Funny text for boyfriend

Honestly? I know posting this again and again on this sub is what I’ve been doing lately and I’m now kind of loosing hope. But even if someone still seems interested? I’ll post again!
I hope everyone is having a wonderful time.
Pls ignore if you want to ghost.
A little bit about myself- So basically I love movies, loves some good music, I read sometimes, I meditate, does workout, watches cartoons too sometimes(SpongeBob SquarePants & Adventure time are my favorites), Chainsaw man has been my favourite anime, recently finished berserk now reading the manga, kind of a foodie, can cook also & I have a huge collection of memes & yeah I’m a straight man.
I’d really like make some friends here. I’d really love to have some deep,weird,funny conversations no matter what you’d like to talk about even if they’re nsfw. But would really love some real connections & I'm up for long term friendships.
Have been on a rough place mentally, so kind of knows what it feels like to be alone & the irony is that I’m still alone. But would love to have someone to talk to, to be there if someone needs or want to vent out. Still going through a very rough patch. But it’ll be fine. Can say I’ve changed but for good.
My hands made me popular- So I accidentally found about that theres a thing about hands people like? So I started posting from last year as people like my hands. Eventually people also started to catfish people around the internet using my hand pictures. Fixed that! But had to make a Tumblr account. So I mostly post there now. Honestly? From last year till now? I’ve discovered so many new things & yes most of them are nsfw. Currently active on Tumblr as I’m posting more of my hands there.
Kind of bad at conversations at first but once I understand the vibe of the person I’m talking to I try to match the vibe. Im a quick Lerner & a good listener too!
Yes! I’m a biker too!
I do have a doggo too, so I can like send u pictures of him. & yes, I’m a guy!
Also my chats here are messed up so if you want? do add me on discord or Snapchat.
It'll be all upto u that it's SFW or NSFW! But do just point it out. Cause it's important to know before a great start of our conversations also I'm like making NSFW reference jokes all the time & into NSFW big times. Currently practising SR and yeah it’s cool. But if you have a dirty mind? It’s a bonus cause I’m big times into nsfw and I’d love to be able to talk freely about anything.
Superpowers I have? Well I have a photographic memory, sometimes I can continue the dream I left of after waking up to to go pee and come back to sleep, my visualisation game is way too strong like if you tell me a story or an incident, I'm mentally there and could see it. I once did NoFap for 111 days.
Pros of having me as a friend? · I'm there for you whenever you want someone to talk to or vent to. · I barely judge anyone, so I just make sure if someone is comfortable around me. · I'm actually pretty good at giving some good advices. I've saved life's if u want know. · I'll send you memes everyday. Best ones. · I'm dominant person!
Cons of having me? · I send you memes everyday!
& if no one told you today, you’re really amazing/beautiful, you’re doing great! You got this! have a wonderful weekend & you’re not alone!
Let's see how many times I have to post such stuff to find a friend! Sigh
Since reddit is broken, add me on discord! Or telegram & Please wherever you add me or text me kindly give an introduction! And please don’t just send “Hi” or “Hello”. I’m putting much efforts to tell you so much so I’d like at least a little introduction of yours.
P.s. I have a humble request, if you’d ghost me after just having a conversation once, then please don’t text. It hurts when you’ve been ghosted while u had a conversation with a person and you plan to talk about more stuff but you’re ghosted! It’s just stupid.
Also! I'm straight. So freaky guys! Just no please. 🤦🏻‍♂️
Sorry if I didn't respond to your message, my reddit chats are going bonkers lately! Kindly add me on discord.
Sorry for a really long text! Here’s a Doggo u can pat 🐶

Six minute read *** I was also unable to post this to relationship advice***
So I go to college in CO but am from MN which is where my boyfriend and I met in senior year of highschool. Everything was great, I even moved to CO so that I could go to school near him because he was moving there. Once college started insecurities started to show, after being SA'd by a guy at college he demanded that if I am hanging out with people I have to tell him the names of everyone one there. He also to this day says that I technically cheated on him when I was SA'd because I didn't tell him the name of the guy right away. I've been r*ped for three months in a past relationship so it was an honest trauma reaction when I didn't tell him the name and I told him that. The controlling got worse and worse to the point tha I would be anxious to the point of being nauseous if I hung out with even friends that he knew. If I was asked to go to the club I would have to ask permission which would 100% of the time lead him saying no. I should add that after the SA incident we broke up for three months, I expected to never talk to him again and was really happy being single and free but he wiggled his way back into my life leading to us getting back together. This last winter break I was so done with it, I gathered the courage to have a serious talk about his controlling behavior specifically about him saying I can't go to the club, not because I wanted to go party but because of the fact that he thought he could tell me yes or no. In my mind I was ready to end things based on how he reacted to the talk, but he reacted well and so we stayed together and now I am allowed to go to clubs etc. I also must add that when we are in person hanging out everything is fine, we don't fight, we just chill and have fun. We just don't know how to communicate until things start to boil over because it makes both of us very uncomfortable to talk about issues in our relationship in person (I know that is not good and have been working on it) I do feel that things aren't the same as they used to be, there is a feeling of walking on egg shells around him a good amount of the time, things have been better recently. If one little thing happens he will be crabby and just shut down the rest of the day, even losing a game. When my older sister F(23) came to visit a few weeks ago he said that he would take us to the aquarium, we were getting food at the dining hall at my school and so I went out to his car to invite him to sit with us until we are ready to leave. He was in one of his "moods" and was angry, he just said no and that he will wait for us in his car and then hit the gas and loudly sped away when I was three feet away from him car. Later that night we were all drinking and he admitted with a laugh and smile on his face that he acted like that because he was listening to logics new album or something and "just needed to grind" whatever the fuck that means. My sister was driving in his car alone with him for maybe 15 minutes max. and said that even she felt like she was walking on egg shells and that she understood me now because he would get upset at the smallest things. It honestly just embarrassed me that he couldn't try to be nice around my sister, that just shows me that he doesn't care.
So now to get to the actual story, sorry that I rambled, I am currently visiting my family in MN for two weeks, he is still in CO. A week ago I went to visit one of my only friends from highschool for a sleepover, we went down to eat dinner and when we came back upstairs I saw that I had a missed call from him, I then saw this exact text: "Hey J***a! I miss you a lot right now. I know you're having a fun time out in Minnesota with your friends and your family. I love and care about you very much, I know you know that. It's time to move on from each other. This hurts a lot and I'm shaking while typing this. But I need to fly solo for a while and figure some shit out on my end. " My honest reaction was "I think blank just broke up with me?" My friend was so nice and then asked me how I felt, I honestly didn't feel sad, I was mainly just confused because of how random it was, he was acting completely normal up until then. I tried calling him back but it went straight to voicemail sp I texted him this: "I wish we could've had this talk on the phone. I was eating dinner downstairs when you called. I tried calling but you aren't answering so.
I agree, I feel like we haven't been in love like we used to for a long time, and I think moving on is the best thing for both of us." He never replied the rest of the night. The rest of the night I didn't cry or feel sad, I called my girl friends that I'm living with in CO, after them asking me how I felt and stuff we just started making fun plans for our single girl summer. Every single one of my friends does not like my boyfriend including my sister. They have been telling me to break up with him for months but I am honestly too scared and uncomfortable to, plus things are good when we are hanging out in person so I figured to just not worry about it. The next day my ex snapchatted me asking if we could have a phone call later if that is okay with me, I said sure expecting him to just tell me why he wanted to break up. But instead he said that the night before he saw some old screenshots (from the old SA incident) that made him go into a downward spiral. I will say I said some awful stuff behind his back which was the screenshots he was looking at. He then convinced himself that I had cheated on him and that I didn't actually get assaulted and that all of the times that I studied with my guy friends or hungout with them that we were fucking. So he just sent that text and powered off his phone. I will also say that I have never cheated on him. The next day he woke up and regretted it, he admitted that he also felt nauseous and scared which is think means he was just scared to be alone because we've been together for so long and he doesn't have any IRL friends in CO, so he would've basically been alone. So anyways on the phone the day after breaking up with me he told me why he sent the text and then started talking about how he was sad because he wasn't thinking lastnight, that he was only thinking about the bad things but then started thinking about all of the good times we have had and that that was what made him so sad the next morning. He said he truly loved me and wanted to at least say that he tried to get me back. I was again just very confused and shocked at this information, I tend to feel really bad for people even when they don't deserve it and so when he said he would've regretted this for the rest of his life and that he really loved me I caved and agreed to see if we can work things out. That being said I made sure to let him know that what he did was really shitty and not normal, and that it of course hurt me the way he went about it all. I have been telling him that he needs to go back to therapy for a year and he kept saying no, so on the phone I told him that if I'm even going to consider getting back with him he is going to get therapy. I know that may be shitty and I don't like telling people what to do but that is honestly what I think he needs if we even have a chance at getting better as a couple. At this time we are also planning to see eachother when I get back to CO to have an in-person talk about a lot of stuff. I told him that we can "stay together" but that I need time to think and I don't want to be official until I see major amount of change from him. Which historically has never really happened or the changes he made he eventually let slip and went back to his old ways which were toxic.
So now I am here, not sure what to think. I have been trying to really think about what I want and how I feel without thinking about his feelings but it's been really hard. We agreed to reconvene and see if things are better at the end of the summer, allowing him time to work on himself. But I don't know if I want to do that. I feel like things won't change, only because they haven't in the past when he said that they would. I also don't know how to end things if I were to.
If you were me what would you honestly do? It's hard to end such a long relationship.

