Eulogy for brother in law

I wanted to put if out there to get some feedback.
A few years ago my parent formed a friendship with a couple. Let's call them Coby and Carl. Eventually this couple asked if they could work on their own projects on the family farm, including keeping animals here. What resulted from the situation was their neglect of the animals (on their part, I was stuck feeding and cleaning them), leaving their projects unfinished, & borrowing tools and other equipment and damaging them. They were asked multiple times to correct their errors but refused. The situation ended chaotically.
A little backstory: At the time I was single and living at home with my parent. My parent was unable live independently due to chonic pain, and before back to back surgeries for multiple reasons i was doing the housework/cooking, working as a nurse, and in school. My parent was in and out of the hospital between these surgeries for heart problems. My parent has always been very independent and was often resentful they could not do as they wanted due to chronic pain. During this time my brother passed of cancer, and that loss significantly impacted my parent, as they ended up with a charge for a DUI that costed them their drivers license for 18 months. During this time i was also responsible for driving my parent to appointments or any outings. Work for the outside on our property was hired through another family friend.
Coby and Carl were nice at first, but eventually it became clear that they had no respect for anything. They would abandon their own projects, left our yard a mess (neighbors complained), and refused to acknowledge what was going on. This led to a disagreement, and I told them to get their stuff together and to stop coming here, as they were no longer welcome due to their behavior.
This led to chaos. To summarize shortly after i told them thay they needed to vacate our property, Coby used his partners truck to force me off the road near a bend where I almost lost control of my vehicle. I did not have a dash camera and i had 0 witnesses (I was driving alone). I was clear to both Coby and Carl afterwards that i would contact law enforcement if something else reckless and stupid was attempted like this, ever. This did deter Coby and Carl for a while.
After, Carl would blast anyone ( including my own family) who would listen that I was crazy and unstable and making up what happened. The entire situation was painful. Basically, Carl was able to cause a lack of faith from some of my own family members, and even disrupted a few of my friendships. Carl was likely on the defense for his partner, but his own lack of accountability for his actions of breaking things, telling me that I should "lighten up", and keep my nose out of his doings on my families property, and acting like his actions didn't have any consequences was too much. I'm not sure what gave him the idea that he could continue his behavior, and the entitlement was unbelievable. Eventually, Carl realized he didn't have the same grip he did before, and likely out of boredom (we stopped talking and I cut out all contact) he stopped coming around.
This entire situation exhausted me, I needed time to heal, so I made plans. My parent had recovered from their final surgery and was able to walk, and pain management was improved. I secured a better job and moved in with friends for a year.
(When I was not living with my parent, I arranged for them to have help at home, I called my parent weekly, saw them for Sunday dinners at my cousins house, and maintained a decent but removed relationship from them. This helped us to repair a lot of the things between us.)
This went on for a year until I relocated to another province for work, but due to financial reasons I have moved back home with my parent. This economy is absolutely brutal. My parent and I are on better terms, and we have reconciled. I have been and always will be very grateful for everything they have done for me despite anything that has happend, we are family.
What i want feedbacm on is what happens when Coby and Carl learn that I'm back in the area? Will there be an attempt to do something to hurt any progress I have made in my life? Specifically, I am concerned about another attempt to force me into a ditch, as well as any attacks on my credibility. I don't want to lose anymore friends or have anymore painful remarks from people I care about (who eventually came around to my side of things.)
Before the incident with Coby, he had followed my vehicle too closely in the past on a common stretch of road our driveway ajoins to, and had a terrible attitude when I asked him to stop doing this. If I spoke up about it sooner I could have prevented him from attempting what he did. I can be a bit of a doormatt and it takes me time to stand up for myself.
As a result of the experience, I have some unresolved trauma. There are cameras on our property, and I have a dash cam. I'm careful, I don't go out after dark, and I call friends and tell them where I am. Yes, my parent is aware of what happend. I don't know what else I can do to protect myself.
I currently reside in the province of Ontario, and from what I am aware of Coby and Carl still reside in a small community not far from my home. Once they learn I'm back in the area, I am convinced something may come of it. What do you advise I do in the meantime, to provide myself with a sense of security?
*names have been changed to avoid drawing attention to my situation *I avoid the area they reside in. I commute in the opposite direction for errands. I don't visit the community they live in or the people I know there. * I have been unable to recover some of the friendships I lost due to Carl's smear campaign * Coby works at a car dealership * Carl cares for large mammals * I was gaslit so bad that I question if my experiences/reasons are valid, to the point to where I did seek talk therapy for validation and support. *Carl did ask my parent for money on a few occasions. I'm not sure what is borrowed/owed. My parent likely just let it go, as she likely understands that it isn't recoverable. (I don't tend to bring it up because it is upsetting). * I have a lawyer but there isn't anything I can do about this (yet) *any feedback/advice is appreciated

Good afternoon, back in March my wife was going shopping and brushed up against 2015 Honda accord. She did the right thing called me and waited at the scene. I ended up calling the local pd after she was waiting for a bit over an hour. They came and gave a report to each party by the end of it.
The other party mentioned to my wife that they would rather not go through insurance. Either way we choose I’m fine with so we agreed and asked her to get some quotes to see how much it’ll actually be estimate wise. A month an a half she contacts us back saying she set an appointment for her brother in law to fix the car and has an appointment to do so. With out any communication at that. Then states she will be sending the settlement paperwork to us to flip the bill. I’m ok with flipping the bill if it’s not blown out of proportion, however what can I do to get actual quotes for their vehicle if they don’t want to provide anything or take the steps to give them to me? The damage in my opinion will be around 1500 but a brother in law doing the work is 100% going to ‘’fat finger’’ the estimate. Kinda stuck and need advice on what to do. -State of Massachusetts -I’m willing to flip the bird and contact insurance - recent accident on our policy that totaled a car in November, don’t wanna get kicked off but will shop around for the next or take the increase off the chin
Anything helps

So, very messy and very long situation incoming. I am new to this, never posted before, but I’m going to try and be as all encompassing as possible. I feel there is a lot of context needed to make sure that no one is being misrepresented as I truly want to know if we’re in the wrong.
Essentially, back in April of this year (which feels much further away than it actually is), my wife (26F) and I (29F) got married. I’m American and she’s from another country, we’ve been together for a bit over 3 years and engaged since September 2023. Since we have no way to legally live together at this time, we decided she would come visit me for a few months so we could get a feel for it as much as possible before getting married and officially moving in together.
This was also something we agreed to do to put her parents’ minds at ease. For some more context, when we first started dating, she was not living at home/in her home country. Therefore, this meant when I would visit her, there weren’t any opportunities to meet up with her family (parents and brothers). We attempted offering to do video calls with them or even fly them over for her birthday when we knew I’d be visiting, but they always declined saying they felt calls would be awkward or that they couldn’t take off work to visit (understandable, but we did try to give several months warning and I know they’ve visited my partner there before).
Finally, last year, when my partner was in the process of moving back home, I was able to book a couple weeks off of work and go visit hemeet her family. I was extremely nervous as I’d never met the parents before and I know my own family means a lot to me and I knew then I wanted to marry my then girlfriend, so to me it was basically meeting my in-laws.
Throughout the trip we didn’t talk all that much and they didn’t ask me too many questions, but they seemed perfectly nice and I thought things were going well. Towards the end of the trip, my wife proposed to me and I said yes. This was something we’d been talking about for a while and I was super excited to move forward.
The next day, when she told her folks, they did NOT take it well, even going so far as to say she was confused (about her sexuality). I was not privy to this conversation, so I don’t want to misquote by adding anything else. More context: they knew my wife had purchased a ring and intended to propose. Needless to say, the next few days were ROUGH, but her parents were still pleasant to my face. Her and I ended up going to a different city for the last few days of my trip (which was previously planned) but we were both extremely upset and her guilt-ridden for upsetting her folks.
After that trip, things started to relax a little, bit by bit and we were eventually back to normal. We did all we could (mostly my wife did the leg work as I didn’t want to cross any boundaries) to make her parents feel more comfortable about the plan moving forward, at the time we were considering a fiancée visa since we were, y’know, fiancees lol. She walked them through the timeline and they still weren’t super comfy with it since I’d only met them once (understandable, I think) and we’d not yet lived together. So, we told them we’d have my partner come stay with me for a few months since she wasn’t working and I have an apartment, job, and cats I can’t leave. From what I understand, they liked that idea.
Flash forward to the past few months. She came to stay with me and at the beginning of her 3rd month here we had a consultation with an immigration attorney. In the consultation, the attorney said we’d be better off getting married since nothing was holding us back (like kids, prev. marriages, etc.) as the process is less invasive and we’re working towards marriage anyway. At this point, there were only about 3 or so weeks left in the trip and we had to make a decision as to whether we wanted to wait even longer to start the journey, or get married and start moving forward (this process will take over a year as is).
Ultimately, we decided that we didn’t want to have to keep waiting. We love each other, want to be married, and want to start our lives together. So we did it, we got married! It was a very small ceremony in my brother’s apartment since my step-sister is ordained and we were able to forgo trying to get a date at the courthouse on short notice – meaning we had wifi we could patch people in on Zoom from my wife’s side as well.
Now, here is the issue. Throughout this few week process leading up to the wedding from meeting with the attorney, my partner’s family (parents and brothers) all made it clear they did not approve of the marriage and thought she was “making a mistake”. They also said they wanted to be excited for my partner but just couldn’t be, and asked us to postpone the wedding until later in the year so that they could adjust/come to terms with it/be excited for her. They also made comments about getting married without her family there, which we did feel bad about. We attempted to offer and fly them over (they couldn’t due to work schedules) but we did provide them with the link to the live call. We also made it clear that while we are getting married, we still want to have a larger “wedding” later so that we can celebrate with all our family and friends together (which we intend to have in my partner’s home country). At the wedding, all of her friends signed onto the Zoom and only one of her brothers showed up, not her parents or other brother.
There were several moments leading up to the wedding where we nearly didn’t go through with it because she was so torn up at the fact her family was so upset she was getting married. Trying to help take something off her plate with making a decision, I called it and said maybe we shouldn’t right now. We’ve made it long distance for so long and I would do absolutely anything for her, including wait another 2-3 years before we can realistically be married and live life together. I just didn’t want her to hurt. But ultimately, saying we wouldn’t only made things harder and we kept coming back to it being what we want to do.
Aside from her family, everyone else was super supportive (my family & friends, all of her life long friends). We are happy to be moving forward, no question. Neither of us regret doing it and I’m so happy to finally be married to the love of my life, even as she needs to be on the other side of the world. But as she’s had to return home in the meantime while visas are in process, things have been rough. Her folks haven’t brought up the marriage and when talking to her one brother tonight, he told her everyone has been super upset and not coping well. He explained that her mom was hurt about not being included in the wedding and severely depressed. He also explained her other brother has just been angry. This eventually led to a long conversation with her family. Apparently her parents wanted to join and had intended to but didn't know the exact time or that when the link was sent it was go time. The ceremony literally lasted for two minutes and she said goodbye to everyone on the stream pretty quick because the time difference meant it was late for them. Her brother made it clear that he thought she should have done more like call them or wait until they joined. She was really hurt and the stress was taking a toll in the lead up to the day. She thought they had the information and hadn't wanted to be there. Things remain tense, this literally just happened, but they have said they love her unconditionally and want to move forward but just don't know how.
My wife feels like we could have done more to prevent these feelings being hurt and is dealing with so much guilt. I feel like we did what was right for us and we continuously reassured them that I would still be visiting while we wait for visas to process and that it means a lot to me that we have a good relationship and that they get to know me and my family. I even reached out to her mother via text apologizing about how things were happening, but assuring them that I still want to know them. They didn’t respond. I don’t know, I feel like we just did what was right for us as a couple. Long distance is hard, we want to be together, we love each other and want to be married, and we’re still going to have another larger wedding in the future. But at the same time, I don’t want people to feel excluded or deeply depressed due to our marriage, especially my wife’s family.
Are we the assholes for going through with the marriage right now instead of postponing like they asked?

