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First World Problems: Lost the remote, now begins the arduous trek to the TV to switch it manually.

2011.01.19 09:02 airmandan First World Problems: Lost the remote, now begins the arduous trek to the TV to switch it manually.

First World Problems. If it's a problem you can only have if you have money we'll feel bad for you. Then we'll feel guilty for having enough money to have the same problem.
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2010.02.22 06:18 peanutsfan1995 /r/CollegeBasketball: The Internet's Student Section

Your home for College Basketball on the internet. Forever. Discord: https://discord.gg/redditcbb Twitter: https://twitter.com/redditCBB
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2011.07.07 09:03 blackscrubs LIGHTS

Lights Poxleitner-Bokan aka LIGHTS, Electro-Pop bad ass and cute as hell.
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2024.05.19 15:12 toleste [QCrit] QUESTIONING, LGBT+ Contemporary Romance, 80k, first attempt

Hey PubTips! Just want to say an upfront thanks to everyone who posts and comments on this subreddit - I've learned so much already!
I'm hoping to submit to a competition in which the prize is feedback from an agent. The competition is being run by Spread The Word and Frog Literary, and you can find it here if you're interested in applying too! (https://www.spreadtheword.org.uk/submissions-call-out-applications-are-open-to-lgbtqia-writers-for-1-2-1-feedback-from-frog-literary-agency/)
In the submission guidelines they ask for a cover letter, and I initially took this as more of a standard cover letter but after feedback from an author friend, they suggested they might be looking for a traditional query. My autistic brain struggles with reading between the lines sometimes, so I emailed them to clarify and the standard query is what they're after.
Just for context, my manuscript isn't completely finished but there's nothing in the guidelines to suggest it needs to be finished to apply. If anyone has any feedback or insight they could offer me, I'd be super grateful! Thank you :)
Dear [Agent],
As you represent [LGBT+ romance author], I believe you would be interested in my LGBT+ contemporary romance, QUESTIONING, which will be complete at 80,000 words. It merges the exploration of a newly discovered sexuality as seen in Kate Davies’ In At The Deep End with the wholesome, diverse found-family cast of Casey McQuiston’s One Last Stop.
Lucy is happy to spend the rest of her life in Harrison’s shadow, but she isn’t content to be confined to their kitchen only making meals for him and his fancy friends. She wants to be a real chef. When she gently brings up the idea of culinary school with Harrison, his temper flares and he kicks her out of their shared flat.
Heartbroken and temporarily homeless, she knows that Harrison will eventually calm down like every other time he’s broken up with her. She reconnects with an old friend who gives her a place to stay and introduces her to Manchester’s thriving queer scene. There she meets Aaliyah, the eccentric artist whose confident and flirty nature stirs feelings in Lucy that are much more than friendship. She has to decide whether to stick with the straight-and-narrow life she’s envisioned for herself since she was sixteen, or take a chance on this side of herself that she didn’t even know existed before now.
As a disabled, bisexual woman living in a society where productivity and heteronormativity are the key metrics of success, I’ve always sought out ways to escape. This has inspired me to create narratives that others can escape into, where queer characters all get their happy endings. Queer joy deserves to be given more space within the literary canon and I want to be part of that.
After taking an online writing course and meeting women from similar backgrounds to me, I realised that being an author might be an achievable dream. In the years since I finished that course, I’ve watched hundreds of YouTube videos, listened to hours of podcasts and read any craft book I’ve been able to get my hands on. I also received a mentorship opportunity with the editor Nicky Lovick, who suggested Frog Literary as a good match for my book.
First 300
The smoke alarm cuts through the quiet of the flat like an air raid siren, interrupting my final rehearsal of the speech I’ve been planning for weeks. I rush across the living room, grabbing a tea towel from the neatly folded pile and frantically wave it under the screaming white box. The noise continues to pierce through me, my short arms useless in the face of the high ceilings. I pull a stack of my cookbooks from the counter and lay them on the floor.
‘Sorry,’ I mutter, stepping onto Marco Pierre White’s face with my bare feet.
With the beeping finally silenced, I have to contend with the source of the smoke. A trickle of grey leaks from the top of the oven, and I send a silent prayer to the universe that my bread is salvageable. I need tonight to go well.
Pulling down the silver handle, a thick cloud billows out from inside, fogging up my glasses and filling the space with the scent of scorched sourdough. I haphazardly wrap the tea towel around my hands and grab the searing hot tin from the oven, the thin material barely enough to keep my hands from suffering the same fate as my poor bread with its charcoal-coloured crust.
I throw the whole thing into the sink, tears pricking at the edges of my eyes, though that could just be from the smoke that’s hanging around the kitchen like I’m in Victorian London rather than 21st Century Manchester. Harrison will be pissed off if he comes back to a smog infested flat, so there’s no time to cry over burned bread. Instead, I crack open the windows to the maximum amount possible on the 27th floor without being a suicide risk and head out to buy a replacement loaf.
When I get home, the flat is back to normal, the neat surfaces and sterile black furniture all looking exactly as it should. I close the window, hoping that heat from the rest of the cooking will ward away the March chill that has seeped in.
submitted by toleste to PubTips [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:40 Tall-Environment-422 Aiw for having my grandparents travel out of state to come and get me from my dad

