How much i feel ambrosia
How I Feel When
2011.09.21 21:36 hotcarl7379 How I Feel When
Show us how you felt
2012.09.28 00:52 wasabiface 70smusic
Are you on the stairway to heaven or just reflecting on the dark side of the moon? This is the place to post music from the 70's
2013.10.16 19:48 ruseweek Microdosing: sub-threshold dosing of psychedelic drugs for self-improvement, therapy or well-being
This is a community for discussion pertaining to microdosing research, experiments, regimens and experiences. The most probable candidates for microdosing are psychedelics, but we encourage dialogue on the effects of any drugs at sub-threshold dosage. No sourcing of drugs allowed! Please have a look at the microdosing Sidebar ⬇️.
2024.05.19 16:49 soluslyde feeling like i have nothing
i don't even know how to start this because it feels weird screaming into the internet but i'm on my second (going into third) year of uni and i feel like i have nothing. barely passed all my classes and have to take summer classes to catch up, have no friends despite being sociable with people. hell, i've tried talking to someone twice and both of those times led me to look like a damn idiot and make a huge fool of myself. i've started to wear a mask bc i've been told people are put off by my rbf and it's not like i can really help it because i'm also autistic and i can't tell when i'm being "too much". chronically ill as well, poor as shit and it doesn't help i go to a university where the majority of people's families make six figure salaries a year. even got somewhat told off by my advisor because i have no friends but i can't really help it. i had a lab partner this year where we got along pretty well but i feel like if i asked to hang out outside of class or study together or something then it just ends up with me looking like some sort of desperate idiot. i spent most of my time home playing video games, tried to join clubs but all of them were so damn cliquey and i couldn't handle the weird stares that i got. i've been trying to lose weight because i know people would better approach me if i were skinny. saw an old high school friend who graduated a year early with summa cum laude and is in their masters program while i had to take a gap year and barely making it by and i know i shouldn't compare myself but by god i feel like a dumb shit. i don't even get a moment to relax between the spring and summer semesters because i have to work. i guess it just sucks but it really doesn't seem like it's getting any better even when people have been telling me for years that it would.
submitted by soluslyde to offmychest [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 16:48 PersonalizedGameRecs [/r/boardgames PGR] How different does each **Caverna** play feels? I love Agricola and looking to get Caverna now, but I read that there is no much replay value since you can do exactly the same each playthrough. Is it true?
submitted by PersonalizedGameRecs to PersonalizedGameRecs [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 16:48 ACertainThrowawayTag A Brief Review of Trails into Reverie: Act Two- Swings, Roundabouts, and Corridors
Previous Post-
Lloyd's act was probably my least favourite, it had some really sweet moments, especially Lloyd's pain right at the start of the act, as well as Lechter's appearance, but for the most part I think it has some pretty major issues which I'll go into more in the pros and cons. Rean's act was pretty standard fare for what we're used to with Class 7, nothing revolutionary there, but it was C's act that stands out for both its comedy and light nature, as well as the way it ties into Rean's act and makes it better as a result. Anyway, lets get into some specifics.
Pros (Lloyd's Route)- -The Opening Scenes The emotional impact of seeing Lloyd beat down and bedridden after the end of Act One, as well as Rixia's concern, and his foolhardy stubbornness in the face of everything that just happened was quite something. It really did remind me of how his character was during his best bits in Azure. Shame it kind of faded as the Act went on.
-Lechter Like with Claire, the fact that Lechter is one of the first people to rejoin your party after everything (ESPECIALLY given what's going on, and what he did to the SSS during Cold Steel 3 for example) is a really clever move in my opinion, and it adds a different dynamic to the party. That and he's just really cool here, kind of regaining his aloof but clued in schtick that he had in the original Crossbell games.
-Rixia Unlike Elie, whose emotional beats don't really hit (but that's an issue with her character as a whole), Rixia's emotion at the end of this act, as well as throughout it are just pretty well done. Not the best writing the series has seen, but it's consistent with her character, and adds some weight and emotional gravity that quite frankly wouldn't exist otherwise.
Cons (Lloyd's Route)- -Cao and Heiyue God I can't emphasise how much I hate Cao fucking Lee. Of all the 'all according' to plan characters he's by far the worst. Gets his shit kicked in every time, his plans never fully work, and then he fucks back off into the shadows. I appreciate morally grey characters, and scheming characters, if they're done well, and Cao is far from done well here.
-Ilya (and Shanshan as well I guess) Why? What does this do? Like sure I getting her dance hypnotises the population but why is this the story beat they decided to use here? More to the point why is Ilya the character at the heart of the plot beat? It all just feels a bit weak tbh. Also as much as I loved Rixia's appearance here, the stuff with Shanshan was just weak lmao I'm sorry.
Pros (Rean's Route)- -The investigation of Heimdallr It was great to be back in the old Eastern Districts we hadn't seen since CS1. Just seeing the old sights and going round the old places again really worked somehow. Kind of makes me wish we got more of the old CS12 cities like Bareahard and Roer. Hell, I'd love to have seen Celdic again. But I understand that probably wouldn't work for CS34 and Reverie.
-Millium and Altina Man I've missed these two. Their character relationship has certainly evolved since CS2 and early CS3, however it feels natural (to an extent), and it's just such a blast seeing them finally able to talk to each other as 'family' after all the stuff that happened in CS4. The bit with Millium figuring out how Lapis and Nadia were moving across the city because she also happens to be a massive foodie was great as well.
-The Big Reveal This goes for both Rean and C's routes, but the way the big reveal actually happened was brilliant. Jusis being the one to land the 'demasking' blow, Rufus showing his usual cunning, the demonstration of how far he can plan ahead when his back is against the wall, to just the atmosphere of the situation. Really well done in terms of the build up, reveal, and the events afterwards.
Cons (Rean's Route)- -Rean's party doesn't really do anything Sure they did do investigation things, but most of the time they were either being strung along by C or not being able to do much of anything due to plot reasons. I wanted to see them do at least a little bit of something for themselves before C's machinations started to kick in. Eh, could've been worse.
Pros (C's Route)- -Swin, Nadia, and Lapis These three are some of the most refreshing characters from the series in a while. Their comedic dynamic and overall vibe feels closer to something out of Sky than anything we've gotten since somehow, and overall they just feel very different in both comedic style and character dynamic compared to the Cold Steel and Zero/Azure casts. It's a change in writing style that at this stage is more than welcome.
-The Interplay This game has so far done all of its sequence breaking right. You start of thinking you're doing a pretty standard multi character story, but then the TRC happens. And with C and Rean's route, the full potential of a multi perspective story is realised almost completely. From each team fighting each other, to each team influencing the other's actions across the course of the story, to the sheer novelty of what's happening, I think this part of the game is downright genius and one of the best things the writers have done in terms of game design since the isometric games.
-Rufus An enigma even when you're playing as him, the fact he's one of the main characters is fascinating, and I really like how it pulls the rug from under you. I've heard a lot of people thought it might've been Cedric before the reveal, but honestly I think this is so much cooler.
Cons (C's Route)- -Under Heimdallr I like underground sewer levels when they're done right but I'm really tired of them at this point, drab scenery with not much else to do other than follow the straight path that you might need to deviate from to grab a chest or flip a switch, and then right back. The scenery is dull, the travelling is dull, the only real motivation here is that you have to do it to advance the main story. If these levels come up again in Calvard, I really hope they've revamped them into something a little more unique.
Conclusion- This is a really promising start. The TRC was great, a somewhat different area for the different casts to interact, and for the various Daydreams to be accessed. This is definitely an upgrade on Sky the 3rd. My one complaint is that the end to Lloyd's act two isn't... great... but it's okay enough that I can just let it exist and move on. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading, and I'll see you after Act Three! Or whenever I view my 5th Daydream because I'll be posting a separate review for that.
submitted by ACertainThrowawayTag to Falcom [link] [comments]
A Brief Review of Trails into Reverie: Act One- Lost Freedom and Plans Laid byu/ACertainThrowawayTag inFalcomIntroduction- In this review, I will indicate where Rean and C's sections (C Section???) overlap, as they each share some really cool elements. Outside of that, pretty interesting Acts! Obviously you have the True Reverie Corridor, which I'll touch on briefly, but mostly won't mention unless there's anything in particular that's cool about it, and whose content I will mostly be reviewing in my separate review series about the Daydreams, which doesn't have enough content to be mentioned just yet.
Lloyd's act was probably my least favourite, it had some really sweet moments, especially Lloyd's pain right at the start of the act, as well as Lechter's appearance, but for the most part I think it has some pretty major issues which I'll go into more in the pros and cons. Rean's act was pretty standard fare for what we're used to with Class 7, nothing revolutionary there, but it was C's act that stands out for both its comedy and light nature, as well as the way it ties into Rean's act and makes it better as a result. Anyway, lets get into some specifics.
Pros (Lloyd's Route)- -The Opening Scenes The emotional impact of seeing Lloyd beat down and bedridden after the end of Act One, as well as Rixia's concern, and his foolhardy stubbornness in the face of everything that just happened was quite something. It really did remind me of how his character was during his best bits in Azure. Shame it kind of faded as the Act went on.
-Lechter Like with Claire, the fact that Lechter is one of the first people to rejoin your party after everything (ESPECIALLY given what's going on, and what he did to the SSS during Cold Steel 3 for example) is a really clever move in my opinion, and it adds a different dynamic to the party. That and he's just really cool here, kind of regaining his aloof but clued in schtick that he had in the original Crossbell games.
-Rixia Unlike Elie, whose emotional beats don't really hit (but that's an issue with her character as a whole), Rixia's emotion at the end of this act, as well as throughout it are just pretty well done. Not the best writing the series has seen, but it's consistent with her character, and adds some weight and emotional gravity that quite frankly wouldn't exist otherwise.
Cons (Lloyd's Route)- -Cao and Heiyue God I can't emphasise how much I hate Cao fucking Lee. Of all the 'all according' to plan characters he's by far the worst. Gets his shit kicked in every time, his plans never fully work, and then he fucks back off into the shadows. I appreciate morally grey characters, and scheming characters, if they're done well, and Cao is far from done well here.
-Ilya (and Shanshan as well I guess) Why? What does this do? Like sure I getting her dance hypnotises the population but why is this the story beat they decided to use here? More to the point why is Ilya the character at the heart of the plot beat? It all just feels a bit weak tbh. Also as much as I loved Rixia's appearance here, the stuff with Shanshan was just weak lmao I'm sorry.
Pros (Rean's Route)- -The investigation of Heimdallr It was great to be back in the old Eastern Districts we hadn't seen since CS1. Just seeing the old sights and going round the old places again really worked somehow. Kind of makes me wish we got more of the old CS12 cities like Bareahard and Roer. Hell, I'd love to have seen Celdic again. But I understand that probably wouldn't work for CS34 and Reverie.
-Millium and Altina Man I've missed these two. Their character relationship has certainly evolved since CS2 and early CS3, however it feels natural (to an extent), and it's just such a blast seeing them finally able to talk to each other as 'family' after all the stuff that happened in CS4. The bit with Millium figuring out how Lapis and Nadia were moving across the city because she also happens to be a massive foodie was great as well.
-The Big Reveal This goes for both Rean and C's routes, but the way the big reveal actually happened was brilliant. Jusis being the one to land the 'demasking' blow, Rufus showing his usual cunning, the demonstration of how far he can plan ahead when his back is against the wall, to just the atmosphere of the situation. Really well done in terms of the build up, reveal, and the events afterwards.
Cons (Rean's Route)- -Rean's party doesn't really do anything Sure they did do investigation things, but most of the time they were either being strung along by C or not being able to do much of anything due to plot reasons. I wanted to see them do at least a little bit of something for themselves before C's machinations started to kick in. Eh, could've been worse.
Pros (C's Route)- -Swin, Nadia, and Lapis These three are some of the most refreshing characters from the series in a while. Their comedic dynamic and overall vibe feels closer to something out of Sky than anything we've gotten since somehow, and overall they just feel very different in both comedic style and character dynamic compared to the Cold Steel and Zero/Azure casts. It's a change in writing style that at this stage is more than welcome.
-The Interplay This game has so far done all of its sequence breaking right. You start of thinking you're doing a pretty standard multi character story, but then the TRC happens. And with C and Rean's route, the full potential of a multi perspective story is realised almost completely. From each team fighting each other, to each team influencing the other's actions across the course of the story, to the sheer novelty of what's happening, I think this part of the game is downright genius and one of the best things the writers have done in terms of game design since the isometric games.
-Rufus An enigma even when you're playing as him, the fact he's one of the main characters is fascinating, and I really like how it pulls the rug from under you. I've heard a lot of people thought it might've been Cedric before the reveal, but honestly I think this is so much cooler.
Cons (C's Route)- -Under Heimdallr I like underground sewer levels when they're done right but I'm really tired of them at this point, drab scenery with not much else to do other than follow the straight path that you might need to deviate from to grab a chest or flip a switch, and then right back. The scenery is dull, the travelling is dull, the only real motivation here is that you have to do it to advance the main story. If these levels come up again in Calvard, I really hope they've revamped them into something a little more unique.
Conclusion- This is a really promising start. The TRC was great, a somewhat different area for the different casts to interact, and for the various Daydreams to be accessed. This is definitely an upgrade on Sky the 3rd. My one complaint is that the end to Lloyd's act two isn't... great... but it's okay enough that I can just let it exist and move on. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading, and I'll see you after Act Three! Or whenever I view my 5th Daydream because I'll be posting a separate review for that.
2024.05.19 16:48 purple_bag2033 Creating a new routine
I have just graduated from college and now I want to start setting up a good routine that I could follow everyday. I do struggled with executive dysfunction and time blindness. I’ll spend too much time on my phone or working on a project that I miss out on other things. For example, if I have to go to work at 3 PM, I spend the first few hours on my phone and then I spend the remainder of that time rushing to get ready. As a result, I end up stressing about what I need to get done and now I feel like I’m in a rush with everything.
The only issue with creating an everyday routine is that work gives me random hours. I’m probably gonna talk to them about this and see what they can do and yet I struggle to see what my week would look like.
Does anyone have any advice on how to manage an every day routine when you have a change in schedule?
submitted by purple_bag2033 to AutisticWithADHD [link] [comments]
The only issue with creating an everyday routine is that work gives me random hours. I’m probably gonna talk to them about this and see what they can do and yet I struggle to see what my week would look like.
Does anyone have any advice on how to manage an every day routine when you have a change in schedule?
