranty. I’ve heard the stories about what BS those are. And you have to pay minimum $125 for a house call. I think the washing machine should be deemed non-functioning.
This was not revealed during the initial 2 week repair estimate period after we put our earnest money down. Our realtor has been in business there 20 years and said they’d buy us the best home warranty package if the seller did not. We didn’t know here before this house hunt-found her via social media. Honestly with that level of experience I think realtors should have advised us to open all the compartments of the washing machines if they see this all the time. I don’t have a front loader. Today she told us this is common, that’s why people what top loaders.
I’ve read some posts that say a washing machine or any appliance w mold should be deemed non functioning. I already soaked and scrubbed the gasket around the Miele dishwasher to restore it after it was found w lots of gunk.
I’m not using this washer. Who would? But now I have to replace it if I keep the house or re-sell the house. I couldn’t/wouldnt donate it, and risk exposing another family.
What should we do….who should compensate us? Realer says run a load on hot water bleach to fix it. I don’t think that’s gonna cut it. Sorry this page does not allow photos to show the condition of this compartment.
Thanks in advance for any tips!

the essay has not been completed yet, i just wanted get an opinion on my presentation of ideas. P.S I am aiming for a grade 7-8.
the question : how far does priestley present society as unfair in an inspector calls [34 marks]
the essay :An inspector calls is a morality and an anti-war play written by J.B Priestley in 1945 and set in 1912 in the fictional town of Brumley. The play follows through the involvement of an upper middle class family in the death of a lower class worker- Eva smith. J.B Priestley presents how far society is unfair by using the difference in power within the upper and middle class alongside the division in fair treatment based upon ones position and status within the class and gender hierarchy system. J.B priestley who was a socialist believed that this difference in class and gender systems should be abolished by the adoption of socialist views.
J.B priestley uses Mr Birling to show how far the society is unfair. He does this my presenting Mr Birlings attitudes towards people of lower class; specifically, females. In act 1, Mr birling commands Edna, the Birlings’ maid to “show him in here. Give us more light”. This suggests that Mr Birling expects Edna a worker from a lower class to serve the family tirelessly even past her usual working hours to contribute towards the celebration of Gerald and Sheila ‘s engagement – “ bring us some port”. Additionally, the use of imperative verbs- show and give suggest that Mr Birling commands Edna to follow is orders almost instantaneously. This shows us the mistreatment of the lower classes within the society . Priestley chooses to use Edna as a construct to represent the working lower classes of the patriarchal society in 1912 and 1945. Furthermore, the use of the repetition of “light” in the stage directions and in Mr Birlings words suggests that the working class will be the ones to enlighten the upper and middle classes and bring to “light” the mistreatment and unfair inequalities with in the patriarchal society and class systems. In addition, Mr birling also shows apathy towards the death of his former worker- Eva smith by claiming that “this girl” had interrupted his “business” by protesting for higher wages and it was his “duty to keep labour costs down”. This suggests that Mr Birling dismisses the death of Eva to highlight that he has no responsibility in her death as he was only doing his “duty”. The use of the verb- “duty” shows that he tries to justify his doing by claiming it to be the right thing to do. Priestley does this to further use Mr Birling as a construct of capitalism to encourage the contemporary audience to support socialist ideologies while criticizing the capitalist views held by the upper classes.