Fished it twice so far with my brother in law but we are on the lookout for good spots to fish. It’s a madhouse during the tournament but it’s his thing and I enjoy the beauty of Cherokee and the fellowship. It’s pretty flat here in Florida.

A person is using 4 cars from govt , given 2 to his in-laws and 2 for himself . Working as Axian . Based in Islamabad & now posted to Jhelum but keeps visiting Islamabad and has given cars for use in Islamabad . Is it even legal? Is it allowed? What action can be taken against him ? He’s very young just 27years old but has his father as director CDA & one of his brothers is CSS officer . Hence a strong back .

Hi, can you please help me find this series? The first book has the MMC as part of a motorcycle club. The FMC is the daughter of a rivaling clubs leader. I think they make out at one party and a couple years later MMC kidnaps FMC and her best friend for whatever asinine reason. The second book was the best friend and there was some subplot where her brother in law forced her to have sex with him or else he would hurt his wife (FMC sister). Thanks in advance!

Has anyone else experienced this? I met a guy in December. He love bombed really hard. I hadn’t experienced it before so I thought it was real. Over the top compliments and affection. He pushed me to be his girlfriend almost immediately. I said I needed more time. He told all of his friends I was his gf anyway. Fast forward a few weeks, and every boundary I set is pushed and pushed until I give in. I let him meet my siblings even though I wasn’t ready, and he was really strange and only talked about my brother in law’s guitar. I was tired of his entitlement and stopped talking to him altogether. About a month of no contact went by, and he’s blowing up my phone begging to get back together telling me how amazing I am. I fell for it again 😬 and this time only two weeks go by before he’s completely stopped showing affection. He refuses to cuddle me, tell me how he feels about me, anything, yet he constantly expects me to be there for him 24/7. So we’re hanging out in his couch on a random Thursday and we’re talking weekend plans. I mentioned I had invited one of our mutual friend to go with my brother and me to an event. He kept asking why I didn’t invite him. Well, I mentioned how last time when he pushed to meet my family I felt like it was more part of his entitlement than actually wanting to get close to me. He starts spiraling, ranting about how I’m going to leave him now and everyone abandons him. I spend a few hours comforting him and telling him I’m on his side and everyone has issues. He then says he doesn’t know himself and doesn’t know if he wants to be with me. He starts talking about it and says actually I don’t think we’re compatible and I don’t wanna be together, but I want to be best friends. I start crying and asking how and why. He gets mad and says he doesn’t know what more he can say and he can’t help how he feels. I know he was bad for me, I’m just so shocked and jarred from all of this. I told him we can’t be friends but we unfortunately have a lot of mutual friends that I want to remain friends with so it will be difficult to avoid him entirely. I just can’t understand how someone can say two weeks ago I’m perfect for him and now that I bring out the worst in him. I understand it’s just his issues but it still hurts so bad. I’m looking for advice on how to move forward and not beat myself up, as I’m currently worried about what I did wrong and why he doesn’t want me. Has anyone else experienced this? Did you have these same feelings of being used? Should I just completely block him? Sorry for the long post I’m just reeling from this experience and could use some help. TIA

I really like Brienne, she is probably one of our most honorable POV’s and in so many the true embodiment of what Knight should be despite being a woman which bars her from it. That being said something which annoys me is how she supports Renly when we first see her. I understand her personal affection for him due to him being nice to her, but going to outright serve him in his usurpation attempt is what always boggles me. We do get some of her insight on this went talking to Catelyn:
"I was taught that good men must fight evil in this world, and Renly's death was evil beyond all doubt. Yet I was also taught that the gods make kings, not the swords of men. If Stannis is our rightful king—" "He's not. Robert was never the rightful king either, even Renly said as much. Jaime Lannister murdered the rightful king, after Robert killed his lawful heir on the Trident. Where were the gods then? The gods don't care about men, no more than kings care about peasants." (ACOK Catelyn V)
She agrees with Renly’s view that because Robert claimed the throne, he is just as valid in doing it as well even if not next in line. But this logic while having truth to it is also incredibly flawed in that it ignores the context of when and why Robert took the throne. The crown prince literally had kidnapped his betrothed, and then after the king kills his best friend’s father and brother, demands his and Ned’s heads. Of course he was going to rebel, for most of the war it wasn’t even about making him King, it was only until the latter half with some decisive victories that they decided it. Obviously the context is very different to Renly where he has clearly been scheming for some time even before Robert dies and later just declares himself king. The best example of this nuance from Robert’s Rebellion comes from Stannis in one of my favorite Davos chapters:
“It is every man’s duty to remain loyal to his rightful king, even if the lord he serves proves false,” Stannis declared in a tone that brooked no argument.
A desperate folly took hold of Davos, a recklessness akin to madness. “As you remained loyal to King Aerys when your brother raised his banners?” he blurted.
Shocked silence followed, until Ser Axell cried, “Treason!” and snatched his dagger from its sheath. “Your Grace, he speaks his infamy to your face!”
Davos could hear Stannis grinding his teeth. A vein bulged, blue and swollen, in the king’s brow. Their eyes met. “Put up your knife, Ser Axell. And leave us.”
“…As you command.” Ser Axell slid the knife away, bowed, and hurried toward the door. His boots rang against the floor, angry.
“You have always presumed on my forbearance,” Stannis warned Davos when they were alone. “I can shorten your tongue as easy as I did your fingers, smuggler.”
“I am your man, Your Grace. So it is your tongue, to do with as you please.”
“It is,” he said, calmer. “And I would have it speak the truth. Though the truth is a bitter draught at times. Aerys? If you only knew…that was a hard choosing. My blood or my liege. My brother or my king.” (ASOS Davos IV)
Sorry for the long quote, it’s just one of my favorites, but I feel it’s just one that gives us perfect insight into the difficult situation that was thrust upon the rebels rather than actively sought like Renly did. Brienne or her family were never put in this situation and entirely of her own volition. Not only is Renly already usurping Stannis but since he also refuses to acknowledge Joffrey and Tommen as bastards, he is basically officially usurping them as well. Mind you Robb, a person’s who father was killed by Joffrey and again thrust into this situation where he could arguably have a bit more of a moral pass on who he chooses still seriously takes the account of succession seriously:
That makes him evil," Robb replied. "I do not know that it makes Renly king. Joffrey is still Robert's eldest trueborn son, so the throne is rightfully his by all the laws of the realm. Were he to die, and I mean to see that he does, he has a younger brother. Tommen is next in line after Joffrey." "Tommen is no less a Lannister," Ser Marq Piper snapped. "As you say," said Robb, troubled. "Yet if neither one is king, still, how could it be Lord Renly? He's Robert's younger brother. Bran can't be Lord of Winterfell before me, and Renly can't be king before Lord Stannis." (AGOT Catelyn XI)
In the end Robb is declared King in the North, which is considered treason by Stannis, and that is a conversation that can go back and forth, but the point is even when wronged by the Lannisters Robb mentally struggled with this but then Brienne a person about loyalty and following oaths just joins Renly.
It’s frustrating because Renly dies in the second book and we don’t get her POV until Feast in which she is mainly focused on finding the Stark girls. Obviously these characters are supposed to be flawed, but unlike say Barristan who questions his past loyalties to Aerys, we just see very little introspection on this part from Brienne when she is supposed to be this opposition corner thematically to Jaime a knight who also committed treason. I’m sorry if this isn’t making sense, I’m trying to improve my English, I just felt I needed to vent on this aspect of a character I really like, and wanted to see what everyone thought.

General question mostly aimed at parents who grew up elsewhere and now live and raise kids in the US. I think we can all agree childhood especially early childhood is a special time. Back home got us a baby is a baby until age 4. Primarily because emotional regulation and still wanting to cling to parents is a thing. Most breastfeeding goes until 4 or 5 as well in my culture. My toddler still nurses periodically and is almost 3. He is tall and has a mouthful of teeth so yes it weirds people out but I don’t care. He will stop eventually. We also bedshare and have since birth as is common practice in my culture. It has not affected intimacy in my marriage and my husband (who is American and white) loves it too. He said he wishes his parents had let him.
My 4 siblings and I all bedshared on and off until we were 7. Mostly usually only moving out when a new baby moved in but mom and dad never said no. My parents are very happily married still and we’re all close. When I first had my baby here I remember being excited but then a good chuck of the literature is about sleeping through the night and all by themselves, self soothing and they mustn’t be too “dependent”. Our first pediatrician was very aggressive about not bedsharing and sleep training so we switched to a nurse practitioner who was from the Philippines who started her own practice who was very supportive in our choices.
The emphasis on milestones is also very overwhelming. Yes I know they are important and I don’t dismiss them but I also know children develop at their own pace when there are no significant delays or problems.
I’m thankful my mom was able to be with me for the first 6 months after our son was born to guide me through the traditional home way because I was really stressed. Also appreciate that my husband deferred to our tribal method of child rearing vs a western approach.
Add: I am not bashing at all. There are lots of wonderful resources and books I have and am reading about my toddler now but some concepts do seem foreign to me having been raised and seen my siblings being raised a certain way. I also do notice that I am often told that I am shielding or babying my son when I am honestly just deferring to his cues as it relates to things that we do at home. I don’t force chores or schedules for example and he can do some basic things. But if he won’t or can’t or doesn’t want to in a moment I do it for him because he is little. He’s not even 3. He’s no where near ready for all the independence my mother in law thinks he should have and I do let him try when he is open and able and wanting to. I just don’t see why there’s such a massive rush for all these things. For sleeping through the night, for reading, for perfect speech, for getting dressed properly all by himself and doing chores etc. my mom did what I am doing with all 5 of us and we’re all highly functional human beings. Heck by western standards she straight up babied my brother until he was 7 (he nursed until he was 5 and had a hard time giving it up but he was starting preschool lol) and he’s an OB who adores his wife and is helpful around the house.
If these early years are so important for me they are important in attachment and bonding and security, in the comfort of mom and dad being there no matter what. Not for reading and following instructions and being a perfect sleeper and eater etc. they are only little for 4 years.
Curious to hear from other non American parents what their experiences have been like?

