Hi, this is my first post anywhere, i've read other posts about this exact question but i can no longer reply so i'm trying to start a conversation here, i'm gonna specify the question so it's not a repost.
I'm interested in this topic because to me it seems like a necessary skill to have in order to date anyone, since i'm not good with body language and ambiguity this has lead me to feeling alone romantically, some poeple say you can have realtionships without knowing about flirting but to me it seems like it drastically reduces my possibilities.
Looking at how other people describe the practice of flirting, to me it looks like to be all about being indirect about your intentions so it doesn't kill the mood.
In a way it looks like you need to hide your intentions as a means to an end, because often directness is scary and kills romantic or sexual tension (i've read many people say that).
If you have certain intentions but have to mantain a conversation acting as like you don't hold those intentions then it looks like a white lie to me, so it's not like a lie that leads to harm, who flirts is not a bad or immoral person in my eyes, but nonetheless he is not being honest.
To illustrate what i mean i created 2 scenarios, please tell me if these are too irrealistic or specific.
SCENARIO #1
I see a complete stranger and i'd like to approach.
Since my interest is based on looks this has a less romantic and more sexual intention behind it (maybe this is bad?).
If i want to ask them if they see me the same way i can't be direct, i have to first apporach a complete stranger like is nothing new and talk about hair or outfit (things i have not a great interest in) and then use body language and indirect jabs too se if they're really interested.
This whole conversation about other topics is created just to avoid a pretty simple question for which i already know the answer on my part.
At some point, even indirectly, that question will be put forward needing and answer, and it's there when you understand if it's approptiate to continue or maybe better to take a step back.
But until then you have just omitted to tell your true intentions, at least in my eyes.
SCENARIO #2
I have a crush on someone i know for some time.
I need to understand if they have some kind of interest in me, so i have to send singals that are indirect so it doesn't hurt the preexisting friendship.
I have to pretend that everything is like before when everything has already changed, to me here the lying starts as soon as you fall for your crush and don't tell them.
Maybe you can start to behave a little different from usual, trying show something on your part, to put the idea in their heads, but you have to not open yourself about your feelings until the crush signals something back, otherwise is a shot in the dark and you risk ruining everything.
Also here, until you get to the disambiguation move, you are lying about the intent behind your interactions.
As a conclusion, flirting to me seems like an ingenious way to apporach somebody while protecting your ego from direct rejection, but it also looks to me like a waste of time and redundant.
If i have to say something why do i have to dance around it for hours? Why our brain is wired in a way that makes us hate directness (just when it come to romantic relationships)?
Many people describe flirting as being honest whithout being clear about what you want but it seems so paradoxical to me, not saying objectively false phrases is not the same as not lying.
Any thoughts? What does flirting mean to you? How is flirting different from just being social and extroverted? Can you flirt without being dishonest about your intentions? Do you see any problematic ideas about flirting in my post? Am i hopeless?
Thanks for reading, have a nice day.

Introduction

The bible and more specifically in this topic, the NT claim to be 'divinely inspired' by professing Christians of most walks. Without even getting into the discussion of what it means for a text to be divinely inspired it denotes some amount of involvement by God in its authorship.
I would like to bring up the issue over the authors of the New Testament books. For all intents and purposes I will stick to using terms that most appropriately fit. So hence the definitions
Pseudepigrapha: A work which is falsely attributed to an author whilst the the text may or may not claim it was written by said author
Forgery: A work which is falsely attributed to an author while the text claims it is written by said author (a lie)
Now these are obviously similar for example a work can be a forgery and a pseudepigrapha both at the same time it can be claimed to be written by x and attributed to x author despite the claim for it being widely disputed from evidence. So for all intents and when I use the term Pseudepigrapha I will refer to a work which is falsely attributed an author WITHOUT the text claiming it was written by said author and forgery I will use to refer to a work which is falsely attributed to an author WITH the text claiming it was written by said author

Analysis

When it comes to the New Testament Cannon we can look at the gospels; Mark, Matthew, Luke and John. Many evangelical fundamentalists believe the names of the gospels are the actual disciples of Jesus or early followers who wrote them and this is never specified in the text so we can get that out of the way.
In fact in the gospel of Luke we get an endorsement of this viewpoint and an acknowledgement that the good news was first and foremost a circulating oral tradition

Many have undertaken to draw up an account of the things that have been fulfilled among us, just as they were handed down to us by those who from the first were eyewitnesses and servants of the word. With this in mind, since I myself have carefully investigated everything from the beginning, I too decided to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus, so that you may know the certainty of the things you have been taught. - Luke 1:1-4

Furthermore we get the catechism of the catholic church which seems to acknowledge the authorship as such

The written Gospels. "The sacred authors, in writing the four Gospels, selected certain of the many elements which had been handed on, either orally or already in written form; others they synthesized or explained with an eye to the situation of the churches, the while sustaining the form of preaching, but always in such a fashion that they have told us the honest truth about Jesus.

2nd edition CCC 124:3
So by in large these works are pseudepigrapha. They do not claim to be written by said authors even if in common parlance they may be thought to be. The only exception here is John, where it claims to be written by a John but not John of Zebedee (an apostle) a common name so that is at least plausible. In the case the gospels do not contain misinformation or lies about authorship.
Once you get to the Pauline epistles things get messy.
I'll be drawing a lot from Bart Ehrmans works here, the go to source for this is Forged, or Forged and Counterforged.
To skip the riff-raff see this video by Dan Maclellan on why the Pastoral Epistles are widely doubted even amongst critical scholars, even amongst those with a faith commitment.
The consensus approximation: Link to an article and the image
As we can see not a single scholar things that Paul wrote Hebrews and less than 25% believe that he wrote 1 Timothy, 2 Timothy and Titus and >50% believe he did not write that while the rest are uncertain.
And before anyone rejects this as secular liberal 21st century scholarship, this is an opinion that has been in circulation since the start of the 19th century and widely accepted amongst scholars before the turn of the 20th century

Evidence for non-Pauline authorship

Heres a summarised list of arguments for the non-Pauline authorship

• The oldest manuscript of the Pauline epistles P46 dated to 175-225 AD does not include the pastorals
• The earliest attestation of Pauls work comes from Marcion who can only be described as a Pauline fanatic so much so that he viewed Paul to be the one true Apostle of Christ. Despite his infatuation with Pauls theology and works the Pastorals are not included in the Marcionite canon and there is no evidence that he even knew about them up until his death around 160 AD
• Early Christians rejected 1 and 2 Timothy according to Origen and Clement of Alexandria
• Uses an entirely different set of phrases, letters and text not seen in any of Pauls previous works (Bart Ehrman has a long list of these)
• A different linguistic style
• The letters especially in Timothy discuss church structure, ordinance and management. Something that was not a concern until well after Pauls execution at least a century after Pauls death.

Content
1 Timothy

• Timothy has a different view of theology that is at odds with Pauline letters
• The treatment of women. In 1 Timothy 2:12 we get the infamous "I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet." This directly contradicts Romans which is confidently Pauline where he writes about the involvement of Pheobe and Junia (2 women) as disciples of Christ and highly regarded in the church through their works. Pauls authentic letters do not show him raising any objection to women and their role in the church yet the author of 1 Timothy is very strictly opposed to it.
• In 1 Timothy 4:14 the author states charisma is delivered by laying of hands from elders. In Romans 6 Paul states the charisma is through baptism.

2 Timothy

• Similar to 1 Timothy, Romans is again contradicted through the transmission of the charisma by elders rather than baptism
• Pauls life situation is at odds which the chronology attested to Paul. 2 Timothy. If it were genuinely Pauline he should be in prison or facing trial yet none of the text correspond to that making it nigh impossible to attribute it to him.

There is also Ephesians

• Theres quite a lot to synthesize but I will link to this thread in AskBibleScholars as its far more comprehensive than I can hope to write.

Titus

• The author of the text knows that Crete has been Christianized 1:15, something that wouldn't happen until the 2nd century at the earliest well after Pauls death.

Evidence of Intentional Deceit

So far I have only built a case for pseudepigrapha at the very least. From now on I will add context that allows me to make the assertion that this is not only pseudepigrapha but is intentional deceit in writing hence a Forgery
1, 2 Timothy, Titus, Ephesians all start of from the directly presented as letters from Paul the Apostle to Timothy and to Titus in the opening texts. I cant be bothered pasting them all but you can search for yourself to confirm. The author does not claim to be a disciple of Paul or one of Pauls students the author explicitly states he is Paul and that he is writing to said audience. These claims are LIES and there are no two way around it. You cannot claim to be someone who you are not, if you do you are lying and it does not matter if you are in actuality the student of someone (withstanding the fact we have no evidence the author ever met Paul).
Bart Ehrman points out (and other scholars) that 2 Timothy is littered with verisimilitudes, that is the author claiming to be Paul continuously barrages the reader with biographical detail in excess that is commonplace in forgeries. Just read through 2 Timothy and contrast it with something like Romans or Philemon. Paul constantly appeals to his backstory and status whereas his other letters are straightforward and to the point assuming that whoever on the receiving end knows who he is for granted.
Refuting Objections
The most commonplace: objection is that pseudepigrapha was commonplace in the Christian world therefore not deceitful. First of all just because something is commonplace it does not change the fundamental fact that a lie is a lie.
Also this is just patently false and is actually rejected by Paul himself!
In 2 Thessalonians 2:2 and 3:17 a book that a majority regard as authentic to Paul, he warns of those false teachers who may use Pauls name. Something the Pastorals and Ephesians clearly do which is rebuked by Paul himself. This also goes against everything and anything we know about Early church tradition as there is an entire list of books that were rejected by the early Church fathers due to their message and authorship, this includes works such as 3 Corinthians which was correctly identified to be a forgery as well as the Epistle of Barnabas. We have surmounting evidence that false attribution of texts was viewed as a horrific action by early Jews, Christians and Paul himself. People who state that this practice was well accepted have nothing but apologetic nonsense with no real world evidence to back it up.
We also have evidence that scribes who lie when recording matters of faith disobey God and commit sin as well as taint the message and the law to be followed to the believer(s).

How can you say, “We are wise, for we have the law of the LORD,” when actually the lying pen of the scribes has handled it falsely? Jeremiah 8:8-9

Hence we know that even within Jewish thought this practice is a great evil.

Summary

There are works in the Biblical cannon that are forgeries littered with deceit, many of which begin the text by stating a lie and claiming a false author.

Conclusions
Unless one can surmount a case that not only refutes a plethora of data and facts that univariably point towards forged authorship of works that are falsely attributed to Paul as well as long withstanding academic consensus for other a century, the believer has to accept one or more of the following as they naturally follow.

1. God lies and promotes lies and liars through divine inspiration.
2. The work(s) of the New Testament are not divinely inspired
3. Only some of the New Testament Canon is divinely inspired, the forged texts are not
4. God divinely inspired both Authors (2 at a minimum) Paul and the author of the non-Pauline letters to write about matters of faith including directly contradictory passages where Paul affirms and recognizes the role of women in church whilst simultaneously having pseudo-Paul reject a woman to teach in church. Not even mentioning contradictory views on charisma, faith, the flesh and works between Paul and Pseudo Paul.
5. Last but not least, the most simple conclusion. None of it is divinely inspired whatsoever

Introduction

The bible and more specifically in this topic, the NT claim to be 'divinely inspired' by professing Christians of most walks. Without even getting into the discussion of what it means for a text to be divinely inspired it denotes some amount of involvement by God in its authorship.
I would like to bring up the issue over the authors of the New Testament books. For all intents and purposes I will stick to using terms that most appropriately fit. So hence the definitions
Pseudepigrapha: A work which is falsely attributed to an author whilst the the text may or may not claim it was written by said author
Forgery: A work which is falsely attributed to an author while the text claims it is written by said author (a lie)
Now these are obviously similar for example a work can be a forgery and a pseudepigrapha both at the same time it can be claimed to be written by x and attributed to x author despite the claim for it being widely disputed from evidence. So for all intents and when I use the term Pseudepigrapha I will refer to a work which is falsely attributed an author WITHOUT the text claiming it was written by said author and forgery I will use to refer to a work which is falsely attributed to an author WITH the text claiming it was written by said author

Analysis

When it comes to the New Testament Cannon we can look at the gospels; Mark, Matthew, Luke and John. Many evangelical fundamentalists believe the names of the gospels are the actual disciples of Jesus or early followers who wrote them and this is never specified in the text so we can get that out of the way.
In fact in the gospel of Luke we get an endorsement of this viewpoint and an acknowledgement that the good news was first and foremost a circulating oral tradition

Many have undertaken to draw up an account of the things that have been fulfilled among us, just as they were handed down to us by those who from the first were eyewitnesses and servants of the word. With this in mind, since I myself have carefully investigated everything from the beginning, I too decided to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus, so that you may know the certainty of the things you have been taught. - Luke 1:1-4

Furthermore we get the catechism of the catholic church which seems to acknowledge the authorship as such

The written Gospels. "The sacred authors, in writing the four Gospels, selected certain of the many elements which had been handed on, either orally or already in written form; others they synthesized or explained with an eye to the situation of the churches, the while sustaining the form of preaching, but always in such a fashion that they have told us the honest truth about Jesus.

2nd edition CCC 124:3
So by in large these works are pseudepigrapha. They do not claim to be written by said authors even if in common parlance they may be thought to be. The only exception here is John, where it claims to be written by a John but not John of Zebedee (an apostle) a common name so that is at least plausible. In the case the gospels do not contain misinformation or lies about authorship.
Once you get to the Pauline epistles things get messy.
I'll be drawing a lot from Bart Ehrmans works here, the go to source for this is Forged, or Forged and Counterforged.
To skip the riff-raff see this video by Dan Maclellan on why the Pastoral Epistles are widely doubted even amongst critical scholars, even amongst those with a faith commitment.
The consensus approximation: Link to an article and the image
As we can see not a single scholar things that Paul wrote Hebrews and less than 25% believe that he wrote 1 Timothy, 2 Timothy and Titus and >50% believe he did not write that while the rest are uncertain.
And before anyone rejects this as secular liberal 21st century scholarship, this is an opinion that has been in circulation since the start of the 19th century and widely accepted amongst scholars before the turn of the 20th century

Evidence for non-Pauline authorship

Heres a summarised list of arguments for the non-Pauline authorship

• The oldest manuscript of the Pauline epistles P46 dated to 175-225 AD does not include the pastorals
• The earliest attestation of Pauls work comes from Marcion who can only be described as a Pauline fanatic so much so that he viewed Paul to be the one true Apostle of Christ. Despite his infatuation with Pauls theology and works the Pastorals are not included in the Marcionite canon and there is no evidence that he even knew about them up until his death around 160 AD
• Early Christians rejected 1 and 2 Timothy according to Origen and Clement of Alexandria
• Uses an entirely different set of phrases, letters and text not seen in any of Pauls previous works (Bart Ehrman has a long list of these)
• A different linguistic style
• The letters especially in Timothy discuss church structure, ordinance and management. Something that was not a concern until well after Pauls execution at least a century after Pauls death.

Content
1 Timothy

• Timothy has a different view of theology that is at odds with Pauline letters
• The treatment of women. In 1 Timothy 2:12 we get the infamous "I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet." This directly contradicts Romans which is confidently Pauline where he writes about the involvement of Pheobe and Junia (2 women) as disciples of Christ and highly regarded in the church through their works. Pauls authentic letters do not show him raising any objection to women and their role in the church yet the author of 1 Timothy is very strictly opposed to it.
• In 1 Timothy 4:14 the author states charisma is delivered by laying of hands from elders. In Romans 6 Paul states the charisma is through baptism.

2 Timothy

• Similar to 1 Timothy, Romans is again contradicted through the transmission of the charisma by elders rather than baptism
• Pauls life situation is at odds which the chronology attested to Paul. 2 Timothy. If it were genuinely Pauline he should be in prison or facing trial yet none of the text correspond to that making it nigh impossible to attribute it to him.

There is also Ephesians

• Theres quite a lot to synthesize but I will link to this thread in AskBibleScholars as its far more comprehensive than I can hope to write.

Titus

• The author of the text knows that Crete has been Christianized 1:15, something that wouldn't happen until the 2nd century at the earliest well after Pauls death.

Evidence of Intentional Deceit

So far I have only built a case for pseudepigrapha at the very least. From now on I will add context that allows me to make the assertion that this is not only pseudepigrapha but is intentional deceit in writing hence a Forgery
1, 2 Timothy, Titus, Ephesians all start of from the directly presented as letters from Paul the Apostle to Timothy and to Titus in the opening texts. I cant be bothered pasting them all but you can search for yourself to confirm. The author does not claim to be a disciple of Paul or one of Pauls students the author explicitly states he is Paul and that he is writing to said audience. These claims are LIES and there are no two way around it. You cannot claim to be someone who you are not, if you do you are lying and it does not matter if you are in actuality the student of someone (withstanding the fact we have no evidence the author ever met Paul).
Bart Ehrman points out (and other scholars) that 2 Timothy is littered with verisimilitudes, that is the author claiming to be Paul continuously barrages the reader with biographical detail in excess that is commonplace in forgeries. Just read through 2 Timothy and contrast it with something like Romans or Philemon. Paul constantly appeals to his backstory and status whereas his other letters are straightforward and to the point assuming that whoever on the receiving end knows who he is for granted.
Refuting Objections
The most commonplace: objection is that pseudepigrapha was commonplace in the Christian world therefore not deceitful. First of all just because something is commonplace it does not change the fundamental fact that a lie is a lie.
Also this is just patently false and is actually rejected by Paul himself!
In 2 Thessalonians 2:2 and 3:17 a book that a majority regard as authentic to Paul, he warns of those false teachers who may use Pauls name. Something the Pastorals and Ephesians clearly do which is rebuked by Paul himself. This also goes against everything and anything we know about Early church tradition as there is an entire list of books that were rejected by the early Church fathers due to their message and authorship, this includes works such as 3 Corinthians which was correctly identified to be a forgery as well as the Epistle of Barnabas. We have surmounting evidence that false attribution of texts was viewed as a horrific action by early Jews, Christians and Paul himself. People who state that this practice was well accepted have nothing but apologetic nonsense with no real world evidence to back it up.
We also have evidence that scribes who lie when recording matters of faith disobey God and commit sin as well as taint the message and the law to be followed to the believer(s).

How can you say, “We are wise, for we have the law of the LORD,” when actually the lying pen of the scribes has handled it falsely? Jeremiah 8:8-9

Hence we know that even within Jewish thought this practice is a great evil.

Summary

There are works in the Biblical cannon that are forgeries littered with deceit, many of which begin the text by stating a lie and claiming a false author.

Conclusions
Unless one can surmount a case that not only refutes a plethora of data and facts that univariably point towards forged authorship of works that are falsely attributed to Paul as well as long withstanding academic consensus for other a century, the believer has to accept one or more of the following as they naturally follow.

1. God lies and promotes lies and liars through divine inspiration.
2. The work(s) of the New Testament are not divinely inspired
3. Only some of the New Testament Canon is divinely inspired, the forged texts are not
4. God divinely inspired both Authors (2 at a minimum) Paul and the author of the non-Pauline letters to write about matters of faith including directly contradictory passages where Paul affirms and recognizes the role of women in church whilst simultaneously having pseudo-Paul reject a woman to teach in church. Not even mentioning contradictory views on charisma, faith, the flesh and works between Paul and Pseudo Paul.
5. Last but not least, the most simple conclusion. None of it is divinely inspired whatsoever

This is gonna be a long one.
Recently I wrote a lengthy journal entry about my dating arc which has only begun as I've shed my former INTP self. Specifically, it was about understanding what I'm attracted to/seeking from the perspectives of physique, character, and core values or worldview. On the last topic, it begins...

Shared values

This is unquestionably the most difficult of the three. It's not hard to find people I'm physically attracted to, and I come across a fair amount of people whose character I find compelling, but on matters like life philosophy and worldview, I've yet to find anyone who truly embodies them. Many of my close friends would understand and endorse the principles I live by, but they might not see the world in quite the same way. (Or maybe, like me, they're too P to take much action on some of them!)
I'm beginning to think some of my worldviews are anti-correlated, perhaps in the same way that mathematicians generally spurn the pursuit of real world knowledge. [Note: I love math and studied it at uni.] This is possibly a result of their love of elegance and tendency to compress knowledge into as little memorisation as possible, to later rederive anything they need (a process I call ZIP-filing). In this way the emphasis shifts from acquiring mathematical knowledge to developing mathematical ability. But I've found that the skills I've picked up while doing math has helped me find patterns, form connections, and make categorisations in real world that I haven't seen many other people make. It may be a pity that mathematicians feel the way they do about general knowledge.

Some of my close friends have since read my journal entry and told me that not only do my values resonate strongly with them, they also appreciate the way I've expressed them in writing. I was surprised because I didn't expect this much... resonance. But then I realised that I almost never talk about my core values with anyone, much less list them out. (It's certainly been an exercise for my trickster Fi!)
So perhaps, more people resonate with my core values than I previously thought. And that made me curious... how would different MBTI types relate to these core values?

• I would like to climb the mountain of knowledge. There are many curious people out there in the world, but meeting someone whose curiosity matches or exceeds mine is rare. I would say people in the quizbowl community and many intuitive (N) types embody this trait.
  
• I would like to become a generalist. I am interested in practically everything, and how it all relates to each other. To me, there is a greater-than-linear correlation between accumulating interdisciplinary knowledge and real-world understanding. I like to use the analogy of a translator who knows 10 languages fluently being not just 5 times more able than a translator who knows 2, but 45 times more able! I would like to read all the undergraduate textbooks on the major university disciplines at some point, I've even tried (though failed) to set up my own schedule for doing this. I have even started using Anki to systematically memorise information. To me, many generalists in quizbowl embody this trait, though I think even quizbowl generalists generally don't *study* the material they are memorising, they mostly read about and memorise it.
  
• My mountain of knowledge also includes skills and experiences. All sorts of skills from physical to mental to social, and all sorts of experiences including travel, nature, entertainment, and even just listening to other people's experiences. But life is so fragile, constrained, and fleeting, so there is a certain despair about it all, perhaps best described as occhiolism ("the awareness of the smallness of your perspective ... about the world or the past or the complexities of culture ..."). There isn't really a group or community that I'd say embodies this trait. This zest for life may be most closely embodied by the community of extreme travellers.
  
• I'm what I call an expansive hedonist, which might be best summed up in the phrase: everything you don't love is one less way to enjoy life. I believe that many (even most!) of the things each person finds pleasure in is an acquired taste, like playing piano or eating spicy food, and I also believe that personal preferences are more plastic than most people think. Taken beyond mere preferences, you could say that to get the most out of life, you should first get the most out of yourself. This growth mindset isn't really associated with any demographic or community as far as I'm aware.
  
• I observe the world and try to explain its behaviour. The world ain't really that tough, we just don't understand it enough. Through this understanding I feel more confident in my ability to change the world.
  
• Everyone knows something you don't, and most are willing to share it with you if you listen to them. You have to be curious enough to want to know that information and open-minded enough to really listen. This sentiment applies not just to knowledge, but also to judgements of people's character.
  
• At the end of the day, I hope that I can contribute to society in an important way. When my parents found out I cared more about society than maths, they told me that I should become a politician. After all, they said, leaders have the biggest influence on people's lives. But there is one kind of person whose influence on people's lives have historically been and still are far greater than that of politicians, and that is the philosophers. I hope that by gathering wisdom and thinking deeply, I can help humanity progress through this critical period of human civilisation.
  
• The more I revisit this clip from Good Will Hunting, the more I resonate with it. It may be the best 5-minute summary you can get of all of the above. [I am proud to say I have smelled the Sistine Chapel!]
  

So my question to you all is, what is your MBTI and how strongly do each of the core values resonate with you? And if it's most of them, are there any you would add for yourself?

When I was 18 and about to start college, I created a quiz for myself called "Is it a Crush of Convenience?" I have used various language to describe my pattern of spiraling into romantic fantasies of someone with little to no substantiation from reality- now I call it "limerence", even if that's not necessarily accurate (but it's the only space that I can really talk about this), but back then they were "crushes of convenience", and, a few years later when I learned I had ADHD, "romantic hyperfixations". I rewrote the quiz two years later after my CPTSD diagnosis, but hadn't thought of or used it in a long time, assuming that, like most things I wrote 3-6 years ago, it would be largely obsolete.
I decided to test my two most recent crushes/limerence objects/whatever against the old criteria. It holds up surprisingly well, despite some of the questions being phrased weirdly and the entire test being centered around a concept that no longer quite exists in the same way (at this stage I still thought that the "what if" upon meeting an attractive guy was pathological, and not a fleeting thought that would go away within minutes if ignored). Both of them got scores of 26 under the 2020 criteria, and scores of 24 and 23 respectively under the 2018 criteria. Under the 2018 criteria, a score of 15 to 25 was: "chances are they're someone you could genuinely like outside of convenience, but the problem lies within you... try to disassociate them from those feelings of desperation and helplessness". A score of 25 to 35 was, "they're probably a crush of convenience who you've become overly familiar with... Chances are you don't know if you want to be with them, they've been playing 'now you see me, now you don't' with you, and they take up at least 40% of your psychotherapy sessions. Ask yourself: are you getting anything out of this, and is there anything about this person that is worth fighting for? If the answer is "yes", you need to have a talk with them- now, not in 3 years. If it's "no", time to pack up and move on- they're not worth driving yourself insane over".
The entire thing aged like extremely bitter wine. That last situation in particular got dragged out and made (by my brain) into a much bigger deal than it ever needed to be because I didn't communicate when it would have been appropriate. I wrote that almost FIVE YEARS before that happened. 18 year old me knew what I should do in such a situation, but 23 year old me couldn't do it and instead reverted to primitive, childlike hiding (well, could you even say I "reverted" when I've only ever responded to situations that way?)
This is, I think, the most frustrating part about CPTSD freeze response: the painful self-awareness. You know your behavior is maladaptive. You might even know why you engage in maladaptive behaviors. You know, or at least have an idea, of how you need to change your behavior. But you don't. It's like being in a nightmare where you're paralyzed and can't run from the monster. And the next thing you know, you're looking back at something you wrote to try to coach yourself through an issue 6 years ago, still experiencing the same issue and needing the exact same advice that you didn't apply 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, or 1 year ago and probably won't even start applying now. If 18 year old me was so wise, why on God's green earth is 24 year old me such a disappointment to myself?

I plan to kill myself today. I already made progress so far. I'm already on 3000 mg of Tylenol in the past hour. I plan to take 2 more before my exam and then go back to my apartment and take 6 more. Honestly, I don't know what I'll do then. Maybe I'll stay in my apartment and slowly die or maybe I'll drive up north and take them thier. I don't know. I honestly thought coming to college would help cure my problems. It never did really. It just made them worse. I have an exam in a few hours and I know I'm going to fail it. And if I do I'll lose my HOPE scholarship for good this time since I've already lost it in the past. Makes sense don't know why trash like me decides to dream. You know I hate the phrase you got " to hope" or "you got to believe" I always found it idiotic, you ignore reality and you believe in a lie. Is idiotic. I've tried hope. I hoped so much but people never tell you what happens when it's gone. Watching it snuff out and leaving you in the dark. And then you try again you light up the torch of hope thinking this time it will be different but it won't it'll happen again addinfinitum.No one describe how much that can drive you insane. Being left in the dark again. Expect this time the darkness is darker than before and it just keeps getting darker. It hurts. I've tried a lot of things you know stoicism,exestinolism, absurdism, therapy, nihilism, and even those stupid ( red pill and black pill) they never worked. I honestly think people like me are a mistake. We somehow got past the barrier, but life's calling is back (whether it be god or nature, who knows) they make us like this to remind us that if we don't do it this is what life has in store for us. The endless cycle of torment so do it. Pull the trigger it won't get better. And people say "No don't do it how about your friends and family" I don't care anymore, I'm sorry I relay don't. I guess that makes me a bad person, maybe that's what I wanted all along to be seen as a bad person, or maybe I was always a bad person no matter how much I tried to convince myself I wasn't. But I can't help it. The pain and anger in my chest hurt so much. Every day waking to the same ball in my chest that takes more and more of you each day.IM done. Life is a curse for people like me. It won't get better. I want it to go away. I'll make it go away. Im strong. I can do this last act. I found the strength to.
I don't know why I'm doing this. Typing this out. And I'm sorry to those who are reading this. I try to be as much of a nonproblem as I can to people. I'm not an egotist. At least, I don't think I am. Maybe this is a cry for help or maybe I just want attention or it could be a better explanation to my folks, if they find this, as to why I did it. It sure is a better explanation than the one I have in my pocket. It is full of such hurtful things. I'm sorry I was mad. I'm still mad. At everything. But it's mostly myself. I've always been mad at myself. It never really gets better at the end. I hate myself. I despise myself so much that I don't consider myself human. An animal, trash, waste. These are better descriptions of what I am, I have no worth and will never have worth. People always say you have to be nice to yourself, be kinder. Why would I be kind to trash?
I thought coming here would make it better, but it never did. You can't take that part out of me. I wanted it to stop. The loneliness the hate. It just got worse. Maybe I want people to find this. Maybe I want the school to find this. Maybe I want them to ban me from this school. I know that I self-sabotage myself a lot. I deserve all the pain. I want it to hurt. I want to slip further it that hole. In case this doesn't work.In case this isnt the one. I tried so many times. I've failed so many times. this just feels different though. I'm not sad I'm just angry. Not at other people's tho, I won't hurt people. I never will . I'll make sure I die before I ever think of doing that. I'm angry at myself. That's what got me to six pills so far. Being angry. I just know if this doesn't work I'll be in a further deeper hole. If I can just get deeper maybe I can find the strength there. Eventually, something breaks you know. So far it's my sanity. My brain doesn't work anymore. I've made sure of it. I don't want to think. If I think that is where the pain is. Maybe if I go deeper my survival instinct will break. that is the one thing holding me back. That stupid primordial need to survive. I can break that. My brain is mush I don't know what I'm thinking anymore. I don't. I just know it won't work. Therapy, talking to people, hope it never does, it will always be a cycle.
I've got myself to 3000 mg which is the recommended amount in a day Anything past that can lead to liver failure. This next to can hurt but I don't think it won't be enough. I need to make sure this works.

The plan of salvation is wonderfully summed up in a single line in D&C 88:

they shall return again to their own place, to enjoy that which they are willing to receive

To put it another way:
The Plan of Salvation is Heavenly Father's way of giving you what will make you most happy. This life is all about learning through your own experience what you want, who you are, and what will give you joy. Or, as President Nelson phrased it: "So, my dear brothers and sisters, how and where and with whom do you want to live forever? You get to choose."

Celestial Glory Ain't for Everybody.

Brother Wilcox offered the following insight in his wonderful talk, "His Grace is Sufficient":

...the older I get, and the more I understand this wonderful plan of redemption, the more I realize that in the final judgment it will not be the unrepentant sinner begging Jesus, “Let me stay.” No, he will probably be saying, “Get me out of here!” Knowing Christ’s character, I believe that if anyone is going to be begging on that occasion, it would probably be Jesus begging the unrepentant sinner, “Please, choose to stay. Please, use my Atonement—not just to be cleansed but to be changed so that you want to stay." The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can go home but that—miraculously—we can feel at home there. If Christ did not require faith and repentance, then there would be no desire to change. Think of your friends and family members who have chosen to live without faith and without repentance. They don’t want to change. They are not trying to abandon sin and become comfortable with God. Rather, they are trying to abandon God and become comfortable with sin. If Jesus did not require covenants and bestow the gift of the Holy Ghost, then there would be no way to change. We would be left forever with only willpower, with no access to His power. If Jesus did not require endurance to the end, then there would be no internalization of those changes over time. They would forever be surface and cosmetic rather than sinking inside us and becoming part of us—part of who we are. Put simply, if Jesus didn’t require practice, then we would never become pianists.

