I (16 f) had a girls night at my house recently. I invited my whole friend group which all up was around 15 people. I had planned snacks, movies, dinner etc. I paid for the expenses and the cost turned out to be around $200. I was fine with it and knew I was going to have to pay some fee to have a good time with my friends.
I should also mention since the girls night was big and involved alot of people, my parents said I could host it however I wouldn’t have a birthday party later that year as they tend to struggle when accomodating people, feeling like they can’t let anything bad or anyone get hurt otherwise it’s their fault. I understand and honestly fair enough.
Anyways I had all of these things planned and fast forward to the night I had spent ages decorating, tidying, setting up and making everything look nice. Everyone showed up and at the start it was really fun. We played twister and talked about school and whatever. We eventually headed into the lounge room and started talking.
One of the girls in my group (let’s call her Marissa) has always had an issue with me. We have had arguments and disagreements before with me always ending up having to be the bigger person. One time she was talking shit about me behind my back and then when I confronted her she said that it wasn’t her fault and we just weren’t similar enough. I even ended up apologising for prying. To say the least we haven’t always been on good terms yet we finally were normal and I didn’t want to not invite her because ik that would cause a stir in the group.
We were all talking and she asks me which of my friends that are guys, don’t like her. I said I wasn’t comfortable saying that, that I thought she would go and contact them afterwards and also the wool group was there and no one needed to know nor did she have a reason. She kept begging me and calling me a gate keeping bitch so I reluctantly agreed to tell her privately in another room and if she promised to not go to them or anyone else afterwards.
She agreed and I told her. I instantly regretted my actions but said nothing as we both headed back to the lounge room. Without a second of hesitation she jumped on her phone and started texting someone.
I asked her if she was texting someone who I had told her and she said no.
I checked my phone a few minutes later and 2 of my guy friends had contacted me furious that I had said what I did. I apologised profusely because I know what I did was wrong. I then revived messages from other people in my class about what I had said (not people I had said to Marissa) and it sounded like she had completely exaggerated and twisted everything around. I was so upset. I went to go back to the lounge room and act like nothing had happened when I heard her talking shit about me. In my own home.
I stayed in my bedroom for most the night with a few girls staying with me unsure of what had happened.
School started two weeks later and Marisa was acting as if nothing had happened. I had tried to let the incident go over the break but when she started acting normal(except for giving me the cold shoulder) I was furious.
I contacted her that night demanding to know why she would break the promise she made to me and then proceed to talk about me. She left me on read so I kept sending her texts saying I wanted to work things out and if she was going to ignore me on text she couldn’t at school.
I showed up at school the next day to see her mom at the front office. I was concerned but tried not to think much of it. I was called to the deputy office later that day. The deputy told me that Marissa was saying I was harassing her and bullying her. Her evidence was screen shot of my texts that yes did involve swearing as I was angry but nothing violent. She showed them to her mum who apparently was asked by Marisa to take it up with the deputy .
I told the deputy my side of the story and luckily she believed me. Otherwise I would have been suspended or worse. I later found that those were her intentions.
This completely divided our group with majority of them siding with her as she told them I was bullying her but continently never showed them the messages. The news spread fast and now I have a bunch of people talking about me and rumours are spreading about what a horrible person I am. Sorry this was so long but AITA?

Hey all, I'm an Italian guy looking for some advice. I basically got to 23 without having a social life. While I did have a very good friend from about 11-16 we fell apart and I've been completely alone ever since. I've only had gaming buddies and friends online, but I nearly completely missed out on having a social life. I changed schools a bunch of time, even dropped out and eventually went back. Never been anywhere, never did anything with friends, never had real relationships.
I'll be leaving for the military soon so I'm hoping that the situation will change, and I know that I should be looking ahead because the past is the past and it's already gone. At the same time I can't stop feeling crushed every day by feeling like I missed out on the most important things during one of the most important parts of life. I constantly have this feeling that I'm so late compared to everyone else, and I didn't accomplish anything. And again, rationally I know that comparison is bad, but I can't shake it off. I look at people and wonder how many more things they did than me, how many relationships they had while I did nothing. It's a feeling that follows me everywhere every single day, no matter what I do.
I guess I'm afraid that regardless of what I accomplish now in life, the feeling of having "missed out" will follow me forever.
If you've had a similar experience, how did you deal with it? Is it possible to get over it? Thank you! :)

I 22F and my bf 25M are currently on a break for the week. I’m doing my uni finals at the moment, and I have been a bit stressed. I noticed my bf wasn’t really talking to me the way he normally would and I asked him what’s up. He sent me a really long text detailing now he thinks we are never on the same page (1), he keeps thinking about how I read his diary (2), I called him my ex’s name by acccident (3), and he is stressed because I am frustrated about my exams (4). I’ll detail these more now.

1. He wants kids. I met him online and told him in my profile I was strictly against kids. Recently, I have come around about that, but I am still unsure. I’m not against them but I have explained I would need to do what I want and live my life a bit and have a house and job before I could decide that. I am also a child of divorce and saw how that really affected my mum, and I explained to him how that also put me on the fence. He said he doesn’t want to be with someone for years and it feel like a “waste” if it doesn’t work out kids wise and he doesn’t wanna start dating in his 30s. Another thing is travel. I had told him I would perhaps like to travel after uni, but I am forgoing that. I said it would be nice to go away on holiday like his other friend couples do maybe once a year, but he thought that I was insinuating we MUST go this year. I explained that I wasn’t expecting him to, because he wants to save for a house (rent), and he can’t get any hols anyway. He was really silent after that as if we had “argued” and in his eyes that was an argument he brought up this week. I didn’t raise my voice at him or argue, rather said that wasn’t what I meant and explained further.
   
2. This one is bad, I know. I was in a really bad place mentally, and I thought that something was wrong with him since he sometimes suffered from anxiety and dealing with the future. I had only read the last entry he put in and immediately after I read it I told him as I felt so guilty betraying him. I’ve apologised profusely and I’ve been going to counselling to help my own anxiety and depression. I wanna note that I’m not like that around him, it’s mainly when I’m by myself so he doesn’t really see that side of me. In the moment I was genuinely worried for him. I know it still makes what I did bad.
   
3. This one really tears me up every day. We were playing around, and instead of saying his name in a playful annoyed way I said my exes. He immediately shut down and wouldn’t talk to me or hear me out. In fact, he kicked me out of his house. I get that what I said was not nice to hear, and upon talking to my counsellor she said it was a common thing to do, and doesn’t mean I was thinking about my ex. I wanna say that I DO NOT think about them and have blocked and deleted them from my life. In doing that however, I did begin to spend more time with my gay bestie who happens to have the same name as my ex and I happened to talk to on that day. I really believe it was a mistake and I thought he was trying to move past it but he keeps bringing it up.
   
4. He doesn’t like to be around me when I’m stressed. When I’m frustrated, I’m not angry at him or raise my voice at him or be passive aggressive, it’s more so internalised at myself. He was offering me advice this year and feels like because I didn’t stick to a schedule to complete my uni tasks, I was ignoring him. I work last minute, it’s how I have always worked and I get great result. Not to mention, in his final uni year he was the same as me. I dont really get this argument to be honest.
   

I also wanna note that he told me he wasn’t sure if this is the “real” me or if I was on my best behaviour at the start of the relationship. Everything was great at the start, but in my first week of uni my grandmother died, I then had to have surgery 2 months later to remove breast tumours (non cancerous), and I guess that and uni stress really caught up with me. He saw that I was doing better by going to the gym and feeling better about myself, but said that I snap back at times and don’t like myself. I think this is normal as some people have off days but I think he’s annoyed by it.
Also, at the start of our relationship he was really anxious about us, and I helped him through it. He was also stressed about jobs, and I had helped him prep and make a new cv as I’m good at that stuff and he got job offers. In fact at one point he said to me that he thought I was with him for money. I had more in savings than him at that point and paid for things/went 50/50. I am also lined up for a higher earning job than him when I’m out of uni.
We are on a break atm until my exams are over (20may). I genuinely don’t think these are things to waste 1 year over especially when I’m gonna be out of that stressed environment soon. He replied one night to my goodnight I love you saying “love you” but only replied x last night. Am I the problem? Am I overreacting for feeling like an awful person?
My parents say he’s not treating me nicely or fairly, and my friends say that the only thing I did wrong was read his diary. I just feel like an awful person.

