Thesis sentence worksheets middle school

Im a housewife right now with two daughters that are studying, one in middle school and one in primary school. My husband works overseas since he doesn't have any options since there is little to no chance of getting a good pay here. I did had a chance to work back in the days but right now, Im having a hard time finding a job that has a schedule that will fit in my kids schedule. I don't have anyone besides myself and I'm struggling to make it up to my husband. My heart breaks everytime my husband is ranting or telling me that I need to move my butt off because its as if I dont care about him at all. He always criticize me for not working. Well to be honest I wanted to work so bad as well. But the thing is, its as if he can't see my worth being a mom for his daughters. Im trying to find a way to earn as well, I really do! But why he thinks otherwise? Telling me Im a liar for making him believe me that I will help financially. Its killing me!!!! I tried giving up multiple times in life because people around me are always making me feel that Im worthless and useless. 😭 Why can't they see that sometimes theyre the reason why I'm like this right now!!! I never wanted to be called useless and worthless by my own husband!!!! It hurts sooo bad!!!

Gal Gun: Double Peace + DLC
Resident Evil 0
White Day: A Labyrinth Named School + DLC
Ephemeral Tale
Burnhouse Lane
Shred! 2
Black Paradox
Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
WrestleQuest
The Walking Dead: Season 1
The Walking Dead: Season 2
The Walking Dead - 400 Days DLC
Dark Deity
Twin Mirror
Stop Dead
Syberia 3
Earth Defense Force 4.1 Wingdiver The Shooter
Earth Defense Force: Iron Rain

{Earth Defense Force DLCs}

Ifrit
Blood Storm
Gleipnir
Spark Lancer
BM03 Vegalta Gold
Gigantus Tank, Bullet Girls Marking
Gigantus Tank, EDF IFPS Markings
Gigantus Tank, Natsuiro HS Markings
Reflectron Laser
Sting Shot
Volatile Napalm
Pure Decoy Launcher 5 Pack A
Pure Decoy Launcher 5 Pack B
Depth Crawler Gold Coat
Gigantus DCC-Zero Marking
Gigantus DCC-Gogo. Marking
https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/14ch9oy/heliaspaos_igs_rep_page/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Gal Gun: Double Peace + DLC
Resident Evil 0
White Day: A Labyrinth Named School + DLC
Ephemeral Tale
Burnhouse Lane
Shred! 2
Black Paradox
Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
WrestleQuest
The Walking Dead: Season 1
The Walking Dead: Season 2
The Walking Dead - 400 Days DLC
Dark Deity
Twin Mirror
Stop Dead
Syberia 3
Earth Defense Force 4.1 Wingdiver The Shooter
Earth Defense Force: Iron Rain

{Earth Defense Force DLCs}

Ifrit
Blood Storm
Gleipnir
Spark Lancer
BM03 Vegalta Gold
Gigantus Tank, Bullet Girls Marking
Gigantus Tank, EDF IFPS Markings
Gigantus Tank, Natsuiro HS Markings
Reflectron Laser
Sting Shot
Volatile Napalm
Pure Decoy Launcher 5 Pack A
Pure Decoy Launcher 5 Pack B
Depth Crawler Gold Coat
Gigantus DCC-Zero Marking
Gigantus DCC-Gogo. Marking
https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/14ch9oy/heliaspaos_igs_rep_page/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

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I have a guy best friend since middle school. We are so close and he is amazing . Like family. In college the lines were blurred and we drink and make out. It affected our relationship because it was just back and forth. A part of me feels like if we were meant to be it would’ve happened and he is my friend and I should focus on that , other part of me feels like I’m missing out on my soulmate but then again I’m not attracted to him physically. I need advice on what to do before I ruin my friendship because I miss my friend . It’s tough having guy best friends cause at some point things can get rough, but I wanna know how do I know where to stand ?

AITA? Hey y'all. First time poster here. 😅 This is a REALLY LONG one...
TW: d34th (grief), DV
How do I (28F) not make ADHD my entire personality? 😫 I am unmedicated (unemployed and medication is not something I can afford rn), and find it extremely difficult not to let my neurodivergence permeate throughout my entire life and affect my relationships. I really try my best, but it's an uphill battle when it affects how I communicate, relate with others, and self-regulate the RSD. I also have an anxious attachment style due to childhood trauma and history of domestic abuse in a previous relationship, so there's that. 😔 One of the most challenging things about being a neurodivergent living in a predominantly neurotypical world is the lack of education on it and lack of empathy and compassion for people on the spectrum. Not trying to be a victim here, this is just my experience.
Some of the things I battle with:

• executive dysfunction
• oversharing and dealing with shame thereafter
• being long-winded (taking forever to get to the point bc I add too much context in the hopes of being understood, bc honestly, I always feel misunderstood)
• feeling things super intensely and struggling to manage my emotions
• memory loss (this predisposes me to gaslighting where I could be gaslit or even be the gaslighter)