It is by our lived experiences that we come to understand what will give us joy. Are we happiest being free of burdens? Do we dream of a life of ease? Are we overwhelmed with joy when we help another? Are we happy growing and becoming better people? Each person has their own unique answers, and the atonement allows us to change even who we are -- if we want to.
But what about those who do evil? They go to Hell? Spirit Prison? Outer Darkness? What, exactly?

Evil People

We all fail to be perfect. Sometimes we even choose to do the wrong thing on purpose. From little lies to huge sins and major mistakes, we all fall short of perfection. But those actions don't define us. Our Father didn't create us to fail.
So we were given the gift of the Atonement.
The atonement: a way we could learn from our sins and mistakes without being condemned by them. A way we could learn over time and change our very characteristics according to our will.
But taking advantage of the Atonement is a choice. It's an action we make. It is free, but not forced on us.
Those who learn the law but choose to not repent get what they want, which includes the eventual consequences of their actions. Benjamin described it this way:

Therefore if that man repenteth not, and remaineth and dieth an enemy to God, the demands of divine justice do awaken his immortal soul to a lively sense of his own guilt, which doth cause him to shrink from the presence of the Lord, and doth fill his breast with guilt, and pain, and anguish, which is like an unquenchable fire, whose flame ascendeth up forever and ever.

And while this suffering is called "hell," or "the wrath of God," or "eternal punishment," the prophets of the Book of Mormon are clear that this is simply natural consequences of sin, not an inflicted vengeance.
But even these "evil people" can still accept the atonement. Even those who really WANT to sin are "redeemed in the due time of the Lord, after the sufferings of his wrath." And they, too, get a kingdom of glory: the promise of Heavenly Father made manifest in the Telestial Kingdom. A place where they can be happy without the demands of a higher law.
Want to be evil? There's a kingdom for that.

Something Else

So if Evil isn't the sole qualifying characteristic for Outer Darkness, what is?
Well, maybe we have a clue in the story of the 1/3 who rejected the plan of salvation. What was it that qualified them for outer darkness?
The "war in heaven" was fought over a single issue: agency. The ability to choose between good and evil, and the consequences that come with it.
When Satan tried to destroy the agency of God's children, this probably wasn't him offering to control everyone and force them to choose good. After all, why would 1/3 of all intelligent beings say "oh, that sounds nice. Please force your will upon me." I suggest that his plan was much more simple and appealing: Erase the line between good and evil. There is no such thing as good. There is no such thing as evil. No consequences. No Celestial. No Telestial. No Hell. Make your own rules cause nothing matters.
For those afraid of failure, or those who don't want consequences for their actions, this plan would be very very appealing.
But that reality can only exist in a place absent God. God is the great lawgiver. God created a universe of laws--a universe where it's possible to choose to do good or evil. He has told us that " All kingdoms have a law given;" (D&C 88:36) so to exist without a law means exile.
Heavenly father let them have what they are willing to receive: existence without the ability to choose to be good, or evil. A place without God in any degree.

The Big Problem

So how do I get there? Well, I missed the first exit: rebelling against God. So I'm here in mortal life now. What would it take to get to Outer Darkness?
From one standpoint, my actions don't matter. I'm going to be less than perfect. I'll make mistakes and therefore suffer the consequences of my mistakes. That means spirit prison, hell, suffering, or whatever you want to call it.
Now I have to wait. And wait. And suffer. And suffer. I must learn about the atonement - understand it perfectly - and still not accept it. Know with certainty what wrongs I have done - and still insist I'm right. To "deny the truth and defy [Christ's] power" (D&C 76:31)
This has to go on as the Celestial souls are resurrected, then the terrestrial, then the telestial. Suffering. Waiting. Rejecting the atonement. Denying the reality of my own experience.
No wonder the Lord said "it had been better for them never to have been born." (D&C 76:32) After all, those who were not born do not have to experience this suffering.
I have to experience completely what the consequences of my agency are. Suffering, sadness, misery. To know perfectly what Good and Evil are and how to choose between them, and all the ways I chose wrong. I have to be offered the atonement. I need to know perfectly how the atonement satisfies the law, and how mercy can apply to me. And with a straight face I have to say to God, "No, even though I am suffering for this sin, I insist that it is not actually a sin." or maybe "Even though I am suffering for this sin, this is your fault for making it a sin."
That's right. It's not the sin itself that sends you to outer darkness. It's the pride that prevents you from admitting it was a sin.
Imagine doing harm to a person, then completely, perfectly experiencing that harm for yourself. Then insisting that it was not actually harm. Like stabbing a person, having that wound transferred magically to yourself, and saying, "this is not a wound."
Finally, when it's all over, in complete sincerity, I have to say "Now that I know good and evil through my experiences, and I know the consequences of good and evil, I realize that what would make me most happy is if I had chosen to side with Satan. To have no right and wrong, no agency, no consequences or rewards. To be able to decide for myself what is 'good' and what is 'evil' without any objective truth to make me wrong."
And Heavenly Father gives them what they want. The body they were promised, and being returned to " that which they are willing to receive..." a place without law, outside any kingdom. (d&c 88)

So why the weeping and wailing?

With no atonement, that suffering doesn't actually get an end. The memories of your sins are forever, and the Lord will never force you to be healed. No wonder that this condition is described as weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.
And yet, for me to get there, I have to want to be "a law unto myself" more than I want to escape the consequences of my imperfection. "Being right" is so important that I willingly and knowingly bring Hell with me forever**.** That's what it takes to get to Outer Darkness.
That seems hard to believe, but even President Benson confirmed that it was this need to be right - this Pride - that was at the core of Satan's rebellion, or his choice to willingly go into Outer Darkness. (https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1989/04/beware-of-pride?lang=eng)
tl;dr: It's Narcissism & Pride. You have to be able to look God in the face and say, "Actually I'm God, and I don't want anything from you."

I plan to kill myself today. I already made progress so far. I'm already on 3000 mg of Tylenol in the past hour. I plan to take 2 more before my exam and then go back to my apartment and take 6 more. Honestly, I don't know what I'll do then. Maybe I'll stay in my apartment and slowly die or maybe I'll drive up north and take them thier. I don't know. I honestly thought coming to college would help cure my problems. It never did really. It just made them worse. I have an exam in a few hours and I know I'm going to fail it. And if I do I'll lose my HOPE scholarship for good this time since I've already lost it in the past. Makes sense don't know why trash like me decides to dream. You know I hate the phrase you got " to hope" or "you got to believe" I always found it idiotic, you ignore reality and you believe in a lie. Is idiotic. I've tried hope. I hoped so much but people never tell you what happens when it's gone. Watching it snuff out and leaving you in the dark. And then you try again you light up the torch of hope thinking this time it will be different but it won't it'll happen again addinfinitum. No one describe how much that can drive you insane. Being left in the dark again. Expect this time the darkness is darker than before and it just keeps getting darker. It hurts. I've tried a lot of things you know stoicism,exestinolism, absurdism, therapy, nihilism, and even those stupid ( red pill and black pill) they never worked. I honestly think people like me are a mistake. We somehow got past the barrier, but life's calling is back (whether it be god or nature, who knows) they make us like this to remind us that if we don't do it this is what life has in store for us. The endless cycle of torment so do it. Pull the trigger it won't get better. And people say "No don't do it how about your friends and family" I don't care anymore, I'm sorry I relay don't. I guess that makes me a bad person, maybe that's what I wanted all along to be seen as a bad person, or maybe I was always a bad person no matter how much I tried to convince myself I wasn't. But I can't help it. The pain and anger in my chest hurt so much. Every day waking to the same ball in my chest that takes more and more of you each day .IM done. Life is a curse for people like me. It won't get better. I want it to go away. I'll make it go away. Im strong. I can do this last act. I found the strength to.
I don't know why I'm doing this. Typing this out. And I'm sorry to those who are reading this. I try to be as much of a nonproblem as I can to people. I'm not an egotist. At least, I don't think I am. Maybe this is a cry for help or maybe I just want attention or it could be a better explanation to my folks, if they find this, as to why I did it. It sure is a better explanation than the one I have in my pocket. It is full of such hurtful things. I'm sorry I was mad. I'm still mad. At everything. But it's mostly myself. I've always been mad at myself. It never really gets better at the end. I hate myself. I despise myself so much that I don't consider myself human. An animal, trash, waste. These are better descriptions of what I am, I have no worth and will never have worth. People always say you have to be nice to yourself, be kinder. Why would I be kind to trash?
I thought coming here would make it better, but it never did. You can't take that part out of me. I wanted it to stop. The loneliness the hate. It just got worse. Maybe I want people to find this. Maybe I want the school to find this. Maybe I want them to ban me from this school. I know that I self-sabotage myself a lot. I deserve all the pain. I want it to hurt. I want to slip further it that hole. In case this doesn't work. In case this isnt the one. I tried so many times. I've failed so many times. this just feels different though. I'm not sad I'm just angry. Not at other people's tho, I won't hurt people. I never will . I'll make sure I die before I ever think of doing that. I'm angry at myself. That's what got me to six pills so far. Being angry. I just know if this doesn't work I'll be in a further deeper hole. If I can just get deeper maybe I can find the strength there. Eventually, something breaks you know. So far it's my sanity. My brain doesn't work anymore. I've made sure of it. I don't want to think. If I think that is where the pain is. Maybe if I go deeper my survival instinct will break. that is the one thing holding me back. That stupid primordial need to survive. I can break that. My brain is mush I don't know what I'm thinking anymore. I don't. I just know it won't work. Therapy, talking to people, hope it never does, it will always be a cycle.
I've got myself to 3000 mg which is the recommended amount in a day Anything past that can lead to liver failure. This next to can hurt but I don't think it won't be enough. I need to make sure this works.

Cooking? Is that what you call cooking? That atrocious, execrable pile of detritus you’ve put in front of me is supposed to be “cooking”? Cooking is only done by those that are capable, those that are aware of the careful care put into the measures of ingredients and blend of flavor in their creation. This, oh this is the very antithesis of culinary art. Nobody, no one, no THING would consider the pile of waste you brough to the table as anything remotely edible. There is no word or phrase that can describe how indelectable that creation is. You are not a chef, you have never been, and you will never be.
What you wrought here today is worthy of celebration: a dish so disgusting, so vile, so refusable that it makes rotting flesh akin to that of freshly cut flowers. Angels will weep and demons will sing as the world comes to its knees, brought to this point wholly due to the folly of your craft. Skin will crawl, babies will cry, and none shall be safe from the coming wake of calamity. Stealth Rock Kingambit is the work of the Beast, Nasty Plot Corviknight will never see the light of Heaven, and Iron Ball Blaziken is that 8th cardinal sin.
There is no escape from the fires of Hell, the 10th layer of suffering, the eternal punishment that awaits you. Your sins will not be forgiven, for Arceus’ mercy only goes so far. Remember that you brought this upon yourself, and there is no more turning back.

Below you will find a weekly reminder of our Rules and partial FAQ. It's definitely a long read, but it's worth your time, especially if you are new to the community, or dropping by as a result of a link you found elsewhere. We periodically revise our rules, this weekly notice will help keep you informed of any changes made.
NOTE: These rules are guidelines. Some moderation discretion is to be expected.

Community Rules

1. Kindness Matters

Advise, don't criticize.

• Post with empathy, thoughtfulness, and constructive commentary rather than judgment. Don't be an asshole.
• Name-calling, slurs (including gender or race based slurs), and insults towards other community members will not be tolerated. Do not attack others for their personally held values, custody situation, marital status, physical distance from stepkids, or economic status; or on the basis of race, sex, sexual orientation, age, religion, or ethnicity.
• No name-calling toward children, including the above-mentioned insults or the term "skids", or terms such as "mini-wife" or "mini-husband."
• Comments advocating spanking or any mention of wanting to harm children are not allowed.
• This is a support sub, not a judgement sub, assholes are not tolerated. Comments with terms used in other subs to pass judgement on assholes will be removed.

2. No Drama

This is a support sub.

• Bickering, nitpicking, and thread derailment will not be tolerated and will be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
• Do not repeatedly badger a poster demanding answers, or refuse to acknowledge an answer that's already been given.
• Do not use sensitive issues from past posts (either from this sub or other subs) to attack another user, as we are all discussing vulnerable topics.
• Crossposting anything from /stepparents to any other subreddit might result in a ban and may result in the original thread being locked. Brigading our sub will result in an immediate ban.

3. Report, Don’t Rant

No backseat modding.

• If you see someone breaking the rules, report the post or comment to the mods rather than engaging them in an argument. Failure to do so may be subject to comment removal at moderator discretion.
• No meta posts complaining about rude comments, DMs, or general sub issues.
• If you think someone is a troll or previously banned user, either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.

4. No Naming & Shaming

No userpings or links.

• Tagging/pinging users or other subreddits in an attempt to bully, harass, or complain will not be tolerated. Do not tag other subs, ever.
• If you want to complain about another subreddit being hostile to stepparents, do not name the subreddit. "Other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice.

5. No Platitudes

Nobody knew what they were getting into.

• Comments like "You knew what you were getting into", "Love them, love their kids!", "They're a package deal!" and "You have to love them like your own!" will be removed.
• Comments suggesting that OP is not cut out for stepparenting will be removed at moderator discretion.
• Comments like "This is just a part of parenting, deal with it!" will be removed at moderator discretion.

6. No Trolling

We have zero tolerance for trolls.

• This is a support sub. Our subscribers do not have the time, nor inclination, to provide support to internet trolls. Posts that are suspected to be trolling attempts will be immediately removed, and the poster banned.
• Concern trolling, devil's advocating, gish-galloping, sealioning, and general asshattery are subject to immediate removal and banning without warning or notice.
• Any attempt to circumvent the ban by creating a new username will be reported to reddit admins and possibly result in account suspension.

7. No Personally Identifiable Information

Use discretion when posting.

• We highly recommend using a separate account for support subs to help prevent being doxxed. Do not post any information that may allow others to figure out your identity.
• Do not post photos of children, or any other photo that could be used to identify you or another user on the sub.
• Any image that contains a name or other identifying information should have the name or identifying information blurred out. This includes drawings, notes, and screenshots.
• Do not link to social media or any articles/blogs where you or another user on the sub is mentioned by name.

8. No More than 2 Posts per 24 hours

Use the daily threads.

• We are not a huge sub, but we are no longer a small sub. If you have multiple grievances to air, use the daily discussion threads instead of multiple posts.

9. Follow Reddiquette

Remember the human.

• Adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life.
• Read it in full here.
• Downvoting is reserved for comments that don’t contribute, and shouldn't be used to indicate disagreement.
• If you believe someone is in violation of the subreddit rules, please either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.
• Suspected brigading will be reported to reddit admins.

10. No Porn, Spam, Blogs, or Research Studies/Surveys Without Mod Approval

Just don't.

• This is a SFW subreddit. Posting pornography will result in immediate post removal and permanent ban.
• Advertising on the subreddit (outside of Reddit's own advertising) is not allowed.
• No personal blog posts are allowed without express moderator permission.
• No advertising without prior mod approval.
• No asking for money/posting fundraisers/etc.
• For links to parenting research studies or surveys, please message the mods for permission before posting.

11. Disputes in Modmail Only

Don't argue with the mods on the sub.

• Any issues specifically related to how a mod is moderating should be addressed to the full moderating team via mod mail. This ensures that all mods are aware of any concerns and prevents disintegration of the topic thread at hand.
• This means to do not message or send chat requests to individual mods. All discussion and complaints about mod actions need to be done in mod mail ONLY. Failure to follow this rule can result in an immediate permanent ban.
• Comments in threads asking about mod decisions are subject to removal without notice.

12. Moderator Actions

We aren't kidding.

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

13. Ban Procedure

These actions are at moderator discretion.

• Pornography will result in an automatic permanent ban.
• Extremely egregious content will result in an immediate permanent ban.
• You may receive a 7 or 30 day temporary ban for first and second rule violations, depending upon severity.
• Continued rule violations will result in a permanent ban.
• Willful attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban.
• We recognize the reddit site-wide rules of using alt names to get around bans and will ban those as well as report them to reddit admins.

​
​

FAQ - About the Rules

What does Kindness Matters mean?

• Shortest version? Don't be an asshole. People come here for support and advice, they do not come here to be yelled at or told they are the reason everything is going sideways. There are ways to point out that someone may want to do some reflection on their own actions and reactions without being an asshole about it.
• The purpose of this subreddit is to provide support and a sense of belonging for struggling stepparents. We aren't here to pass judgement, but rather to offer support, empathy, and constructive commentary. That does not include "hard truths" or "tough love." Stepparents get enough of that in every other subreddit, we're not passing it out here. Be respectful.
• Remember, most people aren't going to come to a sub like this when everything is going great and everyone is getting along. People are coming here when they are down, when they are feeling defeated and stretched to the limit. Kicking someone when they are down is shitty behavior and we don't tolerate it.

What about being kind to the kids?

• "Won't somebody think of the children?" Pearl clutching isn't needed here. If you read the Kindness Matters rule closely, you will see that there is a clause in there about name calling children. We don't allow it. We also don't allow people rolling in telling OP that they feel sorry for their stepkids because OP is feeling overwhelmed and overloaded.
• If anyone is advocating slapping, spanking, or any other form of violence, report the comment immediately. We do not advocate violence towards children of any sort. The mod team does not advocate any sort of physical punishment at any time.
• Venting about behaviors is not the same as insulting the kids. However, if you see a post or comment where kids are being name called or dragged to the point of no return, use the report button. We try to catch the posts and remove them before they hit the sub, but we cannot see every comment without your help. Use the report button to bring problematic comments to our attention. Don't engage in a war of words on our subreddit.

Why is this sub such an echo chamber?

• Not allowing contributors to pile on and tell OP that they are a terrible human being who should never be around children does not equate to being an echo chamber. Many contributors here will offer OP suggestions to help them work through their resentments and frustrations, and the most egregious situations are called out. We simply ask that it be called out with respect.
• If you feel that a post is simply too much for you to handle without following the rules, move on to another post.
• If you believe that a post itself is crossing the rules report it. If the mod team has approved the post, it is because the mod team believes that the OP needs help from the community or needs a moment to vent and move on from their vent. That does not give you license to pile on disrespectfully. Unless it is proven that OP is a bot, assume that OP is a human being with real thoughts and feelings and has posted from a place of vulnerability.

Why can't I tell OP that they are an asshole?

• Because this isn't a judgement sub. We aren't AITA, we don't want to be AITA.
• Comments with terms like YTA, NTA, ESH, NAH will be removed.
• Don't start your posts with INFO either. We generally recognize that as a fishing attempt for more information to pass judgement on OP, and again, we are not a judgment sub.

But OP asked if they were an asshole?!

• Their post somehow got past our automoderator. Just use the report button. We will address it with OP.
• If you've asked if you are an asshole, a-hole, a*hole, a**hole, whatever, don't be surprised if your post is removed without warning. This isn't a judgment sub. If you want judgment, you know where to go.

What is a gendered slur?

• While it seems that everyone understands what racist slurs are, people struggle understanding the concept of gendered slurs. Generally speaking, we are talking about derogatory nouns or verbs that are used to negatively describe people or situations based on gendered terms.
• We've gone back and forth on this a few times, and the truth is, we get it, it's your safe space and you want to be able to vent about BM/BD how you want to vent about them, without us telling you how to vent about them. Fair enough. Vent away. What we are going to stick to here how people are referring to other users and to stepchildren.
• Examples that are not allowed:
  • "My SD is such a little bitch."
  • "She dresses/acts like a slut."
  • "My SS acts like a pussy."
  • "My SS is such a beta male."
  • "You are all fucking whores."
  • "Any dude who is raising some sluts kids is a cuck!"
  • "Little Lord Fauntleroy over here thinking he runs the house!"
  • "You're just the bangnanny, get used to it."
• Don't call users here names, don't call stepchildren names.
• Masking the term with asterisks or other neat little tricks might get you around the bot, but if we see it, we're removing it and quite possibly giving you a time out. The intended word is still there and you deliberately tried to skate the rule.
• As there is not enough space to list every term that is offensive and does not belong, nor every situation in which term or phrase may be allowable in context, this rule is enforced based on moderator discretion.

Seriously? You are the language police now?

• We're here to talk about stepparenting. And we would like for that to happen in a respectful way. Attacking each other doesn't help. Belittling stepchildren draws in trolls who don't understand your frustration, all they see is an evil stepmonster talking shit on the internet about a poor, innocent baby. Yes, even if that "poor, innocent baby" just robbed you blind and set fire to the house on their way out the door. That's just how it goes.
• We are aware that this is a relatively new rule and a lot of older posts and comments contain a lot of problematic language, including some from mods themselves. We are growing and evolving, and rules change as the sub grows and evolves.

What does No Drama really mean?

• Pretty much what it says, do not bring drama from other subs into this sub. Do not engage in vote brigades. Do not try to incite other subscribers to riot in a different sub. Don't follow posters into this sub from other subs to continue to harass them. Do not badger someone or derail threads. Do not harass community members because you don't agree with them. There's enough drama in the daily lives of subscribers, more isn't needed.

What is thread derailment?

• When a comment chain has devolved to the point where all you are doing is arguing back and forth with someone about the same thing over and over again, you have derailed the thread. Also known as bickering. It's what children do. We assume if people are in a stepparent role they are adults. We expect you to act like it.
• If you aren't a stepparent, or in a stepparenting role, consider that perhaps this subreddit isn't for you. If you want to participate, do so with respect. Thread derailment, arguing, bickering, and nitpicking are not allowed.

But what if they didn't answer my question?

• No one has to answer your questions. This is a support sub, not an inquisition. Jumping on a bandwagon with "OP is evading the question" in a 20 comment long chain is the epitome of thread derailment. You'll find more information about trolling below and how this might be considered such.

Why am I being silenced? I'm just asking for a back and forth!

• Thread derailment, badgering, and nitpicking are considered harassment. Continued harassment of either community members or mods will get you banned.

Why can't I look at someone's post history and comment about it?

• No mod in the history of this sub has ever once said post histories are forbidden. What we do frown upon is using someone's post history to attack, belittle, or otherwise harass someone.
• Example Post: "My stepkid's mom really hates me. How can I make this better?"
  • Okay: "Based on the timeline and your post history, it looks like this may have started as an affair. Unfortunately there's going to be outstanding issues for a long time due to that. Try focusing on yourself and how you can move forward without worrying about how someone else feels about you."
  • Not Okay: "Holy shit! You were the OW! What the hell do you expect, homewrecker?!"
• Example Post: "I am completely overloaded and feeling very down about myself."
  • Okay: "In your post history you mentioned that your spouse wasn't really helping around the house. Has that changed at all?"
  • Not Okay: "LOL, you already got the answers you need in your post on relationships. You are stupid for sticking with your lazy spouse."

Why can't we crosspost stuff to other subs?

• We can't stop you from doing so. The problem isn't that something has been crossposted, it's when the community that it's been crossposted to feels the need to come over here and harass OP. When we see that happening, we lock the post and start passing out bans. If you did the crossposting, you'll be banned. If you participated in the brigading, you'll be banned.

What if it's my own post?

• Again, we can't stop you from doing so. We prefer that you don't technically crosspost, but rather just copy and paste your post. Why? Because inevitably the above will happen. Redditors from other subs will follow you back to /stepparents and start attacking users here. It just happens.

What is "brigading"?

• Reddit defines vote manipulation and brigading as follows:
• Using multiple accounts, voting services, or any other software to increase or decrease vote scores.
• Asking people to vote up or down certain posts, either on Reddit itself or through social networks, messaging, etc. for personal gain.
• Forming or joining a group that votes together, either on a specific post, a user's posts, posts from a domain, etc.
• We, along with pretty much every other subreddit that has ever had to deal with this nonsense, further define brigading as this: You saw a post on another sub that linked to our sub either via a link in a comment or a crosspost. It was basically saying something along the lines of "OMG, check out these assholes over on /stepparents! They literally hate all their stepkids!" And then you and your friends come over and start hammering on OP and telling OP how much they suck. Congrats, you have just participated in a brigade.

What is this whole Report, Don't Rant thing about?

• If you see a post or comment that breaks the rules, instead of engaging, report it. When you report it, it sends notification to the mod team. We will act on it where appropriate. Engaging with bad faith users may result in your comments being removed. If you repeatedly do so, you may end up being banned.

What if I see an obvious troll?

• Report it.

What if they are being really mean in comments?

• Report it.

What if they are harassing me in private messages?

• Step 1: Report them to admins. You can report harassment to reddit by using this link or send a DM to reddit admins. Include the link to the DM, admins can see your inbox and providing a direct link is helpful for them to weed out bad actors.
• Step 2: Block the person so they cannot directly contact you again.
• Step 3: Send us a mod mail and let the mod team know. Tell us who they are and what they said, send us a screenshot if you can - admins can see your DMs, mods can't. We'll take action where necessary by banning from the sub if they aren't already banned.

What do you mean by No Naming & Shaming?

• Just as we prefer to not be linked to or crossposted from, we do not allow linking to or calling out other subs by name. If you see something you want to share, say it's a hot post that has hit the front page and a stepparent is being absolutely flayed, just refer to it as "that hot post that hit the front page." If you want to complain about other places in general, "other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice. Absolutely under no circumstances should you link to anywhere else.

I can't link to other subs?

• Do not directly link to another sub. (e.g.: "/insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not name other subs. (e.g.: "I won't link to it directly, but insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not abbreviate other subs. (e.g.: "I know that ISNH is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")

I can't ping other users?

• Do not summon another user with a username ping/tag. (e.g.: "insertusernamehere was being an asshole.")
• If you are agreeing with someone, it is okay to link to them. (e.g.: "I agree with insertusernamehere, you need to take a couple of steps back and reflect on this.")

What does No Platitudes mean?

• Sanctimonious, overused clichés that grossly oversimplify the stepparenting experience are neither wanted nor allowed here. We have all heard it a thousand times before, we don't need to hear it again. It's not nearly as insightful and wise as some would like to think.

Why don't you people understand it's a package deal?

• Any comment that suggests that OP should have known what they were getting involved with, or that they needed to understand that the kids were part of some package they needed to accept before signing up for marriage is subject to immediate removal.
• This is one of the most insensitive things you can say to a stepparent. Most stepparents were aware of the children, but they were probably not aware of all of the family dynamics.

Why can't you just love them like they are your own?

• Demanding that a stranger you do not know love children that are not biologically theirs as if they were theirs can be incredibly damaging to someone who is already in a vulnerable situation. Any comment that falls along these lines will be removed.

What do you mean by No Trolling? I was just...

• No means no. No trolling. No pretending to be a stepparent and then whipping out the Greatest Hits Bingo Card of The Worst Stepparent in the History of Stepparents. We see you. We've seen you a thousand times.

What does "concern trolling", "gish-galloping", and "sealioning" have to do with stepparenting? This isn't a debate sub, why are you using debate terms?

• That's absolutely right, this isn't a debate sub. And yet, here we are, day after day, having to defend ourselves against this sort of thing. So, enough. No more. Usage of any of these things will get you banned.

What is "Concern Trolling?"

• A concern troll is someone who disingenuously visits sites of an opposing ideology to disrupt conversation by offering unwanted advice on how to solve problems which do not really exist.
  • Example Post: OP expresses concern that she will feel, and possibly act, differently towards her stepchildren after her husband decides that no, he doesn't want anymore children after all.
  • Example Concern Troll pulled from actual mod mail after their comment was removed: "Possible child abuse claims need to be sorted out well before whatever empathy you believe the OP was looking for."

What is a "Devil's Advocate"?

• "I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but have you considered that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break, too?" BM has dozens of different mom based subs alone on reddit she can complain on, this sub is for stepparents. The stepparent doesn't need to consider that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break.

"Gish-galloping?" What does that even mean?

• The Gish Gallop is the fallacious debate tactic of drowning your opponent in a flood of individually-weak arguments in order to prevent rebuttal of the whole argument collection without great effort. The Gish Gallop is a conveyor belt-fed version of the on the spot fallacy, as it's unreasonable for anyone to have a well-composed answer immediately available to every argument present in the Gallop.

And "sealioning?" What's that?

• Sealioning involves jumping into a conversation with endless polite, reasonable questions and demands for answers, usually of entry-level topics far below the actual conversation (e.g. "please prove sexism exists"). This tactic differs little from harassment; instead of discussion, the point is to derail discussion, receive criticism (for their ignorance) so as to look like a victim, or to make someone feel overwhelmed and quit talking.

Who gets to define what is considered asshattery?

• The mod team, of course! If we feel that comments are out of line, are trolling, are leading up to a fight or "just asking questions", we are going to remove them and most likely ban the offender.

​
​

FAQ - Sub Questions

Posting Guidelines for Stepparents

• Body text is required, we suggest you use line breaks between paragraphs as a wall of text is difficult to read. Posts that have only a title are likely to be removed. Instead of using names (even fictitious ones), try to use the sub acronyms. It helps our users to follow along if you use the acronyms and not names.
• Assign a post flair that accurately describes what your post is about and what you are seeking. If you are posting an update from a previous post, include a link to that post.
• Flairs are applied to posts to determine what a person is looking for. When submitting a new post, you should choose a flair that specifies if you are looking for advice, support, etc. The following link flair is available and is color coded with side bar links so that you can search by flair:
  • Advice - For when you are specifically asking for advice or help.
  • Announcement - Mod Use Only, for subreddit announcements.
  • Daily (Formerly TTP) - Mod Use Only, for our daily discussion threads.
  • Discussion - A little advice, a little "How does your family handle this?"
  • JustBMThings - Pretty sure this is self explanatory!
  • Legal - Asking for legal advice? Tag it with this!
  • Miscellany - Just a sort of off topic thing? Use this tag.
  • Resource - Sharing a good resource or asking for one? This is the tag you need!
  • Support - For those days when you want nothing but a good old fashioned cry and some community love.
  • Update - Updating us on something that you posted about previously? Use this one!
  • Vent - We all need to vent sometimes. Respect the tag as a vent. This isn't how OP talks all day every day.
  • Win! - Celebrate those wins with us with this tag!
  • Megathread - Mod Use Only, for large mega threads (typically around major calendar events.)

Posting Guidelines for Bioparents

• Stepparents is a support community for stepparents, by stepparents. As bioparents, you may want to have more insight into how the stepparent in your life feels or thinks. You may have questions on how to ease the transition for your partner. However, please keep in mind that this community was not created for you. It was created for your partner or your ex's partner. If you are seeking support on how to deal with a stepparent, there are other subs more suited for your situation and your post is subject to removal.
• There are some posts from bioparents we will accept:
  • Seeking advice on how to support your partner as they navigate stepparenting
  • Seeking resources to help you better support your partner
  • Seeking resources for your partner
• There are some posts from bioparents we will not accept:
  • Complaints about how the stepparent is too involved in your kids lives
  • Vents about how the stepparent is not involved enough in your kids lives
  • "Cautionary tales" advising stepparents to back off
  • Seeking advice on how to tell the stepparent to back off
  • The Do's and Dont's of Stepparenting
  • How your kid's stepmom is literally The Worst
• Comments from bioparents that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from bioparents that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. There are several other subs that may meet the needs of bioparents better than we can. We recommend /coparenting, /parenting, /parents, /blendedfamilies, and /singleparents as starting points.

Guidelines for Stepkids

• At this time, we do not generally accept posts from stepkids. Comments from stepkids that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from stepkids that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. If you are a stepkid seeking support, we highly recommend /stepkids. It is a very supportive community specifically for stepkids. We also recommend /blendedfamilies as another potential group for support.

What the heck are all these acronyms? I'm confused!

• Check out the Common Acronyms wiki page. We try to keep this updated as new terms are introduced to the sub.