There will probs be more posts like this in time. Only bc I refuse to be silenced by "Cancel Culture" or "Blacklisting"

Streaming has shown me a completely different kind of evil people and almost all of them preach kindness and inclusivity while “protecting their communities” publicly but privately is a whole different animal.
Once, as a baby streamer I went to one of those preachy kinda streamers who I thought was actually a pretty good friend cuz she said she loved me so much she called me her sister. I thought I was safe to confess the sensitive information that I had been excessively cyberstalked and sexually harassed by someone in the community, not that I wanted them to do anything about it but i wanted them to know why that person may be yelling his version of events to anyone that will listen when I inevitably have to ban him. At the time i did not know this person was a frienemy but when the time was right for them, they used that sensitive info to hurt me and made the man who sexually harassed me & cyber stalked me their mod, even tho they knew he went as far as threatening to kill me if I wasn’t his friend. Others on twitter came forward shortly after saying he’s done this before. AND on top of that, that same frienemy added their other streamer buddy who was more well connected with other streamers AND MODS as her mod too and he was actually the first out of everyone to victim blame me for being harassed, stalked, and threatened w\o asking for proof. When he found out I had proof, he lied to others saying I bullied the poor guy I banned and accused. He then confidently smear campaigned me (failed) on Twitter back then just because I wanted a public apology. This streamemod combo conman later became a very loud mod to the guy who publicly announced my cancellation and without a doubt in my opinion was one of the ones pushing him to do it.
THEN there's the kinds of “safe space acceptance of all” assholes that team up with the above assholes
These guys within themselves have a tight inner circle of people all groomed to be loyal (people that owe the leader something out of admiration for being helped through a life event-for example needing money for Christmas for your kids, money to stop a house being foreclosed on, money for whatever. OR false promises of success and support on twitch through various means) These kind of people love raising money for private causes and not actual charities to play hero to suffering individuals they raised the money for-so people feel indebted to them. These same streamers also have no problem only coming back to streaming to ask for personal donations to help them in their time of "need" literal days before a huge St Judes Community fundraiser event. Ponder that as you will.
They use their loyal gophers to stalk, bully & blacklists anyone thats makes them feel disobeyed, threatened, envious, or bitter. They even go against their own, people there aren’t allowed to have differing opinions because anything different than the leaders is “disrespectful” and personal slight towards them. Those people usually slowly get pushed unless they redeem themselves or give up dirt on someone on the watch list.
& to the people who courageously leave bc it becomes creepy finding out how fucked the inner workings really are, People like me, become public enemy #1. You all know what happened there and if you dont, comment and ill tell you about "The Great Cancelation of HeyyyitJess" fucking cringe bro im really not that important lmao
ANYWAY These kinda streamers use their loyals to pressure other creators or threaten to take their numbers away if they refuse to obey or stop being friends with someone they want deplatformed. Yes, I said Deplatformed. They do this so they don’t catch the fall when the truth comes out how fucked up this behavior is. They have an almost onion layered shield around them taking the full brunt of it all. If called out they could say something like "Those were my mods who conspired with those other people to plan a scandal, not me, but im sorry this is happening to you. Mistakes were made." or "I was not threatening to take your viewership, support, relevancy or friends away, that was my mods who i have no control over. Mistakes were made" ^\)keeps all mods and rewards them*
ALLEGEDLY 😂 these are my personal experience of what ive witnessed or others who have come forward but i could be a big fat liar guys its up to you who knows i might think im jesus too and think i can become the irl sailor moon or little mermaid lol its not funny but bc its so ridiculous its hard not to laugh.**
I DIGRESS-But u know who does end up getting the fall? The streamer who they convinced enough to make a declaration LIVE ON STREAM March 21st 2024 for the first 45 minutes of stream (vod is still up and ill link it-if its taken down i have it recorded and saved per legal advice Paskaroni's March 21st 2024 VOD Rule #1 Stream. • QotD) **(assuming he is talking about me bc ik he was and so does everyone else) that im-**in not exact words but close-a bully, toxic, and he declared me and my 3 friends a danger to the whole community so in his words we were and are now “DEAD” in the community...In my POV, He said that not once but twice giggling with glee basically as he told the community to flame me out bc I apparently don’t deserve to be on Twitch, have success, friends, or a platform etc and that he knows the community is strong enough to make this happen. He then seemingly encouraged people to DM him to find out who he was talking about because he had no problem sharing all the names in order to get rid of the filth of the community. Also went on bragging that at CONs they all talk about us bad people and share notes with everyone to protect the whole website from us bullies (ooooo im so scary with my truth and autistic personality that seeks justice)
I want to draw more attention to the fact that the streamer said this ALL WITHOUT PROOF. & admitted on his own accord and free will ALL BY HIMSELF there was no proof, that there were alot of screenshots from the haters that didnt say much but that he wanted to give HIS 12 hater friends the benefit of the doubt even though he always saw me as a wonderfully positive part of the community. I guess I suddenly wasnt considered a friend which is oh so convenient. Not even considered enough so to get the same benefit of the doubt let alone a conversation in general. I wouldve happily handed over the link to the 5GB file of VODS, others testimonies via calls and VALID screenshots as well as a list of other peoples info who are willing to be CREDIBLE references that witnessed events as well but NOOOOO im too scary for that. Sorry tho guys I guess im not as evil as you all think i am especially not enough to go through with suing most of their asses like my lawyer wanted. And im poor as fuck so that should mean alot.
So back at it, now, who did him wrong? In my experience the kinda cult communities that do this bullshit is easy to spot once you know what this looks like. They manipulate people, and they dont discriminate, their prey could even be the most well meaning streamers- like the one who fell victim this time. (I'm very heartbroken that that streamer i linked did that to me live and essentially had hundreds of people leaving me hate dms, threatening me, threatening my friends, friends of friends, and stream leaders, but i still am mature enough to know he is a victim too in a way).
The problematic predatory streamers or communities like the ones responsible for this dumpster fire are usually the ones preaching and over amplifying positive vibes, safe space, inclusiveness, encouragement, acceptance, enabling etc bc they are a “close knit gamers of chosen family” or even the infamous kinda things some people say unironically “were totally not a cult-those people are cults OMG do you see how toxic...THAT STREAMER IS FAKE AF she is alllllll makeup look at and her simps. She's not even a good streamer or gamer she just has her simps play for her” seeing people saying that publicly on any platform seriously is......BIG RED FLAG oh and unfotunately get used to all the toxic men getting away with everything. sad but true. then you have me over here who gets cancelled for breathing wrong. Its apart of life and i hate it. SO HERE WE ARE
BASICALLY notice if you join one of these kind of communities see how fast you can pick up on mean girl behavior. itll be obvious. (Ive seen both cult themes vary in a dark silly way but the worst I have seen is a cult theme disguised as a form of DnD themed video game religion-both sinister af imo) like these people straight up have calculated religious church or temple themed community roles like The Archpriest, Highest Priestess, Acolytes, Initiates, "so in so's" whipping boy etc.
But yeah those total MotherMarys & JesusTheHealer's that own those kinda communities totally would NEVER abuse their connections or false appearance of power to start a witch hunt of cruel lies towards an ex inner circle member who walked away. Nah it couldn’t be that they would only do that just bc they were paranoid and guilty of what little ol me or whoever knows like...idk....their unmasked personal life behaviors and actions. Nah. Couldnt be them.
All in all....Ill never understand what the point of witch hunting and manipulating creators to shield you or get them to do your dirty work is, bc it will always come to light. None of it logically makes sense on a healthy level and people will realize that it sure does seem like peeps have alot to hide or cover up EHH? 🫎
Or maybe not. Walking away peacefully and minding your own business apparently now justifies a witch hunt cyberbully party based on lies no one even attempted to confront me about. So that being said youre fucked either way. BE CAREFUL ON TWITCH lol
Id be surprised if i dont get attack comments on this. <-says this cuz now they won’t but a few passive aggressive ones won’t resist the urge for sure. Its always the ones that seem the kindest but also the loudest about how kind they are. Just something to consider.

Basically what it says.
I handed in a notice for a career break a while ago because I need a rest for my MH. I don't think it got processed (maybe my fault for not following it up). Basically my ward know I'm leaving. It cuted MH on my career break application.
However I had a really bad day at work, we were understaffed and had a lot of ill/ heavy patients. I remember going home almost wanting to cry. I also had very bad family news which came a few days before. I called in sick the next day.
My question is can I go abroad on long term sickness? I really want to go away and completely clear my head. Right now at home on sick leave I'm just dossing about and it's not helping at all. I checked my trust policy and it says nothing saying I can't. Unless there's a unknown rule I'm not aware off, as long as I have up to date sick notes from my GP, it shouldn't be a problem as I'm not breaking any trust guidelines and it's all by the book. My sickness doesn't stop me from travelling also like if I was off sick for back problems but I was doing a marathon the next day.
I don't think I have to use my AL either, I really don't want to. From the people I've spoken to, they all say it depends on the manager. Should I even tell them? To me as long as I have up to date sick notes it's ok but is there anything I can do to cover my self?
Ideally I wouldn't come back to the ward either as this is likely to be long term sickness (3 months). I would just exhaust my sick leave then go on my career break but I've also been told I cannot go on a career break while on sick leave.