THE MEXICAN THINKER TO THE MOST EXCELLENT LORD GENERAL OF THE AMERICAN IMPERIAL ARMY DON AGUSTÍN DE ITURBIDE
TO HIS EXCELLENCY LORD:
When at times opinion grows in favor of your excellency, wishing to seat him on the Throne of Anahuac, when proclamations in favour of your excellency are heard everywhere: Augustine I, emperor of America, when the Nation has nothing else to reward the singular merit of your excellency, but starting her sovereignty with her liberator and, finally, when your excellency has just made us happy, it is precisely when you want to make us miserable, announcing to us that you wish to separate yourself from the government.
It won't be like that, God lives! No, your excellency will not achieve it even if you want it, nor will there be a single American who will consent to it, because seven months ago your excellency was his, and today he belongs to the nation that he has liberated: he belongs to it and not to himself.
Your excellency himself indicates this truth to us when in his tender and laudable Proclamation of September 27 he tells us: "You already know the way to be free, it is up to you to point out the way to be happy", since to be happy it is necessary that your Excellency not be apart from us.
No, sir, either Emperor or nothing; and if your excellency is not emperor, may our independece be damned. We do not want to be free if your excellency isn't leading his countrymen.
America is not a fatuous nation, it is not a barbaric or ungrateful nation, it wishes to reward your services, and it only wants you to be the one who wields the scepter of its government.
You renounced, generous ITURBIDE, even the three stripes of a colonel, you never even wanted the title of excellency, content only with liberating your country, you long, like the Washington, wish to recommend the law to us, and then retire to rest to the bosom of your illustrious family; But let my country perish, and be confused among the enslaved nations if permits such thing... No, great man, not American hero, you do not deserve such oblivion, and if my country does not put you in Montezuma's throne,she will be the most ungrateful in the inhabited globe.
Let anyone who is your enemy, who opposes this glorious idea, come out through the press, use your Plan of Iguala as a pretext and do whatever they want to show that the crown does not belong to you, I will prove to them to the point that it is very much yours, because you have won it. with your sword, with your religion, with your politics; And if there is any enemy of yours who hates you, let him come out and fight me with the sword, and then... oh! I will have the satisfaction of tearing out his vile heart and bathing my hands in ungrateful, horrible and... blood. . My God! Stop my impetus and rage that excites in me the consideration of even supposing that there is even a single American who does not want the immortal ITURBIDE to wear the crown.
I swear to God, most excellent sir, that my tears moisten this paper when I remember your merit and your tender farewell; But I console myself with the fact that my country is a heroic, great and grateful nation, and will not allow anyone but one of its countrymen to sit on its throne who has just removed the chains of a long servitude and placed it in the rank of sovereign. If he does not do so, Europe, the entire world will abhor this behavior and his ruin will be infallible.
Yes, I predict it: if your excellency is not the emperor of America, anarchy or despotism stalks us. They are in front of us, and in less than a year the kingdom will be involved in the misfortunes from which we have just emerged.
Your excellency does not read this paper with pleasure; I know it well: his moderation and humility scare him and make him conceive of a crime where there is nothing but a very brilliant virtue.
For this reason, your excellency will do very well not to aspire to the crown, and the country will do very wrong if it does not gird his heroic temples with it, because it will not pay him with anything else.
The enemies of your excellency will say that you have sworn to preserve this kingdom for the Bourbon dynasty, and I say that this oath does not bind the nation, because it did not do it and your excellency did not have, when you did it, any investiture, granted by her, to constitute him as her representative. So, your excellency, ignoring the vote of the nation, could not dispose of it, nor is it obliged to succumb to the will of your excellency against its expresses will, and when he knows that some harm may follow.
In those days we writers remained silent, because it was convenient to consolidate opinion, and achieve freedom for the country; But today that we have achieved it, it is necessary that we speak the truth.
This is that everyone, the army and the people, want your excellency to be the emperor. They have given the necessary proof, proclaiming your excellence everywhere. The only thing left is either for the Imperial Army to do it with violence, or for the kingdom to declare it through its representatives gathered in the Cortes, and it must be done in one of two ways, under penalty of accrediting the army and the nation of ungrateful and ignorant.
I know well that Mr. Lord Don Ferdinand the Seven cannot come, because he would have to abdicate the crown of Spain to one of the infantes. Nor should any of these want to come to a kingdom that they don't know, whose climate will be harmful to them and the customs repugnant.
Furthermore, as long as our Constitution is not approved, this should not be discussed, and the Cortes must establish so many restrictions on the King who comes, that no European will want to come.
For example: they must decree that he is not married, and that he marries an American; that he comes alone and that he cannot place his relatives in the governments of the capitals or sea ports, much less make them army generals. That his correspondence with overseas states must be public and seen by the Cortes, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
With such obstacles, essential to put in place in any good policy, who would want the throne of America? No one, and then who does it belong to but your excellency, who has earned it, who is our friend, our brother and our compatriot?
Let it not be said that your excellency is not descended from royal blood, because that is a concern as old as it is ridiculous, since the lord is not the one who is born but the one who knows how to be, and only your excellency has known how to be the liberator of his homeland.
Furthermore, to be an emperor by merit, like your excellency, it is not necessary to be the son of kings. Augustus, in glorious Rome, was nothing, and afterwards he was an emperor of the empire he founded; and Napoleon, in glorious France, was less than your excellence in this America. So why should your excellency, having done the same as Napoleon and Augustus, elevating your country to the kind of sovereign empire, not deserve the title of emperor that they deserved?
Nor should it be believed that the exaltation of your excellency to the Mexican throne would cause jealousy among the leaders of the Imperial Army. They are all prudent and know the indisputable merit of your excellency, and thus, I am of the opinion that they themselves would be the first to fly to offer their obedience.
If the freedom of the press allows us to publish our political ideas without offending before the law, I have said what I feel, and time will show that this vote is that of the nation.
Therefore, most excellent sir, do not even think about separating yourself from us. If Washington did it in North America, the government he installed was also diverse, and his homeland could not make him sovereign. Your excellency is in various circumstances, and if the American nation, always grateful and generous, tries to affirm you on a throne that it has won, your excellency has no discretion to renounce.
Sovereignty resides in the nation, and, under this most brilliant principle, it is up to it to give itself laws and appoint itself an emperor that suits it. And will anyone be able to accommodate her other than your excellency, who has just removed her from the class of slave, placing her in that of mistress? Will no European prince be able to compare in merit with your excellency? Will he love us as your excellency loves us and should love us? And could America see itself indifferently dominated by a strange monarch, leaving its favorite son in dark oblivion?
The ungrateful say what they want, but the country, reason, justice and gratitude say no, and that the throne of Anáhuac has been designated by the immortal monarch for the dynasty of the worthy ITURBIDE.
Far be it from me vile flattery. The general opinion is that which is expressed by my pen; The interest of the country directs it and not my personal interest, whose springs move with exclusion of only the low souls.
I know that there is no right to force my country to receive a foreign monarch on its throne, if it does not voluntarily call him. I see that the people proclaim your excellency everywhere, and this makes me know that they do not want a king of the street, but of their own house. I warn of many difficulties for, even when called by the nation, any European prince to admit a foreign throne, and in the circumstances of the day. And lately I consider that this very important matter is only for the Cortes to resolve: they can only choose the dynasty that suits them, as they alone are sufficiently authorized to represent the nation and defend its rights.
In such a case, if, as is not doubtful, the nation is solemnly declared in favour of your excellency, there is no further discretion left but to admit.
Your excellency knows well how much the power of a sovereign nation is, and remembers that in other times the Spanish offered the humble and virtuous Wamba with her throne; He constantly resigned until the determined people gathered, searched for him, found him and, presenting him with a crown and a sword, said to him: "The nation wants you to reign and command it; you have resisted many times. Here is the crown that points you to the throne, or this sword that will kill you if you do not admit it." Wamba was surprised by such an injunction, he admitted the throne and reigned for some years with the benefit and appreciation of the people.
Everything must be, sir, the work of time, and we will soon know what we will end up with. Meanwhile, your excellency do not think of separating from us. The country needs your person, and your excellency must sacrifice yourself for the country. Does your excellency want to be in the bosom of his family? Bring her to Mexico, which is his home everywhere, but never try to separate yourself from the government.
Whether with the sword at the head of the armies, or with the pen at the head of the government, it must always be useful to us, as it brings together courage and prudence; and what is more, he has conquered the hearts and has become master of the general opinion of the entire kingdom.
May your excellence live many years, and live with us for the happiness of the nation.
Mexico, September 29, 1821.
Your Excellency Sir
José Joaquín Fernández de Lizardi.
NOTES
1st Once the layout of this paper had been laid out, I was pleased to see that the Supreme Junta appointed the most excellent Lord ITURBIDE as generalissimo of sea and land. Congratulations to all the members of the JUNTA, as they know how to appreciate the merit of the hero ! But will this be the reward he deserves? Will this reward his services? Has the country given him what he can and what he should give it? No way.
Generalissimo became his excellency with his courage and prudence. So in reality nothing has been done by declaring the same thing that we know.
The nation alone, I repeat, is the one that can and should reward its liberator, sharing with him the same as he gave it, and it will not do much.
Mr. ITURBIDE removed the country from a servile dependence and restored the rights of sovereignty that had been usurped for so many years. Then what will this grateful nation do to share with your excellency a sovereignty that it owes you?
I hope that, in the first session of Congress, the throne will be assigned to him by acclamation. Oh, may I have the pleasure of once kissing the hand of the Emperor of America, and may death close my eyes forever! Then our freedom will be certain and lasting, and the nation will reach the degree of opulence and majesty that corresponds to it.
2nd The day of the swearing-in is approaching, and, as an organ of public opinion, I must warn that it is not advisable to say a word about this kingdom being preserved for any part of Europe. Because if such is sworn, the oath will be void, null and of no value, because the nation does not love anyone but Mr. ITURBIDE, and with my head I answer for this proposition.
The nation becomes uncomfortable when it reads in some public newspapers that a king is asked from Spain, and that if it does not give one, it will be asked from Naples, Sicily, Austria, France, etc.
This bothers us too much, and it is necessary not to say it again. No foreign prince has any right or merit to occupy the throne of Anáhuac, which falls solely and by right to AUGUSTIN I, Emperor of America.
Besides, it is a shame that our writers go around with those requests and prayers. Europe will say: How foolish will the Americans be that, having a hero to crown at home, they ask a stranger to command them? Or were they so happy with slavery that, at the time of becoming independent from Spain, they wanted to depend on any house in Europe, so as not to have a king from their own?
So they will say, and they will say well. Therefore, it seems to me that the oath should be reduced to preserving the Catholic religion, to supporting independence, as declared by the Cortes, and to maintaining the union with Spain as a friendly power. This is my opinion, and I think it is everyone's opinion.
Mexico, September 29, 1821, the first of our freedom.

Hi,
I'm about to buy a second hand Enduro Mondraker Dune XR 2017, but I'm new to the sport and this is a question I couldn't find an answer for:
Should I worry about not being able to buy factory new spare parts?
I'm mainly concerned about the easy-to-break or wear parts, such as frame bearings, fork seals, brake pads and those suspension related small parts that I don't know but will probably break. Specifically, main components are next:

• Fox 36 Factory 2017 (160 mm)
• Fox Float X 2017
• DT Swiss rims (27.5")
• SRAM GX brakes and derailleur

Despite its age the bike is almost new, since the owner is a wealthy dad on his 50's who bought it from his brother in law, who acquired it factory new on sale on a whim, but soon sold it. Then he kept it to use when his main bike was undergoing mainteance or in repair, and still conserves the purchase invoice and a booklet that certifies the annual mainteance until october 2023 on a professional workshop. You can tell it hasn't been used just by looking at it, but I'm afraid of the spare parts issue.
Thank you.