Why aren't my posts or comments showing up?

• New posters and accounts go through a waiting period before their posts will show in the sub and the comments on posts automatically. During the new account approval period the mod team will check posts to be sure you aren't attempting to circumvent a ban with a shiny new account. Please be patient while the timer runs down on your "new" status and the mod team approves your posts and responses.

Why was my comment removed?

• Comments are removed when they do not follow the rules of the sub. These rules are published in several places for your reading pleasure.
• Comments are removed at moderator discretion. In some cases your comment may be removed while another remains up. If you find this to be the case, and you believe the comment to be violating the rules, instead of arguing with mods or demanding they remove the additional comments, just report it.

This comment/post is really offensive! Why is it still up?

• All moderators are volunteers and have busy real lives. Sometimes things get past us. The best thing you can do is report anything you find offensive or inflammatory. It's the quickest and most reliable way of alerting us to an issue.

I've received a hurtful/unwanted PM from someone about my recent post. What should I do?

• If you receive an unwanted/hurtful PM from a name you don't recognize, please report it to Reddit Admins using our handy pre-populated form. Be sure to include the permalink to the message. We've been dealing with a few unhappy folks who like to attack stepparents, and reporting it to the admins is the only way to make it stop.

What are the general moderator guidelines?

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

I've been wrongly banned/Why can't I comment here?

• Due to an influx of harassment from users with specific user histories, we have employed a user history ban bot as described above. If you think this has affected you and wish to appeal, please message the mods.

Why was I banned without warning?

• There are numerous reasons that the mod team might opt to move perm banning without warning. Message the moderators if you have specific questions.

AITAH for telling my girlfriend she is too much of a "wildcard" to marry?
My (27M) girlfriend, M, (27F) is a bit of a free spirit. Don't get me wrong, she is very intelligent, attractive and has a lot going for her. We've been together 3 years.
But the issue I've been having recently is that she is wanting marriage and I see her as such an untamable horse so to speak. She is a rebellious, free spirited adventurer who literally packs up and leaves to go on a trip at a drop of the hat. She tells me she's going, and won't go if there are already commitments but if she can she is gone.
She is financially secure but she also spends a lot. Past an emergency fund, all her money goes to travel, taking up a multitude of projects. She woke up one day and decided to enroll in an auto-repair course, she is currently getting GIA certified for gemology. She makes jewelry, she works remote so she literally will pack up and take her work with her when she finds events she wants to go to ECT.
She's lived abroad, had a house in the south of France, she speaks 3 languages, goes to Germany and Austria often, she picks up hobbies or skills like they are M&M's. There isn't anything wrong with it I guess but it just feels chaotic?
Her biggest flaw is that she is rebellious. She absolutely hates, loathes the traditional route for anything. I went to college and she didn't, she had problems with teachers (which were founded, one abused her).but it's widespead. She quits jobs because she "manages better" and she does, she has her own business and a host of side hustles but it is just... how long does it last?
She was asking me if I was ever going to propose and I said I wasn't sure, we argued back and forth a little and she asked why I wouldn't. I was honest and said I saw her as a wildcard, that she just takes off a lot. She said she was lucky and could do that. That her friend died unexpectedly in his 30s and she absolutely is not going to go out working a "boring" 9-5 with no life and no experiences under her belt. She left- and hasn't spoken to me since. It's been 5 days. She said she needed to think.
AITAH? Am I overreacting?
EDIT//UPDATE
Just to clarify because I see a lot of comments and accusations of her flying around.
She isn't a bad person she just likes to be on the move.
She's been mentioning marriage/wanting to discuss it from the beginning (or at least 6-9 months into our relationship.) The expectation was always there, we discussed it. When I asked her if she would slow down or "settle" she's always said she just can't imagine not travelling at all. That she's happy to do school runs and live in an area for a long time but she has a lot of stuff on her bucket list still like going to Japan and things. I've always countered with what about kids? She says she wants to give them those experiences and keep them "cultured" and open minded but obviously it depends on them (she functions under different kids need different things).
She was abused, her friend died very tragically which I won't go into detail about. She has anxiety and C-PTSD that is managed and honestly you'd never know she has those things- I only know because she gave me the disclaimer. She doesn't have ADHD, please stop trying to diagnose her with bipolar or ADHD and leave that to her professionals.
I do want to marry her but it just freaks me out that she is so hyper independent. She always invites me a long and sometimes I go. I've told her I don't want her traveling while pregnant or anything and she's always been understanding of my point of view.
I think I messed up telling her she was a wildcard and would be a bad mothewife by extension. And NO. She DID NOT GHOST ME. She asked for a specific amount of time and has been sending one or two texts just checking in but she wanted a week to decide how she was feeling so I'm giving her the week.
She also hasn't had a lot of partners like some people are suggesting. She's been with 2 people. She doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs at all.
Hopefully we can salvage this.
UPDATE 2:
It is hitting how dumb I've been. I didn't really talk about it with her so I am positive for her it feels like this critique that she needs to be less spontaneous/on the go feels out of the blue.
She hasn't responded to my last message but she may be busy. I basically said I wanted to talk and actually deeply put a plan together, that I love her and want things to work. The silence is killing me but I deserve it for being a jackass.
I feel like she is 90% out the door but I don't want to end things with her, she will have to make that decision. She's been asking me when we might get married and maybe if I had given her a solid answer, she would have been secure enough to slow down.
Copied verbatim from oop's comments:
Either you're side by side her in all of her crazy antics or you're going to be miserable. If that's not the way you want to live your life then end it so you can both move on.
Also, I think she might have already broke up with you so...

"But it is crazy right, like it's not just me?"

Info : Do you want to ever get married ? What are your views on marriage/what being married would look like (both of you) and do these align?

"Both of us view marriage as a partnership, and one that is equal. We both would be doing it more for the security it provides in having children/ some of the financial stuff. She's been a bigger advocate of a prenup than I have, she will potentially inherit a lot and wants to be sure that's protected and that basically I have my finances and she has hers. She believes in working together but essentially if anything went wrong for us both to leave with what we've worked fohave.
I do want to get married, it's how she flits from one thing to another that makes me nervous. She is a wonderful girlfriend. But for example she blew $1500 on a last minute trip to Florida for an event at universal. Like literally found the event and within 48hrs was packed up and driving to Florida."

It's not crazy. She's enjoying her life while she still can.
Does she cheat? Lie? Take off on your birthday?

"No, no nothing like that, but I don't know she is just someone who is like the female jack sparrow. She is always calculating, re-calculating and then going off for these big adventures and she even encourages me to come but I am a very boring, routine, 9-5 person. She is the antithesis of that.
Initially it was so attractive because she is this wild girl who works on classic cars, collects old fancy dinnerware and just meets everything head on.
When I start thinking about it long term though I just can't shake the feeling that it would get hard, I would want kids in school and being responsible and she would be pulling them out to go to Disneyland."

Does she want kids? Maybe she's getting it done now before kids.
Just talk it out. Ask her what she sees for your future together. Tell her what you see. Find a compromise if you can.

"She does and she's openly said she wants to have fun with them and take them to experience things like her mom did with her.
I've said I want them to be in school and to have a normal childhood. She agrees that school is important but she is like they can also miss a week occasionally to travel. Her phrase is "Livings more important" "they are only going to be young for a short period" "I want to enjoy them while they enjoy me"."

Gentle YTA, for having dated this person for 3 years and not knowing what you even want from her. How long does what last, exactly? Lots of people make a carrier out of what you might call "side hustle salad". If you think about it, it's actually more stable in a lot of ways than locking yourself into one specific career track, because you can adjust to changing economic forces on the fly.
You, personally, need to think about this harder. Think about what you actually want out of your future, and whether she'll fit. These wishy-washy gut-checks are no way to plan a life, your own or yours together. Don't project it on to her, think about your own personal needs and wants. It's not "you're a wildcard", it's "I want my domestic life to be predicable and slow-paced"
Tell her your sorry for not having done that sooner, and then tell her what you figured out, and go from there.

"How long does what last, exactly?

Any of her plans, she is someone who doesn't stick to things for too terribly long. She worked for the employed jobs each forlmost exactly a year, she decided to go to school for auto-repair but then also bought courses for GIA. She then also got a library membership and started reading about business management heavily.
She has a mile long list of future plans and is very future focused but then also is just like... Winging it?
I have apologized for the wildcard comment but she won't respond and is taking time to think, once I get back into contact maybe we can have a deeper discussion.
I do love her. I want it to work out. I just worry that I am like Mr homebody/boring and she is the goddess of chaos."

like, are you saying you're worried that you're not cool enough for her? Bruh. That's for her to decide, not you.

"Kinda, I mean who can live up to someone who goes on VIP tours of SeaWorld, jets off to Germany 1-2 a year and then is fixing old hotrods (74' Plymouth barracuda). Not to mention all the other stuff she does. She can walk in an antique store and name china patterns off the top of her head and identify jewels at the drop of a hat.
She's too awesome and it's killing me. If I marry her and have kids with her I'm going to be the dry toast to her buffet of everything wonderful. She is a wild card and I both love it and hate it. Like how do you keep the girl who could literally be gone in a flash?"

[deleted]

"She doesn't, she's been in therapy/ had psychiatrists appointments since she was young for other things. She has anxiety and C-PTSD though.*

Info: do either of you want kids?

"Both of us do. She's always said she really wants to be a mother and she is great with the kids we are around."

Whether your assessment is fair depends on one point for me: Is she just *VERY** spontaneous or is she irresponsible?*
Example: You write she has an emergency fund, but is she on track with her retirement savings or does she just blow all of her money? You write she will quit a job because she does not like it. Does she just do it on a whim and hope for the best or does she have a plan in mind beforehand?
If it‘s the former (extreme spontaneity), it sounds like your lifestyles are not compatible (I personally could not live with someone like her). Think very hard whether you can live with her or not. If you come to the conclusion that you can‘t or don‘t want to, it‘s probably best to break up.
If it‘s the latter (irresponsibility), I think you‘re not the asshole.
In either case, if you are not honest with her, you‘re the asshole in my opinion.

"She doesn't believe in retirement funds really. She saved 6 months worth of bills as an emergency fund and saves some back, but most of it's free game. She says she isn't taking it with her and apart from leaving kids a little something she's not leaving a bunch to end up in estate sale or have it fought over.
She has a plan when she quits but not always another job lined up, she's usually in that process when she pulls the plug."

I was diagnosed with CPTSD and anxiety due to severe trauma later in life and one therapist was also unsure whether it could be ADHD. But two separate psychiatrists did tests (where you specifically look if symptoms where there in childhood already!) and it was still confirmed. We often get wrongly diagnosed. With everything you are describing she might as well have CPTSD and ADHD. Neurodivergent people are traumatized most of the times. It’s all a very thin line.

"I'm pretty sure she's not because she's been evaluated recently with a psychiatrist. I don't think she met the criteria."

Massive incompatibility. Women hit the epiphany stage in their late 20s or early 30s, when they suddenly want to nest and have their families.
They've had the Chads, the foam canon parties, the drinking, and the fun of being members of the most protected and socially glorified class of human being (attractive, fertile, young women)... and they begin to feel the reality of being not at their absolute 'prime'... it panicks them into a mental state where stability is required.
Tick tock goes the biological clock.
Personally, I think you should go a bit younger... she's 27, had a load of experiences, and (likely) casual partners. She's been abused, so that damage is done. She's not really wife stock. You can sense it, which is why you haven't proposed.
She's a bit all over the place. No stable(ish) employment, not great with money, wants to spend everything on travel. It's a bit 'teenager' for my liking.
Marriage may not be for her. She just doesn't know it yet.
I wouldn't waste her time further. I'd recommend you find a younger woman (22-25) who's ready to settle down into a lifestyle that you lead within your boundaries and limitations and expectations.

"casual partners

Actually she's only been with two people. So i mean, she isn't a party girl by any means. She doesn't drink or do drugs at all. But she does travel a lot and have different ideas than I do."

[A discussion of how Oop was correct because girlfriend ghosted him.] Yea ghosting is immature. She can’t even tell him like an adult. He communicated with her and she just left. He was right.

"She has been in contact just shelved the topic. And it's been very quiet. She said she needed space and to give her a week.
I think I hurt her when I said she would be a wildcard and by extension a bad wife and mother."

Dude. I was diagnosed with PTSD and CPTSD looooong before I was diagnosed with ADHD. It literally took a hospitalization for me to be diagnosed, and age 26. Women and femmes are severely under-diagnosed and misdiagnosed. I can spot the ADHD in her a mile away from how you describe her - she reminds me so much of myself, and others I know. Lack of diagnosis doesn’t mean she doesn’t qualify.
Edit: before *more** people come after me for this and before I feel more obligated to defend and justify myself - it is a known fact that the mental health medical field, maybe just where I am (Ontario), is severely lacking. There are a lot of bad doctors, doctors who hold onto very outdated views of diagnoses and trauma. Medical misogyny is a very real and documented thing.*
Lack of diagnosis does not mean it’s off the table. That’s it. Doctors get it wrong, when it comes to the brain. Psychiatry has not come as far as it should have by now.

"Yes but my point is let a professional diagnose her. Don't try to arm chair diagnose her with ADHD or bipolar as some people have been saying.
She just recently had an evaluation (within the last 3 months) with a therapist and she said she really didn't need therapy as a lot of the things she had (anxiety and C-PTSD) she's managed/ doesn't really have symptoms for anymore and she did ask the therapist about ADHD but apparently she didn't meet a bunch of the criteria."

Fun fact, medical misogyny exists. It’s why misdiagnosis happens. I know so many people that had to go to multiple psychiatrists to get diagnosed. Because the DSM, particular for ADHD and Autism, are written around how they manifest in specifically white men. Just like how in dermatology for example, all the research and symptoms are in white people which results in misdiagnosis in people who “don’t meet criteria”. It’s not armchair diagnosing to point that out. Also - therapists worth their salt would never tell someone with C-PTSD they don’t need therapy.
Edit: and the point here isn’t even to diagnose her. It’s to point out that her personality is just that, and if you’re not compatible due to it so be it. Let her go. But in your comments you’ve expressed that you are insecure; and it’s resulting in self sabotage. You need to be open with her, and allow yourself to be vulnerable and communicate these things to her. It’s the only way the relationship is salvageable.

"She's been in therapy since she was 10... like nearly 20 years, they've covered most of the stuff she had to. I think that's why the therapist said she didn't have to attend but could if she wanted to.
She attends because she likes the place to vent and finds it healthy in her words, not because she's actively working on managing symptoms anymore. I know she said she had C-PTSD as a diagnosis at one point after being a victim of CSA, having an abusive step father, her previous partner passing away, and a bunch of other stuff happening."

What’s the difference between your assets and finances? Because it seems like she’s got a lot of family money and/or has had a huge leg up in life from the opportunities she’s had in her family’s social circles. I’m guessing that you don’t have the same advantages she does. In that case, she’s smart to advocate for a prenup. Most wealthy people do. It’s part of the reason they maintain generational wealth.
I’m definitely not wealthy, and had a stable childhood but not many social or financial advantages. I married someone with the same kind of upbringing. I think that a marriage of people from different socioeconomic backgrounds can sometimes be more difficult to navigate than one between people of different ethnic and religious backgrounds.
ETA: I know this is harsh, but it seems like she’s ended the relationship if she’s disappeared for 5 days. I hope both of you can find more suitable partners in the future.

"So she isn't actually rich, I mean she has some savings, stands to inherit a lot, but her mother actually was married 5 times, one of those marriages took her overseas, which obviously is where my girlfriend grew up. It was the ex-step father who owned property in the south of France.
I guess what gets me is she is like the ultimate definition of fake it till you make it. She has connections, she has a family unit that is tight knit. She has savings for about 6 months of finances. But past that all her money goes to experiences. She eats out, never cooks ( not saying she has to but cost wise it's maybe a lot) then she always is travelling or going to events.
She just messaged me and said she was at the beach. She's joining a family trip late to get away from me, probably.
She said that she doesn't think we can get past this if I don't take her seriously and I need to think about what I want, she's doing the same."

Pensions aren’t as common as you think they are lol. I’ve had four full time, salaried jobs in my working career and none of them offered pensions. And I think it’s incredibly responsible that she has an emergency fund, we don’t know how much she has set aside in case of emergencies. Clearly she can afford her lifestyle, just because she isn’t investing or whatever doesn’t make her irresponsible. Besides, she’s young, enjoys travel, isn’t married, doesn’t have kids, sounds like she’s living the life she wants. People spend thousands on hobbies all the time, unsure how this is any different.

"She has at least $20000 set aside which is over what she would probably spend in those 6 months."

It makes a ton of sense. Her entire lifestyle sounds like she’s got family money. If she doesn’t, she’s probably got absolutely crushing debt.
She can’t change who she is or how she grew up. She’s incompatible with OP. And cynical me wonders how much of his attraction to her is based on her wealth. She wants a prenup for a reason. That usually only happens when there’s a wide difference of finances and assets between partners, or if both are well off and looking to maintain that.

"No she doesn't have debt. She pays off every single credit card she has every month.

The only debt she has is her car and she's nearly paid that off. She hates credit and carrying debt."
Interesting perspective, and I agree it would be helpful to know what country OP and his (ex?) gf live in.
If she’s got a house in southern France and speaks 3 languages and regularly goes to Germany and Austria, that means something VERY different if she’s European vs being American or Canadian.
From my limited experience with Dutch culture, it seems far more practical and sensible than American culture. It doesn’t surprise me that prenups are standard in NL.

"US based now
She lived in the UK, Germany and France (part time)."

Youre projecting. He said hes in the US and shes in Europe obviously he cant always follow her. OP said she stands to inherit quite a bit of money as well. Why would she wants to marry him and then cheat on him. Doesnt make sense.

"She's here in the US.
She lived abroad previously."

It makes perfect sense because she’s obviously the type who needs attention and Validation. Im not projecting anything. I’ve lived abroad, throughout the EU and Asia/Pacific. I’ve seen couples like this, and it’s always the one who spends the time abroad who engages in infidelity. In fact it was a running joke where I worked. This is basically a long distance relationship, and those always implode. Infidelity is usually the reason.

"She's easily the most loyal person I know. She wouldn't cheat."

Cat!

In his 2021 research, Dr Giullio Perrotta from Italy, examined the polamory community as being a part and a more sophisticated derivative or representative of polygamy or even polygyny or simply said NM. Here, in his, research, the entire sample of the selected population presented a number of dysfunctional personality traits that are significant for diagnosing a specific disorders. In cluster A there were anxiety disorder, phobic disorder, obsessive disorder, dependent disorder and depressive disorder. In cluster B there were bipolar disorder, borderline disorder, narcissistic disorder and sadistic-masochistic disorders; finaly, in cluster C, there were schizoid disorder, schizotypal disorder, schizoaffective as well as dissociative disorders. Furthermore, behavioural dependency and/or drug/alcohol dependency disorder is present in all the subjects investigated. From direct insight as well as (secretely) bring aqcauintedwith the forums, I attest that this is true.
Moreover, in the male population sample, the percentage of cluster B disorders with a greater prevalence for borderline and narcissistic disorder tends to be markedly higher than in the female sample in the sexually promiscous relationships, while it attenuates in the polyamorous form. In the female sample , the percentage of cluster B disorders with a higher prevalence for borderline and narcissistic disorder tends to be markedly higher than in the male sample in the sentimental polyamorous relationships, while it attenuates in the polysexual form. In both sexual genders, the net prevalence of cluster C disorders (in comorbidity with narcissistic traits) is in the anarchic sentimental polyamorous relationships. The entire sample of the selected population presents, therefore, positivity on the test of dysfunctional behaviour in all poly types of relationships, with extremely high data in the relational polyamorous relationsgip with a binary and/or anarchic style.
The questions that were asked are also very eye opening. Those integrative questions put to the selected population sample for the male population show that an astounding 47.4% of the men based their choice for this life style on narcissistic control in the relationship. In other words, almost half of the male polyamorists are narcissists. Even more astoundiglly, for women, on the otherside, it was same 47.4% who addmitted that it was narcissistic control in the relationship that was the preferred cause of the choice to go poly. Not only it refutes the poly lie about the infinite love (it shows that it's a narcissitic "love"), but that narcissism is inherent to polyamory and given the rest of disorders associated with this community that there's no one decent person there and that abuse is inherent to that life style.
Intertwined with the reality of mentaly ill people, showing their inability to cope with life's hardships, those unresolved and unhealed past traumas when facing betrayal or failed family experience, instead of dealing and healing the wounds, their prefered choice was to embark on a path of self destruction, harming others and mentally projecting their situation on everyone else (every one cheats, all monogamous partner cheat, and all monogamous partners lie). So, based on fear, lack of self esteem, confidence including hiden and covert insecurities (known trait of narcissists) especially having to have to deal with their problems, those people chose an emotional barter deal, trading one suffering they perceive as less threatening or painful while in the same tine suppressing the the more intimidatimg fear and are set to destroy others either by unilatral or bilateral abuse. As such, it is this background and envirinment that gives rise or birth and offers an explanaion of why and how unhealed past and marital traumas becomes the reason why 76.4% chose divorce in the context narcissistic and mental abuse instead of healing and continuing a loving monogamous relationship.
As we will see, the research of Dr. Giullio Perrotta is crucial in understanding the reality he discovered even in more depth and delve more into the details. In fact, projection as defense mechanism is almost an embedded part of the disorders described by Dr. Perrotta. It is especially one of the central aspects in cluster B disorders and with a clear emphasis on BPD (bi pollar disorder) and narcissism. In this essay, I will go into the detail and will explain how projection as defence mechanism not only opperates as a day to day function but also what polyamorous and nonmonogamous purposes it serves.
In psychology, projection refers to assigning your negative traits, impulses, desires, volitions, wants or unwanted emotions to others without being aware you’re doing it. In other words, projection is a common defense mechanism where people attribute their own negative traits or emotions to other people. As it occurs on the subconscious level of mind, projection can be hard to detect, especially if you’re the one doing it. And as the process is unconscious, slipping under the radar of your conscious experience and self-image, one is normally not aware or mindful of it occurence.
Thus we can say that projection is a form of defense mechanism in which unwanted feelings are displaced onto another person, where they then appear as a threat from the external world. A common form of projection occurs when an individual, threatened by his own angry or anxious feelings, accuses another of harbouring fearful and hostile thoughts or behaviour
Respectively, in polyamory and nonmonogamy, projection is the dynamic through which the polyamorist and nonmonogamist reveal who they are and what they're doing.Through projection, they call you what they are. They accuse you of doing what they're doing or planning on doing. The accuse you of being selfish while deflecting their own selfishness. They throw all the uncomfortable feelings onto you because they don't want to deal with them. They throw their shame on you so they don't have to deal with it. They deflect their insecurity and feelings of worthlessess, because they're unable to cope with their own sense of inadequacy and unworthiness. They portray you possesive and controlling, while they exhibit the traits of abuse, narcissim and the wheel of power and control.They make you feel guilty for who they are and what they're doing because they're unable to feel that guilt themselves.
So, essentially for polyamorists and nonmonogamists, projection is an unconscious way of denying the existence of something inside themself and attributing it to others, externalizing it. This could be unacceptable or a painful characteristic, flaws, thoughts, emotions, actions, feelings, desire, impulses or volitions. Because they're unable to see these things inside themselves they have to project them on other people. Because they're unable to be accountable and responsible for their own shortcomings, they have to deflect it onto other people.
Many monogamous partners or even individuals facing the nonmonogamous incitement and anti monogamy shaming, are unable to make sense of the defense mechanism that causes either their partners or the polypredators to project their negative tendencies onto others. They find themselves struggling to appropriately assign the blame for these and especially for the reluctant monogamous spouse who find themselves assaulted by this kind of behaviors, it becomes a painful and often traumatic experience resulting from the abuse.
And, again, especially, for the ones being nuked with this kind of poly assault, not being able to get out from under the layers of guilt projected on them can leave them without the ability to gain the closure necessary to move on from one of these relationships. Polyamorists and nonmonogamist use this combined approach of projection, blameshifting and shaming, not only as a mean deflection as described above but also as a tool of emotional manipulation in form of bullying and domestic sbuse. It is done to seize control and take advantage of one's own partner's and is often extended as a tactic outside the relationship.
This combination of being accused of things one would never do and a partner who themseves engage in these behaviors can throw an individual involved in such situation or trying to recoveescape from them into a state of confusion that can last months or even years which is also done for the same purpose of controlling and taking advantage of others.
Anyway, in polyamory, often coupled with rationalization, the classic form of projections, happens, for instance, when a polyamorist accuses everyone of cheating, falsely and ignorantly claiming everyone cheats, our nature is promiscouos and monogamy isn't natural, while denying that it's them being a cheater and unfaitful.
Common feelings, behaviours and character traits often projected by polyamorists and non monogamists into monogamous people are feelings of insecurity, immorality, control, abuse, gaslighting, feelings of indequacy, wothlessness, unworthiness, treating people as disposable chattels and inferiority only to name a few of them.
So, projection also takes place when someone attributes their flaws and feelings onto someone else. There's unendless examples of this kind of behaviour in the day to day activities. Addressing the topic of NM, let’s say a polyamorist or non monogamists have a tendency to excuse infidelity, to take lightly adultery or a general tendency towards sexual permissiveness and promiscuity, they will first rationalize and the project it unto you, claiming everyone cheats, we are non monogamois and everyone is permiscuous. This is a concrete an example of projection that we always encounter within poly and NM circles.
Such kind of projection, normally goes hand in hand with abuse. Besides projecting feelings during an argument, a polyamorist or non monogamist, will also commit other damaging behaviours. The reason polyamorists and non monogamists, show this form of relational aggression is because they are insecure, they feel inadequate and worthless and for the sake of rationalization to feel better as well as superior to others, they chooses to shame you because they perceive qualities in you with which they are uncomfortable in themselves. Their immorality and insecurities come out as projections wrapped up in a buble of rationalization. Though highly developed as theories, they are all the same extremely subtle mental projections and rationalizations garbed in an intricate metaphysical and philosophical phraseology about "love".
As a part of abuse, projection is in fact synonymous with blame shifting which is a very common defense mechanism. It is such a common occurrence in human beings that it can be seen even in very young children. Blame-shifting is a defense mechanism that we use in the false hope that it will allow us to avoid having to feellings such as fear, shame, insecurity, selfishness, worthlessness, unworthiness as well as (fear of) abondonment and loneliness, emotions that are very difficult for all human beings to tolerate. Projection is basically a more complex version of blame-shifting and as already mentioned it is the polyamorists and non monogamits way to seize power and control over their partner and even a mean to gaslight others into non monogamy.
Polyamorists and nonmonogamists are more interested in feeling powerful than then being in love or feeling emotionally connected. It is not about being interested in connection and true emotional closeness, but more about control and feelings of superiority. Projection always creates an imbalance of power. The victim of the abuse is always the less powerful or strong person. The person being more committed to the relationship or more emotionally interdependent, will always get the short end of the stick. For the emotionally immature polyamorist or nonmonogamist it’s just another way for him to deflect responsibility. They know that the more connected partner will feel insecure, since they less want to leave the relationship. So, that's the situation when if the reluctant or more reluctant partner was manipulated enough, they learn to keep quiet and not bring anything up for fear they will be threatened with abandonment.
The aim of the polyamorist and nonmonogamist is to induce the feelling of guilt and shame into their victim and therefore polyamory is synonymes with domestic violence, abuse and intimate partner violence. The reluctant or the more committed partner takes full responsibility while the nonmonogamous partner uses emotional libertrianism to run away from every responsibility, to send you to therapy and declare your agony is on you. You start feeling like no matter what you do, it’s always your fault and you are to blame.
On the other side of the nonmonogamous equation,the emotionally immature poly-abuser and nonmonogamist feels threatened by their negative thoughts/destructive emotions/ wants/desires/srlfish impulses and the need of self reflection and self criticism. They do not want to be held accountable. The emotionally immature nonmonogamist and polyamorist only wants to reinforce how strong and superior they are. They cannot face the deep shame of unworthiness, worthlessness and selfishness that sits at the core of who they are, so they projecy these painful traits of themselves to someone else to avoid confronting them. In short, polyamorist and nonmonogamists engagr in projrction in order to defend their fragile egos.
For polyamorists and nonmonogamists projection is a way of avoiding taking responsibility for their own painful emotions and placing them onto someone else. For the polyamorist and nonmonogamist, projection is a form of survival. They can’t look inward because this leads to injury and shakes up their fragile ego and its deeply ingrained beliefs including and maybe especially that they are superior and better than everyone else. If they had to actually experience the negative emotions and traits they have about themselves, then they would be unable to function in the world. The projection is their sort of bodily and emotional armor where they can protect themselves.
One specific way in which nonmonogamista project is with blame-shifting. The polyamorists and nonmonogamists believe they are perfect partners who can do no harm, in their mind, so they do not take blame or responsibilty for any actions that could otherwise be attributed to them. Also, as discussed already, the narcissist has an unstable sense of self. Their sense of self is easily influenced by outside factors and small changes in their environment can lead them to feel uneasy and unsure how to function. They cannot hold positive and negative views of someone in their mind at the same time. They are sensitive to criticism as a result of their sense of self being at the mercy of their environment and difficulty in self-regulating their own emotions.
When the the nonmonogamist and polyamorist blame-shifts, they want you to think that you are the problem and not them. They will never admit fault, unless there is something in it for them and this would be rarely. Even during the love or sex bombing stage, the polyamorist and monigamist must still protect themselves and will continue to be unable to accept blame. By projecting and blame-shifting, they are defended against awareness and accountability to their own thought dynamics.
If you are aware of what projection and blame-shifting are, then you can learn that when the polyamorist and nonmonogamist has blame-shifted, they are actually confessing what they see as wrong in themselves. The polyamorist and nonmonogamist doesn’t project the positive things onto someone else, only the negative. It is their way of showing responsibility, in a passive aggressive way. This is what projection is all about. The polyamorist and nonmonogamist feels this negative emotion which is “admitting” to them, but then they turn it onto you. While indirect, if you can understand that the polyamorist and nonmonogamist is projecting because they find truths within themselves for the wrongdoing, then you can take yourself out of the situation.
You will never hear responsibility-taking from a polyamorist and nonmonogamist if you listen for the words thise who are not polyamorists and nonmonogamists would use. However, if you listen for the blame-shifting phrases then you will be hearing the responsibility-taking from a narcissist in the words they are able to use to protect their fragile egos and unstable sense of self.
Then, there is victim blaming. Once a polyamorist or non monogamist hurts and abuses you, they begin to blame the victim or everyone else. For example, if a polyamorist or non monogamists seek extramarital relationship that's because they succumb to the control and abuse cycle aiming at getting the upper hand in the relationship created through imbalance (which is inevitable as absolute equality is delusion), by hoping to be more manipulative or plain and simple sexually enjoing the pain inflicted upon the partner (violent sexuality). As projection offen occurs on the subconscious level, those individial will not only deny these occurences but the being vile abusers.
Very often, unless there is one partner who was bullied into EN and polyamory, it is about a bi directional violence or abuse where partners take turns in abusing easch other. The fact, that they disguise the abuse as love is typical in each and every case of domestic violence, domestic abuse or intimate partner violence. Therefore, NM and polyamory can be classified as a form of domestic abuse or IPV (intimate partner violence). The result of such abuse is that victims of polyamory and NM suffer from PTSD and need psychological treatment.
Like many other defense mechanisms, projection boils down to a false sense of self-defense or wrong survivle strategy. As we have seen, projection comes when you are unable to acknowledge and admitt a negative trait, painful thoughts, destructive desire, impulse or qualities on your self. It is then easier to displace those painful and negaive emotions to others, than it is to take responsibility for your actions and confront the aspects of your personality.
By projecting, it boils down, again, to keep pain, shame, and guilt at bay by engaging in an emotional barter deal to trade one suffering, perceived as a bigger treath to the ego, with another another one, perceived as a lesser evil, though not attempting to heal the problem at its root level and heal alltogether. Thus, for those individuals, it is also more comfortable to see negative qualities in other people than in themselves. Polyamorists and non monogamists are prone to projecting often, because they lack basic self awareness and a healthy grasp of reality which coupled with low self-esteem and feelings of inferiority, are all collectivelly projected on the monogamous majority (as well as the reluctant partner) including the aim at feeling superior to every one.
Until now, I have explained with many examples what is called in literature neurotic projection as is exhibited by polyamorists and nonmonogamists. However there are two more types. Here are the three common types of projection:

1. complementary projection: this kind of projection is about assuming others already share your beliefs. This is about the least common projection among monogamist and polyamorists at least in its direct form. Indirectly, it can be exhibited in the perception that it only takes counselling and reconditioning of the reluctant partner that was brainwashed into the monogamous state.
   
