Woman smelly chest
InspectorsHell
2019.11.26 00:46 DMAS1638 InspectorsHell
This is a community for home inspectors, contractors handymen and woman or DIY builders to share the horrific discoveries found during project development, home inspections or general construction. Whether it’s a hidden treasure chest found under a home or a 2000-year-old heart stuck in a glass bottle, we want you to share it to the world. This is a SFW community.
2023.03.23 15:41 appleturtle90 sleevestretchers
2017.12.29 02:25 PM_PAINTED_GUY_TOES Male Crossdressers, Femboys & Femguys Who Happen to Like Women (Closed)
Given the increasing amount of NSFW spam and other careless rulebreaking despite clear guidelines, this subreddit will no longer be open to the public and all posting will be disabled permanently. Closed.
2024.05.19 17:06 GreenAct7 can herpes only appear in the urethra? HELP!
so around last year(December 2023) i had an unprotected sexual encounter with a woman,who i assumed at the moment was clean but a few days after the sexual when i woke up one morning i noticed a very sharp stinging pain on the underside of my penis and immediately went to the bathroom to see what was going on I noticed a very pronounce bump that was filled with pus when i squeezed it (not a smart idea i know)and then it suddenly bled as well. so i treated it as best i could thinking that it was caused by the genital hair shaving i did a few days prior.
mainly because i heard stories of ingrown hairs causing things like this to happen it wasn't until a few days later that i developed other symptoms such as tightness in the chest,bloodshot eyes,chills,fever,headache burning and itching in the genital area and strep throat at this point i was pretty worried and did some research on all of my symptoms which primarily lead back to herpes every time so i tried to make an appointment with my local clinic as soon as possible which was pretty hard since it was very close to new years and a lot of places were closed.
it also didn't help that after that my city was hit with a snow storm so i had to wait even longer before i could get medical help but when i finally did get medical attention it was at a local planned parenthood where i got a blood test done and the result's came back that i had genital hsv1 which was an extreme blow to my mental health but i would soon find out that those blood test aren't always reliable for herpes and that swabbing was preferable.
but by that point in time most of my symptoms where dissipating besides a constant burning sensation in my urethra which still persist even now so i made up to five appointments with my main doctors clinic and told them everything and even had then test me for herpes twice each time was a blood test since i didn't have anything noticeable to swab and the test came back negative twice despite my positive test status a few month ago.
so now I'm left stumped as to what's happening to me can herpes sores only appear internally in the urethra or is this some other type of infection what do you think?
submitted by GreenAct7 to HerpesQuestions [link] [comments]
mainly because i heard stories of ingrown hairs causing things like this to happen it wasn't until a few days later that i developed other symptoms such as tightness in the chest,bloodshot eyes,chills,fever,headache burning and itching in the genital area and strep throat at this point i was pretty worried and did some research on all of my symptoms which primarily lead back to herpes every time so i tried to make an appointment with my local clinic as soon as possible which was pretty hard since it was very close to new years and a lot of places were closed.
it also didn't help that after that my city was hit with a snow storm so i had to wait even longer before i could get medical help but when i finally did get medical attention it was at a local planned parenthood where i got a blood test done and the result's came back that i had genital hsv1 which was an extreme blow to my mental health but i would soon find out that those blood test aren't always reliable for herpes and that swabbing was preferable.
but by that point in time most of my symptoms where dissipating besides a constant burning sensation in my urethra which still persist even now so i made up to five appointments with my main doctors clinic and told them everything and even had then test me for herpes twice each time was a blood test since i didn't have anything noticeable to swab and the test came back negative twice despite my positive test status a few month ago.
so now I'm left stumped as to what's happening to me can herpes sores only appear internally in the urethra or is this some other type of infection what do you think?
2024.05.19 17:05 Maximum_Wait1273 How I would change Dunki (copypasta from my post in r/bollywood)
I enjoyed Dunki, but it wasn't as great as a RKH film with SRK as the lead that talks about illegal immigration should have been. I am not a better writer than RKH, Abhijaat Joshi or Kanika Dhillon. This is just for fun. Here we go:
ACT 1:
We open the film with a large group of people protesting in front of the UK embassy in India. Cops show up to remove the crowd. The protestors start running away and chaos ensues. We see an old man, running, clutching his chest, sweating. He regains his composure and the man is revealed to be SRK. He gets arrested by the cops and we cut to him sitting in an interrogation chamber. A woman enters, adresses SRK as Mr. Dhillon and introduces herself as Priya Varma. She says she has been appointed by the Indian government and the UK embassy to talk to him. They share some fun banter and then, Mr. Dhillon starts explaining his story.
Back in 1995, in the small village of Laltu, Punjab, lived Hardayal Singh Dhillon aka Hardy. In a short funny sequence, we learn that- He was an outsider in the village. He was in the army, but due to his cowardice causing 7 other soldiers to get gravely injured, he was expelled. Without any money, he showed up to the village of Laltu, a place where there is great respect for the army. He paints himself as a war hero in front of the villagers, and as a result, he is treated like a celebrity. Free food, free lodging, you name it. Eventually, he got exposed by some villagers. To stop matters from getting worse, Hardy sweeps this matter under the rug by using the obsession of the villagers to get to foreign countries to his advantage. He tells them that he will start an IELTS coaching centre in the village and help everyone get visas.
After this sequence ends, we cut to the characters of Manu, Sukhi, Buggu and Balli. We see their everyday struggles and how they desperately want to get to London. We also establish how they dislike their country and living in it. We see them join the IELTS classes, where Hardy and his assistant, Geetu, teach English to students. Some comedic sequences will take place here and it will get established that Hardy and Geetu just want to earn money and don't actually care about the students. Also, we see that Hardy hates living in India and wants to go abroad too. He capitalises on his students' hate towards their country by making them appear for IELTS to get a visa.
Eventually, the day of the exam comes and like the movie, we see a sequence here that is both comedic and emotional. The results come and just like the film, Balli passes whereas the others fail. As Balli is departing, Hardy and Geetu arrive to shoot a promotional video. Here, they get confronted by Sukhi, Buggu and Manu, who tell them that they don't care about the students and just started this as a hustle to earn money and save Hardy's reputation in the village. The sequence ends with Sukhi slapping Hardy, causing the latter to leave, dejected.
Manu and the other two decide that they will take the Dunki route to get to London, because they cannot die in this stupid village. Hardy arrives and decides to help them by not only giving them the necessary money, but also deciding to accompany them. The gang is skeptical, but agree to accept his help.
The next day, they go to meet an agent who will send them on the journey. Here, we get a comedic sequence where the agent tries to paint the whole journey as some kind of tourist activity and also tries to sell them packages. Hardy sees through all of this and tells the others that as a former crook himself, he understands the agent's tactics. However, left without any choice, they decide to go ahead, as none of them want to "rot in India."
END OF ACT 1
submitted by Maximum_Wait1273 to ShahRukhKhan [link] [comments]
ACT 1:
We open the film with a large group of people protesting in front of the UK embassy in India. Cops show up to remove the crowd. The protestors start running away and chaos ensues. We see an old man, running, clutching his chest, sweating. He regains his composure and the man is revealed to be SRK. He gets arrested by the cops and we cut to him sitting in an interrogation chamber. A woman enters, adresses SRK as Mr. Dhillon and introduces herself as Priya Varma. She says she has been appointed by the Indian government and the UK embassy to talk to him. They share some fun banter and then, Mr. Dhillon starts explaining his story.
Back in 1995, in the small village of Laltu, Punjab, lived Hardayal Singh Dhillon aka Hardy. In a short funny sequence, we learn that- He was an outsider in the village. He was in the army, but due to his cowardice causing 7 other soldiers to get gravely injured, he was expelled. Without any money, he showed up to the village of Laltu, a place where there is great respect for the army. He paints himself as a war hero in front of the villagers, and as a result, he is treated like a celebrity. Free food, free lodging, you name it. Eventually, he got exposed by some villagers. To stop matters from getting worse, Hardy sweeps this matter under the rug by using the obsession of the villagers to get to foreign countries to his advantage. He tells them that he will start an IELTS coaching centre in the village and help everyone get visas.
After this sequence ends, we cut to the characters of Manu, Sukhi, Buggu and Balli. We see their everyday struggles and how they desperately want to get to London. We also establish how they dislike their country and living in it. We see them join the IELTS classes, where Hardy and his assistant, Geetu, teach English to students. Some comedic sequences will take place here and it will get established that Hardy and Geetu just want to earn money and don't actually care about the students. Also, we see that Hardy hates living in India and wants to go abroad too. He capitalises on his students' hate towards their country by making them appear for IELTS to get a visa.
Eventually, the day of the exam comes and like the movie, we see a sequence here that is both comedic and emotional. The results come and just like the film, Balli passes whereas the others fail. As Balli is departing, Hardy and Geetu arrive to shoot a promotional video. Here, they get confronted by Sukhi, Buggu and Manu, who tell them that they don't care about the students and just started this as a hustle to earn money and save Hardy's reputation in the village. The sequence ends with Sukhi slapping Hardy, causing the latter to leave, dejected.
Manu and the other two decide that they will take the Dunki route to get to London, because they cannot die in this stupid village. Hardy arrives and decides to help them by not only giving them the necessary money, but also deciding to accompany them. The gang is skeptical, but agree to accept his help.
The next day, they go to meet an agent who will send them on the journey. Here, we get a comedic sequence where the agent tries to paint the whole journey as some kind of tourist activity and also tries to sell them packages. Hardy sees through all of this and tells the others that as a former crook himself, he understands the agent's tactics. However, left without any choice, they decide to go ahead, as none of them want to "rot in India."
END OF ACT 1
2024.05.19 16:43 snarlyj My failures, my roadblocks, my introduction, my hopes
This is not the witch I wish to be. Tempted early in that day with that "amphetamine paste". Figuring it would be no different from Adderall, which I'd taken for many years. But it was stronger, darker, with consequences. Should have tested my drugs. But I've Always been flighty and impulsive. Part of the reason for the Adderall in the past. A good day turned into a rough evening. The comedown perhaps? Or the consequences of doing too much in a short time span. Never had a reaction like this before. Should have tested my drugs. Wretched painful vomiting of every thing id eaten and drunk that day. Sour burning stomach. Deep hunger but which could not be satiated without more vomiting. I am a mess, In pain . This was not the witch I wish to be.
Bees crammed in my skull. A racket and a pressure and a pain. But it is late now. I curl up by my dog and take my CPTSD nightly meds and I pile myself in blankets.
Wake up two hours later. A dark and liminal night. The bees have departed and taken their pain with them, though a sharp ringing persists through my skull. Loud but not painful. My stomach still rolls.
I need to empty my bladder. I stand up and begin the careful walk. I wake up on the floor between the couch and kitchen. A sore spot on the back of my head. But not too sore. I must have caught myself as I was fainting, or crumpled rather than fallen. It's now light. Dawn and liminal. i aim for that bathroom again and this time am successful. I deliberate where to sleep. A bed is probably best.
I fiddle with a thin sliver of skin torn from thumb. Pull it up off out. No blood flows. This is not for a ward or an offering or a binding. This is just a scratch. Not the witch I wish to be.
I cannot remember which medications I've taken though I do need more sleep. Risk taking excess or wait to see if I slumber? I am no witch. I am an addict with a burning desire to find a purpose that pulls me away from these mistakes and dependencies.
I am a woman shattered repeatedly by the men she loved and now sure there will be no more men. A woman who feels things too strongly. A woman who has buried her traumas over and over. Until Monday. The first day of therapy in ten years. Monday we begin again the process of excavating the embers that burn with anxiety and shame and regret and the back of my throat. That stop me from taking a full breath for fear a bringing a flame to light and choking me in its smoke. Not sure I have skeletons in my closet, but I've got kindling in my esophagus.
So we will dig it up. Pull up the pieces and examine them. Then eat dirt and worms and fallen leaves til I have a healthy bed. And then I will fill my chest and stomach with flowers and magic and light. And I will be I've step closer to being the witch I want to be.
I'm coming to join you. My path is unstable. It may be I that is unstable. But I do understand life, what it's supposed to taste like. Who and what is dulling it and attempting to deny it to those of us that recognize it's power.
And so I suppose I announce my arrival. Or my pilgrimage. I stand at your entryway I declare who I will come to be. I hope this is the place for me. At the least it will be a place of resting and learning for a woman whose feet and back and soul need rest and rejuvenation.
My name comes from Gwenhwyfar, the white witch. But you can call me Jennie. I seek your embrace.
submitted by snarlyj to WitchesVsPatriarchy [link] [comments]
Bees crammed in my skull. A racket and a pressure and a pain. But it is late now. I curl up by my dog and take my CPTSD nightly meds and I pile myself in blankets.
Wake up two hours later. A dark and liminal night. The bees have departed and taken their pain with them, though a sharp ringing persists through my skull. Loud but not painful. My stomach still rolls.
I need to empty my bladder. I stand up and begin the careful walk. I wake up on the floor between the couch and kitchen. A sore spot on the back of my head. But not too sore. I must have caught myself as I was fainting, or crumpled rather than fallen. It's now light. Dawn and liminal. i aim for that bathroom again and this time am successful. I deliberate where to sleep. A bed is probably best.
I fiddle with a thin sliver of skin torn from thumb. Pull it up off out. No blood flows. This is not for a ward or an offering or a binding. This is just a scratch. Not the witch I wish to be.
I cannot remember which medications I've taken though I do need more sleep. Risk taking excess or wait to see if I slumber? I am no witch. I am an addict with a burning desire to find a purpose that pulls me away from these mistakes and dependencies.
I am a woman shattered repeatedly by the men she loved and now sure there will be no more men. A woman who feels things too strongly. A woman who has buried her traumas over and over. Until Monday. The first day of therapy in ten years. Monday we begin again the process of excavating the embers that burn with anxiety and shame and regret and the back of my throat. That stop me from taking a full breath for fear a bringing a flame to light and choking me in its smoke. Not sure I have skeletons in my closet, but I've got kindling in my esophagus.
So we will dig it up. Pull up the pieces and examine them. Then eat dirt and worms and fallen leaves til I have a healthy bed. And then I will fill my chest and stomach with flowers and magic and light. And I will be I've step closer to being the witch I want to be.
I'm coming to join you. My path is unstable. It may be I that is unstable. But I do understand life, what it's supposed to taste like. Who and what is dulling it and attempting to deny it to those of us that recognize it's power.
And so I suppose I announce my arrival. Or my pilgrimage. I stand at your entryway I declare who I will come to be. I hope this is the place for me. At the least it will be a place of resting and learning for a woman whose feet and back and soul need rest and rejuvenation.
My name comes from Gwenhwyfar, the white witch. But you can call me Jennie. I seek your embrace.
2024.05.19 16:38 Top-Let-1199 Is my mother a narcissistic?
Sorry ,English is not my first language.So for context , me (16F) and my mother we don't have the bests of relationship and since I've hit puberty, I've come to notice that my mother treats me differently than my brothers (22M and 25M ). She always blames me for her wrong decision, for every fight in our household. She always says that I'll never be like her (not that I want to be) , she always says that my brothers are her favourite because they do everything for her which is not true. In the priority list of my mother my brothers come first and I'm the last which is fine and I'm used to it but when i see the blatant favouritism i just can't help but call her out on it and she always denies it . I remember when i was in 4th grade and was developing, she told me to put hot tortilla's on my chest so my breast would flatten down (idk if it was true or not but it was ridiculous to say the least) and when i got my period she wasn't home at that time and i was 11 so when she came back she noticed red stains on my skirt and handed me a pad without any explanation and when i asked her what it is she said " Haven't you seen the ad" . She never told me about womenhood or femminity instead she was repulsed by it even though she is a woman too. She would warn me not to touch her when i was on my period and when I'd get seriously bad cramps she'd say "it happens" but not when it's her's. She used to disappear for month's saying she didn't wanted to live with us but when she came back all the sadness would also come back . She thinks everyone is talking about her behind her back and she blames me for it and goes on to give me a silent treatment which only she can break ( like when she FEELS like talking) . She makes me spy on my brother to listen if and what is he talking about her and report back to her and that kinda creates issues with me and my oldest brother. She always forcefully includes me in her n my father's fights and when i say something she goes on to blame me for her fights and everything she's ever done . She regularly makes vile comments about my body ( I'm kinda chubby) and proceeds to compare me to herself. She kinda thinks that I'm fighting for my father's affection with her so she humiliates me in front of my father because it's 'Funny'. Her moods changes every second, she screams at me whenever she wants , she'll say anything she wants to and i can't say anything or the fight would escalate. I'm so tired TBH and i have thoughts of killing myself just to get out of this house. She's never had a professional diagnosis so I'm not sure what is wrong with her . Is she really a narcissistic?
submitted by Top-Let-1199 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 16:26 AndhisNeutralspecial Respect Caddicarus
CADDY
Scaling: [Spons RT]() [Scott Wozniak RT]()STRENGH
- Hangs himself out of spite for the Kinect (Kinect games)
- Uses a golf cart as a club (goofy funhouse)
- Throws his kid out of a window (crash 4 scene)
- Breaks a door (crash 4 scene)
- One shots Momo (haloween)
- Launches a Crash Bandicoot plushie through his roof, which then turns into a another crash plushie (crash merch)
- Pushes a transition screen away (?)
- Throws a phone, breaking it (bootleg)
- Throws a PS1 accessory across the world (ps1 accessories)
- Blows up an old phone (portable crash games)
- Breaks boxes with Crash Bandicoot (bandicoot month)
- Jumps to heaven (I'm bitter)
PUNCHING
- Punches the narrator hard enough to break a camera
- Punches Olly in the face
- Punches himself in the no-no's, causing agrippa to come out his mouth
DURABILITY
- Gets melted by the sun
- Survives in space
- Can survive without his head
- Survives after Spons rips through his chest
- Hammers a screwdriver into his ear
- As he is consistently in the Scott the Woz universe, to the point Caddy talks to him from the window of his house, Scott caused the universe to collapse which Caddy survived, since he's in the universe
- Gets flattened by the bricks
- Gets eaten by a crocodile
- Flies out the living room on a skateboard
- Falls off a roof
- Gets ran over
- Stabs himself, however he is hurt by this
- Goes inside toxic waste
- Covers himself in gasoline, and lights himself on fire off screen
- Fine after the sun spits a game at him
- Gets squished by Daddy Pig
- Impales himself with a sword
- Gets his eyes eaten
- Bleeds out his eyes
- Survives getting shot in the head
- Breaks his spine
- Gets inhaled by a Playstation
- Falls onto a couch hard enough to shake a room
GETTING SHOT
- Incapable of killing himself, blowing his his head off with a shotgun
- Fine after shooting himself in the cock
- Survives being shot in the head by a box of Rice Krispies
- Shoots himself in the head (skateboard)
TRANSMUTATION RESISTANCE
- Comes back after being turned into metal
- Gets tubacolosis and literally turns into a tuba.
- Gets turned into a youtooz vinyl figure
BLUNT FORCE ANG GETTING PUNCHED
- Takes a kick from Goku, however it's debatable if he's the actual one.
- Takes a hit from a giant hammer
- Knocked out by a baseball bat
- Gets punched by Big the Cat hard enough to swat away the entire screen
SPEED
- Surprises Scott the Woz
- Flies into a holiday inn, blowing it up
- Flies into space
- Dodges a sword swing
- Duplicates himself to catch a disc thrown by himself, in his mouth
- Runs fast enough to create after-images
- Turns into a rocket
- Takes a bouns round platform to America
- Jumpscares you (halloween)
- Dodges bullets from Spy Caddy
EXPLOSIONS
- Survives an explosion that kills Crash Bandicoot
- Survives this random explosion
- Gets nuked
- Survives a car being launched at him, creating an explosion
- Ok after his head blows up
- Gets his head blown off, launched onto a breakout paddle, then back onto his body
- Survives an explosion caused by a ps5 that fills a room
- Has a bunch of Crash Bandicoot merchandise fall from space, onto him
- Survives an unexpected explosion #ABILITIES
- Can turn a Cartridge into a PS1 game
- Kills a woman by mentioning the fifth element game
- Can use the force
- Can use the force lightning
- Can summon things by simply mentioning them
- Reverses pouring Pepsi in a cup
- Turns into the sun
- Toxic tunnels made him so toxic that people who came near him died
- Gives life to a teddy bear
- Can respawn at his house if he dies or gets KO'd
- Can stretch his neck
- whatever the duck this is (halloween special start)
- Can teleport
- Can multiply himself
- Can just say bad things to make them happen
TELEPORTATION
- Uses his "Bitch powers" to teleport
- Teleports to catch a game in his mouth
SIZE MANIPULATION
- Seemingly becomes this big (poster)
- Shrinks to a mini size to demonstrate a Crash TNT crate light
STUFF
- Pulls out a baseball bat, which he hits his cousin Mug with
- Has a lightsaber
- gun.