So I've been talking to this guy (28M) via Facebook messenger and mostly Whatsapp for about 9 months now. We're long distance (living in different provinces - I'm in South Africa btw), and both have so much going on in our lives, that it's simply not practical to be official bc 1. I'm unemployed and have so much trauma and internal work to get through, while he is trying to build a successful business that is still quite a baby (less than 5 years old) and 2. We just want to be realistic about the chances of a LDR being successful. So right now, we're in a talking stage.
Now this guy has been all green flags since we started talking. Attentive, kind, funny without being mean, God-fearing (I respect all beliefs, even the lack thereof so this is not a jab at anyone who isn't. It's simply a green flag for ME as we are aligned in that way), family oriented, and honestly he is just always really nice and reassuring to me, even in moments where I have done something to upset him. That stood out to me bc he does not withold intimacy when we have conflict. He also has a genuine curiosity about how my ADHD affects me, and has always shown compassion to me about it. This is really important bc I've never experienced this with ANY man I have dealt with. I usually look for love in men who get irritated by this, I have been told that I use my ADHD as an excuse in some arguments with an ex, been shamed for the executive dysfunction and long-windedness, have had boundaries crossed regarding my physical sensitivity to certain touch bc I guess ADHD doesn't seem like a real thing to certain people?
Anyway, he's been going through a lot mentally and emotionally, his business has been taking a lot of knocks, funding and budget issues etc. He lives on a farm (hates city life lol) which he finds to be more peaceful to him, however, he's been in the city for about 3 months now due to work setbacks. It's affected his mental health quite negatively, and I often feel pained by this. I often feel helpless bc I can't solve his problems, and he just becomes aloof and buries his head in work. I can completely understand this, bc his business is his baby, and he's dedicated about 4 years into making it a success, forfeiting a social life completely, and that includes dating. He is extremely self-sufficient and unlike me, he is able to compartmentalize his life and readjust his priorities to make space for his career needs. He has no problem making difficult choices for long-term rewards. Now mix that with his own childhood trauma that has created abandonment issues with him. 🤦🏾‍♀️ He is of the sad opinion that everyone leaves, and it's always just a matter of time.
This is a problem, bc I also battle RSD, so when I feel his aloofness, it feels like he's so distant. This makes me feel unsafe in being vulnerable. I withdraw completely and start fighting feelings of being unwanted and neglected. It's a really difficult one bc I don't want to play in to his abandonment issues, and I also want to give him grace bc he hasn't really dealt with a woman romantically in YEARS. He has communicated this with me, so I try to keep it in mind, even tho I have to fight my own head sometimes. 😅🤦🏾‍♀️ But how do I get over these feelings? How do I communicate this with him when he has warned me over and over about what's happening in his life? It seems that his challenges are challenging both of us, and I'm honestly just scared of losing him.
Thought I was done? Lol, sorry, but no. My long-winded behind is only just about to get to the main point of this post. 🤣🤦🏾‍♀️
On the 13th May last year my 18 year old brother died in a car accident on his way back from a school event. It was an abrupt death, and was really hard on my family and me. Now, my little brother and I were extremely close, so his death is still something I grieve a lot, and I think I still bleed onto others when I am overwhelmed with emotion. A few days ago marked the 1 year anniversary of his death, and I was not in a good place at all. That night I called this guy, and he told me he was getting some work done that he needed to submit for something. In that moment and for the first time, I was really not trying to be this understanding woman for him. I needed a space to just be an emotional mess and have him listen to me. I needed comfort from him. I also just missed him; I missed him just being there for me. Maybe this was a bad idea, bc he has mentioned a little while ago that he has been failing empty and drained. 🤦🏾‍♀️
Anyway, I started bleeding onto him, was crying on the phone and talking about my brother (whom I've only really talked about with him). Now, he is the problem-solving type, so his first instinct was to advise me on how to deal with that day, I guess. Usually, I find this to be quite endearing. He always wants to show up for the people he cares about, and wants to be helpful. However, in that moment, I didn't need him to be that. I just needed him to be there for me, in a safe and comforting silence. I snapped at him, asking him not to be an advisor for once bc that's not what I needed. I could hear the pained surprise on the other end of the phone, paused, and then apologised for the way that I snapped. I continued with my rant and mid-talk, he just asked if we could talk the following day. I was taken aback by the way he wanted to conclude the conversation where I was emotionally charged and in a state of grief. It upset me so much, I dropped the call without a proper goodbye.
I spent the following day thinking about this, validating him and then validating myself over him.
He called me later that evening, wanting us to talk about what happened on the call. I was expecting him to apologise for wanting to end the call in a moment where I just needed him to be there for him. To my surprise he called to actually call me out for snapping at him and then dropping the call on him. This kick-started an argument (which is quite rare for us bc within the 9 months of us talking, this was our second argument) between us, where I guess we were both feeling unheard. At every attempt of mine to try and explain where my reaction was coming from, he would get frustrated and cut me off... he did it so often to where I was starting to wonder if he just called me to fight or there was something deeper going on with him.
Anyway, what REALLY got me in that argument was that at some point I called him out for not letting me finish my sentences. He kept intercepting while I was trying to make a point, which was crazy to me. At some point, I had to remind him that I have ADHD, so maybe I can be long-winded, but I need him to bear with me as I make my point. Well, I tried, but before I could even finish that sentence, he sighed in frustration, and exclaimed, "Jesus! This is not about your ADHD! Now we're back to your ADHD!"
I was shocked. Partly bc had he allowed me to finish that sentence, he might have gotten to hear the part where I was merely trying to remind him so that he can listen and understand me better. Not to deflect from his grievance with me. 🤦🏾‍♀️
Mostly tho, was bc I was NOT expecting that from HIM. It suddenly triggered me to my experiences in the past with people conveniently ignoring the fact that I live with ADHD, ignoring how very real my experience with it is, and how I quite literally cannot help the way my brain works. I feel like that was the most ableist thing I have ever heard coming from his mouth, and it really rocked me.
I can fully own that I was not right to snap at him, nor was I right to drop the call like that. I have apologised for this. It was the first thing I did. It's just so tricky bc my responses were triggered by his reaction to me in that moment. I was at an emotional low and maybe this is a bit entitled of me, but I was really hoping for a little more grace considering what I was so emotional about. 😔 AITA? Am I not doing enough work to manage my ADHD so that it is not causing conflict in my relationships and how I navigate them?
Please be kind. I've really fallen for this man, and want to make things right.

Instinctive/instrinsic masking
DAE feel like your mask is instinctual/intrinsic rather than a society-forced on you thing? Idk if that’s just a PDA thing? I’m pretty sure I have an internal pda profile and one of the things Sally cat mentions when talking about it, is that it seems like the mask we wear is kinda just with us from birth. It makes a lot of sense for me, along with being the eldest only daughter of four boys (I’m in the middle)- I feel like I learned from a young age “it doesn’t matter how you feel just fix it.” And also “if you let any feelings out people will see” and being vulnerable is basically a death sentence.
But I think it comes down to fight or flight. As I was writing this out before I kinda realized that bc my fear response is usually to freeze and fawn which comes off as people pleasing, but it’s not really it’s ALWAYS self-preservation. So I feel it would make sense for especially internalized PDAers bc vulnerability feels like a threat to my autonomy bc I feel like it’s changing peoples carefully constructed perception of me and also it’s private I don’t want to be perceived like that !! If I’m not at home I generally cannot just shut down. Even if I feel like I have no words- my little Freeze and Fawn brain will force some out anyways and it never feels like my words. I went to Disney with a friend last year and by the end of the day we were both overstimulated and overwhelmed, we stood in the middle of the side walk bc I didn’t know where to go for fireworks as I’ve only been once as an adult and we didn’t stay. She was just shut down so I had to of course figure it out. But I was exhausted and overwhelmed too and I would have loved to shut down. Instead I just had a meltdown when I got back to my room, ofc 😜
But I feel like any time something like this happens- my mask just kicks in. It’s useful but exhausting and frustrating bc I feel like people don’t take me as seriously bc I’m usually “fine” but I just don’t know how to be anything but fine. Genuinely if I feel unsafe or threatened or like my autonomy/vulnerability is on the line- my nervous system gets triggered and I think that’s why it feels like my mask is instinctive- bc it’s really a fear response that kicks into high gear so no one ever thinks anything is wrong and god forbid asks me if I’m ok. Anyone else? I obviously can’t say for certain but it makes a lot of sense I think

So, my boyfriend and I have been together for soon 2 years. The first year was great, but in the second year I went through an abortion that was really killing my sex drive. I felt pressured to have sex with him around 2 weeks after the abortion, and I cried afterwards. After this, it has been such a downward spiral of our sex life. I am in the middle of writing my master's thesis, and struggle to find a job for after the studies. I don't have a lot of savings so the whole situation is very stressful for me. My family lives in another country and I don't know if I will be able to pay rent the coming month. My boyfriend keeps saying that we have not had enough sex in the last since months (since after the abortion) and I have tried to tell him again and again that I am too stressed out, and him begging and begging me for sex have completely turned me off. He keeps saying that he needs sex to feel loved and that I just have a low sex drive, he don't think it will be better when I start to feel better and says that he can't take it anymore. The thing is he has said that this has happened before with other exe's of his, and I have tried to tell him that this is maybe because he pressures people too much about sex. It feels like he is confident that he just have not found the right woman with the right sex drive. I hear this a lot from men, complaining about their long-term girlfriend that don't have a lot of sex with them. It really feels like my boyfriend wants to have sex 4+ times per week to feel happy, and expects this no matter how long you have been together and how stressful life can be. And I just wonder, do you think he will ever find this? To the men who have complained and broken up with girlfriends because of low sex drive, did you ever find this woman that after 2+ years and through every situation, still manages to pleasure you multiple times a week every year? I am genuinely curious.
TLDR; My boyfriend wants to break up with me because he thinks I have too low sex drive, and I wonder if you think he will ever find what he is looking for: a woman with a high sexdrive every week of every year no matter what stressful life events she is going through?

