Has anyone else had a similar experience?
TLDR: RJ, but turned into a weird game by partners ex. AITA? Have you had any experience with compulsions building over years? How did you overcome them? Have you struggled with RJ and body dysmorphia?
My boyfriend & I have been dating for over 4 years. Whenever we first started dating he showed me a picture of his ex & would talk about his ex gf what felt like me to be all the time. She was in every story he told & every old photo. At the time I had just gotten out of a relationship where the guy was obsessed with and constantly compared me to his ex. This felt kind of normal to me. I began to look at her social media. I wanted to know her and the version of my boyfriend she knew… I was jealous that she was and would always be his first love & first time. I hated that I thought she would always be special to him.
What was RJ turn into something else a year into our relationship, when she called my boyfriend randomly. He didn’t answer, and he immediately blocked her number. Green flags right? Yes, but it also made me wonder what her motives were… did she want him back? Had he done something to make her think he was available? Did he want her back? If she asked for him back, would he go? I began to investigate her on social media, and one time accidentally requested to follow her- I tried to take it back immediately, but she had already seen it.
She knew I was watching and she liked it. She later told me she thought of it like a game, I did too at first. She started communicating with me through the captions of her photos. It was mostly like “Hello,” “Welcome back.” My favorite was “feeling obsessive yet?” This moved from one social media platform to eventually tiktok. I was curious if she was watching me there too, so I thought I would experiment by creating tiktoks with the same sounds to see if she said anything- and it was like… a literal competition for likes. She noticed and she posted about me, multiple times. I blocked her and unblocked her repeatedly (to see if she was posting about me) after this. Apparently I happened to use the same audio as one of her friends, and this deeply offended her- she then decided to reach out to my boyfriend from various phone numbers sending him “proof” that I was copying her, none of which included the parts she played. Most of the videos were trends… My boyfriend didn’t really care about what she had to say but we also never reeeeeally talked about it.
Later I started going to therapy. I wanted to get better I wanted to heal. I felt the need to apologize, so I sent her a message apologizing and requesting her to block me as I thought this would help me. (I did not ask my therapist I probably should have.) Not reply, no block. For a while I was fine, until the thoughts came back. Recently, I clicked on her story on one of the platforms I had her blocked and this caused her to text my boyfriend “proof” that I was looking at her stuff yet again. We were able to talk and I explained this isn’t a game to me and again requested that she block me if she doesn’t want me to view her story or public profiles. Thankfully, she blocked me and apologized for her part in feeding into my compulsions which makes me feel weird…
Since then I have been struggling with not looking… It feels like an itch that needs to be scratched.
Also- I hate myself? Any advice or similar experiences would be greatly appreciated.

The title says it all. I’m 20 (21 in 2 weeks), he was 21.
He moved across the country back in October. A few days ago, he’d gone missing for a day, and we were able to get his location. He was in the woods, and we couldn’t find his gun. The police arrived, and confirmed identity with his wallet. He hadn’t sent any of us a text, no calls, no warnings. One morning I woke up to get ready for work, and then he was gone.
I broke down when hearing the news. I’ve never heard sounds come out of me like that before. You always see posts like that, and think, “yeah, but not me. My friend wouldn’t do that.”
But then it happens. He was depressed for a long time. He’d had attempts, but had never owned a gun until recently. We should have seen the signs.
I flew across the country today to get his things, and bring them back to his family in my state. We were hoping to find something, a final message. We want to check his iCloud for some kind of note, but his phone is with the police, who won’t release it to anyone but family.
I dug through everything in his room. I opened drawer after drawer, file after file on his computer. We tried everything to get into his iCloud. But we need his damn phone.
Until, I looked in a drawer, and moved a shirt. I saw a composite journal, the black and white ones you’d have in school.
He left a very short letter in the journal, saying he loved us and “couldn’t fix these feelings of disappointment”. He was financially destroyed, and it was weighing on him having to ask for funds. I don’t think he realized we’d give him the world, if it meant he kept pushing on.
I sent it to his family, as we all cried together over the phone. Going through his room, I found so many things of his. I truly was able to see his childish side in its brightest light - SpongeBob Lego sets, hot wheels, his resumes that seemed so silly.
I feel destroyed. I’ve been doing so much to inform everyone. I’m the only one here getting his things. I can’t help but see these things, and picture my best friend, hopeless and afraid in the woods. Scared, and tired.
I miss him so much. I can’t stop crying. I feel such a heavy weight on my shoulders, and I don’t know how I can be myself after this.
If anyone has any advice or experience, I need it. I’ve built an album with 600 photos/videos, and I’m not even a 10th of the way through everything.
I just want him back. I love you, brother. Always remember that.

i downloaded chat RTX successfully , but it wont run , I get the error of
httpx.ConnectError: [SSL: CERTIFICATE_VERIFY_FAILED] certificate verify failed: unable to get local issuer certificate (_ssl.c:1007)
and here what does it look like in the web:
and here what look like in app cmd

This site can’t be reached

127.0.0.1 refused to connect.
Try:

• Checking the connection
• [Checking the proxy and the firewall](chrome-error://chromewebdata/#buttons)

ERR_CONNECTION_REFUSEDReloadHide detailsCheck your Internet connectionCheck any cables and reboot any routers, modems, or other network devices you may be using.Allow Chrome to access the network in your firewall or antivirus settings.If it is already listed as a program allowed to access the network, try removing it from the list and adding it again.If you use a proxy server…Check your proxy settings or contact your network administrator to make sure the proxy server is working. If you don't believe you should be using a proxy server: Go to the Chrome menu > Settings > Show advanced settings… > Change proxy settings… > LAN Settings and deselect "Use a proxy server for your LAN".This site can’t be reached
127.0.0.1 refused to connect.
Try:

• Checking the connection
• [Checking the proxy and the firewall](chrome-error://chromewebdata/#buttons)