- A wand that's capable of blowing people up
- a mini TNT crate, which he throws at Olly
- Has a gun which evolves people
- Has robot feet, which he uses to kick his children
- Has a dragon (with no practical use whatsoever apart from flying, which he can already do.) (httyd segment)
- Bouns platform, which as mentioned before can go to places like america in seconds. For context, Caddy is in the UK
- Big thruster- A rocket that's shaped like a cock
- Oujia board
- Presumably wears groin guard
- Can be protected by his PS1 memory card, which catches him after he falls from a plane
- Ready access to nuclear weapons (eyetoy)
- A knife, which he uses to threaten Matt rose (eyetoy)
SLAUGHTERER
- Can remove memories
- Functions as a normal gun
INTELLIGENCE
- Could get away with treason
- Hacks into Brutalmoose's laptop
- Knows where you live. This not a joke. Hide. Now.
- Replaces his own spine
- Is a Spy in his spare time
OTHER
- [Salvages the computer screen](The creepy doll)
- [Freezes time, however he might not be immune](commercials)
- [Teleports to his couch in a flash of lightning, since he's wearing new clothes, this may be time travel](commercials)
- Used to have 540 thousand teeth.
- Interacts with his past self, presumably kills him off screen
- Drinks a game
- Flies through a chimney using balloons (UP game)
- Makes his eyes come off his face
- Can jump unreasonably high (bad ps4 store games)
- Creates fire using the coronation street game
- Removes the text from a magazine (psq magazines)
- Turns a cartridge into a disc
- Has eyes on the back of his head
- His mum stopped a freight train by frowning at it
- Can lay an egg containing Spons, however this can only happen once a month
- Turns into the "Jim Nebula"
WEAKNESSES
- Is shit at riding hoverboards
- Has chronic heart pain sometimes.
- Has a drinking problem
- Suicidal
- Needs pills so he doesn't murder you
2024.05.19 15:54 MendUrways Summer time shirt related blues
Every summer the sun comes out and the dudes take off their shirts. And I can't leave my house because I'm reminded that I can't do that in front of anyone. I couldn't even change in front of the other girls in the locker room in gym class, I'd feel obscene.
As a historian, I'm keenly aware men used to only go topless in homo-social situations where it was just men. About 100 years ago men fought for the right to go topless in public beaches, sharing space with women and children. The reason swimsuits were unisex was because 100 some years ago in America obscenity laws were equal for everyone.
Women have spent the past 100 odd years fighting to breast feed in the same spaces men can go shirtless, or anywhere people eat (like restaurants); it was in effort to stop feeding babies in public toilet stalls. Makes sense. Only the so-called female nipple has a practical function to be exposed.
Obscenity laws for our "bottom parts" make sense since they function in private and ought to function in private, whether to evacuate urine/feces or for sexual relations. It is precisely because of these functions the "genitalia" are banned and considered nudity.
Now, if women want to beat the heat, they better work out that booty because swimwear is about showing off the backside cheeks. However, I guess I grew up being told to cover my butt up, so that's not an option I'd do in public. I don't want people staring at my butt.
Meanwhile, even I'm wearing a tight so-called female swimsuit top it shows off the entire shape of my chest leaving nothing to the imagination the dudes walk around topless without the extra layer of spandex-y type material that is really trapping heat and annoying. Sure, should be moisture wicking and stuff, but women's swimwear seems to trap in the heat. Padding is like wearing little miniature winter coats on my chest, on each "boob," which for me draws attention to that area in more ways being topless would not... Does this make sense?
I'm supposed to show off the shape of my breasts while keeping them covered. I'm supposed to wear itty bitty triangles over them and prevent "nip slips"... let alone I'm expected to shave before I go out in public in these skimpy swimsuits which leave nothing to the imagination.
Men, however, get to throw on baggy shorts and they're ready to go. The prep time is nil. Unless he's in speedos no one is seeing the literal shape of his nether regions. I have supposedly no choice unless I put on even more layers. Shorts and shirts, sweltering in the heat, surrounded by topless dudes who I never gave my consent to frolic around me topless.
Used to be I advocated for equal rights and women going topless but now I just think men should cover up. The conservatives are using their children (girls mostly) to protest seeing a topless "boy" (actually trans) in the locker room. Apparently all this time unbeknownst to me girls don't want to see that. But at the pool, beach, playground, park, street, backyard, frontyard, etc, it's unavoidable. It's totally legal. Males can expose themselves outside the locker room all they want.
When do we accept this as... acceptable public behavior? We know it's nudity, but we must pretend not to notice it. Females are not covered up for having breasts, it's for having nipples. Well last time I checked, dudes have nipples. So that's a double standard.
Sure, this comes down to some primal jealousy I have but for all my life I can't enjoy the summer air the same way. I feel defective, not sexy, and why would I want to feel "sexy" in front of the public of all ages? Why should we say it's cool if men go topless because some of them are sexy, this is a family beach. We say we don't want groomers and pedoPh!les around our kids, who are mostly men let's face it, but we allow strangers to walk around our children topless and think it's OK.
If some topless dude sent your young teen a photo of himself topless, he's not being obscene? It's not nudity? I'd say lock that creep out, because if a woman did the same thing she'd be in prison.
It's rude and most dudes I ever met who go topless around kids/women are usually very narcissist and want that power over others. A sort of Look what I can Do but you Can't.... in addition I'm 42 so starting to have those hot flashes. It's impractical for me to wear more clothing but I'm basically indecent all over, from the bottom to the top. It depresses me so much, always has.
Wearing a sundress to air myself out is not helping plus dictating if only I changed what I wore I'd feel less hot in the sunshine. Put the dudes in sundresses too then. See how they like it.
We should all wear wetsuits. This inequitable definition of what is nudity has only resulted in over a century of men feeling superior for the most overlooked reasons --- they can mow the lawn half naked, they can walk down the street half naked, and no one will tell them what to do. The only places practicing good reason are the No shirts No service shopping centers. We should go back to decency laws, that apply to everyone equally. If men want to be topless, go back to the bathhouses where it was acceptable before and usually almost always places for gay men to frequent to "see topless dudes" DUH...
If nobody wants to see me topless, then understand this--- I don't want to see your dads and sons topless around me. Cover up. Show some respect to women/girls. It is at least disrespectful to flaunt and exercise this law around girls/women--- it is at worst abusive and done without remorse. "I don't care about your comfort, only my own".... it teaches misogyny.
But it's "too hot for a shirt!" Stop it. Apparently it's never been hot for me, I must run cold blooded...
End rant.
submitted by MendUrways to u/MendUrways [link] [comments]
As a historian, I'm keenly aware men used to only go topless in homo-social situations where it was just men. About 100 years ago men fought for the right to go topless in public beaches, sharing space with women and children. The reason swimsuits were unisex was because 100 some years ago in America obscenity laws were equal for everyone.
Women have spent the past 100 odd years fighting to breast feed in the same spaces men can go shirtless, or anywhere people eat (like restaurants); it was in effort to stop feeding babies in public toilet stalls. Makes sense. Only the so-called female nipple has a practical function to be exposed.
Obscenity laws for our "bottom parts" make sense since they function in private and ought to function in private, whether to evacuate urine/feces or for sexual relations. It is precisely because of these functions the "genitalia" are banned and considered nudity.
Now, if women want to beat the heat, they better work out that booty because swimwear is about showing off the backside cheeks. However, I guess I grew up being told to cover my butt up, so that's not an option I'd do in public. I don't want people staring at my butt.
Meanwhile, even I'm wearing a tight so-called female swimsuit top it shows off the entire shape of my chest leaving nothing to the imagination the dudes walk around topless without the extra layer of spandex-y type material that is really trapping heat and annoying. Sure, should be moisture wicking and stuff, but women's swimwear seems to trap in the heat. Padding is like wearing little miniature winter coats on my chest, on each "boob," which for me draws attention to that area in more ways being topless would not... Does this make sense?
I'm supposed to show off the shape of my breasts while keeping them covered. I'm supposed to wear itty bitty triangles over them and prevent "nip slips"... let alone I'm expected to shave before I go out in public in these skimpy swimsuits which leave nothing to the imagination.
Men, however, get to throw on baggy shorts and they're ready to go. The prep time is nil. Unless he's in speedos no one is seeing the literal shape of his nether regions. I have supposedly no choice unless I put on even more layers. Shorts and shirts, sweltering in the heat, surrounded by topless dudes who I never gave my consent to frolic around me topless.
Used to be I advocated for equal rights and women going topless but now I just think men should cover up. The conservatives are using their children (girls mostly) to protest seeing a topless "boy" (actually trans) in the locker room. Apparently all this time unbeknownst to me girls don't want to see that. But at the pool, beach, playground, park, street, backyard, frontyard, etc, it's unavoidable. It's totally legal. Males can expose themselves outside the locker room all they want.
When do we accept this as... acceptable public behavior? We know it's nudity, but we must pretend not to notice it. Females are not covered up for having breasts, it's for having nipples. Well last time I checked, dudes have nipples. So that's a double standard.
Sure, this comes down to some primal jealousy I have but for all my life I can't enjoy the summer air the same way. I feel defective, not sexy, and why would I want to feel "sexy" in front of the public of all ages? Why should we say it's cool if men go topless because some of them are sexy, this is a family beach. We say we don't want groomers and pedoPh!les around our kids, who are mostly men let's face it, but we allow strangers to walk around our children topless and think it's OK.
If some topless dude sent your young teen a photo of himself topless, he's not being obscene? It's not nudity? I'd say lock that creep out, because if a woman did the same thing she'd be in prison.
It's rude and most dudes I ever met who go topless around kids/women are usually very narcissist and want that power over others. A sort of Look what I can Do but you Can't.... in addition I'm 42 so starting to have those hot flashes. It's impractical for me to wear more clothing but I'm basically indecent all over, from the bottom to the top. It depresses me so much, always has.
Wearing a sundress to air myself out is not helping plus dictating if only I changed what I wore I'd feel less hot in the sunshine. Put the dudes in sundresses too then. See how they like it.
We should all wear wetsuits. This inequitable definition of what is nudity has only resulted in over a century of men feeling superior for the most overlooked reasons --- they can mow the lawn half naked, they can walk down the street half naked, and no one will tell them what to do. The only places practicing good reason are the No shirts No service shopping centers. We should go back to decency laws, that apply to everyone equally. If men want to be topless, go back to the bathhouses where it was acceptable before and usually almost always places for gay men to frequent to "see topless dudes" DUH...
If nobody wants to see me topless, then understand this--- I don't want to see your dads and sons topless around me. Cover up. Show some respect to women/girls. It is at least disrespectful to flaunt and exercise this law around girls/women--- it is at worst abusive and done without remorse. "I don't care about your comfort, only my own".... it teaches misogyny.
But it's "too hot for a shirt!" Stop it. Apparently it's never been hot for me, I must run cold blooded...
End rant.
2024.05.19 15:48 lightingnations I found my girlfriend’s secret Google account and it feels like our entire relationship was built on a lie
I met Luna on a train two years ago. I’d just escaped from a toxic relationship, so romance was the last thing on my mind, but then she sat across from me in the carriage and asked about the book I was reading. She had a copy in her bag and wanted to know if it was any good.
I'd never felt such an instant, effortless connection with anybody before. I took a chance and asked her to dinner, and by the time the waiters cleared away our desserts, I already felt comfortable being vulnerable around her. So we went on a second date. And a third. And next thing I knew, we were planning our second anniversary.
In all that time she never gave off any 'creeper' vibes. Until a few months ago, when I stayed the night over at her place...
She'd gotten up early to use the bathroom. I grabbed her laptop off the side desk so I could catch up on some work e-mails, and the incognito tab was just sitting there. My first thought was: either she's having an affair or she's got a secret fetish.
What I found instead was a Google account with a photo album called ‘Michael’s EX’. In it, there were 427 photos of my former girlfriend turned psycho stalker, Sadie. This included shots of ‘Sadie the stalker’ with her family, screenshots of her passport—the works. On Facebook, Sadie's latest post said Moving to the Philippines, and since then she’d become a social media church mouse, so how did Luna keep her under surveillance? And how did you even get PERSONAL ID from a person halfway across the globe?
Down the hall, I heard the bathroom door swing open. Quickly I closed the laptop and pretended to be asleep until Luna planted a kiss on my lips. “Wakey wakey Bugs.”
I faked a stretch. “Morning Lola."
(At school, the other kids christened me ‘Bugs’ because of my cartoonishly large front teeth; I called Luna ‘Lola’ because of her blonde bangs and heart-shaped face.)
“How about we grab a fry for breakfast?” Her smile didn’t seem genuine, more like she was wearing a mask.
“Crap. I forgot I’m doing overtime today, I’ve gotta get to work.” With that, I shot out of there faster than a bullet train to Tokyo.
Because I didn’t wanna believe the worst about someone I cared so deeply about, I didn’t contact the police (not that anybody could’ve guessed what Luna was up to) and made excuses whenever she asked to meet, delaying the decision whether to end our relationship.
At night, I couldn’t sleep. Every time a hedge rustled outside, I’d run to the window and pull back the curtain only to discover a black cat skulking around the garden. I put this down to my previous relationship leaving me with a mountain of unresolved PTSD.
Sadie the stalker also seemed normal until we moved in together. After that she started picking fights if she caught me talking to another woman, even just distant relatives or childhood friends. The screaming matches went from weekly to nightly, only ever ending when I conceded to her every wish and gave her full access to my phone and social media accounts. I literally needed to grab my clothes into a bag and run away one night, and then I started hearing noises outside my new apartment. And although I never found any evidence, I was pretty sure she’d broken in at one point because the books on my side table were suddenly out of order one day. What hurt the most was Luna knew all this and still acted the way she did.
Right as I reached my lowest point, my close friend Gertrude called and said, “The universe is telling me you could use a sympathetic ear.”
I told her the universe didn’t know the half of it.
I’d met Gertrude—aka my surrogate mother—on a flight to London. Passing over Wales the aircraft hit heavy turbulence, and the grey-haired hippie in the seat next to mine squeezed my hand so tight that my fingers turned blue. After we levelled off, she apologized and said, “So what’s calling you to London?”
“A job.”
A few glasses of wine from the service trolley later, she blurted out, “You know your aura is strikingly similar to my husbands.”
“Uhh, thanks. Where is he now?”
“Oh, he burned to death in a house fire.”
Gertrude’s eyes started welling up. To take her mind off the subject, I said, “I lied earlier. I’m going to London because I fell in love with a Londoner.” I pulled up pictures of Sadie (back in her pre-stalker days) on my phone. “We met in Italy. She looked flustered trying to read a map book so I offered to help. Next thing I knew, we were planning a trip to this place called Orvieto.”
“Michael, I need to know how this story ends. Gimme your number.”
Since then, we’d met two or three times a year.
I laid the whole mess out over pizza. It was the first time since finding the Google account I didn’t feel hidden eyes crawling all over me.
Just as I wrapped up the story, over in the corner booth, a family burst into a chorus of happy birthday. A waiter appeared carrying a chocolate cake, capped by a giant candle that looked more like a flare. Gertrude tensed up.
“So what do you think about all this?” I asked.
She looked back at me and said, “It’s possible your reaction has been a touch on the dramatic side.”
“DRAMATIC??”
“Well consider things from Luna’s point of view. Your last relationship lasted for, what, three years? Maybe she felt threatened.”
“I don’t believe this.” I grabbed a cigarette from my pocket, but Gertrude snatched it away.
“You know how I feel about you poisoning your lungs, Michael.”
“Don’t you start. I got enough of that crap from Luna.”
Gertrude always encouraged me to work through my romantic problems. Ultimately, I decided her love of fairytale romances clouded her judgement and ghosted Luna instead. But I couldn’t escape her shadow. She always felt close. In fact, it got so bad that at a friend’s costume party several weeks later, my eyes kept compulsively scanning the crowd as if she was there in disguise, ready to pounce.
I stood off to the corner until, over the sea of heads, I spotted a beautiful stranger dressed as Jarlath the Goblin King. I took a shot of liquid courage and made a B-line towards her.
Halfway across the crowded room, beer splashed across the front of my Ziggy Stardust outfit.
“I am so sorry,” a female pirate said, patting me dry.
“Don’t worry about it.” Every time I tried circling her, she moved to cut me off.
“I am such a klutz. Why don’t you come into the kitchen so I can clean up this mess?”
I put my hands on her shoulders and steered her out of the way. “It’s fine. Trust me.”
Approaching Jarlath from behind, heart slamming against my chest, I said, “Well this is awkward. One of us is gonna have to change.”
Jennie had bright blue eyes and dimples impossible to miss. Ten minutes into our debate about David Bowie’s greatest album, I said, “You know Absolute Bowie are playing the Half Moon next week. I could take you?”
“Sorry. I’m going with my boyfriend,” she said with a sympathetic smile. From beside the buffet table, the pirate stared daggers in our direction.
“No worries,” I replied, despite the fact I was brimming with jealousy.
The next day, as I jogged off my hangover, a brown-haired lady cut across my path and we both went spinning to the ground.
“Flip, sorry.” I rushed to pull her up by the hands. “I’m like a bloody zombie lately.”
She did a doubletake. “Ziggy, right?”
There was no mistaking those eyes. “Jarlath?”
“Well, Jarlath or Jennie. Eithers fine.”
“Right. Well, sorry again. Enjoy Absolute Bowie.”
Before I could jog away, she said, “Hey, so that guy I was seeing? Turns out he’s a total prick.”
Jennie and I went for coffee. Coffee morphed into drinks. Drinks morphed into a steamy make-out session on my sofa.
But as she covered my neck in soft kisses, my stomach turned. It felt like cheating. So, I put the brakes on things and said, “I can’t do this. I’m really sorry. You’re amazing, but I just got out of a serious relationship…and…it’s just…”
“Hey, don’t worry about it.”
We agreed we’d let our connection blossom in its own time.
Jennie had a playful mystique to her. Within a handful of dates, we’d developed inside jokes and could tell what the other was thinking. But Luna’s imprint was hard to shake, to the extent I almost mixed up the two ladies’ names multiple times.
To detox, I suggested Jennie and I spend a romantic weekend in the Lake District, because after two days of hiking and kayaking my ex would no doubt be a spec in the rearview mirror.
Hours before we set off, however, Luna’s mom called. She wanted to meet and wouldn’t accept any excuses.
“Look, it’s obvious why I’m here,” she said, sitting across from me in Starbucks. “Ever since you and Luna broke up, she’s been acting…different.”
“Different? Different how?”
“I call but she hardly answers. I go over to her place but she’s never there. Now she’s telling me she needs to find herself. Says she’s moving to Australia.”
Her fingers tightened around her cup. “I need to know what happened between you two. And I don’t care if that paints anybody in a bad light. I’m just worried about my daughter is all.”
I told her about the Google account.
“Did you confront her about it?”
“Hell no. I ghosted that crazy bitc—” I cleared my throat. “I mean, I just…stopped seeing her.”
She started crying so loudly customers at nearby tables paused their conversations. I touched her forearm, promised I’d call if I remembered anything else, then set off for my romantic weekend.
