I’ve had my industrial piercing for almost 2 yrs and a half now (i got it aug 2021) i had it done but the piercer is unprofessional (i know..) they did it without any needle or what, they pierced thru it using the bar itself ( ive done no research that why im regretting this now, but ive learned my lesson now no need to lecture me abt lol) anw moving on. during it’s first year like let’s say its 8th month or so it grew a piercing bump. After cleaning it well and taking care of it carefully the bump went away eventually. Fast forward to early 2023 (idk what happened) but it eventually grew another bumps on both holes, both of them looks small bumps which is not that concerning at that time . This time the bump seems to have healed which means it doesn’t hurt nor had redness to it. I thought it would eventually go away if i would just do my usual aftercare but it didnt (note: the piercing still has the minimal bumps on both holes)
Then around bermonths of 2023, my piercing got hit (idk remember exactly how or by what) but yeh, bcuz of that, the bumps had discharge (transparent and yellow one) for quite sometime. I healed it but what i noticed is that after it was healed the bump grew a bit more larger than it was. So i started to be more concern abt it. This is now the time i try taking off the bar for the first time. Bcuz of it i confirmed that both holes are healed. No redness nor swelling nor pain. It was just a bit itchy and cuz its my first time taking it off for few yrs.
I did some experimental remedies of trying to atleast lessen the bump and observe it. Tried spraying alcohol, warm saltwater mixture, taking out the bar before going to bed, changed the bar into a stud earring instead Etc etc. what ive observed, when taking out the bar and wearing it again in the morning the holes gains redness while the bumps only seems to be getting more firm (hard? Almost like boney bump feeling)
That’s all i need to say abt this T-T. I would rlly appreciate you can drop off some suggestions here or any helpful comments abt since im planning to permanently try to heal this thing without any jewelry but im scared that it would only grow worse since I’ve seen how keloids only grow bigger even after the jewelry was removed.
The photos i attached are how it looks like now fresh out from the stud earring im was using just now.
Thank you in advance.