Six minute read
So I go to college in CO but am from MN which is where my boyfriend and I met in senior year of highschool. Everything was great, I even moved to CO so that I could go to school near him because he was moving there. Once college started insecurities started to show, after being SA'd by a guy at college he demanded that if I am hanging out with people I have to tell him the names of everyone one there. He also to this day says that I technically cheated on him when I was SA'd because I didn't tell him the name of the guy right away. I've been r*ped for three months in a past relationship so it was an honest trauma reaction when I didn't tell him the name and I told him that. The controlling got worse and worse to the point tha I would be anxious to the point of being nauseous if I hung out with even friends that he knew. If I was asked to go to the club I would have to ask permission which would 100% of the time lead him saying no. I should add that after the SA incident we broke up for three months, I expected to never talk to him again and was really happy being single and free but he wiggled his way back into my life leading to us getting back together. This last winter break I was so done with it, I gathered the courage to have a serious talk about his controlling behavior specifically about him saying I can't go to the club, not because I wanted to go party but because of the fact that he thought he could tell me yes or no. In my mind I was ready to end things based on how he reacted to the talk, but he reacted well and so we stayed together and now I am allowed to go to clubs etc. I also must add that when we are in person hanging out everything is fine, we don't fight, we just chill and have fun. We just don't know how to communicate until things start to boil over because it makes both of us very uncomfortable to talk about issues in our relationship in person (I know that is not good and have been working on it) I do feel that things aren't the same as they used to be, there is a feeling of walking on egg shells around him a good amount of the time, things have been better recently. If one little thing happens he will be crabby and just shut down the rest of the day, even losing a game. When my older sister F(23) came to visit a few weeks ago he said that he would take us to the aquarium, we were getting food at the dining hall at my school and so I went out to his car to invite him to sit with us until we are ready to leave. He was in one of his "moods" and was angry, he just said no and that he will wait for us in his car and then hit the gas and loudly sped away when I was three feet away from him car. Later that night we were all drinking and he admitted with a laugh and smile on his face that he acted like that because he was listening to logics new album or something and "just needed to grind" whatever the fuck that means. My sister was driving in his car alone with him for maybe 15 minutes max. and said that even she felt like she was walking on egg shells and that she understood me now because he would get upset at the smallest things. It honestly just embarrassed me that he couldn't try to be nice around my sister, that just shows me that he doesn't care.
So now to get to the actual story, sorry that I rambled, I am currently visiting my family in MN for two weeks, he is still in CO. A week ago I went to visit one of my only friends from highschool for a sleepover, we went down to eat dinner and when we came back upstairs I saw that I had a missed call from him, I then saw this exact text: "Hey J***a! I miss you a lot right now. I know you're having a fun time out in Minnesota with your friends and your family. I love and care about you very much, I know you know that. It's time to move on from each other. This hurts a lot and I'm shaking while typing this. But I need to fly solo for a while and figure some shit out on my end. " My honest reaction was "I think blank just broke up with me?" My friend was so nice and then asked me how I felt, I honestly didn't feel sad, I was mainly just confused because of how random it was, he was acting completely normal up until then. I tried calling him back but it went straight to voicemail sp I texted him this: "I wish we could've had this talk on the phone. I was eating dinner downstairs when you called. I tried calling but you aren't answering so.
I agree, I feel like we haven't been in love like we used to for a long time, and I think moving on is the best thing for both of us." He never replied the rest of the night. The rest of the night I didn't cry or feel sad, I called my girl friends that I'm living with in CO, after them asking me how I felt and stuff we just started making fun plans for our single girl summer. Every single one of my friends does not like my boyfriend including my sister. They have been telling me to break up with him for months but I am honestly too scared and uncomfortable to, plus things are good when we are hanging out in person so I figured to just not worry about it. The next day my ex snapchatted me asking if we could have a phone call later if that is okay with me, I said sure expecting him to just tell me why he wanted to break up. But instead he said that the night before he saw some old screenshots (from the old SA incident) that made him go into a downward spiral. I will say I said some awful stuff behind his back which was the screenshots he was looking at. He then convinced himself that I had cheated on him and that I didn't actually get assaulted and that all of the times that I studied with my guy friends or hungout with them that we were fucking. So he just sent that text and powered off his phone. I will also say that I have never cheated on him. The next day he woke up and regretted it, he admitted that he also felt nauseous and scared which is think means he was just scared to be alone because we've been together for so long and he doesn't have any IRL friends in CO, so he would've basically been alone. So anyways on the phone the day after breaking up with me he told me why he sent the text and then started talking about how he was sad because he wasn't thinking lastnight, that he was only thinking about the bad things but then started thinking about all of the good times we have had and that that was what made him so sad the next morning. He said he truly loved me and wanted to at least say that he tried to get me back. I was again just very confused and shocked at this information, I tend to feel really bad for people even when they don't deserve it and so when he said he would've regretted this for the rest of his life and that he really loved me I caved and agreed to see if we can work things out. That being said I made sure to let him know that what he did was really shitty and not normal, and that it of course hurt me the way he went about it all. I have been telling him that he needs to go back to therapy for a year and he kept saying no, so on the phone I told him that if I'm even going to consider getting back with him he is going to get therapy. I know that may be shitty and I don't like telling people what to do but that is honestly what I think he needs if we even have a chance at getting better as a couple. At this time we are also planning to see eachother when I get back to CO to have an in-person talk about a lot of stuff. I told him that we can "stay together" but that I need time to think and I don't want to be official until I see major amount of change from him. Which historically has never really happened or the changes he made he eventually let slip and went back to his old ways which were toxic.
So now I am here, not sure what to think. I have been trying to really think about what I want and how I feel without thinking about his feelings but it's been really hard. We agreed to reconvene and see if things are better at the end of the summer, allowing him time to work on himself. But I don't know if I want to do that. I feel like things won't change, only because they haven't in the past when he said that they would. I also don't know how to end things if I were to.
If you were me what would you honestly do? It's hard to end such a long relationship.

There is a lot of context needed for this story so it might be long- also I am on mobile so I apologize for grammar.
So me (18f) and my best friend (18m), lets call him Jay, have been friends for close to 5 years now- we have both just graduated school and going to college next year (he’s staying local and I am going out of the country). A little over a year and a half ago my father committed suicide, my mother and I took it rough and Jay was there for me through it all. He was at the funeral and helped me and my mother out when we needed it. I get bad flashbacks from that day, and he is aware of this because he has helped me through many panic attacks because of it.
Now Jay has a lot of his own problems, he has bad attachment issues, especially with partners and he has been known to be unnecessarily clingy. This has caused issues with his past relationships, which in turn cause a breakup and a breakdown from him. He thinks a breakup is the end of the world and he thinks every girl is “the one”. His last relationship was with a girl who was mistreating him, took advantage of him and tried to keep them a secret and only really used him for his money- but of course he was head over heels in love with her. It got so bad to the point the only conversations we were having were about this girl and how he was being mistreated- but if I brought up how toxic it was he would make up an excuse and quickly hang up. His self esteem got so low and this girl did such a number on him- he ended up threatening suicide. I, of course, called his mother and had her help him (this was after my father’s death so I couldn’t do much). He ended up getting better and we moved on.
During his past relationship, there was a german exchange student staying with him- let’s call her Amy. After Jay and his ex broke up Amy was the rebound. But because he cannot have a casual relationship, he ended up falling for Amy. But this time Amy fell for him as well. They ended up having a secret relationship, with no labels because both had just gotten out of a relationship. They had ended it for a few months because of some miscommunication issues, but around a month ago decided to try again. However, Amy has to move back to Germany in 3 weeks. So Jay had the bright idea to move to Germany with her.
Now here comes the issue, Jay just found out that he cannot go to Germany and that Amy wants to end things because she doesn’t want a long distance relationship. He took this as “I am never going to speak to you ever again” and he tried to end his life. Thankfully Amy called him and talked him down (which she had to do with her last boyfriend), and he is safe now. He had sent me a goodbye text during work, and I ended up breaking down and had to get sent home. Amy had let me know the full story, and I just spiraled into panic attacks and flashbacks. I had called him later that night, and instead of being in a hospital- he was partying up with his sister and getting high. I got pissed and yelled at him, and he just sent me a half assed apology text. I tried to get him to go to the hospital for inpatient but he refused. It’s been a day and I don’t know what to do. Any advice/support is appreciated.

Me (30) and my bestfriend Mary (31) have been friends for 8 years, during this friendship, Mary was aware that cheating on a relationship is a big no-no for me (as all decent people should). Even when I find out celebrities, colleagues or even people I don't know break up because of cheating, I get this bitter taste in my mouth. It's all because, all my life, my dad is a serial cheater and even now even after 34 years - he still is. It started when Mary and I worked together on a cruise ship for the first time in our years of working on different contracts - we finally got the same ship and same contract dates. She is already engaged by this time and will be married in a few months, so almost all the preparations are done. And since we are on a cruise ship and far away from our country, Mary and her fiance Mark (36) are on a long distance relationship. I can only imagine planning a wedding apart from your partner. I know it's been hard on her. Over the course of our 6 month contract together, she developed a lot of guy friends within the crew (people who work onboard the ship) since there are more guys who hangout on crew bars at night after our shift. I on the other hand don't drink so I just sleep early since I work 11 hrs a day everyday. Oftentimes, she goes back to our cabin drunk or sometimes with her new friends in the middle of the night, sometimes it will wake me, sometimes not, which being a crew member for a few years living with different kinds of roommates, i am used to it.
But one night, I cannot fall asleep because my partner and I had a fight and I was waiting for him to reply, i heard someone open the door and I heard a man's voice snickering(obviously trying to not make a noise) and Mary's shushing noise followed him. For context we live on a cabin with a bunk bed and I'm top bunk and I have curtains for privacy. Obviously they won't be able to tell if i'm awake or not. I then heard kissing noises and felt movements soon after - they were doing the deed. My gut fell and I wanted to be a mean nosy bitch and go down and ask them what they think they are doing but I just stopped myself, telling myself it's none of my business and that I can deal with her tomorrow.
The next day came and I talked to her - to cut the story short, she's been feeling sad and she's having cold feet. She felt loved and seen by this "guy" and when they talk he just makes her feel everything she will be giving up when she gets married. For context again, Mark is her first boyfriend and they'd been together for 10 years. She just feels that she has been missing out being with him for so long and said she "wanted to try some new things". I argued with her, that if this was the case, she should break up with Mark instead of sleeping around and cheating. I told her that if she gets married with these thoughts in her head, she would end up hurting Mark (plus there's no divorce in our country, only an annulment and it's hell to pay - not that it's an excuse just a sidenote haha). She said she would think about it and wait for the right time, but apparently - her thinking about it means she'll still sleep around with this guy.
I hate every bit of it, but she asked me not to say anything and to not ruin anything I am not a part of. I've known this guy as much as I know her, Mark, my boyfriend and I bond on music and biking and he is practically like a big brother to me. But, I also want to respect Mary's life and her decisions. I continue to be there for her, on her mental breakdowns and her bad days when she feels really bad with the things she has been doing. I advise her to do the right thing and tell him. But ishe asked me to promise not to tell, inside I feel so bad, because this is not what my convictions are telling me. I know I have to be honest and I feel that I'm betraying Mark by not telling him. And in a weird way, i feel that the trauma I had growing up with a father that cheats, now with a bestfriend who does the same thing is taking a toll on me. I actually got so anxious with this situation that I often zone-out, had no appetite and I actually lost a lot of weight.
Our contracts pass and we're about to go home in a few weeks and she's still sleeping with the guy and some others, still "thinking about it", still not letting go of Mark and still going through with the wedding preps. And she still begs me not to say anything. I cannot tell you how many times I drafted a message on my notepad composing what I will tell Mark. There were also times Mark messaged me and asked me why Mary seems so distant lately. The urge to say the truth is really hard to supress but because I love Mary so much I try to be understanding and wanted her to tell it directly to him so as not to humiliate their 10 year relationship.
Fast forward, I came home a week before her. Being back to the Philippines and seeing my mom waiting for me in the airport - so beautiful and kind and yet knowing how much she feels unloved by my dad made me snap. On that day I came home I sent a whatsapp message to Mary, "I'm telling Mark" and turned off my phone. I met up with Mark that same night and told him everything. He was dumbfounded, he was crying and we spent 5 hours on that coffee shop talking and just him on a roller coaster of anger, sadness and just plain pity on himself really. He really does love her. So much. My boyfriend and I took him home. He was just staring into space on the car ride home and I feel so bad and i had this lingering feeling that I know i did the right thing but i also caused pain.
When I woke up and turned on my phone I had a hundred of texts, missed calls and even emails saying that i answer the phone, that i'm an ungrateful friend, a backstabber, i am stupid and that i just wanted to see her fall because I'm jealous of her. She said she was planning to go home and confess to him directly so that she can reason with him to continue with the wedding despite the circumstance. She said that she had never seen this evil side of me and she pity me because there's nothing interesting going on in my life that I had to cause drama in other people's lives.
I felt worse. I haven't replied to her and it has been 3 weeks from then to today as of writing. I deactivated all my socials because i heard from a friend that she has been posting cryptic status online. They called it off and informed everybody on the guest list. I still receive e-mails from her to this day saying 'I hope you are happy' and 'You're not a hero, you're a villain.' Mark had messaged me saying thanks but thats about it. I think he is also off the grid and not talking to anyone. I feel so so bad and the way she reacted to me made me feel that I'm an asshole for telling, so am i?
P.S Sorry for the long story, I'm just really writing the way I feel about it as it is still so fresh.
And if you were able to read this Charlotte, just wanted to let you know that you have a lot of fans from the Philippines. <3 Keep up being such a great youtuber you are such a great company specially at times like this.