But while Jennie and I enjoyed all that fresh air and pub food, a thought nagged at me. Luna adored London, so why move to Australia? It seemed so out of character. Back at our rented cottage, I was so fixated on the thought I needed a smoke, badly.
“What the hell is that?” Jennie demanded, as she stepped onto the front deck.
I glanced at my hands. “Uhh, a cigarette.”
“Michael! Don’t be sarcastic. You know how I feel about those things.”
“…Do I?”
“Uhh, well it’s the same as anybody else. Quit poisoning your lungs and put that thing out.”
“Alright alright, geeze. Sorry Luna.”
“That’s okay.”
A knot formed in my stomach as she went back inside. I’d called Jennie Luna by mistake. And she hadn’t noticed. In fact, her reaction to me smoking was identical to Luna’s—even the snappy way she said the ‘poison your lungs’ line.
I followed Jennie into the lounge, where she’d curled up on an armchair with a Colleen Hoover novel. She was hiding something. What else did she know about Luna? Maybe I could trick her into revealing some details…
From behind, I started massaging her shoulders. “Sorry for being rude before. I know what you said came from a place of love.”
“That’s okay.”
I waited until her eyes drooped shut, then said, “It really is perfect here, huh? Maybe we should stay forever.”
“Wouldn’t that be amazing?”
Her little groans of pleasure, the rhythm of her breathing, it all felt so familiar. I waited until the tension in her neck dissolved, then I pushed my lips against her ear and whispered, “So how about we take this into the bedroom…Lola.”
“Hmm. Sure thing Bugs.”
My hands froze. Jennie jumped up. “Uhh, that felt so good, why’d you stop?”
“What did you just say?”
“What did you just say?”
“I called you Lola,” I replied, my arms frozen in midair. “And you called me bugs.”
“Like the cartoon, right? I thought it’d be a cute nickname. Anyway, I’m tuckered out.” She forced a yawn. “Why don’t we get some sleep?”
As her hand laced with mine, an image of me waking up drugged and gagged and tied to the bedposts flashed before my eyes.
I said, “Sure. I just…need to use the bathroom first.”
The second the door shut behind me, I flew out of the house, climbed in my car, and sped away.
Within seconds my phone started blowing up with calls, followed by texts. Where are you going? Is everything okay?
No, I wanted to reply. I’m onto your sick little game. Whatever it is, I’m onto it.
Luna stalked my stalker, now Jennie somehow knew Luna and I’s nicknames. How? Did all women take turns drawing straws and whoever picked the short one needed to become my girlfriend?
I couldn’t go home. For all I knew, my exes would’ve been there burning effigies of me. I needed a safe place. Somewhere I could lie low until I got all this straightened out.
“Of course you can stay,” Gertrude said over the phone. “I’m out with some friends, but I’ll meet you later. If you hop the side gate there’s a spare key under the kissing gnomes out back.”
Gertrude lived in a detached house in Wembley. It took a bit of foraging to find the gnomes hidden beneath the weeds in the brown, patchy garden.
I needed to shoulder the door open. Inside, a mountain of letters and flyers had piled up on the welcome mat.
Down the hall, a huge archway connected the landing with a lounge, where a bar sat against the far wall, surrounded by upholstered sofas, a low table, and tie dye sheets strung over the filthy carpet. Everything had a real elegant vibe, despite the musty air.
I’d drained two glasses of whiskey before Gertrude arrived.
“Looks like you’ve had a rough evening.”
I said we could talk in the morning.
“Not a chance. You can’t take negative energy to bed. Come on, confession is good for the soul.”
She sat on the sofa and patted the empty seat next to her. So, with a weary sigh, I shared a tale of deranged exes.
“Crazy,” she said.
“I sure can pick ‘em, huh?”
“No, I mean you’re crazy.”
“What?”
“Think about it. What’s more likely: that your ex’s are secretly in collusion, or you’re being paranoid? Look how bloodshot your eyes are. When’s the last time you got a good night’s rest?”
She made a great point; teenagers on the street occasionally shouted ‘Bugs’ or ‘Thumper’ at me. Jennie might’ve come up with the nickname herself. I pinched the bridge of my nose, groaning.
“Look, sleep here tonight. Tomorrow we’ll brainstorm ways you can make it up to Jennie.”
I fumbled through my pockets for a cigarette.
“Really?” Gertrude said. “If you insist on poisoning your lungs, can you at least do it away from my home?”
“Well if I can’t smoke, I’m gonna need a refill.” I shook my empty glass.
On my way toward the bar, a wave of wooziness hit me. My first instinct was to blame it on the alcohol, but there was something else.
It was her reaction to the cigarette. My finger ran through the thick layer of dust along the bar’s countertop. Why was it like the place had been abandoned? Why did Gertrude always pressure me to stay with my psycho girlfriends? And how come she always reached out, as if on cue, whenever my relationships hit problems? It couldn’t be coincidence…
I poured two glasses of whiskey and carried them to the sofa. “So, you’re really against the whole smoking thing, huh?”
“Of course. It’s a filthy habit.”
“Yeah. Plus, there was that mess with your husband. House fire, right?”
“I’d rather not discuss it.”
“Sure, sure.” I ignited the lighter with a roll across my trouser leg.
Gertrude grabbed a cushion and hugged it. “What are you doing?”
“Alright, cut the crap. What the hell’s going on? Have you been sending your friends to date me?”
“What are you talking about?”
I wrestled the cushion from her and held the lighter beneath it. “I want an explanation right now or I’m torching this place.”
This was an empty threat. I wasn’t some pyromaniac—I just wanted answers. Inch by inch, I raised the flame. “Last chance. Why are the women in my life acting weird?”
Gertrude grabbed for the lighter. As I swatted her wrists away, we both got scorched, and for a moment her skin went wild with spasms, a sensation I can only compare to reaching inside a bucket of wet, writhing maggots. My gaze whipped between her face and her hands, which vibrated like plucked guitar strings.
Before I could scream, she yanked me up, clamped a cold, wrinkled palm across my mouth, and forced me against the wall. I thrashed around, unable to move. For a lady old enough to collect a pension, she was crazy strong.
She waited until I ran out of breath, then said, “Michael, please. I’m not going to hurt you. Open your heart and listen.”
What else could I do?
“You were right before. I have been keeping a secret from you. The truth is, I’ve been in love with you since we met. I’d never flown before. And you were so so sweet. You started talking about this other woman, but I knew our energies were perfect for each other. And it’s like I always say, love makes us do crazy things. You can’t begrudge me that can you?”
She looked as if she expected me to respond, so I shook my head.
“But I think we’ve reached a point where our connection is so deep we can be completely transparent with one another.” She took a slow, steady breath. “Michael, all your ex’s, Luna, Sadie, Jennie. They’ve all been…well, me.”
I stared at her, confused.
She sighed. “It’ll be easier if I just show you.”
Out of nowhere her hand wriggled again, then her face tightened, as though the skin was being stretched over the bone. Wrinkles smoothed out and colour bled into her grey hair, turning it brown, and within seconds I found myself face-to-face with Jennie. Even her vintage clothes morphed into a green blouse and white slacks.
“See?” she said in Jennie’s voice, her now blue eyes locked on mine.
I screamed into the soft flesh of her palm.
“Sssh, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. Watch.”
Her entire body jerked and twitched, the muscles spasming as she shifted from Jennie to Luna. “See? Think of these as costumes”—from Luna to Sadie—"the important thing is what’s underneath. And you’ve fallen in love with what’s underneath three times. Now I’m going to let go, but I need you to promise you won’t overreact. Understand?”
On the verge of a panic attack, I nodded furiously.
The second she pulled away I made a break for the exit. The thing posing as Sadie grabbed me and hurled me backwards against the wall.
Like a disappointed teacher, she put her hands on her hips. “I’ve been so patient with you, Michael. So very, very patient.”
She blocked off any hope of escape. I sidestepped around the outer edge of the room, towards the bar.
“All those years moulding you. Trying to grow you into the man I know you can be. I really thought we had it this time. For the record, I wanted to do this the easy way. But drastic times...”
I was so scared I slammed right into the cabinet and yelped. Glass bottles chattered together, and then something wet ran down the back of my shirt. It was whiskey, leaking from the overturned bottle onto the carpeted floor.
Speaking more to herself now, Gertrude said, “I’ll just have to keep you here until you love me as much as I love you. Of course, that means posing as you so nobody gets suspicious, but that’s no trouble. I’ll tell your dad you’re moving to Italy. You always loved Italy.”
Pose as me? She'd been killing my ex's and taking their place, I was just the latest in a long line. She’d keep me as a personal sugar baby if I didn’t escape, but how? She was impossibly strong, and the only thing that seemed to scare her was…
Snatching the bottle, I doused the remaining whiskey all over the carpet and furniture. As I flicked the lighter open, Sadie’s hands shot up.
“Bugs…darling…what are you doing?”
I took three slow, steady breaths. “Breaking up with you, you crazy bitch.”
I tossed the lighter forward. Within seconds flames sprung up all around us, spreading as far as the sofa. Sadie’s shoe caught fire, and as she stamped around, unintentionally fanning the blaze, her body writhed again, starting with the ankles. Fat boils climbed up every inch of exposed skin, milky white and with the consistency of frog spawn, like she’d had a killer allergic reaction to poison ivy.
She dropped to her knees, wailing like a wounded animal. This was my chance.
I made a break for the exit, giving the creature as wide a berth as possible. But as I got one foot planted in the hall something clamped tight around my ankles. My chin hit the floor, then I started sliding backwards.
I twisted onto my back. Where Sadie’s left arm should’ve been, a tentacle-like appendage stretched across the length of the room, a distance of over twenty feet. It reeled me toward her like a fish on a line. Whatever that thing was no longer looked human. It melted like an ice statue, with no bones or connective tissue inside, its lips nose and mouth becoming hideously elongated before dripping off in huge globs like melted candlewax. A fire alarm started wailing as the tentacle dragged me through the flames, scorching my arms and legs.
The loose mass of skin reached out and encased me like a mother bird sheltering its eggs.
“WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME?” all my ex’s voices screamed at once. Whichever direction I looked, silhouettes of faces rose and fell, as if trying to burst through. Parts of them dripped inside my mouth, disgustingly warm with a bitter taste worse than Vaseline.
I put everything into clawing my way out if there. What was left of the beast had the consistency of wet clay and came apart just as easily. I tore away chunks until there was a hole large enough to squeeze through. Then, I crawled along surrounded by black smoke.
At the far side of the room I risked a glance back and saw a bumpy, uneven hand reaching out of a puddle of ooze. Soon I was crawling over the bristly welcome mat, then fumbling for the door. All I remember after that are paramedics wrestling me into an ambulance…
A specialist officer came to see me at the hospital the next morning. They’d been unable to contact the homeowner, Gertrude Huyton, and through his line of questioning I could tell they hadn’t found her ‘remains’ inside the charred house. Like the wicked witch of the West, my stalker had melted. I told the officer she said I could stay the night, and that I probably started the fire by dropping a cigarette.
“In that case, we’ll keep trying to reach her.” He walked to the curtain surronding my bed and paused. “Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, her cat is missing.”
“Her...cat?”
“Yeah. The little black one. One of the firemen pulled it out of the wreckage. The poor thing had burns over its legs but it ran off before anybody could take it to the vet.”
I swallowed a gulp and thanked him for telling me.
And now I’m still sitting here listening while nurses rush back and forth, terrified any one of them might be Gertrude…
submitted by lightingnations to nosleep [link] [comments]
I'd never felt such an instant, effortless connection with anybody before. I took a chance and asked her to dinner, and by the time the waiters cleared away our desserts, I already felt comfortable being vulnerable around her. So we went on a second date. And a third. And next thing I knew, we were planning our second anniversary.
In all that time she never gave off any 'creeper' vibes. Until a few months ago, when I stayed the night over at her place...
She'd gotten up early to use the bathroom. I grabbed her laptop off the side desk so I could catch up on some work e-mails, and the incognito tab was just sitting there. My first thought was: either she's having an affair or she's got a secret fetish.
What I found instead was a Google account with a photo album called ‘Michael’s EX’. In it, there were 427 photos of my former girlfriend turned psycho stalker, Sadie. This included shots of ‘Sadie the stalker’ with her family, screenshots of her passport—the works. On Facebook, Sadie's latest post said Moving to the Philippines, and since then she’d become a social media church mouse, so how did Luna keep her under surveillance? And how did you even get PERSONAL ID from a person halfway across the globe?
Down the hall, I heard the bathroom door swing open. Quickly I closed the laptop and pretended to be asleep until Luna planted a kiss on my lips. “Wakey wakey Bugs.”
I faked a stretch. “Morning Lola."
(At school, the other kids christened me ‘Bugs’ because of my cartoonishly large front teeth; I called Luna ‘Lola’ because of her blonde bangs and heart-shaped face.)
“How about we grab a fry for breakfast?” Her smile didn’t seem genuine, more like she was wearing a mask.
“Crap. I forgot I’m doing overtime today, I’ve gotta get to work.” With that, I shot out of there faster than a bullet train to Tokyo.
Because I didn’t wanna believe the worst about someone I cared so deeply about, I didn’t contact the police (not that anybody could’ve guessed what Luna was up to) and made excuses whenever she asked to meet, delaying the decision whether to end our relationship.
At night, I couldn’t sleep. Every time a hedge rustled outside, I’d run to the window and pull back the curtain only to discover a black cat skulking around the garden. I put this down to my previous relationship leaving me with a mountain of unresolved PTSD.
Sadie the stalker also seemed normal until we moved in together. After that she started picking fights if she caught me talking to another woman, even just distant relatives or childhood friends. The screaming matches went from weekly to nightly, only ever ending when I conceded to her every wish and gave her full access to my phone and social media accounts. I literally needed to grab my clothes into a bag and run away one night, and then I started hearing noises outside my new apartment. And although I never found any evidence, I was pretty sure she’d broken in at one point because the books on my side table were suddenly out of order one day. What hurt the most was Luna knew all this and still acted the way she did.
Right as I reached my lowest point, my close friend Gertrude called and said, “The universe is telling me you could use a sympathetic ear.”
I told her the universe didn’t know the half of it.
I’d met Gertrude—aka my surrogate mother—on a flight to London. Passing over Wales the aircraft hit heavy turbulence, and the grey-haired hippie in the seat next to mine squeezed my hand so tight that my fingers turned blue. After we levelled off, she apologized and said, “So what’s calling you to London?”
“A job.”
A few glasses of wine from the service trolley later, she blurted out, “You know your aura is strikingly similar to my husbands.”
“Uhh, thanks. Where is he now?”
“Oh, he burned to death in a house fire.”
Gertrude’s eyes started welling up. To take her mind off the subject, I said, “I lied earlier. I’m going to London because I fell in love with a Londoner.” I pulled up pictures of Sadie (back in her pre-stalker days) on my phone. “We met in Italy. She looked flustered trying to read a map book so I offered to help. Next thing I knew, we were planning a trip to this place called Orvieto.”
“Michael, I need to know how this story ends. Gimme your number.”
Since then, we’d met two or three times a year.
I laid the whole mess out over pizza. It was the first time since finding the Google account I didn’t feel hidden eyes crawling all over me.
Just as I wrapped up the story, over in the corner booth, a family burst into a chorus of happy birthday. A waiter appeared carrying a chocolate cake, capped by a giant candle that looked more like a flare. Gertrude tensed up.
“So what do you think about all this?” I asked.
She looked back at me and said, “It’s possible your reaction has been a touch on the dramatic side.”
“DRAMATIC??”
“Well consider things from Luna’s point of view. Your last relationship lasted for, what, three years? Maybe she felt threatened.”
“I don’t believe this.” I grabbed a cigarette from my pocket, but Gertrude snatched it away.
“You know how I feel about you poisoning your lungs, Michael.”
“Don’t you start. I got enough of that crap from Luna.”
Gertrude always encouraged me to work through my romantic problems. Ultimately, I decided her love of fairytale romances clouded her judgement and ghosted Luna instead. But I couldn’t escape her shadow. She always felt close. In fact, it got so bad that at a friend’s costume party several weeks later, my eyes kept compulsively scanning the crowd as if she was there in disguise, ready to pounce.
I stood off to the corner until, over the sea of heads, I spotted a beautiful stranger dressed as Jarlath the Goblin King. I took a shot of liquid courage and made a B-line towards her.
Halfway across the crowded room, beer splashed across the front of my Ziggy Stardust outfit.
“I am so sorry,” a female pirate said, patting me dry.
“Don’t worry about it.” Every time I tried circling her, she moved to cut me off.
“I am such a klutz. Why don’t you come into the kitchen so I can clean up this mess?”
I put my hands on her shoulders and steered her out of the way. “It’s fine. Trust me.”
Approaching Jarlath from behind, heart slamming against my chest, I said, “Well this is awkward. One of us is gonna have to change.”
Jennie had bright blue eyes and dimples impossible to miss. Ten minutes into our debate about David Bowie’s greatest album, I said, “You know Absolute Bowie are playing the Half Moon next week. I could take you?”
“Sorry. I’m going with my boyfriend,” she said with a sympathetic smile. From beside the buffet table, the pirate stared daggers in our direction.
“No worries,” I replied, despite the fact I was brimming with jealousy.
The next day, as I jogged off my hangover, a brown-haired lady cut across my path and we both went spinning to the ground.
“Flip, sorry.” I rushed to pull her up by the hands. “I’m like a bloody zombie lately.”
She did a doubletake. “Ziggy, right?”
There was no mistaking those eyes. “Jarlath?”
“Well, Jarlath or Jennie. Eithers fine.”
“Right. Well, sorry again. Enjoy Absolute Bowie.”
Before I could jog away, she said, “Hey, so that guy I was seeing? Turns out he’s a total prick.”
Jennie and I went for coffee. Coffee morphed into drinks. Drinks morphed into a steamy make-out session on my sofa.
But as she covered my neck in soft kisses, my stomach turned. It felt like cheating. So, I put the brakes on things and said, “I can’t do this. I’m really sorry. You’re amazing, but I just got out of a serious relationship…and…it’s just…”
“Hey, don’t worry about it.”
We agreed we’d let our connection blossom in its own time.
Jennie had a playful mystique to her. Within a handful of dates, we’d developed inside jokes and could tell what the other was thinking. But Luna’s imprint was hard to shake, to the extent I almost mixed up the two ladies’ names multiple times.
To detox, I suggested Jennie and I spend a romantic weekend in the Lake District, because after two days of hiking and kayaking my ex would no doubt be a spec in the rearview mirror.
Hours before we set off, however, Luna’s mom called. She wanted to meet and wouldn’t accept any excuses.
“Look, it’s obvious why I’m here,” she said, sitting across from me in Starbucks. “Ever since you and Luna broke up, she’s been acting…different.”
“Different? Different how?”
“I call but she hardly answers. I go over to her place but she’s never there. Now she’s telling me she needs to find herself. Says she’s moving to Australia.”
Her fingers tightened around her cup. “I need to know what happened between you two. And I don’t care if that paints anybody in a bad light. I’m just worried about my daughter is all.”
I told her about the Google account.
“Did you confront her about it?”
“Hell no. I ghosted that crazy bitc—” I cleared my throat. “I mean, I just…stopped seeing her.”
She started crying so loudly customers at nearby tables paused their conversations. I touched her forearm, promised I’d call if I remembered anything else, then set off for my romantic weekend.
But while Jennie and I enjoyed all that fresh air and pub food, a thought nagged at me. Luna adored London, so why move to Australia? It seemed so out of character. Back at our rented cottage, I was so fixated on the thought I needed a smoke, badly.
“What the hell is that?” Jennie demanded, as she stepped onto the front deck.
I glanced at my hands. “Uhh, a cigarette.”
“Michael! Don’t be sarcastic. You know how I feel about those things.”
“…Do I?”
“Uhh, well it’s the same as anybody else. Quit poisoning your lungs and put that thing out.”
“Alright alright, geeze. Sorry Luna.”
“That’s okay.”
