Passion hotel endings

MarriottBonvoyIndia

2024.01.16 16:45 CalligrapherStock961 MarriottBonvoyIndia

Welcome to the Marriott Bonvoy India Community – your ultimate hub for everything related to Marriott Bonvoy in the vibrant and diverse landscape of India. Whether you're a seasoned Indian traveler, a points enthusiast, or someone eager to explore the world of Marriott Bonvoy, this community is your go-to destination for insightful discussions, valuable tips, redemptions, promotions, and a shared passion for hotel stays.
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2015.09.10 01:18 spdk187 Kansas City Convention Scene

Kansas City has become a hotbed for various comic, horror, and other genre conventions. Let's post news, reviews and pics from various cons in the area.
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2024.05.19 22:44 Security-Blanket922 Choose my next vacation!

I was planning a weeklong trip for the end of July to visit my girlfriend, but we broke up recently. I was planning to spend about $1500-$1600 with hotel, flights, food, and fun. Where should I go instead?
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2024.05.19 22:36 No_Math6278 The cast's relationship with the survivors and the victims' families (based on what they have said in interviews and social media).

Played survivors:

Played Victims
Did not board the plane:
- Fran Burghi (Alfredo Cibilis): He couldn’t meet Alfredo due to schedule conflicts (3).
Sources:
1) Behind the scenes documentary/Netflix interviews
2) Actors and personal Instagram accounts
3) Interview by Moobys (YouTube)
4) Interview by Fangirleando y Chismeando (YouTube)
5) Juanicar’s livestreams
6) Society of the Snow book (newest edition)
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2024.05.19 22:33 Ancient-Support8050 Toronto to Montreal vs Toronto to New York City… Which is better? (Other suggestions welcome)

Im planning my first tour ever, I’m doing it solo and using a single speed. Im 20 years old, and broke as shit so this will be a budget tour. Im also interested in potentially flying somewhere on the west coast for a tour instead, California/Oregon coast, Napa valley trail…
I will be doing it bum style, or whatever way is most affordable ie. a tent with the odd motel, hotel or hostel.
I wont have a lot of time, maybe a week or so sometime in the next couple weeks or the end of summer, August/September.
I just came out of a major depressive episode and looking for my calling in life. I want to see things I haven’t seen before and explore the serene beauty of the world. For now, that will have to be somewhere relatively affordable.
As for gear I only have my cheap single speed/fixed gear aluminum road bike, the skill of some camping trips and the will to make it all happen. I will try and make some content from this in order to journal/capture my life but, hopefully, just maybe I can help fund at least a little bit of the trip through content/donations.
I really would like some advice. I might even stay at the destination and try to find work… who knows. Im young, not in school and have very little obligations. I don’t care about living this perfect, financially fulfilling life. I just want to get out there and figure it all out later.
Id rather be homeless in paradise than rich in hell.
A month ago I was content with ending my life, I realized that nothing mattered. Life was meaningless, and that if death is certain might as well make the most out of this nonsensical illusion we call life. That my friends, is where this idea has come from.
I will make art, content and blogs. I will live how I want, until I no longer see the benefit in life.
Where should my adventure start?
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2024.05.19 22:33 Renskol Re-discovering Self Improvement & Confidence

I am 30M and since I was 17, I discovered and fallen in love with self-improvement. Routine, habits, reading, volunteering, working out, and purpose helped me drive my years of discipline in multiple areas of my life. Was I happy doing those things and keeping busy? Yes, I was until I turned 23/24, and realised there is more to life such as travelling, socialising outside a rigorous diet without competing, and naturally falling in love in which I did not expand my mind too.
My 20s were better than usual, with medical issues taking some time away, but I always remained positive. And I still remain positive to this day. I went through a “rough patch” at the end of 2023, such as ending my long-term relationship of 6 years whilst living together, unforeseen career changes id in which I lost my job (to this day, employment is staggered), major shift in family dynamics, I had stopped reguarly working out and dieting, I put my personal ambitions on pause and I had dramatic increased financial responsibilities. It was uncanny timing this all occurred in a matter of weeks. I am grateful though for some changes as I did not feel like myself, I had completely mentally burnt out.
I can say comfortably that these above habits and aspects of my life was taking a beating every day. This was not a fast process, it was slow. I am in control and responsible of my emotions, feelings, thoughts, and actions. I would change a few decisions if I could, but it is what is. Those few decisions are more related to my career, I view it as a lesson for the future. I have gone through therapy, and I am emotionally self-aware.
I am optimistic for what is next in my life despite one major hurdle, I know what I need to do as I have done this before, I lack simple discipline. I hate the word "motivation" but there is no fire or energy to perform a basic routine. Some habits include:
“Losing myself” to me means that I lost control of my routine, habits, sources of happiness, and my natural personality. My discipline and resilience were challenged in 2023, in hindsight I should had walked away, by resigning earlier from my job. Instead I followed the carrot on the stick and went down a rabbit hole.
I chased false promises in the belief I would be promoted, and I was reminded that my job is safe, as all staff turned to FTC during the pandemic. Why did I want the promotion? Because I was working, trained and positioned to take the job for 3 years. It was all manipulation as noticed by former colleagues. I was working too overtime that was unpaid, and it impacted the other areas of my life.
This is not who I am or who I was one year ago. Whether I feel this way from over a decade of constant discipline, social challenges as being an extrovert, or I am still burnt out. I can address and journal a large list of problems that I faced in recent times, but that assist.
I am struggling to get my foot off the ground to follow a basic routine, and I do not know where to start.
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2024.05.19 22:28 Potential-Bunch-8109 5 days of Her (pt2)