2024.05.19 16:47 No_Champion7451 Why did my 2 mods get banned for reason "Not a mod, mods must contain playable content" yet hundreds of other guides are allowed to endure
I recently got my 2 mod lists removed for the reason "Not a mod, mods must contain playable content". Yet hundreds of other PDF files serving as help to the modding community are on Nexus Just to give an example this one has 120,000 downloads. It is a PDF file the same as mine is: https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/51229?tab=files
Just to give another example, one that mine was very similar to with 7,000 downloads. https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/116524?tab=files
And just to give a third with 6,000 downloads, one of many PDF guides that are on Nexus helping the modding community https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/8489?tab=files
Yet my PDF file got to 8,000 downloads, almost 200 endorsements, and it got taken down. I feel really low about it as I put a ton of work and effort into the 2 mod lists for the Nexus community to use and as you can see from endorsements and downloads the community really found them useful.
Some of you might be familiar with NSFW Skyrim (OstimSA) Mod List & NSFW Skyrim (FlowerGirls) Mod List.
I am getting all sorts of messages from the Nexus community, asking how is this possible and there is so much stuff on Nexus in mods that is unplayable content and helping the community.
I still have hope we can resolve this issue hence why I'm writing. I messaged Pickysaurus about it multiple times but he just ignores my question on why it got taken down and tells me to go use collections feature. It feels like I am getting picked on as an individual. Because all other PDF guides are aloud to endure on Nexus, and I sent him links of PDF files as mods which are apparently what is not aloud, but he ignores me.
This is really frustrating as how can one know what is allowed and not allowed if certain things are getting removed for not being playable content, yet other guides and not playable content are allowed to stay up? It is not fair by a long margin. I hope you can see it from my point of view. I'm not even trying to get my mods back at this stage although I'd love to regain the hours I lost, really I just want to know what I messed up so I don't do it in future. But I am not getting any response from Picky or [Support@NexusMods.com](mailto:Support@NexusMods.com)
My Nexus profile is https://next.nexusmods.com/profile/Triberzis
submitted by No_Champion7451 to skyrimmods [link] [comments]
Just to give another example, one that mine was very similar to with 7,000 downloads. https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/116524?tab=files
And just to give a third with 6,000 downloads, one of many PDF guides that are on Nexus helping the modding community https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/8489?tab=files
Yet my PDF file got to 8,000 downloads, almost 200 endorsements, and it got taken down. I feel really low about it as I put a ton of work and effort into the 2 mod lists for the Nexus community to use and as you can see from endorsements and downloads the community really found them useful.
Some of you might be familiar with NSFW Skyrim (OstimSA) Mod List & NSFW Skyrim (FlowerGirls) Mod List.
I am getting all sorts of messages from the Nexus community, asking how is this possible and there is so much stuff on Nexus in mods that is unplayable content and helping the community.
I still have hope we can resolve this issue hence why I'm writing. I messaged Pickysaurus about it multiple times but he just ignores my question on why it got taken down and tells me to go use collections feature. It feels like I am getting picked on as an individual. Because all other PDF guides are aloud to endure on Nexus, and I sent him links of PDF files as mods which are apparently what is not aloud, but he ignores me.
This is really frustrating as how can one know what is allowed and not allowed if certain things are getting removed for not being playable content, yet other guides and not playable content are allowed to stay up? It is not fair by a long margin. I hope you can see it from my point of view. I'm not even trying to get my mods back at this stage although I'd love to regain the hours I lost, really I just want to know what I messed up so I don't do it in future. But I am not getting any response from Picky or [Support@NexusMods.com](mailto:Support@NexusMods.com)
My Nexus profile is https://next.nexusmods.com/profile/Triberzis
2024.05.19 16:47 Jumpy-Trust5375 How can I move on in this kind of situation?
I (20yo F) met this girl (20yo F) at the start of the school year and I've known her for almost 9 months now. When we first met she was pretty shy and reserved and I immediately took a liking to her and we were becoming friends, she's very shy so i initiated most conversations and took the first step to befriend her. Somewhere along the way I think I developed a romantic interest in her so I took a step back and would treat her coldly one day and nicely the next just because I did not know what the hell was up with my feelings at the time or why was I having butterflies in my stomach over another freaking girl. Anyways this went on for a couple of months until she put up a wall with me and you could just tell our relationship turned super awkward. We went from making jokes around each other to pretending we're not close at all, and there's just so much random tension between us. It's the end of the school year now and I feel very regretful that I did not ask her about whatever the hell happened between us that we became like this the moment I felt something was wrong. I don't know if I should even bring it up or just let it go. I want to apologise for being so hot and cold with her but I also want to know why she suddenly turned ice cold with me. This whole situation makes me very sad and I really don't want us to go our separate ways just like this. What's your best advice in a situation like this? Should i bring it up now or no
TL;DR; I made a mistake and I feel bad about it regarding a friend I had a crush on.How do I fix it
submitted by Jumpy-Trust5375 to relationships [link] [comments]
TL;DR; I made a mistake and I feel bad about it regarding a friend I had a crush on.How do I fix it
2024.05.19 16:47 Unlucky_Loss_5074 Is there a reason to be hopeful about the future of psychiatric diagnosis and treatment (including non-pharmacological interventions) ? Will we ever get precise and personalized psychiatric care in our lifetime ? What timeline do you think? I really need hope right now.
Hey docs and other practicioners,
I'm 27 yo M from continental Western-Europe. In DSM/ICD categorical terms, I suffer from GAD, MDD (multiple episodes, too many to count, started around 19, 1 suicide attempt, active and passive suicidal ideation typical during episodes), ADHD, nicotine dependecy (+possibly ASD/social anxiety/sleep apnea/convergence insufficiency but they're all things we've yet to explore).
Psycho-socially speaking I've had a very difficult childhood to say the least (though I do not feel traumatized by it, it'd be a suprise if it didn't impact my nervous system's development), dysfunctional family, in the closet as an atheist and gay man from an Arab/Muslim family, poverty, live alone on social security, never had a job, been trying to get a higher education degree since forever etc. All a complicated mess.
Mental health issues have wrecked my life and destroyed all of my dreams and ambitions, even though on paper I have the intellectual abilities to achieve them.
I thought initially that how I felt was normal, just some "shit life syndrome", so for years I've tried on my own with no success. It was only when I talked to all these people with similar backgrounds, who didn't have the same devastating mental experience as me, that I realized there was something fundamentally different about my experience of my shit life. These folks had very difficult lives and were doing ok and managed to actively work in spite of all determinisms to make it better one day, without losing hope and persevering. Some of them are already succeeding, other are still working and not giving up. Other are ok with where they are and not that pressed about their issues.
Anyway, saw a bunch of psychiatrists over the years who all ended up with the same basic diagnoses (ADHD, GAD, MDD), tried a bunch of meds with little success. Sticking with the current one because we have a good therapeutic relationship,we started everything from scratch after almost a year with no meds.
Anyway, I'm on 50mg Vyvanse, 20mg escitalopram, current psych encouraged me recently to start psychotherapy which I did, the psychologist seems good too.
It's been months now. Mentally I'm nowhere near my worst, though far far away from well, functionally there doesn't seem to be much improvement. Plus after 4 weeks on 20mg escitalopram where it felt like I was getting better, the last 3 days that uncomfortable depression/anxiety feeling is starting to creep back in out of nowhere. I'm hoping it's an anomaly.
I'm not suicidal rn but I don't know if I'll be able to spend a lifetime like this. My life is passing me by. I just want to live, move on and instead I'm this dysfunctional mess. Even if I were to stabilize, how long before tolerance/poop-out kicks in, and then back on the medication trial-and-error carousel, back on the "try this psychotherapy modality" carousel.
I don't miss a single appointment with the psychiatrist (and since recently psychologist), never miss taking meds, stopped (chain-)smoking tobacco, stopped my precious coffee. I know vaping isn't healthy but working on it. Trying to fix my sleep schedule (I have heavy "bedtime resistance") etc. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do.
My only hope is future psychiatry/psychology managing to give me at least a couple of years of mental peace. If not, I'm thinking of discussing euthanasia with my doctor cause I can't spend a lifetime like this. I'd rather stop suffering now.
TLDR: little solid mental and functional advancements made for now in my mental health journey, afraid I'll spend my life trying, current options seem limited and unsustainable, thinking of opening the discussion on euthanasia if I won't ever manage to live a productive life I can be at least a little proud of.
submitted by Unlucky_Loss_5074 to AskPsychiatry [link] [comments]
I'm 27 yo M from continental Western-Europe. In DSM/ICD categorical terms, I suffer from GAD, MDD (multiple episodes, too many to count, started around 19, 1 suicide attempt, active and passive suicidal ideation typical during episodes), ADHD, nicotine dependecy (+possibly ASD/social anxiety/sleep apnea/convergence insufficiency but they're all things we've yet to explore).
Psycho-socially speaking I've had a very difficult childhood to say the least (though I do not feel traumatized by it, it'd be a suprise if it didn't impact my nervous system's development), dysfunctional family, in the closet as an atheist and gay man from an Arab/Muslim family, poverty, live alone on social security, never had a job, been trying to get a higher education degree since forever etc. All a complicated mess.
Mental health issues have wrecked my life and destroyed all of my dreams and ambitions, even though on paper I have the intellectual abilities to achieve them.
I thought initially that how I felt was normal, just some "shit life syndrome", so for years I've tried on my own with no success. It was only when I talked to all these people with similar backgrounds, who didn't have the same devastating mental experience as me, that I realized there was something fundamentally different about my experience of my shit life. These folks had very difficult lives and were doing ok and managed to actively work in spite of all determinisms to make it better one day, without losing hope and persevering. Some of them are already succeeding, other are still working and not giving up. Other are ok with where they are and not that pressed about their issues.
Anyway, saw a bunch of psychiatrists over the years who all ended up with the same basic diagnoses (ADHD, GAD, MDD), tried a bunch of meds with little success. Sticking with the current one because we have a good therapeutic relationship,we started everything from scratch after almost a year with no meds.
Anyway, I'm on 50mg Vyvanse, 20mg escitalopram, current psych encouraged me recently to start psychotherapy which I did, the psychologist seems good too.
It's been months now. Mentally I'm nowhere near my worst, though far far away from well, functionally there doesn't seem to be much improvement. Plus after 4 weeks on 20mg escitalopram where it felt like I was getting better, the last 3 days that uncomfortable depression/anxiety feeling is starting to creep back in out of nowhere. I'm hoping it's an anomaly.
I'm not suicidal rn but I don't know if I'll be able to spend a lifetime like this. My life is passing me by. I just want to live, move on and instead I'm this dysfunctional mess. Even if I were to stabilize, how long before tolerance/poop-out kicks in, and then back on the medication trial-and-error carousel, back on the "try this psychotherapy modality" carousel.
I don't miss a single appointment with the psychiatrist (and since recently psychologist), never miss taking meds, stopped (chain-)smoking tobacco, stopped my precious coffee. I know vaping isn't healthy but working on it. Trying to fix my sleep schedule (I have heavy "bedtime resistance") etc. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do.
My only hope is future psychiatry/psychology managing to give me at least a couple of years of mental peace. If not, I'm thinking of discussing euthanasia with my doctor cause I can't spend a lifetime like this. I'd rather stop suffering now.
TLDR: little solid mental and functional advancements made for now in my mental health journey, afraid I'll spend my life trying, current options seem limited and unsustainable, thinking of opening the discussion on euthanasia if I won't ever manage to live a productive life I can be at least a little proud of.
2024.05.19 16:47 SatisfactionEasy2771 Senior Execs - how are you dealing with layoffs
I got laid off 4 months ago from a mega Corp. I was middle management IC (IC by choice) but fairly senior, with 500K+ TC, after 20+ YOE in VHCOL.
First layoff for me, so I was numb for almost 2 months. Just recently starting to feel normal again, but I still have few moments of depression (I'm worthless and cannot provide for family, i am not adding value to society, etc.) and anxiety (what's next, how will I make money, what if no one hires me ever again).
Few interviews, 1 final round but haven't landed anything. It's a numbers game I guess, so will keep networking, applying, talking to 3P recruiters.
Thankfully, have practiced good money habits for 20 yrs, so have 12mo of liquid funds, but still can't shake off the depression and anxiety. I know I am relatively privileged currently, and people have it way worse, but I come from very poor background in a 3rd world country, so scarcity mindset, fight-or-flight is working against me.
I don't wanna blame America, capitalism, or the system, as it's the same system that gave me what I have today. I am blessed in that sense.
How did other seniomiddle management come out of these negative thoughts, after career hiccups?
How did you land back on your feet? I seem to be doing everything recommended on these forums and online, but timings seems to be very bad.
What can/should I do, to keep myself busy and mentally engaged. I have 2 kids under 7, but as a driven person, watching them grow at home and giving them time, isn't doing it for me. (I am a good dad, just can't be dad full-time). Doing generic class and courses may not cut it either, but open to suggestions.
Have a working spouse, who is a rock and supporting me right now, but she can only do so much.
Any stories from others in same boat will also help, as I just want to know there are other real people, who have come out strong on the other end. Need broad inspiration and hope, in these seemingly dark times
Rant over....
submitted by SatisfactionEasy2771 to Layoffs [link] [comments]
First layoff for me, so I was numb for almost 2 months. Just recently starting to feel normal again, but I still have few moments of depression (I'm worthless and cannot provide for family, i am not adding value to society, etc.) and anxiety (what's next, how will I make money, what if no one hires me ever again).
Few interviews, 1 final round but haven't landed anything. It's a numbers game I guess, so will keep networking, applying, talking to 3P recruiters.
Thankfully, have practiced good money habits for 20 yrs, so have 12mo of liquid funds, but still can't shake off the depression and anxiety. I know I am relatively privileged currently, and people have it way worse, but I come from very poor background in a 3rd world country, so scarcity mindset, fight-or-flight is working against me.
I don't wanna blame America, capitalism, or the system, as it's the same system that gave me what I have today. I am blessed in that sense.
How did other seniomiddle management come out of these negative thoughts, after career hiccups?
How did you land back on your feet? I seem to be doing everything recommended on these forums and online, but timings seems to be very bad.
What can/should I do, to keep myself busy and mentally engaged. I have 2 kids under 7, but as a driven person, watching them grow at home and giving them time, isn't doing it for me. (I am a good dad, just can't be dad full-time). Doing generic class and courses may not cut it either, but open to suggestions.
Have a working spouse, who is a rock and supporting me right now, but she can only do so much.
Any stories from others in same boat will also help, as I just want to know there are other real people, who have come out strong on the other end. Need broad inspiration and hope, in these seemingly dark times
Rant over....
2024.05.19 16:47 Fit_Atmosphere_2615 AITA for cutting off a friend because of the way I felt
(Please excuse my grammar, english isn’t my first language)
So we’ve been friends since Elementary and moved schools a year after becoming friends, although we still kept contact despite us being in different schools. And we sorta reconnected again during first year high school, and we bonded again with each other and shit.
