Funny break up letters to boyfriend

Some backstory before you bomb me with let it be that's not your business, cuz I'm really worried about her and she is such a nice person.
I'm not a very friendly person. I'm cold and have a very tough time making friends. Our school organized a trip to Paris before graduation and I thought I was going to be alone, like always, and didn't mind since one gets used to it.
I was shocked when one of my classmates ( let's call her Lee to make this easier) offer me to share room with her and one of her best friends ( let's call her Nancy, she is the main character of this story).
They have always been kind to me since I arrived to school lash year. Lee even invited me to her Quinceañera and even today I can't understand why they were all so welcoming and nice to me.
We weren't the closest of friend so I was really surprised. I later discovered that Lee turned down and offer from one of her friends to be with Nancy and with me. That's another story, so I won't go into detail about that.
When you share room with someone, even if it's for a week, you get to know them a lot.
I knew she had a bf because we where all in the same class last year. What I didn't know is that they broke up.
She told us the whole story when eating at McDonald's with another friend ( let's call him Dan). He's relevant to the story since he's friends with the friends of Nancy's ex. Nancy told us they broke up in good terms. After the break up some of his ex's friends ( let's call the ex Cole since keeping up with the ex bla bla bla Is getting tedious) told Nancy about his multiple affairs. They were at least 3 in the 8 months of the relationship. One at the FIRST WEEK. Another one when he went to visit his relatives in Rumania, and another one I don't remember when.
We talked a lot that night. A few days later Dan told us some nasty things Cole said at Nancy's back. For example, quote, You changed me for that fucking nasty *beaner*.
It's important to say Dan isn't friends with Cole, so he might have said that to hurt Nancy through Dan, idk.
My sister is also friends with a friend of Cole. I listen to the audios he sent her and we can sum them up by saying that "Nancy was a slut, trying to get someone between her legs". He also told my sister that Nancy ended the relationship because, quote again "she wanted to be with other men while Cole was away, since she didn't felt loved enough". He also told my sister that he was texting a lot of guys with very friendly messages, while Cole worked his ass of to give her the best, spending many money on her, like if she was an investment or something.
Let's say that, at the very end of the relationship, a guy started texting Nancy and there was mutual interest. Though she always turned down his offers and invitations for the relationship's sake.
It's also worth mentioning that after the break up, Cole was dating again after literally a week, showing off her girlfriend specially to Nancy.
Nancy hasn't been in any dates since. She kept on talking with this guy though, but it wasjust texting, nothing more.
Now, fast forward to today, they're posting stories together holding hands and kissing ( Cole and Nancy). I haven't asked Nancy or Lee about it ñ, but it seems very, very sus to me.
I'll ask my twin, Queen of the gossip, if this is real or just bait.
I haven't talked with Nancy a lot since the trip, more than the usual hi wassup. I'm really looking forward to keep my friendship with them since they're really good people.
I really want to help her since I found what he said and what he did to her almost unforgivable for a boyfriend.
Idk of someone here has been to something similar to help me to help her. Thanks of you read through the whole post and look forward to your comments.

Some backstory before you bomb me with let it be that's not your business, cuz I'm really worried about her and she is such a nice person.
I'm not a very friendly person. I'm cold and have a very tough time making friends. Our school organized a trip to Paris before graduation and I thought I was going to be alone, like always, and didn't mind since one gets used to it.
I was shocked when one of my classmates ( let's call her Lee to make this easier) offer me to share room with her and one of her best friends ( let's call her Nancy, she is the main character of this story).
They have always been kind to me since I arrived to school lash year. Lee even invited me to her Quinceañera and even today I can't understand why they were all so welcoming and nice to me.
We weren't the closest of friend so I was really surprised. I later discovered that Lee turned down and offer from one of her friends to be with Nancy and with me. That's another story, so I won't go into detail about that.
When you share room with someone, even if it's for a week, you get to know them a lot.
I knew she had a bf because we where all in the same class last year. What I didn't know is that they broke up.
She told us the whole story when eating at McDonald's with another friend ( let's call him Dan). He's relevant to the story since he's friends with the friends of Nancy's ex. Nancy told us they broke up in good terms. After the break up some of his ex's friends ( let's call the ex Cole since keeping up with the ex bla bla bla Is getting tedious) told Nancy about his multiple affairs. They were at least 3 in the 8 months of the relationship. One at the FIRST WEEK. Another one when he went to visit his relatives in Rumania, and another one I don't remember when.
We talked a lot that night. A few days later Dan told us some nasty things Cole said at Nancy's back. For example, quote, You changed me for that fucking nasty *beaner*.
It's important to say Dan isn't friends with Cole, so he might have said that to hurt Nancy through Dan, idk.
My sister is also friends with a friend of Cole. I listen to the audios he sent her and we can sum them up by saying that "Nancy was a slut, trying to get someone between her legs". He also told my sister that Nancy ended the relationship because, quote again "she wanted to be with other men while Cole was away, since she didn't felt loved enough". He also told my sister that he was texting a lot of guys with very friendly messages, while Cole worked his ass of to give her the best, spending many money on her, like if she was an investment or something.
Let's say that, at the very end of the relationship, a guy started texting Nancy and there was mutual interest. Though she always turned down his offers and invitations for the relationship's sake.
It's also worth mentioning that after the break up, Cole was dating again after literally a week, showing off her girlfriend specially to Nancy.
Nancy hasn't been in any dates since. She kept on talking with this guy though, but it wasjust texting, nothing more.
Now, fast forward to today, they're posting stories together holding hands and kissing ( Cole and Nancy). I haven't asked Nancy or Lee about it ñ, but it seems very, very sus to me.
I'll ask my twin, Queen of the gossip, if this is real or just bait.
I haven't talked with Nancy a lot since the trip, more than the usual hi wassup. I'm really looking forward to keep my friendship with them since they're really good people.
I really want to help her since I found what he said and what he did to her almost unforgivable for a boyfriend.
Idk of someone here has been to something similar to help me to help her. Thanks of you read through the whole post and look forward to your comments.

I can't always meet him cause I have really strict and old parents . They don't let me go out much and i have to make an excuse everytime I go to meet my boyfriend. I have never been to a club either and I feel like I'm living under a rock when he mentions how many girls his friends brought and actually , yes , my boyfriend has cheated on me once already , not physically but well he was talking to another girl which I found out about 4 months later 💀 . I want to break up with him cause i think he needs someone who can just party with him every night . I'm a medical student and I can't do that , I mean i have my own way of having fun which he calls boring . I tried breaking up with him but he isn't budging .
Tldr : I think I'm too boring for my outgoing social boyfriend.

I (F, 29) was dating a guy (30). It started as a sexual connection because he wanted a distraction after breaking up with his ex. He was upfront about it. I am poly with a primary partner and was happy to go with the flow and enjoy the physical aspect. However, we went out often and clicked on so many aspects and could talk for hours. We both opened up about our mental health and vulnerabilities. Eventually started acting more and more like a couple. It was making me anxious because I wasn't sure how much space I could take and feared becoming an emotional dumping ground. He's depressed and struggling a lot. When I called out the fact that his behaviour was changing toward romantic, he asked to keep hanging out as friends until he was sure of what he wanted.
I decided to give it a shot but during the following date I panicked because I felt we were being cold and awkward, like we were making small talk. I had a panic attack. He suggested we should take a break but I kept crying and saying I couldn't get him out of my head and felt rejected. How could he act like my boyfriend the week prior and then shut it all off? He admitted he was being unfair and he should walk away and we shouldn't make plans to reach out to each other. He left.
What's your take on this situation? I couldn't find many references for situationships where the guy wants to stop having sex. It's been a month since the BU. We still follow each other on IG and he views all of my stories but no direct contact. I still really care for him and hope he gets better. Frankly, I'd be happy to reprise this as just FWB but I know it's out of my hands.