Part 1: https://www.reddit.com/OffMyChestPH/s/rZznjBrMXb
This is the second night with her.
Since maraming nag request ng update here we go. This one is a long read(you guys asked for this)
So a lil sumthing about me. I'm not really a nice guy. I wouldn't call myself a bad dude either but I'm the type of dude na I won't let my sisters to date. I'm not the ideal.
So yep, sinundo ko s'ya hotel n'ya. That was 5pm. She's so awkward talaga as ever. I tried opening the door for her pero naunahan n'ya ako. She didn't know kung saan kame pupunta but plinano ko na pupunta kame sa cat cafe since I know how much she loves cats dahil majority ng captured pictures n'ya sa phone ay mga pusa n'ya na observe ko nung first date namin.
Oh and before the date lininis ko talaga yung kotse ko carwash/vacuum. Even bought a new cabin air filter.
Anyways during the trip I was just asking her abt her day and the previous day. Wala parin s'yang idea sa pupuntahan namin. Pero nung nag papark na kame nakita n'ya yung cat cafe and nanliwanag yung mata n'ya. Iba rin yung ligaya na naramdaman ko pag nakikita ko ren yung saya n'ya. She got excited and we stayed there for an hour hahah. Bought her a t-shirt and crocs charms na souvenir ng cafe. I also like the fact na she's willing to pay her part everytime we spend something. But I've never let her spent anything while she's with me. So tapos na kame don. And after non di n'ya parin alam kung san na kame pupunta little did she know we're going to another cat cafe na mas maganda. Buttt di kame umabot kase closing na nung dumating kame don hahah nasa mall yon and medyo crowded. So I initiated to hold hands dahil I wanna keep track of her dahil nawawala s'ya sa peripheral vision at medyo mabagal s'yang maglakad talaga or mabilis ako hahah. Pati pag holding hands ang awkward n'ya na di marunong. So we walked around the city again while planning kung san pupunta. And while crossing one of the roads tinangal n'ya yung Crocs dahil madudulas daw s'ya. Maulan kase so basa yung kalsada. So naka paa s'ya hahah weirdo. Kaya biglang binuhat ko na lang s'ya patawid hahah and I bought her a new set of tsinelas since pudpud na pala yung Crocs n'ya kaya pala sinabe n'yang madulas. So di n'ya rin pala magagalit yung charms na binili ko hahah 😅 and after that we went to the beach na malapit lang. We talked again while sitting on the sand honestly we struggle to communicate like normal and go deep. She's very bad at talking in person. And also the fact that she's nervous. But we ended up sharing our life back in highschool.
Oh I also took photos of her through out the date dahil I know she's also bad at taking pictures but she likes taking pictures of her and stuffs. And I know how it sucks to be by yourself all the time and only have one form of picture taking(selfie). I'll share it here(yes I'm just flexing how ethereal she is)
Well, after the beach we ended going to the arcade para mag escape room kame pagkatapos. We had fun even though she's really awkward and quiet. Sinabayan ko ren kaweirdohan n'ya by sniffing her armpit after every game namin kahit anong laroin namin 😆
Tapos somehow nakahanap ako ng rose flower na naiwan ng ibang costumer and I was smooth with it dahil inaamoy ko yung kili kili n'ya then I suddenly gave her the rose. Gosh, her reaction... She was really blushing. Apparently it's her first time receiving flowers from someone in person. Tagal den namen sa arcade kaya di na naabutang bukas yung susunod na pupuntahan namen.
Kaya deadset na kameng makahanap ng alak pero it was very late na at that point it basically just became a night ride with a lil purpose. We were just looking for places na bukas pa to look for alcohol. There's a cute interaction I had with one of the places we went pero di namin nagustohan. We were at the parking lot and naka upo lang sa kotse ko looking for the next place to go. And may matandang lalaki na pinababa bintana ko para makipag usap tungkol sa kotse ko at kinompliment n'ya at pinag usapan namen yung car and at the end of our convo in compliment rin ng s'ya nung matanda. Ang ganda n'ya daw pero tinawag n'ya s'yang asawa at girlfriend ko hahaha that felt so good even though we were together she got shookt ren dahil di ata s'ya sanay maka tangap ng compliments hahah
But yeah it was just an hour two of me driving and her on my passenger sit while hugging my Gengar plushie. I never take anyone on my passenger seat besides my plushie so she's basically my first passenger princess.
When we gave up to look for alcohol we just went sa 711 to get siopao and water. We finished the night at the beach again to talk and smoked a cigarette cause she wanted to try it hahah
I guess she wanted to get drunk so she can come out of her shell a lil bit? Kase when we tried talking she can't come up with anything. To describe her, she's basically not normal. She admits it too.
She suggested that I can just talk and she'll listen. Which is I'm no way used to at that time I was also kinda vulnerable and was gonna get emotional with her pero I told her na she can ask me anything then we can start from there.
She asked me the most unhinged thing and caught off guard. Aling betlog ko daw yung mas mababa 😭 and I guess it's one of the things I like about her. Like who tf asks that under the moon light in the beach after a date?
So I was expecting her to have an emotional conversation with me when that's not her. So I just watched her do her thing that makes her happy. We went through her phone hahah this time sa discord and ig n'ya. She was just yapping while showing stuffs and was just mesmerized the whole because that's how she expresses herself. I'm also very surprised na she doesn't really talk to other guys. We did that until inaantok na s'ya and that was around 330am. So sinamahan ko lng s'ya hangang sa elevator ng hotel. I didn't get to hug her or smell her armpit cause she rushed in dahil sobrang antok n'ya na.
Man, when I tell you. That was the longest 35 mins drive back home I ever had. I caught myself tearing up sa mga stop signs/red lights from the overwhelming emotions I'm having.
So anyways this is just some of the thoughts and details that I have to share of that night; like I said I'm not the best dude but I surprised myself that night. I had my phone on do not disturb because I wanted to enjoy the moment. Opened every door for her even sa car. Minimal physical contact like holding hands but not all the time and I cherished every single moment of it. I ALWAYS asked how she's feeling every chance I get. I asked her what her boundaries are so I won't ever make her uncomfy. Which she didn't answer for some reason that I'll never know. I observed her and wanted to learn her. Never had her spend money the whole time she's with me.
Hmmm. I really went beyond and surprised of myself. My main objective of that night was just her happiness.
Honestly I was just scared of asking her what she feels about me... Part of me thinks na it's only platonic on her side or that she's not as emotionally invested on my side. Which is fine by me but it stings. Kase I never really know her intentions from the yellow app wether she's looking for a friend or something else. Also caught her stalking my profile sa bumble so baka crush nyako hehe(delulu). And there's also the underlying bittersweet fact na we both know there's an ending to it. Uuwi ren s'ya in a couple days. And as for me I know from myself na I never do LDR. But still, I wanted to do my best for her. Even though I know we are not the endgame. I want to be her standard. I want to give her the best couple nights she can have so she'll have something to remember for a very long time on her life. She somehow made me a better person that night. So yeah guys I'll have to cut this post since I'm getting kinda teary na. There's so much more I wanted to share but words cannot describe it so yeah I did the best I can to share ;))
Oh and yes, we're going on a date again later tonight ofc ;))
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2024.05.19 22:27 SirJ4ck How will the rematch between Alastor and the Vees take place? (S1 spoilers ahead)

Judging from the ending of S1 I am lead to believe that Vox and others will swiftly take their chances now that the Exorcists will probably be out of the picture for a while. They could also be confident enough to take on the Hotel directly since they have already stopped Alastor before and (barring Vox himself) they don't seem too worried about him anymore.
A direct attack would bear a number of issues anyway:
1) Lucifer. He probably scales way above the Overlords in terms of raw power and putting him in the mix would mean disaster for the Vees, especially if you picture Luci getting help by Charlie, Vaggie and maybe Alastor himself.
2) Outside alliances / connections. As of now Charlie and the crew are in friendly if not close relationships with a number of other top dogs, even not counting the extended Morningstar family. Carmilla seems to dislike the Vees and would probably help Vaggie out again. Rosie would ofc lend a hand again if needed, and even Zestial could be thrown in the mix if Carmilla is involved, not to mention he seems to be on good terms with Al.
So no, based on what we know now a direct attack would end up in disaster. But then what could the Vees do to even the odds? MAYBE they could try to expose Alastor's dark secret and thus isolate him from the rest of the crew, in order to take him down while he has no external help?
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2024.05.19 22:26 healthmedicinet Health Daily News May 18 2024

DAY: May 18 2024
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2024.05.19 22:25 HRJafael Healthcare and predatory lenders: why Gardner area women say these are their biggest needs