But despite all those years of friendship & stuff, I’m getting tired of her attitude at times, like when I’m ranting to her about something she’ll literally ignore my rants or either just say something like “Same” “So true” and then proceed to insert her bf into the convo. AND I REALLY DGAF ABOUT HER BOYFRIEND. I just need someone I can rant to and my feelings get invalidated. She also always finds a way to make it seem like she was the “victim” in a certain situation when she really isn’t.
Honestly my feelings get invalidated like half the time through the years of friendship with her, it’s like my feelings doesn’t matter, and hers is. Every time she’d rant to me, I literally give her advice and shit and most times she can’t really reciprocate the action ‘cause she would change topics SO fast.
Also, every good thing she’d done she’ll always find a way to reprimand it. It’s like she’s making the friendship look one sided and that I’d never done something good for her at all. I always lower my pride for her, and sacrificed a lot for her too. And now that we’re in a conflict, she’s sort of using it against me.
I don’t know how she does it but I swear she always finds herself in the spotlight, not in a good way no. She always has a new issue with our classmates, its been like that since last year and I’m getting sick of it. Because she always involves other people in her problem just to run away from it. (I am other people, really tho.) And this year I have the feeling she’s running away yet from another issue of hers and throwing HER responsibilities to me. She’d always excuse she’s sick, you get sick this much or just when you have an issue going on?
Now when I went to clear up my name she suddenly got angry at me (and our other friends) and shifted the blame to us, when no one literally instructed her to do that shit, we were simply just ranting and she decided suddenly she wants to save the day woohoo 🤓, when in reality she couldn’t handle all that shit and we were the ones who catched her responsibilities, defended her. But when we really can’t handle her shit anymore and just silently decided to avoid her a bit, she went ahead and made a big deal out of it. (It may seem like that to her but i swear to god every time you’d explain something to her she’ll get angry and will probably bring up all the good deeds she’d done and she’ll make herself the victim once again.) I’m also adding the fact that I was kind of part of the act she did (snitched) but my conscience couldn’t do it anymore because I kept lying just for the sake her name is clean. I could not focus on anything the whole week while she was having fun and she won’t listen to my rants of me not wanting to lie anymore, and kept pushing we can still do it when it’s so clear I couldn’t anymore?
I literally don’t know anymore, being friends with her drains the shit out of me. I’m saying like hanging out with her is fun, but her personality and attitude? Your entire will to live will be drained after a day of hanging out w her. It’s emotionally draining to be honest.
submitted by Fit_Atmosphere_2615 to AITAH [link] [comments]
So we’ve been friends since Elementary and moved schools a year after becoming friends, although we still kept contact despite us being in different schools. And we sorta reconnected again during first year high school, and we bonded again with each other and shit.
But despite all those years of friendship & stuff, I’m getting tired of her attitude at times, like when I’m ranting to her about something she’ll literally ignore my rants or either just say something like “Same” “So true” and then proceed to insert her bf into the convo. AND I REALLY DGAF ABOUT HER BOYFRIEND. I just need someone I can rant to and my feelings get invalidated. She also always finds a way to make it seem like she was the “victim” in a certain situation when she really isn’t.
Honestly my feelings get invalidated like half the time through the years of friendship with her, it’s like my feelings doesn’t matter, and hers is. Every time she’d rant to me, I literally give her advice and shit and most times she can’t really reciprocate the action ‘cause she would change topics SO fast.
Also, every good thing she’d done she’ll always find a way to reprimand it. It’s like she’s making the friendship look one sided and that I’d never done something good for her at all. I always lower my pride for her, and sacrificed a lot for her too. And now that we’re in a conflict, she’s sort of using it against me.
I don’t know how she does it but I swear she always finds herself in the spotlight, not in a good way no. She always has a new issue with our classmates, its been like that since last year and I’m getting sick of it. Because she always involves other people in her problem just to run away from it. (I am other people, really tho.) And this year I have the feeling she’s running away yet from another issue of hers and throwing HER responsibilities to me. She’d always excuse she’s sick, you get sick this much or just when you have an issue going on?
Now when I went to clear up my name she suddenly got angry at me (and our other friends) and shifted the blame to us, when no one literally instructed her to do that shit, we were simply just ranting and she decided suddenly she wants to save the day woohoo 🤓, when in reality she couldn’t handle all that shit and we were the ones who catched her responsibilities, defended her. But when we really can’t handle her shit anymore and just silently decided to avoid her a bit, she went ahead and made a big deal out of it. (It may seem like that to her but i swear to god every time you’d explain something to her she’ll get angry and will probably bring up all the good deeds she’d done and she’ll make herself the victim once again.) I’m also adding the fact that I was kind of part of the act she did (snitched) but my conscience couldn’t do it anymore because I kept lying just for the sake her name is clean. I could not focus on anything the whole week while she was having fun and she won’t listen to my rants of me not wanting to lie anymore, and kept pushing we can still do it when it’s so clear I couldn’t anymore?
I literally don’t know anymore, being friends with her drains the shit out of me. I’m saying like hanging out with her is fun, but her personality and attitude? Your entire will to live will be drained after a day of hanging out w her. It’s emotionally draining to be honest.
2024.05.19 16:47 quinn4winn Friends and people I've known no longer vegan?
I've noticed that recently most people I have known in my life that have been hard core vegans are now going the complete opposite way and are eating meat. One girl I knew at university who was also vegan, part of a vegan group where I live and worked in a vegan cafe. She was even a vegan YouTuber and made content about animal rights etc. She now eats meat and recently bought a puppy?!
I really struggle with this. I've been vegan since I was 17 so for 8 years. I feel I only get more passionate and have more love for animals every day and I can't ever imagine eating animals or their products again. I simply care too much and it's not food to me anymore. I don't understand how someone can go from claiming to love animals so much to eating it all again.
It's worse because they can't blame it on ignorance or being conditioned etc because they literally know everything. Fair enough people aren't educated, but how once you've seen footage and learnt the practices can you even begin to contribute to that again.
It makes it really hard for me to even think about these people let alone be friends with them. It actually hurts my heart and I just am finding it hard to have hope that things will change when people still know the truth and go back to these things. And this isn't just one person, probably about 5 people I know so far. Anyone else struggling with this or noticing this?
submitted by quinn4winn to vegan [link] [comments]
I really struggle with this. I've been vegan since I was 17 so for 8 years. I feel I only get more passionate and have more love for animals every day and I can't ever imagine eating animals or their products again. I simply care too much and it's not food to me anymore. I don't understand how someone can go from claiming to love animals so much to eating it all again.
It's worse because they can't blame it on ignorance or being conditioned etc because they literally know everything. Fair enough people aren't educated, but how once you've seen footage and learnt the practices can you even begin to contribute to that again.
It makes it really hard for me to even think about these people let alone be friends with them. It actually hurts my heart and I just am finding it hard to have hope that things will change when people still know the truth and go back to these things. And this isn't just one person, probably about 5 people I know so far. Anyone else struggling with this or noticing this?
2024.05.19 16:46 PersonalizedGameRecs [/r/boardgames PGR] How different does each **Caverna** play feels? I love Agricola and looking to get Caverna now, but I read that there is no much replay value since you can do exactly the same each playthrough. Is it true?
submitted by PersonalizedGameRecs to PersonalizedGameRecs [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 16:46 E_Latimer The old lady in the Bodega isn’t what she seems.
I think a lot about signals. Signals that show people what groups they belong to. Signals that hide the truth. Everybody uses signals to blend, entice, or trap.
Grandma Pearl died not long after her stroke, and I've been making bad decisions ever since. Maybe my expectations are too high, or I'm just an idiot. Either way, I ran away from the group home to be with people who called themselves my "family." They were the wrong people. They used the words family, brother, sister, and love like lock picks, stealing trust, and taking self-respect.
The only person I remember using the word family correctly was Grandma Pearl. She was a small woman who toured the US as an actress before settling with Granddad above their theatrical rentals shop. I was three when the car accident took Granddad and Mom, so I don't know if they used the word "family" correctly, but I hope they did.
I was never as outgoing as Grandma, but that didn't bother her; she taught me how to watch people. How to see their signals, and how to listen. When she died. I forgot a lot of those lessons for a while.
They called it a "family". The "family" moved product. That product could be goods, drugs, or people.
The uninitiated, like me, were distracted with food and a dry place to sleep, but it didn't take long to see behind the curtain. Things got too intense with the new "family" and I ran.
I ran back to my old neighborhood. The buildings were familiar even if my home was gone. The old theatrical shop had been turned into a microbrewery.
After an appropriate amount of self-pity, thirty minutes, I wandered the alleys, picking up cans or scavenging for bits and pieces that could be recycled, used, or bartered.
I recognized old faces, but I tried to stay out of sight. It was safer that way.
The only place I allowed myself to be seen was the old Lutheran church on the park's far side. Most people who might have known me had aged out of the congregation or died. It was worth the risk because St. Lazarus had a food pantry in the basement and gave out lunches most days, so I wasn't always hungry, which was nice.
I found a dry spot near the library to sleep, which seemed like a stroke of luck until it wasn't.
I had the contentment that came with being in a familiar place. Little bits of comfort let me believe, for a moment, that I wasn't a screw-up and hadn't trusted the wrong people. That moment scurried away when Stick found me.
Stick was a scary asshole. He technically wasn't in charge of the " family," but he made it work. He got things done. I have no idea how old he was. He was all corded muscle and could clock in between twenty and fifty. He looked half-starved and moved like a stalking predator, even with his limp.
His left leg was stiff. The knee didn't bend, and anytime he sat, his left leg would be splayed to the side like a kickstand on a bike. The leg was why he walked with a cane. The cane and how he used it was why we called him Stick.
I don't know why he took the time to track me down. It's not like I was wanted. Maybe it was that I had become property. Property shouldn't just wander off.
Sometimes, you feel a person before you see them. The air is different. When Stick was around, the air felt dead and motionless. I knew I was being watched before I opened my eyes.
Stick was sitting on a milk crate, his bad leg cocked to the side and his forehead resting on his cane. I pushed myself out from beneath the ductwork of the HVAC unit I had been sleeping under and slapped the dirt off my jeans.
"I thought that was you," Stick said as his sharp grin curved up to his unblinking dark eyes.
Stick wanted my discomfort. I'd seen him play the intimidation game too many times. He'd act too friendly, and then when you were good and worried, quick movements, a hand around the back of your neck, and violence would be next. Then he'd act like the whole mind fuck was a big joke, like you were friends, and isn't it great that you can joke around with someone who "really" cared.
It worked, too. If you were the unfortunate focus of Stick's attention, you would be grateful when he smiled and said, "Just a joke, kid. Don't be so sensitive." I'd seen the pattern enough times to know Stick trained people like dogs with his hot and cold game. I didn't like the game, or the fear, so I changed the pattern.
"Hey, Stick, did you come to help pick up cans?" I asked, making sure my smile reached my eyes. I was trying to be pleasant while ignoring the burning nervousness in my gut.
It was still dark out, but I could see Stick's expressions well enough.
Stick tapped his cane on the sidewalk and squinted at me skeptically before answering. "Just checking on my little brother."
We were not related.
Stick liked to call the uninitiated his little brothers or little sisters. He forced intimacy into his language. I didn't argue the point. Interactions went best with Stick when you agreed with everything he said.
"Thanks, man," I complimented, trying to sound genuine and ignorant as I stepped forward and offered him my hand.
Stick didn't move, but I could see that this conversation wasn't going as planned for him, and I forced myself not to react to his confusion. I couldn't break character, or he would know I was playing him.
Stick tapped his cane on the ground twice, grasped my hand, and stood. He watched me. I held his stare, but in an open, naive, guileless way that I had perfected in front of the mirror as grandma gave acting advice while she put her face on.
I once asked Grandma Perl why anyone would practice acting stupid. She pointed her mascara brush at me and, in her ditsiest Minnesota Nice character, said, "It's easier to be forgiven when people think you're a little dumb, don't ya know?" Like with most things, Grandma was right.
Before I understood what had happened, Stick pulled me into his side and slung an arm around my shoulder.
"You don't have a name yet. Everyone gets a name, but they don't get to pick it." He paused and gave me a Cheshire cat grin. "I have a name for you, little brother. You are going to be called Slide." Then he held my chin and forced eye contact." Your name will be Slide because I have never seen anyone slide out of shit faster than you. I can't tell if you do it on purpose or not, and I've been watching. I watch everybody. You do, too. Hell, this might be the first time I've ever heard you talk. So let's celebrate your name, Slide." Stick's smile slipped as he pulled me out of the alley. "We'll go do something special."
I stayed silent, knowing full well what was coming. Being named meant doing something you could never take back. It was public and would put you in prison if the police ever took the time to look for you. It meant severing yourself from your life before and relying entirely on the "family." I had been absent each time naming seemed to be in the cards, but I couldn't duck out this time.
There was only one place to go at this time of night that would have an impact, the Bodega.
The Bodega was a red hole in the wall with a glass door papered over with grocery ads years outdated. Canned salmon two for one seemed to be the dominant theme. Although there were two large windows, one on either side of the door, you could barely see in. The right window was a tapestry of cigarette promotions. The left window displayed the only swath of uncovered glass with a view of the interior. From the outside, the view was of tobacco, lottery scratchers, and Old Lady Imitari.
Old Lady Imitari owned the store. She was a short, dark-haired woman who always wore a long floral tank top. Grandma Pearl loved the old woman but said Imitari looked like an old man's thumb all the years she had known her, and Grandma moved to the neighborhood with Grandad thirty years ago. Imitari was a local legend even then because the Bodega was open twenty hours a day, three hundred sixty-five days a year, and no one else worked in the store. Grandma used to make an extra strong coffee called Barako and chat with Imitari sometimes when work in the shop was slow.
I would sneak out at night and try to catch Imitari sleeping. No matter the time, I never caught her snoozing, and she always saw me peeking at her through the window. I know she saw me because she would uncross her arms and wave her flyswatter at me.
All these memories flicked through my mind as Stick smiled his too-wide smile and pushed me into the Bodega.
Imitari flicked her fly swatter at me in acknowledgment, and her attention returned to the small TV she had nestled beside the cash register, which seemed to be the old woman's only real tether to the world outside her shop.
The inside of the Bodega was just a long hallway with shelves of convenience foods, drinks, home supplies, candy, and cold meds covering every available surface from floor to ceiling. The only break in the tunnel of products was the glass counter at the back corner of the store; Imitari presided over her mini domain by casually ignoring her shoppers. I tried to make eye contact with the old woman again as Stick pushed me to the back of the shop, but after her initial acknowledgment of our entrance, Imitari's eyes stayed focused on her TV.
As casually confident as possible, I walked to the cooler and grabbed an iced tea. "Want a drink," I asked over my shoulder, my voice unusually steady, given the electric current of anxiety flowing through me.
Stick sneered and tapped his cane twice on the ground. His eyes found all the security cameras in the tiny store, a frown creasing his angular features.