[19F] Navigating a relationship since I was just 14 and he was 18, meeting online, and then finally getting to hang out in person was like a dream come true. We shared everything, from silly inside jokes to deeper fears and anxieties. But my constant battle with anxiety and panic attacks was always lurking in the background, casting a shadow over our otherwise happy moments
When a stressful family event hit, I felt like I was drowning. I couldn't handle the pressure, and I resorted to self-harm. It was a dark and scary time, but I knew I had to reach out for help. Confiding in my mom was the first step, and before I knew it, I found myself in a mental hospital, with my boyfriend by my side, holding my hand and telling me how proud he was of me for being brave enough to seek help
But the road to recovery wasn't smooth sailing. The medication they gave me at the hospital made things worse before they got better. My panic attacks became even more intense, and I felt like I was losing control. I turned to my boyfriend for support, pouring my heart out to him about how tired I was of fighting and how I just wanted the pain to end. And then, out of nowhere, he dropped the bombshell..he was breaking up with me... (also before my birthday)
I felt like the ground had been pulled out from under me. The one person I thought would always be there for me had turned his back on me when I needed him the most. And to make matters worse, his mom, who had always been so sweet to me, suddenly cut me off completely. It felt like I was losing everyone I cared about, and it sent my panic attacks into overdrive
In the midst of all this chaos, I turned to therapy and medication for some semblance of stability. And slowly, ever so slowly, things started to improve. But despite the progress I was making, I couldn't shake the feeling of longing for my ex-boyfriend. I wanted to show him that I had changed, that I was getting better, but every attempt I made to reach out to him was met with silence or rejection. Started telling me how he doesn't think about me anymore and even if we would get back together he might loose one of his best friend ... And he also called me a narcissist.. :(
I'm trying to push forward but it's getting harder and harder... I'm sorry for doing the stuff I've done and I'm sorry for being like this ... I'm really trying to get better ... I still love him A LOT and I'm sorry for being impulse and trying to send him messages now even though he doesn't wanna hear from me anymore...I miss him .... I haven't ate in 4 days and I find myself going to sleep with anxiety and waking up with anxiety.
Please tell me what can I do now...??

I think he is avoidant? I don't want to label but it seems pretty close to how he has been lately. He'll have periods of a week or two where he's extremely affectionate, clingy even, talking about his feelings and how much he misses and loves me, how excited he is to see me etc. Then out of nowhere he's aloof and barely reaches out, doesn't reciprocate affection, ignores my texts, doesn't tell me anything about his day or his life, and isn't really engaged when I talk about what's going on in my life. When this happens I just continue to send him a few texts like usual or send him a picture or two throughout the day but mostly I just force myself to leave him alone. It's both of our first relationship and we both have a lot to work through and long distance is hard so I'm pretty patient and I don't think he's doing it on purpose, but honestly it's been a few months of this and the weird push/pull is starting to make me freak out and second guess everything.
I found out today through a group chat with our IRL friends that he signed up to be a residential camp counselor from Jan-March 2025. We were supposed to move in together in my state at the end of January. We're pretty young and he's moving not me, so I expect the date to move around. But he didn't tell me? He didn't even tell me he was thinking about it. Or that he wanted to delay the move. That job would be a big change and would affect our relationship and it would mean we'd only be able to talk to each other on the weekends, it would suck but if we both want to stay committed then I have no concerns.
However him literally not mentioning this to me at all, coupled with him being super aloof and distant for the past week is making me freak out a little? My feelings are super hurt that I am not being kept in the loop at all. I dont feel like we are in it together right now. He is secure and confident in our relationship but he didnt even think to ask me how I felt about this or anything. I don't know what goes on in his head when he goes back and forth like this and frankly its making me feel really sad and alone and distant from him. I want to communicate this to him but im not sure how to do it without making him feel defensive.
Again I dont think its intentional. If he stonewalls me when I tell him how I feel, honestly I will consider breaking up, I'm an anxious person and I'm exhausted from doing constant shadow work and my heart can't handle constantly guessing if my boyfriend will even say he loves me back today. I respect his alone time 100% but this feels different. He loves me a lot and prior to dating we were best friends for 4 years. Im seeing a new side of him and I want to approach this stuff in a patient and non accusatory matter, really I just want to understand why he didn't let me in on these things and maybe why he's being distant. Most of the time if I had a concern he'd be pretty aloof and a little dismissive. But when those walls come down and he begins talking about his feelings, that's when we start making some progress and understanding. Any advice on how to approach this or what I can do on my side would really be appreciated.

My boyfriend and I have been in a LDR for 2.5 years. He is studying in engineering in the UK and I am studying Medicine in our home country (Southeast Asia).
Yesterday he told me there is a high chance of him failing several papers and would need to repeat them in the summer. This has happened before during his first year but he made it through. The difference now is that because the average percentage of his grades will most likely be less than 55%, he will not meet the requirement to advance to his final year (Masters in Engineering).
So his plan now is to come back home and ‘maybe’ continue his masters or do a masters in something other than engineering. And because it’s considered as failure to complete the program, his scholarship will be taken back and he will have to pay every single penny back.
When I first met him, he seemed very clear of his goals and career pathway. Over time I realized that he struggles a lot in his studies and social life. He also hid from me for months that he was diagnosed with depression. As a medical student, I understand and don’t judge, but as his GF it hurts me to see him like that and I worry constantly that he won’t be able to cope with the stress in the future.
I love him, but I feel like his future holds a lot on uncertainty and I am afraid it will burden me.
TLDR: My LDR bf is failing Uni and will be in financial debt. I can’t see a future with him anymore.
I feel like I want to break up.

My boyfriend and I have been in a LDR for 2.5 years. He is studying in engineering in the UK and I am studying Medicine in our home country (Southeast Asia).
Yesterday he told me there is a high chance of him failing several papers and would need to repeat them in the summer. This has happened before during his first year but he made it through. The difference now is that because the average percentage of his grades will most likely be less than 55%, he will not meet the requirement to advance to his final year (Masters in Engineering).
So his plan now is to come back home and ‘maybe’ continue his masters or do a masters in something other than engineering. And because it’s considered as failure to complete the program, his scholarship will be taken back and he will have to pay every single penny back.
When I first met him, he seemed very clear of his goals and career pathway. Over time I realized that he struggles a lot in his studies and social life. He also hid from me for months that he was diagnosed with depression. As a medical student, I understand and don’t judge, but as his GF it hurts me to see him like that and I worry constantly that he won’t be able to cope with the stress in the future.
I love him, but I feel like his future holds a lot on uncertainty and I am afraid it will burden me.
TLDR: My LDR bf is failing Uni and will be in financial debt. I can’t see a future with him anymore.
I feel like I want to break up.

