Teacher farewell to parents

For teachers to tell stories

2013.03.23 23:39 Rosta1515 For teachers to tell stories

A subreddit where teachers and can tell about any student, parent, or staff member they had the pleasure or displeasure of meeting. Students may also participate by telling stories about teachers.
[link]


2013.08.19 20:41 pyxle Teaching UK

A place for teachers and school staff based in the UK.
[link]


2016.01.25 18:05 TheBalladsOfIrving Where I put my silly writing thingies.

I sometimes use /writingprompts for, well, writing prompts. And now I have a subreddit, because all the cool writers have them. Am I cool yet? I hope I am.
[link]


2024.05.19 16:17 LoganWY How I self-advocated (Long story no TL:DR)

Today I want to tell my story of how I self-advocated and what I did to achieve that goal. I'm telling my story to help those who are in a similar position to what I was in and to inspire those to self-advocate.
To recap from my earlier posts. I have ADHD and fell under the "multiple disabilities" characterization. My high school teacher claimed that I have autism (Not diagnosed). I personally don't believe I have autism or at the very least I have a high functioning autism. Throughout most of my school career, I was in a self-contained classroom with kids with severe disabilities. Even if I was in the general population I had a paraprofessional or peer tutor. I never believed that I should have been in that position. As a consequence, I never really learned any social skills, I was segregated, and felt like that people didn't want anything to do with me because I was sped. The reason why I ended up in this position was probably a combination of me having the "multiple disabilities'' characterization and me testing low in three year revaluation tests. If you want more info on this then feel free to search my profile. This is an alt account and is primarily used to ask questions about special ed so It's really easy to find stuff about me.
Before I get into my story I just want to make it clear that I'm not against special ed. There's good and bad people in every profession. I believed I was in danger for myself and for my future. I don't believe that my teacher was evil and had the best of intentions but he was putting me in a position that was hurting me and I had to act. If you have any questions or feedback feel free to let me know in the comments. Another thing is that this post has been really hard to make. It opened up some old wounds and as a result took several days to write.
Here's my story: So in late middle school I was tired of the placement that I was in. I was tired of not having friends, Not being able to socialize with my peers, not being able to date. I also was thinking about what my life will look like after high school, I was concerned that I was going to never have friends, Never be in a relationship, and not have the social skills to make those friends. I was generally very concerned for my future. So I decided that for my 8th grade year (2017-2018) I would do my absolute best for both my behavior and academics. Throughout the year nothing changed. I was hoping that me doing well would show that I didn't need any support but at the end of the year I still had paraprofessionals in most of my classes and was being pulled out for tests. In the summer between middle school and high school all I can think about is I want high school to be different. I wanted friends, I wanted a relationship, and I had dreams of me in the student council. When I got into high school I had peer tutors along with paraprofessionals (Peer Tutors are general ed students who sign up as an elective to help special needs kids. They basically serve the role as paraprofessionals with less responsibility). I did everything again and had the exact same result. In January of 2019 (freshmen year) I decided that my current strategy wasn't working. They also started making the peer tutors fill out behavioral checklists for their student(s) by grading them on how well they behaved/followed directions and gave them badges that say "peer tutor" which made me feel singled out. Because of that the peer tutors felt more like babysitters then someone that is an equal. So I went to my special ed teacher and asked him to remove the paraprofessional and the peer tutors. He told me no and said that I needed them. I changed my strategy again and I was going to ask for the Peer Tutors to be gone first, then focus on removing the paraprofessionals. I was more concerned about the peer tutors over the paraprofessionals because I was concerned that since they were part of the student body that this was going to affect me when I was running for the student council. I was worried that they'd tell others I was special needs then people would think I was incompetent. So every 2 weeks I would ask him again to remove them and each time he would give me a different excuse on why I couldn't be alone. Here's some of the excuses he gave me: "The peer tutors need to be there to collect data", "You need to prove that you can do the work yourself", "It's not up to me. It's the general education teacher that decides if you need a peer tutor or an aide", "Peer Tutors are supposed to represent a trainer for a job. If you refuse training then you're going to get fired". I brought it up again during my yearly IEP which took place in March. Once again my teacher said no, bringing up another excuse. As far as I can remember, my parents were neutral about the aide situation. Later one peer tutor was removed, what happened is that the peer tutor moved to a different town and they didn't bother on sending a substitute. A win is a win so I celebrated it. At the end of my freshman year I was pretty much defeated and didn't achieve the goal of being 100% independent. Over the summer I took a look at my situation and decided that my current plan is not working. I knew that when my sophomore year of high school starts I will have aides and peer tutors in classes. I knew that if I wanted to get what I wanted I would have to do something big. I knew that I would have to put up a fight, and put in a lot more effort. Over the summer I developed a war mindset inspired by two quotes from Sun Tzu:
"Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win”
“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”
I knew that I can't be going into sophomore year blind, so I started drafting a plan. I created a Google doc outlining my goals and what I wanted to accomplish. I knew that I won't be able to win every battle and that I need to choose which fight is worth fighting for. I thought to myself, “Well the peer tutors we're given training on the first day of school and probably have strategies to deal with poor behavior but what about planned well organized protests?” So I began researching strategies on how paraprofessionals/peer tutors dealt with negative behavior and reverse engineered those tactics. I read forms, I Watched YouTube videos and found as much information that I could find. For the peer tutors I didn't know too much about them. I didn't know if it was something that only my school did or if other schools did it. I did some research and found out that other schools had a peer tutor program and some have uploaded training videos on YouTube. Some peer tutors told me that they did babysitting and did nanny work so I looked up babysitting tips. I reverse engineered all of those tactics and came up with strategies to counter those techniques and put all that information that I learned into a google doc that I can use for future reference. During this time I also researched how to become a better negotiator and started learning a little bit of psychology. The plan was to first negotiate and if that doesn't work I will protest and make demands and negotiate. Over the summer I got really good at negotiating and practiced a lot on my father and my sister (they were totally oblivious). To this day I use those negotiating tactics. After I created my document and was satisfied with all the information, I went to bed that night and knew that I have already won and that my sophomore year will be my last year that I 1-1 peer tutor or aide.
Fast forward to the first day of school, as expected I had peer tutors and aides assigned to me in classes. My sped teacher had a chalkboard On the back wall full of sticky notes that had everyone's schedules and a name of someone was assigned to that student for each class. This time around I only had one peer tutor outside of the special ed classes. This is a big improvement over the three I had before but I still have my original goal of having none. For the paraprofessionals I had 2 in Gen classes.The goal was to first remove the peer tutors then the paraprofessionals. Even though this seems to be an improvement I continued with the plan. Since this was the first day, the peer tutors were in another classroom learning policies and other stuff they needed to know so I was alone for the day. I walked over to my special ed teacher and ask him one final time to remove the peer tutor he says no and then I asked him to let me be alone for 2 weeks so I can prove I don't need help and he still denies me. I then tell him that I will allow the peer tutor for 2 weeks and after that she needs to go. My teacher doesn't respond. (To add context the peer tutor that I had, she was a peer tutor in my math class in the prior semester so I already know who she was. We used to talk a lot and was surprised when I saw that she was assigned to me.)
For 2 weeks she mostly left me alone with her occasionally checking up on me. For those 2 weeks I purposely close my self off and adopted a body language that would subconsciously discourage her from approaching me. I did this by keeping my head low and staying as focused as possible. The only thing she did was confront me when I start packing up 2 minutes before the bell rings. She tells me that I shouldn't be packing up and to pull my stuff out again. I tell her no and hold my ground. She writes in my planner that I packed my stuff up early and refuse to pull it out. That happened like 2 or 3 times. On Thursday on the second week my class was tasked to create a PowerPoint. FYI this was a mythology class, while I was doing this PowerPoint I decided instead of manually trying to type in the locations and people from this mythology which the names were very long and complicated. I decided would be easier just to copy and paste them in. My peer tutor sees me doing this and doesn't say anything. At the end of class she writes that I plagiarized in my planner and tells my special ed teacher in person what happened. My sped teacher pulls me out of class (I had his math class right after mythology) and starts telling me that my peer tutor has seen me copy and pasting paragraphs and goes on this lecturing on why plagiarizing is bad. I explained to him that I wasn't copying paragraphs It was only copying names and locations and explain my reason for it. He didn't believe me but he didn't make me retake the assignment. After that I was pissed off and the next day I confronted her about it. I forgot what her reasoning for not telling me was but I told her that she needs to look into things before she makes false reports. After that incident, I decided to wait a week before I ask my teacher to remove her. Also during those first 3 weeks I turned down help from peer tutors and paras if possible In the special ed classroom. I did this to prevent sending any mix signals. I personally didn't mind if I had to work with a peer tutopara or not In the actual sped classroom. I only cared if it was in any of the general education classes. I just thought it would look contradictory if I was accepting help in the sped class and then requesting peer tutors to be removed from my gen classes.
At the beginning of the fourth week I went to school early and went to my sped teacher's class before first hour starts and then I again asked him to remove the peer tutor and the paraprofessionals. He says no again and brings up that I was being academically dishonest by plagiarizing. I tell my side of the story once again on what happened and he still doesn't believe me. At this point I leave and more pissed off. At this point negotiations didn't work so I started small protests by preventing the peer tutors from filling out my planer and the behavioral checklist. Most of them didn't care since there was other students they can fill out and they only need to fill out one to be graded for the day. One peer tutor gave me the puppy dog eye treatment and I eventually cave and let her fill it out. I still let the one peer tutor that was assigned to me in the gen class due to me being the only student and my intention wasn't to ruin, her grade. During the fourth week I began brainstorming ideas on how I can do a massive protest.
On Thursday of the fourth week of school, a walk into the mythology class and it started out like any other day. Class started and my teacher starts talking. I pull up my phone to respond to some messages and my peer tutor sees me. She asks me to hand my phone over to her and I tell her no. She tells me that I can't be on my phone and I tell her okay but I'm still not giving it to you. She then pulls out her phone and puts it on the table. She then tells me to put my phone on the table. I tell her no again. A few minutes past and the teacher finishes up talking. She passes the assignment and immediately my peer tutor begins to try and help by reading the questions. I slide the packet over closer to me and start ignoring her. I was hoping that she will get the hint and leave me alone. She doesn't so put on my hoodie and tried to mentally block her out. I don't remember what she said during all this since I was blocking it out but I do remember her touching me and the general ed teacher coming over and start assisting the peer tutor. It was a lot of pressure and I was actually about to give up because it was too much. But they both gaved up before I did and I was very relieved. After that, the class was pretty much quiet. The peer tutor wrote an entire paragraph on what happened. I walked to my math class and sat down. I then see my peer tutor walking into class and ask for my sped teacher. I already knew it was about me. I see them talk for 2 minutes and sure enough I see my teacher calling me over. I walked outside the classroom and me and the teacher begin to go at it. We end up saying the same things we have said before. However, my teacher this time mentioned that if I keep up my behavior that he's going to call in a meeting with my parents. The rest of math class was pretty much the same. However, my English class with the same teacher he went on a rant about using accommodations seeing that he had a disability growing up which was tourette's and he were love to have a peer tutor. I was quiet for the whole class since I was already exhausted because of everything else that had already happened. For the rest of the weekend, I've been coming up with plans on how I would be able to pull off a massive protest.
Now for the good news. On the fifth week of school, I noticed that my peer tutor was missing. My teacher pulled me aside again and told me that he decided that he was going to pull her for 2 weeks to see how well I would do without her. I told him thank you, that's what I wanted since the beginning of the school year. After those 2 weeks he didn't reinstate her and I didn't have a peer tutor or paraprofessionals in gen classes since. The deal moving forward was as long as I had a D or better he wasn't going to send any support unless I asked for it. My relationship with that sped teacher also had improved significantly. Later in my Junior year of high school I ran in my school's election and won. I was given the social media position.
In hindsight, I'm glad I didn't have to pull off a big protest. But the same time I wish that this situation could have ended in a different way.
Everything that I just told you is only the tip of the iceberg. There's so much detail that I had to leave out just to make this story shorter. Lot of it I'm still processing even though I found great strength in myself fighting back against a system that I believe was ruining my life. That war mindset hasn't left my mentality yet. I'm still dealing with the consequences of me being in special ed. Everything I told you happened 5 years ago and I'm still living through it like it just happened. I'm mentally recovering and eventually I will recover. Right now I'm in therapy and I'm writing down everything I can in a Google doc to process everything emotionally. Maybe one day I'll give that story to a writer and make a book out of it.
If you have any questions feel free ask them, I would love to answer them.
submitted by LoganWY to specialeducation [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 16:15 Virtual_Mode_5026 The Spirited Away Connection