https://legalesedecoder.com/watch-using-ai-legalese-decoder-to-assist-jenny-after-accusations-against-ricardo-in-js-middle-school/?utm_source=SocialAutoPoster

AITA? Hey y'all. First time poster here. 😅 This is a REALLY LONG one...
TW: d34th (grief), DV
How do I (28F) not make ADHD my entire personality? 😫 I am unmedicated (unemployed and medication is not something I can afford rn), and find it extremely difficult not to let my neurodivergence permeate throughout my entire life and affect my relationships. I really try my best, but it's an uphill battle when it affects how I communicate, relate with others, and self-regulate the RSD. I also have an anxious attachment style due to childhood trauma and history of domestic abuse in a previous relationship, so there's that. 😔 One of the most challenging things about being a neurodivergent living in a predominantly neurotypical world is the lack of education on it and lack of empathy and compassion for people on the spectrum. Not trying to be a victim here, this is just my experience.
Some of the things I battle with:

• executive dysfunction
• oversharing and dealing with shame thereafter
• being long-winded (taking forever to get to the point bc I add too much context in the hopes of being understood, bc honestly, I always feel misunderstood)
• feeling things super intensely and struggling to manage my emotions
• memory loss (this predisposes me to gaslighting where I could be gaslit or even be the gaslighter)

So I've been talking to this guy (28M) via Facebook messenger and mostly Whatsapp for about 9 months now. We're long distance (living in different provinces - I'm in South Africa btw), and both have so much going on in our lives, that it's simply not practical to be official bc 1. I'm unemployed and have so much trauma and internal work to get through, while he is trying to build a successful business that is still quite a baby (less than 5 years old) and 2. We just want to be realistic about the chances of a LDR being successful. So right now, we're in a talking stage.
Now this guy has been all green flags since we started talking. Attentive, kind, funny without being mean, God-fearing (I respect all beliefs, even the lack thereof so this is not a jab at anyone who isn't. It's simply a green flag for ME as we are aligned in that way), family oriented, and honestly he is just always really nice and reassuring to me, even in moments where I have done something to upset him. That stood out to me bc he does not withold intimacy when we have conflict. He also has a genuine curiosity about how my ADHD affects me, and has always shown compassion to me about it. This is really important bc I've never experienced this with ANY man I have dealt with. I usually look for love in men who get irritated by this, I have been told that I use my ADHD as an excuse in some arguments with an ex, been shamed for the executive dysfunction and long-windedness, have had boundaries crossed regarding my physical sensitivity to certain touch bc I guess ADHD doesn't seem like a real thing to certain people?
Anyway, he's been going through a lot mentally and emotionally, his business has been taking a lot of knocks, funding and budget issues etc. He lives on a farm (hates city life lol) which he finds to be more peaceful to him, however, he's been in the city for about 3 months now due to work setbacks. It's affected his mental health quite negatively, and I often feel pained by this. I often feel helpless bc I can't solve his problems, and he just becomes aloof and buries his head in work. I can completely understand this, bc his business is his baby, and he's dedicated about 4 years into making it a success, forfeiting a social life completely, and that includes dating. He is extremely self-sufficient and unlike me, he is able to compartmentalize his life and readjust his priorities to make space for his career needs. He has no problem making difficult choices for long-term rewards. Now mix that with his own childhood trauma that has created abandonment issues with him. 🤦🏾‍♀️ He is of the sad opinion that everyone leaves, and it's always just a matter of time.
This is a problem, bc I also battle RSD, so when I feel his aloofness, it feels like he's so distant. This makes me feel unsafe in being vulnerable. I withdraw completely and start fighting feelings of being unwanted and neglected. It's a really difficult one bc I don't want to play in to his abandonment issues, and I also want to give him grace bc he hasn't really dealt with a woman romantically in YEARS. He has communicated this with me, so I try to keep it in mind, even tho I have to fight my own head sometimes. 😅🤦🏾‍♀️ But how do I get over these feelings? How do I communicate this with him when he has warned me over and over about what's happening in his life? It seems that his challenges are challenging both of us, and I'm honestly just scared of losing him.
Thought I was done? Lol, sorry, but no. My long-winded behind is only just about to get to the main point of this post. 🤣🤦🏾‍♀️
On the 13th May last year my 18 year old brother died in a car accident on his way back from a school event. It was an abrupt death, and was really hard on my family and me. Now, my little brother and I were extremely close, so his death is still something I grieve a lot, and I think I still bleed onto others when I am overwhelmed with emotion. A few days ago marked the 1 year anniversary of his death, and I was not in a good place at all. That night I called this guy, and he told me he was getting some work done that he needed to submit for something. In that moment and for the first time, I was really not trying to be this understanding woman for him. I needed a space to just be an emotional mess and have him listen to me. I needed comfort from him. I also just missed him; I missed him just being there for me. Maybe this was a bad idea, bc he has mentioned a little while ago that he has been failing empty and drained. 🤦🏾‍♀️
Anyway, I started bleeding onto him, was crying on the phone and talking about my brother (whom I've only really talked about with him). Now, he is the problem-solving type, so his first instinct was to advise me on how to deal with that day, I guess. Usually, I find this to be quite endearing. He always wants to show up for the people he cares about, and wants to be helpful. However, in that moment, I didn't need him to be that. I just needed him to be there for me, in a safe and comforting silence. I snapped at him, asking him not to be an advisor for once bc that's not what I needed. I could hear the pained surprise on the other end of the phone, paused, and then apologised for the way that I snapped. I continued with my rant and mid-talk, he just asked if we could talk the following day. I was taken aback by the way he wanted to conclude the conversation where I was emotionally charged and in a state of grief. It upset me so much, I dropped the call without a proper goodbye.
I spent the following day thinking about this, validating him and then validating myself over him.
He called me later that evening, wanting us to talk about what happened on the call. I was expecting him to apologise for wanting to end the call in a moment where I just needed him to be there for him. To my surprise he called to actually call me out for snapping at him and then dropping the call on him. This kick-started an argument (which is quite rare for us bc within the 9 months of us talking, this was our second argument) between us, where I guess we were both feeling unheard. At every attempt of mine to try and explain where my reaction was coming from, he would get frustrated and cut me off... he did it so often to where I was starting to wonder if he just called me to fight or there was something deeper going on with him.
Anyway, what REALLY got me in that argument was that at some point I called him out for not letting me finish my sentences. He kept intercepting while I was trying to make a point, which was crazy to me. At some point, I had to remind him that I have ADHD, so maybe I can be long-winded, but I need him to bear with me as I make my point. Well, I tried, but before I could even finish that sentence, he sighed in frustration, and exclaimed, "Jesus! This is not about your ADHD! Now we're back to your ADHD!"
I was shocked. Partly bc had he allowed me to finish that sentence, he might have gotten to hear the part where I was merely trying to remind him so that he can listen and understand me better. Not to deflect from his grievance with me. 🤦🏾‍♀️
Mostly tho, was bc I was NOT expecting that from HIM. It suddenly triggered me to my experiences in the past with people conveniently ignoring the fact that I live with ADHD, ignoring how very real my experience with it is, and how I quite literally cannot help the way my brain works. I feel like that was the most ableist thing I have ever heard coming from his mouth, and it really rocked me.
I can fully own that I was not right to snap at him, nor was I right to drop the call like that. I have apologised for this. It was the first thing I did. It's just so tricky bc my responses were triggered by his reaction to me in that moment. I was at an emotional low and maybe this is a bit entitled of me, but I was really hoping for a little more grace considering what I was so emotional about. 😔 AITA? Am I not doing enough work to manage my ADHD so that it is not causing conflict in my relationships and how I navigate them?
Please be kind. I've really fallen for this man, and want to make things right.