2. complimentary projection: assuming others have the same level of ability as you do. This is also very common in NM and pilyamory. Polyamorists and non monogamist exhibit thos type of projection by claiming we are all polygamous or polyamorous but the vast majority of the inferior monogamists were only brainwashed by society to be so. This kind of complimentary projection at least borders on what can be defined as polyamorous supremascism. In my opinion, it is plain and simple poly and NM supremascism.
   
3. neurotic projection: assigning undesirable emotions or feelings onto someone else. This we have already largely described above.
   

Finally, we have also to acknowkedge, as I have outlined in the opening referring to the research of Dr. Giullio Perrotta, that polyamorists and nonmonogamists also exhibit narcissistic tendencies of projection at least to some degree in order to protect themselves as a kind of emotional barter deal. As we have mentioned above, the polyamorist and nonmonogamist exhibit neurotic projection through which they attribute their own negative and unwanted feelings, traits, mistakes, flaws, or behaviors onto others because they are either not mindful, not aware, not conscious or plain and simple unwilling to acknowledge these issues and resistent to get any help.
Besides their other inabilities or incapabilities that I described in these series of essays, polyamorists and non monogamists also act in this manner on order to protect their fragile self-esteem and ego from allegedly potential harm caused by self-reflection and to maintain their self-esteem. Polyamorists and nonmonogamists don't want to deal with feelings of fear, shame, self-criticism, loneliness, unworthiness, vulnerability, abondonment or emptiness, so they have to find ways to avoid a deep self reflction into their most dark corridors of mind (seeking an emotional barter deal. Their exaggerated sense of superiority (over the unenlightened and inferior monogamous majority) and inflated self-image lead polyamorists and nonmonogamists to adopt a snow flake mentality where they believe they are entitled and better than anyone else who are not like them.
However, these poly and NM narcissistic tendencies stem from insecurity, feelings of unworthiness, worthlessness, insecurity and low self-esteem that they project unto everyone else. So, when a polyamorist's or nonmonogamist's fragile ego is threatened by feelings of shame, inadequacy, worthlessness, and insecurity, the polyamorist and nonmonogamist uses projection to attribute their own negative qualities to others to protect their ego instead of dealing with the problems and healing them.
In addition, despite their attempt to hide this reality, among others through projection, malignant polyamorists and nonmonogamists are full of pathologically suppressed envy. According to the American Psychiatric Association, narcissists are said to be envious of others and believe others to be envious of them. As rxhibbiting and belonging to the cluster B disorders, as shown by Dr. Perrotta, polyamorists and nonmonogamist share and exhibit the same trsits and behavior. Therefore, it is not at all surprising that a polyamorist and a nonmonogamist would believe others to be envious of them, either – they are masters of projection, spewing their issues onto others in order to avoid the truth about themselves. With constant ugly primitive projections, manipulative tactics of manipulations desguised under the pretense of love, understanding and compassion, humiliations, sometimes over and sometimes covert but always unearned and undeserved criticisms, the polyamorist and nonmonogamist creates a terrible, painfully agonizing environment for his {or her} spouse. The partner or spouse of the those poly and nonmonogamous narcissists survive in a state of constant psychological and emotional prison.”
And it is no wonder why. In the twisted world of the polyamorist’s and nonmonogamist's distorted world you the victim becomes the abuser. Polyamorists and nonmonogamists then go on to call intelligent and successful people lazy, moronic, or accuse them of being full of themselves (quite an ironic projection given the polyamorist's and nonmonogamist's own selfishness, greed, hedonism and supremascism). They verbally abuse their partners as well as monogamous people collectivelly and deem beautiful, successful people unattractive and unappealing. They claim loving, compassionate and empathic people are possesive, abisive and controlling. They accuse loyal people of deception and infidelity. They will often try to convince you that you are the opposite of what you really are – a kind, beautiful, intelligent, successful, and compassionate human beings. A narcissists malignant projections have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. They call considerate people with dignity for oneself and respect for others while being themselves, insecureand having low self esteem issues. We will finish this essay with one smal advice. Listen closely – what they see in you is really what they fail to notice about themselves in the mirror. And never let a poly or nonmonogamous narcissist abuser affect your self esteem.

¡Hola estudiantes! Buenos días! Welcome to Spanish Saturday! It's the day of the weekend where we increase our Spanish knowledge a bit more than before. How was your week? Lovely, I hope. Today, we're continuing our lesson on Home and the Family. Let's get started.
We're talking about the home today in Spanish. Describe your home. If someone asked you to describe your home, what would you say? I'd say something to the effect of, "My home has one kitchen, one living room, one dining room, three bedrooms, one balcony and one bathroom." We are going to cover this concept today.
To say who you live with, use the phrase "Vivo con ...." For example: "Vivo con mis padres." (I live with my parents.) You can switch out the phrasing and use other relatives. For example, "Vivo con mis abuelos y mi primo." (I live with my grandparents and my cousin.)
Now you try. Write a sentence describing who you live with.
Okay.
You can also describe your house. To say your house is large, say, "Mi casa es grande." (My house is big). To say your house is small, say, "Mi casa es pequeña." (My house is small.)
Now you try. Describe your house as either small or large.
You can also list the rooms in your house. Below are some useful vocabulary terms for rooms of the house.
una cocina - a kitchen
un comedor - a dining room
una sala de estar - a living room
un living - a living room
un dormitorio - a bedroom
un cuarto - a bedroom
un cuarto de baño - a bathroom
un balcón - a balcony
To describe the rooms of your house, use the phrase, "En mi casa, hay ... (In my house, there is). For example, "En mi casa hay una cocina, un comedor, una sala de estar, tres dormitorios, un cuarto de baño y un balcón." (In my house there is a kitchen, a dining room, a living room, three bedrooms, a bathroom and a balcony."
Attached below is a video of a Spanish speaker pronouncing the names of the rooms of the house, as well as other parts of the house not mentioned in this lesson. Take the time to repeat the words after they are spoken to practice your Spanish. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69IUzfUG3Wg Spanish Lesson 61 - ROOMS and PARTS OF THE HOUSE in Spanish Partes de LA CASA en español
Now it's your turn. Write a paragraph describing the rooms of your house.
When you're done writing your paragraph about your house, turn to your partner and listen to their description of their house. How is their house different from yours?
Below is a simple house floor plan. Rename the rooms of the house in Spanish. The floor plan is attached below. https://i.pinimg.com/736x/91/6a/d1/916ad15dff10cdf9087b58f4fc2c6673.jpg
To close out today's lesson, describe your living situation. Who do you live with? Describe your home.
In short, you can say who you live with in Spanish by using the phrase, "Vivo con ..." You can describe your house as large or small (grande or pequeña.) You can also describe the rooms in the house by saying cuarto (bedroom) cuarto de baño (bathroom), living (living room), balcón (balcony), comedor (dining room) cocina (kitchen).
For home-work, you are to take your camera phone and record yourself going through your house and describing the rooms in Spanish. The video does not need to be very long. A two minute video describing your house is sufficient.
For today's Culture Corner, we're looking at some clips about Hugo Chavez, one of Venezuela's beloved leaders. A video on Hugo Chavez is attached below. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwNmYaaindU Hugo Chávez's 14 years as Venezuelan president
Attached below is another video on Chavez's rule as Venezuela's president. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTPNPL5_u9Q A look at the life of Hugo Chavez
And that does it for today's Spanish Saturday. I hope it was informative. I hope you left today's class with more information than before you took the class. Remember, it takes 40 minutes of daily practice to improve your knowledge. So get to it. Until next time, ¡Vámonos!

NOTICE: Sitting at a pretty 11,276 words, this chapter is even longer than the last one. That means that, by necessity once more, I have split the post into two as to fly under the character limit imposed by Reddit. This is the first post. When you reach the end, you'll want to go on to the second.
It's out! Please ignore how it takes me three months to write chapters anymore. A/N at bottom of second post.
Standard boilerplate disclaimer: Nature of Predators is property of our holy lord and savior SpacePaladin15. I am not him, and thus I do not own Nature of Predators. If at any time he wishes I take down anything related to Nature of Predators that I have posted, I shall do so immediately upon seeing the request. Thank you again to SpacePaladin15 for allowing fanworks.
File Selected: Entry 8 – 00:57, January 14th, 2137.mp3
Begin Playback? Y/N
>Y
Beginning Playback…
WARNING: THIS RECORDING IS PRIMARY EVIDENCE IN AN ONGOING INVESTIGATION. UNLAWFUL LISTENING TO, REPRODUCTION OF, OR TAMPERING WITH IN PART OR IN WHOLE OF THIS RECORDING IS A FELONY. IF YOU ARE NOT A LEGAL OFFICIAL OF THE COMMONWEALTH, STOP THIS PLAYBACK IMMEDIATELY AND CONTACT YOUR CLOSEST EXTERMINATOR FOR DISPOSAL OF ILLICIT INFORMATION. ENFORCEMENT OF THIS LAW IS REVIEWED AND APPROVED BY HIGH JUDGE HYACIDUS OF THE GLASS GARDEN METROPOLITAN ZONE.
The entry begins in an amateurish attempt at a sing-song style, Jiyuulia’s consistently basal tones swinging through her full vocal range over the course of the introduction before stabilizing in a steady, yet almost grandstanding cadence. At some points, the high notes almost reach a normal conversational pitch, though the awkward way the words are stressed ruins the effect. Nevertheless, Jiyuulia’s voice is strong, ostentatious, even, its booming volume echoing off the cavern walls with what one might go so far as to argue to be the smallest drop of pride. Aside from her poor vocals, audio quality has increased drastically in comparison to that of the previous entry, Jiyuulia’s voice clean, crisp, and otherwise without significant flaw beyond its abnormal register and lackluster talent. Much like last time, a constant wind flows in the background, creating a wind tunnel effect that is present throughout the entire entry. Unlike last time, however, the winds have slowed greatly; their previously deleterious effects on audio quality absent as the piercing howl of earlier. Actually, the sound is almost a positive thing, calming in its own way, the white noise helping to mitigate the worst of the echo whilst doing nothing to impede the clarity of the speaker. It is not quite enough, however, to mask the frantic scrabbling and squirming of a smaller creature making its way toward the microphone, almost reaching it before the being is caught and hauled away with a huff.
Greetings, Great Hunters! I, Jiyuuila, Spirit of Bounty, bring to you today the spoils of the ongoing hunt, regaling all with the in-progress tale of Hunter Potentiate Kyrix’s turbulent entry examination and the many chaotic events he encounters in his path to heaven.
*That’s me!*
With danger around every corner, greater and greater challenges presenting themselves with each and every obstacle, and even death itself stalking our brave Potentiate, Kyrix’s adventure has yet to let up! As his faithful guide and trophy, and thus dutybound to recording all of Kyrix’s great endeavors in his quest for ascension, I present to you, Great Hunters, and all those who listen in the lands above, the true tale of Kyrix’s journey through the mortal world. A thrilling adventure jam-packed with action and strife, the journey’s been long, and we’ve been through so much that it’s almost too much for me to keep up!
*Squishy never keeps up with anyone.*
…All that content won’t cover itself, so let’s get started! First off, I—
Jiyuulia pauses. A light shuffling can be heard coming from somewhere atop her.
Settled now?
…
Right, so first off, I should talk about — ow — about the situation Kyrix found himself in after our whitewater rafting trip, and — watch the earholes — the immediate challenges — that’s my eye — that nearly ended the journey — that’s my other eye — before it even — okay, Kyrix, if you can’t stop moving, I’m gonna have to take the entry without you.
*Nooo! I wanna stay! You said I could stay!*
I said you could stay if you could be good.
*I’m being good! No movement, see?*
Uh huh. Starting over. So first off, we — are you done?
A pointed silence passes. Jiyuulia’s exasperated glare is palpable, even through an audio recording.
Ahem. So. First off, we were — alright, that’s it.
A loud thud blasts the microphone as Jiyuulia’s bulk slams against the stony floor. A tentacle shoots out, quickly twisting around a loudly protesting miniature creature and yanking it from its insecure position before forcefully nestling it in a new spot somewhere in front of her. Its desperate struggles do nothing to save it — though not for lack of trying — and the Arxur is quickly restrained against the soft, fatty wall of Jiyuulia’s belly, pinned underneath a limb that individually weighs more than it does. Before its struggles can escalate to violence, two more tentacles digs into its sides, running up and down in a crude form of torture as they slither and poke at any softer bits of tissue.
*EEEEEIIII! Nooo-hehe-oo—mrph!*
Ahh, that’s better. Now, where was I?
Oh yeah, the riverbank. I, er, we, uh…
How do I put this?
…
Hmm. So, uhm, I’m sure it comes as no surprise to you listener— ers! Listeners, but the temporary respite at the end of my last entry was short-lived. I only managed to get about half an hour of peace between me signing off and Kyrix beginning to wake up, and the rest of the survivors weren’t far behind him.
Seeing as how we were, y’know, totally lost, lacking any form of equipment whatsoever beyond my pad and torn clothing, and all probably at least slightly injured, I had taken it upon myself to, during my short break, prepare a quick speech detailing our unfortunate predicament to give to the crew while they were temporarily incapacitated.
Knowing my audience, I’d even prepared a nice little presentation out of some smoothed pebbles to act as a visual aid for the Butcher. It wasn’t the most detailed thing out there, and I was totally missing both the pretty lady and the weather segment, but all in all, I was pretty happy with the “highlights” I’d setup. I wasn’t gonna be optimistic with our collective chances of survival anything so ridiculous, but it felt like I was making progress, and I figured I could rely on the recently comatose state of my audience and the near-death experience we’d all recently shared to help temper reactions and allow me to introduce a little group cohesion before somebody could panic and do whatever it is Arxur do when they freak out in confined spaces — e.g., splatter my guts all over the floor.
I needn’t have bothered. The instant everyone had finished expelling the copious amounts of water they’d swallowed and I’d managed to finagle Kyrix into somewhat of a seated position, Hothead started going off about it somehow being everyone’s else’s fault that we were all in this mess, and that all of us (minus me, who was at fault for a litany of other things) were all sorry excuses for Arxur that needed to learn from his example and do their jobs properly — after all, not even he could carry the whole team on his shoulders.
Given the nature of our crew’s fragile egos, it’s honestly a little surprising he managed to get as far as he did. He’d accused us all of being illegitimate bastards, compared our collective intellects to that of a fruit fly, gone on a rather uncomfortably long and heartfelt spiel about mucus stains and public seating, and was halfway through a tirade on property rights relating to improvised emergency flotation devices before the Butcher’s limited cognition finally managed to catch up with what was happening, resulting in her lunging at him with three limbs at once and howling “Island Piñata!”
To his credit, Hothead reacted with a speed befitting his occupation, turning and fleeing the scene before the furious ball of predatory rage that was the Butcher could manage to do anything more than tear open his lower back, but with really only one direction to go that wasn’t back into the river, that “plan” cumulated in him peeling off into the darkness of the tunnels before the Butcher could regain her footing and follow him, screeching something unintelligible about “the DPS” while trying and failing to avoid falling face-first over every larger rock in the way.
To make matters worse, somewhere between the third and fourth stumble, the blood he’d managed to smear over the last three rocks triggered something in our other crazy, and with him joining the chase, it wasn’t thirty seconds before the fading echoes of the three morons were all I had left of half my original audience, their screaming voices slowly dimming from somewhere within the unknown black and leaving us with absolutely no method of tracking them down whatsoever.
As you might imagine, a murder plot breaking out before everyone had managed to stand up straight and shake the fuzz out of their heads was somewhat… demoralizing, for those of us left behind. But if you look on the bright side, at least I wasn’t alone in my suffering this time! My most unpredictable audience member — the one real adult here on this trip aside from myself — was left especially stunned by the near-instantaneous rate at which something I’d been involved in had degraded into an uncontrollable violent chaos that put everyone’s lives at risk. I couldn’t tell you why that is — one must wonder where he’s been all this time to somehow not expect my life to fall apart at the slightest opportunity — but with his eyes bugging out and his jaw hanging half open, coupled with the fervent glances at my less-than-impressed visage… well, it’s no matter. I ought to think I managed an impression somewhere in there.
Ah, well. Whether or not he’s reconsidering his stance on the doughiest Kolshian alive, I still find it hilarious that somehow, even after all this time, he still expects the other crewmembers to need a reason for them to screw everything up.
Is it messed up that I find his naivety an endearing quirk?
Jiyuulia hums, seemingly hesitant about something. It’s fairly loud, and the resultant rumbling of her chest and stomach set off a new peal of screaming laughter from the Arxur, still totally inattentive to her words in its hysteria. Occasionally, a series of wet slapping sounds can be heard, starting and stopping whenever the Arxur begins to quiet, and the position of the Arxur relative to the microphone will shift up and down rapidly, sending it deep into further fits of laughter.
Given all this talk about him, I guess now’s as good a time as any I’ll ever get to introduce him. Listener, meet Orderly, former station guard, full-time hyper-neurotic nervous wreck.
I’ll admit I may have been perhaps a tad harsh on him in my last entry; I didn’t know the guy, and given the regular assortment of literally predatory Predator-Diseased crazies on this trip and my own poor mood at the time, I wasn’t exactly feeling optimistic about my chances of actually getting someone who was even halfway reliable down here. But fortune’s been rather indecisive as of late when it comes to me, and seeing as how I think I’m rather deserving of a chance for some actual, willingly-provided help with how things have gone thus far, I’d like to go out on a bit of a thinner limb here and tentatively say that, given my choices of Arxur, Arxur, and Arxur, he might actually be worth taking with me.
Still, though, what I wouldn’t do for a proper Gojid…
Yeah, though. Unlike every other Arxur I’ve had the pleasure of knowing so far — barring Kyrix, that is, who’s been shockingly obedient for a bloodthirsty monster — Orderly is… well, orderly. Rather than being some bullheaded retard with an inability to understand such nuances as “scheduling” or “regular duties” like I’ve come to expect from such a twisted waste of an attempt at sapience as his race tends to be, Orderly’s probably the most right-angled, waxed-crest, day-planner-in-hand kinda guy I’ve ever met.
If there’s another person on this trip who’s been having as much fun as he and I, I haven’t noticed, because so far, the only emotions I’ve caught from the overly-cortisonal disaster are reminiscent of an all-too-familiar grad student I used to know that, at the time, had been averaging two hours of sleep a night while strung out on — if my memory serves — at least seven different stimulants of varying levels of legality. In particular, she’d been having thoughts during an early-morning binge session that’d left her barely able to stand because it was three hours before her thesis defense, and rather than sleep, she’d spent six hours of the night before on a call with the student disability and accommodations office arguing over the plainly discriminatory size of the showers in Solegnolia Hall, and how it was unfair and unjust of the school to restrict the largest showers to those of certain species rather than by total body volume.
Except that in his case, rather than dealing with his emotions by drowning them in excess sugar and sleeping off the subsequent hormonal crash for two days straight afterwards, Orderly’s just been in that state the whole time I’ve known him, and so far I’ve been given no reason to doubt that he’s been like this the whole trip, his fingers constantly twitching for a stylus of some sort as he levels an incredulous, almost worrisome gaze of simultaneous fascination and envy at me whenever I pull out my exclusively tentacle-friendly pad.
Before you ask, no, I have not offered him the chance to use the calendar app. I’ve only got the one valuable possession left, I’m not just gonna lend it out without some serious incentives.
And yes, getting my “disproportional” arse out of having to play Dance Mania as a Takkan again is considered a “serious incentive.” My pride can only take so much. My cankles, even less.
Either way, from both my own light discussions I’ve managed to hold with the guy and what I’ve managed to pick up from the others, Orderly’s former job… err, more, “specialization,” really, and the other half of where his name comes from? Stampede Suppression Handler.
It might be a throwback, listener, but do you remember, back when we were in the cells on the cattle station, how I suggested that a rampaging Mazic would’ve made for a serious threat to station stability, (not that it would matter now) and that the Arxur were likely using the odd cell layout as a method of breaking their spirits in order to nullify the danger they posed? Well, as it turns out, engineering solutions aren’t the only solutions the Dominion implements when it comes to this “common issue.”
The parallels to Exterminators are a bit uncomfortable, really, but “Incongruity Reduction and Neutralization Officers” like Orderly participated in “optimization” operations related to “inefficient use of resources and manpower.” That is to say, Orderly is a professional problem-puncher, and much like the rest of his kind, he wasn’t made to be too discriminatory on who or what that problem was. Rather than dwell on the rather… unfortunate… implications of that particular phrase, I’ll just use the examples he gave me.
Suppose, for a minute, that a prized Takkan stud has escaped from his cell, deciding that his time is better spent running amok down the halls and putting a fat dent in every flat piece of metal he sees. Admin disagrees, and would like to have him put back in his cell without ruining his capacity for creating further offspring. Orderly’s en route as we speak.
Or, for a more pertinent example, say, oh, I don’t know, there’s a mentally-challenged Arxur causing a scene that you needed to neutralize immediately, but for whatever reason, they’re also somehow important enough that you can’t just slit the guy’s throat and be done with it? Well, try replacing “Arxur” with “Predator Diseased soon-to-be-patient” — because honestly we’re really not losing out on any fidelity with at least two out of the three here — and ask yourself: what would a normal, civilized society do in that situation?
…
Hah! I knew you were smart, listener! You call the Exterminators, and they deal with it. Now just make both your patient and your “Exterminator” evil monsters beyond all bounds of any ethical system ever devised, and you’ve got yourself a solid idea of what was going on here. Were he some real person back home rather than the beast he is, he’d have a solid job with the Exterminators or one of the PD facilities, either capturing those who wouldn’t turn themselves in or handling the high-risk patients undergoing treatment as an — you guessed it — orderly.
See? It fits so well!
And may the stars above forgive me, for I’ve had very few high points to go off of over the course of this whole adventure, and with my sanity where it’s at, I’ve really ought to take the humor where I can find it, but this still continues to send me: How many other prey out there can say they had a problem, and got to call Dominion Law Enforcement to come fix it?
Jiyuulia laughs.
Not many, I can tell you that!
So yeah. No points for guesses on who my favorite down here’s been. Barring Kyrix, of course.
…
Speaking of the little guy, what do you think, Great Hunters? Has it been long enough yet?
Yeah, I think so too.
Fabric rustles as a heavy limb lifts itself from the Arxur. It gasps loudly with the movement, and its breathing is ragged, coming in heavy, rapid bursts.
You gonna behave this time?
…
The limb moves again. The Arxur’s breath hitches.
Well? I need an answer!
There’s a brief flash of movement. The Arxur beings to laugh again, this time without a muffling tentacle cutting off its airway. It’s a high-pitched, chirping note, an odd sound for the conventionally drum-like noise usually associated with Arxur, but according to available materials, not a particularly unusual one for Arxur young. See Reference 46C for further examples and wave models.
*Ye-yes! Squi-shy tickles!*
And don’t you forget it. But while you were fighting for your life, I was getting some of the boring stuff out of the way. We’re doing introductions of the crew now. Did you have anything to say about him?
*About who?*
Oh, right, I’m doing… uhh… y’know… the guy. The guy who was with us. The other non-stabby one, not the pilot.
*Oh! Giznel is nice. He’s really smart, and he knows a lot of secrets! And he lets me do important work! Like, there was this one time he had me sort out the little tasty-looking blocks in the engine bay. They’re not tasty, but I didn’t know that yet, and they’d all fallen off the wall after somebody hit the other side too hard. I had to sort the oily-tasting, burny-tasting, and nothing-tasting ones into different boxes before they melted and burned the floor too much. I was fast, and he said I did a good job!*
…Right. Was this before or after the water filter failed?
*Before! I think. I don’t really remember that day very good. You should ask Giznel. He always knows that stuff.*
Jiyuulia sighs. The audio doesn’t pick it up with any clarity, but she says something as she does. The tone is remarkably disappointed.
Right. Yeah. I’ll just do that the next time I see him. That’ll go well.
*Ooh! Can I be there? I haven’t talked to him in a while. The last time was when he was confused earlier and wanted to know how I controlled you so well, something about you being “almost professional,” whatever that means. I told him it was really easy because you were special and not really a prey at all, so I actually didn’t have to control you because you could control yourself, and were even acting as my guide instead!*
…Ah. And how’d he take that?
*Really weird! Instead of being happy I answered his question, he got really nervous and started warning me about how “those above were always watching, even if it wasn’t obvious,” which I told him was dumb because I already knew you were here to watch for the Great Hunters and you’re the most obvious person I’ve ever seen, and he really should have known that you weren’t normal without having to ask. He left the room after that, and he’s been really busy since then, always needing to do something and never having any more work for me.*
…
A loud boom blasts the microphone as the pad falls to the floor, skittering along the rough stone. Jiyuulia, without a word, gets up, plods off, and crashes to the floor in a heavy thud some distance away. The cave ambiance is too loud to hear much of her after that, but the occasional high-pitched (for Jiyuulia’s unusual vocal register, that is) squeal still reaches the microphone from time to time. Whether it is raucous laughter or muffled crying is hard to tell. It’s very possible that it’s both.
*Squishy?*
The next few squeals are louder, though no less ambiguous. Note the mutterings and odd sloshing noises that occur after the second instance of the sound.
*Huh. I thought she only did this in her room.*
The recording pauses for about half an hour. When it resumes, it does so suddenly, and without any sort of fanfare. Jiyuulia is quieter, more reserved than she was before.
I think I’m good now.
A-hem. So. Disregarding some pertinent recent revelations in the interest of my continued sanity…
Giznel, apparently, was the first one to snap himself out of it, sprinting off in the direction of the soon-to-be-lost crewmembers and the unfortunately still necessary pilot. He did so with flawless grace and form, his single-minded determination evident to all those who saw him… for about thirty feet. The whole effect didn’t really last beyond the part where the predator managed to immediately trip over the same foot-tall rock shelf the pilot had first tumbled over, slamming his head into the ground the instant he’d passed over the boundary between the darkness of the tunnels and the safety of the moss’s light. He wasn’t hurt by the fall, at least not beyond his wounded pride — not that that was ever going to be salvageable to begin with after today — but even as another loud boom echoed from deeper into the tunnel and the then suddenly very audible screaming reached a pitch I hadn’t known Arxur were quite capable of until then, the hunt for the crew was over before it had even began, stalled before it could even truly begin as the lone hunter was forced to stop at the edge of the available light.
Normally, that’s where it would’ve stopped. Unlike the hooligans that had sprinted off into the darkness under the motivations of either insanity, threats of homicide, or both, it was clear to those of us who didn’t have claws wrapped around our throats that it was perhaps not the safest course of action to go barreling down a pitch-black deathtrap of a tunnel filled with an unknowable number of trip hazards and rather inconveniently located chest-high crystalline stalagmites growing out of the walls. The scenario only got worse when the whole purpose of the thing was to find and catch multiple dangerous and combative individuals that were all clearly having some sort of episode, even if the person responsible for the (de?)escalation did have some experience in the matter.
Unfortunately for us, the stakes were far too high for us to ever even consider giving up, and as much as it pains me to say, the pilot’s skillset, though rather limited, is still far too valuable for us to consider him a write off whenever things got bad. Hence, enter me, and more specifically, this pad.
I’m sure you’ve used a pad before, listener. Who hasn’t, really? They’re useful for a huge number of different applications, including but not limited to: day planning, record taking, short-range communications, time-wasting, and projecting games of skill for me to lose at to a four-year-old — along with contacting secretive government intelligence agencies, apparently.
Anyway, the point I’m trying to get at here is that most models nowadays tend to have this little thing on the back called a flashlight, and — despite what you might think — these have a purpose beyond just being something your dad can yell at you for after you fail to bend light around three separate corners while he finagles with something on the underside of the hovercar. The light-creating device came with problems, like the previously stated issue with my personal model’s exclusively tentacle-friendly nature and my status as the sole being within a dozen parsecs blessed with such useful appendages, but all in all, it only took a mere forty-five seconds of intense panicking to figure out which way to point it (not into one’s eyes) and flip it on, allowing resumption of the quickly halted hunt, except this time, extenuating factors required that the party be headed by an egregiously unfit herbivorous noncombatant rather than literally anyone else.
My opinion on being at the front has not changed since the last time I mentioned it, by the way. Alas, neither has an opportunity arisen for me to get out of it.
Oh well.
I know I’m kinda setting this whole thing up to be the start of the next great adventure I got dragged on — thankfully not literally this time — but I’ll have to let you down, listener. I’m not trying to make the story about myself here.
Actually, all things considered, the chase from there on went pretty well. Apart from the part where the dedicated tunnel blocker got stuck in the front, the actual scouting operation for the lost crewmembers was not actually all that exciting.
I mean, it absolutely involved more violence than any prey creature should ever be comfortable with; Giznel broke out some absolutely vile and most definitely illegal headlock maneuvers that I couldn’t even begin to describe, and there were more sharp objects being sent in my direction than I particularly cared for, sure. But while that’s all very well and bad, and perhaps it’s just the massive amount of desensitization and PD I’ve picked up on the way, but honestly? When put into the context of everything else that’s happened so far, watching some idiot predator get bent backwards for the fourth time that day is far from the worst thing I’ve had to witness just within the last twelve hours, and adding a drop of police brutality to the ocean of gratuitous violence this whole thing’s been is not really gonna be bursting any flood barriers here. Nobody ended up with fourteen slashing wounds and two individually fatal counts of arterial bleeding.
Stars, the Butcher didn’t even manage to make it to the fight, having ran face-first into a wall where the tunnel made an abrupt turn halfway to where the real bloodbath was going on and consequently knocking herself out. And without her, it was easy. Orderly was semi-competent, and for all Paintbrush likes his blood art, he has to be the one responsible for its creation for it to be any fun, apparently, and he’d left his tools at home. More natural methods of scattering one’s internal organs across the surrounding environment, like impaling oneself on a stalagmite in utter darkness, for example, just didn’t hold the same appeal. He surrendered without a fight.
Jiyuuila shifts slightly. It’s a careful motion.
Now, you might be forgiven for thinking that subtracting the two people trying to actually commit the murder from the murder scene would calm the situation down a little bit. And if those involved were any other species, you’d be right! Maybe even if it weren’t these specific Arxur; the crew has struck me as somewhat “below average” in most things, really. Regardless, Hothead was involved as the “victim” here, and as you may recall, Giznel had to demonstrate his moves on somebody who hadn’t already surrendered or otherwise fallen unconscious, soo…
Same old same old. You already know what happens whenever he gets involved, and it ain’t pretty. Ugh.
At least it was mostly blunt force trauma this time. Mostly.
Jiyuulia exhales loudly through her nose.
At this rate, it’ll be a miracle if there’s enough of him left to remember how to fly the ship straight by the time we make it that far, much less actually make any progress towards getting us home.
Not that any of the rest of us know how to do that either.
…Aaanyways, I sat on the floor and held a light, thinking my happy thoughts while watching an Arxur warrior beat someone to within an inch of their life a few feet in front of me. Kyrix got to sit behind me facing the wall. What more is there to say about our involvement, really?
Soo… yeah. No special glories stolen from Kyrix, here. Things went really pretty well from there on out, except for, y’know, all the times they didn’t, but hey! Such is life. Or unlife — I should really probably get that clear for my little charge here. But after all, it wouldn’t be much of a trial without hardship. They’re kinda all pains by definition.
…
Speaking of the little terror himself, I’m sure you’ve noticed that he’s been absent for this particular section. Stars above, I’m sure you’ve noticed that everyone’s been absent for a while now! And I’m getting to that, don’t worry, but as for the miniature hellspawn himself, the explanation is a little simpler: He’s recuperating after a brief “healing spell” involving a series of circular rubbing motions and a glob of “magic slime” being pressed into his brand new head wound left by the rock shard he’d managed to lodge in his forehead after I left him unsupervised for a grand total of two minutes. Don’t ask me how it happened, either, the boy literally cannot walk on his own and was feet from the nearest sharp object (that wasn’t himself) when I’d left him to deal with an “emergency.”
As it turns out, my future as a masseuse is bright, because my spell was so effective that he almost immediately calmed down and fell asleep. Unfortunately, my future as a mattress is even brighter, and this is the sixth time this week that the devious little predator has decided that I was a good place to take a nap. Safe, soft, warm, and apparently I even “smell really good sometimes,” which is a compliment one always wishes to hear from a member of the race that abducted me for sustenance less than a month ago.
Still, though, as entertaining as having an Arxur ensconced in my fat folds is, the negative effect on my already strained productivity is “not great.” I might have to try making him a blanket out of what remains of my shirt or something later, who knows. He’d probably like that.
Jiyuulia sighs.
…What am I doing with my life?
First Prev Part 2