Hi everyone, fairly new here but I was hoping I could get some advice based on what a doctor told me.
So I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2022, shortly after I turned 18 and have been still learning as much as I can about it practically every day but recently I went to my doctor to complain about migraines.
I told her that I think stress makes them worse because that does run in my family,(and because it was exam season stress was way up there) but I told her that I also got really bad hormonal migraines around the time of my period. I mentioned that I have PCOS and I thought that this was fairly normal because of the hormonal imbalances and so on.
I told her I was on the pill (dianette to be specific) and she said she thought this might have been the cause of my migraines. She told me I shouldn’t be taking it long term like I had been, on and off for the previous 3 years or so.
I was initially prescribed dianette when I was 15 because I had acne, I’d never had a period on my own until I started the pill at that age. I stopped taking the pill after the dermatologist discharged me saying that my skin was clear and I could keep taking the medication for as long as I liked, which wasn’t the case apparently for BC. I stopped taking it when I was about 17 and my acne came back worse than ever before, hirsutism just happened, I just looked way more masculine in general it was pretty horrible. And oh yeah I didn’t have a period in a year because I wasn’t on the pill anymore.
I went to the doctor about this when I was 18 and they diagnosed me with PCOS.
But recently, when I mentioned to her saying that I hadn’t had a period without being on the pill she said that it sounded like I was being prescribed a pill that was giving me migraines and she told me to stop taking it immediately.
She put me on metformin instead, which I was happy about because basically everywhere online mentions how it’s really helpful for PCOS, and she talked to me about how it can help.
When I enquired about the fact that I might not have a period without the pill, because that’s never been the case for me, she basically said that metformin could help me lose weight (I am fairly overweight and have been since I was about 13/14, puberty age) and overtime I could see my period naturally, but then she also said that might not happen even if I lose weight, but it’s okay because I don’t ‘need to have a cycle’ unless I want to get pregnant.
I thought this sounded very weird from the first time she mentioned this but I just took her advice and stopped taking the pill and started taking metformin immediately. Maybe about a week after I started metformin I had a period, which was really surprising because I’ve never had a natural period before without being on the pill. I’ve never just gone to the bathroom and started my period because I’ve always had some indication of when it might start because of the pill.
But since then I haven’t had another period, and clue tells me it’s been 60 days since my period ended.
So I guess I’m just wanting to hear for other people who don’t ’have cycles’ and is this actually okay or should I just go and see another doctor.
I was talking to a friend about this the other day and I was saying that it’s weird because most women go through different phases every month where you feel a bit worse then a bit better and all that sort of jazz but I think I just feel the same all the time because I ‘don’t have a cycle.’
Is it really okay?

I heard many cases where bank is freezing bank accounts of the users who are involved with the crypto transactions as some fraudster has filed cyber compliant against them which resulted in getting their bank account frozen.
But, What I'm really worried about is that this scam does not seem to be limited to the crypto anymore and can be exploited by some bad actors. Let's say some random dude deposit some cursed money (as small as 1k-5k) to your bank account [Now, you may ask how could random dude know my bank account...ahh well, all thanks to all UPI apps he just need to know your mobile number!!] And after that he files a cyber complaint against you citing fraud has been taken place in his bank account (something like Jamatara style) and money has been taken away. so cyber department may issue a account freeze order against your bank account. [Now you may say what's the issue as this is fake case and can be resolved quickly but let me tell you there were some horror stories which people had shared that they were not able to unfreeze their account even after 1-2 yrs. ]
Now a days, mostly everyone has their mobile linked to their bank account which makes their bank account accessible by knowing just the mobile number. Which I think pose a risk as I don't want some random dude depositing some cursed money to my account. Using the Alias UPI id instead of mobile number as a UPI number would be good idea.
Does anyone hear about such instances and provide any legal options one can have in such cases ? and is it really a big concern to worried about ??

Hello. I'm shaking as I'm typing this now. I have no one else to tell, honestly. I'm balding.
I'm 19 and a girl. I've always had 'thin/fine' hair, but I'm pretty sure I'm straight up balding now. People have been commenting on my hair for the past year. I think I just have bad hygiene habits and eat unhealthily, which affects my physical appearance.
I was washing my hair earlier and a lot came out. I'm losing my hair and I don't know what to do. I don't want to tell my parents about it because they'll only make fun of me, and probably make me do some remedy that's gonna lead to nothing. I'm penniless so I also can't go out and buy any product to alleviate it at least a bit. So much hair was falling out that I stopped mid-wash as I'm scared massaging my scalp will cause more hair to fall out.
My thinning hair is so obvious now. I can't go out without a hat. I don't even want to take my hat off inside the house. I'm so devastated right now because I thought maybe today would be a good day... I was planning to go out and walk.
Please don't tell me to talk to my parents or my mom. They're mad at me right now (for other reasons) and are also threathening to kick me out.
I'm 19 and a girl and I'm balding.
Ps. I apparently can't post on most other subs so I'm throwing this out here.