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year now. I get so upset over little things and I completely rip him apart and then immediately feel so horrible about it. For example, tonight he texted me telling me he would “call me right after the basketball game ended” but he called me 10 minutes after it ended instead of “right after.” I don’t understand why that 10 minutes bothered me so much but it did. I went on to rip him apart and even hung up on him. I can see in his face that this behavior is draining him and it breaks my heart. He has never once raised his voice at me and has always been so understanding but I can tell it’s starting to take a toll. I always sit back and realize what I’ve done and tell myself that I’ll do better but then I find myself continuing to do it. I love him more than anything and I can’t stand to lose him. I’m just wondering if anyone else has dealt with something like this and if you did, how do you change? I’m willing to do anything, I don’t want to treat someone I love like this.

A few day ago I posted this story on my main account (posting again here, cause my friends know my main account):
I don't know what to do
So, you're gonna need some content first to understand what I'm willing to express.
About 3 years ago I met a beautiful girl, she talked to me alot and we quickly became friends and life was good.
Then, about Winter '22 things changed, we kinda separated, but still chatted from time to time and stayed friends. In that whole time I Fell in a deep hole I couldn't get out of.
And my life stayed like this for like the whole of '22 up until August, when we started to text again through a mutual friend and it felt like no time had passed.
But after August it was like Winter again. No contact, just some chatting.
Fast forward to November and there was just that little contact, but in November she got a boyfriend and she kind of distanced herself from me and a friend of mine (he is a childhood friend of hers and important for later in the story).
When December rolled around, life got sadder and sadder and I really missed her, but I didn't have enough courage to tell her.
In the first three months of march it was again just our usually 'How's life going' chats but at the end of march I finally had enough courage to ask her to finally meet at her place (we used to do that nearly every week in '21 on wednesdays) and I was really excited.
It went well, we chatted more often, but not for long
End of April, beginning of May she again distanced herself and I thought, that it would be a better idea to just end that whole thing before it could hurt me even further.
And so I did. I texted her (which I deeply regret, I should've just met her in person) and ended things. And from then on we went separate ways, but we said some nasty things at each other after I ended things, she said I was the cause of problems, I said she was, the usually teen Drama if you will.
I fell in a deep hole again. Tried to end my life. I was so down I wasn't eating, wasn't sleeping and distanced myself from everyone.
This continued for about 2 months, but after that I kinda had coped at least a bit, but I was still sad.
In September, I decided I wanted things to change. I lost about 44lbs up until now and am still trying to become a better person. I go to the Gym and try to make things change for me.
And there come the Events of today. The childhood friend of hers (with whom I'm good friends as mentioned before) and her go on vacation together every year.
And today he told me, that they talked about the mess of events last year, and that she really regrets the things she said to me and wishes to properly talk about it. (For context, I told my friend, that I felt no hatred against her in any way, it just went bad for me).
Furthermore, she wants to meet again with me and said friend, to finally make things up.
I don't know what to do. I made such good progress, and I am afraid I might fall back into that hole if I continue that path. On the other hand I really missed her company, though I never admitted it.
I'm open for questions, or just some tips on what to do, as I don't know myself, so go ahead.
Update:
So, about half an hour ago I managed to talk to her (I nearly died from nervousness) and she confirmed the things my friend told me. She wants to talk in person. I think it is better in person too.
But I am really afraid. Those past few days I have been extremely nervous and when messaging her I was extremely anxious. For context, our falling out was about a year ago and this was about the first time texting her since then.
I kind of made myself forget most of the past year, but I now have those memories floating in me again.
It feels weird. But we agreed on not talking about it with our friends, the only third person involved is our mutual friend.
Gonna update again when we've met

Honestly I’m still so ashamed and embarrassed but this story is also mostly funny. So I work on a boat as a scuba instructodive guide, and we were on our way to the first dive site and I was just standing around on my phone. My stomach was feeling pretty upset but I had just taken a bunch of medicine because I’ve been sick so I figured it was just the medicine.
I almost trusted a fart but then realized it would be a mistake. But then for some unknown reason I thought maybe it was a fart and I really really had to fart, and all the sudden I feel something in my pants and know I’ve just shit myself.
But it gets worse, I feel it run down my legs and see it on the floor. I make the split second decision to walk away calmly and pretend nothing happened because no one seemed to notice. So I casually walk over and face my ass to the dash so no one can see the diarrhea streaking down my leg. And moments later one of my coworkers was like “What was that???? Did someone poop their pants” And I’m just like “I have no idea”
And he started giving me a weird look and I really thought I was caught and considered just breaking and telling him and hoping somehow he’d understand. But I was determined to keep going so I just kept pretending I had no idea. And asked him if I should clean it up with an engine diaper (disposable cloth, not important)
And he’s like “I mean I would”
And then I go “wait I’ll go look and see if we have any toilet paper in the head” So I back myself down to the head, making sure to keep my butt facing the dash.
As soon as I’m down there I quickly wiped the shit off my legs with the diaper, throw it away and frantically checked to make sure you couldn’t see it on my shorts from the back. I was wearing white shorts.
And by some grace of God my crime was only visible from the bottom, again I was wearing white shorts. I can only believe that providence saved me.
Anyways I went back up with the toilet paper but another coworker had already rinsed it.
And then she came up to me and was like “Do you know what that was??? I mean I know what it looked like but…”
And again I was just like “I have no idea”
This was like 8:30/9 in the morning, beginning of the day, I’ve still got two dives ahead of me before we get back to the dock.
Thank goodness I was guiding that day that way I could rinse it all off 😭. Anyways I did the dives, texted my roommate and asked if she could bring me a change of pants, I told her “I perioded myself”. And then I asked off for the afternoon and was able to get cut.
Also my boyfriend was on the boat and was trying to get me to take his shift in the afternoon and I told him “Nope, I can’t be here anymore” And he begged me to tell him why but I couldn’t tell him then in case he gave me away by his reaction. So I texted him about it later.
All I could think about was number one how embarrassed I was, but number two (no pun intended) how in the hell did I get away with it????
I don’t know if no one truly noticed or if someone did and just didn’t have the heart to say anything. But either way glad the whole boat didn’t see it or I would’ve had to quit and leave the country.
So to anyone on here who’s feeling really embarrassed or ashamed about something, I hope my story makes you feel a little better about whatever you’re embarrassed about 😂.
EDIT: For reference this only happened yesterday and I don’t know how to look my coworkers in the face 😭. I’m so embarrassed I cried just thinking about it today, I genuinely cannot believe that happened I keep thinking it was a bad dream. And also I spilled it to my high roommate and coworker just to get it off my chest 😂.
TLDR: I shit my pants at work and it got on the floor, and I’m hoping no one saw.

