Nice words to your boyfriend for good morning

Nice Girls

2011.09.16 11:50 anella Nice Girls

/nicegirls Like /niceguys but different
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2009.02.06 06:07 Etymology: appreciating word origins

Discussing the origins of words and phrases, in English or any other language.
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2019.08.11 17:11 sidchan_7 Place to post dank Indian shit

wellcum normies
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2024.05.19 13:27 Defiant-Ad-4104 AITA for wanting to be complimented more?

this is honestly more of a rant than anything, but it’d be nice to see what other people think.
so I (20F) grew up as a tomboy so I never really cared about how I looked. I got some compliments just bc of my features (blonde hair and colored eyes while being half black, typical mixed kid stuff) which was always great to hear ofc, but I really paid no mind to it bc it just complimented things i put no work into, not something I really tried for. not sure if that makes sense lol but yeah.
I started college 2 years ago and like a lot of young adults had a huge makeover change. part was me trying makeup and doing my hair and the rest was honestly just puberty doing its thing lol. I do get compliments in public and i like them a lot, it makes me feel good and noticed for effort i put into how i look. it also just gives me the extra reassurance i sometimes need throughout the day. i also made a lot of friends. I love them all and they’re all very sweet and kind, but I noticed that they never really compliment me? which is fine they don’t have to but the thing is we’re ALWAYS complimenting each other. when we see each other it’s pretty normal for one person to say “wow your outfit looks great today” or “i love your makeup”. just nice things to say to a friend. but I never seem to get those. the worst part is I’ll be standing with another one of my friends and they’ll all compliment each other and leave me out of it. honestly it started to hurt my feelings and make me feel a little insecure about myself. one of my love languages is words of affirmation so i’m constantly telling them how lovely they all look just to never receive anything back. i’m confident in my looks and don’t really need them to reaffirm it for me, but it would be nice sometimes you know? i didn’t mention it though until one night with my best friend.
i just told her honestly how i felt and she said that she noticed it too. she gives me compliments often (and i her) because we’ve known each other since high school and she knows how much the little things like that mean to me. when i asked her if maybe they don’t like me or if i just don’t look good to them she told me that it’s because they think i don’t need compliments because im already confident in myself. i was kind of dumbfounded by this and feel a little confused. i’m not the only one who’s outwardly confident in themselves in the friend group but im the only one who doesn’t get any compliments. it’s not like i put them down at all either, rather i just don’t talk about my looks at all especially because they never say anything about them. the most i’ve gotten is one time we all were walking in town together and some guys in a truck catcalled us. they all just said “they must’ve been calling us because of (me)”. that’s the only time they’ve mentioned how i look really at all since the first time we’ve met.
i guess im just wondering if ITA for being a little let down by this? i dont see how me feeling confident takes away from me liking to hear something as simple as “you look nice today” from a friend because their opinion matters more to me than a strangers. any tips you might have on what i could do to fix this too would be great.
submitted by Defiant-Ad-4104 to AITAH [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:27 MindAndBodyblown Found my boyfriend’s sex chat history

This morning my bf (28) and I (27) were in bed discussing about something we saw on the news. We decided to gather more info so he opened his cellphone and opened Google Chrome browser.
Obviously I was looking, and as soon as he tapped on the search bar the 3-4th result in the history was “gay chat rooms”.
I froze because I didn’t know how to react. After a while, he saw the sudden change in my behaviour and inquired about it. I told him immediately very calmly that I saw the history and wanted to know if he had used it recently, or if it was his kink to get off with sexting with strangers or something like that. He scrolled the history to show me there was nothing but then I insisted. At the end, he told me very seriously that it was a history search of before we got together (we have been together for 3 months).
Again, I told him that I trusted him because otherwise there was no point in our relationship if trust was not present. However I solicited him to tell me if it was something he wanted to explore, if it was a kink. I also told him “ok, maybe I was too direct but if in 2-3 days you want to get back to me and tell me it was actually recent, I won’t be mad”. Again, he reassured me it was an old thing - no matter how strange it looked that it appeared almost on the top of the bar.
He is very attentive and sweet, there were never any episodes apart from this where I felt something was off and he is always the first to initiate communication and he even suggested that if anything is going wrong or that if I want to explore something sexually, he would support me.
He has been in 3 relationships, one of which was poliamorous, I’ve only been with one guy for almost 7 years and broke up a little bit less than 1 year ago. We were exclusive. I want this one to be good because apart from this episode this guy has shown me and proved only good things.
I know I might have appeared insecure and I have many things to work on, however I wanted to know if it was ok for me to discuss it immediately or if I should discuss it (and many other things) more in the future. What’s your take on this?
submitted by MindAndBodyblown to askgaybros [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:26 Stage-Piercing727 Best Case Hawkbill Knife

Best Case Hawkbill Knife

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Hold onto your hat, folks! Today we're delving into a world of sharp edges and sleek design: the Case Hawkbill Knife. Don't miss out on this thrilling adventure, as we explore the finer points of this versatile blade and its place in the grand tapestry of cutlery. Get ready to fold and unfold the Case Hawkbill Knife in all its glory!

The Top 19 Best Case Hawkbill Knife

  1. Tru-Sharp Stainless Pocket Trimmer with Blue Bone Handle - Experience unmatched durability and versatility with the Blue Bone Trapper, featuring Tru-Sharp Stainless Steel blades and a vibrant orange synthetic handle for everyday outdoor projects.
  2. Handcrafted Carbon Steel Knife with Dark Red Bone Handle - The Case XX USA - Small Congress Dark Red Bone CA31949 Carbon Steel is a stunning, handcrafted knife featuring dark red jigged bone handles and carbon steel bolsters, making it a high-quality and versatile choice for everyday needs.
  3. Beautiful Navy Blue Bone Stockman Pocket Knife - Experience the ultimate blend of style and performance with Case Medium Navy Blue Bone Stockman Pocket, a meticulously handcrafted knife boasting a jigged bone handle and Tru-Sharp SS blade, achieving a 4.7-star rating from 32 reviews.
  4. Yellow Mini Trapper Pocket Knife for Kids - CASE 029 Mini Trapper Pocket Knife: A versatile and durable yellow-handled knife with two blades, perfect for outdoor enthusiasts and trappers, making it a must-have in the CASE line.
  5. Old Red Bone Case Hawkbill Knife for Everyday Use - Discover the ultimate versatility and durability of the Case Trapper Pocket Worn Old Red Bone Knife, perfect for small game trapping and your daily needs, with its long-lasting Tru-Sharp stainless steel blades and jigged bone handle crafted in the USA.
  6. Amber Jigged Bone Stockman Amber Bone Knife with CV-Carbon Steel Blades - The Case Large Stockman Amber Bone is a versatile and durable pocket knife, featuring three essential blades for everyday tasks, crafted from premium, long-lasting chrome vanadium steel, while combining beauty and functionality for ultimate satisfaction.
  7. Stained Glass Trapper Folding Knife with Natural Bone Handle - Experience the beauty of stained glass and functionality of a Trapper with the 5.0 rated Case 38714 Trapper Stained Glass Wings Folding Knife, crafted in the USA and featuring Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel for superior durability.
  8. Handcrafted Gray Bone Case SM Congress Jigged Bone Pocket Knife - Experience the perfect blend of craftsmanship and tradition with the Case XX 58422 SM Congress Pocket Worn Gray, featuring a handcrafted carbon steel handle, a versatile sheepsfoot blade, and a pen blade, all in a compact and durable design.
  9. Premium Aesthetic Case Aquarius Corelon Trapper Knife - Experience the superior craftsmanship and exceptional durability of the Case Cutlery 9254AQ Aquarius Corelon Trapper with Tru-Sharp surgical steel blades and handle design options in blue and green.
  10. Case 50954 Iraqi Freedom Knife: Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel and Natural Bone Handle - Experience the premium craftsmanship of the Case 50954 Iraqi Freedom Hawkbill Knife, featuring a Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel blade, Natural Bone handle, and an intricate 6254 SS pattern, all proudly handcrafted in the U.S.A.
  11. Antique Bone Handle Hawkbill Pocket Knife - Experience the timeless allure of the Case 52832 Antique Trapper with its jigged bone handle and Tru-Sharp stainless steel blade, offering a perfect blend of elegance and durability.
  12. Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel Hawkbill Knife with Blue Bone Handle - Experience the luxury of a handcrafted, surgical-grade stainless steel knife with a blue bone handle from Case XX, now available in a small Congress design.
  13. Case XX Trapper Knife: High-Quality, Custom-Made in the USA - The Case XX Mulberry Synthetic 4254 Trapper, an American-made trapping knife, boasts a Tru-Sharp stainless steel blade, mulberry smooth synthetic handle, and nickel silver bolster, providing durability and precision for all your trapping needs.
  14. American-Made Mini Trapper Pocket Knife for USAF Enthusiasts - Crafted in the USA, the Case 32402 U.S. Air Force Mini Trapper features Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel and a Navy Blue Synthetic Handle, making it a reliable and durable choice for everyday use.
  15. Premium Amber Bone Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel Hawkbill Knife - Experience the perfect everyday pocket knife with the Case Amber Bone Peanut, featuring Tru-Sharp surgical stainless steel blades and a peach seed jig amber bone handle.
  16. Case Crandall Gray Pocket Trapper Knife - Chrome Vanadium Steel Blade - Discover the versatility of the Case XX 58410 Trapper Crandall Gray, a dependable folding knife for trappers with its jigged bone handle and Chrome Vanadium blades, offering reliable edge-holding and easy re-sharpening.
  17. Premium Hand-Crafted Case AQ Aquarius Trapper Knife - Crafted with precision and craftsmanship, the Case Hawkbill Knife is a reliable and durable outdoor tool for everyday use, perfect for hunting, camping, and all your adventures.
  18. Premium Hand-Crafted Corelon Ablone Hawkbill Knife - The Case Hawkbill Knife, a true work of art by skilled US artisans, boasts premium construction, versatile blades, and stunning abalone corelon handles, making it a reliable, stylish, and functional choice for any cutting task.
  19. Patriotic American Hawkbill Pocket Knife - Celebrate the values, history, and spirit of America with the Case Trapper Star Spangled Pocket Knife, featuring mirror-polished Tru-Sharp surgical stainless steel blades and natural bone handles.
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Reviews

🔗Tru-Sharp Stainless Pocket Trimmer with Blue Bone Handle


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Recently, I came across a Case Knife Blue Bone Trapper, and I must say it's a gem. The vibrant orange synthetic handle made it easy to locate when I was outdoors, especially on my hunting trips. The clip and spey blades were incredibly versatile, making it an all-around useful tool for my projects around the house, outdoors, and hunting.
One of the standout features was the Tru-Sharp Stainless Steel blades, which held their edge much longer than conventional steel. Plus, the extraordinary blade strength and corrosion resistance added to the durability of this folding knife. It served as a great everyday pocket knife for me, and I found myself reaching for it often.
However, I did notice that the knife's closed length was slightly larger than I would have preferred for pocket carry. Also, the non-locking slip joint lock felt less secure compared to locking mechanisms. Despite these minor drawbacks, the Case Knife Blue Bone Trapper proved to be a reliable and beautiful addition to my collection.

🔗Handcrafted Carbon Steel Knife with Dark Red Bone Handle


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I recently had the chance to use the Case XX USA - Small Congress Dark Red Bone CA31949 Carbon Steel knife in my daily life. The first thing that stood out to me was the carbon steel blade, which offered a sharp and sturdy cutting surface. The Dark Red Bone handle provided a comfortable and solid grip, perfect for various tasks.
One of the most impressive features of this knife was its handcrafted design, showcasing the artistry and attention to detail of the U. S. A. -based craftsmen who created it. The carbon steel sheepsfoot blade and pen blades were mirror finish, giving the knife an elegant and unique look. However, it's worth mentioning that the knife is not lightweight, as it weighs 1.2 oz.
While using it, I also noticed the nickel silver bolster(s) and the inlay shield, adding a touch of sophistication to this functional tool. The boxed packaging was an added bonus, making it a great gift for someone special.
Overall, I found this Case XX USA - Small Congress Dark Red Bone CA31949 Carbon Steel knife to be a high-quality and reliable tool. Its distinctive design and solid construction make it a worthwhile investment for those who value craftsmanship and durability in their cutting instruments.

🔗Beautiful Navy Blue Bone Stockman Pocket Knife


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I recently tried out the Navy Blue Bone Stockman Pocket Knife, and I must say, I was impressed. From the moment I took it out of the package, the quality was apparent. The handle, made of jigged bone with a Tru-Sharp SS blade, felt comfortable in my hand, and the blue color added a nice touch to its appearance.
One of the best features of this knife is its versatility. The 6.5 cm blade is just the right length for everyday tasks and can easily be carried in my pocket. The weight, at 65 grams, is also perfectly manageable. It's perfect for everyday use and outdoor adventures.
While I loved the knife's construction, sharpness, and size, there was one thing that bothered me. The knife was delivered by a less-than-ideal shipping method, which caused it to be placed in my neighbor's mailbox instead of mine. I would have preferred it if the shipping was more streamlined and the knife was delivered directly to my doorstep.
Overall, I'm really happy with my Navy Blue Bone Stockman Pocket Knife. It's well-crafted, functional, and a great addition to my collection of everyday carry items.

🔗Yellow Mini Trapper Pocket Knife for Kids


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Recently, I found myself using the CASE Mini Trapper pocket knife in my daily life. This versatile tool has made all the difference in my outdoorsy adventures, as it fits perfectly in the pocket and is easy to access when needed. The bright yellow handle really stands out, not only making it easy to spot in a backpack or bag but also adding a touch of personality to it.
I've noticed the knife has two full-length blades, the 'clip' blade and the 'spey' blade. The clip blade is perfect for detail work or cutting small items efficiently, while the spey blade is an all-purpose utility blade that can handle most tasks. The knife is constructed with the robust chrome vanadium steel, known for its excellent edge-holding ability and easy resharpening. Although the steel isn't as resistant to rusting as stainless steel, it adds to the knife's unique charm, making it a lifelong companion.
However, an aspect that I found less appealing was the susceptibility to potential rusting. While it may not be a deal-breaker for some, it's worth considering for those who plan to use the knife heavily or in humid environments. Nonetheless, its solid build, smooth operating mechanism, and durable construction make this pocket knife an undeniable staple in my kit. If you're looking for a reliable tool that adds a touch of style while still maintaining practicality, the CASE Mini Trapper pocket knife is worth a try.

🔗Old Red Bone Case Hawkbill Knife for Everyday Use


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I've been using the Case Trapper Pocket Worn Old Red Bone Knife for a while now, and I must say, it's a beauty. Every time I take it out of my pocket, I can feel the quality in my hands. The red bone handle is not only eye-catching but also provides a comfortable grip.
The Tru-Sharp stainless steel blades are another highlight - they're sharp and hold their edge really well. The knife is perfect for those who enjoy trapping and skinning small game, as it's lightweight and has both a Clip and a Spey blade.
However, there is one downside. The knife is quite large, which can be a bit inconvenient when carrying it around in your pocket. But overall, I'm really happy with my purchase. It's like having a piece of art with me at all times that also happens to be a useful tool.

🔗Amber Jigged Bone Stockman Amber Bone Knife with CV-Carbon Steel Blades


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A couple of months ago, I decided to try out this Case Large Stockman Amber Bone pocket knife, and let me tell you, it did not disappoint. Firstly, the amber jigged bone handle not only adds an elegant touch but also provides a perfect grip. This knife was designed to serve many purposes, and it shines in each one.
The sheepsfoot blade was a game-changer for me, making it smooth and convenient to use, perfect for carving and getting those clean cuts. But the icing on the cake is the clip blade, which is incredibly versatile, coming in handy for all the everyday tasks around my place.
One thing that did catch me off guard was the resilience of the chrome vanadium steel used in making the blades. While some might worry about its susceptibility to rust and discoloration, I found it easy to sharpen and maintain.
The thing that I absolutely love about this pocket knife is its construction and build quality. It is solid, and it oozes class. However, if you're a fan of stainless steel, you might not appreciate this aspect as much.
In conclusion, I'd say this product is the epitome of quality and craftsmanship. It's an all-in-one knife that's both a collectible and a utility knife. Sure, it has its pros and cons, but the experience of using it outweighs any minor drawbacks. Would I recommend it? Absolutely!

🔗Stained Glass Trapper Folding Knife with Natural Bone Handle


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I recently had the pleasure of using this Case Trapper Angel Wings Folding Knife, and let me tell you, it's a beauty to behold! The stained glass angel wings on the handle make this knife truly unique. The natural bone handles, featuring a color wash and black definition, catch the light perfectly.
With a Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel blade, I found that this knife held its edge quite well and was surprisingly sturdy despite its lightweight build. The knife comes with both a Clip and a Spey blade, each serving a different purpose. The Clip is excellent for intricate tasks, while the Spey is versatile enough for any everyday use.
One particularly impressive aspect of this product is its construction with Case Tru-Sharp stainless steel. This material ensures the blade stays sharp for longer and offers impeccable corrosion resistance. The quality of this knife is evident from its handcrafted design in the United States.
In terms of packaging, the product arrives in a sleek black velvet box, perfect for storing and displaying the knife. Overall, my experience with this Trapper Angel Wings Folding Knife has been nothing short of delightful – a must-have addition to any enthusiast's collection.

🔗Handcrafted Gray Bone Case SM Congress Jigged Bone Pocket Knife


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I recently had the chance to try out the Case Small Congress Jigged Bone 58422, and let me tell you, it's quite a find. This little pocket knife is not only a perfect addition to my everyday carry, but it also has a unique charm to it.
The curved handle, made from gray bone, fits my hand nicely and gives a sturdy grip. The craftsmanship is evident in the way it was handcrafted in the United States – you can tell a lot of care and attention went into making this pocket knife.
The blade itself is made of carbon steel, which might seem a bit heavy for some, but I found it to be quite sharp and durable. It comes with two blades – a sheepsfoot, perfect for trimming hooves, and a pen blade for lighter work.
However, as much as I love this pocket knife, it's definitely not for everyone. Not only does it weigh a little more than other pocket knives, but the carbon steel blade might also be a bit of a risk when it comes to rust.
All in all, the Case Small Congress Jigged Bone 58422 is a fantastic choice for those who enjoy a traditional, compact pocket knife with a little extra heft and sharpness. But be sure to take proper care of it, and you'll be rewarded with a reliable and functional tool.

🔗Premium Aesthetic Case Aquarius Corelon Trapper Knife


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Recently, I had the chance to try out the Aquarius Trapper from W. R. Case & Sons, a premium American brand of handmade knives. This versatile pocket knife, crafted from the highest quality materials, instantly caught my attention with its durability and performance. Made by skilled artisans in the United States, it offers a wide range of features that make it a must-have for anyone in need of a reliable and durable tool.
One of the standout features of this Trapper knife is the Tru-Sharp surgical steel blades that provide excellent cutting capabilities. The clip and spey blades are a nice touch, offering versatility for different tasks. Additionally, the handles are made of durable Corelon Aquarius, which adds to the knife's overall durability and quality.
While I loved the attractive design and vibrant color options, I did notice that the knife seemed a bit prone to scratches when carried in my pocket. This prompted me to suggest that the manufacturer consider providing a cloth pouch to protect the knife during transportation. Overall, the Aquarius Trapper from Case Cutlery is an impressive tool, crafted with precision and care that makes it stand out among other pocket knives in the market.

🔗Case 50954 Iraqi Freedom Knife: Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel and Natural Bone Handle


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Imagine walking into a dimly lit room, the scent of old leather and polished steel lingering in the air. In one corner, nestled among antique weapons, you find a knife that instantly catches your eye. It's a Hawkbill Knife from the War Series, designed in the image of a classic Iraqi Freedom pattern.
The blade is made from Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel, a choice that ensures durability and precision. The handle, carved from natural bone, fits comfortably in the hand, a testament to the craftsmanship of its creators. Handcrafted in the United States, each knife bears the mark of its origin - a symbol of quality and pride.
With a closed length of 4.13 inches, this Hawkbill Knife is compact yet potent. The spey blades, mirror finish stainless clip, and nickel silver bolster showcase the attention to detail that has gone into its creation. As you hold it, the Iraqi Freedom handle embellishment stands out, a unique touch that adds a layer of depth to your experience.
Unfortunately, there are a few aspects that could be improved. The weight of the knife at 4.0 ounces might not be suitable for everyone. Moreover, the overall design may not appeal to all, but for those who appreciate the history and craftsmanship that goes into each piece, the Hawkbill Knife from the War Series is truly special.

🔗Antique Bone Handle Hawkbill Pocket Knife


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I've been using the Antique Bone Trapper for a few weeks now, and it's been quite a pleasure. The handle in jigged bone, with a rich, caramel brown tone, exudes an elegant, classic feel that makes you want to hold it and use it every day.
Plus, the Tru-Sharp SS blade adds durability and smoothness to cutting through tasks. However, I do wish the knife had been sharpened out of the box - just a bit of extra effort on my part before it could perform at its best.
Don't let this minor inconvenience deter you from trying it out. The Antique Bone Trapper is a fantastic addition to any collection or daily toolkit.

🔗Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel Hawkbill Knife with Blue Bone Handle


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I was intrigued by the Case XX 02845 SM Congress Blue Bone knives. The mirrored stainless steel blades and blue jigged bone handle were visually appealing. But the slipjoint lock was a bit unwieldy.
It took some practice to get the hang of it. The Tru-Sharp Surgical Steel blades held their shine for a reasonable amount of time, which was convenient. However, for a small knife with a 3-inch closed length, it lacked maneuverability in some situations.
Nevertheless, I appreciated the American craftsmanship that went into making this compact, pocket-friendly knife.