So to provide some context, I (28F) recently started a law firm with my mom, who is an attorney. I was working on my own business at the time, but when my mom’s paralegal up and left her right before Christmas, she needed help, plus I had experience starting a business and was previously in the legal field, so I agreed to come on as her legal assistant/business helpeetc. We agreed on a set weekly amount for pay, which wasn’t crazy high but solid and I felt like I could use the opportunity to help my mom build something lucrative after leaving her old firm (where she was severely monetarily taken advantage of, and is going to have to sue her old business partners for what they owe her + her partner investment at the old firm, but that’s a story for another day) The thing is, I was wary going into this my mom would not be able to financially keep our agreement, because she has big dreams and ideas but doesn’t always take the practical steps in terms of things like budgeting (the fights and struggles this has caused in my house between my parents my whole life and the financial issues we’ve experienced as a result have shown me she has no plans on changing this but I am also empathetic because she is crazy busy and my other siblings, one who is severely mentally ill and lives at home, take up an insane amount of time)
Now I want to hammer in that my mom is a good person, with a big heart. My dad is a good person too, which is why I feel this situation is so difficult for me to navigate. They have their issues and personally to me, seem to act like children in many ways in how conflicts are handled and how they emotionally react (my mom especially, she cares so much how people feel about her but doesn’t realize that her fuse is short and she will just yell and scream at everyone) They have not had an easy set of cards dealt to them in regards to all of us kids and the individual issues, and I have always had so much empathy for them. However, the older I’ve gotten and more I’ve experienced, the more I realize a lot of the issues we had growing up, whether it was financial or my siblings behavior and issues, probably could’ve been handled in a much healthier way which would’ve saved a lot of the pain experienced by continuing the cycles and behaviors that were causing the issues in the first place. My parents stayed married, but basically tolerated one another and never had a united front, were always talking bad about one another and could never agree on proper ways to fix what was happening, so it was a chaotic mess all the time, where the more difficult kids were enabled and it felt like those of us who actually had more of our shit together, were just expected to either help with it or just deal with the fact they didn’t have time for us because of the time my siblings took up. An example of this would be when I was in college, I was on a full scholarship (full tuition, but not room and board) because of my academic and athletic scholarship, so I ran track and XC to help pay for school. I worked two jobs as well to pay for my rent, and barely slept as I was in pre-med. I am the oldest of the 6 kids in my family, and in my family, I was the good kid. I didn’t ask for much, always figured my stuff out, etc. They “never needed to worry about me” so they didn’t. However, during that time when it went to school, my dad lost his job and my parents were fighting more and more. My siblings had less tolerance for their “bullshit” but they also fought each other because of the issues at home. Therefore, they began to struggle a lot. My mom was always borrowing money from me and I had no idea when I’d get it back. I would struggle and could barely afford my NEEDS. I barely bought books I needed and would often be finding ways to take pictures of my friend’s books, etc. Anyway, this was consistent and even to the point where I could not buy myself the sashes and what not for my graduation (I was in the honors courses, extracurricular, scholar athlete, Greek life, graduated top of my class for my major etc) because my mom had borrowed almost 1000 from me…and gave it to my sister who was studying abroad. This sister has never cared about taking my parents money or caring about how their financial situation affects everyone. She has since been diagnosed with BPD…I get that I have some unresolved family issues, so that may be coming out as I type here, but I also wanted to provide context into why I feel the way I do. I was also heavily parentified being the oldest, with an extreme sense of responsibility, even as an adult, for the well being of my siblings and parents. I have”sacrificed” (I say it in quotes because I know it was my choice and I take responsibility, but looking back I don’t agree with how it was all handled and felt my parents should’ve been more of the adults and allowed me to try and build my young adult like without the burden of caring for children that were not mine) a lot of time, money and opportunity so I could focus on trying to “save “ them (I have gone over this complex I have in therapy and I’m still working through it, but take responsibility for my actions in perpetuating the cycle)
I could go into more detail about the difficulties and struggles my parents face, and how life has gotten harder and harder for them. My mom is an enabler because she has trouble with people disliking her, yet burns bridges with people who genuinely care because she ends up accidentally taking advantage of them to focus on for example, her kids who are not actually doing anything to help and causing more issues in the family. My siblings are beginning to hate her, threaten to cut her off from meeting her future grandkids, etc I will be on the last line for cutting her off, because I genuinely believe she is such a loving person who has never been able to totally focus on her and has just been running on fumes for years. However, through therapy I’ve also come to recognize she is an adult who has had the opportunity to change her behavior (my dad too) to try and get a more positive outcome, but they have chosen to remain stubborn, and say it is because they have no time, but that part just isn’t true, it would take a lot of work and reorganizing at this point, but changes could be made. I have literally bought my mom therapy appointments, set them up, (I control her calendar for work so I know when she’s free and I handle all business scheduling so I know what appointments are important to the firm so I try to schedule when we have a few days without major deadlines) and my mom still says she is too busy
Anyway, finally to the point of this post, my mom owes me over 10k in promised payment, and I have been working full time. She has given me the amount I’ve needed to pay my half of the rent at my place (I live with my partner, who is genuinely shocked at the behavior of my parents and our family dynamics, but is very loving and supporting regardless, even to my family) but besides that, I’ve just been floundering. I don’t know where the money goes after we bill, but my mom is always complaining we don’t have money in the account. However she has not forgotten she owes me, and always brings up how she wants to get me paid, but I am continuing to struggle and don’t know when that will happen. I know she will, but when? The other aspect of this is my sister (the one with BPD) just graduated law school and was supposed to help us with the firm to help pay for her bar prep and bar fees, but she has managed to avoid work and I know my mom is just going to pay for it all anyway. However, I’m not mad cause I’m very proud of my sister and what she has accomplished with her mental health struggles however, that means her work has fallen into me, and not only am I helping with my duties and hers,I am expected to set up all the automations in the firm, handle all the schedules and set up a business for success. That takes time on top of all I am doing, and my mom gets easily frustrated with technology and things and complains this should all be easier and we should get it set up to be automated, have draft emails, etc . I tell her that takes time and money, but she has this idea we can just hire someone to take on the extra work but I’m not even being paid right now, so even the money that could potentially go to me, the person working full time, would be given to a VA to help push the firm forward. I would be okay with that if I really believed we were on our way to making a successful sful, lucrative business, but because of all the issues at home, my mom has barely been able to work. She is emotional and has a short fuse a lot, and it’s hard for me to keep things moving when I need an attorney to do most of the big thing clients pay for when working with a firm. Now she has gotten ill (which I am so upset about but my guess is it is due to stress) and has been out of work for two weeks besides hitting deadlines that need to be hit, she will call me screaming , crying (edit since input syringe instead of crying the first time) that she can’t do this anymore, can’t do the firm, etc. But then being happy and excited the very next day. I always tell her I just want her happy and to take care of herself, but she needs to let me know so I can find new work and build my life. I feel stuck in limbo and know I need to take actions to help myself, but I still wanted to try and help my mom as much as possible and see if the firm could still be built. However, yesterday my non working sister (studying for the bar) called me to show me the new outfits she had gotten and how she was going to go out with some friends, I love those types of calls from my sister but it made me realize my mom was still giving her money, fun money not just get ready for the bar money, and I’m here struggling and my partner is picking up the slack. One of my brothers, who I have lent money to multiple times in the last few months (he always pays me back in a timely manner) who said he couldn’t afford to do things he wanted and had to sell his EDC ticket, is now at EDC and my mom has no money in her account so my guess is she helped him. My dad works too so they are surviving, but she complains about the mortgage and bills to me a lot, so I feel guilty adding to her stress especially with her being sick, but I’m kind of at the end of my rope here after seeing she is still not prioritizing paying her employee (even if I am her daughter and have a lot of empathy for the situation)
I know I wrote a lot but I feel like I could have provided so much more context. Once she is feeling better I know I’m going to have another talk with her, but I don’t know if I should just say I’m done once we finish up our current case load and to not bring on any more clients unless she hires someone else cause I feel she’d be more likely to pay them. I want to believe it could be different and my mom could figure out how to build this firm professionally going forward, but I just don’t know if I’m being idealistic. Anyways, I do really wish I could get the money I’m owed to put into my own business that I have put on hold to do this (thinking I could help my mom AND save some money to put towards my own business which my mom was on board with and wanted because she sees the firm as a way to help all the kids finance their own dreams, and she really means that which is one example of why I say my mom is genuinely a good and kind person who loves her kids) part of me wants to say that if she wants to keep saying she “can’t do this” anymore that I am quitting and I hope she takes the time to focus on taking care of herself because I can’t stand by and watch her do the same stuff that will stress her into an early grave which genuinely scares me but is how I feel. Granted even if she isn’t working she is kind of addicted to stress so it may not change anything but there is part of me that hopes it would. Plus, they obviously need the money so it is probably just wishful thinking.
Anyway, sorry for the ramble, maybe I needed to get my feelings out, but I am wondering if anyone has any advice? Have you been in a situation like this and how did you handle it? Please be kind to my parents, but truthful as any help would be appreciated.
TLDR Summary
Busy Mom of 6 with good heart is my employer and has not paid me what is owed, but spends money on my siblings and has a history of doing things like this. I know she is struggling financially. How do I approach her and what is my best course of action to resolve and help versus just being harsh and cutting it all off?