https://archive.is/KvEEP
Women from across the North Central region gathered to testify on issues affecting them at a public hearing hosted by the Massachusetts Commission on the Status of Women (MCSW) on March 28.
The regional public hearings are one way MCSW engages with the general public and collects information on issues Massachusetts women face daily. The hearing was held at the Mount Wachusett Community College Gardner campus.
Sarah Glen-Smith, MCSW Chair, said the commission includes all testimonies collected during public hearings in the yearly reports submitted to the state. The North Central Mass. public hearing in Gardner was the first one of the year.
Several North Central Mass. women spoke up about experiences with systemic sexism, from inaccessible healthcare treatment to predatory loans and mortgages that are targeting single mothers.
What are healthcare issues faced by North Central Mass. women?
It's been over six months since the Birthing Center at the HealthAlliance-Clinton Hospital in Leominster closed, and many pregnant people across the North Central Mass region are struggling to find medical services.
Miko Nakagawa, an Athol resident and nurse for 26 years at UMass Memorial Health in Leominster, said the region already feels the effects of the closure from last September and will worsen. She cited the Gardner parents who delivered their baby in the AC Hotel in Worcester as an example of the effects of the closure and how overwhelmed the staff at the regional hospitals are.
Nakagawa said that with the Leominster birthing center closed, regional maternity centers and hospitals are overwhelmed, and more field deliveries will occur if nothing is done to solve this problem.
"I'm really concerned that the devastating impacts that we are beginning to see will result in deaths of mothers, babies, and eventually other people's deaths," she said. "We live in a lower-social economic area, and if you look at Athol, we have nothing; it's a really scary world out here in North Central for women's healthcare."
Nakagawa said this region of Mass does not just lack birthing, maternity, or Obstetrics and Gynecology centers, but many medical services like cardiology, which impacts the well-being of women and everyone.
Single mothers are targets for predatory loans and mortgages
Grace Ross, from Mass Alliance Against Predatory Lending (MAAPL), said predatory lenders target women of all races who are in search of buying a home. She said immigrant women and single mothers, who are unfamiliar with the process of buying a home, are exploited and tricked into these unreasonable mortgages.
At the hearing, Ross said she wants the MCSW to support and take action on legislation to crack down on predatory lenders. She said many women don't know their rights as homeowners and can't afford a lawyer, so they rely on the government and organizations like MAAPL to help them.
The MAAPL is a statewide non-profit coalition of over 70 organizations that advocates for the rights of homeowners and tenants. Ross said predatory lenders are stripping the wealth of women in Massachusetts by trapping them in impossible mortgages. She said the MAAPL also provides legal help to anyone who falls for predatory lenders and can't afford a lawyer. Here are some strategies used by predatory lenders to be aware of:
• Loan flipping occurs when the lender convinces the borrower to refinance their mortgage by trapping them in a new long-term, high-rate-interest loan.
• Balloon payments: A large one-time payment after the end period of the loan.
• The contract declares extra fees or penalty-free if the loan is paid early.
• The payment structure is inconsistent.
What's next for the commission?
After gathering the testimonies of several women at last week's public hearing, the commission plans to find ways to advocate for the topics that the North Central Mass women addressed.
Smith, the MCSW chair, said the commission considers all testimonies at public hearings and will find a way to push for reform at the State House to address the several topics addressed.
The mission of MCSW is to advance women toward full equality in all areas of life by promoting rights and opportunities for all women in Massachusetts, regardless of race, economic status, immigration status, ethnic background, sexual orientation, etc.
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2024.05.19 22:24 CuriousAnachronism 24 [M4M] Germany/Europe/Online - Looking for My very own Feodor Basmanov

Prologue

Hello and welcome to my post. I will subdivide this into two large parts. One will cover my thoughts, feelings, my hopes and dreams...While the other will tell you the specifics of how I pass the time, what topics interest me, what passions do I posses. I believe that at the end of this leap into my inner world, you dear reader, will have all the necessary information to judge whether we are compatible or not.

Part I
I am writing this in the hopes of finding something that I lack. Lately I have had this feeling, this tinge of melancholy within the dephts of my being, this yearning to find a kindred spirit, another Soul, much like mine, to form a bond with. Perhaps Loneliness is the right word for what is bothering me, but to use it seems to carry with it a connotation of ungratefulness. Ungratefulness for the people that I do have in my life, although none of them, of course, have the connection to me that I seek here.

I have found it increasingly necessary to seek in this Life a sort of purity of thought. What I mean is, I have began to undestand what ideas and concepts are ultimately compatible with my inner most Self, ergo what guidelines I have to follow to feel the most whole. Naturally I have likewise realised what I cannot add to my Self and what I will henceforth reject with all the power that I posses.

With this new context in mind, I now follow on the path of self improvement. I will now begin to mold my Self into my perfected idea of how the Self should be. This is certainly a significant undertaking, one that will not be easy to follow through on but one that I ultimately have to do. To me such context is essential. It is akin to a Guiding Star shining in the night. I will follow this Star for without it I am lost in the vast Darkness.

Looking back at my life, it was suboptimal, especially if one compares the way it molded me to how I will now mold myself. I suppose I must look on with a hint of regret at all that time which one might consider to be lost. Still... I try to stave off such decisively negative interpretations, after all, I have ultimately came to these conclusions. That means that somewhere along the line I had to have picked up on enough of such ideas for them to become so cemented in my consciousness. Well, either that or I was always like this, but in that case I can at least thank my life up to this point for not being able to supress such manifestations of my inner most Self.

To add to the topic of my life, I must admit that not all the battles have yet been won, not all the Demons vanquished, not every Mountain climbed. I want you to keep such things in mind when deciding whether or not to approach me. Many will shy away, I undestand that much, but the pursuit of true Companionship is just another such battle. Having said all that I do believe that being able to overcome hurdles together carries with it a certain appeal. That is to say, what's the fun in joining once the Game is already over?

I don't shy away from such challenges, perhaps to a fault. Certain troubles that I faced in the past carry with them a long shadow over my current health and well being. Still, I intend to change little in this regard other than the proficiency with which I will clash the current of my Will against the cliffs of Life.
Part II
In this part of my post I will tell you about my interests and hobbies, I will try to be thorough, commonality in this regard is rather important to build a relationship
History. I have had an interest in history for almost a decade now, it started back in school and developed from there. Well, now that I think about it one could argue that it started even earlier in my life as I liked watching the odd historic documentary or film aired on television but it wasn't regular back then, I never actively sought it out. I am mostly interested in European history in the period between the 18th-20th century but I sometimes branch out to other time periods and other parts of the world. I watch various channels related to history and read articles and sometimes books. I have recently got a few books on the German revolution of 1848/1849 and a historical magazine on the Thirty Years' War. Besides that I try to visit museums sometimes.
Literature. Especially old novels. I like to immerse myself in the Worlds of these books, I tend to read them while listening to thematically fitting music and take my time with them. One time you are following a troubled Youth in his quest for spiritual understanding of the world, another you see the aged and decrepit Doctor gambling his very Soul on the promises of abtaining satisfaction in earthy pleasures, then again your olfaction notices the most pleasant scent known to man even as the one eminating it has the appearance of a revolting Frog. These and many other stories open up to you once you decide to set foot into the literary World.
Languages. I know three, with one being a bit rusty. I am currently working intently on strengthening it. I believe that if I continue to apply myself in this regard then I should be able to finally conquer it. What language am I working on? Well, if you were to stack all the major works in it they would be as tall as a house... It is fun to go through different works in multiple languages, the same goes for film, games and such.
Games. I recently played Cyberpunk 2077. Well as recently as I played any major story centric game. Now that the dust has settled and the bugs mostly removed...It's not that bad. The main questline at least. Besides that I tried Fallout 76 (Very average, I'm dissapointed with what they made the "RPG" system) and I might give Deus Ex Manking Divided another spin (since it's somewhat similar to Cyberpunk when it comes to its aesthetics). Dark Souls is one of my favorite series, I still haven't beaten Elden Ring though. When it came out I wasn't in the right mindset to invest a hundred hours into it, with all those bosses and difficult locations. I think I'll only consider playing it if I am streaming it to someone. I am generally interested in either streaming games or having the person I am talking to stream them to me. To be specific I mean streaming to a single person while being on call. Besides that I'm a big fan of Paradox strategy games, especially Europa Universalis IV and Heats of Iron IV, I tend to only play single player since I find multiplayer with many people to be rather stressful but on the other hand I have nothing against a co-op game. I'm not the best player though, despite the ammount of hours I have in them. Another great game I would mention would be Dragon's Dogma. A very underrated RPG. I recently beat it again and it was an atmospheric and interesting experience. It is one of those games that feel like they have an endless ammount of depth and constant new secrets to discover.
Anime and Manga. In recent times my interest in them has waned but I still watch the occasional series here and there. Like Cyberpunk Edgerunners (Which I found to be rather mediocre) and the very good first season from the new arc of Bleach. Some of my favourite series include: Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Death Note, Fate;Zero, Psycho Pass, Code Geass and Attack on Titan. I wouldn't mind if you were to introduce me to some new series, maybe based on the ones I mentioned. My favourite Manga is Berserk which I still follow, althought I am still not certain on the direction that the new author is taking. I suppose it really is a matter of contention whether a somewhat (or considerably warped) vision is better than an unfinished work. One could argue that a few novels remain unfinished and possess a macabre appeal to them as such.
Music. Classical music has a very special place in my heart. A few of my favourite pieces would be: Clair de Lune, Nocturne Op. 9 No.2, Devil's Trill Sonata, Danse Macabre, Valse Sentimentale, Symphony No. 7 in A Major, Op. 92: II. Alegreto (by Beethoven) and Suite from Swan Lake, Op. 20a: I. Scene. Moderato. There are more but these ones always invoke something in me when I listen to them. Besides Classical I also enjoy listening to Synthwave, old Western pop and J-pop, both modern and from the 20th century.
Esotericism. I am interested in things spiritual, mystical, magical and esoteric. I have read religios texts, magical grimoires, introductions to various schools of thought. It is interesting to me.
Epilogue
Hopefully I was able to cast the spotlight upon my inner World in a clear and unequivocal manner. I feel the need to add to the aforementioned that I am rather introverted, which means that I tend to dislike large social gatherings. I managed to condition myself to be able to endure the presense of large groups of people but it isn't something that I would seek out in most cases. Besides that I am neurodivergent and suffer from certain issues with mental health. I have to take medication to keep myself under control. They work well enough but certain days are harder than others. I respect the struggle that others have with mental health but in the context of a relationship I have my limits, no one with BDP for instance. I am also not looking for anything casual. I understand than one cannot demand depth and meaning from a conversation with an absolute stranger, that is akin to trying to build a sand castle right before the waves strike but I ask at least that you enter with a mindset that this might become something of significance. I also do want to say that I am completely Monogamous. My preference? The sickly, pale, intellectual who watches rain droplets slide down the window in Autumn. Lastly, if I enjoy the company of a person I tend to not want to let them go.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post and have a good day. I ask that you send a DM instead of a chat and that you give your thoughts on the time period my title is referencing as your own.
Goodbye...Or perhaps untill we meet again
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2024.05.19 22:22 Glum-Blackberry-348 Life falling apart (post highschool)