J.B Priestley also uses Gerald and Mrs Birling and their interactions with Eva smith/Daisy Renton to show how far the society is unfair. He does this by suggesting how Gerald and Mrs Birling exploited and mistreated Eva even when needed help the most. This is seen when, Gerald comes clean to the inspector stating that he had rescued her from “Aldermann Megarty” only to make her his mistress and lodge her a house over summer. He states that she had “lived economically on what I allowed her” before leaving her towards the “end”. This suggests that despite him rescuing her from a “notorious womanizer” ; had installed a dynamic of control in their relationship by “allowing her”. The use verb –“allowing” emphasises the control he had over her life as his mistress . Priestley chooses to do this to show the audience that even ‘good’ men such as Gerald have a considerable impact on showing how unfair the society of the 1912 is. Additionally, Gerald despite his exploitive behaviour towards the working class states that Eva had made him feel like a “fairy prince”. The use of simile shows that in Gerald’s views he had done the right thing to protect and shelter her, much like what a “fairy prince” would have done. Furthermore, the use of the adjective; “fairy” connotes that Gerald is wanting to be viewed as innocent and sweet almost painting himself as a perfect man who is found only in “fairy” tales. Priestley does this show to the audience that capitalism had been etched into the minds of people and that it will take a long time to overcome it and to support the equal treatment of society. In addition to this, Mrs Birling admits rather pridefully that she had “use my influence to have it refused” when talking about rejecting the charity and donation she could have given to Eva while she was pregnant with Eric’s child. The use of the verb- “influence” shows that Mrs Birling is aware of her social class and uses it actively to assert dominance over the poor working class women who need her help. This is also ironic as she is the head of the Brumley women’s charity organisation yet she undermines the women who need help from her ”charity” by referring to them as –“girls of that class”. The use of the noun- “girl” shows that she looks down upon the women of the lower classes to be immature like girls. Priestley chooses to use Mrs Birling to show that the older generation has negatively impacted the society with their overly capitalist views and to highlight the need to change within the government and non- profit organisations to avoid injustice and inequality in service. This shoes how far Priestley shows that the society is unfair.
thank you in advance :)

TLDR: guy tricked me into going to a birthday dinner as his date then left me at the table, should I say something? Or am I overreacting?
Need to know how or if I even should address a situation that happened to me yesterday. This could be a really long story but bear with me. So a guy that I am only friends with and have only met a few times out (with other friends) invited me to a dinner at a restaurant I go to frequently, made it seem like it was a casual dinner did not invite me on a date.
For context, I have gone to dinner with this guy with other people and other friends and it’s been super casual and there’s nothing going on between us so I thought this was going to be the same type of thing. Turns out he was actually bringing me to his close friends birthday dinner and it was all couples. Mind you I don’t even have this man’s number in my phone. We do not text or talk.
I went along with it because whatever and everything was normal and fine throughout dinner. Then after dinner he starts getting mad at me because I won’t do shots with him. Even after that he starts getting very touchy-feely flirting with me which again is fine. I’m not naïve. I know he thinks I’m attractive or else why would he ever invite me out for anything but this is the first time he’s been overtly touchy and
At one point he ends up leaving the table because he sees someone at the bar that he knows and he leaves me with his friends - says he will be right back. He’s gone when they are doing the split of the bill and his friends are like “make sure that he accepts the Venmo when you guys get home” and I look at them confused because I’m like wait I’m not dating this guy???? Why would I be with him at his house later?? I even said I don’t even have his phone number… and they’re all looking at me confused…. So I clarify that we met a few months ago we’re friends to an extent that we hangout at bars sometimes with other friends but we are not together…so now I’m uncomfortable because these friends either think I’m like a hooker who he met and just brought to his dinner or that I’m lying because he must’ve told them something else.
At this point it’s been over 15 minutes since he left the table and he has not come back from the bar so they were getting up to go meet him over there and I had no interest so I just left.