🔗Case XX Trapper Knife: High-Quality, Custom-Made in the USA


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I recently had the chance to try out the Case XX Mulberry Synthetic 4254 Trapper. It's a handsome little knife, featuring a beautiful Mulberry synthetic handle that gives it a lovely, slightly textured grip. The Tru-Sharp stainless steel blades are quite sharp, and the spey blades are perfect for those who like a little added functionality.
One of the things I appreciated most about this knife is that it's handcrafted right here in the United States. The attention to detail is evident, from the mirror finish stainless clip to the nickel silver bolster. However, something I noticed that might be a drawback for some is its weight - at only 3.7oz, it's a pretty light knife in comparison to others.
Using this knife daily, I found it quite versatile and practical. But overall, the Case XX Mulberry Synthetic 4254 Trapper is a product that combines both beauty and functionality, making it stand out among its competitors in the market.

🔗American-Made Mini Trapper Pocket Knife for USAF Enthusiasts


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I had the opportunity to test the Case 32402 Mini Trapper, a tiny pocket knife packed with impressive features. One of the highlights that stood out to me was the Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel, which provided durable sharpness that lasted through various tasks.
The Navy Blue Synthetic Handle offered a comfortable, ergonomic grip, allowing me to navigate my way around the miniature knife with ease. In addition, it added a touch of style to the design, making it stand out.
However, I did experience a small disadvantage - the Mini Trapper's manual-open design made it a bit challenging to access and open with just one hand. Despite this minor inconvenience, I still found great value in the United States Air Force W. R. Case & Sons Cutlery Co. 32402. Overall, it was a reliable and aesthetically pleasing addition to my daily life.

Buyer's Guide

A Case Hawkbill Knife, also known as a pen knife or a pocket knife, is a versatile and practical tool. It offers a variety of functions, including cutting, opening, and even breaking objects like nails. This buyer's guide will provide an overview of essential factors to consider when purchasing a Case Hawkbill Knife, as well as some general recommendations.

Materials


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One of the first things to consider is the materials used to make the knife. Good-quality knives are typically made from carbon steel, stainless steel, or high-carbon stainless steel. These materials provide durability, corrosion resistance, and sharpness. Consider the climate where you'll use the knife, as well as the type of objects you'll be cutting. Stainless steel may be a better choice if you live in a humid or salty environment. Meanwhile, high-carbon steel could be preferable for a more precise or versatile edge. Remember to check if the blade locks or unlocks securely when using it.

Design Features

There are several design features to consider when buying a Case Hawkbill Knife. A locking mechanism is essential for safety and ensuring that the blade remains closed when not in use. Popular locking mechanisms include friction locks and spring-loaded locks. Pay attention to the size and weight of the knife, as well as the design of the handle. Some handles are ergonomic for comfortable use, while others have built-in features for opening cans or bottles caps.

Brand Reputation

Another important aspect to consider is the brand reputation. Case has a long history of producing high-quality knives with excellent value for money. However, new brands or lesser-known manufacturers may offer excellent products as well. Research online reviews, customer testimonials, and manufacturer's warranty policies to ensure that you're getting a reliable and durable product.

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Maintenance Tips

To extend the life of your Case Hawkbill Knife, proper maintenance is essential. Always clean the knife by wiping the blade with a cloth and removing any debris on the handle. To prevent rust, you should avoid submerging the knife in water or storing it in a humid area. Regularly re-lubricating the hinges and locking mechanism is also recommended. For the blade, sharpen or hone it as needed to maintain its cutting edge.

Price

The price of a Case Hawkbill Knife can vary based on factors such as materials, design features, and brand reputation. Shop around for the best deals and consider your budget when purchasing one. Remember that spending a bit more on a well-built knife may save you money in the long run by offering better durability and requiring fewer repairs or replacements.

FAQ


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What is a Hawkbill knife?

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2024.05.19 13:26 Sweet-Count2557 12 Outdoor Ice Skating Rinks Across Connecticut for Winter Family Fun

12 Outdoor Ice Skating Rinks Across Connecticut for Winter Family Fun
12 Outdoor Ice Skating Rinks Across Connecticut for Winter Family Fun Are you ready to slide into winter with some chilly family fun? Connecticut has got you covered with not one, not two, but twelve outdoor ice skating rinks just waiting to be explored.From the picturesque town of Stamford to the vibrant city of Hartford, there's a perfect spot for everyone to lace up their skates and glide across the ice.So, grab your mittens and join us as we take a journey through the frozen wonderland of Connecticut's outdoor ice skating rinks.Key TakeawaysThere are outdoor ice skating rinks available in various cities across Connecticut, including Stamford, Westport, Darien, Redding, Fairfield, New Haven, and Hartford.Each rink has its own unique features and offerings, such as the Steven & Alexandra Cohen Ice Skating Center in Stamford, which spans over 9,000 feet of ice and is open most days through February.Some rinks have specific opening dates, such as the Westport PAL Rink in Westport, which is scheduled to open on November 25, 2022, weather permitting.Certain rinks, like Gorhams Pond in Darien, offer picturesque winter scenes and invite families for ice skating. Skating seasons may start earlier in locations with colder weather.Stamford Ice Skating CenterLocated in Stamford, the Steven & Alexandra Cohen Ice Skating Center offers an expansive 9,000 feet of ice for an exhilarating outdoor skating experience. Our center is the perfect place for ice skating enthusiasts of all ages and skill levels. Whether you're a beginner looking to learn the basics or an experienced skater looking to improve your skills, we've a variety of ice skating lessons and programs to suit your needs. Our highly trained instructors are dedicated to providing a safe and supportive environment for learning and growth.At the Stamford Ice Skating Center, we also offer a range of special events and activities to enhance your skating experience. From themed skate nights to holiday celebrations, there's always something exciting happening on the ice. Bring your friends and family for a fun-filled day of skating and enjoy our festive atmosphere.In addition to our regular ice skating sessions, we host a variety of special events throughout the season. Whether it's a figure skating competition, a hockey tournament, or a charity fundraiser, there's always something happening at the Stamford Ice Skating Center. Join us for thrilling performances and support the local skating community.Westport PAL RinkAfter enjoying the exciting skating experience at the Steven & Alexandra Cohen Ice Skating Center in Stamford, it's time to venture to the Westport PAL Rink for more open-air skating near the picturesque Long Island Sound. Westport PAL Rink offers a variety of activities and events for skaters of all ages and skill levels.One of the highlights of the Westport PAL Rink is its skating schedule and events. The rink is open for public skating sessions throughout the week, providing ample opportunity for families and friends to enjoy the ice together. Additionally, the rink hosts special events such as theme nights, live music, and even ice shows. These events add an extra element of excitement and entertainment to the skating experience, making each visit to the rink a memorable one.For beginners or those looking to improve their skating skills, Westport PAL Rink also offers skating lessons. These lessons are taught by experienced instructors who are dedicated to helping skaters develop their abilities and confidence on the ice. Whether you're a complete novice or just looking to refine your technique, the skating lessons at Westport PAL Rink are designed to cater to your individual needs and goals.With its beautiful location near the Long Island Sound, the Westport PAL Rink provides a unique and invigorating outdoor skating experience. Skaters can enjoy the crisp winter air and scenic views as they glide across the ice. The rink's open-air setting adds a sense of freedom and liberation to the skating experience, allowing skaters to fully embrace the joy of gliding on the ice.Gorhams Pond in DarienGorhams Pond in Darien offers a picturesque winter scene for families and individuals to enjoy the exhilarating activity of ice skating. Here are three reasons why Gorhams Pond in Darien is the perfect destination for family-friendly ice skating activities and winter scenery:Timing of the Ice Skating Season: Gorhams Pond in Darien starts its ice skating season earlier than other rinks due to the colder weather in the area. This means that you can hit the ice sooner and make the most of the winter season. Imagine gliding across the frozen pond, surrounded by the beauty of nature, with the crisp winter air filling your lungs. It's a truly liberating experience.Family-Friendly Activities: Gorhams Pond in Darien isn't just about ice skating. It offers a range of family-friendly activities to keep everyone entertained. From ice hockey games to figure skating lessons, there's something for everyone. You can spend quality time with your loved ones, creating memories that will last a lifetime. And with the stunning winter scenery as your backdrop, every moment spent at Gorhams Pond will feel like a winter wonderland.Winter Scenery: One of the highlights of Gorhams Pond in Darien is its picturesque winter scenes. The pond is surrounded by tall trees, their branches covered in a blanket of snow. The glistening ice reflects the sunlight, creating a magical atmosphere. Whether you're a seasoned skater or a beginner, you'll be captivated by the serene beauty of the surroundings. It's a place where you can escape the hustle and bustle of daily life and immerse yourself in the freedom of the winter season.Redding Community CenterTucked away in a quiet corner of Redding, the Redding Community Center offers a convenient and inviting location for ice skating enthusiasts of all ages. This hidden gem provides a safe and enjoyable experience for families looking to have some winter fun on the ice.The Redding Community Center boasts a flexible skating schedule that caters to various preferences and schedules. From dawn to dusk, the ice rink is open every day, allowing visitors to choose a time that works best for them.One of the standout features of the Redding Community Center is its designated evening skate times. These evening sessions create a magical atmosphere, with twinkling lights illuminating the ice and creating a cozy ambiance. Skating under the night sky adds an extra touch of enchantment to the experience.In addition to its convenient schedule, the Redding Community Center offers a range of amenities to enhance the skating experience. Visitors can take advantage of the on-site skate rentals, ensuring that everyone has access to the necessary equipment. The center also provides a warming hut where skaters can take a break and warm up before heading back onto the ice.The Redding Community Center isn't just a place for skating; it's a hub of family-friendly activities. Alongside the ice rink, there are often other winter activities available, such as sledding or snowball fights. Families can make a whole day out of their visit, enjoying the various winter activities and creating cherished memories.Whether you're a seasoned skater or just starting out, the Redding Community Center is the perfect place to lace up your skates and enjoy some quality time on the ice. Its convenient schedule, amenities, and family-friendly atmosphere make it a must-visit destination for winter fun. So gather your loved ones, embrace the freedom of the ice, and make unforgettable memories at the Redding Community Center.Gould Manor Park in FairfieldNestled within the picturesque town of Fairfield, Gould Manor Park offers a delightful outdoor ice skating experience for families and skating enthusiasts alike. As you step onto the glistening ice, you can't help but feel a sense of freedom and excitement.Here are three things to know about Gould Manor Park in Fairfield:Best times to visit for a less crowded experience: If you prefer a quieter skating session, it's best to visit Gould Manor Park in the early morning or on weekdays. The park tends to be less crowded during these times, allowing you to glide across the ice with ease and enjoy the peaceful surroundings. Embrace the freedom of having the rink to yourself or with just a few fellow skaters.Tips for beginners to enjoy ice skating at the park: If you're new to ice skating, Gould Manor Park is the perfect place to learn and improve your skills. Remember to dress warmly and wear comfortable, supportive shoes. It's also a good idea to bring a helmet for added safety. Take your time and start by practicing your balance and basic strides along the edges of the rink. Don't be afraid to ask for help or take a lesson if you're feeling unsure. With a little practice and determination, you'll soon be gliding confidently across the ice.Embrace the freedom of the open space: Gould Manor Park offers a spacious outdoor rink that allows you to fully embrace the freedom and joy of ice skating. Take in the crisp winter air as you skate under the clear blue sky. Feel the wind on your face as you glide effortlessly across the ice. Whether you're twirling, spinning, or simply taking leisurely laps around the rink, Gould Manor Park provides the perfect backdrop for an unforgettable ice skating experience.Owen Fish Park in FairfieldHave you ever wondered where to find a charming outdoor ice skating rink in Fairfield, Connecticut? Look no further than Owen Fish Park, a hidden gem nestled within the town. This picturesque park offers a tree-lined pond that is perfect for ice skating activities and immersing yourself in the beautiful winter scenery.At Owen Fish Park, you can lace up your skates and glide across the smooth ice, surrounded by towering trees and a peaceful atmosphere. The park provides a serene setting for families and friends to enjoy the timeless activity of ice skating. Whether you're a beginner or an experienced skater, Owen Fish Park offers a welcoming space for everyone to embrace the joy of gliding on ice.To give you a better idea of what to expect at Owen Fish Park, here's a table that highlights some key features:Owen Fish Park in FairfieldLocationFairfield, ConnecticutSkating ActivitiesIce Skating, Ice Hockey, Skating PracticeWinter SceneryTree-lined Pond, Serene AtmosphereAmenitiesBenches, Restrooms, ParkingOpening HoursDawn to DuskAs you can see, Owen Fish Park provides more than just a place to skate. It offers a tranquil escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday life, allowing you to reconnect with nature and enjoy the simple pleasures of winter. So grab your skates, bundle up in warm attire, and head over to Owen Fish Park for a memorable ice skating experience.Remember to always check the park's opening hours and any safety guidelines before your visit. Enjoy the freedom of gliding on ice and creating lasting memories in the enchanting winter wonderland of Owen Fish Park.Osbornedale State Park in DerbyLooking for a stunning outdoor ice skating destination in Derby, Connecticut? Look no further than Osbornedale State Park, where you can experience the thrill of gliding across the ice in a picturesque setting.Here are three reasons why Osbornedale State Park is the perfect place for your next ice skating adventure:Safety First: When enjoying outdoor ice skating, it's important to prioritize safety. Remember to wear proper attire, including warm clothing, gloves, and a helmet. Check the ice thickness before stepping onto it, and always skate in designated areas to avoid any potential hazards. By following these outdoor ice skating safety tips, you can ensure a fun and worry-free experience at Osbornedale State Park.Best Times to Visit: To make the most of your visit to Osbornedale State Park, it's helpful to know the best times to go. The park is open from sunrise to sunset, but for optimal ice skating conditions, it's recommended to go during colder months when the ice is more likely to be frozen solid. Additionally, weekdays tend to be less crowded, providing more freedom and space to enjoy the ice.An Enchanting Winter Wonderland: Osbornedale State Park offers a magical winter backdrop for your ice skating escapades. The park's designated ice skating area is surrounded by beautiful natural scenery, including towering trees and snow-covered landscapes. As you glide across the ice, you'll feel a sense of freedom and exhilaration, surrounded by the beauty of nature.Wrights Pond in OrangeWrights Pond in Orange offers a delightful winter experience, with its serene setting and abundant wildlife. As you glide across the ice, you'll be surrounded by the beauty of nature, with snow-covered trees and the sounds of birds chirping in the distance. This hidden gem is the perfect place to escape the hustle and bustle of daily life and immerse yourself in the tranquility of winter.One of the highlights of Wrights Pond is the opportunity to observe winter wildlife in their natural habitat. As you skate, keep an eye out for graceful swans gliding across the frozen surface and playful squirrels darting through the snow. The pond is teeming with life, providing a unique and enchanting experience for visitors of all ages.To ensure your safety, the city Parks and Recreation Department closely monitors the ice conditions at Wrights Pond. They regularly check the thickness of the ice and provide updates to the public. It's important to always follow their guidance and heed any warnings or restrictions they may have in place. By doing so, you can enjoy a worry-free skating experience and focus on the joy of being outdoors.To further emphasize the importance of ice safety, here's a table highlighting some key tips:Ice Safety TipsCheck ice thicknessAvoid skating aloneWear appropriate gearStay away from cracksObserve posted warningsTrust your instinctsThe Bushnell in HartfordNestled in the heart of Hartford, The Bushnell provides a winter wonderland for ice skating enthusiasts of all ages. The Bushnell, known for its stunning architecture and rich history, transforms into a magical ice skating rink during the winter months.Here are three reasons why The Bushnell is a must-visit destination for winter fun:Winterfest activities: The Bushnell hosts a variety of Winterfest activities that are sure to delight visitors. From ice sculpting demonstrations to live music performances, there's always something exciting happening at The Bushnell. Families can enjoy the festive atmosphere while gliding across the ice and creating lasting memories.Free skating lessons: For those who are new to ice skating or want to improve their skills, The Bushnell offers free skating lessons. Experienced instructors are available to teach beginners the basics of skating or help more advanced skaters refine their techniques. Whether you're a novice or an expert, The Bushnell has something to offer everyone.The perfect setting: The Bushnell's picturesque location, surrounded by the beauty of downtown Hartford, provides a stunning backdrop for a day of ice skating. Skaters can enjoy panoramic views of the city skyline as they glide across the ice. The Bushnell's outdoor rink is the perfect place to embrace the freedom of winter and experience the joy of skating.Simsbury Farms in SimsburyAfter experiencing the enchanting winter wonderland at The Bushnell, it's time to explore another captivating outdoor ice skating destination in Connecticut - Simsbury Farms in Simsbury.Simsbury Farms is a hidden gem nestled in the charming town of Simsbury, offering a range of exciting winter activities for the whole family to enjoy.One of the highlights of Simsbury Farms is its covered ice skating rink, which provides a sheltered and cozy environment for skaters of all ages and skill levels. Whether you're a seasoned pro or just starting out, the rink at Simsbury Farms has something for everyone. And if you're new to ice skating, don't worry - they offer skating lessons taught by experienced instructors who'll guide you every step of the way.Aside from ice skating, Simsbury Farms also offers other winter activities to keep the whole family entertained. You can take a leisurely stroll on the nearby walking trails, surrounded by picturesque winter scenery. Or, if you're feeling adventurous, you can try your hand at cross-country skiing on the groomed trails. And for those who prefer a more relaxed pace, there are designated areas for sledding and snowshoeing.Winter at Simsbury Farms is truly a magical experience. The crisp air, the sound of blades gliding on ice, and the laughter of families enjoying the outdoors create an atmosphere of freedom and joy. So, gather your loved ones and head over to Simsbury Farms for a day of winter fun. Whether you're a seasoned skater or just starting out, Simsbury Farms has something for everyone.Winding Trails in FarmingtonWinding Trails in Farmington offers a charming and picturesque outdoor ice skating experience for visitors of all ages. As you glide across the smooth ice, surrounded by snow-covered landscapes, you'll feel a sense of freedom and joy.Here are three reasons why Winding Trails is a must-visit destination for winter activities:Tranquil Setting: Winding Trails is nestled in the heart of Farmington, surrounded by snow-encrusted pines and breathtaking natural beauty. The peaceful atmosphere creates the perfect backdrop for a serene ice skating experience. As you skate hand-in-hand with loved ones or gracefully twirl on your own, you'll feel a sense of tranquility and escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.Family-Friendly Environment: Winding Trails welcomes visitors of all ages, making it an ideal destination for a fun-filled family outing. Whether you're a seasoned skater or a beginner, there's something for everyone to enjoy. Parents can watch their little ones take their first wobbly steps on the ice, while older siblings can challenge each other to friendly races. The laughter and smiles of families enjoying the winter wonderland will warm your heart.Old-Fashioned Charm: Winding Trails offers an authentic and nostalgic ice skating experience. The rink is reminiscent of a bygone era, where outdoor skating was a cherished winter pastime. As you glide across the ice, the crisp winter air filling your lungs, you'll feel connected to a simpler time. The sound of skates gliding and laughter echoing off the surrounding trees creates a magical ambiance that will transport you to a world of pure joy and freedom.Make sure to carve out some time this winter to visit Winding Trails in Farmington. With its tranquil setting, family-friendly environment, and old-fashioned charm, it's the perfect place to create lasting memories and embrace the beauty of the winter season.Eastbury Pond in GlastonburyWith its expansive frozen surface and thrilling skating adventure, Eastbury Pond in Glastonbury is a winter wonderland for ice skating enthusiasts of all ages. As you glide across the glistening ice, you can feel a sense of freedom and exhilaration, surrounded by the beauty of nature.To give you a glimpse of what awaits you at Eastbury Pond, let me paint a picture with words. Imagine stepping onto the ice, your blades cutting through the smooth surface with ease. The crisp winter air fills your lungs as you pick up speed, the wind rushing past your face. The pond stretches out before you, inviting you to explore its frozen expanse. And as you twirl and spin, you can't help but feel a sense of joy and liberation.But while Eastbury Pond offers thrilling winter adventures, it's important to prioritize ice safety precautions. Before heading out onto the ice, make sure to check its thickness. A minimum of four inches is generally considered safe for skating. It's also essential to wear appropriate gear, including a helmet, knee pads, and warm clothing. And remember, never skate alone. Bring a friend or family member along for added safety and enjoyment.Now, let's take a look at a table that showcases the key features of Eastbury Pond:FeatureDescriptionExpansive SurfaceThe pond offers a large area for skating, allowing for freedom of movement.Natural BeautySurrounded by picturesque landscapes, Eastbury Pond provides a visually stunning backdrop.Family-FriendlyThe pond is suitable for ice skaters of all ages and welcomes families for a fun-filled experience.With its thrilling skating adventure and emphasis on safety, Eastbury Pond in Glastonbury is the perfect destination for a winter escapade. So grab your skates, bundle up, and get ready to embark on a memorable ice skating journey.Frequently Asked QuestionsAre There Any Age Restrictions for Ice Skating at the Stamford Ice Skating Center?There are no age restrictions for ice skating at the Stamford Ice Skating Center. It's a great place for the whole family to enjoy some winter fun on the ice.The center follows strict ice skating rules and safety measures to ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for everyone.As for the best time to visit the outdoor ice skating rinks in Connecticut, it's typically during the colder months when the ice is at its best.Is There a Fee for Ice Skating at the Westport PAL Rink?Yes, there's a fee for ice skating at the Westport PAL rink. The rink offers open skate time near Long Island Sound and is mostly dedicated to recreational skating.As for the age restrictions at the Stamford Ice Skating Center, there are no specific restrictions mentioned.Visitors are allowed to bring their own ice skates to Gorhams Pond in Darien, and skate rental services are available at the Redding Community Center.It's worth noting that there's no information about a limit on the number of people allowed on the ice at Gould Manor Park in Fairfield.Can Visitors Bring Their Own Ice Skates to Gorhams Pond in Darien?Yes, visitors are allowed to bring their own ice skates to Gorhams Pond in Darien. It's a picturesque winter destination that invites families for a delightful ice skating experience.However, it's important to remember to take safety precautions while enjoying the ice. At the Steven & Alexandra Cohen Ice Skating Center in Stamford, safety measures are in place to ensure a secure skating environment.Are There Any Skate Rental Services Available at the Redding Community Center?Yes, there are skate rental services available at the Redding Community Center. They understand the importance of providing convenience to visitors and offer skate rentals for those who don't have their own skates.Additionally, many other outdoor ice skating rinks across Connecticut also offer skate rentals. It's a great option for families who want to enjoy the winter fun without the hassle of bringing their own equipment.Is There a Limit on the Number of People Allowed on the Ice at Gould Manor Park in Fairfield?There is no limit on the number of people allowed on the ice at Gould Manor Park in Fairfield. It's a charming spot with a Currier & Ives scene of children skating.As for the Stamford Ice Skating Center, there are no age restrictions for ice skating. It spans over 9,000 feet of ice and is open most days through February.Both locations offer a wonderful opportunity for families to enjoy outdoor ice skating in Connecticut.ConclusionSo lace up your skates and let the ice be your canvas as you glide across the frozen landscapes of Connecticut.Whether you choose the Steven & Alexandra Cohen Ice Skating Center in Stamford or the Westport PAL Rink near Long Island Sound, there's no shortage of outdoor ice skating rinks for winter family fun.So grab your loved ones and embark on a winter adventure that will leave you with memories as sparkling as the ice itself.
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2024.05.19 13:26 Orange_Menace1 Randyll Tarly - Blackfyre Supporter (my first theory)

Randyll Tarly - Blackfyre Supporter (my first theory)
Note: I started writing this and it got away from me. Rather than fill in the unfinished points, I've just left them there for everyone to consider

Preface

Randyll Tarly on a first read through is a jerk. He tortures Sam, insults Brienne, implements draconian justice and downplays the golden company threat. Prima-Facie, he is a violent commander with little political cunning.
Except for his results. By the end of ADWD
· He receives accolades for every battle fought (I hold fire on the term won)
· He holds the queen in his custody.
· He has a voice at council
· He secured his chosen heir in defiance of westrosi customs
If we assume these things didn’t happen by chance, we can re-examine some of his older achievements, actions, and then try to sort out his motives.