I’m 16f and a few weeks ago my dad decided to sell everything he owned and started living in his simi truck and made me come along with him. I do school on my computer which is very difficult since the truck is very loud and vibrates constantly. There’s also nothing decent to eat besides junk food and usually we only get one hot meal a day which is a TV dinner. Ive lost a noticeable amount of weight and the terrible diet is starting to make me feel sick. The worst part is that I have to sleep at the foot of the bed since there’s only one twin sized mattress and it’s super uncomfortable.
A few days ago I hit my breaking point and called my grand parents to come get me which they happily did. I didn’t tell my dad about this since he wouldn’t have allowed it and he was pissed when they showed up. I feel bad for leaving my dad but living like that was absolutely miserable. Ever since then I’ve been getting texts from my dad complaining about how I made him be completely alone and making me feel really guilty.
submitted by Tall-Environment-422 to amiwrong [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:38 HamsterHistorical515 im 36 and i have the mental age of a 16 year old. how do i have fun.

ok. so im 36, due to extremely severe mental illness i was chronically fatigued and did nothing all day except go down deep dark rabbitholes on the internet until 30. ok. i know. im female btw. but now im out of my depression phase all of the belated needs that i suppressed because i was so restricted and secluded are coming back. like what teenagers want to do. like listen to kpop, chat about others with kpop, want a hot guy to fuck me (im a 36 year old virgin). karaoke. dance. chat and gossip with friends that dont exist. but everyone who wants to do that shit is in their teens and 20s. wtf do i do. everyone around me is turning into these strangely severe school headteacher boring seeming people and i still want to dance and party. they've been there and done teenagery things. its like theyve 'evolved' (in a way that i cant fathom) and i cant seem to keep up with even a 25 year old.
submitted by HamsterHistorical515 to Advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:33 Akza-3 Despite having a good career I’m quite stupid really. I’m almost certain I’m at least neurodivergent. Any advice on where I go from here?

Please understand I’m not looking for sympathy and before people start saying “you’re not stupid” “how can you say that about yourself” I’ve literally been called stupid by friends, classmates, and family since I was 4 years old. I’m in my early 30s now and can say I’ve without doubt done stupid things so I don’t want to hear people say I shouldn’t call myself and idiot when I am. I feel like I’m a functioning person with no common sense whatsoever causing me to get by in life while being a complete idiot along the way.
Now, having said that I managed to get by in school, despite my stupidity and I obtained overall average grades. Afterwards I went university and graduated with a below average marks but admittedly this was due to me doing literally no work when I was in university. I pretty much spent at a push 10% of my time studying. Foolish I know and was doing a challenging degree.
Despite that set back I pursued a career in banking and so far earn above the London average salary. Things on paper don’t actually seem to be bad right? Yet I do stupid things from time to time. In addition to this my memory is bad, particularly my short term memory. It’s caused me humiliation over the years and even as of recent. It makes me so depressed when I think of all the dumb things I’ve done over the years and feel like I’d be the happiest person in the world if not for my stupidity. I feel like I’d be sooo much more confident in myself if not for my stupidity. Below are some examples of the stupid and weird things I’ve done over the years:
1) Bad memory - will do something and forget a couple mins later at times; like forgetting the number of the locker I put my gym clothes in, when I was learning to drive I kept forgetting the basics such as putting the handbrake fully down. There are times where I’d forbid myself to say something only to stupidly say it a few minutes later. - there are more examples I could use but simply put this is my primary issue and it’s gotten a little worse as I’ve gotten older.
2) Sometimes I can’t hear things properly- I’ll hear words but not the right words forming at times - but this maybe happens a handful of times a year if that. Not an everyday thing at all but nonetheless still a problem.
3) Forgetting to open the wine bottle cap before pouring into the glass a few times on dates.
4) Not knowing that paracetamol could be classed as a painkiller. Always just referred to it as medicine.
5) Sometimes I’ll read something then temporarily forget it. E.g. on someone’s Instagram post a woman said she was having a boy. In the subsequent post showing the birth of her baby for some reason I thought it would be a girl just because the pictures looked like it would be one.
6) Only recently classing coffee as a hot drink. For whatever reason i classed hot drinks as hot lemonade or hot versions of any other forms of fruit juice.
7) Didn’t realise “cuppa” meant coffee for some reason. Whilst I was familiar with the phrase cuppa coffee for some reason if someone just said “cuppa” I’d be a little puzzled.
8) As a child I was known for throwing a ball and doing pushups weirdly. - maybe this was an early sign of poor motor skills?
I think you guys get the idea, I’m an idiot. I could list so much more examples but don’t want this turning into a long winded essay.
In addition to the above I’ve always struggled with concentration, distractibility and of course poor memory which makes me think I have ADD or maybe some form of dyspraxia.
As mentioned above I’m not seeking sympathy or attention I just want straightforward answers on how I can get better and whether the above examples could be linked to a form of learning disability. I just want to get better and potentially receive treatment via the NHS.
Thanks
submitted by Akza-3 to Neurodivergent [link] [comments]