I followed his line of sight and finally realized what had bothered him. The cameras were fake. They looked like security cameras, but they weren't. There were no wires or lenses, just rectangles and circles in a security camera shape.
Stick took a deep breath and tapped his cane on the ground again. " There… is … so… much… here… to… see… but… no… one… is… watching," he said with a singsong. Then his sneer turned into a cruel smile.
I knew Stick wanted an audience for what he would force me to do. The fact that the security cameras were fakes meant that whatever was going to happen would now have to be significant. An event that the neighborhood wouldn't be able to ignore. My stomach twisted with the thought.
Stick waggled his eyebrows at me. He had been watching. He had seen my thoughts, and we both knew he had something terrible in mind.
The cane twirled in Stick's hand and then tapped twice on the shop tile.
"I think I want a little bit of this," Stick said, gesturing wildly with his cane, sending a row of soup cans tumbling to the floor. "And a little bit of that," Stick added as another wild gesture sent cups of ramen spinning and knocking glass bottles of hot sauce to the floor.
I stood paralyzed, unable to run. I was trapped with nowhere to duck away to. I didn't want Stick to hurt Old Lady Imitari, and I didn't want Stick to hurt me, either. The truth was, he would hurt both of us no matter what I did. That was just the way Stick was. I'd seen him. I'd seen him show us who he was every day.
Then I realized Imitari hadn't moved. She was watching her TV and chuckling at the sitcom as if nothing had happened.
Stick glanced at me, confused. I almost felt sorry for the sociopath. His night was not going to plan.
Imitari chuckled at her TV again, and a crease formed in the middle of Stick's forehead, letting me know that he was beyond angry. He was calm, dangerous, and vicious. People had been left for dead when Stick got this way.
Stick raised his cane and flipped it so the handle jutted like a pickax. He was going to attack Imitari.
Somehow, I moved. I didn't do much, but when I slid forward and grabbed the back of Stick's shirt, the cane missed Imitari, and the sharp handle punctured the thick glass top of the counter just above a roll of Lotto scratchers.
Old lady Imitari slowly looked up into Stick's eyes and smiled. Her wide, gentle frown was replaced with a look of joy and something else, something primal, something hungry. Her pupils were blown, and I had the uneasy feeling that I was watching someone be served their absolute favorite meal.
Before Stick could pull his cane from the punctured glass, Imitari casually reached forward, grabbed the cane, and pulled the wirey man forward. Small, old, and wrinkled, Imitari stared into Stick's eyes and overpowered him.
Stick fell forward across the counter. He tried to push himself back, but Imitari's hand clamped down on his wrist like a vice.
Bones ground together as Imitari pulled Stick's hand to her mouth, and with a swift, subtle movement, she bit off the tips of Stick's pinky and ring finger like she was sampling a cookie.
I jumped back next to the cooler as a thin spray of blood arched toward me.
Stick screamed and thrashed, but Imitari's small form was static and immovable. Stick was a fly in a trap. No matter how much he struggled, punched, poked, or kicked, he could not break the old woman's hold. Then, slowly, she took another bite.
It was strangely fascinating watching the frail form of this old woman I had known for years take bite after bite out of Stick. This man, whom I thought of as a predator, a hunter, an enforcer, was crying and begging while an old woman, who looked like a wrinkled thumb in a floral top, quietly devoured him.
I was surprised by the lack of blood after the first spray. I'm sure it was Imitari's crushing grip that stanched the flow of blood. The flesh of Stick's arm looked white from the pressure.
Hand over hand, Imitari pulled Stick forward. Bones cracked as she gripped higher on Stick's arm, clamped down with her long leathery fingers, and fed the flesh and bone, one concise bite at a time, into her open smiling maw. It was rhythmical in its simplicity: chomp, crunch, chew, chew, swallow. Over and over, the pattern continued until the begging stopped.
Stick wasn't dead. He gave up. Not struggling, he laid over the glass counter like a rag doll. He watched me glassily as Imitari took bite after bite, and I knew he wasn't there anymore. Whatever made Stick Stick had either curled up and hidden in a dark corner of his mind or had been devoured with his arm.
The old woman seemed displeased that her meal had stopped struggling. She shook him, but he flopped, and his head lulled from side to side. Imitari frowned, let go of Stick's arm, and pushed down on the limp man's back. Blood gushed from the ragged stump, and Imitari lowered her mouth and drank from the wound like she was sipping from a garden hose.
Stick didn't move. He just grew pail, and eventually, his panicked, shallow breaths ended, and the blood stopped flowing.
Then Imitari stood. With a quick tug, she pulled Stick's body over the counter and let it flop to the floor at her feet. Her eyes closed. A contented smile bloomed on her face as the explosive sound of crunching and cracking bones echoed through the small shop.
The deafening sound of crunching stopped, and only the buzzing of the drinks cooler reverberated through the small space. Imitari opened her eyes and watched me, a broad smile still on her lips. At that moment, I realized I could hear the drinks cooler so well because I had crawled into it, wedged between the glass door and the shelves.
Imitari held me with her gaze as cords of pink flesh lowered from the ceiling and efficiently tidied up Stick's mess, lapping up blood and hot sauce, placing cans on shelves, and scooping up cups of ramen with whip-like tendrils. Then, the cords of flesh nudged me forward, and I stood before Old Lady Imitari.
The thing that I had always thought of as a stern old woman handed me Stick's cane. With the same benign smile I remembered from buying red hots from it as a ten-year-old, it waved me away with its flyswatter, and the cords of flesh pushed me out the door onto the sidewalk.
submitted by E_Latimer to nosleep [link] [comments]
Grandma Pearl died not long after her stroke, and I've been making bad decisions ever since. Maybe my expectations are too high, or I'm just an idiot. Either way, I ran away from the group home to be with people who called themselves my "family." They were the wrong people. They used the words family, brother, sister, and love like lock picks, stealing trust, and taking self-respect.
The only person I remember using the word family correctly was Grandma Pearl. She was a small woman who toured the US as an actress before settling with Granddad above their theatrical rentals shop. I was three when the car accident took Granddad and Mom, so I don't know if they used the word "family" correctly, but I hope they did.
I was never as outgoing as Grandma, but that didn't bother her; she taught me how to watch people. How to see their signals, and how to listen. When she died. I forgot a lot of those lessons for a while.
They called it a "family". The "family" moved product. That product could be goods, drugs, or people.
The uninitiated, like me, were distracted with food and a dry place to sleep, but it didn't take long to see behind the curtain. Things got too intense with the new "family" and I ran.
I ran back to my old neighborhood. The buildings were familiar even if my home was gone. The old theatrical shop had been turned into a microbrewery.
After an appropriate amount of self-pity, thirty minutes, I wandered the alleys, picking up cans or scavenging for bits and pieces that could be recycled, used, or bartered.
I recognized old faces, but I tried to stay out of sight. It was safer that way.
The only place I allowed myself to be seen was the old Lutheran church on the park's far side. Most people who might have known me had aged out of the congregation or died. It was worth the risk because St. Lazarus had a food pantry in the basement and gave out lunches most days, so I wasn't always hungry, which was nice.
I found a dry spot near the library to sleep, which seemed like a stroke of luck until it wasn't.
I had the contentment that came with being in a familiar place. Little bits of comfort let me believe, for a moment, that I wasn't a screw-up and hadn't trusted the wrong people. That moment scurried away when Stick found me.
Stick was a scary asshole. He technically wasn't in charge of the " family," but he made it work. He got things done. I have no idea how old he was. He was all corded muscle and could clock in between twenty and fifty. He looked half-starved and moved like a stalking predator, even with his limp.
His left leg was stiff. The knee didn't bend, and anytime he sat, his left leg would be splayed to the side like a kickstand on a bike. The leg was why he walked with a cane. The cane and how he used it was why we called him Stick.
I don't know why he took the time to track me down. It's not like I was wanted. Maybe it was that I had become property. Property shouldn't just wander off.
Sometimes, you feel a person before you see them. The air is different. When Stick was around, the air felt dead and motionless. I knew I was being watched before I opened my eyes.
Stick was sitting on a milk crate, his bad leg cocked to the side and his forehead resting on his cane. I pushed myself out from beneath the ductwork of the HVAC unit I had been sleeping under and slapped the dirt off my jeans.
"I thought that was you," Stick said as his sharp grin curved up to his unblinking dark eyes.
Stick wanted my discomfort. I'd seen him play the intimidation game too many times. He'd act too friendly, and then when you were good and worried, quick movements, a hand around the back of your neck, and violence would be next. Then he'd act like the whole mind fuck was a big joke, like you were friends, and isn't it great that you can joke around with someone who "really" cared.
It worked, too. If you were the unfortunate focus of Stick's attention, you would be grateful when he smiled and said, "Just a joke, kid. Don't be so sensitive." I'd seen the pattern enough times to know Stick trained people like dogs with his hot and cold game. I didn't like the game, or the fear, so I changed the pattern.
"Hey, Stick, did you come to help pick up cans?" I asked, making sure my smile reached my eyes. I was trying to be pleasant while ignoring the burning nervousness in my gut.
It was still dark out, but I could see Stick's expressions well enough.
Stick tapped his cane on the sidewalk and squinted at me skeptically before answering. "Just checking on my little brother."
We were not related.
Stick liked to call the uninitiated his little brothers or little sisters. He forced intimacy into his language. I didn't argue the point. Interactions went best with Stick when you agreed with everything he said.
"Thanks, man," I complimented, trying to sound genuine and ignorant as I stepped forward and offered him my hand.
Stick didn't move, but I could see that this conversation wasn't going as planned for him, and I forced myself not to react to his confusion. I couldn't break character, or he would know I was playing him.
Stick tapped his cane on the ground twice, grasped my hand, and stood. He watched me. I held his stare, but in an open, naive, guileless way that I had perfected in front of the mirror as grandma gave acting advice while she put her face on.
I once asked Grandma Perl why anyone would practice acting stupid. She pointed her mascara brush at me and, in her ditsiest Minnesota Nice character, said, "It's easier to be forgiven when people think you're a little dumb, don't ya know?" Like with most things, Grandma was right.
Before I understood what had happened, Stick pulled me into his side and slung an arm around my shoulder.
"You don't have a name yet. Everyone gets a name, but they don't get to pick it." He paused and gave me a Cheshire cat grin. "I have a name for you, little brother. You are going to be called Slide." Then he held my chin and forced eye contact." Your name will be Slide because I have never seen anyone slide out of shit faster than you. I can't tell if you do it on purpose or not, and I've been watching. I watch everybody. You do, too. Hell, this might be the first time I've ever heard you talk. So let's celebrate your name, Slide." Stick's smile slipped as he pulled me out of the alley. "We'll go do something special."
I stayed silent, knowing full well what was coming. Being named meant doing something you could never take back. It was public and would put you in prison if the police ever took the time to look for you. It meant severing yourself from your life before and relying entirely on the "family." I had been absent each time naming seemed to be in the cards, but I couldn't duck out this time.
There was only one place to go at this time of night that would have an impact, the Bodega.
The Bodega was a red hole in the wall with a glass door papered over with grocery ads years outdated. Canned salmon two for one seemed to be the dominant theme. Although there were two large windows, one on either side of the door, you could barely see in. The right window was a tapestry of cigarette promotions. The left window displayed the only swath of uncovered glass with a view of the interior. From the outside, the view was of tobacco, lottery scratchers, and Old Lady Imitari.
Old Lady Imitari owned the store. She was a short, dark-haired woman who always wore a long floral tank top. Grandma Pearl loved the old woman but said Imitari looked like an old man's thumb all the years she had known her, and Grandma moved to the neighborhood with Grandad thirty years ago. Imitari was a local legend even then because the Bodega was open twenty hours a day, three hundred sixty-five days a year, and no one else worked in the store. Grandma used to make an extra strong coffee called Barako and chat with Imitari sometimes when work in the shop was slow.
I would sneak out at night and try to catch Imitari sleeping. No matter the time, I never caught her snoozing, and she always saw me peeking at her through the window. I know she saw me because she would uncross her arms and wave her flyswatter at me.
All these memories flicked through my mind as Stick smiled his too-wide smile and pushed me into the Bodega.
Imitari flicked her fly swatter at me in acknowledgment, and her attention returned to the small TV she had nestled beside the cash register, which seemed to be the old woman's only real tether to the world outside her shop.
The inside of the Bodega was just a long hallway with shelves of convenience foods, drinks, home supplies, candy, and cold meds covering every available surface from floor to ceiling. The only break in the tunnel of products was the glass counter at the back corner of the store; Imitari presided over her mini domain by casually ignoring her shoppers. I tried to make eye contact with the old woman again as Stick pushed me to the back of the shop, but after her initial acknowledgment of our entrance, Imitari's eyes stayed focused on her TV.
As casually confident as possible, I walked to the cooler and grabbed an iced tea. "Want a drink," I asked over my shoulder, my voice unusually steady, given the electric current of anxiety flowing through me.
Stick sneered and tapped his cane twice on the ground. His eyes found all the security cameras in the tiny store, a frown creasing his angular features.
I followed his line of sight and finally realized what had bothered him. The cameras were fake. They looked like security cameras, but they weren't. There were no wires or lenses, just rectangles and circles in a security camera shape.
Stick took a deep breath and tapped his cane on the ground again. " There… is … so… much… here… to… see… but… no… one… is… watching," he said with a singsong. Then his sneer turned into a cruel smile.
I knew Stick wanted an audience for what he would force me to do. The fact that the security cameras were fakes meant that whatever was going to happen would now have to be significant. An event that the neighborhood wouldn't be able to ignore. My stomach twisted with the thought.
Stick waggled his eyebrows at me. He had been watching. He had seen my thoughts, and we both knew he had something terrible in mind.
The cane twirled in Stick's hand and then tapped twice on the shop tile.
"I think I want a little bit of this," Stick said, gesturing wildly with his cane, sending a row of soup cans tumbling to the floor. "And a little bit of that," Stick added as another wild gesture sent cups of ramen spinning and knocking glass bottles of hot sauce to the floor.
I stood paralyzed, unable to run. I was trapped with nowhere to duck away to. I didn't want Stick to hurt Old Lady Imitari, and I didn't want Stick to hurt me, either. The truth was, he would hurt both of us no matter what I did. That was just the way Stick was. I'd seen him. I'd seen him show us who he was every day.
Then I realized Imitari hadn't moved. She was watching her TV and chuckling at the sitcom as if nothing had happened.
Stick glanced at me, confused. I almost felt sorry for the sociopath. His night was not going to plan.
Imitari chuckled at her TV again, and a crease formed in the middle of Stick's forehead, letting me know that he was beyond angry. He was calm, dangerous, and vicious. People had been left for dead when Stick got this way.
Stick raised his cane and flipped it so the handle jutted like a pickax. He was going to attack Imitari.