21 and never dated anyone.
Literally it’s so bad. It’s not like I’ve had flings and nothings gotten serious. There’s been like literally close to zero signs of interest from anyone. I try to think back on the few crumbs of positive attention I’ve gotten to make myself feel better but in reality I know the truth and it’s pretty bleak.
I’m genuinely so embarrassed and humiliated. I can’t even take solace in having friends. EVERY group of people I meet, the conversation of sex/dating comes up and it’s pretty obvious I’m completely inexperienced. A few times I’ve lied, I’m horrible at it. Mostly I tell the truth and it goes pretty bad but I feel better about myself not lying. But it’s impossible to feel dignified amongst friends at this point. It’s a nightmare that’s never ended. I remember being in 8th grade getting shit from my buddies because no girls liked me and thinking it’ll all be over soon. I’ll grow up taller and handsome like my dad and more confident. And here I am. If people somehow get the idea I’m a misogynistic incel type I’ll be so mad cause at this point cause I hate men so much for the perpetual dick measuring contest that seemingly goes on in every male friend group. Also it’s so brutal every time I hang out and there’s girls around. Sex and dating is all people talk about.
My parents don’t understand at all. My mom was a pretty popular blonde and my dad was a football player who literally got scouted to do modeling a few times. They just give me the most basic moronically obvious advice ever. And at this point they seem really disappointed in me for not bringing a girl home yet.
I’m genuinely super fucking ugly even after doing a shit ton to work on it. I have perpetually horrible hair. I have a huge bulbous forehead, every friend I’ve had eventually comments on it. One plastic surgeon I consulted said it could be benign familial macrocephaly? Not that I could afford a procedure anyways. I try to cover it up with a fringe but my hair looks horrible. It’s super fine and straight and lacks any texture. My “midface” is sunken also: weak cheekbones. I was diagnosed with maxillary hypoplasia and maxillary vertical hypoplasia. Basically a midface (bones between upper teeth and eyes) that didn’t grow outwards nor downwards enough resulting in poor tooth show, weak bone structure, premature aged look, and a severe underbite. I had double jaw surgery covered by insurance. It was a marginal improvement at best. My underbite was fixed, my cheekbones remained sunken because the surgery doesn’t fix that unless you pay extra for implants that often look bad anyways, and my surgeon utterly failed to bring down my upper jaw enough to reveal my teeth. Since the surgery did fix the functional problems with my face (underbite) and only failed cosmetically, I’d have to pay full price out of pocket for a revision. I’ve also worked out a lot, never got super big but I have a small frame anyways, but I’ve been quite lean and in shape with visible abs. I’ve done a shit ton skincare wise and finally at a point with minimal acne but still shitty skin overall. I’ve also tried a bunch of hair styles and have decent style I think.
I’ve been quite social. I had a ton of friend groups in high school. In college my social life has died down because of my reduced confidence but I still try. I’ve join ed 4 different clubs. I talk to people in my classes and often make a group me for each class and arrange study groups. I use to go to bars until recently. Some guy called me an ugly motherfucker and started cackling and I went home drunk and started slicing my arm. Same thing happened after I was at a party and some girl at a party literally blurted ew when she asked my group of friends to introduce ourselves and it was my turn to speak. I had a good outfit on, my hair looked it’s best, all futile I guess. I just hate myself so much since I guess I must be so disgusting somehow. So I don’t go out much recently now, due to that among other bad experiences. I’ve done the apps with horrible results. I can’t say I blame people much. I don’t think I could be attracted to someone as ugly as me and I can’t help it.
It’s so embarrassing having family ask about my dating life and I have to make up some bullshit. I’m really at my limit. I know I’m neurotic but I’ve really done the work in tons of therapy and lifestyle changes. I don’t have a disease. I feel horrible because I haven’t felt dignified amongst my peers since middle school and I haven’t been remotely close to a fulfilling relationship. I just want someone to actually care and show an interest in me and ask about my day. Someone to watch movies with and cuddle.
My academic focus has been entirely premed. I’m nearing the end of college. When I inevitably get into a med school I don’t feel like I can actually go and have my parents pay for some of it feeling that I’ll be gone soon anyways. One time in HS I got humiliated so bad I drank liquor and took Xanax to end it only to pass out. I’ve been regretting my lack of commitment ever since. If I can pull through maybe I’ll do emergency medicine with the short residency, join Doctors Without Borders and get blown up in some war zone.

For those reading, do you have any advice on whether I stand a fighting chance at the schools mentioned below? I’m hoping to apply to these schools this Fall 2024 for admission to Fall 2025. Any advice or helpful criticism is welcome and appreciated, thanks!
Demographics: - Male - Hispanic/Latino - First-Generation / URM - U.S. Citizen - Low Family Income (on external/outside full-ride scholarship for both undergrad/grad school)
Intended Programs: Ph.D. in CS - Machine Learning Focus M.S. in CS (thesis-based) - Machine Learning Focus

• MIT
• Stanford
• CMU
• Berkeley
• UCLA
• UCSD
• UCI
• UCD
• UCSC

Current University: - Top 30 CS program in the U.S.
GPA: - 3.96/4.00
GRE: - Unsure if I want to take it (some M.S programs require it)
Research Experience : 1. Undergraduate Research Assistant Machine learning role - with Professor [X] - October 2023 to Present - Possible authorship by October 2024

1. Undergraduate Research Assistant Machine learning role - with Professor [Y] - March 2024 to Present - Unsure about authorship
   
2. Undergraduate Research Assistant Machine learning role - with Professor [Z] - Starting in July 2024 - Unsure about authorship
   

LORs: 1. Professor X 2. Professor Y 3. Professor Z
It might be worth noting that both Professors Y and Z at my university received their Ph.D. and M.S. degrees from MIT (which I’m also planning on applying to for Ph.D., and possibly to the same lab they did their work in). Not sure if that’ll help in that specific application.
Other Experience: 1. Product Management Intern (Covid 2021) 2. MIT HackMIT Participant (Covid 2021) 3. MIT Blueprint Hackathon Judge (Covid 2022) 4. AI/ML club member at current university 5. ACM club member at current university 6. *Hoping to become a Teaching Assistant in Fall 2024 7. *Hoping to take graduate level classes in Fall 2024

Ok so this has been bugging me for a while and I finally feel like I need some genuine advice so here goes nothing. Basically me and this girl have been “best friends” for about 5-6 years now. I met her in middle school through a mutual friend and since then we had been inseparable. Like you know that duo in your school who is basically termed as “ride or die”? yea we were that. but since the past 2-3 years I have been noticing that we are not the same anymore. See we have been through NUMEROUS friend groups and somehow all of them break up and its just us two left together always. Now what the main issue here that I want to talk about has happened before too and I just want to put it out there that I have confronted her multiple times about it in the past and we have had many arguments and lengthy discussions about it.
So basically I feel like she just doesn’t see me as her best friend anymore. Like you know how your best friend is the first person whom you tell everything about pr ask for advice, we dont have that anymore.
And i dont want to sound controlling or anything its just that I miss her. Not sure if that makes me a selfish person but just want to put that out there
And also I often see that whenever we’re in a group she starts to ignore me like idk she purposely does it or what but yeah like she’ll be more inclined towards talking to others than me and when we’re alone shes like normal
I have confronted her about this multiple times and even like 2 weeks ago because we got into an argument but she never really understands and its getting on my fucking nerves because instead she will have the audacity to victimise herself and start talking about her problems and shit like bro?
I hate that this is happening between us because i feel the closest with her. She knows my deepest secrets and i know hers but idk what to do in a situation like this.
like if I want to give an example, I would say that there was a time when we used to be on calls and we would have so much fun. We would just be talking freely about anything and everything, but now if I ever try to call her she does not pick up and then she’ll call me back like 2-3 hours later and will proceed to make up excuses about being busy and this and that like I do get it that you can be busy with your own life, but how is it that every time I try to call you are unavailable? AND BTW its apparently just with me because otherwise she’s always on calls with our other friends and posting about it. and now whenever she calls me she has some favour to ask from me and stuff like damn.
Im just over the situation and i really dont know what to do. I wanna repair our friendship but whenever I see she has 0 interest in doing that im like whatever. Anyways this is our last year in school so doesn’t matter we will most likely lose our connection so just treating this like practice now but still feels so strange.