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2024.05.19 13:25 zoe_casi AITA for wanting to give our family dog away?

my brother (m23) and I (f21) encouraged my mum (f50) to get another dog after recently losing our dad. he was the love of her life and ofc we were all very devastated. she took it the hardest and was depressed for a while before she had an idea of getting another dog because she was scared of losing our current dog which was 9ish years old at the time. hes a border collie and we love him very much though hes definitely more of a handful than most house family dogs. she asked us if we would help with raising another border collie puppy and we ofc said yes (although my mum is full time and my brother is basically full time and im a full time uni student with work too). we were barely home the three of us.
fast forward to now and our second dog is 1 year old and he is the worst dog ever. hes still not toilet trained till now, hes messy (rolls around in pee and poop) and eats everything on the counters, in our rooms (he can open our doors) and pees on our toilet floors. hes eaten my uber eats plenty of times and weve had to start leaving our backyard door open just so he can pee outside and sometimes he still doesnt. this makes all the flies enter our house and its constantly cold or hot depending on the season. its so frustrating coming home to a mess especially when he gets in my room and trashes all the papers and eats all my undies. he even accidentally ate a rock and he had to get surgery of over 3k expense. he did go to puppy school and my mum tried her best to train him as a puppy but again shes barely home. the most me and brother did was watch him as a puppy to make sure he peed outside to toilet train him but clearly it wasnt enough.
but my last straw was today when he ate some dessert off our counter that my bfs mum made. i absolutely hate him now and i have no love left for him. i refuse to help my mum take care of him any longer and im insisting she gives him away or sells him. obviously she doesnt want to because she still loves him or whatever but i am done. i gave her an ultimatum to give him away or ill move out and she said im being unfair. im tired of coming home to a mess everyday and fear of making sure my rooms barricaded or foods not close to the edge of tables. not to mention all the yelling my mum has to do to try and "discipline" him. obviously i dont blame the poor dog and i know we did a bad job raising him but i believe hed be happier in a home who can properly take care of him and give him 100% attention he needs.
TLDR: my mum got a second dog as part of a grieving process but the dog wreaks havoc in our home and i want to give him away.
edit: i didnt ask if i was the asshole for how we treated the dog. i was asking if it was wrong to give him away. ik we werent good owners so save your comment.
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2024.05.19 12:40 Powerful_Ad5921 Still in love with my high school crush and it's just killing me on the inside