hope someone can help, Thanks
Environment path found: C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag
Privileges of original process: ['SeShutdownPrivilege', 'SeChangeNotifyPrivilege', 'SeUndockPrivilege', 'SeIncreaseWorkingSetPrivilege', 'SeTimeZonePrivilege']
Privileges of restricted app token: ['SeChangeNotifyPrivilege']
Process Id = 17940
Environment path found: C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag
App running with config
{
"models": {
"supported": [
{
"name": "Mistral 7B int4",
"id": "mistral_model",
"ngc_model_name": "nvidia/llama/mistral-7b-int4-chat:1.2",
"is_downloaded_required": true,
"downloaded": true,
"is_installation_required": true,
"setup_finished": true,
"min_gpu_memory": 8,
"should_show_in_UI": true,
"prerequisite": {
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"license.txt"
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"tokenizer_ngc_dir": "mistral7b_hf_tokenizer",
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"tokenizer": "tokenizer.json",
"model": "tokenizer.model",
"tokenizer_config": "tokenizer_config.json"
},
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"tokenizer_local_dir": "tokenizer",
"engine_build_command": "trtllm-build --checkpoint_dir %checkpoints_local_dir% --output_dir %engine_dir% --gpt_attention_plugin float16 --gemm_plugin float16 --max_batch_size 1 --max_input_len 7168 --max_output_len 1024 --context_fmha=enable --paged_kv_cache=disable --remove_input_padding=disable",
"engine_dir": "engine"
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"metadata": {
"engine": "rank0.engine",
"max_new_tokens": 1024,
"max_input_token": 7168,
"temperature": 0.1,
"prompt_template": "Default"
},
"model_info": "The Mistral-7B is a instruct fine-tuned text generation model License ",
"model_license": " License ",
"model_size": "4GB"
},
{
"name": "Llama2 13B int4",
"id": "llaam2_model",
"ngc_model_name": "nvidia/llama/llama2-13b:1.5",
"is_downloaded_required": true,
"downloaded": false,
"is_installation_required": true,
"setup_finished": false,
"min_gpu_memory": 16,
"should_show_in_UI": false,
"prerequisite": {
"checkpoints_files": [
"config.json",
"rank0.safetensors",
"README.txt",
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"config": "config.json",
"tokenizer": "tokenizer.json",
"model": "tokenizer.model",
"tokenizer_config": "tokenizer_config.json"
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"tokenizer_local_dir": "tokenizer",
"engine_build_command": "trtllm-build --checkpoint_dir %checkpoints_local_dir% --output_dir %engine_dir% --gpt_attention_plugin float16 --gemm_plugin float16 --max_batch_size 1 --max_input_len 3072 --max_output_len 1024 --context_fmha=enable --paged_kv_cache=disable --remove_input_padding=disable",
"engine_dir": "engine"
},
"metadata": {
"engine": "rank0.engine",
"max_new_tokens": 1024,
"max_input_token": 7168,
"temperature": 0.1,
"prompt_template": "Default"
},
"model_info": "LlaMa 2 is a large language AI model capable of generating text and code in response to prompts License ",
"model_license": " License ",
"model_size": "6.8GB"
},
{
"name": "ChatGLM 3 6B int4 (Supports Chinese)",
"id": "chatglm3_model",
"ngc_model_name": "nvidia/chatglm3-6b-chat-int4:1.0",
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"config.json",
"rank0.safetensors",
"license.txt"
],
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"config": "config.json",
"model": "tokenizer.model",
"tokenizer_config": "tokenizer_config.json"
},
"checkpoints_local_dir": "model_checkpoints",
"tokenizer_local_dir": "tokenizer",
"engine_build_command": "trtllm-build --checkpoint_dir %checkpoints_local_dir% --output_dir %engine_dir% --gemm_plugin float16 --max_batch_size 1 --max_input_len 7168 --max_output_len 1024",
"engine_dir": "engine"
},
"metadata": {
"engine": "rank0.engine",
"max_new_tokens": 1024,
"max_input_token": 7168,
"temperature": 0.1
},
"model_info": "ChatGLM-6B is an open bilingual language model based on General Language Model framework, with 6.2 billion parameters License ",
"model_license": " License ",
"model_size": "3.8GB"
},
{
"name": "Gemma 7B int4",
"id": "Gemma_model",
"ngc_model_name": "nvidia/llama/gemma-7b-int4-rtx:1.1",
"is_downloaded_required": true,
"downloaded": false,
"is_installation_required": true,
"setup_finished": false,
"min_gpu_memory": 16,
"should_show_in_UI": false,
"prerequisite": {
"checkpoints_files": [
"config.json",
"rank0.safetensors",
"Prohibited_use_policy.txt",
"license.txt",
"Notice.txt"
],
"tokenizer_ngc_dir": "Gemma7b_hf_tokenizer",
"tokenizer_files": {
"vocab_file": "tmp_vocab.model"
},
"checkpoints_local_dir": "model_checkpoints",
"vocab_local_dir": "tokenizer",
"engine_build_command": "trtllm-build --checkpoint_dir %checkpoints_local_dir% --gemm_plugin float16 --gpt_attention_plugin float16 --max_batch_size 1 --max_input_len 4096 --max_output_len 1024 --output_dir %engine_dir%",
"engine_dir": "engine"
},
"metadata": {
"engine": "rank0.engine",
"max_new_tokens": 1024,
"max_input_token": 7168,
"temperature": 0.1
},
"model_info": "Gemma-7B is a 7B parameter model from Gemma family of models from Google License ",
"model_license": " License ",
"model_size": "6.6GB"
},
{
"name": "CLIP",
"id": "clip_model",
"hf_model_name": "openai/clip-vit-large-patch14-336",
"is_downloaded_required": true,
"downloaded": false,
"download_link": "https ://huggingface.co/openai/clip-vit-large-patch14-336/resolve/main",
"is_installation_required": false,
"setup_finished": false,
"min_gpu_memory": 8,
"should_show_in_UI": true,
"prerequisite": {
"checkpoints_files": [
"README.md",
"config.json",
"merges.txt",
"preprocessor_config.json",
"pytorch_model.bin",
"special_tokens_map.json",
"tokenizer.json",
"tokenizer_config.json",
"vocab.json"
],
"checkpoints_local_dir": "clip_model"
},
"metadata": {},
"model_info": "CLIP is a multi-modal vision and language model used for image-text similarity and for zero-shot image classification License ",
"model_license": " License ",
"model_size": "1.5GB"
}
],
"selected": "Mistral 7B int4",
"enable_asr": true,
"supported_asr": [
{
"name": "Whisper Medium Int8",
"installed": true,
"metadata": {
"encoder_engine": "whisper_encoder_float16_tp1_rank0.engine",
"decoder_engine": "whisper_decoder_float16_tp1_rank0.engine",
"model_path": "model\\whisper\\whisper_medium_int8_engine",
"assets_path": "model\\whisper\\whisper_assets"
}
}
]
},
"sample_questions": [
{
"query": "How does NVIDIA ACE generate emotional responses?"
},
{
"query": "What is Portal prelude RTX?"
},
{
"query": "What is important about Half Life 2 RTX?"
},
{
"query": "When is the launch date for Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart on PC?"
}
],
"sample_questions_chinese": [
{
"query": "NVIDIA ACE是如何生成富有情感的回复的？"
},
{
"query": "传送门：序曲是什么？"
},
{
"query": "半条命 2 RTX版有什么重要意义？"
},
{
"query": "瑞奇与叮当：时空跳转何时会在PC平台发布？"
}
],
"sample_questions_clip": [
{
"query": "Pictures of bicycles"
},
{
"query": "Pictures of toys"
},
{
"query": "Pictures of dinosaurs"
},
{
"query": "Pictures of computer"
}
],
"dataset": {
"sources": [
"directory",
"nodataset"
],
"selected": "directory",
"path": "dataset",
"path_chinese": "chinese_dataset",
"path_clip": "images_dataset",
"isRelative": true
},
"strings": {
"directory": "Folder Path",
"nodataset": "AI model default"
}
}
[TensorRT-LLM] TensorRT-LLM version: 0.9.0
Privileges of app process: ['SeChangeNotifyPrivilege']
C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\langchain\chat_models\__init__.py:31: LangChainDeprecationWarning: Importing chat models from langchain is deprecated. Importing from langchain will no longer be supported as of langchain==0.2.0. Please import from langchain-community instead:
`from langchain_community.chat_models import ChatAnyscale`.
To install langchain-community run `pip install -U langchain-community`.
warnings.warn(
C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\langchain\chat_models\__init__.py:31: LangChainDeprecationWarning: Importing chat models from langchain is deprecated. Importing from langchain will no longer be supported as of langchain==0.2.0. Please import from langchain-community instead:
`from langchain_community.chat_models import ChatOpenAI`.
To install langchain-community run `pip install -U langchain-community`.
warnings.warn(
C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\langchain\embeddings\__init__.py:29: LangChainDeprecationWarning: Importing embeddings from langchain is deprecated. Importing from langchain will no longer be supported as of langchain==0.2.0. Please import from langchain-community instead:
`from langchain_community.embeddings import HuggingFaceBgeEmbeddings`.
To install langchain-community run `pip install -U langchain-community`.
warnings.warn(
C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\langchain\embeddings\__init__.py:29: LangChainDeprecationWarning: Importing embeddings from langchain is deprecated. Importing from langchain will no longer be supported as of langchain==0.2.0. Please import from langchain-community instead:
`from langchain_community.embeddings import HuggingFaceEmbeddings`.
To install langchain-community run `pip install -U langchain-community`.
warnings.warn(
C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\langchain\llms\__init__.py:548: LangChainDeprecationWarning: Importing LLMs from langchain is deprecated. Importing from langchain will no longer be supported as of langchain==0.2.0. Please import from langchain-community instead:
`from langchain_community.llms import AI21`.
To install langchain-community run `pip install -U langchain-community`.
warnings.warn(
C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\langchain\llms\__init__.py:548: LangChainDeprecationWarning: Importing LLMs from langchain is deprecated. Importing from langchain will no longer be supported as of langchain==0.2.0. Please import from langchain-community instead:
`from langchain_community.llms import Cohere`.
To install langchain-community run `pip install -U langchain-community`.
warnings.warn(
C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\langchain\llms\__init__.py:548: LangChainDeprecationWarning: Importing LLMs from langchain is deprecated. Importing from langchain will no longer be supported as of langchain==0.2.0. Please import from langchain-community instead:
`from langchain_community.llms import FakeListLLM`.
To install langchain-community run `pip install -U langchain-community`.
warnings.warn(
C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\langchain\llms\__init__.py:548: LangChainDeprecationWarning: Importing LLMs from langchain is deprecated. Importing from langchain will no longer be supported as of langchain==0.2.0. Please import from langchain-community instead:
`from langchain_community.llms import OpenAI`.
To install langchain-community run `pip install -U langchain-community`.
warnings.warn(
Using the persisted value form dataset_vector_embedding
Open HTTP s://127.0.0.1:48710?cookie=48e206cf-1b47-40a3-a517-ff7f0223f1ed&__theme=dark in browser to start ChatRTX
Running on local URL: HTTP s://127.0.0.1:48710
Traceback (most recent call last):
File "C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\httpx\_transports\default.py", line 69, in map_httpcore_exceptions
yield
File "C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\httpx\_transports\default.py", line 233, in handle_request
resp = self._pool.handle_request(req)
File "C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\httpcore\_sync\connection_pool.py", line 216, in handle_request
raise exc from None
File "C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\httpcore\_sync\connection_pool.py", line 196, in handle_request
response = connection.handle_request(
File "C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\httpcore\_sync\connection.py", line 99, in handle_request
raise exc
File "C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\httpcore\_sync\connection.py", line 76, in handle_request
stream = self._connect(request)
File "C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\httpcore\_sync\connection.py", line 154, in _connect
stream = stream.start_tls(**kwargs)
File "C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\httpcore\_backends\sync.py", line 152, in start_tls
with map_exceptions(exc_map):
File "C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\contextlib.py", line 153, in __exit__
self.gen.throw(typ, value, traceback)
File "C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\httpcore\_exceptions.py", line 14, in map_exceptions
raise to_exc(exc) from exc
httpcore.ConnectError: [SSL: CERTIFICATE_VERIFY_FAILED] certificate verify failed: unable to get local issuer certificate (_ssl.c:1007)
The above exception was the direct cause of the following exception:
Traceback (most recent call last):
File "D:\chatrtx\CRTX\RAG\trt-llm-rag-windows-ChatRTX_0.3\app.py", line 706, in
interface.render()
File "D:\chatrtx\CRTX\RAG\trt-llm-rag-windows-ChatRTX_0.3\ui\user_interface.py", line 426, in render
interface.launch(
File "C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\gradio\blocks.py", line 2209, in launch
httpx.get(
File "C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\httpx\_api.py", line 198, in get
return request(
File "C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\httpx\_api.py", line 106, in request
return client.request(
File "C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\httpx\_client.py", line 827, in request
return self.send(request, auth=auth, follow_redirects=follow_redirects)
File "C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\httpx\_client.py", line 914, in send
response = self._send_handling_auth(
File "C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\httpx\_client.py", line 942, in _send_handling_auth
response = self._send_handling_redirects(
File "C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\httpx\_client.py", line 979, in _send_handling_redirects
response = self._send_single_request(request)
File "C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\httpx\_client.py", line 1015, in _send_single_request
response = transport.handle_request(request)
File "C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\httpx\_transports\default.py", line 232, in handle_request
with map_httpcore_exceptions():
File "C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\contextlib.py", line 153, in __exit__
self.gen.throw(typ, value, traceback)
File "C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\NVIDIA\ChatRTX\env_nvd_rag\lib\site-packages\httpx\_transports\default.py", line 86, in map_httpcore_exceptions
raise mapped_exc(message) from exc
httpx.ConnectError: [SSL: CERTIFICATE_VERIFY_FAILED] certificate verify failed: unable to get local issuer certificate (_ssl.c:1007)
Press any key to continue . . .