Let me start with the summary version:
It all began when I first stumbled upon Inside Edition's videos of women - that's WOMEN getting slammed, insulted, and blasted for "showing too much of their body (with kids around)". Then it escalates further when they show a school is photoshopping out women's cleavages to make them look "modest" for their yearbook. I feel this type of treatment towards the female human is all wrong! Like, can't anybody learn to appreciate and look at the female body without censoring it in any way? Can't you let ANYBODY, including kids, get a chance to learn about the differences between the male and female human bodies????
Then comes along... you guessed it. That one video Inside Edition publishes. And after seeing her top blurred, my inner voice in my head: "That's the last straw!" Like, can't some of us get a chance to learn something new that just aroused our curiosity? Such as how the human body changes with time in terms of both genders? Like, now, I can finally visualize myself (my whole body) from little boy to fully grown man. But when Inside Edition published that footage, the new question that took me by storm is: what would a female look like from little girl to fully grown woman?
But with YouTube's broken comment system GHOSTING certain-to-random comments, even on my backup YouTube account, I can't seem to get ANY messages across!
Speaking of which, when I tried to post this on Feminism and AskFeminists, they BOTH perma-banned me for NO REASON and muted me from talking to their mods for 28 days!
Why do I say "no reason"?
"Hello, You have been permanently banned from participating in this subreddit because your post violates this community's rules. You won't be able to post or comment, but you can still view and subscribe to it.
If you have a question regarding your ban, you can contact the moderator team by replying to this message.
Reminder from the Reddit staff: If you use another account to circumvent this subreddit ban, that will be considered a violation of the Content Policy and can result in your account being suspended from the site as a whole."
As you can see, there is no specific reason listed in the message above. So this is why I claim or what I mean by "banned from a sub for 'no reason'. - Even for something that was never officially listed on that sub's rule board.
Once more, I, along with these parents of their own daughter proved one major point: if a male can go topless/show their body, then so can a female - regardless of age!
Can't I get a chance to learn something new? Some evolution/development processes for certain things can be a little more complicated then you originally first thought.
Now here's the detailed version:
Ok, before you start reading below, I want you to visit this and read the whole article to better understand my situation: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/kitchener-waterloo/guelph-parents-angry-after-topless-girl-8-told-to-cover-up-1.3124762
I got banned from Lemmy social site servers for "CSAM" all because of this: the Napalm Girl pic and another thing I saw on Inside Edition's channel in addition to some nude statues - literally artwork of naked people - all because I was trying to protest ~the inconsistencies of censorship towards the female human~ - regardless of their race AND age!
Let me be clear on one thing: I didn't post any "CSAM" on the Lemmy servers! I'm protesting something that I feel is unfair towards the female human.
Please ~actually watch these before jumping to conclusions~ so you can actually understand what I’m really protesting!
Women Who Were Told Their Outfits Were ‘Too Revealing’
Mom Says She Was Kicked Out of Gym For Revealing Tank Top: I Felt Humiliated
Cops Dragged Woman Off Beach After Complaint About Her Bikini
It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit or body is “too revealing”,
Teens React After Yearbook Photos Are ‘Modesty Edited’
it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look “modest” for a yearbook or a portrait!
9-Year-Old Saves Family From House Fire
But censoring a topless preteen girl who thought up an ingenious strategy to stay cool like her friends in the same stuffy room while at the same time not caring who’s around her? THAT’S REALLY CROSSING THE LINE!
It's all thanks to some videos from Inside Edition's YouTube Channel.All these videos Inside Edition posted are developing a question in my mind that's getting the better of me: why so much hate on the female human - even as children? Like, why do they censor the little girl's chest? Can't anybody learn to appreciate the appearance of the female body? Just like those parents of their own 8 year old daughter, I too am genuinely outraged by this type of treatment towards the female human!
And what's the big deal with nipples? I'm just trying to ensure everyone is treated equally regardless of race, and gender... AND age (after what I just witnessed). And if no one's gonna speak up about this, I might as well step up to the plate. After all, somebody's got to do it!
That little girl in the final video made two non-verbal messages clear: one: if a boy can do it, then so can a girl! And two: no one is too young for anything! As long as you have the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to do it properly and safely, you'll be fine. I was able to refuel my dad's car and cook my own dinner when I was 6 and without setting anything ablaze by accident.
However, when I try to illustrate with that video, even though Inside Edition is an official news channel, the responses I get back are rather bitter! They remove my post or ban me from the sites I post on for "promoting nudity involving a minor"!
~WHERE~
~CAN~
~I~
~ASK~
~OR~
~SHARE~
~THIS~
~SUBJECT?!~
Due to my autism, I only know basic English. So I need to illustrate to get most of my messages through. I thought hard, I tried, and low and behold, they were removed hours later mainly because they "didn't fit the subject of the forum". Even though my multi-subject based thread does have some material relating to this forum's topic. These sites and mods are all really stretching my problem solving skills beyond the breaking point for this one. I'm merely protesting with these pictures and videos as illustration. I'm not that good with words, so I need pictures to get half my messages across as noted above.
Many subreddits or forum sites don’t accept URLs, pictures, specific website URLs, or even a combination! Thereby hindering my ability to fully explain what I’m witnessing! In this case, the sentences “It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit is ‘too revealing’, it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look ‘modest’ for a yearbook.” actually corresponded to several videos I beared witness to on Inside Edition’s YouTube channel.
I actually tried to post that URL with that blurred 9yo girl in a subreddit in the past and you won’t believe this: I actually lost my reddit account for 2 days for “promoting nudity involving a minor”! Other sites like the adult video forums who accept uncensored nudity-based images I mentioned just delete my thread! Another site I recall banned me for 1 year for “spam” - even though I only made this protest post twice (after they removed it once).
So that meant I had to approach this from a different angle: after that experience, I got a little paranoid from using that said video URL to illustrate. So I tried explaining this protest without the URLs - and this is in conjunction with certain sites restricting my ability to post images, URLs, certain site URLs, or a combination. It seemed to end up making things worse! Because without the visual evidence, it makes it much harder to fully explain what I’m witnessing.
So without the URLs included - that visual illustration, on the sites I tried along with Lemmy World, it actually made things worse! That’s what lead Lemmy.World mods to ban me for life for “CSAM” or made other people think I watched child porn when I clearly didn’t. The lack of visual evidence (due to my past reddit experience combined with the site’s posting restrictions) is what lead to this “pedophile” confusion. So please help me talk some sense into the Lemmings world, Lemmy.ml, and Lemmy.world mods that this was all a major misunderstanding and Lemmy is pretty much the only reddit alternative out here where I can try asking another question. My attempt to appeal has failed on 3 Lemmy social sites - even after I tried notifying the mods on the third Lemmy server site before making the post, so I need your help now!
I felt after Inside Edition uploaded that blurred 9yo girl video… I thought to myself “That’s the last straw!” Someone needs to protest these absurd censorship laws that they apply to the female human!
Why can males show most of their body but females can’t? - In most cases that is? Whatever happened to "Free The Nipple"?
Children should have the same… rights to do things as any adult! It’s about possessing the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to safely execute this action. E.G, on those “Family Day” episodes of The Price is Right and Let’s Make a Deal; those kids made smart choices when picking the correct numbers to items to win a prize.
I’m not joking around here! This type of treatment towards the female human needs to stop - this includes race and age. - It’s like racist people, but in age form.
Does it look like I’m laughing for fun? Of course not! Since no one else is protesting this, and YouTube has a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post on even random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I have to take more drastic measures to protest by stepping up to the plate and shouting out “Can’t we all be equal in terms of a huge variety of traits?” Yeah, the last thing I need is a vein-bleeding broken-record robot impeding or hindering my ability to seek answers to a question!
We need to learn to appreciate or accept how the female body appears regardless of race and age!
Stop trying to blame it all on me! None of the stuff in the vids posted, is that. If it was, Inside Edition would be the guilty party, and Youtube for not having already deleted them. If it doesn’t violate Youtube’s TOS, it should be fine to post anywhere. If there was even a hint of impropriety to it, at the minimum the vid would have been age restricted.
No one would answer! Not even Inside Edition themselves were willing to offer an answer when I even found their email address, the sites dedicated to helping those in mental, suicidal, or emotional distress (those forum sites even PERMA-banned me for "spam" - that's right, SPAM! (Even though there was absolutely no mention of a permanent ban or rule about "spam" in their forum guidelines!) Is that the definition of "spam" when I make a bad thread only once?! And when I try to appeal the ban, the same message "please contact the administrator if it was done in error" is blocking my ability to click the contact button! Or sometimes it's a blank white page with that message in the top left corner of the window! - Which adds more insult to injury, because I can't click anything as all the buttons have disappeared! That means I can't log out of that site either!), OR the adult video forums that support uncensored nudity images would accept that video link URL let alone the entire topic itself! So I really am at a loss for thoughts and words on what I just experienced! Heck, I even tried the professional therapists of talkingforchange.ca But even they too were too reluctant to talk as they claim my post regarding the censorship of women is not for their platform and they disconnected the chat 2 seconds after their last reply to me. And I highly doubt that ANY site will allow me to illustrate with a picture of the Napalm Girl (Phan Thi Kim Phuc) when she was 9, certain pictures of Pampers diaper boxes (why do you think they (Pampers, Huggies, etc.) even allow a pic of a topless little boy or girl to be plastered on a diaper box we see in grocery stores/supermarkets everyday?), Leela when she was an infant in the episode Leela's Homeworld, or even Belgium's famous kids: Manneken Pis/Jeanneke Pis. That, combined with YouTube having a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post comments on certain-to-random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I'm forced to take more drastic measures to get my messages across. All this combined, ~I'VE NEVER FELT SO SHUNNED FROM THE INTERNET IN ALL MY LIFE!~
But here's a strange catch: sometimes on some sites, Napalm Girl is censored, other sites she isn't. So I felt that I need to protest this. It seems everyone is too chicken to even start this subject! Don't these numbskulls know not to judge a book by it's cover?! This is where I ask myself "NOW WHAT?!". This can't be one of those "exceptional" cases where they say "suicide never solves anything" doesn't apply to these types of situations. In other words, all hope for resolving these types of situations really is lost. I really do feel left in the dark on both the subject of sound effects and nudity!
Once more, I'm not being a ped, I'm protesting all these absurd censorship rules and regulations that revolve around the female human - regardless of race and age - after what Inside Edition posted. Watch the videos I found again for clarification. In other words, ~the inconsistencies of female human censorship~.
Can you really - you know, hurl insults at Inside Edition or blast them for what they did? It was their idea to publicly publish the footage. Just like how that one photographer made the choice to publicly publish footage of the Napalm Girl when she was 9 and completely nude. Therefore, it should be ok to share this footage anywhere.
But some areas censored Napalm Girl's nipples, but others did not - excluding her groin. Then there's the diaper boxes I found in any supermarket. And finally... Surprise surprise: typical women being scolded by other people for wearing something "inappropriate" or "showing too much of their body". I look around and since no one else is protesting about this, I might as well do it! After all, someone's gotta step up to the plate to hit that ball! I will not sit idling by the sidelines and continue to watch the female human get treated/censored like this! I will stand up, step up, and speak out towards these absurd reactions, rules, and regulations that revolve around the appearance and censorship of the female body! What about the famous Jeanneke Pis in Belgium? Do you think she along with other nude statues are trying to promote pedophilia?

Hi, so a couple? Weeks ago, I’m pretty sure I had food poisoning because my sister and I both felt the same way about couple hours after drinking this matcha drink. However, I was still feeling the effects for days. Fast forward to this past Friday. I was feeling better with some discomfort in the centelower stomach like cramping or like rumbling, but I was so hungry since I had to fast for hydrogen breath test that I just focused on that. I felt better after my test.
Today, I ate and drank something that I’ve had before quite recently and hadn’t had a problem with it. I’ve been up all night having this rumbling/weird noise from my lower intestines and some nausea. I had diarrhea a few times but I’m burping a little and I felt bloated. I think I drank my milk tea too fast and it made me bloated. Mylanta hasn’t been helping and I took zofran around midnight but I can’t tell if I feel slightly nauseous still or if it’s in my head. I’m wondering if I’m having a flare up or just didn’t heal from the suspected food poisoning. I feel like I have to use the restroom and have diarrhea but nothing comes out and barely any gas.
I was improving from gastritis that I had in nov/dec l and was supposed to get off protonix already. I’m so frustrated and anxious and sad. I’m borderline having panic attacks bc the nausea triggers my phobia and I don’t want to vomit :( please be kind and thanks for reading my rant. I’m just so tired. I know others have it worse than me too and i feel bad for complaining.