A lot happened before my father passed my sisters both demanded accounts and signed on the way they owned our father and her to the lot of large amount of money before he retired one sister had full control to put one account and because her husband had knowledge of how to control people with these accounts and how to sign them to where you own them and could walk away with all that one dollar unless my dad wanted to press charges felony and he did not he lived with that for several years the thing was my brother-in-law demanded I didn't no help and no cash from my father who bought me a vehicle and he also demanded who bought from him so he could have his own cash that started a bad thing but on the other note my other sister and brother planned a long time ago to steal all on the end and one sister her whole name go in life was to still everything in the end to work as a librarian in order to mingle with authorities with a plan of cutting me out because mother made her hate me when we were children she told her she was a real oldest daughter I was adopted by my father in the state of Missouri because I had no father my mother was abusive to me and she got her words she cut me out she got threw me out of the family they had me abused I had a death threat at one time when my memories came back I have an appointment to talk to a trusted her recovery attorney next week but it's well down to now it's a dirty stuff but they're still a very large amount of money missing that was too preachers one being a bad lawyer who was elected to prosecutor because of his name the state of Missouri couldn't help me with that because he was elected. There's no protection for heirs even though there's laws in Missouri. And when did in-laws with hating their heart and greed they come errors assets were never reported I never got anything from my dad as far as I had property stored there I finally got my camper but it cost me a lot my brother forced me to sign titles and soon tops and my sister would use them on something I told her it would be fraud because they couldn't Court can tell immediately that the paper was added to after the signature landlords can't get away with that anymore unless the person can't take them to court then they do cuz it happened to me before my thoughts are I was abused my life was certain all this Northwest Missouri it's very corrupt a bank account was moved when I was dying in another state and the prosecutor won't even let me look because it's been a few years back I need prosecutor the bank was concerned like there was a criminal and that prosecutor said get a lawyer well that's all I was told by a person well when they have more money and they've used pictures to launder money they use the prosecutor to get their way to not probate a larger state and they turn their back on me that goes to me like I am a disease because I know what they did my life was in dangerous I still don't feel safe I'm in this town I'm working on getting away from here so I can take care of the rest of this but my children didn't deserve to be cut out my father did not do this they did what they wanted for very large amount of money who got a very large attack right before he died and then I don't know who got the money I'm not money doesn't drive me but the fact that they did what they did has me irritated because my children did not deserve this my brother was supposed to probate and help me get all this done so my sister's got their way so far but my mother was in the background she was the first ex-wife and he was single but my one sister control freak controlled dad never move after his last divorce and he couldn't trust her she stole tooth imagine that grave sold them a year later without telling him to make banked on that but she did that because my other sister would find onto his largest inheritance account and controlling him with it he didn't press start his own either one but he did turn him in before he died after he got that last check he was bullied that's why they wanted my memory is gone I hired somebody to come into my life I found Love with a narcissist who was there for hire St Joe Missouri is very corrupt Andrew county was where the prosecutor fake probate attorney was they're still a fake casing at the judge refused to move it off but my brother is no longer represented who paid it to get it stopped to get those two titles back my father bought way more local than that my brother and said he was doing his own probate he bullied me to sign in 15 titles two were property I can't find out where those went except for I know they were laundered through his church his Titan picture who greedy preacher but also was involved and getting money off the top that's I'm in the assets it's all a mess it's a very big mess I'm talking to Tony next week another one thing is only have one chance that they got more money than they're counting you know I they laundered money they did it's on public 300 vehicles cars and trucks at dad bought for probate my brother promised to do with me that sisters pays him to do with that program that month is already had the prosecuting attorney as a lawyer he's not even a probate lawyer and now he's not a prosecutor attorney who knows he did wrong he's also a preacher but he's one of those tithing pictures like the other one putting printers lying their own pockets with other people's money they don't give it to the floor they're legal things in my eyes but I'm opinionated

-My husband & I have been together for 8yr. Below is a timeline of my MIL issues starting when we first began dating, to now, several years married.
Before meeting my now-husbands mother, VERY early on in our relationship and before we were even official, his mother requested to follow me on all my social media accounts. I had not met her at the time and found it way too soon & creepy. Even at this point I got the initial feeling she was the type who forces levels of intimacy that she has not made the effort to genuinely attain.
-In the beginning I did make a concerted effort w/ his family. I quickly learned his Mother asks v. intrusive questions. It’s clear her questions aren’t genuine, but for the sole purpose of having ‘intel’. As if it’s ’information gathering’ for her benefit.
-The 2nd time meeting his mother she immediately asked me what year my parents got married. I told her I wasn’t sure & she began asking me if I knew what decade.. followed by questions re: my mom’s birthdate. Then she told me what she really wanted to know was my mom’s age (always an ulterior motive..). She was beyond giddy to discover she was younger than my mom. I told her my mom was slightly older than some of my peers mothers bc she had a daughter (my sister) before I was born who passed away and she had trouble conceiving afterwards. His mom didn’t react or respond to this as she was still so giddy to over the fact she was younger than my mom. Red flag..
-When my husband and I were first dating, he lived in a house w/ several guy friends. He was 26. Whenever we’d visit his family his mom would beg him to move back home so he could save money. I found this odd behavior for a mother wanting their son to grow & flourish as an adult.
-After a year & a half dating we decide to move in together. My future MIL pulls me to the side for a 1 on 1 conversation & tells me, “if things don’t work out, don't worry, there’s always a way to break a lease & get out of living together if things aren’t going well” (..why would things not go well…?). She continues on, quizzing me ab my prior relationships and how they ended. Before reverting back to the topic of me and her so moving in together, basically telling me she doesn’t approve.. conversation leaves me feeling unaccepted, awkward and gross. I immediately told my partner how uncomfortable this made me. He was upset and went to have a talk with her. In their conversation- she gaslights him, telling him she feels like she’s walking on eggshells w/ us & she did nothing wrong, we are so sensitive, how she doesn’t do anything right, etc.
-She begins incessantly planning get togethers with us, telling us she never gets to see us (when we visit 1-2x/month). We don’t even live in the same city. Not to mention we’re busy in our 20’s w/ friends & establishing our own lives. Every time she sees us she leads w/, ‘oh I’ve missed you sooo much. when did I see you last? Why has it been so long? I’m soooo happy to see you. (On & on, guilt trip behavior).
-Our first Christmas dating we spent w/ his family, the 2nd year w/ my family. When we told her we planned to spend the 2nd Christmas w/ my family, his mother had a huge outburst which I’d describe as frantic/triggered/unhinged. My husband and I were upset by her reaction and left shortly after. The following day I txted her we were upset she reacted to our plan that way, we spent the prior Christmas w/ them & it was our decision.. and that moving forward we’d be splitting holidays. She played it off, said: “I wasn’t upset at all if you thought that I really wasn’t! I don’t think I came off like that, sorry if you felt that way” then proceeded to change the subject. Once again gaslighting (this being the last time I confront her on my own. My husband handles from here on out).
-She begins asking where I buy all my clothes. Nonstop questions ab my material possessions. Then starts going out and buying the same items for herself.
-She starts constantly telling my husband on the phone how she never sees him, leaving him feeling guilty (he’s improved a lot on the guilt-front, since our early dating era). When we see his parents 1-2 times a month.. and live 2 hrs away.
-Around this time, If I stated an opinion ab something (as in I would bring a topic up on my own) she’d debate everything I’d say as if I wasn’t allowed to have my own opinion.
-Pulls me to the side of a party 1 on 1 & tells me in private ‘you’re so lucky to have my son, I just want you to know that you’re really lucky.. I hope you know it’ she wasn’t being nice when she said it.
-Around this time she tells us how my partners sister is so sad he has a gf (me), yet she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Triangulating her 2 children, w/ the goal of wanting her son to feel guilt for being happy and in a successful relationship.
-Husbands mom starts getting jealous when we go on family beach trips w/ my family. We go for a week every year. She makes disapproving comments to us/ is generally unhappy her son is enjoying vacations.
-She starts making comments to my partner ab how I’m so closed off and won’t open up to her (making me look bad while playing the victim) and crying to him about never seeing him and how he doesn’t make enough effort..
-Begins incessantly micromanaging my husband: texts him reminding him of this and that, tells him my (as in me…) birthday is X days away, to make sure to get me something, to get his sister something, reminding him he should ‘make plans with his dad soon or go see his dad soon’ or ‘have you called your sister recently? You need to call her it’s your job as a brother’
-Begins generally undermining how we live our lives, generally casting judgement on any and every decision we make.
-Around this time his sister who is only 2 years younger begins acting bratty- we give her furniture, tvs, clothing large items she says she wants and she is super ungrateful, complains about the items we give her, tells us they’re too heavy for her & that we need to carry it for her and put it In her house for her. Only calls or texts us when she needs something, wants advice, or wants to complain to us. Never any other times. It’s always all ab her.
-His sister then keeps our dog for us when we are out of town for a few days (which we were shocked her said yes). We stocked the fridge w/ 7 or so bottles of wine for her and made our home lovely/ special for her stay. Her new boyfriend even comes to stay with her (they both have roommates so this is a chance for the 2 of them to be alone). After our trip we were over the top grateful thanking her many times. She then pitches a fit to my now husband telling him we bought her cheap Trader Joe’s wine and that she can’t believe we didn’t bring her back a tshirt from our trip, complaining on and on yelling at him.
-My partner and I get engaged and his mom/sister begin trying to force get togethers, my husband sister starts asking me to go to workout classes with her, painting classes, massages, etc.. which is v. out of character for her. It continues & becomes apparent this is happening only bc I’m now engaged to her brother. It feels disgenuine as she never made these efforts in the 5 years before we were engaged…
-My bridesmaids are my closest, nearest dearest friends who I’ve known for 10+ years. My husband’s sister cried when she found out she wasn’t a bridesmaid and started calling my husband weekly crying / begging him to be a bridesmaid. Then my MIL starts calling, telling him how disappointed she is. He tells his mother, I’m not sure why she’d expect to be a bridesmaid, she’s never made an effort, they aren’t close, she gets to select her closest friends to stand by her side. This has nothing to do with not liking or leaving anyone out on purpose. His mom cries, repeats how deeply disappointed she is, how wrong this is, etc. My husband tells his mother he plans to ask his dad to be his best man. Disclaimer: neither of my brothers were by husbands groomsmen, they couldn’t have cared less…
-My husband asks his father to be his best man. His father declines and says ‘no, not unless your sister can be a bridesmaid’………………….
-My MIL creates her own wedding hotel block for her friends and family, sending out a mass email to them. This is outside of the 4 hotel blocks we already have on our wedding website.
-I start hearing my MIL is saying to friends/family, ‘As long as my son is happy that’s all I care about, I just really hope that he is. All I can do is hope’ and telling people how devastated she is that her daughter isn’t a bridesmaid and how messed up and wrong it is and how weddings are a family celebration for the family. No one ever confronts me once about the bridesmaid situation.
-My husband ends up telling his mother to never mention the bridesmaid topic again, how he won’t tolerate it and is done hearing about it.
-We ask my SIL to give a reading at our wedding. Her response: ‘if I have to’. She is a pill our entire wedding, in almost every photo she is scowling.
-When we receive our wedding photos & upload online, my SIL/MIL text and ask me where all the photos of them are (there were plenty…). I told them I uploaded every photo our photographer sent. They told me this wasn’t true, were extremely disrespectful to me, basically told me I was lying when I wasn’t. I uploaded every single one. I even reached out to my photographer to ask if she’s deleted any of the photos before sending…
-My husband & I got into a disagreement with my SIL where we had a huge argument resulting in a 6 month period of no contact. This arises after we confronted her, calmly & maturely about an issue we had to which she cussed us out and called me every terrible curse word you can imagine. My husband was livid- told her she would not talk to/ab me that way & how childish she was behaving, how we should be able to confront her when we are upset about something she’s done, etc. After several months of no contact w/ my SIL, my MIL begins calling my husband saying: you ‘will/must’ resolve things w/ your sister. He says no & it’s not her business. My husbands father then calls him, clearly deployed by MIL (as he’s very chill/no-drama). The situation becomes even more stressful due to my MIL pressuring my husband re: a topic that doesn’t involve her. I too become stressed, seeing my in laws trying to control him. My in laws then have my SIL’s bf text my Husband saying, ‘I really hate seeing this for the family I want everyone to be ok’ (although once has my SIL attempted to reach out & apologize for calling me a bit** cu**, etc). When his attempt doesn’t work on my husband, my MIL then sends my husband & me a joint text message ab How she wouldn’t be intervening if her daughter could handle this on her own & how we need to fix it. My husband responds & tells his mom off, essentially saying: This isn’t your business. My wife is owed an apology, you guys also have never apologized for how horribly you treated us during our wedding.. the happiest time of our lives, a day we get to have exactly how WE want. My sister can handle her own problems she’s an adult, shes never going to learn bc you meddle in every problem she has bc you want things your way. Then when you don’t get what you want, you get everyone to do your dirty work for you in hopes you can bulldoze & get your way. You make everything ab you, what you want, when & how you want it. Those days are over (this is a summary of his response).
(hmm wonder why my SIL doesn’t know how to handle adversity, bc you handle everything for her even though she is an adult)
-SIL reaches out to my husband and says she wants to talk. He says no, you treated my wife poorly. You will reach out and apologize to her, not me. You won’t disrespect my wife. And she does do this although it takes her a week or so. And it did seem genuine.
-I think this all stems from drama my MIL creates, and when things don’t go her way she pulls others in to manipulate them & do her dirty work for her.
-husband and I lived 2 hours from his parents. We end up moving 10 hours away to create distance from his family. They disapprove and generally disapprove of any and every decision we make, as they don’t act with love and support our decisions as loving parents would.
-In laws announce they are starting an annual family vacation…to the private beach MY family has vacationed at since I was born (it’s not a mainstream location…it’s rather obscure). My in laws have never even been there before. I tell my husband I absolutely refuse to go & will not enable the intrusive/copying behavior.
-My husband & I take a trip just 2 of us. We stay in an airbnb. 3 months later his parents tell us they planned a trip to the same location for the 2 of them & they’d also found & booked the exact same airbnb we stayed at so they could experience the same exact trip my husband & I went on….
-Additional overstepping, intrusive, creepy behavior like above persists. They start buying many of the same exact material items, or furniture we own (obscure antiques, designer items, etc….), essentially copying everything we do. We want our own unique & individual things that make us, US. & it seems as if demand to show us they won’t allow us to have that for ourselves under and circumstance. Almost as if they aren’t entitled full access to our lives, so they will bulldoze and access our lives in their own ways to make them feel in control. This is my take.
-There’s no major animosity now but we have majorly pulled away from them. My husband calls his parents once a month or so. We now see them 3-4 times a year.
-Things will be nice & relaxing for a month or 2 then out of the blue my MIL will blow up out of nowhere calling my husband 8x in a row telling him he will speak to his mother he will do this and that. Often he simply ignores her or waits several days to respond. She likes to tell him ‘you need to call your father and speak with him’ ‘hey it’s dads birthday make sure do this and that’ (obviously we know when their birthdays are… we are pretty on top of things, still she cannot stand not being in control).
-MIL just flipped out on my husband for not calling her on Mother’s Day, though we send a gift, card, and send multiple texts first thing in the morning. My husband received multiple messages from his dad : why have you not called your mother??? Did you forget? Call your mother now. We’re skeptical the texts were actually from his dad..
-Although we’ve distanced ourselves, the every 2 mnth outbursts are exhausting. I am now 6 weeks pregnant. So excited! BUT Dreading telling them as I envision MIL & SIL making it all about them, freaking out ab how we aren’t involving them enough.. I imagine my MIL starting to disgeuninely call/text me constantly, demand to be involved at the level she expects & believes she deserves, will probably buy high chairs, cribs, etc for her own home.. and make it about her In any way possible.
Any advice on how to deal with a woman like this? I feel like I have to constantly prepare for her actions, outbursts, or things she might say. She’s draining, the pressure she puts on my husband is absurd, her expectations are outrageous, she’s judgmental and controlling, everything is about her, and she is emotionally immature in every way. I feel protective over my husband and our marriage and can’t stand them constant trying to order him around with their high expectations and demands. Help!