I am working a 3rd Shift last minute and I need to prevent crashing!
Psychology student looking to find platonic long-term texting buddies with chill vibes and a judgment-free zone so weirdos welcome!
I'm an open book who is up to take about anything and everything, except for politics aha
(My work schedule is going to be wonky for a little while. Starting Thursday I will be working 9 days straight so if my responses are slow, my apologies in advance.)
Please be respectful and able to keep a conversation. Effort into your first message other than a Hi would be appreciated and recognized
I prefer chat!
Hope you have a good day! Even if you can't don't you dare go messing up someone else's :)

I have a good friend that occasionally, but recently frequently, has been letting me know he’s doing a phone break or something like taking time away from all things tech.
I want to support him because I care if this will help him with whatever personal goals he has, but I also recently have felt discouraged to text him if I want to send him a photo of something I’m doing, seeing, or even just to make plans. I once tried inviting him to an event that was important to me, and when I sent him a text to invite, he never responded, and 3 weeks after the event itself, he finally came back to tell me he was on a phone break. I told him I understood, but it did hurt he didn’t at least send a quick note or something, but then again, I can’t fully understand the depth of someone’s phone break.
After that event, he would send me a text to let me know when he’d be on another phone break, so I just kinda like the message and stay silent until he makes himself known again via a text. Though I appreciate the heads up, it’s starting to make me feel like I could be part of the issue by just texting him, so I’m hesitant to maintain communication with him even after the breaks.
I’m f28 who lives in a city with no immediate family, so I have my phone on me at all times. It’s really a safety tool for me. I’ve never felt like needing to let go of my phone, despite my job revolving around calling clients all day (I’m remote).
Anywho, I’m sure it’s better that I ask him directly (tbh idk what I’d ask!) but unfortunately he just told me a couple days ago he’s on another phone break, so in my mind I think “well, better not text or call until he’s back or decides to reach out to me?” I don’t think we’d stop being friends if we don’t talk for weeks…but also quality time is important to me. Likely I’m overthinking this. What do you all think? He can do his thing, so I guess I just need some perspective. Anything is appreciated, thank you.