(I’m pretty pissed rn so i’m just blabbering and not sure if it will make sense). I (20f) met my friend group that consists of 5. I’ll be giving fake names, Danny, Ivan, Ivory and Daisy. I met them in my second semester of university. This particular “friend” Daisy specifically in the friend group stood out the most since she was the first one I became friends with and got along right away. We started hanging out more with the rest of the group 3rd semester (2nd year fall semester). At that time I was dating my boyfriend (still am) who is abroad right now, so I haven’t seen him for a while. They were aware about him and at that time I was already dealing with a sh*tty roommate, so I was hanging out their dorm constantly. But once 3rd semester came around then we started spending Fridays and Saturdays at Daisy’s dorm. Keep in mind my dorm was a 25 min walk and near a forest and I would get home usually around 12am. Those days we chose to hang out we got high together and it became our norm. Somewhere in late September and Early October I started having really serious issues with my boyfriend and he honestly wasn’t treating me well at that time and I told my friends, because he brought up the plan of marriage and I was hesitant when the group asked me if I really wanted to marry him. Late October I was telling Daisy about it and she told me its best to break things off with him and how she did the same with her ex boyfriend because he was bad for her, and I’m pretty sure she says she misses him (but yeah I kinda forgot). I really didn’t want to breakup with him but I knew I needed to cut him off, so I got home at midnight and called him and broke up with him and instantly regret it. I was already dealing with so much other shit and I almost una****d my self after. But plans didn’t work so I kept my mouth shut. (I’ll get to the point I promise.) Late December I got news that a contract i signed over a year ago with a friend whose father owned a business offered me a job meaning I was going to move to another country. ( I ended up changing the contact for a later year) I would be super close to my boyfriend and I was pretty hesitant since so much had changed and I called my boyfriend who was my ex at that time and told him everything and we talked for a while. Long story short we missed each other a lot and we acknowledged that we both did terrible stuff but in the end if we worked it out together then our relationship could work. We set boundaries and rules for us to follow and we are currently together and I’m really happy right now. I didn’t tell my friends about me getting back with him because I knew they would be upset which I understand. I told Ivory first in late March and I asked for her to be understanding that he changed and she was upset but told me that she’ll always support me and be there for me which I needed to hear. Daisy didn’t find out until 2 weeks before my birthday and Daisy was super pissed at me and ever since she was cold and rude, ending all the convos with the gc that replied to me with periods. Since January I’ve noticed that Daisy would be pretty rude and only think about herself mainly and not the rest of us. There would be some days where I would ask if we can hang out at my place instead and I would always hear the same thing how my place was too far and that it’ll be late when they leave which did annoy me a lot since that was exactly how I went home. I walked back home a lot at midnight, ALONE and high. The 2 times they had came over they all left as a group since Daisy, Ivan and Danny lived in the same building and they would drop off Ivory on the way, while I was the only one who lived the furthest. When we would hang out at Daisy’s place she would ask what we wanted to watch we give ideas and would usually 85% of the time say no to our suggestions and pick the movies she wanted to watch instead. None of us have cars so we rented zipcars and I noticed a while after that when it was only convenient for her and when she was the one who needed groceries then she would text us like the day before or the day and sometimes an hour or so before of whenever she needed to run errands and when we weren’t able too then she would get mad. But when it came to us asking if we can go then she didn’t want too or was low on money which that one i understand. She would get pissed or annoyed a lot at Ivory for being herself sometimes, which honestly imo it pissed me off so much for the way how Daisy was with her. I slowly started distancing myself from the group for a while since I had my own shit going on and I was getting overwhelmed with it. My breaking point was when 2 weeks before my birthday Daisy found out about my boyfriend and went radio silent with me and was ignoring me in the gc and I remember her reposting posts on insta that were targeting me. I sound selfish but I was really looking forward to my birthday, but a week before my birthday I got a call that my mom was in the hospital and I was 12 hours away from her and I was an emotional wreck because I was just hearing she was dying. I didn’t tell my friends about it. I was FaceTiming my boyfriend and crying to him because I felt so alone and needed someone, but I figured celebrating with my friends would kind of help distract me. Since a lot of uni students were doing “peacefully protests”, my campus was shut down and there were many cops on campus and we werent allowed back on campus or else we would get arrested or idk. But the day before my birthday Ivory texted me saying (copied and pasted) “Daisy and Netty would have to walk across campus for it and I asked if there was a way to cancel it still and Dulce said yeah and I was like I don’t want yall to get arrested and then Dulce is being weird and was like “then we’ll cancel it problem solved” and long story short the car has been cancelled”. The plan was that we were going to rent a zipcar and get jack in the box and dutch and then head over to Daisy’s dorm (which i didn’t want and asked if we can maybe do it at my place) and just hang out. But I really didn’t feel like walking 30 minutes back to my dorm (since I couldn’t walk through campus and had to go around). But I’m not sure it just got confusing and in the end everything was canceled and being sad was an understatement. I was really sad about it because it would be my first birthday party with a group of friends who I thought were my actual friends. The day of my birthday and got myself a tiny cake and celebrated by myself in my dorm. Ever since my “amazing” birthday I was just depressed and figured it was time for me to move on to the next chapter of my life. ( I had other problems with my life besides them.) Right before school ended i texted the gc that I was leaving and never coming back and I miss Ivory because she was a really good friend and I miss her a lot.. can’t say much about Daisy because today I posted an instagram story note saying “(uni name) is is greedy and mean just like em. glad im gone” i got sent a letter saying how the school was asking me to pay the remaining medical bill which was like 144$ and idk it just reminded me of the many rude people i came across on my campus. I wasn’t directing it at her until she posted her own insta note and it said “ that’s so crazy, not my fault your delusional” which i know was directed at me. I want to text her and call her out for her the stuff she had done and tell her to grow up. But I’m not sure if I should just block her and move on. I kind of need closure and advice on how to handle the situation.

I (M21) and ex-girlfriend (F21) I’ll call her Kate, have had an on/off relationship for 6 years. We met/reconnected in June of 2018 after having previously gone to elementary and middle school together until her mother pulled her from school.
Kate reached out to me during the summer between our freshman and sophomore year and we instantly hit it off. I ended up asking Kate to be my girlfriend in August of 2018 and we dated until March of 2019, we split for reasons I honestly don’t remember, we were 15/16 so it was likely something trivial. We both dated other people during summer 2019 and got back together in September 2019 after realizing the people we were with were essentially distractions that suppressed our feelings for each other.
After that, we dated from September 2019 until April of 2021. In October of 2020 Kate began receiving text messages from a bi-curious woman who had supposedly saw her at a party and asked her to indulge in her fantasies and would text Kate throughout the night, writing paragraphs about the things she wanted to do to her. It was revealed that this bi-curious women was actually her brother in-law and after a 2 week therapy course in Tennessee for his “sex addiction” Kate’s family allowed him back into the family and dismissed Kate’s feelings towards her predator, going as far as inviting him to family party’s and intentionally not inviting her as to not cause any drama. So to say Kate’s relationship with her family is on the rocks is an understatement. 2021 was my senior year and I had a choice to make, initially Kate had told me she wasn’t going to have a long distance relationship with me if I went to college, this weighed heavy on me and I decided I didn’t want my future to be dictated by her so I broke up with her. Shortly after we broke up Kate was unfortunately raped by her stepsisters boyfriends step brother and upon hearing this my entire world shattered. I reevaluated everything, including my priorities and decided I’d rather be with her than go to school. We got back together in June 2021 and dated again until February 2023.
In February 2023 Kate told me she didn’t know if I was a need or a want, and wanted time apart to understand if I was just comfort and security for her or if it was true love. We had a heart wrenching break up where Kate assured me we would be together in spirit. Four weeks later during spring break Kate was fucking a friend of hers that moved to Tennessee that was a few years older than us that she had met during her time being homeschooled and swore up and down he was a brother to her and whenever he was in town we would all hang out. They dated (long distance) from March 2023 until May 2023. Kate has since confessed her deep regret for doing this, and I do believe her. I missed Kate dearly so we got back together in June 2023 and dated until May 2024.
Shortly after Kate and I got back together in June 2023 she wanted to move out of her parents house and get away from the toxicity because it was affecting her mental health. Kate told me if I didn’t want to move out with her that was fine and she would find someone else to live with but I could already sense the resentment and I wanted to remove her from her situation at home so in true White Knight fashion, I suppressed my concerns of moving out and we started looking for apartments. We put the deposit down on a brand new 550 sqft unit in November and just had to wait until January for it to be built. Just before new year we found a single wide trailer for sale in a local park that was priced to sell and needed work. We ended up backing out of our apartment deposit and bought the single wide trailer for 10k cash split 50/50.
From January until May I worked on the trailer everyday after work. Completely renovated the kitchen down to studs, bathroom down to the studs, replaced a window and redid plumbing, got a new water heater and carpet in the living room, re-leveled the hallway and laid new flooring down the hall and replaced the washer and dryer area due to water damage and electrical concerns. Repainted every room, new baseboards, and bought new appliances for the kitchen (except the fridge). I’m a handy person and did most of these things myself and only subbed out the water heater and carpet install. I was pretty burnt out and what should’ve been exciting for us I slowly began to resent.
Kate and my mom/sisters weren’t on talking terms during this either due to “the dress incident” which really peeved me. My sisters are seniors this year and had to go prom dress shopping, my mom and sisters had overlapping schedules and ultimately the only day they could go get dresses was a day that Kate was unable to attend. This hurt Kate’s feelings so much she decided she wasn’t going to talk to them until they apologized for leaving her out. My mom and sisters never reached out because they didn’t even know Kate was upset and when they did find out she was upset they didn’t feel like they owed her an apology and that it was just unfortunate circumstances. I tried explaining to Kate that it did suck they went without her and I was sorry she was upset but ultimately there wasn’t anything that could be done and they didn’t intentionally hurt her so maybe she should just drop it. Kate went from regularly being at my house to never coming over and my family took notice. Eventually Kate did make peace with my mom and one of my sisters, but not both. My other sister lashed out at Kate and accused her of being manipulative and childish, my sister for whatever reason decided to compare their traumas as well (which is completely uncalled for) and voiced no desire to have a relationship with Kate. Kate took this as you would expect and distanced herself from my sister and my house. I was livid with my sister for lashing out and I wanted them to work things out and encouraged both of them to talk to each other to work things out but they are both very prideful and both were willing to die on their hill.
I’m very family oriented and the stress of Kate not having a solid relationship with my family was extremely taxing to me both mentally and emotionally and this was on top of renovating the trailer and my suppressed feelings towards moving out. I totally checked out and eventually broke up with Kate. Now I’m wondering if I made the right choice or if I’m going to regret leaving my best friend and love of my life because I am just emotionally exhausted from the arguments and not totally being ready to move out. Kate has said she is willing to do couples therapy and I can live at home and she loves me deeply but I just don’t know anymore, the whole situation is the culmination of so many factors it’s hard to pinpoint why I want to leave, I just do but a part of me wants to keep fighting.