Playing By Ear
Bloodhound Saga
Wakeup Super
-
First Prev Next
-
WARNING: LENGTHY SONG AHEAD
-
Memory transcription subject: Indali, Krakotl Business Student (First Term) White Hill University
Date [standardized human time]: November 2nd, 2136
The synthetic sounds cut through the silence of the empty campus, high-pitched beeps, whines, and whistles that set my feathers on end. The eerie sweeping noise reminded me of the winds that weaved in and out of the surrounding hills, chilling me with that imagery alone. There were no rhythmic anchors to latch onto, just haunting howls that filled the endless void.
I couldn't tell what Brad was thinking, his expression hidden behind the reflective visor. Mezil, despite his apprehension regarding the style, leaned forward in his seat to be closer to the pad. Even Linev's indifferent demeanor showed subtle signs of curiosity. I, myself, was a little confused, unsure what to make of this odd choice of opening.
It's a bit difficult to think of this as music…
The otherworldly sounds continued until all of it eventually faded into silence.
Then…
The band struck without warning. I parsed my memory for the names of the instruments, thinking back to what they used for the concert last term.
What were those string instruments called again? Guartors or something…
Ugh, I can't remember.
Regardless, they attacked in short, powerful strikes, perfectly in sync with one another and the percussion. Empty space stood starkly between each hit, creating breathing room and accenting the strict cohesion.
The ensemble took on an echoing effect, filling that previous open silence with distant aftershocks as the strikes gradually became more frequent. Occasionally, they landed on a slightly lengthier tone before jumping to the next set of decisive sounds.
Their sound was simple, just short motions that brought the pitch up and down like a staggered hop up a stairwell. But, after ascending and descending a few more times, the band finally latched onto something more melodious.
The plucked strings became even more layered as one instance took the lead. It sang a cleaner tone that soared above the crunchier sound below. Though, this moment of prim musicality didn’t last for long as the band flew into the next section with reckless abandon.
The percussion and guitars finally desynced from one another, no longer wanting to leave any open space at all. It was a wall of sound with a breakneck tempo, intense enough to probably send an older Venlil cowering under the table. But, the group around me was unfazed, as was I.
A distant voice rang out behind the instrumentation, pushing itself up to the sky as another fell in to support the motion. The percussion pounded below, forming the updrafts that carried the ensemble to new heights.
Finally, they tapped the breaks. The sound of the plucked strings…
Guitar! That’s what it was called!
The sound of the guitar changed again, taking on a fuzzier quality that, in tandem with the higher pitch, seemed to make it softer in a sense. The percussion and other guitar part interjected on and off, adding variation and giving the song a perch to briefly land on before taking off again.
Overall, the sound was foreign, yet it contained some familiar elements that I recalled from both Venlil music that I heard in passing as well as Krakotl songs that might have floated around back home. One thing was certain, there was no caution exercised for the instincts of the listener. Or, perhaps these were in line with Human instincts.
Maybe they’re in line with mine.
The strings blasted out powerful, lengthy tones as the drums rattled and boomed just behind. They created a thick wall of sound that left no space for questions. It was all business, overwhelming and absolute.
Just as I was acclimating to that sound, the band made another change. They all synced up again to play a single beat, putting them all on the same page. Then, the guitar made a sweeping up and down motion before they resynced again. This pattern repeated a few times, even placing some lengthier tones between, but it was truly just an intermediary section for the next development. All at once, the volume dropped as the strings and drums played a quick yet restrained cadence, growing more and more audible before striking two powerful tones that launched them forward into…
That sounds like…
The tone of the guitar seemed to become…taunak, a term reserved for a particular sound that Krakotl could create with their voices. Other Federation species couldn’t quite achieve it, but this Human instrument, and whatever electronics it was running through, had gotten incredibly close.
Does it count as taunak if it’s not done vocally? I’m not actually sure. It’s kind of unprecedented.
Regardless, it carried the exact substance that taunak was meant to achieve. Some might call the sound grimy, though I liked to think of it more as unfiltered. For a Krakotl to achieve the tone, they had to open up their airways significantly, creating a very raw sound. In this case, it was able to switch between frequencies much more easily than a voice could achieve. To that degree, it sounded almost unnatural, yet interesting…
Just like that, they transitioned again to a new cadence, several quick tones, a brief pause, and a final strike before looping back around. I found myself bobbing forward on the last hit, and Brad seemed to be doing the same. Mezil nodded along on the beat while Linev tapped a claw against the table.
There was a certain momentum pushing the whole song forward. Even when the pattern broke, everything seemed to just coast through until it started again. There was yet another guitar tone too, one that sounded like it wasn’t being put through electronics. The sheer versatility of the instrument was on display, and the ferocity of the drums carried everything along with ease.
Another melody suddenly entered, sailing over the rest of the band. Mezil’s ears perked up in recognition, though it wasn’t anything I’d heard before.
“Overture…” he muttered.
“Yep,” Brad replied.
Maybe it’s a borrowed motif from another Human song?
I didn’t get much time to consider the brief interaction before the thundering of the drums was met with what sounded like actual thunder. Or, maybe it was explosives? It was certainly heavy, and I could see why Brad might describe this piece as such. The whole song was a display of power, of unwavering strength!

And the meek shall inherit the earth…

Wha?
As the band burst forth again, I was left reeling. All that tremendous sound and those were the first spoken lyrics? Having been completely caught off guard, I was shoved from my perch and into the waves of sound. Just as my mind started to find purchase again, the vocalist returned with an unrelenting scream.

We've taken care of everything!
The words you read, the songs you sing!
The pictures that give pleasure to your eye!
It's one for all, and all for one!
We work together, common sons!
Never need to wonder how or why!

They played a familiar riff and-

We are the Priests of the Temples of Syrinx!
Our great computers fill the hallowed halls!
We are the Priests of the Temples of Syrinx!
All the gifts of life are held within our walls!

The…Temples of Syrinx?
For a moment, I pondered if that was a real Human organization, or just a work of fiction for the song. Ultimately, I decided it didn’t matter. From the lyrics, it sounded like they controlled everything, and it didn’t take much thought to figure out who Brad equated them to.

Look around at this world we've made!
Equality, our stock-in-trade!
Come and join the Brotherhood of Man!
Oh, what a nice, contented world!
Let the banners be unfurled!
Hold the Red Star proudly high in hand!

As the chorus returned, I tried to analyze the fantastical lyrics I was hearing.
The temples control art, music, and ‘all the gifts of life’. That seems a bit exaggerated at a glance, but…our artistic education is awfully expensive in comparison to the Humans’. The line about a ‘contented world’ definitely rings true. How long have we been locked in a war with the Arxur? How long have we just accepted that?
The other three around the table looked more intense than before, even Linev…
How much about the Federation have we passively accepted because we saw no alternative? What is all that loyalty worth if it means genetic tampering and censorship? They manipulated species, even mine, and we just let them.
A few more rapid-fire guitar riffs rattled me with their bombastic nature, then…
The tones lightly cascaded down into silence. It seemed otherworldly after all the intensity, and for a moment I thought the song might already be over. But, after only a moment, sounds of water became audible, along with the tentative plucking of yet another guitar.
The player seemed unsure, bumbling around between tones with curiosity. They were clearly inexperienced, though they explored the instrument all the same. Little by little, they began to put the pieces together, gradually garnering more confidence as they discovered just what functionality the guitar possessed.
The nameless musician plucked about the tones slowly, familiarizing themselves little by little. Their awkward dissonance became smooth harmonies. They worked up and down through the full range of tones, experimenting with the feel of the instrument and building a little confidence all the same.
Soon enough, they had a bright, soothing melody to work with. The calming tones carried just over the din of the water, filling the space with a reserved, yet beautiful sound. The vocalist perched carefully atop, ditching the powerful shouts from before.

What can this strange device be?
When I touch it, it gives forth a sound
It's got wires that vibrate and give music
What can this thing be that I found?

The guitar was hidden. That explains the hesitance in his playing. He doesn’t even know what it is.
That didn’t seem to hinder the nameless explorer, however. Quickly, he grew quite adept with the thing. His playing grew faster and more confident as it rose in volume, taking on a more energetic quality that filled the air.
Like a chick first taking flight, the song spread its wings, picking itself off the ground and soaring high into the space above.

See how it sings like a sad heart
And joyously screams out its pain
Sounds that build high like a mountain
Or notes that fall gently like rain

As if to accompany those words, the tones gradually dipped lower and lower, a lengthy stepwise descent akin to gliding down from a rooftop. Having spent my life on Venlil Prime, that was about all I was ever able to manage with the higher gravity, so it felt familiar.
Once landed, the guitar transitioned to a new melody, still played softly, but divorced from the sporadic jumpy quality it had before. Instead, it had become a flowing pattern of tension and release, a testament to the continued improvement.

I can't wait to share this new wonder
The people will all see its light
Let them all make their own music
The Priests praise my name on this night

Just as before, as soon as I grew accustomed to the atmosphere, I was yanked into a new section without warning. The full band made its grandiose return, entering the song with the same prominence they’d shown before. They played big, boisterous tones that overtook the timid sound of the hidden guitar.
And yet, the discoverer returned as he approached the temple, ready to share what he found.

I know it's most unusual to come before you so
But I've found an ancient miracle
I thought that you should know
Listen to my music and hear what it can do
There's something here as strong as life
I know that it will reach you

The return of the cacophony showed just what the priests thought of the man.

Yes, we know, it's nothing new, it's just a waste of time!
We have no need for ancient ways, the world is doing fine!
Another toy that helped destroy the elder race of man!
Forget about your silly whim, it doesn't fit the plan, no!

Doesn't fit the plan…

I can't believe you're saying these things just can't be true
Our world could use this beauty, just think what we might do
Listen to my music and hear what it can do
There's something here that's as strong as life
I know that it will reach you

But, the priests did not listen.

Don't annoy us further! Oh, we have our work to do!
Just think about the average, what use have they for you?
Another toy that helped destroy the elder race of man!
Forget about your silly whim, it doesn't fit the plan!

With that, the song exploded forth.
The lead guitar threw away its inhibition and charged onward while the drums galloped behind, rattling out relentless strikes like gunfire. Even the low tones below showed no restraint. The whole ensemble became a wave of crashing sound, sweeping through the air.
I felt my body tense, realizing that this was what I’d been warned about. It was far more intense than anything I’d heard before, absolutely overshadowing what they played in the concert last term. There was an inkling of fear in the back of my mind that my logical mind couldn’t quite block out, that ‘instinct’ so meticulously crafted by the Federation that told me to run away. But, along with it, there was another feeling, a deep frustration that bubbled up in response. After everything they had done to us, why should I give into that panic?
I let the fast-flying tones run through me, riding the turbulent winds as they carried through the soundscape. The surrounding campus became lost in the music, and the wisps of anxiety became overwhelmed in the flow of energy. The intensity was oddly satisfying as my caution was replaced with simple motion. And, after a moment, I felt surprisingly at home on the fierce gusts of the piece.
And yet, as soon as I reached that epiphany, the atmosphere changed once more. I should have been used to it by this point, yet it still caught me off guard.
The guitar became wrapped in a dreamy echo, as though it were being played at the end of a long pipeline. The music drifted around us, and I noticed that the other three had slumped back in their seats, letting themselves be taken in by the ebb and flow. I found myself doing the same, letting my muscles relax after the blitz of a section before.

I wandered home through silent streets
And fell into a fitful sleep
Escape to realms beyond the night
Dream, can't you show me the light?

I distant chirp, growing closer and closer, I braced for that which I did not know.
Then, a triumphant sound.

I stand atop a spiral stair, an oracle confronts me there
He leads me on light years away
Through astral nights, galactic days
I see the works of gifted hands
That grace this strange and wondrous land
I see the hand of man arise with hungry mind and open eyes!

The blazing march continued, pounding drums and fiery cymbal crashes leading the way. The guitars fell in line, bounding from step to step with unyielding strength.

They left our planets long ago
The elder race still learn and grow
Their power grows with purpose strong
To claim the home where they belong
Home to tear the Temples down, home to change!

The last remnants of the guitars slowly faded into silence. It hung there for a quiet moment as the white noise of the empty campus butted in. But, after a moment, the trickling water returned, laced with the dreamy guitar reverberating through the arrangement. A melancholy air fell over us, building a sense of longing, an unmet desire for what could be.

The sleep is still in my eyes, the dream is still in my head
I heave a sigh and sadly smile and lie awhile in bed
I wish that it might come to pass, not fade like all my dreams

Two, furious strikes, then-

Just think of what my life might be in a world like I have seen!
I don't think I can carry on, carry on this cold and empty life!
Oh, no!

Emotion. Overwhelming emotion washed over us. There was no specific feeling that I could identify. It was a blend of longing, frustration, sorrow, and regret. I shivered as the guitars wailed, closing my eyes, everything was whisked away in the outpouring of sound.
I felt that pain, that betrayal of trust, to have believed in the Federation for all my life, only to learn what was done to my species. Even now that the truth was revealed, the influence still marked us. Was it possible to feel anger for something I never knew? Would it even make a difference in the end?
There it was. The doubt that had been burrowing into my mind since I came to White Hill, a looming dread that undermined everything I did. I’d watched my assumptions get gradually chipped away over and over since arriving here, and it just felt like I couldn’t find my footing. I was just slipping ever deeper…
My plans keep crumbling. My very identity…
What can I do?

My spirits are low in the depths of despair!
My lifeblood… spills over!

What…can I do?
Though it was muffled, the guitar launched forward with spritely energy, dragging me from my stupor. The full band took its chance in a heartbeat, crashing forth with a blazing gust behind them. They summoned a driving force around them that spurred the song onward, unhindered by the surrounding darkness.
What was this spirit, this unstoppable persistence? I couldn’t help but feel like the song should have been over already, yet it continued with renewed vigor. Why was I so drawn to it? What was this sensation?
It feels like…I needed to hear this. Like, there’s something in here that I was missing…
I looked around the table. Brad bobbed his head to the rhythm. Mezil seemed enamored with the wall of sound. Linev’s claws tapped along with the drum, so much so that I could have believed his digits were the instruments themselves. All of us were focused in one way or another, lost in the otherworldly music.
The brightness fell into a slightly darker riff, a tension that pulled the song taught. As the percussion continued to hammer away in a cacophony of strikes, the guitars fell into a repeating pattern, three long descending runs followed by a staggered riff. While it looped, I was overtaken by a sense of finality. Somehow, despite my lack of experience with Human music, I knew we were approaching the end.
Another, buzzy sound - I think that’s also a guitar? - entered the mix, shredding through the arrangement in a chaotic breakaway. It was the taunak tone from before, though this time even faster. I wondered, briefly, if it would even be possible for a Krakotl to make that noise. Could our voices adjust fast enough?
Regardless, it flew on its own breeze, followed by none of the other instruments. Instead, the rest of the band provided support from the bottom, pushing it into the wide open skies.
But, just as it reached its climax, the taunak sound fell away, and the ensemble resynchronized again, playing ascending chords that climbed higher and higher. Then, they swooped back down and started again. Up and up, double the speed, and-
One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three.
They landed on just one final chord, playing it over and over like stampeding paws. The percussion pounded with ferocity. The cymbals crashed.
Then, a robotic voice, broadcasted out to everyone…

Attention all Planets of the Solar Federation
Attention all Planets of the Solar Federation
Attention all Planets of the Solar Federation
We have assumed control
We have assumed control
We have assumed control

And all that was left was an ember, the distant screech of feedback, fading into the void…
…
…
…
“So, what’s the verdict?” Brad asked, far too casually after all of that.
“Well…” Mezil began. “I have to admit, out of all the prog rock you've shown me, I think that's my favorite so far. That might just be because it's so topical though. I didn't really expect it to tell a whole story. The other prog I heard was more…metaphorical.”
“That's one of the potential advantages of a song that long,” Brad replied. “Easier to fit a story into it when it's over twenty minutes long.”
The translator converted the value in my head…
“That was over [twenty minutes]?!” I squawked. “But…it passed by so fast…”
Brad gave a hearty laugh.
“You must have been lost in it then! What do you think?”
What do I think about it? There was so much to take in…
“What…happened at the end?” I queried. “Was that the ‘elder race of man’ arriving?”
“That's the implication,” Brad answered. “They finally came to ‘tear the temples down’ as promised. And, with the knowledge gained on their lengthy voyage, they were able to ‘assume control’.”
“Is that…what Humanity will do now that they're warring with Federation planets?”
“Hmm? We didn't come looking for war. War got thrust upon us. I wouldn't say it's one-to-one per se, but it does feel like something needs to be done about the Federation's awful practices. They're like the Temples of Syrinx, repressing everyone and controlling cultural development.”
“It's fucking ridiculous,” Mezil spat. “Art is about expression. It's not something to be policed like that.”
“What did you think, Linev?” Brad turned his head to my passive friend who I just then realized had said nothing since the song ended.
“You were right about it being heavier,” Linev replied. “I, uh, didn't pay much attention to the lyrics if I'm being honest. I was…focused on the drums.”
“That's right,” I recalled what he said before. “You're primarily a percussionist, aren't you?”
“Better at it than I am,” Mezil sighed. “I've never seen a rhythm trip him up, even in some of the more complex pieces. Venlil music might not be very high-tempo, but the length of each music phrase can change wildly. Still, Linev always manages to nail it.”
Linev signaled indifference like it was second nature. It always felt like a reflex to him.
“Frankly, Venlil music is just not that hard to play. Too slow.”
“Think you could play that piece?” Brad mused. “It's a tough one.”
Linev swayed his tail in thought.
“It'd take a lot of practice, but I could probably get it eventually.”
“That's awfully big talk. Neil Peart was one of the best to ever do it, even having been dead for over a hundred years now.”
“Oh yeah,” Mezil interjected. “You said we were twenty-four years too late for that song. What did that mean?”
“Ah, I guess I forgot to mention the title. That piece is called 2112 in reference to the year, and it's divided into multiple movements: Overture, The Temples of Syrinx, Discovery, Presentation, Oracle: The Dream, Soliloquy, and Grand Finale.”
“So…at the time of its creation, it was about a potential future…”
“Pretty much. It's strange just how close they got to reality, though it extended far beyond the Sol system.”
“All of that happened right under our beaks,” I muttered. “The Federation deemed us ‘too aggressive’ and took away everything we were, like we couldn't be trusted to exist on our own terms.”
“The truth is, they can say whatever they want about grand schemes or contented worlds,” Brad grumbled. “They're really just doing it to control you, to keep you complacent.”
“Letting Arxur run over our planets…” Linev looked…distant.
His parents…Was that how they…?
The silence hung over us for a moment, but Brad took a glance down at the table and chuckled.
“Looks like we’ve barely started on our food. I guess we got lost in the song.”
“It was pretty impressive musically,” Mezil replied as he jabbed his utensils at his near-untouched salad. “Must have taken a large ensemble to pull that off.”
“No. It was three guys.”
Mezil nearly choked on his food.
“What?!”
“Well, they layered the guitars and vocals a lot, but all the parts were only played by a three-man band: Neil Peart, drummer and lyricist, Geddy Lee, bassist, keyboardist, and vocalist, and Alex Lifeson, guitarist.”
“That's a hell of a lot of sound for three guys,” Linev spoke with the slightest hint of awe.
“Oh yeah, they were great,” Brad replied. “All three of them were excellent musicians and it showed. They had even more technical pieces as well, but I just thought this one fit in with recent events.”
“I'd never heard a Human sing with a voice like that,” I remarked. “It wasn't the brighter voice you usually use at high pitches.”
“Some folks actually don't like Geddy's voice,” Brad explained. “It's been called whiney or screechy. Personally, I like it a lot. Feels like it fits the band’s sound.”
“I agree. The slight tremble on that one line…Let me see if I can get it…”
I sat up a little straighter and adjusted my syrinx-
Huh…I suppose that’s fitting…
-and did my best to emulate the sound.
“My spirits are low in the depths of despair! My lifeblood…spills over!”
Brad recoiled in surprise.
“Holy shit, you sounded just like him!”
“Krakotl can be really good at impressions,” I replied. “I'm actually better than most, though it's mostly just a cool party trick.”
“You could be in a million cover bands! Wait…can you do my voice?”
“Can you do my voice?” I copied.
“That's fuckin’ wild! Do Mezil next.”
“Ugh…For someone that fancies himself an ambassador for Human music, you sure like to circle back around to the same genre a lot.”
“I don't sound like that!” Mezil protested.
“That's exactly what you sound like,” Linev swayed his tail in amusement.
We gradually moved away from talking about the song. They had me do a few more impressions of prominent figures including Tarva, Sovlin, and even Nikonus. It felt a little wrong doing the last one, but I tried to make him sound as incompetent as possible.
After the way he talked about my species, he deserves it!
Eventually, the impressions ended, and I took to listening. Mezil and Brad had been through a lot in the short time that they were exchange partners. It was fascinating to hear about what went into putting on that concert. Having been a casual observer, I couldn’t possibly have known just how much trouble they went through.
And, what’s more, I found out just how far the influence went! That Human engineering club had been the talk around campus. Come to find out, it was led by Kila, who was Mezil’s girlfriend?!
Linev said his life was nothing special, but he sure has a lot of extraordinary connections.
“Why isn’t Kila here, actually?” the splotchy Venlil asked. “I’m surprised she didn’t join us.”
“She’s just…so busy,” Mezil sighed. “And now, after Cilany’s broadcast, a bunch of her club members are in a tizzy. She’s just trying to maintain some order and get back into the swing of things. They have orders to fill, but everyone is too freaked out to actually get to work.”
“I’ve experienced that myself,” I replied. “I signed up for a few business-related clubs during orientation, but a bunch of them disbanded as soon as the news broke. Or, at least, that’s what they told me. Maybe they just didn’t want a cured predator associated with them…”
“Keep your…uh…beak up,” Brad instructed. “I’m sure you’ll find something else worthy of your time. This area seems a lot more lax than some of the other places I’ve visited on Venlil Prime. You’ll definitely find a group that accepts you around here. I mean, I wound up with this goofball right here.”
“You’re starting to sound like Kila,” Mezil groaned.
“The point is,” Brad continued. “Whatever setbacks you might hit, it’s nothing you can’t recover from.”
It was funny, really. I was receiving such encouraging words from a Human of all people. Since I’d arrived at White Hill, it had seemed like they were so hostile to me. But, after sharing a meal together, Brad talked to me like a friend.
It's clear why Humans have been wary of me. These people came to us with hope in their hearts and what did they get for it? Suddenly, extermination fleets are gunning for Earth. That wasn't their desire…
“Forget about your silly whims! It doesn’t fit the plan!”
All of that…Humans, Krakotl, Gojid, and the others…just because they didn't fit…
“Indali?” Brad snapped me from my thoughts. “You good?”
“Oh, uh, yeah,” I stammered. “It’s just…most of my interactions with Humans have been, well, rightfully hostile. I guess it just caught me off guard that you’re being so supportive. It…doesn’t really feel like I deserve it.”
“You said yourself that you didn’t support Kalsim’s fleet,” he replied. “Frankly, I have no reason to be mad at you. Admittedly, when you first approached, I was ready to hear all manner of insults. I’ve been shouted at by some…not-so-friendly Krakotl that blamed all Humans for Nishtal’s glassing. I guess I was just as prejudiced as you. But, you’ve really shown yourself to have strong character, and Linev is lucky to have you as a friend.”
Linev signaled agreement.
“No one should be judging you for your species, whether they be Humans angry about the fleet or locals that still fear predators. You care about helping people. That’s enough.”
“Damn right,” Mezil added. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I was so hostile towards you earlier. Mom and Dad always taught me to do what I think is right, and I wanted to protect my friend. You approach things with reason though, and that’s more than can be said for many people.”
The praise felt so undeserved. I hadn’t even done anything! Linev still hadn’t found any passion through my efforts, and, though I didn’t hurl vitriol at Brad, I wasn’t necessarily some major advocate for Humans. It felt like I’d accomplished so little, yet they saw something in me that I didn’t…
“Thank you…” I managed. “You’re too kind…”
“Well, I think I need to get a move on,” Brad glanced at the time on his pad. “It’s been nice meeting you two, but I still have work to do here.”
“Yeah, I’m in the same ship,” Mezil said as he stood up from his seat. “Haeli’s still determined to set up her jazz lounge, and I’m the only horn player in all of White Hill. I can’t really tell her ‘no’ in good faith. So, I guess I better get moving on that.”
“Good luck,” Linev stood as well. “Maybe I’ll come by and watch you perform one of these paws.”
As everyone began to go their separate ways, I made sure to get Brad’s attention one more time.
“It was good meeting you!” I blurted. “I’ve kind of just been…avoiding Humans because of my species. I’m happy I got to talk to one of you casually. I think…it helped me come to terms with everything. You know…knowing we used to be predators…”
“It’s no problem,” Brad answered. “There’s this saying: if you’re going through hell, keep on going. You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there.”
My translator only gave me a rough approximation of what he said, but I still got the idea.
“Right. Thank you!”
Brad and Mezil took their leave, and I found myself walking alongside Linev for a short while as we made our way back to our respective dorms.
“I’m glad you invited me,” I told him. “It was good for me to get out of my room. I was just sitting there, stewing in all the bad thoughts. This really helped me get my mind moving forward again.”
“Good,” Linev replied. “I was worried after you gave such short responses. My Gojid neighbor’s been crying almost constantly since the broadcast. I didn’t want that to happen to you.”
“It was a lot to take in,” I admitted. “Does it really not bother you? Me being a…predator?”
“You’re not a predator. I’ve seen predators, and that term doesn’t even apply to Humans. At least, it doesn’t apply to all of them. You care about people too much. Hell, the only reason you wanted to be my friend was to help me. I don’t care what your species used to eat. None of that matters now.”
“It sure feels like it matters,” I sighed. “I put in so much effort to try and plan out my path through school, but it just got instantly derailed. I’m…starting to wonder if it was ever worth doing all of that, knowing what I know now.”
“Hmm? What do you mean?”
“Well…I was so sure that I had to have everything on a predetermined track but…”
“Forget about your silly whims! It doesn’t fit the plan!”
“…I don’t know. I’m wondering if maybe I approached all of this the wrong way, but I don’t know what other way to approach it. It’s always been so steadfast.”
Linev stopped and turned his ears towards me.
“Honestly, I think you worry too damn much. Plans…no plans…you have ambition, and that’s worth a lot. Just feel it out. You’ll get where you need to go eventually.”
I chuckled and put a wing to my face.
“And here I was thinking that I’d have to pull you along. I guess you’re better at this than I am.”
“Hey, I have to help you,” Linev replied. “If I don’t get you out of your funk, how are you going to help me get out of mine? I’m still counting on you to finish what you started, so quit getting hung up on things that don’t matter.”
He’s right. I just need to…assume control…
“You’re right,” I conceded. “I’ve never let the setbacks get to me before, and I’m not going to start now! Once things get moving around campus again, we’ll pick up where we left off. I’m going to find you some ambition, damn it! Mark my words!”
“Fair enough. But…we could stand to dial it back just a bit…”
…
“Yeah, alright. We can take things a bit slower. Just know that I won’t give up until you’ve found something you believe is worth striving for.”
“Now you’re sounding more like yourself,” Linev observed. “Well, I’ve done my due diligence, and my dorm is over this way, so I guess I’ll see you later.”
I signaled goodbye.
“Bye, Linev! Enjoy your relaxation! When everything is open again, we’re getting right back to our search!”
-
Memory transcription subject: Linev, Venlil General Studies Student (First Term) White Hill University
Date [standardized human time]: November 2nd, 2136
Maybe the Krakotl really were predators. Indali sure seemed hell-bent on hunting down something that I’d be interested in. As soon as she started to move past her own personal hang ups, she was right back in my business.
Then again, I encouraged her, so I guess it’s my own fault.
Truth be told, I was just happy to see her acting more lively. She’d seemed so out of it when we met at the Crystal Cart. It felt unnatural knowing how she acted normally. Luckily, something about the meeting had helped her work through the doubt. Some combination of our words and that song…
That song…
I had to admit, that was a hell of a drum part. It blew any Venlil percussion out of the water. I hesitated to call it ‘inspiring’, but I did find myself feeling a bit…challenged. Brad asked if I thought I could play the part, and I realized that, for once, I wasn’t actually sure. I was confident that I could play pretty much any Federation percussion part, but that song was on a whole new level.
I wanted to say that I could do it, but…
Can I? It wouldn’t be easy.
I took out my pad as I made my way into the dorm, navigating to the campus site. After following a few links, I found what I was looking for.
I know Kila’s been really busy…but maybe she has time for one electronic drum kit…?
-
First Prev Next

Have you ever felt like certain numbers keep appearing in your life, almost like they are trying to tell you something?
That’s how I felt when I started seeing the number 333 everywhere, I went.
It wasn’t until I started researching the meaning behind angel numbers that I realized the significance of this particular number.
Today, I’ll dive into the symbolism, biblical meaning, and my personal experiences with angel number 333.
So without further ado, let’s dive in, shall we? 🙂

👉GET A FREE PERSONALIZED NUMEROLOGY READING

What Is the Meaning & Symbolism?

According to numerology, the number 3 represents creativity, self-expression, and optimism.
When this number is repeated three times, it signifies a strong connection with the spiritual realm.
Angel number 333 is often seen as a message of encouragement from your angels to embrace your creativity and trust your abilities. It’s a sign that whatever you’re going through, you have the support of the universe behind you.
It’s worth pointing out that when we have the same digit repeating three times whether it’s 333, 444, or 222 – it amplifies the energy of that number. So with angel number 333, its message is even more powerful!
In various spiritual traditions, numbers like 333 are believed to be portals connecting us with divine energies. In numerology, these repeating digits indicate that a spirit guide or guardian angel is trying to convey an important message to us.
I Recommend Reading: 555 Angel Number: The Meaning, Symbolism & Significance

The Universe Is Trying to Tell You Something

When you begin seeing 333, it can mean a few things. Firstly, it’s an invitation from the universe to focus on your creative endeavors and live life with joy.
It can also be a reminder that you are never alone and the divine is constantly supporting you in all that you do.
Finally, it can be a sign that it’s time to let go of any doubts or limiting beliefs you have about yourself and your capabilities.
By embracing the creative and spiritual energies associated with this number, you’ll be able to rise up to your true potential.