Randyll Tarly as a Commander

Roberts Rebellion

Battle of Ashford

Context: The battle of Ashford was Roberts one defeat in his rebellion. Tarly’s van sailed forward and defeated Roberts host, but the battle was inconclusive. Robert retreated to the stony sept, recovered, regrouped, and when his allies arrived and consolidated forces, used this new army to win the war.

Relevant Sections – directly on point paragraphs:

A Storm of Swords - Tyrion III

Tyrion had to bite his tongue at that. Robb Stark had won more battles in a year than the Lord of Highgarden had in twenty. ~Tyrell's reputation rested on one indecisive victory over Robert Baratheon at Ashford, in a battle largely won by Lord Tarly's van before the main host had even arrived.~

A Storm of Swords - Davos V

"Edric, you ought not boast," Maester Pylos said. "King Robert suffered defeats like any other man. Lord Tyrell bested him at Ashford, and he lost many a tourney tilt as well."

A Storm of Swords - Samwell V

"Your father is an able soldier," King Stannis said. "He defeated my brother once, at Ashford. Mace Tyrell has been pleased to claim the honors for that victory, but Lord Randyll had decided matters before Tyrell ever found the battlefield. He slew Lord Cafferen with that great Valyrian sword of his and sent his head to Aerys." The king rubbed his jaw with a finger. "You are not the sort of son I would expect such a man to have."

A Dance with Dragons - The Griffin Reborn

~He had lost it all at Stoney Sept, in his arrogance.~
~Robert Baratheon had been hiding somewhere in the town, wounded and alone. Jon Connington had known that, and he had also known that Robert's head upon a spear would have put an end to the rebellion, then and there~. He was young and full of pride. How not? King Aerys had named him Hand and given him an army, and he meant to prove himself worthy of that trust, of Rhaegar's love. He would slay the rebel lord himself and carve a place out for himself in all the histories of the Seven Kingdoms.

Other information gleaned from context

· Tarly did not inflict substantial casualties
· Robert won the battle of the trident within a year – Ashford is 282AC and the trident is 283
· Robert fled to and was sheltered in the stony sept, where Jon Connington failed to flush him out. The battle of the bells occurred in 283AC, as did the battle of the trident shortly after

Analysis

Randyll leads the van some distance ahead of the main force, gets into a battle with the rebels, and inflicts minor to moderate casualties before they escape. Tyrell takes the credit.
From a military point of view, if the battle had not been decided before the main force arrived, the war would have likely ended. A much larger force (with assumedly many more horsemen) would have won the battle both more conclusively, and been able to pursue. By all rights, the strategy enforced by Mace Tyrell should have won the war (this theme will come in later in this theory), but for the fact only a fraction of his army engaged far ahead of the main host.
As an aside and jumping ahead a little – Tarly avoids doing this after the blackwater, closing off escape routes and slaughtering everyone. This hints at the fact that Ashford was a tactical mistake.
The first three viewpoints we receive on the battle are of note.
· Tyrion points out the battle was indecisive, and ~decided before the main host arrived~. He focuses on the victory in ‘battle’ as opposed to war.
· Stannis points out how able Randyll is by defeating his brother once at Ashford. Although unable to ascribe any special military strategy to Randyll, he calls him ‘able’ and decided matters before Tyrell arrived. He also flags that Mace Tyrell claimed the honours for the victory and he thinks this undeserved. It’s interesting as it’s Maces host at Ashford, a host that by all rights should have crushed Roberts army in a single battle – given the van alone defeated him. He also ascribes the only kill of note as lord Cafferen
· Maester Pylos points out that Robert lost battles at Ashford and flags it was Tyrell who bested him.
The battle by all appearances, was a farce. Ashford could have ended the war. Arguably, even with the van alone deciding the fight, it very nearly did. Instead, the battle is determined indecisive, there is no ‘impressive kill and capture list’ indicating the host was not captured or killed (as opposed to routed), and Mace has this massive potentially war-ending host not doing much because Robert is in retreat before it arrives.
Furthermore despite all this, Tarly very nearly won the day at Ashford. Robert suffered a serious – but nonfatal wound that seemingly took months (and at least weeks) to recover. The fact that a seriously wounded Robert was able to escape despite distinctive armour and weaponry raises questions of its own.
Finally, when Robert was wounded and hidden in the aftermath whilst he recovered, narratively it allowed JonCon to lay siege to the stony sept. As a parallel, one of the themes I will later touch on is how Tarly changes after this battle, and we know JonCon swears to kill more and become Tywin 2.0. as a direct result of the events at the sept. We see a similar change in Tarly.
It’s also of note that Tarly and Tyrell at this point were on the Targaryen side. This crops up later when we look into other motivations and goals.
Aftermath
So we know that Robert suffers wounds and is somewhat detached from his host (be it they left him in the stoney sept or he scattered off from the main host). We know this as he ends up wounded in the Stoney Sept. After this, the battle of the bells and all the great victories that ended the war occur.
Notably, Tarly has no major military achievements after this battle. Since Mace Tyrell was invested in the siege of Storms end, it can be presumed Tarly was positioned with the main force. The next time we see him is in the battle of 5 kings –

Discussion with Renly – The Siege of Stannis

  • Renly outright ignores Tarly when he says they'll be charging into the sun. In renlys conversation with stannis he points out how overwhelmingly strong his force is and how it will be heavy horse charging into boiled leather. He's not wrong, if the armies clash, stannis will be crushed and waiting is potentially disastrous, as stannis may not engage or slow the whole process down.

Battle of the Blackwater

A Clash of Kings - Sansa VII

They came up the roseroad and along the riverbank, through all the fields Stannis had burned, the ashes puffing up around their boots and turning all their armor grey, but oh! the banners must have been bright, the golden rose and golden lion and all the others, the Marbrand tree and the Rowan~, Tarly's huntsman~ and Redwyne's grapes and Lady Oakheart's leaf. All the westermen, all the power of Highgarden and Casterly Rock! ~Lord Tywin himself had their right wing~ on the north side of the river, with Randyll Tarly commanding the center and ~Mace Tyrell the left,~ but the vanguard won the fight. They plunged through Stannis like a lance through a pumpkin, every man of them howling like some demon in steel. And do you know who led the vanguard? Do you? Do you? Do you?"

A Storm of Swords - Catelyn II

"I told you to hold Riverrun," said Robb. "What part of that command did you fail to comprehend?"
"When you stopped Lord Tywin on the Red Fork," said the Blackfish, "you delayed him just long enough for riders out of Bitterbridge to reach him with word of what was happening to the east. ~Lord Tywin turned his host at once, joined up with Matthis Rowan and Randyll Tarly~ near the headwaters of the Blackwater, and made a forced march to Tumbler's Falls, ~where he found Mace Tyrell and two of his sons waiting with a huge host and a fleet of barges~. They floated down the river, disembarked half a day's ride from the city, and took Stannis in the rear."

We know tywin likes to put his strength on his flanks and in the reserve

Interestingly, Mace is there too, and it’s a tyrell van this time, not tarly
Lord Tywin himself had their right wing on the north side of the river, with Randyll Tarly commanding the center and Mace Tyrell the left, but the vanguard won the fight. They plunged through Stannis like a lance through a pumpkin, every man of them howling like some demon in steel.
ACOK 62: SANSA VII

Analysis

First the parallels. Mace Tyrell is paralleled to Tywin on the two flanks. It is a tyrell in the van who decides the day. Randyll commands the center.
Logistically, the battle is won by Mace Tyrell (whom I love as a character) with a fleet of barges and a huge host already in position (allowing the army to cross quickly enough to intercept the battle of the blackwater). Also the messenger that draws in Tywin’s host comes from Bitterbridge – Tyrell Lands. Given the van wins the battle, there’s a fair argument that Mace could have won the battle alone, albeit with all the support he wins a crushing victory instead.
So Randyll is relegated to an important, but ultimately ancillary position. Whether the battle is won by Tywin or Mace (and by all logistical accounts, it’s Mace), is another question, but the ‘finest soldier in the seven kingdoms’ is once again, somewhat ineffectual. He still commands the center in such a battle, but he displays no logistical or battle prowess in this fight either, just being a renowned commander in the right place at the right time.

Battle of Duskendale

· Lord Randyll defeats a northern army. The army is mostly foot and misplaced
· This time, few excape – XXXX cuts off the retreat.
· Some theories say he was tipped off by Roose Bolton.
· This time he gets the commander
· Figth occurs in FIELDS AND FARMS. Bad terrain for a retreat. Glover TRAPPED against blackwater bay
· Note that Glover had to be captured lest bolton treachery be revealed. Cannot be allowed to send raven.
· Strong implication of a trap and tipoff

A Storm of Swords - Catelyn IV

When they brought him word of the battle at Duskendale, where Lord Randyll Tarly had shattered Robett Glover and Ser Helman Tallhart, he might have been expected to rage.

A Storm of Swords - Tyrion VIII

But who would be mad enough to contest Joffrey's rule now, after what had befallen Stannis Baratheon and Robb Stark? There was still fighting in the riverlands, but everywhere the coils were tightening. Ser Gregor Clegane had crossed the Trident and seized the ruby ford, then captured Harrenhal almost effortlessly. Seagard had yielded to Black Walder Frey, ~Lord Randyll Tarly held Maidenpool, Duskendale, and the kingsroad.~

A Storm of Swords - Tyrion III

"No," their father said. "With the war. Varys."
The eunuch smiled a silken smile. "I have such delicious tidings for you all, my lords. Yesterday at dawn our ~brave Lord Randyll caught Robett Glover outside Duskendale and trapped him against the sea. Losses were heavy on both sides, but in the end our loyal men prevailed. Ser Helman Tallhart is reported dead, with a thousand others. Robett Glover leads the survivors back toward Harrenhal in bloody disarray, little dreaming he will find valiant Ser Gregor and his stalwarts athwart his path."~

A Storm of Swords - Tyrion I

"Until Lord Redwyne brings his fleet up, we lack the ships to assail Dragonstone. It makes no matter. Stannis Baratheon's sun set on the Blackwater. ~As for Stark, the boy is still in the west, but a large force of northmen under Helman Tallhart and Robett Glover are descending toward Duskendale. I've sent Lord Tarly to meet them, while Ser Gregor drives up the kingsroad to cut off their retreat.~ Tallhart and Glover will be caught between them, with a third of Stark's strength."

A Storm of Swords - Catelyn IV

When they brought him word of the battle at Duskendale, where ~Lord Randyll Tarly had shattered Robett Glover and Ser Helman Tallhart,~ he might have been expected to rage. Instead he'd stared in dumb disbelief and said, "Duskendale, on the narrow sea? Why would they go to Duskendale?" He'd shook his head, bewildered. "A third of my foot, lost for Duskendale?"
"The ironmen have my castle and now the Lannisters hold my brother," Galbart Glover said, in a voice thick with despair. Robett Glover had survived the battle, but had been captured near the kingsroad not long after.

A Feast for Crows - Brienne II

Lord Randyll Tarly had commanded Joffrey's army, made up of westermen and stormlanders and knights from the Reach. Those men of his who had died here had been carried back inside the walls, to rest in heroes' tombs beneath the septs of Duskendale. The northern dead, far more numerous, were buried in a common grave beside the sea. Above the cairn that marked their resting place, the victors had raised a rough-hewn wooden marker. HERE LIE THE WOLVES was all it said. Brienne stopped beside it and said a silent prayer for them, and for Catelyn Stark and her son Robb and all the men who'd died with them as well.



Analysis

Firstly we start with the obvious comparison. Tarly lets Robert escape when Mace otherwise very nearly won the war. Given another chance, Randyll pins his enemy against the sea and plans to not let a man escape. Having somewhat surrounded the opponent on known land, with reinforcements (Clegane) behind him, he still manages to suffer heavy casualties, and the target (XXXX) escapes.
What a colossal mistake. The only good news is he intercepted enough of the force that it seems no ravens got sent off showing exactly what happened, as if one message got back, the whole red wedding could have been undone.
Now prior posts have analyzed duskendale about allowing paths of retreat, and number of losses, but I think there are three key takeaways
1) The stark contrast between this and his tactics at Ashford
2) The fact that he failed to capture the host and Gregor Clegane had to clean up the mess
3) The fact he suffered heavy losses when by all rights he had every advantage (and still failed to capture the army)
Interestingly, the message that gets to Robb is that Tarly shattered glover. The actual message from Varys is only 1000 were killed, with Tallhart. Now its difficult to say how many foot there were, but it’s not unreasonable to assume that 1000 is less than to around half the force. Clegane captures Glover in the aftermath (thankfully), and Robb gets the report that Tarly shattered the force, when in actuality a good chunk of it was Clegane.
As a sidenote- this is indicative that Clegane actually isn’t a bad commander, and in turn this makes the fact that Edmure Tully threw him back more impressive.
We also don’t hear of any captives other than the ones taken by Clegane. It appears Tarly is putting men to the sword (SEE EARLIER).
Now before we get into conspiracy theories, we see Glover in ADWD conspiring with Madderly to help the starks and Stannis, so it seems this was not some cunning scheme where he secretly got himself captured.
Interestingly, the graves Brienne sees seem to indicate a crushing victory for Tarly, like the one described by Robb. This however is at odds with the report of Varys, and the fact Clegane had to mop up the leftover army. Now there are a few possibilities for this. Varys could be wrong/lying, heavy losses is being thrown around as a relative term (but that seems suspect), or the total of Tarly dead and Clegane’s role is being hidden. The last seems the most likely, Robb hears of a crushing defeat led by Tarly not Clegane (which we know is at least partially false), the dead he kills don’t add up, and there’s no mention of Clegane whom definitely did some of the work.
Also even assuming the whole situation is true and Tarly killed men at a 2/1 ratio, this assumes there are 500 heroes tombs under the septs at Duskendale. Simply put, there may not be that many. The whole aftermath stinks of a coverup. Tarly is getting Cleganes credit (and interestingly, it’s around now that Tywin decides not to give Clegane to oberyn).
Finally we get to the tinfoily bit. Helman garrisoned with Walder Frey to make sure he kept peace. Of the two lords, Helman is arguably more problematic, he knows more of Frey habits (when Tywin is scheming a betrayal) and his nephew is a possible hornwood claimant (cough Roose cough). If there was a conspiracy to kill one and ransom the other – I can see a world where Talhart is the one to be killed. In all reality though, this is a bit too ambitious, and in reality one just died and one escaped – without some super scheme that Tarly was involved in.
So in summary – once again Tarly fails his mission. At best, he bloodies an out of position army whilst taking heavy casualties, with his reinforcements on the way, and half the army breaks free (admittedly into Clegane). This is not a great display of prowess. We also know its possible to capture these men as hostages, as Clegane successfully does so – and Tarly fails to once again. Now it’s not catastrophic as the Northerners are bleeding men and trading troops tit for tat is beneficial, but the battle itself (the thing Randyll is in charge of) is highly unimpressive. The strategic victory goes to Tywin, whom in truth entrusts it as much to Gregor Clegane as to Tarly. As it so happens, Clegane delivers and Tarly doesn’t.


A summary as a commander

Talk about failing upwards
· Charging ahead, he is able to turn a crushing win into an indecisive one which ultimately leads to Roberts Rebellion succeeding
· He gives counsel to Renly about the sun when renly knows that the sheer strength of his cavalry makes the issue moot. Renly all but ignores him.
· He doesn’t appear to do much during the battle of the blackwater
· He manages to mess up essentially an ambush at Duskendale despite reinforcements being on the way
· As a result of the 4 above points, he is given, lands, titles, honors and a position on the small council.
Upon actually reviewing his achievements and each individual battle, I’ve 180’d on Tarly. George RR Martin does a great job building him up, and having everyone describe him as a great commander, but actually unpacking his battles, he looks pretty underwhelming. The most important battle he won was Ashford, but that was a strategic catastrophe which otherwise could have potentially let Mace Tyrell win the war. Afterwards he’s carefully managed, with Renly outright dismissing him, Mace keeping the key positions of command in other people’s hands and Tywin going so far as to dispatch a trusted force behind him in the event he fails again – WHICH HE DOES.


Politicks, Loyalties and Conspiracies

There’s a lot to get through so I’m not going to source everything here. Rather, I’ll list dot points, and we will be collecting everything under theories. In time it may be worth sourcing this all, but for now, I want to get something out – so it’ll be shortform
· Historically house is blackfyre
· Renly Sworn NOT STANNIS
· Joined at bitterbridge to Renly
· Shadowbaby and killing others
· VIEWS ON MAESTERS
· Killing Stannis supporters at bitterbridge
· Saving Brienne
· Helping Brienne / Bewilderment
· Views on Women and Strongmen
· Sam, Maesters, the Marches and Strength
· Maidenpool Rulership
· Renown amonst common men
· Downplaying the Golden Company
· Bravosi Debts
· Taking the QUEEN ahead of Mace Tyrell

Theoreis Stemming off Data

The Blackfyre Theory

Let’s assume that Randyll supported the Blackfyres because his house traditionally were Blackfyre Loyalists. This is a little thin on evidence, but quite a few of his actions also support this, lending some credence to the theory
1) He swore to Renly not Stannis.
a. Stannis was 17 or 18 when he held storms end. He is approximately 13 years older than Renly, making Renly 5 at the time. This means that during Roberts Rebellion, for all relevant purposes, Renly was a non-participant, whilst Stannis actively fought against the dragons. If Randyll is a dragon supporter, his repulsion at joining Stannis is apparent.
b. In fact, he goes as far as to kill stannis supporters at bitterbridge to consolidate the reach forces. This is interesting as it contrasts stannis whom takes pains to not kill the karstarks to a man once he realizes their treason.
2) He downplays the golden company
a. At the end of AFWC, Randyll is downplaying the golden company as much as he can. If we assume he is pro-dragon, this gives time for the blackfyre cause to swell, as he delays Kevan Lannister to the best of his ability
3) He hates the Maesters
a. Between the Grand Maester Conspiracy [LINK], lady Dustin’s general hatred of Maesters and Marwyn’s comments about Maesters and Dragons, it seems credible that dragon supporters may have cause to mistrust Maesters. Indeed, we get hints of this from Doran, and a general mistrust of Maesters by some of the lesser lords.
i. "I would need a bucket, with this pain. Thank you, but no. I want my wits about me. I'll have no more need of you tonight."
b. This explains also why he is so determined Sam will not become a Maester and why he drives him to the nights watch. If he is a loyalist, he’s never going to let a member of his family into an enemy order. If Sam is given any sort of free reign in a role other than lord, he’s going to end up a Maester (indeed even at the nights watch he ends up there, despite his protests and fears of his fathers wroth).
4) Do we actually see any trouble in the marches. I don’t think we do and it’s only STANNIS who fears dorne through the marches, not Tarly or Tyrell. In fact, this area is left undefended when they march on the blackwater.
a. I have a sub-theory that despite complaining a lot, we don’t see any real antagonism between Dorne and the reach throughout the series, just some loud complaining that makes us think of antagonism. Oberyn hints at this to Tyrion.
5) Killing Florents
a. Florents have ties to Stannis
b. Florents are Tyrell rivals
c. Florents instantly defect to stannis. Note they were set aside by dragons over highgarden
d. Their protests were denied by King Aegon I, perhaps because the Florents had fought House Targaryen when the Tyrells did not.
e. https://www.reddit.com/asoiaf/comments/3tr6gx/spoilers_all_house_of_the_week_house_florent/
i. Theories florents Green
6) This is of course also consistent with him racing Ahead of Mace Tyrell’s army and having the Tyrell queen taken into his personal custody. Unfortunately, this bodes badly for our lovely doe-eyed Margery. Oh well.
7) ~If it were up to me, I would send them all to the Night's Watch, and Connington with them. The Wall is where such scum belong."~ He’s setting it up so the only legitimate claimant of JonCon’s lands is in fact, JonCon. Obviously a new lord can be appointed, but this suggested move adds legitimacy to the blackfyre cause, removing the heir apparent and putting JonCon back in his ancestral lands without a real challenger.

