Start bolens bl100 weed eater

I apologize for this maybe a long story as I have 3 years of information to put into it. So I (f22) have been dating my boyfriend (m24) for 7-8 years. My MIL did not like me from the start just because she felt her son could "find someone better." I have always been nice to her as I'm a people pleaser.
2 and a half years ago my boyfirned and I had gotten pregnant with our daughter. When my MIL found out she pushed us for about 3 months to get an abortion/adoption, which we kept saying no to. Since we said no she went to my parents to demand they make me abort/adoption the pregnancy. But unfortunately for her, I was visiting them that day and we got into an argument about it to which she said bf and I would be terrible parents because we both have "mental disorders" (depression and anxety). This argument went on for about an hour before my dad stepped in, forcing her to back down and leave.
Also during my pregnancy and for a whole year after bf was letting MIL do our laundry as we lived in an apartment at the time. I had noticed during this that clothes (mine, my daughters, ect) were going missing. I would ask her if she misplaced the missing clothes or gave them to bf's sister by mistake, which let to her freaking out. She would call me ungrateful and selfish everytime I asked and would threaten to stop doing my clothes and only do baby's and bf's. After a almost 2 years of her doing our laundry I finally convinced my bf to look for our missing clothes. When we went searching in her house we found 4 piles of some of the missing baby clothes in a garage sale pile. I was so mad and frustrated at how insane MIL made me feel everytime I asked I just left without a word. About an hour later she called us claiming she had "just found" so of the baby's clothes and had bf pick up all the clothes we just found. The worst parts about this is that the clothes she took were mostly clothes my family and I bought the baby and most were still brand new but no longer fit along with when bf came to pick them up she also handed him one of my dressing stated that she wanst planning on selling my fancy clothes.
When my daughter was born, MIL called us bad parents for not taking the baby to the Dr she picked out. And for a few months would bring up the dr she picked trying to convince us to switch drs. During this time she also would complain about how my daughter looked more like me then bf.
Last August we had to move back in with our parents because our landlord trippled our rent. Baby and I lived with my parents and bf moved back with his. And we lived with them for about 5 months till we found our first house in december. After we bought the house I had found out that MIL was apparently trying to convince bf to break up with me. Saying many things including calling me a golddigger, because I'm a stay at home mom and don't have a college degree(I got 2 jobs after graduating highschool and quit them when I got pregnant because bf wanted me to), saying I'm a terrible mom, telling him I'll leave him and take the house and kid with me, and claiming it would be better to break up, pay child support, and never see his daughter again then to marry me. Along with complaining about random things I posted/shared on fb. With this info I blocked her on fb. Which she also freaked out about on Christmas and ran away for 3-4 hrs.
Now on to this year. I caught her going through my things in my bedroom but when she realized I saw her she claimed my daughter lost her toy and was trying to find it.
I've found out from SIL that MIL is also talking bad about me to her neighbors and coworkers, claiming I dress weird and that I keep the kid from her ( I dont and never have), and that I'm not the one for her son and "he can do better".
I am now pregnant with my second and have had bad morning sickness that lasts all day. With this information SIL told me that MIL has been going around her house calling me a picky eater (I don't like pizza or fish) and that it's apparently not right that bf has been making dinner for the past few nights. She also has been complaining that I shouldn't be posting a potato soup recipe on fb. (No clue why soup is a bad thing but I guess it is)
And from what I understand SIL also over heard MIL talking about getting my daughter secretly baptized. Stated that MIL claims bf and I "would never know". Bf and I are not religious and believe it should be up to my daughter when she's older if she wants baptized. MIL knows this information.
My bf just ignores everything his mom does as that was how he handled her as a kid and refuses to go no contact with her. He has even stated that I should ignore her antics and "stop looking for drama" when I ask his sister to keep an ear out for negative comments from MIL about me. But with everything she has done I feel defeated and just want to be done with her and her crossing boundaries over and over.
AITA? Or am I looking for drama?
Note: this is only info from the past 3 years and there are some things I did not add that has also happened during these 3 years.

Played in my LGS's 1000 point tournament today with some friends and I had a really good time. I'm a relatively new player so I was nervous after only having playing around 10 games since starting. Knowing where our beloved chapter sits in rankings gave me a "what's the point if we will just lose anyway" mindset at the start, but that is definitely gone now.
Played 3 games, lost 2, won 1 and had an absolute blast the whole way, finishing 5th.
First game was against World Eaters and I was really nervous of the Angron in deepstrike, so I held Dante and the Sang guard back to rapid ingress after he hit the board. Highlight of the game was finally having a chance to use the melta pistols to weaken him, and them finish him off with a Red Rampage, Red Thirst boosted charge.
Second game was against Necrons and it was brutal. Ctan shard killed anything I came near and the Wraiths were tanks as hell, but it felt really good dropping my 10 brick of infernus marines on a point to fire and then overwatch on their turn.
Third game against Astra wasn't really a game so much as 2 turns of getting shot at, but I learned a lot about deployment and terrain type. Hills are not buildings so my Libby dread got popped before he could attempt to wings anyone, and my judiciar failed both attempts at a charge so we died a glorious death in our own deployment zone, but I learned a lot about deployment and firing lanes.
Every unit that I played filled their role, some games more than others but it was a blast, and I will definitely go to the next one.

This is my ex when we were both 18. He was a drug dealer and smoked a lot of weed, nothing more than that though. I did smoke with him but my tolerance was god awful. I only started smoking because of him as a previous non smoker. I still smoke on occasion but not ever as much as I did with him. I was high 24/7 when we dated which was honestly awful.
One night we smoked together and I smoked way way too much I could barely tell where I was or what was going on. Looking back, I’m pretty sure this was a green out. I was so anxious and paranoid I could barely think and I just wanted to come down. I told him I just wanted to go to sleep and it was pretty early in the night so it was really unusual. Once he figured out I was way too high he comforted me about it and tried to make me feel better even though I felt embarrassed about not handling my weed. All was good and he was being really sweet until he kind of started asking for sex.
I said yes to sex, then before he put it in I said for him to not. He obliged and then just ate me out and I sucked him off. I barely remember any of this and when I woke up I almost forgot it happened. I couldn’t really believe we did anything sexual the night before because I was so stoned and I really don’t even know if I could’ve properly consented. I think it was a really bad grey area. We broke up shortly after for unrelated reasons and after we broke up I found out he allegedly had two girls accuse him of the same thing. Them getting way to high and him pressuring them into sex.
I guess Ill never know if he knew how gone I was or if I could consent. Maybe he didn’t know? Maybe im overreacting. The whole sexual interaction felt like it didnt happen and that I made it up, but I know it did. Its just hard to recall. But, the fact it happened to TWO other girls is insane. I have smoked with my current boyfriend many times and its pretty obvious when someone is too fucked up off weed to have sex.