Somehow, I moved. I didn't do much, but when I slid forward and grabbed the back of Stick's shirt, the cane missed Imitari, and the sharp handle punctured the thick glass top of the counter just above a roll of Lotto scratchers.
Old lady Imitari slowly looked up into Stick's eyes and smiled. Her wide, gentle frown was replaced with a look of joy and something else, something primal, something hungry. Her pupils were blown, and I had the uneasy feeling that I was watching someone be served their absolute favorite meal.
Before Stick could pull his cane from the punctured glass, Imitari casually reached forward, grabbed the cane, and pulled the wirey man forward. Small, old, and wrinkled, Imitari stared into Stick's eyes and overpowered him.
Stick fell forward across the counter. He tried to push himself back, but Imitari's hand clamped down on his wrist like a vice.
Bones ground together as Imitari pulled Stick's hand to her mouth, and with a swift, subtle movement, she bit off the tips of Stick's pinky and ring finger like she was sampling a cookie.
I jumped back next to the cooler as a thin spray of blood arched toward me.
Stick screamed and thrashed, but Imitari's small form was static and immovable. Stick was a fly in a trap. No matter how much he struggled, punched, poked, or kicked, he could not break the old woman's hold. Then, slowly, she took another bite.
It was strangely fascinating watching the frail form of this old woman I had known for years take bite after bite out of Stick. This man, whom I thought of as a predator, a hunter, an enforcer, was crying and begging while an old woman, who looked like a wrinkled thumb in a floral top, quietly devoured him.
I was surprised by the lack of blood after the first spray. I'm sure it was Imitari's crushing grip that stanched the flow of blood. The flesh of Stick's arm looked white from the pressure.
Hand over hand, Imitari pulled Stick forward. Bones cracked as she gripped higher on Stick's arm, clamped down with her long leathery fingers, and fed the flesh and bone, one concise bite at a time, into her open smiling maw. It was rhythmical in its simplicity: chomp, crunch, chew, chew, swallow. Over and over, the pattern continued until the begging stopped.
Stick wasn't dead. He gave up. Not struggling, he laid over the glass counter like a rag doll. He watched me glassily as Imitari took bite after bite, and I knew he wasn't there anymore. Whatever made Stick Stick had either curled up and hidden in a dark corner of his mind or had been devoured with his arm.
The old woman seemed displeased that her meal had stopped struggling. She shook him, but he flopped, and his head lulled from side to side. Imitari frowned, let go of Stick's arm, and pushed down on the limp man's back. Blood gushed from the ragged stump, and Imitari lowered her mouth and drank from the wound like she was sipping from a garden hose.
Stick didn't move. He just grew pail, and eventually, his panicked, shallow breaths ended, and the blood stopped flowing.
Then Imitari stood. With a quick tug, she pulled Stick's body over the counter and let it flop to the floor at her feet. Her eyes closed. A contented smile bloomed on her face as the explosive sound of crunching and cracking bones echoed through the small shop.
The deafening sound of crunching stopped, and only the buzzing of the drinks cooler reverberated through the small space. Imitari opened her eyes and watched me, a broad smile still on her lips. At that moment, I realized I could hear the drinks cooler so well because I had crawled into it, wedged between the glass door and the shelves.
Imitari held me with her gaze as cords of pink flesh lowered from the ceiling and efficiently tidied up Stick's mess, lapping up blood and hot sauce, placing cans on shelves, and scooping up cups of ramen with whip-like tendrils. Then, the cords of flesh nudged me forward, and I stood before Old Lady Imitari.
The thing that I had always thought of as a stern old woman handed me Stick's cane. With the same benign smile I remembered from buying red hots from it as a ten-year-old, it waved me away with its flyswatter, and the cords of flesh pushed me out the door onto the sidewalk.
2024.05.19 16:45 breathtaeker The drama BEFORE, DURING, & AFTER the wedding.
Hi Charlotte! Been wanting to post this but don't know which subreddit, but now that you're here, I can finally share it! love you, girl! It's a bit long, so please prepare yourself.
This was my cousin's (M28 - let's call him J) wedding, and I can confidently say it was shtshow from the start to the end. This story was mostly told by my mom, other cousins, and aunt. I was only able to witness what happened during the wedding itself.
BEFORE THE WEDDING
My cousin and his wife - then girlfriend (F28 - let's call her K) found out they were pregnant around early 2022, and J's MIL instantly wanted them to get married. In the beginning, the couple was hesitant because 1) they didn't have the funds & a wedding can be expensive af and 2) they wanted to prepare for the delivery of their child.
My uncle & aunt (his parent) were supportive of whatever decision they made but said preparing for the baby was more practical in their situation. MIL didn't budge and since the K followed whatever MIL said and J doesn't have a backbone lol they started planning for the wedding. Yall know where they're getting the money for the wedding? Well, MIL said to loan $4,000 from her for the wedding and told my uncle that he should be the one contributing to the wedding since J couldn't afford it, my aunt didn't want to as they had a lot on their plate already, but since my uncle is such a great guy he accepted it.
BUT THEN, my uncle's father suddenly passed away and he had to shoulder every expense for that funeral and other expenses related to my uncle's dad. It was a lot of money, and because they were grieving the wedding had to be postponed to mid-2023. I heard that MIL was so pissed at this decision and demanded to continue with the wedding and was actually fighting for it to happen, but my aunt put her foot down and said NO, and that someone very important in their family had just passed away, and that should be respected.
Fast forward to the arrival of the baby, yall MIL refused for J and K to live together because they weren't married yet, even though they already had a baby! and since K lives with MIL, nobody could protest so J had to travel 3 hrs from his parent's house to MIL's house every weekend just to be with his baby. J's sister said that it was so awkward whenever my uncle, aunt, and J's siblings would come over to MIL's house to see the baby. There was obvious tension between my aunt and MIL, cause MIL was an arrogant woman but my aunt was a feisty one lol
When the wedding planning started MIL was annoyingly involved in everything, that woman even demanded that my uncle pay for her dress and he said yes. He was actually the one who spent more money on that wedding than anyone else. My aunt obviously didn't like the fact that uncle was spending A LOT of money on this wedding, but we all knew why he kept doing it. MIL would sometimes be passive-aggressive by saying that my cousin's family can't afford this and that, so uncle had to step up and prove that they can. It was kind of immature, but who am I to judge? Anyway, this kept going until the wedding, we're not sure how much my uncle spent but it was a lot based on my aunt.
THE WEDDING A lot of us already expected something ridiculous would happen. This wedding was an all-expense paid trip for all the guests, where all of us would stay in this resort and the reception was being held in, which was also paid for by my uncle.
Now, let me list the drama that happened. A lot more probably happened but these were what stuck with me; 1. J's family had to pick up K's family at their house, including MIL. So they can all travel together. When they got there, everyone waited for them in the van except for J who personally got out to meet and greet the K's family. You guys, MIL was pissed at this because she expected everyone to get out of the van and greet HER inside the house as if she was a queen or something. We later found out about this after the wedding when MIL complained to K and demanded an apology from my aunt. my god. 2. During the reception, MIL, MIL's friends, my aunt, and other aunts were sitting at one table. MIL basically ignored my aunts' existence. There was a big bowl of food on the table and MIL openly and loudly offered it to her friends basically giving the bowl to them who were next to my aunt and then skipping past my aunt to offer it to another table. 3. When the food came out, it was so limited. The staff was even sorry about it, saying that they were told to basically give as little food as possible. We were told we could come back to get more food since it was a buffet, but when we were about to stand up to get more, we saw MIL barking orders to the staff TO HIDE THE FOOD UNDER THE TABLE. The staff was hesitant but since MIL paid for the food they couldn't really do anything. 4. My uncle saw what MIL was doing and immediately started gathering food for those that haven't eaten yet. MIL saw this happening and got very offended. We also learned after the wedding that MIL told this to K and demanded another apology from my uncle. 5. In our country, we have a tradition where during the couple's first dance everyone can give their money gift during the dance. Let's just say, that they collected a lot of money during that time, and MOH was assigned to collect it and put it in the bride's purse. I kid you not, once the MOH put the purse on the table, MIL swiftly snatched that purse as if her life depended on it.
These were the topics during and after the wedding because everyone was appalled by how MIL was acting.
AFTER THE WEDDING Now, everyone thought that it was over, but nope it wasn't. After the wedding, MIL complained to K about how disrespectful our side of the family was especially with what my uncle did in scenarios 1 & 4, and immediately demanded an apology from both my uncle and aunt. Of course, K talked to J about it and agreed to MIL, J then proceeded to text my aunt all this and demanded an apology. Hurt and offended, my aunt said no, and they argued about it, saying that our family has nothing to apologize for and MIL is very rude. K saw the messages and started arguing with J, ultimately, they couldn't get my aunt to apologize so K proceeded to kick J out of MIL's house until they received an apology.
My cousin is now back in his parent's house, still arguing with my aunt to apologize while begging his wife to see his child because K basically ghosted him and refused to let him see the baby until our aunt and uncle apologized.
Everyone in the family is pissed at K and her mom. We all feel awful for our uncle because he spent so much money on the wedding just for K and her family to block him everywhere. The last time he was able to reach out to K was when he begged her to see his granddaughter, the biatch never responded and just blocked him. He didn't deserve that disrespect, and I'd love to slap some senses on J with how he's handling this.
To K and her mom, eat shit.
submitted by breathtaeker to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
This was my cousin's (M28 - let's call him J) wedding, and I can confidently say it was shtshow from the start to the end. This story was mostly told by my mom, other cousins, and aunt. I was only able to witness what happened during the wedding itself.
BEFORE THE WEDDING
My cousin and his wife - then girlfriend (F28 - let's call her K) found out they were pregnant around early 2022, and J's MIL instantly wanted them to get married. In the beginning, the couple was hesitant because 1) they didn't have the funds & a wedding can be expensive af and 2) they wanted to prepare for the delivery of their child.
My uncle & aunt (his parent) were supportive of whatever decision they made but said preparing for the baby was more practical in their situation. MIL didn't budge and since the K followed whatever MIL said and J doesn't have a backbone lol they started planning for the wedding. Yall know where they're getting the money for the wedding? Well, MIL said to loan $4,000 from her for the wedding and told my uncle that he should be the one contributing to the wedding since J couldn't afford it, my aunt didn't want to as they had a lot on their plate already, but since my uncle is such a great guy he accepted it.
BUT THEN, my uncle's father suddenly passed away and he had to shoulder every expense for that funeral and other expenses related to my uncle's dad. It was a lot of money, and because they were grieving the wedding had to be postponed to mid-2023. I heard that MIL was so pissed at this decision and demanded to continue with the wedding and was actually fighting for it to happen, but my aunt put her foot down and said NO, and that someone very important in their family had just passed away, and that should be respected.
Fast forward to the arrival of the baby, yall MIL refused for J and K to live together because they weren't married yet, even though they already had a baby! and since K lives with MIL, nobody could protest so J had to travel 3 hrs from his parent's house to MIL's house every weekend just to be with his baby. J's sister said that it was so awkward whenever my uncle, aunt, and J's siblings would come over to MIL's house to see the baby. There was obvious tension between my aunt and MIL, cause MIL was an arrogant woman but my aunt was a feisty one lol
When the wedding planning started MIL was annoyingly involved in everything, that woman even demanded that my uncle pay for her dress and he said yes. He was actually the one who spent more money on that wedding than anyone else. My aunt obviously didn't like the fact that uncle was spending A LOT of money on this wedding, but we all knew why he kept doing it. MIL would sometimes be passive-aggressive by saying that my cousin's family can't afford this and that, so uncle had to step up and prove that they can. It was kind of immature, but who am I to judge? Anyway, this kept going until the wedding, we're not sure how much my uncle spent but it was a lot based on my aunt.
THE WEDDING A lot of us already expected something ridiculous would happen. This wedding was an all-expense paid trip for all the guests, where all of us would stay in this resort and the reception was being held in, which was also paid for by my uncle.
Now, let me list the drama that happened. A lot more probably happened but these were what stuck with me; 1. J's family had to pick up K's family at their house, including MIL. So they can all travel together. When they got there, everyone waited for them in the van except for J who personally got out to meet and greet the K's family. You guys, MIL was pissed at this because she expected everyone to get out of the van and greet HER inside the house as if she was a queen or something. We later found out about this after the wedding when MIL complained to K and demanded an apology from my aunt. my god. 2. During the reception, MIL, MIL's friends, my aunt, and other aunts were sitting at one table. MIL basically ignored my aunts' existence. There was a big bowl of food on the table and MIL openly and loudly offered it to her friends basically giving the bowl to them who were next to my aunt and then skipping past my aunt to offer it to another table. 3. When the food came out, it was so limited. The staff was even sorry about it, saying that they were told to basically give as little food as possible. We were told we could come back to get more food since it was a buffet, but when we were about to stand up to get more, we saw MIL barking orders to the staff TO HIDE THE FOOD UNDER THE TABLE. The staff was hesitant but since MIL paid for the food they couldn't really do anything. 4. My uncle saw what MIL was doing and immediately started gathering food for those that haven't eaten yet. MIL saw this happening and got very offended. We also learned after the wedding that MIL told this to K and demanded another apology from my uncle. 5. In our country, we have a tradition where during the couple's first dance everyone can give their money gift during the dance. Let's just say, that they collected a lot of money during that time, and MOH was assigned to collect it and put it in the bride's purse. I kid you not, once the MOH put the purse on the table, MIL swiftly snatched that purse as if her life depended on it.
These were the topics during and after the wedding because everyone was appalled by how MIL was acting.
AFTER THE WEDDING Now, everyone thought that it was over, but nope it wasn't. After the wedding, MIL complained to K about how disrespectful our side of the family was especially with what my uncle did in scenarios 1 & 4, and immediately demanded an apology from both my uncle and aunt. Of course, K talked to J about it and agreed to MIL, J then proceeded to text my aunt all this and demanded an apology. Hurt and offended, my aunt said no, and they argued about it, saying that our family has nothing to apologize for and MIL is very rude. K saw the messages and started arguing with J, ultimately, they couldn't get my aunt to apologize so K proceeded to kick J out of MIL's house until they received an apology.
My cousin is now back in his parent's house, still arguing with my aunt to apologize while begging his wife to see his child because K basically ghosted him and refused to let him see the baby until our aunt and uncle apologized.
Everyone in the family is pissed at K and her mom. We all feel awful for our uncle because he spent so much money on the wedding just for K and her family to block him everywhere. The last time he was able to reach out to K was when he begged her to see his granddaughter, the biatch never responded and just blocked him. He didn't deserve that disrespect, and I'd love to slap some senses on J with how he's handling this.
To K and her mom, eat shit.
2024.05.19 16:45 cappy1223 Joke #1 THE 2000 YEAR OLD MAN
THE 2000 YEAR OLD MAN (1975) - FULL TRANSCRIPT 2000 Year Old Man is an old Brooks-Reiner comedy routine turned into a half-hour animated TV special. Reiner, a TV reporter, interviews Brooks, a man claiming to be 2000 years old. The interview consists of a serious of questions regarding the history of the world. Brooks' answers to Reiner's questions are priceless.