Hi queen petty potato :), names used are fake. I am dyslexic so I apologise in advance.
I 26(female) and friend Lola 28(female) met because of a mutual Friend Kat 27(female) who I was in the sixth form college classes with at age 17, me and kat got pretty close but she was 18 so she could go out to clubs and bars on the weekend to which I could not yet.
I met Lola a few weeks after my 18th birthday as her birthday was pretty close to mine, Kat asked me if I wanted to go to Lola's birthday party, On first meeting Lola she was kind of cold didn't seem to interested in getting to know me, fast forward a few weeks and me and kat were going out a lot and Lola seem to warmed up to me, Kat did let me know Lola can take time to warm up to people But she did and everything seemed completely fine with us.
Now here's where I should of clocked why she is like this kat and Lola would tell me stories of them in secondary school that they were always falling out or there group of friends changed quite often due to people falling out with Lola, it was all because of boys Lola loved them and basically always wanted to be the centre of attention when boys were around, I had a boyfriend at the time so she basically didn't feel I was as a threat to her as the others (her words not mine).
Well I broke up with said boyfriend as we grow a part, the break up was a little hard as it was my first relationship but kat and Lola were really there for me, I did start to notice Lola would get snappy with me for what I would wear out at party's or clubs but I put it down to this guy Matt who was messing her about a bit and we would see him and his friends all the time, I did get attention from Matt's friends but I liked his friend Joe not Matt as he seemed like a bit of dickhead because how he would treat Lola.
Lola didn't like any of my other friends whom I had known longer as they were friends from my primary school or any new girls she would we meet and would get mad and start arguments with me and Kat when we were hanging out with other people, she got pregnant and would always complain we were always going out when she couldn't, and basically would call us bad friends and unknow calls us and anyone we were with stay silent on the phone to see if we were out as we would lie sometimes because we did want the arguments, she could be pretty selfish as I was not really local to her and would travel to her and she would make no effort to do the same.
This went on for years until I basically said to Lola I don't want to be to be friends it's exhausting and I'm to old going over the same argument, here is where I might be an asshole at this point no one was talking to her not even Kat, so basically I know she has no one at this point other then the latest guy in her life. she calls me and texts me daily saying I'm throwing 8 year friendship away.
Am I the asshole here or could I be more understanding of her feelings.

I (26F) had been dating my boyfriend (27M) for four months now. He has always been too much ‘in love’ with me from the beginning, and made me feel really safe and understood. However, he has always been a little insecure about my past.
A few days back, I was feeling anxious so I talked to him about breaking up twice in a span of two days. We made up later by discussing our issues but the second time around, he was really aggressive and called me all sorts of names like ‘suck xxx’s cock, you just wanted to sleep around, go sleep with x tonight’ and so on. He also got really angry, was throwing things around, put his hand on the stove and so on and I felt unsafe around him.
After this incident, the respect and love I had for him reached a low and I could tell that I was just not happy/invested in this relationship anymore. Last Monday I went and told him that we should break up once and for all and he didn’t take it well. The next night, he came to my place and tried to ring himself in, and then sent me loads of texts and called me saying ‘I’m trying to get in, sleeping on the bench outside your house’ etc. I again felt very unsafe and scared. I was at a friend’s and I had told him I was safe and okay but he still did this and his justification for that was that I was drunk, he was worried about me and he got me food. He kept asking which friend and whether he was a guy, he just wanted to know who I was with.
A few days before this incident, I had recommended his CV to my place of work and tried to create a position for him, and when I realised that he acted up the way he did that night, I told my manager that I don’t feel comfortable being around him at my workplace.
He still wanted to work things out so he’s been pleading me to give another chance when I am really done, but when he found out I talked to my manager about the job and how I felt uncomfortable, he tried to turn it on me and how I sabotaged him. I feel guilty now, wondering, did I overreact? He said that you put me through hell, my confidence has taken a new low, and all this happened while his dad is in the hospital. (Which I did not know when I had broken up, he told me later. Otherwise I wouldn’t have broken up that time). After this he tried to contact my friends and my sister to convince me to see sense and get back together with him. He even threatened to kill himself because I hurt him so much.
I called him to tell him I’m sorry again for everything that happened and I didn’t purposely tell my manager that since I was the one who tried to get him the job in the first place when there wasn’t even any vacancy but by the end he said he wanted to get back together again. He keeps insisting and so I keep telling him my decision hasn’t changed and he is blaming me for putting him through all of this shit. A few days back, we again met at a common friend’s party and he accused me of flirting with someone at this party. Then he later thew insults at me for an hour, insisted that I give him a chance, after which he followed me to my place when I had a panic attack. After this, he insisted that he entered my place and when I said no, he got mad and started hitting his hand (that he had injured before) on a wall. Then he tried to again enter my place later to apologise. When he realised I wasn’t letting him in, he called one of his friend’s friend to let him inside. She thankfully did not. However, she didn’t let him in. After that, I blocked him from all social media but he created accounts on platforms he wasn’t on to try to talk to me. A week later, he messaged me on Telegram (where I hadn’t blocked him), to tell me he got back together with him. Is he a narcissist?

I come from a generally abusive upbringing and I just went No Contact with my Family.
I put TLDR at the end. It is alot.
I think Narcicism is part of their entire generational culture after the break with all my Family Elders.
I moved away from home and in with a kind fun loving man. I became stable! I got an amazing job. Best of my career.
My Family couldnt stand it, I wasnt desperate or needy and available for their game playing.
My Dad got angrier and angrier on every phone call. Shouting abuse at me about decision. I should not ever order takeout! I havent got a sizable retirement plan. Dont take a loan on a decent car. You dont have a house. Its a waste. He owns million in real estate and never runs AC in his own house. If he does it for a guest hell tell them how its a big deal. He believes in saving…
The derision continued until I confronted him about hus behaviour. It was a careful well thought out conversation. Complaints are unwelcome in my Family. I told my Dad directly. You are losing your temper everytime were on the phone and Im worried about you. This could be early stage dementia. Will you please see a Doctor?
When I was on disability he loved playing kind supportive Dad. Now Im flying on my own and he is losing his mind.
My criticism led to a years worth of drama. It was a slow creep. He would ask me about work. I thought we were being civil. And then I started getting emails from his Sister. Shes worried about me. His Brother makes a trip to Montreal and he says three different reasons why hes here. I feel checked up on. My Sister calls and reminds me gently. Be careful ya know youre “Special”.
Im legit making 87k a year in a Unicorn Startup. Its amazing.
I lose my job during a round of layoffs. Budget cuts. Didnt make sales targets. Im low hanging fruit. Im going to collect max EI. The company is generous and gives me a months notice so I can jobhunt.
This is my Dads big moment. Hes on the phone checking in and he moves to destroy me. Oh honey! You dont have to lie. You got FIRED! That happens sometimes. Listen. Why dont you move back? Plenty of part time jobs here. Less stress. This always happens to you… (It does not)
I get off the phone shaking. Wtf is this trash. I have two letters of recommendation and lifelong contacts and the launch of a career.
To cut to the chase. He had gone behind my back and started rumours Im doing drugs and lying to the Family constantly. He said my new bf is a drug dealer. He cant understand why I left my Husband (actual drug addict)
Total assault on my character and ran me right out of the Family. Im honestly glad to never talk to any of my 18 Cousins 8 Aunts and Uncles or 6 Sisters and Brothers ever again. None of them believe a word I say anymore. They want that Old Family Money.
Im officially unsafe. And its shocking but. Get wreckt. My Dad thinks hes the King and I MUST worship and faun over him. Puke. I have an opinion.
TLDR. I offended my Father when I called him on his bad behaviour for the first time. So he convinced my entire Family Im in a DV situation and using hard drugs. Noone cares what I say because he pays a lot of their bills… and takes them on vacation around the world.
For Reference see. Crabs in a Bucket. Or. George Carlin. There might be something wrong with you. You might be surrounded by ash holes.