So for context, i’ve been on 5 dates with this guy en it all seemed to be going well. He was always very sweet, attentive and quick to show his interest. Last time we saw each other was 6 days ago and last time we spoke was 4 days ago, he liked my message and didn’t continue the conversation further. I normally would just cut my loses but i really want to kill the little part of my brain that’s still hopeful he’ll reach out, as i feel like it only extends the situation and makes it harder to move on. So i was thinking of texting him this: heey so is there gonna be a next time or should i consider myself ghosted
am i being way to confrontational? should i just ignore it and move on?

I’m doing a school project in which we are supposed to choose a text/media form and use it to contribute to a discussion on a more broad topic. The idea is that everyone has a unique perspective which leads to different points being made within the discussion. My group’s broad topic was technology and I figured that the post-apocalyptic + technologically advanced world of horizon ZD was kind of a perfect (albeit pretty extreme) warning for us as technology continues to develop. One problem: I need a quote or two to analyze by later this week and as much as I’d love to, I don’t have the time to speedrun every story mission while taking notes of good quotes, so I’ve decided to turn to the community for help!
TL;DR Does anybody know of any quotes from HZD (FW works too but preferably ZD) which mention the effects of technology within the game and could also be used to give perspective on tech in the real world?
I promise I’m not asking you guys to do the work for me this is just the starting point and I need a little help!!

Don’t you miss these type of texts , whether it‘s from you texting or someone else …“ I Miss you”, “ How was your day or How was Work”, “ I have a surprise for you”, “ I made plans for us” , “ let’s go out this weekend”, “ I can”t wait to see you”, “ What time will you get home or What time do you get off of work “…. And 100,000 other different types of messages of acknowledgment , affection and knowing someone is thinking about you. Maybe not, lol. I am still a hopeless romantic, lol🤣. And Chivalry is not dead! Ok, enough of my sob story.🤣 I just moved into my new place not too long ago, recovering from surgery, going through a whole lot of painful moments and been lonely and sad lately. I could use a friend. Someone to talk to , get to know, maybe become best friends with . I am not looking for anything sexual. Keep your negative comments to yourself. I am kind, sweet, considerate, compassionate, passionate, loving, positive , well… I am a good friend. I love to laugh, go to comedy shows, watch movies and sometimes shows… I am into Marvel and DC everything , MMA, old school WWE , travel, road trips, sporting events, dancing, all kinds of Music, sometimes going to concerts. If you are similar and interested, want to vent, talk, text, cry, yell, I am all ears.
I am not holding my breath.🤣😂 But, it would be nice to hear from you.
Thank you for taking time out of your busy life to read my sob intro, lol.
Take Care

I have been with my partner two years. I’m the past we had issues regarding communication but worked things out or so I thought. But lately I haven’t heard much from them at all. We both work multiple jobs and live about 30 minutes apart. We don’t get to see each other often, usually just a couple times a month.
We have not seen each other since April first but kept in contact via phone/texting daily until the 25th. I have not heard anything from him since then. I am worried I’ve been dumped and they’re just not telling me anything
I started wondering that because I stumbled onto an old Reddit post that I’m sure was made by them due to the ages of the people listed in the post and the screen name. It’s a post that’s several months old dating back to august of last year. But even though we’ve both improved as people there were things in that post that were very hurtful and it makes me wonder if I screwed up in sone way and now we are on the rocks again but they’ve just decided to act like I don’t exist and ghost instead of breaking up with me.
We have gone for a few days at a time without texting each other. He seems pretty overwhelmed by work and a few weeks ago apologized for not responding to a text I sent and said he wasn’t mad at me at all it was just work. But after reading that old post from august I’m wondering if he sees me that way now.
I have tried reaching out and asking them if they want space or if they’re just busy but no response. That was several hours ago but the message was opened.
I don’t know what is going on or what to do because after I came out he was the only person who didn’t immediately ditch me. I’ve been disowned by my family and have no friends left at this point and I am afraid I lost the only person I have left.

This might be a long one..
Me (M 31) and my sister (F 29) have been raised in an emotionally unstable household. My mother has the emotional intelligence of a toddler and is unable to cope with conflict and uneasiness. She and my father would get in the same fight over and over and over again, without ever resolving it. They could fight/shout/scream during dinner, but be all fine and pretend like nothing ever happened during dessert. If my mom was upset, my father was rarely there to console her (or he was the reason she was upset). I took it as my job (being 7-8 years old) to console my mother. I learned that her problems are my problems, and therefore there is no room for my own problems.
My sister coped with this situation in the opposite direction: no problems are ever her problem. This also fitted nicely with me, so I could make her problems my problem. I "protected" her from dealing with my mom, defending her when she did stupid things. Merging our friendgroups so I could keep an eye out.
Fast forward 20 years and those believes have been thourougly ingrained in my system. I have been through 2 years of therapy to lift the covers and see where all the indecisiveness, self-doubt, self-hatred and suppressedness came from.
I met my wife (F 30) seven years ago. She and my family got along well in the beginning, but she saw (before I did) how I suffered under the pressure of always taking the fall and protecting my mom and sister. Whenever there was a discussion or a dispute, I always took the side of my family, even when it was obvious for an outsider they where in the wrong. During the pandemic, my sister was in the secret-parties-lifestyle. Me and my wife are healthcare workers and saw people dying all over the places. This started to place a wedge between my wife and my sister.
One evening they had an argument where my sister insulted my wife (calling her egotistical for being pissed of that a lot of other people would be present in my sisters house when we would visit). One or two days later she wanted to talk about it with my sister, to settle things and continue. But my sister felt no need. Feeded by never having learned from our parents how to resolve conflict + how is our fight my problem?, she felt no need to apoligize for the insults and just continue on with life. And me? I took my sisters side, like I always had. Explained her behavior, downgrading the problem, asking my (then girlfriend) to step over her hurt feelings.
This pattern has continued over the years. My sister would show behavior that frustrated/upset/insulted my wife, feeling no need to apologize, and me protecting her. Whenever I disagreed with something my parents or sister did, my wife was the one vocalizing it. She got blaimed for a lot of stuff.. A few times I mustered the courage to confront my sister, but then she'd tell me I don't need to make a fuss about it, there is no problem, it's on me and my wife.. In hindsight it felt quite manipulaitve. It took a lot of conversations, some fights and two years of therapy for me to finally be able to see what was going on.
One and a half year ago my wife was fed up after my sister told her that she had no intention to talk to her in whatever fashion and that she only wanted tot discuss her problems with my wife with me. My wife did not want to see my sister again. Me, now able to not defend my sister, agreed. But I was not yet emotionally able to confront my sister with her behavior. It took 9 months of ignoring my sister without explanation until my sister found out she was not invited to our birthday and I had to confess I was avoiding her because she crossed a line.
My sister was furious she found out 9 months after the inciting incident. I admitted that I was to scared to tell her and was in therapy to get over this fear. I believe we both agreed to stay out of touch until I was ready to discuss this properly. But at our grandfathers funeral 2 weeks later, she was furious with me not reaching out immediately again. She pushed me away in front of my grandfathers coffin and stated that my wife was not welcome. This pissed me off a hell of a lot, and felt no need to talk to her.
But, me and my wife got pregnant, so I had to say something. After a lot of pressure from my parents, I send her a (admittedly emotionally chaotic) email in which I tried to explain some of my behavior and yeah by the way I am becoming a father. Two months ago I had two long conversations with her, explaining where my behavior comes from, my fears, my therapy, my exploring who I am and what I want (love you Iroh). She listened, but was hurt a lot. My sister had made a teeny tiny gesture to my wife to make amends with me (not her, she explicitely stated both to my wife and me), which my wife rejected, still being furious for all the pain my sister had caused. My sister stated that she would not initiate contact for the rejection of the amend hurt her very much.
And now, it is silent. My wife is due in 7 weeks. My sisters birthday is coming up which I have never ignored in 30 years. And I feel very little intention to take a step/send her a message.
Am I in the wrong for still feeling upset, hurt and therefore ignoring my sister and not initiating contact?