Hi, I am a failed IB student who got lucky and got into a Liberal Arts Economics University and is now in the second year. But I never lost that passion for Physics and academics. The only reason I had Liberal Arts was to figure out what to do in life and everyone saying that economics is a "high-paying degree" I took it, don't get me wrong I don't hate economics but it's just what could've been ifykwim. I spent the end of high school crying like a baby cause I did not know where my life was and now I am realizing if I just focused I would've been where I wanted to be. I went to check out international universities but all of them require good grades and letters of recommendation from the teachers. I don't know what to do anymore, logic dictates that I got lucky with this uni and I should go with it, but idk. I even went to CalTech's or any STEM university's website to scrape any hope but on every website, in bold letters, it was written everywhere "excelled in high school". Now, I could just pursue Physics as a hobby but I don't know it feels like my life is crumbling. It also feels like no one is friends for the sake of just being "friends" and it just feels lonely now.. that's a topic for another day. I need advice please, anything will help. ^u^
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2024.05.19 22:19 malcolio DRAFT 2 - NTW in Alphabetical Order. Chapter 1: Alsace-Lorraine

DRAFT 2 - NTW in Alphabetical Order. Chapter 1: Alsace-Lorraine
Europe in Early January, 1805. How the continent looks at the start of a Napoleon: Total War game.
(Thumbnail) Seven years ago I started posting a writeup of playing a game of Empire: Total War with the challenge of conquering every region in alphabetical order. This was inspired by someone trying to play Crusader Kings in alphabetical order back in 2006. After 75 chapters, with about 2,600 images and just a silly amount of text, I completed the game and swore off touching another Total War game for some time!
I’m now back, to try and achieve the same goal of conquering every region in alphabetical order but in Napoleon: Total War. I’ve never finished a game of N:TW before, so it will fun to see what this more focused and refined(?) version of E:TW will be like to play. As with my last playthrough, I’m using DarthMod and playing on Normal/Normal difficulty. I have no idea if those settings will make this challenge too easy or impossible, let’s find out!
Napoleon Bonaparte’s stats and the 11 regions I have to sell off before I can start this challenge.
There is a vast quantity of books studying the life of Napoleon Bonaparte, but what none of them will tell you is that he had a passion for the alphabet just like King Louis XIV. So obviously he was forced to sell off every region of the French Empire so that he could conquer the entirety of Europe in alphabetical order.
Unfortunately if I lose France I automatically lose the entire game, so I’ll need to unofficially keep hold of that, but otherwise I first need to trade away Alsace-Lorraine, Aquitaine, Bretagne, Corsica, Hannover, Normandie, Pays d'Oc, Picardie-Champagne, Piedmont-Liguria, Provence, and the Southern Netherlands. At the moment the French Empire’s prosperity is spectacular, its prestige sublime, but that’s going to take a bit of a hit…
The French military units in those region capitals will soon need to vacate, most are just militia and basic cavalry, but Strasbourg has a decent sized force led by Napoleon’s brother-in-law Joachim Murat.
The French Imperial Army, scattered across Alsace-Lorraine, Northern Italy, and Hannover
The rest of the Imperial Army is along the empire’s eastern border. Napoleon himself commands the largest army to the west of Strasbourg, close to two smaller forces led by Marshals Michel Ney and Louis-Nicolas Davout. Over in Northern Italy a detachment led by Marshal Jean-André Masséna guards the border with Austria, and in isolated Hannover a similar-sized group guards the city with Marshal Jean-Baptiste Bernadotte as its commander.
The two French fleets, one off Portugal and the other near Genoa, and the flagship Scipion.
The French Navy has just two fleets. The Atlantic Squadron is currently stationed near Portugal, Admiral Pierre-Charles Villeneuve commands the immense 122-gun Scipion, two 3rd rates, two 4th rates, and frigate. The Mediterranean Squadron is near French-controlled Genoa, led by Vice-Admiral Victor Durand it consists of just two frigates and a corvette.
Soon the French Empire won’t have any ports that need defending or to repair ships at, and my income is about to nosedive, so I think it’s time to do something reckless…
An outnumbered French fleet is defeated by Britain’s finest, but not without scoring a massive blow against the Royal Navy.
Admiral Villeneuve is told to take his fleet north and engage whatever enemy vessels he can find, to sink as many ships as possible even if it risks wiping out his own. It doesn’t take long: in the Bay of Biscay the Atlantic Squadron bumps into none other than Vice-Admiral Nelson and a huge British fleet. The two commanders had previously fought at the Battle of the Nile as Rear-Admirals, and in reality weren’t due to meet for another 10 months at the Battle of Trafalgar. The British fleet greatly dwarfs the French, with Nelson commanding his own 122-gun Heavy 1st rate, a 1st rate, two 2nd rates, and three 3rd rates!
I auto-resolve the battle, resulting in an expected defeat. Villeneuve survives on board a battered Scipion, with only a 4th rate for company, but somehow his squadron managed to sink every British vessel except for Nelson’s Rose! The Royal Navy has suffered a pyrrhic victory, my navy upkeep costs have gone down by more than 1,000 gold, and what remains of the Atlantic Squadron flees south to join up with the Mediterranean Squadron next turn.
Parts of the French Empire are sold off, ready for them to be retaken in alphabetical order with the rest of Europe.
With those naval manoeuvres finished I start haggling with other nations to remove eleven French regions that are stopping me from starting my alphabetical challenge. I sell each region to a different ruler, to get as much cash from the sale and to stop any one nation becoming too powerful. I try to give territory that is towards the end of the alphabet to my allies, and those towards the start to my enemies, to prevent having to backstab my friends until I’m already forced to destroy them anyway.
While cash is important I also barter for as many technologies as I can: one technology can take 7 turns to research, gaining them now will pay dividends in growing my economy and strengthening my armed forces.
The main achievement of these region swaps, apart from losing all my income and making me only one region away from defeat, is completely changing the United Kingdom’s foreign policy: by letting George III have both a personal and political union with Hannover I convince the British Empire to abandon all of its allies, and instead join the side of its centuries-old nemesis. That recent battle in Biscay didn’t seem to matter! Along with becoming friends with Prussia I now feel less worried that Paris might be immediately marched on, though it’s hard to tell how long these new alliances will last.