I S Hi I’m new to this reddit thing so sorry if I make any mistakes.Basically this all happened a few months ago me(f 16) and my friend(f 14) I’ll call her meep we’re having a sleepover,she was on her phone most of the time which I didn’t think to much of when she then said to me hey can a few of our other friends(both f 14) come which I said sure because we where all friends now when they first came we did basic things girls do at sleepovers like doing eachother a hair and stuff until one of my friends takes something out of her bag I didn’t really cat eat first thinking it was something like clothes or make up until I get a good look at it and realised she had bull a bottle of beer out.Meep seeing this was like omg you actually managed to get it in your bag with my other friend I’ll cal her Lew said ya and bragged about how easy it was at first I wasn’t to keen on it since it being in my house but out of pressure drank it.A while later me and my friends start planning the day ahead of us now jump to the next day me and my friends start walking which all of them weren’t to keen on since it was a 1 and a half hour walk but sucked it up to our town (btw we live in a small town in a small country) anyway we where walking to a park originally but we all got hungry so we walked to supermarket but my friend (I’ll call this one royal)went to her house to pick up stuff and a bit later lew had to get something so it was just me and meep just sitting around eating on a platform when royal came back us three we’re walking around when we saw royals boyfriend(m 14) and his older brother(m 19) royal then started running after them yelling out to them and so then a bit later royal was flirting with her bf and me meep and the brother were just sitting around then we finally meet up with lew we then decided to go to the park together which ended badly in a fight where police where called but that’s not important anyway a bit later my friend called her bf and made sure he was ok and he said why don’t we try hanging out again tomorrow w which she without asking said yes so now me and my other friends had to go out again without being asked if it was ok with us but we also didn’t really care since most of us did wanna get out of the house so another jump to the next day me and my friends meet up with them we did give to walk to their houses bc they needed to get ready but after that we had a bit of fun the bf claimed a roof followed by royal lew and meep who tried but chickened out they told me to clime up but I said hell no I ain’t stupid they also tried getting the brother to but he told them to piss of he then sat of a rubbish bin which o tried to as-well but couldn’t jump high enough until he showed me how.Once we where done we went to the park well except for meep royal and her bf who went to her house to pick up something so me lew and the brother where on our way to the park when we got there we sat in this tunnel looking thing and just started talking to each other me and lew where sitting next to each other when he decided to sit in the middle of us which I thought was weird at the time but said nothing bc I didn’t wanna try make it weird bc again he was 19 but anyway my friends came back and we sat in this tree house looking thing I was mostly sitting with lew when hake moved away for a bit and then the brother sat down next to me I though it was weird bc there was room other places then he put his hand around my shoulder I looked up and royal was just winking at him and me I tried to signal to her that I was uncomfortable but she was still acting like it was nothing I then signalled to meep and unlike royal got the hint right away and thankfully said Alr guys let’s go it’s getting late and said we had to go I then got up and walked with meep royal complaining about leaving said fine and asked them to walk us home which they agreed until after a bit lew told them to go bc she didn’t want them knowing where I lived which I was really thankful for after that royal and her bf kissed goodbye and left which I was gonna do until I felt someone behind me grab my waist and kissed my cheek and gave me paper with his Snapchat I was gonna throw it in a puddle when lew asked what was in my hand so I explained what it was and she said oh how cute and asked if I was gonna add him dis it’s wanting to say no and wanting to tell her what happened I honestly can’t explain it but I just couldn’t but I have her the paper which she added him and made a gc with me him her and royal which was then when they made plans to sneak out with them and go on a night walk they asked me and meep to come which meep said no bc she thought the brother was a creep and I tried to say no but once again with pure pressure said yes royal and lew where to busy getting ready to even thing about meep in which I said hey why don’t I just stay here with meep and keep her company which they laughed and said cmon let’s go,it was 10:30 at night when we snuck out them excited to see them and me paranoid on my mum getting mad about me disappearing when we meet up with them me lew and the brother walking ahead I was holding hands with lew originally but the brother grabbed my hand and so we where all just walking I was ok with it but the thing that threw me off was what royal was saying she was just making very sexual jokes about me and this 19 yr old man which I was uncomfortable with but was to shy to say anything about once we got to the place which was under a bridge we just sat down and talked about stuff lew then went some place else which was then followed by royal and the bf I tried running off but royal told me to stay back so I did now it was just me and the bf brother idk why I didn’t think this would happen but he sat really close to me and that’s when he did it at first he just grabbed my face made out with me which I tried to say no or stop but I was to scared to say thing and then he just started touching me places and I tried with all my might to get him to stop but couldn’t then I heard yells from royal saying she couldn’t find lew me using this as a reason to get away yelled I’ll look for her and tan off I wasn’t actually looking for her though I was on a bathroom trying with all my might to not let out any tears which was really hard then I heard yells so I looked out and realised it was meep who had secretly been following us so I used her as a opportunity to get away and then said hey you guys look for her I’ll leave with meep signalling to her I wanna leave which again she understood and acted tired and said ya I wanna go now so we did which I then turned around and saw the brother just following us I let him follow us idk why but once we where around the block I said to him my house was close and he could go which I waited until he had actually left to start walking home and obviously I wasn’t near my house there was still a twenty minute walk which I just started braking down my friend was just hugging me and said it’s ok and saying what did he do to you which say I don’t know why but I just couldn’t say anything once got home I threw up I could still feel him everywhere in my mouth on my thighs and on my waist and other places I wanted scream all I could think about was how I was such a slut and couldn’t even say anything or stop it I wanted to die I wanted just anything to get the memory and taste out of me I then started telling my self about how worthless I was and how I my mother really did raise a stupid and pathetic person after a bit I fell asleep with my dog next to me (he’s a American bully)so I thought that I could at least have some sort of protection after a bit my friends came back and fell asleep I knew this bc they really don’t come back some quiet and woke me up now this was the last day they where at my house so they all went back to their houses and i really do wish I I could say this was the end I really really do but sadly this was not after going back to school and acting as if everything was fine and nothing was wrong I realised that royal and lew haven’t been to school for a while and the next day lew came to school and I found out that sadly the brother 🍇ed her when I found this out I feel apart I was sick shocked and just didn’t know what to do my friends told her to tell our health teacher she’s the teacher who deals with situations like this so she did the teacher said she could miss a few classes and stay in there with me and meep that was when I told them what happened to me they where both mortified that was then when lew reveille the brother wanted to grape me aswell and even told her he was gonna and how he would ask to hang out and to it at the same place he did to her I was honestly shocked and paralysed with fear remembering how he actually asked to hang out a the other day anyway I then asked her what she wanted to do bc our teacher suggested telling the cops tbh I really didn’t want to bc I was trying to keep this whole thing away from my mum but knew I had to so I walked to the police station with a few other friends and told them everything after that I knew I had to drop royal she literally let everything happen even with lew I’ll explain later with lew but we dropped her now obviously that east’s she was just making up excuses and even said that the brother was forcing her to say and do things and then started yapping about how he forced her to do those things but I saw right threw her lies so did keep but idk why but lew actually believed her until she also finally saw right threw her lies oh also brother actually has a gf who is his age ik real shocked expected her to be 8 anyway recently the cops did find him and I’ve got a meeting with one of them oh another big thing turns out we ARNT the first people he’s sa wanna know the first person he did? Get ready 🥁🥁his fucking brother ya that’s right he literally graped his brother and it gets worse he did it when the boyfriend was fucking 8 anyway I might not update for I bit but I promise there will be one

My boyfriend has done things that has made me feel insecure and one of them was watching porn even though we are dating and I told him how bad it makes me feel. I made sure to satisfy him as much as he wanted when he saw me (multiple times a week/day, a lot of bjs/sex). I never have withhold intimacy/sex from him during this whole relationship, even when I didn't feel like having sex because I don't want him jerking off to other women but now I don't want to be intimate with him at all right now (we have been fighting). I can't tell if he's watching porn during this fight cause he's lied to me before about it. He has adhd so I think he lacks control/is hornier than most people. I don't know if I'm overreacting if I get upset later about him watching porn during this fight/break
tl/dr: Idk if I should get upset at my boyfriend if he watched porn during our break/fight cause I told him I don’t like it in the past