A knot formed in my stomach as she went back inside. I’d called Jennie Luna by mistake. And she hadn’t noticed. In fact, her reaction to me smoking was identical to Luna’s—even the snappy way she said the ‘poison your lungs’ line.
I followed Jennie into the lounge, where she’d curled up on an armchair with a Colleen Hoover novel. She was hiding something. What else did she know about Luna? Maybe I could trick her into revealing some details…
From behind, I started massaging her shoulders. “Sorry for being rude before. I know what you said came from a place of love.”
“That’s okay.”
I waited until her eyes drooped shut, then said, “It really is perfect here, huh? Maybe we should stay forever.”
“Wouldn’t that be amazing?”
Her little groans of pleasure, the rhythm of her breathing, it all felt so familiar. I waited until the tension in her neck dissolved, then I pushed my lips against her ear and whispered, “So how about we take this into the bedroom…Lola.”
“Hmm. Sure thing Bugs.”
My hands froze. Jennie jumped up. “Uhh, that felt so good, why’d you stop?”
“What did you just say?”
“What did you just say?”
“I called you Lola,” I replied, my arms frozen in midair. “And you called me bugs.”
“Like the cartoon, right? I thought it’d be a cute nickname. Anyway, I’m tuckered out.” She forced a yawn. “Why don’t we get some sleep?”
As her hand laced with mine, an image of me waking up drugged and gagged and tied to the bedposts flashed before my eyes.
I said, “Sure. I just…need to use the bathroom first.”
The second the door shut behind me, I flew out of the house, climbed in my car, and sped away.
Within seconds my phone started blowing up with calls, followed by texts. Where are you going? Is everything okay?
No, I wanted to reply. I’m onto your sick little game. Whatever it is, I’m onto it.
Luna stalked my stalker, now Jennie somehow knew Luna and I’s nicknames. How? Did all women take turns drawing straws and whoever picked the short one needed to become my girlfriend?
I couldn’t go home. For all I knew, my exes would’ve been there burning effigies of me. I needed a safe place. Somewhere I could lie low until I got all this straightened out.
“Of course you can stay,” Gertrude said over the phone. “I’m out with some friends, but I’ll meet you later. If you hop the side gate there’s a spare key under the kissing gnomes out back.”
Gertrude lived in a detached house in Wembley. It took a bit of foraging to find the gnomes hidden beneath the weeds in the brown, patchy garden.
I needed to shoulder the door open. Inside, a mountain of letters and flyers had piled up on the welcome mat.
Down the hall, a huge archway connected the landing with a lounge, where a bar sat against the far wall, surrounded by upholstered sofas, a low table, and tie dye sheets strung over the filthy carpet. Everything had a real elegant vibe, despite the musty air.
I’d drained two glasses of whiskey before Gertrude arrived.
“Looks like you’ve had a rough evening.”
I said we could talk in the morning.
“Not a chance. You can’t take negative energy to bed. Come on, confession is good for the soul.”
She sat on the sofa and patted the empty seat next to her. So, with a weary sigh, I shared a tale of deranged exes.
“Crazy,” she said.
“I sure can pick ‘em, huh?”
“No, I mean you’re crazy.”
“What?”
“Think about it. What’s more likely: that your ex’s are secretly in collusion, or you’re being paranoid? Look how bloodshot your eyes are. When’s the last time you got a good night’s rest?”
She made a great point; teenagers on the street occasionally shouted ‘Bugs’ or ‘Thumper’ at me. Jennie might’ve come up with the nickname herself. I pinched the bridge of my nose, groaning.
“Look, sleep here tonight. Tomorrow we’ll brainstorm ways you can make it up to Jennie.”
I fumbled through my pockets for a cigarette.
“Really?” Gertrude said. “If you insist on poisoning your lungs, can you at least do it away from my home?”
“Well if I can’t smoke, I’m gonna need a refill.” I shook my empty glass.
On my way toward the bar, a wave of wooziness hit me. My first instinct was to blame it on the alcohol, but there was something else.
It was her reaction to the cigarette. My finger ran through the thick layer of dust along the bar’s countertop. Why was it like the place had been abandoned? Why did Gertrude always pressure me to stay with my psycho girlfriends? And how come she always reached out, as if on cue, whenever my relationships hit problems? It couldn’t be coincidence…
I poured two glasses of whiskey and carried them to the sofa. “So, you’re really against the whole smoking thing, huh?”
“Of course. It’s a filthy habit.”
“Yeah. Plus, there was that mess with your husband. House fire, right?”
“I’d rather not discuss it.”
“Sure, sure.” I ignited the lighter with a roll across my trouser leg.
Gertrude grabbed a cushion and hugged it. “What are you doing?”
“Alright, cut the crap. What the hell’s going on? Have you been sending your friends to date me?”
“What are you talking about?”
I wrestled the cushion from her and held the lighter beneath it. “I want an explanation right now or I’m torching this place.”
This was an empty threat. I wasn’t some pyromaniac—I just wanted answers. Inch by inch, I raised the flame. “Last chance. Why are the women in my life acting weird?”
Gertrude grabbed for the lighter. As I swatted her wrists away, we both got scorched, and for a moment her skin went wild with spasms, a sensation I can only compare to reaching inside a bucket of wet, writhing maggots. My gaze whipped between her face and her hands, which vibrated like plucked guitar strings.
Before I could scream, she yanked me up, clamped a cold, wrinkled palm across my mouth, and forced me against the wall. I thrashed around, unable to move. For a lady old enough to collect a pension, she was crazy strong.
She waited until I ran out of breath, then said, “Michael, please. I’m not going to hurt you. Open your heart and listen.”
What else could I do?
“You were right before. I have been keeping a secret from you. The truth is, I’ve been in love with you since we met. I’d never flown before. And you were so so sweet. You started talking about this other woman, but I knew our energies were perfect for each other. And it’s like I always say, love makes us do crazy things. You can’t begrudge me that can you?”
She looked as if she expected me to respond, so I shook my head.
“But I think we’ve reached a point where our connection is so deep we can be completely transparent with one another.” She took a slow, steady breath. “Michael, all your ex’s, Luna, Sadie, Jennie. They’ve all been…well, me.”
I stared at her, confused.
She sighed. “It’ll be easier if I just show you.”
Out of nowhere her hand wriggled again, then her face tightened, as though the skin was being stretched over the bone. Wrinkles smoothed out and colour bled into her grey hair, turning it brown, and within seconds I found myself face-to-face with Jennie. Even her vintage clothes morphed into a green blouse and white slacks.
“See?” she said in Jennie’s voice, her now blue eyes locked on mine.
I screamed into the soft flesh of her palm.
“Sssh, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. Watch.”
Her entire body jerked and twitched, the muscles spasming as she shifted from Jennie to Luna. “See? Think of these as costumes”—from Luna to Sadie—"the important thing is what’s underneath. And you’ve fallen in love with what’s underneath three times. Now I’m going to let go, but I need you to promise you won’t overreact. Understand?”
On the verge of a panic attack, I nodded furiously.
The second she pulled away I made a break for the exit. The thing posing as Sadie grabbed me and hurled me backwards against the wall.
Like a disappointed teacher, she put her hands on her hips. “I’ve been so patient with you, Michael. So very, very patient.”
She blocked off any hope of escape. I sidestepped around the outer edge of the room, towards the bar.
“All those years moulding you. Trying to grow you into the man I know you can be. I really thought we had it this time. For the record, I wanted to do this the easy way. But drastic times...”
I was so scared I slammed right into the cabinet and yelped. Glass bottles chattered together, and then something wet ran down the back of my shirt. It was whiskey, leaking from the overturned bottle onto the carpeted floor.
Speaking more to herself now, Gertrude said, “I’ll just have to keep you here until you love me as much as I love you. Of course, that means posing as you so nobody gets suspicious, but that’s no trouble. I’ll tell your dad you’re moving to Italy. You always loved Italy.”
Pose as me? She'd been killing my ex's and taking their place, I was just the latest in a long line. She’d keep me as a personal sugar baby if I didn’t escape, but how? She was impossibly strong, and the only thing that seemed to scare her was…
Snatching the bottle, I doused the remaining whiskey all over the carpet and furniture. As I flicked the lighter open, Sadie’s hands shot up.
“Bugs…darling…what are you doing?”
I took three slow, steady breaths. “Breaking up with you, you crazy bitch.”
I tossed the lighter forward. Within seconds flames sprung up all around us, spreading as far as the sofa. Sadie’s shoe caught fire, and as she stamped around, unintentionally fanning the blaze, her body writhed again, starting with the ankles. Fat boils climbed up every inch of exposed skin, milky white and with the consistency of frog spawn, like she’d had a killer allergic reaction to poison ivy.
She dropped to her knees, wailing like a wounded animal. This was my chance.
I made a break for the exit, giving the creature as wide a berth as possible. But as I got one foot planted in the hall something clamped tight around my ankles. My chin hit the floor, then I started sliding backwards.
I twisted onto my back. Where Sadie’s left arm should’ve been, a tentacle-like appendage stretched across the length of the room, a distance of over twenty feet. It reeled me toward her like a fish on a line. Whatever that thing was no longer looked human. It melted like an ice statue, with no bones or connective tissue inside, its lips nose and mouth becoming hideously elongated before dripping off in huge globs like melted candlewax. A fire alarm started wailing as the tentacle dragged me through the flames, scorching my arms and legs.
The loose mass of skin reached out and encased me like a mother bird sheltering its eggs.
“WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME?” all my ex’s voices screamed at once. Whichever direction I looked, silhouettes of faces rose and fell, as if trying to burst through. Parts of them dripped inside my mouth, disgustingly warm with a bitter taste worse than Vaseline.
I put everything into clawing my way out if there. What was left of the beast had the consistency of wet clay and came apart just as easily. I tore away chunks until there was a hole large enough to squeeze through. Then, I crawled along surrounded by black smoke.
At the far side of the room I risked a glance back and saw a bumpy, uneven hand reaching out of a puddle of ooze. Soon I was crawling over the bristly welcome mat, then fumbling for the door. All I remember after that are paramedics wrestling me into an ambulance…
A specialist officer came to see me at the hospital the next morning. They’d been unable to contact the homeowner, Gertrude Huyton, and through his line of questioning I could tell they hadn’t found her ‘remains’ inside the charred house. Like the wicked witch of the West, my stalker had melted. I told the officer she said I could stay the night, and that I probably started the fire by dropping a cigarette.
“In that case, we’ll keep trying to reach her.” He walked to the curtain surronding my bed and paused. “Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, her cat is missing.”
“Her...cat?”
“Yeah. The little black one. One of the firemen pulled it out of the wreckage. The poor thing had burns over its legs but it ran off before anybody could take it to the vet.”
I swallowed a gulp and thanked him for telling me.
And now I’m still sitting here listening while nurses rush back and forth, terrified any one of them might be Gertrude…
2024.05.19 14:56 worriedaboutprotein Protein in urine for 2 years
Hi,
I have been having physical issues for almost two years now. Here is a timeline of events.
Pre Covid, I was a uni student, going to the gym every day. Weight 180 pounds.
During Covid, the gyms were locked down etc. I began working on an ice cream van because it was one of the essential services left open. You dont get much walking done in an ice cream van. My diet went down, my steps became non exustant. And I ballooned up to over 300 pounds.
At this point, i began having chest pains and urinary problems. I went to the Drs and they said my blood pressure was also high.
I began taking blood pressure tablets, but noticed still having constant cloudiness in urine.
Tests kept showing no infection, but sometimes blood was present, always protein was present.
I was reffered for 24 hours ECG and heart X ray. I was presented to this Dt as "overweight woman who had high blood pressure" No mention of urine/protein issues etc. 24 hour ECG noted tachycardia. My heart X ray was hard to see because of "Body Habitus", did a contrast one. The non contrast one noted several issues with what they could see, and wasnt able to properly visualise anything else. The contrast echo was done within 2 minutes, only scanned a bit under my breast, and then i was discharged as "perfectly" fine.
My urine problems/pains in side continued, constaly high protein every wee. Scan on kidney showed it to be enlarged in parts. I had a camera up my urethra which showed up fine. A further X ray on my kindney was done. I was released from urology with "fine", protein in urine.
I continue to suffer from chest pains, racing heart, pains in side. I get the feeling my doctors think I am hypochondriac. Every urine same they have ever taken over past two years (over 20) shows consistently high protein.
My questions are: 1) is protein in urine an issue? 2) How do i go about getting this resolved? 3) should i start a low protein diet? 4) If yes to low protein diet, should i inform the Doctors? 5?is there a way for me to get unbiased second opinion? If i wanted to go private for this, how much would it cost to get these issues looked at?
Thank you for your time.
F
42
320 pounds
Smoke 10 a day
UK
submitted by worriedaboutprotein to AskDocs [link] [comments]
I have been having physical issues for almost two years now. Here is a timeline of events.
Pre Covid, I was a uni student, going to the gym every day. Weight 180 pounds.
During Covid, the gyms were locked down etc. I began working on an ice cream van because it was one of the essential services left open. You dont get much walking done in an ice cream van. My diet went down, my steps became non exustant. And I ballooned up to over 300 pounds.
At this point, i began having chest pains and urinary problems. I went to the Drs and they said my blood pressure was also high.
I began taking blood pressure tablets, but noticed still having constant cloudiness in urine.
Tests kept showing no infection, but sometimes blood was present, always protein was present.
I was reffered for 24 hours ECG and heart X ray. I was presented to this Dt as "overweight woman who had high blood pressure" No mention of urine/protein issues etc. 24 hour ECG noted tachycardia. My heart X ray was hard to see because of "Body Habitus", did a contrast one. The non contrast one noted several issues with what they could see, and wasnt able to properly visualise anything else. The contrast echo was done within 2 minutes, only scanned a bit under my breast, and then i was discharged as "perfectly" fine.
My urine problems/pains in side continued, constaly high protein every wee. Scan on kidney showed it to be enlarged in parts. I had a camera up my urethra which showed up fine. A further X ray on my kindney was done. I was released from urology with "fine", protein in urine.
I continue to suffer from chest pains, racing heart, pains in side. I get the feeling my doctors think I am hypochondriac. Every urine same they have ever taken over past two years (over 20) shows consistently high protein.
My questions are: 1) is protein in urine an issue? 2) How do i go about getting this resolved? 3) should i start a low protein diet? 4) If yes to low protein diet, should i inform the Doctors? 5?is there a way for me to get unbiased second opinion? If i wanted to go private for this, how much would it cost to get these issues looked at?
Thank you for your time.
F
42
320 pounds
Smoke 10 a day
UK
2024.05.19 14:54 InverseFlash Respect Mui! (Undead Unluck)
Mui is the right-hand woman to Shen Xian and a vital member of the Union. While she doesn't have a Negation like the rest of them, she chooses to fight using extreme proficiency in martial arts and her plethora of artefacts. She's also a close friend to Fuuko Izumo and Andy.Zhidaole!
Key
Scaling- Andy / Undead
- Feng Kowloon / Unfade
- Fuuko Izumo / Unluck
- God / UMAs
- Nico Vorgeil / Unforgettable
- Shen Xian / Untruth
- Feats are listed in order of appearance. Hover over a link to see the chapter(s) of origin.
- Feats from chapters up to 132 are from the 100th Loop.
- Feats from 133 on are from the 101st Loop, with this RT leaving off at 206.
- Character profile.
Strength
Striking- Smacks away a junior of UMA Summer using nunchucks
- With Shen, sends the Nyoi-Kinko staff into Spring
- With Shen, sends the Nyoi-Kinko staff into God
- Stronger than Shen
- Kicks Shen into the sky, the area around her hand on the ground having broken from the force
- Axe-kicks Shen down into the Tenraisai block, pulverizing it
- Counters UMA Color's projectiles
- KO's UMA Platinum with Shen
- Throws several nails into a sheet of metal at once
- Pumps iron
- Cuts an UMA Summer junior in half with a sword artifact
- Stabs through Shen's chest
Durability
Blunt- Fuuko's Unluck causes a brick to fall on her hand and break in half, briefly KOing her
- KOed by a kick from Feng
- Beaten by Nico
- Uses Shen's palm strike to the chin as force for her chin kick on Shen
- Sent flying after taking the full brunt of Shen's Tetsuzanko without being able to block
- Union member suits are bulletproof, stab-proof, and generally incredibly durable
- Her mind handles using eight different artifacts
Speed
Skill
- Is noted in her character profile to be very skilled due to training with Shen
- Knows kung-fu as a result of daily training
- Engaged in combat with Shen against Creed and Yusai offscreen
- After all the world's languages were unified into English and she lost the ability to speak Chinese, she starts teaching herself how to speak it using only a book written by Nico
- Trounced Luo in kung fu
- Trades furious blows with Shen
Gear
WeaponsUtility
- The neckties of Union suits grants the wearer access to a number of public services and organizations and it also functions as a universal translator which even works with writing
- Healing pill artifacts, made from her own life force
- Uses the Game of Death artifact to turn Shen into a jiangshi, a reanimated corpse that automatically protects her when she's in danger and can't act on his own unless she orders him
- A hand fan artifact that dispels a large cloud of dust when used
Negation: Untruth
Type: External-Targeting, Compulsory ActivationTragedy: The death of Shen right in front of her.
Untruth is an ability that originally belonged to Shen, which allows the user to make any target in their vision do the exact opposite of what they wanted, so long as the user is fond of the target.
- Unconsciously makes Shen and Andy come to a dead stop mid-attack
- Prevents Feng from avoiding a combo attack from Shen and Andy
- Forces Feng to walk into Shen's attacks after he starts trying to back down
- Makes Apocalypse reveal why the Union has never been able to defeat UMA Summer's second phase in any previous loop, despite it not wanting to
You're on!
2024.05.19 14:45 Ihopeitllbealright Demigirl? Whats my identity?
When I was a teen, I had this severe gender dysphoria and I was confused. I wanted to transition and I used to bind my chest. I felt like I had “two genders”. As my existing turmoil stabilized and I no longer hated my body passionately, I tried to be “girly”. Dress like a girl. Act like a girl. Be feminine. It was all supression really. I was lying to myself. I do not identify with the binary classification of a woman. And suppressing what I feel takes its toll on my mental health.
Even if I manage to hide it, it slips through my outwards expression … sometimes with what I wear.. my androgynous looks. My mannerisms.
My brain/psyche kinda feels intersex. What am I?
submitted by Ihopeitllbealright to NonBinary [link] [comments]
Even if I manage to hide it, it slips through my outwards expression … sometimes with what I wear.. my androgynous looks. My mannerisms.
My brain/psyche kinda feels intersex. What am I?
2024.05.19 14:45 Ihopeitllbealright Demigirl? Whats my identity?
When I was a teen, I had this severe gender dysphoria and I was confused. I wanted to transition and I used to bind my chest. I felt like I had “two genders”. As my existing turmoil stabilized and I no longer hated my body passionately, I tried to be “girly”. Dress like a girl. Act like a girl. Be feminine. It was all supression really. I was lying to myself. I do not identify with the binary classification of a woman. And suppressing what I feel takes its toll on my mental health.
Even if I manage to hide it, it slips through my outwards expression … sometimes with what I wear.. my androgynous looks. My mannerisms.
My brain/psyche kinda feels intersex. What am I?
submitted by Ihopeitllbealright to DemiGirl [link] [comments]
Even if I manage to hide it, it slips through my outwards expression … sometimes with what I wear.. my androgynous looks. My mannerisms.
My brain/psyche kinda feels intersex. What am I?
2024.05.19 14:44 RainInMyBr4in The murder of Raonaid Murray
Raonaid Murray was a 17 year old Irish teenager who was violently murdered on the morning of September 4th 1999. Despite extensive investigation and appeals, her murder has never been solved and the murder weapon has never been found.
Raonaid Murray was born on January 6 1982 to parents Jim and Deirdre Murray. She also had two older siblings, a sister, Sarah and a brother, Daniel. She had attended St Joseph of Cluny secondary school in Killiney where she was a high achiever. She completed her leaving certification exams in 1999. After she had completed school, she went on to work part time in a fashion boutique in the town of Dún Laoghaire in Dublin. However, she intended to re-sit her leaving certification at the Institute of Education and hoped she would be able to attend the arts faculty in University College Dublin after completion. Her family stated that she liked reading and poetry and had expressed hopes that she might one day be a successful writer. Her friends fondly remembered her for always wearing bright colours, her optimistic attitude and her commitment to an active social life.