The first unedited screenshot of the game. France is exempt from taxes, to help pretend it doesn’t exist, which doesn’t help the Empire’s negative income.
After all those region swaps I now only control France, as mentioned before I can’t remove this territory without automatically losing the game. So to try not to benefit from being forced to keep France I’ve set myself the rule that I cannot build anything there, cannot research there, cannot recruit any troops from Paris, and the region is exempt from taxes. I keep a company of Grenadiers à Cheval and two artillery batteries to defend the capital, together they cost 546 gold a turn in upkeep so Paris is losing me money!
Right, the game is now set up to start my challenge of conquering Europe in alphabetical order (sort of, ignore France). Which region do I need to capture first?
Alsace-Lorraine. Only just traded to the Austrian Empire, it is surrounded by French armies including one teleported from Hannover.
This is Alsace-Lorraine. Two images ago it became Austrian, in exchange for 5,530 gold and two technologies that would have taken me 14 turns to research. Unfortunately for Austria the region is surrounded by the bulk of the French Imperial Army, so the question isn’t how will I immediately conquer Alsace-Lorraine but can I do so without losing a single soldier?
The full might of the Imperial Army is amassed against Strasbourg, defended by a small number of Austrian infantrymen and some armed civilians.
Marshals Ney, Murat, and Bernadotte link up to immediately attack Strasbourg together. The full stack of units is supported by further armies commanded by Napoleon and Marshal Davot. Protecting the city is just five companies of Austrian line infantry, supported by hastily-armed citizens.
Alsace-Lorraine is captured, denting the expected deficit and allowing resources to be spent on improving the French military and economy.
It would be insanity to resist such an attack so the small Austrian infantry detachment wisely surrenders without a fight. Unfortunately, yet again, there is no battle to see here!
I choose to peacefully occupy Strasbourg and immediately start the construction of basic roads, a cannon factory, a musket manufactory, and an iron mine, plus a cantonment to replace the local tax office. Until that’s all built I can’t actually recruit any more soldiers, cavalry, or artillery (as I’m ignoring France existing). So avoiding a battle is boring but the troops I have are priceless!
The people of Alsace-Lorraine are unhappy under French rule, despite being Austrian for less time than it takes to read this sentence. Luckily I need to keep a large garrison here anyway to protect against my enemies to the east, and I also lower taxes a little to keep the region’s population and wealth growing, so the newly conquered population should be content for now.
OK, so far this challenge seems ridiculously easy, I captured my first region immediately without a single casualty. What’s next?
Aquitaine. Until very recently French, traded away to the Russian Empire.
This is Aquitaine. Like Alsace-Lorraine it was part of the French Empire but quickly traded away, this time to Russia, and like Strasbourg an enemy force has magically popped into existence to guard the region’s capital.
Unlike last time though there are no doom stacks waiting, ready to steamroll the city. What I do have is a random collection of units which originally guarded Bordeaux, Rennes, and Toulouse. A force of two companies of Chasseurs à Cheval (light cavalry) and two cohorts of the local National Guard is led by Captain Alexandre de Rosée, who waits for a company of Chevau-légers Lanciers (lancer cavalry) and another cohort of militia to reinforce him from Bretagne. Combined, this ragtag group of misfits should be enough to win against six battalions of Russian infantry squatting in Bordeaux. So attacking the city will need to wait until next turn, but before we move to Late January 1805 I have a few chores to do…
The French Empire is leaps and bounds ahead of every other nation in research, but this has ground to a halt until a college can be acquired.
One task is to think about researching new technologies. Most nations begin with all technologies locked, some are lucky to have already researched one or two when the game starts. France is luckiest of all with three technologies already researched: Army Corps Organisation, Conscription, and Division of Labour). Thanks to those earlier region trades the French now also understand Classical Economics), Fire and Advance), Improved Coppering), National Debt), and Public Schooling.
Those technologies provide various small economic and military bonuses which will take any other nation at least 50 turns to research, so I’m at a significant advantage on turn 1. However with my self-imposed rule of ignoring the existence of France I cannot use Orléans to start researching any new technologies, instead I send my two gentlemen east towards the first region which will provide a college I can use. It will take more than 10 turns for François-René de Chateaubriand and Jean Rapp to reach their destination, in the meantime my enemies will have unlocked a new technology each, and I have to hope the college they’re travelling to will be controlled by the French Empire by the time they arrive! Charles-Louis Schulmeister, French spy extraordinaire, joins them on the journey.
The French Council of State sees the appointment of a Keeper of the Seals, and new trade deals dent an expected deficit.
One other job to do before ending the first turn is to review who is running things. My starting ministers all have decent stats except for 3 star Keeper of the Seals Claude Ambroise Régnier. I replace him with a string of candidates until one, Oliver Molyneux, arrives with the Stallholder trait which give him a total of 4 management stars. That one extra star means the cost of repressing unrest in my regions is 3% cheaper, and that repression now has a +1 bonus. Small benefits like that could make or break my game in the long run!
Selling off all my regions severed all my trade routes. I reestablish all of them except the one with Spain, as I no longer have a sea or land connection with the Iberia Peninsula. Instead I create a trade agreement with the Electorate of Hesse-Kassel, worth 300 less gold than the Spanish agreement. Overall my trade income has dropped by 1,100 gold since I started this game, but at least I’m now only going to lose 2,880 in gold per turn!
This is just a draft, it will be taken down when I post the finished thing on the total war subreddit.
submitted by malcolio to u/malcolio [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 22:15 PadamPadamMyHeart I made the decision to turn my back on two nieces and cutting them out of my life?