I don’t think “Chihiro” is fully about the film, but just uses analogies to the film as a reference to something in Billie’s personal life that she feels resonates with her whenever she watches it.
However I’ll point out what I think these references are.
“Said you won’t forget my name” In the film, the antagonist, Yubaba claims ownership of people who work for her in the Bathhouse by taking their names from them and assigning them new ones.
They can no longer remember their old names (Chihiro, Kohaku) and now go by the ones Yubaba wants. (Sen, Haku, Lin/Rin, Kamaji)
When Haku brings her old clothes to her to keep safe, they have her real name and a farewell card from a friend on it which still has her real name.
This way she can’t forget.
When she remembers she fell into the Kohaku River (before it was drained) as a toddler, a dragon (Haku) saved her.
She reveals to him that his name is the Kohaku River, because as a River God, he is the Kohaku River and the boy and the dragon are just more tangible forms it takes.
So now she’s freed him and he remembers he wasn’t always a just a spirit. His river, he was drained and died and ended up in the Spirit World.
“And that’s when you found me. I was waiting in the garden. Contemplating, beg your pardon.”
There is a scene where after Chihiro gets overwhelmed, visiting her parents in the pig pen, she runs out into a garden. She sits down in front of a flower wall of rhododendrons and others.
Probably worrying about her parents and how she could find a way to fix it.
Haku finds her and gives her the clothes.
“But there’s a part of me that recognises you. Do you feel it too?”
This is mutual. Haku has lost his identity, but he does know that he’s known Chihiro since she was very small.
Chihiro also later remembers Haku as the dragon that saved her later on.
There’s also mentions of “opening up the door.”
Doorways and entrances are symbolic in the film. Which is fitting for the album cover.
She enters a new realm-The Spirit World and the door to the Bathhouse, the elevator, Yubaba’s office, the Shoji door for the sleeping quarters, Zeniba’s cottage are all entrances to “realms within a realm”.
There are others I think I’m missing, perhaps someone else can fill in the bits I missed.
submitted by Virtual_Mode_5026 to billieeilish [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 16:12 LoganWY How I self-advocated (Long story no TL:DR)

Today I want to tell my story of how I self-advocated and what I did to achieve that goal. I'm telling my story to help those who are in a similar position to what I was in and to inspire those to self-advocate.
To recap from my earlier posts. I have ADHD and fell under the "multiple disabilities" characterization. My high school teacher claimed that I have autism (Not diagnosed). I personally don't believe I have autism or at the very least I have a high functioning autism. Throughout most of my school career, I was in a self-contained classroom with kids with severe disabilities. Even if I was in the general population I had a paraprofessional or peer tutor. I never believed that I should have been in that position. As a consequence, I never really learned any social skills, I was segregated, and felt like that people didn't want anything to do with me because I was sped. The reason why I ended up in this position was probably a combination of me having the "multiple disabilities'' characterization and me testing low in three year revaluation tests. If you want more info on this then feel free to search my profile. This is an alt account and is primarily used to ask questions about special ed so It's really easy to find stuff about me.
Before I get into my story I just want to make it clear that I'm not against special ed. There's good and bad people in every profession. I believed I was in danger for myself and for my future. I don't believe that my teacher was evil and had the best of intentions but he was putting me in a position that was hurting me and I had to act. If you have any questions or feedback feel free to let me know in the comments. Another thing is that this post has been really hard to make. It opened up some old wounds and as a result took several days to write.
Here's my story: So in late middle school I was tired of the placement that I was in. I was tired of not having friends, Not being able to socialize with my peers, not being able to date. I also was thinking about what my life will look like after high school, I was concerned that I was going to never have friends, Never be in a relationship, and not have the social skills to make those friends. I was generally very concerned for my future. So I decided that for my 8th grade year (2017-2018) I would do my absolute best for both my behavior and academics. Throughout the year nothing changed. I was hoping that me doing well would show that I didn't need any support but at the end of the year I still had paraprofessionals in most of my classes and was being pulled out for tests. In the summer between middle school and high school all I can think about is I want high school to be different. I wanted friends, I wanted a relationship, and I had dreams of me in the student council. When I got into high school I had peer tutors along with paraprofessionals (Peer Tutors are general ed students who sign up as an elective to help special needs kids. They basically serve the role as paraprofessionals with less responsibility). I did everything again and had the exact same result. In January of 2019 (freshmen year) I decided that my current strategy wasn't working. They also started making the peer tutors fill out behavioral checklists for their student(s) by grading them on how well they behaved/followed directions and gave them badges that say "peer tutor" which made me feel singled out. Because of that the peer tutors felt more like babysitters then someone that is an equal. So I went to my special ed teacher and asked him to remove the paraprofessional and the peer tutors. He told me no and said that I needed them. I changed my strategy again and I was going to ask for the Peer Tutors to be gone first, then focus on removing the paraprofessionals. I was more concerned about the peer tutors over the paraprofessionals because I was concerned that since they were part of the student body that this was going to affect me when I was running for the student council. I was worried that they'd tell others I was special needs then people would think I was incompetent. So every 2 weeks I would ask him again to remove them and each time he would give me a different excuse on why I couldn't be alone. Here's some of the excuses he gave me: "The peer tutors need to be there to collect data", "You need to prove that you can do the work yourself", "It's not up to me. It's the general education teacher that decides if you need a peer tutor or an aide", "Peer Tutors are supposed to represent a trainer for a job. If you refuse training then you're going to get fired". I brought it up again during my yearly IEP which took place in March. Once again my teacher said no, bringing up another excuse. As far as I can remember, my parents were neutral about the aide situation. Later one peer tutor was removed, what happened is that the peer tutor moved to a different town and they didn't bother on sending a substitute. A win is a win so I celebrated it. At the end of my freshman year I was pretty much defeated and didn't achieve the goal of being 100% independent. Over the summer I took a look at my situation and decided that my current plan is not working. I knew that when my sophomore year of high school starts I will have aides and peer tutors in classes. I knew that if I wanted to get what I wanted I would have to do something big. I knew that I would have to put up a fight, and put in a lot more effort. Over the summer I developed a war mindset inspired by two quotes from Sun Tzu:
"Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win”
“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”
I knew that I can't be going into sophomore year blind, so I started drafting a plan. I created a Google doc outlining my goals and what I wanted to accomplish. I knew that I won't be able to win every battle and that I need to choose which fight is worth fighting for. I thought to myself, “Well the peer tutors we're given training on the first day of school and probably have strategies to deal with poor behavior but what about planned well organized protests?” So I began researching strategies on how paraprofessionals/peer tutors dealt with negative behavior and reverse engineered those tactics. I read forms, I Watched YouTube videos and found as much information that I could find. For the peer tutors I didn't know too much about them. I didn't know if it was something that only my school did or if other schools did it. I did some research and found out that other schools had a peer tutor program and some have uploaded training videos on YouTube. Some peer tutors told me that they did babysitting and did nanny work so I looked up babysitting tips. I reverse engineered all of those tactics and came up with strategies to counter those techniques and put all that information that I learned into a google doc that I can use for future reference. During this time I also researched how to become a better negotiator and started learning a little bit of psychology. The plan was to first negotiate and if that doesn't work I will protest and make demands and negotiate. Over the summer I got really good at negotiating and practiced a lot on my father and my sister (they were totally oblivious). To this day I use those negotiating tactics. After I created my document and was satisfied with all the information, I went to bed that night and knew that I have already won and that my sophomore year will be my last year that I 1-1 peer tutor or aide.
Fast forward to the first day of school, as expected I had peer tutors and aides assigned to me in classes. My sped teacher had a chalkboard On the back wall full of sticky notes that had everyone's schedules and a name of someone was assigned to that student for each class. This time around I only had one peer tutor outside of the special ed classes. This is a big improvement over the three I had before but I still have my original goal of having none. For the paraprofessionals I had 2 in Gen classes.The goal was to first remove the peer tutors then the paraprofessionals. Even though this seems to be an improvement I continued with the plan. Since this was the first day, the peer tutors were in another classroom learning policies and other stuff they needed to know so I was alone for the day. I walked over to my special ed teacher and ask him one final time to remove the peer tutor he says no and then I asked him to let me be alone for 2 weeks so I can prove I don't need help and he still denies me. I then tell him that I will allow the peer tutor for 2 weeks and after that she needs to go. My teacher doesn't respond. (To add context the peer tutor that I had, she was a peer tutor in my math class in the prior semester so I already know who she was. We used to talk a lot and was surprised when I saw that she was assigned to me.)
For 2 weeks she mostly left me alone with her occasionally checking up on me. For those 2 weeks I purposely close my self off and adopted a body language that would subconsciously discourage her from approaching me. I did this by keeping my head low and staying as focused as possible. The only thing she did was confront me when I start packing up 2 minutes before the bell rings. She tells me that I shouldn't be packing up and to pull my stuff out again. I tell her no and hold my ground. She writes in my planner that I packed my stuff up early and refuse to pull it out. That happened like 2 or 3 times. On Thursday on the second week my class was tasked to create a PowerPoint. FYI this was a mythology class, while I was doing this PowerPoint I decided instead of manually trying to type in the locations and people from this mythology which the names were very long and complicated. I decided would be easier just to copy and paste them in. My peer tutor sees me doing this and doesn't say anything. At the end of class she writes that I plagiarized in my planner and tells my special ed teacher in person what happened. My sped teacher pulls me out of class (I had his math class right after mythology) and starts telling me that my peer tutor has seen me copy and pasting paragraphs and goes on this lecturing on why plagiarizing is bad. I explained to him that I wasn't copying paragraphs It was only copying names and locations and explain my reason for it. He didn't believe me but he didn't make me retake the assignment. After that I was pissed off and the next day I confronted her about it. I forgot what her reasoning for not telling me was but I told her that she needs to look into things before she makes false reports. After that incident, I decided to wait a week before I ask my teacher to remove her. Also during those first 3 weeks I turned down help from peer tutors and paras if possible In the special ed classroom. I did this to prevent sending any mix signals. I personally didn't mind if I had to work with a peer tutopara or not In the actual sped classroom. I only cared if it was in any of the general education classes. I just thought it would look contradictory if I was accepting help in the sped class and then requesting peer tutors to be removed from my gen classes.
At the beginning of the fourth week I went to school early and went to my sped teacher's class before first hour starts and then I again asked him to remove the peer tutor and the paraprofessionals. He says no again and brings up that I was being academically dishonest by plagiarizing. I tell my side of the story once again on what happened and he still doesn't believe me. At this point I leave and more pissed off. At this point negotiations didn't work so I started small protests by preventing the peer tutors from filling out my planer and the behavioral checklist. Most of them didn't care since there was other students they can fill out and they only need to fill out one to be graded for the day. One peer tutor gave me the puppy dog eye treatment and I eventually cave and let her fill it out. I still let the one peer tutor that was assigned to me in the gen class due to me being the only student and my intention wasn't to ruin, her grade. During the fourth week I began brainstorming ideas on how I can do a massive protest.
On Thursday of the fourth week of school, a walk into the mythology class and it started out like any other day. Class started and my teacher starts talking. I pull up my phone to respond to some messages and my peer tutor sees me. She asks me to hand my phone over to her and I tell her no. She tells me that I can't be on my phone and I tell her okay but I'm still not giving it to you. She then pulls out her phone and puts it on the table. She then tells me to put my phone on the table. I tell her no again. A few minutes past and the teacher finishes up talking. She passes the assignment and immediately my peer tutor begins to try and help by reading the questions. I slide the packet over closer to me and start ignoring her. I was hoping that she will get the hint and leave me alone. She doesn't so put on my hoodie and tried to mentally block her out. I don't remember what she said during all this since I was blocking it out but I do remember her touching me and the general ed teacher coming over and start assisting the peer tutor. It was a lot of pressure and I was actually about to give up because it was too much. But they both gaved up before I did and I was very relieved. After that, the class was pretty much quiet. The peer tutor wrote an entire paragraph on what happened. I walked to my math class and sat down. I then see my peer tutor walking into class and ask for my sped teacher. I already knew it was about me. I see them talk for 2 minutes and sure enough I see my teacher calling me over. I walked outside the classroom and me and the teacher begin to go at it. We end up saying the same things we have said before. However, my teacher this time mentioned that if I keep up my behavior that he's going to call in a meeting with my parents. The rest of math class was pretty much the same. However, my English class with the same teacher he went on a rant about using accommodations seeing that he had a disability growing up which was tourette's and he were love to have a peer tutor. I was quiet for the whole class since I was already exhausted because of everything else that had already happened. For the rest of the weekend, I've been coming up with plans on how I would be able to pull off a massive protest.
Now for the good news. On the fifth week of school, I noticed that my peer tutor was missing. My teacher pulled me aside again and told me that he decided that he was going to pull her for 2 weeks to see how well I would do without her. I told him thank you, that's what I wanted since the beginning of the school year. After those 2 weeks he didn't reinstate her and I didn't have a peer tutor or paraprofessionals in gen classes since. The deal moving forward was as long as I had a D or better he wasn't going to send any support unless I asked for it. My relationship with that sped teacher also had improved significantly. Later in my Junior year of high school I ran in my school's election and won. I was given the social media position.
In hindsight, I'm glad I didn't have to pull off a big protest. But the same time I wish that this situation could have ended in a different way.
Everything that I just told you is only the tip of the iceberg. There's so much detail that I had to leave out just to make this story shorter. Lot of it I'm still processing even though I found great strength in myself fighting back against a system that I believe was ruining my life. That war mindset hasn't left my mentality yet. I'm still dealing with the consequences of me being in special ed. Everything I told you happened 5 years ago and I'm still living through it like it just happened. I'm mentally recovering and eventually I will recover. Right now I'm in therapy and I'm writing down everything I can in a Google doc to process everything emotionally. Maybe one day I'll give that story to a writer and make a book out of it.
If you have any questions feel free ask them, I would love to answer them.
submitted by LoganWY to specialed [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 16:10 Pen_Paladin Administrative Leave Due to Student Complaints