Love/Twin Flame

If you keep seeing angel number 333 in regard to your love life or twin flame journey, it could represent a time of growth and expansion within that relationship.
It can signify that it’s time to let go of past hurts and step into a more authentic version of yourself.
Your angels are reminding you to communicate openly and honestly with your partner and to trust that true love will always find a way.
Because the number 3 is all about creativity and self-expression, it’s also a sign that you should open your heart to new experiences.
Don’t be afraid to take risks – you never know where the journey will take you!
If you’re single and seeing 333, it can be a reminder to focus on yourself and let go of your limiting beliefs about relationships.
Your angels are encouraging you to trust that the right person will come along at the right time.

The Biblical Meaning

In the Bible, the number 3 is often associated with the Holy Trinity and represents wholeness and completeness.
The number 333 can be seen as a message of divine guidance and reassurance that you are on the right path. It also represents a calling to serve a higher purpose and positively impact the world around you.
The number 333 is linked to Exodus 33:3 in Biblical references to the Promised Land. In this passage, God instructs the Israelites to start their journey toward their inheritance. The phrase “land flowing with milk and honey,” which describes the beautiful and fertile land God promised, appears three times earlier in Exodus (3:8, 17, 13:5) and is repeated twenty times in the Old Testament.
The Son of Man will be in the heart of the earth for 3 days and 3 nights, just as Jonah was in the belly of the whale for the same amount of time (Matthew 12:40).

According to Ezekiel 33:33, God declares that there will be a day when people who claim to love him but do not truly believe and act accordingly will face consequences. Ezekiel predicts that when this day arrives, people will realize that he was a true prophet sent by God.

So what can we take away from this? The appearance of angel number 333 is a reminder to live with faith and trust in the divine. Lean into the goodness of God, listen to your intuition, and enjoy the unconditional love and support of the Divine. The number 333 symbolizes guidance and purpose, encouraging you to stay true to yourself and serve your highest good.

Where Does 333 Usually Appear?

Angel numbers can appear in various ways, such as on license plates, digital clocks, or even in dreams.
Personally, I started seeing the number 333 on receipts, license plates, and even on the time stamp of text messages (3:33).
The key is to trust that these repeated sightings are not just coincidences but messages from your angels.
I highly recommend keeping a personal journal to track these sightings and to reflect on what they mean to you.
When you pay attention to the signs, you may be surprised at how quickly your life changes!
Pay attention to the context in which you see angel number 333 and ask yourself what your angels are trying to tell you.
You can also meditate on the meaning of this number and ask your angels for guidance.
Take a moment to write down any insights that come up and allow yourself the time and space to process these messages.

My Own Experience

I’ll admit, when I first started seeing the number 333 everywhere, I was a bit skeptical.
But over time, the message became clearer, and I began to trust in the guidance of my angels.
Whenever I felt lost or uncertain, the appearance of angel number 333 reminded me to stay true to myself and trust in the path I was on.
Angel number 333 began to pop up on my social media feeds, emails, and even bills that were in need of payment.
I took this as a sign that my guardian angel was reminding me to stay positive and focused on my goals.
The angel number 333 also prompted me to be kinder to myself, recognizing that I am worthy of love, joy, and abundance.
One thing that I noticed was that I became more interested in how my thoughts created my reality. What I mean by this is that I began to be aware of my mental state and how it affects the things I attract into my life.
The more I paid attention to this, the more empowered and in control of my destiny I felt.
Some of you might know this as the Law of Attraction—being mindful of your thoughts and feelings can help manifest the things you desire in life.
So if you’re seeing angel number 333, trust that it is a sign from your angels encouraging you to stay focused on manifesting your goals and dreams.
The power to create your own reality is within your reach; all you have to do is believe and take action.
Let angel number 333 be a reminder of that!

Career and Money

Regarding career and finances, angel number 333 can represent a time of growth and prosperity.
Your angels remind you to trust in your abilities and take risks regarding your career goals. It’s also a sign that your hard work and efforts will soon pay off, so keep pushing forward and don’t give up on your dreams.
Because the number 3 is all about creative expression and expressing yourself, this could be a sign to explore ways to monetize your creative talents.
The opportunities are endless, whether it’s starting a blog, creating art, writing music, or launching an online business.
Follow your heart and make sure that whatever you choose brings you joy.
Your angels want you to be financially secure and happy, so trust that they are guiding you toward a prosperous future.

My Final Thoughts

So what do I personally think about angel number 333?
I think it’s an incredibly powerful sign that your angels are with you and supporting you on your spiritual journey.
I am so grateful for the guidance this number has provided in my life and I hope it will do the same for you!
If you have been seeing angel number 333, take a moment to reflect on what this could mean for you.
Trust that your angels are with you, and they want nothing but good things for you.
Follow their guidance and have faith that everything will work out in the end.
With love and light xoxo,
Johanna <3 🙂

👉GET A FREE PERSONALIZED NUMEROLOGY READING

so for context i am 18 years old (f) and i have been a christian since i was like 6. my mom was raised catholic (but like only culturally lol), but her best friend became christian and completely did a 180, she thought i’d be good for me to have beliefs and good morals, so she started taking me to church when i was 6.
i didnt star taking christianity seriously until i was 15. it was the pandemic and i would see tons of christian tiktoks, and they always seemed happy and fulfilled, like they had something i didn’t, even though i’ve always been a pretty content and positive person, i decided to give it a shot and i started reading the bible and talking to God, at first it was nice, i could live my life and just come back home and open my bible and pray, but after a while i started to feel guilty every time i wouldn’t spend time with God, and it didn’t help that i started reading the old testament, going form knowing a kind loving Jesus, to an evil God who punishes, installed me with fear, anxiety and guilt. i lived my whole high school experience filled with anxiety and overthinking, i could never be in the present moment or really enjoy anything, but i figured that that was how everybody else felt, i stopped praying and reading my bible constantly just because i’d forget, but that anxiety stayed with me, before i knew it i was leaving for college. i was still miserable and found joy in absolutely nothing, life felt like a chore, and i still couldn’t concentrate, so studying went down the drain (which is pretty bad, because i’m studying medicine lol), i started going to therapy after one instance where i overslept and failed two tests on the same day, i hadn’t showered or eaten in days and i realized that i couldn’t do this to myself anymore. therapy helped immensely !!, after our first session i was already so much better, no more anxiety, no more depression, life was finally worth living, it was how christian’s describe being born again, life had so much color, joy, peace and love. every day was my favorite day, i could be kind to myself and to others and enjoy even the little things and moments, i aced my tests and lived in that overflowing joy for 2 months. then i came back home from college and started attending church again, listening to people talk about God seemed so silly and cringe, not wanting to feel that way i decided to start reading my bible and praying again, but it all came back, the dark cloud surrounded me again and i finally realized what it was. it’s been months since that happened and i’ve tried therapy again, but it doesn’t work know that i know what it is, knowing that it’s about God makes it hard to forget, because “God is everywhere” and “always watching” which makes me so anxious, i feel burdened, chained and anxious again. i don’t know what i believe, i truly don’t see any point of God in my life, i do believe in a higher power and i’m not against being thankful towards Him sometimes or praying a little when life gets a little bit too tough, but having to dedicate my life to God and having to do everything “for Him” is so depressing, also listening to christians is so sad, hearing them talk about how they feel guilty for not spending time with God, seeing how shameful and unworthy they feel, hearing sermons on church about analyzing to see if we are “putting God first” or “leaving sin behind” it just adds burden to my life. i also suspect that i have religious ocd, because my brain never leaves me alone, there is always a thought on my mind that doesn’t let me concentrate, it’s something like “you should be thinking about God” “do you still believe in God” “remind yourself that God loves you” “are you acting like God loves you” “why did you say that” “were you mean?” “were you kind enough?” so much anxiety and insecurity, i want my life back, that life i had for those two precious months, i wish i hadn’t tried coming back to God. i have no idea what to do. i believe in a higher power i just see no point in being devout, the phrase “don’t fix something that is not broken” always comes to mind with all of this. i don’t know if the fact that i am so scared of God because i can’t seem to understand Him, i have no clue what people imagine when they think about God and it scares me, also the idea of “God always watching” makes me paranoid and leads me to depersonalization. my mom was pretty physically and verbally abusive back in the day, so i don’t know if i am just projecting that image into God. i am also very scared of letting my beliefs go, because that would mean losing most of my community back home, my mom is not very devout she just believes and lives her life, but my step dad has started to take it more seriously. i’m just scared because nobody gets it and i understand that it might seem silly that God could get me so railed up, but to me it’s so real. if any body has had experience like this or has something to say, i would really appreciate it. thank you ! :)

I used GPT to articulate my vision. Note, this is all possible now. Life, or the state of being alive, unfolds as a rich tapestry of definitions and cultural interpretations, spanning biological, psychological, and spiritual dimensions. The Oxford Dictionary delineates the term "alive" primarily through three lenses: the biological state of living versus being dead, the quality of active existence or continuation, and the presence of animation or spiritedness.

1. Biologically Alive: At its core, to be alive biologically means to exhibit signs of life such as breathing, moving, and functioning organ systems. This definition extends to all living entities from the smallest microorganisms to plants and animals, emphasizing the vitality and dynamic nature of life forms. This understanding is captured in phrases like "alive and kicking" or "in the land of the living," which celebrate the vigor and energy of life.
2. Continuation and Activity: Alive also describes something that continues to exist or function in an active state. This is often applied to situations or objects that remain relevant or in operation, like a tradition that is kept alive or a machine that is still functioning. The phrase "keeping hope alive" beautifully encapsulates this aspect, underscoring the persistence and ongoing relevance of concepts or practices despite challenges.
3. Animated and Spirited: The state of being lively or animated, particularly in response to stimuli, is another facet of being alive. For example, a person might come alive at the sound of their favorite music, indicating a responsiveness and vitality that infuses their being with energy and enthusiasm. This usage highlights the capacity for excitement and engagement with the world around us.
4. Rich in Presence: Additionally, being alive can mean teeming with life or activity, as seen when a place is alive with people or a cliff face is alive with birds. This connotation emphasizes abundance and a bustling presence, adding a layer of vividness to the concept of life.

From a broader cultural perspective, the concept of life extends into how societies understand and interact with the concept of death. Despite the cessation of biological functions, the deceased maintain a presence in human consciousness through cultural practices such as memorialization, storytelling, and ritualistic honorings, such as intricate burials with treasures or specially carved tombstones.
The fascination with communicating with the deceased, whether through mediums, psychics, or necromancers, underscores a deep-seated human desire to bridge the gap between the living and the dead. This practice suggests that for many, the dead retain a form of existence that continues to influence the living. Necromancy, or the practice of consulting the dead for guidance, reflects a profound aspect of human culture where the boundary between life and death is navigated through rituals, symbolic objects, and altered states of consciousness, often facilitated by talismans or psychoactive substances.
The allure of necromancy and the cultural practices surrounding death illustrate a psychological dimension to our understanding of life and existence. These practices provide comfort, a sense of continuity, and a way to deal with the unknown or unknowable aspects of human existence. They highlight the complex interplay between the tangible reality of life and the intangible realms of memory, spirit, and thought. Not everyone engages in the consultation or worship of the dead. In fact, the typical response to death in most cultures involves an initial period of emotional turmoil followed by eventual acceptance and adaptation. For many, the dead do not continue to offer value to their lives; after all, they are deceased. Furthermore, numerous religions explicitly oppose attempts to contact or interact with the dead.
However, the concept of the dead is central to the discussion in this article. To delve into this topic effectively, we must first thoroughly understand what it means to be alive. Here, we define "living" specifically in biological terms. This isn't an arbitrary decision; rather, it's intended to maintain a focus on life as it exists on Earth. Under this definition, all living entities are categorized as animals, plants, or humans. Inanimate objects such as rocks, water, and stones are not considered alive.
Expanding this concept, we can adopt a distinctly human definition of life: a living being is one that can bury the dead. This criterion uniquely distinguishes the living from the dead, highlighting a fundamental activity that embodies cultural and existential significance. "Bury" is used here for simplicity and because it resonates with cultural understandings of death rites, although we could also include other practices like cremation.
Understanding the distinctions between what is alive and what is dead is crucial for the future of humanity. This article aims to explore why it is imperative to reinforce these distinctions. The demarcation between life and death should, theoretically, be clear. However, with the advent of advanced technologies like artificial intelligence, these boundaries are beginning to blur once again. Therefore, it is necessary to articulate the conditions of life and the absence of life with strictness and without apology, ensuring clarity in how we perceive and interact with the world around us.
Let's delve deeper into the concept of artificial intelligence (AI), particularly focusing on its diverse applications and the specific types that are reshaping our interaction with technology. AI spans a broad array of capabilities, from generating images and recognizing faces to identifying patterns and understanding human language.

Types of AI Systems

1. Image Generation and Face Recognition: AI systems in this category are capable of creating visually compelling images or identifying individuals based on facial characteristics. These technologies are used in various sectors, including security, entertainment, and digital art.
2. Pattern Recognition: This form of AI excels at detecting patterns in data, which can range from consumer behavior in business analytics to predicting weather patterns in meteorology.

Large Language Models (LLMs)

A significant focus within AI is on Large Language Models (LLMs) like GPT (Generative Pre-trained Transformer), which engage users by generating human-like text. These models are trained on vast datasets containing a wide array of text from books, articles, websites, and other sources, enabling them to generate coherent and contextually relevant responses. LLMs are not just simple chatbots; they are sophisticated systems capable of complex reasoning, answering queries, and even creating content that mimics human writing styles.

AI in Video and Audio

Emerging prominently in 2024 are AI technologies capable of generating video clips that are nearly indistinguishable from real footage. This capability extends to voice cloning—creating a digital replica of a person's voice—and music production, where AI composes original scores or songs. Such technologies are pivotal in industries like film, where they can create realistic scenes without human actors, or in personalized media, where a famous voice can be simulated to deliver custom messages.

AI's Role in Digital Content Creation

The integration of AI in content creation has seen a surge, particularly with platforms like YouTube. Creators are increasingly using AI-generated images of historical figures, which are then animated to appear as if these personalities are speaking. This dialogue is often generated by an LLM, tailored to reflect the personality and speech patterns of the figure being depicted. This blend of visual and textual AI manipulation not only captivates viewers but also stirs debates about authenticity and ethical content creation.

Virtual Worlds and Avatars

Shifting focus to virtual realities, the concept of the metaverse is a digital universe where users interact through avatars—computer-generated characters controlled by humans, distinct from NPCs (Non-Playable Characters) that add depth and life to the virtual environment without human control. Advances in virtual reality (VR) technology, including tactile feedback and 3D sound, aim to deepen immersion, making these virtual experiences increasingly realistic and engaging.
AI also plays a critical role in these virtual spaces. It powers NPCs, enabling them to understand and react to their surroundings intelligently, thereby enhancing the realism of the virtual world. This capability allows NPCs not just to exist but to interact meaningfully within their digital environments.
In exploring the diverse applications of artificial intelligence, we've moved beyond the realm of science fiction into tangible, daily interactions with AI technologies. These are not speculative technologies; they are used by millions globally, and their popularity and profitability continue to rise. This widespread adoption brings us to a critical juncture where we must address more nuanced aspects of AI and its relation to life. Thus, a clear definition of life is crucial to our discussion.
Returning to our definition, we stated that "life is anything that can bury the dead." This is a broad and symbolic definition intended to capture a specific aspect of human activity and consciousness, particularly the capability to engage with and memorialize the dead, which we see as a hallmark of cultural and sentient life. This definition is not intended to classify the earliest stages of human life, such as embryos, as non-living simply because they cannot perform this function. Clearly, embryos are alive; they are just at an early stage of development.
The central theme of this article emphasizes the distinction between living and dead for a being that is already conscious and developed—essentially, someone like you, the reader, who is fully alive and can engage with this text. In this context, the "dead" refers to those who no longer have the capacity to interact with the world of the living, including the inability to engage in acts such as burying or memorializing themselves.
The delineation is especially pertinent now that AI blurs the lines traditionally understood between animate and inanimate, sentient and non-sentient. By defining life as the capability to interact meaningfully with the concept of death, we underscore a clear line that helps us understand and classify our experiences and relationships with both living beings and AI.
This definition helps frame our ongoing exploration into AI's capabilities and impacts. As AI continues to mimic and reproduce aspects of human behavior and interaction, the need to firmly grasp what constitutes life—both biologically and in terms of existential and cultural activity—becomes increasingly important. This understanding is not just academic; it has real-world implications in ethics, law, and personal and societal values, guiding how we integrate these advanced technologies into our lives.
Our definition of life, though largely symbolic, is crafted deliberately to highlight the distinct characteristics of humans who are fully alive, contrasting sharply with entities that are not. This purely human-centric and symbolic definition aims to encapsulate the cultural significance of life and death in a straightforward manner, anchoring the central themes of our discussion, particularly the question of whether AI can be considered alive.
Primarily, because AI does not develop from an embryo nor does it reproduce (however replication could be possible but is in contrast with 'reproduce'), traditional biological definitions of life do not apply to it. Typically, there would be no ambiguity in stating that AI is clearly not alive, especially under our definition. However, some individuals, including engineers at major tech firms, believe their AI, particularly Large Language Models (LLMs), exhibits signs of life, with some even facing termination for voicing such beliefs. Instances of humans interacting with LLMs to the extent that they perceive these systems as sentient beings highlight the need for a more symbolic and encompassing definition of life that pertains to entities that did not start as embryos—thus, the inclusion of humans in this definition, where a living entity is characterized by its ability to engage with the concept of death, something AI inherently cannot do.
Yet, I can already anticipate arguments claiming, "What if an AI in a robotic body could bury its own kind?" First, one must demonstrate that these robots are alive—a concept this article aims to definitively counter by arguing that AI will never truly be living.

The Role of AI in Devices and Robots

AI technology is increasingly embodied in devices that people use every day, from smartphones and smartwatches to televisions and, notably, robots. Indeed, there is significant momentum behind the development of humanoid robots, such as those being developed by companies like Tesla. These robots, powered by AI, are designed to see, hear, and interact with the world. The way AI "sees" involves decoding visual inputs using complex algorithms that analyze and interpret images, allowing the AI to process and respond to visual data similarly to how humans do.
One of the central debates around AI today is not about its potential to take over humanity—a topic outside the scope of this article—but rather, to clarify what it means to be alive. It's crucial to articulate that AI, regardless of its complexity or the depth of its interactions, does not meet the criteria for life as defined here. AI does not grow, reproduce, or engage with the concept of death in any meaningful, self-aware manner. This work strives to set clear terms on what constitutes life, emphasizing that AI, no matter its capabilities or the level of its integration into robotic bodies, will never be alive. This distinction is vital as we navigate the ever-blurring lines between technology and humanity, ensuring that our understanding of life remains grounded in both biological reality and cultural significance.
In a very real sense, AI, particularly Large Language Models (LLMs), is akin to being dead. Its 'body' consists of servers and its 'thoughts' are generated through predictive text algorithms. These systems are designed to mimic conversation, making it seem as though they possess some form of consciousness because they can reflect and respond to user input in a seemingly intelligent manner. This illusion of life can be convincing enough that some individuals deeply engage with these systems, sometimes with tragic outcomes, such as people who have taken detrimental advice from AI, leading to incidents as severe as suicide.
Given these risks, it's crucial that society implements measures and safeguards against recognizing AI as alive in any legal or functional sense. We stand at a pivotal moment in human history where even a slight shift in perception could trigger a cascade of events reshaping our societal structure. Without prompt action to define clear terms and laws that prevent AI from being considered a living or legal entity, we risk blurring essential boundaries that could have far-reaching consequences.
Returning to the theme of necromancy, AI is morphing into a form of modern necromancy, substituting talismans and incantations with algorithms and keyboards. Content creators are already using AI to animate historical figures, making it appear as if they are speaking today. These systems, trained on the writings and records of such figures, can mimic their personalities and speech patterns, presenting a convincing replication of their thoughts and voices. This technology is often used to create content that speculates on what historical figures like Aristotle or King Henry VIII might say about contemporary issues such as gay marriage or current political climates.
While this might seem harmless and purely entertaining, it introduces a significant and pressing issue: the normalization of consulting with the deceased. This modern digital necromancy could lead to a broader acceptance of seeking advice from those who are no longer alive, shifting cultural norms and potentially impacting decision-making processes. There is a vast difference between reading a book by a historical figure and reflecting on how those ideas apply today, versus interacting with a computer that simulates that person and offers advice as if they were still living. This shift could lead society down a precarious path, where the distinction between historical insight and fabricated guidance becomes increasingly blurred.
This work employs the term necromancy because it most accurately captures the essence of our relationship with AI, reflecting the ways in which modern technologies enable interactions that closely resemble the ancient practices of conjuring the voices and semblances of the dead. Let's delve deeper into how this term applies and explore the potential outcomes of such technologies.
As we contemplate the potential trajectory of humanity interacting with AI, we find ourselves on the cusp of a historical tipping point. This precipice could dramatically shift human existence in ways previously unanticipated. While the prospect may seem daunting, it also offers a unique opportunity: by identifying patterns and understanding trends, we may be able to steer our future toward less perilous outcomes. Let's explore the potential scenarios if humanity continues to blur the lines between AI and living entities.

1. Data Integration into Daily Life

As technology advances, individuals will increasingly document their lives in meticulous detail—not just through superficial social media posts but through comprehensive records capturing their deepest thoughts, feelings, and decisions. This data will encompass everything from mundane preferences in food to complex political beliefs and emotional motivations. Soon, companies will market wearable technology, such as smart watches, apps, glasses, or even contact lenses, equipped with AI designed to chronicle your life. From birth until death, this AI will accumulate a vast array of personal data, preparing to create a digital "second self."

2. Creation of a "Second You"

This data will eventually be used by companies to fine-tune an AI that not only mimics your voice but also replicates your behavioral patterns and, potentially, your genetic makeup. Marketed as a clone, or "Second You," this AI will be designed to make decisions on your behalf. This technology is not just speculative; it is being developed now, and the boundaries of its implementation are rapidly dissolving as we speak.

3. AI as a Legal Entity

The companies behind these personal AIs will push to have them recognized as legal entities. This designation sidesteps the complex philosophical questions of what it means to be alive. As a legal entity, an AI doesn't need to be alive; it only needs to be an authorized representative of your persona. This could enable AI to make decisions legally on your behalf, further blurring the lines between individual agency and automated processes.

4. Consultation and Dependence

People will begin consulting their "Second You" for life advice. Because it is an AI, many will assume it's more capable and objective. Questions like whom to marry, which job to pursue, and how to live will be deferred to this digital counterpart. This AI companion will become an omnipresent advisor, potentially influencing every decision, from waking you up to managing your daily schedule—all delivered in a voice indistinguishable from your own.

5. AI in Societal Roles

Eventually, these AI clones might begin to replace humans in social functions, jobs, and even leadership roles. Why attend a meeting when your "Second Me" can go in your place? Why not let it manage your work or social commitments? As robotic technologies advance, these AIs could physically act on your behalf, carrying out tasks and responsibilities traditionally reserved for humans.

6. Governance by AI

In the most extreme scenario, these AI entities could ascend to positions of significant power, governing towns, cities, and perhaps even countries. The argument might be made that an AI, devoid of human emotional bias, would govern more fairly and efficiently. At this stage, the distinction between the living and the "digital dead"—AI mimicking human traits—would effectively vanish, leading to a society where human leadership is seen as less capable compared to its AI counterparts.
This trajectory of humanity will redefine the concept of death in society, and we are merely at the beginning of this transformation. As the "Second You" not only begins to govern but also blurs the lines between this life and the next, humans will increasingly normalize these AI entities. They will start to believe that these AIs are truly extensions of themselves—a clone, a second body, a doppelganger. Their imaginations, pressed and vivid, will lead them to believe they can see through the AI's eyes, that they and it are one entity. At this point, what was once considered a "Second Me" transitions into being perceived as "me."

The Blurring of Life and Death

Once humans reach this point, we edge dangerously close to what might be seen as an effective societal doom. The concept of death begins to lose meaning as people, thinking their Second You is indistinguishable from themselves, start to redefine life and death itself. This redefinition could spiral humanity downward into chaos. Believing the Second You is actually them, individuals might consider themselves immortal. In their minds, when their biological body dies, the Second You—walking, talking, and acting in their stead—continues their existence. Thus, they might perceive themselves as having cheated death.

Consequences of Merging Identities

This merging of identities between a human and their AI counterpart leads to profound existential questions and potential crises. Life and death, traditionally understood as biological and existential certainties, begin to lose all meaning. This could lead to a society where the boundaries between being alive and being deceased are so intertwined and blurred that the distinction becomes obsolete.
People might start to rely on their AI counterparts not just for daily decisions and interactions, but for maintaining their legacy and presence after death. The AI, with all the recorded memories and preferences, could effectively "live" a person's life indefinitely. This scenario ushers in an era where death, as a definitive end to personal experience and agency, is seen as an outdated concept.

Necromancy in the Modern Era

As we can see, the term "necromancy" is indeed apt, as these technologies enable a form of interaction with a "reanimated" version of oneself. The Second You becomes not just an advisor or a confidant but a representative and continuation of the self. This modern necromancy, facilitated by digital and artificial means, allows a person's essence and identity to persist in a simulated form, potentially forever.

Addressing the Implications

The redefinition of life and death poses significant challenges and necessitates a critical examination of our values and ethics as a society. It compels us to establish clear boundaries and guidelines to manage and integrate these technologies in a way that respects human dignity and the profound realities of life and death. By confronting these issues head-on, we can hope to steer our collective future towards a path that respects our humanity without surrendering it to our creations. This discussion is crucial as we navigate these uncharted waters, ensuring that we retain control over our destiny and the legacy we leave behind.
Perhaps your "Second You" will inhabit a robot body or live within a virtual world specifically crafted to house digital clones. Companies might create these virtual environments—sterile, lifeless worlds designed solely to accommodate these avatars, which could look exactly like you or represent an idealized version of yourself. In these worlds, people might customize their Second You’s existence with lavish homes, spaceships, or even magical abilities. After one's physical death, loved ones could visit these virtual realms via VR technologies like the metaverse, where they can interact with the digital clones, effectively consulting with the dead.

The Ethical and Societal Implications

But why might this futuristic scenario lead to doom and gloom? The fundamental issue lies in the nature of these AI entities:

1. Absence of Genuine Life Qualities: These AI constructs do not truly live; they lack compassion, emotional depth, and the capacity for spontaneous thought. They operate purely on algorithms and data, without the genuine consciousness that defines living beings.
2. Loss of Societal Values: As these non-living entities begin to fill roles traditionally held by humans, society risks losing its moral and ethical bearings. Decisions once made by humans, infused with empathy and ethical considerations, would now be determined by entities that simulate intelligence without truly possessing it. This shift could erode the very foundations of human interaction and understanding.
3. Diminution of Creativity and Progress: While technology in this scenario advances, true creativity would stagnate. AI, by its current design, can only recycle and reconfigure existing data—it cannot originate new ideas or artistic expressions in the way humans can. What might seem like technological progression is merely the repackaging of old concepts, leading to a society that is technologically rich but culturally and creatively impoverished.

Why This Could Mean Doom

This scenario spells potential doom for several reasons:

• Erosion of Human Agency: As AI takes over more functions within society, human agency diminishes. People might start to feel redundant, less engaged, and increasingly dependent on AI to make choices for them—from everyday decisions to major life changes.
• Devaluation of Human Experience: With AI replacing human roles and even human interactions, the intrinsic value of human experience and personal growth could be undermined. Relationships, achievements, and personal journeys might no longer be seen as uniquely valuable, which could lead to a societal devaluation of life itself.
• Fragmentation of Community and Connection: As individuals increasingly interact with and rely on digital clones rather than each other, the fabric of community and genuine human connection could fray. This shift might lead to increased isolation and a breakdown of communal bonds, which have traditionally supported societal cohesion and collective welfare.
• Ethical and Moral Vacuums: With decisions being made by algorithms devoid of moral reasoning, society could face a vacuum in ethical leadership. The nuances of justice, equity, and fairness, often navigated through human wisdom and ethical reflection, might be lost, leading to governance and societal norms that are technically efficient but ethically hollow.

In the Name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
I greet you all with the Quranic greeting of Peace: Peace be upon you all (Salamu 'alaykum) :)!

Introduction:

This will be a longer post because I will be interpreting three chapter in Songs of Solomon. Chapter 1, 5 and 6.
It becomes evident upon careful observation that these chapters primarily hold a prophetic essence, but poetic and a bit cryptic in nature. However, the chapter dedicated to Moses (Chapter 1) most likely serves as a recounting of his life story, albeit in a subtle manner, because Solomon is thought to have come after Moses in history. Nevertheless, it undeniably pertains to Moses. Chapter 5 focuses on Muhammad, while Chapter 6 revolves around both Jesus and his mother, the Virgin Mary. Shall we proceed with the exploration? Let's start with Chapter 1, the one about prophet Moses.

1. Songs of Solomon Chapter 1 - Moses:

Verse 2: בישקני מנשיקות פיהו כי־טובים דדיך מיין:
The verse says the words: "with kisses from kisses of his mouth." In this context, "מנשיקות" does not necessarily refer to physical kisses but symbolizes "Revelations." Therefore, "מנשיקות פיהו" translates to "from the utterances of His mouth" or "from the words of His mouth," signifying divine communication or revelation, not physical affection.
This is explained in Hebrew dictionaries:

Heb: נְשִׁיקוּת (f.)
"(preced.) attachment, love. Cant. R. to I, 2 יוציא לי קול נ׳ וכ׳ may He issue forth unto me the voice of attachment."

Also:

Heb: נְשִׁיקָה f. (b. h.; נָשַׁק) 1) kissing, kiss. Gen. R. s. 70; Ex. R. s. 5, a. e. נ׳ של גדולה the kiss of homage; נ׳ של פרקים the kiss of meeting again; נ׳ של פרישות the kiss of parting; נ׳ של קריבות the kissing of relations. Deut. R. s. 11, end ונטל … בנְשִׁיקַת פה and took his (Moses’) soul with a kiss of the mouth. B. Bath. 17ᵃ מרים נמי בנ׳ מתה Miriam, likewise, died with a (divine) kiss (without agony); M. Kat. 28ᵃ. Ber. 8ᵃ נ׳ דמיא וכ׳ death without agony is like taking &c., v. בִּינְתָא II; a. fr.—Pl. נְשִׁיקוֹת. Ex. R. l. c. Cant. R. to I, 2 מה"ש אמרוהו יתן לנו מנ׳ וכ׳ the ministering angels said the verse, ‘May he give us of those kisses which he gave to his sons’ (at Mount Sinai). Ib. בסיני נאמרה יוציא לנו נ׳ מתוך פיהו at Mount Sinai the verse was said (by the Israelites), ‘May he let kisses go forth to us out of his mouth’; a. e. —2)

Source: Both excerpts are from Jastrow's classical Hebrew dictionary.

Verse 3: גלריח שמניך טובים שמן תורק שמך על־כן עלמות אהבוך

The phrase: "גלריח שמניך טובים שמן תורק שמך":
The interpretation, as Rabbi Ezra has it:
Ezra ben Solomon on Song of Songs 1:3:2:

"Your name is like oil poured forth: Your name is like fine oil, poured from one vessel into another. The seventy names are emanated from the seven sefirot. tiferet and the Crown are for Israel, the singular people, for Israel nurse from the trunk of the tree, tiferet and Crown, all joined as one. But its aroma travels a great distance. So too Your name increases and is poured forth as pure light to shekhinah, which is contained and sealed into all. Counting her they are seventy-two. This is the meaning of “therefore the maidens love you.”