Last week I found out that my boyfriend was making female “friends and deleting all calls and text messages from his phone about it. I went through his phone because I had a weird feeling something wasn’t right (we do have each others passwords and have granted each other permission to browse about each others phones at any given time) So after a weird night where he came home from work he was requesting we engage in sex and I wasn’t really feeling it because it felt more like a demand to me and was not romantic in the slightest. This has continued to be the case ever since I had our third child back in November. Everything about our sex life has felt pressured, unromantic, demanding , unfeeling and honestly like a chore to me. Anyways this particular night was just feeling even more off as it spark a slight argument about how much sex we were apparently not having. The aggression mixed with the fact that we haven’t been talking much lately lead me to start feeling like he was hiding something. Particularly because my boyfriend is a pretty chatty guy. He’s one of few men that can literally talk for 24hrs nonstop. Honestly the slight distance wasn’t bothering me too much considering I have been going through my own postpartum depression and trying to stay stable and be a present mom to all three of our very demanding children which ages are 4,3 and 6 months. Literally NONE of these tiny humans can take care of themselves so I was just trying to manage my emotions the best I could and so not talking wasn’t a big thing to me. It wasn’t until that night that everything felt so very wrong to me that I decided after forever to peak into his phone. Hoping it was just my anxiety I snooped around and found things that seemed alarming to me. I noticed there were recently deleted messages from a woman I’d never heard of only 4 and one of them saying I’ll call you back. Which leads me to believe they’ve been taking often and these 4 messages are no where near the whole picture. I look at the message date and time and search his call logs and FaceTime for a call even closely corresponding to the text. Nothing came up. Then I decided to look for ANY call at all between them. Again nothing came up. This was enough to really deeply upset me because we had discussed boundaries in our relationship and one was that he currently told me he wanted to start making new “friends” and he’d like some to be female. I said okay that’s cool with me as long as you let me know you’ve made a new friend and are transparent about who you’re talking to. This was very important considering other times throughout our 6yr relationship he was dishonest about female friends and did things behind my back that were really painful during my last postpartum stage. Really all the postpartum stages. There are always secret calls and deleted texts with some new female friends”friend”. To that note he was searching up a women who we both agreed he would no long be friends with back when I had our other child and in his other iPhone that shares the same iCloud there were messages from a woman with the same name Bree but placed under the content JJ in his phone. I only knew it was Bree because he literally had a text under the contact saying “Hey Bree it’s so and so” I was floored at this point and my trust has felt like it was truly broken. He made up excuses and told me it’s all a misunderstanding and he was being careless but I didn’t buy it and kicked him out. Now it’s been a week and pretty much everyday he tries to come back and get back together but I really don’t think I want to. I honestly feel like although I’ve been devastated and heartbroken a part of me feels at peace with this absence and to be done with this untrustworthy relationship. I’m so confused at the moment and keep trying to just spend everyday I can taking care of myself and our children. I’m just lost and would love some advice on this situation, any thoughts?

Hello everyone,

I am trying to get some advice on a situation I have going on. It’s a long story, so please forgive me I will try to make it as short as possible. My grandmother passed away in January. She left everything to me in the will. I am also the guardian of my uncle now who is severely handicapped. Her house was left to me to sell to be able to care for him. Before she died she was in the process of evicting my mother and her boyfriend. Once she died I went through with the eviction. Even gave them a couple extra months and a car. My mom also had an extreme risk protective order served on her for threatening to kill herself and anyone who came onto the property. This made her boyfriend angry who began texting me saying he was going to buy her more guns. At the eviction, he put multiple guns in his car and pointed to a bulge on his hip and told me and the constables he had a .44 and wasn’t afraid to use it. Since then I have gotten texts from him saying he is going to make things up about me in hopes that I get killed. He has threatened to get me charged with grand theft auto. I’m not really worried about that stuff. My issue is he has been coming back to the house. He stole the BGE meter. Has been stealing mail. Going through sheds. I set up cameras to catch him stealing mail, being on the property, riding up and down our dead end street (my house is on the end), and walking through the yard. I went on vacation this weekend and someone shot through my house and destroyed the mailbox. I know it was him, but the police say he hid in the bushes to do it and my camera didn’t pick it up. They were able to find the bullet in the house and have been telling me I need to go get a peace order. That way if he comes back on the property they can arrest him. My lawyer says I don’t have proof of any of this and it won’t work. I am going to the courthouse tomorrow and very nervous and could use some advice. For some background info, he has an extensive record dating back atleast 30 years, was in prison for 18months, assault/DV charges, and is a convicted felon. Do I have a case here? I am also worried about doing this and making him more mad. But the police are telling me one thing while my lawyer says another. 

If you took the time to read all this thank you! Very sorry it’s so much.

For some backstory, I(25f) haven't always had the closest bond with my step-dad growing up. I always felt intimidated by him because of the fact that I found him rude and neglectful of my siblings and I. He preferred his biological children more. He never really made an effort to bond with me, causing a strain in our relationship and me feeling heavily negative about him. He has done many things from: saying "i would date someone like you if i was in highschool" and being creepy one time and dangerously close in my face while he was drunk. This caused my mother and I to get into a fight, and then them ignoring me for three days including my birthday (which has left me a lot of trauma since then). Let's just say, I do not feel kind things towards him, but still remain respectful towards him for the sake of my mom and because I live in his house for the next 1 1/2 months until I can move out.
My boyfriend is in a tough spot right now financially, so he is also staying with his parents. However, it is a very cramped space they live in since its his parents, brother, and sister. The worst part of it all is how horribly hoarded it is to the point where it's hard to navigate the apartment. It's so bad to the point where there is expired food still in the fridge, mold in various areas such as the shower and such, and is extremely dirty to the point where giant roaches are found. He is working 2 jobs back-to-back to try to help pay off his debt, but the conditions he is in is unsafe and mentally draining.
This has also put a strain on our relationship as we struggle with money and are trying to fix our credit. The distance from each other is super far and our jobs are opposite schedules with different days off. Mentally, I have felt extremely down as well. It's so bad to the point where my bf broke down crying because of his horrible living situation and that his parents and brother pestering him for money for rent despite the conditions they live in.
I know my situation isn't as horrible as his, but I feel extremely uncomfortable living under the same roof as him and found it super odd that he has been so strict with me ever since I moved back in. I have always followed the rules to the 'A' and never argued back with him because I did not want to disrespect him. One of his rules specifically was not having my boyfriend stay the night, which I understand completely.
I felt desperate, because I love my bf so much and care about him and there's nothing in the world that i wouldn't do for him. I texted my father first, given it wouldn't hurt to ask if my bf could move in with us temporarily for the next 1 1/2 months until we both move out. However, my father declined without even asking me about why my boyfriend needs another place to move into temporarily. Straight up declined, which has left me confused and hurt because I have done nothing but respect my step-dad despite the fact that he's a creep. I felt hurt, asking him why that was his choice, but then backtracked saying that I was no longer interested in hearing his excuse and would sort out living in a motel with my bf in july for the time being. I have felt like I have shown him respect always and have never received any in return. Most of my life I felt he has always treated me unfairly because im not his blood. This was a favor I feel like I am not asking much of given the short amount of time it would be. What do you guys think? Am I wrong?
TLDR; my step-father has said no to my boyfriend (who lives in a horrible hoarding situation that is mentally affecting him) moving in with us for the next 1 1/2 months until we move out because he is a creepy a-hole who has always been controlling and not respectful towards me

A new woman transferred to my office about 4 months ago and since we’ve been developing a good friendship, but I have developed a little crush. We related being the only 2 in our office from the same generation and being born during the same week. We were both off last week for our birthdays so I texted her looking to hangout. We decided to meet up for lunch and have a few drinks. We spent about 3 hours drinking, eating, laughing at each other, told stories about past experiences including work. As we’re drinking she casually mentions that she broke up with her boyfriend 2 months ago. In the moment I’m thinking why is she telling you this but don’t read too much into it. We joked about keeping our enjoyment over to another bar but she had to work the next day. I did tease her that she to finish her drink before we left and she gives me a flirty look asking if this is fraternization. I said I was just teasing and she asked was fraternization meant, I did look up the definition and read it to her and asked if that what we were doing and she just smiled and shrugged her shoulders.

Someone help me determine if I’m overthinking or not…
Recently, my boyfriend has been making jokes about “if” we’ll be together, “if” he’ll come see me in August at college (he’s already taken time off to do so), and “if” this and “if” that about our relationship. It’s gotten to the point where I’m overthinking because it came out of nowhere and him and I NEVER made jokes about that before.
I had confronted him about this and he said they were just jokes and not to worry… kind of ruined my mood for the night unfortunately. We talked about it later that evening when I was finally home and k apologized for being acting weird because of those jokes and he apologized for saying them.
Just tonight, I noticed that he had also changed the background of his phone… It used to be a picture of me but now it’s just some generic Apple Wallpaper. When I confronted him about it, he told me the other picture was old and he wanted to change it (meaning he’d do it later). He apologized for this and didn’t want me to worry… yet here I am worrying lol.
Lastly, he’s been texting one of his friends a LOT more frequently. He’d never used to go on his phone when we spent time together (I’m talking like… nearly 5 months not doing this and we’ve been together for 6 months now). It’s one of his male friends who just recently got out of a long relationship, and I know it’s probably just jealousy that he’s focusing on his friend (which I know is okay and I totally get it… but to be doing it constantly has started to freak me out a little).
I can’t tell what’s going on or if I should truly be worried and talk to him about my feelings… am I overreacting?

Getting this baby boy , his current name from his foster is Cowboy.. cute and funny but not it for me. My boyfriend wants Panda to be the name and i’m thinking Oreo but that’s such a common pet name ;/ Please suggest names.