CW: Mention of self-h, a-bus
A close colleague is on administrative leave while under investigation over claims made directly after reprimanding a student for disruption and violating the school honor code. Some claims have merit (self-h*rm comments, mention of firearms ownership as a hunter), and others baseless (inappropriate comments about female students' appearances, comments threatening harm upon students). He's had a visibly rough second semester due to outside factors, involving personal deaths and dealing with abuses at home, and has since let his classroom management deteriorate.
Unfortunately, I've seen how a majority of his students use his weakened state as an opportunity to walk all over him; they violating district policies, disrespect him, and now it's come to a head. Last week, he decided to put his foot down for the first time in the semester, and told two girls (habitual problem-starters and EXTREMELY pampered), informing them that he would change their seats if they continued to talk over him. The worst of the two was also caught that day plagiarizing one of his assignments and reprimanded, though not reported as he felt it appropriate to let her off with a warning.
The next day, Friday, he was called to the office before his 3rd block classes. He said his AP was approached by two girls who reported feeling uncomfortable due to things he would say in class, such as overshare his mental state through making jabs at self-h*rming himself (which I've heard him do in the workroom, as well, the sort of "this makes me wanna just _____" comments not unusual to hear as a response to high stress and depression), to which he said his AP (and mine, she's incredibly supportive of teachers, though hopefully not just vocally) was sympathetic. She recommended he set up an appointment with the employee assistance program and possibly seek counseling, to which he agreed. The next items regarded a story he often shares about meeting his neighbor through hunting weapons (we live in a sub-rural area where hunting is a prolific topic), supposedly threatening to "bash a kid's head into a brick wall" in response to the plagiarism earlier mentioned, when he admitted he said he said that about his own head, something he's said a lot before. Lastly, he was accused of making inappropriate comments regarding female students' appearances, which no one can substantiate, and it seems this was featured because "male teacher = g-word" seems like a free space to claim.
He's rightfully freaked out, as am I, because we both teach very similarly and with the same style, with a sort of "big brother" vibe that's never been a problem, but rather very appreciated by both parents and students alike. He did mention how the admin made a big point about "saying things which could get misconstrued", but he said she was very stern but understanding in her demeanor, even sharing her experience in mourning and still showing up for school as a way to cope. He also said she talked extensively about having "healthy teachers in the classroom", which I believe is code for "we're going to make sure you're just in mourning and not actually going to do anything permanent". We're both on our fourth year of teaching, and our state uses the "continuing contract" system, so we're both unsure how tenure works or if there's protections at all in this state.
Does he have cause to worry for his livelihood, or is this a common, albeit brutal, occurrence for teachers today? I don't think he's registered with the state representation (we're in Virginia), as most of us newer teachers still don't have much wiggle room to afford many biweekly deductions, but I'm nervously optimistic. I'm asking this for my benefit as well, as we teach very similarly to one another, and the last thing I want is for a Children of the Corn situation to arise after.... well, trying to maintain classroom order in any way. Needless to say, this alone is taking the wind out of my sails in regards to continuing in this field, which I loved before this year, and I know for a fact he's having second thoughts, more so, probably.
Tl;dr: Colleague on continuing contract is on administrative leave pending an investigation due to comments made after he reprimanded two students for disruption and honor code violation. Seems retaliatory, though he and I are worried for his future in teaching.
submitted by Pen_Paladin to Teachers [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 16:06 arno14x My biggest dream - is it even possible?

I am 16 years old and I live in constant stress. Whenever I try to change my life something not caused by me fails my efforts - expectations of my parents, school (I am not bullied for sure but rather taken by quiet and weird even by teachers and people make fun of me), health problems. I am not intrested in things like other people my age so most of them take me as nerd.
I am completly tired of todays world and society and I dream very much about having small house somewhere where it is warm (like spain or greece) at outskirts of town and just enjoy life. I am intrested in crypto and even already earned some money from it so maybe it will be enough for living like that. What do you think about it and do u have any advices for me?
submitted by arno14x to simpleliving [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 16:03 deja_vu_999 How to unattract girls

So I'm (17M) in 12th and came to my hometown to attend my dummy achool for the first time. Went there with a friend (17M). Just 5 mins into the class, don't know anyone, any teacher, roll or even our sections, this girl calls me from my right and starts a convo. Okay.
Then in the physics lab, she comes like "really" close my me, kinda rubs her boobs with my elbows and says "two of my friends like you" I was like "OKAY?" and then she proceedes "btw I too like you"
Talked with her and she asked me out, so i said "okay, but i cant ensure anything" and ohh boy, this girl becomes more and more annoying and creepy as we talk. My friend was third wheeling and heard our convos, and just said "bro, run away from her"😭
Yesterday I went to school for project related queries on behalf of our complete group (lol) and this girl is again there. She tells me things like "you wont leave me right?" "I love you so much"
And she tries ever to seduce me and was even down for sex!! She even tried kissing me but i slid aside and ahe started crying
Now Im just afraid she doesnt do something serious if I straight up tell her i cant. Actually i said, but she doesnt listen. Please suggest what to do guys, im literally afraid of going to that school now💀💀
How the fuck should I unattract her?! She's so delusional and creepy.
Also, our religions contrast (uk what we are). I tried explaining her but she doesnt listen. No hate to other religions, i even had a such gf before and it ended up pretty bad with our parents involving.
submitted by deja_vu_999 to IndianTeenagers [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:56 vegeta-sama- Please help me choose one path for managing two summer internships at NIT and IIIT

myquals: I am in 4th sem giving end sem exams, I am from a tier 2 engineering college. I applied for various summer internships at iit/nit/iiit, I got into 2 one nit(old but not top 10 ig) and iiit(new one)
I will tell you the difference between them. In iiit has a very good educational background mtech from tier 1 college, PhD from tier 1 iit, in nit the teacher doesn't have that good of a educational background compared to the other. Yes it doesn't matter much but still just saying. In iiit I get to work on cloud computing which is the area of work I want to lean towards. In nit I will be working with iot a topic I'm not very interested in. Both internship are not paying me anything. Nit has charges for taking up the internship but iiit is not taking or giving any money.
PATH 1 : Choose any one and go for them. The thing is I don't want to give up either opportunity.
PATH 2 : Go for iiit offline, work in interested area, go for nit online option and work parallel. I don't know how feasible this is, acc to parents this option can be achievable. I need to make the dates a little flexible so that both internships don't superimpose each other. Only if I can convince the teacher at nit.
PATH 3 : Go for nit offline and iiit online, but I had got selected for iiit before and already made hostel arrangements etc there for my accommodation I can't really backout for online, but still an option.
PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME OUT, I NEED TO MAKE THE DECISION BEFORE MIDNIGHT OF 20TH MAY.
submitted by vegeta-sama- to Indian_Academia [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:53 vegeta-sama- Please help me choose one path for managing two summer internship offers at NIT and IIIT