Tl;dr please open my eyes, I know what she’s doing, but I am seriously trapped
I’ve known this person for 3 years now.. of which we dated until she kicked me out last October, after throwing my things out and telling me she wish she could legally hit me. My mother recently got diagnosed with ovarian cancer which has caused so much shock for my family and I. I am unfortunately disabled so I’m not really able to see my mother very often but I love her dearly and this has turned my world upside down. After getting my own apartment, I got until this March before becoming so sad and lonely due to the bad news that I gave in and texted her, she did end up going to the mental hospital and spamming me with emails/numbers before/during/after that I gave no attention to. I don’t know anyone here because I moved here from Colorado when I was 13 and lost all my friends / never really made any new ones because I was so shy and awkward. She didn’t really allow me to have friends the last few years we were together and she was kicking me out so often, leaving me stranded in other cities without my phone/wallet/food for almost 2 days, which all caused such intense stress on me that I developed stress induced chronic gastritis. I was already previously disabled before this from a TBI that I’ve managed quite well for someone dealing with recovering from a TBI in physical/vocational/occupational therapies while also dealing with the high amounts of pressure/anxiety/stress she’d put me through. However I am so lonely, so lost, so empty and overall my symptoms for many things are flaring bad because of my mother’s cancer. I let her back because I’m genuinely too weak to face this on my own, and she recently, in one of her first few extreme breaking of boundaries, said she “hopes my mothers funeral goes well,” then justified it by saying she was being genuine, however then she proceeded to say “it was for attention, I wanted you to text me, I obviously wasn’t going to be at the funeral so I was hoping it doesn’t go bad” and obviously this was all to cover up the fact that she knows she’s making me think of something fragile to me that I really don’t want to think about or will make me very very sad to hear right now.. and now whenever I see her I just pretend I’ve let it go.. and I really try but this time I don’t know how to let this go.. I see her, I grit my teeth, pretend she never said anything, do whatever to distract myself from the thoughts about it, get sad that my only option when it comes to someone to lean on right now is someone who I know will make me think about it and despise when I let her justify it because I genuinely am too weak and lonely to pull away or handle change. I don’t need advice on knowing how to detect anything, I know it’s a long shot expecting anyone to read all of this, but I need to be forced to leave at this point and I don’t know how to really handle it or go about it when no matter what all I know is I can’t handle more loss/grief right now when I’m dealing with so much in the denial stage of things, idk if I can really emotionally handle both of these things and in Illinois I have no idea what she’s legally allowed to do or not here, I know she refuses to leave my apartment whenever I tell her calmly that I’m out of social energy for the day, to a point where I just let her sleep here frequently because it’s easier than arguing for her to leave which she says is all legal but just seems contradictory to her constantly kicking me out before when I was still living with her so I don’t know what’s legal or not anymore or how to make friends to help me with her and my mom somehow when I feel like that will destroy me worse. I told her from the beginning I didn’t have the emotional capacity to start dating again, that I just wanted a friend. We are still not dating, never were, but she treats me all the same and she was originally understanding, literally in the beginning of me talking to her I set boundaries and we agreed about how/why I would have had a hard time texting her again had I not just received news that, before texting her, already left and leaves me almost immobile due to the shock which socialization helps with for me. She was always acting like she understood that but I mean do I seriously deserve to feel these ways or think about her funeral at all right now? I am trapped in the dark at this point

this is just a really really long rant. i met my best friend just about a year ago. at first, we didn't talk a lot. we had mutual friends and were in the same groups/activities, but we had little reason to interact. only around january was when we started to get close. we were on a trip for highschool theatre and had a impromptu gift secret santa (yes, in the middle of january. we were bored!) he saw me looking at a board game i really liked and bought it because he had me. it meant a lot to me that he even noticed that. we text literally everyday, and even though i very clearly have less money than him, he doesn't care. i've never met someone who is so similar to me and yet balances me out.
every day that i see him is a good day. i genuinely think of him as my brother, refer to him as my brother to our other friends, and even his contact is a reference to that. there isn't a day that goes by where i do not think of him. i see something that reminds me of him? i send a picture to him. i inadvertently gain the interests he has without even realizing it half of the time. he influences like, 90% of my music taste.
i wish he knew how wonderful of a human being he was. he's so intelligent, thoughtful, and sensitive. i knew that before i even became friends with him. i will never ever get bored of him. the only thing about him that makes me upset is the fact that he's graduated and going to college while i'll still be in highschool.
while there's only a 1% chance he will even see this (although he is on reddit)
logan, here is a message to you:
there is no one in the world who could replace the space you take up in my brain and my heart. that is a promise. if plato's "symposium" is true, you are 100% the other half of me. my twin flame. our stardust came from the same exploded star.