I was thinking recently about the pure blood prejudice towards muggle borns recently and I just wanted to share some of my thoughts on why I think that prejudice exists and if anyone wants to input their thoughts also. Before I go on I just want to say I in no way condone the pure blood supremacy belief.
So let's start at the beginning at the oldest pure blood supremacist known in the series, Salazar Slytherin. We all know Hogwarts was built by Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw and of course Salazar Slytherin to give magical children and community a place of safety and a place of education. It is estimated that Hogwarts was built in the middle ages at the very latest and that's when muggles started persecuting witches and wizards.
My belief is because of muggles persecuting witches and wizards it lead to some fear within the magical community and since Muggle born and half blood wizards and witches do have familial links to muggles there was an issue of trust that mb and Hb would expose them and Hogwarts to the muggles.
I don't believe that Slytherin hated MB and HB he just didn't trust them because of their affinity to muggles and saw them as threats to the magical community. Unfortunately years of misinformation after he left the school spread which lead to full on pure blood supremacy in the magical community. It all began with fear of the muggles wiping their community out and then because of how close MB and HB were to muggles and possibly outing them and the magical community turned into prejudice and eventually turned into pure blood supremacy. I don't think Slytherin built the CoS with the Basilisk to vanquish the school of Muggle borns but to protect his students and the school if muggles found the school or if the school needed extra protection from being outed by them. It's an understandable fear to have considering at the time muggles were killing heaps of witches and wizards it just got out of hand over time.
Again I'm not defending pure blood supremacy but that's why I think it got so bad by the time of Voldemort. Anyway let me know what you think, sorry if my thoughts don't make much sense lol

DAE feel like your mask is instinctual/intrinsic rather than a society-forced on you thing? Idk if that’s just a PDA thing? I’m pretty sure I have an internal pda profile and one of the things Sally cat mentions when talking about it, is that it seems like the mask we wear is kinda just with us from birth. It makes a lot of sense for me, along with being the eldest only daughter of four boys (I’m in the middle)- I feel like I learned from a young age “it doesn’t matter how you feel just fix it.” And also “if you let any feelings out people will see” and being vulnerable is basically a death sentence.
But I think it comes down to fight or flight. As I was writing this out before I kinda realized that bc my fear response is usually to freeze and fawn which comes off as people pleasing, but it’s not really it’s ALWAYS self-preservation. So I feel it would make sense for especially internalized PDAers bc vulnerability feels like a threat to my autonomy bc I feel like it’s changing peoples carefully constructed perception of me and also it’s private I don’t want to be perceived like that !! If I’m not at home I generally cannot just shut down. Even if I feel like I have no words- my little Freeze and Fawn brain will force some out anyways and it never feels like my words. I went to Disney with a friend last year and by the end of the day we were both overstimulated and overwhelmed, we stood in the middle of the side walk bc I didn’t know where to go for fireworks as I’ve only been once as an adult and we didn’t stay. She was just shut down so I had to of course figure it out. But I was exhausted and overwhelmed too and I would have loved to shut down. Instead I just had a meltdown when I got back to my room, ofc 😜
But I feel like any time something like this happens- my mask just kicks in. It’s useful but exhausting and frustrating bc I feel like people don’t take me as seriously bc I’m usually “fine” but I just don’t know how to be anything but fine. Genuinely if I feel unsafe or threatened or like my autonomy/vulnerability is on the line- my nervous system gets triggered and I think that’s why it feels like my mask is instinctive- bc it’s really a fear response that kicks into high gear so no one ever thinks anything is wrong and god forbid asks me if I’m ok. Anyone else? I obviously can’t say for certain but it makes a lot of sense I think

It's hard to describe, but sometimes I like to get a little experimental with my writing. Here's some examples:

• Beginning the story in past tense, then switching to present tense to indicate a time skip
• Ending a paragraph in the middle of a sentence to indicate that the next paragraph happens suddenly
• Writing a daydream/imagination sequence entirely in subjunctive (e.g. "He would soar above the clouds, and land on that mountain; there, she​'d embrace him.")
• Especially short paragraphs, sometimes one word, for emphasis
• '⁓' and '♡' as specialized, overly affectionate punctuation

What tricks have you used in your writing?