Tired of going Lethality and do a coin flip?
Tired of going Bruiser and deal 0 dmg to tower and champion alike
Look no further Brothers, The herald of ruined build is here to show you the light inside darkness
Here the non fully undeciphered text from an ancient script, located inside an old temple near the Shore of Black Mist
"
Forget Conqueror, forget Meteor, take the fleet of footwork*, and grab a* Front of Life, then you shall never die
First you will need a simple tank object, but it has to be malevolent (damage) related, vs physical abuser you would want The Gauntlet of Frost*, as it's will give you the spell blade proc and a nice slow be fit the name Tilted Lord*
But if they have magic user, oh boi all the star is lining up alright, you will feel Hollow*, yet* Radiant*. Why you ask? Because with every life we take, their violated remain explose with death, make the other soon join them, even when we weren't there*
Now here come the good part, next you will take F̶̻͑̓̈́͜ä̷̢́̓́̌̚t̵͍͊e̷̦̓͝d̵̠̔ ̸̲̩̖͍͋Ą̴̢͈̜̰̌̐s̷̻͛̿h̶͙͈͕̦̆̃͝e̸̖͋̑s̷̳̘̣̉̓*, and upgrade it into both* Ĺ̸͖͈̎̿̕ĩ̷͇͑͊͛͘ä̸͈̝͕̪̣́n̵͍̻̤̈̽̋d̶̹̬͙͚̆̍r̸̛̩̲̦̗̔͂̌y̴̠͉̲͖̌͐̑'̴̰̘͙̈s̵̼̠̝̊̃͗̕ ̵̟͔̓̃̾̃͘T̸̮̏̆̚ọ̷̢͔̭͂̍r̷̺͋͗͜ͅṃ̶̝͕̑̾e̵̖͐̎͑͝͝n̶̙̝͊̇̎ţ̵̣̮̼̲̆̐̕ and the Ḇ̸̛̒͐̈̃l̸̖̗͓̿͊̅͝a̴̮̫͒̅č̸̨̛͍̝̈́̉͝k̴͚̩̯̯̍̀̐̀͠f̴̢̝̭̠̑ͅį̴͈̃̒̒͝ṙ̵͚̬͐ȩ̴͖̼̩̇͂͑͗̒ ̷͕̈́͝͝͝T̵̰̳͉̿̓ǒ̴͔̏r̴̩͍̘̜̙̉̐̈́̔̕c̶̨̥̤̠̖̕h̸̝̬̭̀̒͆͝ͅ. . Now watch the world burn. You can then feel Hollow*, yet* Radiant*, or even have a sight of an* Eclipse*, hold a* L̷̻̳̦̔̋̽i̶͔̭͌g̶̹̔́h̴̫̖̘̾t̴̻̙̥̄i̵̯͖̞̍̎n̶̙͑͊̐g̷͔̓ ̴͚̂̕S̷͙̖̅͘h̴̦̉i̵͇̍͆̒v̵̻̹͙̿̃̈́ or bare the Snake Fang to become the Gray Life Destroyer, your call
As thou foe burning in ruined, you shall live, with the Health, the Bonk of Life, and the Resist thou has cumulative, even to the point of making the Great Iron Revenant question his Death Realm himself
But what about the burst? The damage? The ad??? Non believer won't understand, that is in the Siege war*,* Magic is easier to get a mass, yet melt the plate of stone like butter. The Void Walker and the Mad Yordle known, and his knowledge won't be wasted
So how would one faired with these gift? How can one climb the ladder of god with it?
According to the Bausen Law, take what you will, leave nothing back. Thou are not here to dominate, thou here to win. Push the wave of mortal flesh, then siting back while it crash the Ivory Tower. Burn the enemy, Burn the foot soldier, Burn them all. The faster they burn, the sooner our army reach the gate*. While doing so, feel free to unleash thou pocket sand,* curse the unbeliever with eternal BURNation*, alone with an* unstoppable crash*. We will be* healthy*, we will be pristine, while the* enemy weaken*, day by day, until they* forced to leave the battle and lose out*. If they whose hunger for battle strike first,* disengage*, and* mend to full with the Fleet of Foot*,* Front of Life, and Bonk of Health*, doesn't matter, because with their* army burning down*. there was* no option to Freeze the state, none at all. If nothing ever happen, don't worry, thou game is like a chess, and not a brawl, time will tell
At later stage of the Siege war. Raise your brethren, and aim them toward the nearest Castle. The Hollow kill, the Radiant burst, and the Burn secure. Mortal army couldn't not hold against these, even better if thou has The L̷̻̳̦̔̋̽i̶͔̭͌g̶̹̔́h̴̫̖̘̾t̴̻̙̥̄i̵̯͖̞̍̎n̶̙͑͊̐g̷͔̓ ̴͚̂̕S̷͙̖̅͘h̴̦̉i̵͇̍͆̒v̵̻̹͙̿̃̈́*. Meanwhile thou are* else where, raking knowledge (exp) lead from other battle. Thou goal is to deny the most of recourses from the other side, by fast crashing their army on as many lane at once as thou can. And with the Gift i has bestow thou, thou will, thou shall.
At one point, thou foe will miss so much that they became unexperienced fighter whose haven't reach 18*, or* given up a strength of number else where just to lose the war. Meanwhile thou will still burn*, and while it* not enough to kill*, it is* enough to foul the mind. Thou army will rival the Sting Ray's Swarm, with 0 effort
Go, Grave Digger, and Burn the Rift to a crisp

Hey everybody, FYI I’m not currently residing in the Philippines. My wife is a Filipina and her family is still there. Currently we have an eye towards moving there in a few years once I retire. I just wanted to share a story and see what everyone’s take on this was because I found it kind of surprising.
My brother-in-law got a commission to act as a driver for some other party. So he rented a van and while he was enroute to pick up the client, apparently he was carjacked. After they left him on the sidewalk he reported the crime to the police and three days later the car jacked van was recovered. Upon inspection of the recovered vehicle, it was found that the bulk of the contents of the vehicle had been removed prior to the vehicle being abandoned.
So now my brother-in-law is being charged with something called “car napping” and according to him, he must pay a 100k peso “fine” in order to avoid jail time for this charge.
I feel like I should add that My wife and I have been married for over 25 years and we have our own lives in the United States. It isn’t a new marriage and I don’t suspect that anyone is trying to scam me.
That being said, has anyone heard of anything like this before? Is this really how the legal system works in the Philippines? Because I don’t see what crime my brother-in-law committed here.
Just wondering if anybody has a take on this?