Shirley wonders what she have to do to win over Lelouch and make him her boyfriend. He is so annoying and reclusive never fully opening up to anyone. What will it take to make him do so? To open up to her at least.
So she looks over how to win over a man and... What comes up shocks her. What all guys want is anal sex! Really to put their dicks up womens butt. Who could have though? Maybe... Maybe it is true? What if that's what Lelouch wants. Not even Milly seems to be open to that? Maybe that's why Lelouch havent given her any attention either? It starts to make sense! Lelouch wants anal sex and Shirley will be the one to give it to him!
But how? It's not like she can just march up to him and tell him. No she could never do that! That would be far to embarrassing. She would die! Plus if anyone heard or saw them? Oh gosh no, not like that. Maybe... Maybe a letter? Yes! A letter will do! She will give him a letter to meet her up on the roof. There, there she will be able to propose her idea to him. To tell him she is ready. Ready to get fucked up the butt.
She makes a letter and leaves it at his desk at school. It says to meet her on the roof at school where she will be ready to fullfill his deepest desires. She is blushing while writing it as she knows what it entails. The rest of the days passes in a blur. Before she knows it she is standing up on the roof in her normal school uniform.
Maybe he won't show up? Maybe the website was lying? What if he just don't like her? What if... She can't do it... Oh she hadn't actually though of that. She must actually be able to fit his... His penis in her butt... What if he is too big? Won't it hurt like real bad? She shakes her head and Steele's herself. For Lelouch she is willing to do anything. Even if it hurts, even if it's hard she will ensure and win his heart with her ass.
.

Ok y’all so I had this boyfriend… let’s call him Philip. Philip and I were in a relationship for about a month and everything was pretty great. I loved being around him and we worked perfectly. Although he did love bomb me and say “I love you” after 4 days, I just dismissed it as him being naive as it was both our first times in a relationship. Anyway RANDOMLY on a Monday, we were supposed to meet uo to get food and as soon as we meet up, he randomly suggests that we walk to this special secret garden (that we had hooked up in before). I start panicking and am so confused because i couldn't possibly figure out what it could be about. When we get go the garden, he sits me down and randomly says, "I'm breaking up with you." All the wind left my body as i sat down completely shocked like HUH?? He then says, "I fell out of love, lost feelings for you, and don't feel the same way that i felt at the beginning of the relationship. Ive felt this way for a week. Any questions?" and afterwards just got up and left. I was so shocked and confused as he had literally just said i love you yesterday + the past week, brought me food, cuddled with me, made summer plans etc. just like normal. I would've thought that if he really "lost feelings" then he would at least distanced himself first, showed signs, said something beforehand yk. I also hated the way he communicated as he vaguely communicated and broke up with me first before even discussing the reasons, like there was no lead up at all. To top that, many times in the relationship he had mentioned that he overthinks a lot and has doubts that sometimes get him to think that he's not good enough for me and also gets him to question everything blah blah. He also said that sometimes he gets so in head and overthinks so much and thinks he’s not good enough that he'll just end a relationship or friendship… which gave me the ick at times as i didn't understand why he couldn't communicate with the OTHER ppl in the friendship/ relationship first before ending it. I am so pissed off, hurt, and disappointed with this man as i don't blame him for losing feelings but the way he went about telling me via breaking up with me in the worst way possible was just wrong. What do yall think?

I 22F and my bf 25M are currently on a break for the week. I’m doing my uni finals at the moment, and I have been a bit stressed. I noticed my bf wasn’t really talking to me the way he normally would and I asked him what’s up. He sent me a really long text detailing now he thinks we are never on the same page (1), he keeps thinking about how I read his diary (2), I called him my ex’s name by acccident (3), and he is stressed because I am frustrated about my exams (4). I’ll detail these more now.

1. He wants kids. I met him online and told him in my profile I was strictly against kids. Recently, I have come around about that, but I am still unsure. I’m not against them but I have explained I would need to do what I want and live my life a bit and have a house and job before I could decide that. I am also a child of divorce and saw how that really affected my mum, and I explained to him how that also put me on the fence. He said he doesn’t want to be with someone for years and it feel like a “waste” if it doesn’t work out kids wise and he doesn’t wanna start dating in his 30s. Another thing is travel. I had told him I would perhaps like to travel after uni, but I am forgoing that. I said it would be nice to go away on holiday like his other friend couples do maybe once a year, but he thought that I was insinuating we MUST go this year. I explained that I wasn’t expecting him to, because he wants to save for a house (rent), and he can’t get any hols anyway. He was really silent after that as if we had “argued” and in his eyes that was an argument he brought up this week. I didn’t raise my voice at him or argue, rather said that wasn’t what I meant and explained further.
   
2. This one is bad, I know. I was in a really bad place mentally, and I thought that something was wrong with him since he sometimes suffered from anxiety and dealing with the future. I had only read the last entry he put in and immediately after I read it I told him as I felt so guilty betraying him. I’ve apologised profusely and I’ve been going to counselling to help my own anxiety and depression. I wanna note that I’m not like that around him, it’s mainly when I’m by myself so he doesn’t really see that side of me. In the moment I was genuinely worried for him. I know it still makes what I did bad.
   
3. This one really tears me up every day. We were playing around, and instead of saying his name in a playful annoyed way I said my exes. He immediately shut down and wouldn’t talk to me or hear me out. In fact, he kicked me out of his house. I get that what I said was not nice to hear, and upon talking to my counsellor she said it was a common thing to do, and doesn’t mean I was thinking about my ex. I wanna say that I DO NOT think about them and have blocked and deleted them from my life. In doing that however, I did begin to spend more time with my gay bestie who happens to have the same name as my ex and I happened to talk to on that day. I really believe it was a mistake and I thought he was trying to move past it but he keeps bringing it up.
   
4. He doesn’t like to be around me when I’m stressed. When I’m frustrated, I’m not angry at him or raise my voice at him or be passive aggressive, it’s more so internalised at myself. He was offering me advice this year and feels like because I didn’t stick to a schedule to complete my uni tasks, I was ignoring him. I work last minute, it’s how I have always worked and I get great result. Not to mention, in his final uni year he was the same as me. I dont really get this argument to be honest.
   