Handed my notice in and now my work life is hell (and it was awful before)
I handed my notice in at my workplace last week. My boss asked me to not speak about my new job to anyone during work as they “don’t want anyone else to be encouraged to leave”. They did say I could talk about it outside of work but to not “big it up” to anyone. When they told my colleagues I was leaving they told them all to not speak to me about it and again only outside of work… A couple of employees asked my new working hours and I told them it was a 8 hour day with an hours lunch break, starting at either 8am or 9am. One of the colleagues said “nice! so you could have a lie in sometimes?!” And I replied “love a cheeky lie in”. I also then said that “we’re not supposed to talk about the job in the workplace so can’t really say any more”. I currently work 10 hour days with a 45 min lunch break. The following day I was pulled into the office with two bosses who said it had got back to them that I was telling my colleagues I’m on “loads more money” and that I’m bragging about my new work hours and getting “cheeky lie ins”. Id also like to add that the women in the workplace are very young and have consistently lied and made up rumours about me since I started working here 3 years ago. As an older woman, I’ve made no friends here and this has been one of the main reasons I’ve wanted to leave as well as having a career change. I was completely taken aback by this conversation with my bosses, and I reiterated that it was a casual conversation and again the girls were adding in lies and blowing my words out of proportion. My actual words were “they’re bitching about me again, I’ve completely had enough of these girls, I don’t get a break from it all”. My bosses then asked “were you bullied at school ? because you’re being so sensitive”. I began to cry and told them I couldn’t express my anger about all of this and that this is really the straw that has broke the camels back now- and that no, I was not bullied at school. My bosses then said that if I want to leave the business that’s fine but to “not take down the whole staff team with you”- as if I’ve been bad mouthing the company and encouraging people to leave?! My new job will be contacting my current employer soon for a reference and I am terrified they might give me a bad one! My boss said “you need to stop making silly jokes about cheeky lie ins cos that is what’s getting you in trouble” and STUPIDLY and IRONICALLY I replied “well don’t mention that when you get called for a reference” to which my boss replied “well let’s hope they don’t ask”. My bosses then said “we take it very personally when people hand their notices in” to which I replied “Why? It’s a personal choice for me and my future? It’s not a personal attack on you as people!”
I added “do you know how difficult is it when not a single person in my actual team acknowledges my resignation, and isn’t allowed to talk to me about it? No one has congratulated me? I’ve had two colleagues (who barely know me) ask my new work hours and that’s it!” And they said “no one will congratulate you- you’re leaving them in the shit by leaving”. I’d also like to add that since I’ve been there NO ONE ever wishes any one good luck when they leave. I always get someone a card and a bottle of wine- just to be kind, even though no one really talks to me.
The one friend I did have at work has now left and I asked her if her conversations were being censored when she handed in her notice- and she was leaving to go to a competitor! She said that she couldn’t say the competitors name but she was allowed to speak about her new job! I’m not even going to a competitor! I feel like this is so personal against me!
My bosses pulled me in the office six months ago because they saw my CV on indeed and questioned me about if I wanted to leave. I said that I was open to new opportunities because I felt like I was being excluded from my team, that I was constantly being left out of the loop, and that numerous personal lies had been made up about me from my colleagues- all things I had brought up to them in the past and done nothing to resolve.
My bosses said they were happy I’d been honest about thinking about leaving and to let them know if I was going to interviews- which I did. At the works xmas party a colleague asked me if what my long term goals were and if I wanted apply for a higher position within the company or be open to look elsewhere. I casually replied that I’m being very open to opportunities and I’d seen a couple job ads that took my interest but might not even apply. This colleague then told my boss at the party that I was HAD GOT A NEW JOB AT ANOTHER COMPANY. My boss then confronted me in front of all my colleagues saying I’d disrespected the whole company and that I was being unprofessional, shouting at me. I told my boss I wanted to go home and she said “No you can stick out the rest of the party to make sure your colleagues know that nothing is wrong”. That next week at work I was brought into the office twice, where I was told my behaviour was “disgusting, unprofessional and out of line” and that I could “not discuss my future career prospects with anyone at work”. They also said “we wanted to give you a promotion but now we’d have to train you for a month on professionalism before you took that role”. I again would reiterate the girls had taken this to the next level, that I hadn’t even applied for anything I was keeping my options open?!
My bosses have NEVER ever made criticisms on my actual work because there is nothing to fault. I’m great at my job, but it’s like they don’t like who I am? I’m always kind, always bubbly and smiling. Even though I’ve got no pals at work or speak to anyone outside of it. The anxiety of all of this made me vomit the next day at work and I’ve been experiencing migraines for the first time.
Can anyone give their thoughts on this situation? Have I been out of line or am I being gaslight into making me think I have been? I’m so incredibly low and I’m just counting down the days before I leave. I feel sick about even going back to work the rest of my notice

hello all,
i will give more context later in the post, but for people who don't want to read all of that mess: what do you do about a pwBPD trying to break up your relationships/friendships because you "don't pay attention enough to them anymore"? my partner already recognizes the abuse so there's not really a risk of me getting broken up with, but i'm worried about the pwBPD reaching out to our mutual friends. i'm mostly afraid that our mutual friends are going to think i'm trying to control the narrative or cover something up or anything weird like that? which is kind of ironic because it's what she's doing already, i just don't want to be forced to get on her level lol. at this point im so done with this pwBPD i don't care what they think of me, just would really like to keep my other friends.
i'm thinking about just asking my friends something like: "hey if this friend (pwBPD) messages you trying to talk badly about me or my partner, can you let me know so i can talk to her some more? it's something we're trying to handle privately between us 3 but unfortunately we found out she's already talking about us behind our backs to other people so we would really appreciate it if you ignored it for now if it comes up. i'm so sorry about any stress this might cause you, please let me know if you want to talk more about it" or something along those lines. i don't want to give them too much information or anything out of respect of everyone's time and privacy but i wonder if giving more details would help? is this a good start or would you guys recommend saying something else?
more details, you don't really have to read past this point but it helps for background information & gets into detail of the abusive behaviors:
it's just such a huge mess i just wish i never met this person. she's trying to get my partner kicked out of their housing situation already, and turning their other school friends against them to the point where my partner might have to move back in with their parents. she was originally introduced to me by my partner and they had been best friends for a really long while so they cry to my partner every day like "how can you be dating someone that hates your best friend", demanding my partner come home from doing stuff with me to 'help' her with the stupidest stuff like going to a routine doctor visit (??) or fixing her laptop, etc. and she will throw fits and say stuff like "friends sometimes just have to do things they don't want to help their friends or even just make them happy for a little while" when all this person does is scream at my partner at this point. and then when i try to talk to her too so she leaves my partner alone (we were never really too close to start with) she just brings up our relationship and says stupid things like "so how's *that* working out for you" or asking really weird invasive sexual questions? it's part of the reason i'm scared to talk about it with friends - i'm worried if they ask me for proof of what this person is doing i'll have to show them all the awkward texts of her being weirdly sexual and i don't want my friends thinking about what me and my partner do in private haha 😅 it's almost like she o*nly *spews sexual-related abuse over text and then keeps the rest in-person or over the phone so we don't have any proof against her that wouldn't be extremely awkward. it's really sickening to me how quickly she turned on us when she has been stable / on medication / in therapy for so long. i almost wonder if she was interested in one or both of us romantically/sexually or something and us deciding to date put her over the edge... she seems really fixated on me specifically despite never making any real effort to talk to me 🤷‍♂️ besides occasionally sending me tiktoks, but she sends them to me on the tiktok app... which she knows i have had uninstalled for almost a year now? really confusing and frustrating person, she will also try to bait people into talking to her through vague facebook statuses and typical passive aggressive stuff like that, but never outright ask anyone besides my partner (her 'best friend') to hang out with her because she thinks everyone else hates her 🙄 i didn't hate her at first, but now it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy for her
my partner originally tried to reassure me that she wouldn't do anything like this but she's clearly already started, so we're trying to figure out what to do and i figured it would be best to ask here. thank you guys (sorry for formatting / english too, and how this got a little rant-y)

I'm not sure if this is the appropriate forum, but I thought I would seek some advice. I am experiencing difficulties with sleep. I've always been somewhat of an insomniac, yet I never struggled to fall asleep, particularly when I was exhausted or felt "sleepy."
Since the start of this year, my drowsiness has increased, yet my sleep time has drastically decreased. I can barely sleep, getting no more than 2 to 3 hours of sleep each night. As a result, I spend my days exhausted. Despite this chronic sleep deprivation, I still struggle to fall asleep at a reasonable time. This issue hinders my productivity and leaves my mental capacity at an all-time low. Often, I won't be able to sleep for 48 hours or more, even though I'm extremely exhausted and drowsy.
The other day, I slept at 6 a.m., woke up at 8 a.m., worked all day, and went to the gym. I don't skip the gym, knowing sleep deprivation is bad for my workouts, and I try to tire myself as much as possible hoping to get a good night's sleep. Anyway, before going to the gym, I took a sleeping pill along with an antidepressant, so I was sure I’d fall asleep on time. I returned around 2 a.m., thinking I would sleep like a baby. I couldn't. I finally fell asleep around 8 a.m. and again only for a few hours, waking up at 11 a.m. This is just one example of many.
I wasn't worried about it until I saw my mom cry the other day, telling me she was worried about me and that I couldn't sleep and it didn't feel nice. I don't share my problems with anyone and people can't tell if I'm going through something as i tend to "laugh it off" but my mom said, "Tumhare chehry se pata chalta hai, kya huwa hai tumhe?". I have taken a few consultations, and they all recommended medication but I don't want to rely on it.
I'd love your take on this and hopefully come up with a practical and logical solution.