I am in 4th sem giving end sem exams, I am from a tier 2 engineering college. I applied for various summer internships at iit/nit/iiit, I got into 2 one nit(old but not top 10 ig) and iiit(new one)
I will tell you the difference between them. In iiit has a very good educational background mtech from tier 1 college, PhD from tier 1 iit, in nit the teacher doesn't have that good of a educational background compared to the other. Yes it doesn't matter much but still just saying. In iiit I get to work on cloud computing which is the area of work I want to lean towards. In nit I will be working with iot a topic I'm not very interested in. Both internship are not paying me anything. Nit has charges for taking up the internship but iiit is not taking or giving any money.
PATH 1 : Choose any one and go for them. The thing is I don't want to give up either opportunity.
PATH 2 : Go for iiit offline, work in interested area, go for nit online option and work parallel. I don't know how feasible this is, acc to parents this option can be achievable. I need to make the dates a little flexible so that both internships don't superimpose each other. Only if I can convince the teacher at nit.
PATH 3 : Go for nit offline and iiit online, but I had got selected for iiit before and already made hostel arrangements etc there for my accommodation I can't really backout for online, but still an option.
PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME OUT, I NEED TO MAKE THE DECISION BEFORE MIDNIGHT OF 20TH MAY.
submitted by vegeta-sama- to Btechtards [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:48 Additional-Cod-2099 my dad told me he dreamt of me committing suicide

f16 and last year was my worst fucking year ever. i was bed rotting, didnt come to school, didnt come out of my room and house, and was being neglected by my parents for an entire year. They had a divorce a while back and it made them avoid each other to the point none of them would step foot in the house to check up on 15 year old me.
i remember i tried to off myself countless of times because i was frustrated and upset that my parents wouldn’t come home. i was starving for countless of days. i’d try overdosing, jumping off my apartment building and water boarding myself. they all failed because i’d end up having a mental breakdown.
i was worried about my future after missing school for so long, the teachers told me i had to retake the grade the next year. I lost all my friends and even my best friend who knew i was struggling, Everyone ghosted me when i was at my lowest.
the next year the divorce finally settled. my parents finally took care of me and spoiled me a bunch after they got over their marriage.
last night my dad was on a call with his sister when i overheard him saying that he dreamt of me committing suicide by jumping off a building a year ago. he went to a priest and prayed for me. does this mean dreams have some sort of spiritual connection? because he was never once home last year and had no idea what i was dealing with on my own. and if the dream made him go to a priest why couldn’t he come to me?
submitted by Additional-Cod-2099 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:39 foxermate Constant introspection/self questioning OCD?

Disclaimer: I’m not seeking a diagnosis, just looking for advice on how to approach this, what my next steps might look like.
In order for this to make sense, I’ll give my full story so far in this battle:
First thing to note is that after some traumatic emotional abuse experiences at a young age at school from a teacher, I developed what at the time looked like extreme health anxiety. While I was so young that I can’t consciously go back and remember how it felt, I know and have been told that I was generally extremely anxious about health-related stuff, and the most extreme of these was that I thought there was/might poison in my food because I had read about a poisonous frog, and had concluded that there was a slim chance that somehow the poison from the frog could end up in my food somehow, and this led me to not eating and becoming malnourished for a short time, but this changed because my parents locked me in a room until I agreed to eat as an extreme measure once I was becoming dangerously underweight. Just wanted to write that in case it’s relevant, but my more recent experiences are what’s most important.
The first time I EVER noticed obsessive thoughts was when I first tripped acid (note that I absolutely do not do this anymore lmao), and the obsessive thoughts were about me being a sociopath. It was like “am I a sociopath? I’m always so in my head and overthinking things and wondering what the right way to do things is and I don’t know what I actually feel like doing?
Anyway, that trip ended and I kind of just let it be for a little less than a year. Then I entered a romantic relationship. This was also the first ever relationship in my life where I felt like I could fully trust the other person with absolutely anything. But about a month in, I started to notice that I was really getting in my head about whether I loved her or not, whether I was just faking it, wondering who I really was and am I just some sort of autopilot chameleon. I would overthink so much every time there was vulnerability cause I had thoughts like I was either unequipped to deal with her vulnerability, or like I wasn’t capable of it and that made me defective. This led me to IFS therapy focused on trauma. While I have no doubt there are things to be found there, and I do see value in that work, I’m starting to wonder if it’s doing more harm than good as I’ll soon explain.
Fast forward a year later and ive had a lot of shit go down at once, had to leave family home abruptly, relationship is being strained by my mental health. I still suffer from health anxiety and get fixated on things like my pulse/breathing and feeling like my heart is going to stop/like I can’t get enough air in. After experiencing practically constant panic level anxiety for 3 days straight while on a tour (im a musician), I had a full nervous breakdown and ended up in hospital. At the time, it was like I was worried about literally anything making me anxious, which of course made me anxious. I was taking posters off of my walls because I couldn’t stop thinking “what if I don’t really actually like these posters and they’re just there cause I feel like they should be and I’m just doing what I think I’m supposed to instead of what I want, what do I want…?” Etc.
That was 2 months ago. The hospital stay was a constantly terrifying experience of being fixated on my heart and worrying about it being too high, which of course made it so. I got out of hospital, briefly got better and had a couple weeks where everything honestly seemed fine and then fell straight back in following a panic attack while out with a friend. Since then things have been up and down but generally pretty constant. I had to break up with my girlfriend because my mental health was putting too much strain on her, and my constant being in my head around her thinking “am I actually being genuine, or am I just making up what I think I’m supposed to be doing” was also worsening my own struggle.
Upon leaving her, I fully committed to healing and at that time was fully convinced I was dealing with trauma which was causing me to bury emotions and feel inadequate. I became OBSESSED with it. Obsessed with identifying emotions, understanding why they were there, and trying to link things back to this aspect or that aspect of trauma. That was 4 weeks ago, and I’m reaching a really horrible point. I’m at a point now where I’m obsessively thinking about EVERYTHING in an existential kind of way, trying to “work out” my brain. It’s really difficult to describe, but to give a couple glimpses, even as I write this I’m wondering “am I making this up?” And my obsessions become “meta” in a sense, where I’ll start obsessing over understanding/working out the obsessions, and then doing that again and again, like infinite layers of obsession.
I feel trapped by these obsessions, because they completely rob me of my ability to feel definitive about literally anything. My mind has gotten so good at questioning even the most mundane of things that I can’t go a minute without questioning my actions/feelings/obsessively thinking. It stops me from participating in IFS because IFS is so self-led and I just find myself questioning things all the time, less so in sessions but outside of them. And the concept of IFS and understanding the roots of trauma has become such an obsession in and of itself that I’m starting to wonder if it’s doing more harm than good for me right now. Even now I’m obsessing over whether or not what I’m saying is correct/valid or if I’m just making it up. It’s like I’m constantly gaslighting myself. And I keep adding to this out of thinking that I haven’t quite explained it right yet.
Even what I’ve written here doesn’t encapsulate the depth of obsessive introspection that I’m in. I literally do not find fulfilment in anything anymore and find some satisfaction only in things like journaling, therapy, self-help books, videos about it, and in thinking about it constantly. It’s like it’s the only thing my brain is interested in anymore.
While I’m not asking anyone if I have OCD or not, I’ll seek out a professional diagnosis for that, I am wondering desperately about what approach I might take for myself if it becomes apparent that it is OCD. I’ve NEVER heard of anything like this before and I don’t know how to break this cycle, and I don’t understand what the compulsion side of things would be for me if this was OCD. And now I’m thinking obsessively about trying to work out what my obsessions/compulsions might be! I’m trying to change things up by just observing my thoughts as what they are but even then I can become obsessive about wondering if the observation of thought is a thought and then observing that etc.
And if so, then someone who’s seen or experienced this PLEASE tell me I have hope to be different, to be able to live life and find fulfilment again. It’s like I’m in an infinitely deep hole and can’t find my way out. If there is ANY advice that anyone can give about this, then I’ll take it.
submitted by foxermate to OCD [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:37 Party-Intention5304 Handling dancers that want “louder” every song…

I’m a music tech teacher at a high school and do sound for the dance program. The dance teachers constantly want everything louder than the last song, especially when more than one dance teacher has their kids performing. I’m taking measurements mid- audience and it’s easily 85-90db, and 110db peak…. And they want more. And we’re gonna be there for 2 hours.
I can tell ear fatigue sets in and they (teachers and students) are amped up and not thinking about the effect on their perception. To be fair - they’ve got a lot going on with watching kids, costumes, lunch schedule, etc.
Another reason they may ask is because maybe their expectations are off - a hip-hop number with big bass right before a gentler ballet with delicate guitar introduction is always going to see a drop in level. They immediately complain it’s too quiet.
Meanwhile, thank god it’s just a DJ deck for most of the show because as soon as someone turns on a mic to welcome parents I’m sitting on a razor’s edge managing feedback and getting dirty looks for not “turn her up so everyone can hear”.
No one is going anywhere… How do you handle talking to/educating others about volume issues?
In case anyone is wondering, The rig is a DJ deck into a Yamaha dm3 into two EV ZLX15 powered speakers and one stage monitor. Minimal and ‘portable’. Shure wireless mics for welcome and farewell address.
submitted by Party-Intention5304 to audioengineering [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:36 Voinar 28 yo feel like a wasted my life

I am 28 years old, Italian, lucky enough to be born and lived in a beautiful Italian city. My family has some savings and my parents are apprently in good health (i feel like i don't deserve these fortunes). The problem is me. My adolescence was a disaster, my father has always been limiting and overprotective, i sufferend from social isolation, video game addiction, physical dysmorphia, severe acne and bullying. I was left and cheated by my first and only girlfriend at the age of 20 and during the same year I had a long lasting physical problem that resulted in OCD, this led to another 3 years of social isolation and worsening of my psycho-physical state. After three years I meet a girl who infected me with a bacterium and molluscum contagiosum and then two another years of covid. 25 years old. I graduated in something i later discovered I have no interest in (bacherol degree) at the age of 27, two weeks later I went to a psychiatrist who diagnoses me with autism and ADHD. I havent noticed any benefits from therapy (I will met a new psychiatrist on tuesday). During this year i attempted some jobs but I never felt like i fit in. I have traveled very little, i spent 70% of my life in my room, I have attended few parties, I have a principle of social anxiety, I am addicted to social media and cannabis and I still live with my parents.
The only thing I have managed to do in 28 years are: improve my muscle mass through physical training, teach myself to play guitar, overcome the fear of driving a car, meet some girls (I have had sex with 5 girls in my life), find out the roots of my mental problems, forgive my father for his behavior while I was growing up.
I don't know what to do with my life. I feel lost. I feel old. The weight of time, the feelings of guilt towards my parents and my loved ones and the fear of the future are destroying my psyche. Suffering all these years has led to a compromise in my mental ability, sometimes I forget words, people's names and I don't know how to do basic mathematical calculations.
Part of me is thinking about continuing to study for a master's degree. But I don't know if it's worth it. What I would like to do is doing something to help others, but with my degree I can't do any of this. With a master's degree I can maybe become a teacher, which I might enjoy, but its a long jorney.
Things that MAYBE i believe can improve my self-esteem: traveling, traveling alone, it ll sounds stupid but i would like to learn how to fight (but im a bit scared of fighting gym environment).
I feel unworthy of love. I feel its too late to change. I need some help, really. I need to change the way a i interpret the world.
If you can give me some advice i would be very grateful.
submitted by Voinar to selfimprovement [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:36 thazmaniandevil Graduation party

I (36m) have been teaching high school for 5 years. I've been in the process of saying goodbye to all my seniors, which is always difficult. One of my seniors this year delivered me an invitation to her graduation party.
It says I'm welcome to bring my family. It's at a local church, so it's not a personal residence or anything. There will be a lot of people there. Handwritten on the inside is that I've been her favorite teacher and I've really inspired her college and career path. She's a great kid and it really makes me happy I've made such an impact.
I was thinking of attending. I was going to rsvp by text to her PARENTS to let them know I'm honored and that I would attend.
I think it would be fine to coordinate through her parents that I'm attending. What do you all think?
submitted by thazmaniandevil to Teachers [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:19 Glittering-Lynx-864 want to study maths again after not picking up a math book for two years, i need serious advice

my qualifications: passed 12th grade this year with 95% marks (i still think the examiner was drunk while checking my answersheet ) in pcb stream. gave neet and i am expecting 610 marks. i have decided to take a drop year and wish to complete the entire 11 and 12 maths syllabus till the next cuet exam.
Please recommend some study material and books, a bit of advice on how to complete the syllabus and also a few teachers who teach on youtube, because my parents will never pay for a private tutor to teach me maths when im supposed to be studying for neet
submitted by Glittering-Lynx-864 to Indian_Academia [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:12 MNslice55 Anyone feel guilty they can’t send their kids to public preschool because of the hours?