I also wanna note that he told me he wasn’t sure if this is the “real” me or if I was on my best behaviour at the start of the relationship. Everything was great at the start, but in my first week of uni my grandmother does, I then had to have surgery 2 months later to remove breast tumours (non cancerous), and I guess that and uni stress really caught up with me. He saw that I was doing better by going to the gym and feeling better about myself, but said that I snap back at times and don’t like myself. I think this is normal as some people have off days but I think he’s annoyed by it.
Also, at the start of our relationship he was really anxious about us, and I helped him through it. He was also stressed about jobs, and I had helped him prep and make a new cv as I’m good at that stuff and he got job offers. In fact at one point he said to me that he thought I was with him for money. I had more in savings than him at that point and paid for things/went 50/50. I am also lined up for a higher earning job than him when I’m out of uni.
We are on a break atm until my exams are over (20may). I genuinely don’t think these are things to waste 1 year over especially when I’m gonna be out of that stressed environment soon. He replied one night to my goodnight I love you saying “love you” but only replied x last night. Am I in the wrong here? I feel like an awful person but my parents say he doesn’t treat me nicely/fair and my friends said the only thing I did wrong was read his diary
TL;DR: my boyfriend has been acting very weird towards me recently and I asked him about it. He can’t stop thinking about the fact that I called him my exes name, he wants kids and I’m on the fence (I said no on my profile before we dated), he thinks we have arguments when we don’t (explained in post), and he said that my stress with uni exams isn’t nice to be around (I don’t raise my voice or be angry or be mean to him). I’ve helped him throughout the relationship when he was anxious about us, when he was stressed about getting jobs, and when he was having anxiety attacks. I’m not entirely the same as I was as my grandmother died this year, I had surgery to remove breast tumours, and uni stress has all caught up on me. I just think it’s my turn to be supported. I am going to therapy and the gym and starting to better myself but he hasn’t done anything like that. Am I the problem? What should I do?

Me (24F) and my boyfriend (26M) have been dating since 9 months. I am an old school, hopeless romantic kinda woman who writes poetry and stuff, doesn’t give up on love at all, till the last ounce of my breath. He was a F boy for 2 years straight because he lost his mother during COVID and he was trying to cope with it. But i gave him a chance to change and think maturely about relationships. We both are on the same page of having a sensible and serious relationship. But we have been going through a very rough patch lately. In the beginning 4-5 months he behaved very nicely and stuff, gave me time, was patient with me, validated my feelings (since i am over-thinker, so i need a lot of reassurance) but now the tables have turned. He asked me to support him since he was struggling financially and I agreed with him but as soon as i agreed with him, he started unpacking his stress baggage, talking to me rudely, behaving very differently, doesn’t even caring about me (even i am crying or i am ill or even at the hospital), blaming everything on me (for example if he fails to work because of his laziness or lack of attention he will blame it on me that i wasn’t able to work because you said me this and my all the attention goes there and my mind switches off itself and couldn’t work), stopped talking about the relationship and started saying me to handle everything, if i say something like i have been feeling the distance between us or just some general feelings of mine, he will start shouting and creates a fight, even though i apologise like 100 times, started treating me very badly (for example, yesterday I was waiting and roaming around the city for 7 hours in almost peak summers just to spend 1 hour with him so that we can sit and talk about us, i ate nothing and i told him that, he didn’t asked or cared to ask where i was or did i ate something instead just said sorry he was busy in work and couldn’t made it on time, i still understood his situation and greeted him by hugging him. And then as i started talking about our relationship and all the problems we are facing nowadays (honestly was on the verge of breaking up and it was a serious conversation) and he was still busy on the phone checking about the damn cricket match) And at the end still blamed me that he asked me to support him during this stressful time but he couldn’t see any support from my side. If i text him less thinking he might be busy, then also he will blame me that i don’t care about him, if i check up on him and send texts and still will get blamed that he couldn’t work because of me, while he says harsh and ruthless things to me but i endure all most of the times, thinking he might be stressed but it hurts me as well as i am a human being as well, so i bring those things up to him and still he blames me that i fight with him.
I mean i don’t know what he wants and when i ask him how do you want me to support you, he says i don’t know you should figure out yourself as you love me.
Can anyone help me what should i do? :(

Hi y'all, I'm 21F and been dating my boyfriend (19M) for 9 months now. I would really like your advice on how to not spiral every single time I get triggered. We've had a lot of near break ups, the worst one being a few days ago. He is at his limit with me and I am terrified of losing him.
I'm in DBT therapy, taking meds and all, but still I find myself totally flipping out over the smallest things. How do you prevent it from escalating? (For example, I'll get ridiculously angry, he'll seem annoyed/disappointed because he knows it's happening again, I'll tell myself "he's never going to understand me", "this is it, he's gonna break up with me") Like even when I realize I'm having an episode, I'll just panic even worse because I start to feel like I will never get better and this relationship is doomed.
Any advice would be appreciated. I'm scared to death of losing him because of my BPD. Thank you :)