Long story short, I (17m) met this girl (17f) back in September last year when college reopened, and the moment I met let’s call her Louise, I fell for her.
Every time I look at her I feel happy. She is the most beautiful and perfect girl in the world with the most serene voice and prettiest girl. If I had to choose between any girl in the world and Louise, I’d choose her infinitely. Since the start of this year after she broke up with her ex, we have gotten close as friends and she is now my best friend. Our friendship is so beautiful and I am the luckiest man to have met such a beautiful soul as her. She is someone who listens and is non judgemental and truthful and I cherish her. I’ve been wanting to tell her I like her since the moment I met her in class but back then she obviously was in a relationship. For the last two months I’ve been telling myself I will confess my deep feelings for her but haven’t been able to because I know what the answer will be.
I know that she will never love me like I love her. I am a very average guy who is short and stands no chance with her which breaks my heart, because I can’t imagine myself with anyone else but her. Sometimes I just sit and think about her for so long I lose track of time. I know it sounds crazy but Louise is special.
If I confess my feelings towards her, I am going to be heart broken which I already feel, because I know I’ll never be with her. I would much rather not live than not be with her and honestly I’ve contemplated it. What do I do?? I’ve thought about doing as much weed or drinking as much as I can to gain confidence to confess. Please help me I don’t know what to do.

So I work for a nonprofit where lately our management has been doing some very sketchy things. For background, I work in the mental health field & the company doesn’t do much for our burnout and puts us in situations of emotional distress. There are other concerns as well so people started emailing the company as a whole. Because of this, management created office hours where we can drop in to talk with management via zoom since we are mainly a remote business. Since many of us did not want to be one on one with management we decided to create a group and even got okayed by management that we can come in as groups. A coworker organized a private group on a messaging app (not affiliated with the company), and got a good amount of people who shared similar concerns to join. In that group, we mainly spoke about what we wanted to talk about at the office hours with management and occasionally expressed our frustrations. However, in my opinion, no one was ever slandering the company. When we went to the office hours, We spoke with one person from management and there was 17 of us employees present. I think this shocked management and maybe they weren’t expecting such a big group. During the office hours we were all messaging each other in this private app. Just encouraging each other for speaking well and professionally. Come to find out there was a rat in our group message and this person sent screenshots to management and reported us for what? I don’t know. Now, I am suspended on a paid leave from work due to “misconduct during office hours that goes against company policy”. I am being interviewed tomorrow under investigation so I would like to know what my rights are as an employee because this seems so fishy. I know I did not say anything in the private chat that is worth firing me over. We all expected that there would be possible retaliation over us organizing and expressing our concerns to management. I also read through the entire employee handbook and could only find a policy that says we cannot use technology they provide us to do stuff like this but this was done on my personal cell phone & was through an app not affiliated to the company at all. Apparently this has happened before in the company where they weed out people who use their voice and end up firing them (confirmed it happened in 2018) this company is also a revolving door or people coming and leaving… Please help!!