I've been in love with this woman(X) since I was 14 or 15. I'm 26 now. Nearly 10 or 11 years later. We've been close friends on and off througout these years. On and off because I keep trying to cut ties(which I fail to keep cut because I just end up talking to her again). I did it once in high school when she got a boyfriend and then started talking to her again when they broke up, but I never had the balls to ask her out the rest of high school, and finally when it ended I tried cutting ties again before I left for uni(thought it'd be for good this time because we were going to different states, more than 10 hours away from each other). Things were going okay in uni, in my first year, and I found someone else(Y) that I liked, she had a boyfriend(long distance) so I wasn't hitting on her but l'm pretty sure she knew I liked her. We got really close in the first few months of uni, one day she asks me if i like her and I said yes, after which we stopped talking which really fucking hurt because I thought we were close friends. Right after that happened I started texting X again and it was like we never stopped talking. I got caught for weed at my dorm one night and while I was flipping out about being kicked out of the dorm and my parents finding out, she calls me up and one of the worst nights of my life turned out to be the best, and I guess that's when I realized I'm might still be in love with her. And I confirmed I was in love with her when one of our mutual friends told me that she told him that she liked me at some point in high school. But I didn't wanna admit it or tell her because I saw no point since we were 10 hours apart which just made me feel like absolute shit. Prior to college, till shit went south with Y, I'd never smoked(cigs or weed) or drank and was completely against it. One night I decided to get wasted(it was my first time getting drunk, and the last tbh for another 2 years) and since I didnt know any better I had 8 or 9 shots of whiskey back to back after which I got pretty fucked up and out of control and I ended up texting her admitting how I felt in I think a fucking 3 page essay to which I got no response which made me feel like absolute dogshit and I ended up crying the entire night at my friend's place. Next day I was still feeling like shit and I was at another friend's place smoking up and still crying about it to him and he just picks up my phone and calls her up and asks her to talk to me and she tells me she doesn't feel the same which broke me. After that conversation I just decided to just say fuck it, and fuck up my life, and I was just getting high on weed, alcohol or some other substance every day for the next 4 years. I barely attended uni, managed to get a year back. Pretty much wasted 5 years of my life just getting high or drunk. Anyways after that conversation with X, I stopped talking to her till I think my third year of uni. I met her once in twice in between, once when we were both back at our hometown, and once when she came to score some weed with her boyfriend (yeah I was also a dealer in uni). When I got into my 3rd year of uni, one day she hits me up outta nowhere and she said she's coming over to stay with me, and she stayed for like 2 days. I didnt make a move because I am a fucking dumbass, and I thought she just came there because we were friends. I call myself a dumbass because I do not understand signals from women. I'm also calling myself a dumbass because me and X ended up making out last year and she told me that she's wanted to do this for a while and when I asked her when she told me it whenever she came over to stay with me(which happened like 2 times). And the thing is, we made out after not talking to each other for nearly 3 years. After my uni I decided to completely cut ties with her because I knew that I was fucking up my life and one of the main reasons, there were plenty tbh, that were much worse than a girl not liking me but none of that mattered really because I honestly haven't cared about anything or anyone as much as I cared about her and I didnt know how to get her to like me. At the time I even thought it was all her fault(because it's definitely easier to blame someone else for the shit that goes wrong in your life than to admit that you're the fucking problem) and so one night I just sent her this huge message telling her to get the fuck out if my life and how she has ruined it and blocked her. After this I decided to quit smoking weed every day and isolated myself for a good 6 months(well not really by choice, I decided to move to my uncle's house during covid, and he wouldn't let me out because he was scared of getting infected). After the 6 months I went back to my hometown and I meet her the day after I landed(cuz we have mutual friends) and she asked me if i blocked her and I said yeah. We ended up meeting again a couple of times because we pretty much have the same friends, which didn't help me get over her so I just decided to cut out all my friends for like 2 years. And honestly speaking I got my shit together in those 2 years. Now I've never been someone with a lot of confidence my whole life. I've been an addict with no self control. Addicted to different substances, food, porn, cigarettes, just being an absolute waste man. Throughout high-school I was a fatass ugly fucker. I got attractive in uni cuz I smoked weed and lost a fuck ton of weight, I was attractive on the outside but a piece of shit on the inside(I knew it, but no one else really did)so getting attractive really didn't help my confidence a bit. In the last 2 years I finally got my shit together, got over almost all my addictions(smoking was my main, now it's porn, trying to get over it now) started going to the gym regularly and felt happy about myself, and I decided to start talking to my old friends and unblocked X because I finally realized it's not her fault that shit went wrong in my life, but my own which i didn't really admit to her cuz I had too much ego. I didn't even start talking to her, I just unblocked her and started following her socials. We ended up meeting because of our mutual friends, and the second time we met, we got super drunk, and we both started apologizing to each other. Later that night she made a move on me and we made out for a bit. Now I've hooked up with other people, but I've always felt like shit about it because it just never felt good. But I can't forget this fucking night, like it's etched in my fucking memory unlike most things because I have a shit memory. Honestly I forget most things that happen in my life except for moments i spend with her. Thing is I didn't wanna pursue it any further because I was leaving the country to pursue my passion (which didn't work out and I returned back home) and now I feel like it's too late to pursue it, because I don't think she's interested. I don't wanna tell her how I feel either because I've done this before and it's never worked out. I used to keep making excuses about being single to everyone by telling people that i don't have the opportunity to meet a lot of women after college(partially true), but now at my new job I meet plenty of women but I'm not interested in any of them because I know deep down I'm still in love with X. I don't think I can fall in love with anyone else and honestly I don't know what the fuck to do at this point. Worst part is life is going great at this point after being down in the dumps for so long. Got a decent job that I actually like going to, got great friends, have a lot of control over myself, but I still don't feel any happier because I'm not with her. Can't even tell this to anyone cuz our mutual friends think I'm over her, and don't know anything that happened between us. And my other friends just don't support me liking her so I just tell them I don't like her anymore.
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2024.05.19 12:38 Lucky_Lunch1202 Annoying mother.