Hi okay this is my first reddit post so please be patient if it's wonky.
For the story I feel the need to give a lot of backstory so thia post is going to be long. Also these are are fake names duh.
Ok so basically me (f16) and my best friend Ann (f16) have been really close seen the 3rd grade. We always were cose but in the last we became extra close. Ann and I are both gay. And to be clear 100% not in love with each other, she's like my sister. So Ann started dating her now ex-girlfriend Margaret during May of 2023. They continued to date over the summer and into the school year. One of Margarets close friends is someone named Shannon (f17) who is also gay. My friend Ann and Shannon have had classes with each other the entire time during highschool and are friends. So during the summer or 2023 Ann began hanging out with Margarets friends including Shannon. During these hangouts everyone would get drunk together sometimes.
Okay anyways now starting the 2023 school year where I am in 11th grade. I start taking a class because of Ann begging me that is 1 class period with a large amount of people. In that class is Shannon. I had known of Shannon but never spoken to her. I only knew Shannon because Ann has liked her our 9th grade year and people thought Shannon was funny. Basically one day in the class I jokingly insulted Shannon and then felt really bad about it. I dmed her on Instagram and we basically did not stop dming ever. The class we have together you have to work a lot with classmates and we were on pages together. In the beginning we maybe took a few days breaks but it eventually became we would text for at least an hour every single day. Now at this same time Ann is beginning to do more school stuff with Margaret such as go to football games. At these events Shannon is there. I began my the end of September to develop feelings for Shannon. I told Ann this. Margaret unprompted told Ann that they should get Shannon and I together. Shannon then told Margaret she wasn't interested. (I later found out this was a lie.) Now during the school year Ann and I are becoming closer but we also are constantly bickering. It was something that was developing to become worse over time. Now finally December happens and all my friends are convinced Shannon likes me. In early December Margaret and Ann break up. This makes Anns already declining mental health get worse. On the 20th of December Ann and Shannon have plabs to hang out and drink. Ann has a master plan that she will ask Shannon about me. Shannon does end up admitting her feelings. Ann tells me this and I message Shannon. On the 1st I tell Shannon I like her and Shannon feels the same. We hang out more and then on the 12th I ask Shannon to be my girlfriend and she agrees. Okay so this is only the back story so get ready.
During December and January Ann was so upset and depressed. Ann has some history of depression but it was the worst I had ever seen it. I also have depression and I am on medication for it and see a therapist. But Ann is someone who does not like to express her feelings and when she does, she does it by being really rude. During this time Ann and I are constantly bickering and disagreeing. We are genuinely getting just constantly so upset with each other. Shannon my girlfriend (this is important for context) also has mental health issues. Ann and Shannon at this point are very close. Ann and Shannon sometimes drink with each other especially when they are very upset. At first I had no idea how I felt about this. I think I felt in part very upset that my best friend who I was constantly fighting with and who wasn't making plans to hang out with me, was getting drunk with my girlfriend. I also felt very stressed for my girlfriend and friend and honestly this behavior reminded me of a form of self harm which I have a history of. So I in part felt triggered by it. I also felt jealous that Shannon and Ann were getting drunk together and sharing a bed together and that they had once mutually liked each other. Because they had. In our freshmen year and into our sophomore year they had mutually liked each other. And I am not dumb I have liked many people and it no longer means anything. However it still upset me.
Now here here's when there's lots of feelings. On Valentine's Day Shannon and I had plans to do something after she got off work and exchange gifts. Ann and I have first period together. In first period we were talking about Fleetwood Mac with another friend. I then made a joke about my other friend and Ann gatekeeping and went to my seat. Later when walking to my 3rd period I overheard Ann talking to one of our friends about me. Ann was saying that she did not understand why I was so upset. I wasn't originally but not I was. I hysterically cried all of 3rd period. I felt so hurt. I walked to 4th period which I have with Ann and the friend Ann was talking to. When I got to class Ann said "I have a question for you". I responded with "I have a statement for you". Ann then asked me why I was so upset about the joke and I said I wasn't. I then told Ann that if she was going talk about me to do it where I can't hear. I hysterically cried for the rest of the class in silence. Ann apologized and said she didn't mean to hurt me and that we could discuss this during our preplanned sleepover. At this sleepover Ann and I with parent permission for drunk. I talked to Ann about how I felt and jealousy. She said she was sorry for how mean she had been to me and that Shannon and her would never cheat on me.
Now to preface this next thing I had talked to Shannon multiple times about how I feel. I talked to Shannon about feeling hurt by Ann and feeling jealous. I also had texted Ann about it more. Ann and I were both trying to be kinder to each other. Now I don't know how many times it happened but Ann and Shannon did keep getting drunk together. It wasn't often but also never. Now either end of February or beginning of March is when I get my feelings hurt so bad. That day in the morning before class Ann texted me and texted me asking if I was okay if Ann and Shannon skipped 1st period to hang out in Shannons car because Shannon was having a really hard time. Ann and Shannon had done this before. I responded to Ann's text with "IDK just do it" and she then said she wouldn't if I didn't want it and I responded "Just do it". I then started hysterically crying. I expected Ann not to be in 1st period so I was excited to cry in peace. To my horror she did not hang out with Shannon in her car. So basically ended of silently hysterically crying for half of the day because I was so done. Now for about the next part you need context, I LOVE hot pretzels, the ones you can get at the movie theaters. Subway had recently come out with a hot pretzel and Shannon really liked it and we planned to get it sometime. Now the day of this all happening Shannon and I had plans to have a sleepover. Shannon told me originally when we first started hanging out that she got a pretzel. Hs when ended up later telling me that Ann and our mutual friend and her got hot pretzels. Shannon didn't want to mention it to me because she knew I would be upset. Apparently Shannon also was going to invite me but forgot and thought I worked on Fridays (I never work Fridays). We then discuss it and I hysterically cry. Shannon really tries to ask me what could be done to make me feel better. And we discuss it and I feel better. I do later on have to tell Shannon that I don't appreciate it when her and Ann make jokes about being in love with each other after I hysterically cried to both of them.
This leads to now. I have been feeling a lot better about it. Ann and Shannon still hang out and it's still upsetting sometimes. Ann now has a girlfriend so I hope that provides me a sense of further security. Ann and I are also doing a lot better. However I just wanted some incite in what I could do for myself to feel better about this. There is more that happened in between them ans now but this post is already so long. I will give more context if people want. Please give me some advice, and I am not looking to be told to break up with them. Thank you!