The bright yellow terror

‘’Every now and then I would stare at the murky brown water below and see several small glimpses of bright yellow popping up from and then retreating down below the surface in rhythmic fashion. Like a dance routine. Bright deadly yellow. The rotting sweet stench of death still lodged in my nostrils.’’
I had happened upon these diary pages by mistake when I was digging through old boxes in my basement. My wife had insisted, finally, that I sort out and get rid of everything I didn’t need. Now here I was, confronted with a part of my past I had tried to suppress unsuccessfully for so many years. 24 years to be exact. 24 odd years of trying to understand what exactly happened in those days when I was trapped on a rooftop in Phuket during a deadly and disastrous natural catastrophe.
24 odd years of having to dodge around questions of my abject and unwavering fear of the ocean. Well, in truth, I guess being caught in a large tsunami and witnessing immense destructive forces of nature coming directly from the great wide ocean would be a fair excuse, but it was only half the truth. It wasn’t just the waves themselves that had terrified me.
Until now, I thought the water damaged remains of the diary I kept back then was lost. I even hoped it was. I never shared this story with anyone. Partly because the horror was too fresh in my memory back then and I wanted to focus on moving on with my life and by the time I felt my mind was stabilized I had no real interest in returning to that dark part of my past. Partly because the right words always escaped me.
Mostly because I was afraid people would think I was insane. I can no longer contain this, however. I need an outlet. I spend years running from it. But I guess I can’t lie to myself anymore. Someone once told me that writing can be therapeutic. Simply putting your thoughts down on paper, or in our times, more likely in word document, can help you compartmentalize trauma. So, I’m giving it a try. I can’t pretend the events of those days in Phuket didn’t cast a shadow over everything in my life that came after.
I often think of the beach days I missed with my son when he was a boy. Days where I should’ve done dad stuff. Thrown him into the ocean. Watched him laugh his little face of as he braved the waves. Helped him build sandcastles. Gone exploring along the sandy shores in search of beached treasure in the form little rocks and the odd piece of amber. I just couldn’t. Initially I had objected to the idea of him going at all. Naturally, my wife would hear none of that and I realized reluctantly, that my fear and trauma should not rule my son’s life. Instead, my wife would go, and I would always stay home. She understood, to some degree, what I had gone through and where my fear came from.
Only to some degree. My son did not, and I fear he resented my absence on those perfect sunny days, despite my efforts to make up for it with other activities. Both he and my wife certainly noticed how closed off I was about certain parts of my past. Secrets untold, especially those who are grounded in trauma, almost inevitably turns to toxic in our systems. I’m finally ready. I just hope it isn’t too late.
I won’t lie. I’ve always had a vivid imagination although I have never had trouble distinguishing between what is real and what is not. At least until my sense of reality was forever challenged. I know these things happened to me. I know what I saw and what I experienced was real. I just don’t have a truly rational explanation for it. Yet, I swear, there was something in the water that came with that tsunami. Something deeply, deeply unnatural. Something brightly and oddly yellow. I had no other word for it than the bright yellow terror.
I had travelled to Thailand, more precisely Bangkok late December 2000. 19 years old about to turn 20. I was on one of those infamous and increasingly popular self-discovery trips. I had caught the fever. Like so many other young hopeful adventurers at the time I had seen The Beach. I had read into the wild by Jon Krakauer.
I watched Dicaprio walk the sandy shores of paradise and read on in excitement and awe as Christopher McCandles set out to become one with nature and discover himself. Kill the false being within and all that. In simple terms, I thought I’d try and find my own slice of heaven on earth. Expand my horizon. Get to know some new people. Learn something about myself in the process perhaps. I wasn’t exactly fleeing from anything, that wasn’t it. I had a loving although cuddling and overprotective family. Especially my mom would worry about me constantly (and still does).
Yes, I admit it. My parents had paved the way for me at almost every step. Made sure I got into the right schools. Made sure I never needed for money. I guess I got tired of feeling dependent on them. I stopped taking their money and saved up for the trip myself. It was time I stepped up. It was time I threw myself into the world to see what would happen. Hell of a time and place I picked for that.
The following story is based on the surviving pages of the diary I kept during the time and my own memory.
Bangkok 23rd December 2000. 4 days before the tsunami.
‘’My first day in Bangkok. Quite overwhelming but in a nice way. No one here to save me. No one here to tell me what to do. Thailand is hot and humid and there’s something in the air. I think it’s adventure. I think it’s limitless opportunity. I met a monkey in a diaper and got thoroughly beaten and lost 100 bath in a game of connect four by some 10-year-old kid. Got scammed as well though, I will have to wise up and learn the ropes. Avoid the yellow taxis. Go for the Tuk Tuks. Well, lesson learned. I met a guy who told me all kinds of terrifying things about Australia. Robert. I’m meeting him in Phuket a couple of days from now.’’
You could probably imagine the excitement bubbling within me. For the first time on my own. 19 years old. Prime of my life. In a strangely new and exotic city. Possibilities seemed endless. I still remember vividly driving off with the wind in my hair in a tuk-tuk as Bangkok unfolded before me with all its oriental mysticism and surrounding cityscapes. To be fair, I had never even seen an honest to god palm tree before as they simply couldn’t grow in the northern climate I was from.
I got myself stationed in a decent guesthouse around Khaosan Road. Everywhere I looked it seems others had gotten the same idea as me. Backpackers littered the streets and in a strange way, I felt at home amidst this quiet chaos, amidst the crowds of hopefully likeminded explorers, far, far away from home. The humidity was hitting me though, it was something I would have to get used to. It felt like a wet hot invisible blanket. Khaosan Road was perfect for me. A meeting place for young backpackers, with tons of opportunities to plan further travels. I did after all, not plan on staying in Bangkok for too long. It was just a stepping point to other adventures.
It was still early, and the humidity was clammy as hell. I was in the mood to socialize and with no real plans I simply ventured out into the streets of Bangkok, circling around the area where my guesthouse was located. It wasn’t long before the first opportunity presented itself in the form of a taxi driver calling me over. He offered to take me on a tour of the city. Foolish and naïve as I was, I indulged him. I remember how the cab driver lit up a doobie, joint, spliff, devil’s lettuce whatever you want to call it.
You know it as soon as you breathe in the air. Don’t get me wrong, I smoked myself, but letting a clearly high person drive me around the busy Bangkok traffic did not seem like a good idea. I should probably have asked to be let out that very moment, but as the kind of timid, shy type of person I was plus the desire to just go along with whatever happened come what may made me stay. Unsurprisingly I was eventually led to a store, fitted for a suit a didn’t want, and then subsequently charged an obscene amount for the cab ride. I didn’t have the courage to refuse his unreasonable demand. Noteworthy mention. That same night I heard from a fellow traveler that just recently someone had been stabbed in an argument with a cab driver. I didn’t let it get me down or drive me off course, because as you’ve probably gathered by now, I didn’t have a course.
As day turned to night and when the sun’s rays slowly disappeared behind the rooftops of Bangkok, the city itself began to transform. As if a part of it which had laid dormant, hidden away from the light, started to emerge.
Neon lights advertising different bars, people making all kinds of promises of untold pleasures and sensations. Tourists ready to party. All now filled the streets. Some seemed all too aware of what they were looking for, others simply drifted around aimlessly, in search of something unknown, something to spice up their existence. I found a small seemingly cool place called The Hangover. I swear to god, I wish to this day I hadn’t. Maybe then I wouldn’t have set my course for Phuket. In any case, I went in and pushed myself through the crowds of rowdy and loud tourists and up the bar where I ordered a Pina Colada. Please don’t judge me. I just really like coconuts and the song is pretty good as well. Standing at the crowded bar and looking around, hoping something interesting would catch my eye. But most of all, I was hoping someone would just take the first step and come talk to me.
Someone did. His name was Robert, and he was from Australia. A tall skinny and no-nonsense older guy who seemed quite experienced with all things Thailand. He eventually invited me down to his group of friends at the far back end of the bar. Robert spared no time telling me about himself. He had worked all kinds of jobs, in all kinds of places. Most recently he had worked as a guide in Phuket. Among other things he had arranged rock climbing expeditions. I probably forgot to mention, I was big into rock climbing and generally all kinds of outdoor activities back then.
I already had quite the climbing experience despite my young age. As Robert talked about all the places he’d been, he made me feel like the novice I was. That was never his intention though, as I quickly learned. He wasn’t a bragger. He just knew what he was talking about and when he laughed, he did it with his entire face and in a way that made you laugh with him and feel comfortable.
Eventually the conversation naturally gravitated towards Australia. A place I had always wanted to visit. He looked at me for a second, as if to contemplate something. Then told me to watch out for locals trying to play pranks on me. I was naturally interested in hearing more and that’s when he told me about drop bears. Supposedly drop bears are carnivorous versions of Koalas residing in trees to then drop down on unsuspecting victims and viciously attack them. We laughed quite a lot, and I admitted I would probably have believed the stories as I was a fairly naive person and the idea of hostile subspecies of koalas didn’t seem that farfetched to me. It would be typical of past me to get punked around like that. Our conversation then shifted towards Australian wildlife and fauna and the horrors residing within its diverse and complicated eco system. He told me about a plant not uncommonly referred to as the suicide plant. Dendrocnide moroides or more commonly known as stinging tree, stinging bush or gympie gympie apparently has such a nasty and painful sting it made a man commit suicide simply to escape the pain. Another dangerous inhabitant was the box jellyfish he explained.