[You can see my first post in my profile]
Hello all, it’s been about a year since I informed you of what’s going on in my family, thank you all for the support, and to those who are against me, congratulations, you attacked someone on Reddit, happy? You literally did nothing to my spirit or opinions on this matter, so now you just look stupid. First of all, I’d like to clear some things up before I begin. 1. I DID NOT show the explicit pictures of my wife or her lover to my children (which I said in my first post, but people seemed to ignore it). I only showed them the screenshots of her flirting with her coworker, and the messages were not sexual, it was only her saying things like “I love you” and “my husband is so stupid for not noticing”. 2. The reason I rushed to tell my children so quickly is because I know my wife. And she would 110% try to shift the story so that they think I cheated on her, hence why I also took screenshots. I was worried she had already gotten to my daughters before she left for work, but fortunately she must have forgot in her haste and panic. She also tried to convince our friends and family that I was the one who cheated, but the screenshots saved me from that. Now the only people that are on her side, are her two best friends, and the coworker she cheated with. 3. While I didn’t say this before, I’ve tried very hard not to make my daughters hate my wife. While I personally hate her, and am completely over her. I still want my daughters to have their mother in their lives, and they have warmed up to her again quite a bit. 4. The reason I let my wife take my daughters is because I needed some time alone. And while I hate her with a passion now, I know the kids are safe with her, as she loves them more than life. Now, onto the update.
My lawyer served her the papers and she immediately broke down crying and called me over 100 times. Asking if I was serious and that she’s so sorry, and not to do this to her, not to do this to our family. Apparently she thought she still had a chance to get back together with me, are you kidding me? So I told her that it’s completely over, and what she did was unforgivable, and I hung up on her. She then tried to call me almost every hour on the dot, and I’ve ignored every single one. I have gone over to see my daughters whenever I could, but refused to go to her parents house when she was there. Luckily, her parents are on my side, and the only reason she hasn’t been thrown out is because she’s their daughter, and they still love her. I’ve signed my daughters up for joint therapy so they can talk to somebody about this if they need to. (thank you to all who suggested it) Everyone in my family and hers is shocked at how fast I got over her, but it’s natural for me. It’s just the way I think, I hate her, but I figure, if she didn’t love me, I shouldn’t love her. I may have gotten over her, but I’m still upset about my situation, my life is falling apart, but I have people on my side, and it softens the fall. My brother has invited me to go drinking with him and his friends, and I’ve had a great night every time. I even got drunk and slept with one of his friends, Kayla. Afterward, she asked me on a date, but I told her I’m not quite ready for that yet, she understood and we had breakfast together. I honestly really like her, and I feel that in the long run, she would be a good partner and a good stepmother to my daughters. But I’m not sure anyone is ready for that yet, so I’m holding off, but at some point, I’d like them to meet Kayla. My in-laws keep trying to tell me about how my wife is doing, and I keep telling them I don’t want to hear about her. They do get disappointed, because they’ve always really liked me, and probably don’t want our marriage to end. My brother has also come by to see me more often, sometimes Kayla and his friends come with him, I won’t lie, I enjoy the company. As for my job, I’m the owner of my own local cleaning company. While I have a lot of paperwork to do, I can do it all from home, so none of this interferes with my work schedule. I’ve spoiled my daughters rotten since then, every time I came over, I brought them some candy or a new toy. Not to try and keep them on my side, but because it’s a rough time for them, and they deserve it. As a whole, I thought my marriage ending would be the worst experience of my life, but the truth is, I’ve never felt better. I met a great woman, I still get to see my kids and have them in my life, and my ex is still in shambles because of this. I hate to admit it, but I would love to see how she’s dealing with this. I’ll update you all again when there’s more to talk about, sorry about that, this is just more of a rant about how much better my life is now instead of an update on my family. But for now, me and my daughters are happy, and until the next time I update you, I hope it stays this way.

TREATIES OF CÓRDOBA
TREATIES CELEBRATED IN THE VILLA OF CÓRDOBA ON THE 24TH OF THE PRESENT, BETWEEN MR. DON JUAN DE O'DONOJÚ, LIEUTENANT GENERAL OF THE ARMIES OF SPAIN, AND DON AGUSTÍN DE ITURBIDE, FIRST CHIEF OF THE IMPERIAL MEXICAN ARMY OF THE THREE GUARANTEES.
Pronounced for New Spain the independence of the old, having an army that supported this pronouncement, the provinces of the kingdom decided for it, the capital was besieged where the legitimate authority had been deposed, and when only the town squares remained of Veracruz and Acapulco remained for the European goverment, unguarded and without means of resisting a well-directed siege that would last for some time, Lieutenant General Don Juan de O'Donojú arrived at the first port, with the character and representation of captain general and superior political leader[viceroy] of this kingdom , appointed by His Majesty, who, eager to avoid the evils that afflict people in altercations of this kind, and trying to reconcile the interests of both Spains, invited the first chief of the imperial army, Don Agustín de Iturbide, to an interview in which the great enterprise of independence was discussed, unleashing without breaking the bonds that united the two continents. The interview was done in the town of Córdoba on August 24, 1821, and with the representation of his character in the first, and that of the Mexican Empire in the second, after having conferred in depth about what was most convenient for both nations. Taking into account the current state and the latest occurrences, they agreed on the following articles, which they signed in duplicate to give them all the consolidation that this type of documents are capable of, keeping an original each in their possession for greater security and validation:
Art. 1. This America will be recognized as a sovereign and independent nation, and will be called from now on “Mexican Empire”.
2nd. The government of the Empire will be a moderate constitutional monarchy.
3rd. It will be called to reign in the Mexican Empire (after an oath designated by article 4 of the plan of independece), firstly Mr. Don Ferdinand VII, Catholic King of Spain; and for his resignation or non-admission, his brother the Most Serene Lord Infante Don Carlos; for his resignation or non-admission, the Most Serene Lord Infante Don Francisco de Paula; for his resignation or non-admission, the Most Serene Lord Don Carlos Luis, infante of Spain, formerly heir of Etruria, today of Luca; and by resignation or non-admission of this, the one that the Courts of the Empire designate.
4th. The Emperor will establish his court in Mexico, which will be the capital of the Empire.
5th. Two commissioners will be appointed by His Excellency Mr. O'Donojú, who will go to the Court of Spain to place in the royal hands of Mr. Don Ferdinand VII a copy of this treaty and the exhibition that will accompany it, so that it may serve H.M. has record while the Cortes offer him the crown with all the formalities and guarantees that a matter of such importance demands, and beg His Majesty. That in the case of article III, you designate to notify the Most Serene Lords Infantes called in the same article by the order in which they are named, interposing their benign influence so that it is one of the designated persons of their august house who come to this Empire, which is why the prosperity of both nations is interested in it, and for the satisfaction that the Mexicans will receive in adding this to the bonds of friendship with which they can and want to have with the Spaniards.
6th. A Junta will be composed immediately, composed of the first men of the Empire by their virtues, by their destinies, by their fortunes, representation and opinion, of those who are designated by general opinion, whose number is considerable enough for the meeting of ilustration to ensure correctness in its determinations, which will be emanations of the authority and powers granted to them by the following articles.
7th. The Junta referred to in the previous article will be called the Provisional Governing Junta.
8th. Lieutenant General Don Juan de O'Donojú will be an individual of the Provisional Government Junta, in consideration of the convenience of a person of his class having an active and immediate part in the government, and that it is essential to omit some of that were indicated in the expressed plan in accordance with its same spirit.
9th. The Provisional Governing Junta will have a president appointed by itself, and whose election will fall on one of the individuals within it or outside it, who meets the absolute plurality of votes, which if in the first vote is not verified , a second vote will be taken, with the two who have obtained the most votes entering.

1. The first step of the Provisional Governing Junta will be to make a statement to the public of its installation and reasons for bringing it together, with any other explanations it deems appropriate to enlighten the people about their interests and way of proceeding in the election of deputies to the Cortes, which will be discussed later.
   
2. The Provisional Governing Junta will appoint, following the election of its president, a regency composed of three people from within it or outside it, in whom the executive power resides and who governs in the name of the monarch, until he takes control, of the scepter of the Empire.
   
3. Once installed, the Provisional Governing Junta will govern temporarily in accordance with current laws in everything that does not oppose the Plan of Iguala, and while the Cortes form the constitution of the State.
   
   1. The regency, immediately after being appointed, will proceed to convene the Cortes in accordance with the method determined by the Provisional Governing Junta, which is in accordance with the spirit of article 24 of the aforementioned plan.
4. The executive power resides in the regency, the legislative power in the Cortes; But as there must be some time before they meet, so that both do not fall under the same authority, the Junta will exercise legislative power, first, for cases that may occur and that do not give time to waite for first meeting of the Cortes and then it will proceed according to the regency; second, to serve the regency as an auxiliary and advisory body in its determinations.
   
5. Every person who belongs to a society, altering the system of government, or passing the country into the power of another prince, remains in the state of natural freedom to move with his fortune wherever it suits him, without there being a right to deprive him of this freedom, unless he has contracted some debt with the society to which he belonged by crime, or in another of the ways known to publicists: in this case there are the Europeans living in New Spain and the Americans residing in the peninsula; Consequently, they will be arbitrators to remain adopting this or that country, or to request their passport, which cannot be denied, to leave the Empire at the predetermined time, taking or bringing their families and property; but satisfying at the exit by the latter, the export rights established or to be established by whoever can do so.
   
6. The previous alternative will not take place with respect to public or military employees who are notoriously disaffected to Mexican independence; but that these will necessarily leave the Empire within the term that the regency prescribes, carrying their interests and paying the rights mentioned in the previous article.
   
7. Since the occupation of the capital by the troops of the peninsula is an obstacle to the realization of this treaty, it is essential to overcome it; but as the first chief of the imperial army, uniting his feelings with those of the Mexican nation, he wishes not to achieve it with force, for which he has plenty of resources, despite the value and perseverance of said peninsular troops, due to lack of means and resources to support themselves against the system adopted by the entire nation, Don Juan de O'Donojú offers to use his authority so that these troops can departure without bloodshed and through an honorable capitulation.
   

Villa de Córdoba, 24 de august of 1821.
Signed
—Agustín de Iturbide.—Juan de O’Donojú.—It is faithful copy of its original.—José Domínguez.—It is a faithful copy of the original that remains in this general command.—Jose Joaquín Herrera.—As assistant secretary, Tomás Illañez.

Sorry, guys. I think I cursed your Sounders by starting to root for them. My brother-in-law has season tickets up there and was back home last year and I watched a game with him (one of the Timbers games). A Sounder scored a goal and took his jersey off in celebration and got carded for it. Which I think is a bogus thing to do but whatever. Sounders were up 2-0 then said player got carded in an iffy tackle that didn’t really deserve a card hit the ref just wanted to red card him I guess. Seattle were down to ten men and quickly gave up two scores. Probably lucky it didn’t end worse.
Then last night happened. How does the same thing happen on both sides of the pitch and the Sounders get penalized and lose a player to red card, but Vancouver is just whatevs? Again, sorry y’all, but I think I’ve cursed your team forever.
Anyway, Go Sounders!