1) The ‘show of strength / toxic masculinity theory’
a. This theory has to do with Tarly appearing competent millirarily rather than being competent. He doles harsh justice and havy discipline, which in some ways hides his lackluster results as a commander. I should note this is the weakest of the three theories, but it sort of feeds into the other two.
b. This would be indicative of his hatred for Sam. The moment the ‘veil’ of masculinity and strength is lifted, his actual achievements are lackluster
c. After ashford he appears much more brutal than before. We have no indication he was brutal pre Ashford, and post ashford he’s executing enemies, cornering and murdering northmen to a man (as best he can at least) and doling out harsher justice than his peers
d. Every character who speaks of Tarly speaks of his millirary accolades. I think his ‘larger than life’ persona has played at least a part in this, and Tarly looks the part as the veteran commander.
e. I ought to note this theory doesn’t stop Tarly from playing the game of thrones, it just suggests he isn’t an exceptional tactical commander. Logistically, he has always been with the winning side as a vassal, he’s been able to spin every battle to gain honors and accolades, and he has a knack for being in the right place at the right time (declaring for renly early, being in the van at ashford etc.)
f. All that aside, this theory also doesn’t stop Tarly from being a jerk. Given how he acts to Sam and both towards and around Brienne, we are naturally inclined to mislike him as a harsh leader.
2) Not as dumb as he looks theory
a. He’s taken the queen into his personal Custody. We literally heard from Renly back in book 1 – he who holds the XXXX holds the crown. With all the chaos in the recent books, it’s easy to miss, but this is a huge move in the game of thrones. The Tyrells do not have the queen. Tarly does.
b. As far as I can tell, he’s never been at real risk in a battle since Ashford. He had backup and numbers at duskendale, a massive host at the blackwater, The Siege of Storms End was just a great big preservation of army by Mace whilst Roberts rebellion raged, and the Siege on Stannis was totally lopsided but for magic shadow-baby.
c. Dorne does not seem to have acted against him once nor demanded concessions. [CHECK]. For a lord in the Dornish Marches which have been tumultuous for years, this is somewhat of a big deal. He also seems to be unafraid of moving his forced forward – we have no indication he left levies to protect himself from Dorne, hinting that he wasn’t afraid of Dorne misbehaving (even if only to harry border towns, a bit like Bolton grabbing up the hornwood lands).
d. He sucks up to the bravosi Banker when all the debts are being called in. We have this picture of this strong, just, military man, but the banker scene shows he’s not just a sword arm, and he knows when to suck up. This is important as it shows he is at least considering the wider world and the future outside of the battles, as opposed to a certain dwarf whom never actually meets the bankers.
e. He has turned a bunch of mediocre achievements into being renowned as the greatest soldier in the realm. By all rights, Stannis and Robb are much better commanders (with the caveat that Robb was only good tactically). If we want to get nasty, Mace Tyrell has only won crushing victories – with the exception of ashford (messed up by Tarly) and storms end (where he lost no troops in a rebellion that depleted most of the realm).
i. The most competent appearing thing he said was to not charge into the sun, which was largely irrelevant when plated heavy cavalry is charging into boiled leather. As Renly said to Stannis, his force wouldn’t survive first impact, so this whole sun business is a bit silly.
ii. Arguably the most competent thing was executing all the soldiers considering going over to Stannis, but I’m not sure if this is truly competent or just brutality – Stannis did not do the same with the Karstarks in a similar position.
f. He’s bypassed succession laws. By getting rid of Sam he has set himself up with his chosen heir. Look at the thorny knot Tywin tied himself with Tyrion, whom still arguably is the rightful heir to Castelry Rock (which he made full use of with the Second Suns). We know Maesters can be kicked out of the order (see our favourite necromancer), and can be used to play with succession (Aemon is a good example, albeit he said no) and I don’t really see Sam as a priest.
i. There’s actually a good question as to whether he would have killed Sam. The gods hate kinslayers, and the threat sufficed. If we assume tarly isn’t an idiot, he would have realized the threat likely sufficient.
g. Given how he sets himself up at Maidenpool, its hinted that the Maidenpool land is part of his reward for the blackwater. We never hear of exactly ‘what’ Tarly’s reward is, except in the aftermath he’s patrolling Duskendale (still seemingly with house Rykker),, Maidenpool and the kings road, and seems to be setting himself up in Maidenpool for the long haul. In AFFC, Tarly’s heir is married off to Eleanor Mooton (the seeming heiress to maidenpool) and Tommen pardons Moonton. Maidenpool is a major port in the world of Ice and Fire, which would make it a fine reward[[1]](#_ftn1).
1.

Other key takeaways

BRIENNE THING

A Feast for Crows - Brienne III

Randyll Tarly solved the mystery the day he sent two of his men-at-arms to summon her to his pavilion. His young son Dickon had overheard four knights laughing as they saddled up their horses, and had told his lord father what they said.

… "The gods made men to fight, and women to bear children," said Randyll Tarly. "A woman's war is in the birthing bed."
Someone was coming down the cellar steps. Brienne pushed her wine aside as a ragged, scrawny, sharp-faced man with dirty brown hair stepped into the Goose. He gave the Tyroshi sailors a quick look and Brienne a longer one, then went up to the plank. "Wine," he said, "and none o' your horse piss in it, thank'e."

JUSTICE THING


Battle of the Blackwater – a step Sideways



In short
Randyll Tarly is a shrewd Blackfyre loyalist who now has custody of the queen, a position on the small council and whom is not considered a political threat. He’s not half the commander he’s made out to be, probably has anti-maester sentiment and is possibly friendly with Doran Martell. And he has an army.
This has been quite a ride and I’m sure I got many details wrong so let’s end on a high note. Given all this, I expect Randyll to sacrifice Margery and prove ser pounce’s lineage to the age of conquest. Tommen will blindly stamp a document marrying himself to the cat, the white walkers will be appeased (their problem is only humans), and everyone lives happily ever after except for Danerys who dies.
Maidenpool
https://preview.redd.it/4gfx1jxsbd1d1.png?width=217&format=png&auto=webp&s=a6c648fe2853a80f249aeae5546a21b38b4123e9

submitted by Orange_Menace1 to asoiaf [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:23 Ok_Twist5185 Am I the problem or are there valid red flags I didn’t see until now

My (33F) fiancé (32M) just moved in together after being together for two years. We got into a massive fight today and I’m not sure if I should even continue the relationship or not. So it’s the last few days we have the condo and there’s still stuff there. My Mom (who lives with me due to age and health issues) and I rented a truck and got some stuff but I still had to work so I didn’t get as much done. Plus she hurt her leg so by Tuesday night she was out of commission. So I ask my fiancée to help me Wednesday and said I would get another U-Haul so we can bring our cats back (new landlord doesn’t know about our cats. Had a friend keep an eye on them while they were at the condo for a night while landlord came to fix some stuff at the new place. They were never alone for long and had plenty of food/water. Etc) and everything at once versus him and I killing our gas. He agreed. Wednesday morning rolls around I wake up, shower, book the truck. I go to wake him up and ask if he can get ready. He said okay but what about my interview. I ask is it in person or virtual. He said virtual by 4:20. I said okay will by then we should be wrapping up and loading the truck so if you need to step out and take the call no worries. He said but I don’t wanna do the zoom there I wanna do it here (place we moved to). That’s when my eye starts twitching cause that would mean I would have to drive the truck back and forth and it was already $100 the day before driving it from old place to new place and back one time. So at that point to me there was no point in fighting it and I said okay and left with my car. Never got the truck again. Did what I could for a few hours before having to take my mother to the er and head to work. I get mom back to the house and ask him to keep an eye on her and get her whatever she needs/help with the dogs cause I don’t want her putting pressure on her leg. He said he would. I get back home, my dogs are still locked up and he’s on the bed not feeling good supposedly (was fine enough later to game on his computer) and I find dog piss/shit in the room that was cold meaning it been there a while. Not trying to lose it, I said okay and cleaned it up and took care of everything. Well now it’s Thursday, mom’s okay at home and I’m at work. He asks what time I get off. I said 6 and he said he would meet me at the condo to help with the cats and heavy boxes. Barely 6:25 and I get a call “babe are you fing kidding me how long does it take” (he says he meant that in like a light matter and not maliciously but I didn’t take it that way). I ask what’s wrong he says he’s been waiting 20 mins and asks how much longer I said idk depends on traffic, could be another 20. He gets more frustrated I ask what does it matter I’m on my way and I’ll get there when I get there. He says it’s hot, waiting is killing his gas etc. and again I say what does it matter how long it takes it’s not like you had to do anything later or have to go to work (on week 6 of him having no job so I’m already stressed trying to figure out how imma pay rent if I have to cover him again). And he says he was helping his friend with a script (he’s an actor) and he has an audition to prepare for next week. I said well that’s why I wanted your help Wednesday so we could get this done faster. I understood he had a zoom interview but I still needed help and it wouldn’t have killed his gas. He said well why is this being put on me. It’s not my shit and I don’t want to be there 4 hours putting knick knacks/pots and pans in boxes all day. Which sets me off cause it confirmed that I was gonna be there doing this by myself. He said i should’ve had it done prior to the move. Which I’m well aware of and didn’t need that thrown in my face. I said well when did I have the time or energy. I work two jobs 5am-10pm every day and all day on weekends. By the time I get home I barely have energy to eat or take the dogs out cause I’m exhausted. He said well there were two people in that condo. I said I’m well aware but my mom is damn near 75 and in stage 3 kidney failure. She does not have the same energy level she did when we moved 7 years ago. She has helped a lot financially with this move and did what her body allowed her to do while packing. At this point of the conversation I was pretty much at a level 10 of upset and just wanted to be alone at this point. I said this wasn’t working and when I get there to just get the cats and go. So I get there 15 mins later, help load the cats and go. I’m already level 10 mad/upset. Even more frustrated I have to kill more of my gas which means I have to pull more $ from my upcoming check to pay for said gas. At that point it is what it is. We get to the new place and unload the cats. While he’s getting their stuff in I start packing a bag to pretty much spend the night at the condo cause stuff still needed to get done and I wanted to be alone to cool off. He said are you spending the night I said yes. Well I’m coming with you i said no I wanna be alone. And he kept pushing and said no I don’t want you side eyeing me about this later and I keep telling him no I don’t want you there I wanna be alone and I locked my car on him. He said if you do this I’m done with you. I said okay. He said okay I’ll call and figure something out with Gus (his actor friend moving to LA to launch his own career), I won’t have you holding me back because you wanna be a brat about some bullshit. I’m the last good thing you’ll have and if I leave you’ll regret it. I said okay bye and left. I drive to the condo. I get food cause I hadn’t eaten since 1:30. And I was a bit more calm after driving and blasting music (it’s how I call myself down besides taking a nap) and I called and told him as calm as a could cause I’m still tearing up and shaking because anxiety. I told him me leaving the house was not me wanting him to leave me and that I still love him but I needed to cool off and I cannot do that with him in the car with me. I was at a level 10 and needed to be by myself for a moment. He says I respect that you called to tell me that and i understand. He says he was an inch away from losing his cool while we were going at it in the driveway and I was about to see a different side of him. He said I turned this into something bigger than it needs to be and how’s he’s here because he loves me not because he needs me. If he wasn’t here he’d be in LA doing what he has to do to be a actor. I said I know that because he’s always telling me that and I explained to him, when he called me complaining about me not getting there in time and him having to wait set me off because again he’s not working what does it matter what time I get there. He says he doesn’t dictate my time and I shouldn’t dictate his. Fair. But again why are we complaining. I know it’s not his stuff and that I should’ve had this done but he should want to help me because he loves me. Not complain about it and then say he will still help me. Cause at that point I already know he doesn’t wanna be there and I’m not gonna force someone to do something they don’t want to do. I’d rather do it by myself and have it take all night if it has to. He said he understood where I was coming from but that we can’t fight this bad over something small every time and have me “throw in the towel”. I’ve told him before when I’m at that level of mad I start saying things I know I will regret because I’m at a fight or flight stance and it’s a trauma response from everything my step-mother and father put me through. I am very go with the flow and will do whatever to keep the peace because I clearly do not know how to control my emotions and will rather say okay and do things myself than to argue about it. Not the best way of handling things I know but that change isn’t gonna happen over night. He said he’s not a monster and treats me well. That any other guy wouldn’t be out looking for a job or treating me as well as he does that if he leaves I will regret it because no one will treat me as well as he does. He was saying he was just bragging to his sister and friends about how perfect I was but then says how my behavior is not consistent like he is. And that im about two more attitudes away from him leaving entirely and I need to watch how I talk to him. In that moment it’s like im back to being a small child getting scolded by my father for something stupid. I said okay well I have some things to think about and will talk to him later. I get to the apartment to calm down so I can call my uncle who is the voice of reason before I call mom because I don’t want her mad cause he will feel that. And I’m thinking idk what to do cause my/our room doesn’t feel I like mine or our room. It feels like his and I just have some clothes in there and sleep in there. Can’t have my dogs in there cause godforbid my Doberman growls at him cause he still hasn’t made an effort with her. Or god forbid my lab pants and annoys him. Or gets curious about the cat and hypes them up cause then they will be up all night. I’ve noticed he has to be in control even when it comes down to how a dog breathes. So it’s like in walking on eggshells and I have my lab/doberman sleep in the guest room cause I’m not trying to upset him. I haven’t had a decent night of sleep since I been here cause he games at night or has the tv on all night long/freezes me with AC. And my dog who I got for my anxiety can’t even sleep in the same room as me. And to me my Doberman being scared of him (she barks and growls at him and immediately runs to her kennel when he enters a room) just sounds off alarm bells in my head for some reason. She’s a guard dog yes but never truly mean. She doesn’t hate men cause she’s loves her pet sitters husband and the guys at Petco. She’s the sweetest child once she accepts you. Then I keep thinking well if a dog panting annoys him what’s gonna happen when there’s a screaming baby at 2 am for 2 hours. Am I gonna be stuck dealing with it by myself. I commend him for knowing what he wants to do and having the drive to do it. I really do. But he has made it very clear that his career will probably always comes first. He always says he’s trying to build a life for us and if I let him do what he has to do we can retire at 40. But for I could care less about what happens 10 years from now. I’m worried and focused about right now. I’m supposed to taking a load off not getting handed more. Instead of working less I’m having to pick up shifts to make sure bills are paid somehow. hes not really helping out at home. sure he will make the bed, clean after the cats, and wash dishes every now and then but other than that he never really leaves the room. i respect that hes studying for his career and all that but i still need help with the dogs and keeping the house afloat. especially now that mom cant be on her ankle rn. he couldnt even be bothered to let his own dog out the other day. I don’t know if it’s me being dramatic or what. But I feel very unsupported and exhausted. I genuinely don’t know what to do and don’t have anyone to turn to.
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2024.05.19 13:23 Neither_Train_8579 2 Memories that plague my mind that shows signs of PTSD that my family refuses to believe that happened

The first one is I (3-4 female at the time) was picked up by my mom's the en boyfriend at the time (21-22 male at the time) from the head start program in my neighborhood which is to teach kids as early as 3 years old. I got in trouble that day for telling a kid who we will can Devon to fuck off because he had been bullying me ever since school started that year. When I got home my mom's then boyfriend whooped my ass because of me cursing and my mom came home and told him he wasn't my father and that he wasn't allowed to put his hands on me. Then that night it was around maybe 11PM I was in the bathroom using the bathroom and after I was done I decided to go through the cabinet under the sink because I had never seen what was under there before. I found a little tape and didn't know what it was but all I knew was the film could come out and I had hella fun taking it out. Reminder I was 3-4 at the time I didn't know better. My mom's then boyfriend caught me and was fuming like if smoke could come out of his ears it would've. He snatched the tape out of my hand and tired to fix it but when he couldn't he picked me up by the cooler of my shirt and tossed me into my room which is kind of right in front on the bathroom. (Which is now his daughter's room.) And I slid and hid my head on my dresser which right in front of my window right across from the bedroom door. And my mom heard the commotion and took me to the doctors and I got stitches. Oh and they're not together now but he still lives with us, my mom gave birth to his first and only child in 2020. He's only here to be apart of her life and help around with the house.
The send story is again when I was younger but only a bit older I had to be around 6 because I was in first grade. I went to school on he bus like I usually did and got my breakfast on the way there. This is were I mention I'm a person of color and the following people I'm about to mention weren't in the slightest. I got both apple juice and orange juice. This group of boys who sat at a table not too far away from me asked me if I wanted to join their little "apple juice race" as they called it. I told them a clear no and they kept trying to insist until I started ignoring them. I naturally drink everything I drink super fast and my teacher who happened to be standing behind me heard everything and I finished breakfast as I normally did but when I was done she pulling me out of the class room aboutthe conversation and I told her that they wouldn't leave me alone and I naturally drink things fast and she could ask me my mom. She thought I told them no but still joined without them knowing and I kept denying it and instead of listening to the crying little girl telling the truth she went with her own thought and gave me detention but the boys who were engaging in peer pressure didn't and here it's literally against the law. So I had to stay after school and my mom picked me up after finding out I had detention and when I explained what happened all she said was "It's a choking hazard so it may have worried her." But that's not a good reason at all to give someone detention that's on my record for life now. I told some people as I got older and they were saying because I'm a child of color she was profiling and she was being racist. I'm not sure though. If she some how find out abt this fuck you Mrs. Fowly I hope your daughter breaks a limb or two. :3 You've literally scared me for life hope ya happy.
So what do you think is his PTSD? Or am I tweekin?
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2024.05.19 13:21 Federal_Machine692 I work as a security guard in a secret government facility, and this is what happened (Part 1)