As the title asks, how do you deal with work-related anxiety?
For context, I've been diagnosed with Persistent Depressive Disorder with Anxious Mood. For the first few years of my diagnosis, I was prescribed with anxiolytics (clonazepam, alprazolam) but I've been off benzos for a year now.
I'm honestly doing well these days, except thinking of my work and actually working give me so much anxiety.
I might even low-key have PTSD due to my field of work. As in malala talaga yung thoughts ko when it comes to work, I always assume the worst. I spiral into depression whenever something bad *does* happen.
I'm not asking for advice, btw! I want to hear others' experiences about anxiety related to work. How do you deal with it?
Thank you!

31F. Been in a total of 3 serious relationships. First one was when I was 21 with a guy 6 years my senior. A “devout Christian” who cheated on me repeatedly, kept our entire relationship a secret, and was hooking up with his ex behind my back. The betrayal and gaslighting from that relationship messes with me to this day. My second relationship was the most serious. I moved interstate for him, we got dogs together, got engaged, wanted to start a family etc. He broke up with me suddenly because he decided I wouldn’t be a good wife and mother of our child (ouch) and ended up with one of his female coworkers. My third (and current) relationship I feel constantly on eggshells waiting for him to up and leave. He has a lot of anger issues and calls me names when he gets set off (a f*ckwit, a head case, a gronk are the most recent ones). He’s told me he can’t imagine marrying me because of how insecure I am. But despite seemingly hating me so much, he won’t leave.
I’m a victim of quite bad childhood abuse and neglect. My mother abused the hell out of me until she ended up taking her own life when I was 24. I obviously have very bad abandonment issues as a result and I believe this has a lot to do with the relationships I end up in.
I know I have my issues, but I work extremely hard to be a good woman. I’ve been to so much therapy, I’ve worked my ass off to get multiple degrees, I’m in a high position in nursing, I always try to be kind to people, I am very devoted to self-care and looking after myself. I have had periods of being single to heal and move on, and I know what I have to offer. Yet I constantly end up in these situations time and time again. Before the “you are the common denominator here” comments; anyone who is around my age and has been single knows how hard it is to find genuine, loyal people who believe in love and want to communicate and grow together. The dating pool is rough. And someone who is perfect on paper can change. People lie about who they are in the beginning and end up showing their true colours way down the track. Once you love someone, it’s very hard to let go.
I’ve been a hopeless romantic my whole life and, despite being burnt and betrayed over and over, my heart still craves love and believes in “the one”. I see everyone around me starting families and getting married and I want that so bad. I want someone to love me as hard as I love. I’m always the one who loves too much. Is it even possible to meet a man who can meet me on my level, or is it too late for me? My partner told me this morning if I was ever single again, I’d be too old and no one would be interested in me anymore. That men only want girls in their 20s.
I just want to be loved.

I'm 42m.
I have never had close friends and have no family. I try to think of why i turned out like this. I grew up in a middle class home. My dad made ok money but worked night shift my entire childhood, he rarely spoke to me or did things with me. My mom was a stay at home mom until i was a teenager.
I think most days my parents did not really interact with me except for essential things, so they gave me food and clothes, but doing things with them was very rare, like we went on vacations maybe 3 or 4 times during my childhood. I never learned to ride a bike or to swim. I think i learned to tie my shoes when i was 12, i taught myself. I remember that i did not learn to use the bathroom until i was 3, and that also i taught myself, i didn't understand for a long time when i was at other peoples houses or my cousins houses why they had small toilets for the babies.
I remember specific things that happened that stand out in my mind as being especially bad. There are 3 that i can think of.
When i was like 5 or so, i remember being in my room very cold. I didn't understand at the time, but later i came to understand that our house was very drafty and cold in the winter because we had wooden windows and they should have been painted about once a year, they were not maintained and so did not shut all the way were always cracked open a small amount. Also the furnace did not heat the whole house, it only heated it until the thermostat on the 1st floor reached it's preset point, so the upstairs was usualy 10 or more degrees colder. My mom didn't think that we needed blankets (my sister and me, she is about 4 years older). We had sheets on the bed and that was all. I don't remember if it was my sisters idea, i think it was, we went into the hall closet at night to get more blankets and my mom caught us and yelled at us and made us put them back. She said that the blanket i took was a wedding present and i didn't need it. Years later i remember my sister as a teenager having several arguments with my mom about a comforter that she had bought herself. When i moved out of the house i stole that same blanket that was still folded up in the closet never used. Still have it.
When i was 9 i got very sick. My mom thought i had some kind of flu. I kept throwing up. She did not take me to the doctor. She always said how dumb it was how people took their kids to the doctor all the time just because they were sick. She kept giving me ice cream because she said that was good for throwing up and keeping energy up. I was sick for i think more than a whole week, not sure if it went on for 2 or not. Still didn't take me to a doctor, i kept throwing up. Then one day i collapsed and they called an ambulance. It turned out that i was diabetic and was throwing up because my blood sugar was too high.
Later, i think i was 12 or 13. I developed ingrown toenails. My big toes would bleed and ooze every day. When i came home from school they would be stained with blood and some yellow. My mom would yell at me for this and scold me for not taking better care of my feet. This went on for about 6 months. My mom got a foot bath for me, and told me to soak my feet in warm water and gave me these sharp sticks to try to pry the nail out of the skin, but it didn't work. Eventually she did take me to a doctor who performed the surgery to cut the toenails out.
Other things that i remember, smaller things, were things like i asked to join the boy scouts at one point and my mother told me she didn't have to do that because she had already done that when my sister was in girl scouts, and i asked to learn to ride a bike at one point and my parents told me i was too old to go ride a bike with training wheels so i wasn't allowed. I told my mom at one point that when i grew up i wanted to have a family with lots of kids, and she told me i couldn't have a family because of my diabetes, it was going to be too expensive.
My parents never hit me, or denied me food, and when i got diabetes my mom would always track all of my sugar levels and how much insulin, she still has stacks and stacks of the monthly sheets for tracking everything the doctors office gave us. But i don't remember ever playing with her or my dad, my dad didn't take me to football games, though he went with my grandma all the time, they had season tickets together. My parents never told me i should join anything at school like sports or anything.
The older i get, the more i think of these things, and look at how much i hate my life, and i blame them and get angrier at them, i hate them. They are in their 70's now, they invite me over for dinner, on the weekends sometimes, i hate going over there, when ever they text me asking me to go i yell at my phone and i wish they would both die already.

This is a thing that has always irked me deeply.
People are one way towards a person while they're alive, but after they've died, suddenly they are overly nice and complimenting and gooey about them, and it honestly grosses me out.
Why didn't they say all those sweet things to that person while they were alive so that they could actually enjoy their kind words?
Sure, in some cases it might be that they took the person's existence for granted and compliments weren't part of their general interactions, I understand that, but then say that as part of your public message about them...
But I think, all too often the things they are saying publicly about the dead are things they've never thought about them at all, and them saying those fake things feels like a performance for the living, trying to show what a compassionate person they are... Some kind of display of their moral humanity or something.
The fakeness feels like a horrible insult to the dead in my opinion. Maybe if the dead person loved fake pleasantries they would like it, but not many people do I don't think...
It feels like people are USING a person's death for their own personal social status gain and it's deeply disgusting to me.
My granny was a pretty unfriendly, snooty, posh and frankly nit-picky and annoying lady. But at the same time she was really true to herself, did what she wanted how she wanted to against what society told her to do, and didn't participate in pointless small talk. Her death was even so fitting to her because she died doing something she was explicitly told not to do for her own safety but she did it anyway.
She had a stand-offish nature but was never unkind to me. She always answered my questions and was pleasant enough, but she wasn't the type to go out of her way to talk to a child lol. We were to call her by her name and not call her granny. I honestly think she was just a bit awkward and not sure how to be a friendly social person, and I'm glad she wasn't fake about it.
My mom told me stories of how she was quite snobby about her passions because she was so serious and advance about them, a bit of a gate keeper in the olden days, but when she recognised someone showing genuine interest in it she would advise them and talk excitedly with them for ages about it. She never acted like she liked someone if she didn't, and even if that's not socially inviting, she didn't care, and I appreciate that kind of genuineness to oneself and others. As far as I know she was able to be cordial with people she didn't like, so it's not like she attacked them, but she wasn't fake nice to them either. She was an unusual character with a really strong unique flavour. I honestly think she would have been right at home in some 19th century British royal aristocracy setting. I've never met anyone quite like her. And family gatherings after her death had a very noticeable and distinct hole in them where she belonged.
And that's probably why I feel extra gross when my family posts publicly about her on anniversaries and the words they use are so sappy, not fitting, and just not genuine at all. They're writing imaginary words about an imaginary person. Why can't they say that they miss her sassy takes on their conversations, or her unique unwavering character that was genuinely one of a kind? Or just say nothing at all if you don't have anything nice or interesting to say...
And also, don't pretend a dead person was never annoying or never did anything bad ever. So disingenuous. That woman had some awful old fashioned opinions, and I can feel her revulsion beyond the grave if I would ever suggest she could have been autistic lol. It feels like I'm being cursed beyond the grave now. Maybe that's why people don't say real things about the dead! lol
Anyway, just wanted to rant about this and wondered if anyone else here felt the same...