I am a 58-year-old male - culturally Greek, raised in Australia, migrated to the U.S. and have lived in NYC for over 20 years now. My parents raised my two older sisters – 9.5 years older with 3 children and 4 years older with two daughters, and myself, the only son and youngest of three, Down Under. I left my family in Australia upon moving to NYC in 2004 with my partner. It was tough leaving them behind because as dysfunctional as we were, we all loved each other.
Unfortunately, in the 8 year lead up to the pandemic – first, I lost my father to colon cancer; 2 years later my beautiful mother to vascular dementia; 2 years after that my 14 year marriage dissolved after my partner admitted he had been having an affair with a work colleague for several months; 1.5 years after that my middle sister and dear friend died from a brain aneurysm; followed by my eldest sister who died of lung cancer the following year.
I fell so ill from stress that I developed severe IBS and had to have emergency surgery. I thought I was going to die. If that wasn’t enough, I hadn’t even healed when I caught COVID; lost my job a few weeks later; and, then I managed to survived a home invasion during which I was assaulted and threatened with a knife but, somehow, I managed to get the two criminals out of my space in 7.5 minutes, without a single item stolen. I’ve been through a lot but I’ve always battled through.
My middle sister had two daughters, M1 aged 40, and M2 aged 38. Until my sister passed away in early 2018, I had a great relationship with M1. I was always there to support as she tended toward “unlucky in love” and was also diagnosed with lupus over a decade ago. Her mother and I were always solid support for her, and she would speak to me about any personal problem.
Her younger sister M2 is a very different character and was I was unable to build as strong a relationship – it was not purposeful nor deliberate. I made attempts and managed to get closer to her after she was married but she always tended to be more distant. As hard as I tried, M1 & I sensed that she somewhat resented my relationship with her older sister.
After my sister passed away suddenly aged only 56, we were all devastated. I flew in from NYC and was in Australia for 9 days for the funeral. I spent 7 of the 9 days with my brother-in-law (BIL) - a good man – and my two nieces M1 & M2. It was an emotionally draining stay, with a relentless stream of visitors to pay their respects.
I spent the other 2 days house-sitting for a dear friend which I gladly accepted to secure some peace and solitude. I slept at least 16-18 hours on each day. Upon returning to my BIL’s home for my final two days, M1 approached me and asked to speak to me outside in their back yard. She proceeded to tell me how very disappointed she was in me; that she felt I was an “absent mourner" and not supporting her in her grief in the way she expected; I was also not grieving "appropriately," and that her mother /my sister would be disappointed.
I had travelled 24 hours, in a blur, halfway across the globe to bury my sister and was now receiving bereavement advice from my niece. I told her to quit with the nonsense and that she should mourn her mother any way she likes, but she is not to tell me how I should conduct myself when I’m grieving.
Her voice quickly escalated, and she proceeded to then scream at the top of her voice about how disgusting I was that I wasn’t “there” to respect her mother; and be there for her. I reminded M1 that her mother, was also my sister and I knew her for a whole lot longer than she did. I also reminded her that staying for 7 of 9 days with her, does not constitute “being absent” in anybody’s language.
It was midnight, she continued to scream, yell, abuse me with neighbors being woken up on all sides. I stood up and decided to leave and not put up with her bullshit any longer. I walked inside and caught her sister, M2, ears to the door, listening to everything … and it made me realize they were bothin on this effort to publicly “dress me down”.
M2 proceeded to "stand with her sister" and yell at me, too. I was seriously flabbergasted by their accusations. My BIL certainly did not feel the same way and he told the girls to explain to him what their problem was!?! If there was a real problem – he should be the first to be complaining about me. Their anger and resentment was shocking, inexplicable and totally unfounded. I flew home to NYC two days later devastated not just at losing my beautiful sister - but at my nieces’ disgraceful performance.
In November 2020, I flew back to Australia to visit family for the holiday season as COVID enveloped the globe. I struggled to feel fully comfortable with my nieces, and one thing is for sure: they never apologized to me for their outburst at me less than two years prior. This time it was the festive season and I decided to stay some of the time at BIL's house. Upon arriving, I was shocked - the house was spotlessly clean, as my sister liked to keep it, and everything in the house was unchanged - everything was in the exact same spot, as the day my sister died. I was concerned, M1 was clearly struggling, not dealing with her mother’s death. Even her father, my BIL had started casually dating another woman, and I threw support behind him which he appreciated. M1, on the other hand, was vehemently against this, and refused to give her father’s new relationship her blessing.
Eventually, the inevitable happened – M1 starts to relay a story that I recognized as my own, and after a few erroneous details, I reminded her of the facts that she was actually deviating from. She literally exploded for not allowing her to relay my story… incorrectly.
Yet again, her screams and anger were so loud, that I actually saw neighbors peering over their fencing. She screamed at me to leave "her house" and that I was the devil. (I need to add here that both nieces became born again Evangelical Christians.) I reminded her that the house belonged to my sister & BIL, and she had no authority over whether I stay or not.
Her screams & verbal attack, (the second one now), was so loud, aggressive, and her enraged face so red, that she looked unhinged. I went to grab a mug to make a coffee and get as far away from her as I could. As my hand reached into the cupboard for a mug, she used the cupboard door to p.a. me I saw stars.I stared at her in shock and said: "You just p.a. your mother's brother," at which she just screamed even louder
My BIL arrived shortly after and I told him that I needed to leave. I gave him the facts and then told him: "She doesn't support your new relationship - not because its "too soon" - but because she's miserable and unhappy… and she begrudges anyone their happiness - it eats away at her." She screamed at him to throw me out until he yelled "Shut up!" at her. She then called us both devils and stormed into her room.
Now, a brief focus on M2. It was summer 2017, and M2 was due in November with her second child. Her husband is American and M2 moved here from Australia and were living in the Midwest. I attempted to build a closeness with her since she was living in the US. During a call to her in July 2017, she invited me for Thanksgiving that year to be with her family, as well as see her mothemy sister and BIL who were spending several weeks there to welcome their new grandchild.
I was so excited. I even told M2 that I would stay at a nearby hotel, so as not to burden them with a newborn at home. A few weeks prior to Thanksgiving, I called to confirm my dates, etc., and without missing a beat, she proceeds to tell me that it is now all too much for her and she retracted her invitation …I was dis-invited. I sat there in silence, in shock.
I had discretely asked my sister several weeks prior, whether she would consider visiting NYC with my BIL, even for a weekend, as they were going to be with M2 for over 6 weeks and were so close!
She said to me, "Do you think we haven't thought of that? We'd love to come to come to NYC and see you. But we'll never hear the end of it from ‘you-know-who’."
So, I spent Thanksgiving on my own, with no family in NYC, less than 1.5 hours flying time away from a warm, festive house that contained M2, her family, my BIL and my dear sister.
Less than 3 months later … my sister was dead. And I never got a chance to see her one last time.
That opportunity was taken from me without so much as an "I'm sorry that I did that to you." In fact, I never received an apology from either M1 nor M2 for all the things they did to me.
When I got back to NYC from the disastrous Aussie trip, M2 refused to communicate with me any further, so I knew M1 had been in her ear about our fallout and likely never even mentioned the p.a. I contacted her and mentioned that minimally, I expected her to at least hear me out.
Her response???
"In my experience, I would describe you the same way my sister would, so I tend to believe her, and my role now is to protect my family."
I replied, "What, so your family is in danger now? From me?!"
She curtly wrote: "I wish to focus on my family, my sister, and the Lord." ...or something to that effect.
I can genuinely, authentically state that I still have no idea why they turned so viciously nasty, so vindictive, and without sounding too dramatic – so evil towards me. I have my other nieces, family, friends to back me up wholeheartedly. It was ironic to me that the two evangelicals ended up being so mean-spirited, and emotionally abusive.
I knew I had to make a big decision, so I sought the counsel of some wonderful loved ones in my inner circle, and their guidance was unanimous: walk away from the toxicity. I knew I had no other choice. I have not spoken to my two nieces for four years now.
I posted this to see if others had similar experiences, and to gather feedback as to whether I was an a-hole for cutting my two nieces out of my life.
submitted by PadamPadamMyHeart to family [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 22:14 hangtenbro 24, marketing grad but uninspired - how do I get started?