In the heart of Chicago, where the skyline pierced the heavens and the streets pulsed with life, there lived a man named Victor Kane. At 26 years old and a startling 6'3" in stature, Victor commanded attention effortlessly. His piercing gaze seemed to see through the very fabric of one's soul, and his knowing, flirtatious smirk hinted at secrets that few could ever fathom. Victor was a man of many faces, each one carefully crafted and expertly worn to blend into any situation, like a chameleon adapting to its surroundings. Each interaction with another human was as if it were another painting to be hung in the Art Institute of Chicago, a masterpiece of social maneuvering and charm.
To most, he appeared unremarkable, perhaps even a bit dim, an illusion he maintained with meticulous precision. Yet beneath this facade lay a mind as sharp as a dagger, honed by years of strategic thinking, manipulation, and the art of emotional deceit. Victor had learned from the best. His father, a man deeply entrenched in the shadowy world of organized crime, had mastered the art of bending reality to his will. A master chess player, he treated people like pieces on a grand chessboard, moving them at his whim, always six steps ahead. Victor had absorbed these lessons like a sponge, his young mind eagerly soaking up every tactic, every subtle nuance of control.
Battles with his father have left their scars, trailing off Victor like a snake's entrails as they slither through crowded streets, scanning for their next meal. They probe the aura of each passerby, tasting their energy, yet to their disappointment, they find no juicy, dirt-filled sponge of pain and suffering. They taste desires, yet nothing hits just right. Empty husks, devoid of the essence they crave. Living memories enshroud him in a cloud of black smoke, a spectral fog visible only to a witch. A demon, masquerading as a homeless man and muttering incoherent whispers, feels the snake's embrace tighten around him. He halts abruptly, turning to Victor with a knowing gaze. 'I see you,' he murmurs, 'Such discipline and composure may deceive the others, yet it's only a matter of time before they find you.' The homeless man continues his walk, pulling a black suitcase along, his tattered white shirt contrasting sharply with his black suit, and no tie to complete the ensemble.
Victor makes no comment, his mind a labyrinth of dark intentions and calculated moves. He viewed the world as a malleable entity, something he could shape and twist to suit his needs. The streets, the people, the very air he breathed; they were all part of a grand, intricate game where he alone held the key. He had no qualms about using others to achieve his goals, seeing them as mere tools in his grand design. It was a dangerous philosophy, one which required constant vigilance and adaptability. As he moved through the throngs of oblivious souls, he could almost hear the whispers of their deepest fears and hidden sins. The scars trailed behind him, living entities of their own, reaching out hungrily, desperate for a morsel of genuine suffering. Yet the city, with all its noise and chaos, offered little more than hollow echoes and fleeting shadows. Traces of happiness. Lost children in the never ending void of their own desperation. Victor's eyes flickered with a cold, calculating light. He was a master of this urban jungle, a predator in search of worthy prey. The demon’s warning lingered in his mind, yet it only fueled a burning hunger. He thrived in the shadows, where power and control were his for the taking. Each step he took was a step closer to his ultimate end goal, a twisted vision of dominance, only he could see.
In the distance, the city’s lights shimmered like false promises, yet Victor knew better. Beneath the surface, in hidden corners and forgotten alleys, darkness mirrored his own. In this abyss, he felt certain he would find what he sought: the true essence of his own hunger, the raw, unfiltered energy he could devour. Victor thrived on the underestimation of others, reveling when people perceived him as lesser. Such perceptions made his manipulations appear as innocent mistakes, acts of ignorance and oblivion. His favorite targets: those with inflated egos, individuals convinced of their invincibility.
"A person with a big ego is like an orgasm," he often mused, speaking as if to his shadow. "It's just so easy. Their first mistake: telling me we're not equals. Afterward, they reveal all the buttons and levers in their psyche. They hand me their own weapon on a silver platter, asking, 'Victor, please send me to meet Anpu. Please show me the gates of my own demise.' Their insanity begs to be freed from this curse of societal norms. Always the first mistake, then the rest follow." Laughter echoed from the snakes twining around Victor. As he whispered these musings, the words ensnared a group of Venezuelans nearby, inciting them into a frenzy of violence without understanding the spark. Victor watched, casually tossing a silver dollar their way as if to say, "Welcome to the sanctuary," his smirk a shadow under the flickering streetlights. He calls to the boys, 'there now before you boys get into trouble remember this, you're only seeing the lions teeth, yet you haven't seen what triggered it.' They stared at Victor, startled, as he bid them farewell with a two-finger salute from his left temple and continued wandering down the street.
A drone sliced through the air, its camera lens capturing the serpentine twists of the Chicago River below. Victor, watching its flight, was transported to his youth, to days spent cobbling together a demonic owl from discarded household trinkets and an owl decoy. He would pilot this macabre creation through his neighborhood, a spectral puppeteer orchestrating nocturnal ballets which both delighted and unnerved his unsuspecting audience. A sinister grin unfurled across his lips, a shadow's whisper, as memories of those simple machines mingled with the sophisticated arsenal he commanded today. In the digital age, Victor had become a maestro of manipulation, his tools refined yet no less mischievous. Social media platforms were his stage, targeted advertisements and spoofed numbers his actors, each one playing their part in his grand, deceptive symphony. With the deftest touch, he planted seeds of doubt, spun webs of misinformation, transforming allies into adversaries, stitching chaos into the fabric of daily lives with mere whispers masquerading as shouts. His schemes were crafted with such subtlety, woven so seamlessly into the warp and weft of reality, that his victims believed themselves architects of their own undoing.
The crowning jewel of his current machinations was a prototype drone, a whimsical homage to the contraptions of his youth yet imbued with the precision of modern technology. This drone, engineered to navigate from the chilly confines of his refrigerator to the steamy oasis of his rooftop hot tub, was a testament to his technical acumen. Crafted to be mended with mere baubles from any corner hardware store, it stood as a symbol of practical genius, a playful yet potent emblem of his enduring craft.
Victor glimpsed a universe of possibilities within this project, each drone a seed from which new opportunities might bloom. "Perhaps I could craft a model for a dive shop in Australia," he mused. "A sentinel to monitor the slow dance of decay among the coral reefs." Such a gift could forge pathways, perhaps even secure an internship, an opportunity to wield his 417 subclass visa before its flame flickered out. The prospect of traversing Australia's vast landscapes, of weaving his influence through uncharted territories and minds, sparked a thrill within him. Beyond the realm of circuitry and code, Victor possessed a profound mastery over the human psyche. He had the uncanny ability to read individuals, to delve into the murky depths of their insecurities and desires. With the finesse of a sculptor, he could mold a woman’s perception, convincing her of a soul-deep connection, crafting mirages of perfect compatibility. Yet, for all his prowess in the art of deception, Victor adhered to his own strict code. He eschewed physical violence, never staining his hands with assault; his dominion was the mind, his influence woven through the delicate fabric of psychology.
In Chicago's suffocating underbelly, Victor's father regarded him not with paternal concern, rather with venomous animosity. Their relationship was a battleground, devoid of affection or empathy, cloaked threats masquerading as concern. "Victor, if you don't see a psychiatrist, I'm cutting you off," he declared, his voice a cold hiss, a deeper wish for Victor's demise lurking beneath. Victor's laugh, hollow, echoing through the night, a sound devoid of warmth, knew well the true nature of the psychiatrist and the deeper machinations of his father's cruel intentions. His father viewed him not as a son, yet as a nemesis, a presence he wished to erase from existence. Surrounded by the oppressive cityscape, Victor stood alone atop his building, the L line screeching past, the lights below mere distant, watchful eyes. "Tomorrow, I bend reality once more," he whispered into the void, his voice merging with the cold wind sweeping the rooftops.
The relentless pursuit of his father's malice shadowed him into the darkest city corners where shadows moved with intent, whispering of ancient, sinister forces. Here, in the corner of his eyes an oozing of black liquid drenched an alley, a tar monster, a grotesque manifestation of the city’s darkest secrets, its gnarled face and gleaming teeth mirroring the twisted relationship endured. Against a backdrop of a city thrumming with malevolent energy, Victor pondered the fragile line between delusion and reality. "It's only delusional till it works, so is it really delusional?" he mused aloud, his words dissipating into the night where the distinction between madness and genius blurred by darkness.
Retreating from the alley, his figure melded into the shadows, each step deliberate, burdened with the weight of a cursed legacy. He was acutely aware of his dual role, both manipulator and pawn in a grander, more malevolent game, a game orchestrated by forces predating the city itself. Every movement influenced by the sinister energy pervading Chicago, a legacy of corruption and darkness intertwined with his own existence. Victor understood his every action overseen by the ancient entity had taken interest in him, an entity finding delight in his struggle, offering protection at a dreadful cost.
Emerging from the shadows back into the flickering city lights, Victor found no solace in the illumination yet his smile stretched reaching his eyes showing his gleaming razor sharp teeth. These lights did not offer hope only humor; they were beacons of a foreboding reality. He resolved to continue bending reality, wielding the cursed power both protecting, ensnaring him, and pointing out the irony of his situation. Day after day, he would play this dark game, a master of deceit entwined with an ancient force more profound and sinister than any could fathom.
With one final, lingering look at the alley where darkness reigned supreme, Victor Kane laughed, a hollow echo fading as he stepped into the nearby pub. Inside, the warm glow contrasted starkly with the night's chilling embrace, yet the shadows seemed merely to lurk at the edges, waiting. At their usual spot by the worn bar, he found Billy Smith, his old high school Basketball teammate, with two pints of beer ready. They clinked glasses, the sound slicing through the hum of conversations around them. "To the unexpected," Victor intoned, his voice laced with a hint of irony. As they settled into the rhythm of their catch-up, the conversation inevitably turned toward the unfolding news, the war in Ukraine, an event that had caught the world off guard.
"No one ever saw it coming," Billy remarked, his tone a mix of wonder and concern.
Victor's eyes flickered with a dark amusement, and raising his glass again, he offered a toast, this time in Latin, a language that carried the weight of history and secrets. "Ad profundis malorum," he declared, which translated to 'To the depths of evils.'
Billy paused, the words hanging between them like a veil being slowly drawn back to reveal a hidden scene. The toast was enigmatic, resonant with Victor’s acknowledgment of the chaos brewing both near and far, a chaos that, perhaps, only he could navigate.
As the night deepened within the grimy confines of the pub, where every corner whispered of misdeeds and the air hung heavy with the scent of stale beer and lost hopes, the laughter and chatter provided a deceptive cover for the profound game silently playing in Victor’s mind. His cryptic toast, "Ad profundis malorum," echoed a darker undertone amidst the jovial noise.
Across the bar, a woman with long jet black hair and piercing grey eyes watched Victor. Clad in a striking red full-grain leather trench coat, her presence was undeniably conspicuous, yet paradoxically, she remained unnoticed. Despite her short stature, she was fit, her features sharply defined, an attractiveness seemingly almost otherworldly amidst the grime of the pub. Curiously, not even the barkeep spared her a glance, as if she existed in a separate realm, visible only to those she chose to confront. As Billy excitedly shared his plans to open a dive shop with a taco bar on the roof, the woman’s lips moved in a whisper, her voice a soft, clear bell in the din, carrying a dire warning. "I know what you are. We found you." At that moment, a flashback surged through Victor’s mind, a haunting image of a colonial girl he once saw in the Fraser Experimental Forest. His girlfriend at the time had turned to him, her voice tinged with unease. "Victor, do you see what I see? The girl? Yeah, the girl. I can feel something following us. As if it knows what we are yet won't approach, yet I can feel it." This vivid recollection now seemed a prelude to the current moment, a chilling reminder the forces he had glimpsed back then were the same now declaring their presence.
The evening wound down with plans made and stories shared, yet the woman’s prophetic words and the ghostly memory of the girl hung unseen in the air, portending looming confrontations between the light she embodied and the shadow following Victor Kane. As the patrons began to drift away, the shadows reclaiming their territory within the pub, the mysterious woman’s figure faded into the background, her message delivered, her purpose yet unclear but undoubtedly intertwined with Victor’s fate.
The end.

Re: PODCAST: How to Spot a Lazy Manager
I'm telling ya, other than trying to rip off as many people as possible and get as much work out of them, and do the least amount of effort themselves, I don't know why Hagwonites bother. And I don't know why foreigners care more than the people who own the place and/or will be working there 10 years from now.
It reminds me of George Costanza's frustration with his lazy boss Mr. Kruger. You can see the YouTube clip here. Bust your rear-end for what? So it can backslide back to square 1 as soon as you leave and the new person replaces you? You're not helping the place advance, you are helping it idle in neutral.
See if this sounds like your experience at a Hagwon.
1. One: they blame low performance and turnover on employees.
--And every other mistake as well. The students are total brats? That's your fault. You don't teach the lesson absolutely perfectly without training? That's your fault. Kids are bored? That's your fault. A child pokes another child and mom calls about it, again --your fault.
None of these managers actually manage. They give irrelevant or no training. They institute no discipline plan all the staff, students, parents will agree on. They often don't give enough material to teach the class, ALL OF THAT falls on the hands of the foreigners. Imagine that, a place that's been open for 5-10 years still hasn't taken point on all these issues, just push them off on the foreigner and go back to gossiping about how terrible the foreigners are.

• Great minds discuss ideas.
• Average minds discuss events.
• Small minds discuss people.

BTW, I'm not an owner of a company, I can discuss people who should be discussing ideas.
2: They look for quick fixes to complex retention problems.
--That's more than true. I declined to accept a 2nd contract by being offered slightly more money, about double the vacation time, and move up to head teacher. Why didn't I accept this promotion? Because everything I said the entire year was totally ignored, the pay wasn't enough to put up with their stupidity. The vacation was totally bogus because we had to threaten a mutiny just to get 2 extra days due to a break between semesters. Why would I trust them to give me more when they didn't honor the ones in the 1st contract? Search Bar: Mutiny. Also, they harassed the head teacher out of a job, why would I then stick my head in the guillotine after they dragged the body away by the ankles?