I had a sleep over with my nephew who is the same age as my 4 year old. At age 4 he reads, is emotionally well regulated, does math, counts past 100, and is probably more athletic than I am.
He goes to our school district’s high quality preschool and has been for 2 years. I wanted my kids to go to it but the hours didn’t allow it and we couldn’t get a before/after school care spot.
Paying for the public preschool and getting a nanny in the morning and afternoons is too cost prohibitive in our area.
My kids go to a private program that is more expensive than the public preschool and not as good. It is a glorified daycare with little teaching.
The kids across the street also go the public preschool/schools and are leaps ahead of my kids and the other kids on the street that go to private programs.
I feel I am not giving my kids the great public education I had. Where we live private schools just don’t have the resources to attract high quality teacher like public schools.
I keep telling myself how lucky my kids are. I see a lot of kids of stay at home parents struggle with basic social issues like staying in line, learning to basic instructions or social cues. The fact that that my kids get to go to some kind of “school” is a privilege but it makes me sad that the kids who have 2 full time working parents get a worse education because of childcare concerns.
I see why so many patents go part time.
submitted by MNslice55 to workingmoms [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:11 Viral-conclusionz8 How teenagers look to youth attachment to reality and interest and how several dreams built beyond.

Teenagers' attachment to reality, their interests, and their dreams play a crucial role in shaping their identities and future aspirations. This period of development is marked by significant physical, emotional, and psychological changes, influencing how they perceive and interact with the world. Here’s a closer look at how teenagers balance reality with their interests and dreams:

Attachment to Reality

  1. Social Dynamics:
    • Peer Relationships: Teenagers place a high value on peer relationships, which significantly impact their sense of reality. Acceptance and validation from friends can shape their self-esteem and worldviews.
    • Family Influence: Despite seeking independence, family values and expectations continue to anchor teenagers to reality. Parental guidance, support, and boundaries are critical during this stage.
  2. Education and Responsibilities:
    • School Environment: The school environment provides a structured reality, where academic performance and extracurricular activities contribute to personal development.
    • Responsibilities: Teenagers begin to take on more responsibilities, such as part-time jobs, chores, and managing their schedules, which help them develop a practical understanding of the adult world.

Interests

  1. Exploration and Experimentation:
    • Hobbies and Passions: Teenagers explore various hobbies and interests, from sports and arts to technology and gaming. These interests often reflect their personalities and potential career paths.
    • Identity Formation: Through exploration, teenagers form their identities, experimenting with different roles and styles to see what resonates with them.
  2. Digital and Media Influence:
    • Online Communities: The internet offers a vast array of information and communities where teenagers can explore their interests. Social media, online forums, and YouTube channels provide platforms for learning and engagement.
    • Media Consumption: Television shows, movies, music, and books also play a significant role in shaping teenagers' interests and worldviews.

Dreams and Aspirations

  1. Vision for the Future:
    • Career Aspirations: Teenagers often dream about their future careers, influenced by role models, media, and personal interests. These dreams can be ambitious and may evolve over time.
    • Personal Goals: Beyond professional aspirations, teenagers also dream about personal achievements, such as travel, adventure, and personal development.
  2. Creativity and Imagination:
    • Creative Expression: Many teenagers express their dreams through creative outlets like writing, drawing, music, and other art forms. These expressions are a way to envision and share their future hopes.
    • Innovation and Entrepreneurship: Some teenagers are inspired to innovate or start their own ventures. The increasing accessibility of technology and resources supports entrepreneurial dreams.

Building Dreams Beyond Reality

  1. Support Systems:
    • Mentorship and Guidance: Mentors, whether teachers, family members, or community leaders, play a crucial role in helping teenagers translate their dreams into achievable goals.
    • Educational Opportunities: Access to quality education and extracurricular programs can provide the skills and knowledge needed to pursue their dreams.
  2. Resilience and Adaptability:
    • Coping with Setbacks: Teenagers learn to cope with setbacks and failures, developing resilience. Understanding that challenges are part of the journey helps them stay motivated.
    • Flexibility: Dreams may change as teenagers grow and gain new experiences. Flexibility in their aspirations allows them to adapt and find new paths to success.
  3. Practical Steps:
    • Goal Setting: Learning to set realistic and achievable goals helps teenagers break down their dreams into actionable steps.
    • Skill Development: Acquiring relevant skills, whether through formal education or self-directed learning, equips teenagers to pursue their interests effectively.

Conclusion

Teenagers' attachment to reality, coupled with their diverse interests and dreams, creates a dynamic landscape of growth and potential. By exploring their passions, leveraging support systems, and developing resilience, teenagers can transform their dreams into reality. Balancing the practical aspects of life with the imaginative possibilities of the future is a key part of their journey towards adulthood and fulfillment.
submitted by Viral-conclusionz8 to selfimprovement [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:03 Infamous-Wear-538 AS for Beginners

Im starting my AS after 13th June. I sat for my IGCSE's as a private candidate after trying 3 schools for it because I tend to get distracted with the schools' extra-curriculars etc. I have come to love Mathematics and Physics during my IGCSE's (though my predicted marks for Physics P4 Theory Exam are nothing above 60 out of 80 because I made several silly mistakes owing to just 1 hour sleep before the exam day).
Our household environment is more supportive and knowledge of a career in medicine for which in my country, I require to take all 3 sciences (Bio, Chem and Physics) in my A levels which I have taken all in my IGCSE, though I have the least interest in Chemistry because I'm more good working with a solid set of conditions, rulings and patterns as followed in Maths or Physics, which I really haven't found in IGCSE Chem.
For some reason there's always some exceptions and too many types of reactions in this subject [types of electrolysis, then different methods of making salt, types of addition reactions, exceptions to ionic bonding. No idea how in the World the compound ions form like I dont think so valency rules are followed there, I dont even know why Mn with the ox. state of +7 still bond with O2 to form MnO4(-1) and then react with K(+1). I am expecting I will get all these answers in AS, but I have still ruined my Chem ATP exam and will probably end up getting a maximum of 26/40 - I know Im doomed].
So, in conclusion I wanted a career in Quantum Physics, but have messed up this subject's Theory exam and this was just IGCSE, so what will I do in AS. I am motivated to join medicine which has been a preferred professional choice for many in my family before too. I sucked at Maths till 8th but worked during Covid era, after leaving school and eventually have come to adore this subject and embrace all its complexities in a way that I dont give up now. Recently, I decided with my parents to join the field of Bio-engineering, which is something they also felt right for me so they are entirely supportive of it but it's completely new in our family. I do not know if I require to take Mathematics in my A levels for it. Sciences, I think, are compulsory to work in this field.
After, witnessing many of my seniors struggle with 3 Science subjects in their AS and after taking an additional subject of Global Perspectives, myself, in my IGCSE (which was a huge mistake as it affected 2 of my other subjects and I ended up getting 1 B so I re-appeared for that exam this year along with my Sciences, Maths, First Language English and Second Language Urdu), I find it impractical to take all these 4 subjects in my A levels, yet I do not want to leave Mathematics and feel that deciding to carry on with Chemistry and leaving Maths would be the biggest regret of my life. Also, if I am to join the medical university I aim for in my country, I ought to have good Math skills too - they have 20-25% MCQ section about it in their entry test.
Now tell me what should I do for my AS? Would doing AS as a private candidate be a good choice for a student like me, considering I have to do my Science Practicals too (though I have no clue what is required from me in these practicals, and already I am clueless about what could have I done better to go around my Chem Alternative to Practical in a more effect manner cuz my memory skills are weaker than analytical skills so I messed up a question test my retaining of solubility patterns).
I joined an academy for my private IGCSEs throughout last year till my exams and it suited me the best. It has the same teachers for A levels, as those for IGCSE and I love to study with them because they actually know what they are doing and I have seen most of the learned students from good schools nearby going to this same academy despite the fact that those schools are in our capital city so few of the best here. Joining the academy for AS is a must for me, and Im gonna do that from July but should I join a school along wise? I get distracted easily with the activities and summer programs, however I also have heard that some are essential for admissions in good unis afterwards. I know one thing that I would have ended up with all B's or C's in my IGCSE had I kept on with those schools, which now isn't the case.
I also want your advices on opting for Maths with the 3 Sciences. And is Maths with Bio a necessity or even an advantage for Bio-engineering? (PS: I know it's very long, that's another bad habit I have - prolonging everything just like that. But I would highly appreciate your sincere advices, thank you :)
submitted by Infamous-Wear-538 to alevel [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:01 ibid-11962 Writing and Publishing Eragon [Post Murtagh Christopher Paolini Q&A Wrap Up #6]

As discussed in the first post, this is my ongoing compilation of the remaining questions Christopher has answered online between August 1st 2023 and April 30th 2024 which I've not already covered in other compilations.
As always, questions are sorted by topic, and each Q&A is annotated with a bracketed source number. Links to every source used and to the other parts of this compilation will be provided in a comment below.
The previous post focused on details about the writing of Murtagh. This installment will focus on The Writing and Publication of Eragon, including the early abandoned starts and drafts the preceded the self-published version and Christopher's journey towards getting traditionally published. In this post the topics are arranged in almost a chronological order. The next post will focus on the writing of the Fractalverse, and so will be posted on /Fractalverse.