I am a 24-year-old autistic dude living a short way to the East of London in the UK. In 2022, I graduated with a 2:1 Bachelors of Science degree in Marketing, but owing to personal circumstances, I've spent most of the time between then and now not working. I'm also not really interested in my area of study anymore and would like to pursue something different.
There was a short period of time for just under three months where my father had invited me to work as an intern for the fintech company he worked at as a Market Data Intern. My job was to ensure that we had the correct data in our database for various financial securities. It was very challenging at first - I felt very far out of my comfort zone - but it did feel a bit easier in time. However, I was told that it was possible that my time at the company would be cut short as they had little work for me; decidedly, I chose to leave on my own terms.
Since then, I went on a UX design bootcamp, and after that, I hit the books and learnt some coding fundamentals (HTML/CSS, JavaScript, and PHP in particular), and was optimistic that, in time, I would be able to form a worthy portfolio of projects to use as a foundation for starting a career as a web designer and developer... until I realised that the job market for tech is - to understate - not great right now.
Currently, I occupy my time volunteering for a political party in my area, sending leaflets, canvassing households, and inputting the data we obtain from those canvasses into the party's voter database. I find it rewarding for its own sake - naturally, I want the party I represent to get into power this year - but indeed, I feel it has helped me regain my confidence after my time at university. Likewise, my work has been recognised by others in the local party, with the local party chair describing me as their most reliable volunteer. I've also done two much more short-term volunteering positions: helping to clean up the local woodlands and stewarding at a street art festival.
Throughout the last few months, I've been considering some other alleyways into a career. I've applied for administrative jobs in the logistics sector - quite large where I live - because of my special interest in passenger transport, and the possibility that I could convert my interest in that to cargo. However, I have had trouble with this, because I don't have a driving licence and would much prefer not driving (edit: apparently, even for a back-room position like this, it is important). In the last few days, I've considered recruitment consultant roles because they could consolidate many of the skills I've picked up over the years and because the job has a sense of genuine utility, but many job descriptions ask for someone who is particularly "money-hungry" and I don't really feel that I am that? Indeed, part of me feels I could take an administrative job anywhere, try and climb the ladder, and see where the heck I end up? And indeed, part of me has thought about doing a Master's in something like political communications or town and country planning (a leap, I know!), but I don't think it's the right time for me just yet.
Does anyone have any advice? Thank you in advance.
Mostly AI-Generated TL;DR: 24, autistic, living near London. With a marketing degree in hand, I'm seeking a career that ignites my passion. Web design seemed promising, but the job market gives me pause. Currently, volunteering for a political party fuels my sense of purpose (they even call me their most reliable volunteer!). Logistics appealed to my love for public transport, but my lack of a driver's license hinders that path. Recruitment consulting feels like a good fit for my skills, but the focus on sales isn't a great match. An administrative role with growth potential sounds ideal. Maybe I could even pursue a Master's in a field like political communications someday, but for now, I'm focused on finding the perfect fit.
submitted by hangtenbro to careerguidance [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 22:12 LowNo7505 Northern Italy Trip

Hi! My partner and I are planning a Northern Italy trip this summer, our current itinerary is below and we’re planning on renting a car to drive between locations. However, I’m wondering if anyone has advice for a place (town and hotel) to stop at for a night to break up the drive between the Dolomites and Piedmont? Right now we’re thinking of stopping in Lake Garda (not interested in Lake Como), Verona, or Modena. We also don’t want to stop in Milan since we’ll be ending our trip there.
Itinerary: 1. Drive from Venice to the Dolomites - stay two nights near Corvara 2. 3 nights in Ortisei 3. 3 nights in Piedmont 4. 2 nights in Milan
Any advice is appreciated! Also if anyone has restaurant recommendations in any of these spots that would be amazing.
submitted by LowNo7505 to chubbytravel [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 22:08 caffeinehell Blank mind causing suicidal ideation, psych recommending ECT. Is this part of anhedonia or DPDR?

So I am more so from the anhedonia community but since this symptom is reported often here im posting here. The thing is I dont have the other DPDR symptoms like dream like state etc. its specifically anhedonia blunting and blank mind and sexual castration.
This blank mind symptom does not respond to anything. I did not have it before in my anhedonia until my horrid crash mid-late last month. It came on slowly in 2 weeks after Benadryl. Benadryl crashed my anhedonia/blunting/sexual function in the span of an hour as the sedation hit. Prior to this I was like maybe 65% recovered I had just low interest excitement low passion and sexual issues. This completely worsened all that.
Nardil 15 mg I got on in a week since things got so bad anhedonia wise, and indeed acutely the GABA and PEA stims effect helped. I took it EOD at that dose for 2 weeks. In the 2nd week though at the end I then noticed that I felt more blunted and cognitively affected. Brain was slower and then I noticed i dont have inner monologue. Got off it and the symptom is still there. Its crazy because initially it helped me but now im in hell. My gut also slowed down a bunch and I already have a bunch of gut issues stuff going on that contributed to anhedonia.
Its likely from the anti cholinergic of Benadryl and the serotonergic as well as slow motility effect.
Had an endoscopy with Propofol last Monday and the doctor suspected fungal overgrowth. He thinks this can be creating sensitivities too. The propofol during the endoscopy gave me a day long window at least in the anhedonia aspect but I still had the damn blank mind.
My life feels over with this symptom. Its even worse than anhedonia itself. Even if my anhedonia were to resolve, I would be suicidal with blank mind as I would have no personality. I dont know if it’s connected to anhedonia still or I have a new condition. Im hoping it is. Because DPDR is usually not treatable via ECT but anhedonia is.
My doctor has recommended ECT for blank mind essentially. No meds touch it. Gabapentin/Armoda helped my anhedonia before but they do not help this symptom and the effect on anhedonia also is less since this symptom
I feel completely fucked now with an even worse condition than anhedonia that is already a poorly understood hell. Blank mind isnt even in the medical literature. This is the one paper I found which mentioned it and it was in the context of PET and DPDR https://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/doi/pdf/10.1176/appi.ajp.157.11.1782
I am very worried. I do feel robotic with blank mind and going through the motions. I have blunting/anhedonia but I had that before blank mind and now ofc its even worse. I cannot feel anxiety as physicallt now even though mentally i can kinda. I get up everyday and feel “lost” since blank mind and I cannot access my personality. Anhedonia affects personality too but this completely nuked it and whenever I think about this I just get suicidal.
Its fucking insane there is stuff even worse than anhedonia. My consummatory anhedonia is less bad still right now although I have anticipatory but this blank mind has ruined me and at this point increased anhedonia. I cannot connect with people, words and memories are harder to recall. I havent even done ECT yet but its like I developed cognitive issues now anyways suddenly.
Cognition and hedonic tone/emotion literally define life. No amount of stupid useless CBT is going to convince me otherwise. Therapy just makes me more hopeless.
I tried Ketamine IV recently too again, even that did not break through blank mind. It did not worsen anything tho. Benzos do help anhedonia some but do not help this blank mind symptom. Nothing does
submitted by caffeinehell to dpdr [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 22:04 SafeTouch6845 Help find a episode

Hi, can help me find a episode plz
I know the episode begin like this - my friends left hotel without pay and left me sleeping... After this the manager make op work for years, i know the op was In school to, and the end is - op talk with a lawyer team that help realease him and get compensatio.
Was a strong story, i already try find but dont have, can someone help and know the story, thanks you
submitted by SafeTouch6845 to rSlash_YT [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 21:54 FitzwilliamTDarcy Lake Como to mostly relax for a week in July. Which would you do?