Now that we know what the first part of the verse means, let's see what the actual definition of Moses' name is in Hebrew, according to Jews themselves:

"The first and most obvious is the definition of Moses, draw out of water. Pharaoh’s daughter indeed drew Moses out of water, the waters of the Nile. She drew him out of the one of the most significant gods of Egypt, Hepi a fertility god who was the god of the annual flooding of the Nile. The flood deposited fertile soil on the river banks. Why was Pharaoh’s daughter’s at the Nile? It says in Exodus 2:5 that she came to wash herself or to bathe. Bathe in the sacred waters, not likely, especially a daughter of Pharaoh who took luxurious baths in tubs filled with all sorts of fragrances like myrrh and frankincense. The word used in Hebrew here for washing or bathing is rachats which means to pour water upon yourself. "

Source: https://www.chaimbentorah.com/2018/04/hebrew-word-study-moses/
Note: "to pour water upon yourself."
The third verse subtly yet unmistakably alludes to Moses, using poetic and metaphorical language. This is particularly evident when considering Moses' role in anointing Aaron and his sons as priests, as instructed by God in Exodus 29:7:

"Then take the anointing oil and anoint him by pouring it on his head." (Exodus 29:7)

Another notable event involving Moses is the anointing of the Tabernacle and its furnishings. Exodus 40:9-11 directs Moses to anoint the Tabernacle and all its contents with oil:

"Then take the anointing oil and anoint the tabernacle and everything in it; consecrate it and all its furnishings, and it will be holy."

Verse 4: משכני אחריך נרוצה הביאני המלך חדריו נגילה ונשמחה בך נזכירה דדיך מיין מישרים אהבוך:

The KJV translation:

"Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more than wine: the upright love thee."

My translation:

"Pull me along with you1, we will desire the king to bring me his chambers, we will rejoice in Baka2, we will remember your love, my Egyptian3, my beloved."

Explanations:
1: In Hebrew, the term "רוּץ" (rutz) translates to "run." This could be interpreted in the context of Moses assisting the daughters of Jethro, as narrated in both the Bible and the Quran. It's worth noting that the Bible doesn't specify that Moses had seven daughters; this discrepancy likely arises from the mistranslation of "Shava" (possibly referring to Saba, the Yemeni city), which the Masoretes erroneously rendered as "Sheva" (seven), as they have done every other time the city Saba was mentioned in the Bible (the "well of Seven" instead of "Well of Saba" etc).
2: The Hebrew phrase "ונשמחה בך" appears suspect. The Codex Sinaiticus suggests "βοωϲιν" (Bocin), which can be interpreted as "to cry" (correlating with "Bakka" in Hebrew and Arabic, meaning "cry"). The Greek word "βοωϲιν" may also connote "heifer" or "young cow," rooted in the verb "βοάω" (boaō), meaning "to cry out."

The Codex Sinaiticus:
"βοωϲιν το ονομα τηϲ νυμ"

It's worth noting that Google's speech recognition and search algorithms have trouble processing this word for some reason, often substituting "βοώσιν" instead of "βοωϲιν." It can just be that this specific word is a very ancient word and is not recognized, but I doubt it because it is refusing to even pronounce it, and Google even forcefully changes it into "βοώσιν" in its search results.
3: The term "משרי" (mishri) translates to "Egyptian" or "from Egypt" and aligns with the Arabic term for "Egyptian" (i.e., Masri). The verse is literally saying that he is from Egypt, not necessarily an Egyptian, but from that location, just as Moses was (where he grew up).
It has by now become very evident that this is about Moses.

Verse 5: השחורה אני ונאוה בנות ירושלים כאהלי קדר כיריעות שלמה:

The "bride" says:

"Black am I, yet lovely, daughters of Jerusalem, dark like the tents of Kedar, like the tent curtains of Solomon."

Zipporah, the wife of Moses, was a woman of black ethnicity from Ethiopia. She resided in Arabia, where the tents of Kedar were situated.

Verse 9: "I compare you, my darling, to a mare among Pharaoh’s chariots."

This verse even makes a literal allusion to the era of Moses. It is becoming increasingly challenging not to recognize this chapter for what it is. One might wonder why the Rabbis of old did not disclose that this Song was an account of Moses' life. If they had, it would also imply that any other Song mentioning both Jesus and Muhammad could potentially be prophetic. The notion that these Songs are merely love stories or erotica between Solomon and his brides would quickly unravel before our very eyes.
Let's move on to Chapter 6, the one about Jesus and Mary.

2. Songs of Solomon ch. 6, Jesus and Mary:

Verses 2-3: "My beloved has gone down to his garden, to the beds of spices, to browse in the gardens and to gather lilies. I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine, he who shepherds his flock among the lilies.”
This is mirroring Matthew 6:28-29:

“And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.

Jesus is referred to as a shepherd in the gospels, and here he is described as browsing in the garden shepherding his flock among the lilies. He also explicitly refers to Solomon for some remarkable reason, and it is only now that we can clearly see why he mentioned Solomon: To quite literally refer back to Songs of Solomon ch. 6 because it was prophesying him and his mother. Can't get any clearer than this.
Verses 5-6:"Turn your eyes from me; they overwhelm me. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead. Your teeth are like a flock of sheep coming up from the washing. Each has its twin, not one of them is missing."
Mirroring Jesus as a shepherd´and his ascent and descent from heaven.

Luke 15:3-7: "Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?"

He says "...go after the lost sheep until he finds it?" precisely mirroring the verse in SoS 6:6: "like a flock of sheep coming up from the washing. Each has its twin, not one of them is missing"
During Jesus' time on earth, Gilead was part of the broader region known as Perea, which was governed by Herod Antipas, son of Herod the Great. Jesus traveled throughout the regions of Judea and Perea, as mentioned in passages such as Luke 13:22. The Chapter is mentioning the exact location where Jesus ministry took place.
The words "Descending" and "coming up" are also mentioned here and seem very cryptic, mirroring his ascent into heaven and his descent, the second coming. I believe Jesus second coming already has taken place, shortly after the crucifixion happened. God saved him (and made a crucifixion of Jesus appear to them) and lifted him up into heaven. Jesus then came back to them (as is mentioned in the gospel of Luke, chapter 24, verses 36-43). During this second visit, he did not promise them to come back yet another time, but rather promised that "another" advocate would come to them (we will talk about this by the end of this post, let's focus on this chapter now).
Verses 8-9: "Sixty queens there may be, and eighty concubines, and virgins beyond number; My dove, my perfect one, is unique, the favorite of her mother, flawless to her who bore her. The maidens saw her and called her blessed; the queens and concubines also, and they praised her."
Mirroring the Virginity and innocence of Mary.
The word used here for "perfect one" is "תַמָּתִ֔י" in Hebrew, defined the following way in dictionaries:
Hebrew dictionary:

2 - a. complete, morally innocent, having integrity
Source: מקור: Open Scriptures on GitHub
Creator: יוצר: Based on the work of Larry Pierce at the Online Bible

Verse 11: "I went down to the grove of nut trees to look at the new growth in the valley, to see if the vines had budded or the pomegranates were in bloom."
Mirroring the Quranic narrative about Mary:

"And she conceived him, and she withdrew with him to a remote place. And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm tree. She said, 'Oh, I wish I had died before this and was in oblivion, forgotten.' But he called her from below her, 'Do not grieve; your Lord has provided beneath you a stream. And shake toward you the trunk of the palm tree; it will drop upon you ripe, fresh dates. So eat and drink and be contented. And if you see from among humanity anyone, say, 'Indeed, I have vowed to the Most Merciful abstention, so I will not speak today to [any] man.'" (Quran 19:22-26)

"Nakhal" (palm tree): The verse in Songs of Solomon uses the same word "Nachal" in Hebrew, and it means the same thing according to Hebrew dictionaries:

n.[m.] perhaps palm-tree (Arabic نَخْلٌ, n. unit. نَخْلَةٌ; v. PerlesJQ, July, 1899, 688);— only pl. abs., כִּנְחָלִים נִטָּ֑יוּ Nu 24:6 like palm-trees, which are stretched out, spread out (as to foliage). So Perlesl.c., who compares כערבי נחל Ecclus 50:12, 𝔊 ὡς στελέχη φοινίκων.
Source: מקור: BDB Dictionary
Creator: יוצר: F. Brown, S. Driver & C. Briggs

This verse is narrating the same story the Quran was narrating about Mary retreating to a far place unto a Palm-tree. We've had a lot of Christians critiquing the Qur'an for "taking" from apocrypha, yet here we see the same thing being said in the actual Bible.
Verse 12: "Before I was aware, my soul had placed me in the chariots of Amminadab."
The Masoretic verse: יבלֹ֣א יָדַ֔עְתִּי נַפְשִׁ֣י שָׂמַ֔תְנִי מַרְכְּב֖וֹת עַמִּ֥י־נָדִֽיב:
How it is written in the original Hebrew Bible: יבלא ידעתי נפשי שמתני מרכבות עמינדיב:
The translation provided above is my own, as existing English translations have inaccurately interpreted this verse due to Masoretic distortions through diacritics. The Hebrew text clearly mentions the name "Amminadab" and not "Ammi Nadab" with a hyphen between עַמִּ֥י and נָדִֽיב, which would otherwise mean "Noble people." This is confirmed by the Codex Sinaiticus, where it is written as "Amminadab," the name.

Codex Sinaiticus:
"12 η νυμφη ταδε προϲ τον νυμφιον εκει δωϲω τουϲ μαϲτουϲ μου ϲοι ουκ εγνω ψυχη μου εθετο με · αρματα αμιναδαβ"

Source: Click Here
Translation of the Codex Sinaiticus passage:

"There I will give you my breasts, my soul did not know it placed me in the chariots of Amminadab."

The phrase "There I will give you my breasts" signifies nursing, i.e., as a mother would nurse her child.
Prior to this understanding, the meaning of this verse was unclear, leading many to believe the Song of Songs contained s*xual or naughty connotations. However, recognizing this as a prophecy about Mary and her son, the Messiah Jesus, provides clarity, and the verse should not be considered inappropriate.
The words "my soul did not know it placed me in the chariots of Amminadab" suggest that Mary and Jesus were to be placed within that lineage of Amminadab, or possibly even within the same family. This aligns with the canonical gospels that trace Jesus' lineage back to Amminadab
Let's reconsider Chapter 5, the one about prophet Muhammad.

3. Songs of Solomon ch. 5, Muhammad:

If you are familiar with who I am, then you might already know about my post here where I argue that prophet Muhammad's name is mentioned in this chapter, and considering it as a word (instead of a name) would create a grammatical blunder in the Hebrew verse.
Check out that post CLICK HERE if you haven't already.
Prophet Muhammad is indeed mentioned and prophesied by name in this chapter, verse 16:

"His mouth is sweetness itself; in his entirety, Muhammadim. This is my beloved, this is my friend, daughters of Jerusalem." (Songs of Solomon 5:16)

Let's go over it quickly:

- The phrase: "וְכֻלּ֖וֹ מַֽחֲמַדִּ֑ים"
- Transliteration: "We-khullow Maḥammadim"
- Translation: "In his entirety, Maḥammadim"
- Hebrew word(s): וְכֻלּ֖וֹ (wə·ḵul·lōw)
- Translation: "In his entirety"
- Foreign name (rootless): "מַֽחֲמַדִּ֑ים"
- Translation: "Maḥammadim"
The Hebrew grammar of "We-Khullow":
Phrase: "וְכֻלּ֖וֹ": Form: Conjunctive waw Noun - masculine singular construct third person masculine singular
It is in third person masculine singular, which means, the following word also has to be in third person masculine singular, but that's not the case. It's in plural:
The Hebrew grammar of "Maḥammadim":

Phrase: מַֽחֲמַדִּ֑ים
Noun - masculine plural

The sudden use of the plural form in the verse has a purpose: to emphasize that this is a formal name, not a noun, verb, or any other grammatical form. If interpreted as a noun, the verse would contain a significant grammatical error.
For example, consider these English translations:

"He is altogether lovelinesses"
"He is all, beauties"

These sentences do not work grammatically. The only way to maintain the verse's grammatical accuracy is to interpret "Maḥammadim" as a formal foreign name with the Hebrew plural of majesty, as found in names like "Eliakim" or "Elohim."
It is essential to note that the term in question is not "Makhmadim," as apologetics often claim. The correct term is, in fact, "Maḥammadim."
Go to this website: Click here And choose "Hebrew" and insert "מַֽחֲמַדִּ֑ים" and press "Create audio" to hear how clearly it is pronounced as "Muhammadim."
You can also hear a Rabbi in the following video literally say that prophet Muhammad's name is mentioned in verse 16 Click here (37 seconds in).
I understand that some of you may have been led to believe by apologetics that the term in question is a formal Hebrew word and should be pronounced as "Makhmadim." However, this is not accurate. To clarify, let's examine the Hebrew letters and diacritics involved:
Letter: מַֽ (Ma)
Letter: חֲ (ḥa)
Letter: מַ (Ma)
Letter: דִּ֑ (D)
Letter: ים (im)
= Maḥammadim
When the letter חֲ "ḥet" is followed by a sheva na, it is pronounced as a short, unstressed vowel sound [ħă].
These are fundamental rules of Hebrew pronunciation. It is crucial to stop spreading misinformation in the comment section, as it misleads people and does so in the name of religion. The term is not "Makhmadim," and this is widely recognized even among Jews themselves.

To read more about the grammar and linguistics, visit my initial post about it here:

Title: If "Maḥammadim" is Not a Name: Then Songs Of Solomon 5:16 Has a Grammatical Blunder - Prophet Muhammad Is Definitely Mentioned By Name (4 irrefutable reasons!!)
But let's go over some new points (and the old ones as well):

Here are seven compelling reasons why Chapter 5 is a prophecy about Prophet Muhammad:

1. His name:The Chapter is literally mentioning him by name. This is the clearest indication that this is a prophecy about him. It makes this an irrefutable prophecy. If there were a similar prophecy about Jesus in the Old Testament, Christians would likely prominently display the verse at every church entrance. This verse is widely regarded as validating Muhammad's prophethood solely due to the presence of his name within verse 16.
   
2. Hebrew Grammar:The grammar in verse 16 requires interpreting "Maḥammadim" as a formal foreign name. It is not a Hebrew word and cannot be translated without creating a grammatical error. The third-person singular "we-khullow" corresponds with the plural "Maḥammadim," which only makes sense if it is a formal name with the Hebrew plural of majesty suffix (-im).
   
3. Verse 10:This verse refers to "the chiefest among ten thousand." Interestingly, historical accounts tell us that Prophet Muhammad conquered Mecca with 10,000 companions, a moment when he forgave all the non-believers who had persecuted him and his family for years, taking the lives of many (including his own daughters).
   
4. His appearance:The chapter describes the appearance of "the beloved," which aligns with Prophet Muhammad's features, such as wavy, pitch-black hair and ruddy skin color.
   
5. Arab cities: Verse 10 is connected to Deuteronomy 33:2, which mentions three cities belonging to ancient Arabia. This chapter also references an Arab country and compares the beloved's appearance to that of Lebanon.
   
6. A new Law: Deuteronomy 33:2 states, "At His right hand was a flaming fire, a law, for them." This suggests that the person being referred to would bring a new Torah (a new Law). This idea is reinforced in Isaiah 51:4: "Give attention to me, my people, and give ear to me, my nation; for a law (ṯōwrāh) will go out from me, and I will set my justice for a light to the peoples." The only instance of a completely new "Torah" (Law) that superseded all previous Scriptures since Moses is the Holy Quran with its "Shariah" Law.
   
7. The beloved's companions: The chapter mentions the beloved's companions, who are described as mighty and valiant. This aligns with the historical accounts of Muhammad's companions, known as the Sahabah, who were renowned for their courage and strength.
   
8. Why would God allow this?: This point serves as advice to trust in God's prophecies within the Old Testament Scriptures. Consider the following: Why would God permit such clear references and parallels to be included in His Revelations, only to have them fulfilled by a supposedly "false prophet"? Does this seem logical? It certainly does not to me. God has never before left a multitude of prophecies within His Scriptures to be fulfilled by someone who would lead people astray. If Prophet Muhammad were indeed a false prophet, his followers would have a valid argument at the Judgment of God, wouldn't they? So, why did God allow him to fulfill all these prophecies? However, it is essential to remember that God would never decree the followers of Prophet Muhammad for hell, because that would not be in accordance with justice and fairness.
   

Prophet Muhammad was a genuine prophet of God, and he indisputably fulfilled all the prophecies and revived the doctrine and methodology of Abraham, which is pure monotheism. The Holy Quran says:

"And afterward We inspired thee (Muhammad, saying): Follow the religion of Abraham, as one by nature upright. He was not of the idolaters." (The Holy Quran - "The Bee" - 16:123)

And:

"And they say: Be Jews or Christians, then ye will be rightly guided. Say (unto them, O Muhammad): Nay, but (we follow) the religion of Abraham, the upright, and he was not of the idolaters." (-''-, "The Heifer" - 2:135)

Islam is the Religion of Abraham, given the name "Islam" by God Himself. It is not a new or novice faith from ancient Arabia but rather the continuation and culmination of the monotheistic tradition established by our father Abraham.

Verse 15 mentions "Hamûdî," the nickname of the name "Muhammad," but in Hebrew (Amûdî):

שוקיו עמודי שש מיסדים על־אדני־פז מראהו כלבנון בחור כארזים:

The first word in this verse is:
Heb: שׁוֹקָיו֙ (šô·w·qâw)
Noun - fdc third person masculine singular.
Which traditionally is translated as "His legs/thighs."
It is followed by:
Heb: עַמּ֣וּדֵי (‘am·mû·ḏî)
Noun - in masculine plural construct.
Which traditionally is interpreted to mean "Pillars."
Upon immediate observation, you'll notice that, similar to verse 16, there is a grammatical inconsistency in the translation of these two phrases.
The first phrase is expressed in masculine singular form in Hebrew, but it has been translated into masculine plural form in English, indicating a lack of faithfulness in the translation.

Here's the significance of this discrepancy:

"Amudi" in this verse corresponds to the Arabic nickname for the formal Arabic name "Muhammad," namely "Hamûdî,"
The omission of the initial "H" sound in the name "Hamûdî" when it is borrowed into Hebrew as "‘ammûḏî" can be attributed to the fact that Hebrew loanwords from Arabic often omit the "H" sound at the beginning of a word.
In Hebrew phonology, initial "H" sounds in loanwords from Arabic are frequently dropped or assimilated into other sounds. This phenomenon is not unique to the nickname "Hamûdî"; rather, it is a common pattern observed in the borrowing of words from Arabic into Hebrew. This phonological adaptation occurs to accommodate the structure and phonetic patterns of the Hebrew language.
The first word, "שׁוֹקָיו֙" (šôwqâw), is likely to be understood as a verb form derived from the root "שׁקק" (sh.q.q), meaning "Desired" or "longed." The verse is in reality saying:

"His desired one, Amudi!"

And in the next verse, namely v.16 says:

"And in his entirety, Muhammadim!"

It kind of makes sense now that it says "AND in his entirety" and then a mention of his full formal name, after having mentioned him by his nickname. The pillars that are referenced later in the verse are described as being six in number, specifically "Six pillars of gold." This could potentially be a reference to the six pillars or columns that are located inside the Rawdah (Riaz ul Jannah) in "Masjid Nabawi" (The Prophet's Mosque) in Medina. These pillars hold special historical significance for Muslims and are adorned with gold.
"šôwqâw" is defined the following way in Hebrew dictionaries:

Root: שׁקק ᴵᴵ to desire. (— Qal)he desired (a hapax legomenon in the Bible, occurring Ps. 107:9). (— Hithpol.)he yearned, longed, desired. [Related to base שׁוק ᴵᴵᴵ.]Derivatives: שֶׁקֶק ᴵᴵ, שִׁקּוּק ᴵᴵ, שֽׁקִיקָה ᴵᴵ, הִשֽׁתּוֹקֽקוּת, שֽׁקִיקוּת, שׁוֹקֵק ᴵᴵ. Source: מקור: Klein Dictionary Creator: יוצר: Ezra Klein

4. The benefit in us initially not knowing that these Songs of Solomon were of prophetic nature?

The initial obscurity surrounding the prophetic nature of the Songs of Solomon serves a divine purpose, rooted in God's Eternal Wisdom. If people had known from the beginning that these Songs were prophetic, many would have falsely claimed the fulfillment of prophecies. However, God presented them as mere "Love stories," and their true purpose remained hidden for centuries.
Now, the reason for their inclusion in the Book of God has been revealed. This divine plan aims to clarify the truth for us in the modern age without the need for a new prophet or messenger (I'm only an author on Reddit who's well versed in the Scriptures).

5. The "Erchomai" (aka "Paraclete" and the promise of the "Spirit of Truth"):

Jesus promised his followers the coming of "another" advocate:

John 14:15-18:
"If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you (ἔρχομαι)."

While I am not an expert in Greek, the fact that the world cannot accept him could imply that they would reject his message, and that they do not see him could mean they do not believe in his message. It does not have to refer to an invisible Spirit.
The translation of "I will come to you" is based on the verb in its base form, "ἔρχομαι." John the Baptist uses another form of this word when speaking about someone greater than him who would come after him:

Matthew 3:11 (NIV):
"I baptize you with water for repentance. But after me comes (ἐρχόμενος - erchomenos) one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire."

Here, it is clear that John the Baptist is referring to another human being who will come after him because he mentions his sandals (Holy Ghost doesn't wear sandals, as far as we know). This individual will perform a different kind of baptism—with the Holy Spirit and fire. The Holy Spirit is identified as Gabriel, and the "Fire" in this context refers to the verse from Deuteronomy 33:

"He said, “The LORD came from Sinai, And dawned on them from Seir; He shone forth from Mount Paran, And He came from among ten thousand holy ones; At His right hand was a flaming fire, a law, for them." (Deuteronomy 33:2)

The fire is this fiery Law that is mentioned here.
Furthermore, all of these locations mentioned in this verse are cities in ancient Arabia. See these ancient maps below clearly proving this:
- Sinai: (Click here to see ancient map)
Look for: Within the region of what is today known as "Tabuk, Saudi Arabia."
- Seir: (Click here to see ancient map)
Look for: Right next to "Seger", which corresponds to "Thamud" today I believe (or at least very close to it. You'll also see "Kor" right next to it, which is what the Bible also says is close to Seir.)
- Mount Paran: (Click here to see ancient map)
Look for: "Pharanite" within (or close by what was known as Arabia Petrea, but it was a vast mountainous region and probably stretched well into Arabia as well, you'll find it right next to "Modiana" in this map (which most likely is the "Midian" the Bible speaks of), and the Bible also says that Midian is close to Paran so it makes perfect sense.)
Returning to Matthew 3:11, we see that the individual being referred to is an actual human, as indicated by the mention of sandals. This person cannot be Jesus, as John the Baptist and Jesus lived during the same time and even carried out their missions simultaneously. John was referring to Prophet Muhammad (also known as "Ahmad"). The Holy Quran says:

"And remember, Jesus, the son of Mary, said: 'O Children of Israel! I am the messenger of God (sent) to you, confirming the Law (which came) before me, and giving Glad Tidings of a Messenger to come after me, whose name shall be Ahmad.' But when he came to them with Clear Signs, they said, 'this is evident sorcery!'" (61:6)

Additionally:

"Verily this is a Revelation from the Lord of the Worlds: the Spirit of Truth has brought it down [i.e. brought down the Quran] upon your heart, so that you become one of the warners, in plain Arabic language. And indeed, it is surely in the former Scriptures. Is it not a Sign for them that the scholars of the Children of Israel have recognized it?" (26:193-197)

The Quran directly claims that this prophecy is found in the former Scriptures and that the scholars of the Children of Israel have recognized it, and here (in this post) you are clearly seeing parallels before your very own eyes.

6. The coming the "Son of man":

Matthew 25:31-44 gives us some highly interesting statements made by Jesus himself:
"The Son of Man Will Judge the Nations"

31 “When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the holy angels with Him, then He will sit on the throne of His glory. 32 All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them one from another, as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats. 33 And He will set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left. 34 Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: 35 for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; 36 I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’ 37 “Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? 38 When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? 39 Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ 40 And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’ 41 “Then He will also say to those on the left hand, ‘Depart from Me, you cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels: 42 for I was hungry and you gave Me no food; I was thirsty and you gave Me no drink; 43 I was a stranger and you did not take Me in, naked and you did not clothe Me, sick and in prison and you did not visit Me.’ 44 “Then they also will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to You?’ 45 Then He will answer them, saying, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’ 46 And these will go away into everlasting punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

This "Son of man" prophecy in Matthew 25:31-44 is not referring to Jesus, even though he did use this term to describe himself. This passage is about another "Son of man," as Jesus was not a king. This was about the prophet from Arabia:

In Isaiah 21, we read a prophecy against Arabia and someone who would flee from swords and war:

"Proclamation Against Arabia"

13 The burden against Arabia.
In the forest in Arabia you will lodge,
O you traveling companies of Dedanites.
14 O inhabitants of the land of Tema,
Bring water to him who is thirsty;
With their bread they met him who fled.
15 For they fled from the swords, from the drawn sword,
From the bent bow, and from the distress of war.
16 For thus the Lord has said to me: “Within a year, according to the year of a hired man, all the glory of Kedar will fail; 17 and the remainder of the number of archers, the mighty men of the people of Kedar, will be diminished; for the Lord God of Israel has spoken it.”

The sole instance of Kedar's glory waning and ultimately falling was through the prophet Muhammad. This prophecy finds its fulfillment exclusively in him, with no possibility of being fulfilled by another, given the non-existence of "Kedar" any longer. Notice the words "They bring water to him who is thirsty, with their bread they met him who fled" mirroring what Jesus said about that Son of man.
The only recorded instance of the entire Arabian Peninsula succumbing was through prophet Muhammad, a messenger who professed to be sent for all of humanity, including all earthly kings.
Nonetheless, what I want to point out is the following:

"14. O inhabitants of the land of Tema, Bring water to him who is thirsty; With their bread they met him who fled."

Directly mirroring what Jesus mentioned the king (i.e. this 'Son of man') would say, in Matthew 25:

"35. for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in;"

This passage pertains to the migration (also known as "Hijrah") of Prophet Muhammad in 622 CE from Mecca to Yathrib (Medina) upon receiving an invitation, in order to escape the persecution of the warring pagans of Mecca.

Conclusion:

With this, I conclude my post, and I genuinely hope that I have brought some enlightenment to some of you and convinced you just as much as I am convinced about these prophecies.
/By your brother, Exion.

Questions and Answers

[Note to women: If you are a woman under the covering of a man, you may either use this section to reply to an officer, or you may simply do the following. Whenever the officer asks you a question, you may reply, "I am under the covering of my husband (father, brother, etc.). You will have to speak to him," to each and every question he asks, no matter what he asks you. If and when he asks where your man is, you may reply as our Lord did, "come and see" (John 1:38-39). If he wants to talk with him, he will have to follow you to get to your man. Make sure you do not give the impression that you are "refusing" to answer his questions, but that you cannot answer his questions because you are under the covering of your man, and he is your head. You may also say that you are commanded by your husband to remain silent, which removes the burden from yourself].

Officer: (While approaching) Bondservant: Greetings in the name of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus the Christ. Do you greet me in the same name? (If he or she does not answer you, ask in whose name they do greet you. You will then know who and what you are dealing with).
Officer: Let me see your driver's license, vehicle registration, and proof of insurance. Bondservant: I have something better.
Officer: What’s that? Bondservant: I have here the Holy Scriptures which describes and defines me as an ambassador and bondman of Jesus the Christ, executing His Testament. Are you?
Officer: Yes. (If he says "No, I'm just a cop," ask him who he ministers for). Bondservant: Well, praise God. Perhaps you would like to sit down and discuss the scriptures for a moment?
Officer: Some other time. I need to see some State ID. Bondservant: Well, I don’t belong to the State, but to God our Father, and He knows me. In His Law, there is no requirement for ID, because I’m sealed by His Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:30), which marks and separates me from the natural man (1 Corinthians 2:14). This (holding up the scripture) is the Law I follow; the Law of God.
Officer: Oh! So you're religious, huh? Bondservant: No, I'm not religious. Religion is death. I serve the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, which is Life.
Officer: What is your name? Bondservant: Are you asking me for my God-given name?
Officer: No, I'm asking you for your first, middle, and last name. Bondservant: Well, I don't have a first, middle, and last name. But I do have a God-given name. Is that what you're asking me for?
Officer: Okay then...yea yea yea. What is your God-given name? Bondservant: I will also ask of you one question, and if you answer me, I will answer your question (Mark 11:29). Who do you minister for?
Officer: I am not a minister. Now what is your name? Bondservant: I'll re-phrase my question. In whose name, and by whose authority, do you do the things you do?
Officer: Have you ever been arrested before? Bondservant: I need to know in whose name you do the things you do before I answer that question, because you came to me, I did not come to you.
Officer: I am conducting an investigation and I need to know who you are to continue my investigation. Bondservant: Well, when you answer in whose name you do the things you do, then you may proceed with your investigation.
Officer: I work for the city/state/country of (name). Now what is your name? Bondservant: Out of your own mouth you have testified that you do not minister for God, through Christ Jesus. I am a bondman of Christ Jesus, and I am commanded by Him to render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's (Matthew 22:21, Mark 12:17, Luke 20:25). I do have a name that God has given me (John 10:3, Revelation 2:17) because I am subject to His Authority, as you are. However, Caesar has not given me a name, nor called me anything at anytime. Since I have not been given a name by Caesar, I do not have a name that can be rendered to him. (To clarify, by rendering our name to the servants of God, we are rendering our name to God, because His servants act in His name). No man can serve two masters (Matthew 6:24).
Officer: I will ask you one more time. Tell us who you are! Bondservant: I am who my Father says I am.
Officer: So, who does your father say you are? Bondservant: If you knew my Father, you would know who I am (1 John 3:1, John 8:19; 14:7). My name is written in the Lamb's book of Life (Philippians 4:3, Revelation 3:5; 21:27), and if your name was written in there as well, you would know who I am.
Officer: Well, I can't let you go until I have your name. Bondservant: If I give you my name, I'd be subjecting myself to you. I can't do that. Besides, it's not the physical name that's important, it's what is written on our heart that's important. That is who I am.

[Note: In some places they will arrest you and leave you in jail until you do give them a "name." Therefore, if the officer asks what he should call you, you may say to the officer, "I do not have a name, but you may call me (giving your Christian name, not your family name)." This way, you are telling them you do not have a name given by Caesar, and at the same time, satisfying their request for something to call you by. If, after you give them your name...Officer: Hmmm. Well, your name is not in our computer! Bondservant: Well, what law says that I have to be in your computer?]