He has not messaged me since I left, nothing, he didn’t even ask where I went when I didn’t show up with his friends. I don’t even think I’m going to address the situation with him because I don’t care I am not interested in him like that..He now put me in a bad position in front of people I don’t know but we all live in the same area
Also am I overreacting or do people agree that’s weird of him to do? Trust me I am not naïve about situations like this I know men typically only spend money on women they want to hookup with but I’ve been out with this same guy multiple times where it’s very casual. And to be honest if he had told me it was a birthday dinner and asked me to be his date I probably would have said yes??? I just don’t fuck with the deception part

I’ve been seeing a lot of opinions on Xaden using his second signet on Violet. It did eventually stop and there seems to be discourse on when exactly this happened. Many people believe she had a right to be upset about this. I can understand that. However if I were Xaden I would’ve done nothing differently. He has been assigned since childhood to protect the marked children, he has taken responsibility for them. He is a Duke of Aretia. He is the confidence and the leader that many many people depend on for hope that their people are going to survive. He is the son Fen Riorson who gave his life to the rebellion. All of this is a responsibility that he bears on his shoulders alone. It’s a very lonely and hard existence. It also comes with paranoia and trust issues when your second signet could get him killed. Xaden didn’t want to have feeling towards Violet and I don’t think he wanted to be in a relationship. He has to know that being in a relationship with him is hard. It’s the equivalent of being married to someone in the CIA who comes home and says his work is classified. He also has to make sacrifices for the greater good of the war, and he probably thinks the less people are attached to him the better in case the day comes he has to make the ultimate sacrifice. He didn’t know if he could trust Violet and considering his position in the war, he has to use all the advantages he has at his fingertips to make sure he’s keeping his people safe. I’m not excusing the behavior but logically it makes sense to me, and there was never a point where I was upset with him using it, only relieved that he finally shared something deeper about himself to her. He stopped doing it and no character is perfect.

Back in the early 1970s (during the UFO Wave of 74), two of my brothers were living at home while in college. Where heavy into UFO investigation with MUFON and legendary NICAP UFO investigation organizations. My brothers got tired of being there after the fact and taking down pages of interviews and scientific dates on any trace evidence. So they got it into their heads to put their extensive knowledge of amateur radio, electronics, astronomy, and UFOs to good use. They mapped out “sighting hotspots” and then went out to those locations to camp out. When they spotted anything interesting, they attempted to make contact. It ultimately worked, and their new ‘little friends in those saucers’ tracked them back to our typical family home in the suburbs. The airspace above our home became a weekly UFO-sighting hot spot. So much so that it caught the interest of unmarked military surveillance and later the authentic men in black. Meanwhile, in the wee hours of the night or morning, we would have ‘Visitors’
I was involved in two of those visits as a six- and later eight-year-old. I woke up in the 2 a.m. to 3 a.m. hour twice. To find an intense blue light shining in from all windows of the house and in the shadows, it is within the house. The shadows moved with small figures not of this earth. I ran into my parents bedroom in panic and grabbed my father’s foot to shake him awake. Only to find his entire body move or slide across the surface of the mattress, as weightless as a balloon. I tried again! Again, the same response. I ran around the bed to my mother to shake her awake. She was lying on her side, her face facing me. Her eyes were completely open, and tears were streaming down her cheek. And she was just as weightless and frozen stiff as my father! I ran out of the room now, in panic, into my brother's bedroom. Both of them are the same, this time facing up stiff as boards in their twin beds. And finally, into my sister's room (she was four years older than me). My sister's eyes were open, and she was frozen stiff in bed, face up and in a screeching.
Panic and now in hysterics I backed out into the hallway. Weeping and hyperventilating. Because over my shoulder down the hall and into the living room, some twenty feet away. The shadows were coming at me from every corner. I ran back into my parents bedroom, grabbing their feet at the foot of the bed, screaming, Momma! Poppa!! Momma!! Poppa!!! In the panic, I made a last attempt to get some help. In my mind, screaming, my conscience told me over and over again, “They are all dead!”
That is when I felt two small hands come across the top of my shoulders from behind. Four fingers each dug into my shoulders. By the grip, they had a delicate female feel to them. But extremely elongated. And I heard a female voice, gentle as an angel, say. “They are alright, Little One.” The instant I heard that voice, I went limp; the hysterics, the panic, and the shear horror of the moment vanquished and disappeared as if they never existed. Even though facing forward, I watched as my parents weightless bodies float back and forth on top of their sheet-less bed, subsiding from my shaking them moments before. I was now just a silent observer, as if I were watching the scene unfold from above. My body is limp in the grip of this unseen being. Limp without any free will or even the ability to move.