But wait there's more!

That's the end of that link, but you and I can identify so many more issues.
3. Physically / Intellectually a bad example for everyone.
I don't know about you, but I don't respect slough-offs and idiots. The person that SHOULD Be working the hardest is the person who owns the place. Did you ever see the video of Elan Musk sleeping on his sofa in his office at the production plant? Yeah, really. The billionaire owner is there to field problems as they come up instead of being called at home and have to drive in at 2am. He suffers more and works harder than anyone there.
Some dumb-butt that owns a hagwon said on here one time,

I don't make my employees do anything that I wouldn't do!

You are supposed to do what your employees do and 10x more than that! You're the owner. This is your livelihood, it will destroy your life if it faulters. You have to pay off employees with severance, pay back loans you probably can't pay off, reduce your living space, sell off assets to survive. You put all your eggs in this basket, it HAS to work, why are you putting the outcome in the hands of people who have no skin in the game?
I don't respect boneheads who should have their educational chops figured out by this point. They should have taken notes and improved themselves as each semester rolls on by. Why are the same problems recurring every semester or every year such as the Halloween or Christmas event, you did the same thing a year ago!
4. Doesn't know your job description.
Not only does a lazy boss not educate themselves about what education is, they have neither bothered to know what teachers actually do. Sure, they scowl through the window or monitor on CCTV, but do they know what they are looking at? Almost certainly not. They tend to focus on the most inane "violations" to give themselves and everyone else the false impression they are REALLY on the ball here, nothing slips past their scrutinous eye on quality and detail! When in fact, they reveal themselves to not only being an obnoxious pest, but clearly don't even know what teachers do every day. I've had to tell more than a few in-class and CCTV observers that the things they are bothering with are so miniscule I question whether they have even taught anyone anything before in their entire lives? It's like me storming in on a mechanic, "I gotcha! I see you didn't grease those fittings!" Then they tell me that is done AFTER the breaks and wheel has been fixed and reassembled. I just exposed myself as not knowing what I'm talking about.
Hagwon management and owners don't realize how much time it takes to do the tasks they are demanding because they've never had to do them before. Sure, waive your hand and expect this or that, but a) they don't know how to do it themselves. b) we are not holding out on them with a Mary Poppins bag of lesson plans. We don't have a quick fix for their ideas. c) it takes research, editing, time, contemplation to add something that perfectly match a class's level. Management and owners think it only takes about 30 minutes to throw something together, when in fact it could be 2 hours. For laughs, ask them exactly step-by-step how the task should be carried out and receive the stupidest answers you can imagine. "Uh, I don't know, some teacher website or something? Why are you asking me? I've only been working here for 10 years, why don't you with your philosophy degree, and 3 months on the job, know how to construct exactly what I want?"
5. Boss is too lazy/stubborn to solve problems.
"I'm the boss. I say, you do. That's the end of it, now get to work, no back-talk!"
If you work in any place like this, the boss is trying to avoid being exposed as a fool. They know if they throw out instructions and ideas, they will get shot down as not knowing round holes don't accept square pegs. To avoid a face-losing situation, they avoid communication at all costs. If every idea is idiotic and everyone knows it, they lose stature and the decree will be considered untenable. If the boss demands something runs and hides under their desk, the chances that the smarter people will get together and somehow make it happen is much more likely. Really, poor or no communication can be interpreted as, "Just make what I'm demanding from you happen, and don't ask me, I have no idea how to do it or I'd be helping you do it."
6. No goals.
--Every day is Groundhog's Day with lazy people. Nothing ever improves. The latest freak-out due to procrastination, poor communication, poor judgement, lack of materials, poor training is just a temporary peak until it is resolved, a lull in the action happens, then another peak or freak-out occurs in a frequency that drives everyone crazy. You just had a blow up last semester about a certain issue, it seems to have gotten through to everyone, but yet here we are again the next semester facing the same SNAFU we thought we already settled. Nope. Lazy people get lazy, let things backslide, then get caught with their pants down time after time. It's like a captain of a ship that sleeps at the wheel until he has to wake up and right the ship before it capsizes. There are no goals for improvement, only maintain just enough to do as little as possible to maximize more time for laziness.
7. No boundaries.
--"Eh, they can do it at home if they don't get it done during the day." The boss is too lazy to prioritize proper workloads. If work exceeds the scope of your position, there is no time set aside during the normal work hours, then your boss has not taken the time to contemplate what your job is, what you agreed to do in your contract, has not taken steps to cut the fat and keep the lean meat. They over-sold expectations to parents, undersold expectations to foreigners. They have no idea how long it takes to finish tasks, nor even if the task really needs to be done in the first place. More is always better according to Hagwonites, even if it's useless/pointless busywork.
8. They don't ever seem to know anything.
Your paycheck is wrong, they didn't issue a pay ledger, they have no idea you're supposed to have a break during the day, don't know the law, don't know when your vacation days are, don't know they need supplies for the things they are asking you to do, don't know what's going on 5 minutes before it happens. They make excuses and delays to figure out how to make it up as they go along. Then when they can't, they make up lies and you have to spend energy debunking the lies. It never ends, they simply have no idea about anything other than, "Foreigner work, we get money" that's about the extent of their master plan.

I'm a college oboe performance major, going into my senior year and planning to start applying to grad schools soon.
My freshman year was the first time I was exposed to reedmaking (before I bought and severely overused my teacher's reeds, developing a lot of bad playing habits in the process). In undergrad, we are required to only play on our own reeds after the first semester, although we can ask for help in adjusting them. However as juniors and seniors we are supposed to be completely independent and suffer grade penalization if we buy reeds.
Over the last three years I have averaged about 10-12 reeds a week during the school year but have not been able to make anything on my own that I can perform on. Our professor really doesn't like to teach a lot of reedmaking stuff so while I did ask for help all the time, it usually didn't amount to much learning, and I was really inconsistent with my playing. I paid other people in the studio for reedmaking lessons and reeds so that I could get by, but that was also inconsistent because it started to affect my grade (my teacher knew that when I could play without severe issues it was because it wasn't my reed 🙃)
As you can imagine, this has created a really stressful reedmaking environment, especially when my peers and younger players in the studio are having more success, consistently. I'm really worried that my playing has stagnated so much as a result of my reedmaking that I won't be able to get into grad school, but also just so frustrated with my inability to learn despite spending far more time on reeds than anything else in school. I've been trying for so long, and I have made no shortage of effort to seek outside help, but I feel like ultimately a large part of the problem is my attitude and desperation creating more issues on top of just being a slow learner.
Has anybody here been in a similar headspace? Were there any strategies you were able to use to overcome it? Is reedmaking something that just never clicks for certain people and they have to circumvent it as professionals? Any and all advice would be appreciated, thank you all!

Can anyone please recommend anything I can watch/listen to/read in French that will help me improve? I was taking 5 30 minute lessons a week with an online school. However, I found it was really difficult learning certain french grammar rules etc because the teachers spoke no English at all. I'm taking lessons with a different school now and while I'm learning a lot, I only have 1 1-hour class a week and I need to supplement my learning with something. I do have conversational sessions over italki, but it can be expensive.My plan is to go to France for 1 month sometime in the future and go to a French school to improve more, but until then I need something to help me improve. I'm currently intermediate level. I can understand/speak well but I find it hard understanding french at normal conversational speed.