I can't believe I'm writing this. But I need some insight cause I find myself getting angry and confused. This is my first reddit post. Please excuse my redditor literacy.
This is the most convoluted story. It is long. But it's a ride.
You've been warned.
(Fake names obviously)
I (20f) have a best friend, Karl (20m) of 4 years. Now I see what you might assume. No. We're close but I'm mainly into women, I currently have a partner and have had a partner 90% of the time they where dating.
Now Karl got with Regina(19f) late 2022, the relationship started off rocky as she said "I only want you" but then kissed her ex, and then couldn't decide who she wanted. But still insisted once she chose Karl, she wanted to stay friends with her ex. Posted pictures when they'd "hang out" where it looked like she was sitting on his lap. But she swore she wasn't. Constantly blocked him after things would happen, then unblocked him, lied, then cried when Karl would find out.
Yes. Infuriating. But here you go. That's how Regina was introduced to our lives.
It took a while but eventually I tried to look past this. I care about Karl, if this was who he loved. We accepted it. Infact made it a point to invite her out to gatherings, made sure to offer her food, offer her drinks, chatting. Making sure she's involved. Gassing her up. Girlie things. (God I'm so desperate for everyone to love me it's a problem.)
Then her friends, ex boyfriend began to follow me, I had hoped this was because of how well I'd done to make friends. But this waa short lived.
Originally I'd just hoped it was banter. I'd chat to them, often sending pictures with Regina in her classes and joking with me.
Unfortunately I have social impairments, Slowly it became clear they where just laughing at me, calling me names but with cutesy emojis. Remember the girls in highschool? The ones thatd pretend to be your friend in class because it was funny? Like that.
So i stopped paying attention, often ignoring them. Unfortunately it only got worse. It got to a point I'd be spammed and have my instagram story replies with slurrs, calling me a pdf. File??? (I was talking to someone 6 years older than me?) Weird references, calling me cringe (I know. I know, worst thing ever right.), picking on my hair, my eyes(strabismus), my clothing. So I folded. Told Karl I wouldn't be dealing with it anymore. I'd blocked them, and asked karl To ask Regina to ask her friends to stop contacting me, I was doing my finishing project in college (uk) to get into university and it was getting to point I couldn't focus. I told him what had been happening, that I didn't know what her problem was. But I am a adult woman and this was bizarre.
Now, that alone. I forgave and in time, forgot. She had allegedly appologized "for them" and didn't know any of that was happening and had no I'll intent and hoped we could still be friends. Okay, sure.
Weird semi important point: she confessed in a groupchat that she used to be a 'chav' I said " you do look like someone who'd have bullied me" Banter. She then posted on her Instagram story (Paraphrased by memory) "When someone says you look like someone who'd have bullied them- but your friend died" I can't remember, but it was along the lines of that kind of 'what the fuck does that even mean'
Upon a later night of drinking, regina was talking to Karl about the ex, Mike. I brang up the fact her ex boyfriend kept liking my photos and was following me Hoping to bond over the fact this guy was weird, common girly bonding
"You know he only follows you so he could make fun of you and how cringe your posts are". She laughs.
The group goes quiet and holy shit I'm embarrassed. I just internalise that and change the subject.
Later I repost a reel of a guy saying something vaugely corresponding to this convosation. Basic premise when someone tells you their friend talks shit about you, then obviously you ask "why do they do that to you" (I know childish but at this point I was starting to really dislike her. My friend had sent it to me, It was late.) When i say She launched, "if you've got a problem talk to me instead of being weird and I'd tell you I was so scared of Mike and he held such a power over me and I just let him chat shit" I'd love to just mention this is after the 2nd time she'd unblocked him to talk to him behind Karl's back. I put up with it. Karl is at this point family. And if this is who he loves. We have to love her too.
This is all important to the point I swear.
Anyway.
My partners (now ex) friend Frank (22) and us fell out. Unimportant to this story but he let me know, Regina and an old very close friend had a groupchat to say very unpleasant things about me in, despite this old friend I never stopped speaking well of. Hoping we'd find eachother again. He'd been scouted when we had fallen out. But respected me enough to tell me. Another confrontation where she is so misunderstood and I'm making a big deal out of nothing and she's never ever had a problem with me.
Okay. Talked to Karl again. He is shocked but takes her word. As I'd kinda expect. Its his girlfriend. He took her to London over my birthday, he didn't want to ruin it. So he gave it up.
Karl throughout this is withdrawing from us. When he's with us it's like the light is gone from his eyes. He's distracted, quiet, doesn't laugh as much. Often tries to slip out of meetups because he'll "only bring you guys down". He's constantly picking up his phone. Constantly messaging. Cancelling plans. He won't talk to us. We where all worried.
Karl few months later calls me for advice. Turns out she kept getting caught in lies about her ex and general behaviours. Ignoring him for days again, threatening to game quit if she doesn't get the attention she wants. It'd all gotten so tiring that he didn't have any attraction to her anymore. He had no sex drive. He dreaded seeing her. But had to constantly message her. He's been feeling like this for months. Karl didn't want to leave her just before her birthday, he felt it cruel. But then it was the anniversary coming up. He didn't want to be responsible. He'd tried gifts, trips, anything just to make her happy. No matter what he did he still felt like nothing was enough. I managed to talk him through. About threatening suicide if someone wants to leave, is indeed abuse. He wasn't himself. How we felt and how we where worried. He got choked up. Not realizing anyone cared. He asked if he should leave. I asked if he was happy. "I can't imagine not having her there." Okay no. Not what I asked. Eventually he confessed He'd never felt lower. I said. Can you see yourself marrying her? No. Infact he said the thourght freaked him out. I said. Well. Why are you with her. Eventually it got to a point He left her. She said she'd been thinking about it. Yay? No 12 hours later he calls me saying its all fixed. Its all okay. How He's a horrible person for doing this to her. How it's him that needs to change. How he will spend a long time making this up to her. You know. I'm a domestic abuse survivor. But I never realized how much hearing that killed abit of my sould. Trying to convince Karl that he's worth anything is like trying to convince a deaf non signing American Conservative that the gays aren't trying to make him gay too.
They do eventually a few months later split. She says she wants to breakup as he "doesn't love her the way she wants him to" he is hurt but says okay. She then obviously realizes hey, he isn't gonna start begging on his knees. You can only hurt someone so much. She then asks "breakup sex" directly after and to this day its our favourite quote. But he says no, she asks for one more night, he says no you just broke up with me? Leave? She complains about not being able to get to the train station. Now. Karl didn't have his licence till a few weeks later. So queue the weirdest car ride with his DAD you've ever heard of. She cried. Hugged him. Begged him to reconsider. Karl officially has realized how disconnected he's become. Nah.
Queue a weird amount of messages ranging between "I'm sorry baby" to "I CANT BELIEVE YOURE GIVING UP ON US" and sexually charged messages, After karl finally blocks her. She begins to call him from various different numbers. Tries to get with his friends. Fails. Still calls him crying for the next 6 months. In which these events happen.
Frank from before. Now it turns out. While we don't have full timeline but either weirdly around the time they broke up they got /very/ close. To the point despite Frank having a partner. She was begging him to sleep with her. But Being weird with it. One minute she wants him. Next she doesn't. Basically, she loves the idea that she could have him. But doesn't want to keep any of them. Frank had a girlfriend. Goddess of a lady. Daisy. Regina proceeded to pick on every little thing to Frank about daisy she could. Always. Physical appearance.
Then. Now I am simply not making this up. after Frank separates himself from this situation. Regina begins to harrass Daisy, With telling Daisy about how much Frank's missing out on not shagging her instead.
And making 6 different instagram accounts to harrass them, and this is where I come in further.
Regina now, after the hate group chooses some last straws she can pull to drag him back. She makes a fake account. Goes to message Frank. With the opener of gossip about me and my partners sex life. I talked to Regina less times than I can Count on one hand.
The main one I'm aware of is "Did you know my partner drinks my names piss" Which I'm not here to kink shame; but this does not happen unfortunately but i still find it beautiful of a statement.
I one day due to some more harassment and more attention than I'm used to.
Decide to private my instagram. It was only for 24 hours in full so I could change some settings and archive some things. Within 15. An account. David, requests to follow. Strange. Cause my account is shadow banned and cannot be shown to non followers. I click. Heavens foretold dear friends. Regina's new boo. Id like to clarify. 2 weeks before Karl was still getting snotty teary calls telling him she misses him. Karl's friends where sending screenshots of Regina trying it on with them then getting snotty when she was rightfully laughed at.
I ask "hi??"
"Hi me and my girlfriend just wanted to stalk how cringe your posts are" I wish I could have been funny and not caught off guard. And shamed them. Oh god. I wish I had. Basically I told him, the gym is waiting. She will chew you up. Idk what I did but I'm sorry. Godamn. Leave me be. And they said "It's not that deep lighten up" I am indeed embarrassed.
But they kept mentioning my workplace. I am a bartender, and one day she did come in with a man, they seems very loved up but then again. It certainly wasn't this guy. then said bad things about me infront of a coworker. It was a little satisfying seeing her face fall and hit the table from shame as I was carrying an ice bucket past her. She was already cut off at this point for her antics.
David's best friends memepage now follows me. But has been the first out of 5 accounts not to say anything. I'm sure they think I don't know. David claimed I was lying in my encounter. I do wonder if I could flip the table entirely.
but I also wonder if she's just very mentally unwell. But it's been 1.5 years of this and I'm just abit knackered and pissed off.
I'm 20 feeling like a highschooler. But I'm working for a bipolar diagnosis and I have ADHD, the paranoia. Is driving me up the wall man. Like this woman knows enough of my details and she's spread where I work. She's been to my house. She has clearly gotten multiple people involves historically and despite me trying to apologise, it makes no difference.
If I knew what the issue was, I'd gauge it. But it's not knowing and not being told. But it's reassuring it's not just me. With daisy, I'm wondering if this is historic. Might be vanity? She (used to?) Post alot of ...suggestive photography and always wears a lingerie corset and heavy makeup, filters. Nothing wrong with that of course but she's a very sexually orientated person, and given the contexts to that behaviour. I wonder if its to cover some in depth issues. But that's just a theory. Part of feels hey, if she needs men to tell her that I am ugly, cringe and worth nothing. Then she van have that. The other half makes me want vengeance for the boy, prove that I'm not whatever she'd been making me out to be and make her realize she needs to change. But that's. abit pathetic innit.
Anyway I doubt anyones made it this far and if you have. Thank you for reading my story and the weirdness of it. I hope it hasn't been too shit. Just needed to get it off my chest. And maybe if anyone has anything to say.
TLDR: my best friends ex has always had an issue despite my efforts. Getting various people to harrass and bully me, She tried to get with his friends, other guys we knew and harrassing us all. All while still crying she misses him. Her new bf thinks I'm lying and is joining in, his best friend now follows me too. My partner allegedly drinks my piss <3