Their sting was about as deadly as it gets. A single sting to a human will cause necrosis of the skin, excruciating pain and, if the dose of venom is large enough, cardiac arrest and death within minutes. I have always found jellyfish equal parts fascinating and equal parts frightening. Beautiful but deadly creatures. In fact, the ocean, in all its grand wide-reaching glory had always horrified me to some extent. So much unexplored space. Who truly knows what could be lurking down there? Robert quickly assured me, that as long as you take your precaution the likelihood of getting stung by a box jellyfish was rather small. They had signs up warning people against them. Generally, do not ignore these signs. They are there for a good reason.
It was getting late and before we said our goodbyes Robert suggested I meet him in Phuket, more precisely in the Khao Lak area on the 28^th as that was the first day he would be able to. I thought why not? He seemed genuinely nice and knowledgeable. Just good company all around and he promised to show me the greatest climbing spots a bit away from the crowded tours. It was a start.
I would never meet Robert again. I don’t know what happened to him. Thinking back on those days leading up to the point the waves came crashing down always gives me an uneasy, sad, and melancholic feeling. The people I met in Bangkok talking about going south. Those I met in Phuket before it happened. I have no idea if they ended up as corpses floating through the murky brown waters or god forbid, victims of that unholy terror from the deep. I hope Robert wasn’t among those unfortunate souls who died or went… ‘’Missing’’. Although if I must pick one or the other. I would hope he died quickly.
Bangkok 24^th of December 2000. 3 days before the tsunami.
I woke up with a slight hangover. Christmas is commonly celebrated on this date in my country, so I was expecting some calls to go through on my brick sized Nokia at some point once all the good folks back home woke up. They were about 5 hours behind me and at 9 AM Bangkok time they would still be sleeping. I used the time to do some shopping before my trip to Phuket. I got plenty of rope, a couple of snap hooks and a harness. I knew they’d have all of this on the guided tours, but I liked to find my own spots to climb, and I had good sense and knowledge enough to not attempt anything too daring. By the way. For those uninitiated, snap hooks are used to make a quick, reversible connection on a system of ropes, or to connect a rope or cord to another component, like a lanyard medallion or barrier post. Essential if you want to go climbing. If you’ve ever gone ziplining it’s the thing that connects you safely to the zipline and lets you slight across.
After having done my shopping, I bought a bus ticket to Phuket intending on leaving that same night and went back to my hotel room. As exciting as Bangkok was, I felt it was more for people intend on partying and in all honesty, a bit too crowded for me. I was excited to move on and I could always come back if I wanted to. On my way into the reception area, I was stopped by a young hip looking dude looking for a cigarette. Now I don’t necessarily consider myself a perfect judge of character, but he had an easy-going way about him that immediately drew me in. Sometimes, you can just tell.
He had sort of a rugged look about him. Dirty blond half-long hair. His face I would best describe as boyish but something in his eyes betrayed him and revealed his age to be older than you would assume. His style was… Boheme I guess I would describe it as. Like something taken out of the 70s LA scene. I’m not a smoker. Never was. So, I couldn’t help him on that front. It didn’t matter he would find someone else he said. For a while we just casually talked. Apparently, he had come to Bangkok just a few days prior and seemed about as lost and without direction as I had been before deciding on taking my chances in Phuket. Alex was his name, and he would later save my life and help me understand what it means to forge a quick and unbreakable connection through shared trauma, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
He asked me if I wanted to go somewhere and get a beer. I thought why not? He was about my age and on his own as well. I told him I had to go make some calls and I’d be out in about an hour. Back the hotel room I quickly gathered all my stuff and packed it up, so it was ready to go. My climbing gear took up the most space. I figured if things went well with Alex, I might be able to persuade him in joining me at some point in Phuket. Even though I had set out for this trip to be about discovering myself and being on my own, I longed for some kind of company. Don’t we all? I called my parents up and we wished each other a happy Christmas. It was odd to think they were somewhere nearly half-way across the world celebrating Christmas while snow draped the landscapes there. Here I was, In hot and humid paradise. No, I did not miss the cold or the snow, but I did miss not being there to celebrate the holidays with my family. But it had been my choice to go during the holiday season and I did not regret it. I had saved up enough money and there was no point in waiting anymore. There would be many other holidays to celebrate in the future.
My 5-year-old nephew somehow got a hold of the phone. Not quite the conversationalist yet, it still felt good to hear his voice. Hearing his excitement over the prospect of celebrating Christmas brought me back to my own childhood. Decorating the Christmas tree, watching holiday cartoons and of course, opening presents. I finished my calls and went out to see if Alex was ready. He was already waiting for me and had apparently managed to score some cigarettes in the meantime. He had changed his outfit as well. Now wearing a faded black doors t-shirt. We talked a bit about Jim Morrison and the doors as we headed off down streets. We passed a myriad of small stands selling everything from electronics to colorful t-shirts and small bracelets with campy misspelled English catchphrases. We dodged the many intrusive offers and eventually found a small comfy looking bar with seats outside shaded by palm trees. We ordered a couple of beers and the conversation started flowing along quite nicely. Alex was 25 and from London It turned out. We also had a common interest in music. For a while he had busked as a street musician while working odd jobs here and there and had eventually decided to travel the world.
His first stop had been India where for a while he had lived on the rooftop of some abandoned building while attempting to learn the art of playing the sitar. I thought about that for a second. Living it rough on some rooftop in India. I don’t know why that idea intrigued me so much. Seemed like freedom to me, I guess. Sleeping under the wide-open skies. Looking down on the streets and watching people go about their lives. I guess I just liked the idea of doing something that seemed different from what I had ever done before. Living on a rooftop, if even just for a while, was definitely not something I had done before. There was the view as well, Alex reminded me. And it was free of course. We drifted off into long conversations about music I won’t bore you too much with, only to let you know we shared a passion for old school music like the doors and Jimi Hendrix as well as 90s shoegaze music like My Bloody Valentine, Ride and Slowdive. I had Slowdive’s Shine playing in my mind that day. All felt so dreamy at the time.
I eventually told Alex of my plans to go to Phuket and he was onboard almost immediately. I loved how easy it was here on the road. There was no ‘’well maybe’’, or ‘’let’s think about it.’’ In fact, Alex had been to Phuket before and knew of a place we could stay for free. Another rooftop of course, but he had already sold me on the idea. From there, we could plan our next step he said. ‘’our next step’’ I don’t remember vibing with someone that quickly before or since, but then I guess making friends is always easier when you’re young and easy going. I always seemed to attract good company without much effort back then. I chalk it down to my friendly and slightly shy demeanor. Seems it only becomes harder to make friends as the years pass though. At least for me it did.
We got a bus ticket for Alex and shopped a bit more. I got some first aid supplies. Bandages, plasters, that kind of stuff. Rock climbing is safe, mind you, but you can end up scraping yourself and I felt in general, being prepared for whatever might be a good idea if I was to live it rough on some rooftop. The bus-ride to Phuket took about 12 hours give or take. By going at night, we could sleep most of the way and be in Phuket early morning on the 25^th. The trip down was uneventful. We would take turns listening to music on Alex’s Walkman or talk about things we saw along the way. Like roadside bars and restaurants who were little more than a tin roof covering a few plastic chairs and brightly colored menu cards. Everything seemed simpler here, in the best ways possible.
No big flash, no fanfares or luxury. Nothing pretentious. Just a calm, laid back atmosphere and friendly smiles from the locals as we passed by. Alex told me he wanted to start a band blending elements of Shoegaze with classic rock and insisted I learn to play the drums as he had tried but found no luck. String instruments were more him he told me. I told him jokingly if he could come up with a good name, I might be down. He just nodded and looked out the window and started talking about how beef was a rare and more expensive ingredient in Thai cuisine, and I wondered about the sudden random change of subject. Although we had talked a lot during the short time we had known each other, Alex was still a mystery to me in many ways. Judging from all the things he told me he seemed like a person who dreamed big, but never really followed through
An unfinished education. Scribbles on pieces of paper that ended up gathering dust in his drawer instead of turning into a book. A band that never really took off because he lost interest or didn’t deem that it was good enough to get successful. He talked at length about leaving a legacy. It seemed to be something that concerned him. I guess he wanted to put his mark on the world. To be remembered. To live on in some small way. I had never really thought about it myself although I did have a fascination with historical people and the lives they lived. In fact, when I do read I mostly read biographies. I just never had any ambition like that myself. I don’t need the world to know my name, or sing my praises, or remember me. Good friends, family and a sense of freedom and adventure was enough. I had tried to ask Alex about his family and friends back home, but he seemed avoidant and always found a way to change the subject without really providing any meaningful information. At certain points, I sensed a carefully hidden sadness behind his otherwise optimistically youthful and bright blue gaze.