Previous diary entry here: https://www.reddit.com/buffy/comments/1cuyf6k/rewatchers_diary_season_2_episodes_15_to_18/
The last sprint to the finish line: I Only Have Eyes for You (2x19), Go Fish (2x20), Becoming (2x21-2x22).
Man, I Only Have Eyes for You is such a beautiful gem of a composition. Go Fish is less bad than I remembered it (but still bottom-tier), Becoming FUCK YEAH!
I Only Have Eyes for You
It's the Sadie Hawkins dance and the gender roles are reversed—on BTVS, of all places ;-)
Xander suggests it's the brain child of a hairy-legged feminist and Cordelia is upset not only at losing her privilege of having her date pay for the date but also at having the tables turned all the way around and having to be the one who has to pay. Man I love the anti-chemistry of Xandelia.
But all is not well: Sunnydale high is haunted by the ghost of a student (James), whose romance with a teacher (Grace) was broken off by her. He responded with a murder-suicide which he is now reenacting. This is the mystery of the week.
The emotional significance is that Buffy identifies with James: she feels she betrayed and murdered Angel, unleashing Angelus. Her inability to kill Angelus in Innocence led to Jenny's death in Passion, which Buffy feels guilt about.
The punchline is Buffy and Angel(us) reenacting the ghost story, with Buffy in James' shoes, Angel surviving Buffy's murder attempt and preventing Buffy-as-James' suicide. Grace forgives James and says she never stopped loving him, the ghosts depart, Angel is back in his Angelus form who runs off.
Also, the final reveal: Spike, driven more crazy by Angelus, has been overstating his incapacitation.
I frigging love this episode.
I think Buffy's big change is her acceptance that Angel is dead, and that a demon (Angelus) has taken up shop in his body. It walks and it talks like Angel but it's no longer him. This has to be it, because the ghostly reenactment basically says that the Bangel love is forever and is still there even if Angel isn't—and yet, Buffy is more resolved and determined to kill Angelus than ever. This only makes sense if she's distinguishing between the two, i.e. if she's accepting that the man she used to love is gone.
The ghost story is beautifully tragic. The resolution, Grace's forgiveness and the departure of the ghosts, is such a heart-warming relief. And Buffy sorting out her feelings is wonderfully bittersweet.
Giles being distraught by the loss of Jenny, to the point of him not thinking straight, is heartbreaking. Metaphorically Giles is Buffy's mind, making it very fitting that Buffy's resolution is about sorting out her understanding of the Angel/Angelus distinction.
I noticed a thing: during the triangular binding spell we have Buffy at the center of the action, with Willow, Xander and Giles Cordelia supporting her, a motif replayed in Primeval (4x21).
If we understood the metaphor in Teacher's Pet (1x4) we learned that student-teacher romance means the teacher is preying on the student. Here it was... well preying is the wrong word, but here it was the student harming the teacher. I feel this might dilute the message of Teacher's Pet; this episode could've been a bit more on-brand with a line or two with the message that it's not uncommon or shameful for teens to have feelings for 20-somethings—but, if reciprocated, it's inappropriate for the older person to act on those feelings. The tie-in between James/Grace and Buffy/Angel would be perfect, the social commentary would be more to my liking, and I think the social commentary I want is on-point for BTVS. Heck, if you peel of the big S2 metaphor, I see a 16yo girl crushing on a ~26yo red flag, with disastrous consequences. The social commentary I'm calling for is the whole bloody point of S2, so why not reinforce it here? Maybe it would dilute the "awww" when Grace forgives James, like, we're meant to feel it's a sweet couple and they should get each other and that has to be an undiluted high note.
Nitpicking aside, what a gem!
Go Fish
I asked the writers for a good episode, but they said "go fish". Oh well, I guess there's plenty of fish in the sea. Let's plunge in and take a deep dive.
I remembered this as "that one really awfully disappointing episode of Buffy". This time, I found it to be merely "meh". There were a few decent comedy bits: "undercover" // "not under much" and "I'm dating a guy on the Sunnydale High swim team" // "you can die happy" #OohBurn look at the shallow Spordelia Cordelia.
There was a gender role reversal—on BTVS of all places—when Buffy walks Swimmer #2 home from The Bronze (for his protection) after he was attacked.
But on the whole... see, I kinda' enjoyed the early S2 MotW episodes, back when MotW was pretty much all that BTVS was. But now that I have tasted the Bangelus arc (again, this being a rewatch), I have lost my taste for MotWs—at least if they have no tie-in to the bigger picture. This is an episode I simply have no taste for, it doesn't excite me.
[I consider Phases (2x15) and BBB (2x16) MotW episodes with strong thematic tie-ins to the Bangelus arc: all the scoobies are dating monsters. And arguably, Passion (2x17) is about Jenny making risky dating choices, a follow-up on The Dark Age (2x8), making 2x14-2x17 a thematically cohesive run of episodes.]
Becoming
Fuck. Yeah.
Joss is such a scumbag. First he gives Buffy this great resolve and determination (perhaps after some feelings of resignation) in I Only Have Eyes for You, then he makes her waver a bit when she discovers Jenny's re-ensoulment spell. And then she gets Angel back, but it's too late since Angelus already pulled the pin on the doomsday vortex grenade, so she has to let go of him AGAIN! :(
Spike is chaotic and funny. You can always count on his loyalty, at least if you're the highest bidder, and Buffy effectively offered him his big ho girlfriend back. He's such a fool for love, wink-wink nudge-nudge.
I noticed a parallel between the trio of vampires and the trio of nerds: Angelus/Warren is the evil sociopathic leader of the group, Drusilla/Andrew has a crush on the leader and Spike/Jonathan betrays the group and sides with Buffy and the scoobies. [But also differences, of course: SpikeSilla are not as weak-willed as Andrew/Jonathan, for one. And the trio of vampires is charming.]
... and Xander brings Willow back by talking about their friendship and telling her he loves her!
Angelus talked about ascending—retro-echoing the mayor's plot in Graduation Day 2 (3x22).
Also: Angelus tried to pull a sword out of a stone (Acathla). We just went from gothic horror to Arthurian legend? Spike's reaction, "someone wasn't worthy", indicates that Angelus is a false king, not worthy of the throne of Sunnydale. He's not the real mayor so he won't ascend: while he eventually manages to pull the sword out of the stone, his ultimate fate is a downfall—he descends into a hell dimension.
The scoobies have a disagreement in the library about how to deal with Angel(us). I find it notable that it's Xander, Buffy's metaphorical heart, who responds to "I'll stop him" with "like you did last time, with Ms. Calendar"—Buffy is still feeling guilty about not having the heart guts to kill Angelus in Innocence. It's Xander who knows the location of Angelus' mansion, i.e. it's her heart which leads her to lost lover, and it's her heart which says "kick his ass". When he rescues Buffy's metaphorical mind, he (Giles) says "why would they make me see you", i.e. Buffy's mind doesn't want what's in her heart, they are conflicted. Buffy is driven by her feelings and passions now just as much as she was in Surprise when she unleashed Angelus. Once her metaphorical mind has been rescued it saves the day: she gives her regained love one last kiss and one last goodbye, then, letting cooler heads prevail, kicks his ass stabs him in the heart, breaking it, to save the day.
And some greatest hits: "nobody asks for their life to change, not really" ;; "what's left?" // "me" ;; "you hit me one time with an axe" ;; "have you tried not being the slayer?" ;; "you're expelled".
Becoming is peak Buffy.