Buster growled softly, baring his teeth at me as he stood in defiance. His stance rigid and unyielding, his tail stiff, and ears pinned back - he watched my every move with alert eyes.
My 3-year-old German shepherd had intuitively figured out the prospect of an upcoming bath when he saw me reach for the towel, and decided to give me a hard time over it.
“I know buddy. I am not happy about it either. But I will make it quick. I promise,” I tried to reason, holding up both hands to reassure him.
‘But it’s not even been a week…’ I could almost imagine him saying those exact words to me when he growled back in protest.
“You’re right...But listen, man. You’re dirty. I can feel your presence from here,” I said, standing ten feet away and pretending to cover my nostrils with my finger.
Buster, of course, didn’t care and continued to defy without hesitation.
I put my hands on my hip and sighed. My glance immediately shifted to a hose attached to a tap outside my quarters.
“Tell you what. I’ll make it worth your while. You don’t mind the jet spray, right? In fact, you even tolerate it sometimes,” I said, pointing to the hose located only a few feet away.
“How about a little cooperation now, and I’ll make you your favorite meal a little later?” I asked him, while reaching out to pick a can of chicken liver from the kitchen.
As I dangled the can in my hand, I could see it slowly chipping away at his resolve, his mind grappling with the pros and cons of my new proposal.
A moment later, Buster barked at me twice and slowly made his way out of the house. He sat by the garden tap, ready to receive his bath.
I took a handful of lotion and began to rub it against his torso to remove all the muck and grime that was sticking to his body. We had been quite busy lately, guarding the base and conducting multiple patrols along the perimeter every day. The rain a few hours ago certainly didn't help matters, with Buster leaping over puddles of water and actively rolling in the mud to escape the desert heat. I had to use a brush to remove the layers of dirt that had caked all over his body.
It’s been a strange week, to say the least. The days were busy but peaceful, while the nights brought scattered, random sounds. Their origins were a mystery, as they appeared not to originate from the base. But I wasn’t too worried about it, not yet anyway.
There is an air base located a couple of hours away from the facility, and it wasn’t unusual for them to conduct sorties at odd hours in the night. I assumed they were probably testing out some new technology.
My colleague Joe thought the same thing as well. But we couldn’t take any chances, and we both had a job to do. So we conducted regular patrols around the base just as a precautionary measure.
But deep down, I felt something nagging at me, like I was being watched by someone or something. I couldn’t exactly put it into words.
For a second, I wondered if Buster too felt the same way when I saw him suddenly lift his head up, listening intently with his ears up in attention.
I quickly turned back to check if there was anybody standing behind me, but I found no one. When I turned around to face him again, I saw him looking up at the night sky, his gaze focused and unwavering.
“What’s it buddy? You see something?” I asked him as I cleared away the foam from his face. Moments went by slowly. And then, just like that, as if nothing had happened, he put his head down and began pawing my leg, urging me to finish his bath. I sighed again and turned on the hose, to wash off all the soap.
He finally looked presentable and I have to admit, his coat glistened beautifully under the moonlight.
Before I could reach for his towel, Buster swiftly moved in to close the gap between us and looked me in the eye dead serious. He then shook his body vigorously, much like a wet dog trying to rid itself of wetness, and trotted off without bothering to look back.
I laughed out loud as I sat there, drenched in water. I knew I should have seen that coming. However, my smile quickly faded, as it also reminded me of Jessica, my ailing wife.
Before another thought could take shape in my mind, I heard a familiar voice blare across the radio.
“Mike, I need you down here. Get to the post quick.”
It was my colleague Joe and I replied back in the affirmative. I quickly grabbed my gear and signaled Buster to follow after me.
When I reached the post, I saw Joe standing there armed with his rifle. As a seasoned war veteran with two tours under his belt, Joe was a dangerous man and not to be trifled with. But he was also compassionate and wise beyond his years.
“What’s up Joe?” I inquired, as I approached him near the entrance of the base.
“I am not sure yet. I thought I heard something at a distance. It could well be nothing.” he replied, after a brief pause.
‘Well, we’ve had a lot of that going around all week’, I thought to myself.
He then turned around to look at me. “I want you to run a perimeter sweep first. Then go on patrol again. Take Buster with you” he said, before heading back to his post.
I started the jeep and drove out towards the perimeter. The engine hummed softly as I navigated the rough terrain, with Buster sitting alertly beside me. After finding nothing suspicious during my initial sweep, I decided to broaden my search radius.
A mile into the drive, Buster suddenly started barking, prompting me to stop the jeep immediately. He leaped onto the ground and dashed towards a boulder located a short distance away. I picked up my rifle and cautiously followed after him.
When I reached the spot, I keyed the mic attached to my shirt and said, "Boss, you need to come see this."
I knew he wasn’t going to be happy about leaving the guard post unmanned, but I thought he would prefer to come and inspect this himself.
Joe arrived ten minutes later, parking his vehicle next to mine. He walked towards the boulder overlooking a small pond, and switched on his torch to get a better look at the skeletal remains of an animal dumped nearby. Three other animal remains lay next to it, all appearing to be in a similar condition.
“These look like coyotes, probably stopping by to drink water from the pond before they were killed,” he observed, his voice expressing concern. “Did you find them like this?”
“Yes”, I replied. “And they weren’t here when I drove through the same place this morning. I thought it was quite odd to be honest, to find four of them out here all at once in the middle of the desert, that too at this hour.”
Joe simply nodded in agreement.
“What sort of creature do you think did this Joe?”
“I mean it must have a ravenous appetite to chew every sinew of flesh from the bone, and lick it this clean.” I said, leaning in take another look.
“Do you think it could be the Chupacabra or something similar?” I continued, knowing fully well my question was a bit far-fetched, but I had to still get it off my chest.
Joe finally stood up, switched off his torch, and looked around the vast open desert in quiet contemplation.
“This is in fact the fifth sighting in less than a week, Mike, and all have occurred in close proximity to secure government installations. The one before this was even stranger, and happened near a military base, where an old buddy of mine continues to serve.”
“He told me in that instance, the remains belonged to a dog. There were no signs of flesh or connecting tissue from the nasal region to the abdominal section, while the region spanning from the abdominal cavity to the tail bone was left fully intact. The whole thing was carried out with surgical precision, and drew morbid praise from even the medic back at the base.”
"But how is that even possible? What are you suggesting, Joe?" I asked, surprised by the tone of my own voice and my inability to hide my disappointment upon hearing about it for the first time.
“This is not a hunt for prey, Mike. This is a hunt for attention. Somebody is trying to make a point. And I’d say they are accomplishing their objective.” Joe said.
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2024.05.19 13:20 EconomyBright The videos "Chivalry is dead": Your opinion

I keep seeing here and there the videos where women seem to be standing in some kind of public transport while men are sitting, with caption "Chivalry is dead" or some videos where some guy seems to be helping out a woman with the caption "Chivalry is not dead". And I just feel weird about these videos.
So what is Chivalry? A Google search gives me the meaning as "polite and kind behaviour by men which shows respect towards women".
And if I refer some dictionaries - it says they are the qualities of the ideal knight or a gentleman and one among them is to show courtesy and consideration especially to women.
Courtesy and consideration - I feel are good qualities to have no matter who and no matter which gender. And I believe it should be displayed irrespective of age or gender.
Now coming to the videos I am seeing, where the women have to stand in a public transport like metros or buses where as men are sitting, does it really need to be taken as marker for Chivalry? I mean, unless they are making a pregnant woman stand or maybe an old person stand or maybe an injured person not having a seat, I don't understand why any other man should give up their seat in a setting where you sit based on "sit wherever it's free", unless ofcourse they are sitting in a reserved seat.
If you are sick but do not look sick, I feel it's ok to ask for a seat or some space. I feel, even men would be tired after a long day. Even some of them also might be having a bad day or sick day or some pain as well, so in my opinion, in today's world it's not really fair to expect a man would get out of their seat and offer it to you.
Honestly, sometimes, I even feel offended if someone tries to "help" me for something I'm perfectly capable of doing as well. Maybe it's just me. I'm okay with sincere efforts but being seen as a weak gender who needs to be taken care of and protected always is not something I think we should propagate.
Rather, the idea of chivalry itself is good. Having honour and integrity, being courteous, being considerate, sticking to your words or promises. These are things everyone should practice.
What are your opinions?
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2024.05.19 13:19 Express-Potential-11 Three Bodies of Buddha: From the mouth of Linji

Quotes from Sasakis Record of Linji book. Seriously the notes are super thorough. Google it, get a PDF or buy it for 27 bucks on Amazon. Read all of it including the notes.
I'll post the quote, relevant notes, and my thoughts so it has some original content and this isn't just some ctrl c Ctrl p post.
““If you wish to diff er in no way from the patriarch-buddha, just don’t seek outside. “The pure light in a single thought of yours—this is the dharmakāya buddha within your own house. The nondiscriminating light in a single thought of yours—this is the saṃbhogakāya buddha within your own house. The nondifferentiating light in a single thought of yours—this is the nirmāṇakāya buddha within your own house. This threefold body is you, listening to my discourse right now before my very eyes. It is precisely because you don’t run around seeking outside that you have such meritorious activities.
Note
The pure light… within your own house In this passage Linji speaks of the human body as a house that is the dwell- ing place of the trikāya, the threefold body of buddha 三身, which reveals its presence through the three aspects of each instant of human thought. Th e three bodies of the trikāya are:
  1. Dharmakāya 法身: the unconditioned, absolute buddha, beyond all form. Th e dharmakāya is buddha viewed as truth itself, and as such is the essence of wis- dom and purity. Linji is referring to this latter attribute when he characterizes the light of the mind in its fi rst manifes- tation as 清淨 (Skr., pariśuddha), that is, pure and free from any defi lement. Th e dharmakāya is symbolically represented by Vairocana Buddha, whose name means “omni- present light,”
  2. Saṃbhogakāya 報身: the “reward” or “recompense” body. Th is is the body that a buddha receives as a reward for fulfi ll- ing the vows taken during bodhisattva- hood. It is defined under two aspects: as the body received for the buddha’s own enjoyment 自受用身, and as that received for the sake of others 他受用身. In this second aspect the saṃbhogakāya reveals itself to the bodhisattvas, to whom alone it is traditionally said to be visible, in order to enlighten and inspire them. A typical representation of the saṃbhogakāya is Amitābha/Amitāyus Buddha.
  3. Nirmāṇakāya 化身 or 應身: the body that the buddha assumes when, in human form, he appears in the world for the purpose of bringing enlightenment to others. A typical representation of the nirmāṇakāya is Śākyamuni Buddha.
Th e doctrine of the threefold body of bud- dha is confi ned to Mahayana Buddhism, although undoubtedly its origin can be found in ideas that arose in the older Bud- dhist traditions.
Me:
We can see right from the get go, interpreting the trikaya as something outside is the nonzen way of going about it. Trying to understand them apart from ourself is seeking outside. The notes make it clear that no one considered Shakymuni to have more than one body, the "bodies" were represented by other Buddhas, these other Buddhas are from various sutras.
““According to the masters of the sutras and śāstras, the dharmakāya is regarded as basic substance and the saṃbhogakāya and nirmāṇakāya as function. From my point of view the dharmakāya cannot expound the dharma. Th erefore a man of old said, ‘Th e [buddha-]bodies are posited depending upon meaning; the [buddha-]lands are postulated in keep- ing with substance.’ So we clearly know that the dharma-nature body and dharma-nature land are fabricated things, based on dependent understand- ing. Empty fi sts and yellow leaves used to fool a child! Spiked-gorse seeds! Horned water chestnuts! What kind of juice are you looking for in such dried-up bones!
Notes:
According to the masters…. Compare this passage to the words of Linji’s teacher Huangbo in the cf:
A buddha has thre e b o dies. The dharmakāya preaches the dharma of the universal voidness of self-nature; the saṃbhogakāya preaches the dharma of the universal purity of things; the nirmāṇakāya preaches the dharmas of the six pāramitās [see page 211, below] and all other good practices. Th e dharma of the dharmakāya cannot be grasped through words, sounds, forms, or the written word. Th ere is nothing to be said, nothing to be demonstrated; there is nothing other than the universal voidness of self-nature. Th us it is said, “Th ere is nothing to be preached as the dharma; this is called preaching the dharma.” Th e saṃbhogakāya and the nirmāṇakāya both appear in response to particular circumstances, and the dharma they preach corresponds to outer con- ditions and to their listeners’ capacities; in this way they guide sentient beings. None of this is the true dharma. There- fore it is said, “Th e saṃbhogakāya and the nirmāṇakāya are not the true buddha, nor are they the ones who preach the dharma.” (t 48: 382a)
Dependent understanding translates 依通, an unusual term that is not found outside of Chan writings. Japanese com- mentators take it to be an abbreviation of the phrase 依倚通解, “understanding that depends upon something else.” In the section of the gy devoted to Nanquan Puyuan, an exchange between Nanquan and a certain monk is recorded:
Th e monk asked, “Is a student not permit- ted to understand the Way?” Th e master said, “To understand what Way? Also, how understand?” “I don’t know,” the monk said. Th e master said, “Not knowing is all right, but if you take my words you will be called one of dependent understanding.” (x 68: 70a)
Th e wl of Huangbo Xiyun has:
But to one who has seen into his own nature, what place is not his own original nature? Th erefore the six gati (destinies); the four ways of birth; and the mountains, rivers, and great earth, all are the pure and bright substance of our own nature. Therefore it is said, “Seeing form is no other than seeing mind, because form and mind are not diff erent.” One who accepts form and, on this basis, sees, hears, and perceives, and who then tries to see into [nature] by reject- ing things as such—such a one will fall into the ranks of those in the two vehicles [śrāvakas and pratyekabuddhas], whose understanding is dependent 依倚通解. (x 68: 21b)
Empty fi sts and yellow leaves used to fool a child! translates the two expres- sions 空拳黃葉、用誑小兒, metaphors for something that is passed off for what it is not. They are found frequently in the Nirvana Sutra and other scriptures. The Mahā-prajñā-pāramitā Sutra, for example, uses the expression “empty fi st” 空拳 as a metaphor for deceiving others with false views:
It is like deceiving a young lad with an empty fi st. Because he is ignorant he thinks there is something real in it. (t 7: 1104c)
And the Northern Nirvana Sutra uses “yellow leaf ” 黃葉 to indicate expedient teachings:
It is as, when a child cries and wails, its father and mother will pull a yellow leaf from a poplar tree and say, “Don’t cry! Don’t cry! We will give you a piece of gold.” Th e child, on seeing the yellow leaf, imagines it to be pure gold and at once stops crying, though in truth this poplar leaf is not gold. (t 12: 485c)
Dried-up bones translates 枯骨, an expression likely deriving from an alle- gory that is found in texts like the Zhengfa nianchu jing 正法念處經 (Sutra on con- templating the true dharma) and the Da baoji jing, in which a dog licking a dried bone mistakes its own saliva for juice from the bone.
Me: I think it's pretty obvious just from these bits that the three body of Buddha has nothing to do with the man Siddhartha Gautama. We can also see that they are founded in Buddhist Sutras. Most of what Zen masters say is based on their understanding of sutras. These terms were expedients, like literally all of the teachings of Buddha and all the Zen masters. Gold leaves to stop children crying, a phrase which also originated from a sutra
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2024.05.19 13:19 nobody_unbothered AITA breaking up with my ex and ignoring him

I'm (23F) and my ex (24M) had been friends for 4 years before we got into a relationship, his family knows our relationship while my family doesn't know about it since my parents are strict he still agree to our relationship, I only told my close cousin about him, he was kind and gentleman when we were friends. Due to a lack of communication, we both don't want to confess or talk about our problems in our relationship which is not a good thing we only talk about it after our cool off, he is the one who always wants a breakup and also the one reached out first to fix our relationship. In 3 years of our relationship we have always been on and off.
In those 3 years, I realized a lot about how our relationship became toxic i noticed how he negged me like he would always send me TikTok videos of beautiful girls and tell me that "I should go on a diet so I would look prettier like those girls" I was shocked about that my height is (4'11) and my weight is (48) I know that I'm chubby and I have a chubby face which is the most I'm insecurities about. My looks are just average I know I'm not that beautiful compared to other girls but it hurts me the most since he had become my friend for years even though he has been my boyfriend for years. I didn't go on diet like he said, I also found out almost 3 years later that after a few months of starting our relationship he chat his crush "I love you" She is an influencer so there is a chance that they could be together I started questioning why would he want me when he loves other girl and he didn't even tell me that even though we promise to be honest when it comes to, so I broke up with him this time since I felt I don't know him anymore and due to my mental health there were times that I didn't want to talk to anyone for a few days, weeks, became months even to my family I don't talk about them about my own problems. My friends told me that I should comeback to him, since he is good to me( I didn't tell anyone what he did or the reason why we broke up).
Almost a year when he reached out to me again to have closure and fulfill our plan when we were in a relationship and that was going on dates and having a deep talk. I'm not planning to be with him again I just give it a try talking about our relationship I think it's a good thing to create memories that we always want so I could tell myself that I tried my best to work out our relationship even though it wouldn't last. However, shouting at me in public was the last straw to cut ties with him I would always remember that time like it was yesterday I didn't do anything or give him a reason to shout at me like that we were just talking after that accident, I just got along with him and that was the time I felt uncomfortable and unsafed around him(it's giving me social anxiety). When I went home that night, I waited until he was not online on his social media I messaged him that I didn't want him to text me anymore and not to expect anything from me also that this was the last time he would hear from me and it's better for the both us to part our ways and moved on.
He texted me the next morning but I didn't seen or reply to his messages after a few months he texted me again but I ignored it. I also made another account without adding him even as a friend. After a year of our breakup, he still stalking with my social media and reached out to me so I pretended to be in love with someone else on my social media (that person don't exist either)since I told him that he would be my 1st and last boyfriend.
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2024.05.19 13:19 SoSolidKerry Journey so far of herniated disc (including what's worked for me)

Hello, one and all. Been lurking for a while. Thought I'd share my experience thus far. I'm a 45-year-old female who herniated L4/L5 in early January. I'm, therefore, four months, two weeks post-injury.
It's a mild-ish protrusion pressing on nerves and causing sciatica. I have never had back pain. I'm a Brit. I plan to get over this conservatively and do not intend to have any injections or surgery. Note that I have some trouble lifting my left foot and walking as normal on that side, but everything is functional. I am able to lift my toes and heels, and I have full sensation everywhere.
From my scan, disc height is compromised only a tiny bit (I have juicy discs). I have a very wide and spacious nerve canal. No other issues aside from a transitional disc below (born with more bone than disc at L5/S1, very common, and I'm luckily in the "won't cause pain" camp) and a slight bulging disc above, which isn't pressing on anything. The transitional disc is likely to have led to this injury. But moving house finally pushed me over the edge, lifting things the wrong way.

The first month

The first month was obviously painful. Terrible sleep; sciatica was awful (burning in my left calf and left foot with some right foot tingling), and I was very stiff and leaning forward most mornings. Doing McKenzie cobras in those early days helped massively. And amazingly, I kept up with walking and averaged 15,000 steps daily. It wasn't painful. But I was taking Ibuprofen and paracetamol. I believe a lot of my sciatica has been caused by inflammation.
Back then, I was seeing a physio and doing some basic pelvic tilts, bridges, calf stretches, cat/camels, and – like I mentioned – cobra poses. Otherwise, I would mostly lie on the floor, on my front, resting. Or walking outdoors. It would take me three hours just to pluck up the courage to shower. And I could only stand under the hot water for less than a minute before lying on the floor again. Sitting was impossible. I couldn't use the car. I couldn't sleep on my left side. I would crawl down the stairs each morning after barely any sleep and go straight to the drugs. I couldn't make breakfast or do anything. But as each day wore on, I'd become less stiff and more upright and be able to walk for miles.

In search of a silver bullet

I tried everything in February and March. Acupuncture, physio, McKenzie stuff... They put me on Amitriptyline initially, but I hated it. And so they gave me Gabapentin. This helped with sleep and dialled down the pain significantly (I was on 300mg three times a day). I vaguely remember a crazy day when I walked into my local town, sat, and had cake and tea with an old friend. Still to this day, I can't figure out how! Boy, those drugs worked!
By the end of March, I discovered Egoscue and began posture therapy. I did it religiously for six weeks and even began working with a therapist. But it wasn't helping. And I didn't see any improvements. I also decided to come off the Gabapentin during this time, as I felt totally off my face and hated it.
Around February, I also discovered Dr Stuart McGill. And read his excellent book, Back Mechanic. I learnt about spine hygiene and loads of other helpful stuff. Gradually, little by little, turning in bed got easier (brace that core) and getting up out of bed and off the toilet became pain-free, too. But I just wasn't seeing massive improvement.

Finding the right approach

That's when I decided to see a Master Clinician under McGill. Wow. It was the best money I had ever spent, and I'd spent more on acupuncture!
He went through my scan, was the only one to tell me about the transitional disc, and asked what I'd been doing thus far. He recommended that I give the posture therapy and the walking a break, just for a few weeks, to see if we could calm the inflammation down. And so I did. I rested. I mostly lay on the floor on my front or back and only moved around the house. No outdoor walking. No McKenzie cobra poses (which I've since discovered do more harm than good long-term and adopt a gentler version McGill recommends and says is just as effective). That was back in early April. And following his advice alone? I saw immediate improvements. In fact, the very next day, I was pain-free for seven hours. I couldn't believe it – just by resting.
I only rested for three weeks, and then I decided to try walking outdoors again. My gosh. The difference after the break! I could barely do ten minutes around the block without pain. It was too much. (I could never walk first thing before either – only later on in the day. But it would usually be fine.) But my back specialist wanted me to try walking three times a day, starting small. So, I persisted. He told me to stop if walking made things worse, though. Thankfully, it's been three weeks since I began walking outdoors again, and I'm making great progress. I can now get up from bed and walk immediately (I had to give it an hour before I ventured out of the house). And I can walk for half an hour, too. Three times a day. I find that a morning walk is crucial. I am stiff and a little sore at first, but it eases. And sets me up for the day. I also enjoy two or three hours of no pain when returning home.

Finally seeing progress

Since early April, the improvements have been gradual but almost daily. They're so small sometimes that you hardly notice them! It's only when you look back that you realise how far you've come!
In the six weeks since I worked with my back specialist, I have seen the constant burning sciatica in my foot and calf mostly disappear. Initially, I had a lot of fuzzing. That has now subsided, and since then, it's gone from fuzzing to cold water feelings and tingling... with occasional burning again (mostly only in the top of my calf), but that goes quickly. Now and again, I'll get a random ten minutes of a burning foot again, but it soon disappears.
A few weeks ago, I started getting new sharp and painful jolts in my left hip. That's apparently blood returning to the nerves. For the last week, I have barely had any foot or calf issues—I mostly have sharp pulling nerve pain on my left kneecap and similar symptoms in my hip. Only in the last month have I occasionally started to get a bruised feeling in my lumbar spine.
The morning stiffness and leaning forward? Gone. I am bolt-upright every morning and feel pretty good, posture-wise. Funny enough, since I quit doing the posture therapy. Go figure!
My glutes are very tight and constantly holding themselves. I'm trying to teach them to relax, but it's tough, as I know they're protecting themselves. I've been using heat to relax them—just a microwaved wheat sack some mornings.
Under a week ago, I came off Gabapentin. And I also quit Ibuprofen about five weeks ago. The only meds I take now are paracetamol – just one dose in the middle of the night to calm my (good) right hip that gets sore from only sleeping on that side.