Let me start with the summary version:
It all began when I first stumbled upon Inside Edition's videos of women - that's WOMEN getting slammed, insulted, and blasted for "showing too much of their body (with kids around)". Then it escalates further when they show a school is photoshopping out women's cleavages to make them look "modest" for their yearbook. I feel this type of treatment towards the female human is all wrong! Like, can't anybody learn to appreciate and look at the female body without censoring it in any way? Can't you let ANYBODY, including kids, get a chance to learn about the differences between the male and female human bodies????
Then comes along... you guessed it. That one video Inside Edition publishes. And after seeing her top blurred, my inner voice in my head: "That's the last straw!" Like, can't some of us get a chance to learn something new that just aroused our curiosity? Such as how the human body changes with time in terms of both genders? Like, now, I can finally visualize myself (my whole body) from little boy to fully grown man. But when Inside Edition published that footage, the new question that took me by storm is: what would a female look like from little girl to fully grown woman?
But with YouTube's broken comment system GHOSTING certain-to-random comments, even on my backup YouTube account, I can't seem to get ANY messages across!
Speaking of which, when I tried to post this on Feminism and AskFeminists, they BOTH perma-banned me for NO REASON and muted me from talking to their mods for 28 days!
Why do I say "no reason"?
"Hello, You have been permanently banned from participating in this subreddit because your post violates this community's rules. You won't be able to post or comment, but you can still view and subscribe to it.
If you have a question regarding your ban, you can contact the moderator team by replying to this message.
Reminder from the Reddit staff: If you use another account to circumvent this subreddit ban, that will be considered a violation of the Content Policy and can result in your account being suspended from the site as a whole."
As you can see, there is no specific reason listed in the message above. So this is why I claim or what I mean by "banned from a sub for 'no reason'. - Even for something that was never officially listed on that sub's rule board.
Once more, I, along with these parents of their own daughter proved one major point: if a male can go topless/show their body, then so can a female - regardless of age!
Can't I get a chance to learn something new? Some evolution/development processes for certain things can be a little more complicated then you originally first thought.
Now here's the detailed version:
Ok, before you start reading below, I want you to visit this and read the whole article to better understand my situation: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/kitchener-waterloo/guelph-parents-angry-after-topless-girl-8-told-to-cover-up-1.3124762
I got banned from Lemmy social site servers for "CSAM" all because of this: the Napalm Girl pic and another thing I saw on Inside Edition's channel in addition to some nude statues - literally artwork of naked people - all because I was trying to protest ~the inconsistencies of censorship towards the female human~ - regardless of their race AND age!
Let me be clear on one thing: I didn't post any "CSAM" on the Lemmy servers! I'm protesting something that I feel is unfair towards the female human.
Please ~actually watch these before jumping to conclusions~ so you can actually understand what I’m really protesting!
Women Who Were Told Their Outfits Were ‘Too Revealing’
Mom Says She Was Kicked Out of Gym For Revealing Tank Top: I Felt Humiliated
Cops Dragged Woman Off Beach After Complaint About Her Bikini
It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit or body is “too revealing”,
Teens React After Yearbook Photos Are ‘Modesty Edited’
it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look “modest” for a yearbook or a portrait!
9-Year-Old Saves Family From House Fire
But censoring a topless preteen girl who thought up an ingenious strategy to stay cool like her friends in the same stuffy room while at the same time not caring who’s around her? THAT’S REALLY CROSSING THE LINE!
It's all thanks to some videos from Inside Edition's YouTube Channel.All these videos Inside Edition posted are developing a question in my mind that's getting the better of me: why so much hate on the female human - even as children? Like, why do they censor the little girl's chest? Can't anybody learn to appreciate the appearance of the female body? Just like those parents of their own 8 year old daughter, I too am genuinely outraged by this type of treatment towards the female human!
And what's the big deal with nipples? I'm just trying to ensure everyone is treated equally regardless of race, and gender... AND age (after what I just witnessed). And if no one's gonna speak up about this, I might as well step up to the plate. After all, somebody's got to do it!
That little girl in the final video made two non-verbal messages clear: one: if a boy can do it, then so can a girl! And two: no one is too young for anything! As long as you have the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to do it properly and safely, you'll be fine. I was able to refuel my dad's car and cook my own dinner when I was 6 and without setting anything ablaze by accident.
However, when I try to illustrate with that video, even though Inside Edition is an official news channel, the responses I get back are rather bitter! They remove my post or ban me from the sites I post on for "promoting nudity involving a minor"!
~WHERE~
~CAN~
~I~
~ASK~
~OR~
~SHARE~
~THIS~
~SUBJECT?!~
Due to my autism, I only know basic English. So I need to illustrate to get most of my messages through. I thought hard, I tried, and low and behold, they were removed hours later mainly because they "didn't fit the subject of the forum". Even though my multi-subject based thread does have some material relating to this forum's topic. These sites and mods are all really stretching my problem solving skills beyond the breaking point for this one. I'm merely protesting with these pictures and videos as illustration. I'm not that good with words, so I need pictures to get half my messages across as noted above.
Many subreddits or forum sites don’t accept URLs, pictures, specific website URLs, or even a combination! Thereby hindering my ability to fully explain what I’m witnessing! In this case, the sentences “It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit is ‘too revealing’, it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look ‘modest’ for a yearbook.” actually corresponded to several videos I beared witness to on Inside Edition’s YouTube channel.
I actually tried to post that URL with that blurred 9yo girl in a subreddit in the past and you won’t believe this: I actually lost my reddit account for 2 days for “promoting nudity involving a minor”! Other sites like the adult video forums who accept uncensored nudity-based images I mentioned just delete my thread! Another site I recall banned me for 1 year for “spam” - even though I only made this protest post twice (after they removed it once).
So that meant I had to approach this from a different angle: after that experience, I got a little paranoid from using that said video URL to illustrate. So I tried explaining this protest without the URLs - and this is in conjunction with certain sites restricting my ability to post images, URLs, certain site URLs, or a combination. It seemed to end up making things worse! Because without the visual evidence, it makes it much harder to fully explain what I’m witnessing.
So without the URLs included - that visual illustration, on the sites I tried along with Lemmy World, it actually made things worse! That’s what lead Lemmy.World mods to ban me for life for “CSAM” or made other people think I watched child porn when I clearly didn’t. The lack of visual evidence (due to my past reddit experience combined with the site’s posting restrictions) is what lead to this “pedophile” confusion. So please help me talk some sense into the Lemmings world, Lemmy.ml, and Lemmy.world mods that this was all a major misunderstanding and Lemmy is pretty much the only reddit alternative out here where I can try asking another question. My attempt to appeal has failed on 3 Lemmy social sites - even after I tried notifying the mods on the third Lemmy server site before making the post, so I need your help now!
I felt after Inside Edition uploaded that blurred 9yo girl video… I thought to myself “That’s the last straw!” Someone needs to protest these absurd censorship laws that they apply to the female human!
Why can males show most of their body but females can’t? - In most cases that is? Whatever happened to "Free The Nipple"?
Children should have the same… rights to do things as any adult! It’s about possessing the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to safely execute this action. E.G, on those “Family Day” episodes of The Price is Right and Let’s Make a Deal; those kids made smart choices when picking the correct numbers to items to win a prize.
I’m not joking around here! This type of treatment towards the female human needs to stop - this includes race and age. - It’s like racist people, but in age form.
Does it look like I’m laughing for fun? Of course not! Since no one else is protesting this, and YouTube has a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post on even random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I have to take more drastic measures to protest by stepping up to the plate and shouting out “Can’t we all be equal in terms of a huge variety of traits?” Yeah, the last thing I need is a vein-bleeding broken-record robot impeding or hindering my ability to seek answers to a question!
We need to learn to appreciate or accept how the female body appears regardless of race and age!
Stop trying to blame it all on me! None of the stuff in the vids posted, is that. If it was, Inside Edition would be the guilty party, and Youtube for not having already deleted them. If it doesn’t violate Youtube’s TOS, it should be fine to post anywhere. If there was even a hint of impropriety to it, at the minimum the vid would have been age restricted.
No one would answer! Not even Inside Edition themselves were willing to offer an answer when I even found their email address, the sites dedicated to helping those in mental, suicidal, or emotional distress (those forum sites even PERMA-banned me for "spam" - that's right, SPAM! (Even though there was absolutely no mention of a permanent ban or rule about "spam" in their forum guidelines!) Is that the definition of "spam" when I make a bad thread only once?! And when I try to appeal the ban, the same message "please contact the administrator if it was done in error" is blocking my ability to click the contact button! Or sometimes it's a blank white page with that message in the top left corner of the window! - Which adds more insult to injury, because I can't click anything as all the buttons have disappeared! That means I can't log out of that site either!), OR the adult video forums that support uncensored nudity images would accept that video link URL let alone the entire topic itself! So I really am at a loss for thoughts and words on what I just experienced! Heck, I even tried the professional therapists of talkingforchange.ca But even they too were too reluctant to talk as they claim my post regarding the censorship of women is not for their platform and they disconnected the chat 2 seconds after their last reply to me. And I highly doubt that ANY site will allow me to illustrate with a picture of the Napalm Girl (Phan Thi Kim Phuc) when she was 9, certain pictures of Pampers diaper boxes (why do you think they (Pampers, Huggies, etc.) even allow a pic of a topless little boy or girl to be plastered on a diaper box we see in grocery stores/supermarkets everyday?), Leela when she was an infant in the episode Leela's Homeworld, or even Belgium's famous kids: Manneken Pis/Jeanneke Pis. That, combined with YouTube having a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post comments on certain-to-random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I'm forced to take more drastic measures to get my messages across. All this combined, ~I'VE NEVER FELT SO SHUNNED FROM THE INTERNET IN ALL MY LIFE!~
But here's a strange catch: sometimes on some sites, Napalm Girl is censored, other sites she isn't. So I felt that I need to protest this. It seems everyone is too chicken to even start this subject! Don't these numbskulls know not to judge a book by it's cover?! This is where I ask myself "NOW WHAT?!". This can't be one of those "exceptional" cases where they say "suicide never solves anything" doesn't apply to these types of situations. In other words, all hope for resolving these types of situations really is lost. I really do feel left in the dark on both the subject of sound effects and nudity!
Once more, I'm not being a ped, I'm protesting all these absurd censorship rules and regulations that revolve around the female human - regardless of race and age - after what Inside Edition posted. Watch the videos I found again for clarification. In other words, ~the inconsistencies of female human censorship~.
Can you really - you know, hurl insults at Inside Edition or blast them for what they did? It was their idea to publicly publish the footage. Just like how that one photographer made the choice to publicly publish footage of the Napalm Girl when she was 9 and completely nude. Therefore, it should be ok to share this footage anywhere.
But some areas censored Napalm Girl's nipples, but others did not - excluding her groin. Then there's the diaper boxes I found in any supermarket. And finally... Surprise surprise: typical women being scolded by other people for wearing something "inappropriate" or "showing too much of their body". I look around and since no one else is protesting about this, I might as well do it! After all, someone's gotta step up to the plate to hit that ball! I will not sit idling by the sidelines and continue to watch the female human get treated/censored like this! I will stand up, step up, and speak out towards these absurd reactions, rules, and regulations that revolve around the appearance and censorship of the female body! What about the famous Jeanneke Pis in Belgium? Do you think she along with other nude statues are trying to promote pedophilia?