Obviously paragraphs and paragraphs of explaining the lore of your world is considered infodumping, but where would you draw the line?
I don't know if what I try to do is considered infodumping. Basically, I insert one paragraph of a character using their knowledge of the world to explain something in the middle of your usual descriptory prose.
For example (an excerpt of chapter 4 from my first attempt at writing a full length novel. I'm about 11k words in):
Despite the boy standing at least two dozen paces away from her, Emily felt like he had drilled stakes into her eyes with his gaze. They were green-within-green without any trace of human white in them. They weren’t natural. They weren’t human. Her heart raced. Foreboding trepidation rushed through her veins. She became aware of her panting and her sweat inching down her forehead. She trembled, all of a sudden warming up despite the stale, cold air in the great hall.
She lowered her head, realising that she had torn holes into her gloves from balling her fists.
Before her stood a Roamer. Samira had taught her about them in her lessons. She was told the last of them died a century ago. A race of mutants created to serve as the personal bodyguards of lords and kings centuries ago, one of them served the Embelwoods of the past. Along with her great-grandfathers, they built the great duchy of New Calinthia on the backs of honour and virtue.
Her right palm throbbed. Pulling off her glove, Emily looked at the angular birthmark on her right palm again, and she noticed that it glowed gently with the same shade of green from the boy-Roamer’s eyes.
From under the boy’s coat, the characteristic Roamer’s dark-veins crept up his pale-skinned neck, stopping short of his jaw like serpents slithering through snow. He took off his hat, revealing a head of black hair. As he made his way through the great hall, nobody spoke a word. She saw tense looks on many soldiers’ faces, the look of shock given by bystanders witnessing a murder.
I've italicised the paragraph in question. It's not really describing action and feelings like the other paragraphs around it, but it also isn't a large wall of text describing the lore and such–that would be an obvious infodump. How large of a break from the flow of action to describe something about the world would you consider an infodump?
Edit: The paragraph also doesn't fully explain what they are fyi. I'm planning to explore the Roamers' abilities later in the story and sprinkle in more tidbits of lore throughout. I can add the premise of the story here for context if someone requests it.

“What defines virtue and how are we to gauge it? An inquiry that reverberates through epochs, its answer as fickle and capricious as the fates of those who deem to ask it. Duty, honor, justice - many over the ages would name these virtues, the conduits through which noble intentions find expression. Yet, as the battlefield of beliefs unfolds, a legion emerges, each as sworn to these principles as to obliterating all who would dare stake alike claim. Thus, battles rage and wars are waged and, in the end, those who are left are no more right than those fell by the blade. Alas, it is the victors whose ideals are etched into monuments for posterity. Except even words chiseled in unyielding stone are fated to fade in time. So is the wicked cycle destined to repeat in all its futility, its ephemeral prize seized again, only to be lost and sought anew. Try and picture, if for but a moment, a world where our rulers paused to reflect on the lessons of yore. They, too, would discern the elixir that enables one to escape the confines of memory—the very burden our fleeting nature forbids us to carry. Progress and evolution. Adaptability and transcendence. Everlasting and yet not stagnant, irrefutable, and yet fluid, these are the only true virtues. Thus, must we ever venture into the uncharted and unfamiliar for only from these unexplored domains may the truly virtuous arise.”
Where: Discord (Video and Voice) + FoundryVTT
When: every Saturday 5 - 9/10 pm GMT+1 (CET), 11 am - 3/4 pm EST
Who: party of 4 players and a DM seeking one extra player
Updates: Recruitment updates will be posted here.
Hello there and well met! If you’ve made it past the flavor text (or skipped it) and through the basic info (hopefully didnt skip past that one) you might very well be at the right address! Without further ado onto the post.

🐲The campaign🐲

Having only just recovered from the Second Sundering and the War of the Silver Marches, the North had been ravaged by a whole new set of tumultuous events - the rise of the Cult of the Dragon and that of the Absolute, the Fall of Eltruel and the short reign of the beholder crime lord Xanathar just some among them. After a brief respite from the twisted and the unnatural the clouds once more begin to gather. Along the Long Road, whole hosts of wild beasts and monsters have been accosting travelers seemingly at random and in the grand metropolis of Waterdeep a sudden rise in crime seems to coincide with strange events passing unnoticed beneath the surface. Amidst all this, in spring of 1493 DR, a party of adventurers delves into a mystery of enchanted gemstones being utilized to nefarious ends by unknown perpetrators all the while navigating the labyrinthine twists of city faction politics.
As implied by the post title, this is an ongoing campaign (we are 12 sessions in at the time of this post). Due to some irl commitments weve recently dropped a player and are looking to replace them.
As the title suggests, this is a roleplay focused mystery/lore driven campaign. Expect an overreaching plot with ample secrets to uncover, conspiracies to unravel and eldritch truths to unearth. The first word of the password is "Doth". On the same level of importance or more important even be that the players preference, there is a variety of subplots to engage with, from small and goofy and random to ones rivaling the main story arc in complexity and variance. Among these, individual character story arcs play a leading role, at times seamlessly intertwined with the current focus of the party, at times separate and independent.
As was already mentioned and is further described below, this is a roleplay focused campaign and a roleplay heavy game. This means that roleplay exists as a unifying concept for all other aspects of the game including exploration, combat, and puzzles. That said DnD is only DnD with all three of its main pillars intact and this campaign is no exception in that regard. I very much enjoy the mechanical side of the game as well besides roleplay and so things like multiphase boss fights and custom magic items are definitely on the table.

🧙‍♂️The DM🧙‍♂️

Hello there, Jay here, 25 yo law student from Central Europe currently working on finishing his master’s degree, trying to stay afloat in the current lease market. I study and work in a law firm by day and DM or play DnD by night (more like evening but night sounded cooler). I have been a big fan of TTRPGs since my early teens and of online DnD for the past five years. I’ve DMed multiple campaigns, finished CoS not least among them and I currently play in a long-term campaign. Before you ask, yes, my schedule is strained but not to the point I am unable to engage with my hobbies.
I would describe my DMing style as driven, realistic, and involved but also very conscious about player agency and collaborative storytelling as core values that make TTRPGs so popular and unique. I spend a lot of time ensuring the worlds I create and the stories I want to tell feel alive. From hand-picked music, to fully voiced NPCs and scenic descriptions designed to breathe life into the campaign setting I daresay my games rival in quality those of the professional DMs that charge for each session.
There is a drawback to this all however. Second word of the password is "thy". I expect a lot from my players as well. Writing a story in DnD is not a one person job. It takes a collective effort of the entire group to create something truly unique, something that one can be proud while looking forward to each session. Unwinding and letting off steam means something else for everyone. For me it means losing myself in the creative process of roleplaying an NPC or describing a scene, watching my players masterfully portray their own characters or having the party derail my plans in an awesome unforeseen and unexpectedly enriching way. If you find yourself in any of what I just described than this may be a game for you. If you don’t, that’s fine. This is definitely not a game for everyone.

🏰The setting🏰

Forgotten Realms is a default setting of Dungeons and Dragons but it is anything but boring and mundane. With now decades worth of lore behind it, it offers an unparalleled opportunity for anyone wanting to build on solid foundations to bring their ideas to life. While it has garnered a lot of attention lately with the release of a certain videogame (more people now know Astarion than a good amount of Hollywood celebrities I’d say) it has had its loyal following even before then, being constantly expanded and living its own life in a host of both online and home games. It’s been a natural choice of mine for a while now and not once have I had any regrets. The third word of the password is "mirror". I feel with how great of a variety of content the Forgotten Realms offer everybody is able to pick something that suits their creative vision. In summary the Forgotten Realms almost feel like a real place with how much worldbuilding has been done with them and offer a diversity of content few other TTRPG settings can boast.
When it comes to setting of the campaign in the world of Faerun I have once again made a somewhat traditional pick and decided to place the onset of the game onto the Sword Coast, more precisely into the city of Waterdeep. If one of the key upsides of Forgotten Realms is diversity of content, Waterdeep is one of the best representations of this. Being the largest settlement on the known Faerun, Waterdeep offers nigh limitless options in terms of main story arc genre, character creation and character backstory implementation. It has everything every large TTRPG settlement ought to have (fickle upper class, enigmatic factions, quaint taverns and extravagant nightclubs, always in bad mood city watch, a castle and a harbor) as well as few pretty original ideas such as colossal definitely not alive statues, a city council where even its members don’t know each other’s identity and a massive dungeon right underneath the city where you can literally fall right from a tavern taproom.
In case you are wondering, while this campagn takes place primarily in the city of Waterdeep itself, there is nothing stopping the players from exploring past the city if they so choose. The final word of the password is "crack?". Different parts of the main plot and various subplots can and will encourage the party to explore Waterdeep environs and sometimes even further.