Phuket 25^th of December 2000. 2 days before the tsunami.
Alex woke me up. It was 9 AM and we had arrived at the Phuket bus terminal 1 near Phang Nga Road. We were here. Alex explained to me that the there were several derelict and abandoned buildings perfect for establishing a free of charge rooftop domicile in an area not too far from the resorts of Khao Lak. Phuket back then wasn’t exactly the overcrowded tourist spot it is today, but it was well on the way. I understood why. The scenery was beautiful. Long sandy beaches with small island dots in the horizon, begging to be explored. Giant limestone cliffs covered in green shrubs. It did seem like paradise to me, without being too far away from civilization. I guess despite my adventurous nature, I wasn’t quite ready at that point, to walk into the wild, which is why Khao Lak seemed perfect as a start for me.
We found the area Alex had talked about. Several derelict buildings were concentrated in a small area divided by a main street that if followed long enough, led to an area with shops and places to dine. We set our eyes on what looked like an abandoned apartment complex. It was derelict, rugged looking and it seemed clear at first that no one lived there. Its ghostly façade begged us inside to explore and we accepted the invitation. As we made our way in, through a busted window in the back, we quickly became aware that the place might not be as abandoned as we had initially thought. Several signs of squatters such as cooking utensils and sleeping mats lay scattered here and there. Alex quickly rationalized that it could just be other backpackers, or it could be the people had moved on. I shrugged and we decided to make our way to the roof. We made our way to the top floor and accessed a broken-down door that led directly out onto the roof. I must admit, besides excitement, I was somewhat hesitant. Any doubt I had disappeared when we first stepped onto the rooftop terrace. It was perfect. It seemed it had functioned as a balcony or space of sorts the inhabitants could make use of for gatherings.
The entire space was surrounded by a fence. Several palm trees shaded the northwest corner which was perfect for when things got too hot. In the middle a small shed or janitorial sort of building stood. We found some cleaning materials, brooms, some parasols in there as well as an old rusty grill. The view was great. We could see the large beachfront in the far distance surrounded by limestones. After inspecting the area and finding it to our liking we sat down, and Alex broke out a bottle of whiskey. Unaware of the horror that would later unfold here, we celebrated in the shade of the palm trees. We had found our place for a while. Our place.
After a while we decided to put some money in the local economy and shop for supplies.
Essentials: Water. Cigarettes. Booze. The devil’s lettuce. Cooking utensils. Although none of us was admittedly any much of a cook. But what the hell. Can’t be seen dining out every night when we were trying to live off the fat of the land so to speak. I know, ridiculous. We were squatters. Nothing more. But heck, we would move on if we became a problem for any one here. We weren’t trying to be a bother.
Optional but greatly wanted: A blow-up animal mascot. Maybe a dolphin if possible. Some new music for Alex’s walk-man. A guitar. Decorating artifacts of any kind to make our domicile more personal.
We more or less got everything we needed and started setting up base. Getting our hands on something funny to smoke proved the biggest challenge but Alex finally succeeded at a beachfront bar. Some friendly Norwegian dude who had connections apparently. He warned us against being too open about doing drugs, even if was ‘’just’’ marijuana. Thailand had a strict approach to drugs. We thanked him and he told us to just come back here at the bar if we needed more, he was usually around.
Afternoon was rolling around and there we were. Sitting atop Phuket. On our very own rooftop presidential suite. We decorated the place with a few things we found. Among them ‘’Arthur’’ our blow-up shark (they had no dolphins). Alex had come up with the name, I asked him why ‘’Arthur’’ but in what I had quickly come to know as typical Alex fashion he just shrugged it off. We just smoked a bit and drank some booze as the evening progressed and I told Alex about Robert and Australia and all the nasty things that could kill you there. I’m not sure why, but it had made an impression on me. Insects, rare poisonous creatures, stuff like that was nightmare fuel for me. Don’t even get me started on spiders. Alex was a bit more laid back on that front. He seemed most amused and interested in the suicide plant and wondered if some poor soul had ever mistakenly used it as toilet paper and we had a good hard chuckle over that idea. Poor soul indeed.
As night rolled on stars started popping up on a clear night the sky and I learned that Alex had a fascination with the universe. Particularly the idea of multiverses and infinite universes. What if somewhere out there we were looking back at ourselves. Slightly different but still us. Sometimes it seemed to me he longed to be anywhere else but where he was. Maybe trapped in the past he was so reluctant to share with me. Then we started talking about time. I don’t exactly remember why. I think he brought it up.
Anyway, Alex had a lot to say about time. Like how he believed our perception of time is tied to our experiences. For example, someone who spends their life not stepping up, not really taking risks or chances, just following along the stream, just following the routine, in essence, just killing time, might experience time as having moved fast when they look back, because there are simply less variety, less volume, less memories to look back on. We don’t remember routines, we remember breaking them, we remember doing new things, meeting new people, being in new places. It creates the illusion that gives time volume, that makes it seem fuller, longer. I liked that idea a lot. It made sense to me. Make sure you live life to the fullest and waste as little time as possible.
I told him about my 10^th grade math teacher and how he said something about time I will never forget. Our perception of time can be measured mathematically. For example, to a 4-year-old turning 5 the transition of a year will seem much longer than it will to a 24-year-old turning 25. Because 1 in 5 is a larger fraction than 1 in 25. It blew my mind. The longer you live, the faster time seem to pass. But I agreed with him, maybe the quality and variety of the life you live and the memories you make has an affect too. Alex made a ‘’boom’’ motion with his hands around his head and laughed. We were quite stoned at that point and well, some of you might know how being stoned sometimes throws you into these philosophical conversations. It was nice. I enjoyed the ease with which I could talk to Alex about all kinds of things.
At one point I asked him a hypothetical. If he could go back in time and change just one thing, what would he do. He fell silent. I once again sensed the sadness creeping behind his eyes. It was if he was about to answer, like he was sizing me up but then shot the idea down. Time travel is impossible, so why bother was his only response and I accepted that whatever troubled him in the past, was not for me to know even if my interest only grew stronger and stronger.
I told him about my family. My overprotective mother. My father and his desperate attempts to get me interested in cars. About my older sister and my nephew. Alex nodded and asked the usual polite questions. When the subject came to my little brother his interest seemed to spark significantly. How old was he? Was I good older brother? Did I look out for him? I didn’t think much about it at the time other than finding it curious how interested he seemed to be. When we finally settled in the for night, under the starry sky, I slipped into a nightmare. It was the same I had had years earlier when I was 16. Back then I was having a hard time adjusting to the new school I had started at and maybe because of that stress I was having nightmares coupled with sleep paralysis.
I would lie in my bed, paralyzed. On my side, facing the door to my room. I often had the light on outside of the room and it would shine in through the open door. This one time , I saw dark figure approaching. Optimistically I assumed it was my mom, coming to wake me up. Although as the dark figure approached, I quickly realized this wasn’t so. No words were uttered. The eerie figure just slowly came closer, until it was right by my bed side. It sat down and I realized it was an old woman or man. It was hard to tell, because its face was literally just a mish mash of wrinkled flesh. No eyes and no mouth either. But it mumbled through its mouthless face. Speaking in tongues.
I spent some considerable time afterwards wondering what it could have been trying to communicate to me. I know of course, this was all just my mind playing tricks on me. Yet, that experience was, I suppose, my first nudge towards believing there’s more between heaven and earth than we might know. It seemed aggressive in any case. My insides were screaming as I desperately tried to wiggle myself awake as I had sometimes successfully done during paralysis. I eventually woke up. Drenched in sweat. Back then though, I had actually been in my room, and in the dream the room had stood clearly for me as it actually looked in reality which only made it seem more real. This time, I woke up next to Alex, still drenched in sweat. Alex had woken up. I had screamed in my sleep apparently. He comforted me in an almost brotherly show of affection. It took me by surprise a bit. I appreciated it, though it only made me wonder about him even more. I would have to solve the mystery behind Alex I decided. I would have to truly gain his trust. Figure him out. And I did.
Phuket 26^th of December 2000. 1 day before the tsunami.
‘’Alex played the guitar a bit and I drummed up some beats. It needed some work, but not half bad. We came up with a name for our band to be as well. Subway sleepers. Based on Alex’s time sleeping in the subway of London. It was another hot perfect day on the rooftop. We talked about going climbing the next day and I can’t wait to show Alex the joys of rock climbing. Everything is peaceful here. No stress. Just living life. Smoking it up. Meeting new people. We talked some more with that Norwegian weed dude and invited him and a couple of his friends up to ‘’our’’ place for a party. Another near perfect day.’’
Looking at these diary scribbles is making me feel it all over again. The serenity of those calm worriless summer days (well it was winter back home but it felt like summer here. Strange that) leading up to disaster. Always calmest before the storm they say. This was our last day before everything changed. Before I got a lesson in humanity. In stress under crisis. Before everything I thought I knew changed forever in the meeting with something that surely shouldn’t exist in this world.