About four days ago a plane landed at Idlewild Airport.
The plane came from the Middle East bearing a man who claims to be
2000 years old.
He spent the last six days at the Mayo Clinic.
Ei, sir.
Sir, is it true that you are 2000 years old?
Oh boy.
-Yes. -You are?
It's hard to believe sir because
in the history of man nobody has ever lived more than 167 years
wich a man from Peru claimed to be.
But you claim to be 2000?
I'll be, not yet. I'll be 2000, October 16th.
You will be 2000. When were you born?
We didn't have formal years and names and writing.
We didn't know. I see.
Nobody kept time.
See, we didn't know.
We didn't write. We just sat around, pointed in the sky
and said wow hot there wow.
-That's all they said? -We didn't even know it was the sun.
You really didn't know anything.
Anything, we were so dumb.
We didn't know who was a lady.
-But they were... -They were with us.
But we didn't know who they was
we didn't know who was the ladies and who was fellows.
You thought they were just different type of fellows.
Yes, stronger or smaller or softer.
The softer ones I think was the ladies all the time.
What about that? How did you find out?
Well, they are cute, a fat guy,
could you could have mistaken him,
soft and cute.
Who is the person who discovered the female?
Bernie.
Who was Bernie?
Bernie, one of the first leaders of our group.
-Well, he... -How did he come to find?
One morning
he got up smiling. So he said:
I think there is ladys here.
I said, well, what do you mean, you know?
He said: 'cause in the night.
I was swelled and delighted, see?
So he went into such a story that
it's hundreds of years later, I still blush.
Could you give us the secret of your longevity?
Well, the major thing.
The major thing.
Is that I never, ever touch ripe food.
I don't eat it.
I wouldn't look at it and I don't touch it.
And and I never run for a bus.
There's always another.
Even if even if you're late for work.
You know, I never run for a bus.
I never ran.
I just stroll, jump it, slowly walk to the next bus...
Yeah, well but there were no buses at the time.
What was the means of transportation then?
-Mostly fear.
-Fear transported you? -Fear yes.
You could see.
A lion, he would would growl, you would go two miles a minute.
I'd like to find out about some social customs
the origination of social customs.
For instance, singing how that started?
Oh it stems from fear.
-Could you explain? -Because in the old days,
I said old days.
I don't mean the georgian cars.
-Did you.. -I mean rocks and caves...
I'm asking you, sir, how song...
Some song came about when you really had to communicate.
-But in trouble you couldn't say help. -Yes.
But have to use your mouth.
Yes, I know.
Hello.
-I mean, I wouldn't say help, I say good morning.
Yes. You're really...
you know you in trouble.
We thought happiness did.
Oh, and the song came out of it.
A lion is eating my foot off.
Somebody call a cop.
A lion is eating my foot off.
Somebody call a cop.
A lion is eating my foot off.
Somebody call a cop.
A lion is eating my foot of
Somebody call a cop.
Very interesting to hear the derivation of songs
The first songs,
the first songs were all the anthem songs.
We always thought...
We always thought...
Wanna hear an anthem song?
You had an anthem song?
We had a national anthem.
-What was the anthem? -Well, ah...
you see, was only fragment...
-Fragment? -It wasn't a nation.
-Yes. -It was cave, each cave. Yes.
Each cave had a national anthem.
You remember the national anthem of your cave?
Ok. I say I'll never forget it.
You don't forget a national anthem in a minute.
Let them go to the hell
except cave 76.
For instance, how did the custom of two people shaking hands
how the handshake come to be?
The handshake? As you know...
I don't, that's why I'm asking!
The handshake has also stemmed from fear.
-Even love? -Mainly love.
How can love stem from fear?
How can love stem from fear?
What do you need a woman for?
You know what you need for?
-In my time? -Yes.
To see if an animal is behind yourself,
you had to get eyes in the back of your head.
you take two eyes that is to be a lady.
I see.
You say, lady, you look behind me for a while.
And that was the first... the first marriages.
What if you take a look behind me ok?
How long you want?Forever, we are married.
You walked back to back to the rest of your life?
Yes. You only look at her once in a while,
when you knew you it was safe?
When I knew I was in a highground.
-The handshakes they started how?
-They started to see if the fellow had a rock
or a dagger in his hand.
Where is you hand? Hi, Charlie.
How you're doing Jumpy, where is you hand?
Then you open it and you look...
And you shook another one.
And that's the way the handshakes started.
Yes, the shake.
May have a stone or a marble to stick in your eye.
In the older days
you should get a snap and all.
How the dancing started?
-Dancing is the same thing. -Fear again?
Just fear. The only thing you could do with a hand
was to see if there was a rock or a marble
or rubber band or nail or something that would stick in your head.
Right. Ok.
But while imobilizing my hand
dancing gets to complete the imobilization.
Dance and keep the feet busy so he can't get you.
Yes, but I think most people are interested
in living a long and fruitful life.
-You mentioned? -Fruit is good food, you mentioned.
Fruit kept me going for 140 years once
when I... was on a very strict diet,
mainly nectarines, I love that fruit
half a peach, half a plum, such a hell of a fruit.
It's not too cold
Not too hot, you know, just nice.
-What if... -A rotten one?
That's how much I love. I'd rather eat a rotten nectarine than a fine plum.
-What do you think about? -I can understand that.
Yes, that's how much I love them.
-Yes, I can understand, sir. -Some good things.
What did you do for a living?
Well, many years ago, thousands.
There was no heavy industry.
We know that.
Most things that we manufactured or we made,
most things we ever made,
was we would make a take a piece of wood
and rub it, rub it and rub it and rub it
then clean it and look at it and hit right with it
and hit a tree with it.
-For what purpose? -Just to keep busy.
There was not. There was absolutely nothing to do, had no job.
What other jobs were there?
Must've been something else besides hitting a tree with
the knowledge, hitting a tree with a
piece of stick was already a good job.
You couldn't get that job.
Mainly was sitting and looking in the sky
was a big job
and another job was watching each other.
-And what language did you speak? -They spoke...
-Rock, basic rock. -Years before Hebrew.
Yes. 200 years before Hebrew was the rock language, the rock talk.
Could you give us an example of that?
Hey, you don't put that rock on me.
Hey, what you do with the rock?
Do you remember you remember your Hebrew sir?
Yes, I would just I think I remember fluent...
Because I understand the modern Hebrew is different from the...
Can we hear an example of the ancient Hebrew?
A very ancient Hebrew is...
Oh, hi there, hello.
Hello there. How are you.
-Hi. How are you. -That's English.
-Oh wait, wait. -You remember any Hebrew?
Very little.
I don't think I remember.
I must have forgot a great deal of it.
-I think you forgot it all. -Maybe all, yes.
Maybe all. Thousands of years since I needed it.
Now, sir, did you ever...
Did you ever have any formal job as we know it today?
Yeah, well, I was a manufacturer. I was owner.
What kind of a factory did you have?
I had a I used to make the star of David, Jew stars.
Making a little money?
Where's that? Yeah.
Soon as religion came in, I was one of the first in that.
I figured this was a good thing.
How did you make them? Did you have tools?
Well, we didn't have a lady.
I employed six men each with a point.
They used to run together in the middle of the factory
A great speed, it was huge.
They were making a star.
Yes. We would make two a day because of the many accidents.
Six men running and... you know.
Lots of accidents.
You never thought of going into anything else?
Oh, no, I had an offer once.
-It came to me. Simon. -What Simon asked you to do?
Said he had a new thing, a new item,
a winner, looks like a winning item.
That was gonna be a big seller is called a cross.
And I looked at it and I turned it over
and looked in all sides of it
and I said, it's simple. It's too simple.
I didn't know then. Element.
-I didn't know with such a -You turned him down?
and I said, I'm sorry, but I'm too busy.
See, I could have I could have fired four men,
two men run together, bang, that is a cross.
Would say that I would I would have earned
over a hundred dollars doing that crosses and everything.
Yes, certainly.
Do you have a few moments, sir?
What do you mean? Money or the time.
No, we have to cut way for messages now.
-Okay, let's do it. Is it in English? -Yes.
By the way, sir, are you married?
I have been married several hundred times.
-Several hundred times? -Yes.
You haven't, man. Do you remember all your wives?
-One I remember well. -Which one was that?
The five one, Shyla.
I remeber her well.
I'm afraid to ask the next question, you had many hundreds of wives...
-Hundreds and hundreds. -But how many children you have?
I have over forty two thousand children.
And not one comes to visit me.
It's awful, sir
well, sir, it's really you mean to say there isn't one daughter...
there's many daughters, but, but they
you know how they are, children.
Good luck to them, let them go.
I don't want listen, let them be happy as long they're happy
I don't care. But they could send a note
write how're you Pop how you're doing Pop
you know, they don't.
Sir... ahn, you must have known
some great men in your time, you did travel to...
I knew the greater and the near greater.
Can I ask you about some of these...
Certainly, I'll tell you the true
the true whether I knew or not.
For instance, people are people are
very interested in somebody like Joan of Arc.
A lot has been written about her, we read a lot...
Aah what a kiss.
You knew Joan of Arc?
I went for her, damn it, I went for her.
Nowhere in history do we know of Joan going with it anybody.
Well, they don't print everything.
You did marry her? No.
No. I didn't marry her because she was on a mission.
she used to say to me
she used to say to me, I've got to save France.
I should say I look.
I've got to wash up. You save France.
See you later after you save France. I'll wash up, you know.
-How did you... -Hold it, I... yet.
How did you feel about her being burned at the stake?
Terrible.
I didn't I didn't know.
Sir, how about some of the legendary characters
who supposedly might have existed?
For instance, Robin Hood.
-Did he...? -Oh, yeah. Lovely man.
Ran around in the forest.
Did he really steal from the rich and give to the poor?
No, he didn't.
He stole from everybody and kept everything.
Out of the legend?
Out of the legend let's bring up that
he had a fellow monk, hired a press agent
running all the paper and roll and scroll.
He takes from the rich and gives to the poor, who knew?
You knew you took such a knock in the head
when he robbed you wouldn't knock him down.
-In other words... -A tough guy.
I hate to have our legendary figures smashed
Well, I hate do smashing for you.
So much to discuss, for instance,
-somebody like William Shakespeare -Oh what a pussycat.
-You are saying that you knew -A pussycat.
You did know it, for instance
Oh, that little beard, that cute hair...
He was reputed,
I guess you are agreeing that he was the greatest writer of all times.
Oh no, hey, hold up he was small.
What you mean? You just said he was great.
-Oh boy!
-And I said he was great... -No sir.
A cute man and a pussycat.
William Shakespeare was not a great writer?
Not good writer at all.
He wrote 37 of the greatest.
Shakespeare was not a good writer, no.
He wrote 37 of the greatest.
Would you ever see the original the first folios?
You mean they were edited by someone else?
Never mind the edit, did you see the folios?
No, I never saw them. Did you see?
I saw that folios, your wanna see how they are?
A blast...
A 'm' you know that look like a 'D'
an 'M' didn't look like an 'M'
I know that is a 'V'
Every letter was cockeyed and crazy.
Don't tell me he was a good writer.
The worst printmanship I ever saw in my life.
What he did? He did as it was reputed,
he did write 37 of the greatest plays of...
-38! -I only know 37.
Would you care to look at this list sir?
These items are listed come down to the ages.
-You know one that should be there? -Yes.
What's that?
Queen Alexandra and Morris.
Is there any copy of this unexistent?
This is a play that I put invested money in.
Probably the only one that didn't come to light.
Come to light and closed in Egypt.
Sir, you remember...
you remember any of the dialogue of Queen Alexandra and Morris?
Queen Alexandra turn to Morris and said:
Oh, Morris. What could it have been that I have seen?
Is it not in my marrow or we not have one on ourselves?
And he would say to her:
What are you hollering?
What are you hollering?
-Sir, what... -Wake up the whole castle, you know.
Sir, what did you do 2000 years ago to entertain...
-Walk and wing. -I want to know wether...
-Were there comedians -Oh sure sure, we had.
You remember any of the... 2,000 years ago...
A matter of days, let me see.
I remember one comedian gave us some laughs
while we were hysterical.
Well, who is he? Some good laughs.
Murray the Nut. He gave us a laugh.
A tiger came in the cave one afternoon.
Soothed in uninvited naturally.
Nobody asked how a tiger did walk in.
Tiger came in and Murray, you know, the joker
the tumbling, you know, the Nut
jumps at and grabs the tiger by the tail
yahaa, yahaa, yahaa...
and the tiger turn around and ate him in a minute.
and we get histerical laughing and laughing.
Best joke we ever had.
Oh sir, that's not very funny.
That was all we have, our chaos then that was all we have.
Terrible, I would consider that...
Have to pass me out, Murray took the tiger.
-That was entertainment? -Yes.
I would consider that in the realm of tragedy rather than comedy.
It's a point of view, to me tragedy is... is
if I cut my finger, that's tragedy.
It clinch and I cry and I run around
and I go into Mount Sinai for a day and a half.
I'm very nervous about.
And to me comedy is if you walk into an open sewer
and die, I like that.
Comedy I say.
-My finger is important. -Yes
In the 2000 years you've lived, you've seen a lot of items.
Certainly.
What is the biggest change you've seen?
In two thousand years the greatest thing mankind ever devised
I think in my humble opinion is saran wrap.
You can put a sandwich in it.
You can look through it. You can touch
you can put over your face and fool around and everything.
It's so cool you could wrap up
-You would ate it? -I love it,
put three olives in it and put a little one.
can put ten sandwiches and make up this.
-Whatever you want, It's clean and it sticks with.
-You equate this with... -You can look right through.
You equate this with man's discovery of space?
That was good, that was good.
-Sir, we ah... -Yes, yes.
We have to take time out for message now.
Why do you have to take time out?
You take the message, I'll keep talking.
That was a good message.
Well, sir, if we don't have too much more time
but we all here would like to know your code.
Well, alright, is this it?
A farewell? -A farewell address.
Hello there. This is 2000 years talking to you
from the depths of back there when we was
now I'm still and they not and I just want to say
keep your smile on your face.
And stay out of a Ferrari
or any small Italian car.
stay out of them. I wanna tell you that it's been
it's been a wonderful two thousand years
and you've been a wonderful civilization
and it's been a thrill living for 2,000 years
and eat a nectarine, is the best food ever made.
submitted by cappy1223 to Jokes [link] [comments]
About four days ago a plane landed at Idlewild Airport.
The plane came from the Middle East bearing a man who claims to be
2000 years old.
He spent the last six days at the Mayo Clinic.
Ei, sir.
Sir, is it true that you are 2000 years old?