📃The requirements📃

No exceptions here. Unless otherwise stated, the requirements must be met at the time of application.

• to apply you need to be 20+ yo
• you need a functioning webcam (at the time of application) and a stable internet connection - we will be using both video and voice on discord and as a general rule Wifi doesn’t handle long video calls well (believe me when I say I speak from experience) so cable or other similar form of stable connection is strongly encouraged
• you need a Discord account and you will need a Forge account - Forge is a hosting service for Foundry, don’t worry, you won’t need to input any personal info (besides maybe an email) to register and I will be footing the bill
• you need a PC that can and will run Foundry Virtual Tabletop - check the minimum requirements on the Foundry website, a fair warning, Foundry won’t run on tablets and phones (not that you should consider those in the first place)
• you need at least an elementary knowledge of Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition - when it comes to the awareness of the rules, I won’t be too harsh, but definitely don’t apply if the first time you’ve seen the PHB was a week ago
• you need TTRPG/roleplay experience and/or a very strong roleplay inclination - this is a heavy roleplay game where most if not all ingame talk will be done in character and where you will be expected to voice your character in a way that is distinct from your standard voice
• you will need to be very punctual when it comes to session attendance - I expect my players to attend most if not all sessions, online or not, this campaign is a designed as a longterm commitment and by applying you are acknowledging this, having other hobbies and time-consuming real-life obligations is understandable (I got those too) but those 4-5 hours you will be expected to set aside for the session

🙋‍♂️How to sign up🙋‍♀️

Youve made it all the way to the end of this long post. Congratulations. Or maybe you’ve skipped all the way to the end. In that case I strongly recommended you go back. If not to learn what you are applying for than to make sure you haven’t missed something very important. Now if you are confident that you have what it takes and that this is a game that you could have a lot of fun with, please fill the below attached google questionnaire (if for any strange reason the link doesn’t end up working, please let me know in the comments under this post) and if fortune favors you, I shall get back to you promptly. Best of luck to you and I hope to speak to you soon!
https://forms.gle/5kc4RbwavJPfT8PD9
______________________________________
PS: As a part of the questionnaire, you will be asked to submit a short piece of your narrative writing in a form of a google doc link (not a custom piece of writing, any relevant past one you have will do). Maybe best have that ready beforehand? On that note, dont apply for the game with a detailed backstory of a character you want to play that you arent willing to adapt to the conditions of the setting/campaign.
PSS: Not to discourage you but if you do make it through the questionnaire and into the second group of applicants you will be asked to do a discord interview with your webcam turned on. I am asking you to go through a lot for a game you might not even end up liking I know, but if you do end up liking it, all this effort will be well worth it as I am sure my other players would agree.

I still live with my narcissistic parents and I’ve been trying to move out but I keep having to push my plans back because of money, I don’t have my driver’s license, etc. Even if I when I save 75% of paycheck each week. It’s still not enough to live on, to move on, to get a car. I did submit an application for section 8, they just have a huge waiting list. It could take years. I needed like last year. I still want to go to Cosmetology school but FAFSA changed how they did things, so I don’t qualify to an independent student 🤦‍♀️. I did try to get my dad to help with FAFSA and it feels like a lost cause at this point. I still have fully learned how to drive, because my parents pull every excuse in the book on why we can’t today. So, I end up driving like 2x a month and forget half of what I learned. It seems like when I really want something they’re not interested but when I don’t want it they’re ecstatic. My temps expire in 2 months, I was hoping I would have my driver’s license by now. I did sign up for driving lessons and the first one was for more intermediate drivers and am not one. The second one went well. Besides they expect you to know the bare minimum basics of driving. That’s all I can think of right now. Thanks for reading this far. Have a nice night.

For those who are planning to take the May and Oct CPALE this year what are your usual review schedules? How many hours do you study, how may times you solve lessons from previous weeks etc.

For those who are planning to take the May and Oct CPALE this year what are your usual review schedules? How many hours do you study, how may times you solve lessons from previous weeks etc.

I say "apparently" because... well... you'll see.
This happened decades ago now, back in primary school. I only remembered it because I was recently catching up with old friends from back then, and we got to laughing over old stories and then someone mentioned, "The wildest was when you organised that whole protest against our teacher."
"The time I did what?"
The consensus was I did, indeed, organise the entire class to rebel against our teacher that resulted in her being deposed and our class getting a "substitute" for the rest of the year. I almost fell out of my chair hearing this story from their mouths. It wasn't that I didn't remember it, of course I did--that year was awful. It was just that it existed very differently in my memory.
Two important pieces of background knowledge to understand here:

1. I went to a very very small, very very rural school. How small? Each classroom was composed of the entire year level, and the largest had at most 30 kids in them. My class/year level was on the smallest in the entire school, with a piddling 14 kids in it altogether. While we still had our cliques and factions, our small size caused our class to be very tight knit and protective of each other. How rural? The school building itself was incredibly small, but one thing we were not short on was gigantic empty fields surrounding us on all sides. Great for sports, great for (it turns out) student protests.
2. I was, at the time, undiagnosed autistic. I mean I still am autistic, I'm just formally diagnosed now. But back then I was just seen as being a very quirky kid. One of the ways this quirkiness manifested was that I really had trouble adapting to the rules and structure of grade school and how it differed from what I was used to. At home if I wanted to pee, I just went to the toilet. Now I have to put my hand up? Now I have to ask permission to piss? Then I went home and put my hand up to ask my mom for permission to pee and she told me I didn't need to! Madness! Chaos! I don't care what the rules are, please just be consistent!