On the evening of September 3rd, Raonaid spent time socialising in Scott's pub in the town of Dún Laoghaire. She had finished her shift at the boutique at around 9:40pm and was excited to socialise. CCTV footage shows her leaving the shopping centre carrying a bag and walking with a friend. However, this would be the last time that she would be seen alive. At around 11:20pm, Raonaid left the pub so she could go home and change as she had purchased a new outfit that day and wanted to wear it out. She had planned to meet her friends again at the paparazzi nightclub in town. The walk home should only have taken her 15-20 minutes but she never made it. Approximately 20 minutes after she left the pub, an eyewitness claimed they saw her arguing with a young man on the Glenageary upper road. She then crossed over to Silchester Road and entered the laneway that would take her to her home in Silchester Park. Almost immediately after this, a female voice was heard from the alley saying something like "Leave me alone" or "Get away" followed by "Fuck off". A loud woman's scream was then heard, followed by silence. One of Raonaid's friends, concerned as to how long she was taking, called her house phone but when her father Jim answered, the friend quicky hung up.
Early on the morning of September 4th, at around 12:30am, Raonaid's sister and her friends found her body lying in the alleyway, 500 yards from her front door. She was still clutching her shopping bag that contained her new outfit. A Garda investigation would later reveal that she had been stabbed 30 times although many of the stab wounds hadn't managed to pierce her clothing. She had also managed to stagger 200 yards from where she was attacked to where she was found, this was determined by the blood trail. Gardaí strongly suspected that the perpetrator was someone she knew based on the extremely frenzied nature of the attack which could suggest a personal grudge. Raonaid had a deep wound to her chest, abdomen, right arm and a fatal wound to her left armpit. In addition, she had not been sexually assaulted and nothing had been stolen.
A large scale investigation was launched and over 100 Gardaí were assigned to the case but despite extensive interviews and searches, no motive was uncovered and the murder weapon was never found. Garda believe the blade used was probably a kitchen knife which further supported the theory that this was a crime of passion. By 2008, 8000 people had been interviewed, 3000 statements had been taken and 12 arrests were made. Despite this, no primary suspect has ever been identified and the investigation has effectively gone cold. A few months after her death, her gravestone was desecrated by an unknown individual/individuals which Garda believe could be people involved in her murder. A more recent review of the original investigation showed that Gardaí had botched the case from the start as they seemed to be waiting for a killer to simply present themselves. When this didn't happen, they ignored important clues, misinterpreted evidence, failed to carry out proper searches, and ignored their own procedures. According to one of the officers who reviewed the case, "It was nothing short of a shambles. They were convinced someone would present themselves or some family would contact them to say someone came home covered in blood. When this didn’t happen, the investigation just went nowhere".
In 2010, with the advancement of forensic technology, DNA was successfully removed from under Raonaid's nails. Curiously, when tested, it showed that the material belonged to a woman and it was confirmed that it did not belong to anyone known to her. This knowledge changed the line of thinking considerably as prior to this, the Garda had been adamantly searching for a male. It was theorised that if the attacker was a woman, it would explain why many of the stab wounds were weak and didn't pierce her clothing. In addition, a young woman was allegedly seen walking quickly away from the area shortly after the murder. Despite this renewed line of thinking, the investigation has remained cold with no new leads.
It's been 24 years since Raonaid was murdered in cold blood and nobody has been charged for this heinous crime and her family have still received no justice. Despite the offer of a €190,000 reward, the family and Garda have been met with silence. The investigation continues and renewed appeals for information have been made but to date, the case remains unsolved.
Sources: https://www.rte.ie/news/2016/0903/813922-raonaid-murray/
https://m.independent.ie/regionals/herald/female-dna-found-under-raonaids-nails/27938356.html
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/travel/destinations/europe-travel/ireland/the-mystery-of-south-dublin-schoolgirl-raonaid-murrays-unsolved-murder-9fpdwznbq
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Raonaid_Murray#:~:text=Raonaid%20Murray%20(6%20January%201982,this%20murder%20case%20remains%20unsolved.
https://www.chillingcrimes.com/blogs/news/raonaid-murray
submitted by RainInMyBr4in to UnresolvedMysteries [link] [comments]
Raonaid Murray was born on January 6 1982 to parents Jim and Deirdre Murray. She also had two older siblings, a sister, Sarah and a brother, Daniel. She had attended St Joseph of Cluny secondary school in Killiney where she was a high achiever. She completed her leaving certification exams in 1999. After she had completed school, she went on to work part time in a fashion boutique in the town of Dún Laoghaire in Dublin. However, she intended to re-sit her leaving certification at the Institute of Education and hoped she would be able to attend the arts faculty in University College Dublin after completion. Her family stated that she liked reading and poetry and had expressed hopes that she might one day be a successful writer. Her friends fondly remembered her for always wearing bright colours, her optimistic attitude and her commitment to an active social life.
On the evening of September 3rd, Raonaid spent time socialising in Scott's pub in the town of Dún Laoghaire. She had finished her shift at the boutique at around 9:40pm and was excited to socialise. CCTV footage shows her leaving the shopping centre carrying a bag and walking with a friend. However, this would be the last time that she would be seen alive. At around 11:20pm, Raonaid left the pub so she could go home and change as she had purchased a new outfit that day and wanted to wear it out. She had planned to meet her friends again at the paparazzi nightclub in town. The walk home should only have taken her 15-20 minutes but she never made it. Approximately 20 minutes after she left the pub, an eyewitness claimed they saw her arguing with a young man on the Glenageary upper road. She then crossed over to Silchester Road and entered the laneway that would take her to her home in Silchester Park. Almost immediately after this, a female voice was heard from the alley saying something like "Leave me alone" or "Get away" followed by "Fuck off". A loud woman's scream was then heard, followed by silence. One of Raonaid's friends, concerned as to how long she was taking, called her house phone but when her father Jim answered, the friend quicky hung up.
Early on the morning of September 4th, at around 12:30am, Raonaid's sister and her friends found her body lying in the alleyway, 500 yards from her front door. She was still clutching her shopping bag that contained her new outfit. A Garda investigation would later reveal that she had been stabbed 30 times although many of the stab wounds hadn't managed to pierce her clothing. She had also managed to stagger 200 yards from where she was attacked to where she was found, this was determined by the blood trail. Gardaí strongly suspected that the perpetrator was someone she knew based on the extremely frenzied nature of the attack which could suggest a personal grudge. Raonaid had a deep wound to her chest, abdomen, right arm and a fatal wound to her left armpit. In addition, she had not been sexually assaulted and nothing had been stolen.
A large scale investigation was launched and over 100 Gardaí were assigned to the case but despite extensive interviews and searches, no motive was uncovered and the murder weapon was never found. Garda believe the blade used was probably a kitchen knife which further supported the theory that this was a crime of passion. By 2008, 8000 people had been interviewed, 3000 statements had been taken and 12 arrests were made. Despite this, no primary suspect has ever been identified and the investigation has effectively gone cold. A few months after her death, her gravestone was desecrated by an unknown individual/individuals which Garda believe could be people involved in her murder. A more recent review of the original investigation showed that Gardaí had botched the case from the start as they seemed to be waiting for a killer to simply present themselves. When this didn't happen, they ignored important clues, misinterpreted evidence, failed to carry out proper searches, and ignored their own procedures. According to one of the officers who reviewed the case, "It was nothing short of a shambles. They were convinced someone would present themselves or some family would contact them to say someone came home covered in blood. When this didn’t happen, the investigation just went nowhere".
In 2010, with the advancement of forensic technology, DNA was successfully removed from under Raonaid's nails. Curiously, when tested, it showed that the material belonged to a woman and it was confirmed that it did not belong to anyone known to her. This knowledge changed the line of thinking considerably as prior to this, the Garda had been adamantly searching for a male. It was theorised that if the attacker was a woman, it would explain why many of the stab wounds were weak and didn't pierce her clothing. In addition, a young woman was allegedly seen walking quickly away from the area shortly after the murder. Despite this renewed line of thinking, the investigation has remained cold with no new leads.
It's been 24 years since Raonaid was murdered in cold blood and nobody has been charged for this heinous crime and her family have still received no justice. Despite the offer of a €190,000 reward, the family and Garda have been met with silence. The investigation continues and renewed appeals for information have been made but to date, the case remains unsolved.
Sources: https://www.rte.ie/news/2016/0903/813922-raonaid-murray/
https://m.independent.ie/regionals/herald/female-dna-found-under-raonaids-nails/27938356.html
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/travel/destinations/europe-travel/ireland/the-mystery-of-south-dublin-schoolgirl-raonaid-murrays-unsolved-murder-9fpdwznbq
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Raonaid_Murray#:~:text=Raonaid%20Murray%20(6%20January%201982,this%20murder%20case%20remains%20unsolved.
https://www.chillingcrimes.com/blogs/news/raonaid-murray
2024.05.19 14:44 Ihopeitllbealright Demigirl? Whats my identity?
When I was a teen, I had this severe gender dysphoria and I was confused. I wanted to transition and I used to bind my chest. I felt like I had “two genders”. As my existing turmoil stabilized and I no longer hated my body passionately, I tried to be “girly”. Dress like a girl. Act like a girl. Be feminine. It was all supression really. I was lying to myself. I do not identify with the binary classification of a woman. And suppressing what I feel takes its toll on my mental health.
Even if I manage to hide it, it slips through my outwards expression … sometimes with what I wear.. my androgynous looks. My mannerisms.
My brain/psyche kinda feels intersex. What am I?
submitted by Ihopeitllbealright to Demifluid [link] [comments]
Even if I manage to hide it, it slips through my outwards expression … sometimes with what I wear.. my androgynous looks. My mannerisms.
My brain/psyche kinda feels intersex. What am I?
2024.05.19 14:20 Crazy-Concern8080 Hearts and Minds 4: When All is Said - (Part 4)
Whatever you do, never drink to cure a mental issue.
First
Previous
You know the drill: credit to SpacePaladin15 for the universe.
Thank you JulianSkies for proofreading.
Memory Transcription Subject: Gillab, Gojid Citizen, Father
Date [Standardized Human Time]: March 28, 2142
I made sure to wake up as early as possible so I could do what I needed to do before Billy woke up. First things first, get rid of all the liquor in that fridge. If Billy was going to get better, the first thing he needed to do was stop drinking. He was only running from his problems and as long as he had that out he was going to take it.
I pulled a trash bag in front of the fridge, propped it open as best I could, and started stuffing it full of bottles. Cheap Venlilian liquor was being poured down the drain by the second, it almost made me feel bad for anything living in the sewers. This stuff had enough alcohol in it to kill someone, a rat would be dead in seconds.
By the time I poured the last bottle down the drain, I had probably sanitized the entirety of the New York sewer system. I hoisted the bag onto my back, making sure not to break the bag with my quills, and started to make my way to the dumpster. Thankfully Billy’s apartment was on the first floor so the journey wasn’t too long.
I tossed the bag into the dumpster carelessly, causing a few of the bottles to break when they hit the others that had been thrown in yesterday. It was only the second day, but I felt like we had already made some progress. I was able to make him admit he was just scared of feeling the pain of his memories, even if it was only accidental. Small steps were still steps, now all I had to do was make him realize that he didn’t deserve this. I have a feeling that once he jumps that hurdle, everything should come much easier.
A familiar song brought me out of my thoughts, drawing my attention to my phone. I had changed the ringtone to the first Human song I had ever heard, T-Shirt, to always remind me of my time on the Cradle. I pulled out my phone and accepted the call, smiling as I saw just who it was.
“High sweety, having a good morning?”
The camera shook up and down in sync with my daughter's face. “Yeah, but I wish you were here.”
“Oh sweety, I know you do, but I have some important work to do and I can’t come home. Just know that I will always love you. Now you have a good day at school, you hear?”
“Mmhm, I will. Here’s mommy.”
The camera shook again as it passed from my daughter’s claws to my wife’s. In the background, I could hear the chitter of my daughter’s voice and then rapid footsteps away. When the camera stopped shaking, I was met by the most beautiful woman in existence.
“Hello, Sweet-fruit.”
Kirala smiled and tilted her head. “Hello, my big guolo tree. I missed you this morning.”
“I missed you too. I had to sleep on an uncomfortable couch and I think it messed up my back a bit.”
“Oh, how the mighty veteran is felled! Surviving a plasma wound to the chest but felled by the mightier couch.”
I flicked an ear in amusement. “To be fair, it was one vicious couch.”
I couldn’t help but melt at her laugh, it was like sunshine during the darkest night. It was light and cheerful and genuine, and I couldn’t imagine myself living without it.
With a final few chuckles, Kirala pulled herself together enough to respond. “Well, it sounds like you need to wear some armor to bed then.”
I feigned a thoughtful expression. “Maybe I will, I already sleep with clothes on.”
She threw her head back in disgust. “Ugh, I still don’t know how you do that. I still feel a little uncomfortable when I wear them when I’m awake, I couldn’t imagine sleeping with them.”
“It’s an acquired taste, you’ll come around.”
“Mmhm, I’m suuure.”
I sighed. “How’s Julaly doing?”
“Well, she misses you, obviously, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. She was good yesterday, but we both wished you had given us a little more of a warning. I didn’t expect your little trip to the memorial to turn into an impromptu therapy session.”
“Sweet-fruit, you know I wish I could have too. It was sprung on me just as much as you. I’m just glad I found him when I did, do you know what I found in his room? A suicide note.”
Kirala gasped slightly. “Oh dear I… I really-”
“It’s fine. I didn’t know either. But just think, if I had come back for just one day, he would be dead. I made the right call here, even if I was torn at the time.”
“You need to get back to him then.”
“I’ve got a little longer. He’s still asleep. I was throwing away some alcohol when you called me, and when I get some free time I’m going to go to the nearby bars and tell them not to serve him. Today I’m thinking I’ll try and get him to go to a veterans’ meeting so he can connect with some others like him, let him know he’s not alone and it’s not just me who cares about him.”
“Still, you should go back to him. And stay safe. He sounds unstable, just keep an eye on him.”
“Sweet-fruit, he’s not dangerous.”
“You don’t know what’s going on in his head. Promise me you will stay safe.”
“I promise.”
“Like you mean it.”
“I promise with all of my heart that I will stay safe.”
“Good, now get back to it. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
The call blinked out and left me staring at my home screen. It was true that I missed them both dearly, even a day without them left me longing, but I knew what I was doing was right. Billy needed someone to save him, and I was the only one available. Kirala was right, I needed to get back to it. I couldn’t leave Billy alone for too long, it would only end in disaster.
As soon as the door clicked open, Billy descended upon me. “Gillab, what did you do?! Where’s the liquor?!”
I stepped past him and made my way to the living room. “I threw it all away. You were poisoning yourself and I needed to put an end to it.”
Billy was stunned for a moment. “You fucking- GILLAB! Get the FUCK out of my house!”
“I’m not going anywhere! Not until you heal!”
Billy looked back and forth, raising his arms in frustration. “What the FUCK does that even mean?! You keep spouting this fucking ‘healing’ word like it’s some catch-all miracle wonder word that means everything!”
“I mean, you need to come to terms with what you’ve done, accept them, and move on! Otherwise, you are just going to rot in this room for all eternity. You are so much better than this, and you know it. You are strong enough to carry on, and you know this. You know, deep down, that you don’t deserve this life. But you are stuck thinking that you do! I saw you at the memorial and I literally didn’t recognize you, remember? That is how much you have changed, but it doesn’t have to stay like this. You can end the pain, and not in that way, all you have to do is trust me. And not just say that you do.”
I paused for a moment to catch my breath. “You said that you would go through the motions for me, right? This is just another motion. The next one is to find other veterans who are or have been through what you have and talk to them. They will make you realize that you aren’t trash or a parasite or any of that! It’s just another motion, right?”
Billy growled and stormed towards me. “You are on thin fucking ice right now.”
“Good. It means you care. Now sit down, we are going to set up a meeting with a group of veterans.”
“I don’t want to go meet some fucking soldier. I’m fine without that.”
“It’s just the motions, right? Humor me.”
With a deep sigh, Billy sat in the chair across from me. That was all I needed to see to confirm it, Billy really did want help, he just couldn’t even admit it to himself.
“You still haven’t given me your promised speech from yesterday. The hour-long one about how much I don’t deserve what I’m doing to myself.”
“Oh trust me, it’s coming. But right now we are going to set up a date for you to meet a veterans’ group. After that, let’s clean up a little more, get some food, maybe go for a walk in a park, then you’ll get the speech. Okay?”
Billy rolled his eyes and waited for me to pull up a website. After a bit of scrolling, I found a phone number I could call to find a meeting time. I prepared everything and set the phone on the table, but didn’t call yet.
“Okay Billy, I’m leaving this up to you. All you have to do is say your name and ask for a time you can come to the meeting.”
“Why can’t you set it up for me?”
“That’s not how it works. You need to be the one that calls them, not me. Plus, I don’t think they would accept me signing you up. The person coming has to be the one to set it up. Are you ready?”
Billy sighed. “Yeah.”
I called the number, set the phone on a table between Billy and I, and waited. After a few rings, a man began to speak.
“Hello, you have reached Richard’s group therapy for veterans, how can I help you?”
Billy looked up to me for guidance, to which I only motioned for him to speak to the man. “H-hi Richard, m-my name is Billy. I was… wondering if I-I could join your next meeting.”
“Oh course, we are always open for more. You didn’t even need to call, you could have just shown up at the meeting. We accept anyone and everyone at any time. Our next meeting is tomorrow at noon if you are available. If not, the next one is that same day at six-thirty.”
Billy glanced at me twice before giving his answer. “The… six-thirty one sounds good.”
He was pushing it back as much as he could, but at least he would get to it eventually. There was some quiet clacking in the background before the man responded. “Great, I’ve reserved you a seat. I’m happy to have you join us. Is there anything else you need?”
“No, that’s all. See you tomorrow.”
Billy set his phone down and sighed deeply. His face quickly changed from concerned and awkward to angry and annoyed. I could see him prepare to say something, but it ended up dying in his throat. Instead, he stood up suddenly and stomped back to his room, wanting to be left alone.
submitted by Crazy-Concern8080 to NatureofPredators [link] [comments]
First
Previous
You know the drill: credit to SpacePaladin15 for the universe.
Thank you JulianSkies for proofreading.
Date [Standardized Human Time]: March 28, 2142
I made sure to wake up as early as possible so I could do what I needed to do before Billy woke up. First things first, get rid of all the liquor in that fridge. If Billy was going to get better, the first thing he needed to do was stop drinking. He was only running from his problems and as long as he had that out he was going to take it.
I pulled a trash bag in front of the fridge, propped it open as best I could, and started stuffing it full of bottles. Cheap Venlilian liquor was being poured down the drain by the second, it almost made me feel bad for anything living in the sewers. This stuff had enough alcohol in it to kill someone, a rat would be dead in seconds.
By the time I poured the last bottle down the drain, I had probably sanitized the entirety of the New York sewer system. I hoisted the bag onto my back, making sure not to break the bag with my quills, and started to make my way to the dumpster. Thankfully Billy’s apartment was on the first floor so the journey wasn’t too long.
I tossed the bag into the dumpster carelessly, causing a few of the bottles to break when they hit the others that had been thrown in yesterday. It was only the second day, but I felt like we had already made some progress. I was able to make him admit he was just scared of feeling the pain of his memories, even if it was only accidental. Small steps were still steps, now all I had to do was make him realize that he didn’t deserve this. I have a feeling that once he jumps that hurdle, everything should come much easier.
A familiar song brought me out of my thoughts, drawing my attention to my phone. I had changed the ringtone to the first Human song I had ever heard, T-Shirt, to always remind me of my time on the Cradle. I pulled out my phone and accepted the call, smiling as I saw just who it was.