Oh boy.
-Yes. -You are?
It's hard to believe sir because
in the history of man nobody has ever lived more than 167 years
wich a man from Peru claimed to be.
But you claim to be 2000?
I'll be, not yet. I'll be 2000, October 16th.
You will be 2000. When were you born?
We didn't have formal years and names and writing.
We didn't know. I see.
Nobody kept time.
See, we didn't know.
We didn't write. We just sat around, pointed in the sky
and said wow hot there wow.
-That's all they said? -We didn't even know it was the sun.
You really didn't know anything.
Anything, we were so dumb.
We didn't know who was a lady.
-But they were... -They were with us.
But we didn't know who they was
we didn't know who was the ladies and who was fellows.
You thought they were just different type of fellows.
Yes, stronger or smaller or softer.
The softer ones I think was the ladies all the time.
What about that? How did you find out?
Well, they are cute, a fat guy,
could you could have mistaken him,
soft and cute.
Who is the person who discovered the female?
Bernie.
Who was Bernie?
Bernie, one of the first leaders of our group.
- And he discovered the female?
- Yeah.
- How did that happen?
- Ladies, ladies here.
-Well, he... -How did he come to find?
One morning
he got up smiling. So he said:
I think there is ladys here.
I said, well, what do you mean, you know?
He said: 'cause in the night.
I was swelled and delighted, see?
So he went into such a story that
it's hundreds of years later, I still blush.
Could you give us the secret of your longevity?
Well, the major thing.
The major thing.
Is that I never, ever touch ripe food.
I don't eat it.
I wouldn't look at it and I don't touch it.
And and I never run for a bus.
There's always another.
Even if even if you're late for work.
You know, I never run for a bus.
I never ran.
I just stroll, jump it, slowly walk to the next bus...
Yeah, well but there were no buses at the time.
- No, in my... -Right.
What was the means of transportation then?
-Mostly fear.
-Fear transported you? -Fear yes.
You could see.
A lion, he would would growl, you would go two miles a minute.
I'd like to find out about some social customs
the origination of social customs.
For instance, singing how that started?
Oh it stems from fear.
-Could you explain? -Because in the old days,
I said old days.
I don't mean the georgian cars.
-Did you.. -I mean rocks and caves...
I'm asking you, sir, how song...
Some song came about when you really had to communicate.
-But in trouble you couldn't say help. -Yes.
But have to use your mouth.
Yes, I know.
Hello.
-I mean, I wouldn't say help, I say good morning.
Yes. You're really...
you know you in trouble.
- But somebody said eeeh eeeeh. -That was the first song.
- I don't know.
- In other words, fear, right?
We thought happiness did.
Oh, and the song came out of it.
A lion is eating my foot off.
Somebody call a cop.
A lion is eating my foot off.
Somebody call a cop.
A lion is eating my foot off.
Somebody call a cop.
A lion is eating my foot of
Somebody call a cop.
Very interesting to hear the derivation of songs
The first songs,
the first songs were all the anthem songs.
We always thought...
We always thought...
Wanna hear an anthem song?
You had an anthem song?
We had a national anthem.
-What was the anthem? -Well, ah...
you see, was only fragment...
-Fragment? -It wasn't a nation.
-Yes. -It was cave, each cave. Yes.
Each cave had a national anthem.
You remember the national anthem of your cave?
Ok. I say I'll never forget it.
You don't forget a national anthem in a minute.
Let them go to the hell
except cave 76.
For instance, how did the custom of two people shaking hands
how the handshake come to be?
The handshake? As you know...
I don't, that's why I'm asking!
The handshake has also stemmed from fear.
- Everything seems to stem from fear.
- Of course.
-Even love? -Mainly love.
How can love stem from fear?
How can love stem from fear?
What do you need a woman for?
You know what you need for?
-In my time? -Yes.
To see if an animal is behind yourself,
you had to get eyes in the back of your head.
you take two eyes that is to be a lady.
I see.
You say, lady, you look behind me for a while.
And that was the first... the first marriages.
What if you take a look behind me ok?
How long you want?Forever, we are married.
You walked back to back to the rest of your life?
Yes. You only look at her once in a while,
when you knew you it was safe?
When I knew I was in a highground.
-The handshakes they started how?
-They started to see if the fellow had a rock
or a dagger in his hand.
Where is you hand? Hi, Charlie.
How you're doing Jumpy, where is you hand?
Then you open it and you look...
And you shook another one.
And that's the way the handshakes started.
Yes, the shake.
May have a stone or a marble to stick in your eye.
In the older days
you should get a snap and all.
How the dancing started?
-Dancing is the same thing. -Fear again?
Just fear. The only thing you could do with a hand
was to see if there was a rock or a marble
or rubber band or nail or something that would stick in your head.
Right. Ok.
But while imobilizing my hand
dancing gets to complete the imobilization.
Dance and keep the feet busy so he can't get you.
Yes, but I think most people are interested
in living a long and fruitful life.
-You mentioned? -Fruit is good food, you mentioned.
Fruit kept me going for 140 years once
when I... was on a very strict diet,
mainly nectarines, I love that fruit
half a peach, half a plum, such a hell of a fruit.
It's not too cold
Not too hot, you know, just nice.
-What if... -A rotten one?
That's how much I love. I'd rather eat a rotten nectarine than a fine plum.
-What do you think about? -I can understand that.
Yes, that's how much I love them.
-Yes, I can understand, sir. -Some good things.
What did you do for a living?
Well, many years ago, thousands.
There was no heavy industry.
We know that.
Most things that we manufactured or we made,
most things we ever made,
was we would make a take a piece of wood
and rub it, rub it and rub it and rub it
then clean it and look at it and hit right with it
and hit a tree with it.
-For what purpose? -Just to keep busy.
There was not. There was absolutely nothing to do, had no job.
What other jobs were there?
Must've been something else besides hitting a tree with
the knowledge, hitting a tree with a
piece of stick was already a good job.
You couldn't get that job.
Mainly was sitting and looking in the sky
was a big job
and another job was watching each other.
-And what language did you speak? -They spoke...
-Rock, basic rock. -Years before Hebrew.
Yes. 200 years before Hebrew was the rock language, the rock talk.
Could you give us an example of that?
Hey, you don't put that rock on me.
Hey, what you do with the rock?
Do you remember you remember your Hebrew sir?
Yes, I would just I think I remember fluent...
Because I understand the modern Hebrew is different from the...
- Yes. The difference in some of the
Can we hear an example of the ancient Hebrew?
A very ancient Hebrew is...
Oh, hi there, hello.
Hello there. How are you.
-Hi. How are you. -That's English.
-Oh wait, wait. -You remember any Hebrew?
Very little.
I don't think I remember.
I must have forgot a great deal of it.
-I think you forgot it all. -Maybe all, yes.
Maybe all. Thousands of years since I needed it.
Now, sir, did you ever...
Did you ever have any formal job as we know it today?
Yeah, well, I was a manufacturer. I was owner.
What kind of a factory did you have?
I had a I used to make the star of David, Jew stars.
Making a little money?
Where's that? Yeah.
Soon as religion came in, I was one of the first in that.
I figured this was a good thing.
How did you make them? Did you have tools?
Well, we didn't have a lady.
I employed six men each with a point.
They used to run together in the middle of the factory
A great speed, it was huge.
They were making a star.
Yes. We would make two a day because of the many accidents.
Six men running and... you know.
Lots of accidents.
You never thought of going into anything else?
Oh, no, I had an offer once.
-It came to me. Simon. -What Simon asked you to do?
Said he had a new thing, a new item,
a winner, looks like a winning item.
That was gonna be a big seller is called a cross.
And I looked at it and I turned it over
and looked in all sides of it
and I said, it's simple. It's too simple.
I didn't know then. Element.
-I didn't know with such a -You turned him down?
and I said, I'm sorry, but I'm too busy.
See, I could have I could have fired four men,
two men run together, bang, that is a cross.
Would say that I would I would have earned
over a hundred dollars doing that crosses and everything.
Yes, certainly.
Do you have a few moments, sir?
What do you mean? Money or the time.
No, we have to cut way for messages now.
-Okay, let's do it. Is it in English? -Yes.
By the way, sir, are you married?
I have been married several hundred times.
-Several hundred times? -Yes.
You haven't, man. Do you remember all your wives?
-One I remember well. -Which one was that?
The five one, Shyla.
I remeber her well.
I'm afraid to ask the next question, you had many hundreds of wives...
-Hundreds and hundreds. -But how many children you have?
I have over forty two thousand children.
And not one comes to visit me.
It's awful, sir
well, sir, it's really you mean to say there isn't one daughter...
there's many daughters, but, but they
you know how they are, children.
Good luck to them, let them go.
I don't want listen, let them be happy as long they're happy
I don't care. But they could send a note
write how're you Pop how you're doing Pop
you know, they don't.
Sir... ahn, you must have known
some great men in your time, you did travel to...
I knew the greater and the near greater.
Can I ask you about some of these...
Certainly, I'll tell you the true
the true whether I knew or not.
For instance, people are people are
very interested in somebody like Joan of Arc.
A lot has been written about her, we read a lot...
Aah what a kiss.
You knew Joan of Arc?
I went for her, damn it, I went for her.
Nowhere in history do we know of Joan going with it anybody.
Well, they don't print everything.
You did marry her? No.
No. I didn't marry her because she was on a mission.
she used to say to me
she used to say to me, I've got to save France.
I should say I look.
I've got to wash up. You save France.
See you later after you save France. I'll wash up, you know.
-How did you... -Hold it, I... yet.
How did you feel about her being burned at the stake?
Terrible.
I didn't I didn't know.
Sir, how about some of the legendary characters
who supposedly might have existed?
For instance, Robin Hood.
-Did he...? -Oh, yeah. Lovely man.
Ran around in the forest.
Did he really steal from the rich and give to the poor?
No, he didn't.
He stole from everybody and kept everything.
Out of the legend?
Out of the legend let's bring up that
he had a fellow monk, hired a press agent
running all the paper and roll and scroll.
He takes from the rich and gives to the poor, who knew?
You knew you took such a knock in the head
when he robbed you wouldn't knock him down.
-In other words... -A tough guy.
I hate to have our legendary figures smashed
Well, I hate do smashing for you.
So much to discuss, for instance,
-somebody like William Shakespeare -Oh what a pussycat.
-You are saying that you knew -A pussycat.
You did know it, for instance
Oh, that little beard, that cute hair...
He was reputed,
I guess you are agreeing that he was the greatest writer of all times.
Oh no, hey, hold up he was small.
What you mean? You just said he was great.
-Oh boy!
-And I said he was great... -No sir.
A cute man and a pussycat.
William Shakespeare was not a great writer?
Not good writer at all.
He wrote 37 of the greatest.
Shakespeare was not a good writer, no.
He wrote 37 of the greatest.
Would you ever see the original the first folios?
You mean they were edited by someone else?
Never mind the edit, did you see the folios?
No, I never saw them. Did you see?
I saw that folios, your wanna see how they are?
A blast...
A 'm' you know that look like a 'D'
an 'M' didn't look like an 'M'
I know that is a 'V'
Every letter was cockeyed and crazy.
Don't tell me he was a good writer.
The worst printmanship I ever saw in my life.
What he did? He did as it was reputed,
he did write 37 of the greatest plays of...
-38! -I only know 37.
Would you care to look at this list sir?
These items are listed come down to the ages.
-You know one that should be there? -Yes.
What's that?
Queen Alexandra and Morris.
Is there any copy of this unexistent?
This is a play that I put invested money in.
Probably the only one that didn't come to light.
Come to light and closed in Egypt.
Sir, you remember...
you remember any of the dialogue of Queen Alexandra and Morris?
Queen Alexandra turn to Morris and said:
Oh, Morris. What could it have been that I have seen?
Is it not in my marrow or we not have one on ourselves?
And he would say to her:
What are you hollering?
What are you hollering?
-Sir, what... -Wake up the whole castle, you know.
Sir, what did you do 2000 years ago to entertain...
-Walk and wing. -I want to know wether...
-Were there comedians -Oh sure sure, we had.
You remember any of the... 2,000 years ago...
A matter of days, let me see.
I remember one comedian gave us some laughs
while we were hysterical.
Well, who is he? Some good laughs.
Murray the Nut. He gave us a laugh.
A tiger came in the cave one afternoon.
Soothed in uninvited naturally.
Nobody asked how a tiger did walk in.
Tiger came in and Murray, you know, the joker
the tumbling, you know, the Nut
jumps at and grabs the tiger by the tail
yahaa, yahaa, yahaa...
and the tiger turn around and ate him in a minute.
and we get histerical laughing and laughing.
Best joke we ever had.
Oh sir, that's not very funny.
That was all we have, our chaos then that was all we have.
Terrible, I would consider that...
Have to pass me out, Murray took the tiger.
-That was entertainment? -Yes.
I would consider that in the realm of tragedy rather than comedy.
It's a point of view, to me tragedy is... is
if I cut my finger, that's tragedy.
It clinch and I cry and I run around
and I go into Mount Sinai for a day and a half.
I'm very nervous about.
And to me comedy is if you walk into an open sewer
and die, I like that.
Comedy I say.
-My finger is important. -Yes
In the 2000 years you've lived, you've seen a lot of items.
Certainly.
What is the biggest change you've seen?
In two thousand years the greatest thing mankind ever devised
I think in my humble opinion is saran wrap.
You can put a sandwich in it.
You can look through it. You can touch
you can put over your face and fool around and everything.
It's so cool you could wrap up
-You would ate it? -I love it,
put three olives in it and put a little one.
can put ten sandwiches and make up this.
-Whatever you want, It's clean and it sticks with.
-You equate this with... -You can look right through.
You equate this with man's discovery of space?
That was good, that was good.
-Sir, we ah... -Yes, yes.
We have to take time out for message now.
Why do you have to take time out?
You take the message, I'll keep talking.
That was a good message.
Well, sir, if we don't have too much more time
but we all here would like to know your code.
Well, alright, is this it?
A farewell? -A farewell address.
Hello there. This is 2000 years talking to you
from the depths of back there when we was
now I'm still and they not and I just want to say
keep your smile on your face.
And stay out of a Ferrari
or any small Italian car.
stay out of them. I wanna tell you that it's been
it's been a wonderful two thousand years
and you've been a wonderful civilization
and it's been a thrill living for 2,000 years
and eat a nectarine, is the best food ever made.
2024.05.19 16:45 Throw_away67493 Has anyone else from a conservative family/area experienced this? Could apply to others as well.