I S Hi I’m new to this reddit thing so sorry if I make any mistakes.Basically this all happened a few months ago me(f 16) and my friend(f 14) I’ll call her meep we’re having a sleepover,she was on her phone most of the time which I didn’t think to much of when she then said to me hey can a few of our other friends(both f 14) come which I said sure because we where all friends now when they first came we did basic things girls do at sleepovers like doing eachother a hair and stuff until one of my friends takes something out of her bag I didn’t really cat eat first thinking it was something like clothes or make up until I get a good look at it and realised she had bull a bottle of beer out.Meep seeing this was like omg you actually managed to get it in your bag with my other friend I’ll cal her Lew said ya and bragged about how easy it was at first I wasn’t to keen on it since it being in my house but out of pressure drank it.A while later me and my friends start planning the day ahead of us now jump to the next day me and my friends start walking which all of them weren’t to keen on since it was a 1 and a half hour walk but sucked it up to our town (btw we live in a small town in a small country) anyway we where walking to a park originally but we all got hungry so we walked to supermarket but my friend (I’ll call this one royal)went to her house to pick up stuff and a bit later lew had to get something so it was just me and meep just sitting around eating on a platform when royal came back us three we’re walking around when we saw royals boyfriend(m 14) and his older brother(m 19) royal then started running after them yelling out to them and so then a bit later royal was flirting with her bf and me meep and the brother were just sitting around then we finally meet up with lew we then decided to go to the park together which ended badly in a fight where police where called but that’s not important anyway a bit later my friend called her bf and made sure he was ok and he said why don’t we try hanging out again tomorrow w which she without asking said yes so now me and my other friends had to go out again without being asked if it was ok with us but we also didn’t really care since most of us did wanna get out of the house so another jump to the next day me and my friends meet up with them we did give to walk to their houses bc they needed to get ready but after that we had a bit of fun the bf claimed a roof followed by royal lew and meep who tried but chickened out they told me to clime up but I said hell no I ain’t stupid they also tried getting the brother to but he told them to piss of he then sat of a rubbish bin which o tried to as-well but couldn’t jump high enough until he showed me how.Once we where done we went to the park well except for meep royal and her bf who went to her house to pick up something so me lew and the brother where on our way to the park when we got there we sat in this tunnel looking thing and just started talking to each other me and lew where sitting next to each other when he decided to sit in the middle of us which I thought was weird at the time but said nothing bc I didn’t wanna try make it weird bc again he was 19 but anyway my friends came back and we sat in this tree house looking thing I was mostly sitting with lew when hake moved away for a bit and then the brother sat down next to me I though it was weird bc there was room other places then he put his hand around my shoulder I looked up and royal was just winking at him and me I tried to signal to her that I was uncomfortable but she was still acting like it was nothing I then signalled to meep and unlike royal got the hint right away and thankfully said Alr guys let’s go it’s getting late and said we had to go I then got up and walked with meep royal complaining about leaving said fine and asked them to walk us home which they agreed until after a bit lew told them to go bc she didn’t want them knowing where I lived which I was really thankful for after that royal and her bf kissed goodbye and left which I was gonna do until I felt someone behind me grab my waist and kissed my cheek and gave me paper with his Snapchat I was gonna throw it in a puddle when lew asked what was in my hand so I explained what it was and she said oh how cute and asked if I was gonna add him dis it’s wanting to say no and wanting to tell her what happened I honestly can’t explain it but I just couldn’t but I have her the paper which she added him and made a gc with me him her and royal which was then when they made plans to sneak out with them and go on a night walk they asked me and meep to come which meep said no bc she thought the brother was a creep and I tried to say no but once again with pure pressure said yes royal and lew where to busy getting ready to even thing about meep in which I said hey why don’t I just stay here with meep and keep her company which they laughed and said cmon let’s go,it was 10:30 at night when we snuck out them excited to see them and me paranoid on my mum getting mad about me disappearing when we meet up with them me lew and the brother walking ahead I was holding hands with lew originally but the brother grabbed my hand and so we where all just walking I was ok with it but the thing that threw me off was what royal was saying she was just making very sexual jokes about me and this 19 yr old man which I was uncomfortable with but was to shy to say anything about once we got to the place which was under a bridge we just sat down and talked about stuff lew then went some place else which was then followed by royal and the bf I tried running off but royal told me to stay back so I did now it was just me and the bf brother idk why I didn’t think this would happen but he sat really close to me and that’s when he did it at first he just grabbed my face made out with me which I tried to say no or stop but I was to scared to say thing and then he just started touching me places and I tried with all my might to get him to stop but couldn’t then I heard yells from royal saying she couldn’t find lew me using this as a reason to get away yelled I’ll look for her and tan off I wasn’t actually looking for her though I was on a bathroom trying with all my might to not let out any tears which was really hard then I heard yells so I looked out and realised it was meep who had secretly been following us so I used her as a opportunity to get away and then said hey you guys look for her I’ll leave with meep signalling to her I wanna leave which again she understood and acted tired and said ya I wanna go now so we did which I then turned around and saw the brother just following us I let him follow us idk why but once we where around the block I said to him my house was close and he could go which I waited until he had actually left to start walking home and obviously I wasn’t near my house there was still a twenty minute walk which I just started braking down my friend was just hugging me and said it’s ok and saying what did he do to you which say I don’t know why but I just couldn’t say anything once got home I threw up I could still feel him everywhere in my mouth on my thighs and on my waist and other places I wanted scream all I could think about was how I was such a slut and couldn’t even say anything or stop it I wanted to die I wanted just anything to get the memory and taste out of me I then started telling my self about how worthless I was and how I my mother really did raise a stupid and pathetic person after a bit I fell asleep with my dog next to me (he’s a American bully)so I thought that I could at least have some sort of protection after a bit my friends came back and fell asleep I knew this bc they really don’t come back some quiet and woke me up now this was the last day they where at my house so they all went back to their houses and i really do wish I I could say this was the end I really really do but sadly this was not after going back to school and acting as if everything was fine and nothing was wrong I realised that royal and lew haven’t been to school for a while and the next day lew came to school and I found out that sadly the brother 🍇ed her when I found this out I feel apart I was sick shocked and just didn’t know what to do my friends told her to tell our health teacher she’s the teacher who deals with situations like this so she did the teacher said she could miss a few classes and stay in there with me and meep that was when I told them what happened to me they where both mortified that was then when lew reveille the brother wanted to grape me aswell and even told her he was gonna and how he would ask to hang out and to it at the same place he did to her I was honestly shocked and paralysed with fear remembering how he actually asked to hang out a the other day anyway I then asked her what she wanted to do bc our teacher suggested telling the cops tbh I really didn’t want to bc I was trying to keep this whole thing away from my mum but knew I had to so I walked to the police station with a few other friends and told them everything after that I knew I had to drop royal she literally let everything happen even with lew I’ll explain later with lew but we dropped her now obviously that east’s she was just making up excuses and even said that the brother was forcing her to say and do things and then started yapping about how he forced her to do those things but I saw right threw her lies so did keep but idk why but lew actually believed her until she also finally saw right threw her lies oh also brother actually has a gf who is his age ik real shocked expected her to be 8 anyway recently the cops did find him and I’ve got a meeting with one of them oh another big thing turns out we ARNT the first people he’s sa wanna know the first person he did? Get ready 🥁🥁his fucking brother ya that’s right he literally graped his brother and it gets worse he did it when the boyfriend was fucking 8 anyway I might not update for I bit but I promise there will be one