Writing and Publishing Eragon

The Original Idea
[When I start to write a new book] I have an image. There’s always a strong emotional component to the image, and it’s that emotion that I want to convey to readers. Everything I do after that, all of the worldbuilding, plotting, characterization, writing, and editing—all of it—is done with the goal of evoking the desired reaction from readers. In the case of the Inheritance Cycle, the image was that of a young man finding a dragon egg (and later having the dragon as a friend). [10]
Who's your favorite character to write? Well, for me, it's the dragon Saphira. She's the reason I got into writing a dragon. She came first? She came before Eragon? Like she was the catalyst? The relationship came first, her and Eragon. [33]
I was specifically inspired by a YA book called Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher by Bruce Coville, which is a delightful book. I just loved that idea so much of finding a dragon egg, I was like, "Well, what sort of a world would a dragon come from?" And I knew I wanted the sort of bond between rider and dragon that Anne McCaffrey had, but I wanted the intelligence of the dragons that you find elsewhere, and the language and the magic. And I wanted sparkly scales because it just seemed like dragons are fabulous creatures and they ought to have sparkly scales. That's the fun thing about writing your own books. You can make them exactly the way you want to make them, and hopefully then that appeals to the audience as well. [30]
All of that kind of was swirling around in my head, and I wanted to write about dragons in a way that kind of combined a lot of elements in a way that, "I like this", and "I like this piece", and "I like this piece", but I kind of wanted to have all these different pieces in one type of dragon, and no one had quite done it exactly the way I wanted. [30]
I live in Montana, and our library is an old Carnegie or Rockefeller library, and especially back in the 90s, it didn't have that many books. So once I read all the fantasy in the library, I thought I had read all the fantasy there was to read. Because I was not the smartest kid in the world sometimes. And I kind of thought, "Well, it's the library. They have all the books that exist, right? All the books that matter are in the library." And I really had no idea what to read after that. So I decided to start writing myself and to try and write the sort of story that I would enjoy reading. And of course, what I enjoyed reading was books about flying on dragons and fighting monsters and having adventures. [35]
Reading and literature was always important in our family. My father's mother was a professor of comparative literature and wrote books on Dante and all sorts of stuff like that. Was the myths and folklore part of your life at this time? Yes, but I should clarify that it wasn't formally introduced to me. It was in the house. People weren't wandering around talking about. It was just like the Aeneid is sitting on the shelf. I would go read things. I have a great uncle. He's 90 now, my mother's uncle. Guy is still sharp as a tack. It's amazing. But he gave me a set of cassette tapes of Joseph Campbell, who did Hero of a Thousand Faces. So that was my exposure to his theories of the monomyth and the eternal hero and all sorts of things like that. That got me very much interested in and thinking about the origins of the fantasy that I was reading because I was reading Tolkien and David Eddings and Anne McCaffrey and Raymond Feist and Jane Yolan and Andre Norton and Brian Jaques, and all of these you know authors who were popular at the time. I was very curious where does this come from. Tolkien, of course, felt like sort of the origin in a lot of cases but then I was discovering that, there are earlier stories that even Tolkien was drawing from. That was really a revelation to me. I really sort of got enamored with it. A lot of fantasy is nostalgic and that appealed to me because I was homeschooled and my family didn't really have a lot of relatives in the area, so I felt very unmoored from the rest of society. I think I was looking for a sense of tradition or continuity with the past and fantasy helped provide that. That's an incredibly articulate thought for a 15-year-old author. Or has that come with age? No, it was something I was feeling at the time. You were conscious of it at the time? Well, listening to the Joseph Campbell stuff, I was looking: Where are our coming of age traditions? Where is the great quest to go on to prove yourself as a young adult, as a man? Where's the great adventure? What do I do in life? Those are all things that are part of the adolescent experience and always have been which is why so many mythic stories about coming of age deal with those questions. I think it's a universal thing. That's why Harry Potter, Eragon, Twilight, all of these have appealed so much because they deal with adolescence. They deal with finding your place in the world as an adult when you're starting as a young adult or a child. [28]
What games have taught you to be a better writer either in creating characters or worldbuilding or plotting even? All of my gaming experience was computer games, video games. One that had a huge influence on me was the old Myst series. Personally I love solving puzzles, so that's the first thing. And also the concept of the series, especially with the second game, Riven, it's all based around people writing books that create new worlds. And you get to go in them and solve puzzles and understand how that world works. And that just tickled every single part of my brain back in the day. Now, I'm going to be slightly unkind here, and I apologize if the author [David Wingrove] is listening to this, but there were a couple of novels based off of Myst. And I was such a fan of the series that I got the books, and I started reading them. And my first thought was, "I could do better than this." And so I decided to rewrite the first Myst novel. And I created a document in MS Word, and I got exactly three sentences into my rewrite. And I thought to myself, "okay, I think I can do this, but I could never sell it. So I better go write something of my own." And the next thing I did was Eragon. So video games kind of had a direct influence on me writing. But actually reading something that I felt was not particularly successful was such an inspiration. Because it was like, "this got published, I know I can at least get to this level." And it was published. And then maybe I can shoot for a little bit higher. [pause] I think some people have had that experience with Eragon. [26]

Early Abandoned Starts

I had the original idea, the concept of boy finding dragon egg, and I tried writing a couple of very short versions of Eragon when I was fourteen, and none of them panned out so I stopped writing for a while. [28]
Real World Version
What do you remember about the early days of writing “Eragon?” Originally, Eragon was named Kevin and the story was set in the real world. But I only finished around 10 pages. [16]
I wrote three versions of Eragon before I wrote the version that had the unicorn, which was the first major draft. The first version was set in the real world, and that's why he's named Kevin. And the reason it was set in the real world is I was inspired by Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher, which is set in the real world. [32]
I was specifically inspired by a book called Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher by Bruce Coville. By the way, Bruce knows this. If you haven't read it, it's a great book about this young man in the real world who, spoiler, goes into an antique shop and buys a stone that ends up turning out to be a dragon egg. And I really loved that idea of a stone that was actually a dragon egg and the young man becoming joined with the dragon. And so I tried writing the story. And I got exactly five pages or six pages into it and I ran into a brick wall, because a boy finding a dragon egg is a good event, but it is not a good story. And I needed to figure out what was going to happen after that. I didn't know that at first. [36]
Arya Opening Fantasy Version
But then I was going down the rabbit hole of, "Well, if there's a dragon, where did the dragon come from? What if it were an actual fantasy world where the dragons were native?" And then that led me to then write a second beginning--I didn't get very far with this--that was more of a traditional fantasy story, and it opened with Arya and a couple other elves escaping a dungeon with a big battle, and at the very end of the battle, they send the dragon egg away, and Kevin finds it. But I didn't have the rest of the story, so I stopped writing it in that format. [32]
So I tried writing a second version of the story. So the first version of that story I wrote was set in the real world. Second version was more of like a fantasy world. [36]
I had the original idea when I was fourteen. I even wrote an early version of the story where it was set in the real world. But I soon realized that it was a lot more interesting to have a dragon in a fantastical setting. [8]
Research Break
I tried writing before and I always failed because I would only get like four to six pages into a story and then I didn't know what to do next. And that was because I didn't actually have my story. All I really had were the inciting incidents, like a boy finds a dragon egg in the middle of a forest. Great. But that's not a story, that's just one event. What happens as a result? So before starting Eragon, I was very methodical about this. I read a whole bunch of books on how to write, how to plot stories. [35]
I realized I wasn't getting anywhere. And I didn't know how to do what I was trying to do. Now, fortunately for me, my parents had noticed that I was getting interested in writing. And all of a sudden, books appeared in the house. There was no comment, no one forced it, these just magically appeared, and I read them. Some of the books that were incredibly helpful to me were these books that were called The Writer's Handbook, which was a collection of essays published each year by The Writer's Digest magazine. I had one from 1998, and I had one from, I think, 1993, or something like that. And there were essays from Stephen King and John Grisham and I think Ursula Le Guin and all sorts of other authors about what it was like to be an author both professionally and creatively. And that was incredibly helpful to me because again, the internet was not a resource. But the book that really made the difference for me was a book called Story by Robert McKee. It's a book for screenwriters and it's all about the structure of story. And up until that moment, I had never really consciously thought about the fact that stories have structure and that you can control that structure for the effect on the readers. So I devoured that book and I said, okay, I'm going to try this again. [36]
Did you very much sit down and study structure and character development and etc? I did. It wasn't a formal course or anything, it's just that my parents started buying these books and they started showing up. In fact, I still have them here on my shelf. This bookcase to my right is full of research books, technical books, language books. I read a book called Story by Robert McKee, which is a screenwriting book, that was and often has been very popular in Hollywood. It's a fairly technical look at story structure. I would never say do everything he says because of course you shouldn't necessarily follow any one formula, but that book really got me thinking about the fact that stories do have structure, which I hadn't really thought about before that. And that one can control that structure, and that this gives you something to work with. Before Eragon, I tried writing a number of stories and I never got past the first four to six pages, ten pages, because I never had the plot. All I would ever have was the inciting incident which, in the case of Eragon, is a young man finds a dragon egg. Ok, fine, but that's not a story. So when I read that book, then I was like wow, so I can control the structure of this. [28]
The problem with all of my early writing was that I’d get an idea and just start — I didn’t actually have a plot. But I was a pretty methodical kid, so I started reading about how to write. Fortunately, my parents are observant, and these kinds of books magically began appearing in the house. And I read all of them. [16]
Unused Arya Outline
So at this point, I was 15, that's when I graduated from high school and I was very methodical about it because I hate failing. So I said, okay, I'm going to create a fantasy world. And I did that. And then I said, I'm gonna plot out an entire book in this fantasy world. And I did that too. And then I said, but I'm not gonna write this. This is just a thought exercise. I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna stick it in a drawer. And I still have that to this day, that world and that story, I still have it sitting in a drawer somewhere. [36]
Then I spent some time and I created an entire fantasy world and I plotted out an entire fantasy novel in that world and I did not write it. I just stuck it in a drawer and that's where it's been sitting for 25 years now. And then I just did that to prove to myself that I could plot out an entire book. [35]
Before writing Eragon, again I was very methodical even as a teenager, I created an entire fantasy world. Wrote pages and pages about the worldbuilding, and then I plotted out an entire story in that world just to prove to myself that I could plot a story, create a world, and then I didn't write it. I put it aside. I still have it all saved. Put it in a drawer. [28]