hello all, as the title suggests, i an looking for some advice on helping cut back on my weed consumption, as it’s gotten to the point where I am starting to get concerned.
For context, i’ve been smoking infrequently since i was about 14,then once i turned 16 i started smoking more regularly. Before I turned 16 my mom was heavily against me smoking weed but was also an avid smoker herself, leading to me sneaking some of her weed out or buying weed with the money she gave me for food. this was only on days where I knew i wouldn’t have to interact with her, because I knew she would be mad if she found out. Once I turned 16 however, my mom completely flipped a switch and went from forbidding me from smoking to straight up supplying it to me, giving me 7 grams a week. This constant stream of weed combined with no one telling me to stop anymore led to me smoking multiple times a day. I know that the issue also isn’t going to resolve itself, as i’ve noticed that I’ve been going through the normal amount of weed i smoke faster and faster, and it takes multiple bowls to get the same effect. I smoke right when i wake up to right before I go to bed, as I literally cannot sleep without it. I understand that this is an addiction, and i also understand how weed is kind of a silly addiction to have (yes i have seen the bob saget skit, “you ever such dick for weed?”)
i am starting to see how this addiction is effecting almost every spect of my life. no matter how much sleep i get , im always tired. the same hobbies that used to excite me now leave me bored, and my sexual libido is almost none existent. I also fear this his having an effect on my girlfriend, as she lives with me and went from not smoking at all to smoking multiple times a day like me . my biggest fear is knowing that i’m actively helping her form the addiction that has me in such a chokehold.
I guess what I’m asking for is someone who has been in my situation and understands how it feels that was able to conquer their addiction to give me some advice on how to conquer mine.