I'm F(18) and a middle child. Punong puno na talaga ako sa younger sister ko, hindi ko lang mapagbuhatan ng kamay dahil ako na naman ang mapapagalitan ng parents ko. I've been supressing my emotions all this time. Palasagot siya kahit kanino, mapa-parents namin or sa amin ng ate ko. Mala tupa naman kapag kaharap ng ibang tao. Well today, i was really busy, I'm doing work and school works. Kakatapos lang mg lunch, and i told her na magligpit na siya sa maayos na paraan and it's her schedule naman. But instead she keeps on building those small legos, tapos sabi sakin "Bakit hindi ikaw" Since mahaba pasensya ko, i tried to shrug it off. But fuck sa totoo lang, alam niyang aalis siya with my mom, kasama sana ako roon kung wala lang akong gagawin.
I was really angry when she started taking a shower without even washing the dishes. Lagi siyang nasasanay na ganon, kasi pinapaboran ng parents ko. Haha favorite eh. Tapos tumaas ako sa mom ko, sabi ko pagligpitin muna yon, kasi mahaba pa yung oras. Then she started saying "Oh sya itapon niyo nalang para walang pag-uusapan" edi sumagot ako sabi ko "Responsibility niya yon" tapos tumaas yung kapatid ko sabi niya "Pwede mamaya nalang ma?" Pero ibinigay sakin ni mama yung responsibilidad nung younger sister ko na yon. I started telling her na "hindi ko schedule ngayon so bakit sakin", tapos sabi sakin ng mom ko "Grabe na talaga yung ugali mo, di na kayo naawa sa bahay, blah blah". Haha Ayon naman talaga gustong mangyari nung kapatid ko na yon, na ako na naman gumawa ng gawain na yon.
Ang sama lang sa dibdib kasi, gagala lang naman sila eh? Haha ako andami kong gagawin sana nagawa manlang nila magligpit o di kaya eh maglinis, I'm so pressured na sa acads tapos ganiyan pa. Well my Saturday is for doing the laundry of the family so, hindi ko talaga maisisingit yung mga schoolworks and paperworks ko. Iniaasa na kasi nilang lahat sakin, hahaha di ko alam kung anak pa ba ako o katulong na eh. I have no choice, ginawa ko pa rin, haha pero iniwan ko piangkainan niya.
Ps. Please don't ever share this to any other social media platforms.

I'm 42m.
I have never had close friends and have no family. I try to think of why i turned out like this. I grew up in a middle class home. My dad made ok money but worked night shift my entire childhood, he rarely spoke to me or did things with me. My mom was a stay at home mom until i was a teenager.
I think most days my parents did not really interact with me except for essential things, so they gave me food and clothes, but doing things with them was very rare, like we went on vacations maybe 3 or 4 times during my childhood. I never learned to ride a bike or to swim. I think i learned to tie my shoes when i was 12, i taught myself. I remember that i did not learn to use the bathroom until i was 3, and that also i taught myself, i didn't understand for a long time when i was at other peoples houses or my cousins houses why they had small toilets for the babies.
I remember specific things that happened that stand out in my mind as being especially bad. There are 3 that i can think of.
When i was like 5 or so, i remember being in my room very cold. I didn't understand at the time, but later i came to understand that our house was very drafty and cold in the winter because we had wooden windows and they should have been painted about once a year, they were not maintained and so did not shut all the way were always cracked open a small amount. Also the furnace did not heat the whole house, it only heated it until the thermostat on the 1st floor reached it's preset point, so the upstairs was usualy 10 or more degrees colder. My mom didn't think that we needed blankets (my sister and me, she is about 4 years older). We had sheets on the bed and that was all. I don't remember if it was my sisters idea, i think it was, we went into the hall closet at night to get more blankets and my mom caught us and yelled at us and made us put them back. She said that the blanket i took was a wedding present and i didn't need it. Years later i remember my sister as a teenager having several arguments with my mom about a comforter that she had bought herself. When i moved out of the house i stole that same blanket that was still folded up in the closet never used. Still have it.
When i was 9 i got very sick. My mom thought i had some kind of flu. I kept throwing up. She did not take me to the doctor. She always said how dumb it was how people took their kids to the doctor all the time just because they were sick. She kept giving me ice cream because she said that was good for throwing up and keeping energy up. I was sick for i think more than a whole week, not sure if it went on for 2 or not. Still didn't take me to a doctor, i kept throwing up. Then one day i collapsed and they called an ambulance. It turned out that i was diabetic and was throwing up because my blood sugar was too high.
Later, i think i was 12 or 13. I developed ingrown toenails. My big toes would bleed and ooze every day. When i came home from school they would be stained with blood and some yellow. My mom would yell at me for this and scold me for not taking better care of my feet. This went on for about 6 months. My mom got a foot bath for me, and told me to soak my feet in warm water and gave me these sharp sticks to try to pry the nail out of the skin, but it didn't work. Eventually she did take me to a doctor who performed the surgery to cut the toenails out.
Other things that i remember, smaller things, were things like i asked to join the boy scouts at one point and my mother told me she didn't have to do that because she had already done that when my sister was in girl scouts, and i asked to learn to ride a bike at one point and my parents told me i was too old to go ride a bike with training wheels so i wasn't allowed. I told my mom at one point that when i grew up i wanted to have a family with lots of kids, and she told me i couldn't have a family because of my diabetes, it was going to be too expensive.
My parents never hit me, or denied me food, and when i got diabetes my mom would always track all of my sugar levels and how much insulin, she still has stacks and stacks of the monthly sheets for tracking everything the doctors office gave us. But i don't remember ever playing with her or my dad, my dad didn't take me to football games, though he went with my grandma all the time, they had season tickets together. My parents never told me i should join anything at school like sports or anything.
The older i get, the more i think of these things, and look at how much i hate my life, and i blame them and get angrier at them, i hate them. They are in their 70's now, they invite me over for dinner, on the weekends sometimes, i hate going over there, when ever they text me asking me to go i yell at my phone and i wish they would both die already.