I've posted about a year ago regarding my then 7th month old scratching his head and hurting himself in the process. You can find the old post here: https://www.reddit.com/Parenting/comments/139ip9z/baby_wont_stop_scratching_his_head_until_it_bleads/
Recently I've had 3 different parents that have found the post and were in the same situation, inboxing for an update/solution, so I decided to make an update post in case more parents are looking for answers. Sorry I took so long. I know the despair you feel. I assure you it will get better if you persevere. This is an extremely long post, so I have bolded the several topics, in case you don't want to read everything, so they are easier to find.
To update on my son's situation: He's now 1y and 7 months. He is allergic to milk and he has a combination of cradle cap and eczema. In addition to this, he was also born with Hydronephrosis (enlarged kidneys) which means he is limited in the medication that he's allowed to take (no ipobrufren, as an example)
The Cradle Cap situation has improved by itself, mainly by just carrying on with what we were doing. We use the Frida Flake Fixer treatment and a cradle cap shampoo (Dentinox). We've also been advised not to wash his head every day, leave it 1 or 2 days (one doctor even said once a week). For the cuts, the best thing was indeed a Vaseline barrier to help the raw skin heal. Even though it definitely stinks, the healing is the most important part. I would put Vaseline on his scalp the day before a bath, do the treatment with the Frida Brush and then I would rub a Baby Scalp Oil (Colief) to soften the flakes on the day after the bath; I would put Vaseline on the scalp the next day and he would take a bath the next day, rinse and repeat, until the cuts were healed, and I could ditch the Vaseline step. If the cut was deep I would sometimes apply Sudocream only at night after a bath and the Vaseline was removed and he'd fallen asleep so he wouldn't take it off. He still slept with mittens inside his cuffed babygrow, but he always managed to get one or two fingers out, I kid you not when I say, that sometimes I would sleep holding his hand to prevent him from scratching his head when the wounds here at it's worst. All of these steps have contributed to has improved the cradle cap lot and eventually disappeared in about a month's time. He's going trough a second outbreak now, a year later, but no where near as bad as it was then, he's not scratching himself to death.
The Eczema situation. Right....... this situation has improved for a few good 7-8 months with the Aveeno Baby Dermexa Emollient Cream. I would use it 3 times a day or more to fight of dry skin. The areas where the skin folded were the worst. Arm folds, neck folds, behind the knees, there the eczema would install and spread, That could only be controlled an Hydrocortisoid Cream, 1% w/w. It did eventually disappeared save for one spot -- just behind the right knee. He developed a habit of scratching it with his left foot. But, lets put the Eczema situation on hold for a moment, while we talk about:
The Milk Allergy situation.... Oh Boy..... this is about to get very long.....
In my previous post made at the beginning of May 2023, I stated that my son had been to the A&E (a week before the post) for an allergic reaction to porridge, so he would either be allergic to Milk and/or Gluten. We were told a referral was done to our GP for a visit by an allergy team who would walk us through to process of slowly introducing allergens so that my son would hopefully be able to safely be exposed to them in the future and advised to "only feed him vegetables and fruit". We were given an "prescription" for an antihistamine to continue the treatment and to use as an SOS in case of another allergic reaction in the future. No allergy tests were done for my son at all.
We were told that, it would take a couple of weeks before we were contacted by the allergy team and to contact the GP after two weeks if we hadn't heard from them. We waited a month and nothing. At the end of May, I went to our GP to ask for updates on this situation. Imagine my shock when the GP told me that they didn't even have ANY information about my son being in the A&E. They've spent 1h contacting the hospital to get the paperwork from the A&E that SHOULD have been sent to our GP. In said paperwork, it states that the hospital would like the GP to sort out the allergy appointment. So, no allergy appointment had been made for an entire month and if I hadn't enquired about this situation, the GP would have had no clue about the need to make one because they didn't have the necessary paperwork! I was given an apology and scheduled an "assessment appointment" 2 days later. I enquired about an Antihistamine prescription, since my son was gonna start nursery in a couple of weeks when my maternity leave would end and I needed to provide a bottle for them in case of an allergic reaction, because we still didn't know what my son was allergic to.... Lo and behold, when the GP staff looks at the hospital paperwork, it was stated that no more antihistaminic was necessary, against what we were advised, as we should have one antihistamine as SOS, I had to press the GP to provide us with an prescription (which the lady was very quick to do after seeing me ready to implode regarding this absolute incompetence) so the nursery could have one antihistamine with themselves as we couldn't keep juggling our bottle back and forth with them.
The assessment appointment which basically consisted in 5 mins of asking for details about the allergic reaction, all of which was written in A&E's paperwork and only then being referred to a dietitian's team. I was given no ETA, no info about where it would be, no contact that I could call to at least be put on a waiting list in case of a cancellation, nothing. I was only asked to wait and when confronted, the practitioner admitted that this appointment COULD have been made straight in the hospital's A&E, instead of this ridiculous and time wasting bureaucratic football between the Hospital and the GP.
You might think this was the end of the miscommunication and incompetence.... Oh oh But no,.. of course not!! I waited another month of silence. At the end of June I called the hospital's appointment hotline enquiring about my son's appointment, only to be told that he doesn't have one because a referral hadn't been made yet! I was fuming!! I immediately called the GP who have assured me that a referral has been sent to the hospital's Paediatric and gave me it's referral number and they would enquire....
If you are in the UK like I am and you see that your baby/child is being ignored by your GP / Hospital and not getting the appropriate care, then do as I did and contact PALS near your area. That was the best piece of advice that I have received from people at my local breastfeeding group, and if being a mother has taught me anything, is that sometimes, you will have to be a momma bear (aka Karen to the eyes of the target) and advocate for your child. I work in retail, I despise Karens and I have no wish to be one, I am usually a pushover. But I will not allow anyone to trample on my son's health. And while I do have respect for the NHS, seeing has my brother in law works there, I know damn well, by his own words, that the main problem is not the lack of funds, but the pockets where they go and the terrible disorganization.
At that point I had enough of excuses and I made a complaint to PALS about both the GP and the Hospital. My son was almost 9months and still breastfeeding but eating mostly Vegetables and Fruit as solid food as per A&E'S guidelines, delaying his weaning and feeding development and causing stress with the nursery and our family as we didn't know what he was allergic to and couldn't move on to full meals. I flat out asked them if they were intent on my son completing an entire year of life being fed only Vegetables and Fruit besides breastmilk, and called them out because an 8 month baby should not be put on the back burner over and over again due to the incredibly poor communication between these two organizations and have his health jeopardized. I demanded a resolution ASAP and forward this to the Paediatrician as I did not trust the hospital to be able clearly communicate between their departments and whom I suspected had not been told absolutely nothing regarding all this. Two days later the allergy team specialist rang me to personally and profusely apologise and take the situation under her control and give me her allergy guidelines which I should have been given since the beginning. I was still forced to wait until early July for a allergy test - Milk was found to be the culprit.
I still thank everything that I had enough perseverance to stick with breastfeeding and never, ever, though to look at formula. I tremble to think about the consequences, Even though I'm aware that dairy free formulas exist, me being a 1st time ignorant mother, chances were I could have picked a wrong one. Fortunately I produced more than enough milk and my son had a good latch. Also because my son was not making any allergic reactions to my milk, this meant there was a higher chance that he could grow out of his allergy, as he was still getting enzymes from the dairy that I consumed. From here on, food introduction was a breeze. He's a real foodie, he loves to eat and he loves to eat with us. Adapting our diet was a bit of work, as I have IBS and my husband is diabetic so there might be some foods that will be a trigger or might not be the most ideal to someone in our family, but we managed to strike a good balance. Vegan options do help and we are having fun exploring that.
The problems then came with the nursery. After letting them know that my son was allergic to milk and other things were fine, the cases of allergic reaction in the nursery stated to increase and he started getting very bad reactions. First we suspected cross contamination, then that he might be allergic to something else, but the foods they were saying he was allergic to made absolutely no sense as he was just fine having those at home. We came to the conclusion after several events in the softplay area - that involved no food at all - that the culprit might be their cleaning products and further pressed after two different members of staff said they themselves were allergic to that product - Milton. After several bickerings between us and the nursery and us visiting our origin country for Xmas where my son ate in 4 different household and 5 different restaurant with absolutely no allergy reaction (in comparing to the then daily cases of reaction on the 3 days that he stayed at nursery), we finally convinced the nursery to change their cleaning products - they are now using Sanell. In addiction to prevent cross contamination, my son was given his own high chair, that no other child uses. Happy to say the cases of allergy are nearly non-existent now. His recent blood results also came back with amazingly good improvements, so we got the thumbs up from the Allergy Team and the Paediatrician to start the milk ladder and slowly and gradually adding milk to his diet. Currently he's in stage one and having half a teaspoon of malted milk biscuit daily with no reaction. It will probably still be able two months until he can have a full biscuit, but I can't wait to see his smile when we get to this stage - he loves taking the little piece of my hand.
Because of the back and forth with the nursery and them insisting that the allergic reaction could be due to other foods, the allergy team at the hospital was more concerned with that than his Eczema situation. We had to insist about it, since we suspected the reactions might be Eczema instead, stating that I was still waiting for the promised skin specialist appointment since end of April last year. The lead Team Speciallist, again showed her amazing professionalism and chased up the situation and we finally got our appointment jointly with her and the skin specialist in January of this year. She gave us a few products to try but said that the Eczema situation was relatively controlled. The samples that she gave were:

• Dermol 500 Lotion - we still use this for his bath as a soap substitute
  
• Adex Gel - kind like an emollient cream, it was ok-ish
  
• Cetraben Cream - didn't seem to make any difference, but can also be used as a soap substitute so we'll give it a go after Dermol is finished
  
• Zerodearm Ointment - didn't seem to make any difference, but it has a Vaseline like quality to it, so might try again
  

About a week after the appointment, my Son had an mild outbreak of Eczema on his legs. We tried several combinations of above products that seemed to temporally control the situation but didn't complete solve it. In Early March of this year the Eczema appeared in his back. He has a huge red birthmark the size of my hand on his back, so that skin is very sensitive. He started to scratch and rub his back against things and it didn't took long to break the skin. It didn't bleed but it was oozing/weeping which would make the skin get stuck to his clothes and then get raw, so no treatment was going to work on that as it would slide off with the oozing/weeping. I despaired then as I had a year ago.
So I went back to the thing that worked last time - Vaseline. This time though, it was on a place that I couldn't exactly leave uncovered. My son was about to do some blood tests so hospital had given us numb cream to put on the inside of his elbows and some clear medical film. He had this done before and I remembered that the film had been resistant enough to keep the cream in and didn't hurt his skin, so I though, maybe I could apply the same theory. So I bought some clear medical film (Tegaderm Film), put a good chunk of Vaseline on the wound and sealed it with the film. I changed this twice or three times a day, depending if he was in the nursery or not. It worked like a charm and it allowed the skin to heal. For reference, the nursery manager, whose son suffers with really bad eczema has suggested me the AproDerm Ointment which also has a Vaseline consistency to it, but my son's situation cleared up before I had to use it.
The skin specialist by then had prescribed a treatment with another hydrocortisoid cream ( Daktacort 2% 1% w/w, needs to be kept refridgerated ) and an emollient cream - Epimax Oatmeal Cream. For the other patches of Eczema (that were not in wound), I would use Daktacord, once in the morning, once in the evening, and I would use Epimax to keep the skin moisturized along the day, whenever I would change a diaper. The skin specialist told us to keep using Daktacord twice a day for a week, then drop it to once a day on the following week, and then drop it to every other day on the week after. This has worked brilliantly and it solved all Eczema patches, including the stubborn one behind his right knee, We were able to drop the Daktacord and we now only use the Epimax emollient regularly about twice a day.
Thank you if you have read everything so far, I hope you have found something that could be of use to you. Happy to answer any questions that you might have, or if you're feeling desperate like I was and just need some reassurance, just drop me message!

I have been married now for 20 years to my husband, and I am unsure how I have survived this marriage. His brothers absolutely hate me. It’s always weird going around and I can just feel it. I try to be nice always. One thing I noticed, and this sounds so juvenile, but his brother always likes my other sister in laws photos, and not once has he liked mine. It’s just weird and uncomfortable. Not sure if I should bring up how I feel to my husband or just leave it?