The old family home stood at the edge of town, its once grand facade now weathered and worn by time. The town's whispers about the house had reached my ears many times throughout my childhood, but I had never given them much thought. Now, standing before the creaking gate that led to the overgrown path, I felt an inexplicable urge to discover the truth.
I had inherited the house after my great-uncle Nathaniel passed away, a man I barely knew but whose presence seemed to linger in every corner. The dusty heirlooms and musty bookshelves hinted at a long and storied history. It was a history I intended to uncover.
The first few days were uneventful. I spent my time clearing out cobwebs and sorting through old papers, most of which were mundane—bills, letters, old photographs. But then, tucked away in a hidden compartment of Nathaniel's desk, I found a bundle of letters tied with a faded red ribbon. The letters were old, the paper yellowed and brittle. They were addressed to my great-grandmother, Beatrice, from someone named Arthur.
The letters spoke of forbidden love, betrayal, and a pact made in desperation. Arthur's words grew increasingly frantic as he described a dark secret shared by the family—a secret that, if revealed, would bring ruin upon them all. My curiosity piqued, I read on, unable to tear myself away.
One letter in particular stood out. Dated December 3, 1923, it detailed a horrific event: a fire that had claimed the lives of several townspeople. Arthur confessed to starting the fire, claiming it was necessary to protect the family from something far worse. He mentioned a cult, dark rituals, and a promise made to an entity he referred to only as "the Shadow."
The more I read, the more I felt an unsettling presence in the house. Shadows seemed to move on their own, and whispers echoed through the halls at night. Determined to understand, I ventured into the basement, where Nathaniel's journals hinted at more hidden secrets.
The basement was damp and cold, the air thick with mildew. Shelves lined with jars of strange substances and dusty books filled the room. At the far end, behind an old trunk, I found a small door. It creaked open to reveal a narrow staircase leading further down into darkness.
With a flashlight in hand, I descended, my heart pounding in my chest. The air grew colder with each step, and a sense of dread settled over me. At the bottom, I found a chamber filled with symbols carved into the stone walls. In the center was an altar, stained with what I could only hope was old wax.
As I examined the room, I found more letters, these from Nathaniel to someone named Margaret. They described rituals performed to keep the Shadow at bay, sacrifices made to ensure the family's prosperity. Nathaniel's last entry was a chilling plea for forgiveness, confessing that he had failed to uphold the pact and that the Shadow was coming for him.
Suddenly, the flashlight flickered and went out. Panic set in as I fumbled to turn it back on. When the light returned, I saw them—figures standing in the shadows, their eyes glowing with an unnatural light. They whispered in unison, a low chant that sent shivers down my spine.
"Blood of the betrayer," they intoned. "Blood of the guilty."
I tried to run, but my legs felt like lead. The figures closed in, their hands cold as ice as they grabbed me. I struggled, but it was no use. They dragged me to the altar, their chanting growing louder.
As they forced me down, I realized the truth: my family had been protecting a dark secret for generations, a secret that had now claimed me. The last thing I saw was a figure stepping out of the shadows, its eyes filled with malevolent glee.
The pain was sudden and all-consuming. My scream echoed through the chamber, blending with the chants. And then, there was nothing but darkness.
The house stood silent once more, its secrets buried deep within its walls. The townspeople still whispered about the old family home, but no one dared to venture inside. They said the shadows moved on their own, and at night, if you listened closely, you could still hear the whispers of the past.
Years passed, and the house remained untouched, a dark mark on the edge of town. Then, one evening, a young couple, unaware of the house’s history, moved in. They had bought the property cheaply, charmed by its antique allure.
Their first night in the house was uneventful. They laughed, unpacked, and made plans to renovate. But as the clock struck midnight, the atmosphere changed. The house seemed to come alive with a malevolent energy. The husband, Peter, heard a faint whispering. At first, he dismissed it as the wind, but the whispers grew louder, forming words.
"Blood of the betrayer... Blood of the guilty..."
He followed the sound to the basement, where the narrow door stood ajar. Against his better judgment, he descended the stairs. The flashlight flickered, casting eerie shadows on the walls. The chamber at the bottom was as I had left it, but now there was something new—a fresh inscription on the altar: "He who seeks shall find."
Peter turned to leave, but the shadows moved. Figures emerged, their eyes glowing with the same unnatural light. He screamed for help, but the basement door slammed shut, trapping him inside.
Upstairs, his wife, Emily, heard his screams and rushed to the basement door, but it wouldn't budge. She pounded on it, calling his name, but the house seemed to swallow her cries. Desperation set in, and she ran to the phone, dialing the police.
The police arrived quickly, but as they approached the house, they felt an unnatural chill. Inside, they found Emily, frantic and pale. She led them to the basement, but when they opened the door, the chamber was empty. There was no sign of Peter.
Days turned into weeks, and Peter was never found. Emily moved out, leaving the house abandoned once more. The townspeople spoke of the curse, of the family’s dark past, and warned newcomers to stay away.
But the house never stayed empty for long. Curiosity drew people in, and one by one, they disappeared, claimed by the shadows. The whispers continued, a never-ending chant of betrayal and guilt.
One stormy night, a group of ghost hunters arrived, eager to uncover the house's secrets. They set up their equipment, cameras rolling, as they ventured into the basement. The air was thick with tension, the shadows seemed to watch, waiting.
As they explored the chamber, the leader of the group, Sam, found the old letters. He read them aloud, his voice trembling. The whispers grew louder, the shadows closing in.
"Blood of the betrayer... Blood of the guilty..."
The cameras captured everything—the figures emerging from the darkness, the screams, the terror. But when the footage was reviewed, all that was visible was the empty basement, silent and still. The hunters were never seen again.
Years passed, and the house remained a dark legend. No one dared to enter, the whispers and shadows a constant warning. And yet, on moonless nights, the townspeople could see faint lights flickering in the windows, hear the faint whispers carried on the wind.
It was said that the house was a gateway, a place where the past and present intertwined, where the sins of the ancestors demanded atonement. Those who entered were lost, their souls trapped in a never-ending cycle of horror.
Then, one day, a young historian named James arrived in town. He was fascinated by the stories and determined to uncover the truth. Despite the warnings, he entered the house, armed with his knowledge and a sense of purpose.
He found the letters, the journals, the hidden chamber. But as he delved deeper, he uncovered something no one had seen before—a final letter from Nathaniel, hidden behind a loose brick. It spoke of a ritual to break the curse, to free the trapped souls.
With renewed hope, James prepared for the ritual, following the instructions meticulously. As he began, the house seemed to tremble, the shadows stirring violently. The whispers grew to a deafening roar, but he pressed on.
The final step required a sacrifice, a willing soul to take the place of the cursed. As James completed the ritual, he felt a searing pain. The shadows enveloped him, but he continued to chant the final words.
Suddenly, the whispers stopped. The shadows receded, and the house fell silent. The townspeople, watching from a distance, saw the lights go out and heard a final, blood-curdling scream.
The next morning, they found the house empty. The letters and journals were gone, the chamber sealed. James was never seen again, but the curse seemed to have lifted. The house stood silent, no longer a source of fear.
Years later, the house was sold and renovated. Families moved in and out, but the dark history remained a distant memory. The whispers and shadows were gone, but on stormy nights, the faint echoes of the past could still be heard, a reminder of the darkness that once lurked within.
And so, the legend of the old family home became a story told to children, a cautionary tale of curiosity and the consequences of uncovering secrets best left buried. But some say that on the darkest nights, if you listen closely, you can still hear the faint whisper: "Blood of the betrayer... Blood of the guilty..."

This is my first post I’m not really sure how redit works so bear with me, all of this also JUST happened tonight so my mind is everywhere, but I’m almost 99.999% positive my 22 F boyfriend 23 M is gay. Me and him have kind of always had a really rocky relationship that I’ve always kind of known wasn’t healthy, but we’ve been on and off for 7 years. I lost my virginity to him, he’s my first love, literally my first everything, and all of this doesn’t even feel real.
He’s always been uncomfortable with PDA and as we’ve gotten older he’s been more detached and not as loving as he once was. I just figured it was because we’ve broken up for months and (once) years at a time, so he’s just keeping his guard up. But as of lately it’s been even worse. I only see him once a week, and later in the night for example he’ll come over around 8 or 9pm and fall asleep around 11 or 12 and wake me up in the morning saying he’s going home. So in all I’m getting about 3 hours a week with him. I’ve brought it up several times and even broke up with him over it. Eventually we’ve gotten back together of course, but it’s just weird to me. He does work a lot, but he spends ALL of his free time with his friends, and I’ve never met them.
7 YEARS in each others lives and I’ve never met his closest friends besides a few mutuals.
Anyways, tonight he came over because we were talking on the phone late last night and decided to get back together after being broken up for about 2 weeks. When he got here (10:45pm btw) I felt so emotional and unwanted because of him coming over so late (he was with his friends) but tried to just brush it off as me being me. We messed around, and I immediately started crying after which is not normal for me. He didn’t notice bc he was overly tired from work and being a little drunk so we cuddled a bit and he fell asleep.
That’s when I got the urge to go through his phone. I know what most people will say about that, it was really shitty, but we haven’t done that to each other in years so it was very weird I suddenly felt like I needed to. It was completely clean and there was literally nothing that bothered me, until I went to his google search history.
It was ALL GAY P VIDEOS. Literally all of it. Shemale, femboy, straight up ‘regular’ gay p, you name it. There was NO hetero p from what I saw.
This isn’t the first time he’s done something that’s made me question his sexuality. We’ve explored peg ging, which he loved so much he got a bit obsessive about it, like touching his nether region is all he wanted at one point. I haven’t done it in a long time, and I think he’s picked up on that because he’s relaxed a lot. But still brings it up often.
Once he was looking through his camera roll with me next to him, and I saw pics of him in girls underwear. We had a long emotional talk, he explained it was just part of his fetish for butt stuff, and I asked him if he’s gay or at least bi, and he said no. I told him I would always love him no matter what and if he was he could tell me. He got really mad, and insisted that wasn’t the case. So I dropped it and we never talked about the pictures again.
He’s always made really overly homophobic comments, not only am I bisexual (he’s aware of this) but most of the people I’m closest to are some type of queer, so we would often get into heated arguments regarding the lgbt+ community. He would always just really over play it, and I let it slide bc I’d always had an inkling he was probably bi himself and not ready to admit like most people who grew up in religious settings like himself.
All of this has happened months and even a couple years apart. So up until the gay p I never really thought he was fully gay.
If anyone sees this PLEASE give me advice on how to approach this. I can’t just break up with him without reason, and especially without knowing for certain. After 7 years I need some type of clarity. I’ve tried to move on before and we ALWAYS come back together. I don’t know how to approach this situation, I get that it’s going to be VERY sensitive for him, I don’t want to force him to come out to me, but I need something after spending 1/3 of my life loving and being with him. Again sorry if this is poorly worded and doesn’t make sense.
TL;DR I found gay p on my boyfriend’s phone after 7 years of being together, and along with other incidents. I have no idea how to handle this situation, he’s always been a bit overly “homophobic” and I need advice on how to handle this without making him feel cornered or forcing him to come out if he isn’t ready.