Idk if this belongs here. If there's a more suitable page, please let me know.
Basically, nothing I ever do is enough. I babysit my sister 3 days a week, from 8am to 8pm. She in herself is another whole issue, but that's due to my mother's coddling, no doubt. During this time, I need to get my sister ready for school, drop her off, pick her up, do a variety of chores (dishwasher is all that she says, but she complains if the floors arent clean and the washing is piled up, so basically i try to do every possibke chore), make dinner for everyone, and feed our outdoor pet.
I don't mind this. My mum works hard. But when she comes home she complains about EVERYTHING. If my sister made a mess of something and I hadn't noticed it, if my sister touched the walls with greasy hands, if my shoes were in front of the door after I went out to feed the pet that her and my little sister got before i even knew. Like nothing is good enough. She's constantly bitching about my sisters, which makes me anxious to do the same. When I'm around her I don't dare grab a coke, snack, or make pasta, because she's constantly dogging on them for this.
One of the worst parts is how she claims she's blunt but everything feels passive aggressive. She will address it to my little sister like "Oh what have I told you about doing this, where's your this, hope you haven't been on that TV all day, what did you eat, oh baby let me go get you another drink." Her tone just screams that she's talking to me. Like, I'm sorry your kid is a literal demon. Idk what happened after I left for university, but my sister was lovely and silly, and she adored me, used to want to be me, and now she's horrifying. "If you don't do this, I'll tell Mum lies about you. If you don't, then you'll ruin my childhood, I love mum and my other sisters more than you."
Besides, nothing is good enough for my mother, I'm perfect. On social media, I'm the best daughter, I'm so smart, and she's so proud, and I'm so beautiful. She wonders why I have no self-worth? Because I've never heard those things to my face. I hear her tell me I have a good figure, but never without hearing, "You don't want to be like your sister. She's too skinny." Oh, I have a nice face? Only because my sister is so punchable.
She reminds me every day that she's a great mother. I'll say well you can be a bit this or that, and she has an excuse for everything." Why you do it doesn't matter. If it hurts, it hurts. What's the point in parenting if the child doesn't find it effective.
I recently told her I think I might have something not quite right with me. A lot of people (mostly AuDHD) say they think I'm autistic or have adhd, and I've thought that for a long time. I have a lot of issues, I wouldn't be surprised if it's just a mixture of many of them that just seems like autism or adhd. Basically, my mother said it's a trend right now and an excuse to be lazy. It was really giving "were all depressed, just stop being a lazy victim" vibes. She also told me I was too normal as a child and refutes all the instances of me being strange. Like when I had a no talking phase, when I told all my friends I didn't like them because they were too hard to talk to, when I cried to my mum basically explaining alexithymia to her because I didn't feel the emotions I expressed, all my various sensory issues I still have to this day that she said we're typical kid behaviour. It's all only gotten worse from there. I feel completely not normal, like I can't explain it. I also have a lot of issues with sounding monotone. Sometimes, I feel like I'm "dropping the act." From a young age, I've always been told off about my tone. If I'm angry, I better not sound it, if I'm sad, if I'm pissed off. I'm always lectured about my tone, but she sounds like she's making passive-aggressive jabs at me all the time, and that's fine.
There's so much more, like so much more. A lot of things she would say never happened. Like how she let my abusive bf take drugs to a holiday and kind of peer pressuring me to do them (I got SAd while I was sleeping that night by him). She said the whole time she didn't like him but didn't tell me in case I got upset. Or that time when I was getting pressured by my bf at 13, and she thought something was going on and just told me if I'm going to do anything I should just ask her for condoms instead of being an idiot. Reading this back, holy shit. One time she was crying and I went to give her a hug and she shooed me away and told me to leave her alone, and then seconds later my sisters aunt did the same thing and she broke down to her even more and hugging her. I was her emotional support child, btw, so obviously, this crushed me as that felt like my only value to her.
But yeah, there's so much idk how to even get into it all. So it probably doesn't seem so bad because this is probably typical parent behaviour. Also, yes, she is a single mother, and I'm grateful, but she has never said sorry to me. Never. It's always sorry you feel that way, but you're dramatic, victimising yourself, lazy, you'll thank me later. Like, no, I won't. Later you'll be estranged. She also has it in my head that no man is good. She keeps warning me of my bf, who yes is a pos sometimes, but better than a druggy rpist? I'd fricking say so, yeah. I tried to OD after breaking up with him. She doesn't even know because if I told her, she'd say I'm stupid and selfish. She also gets annoyed when I unblock my bf (as I broke up with him) to work things out. We're in a hard place, and I'm having complex emotions, and she just wants me to block him and spend time with family and study well. Like, let me grieve, jeez. She also tells me him mother is a psycho jealous bitch and his dad is a pdo. Like excuse me? You met them once, and know nothing about them.
I'm just writing this because I woke up to her complaining about a single cup and some pans that were left out last night (since the dishwasher was on) and saying how it's unfair as she wakes up early and has to deal with it. Why didn't you deal with it by cleaning it if it bothered you? Instead you wait till people are awake to criticise it and make them feel bad. Like we always do the dishwasher, that's one of my babysitting chores. Just ask me to do it nicely when I wake up, why all the backhanded comments and sparky remarks? Just communicate, you're 45, get a grip. She feigns perfection constantly and paints us as a perfect family when one child has cptsd, one has anxiety, I got a shit tonne of issues, and my little sister is an absolute entitled brat who will cry and scream and threaten if not given her way. Literally my sister said she would tell lies about me because I told her to wipe her own ass because I had chores to do (she's 8) and she said my mother would do it and that's why she doesn't love me. I want out of this house, but my mum will fault me for not babysitting as it costs money, and I do it for free.
Ask any questions you'd like. I understand there's not much to go off of, I'm happy to elaborate as I really need to vent I can't lie.
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2024.05.19 12:36 Powerful_Ad5921 Still in love with my high school crush and it's just killing me on the inside