How far I've come

Here I am, four months and two weeks post-injury. I still can't sit on a soft surface (I use a special sciatica cushion on a dining chair), I can't sit in a vehicle for the same reason, I can't sleep on my left side, and I still have some mild foot drop but am walking better.
On a positive note, the pain symptoms are changing daily, which is apparently a good sign. I am starting to feel some back pain for the first time, too. Centralisation is perhaps occurring. Instead of lying on the floor for several hours before breakfast, I now find better relief in standing and moving around. I can also sit for short spurts on my dining chair first thing in the morning, whereas before, I'd only be able to do that from midday.
I'm sleeping better. Six or seven hours a night. It's a tad broken, but I feel rested. And when I get up in the morning? Whereas before, my left leg and foot would go crazy with fuzzing and burning, now? Nothing. A mild tingling some mornings, but otherwise, fine.
I spend more of my days moving around, standing, walking, and occasionally sitting than "resetting" on the floor. And when I do feel sciatica getting worse, a brief rest on the floor makes the pain go away. It's never 100 per cent pain-free, you understand. It's mildly uncomfortable and feels like it could get worse at any moment, but I'm good.
And I'm finding that if I overdo it, any flare-up I might have is brief and easily overcome. Whereas before, it might've been five days to recover, now it's an hour resting on the floor.
If I stand at my standing desk for too long, my lumbar ache begins. It's not painful. It just feels weird—bruised, almost unstable, like I can feel it stacked. I lie down, reset, and then I'm good to go.

What has really helped

I now know what to do to avoid triggering pain. I can tie my shoes with my foot on a bench and lunge in. I have a shoe horn – a game-changer! I also use a strapped-on ice pack when I need to calm my nerves. Less so these days. And heat on my ass when the glutes feel too tight. I only take paracetamol in the middle of the night to help me sleep. Oh, and I find going to bed with an ice pack on sometimes really helps!
The meds definitely helped in those painful early days; but I need feedback. Once I felt I could, I stopped taking everything.
During this time, I also hired a cleaner (fortnightly) and a gardener. I've not stopped working (I have no choice; I am a freelancer). And I have no kids. So I don't have to commute anywhere. I stay at home and rest, and the only time I leave the house is to walk. I also invested in a new mattress, a game changer (John Ryan Artisan Luxury, if anyone wants to know). I am very lucky in all of these respects, I know.
The walking really helps – but it was only when I stopped, rested, and allowed by body to heal that I noticed a difference in my symptoms.

What's next?

I'm nowhere near ready to begin strength training. And I've avoided all physio and stretching of late. I am just doing what my back specialist recommends. Some mild cat/camels to get the blood flowing, walking, resting. I take magnesium, turmeric, vitamins D and B12, omega-3. I try to avoid sugar and alcohol (I don't always succeed on that one). I'm not ready for longer walks yet. And there's no way I could take a bath, sit up in bed, or sit on the sofa.
But I am healing. This has been quite the journey, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm excited for the next phase of recovery: rehab! And boy, will I be taking it seriously—for the rest of my life! It's down to us, after all. No one can do it for us.
There are some big life events coming up that I know I'm not ready for. When they get closer, if I'm still not better, I will call my GP and ask for advice. Ibuprofen might be brought out again. Perhaps even something stronger. But if I'm one of the lucky ones, I should be seeing further progress in the coming weeks and months.
I rate my ability to function normally when I can sleep on my left side again, drive my car and when I can sit on the sofa, too! I won't mind if there is some residual pain and weakness. As long as I can function without having the crux of a floor and yoga mat nearby.
I am more than happy to answer any questions. I hope this has helped someone. It's certainly helped me to get it all on screen. And I wanted to thank this community for all I've learned this year. I hope you're not in too much pain.
submitted by SoSolidKerry to Sciatica [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:18 pillowcase-of-eels [Music] Emilie Autumn's Asylum, pt. 6 – High-concept musician responds to online criticism by waging successful attrition war against her own fanbase

🪞
Welcome back to the Asylum write-up, where we explore the decade-long slow-motion car crash that is the Emilie Autumn fandom.
Sorry this installment took so long to upload! Just a heads-up, I may take some time to deliver the last one too – these posts take forever to format on Reddit's finicky-ass editor, and my dumb real life is currently keeping me from precious Internet time. Thank you for your patience! You have my word that everyone who pre-ordered the final installment will receive a PERSONAL, HANDWRITTEN letter autographed and illustrated by me, a list of the snacks I consumed while composing this write-up, some exclusive behind-the-scenes secrets, and a pony.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4.1Part 4.2 Part 5
Places, everyone This is a test Throw your stones Do your damage Your worst, and your best (...) And if I had a dollar For every time I repented the sin And commit the same crime I'd be sitting on top of the world today (“God Help Me”, 2006🎵)
Quick recap of where we left off. First, there were five to ten halcyon years of pleasant and meaningful interactions between EA and her blossoming fanbase, prominently by way of her official forum. Then, circa 2009-2010, EA's online presence shifted towards sudden anger outbursts, ban-hammering, and an increasingly top-down communication style.
This created a sort of primordial rift within the fanbase, between those who supported EA's right to speak her mind and regulate her own fan spaces however she pleased – and those who thought that her reactions were rude and inappropriate (at best), and that even fan spaces should allow for reasonable, non-abusive criticism of the artist.
Between a poorly-handled book release (see Part 3), the controversial (Part 2) or dubiously true (Part 4) contents of said book, and serious shade from various former collaborators (Part 5), more and more fans had pressing thoughts about EA's work ethic and choices. EA attempted damage control through drastic forum rules that made it virtually impossible to voice any “serious” critical opinion. It didn't work, of course: instead of squashing the mutiny, she created a schism.
Critical fans and active haters started congregating on unofficial platforms.

“WITH MUFFINS LIKE THIS, WHO NEEDS ENEMIES?”: TROLL LIKE A GIRL

So here we were, the early 2010s. The official forum (which had about 700 members in 2006, if you recall) was now thousands-strong, reaching just over 12,000 registered users in 2012 – not all of them active, but still. In terms of sheer numbers and content creation, the party was POPPIN'... but increasingly in parts of the Asylum that escaped EA's jurisdiction, such as Tumblr, where they could speak their mind freely.
You play the victim very well You've built your self-indulgent hell You wanted someone to understand you Well, be careful what you wish for, because I do (“I Know Where You Sleep”, 2006🎵)
In one wing of Asylum Tumblr, a smattering of call-out blogs emerged, which laid out EA's various lies, faux pas, shitty takes, and general deep-seated terribleness in detailed timelines and screenshots (or, short of that, long-winded bullet points). While many such blogs framed it as “serious” whistleblowing and did their best to remain as fact-based and neutral as they could, there was some genuine disgust, animosity and creepiness towards EA on that side of Tumblr; for some ex-fans, “exposing the truth” was mostly justify obsessive hatred, prying and verbal abuse. Some, for instance, felt the bizarre need to side with EA's mother in their estrangement. (One user, with the URL “emilyautumnfischkopf”, argued in a serious and down-to-earth tone - but with zero sources - that EA's upbringing had been nothing but peaceful and supportive until she ungratefully kicked her loving family to the curb for no reason at all. They were later revealed 🔍 to have an alternate handle as “eaisalyingcunt”.)
Either way, through these blogs, a number of potential drama bombs that had mostly flown under the radar were dredged up from over the years – some of which were hard to ignore, even for supportive fans. Where to begin?
There was that nonsense in-joke song, captured twice on camera during the 2009 tour (to very little outrage, at the time), crassly called “Manatee Retard”📺. Or EA's scathing response, in print, to a wheelchair user who found it insensitive that she used a bedazzled wheelchair as a prop to do sexy acrobatics on stage. (“Your offence taken at my hard-won self-acceptance proves that I indeed have something to fight against”, she wrote). Spoken word tracks where she made trivializing knock-knock jokes about serious mental illnesses she didn't have, like schizophrenia and OCD. Multiple instances of calling Britney Spears a “bimbo” and a “Hollywood fucked-up”, resentfully claiming that she only shaved her head because she was “hopped up on drugs” and certainly not because she was “bipolar”, a word the press liked to wield as an insult anyway. (“That's almost like calling someone a retard!” Yeah, heaven forbid.) The meanest, most distasteful paragraphs in the book. Basically everything problematic EA had ever said or written.📝 In retrospect, it had been a long time coming, but it was a lot to take in – and certainly more off-putting, even to less emotionally invested fans, than silly lies about her age and last name.
In another wing of Asylum Tumblr, some fans had had it up to here and just wanted to have fun. 🎵 If Plague Rats had learned one valuable lesson from EA, it was how to crack a joke in the face of absurd tragedy – and the general state of the EA fandom certainly warranted a few.
In 2012, Fight Like a Girl was released. After six long years, three of which had been peaceful, the Opheliac era was officially over. The new album and ensuing tour confirmed that the Asylum had entered a process of glamorous Broadway-style militarization. 🎵📺
The mood board was “Roman general meets Vegas showgirl meets Victorian street urchin”.🪞 The color palette was, to naysayers, “musty pink and rotten, stale piss yellow”. 🐀 The keyword was “REVENGE” (through the power of... self-expression! sorority! brutal assault with rusty medical implements!). The chorus of the title song had an intriguing run-on line about getting “revenge on the world, or at least 49% of the people in it” 🎵 – which seemed like an awful lot, and was widely interpreted (to cheers, boos, or uncomfortable sighs) as a misandrist jab at literally all men on Earth.
The show was essentially a demo version of the musical, in that the setlist vaguely reflected the order of events in the story – but prior reading was essential in order to get what the hell was going on on stage. This one Broadway reviewer had not perused the literature before seeing the show 🔍, and hated: the set, the choreography, the skits, the plot, the lyrics, the music, the concept. (Seriously, you should read the review. It's not even my show and I feel like quitting show business.)
Pre-show VIP encounters, now violin-free, were lorded over by EA's new manager🐀, whose official title was “Asylum Headmistress”. (Interesting choice – she sounds fun!) The swag bags were less substantial than before, and the “greet” part of the meet-and-greet was rarely more than a quick hug and photo op.
On Twitter, EA continued to embrace her “I am very badass” fronting attitude...
Often wonder if cyberbullies r aware they’re fucking w/ a girl who’s BFs w/ maker of the SAW films & is marrying a knife-throwing scorpion. (🐀📝)
...and her taste for needlessly inflammatory statements. About an aisle sign in a supermarket:
If this does not infuriate you, then you're a fucking potato.
(Again with the confounding crypto-ableism, EA! 🔍) She also went through a phase of raging against Lady Gaga 📝, who had stolen her idea of using a wheelchair on stage as an able-bodied woman. 🔍 That failed to convince anyone that she wasn't the histrionic diva that haters made her out to be.
Spurred on by EA's rallying cries and “us vs them” mentality, loyalists turned the white-knighting up to 11. On Twitter, some Plague Rats got into cat fights with Lady Gaga's Little Monsters (what a time to be alive). Others tried to balance out the Tumblr negativity with initiatives like “Spreading a Plague of Love” – a “positive-only” confession blog, whose extreme fangirling, comically drastic rules and hyper-defensive tone📝 did not debunk the increasingly popular notion that “true Plague Rats” were a bunch of authoritarian and hopelessly brainwashed fanatics.
EA truthers and other anti-fans started lashing out at anyone who dared express any positive opinion of EA, solidifying claims that the backlash against EA was just a conspiracy of bitter, hysterical bullies.
All this to say: every passing day brought new reasons for fans to get mad at EA and each other, and everyone in the Asylum was in need of a laugh. It's not easy having a good time.🦠
Leading up to Fight Like a Girl and in the years that followed, user-submission-based meme blogs took off, most notably “Spreading a Plague of Lulz / Troll Like a Girl”. A lot of the early submissions were absurdist humor and toothless, cheezburger-Impact memes (a style that was, oddly, already dated at the time). Those often originated in good fun, and from loyal fans, on the official forum. But there was also true snark, satirizing EA's questionable ethics, outrageous claims, and easily spoofed artistic gimmicks. A new slang of Asylumspeak emerged: Glittertits (slight NSFW), GAGA!!, EA Gusta and all its memeface variants, Get outta mah house!, Are You Suffering?, Fight Like A Goat, [Random celebrity] copied EA (a subgenre in its own right), ...
Most of the “trolling” was directed at unrepentant bootlickers and, to a lesser extent, red-in-the-face haters and creeps. Meme blogs would post joke comments under “serious” or gushing submissions on Wayward Victorian Confessions, and taunt loyalist accounts by tagging them in their posts. When a few people complained on WVC that almost all of the Bloody Crumpets to date had been thin white able-bodied women, and a few fans responded by sharing their dream-casts for a more diverse line-up, the blog was flooded for days with confessions that “X should be a Crumpet” (candidates included RuPaul, Mitt Romney, Nicki Minaj, EA's therapist, and the WVC admins). Farcical shenanigans like that.
Ah, but some people will always cross the line, won't they. EA threads popped up on merciless, bully-friendly snark platforms like Lolcow, Pretty Ugly Little Liar, and Encyclopedia Dramatica. Snarkers with a mean streak and obsessive haters mingled in some of the more aggressive, 4-chan-spirited retaliation against EA – which would be called “brigading” in modern parlance. This included flooding EA's Goodreads page with one-star reviews (see part 4), repeatedly editing her Wikipedia page to include her legal name and birth year, and ensuring that Googling said name would bring up current pictures of her.
All of this compounded agitation fragmented the once-united fandom beyond recognition.🦠 Through substantial disagreements among fans, personal bickerings, layers upon layers of inscrutable in-jokes, and cross-platform telephone games, the Asylum morphed into a booby-trapped Escher room.
Satire blogs were taken in earnest. Earnest fan blogs scanned as satire. Memes would get called out as abuse. Appreciation without attached criticism would get mocked as bootlicking. Obvious jokes made by EA would be taken at face value. One divisive confession could trigger days and days of debate, to the point that WVC eventually banned confessions in response to other confessions. New waves of infighting created a confusing web of rival sub-factions🐀, each accusing the others of being toxic, cliquish, and delusional.
The shared fantasy was broken, the collective vision had crumbled, no onez was speaking the same language anymore. Fans would jump down the throat of other fans who held almost identical views about EA, except for that one thing she said or did that one time. Everyone had differing thoughts on what should or shouldn't acceptable to discuss, question, excuse, make fun of.
War is hell.

SCORCHED EARTH SHENANIGANS: HONEY, I SHRUNK THE ASYLUM

Would you tear my castle down Stone by stone And let the wind run through my windows Till there was nothing left But a battered rose? (“Castle Down”, 2003🎵)
Haters vs sycophants is not really the kind of conflict where one side can come out on top (if you're participating, you've already lost). But in the long tug-of-war between “grassroots” and “EA-sponsored” fan spaces, the ultimate winner is obvious – in that the former is gasping in agony, a shriveled husk of its former glory, while the latter... is non-existent. This is due in no small part to EA's tendency, like the Czars of old, to settle conflicts by setting Moscow on fire.🔍)
That's not entirely fair: unlike EA, the czar only did it that once.
By early 2013, as EA was gearing up for her third Fight Like a Girl tour at the end of the year, the official forum was... not as lively as it once had been. Not just because of the stifling rules and disgruntlement towards EA, or because EA herself hadn't really posted anything on there in years; the Internet was also changing, and forums in general were fast becoming passé.
This made it difficult for EA to create a safe space where she could talk to fans, and fans could talk to and about her, in a way she deemed suitable (ie, a space she could gate-keep and regulate enough to keep it completely free from negative criticism). Social media was a minefield; she still posted regularly, but didn't interact very much. So EA and the Headmistress came up with a way to filter out the unbelievers: an official fan club📝, aptly called the “Asylum Army”, with a $100 entry price.
Joining the AA came with a dog tag, a sew-on patch, and a lifetime membership certificate signed by EA and – for some reason – the Headmistress. (Unlike EA's best friend and sound engineer back in the forum's heyday, I don't think fans ever really embraced the FLAG-era manager as part of the Asylum in-group. She came across more as a coordinator / businessperson / adult chaperone, at best.🐀) So, slightly better goodies than you'd get by joining the other AA 🔍 ... but not by much. The main appeal was that members would have access to exclusive content, special merch, giveaways, early bird tickets for future shows, and regular video chats with EA.
The concept itself drew a fair amount of criticism, as you can imagine. Between the name🐀, the price, and the inherent gatekeeping of a pay-to-join fanclub, many balked at the monetizing of a concept that had once (like, three years back) been significantly more DIY, grassroots, and inclusive. 📝🐀
Then again, many also longed for a positive, drama-free space where fans could just be fans. And while the creation of the AA was generally recognized as a quick cashgrab, a lot of people were surprisingly cool with it. EA was trying to finance her dream musical, after all – although a number of fans wished she had gone about raising funds in a less sketchy way.
So around 400 fans shelled out (which, according to the Headmistress📝, “basically cover[ed] the cost of running the fanclub itself – keeping the database up, website, etc.”). Enough for a close-knit, but sizable community. But already, there was a conflict of interest: a high fanclub entry fee essentially demands that you pledge loyalty to the artist over loyalty to your fellow fans, who wish to join but can't afford to. Sharing, caring, and ensuring no one felt left out were some of the more positive values cultivated in the fandom... but leaking exclusive content would surely piss off other paying members🐀, and make EA feel betrayed all over again. (And she had barely just started to mellow out on social media!)
...But then again, this is the internet. After the first month of secret AA drops (lyric sheets, some photoshoot outtakes – nothing too juicy, really), there were, yes, some leaks. EA was predictably miffed, and retaliated by... ghosting the fanclub for weeks at a time in its first few months of existence (great look!). She eventually found the “solution” to her problem, by providing something you couldn't right-click-save (and which had been part of the promised perks to begin with): live interaction.
Over webcam, she was her usual in-person bubbly, charming, funny self. Everyone seemingly had a good time during the fanclub video chat, and this gave people faith and hope.
There were a few more events, giveaways, etc. As promised, ahead of the fall 2013 tour (the last one to date, it would turn out), AA members got priority access to show tickets and VIP bundles. The latter were much pricier than before, and only included soundcheck, a photo-op, and three goodies: a tin of loose-leaf tea, a signed printer-paper setlist, and a small flag that said “F.L.A.G.”.🔍 Some stuff continued to leak – but, as some of the outlaws pointed out (scroll down to the Disqus comments), they were mostly relaying information that was relevant to the entire fanbase, such as updates about ongoing projects (the dragged-out recording of the audiobook, for one).
In early 2014, lifetime memberships were closed, and replaced with monthly, quarterly and yearly subscription tiers. Bizarrely, you ended up paying $3 more per month if you bought a $99 yearly subscription📝 – but it did include the patch, dog tag, and piece of paper!
Sometimes I kind of want to be part of the cool kids and register to the Asylum Army. Then I remember how it came about, what you could get for the same price a couple years ago, how the whole thing was and is handled, and that I won’t support any of this bullshit. (And then I roll around naked in all the money I’m saving.) (🐀)
Still, a number of fans rejoiced at the affordable monthly option, and joined – if not for the exclusive content and merch (which were... okay, but not much to write home about), then for the friendly, drama-free exchanges with an artist they actually did love, in spite of all the frustration.
For the still-too-poor or still-undecided, there was always the forum! It wasn't as active as it used to be, but a few die-hards still managed to keep the lights on... until, inevitably, Someone Did Something and Ruined Everything. (Once again: EA's wrath is spectacular, but rarely completely unprovoked.) The incident features one notable figure in the Asylum community. Let's call him the Collector.
OK, so maybe you remember the meme I linked to in Part 4, with Christian Grey and the ginormous EA hoard. Well, that's the Collector's collection. The “Violin” promo that I called the "Holy Grail of the fandom" in the same paragraph? Also his. The handwritten lyrics that went for $940? Guess who won that auction. Over the years, the Collector had probably spent five figures on EA merch and shows, and although that fact was a little unsettling, he was a very active, easy-going, and generally well-liked fixture of the fandom.
One day in 2012, shortly after the Headmistress had replaced EA's old Chicago BFF as main forum admin, the Collector's account got banned or restricted over something dumb. When the ban wasn't lifted as quickly as he hoped, he took it... the way one takes things when one is unhealthily invested: he started spamming Headmistress and the mod team with increasingly rambling and abusive emails (lost to time, probably for the best). When that didn't work quickly enough, he tried a different route.
One of the many auctions that the Collector had won, some years prior, was EA's old iPod Touch📝 – which contained all of her favorite tunes and, buried somewhere in the data cache... a phone number. Which the Collector tried calling. And wouldn't you know it: EA picked up. She congratulated him on his sleuthing skills, listened patiently as he made his case, apologized for any distress caused by the unfair account restriction, and then they got married.
Kidding! She freaked the fuck out, hung up, and banned him for life from the forum and all EA shows and events.
After his ban, the Collector allegedly still tried to attend at least one VIP pre-show (one source in the comments says he was allowed to buy some merch, refunded for his ticket, and escorted out). He joined the Reform forum to bitch about EA and try to rally people to his cause, possibly made revenge posts about her on darker snark forums, and continued to hound the Asylum mod team. So in June 2014, EA came up with a radical and unexpected fix to the Collector problem.
The official Asylum Fan Forum has been shut down permanently. I have personally paid thousands of dollars each year to keep the forum safe and secure for you ... Unfortunately, the forum has not been kept safe and secure for me, a truth which disappoints me greatly, instead becoming a place where people who have physically threatened myself and my staff prey upon forum members, pressuring them to contact me and my staff on their behalf. If the gullible wish to humor my stalkers (who live in their parent’s basement at age 30 something) and thus put me in danger, they may do it on their own dime. They may also fuck off, because stupidity can kill, and I won’t be your victim. To those who enjoyed the forum, you know who to thank for its closure. (“On the closing of the Asylum Forum”)
Voilà! This is how a decade-long archive of shared history ends: not with a bang, but with a dirty delete and a sod-off communiqué.
The obliteration of the forum took everyone by surprise...
I was actually on the forum when it was taken down. I was navigating between posts and when I went to click on a different board, an error message came up. I honestly cried a little, I'm not ashamed to say. (WVC admin on Reddit, 2024)
...and I do mean everyone:
Chicago BFF / ex-admin, the next morning: Whoa, EA forum shut down? Ex-mod: It turns out that if someone spends enough years actively “waging war” to destroy what they can’t have, eventually they’ll be successful. * eye roll * Not even mods got prior warning. Just all the sudden, poof, gone. BFF: Really? She did not let the moderators know?! This is sounding worse and worse. Uggh. I’m so sorry. Such a loss. (...) Ok, threats are serious, but why not just put it in archive mode so no one can post? (...) Sad. I shall light a candle in the forum's honor. (Facebook posts; scroll down for screenshots)
It was a gut punch, especially for people who had poured countless hours into the community, or could have used some prior warning to save years of their own writing from the role-playing threads. One last chance to take a look around the place that had meant so much to so many.
From the wording of the announcement of closing the forum and a number of other things, it sometimes seems like EA doesn't like her fans much. :/ (🐀)
Three months after the forum was nuked, Battered Rose (a venerable EA fansite, which had been around since the Enchant era and had one of the most complete EA galleries online) announced that it was shutting down too.📝 The admin, who had also been a long-time forum mod, cited a lack of “time, energy, passion, or money” to keep the website going... and being upset at the sudden disappearance of the forum. It was, truly, the end of an era for the Asylum.
...Well, no point in living in the past. For those who could afford it, and still wanted to talk to/about EA after that (not everyone did 🐀), there was always the Asylum Army fanclub!
Over the summer of 2014, EA held regular live chats and Q&A's, and... many attendees really enjoyed them, and thought the AA was well worth the money after all. She also quietly parted ways with the much poo-pooed Headmistress around that time.
Just spent over 4 hours giggling, drinking tea and playing guessing games in chat with EA and other Asylum Army members ... No griping, no downers, just lots of fun. I think I like the way the ‘new fandom’ is going and now I’m really glad I finally decided to join the Army. (September 4, 2014🐀; Battered Rose had closed the day before)
The forum was lost forever, but perhaps that was a chance for a fresh start. Could this fanclub thing really be the Asylum Renaissance that fans had been longing for?
...I have come today to a very difficult but necessary decision, and that is to discontinue the Emilie Autumn Official Fanclub. The site itself, and the community chatroom, will remain open to you indefinitely, but I will no longer be making updates to the site. (Newsletter, September 8, 2014📝)
...Never mind, then.
Turns out the fanclub had been the Headmistress' idea all along. EA had been reluctant from the start, and although she really enjoyed the live chats with a safe community of people “who are there for the right reasons”, she couldn't overcome her fundamental discomfort with the concept. Lifetime and regular members would receive a bunch of digital downloads and a -35% coupon on the Asylum Emporium for their troubles. EA said she would definitely pop back once in a while for live chats, for free, just for fun, but to my knowledge, she never did.
And so the most devoted fans were left standing in the rain...
She is happy, she made it. She is fulfilling her dreams, found love and happiness after all the pain. I understand that she now doesn’t need “us” anymore ... That doesn’t change the fact she broke my heart with taking the Asylum Army and the forum from me. Yet, I am happy for her. (🐀)
...while naysayers pointed and laughed, Nelson-style.🦠
I don’t feel sorry at all for the people that paid for the Asylum Army fan club. Most of them knew that EA is an atrocious business woman and has broken many promises before. In fact, I laugh at them. They seriously thought that EA would actually stay consistent with this? (🐀)