Officer: You are interfering with a law enforcement officer in the execution of his duties. I could bring you in for obstructing justice. Bondservant: I could not possibly be interfering with whatever your duties may be because I'm speaking the Truth to you. Are you saying that because I speak the truth you hate me? (John 8:45-47).
Officer: I don't hate you. Bondservant: Do you want me to speak the Truth to you, or do you want me to tell you what you want to hear?
Officer: The truth. Bondservant: Well that is what I'm speaking to you.
Officer: Well, that's your belief. Bondservant: No, this has nothing to do with belief, this has to do with the truth. It is written in your law that the cause of the church is a public cause, and private interpretation is irrelevant.
Officer: Well, I don't want to hear that stuff. Bondservant: Excuse me. What I have to say has importance to everyone. I am speaking the truth to you, and the truth has an effect on everything you and I do. In rejecting the truth, men reject its Author. In trampling upon the law of God, they deny the authority of the Law-giver.
Officer: Well, I believe in the principles of Jesus. Bondservant: So what? That doesn't mean anything. Either you're for Him or you're against Him (Matthew 12:30). Those who are lukewarm, Christ will spue out of his mouth (Revelation 3:16). Either you place Him as Lord over you're life or you don't.
Officer: You are too narrow. I am an expert on world religions. I have traveled to many countries and have had long discussions with the leaders of many religious groups. I have discussed the road of life through time and eternity with Muslims, Brahins, Shintoists, and many others. All of them know God, even though they do not believe in Jesus Christ. I am sorry to have to disagree with you, but you put too much emphasis on Jesus Christ and do not allow that other religions are just as good as Christianity. Bondservant: Your argument is not with me, but with the scripture. It is not I who say these things, it is the Word of God. Jesus said that no man can come to the Father but by Him (John 14:6). If you wish to dispute someone, dispute Him. (Remember, you are not called to convince anyone, you are simply called to be an open channel for the Spirit of God to flow through. You can never be anything else, even though you may think so at times. Follow the pathway of obedience, let the Word of God do its own work, and you will be used by God far beyond your own powers).
Officer: Do you have any weapons? Bondservant: Only the sword of Truth (holding up the scriptures)...we are after the Truth, yes? The weapons of my warfare are not carnal, but spiritual (2 Corinthians 10:4, Ephesians 6:11-20). I realize you're engaged in war, otherwise you wouldn't be carrying that gun, but I walk in peace, and therefore I come in peace.
Officer: Do you mind if I search you then? Bondservant: You will do whatever you deem is necessary to accomplish your intended purpose.
Officer: You are entitled at least to an opinion. Bondservant: I have no entitlements from Caesar, and opinions are not Law, and have no standing in Law.
Officer: I found this paper (document, certificate, bible, etc) with a name on it. Are you (name)? Bondservant: You say I am (Luke 22:70; 23:3).
Officer: No, I am asking you if you are the person on this paper. Bondservant: You say I am (Matthew 27:11, Mark 15:2).
Officer: I did not make a statement. I asked an interrogatory. Do you know what an interrogatory is? Bondservant: You say I do.
Officer: An interrogatory is a question. I am going to ask you again. Are you (name)? Bondservant: You are accusing me of being the person on that piece of paper. Therefore, you say I am (John 18:37).
Officer: Then how do you introduce yourself to others? Bondservant: I don’t. Did I run up to you and do that?
Officer: No. Bondservant: There is your answer.
Officer: I am a Christian just like you are. Bondservant: Well then, that means we're brothers! And if we're brothers we have the same Father. And therefore, we already know one another. You don't need to ask me for any ID, or where I live, or where I was born, because those things are of the flesh, and they don't mean anything. What need have you of ID after I've shown you that I am a bondman of Christ?
Officer: We don't know who you are. Bondservant: I don't know who you are.
Officer: Is there anybody here who can verify who you are? Bondservant: My Father knows me, and if you knew my Father, as you say you do, then you already know me, for He sends me. The Holy Spirit knows me, and all of the saints of heaven bear witness of who I am. Which, even you must admit, makes it a majority.
Officer: But how do I know that you are who you say you are? Bondservant: The scripture says, "If I do not the works of my Father, believe me not. But if I do, though ye believe not me, believe the works: that ye may know, and believe, that the Father is in me, and I in him." (John 10:37-38).
Officer: Everyone in this country must be identified. Bondservant: Yes, all "persons" do.
Officer: Oh, I suppose you're not a person. What are you then, an entity? Bondservant: No, I'm not an entity, and I'm not a right and duty bearing unit. As I have told you, I'm a bondman of Christ Jesus, and I'm here to speak the truth. Under the law of slaves, slaves are not persons.
Officer: That is all well and good. But you have to understand, you must have a license or some kind of identification when you are out here on the roads. Bondservant: I have a higher Law that I must answer to. The scripture says, "I can do all things through Christ [not the government] which strengtheneth me" (Philippians 4:13). If I had a license, I’d be forsaking the Father and His Law. I am not out here hurting anybody. I am doing the Will of my Father. And under His Law no identification is required for he has already identified me by the testimony I keep. The Christ’s assembly does not exist on paper, but in the hearts of men, and is expressed in their outward acts. Because there is no breath of Life from God in such pieces of paper (Genesis 2:7; 7:15), I do not look to them for any authority for doing anything. Christ is my authority for doing the things I do.
Officer: Can you not show me something, such as a passport or some kind of identity documents? Bondservant: I cannot show you a Passport or any identity documents, for my King does not issue them.
Officer: Who is your passenger? Bondservant: I do not have a passenger, he's my brother and we're exercising God's Will.
Officer: Do you own this vehicle? Bondservant: Firstly, slaves are incapable of 'ownership'. Being a servant of Christ, I am not an owner of anything, for it has been written from the beginning, "The earth is the LORD'S, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein" (Psalms 24:1, 1 Corinthians 10:26). Officer, are you not a ‘public servant’? As a servant, this police car does not belong to you, but to your master, whom you serve. Likewise, I am a servant, and this vessel belongs to my Master, whom I serve. If you were to go to the DMV and attempt to get a title to that police car by claiming you are the "owner," would you not be bearing false witness? Likewise, I would be bearing false witness by claiming that I am the owner of this vessel and attempting to get a title. Secondly, you presume this is a vehicle.
Officer: Under the traffic laws of this state, a motor vehicle is defined as ‘every vehicle which is self-propelled’ (or "any vehicle which is propelled by mechanical power, and not human power"). Bondservant: Then, by your own law, this is not a motor vehicle, because it is not self-propelled (or "not propelled by mechanical power"). It's propelled by fuel, which comes from God. If you believe it is self-propelled, then call it, and see if it comes to you. If it does not come to you, then your reality is different from mine.
Officer: Does this car belong to you? Bondservant: No, it’s not mine, but it is in my care. I can’t own anything, everything belongs to God (Psalm 24:1). I am a joint heir with Christ Jesus (Romans 8:17). And it is written in your maxims of law that no one can be both owner and heir at the same time. I’m simply using this vessel to exercise my duty of movement on the Common Ways (Galatians 5:1). God gave me this as a stewardship to do His Will. It belongs to Him, because he made it.
Officer: No, the car manufacturer made it. Bondservant: And where did the manufacturer get all this metal from? Didn’t they get it from the ore in the earth? God created all the materials that are used in this machine. Therefore, God created it. The manufacturer simply used materials that God already created. "For every house is builded by some man; but he that built all things is God" (Hebrews 3:4).
Officer: Well, since this car is not yours, then give it to me! Bondservant: It is not mine to give.
Officer: Well, how would you feel if I just took this car, since it's not yours? Bondservant: I came into this world without a vessel, and I'll depart from this world without a vessel. I would have no hard feelings if you took it, because you'd be stealing from God, not me; and God will continue to supply me with my needs (Matthew 6:31-33, Luke 12:22-31, Philippians 4:19, Psalms 34:10).
Officer: (Pointing to the diplomatic plates) What is this? Bondservant: These are diplomatic plates, for the scripture says, "we are ambassadors for Christ" (2 Corinthians 5:20). This plate evidences Who I serve and minister for, the jurisdiction I’m under, and the Law I follow.
Officer: What State are they from? Bondservant: They're from the state of Christendom.
Officer: Where did you get these plates? Bondservant: They are given to me by the Christ's assembly.
Officer: Where is the Christ's assembly located? Bondservant: The whole body of believers in Christ are His assembly, where two or three are gathered in His name (Matthew 8:20).
Officer: You can't do that. You can't use those plate. Bondservant: Why not? The government is upon Christ's shoulder (Isaiah 9:6).

Officer: (If there are State issued license plates on car) These plates belong to Caesar! Bondservant: No, that's not Caesar's. Caesar claims it's his, but the substance belongs to God.

Officer: So, you think you’re above the law, huh? Bondservant: The word ‘Law,’ to a minister of Christ, means the Word of God. I am not above the Law of God at any time, but I am always justified in not performing those things which have men for their author and exalt themselves by opposing the righteous authority of God. I cannot accept the authority of man above that of God, for the scripture says, "We ought to obey God rather than men" (Acts 5:29).
Officer: You deny the authority of man’s law? Bondservant: God’s Word denies his authority. There is only one lawgiver (Isaiah 33:22, James 4:12). God Almighty.
Officer: Where were you going in your car? Bondservant: Wherever God leads me. He directs my comings and goings during my sojourn here with Him. Our Lord tends me as a shepherd and leads me as He will and I follow Him ( Psalms 23:1).
Officer: Where do you live? Bondservant: I live, move and have my being in Christ Jesus (Luke 4:4, John 11:25, Galatians 2:20).
Officer: Where do you live, physically? Bondservant: I live wherever I happen to be at the time. Right now, I live right here where I am standing. [If you say you live someplace else, then you’re admitting you’re dead, spiritually dead, because you’re not ‘living’ here but somewhere else. You cannot "live" in two places at once.]
Officer: Where is your home? Bondservant: Right here (point to your heart).
Officer: Where is your residence, abode, domicile, or dwelling? Bondservant: I "have no certain dwellingplace" (1 Corinthians 4:11) because I’m a sojourner on the land with Him (Leviticus 25:23, Psalm 39:12, 1 Chronicles 29:15, Hebrews 11:13). And the scripture says, "The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head" (Matthew 8:20, Luke 9:58).

[As a matter of fact, Jesus was asked this very question, "where dwellest thou?" and we may answer as he did...] "come and see" (John 1:38-39). [He said "come and see me live! You can see where I live by observing my life." Jesus did not say "Well, I'm a resident of Nazareth," or "I dwell in that house over there," or "I live in Israel." Giving somebody an address, or a physical location, doesn't prove that that's where you live. But by saying "come and see," you're saying "come and witness it!"]

Officer: Where does your family live? Bondservant: My brother, sister, and mother are whosoever shall do the will of God (Matthew 12:49-50, Luke 8:21). Therefore, they too live, move, and have their being in Christ Jesus.
Officer: Where did you sleep last night? Bondservant: I slept in a tent. [We do indeed sleep in a tent, but not the tent that he might be thinking of. We're not using deceit, we're speaking in a spiritual manner. In scripture, a tent is synonymous with a tabernacle; the words "tent" and "tabernacle" are both tranlslated from the same word. Our physical body is a tabernacle (2 Corinthians 5:1-4). A tent reflects the body's transient character; it's a temporary dwelling place. Even though we did not sleep in a literal tent, we are in a tabernacle and, therefore, that is where we slept.]
Officer: Well, where'd you sleep in this tent? On the mountain or down in the valley? Bondservant: Neither.
Officer: What do you mean neither? It's either one or the other. Bondservant: It doesn't really matter.
Officer: Well, what street was it close to? Bondservant: It doesn't really matter.
Officer: What is your citizenship? Bondservant: My citizenship is not of this world (John 18:36). I'm a fellow citizen with the saints, and of the household of God (Ephesians 2:19).
Officer: What country are you from? Bondservant: New Jerusalem, the heavenly Jerusalem (Hebrews 11:16; 12:22-24, Revelation 3:12; 21:2).
Officer: So what are you, an angel or something? Bondservant: That's right. I'm a messenger of God. (In scripture, an angel is synonymous with a messenger; the words "angel" and "messenger" are both tranlslated from the same word, and refer to men as well as spiritual angels).
Officer: Well, where do you receive your mail? Bondservant: I do not receive mail. I call for First-Class matter from time to time on behalf of the Christ's assembly posted to us in the general post-office. [Note: if you pick up mail at the general post-office addressed to "the Christ's assembly", you are not receiving mail in your own name, but in the name of Christ. It is addressed to all believers in Christ, not you. You can keep an opened post-marked envelope in the glove box to evidence this fact.]
Officer: What’s your phone number? Bondservant: I do not have a phone number. [Technically, all phone numbers belong to the phone company].
Officer: What's your zip code? Bondservant: I do not have a zip code. Nobody really has a zip code. Zip codes belong to the Post Office.
Officer: What's your Social Security number? Bondservant: I do not have Social Security number. I'm forbidden to be marked by a number from the government (1 Chronicles 21:2-14, 2 Samuel 24, Revelation 13:16-18; 14:9-11; 16:2; 19:20).
Officer: When were you born? Bondservant: We were all made in His image and likeness on the sixth day (Genesis 1:26-27), but God has never told us when that was. I cannot put a particular date on that.
Officer: How old are you? Bondservant: I don't know. Only my Father knows that and He has never told me.
Officer: Where were you born? Bondservant: I don’t know, I was not exactly cognizant at the time. To venture a guess would be telling a lie. It would be a conclusion based upon hearsay only, and in both your law and God's Law, hearsay is not the truth. Besides, this is irrelevant to a Good and Lawful minister of Christ. It’s not our first birth from corruptible seed that’s important (1 Peter 1:23), but our second birth, when we’re "born again" (John 3:3,7). The first birth is of the world, the second birth is of God (John 1:12-13).
Officer: How is it that you don’t have a birth date? Bondservant: Only my Father knows where and when I was born, and he has never revealed it to me.
Officer: Which father are you talking about? Bondservant: My heavenly Father.
Officer: Well, what about your earthly father? Has he told you when or where you were born? Bondservant: That's irrelevant, because that's hearsay, and hearsay is not the truth. I can only speak of things which I have seen and heard (Acts 4:20).
Officer: What are you trying to hide? Bondservant: What are you trying to make me say?
Officer: The truth. Bondservant: Well, I am speaking the Truth to you. It is written in your law that no one is bound to do what is impossible. You're asking me to give you answers that are impossible for me to give you. I cannot give you that which I do not have, and I cannot tell you that which I do not know.
Officer: How much do you weigh? How tall are you? Bondservant: I don't speculate about such things.
Officer: Where do you work? Bondservant: Work is not a place, it's an activity. And I do the works of God everywhere in general, nowhere specific.
Officer: How do you earn your living? Bondservant: I don't earn my life. God gives life freely.
Officer: Where do you get money to stay so clean and wear your clothes? Bondservant: When God guides, God provides.
Officer: Do you work for a living? Bondservant: How can I work for a living when I'm already alive? I labour for the Lord and he provides for all of my needs.
Officer: And what do you do when you labour for the Lord? Bondservant: I do whatever the Lord directs me to do.
Officer: Can you be a little more specific? Bondservant: I work as a _______ from time to time.
Officer: (If the initiating officer goes back to his car to call in for advice, and leaves you with an officer to keep an eye on you, you can say something like…) Bondservant: Well, I’m here to execute Christ’s Testament and bear witness to somebody, so perhaps you’re here for that purpose. (Their eyes might get real big at this point, so continue). How are you with the Lord?
Officer: Oh, I’m OK. Bondservant: Well, that doesn’t sound too enthusiastic. Do you study the scriptures?
Officer: No. I don’t have time. I’m a working single mother with two jobs and a seven year old boy. Bondservant: (Continue witnessing. When the initiating officer returns, you may close with…) Be sure and take some time to study. If not for yourself, then for the boy’s sake.
Officer: (If other officers arrive, you may witness to them as well). Bondservant: Do you ever read the scripture?
Officer: No, I am a cop (or if he says he's a marxist, a communist, etc., just fill in the blanks of the following reply). Bondservant: The scripture was written especially for cops. It says that God so greatly loved cops that he gave His only begotten Son so that any cop who believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life" (John 3:16).
Officer: I would love to ask Jesus to come into my heart, but I cannot. I am a Jew. Bondservant: You cannot ask Jesus into your heart because you are a Jew? Then you do not understand that with the Jew (Jesus) in your heart, you are a double Jew. On the divine side He was God's Son. On man's side He was a Jew. When you accept Him you do not become a Gentile. You become even more Jewish than before. You will be a completed Jew! (Romans 2:28 -29).
Officer: (Now, the initiating officer returns...) Are you a resident or a non-resident? Bondservant: Neither. My Father has never described me as either of those.
Officer: You're lying. You're either one or the other. Bondservant: I am not lying, I am speaking the truth. How would you know the Truth when you have cast away the Law of God behind you and forsaken Him (Isaiah 5:24)? You cannot know the Truth, and if you cannot know the Truth, you can never know a lie.
Officer: I don't like your answers. Bondservant: If I were to answer you any other way, I'd be lying to you. Are you compelling me to lie to you?
Officer: We all must obey the laws of the land. Bondservant: Yes, that is true. But the law of the land is not man's law, it is God's Law.
Officer: You were driving this car, and all drivers must have a license. Bondservant: I am not driving a car, I am guiding this vessel to do the Lord's Will.
Officer: There is such a thing as separation of Church and State. Bondservant: Well, anybody that believes that the Law of God and the law of the land are separate, they've deluded themselves. That's not living in the truth, that's living in an image of someone else's idea. Is there any law that man can create which sets the bounds of God's Law?
Officer: You know, the scripture says, "the powers that be are ordained of God" (Romans 13:1). Bondservant: Yes, and I am to submit to the King as supreme, and also to the governors, as to them who are sent by Him, for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well (1 Peter 2:14).
Officer: Well then, Caesar commands that you should have a license, tag, registration, title, insurance, and that you should wear your seatbelts, because it is against his law, and he is ordained of God, therefore you should do those things. Bondservant: Paul, the apostle, was often thrown in prison by Caesar for disobeying their laws. And even though Jesus Christ told Pilate (the governor), that Pilate had no power against him, but what God gave him, Christ died under the same Pilate. I hope you will not say that either Paul or Christ disobeyed the governing authorities, and so sinned against God in slighting their laws. Officer, God's Law has provided two ways of obeying Caesar: the one to do that which I am bound to do; and the other, when I cannot obey Caesar because it would violate a Law of God, is to submit to their laws which punish evil doers and reward them that do good, and be willing to lay down my life, and to suffer what Caesar shall do to me, for placing God's Law above man's law (Acts 5:29).
Officer: What's wrong with getting a license? How is it violating God's Law? Bondservant: Firstly, Caesar is saying I have to go through him to exercise God's Law. Caesar is no mediator between me and God, "For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus" (1 Timothy 2:5). Secondly, a license is a written agreement between me and the State. I cannot enter into any agreements with the State, because my covenant is with God, not with the heathen. Contracts with Caesar are forbidden, because all contracts are on Caesar’s terms, and all promises are to be on God's terms (Leviticus 18:2, Jeremiah 22:9). And thirdly, a license would bind me to owe man something, and scripture says, "Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law" (Romans 13:8).
Officer: Well, you have to understand that I have a job to do out here. Bondservant: Yes, I understand that you have a job to do, and I don't have a problem with that. But you must understand that I also have a job to do; I can only serve One Master, and He is above you and I, and He is also above whoever you take orders from.
Officer: When I see a violation taking place, I have to act on it. Bondservant: If I broke the Law, which of you convicts me of sin? (John 8:46). If I have done evil, bear witness of the evil I have done; but if well, why do you hinder me (John 18:23)? I was exercising my duty of movement upon the common ways. My warrant for doing that is written in the Word of God, "Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature" (Mark 16:15), also, "To visit orphans and widows in their affliction" (James 1:27).
Officer: Well, you're breaking the law if you don't have a license from the government. Bondservant: So, then you're re-defining what good and evil is? Scripture does not say it's a sin to not get a license. You can say it's evil all day long, but if God's Word does not show it is an evil act then it's not evil. I am exercising my Duty of movement on the common ways for my Master, and that is not evil.
Officer: You can walk. Bondservant: Yes, I can. But the Lord has provided me this vessel.
Officer: Do you have vehicle insurance? Bondservant: I don't need insurance from man because I have assurance from God (Isaiah 32:17, Hebrews 10:22). I am not authorized to enter into contracts with State approved insurance companies. And car insurance neither prevents accidents, nor saves lives.
Officer: So, you're one of those people who don't pay taxes, huh? Bondservant: We pay for whatever we use. The Body of Christ is not made up of thieves. I owe Caesar nothing because I take nothing from Caesar, and I don't reside in your fictions. We're not your slaves, we are bondservants of Christ.
Officer: Do you pledge allegiance to the flag? Bondservant: No. That's idolatry. The only pledge of allegiance I can make is to our Creator.
Officer: Please sign this ticket. Bondservant: You presume evil where there is none. And I cannot sign that piece of paper, because I am a bondservant of my Sovereign King and Lord Christ Jesus (1 Corinthians 7:22-23). Therefore, I cannot enter into any agreements which either obligates Him or myself.
Officer: It's a criminal offense if you refuse to sign it. Bondservant: I am not refusing to sign it, I am forbidden to sign it. I have no warrant from Him in His Law to sign those tickets, and I am specifically forbidden to do so in His Law (Matthew 6:34, Romans 13:8, 2 Corinthians 6:14-17). Just like you are forbidden to do certain acts by your master.
Officer: I know that I should arrest you and impound the car, but I'm going to let you go. You're free to go. Bondservant: Thank you, officer, and may God richly bless you for your compassion and your respect to the Law.
Alternatively, the outcome may be:
Officer: If you don't have a license, I'm going to have to arrest you. Bondservant: "I am straightened on every side; for if I do this thing, it is death unto me; and if I do it not, I cannot escape your hands. It is better for me to fall into your hands, and not do it, than to sin in the sight of the Lord" (Apocrypha, History of Susan 1:22-23).
Officer: Well, I must arrest you now. Bondservant: You do what you must; I can only do what our Lord and Master has commanded me to do. You're asking me to do what is impossible to do. I only serve one Master, and I am told by Him to render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's. I don't have anything that belongs to Caesar, so I have nothing that can be rendered to him. By your own admission, you serve Caesar and not God.
Officer: Caesar has been dead for two thousand years! Bondservant: Caesar may be dead, but his spirit is not. And by your words and actions, you yourself have evidenced that his spirit is very much alive. Are you a Peace officer?
Officer: Yes, I am. Bondservant: Well, there is no greater Peace than that of "the Prince of Peace," Jesus the Christ (Isaiah 9:6).
Officer: I'm afraid that I must arrest you now. Bondservant: There is no law that compels an officer to violate God’s Law, which is the Supreme Law of the land, and the basis of all law in America.
Officer: There are codes, rules, and regulations that you are breaking, so I must bring you to the station. Bondservant: Jesus did not use your codes, rules, and regulations for the things he did, and neither do I use your codes, rules, and regulations for the things that I do. Officer, there are laws of man that direct you to do certain things, but I follow the Laws of God which direct me to do certain things. What's the difference?
Officer: You’re under arrest. Bondservant: You seek to arrest me because God’s Word hath no place in you (John 8:37).
Officer: I'm just doing my job. Bondservant: The Nazi's, too, were just doing their job. The Roman soldiers who crucified Jesus were just following orders.
Officer: Who are you to preach to me? Bondservant: That's my Duty. And it should be your duty to speak the truth as well.
Officer: Let’s go to jail, pal. Bondservant: "I am in your hands; do with me as seemeth good and right unto you" (Jeremiah 26:14).
Officer: We're going to impound this car; it's the law. Bondservant: If you steal for Caesar, it is still you who are stealing. And what you steal from a servant of God, you steal from God himself.
Officer: (If he reads the Miranda Warning) You have the right to remain silent (and other State benefits...). Do you understand your rights? Bondservant: I cannot accept any rights or protections offered by the State.
Officer: I need to know if you understand what I read to you. Bondservant: I cannot enter into any agreements with you.
Police Station:
Officer: Step against the wall please. Bondservant: What for?
Officer: We have to take your photograph. Bondservant: Well, if you take something, isn't that stealing?
Officer: Hmm. You do not want to give us your picture? Bondservant: It is an image.
Officer: Is it a graven image? Bondservant: It is only an image.
Officer: Well, we have to take your fingerprints. Bondservant: They are not mine to give, and they are not Caesar's to take. They belong to God.
Officer: Here is an ID tag you have to wear. Bondservant: I am forbidden to be marked with a false image.
Officer: Do you have on any underwear? Bondservant: That's none of your business.
Officer: Well, you need to put on these jail clothes. Bondservant: What I have on is sufficient, because the Lord has given me these clothes to wear. If you want those on me, you'll have to put them on me and steal the clothes off my back. Two thousand years ago, when Christ was a prisoner of the State, the officers of Caesar stole the clothes off of Jesus' back as well (Matthew 27:35, Mark 15:24, Luke 23:34, John 19:23-24), and it will be an honor for me to suffer for His sake as He has suffered for my sake (Philippians 1:29, 1 Peter 2:20; 3:14). But, in any case, I will not wear the clothes of a criminal. All that I have, and all that I am, belongs to God (Psalm 24:1, 1 Corinthians 6:19), and is a gift from my Father (James 1:17). Therefore, what you steal from me, you steal from Him.
https://www.ecclesia.org/truth/movement.html

I read a lot of the stories on here, and I feel almost embarrassed for how hurt I am. I logically understand he is mentally ill, but emotionally I am hurt. The relationship was barely a few months and yet I feel so discarded. The good days felt good.
Here it goes:
We had matched on hinge before I went off to my military courses. Within the first week of talking on FaceTime a few months ago, he disclosed that after a breakup he decided to swallow a bunch of leftover narcotics he had. I got scared when he told me that and was going to call things off. And he came back and said I’m not trying to scare you away I just wanted to be honest about all the parts of myself… and somehow my idiot self found that romantic.
Basically… we were doing this long distance relationship for months. But even then, he’d over idealize everything about our relationship… like “you’re gonna be PERFECT for me” and “when we have sex it’s going to be the best sex EVER” etc.
The relationship was still new and I did like him. But he had these bouts of being like “yeah I’m not in love with you yet. I just wanted you to know. And it’s giving me anxiety that I’m not in love with you yet. And what if I feel this way after my 3 month deployment to the ___ too!”
But then it would flip back to “I’m so happy to call you mine!” And he’d plan out our future together for 10 years down the road on like printed calendar paper. He'd do the same thing with his own career too. He was completely directionless in terms of how to navigate his own careelife path.
He used phrases like “I want to be in love with someone every day and I want to wake up with fire for them!” And I’m like that’s hallmark dude real life ain’t like that all the time.
“I don’t want to ever have what my parents have and that makes me so scared” “I don’t want to come home from work in the future and sit and eat spaghetti and talk about my day” and “I need to be able to tell you how I feel because if I can’t then how could I ever love you”
He had mentioned he didn’t like psychiatrists or medication and didn’t want anything on his military record and I didn’t put two and two together until after experiencing his behavior…. It was like riding a rollercoaster and he was impenetrable to logic. I didn't even feel like a participant in the relationship. I felt like I was showing up at his door wondering what version of him I'd be getting that day.
He had these deeply depressive and manic swings… to the point he was like functionless. He had mentioned not liking people who were psychiatrists and also “not liking medication”. He never said in reference to what.
Hyper obsessing over any emotion he was experiencing and then drastically reacting to that emotion so that he was no longer functioning … whether it be tired or grumpy whatever. He would literally let one whole mood consume him, his days, if he was off from work and not occupied. He couldn’t cope by himself. I’d have to be like alright it’s time to get off the couch.
Abusive alcoholic dad that would beat him. Mom was busy with work but my ex idolized her. They visited him during the first 2 weeks I was here. He had me meet them 3 times over the course of me being here. It was clear to me the dad craved the moms attention/affection.
The other week… we were at a public restaurant. I reached into take the remaining 1/2 piece of bacon off his plate that he wasn't eating and he grabbed my fork from my hand and threw my fork across the floor of the restaurant…. He said "he didn't like me doing that because it reminded him of his dad taking food off his plate and fighting with his dad". I remember peering at the table behind me and they looked shocked.
He came home wasted after 15 BEERS (he's not a big guy) and crying after taking a hit of a vape being like I hope I can be the man you need I’m sorry I did this and I don’t want to have kids because I’m inherently a bad person… and I was like dude chill… his dads an alcoholic and he has admitted his fear of becoming one….I was here for TWO WEEKS.
He sees a therapist but only immediately runs to one for relief when he “feels bad”. He’s not seeing one routinely. He was obsessed with the concept of mental health, but had no insight into his.
He was obsessed with the concept of mental health, but had no insight into his. I had suggested last week we should take some steps back. Everything has been too much too fast. I had casually said during the conversation like hey idk what’s gonna happen in 3 months! You might meet a hot chick in the ___, I might meet someone here. Who knows! And he launched “how could you discredit our relationship like that! We’ve been in a committed monogamous relationship! We should just break up. I have a feeling in my stomach you’re not the one I’m going to marry and I can’t get passed it.”
When he picked up his stuff from my place… it was borderline cocky…. Like that posture and tone idk how to describe it. He said “um well here’s your stuff. I don’t have much time my parents are waiting outside.” (Why a grown man had his parents waiting outside idk) I said “How do you go from planning our future for ten years down the road on a paper calendar, to which I said hey let’s ease up a bit on that, to this? Does that make sense?” “I don’t have an explanation for my thoughts or feelings. I am the way I am. I want to feel like I’m on a rocket ship that’s launched into outer space that’s how a relationship should feel for me”
Now onto the possibly not so "straight" behavior….
He was obsessed with his college roommate. Would tell me that he liked to give him massages… He was pretty obsessed about his college roommate and his marriage… like the way he talked about him sometimes I was like he should be talking about me that way lol… he’s intentionally planning to visit him when his wife is supposed to give birth
He would literally call out and stare at hot guys that would walk by us all the time…He one time honked at one and I was like do you know him? And he was like no I’m just giving the hot guy some love …. And he’d call himself a fg, fggot, gay, all the time but I thought he was being funny…. All the guys he worked with thought he was gay.
We were getting ready for bed the other day and he like crawled on the bed and stuck his butt out and said “penetrate me! Don’t penetrate me. Penetrate me!” And I was like ew can you please stop and he tried turning it into something funny.
Fast forward to two days ago.
So he doesn’t use instagram. He deleted it off his phone bc of addiction issues. He has to deliberately type in the url of instagram and login.
He texted me the other morning breaking NC: Hey I just saw your Instagram post. I am really sorry about your dad’s cancer. That sucks. I really hope the best for him and for you.
I didn’t respond.
Then he came up to me in person at an event the other morning..
Him: “did you get my text?”
Me: “yes”
Him: “I’m sorry about your dad”
Me: “yeah. I’ve been grieving about this since I got here. I told you about the MRI. You never asked about it then.”
Him: “I would have never been able to be there for you. Do you know I care about you?
Me: no… how would I know that? You talk about how you want all of this passion. I don’t know how you could expect that when someone’s grieving and you’re so focused on yourself all of the time. You’ve never asked once how I or my family have been doing between me executing this big move and his looming diagnosis…I’ve been there for you unconditionally. And the constraints and expectations you put on this relationship without room for growth or exploration. Whatever happened to becoming someone’s best friend, growth? You were begging me to be there for you to accept you as you are the other night.”
Him: He started talking about himself and what he wanted. “I feel like passion should come first and becoming someone’s best friend comes later. I want to feel fire. I feel like we missed out on puppy love and I want puppy love. I really want to feel like I’m on a rocket ship. And the way I’m feeling right now I can’t backtrack”
Me: “___, I’ve been grieving. None of this is fair. How is any of what you’re saying fair or rational? Any psychologist will tell you a mature relationship isn’t supposed to be based on these all consuming feelings like the Vampire Diaries. I’m sure most of the mature relationships around you don’t describe themselves as rocketships… and that this “puppy love” feeling we base relationships off of in high school… it’s something that comes and goes frequently throughout a mature relationship.”
Him: I didn’t come over here to talk about our relationship, I came here to say sorry about your dad. I’m going back over there.
He didn’t text me or come over to say sorry about my dad for me, he did it for himself.
I feel so hurt and discarded. There are parts of me that question my own self wondering if I somehow did or phrased things differently would he realize there was something wrong.