Ignoring/avoiding my sister

This might be a long one..
Me (M 31) and my sister (F 29) have been raised in an emotionally unstable household. My mother has the emotional intelligence of a toddler and is unable to cope with conflict and uneasiness. She and my father would get in the same fight over and over and over again, without ever resolving it. They could fight/shout/scream during dinner, but be all fine and pretend like nothing ever happened during dessert. If my mom was upset, my father was rarely there to console her (or he was the reason she was upset). I took it as my job (being 7-8 years old) to console my mother. I learned that her problems are my problems, and therefore there is no room for my own problems.
My sister coped with this situation in the opposite direction: no problems are ever her problem. This also fitted nicely with me, so I could make her problems my problem. I "protected" her from dealing with my mom, defending her when she did stupid things. Merging our friendgroups so I could keep an eye out.
Fast forward 20 years and those believes have been thourougly ingrained in my system. I have been through 2 years of therapy to lift the covers and see where all the indecisiveness, self-doubt, self-hatred and suppressedness came from.
I met my wife (F 30) seven years ago. She and my family got along well in the beginning, but she saw (before I did) how I suffered under the pressure of always taking the fall and protecting my mom and sister. Whenever there was a discussion or a dispute, I always took the side of my family, even when it was obvious for an outsider they where in the wrong. During the pandemic, my sister was in the secret-parties-lifestyle. Me and my wife are healthcare workers and saw people dying all over the places. This started to place a wedge between my wife and my sister.
One evening they had an argument where my sister insulted my wife (calling her egotistical for being pissed of that a lot of other people would be present in my sisters house when we would visit). One or two days later she wanted to talk about it with my sister, to settle things and continue. But my sister felt no need. Feeded by never having learned from our parents how to resolve conflict + how is our fight my problem?, she felt no need to apoligize for the insults and just continue on with life. And me? I took my sisters side, like I always had. Explained her behavior, downgrading the problem, asking my (then girlfriend) to step over her hurt feelings.
This pattern has continued over the years. My sister would show behavior that frustrated/upset/insulted my wife, feeling no need to apologize, and me protecting her. Whenever I disagreed with something my parents or sister did, my wife was the one vocalizing it. She got blaimed for a lot of stuff.. A few times I mustered the courage to confront my sister, but then she'd tell me I don't need to make a fuss about it, there is no problem, it's on me and my wife.. In hindsight it felt quite manipulaitve. It took a lot of conversations, some fights and two years of therapy for me to finally be able to see what was going on.
One and a half year ago my wife was fed up after my sister told her that she had no intention to talk to her in whatever fashion and that she only wanted tot discuss her problems with my wife with me. My wife did not want to see my sister again. Me, now able to not defend my sister, agreed. But I was not yet emotionally able to confront my sister with her behavior. It took 9 months of ignoring my sister without explanation until my sister found out she was not invited to our birthday and I had to confess I was avoiding her because she crossed a line.
My sister was furious she found out 9 months after the inciting incident. I admitted that I was to scared to tell her and was in therapy to get over this fear. I believe we both agreed to stay out of touch until I was ready to discuss this properly. But at our grandfathers funeral 2 weeks later, she was furious with me not reaching out immediately again. She pushed me away in front of my grandfathers coffin and stated that my wife was not welcome. This pissed me off a hell of a lot, and felt no need to talk to her.
But, me and my wife got pregnant, so I had to say something. After a lot of pressure from my parents, I send her a (admittedly emotionally chaotic) email in which I tried to explain some of my behavior and yeah by the way I am becoming a father. Two months ago I had two long conversations with her, explaining where my behavior comes from, my fears, my therapy, my exploring who I am and what I want (love you Iroh). She listened, but was hurt a lot. My sister had made a teeny tiny gesture to my wife to make amends with me (not her, she explicitely stated both to my wife and me), which my wife rejected, still being furious for all the pain my sister had caused. My sister stated that she would not initiate contact for the rejection of the amend hurt her very much.
And now, it is silent. My wife is due in 7 weeks. My sisters birthday is coming up which I have never ignored in 30 years. And I feel very little intention to take a step/send her a message.
Am I in the wrong for still feeling upset, hurt and therefore ignoring my sister and not initiating contact?