But one of the main parts of my brain and the way it works is that sometimes my brain, separate from my will, would just make a decision about a course of action and I would very calmly commit to it come hell or high water. Like, it is vitally important that I stay true to this course of action. I can't explain it. It's like I set a rule for myself and if something disrupts that, I just shut down and stop functioning.
So when the school said, "Okay, when this bell rings during recess/lunch, that means you have to leave the playground and go back to class", I was a confused child already struggling with all these completely nonsensical limitations and guidelines imposed on me. So when that bell rang, I got that calm little voice in my head that said, "Hmm, no, I'm good out here actually. I don't think I will go back into class." So I would just continue to sit out on the playground, playing with my plastic spider toys or sitting on the swing. Teachers would realise what was going on and come out to get me and tell me I have to go back to class, and I would just very calmly hear them out and then smile at them and politely as possible tell them, "No thank you, I want to stay out here."
They really didn't know what to do with me. I wasn't getting upset, I wasn't throwing a tantrum, I wasn't yelling, I wasn't being rude in any way. I was incredibly docile and would let them explain things to me with endless patience and then just politely refute them and go back to what I was doing, like this was just a very normal and reasonable negotiation between two equal parties. I have memories of sitting on the swing while three very confused and flustered adult staff huddled around me trying to bribe me with candy to go back to class. It would take a whole lesson block to lure me back to the classroom, and then at lunch the whole thing would start over again. It took me three years at school to finally accept the status quo thanks to a religious nutter I got for a teacher, and finally went back to class when the bell rang (was never happy about it though).
I eventually settled into school life. Excelled at subjects I liked, at least passed subjects I didn't, followed the rules, was seen as intelligent and obedient and was often liked by my teachers. Until my final year, when we got the teacher I can only rudely monniker Mrs Bigmouth.
Mrs Bigmouth should not have been a teacher. She had a trigger temper and would explode into long, verbally abusive tirades against us if we ever did anything she felt was disrespectful behaviour. What was disrespectful behaviour? Damned if I know. It changed day by day, depending on mood. You could disrespect her to her face one day and she'd laugh and say you have such razor wit, and politely ask a question the next and she'd scream at you for ten nonstop minutes then give you a week of DT for talking back. The absolute peak moment of her boiling temper came when she threw a dictionary at a girl's head because she was whispering to me in class. When I tell you it missed her by half an inch...
But believe it or not, this wasn't what made her such an awful teacher. It was so hard to get teachers at rural schools back then, there was almost nothing you could do to get fired, so we had experience with teachers with nightmare tempers. What made her such an issue was her big mouth. She used us, her trapped audience, as free therapy. She would infodump, traumadump, about her very personal, very private life to us. All day. She'd be two words into a spelling list and launch into an extended story session about her marital issues with her husband. We'd be heads down doing fractions and, unprompted, she'd declare to the class that her adult daughter no longer talks to her and then diatribe to us about it until the bell rang. She had money issues, a contentious relationship with her parents, her marriage was on the rocks. She once pulled me aside after school and spoke with me, at length, about how she was thinking of having another child to try to repair her marriage. I was like, okay lady, I'm 11, about to miss my bus, and my house is a 4 hour walk on foot from here.
We weren't learning. We'd hadn't had a complete lesson since the first week of the school year. We were behind on the cirriculum and frustrated. One kid had brought a stopwatch into school and would time lessons vs her monologues and kept detailed lists, and we would come to school each morning and do betting pools on them. What subject would she interrupt, what would she talk about, and how long would it go.
But all that still wasn't the breaking point if you can believe it. No! Still not! The problem was it wasn't just her own private life she couldn't keep her mouth shut about. It was everyone else's. Because parents would make the reasonable assumption that she should be told things as our class teacher that would be important to know, and that she would understand these things were said in confidence. Instead she would veer randomly off in the middle of talking to us about her horrible weekend to let us know whatever private or traumatic thing was going on in a classmate's life that she had been made aware of. That was awful. That was what made that year hell. It wasn't even about when my secrets were shared with the entire class against my consent. It was watching the faces of my small, lovely, supportive class of 11 year old children go pale and scrunch up with held-back tears as things they never wanted to share were announced like morning news. God we hated her.
Then one day that voice came. The one I hadn't heard in years. The bell ring to go back into class and that voice said, "But I don't want to be in that classroom. I'm not even being taught there." So I just... didn't. I didn't go back to class. I just sat in the playground in a daze eating grass (don't eat grass, it's not good for your teeth). Despite how small my class was, I don't think Mrs Bigmouth even noticed I wasn't there. Others did though. Come lunch and everyone came out, my friends asked me where I was and I said, "Oh, I didn't go back to class."
"Why didn't you go back to class?"
"Why would I go back to class?"
Lightbulb moment for my schoolmates. Yeah, why would they go back to class? What was the point? From a practical standpoint, they weren't learning. From an emotional standpoint, it was horrible to be there. A friend who had had her family's dirty laundry aired to the entire class just last week, things even she didn't know because her parents tried to keep it from her, asked if she could sit with me rather than go back to class. I just stared at her, vacant and confused.
"Sure? I mean, I'm just eating grass though."
Over the next few days, two kids turned into four, turned into ten, turned into the whole class. The whole class was doing a sit-out protest on the field rather than go back to class. Of course Mrs Bigmouth tried to do something about it. She'd come out, screaming at us and threatening us with DT and internal suspension, but six months of that behaviour had totally vaccinated us against her. I'd become the de facto leader and spokesperson of the protest by merit of being the first to sit out and also because I was well known to not give a shit (autistic brain: I actually just frequently had trouble reading and reacting with the correct social behaviour but it gave me a cool and aloof bad boy mystique I guess). I gave her the exact same treatment from back in grade one. I would let her scream, let her holler, let her threaten, let her spittle rain down on me, and then I would give her a sweet and innocent smile and nod in acknowledgement and say, "No thank you, we're going to remain out here." And thirteen pairs of eyes would stare at her in total silence. No one, not even the most gobbermouthed little shite in the class, would volunteer a word. The unspoken agreement was all negotiations were my responsibility.
The thing about angry people is that they feed off conflict. They get you angry so they can respond with even more anger and it nourishes them. She had no absolutely no plan of action on how to deal with me patiently hearing her out then refuting her in the gentlest of terms.
Another thing that ended up helping down the line is that we made an attempt to conduct our own classes. I mean, they sucked and we didn't learn much because we were kids with no supervision, but it was really cute in retrospect. We'd have groups of people assigned to subjects, with some people bringing in words they found in a dictionary for spelling lists and others bringing in old 6th grade homework from older siblings. The heart was there and it served a purpose, if not educational.
"Okay, but how did no one else notice this was happening? Surely people would notice 14 kids sitting on the lawn, not in class?"
Rural school. Big. Empty. Fields. Even screaming at us, the most other classrooms would hear would be muffled voices, and everyone was used to hearing her yelling at us or taking us out onto the field abruptly to make us do laps as group punishment. Plus the way the school buildings were arranged was that it was actually all in one straight line of adjacent rooms, and ours happened to be at the very end of the building. No windows faced the field we all sat in except that of our own classroom. It was just a very lucky arrangement of coincidences and preconceived notions, at least for a couple weeks. I couldn't tell you the exact number, this was so long ago and as a kid I definitely had a more stretched idea of time. Minutes felt like hours, especially during that year. But there was definitely at least two weekends that passed by since the "sit-out protest" started.
Eventually someone cottoned on to what was happening, or maybe Mrs Bigmouth humbled herself and finally confessed to her boss that she had lost control of a bunch of 11-year-olds, so we were called into the principal's office to sort this out. As the representative of our class, I was of course chosen to attend the meeting, flanked by the girl who'd had the dictionary thrown at her head and my friend who was the first to sit out with me. Since I understood that this meeting was one where we were probably going to be yelled at for doing the wrong thing, a thing I had ample experience of, I felt like the easiest way to mitigate things (especially since I felt guilty for being the instigator) was to explain in a very rational and logical way the series of events that led up to our bad behaviour. As well, for my entire life my mother had always taught me that it was no good complaining about things unless you were also willing to think of solutions. "I'm hungry!" - "Well, what's a solution to that problem?" - "Uh, make myself a sandwich?" - "Great! Let's do that together!"
So what did I do? Of course, to make things as clean and concise as possible, I interviewed my class one by one to hear each individual story of why they didn't feel comfortable going to class anymore, itemised them under categories (Verbal Aggression; Interruptions of Lessons; Oversharing Student Life) for easier discussion because my little quirky brain loved itemising things, and then as a kind of olive branch came up with solutions (we wanted to finish lessons unhindered, we wanted our personal privacy to be respected, we wanted to be able to catch our bus on time rather than being held back with unfair DT or long "chats"). So many things sort of came together in this beautiful, wholly accidental way. We had months of records of timed rants and monologues, noted down to the millisecond thanks to that kid's stopwatch. We had records of us trying to teach ourselves during the protests, showing this wasn't us just not wanting to go to class but due to us feeling as though we did not have a class to go to. When the principal heard all this, her jaw it the floor. A lot of it was stuff she knew, peripherally, but things had just never been laid out so neatly before. Some of it was stuff we'd complained to parents about, but it was one kid coming home and telling one parent one time, weeks ago. There was no real sense, up until now, the sheer scope of her behaviour. She didn't even answer us. She just said, "Okay, I need to call your parents."
We got the rest of the week off school. That weekend, every parent of every student came to a meeting between them, Mrs Bigmouth, and the principal. Stories were swapped. My exercise book with my tidy little lists and the records of the betting pool and monologue times were confiscated and brought into the meeting. I don't know what went down, but when my mother came home she just told me that Mrs Bigmouth would not be our problem for the rest of the school year, and more importantly, that she was incredibly proud of me and that I did the right thing. Rarely in my childhood had my inability to integrate into normal society led me to doing the right thing, so I just remember crying and hugging and feeling vindicated about, I don't know, just existing or something.
So yeah. From the outside perspective here is what it looked like: I, the ringleader with a history of dismissing school rules, organised a sit-out strike amongst my class. I kept the protest peaceful and non-disruptive to other classes. When negotiations with the principal were finally arranged, as the representative I compiled a clear list of greivances, with evidence, and a list of reasonable demands. I mean, holy crap, yes, yes I clearly organised a student protest.
The actual results of it are mixed. We got a revolving door of substitute teachers of varying quality for the rest of the school year, occasionally being bundled into other classrooms entirely when they couldn't find someone. It wasn't a great learning environment and we continued to struggle a lot, but it was better than before. Mrs Bigmouth was not actually fired but put on leave for the rest of the school year, then returned and was put in charge of a different year level (which happened to be the class of the younger sister of a guy in my class: according to him, she was quiet as a church mouse that entire year so I hope at least she learned her lesson, or at least finally got divorced and went to actual therapy). The entire ordeal caused our already small and close class to become really really supportive and like family to each other and we all remain in touch until this day. And we became fierce about standing up for ourselves.
I kind of learned to parse the difference between when it was appropriate to go along with set societal rules even if I don't understand them, and when those rules were just straight up unreasonable and nobody should be required to follow them. I did, years alter, lead an actual (very small) strike at work but intentionally that time. My mother was proud of me then too. :)