I've been in love with this girl(X) since I was 14 or 15. I'm 26 now. Nearly 10 or 11 years later. We've been close friends on and off througout these years. On and off because I keep trying to cut ties(which I fail to keep cut because I just end up talking to her again). I did it once in high school when she got a boyfriend and then started talking to her again when they broke up, but I never had the balls to ask her out the rest of high school, and finally when it ended I tried cutting ties again before I left for uni(thought it'd be for good this time because we were going to different states, more than 10 hours away from each other). Things were going okay in uni, in my first year, and I found someone else(Y) that I liked, she had a boyfriend(long distance) so I wasn't hitting on her but l'm pretty sure she knew I liked her. We got really close in the first few months of uni, one day she asks me if i like her and I said yes, after which we stopped talking which really fucking hurt because I thought we were close friends. Right after that happened I started texting X again and it was like we never stopped talking. I got caught for weed at my dorm one night and while I was flipping out about being kicked out of the dorm and my parents finding out, she calls me up and one of the worst nights of my life turned out to be the best, and I guess that's when I realized I'm might still be in love with her. And I confirmed I was in love with her when one of our mutual friends told me that she told him that she liked me at some point in high school. But I didn't wanna admit it or tell her because I saw no point since we were 10 hours apart which just made me feel like absolute shit. Prior to college, till shit went south with Y, I'd never smoked(cigs or weed) or drank and was completely against it. One night I decided to get wasted(it was my first time getting drunk, and the last tbh for another 2 years) and since I didnt know any better I had 8 or 9 shots of whiskey back to back after which I got pretty fucked up and out of control and I ended up texting her admitting how I felt in I think a fucking 3 page essay to which I got no response which made me feel like absolute dogshit and I ended up crying the entire night at my friend's place. Next day I was still feeling like shit and I was at another friend's place smoking up and still crying about it to him and he just picks up my phone and calls her up and asks her to talk to me and she tells me she doesn't feel the same which broke me. After that conversation I just decided to just say fuck it, and fuck up my life, and I was just getting high on weed, alcohol or some other substance every day for the next 4 years. I barely attended uni, managed to get a year back. Pretty much wasted 5 years of my life just getting high or drunk. Anyways after that conversation with X, I stopped talking to her till I think my third year of uni. I met her once in twice in between, once when we were both back at our hometown, and once when she came to score some weed with her boyfriend (yeah I was also a dealer in uni). When I got into my 3rd year of uni, one day she hits me up outta nowhere and she said she's coming over to stay with me, and she stayed for like 2 days. I didnt make a move because I am a fucking dumbass, and I thought she just came there because we were friends. I call myself a dumbass because I do not understand signals from women. I'm also calling myself a dumbass because me and X ended up making out last year and she told me that she's wanted to do this for a while and when I asked her when she told me it whenever she came over to stay with me(which happened like 2 times). And the thing is, we made out after not talking to each other for nearly 3 years. After my uni I decided to completely cut ties with her because I knew that I was fucking up my life and one of the main reasons, there were plenty tbh, that were much worse than a girl not liking me but none of that mattered really because I honestly haven't cared about anything or anyone as much as I cared about her and I didnt know how to get her to like me. At the time I even thought it was all her fault(because it's definitely easier to blame someone else for the shit that goes wrong in your life than to admit that you're the fucking problem) and so one night I just sent her this huge message telling her to get the fuck out if my life and how she has ruined it and blocked her. After this I decided to quit smoking weed every day and isolated myself for a good 6 months(well not really by choice, I decided to move to my uncle's house during covid, and he wouldn't let me out because he was scared of getting infected). After the 6 months I went back to my hometown and I meet her the day after I landed(cuz we have mutual friends) and she asked me if i blocked her and I said yeah. We ended up meeting again a couple of times because we pretty much have the same friends, which didn't help me get over her so I just decided to cut out all my friends for like 2 years. And honestly speaking I got my shit together in those 2 years. Now I've never been someone with a lot of confidence my whole life. I've been an addict with no self control. Addicted to different substances, food, porn, cigarettes, just being an absolute waste man. Throughout high-school I was a fatass ugly fucker. I got attractive in uni cuz I smoked weed and lost a fuck ton of weight, I was attractive on the outside but a piece of shit on the inside(I knew it, but no one else really did)so getting attractive really didn't help my confidence a bit. In the last 2 years I finally got my shit together, got over almost all my addictions(smoking was my main, now it's porn, trying to get over it now) started going to the gym regularly and felt happy about myself, and I decided to start talking to my old friends and unblocked X because I finally realized it's not her fault that shit went wrong in my life, but my own which i didn't really admit to her cuz I had too much ego. I didn't even start talking to her, I just unblocked her and started following her socials. We ended up meeting because of our mutual friends, and the second time we met, we got super drunk, and we both started apologizing to each other. Later that night she made a move on me and we made out for a bit. Now I've hooked up with other people, but I've always felt like shit about it because it just never felt good. But I can't forget this fucking night, like it's etched in my fucking memory unlike most things because I have a shit memory. Honestly I forget most things that happen in my life except for moments i spend with her. Thing is I didn't wanna pursue it any further because I was leaving the country to pursue my passion (which didn't work out and I returned back home) and now I feel like it's too late to pursue it, because I don't think she's interested. I don't wanna tell her how I feel either because I've done this before and it's never worked out. I used to keep making excuses about being single to everyone by telling people that i don't have the opportunity to meet a lot of women after college(partially true), but now at my new job I meet plenty of women but I'm not interested in any of them because I know deep down I'm still in love with X. I don't think I can fall in love with anyone else and honestly I don't know what the fuck to do at this point. Worst part is life is going great at this point after being down in the dumps for so long. Got a decent job that I actually like going to, got great friends, have a lot of control over myself, but I still don't feel any happier because I'm not with her.
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2024.05.19 11:49 Material-Republic757 I stole and did weird stuff to my teacher's shoes and heels.