EVERYTHING MUST GO: THE ASYLUM WHOLESALE

EA fans were left without an “official” home for about three years. This gave them plenty of time to be annoyed at EA for: not releasing the audiobook on time, not materializing any new project for a while... and the new sin of peddling random, ridiculously marked-up AliBaba jewelry as “merch” on her official store. Think faux-antique cameo pendants and $30 Big Ben rings (...because the Asylum story is set in London, get it?).
The whole accessories section looks like a tacky overpriced English souvenir shop. (🐀)
The fanbase lost a lost of steam in those in-between years, because there wasn't much to stick around for. As evidenced by the positive reception of the AA live chats, even in the midst of unresolved drama, out-loud interactions in a friendly environment have always been EA's saving grace. Considering the amount of online hate, there are shockingly few accounts of bad IRL encounters with EA: most people say that in live conversation, she comes across as a fun, warm, and genuinely sweet person. Some report that their negative opinion shifted after meeting her.
But there were no chats or live shows anymore. There was only social media, where she ignored questions and vague-posted about overdue projects – and the newsletter📝, which was all saccharine love-bombing to promote bland dropshipped trinkets. For fans who remembered the handcrafted merch (and two-way communication) of the early years, it was a bitter pill to swallow.

CONTINUED IN COMMENTS


submitted by pillowcase-of-eels to HobbyDrama [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:16 AIForAll9999 Creator of Smaug here, clearing up some misconceptions, AMA

Hey guys,
I'm the lead on the Smaug series, including the latest release we just dropped on Friday: https://huggingface.co/abacusai/Smaug-Llama-3-70B-Instruct/.
I was happy to see people picking it up in this thread, but I also noticed many comments about it that are incorrect. I understand people being skeptical about LLM releases from corporates these days, but I'm here to address at least some of the major points I saw in that thread.
  1. They trained on the benchmark - This is just not true. I have included the exact datasets we used on the model card - they are Orca-Math-Word, CodeFeedback, and AquaRat. These were the only source of training prompts used in this release.
  2. OK they didn't train on the benchmark but those benchmarks are useless anyway - We picked MT-Bench and Arena-Hard as our benchmarks because we think they correlate to general real world usage the best (apart from specialised use cases e.g. RAG). In fact, the Arena-Hard guys posted about how they constructed their benchmark specifically to have the highest correlation to the Human Arena leaderboard as possible (as well as maximising model separability). So we think this model will do well on Human Arena too - which obviously we can't train on. A note on MT-Bench scores - it is completely maxed out at this point and so I think that is less compelling. We definitely don't think this model is as good as GPT-4-Turbo overall of course.
  3. Why not prove how good it is and put it on Human Arena - We would love to! We have tried doing this with our past models and found that they just ignored our requests to have it on. It seems like you need big clout to get your model on there. We will try to get this model on again, and hope they let us on the leaderboard this time.
  4. To clarify - Arena-Hard scores which we released are _not_ Human arena - see my points above - but it's a benchmark which is built to correlate strongly to Human arena, by the same folks running Human arena.
  5. The twitter account that posted it is a griftesensationalist/etc etc - I'm not here to defend the twitter account and the particular style it adopts, but I will say that we take serious scientific care with our model releases. I'm very lucky in my job - my mandate is just to make the best open-source LLM possible and close the gap to closed-source however much we can. So we obviously never train on test sets, and any model we do put out is one that I personally genuinely believe is an improvement and offers something to the community. PS: if you want a more neutral or objective/scientific tone, you can follow my new Twitter account here.
  6. I don't really like to use background as a way to claim legitimacy, but well ... the reality is it does matter sometimes. So - by way of background, I've worked in AI for a long time previously, including at DeepMind. I was in visual generative models and RL before, and for the last year I've been working on LLMs, especially open-source LLMs. I've published a bunch of papers at top conferences in both fields. Here is my Google Scholar.
If you guys have any further questions, feel free to AMA.
submitted by AIForAll9999 to LocalLLaMA [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:13 Radiant-Bear4172 Controlled Burn [6]

the next chapter is here hope you enjoy! (no your not insane I posted it before but messed it up)
huge thanks to Objective-Farm-2560 for helping with my spelling and gramma and suggesting a few edits
[First]-[Previous]-[Next]
Memory Transcription Subject: Vaill, Venlil Rescue
Date [standardized human time]: November 29, 2136
The cattle pens of the humans were better than the Arxur's, but a pen they were nevertheless. I wanted to go outside and see the sun of my home but they wouldn't let me. They were no better than the Arxur.
Seeing Annek again was good. I was glad that she made it out of the raid that took me, but she had fallen for Andrew’s trickery. it was so obviously using her… I hoped I could make her see the truth. She was too pure for the likes of any predator.
They wouldn’t even let me use a holopad, but that was to be expected from these predators, they were trying to hide what they had done to my planet. Their taint has undoubtedly spread everywhere by now.
The room that they had me in was a private room, the walls were white with a rather high ceiling, and the vents were too high to climb into in this room. I wondered if my rank in the guild was the reason I got my own room?
Annek hadn’t left my side since she found out it was me. It was nice to talk again, even if that human was around.
Had she even told it what my job was, or how high-ranking I was in that job?
“Annek.. D-did you tell your predator what I do?” I asked nervously, afraid that she'd been tricked into revealing the threat I posed to the humans.
“I thought it best not too, considering how the Exterminators are toward the humans. I want you both to like one another.”
“D-do you really t-think that I w-would ever like a predator?”
“You promised me that you would give him a chance!” she cried, sounding hurt.
I never meant to hurt her.
“A-and I have given it a chance.”
“Vaill, you have blocked him at every turn,” she sighed in sadness. “I know it's hard to trust them but they haven’t done anything to hurt us. In fact the only people hurt during the exchange program were humans. They are the one who freed you and the other cattle!”
Of course she would think that. They are playing the long game to make us think we are safe, all they wanted was more cattle.
“W-why wouldn’t I? They are p-predators,” I pointed out to her.
It was then Andrew walked into the room, walking over to Annek and kneeling next to her. I was scared it was going to hurt her. It hadn’t been here for a few claws, which was a bit relieving. But that dread had returned as it walked in, making my instincts flare up.
I need to rid the world of this predator as soon as I can.
“Andrew! Where have you been?” Annek threw herself around the human, wrapping it in a hug.
Why would she do that? Why would anyone ever hug a predator? I didn’t understand what had gotten into her. Before I was taken she never would have acted like this.
I can’t fail her. I have to help her see the truth, these humans can’t be trusted.
“Sorry Annek, I was just trying to give Vaill some space to come to terms with everything, seeing as so much has changed in the time he's been gone.” The way it spoke almost seemed sincere. I could see how someone uneducated on predators could believe that they meant well.
“D-do you really expect me t-to believe that?” I antagonized. I was not going to fail for its tricks.
“Vaill, what do I have to do to prove that I mean no harm to you?” The predator asked, determined to get me to let my guard down. “Annek has told you, we have spent the last 5 months together and I've done nothing toward her.”
It took a few steps to me, making my fur puff out in fear again. I pushed back on the bed trying to make any distance.
Why did I show it my weakness again? I was lucky with the Arxur but this human… I don't think I’ll be as lucky.
“W-why are you getting closer to me?”
He stopped as I spoke, realizing that his ruse of sympathy wouldn't work. “Vaill, I’m not out to get you, you’re Annek’s friend, so as far as I'm concerned you're mine as well.”
“I pulled some strings and I've gotten you a holopad,” and it held out a holopad, just like it said.
Why..? Why would it give me anything..? It has nothing to gain from it… but it’s doing it anyway?? I don’t understand.. I can’t have been wrong about humans. I saw what they did! It has to be putting on a show for Annek, that’s the only reason it would do this.
I hastily took it from its paws and looked through the news, and what I saw was devastating. There were hundreds of thousands of these predators on Venlil Prime. My home was truly lost to these fiends. I typed in ‘Exterminators’ to see what I could find, and to my relief I saw that we were still putting up some sort of fight with our offices trying to repel this predator incursion. Not everyone had lost their minds and been lured. Thank the stars.
“Vaill, a lot has changed, but we are not your enemy.” Since Annek hadn’t told it about my job, I thought that I might as well get it over with now so it would stop trying to extend this false paw of friendship.
“P-predator, has A-Annek told you what I do for a job?”
The deceitful monster looked confused by the question. “No, she hasn’t. Why do you ask?”
“I’m-I’m an exterminator,” I revealed. “A-a prestige one at that.”
Andrew was somehow undeterred by the revelation, not scared in the slightest. “Vaill I see what you're trying to do, you're not gonna shake me off that easily. I want you to get better, I don't care what you think of me or my people.”
Why does its words seem sincere? I can’t be wrong about them, they are evil. But how is it showing empathy? IT'S A BLOODTHIRSTY MONSTER HOW CAN IT IMITATE EMPATHY SO WELL?!
“I.. I d-don't get why you t-treat your cattle so well and honey us with fake e-empathy...” I whimpered, not wanting to believe its lies.
Annek looked a mix of angry and disappointed. “VAILL! Stop talking to Andrew like that, he has done nothing but try to be nice to you!” she spoke righteously.
Had what I said really upset Annek that much? I never wanted to upset her, but I can't let her be blind to the predator's threat. I can’t fail, not again.
“Annek he’s not gonna change in one day,” Andrew said with far too much patience for a predator. “Oh er, I mean paw.”
“I know but… I wish he would see how sweet you are” she sighed and… nuzzled up to it??
She is so blind to its lies. It's like she can’t be convinced to come back to the light.. I don’t get it. Why does she like it? Why does she care about it? I don’t understand how. She was my best friend. I have to save her.
“Vaill, please give him a proper chance,” she said, almost looking as if she was going to cry. “He won’t hurt you or anyone else, you have to trust me.”
“H-how would you k-know it's not just waiting for a chance to jump you?” I retorted. I had to make her see the truth.
“Please, just trust me, there is nothing malicious about Andrew,” she tried again, desperate to convince me of her point of view.
Why was she so adamant that it would do nothing? She had done nothing but defend it. It made no sense.
“H-how do you know that this tainted p-predator isn’t w-waiting until you let your guard d-down,” I replied. I wasn’t going to let her, my only friend, left get herself killed. “Annek p-please, see the obvious truth!”
Her tail wrapped around Andrews wrist as she glared at me. If looks could kill, I’d be dead. What had it done to convince her that it meant no harm? What had happened?
“Vaill!” Annek shouted, sounding furious. Why? All I had done was try to expose its lies.
Andrew placed a hand on her shoulder, contaminating her with his vile taint. “Annek, he's been through a lot, don't get upset with him.”
Why was it acting so level headed...? It was a predator, and no predator was capable of such logic and reasoning.
No I can’t be wrong about them.. I can’t be...
It felt like I was losing Annek… she’s the last thing I had.. I couldn’t fail her... I CAN’T. But she won’t see the truth…
My eyes started to feel wet as tears slipped out. I buried my eyes in my paws and softly sobbed, as I heard two sets of pawsteps walking towards me. Wordlessly I felt Annek wrap her arm around me.. And… another set of arms? Strong, warm and furless?
I knew whose arms it was. My instincts screamed for me to get away but… it felt good? Anneks arms and its gentle embrace was comforting. This was so wrong and so right.
Maybe I was wrong… No, it’s a predator! I can’t be wrong!
…Can I?
[First]-[Previous]-[Next]
submitted by Radiant-Bear4172 to NatureofPredators [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:10 Training-Cook3507 Current Israeli leadership and its supporters are incapable of ever solving this conflict

People have biases. It's natural and expected. I listened to a podcast yesterday about the Irish Potato Famine. The podcaster was Irish and began with a disclaimer that he may not be able to see the issue clearly because of his heritage.
Jews are often very successful people. Part of the reason for their persecution in past centuries is because they are often a successful minority population, and their success creates a target for repressive regimes. They traditionally have not faced an outrageous amount of discrimination in the US and hence have acquired a good deal of power in the most powerful country in the world. They represent under 2.5% of the population, but are disproportionally represented in positions of power and the media. Half of the NY Times Opinion writers are Jewish or have Jewish people in their family.
Because of this power, they dominate the narrative around Israel in the US. There simply aren't many Palestinian billionaires entering the conversation to influence the argument and there seems to be endless pro-Israeli ones. And they're predictably very biased. While there has been a long history regarding the conflict in recent centuries, as of now, the root of the problem is very simple... the Palestinians don't have the right of self-determination. They're basically controlled by Israel. Those in the West Bank definitely are controlled by Israel and Gaza was locked down so tightly (outside of the terrorist attack) that they weren't allowed an airport or sea access, they could not control their own economy, etc. It was basically a small city isolated from the world by Israel. People will bring up the PA but they have very little power. Palestinians can barely travel miles in the West Bank without going through an Israeli controlled checkpoint. If you believe the Palestinians do have the right of self-determination... then ask yourself.... why is there even a conversation about a "Two State Solution"? If the Palestinians control themselves, they have a state. But they don't.
Israel is an apartheid state, it's pretty hard to argue against that idea. You have to do a lot of mental gymnastics to get to a place where you think this situation is fine. Usually, it involves blaming the Palestinians for not being perfect. But no population of repressed people in their state would be, especially one as highly educated as they are. If you listen to the pro-Israeli side you would think the Palestinians have this horrific history of violence and are basically untamable. They have been military controlled by Israel since 1967. You know how many Israelis they've killed? Maybe 3 to 5k. Every death is a tragedy, but Israel has easily killed 10x that. Hamas took 100 hostages or so during the attacked, Israel has taken magnitudes more from the West Bank since this conflict started. But no one with power really advocates for the Palestinians. Israel gives some reason which could be real or fabricated to justify their actions, and those in power immediately accept it.
Many pro-Israeli people are simply unable to ever see the truth in this situation. 5 million Palestinians are just not going to ever accept being repressed and living without the right of self-determination. But most of the pro-Israeli arguments make that expectation as a foundation. Any real debate regarding this situation must begin with a discussion and plan on how to give Palestinians the right of self-determination to make any traction whatsoever, but that is usually ignored in popularized discussion, because Palestinians are not their primary concern. People like Sam Harris describe themselves as the pinnacle of reason, but he is fundamentally unable to sympathize with the Palestinians and always comes back to the idea of antisemitism and Muslim violence. Same with Eli Lake, Brett Stephens, etc. They're Jewish and biased, and will side with any pro-Israeli explanation.
The Palestinians will eventually receive the right of self-determination and it will come from international pressure, but that may take decades to even 50 years or more. Whether Israel is scorned in any way for this, is another question. Likely not. But to be sure, those advocating for Palestinian rights will be proven right, eventually, and people will run video clips of the people advocating pro-Israeli arguments in the same way people highlight the people advocating the Iraq war decades ago.
But people in power are often very sensitive to their own causes and insensitive to those of their enemies. It's common and predictable. And Palestinians have very little power in the most powerful country in the world, while the pro-Israeli side does... to the point that laws advocating to control speech are being proposed and coming close to pass
This Gaza war is about vengeance, and they're doing it because they can. What is Hamas? An idea? Israel can't identify who is and isn't Hamas other than the leaders, and they're only radicalizing more youth with this war. In many ways, it's pointless. Israel doesn't have the same problem in the West Bank because it is too fractured with Israeli settlements for a movement like Hamas to gain traction and actually do anything, but the problem with pursuing a similar idea in the West Bank is that it still leaves Israel with millions of Palestinians under military control it does not want to give rights too because doing so would make Israel no longer a Jewish majority state.
Most of the pro-Israeli arguments are logical fallacies and distractions. Why does everyone in the US concentrate on Israel when there are other repressive regimes around the world? Because the pro-Israeli people advocate for US aid and power and thus bring it to the country's attention. No one in the US pays attention to atrocities happening in Africa because no one with power is advocating for either side in the US. People will bring up the point that no other minority is treated like the Jews in the US or the focus of hate speech and that is 100% untrue. There are neo nazi and anti LGBTQ marches all the time... people just don't take them seriously. And much of the antisemitism talk is very overblown. The word has become meaningless in the US. Unless you're actually bringing up examples of Jews being systematically discriminated against because of their Jewishness... it's best to ignore the word. Which is a shame, because there is real antisemitism in the US too. But it's gotten to a point where using any word they frown upon is labeled as antisemitism. They're used to dominating the narrative to the point where they can control conversation and take exception to any infringement on that power. "From the River to the Sea"? That phrase was in the Likud party manifesto! But because that means infringement upon the Palestinian people, it's ok and tolerated. Palestinians are Semites! But the pro-Israeli voice has dominated the conversation so much they hijacked that term to only mean discrimination against Jews because the Palestinians don't matter.
Pro-Israeli society has too much pride and power to tell themselves the truth and admit they've made mistakes. The history is of Israel is taught to them in an extremely biased way that turns Palestinians into the enemy and themselves as blameless victims. You can't make a compromise when you're taught and expect to be blameless and shown preference in every way. They've never offered the Palestinians a fully independent state free of Israeli control, because they feel uneasy with even the slightest security risk or uncomfortableness and their preferences are more important than the Palestinian right of self-determination.
Netanyahu is obviously a smart man, but he and his leadership team simply don't possess the sophistication to see and lead their country through this crisis successfully. And unfortunately, I'm afraid he's a product of Israeli society. Israel is functioning like other emerging national countries have in the past, the problem is that they're about 100 years behind current international standards.
submitted by Training-Cook3507 to thedavidpakmanshow [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:09 AnyaGoblessed Love or Money?