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

My wife and I have been married for 26 years and have been pretty happy. However, recently we have been fighting a lot. My wife dedicates herself to her work and it frequently interferes with our plans. For instance, we work at the same place and have lunch together. However, every day it is the same story, she puts me off for several hours, cuts our lunch short, or just doesn't show up at all. She is a counselor at a school and her reasoning is that if a student needs to see her then she puts that above all else. Everybody else in the school gets to take a 30 minute lunch, she almost never gets hers. As a result, I have stopped having lunch with her and go by myself. She does manage to go to Dr's appointments or Dentists during her lunch time and the students manage to survive without her. It is only when we get together that she needs to be there for her students. She says that it is her job and that is what is most important to her. In the past, I have been left sitting in parking lots for 45 minutes or longer waiting for her to leave work. Her excuse, students needed to talk. We worked in a different town from where we lived so we car pooled.
We have a very routine life and usually have sex only on the weekends. This is partly because of my fatigue but also because she stays up later than I because she has a Facebook addiction. She is usually excited, calling it "sex fest" weekend. Often our adult daughter calls last minute and asks her to babysit so she blows me off to go watch the grandchildren. Sex fest weekend turns in to a bust and usually leads to a fight.
My wife has a lot of anxiety and gets flustered when things go wrong. When the pressure is on, she will take her frustration out on me. Often telling me to "shut the F*!K up" or blaming me for what went wrong in her day. It almost always causes a fight. I have been reading religious books on how to be a good husband and I have tried applying some of the lessons but am having an extremely hard time. I have tried to exercise patience, not yell or respond to her abuse and be supportive but she usually pushes me to the brink and I lose my temper. Unfortunately, I tend to pout and give her the silent treatment. Early in our marriage we had a really bad fight and I ended up tipping her off of a couch and she hit her head on a table. I was horrified and vowed that I would never let things get physical again. To this day, I have never laid a hand on her, choosing to walk away and not talk to her until I am calm. Unfortunately, it takes me several days to calm down. She resents this and calls me "cruel and mean".
Our last fight, was over a complete misunderstanding, but once again ended with her yelling and telling me to "shut the F*!K up". I don't understand why she completely disrespects me and has such contempt for me. She feels that this behavior is totally acceptable. We discussed her total lack of respect for my time during lunch and she doubled down on "It is my job and it comes first." I tried to tell her what it was about her that upsets me but she denied everything and told me she doesn't feel like talking about it anymore. That is where we are today. Barely talking, she stays late at work, goes to our daughter's house for hours or just doesn't come home until late. She often gets in the car and takes off without telling me or my younger daughter where she is going. NO, I do not think she is cheating on me. She may be mean but she is not a cheater.
I am so close to calling it quits but for some reason still love her. It doesn't seem like she wants to spend time with me but wants to be married to me. When we do spend time together, she is always on her phone browsing Facebook or on her iPad playing card games. She seems to find any distraction to not communicate with me. She has asked me to go to counseling with her but I am skeptical. We tried that once and the guy was a complete disaster. The counselor was 3 times divorced and was a complete idiot. He actually caused more harm to our marriage than good. I am open to trying again but want to try this thread to see if anybody else has gone through something similar and has any advice.
I realize this sounds whiny and I am sure I will get some haters but I would really appreciate some advice.
Edit:
The guy that lol'd me and said that I can not expect 100% of her attention. You're right. Don't know why your post disappeared but thanks for the hard advice.

Use these to draft one page short stories that can be used to give life to emotional reactions.

1. How do you feel when you find out your favorite book has a sequel?
   1. Describe the emotion when you receive a surprise gift from a friend.
   2. What emotions arise when you lose a game you were really looking forward to winning?
   3. Share the feelings you experience on the first day of a new school year.
   4. How do you react when you have to speak in front of the class unexpectedly?
   5. Describe the mix of emotions when you meet a new friend for the first time.
   6. What's your emotional response when you get a good grade on a test you studied hard for?
   7. Express your feelings when you have to apologize to someone.
   8. How does it feel when you successfully solve a challenging puzzle or riddle?
   9. Describe the emotions when you witness an act of kindness in your school.
   10. Share your reaction when your parents surprise you with a fun outing.
   11. How do you feel when you receive a compliment from a teacher?
   12. Express the emotions when you face a fear and overcome it.
   13. Describe the mix of emotions when your best friend moves away.
   14. How does it feel when you achieve a personal goal you've been working on?
   15. Share your emotional response when you receive constructive criticism.
   16. What are your feelings when you have to say goodbye to someone you care about?
   17. Describe the emotions when you create something artistic that you're proud of.
   18. How do you react when you encounter a challenge you've never faced before?
   19. Express the feelings when you win a competition against your classmates.
   20. What emotions arise when you have to admit you made a mistake?
   21. Share your reaction when you successfully make someone else laugh.
   22. How do you feel when you see someone being unfairly treated?
   23. Describe the mix of emotions when you receive recognition for your hard work.
   24. Express your feelings when you have to confront a difficult situation.
   25. How does it feel when you help someone who is struggling?
   26. Share your emotional response when you receive a genuine apology.
   27. What are your feelings when you witness an act of generosity in your community?
   28. Describe the emotions when you receive unexpected praise from a peer.
   29. How do you react when you experience a moment of pure joy?
   30. Express the feelings when you have to deal with a disappointment.
   31. Share your reaction when you successfully navigate a new environment.
   32. What emotions arise when you make a new friend during a group activity?
   33. Describe the mix of emotions when you have to share something important with others.
   34. How do you feel when you achieve a milestone in a personal project?
   35. Express your feelings when you have to confront a situation that makes you nervous.
   36. How does it feel when you receive support from unexpected sources?
   37. Share your emotional response when you witness an act of bravery.
   38. What are your feelings when you receive constructive feedback on your creative work?
   39. Describe the emotions when you discover a new hobby that you love.
   40. How do you react when you have to face a rule or consequence you disagree with?
   41. Express the feelings when you overcome a physical challenge or obstacle.
   42. Share your reaction when you meet someone who shares your interests.
   43. What emotions arise when you have to work in a group and contribute your ideas?
   44. How do you feel when you witness an act of perseverance in someone else?
   45. Describe the mix of emotions when you learn a valuable lesson from a mistake.
   46. Express your feelings when you receive encouragement from a mentor.
   47. How does it feel when you are asked to take on a leadership role?
   48. Share your emotional response when you make amends with someone after a disagreement.
   49. What are your feelings when you have to adapt to a sudden change in plans?
   50. Describe the emotions when you receive unexpected assistance from a classmate.
   51. How do you react when you have to share your personal achievements with others?
   52. Express the feelings when you successfully navigate a social situation.
   53. Share your reaction when you find out your favorite activity is canceled.
   54. What emotions arise when you have to admit you need help with something?
   55. Describe the mix of emotions when you receive positive feedback from a teacher.
   56. How do you feel when you are chosen for a special role or task?
   57. Express your feelings when you witness an act of fairness in a game or competition.
   58. How does it feel when you learn something new that challenges your perspective?
   59. Share your emotional response when you have to comfort a friend in need.
   60. What are your feelings when you participate in a community service project?
   61. Describe the emotions when you receive recognition for your kindness towards others.
   62. How do you react when you have to navigate a situation where you feel misunderstood?
   63. Express the feelings when you successfully resolve a conflict with a friend.
   64. Share your reaction when you discover a hidden talent or skill.
   65. What emotions arise when you have to stand up for what you believe in?
   66. How do you feel when you experience a moment of gratitude towards someone else?
   67. Describe the mix of emotions when you have to say goodbye to a beloved pet.
   68. Express your feelings when you overcome a fear and try something new.
   69. How does it feel when you receive support during a challenging time?
   70. Share your emotional response when you witness an act of sportsmanship.
   71. What are your feelings when you participate in a team-building activity?
   72. Describe the emotions when you have to navigate a situation where you feel left out.
   73. How do you react when you receive constructive criticism from a peer?
   74. Express the feelings when you successfully complete a long-term project.
   75. Share your reaction when you witness an act of environmental stewardship.
   76. What emotions arise when you have to cope with the loss of a valuable possession?
   77. How do you feel when you are entrusted with a responsibility by a teacher?
   78. Describe the mix of emotions when you participate in a cultural exchange activity.
   79. Express your feelings when you help organize a surprise for someone else.
   80. How does it feel when you receive unexpected encouragement from a family member?
   81. Share your emotional response when you witness an act of compassion in your community.
   82. What are your feelings when you have to navigate a situation where you feel underestimated?
   83. Describe the emotions when you receive a heartfelt letter or note from a friend.
   84. How do you react when you have to confront a situation where you feel pressured?
   85. Express the feelings when you successfully teach someone a new skill.
   86. Share your reaction when you witness an act of creativity in your school.
   87. What emotions arise when you have to cope with the end of a school year?
   88. How do you feel when you participate in a group project and everyone contributes?
   89. Describe the mix of emotions when you receive an unexpected apology.
   90. Express your feelings when you successfully negotiate a compromise with a friend.
   91. How does it feel when you discover a new way to express yourself creatively?
   92. Share your emotional response when you witness an act of selflessness.
   93. What are your feelings when you have to navigate a situation where you feel proud of yourself?
   94. Describe the emotions when you receive positive feedback for your efforts.
   95. How do you react when you have to face a situation where you feel out of place?