I am not disclosing any information about me, If any of my family or friends find out about what I do and did they wouldn't see me as the person they used to.
I'm in highschool and I have a foot fetish, Back in 8th grade I had a hot teacher who wore spandex leggings and very sexy high heels with red bottom soles along with platforms, I developed a foot fetish at that time so I constantly fantasized about sniffing and licking her feet and soles, It was a hot and sunny day, the school day had ended and I was waiting for the service in our classroom, I noticed that our advisor recently switched into slippers and asked our math teacher if he wanted to get lunch outside, I was staring at her high heels and imagining what it would taste and smell like, After I told my friends I would head out in a bit my advisor also had went out for lunch, When I was all alone in the classroom I approached my teacher's high heels and deeply sniffed into their insoles, The smell was like heaven, I had immediately gotten hard and kept sniffing and smelling the inside of her soles, I whipped my thing out and started jacking while sniffing and licking the inside of her smelly and sweaty high heels, It went on for minutes until I came inside her heels, I didn't clean up and left the classroom quickly, From that experience I can say it was my favorite moment of 8th grade, Fast foward to weeks after that I kept doing it and I was eventually caught not for the heels but for me jacking off, I had gotten in no trouble but from then on I was really careful with my steps.
Now onto the next grade, We were transferred into a high story building and our classroom was below the teacher's room, It was mostly unlocked after school ended so I went up to their room and looked around for shoes, I locked my eyes onto my advisor's same pair of heels and went ahead and did things to it, Even sucking water off the insoles in hopes of getting her sweat from her feet.
I stole some shoes to jack off to at home and to sniff, I had stolen my advisor's slippers and her feet were engraved into the slippers insoles, It was like heaven for me, I wanted to get another pair but they noticed and locked the doors from students.
Tldr: I had sniffed my teachers heels who I had a crush on and got obsessed enough to move my fetish into the next grade.
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2024.05.19 11:12 Accomplished_Pea_250 Is it a good decision to not date anyone unless it feels right again or maybe till I'm 26?