I’m California Sober, which means I don’t drink but I do smoke weed. My girlfriend is Montana Sober, which means she doesn’t drink but she’ll do Meth.
My girlfriend is from Montana, that is true. She’s my soulmate. I didn’t believe in soulmates until my girlfriend convinced me … that she would leave if I didn’t start saying it.
It’s weird saying my soulmate is from Montana. Like that’s never going to be my fun fact. My soulmate is from Montana. If I heard someone say that their soulmate is from Montana I’d be like … do you like fucking Bison?
My girlfriend asked me I’ve ever been to Montana and I was like … well I think no … seeing as I haven’t been lynched yet.
No, but in Montana she’s not like the other Montanas. Like my girlfriend is vegetarian, which is weird because out there they only eat barbeque. And I’m like what’d you do out there? Graze grass? With the Bison?

Hi. I'm a 25 year old person and I just wanted a safe space to share something personal that happened to me when I was about 18-19 years old. I could find the date it happened... but doing this would mean going to look through a lot of old memories. It's a good thing and also a bad thing. When it happened, one person new about what really happened and another person thought it was something else completely. I didn't think too much about it when it happened but my body body did in fact remember. I use to get full body tremors something. Like my entire body would get tense and it would force itself to shake off all the tension. Afterwards I would just feel tired. As I have gotten older, I began telling some people close to me. My reaction doesn't change at all all these years later. Sometime I think that it was my fault. Sometimes I think that that person should not have done that and I wasn't my fault. Sometimes I think, in comparison, it wasn't a big deal. But it is regardless. It was just something that happen to me.
Anyway, here is what happened. I'll start with some context first. I was always alone. I didn't really have anyone. All I have was my eldest half sister and her husband and I did almost everything with them (more him than her because she was always working). I started living with them right out of secondary school all the way to university. When I got to university, I got mixed up with a person I shouldn't have and he got very angry with me saying that he tried to guide me to be better since my parents were a waste of time. He would get really mad about it because I would talk about how I was feeling (naivety and all) and he would just say that I was stupid to put it lightly. That was the dynamic of the household at this point in time. Him being stressed about his other life things going on, plus being mad at me (especially since I didn't want to hear good reason, which if he wasn't so mean at that time I might have listened to but honestly I don't think I might have). He would curse some times, be mean, make me feel paranoid about anywhere I was (this paranoia existed before and disappeared when I left home but then came back at a point when I started living with them). I wasn't right in this either, I just kept making mistakes, and they didn't trust me.
Another point of context is that I have always had problems with my body since I was young. For this story, the problem was in my private area (I'm a girl fyi) and there was no one to talk to about it at this time and I always ended up hurt myself. I even have tears on my labia from how much I hurt myself.
So when I started getting an allowance from my parents for university and because I'm an impulsive person as well, decided to go to the doctor. I remembered taking a bus to get to school and seeing a gynecologist office. I've known it was there ever since but I just kept it in the back of my mind for a long time. I was done having all these problems so I just went. It was relatively far walk from where I use to live as well. I can't remember why I didn't take a bus but I didn't. I went in and spoke to the receptionist. She told me that the docter wasn't in office yet and I could wait for him to arrive. So I waited. When I got called into his office I was really really really scared. But I was already stuck being there so I couldn't leave . He asked me if I had a boyfriend. And I told him that I did. He asked if I have sex. (This was my long distance person) I said no. I can't remember all the old things he asked. Afterwards, he told me to go in the back room to do the ultra sound and to take off my pants. So I did. He came in the room and did a check up on my breast (over my clothes) and said then said something along the lines of "I can do the ultra sound on your stomach but I can get a better......" At this point in time, I was on a table with a man with my legs spread and I was alone. I was flustered and didn't really understand what he was telling me but I just agreed. I agreed without thing. Fuck I wished I was thinking. He did whatever he was doing and then insert a probe inside of me. It hurt. It hurt so much and he was just talking like it was a normal thing. To me, I was just trying not too move too much and flinch from the pain I was getting. When he was done, he told me to put my clothes back on and left the room. I went in the bathroom and saw that I was bleeding. I was so startled and scared by this and put on a pad that was there in the room and told him that I was bleeding. I can't remember his reaction but he just said to come sit by the table and said nothing was wrong with me. I asked about things like if my discharge was normal and he said it was fine. He gave me my ultrasound, appointment card and sent me to pay. It took all of my savings to say the least. It was raining when I was walking home. I stopped at a fast food restaurant and waited until the rain stopped. I looked at the ultrasound while I was there and called my friend and showed him. He looked at it and said something along the lines of you don't look pregnant. At some point I made it home and hid away all the things and went on with my day. I can't remember my feelings honestly. I was already going through some other things and this was just one of my many mistakes at that point in my life. Maybe that same day, her husband when looking in my room looking for none existent drugs because he saw charcoal tablets in my room. I didn't do any drugs. Maybe I smoked some weed (once in a blue moon) and smoke cigarettes all because of stress but nothing else. He found the ultrasound and appointment card and called the place. When I got back to the house I remember being confronted about something but I can't really remember what happened. I've blocked out a lot of things that happened back then. I went home for that weekend (I never went home on weekends before and when things started happening I started going home) and I received a missed call from a number I didn't know and a voice-mail. I listed to the voice mail and it was the docter. He called me back and said that I should come back to his office and that a concerned family member called. I called my friend and told him and we had a good laugh about it. I was confronted about it at some point in time by him. I only realized that he went through my things because certain things were not put back in place in my diary. When I remember when he confronted me, I asked if he did look though my drawers. I can't remember if he lied or not but I remember the conversation being that I noticed that something was not put back in place in my dairy and he said he usually does but it pack in place but didn't this time. I feel like I could put more but it would be too much. It all happened such a long time ago and I should just move on but honestly I'm still so angry about a lot of things. It's hard for me to get over. This is just one of them. Sometimes I even wonder that when I do find someone, how do I even explain this. That I'm still a virgin but my hymen was broken by a gynecologist or should I just lie and say I've had sex before and just fake it. If I say the truth would my person even want me? All I can say is that I'm trying. Good enough for me.

Hi everyone!
I’m hoping some of you will be able to give me some advice or share your experiences with me.
I’ll be 29 in a couple of weeks and I’m in some sort of pain all the time. I’m 5’ 1” and about 185lbs. I’m not the healthiest eater but not terrible either. I’m not super active with exercise but I do walk around at work even though I have a desk job. I have had a history of issues that I see a chiropractor for some of which are a tilted pelvis and ribs that like to pop out of where they’re supposed to be.
I’m on vacation and yesterday I was walking around with my husband and my feet, my ankles, my hips, my lower back, and my upper back all hurt so bad. I didn’t even do 10,000 steps. The other day my wrist hurt to put weight on for no apparent reason but is better now. Sometimes I walk down the stairs at work and get shooting pain in my ankles for a couple minutes. Sometimes my back will start to hurt just from taking my dog out to pee. When in doubt, something hurts.
My chiropractor does want me to get into some rehab and physical therapy but I’d have to go three times a week and it’s only available during my work hours so I can’t. I’m sure it would be helpful though.
I also get migraines and have stomach problems.
Does anyone have any other ideas or anything I should talk to my doctor about specifically? I’m way too young to be in this much pain all the time.
Thanks! 🙏🏻

Some background to the situation
We met last year around this time, i got pregnant a month into the relationship and didn’t know him very well. I moved him in with me because he had a shoulder injury and then i became pregnant and couldn’t work due to being sick from 8:00am-7pm meaning he would have to get a job and he didn’t until we almost lost my house. As soon as I got pregnant he was very different and definitely not the same guy I got with. 7 months later he came home drunk and I was upset that he drove himself home because he clearly was messed up, the argument got worse and he started acting strange so I left for me and my unborn child’s safety and he chased after my car, ripped my door handle off, climbed up the back and began smashing my front windshield in trying to get to me. After the fact I did stay because him and his family convinced me I was a bad person if I didn’t keep our family together. Fast forward to now, our baby is 3 months old and from the day we brought him home he’s been nothing but irresponsible with his money ( $2000 spent on weed and food in one month paying 0 bills at my parents house) would forget to feed our son, would fall asleep and id come home hours later and our son and him were still in the same spot I left them in. 5 days after he was born he chased after some stranger because his mother thought they stole her car our son was in the car during this. But the main reason I was sole custody or at least supervised visits for him is because since I’ve gone back to work and he’s the one watching him I’ve come back to our son with popped blood vessels and bruises. My parents said that they’ve heard muffling sounds and just odd things coming from our room when I’m not there. I do nails so I was only gone for 3 hours at a time, other than that I was always with our son. He denied the bruises and popped blood vessels coming from him to cps. I guess my question is aitah for keeping his kid from him? I genuinely do believe that he is a danger to our son intentionally or not.

Was gifted the 60 volt weed eater last week. I am in need of a battery. Have been looking at other tools to buy as a combo . Maybe the 18inch chainsaw. Does any one have any links to any good deals including a 60 volt battery. TIA..