We're staying at a nice hotel in Moltrasio.
Thinking about alternating between A days and B days over the course of the week, one day in, one day out, mixing either as follows:
A day- Stay at the hotel pool for the day to relax, eat lunch there or nearby, and go out to eat elsewhere (as in, take a ferry to another town to have dinner, understanding we'd probably have to pay for private boat trip back after dinner depending on ferry schedules)
B day- Do an excursion (e.g. visit a villa like Carlotta, Balbianello, etc, or town like Como, Bellagio, etc), then return to our hotel, rest/clean up and have dinner there
OR:
A day- Stay at the pool for the day to relax, eat lunch and dinner there or nearby
B day- Do an excursion (e.g. visit a villa like Carlotta, Balbianello, etc, or town like Como, Bellagio, etc), then eat dinner in those places before returning to the hotel (again, probably private transport back if after ferries)
Concern with the second A/B is that at the end of a day out we'll be hot, tired, and maybe not exactly how we want to present at dinner. Or should I not worry about that?
submitted by FitzwilliamTDarcy to ItalyTravel [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 21:51 Icy-Technician2434 Going on a 5 week long trip with my ex who cheated on me

My ex (20/F) and I (21/F) were together for over 2 years. This trip was planned a year ago so bear with me. Recently, on February of this year.. She confessed about liking a co worker but we brought it up to our therapist and decided to work on our relationship. To summarize she lied about not liking the co worker anymore and only saw him as a great friend.. I believed it but she kept letting the guy flirt with her, and I told her to stay away this WHOLE TIME because she is letting him in our relationship and he could possibly ruin what we have. Her and the co worker went out one time and we fought about it, we eventually took a break (this happened last month, we’re not allowed to see anyone during this break) but she decided to go out with him twice and after one of the hangouts she decided to end it with me because she realized that she likes him.
She eventually started a non serious relationship with him after we broke up, and it led to something more serious and he apparently loves her. A few days ago, he ended things with her because my ex and i are still going on the trip.. but he came back to her life after just 2 days of ending it to say that he’s willing to quit his job to follow her around. Our trip is in 2 weeks and I do not know how to go about the trip except cancel the hotels/airbnbs and book a separate one for myself. I really was looking forward to the trip but her mess is hurting me. If anyone has been in the same situation as me, please your insight on the situation would be helpful. I’m going on the trip regardless because everything is non refundable.
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2024.05.19 21:46 Apprehensive_Stay828 My family completely does not believe me after I disclosed abuse to them TW

When I was a teen I told my aunt and uncle that my mom used to get my brother to beat me for talking to a teacher when I was in distress.
I thought they believed me but as time wore on, their actions towards me indicated they didn’t and in fact they felt reason to smear me, and expose my address and be vindictive.
I experienced another difficult situation with a superintendent who would get drunk and harass me and try to intimidate me. When I told my family I felt uncomfortable letting him in my space they accused me of making it up for attention. His behaviour became so concerning I stayed at a hotel out of fear he might attack me.
My family stonewalled me then one relative said she almost gave my address to my mom as some sort of weird way of saying I deserved her for bothering them about my problems. I had been no contact for 10 years over her behaviour. Even this relative said my mother was abusive and narcissistic.
I mockingly said I may bar contact with them if they exposed my address. This relative was enraged at my response.
When my mother died they gave entire control of her end of life stuff to my brother (same one who abused me) and told me I would probably just upset people. When I go to family funerals I usually barely make a peep and try to leave early.
When I tried to confront them on how they were handling communication they lashed out and accused me of starting drama. They told me everyone said I was an angry person and that I shouldn’t go. They then denied talking to anyone about my anger and said I was imagining things.
When I pointed out what they said and asked them to refrain from gaslighting me they freaked out and came at me with personal attacks. They said I was mentally unwell, and just like my abuser.
They also accused me of threatening them with abandonment when I mockingly suggested barring contact after they said they tried to give my address to my abusive mother. They also swore up and down they never knew where my mother lived (even though they said they tried to give my address to her).
Unprompted, this relative further accused me of being crazy, toxic and deserving of being disowned. She further emphasized that I lived in a world of lies. She accused me of being pathetic while emphasizing how wonderful she is. She accused me of playing victim.
I replied without responding saying my abusers simply made their own choices. I told her to stop splitting me into being all evil and to just try basic empathy and stop involving herself in my life like she has.
She said I was in a psychotic episode and she was going to charge me with harassment. I laughed at how over the top she was being and I blocked her and any other problematic relative.
Yesterday I found out the superintendent who creeped me out was sending dick pics to a friend, calling her derogatory names and basically harassing her and showing up at her home uninvited. He is literally a predator in my opinion.
I am sad my family doesn’t support me and just seem to make troubling situations worse.
Is this the usual experience of women to be dismissed to the point of being made vulnerable by their families?
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2024.05.19 21:45 Lopsided_Box60 Interesting Affordable Hotel/Ryokan near Transit in Tokyo?!

Hi Redditors -
I'm looking for something of a unicorn. Traveling to Tokyo at the end of July with my partner. He's hoping to stay somewhere that's less crowded and busy (so perhaps Shibuya or Shinjuku are out of the question???), but also a place close to transport with some decent food options. I was looking at Asakusa, but every hotel I see is just so sterile and blah for a relatively high price point. I would love to stay somewhere unique and interesting (definitely looking for a private room and bathroom), but at a reasonable price point (~$150 USD/per night). Ryokan's seem like a cool option, but can't find a reasonably priced one. Would gladly expand the areas we look, if recommended. Any ideas? Does this unicorn exist?
Thanks, Ya'll!
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2024.05.19 21:37 jamawg Yet another anomaly?

Last week someone was asking why Boomhauer, as a Texas Ranger, didn't notice something - many seasons before he was revealed as a Texas Ranger.
I just finished watching 1107 - The Passion of Dauterive, and at the end hank tells Bill "it's been 3,000 miles since you had your oil changed. Time to take your can into the shop".
In what world would any of those boys not change their own oil? Dang ol' breakin' character man, I tell you hwhat
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2024.05.19 21:36 Healthy_Creme_1149 2024 KC - Rollercoaster of Disappointment

Preseason, KC was the obvious favorite for EVERYTHING. Rightfully so -
Vatira and Rise already had that Moist chemistry which made this roster even scarier. Pair this with the following things and this team could be disgusting, right?
They came out of the gate HOT. 3 straight regionals and a good performance at major. Teams likely had some level of subconscious insecurity going into a match with THE juggernaut, the team everyone said would dookie on everyone for months before the season. There was just that scary aura about this team.
Once the major happened, everything changed. The "scary aura" seemingly vanished. They were beaten multiple times and almost lost a few more.
I believe there was a honeymoon phase paired with steel confidence that was shattered. Rise was looking shaky, Atow went back to the bust side of his boom-or-bust nature that we all saw plenty in his Team Liquid days. Vatira became invisible, he isn't a Zen, Faze Firstkiller, SSG Daniel type player to drag his team across the finish line himself. On Moist, Joyo and Rise were the two leading the charge while Vatira was THE anchor. This glass cannon shattered in record time.
They proceeded to lose in an embarrassing fashion to two teams that had no business ever losing to and likely will miss major 2. If Oxygen and BDS keep performing (and especially if KC choke in qual#6), they will miss Worlds but that is more unlikely.
If this current Oxygen team existed to start the season (or this was a 3 split season) , I don't think KC makes worlds or ends as a top 4 team in EU after Major 1. I do agree that the top 8 should auto-qualify for swiss and hopefully that will be the case next year. But it's not now. And KC lost with every advantage on their side. They crumbled in one of the most epic ways we've ever seen in this e-sport.
That being said, don't be surprised if the script has them winning worlds, L0L. As we saw with 21-22 BDS, all that matters is you performed JUST enough to make worlds, no matter how ugly, and that a team's potential is reached at the right time.
submitted by Healthy_Creme_1149 to RocketLeagueEsports [link] [comments]


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