Kevin

Writing The First Full Draft
And then I decided okay now I'm going to plot out a trilogy, because all great fantasy stories are trilogies. I'm going to do it as the heroic monomyth, because that is, at least my understanding back then, is this is one of the oldest forms of stories. I know it works on a general sense. It's going to give me a safety net, and then I'm going to write the first book as a practice book just to see if I'm capable of producing something that's three, four, five hundred pages long. And that's what I did. That was about two and a half months of worldbuilding, plotting, creating this. Then I wrote the first book and that was Eragon. That was my practice book. I never actually planned on publishing Eragon. It was only after I'd put so much work into it and my parents read it that then we proceeded with it. I was aware of story structure. I continue to read lots of books on it. [28]
And then version three is the version that everyone generally knows. And that's where I spent the time to plot out the whole series before writing, because having a idea of where you're going seems to help with the writing, at least for me. Usually. [32]
I originally saw Eragon as a practice novel, which is part of why it’s a very typical hero’s story. I knew that structure worked and it gave me the safety net I needed. [16]
The first draft went super fast. It went really fast because I had no idea what I was doing. And I just wrote that sucker. I wrote the first 60 pages by hand with ballpoint pen, cause I didn't know how to type on a computer. And then by the time I typed all that into the computer, I knew how to type. I did the rest in the computer. But this was back in the day when computers were fairly new. We had a Mac classic, which only had two megabytes of RAM. And the problem is that the operating system chewed up some of that memory. And my book file was around two megabytes large. So I actually had to split the book into two because I couldn't open the whole file on the computer or the computer would crash. So I had to open half the book and then close that and then open the other half. [35]
The First Draft
Once I finished the first draft, I was super excited and I thought, "well all of these things on how to write say that you should read your own book and see if there's any tweaks you wanna make." But I was really excited because I was getting to read my own book for the first time, and I thought this is gonna be awesome. And it didn't take very long while reading it to realize that it was awful. It was horrible. And just to give you an idea of just how bad that first draft was, in the very first draft of Eragon, Eragon wasn't named Eragon, Eragon was named Kevin. And there was also a unicorn in that first draft at one point, so you know it wasn't very good. [35]
If I heard correctly as I was reading, Eragon wasn't originally called Eragon? No, in the first draft of the book he was called Kevin. There's a reason! Look I have an explanation for it, okay. The explanation is that my original inspiration was Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher which is set in the real world. The original version of Eragon that I was developing was set in the real world and when I decided that it would make more sense to have a world where the dragons were native to and switched it over to this fantasy world and began to develop that, I just kept the name that I'd been working with, which was Kevin. Naming a main character is hard, especially when you get used to a certain name. I don't want to say I was lazy. I want to focus on the world building and writing the first draft and I'll worry about the name later. [28]
There is an early version of Eragon that no one's seen, that even my editor at Random House never saw. And that was my first draft. And in that first draft, Eragon encountered a unicorn in the Beor Mountains on the way to the Varden. And the unicorn touches him and essentially affects the transformation that he goes under during the blood oath ceremony with the elves in the second book, in Eldest. And his whole storyline with the Varden once he gets to Farthen Dûr is completely different because now he has these abilities and he and a team of people ends up getting sent on a scouting mission in the dwarven tunnels to go find the Urgal army and then they have to flee back through the tunnels to warn everyone of this huge army and I had a underground cave full of lava, and multiple shades, and a huge Urgal army. There was there was a lot of dramatic stuff. Finding the Ra'zac in Dras-Leona was completely different. This is the draft where Eragon was named Kevin. [32]
I haven't thought about that version in ages. I think Arya was awake all the way from Gil'ead to Farthen Dûr in that version. That's right, I had to completely rewrite that. It's an unpleasant ride for her. No, no, no, she was awake and healed. She was awake. That's right, God, I had to rewrite most of the last chunk of the book now that I think back, it's been a long time. [32]
The worst thing is, I think Kevin would actually take a larger budget [to adapt to film]. No, stop. Why would Kevin take a larger budget? Because the battles were bigger, there was more stuff going on. Seriously, there were more creatures, more travel. Yeah, I think Kevin would actually take more money than Eragon. [32]
You said that Eragon's name was originally Kevin. Was Eragon's name originally Kevin? It was. And I really regret I didn't stick with it because I think that as many books as I've sold, the series would have been at least twice as successful if it had been about the adventures of the great dragon writer Kevin. Especially just seeing Kevin on the front cover. Imagine the appeal to the modern youth. Kevin the dragon writer. I mean Eragon, it's confusing with Aragorn. Oregano. Oregon. But Kevin, Kevin stands out, Kevin's original. That's why I had to move away from it. [31]
Releasing the Kevin Cut
So do you wanna share some of those drafts with us, Christopher? Just kidding. Well, I actually had a fan reach out to me. He's one of the big members of the online fan community on Reddit and elsewhere. And he's kind of interested in some of these early versions from almost an archivist point of view, a scholarly point of view. Which is certainly an interesting idea. I mean, there is an early version of Eragon that no one's seen, that even my editor at Random House never saw. ... I cannot describe how much the Internet absolutely needs for you to put out an edition of Eragon that just says Kevin. Should this be like Mistborn or Way of Kings Prime? This is the Kevin edition of Eragon. The Kevin cut. Oh my god. It's "Eragon: Kevin's Version". ... We absolutely need Kevin's Version of Eragon. That's something we need. It's bad. It's bad. Look, there are certainly people who can look at Eragon, the version we have now, and say, "we can tell this was a younger writer." I look at it and I can tell. I could do so much more now with the material than I could then. But if you think that about the published version of Eragon, man, if you saw the unpublished version, the early version, it really is the raw writing of a homeschooled 15-year-old, who wrote a 500 page book about Kevin. I don't know, the internet is very unhinged these days. They would love this. It needs to exist somewhere on the internet. [32]

Publishing

Editing
So I wrote Eragon, and then I read the first draft and it wasn't particularly good, so I spent a good chunk of a year rewriting it as best as I could. I didn't know what I was doing but I was trying. I've heard it said that being displeased with your own work is actually a good thing because it means you know what is good work, and if you're not happy with your work because it's not good, it means you could at least have a goal to shoot for. If you read your work and you're like this is the best thing that's ever been written, you're never going to get any better. [28]
But I could see that the book needed work, so I decided to try to fix it as best I could, and I spent the better part of that year revising, rewriting, changing Kevin to Eragon. And then I gave the book to my parents and fortunately for me, they actually enjoyed what I had done. And they said, we think you have something, let's try to take it out into the world and see if anyone else wants to read it. [35]
Self-publishing
[We] decided to self-publish the book as a joint venture since we didn't know anyone in the publishing world. That was again a good chunk of a year where we were editing the book as best the three of us could. Preparing it for publication, formatting, I drew the cover. [28]
Now you have to understand, my parents were always self-employed, have always been self-employed and we were always looking for things we could work on together as a family business. And Eragon was like the perfect opportunity for that. They'd had some experience self-publishing a couple of small educational books my mom had worked on. Because she was a trained Montessori teacher, and so she was trying to use that expertise to write some material herself. But I don't even think we sold 100 copies of those. So we spent another good chunk of a year preparing the book for publication with doing more editing, doing the layout, designing the cover. [35]
The first set of 50 books showed up while we were watching Roman Polanski's Macbeth, which seemed fitting because those first 50 books were all miscut from the printer. And as a result, we had to rip the covers off, send them back for credit from the printer, and then burn the insides of the books. So we had a proper book burning in our yard, and I actually saved some of those burnt pages just as a memory of that event. [35]
Self publishing wasn’t as viable then as a pathway to a career as an author as it is today. Why did it work for you? Everything completely changed because of e-readers. If you wanted to read an e-book, you had to have a PDF on your computer. There were no distribution systems like Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Back then, the lowest amount you could print and not have the book be too expensive was probably about 10,000 copies. But we were fortunate because print-on-demand had just become a thing, so books were just printed as needed. Self publishing is a lot easier these days. Of course, today’s marketplace is a lot more crowded as a result. [16]
Promotion
My family and I were going around the western half of the United States with the self-published edition of Eragon. I was cold calling schools, libraries, and bookstores to set up events. I was doing two to three one-hour long presentations every single day for months on end at various times. You have to understand that because my parents were self-employed, the time they took to help prepare Eragon for publication was time they weren't working on other freelance projects that would have been bringing in money. So by the time we actually had Eragon printed and in hand, if it had taken another two to three months to start turning a profit, we were going to have to sell our house, move to a city, and get any jobs we could. Because of that financial pressure I was willing to do things I probably would have been too uncomfortable to do otherwise. Like doing all those presentations. [28]
We were doing a lot of self-promotion. I was cold calling schools and libraries and talking them into letting me do presentations. And that worked pretty well because the librarians could take pre-orders for us. If we went into a bookstore, by hand selling, I could maybe sell anywhere between 13 to 40 books in a day. 42 was like the best I ever did, but usually it was around 15 or so books, which just didn't cover printing costs and travel and food and all of that. But going into the schools, we were doing about 300 books a day, which was excellent. [34]
Can you tell me a little bit about how you and your family self-published the first Eragon book and what marketing strategies you did? Oh, it was all nepotism, you know. I wouldn't have gotten published without my parents. There's nothing as powerful as a publishing company that's four people sitting around a kitchen table in the middle of rural Montana. So yeah, without Nepotism, I wouldn't have gotten published. You have to embrace something like Nepotism if you really wanna succeed in today's world. In fact, people don't realize that you actually get a Nepotism card. There's a secret club. You go to New York and there's huge network opportunities. There's branches of the club everywhere, especially strong in Hollywood, of course, in music. Taylor Swift is an example. So if you can get into the nepotism club, I won't say you're guaranteed success, but you got about 80% chance of actually making it that you wouldn't have otherwise. Do you think your mom and dad would be willing to be my mom and dad? No, absolutely not. No, no. You don't have brown hair, so it doesn't work. You have to have brown hair to be a Paolini. Okay, I'll try to find a different way in, I guess. [31]
Getting traditionally published
So you were very much looking for that partnership? Well we were wary. But the thing is is we were selling enough copies of Eragon that to scale it up we were going to have to start duplicating all the things that a regular publisher does. We were actually looking at partnering with a book packager or a book distributor just to get more copies out. To do everything a traditional publisher could do for me was a huge amount of work so it made sense to pair with Random House or someone else at that point. But it was still nerve-wracking because the book was being a success and then handing it off to another company, we didn't know if it was just going to end up in the remainder bin two weeks after it came out. [28]
People in the book world were starting to take notice because of course, if you've been to public school, you may remember the Scholastic Book Fairs and all of the Scholastic reps in the different schools were seeing me come to the schools and selling these books and hearing the kids talk about it. And it was getting attention. So we would have gotten a publisher, I would have gotten a publisher eventually. [34]
The book sold enough copies and bounced around enough that we'd heard that Scholastic—because Scholastic does all the Book Fairs in schools in the US—was interested and that we might get an offer from them. Before that happened though... [34]
Eventually another author by the name of Carl Hiaasen ended up buying a copy of the self-published edition of Eragon in a local bookstore. Which now that I'm older, I'm rather shocked at because it takes a lot to get me to buy a self-published book. It's got to look really good. [35]
Carl Hiaasen wrote the young adult book Hoot as well as many adult books. He comes up to Montana, I think he's got a vacation home here in the valley, but he was up here fly fishing and he bought a copy of Eragon for his then 12 year old son, Ryan. And fortunately for me, Ryan liked the book and Carl recommended it to Random House and it sort of bounced around among the editors for a couple of months before my editor-to-be grabbed it and said, "Yes, we will. I want to take a chance on this teenage author and we're going to offer him money for a trilogy that only exists in his head and see what happens." [34]
How did you find an agent? We had the offer from Random House, and like two days later, we had the offer from Scholastic. And so we knew we didn't know what we didn't know. My dad participated in some online self-publishing forum sort of thing. So he posted up a question and said, look, this is the situation we're in. Does anyone have any advice? And another one of the members said, "well, I was just at this publishing writing conference and there was this young agent there and I was really impressed with his presentation, or him talking about the industry." So my dad got his information online and did what you're never supposed to do, which is he called the agent directly and left this long rambling voicemail message because it was lunchtime in New York and you take your lunch breaks in New York. And only at the end of the message did he say, "oh, yes, and by the way, we have two competing offers from two publishing houses." And when I asked him, I said, "why did you do that?" He said, "well, because if he's any good as an agent, he's going to listen to the whole message before he deletes it." And we found out later that he nearly deleted the message. Because my dad started off like, "I got this teenage son, and he's written this book", and yeah, that, OK. So it was like two hours later we got a call from Simon. And Simon said overnight me a copy of Eragon and if I like it I'll represent you. And Simon has been my agent for 21 years now. [34]
It was a big risk for Random House. And it was a big risk for me because the book was successful, self-published, and we knew that giving it to a publisher, you lose the rights to a degree, and most books don't turn a profit, and it could have just ended up in the remainder bin. So what really worked in my favor is that Random House, and specifically Random House Children's Books, and specifically the imprint of Knopf, which is where I'm at were looking for their own Harry Potter, essentially. Scholastic was publishing Harry Potter. And Scholastic also gave me an offer for Eragon, but I could tell that Random House was the one that really loved the book and Scholastic was doing it because they thought it was a good business opportunity. Scholastic actually offered more money than Random House. But I went with Random House and it was the right choice. And I found out after the fact that Chip Gibson who was the head of the children's department at the time basically chose to use Eragon as sort of something to rally the troops and put the entire children's division behind it, and I was the very fortunate recipient of that love and attention. Which of course would only get you so far if people didn't enjoy reading the book. But fortunately for me, they did a great job marketing it and then people actually enjoyed the book. Which is why when people ask me how to get published, it's like, what am I supposed to say? The answer ultimately is you write a book that people want to read, and that's a facile answer, but it is true. If people want to read it, it makes everything else easier. The agent wants you, the publishers want you, and ultimately the public wants you. [34]
And I didn't realize how much was behind that email, because large publishers do not just casually say, "hey, we want to publish your book". There was a whole plan there, and they had a plan. And so they did. Eragon came out and then I had to figure out how to write a book with everyone expecting the sequel. [36]
So you kind of went and peddled your books at schools, as I understand, right? It seems to have paid off though, because it eventually landed in the hands of bestselling author Carl Hiaasen, but not right away. First, your book got in the hands of his stepson, and the kid liked it so much that he told Hiaasen about it, who then got Eragon fast-tracked with Penguin Random House. I really admire the way that you went for the weakest links, manipulating the minds of our youth and using them to shill your book for you. It's a tried and true marketing strategy from Girl Scout Cookies to coupon books, and I applaud you for your ingenuity. My biggest question here is, do you pay Carl Hiaasen's stepson the agent royalties he so rightfully deserves? He tried to collect one time, but I had to hire a couple of guys to drive him off. But, no, you always go for the weakest link. Back when I was self-published and all that I even tried to get Eragon reviewed by Entertainment Weekly, so I called up the subscription number on the back of the magazine and told them I'd made a mistake and asked them to transfer me over to corporate, and managed to get right to their book reviewer and tried to talk him into reviewing Eragon. So you always go for, as you said, the weakest link. Which is corporate. Ryan, Carl's son, though, yeah, I probably owe him a ridiculous amount of royalties. I'd say so. He made you. Oh, he did, absolutely. Without him, I'd be nothing. I guess the lesson here for aspiring authors is that it's not really about finding your target audience, necessarily. You just have to find your target prolific author's stepson and let the kid take it from there. Yeah, absolutely. As I said, that's part of the nepotism package. The sort of networking inside the industry. This is the stuff that you can never access otherwise, and you'll never get published otherwise. So it's not like you can just grow up in the middle of nowhere in Montana, self-publish a book, and then just become a success, by promoting it. You have to have connections. That's genius. I think you could have had an incredible career in designing loot boxes for mobile games based on how good you are at manipulating the world. Absolutely, microtransactions are God's work. [31]
Gaining Confidence
Was anxiety something you felt moving to this deal with Random House? Was that quite pressuring? Yes, it was a big change to go from writing for yourself as a teenager, homeschooled, living in the middle of nowhere, to knowing that there was a large audience for your next book and that they had expectations. I got criticized quite a bit, critiqued quite a bit when Eragon came out for, shall we say, my lack of experience on the technical side of things with the writing. I'd say some of those were certainly fair critiques. The great advantage of youth is that you don't know how difficult things are and you have a lot of energy. The great disadvantage of youth is you don't have experience, and there's no fixing that aside from time and effort. All of that was definitely in my head when I really started work on Eldest and it was pretty nerve-wracking quite honestly. [28]
When you finished the book, I mean your parents believed in it obviously. Did you too? Or were you like, "You know what, maybe the second book, maybe go all in on the second one?" I didn't feel like I was actually an author until my third book was published. Because the first one, well, that could be a fluke. Well, the second one, yeah, but you know. But once the third book came out, then I was like, okay, maybe I'm actually a writer. But even then, even after I finished the series, I still felt like, okay, now I have to write something that's not Eragon, just to prove that I can. So every book has been its own challenge and has been a way for me to keep feeling like I'm growing as an artist and learning to become a better and better writer. [2]
It took me, I wanna say almost 10 years to feel like I wasn't an imposter and that it wasn't just gonna get yanked away. You know what my dream was when Eragon was was going to get published by Random House? Like this was my pie in the sky because I didn't think it was going to happen. But this was my dream. I did all the math and I was like, man, if I could somehow someday sell 100,000 books, which is impossible. But man, if I could sell 100,000 books, that's a darn good living. Man, I could really make a living off that. I could support a family and 100,000 books. Man, that'd be amazing. And then it kind of took off from there. [33]
submitted by ibid-11962 to Eragon [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:57 Own-Worry9880 Another vent post