I’m still planning on making the best of the next 10 days here, but I feel sad that THIS is how I’m getting to experience Turkey. Logically I know Turkey or Italy (last summer’s drama) or XYZ are not disappearing! It’s not like you can only visit once and then border control says, “Sorry! You used up your 1 permitted lifetime visit to Istanbul on a trip with your narc parents!”
I know I can and will visit all these places again (& multiple times!) that narc family trips had ruined, as soon as I have the $ means and genuine people in my life who I want to travel with. So my future husband, genuine great friends etc. Just sharing and making memories with people I love and who love me back truly.
AND YES I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON. I AM DETERMINED TO MOVE OUT PERMANENTLY ASAP AND I WILL NEVER SAY YES TO A TRIP WITH THEM AGAIN.
But I guess I would love some reassurance right now. Hard to not feel like I “tainted” my experience of these places by visiting with narcs.
Background: Just landed in Turkey on a trip with toxic parents (this is obviously not my ideal travel partners but I didn’t want to turn down a “free” trip to here because due to being unemployed & back living in a small town, I haven’t had recent opportunities to be out and about. I am determined to change this situation very soon though!)
Well I just spent the first half day in the hotel room crying and sleep-deprived after an awful fight being ganged up on by my narc dad and enabler mother. When I told my mom I felt really hurt and would spend the day exploring alone tomorrow (we are doing some tours after), she very falsely accused me of “wanting to be alone so I can meet Muslim guys like the Turkish shows I watch”. This is obviously a lie and doesn’t even make sense but she said it to make me feel shame and guilty for suggesting it.
Especially because I was so happy to have learned some Turkish over the pandemic by accident after their shows were trending on American social media. I’m being shamed for a harmless hobby because my mom wanted to “one up me” and win a fight!
Anyways, after this bad 1/2 day and an awful string of family trips (dreamt of Italy for ages- we finally went & it was extremely mentally draining), I’ve decided it’s time to not only move out, but also never give in to pressure to go on another “vacation” with them.

Just graduated an MLIS internship and have been applying to any library job I see (from public clerk to academic librarian) and cannot even get an interview. Is it my lack of experience or resume? I don’t know if I should add older jobs I’ve had, but they have nothing to do with library science (I was a warehouse worker and barista) during my undergrad. Thanks!

*Moved this over from Barcelona forum.
Hello All,
We just got back to the US from our great trip to (mostly) Barcelona. We did spend a couple of great days in the Costa Brava in the town of Begur. That was a wonderful time too. We had a great time and were sad that our time in Spain came to a close so quickly.
When we landed at the airport we got a 3 day Hola Barcelona pass that was excellent and worth it. We took the bus, tube, and tram around the town and it’s some of the best public transport I’ve had the privilege of using.
We stayed in the Poble Sec area, and this was a lovely area, but all of Barcelona was great, as well. We ventured through El Ravel during the day even though our host told us that this might be an area to avoid. Note: Most people on here said just use common sense and be mindful, and following that advice we had a positive experience.
The people of Barcelona that we encountered in our trip were kind, friendly and patient. We spoke Spanish and English, and most people seemed to also speak English along with their native Catalonian and Spanish.
Like most other posts say, there is much to do and take in this city. They say New York is the city that never sleeps, but I was thinking that Barcelona is the city that is alive night and day.
Now, to address the one thing that many people have posted about on Reddit - the problem of pickpockets and theft. The majority of our trip was wonderful, and we did not really encounter this, and we were mindful of our belongings and employed common sense awareness.
That said, there were two things related to potential theft that stood out on our trip.
1. We rented a car to travel from Barcelona to Begur, but we planned to detour first to go see Montserrat. On our way to Montserrat a car pulled up behind us and was honking and flashing us and then drove up beside us indicating that we should stop bc something was “wrong” with the car. A younger man then proceeded to show me how the wrong thing in the back needed to be fixed and he was trying to “help”. This felt wrong bc he was too aggressive and forceful in this situation; he was brazen enough to just open our trunk without consent.
Later we read about a flat tire scam that people use to rob people sometimes. We avoided what we think might have happened by being firm and saying that we should call the police and road side assistance because we were in a dangerous situation (by being on the side of the road) he was adamant that he could fix it/ we shouldn’t call for assistance & should follow him. Once we said we were going to call for assitance he got upset and drove away. We realized right away that we had avoided a negative situation.
Lesson Learned: The rental car we got had a rental car company bumper sticker which I think makes for an easy target. We removed it and were fine after that. Here, pay attention to your gut if something doesn’t feel right then believe it.
2. On our last day, on our way back into Barcelona after returning the rental car, we took the train. As soon as we boarded, the train agent on the train yelled out loud and pointed to the people sitting behind us and identified them as known pickpockets. He warned everyone, which was helpful, and made us candidly aware of how close pickpockets can be on public transport. At the next stop two other pickpockets boarded the train. That was kind of a surreal experience.
Lesson Learned: there are pickpockets, but everyone is on the lookout, so just be mindful and aware of your surroundings.
I share these two lessons because Reddit was so helpful to us. We loved our time in Barcelona (& the Costa Brava), and we felt so welcomed by the people in Spain. Thank you for welcoming us as guests to your home.