She continued, “They are only sleeping. All is fine. You shouldn’t be up to see this.” I was escorted across the room. (We had a 3-bedroom, 1-story typical suburbian ranch.) Being the youngest, I was forced to have a corner of my parents bedroom. The room was divided by a fold-out wooden partition, though this night it was down. It escorted me across the room from behind, guiding me and pushing me forward towards my bed. Repeating the above line. Finally escorted to my bed, I was turned around and sat down on the edge of my bed. Until I faced it face-to-face.
As to what I saw before me, It’s on the cover of Whitney Stribers ‘Communion.’
She reiterated the above a third time, adding. “Now back to sleep with you,” I smiled at her and obeyed completely under her’s control. I swung my feet up into bed. Still sitting up, I turned to her one last time. Smiled again. And when I turned around in bed, Looking down. I saw something I cannot explain. which will sound unbelievable to any reader reading this. Including you.
I saw my body still in bed! And I laid down back into it!
And I went back to sleep. The next morning, I woke up at noon. My mother is shaking me awake. Since I had never slept so long before and had missed my Saturday morning ritual of cartoon watching, I woke up before everyone else, and my snackes set out for the whole Saturday morning cartoon watching ritual. It was noon. And my mom was a bit panicked at my not waking up. But finally, she releaved.
I did try to tell my parents what had happened. But parents, being parents, are confronted with such a story. “It was just a dream.”
My brothers, though, turned pale as sheets. They have had similar events, which I learned about much later.
Again, this was 1974. Before the UFO phenomenon became a subject of popular media and public consciousness, The UFO subject was still rather underground.
I did have a second encounter with “The Night Visitors,” as we call them. I again awoke in the middle of a possible abduction of my entire family. She was again there! But this time, it was rather peaceful. It was playful and surprising in that I was surprised here again. And I got a very distinct sense of amusement from her. And she kindly ordered me to go back to bed on my own this time. And I did it without question or putting up a fight.
Of course, my mother was across the room, her eyes open, her face frozen in panic, and a silent, frozen scream was across her face.
Those are but two of the dozens of UFO-related encounters my family had throughout the 1970s. Two of four things that personally happened to me! The two others did not involve a face-to-face encounter.
Those two events. Those two fully conscious memories and body-feel memories altered my entire life. In the late 1980s, I entered college myself. Cultural Anthropology Degree: I also joined MUFON as an investigator and several other formal academic-based organizations into the Paranormal, which I will not name here, and for the sake of their tenure and academic reputations, I wouldn’t like to be named. All in the hopes of finding answers. Personal answers and truths as to what my entire family and I experienced. In the decades since the on-and-off investigation, I have come in contact with and interviewed true ex-military intelligence operators, people in the know, and even former Apollo astronauts. Which btw will talk. Only if their stories will never come to light to the larger public. People will be people, even if NDAs are involved. Humans are, after all, notorious gossips. Over a backyard BBQ or sharing a few beers over a mutually enjoyed big game. They will tell you everything when they absolutely trust you as a friend.
I can tell you this. David Jacobs is not entirely alarmist in his hypothesis!
Nor is Richard Dolan’s and Dr.Steve Greers argument for purely benevolent visitors entirely true!
As benevolent as that female voice and being were to me,.
I will forever see the silent, tearful, frozen scream of my mother and my sister’s faces over that visitor's shoulder!
We must keep an open mind when it comes to this phenomenon and examine all possibilities!
After all, we are dealing with something totally alien and totally foreign!
And the likes of the late Stephen Hawking are entirely correct. “As we know from history, when the Spanish landed in the New World (North America), it did not go well for the native population.”
56, Anthropology Degree Holder, Male