I'm 22-M from north India. I have been cheated on/ left/ or rather just things couldn't work for me in my first relationship. She left me for some well-doing guy when I was nineteen. No blame, we were Kids. I'm pursuing ACCA right now. I'm focused, clearing exams in one go.
I just feel like the dating world is not for me because I've not been the best-looking or most wealthy guy out there or maybe because my lifestyle doesn't allow me to meet many people. Even if I meet someone (I met a mutual friend), We don't' click easily. I'm more of an old-school guy inside, although I'm not a simp, I simply talk with honesty instead of saying things like, "You're a queen, please disrespect me".
Seeing the society we live in; most people expect that you'll become some sort of "Yes Man" for them.
For example, a girl told me that She wanted to explore people before telling me yes. Who wants to be a last resort plan? I walked away.
After that, with study hours around eight, working on my hobby of writing, taking care of my health, and some days, studying for 10-12 hours takes a chunk of my day. Even if not all days are like this, I'm not willing to give anyone the position where they can decide how I feel throughout my day.
This is different from not wanting to put effort because if you're my girlfriend, I'd like to take you on dates or talk to you about how you feel, but I'm not a guy to say "Please meri bandi ban jaa".
I don't have demands like "bandi ki hips itni chaudi honi chahiye or lips itne mote hone chahiye". I would rather go for a loyal girl, who can hold a conversation and have clear communication skills. Also, not a person to hop on the next big deal, I tend to commit and want to know my partner on a deeper level. I expect similar things from my partner. Since I'm not someone who is looking for a hot girl, I'm also someone who doesn't want to build a relationship based on money. Money comes from working hard, and developing skills etc., you can judge me if I'm disciplined at my work or not but I'm not someone who wants to be pursued for how good-looking, rich etc. I am, or you are. Same standards on both sides. This doesn't mean that I do not bring financial stability or anything of that sort. But there is a difference between dating for that job or car and dating the person. That's also true that We can't know at first sight what a person wants but let's say we can at least guess.
So, reflecting on my needs, what sort of person I am etc., I feel like I would rather focus on myself for a while. I don't want to waste time standing on the roadside and asking my female friends to set me up with someone for a short term.
I'm planning to focus on my academics, work, my passion for writing, and mental and physical health and I'd like to build connections with people, irrespective of their gender and without wanting to redeem the connection into some sort of fling. Just platonic, trying to know as many people as people in my surroundings and professional network If someday, I click with someone naturally, it's good otherwise, I don't feel like selling my soul just for a relationship.
My question is- "Am I on the correct Path? Am I missing something in life by focusing on other aspects of life and leaving dating, finding love etc.?"
I'd like to know your views about my plan and would appreciate any suggestions if provided. Would like to know your gender and age, (so that I know where it is coming from) with your response.
Thanks in Advance.
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