Just a little bit of a back story. I have been sick for the past year and half. My blood levels have been low and the drs don’t know what the cause is, is it it an iron deficiency or something worse. So they began doing a series of infusion treatments on me to see if my blood levels would rise. While this has been going on I was still working but thankfully my employer was understanding and said whenever I needed to go rest just make up the time where I could. I am a contingent employee under contract so I have no pto or sick time. So I cant necessarily miss because I need the money to help support my spouse and children. I also home school one of my children.
During this time because I have not been performing in the bedroom with my spouse because I have been sick and exhausted. It is not like I didn’t want I just physical could not. This past Christmas while I was working I sent a Text to my husband just telling him thanks for taking to me the dr the other day. He responds with I want a divorce. He then proceeds to tell me I am soul eater that I am drag him down and now that he has lost weight he wants to explore more options with his body that couldn’t before and I am not giving him sex everyday like I use to. He asked me for an open relationship. I said this is not a conversation to have via text come home. At that point I was worked up at my desk while working and not feeling the best.
He comes home and completely avoids me. I tried engaging in conversation everything but he went straight to his computer ignoring me. The next morning I woke up and tried engaging in conversation again he ignored me until later that evening. during the conversation he began a by saying he wants to leave because he doesn’t believe I respect him or appreciation him and he doesn’t feel in control of the relationship further more me being sick is exhausting and the children we adopted do not respect him either.
I sat their in a daze because something was not sitting right with me. I asked if there was someone else he initially said no but then I said you’re lying and he confessed he was talking with his ex and that they had been sexting. He said it wasn’t affair because it was not physical however in our first year of marriage he sexted someone and I sat the boundary that it was not ok! Fast forward 10 years he did it again.
On Christmas he decided to leave.. imagine having to tell the 2 kids you just adopted on Christmas it wasn’t their fault because they were blaming themselves due to the comment he made as he was leaving he stated “don’t let your mom get in your head like my mom did when she divorced my dad…” what why would say that! I explained to the kids that we were just in a rough spot and no matter what happens we love them unconditionally and nothing is their fault because our younger son was saying if him and his brother didn’t come in the picture none of this would happen. Worse day of my life especially. The next day he messaged and asked if we were going to his moms to celebrate Christmas and that k got what I wanted he had to sleep in a parking lot. I told him not to sleep in a parking lot and for the sake of the kids come home. But if he were to come home this thing with ex had to stop. The only reason it began because I wasn’t given him attention and she is going through a divorce and gave him everything he needed that she was better than me in all aspects. I sat there and cried. He the canceled my health insurance.
He came home and I went to the bedroom to sleep he texted me and said o you can’t come out here now that I came home. I go outside the room to talk to him and he told me I needed to speak to a therapist that I am crazy and a narcissist. That he is going to stay.
I began speaking with a therapist paying out of pocket and told her everything that occurred and what he had said and done and what I have said and done and that I was really nervous about being a narcissist and if I were a narcissist. After speaking with her for a moments she told me I wasn’t a narcissist but I do suffer narcissistic victim syndrome and that I live with my narcissist. I told her I was having a hard time with forgiveness with the other girl because if she was going through a divorce because her spouse cheated why would she do that to another person. The therapist was to ask her.
So I took her advice and I sent the message. She responded. We had a completely adult conversation she stated she begged my husband not to cheat but he led her to believe we were in an open marriage. She reassured me going for she would not be a bother anymore and I thanked her.
Fast forward a couple of days I get a follow on my instagram from a girl I use to work with. I have spoken with this person in years but i remembered her because she was so nice. So I sent her a private message that literally just said hello how are you? She responded as if I was trying to get intel out of her regarding my spouse and was so nasty. I sat there crying not understanding why this person was so mean and spouse what is it. I said this girl we worked followed me and I sent her message saying hello and she goes off about you what the hell are you telling me people. He said nothing I am not telling anybody anything.
So I messaged her back to shut the conversation down and showed the screen shot of where she followed me and I wasn’t even following her. I told her not to make up lies about my husband then she sends me a screenshot of her and my husband convo he had villianized me to her. I thanked her for the message and blocked her. I fwd a screen shot of the message to his phone and set in silence. He responded “Yeah? And? Be sure to bring that up to your therapist too. Way to send us a whole step backwards because you can't talk to me like an adult. I lied about not knowing because I wanted to see how far you would take it.”
The goodness out of all this is I am no longer a contingent and next month will have health insurance again to start back my infusions treatments to determine why my blood levels are low fingers crossed it is an iron deficiency.
Am I the asshole for wanting a divorce?

I started vaping when I was 16 for about 6 months (February to August 2020) and quit because my dad caught me. I didn’t touch a vape or anything for about a year but then got in this shitty relationship and picked it up again (late 2021), thats very complicated Im not going to go to far into it but I know I only have myself to blame, I could’ve not gone and got one but did. Anyway a year later I broke up with that girl and went on a year long weed binge but eventually stopped to start my current job (May of last year) but kept on vaping. I never like it, I hated hiding it. Recently I started dating this new girl and I told her I vape and that I hate it. She asked me why I don’t do it in front of her and I said that I don’t want her to go through what I’m doing. Eventually I was at work thinking (I have 50 hours a week to think) and realized, I don’t want to lie to her or hide anything from her so decided that it was time to quit. I couldn’t quit cold turkey so I bought patches and this is what I did; day one hit the vape every 4 hours with the patch, day two hit before and after work, day three only hit it in the morning and threw it away for good. Then there was a week of chest pains, surprisingly no mood swings but a bit of irritability. Anyway Im 6 weeks in and starting step 3 of the patches tomorrow and I feel pretty good, Im very proud of myself. If anyone wants to quit but not quit cold turkey, I recommend patches but we are different people so that might not work for you. I got the Sefudun ones off of Amazon. Im willing to answer any questions below, sorry if my writing is incoherent. And to my fellow quitters, I wish you luck on your journey, a lot of you been/were vaping way longer than me but remember you are strong keep going, it only gets better.

Hello this might be bit long i hope i can find some help here , sorry for my bad english. I am 22 yo male i have done sports (rugby and weight training) in the past , 4 times a week for a 1.5 - 2 years , i had a high sex drive if you count jerking off everyday in shower . Then I changed countries with an exchange program .After few weeks i get into a depression stopped any kind of training ,stopped eating ,stopped going school, did not leaved my room, got drunk couple times a week alone in my room, lost weight .I was in a bad situation for like a at least 2-3 months untill i met my first ever romantic/sexual partner . I think am Bisexual but i mostly like feminen bodys , most porn i watched was trans girls . My partner is trans guy (has vagina). First time we tried i was high on weed and i couldnt peneterate , i tought being high (my first time) or condom might be the problem , everytime i put on a condom i lost my erection we tried multiple times and i wasted like 5-6 condoms . Another time we tried condomless, i was getting hard but we run out of time and so i couldnt try to peneterate . At that point i was pretty sure that my problem was the weed or the condom . We hadnt seen each other for a week and i tried to masturbate , it was still hard for me to get hard it was worrying .I had never had problems like this before and my cum looked very watery not thick . Even my partner is very very good person and supportive its very demoralizing for me , i remember getting hard just by thinking and i now couldnt get hard while i had a watery vagina on top of me . I tought my trans porn addiction , weed or condom might be the problem but i dont think they explain my watery not thick cum . I also have very low motivation, low drive and smaller pair of balls if i dont make things up . Now i think my T levels dropped hard .I started going out and exercising again , eating good . Anyone has a similar experience or any comments about my situation that can help me or help me to understand it ? How long it would take me up for me to boost my T levels up ? Any comments would be helpful

Last night i smoked some weed and my lungs and heart started feeling like they were ripping apart and it hurt so bad i also could barely breathe and i thought i was gonna die. I ended up not going to the hospital and going to sleep. Should i go or am i fine

I bought the CSM chosen, terminators and the combat patrol with the dark apostle and disciples, legionnaires, havocs and a hellbrute. I bought these as a 3rd army playing sisters as my main and Drukhari as another so I have no clue actually how to build an army, just thought all chaos space marines were kinda cool.
Originally, I was looking at the Black Legion because of Abaddon, but have watched a few battle reports on World Eaters and really love the models and lore. Although I’m still a little undecided I wanted to know if I had options to use these for World Eaters or not. Thanks in advance!