Love or Money?
A couple of evenings ago, one of my ESL students decided to choose the conversation topic of “Love or Money.” One of the questions in the material was whether you would choose to find your true love or receive 5 million dollars.
My student is an older teenager and has the unsettling habit of wanting to ask me the questions after he answers them himself. Being an introvert, I would prefer he didn’t, and being a person with high-functioning autism (HFA), I always answer honestly.
My student asked me if I would choose to find true love or money. My answer confused him, as I said it would depend on the end result.The point is neither the money nor the love, but how it affects others.
We live in a broken and confusing world, and we are human — even the best of us will at times make mistakes that hurt those we love. Sometimes, love is not enough, no matter how true, to save what was lost.
Hypothetically, I said I would typically choose personal connection, “true love” as cliché as that might be, over money. However, if I knew that down the road, my true love and I could not weather future storms and it would leave us separated, I would probably choose the money. I’d rather avoid causing them pain or being a factor in that pain, not because of the money itself.
To me, money is just money. Yes, it would be nice to have more of this “tool” in my savings account, checking account, and retirement accounts. But honestly, I have a good life, all my immediate needs and wants are met, and at the end of the day, that is enough for me. But sometimes, “choosing love” looks different than one might expect.
Sometimes we “give up” on love because we fear the future and what might be, sometimes that costs us more than we imagine, and sometimes, if we are lucky enough, we win the lottery and get a second chance, with both love and money.
https://preview.redd.it/xexl5cho8d1d1.png?width=720&format=png&auto=webp&s=19276c39b1e600f1cac5afba27b504b5640b6d3b
https://preview.redd.it/sefktgwj8d1d1.png?width=720&format=png&auto=webp&s=7c50f3bb2fbae419cb179257aebc1f02fb66ca19
submitted by AnyaGoblessed to u/AnyaGoblessed [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:07 cryptomaxks I'm planning to run my first token on pump fun. Need your opinions and guidance

I'm planning to run my first token on pump fun. Need your opinions and guidance
Hey everyone! I'm planning to run my first token on pump fun and need your honest opinion about what i've prepared and the whole idea itself. So to the point.
I've made a plan where i will create a token on pumpfun and buy like everyone else (but first) my project tokens for 2 SOL. After it reaches certain level of mcap i will gratually sell my tokens to cover the expenses of the paid marketing to push mcap further. I bear in mind that my funds are small and may lose it all on that but its ok, i wanna learn.
I made a cheap website for a start, simple and nothing out of ordinary with social links and marketing wallet so everything is transparent on chain. I do not want to scam anyone and i dont even know how to rug token.
I made a tg group with portal. Added bots like rose, dbuybot, pumpfun buytracker and furina music bot to keep the party on VC going thru the pump fun process, Im gonna play some mariachi music to get a nice and funny vibes. At around 30k mcap i will sell some tokens to prepay the dexscreener, i've made a banner and all the graphics with canva and leonardo so its upfront prepared. They may not be the best graphics you will see today but i think its enough (thoughts?) to get this going. The next mcap milestones you can check on the picture below:
https://preview.redd.it/mdl26upc8d1d1.jpg?width=1139&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=90f2558a3778457a12f059617b25afe8abf39d74
I've made also a twitter but my shilling skills are newb. I've followed some callers and the #GEM FINDERS to shill under their posts, got few followers and will constantly promote it everywhere i can including some tg chats. Maybe it will bring some eyes on my project. And basiclly thats all i got at this point. What do you think about all of this ? Does it have a chance to reach the first mcap goal and raydium ? What would you change or upgrade? Cant wait for your opinions.
https://preview.redd.it/ca6m2ild8d1d1.jpg?width=512&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=62e229ee746e86a5cc07735062abb19255c6718d
https://preview.redd.it/hr5djvxd8d1d1.png?width=768&format=png&auto=webp&s=2b3943383553114cc1292dd812ddb35b7acced97
Good day and i wish you all profits, CryptoMaxks the SeñorDip Dev
submitted by cryptomaxks to memecoins [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:06 justanothersiya AITA?

AITA? Hey y'all. First time poster here. 😅 This is a REALLY LONG one...
TW: d34th (grief), DV
How do I (28F) not make ADHD my entire personality? 😫 I am unmedicated (unemployed and medication is not something I can afford rn), and find it extremely difficult not to let my neurodivergence permeate throughout my entire life and affect my relationships. I really try my best, but it's an uphill battle when it affects how I communicate, relate with others, and self-regulate the RSD. I also have an anxious attachment style due to childhood trauma and history of domestic abuse in a previous relationship, so there's that. 😔 One of the most challenging things about being a neurodivergent living in a predominantly neurotypical world is the lack of education on it and lack of empathy and compassion for people on the spectrum. Not trying to be a victim here, this is just my experience.
Some of the things I battle with:
So I've been talking to this guy (28M) via Facebook messenger and mostly Whatsapp for about 9 months now. We're long distance (living in different provinces - I'm in South Africa btw), and both have so much going on in our lives, that it's simply not practical to be official bc 1. I'm unemployed and have so much trauma and internal work to get through, while he is trying to build a successful business that is still quite a baby (less than 5 years old) and 2. We just want to be realistic about the chances of a LDR being successful. So right now, we're in a talking stage.
Now this guy has been all green flags since we started talking. Attentive, kind, funny without being mean, God-fearing (I respect all beliefs, even the lack thereof so this is not a jab at anyone who isn't. It's simply a green flag for ME as we are aligned in that way), family oriented, and honestly he is just always really nice and reassuring to me, even in moments where I have done something to upset him. That stood out to me bc he does not withold intimacy when we have conflict. He also has a genuine curiosity about how my ADHD affects me, and has always shown compassion to me about it. This is really important bc I've never experienced this with ANY man I have dealt with. I usually look for love in men who get irritated by this, I have been told that I use my ADHD as an excuse in some arguments with an ex, been shamed for the executive dysfunction and long-windedness, have had boundaries crossed regarding my physical sensitivity to certain touch bc I guess ADHD doesn't seem like a real thing to certain people?
Anyway, he's been going through a lot mentally and emotionally, his business has been taking a lot of knocks, funding and budget issues etc. He lives on a farm (hates city life lol) which he finds to be more peaceful to him, however, he's been in the city for about 3 months now due to work setbacks. It's affected his mental health quite negatively, and I often feel pained by this. I often feel helpless bc I can't solve his problems, and he just becomes aloof and buries his head in work. I can completely understand this, bc his business is his baby, and he's dedicated about 4 years into making it a success, forfeiting a social life completely, and that includes dating. He is extremely self-sufficient and unlike me, he is able to compartmentalize his life and readjust his priorities to make space for his career needs. He has no problem making difficult choices for long-term rewards. Now mix that with his own childhood trauma that has created abandonment issues with him. 🤦🏾‍♀️ He is of the sad opinion that everyone leaves, and it's always just a matter of time.
This is a problem, bc I also battle RSD, so when I feel his aloofness, it feels like he's so distant. This makes me feel unsafe in being vulnerable. I withdraw completely and start fighting feelings of being unwanted and neglected. It's a really difficult one bc I don't want to play in to his abandonment issues, and I also want to give him grace bc he hasn't really dealt with a woman romantically in YEARS. He has communicated this with me, so I try to keep it in mind, even tho I have to fight my own head sometimes. 😅🤦🏾‍♀️ But how do I get over these feelings? How do I communicate this with him when he has warned me over and over about what's happening in his life? It seems that his challenges are challenging both of us, and I'm honestly just scared of losing him.
Thought I was done? Lol, sorry, but no. My long-winded behind is only just about to get to the main point of this post. 🤣🤦🏾‍♀️
On the 13th May last year my 18 year old brother died in a car accident on his way back from a school event. It was an abrupt death, and was really hard on my family and me. Now, my little brother and I were extremely close, so his death is still something I grieve a lot, and I think I still bleed onto others when I am overwhelmed with emotion. A few days ago marked the 1 year anniversary of his death, and I was not in a good place at all. That night I called this guy, and he told me he was getting some work done that he needed to submit for something. In that moment and for the first time, I was really not trying to be this understanding woman for him. I needed a space to just be an emotional mess and have him listen to me. I needed comfort from him. I also just missed him; I missed him just being there for me. Maybe this was a bad idea, bc he has mentioned a little while ago that he has been failing empty and drained. 🤦🏾‍♀️
Anyway, I started bleeding onto him, was crying on the phone and talking about my brother (whom I've only really talked about with him). Now, he is the problem-solving type, so his first instinct was to advise me on how to deal with that day, I guess. Usually, I find this to be quite endearing. He always wants to show up for the people he cares about, and wants to be helpful. However, in that moment, I didn't need him to be that. I just needed him to be there for me, in a safe and comforting silence. I snapped at him, asking him not to be an advisor for once bc that's not what I needed. I could hear the pained surprise on the other end of the phone, paused, and then apologised for the way that I snapped. I continued with my rant and mid-talk, he just asked if we could talk the following day. I was taken aback by the way he wanted to conclude the conversation where I was emotionally charged and in a state of grief. It upset me so much, I dropped the call without a proper goodbye.
I spent the following day thinking about this, validating him and then validating myself over him.
He called me later that evening, wanting us to talk about what happened on the call. I was expecting him to apologise for wanting to end the call in a moment where I just needed him to be there for him. To my surprise he called to actually call me out for snapping at him and then dropping the call on him. This kick-started an argument (which is quite rare for us bc within the 9 months of us talking, this was our second argument) between us, where I guess we were both feeling unheard. At every attempt of mine to try and explain where my reaction was coming from, he would get frustrated and cut me off... he did it so often to where I was starting to wonder if he just called me to fight or there was something deeper going on with him.
Anyway, what REALLY got me in that argument was that at some point I called him out for not letting me finish my sentences. He kept intercepting while I was trying to make a point, which was crazy to me. At some point, I had to remind him that I have ADHD, so maybe I can be long-winded, but I need him to bear with me as I make my point. Well, I tried, but before I could even finish that sentence, he sighed in frustration, and exclaimed, "Jesus! This is not about your ADHD! Now we're back to your ADHD!"
I was shocked. Partly bc had he allowed me to finish that sentence, he might have gotten to hear the part where I was merely trying to remind him so that he can listen and understand me better. Not to deflect from his grievance with me. 🤦🏾‍♀️
Mostly tho, was bc I was NOT expecting that from HIM. It suddenly triggered me to my experiences in the past with people conveniently ignoring the fact that I live with ADHD, ignoring how very real my experience with it is, and how I quite literally cannot help the way my brain works. I feel like that was the most ableist thing I have ever heard coming from his mouth, and it really rocked me.
I can fully own that I was not right to snap at him, nor was I right to drop the call like that. I have apologised for this. It was the first thing I did. It's just so tricky bc my responses were triggered by his reaction to me in that moment. I was at an emotional low and maybe this is a bit entitled of me, but I was really hoping for a little more grace considering what I was so emotional about. 😔 AITA? Am I not doing enough work to manage my ADHD so that it is not causing conflict in my relationships and how I navigate them?
Please be kind. I've really fallen for this man, and want to make things right.
submitted by justanothersiya to AITAH [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:06 anxietybee- I have actually beat myself up at this point and I don't know how to end the friendship

A few days ago we fought from 1:30a till about 8am. We have lengthy arguments like this all the time. We used to date, and it played a key role in the end of our relationship along with us having different values in general. I made it clear before we started dating I can't handle much fighting, particularly yelling, because of aspects of my childhood.
✨️ TLDR AHEAD
Two fights happened on my two birthdays- or before other important things like it's the night before a road trip or I'm ON the road trip. They happen when I want to go to bed or I'm about to run an errand. He monologs for literal hours at a time, and I can't speak up when he speaks incorrectly on my part because then I'm interrupting him and that causes more issues than me being misunderstood or remembered incorrectly.
In our relationship they were often caused by me not wanting him to pay my for my phone/phone bill before we'd been dating for even 3 months, though they were also caused by me being late to coming over and stuff like that as well. Sometimes I'd accidentally fall asleep after work instead of coming over, if I lay down after a shower, which I did a few times as I worked very early in the morning, and it made him feel like I didn't value his time.
I didn't talk to him for a few months after we broke up, even though he tried to contact me to apologize several times by texting/phonecalls/visiting several times at my apartment. Eventually someone knocked on my door and I opened it before I realized it was him. I didn't want to turn him away so we talked and he very sincerely apologized and talked about how he'd been going to therapy. I could recognize a great deal of change in him and we caught up on eachothers lives.
I moved to a different state like a week after we got in contact and i am struggling with this long distance friendship. He wants to talk all the time and I.. don't. I enjoy texting but sometimes I want to watch a show or play a game uninterrupted, but if I don't respond enough he feels ignored. He also likes to talk on the phone all the time and I really really don't enjoy talking on the phone at all, especially for hours at a time. We talked every night for a couple weeks in the beginning. But after a bad fight i reminded him I don't like being on the phone and said I wanted some space, which had been on my mind prior to the argument. The next week we talk on the phone for like 3 nights for a few hours, and maybe a few other little calls here and there, but he says it's not enough
But the thing is.. even when we talked for hours every night and texted pretty often it still wasn't enough. The only time it was enough was a short window when I checked my phone pretty obsessively to make sure I didn't miss a message from him and always stopped what I was doing to take his call
If my snap score goes up when we're not talking he asks me about it. I don't know why but I feel uncomfortable explaining to him the other people I talk to in the day. And often I'm not even talking to them when I'm not talking to him- they send me snaps when I'm not on my phone. I don't respond to anyone unless I make sure I respond to him first to avoid this exact issue. I feel anxious when my friends snap me because I know my score will go up and he's going to ask me about it
For the most part, our fights presently revolve around him feeling like I don't care enough about our friendship or he's feeling ignored by me. But I really really don't know what to do anymore. I was talking on the phone for hours at a time, I was texting all the time and keeping my responses as long as possible.. I was planning movie days, etc. It was never enough.
He's upset my responses are getting shorter. And to be honest they have. Often times I talk about my life, especially someone else in my life, it triggers a fight. Not always in the moment but it always comes back to bite me in the butt later. Particularly if I'm hanging out with my roommate, because in my friends eyes he and I get to hang out with all time. Which we kind of don't- my time is far more devoted to my friend than my roomate. But even if it wasn't- I like hanging out with my roomate because we can quietly sit in the same room together, and we don't have any conflict. He is a very kind presence and I'm grateful to have him as a friend.
It's hard talking about your life while also revealing the bare minimum about your life, and so I'm responding kind of shortly about my things and just try to focus on him.
The fight we had a few days ago was about us not talking enough. Sort of. The reasons our fights go on for hours is because I don't know how to respond to him when he brings up an issue. I sincerely try my best and I try it all. When he brings something up I explain to him I understand his concerns, both using his exact words and in my own words I explain why he's upset. If I agree with him I will apologize and tell him how I'm going to fix it and I fix it, after we fight for a few hours ofc, because he doesn't believe I can understand/apologize and fix something so early into a conversation.
Other times he keeps pushing me to explain myself, but if I explain my pov, things really really blow up because I don't always agree with him. And I think he confuses me not agreeing with him to not understanding. One of our fights came because he was upset when I got home with my roommate at 1am, when I had a 3 hour drive at 8am the next morning. Which blows my mind, because he fought with me literally all night before I drove across the state. I didn't tell him that though, I said I didn't mind getting home till 1 because I had fun when I was out and will still get plenty of sleep. But we still fought.
✨️TLDR
Anyway... the other day he brought up he feels like we don't talk enough. And I said I understand it's hard but this is the boundary I'm setting because I don't enjoy being on the phone, but we're talking 3/4 days a week for several hours. We fight and he says that even when we do talk I'm not talking enough right now. We fight and I reluctantly told him I just don't feel comfortable opening up right now. We fight and fight and it's turning me into a person I dont know or how to control.
In the beginning of our relationship I was quiet and just agreed to everything he said to avoid the argument. This didnt always work but it tends to. Now I get so overwhelmed and angry after several hours I mute my phone and scream into my pillow. This last call I started hitting myself, which I've never done before, and the next day my cheeks were bumpy and itchy, my forehead was swollen, my scalp hurt to touch, and I'm still getting over my two black eyes. He did NOT cause me to hit myself and he doesn't know. I feel silly for doing it. But I find myself at my breaking point and I don't know how to manage these fights anymore.
After hours and hours I break down and I just start agreeing to whatever he says I'm wrong about because I want it to end. I repeat the very thing I said eight hours ago- what I'm wrong about and how I'm going to fix it, but only now after crying on the phone all night long is sort of enough.
At the end of the call he asked if our friendship was over and I said I don't know. He asks this all the time and I basically beg him to be my friend but I don't want to anymore.
He sent me a long apology the morning after the fight and said he wouldn't do it anymore. I thanked him for not wanting those fights anymore. He sent me a pic of his dog and I said she was cute. That night I let our streak die. He messaged me this morning "you let our streak die" and I sat at my phone for ten minutes thinking of how to respond and eventually I just decided not to. He called me twice tonight at around 8pm and texted that he wanted us to talk for a bit, but i had made plans with another friend of mine a week ago to play animal crossing, so I did that and didn't respond to him. At 3am I saw he was typing on snapchat and I'm anxious because I've been receiving snaps and know my score went up, even though I have sent zero snaps to keep the number as low as I can
I know he wants to be friends still
But I sort of don't want to be friends anymore???? I really love the positive things in our relationship. In a lot of ways he was the best boyfriend and best friend I've ever had. But I can't do this anymore. I hate the person I am in these fights. I know he does not control my actions, it is not his fault I scream in my pillow or gave myself black eyes. But I have never in my life had any sort of romantic or friendly relationship like this. And I don't enjoy it. I really really love not fighting with my loved ones. And I really feel like no matter what I do to make him feel heard when he brings up an issue it's not enough. Every fight we have damages our friendship, which I've told him several times. I used to get over them easily but I am just so drained I always feel wary for the next blow up.
But I don't want him to feel like I'm abandoning our friendship? I don't know how to end a friendship? I've never had one end that wasn't a result of just growing apart. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wish I never opened my door when he came over. I'm supposed to go to my home state shortly and I'm very anxious about being in the same state as him
submitted by anxietybee- to Advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:06 AnAmericanJewel No capacity, but he can still decide?

About 2 weeks ago my dad (90) was taken into the hospital (which is a whole tale by itself) with a blood glucose of 500. He had been living by himself with little to no help except me (43) nearby.
He was kept for a week and that whole week it was a constant stream of begging for a lawyer, telling anyone he could that his constitutional rights were being violated, and how could I allow them to do this to him. They had to unplug his phone because he kept calling 911 and he threw a fit and pushed some staff (not to hurt, just to get in trouble) to try to get arrested so he would get a lawyer then got mad when hospital security came (which he called the gestapo).
Every day, I asked about a capacity assessment, they never did one but up and down the documents it says that he does not have capacity to make medical decisions at this time. Diagnosis was metabolic encephalopathy, which I had never heard of, but okay. He has refused to take metformin or lisinopril in the 2 months I've been getting involved in his medical care. "Dementia" was not mentioned one time in his hospital records.
We knew in home care wasn't going to be an option (another separate tale which I may already have posted about). We had been checking out a few ALFs in the weeks prior so I picked one and we moved him in. I took him myself to get him there the quickest. Things were a little rough because he had some GI issues.
He called me that night with the nurses in the room trying to get him to take his medication (the above and Seroquel, which he had been taking in the hospital). In desperation, I told him I would not come the next day if he didn't take it. He was not pleased but he took it.
The next day I was told as soon as I came in that he refused again this morning. We had a whole talk about it and he was adamant and then he getting wild and said he was leaving. I told him, I'm so sorry dad but you cant leave on your own. Oh my god. What a mess.... He pushed me out of the way and stormed down the hall looking for exits it was a whole thing. I was not helping and the staff member we were working with told me it was okay to go. About an hour later they called and said they had to call 911. He was getting physical (he isn't fat, but hes on the taller end and REALLY strong) and could not be redirected. He urinated on himself then dropped his pants and defecated on the patio.
So less than 24 hours after leaving he was right back in the hospital. This time they said they had diagnosed him as having dementia (lie), but also that even if he doesn't have capacity that he can't be forced to memory care (they even consulted the hospital ethics department). He is adamant that he does not want to go anywhere he isn't "free" but when I try to talk through what going home looks like he shuts down. I contacted Dad's lawyer and he said "this is bizarre" -- There's an AMD and we just need the capacity letters from the doctors to have it enacted otherwise any person with dementia can just say they don't feel like doing XYZ.
There's also an interloper involved that may have good intentions but is not helping. The hospital was going to release him to her 24/7 care. I don't even know this person, I've talked to her once on the phone and she's only gotten the version that my dad is giving her (he doesnt remember either of the events that relates to how he got to the hospital). The geriatric doctor that came in told me she has never said this but she has never been so uncomfortable with someone being in the room. Dad referred to this person as his fiancee to nurses yesterday morning, but when I asked him in the afternoon he said it was completely platonic but due to much restraint on his part.
(In home care isn't an option, over the last 6 months we have had at least 20 caregivers. Most don't last the day, maybe 3 have lasted more than one day. He becomes sexually inappropriate or propositions them or gets curious if they do things he doesn't want them to do or does them incorrectly in his opinion.)
I have never been so tired.
submitted by AnAmericanJewel to AgingParents [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:05 Built4dominance Logan and Storm just being homies.

Logan and Storm just being homies. submitted by Built4dominance to xmen [link] [comments]


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