“High sweety, having a good morning?”
The camera shook up and down in sync with my daughter's face. “Yeah, but I wish you were here.”
“Oh sweety, I know you do, but I have some important work to do and I can’t come home. Just know that I will always love you. Now you have a good day at school, you hear?”
“Mmhm, I will. Here’s mommy.”
The camera shook again as it passed from my daughter’s claws to my wife’s. In the background, I could hear the chitter of my daughter’s voice and then rapid footsteps away. When the camera stopped shaking, I was met by the most beautiful woman in existence.
“Hello, Sweet-fruit.”
Kirala smiled and tilted her head. “Hello, my big guolo tree. I missed you this morning.”
“I missed you too. I had to sleep on an uncomfortable couch and I think it messed up my back a bit.”
“Oh, how the mighty veteran is felled! Surviving a plasma wound to the chest but felled by the mightier couch.”
I flicked an ear in amusement. “To be fair, it was one vicious couch.”
I couldn’t help but melt at her laugh, it was like sunshine during the darkest night. It was light and cheerful and genuine, and I couldn’t imagine myself living without it.
With a final few chuckles, Kirala pulled herself together enough to respond. “Well, it sounds like you need to wear some armor to bed then.”
I feigned a thoughtful expression. “Maybe I will, I already sleep with clothes on.”
She threw her head back in disgust. “Ugh, I still don’t know how you do that. I still feel a little uncomfortable when I wear them when I’m awake, I couldn’t imagine sleeping with them.”
“It’s an acquired taste, you’ll come around.”
“Mmhm, I’m suuure.”
I sighed. “How’s Julaly doing?”
“Well, she misses you, obviously, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. She was good yesterday, but we both wished you had given us a little more of a warning. I didn’t expect your little trip to the memorial to turn into an impromptu therapy session.”
“Sweet-fruit, you know I wish I could have too. It was sprung on me just as much as you. I’m just glad I found him when I did, do you know what I found in his room? A suicide note.”
Kirala gasped slightly. “Oh dear I… I really-”
“It’s fine. I didn’t know either. But just think, if I had come back for just one day, he would be dead. I made the right call here, even if I was torn at the time.”
“You need to get back to him then.”
“I’ve got a little longer. He’s still asleep. I was throwing away some alcohol when you called me, and when I get some free time I’m going to go to the nearby bars and tell them not to serve him. Today I’m thinking I’ll try and get him to go to a veterans’ meeting so he can connect with some others like him, let him know he’s not alone and it’s not just me who cares about him.”
“Still, you should go back to him. And stay safe. He sounds unstable, just keep an eye on him.”
“Sweet-fruit, he’s not dangerous.”
“You don’t know what’s going on in his head. Promise me you will stay safe.”
“I promise.”
“Like you mean it.”
“I promise with all of my heart that I will stay safe.”
“Good, now get back to it. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
The call blinked out and left me staring at my home screen. It was true that I missed them both dearly, even a day without them left me longing, but I knew what I was doing was right. Billy needed someone to save him, and I was the only one available. Kirala was right, I needed to get back to it. I couldn’t leave Billy alone for too long, it would only end in disaster.
As soon as the door clicked open, Billy descended upon me. “Gillab, what did you do?! Where’s the liquor?!”
I stepped past him and made my way to the living room. “I threw it all away. You were poisoning yourself and I needed to put an end to it.”
Billy was stunned for a moment. “You fucking- GILLAB! Get the FUCK out of my house!”
“I’m not going anywhere! Not until you heal!”
Billy looked back and forth, raising his arms in frustration. “What the FUCK does that even mean?! You keep spouting this fucking ‘healing’ word like it’s some catch-all miracle wonder word that means everything!”
“I mean, you need to come to terms with what you’ve done, accept them, and move on! Otherwise, you are just going to rot in this room for all eternity. You are so much better than this, and you know it. You are strong enough to carry on, and you know this. You know, deep down, that you don’t deserve this life. But you are stuck thinking that you do! I saw you at the memorial and I literally didn’t recognize you, remember? That is how much you have changed, but it doesn’t have to stay like this. You can end the pain, and not in that way, all you have to do is trust me. And not just say that you do.”
I paused for a moment to catch my breath. “You said that you would go through the motions for me, right? This is just another motion. The next one is to find other veterans who are or have been through what you have and talk to them. They will make you realize that you aren’t trash or a parasite or any of that! It’s just another motion, right?”
Billy growled and stormed towards me. “You are on thin fucking ice right now.”
“Good. It means you care. Now sit down, we are going to set up a meeting with a group of veterans.”
“I don’t want to go meet some fucking soldier. I’m fine without that.”
“It’s just the motions, right? Humor me.”
With a deep sigh, Billy sat in the chair across from me. That was all I needed to see to confirm it, Billy really did want help, he just couldn’t even admit it to himself.
“You still haven’t given me your promised speech from yesterday. The hour-long one about how much I don’t deserve what I’m doing to myself.”
“Oh trust me, it’s coming. But right now we are going to set up a date for you to meet a veterans’ group. After that, let’s clean up a little more, get some food, maybe go for a walk in a park, then you’ll get the speech. Okay?”
Billy rolled his eyes and waited for me to pull up a website. After a bit of scrolling, I found a phone number I could call to find a meeting time. I prepared everything and set the phone on the table, but didn’t call yet.
“Okay Billy, I’m leaving this up to you. All you have to do is say your name and ask for a time you can come to the meeting.”
“Why can’t you set it up for me?”
“That’s not how it works. You need to be the one that calls them, not me. Plus, I don’t think they would accept me signing you up. The person coming has to be the one to set it up. Are you ready?”
Billy sighed. “Yeah.”
I called the number, set the phone on a table between Billy and I, and waited. After a few rings, a man began to speak.
“Hello, you have reached Richard’s group therapy for veterans, how can I help you?”
Billy looked up to me for guidance, to which I only motioned for him to speak to the man. “H-hi Richard, m-my name is Billy. I was… wondering if I-I could join your next meeting.”
“Oh course, we are always open for more. You didn’t even need to call, you could have just shown up at the meeting. We accept anyone and everyone at any time. Our next meeting is tomorrow at noon if you are available. If not, the next one is that same day at six-thirty.”
Billy glanced at me twice before giving his answer. “The… six-thirty one sounds good.”
He was pushing it back as much as he could, but at least he would get to it eventually. There was some quiet clacking in the background before the man responded. “Great, I’ve reserved you a seat. I’m happy to have you join us. Is there anything else you need?”
“No, that’s all. See you tomorrow.”
Billy set his phone down and sighed deeply. His face quickly changed from concerned and awkward to angry and annoyed. I could see him prepare to say something, but it ended up dying in his throat. Instead, he stood up suddenly and stomped back to his room, wanting to be left alone.
2024.05.19 14:10 Secure-Law9874 Could I have Endometriosis?
Hi there,
I am a 31 year old woman and have always had painful period since I was a teenager. Years of having to take lots of pain medication and sometimes having to call in sick to work/school.
My last 2 periods, I have had not only my regular period cramps but what feels like stomach cramps. They have been extremely painful, to the point the pain is radiating out and it feels like my chest and my back are on fire and it’s causing me trouble to do anything in the day along with trouble sleeping. The cramps continued long after my period finished as well. My periods have been about 4 days while these stomach cramps lasted for 8. I went to the doctor last month and they said they thought it was my kidneys and the fact it started when my period started was just a coincidence. This month they have started again with my period. I have been doing some research and I can see that stomach cramps along with a period is a symptom of endometriosis. I have also had breast tenderness for the past two months which I have never had in my life.
I just wanted to reach out and ask if this has happened to anyone else or it sounds like something they are familiar with? I am trying to get to see my doctor but I need to wait a few days and I know by the time I get into see them it will all be gone for the month and I will just have to deal with this all again next month. Any help or information would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you all.
submitted by Secure-Law9874 to endometriosis [link] [comments]
I am a 31 year old woman and have always had painful period since I was a teenager. Years of having to take lots of pain medication and sometimes having to call in sick to work/school.
My last 2 periods, I have had not only my regular period cramps but what feels like stomach cramps. They have been extremely painful, to the point the pain is radiating out and it feels like my chest and my back are on fire and it’s causing me trouble to do anything in the day along with trouble sleeping. The cramps continued long after my period finished as well. My periods have been about 4 days while these stomach cramps lasted for 8. I went to the doctor last month and they said they thought it was my kidneys and the fact it started when my period started was just a coincidence. This month they have started again with my period. I have been doing some research and I can see that stomach cramps along with a period is a symptom of endometriosis. I have also had breast tenderness for the past two months which I have never had in my life.
I just wanted to reach out and ask if this has happened to anyone else or it sounds like something they are familiar with? I am trying to get to see my doctor but I need to wait a few days and I know by the time I get into see them it will all be gone for the month and I will just have to deal with this all again next month. Any help or information would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you all.
2024.05.19 14:04 BrightQueen96 Homeless for the 4th time.
27(trans woman) was kicked out of my house. My sister who I was co living with, lied about the landlord finding out that we had 3 adults in the place, she wanted me gone before she gave birth on June 10th. Which was 3 weeks from now, it’s to close to her due date to be true. Since we’ve been living there since November, I’ve been paying 95% of the rent, storage unit bill, and internet bill. When i getting my stuff, I was calm. No one was fighting, her husband was smirking the entire time I was leaving. I didn’t cause any issues, told her I was taking all my stuff. They called me names because I took my router, that is in my name. I told her this the day before, but yet I’m rude for walking in the bedroom to get it? Even though I wasn’t even causing issues until her son and daughter started crying because they didn’t have internet anymore. She called me numerous names, told me I wasn’t family, that she will never support me. Telling me I had a free ride for “years” even though I moved in with her back in august of 2022, because I was SAed outside of my apartment in front of my son by my stalker(cops didn’t do anything even with video evidence, he was the grandpa of the one cops) I wasn’t safe there and asked if I could stay. When I originally moved in, I was the only one who had a job and was paying rent, electric, and internet. Her husband couldn’t keep a job for shit, would stay home and get fired for pointing out. Now he finally got a job making 22$ an hour and they instantly turn to kick me out. Even though they wouldn’t have the van after it broke down last year, after my fiancé had paid 1250$ to the garage to get it fixed. My sister acts like I’m the one who’s been sucking this family dry but yet I’m not the one who’s stealing from my siblings. I’ve had over 300$, my clothes, and many more things go missing since living there. She’s stolen from me before when she and her husband were at the height of their meth addiction, and yet I found another pipe in the house. I took it and broke it that same morning on Thursday of last week. The same day I got the message about the landlord. She claims I’ve been talking shit, calling my nephew a psycho(he has schizoaffective disorder and he’s autistic) even though I’ve never said that. Claiming I’ve called my youngest niece stupid because my sister let her have a phone/tablet since she could crawl. She went from being normal sighted and is not cross eyed due to this. She’s 4 years old. They parent their kids with tv, and YouTube but then act surprised when my nephew hits his sister in the chest, the back, the head etc but yet blames his step siblings for “antagonizing him” even though all they were doing is being kids and playing with toys. My nephew is 12 years old. I’ve never said he’s anything but a child who needs help when they aren’t giving it to him. My fiancé who used to work at a mental hospital, even says he needs to get better help then they are giving. Sorry I’m just trying to paint the picture here. I’m struggling to come to grips with the fact that even my own mother and father, are taking her side. My brother blocked me. I am losing my mind. My family hates that I am trans, and actively has worked against me the entire time. My fiancé is the only reason I’m not breaking down. I wa supposed to move in with a friend but then she blocked me out of no where and now I’m trying to figure out a place to go before 11am when I gotta leave this hotel room. I haven’t been able to save any money due to the fact that I’ve been paying all the bills. I’ve been paying all the gas money. She wanted 20$ to pick me a mile from the house, so I just walked home. I’ve kept the peace, I didn’t cry or say anything to start shit. I am most likely going to the homeless shelter today if I can’t figure anything out. Oh also, in all of this. My sister was supposed to meet my sons mom so I could get him for me time but yet that wasn’t ever allowed or possible because she wouldn’t drive me. I lost my license back in may of 2022 due to my ex best friend canceling the registration on the car I had just gotten from him, I hadn’t had much time to get it into my name. We agreed he’d let the registration run out in July, which I had already been saving up for it(the taxes on it were 200$) I’ve been a single income home since I was 21. I hadn’t gotten any help because I made to much money according to the programs. My sister and BIL were starting to police when i took a shower, when I slept, when I ate and how much I ate. I didn’t tell my fiancé the extent because it’s not like I could move in with her right now, she’s living with her grandma and I don’t want to give them any harder issues than needed. I’m trying my best, but the last 2 years have imploded my entire life, over and over again.
submitted by BrightQueen96 to venting [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 13:54 InvestigatorJumpy396 The temptation was too great to ignore
submitted by InvestigatorJumpy396 to RomanceClubDiscussion [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 13:00 medical_news_mod ‘Breasts are a serious political problem’: one woman’s quest to reclaim her chest
 | submitted by medical_news_mod to medical_news [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 12:11 MeatJordan Where CAN I protest this?
Let me start with the summary version:
It all began when I first stumbled upon Inside Edition's videos of women - that's WOMEN getting slammed, insulted, and blasted for "showing too much of their body (with kids around)". Then it escalates further when they show a school is photoshopping out women's cleavages to make them look "modest" for their yearbook. I feel this type of treatment towards the female human is all wrong! Like, can't anybody learn to appreciate and look at the female body without censoring it in any way? Can't you let ANYBODY, including kids, get a chance to learn about the differences between the male and female human bodies????
Then comes along... you guessed it. That one video Inside Edition publishes. And after seeing her top blurred, my inner voice in my head: "That's the last straw!" Like, can't some of us get a chance to learn something new that just aroused our curiosity? Such as how the human body changes with time in terms of both genders? Like, now, I can finally visualize myself (my whole body) from little boy to fully grown man. But when Inside Edition published that footage, the new question that took me by storm is: what would a female look like from little girl to fully grown woman?
But with YouTube's broken comment system GHOSTING certain-to-random comments, even on my backup YouTube account, I can't seem to get ANY messages across!
Speaking of which, when I tried to post this on Feminism and AskFeminists, they BOTH perma-banned me for NO REASON and muted me from talking to their mods for 28 days!
Why do I say "no reason"?
"Hello, You have been permanently banned from participating in this subreddit because your post violates this community's rules. You won't be able to post or comment, but you can still view and subscribe to it.
If you have a question regarding your ban, you can contact the moderator team by replying to this message.
Reminder from the Reddit staff: If you use another account to circumvent this subreddit ban, that will be considered a violation of the Content Policy and can result in your account being suspended from the site as a whole."
As you can see, there is no specific reason listed in the message above. So this is why I claim or what I mean by "banned from a sub for 'no reason'. - Even for something that was never officially listed on that sub's rule board.
Once more, I, along with these parents of their own daughter proved one major point: if a male can go topless/show their body, then so can a female - regardless of age!
Can't I get a chance to learn something new? Some evolution/development processes for certain things can be a little more complicated then you originally first thought.
Now here's the detailed version:
Ok, before you start reading below, I want you to visit this and read the whole article to better understand my situation: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/kitchener-waterloo/guelph-parents-angry-after-topless-girl-8-told-to-cover-up-1.3124762
I got banned from Lemmy social site servers for "CSAM" all because of this: the Napalm Girl pic and another thing I saw on Inside Edition's channel in addition to some nude statues - literally artwork of naked people - all because I was trying to protest ~the inconsistencies of censorship towards the female human~ - regardless of their race AND age!
Let me be clear on one thing: I didn't post any "CSAM" on the Lemmy servers! I'm protesting something that I feel is unfair towards the female human.
Please ~actually watch these before jumping to conclusions~ so you can actually understand what I’m really protesting!
Women Who Were Told Their Outfits Were ‘Too Revealing’
Mom Says She Was Kicked Out of Gym For Revealing Tank Top: I Felt Humiliated
Cops Dragged Woman Off Beach After Complaint About Her Bikini
It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit or body is “too revealing”,
Teens React After Yearbook Photos Are ‘Modesty Edited’
it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look “modest” for a yearbook or a portrait!
9-Year-Old Saves Family From House Fire
But censoring a topless preteen girl who thought up an ingenious strategy to stay cool like her friends in the same stuffy room while at the same time not caring who’s around her? THAT’S REALLY CROSSING THE LINE!
It's all thanks to some videos from Inside Edition's YouTube Channel.All these videos Inside Edition posted are developing a question in my mind that's getting the better of me: why so much hate on the female human - even as children? Like, why do they censor the little girl's chest? Can't anybody learn to appreciate the appearance of the female body? Just like those parents of their own 8 year old daughter, I too am genuinely outraged by this type of treatment towards the female human!
And what's the big deal with nipples? I'm just trying to ensure everyone is treated equally regardless of race, and gender... AND age (after what I just witnessed). And if no one's gonna speak up about this, I might as well step up to the plate. After all, somebody's got to do it!
That little girl in the final video made two non-verbal messages clear: one: if a boy can do it, then so can a girl! And two: no one is too young for anything! As long as you have the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to do it properly and safely, you'll be fine. I was able to refuel my dad's car and cook my own dinner when I was 6 and without setting anything ablaze by accident.
However, when I try to illustrate with that video, even though Inside Edition is an official news channel, the responses I get back are rather bitter! They remove my post or ban me from the sites I post on for "promoting nudity involving a minor"!
~WHERE~
~CAN~
~I~
~ASK~
~OR~
~SHARE~
~THIS~
~SUBJECT?!~
Due to my autism, I only know basic English. So I need to illustrate to get most of my messages through. I thought hard, I tried, and low and behold, they were removed hours later mainly because they "didn't fit the subject of the forum". Even though my multi-subject based thread does have some material relating to this forum's topic. These sites and mods are all really stretching my problem solving skills beyond the breaking point for this one. I'm merely protesting with these pictures and videos as illustration. I'm not that good with words, so I need pictures to get half my messages across as noted above.
Many subreddits or forum sites don’t accept URLs, pictures, specific website URLs, or even a combination! Thereby hindering my ability to fully explain what I’m witnessing! In this case, the sentences “It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit is ‘too revealing’, it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look ‘modest’ for a yearbook.” actually corresponded to several videos I beared witness to on Inside Edition’s YouTube channel.
I actually tried to post that URL with that blurred 9yo girl in a subreddit in the past and you won’t believe this: I actually lost my reddit account for 2 days for “promoting nudity involving a minor”! Other sites like the adult video forums who accept uncensored nudity-based images I mentioned just delete my thread! Another site I recall banned me for 1 year for “spam” - even though I only made this protest post twice (after they removed it once).
So that meant I had to approach this from a different angle: after that experience, I got a little paranoid from using that said video URL to illustrate. So I tried explaining this protest without the URLs - and this is in conjunction with certain sites restricting my ability to post images, URLs, certain site URLs, or a combination. It seemed to end up making things worse! Because without the visual evidence, it makes it much harder to fully explain what I’m witnessing.
So without the URLs included - that visual illustration, on the sites I tried along with Lemmy World, it actually made things worse! That’s what lead Lemmy.World mods to ban me for life for “CSAM” or made other people think I watched child porn when I clearly didn’t. The lack of visual evidence (due to my past reddit experience combined with the site’s posting restrictions) is what lead to this “pedophile” confusion. So please help me talk some sense into the Lemmings world, Lemmy.ml, and Lemmy.world mods that this was all a major misunderstanding and Lemmy is pretty much the only reddit alternative out here where I can try asking another question. My attempt to appeal has failed on 3 Lemmy social sites - even after I tried notifying the mods on the third Lemmy server site before making the post, so I need your help now!
I felt after Inside Edition uploaded that blurred 9yo girl video… I thought to myself “That’s the last straw!” Someone needs to protest these absurd censorship laws that they apply to the female human!
Why can males show most of their body but females can’t? - In most cases that is? Whatever happened to "Free The Nipple"?