Dear Cowboy, The chances of you finding this letter here are, well, slim to none. Here, it goes anyway. I like the sweet things you said and the cute names you called me. It was surprising and it made me smile.. You are very welcome to keep this up if you want. I have been afraid I would slip, call you something cute, and you would get frightened. I can not have that. You are a brave and strong man and always will be. The truth is I saw your fear early on. I won't use it against you, relax. Your secrets are protected. Btw, I meant it when I told you I have never thought of you as temporary. I never did, and I will not ever. Thinking about the fact you thought that enough to make a poorly disguised joke about it makes me sad. You not being a part of my life would drive me to tears, and break my chilled heart. The idea of you being in my life temporarily is heartbreaking. We both know cowgirls don’t cry. Their hearts break, but they don’t. They are protective. Now that that is off my chest. It's your turn, Cowboy, to plan the next ride. So, hurry up. Don’t let too much time slip through your hands between trail rides. The saddles are calling. Giddyup Cowboy. -Your cowgirl

This story is about a boy who have a trauma from his past ex-girlfriend. Their relationship did not last long but he always experience abuse from his ex like hitting him for no reason. They always argue because of her, always coming home from work drunk, gaslighting him for everything she's doing. It's a very toxic relationship. At first it's not like this but as soon as she lost interest, everything changed. One time, the boy caught her cheating, having an affair with her co-worker, but he just let it slide because the boy loved her ex-girlfriend so much, that even after what he see, he still love her. Good thing though his ex-girlfriend finally decided to break up with him day after that, and of course, the boy let him go. The boy still love her and it's hard for him to move on.
A few months later, he met this new girl on his work named Kayla. Kayla is a pretty girl with a good personality. The boy laid eye on her, can't take his eyes off her for the whole day. Just as he's about to leave his work, Kayla noticed him and approached the boy. "Hey what's your name?" Kayla asked. "My name is Carl" the boy replied. "Carl, that's a cute name, nice meeting you, my name is Karla by the way" said Karla "It's nice meeting you too Karla" said the boy. As they walk nonchalantly, Karla suddenly asked out of the blue, "So, are you doing fine? I heard that your girlfriend just broke up with you a few months ago" Carl replied, "How did you know?" Then Karla said "Well, me and Hannah were talking about you earlier, she told me that you have been going through a lot lately, so i wonder if I can do anything to help? I don't want to see my co-worker being upset" Carl answered, "Why do you even care? I'm just a nobody, my life means nothing.. I don't feel like i deserve to be loved.." Karla then replied "I know life is hard, and it's not true that your life means nothing, you are borned in this world for a reason. And you deserve to be loved, you're a handsome boy, smart and kind, you deserve to be love, you're not just a nobody, you're somebody." Carl then felt a spark in his heart after what Karla said to him. Carl felt something in his face, "am i crying?" He then covered his face, then Karla noticed, "Hey are you crying? Did i say something wrong? It's okay, you can cry, i'm sorry for making you cry" Carl then answered, "I'm fine, thank you Karla." Carl then hugged Karla.
For weeks Carl and Karla have been going out, talking, vibing and even dating. One night after work, Karla asked Carl, "hey so uhm.. I've been wanting to ask you recently" Carl replied "what is it?" "Will you be my boyfriend?" Karla asked, Carl then felt a hesitate after he heard the question, "Is that a no?" Karla asked "Yes, i can be your boyfriend" said Carl. Then Karla hugged him, "I love you Carl" Carl then replied, "I love you too Carla"
After a few days Carl is being anxious lately, Karla noticed and asked Carl, "Darling are you alright? You don't look good for the past few days, i'm getting worried." Carl then replied, "It's just that.." Karla asked "Just what darling? Please say it, i will listen i promise." Carl answered, "It's just that i'm afraid.." Karla replied, "Don't be afraid darling, i will protect you no matter what. If it's about the trauma you felt from your ex-girlfriend, i promise i won't do anything cruel to you, i love you darling, please don't be afraid." Carl then cried and Karla hugged him.
After a few months, their relationship is going pretty well. Carl and Karla love each other so much, they can't be separated no matter what happens, they're always together through thick and thin. But would their relationship last long?
One day after work, Karla is not feeling good. "Darling maybe you should get some rest, you don't look good. While you rest, how about i prepare some food how's that sound?" Said Carl. "Thank you darling, you're so sweet" Karla replied. Then suddenly while Karla is walking to her room, she fainted. "Darling are you alright?" Carl asked. Karla is not waking up, and Carl is worried. Carl picked her up and rushed to his car to get Karla to the Hospital. Luckily Karla made it. In the hospital, Carl asked the doctor if Karla is alright, the Doctor said, "Mr.Carl, i'm sorry to tell you this but.. She has cancer, Stage 3." Carl then suddenly got a heavy heart, shaking and couldn't even speak properly, the doctor then asked Carl to have some rest. Carl is angry and depressed about what he heard.
A month later... Karla is fighting her cancer, Carl supporting Karla by staying with her 24/7. Karla then whispered to Carl "Till death do us part .." Carl doesn't know that that will be her last word to him.. After a week, Karla didn't make it. She died of Cancer. Carl then felt sadness once again.
A day later after Karla's burial, Carl then rush home, tied a rope on the ceiling and said "Till death do us part" softly... And then he hung his self.
"Till death do us part" was their last word. The end.

dysphoria sucks ass. like it's an absolute struggle for me. and I don't think I'm alone, because many people in the community suffer from dysphoria, I'm just not sure if they get me fully. it's only my Tommy kin giving me it.
don't get me wrong, yes, of course I try to deal with it.
I change into clothes that I used to wear in my past life, anything similar I can get. I listen to the two tracks I was practically obsessed with, I wear my usual green bandana, I bind my chest. I also reconnect with my source, try to search for memories, go on walks and practice hobbies to distract myself. I do many things which are on my list in case I need to help myself or anyone else.
however lately these things haven't been helping at all. I don't know if I'm being egocentric and narcissistic but whenever I see a Tommy double I either want to do something really stupid to myself or throw a tantrum, even break my two year sh streak which im proud of so far, it's been long. (rggrhd "tantrum" funny word 😭). It keeps me up at night and I can't seem to stop being anxious or in a bad mood. I can do little things (like yesterday I went to the beach) to distract myseld but later on the same inavlid feeling kicked in. seeing doubles feels so wrong, and it's only for this specific kin. it's like seeing someone identical to you walking down the bloody street. like what am I supposed to do? is that a skinwalker? is this a joke? literally way far out of my comfort zone.
I've talked to a friend about this and they say I just don't like doubles. yes, indeed I don't. but that doesn't mean that I need to spiral into hate for them. and I can't control it either. I feel like I'm going insane.