Oh, very long post. Sorry.
Hello, everyone! I know it’s been a while. Being completely honest with you, I am not okay… well, I’m feeling better now. I’ve been feeling horrible, hella anxious, and, yeah, depressed. I don’t even know how to start this post or how to explain what has happened. Maybe it’s really nothing, but it took a toll on my mental health.
Thank you for all your comments and messages. For real, thank you for your concern. It wasn’t my intention to worry you all, but yeah, I wasn’t having a great time. I’m still fighting against my own demons, but it’s all better now. So, thank you, really. I appreciate it so much. I wish we all could go out for a coffee in real life or something.
I’ll let you know what has happened.
A lot of things happened around Mother’s Day, and it brought up old feelings and bad impulses against myself that I had left long in the past. There was a day when I simply didn’t want to exist anymore, to say it kindly. I know my hormones are not being helpful, and the only feeling I can trust right now is my love for hubby and baby and our upcoming little girls. I honestly don’t know what I would do without them. They are my entire world and universe. They simply save me. And I need to be strong for these babies, they are not doing so well. Maybe that’s also part of what made me feel so down like this.
I was already feeling down a few days before Mother’s Day and didn’t feel like celebrating. I know my mom had betrayed me and done unforgivable things up to that point, but I couldn’t help but feel sad because… well, I no longer have a mom. I asked the aunties and grauntie not to acknowledge the day for me, and they understood. Grauntie did call me early in the morning, and it made me sob hard, we talked for about an hour, so go figure. Hubby and I got her a big gift to show our appreciation and gratitude because he says she has also stood as a mother figure for him during these chaotic months. Oh, yea, grauntie is a great woman, and she laughed so much about her nickname, btw, she loves it. Baby calls her that now, well “grantie.” Aunties started saying happy mother’s day the next day lol.
Anyway, hubby didn’t let the day pass for me. He brought me breakfast in bed, he cooked all day, and since we decided to stay home, he brought healthy junk food (approved by my doctors, he made sure about that) for us to stay in bed, or on the couch, watching movies, Bluey, and a marathon of my shitty show that he doesn’t like (but he enjoys in secret lol). He gave me some presents and flowers that baby picked herself. I don’t know when this man took the time to also help baby make a craft for me without me noticing. It was very cute. We decided to stay home, turn the lights off, and stay upstairs pretending we weren’t really there. We both couldn’t help but be concerned and a bit anxious about ILs showing up. We stayed locked upstairs just resting, snuggling, and cuddling.
I will try to summarize what happened when they showed up.
Baby was taking a nap in her room, and we were into our own stuff when they interrupted. We tried to ignore them, but MIL kept insisting, saying she knew we were home. She kept ringing the bell and then knocking on the door. They claimed they were visiting us because we couldn’t attend her reunion. It was only MIL and SIL (not beast SIL), and they were carrying bowls with food. Later I noticed it was only food they know I am allergic to or that I don’t like. After some minutes, we decided to just get rid of them. Hubby changed and went downstairs to warn them he was calling the police (he did that for proof that he asked them to leave, knowing they were not going to go away). MIL was very calm and kept saying shit, but hubby didn’t engage in her conversation. Important information: she asked a lot about me and baby, about our safety. I stayed upstairs, and peeking through the window, I noticed their car was parked on the other side of the street, out of the range of our door cam. Fucking creepy BIL was inside, I guess waiting for them.
I picked up my phone to take a picture of him and I had some unread texts from good SIL warning us ILs were coming and saying things like “be careful,” blah blah. She also said good BIL was heading over here so he could help take them out of our place, I guess. I gotta give points in favor of BIL because he stood up for hubby and even called their mother a liar.
So, we called the police on them, but they also called the police on us, on hubby. Fucking idiots. Fucking MIL. They called the police on hubby saying they believed there was a case of domestic violence happening in our house. They said we didn’t open the door and they were scared because they suspected I’ve been in danger and they hadn’t heard my voice or baby inside. To this point, we are not sure who made the call, but I believe it was creeypy BIL. Hubby had to open the door to talk to the officers, I also had to go out because they wanted to speak to me. Mind you, I was so stressed and just wanted to help hubby with the bullshit that I didn’t realize I was only wearing a top and leggings because, mind you again, I was comfy in my house before they decided to arrive. So, yea, they saw my belly and they officially know that I am pregnant. I, somehow, feel so violated by them knowing. Ugh, fucking idiot creepy BIL’s face and smirk and his eyes all over me still give me the chills. Good BIL had arrived at this point too, so he also saw me but his reaction was the most normal of all. I guess he just got sad. I know he wanted to get close to me but he didn’t dare. Good, I guess.
A female officer separated me from the drama and asked me a bunch of questions in private. I brought her inside the house because baby was still sleeping upstairs. She kept glaring around, like looking for something suspicious, I suppose. The other officer talked with hubby and with a neighbor and he very soon concluded the accusations were all bullshit. They just asked to check on baby because MIL kept insisting. We had to explain that baby was actually her grandkid because she kept asking about her daughter, I just wanted to punch her in the face. I went to pick baby up, she was still asleep, and the cop I was talking with was nice enough to keep both of us inside the house. Baby ended up waking up and crying with all the trouble from outside, anyway. MIL heard her crying and she lost her calm, started to raise her voice. I couldn’t control myself and I poked my head out and told MIL that of course, baby was crying and it was all her fault, and I called her a bitch 🙄 This led to a verbal fight, just imagine everyone involved… and the cops. SIL was crying. I stayed inside but close enough to the door because I was worried about hubby. I overheard him asking if it was done and if he could go inside with us. They were leaving, officers were making them go away but MIL couldn’t just leave without causing more distress and told hubby she wished I bleed out and die while giving birth and that she hopes my baby is not his (because they changed the game, now I am the cheater). I instinctively opened the door to stop hubby from reacting but he was just there standing and staring at her. Ok, background: I had preeclampsia when baby was born, then after being sent home I got very ill and had to be rushed to the hospital because I got an infection. Hubby and everyone got super worried when I had to go back to the hospital. It was bad. Hubby thought the worst and he obviously talked with MIL about it, back at the time so yeah, she knew where to hurt him. Hubby said to good BIL something like “yes, this is the family you keep choosing.” He was like in shock. Hubby and I just went back inside and we hugged. Good BIL tried to talk to us but we ignored him, I know he was upset. He recently sent me a text I haven’t answered back. I have seen hubby sad and vulnerable, but the only time I’ve seen him actually cry was when his father passed away. This time he cried too and couldn’t let us go an inch away from him. I held back my tears. We were very jumpy and uncomfortable so we took some blankets and went to sleep in the other house. There’s no furniture, no lights, and no water yet in my dad’s house but it was better to know we were nowhere to be found. It was like camping for baby, she even asked for vampire stories that we invented for her right there. Then, hubby and I just hugged and cried our eyes out to sleep. I was simply angry and sad and upset that they took away our peace. I cried because this bitch keeps hurting my family, because they are making us run away from our own house, from wverything we have built and for what!? I am thankful we have my dad’s house to escape but it brings me bad memories and I also got a bit triggered that night, I guess. We talked a lot that night and we came to the same conclusion: the only thing that matters is that we have each other and we will never let them win.
No, it wasn’t enough for a RO. Police didn’t want to try for charges because all they saw was a family drama, which it was if you see it as an isolated incident. No, they didn’t go against the beats RO. We told and showed and give everythign to our lawyer.
Then my mom happened. I had a few voicemails from her, and I was weak, so I listened to them. This happened the next day. I waited for hubby so I wouldn’t have to listen to them alone. This was the biggest mistake of my life. We planned to have a nice dinner at home to save Mother’s Day and as an excuse to have a date but I ruined it all. I don’t know why I listened to all of them. She started all calm, victimizing herself but calm. She said happy Mother's Day to me, started to talk about baby, about me, and about my brother. She said she is very sad to be a mother without her kids. She said it would be easier if we were dead (yes, she said that), she would cope better with that truth. It escalated with each voicemail, to the point where she blamed me for what happened with her POS boyfriend and me. I had never heard her say something like this to me while growing up. Never. She claims she’s now all lonely because of me. She said she should have aborted me when she had the chance, as my dad suggested. This… I made me go numb. She accused me of seducing this man and that’s why he fell for me. Only thing I can think is that this POS has been manipulating her, idk but it hurt like hell. She told me that I should have stopped him. She blamed me too because, after that incident, she had lost all opportunities to recover her relationship with my dad. She then basically said our dad never really loved me and my brother, and that’s why he left and never came back. I started to spiral and, well, I barely remember my dad since they divorced. He came back when everything exploded, but before that… I don’t really have memories. I don’t know, she made me question a lot of things. Her tone was calm and sweet, which made it worse. She didn’t use the words or phrasing I am using right now either, her discourse made sense, this is basically what she meant. Of course, she also called me a bad mom too, and I couldn’t help but think about all the things good SIL said about baby and how I didn’t notice it. I started to blame myself for the condition of my baby twins. I am not a bad mom, I know that, but it got me right there. I thought about baby being bullied by her cousins, about MIL throwing up the food I packed for her right in front of her, about our little baby eating food from the floor and trembling because she was frightened. I can’t take out of my mind the image of baby trembling. And I cried as I hadn’t cried in a while. And then I started to remember a lot of other things about my life. I questioned myself again if my mom ever really loved us because growing up, it felt like she did, and I was so grateful I had my mom with me because she was by my side all the time after the POS happened. She was there when I started to struggle in my teens, when I wanted to die, when I started to hurt myself. My dad was there too, and I have beautiful memories with him, he stood for us, I became really close to him, he helped us a lot during that time, but there are a lot of blank spaces where he’s not around. He got another girlfriend, and that time he stayed close to us in the same city but he stopped visiting. Until we went to college, he got together with his current wife, and flew away. He was there if we ever needed money, he paid for our education, but I never reached out to him asking for any other type of help. We barely talked, I tell you he didn’t even knew hubby or baby. To be fair, he was comming over for our wedding but we had to cancel it because of covid. I kept spiraling about it. I got tangled in my mom’s words. I remembered the POS boyfriends I had and how I let them mistreat me, do whatever they wanted to do with me. I let that happen, but I now realize my mom was comfortable with it. I got over that and stopped letting it happen because of the aunties and therapy. Not my proudest moment, but I broke my phone after listening to all her audios.
My train of thought ended up the same: I am so, so thankful I met hubby, and the only thing that matters is that we have each other. Hubby and baby and the twins are the only things that kept me alive these days. They are my world. Still, I was/am? dealing with urges to hurt myself. It’s alright when I am with the baby, it’s alright when I am with hubby, but night time and the moment I open my eyes in the morning… it has been tough. My mom put me in a very bad place. I let her put me in a very bad place again, but it will be the last time. She won’t take the good from me. No way. Hubby says she’s trying to isolate me and he might be right but she won’t get it.
Hubby says I should talk with my dad. I’ve been very distant with him lately, and I know he can feel it. I want to talk with him too about this, but I don’t even know what to say. I miss the aunties, I’ve been distant with them too. Last weekend, hubby and I went out to eat with one of them (the auntie that wrote the text when I told them I’m pregnant) and her husband. It was nice, we had fun. I’m telling them it is two girls this week. I didn’t want to tell them before because I am really scared about my babies. They are a bit smaller than they should be, and even if they are just supposed to be small babies, it worries me, it is not good for twins. Also, they suspect baby B has a heart condition :( I told this to the auntie, she’s the only one of the group that knows about all the difficulties of my pregnancy, and it helps a lot that she knows. I can’t help to be worried, but I can be positive and happy and excited for them. I have to be positive and happy and excited for them. I know the love aunties will give them even in my womb is much needed now. And hubby and I are doing and will do whatever it takes to keep them safe.
So, I said fuckyoumom and changed my mood, Hubby was worried because we really don’t have ANYTHING for the twins, and we are also in the process of moving. He had tried to convinced me to start looking for stuff to clear my mind but I wasn’t in the mood. Well, we finally started to look for cribs now (very difficult task tbh) and we bought their first onesies :) I’m letting the aunties shop for them too now (they’ve been insisting a lot lol) and it is very funny when they start sending pictures of plushies or toys or clothes (I love them because they keep thinking about the big sister). They are still trying to win points to be the godmothers lmao. I called grauntie last week and apologized for not being so communicative lately, and she started to come over again during the mornings, she’s been helping me with house shores and with my feelings. This has also helped hubby a lot because he was worried I was home alone. I cried so much with grauntie about my mom, and she showed me some of her Facebook posts. I just wish she would stop posting baby’s pictures. Grauntie also encouraged me to talk to my dad. And we went out to look for baby stuff together. She also knows about my pregnancy problems, but she’s confident we all will be alright.
The most important thing of all: we told baby she’s going to be a big sister :) She believed my belly was growing because I ate a watermelon seed lol If you want to know her reaction, I’ll make another post about it because I don’t want to mix it with all the shit above.
We ended up having a late Mother’s Day (also a pretext to be close to each other) the next Sunday after the actual day. It was nice and it cheered me up. It was a surprise from hubby.
My car is all fixed now and bills were sent to the beast family but they haven’t paid. We have the RO but the idea of them still scares me a bit from time to time. We’ve been calm these days at home but we have been going to visit the other house from time to time to get used to it. We’ve been planning where to place our furniture and how to decorate just to clear our minds. Hubby said maybe we will be able to start moving in a week and a half or two complete weeks. Yup, we’re moving even if we only have our bed there. I have mixed feelings about it but I know it’s for the best.
What his family and my mom don’t realize is that their bullshit only makes hubby and me stronger as a couple. He relies on me and I rely on him, we don’t fall. We always come to the same conclusion that we are simply meant to be together and for our kids. I can feel how our love and respect to each other grows stronger. And I am holding tight to this. As I said before, the only feeling I can really trust right now is my love for my little (and growing) family. The love they give me is something I have never doubt, not even in my darkest moments. I still have urges from time to time, I feel anxious and sometimes I can’t sleep as right now but all this love keeps me sane within my not so sane moments. I’m alright, I’m getting better (also yes, I’m going to therapy and having more sessions than usual).
I know I always say this but I can’t be thankful enough for hubby… You know? Hubby always says that I saved him, but I believe it is the opposite.
We’re going to be alright. I have always known that.
And I’m back hehe