Children should have the same… rights to do things as any adult! It’s about possessing the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to safely execute this action. E.G, on those “Family Day” episodes of The Price is Right and Let’s Make a Deal; those kids made smart choices when picking the correct numbers to items to win a prize.
I’m not joking around here! This type of treatment towards the female human needs to stop - this includes race and age. - It’s like racist people, but in age form.
Does it look like I’m laughing for fun? Of course not! Since no one else is protesting this, and YouTube has a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post on even random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I have to take more drastic measures to protest by stepping up to the plate and shouting out “Can’t we all be equal in terms of a huge variety of traits?” Yeah, the last thing I need is a vein-bleeding broken-record robot impeding or hindering my ability to seek answers to a question!
We need to learn to appreciate or accept how the female body appears regardless of race and age!
Stop trying to blame it all on me! None of the stuff in the vids posted, is that. If it was, Inside Edition would be the guilty party, and Youtube for not having already deleted them. If it doesn’t violate Youtube’s TOS, it should be fine to post anywhere. If there was even a hint of impropriety to it, at the minimum the vid would have been age restricted.
No one would answer! Not even Inside Edition themselves were willing to offer an answer when I even found their email address, the sites dedicated to helping those in mental, suicidal, or emotional distress (those forum sites even PERMA-banned me for "spam" - that's right, SPAM! (Even though there was absolutely no mention of a permanent ban or rule about "spam" in their forum guidelines!) Is that the definition of "spam" when I make a bad thread only once?! And when I try to appeal the ban, the same message "please contact the administrator if it was done in error" is blocking my ability to click the contact button! Or sometimes it's a blank white page with that message in the top left corner of the window! - Which adds more insult to injury, because I can't click anything as all the buttons have disappeared! That means I can't log out of that site either!), OR the adult video forums that support uncensored nudity images would accept that video link URL let alone the entire topic itself! So I really am at a loss for thoughts and words on what I just experienced! Heck, I even tried the professional therapists of talkingforchange.ca But even they too were too reluctant to talk as they claim my post regarding the censorship of women is not for their platform and they disconnected the chat 2 seconds after their last reply to me. And I highly doubt that ANY site will allow me to illustrate with a picture of the Napalm Girl (Phan Thi Kim Phuc) when she was 9, certain pictures of Pampers diaper boxes (why do you think they (Pampers, Huggies, etc.) even allow a pic of a topless little boy or girl to be plastered on a diaper box we see in grocery stores/supermarkets everyday?), Leela when she was an infant in the episode Leela's Homeworld, or even Belgium's famous kids: Manneken Pis/Jeanneke Pis. That, combined with YouTube having a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post comments on certain-to-random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I'm forced to take more drastic measures to get my messages across. All this combined, ~I'VE NEVER FELT SO SHUNNED FROM THE INTERNET IN ALL MY LIFE!~
But here's a strange catch: sometimes on some sites, Napalm Girl is censored, other sites she isn't. So I felt that I need to protest this. It seems everyone is too chicken to even start this subject! Don't these numbskulls know not to judge a book by it's cover?! This is where I ask myself "NOW WHAT?!". This can't be one of those "exceptional" cases where they say "suicide never solves anything" doesn't apply to these types of situations. In other words, all hope for resolving these types of situations really is lost. I really do feel left in the dark on both the subject of sound effects and nudity!
Once more, I'm not being a ped, I'm protesting all these absurd censorship rules and regulations that revolve around the female human - regardless of race and age - after what Inside Edition posted. Watch the videos I found again for clarification. In other words, ~the inconsistencies of female human censorship~.
Can you really - you know, hurl insults at Inside Edition or blast them for what they did? It was their idea to publicly publish the footage. Just like how that one photographer made the choice to publicly publish footage of the Napalm Girl when she was 9 and completely nude. Therefore, it should be ok to share this footage anywhere.
But some areas censored Napalm Girl's nipples, but others did not - excluding her groin. Then there's the diaper boxes I found in any supermarket. And finally... Surprise surprise: typical women being scolded by other people for wearing something "inappropriate" or "showing too much of their body". I look around and since no one else is protesting about this, I might as well do it! After all, someone's gotta step up to the plate to hit that ball! I will not sit idling by the sidelines and continue to watch the female human get treated/censored like this! I will stand up, step up, and speak out towards these absurd reactions, rules, and regulations that revolve around the appearance and censorship of the female body! What about the famous Jeanneke Pis in Belgium? Do you think she along with other nude statues are trying to promote pedophilia?
submitted by MeatJordan to whatsbotheringyou [link] [comments]
It all began when I first stumbled upon Inside Edition's videos of women - that's WOMEN getting slammed, insulted, and blasted for "showing too much of their body (with kids around)". Then it escalates further when they show a school is photoshopping out women's cleavages to make them look "modest" for their yearbook. I feel this type of treatment towards the female human is all wrong! Like, can't anybody learn to appreciate and look at the female body without censoring it in any way? Can't you let ANYBODY, including kids, get a chance to learn about the differences between the male and female human bodies????
Then comes along... you guessed it. That one video Inside Edition publishes. And after seeing her top blurred, my inner voice in my head: "That's the last straw!" Like, can't some of us get a chance to learn something new that just aroused our curiosity? Such as how the human body changes with time in terms of both genders? Like, now, I can finally visualize myself (my whole body) from little boy to fully grown man. But when Inside Edition published that footage, the new question that took me by storm is: what would a female look like from little girl to fully grown woman?
But with YouTube's broken comment system GHOSTING certain-to-random comments, even on my backup YouTube account, I can't seem to get ANY messages across!
Speaking of which, when I tried to post this on Feminism and AskFeminists, they BOTH perma-banned me for NO REASON and muted me from talking to their mods for 28 days!
Why do I say "no reason"?
"Hello, You have been permanently banned from participating in this subreddit because your post violates this community's rules. You won't be able to post or comment, but you can still view and subscribe to it.
If you have a question regarding your ban, you can contact the moderator team by replying to this message.
Reminder from the Reddit staff: If you use another account to circumvent this subreddit ban, that will be considered a violation of the Content Policy and can result in your account being suspended from the site as a whole."
As you can see, there is no specific reason listed in the message above. So this is why I claim or what I mean by "banned from a sub for 'no reason'. - Even for something that was never officially listed on that sub's rule board.
Once more, I, along with these parents of their own daughter proved one major point: if a male can go topless/show their body, then so can a female - regardless of age!
Can't I get a chance to learn something new? Some evolution/development processes for certain things can be a little more complicated then you originally first thought.
Now here's the detailed version:
Ok, before you start reading below, I want you to visit this and read the whole article to better understand my situation: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/kitchener-waterloo/guelph-parents-angry-after-topless-girl-8-told-to-cover-up-1.3124762
I got banned from Lemmy social site servers for "CSAM" all because of this: the Napalm Girl pic and another thing I saw on Inside Edition's channel in addition to some nude statues - literally artwork of naked people - all because I was trying to protest ~the inconsistencies of censorship towards the female human~ - regardless of their race AND age!
Let me be clear on one thing: I didn't post any "CSAM" on the Lemmy servers! I'm protesting something that I feel is unfair towards the female human.
Please ~actually watch these before jumping to conclusions~ so you can actually understand what I’m really protesting!
Women Who Were Told Their Outfits Were ‘Too Revealing’
Mom Says She Was Kicked Out of Gym For Revealing Tank Top: I Felt Humiliated
Cops Dragged Woman Off Beach After Complaint About Her Bikini
It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit or body is “too revealing”,
Teens React After Yearbook Photos Are ‘Modesty Edited’
it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look “modest” for a yearbook or a portrait!
9-Year-Old Saves Family From House Fire
But censoring a topless preteen girl who thought up an ingenious strategy to stay cool like her friends in the same stuffy room while at the same time not caring who’s around her? THAT’S REALLY CROSSING THE LINE!
It's all thanks to some videos from Inside Edition's YouTube Channel.All these videos Inside Edition posted are developing a question in my mind that's getting the better of me: why so much hate on the female human - even as children? Like, why do they censor the little girl's chest? Can't anybody learn to appreciate the appearance of the female body? Just like those parents of their own 8 year old daughter, I too am genuinely outraged by this type of treatment towards the female human!
And what's the big deal with nipples? I'm just trying to ensure everyone is treated equally regardless of race, and gender... AND age (after what I just witnessed). And if no one's gonna speak up about this, I might as well step up to the plate. After all, somebody's got to do it!
That little girl in the final video made two non-verbal messages clear: one: if a boy can do it, then so can a girl! And two: no one is too young for anything! As long as you have the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to do it properly and safely, you'll be fine. I was able to refuel my dad's car and cook my own dinner when I was 6 and without setting anything ablaze by accident.
However, when I try to illustrate with that video, even though Inside Edition is an official news channel, the responses I get back are rather bitter! They remove my post or ban me from the sites I post on for "promoting nudity involving a minor"!
~WHERE~
~CAN~
~I~
~ASK~
~OR~
~SHARE~
~THIS~
~SUBJECT?!~
Due to my autism, I only know basic English. So I need to illustrate to get most of my messages through. I thought hard, I tried, and low and behold, they were removed hours later mainly because they "didn't fit the subject of the forum". Even though my multi-subject based thread does have some material relating to this forum's topic. These sites and mods are all really stretching my problem solving skills beyond the breaking point for this one. I'm merely protesting with these pictures and videos as illustration. I'm not that good with words, so I need pictures to get half my messages across as noted above.
Many subreddits or forum sites don’t accept URLs, pictures, specific website URLs, or even a combination! Thereby hindering my ability to fully explain what I’m witnessing! In this case, the sentences “It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit is ‘too revealing’, it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look ‘modest’ for a yearbook.” actually corresponded to several videos I beared witness to on Inside Edition’s YouTube channel.
I actually tried to post that URL with that blurred 9yo girl in a subreddit in the past and you won’t believe this: I actually lost my reddit account for 2 days for “promoting nudity involving a minor”! Other sites like the adult video forums who accept uncensored nudity-based images I mentioned just delete my thread! Another site I recall banned me for 1 year for “spam” - even though I only made this protest post twice (after they removed it once).
So that meant I had to approach this from a different angle: after that experience, I got a little paranoid from using that said video URL to illustrate. So I tried explaining this protest without the URLs - and this is in conjunction with certain sites restricting my ability to post images, URLs, certain site URLs, or a combination. It seemed to end up making things worse! Because without the visual evidence, it makes it much harder to fully explain what I’m witnessing.
So without the URLs included - that visual illustration, on the sites I tried along with Lemmy World, it actually made things worse! That’s what lead Lemmy.World mods to ban me for life for “CSAM” or made other people think I watched child porn when I clearly didn’t. The lack of visual evidence (due to my past reddit experience combined with the site’s posting restrictions) is what lead to this “pedophile” confusion. So please help me talk some sense into the Lemmings world, Lemmy.ml, and Lemmy.world mods that this was all a major misunderstanding and Lemmy is pretty much the only reddit alternative out here where I can try asking another question. My attempt to appeal has failed on 3 Lemmy social sites - even after I tried notifying the mods on the third Lemmy server site before making the post, so I need your help now!
I felt after Inside Edition uploaded that blurred 9yo girl video… I thought to myself “That’s the last straw!” Someone needs to protest these absurd censorship laws that they apply to the female human!
Why can males show most of their body but females can’t? - In most cases that is? Whatever happened to "Free The Nipple"?
Children should have the same… rights to do things as any adult! It’s about possessing the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to safely execute this action. E.G, on those “Family Day” episodes of The Price is Right and Let’s Make a Deal; those kids made smart choices when picking the correct numbers to items to win a prize.
I’m not joking around here! This type of treatment towards the female human needs to stop - this includes race and age. - It’s like racist people, but in age form.
Does it look like I’m laughing for fun? Of course not! Since no one else is protesting this, and YouTube has a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post on even random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I have to take more drastic measures to protest by stepping up to the plate and shouting out “Can’t we all be equal in terms of a huge variety of traits?” Yeah, the last thing I need is a vein-bleeding broken-record robot impeding or hindering my ability to seek answers to a question!
We need to learn to appreciate or accept how the female body appears regardless of race and age!
Stop trying to blame it all on me! None of the stuff in the vids posted, is that. If it was, Inside Edition would be the guilty party, and Youtube for not having already deleted them. If it doesn’t violate Youtube’s TOS, it should be fine to post anywhere. If there was even a hint of impropriety to it, at the minimum the vid would have been age restricted.
No one would answer! Not even Inside Edition themselves were willing to offer an answer when I even found their email address, the sites dedicated to helping those in mental, suicidal, or emotional distress (those forum sites even PERMA-banned me for "spam" - that's right, SPAM! (Even though there was absolutely no mention of a permanent ban or rule about "spam" in their forum guidelines!) Is that the definition of "spam" when I make a bad thread only once?! And when I try to appeal the ban, the same message "please contact the administrator if it was done in error" is blocking my ability to click the contact button! Or sometimes it's a blank white page with that message in the top left corner of the window! - Which adds more insult to injury, because I can't click anything as all the buttons have disappeared! That means I can't log out of that site either!), OR the adult video forums that support uncensored nudity images would accept that video link URL let alone the entire topic itself! So I really am at a loss for thoughts and words on what I just experienced! Heck, I even tried the professional therapists of talkingforchange.ca But even they too were too reluctant to talk as they claim my post regarding the censorship of women is not for their platform and they disconnected the chat 2 seconds after their last reply to me. And I highly doubt that ANY site will allow me to illustrate with a picture of the Napalm Girl (Phan Thi Kim Phuc) when she was 9, certain pictures of Pampers diaper boxes (why do you think they (Pampers, Huggies, etc.) even allow a pic of a topless little boy or girl to be plastered on a diaper box we see in grocery stores/supermarkets everyday?), Leela when she was an infant in the episode Leela's Homeworld, or even Belgium's famous kids: Manneken Pis/Jeanneke Pis. That, combined with YouTube having a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post comments on certain-to-random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I'm forced to take more drastic measures to get my messages across. All this combined, ~I'VE NEVER FELT SO SHUNNED FROM THE INTERNET IN ALL MY LIFE!~
But here's a strange catch: sometimes on some sites, Napalm Girl is censored, other sites she isn't. So I felt that I need to protest this. It seems everyone is too chicken to even start this subject! Don't these numbskulls know not to judge a book by it's cover?! This is where I ask myself "NOW WHAT?!". This can't be one of those "exceptional" cases where they say "suicide never solves anything" doesn't apply to these types of situations. In other words, all hope for resolving these types of situations really is lost. I really do feel left in the dark on both the subject of sound effects and nudity!
Once more, I'm not being a ped, I'm protesting all these absurd censorship rules and regulations that revolve around the female human - regardless of race and age - after what Inside Edition posted. Watch the videos I found again for clarification. In other words, ~the inconsistencies of female human censorship~.
Can you really - you know, hurl insults at Inside Edition or blast them for what they did? It was their idea to publicly publish the footage. Just like how that one photographer made the choice to publicly publish footage of the Napalm Girl when she was 9 and completely nude. Therefore, it should be ok to share this footage anywhere.
But some areas censored Napalm Girl's nipples, but others did not - excluding her groin. Then there's the diaper boxes I found in any supermarket. And finally... Surprise surprise: typical women being scolded by other people for wearing something "inappropriate" or "showing too much of their body". I look around and since no one else is protesting about this, I might as well do it! After all, someone's gotta step up to the plate to hit that ball! I will not sit idling by the sidelines and continue to watch the female human get treated/censored like this! I will stand up, step up, and speak out towards these absurd reactions, rules, and regulations that revolve around the appearance and censorship of the female body! What about the famous Jeanneke Pis in Belgium? Do you think she along with other nude statues are trying to promote pedophilia?
2024.05.19 10:36 Visual-Ostrich-4108 Time to finish this off with Télios Kayuri, finally done with ideas.
Télios was born a fetus. It was a miracle he even survived for such a short while. His father, from desperation and curiosity, placed him into a vat of Substance 7(Image1). There he was incubated for 9 years.
During those 9 years, the scientists there taught him the basics. Talking, writing, reading, but more importantly, how to use his gift. Complete control over his body. Every inch of flesh, membrane, and bone could mover however he wished. Morgan laid his eyes on his son, but something else greater. The perfect human, and thus spawned the name Télios. Greek for Perfection.
It allowed him to morph himself into any person, animal, or into a grotesque creature. However, he found much more use in tendrils he tipped off with bone. A few weeks after he turned 9, Morgan finally let him out of the tube.
Télios didn't want any of them to see his true form, piecing himself a body from everyone around him(image 2&3). Although he looked human, the result was... Uncanny... Hours passed until Télios finally learned to walk. He entered his father's car and went home.
Télios met Felicia and realized his appearance didn't match hers. Thus he shortened his stature, ditched the beard, and added a slight more innocent tone to his voice. The two got along great, their bond growing stronger with each passing day.
Télios quite enjoyed the violence when Morgan brought the two on opperations. The more Télios fought, the greater the ego he gained. Not only that, but the praise from his father and others pushed that arrogance farther.
During his 20's, Télios reverted to his older form (Image 2&3). And this is where a fial on Télios was cranked to 100. His "libido" drive. Thanks to his inflated ego, he believed that all, except family (obviously, ew), deserved his "gift".
Even despite Morgan's orders, Télios laid with many people, changing his form into any that was nescessary. Morgan, not wanting Télios to bear any horrific children, assembled a few agents to kill off any of his partners.
Télios couldn't care, they were one night stands anyway. And good riddance too, he was too high for child support. 20 more years of the cycle of killing, banging, and a dead partner continued for 10 years. Télios still looked the same as his 24 year old self.
However a one-time favor was asked of Télios. Morgan had to run some serious errands, and Felicia accidentally kidnapped a kid. The two going to find the parents, leaving the kid with Télios. In a short amount of time, Télios managed to traumatize the kid by explaining how a man and woman's body part work. As expected, Télios was never allowed to be near a child. Some more years pass as all was going well until...
One of these operations, they came across a man. One who bore a striking resemblance to Morgan. Than, with the 5 braincells Télios had, it clicked. This must've been an abandoned son. A fight insued in which Télios, even though he was perfect, was bested by a man in his late 30's?
Then a young boy ran out, stopping the fight. Why was this old man allowed to have a son but not him? He's perfect after all. But then Morgan fell over, clutching his chest. He muttered he was proud of them all, however when he said it. Not a glance was given to Télios...
But he's perfect? Why not look at him? It's because he's already perfect... Right? Now he laid dead. Only issue is... Where are they gonna live? Jack invited them inside, only for Télios to try to spread his seed and get him and Felicia kicked out. Eventually, Felicia found them a home, and Télios had an idea.
Now that his partners weren't being killed, that means he could father children. He could be a god to a whole new species, finally be praised for the perfection he is! Although Felix started the "hybrid" race with Jack, Télios kicked the population up sky-high. And he kept it up to his 40's.
Soon, he will be seen as perfection, by all. For he is Télios, the perfect human, a god among men. Unless one of those men are as skilled as Felix...
Also, if you noticed, I ended Felicia and Télios' stories at 40, Jack at 20. That's because canonically, they all go through wormholes and go to different universes, aka RP's, and continue their stories there. And now the possibilities are endless!
submitted by Visual-Ostrich-4108 to OriginalCharacter [link] [comments]
During those 9 years, the scientists there taught him the basics. Talking, writing, reading, but more importantly, how to use his gift. Complete control over his body. Every inch of flesh, membrane, and bone could mover however he wished. Morgan laid his eyes on his son, but something else greater. The perfect human, and thus spawned the name Télios. Greek for Perfection.
It allowed him to morph himself into any person, animal, or into a grotesque creature. However, he found much more use in tendrils he tipped off with bone. A few weeks after he turned 9, Morgan finally let him out of the tube.
Télios didn't want any of them to see his true form, piecing himself a body from everyone around him(image 2&3). Although he looked human, the result was... Uncanny... Hours passed until Télios finally learned to walk. He entered his father's car and went home.