I grew up in a very conservative family and in a conservative area, and I started wishing I was a girl around the age of 13 (I’m still unsure if I’m trans currently). In recent years, because of school and certain friends, I’ve ended up around much more progressive and lgbt-supportive people, and I’ve noticed that whenever I’m able to interact with women in these spaces I feel hopeful about my prospects of one day transitioning and being seen as a girl. However, a lot of the times when I interact with more left leaning men, including friends, I don’t have this feeling, and instead feel content with being a man, even feeling like I could live my life as one. The feeling always starts to fade pretty quickly, and soon enough I feel sad over not being a woman all over again. It’s sort of an endless cycle.
This doesn’t always happen, and overall the effect of feeling more hopeful about transitioning occurs much more when I’m in left leaning spaces. But it always makes me question hard when it does happen, and leads me to think that I’m just using the idea of transitioning as an escape from the conservatism I grew up around (not entirely sure why this would be the case but it’s how I feel). If anyone has experience with this I want to know what came of it.
submitted by Throw_away67493 to asktransgender [link] [comments]
This doesn’t always happen, and overall the effect of feeling more hopeful about transitioning occurs much more when I’m in left leaning spaces. But it always makes me question hard when it does happen, and leads me to think that I’m just using the idea of transitioning as an escape from the conservatism I grew up around (not entirely sure why this would be the case but it’s how I feel). If anyone has experience with this I want to know what came of it.
2024.05.19 16:45 happyhippo_1 Great colleagues and work environment, but awful job, I don't know if I should quit
Just for context, I live in Europe, in a country where the job market is pretty much a shitshow of low pay, bad employment contracts and abusive practices.
So, I got this new job six months ago, which sounded great on paper, but now after six months in, I hate it. It was supposed to be about financial services support with close connection to the customer, but it's much more about debt collection. It's so boring, plenty of timeconsuming tasks with very little results, if any. Plenty of transactional stuff that are a waste of time, everything takes forever as it's a huge company with so many teams for every single thing that take ages to reply or do anything.
Anyway, I hate the nature of my work. However, the benefits are quite good for the average in the market, my colleagues are amazing, my boss is super cool too, everyone si treating me very nice, so I'm terrified to quit. I also had a performance review recently, and I was given such kindness and positive feedback that now I feel not only scared but also guilty to leave. I tried to express my concerns (in a more mild way of course) but so far it is what it is, the role is supposed to change in time, but only god knows how and when. I have looked into job postings just to test the market, and most of the jobs I see daily suck, huge red flags and low salaries. I'm terrified that if I quit I may end up in a much worse situation and I might not even like the job either. I also don't want to disappoint the people in my company who have been nothing but great to me. I am also aware that work is just work, you don't necessarily have to love it as long as it pays the bills, but we also spend so much of our day at work, and I have a hard time coping with hating it so much. It completely drains me.
So, I'm confused, overwhelmed and I don't know what to do, every option seems like a potential big mistake. Any advice is welcome and much appreciated. Many thanks!!
submitted by happyhippo_1 to jobs [link] [comments]
So, I got this new job six months ago, which sounded great on paper, but now after six months in, I hate it. It was supposed to be about financial services support with close connection to the customer, but it's much more about debt collection. It's so boring, plenty of timeconsuming tasks with very little results, if any. Plenty of transactional stuff that are a waste of time, everything takes forever as it's a huge company with so many teams for every single thing that take ages to reply or do anything.
Anyway, I hate the nature of my work. However, the benefits are quite good for the average in the market, my colleagues are amazing, my boss is super cool too, everyone si treating me very nice, so I'm terrified to quit. I also had a performance review recently, and I was given such kindness and positive feedback that now I feel not only scared but also guilty to leave. I tried to express my concerns (in a more mild way of course) but so far it is what it is, the role is supposed to change in time, but only god knows how and when. I have looked into job postings just to test the market, and most of the jobs I see daily suck, huge red flags and low salaries. I'm terrified that if I quit I may end up in a much worse situation and I might not even like the job either. I also don't want to disappoint the people in my company who have been nothing but great to me. I am also aware that work is just work, you don't necessarily have to love it as long as it pays the bills, but we also spend so much of our day at work, and I have a hard time coping with hating it so much. It completely drains me.
So, I'm confused, overwhelmed and I don't know what to do, every option seems like a potential big mistake. Any advice is welcome and much appreciated. Many thanks!!
2024.05.19 16:44 TemptuousPearl Thank you for loving me
My darling dear,
I love the way you handle me. It’s as if you had formal training on how to navigate me and my responses. Your support for me and all I do is unwavering. I’ve never known support from a partner like this. The genuine kind where nothing is amiss.
I love the way you tell me you love me. The many ways it is said is as if you know every language. I tell you you’re a wonder all the time. Always surprising me. Never dull or disappointing.
I’m so sorry I get scared still. I can’t wait to see you, I know that will help. It’s been so long since I looked into your eyes. I’m so in love with you, it’s as if I’m gazing into the heavens. I get lost in you and just can’t help it.
I love the way you protect yourself. You take a moment of silence while I traverse through my feelings on auto pilot. Your self control is admirable. Others would’ve been awful whether I deserved it or not.
You deserve so much kindness with love that’s true. I promise with my whole heart that I will give that to you.
submitted by TemptuousPearl to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]
I love the way you handle me. It’s as if you had formal training on how to navigate me and my responses. Your support for me and all I do is unwavering. I’ve never known support from a partner like this. The genuine kind where nothing is amiss.
I love the way you tell me you love me. The many ways it is said is as if you know every language. I tell you you’re a wonder all the time. Always surprising me. Never dull or disappointing.
I’m so sorry I get scared still. I can’t wait to see you, I know that will help. It’s been so long since I looked into your eyes. I’m so in love with you, it’s as if I’m gazing into the heavens. I get lost in you and just can’t help it.
I love the way you protect yourself. You take a moment of silence while I traverse through my feelings on auto pilot. Your self control is admirable. Others would’ve been awful whether I deserved it or not.
You deserve so much kindness with love that’s true. I promise with my whole heart that I will give that to you.
2024.05.19 16:44 HauntedCLT Your next binge
I just watched Maxton Hall on Amazon Video and it’s a good follow up binge series to One Day. Though you can’t compare apples and oranges, and it’s not necessarily a romantic TRAGEDY, per se, it is a cheeky love story that has the palpable tension that you might be seeking after One Day.
That being said, watching this new show got me thinking, that although it’s decent, I think the feels would have been heightened and enhanced if it had the same musical score as one day. It wasn’t until watching this that I realized how much the film score to one day added to the emotions of the entire series. Yes I knew the music was good (in cold light, falling colour, etc.) but idk why seeing another love story in front of you with contrasting music gave me this perspective and extra affinity for the One Day music and how much it enhanced the story. The power of music!
submitted by HauntedCLT to OneDayNetflix [link] [comments]
That being said, watching this new show got me thinking, that although it’s decent, I think the feels would have been heightened and enhanced if it had the same musical score as one day. It wasn’t until watching this that I realized how much the film score to one day added to the emotions of the entire series. Yes I knew the music was good (in cold light, falling colour, etc.) but idk why seeing another love story in front of you with contrasting music gave me this perspective and extra affinity for the One Day music and how much it enhanced the story. The power of music!
2024.05.19 16:44 PersonalizedGameRecs [/r/boardgames PGR] How different does each **Caverna** play feels? I love Agricola and looking to get Caverna now, but I read that there is no much replay value since you can do exactly the same each playthrough. Is it true?
submitted by PersonalizedGameRecs to PersonalizedGameRecs [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 16:44 Far_Requirement_4958 Lost completely
So. It's my birthday today. I have never had the feeling so strong when I have woke up. I don't know what caused the switch from when I went to sleep last night(which I was in a pretty good mood). I woke up today. And feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. I feel like someone extremely close to me died. Or something even worse. It is so strong in me that I am struggling to just have a calm thought and can not sit still and every fiber in my body that makes who I am just wants to run as far away from people , which is extremely screwing with me because family and friends are sending there birthday wish and trying to talk to me. And I'm trying to be cool and not let anyone notice that there is something bad going on. I really don't want to do this anymore. I am tired of having this empty feeling. I've delt with it forever. And have been really trying to work on it. I have a good positive family and a couple really good friends. So why is it getting worse. Why. And the last 6 months have went into a spiral. I'm falling into a deep hole. I make totally drastic decisions out of nowhere when I get like this. Please please. I have no idea how to deal with this. I never have attempted suicide. Although I've always had a lot of mental issues. I just never had the feeling like it was the solution. I don't feel that way now. Right now. In this fucking moment. I would love nothing more then to feel a purpose for my existence. Or just the feeling that someone wants you and only you. I'm 47 and I've never had that feeling in my life . I've had pletty of relationships. But always felt I was there back up plan. Does anyone know how that feels. How fucked uup of a feeling that is. I don't know how to describe it all. I am probably not making much sense so I'm done
submitted by Far_Requirement_4958 to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 16:44 Comfortable_Hornet_2 Trust and Breakups? 23/F 24/M
When did you know it was time to breakup with your partner?
I'm 23F and my bf 24 M have been dating for 4.5 years now. We've been doing long distance for about 10 months while he's in med school and I've been working full time as a nurse.
On the outside we have a really solid rs. My friends and family like him. He's a nice guy, plans dates, communicates effectively, remembers our monthly anniversaries sure.
However, the mistrust occurred 6 months in the relationship, and it hasn't really left since?
Now, that we're doing LDR everything just feels worse?
Last yr before med school he met up with some of his friends and he purposely didn't tell me about girls that were going to be there because he thought I "hated" them. Btw I never said I hated them or anything. I didn't even have any issues with them, it was a different girl I didn't like and if he had just told me I would've been okay with it? But the fact that he lied about seems so sus??
Last yr for my bday I bought plane tix for him to fly out to meet me for my bday. We stayed at a hotel and the room next to us were having intercourse and I suddenly felt very uncomfortable. It was like 2am. I wanted to leave, but it seemed like he wanted to stay. I walked out of the room that night and had the worst birthday ever.
And for Valentine's day this year he got me flowers from target. But because it was LDR he just bought them online and asked me to go pick it up myself.
It's just little things like this over the years seems so blurry. Now I just feel like giving up. I'm more isolated now because I'm working so much I don't get to see my friends often and I've been feeling really depressed and lost ever since. Whenever I bring up a breakup he kind of just shuts me down. I don't know what to do anymore. Leaving feels so isolating because he's been my biggest support system, but staying with him feels ???
I don't know what to do.
submitted by Comfortable_Hornet_2 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I'm 23F and my bf 24 M have been dating for 4.5 years now. We've been doing long distance for about 10 months while he's in med school and I've been working full time as a nurse.
On the outside we have a really solid rs. My friends and family like him. He's a nice guy, plans dates, communicates effectively, remembers our monthly anniversaries sure.
However, the mistrust occurred 6 months in the relationship, and it hasn't really left since?
- P*rn, OF, liking girls online, saving pictures
- He used to check out girls in front of me, but I guess he got better at it??
- Breaking personal boundaries
Now, that we're doing LDR everything just feels worse?
Last yr before med school he met up with some of his friends and he purposely didn't tell me about girls that were going to be there because he thought I "hated" them. Btw I never said I hated them or anything. I didn't even have any issues with them, it was a different girl I didn't like and if he had just told me I would've been okay with it? But the fact that he lied about seems so sus??
Last yr for my bday I bought plane tix for him to fly out to meet me for my bday. We stayed at a hotel and the room next to us were having intercourse and I suddenly felt very uncomfortable. It was like 2am. I wanted to leave, but it seemed like he wanted to stay. I walked out of the room that night and had the worst birthday ever.
And for Valentine's day this year he got me flowers from target. But because it was LDR he just bought them online and asked me to go pick it up myself.
It's just little things like this over the years seems so blurry. Now I just feel like giving up. I'm more isolated now because I'm working so much I don't get to see my friends often and I've been feeling really depressed and lost ever since. Whenever I bring up a breakup he kind of just shuts me down. I don't know what to do anymore. Leaving feels so isolating because he's been my biggest support system, but staying with him feels ???
I don't know what to do.
2024.05.19 16:44 lastdaythrowaway777 Last Day
Hey guys, today is my last day alive. I am sitting alone in my empty apartment that I’ve lived at for 2 and a half years. Everything I’ve ever tried to accomplish has failed. I have insane amounts of debt and owe the IRS a lot of money. I am 27 years old. I’m not going to lie, a lot of what’s happened is my fault. Destroying my credit was my fault, not paying my taxes was my fault, defaulting on rent and being depressed was my fault. I spend most days laying in my walk in closet on the ground in the dark. I feel alone in life and I don’t have a family that understands me so I barely talk to them. They’re narcissistic and weird and try to force religion on me so we just don’t talk. I miss my ex girlfriend also that I moved here with and it’s not like I want to be with her but I regret ever being mean to her. She ended up developing schizophrenia and when I kicked her out of the apartment legally she chose not to go with her parents and just got raped by a bunch of guys back to back and that shit still fucks with my head a lot. She’s like a shell of who she used to be and I just wish I had been more understanding and patient with her. Besides that I feel so financially ruined and far behind that I don’t have the willpower to even try to “catch up”. I went from making $7000 a month to just laying here starving most days and crying. I’ve given all of my things to a friend to hold because he thinks I’m moving in with him (he’s a very nice dude and like family to me) and I gave my cat who I love very much to the girl that brought her to me to watch because she thinks I’m just moving (I’ve been crying about that all night too). She asked me where I’m moving yesterday and said “the cemetery” and laughed and she laughed but she didn’t realize I was serious. Also I don’t believe in seeking “help”. Every time in my life I’ve ever said I was suicidal I got the cops called on me and they would detain and institutionalize me and the doctors would load me up on weird drugs that had all kinds of side effects like invega and seroquel and make me worse and actually feel “crazy” (I’m traumatized from that). It’s hard to even put everything in writing because so much has happened in my life. I feel like I’m 100+ years old with all the experiences I’ve had. I feel bad because I know a lot of people are going to be hurt and not understand but I really can’t take it anymore. I knew life was hard but I didn’t know it was this hard. This isn’t like self hate either, this is like opting out of all the bullshit and not participating anymore. Tbh I look in the mirror and I love who I am and how I look (not to sound arrogant) but it’s just like life in general. I pray whoever is reading this never gets to this point of feeling this alone and broken. I feel trapped and I need to get out. In 2018 I cut myself 100+ times in one day deep to the point of being able to see the bone in my arms and I lost all feeling in my wrists for years. My roommates found me in the kitchen in my own blood after I went on a bender and even back then it was over money and financial stress. I feel extremely misunderstood as a person. I don’t have love in my life. I’ve lost everything. Even my Tesla (don’t hate on me for that it’s a cool car lol). But yeah I just feel like a huge fucking failure and I wish I could’ve played everything different. Like I said, a lot of what’s happened is my fault but I’m just a fucking human dude. I’m not perfect like I tried to make everything work the best way I knew how. Anyway while packing and cleaning my apartment the last thing I found was a razor blade.
submitted by lastdaythrowaway777 to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]