I recently have opened instagram to find that my page is not loading at all. Cant view posts, stories, DMs, nothing. There is a message at the bottom of my screen that pops up repeatedly that says “we’re sorry, but something went wrong. Please try again” at first I suspected they flagged me for bot activity for unliking posts and removing comments from the past, but so far I have not gotten any sort of message, pop up, email, text, anything saying that my account is disabled. It has been around 48 hours since I have discovered this. I’m thinking maybe someone reported me for a comment, because I probably have made comments with curse words and whatnot, but the least they could do is tell me what is going on. PLEASE HELP!!! If someone else has experienced something similar tell me how to fix and if it is a punishment tell me how long it lasts. Thank you
Edit: I have tried everything on my end. uninstalled, refreshed, logged out, everything. Also, When my friends look at my account, everything appears to be normal.

I started to have doubt on the lease I signed two months ago... Can anyone tell me if this looks like a scam? And what should I do? Here's what happened.
In April, I was desperately looking for a condo that I can move into in June, because my current lease ends in June and I've told my current leasing office that I am not renewing.
I found this condo on Apartment.com, it has everything I need, and it's only 20 minutes away. I sent a message to the owner, and me met up couple days later. He showed me the condo. There was a girl living in the condo but she was packing. And the owner showed me each room and told me he will get new washedryer before I move in... So I thought okay, I saw the condo, so it's probably not a scam.
And then I also googled the owner, who claims to be an attorney. Although it doesn't look like he's a famous one but I did find his LinkedIn and his info on Lawyers.com.
There are also a lot of requirements for leasing the condo, like background check, a minimum credit score of 720. I read the lease and found that it also put more maintenance responsibilities on tenant than a regular lease you get from those apartment complex. And so I thought okay this looks legit.
And so the owner and I met in a Starbucks, and we both signed the lease. He told me I need to send tenant application to the apartment complex and to the county, so we need to meet again and give him those documents before the move in date. I also paid 3k for deposit and first month rent to him on zelle that day.
And then I got busy so I didn't try to do the tenant application thing until early May, and that's when I noticed that I can't do these forms myself, they need more information than I have, owner signature for example. So I texted the owner, he didn't response for like two weeks. And then I finally got his message last week, he said he's busy working, traveling around, and he would call me last week, he also asked me if I call the apartment, and I told him I haven't.
And then... He didn't call. I tested him again during memorial day weekend, but so far no response.
I don't know... Is this a scam? Should I go to police and start to find another apartment?
Thank you.

Messages:
Me: I like the new hair color, it looks really pretty
Her: thank you! I kept getting made fun of it so it's nice to hear🤦🏽‍♀️
Me: Idk what they're talking abouts I thought it complemented your eyes and suits you, if you're down I was thinking we should get to know each other a little better
Context;
The person I texted was someone my friends knew but I only knew of them but didn't know them. I thought she was hot so l decided to reply to her story— it was about her changing her hair color and saying how she missed her old hair. My friend told me this would be rizz if I sent her the latest message on the screen . After 2 hr's, some of my other friends told me that she was talking to someone and said my message was crap and cringy. She still hasn't responded and it's been 3 hours. How cooked am I? Also* she's friends with a lot of girls I know.

Hi!
I understand how to revise the situation, but does anyone have a good tip on how to revise text message?
I am not able to SEE the text. Can I think that its text but just hear the words?
Does anyone have experience?

Messages:
Me: I like the new hair color, it looks really pretty
Her: thank you! I kept getting made fun of it so it’s nice to hear 🤦🏽‍♀️
Me: Idk what they’re talking about😂 I thought it complemented your eyes and suits you, if you’re down I was thinking we should get to know each other a little better
Context; The person I texted was someone my friends knew but I only knew of them but didn’t know them. I thought she was hot so I decided to reply to her story—— it was about her changing her hair color and saying how she missed her old hair. My friend told me this would be rizz if I sent her the latest message on the screen . After 2 hr’s, some of my other friends told me that she was talking to someone and said my message was crap and cringy. She still hasn’t responded and it’s been 3 hours. How cooked am I? Also* she’s friends with a lot of girls i kinda know.