Télios met Felicia and realized his appearance didn't match hers. Thus he shortened his stature, ditched the beard, and added a slight more innocent tone to his voice. The two got along great, their bond growing stronger with each passing day.
Télios quite enjoyed the violence when Morgan brought the two on opperations. The more Télios fought, the greater the ego he gained. Not only that, but the praise from his father and others pushed that arrogance farther.
During his 20's, Télios reverted to his older form (Image 2&3). And this is where a fial on Télios was cranked to 100. His "libido" drive. Thanks to his inflated ego, he believed that all, except family (obviously, ew), deserved his "gift".
Even despite Morgan's orders, Télios laid with many people, changing his form into any that was nescessary. Morgan, not wanting Télios to bear any horrific children, assembled a few agents to kill off any of his partners.
Télios couldn't care, they were one night stands anyway. And good riddance too, he was too high for child support. 20 more years of the cycle of killing, banging, and a dead partner continued for 10 years. Télios still looked the same as his 24 year old self.
However a one-time favor was asked of Télios. Morgan had to run some serious errands, and Felicia accidentally kidnapped a kid. The two going to find the parents, leaving the kid with Télios. In a short amount of time, Télios managed to traumatize the kid by explaining how a man and woman's body part work. As expected, Télios was never allowed to be near a child. Some more years pass as all was going well until...
One of these operations, they came across a man. One who bore a striking resemblance to Morgan. Than, with the 5 braincells Télios had, it clicked. This must've been an abandoned son. A fight insued in which Télios, even though he was perfect, was bested by a man in his late 30's?
Then a young boy ran out, stopping the fight. Why was this old man allowed to have a son but not him? He's perfect after all. But then Morgan fell over, clutching his chest. He muttered he was proud of them all, however when he said it. Not a glance was given to Télios...
But he's perfect? Why not look at him? It's because he's already perfect... Right? Now he laid dead. Only issue is... Where are they gonna live? Jack invited them inside, only for Télios to try to spread his seed and get him and Felicia kicked out. Eventually, Felicia found them a home, and Télios had an idea.
Now that his partners weren't being killed, that means he could father children. He could be a god to a whole new species, finally be praised for the perfection he is! Although Felix started the "hybrid" race with Jack, Télios kicked the population up sky-high. And he kept it up to his 40's.
Soon, he will be seen as perfection, by all. For he is Télios, the perfect human, a god among men. Unless one of those men are as skilled as Felix...
Also, if you noticed, I ended Felicia and Télios' stories at 40, Jack at 20. That's because canonically, they all go through wormholes and go to different universes, aka RP's, and continue their stories there. And now the possibilities are endless!
2024.05.19 09:59 createdjustforthis23 19/05/2024
I slept fine, I didn’t fall asleep so nicely. I don’t know why, I felt perfectly adequate all evening and then bam I cry myself to sleep. I don’t know how or why, and I didn’t even cry over anything in particular it was just any and everything. And I just kept crying and crying, like a baby. I had to switch pillows twice because I drenched it, but I got to sleep on my favourite pillow by the time I was almost asleep thankfully. I can be so picky with pillows, another thing mum tends to call me, even to this day - the princess and the pea. Or rather she likens me to her… I can’t entirely say I disagree tbh. I just like things a particular way, not all things, I can be relaxed about plenty, but there are some things I just to be just so. My pillows when I sleep for example, how the dishwasher top rack is stacked etc. Entirely inconsequential things really. But anyway. I didn’t fall asleep so nicely. I woke up feeling better, still a bit sad but nothing I couldn’t ignore.
It’s now 12:58pm and I’ve done next to nothing. I’ve been watching BT, I’m not writing the name of the show because I feel like that might be search heavy at the moment? So I’ve been watching that, I’m midway through the third episode now and there are four out so far. I’ve also painted some of my lil clay things with primer. And that’s about it. I really need to clean and tidy my room but the idea of it… ugh. I don’t want to :(
I’m loving BT so much. I like the stories and characters and stuff, but I mostly love the sets and costumes. They’re just so luxuriously opulent and uggghhhhhhh I want to just stare it all. Sometimes I wish they would clear out the cast and just give us a tour of the rooms and show all the details of the gowns. But like I learned in therapy, beauty is something I value highly, not in a vain way but in the way I utterly adore beautiful things whether it be a stunningly ornate wallpaper, a sparkly bead encrusted gown or even a leaf that is the perfect shade of green. I just love it all and it brings me so much joy, more than I realised now that I’m conscious of this value of mine. But the BT house itself, particularly the drawing room ommmmgggg. The blue? I think it’s called wedgewood blue from memory, with the creamy/white detailing. And all the light streaming through. It’s so dreamy. And it makes me love my blue and white bedroom more. And the gowns!!!!!!! I wish I could roll around in them, they’re so sparkly and detailed and beyond beautiful. Particularly the ones crusted in beading and with the luxurious silks and satins and velvets and taffetas and organza and all of it. And the colours! It’s all so dreamy. I don’t overly love the style of a lot of the gowns, that sort of empire line, mainly because it only looks good on women with fewer curves and a flatter chest, they can look gorrrrrrrgeous in them. But otherwise if you have any kind of cleavage it looks so weird and bleh. I love Penelope so much, she’s always been a favourite character and she honestly deserves the very best. And Colin definitely got a glow up prior to this season. His brown coat is so delicious. I’m beginning to wonder if I should read the series…? I do love a lil historical romance. Anyway I don’t even Penelope and Colin to end up together, I mean Lord Debling is so lovely and Colin is off sleeping with hookers… like? Then again I know I am wrong in how I think and feel about all of this. I know I have expectations ghat are unfair, I mean maybe not for everyone but if I’m nothing special and therefore not enough then can I criticise. This doesn’t make sense. Anyway. Actually nevermind I just watched the fourth episode and I am very much Team Colin. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!!!!!!!! But now I have to wait for part two in mid June :(
I’m going to the office tomorrow. I don’t want to. But oh well. I’m going to make a concerted effort to get back in twice a week - I’ve been slack with it and it doesn’t help me become better. Leaving the house more is important, so this shall be one of the ways. I’m also going to get some new sneakers and a walking jacket so I can go for walks more regularly. I’d like to go several times a week, but I’ll work up to that. I love my walks, I love them a lot but I just get filled with every negative emotion when I go for them around my house, to the point I’ll start having tears running down my cheeks or shaky trembly hands - it’s pathetic. I think environment is everything, and purpose. When I walk pups at my parents I don’t feel these things, I’ll be a little anxy but nothing I can’t manage. But here? It’s so hard. It’s so stupid I know. But I love walking, I feel better when I do it regularly, so I shall keep forcing myself to do it until I feel okay about it. I know this is what I have to do, but the way it makes me feel inside… it never feels worth it. To be 20 minutes walk from home and feel on the verge of a panic attack is NOT a good feeling and it only makes my panic worsen. So baby steps. I’ve been considering on and off moving to a different area, I think I would feel more comfortable in other areas, I don’t know why I don’t here but I don’t. But moving elsewhere is no different to running from problems so I will sort it out here.
I broke his little bowl. I didn’t mean to :( I feel kind of upset about it, it’s been two weeks in the making with time to shape, dry, prime and I was doing a final layer of primer pre paint and my stupid finger went through the base. So I guess it would never have been a good present anyway because it broke so easily. But I bought a really pretty coloured paint because I thought he might like it and I just feel upset. I showed him it, idk why, I just messaged him a picture of it now and I already wish I hadn’t. I shouldn’t have even made anything for him in the first place, he’s made it abundantly clear he doesn’t care for homemade things - cards, presents, whatever. If he did like them he would comment on them, and he never does, so maybe it’s a good thing this broke. I just like sharing things with him, like when I draw and I like a tree I’ve drawn I want to show him, except I don’t because I’m utterly rubbish at drawing and it makes me look like a five year old. I at least appreciate his honesty, or transparency rather. It means I can understand what he does and doesn’t like. I just think his likes don’t mesh with my like of making homemade cards and presents. It’s not like I only give him that though. Anyway it doesn’t matter, plus it’s probably better for me to not share things like this given I don’t have any skill or natural talent with it. Just because you enjoy something doesn’t make you good at it.
I don’t feel so great this afternoon, mood wise.
I’ve done the absolute bare minimum with my room, and the bar was set very, very low today. I tidied the floor up a bit, I made my bed, did a lazy tidy of my vanity desk thing.. that’s about it. I’ll do more across the week.
I feel.. detached today. This afternoon, rather. I know I love my family, Andy, puppy… etc. I just can’t feel it. I know it’s all in there, but I feel detached and I can’t reach it. This isn’t unusual, I just always try to describe the feeling and always fail. I think knowing I care but not being able to feel myself care sums it up as well as I’ll ever be able to.
I found a little notebook of my early days of therapy, well with this current one, maybe not that early actually but idk. It was just me writing down who I am. The first is “I am a human” because I had to start with the basics. The last line is “I try my best to be friendly” - I think I will continue with this. No one really comments much on me so I will just write it as things feel write. From memory it was also a way to force myself to speak more kindly to myself, ie I am a woman vs I am a monster. And things like I’m generous, I love animals, I am quiet, I try to be patient, I love romance, I appreciate attention to detail, I like to care for others, I am a homebody, I love reading etc. And then scattered amongst it was some honesty, like I can be a control freak, I am quite particular about some things, I am indecisive, I am sensitive etc. And then next to I am a friend I have a question mark. But I want to continue writing these things, I think it’s helpful when I feel lost in myself to be able to read through a list of things I’ve written and be reminded. That sounds so silly to not know who you are sometimes, but sometimes I just feel so unbelievably lost and unmoored from everything, even myself. So I’ll write all the good things, and the bad. I’ll write things that I like, things that I don’t. I’ll write things I want in my life, things I feel like I should want but don’t, things I shouldn’t want but do etc etc etc. It’ll be a little tiny notebook of everything me. I wonder if sometimes it’s possible for me to get any lamer? Unlikely.
I’ve been thinking about stopping journaling here more and more. I get more out of posting it here, it feels like a release, like I’m letting all the thoughts go which is especially helpful with my negative ones, I don’t know.
It’s 5:23pm. I need to wash and blowdry my hair, as it’s still damp in the morning lately. I need to have something for dinner, I guess. I’ve been struggling with eating lately, I feel so ugly and it makes me not want to eat and then that sets off a bad string of things. I’ll have something little, vegemite toast maybe. I need to pack my bag for tomorrow. And that’s it.
I feel better after a shower and chat with Andy, I still feel not good but he perked me up on the outside. He makes me laugh so much :) It’s kind of weird to think I’ll be living long term in Australia, like I’ve always intended on living there - until my mental health and covid messed things up a little for me timeline wise. But to think I’ll maybe say Australian things…? That I’ll say thongs? And I definitely will because I cave quickly, like I was only in the UK two years and I said crisps and trainers and I still do to this day, which I’m actively trying to stop. I wonder what my accent would sound like after like ten years… I really doubt I’d ever lose my accent. It’s funny how I do probably sound a bit different when talking to him versus my mum. I just talk more softly with him, I naturally do anyway to the point I have people comment semi regularly on how soft spoken I am, but idk, I don’t even mean to speak to him a certain way, I just do? And then he hears me talking to mum and I probably sound like I’m wearing Jandals and stubbies while loading up the ute as I prepare for a tramp in the bush. Christ. I do love being from here though, in theory I would rather we live here than Australia, and never say never… but it makes more sense to be there. I don’t really have anyone here other than my parents whereas he has family and friends and his payments and all of it. I don’t really have any ties here. Anyway.
I get to spend time with him tonight :) Night night
submitted by createdjustforthis23 to u/createdjustforthis23 [link] [comments]
It’s now 12:58pm and I’ve done next to nothing. I’ve been watching BT, I’m not writing the name of the show because I feel like that might be search heavy at the moment? So I’ve been watching that, I’m midway through the third episode now and there are four out so far. I’ve also painted some of my lil clay things with primer. And that’s about it. I really need to clean and tidy my room but the idea of it… ugh. I don’t want to :(
I’m loving BT so much. I like the stories and characters and stuff, but I mostly love the sets and costumes. They’re just so luxuriously opulent and uggghhhhhhh I want to just stare it all. Sometimes I wish they would clear out the cast and just give us a tour of the rooms and show all the details of the gowns. But like I learned in therapy, beauty is something I value highly, not in a vain way but in the way I utterly adore beautiful things whether it be a stunningly ornate wallpaper, a sparkly bead encrusted gown or even a leaf that is the perfect shade of green. I just love it all and it brings me so much joy, more than I realised now that I’m conscious of this value of mine. But the BT house itself, particularly the drawing room ommmmgggg. The blue? I think it’s called wedgewood blue from memory, with the creamy/white detailing. And all the light streaming through. It’s so dreamy. And it makes me love my blue and white bedroom more. And the gowns!!!!!!! I wish I could roll around in them, they’re so sparkly and detailed and beyond beautiful. Particularly the ones crusted in beading and with the luxurious silks and satins and velvets and taffetas and organza and all of it. And the colours! It’s all so dreamy. I don’t overly love the style of a lot of the gowns, that sort of empire line, mainly because it only looks good on women with fewer curves and a flatter chest, they can look gorrrrrrrgeous in them. But otherwise if you have any kind of cleavage it looks so weird and bleh. I love Penelope so much, she’s always been a favourite character and she honestly deserves the very best. And Colin definitely got a glow up prior to this season. His brown coat is so delicious. I’m beginning to wonder if I should read the series…? I do love a lil historical romance. Anyway I don’t even Penelope and Colin to end up together, I mean Lord Debling is so lovely and Colin is off sleeping with hookers… like? Then again I know I am wrong in how I think and feel about all of this. I know I have expectations ghat are unfair, I mean maybe not for everyone but if I’m nothing special and therefore not enough then can I criticise. This doesn’t make sense. Anyway. Actually nevermind I just watched the fourth episode and I am very much Team Colin. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!!!!!!!! But now I have to wait for part two in mid June :(
I’m going to the office tomorrow. I don’t want to. But oh well. I’m going to make a concerted effort to get back in twice a week - I’ve been slack with it and it doesn’t help me become better. Leaving the house more is important, so this shall be one of the ways. I’m also going to get some new sneakers and a walking jacket so I can go for walks more regularly. I’d like to go several times a week, but I’ll work up to that. I love my walks, I love them a lot but I just get filled with every negative emotion when I go for them around my house, to the point I’ll start having tears running down my cheeks or shaky trembly hands - it’s pathetic. I think environment is everything, and purpose. When I walk pups at my parents I don’t feel these things, I’ll be a little anxy but nothing I can’t manage. But here? It’s so hard. It’s so stupid I know. But I love walking, I feel better when I do it regularly, so I shall keep forcing myself to do it until I feel okay about it. I know this is what I have to do, but the way it makes me feel inside… it never feels worth it. To be 20 minutes walk from home and feel on the verge of a panic attack is NOT a good feeling and it only makes my panic worsen. So baby steps. I’ve been considering on and off moving to a different area, I think I would feel more comfortable in other areas, I don’t know why I don’t here but I don’t. But moving elsewhere is no different to running from problems so I will sort it out here.
I broke his little bowl. I didn’t mean to :( I feel kind of upset about it, it’s been two weeks in the making with time to shape, dry, prime and I was doing a final layer of primer pre paint and my stupid finger went through the base. So I guess it would never have been a good present anyway because it broke so easily. But I bought a really pretty coloured paint because I thought he might like it and I just feel upset. I showed him it, idk why, I just messaged him a picture of it now and I already wish I hadn’t. I shouldn’t have even made anything for him in the first place, he’s made it abundantly clear he doesn’t care for homemade things - cards, presents, whatever. If he did like them he would comment on them, and he never does, so maybe it’s a good thing this broke. I just like sharing things with him, like when I draw and I like a tree I’ve drawn I want to show him, except I don’t because I’m utterly rubbish at drawing and it makes me look like a five year old. I at least appreciate his honesty, or transparency rather. It means I can understand what he does and doesn’t like. I just think his likes don’t mesh with my like of making homemade cards and presents. It’s not like I only give him that though. Anyway it doesn’t matter, plus it’s probably better for me to not share things like this given I don’t have any skill or natural talent with it. Just because you enjoy something doesn’t make you good at it.
I don’t feel so great this afternoon, mood wise.
I’ve done the absolute bare minimum with my room, and the bar was set very, very low today. I tidied the floor up a bit, I made my bed, did a lazy tidy of my vanity desk thing.. that’s about it. I’ll do more across the week.
I feel.. detached today. This afternoon, rather. I know I love my family, Andy, puppy… etc. I just can’t feel it. I know it’s all in there, but I feel detached and I can’t reach it. This isn’t unusual, I just always try to describe the feeling and always fail. I think knowing I care but not being able to feel myself care sums it up as well as I’ll ever be able to.
I found a little notebook of my early days of therapy, well with this current one, maybe not that early actually but idk. It was just me writing down who I am. The first is “I am a human” because I had to start with the basics. The last line is “I try my best to be friendly” - I think I will continue with this. No one really comments much on me so I will just write it as things feel write. From memory it was also a way to force myself to speak more kindly to myself, ie I am a woman vs I am a monster. And things like I’m generous, I love animals, I am quiet, I try to be patient, I love romance, I appreciate attention to detail, I like to care for others, I am a homebody, I love reading etc. And then scattered amongst it was some honesty, like I can be a control freak, I am quite particular about some things, I am indecisive, I am sensitive etc. And then next to I am a friend I have a question mark. But I want to continue writing these things, I think it’s helpful when I feel lost in myself to be able to read through a list of things I’ve written and be reminded. That sounds so silly to not know who you are sometimes, but sometimes I just feel so unbelievably lost and unmoored from everything, even myself. So I’ll write all the good things, and the bad. I’ll write things that I like, things that I don’t. I’ll write things I want in my life, things I feel like I should want but don’t, things I shouldn’t want but do etc etc etc. It’ll be a little tiny notebook of everything me. I wonder if sometimes it’s possible for me to get any lamer? Unlikely.
I’ve been thinking about stopping journaling here more and more. I get more out of posting it here, it feels like a release, like I’m letting all the thoughts go which is especially helpful with my negative ones, I don’t know.
It’s 5:23pm. I need to wash and blowdry my hair, as it’s still damp in the morning lately. I need to have something for dinner, I guess. I’ve been struggling with eating lately, I feel so ugly and it makes me not want to eat and then that sets off a bad string of things. I’ll have something little, vegemite toast maybe. I need to pack my bag for tomorrow. And that’s it.
I feel better after a shower and chat with Andy, I still feel not good but he perked me up on the outside. He makes me laugh so much :) It’s kind of weird to think I’ll be living long term in Australia, like I’ve always intended on living there - until my mental health and covid messed things up a little for me timeline wise. But to think I’ll maybe say Australian things…? That I’ll say thongs? And I definitely will because I cave quickly, like I was only in the UK two years and I said crisps and trainers and I still do to this day, which I’m actively trying to stop. I wonder what my accent would sound like after like ten years… I really doubt I’d ever lose my accent. It’s funny how I do probably sound a bit different when talking to him versus my mum. I just talk more softly with him, I naturally do anyway to the point I have people comment semi regularly on how soft spoken I am, but idk, I don’t even mean to speak to him a certain way, I just do? And then he hears me talking to mum and I probably sound like I’m wearing Jandals and stubbies while loading up the ute as I prepare for a tramp in the bush. Christ. I do love being from here though, in theory I would rather we live here than Australia, and never say never… but it makes more sense to be there. I don’t really have anyone here other than my parents whereas he has family and friends and his payments and all of it. I don’t really have any ties here. Anyway.
I get to spend time with him tonight :) Night night
2024.05.19 09:37 babynaners96 Help me figure out what this movie was please!
I came across a clip of a creature horror film, and now I can’t find it. The clip I saw, was so crazy I need to see it! Basically, the creature was very tall, long limbs, it was standing over the woman and it opened its chest, ooze spills out, and then an, almost umbrella like mouth comes out from the chest, and the clip ends. If this sounds familiar to anyone, or if anyone can find it, please! I need to see this!!
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