I can't explain the dread I feel right now. I love him so much, I've drifted apart from basically all of my friends and he's the only person left right now that I actually enjoy hanging out with and put effort into seeing. He texts me daily, is so understanding of me and my anxiety issues - he's sat with me for hours upon end, rubbing my back, telling me everything is going to be okay. Granted, a lot of these anxiety causes were over stuff he did, but still. He showers me with compliments, and we get up to so much fun together. I can't recall the last time I had so much fun with someone just lying in their bed, going out for a walk, etc. I love him so much.
But, a more logical side of me is telling me we have to break up. I am extremely torn and it's causing me so much anxiety. There have been several incidents that have deeply hurt me and made me question our compatibility.
About a month or two after he and I became official, he sent me a picture of a girl he used to sleep with, intending for me to recreate it. He claims he “didn’t know” that it was her, frankly I was and continue to be insulted by the fact he thinks I’d believe he saw that picture and didn’t immediately know it was of his female friend and not some random girl he didn’t know, especially since he had cut her face out of the picture. Another thing related to this same girl - followed by an indulgence of my anxiety, I checked her instagram profile and I can see that he's liked a select number of pictures of hers whilst we were dating, all pretty provocative, which also makes me very insecure. What makes this different is that he’s told me they’re no longer friends, not by his choice but by her refusal since she ghosted him after they slept together, which makes it seem like he would be with her if he was given the choice. If I was her, I’d take a like to a picture like that to mean that he was still interested, especially since he told me she ignored his messages after they slept together, it changed the context a bit.
He also throughout our relationship for the first maybe 5 months demonstrated a very intimate knowledge about most of his female friends; I’ve heard him go into details about his female friends’ preferred masturbation techniques and relay that to me as advice, their favorite positions in bed, when I said I enjoyed it when he did something in bed, he could casually mention how “his friend told him she loved it as well”. For clarification, they never slept together, they had just deeply discussed things like this.
By happening to catch some notifications while we were on hisphone, I also was informed of his friend who sent him semi-regular updates about her sex life, describing certain sexual acts they did, how good the guy was, commenting on dicksize, etc. I made it clear I was not OK with this and he agreed that he found it too much. He claims he asked her to stop. But then, it happened again, and he blamed it on her forgetting. What hurt me here was also his lack of reaction when we both saw the text notification, he just noted on it and then continued watching the TikTok we were watching. He didn't seem to care about how it affected me or the breach of our set boundaries. That makes me suspect he either didn’t care or wasn’t surprised because, well, maybe he never set those boundaries in the first place.
When we spoke about it later, he did validate my feelings, but what also took place was him protecting her behavior. It made me feel so undervalued, and unheard. She has had sexual trauma, therefore she must message her friend who is in a relationship about who she had sex with, why, when and how. It was just such a shitty excuse, and I don’t know what’d make me feel worse; him genuinely believing that or him being so willing to lie to me. Regardless, we’ve now come to the decision to cut her off. So that problem should be “dealt with”, but my feelings of betrayal and distrust still linger.
I could never imagine doing these things in a relationship; it would make me feel like I was cheating. This is why I believe we're incompatible. While he may find this behavior acceptable, I don't. can't handle the anxiety and insecurity it causes me. I think I simply have a more conservative view of relationships, intimacy, and sex, and I believe it's essential that my partner shares this perspective.
Another major issue between us is our sex life. While I've enjoyed some aspects, I often feel my sexual needs aren't reciprocated. Despite discussing this before, improvements have been minimal. For instance, when I asked to use a condom for the first time, he put it on but then continued basically dry-humping me until he came. After that, I asked if he wanted to do something else - me still being horny - and he said he was too tired to continue. Next day, when I clarified “something else” meant intercourse, he was upset he missed out, indicating he did have energy but chose not to please me.
Another time, after we started kissing and moved to the couch, he requested I give him a blowjob, which I did, but then after he came he just left me on the couch, feeling used and alone. I feel this happens a lot, he is very focused on his own pleasure but not mine. What makes it worse, when I gathered courage to ask for reciprocation with a vibrator, which is hard for me being that forward, he responded unenthusiastically and then ignored it to first eat then play video games, then claiming he forgot. He later asked me “oh, did you want me to still do that?” maybe two hours later, but I was hurt and felt the way he asked seemed like it was more of an obligation to him than wanting to pleasure his girlfriend.
I've tried to communicate my needs and understand his, even considering factors like potential porn addiction (might be) or lack of attraction. Regardless, our sexual incompatibility persists. I need a partner as interested in my pleasure as I am in theirs.
All these reasons are, like I said, very logical reasons for a breakup, but my dread about it persists. I feel like I would rather take the insecurity and anxiety than feel this way. I’d miss him so much. It doesn’t help that I basically thought I was aromantic and asexual before I met him, I haven’t really been attracted to guys the way I am to him, on an emotional and physical level. I feel like I would never find someone who compares. I am an anxious wreck. Would apprechiate any advice on what you would do in my situation, how I could come to terms with breaking up. ANY insights, and I mean ANY, I would love, I am in dire need.
As a side-note, I was thinking of basically re-formatting this text a bit and sending it to him together with my break-up text, to explain it. He would require to know why, and I'd feel it'd be cathartic. Thoughts on that?
TL;DR: I'm torn about breaking up with my boyfriend, whom I love deeply and share a strong bond with. Despite his support and our fun times together, several incidents have hurt me and made me question our compatibility. He sent me a picture of a girl he used to sleep with, asking me to recreate it, and (IMO) lied about not recognizing it was her. He liked provocative pictures of her on Instagram, making me insecure. He shared intimate details about his female friends' sex lives, which made me uncomfortable. A friend of his sent explicit updates about her sex life, and despite agreeing to set boundaries, it happened again, with him showing little concern for my feelings. These actions have caused anxiety and insecurity, making me feel undervalued and unheard. Our sex life is also problematic; my needs often go unmet, and efforts to communicate haven't led to significant improvements. Despite these issues, the thought of breaking up fills me with dread, as I can't imagine finding someone who makes me feel the way he does. I need advice on how to come to terms with ending the relationship and moving on.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/WanderingWifie
I'm a gaming widow
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest & Marriage
TRIGGER WARNING: addiction, physical violence
Original Post Apr 20, 2024
How is it not me? Help me understand as a gaming widow
My(38f) husband(34m) spent $1800 in 3 months on a mobile game. He recently started purchasing google play cards behind my back so it's not apparent on the bank statement. I caught him because I found it in our truck under the seat. Now he asks for google play cards...except I'm too scared to say no..he's so mean and cold and the walls have holes from it.
I started going to therapy because he's forced us into living almost below paycheck to paycheck. Ofc we've had multiple convos and he knows he may lose me.
I asked my therapist, "How is it not my fault when the kids and me are his life he's trying to escape?" . My therapist kept repeating, "I promise it's not, this is something within him".
I hate her answer.
Can you help me see it from his view? I feel like he doesn't want to be a father to our kids (2m, 7f). Maybe he doesn't want a life with me and can't admit it? Is therapist trying to coddle me? Like is she worried if she says, "WanderingWifie, you are a shit mom. You are a shit partner. You are a shit person. This is your fault because you're a SAHM and he hates living with you in the life you've created together!" That I'll never come back or hurt myself?
He tells me, "at least I'm here. I could be doing (xyz event away from home)after work". At this point I might as well consider him a "cardboard cutout that's glued to the chair". No, really. Our 2yr son got all the way out the door when I was in the backyard letting the dogs out.
I miss my husband so fucking much. We don't go to bed together anymore. He goes to bed at around 130am. I'm never his focus after the kids go to bed. He thinks he's "present" but I doubt he could tell you the plot of any movie or show we've watched lately. He's glued to it for all but maybe 1-2 waking hours...that's me being generous and counting all total points he briefly engages with us. He gets angry when I ask for help putting the kids to bed because it's in the middle of one of his battle raids.
Please please be brutally honest. I don't want to fight for someone to stay in a life they hate.
My MIL is trying to save me from her own son Apr 21, 2024
It just hit me this morning as I sat processing my most recent appointment. It was at her insistence that I saw a therapist that worked closely with women's health. My MIL is the one that briefed the therapist on the situation with her son and his addiction.
My therapist asked, "Does your MIL know how bad the situation at home can get?".
For a moment I didn't answer and the pieces slowly came together as I spoke, "I didn't need to. She saw the holes in the wall and now the shattered glass in the cabinet. I didn't even have a conversation about the cabinet. She texted me after that she was booking me with you and that a wife should never fear her husband. But I never said I was afraid. She knew.."
I cannot imagine how hard this must have been for my MIL; accepting her son is capable of evil and knowing the therapist would guide me into seeing the addiction and abuse wasn't normal, knowing it would leave to me putting plans in place to leave him. She did this knowing the divorce will be nasty and I will have main custody of the kids.
This woman stood up for other woman over her son and I don't know how to begin to thank her.
Edit: info: FIL & MIL grew up in physically abusive households they are not abusive.
My husband is verbally abusive. The concern is it transferring from holes in the walls/smashed glass to my face being met with his fist. For those that don't see holes in walls as warnings....you are blind the way I was...it can turn on a dime, it's a question of when. I had become so used to it preaddiction that it no longer phased me as "not normal". The addiction has ramped his anger issues up. I do not feel safe saying no when he asks to spend money on it.
Edit 2: I promise to continue to update and make posts. It's hard for me to not delete because this addiction...and what it's done...not only is it not talked about (on the rise according to my therapist and WHO has classified it as a disorder similar to gambling) but people that "don't get it" are like "WHAT A LOSER". Please understand this is a 13 year relationship (married for 9 of them) and he was not always like this. I loved the man I married. I do not love this man that has replaced him.
He said something really mean but it's true Apr 27, 2024
"At least I haven't wasted 30K on an education that resulted in nothing".
We've been fighting a lot...mostly about the mobile game addiction. I don't want to get into it here but it's a lot of money and time. My post history talks more about it.
I started crying on the spot when he said it. It was a low blow for many reasons.

1. I tried several different majors in my 20's but bad mental health got in my way and I failed.
   
2. I graduated last summer from a medical trade there are no jobs for.
   
3. I got fired in Jan (2 weeks from the 90 day probation) from my last job and it devastated me because I tried my hardest at it...I guess I'm just garbage at admin work.
   
4. I've been feeling very lost in life and wondering my purpose. Should I go back to my career I had before the kids? I was just a dog groomer...average at best..I tried to break away with a career change but that failed..as you can see.
   

He has tried to apologize but I'm too hurt. I don't feel like I have the right to be mad because what he said is true.
I was supposed to start volunteering at the animal shelter and groom strays for free as per my therapist's hope to "get me out there". Instead, I'm sitting with my daughter watching movies... not wanting to see the light of day.
Update: My MIL is trying to save me from her own son May 22, 2024
Well...It's been over a month... and a lot happened. He blew up my chance to volunteer at the animal shelter. He did not like it when I got strong and said, "I'm not nothing without you; I have rights, you will owe my alimony, half of the house for starters". So he went after the therapist who also mainly runs the shelter... whatever he said made her not respond to my emails or messages. I believe he accused her of purposely ruining a marriage and probably some legal threat from his response. I'm really sad and feel like I can't trust therapists after this...I worry that maybe I'm too damaged... mostly I wonder what was said. I feel freaking abandoned but I don't want to unpack that in this post tbh.
Last night all hell broke loose and I said the words out loud, "I want a seperation- I'm done". I was/am done with doing all the house chores; (laundry, dishes, all & any house cleaning, pet feeding/walking/poop clean up, all the emotional labor of helping 7f with school & teachers, taking on all the finances because he can't be trusted not to spend stupidly & selfishly). I was/am tired of doing all the potty training with 2m and 95% of diapers. I was/am tired of feeling embarassed to let people in the house because of the holes in walls.
I bet you can guess how well it went. New wall holes. Hooray. I went into the laundry room, locked it, and screamed, "No! You don't come in here! This is my safe space. I will fucking call the cops.".
I stayed there for two hours. He kept trying to get me to come out and talk. I said, "I do not feel like we can have a conversation without fighting. " each time. Then I went to bed and pretended to sleep as he got ready for work (omg I was so happy he got called in).
In the morning I texted my mil that it was over and I was leaving at the end of the month. I asked her to make sure he has support during this time...because...I still love him and don't want him to anything dumb. She responded with simply "We (meaning my fil as well) love you ". Omg I cried. I cried because, as a mother myself, I cannot imagine how painful this is for her.
Later on my husband called me. I listened to that canary sing like his life depended on it. He said he would delete the game or not spend anything on it. He said he would create a chore sch with me so I wouldn't be doing everything.
My heart so badly wanted to believe it. I knew I couldn't give in...he needed to feel the gravity of his fuck ups; the almost 3k he spent on a game in 4 months, preventing me from going to therapy, ruining my chance to restart my former career (dog groomer), and just everything.
So that's all for now...I'm sitting here..at midnight...nervous for when he comes home tomorrow (he's gone 12-48 hours at a time for his job).
Ps. My dad is doing his second round of chemo and so far-so good. They did find cancer in his lymph nodes after surgery..so yes it spread but not as bad as it could be. Thank-you to the redditor's that said such kind things.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OOP when asked why she is still talking to her husband and doesn't take the kids and leave

It's a funny thing. This is someone I've been with for 13 years. The major shift in everything happened 4 months ago when he found the game. It's not so easy when you've been a sahm for 7 years esp in this job market.
I used to say the same thing as you when I heard of people in abusive situations. All I can say is unless you've been in a situation similar you do not and cannot possibly understand.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Seeking advice: Why do I do this to myself? So my mom is increasingly harder to get along with. It’s a combination of me putting up boundaries, calling her out on mean or cruel comments and behavior, and her simply being always in a bad mood and shitty. BUT she is also sometimes kind, sweet, supportive, and funny. She is also helping me and my child financially through tuition payments and future college tuition, while I work my butt off just to support the day to day. She doesn’t live in the same state anymore, and whenever we try to have visits, we end up fighting. She’s always in a bad mood or irritated. She has a tons of past trauma, refuses to see a therapist, while I have done a lot of work on myself. Also she denied that I was sexually abused as a child by a family member for most of my life. Anyway, I’m trying to find a common ground. I want to include her in things sometimes because I know she will be gone someday (she’s close to 70 now). I do what I can like send her photos and letters but I refuse to text anymore because she’s passive aggressive and weird in texts. Anyone else have a similar situation? How would you include this person in your life? It sucks to not have a mom but whenever I try to go back it never works. I think she truly thinks I’m a selfish person and she’s completely innocent. It’s gutting.