Me ( 20F ) and my boyfriend (22M) got ready to go camping to relax and just take our minds off stress and daily routine, my stepfather (45) was alone at home as my mother is in the hospital. We didn't want to leave him alone so we took him to come along with us to relax, everything was amazing, we cooked food, sang, went swimming and then my sister ( 27) joined us with her soon to be husband. Before everything happened, I talked with my stepfather about credits and so about my dream to have camera for taking pictures also have driver licence that I was ready to get once I earn more money. My stepfather has some drinking problems, when he starts, he doesn't know when to finish, so continuously he got slightly dizzy from alcohol meanwhile nobody else drank, fast forward time, he went somewhere and came back with 400 euros first, I won't lie, it took me by surprise and I didn't knew how to act, I didn't want to take money from him as I know how hard it is to earn it, but he insisted, so I did. Fast forward more time, he gave me 200 euros more, I didn't accept those but he threw them on the ground so I picked em up from the ground. Next day, I called my mom to discuss the issue and have her opinion and telling that I wanna give the money back, she otherwise told me to keep the money ( it's a lot of money and genuinely it would help me a lot, but I was also feeling bad about it) so with some reassurance from her, I accepted it. Next thing I know my sister is texting me about it and telling me how disgusting I acted for taking them and how I'm using them for money and I want everything to put on a plate for me.( some history, she used to take money from him, get him drunk on purpose and then talk about it, in the end, she'd get money from him) I've never had a thought about using him, nor my mom, I earn my own money, I never even ask them for money. I feel like shit, because she tried moralizing to me about the incident, and her with my other sister with their so talked about this behind my back. I was planning to give money back to my mom today anyways, but am I the AH?

Hi all,
I was checking my insurance policy on line today and saw a claim for £3000 from June 2021... I made a claim in summer 2021 but never got any money for it. Is it normal for the insurer to put a value on a claim they didn't pay out and put it on my record?
The claim (if anyone is interested): I flooded my house during the cooling off period for my insurance policy being taken out. I left the bathroom tap on and went to work for 12 hours (I have ADHD). I called the insurer the next morning and spoke to a guy who was working from home who told me to get a quote from a builder and call back. It took like 4-6 weeks to get that quote because it was COVID and everyone was either busy or isolating. When I called back they had no record of my original call. They asked me to send in all the documents and wait a few weeks to process, then they moved it to another department. That department asked me to send everything again and wait a few weeks for processing. They did this a few times with each department asking for the same documents to be sent again. During this time my kitchen, lounge and bathroom were a mess but they told me I couldn't start work to get it fixed or they wouldn't cover it. After several months they came right out and told me they thought it was a false claim, their reasons being :

1. They didn't believe I had made the first call to their service and I didn't post pictures of the damage on social media. This was evidence to them that I had flooded the house then taken out the insurance policy.
2. I only had contents insurance which was evidence that I had only taken out one policy that I intended to claim on (I had both home and contents, both with them, but I hadn't claimed on the contents because I had a £500 excess and don't think my stuff was worth that, so they assumed I didn't have it)
3. They said that I had changed my story. This whole transferring departments and asking for the documents to be sent again was their investigation against me, and they said I had sent in different information. I knew this wasn't true because I had literally forwarded the same email each time.
4. They said I had changed the date it happened. They said I had told them one date on the phone then showed them photos dated a week earlier. I had actually told them on the phone that I didn't remember the date but it had been during the cooling off period of the policy, so the lady I was speaking to put the last day of the policy. The photos I had were from the week before (half way through the policy).

I was naive going into this, I have learnt a lot about insurers.
I realised they weren't going to pay out and I was sick of living in a building site so I got it sorted myself. It was the underwriter Southern Rock whom I had this running with.
I am just wondering why it says I claimed for £3000 because my builders estimate was less than half that.

Backstory: this was after I told her in person I was upset the night prior because I came home after work to a mess to me but not to her and she said I was being negative yet again and it wasn’t a big deal.
Me: it’s hard when I bring up a problem and you make me question my own character. I don’t want perfect I appreciate u and value u more than u will ever know…..
Her: our communication is poor. Cause honestly I hear u and I’m trying but I’m also trying to have a voice
Me: It doesn’t feel like u hear me when ur actions don’t change. We just had a family meeting about it. And as much as I want a change I still want u to stay true to yourself too but what can I do to support you better to get those things done
Her: I do clean and do a lot for you too
Me: everywhere you go u leave a trail behind you. The cat water bowl needs water in it every single day. And it’s not that I mind doing it. It’s that it’s a little thing that means the world to me. To show me you do care. The socks, the sheet, the tp roll, clippers left out no one puts things back ever. It’s so many things
Her: some things r blown out of proportion like I get it ur love language is acts of service!!!!!! And I try I really do . Baby I’m sorry idk how to make u happy
Me: yea you do. Never in my life have I been allowed to be weak or carefree. I always hold up the biggest responsibility on behalf of those who can’t. I never allow myself a weak moment bc someone has to stay strong. Honestly I think that’s why I’ve been crying so much behind closed doors
Her: So what can I do and please don’t say clean. Cause I’m breaking down too.
Me: And i feel like an ungrateful selfish little shit I mean you do remind me of that all the time I bring something up. And talking like this back and forth to each other saying negative things at all doesn’t make you change or do better it just hurts you. You ask me what can I do at home, what do I clean? ……. Do I have to ask ? Just pick up after urself. Ur sitting there for hours after work watching tv but don’t look around u for 2 seconds before going to bed to see if the cats have water…. I don’t know why I have to ask for that.
Her: Ok but can u try and understand that im not as OCD as u r so what u think is messy isn’t really to me and I do want to do better for u but sometimes I feel like im just nasty to u. Idk anything I say is wrong.
Me: I get that and that’s the communication part… cause I don’t mean clean like that I just mean maintain. How many days should a sheet be on our couch before it needs changed? When there’s stains spills and a load of fur on it , no because no one will do that but me.
Her: ok but u notice stuff like that and if u tell me I’ll do it. That’s not a big deal to just tell me
Me: so what am I meant to make a list and literally tell you when something needs done is it rlly that hard to notice it? I feel like what I ask for is as basic as possible and it’s just a bad habit. You sit there all night.
Her: what’s wrong with relaxing in my own home? I guess I’m the nastiest person you been with. You have to tell me these things is that hard?
Me: how many more times in this life am I gonna have to ask for u to pick dirty clothes where it goes knowing it bothers me?
Her: I literally want to shut the F down. I can’t catch a break.
Me: and u wonder why I joke and get passive aggressive with it…. Doesn’t matter what way I say it at least that way makes me smile
Her: Y can’t u just say I’m not enough for u. U always say slick shit and I genuinely want to be better for u but honestly don’t ever think I can be. No matter what, I won’t live up to ur expectations.
Me: I think my expectations are reasonable. I’m not gonna cry if there’s a crumb on the floor. U think my expectations are in another planet but it’s not even like that it’s so basic it’s ridiculous. The TP roll…. Come on it’s that freaking hard?
Her: I’m done. I’m not a toddler
Me: well stop acting like one then
Her: okay keep pushing me away. TP really? If not that it’s something else.
Me: you act like your incapable of putting the tp on the roll incapable of putting something away that u took out … incapable of putting ur sock one more foot away where its supposed to go ITS JUST A BAD HABIT I DEAL WITH EVERY DAY I PICK IT UP EVERYYY DAY
Her: just admit it I’ll never make you happy. God forbid you have a bad habit. U wanna know what. Tearing your wife down.
Me: yeah it’s a bad habit, at least I can admit my wrongs
Her: wow
Me: Yeah let’s go over all the things I tore u down about this month. First it was the drinking then it was the stranger u brought in our house, then it was the sex, now it’s responsibility at home.
Her: how bout ur F ing wife struggling at her job and F ing struggling and ur worried about TP
me: because every day for years it’s my responsibility to carry and it’s that amongst the 100 other things I pick up after you and sometimes I want that weak moment and not care about it but I do cause it’s always there waiting for me to put it back together
Her: leave me alone
Me: ok leave me alone too. Ur struggling about work and im struggling about our life!
Her: we need therapy or we need to separate I’m tired of trying so hard to be told I’m not good enough
Me: and whose responsibility is it to find therapy? Cus if it’s not me it won’t happen. I’m just tired of all the responsibility right now. That’s all im trying to say and it’s not the first time I’ve ever mentioned it.