//throwaway account
Hello,
For all the other parents going through this, I feel you. You are doing great and are a great role model for your child. I know I should practice what I preach, but it's hard.
I (38m) am kind of at my wits end with my wife from time to time. I consider myself as the primary caregiver of a our 2.5y old: I do all the cooking and dishes, morning daycare drop offs and afternoon pick-ups. Most of the laundry îs on me, as well as cleaning. My wife (34f) does some cleaning maybe a day every 2 weeks and change the diaper once every 3 or 4 days. I do all the morning routine with the toddler and bath time. She still breastfeeds as it's the only way the boy knows to fall asleep at home. From time to time I take him with the car to sleep at noon and sometimes to fall asleep at night if it's too late.
She always tells me about fathers of her friend that are not involved, but she doesn't realize she is actually those fathers. And I feels she Sometimes feels frustrated as people ask her about cooking or different activities. She says that we both cook or gives a generic answer, but she doesn't acnowledge that I do most of the work.
We both work from home, but it feels like even when she was on maternity leave, I was still doing the same stuff, as it wouldn't matters that I actually have to work. He goes to daycare from monday to friday from 8 am to 3 or 4 PM, but there are times when he îs sick and those days are mostly on me. I am in constant touch with the teacher at the nursery and the peidatrician. I give him all the suplements, as well as all the medication when he is sick. My wife goes to work a day per week and it will be probably extended to 2 days per week.
She was never a morning person, and now it's worse. Sometimes we leave the flat even before she gets up. In the weekends, most of the time she wants to stay one more hour în the bed, which is usually around 2 hours. This frusrates me a lot. I am the last one to go to sleep and the first one to go up. I need to work late or do some dishes in the evenings. I also want to spend some time with her, so sometimes it gets very late for me and I get maybe 6 hours of sleep. We cosleep and the toddler still wakes up from time to time to nurse, so I partially understand she is tired, but somehow I cannot fully accept that she is tired all the time, yet I always find the resources.
Some times I get enthusiastic about sending time together in the morning, but she wants to stay in bed one more hour and everything goes down from there. For example, today (sunday) I woke up and thought about making pancakes for everyone, as the boy mentioned pancakes yesterday. We didn't have bananas and I thought to myself once baby gets up, I will run quickly to grab some from the store. My wife woke up shortly and told me she wants to sleep one more hour, and if I want, I can go out with the kid after he eats. I was s-o disappointed about this..
I know some of these point to a communication problem, but it's so hard to tell exactly how I feel because she always takes things personally and she think I am criticising her and jufmdge ger for not being a good wife or mother.
She never spent more than 4 hours alone with the kid, and this is something else that îs frustrating. I wanted to go one full day to the office when she was on maternity leave and she told me she needed help, so I shouldn't leave her alone. But I can spend 6 or 8 hours alone with the kid (and this was pretty often for me). And I know he can be very energic and strong willed. I am more active than her, so I can handle him going outdoor easier.
We don't have any help from our parents and it feels like I am single parenting 99% of the time. I feel like I should leave for a few hours and let her alone, but then I feel I would just neglect them. When I went out to see my friends, we always went to the park as I was with the kid, but she always goes alone to see her friend.
I know for sure I am part of the problem as I allowed this behavior and I think now it's too late to change anything. I try to involve the kid in everything I do, but sometimes he just wants mommy and there is nothing I can do.
I suspect she had some PPD for a few months, but she never acknowledged it. I tried to start therapy, but after one meeting, I just couldn't find the time for another session.
And there's a lot of other stuff. This is just the tip of the iceberg.
tl;dr: communication issues, frustrated with wife, don't really know how to handle the toddler stage
submitted by Own-Worry9880 to Parenting [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:53 PlusWindow557 Do the kids have ANYBODY on their side?

A lot of her kids are school aged so they have teachers seeing them everyday and they don’t report it? I feel like CPS will take that more seriously than random people online reporting it. There’s no way that their kids come to school looking any type of way, being bad, probably poor hygiene, failing, etc and NOBODY is stepping in. I feel like the kids are homeless every few months and I’m pretty sure parents, teachers, and even kids know about Nika’s youtube channel and see the BS that’s going on. I understand teachers can only do so much but what is happening here? When the girls go to the doctor so they doctors not find it weird that they have weird marks on them or find it weird that Nika is trying to get her 12 year old on birth control? Do they not find it weird that Nika acts the way she does and doesn’t even know her kids birthday or how to spell their names? Do they not find it weird that they don’t have a regular doctor to go to and on the records they jump around house to house and doctor to doctor? What about Papa’s grandma? I know she doesn’t want the rest of the kids or Nika in the house but why is she not reporting it or at least sitting down with Nika and trying to get some sense in her brain but Nika act like she knows it all when it comes to her kids, her life, and everyone else’s life. You truly cannot tell her NOTHING. I don’t understand why the kids keep getting taken away and being put back with her. What makes her qualified to get them back? When CPS does home checks do they not see the lack of food, beds, toys, furniture, baby items, etc? Do they not interview the kids privately? I understand the point of CPS is to bring kids back to their parents but GOD these poor babies don’t stand a chance at all. I feel like they can do well in school and graduate high school and maybe even college and still not accomplish anything because of the way their mother is! They would be better off graduating from high school and going straight into the military or even job corps to get away from Nika but they probably wouldn’t even know that’s an option. Do her friends not say anything? It’s just so embarrassing.
submitted by PlusWindow557 to independentshanika [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:48 AristotelesRocks Has anyone learned to play the piano by themselves?

Hi! Ever since I was a child I have always wanted to play the piano, but my parents could only afford music school in groups, which of course petrified me so after one lesson - the flute, not even the piano - I refused to go. When I was 8 my cousin give me his old keyboard (children’s size), but back then I didn’t have access to YouTube, so I only tried to play along with the radio.
Now, I’m in my 30s, I could get piano lessons but just going to a music school gives me anxiety, so does the one on one interaction with a teacher. I’ve also been wanting to take singing lessons, but my social anxiety is so bad. I’ve been singing on my own daily, and recording it, for the past years and I’ve really improved. So now I’m thinking about buying a digital piano and teaching myself. I don’t want to do anything fancy, just play along with the pop songs I sing. I’ve been making up songs since I was little so it would be nice to use the piano for that as well.
On Reddit people say it’s better to get a teacher from the start (which I’m sure is technically true), but in general I’ve been good at teaching myself things. For instance, I held off on getting a DSLR camera because photographers told me it was too hard to learn without classes, but I taught myself to the point where I worked as a professional photographer for a while. Most of the professional skills I have (and get paid for), are self taught.
I wonder if it’s just different for autistic people, and what your experiences are? With the piano and learning things on your own in general? I don’t want to hold myself back just because classes scare me.
submitted by AristotelesRocks to autism [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:40 Huliganjetta1 Parent activities?

This post is for parents/caregivers of preK kiddos. I am a PreK teacher my class is 20 students, it is a blended program so some have IEPs (disabilities mostly autism, developmental delay, nonverbal speech delay). Majority of my students come from bilingual or English learning households. The program I run has a grant that requires me to have several “parent activities” throughout the year that are alligned to our themes. Examples have been “cookie decorating for holidays” “planting a seed in April” etc.
TLDR; I want suggestions for parent activities so that caregivers/parents can enter the classroom and do a fun activity with their child. We have a large budget. Any past activities you have seen or had in your PreK programs that you enjoyed or ones you wish they had please suggest them! I want to focus on science and math and help families maybe some take home ideas? Thanks! Other teachers are welcome to suggest too.
submitted by Huliganjetta1 to Preschoolers [link] [comments]


http://activeproperty.pl/